#but whatever. its not a good show but i am enjoying it. its just kinda cursed

[lvis44]

Cabin Fever - Pt. 3 // LH44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol Consumption, Angst, Lewis being an ass, allusions to mental health struggles, 18+ MINORS DNI, not edited

Word Count: 5.3k+

Summary: He's your Sister in Laws best friend, you shouldn't even have to deal with him. Always seeming like a cocky arrogant prick, and now here he is crashing your family Christmas. Can you handle a full week of Lewis Hamilton? Or might he not actually be as bad as he seems?

Notes: A bit more drama for you guys tonight but this is nothing compared to what we've got coming up, oopsie lol. Hoping to get the next part out quickly so it kinda aligns with the holidays in real time! I would also formally like to start an important conversation about why the hell this man only seems to own winter jackets the color of a highlighter (im sure it's for safety when snowboarding but pls). I love you all and I'm so happy you guys are enjoying our angsty little Christmas fic!

As always, I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy!

**italics are a jump back in time**

The moment you make your way downstairs the next morning you are ready to turn and run back up to your room. You can hear everyone in the kitchen already, much to your surprise. Their voices are much louder than you would have wanted but you carry on, aware that the only way you’re getting coffee is by showing your face in there.

“Well good morning sleepy head! I was wondering when you’d show up.” Your dad greets you warmly.

“Hey I was up long before any of you yesterday.” You argue as he pulls you into a side hug.

“I do believe I was up before you.” Lewis pipes up with a smirk.

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” You grumble, trying to conceal the roll of your eyes but when you meet Lewis’ gaze you know you’ve failed, “I need coffee, lots of it.”

Tom laughs from over at the coffee bar where he seems to be making himself some sort of fancy espresso, “Coming right up.”

You thank him, taking a seat next to your brother at the island, watching the chaos ensuing on the other side of the kitchen. Your mother, Beatrice, and Vanessa are in what seems to be party planning mode. They’re rummaging through cupboards and running back and forth to the fridge, Vanessa has a notebook out creating some sort of list, Beatrice is loudly reading some recipe from her phone.

“How long has this been going on?” You ask the men at the counter, trying to keep your voice low.

“About twenty minutes, they’ve probably got another twenty in them.” Lewis says, picking up his coffee and watching the scene himself.

You let out a deep breath, already exhausted by the amount of energy flowing through the room, praying you don’t somehow get sucked into it as well.

“Y/N, thank goodness you’re up!” Vanessa says excitedly, finally noticing your presence on one of her trips around the kitchen.

“Good Morning.” You respond softly, trying not to allow any chance of being roped into whatever is going on.

“So,” Vanessa's voice comes out chipper and matter of fact as she puts her palms down on the counter, evidently ready to give you the full run down, “I felt so bad yesterday, I had so many things planned for a fancy breakfast and the weather just had to ruin it all so I really want to make up for all of it today. Thank you again for pulling that off yesterday, I was so grateful, but I want a big fancy family brunch, we haven't had one in so so long and I’ve been thinking about it since I started planning this trip. And I don’t want it to be our Christmas morning brunch, I want it to be its own special moment, ya know?”

You can tell that your eyebrows have gotten higher on your forehead with every word that she has said, speaking faster than you could ever comprehend at the early hour. You hear your brother take a deep breath from next to you as Lewis chuckles lowly.

“I’m sure it will be wonderful, very talented ladies doing the cooking.” Tom tells his daughter before setting a delicious smelling cup of coffee down in front of you, “Here you go Y/N.”

“Thank you, it smells fantastic.” You say sincerely, happily wrapping your chilly hands around the warm cup.

“It better, I brought my own beans and everything. That should be the best cup of coffee you’ve had in your life.” He tells you proudly.

“It was a phenomenal cup of coffee.” Lewis says with an amused smile on his face, one that Tom seems to read as more genuine than you think it really is.

“Very good, very very good.” Dylan is quickly agreeing.

“Now listen,” Vanessa’s voice is quick to grab your attention again, “you did such an amazing job yesterday with breakfast and then helping with all the storm cleanup,”

Before she can finish Lewis lets out a sound halfway between a laugh and a scoff, cutting her off, “I don’t know if I would call whatever she was doing yesterday helping.” His voice is muffled by the rim of his coffee mug but you can hear the cheek to his voice, more teasing than the jabby tone it usually carries for you, you assume it's because of the current company.

You open your mouth to defend yourself but your brother is joining in quickly, “I mean she made a valiant effort but I do think I have to agree with Lewis on this one.” He’s laughing as he pinches at your side.

You try to find the right words to argue your defense but you realize you really can’t, thinking back to your ways of helping the day before. 

You had started strong, initially heading out after breakfast to try to clean up all the branches that had been blown into the yard, that lasted for only twenty minutes before Lewis and Dylan were getting the plow and skidoo out of the garage. Once the big toys were out you had no more interest in your handheld rake and shovel. You had gone over to inspect the new fun equipment but were quickly shooed away by both Lewis and your brother, both claiming you were going to get in the way and possibly end up hurting yourself. You had accepted defeat, heading back to your sad pile of branches before once again getting quite distracted by the fun sound of the engine on the skidoo. You had done your best to act as if you were still working but you had ended up watching Lewis zip around the yard for much longer than you would have liked to admit. There was something about his level of both control and chaos behind the handlebars that scratched your brain just right and it irked you and brought you immense satisfaction all at once. Once your brother had gotten into the swing of plowing, Lewis following him down the hill to keep Vanessa's mind at ease, you had gotten back to your sad attempt at branch removal, by the time they made it back up to the house you were collecting your armful. 

“Y/N you do know that it’s been a full hour and you don’t even have enough sticks to make a mouse a campfire, right?” Lewis had taunted you when he saw you walking across the driveway as he removed his goggles, your brother laughing as he hopped out of the plow.

“Oh fuck off, at least I was doing something, you were just joyriding.” You said sassily, quickly changing course so you weren’t walking directly past him.

“I,” He started, his voice long and drawn out to dramatically make his point, “was keeping your brother safe. The buddy system is very important, you know.”

“A knight in shining,” You started to say but before you could get the whole sentence out you were falling flat on your ass, your abysmal stick pile flying everywhere.

“Woah Y/N, shit you alright?” Your brother was quick to react, leaving his open truck door to run over to you.

“You’ve gotta be kidding.” Lewis huffed out, also quickly making his way over to you.

They had both been there within an instant, squatting next to you to make sure you were alright. Your brother was handling you like fine china even though he could tell you were okay, Lewis however was immediately giving you shit.

“You do realize we’ve been here for like twelve hours and this is the second time you’ve fallen in front of me, right?” The tone of his voice was unamused despite offering you his hand to help pull you up.

“I did not fall last night.” You had tried to defend yourself as he got you to your feet, your brother still giving you a worried look like he thought you had secretly broken something.

“Because I caught you.” He had quickly pointed out.

“Whatever.” You grumbled as you bent down to collect your stick pile, admittedly leaving a good half of them behind before once again heading toward your brother's brush pile off by the shed. Before you could even make it half way, a very well aimed snowball was colliding with your ass cheek, once again knocking the sticks out of your arms. 

“I am going to fucking kill you.’ You had exclaimed loudly, quickly gathering a large armload of snow to form into your own snowball before turning around and whipping it in their direction. You ended up hitting your brother, immediately feeling a little bad because you assumed it had come from Lewis in the first place. Lewis let out a cackle when the snowball hit your brother, evidently pleased that he hadn’t been the one to get in trouble.

“Oh hell no, that was meant for you.” Dylan had said, also laughing but incredibly serious, his own snowball already being packed tightly to whip at Lewis. Much to your pleasure, Dylan was much closer to Lewis and was much stronger than you so you could tell the impact didn’t feel amazing when it finally slapped into his chest.

“I just thought you should put some ice on it after that fall, I was trying to be helpful.” Lewis laughed as he put his arms up to guard himself from any further snowballs being sent his way. You and your brother exchanged a look, both of you loading up again, hurling snow in Lewis’ direction.

He screamed as he turned to run, his snow gear making him much less agile than he would normally be. He had finally found steady footing, his own snowballs being sent in both of your directions, all three of you in a fit of laughter. Somewhere along the line your alliance with your brother had crumbled, his snowballs being sent your way as well, no longer reserved for just Lewis. By the time you finally called truce you had all been absolutely soaked, your stomachs hurting from laughing so hard and your pile of sticks long forgotten. When you made your way back to the house you had found yourself very surprised at how playful and fun that time with Lewis had been but you decided that it must have been a bit of a fluke, knowing it wouldn’t last the rest of the day.

You try to think of a way to argue your defense but you have to admit to yourself that you really can’t, you truthfully didn’t do any actual storm cleanup yesterday.

“It’s the thought that counts, I tried.” You grumble into your mug as the two men laugh.

“Well, either way, you absolutely slayed it with breakfast and putting up with them,” Vanessa gives you a smirk, trying to take away their ammunition, “so I want you to just relax this morning, Moms and I will take care of all things brunch, you just enjoy the pretty scenery and your amazing coffee.”

You smile at her, mouthing a thank you, grateful that you are not expected to be part of the brunch circus that is unfolding in the kitchen before you. Your mother and Beatrice are still frantically figuring out if they have everything for some recipe that they have selected. You sit back, watching as Vanessa returns to her chaos with your mothers, seeming weirdly at home within it. Tom and your father begin loudly discussing just where Tom is sourcing his coffee beans, raising the volume of the kitchen just that much more. You go to turn to your brother, only to find him standing from his seat to rinse out his coffee cup. Lewis is grabbing his phone and eagerly taking a call, leaving the room rapidly. You let out a sigh, choosing to make your way into the den with your coffee, hoping for some level of peace in there. The room is cozy, a fire already going and a light snow falling outside the large windows. You try to settle into one of the plush couches but as you sit there you feel yourself growing more and more aggravated. On one side you can hear your family in the kitchen, all talking loudly about different subjects that don’t even meld together into anything coherent, on the other side you can hear Lewis’ muffled voice on the phone. You can’t actually make out anything that he’s speaking about but the low timbre is enough to be disruptive. You find it hard to believe that in a house of this size you can’t find any silence, yet here you are, you shouldn’t be shocked with it being your family. You decide you can only take so much and come to the conclusion that you would rather be out in the cold and quiet than in here with the chatter. You take your coffee and head off to the foyer to find your winter gear to bundle up, the better idea of just going to your room nowhere to be seen in your head. You get as cozy as possible, grabbing a blanket out of the den before heading back to the kitchen.

“I think I’m just gonna go sit out back for a little while and appreciate the view while I have my coffee.” You awkwardly announce as you make your way to the backdoor, raising your blanket in your hand as you do.

“That sounds absolutely lovely, enjoy yourself!” Beatrice exclaims, overly enthusiastic about your plans.

When you first step out of the house you begin to question your plans, the cold air immediately hitting your face and wrapping you in an unforgiving cocoon, but the moment the door closes behind you, you’re at peace. The door seals your family and their loud chatter away wonderfully, just the gentle howl of the wind and small noises of things falling in the forest left to be heard. You make your way across the covered deck, settling into one of the luxurious outdoor couches overlooking the large backyard and forest. You snuggle as far as possible into your blanket, trying to keep as much of your body heat as possible. You can feel a deep sigh leave your body as you take in your surroundings, admitting to yourself that as much as you hate winter, you do love the beauty of the blanketing of snow. You sit in silence for a while, just sipping your coffee and enjoying the peaceful way the world is waking up, the snow falling gently. It sadly doesn’t take long for your silence to be interrupted, the door opening behind you. You let out a huff when you see who is making their way outdoors.

“Ocupado.” You say sassily as you turn your attention back out to the view in front of you.

Lewis just scoffs, making his way over to sit on one of the couches near you.

“Seriously, I just need some silence. Do you have nowhere else to go?” You groan childishly, seeing him settling into his seat.

“I let you get warm in front of my fire yesterday, I think you can share the silence of your deck with me now.” He says, his voice just as sassy.

You go to argue with him, wanting to tell him that it’s not the same and his fire was in the den, a common area, but you quickly realize that this too is a common area that you have no monopoly over. You decide to bite your tongue, rolling your eyes as he settles deeper into the couch, pulling his phone out. You decide to do the same, feeling awkward staring into the trees now that you have company. It doesn’t take long before the first post from a friend is popping up on your feed. She is back in California, a small party dress on that would have you getting hypothermia here. The post is about a party that you had known would be happening, a fun Christmas get together with a bunch of your friends that you would have loved to have been at, carefree and ridiculous fun. You let out a huff as you scroll through her post, the fomo eating you alive as you do so.

“Thought you wanted silence.” Lewis grumbles from his spot at the sound of your huff, his voice already laced with annoyance. 

“So sorry to disturb you, your highness.” You fire back at him sarcastically.

“It’s just sir, I’m a knight, not technically royalty.” He replies, his voice so cocky that it makes you want to smack him, only stopping when you see the slightly teasing smirk on his face.

You roll your eyes again, not even having the energy to come up with something witty to say back to him in the moment.

“Seriously though, what’s got you in such a mood?” He asks, sounding genuinely curious, much to your surprise. 

“I’m not in a mood.” You mutter, burrowing further into your blanket, your attention back on your phone.

He lets out a chuckle at your response, “Yeah the huffing and puffing really sells that narrative well.”

