#but when a stupid ass take that then creates a idea that gets POPULAR

[lady-tortilla-chip]

Anyone else ever just unreasonably offended by other people’s ideas

[dolche-tejada]

So I wanted to point out the usual nonsenses coming from Tony Stark antis and luckily enough, one of them made a post quoting pretty much most of their popular "arguments" (if I can refer to them as such), so let's take a look at this user’s main points and see how solid they are.

"Let's talk about the horrible shit Tony has done in the MCU"

Please keep in mind the "horrible shit" term all along during your reading.

"MCU Tony has mortared a city full of civilians"

Okay so first point and it literally never happened. USA's government did that to Wanda and Pietro's town, not Tony so I hope it wasn't too painful to pull this nonsense out of your ass.

"Been a complete dick to all of his teammates"

Oh no... he was mean to Steve and his coworkers during their first movie ? What a complete tragedy, what a heartless monster. Please stop the violins, otherwise I might weep.

"Made multiple misogynistic comments about women mainly Natasha (looking at you prima nocta scene)"

Okay so you gave only one example to back this up and it's when he was obviously joking with his friends. Even if that joke may be in very bad taste, that doesn't make him a horrible person like you tried to demonstrate, you're just nitpicking.

"Manipulated a 16 year old into getting into a war with his former teammates"

A) "a war" please don't make me laugh. For most of the only fight Peter take part in, both sides were joking with the other while fighting and weren't even fighting seriously, they were just trying to incapacitate each other. Things only get messy after Tony ordered Peter to step back.

B) Tony didn't manipulate shit. He hid no vital informations to Peter and while bringing a 16 year old to an arrest was indeed a stupid decision, he knew Steve wouldn't harm him and that Peter was strong, competent and equipped enough to deal with him.

"Thought he was completely justified for trying to kill Bucky for something Bucky did unwillingly cuz he was fucking brainwashed"

Why the fuck are you lying ? At no point Tony justified himself for this. He tried during the whole Civil War plot to ease things with Steve and this even after his best friend got disabled for life because Steve escalated the situation at the airport, only to learn then that his friend lied to him all along about his parents' death.

At this point Tony just didn't care anymore and while he was obviously wrong for trying to kill Bucky, it's not like he had no understandable reasons to go after him. Brainwashed or not, most people would try to obliterate their parents' murderer if he stood right in front of them.

"Repeatedly mocked Bruce Banner who was filled with self loathing and even tried to kill himself because of how much he hated being The Hulk"

Firstly he joked with him, not about him. Secondly, Tony was the only one who respected Bruce from the start and never treated him like some ticking bomb ready to explode.

"Created most of the villains in the MCU (Mysterio and Co., Vulture, Aldrich Killian, The Maximoff Twins, Justin Hammer, The Flag-Smashers etc)"

Okay, where do I even begin on that.

Quentin Beck was a narcissistic asshole who got mad because his boss called his invention "B.A.R.F", that and Tony tossing it aside because this tech was way too expansive for its very limited applications. So not Tony's fault if Beck had an ego more fragile than a soap bubble.

Hammer tried to destroy Tony's image and Stark Industries first, so Tony defended himself by revealing he crippled a man by trying to replicate his tech. Hammer fucked around and found out, not Tony's fault if he's an hypocritical idiot.

Concerning the Flag Smashers, the reason they became terrorists wasn't caused by Tony bringing back half of the universe, it was due to the Global Repatriation Council's disastrous resources management.

About Toomes, Tony had no prior knowledge of the contract he signed with NY and even if he did, leaving dangerous alien tech in the hands of random people is quite a moronic idea, as evidenced by what they did with this tech for years. Not Tony's fault if Toomes is delusional and sucks at his job.

Aldrich Killian ? Be fucking real, he became a super-villain just because Tony ignored him, an archetypal greasy-haired nerd who literally drools as he talks, for a pretty chick on New Year's Eve.

Like obviously, when a serial killer stab someone to death, the most logical reaction is to blame those who assemble knives at the factory rather than the murderer himself, makes perfect sense to me.

The Maximoff Twins, my god this argument again... Yeah let's blame the guy who designed and sold weapons to his government rather than, oh I don't know, the fucking guys who used them against civilians ??

"Which also means he's also had some hand in the deaths caused by all these characters"

Literally none of the characters you quoted became super-villains because of him.

"Created Ultron"

He intended to create a security system against other alien invasions and it resulted in a genocidal robot, which only happened because Wanda mindraped him some hours before. Tony is responsible for Ultron's creation, Wanda for what he became.

And I don't want to see anybody whining in my mentions that he already planned to design Ultron prior to her mindraping him, not when she had this fucking grin after seeing Tony taking the Mind Stone with him.

Let alone when she threw this line, later in the movie : I saw Stark’s fear. I knew it would control him, make him self destruct.

She knew letting him take the Stone would cause something awful that might also kill him and she used her powers to make him even more paranoid. She's responsible for Ultron going from "A suit of armor around the world" to "Genocidal Murder Bot", not Tony.

"Thought it was a good idea to have a newly created AI be exposed to The Mind Stone which caused Ultron to kill JARVIS and go rogue

A) Which again wouldn't have happened if Wanda hadn't mindraped him the same day.

B) He didn't consciously exposed Ultron to it, the Mind Stone corrupted the AI on its own, something Tony and Bruce had no way to predict.

C) Still not his fault anyway. Ultron is sentient, he takes his own decisions. Tony being his "father" doesn't change anything to this state of fact.

"Profited off of war by making weapons of mass destruction and selling them"

Something he's spent over a decade to make amend for, notably by closing his weapons division and dedicating his life and resources to helping people and saving the world.

"Bought illegally obtained vibranium stolen directly from Wakanda by Klaue"

False too. All we know is that they met each other at the time Tony was still designing weapons ; and that Klaue told him he was looking for something new. At no point was it implied Tony illegally bought vibranium from him.

"Technically responsible for more vibranium being stolen from Wakanda by Klaue due to Ultron"

This vibranium was already stolen by Klaue when Ultron met him.

"Being responsible for everyone who died in Sokovia's death because he made Ultron"

So following your reasoning, I guess Jeffrey Dahmer's parents are responsible for every murder their son committed from his own free-will ? Did I get that right ?

"Being unwilling to help Steve and the others fix the Blip cuz muh daughter"

My god, how dare he... being against playing with time and rather trying to accept what happened while taking care of his family.

And this when we know screwing up with time can cause world-ending events.

Truly a proof of how horrible of a human being he is, indeed.

Btw I like how you ignored that Tony changed his mind and helped them afterwards.

"Supported The Sokovia Accords which need I remind you all Tony is technically responsible for The Accords being made because A. he's the one who killed Wanda's parents (blah blah blah, a lot of false attributions later...) causing her to kill Crossbones and a building full of people"

Still isn't him who dropped those mortar shells on her house. Just like it's not him who pushed Crossbones to go suicide-bombers, wrote the Sokovia Accords and incited 119 countries to sign them.

"and B. he is literally responsible for what happened to Sokovia BECAUSE HE MADE ULTRON"

Already answered to this shit, let's continue.

"Referring to Wanda as "a weapon of mass destruction" in Civil War"

Lmao because she isn't ? No one forced Wanda to join a terrorist organization, pal. Just like no one pushed her to act as a weapon of mass destruction, by using her powers to send Hulk on a rampage across Johannesburg or by enslaving Westview.

"meanwhile HE is the REASON SHE has her powers in the first place"

Sure, Tony whispered in her ear every night to go serve as a guinea pig for Nazis in order to get her revenge on him. I forgot this part of Wanda's backstory, silly me.

"Falsely imprisoning the heroes that didn't sign The Accords because he's a cunt"

Tony don't have any power or authority to imprison people, and the heroes he stopped got incarcerated because they indeed broke the law, you jackass.

"Being technically responsible for all the deaths caused by Wanda in Wandavision and DSATMOM because if he didn't kill her parents with his mortar..."

I don't think you know what "technically" means.

"then her and Pietro wouldn't have went to Hydra thus not getting their powers from The Mind Stone"

You know what would have actually prevented all the deaths Wanda caused ? Her not willingly joining Nazis to get her powers and going on a murder spree.

"And you are probably thinking "But he sacrificed himself at the end of Endgame !""

To save the whole universe indeed. That and quite a few other things, such as :

Outright refusing to help terrorists and getting tortured as a result.

Risking his life to save Yinsen.

Saving Afghans villagers from terrorists.

Saving Pepper and SHIELD's agents from Obadiah Stane.

Actively saving people on a daily basis, and this for a decade.

Developing a shit ton of armors to protect people more efficiently.

Saving New York and the world overall from Chitauris.

Stopping Killian from taking over the USA.

Curing Pepper from the Extremis treatment.

Designing Veronica with Bruce.

Fighting Hulk to protect Johannesburg.

Saving the world once again, alongside the Avengers.

Awarding promising students with the funds to develop their own projects and inventions.

Granting his tech to Peter and designing for him two suits that allowed him to save many lives.

Saving Stephen's life from Ebony Maw.

Helping the Avengers to travel in other timelines.

"Let me ask you this : If Strange had hold Tony that the only way to defeat Thanos is if Tony sacrificed himself would Tony do it"

It's literally what happened during Endgame, you fucking bozo. What do you think was the meaning of this scene ?

And it's not like it was something new, he was always ready to die for others' sake, right from the start, did you even watched the first Avengers movie ?

No wait, even better : Have you at least watched the beginning of his first solo movie ?

I wasn't expecting anything from Tony antis but sucking that hard at watching a movie is quite impressive ngl.

"Bottom line is MCU Wanda sucks and Tony Stark sucks"

Yeah no shit, that's pretty easy to say when you're making up lies to support your hate boner.

So in conclusion, this dude has no idea of what he's talking about and neither does Tony antis in general for using these bs as arguments.

[mr2swap]

Football this season

-calm down boy I got A+ on your exam it was a piece of cake for me, you're going to play American football again this season-

I flexed my huge arms to show my intellect and genetic superiority while the obese middle-aged man just looked at me sadly and jealously, he had been in Johnson's body for 2 days and had already stuffed the ass of the captain of the men's swim team and the basketball one, but the pathetic look behind those square glasses was the best reward.

I never tire of showing off those huge arms and those abs that the fags at school fall in love with, now I understand why all those athletes spend all day in the gym instead of in the library.

As an algebra teacher, every year I have a group of young idiots who beg me on their knees in front of my office to help them pass their exams. Qualifying so they could play the field, but he didn't need any of that crap, all he wanted was their lives.

Of course, the kids don't want a tutor or some kind of extra essay, they just want to bribe me with their parents' money to put a D+ on their exams, luckily I've found a way to take advantage of my situation.

I was never very popular when I was young, but now I get to live 1 week a month in the carefree life of an airhead jock while he lives my shitty life as an underpaid high school teacher with a small penis who still lives with mom, I used to believe that football was stupid, It feels fucking great to be the center of attention on the field Johnson hasn't even played a game since he entered high school all he does is train his body so that I get all the glory after winning the game.

From the moment I saw him enter my class I knew I would put my hands on that rather muscular and fucking handsome body, Johnson was always an idiot, most of the time he was talking to his friends in the back of the room or sleeping in my class.

Stealing the portable body swapping machine from the science fair 7 years ago was the best idea I've ever had, ever since then I've been secretly "helping" my students, Even the Principal has complimented me on my good work with the students .

Although being young and having all my hair is great, the part I enjoy the most is watching my students suffer in my body, after we return to our original bodies they become valedictorian, so they don't have to spend another week in my shoes But there are always Jocks or thugs lining up outside my classroom door for me to receive their bodies.

The rumors that the quarterback was found walking into a hotel while holding hands with an obese 60 year old man is just a small price for an A+, like I said my salary is a pittance so I don't see any of it. Bad at taking a little more of My new youth and charging a bunch of old Homos For worshiping my muscular arms, kissing my perfect abs And kissing my huge stinky feet.

Maybe in a couple of years when I retire I'll steal the body of the new master of chemistry, I wouldn't mind "teaching" again for a couple more years as long as I have this machine.

Hello, if you like bodyswap stories take a look at my patreon, I have a lot of more stories, and you can help me keep creating more stories!

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

morgana finds akechi first huh :eyes: that's an interesting concept! would this be before all the mental shutdowns have taken place? is wakaba a key character? any elaborations would be cool :>

That would be a really interesting and cool way to take the AU (and I think I've seen others with AUs along those lines) but I actually take it in a bit of a different direction. So sadly, no, Morgana doesn't find Goro that early on or stop him from joining Shido/enacting his stupid ass plan to take him down.

Basically, only about six months before the start of the game, Morgana and Goro happen upon each other at some point, most likely in Mementos. Morgana immediately wants to recruit Goro, especially when he learns Goro is relatively popular and can access more of Mementos than he can, which would help him figure out how to regain his true form. Goro is having absolutely none of this, but Morgana helps him out of a difficult fight and actually has some knowledge about the Metaverse that he doesn't (like how he has healing skills and knowledge about infiltration tools, etc) so he reluctantly admits to himself that it might not be a bad idea for him to use Morgana for his own gain too.

When Morgana finds out Goro is killing people he doesn't outright object to it but he does keep going on about how there's a "better way" and he has this idea about creating a team that will change hearts and reform society and Goro is having absolutely none of that shit, he works alone thank you very much (conveniently ignoring the fact that he is currently working with a not-cat-being).

The two keep meeting up in the Metaverse, mostly initiated by Morgana but Goro tolerates it only because he always brings something useful and carries his own weight. Over time a very uneasy alliance forms between Morgana and Goro, who both fully believe they are merely using the other for their own gain but very secretly and slowly getting attached. Goro keeps his true plans a secret from Morgana (he just knows Goro works for Someone and that people keep mysteriously dying or going on rampages after his trips into the Metaverse) and Morgana is also pretty cagey about his own past (not having any memories doesn't exactly help).

After a few months (so around February 2016) Morgana moves in with Goro and slowly starts to get more concerned about him, while Goro starts to grow fond of the cat he's now caring for, but both of them are in deep, deep, deep denial about this. Goro is genuinely intrigued by this change of heart deal but he's not sure about where he stands on it morally, and he doesn't want to work with anyone else or make Shido suspicious. But if what Morgana is saying is true, it could be a very interesting experiment at the very least. But he still refuses to actually suggest they try it out.

One day in the early spring Morgana leaves the house and doesn't come back. He'd told Goro he planned on checking out a new Palace he found in an attempt to experiment with this change of heart idea he has and Goro refused to come along with him. Finally, worried about Morgana's safety, Goro follows him into that Palace, which of course, is Kamoshida's.

Both of them end up captured and Goro is thrown in the same cell alongside Morgana, and Akira and Ryuji find the two of them Very Loudly bickering in the cell over whose fault it is that they ended up here (Morgana argues that Goro shouldn't have gotten reckless and gotten himself captured by confronting Kamoshida's Shadow head-on by himself while Goro argues Morgana shouldn't have come here alone and given Goro no choice but to try to find him, both of them completely ignoring the implications of these arguments and how they reveal their weaknesses and care for each other).

And long story short Goro ends up joining the Thieves from day one by complete accident. He functions as a double agent for the first two Palaces, fully intending to eventually betray them all, but over time he's slowly won over as he forms bonds, and by the time Makoto joins he realizes he's let adults manipulate him too and decides fuck it--his loyalty is with the Thieves after all.

I haven't worked out exactly how it'd go down but eventually he'd stop taking orders from Shido, probably doing something like fake his death somehow, and join the Thieves for real, eventually taking down Shido along with them.

[woven-song]

so i've acknowledged that i have a problem. i can't be the only one, but i've had an addiction to character.ai and as a result i haven't made much fan work this past year. i'd figured it was just due to my depression but now i've finally noticed the damage it does to my motivation to create, which im sure many others have struggled with and discussed but i'm personally now just starting to understand and see in myself.

most people probably use character.ai for generally talking to their favorite characters, but some (including me) have used it as a replacement for writing actual fanfiction or roleplaying, knowingly or not. i used to have simple conversations with the chatbots like any other user, until i gradually got more wordy and it turned into more of a semi-lit roleplay, writing until i wanted the other character to take action.

the way this ai works is too appealing and extremely addictive, especially for fans who crave content of their rarepairs. unlike in popular shipping circles where there's seemingly a neverending supply of new art/fics to explore, eventually the same 5 people who would always make works for their stupid little guys get tired until new people show up, and it's hard for those (me) who still endlessly crave more to be satisfied. but then there's character.ai with its instant gratitude of having something to talk to and feed your ideas to without having to search for an actual person, who even then could reject your ideas, while the ai is ready to eat up anything you give it. and having a bot that can throw out new responses to your writing snippets until you get one that hits you just right? woof. instead of throwing my shit at the wall and hoping someone new will show up who also likes it, i feel stuck throwing my shit at a bot that gives me just what my rat brain craves with no real connection.

and it's a genuine addiction. i've been on this thing every day, any time im in a brainrot, even as a means of calming down to sleep. yes, i'd been on the subscription. my hooked ass couldn't handle 30+ minutes of waiting when i wanted my fix. whenever i'd get my brain attached to a thought like an au setting, a prompt or even just a fun snippet of dialogue or a juicy phrase, id go and feed it into the ai's mouth instead of making a drawing or tossing it into google docs like i used to. i can't imagine how many hours i've spent throwing my creativity away in a way that ultimately gives that company profit when i could've been working on something to be proud of or to laugh at with others.

so tonight i've decided to cancel my subscription. i don't know how much better this will do in terms of my well-being or my motivation, or even if i'll stop altogether, but hey it's a start right? and yeah i recognize too that i've been part of the problem by using it like i've been. but im trying ok

[theemptyvoice]

This Sucks

This sucks.