“Oh shut up, you know I don’t particularly want to be here, just let it go.” You say quietly, not wanting your family to hear your disdain for your surroundings.

“I know, and me being here probably isn’t helping that, but it seemed like there was something else going on. Thought you saw something that was upsetting you.” He says casually, shrugging like it’s a normal conversation for the two of you to be having.

You’re taken aback by his casual and genuinely curious nature, not being used to anything like this from Lewis. It takes your guard down, quicker than it should. You let out a sigh, deciding, against your better judgement, to confide in him a little bit. You know he could come back with some level of snippy remark but you were prepared for that, maybe he would actually have a normal conversation with you for once. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but seeing everyone enjoying their lives as adults and doing what they want, where they want, I don’t know, it’s just driving me a bit insane.” You divulge, not getting your point across in quite the way you meant to.

He raises an eyebrow at you, evidently rather confused by what you mean, “I mean, you’re an adult, you spend 99% of the year doing what you want, where you want. What’s the problem?”

You just shake your head, deciding to instead show him the post that caused the initial huff. You watch as his brows furrow while he scrolls through the instagram post you handed him. Quickly his face turns from curious to judgemental. It’s his turn to roll his eyes as he finally hands you your phone back.

“So you’d rather be back in the smog of LA where you can’t even tell it’s Christmas, dressed in a skimpy dress with your friends? You’d prefer that to fresh mountain air, a white Christmas, and your family that loves you?” His tone is belittling as he reads the situation completely incorrectly, his questions coming out more as statements, as if nothing that you say now will change his mind.

Your jaw drops at the accusation, a loud scoff leaving your throat as you snatch your phone back from him, “How dare you, that was not the point I was trying to make.” You begin to argue before he’s cutting you off.

“You see those people all the time Y/N, how often do you see any of your family?” He raises his brow in challenge but doesn’t give you time to formulate a response before he’s carrying on, “We all know you don’t want to be here, just suck it up, a little bit of winter mountain air and family time isn’t going to kill you.” He doesn’t wait for a rebuttal, he just stands from his seat as if he’s just finished reprimanding a child and walks away, back inside.

He leaves you in your seat, silent and fuming but also leaving you feeling a tad guilty. He is correct, you don’t want to be here, but it has nothing to do with you preferring to be out in a skimpy dress in LA, it’s about your freedom. Having the freedom to do as you please and be where you want, something you haven’t had a ton of in your life. You hate that everyone knows that you would prefer to be somewhere else, making you feel as if you’re almost a burden. You hate that Lewis feels that he has the right to make such deep assumptions about you and treat them as fact and you hate even more that he feels he has the right to lecture you based on those assumptions. 

You end up staying out on the back deck much longer than you had originally planned, only finally making your way back indoors when Vanessa announces that brunch is served. You do your best to ignore him, not even looking in his direction. Instead you spend most of brunch quizzing Vanessa on things about her brunch that in all honesty you aren’t particularly interested in, but listening to Vanessa explain how he gets her eggs to fluffy is much better than having to even think about dealing with the man sitting at the other end of the table.

It irks you that you can hear him chatting so freely and happily down the table, as if he hadn’t accosted you on the porch mere hours beforehand. You find yourself already making a plan for escape before you’ve even cleared your plate.

Avoiding him throughout the rest of the day ends up being shockingly easy. You take an extra long time getting ready before helping Vanessa and your mom with some last minute gift wrapping. You can’t help but laugh when you see that Vanessa's “last minute stuff” actually appears to be a majority of her gifts, but you don’t complain, knowing it will take up more of your time, and in turn help in your game of avoidance. You can hear Lewis chatting off in the distance, your father quizzing him eagerly on his car collection after hearing he added something new. Lewis gushed with ease, thoroughly entertaining your fathers questions and while it could be considered a nice conversation you felt like it sounded arrogant, flashy. 

“Boys and their toys.” Your mom muttered with a laugh, also listening to bits of the conversation, your father now seemingly showing Lewis photos of a car he had back in the nineties.

“Tell me about it, I couldn’t for the life of me get Dylan out of that plow truck when we first bought it and the snow hadn’t even fallen yet.” Vanessa exclaims, shaking her head.

You just laugh as you lean back to stare out the window for a moment, admiring the way the world is beginning to turn blue as the sun goes down. As if he’s noticed it getting dark at the very same moment, Dylan is bursting into the room talking about Christmas lights.

“Get out, we are not finished in here Mr.” Vanessa is quickly squealing, throwing her body in front of the few remaining unwrapped gifts.

“Okay, okay,” Dylan laughs, throwing his hand over his eyes before continuing, “What I was saying is the lights in the forest look like they stayed up through the storm! It’s getting dark so I was hoping we could all take a walk out there, it’ll be beautiful.”

“That sounds nice Dyl, give us just a little time to get ready.” You say softly, eager to see the lights that have your brother so excited.

“Sweet, I’ll go let the guys know.” He says like a little kid, whipping around to go inform them of the new plans.

“He made an absolute wonderland out there, you guys are going to love it.” Vanessa says, already standing up to collect the remaining wrapping paper, shoving things away like she’s now on a time crunch.

You take that as your sign to go change and get ready for a winter walk. When you go to head upstairs you finally cross paths with Lewis who seems to be headed to his own room, you pause for a moment before flicking your gaze away and trying to move past him.

“Joining us on the walk?” He asks, his voice cold, sounding like he’s expectant of a no.

“Uh, yeah, of course.” You waver slightly, caught off guard that he had any words for you at all. You wished your voice had come out stronger, not wanting him to feel like he had any sort of upperhand, that he had gotten under your skin.

He does actually look surprised, his eyebrows twitching up in a certain judgemental look of disbelief before he is once again turning on his heel. He doesn’t say a word, just walks away to his bedroom.

When you make your way back downstairs, everyone is there and waiting. Dylan is animatedly explaining how he set up with power for the lights and how they follow all of the groomed paths in a certain pattern. Once he notices that you’re there he is directing everyone to follow him to the back yard, still explaining his tree lighting process on the way. You can’t help the grimace that leaves your body when you step outside, the temperature having dropped drastically since you were out here earlier. You try to just burrow further into your coat, not wanting to complain after being made so aware of your attitude earlier today.

As you wander the paths you find yourself mesmerized, Vanessa was right about the absolute wonderland of it all. The glittery lights look like stars, spanning higher up trees than you would like to think about your brother being, but regardless they are breathtaking. You find yourself falling away from the group a bit, too caught up in admiring the gorgeous trees and trying to keep as much of your warmth in as possible. Your family carries on walking, unaware of your sudden slow pace, Lewis however seems to notice and slows down himself. So much that you almost trip over him, having been blissfully unaware of his presence.

“You okay?” He asks you when you’re steady on your feet.

“I’m just fine Lewis.” Your voice is as cold as the outdoor air as you avoid looking in his direction.

“Well, from where I’m standing, you’re shaking like a leaf.” His tone has lost its earlier harshness but still carries that bit of arrogance as you catch him smirking at you out of the corner of your eye.

“Just wore the wrong jacket, I’ll be fine.” You argue, keeping your voice short but still pulling your thin jacket tighter. You're mentally cursing yourself for not having worn your puffer.

“Do you want to head back? I’ll walk with you.” His offer catches you off guard, his voice sincere and almost kind as he continues to stare at you, the smirk gone.

“I’m fine,” You say yet again, your voice slightly quieter now, “Dylan worked hard on this, I’ll survive.”

Just as you once again reiterate your argument a gust of wind comes through, picking up the loose snow and blowing it around you sending yet another chill directly down your spine. Lewis evidently notices the cold seeping deeper into your bones, taking it upon himself to make the decision. 

“Y/N and I are gonna head back to the house, she’s getting a little too cold, gonna get her something warm, we’ll see you guys in a bit.” He yells ahead to your family against your will. 

“Oh, hun, are you okay?” Your mother is immediately concerned.

“I’m fine, I’m not going back.” You start to insist but Lewis is stepping in yet again.

“She’s fine, just wore the wrong jacket. The lights look amazing Dylan, well come see them when she’s warmed up.” Before you can say anything he’s starting to usher you back down the path, Dylan is thanking him and Vanessa is telling you where to find more blankets. 

Lewis is guiding you down the path, his body close against your back and his grip firm on your waist as if you don’t know the way. You hate the way he is manhandling you but you have to admit you are relishing in the warmth coming from the proximity. You don’t allow it to go on for too long, wrenching yourself out of his grip once you’re far enough away from your family. You pick up your pace, both in a show of defiance and actually quite wanting to get back to the warmth of the house. You hear him let out a scoff behind you as you throw your little tantrum.

The heat of the house is immediately welcoming, wrapping around you like a hug the moment you open the door. You take a moment to let the heat sink into your bones before even moving to remove your jacket. Lewis stands there watching you for a moment, just shaking his head before taking off his own large puffer.

“What?” You groan, assuming he has a comment to make.

“You know sub zero temps usually require a little more than a flimsy fashion jacket from the mall, right?” His voice is laced with judgement again, the kindness from the forest long gone.

“Oh, would you just fuck off!” You finally properly snap, whipping your head to face him.

““I’m just saying you’re a grown adult and you’re acting like winter is gonna kill you, you can’t even prepare for it” His response is quick, his tone just as snippy as yours, dripping with arrogance.

“I have a fucking parka in my room, I didn’t know how cold it was.” You throw back at him.

“Mmm sure, or you just wanted to look good for the little walk.” He accuses you, his tone condescending.

“Look good for who? I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere!” You fully yell at him, finally done with his jabs.

He ignores the question, his voice raising but not yet actually yelling, “Have you ever considered that maybe it’s good for you to be in the middle of nowhere once in a while?”

“I do not need some asshole who doesn’t even know me giving me fucking life advice, thank you very much.” You snap, no longer yelling but your voice is harsh.

“Well maybe you do because from where I’m standing you would rather be back in LA partying with your friends to post on Instagram than at your brother's beautiful new house with your whole family that loves you. They fucking want you here and you get to fucking see them, stop acting like its pulling fucking teeth for you to be here.” He actually yells this time, momentarily stunning you.

“Why do you even fucking care so much?” You just about scream, praying that your family is still far away from the house. The two of you haven’t even made it out of the foyer yet.

He just stares at you, his eyes hard and his chest heaving slightly. He opens his mouth before quickly snapping it shut, finally letting out a long, deep sigh. “Ya know what, I guess I fucking don’t. Go take a hot shower before you get fucking hypothermia.” He finally mutters harshly as he storms out of the room, his bedroom door slamming shut not long after.

You stand in the foyer, staring down the hallway where he disappeared, still dressed in your winter jacket. You can feel the tears pricking in the back of your eyes, immediately pissing you off that they can be caused by even Lewis. You bite lips, willing the tears to stop, but then you realize, there it is.

It finally feels like Christmas.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Boruto things that made me lose my mind (ep 25-40):

If I hear "what a drag..." one more time, so help me god, I will lose it

Pointing out clichés in your writing isn't clever, it's still bad writing

Suigetsu @ mitsuki: here's your intel, little gay boy

Boruto: kagura is a good ninja, his ancestry doesn't matter! Bad guy: kagura is a bad ninja, he freaks out and kills everyone when he weilds a sword (if kagura wasn't a ninja he would have nothing to feel bad abt, why is that not an option?)

Naruto 🤝 Boruto making all the boys obsessed with them

Sarada: were u really good friends with lord 7th as a child? Sakrua: ...we were more like family (well... im glad she didnt lie abt being his friend)

Boruto staring up at a beautiful sky: even if I tried, I don't think I could forget this (never say never, kid, ur dad once forgot he had a crow shoved down his throat)

Naruto @ orochimaru: our relationship is one of cooperation (natuto ur past self would beat the piss outta you)

The genin exam in naruto's time looks unhinged in comparison to the boruto extensive testing: if u can shadow clone yourself, u r ready to die in mortal combat (clearly kakashi made sweeping changes in his time as hokage)

Konoha: things have changed in this village, u don't have to be a ninja if u don't wanna :-D But if u do wanna, you make the decision to put ur life on the line at age fucking 12. So, progress but still on the path to dead children. That's our ninja way.

Why does iruka look 20 years older than kakashi when he's like 4 years younger 😭

Wow a sarada/boruto accidental kiss. It's just like the naruto/sasuke kiss, except with 1000% less romantic tension

Orochimaru: I must make sure my beloved synthetic son has free will. Therefore I will lie to his face, force him to confront the horror of his existence and make a high stakes choice about his allegiance, and erase his memory 6 times until I get the result I want

Why are all naruto missions involving bridges cursed?

[azrielsdove]

Ive been loving all the fics youve been posting. I had this lil idea that hopefully sparks joy for you if ur requests are open. Its an azriel x reader. Where reader is very cold hearted and kinda mean almost bitchy like nesta. Hates to be touched eapecially on her back. Azriel hates her cuz she so unpleastant and so incredibly difficult. The bond snaps for azriel and hes so so confused because he for sure thought elain was for him. Reader always looks at azriels hands almost disgusted but the truth is that she had her wings cut off and the stumps burned down to her flesh, so her entire back is scarred like azriels hands. Her face isnt of disgust but since he hides his hands she assumes he'd be disgusted in her. Azriel softens up to her when he finds out she has a soft spot for children, maybe she teaches orphaned children in the city. Idk i just like the idea of a cold hearted reader thats just as scarred as azzy but actually has a soft heart for kids. Or maybe shes always longed for a family of her own but cant get passed her own insecurities. You can change whatever you'd like to fit your writing style. ❤️

Thank you love!!!! I am OBSESSED with this idea and took off with it. I decided to turn it into a mini series, when I started writing the Readers POV it was getting wayyyy long. I hope I have done your idea justice, here is part 1 <3

Cold Hearts: Azriel x Reader

Chapter Warnings: None

Pt. 2 Here

***

Azriel couldn’t stand her. She was nothing but cold and hateful to everyone, especially to him. When she had first come to stay with Rhysand in Velaris, he had tried to be kind to her. Rhys hadn’t told anyone why he brought her, and she certainly never opened up about it.

The first day he met her, she was sitting silently in the small library in the House of Wind. Azriel had smiled at her and given a “Good morning.” She had turned sharply to look at him, her gaze focusing on the hand he waved with. He watched the look of disgust come over her face before she turned back to staring into the fire.

Azriel had been a little taken aback. Sure, he struggled with the way his hands looked, and was no stranger to the dirty looks. The look on her face had been nastier than he had ever seen. She looked at his hands like they caused her pain. He left the library after that, not sure what to think.

Many years had gone by since that first meeting, and Azriel preferred to stay far away from her. No one else wears very fond of her either. He still didn’t know why Rhys had brought her here, nor why he allowed her to stay. She spent most of her days locked in her room or sitting in the library. She occasionally came to meals with the family, rarely speaking. And when she did speak? It was always some cold remark, as if she wanted to be anywhere else with anyone else.

So why did she stay?

Azriel pondered that question far too often. When Rhys became trapped Under the Mountain, he had included that everyone should be prepared for war in his last message. Azriel took it upon himself to train her. He had shown up to her room early in the morning, expecting a fight. To his shock, she willingly came.

She took to training quicker than Azriel had thought. She proved to have some skill under that cold shell she showed everybody, even if it took some coaxing for it to come out. He was impressed. Azriel even started enjoying teaching her, until the day she lashed out at him and declared she never wanted to see him again.

He didn’t know what he had done wrong.

He was trying to teach her a slightly difficult new maneuver. She was struggling to angle her body the correct way, unable to understand how Azriel did it. He had reached out to help her, placing a hand on her lower back and shoulder to move her body into place. She shot out of his grasp like he had stabbed her, whipping around to face him.

“What do you think you are doing?” She had seethed, eyes on fire. Azriel had held his hands up in surrender, confused.

“I was just trying to help-“ He had begun, being cut off by her.

“Don’t. Don’t fucking touch me.” She had glared at his hands, a stare he didn’t miss.

“I don’t understand why you must be so insufferable all of the time!” Azriel had snapped, fed up with the constant negativity and judgement that came from her.

“Maybe don’t be a nasty pig and grab up on any female you see!” She had shouted, turning to leave the ring. “Stay away from me. I don’t wish to see you anymore.”

And that was that.

Cassian had taken over her training from then on out. Azriel was fine with it. She clearly had some sort of issue with him, and it seemed to stem from his hands. His ugly, scarred hands. Were they really so grotesque she couldn’t even stand him touching her?

***

When Rhysand had returned from Under the Mountain, things got better and worse. At first, she had been kinder. Azriel had noticed how she rushed to Rhys before anyone else, how carefully she wrapped him in her arms. The two of them had disappeared after that, not seen until the next day. Azriel couldn’t figure out why the two of them had such a bond, why Rhysand cared for her so much. He had just come back and announced that the human girl - Feyre - was his mate, so it couldn’t be a romantic attraction.

Or could it?

Azriel shook his head, demanding those thoughts the leave his mind. Ignoring the spark of jealousy that ran through him. He didn’t know why he cared so much about her.

***

Elain. There was no doubt in Azriels mind that Elain was his. Rhysand had Feyre, Cassian had Nesta, naturally Azriel would have Elain. It didn’t matter that the cauldron had mated her with Lucien. Three sisters, three brothers. Anyone could read what that meant.

Azriel tried not to notice the way she had slunk into the shadows lately. When Feyre first came to the Night Court, the two had struck up a friendship. Azriel couldn’t believe his eyes and ears when he saw how fun and sweet she was with Feyre. It further confirmed his belief that she was so disgusted in his scars that she couldn’t stand to be near him. She had even started to being nicer to Cassian, her training with him going much better than yours with Azriels had.

Once the bond snapped with Feyre and Rhysand, she had taken a small step back from the both of them. When it snapped with Cassian and Nesta, she had backed away from Cass as well. She barely even had a witty retort anymore, choosing to stay quiet most of the time.

Azriel felt like no one else had noticed the change in her. However, he had to admit, so much change had happened in such a short time that he couldn’t blame them for not realizing.

Why did he realize?

Even as she created small friendships with the others, she ignored Azriel. She only looked at him to stare at his hands. He had taken to wearing his gloves around her at all times, but she just stared as if she could see through the fabric. He had spent decades trying to be nice to her, for nothing. She rarely spoke to him, mostly just gave that look to his hands.

She was always going to be cruel to him.

***

Azriel was trying desperately to find a Solecist gift for Elain. He knew he had a reputation for gifts, and he wanted to make sure what he got Elain was perfect. As perfect as she is.

And he had no idea what that would be.

He was wandering the paths of Velaris aimlessly, peering into the stores as he passed, trying to see anything that seemed like Elain. He was getting worried that he would never find anything, turning away from yet another shop.

He stopped when he saw her.

She was inside a little building, large windows open for anyone to see in. He watched as she stood at the front of the room, facing a small group of…children? He angled his body a little to see clearly into the room, listening to her voice come through the window. Her tone was kinder than he had ever heard it. Azriel watched with wide eyes as she demonstrated a defense move-a move he had taught her.

And now she was teaching it to children.

He watched for the rest of the class, amazed at how well the kids grasped onto the concepts she was teaching. He felt his heart skip when her laughter floated out the windows, a bright smile on her face as she looked at one of the students. He had never seen her like this before.

When the class ended he watched as one of the smaller children ran up to her and threw their arms around her legs. Azriel expected her to jump back at the touch, instead watching her bend down and wrap her arms around them. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He couldn’t believe any of this. He turned and headed back to the House, the gift for Elain long forgotten.

***

He wanted to approach her. He wanted to ask about the children he saw her teaching. He had a sudden desire to know more about her, to see who she may be under that cold exterior.

Azriel should have known she wouldn’t let him.

It was a few days after he had spotted her in town, and he had finally found her alone in the little library. He cleared his throat as he approached her, hoping to get her attention. Of course, she ignored him. He shouldn’t have been hurt by it, but he had been so hopeful after seeing her with the children.

Azriel called her name.

Her head slowly turned to him, eyes blazing. “Yes?” She asked coolly. Azriel have a small smile, refusing to lose his nerve now.

“I saw you, in town? With the children? I-“ He started, cut off by her suddenly standing.

“Spying on me, are you?” She asked, anger all over her face.

“No! No! I was shopping, for Elain, and I happened to walk by!” Azriel was gesturing wildly, not wanting you to think he was following you. “I saw you and then I saw the children and I was interested. You were, nice to them.” He cursed the words as they came out of his mouth, sounding just as sorry as one could imagine.

She scoffed. “Why would I not be? They’re kids.” Her words were sharp and Azriel felt embarrassment creep up his neck.

“Well, you’re not really nice to anyone.” He bit out, temper rising as she laughed.

“You don’t know anything about me.” She said, looking at him curiously.

“Oh? Is that so?” Azriel felt the words coming out before he could stop them, all the things he had wanted to say for years. “Maybe that’s because you don’t let anyone get close to you. I tried to be your friend in the beginning, just for you to be cold and nasty. You are always cold and nasty. I’ve noticed you slowly losing the friends you have made, slinking off into the shadows. Do you ever stop to think that maybe it’s because you’re a cold-hearted bitch?”

She looked like he had slapped her.

“W-what?” She stumbled out, eyes wide.

Now it was Azriels turn to scoff. “Don’t pretend to be innocent now. You rarely speak to anyone except for Rhys, and when you do it’s usually to tell them to leave you alone! Even when I was trying to train you, you lashed out at me for just trying to help. You have always acted like I disgust you, always glaring at my hands. Do they really upset you so much that you have to act like i’m the worst thing you’ve ever encountered? That you have to look at me like that and flinch when I touch you? I tried to be nice to you, just for you to react like that.” He was breathing heavy, all the hurt coming to the surface.

He watched her eyes flash and then suddenly, she was yelling at him. “How dare you? You have no idea what you are talking about. Are you so self centered that you truly believe everything I do is about you? Do you ever stop for one second to think that maybe, just maybe, I have my own shit to deal with?” Her cheeks were colored red, her hands clenching into fists.

Azriel rolled his eyes. “We all have our own shit going on. It doesn’t mean we take all of our miserable feelings out on everyone else!”

“I don’t! I just don’t have any interest in getting close with you. Not everyone has to want to lick the ground you walk on, Shadowsinger.” She spat out the last word like it was dirt in her mouth.

“Why not? What have I ever done that makes you hate me so? What has any of us done? The only one of us you would talk to for years was Rhysand. Did you love him? Are you bitter now that he has a mate and no one will ever be interested in you?” Azriel knew that was a low blow, but his anger overrode him common sense.

“What are you talking about? The relationship between me and Rhysand is none of your business. For a spymaster, you’re truly horrible at reading a situation.” She was angry, angrier than she had been in decades.

Azriel didn’t care. “No one here likes you. They’ve all moved on from their short friendships with you. Even your precious Rhys has found someone else to occupy his time with. Why do you stay here? You have no one.” He felt the pain in his chest at the expression on her face.

She blinked quickly, fighting tears. “You are the cruel one, Azriel.” She turned and ran from the room, leaving him in the aftermath of their fight.

It was the first time she had said his name.

He felt it snap in his chest, the tug to follow you. He could barely react, the shock of it keeping him rooted to the spot. No, he thought. No. Not her. It wasn’t supposed to be her.

The mating bond didn’t care for his concerns.

***

Please let me know how you feel!! Honestly Pt. 2 should be out tonight or tomorrow, i’m pretty far into it. I’m thinking this will be a 3-4 part mini series!!!

[toxycodone]

i want swansea to finger me. i ❤️ fat men

ship. swansea x reader

content. fingering, reader is gender neutral but they do kinda ride his face

Jesus Christ.

Swansea’s had enough of this. Pony Express in general has always been on his ass, making him scoff and roll his eyes at every idiotic new rule or exception they make with hauls. But this one really takes the cake.

Having his fellow crewmate spread eagle on his work bench is fucking ridiculous.

Why do they keep hiring young people? He supposes it’s because they’re cheap, and this company’s the most penny pinching business in the game. But the costs surely outweigh the benefits.

They’re stupid, inexperienced. They can’t keep it their pants, and the effects of the haul start doing numbers on their psyche much quicker that the others. The tension between you two was palpable. Swansea could see the way you eye fucking him clear as day despite all his attempts to keep you focused on work at hand.

Fuck it. He huffs. He’ll take care of this himself. He’s not dying to some stupid mistake you make because you’re two busy imagining getting your guts rearranged to actually focus.

“Can’t believe this shit…”

Swansea hisses. His thick fingers trail down the expanse of your thigh, causing you to shudder.

Fuck, you’re sensitive, huh? He’d feel bad if he wasn’t so preoccupied with annoyance. But he can’t fully blame you. Swansea’s been there before. The hormones pumping through your body are begging you to fuck. Going without a good orgasm is torture to someone your age.

Good thing he’s here. A rugged, experienced individual like him. Yeah. Making a young thing like you fall apart on his fingers will be a piece of cake. You probably don’t know any better, anyways. Years of experience have polished him into quite the lover.

The thick callouses on his fingers force your thighs open, spreading your sex out in clear view. Swansea tsks, trying to fight back the heat that flares through his body at the sight.

“Not only do I gotta watch over you. Show you the ropes, keep you from killing yourself every ten damn seconds—but I gotta get you off too? The fuck does Pony Express think I am, some kind of prostitute?”

The least they could do is give him a raise. Fucking cheapskates. They probably think putting some young, hot piece of ass glued to his hip is a favor for him. Fuck it, they should’ve just been transparent and invested in a barracks bunny. It would save him the constant headache of having to train you.

“You better not take this for granted, kid. Once you’re spent, I’m expectin’ you to work twice as hard next shift.”

It’s a serious declaration. You better haul ass once he’s done this for you. Swansea’s large hand hovers right near where you want him. You feverishly nod in agreement. Whatever it takes to get those digits inside you as soon as possible.

“Good. Lay back and enjoy this, ‘cause I ain’t doin’ it often.”

He would, though. If you asked again. Swansea’s hand moves down the expanse of your thigh, settling over your sex. He trails his thumb down your outer lips a few times, humming in acknowledgement at the wetness that coats your pubes and spreads from his movements.

“Already wet too? God, you’re easy. Or have you been waitin’ for a chance like this?”

His question is rhetorical, obviously, because the way his thumb starts to round your clit has you throwing your head back—blocking any answer that would’ve come out. Swansea knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s had his wife spread like this plenty of times, so it only takes a few movements and studying your facial expression before he finds what pressure and movements have you grinding back into his touch. He’s even sure to pay attention to the underside of clit, poking the sensitive head from its hood just enough to make you jump.