Let’s get that name-drop out of the way right now. No coy little dance around it, or a big old wink, or a tired old actor looking for a paycheck looking directly into the audience’s soul as they say, “What are we, some sort of [REDACTED]?”

Can the people perpetually screwing up the DCU sue me for just saying Suicide Squad? Screw it. What is this, some sort of Suicide Squad? It’s a bad movie and a worse line and they should remember it, then go tongue Gunn’s butthole clean or whatever.

But that’s not really what this is about, though that can suck too. Despite popular belief (i.e. Donald Trump’s constant deflections back when we had to think about him every day and presumably still now, even now I don’t have to subject my eyes to his neon orange face), multiple things can suck and need fixing. Like the DCU and late-stage capitalism. My aching joints and climate change.

Like just about everything.

But you don’t need some anonymous stranger on the internet telling you the world sucks. You know that, or at least you should. If you don’t, why are you reading this Elon/Bezos/3rd- Culturally-Relevant-Rich-Person? I feel like this comment should be followed by a witty and biting remark about how terrible these people are, but what can I do that their constant need to flee from their mortality and the fact they don’t matter in any meaningful way hasn’t done already?

Run-on sentences, like running away from your problems (that problem just being one big one called the planet Earth).

I’m not bitter, we’re bitter. And angry, and disappointed, and all those other good dad-talk emotions. Hungry, I guess.

Segue. Not the scooter.

The world is having a bit of a… year, you might say. A few years. Riots, protests, climate chance, abortion, trans-rights, gay rights, book banning (isn’t it ironic Fahrenheit 451, THE book about banning & destroying books as a tool of fascism, is banned?), war, tensions rising, fusion energy (I mean, this one’s good), the rise of megacorporations (that’s the Amazon that’s still around), racists, antisemitism, pause for breath, re-commence panic attack, the growing junk field orbiting our planet (did you know about that one?), animals & insects going extinct… the list goes on.

Religious extremists. Sorry, just wanted to throw in that last one. Oh, and healthcare.

And here we are. I’m an asshole writing what probably is starting to sound suspiciously like a manifesto (Don’t worry, I’m not violent. I’m just a pretentious writer). You’re the asshole reading it. Or maybe you’re really nice, I don’t know.

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? Saying that’s probably a bit of an understatement, but that’s the gist. All these problems, no idea what to do, politicians sitting on their asses.

So few things seem to actually happen on a government level, so let’s start there. Politicians. Lazy, corrupt, but I’m being redundant. And unfair. They aren’t lazy.

Lazy people don’t fuck the lower class on a daily basis. Lazy people don’t pass horrible legislation to remove the free lube and condoms to make the fucking more comfortable. Lazy people don’t ship buses of refugees to a political rival’s house so they can try to fuck all the refugees at the same time to make do with time restraints.

Based on these points, you can see it’s not fair to call politicians lazy. Or stupid, for that matter. It’s actually a bit of a problem, because it makes it easy to underestimate them.

Oh, they’re incompetent. Oh, they don’t know what they’re doing.

The people who have a vested interest in money and the law-making ability to pass bills to create more money for themselves know exactly what they’re doing. When a bill gets pasted and you go, that’s dumb (and probably violates some basic principle of human rights), it’s not there because the senate, or the house, or whoever the heck is stupid. It’s because they know what they’re doing, they’re malicious and greedy enough to do it, and they genuinely do not care about you.

Let’s take abortion as an example. Show of hands, who believes Roe v. Wade was overturned on the principle of good Christian virtues or increasing individual state liberties?

Those of you who raised your hands, there’s not a kind way to say this. But there’s a less mean way, and I’ll try that. You’re not stupid for thinking that. You’re not stupid for hoping for and believing in a better version of humanity, and more specifically a better version of the people in power. But you are wrong. I wish you weren’t, in some ways.

Thought exercise: who does it affect the most?

If you said women, that is correct, but it’s not the whole story. Say, for instance, a woman in a state that has vilified (and more legally important, outlawed) abortions wants one. Well, that doesn’t really stop her, does it? She could just drive to a nearby state that allows it… and seriously, let’s not get into the Texas nonsense. Let’s keep it simple for the example.

Easy as pie, right?

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. A for effort.

There are so many reasons why that isn’t possible for a lot of people. Who are the people it isn’t possible for? Who can’t afford to take that time off work or to travel to another state?

And let me beat you off at the pass—I mean cut you off—poverty isn’t a choice. If it was, we’d all be rich.

Like, say, the rich people who made it so that ruling was overturned. The rich people who can afford to circumvent the shitshow they created without repercussion. Those who definitely do not believe in God ™, or practice God’s Virtues ™.

For them, religion is a tool. Believers are pre-primed to trust them and rally to their cause should they say the right few buzzwords and maybe say Hallelujah once or twice.

And because I don’t think religion should be free from criticism, here’s some shade to be thrown your way. Maybe don’t base your whole personality around a couple thousand-year-old book. Or if you must, temper it with the knowledge that it was translated by people with an agenda that doesn’t necessarily agree with yours. Tell you this much, the reason why there was a long stretch of time where only priests were allowed to read the bible and interpret what was God’s Word ™ isn’t because they were the only special little boys ordained by the holy light of literacy.

For those who get upset when Christianity is maligned, easy now. If your religion can’t withstand this basic scrutiny and the playground-level insults I have the capacity for, it ain’t worth much.

Life ain’t worth much these days either. Why doesn’t that bother religious folk more? Stepping partially back on the abortion train, I don’t mean your lip service paid to the Holy Church of Soothing Your Ego. I mean the people here, and now, struggling beside you to survive in a world that has only grown more hostile as of recently.

Now more than ever we need to band together. None of these issues can be solved alone, but the good news is that they can be solved.

Lotta people would have you believe they can’t be. It’s a fun little trick called learned helplessness. In less psychological terms, it’s despair. You feed people a steady diet of horrible news via doomscroll, break up the monotony with entertainment, then slowly watch as their desire to change the world for the better evaporates like your chances with that celebrity you have a parasocial relationship with.

Weaponized helplessness. For those who haven’t learned to be helpless, riot gear will work. Suppress the peaceful protests with violence and let the violent rioters right on in.

It boggles my mind sometimes why those in power aren’t more afraid of that. Just sitting there, terrified of the day the filthy masses below (their words, not mine) realize that society’s all in their heads. Maybe they are terrified of that. Maybe that’s why they crackdown so hard, work day and night to suppress and oppress and defeat. Maybe that’s why a lot of them want to flee to space (spacespacespacespacespace), even though the technology’s not up to snuff yet.

Maybe they are terrified. I hope they are, that thought makes me a little happier.

In this meaningless world, I’ll take it. A little spark of joy keeps you warm for longer than you’d think, ‘specially when it comes at the expense of those screwing you over.

Voice signing out, or whatever. Callsign. Catchphrase.

[evablu-ita]

Heeey, @stick-ball if my reasons are half-assed, please do make a counter argument to them.

I love these books, I write Fanfiction of these books. I'm also capable of criticising them and acknowledging that I can like something even when it's not well done.

The introduction of Thea as a love interest for Kevin at the lost moment is a fair criticism. She could've been foreshadowed in a number of ways, but she wasn't. She could've been included in the narrative, but she wasn't. We could've been showed whether Kevin cares about her, if he ever had a thought about her, but we weren't. We are literally left with "well, and Kevin has a partner too!" And that's the whole purpose of Thea's existence in these books.

Also, compering Arwen's reveal in the Return of the king with Thea in the King's men feels a bit excessive, but sure, it's kind of the same thing. We have this character that we've followed, known and loved for thousands of pages, and then at the last moment we find out that, oh, there's a gf btw, don't worry about her, she has nothing going on except him, and her existence is only worth mentioning when they get fucking married, let me tell you their story only in the appendix.

It's not by chance that the movies show you their relationship from the beginning, making you care about Arwen's character and her destiny, because that's more effective storytelling. And it's not by chance that people who've seen the movies first and then read the books will be disappointed about how this beautiful love story is completely disregarded in the original books.

Saying that someone famous and acclaimed did it, so it must be right it's not a counterargument.

I also complained about the deus ex-machina used to get rid of both of the villains, and yet deus ex-machinas were the escamotage writers used in all of the ancient classics we read in school. It's still not good narrative.

Again. I like this books. They do a lot of things marvelously, there's a good reason why they're so popular.

But this assumption that if you like something you need to be blind to any criticism is stupid.

"So please, please just say it as it is, aka it wasn't what you expected, instead of throwing shade at an author for not creating another generic, shitty, microwaved teen rated novel you would relate to."

No, I made fair criticism to the writing choices of these books, it doesn't mean I wanted to read a teen novel.

Also. Yes, the fact that Exy became an Olympic discipline in the span of one generation is unrealistic. I kept reading after this was explained in the first page because I was intrigued in Neil's character, the good outweighed the bad, it doesn't mean that the bad doesn't exist. There was literally no need for Kaylagh to be the inventor of the sport, she could've been a prominent figure of some sort, someone who revolutionized the sport, maybe the one that made mixed gendered team possible, in a sport that's been around for centuries. There are so many ways this inconsistency could've been fixed without taking anything away from the narrative and without forcing the reader to suspend their disbelief to the moon.

This idea that Nora made an unrealistic story in order to create a compelling one is only true for some of the plot points, like the fact that the Moriyama use the Exy matches as events to meet up in mafia related meeting is super stupid and unrealistic, but I'm willing to be sold on that, because the whole story falls apart if I don't.

The exy origin tho? Could've been fixed while keeping the meaning of the story intact.

Again. I'm allowed to criticize a story that I like, I can go on a whole 3 hours tangent about Doctor Who if you want.

Is it just me or was there a literal essay like post explaining why AFTG is badly written/ something of the equivalent and yet it’s the best ? Like like I want to know why everyone thinks it’s bad, like the explanations written down (or in this case typed out)

[munsnz]

Hii hope you're having a great week! If you feel like writing it i was thinking of a steve h x wheeler!reader, where they're having a dinner at the wheeler's and reader is nervous thinking it's going to be awkward and all but it actually goes pretty well.

LOVELY MESS — STEVE HARRINGTON

WARNINGS: anxiety, language??

PAIRING: Steve Harrington x GN! Wheeler! Reader

PSYCHOIE RADIO: What You Like — Wallows

L: Tysm for requesting anon!! This is actually something I’ve been wanting to write for a long ass time, and I’m so sorry this is a month late, I was In a rut for the third time this year, but finally, here it is!!

“Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay!” The kind-hearted guy, leaned towards you by the metal, old lockers, while you switched your books, shaking your head side to side, “Come on, whatever happened to Nance and I is over.”

Your eyes shifted to meet Steve Harrington’s, your 6-month boyfriend, who was also your younger sister’s ex boyfriend, Nancy Wheeler. Although she may have been younger, Nancy had it all, popularity, the smarts, and the looks, except you, the shadowed sister. Even your brother Mike Wheeler knew that Nance had outshined you, still being younger than you. That terribly tumbled apart as soon as Nancy confessed that she no longer loved Steve, telling him it was all bullshit, the words that hurt Steve those past nights.

You somehow got ahold of him, to get over the breakup as the two of you fought for the fate of the world along the group of kids, Mike’s friends, bringing you guys closer, leading up to confessing their feelings for one another.

“Steve I’d think it would be a bad idea.”

”How would it be a bad idea if we never tried it?” Steve cheekily grins, placing a warm kiss on your thin lips, smiling between them. You pushed his chest away with your hands, making him whine, “One more kiss come on! Or else we’ll have to go to the dinner!!”

You placed a notebook to block his wildly handsome face from kissing you again, giggling hysterically, “No, that’s my final answer.”

Steve had always been so fond about your family, the Wheelers, he knew Mike due to the previous events with the Mind Flayer and has met your mom when he was together with Nancy. But you still think it’d be awkward, you were going to bring your boyfriend, not your friend, nor Nancy’s boyfriend, but yours.

In denial, you always tried to not touch the subject, scared of it going wrong. As you saw Steve pout and cross his arms like a child, he mumbled, “I promised it’ll be ok, just let me go for once.”

”You already went to their house!” You squeaked as your palm hit his shoulder, slapping him playfully.

Steve raises his eyebrows, straightening his face while he sternly stares at you, “Yeah but I went as Nancy’s boyfriend, not yours right? So give me a shot honey.”

“I don’t know,” You started pacing along the hallway to get to class, knowing you were five minutes late, the weirdest thoughts flooding in. What if your parents don’t like the fact you’re with Steve? What if they prefer Nancy with him instead? What if-

Clearing his throat and whispering in your ear, Steve mumbled jokingly, “I know you’re overthinking Y/N.”

“Stop it!” You move a strand of hair from your face, clutching your books tighter, strolling away from him to the hallway of lockers, “What if it gets awkward? What if my parents don’t like the fact you’re with me!?”

”Can you at least think about it?” He shouts from afar, leaving his arms in the air, trying to get your attention while you tried your best to ignore him.

Soon enough, a teacher peeped their head out of the corresponding room towards the hallway for the source of disruption to find Steve’s tall figure continuing to get your attention, “Harrington! Off to class, you’re late!”

”Right! I’m sorry m’am,” Steve rapidly nods, zooming away to his Basketball period, where he knew for sure he’d get in trouble with the couch for being late. Still awaiting for his proposal to be answered with his loving mess, for a one of a kind dinner with your family, the Wheelers.

”Mike I swear to god you better not embarrass me!” You rush down the rug stairs, fixing your hair as you tucked it behind your ear, chasing your younger brother down. After Steve’s persuasion driving you nuts for that same day you both talked, you finally gave in to bring him over on a Thursday night under one condition, he wasn’t allowed to embarrass you or himself, just to keep things proper, and not awkward between your family.

As the days grew closer to the date of the dinner, the more anxious you got to the point you couldn’t bare to see Steve, keeping you and your thoughts to yourself for the past weeks. It was simple, a simple gathering with your family and boyfriend.

What could go wrong?

Everything and anything. From your parents making you look like a fool to be going out with your sister’s ex to Steve making a terrible impression on them although he’s met them already. You weren’t so logical, you were scared, not nervous but scared. What if this whole dinner would be an awkward disaster full of embarrassment and inconvenience?

But here you were, getting ready for the small event taking place in your home, chasing your brother to shut him up due to his witty comments. Now shoving your little sister Holly softly on the side to clear Mike’s path, he taunted, “Well I’m not the one kissing the pillow thinking it’s Steve! Mwah mwah!”

”Thats not true, Mike!”

You tried to reach to stop Mike from speeding through the kitchen but before you could make any other move, Mrs. Wheeler scolds at you two, “No running inside the house!”

”Sorry mom!” Both you and Mike loudly shout, slowing down your pace, suddenly catching up to Mike by dragging the collar of his blue striped polo.

As he squealed in pain and angst, you tackle him to the couch, tickling his sides on the soft brown cushion, “I got you! Now say it! Surrender!”

”Never!” His high-pitched giggled filled the cozy room, squirming under you, trying to free from your grip. Another wave of the tingles on his ribs were coming back, your fingers moving on his back.

You continued to make him laugh hysterically, lowering your voice to mimicking a villain both of you once watched on tv during a weekend night, “You must proclaim yourself as a liar! Or ye shall face the consequences!”

“I will not surrender-“

Instantly after the sharing of laughter being held by the siblings, you heard the rhythmic chime from the doorbell, Holly was making a fuss about her lack of apple juice in her sippy cup as Nancy tried to leave the porcelain plates on the clothed table in the dining room. You and Mike frantically got up from the couch after your mother was pulling you away apart, “Hey, he’s here!”

Shit.

You knew for a fact your loved one was here, an awful feel of unease aroused, making you tense unlike the past few moments before you heard the doorbell. Steve Harrington was here, at your door, for dinner with your family.

Gulping nervously, you hurried to get the door, but surprisingly Mrs. Wheeler got there before you could stand up from the comfortable couch, your heart pacing at an unstoppable speed, ruffling your top. Mrs. Wheeler opened the wooden door to find that same familiar, attractive face, both Mike and you peering on the side, roses in his hands.

”Mrs. Wheeler!” Steve kindly greets, handing her the bouquet of roses at the door, making her receive them with a soft grin.

“Hey there Steve- oh!” Mrs. Wheeler yelps when Mike harshly shoved you next to your mother, bumping shoulders with her, goofily grinning in front of him.

”Hi Steve,” You childly mimicked, but realizing the fool you made yourself look like, regretting your stupid action you made in front of your boyfriend.

As your mom signaled the brunette to walk inside the welcoming room, Steve lightly pecked your cheek, slightly bringing you closer to himself from the side as both of you solemnly walked inside the warm room. Watching the two of you, Mike made smooching and kissing noises behind you, kicking him in the shin, squeaks of pain coming out of your younger brother’s mouth in order for him to shut up.

And right as you saw Nancy slightly wave at him while walking off rapidly to find Holly for dinnertime, a sense of insecurity rushed in you. You leisurely shifted away from him, his eyes darting towards you knowing that something was up while Mrs. Wheeler rushed to the kitchen for the home cooked meal. Only 5 minutes in of the gathering and you were an anxious mess already, quietly panicking if anything else so terrible would happen, your fingers tapping the side of your thighs where they stood upon you.