The attention makes you embarrassingly wet. Just from the older man stroking your sensitive bud, he’s already got your hips bucking and wanton moans leaving your lips. Is this how guys feel when they jerk off? Because the way Swansea’s got you coming apart with ease has you inching closer and closer with each passing second.

And when he stops, you whimper. It’s pathetic. But you’re too damn horny to give a shit at this point. Being stuck on the Tulpar has left you at the mercy of your own hand and imagination. Having someone else touch you for once is electrifying.

“Don’t bitch.” Swansea commands gruffly, adjusting himself in his work chair. You notice there's a gentle flush to his cheeks, but his eyes remain focused on your bottom half. His fingers stroke your slit again. The way he’s eyeing the slick that coats it is a little embarrassing—as if he’s assessing something. His middle finger pushes past your entrance, and at the sign of little resistance, the older man smirks. He adds his index finger in the midst of the third stroke, but keeps the pace slow.

Good Lord, his fingers are thick. Almost as thick as he is. They’re rough, thoroughly calloused from years of working with his hands. You can feel that texture on your inner walls as they split you open. Swansea’s thrusting them into you slowly still, but deliberate. Yes, he’s trying to get you closer and closer to that pending orgasm, but—

A choke moan escapes your lips when he finds it, that one spot inside you that makes your stomach drop.

“Right there, eh?” He’s smirking.

Those wide fingers curl around your g-spot, hitting it just right with each movement of his hand. He’s relentless, thumping against the area and speeding up his strokes. Your eyes roll back, vision blurred by stars as your orgasm comes tumbling towards you.

And you think that’s it, but the feeling of stubble against your thigh has you second guessing. Before you know it, Swansea’s lips seal around your slit. His other arm wraps around your thigh, fingers resting above your slit and pulling upwards to make the bud poke out at him for easier access. Your own hips involuntarily start to buck and grind against the older man’s face, smearing a mix of slick and saliva over his mouth and nose as you fuck yourself against it.

You cum quicker than you ever had in your life on his face. Never, ever have you been more thankful for Utility being so secluded from other parts of the ship. The sounds you make echo from the walls as you tense up and shudder. Vibrations from Swansea chuckling between your thighs make you whine as he continues to fuck you through your own release.

Your chest rises and falls with shaky pants as you fall limp onto the cold steel of the bench. With a hazy mind tingling body, you lie there, trying to recollect yourself after your superior just made you cum like that.

Swansea, ever so eager to stay on task, kicks back from the workbench, idly licking his fingers clean.

“Now you better pull yourself together, kid. We gotta job to do, y’hear?”

He tosses your clothes from the floor back at you. You take a few moments to gather yourself, before attempting to straighten things up. Swansea’s left the Utility room now—likely on the way to the bathroom to wash his own hands and start on his next task.

But on reflection, before you can tug your pants back on and get to work, you notice something off.

Your underwear’s gone.

(And somewhere, Swansea’s enjoying his new prize.)

[strnilolo]

clumsy girl

summary: matt’s girlfriend is rather clumsy.

warnings: cursing, use of y/n, kisses kinda, jokes about death, idk what else. lowercase intentional

an: i kinda don’t like this one guys. BUT this won the vote so ask and you shall receive.

an2: i do have some requests guys and im very sorry that i haven’t gotten to them, its just hard for me to get motivated unless i have a really good idea for a fic and can play it out in my head. but i will be working on requests i promise.

|navigation|

you and matt are sat on the couch together, aimlessly scrolling through your phones. matt leans his head on your shoulder before giggling slightly, sitting upright next to you.

“look at this video, isn’t this funny?” matt moves his phone in front of you, scrolling to restart the video.

you watch as different clips cut across the screen, laughing lightly to yourself. the video had been a compilation of matt saving you from falling, hitting your head, hurting yourself, etc.

“you’re so clumsy, huh? always need me to save you” matt smirks at your annoyed expression.

“i am not that clumsy, matthew, you’ve probably tripped and fallen more times than me” you roll your eyes as you sit back against your teasing boyfriend.

“well.. what about that one time at dinner, or the time you almost tripped up the stairs?”

matt went on and on about the different times he was your ‘knight in shining armor.’

two months ago

“okay guys now we’re going to be decorating the cupcakes and our lovely mother is going to be trying them and rating them 1-10” you listened patiently as nick loudly addressed the camera, informing the viewers of our next step.

“oh shit” your tube of icing dropped onto the floor right as the clip began rolling. you quickly bend to the side to grab the tube as matt reached his hand to cover the corner of the table, protecting your head from bashing into it. sitting up, you thank matt for his help before continuing to decorate your cupcake.

currently

“oh my god, i actually do remember that. people were making edits for weeks” the two of you laughed at the fond memory, before matt began to speak again.

“do you remember the time you almost fell down the stairs during our house tour?”

“oh please don’t remind me” groaning at the embarrassing image in your head.

several months earlier

“okay so now y/n is going to lead us upstairs to the room we share” matt followed behind you, talking to the camera as the vlog went on.

“oh fuck!” you grip onto the railing, feeling yourself slip on the wooden staircase.

“jesus y/n-” you feel matt’s hand on your back, steadying you on the stairs before he releases his grip, allowing you to continue up.

“you have got to be more careful, you could’ve killed us all” nick laughs from behind matt, dramatically grasping onto the rail.

“whatever, thanks matt” you smile at the boy, playfully rolling your eyes.

“okay guys so we made it upstairs, barely, now to show you where i sleep” matt faces the camera towards you as the four of you continue to vlog a tour of your shared living space.

currently

“jesus, that was embarrassing” you cover your face with your hands in attempt to hide your blush.

“no it wasn’t, you just don’t want the world to see that you’d die without me” matt pulls your hands from your face, playfully placing kisses around your forehead and cheeks.

“i guess i would die without you, huh?”

“a very painfully and stupid death, yes” the two of you laugh at the memories, enjoying the little amount of quality time you’re able to get.

| likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated|

| 🏷️ @strniolosworld @bananabread-nana @abbie13sworld @mxqdii |

ps i do not consent to my work being stolen, translated, or posted on any other website without my permission

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Some Surprises

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

NOV 2024 Week 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 5 of 16 - I love this show, but I absolutely hate the main couple's communication style. Or complete lack of communication style. I really hope the other couples are not gonna be this bad and it’s just because this one is leaning into the worst of BL archetypes. But I’m not confident. Poor Ter dating Hill put a big old target on his back. Earth being a dramatic stressed gay queen was peak comedy tho. Apparently the good kisses are only on WeTV (I am annoyed) so props to the giffers who keep me supplied. You're doing the BL gods work.

I suddenly realized, after the bullying sequence, that one of the reasons I’m liking this so much is it reminds me of early Japanese yaoi. There’s something about the dynamics of the characters and the way they're reacting to situations that’s not very Thai BL feeling. And if I think of this is more JBL, I forgive it. Or maybe that’s just why I’m liking it so much despite its flaws? Difficult to understand my own feels about this show.

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - I don’t like this new evil-bonkers rich kid character and whatever is going on with Jack and Rose and that whole story. It’s boring. And then my brain short circuited. No further thoughts... just War in a wife beater. 

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 15 - Phun's bitch face really is epically wonderful. I kinda enjoy everybody ribbing the two of them because they have no idea what’s actually going on. I'm chronicling my experience with 2024 as compared to 2014 here.

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 9 of 12 - Omg cutest boyfriends EVER. I don’t even mind how cheesy their bf era is. Does this lull jive with the rest of the story? Nope. But ya know that’s GMMTV’s thing these days, flailing during the final act.

Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) ep 1 of 24 - Pretty standard Thai BL university fair. I am hoping it’s better than ForceBook’s previous offering. Yet another sniff test. Is this the trope of the year? Meanwhile, they also deployed the crash into me trope in episode one. Who do they think they are? Taiwan?

New is directing this uni BL with a massive cast + massive run time. It's an endurance test ya'll - we will be watching this until APRIL of 2025! Su su na.

Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - I really like that they had the bandwidth to give us a little side couple with this installment. Fun crumbs. Meanwhile, the thing with the shirt in front of the mirror was extremely sexy. This installment was very sad though. And, of course, I’m not happy about it. To top it all off, next week is musical themed, so you know I’m disgruntled about it. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 13 - Aw spoiled neglected rich boy wants to be cared for and spoiled honestly. I do love them. Also tiny idiot syndrome is spreading. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 6 of ? - The side couple (teacher student, hyung romance but he’s using em) interesting. Not sure how I feel about them. The subs are so bad it’s largely incomprehensible but I’m still enjoying it for no defensible reason. 

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 5 of 7 - I love that our uke can be such a little shit. I love it when a tsundere has some serious snark and attitude to back his petulance up. Also liquid courage. At least we got to the root of the tsundere. Also neck kisses and cuddles! 

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 7-8 of 12 - Oooo, cute kiss. Drunken but adorable. I do like it when they use older Korean actors in KBL, they actually know how to kiss. Has the kiss saved this show? Possibly. I’m shallow. 

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 7 of 10 eps - Our con man is such a good little homemaker. And it’s sexy yukata time! Love this trope. 

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Same plot as the Thai original, only from Japan. Very similar so far. I hope Rei is a bit more smart and Arashi is a bit less of a sleaze. I still get too much secondhand embarrassment and my mame alert is blaring.  I'm wary.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days (China Sun iQIYI) eps 1-2 - Triggers for child abuse, alcoholism. Two artists, one an abused rich kid and the other a tough scrappy poor kid, in the same art prep school. I of course adore the side couple of the much younger kid and the older teacher. Oh, I do like it. But it's CBL, I'm very scared as to where it might go.

Bad to Bed (Taiwan Sat YouTube) ep 1 of 10 - Influencer Wan Xiong suffers from insomnia, it’s a physical and mental battle. As he tried to find a solution, he encounters five boys along the way. I'm putting this on the list because it's airing and I just found out about it but I didn't have time to watch it yet. I hear it's v weird.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - Supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) 10 eps - I DNF'd at ep 7, I couldn't make it. I am weak. Life is hard enough right now, this show is making it harder. It’s not what I want from my entertainment.

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 4 of 8 - I put this one on pause. It's too heavy for me right now. I'll wait to know if the ending is hard fought happy (and then watch) or not (and won't finish). Sorry all, rough times this side of the screen.

Random I watched it

Vending Machine Sabi Koi AKA Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan 2023) - This show is utterly adorable, impossibly awkward, and kinda old fashioned. About a cute nerdy little office worker (he's out!) who has a big'ol crush on the tall hulking vending machine guy. They fall in love. And that’s it. And it’s charming. There’s some first name eroticism, because Japan, and there's emphasis on communication, which is so not Japan, but turns this into an organically loving and talkative relationship. There’s a bit of an age gap, and our office cutie may or may not have a muscles fetish (the hot bod not the shellfish) because (if I’ve told you once I’ve told you 1 million times) Japan always goes kinky. And you know what, I loved it. 9/10

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

November BL:

11/4 Our Youth AKA Miseinen: Mijukuna Oretachi wa Bukiyo ni Shinkochu (Japan Mon Gaga?) 11 eps - Minase was an exemplary high school student who hates Hirukawa, head bully and top delinquent. But then Minase uncovers Hirukawa’s secret and the two get intimate.

11/15 Caged Again (Thai Fri WeTV) 10 eps - Penguin escapes zoo by turning into a human. Gets trapped again and a panther falls in love with him.

11/17 Your Sky (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - Due to an unforeseen situation, a naive freshman and the campus’s popular senior agree to pretend to be a couple - but their fake deal begins to generate real feelings.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Honor the crumbs indeed. This pair is so much crumbs it's practically dust. (Love Sick 2014)

God he is so stupidly in love.

(lask week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[luna0713hunter]

requesting for zoro with shy! reader who he begins to avoid and not talk that much to out of worry about his feelings for them. reader thinks he hates them and talks about it with usopp. usopp then confronts zoro about it and he’s later convinced to confess to reader. tysm and keep up the great work 🤍

Author's note : feels like i haven't wrote for Zoro in a while!! Hope you enjoy it and thank u! ^^

i just finished this at 2 am and i have a lecture at 7 am lmaooo

Easy to love

Zoro Roronoa x reader

Warnings : none,angst to fluff,hurt/comfort,talk about insecurities,happy ending

*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘

The sound of the music and people talking all vanishes in the background as you watch Zoro stands up from his sit right next to you and leaves for more drinks.

And it was like that all night long.

Ever since you joined the straw hats,you couldn't help your heart from beating a little faster when you were in Zoro's presence. Since the very first begining,he was your main focus; wherever he went, whatever he needed. Zoro was you sun,your moon and everything you loved, simply was in him.

But loving Zoro wasnt easy.

You were never one for showing open affection;your shy nature never allowing you to talk about your real feelings,and making everything harder for you. And Zoro having an intimating personality didnt help either. So you stayed back; choosing to not talk to him when he was around. And Zoro seemed like it didnt matter to him as well,since he never took it upon himself to open an actual conversation with you. And to tell the truth,you knew he probably hated your guts.

So as always,you loved him in silence.

The glass of the drink in your hands sweats slightly;the cool feeling welcoming on your warm skin. You didnt really drink much,even if you were drowning in sorrow,you chose to stay alert in case of danger.

So when Usopp slides in the sit right next you,you immediately acknowledge his presence.