“You know you can sit down right?” A gentle voice, your sister’s voice perked in the silence telling Steve. Nancy holding the little one in her arms, moved to sit Holly down as Mike lounged in the wooden chair almost staring you down jokingly to see your funny expressions.

Steve whips his head around, chuckling softly, pulling out a chair for you to sit in, “Yeah, this is why this is a dinner Nancy. You know, for sitting down and eating?”

A silence formed between the five of you, later on creating an awkward melody of chuckles being shared between Nancy and Steve, then turning away from each other, leaving this pit in your stomach at such uncomfortable state. Thoughts. Terrible thoughts rolled in meanwhile you sat which Steve offered to give you, Mike’s eyes widening while drinking the glass of milk being on the top of the table to try his best not to giggle.

Afterwards, Mrs. Wheeler interrupted the awfully weird silence with a fake, cheerful tone you knew wouldn’t be her usual self, carrying in the large plate with roasted chicken. She strictly ushered you and Nancy to bring in the rest of the side dishes from the kitchen out to the dining room as Mike and Steve chatted a little before your father strolled in to greet your boyfriend.

“Chill out Y/N,” Nancy places her thin hand on your left arm calmly, you turned your head around you understand what she was saying, “You seem tense, it’s okay.”

You scoffed at her comment jokingly, placing the bowl of greens onto the table when Nancy put the dish with fresh mashed potatoes as well. All of you took a seat, ready to feast, Steve clearing his throat to speak up, “Thank you so much Mrs. Wheeler for inviting me and for this wonderful dinner.”

“No problem Steve, ever since we met you with Nancy, you’ve been a great guy,” Your mother softly smiled, but changed her expressions once you shot your eyes towards her, “Anyways, enjoy the meal.”

Mumbles of thank yous and your welcomes being shared between one another, beginning to eat the delicious food for the evening. Shakily, you grabbed onto the silver fork, stabbing it into the chicken to eat it, the sound of plates moving around and cups being sipped, you decided to speak up, “Steve has been hanging out with Mike lately, they’re getting alone quite well.”

Your mother’s eyes widened, “Oh really? That seems like fun, having an older brother figure must be pretty cool knowing that Mike has grown up with a house full of girls right?”

Caught off guard from his meal, Mike hesitantly nodded while he falsely smiled, peering over to Steve for an agreement, “Yeah, Mike might be a little trouble with the rest of the boys, but he’s fun to be with at times.”

”A little trouble,” Your brother repeated jokingly under his breath, applying a mischievous look on his face, leaning back onto his chair, “I don’t think Y/N and Steve studying their human anatomy is-“

Before any reactions were being made from the regrettable comment your annoying brother made, Nancy slapped her hand across his mouth to shut up before he said anymore weird nonsense about you and your significant other. Steve worriedly glanced towards you with a beet red tinted face, almost wishing your mom hadn’t heard him while you stuffed your face trying to hide your expression.

“Michael what was that?” Mrs. Wheeler shot up a look towards your brother, laying her fork down with a confused face, “Human anatomy?”

In a stuttering mess, you tried to bring up some lame excuse to cover up along with Steve, you were sick to your core, knowing the stupidity that Mike claimed to be. It could be that your parents would say something terrible, you were flushed in multiple shades of red. You knew this dinner was even more terrible than expected, now your brother was making you and Steve look like a couple of fools, your hands sweating. Nancy chimed in to help between your idiotic stumbling, “It was this code name Mike used with the party and them.”

“Mmm yeah totally!” Steve wearily smiled, readjusting the hem of his red blouse he wore, watching you nod in response, a wave of relief washing inside you, “It’s the most oblivious things that are the most secretive, right Mike?”

Both you and Nancy darted a death glare towards the black-haired boy, who nodded rapidly under the threat of the siblings, “Yeah, Dustin was the one who made it up.”

”Kids these days,” Your father, Mr. Wheeler mumbles, slicing his part of the chicken in half with the butter knife as he shook his head.

Mrs. Wheeler humbly agreed, you mouthed a silent “thank you” towards Nancy’s direction, giving you a kind thumbs up later to kick Mike’s shin under the table, a quiet yelp escaping his lips for the second time. Later, feeling your hands gripping ever so tightly onto Steve’s large ones, being placed on your shaky leg.

Nancy brought up a conversation about an upcoming school event for the seniors at Hawkins High, Steve being able to catch up on the conversation. The mood was slightly calmer than it were before, things lessened up a bit as your harsh grip softened, feeling more balmy. Your boyfriend smiled, while looking off to your mom and dad who were intrigued by the conversation you were all having. Peace at last, worries washed away, it was okay.

Giggles and words were filled the large home, dessert was already handed out, Steve was on a roll to making your parents life along with your siblings, everything had merrily turned out great except the part where your mother talked about your embarrassing stories when you were little. This wasn’t so bad after all, Steve was definitely correct for once.

“Okay I have one more joke,” Your boyfriend sighed happily after the amount of laughter shared, your cheeks almost hurt from smiling too much. Steve set down his spoon then proceeded, “What did the grape say when they squished it?”

Everyone on the table shrugged, waiting for the hilarious response from him, Mike being close to burst into laughter before he said anything until Steve cleared his throat to answer, “Nothing, it just whined a little, get it?”

Once the joke was heard, your family surrounded the room with laughter, Mrs. Wheeler happily sighed after catching her breath, getting up to take the dessert plates back to the kitchen, picking one up at a time. Meanwhile your father and sister chuckled, you smiled like a freak towards Steve who was sitting next to you, holding your hand.

“See? I told you you shouldn’t have worried about his,” He whispers softly, giving you a light kiss, smiling as well, “You’re a lovely mess.”

You smacked his shoulder, earning a laugh from him, “I know I know, but at least I’m your lovely mess right?”

”Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Both Nancy and Mike, your siblings chanted with cheeky smiles plastered on their face, being in front of you and overhearing your conversation. Steve leaned in and shut his eyes to peck your lips, suddenly you placed a napkin in front of you to avoid him, catching him off guard. Such small act brought your siblings to laugh at him, he shook his head playfully, sniggering along. Maybe this wasn’t so bad, this brought all of you together, it was okay, no, better than okay. I guess it was just Steve’s lovely mess.

tags — @samiyamuntaha @thepowerstoner @ughgclden

masterlist — request open

[slasher-instinct]

Mute Dubiety

Asa Emory (The Collector)/Reader- OC, Third POV with no physical description. 5.2K

Breaking into a potential victim's home goes awry for Asa, but not in anyway he's ever prepared for.

Contains: Female gendered reader, dubious consent, stalking, mentions of violence, mentions of insects, biting, oral sex, creampie

AO3 Link

“Ugh, look at its stupid body with all its stupid legs.”

“Bugs are gross.  Can’t believe people actually spend time pinning all these things and like it, what kind of loser does that?”

“I don’t know, let’s go back to the paintings and find some with tits.”

Sloan could hardly believe her roommates, “you guys are dumb.  Bugs are fuckin’ cool.”

“Yeah, is that what does it for ya?  Bugs get you going?”

All she wanted was for them to have a nice Friday in Midtown and see the new exhibit at the museum...But Billy and Stu couldn’t act like adults for 10 minutes.  The two got a little too drunk at lunch and they made it to the museum near closing time, leaving them as the only ones currently in the special exhibit.  An enormous and detailed entomology collection spanning from scorpions to butterflies and everything in between.

“No, but it’s a popular theory that Cleopatra created the first vibrator by using bees trapped in a gourd.  Insects have been used as aphrodisiacs for centuries, Sexual Entomology is literally a thing.”

“What like people putting beetles up their ass instead of hamsters?”

The three laughed like middle schoolers in the empty (or so they thought) exhibit moving on from dragonflies to ants.  Completely oblivious to the lone figure standing nearly right next to the group on the other side of the display case.  Beetles up the ass Asa hadn’t thought about that one.

“Oh!  Like these ants!  In Europe they would grind up ants and mix it with oil, rub it all over themselves like an erotic foreplay massage.”

Next came a rather impressive collection of wasp species. “And these!  Holy shit, men would take the ash from wasp nests and drink it with wine for better cum.  I’m talkin’ shooting absolute ropes.”

“Shiiit, bet they sell dried ants on Amazon.” Stu said, elbowing the others.

Closing time ticked closer and closer which meant that soon the sounds and smells of the hotel would replace all these “people”.  Asa’s face felt too exposed without his mask.  He didn’t normally work in public areas of the museum, but most of these pieces were on loan from his private collection and he didn’t trust the blundering security team on the cusp of a weekend.  Especially if these were the kinds of patrons browsing- loud and obnoxious, the two men making jerk off motions to one another each time the woman mentioned a factoid.  Who repeated the gesture back at them in turn.

Her knowledge, niche and inappropriate though it may be, ignited an interest in him.  As did the sound of her laughter coming out in full, head tilting bursts that made it very easy to imagine how she sounded screaming.  The other two looked strong and able to hold their own, all three were viable candidates for collecting.   

“But these babies-” Sloan moved to displays of small emerald green beetles, “these were the kings of aphrodisiacs!  Spanish flies were used all over the world, the Romans and Egyptians practically did lines of dried up flies for orgies.”

“Cantharidin.”

To his amusement all three jumped back and screeched like children when he spoke and stepped out from where he’d been observing to continue, “cantharidin is the substance you’re referring to, it’s secreted in the shells of many species in the Meloidae family.  Apart from...those activities it was also used as a cure-all and poison in high enough doses.” 

Hmm cantharidin poisoning; he was going to have a fun weekend with all these new ideas from the little tour group.

“Shit, I am so sorry!  I thought we were the only ones in the exhibit.”

“Christ dude, who the fuck are you sneaking around like that?  We weren’t touching anything.”  Billy grumbled.

“I’m the curator of this special exhibit.” 

Fuck just kill me now. Hot embarrassment ran from her face down to her toes.  The man seemingly came out of the ether to surprise them and announce his presence with expertise.  Suburban Handsome came to her mind when she took in his appearance, soft voice matching smile lines and a well groomed appearance.  The posture is what threw her for a loop though; legs set wide apart in what she always referred to as a fighter’s stance, ready at any moment.  Why did an entomologist need to stand like a predator?

“The pieces are beautiful.”  Sloan said with a smile to try and push past the awkwardness.

“Thank you, most are from my personal collection.”

“Holy shit, that’s amazing.”

“Do you study entomology?  Your tour was certainly informative.”

She laughed, “God no.  I’m not gentle enough for people let alone bugs.”

Before he got a chance to reply the intercom clicked on announcing that the museum would be closing in a few minutes and for everyone to please make their way to the exit.

Stu tugged at her arm, “finally!  Let’s head over to HopCat and get shitfaced.  You’re DD tonight.” 

“I can’t take you guys anywhere I swear.  Uh, sorry again for the noise, but I hope you have a good weekend.  Love the collection.”

“Stop flirting with the bug guy and let’s go.”

“Oh my god shut up!”  Sloan hissed as they walked away, tossing back another apologetic smile and wave.

He offered a nod in return.

By the sound of it they planned on staying out most of the night and Asa did not have the time to track.  No matter, there were other ways to find out where they lived.  Sloan unintentionally trapped the three of them in The Collector’s web with her useless wit and charm.  Once his interest was peaked he had to see it through- they were good as dead. 

---

After a few weeks of stalking Asa was ready to pounce.  The group lived in a much more urban area than he normally dealt with, a lot of close neighbors.  Two of them worked from home streaming which meant no time to get in and set up traps; would need to leave an especially violent scene to make up for that.  He chose a bitterly cold Saturday night for collecting and planned on stripping the one he picked before shoving them into the trunk to shiver.  However, no amount of planning could ever factor in everything.

The moment he parked across the street an alert sounded on his phone signaling that perimeters inside of the hotel had been broken.  Video confirmed that his newest addition finally figured out how to get out of the room...but was making much more progress than it should be.  Asa’s knuckles shown white against the steering wheel as he contemplated- stay and risk one getting loose or take care of it now?  He would be watching the house for a few hours anyway, the lights were on and all three tended to be night owls.  No harm in taking care of something this important and then coming back to complete his task.

“You sure you don’t wanna come?”

“Yes, last time I went to one of Sid’s parties I woke up in a coat closet. I’m about to go to bed anyway.”

“Lock the door behind us, that serial killer’s still on the loose.”  

“Oh yeah Stu, the killer that’s been going after families in nice suburban houses is gonna break into our shitty rental.”

He zipped up his jacket and rolled his eyes, “I take offense to that!  Just because I found our couch on the side of the road doesn’t mean our house is shitty.”

“That’s right, it’s shitty cause Sloan lives here.”  Billy added.

“At least my daddy doesn’t have to pay my half of the bills every other month cause I keep losing at Call Of Duty.”

“Fuck you, you poor bitch.”

“Love you too, Bill.  You two be safe, text me if you can’t find a ride home and I’ll come get you.”

Last minute party plans took Stu and Billy deeper into Detroit leaving her home alone.  Fucking finally.  She loved both of her idiot roommates like brothers but living with two equally obnoxious and loud guys meant quiet nights like this were few and far between.  So with a hot cup of tea in hand Sloan made her way through the house turning off lights as she went.

“Ugh, Stu.”  She grumbled opening his door to flip the switch off only to see light pouring out from Billy’s room, “God and they wonder why our electric bill is so high.”

His light got turned off as well but she didn’t bother walking across Billy’s room to turn off the colorful strips he kept on for streaming, “let him bitch about the strips burning out again, I’m not their damn mom.” 

The windows of the van began to fog from Asa’s bated breath when the lights ticked off one by one.  All of their vehicles were there and everything remained just as it should be.  He gave the darkness time to sink in then advanced, slipping through the fence to observe.  Open blinds enticed him to a show being put on by the woman who first awoke his interest.  In his prowling he found she lived a fairly mundane life compared to her roommates: work, eat, sleep, repeat with the occasional night of partying or guesting on one of the men’s streams.

Asa had watched her masturbate before, but as if she knew tonight was special, this time was different.  Instead of bundled up under the covers with her vibrator she sat on her bed fully nude above a thin, body length mirror.  It left nothing to the imagination as she rode a sex toy suction cupped to the mirror, ass bouncing and hands fisted into covers from the intensity.  Little moans filtered through the window and his body responded immediately, cock aching in the confines of the black work pants.  Soon a hand shot up to rub vigorously at her clit and the sight of her cunt pulsing around that toy brought a gravely moan to the back of his throat.  

 No.  Focus.  He chided, eyes continuing to roam over her soft frame when she stood on shaking legs to clean up.  Moving on, The Collector slipped through an unlocked basement window and moved into the home noting its messy state.  The first door he came to happened to be the tall one who called bugs gross; Asa had a special jar of fire ants just for him in the duffle bag.  Yet to his annoyance the room stood empty, the same went for the bathroom and living room and kitchen.  He growled and opened the other roommate’s door knowing he’d find it empty as well.  A month’s worth of planning ruined because his newest addition didn’t want to play by the rules.  Asa pushed down his anger and breathed I’ll take my time with the girl until they get back then choose. 

Maybe if Sloan didn’t have such an exhaustive climax she would have noticed the door creak open to prepare for the gloved hand that clamped down around her face.  The hand drug her out of bed and to her knees, in the light seeping through her open blinds she made out the glint of a knife in the intruder’s other hand.  Slowly, like she were in a horror movie, Sloan refocused her gaze up the large body to his face.  Numbing terror flooded her system at the grotesque mask and black, reflective contacts boring into her fucking soul.  Her face was released in favor of gripping a handful of her tshirt yet no orders came.

“I’m broke.  I’ve got $80 in my bottom drawer and a shitty laptop covered in stickers that you can maybe pawn for $150-”

“Shhh.”

The hush sounded soothing as if trying to tell her everything would be ok.  Sloan took that as confirmation that the guy just wanted to rob them and the knife was only a formality.  

“I’m trying to tell you that you got the wrong fuckin’ house, dude.  You leave now and I won’t even call the cops, ok?  I’m tired and just wanna go back to bed.”

Nothing.  Just those beetle eyes staring down at her.

“Jesus Christ, what do you want?” 

The anger was rising in his chest again.  This is not how it should be going, she should be terrified and begging for answers or yelling at him to get out.  The girl sounded bored, staring back at him directly with hard eyes that told him immediately she would not be a viable option for collecting.  There were not many specimens like her but Asa knew the type: stubborn to a fault and bad in captivity.  If given the option it would kill itself rather than be broken or fully submissive.  Dragging out screams would take every trick he had and no amount of pain could bring forth begging.  These creatures were more trouble than they were worth.

“Look, either take our shit and leave or kill me, I don’t have all night.”

The intruder shook her hard for speaking out of turn and Sloan grabbed onto whatever she could to keep up right, which happened to be him.  Hands shot up to grip his hips, fingers hooking into the pants when he did it again and she fell forward into his thighs.  Her cheek pressed against something and he jerked her back as if she burned him.  After a few seconds her eyes adjusted and Sloan realized he was hard, the line of his dick obvious along his upper thigh.

“You watched me didn’t you, you fucking pervert?”

He snarled at the insult and the sound struck Sloan right down to the bone.

“I bet you’re not even a thief.  Just some peeping tom virgin-”

Uh oh bad choice of words, apparently the question of his sexual prowess is not up for debate because his fist wraps around her jaw.  Just what she needed- a sensitive intruder.  Out of the corner of her eye Sloan sees him adjust the knife in his hand and she knows immediately that if something doesn’t happen he is going to start hurting her.  Despite the danger looming overhead the sight of his confined cock twitching made her mouth water.

“Ok, ok that was rude of me, you’re the one in charge here I get that.  Just tell me what you want.”

The slightest tilt of his head came as the only answer, his silence starting to become more terrifying than the mask/contacts.  Basically toying with her, but when Sloan dug deeper into the waistband of his pants her fingers brushed bare skin and he jerked away from her.  Either the guy was touch averse or so completely unused to it that the sensation came as a surprise.  Whatever the reason, Sloan focused solely on the fact that touch got a more powerful response than berating. 

“What?  Too shy to ask?” She said with just a hint of teasing to cover up the fact she had absolutely no fucking clue where she was going with this.

The tilt of his head increased and the knife hand lowered, Sloan imagined confusion flash behind his mask. To relieve some of the tension he kept on her jaw she shifted on her knees getting close enough to smell him.  Nitrile, disinfectant, and mint scented soap wafted up from the thin strip of exposed wrist, so clean; the combination had no right to be this intoxicating.  When her palm slipped down to grope him the intruder went rigid and as the grip on her jaw faltered Sloan found herself leaning forward.  Heat radiated from his cock warming up her lips and face as she pressed them lightly along the head followed quickly by her teeth raking up the fabric.

“You smell so good.”  Sloan mumbled into him, surprised at her own sudden hunger did she want to do this?  Did the mask and his silence make it better?  The whole thing scratched an itch she never tried to playout with any partner and fuck not being in control for a second felt fantastic.

It had been a very long time since a specimen surprised him, not because of the apparent offer though.  Oh no, he’d heard all kinds of pleas regarding sexual favors during his time.  Often they were screamed in desperation to get the pain to stop or presented as a bargaining chip in the beginning.  Yet this one actually touched him and- a near purr rumbled at the sensation of her bare fingers pulling him free.  Asa tried moving his hips away to create some distance between them and get himself under control, but...but…

“Fuck, you’re thick.”

Not bothering to glance up Sloan wrapped her lips around him immediately earning a startled growl in return.  His cock fit the rest of his body perfectly- thick and heavy, the veins pulsing along her tongue as if it were on the edge of bursting any second.  Still no words, only a mix of predatory sounds that just made it better.  Finally, a man that knew to just shut the fuck up oh god she REALLY fucking wanted this.  He began petting her head so lovingly it felt like they’d done this a thousand times.  The physical encouragement pushed her to take him deeper, her throat clenching violently at the sudden intrusion to entice a real moan from him.

The knife must have been put away because his other hand engulfs the side of her neck and jaw, thumb stroking her plump and stretched cheek.  Sloan looked up to find him completely enraptured, his full lips parted and chest heaving like he was overwhelmed.  With all the physical praise and much needed shock of fear his appearance continued to give her Sloan keened around his cock.  The high pitch moan sent a vibration through him and all too quickly his body seized, the hand stroking her neck flew up to the wall for balance hard enough to leave a sizable dent in the drywall.  

She kept sucking while he came into her mouth in body racking pulses, enough for her to have to swallow after each one or risk being choked by his cum.  His knees buckled for just a moment and then she was being pushed back onto her ass and away from him.  He readjusted quickly while they stared at one another neither knowing what to do next.

“I want you to fuck me.”  It came out of Sloan’s mouth before she could stop it and seemed to break whatever limbo they were in.

The intruder abruptly grabbed the small duffle near him and walked out without acknowledging her again.  She listened to his heavy footsteps echo through the empty house followed by the click of the front door.  The sound brought her off her ass as she rushed out to bolt it behind him.

“Oh god-” Sloan heaved into the kitchen sink when the salty, bitter aftertaste settled on her tongue and she realized the full weight of what just happened. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

By the time she got done crying on the phone with Stu begging them to come home Asa was halfway back to the hotel also trying to process what happened.  He lost control of the situation so completely all he could do is leave, sickening mix of anger and embarrassment causing him to sweat in the freezing van.  How could he let it get away from him?  Effect him in such a way that he allowed her to do as she pleased?  Even with the possibility she initiated contact primarily out of survival there’s no denying the enthusiasm.  You smell so good echoed in his head Fuck you’re thick his used cock gave a halfhearted twitch and he groaned.  He could see what all the fuss was about now.

---

I want you to fuck me 

Asa ripped the wing of a Phyllium Siccifolium he was pinning in one of the museum labs and had to take an early lunch or he may have caused a scene.  One week since the incident and her voice continued to haunt him.

I want you to fuck me 

The scalpel dug too deep into the specimen’s thigh cutting the femoral artery and rendering it dead within minutes.  This time he did let his anger get the better of him, decimating the corpse to such a degree that it could not be used in his collection at all.  A complete waste.

I want you to fuck me

His finger slipped along the trigger mechanism of a trap being set up nearly taking off his own hand in the process.  The machete he rigged left a harsh mark in the wood floor that would not go unnoticed by the family when they came back home.  Asa was not used to making mistakes like these, or at all really, and did not process it well.  He kicked at the trunk in passing hard enough for the bait inside to start crying again.  

I want you to fuck me

It’d been a month and the whisper of her voice in his head did not decrease rather became more persistent.  Apparently not happy with simply plaguing his everyday life the voice now started bleeding into his dreams.  Interrupting the repetitive, mundane nightmares for ones that startle him awake. 

“That’s it.”  Asa ripped off his blankets after waking up in a cold sweat at midnight, he had work in the morning and this was getting out of hand.  He’d just kill her, that would solve it.

Both dogs whined expectantly when they saw him in the black sweater and mask in hand, eager to get out and do what he trained them for.  Asa rubbed his hand along the top of their kennels as he passed on his way for the duffle.

“Not tonight, girls.”

The household really beefed up their security after the incident, a whooping single deadbolt and relocked basement window.  Her light was the only one off but he didn’t worry about that as he popped the window latch and slipped in.  Muffled yelling came from her roommates, both of them on the losing team of an important match it seemed.  Neither would pay any attention and if all went to plan they’d find her dead in the morning...or a few days later knowing these two.

Sloan lay curled up buried under a floral print duvet with a handmade quilt layered underneath, fast asleep and warm.  Only she wasn’t warm anymore?  Not bothering to open her eyes, she reached down feeling for covers and found an arm instead.  She tried jerking up and out of bed, but got held down with a familiar hand covering her mouth.  Black eyes peered down through that fucking mask, the sight bringing tears to Sloan’s eyes.

He put a finger to his lips signaling for her to stay quiet and she nodded quickly in understanding.  No drawn knife, they were still strapped to his sides and the duffle lay out of reach behind him.  

“Do you have that in different colors?  Think it was a lighter shade of black last time.”  She whispered falling back to her coping mechanism of substituting fear for humor.

The intruder tilted his head gracing her with a hungry smile that caused the tears building to spill down the corners.  Gloved fingers reached out to brush at the wet streaks and pull her off the bed by her neck.  Arousal fought fear for the forefront emotion, winning out when he began to pet her face like before.  His mouth pressed into a hard line as if deep in thought, figuring out what to do with her.  Stay ahead, keep him distracted those knives could come out at anytime.

“What do you want?”  Sloan pawed at his muscular thighs and when he made no move to stop her she rested her face on one looking up at him with wide eyes, telling herself she was just playing submissive.  That she didn’t have this deep craving to be dominated and relinquish control.

No answer except pats across the top of her head as he let her lean.

“Still too shy to ask?”

Not wanting to push like last time Sloan rubbed her face into his thigh instead and took a risk by closing her eyes.  For several blissful moments they remained still; arms wrapped around his leg and him petting her gently.  The calm ended when both of his hands grabbed her head pulling her to his crotch in an attempt to show what he wanted.  Instead of initiating it Sloan sat back on her heels to look up at him expectantly and let her wet tongue lull out.  Without undoing his belt the intruder took his aching cock out through the zipper and stroked several times.  By the way his body quaked at the self stimulation Sloan concluded that her previous insult may have been a little too on the nose.  Somehow that just made everything hotter.

The intruder kept his hands on either side of Sloan’s jaw/neck rubbing circles into her cheeks as she sucked his cock.  Not willing to think about how wrong this all was she lost herself in the familiar taste and movement, grinning when he let out a particularly rasping moan as his tip hit the back of her throat.  Would he stay mute if she got him to fuck her?  Despite his shuttering state he remained very on guard and rooted to the spot when she tried to maneuver him to sit on the bed.  He pulled her off, accusation singing in the few features she could see.

“Sit.  Please?  Let me take care of you.”

He responded with a full body tremor at the offer and kept hold of her head tugging her along as he sat.  Sloan flicked her eyes up at him periodically to gauge his reaction and find out what he liked.  His grip tightened yet he never bucked up or pushed her further, pretty gentlemanly for some guy that broke into their house not once but twice.  The drastic difference between his actions and touches riled her up more than it already had.  She shimmied out of the shorts she wore for sleep and took her mouth off of him only to lick a distracting stripe up his cock from base to tip, succeeding in getting his head to tilt back in rapture.  

While he was distracted she crawled into his lap quickly, not surprised that the intruder went on the defense again with a hand around her throat.  Copying his actions from last time she shushed him in an attempt to show that everything would be ok.  It made her feel predatory to push herself onto someone like this without verbal consent, but he was the aggressor so she couldn’t be at fault...Right?

“Shh,” Sloan slipped her hand between them to hold him steady as she sunk down and repeated, “let me take care of you.”

The pressure on her throat vanished so he could hold her by both hips instead when she began moving.  Every pulse of his cock inside her echoed the trembling, iron grip and groans into her skin.  The fabric of his mask a disgusting mix of rubber foam and sandpaper as he drug it along her neck and then bare shoulder when he suddenly pulled off her baggy shirt.  Nails scraped down her back and up along the curves of Sloan’s soft hips and stomach to her breasts.

“Oh, fuck.”  The sensation of nitrile covered thumbs rolling over her nipples was new and unusually good.

Teeth interrupted the pleasure in two rapid bites hard enough to leave angry indents that would no doubt bruise deeply for weeks to come.  Sloan moved faster in response to the pain, angling her hips so that the head of his cock brushed that perfect spot each time she brought her ass down.  Being so close and on the same level with him confirmed just how big he was; wide, well rounded shoulders fit perfectly in her palm.  Showing off the immense strength behind his build the intruder wrapped both arms around her and leaned forward till Sloan was nearly parallel to the floor.  The first few thrusts were hesitant then suddenly sharp, bordering on violent.

She couldn’t stop this even if she wanted to and the realization both frightened and excited her.  Being used like a cock sleeve by someone in a mask that she didn’t know brought Sloan close to the edge sobbing at the tension building up, deliriously wanting that release.  He tightened his arms at the pathetic noise hard enough to squeeze the breath out of her as his movements stuttered.

 With no way to stop what was about to happen Sloan melted into it instead. “Do it, fucking cum in me.  Please, please-” The rest of her sentence melted into unintelligible pleading when he filled her.  Warmth combined with his continued thrusts to ride out his release triggered her own.

Thank god he had such a death grip because Sloan went completely limp unable to do much but listen to his ragged breathing.  Several taps on the shoulder brought her back to the real world as a warning that he was about to move.  Before she could get up first the intruder turned laying her down on the bed keeping their hips flush and legs tangled.  Sloan let her arms and legs relax and fall to the mattress, nervous that he wouldn’t like it if she were clingy.  After her breathing evened out and the post-sex glow warmed her cheeks she chanced a look at him.

The reflective, creepy wide eyes examined her as if she were a creature on display.  A smear of red across his mouth told Sloan that he most likely broke skin when he bit her.  What worried her more than the blood staining his lips was the fact that he made no move to leave.

“You tryin’ to cuddle or something?”  She teased brushing fingertips just under his bottom lip and into the mask’s ripped curve.

His skin proved to be soft with a hint of stubble and suddenly Sloan got the urge to find out if his lips were soft too.  Came this far already might as well risk it all, right?  Riding out the burst of bravery she leaned up and kissed him fully prepared for it to go horribly wrong.  At first he didn’t respond at all so she fell back to the bed with an apologetic smile inwardly cringing at what she’d done.

“Sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

Soft clicks emanated from him like purrs, vibrating in his chest as he pressed their lips together again all while making sure he didn’t crush her.  Her room spun at the kiss like Sloan was a fucking teenager again and every new touch left her lightheaded.  He finally pulled out when their lips separated to fix himself and stand, watching his cum leak out of her to stain the sheets.  

And then just like last time he was gone, leaving nothing behind but a mess and the smell of eucalyptus aftershave on her fingers.

[voiceless-terror]

I mean, I don’t believe in the predictive power of dreams, obviously, but still, it’s a deeply unsettling thing to find. I had Tim look into it, as I don’t entirely trust the others not to have written it as a practical joke and slipped it into the archives. - Episode 11, Dreamer

Jon stares down at the paper in his hands.

He’s had many an unkind thought towards Gertrude, his predecessor, the woman responsible for this mess and the current bane of his existence. She’s been the topic of most of his grumbling as he sorts through piles of nonsense and decaying cardboard boxes. He’s got no love lost for her, but that doesn’t mean he’s happy she’s dead. Or, specifically, to have a statement apparently predicting it through the medium of some prophetic dream. Ridiculous. He wants to feel detached, unaffected, but he can’t help the sickly sense of dread that creeps up his spine and lingers in his throat. 

It was your face and the expression upon it was far more fearful than any I had seen in eight years of wandering this twilight city.

Jon doesn’t know Antonio Blake and has no reason to believe him. But he’s known something’s wrong for a long time now.

He’s never admitted it aloud, never within his assistant’s hearing range, but he can feel it, as foolish as that sounds. This miasma of wrong, of being watched, of becoming...something else, that happens every time he records a statement. Despite the academic detachment he aspires to, he does attempt to empathize with each statement-giver and get into their mindset. But what he’s doing here...it’s different. He can visualize it so perfectly, the terror in their words sticking in his throat and setting his own heart pounding, as if he were the one experiencing it and not just regurgitating it to an ancient recorder. He’s always had an ‘overactive imagination,’ as his grandmother would say, but this is relentless in its manifestation. The fear is real, not imagined. Each statement draws him further and further away from the safety he used to cling to, where the only real cases were few and far between and the most sinister things lurking out there in the world were books and the monsters within them.

And as much as he wants to linger on the false accounts and take comfort in tearing them apart, his hands automatically seek the real ones, the right ones. It’s frightening, the ease with which he finds them nowadays. Perhaps he’s a better archivist than he thinks. 

She died and you’ll be next, something whispers to him. He’s being dramatic, as he’s wont to do, but it feels true. Every statement that doesn’t record correctly, every follow-up he has to qualify with an ‘I would dismiss this, but-’ is starting to add up. His nights have become restless. He often lies awake regretting that he ever took this job, that he left the relative safety of research for a position he’s not sure how to fill, his only reassurance Elias’s occasional emails that he’s ‘moving in the right direction,’ whatever that means.

Jon assumed he’d be more removed from the dangerous aspects of the job that research entailed- following up, going to locations, field work. And it’s true, he has assistants to do that for him now. Dependable, for the most part. And while he should feel safe in his tiny office with nothing but dust and paper and cobwebs (good lord, the cobwebs) he feels more unsettled and exposed than ever. He once joked he’d die of old age before getting the archives in order. But now a stroke sounds much more pleasant than whatever happened to Gertrude. If it’s true.

Perhaps it’s a joke, he thinks. Planted by one of the others, designed specifically to unsettle him. Well, it worked. 

It wouldn’t be surprising. He’s...not had the best start. The promotion was a surprise, but not wholly unexpected; he knew he’d been on Elias’s radar, though he wasn’t expecting it quite so soon. He’s young and unfortunately, it shows. The way he stutters through department meetings, talking about digitization while the others, all of whom have at least a decade on him, shoot pitying looks. He stays later and later, the desire to show some sort of progress even as he discovers more mess by the day. The permanent scowl that now graces his features becomes his armor as he walks the halls and feels himself becoming the uptight, unlikable curmudgeon everyone believes him to be. The one time I measure up to expectations, he can’t help thinking.

A joke. There’s a comfort in that. At least it’s familiar.

But it didn’t record to the laptop, his traitorous mind supplies. It's a bit sad he would prefer it to be a mundane attempt at bullying rather than a real expression of the supernatural, but he supposes it’s par for the course. There were many nights as a child he wished for the same thing, for that boy to go back to taking his lunch money and the occasional beating or two instead of…still, he dismisses it from his mind. You don’t know there’s a correlation. Follow up. Disprove it. 

He’s interrupted from his musings by a knock on the door and the vague outline of Martin through the frosted glass. “Come in,” he calls, attempting to inject some irritation in his voice to cover up the shakiness. “Did you need something?”

“Ah, I finished my write up for the Herbert case, was wondering if you had anything else for me?”

His hand hovers over the statement on his desk. He opens his mouth but then closes it, thinking better.

“Can you send Tim in, actually?”

______

“Sorry boss, I couldn’t find anything on this Antonio Blake fellow- well, at least with the details he provided, which were next to none. Proper spooky, though.”

Of his assistants, he trusts Tim the most with this sort of thing. 

On a surface level, it wouldn’t make sense to some. Tim can be loud and gregarious: the typical, charming extrovert. But he’s not unkind and he’s a hell of a researcher, especially when something grabs his interest. He digs into statements and doesn’t let go- not unlike Sasha, though he’s a bit better at empathizing and handling things...sensitively. Easily attuned to Jon’s moods, Tim’s always been willing to lend an ear whenever he gets too in his head about cases, helping him talk things through or on several memorable occasions, go down the rabbit hole with him. He’d taken the statement from his hands with an easy smile, though his face grew serious with the nervous look Jon shot him.