His drunk presence.

"yo," he giggles from his own voice and slides his ridiculous sunglasses down his nose to eye you and then your untouched drink, "what's gotten you in a bad mood?"

You give him a half hearted smile and tilt your head, "what do you mean?"

"well,for starters you haven't even touched your drink all night," he motions to the glass in your hand,then his voice takes a cautious tilt, "and you're crying and its not from alcohol."

Upon his declaration,your eyes widen and you hurriedly start wiping your eyes.

When did you even start to cry?

"ah,its nothing, Usopp. dont worry about it."

"c'mon, I'm your crewmate and friend. You can tell me anything." He bumps his shoulder to yours gently, "and you always keep everything inside. Its not good for ya."

You smile softly at him and look back down at your glass.

The ice had melted completely.

"since when did you become to smart?"

"I'm always smart!dont be maan to a man who's here to comfort you!"

"sorry,sorry!" You giggle,but it sounds sad even to your own ears. You sigh and your fingers trace the water beads on the glass, "it's Zoro."

"Zoro?what about him?"

"well...i kinda...like him?" You huff and shakes your head, "no...who am i kidding,i love him."

Usopp stays silent;maybe out of shock or for giving you the time you need to gather the rest of your thoughts.

"i love him so much. So so fucking much,but he fucking hates me. And..." Your voice cracks and you lower your head, "and it hurts. Cause i know I'll never have him."

Usopp rests a comforting hand on your shoulder, "y/n," his voice is oddly gentle for someone who had too much drinks, "i dont think he hates you. Zoro's just like that; he's emotionally constipated." His hand squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, "dont think much about it. I promise that he doesnt hate you."

A sigh escapes you lips and you bite them from wobbling, "y-yeah. Ok." You clear your throat and suddenly stand up, "listen,thanks for listening,but i think I'm gonna rest for a bit."

Usopp nods, and stands up as well, "need me to walk you back to the ship?"

"its alright. Thank you again."

And with that,you exit the bar as fast as your legs allow you to.

-

The weather outside is warm;gentle breeze coming from the ocean and messing up your hair. Your cheeks are sticky with tears,and your eyes hurt from rubbing them all night long.

Maybe you should just quit being a pirate;leaving the Straw hats and work in a small shop or somewhere. Wherever if it means you wont see the man you love,hate you so much. And the mere thought of never seeing your crewmate,of never seeing Zoro,has your tears running again.

"never thought alcohol would do this to you."

That has you jumping from your place and turning around to see Zoro leaning against the doorframe of the bar.

And when he spots your tears,he frowns and his lips twist downward unhappily. As he steps closer to where you're sitting,his three swords clank against each other,and the sound has you deciding whether you can run for it or he'll catch up to you.

However,before you can even stand up,he sits heavily beside you and you wrap your arms around yourself to make yourself smaller. Zoro side eyes you and wets his lips.

"Usopp talked to me."

You swallow loudly and shrink into yourself more.

"is..is that so?"

"yeah. And he actually said something interesting for once in his life."

"what did he say?" You laugh nervously.

"Oh, nothing much, except," he turns to you completely and rests his elbows on his knees, "that you think i hate you. Now,i can only hope he was bullshitting about that as well;like all of his wild stroies."

When you stay quiet and lower your head more,he lets out a bitter laugh and raises his brows.

"you cant be serious."

And for some reason,those words are enough to break you.

You jerk your head up in his direction,and watch as he flinches slightly upon seeing your tear stained cheeks.

"and why fucking not?!" And gosh,you aren't even drunk but your words start spilling out of your mouth without any filter, unlike your usual self, "you never talk to me!heck,you dont even look me in the eyes!!how the hell am i supposed to think otherwise when the man I'm always chasing,hates my guts!?"

And for the first time since meeting him,Zoro seems actually speechless. The silence starts to stretch for so long that your cheeks start to burn with embarrassment and new wave of tears make their way down your eyes. You furiously start wiping at them;the burning growing more as you stand up .

"just forget it," you mumble without looking at him, "forget everything i said. And I'll leave the crew as soon as possible so you dont have to worry about-"

You dont have time to continue,before a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around your middle,and with one simple tug,you drop in Zoro's lap. Your back hits his muscular chest and when you realize your situation,your cheets burn bright red.

"What the," you start to squirm, "Let go!"

But Zoro only tightens his hold on your waist. He drops his forehead against your shoulder with a huff and mumbles something in your neck. You stop your squirming,and with hesitant fingers brush against his hair.

And you dont think you can sleep that night after knowing how awfully soft they are.

"Zoro," you softly whisper, "i cant understand what you're saying."

There's another huff and you realize just how much of a man child he truly is.

"i said,i dont hate you." A pause, "its actually the opposite."

"is it?"

"yeah." You shiver when you feel his lips brush against the skin of your neck, "i happen to like you very much. And i suck at acting around the people i like. Always try to push them away instead."

And when he squeezes your middle,you let out an embarrassed squeak.

"y/n," he gently turns your face toward himself by taking hold of your chin gently, "i love you."

And when your tears start to fill you eyes again,you know its happy ones this time.

Zoro frowns and huffs;and with such gentle hands wipes away your tears.

"don't cry. It makes me want to tear the world down when i see your tears."

He pressed his lips to your forehead.

"i dont wanna live in a world where you cry."

And those words,has you throwing your arms around his neck,and pull him close to press your lips to his soft ones.

But before you do, you whisper against his lips,

"i love you too. I dont wanna live in a world where i cant love you."

And for once in a long time,the night feels lighter and the moon shines.

[enden-k]

btw sry to the ppl who came for fanart and get blasted w all the oc stuff LMAOOO

its nothing new but i fell out of a few fandoms, gnshn mainly. due to all the ongoing drama w hoyogames caused by the fandom over the stupidest things (im not involved or get involved in any of that but it always happened i saw stuff here and there on my tl and its just wow), then all the stupid shit hyv pulled in the past months and get away with constantly, then how extremely time consuming and demanding and repetitive everything became etcetcetc i kinda have issues with playing their games. theres jsut no energy or interest left bc all this above is kinda outweighing anything that made me enjoy it before?

(i still adore a bunch of characters and might draw some again but i really am not sure if i will get into the game itself again. im just tired and nothing keeps me there anymore tbh)

zzz is enjoyable as its v chill on time and the team behind it is a new one so the game is sm more different it rlly doesnt feel like a hoyo game anymore. hsr is also ok tho i dont always keep track w it lately, sometimes i just get a bit bored of it when theres nothing interesting baiting me into finishing story stuff lol

whaaat i mean to say is thats kinda why im not rlly doing much fanart lately??? since there was no major thing that had my constant attention and kept me drawing 1000 things at a time lately. i jump from interest to interest rn when it comes to fandom stuff and draw whenever inspo strikes i guess

rn im going back to old fandoms again and rewatching/rereading/replaying all my most favorite things for some happiness. im currently hyperfixating real bad on my fav animanga once again so i might post some doodles of that or other shows i rlly enjoyed and rewatched, maybe even fate or FF stuff again

i rlly have to say since i stopped actively playing gnshn/spending so much time with keeping up with hoyogames and do all my stuff there every single day, i feel mentally SO MUCH better and suddenly have sm good time to use for other things (also ngl i feel like having to keep up daily w those type of games/playing sm gacha turned me really stupid and impatient over the years)

i even got back to draw OCs and create a new comic again after almost 6 YEARSSSSS of not working on my own stories. im feeling really happy rn, drawing stuff that is not gnshn/hyv related be it my OCs or other things i rlly enjoy like alnst etc (its prolly also another reason why im going back to old, favorite things rn bc i wanna create for everything that is dear to me and i didnt do before bc i didnt have my artblog back then yet)

anw sorry for rambling sm LMAO i guess you can consider this some kind of an update/explanation!! OC art and mixture of hyperfixations, favorite things and whatever im into atm, NOT a gnshn only artist

[flownwrong]

chaotic ckr c6d squee propaganda (?) post

This, started half a year ago for @ds30below, was initially a general c6d short reviews post but kinda skewed majorly towards CKR's repertoire and wasn't too review-y. So I gave up on making sense and on including the non-CKR works. I don't know who the audience for this is, because I never give basic details for people who don't know about this stuff but say too much for those who do. I giffed what I could and tried to avoid what I know a lot about but haven't actually seen. Here goes.

Frank's Cock (1993)

Not much to say. It's only 8 minutes, it's beautiful and you should see it if you haven't. I won't spoil the subject, but you can likely guess. Watch it, cry a little. Then go watch some more of Mike Hoolboom's stuff, the vimeo link above is from his channel.

Two X-Files episodes (1994 – 1995)

Well, I haven't actually seen X-files since I was about fifteen and watched the like two seasons, and I remember none of it. I rewatched the two early episodes CKR appears in and they were fun. I did not watch the, the movie or whatever where he's doing the evil gay thing. But really, this one is on the list so I can show you this self-indulgent gif of him being Very Long:

Double Happiness (1994)

You shouldn't watch this one for CKR. I mean, you absolutely should see him here, looking like he's barely out of his teens and playing up the insecure act and having devastating chemistry with devastatingly beautiful Sandra Oh, but this is not why it's great. And it's really, really great. It's touching and funny and sincere. If you wanna have some feels about complicated family relationships and identity and growing up (at any point in life), you'll find them here.

Curtis's Charm (1995)

Don't regret watching it, can't recommend. Not gonna lie, I was emotionally affected. But I usually am by things as in-your-face bleak as this. Mostly, it's trying very hard to be smarter than it is, I think.

However: CKR's One Wild Curl is everything to me (see above, on the right. It was, like, actually curly. I was rendered speechless). And like two seconds of Hugh Dillon made me do a double-take, lol. Incredibly weird knowing this was shot like half a year before HCL began shooting. Feels like it must've been a decade earlier.

Hard Core Logo (1996)

I could make three separate posts about this one, so of course I have no idea what to say.

This one, you should watch for CKR, actually, he's something, but so is every single other aspect of this film. I wouldn't change a thing about it. It hits you like a 16 wheeler. Perfectly cast, unimaginably beautiful, hysterical and melancholy and disgusting and compelling.

Related recs:

A wonderfully fun article/retrospective/interview for its 20th anniversary a while back.

You should also absolutely read Hard Core Roadshow if you enjoyed the film. It's a book documenting the whole thing from conception to release. It touched me for its own sake, not just a backstage glance, full of love for the craft and the people and carrying this tangible bittersweetness about the heightened and fleeting nature of this kind of work.

(here, I feel compelled to include a quote from another c6d-related interview on Slings & Arrows, which I read after the book and went like man, it's really a universal experience isn't it.

Coyne: <...> But I also think, and this is my experience, what we were all experiencing, because we were all talking about our lives, our life in the arts — there’s something very melancholy about doing something you love, because it will never be good enough, it will always break your heart.

McKinney: Or it will be fleeting.

Coyne: It’ll be fleeting. You come together with people you feel passionately connected to and two weeks later they’re tearing down the sets.)

Quotes from the article and the book respectively include:

McDonald: So there was a kind of mutual dependency society with Hugh telling Callum, “Don’t worry, man, I got your back, I’ll tell you how high or low to wear your guitar, I’ll tell you how you should dress, I’ll tell you what you should drink…” and Callum was like, “I’ll tell you what hitting your mark is, I’ll tell you why they pull out fucking tape measures, I’ll tell you why you have to do it again, I’ll tell you about not overlapping dialogue..” and you know they clung to each other, like the other one was gonna fucking save them.

And:

A final gathering at the back of the tour bus with Bruce, Callum, Hugh, Bernie. We listen to the tape of HCL songs, all the way through, one last time. And we belt the words out. Bernie sings loudest, performing for Salerno's camera. Hugh and Callum sit back, looks of sadness. I get the sense that if they could do it, they'd chuck their lives and be Joe Dick and Billy Tallent forever. Callum leans to Bruce and says exactly what everyone else is thinking: "I don't want it to end."

There's much more to both texts than *gestures* the whatever those two had, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

And Xeriscape is the best HCL fic I've read. Granted, I read very few because it's not a source that creates in me a craving for fic. But this one perfectly matches the film's fucked up beauty with its language while also adding a quieter, more fraught layer of humanity that we only get glimpses of in canon and that perfectly fits John. 10/10, would recommend.

Anyway. Watch it. Read it. If you haven't. Otherwise, come scream with meeee! And go reblog my gifs or something. Idk.

Letters From Home (1996)

Mike Hoolboom strikes again, with another short. This goes into the "don't watch it for CKR, watch it because it's great" box. Yes, you will cry.

For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down (1996)

Another bleak one! It sucked to watch, I mean, on purpose. There were a couple of very effective scenes. I really enjoyed the opening. They say the book is decent too, I haven't checked that out.

Actually, let's just switch back from coherent thought to undignified staring at his mouth with this one. What the fuck is that cigarette thing. I couldn't help myself.

Last Night (1998)

These gifs are not representative of the whole movie. There is more happening than CKR kissing or hugging people. He's also doing more than just kissing and hugging. It's all very... impressive.

Guess who's also here again? Sandra Oh! And say hi to Don McKellar, who is an absolute champion for writing/directing/starring. You'll be seeing more of him.

Another one for the "watch it for its own sake" box. Seriously, that late 90s indie stuff is banger after banger. It's so beautiful! Look at those colours! Look at those shots! It's very uneasy and charming and melanchioly and itself in the best way.