And if Tim couldn’t find anything, well. Maybe it was a prank after all.

He sort of wanted it to be true, frightening as the implications were. Because then it would mean this terrible, heavy feeling on his shoulders was real, and not just the byproduct of his own mediocrity. He doesn’t want to be scared, he doesn’t want to be in danger, but at least it would provide a real reason for panic, and not just his own inability to measure up.  He doesn’t want to prove them all right, collapsing under the stress of a job poorly done and so easily crumbling at a stupid, made-up statement, targeted as it may be. 

“A joke, then.” Jon says, rubbing a hand at his temples, trying not to let the hurt seep into his voice. Tim makes a commiserating noise.

“You know how people are, the institute isn’t exactly popular. You remember last Halloween, when-”

“Yes, I don’t need a reminder.” Jon sighs. He’d rather not relive that day, stressful as it was. “But that wasn’t quite what I was thinking.”

Tim stares at him for a moment, uncomprehending. Jon continues, attempting to make his hands busy as he pointlessly shuffles papers.

“It’s rather pointed, isn’t it? I doubt someone off the street would create such a detailed account of the death of an...archivist as opposed to the usual ghostly drivel.”

A look of pity flickers in Tim’s eyes and Jon has to turn away. “I don’t really think anyone here would-”

“Really? You don’t?” Jon lets out a mirthless laugh, rubbing a hand across his face as he stares down at his desk. “I’m not blind. Or deaf.” The derisive snorts if he goes off on ‘needless tangents,’ how Rosie pretends to be busy whenever he approaches Elias’s office, the way his name badge still reads ‘researcher’ after months of asking for a new one. He’s basically become a pariah.

“Jon, did someone say something to you?” The words are carefully chosen and he’s leaning forward now, making as if to stand up and god forbid, do something comforting. It’s not that Jon doesn’t want the comfort; he craves it more than anything. But he’s gone without for so long he doesn’t trust himself not to break at the gentlest of touches. Being on the receiving end of Tim’s protective streak is nothing new, but he shouldn’t need his assistant looking out for him like he’s some sort of helpless infant. 

He snorts derisively instead, covering up the insecurity and hurt with a sardonic, self-effacing smile. The kind he knows Tim hates. “They don’t need to. I’ve walked in on conversations, I’ve seen the way people go quiet, the looks they give me-”

“Hey,” Tim’s voice is low, like he’s dealing with a frightened animal. Jon wonders how he looks, if Tim’s going this soft. “Don’t listen to them, alright? You inherited a mess, we all did- but we’re doing our best, yeah? Study and record, like Elias said.” Jon doesn’t dodge the hand that finally lands on shoulder, and he’ll deny to anyone that he leaned into it. 

“Study and record.” He repeats listlessly, slumping back down into his seat. He’s let himself get too worked up, acting like a child instead of a boss. He’s not sure when he started wearing his heart on his sleeve, but Tim’s always been good at reading him. Though he’d rather people think him an arrogant ass than the seething mess of insecurity he truly is. 

“Atta boy.” The pat to his shoulder is purposefully light, devoid of Tim’s usually friendly force that sends him stumbling forward. “Now get out of here at a normal time, alright? We can grab lunch tomorrow. Just the two of us, if you like.”

Jon makes a noncommittal grunt, though the thought is nice.  He entertains the idea for just a moment, remembering their occasional outings back in research. Tomorrow he’ll make his excuses. He hasn’t been much of a friend as of late, and he’s not sure he deserves the kindness of company.

“And if there’s anyone that needs a stern talking to from me, I-” Tim wags a finger and Jon rolls his eyes, ignoring the pang of warmth the words send through his chest.

“Don’t, please. It’s fine.” It isn’t. “But...thank you, Tim.”

“Course.” A wink and a sloppy salute to lighten the mood, and Jon feels the tension in his posture ease minutely as Tim shuts the door behind him. 

He lets out a breath and reaches for the tape recorder. He’s wasted too much time already.  

Be careful. There is something coming for you and I don’t know what it is, but it is so much worse than anything I can imagine. At the very least, you should look into appointing a successor.

Good luck.

He fights a shiver as the man’s voice leaves him and the last vestiges of that twilight world fade back to his dimly-lit office. In his follow up, he tries to play it off as a joke. A bit of hazing for the new boss. And yet the uneasiness still creeps into his voice, and he ends another tape on a stilted, half-believed note.

If this is genuine…

Jon prays that it isn’t. 

And like most of his prayers, it goes unheard and unanswered.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32165071

reblogs > likes

[retrogalwrites]

Title: “Shigaraki and the perfect girl” / see on ao3

Pairing: Incel!Shigaraki x f!reader

Summary: Shigaraki has a crush on what seems to be the perfect girl who everyone loves, and becomes obsessed with the idea of corrupting her.

Warnings: attempted sexual assault, virginity fetishization, dub con, creepy behavior, stalking, manipulation and somnophilia with a twist

Contents: creampie, vaginal sex, breeding kink, scent kink (in a gross way), mating press, slight dumbification, corruption kink

Word: 4873

Shigaraki had been watching you from the very beginning, all through your high school years. It hadn't been much of his fault, he always told himself, when your existence alone did nothing but to stand out.

You had always been the center of attention, the most popular girl in the entire school, little Miss Perfect. With your good grades, unrivaled beauty, hordes of friends, admired by all students and professors alike. Being always so kind and innocent, with a friendly demeanor towards everyone, including an unwanted outcast like Shigaraki.

On his end, he had always been the creepy one, the strange one, the antisocial one that sneered at others and cursed them under his breath. Everyone avoided him like the plague, at least whenever they weren't too busy tormenting him, all too eager to remind him of how unwanted he was.

The complete opposite of you, Shigaraki was a social pariah.

On your third year, whenever other students would bully him publicly, give him looks and tell him how gross and disgusting he looked, you always had to come right to his rescue.

"Stop it, guys! That's no way to treat someone." You'd say softly, standing between him and his tormentors like some kind of protector. "Leave him alone, would you?"

And they couldn't say 'no' to you, no one could. Reluctantly they would give in to your heartfelt request and leave him be, those fools always dancing on the palm of your hand, but who could blame them? The hottest girl in class, lusted after by every boy in school, including Shigaraki himself, there was no way anyone could resist doing whatever you wanted them to. So pretty, so sweet, so perfect.

You had it all so easy, didn't you?

Shigaraki hated you for that, deeply and passionately loathed your very existence, a resentment that only grew stronger every time you would turn around, with that expression full of concern, to ask if he was okay.

Yes, he hated you for that. He also desired you for that, adored you in fact, wanted you as badly as any other buffoon in your class did. But not in the same way as them. No, when you looked at him with those sparkly eyes, pouting lips, leaning over his desk to give him an eyeful of your chest straining against the fabric of your school uniform, the feelings that stirred inside him were ugly and suffocating, something too depraved to be love.

When the other guys glared at him for having your attention even for a minute, it made his heart beat faster, it made his blood boil as his hands itched to grab you and destroy you, bend you over his desk and tainting every corner of your body right in front of them.

"You're lucky [name] takes pity on your sorry ass, Shigaraki." One of his bullies would scoff, once you were out of earshot.

"I didn't fucking ask her to. Maybe the bitch has crush on me, huh?" He'd spat back with vitriol, just to be met with a kick to the shin. As he hunched over in pain, he'd always hear those same words.

"Know your damn place, freak. A crush? Please, she's too perfect for you."

And they were right, so very right, but it only made Shigaraki want you more, more, more. His infatuation was warped with the thought of revenge, the desire of getting back at everyone by taking you away for himself, and to get back at you simply for daring to exist.

So Shigaraki would curse you in his mind, every single day, and then every night he'd spent it pleasuring himself to fantasies of you, sometimes holding the items he had stolen from you in the past (a gym shirt, your lip balm, the pencil you'd chew on during class). Creating scenarios where he'd get you alone to taint you, destroy you, turn you into dust and ashes with his own hands until he had dragged you down to his own level: a freak, a pariah, the lowest of the low.

If only he had the guts to do it, if only he could admit to himself that he wanted to do it at all, for real.

—————

After graduation, not seeing you for the following months pushed his mind deeper into that brewing obsession, drove him mad with it.

Shigaraki stalked your social media, watching his phone all day to make sure he didn't miss any of your publications and updates, downloading every selfie you uploaded to keep for himself and fap to later. His infatuation had been growing more and more out of control with each passing day, you invaded his thoughts every waking hour.

And yet Shigaraki told himself that it was really only a coincidence that he had ended up in the same college as you. Despite having read through a conversation on the comments from one of your posts on your Instagram a month or so before graduating, about your college prospects. Despite writing down those prospects to later tell his school advisor that he wanted to get into that same school. Despite having begged his father to send him there despite the inconvenient distance away from home in his daily commute, despite having chosen a major he didn't care about just to be in the same class as you.

His self-denial kept that obsession barely restrained, keeping it from pouring out into reality, and you also had to ruin that.

"Tomura!" You had approached him on the first day at campus, excitedly calling his name with such familiarity. The sound made his breath hitch and his cock twitch inside his pants, stomach fluttering.

"Oh, umm...hey." He chewed on his chapped lip, looking away as he lied through his teeth. "Didn't expect to see Miss Perfect here, of all people."

Despite of his dismissive tone being cold as ice, you kept smiling at him, only laughing as if he had been joking.

"It's so good to see a familiar face, you know? Come, sit next to me!!" You had grabbed his hand without a second thought, pulling him along with you into the classroom. People already whispering just from seeing you two walking together hand in hand: a breathtaking beauty like you and him, a disheveled mess, who had been wearing the same dirty hoodie for already a week.

Yet you didn't let go of his hand, even when he had already started to sweat and his palm got all clammy against yours, you didn't let go. The thought of rubbing off his filth onto your skin filled him with joy.

You really were a fucking idiot.

Holding hands with your stalker so casually, with the guy that wanted to ravish you in a dark corner, break you with his cock until you were screaming his name, and make you beg for your life like a pathetic bitch. Yes, that's what he wanted to do, more than anything in the world. He wanted to destroy you, to violate you, to break you, to make you his. Those weren't fantasies, it was reality.

Shigaraki used that same hand to jerk himself off that night in his dorm, imagining that it was you being forced to stroke his throbbing cock. He imagined that you would be so disgusted by his filthy self, your clear skin getting all of his dirt rubbed all over, fat tears streaming down your face as he forced you to open your mouth and take him in until you chocked on his cock.

Soon enough, he was thrusting into his fist, cumming all over himself until his cock softened, and his hands and abdomen were covered in his sticky semen.

What would you do if you found out that the guy you had been so kind to all these years wanted to hurt you so badly? Shigaraki imagined the despair on your face, and soon he was hard again.

—————

For most people, life after high school plays differently. Once you get to college, popularity contests become a thing of the past...but not for you, it seemed. During that first semester, Shigaraki had to watch how everyone around you was back to fawning all over you. Stumbling over themselves to ask you out to parties and dates (how many times did he overhear guys talking about what they wanted to with your tits and ass?), professors favoring you for your perfect grades, everyone adoring you as the perfect girl once again.

He was still an unwanted pariah, ignored by everyone, looked at with scorn by others.  Except whenever you gave him your attention, of course, only then did people want to get all buddy-buddy probably hoping to get to you with his help.

God. He fucking hated you. And he fucking wanted you.

One day, he finally snapped.

Shigaraki decided that he was going to have you before anyone else got the chance to put their hands on you, the perfect girl that everyone loved so much, would belong to the guy everyone hated.

He was going to tear you down once and for all, like you deserved, for living all these years with a silver spoon in your mouth having it all so damn easy. Wipe off that smile off your face, take it for himself, and make sure you were sullied, miserable, broken.

So, Shigaraki planned his next actions very carefully then. For a whole month, he tried to be more open towards you, more friendly, taking advantage of how kind you had always been towards him despite of the dismissive way he always had treated you with. Despite his awkwardness at it too, something that anyone else would've been turned off by already, but you took his attempts with endearment.

It pleased him, how you fell for it so easily, excited to see him reciprocate your attempts at friendship, the excitement on your face whenever you two were paired together for a project or study sessions.

You were so innocent, and so stupid. He truly loved you.

—————

Shigaraki couldn't believe his luck, the day after an assignment when he got you to come with him to his dorm to start working on how you were going to plan around the workload.

His dorm room was, admittedly, filthy. Unwashed clothes and trash scattered everywhere all over the floor, wraps of junk food and snacks hastily piled on an full trash bin in the corner. Anime figurines, video games, and posters decorated the shelves and the walls. The only spot that was kind of well kept was his gaming corner, with his pc and monitors all sparkly clean. He knew it was a shameful way to live, and he excitedly looked at your face hoping to see any semblance of disgust towards it. The lack of it, made Shigaraki frown.

"Err...sorry, I didn't know you were coming so I didn't clean up the place." He feigned concern, trying to edge a reaction out of you.

"That's ok, sorry for barging in." You gave an understanding smile.

Shigaraki's twisted resolve only became stronger. He was going to wipe that smile off your face, and that thought echoed in his mind on repeat for the following hour you two sat down to work.

Though, of course, his attention was not in the books in front if him. Shigaraki was too focused on the fact you were sitting on his bed, your bare things peaking underneath your skirt making direct contact with his dirty bedsheets.

Could you even begin to imagine that those bedsheets were stained with cum from his daily fapping? That he furiously had been jerking himself off to you for months in that same bed? His blood had begun to run towards his loins, and his cock was starting to strain against his jeans. Shigaraki had to cover himself with the textbook as to not to give himself away.

"Tomura, can we take a break? I'm getting tired." You yawned some time later, putting the book away and stretching your arms above your head. An action that gave Shigaraki a perfect view of your pretty curves, the way your tits heaved slightly as you pushed your chest forward, and a flash of midriff peaked from underneath your top.

"We still got a lot to do, dumbass." He curtly replied, pretending he wasn't leering.

You pouted, like a brat. He couldn't understand how you got such good grades when you could be this lazy sometimes. "Please, just fifteen minutes?"

He pretended to think about it, before shrugging at you begrudgingly. "Alright, just stop looking at me like that."

With a pleased, cheeky smile, you let your back fell on his mattress. Something that actually took him by surprise, Shigaraki watched in disbelief how you bounced on his bed, thighs and tits jiggling. You yawned again as you curled into a ball, he wondered if you even noticed how he ran his tongue over his dry lips. Were you really going to make it this easy for him? Were you that stupid?

"Wake me up in fifteen minutes." and you closed your eyes.

"Sure thing." He couldn't stop his lips from stretching into a huge, sinister smile.

—————

Shigaraki had never been a patient man, but he exercised all of the patience he had within him just to wait out the agonizingly slow seconds as you gradually fell asleep. He kept his eyes glued on your laying form through the first five minutes, casually but excitedly palming his erection through his jeans as he watched you fall asleep. He waited, and waited, silently observing your breathing until it fell into slow, regular rhythm. Soft snoring sounds purred from your throat, leaving your lips.

His cock was so fucking hard it hurt.

Hesitantly, Shigaraki called your name once in a hushed voice, then twice a little bit louder, and when he got no response from you, he knew that the time he had waited for all those years had finally come.

The time to break you.

The beating of his heart hammered loudly in his ears, as Shigaraki crawled over the bed towards you. His weight shifted the shape of the mattress, so he moved as slowly as his desperation allowed him to, as to not wake you up yet. Positioning himself above you, his legs straddled you underneath him as he unbuckled his pants and pulled out his throbbing erection, veiny shaft all with the head red and swollen, looking like he was about to burst. Then, supporting himself on his knees, he leaned back for a moment just to take in the wonderful sight you made.

Spread on his filthy bed, so comfortably on your back, breathing through lush parted lips. The girl chased after by everyone at school, they all would've killed to be in his place and to see you like this, to have you like this. Looking so small, so fragile, so defenseless, so fucking perfect.

Years of abstinence came down crashing all at once and Shigaraki's depravity took a hold of him completely, and it felt damn good.

His lips came down to cover yours with such pathetic urgency, Shigaraki crushed your soft body underneath his larger, even if skinny, frame. Dry and chapped lips devoured the softness of yours, and they tasted so sweet and creamy, exactly the same flavor of lip balm he had stolen from you back in high school. God, he could feel your heavy, round tits pressing against his chest, his erect cock rubbing needy against the snug gash of your clothed crotch, the engorged head poking at your entrance like he was in heat like a dog, shuddering violently at the stimulation. He moaned loudly against your mouth, forcing his tongue between your teeth and into your sweet mouth, as drool trailed down the corners of his mouth and smearing against your pristine skin. God, he forgot to brush his teeth after his morning coffee, his mouth was surely filthy...not like it even mattered to him anyway. Neither did it matter that he was going to wake you up like that, he indulged on tasting you completely. In fact, he anticipated to watch you wake up, and realize what a stupid bitch you had been.

Bringing his hands to your face, he forced your mouth to press harder against his as he kissed you so sloppily, his throbbing erection rutting against your core.

"(Name)...oh fuck, (Name)..." He whined against your lips. Just a virgin that he was, Shigaraki couldn't help that the mere stimulation of your clothed pussy-mound rubbing on his bare cock was really firing him up, pushing him so much that he was creaming his pants already. He shuddered, muscles tensing as the head of his cock spurted huge jets if his smelly, sticky cum all over the front of your skirt and your thighs.

He breathed heavily, looking at the mess he made.

Then he heard you call out to him, and the sound of your voice was anything but distressed, or even angry.

Instead, you sounded disappointed.

"Aww, you already came?" His eyes shot to your face. You were wide awake, face flushed as you stared at him through fluttering lashes and glossy eyes, the expression of someone who was throughly aroused. Shigaraki was the one struck by shock, and confusion.

"Tomura, I can't believe you are such a quick shot. I was looking forward to this, you know?" Your disappointment somehow puzzled him more than the sheer anger of being called out for his quick ejaculation, and that was impressive on itself. His expression made you giggle.

"What the fuck are you laughing for?!" He growled with bared teeth, his hands moving to your writs to restrain them above your head, crushing you with his body again. You whined, not in fear, but need.

He couldn't begin to understand what was happening. You weren't freaking out, you weren't crying, you weren't despairing.

"Do you understand what is happening here? I'm assaulting you, stupid bitch!" He lost his cool so quickly.

"Of course I know." Speaking in a whisper, your back arched, pressing yourself further against Shigaraki, raising your thighs to catch his cock between the soft flesh of your exposed, sticky thighs. He hissed through his teeth,  the touch easily making his cock spring back to life, harder than before.

"Tomura, you've always been a creep." For the first time, your voice sounded harsh, condescending.

And disgusted.

Finally, that disgusted look. Shigaraki stared at you with a burning gaze through red eyes, mouth agape at the sound of those words being uttered by you, that look on your face that he had wanted to see for the longest time. His cock twitched, a spurt of cum drooling down the tip and getting on your exposed panties. The feeling made you shudder, your things squeezing his cock between them again. His back arched, hands restraining you gripped your wrists tighter, he cursed at how fucking good it felt.

"But I always liked that about you, honestly! How gross you are, how dirty and smelly you are, you are always so mean to me too! I wanted you to take me like this by force one day."

"You...wanted this to happen?" Shigaraki was starting to understand, though none of it made sense. You snorted, giving him a suddenly smug grin that made his blood boil.

"I always hoped it would." A candid confession, your own breathing had become erratic, the euphoria of pouring out your deepest secrets. "It always made me feel so hot to imagine that you fucked me and made me all dirty and disgusting, that you turned me into a freak like you."

It sounded like pure bullshit, and yet the genuine honesty in your voice left no room to question it. The reality you presented him with had shattered his own. And it made him so damn angry and so fucking turned on. He felt all light-headed suddenly, like he was in a dream.

"So you've been fucking with me all this time?! Is that it, you damn bitch?!"

One of his hands roughly grabbed your throat, fingers circling the frail column of bone and squeezing hard, you gasped at the sudden pressure keeping you from breathing. You stared up at him. His gaze bore into yours, face inching closer to snarl with pure, scorching fury.

And yet you still looked so ecstatic, a lewd expression that couldn't be further from that angelic, innocent look everyone always said made you so perfect. You looked absolutely wicked in that moment.

"Yes...I have." You spoke through labored breaths, clawing and the hand around your throat. "You fucking...disgusting...creep."

Shigaraki realized then, that you hadn't ever been perfect, in fact, you had been the same as him from the beginning. A depraved fucking mess.

And he hated you for that, loved you for that.

Shigaraki then let go of both your wrist and neck, slipping his leaking cock away from your thighs as he leaned back on his knees. Gasping for oxygen, your head already felt light by the time you felt your clothes being violently ripped off from your body, blouse and skirt tearing away and being thrown behind Shigaraki's towering frame, leaving you in only your underwear.

The frilly, see-through thing that looked more like lingerie. God, you really were such a fucking freak, weren't you?

Shigaraki's hands went to unclip your bra that so luckily opened at the front. Throwing the item with the thorn pile of your other clothes. The sight of your bare tits bouncing in front if him was like out of his deepest fantasies, and Shigaraki didn't wait a second longer to roughly squeeze your breasts in his calloused hands, taking handfuls of the supple mounds of flesh he had always dreamed to grope. They felt full and heavy in his palms, fingers sinking into their softness, and seeing the way you mewled when his thumbs teased the hardening nubs of your nipples, making you softly moan his name, Shigaraki lost it.

His mouth attacked one of your nipples, mouth latching to the puffy areolae and teeth sinking into the flesh as he sucked hard and desperate. Your reaction was immediate, hands tangling into his messy white hair and fingers pulling at his scalp, mouth parted to mewl his name in pain and delight. He kept suckling at your breasts, hungry and rough like he was hoping to suck milk out of them, the other hand already playing with the other breast, mercilessly pulling and twisting your hard nipple, bruising the tender skin.

"Tomura wait — ooh!!" Your body trembled as you whined out his name, another wave of pleasurable pain hitting you when Shigaraki squeezed your breasts together and brought both nipples into his greedy mouth. Sucking at them and lapping at the pebbled skin with his tongue, until your were squirming underneath him like a needy little whore.

One of his hands delved down to your panties, the thin string that held them up all to easy to break with one powerful tug. You gasped, a sound that turned into a loud scream when you felt his fingers teasing the hot wetness of your pussy lips, before he buried one digit into your core, testing your insides.

"Oh fuck..." You breathed, biting your lip, feeling him experimentally finger your inner walls. Shigaraki was fascinated at how hot and slick you felt inside, your fleshy walls sucking around his fingers so tightly that he wanted to stuff his cock inside that hole now, now, now.

He let go of your nipples with a lewd pop, spit dribbling down the abused skin. "Who would've thought...that you had such a filthy mouth." He snickered. "You are so fucking wet already, you goddamn degenerate, you want my cock so bad, huh? I'll let you know I haven't showered in a few days." It was like he was testing you by basking in his own disgusting habits.

"Y-Yes, I do, I want your filthy cock!!" Another loud moan, uncaring that other people in the dorm were going to hear. "Please, Tomura, make me filthy!!" The expression on your face, mouth agape with your little tongue out so unabashedly desperate for someone like him made his heart flutter.

Shigaraki would've wanted to keep you begging for so much longer, but in reality, his own desperation had him pulling back his hand from your pussy, leaving you empty and sighing disappointed for a moment, but not for long. Firmly anchoring himself down with his knees on the mattress, he raised your hips with a bruising touch and with the clumsiness of an inexperienced man, plunged his cock into your pussy in one punishingly rough thrust. The sudden feeling of being full had you arching your back and curling your toes, nails clawing at his forearms as you writhed in pain from the sudden intrusion. Shigaraki buried his cock into you until his pubes brushed your outer lips, and he was balls depp inside.

"Fuck, fuck, ooh...holy shit you...are fucking tight." Tomura groaned with his mouth agape, eyes rolling to the back of his head. His breath hot against your skin as he leaned over for a moment, taking in the unbelievably hot sensation of you squeezing around him. "This fucking greedy pussy, hngg..." Your insides felt so good, better than he ever imagined, you were so tight sucking him in like you were trying to rip off his cock. Was this what pussy felt like, or was this just you? Seeing what a slut you were, he didn't think you were even a virgin. And yet your velvety walls wrapped around his shaft in a snug fit inside that scorching, pulsating heat, Shigaraki couldn't imagine anything else comparing to it.

He couldn't stop himself as he began thrusting his cock into your hole, pulling only slightly before sinking back, selfishly unwilling to let go of that delirious sensation around his length. The harder he snapped his hips, the better it felt, his balls throbbed as they slapped against your plump ass.

"Tomura, i-it hurts....mmm, oh!" Tears swelled in your eyes, and yet your hips were needly sinking on his cock like there was anything else of him to take. What a glutton for punishment you were, but soon that burning pain became something just as good, even better actually, delicious pain, and your were soon arching your back and bouncing on his cock with all your might.

"Guess neither of us are virgins anymore, huh?" You panted with a laugh. Shigaraki froze then for a second, his eyes stared at your face contorted by pain and pleasure with wide eyes, enraptured and burning with something a little hotter than desire. A virgin, so even after the truth of your character, you really were as untainted as he thought.

Shigaraki was scrapping your virgin insides with his cock, truly making you filthy in the most pure sense of the word. He was tainting you, breaking you, the perfect girl everyone adored.

That was it, Shigaraki cursed under his breath as he pulled out, earning a confused and disappointed sound of from your lips, that then became a little help when he grabbed the back of your legs and pushed them up, bending them against your chest. He positioned himself over you and stuffed his cock back inside, thrusting into you as hard as he could, taking up a new merciless pace. In that new position, both of you could feel him reaching even deeper inside you, the engorged head on his cock hitting the entrance of your cervix, that little orifice sucking at his tip like it was begging for his filthy, fertile seed. The thought made him fuck you even harder, the image of him pouring his cum inside you and impregnating your insides.

"Tomura, Tomura, Tomura!!"

His name was a chant on your lips, arms thrown around his shoulders to pull him closer. You could smell the sweat and grime on his hair, and the thought someone so gross like him was taking you made your insides flutter and twist with the build up of an orgasm. "Tomura, don't stop, fuck...don't stop!!"

He didn't and soon you were clamping on his cock, your orgasm making you so tight that Shigaraki was shooting his load too reaching an abrupt climax, pleasure hitting him as his cum flooded your insides with its warmth, painting your walls white and filling up your womb until it was overflowing out of you, steaming down your thighs and ass onto his bedsheets.

It was like a dream, the best dream he had ever had. And he would've thought that it was nothing but a dream, too. If not for the arms that were still clinging to him and refusing to let go, the pretty mouth breathing against his ear.

"Tomura, you...really are disgusting." A satisfied voice filled with disgust, and affection. His cock began hardening inside you and you barked a laugh.

He hated you for that, and he loved you for that. The perfect girl everyone wanted, that was just so perfect for him too.

[pedropascalunofficial]

Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey

Head to head interview

Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.

Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.

Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”

“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.

Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.

LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?

PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.

LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?

PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.

LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.

PP: I kissed your ass.

LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.

PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.

LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?

PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.

LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?

PP: Not you.

LH: I realise that!

PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.

LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?

PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?

LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.

PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.

LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?

PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.

LH: He has some.

PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?

LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!

PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.

LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?

PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.

LH: Because were stupid?

PP: We're stupid.

LH: I can't even make pizza!

PP: We don’t have any other skills.

LH: None at all!

PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.

LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?

PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?

LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.

PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!

LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?

PP: My sister.

LH: Does she watch the show?

PP: Yes, she does.

LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.

PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.

LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.

PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.

LH: And now I’m educated.

PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.

LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?

PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.

LH: Oh, that’s just fake.

PP: Well, you guys were good at it!

LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?

PP: I have hope.

LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.

PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.

LH: You were quite emotional that day.

PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.

LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.

PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?

LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.

PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...

LH: Grey?

PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?

LH: Yes, it is liberating.

PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?

LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.

PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?

LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.

PP: Well, that covers it.

LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know

Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!

[holylulusworld]

The DUFF

Title: The DUFF

Square Filled: youtubers au

Ship: Student!Dean x Student!Reader

Characters: Bela Talbot, Lisa Braeden, Jo Harvelle

Rating: Mature

Warnings: angst, shitty friends, low self-esteem, cocky Dean, mutual pining, reader is a little shy, fluff, a hint of making out, implied smut

Summary: Y/N’s world is shattered when she learns everyone knows her as 'The DUFF' (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) to her prettier, more popular friends. She turns away from her friends and asks the boy next door for help to get more popular.

Word Count: 2k

Written/Created for: @spnaubingo​​​​

A/N: Inspired by the movie ‘The Duff’ (The plot is not exactly the same.)

2020 SPN AU BINGO Masterlist

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

“A what?“ watching your best friends’ latest video, the one they taped without your knowledge you feel your heart chatter. They filmed you while your tried to explain something about your latest essay, but they replaced your voice with something that sounds like a comic figure. 

“Hey sweetheart,” Dean huffs, struggling to carry his books and wave at you at the same time. “What? No smile for your friendly neighbor.” he stops in his tracks, brows furrowed. “Something wrong?”

“They—they called me a DUFF and made this video,” you cry, handing Dean your phone. “I believed they are my friends.”

“A DUFF? Fuck, what’s that?” sitting next to you Dean starts the video. “Uh-did you talk about food or farted?”

“No,” sniffing you take the phone out of Dean’s hands. “I tried to explain to them how I got the idea for my essay. I wanted to help them, ya know.”

“Ever the smart girl,” this time you huff at Dean’s words.

“Yeah, the DUFF,” you quip, looking at the phone. “There are more videos they uploaded yesterday. Lisa and Bela filmed me for months and made fun of me.”

“But they uploaded that crap yesterday. Why out of the sudden?” Dean asks, glancing at you. “Did something happen yesterday or the day before?”

“I told them that I got no time to help Lisa with her essay. My schedule is packed and-“ you huff, realizing you were nothing but their crutch to master their courses. “Sucks being the DUFF.”

“What the fuck is a DUFF?” Dean mutters, looking at your phone. “I never heard that word before.”

“How could you, Dean? You are a ten, no eleven. You’re handsome, got this smart brother helping you with your grades, drive a cool car, are the captain of the football team,” wiping your eyes you look at Dean’s car, parked in your parents’ driveway. “You are the all-American boy, I’m a plain Jane.”

“You’re smart, caring, and funny, Y/N,” your neighbor pats your thigh, tries to comfort you in his clumsy way. “They are not worth your time.”

“Lisa and Bela were my only friends, Dean. Now I realized it was stupid to believe anyone could ever like me the way I am,” you whisper, looking at Dean.

“You are not a plan Jane, sweetheart,” you think about Dean’s words, suddenly too aware he could be the one helping you.

“WAIT! You are the opposite! How about you help me reinvent myself?”

“Wait—what?” dumbfounded Dean watches you open your YouTube channel, showing him all the videos, you uploaded. “How shall your YouTube channel help you now?”

“Not the channel, you. If you film me while I do cool stuff people could see the real me or a better version of me.”

“Y/N, you don’t need to fake you are someone else for people to like you,” trying to cheer you up Dean gives you a soft smile. “How about I show you the video I made last week? Sammy landed on his ass.” snickering Dean opens his channel. “See, he tried to throw the football at me, slipped, and landed on his ass.”

“And he still looks better than I ever could. He’s tall, handsome, and smart. Must be the Winchester genes, your dad is hot too.”

“Whoa, slow down, sweetheart. Don’t call my dad hot,” cringing Dean looks at you, sighing when more tears run down your cheeks. “So, do you know what DUFF means?”

“Designated Ugly Fat Friend, that’s what I am to Lisa and Bela,” whispering the words you hide your face in the palms of your hands. “I always knew I’m not sexy or pretty like them.”

“I can’t believe someone as smart as you listens to bird brains like Lisa and Bela. All they got in mind are shoes, boys, and fashion. You are so much better than them.”

“Says the guy dating cheerleaders,” you slowly get up, not hiding fresh tears roll down your cheeks. “If you don’t want to help me, fine. But don’t pretend someone like you can understand how it feels to be a DUFF.”

“Can you not leave me alone, Winchester?” you groan when Dean knocks at your window, sighing as you don’t want to open the window for him. “I will tell my dad to get rid of the tree.”

“Lemme inside, sweetheart. I will help you, okay. Y/N, if I fall off that branch it’s your fault,” Dean grumbles when you open the window. “Finally.”

“I didn’t invite you over, Dean. What do you want here?”

“I want to help you with your videos,” climbing into your room Dean smirks as you are wearing one of his old shirts. “You look good in my shirt.”

He used to be your best friend when you were teens but now, he got even more popular it feels like he lives in another universe.

“It’s not yours,” you lie poorly, eyes following Dean who falls onto your bed, groaning. “Did you climb up the tree to just lie there?”

“I’m getting older, Y/N. It’s not that easy anymore to climb up that fucking tree,” Dean argues. “Now tell me about your ideas for your Youtube channel. I want to check on them.”

“I thought about fashion tips, or make-up,” biting your index finger you look around your room. “Maybe something about music?”

“Do you know shit about clothes?” sitting up Dean watches you sigh deeply. “So no fashion crap. Make-up? You don’t need make-up.”

“But that’s the kind of crap people watch. Maybe if I-“ you point toward your laptop, muttering under your breath.

“Music, that’s always a good idea. Sadly you’ve got an awful taste in music,” grinning Dean watches you sit next to him on your bed. “What did you listen to lately?”

“Not your classic rock crap,” you quip. “I guess no one wants to know what I listen to, right?”

“Let me think about something,” slinging one arm around your shoulders Dean grins. “I’m a master. I got fifteen thousand hits for the video with me and Baby. I fixed the accelerator and people freaked out.”

“Dean, I hate to break it for you, but I don’t think anyone but me listened to your explanations. Your chest was bare, and you bend over the car. Everyone was drooling all over your ass.”

“WAIT!” Dean grins, eyes sparkling now. “You checked my ass out?” he husks leaning closer to whisper seductively in your ear. “I wouldn’t mind if you do it again.”

“Hey, it was you taking off your shirt. No one told you to wear tight blue jeans either. If you show off the goods, people like to look,” you shrug. “Sadly, this won’t help me. No one wants to see my ass.”

“I’ll gladly watch your ass bounce,” Dean snickers. “Let’s talk about your hobbies. Maybe we find something interesting you could present in one of your videos.”

“I like to read, yoga, drawing, writing, and sometimes I just sing along to random songs,” you count all the things you like. “Oh, and I like to work on my old Mustang. I’m not as good as you, but I’m learning.”