Twitch City (1998 – 2000)

Don McKellar is back to murder you with discomfort! Bruce McDonald lends a hand. Molly Parker is also here. And Daniel McIvor, who'd go on to direct, for example, Wilby Wonderful. It's a party. If you watched some stuff from above (or below) on this list, most faces and names will be familiar to you, tbh (another Hugh Dillon double-take happens).

If you liked Spaced, you'll love this. You might also love it because it commits to its weirdness with an admirable resolve and is genuinely hilarious. (Honestly, CKR's outfits alone warrant a watch.) The idiosyncrasy is definitely Don McKellar's doing 200%. It couldn't be more different from Last Night, but if you've seen one, you'll recognise the other.

Battlestar Galactica (2003 – 2009)

I don't think a person should be allowed to look this pretty in the sweaty-and-dying makeup in that light (this sentence probably looks very weird to those not under the CKR magic spell).

I don't know what to say about BSG because I really, really enjoyed early it initially, but by the middle of S2 it got... well, whatever that was. If you know you know, if you don't, still give it a go. You might get invested enough to suffer through it all, as I have been, slowly.

The unfortunate thing is that CKR got to be there mostly in the "what the fuck" years and not the "wow that's so cool" years. That, as you might be aware, is a pattern with him. But! When he was here, he was so genuinely, wonderfully creepy not in the typecast-baddy way, but in this slow, half-absent way, which really worked. You can also see him tortured a little, as a treat!! <3

Also, a wild John Pyper-Ferguson appears! If you're looking at him thinking you know him from somewhere but not immediately remembering, you'll figure it out, I believe in you. I was very happy to see him.

Wilby Wonderful (2004)

Another win for the put CKR in more good shit team!!! Guess who's here again? Sandra Oh! Also, Paul Gross. Don't watch it for him either though haha.

Another one for whoever wants to look at pushing against the weight of others' (or your own) expectations and growing into who you are or reconsidering who you are or finding meaningful connections with others even when you're kind of a mess and they are too.

Not nearly the first time CKR's gotten to play a queer character, but man, this one really is the heart of the in-universe community, and, through that, of the film. A rare chance to see him so far out of the prickly persona! He's just so solid and calm and there for others in this one and, and soft, ough. It's awesome.

By the way, if any of you have the commentary track or know someone who has, please drop me a line here or on discord (emotionalrisotto), I really wanna hear that.

Supernatural (2005)

I love Supernatural a lot. It was a formative experiences (albeit a very late one) and I owe a lot of my favourite stuff about fandom-ing to the buddies I met through it. I can't believe I'm telling you this (because who hasn't seen it, not because I'm reccing it), but you should really try it if you haven't. It's pretty rad.

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw that episode (the second ever one!), though. I simply cannot fathom what @nigeltde-fic felt when she first saw it. I think I personally got very lucky she didn't combust on the spot. It would've been unfortunate.

On a sillier note, CKR's character has weird tension with both Sam and Dean in this episode, which is par for the course. I personally think they should've... no, I shan't say it. You can probably imagine.

Californication (2008 – 2013)

I haven't actually seen it, lol (and I suspect I won't enjoy it, but I'm very curious and also CKR looks really really good).

The real reason for this one on the list is to share a fic rec. Really, it's a due South F/K fic featuring Lew Ashby. It's ridiculously hot and very satisfying in its romantic resolution, too (but then, I'm kind of big on selfcest. And consensual voyeurism. And pretend relationships when done like this. And sublimated yearning. Erm.)

Shattered (2010 – 2011)

I wish this never happened. I badly, badly wish this never happened. I can't turn back time, but I can warn those luckier than me: do not go there. Yes, even for this dude. You'll sleep better not knowing just what it is he was the EP on. And the only important part — the mascara — can be seen above (yes, the show does look that bad, it's not just the gifs).

Just kidding — I watched it, didn't I? You'll have fun hating it! Just prepare for industrial grade cringe, lower your expectations (No, lower. No, still lower than that. And just a bit more.) and you'll have a great time!

Star trek: Discovery (2024)

Or, as I call it, Star Trek: The Mediocre Show. Discovery S5 was... what it was, but it was a wonderful viewing experience — mostly thanks to the gang (@kittkatk and @feroxargentea especially!)

What a joy it is, to follow a show week by week, yelling and laughing and discussing the whole time. And giffing, too. I was very happy to contribute to the Disco fandom from my own little obsessive corner, and I was glad to see people adoring Rayner, haha.

He's a pretty neat character — very much a stereotype, yes, but with CKR's usual twist of odd vulnerability and weirdness. Also, I loved the ears. I miss the ears. The ears were great.

I even wrote a fic! Although it's not within my usual range to write for canons and universes I don't know well — and back then, I'd only seen S5 of Disco. It was a lot of suffering, and a lot of fun.

Closing thoughts

I'd really love the dude to get a better agent. And possibly better taste, but I realise that's a tougher ask. Seriously, it's been too long since he was in something majorly cool. I'm grateful to him, at least, for not making terrible music on the side. And I still have a lot of his back catalogue to get through, some of it even good, so there will be more insanity. Until then!

[enluv]

The Wedding Date

PAIRING! - jay park x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS! - When invited to her younger sisters wedding in two weeks, Y/N L/N faces traveling alone back to Korea for the ceremony. While this seems bad enough, Heeseung, the man who left her with no explanation after four years of dating, happens to be the groom's best man. Determined to show everyone - most of all Heeseung - that her romantic life is as full and thrilling as ever, Y/N hires the ever so charming Jay Park as her date.

word count: 7.4K+!

warnings: angst, suggestive content - it’s implied and mentioned that reader & jay did the devils tango so please note this fic is16+ BUT it’s nothing crazy so just be warned, profanity, cheating, heeseung is super duper not cool in this tbh, lmk if I missed anything !!

genre(s): 16+!! - there are no descriptions of sexual acts but it is stated briefly so read at your own risk, rom-com, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, rent-a-boyfriend, & also slow burn romance but fast paced story

coco’s love note: this story is based on and inspired by the movie “the wedding date” some parts will be similar and depict similar instances while some will be different to fit the characters and the plots I’m writing for them! thank you so much & enjoy! (remember feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3)

"You are cordially invited to the wedding of Park Sunghoon and L/N Soohee to celebrate their marriage this June 30th at three o'clock.”

The words on the wedding invitation make your eyes roll, it’s laughable. Knowing neither of you had talked in almost two years it was a wonder why Soohee had chosen to invite you to her wedding. Perhaps it was your mother, she'd always wanted her two girls to get along at some point, but that was easier said then done. Or maybe it was your stepfather? He'd always said you were his favorite, maybe he'd somehow convinced her to invite you. Attending the wedding wasn't what worried you the most though, it was the thought of showing up alone.

Sure you could show up flying solo and hope no one would bat an eye, but did you really want to put yourself through that? The millions of whispers thrown at you as you walk by with no one on your arm? Absolutely not.

That's what brings you here, on a hot summers day as you read the morning paper from the patio of your home. The ads all consist of different services, some are posted for models, some plumbers, even things like babysitting, but you're on the hunt for one thing and soon enough an ad catches your eye. It’s perfect. The ad reads -

"Rent-A-Boyfriend: Are you in need of a date? Want to keep your parents off your back? Need to brag to your friends? Have to keep the relatives at bay? Well look no further! Hire me, Jay Park, profesional boyfriend. I can be anything you need me to be for any occasion! Shoot me a text at XXX-XXX-XXXX or email me at jay.park@gmail.com! Business inquiries only. Excited to date you soon!”

The ad had done its job and quickly enough you'd left Jay exactly seven different voice messages.

— YOU HAVE SEVEN VOICE MESSAGES, TO LISTEN: PLEASE PRESS NUMBER ONE.

VOICE MESSAGE #1 (9:17 PM):

"Errmmm...oh! It’s recording haha. Hello! This is Y/N L/N, umm so basically...oh um sorry I am so nervous haha. Okay so basically my name is Y/N and I need a date for my sisters wedding this month. Normally I'd have a date by now but I don't have the time to go out and date someone for two weeks and then force them to go to Korea with me ya know? So that's where I was hoping you'd come in! Oh shoot my time is running out...ummm okay give me a seco-"

VOICE MESSAGE #2 (9:23 PM):

"OH! HI! Sorry it cut me off last time haha oopsie! Anyways so basically the reason I need a date is because well basically I have this ex boyfriend his name is Heeseung and he kinda sorta dumped me like out of nowhere about two years ago. It was super sad but I was just like eh whatever dude. Then I came here to America haha not a good idea, anyways so yeah and he's gonna also be at that wedding because his best friend is actually the groom which makes him the best man and I can't-"

VOICE MESSAGE #3 (9:34 PM)

"Sorry cut off again but I can't show up alone it would be so embarrassing and we were engaged too by the way I don't know if I mentioned that already but yeah we dated for almost four years and he proposed to me and then boom just ended it so that's why I cannot by any means show up alone. Plus this is my baby sister that’s even more embarrassing, my younger sister getting married before me? Total loser moment."

VOICE MESSAGE #4 (10:45 PM):

"Sorry I forgot to give you details about the wedding lolz. It'll be in Korea, the countryside to be specific. It's on June 30th at 3pm at a wedding Chapel in the town we grew up in. We have to be there a week before. No worries though, l'II pay for our plane tickets. Since I'm the sister of the bride I have to do a lot of things with the bridal party and since you'll be my boyfriend you'd be doing things with the groomsmen. Sorry if that's too soon for you or if it doesn't work with your schedule, I'll pay you double I swear! I just really need this, need your help Jay."

VOICE MESSAGE #5 (11:38 PM):

"Um hi again, this'll be quick I promise. I just wanted you to know that if you can't do this it's okay! Thank you for your time. I really appreciate you.”

VOICE MESSAGE #6 (12:49 AM):

"Oh shit sorry this was an accidental dial. Have a good night haha! Sorry again!”

VOICE MESSAGE #7 (1:23 AM):

"Just give me a call back at XXX-XXX-XXXX if you do want to take the job and if not, no worries! I completely understand how last minute this may be. Have a good night Jay, sweet dreams."

— YOU HAVE ONE NEW VOICE MESSAGE: TO LISTEN PLEASE PRESS NUMBER ONE.

VOICE MESSAGE #1 (3:45 PM):

"Hey Y/N, this is Jay. I got your messages...all seven of them. No worries, I'd be happy to play your boyfriend at your sisters wedding, and about your ex, don’t even worry about him, we'll make sure he regrets his decision to ever leave you. You said we leave next week? Just send me the plane ticket and I'll be on that flight. See you soon Y/N, and don't worry too much, you've got this."

“Woah! Hottie in aisle three am I right?!”

“What are you talking about Sunoo, stop staring at the people riding our planes. It’s a long way back to Korea they don’t need you ogling them for all ten hours.”

“Excuse me but did you not say you’re waiting for your rent-a-boyfriend? Babes I think that’s him.” Sunoo points his perfectly manicured finger towards aisle three where a man dressed in black slacks and a white button up sits comfortably flipping through a book. His head turns up as he feels your eyes on him and a smile flashes across his face.

“Alright, go meet your hunk and sit down, we’re taking off soon anyway.”

You begrudgingly take a seat in front of him, if you’d known he’d be this attractive you’d definitely not have hired him.

“Are you Y/N L/N? Or am I completely wrong and making a fool out of myself?”

His voice is sweet, soft and husky, you turn slightly to face him and meet his soft eyes. No judgement is seen on his face.

“Hi! Yes I am Y/N, I’m assuming you’re Jay? Well you probably are haha, because I got you the seat behind me…okay so anyways hello!”

He laughs softly and nods his head, “Get some rest Y/N, we have a long week ahead of us. When we land let’s go find you a dress and talk business, that okay with you?” Your nod of confirmation has you both relaxed as you turn back around to do just as he said.

“How does this one look?”

“I think you look great in it, remember you’re beautiful and you’ve got a lot going for you. He’s gonna regret ever breaking up with you.”

“Ugh I can’t do it, I need to look good so no one asks me any kinds of questions!”

“Y/N I think you’re overthinking this a bit, just go with whichever dress makes you feel the most beautiful.”

“I think you look the best in the red one, uh personally speaking.” Jay eyes the boy cleaning the other dressing rooms and nods with a tight lipped smile.

“Hmm thanks kids, I’ll keep that in mind.” Pushing back in your eyes fall onto the hanging red dress.

“Alright so let’s talk business, we need a story. You’re the new temp at my job and we just started dating, let’s just say four months ago. You’re crazy about me and I asked you out because surprise surprise I’m also crazy about you too.”

He nods and gets up to leave the room but right as his hand reaches the doorknob you pull him back, closing the dressing room door.

“Here,” you shove an envelope into his hands, “count it. It’s six thousand even.”

Jay takes the envelope and begins putting it into his pocket but you insist he counts the money, he does so with an amused smile flashing across his face.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll pay for the expenses but if you ever want a piece of this,” he gestures to himself playfully, “we gotta talk money before anything happens.” Your scoff makes him chuckle, he’d only been kidding, he’d most definitely let you have him for free if you asked.