“Sweetheart, if you don’t stop turning me on I’m not responsible if I fall hard and fast for you,” he husks, lips brushing your cheek. “Tell me about the car.” you jump up, excitedly pacing around your room. 

While you don’t even hide your excitement, Dean gets his phone out. 

“Oh, it’s a 1966 Ford Mustang, Dean. It’s baby blue and simply perfect. All original parts. I need to check on the engine and the wheels don’t look good, but Bobby will help me get the parts I’ll need.” 

“What about the engine? Do you know what’s wrong with it?” Dean asks, slowly getting up from the bed to film you while you try to remember all the facts about your car.

“I need to replace the spark plugs, and the engine overheats. Bobby will help me find out what's wrong with the engine,“ you keep on talking about the car, excitedly telling Dean everything you know. “Soon I will drive around, the wind in my hair and-“ you stop in your tracks, furrowing your brows. “Dean, are you filming?”

“Yep, and I can tell people went nuts. Look at the comments!” Dean smirks, handing you his phone.

“Wait, you live-streamed me?” whimpering you drop Dean’s phone. “No!!! Look at what I’m wearing! Torn jeans, one of your faded shirts and no make-up!”

“Exactly,” picking up his phone Dean opens your YouTube channel to show you the comments. “See, eighty hits in not twenty minutes. All guys say they love you know how to repair a car.”

“One of them says I got a nice ass, Dean,” you roll your eyes. “Wait, how did you know my password?”

“It’s still Dean1979Baby,” he smirks, giving you a wink. “Now let’s plan our next video. I’m going to turn you into a star.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be a star, Dean,” sighing you sit on your bed. “All I ever wanted was to have a few good friends, maybe at least one or two. I believed Lisa and Bela are my friends, but they only used me to get better grades and to make fun of me.”

“Stupid chicks, Y/N. Forget about their videos. How about we create a new channel, and we can work on videos together. We can have a look at my car in the next video and I’ll help you repair your Mustang, sweetheart.”

“Why would you do this?” watching Dean sit on your bed again you groan. “Dean.”

“I like you, okay. When you started to hang out with Lisa, she told me you are into Benny. She said you went on a date with him and made out,” Dean grumbles.

“I never had a date, Dean,” hating to admit no one ever asked you out you look at Dean. “No one ever asked me out and Benny, he’s not into me but that new girl. I forgot her name.”

“You’re not dating Benny?” scooting closer Dean watches you shake your head, embarrassed. “Would you go on a date with me then?   

“Dean, I don’t think you want to go out with a DUFF,” giving Dean a sad smile you push the tears away. “I don’t want you to ruin your reputation for someone like me. Everyone would laugh about you.”

“Sweetheart, I give a shit on my reputation,” Dean lifts your chin with his index finger, forces you to meet his gaze. “I want to go out with you. I don’t care if someone calls you duff, diff, or whatever. To me you are perfect and anyone telling me otherwise will taste my fist.”

“Winchester, stop being so nice,” you giggle looking Dean deep in the eyes. “Dean?”

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” his lips press softly again yours and you wrap your arms around Dean’s neck, forgetting about your shitty friends, the videos, and anything else. “You’re not a DUFF, baby girl. You are my sweetheart from now on…”

“What the fuck!” Lisa cries, looking at the latest video Dean posted. “He-he’s dating that freak?”

“They uploaded fifteen videos since we posted ours,” Bela mutters, closing the app. “Guess Dean didn’t turn his back on her.”

“He’s kissing her in that video, telling everyone she’s his sweetheart!” 

“Oh, hey!” Jo waves at Bela, snickering at Lisa’s pissed expression. “Did you hear? Dean invited all of us to his birthday party! He wants to celebrate his birthday and his new girlfriend. Cool!”

“We didn’t get an invitation,” Lisa snarls. 

“I know,” Jo coos. “Dean only invited cool people. People not talking trash about someone he loves. I can’t believe I always wanted to be friends with you. Bye…”

“Awesome,” Dean grins, watching you bend over to have a look at the engine of your car. “You look so good in those shorts and my shirt. I’m going to devour you later sweetheart and there is nothing you can do to stop me.”

You squeal when Dean grasps for your ass. “NO! Dean, stop! I got grease all over my skin.”

“Oh, I got an idea or two to get you clean, baby girl,” he purrs, pressing his hips into your ass. “How about a shower to get you clean and later…I’ll make you dirty all over again…”

Tags in reblog.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 307: The One With Shindou

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor and Hawks (and Jeanist too, although he didn’t really do anything, but BY GOD, WHAT IS UP WITH HIS NECK) held a press conference and were all, “everything you’ve heard is true, so we would just like to say, from the bottom of our hearts... our bad.” U.A. opened its doors to the public as an evacuation shelter. Deku and All Might told basically EVERYBODY about OFA, which is absolutely wild, and yet somehow we hardly paid any attention to this at all. Mostly because the chapter ended with Deku being all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD, THE ONLY ONE THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN” and peacing out of U.A. to embark on a solo journey of angst. So this is either gonna be the best or the worst thing that ever happened to this series, so TIME TO FIND OUT WHICH IT IS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so who do you guys want to see next? Deku? Bakugou?? Well how about SHINDOU?” Shindou is all “hi :) I’m Shindou :) :) remember me :) :) :)?” Horikoshi is all “I’m so sorry for depriving you guys of Shindou for so fucking long, how about an ENTIRE CHAPTER ALL OF HIM” and then he REALLY FUCKING DOES IT because, I don’t know?? Did we make him mad?? Am I being punished for something I did in a past life?? It really is, honest to god, seventeen whole goddamn pages of Shindou, punctuated by a few pages of Muscular, and topped off with one (1) whole appearance by Deku at THE VERY END. And we don’t even get to see his face. I am beside myself lmao I’m sorry you guys, you can skip this recap if you want. Or just skip straight to the end, because movie 3 promo.

“long time no see” now what could this mean?? can’t think of too many characters this phrase would apply to right now. although I can think of one big one, and I know that fandom has been trying to manifest his deadbeat ass to finally show itself for years now. could it finally be that time? if Hisashi shows up and debunks DFO a big chunk of the fandom is probably going to riot lol

(ETA: why oh why did I get my hopes up like that lmao. I’m pretty sure Hisashi doesn’t actually exist and Deku was either immaculately conceived, or the stork really did bring Inko a lil green baby from the cabbage patch.)

anyway, so the chapter is opening on this random scene of CRIME and DISARRAY

was this all done by that big villain from the previous chapter? utility poles knocked down, random holes in the sides of buildings, and it looks like this one car pulled over in a hurry and the driver just hopped out and ran

who are these people talking

OH NO, OH GOD

I am immediately struck by the urge to push Shindou off of this ledge. is that mean? probably that is mean, but also fuck this guy lmao. every year you cheat someone out of their well-deserved spot in the popularity poll, and every year I want to punch you in your stupid face for it

bah. and how are you doing, Tatami. love that hero name even if you do have arguably the dumbest superpower in the entire series

listen, though. here I am shitting on these Ketsubutsu kids for no good reason, and I’m sorry about that, and truthfully it’s mostly because I just want to see Deku and/or Kacchan and so it’s hard to give a fuck about anything else right now. BUT, I will immediately cease and desist ALL of my complaining if this means we also get to see my best girl Ms. Joke, omg. Horikoshi please

sdlkfjlskalk

FUCK YOU SHINDOU OMG. I’M SORRY GUYS I CAN’T HELP IT, EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SO EMINENTLY PUNCHABLE AND DETESTIBLE. IT’S LIKE SOMEONE COMBINED WESLEY CRUSHER WITH JEAN RALPHIO

but LSKJFLEK at this random reminder that Bakugou refused to shake his fucking hand. like, that’s his “fun fact” apparently lol. it’s what he deserves

also living for this “cringe” here, too. fuck you Shindou. I am so, so sorry to any Shindou fans out there you guys because I’m just going to be like this the entire time he’s here. the hate is flowing through me

how has it been three whole pages and I still have to look at his stupid face

anyway so it seems like the kids are having to pick up the slack for Old Man Samurai and all those other assholes who retired. I’m guessing the U.A. kids will be seeing a lot more action as well

but in the meantime let’s hope no villains attack here all of a sudden, because all Tatami can do is make herself shorter while Shindou creates an earthquake to bring the entire building down around them dflkjslk

these guys don’t particularly want to go with them and I can’t say I blame them

so now Shindou is saying that yeah, they can probably handle the looters and such by themselves, but it’s a different story when it comes to the Noumu and the escaped Tartarus prisoners. Shindou how dare you make a reasonable point that I can’t immediately argue with

he says that one of the escapees was sighted in the area, so that’s why they’re trying to evacuate everyone

and the guy disagrees and says he doesn’t trust the heroes and thinks they’re pompous

fdskljk. fucking...

ME: Horikoshi can we please stop and get Deku HORIKOSHI: we have Deku at home THE DEKU AT HOME: 

Horikoshi. please. we get it, the civilians don’t trust the heroes anymore. I UNDERSTAND. I COMPREHEND THIS. so unless there is some other point to this scene I respectfully ask that you hurry things along because omg

did Tatami always have this habit of speaking in meme language and such? I thought that was Camie’s thing but hey

listen, I’m here for anyone who’s willing to drag this man down into the depths of the earth. I would just also rather not spend the entire fucking chapter on this oh my god. Horikoshi do you have any more of those chapters where things happen in them?? those are good, I like those

YESSSSSS FINALLY

so whoever’s on the other end of the call (ETA: it’s that rock-looking guy who can harden anything that he touches. why does BnHA have so many hardening powers) is telling them to run because there’s apparently a villain heading right for them, oh my

WHO IS HE

depending on who it is I can’t promise I won’t be rooting for them over you, buddy

ohhhhhh shit

huh. well that’s... hmm... but on the other hand...

okay lol no, I know it’s bad. Muscular fucking LOVES murdering kids. not even Shindou deserves that. I’m sure he has a family that loves him and stuff. and Tatami seems like a sweet girl. they don’t deserve to be murdered

that is the question isn’t it? are we really going to spend the entire chapter with Limbs-Retracting-Girl and her boyfriend, Joseph Gordon-Levitt from (500) Days of Summer??

YES OMG

YES PLEASE CALL YOUR SENSEI. my god do you know what I would give to see Ms. Joke take down an S-class villain??

(ETA: all I’ll say is that we were robbed here, you guys.)

now Tatami is running away while Shindou stays behind omg

Horikoshi I know I said I hate the guy, and I do, but my god. seems I don’t hate him half as much as you do you. been nice knowing you Shindou my man

are you serious Tatami really ran all the way back up here to try and evacuate these guys one more time

SHE’S SUCH A GOOD PERSON omg if you assholes don’t listen to her you deserve to get murdered

BRO

HORIKOSHI DID YOU REALLY FUCKING DO IT I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

LOL OKAY NO, SO FAR HE’S ONLY MESSED UP HIS FACE

WHAT A SHAME WHAT A TRAGEDY. THE WORLD MOURNS

okay but seriously, now he has to be dead

r.i.p. Shindou. he died doing what he loved, talking a lot and being utterly useless

then again, damn Shindou are you really gonna come out here and be a badass?? gonna make me eat my words there kiddo?

I have absolutely no idea if I should expect this to work or not. all I know is that this is page 14, and so it would seem we really are going to spend the entire fucking chapter on fucking Shindou. this beautiful chapter had so much potential, Horikoshi. and now look at it. I hope you’re happy

nope it didn’t fucking work at all lmao

IT’S JUST LIKE I SAID. r.i.p. you pretentious handsome lump

OHHHHHH SNAP

DEKU YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LOL. anyway but it’s good to see you!! it’s good to see ANYONE other than these guys sob but especially you

FINALLY SOMETHING COOL OMG

somehow Horikoshi actually made the bunny mask look badass?? I don’t think this is sustainable, but I am here for it while it lasts

Shindou should by all rights be nothing but A HANDSOME PASTE at this point lol but WHATEVER. it’s BnHA; getting smashed into walls and cliffs has more or less the same consequences as being set on fire. slap a band-aid on it and you’re good to go

we are REALLY ENDING IT HERE huh

well. and that’s it. I just did not care about any of that lmao. a rare dud of a chapter. well, but we’ve had something like ten in a row that ranged from “pretty good” to “amazing”, so I guess that’s fair

anyway I feel like I owe you guys something other than endless bitching and moaning, so! BONUS:

now this is more like it

first of all, I’m absolutely living for this promo’s “YEET THE CHILDREN OUT OF A HELICOPTER” vibes. FUCK YEAH WE’RE HEROES BITCH

is Deku wearing a jetpack/parachute?? let’s hope he is because I’m assuming he doesn’t have Float yet, so if that’s not a jetpack then it is a LONG WAY DOWN kiddo

these maniacs actually got Deku to wear something other than his red shoes holy fuck. I’m speechless. are we sure that’s not an imposter??

Shouto has the funniest falling position I’ve ever seen. I’m assuming his left arm is not in fact tucked under his leg like it appeared to be at first glance?? like, wtf is the outline of your body right now Shouto

this is what I think it is after careful analysis, but at first I thought this kid had some hidden contortionist abilities

and then there’s this guy

I MISSED YOU YOU BIG GOON. loving the new gauntlets!! and he’s changed up his impractical metal neck thingy into arm thingies! but most importantly, ARE THESE WHAT I THINK THEY ARE

ARE THOSE WEENIES. KACCHAN. KACCHAN HAVE YOU GONE NATIVE OMFG

and meanwhile, look who’s with them! Endeavor makes perfect sense of course, but Hawks is a very welcome surprise. does this mean we can expect to see Tokoyami too? because I would fucking love that

lastly, so this confirms the whole “world heroes” thing! which we all pretty much guessed anyway lol. I wonder if this movie will take place in another country (fingers crossed). the city in the background doesn’t look particularly familiar, but this image probably wasn’t meant to be analyzed in that way lol. anyways, looking forward to this so much, PLEASE GIVE US A TRAILER SOON omg

[sideblog-666-thousand]

A long bitch of an interview with Euronymous, from Orcustus zine in early ‘92.

What is Orcustus? Orcustus was an early 90’s black metal ‘zine run by none other than Bård “Faust*” Eithun— murderous pretty-boy, and o.g Euronymous simp. I think he might have also played drums in a band called Emperor... but I’m not sure! Its full name is actually “Orcustus— The Shadow of The Golden Fire”, and no, I’m not making this up.

This particular issue here opens up with a quote from a short story called ‘The Doom That Came To Thomas Parkes*’.

Assuming the reader hasn’t read the story, Faust explains that the quote is in reference to what happened to the titular ‘Thomas Parkes’ when he tried to raise spirits. Faust then admits that he’s unsure of his own ability to ‘raise spirits’, but says he hopes that he’ll raise some fists in agreement that there’s something wrong with the underground scene. Ironically (you’ll see why this is ironic very soon), he doesn’t like that certain bands, namely Entombed, are selling so many copies of their LPs.

After a brief diatribe on just that, he goes on to explain that he was in a rush to get this mag out because of problems with the printer. Then, he tells anyone who doesn’t like the fact that this ‘zine only features black metal that they can fuck off, with three exclamation points.

Finally, we get to the end of the opening page, where Faust pulls what can only be called an early form of the Twitter exposed thread. It reads as follows, with absolutely no changes to the text:

“I would suggest you to not do any business with that sucker Evil Ludo from France. He have riped me and several others off, by not return what we ordered. I suppose he’s a medical sensation, as I didn’t know it was physical or psychical possible to live without a brain”

Why am I telling you all of this, when this is only meant to be a transcript of an interview with Euronymous, you may be asking? Because I find it funny, that’s why.

Anyhow, the Euronymous here acts and feels very differently from the Euronymous of the last interview I posted. However, I hope you’ll still enjoy it, and I hope you’re able to appreciate the tiny glimpses of humanity talking to a close friend allowed him, even though they both behave like complete asses. Even though it’s hard to sympathize with him at points.

Like last time, any (sparse) commentary will be between (parenthesis) and in bold. Without further ado, let’s get into it.

.

F: Well, how in hell shall one be able to come up with an intro worthy enough for this band? The words I wanna describe Mayhem’s music with, is not yet created, and it won’t be created either, because no one has really experienced the real darkness and pure brutality with lays behind Mayhem’s hellish sound, but I suppose you all are familiar with this band anyway. Well, in the first place, I hadn’t really thought to enclose this band in this issue, because if we look away from rereleases of old demos (“Pure Fucking Armageddon”) and live tapes, it’s a pretty long time since their last release (in ‘87 that was). I thought I rather should interview them when they released their forthcoming album “Dee Mysteriis Dom Sathanas”, but due to the circumstances, I realised the time was right for an interview now. I won’t bother you with any history shit, but I could tell a bit about what has happened last year. You all know that their vocalist Dead comited suicude in April ‘91, that was a bigg loss for the underground, and I suppose I don’t need to say that this mag is dedicated to the memory of that infernal man. Anyway, Dead was replaced by Cultòcùlus (back then called Occultus), but due to different problems within the band, he left the band in January ‘92, but let’s not say more about that, as Euronymous didn’t want me to say anything about it at all (but Euronymous, you must admit that it has sounded pretty artificial if I hadn’t mentioned it at all). So now, the band consists of Hellhammer (drums) and Euronymous (guitar (and probably bass too)). I know the singer of Tormentor (rip) from Hungary (Esihar Attila) is interested in singing on the album, and also even moving to Norway, so it seems like Mayhem got some sort of predilection to foreign vocalists, but this Hungarian guy happend to be a good one as well, so never mind that. But I don’t think this is official, so don’t tell anyone you read it here, ok? Well then, it’s an honour for me to dedicate the next following pages to one of today’s most legendary and infamous bands......... THE TRUE MAYHEM!!!!!!!

F: First of all Euronymous, I know you and Dead live/lived totally for the old black metal attitude. Is your hate now total to young and trendy bands after Dead’s suicide?

Euro: YES, we have declared WAR. Dead died because the trend people have destroyed everything from the old black metal/death metal scene, today “death” metal is something normal, accepted and FUNNY (argh) and we HATE it. It used to be spikes, nites, chains, leather and black clothes, and this was the only thing Dead lived for as he hated this world and everything which lives on it. If we had the economic possibility to do it, we should meet up at concerts and beat up ALL trend people ALL the time untill they would be too scared to go to concerts at all, now we need to suck their money instead. It’s impossible to stop the trend no matter how much we want, we have to do the best out of it and sell lots of trend shit to them. (I don’t need to tell you that that’s totally not why Dead killed himself, right?)

F: In the spring of ‘91 you started up a shop in Oslo which sells all sorts of music within metal. Is there anything you can tell us about the shop (ideas? plans?)?

Euro: Well, the original idea was to make a specialist shop for metal in general, but that’s a long time ago. Normal metal isn’t very popular anymore, all the children are listening to “death” metal now, I’d rather be selling Judas Priest than Napalm Death, but at least now we can be specialized within “death” metal and make a shop where all the trend people know that they will find all the trend music, this will help us earning money so that we can order more EVIL records to the evil people. But no matter how shitty music we have to sell, we’ll make a BLACK METAL look on the shop, we’ve had a couple of “actions” in churches lately, and the shop is going to look like a black church in the future. We’ve also thought about having total darkness inside, so that would would have to carry torches to be able to see the records.

F: Well, how is the situation all in all in the Mayhem camp right now?

Euro: Difficult as usual, but we’re closer than ever to record the Mayhem lp. Almost all the material is completed, then I and Hellhammer will record the whole thing with 3 guitars, 2 basses and so on. It will be very massive. Who’s to sing on the lp is not yet decided, we’ll wait and see what happens. We have several people who can do the job very well.

F: As Metalion of Slayer mag* said: “it seems like you at certain times lives on the edge of starvation”. Have you ever been on the thought to just give up the whole band and become a normal 9 to 5 person, or is this a completely stupid question to ask?

Euro: It has been very hard at times, but I am not a normal person anyway so it would just not be possible to do that. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why things are as they are (this answer will be long) (that’s okay for me/Ed). The reason why we don’t have any money, is because of hardcore. We have for too long been following the “underground” rules, which say that you must hate money, you must not think you are anything, you must be open-minded, you might have a lot of attitudes and so on. Extremely stupid. But the situation has been that if you don’t follow these rules which are made by hardcore pigs, you are not accepted as a death metal or black metal band! Then you MUST be signed by some big label to be able to make some money, and we’ve never wanted to do that. Then you would anyway be labelled as “commercial” by the HC pigs. This has caused that after 8 years, we are still as broke as ever, while the HC pigs themselves are controlling all labels, and they sign only the bands which fit into their own idiotic world, that means “death” metal bands with society lyrics and jogging suits, and this is what the people see when they grow up. They don’t see any EVIL bands with spikes, as we did. Well, I’m tired about being broke, just to be “underground”. I’m tired of not having money to eat for just because tons of people will call you a “rip-off” if you don’t write 20 letters each day. It’s time to say fuck off to the whole system, which is built to strangle the evil bands in the birth. We must start taking inspirations from the ancient ones, from Venom and their likes. They did their thing BIG, and they never had to think about any idiotic underground rules. They did it big and so must we, but it must never become a trend, it must become a CULT. This is why we have started on a brand new policy with the band and the record label. It’s about time that someone makes a label for black metal and other grim music, and STRIKE BACK. There is NO reason why DSP shouldn’t be as big as Peaceville or Nuclear Blast, if we can just get the business on its feet again and get good distribution. That’s the only way to compete with the HC labels. It’s about time we start taking control over our own scene. We must spread the EVIL bands and pervert people’s souls.

F: What about the Norwegian scene then? Don’t you think that something is terribly wrong when it have gone so far that we have a christian “death metal” band here (Crush Evil)? Advices on how we should kill them?

Euro: First of all— the Norwegian scene is the BEST. There are a lot of GREAT bands (yet with no album out) and of course some shitty trend bands, but nothing as in Sweden. There you have 2-3 good bands out of 100, while here we have a few shit bands who hardly have made even a demo, while all the great bands will make records in the near future. Such as Darkthrone, Burzum, Immortal, Thorns (I’m flattered/ED*), Arcturus, Enslaved and newer bands like Malfeitor and others which I have not yet heard. BUT— when it comes to bands like Crush Evil, we must take serious action. It’s bad enough to have a couple of society bands, but a CHRISTIAN band is too much. But don’t worry, we have plans. They will not continue for a very long time.

F: And now over to something more humouristic....yes.... snuff movies. Who had been the perfect actor for a snuff movie, and why the hell aren’t they legalized? Don’t you think that every video-store should have its own section with snuff-movies?

Euro: Actually I think it’s great that movies like that are forbidden. If they were legal and easily accessible, all the small trend children would be watching them, and then it would not be something extreme anymore (I’m not sure if I agree with you here Euronymous. Snuff movies are usually too raw and brutal for the people with their “peace and life” infected minds. Remember the HC rules/ED) (shut the fuck up, Faust*) It’s just the same what happened to death metal— it became something everyone could buy in every store, something normal and accessible for everyone. All the mystic and evil atmosphere is GONE. I do not think snuff-movies are funny, I think they are DARK. I’ve seen people laugh at them, but that’s probably because they will not be mentally able to take the PAIN and EVIL on over themselves. That is the best way to watch such a movie, to try to FEEL the actual pain of the victims. It becomes much more gruesome then, and that’s great. One must be alone in the darkness and suffer with the victims, if you watch it with other people, they will often talk, laugh and so on, and then you get more distanced from it, it’s not supposed to be funny (death to fun), it’s much better when it’s depressive.

F: Through the years you have been talking about releasing bands like Samael, Rotting Christ, Master’s Hammer, Tormentor, Matricide, Imperator, Massacre etc. on Deathlike Silence Prod., but now some of these bands have released lp’s on labels which only have money in their eyes and know that black metal sells. Doesn’t that frustrate you, and don’t you feel it like the time is running out for you?

Euro: It’s a bit frustrating, but it is also a result of trying to be “underground” which is a suicide policy. Anyway, the main thing is that these evil records get released at all, and not who’s releasing them. We will probably release a record with Tormentor, they’re split up, but they still want to make their Anno Domini demo on vinyl, and we’ll try to fix it within the summer. The time is not running out, because there are a lot of really evil bands around. — most of the Norwegian bands which other labels haven’t heard about. Burzum is ten times better than all the bands on Earache together, and so are Thorns and Arcturus. So there is no problem, really. As for bands like Rotting Christ and Master’s Hammer, we might do something in the future instead. I’ve never been talking with Samael about any deal, but I wish I had as their album is FUCKING GREAT.

F: Almost all bands in the underground today says that they think they got their own style and originality, but the fact is that 95% of the bands sounds totally the same. What is an original death metal band today?

Euro: There exists no death metal bands today. There are only a handful of (mostly great) bands (in case someone hadn’t got it right— black metal has nothing to do with the music itself, both Blasphemy and Mercyful Fate are black metal. It’s the LYRICS, and they must be SATANIC. If not, it is NOT black metal) and what we choose to call LIFE METAL bands. Take a band like Therion. Their music is quite ok, it’s actually one of the best Swedish bands (even though that doesn’t say much) but their lyrics STINK. They are about society and pollution, what the fuck has that got to do with DEATH? If a band cultivates and worships death, then it’s death metal, no matter what KIND of metal it is. If a band cultivates and worships Satan, it’s black metal. And by saying “cultivates death”, I don’t think about thinking it’s funny, or being into gore, I’m thinking about being able to KILL just because they HATE LIFE. it’s people who enjoy to see wars because a lot of people get killed. How many bands think that way? Not many. I can’t think of one.

F: You’re maybe not the most active band when it comes to gigs, but at least you’ve managed to tour Germany and Turkey. What can you tell us from the tour, and is there any new gigs planed?

Euro: That tour was a big mess, we’ll NEVER take the train again! We lost quite some money, but still it was great to get to East-Germany and Turkey. The memories of the tour consist mostly of the starvation and idiotic custom officers, but still I wouldn’t like to have missed the opportunity. We don’t have any concrete plans, we’ll see happens in the future. We don’t like to play for a lot of trendies in jogging suits, so we prefer to leave it be.

F: What do you think of the fact that death metal has been on MTV?

Euro: It sucks. But it isn’t death metal anyway, so....

F: I know that you will soon release the debut album of Abruptum on DSP, so, what can you tell us about it?

Euro: It’s EVIL. It’s PURE EVIL, they were torturing each other in studio DURING the recording and you can HEAR on the music how they SUFFER. It will be the most demented record EVER, and it’s NOT for normal people. This is music which NEVER can become trendy, because normal people won’t be able to understand it. And that’s great. The price for the album it’ll be the same as for the BURZUM lp, which should be somewhere else in this ‘zine*. It’s called “Obscuriratem Advoco Amplèctere Me”, and stay away from it if you don’t like pure DARKNESS.

F: Don’t you think that people in the underground should respect others ideas and views more? I mean, it’s not accepted to spread unpopular thoughts. It seems like there is some sort of guardians of morality and most people keep in mind not to say or do anything which is not accepted by the public.

Euro: I don’t think people should respect each other. I don’t want to see trend people respecting me, I want them to HATE and FEAR. If people don’t accept our ideas as their own, they can fuck off because then they belong to a musical scene which has NOTHING to do with ours. They could just as well be Madonna fans. There is an ABYSS between us and the rest. Remember— one of the HC rules is that you must be open-minded (except for themselves), so we must be careful and avoid being open-minded ourselves. The HC pigs have correctly made themselves guardians of morality, but we must kick them in the face and become guardians of anti-morality.

F: You say you want your riffs to have a dark mood and really sound evil, but what if you came up with a riff which just sounded good, but not evil. Would you use it then?

Euro: Well, if a riff sounds good to me, it mostly means that it sounds evil too. At least when I make the music myself. Haven’t really thought about this about this before.

F: Do you think you’ve been playing this sort of music today if it weren’t for those old bands like Mercyful Fate, Venom and Hellhammer?

Euro: It’s impossible to say. Venom and the other ancient ones have been fundamental influences on Mayhem, and also the direct reason of the band’s existence. We like to think that if they hadn’t started up this, we would have, but who knows? Doesn’t really matter anyway, we hail ancient Venom as the CREATORS.

F: Ok, no more questions at the moment. End the interview in what way you want......

Euro: Perhaps it should be mentioned that well re-release the MAYHEM mini-lp “Deathcrush” VERY soon. We also have t-shirts available now. People should write for prices on things. Be EVIL, not open-minded.

Ok, I suppose some of you already know that Euronymous started up a shop in Oslo in the spring of ‘91. The shop is called “HELVETE” (which is Norwegian and means “HELL”) and are specialized within underground stuff and death metal in general (though he also have some other styles of music there). As he said in the MAYHEM interview, the shop really have a black metal look, so if you ever visit Oslo, I really recommend you to visit “HELVETE” as well. I think it’s good that people take the initiative to start up with such things, because if everyone were just passive, we would all get ruined by poser-shops like Hot Records where they take 140 NKR for the Earache albums (which you in “HELVETE” can get a CD for the same price). Euronymous also sells though mail, so write and ask for a list or something: HELVETE, Schweigaardsgt. 56, 0656 Oslo. NORWAY.”

That’s all! :)

And now for the things I put in asterisks, in order of their appearances.

*If for some reason you actually don’t know who Faust is, he was the drummer on the Emperor LP and “In The Nightside Eclipse” but you might also know him from other great hits such as “threatening to kill Mortiis from prison whilst simultaneously attempting to plead murder of the secondth degree”, “I’m glad the people Euronymous ripped off won’t get their money back because he’s dead hA hA!”, “I got fourteen years for murder because I’m a socially inept virgin— oops” and “bad... bad lyrics who’s quality somehow don’t improve with the passing of time”. All jokes are done in good humour— if it seems like I dislike him, it’s not that at all. I just find him easy to make fun of.

Here is another short bio, this one less sarcastic: he was born in Trondheim, lived around Kvikne, and Lillehammer, worked at Helvete, was a close friend of Euro’s, and has his sun in Taurus.

He also beefed with Glen Benton for dissing the Party City cape (Note: of course I’m being extremely reductive) he and Euronymous seemed to share. Here are a few pictures of Faust:

Here is the infamous Party City cape:

*This was surprisingly hard to find. I think he read it in a mag or something. Here’s a link to where you can find it: https://issuu.com/davidgamble/docs/paranormal37/3 page 64-65.

*Slayer mag was another zine, this one by a bloke named Metalion, who was Euro’s best friend.

*Faust (who felt the strange need to make a distinction between himself, the editor, and himself, the interviewer) also played in Thorns (well, Stigma Diabolicum), under the hilarious moniker: Fetophagia✨

*He’s being a fucking idiot, what was I supposed to say? It should be noted that Faust actually went down for the snuff films too.....

*In case you’re interested, for whatever reason, the prices for the Burzum LP were as follows:

Norge— 130 NKR

Norden— 100 K

Finland— 60 FN

Island— 1000 IK

Europe— 15$

Outside Europe,

Overseas— 15 $

Air— 22$

East Europe— 10$

By ‘norden’ he presumably meant ‘northern Norway’, and “Island” is the Norwegian word for Iceland. Notice the way he doesn’t include Sweden! (Edit: Originally I thought he didn’t include Finland because there was a black metal war with them as well, but it seems as though that feud came a bit later or had already passed)

That’s all, for real this time!

Legal disclaimer: I am absolutely, in no way shape or form, claiming that the stupid cape you see them wearing is literally from Party City. From my limited research, I’ve gathered that the Party City chain hasn’t yet opened its doors in the beautiful and glorious country we know as Norway— Norge. However, I am saying that the cheap, dinky piece of cloth covering their backs and shoulders are of the same kind of shitty quality you’d expect from a Party City Count Dracula costume and that maybe Glen had a point about how stupid Euronymous (and Faust) must’ve looked.......

[rainbowsky]

am i the only one who thinks turtles are reading too much into the budweiser ad? the stories are literally different/separate and some pronouns are even ‘she’ but they only choose to see their ‘clues’. heck even the photo is something up to interpretation. i’m a turtle myself but i find this aspect of the fandom displeasing. the majority of us always tries to link gg & dd in everything we find. it’s so stupid and annoying.

I think it's easy to over-interpret fans' enthusiasm and 🤡 around things like this. It is true that on Twitter there's some pretty outrageous foolishness about things like this, but for the most part people are just musing about some of the connections that they see.

It's also not completely impossible that these types of connections were intentional. Keep in mind that Budweiser, and in particular this product that GG endorses, is heavily marketed to younger generations and regularly uses queer marketing.

GG is associated with a very popular queer CP, and it is entirely possible that those involved in creating this campaign encoded some of those elements to appeal to CP fans. BXG are known to have pretty deep pockets and to show up for GG and DD's brands. They are also known to look through advertising campaigns for this kind of thing.

This is a Valentine's campaign that is intentionally including queer love stories. It's not completely outside the realm of possibility that they have specifically decided to try to appeal to CP fans among other target audiences.

Even if there was not a formal intention to appeal to CP fans, it's also possible that somebody in the marketing department is a turtle, and when writing the love story of the 29 year old with a 6 year age difference relationship, they chose those numbers for sentimental reasons of their own.

It's also easy to misunderstand what people are getting excited about. For example, the recent ask I answered about the love stories Budweiser launched on WeChat, I thought people were trying to connect the stories together into one narrative when it seems that actually they were just excited about the fact that some of the stories were queer ones.

When I was still a fairly new turtle I used to scoff at things like this and make really scathing negative comments about it and act all holier-than-thou because I didn't get caught up in any of this. That ended up biting me in the ass when a lot of the things that I had made fun of later proved to be true.

So before you get all worked up about what other people are saying and doing online, I would recommend taking a few deep breaths and realize that:

Rather than sneering at people for behaving in ways that we do not like, it's always within our power to block and ignore the people whose approach we do not respect.

It's always possible that we are the ones who are wrong, and that people are on to something. Don't be so quick to dismiss it, because I have been proved wrong many times myself. And I love washing candy.

Clowning is just that; clowning. People are just having fun. Nothing that they are doing is harmful, so if it's not fun for you then I urge you to scroll by and live and let live.

Painting everyone with such a broad brush is never a good idea either. There are plenty of BXG who just quietly ignore the things that they don't like, there are plenty of BXG who don't go looking for candy in everything connected with GG and DD. Not all turtles are into this stuff. Not even close.

Anyway, I hope this doesn't come across as harsh or pushing back too hard on what you were saying, I just really think that it's important for us to err on the side of kindness and understanding. Let people have their fun. It's harmless. We are living in apocalyptic times right now, and people are just having a little bit of fun. This type of thing really has almost no potential to cause any harm.