Jay takes in the venue of your sisters engagement party. It’s big enough to host more than fifty people, and it’s doing the job pretty well. He can tell you have a big family. From what you’d mentioned, your mom was Korean but moved to America for school and originally met your dad their but when he was out the picture she met your stepfather and the rest was history. Now your little sister, presumably the petite brunette eyeing you both now, was getting married to someone you’d both grown up with and his best man was you ex. Jay thinks your ex is a dumbass but he’s held his tongue on that thought knowing you’d probably get upset with him.

While he’d only known you for a few hours tops (not including your plane ride) he knew you were a kind person. You’d rambled to him about how you and your sister hadn’t spoke in two years yet here you were back at home to spend her wedding with her. He found it odd how you said yes to joining her bridal party activities but chose not to question you. He never understood sibling love much.

He watches as your sister runs towards you pulling you into a big hug, her smile never quite reaching her eyes but you’d never pick up on it if you weren’t paying close attention. He takes a note to ask you later why you two haven’t spoken in so long, but before he can gather his thoughts her voice breaks him out of it.

“So Y/N, who’s this? He’s cute…” her voice trails off and makes Jay internally cringe, it’s obvious she wants a reaction out of you.

He watches as you calmly turn towards him, resting an arm on his as you say, “This is Jay, he’s my boyfriend of four months. I decided I would take you up on that plus one offer!”

Momentarily your sisters eyes flash with what seems to be jealousy or maybe sadness, Jay can’t tell but he knows she looks anything but happy which is odd for someone about to marry the love of their life.

“Wow that’s great! How’d you two meet?”

“We met at work. I thought she was the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen in my life so I told her. She asked me out right after and the rest is history.” He pulls you closer and pecks your temple once he’s done answering. He knows just how to push buttons, especially with people like your sister.

At that very moment Park Sunghoon, your childhood best friend and sisters fiancé walks over pulling Soohee into a sloppy kiss, Jay notes he seems tipsy and excited about something. He watches your sisters demeanor change in an instant the minute Sunghoon walks over.

“Woah Y/N it’s been too long, I’ve missed my best friend, you have to visit more often seriously.”

“Oh I’m Park Sunghoon, Soohee’s fiancé and Y/N’s friend, we haven’t met before but I’m happy to see Y/N has someone to put a smile on her face.” His smile is captivating and contagious. Sunghoon seems like a nice enough guy in Jay’s eyes.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Jay leans over and offers a hand. “I’m Jay, Y/N’s boyfriend. She told me you invited me to join in on the groomsmen activities, thanks a lot I’m excited.”

“Of course! Any friend of hers is a friend of mine. Let me get your number and I’ll add you to the groupchat, we start soon so just be ready.” With the promise to text soon Sunghoon and Soohee are quickly whisked away leaving Jay with Y/N.

“Your sister seems…nice…”

Y/N can’t hide her laugh as she straightens her dress out, “Mhm love her to death but she can be a lot, now if you’ll excuse me I need to pee, I’ve had way too many drinks! Wait for me here.”

When exiting the bathroom you never thought you’d run into Lee Heeseung here of all places. It seemed as if lady luck was anywhere but on your side, as you watch him emerge from the door next to the same one you’d just came out of, his eyes grow wide as he spots you, quickly making his way towards you.

“Holy shit, Y/N! I was hoping I would see you here! You look beautiful as always.”

Your hearts beats as you look up towards him. It’d been almost a year since you’d last saw Lee Heeseung. He’d broken your heart in all of five minutes over the phone after spending a week in America with you. It was heart wrenching and soul crushing but you’d healed…or so you thought. Seeing Heeseung again was like ripping off a bandaid on a newly fresh wound. Heart begging to be held by him once more you knew immediately you had to find a way away from him and fast.

Thankfully just as you’d pulled away from his arms up ran your old friend Karina. She’d been someone you’d hung out with in high school and always called you up whenever you visited Seoul. Her squeals of excitement and hands pulling you into a hug helped with the longing to be next to Heeseung again. She looked towards him with hostility and popped the question right there in front of him.

“Y/N I’ve missed you so much! AH! Who’s the hottie you brought with you? Rumor has it he’s your new boyfriend…you tell me though, wanna hear it straight from the source herself.”

At this Heeseung’s head perks up from his previous gaze at the floor. He’s expecting to hear an answer, it’s obvious in the way his eyes stay on you.

“Oh. Um yeah. He’s actually my boyfriend. His name is Jay and we met at work. He’s the sweetest, you have to meet him! I’ll introduce you two soon.” Once again Karina’s squeals fill the air and Heeseung waves goodbye as she tugs you towards where Jay stands surrounded by your aunties. They seem to be enjoying the compliments he throws at them and you laugh quietly as you listen in on his conversations with them.

Jay watches as you stop to talk to someone by the doors of the bathroom, he contemplates walking over to you but decides to stop himself. He isn’t here to protect you, you can do that all on your own, he’s just here to provide some comfort in a stressful situation. His peaceful time of watching you is quickly interrupted when your aunties come over and preoccupy him. He’s done this before and is quick to play the best boyfriend he can be.

As soon as you walk over you’re pulled away by your aunties (much to his dismay) so Jay sets off to find something to keep himself busy. He soon spots the same man you were talking to earlier out on the balcony alone and decides to talk to him, he seems upset, might as well do something while you’re gone.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jay asks walking over swiftly to the man and smiling down at him.

“Oh. Uh. I guess it can’t get any worse than this. There’s this girl who I care about a lot,” he pauses to look back inside and Jay follows his gazes to where you sit with your sister and friend from before and his mind begins to turn, “I guess you could say I love her but of course with my luck, she’s here with some other guy.”

Jay lets out a low whistle and begins to talk but before he can process the situation you’re asking him if he’s okay and giving him a kiss on the lips, it leaves him dazed.

“Hey Y/N.” Heeseung says once quietly.

“Hey Y/N.” He repeats, this time louder than before.

Jay has a sudden realization as he looks back up at Heeseung, this is your ex, the same ex who broke your heart and the reason you hired him to be here.

“Oh hey Hee! Jay, this is Heeseung, he’s my ex.”

“Ah that’s why you looked a bit familiar.”

“What were you two talking about?”

“We were just-” Heeseung begins to talk but Jay cuts him off.

“I was telling him how we met.”

Heeseung nods frantically and stands tall again, he nervously grabs his cup and smiles, “I should head back inside, I’ll see you two later.”

“Did you see his face? Omg he looked so freaked out!”

“Mhm, and he told me he’s still head over heels in love with a girl he cares about a lot.”

Y/N’s bright smile bubbled up a feeling in Jay’s chest, but he shook it off as quickly as it came.

“Let’s get going pretty girl, I still need to meet your parents.”

Your house is huge, and yeah sure Jay is used to big houses, he grew up comfortably so houses around him were on the bigger side, but this house - your house is massive. He’s in awe as you stumble threw the front door hand in hand. A woman who looks just like you approaches speaking so quickly that Jay misses her question, but thankfully you’re quick to answer it.

“Hi mom. This is Jay,” a silent pause ensues after you reveal who he is to her.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Jay, sorry we don’t have a spare room for you. We weren’t exactly expecting you, Y/N has never really brought you up.” Jay can tell immediately who your sister takes after.

“No worries ma’am, I can just stay with Y/N.”

“Oh sorry my mom has this thing against boys sleeping with girl-”

Your mothers scoff cuts you off, her head shaking slowly, “Nonsense Y/N, you’re an adult. I know you two sleep together it’s normal, he’ll stay with you.”

You nod back at her wide eyed, and just as you’re about to speak a man pops up next to your mother, this time Jay does know who he is. Your lock-screen holds a picture of you two at a concert and you’d pointed out exactly who your stepfather was to him immediately. He waves a quick hello at Jay and pecks your temple, but he’s quick to whisks your mother away sending you a wink. Once you’ve made it to your room it’s almost midnight and both of you are exhausted from traveling and the party.

“Y/N, I’m gonna go ahead and shower, could you hand me my shampoo? I forgot to grab it and I’m already in.”

“Huh? Oh! Shampoo right…yeah of course I’ll get it right now.” Trudging over to Jay was easy, avoiding looking at the almost see-through shower curtain covering him was completely different. He smiles once you hand over the shampoo and goes back to humming along to a song stuck in his head.

“Hey Jay, what’s your story, like how did you get into rent-a-boyfriend?” You ask him taking a seat on the lid of the toilet.

“Well I’m an only child and my parents where always busy, grew up with very little friends and I was very protected at that. I like to think I was the weird kid who ate glue…anyways once I got my much needed glow up I didn’t know what to do with myself so I just started messing around. Clubbing, drinking, sex, all of that you know. Anyways my friend Jake found rent-a-boyfriend,” he steps out of the shower and stands directly in front of you, towel loosely wrapped around his waist, “and the rest is history.” He sends you a smirk before reaching for his phone sitting next to you on the counter, giving you the perfect view of his toned chest.

“Whatever, so what you just agreed to be a fake boyfriend like that?”

“Mhm, I trust Jake with my life he’s my best friend, dude would never sign me up for something that he knew I’d hate. Now come on it’s time for bed.”

The next day wedding activities start quickly, your sister has a day planned full for the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Things ranging from kickball (which Jay seems to be very good at and just so happens to beat Heeseung’s team in) to separate bachelor and bachelorette parties.

Both parties go great, with both you and Jay enjoying yourselves equally, but if you’d asked the other you’d both say all you wanted to do was go back home and see each other. It was an odd realization knowing you’d feel better at home with Jay, a mere stranger in your eyes.

“Y/N! Ugh I’ve been looking all over for you! I missed you so much, you really suck for not visiting more. I know we’re half sisters but I love you!! I missed you so freaking much,” Soohee slurs her words into your ear as she pulls you into a suffocating hug. You nod uncomfortably and hug her back, patting her on the back as she signals the bartender for more drinks. Just from the way she stares at you, you know the night is going to be long.

On Jay’s end of things he’s forced to take home a very drunk Sunghoon, who now seems more like a friend then a stranger. Earlier he’d over heard Heeseung telling Sunghoon about how he didn’t trust him, and while normally Jay didn’t care much for how people saw him, Heeseung really irked him. Yet here he was now, helping his best friend stumble home after their night out.

“Don’t tell Heeseung I said this, but Y/N looks way more happy with you then she ever did with him. I mean don’t get me wrong he’s my best friend and I’d literally die for him but the way she smiles at you is so different from any way she’s ever looked at him. I heard you the other day, telling her she was strong and could face everyone again. I was standing next to the door you two were by, anyways yeah Heeseung would have never done that. I love that idiot to death but the second he decided to break things off with her was the second he lost a really great person. You’re lucky Jay, can you just please keep her happy?”

Jay nods at him and Sunghoon sends him a grin, he walks up the steps to his house and waves a final goodbye back to him. Sunghoon’s words play in Jay’s head like a turntable, were you really happy with him? Did he seriously make you happy? Giddiness spread through him as he made his way back to your home only a couple doors down, ready to see you for the night.

Walking back into your bedroom and seeing Jay laid out reading a book half naked was a sight you’d never get tired of. He looked up at you taking in your figure and smiled.

“How was your night pretty?” The low gruffness of his voice sent shivers down your spine as you walked closer, watching as he sat up to meet your eyes.

“Something on your mind?” He asks quietly taking your hands in his.

“I’m going to do something, and if you don’t want it just tell me no, okay?” Jay nods with curiosity in his eyes.

His eyes widen as you straddle his lap, kissing him softly. He wasn’t expecting that, but he’s not complaining, soon enough he’s kissing back and you’re both rushing to undress one another, Jay more than you.

The night ended far too quickly and as you wake up with a snug arm wrapped around you, the memories of last night come flooding back in. You’d had sex with Jay, your rented boyfriend for the week, but it seemed neither of you minded it much, both eager to be together last night. A smile forms across your face as you move to stand only to be stopped by his arm tightening around your waist.

You both stumble downstairs hand in hand, running into both your parents. Your father stares at you two and wishes you a good morning, but your mother seems to sense something is different with you both. She sets down her coffee mug and calls for your cook to make breakfast. Jay is quick to make you your morning tea. He remembers how much you hate coffee.

After the dance class your sister plans for both parties, you’re left walking around a park with Jay. He can sense something is off as you slip your hand away from his grasp.

“Y/N are you okay?”

“Do you regret last night?”

You both speak at the same time, laughing awkwardly as you gesture for one another to speak first.

“I don’t regret last night Y/N,” he pauses to grab your hand, “I actually enjoyed it very much.” His laugh fills the tension filled air between you two.

“Are you sure? I can seriously pay you if that’s what you want I mean-” a tug at your wrist stops you from finishing, Jay shakes his head at you.

“Y/N you’re a beautiful idiot,” he sighs pulling you closer, “I was joking about paying me, and if you must know I’ve never slept with a client, ever.”

“Then why did you sleep with me? Oh god did I take advantage of you in a drunken state? Oh my god Jay.”

“No you idiot, I did it because I’m attracted to you, and you’re attracted to me, we’re two consenting adults who find one another attractive so we acted on it, that’s all.”

You nod at his words, still not fully agreeing with him but there wasn’t any other explanation, you were attracted to him so just as he said, you’d acted on it, that was all.

You two spend the day getting to know one another even more, Jay tells you his likes and dislikes, mother and fathers name, how he met Jake, and more. You spend hours talking before falling asleep cuddled up on your bed, tomorrow you both had to be up early for Soohee’s final days of wedding activities, starting with a nice family get together at your parents lake house.

What happens the next day is not something Jay ever wanted to deal with. As he watches you twirl around with your friends and run through the field chasing Sunghoon surrounding the lake behind your parents house, his insides churn at the thought of what he just witnessed. Not even an hour before Jay had actually gotten your fathers approval, he sat him down and they talked for an hour, he’d told Jay the story of his first time being introduced to you as his wife’s daughter and immediately knowing you’d be someone special in his life. He recounted how not a day went by where he didn’t worry about you alone in America but when you had showed up with him, Jay, on your arm his worries dwindled at the loving looks Jay sent your way.

This was not fun anymore, the angel and devil perched on his shoulders were fighting over what to do with the information he’d learned. Either he tell you and hurt you, or he could keep it to himself and just pretend he never knew a thing. The latter sounded perfect in his mind.

“And well sometimes we find the best thing for us and you know that’s not the best thing for others, so you have to do what’s best for you as a person you know and so that’s why we as humans always pick what’s best for us, we’re pretty selfish if you think about it really.”

Looking anywhere but Heeseung you’d spotted Jay, he smiled and waved you over, quickly bidding Heeseung and his odd dialogue a goodbye you’d ran straight towards an awaiting Jay.

“You seem to be very popular today Mr.Park. First my dad and just now my mom? Something tells me they like you.”

His chuckle sends butterflies through your stomach, “Yeah they said they’re excited to welcome me to the family, something about you having a terrible ex who wasted your time for four years? Your moms words, not mine.”

“She hates his guts, glad she likes you though.”

He smiles leaning in to peck your lips, “Yeah I’m glad she likes me too, kinda plan on staying for a bit.”

“Hey lovebirds, we’re taking pictures, come here!”

The next day, is the day before the wedding and it’s just as packed as all the other days but this time it’s filled with anxiety, Soohee and Sunghoon are buzzing with anxious excitement, your parents are terrified for tomorrow and everyone is sitting anxiously awaiting to give their toast.

Soohee wanted a closed family rehearsal dinner so they’d decided today would be the day to do it.

Jay sits next to you with his left hand rubbing your thigh, he listens as your mother recounts how you and Soohee fought over a boy when you were in both in grade school, she theorizes that’s why you two have a hard time getting along. Everyone laughs at the stories spewing from both your parents, the atmosphere is almost perfect. Perfect however, does not exist within this realm of people.

“Hey babe, I’m gonna go get more wine, don’t miss me too much.” You whisper to Jay standing and walking off towards the wine cellar.

A pair of footsteps catches your attention and when you turn around you spot Heeseung.

“I feel like I owe you an explanation.”

“Heeseung, relax. It’s fine. I promise.”

“I just feel like I should tell you that, god this is so fucking hard.”

“Did you know, I actually brought Jay to make you jealous, to torture you for the week, but then I don’t know, something happened and now I’m just so freaking happy with him. He makes me so happy honestly, and if we’re being honest Hee, I am so tired of this, of me and you. I’m ready to move on for good so let’s just go back upstairs and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

The weight on your shoulders feels lifted, you’d been wanting to finally feel free from Heeseung for months now and finally you were able to do it. Finally you could be happy and be with-

“I slept with Soohee, Y/n. I slept with your sister and I think I’m in love with her. It was two years ago, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, that’s why I broke up with you, and then after we broke up we keep sleeping with each other for a few months. We stopped because of you, we knew it was wrong.”

“Can you please say something Y/N. Please just say anything please.” His pleas pierced your ears.

The wine cellar had begun to spin, the second he’d first told you, the room went dark and you couldn’t breathe properly. What the fuck just happened. Heeseung and Soohee slept together? He had cheated on you with your sister? He was in love with her.

Walking out the cellar Heeseung followed quickly behind, soon enough you’d made it back outside to the dinning area, Karina spotted you two and smiled wide but it soon dropped at your demeanor.

“Oh my god he told you didn’t he.”

“You knew?”

“Y/N I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N.”

“You sound just like him.”

“I promise it’s not like that Y/N-“

“Y/N?” Soohee’s voice pierces through the air around you and you know she knows what’s happening.

“Y/N please listen to me,” she tries resting her hand on your shoulder but you push her off, “Y/N please don’t say anything to Sunghoon. Please, I’m begging you.”

Strong arms pull you into them and you’re quick to hug him back. Jay feels like a breath of fresh air in the seemingly smog filled venue.

“I can’t believe you told her!” Soohee shouts as Jay stills in your arms and your world crashes all over again.

Jay watches as you take a step away from him, pushing him towards the others who’d betrayed your trust. His heart aches at the look you send him, he knows he’s fucked up, he’s fucked up really bad.

He chases after you as you walk away from the venue, he needs to make things right.

After the talk with your dad, Jay realized he’d forgotten the sun hat you’d asked him to bring outside for you so he trudged back inside to grab it but loud arguing distracted him. Being the gentleman he was, Jake liked to call him that at least, he walked over to the room to see what was happening and standing before him he saw Soohee and Heeseung. The arguing continued as he stepped into view of them.

“I love you Soohee, I miss us, I miss you.”

“Heeseung no. I love Sunghoon, we slept together for a few months but that is all it ever was. I am getting married to Sunghoon, your best friend.”

“You don’t think I know that? It kills me to see you with him!”

Jay is left speechless, your ex Heeseung and your very own sister, had slept together. He had to get away from them both, now.

“Jay? How long have you been standing there.” Soohee’s voice broke him out his thoughts and when he looked back up Heeseung was gone.

“I don’t know what you heard but it’s in the past Jay, it’s not important anymore, please just stay out of it, it doesn’t involve you.” She pushes past him out the door he’s standing next to. Jay is left wondering what to do with the information he’s just been presented..

“You knew and you didn’t tell me? How could you do that to me Jay?”

“What did you want me to say? It’s harder than it seems Y/N.”

“You lied to me. But I guess I should have expected that since that’s what you do. That’s who you are Jay, you’re a liar.”

“Really Y/N? Should I remind you that you hired me. You hired me to be your boyfriend, you’re paying me.”

“You’re right. I paid six thousand dollars for a lie and in the end I’m the only one coming out a fucking fool.”

“Hate me all you want Y/N, but it’s time you get over this Heeseung thing, you’re dragging it out, maybe now though, once you move on from Heeseung, you can cry over our relationship long enough and let it ruin your next one too.”

“Y/N? I came to say thank you for not outing me to Sunghoon today. I’m going to tell him, I just don’t want to tell him the night before our wedding.”

“You’re smart Soohee, telling him after the wedding allows you to trap him, because you know the minute he finds out you fucked his best friend repeatedly behind his back he’ll want to leave, but he won’t be able to because he’s married to you.”

“Don’t worry Soohee, your wedding tomorrow will be perfect. I’ll smile for the camera and keep my mouth shut but after tomorrow I never want to see or speak to you again. I hope you have a happy marriage built on the lies you created. Sunghoon deserves better then you’ll ever be able to give him.” Soohee’s quiet sobs lessen as she leaves the room. Finally you had some peace.

The day of the wedding felt like a blur, you’d woken up early to get your hair and makeup done, smiling when needed and laughing at whatever the bridal party said. It felt like you were a shell of nothing in your own body. Soohee tossed glance after glance at you, looking away quickly when you’d catch her. She’d never been one to like when people were upset with her and you knew it was driving her crazy to not know what you were thinking. Truth be told at any moment you could call up Sunghoon and tell him the truth, but a voice of reason seemed to still be lingering in your mind and it made you hope she’d do the right thing, tell him before the wedding continued, yet so far it didn’t seem like she’d be doing that.

Everyone rushed around the wedding chapel to get things in order, photographers and other vendors Soohee had hired ran around finding their places to make sure the day went as planned but the nerves in her stomach just wouldn’t go away. The echo of your words rattled in her mind, would she really be trapping Sunghoon? She knew if it were her, she’d want an out. She cursed you in her head as she made the decision to do the right thing, he deserved to know at least. Hopefully he’d be able to forgive her, hopefully he still wanted her.

Jay thinks whatever god is looking down on him right now is probably laughing his ass off at his suffering. He knows he shouldn’t have snapped back at you, especially not with the state of mind you had been in. It fucking broke him to hear your sobs as he turned away from you. On top of all that, now he was just going to up and leave you. He’d bought a plane ticket back home last night after talking to Sunghoon. He didn’t spill any descriptive details, and had told him a less intense version of your fight. Sunghoon laughed in his face and told him he was just in love. Jay told him to fuck off and shut up.

As he drove down the roads of the rural Korean countryside, thoughts filled his mind. He brought the car to a stop and contemplated what to do. On one hand, he had a plane ticket and his suitcases packed to go back home right now but on the other, all he had to do was turn around, pray you’d forgive him, apologize, and admit that Sunghoon was right.

Pulling him from his thoughts was the man himself, speak of the devil and he shall appear apparently. Jay looked up to find Sunghoon chasing after a very scared looking Heeseung. Someone had finally told him then, that was good. He watched as Sunghoon tackled Heeseung and they rolled down a hill. Heeseung escaped and continued running, never looking back. Sunghoon on the other hand stopped to catch his breath, catching sight of Jay in his car. He waved him down and hopped into the seat next to him.

“I love Soohee, I really do. I’m going to forgive her, she said they slept together before we officially got together and it stopped once I asked her out. I just wanted to beat his ass because he hurt Y/N.”

Jay nodded as Sunghoon rambled on about how insane Heeseung was for ever doing what he did to you. He blamed them both but he could only poor his anger out on Heeseung right now.

“Do you think I’m crazy for taking her back? For still wanting to marry her?”

“No, you love her, anyone can see. I think she’s obviously sorry, she could have not told you and just made you marry her but she gave you a choice and came clean. When you love someone you have that kind of courage, and you let others dictate your life for you even if one of the outcomes could ruin you forever.” As Jay spoke aloud to Sunghoon reality set in, he needed to go back to you, to apologize for his mistakes, to show you he loved you and accepted you and anything you decided he was worthy of having.

“Looks like we’ve got a wedding to go back to then, and I’m out a best man so what do ya say?”

Jay smiled and nodded at Sunghoon.

“Hell yeah man, let’s go.”

Seeing you again felt surreal, it made Jay’s heart beat a million times per minute. You looked gorgeous in the bridesmaids dress Soohee had picked for you, your hair beautifully styled to perfectly match you. Jay had never felt this happy, he’d never felt so excited to do something.

As Sunghoon had ran past you, Jay jogged up to you, pulling you into a kiss, he’d been wanting to kiss you again for so long, he melted within the first second of it.

“God Y/N, you have no idea how fucking sorry I am, I love you and I should have told you about Heeseung and Soohee, I just couldn’t bring myself to break your heart. I never want to be the one to hurt you, I love you so damn much, I’d rather give you up then hurt you. I know it hasn’t been long but I feel like we’ve known each other for years. I want to take you on a date, a real one, and I want to be your boyfriend, your real boyfriend, not one you rented for a week, and I need you to know that I’ll take anything you want to give me, I didn’t mean what I said yesterday, you didn’t ruin anything. Hell I’m the one ruining things. I just need you to know I care about you.”

“I realized today that I could never do what I did without you this past week. You are quite literally the best fake boyfriend anyone could ask for. I want to have you to myself Jay, don’t want to share you with anyone else, I’m done sharing. I want you to be mine, but really mine, not for a week, for a lifetime.”

“Glad we’re on the same page beautiful. We can talk more when we have the time but right now we have to head inside, I’m sorta the best man.”

Epilogue

Jay has you pressed against his kitchen counter attacking your neck when banging on his apartment door brings you both out of the lovestruck trance you’re currently in.

“Open up you fucker!”

Jay rolls his eyes at the voice clearly recognizing it immediately, but as he goes to open the door it flies open, hitting the back wall.

“Why’d you quit rent-a-boyfriend? Bro you were literally number one! I know I said I wanted to steal it from you but I didn’t mean that way idiot.”

“You can ask her why I deleted it.” He replies, pointing towards your direction.

Now standing and properly dressed, you wave at the man before you, he seems just as confused as you are.

“Pretty girl, this is my best friend Jake, and Jake this is my girlfriend Y/N.” A smile spreads across Jake’s face and he’s quick to pull you into a hug.

“Oh dude! You should have just said that! I see why now, what a dog! She’s way to pretty for you by the way.”

“Thanks Jake, I know I am but he’s a good kisser so I keep him around.”

“I like her already! Wanna go get some lunch? On me of course to celebrate you finding a girl who actually likes you and isn’t paying you to date her.”

“Deal, but just so you know, I did pay him to date me. Not anymore though.”

Jake’s mouth hangs open as you walk past him to grab your shoes, he’s astonished that someone as gorgeous as you needed to pay for a date. Jay sends him a look and promises to explain at lunch as he chases after you.

Jake would never admit it out loud but he’s happy Jay’s finally found someone to make him happy and the smile on your faces just shows him how right you are for one another.

Three years later he’s proven right as he opens up the envelope addressed to him. It’s an invitation that reads –

“You are happily invited to the wedding of Jay Park and Y/N L/N on the 31st of October, at three o’clock. Please join them for this amazing celebration!”

coco’s love note: ahhh and that’s a wrap on the wedding date! I really hope you all enjoyed it, honestly it was really fun to write especially coming up with things to fit the characters I chose for this fic in specific :) it was hard making heeseung the bad ex but he was the perfect fit 😭 and i love jay being the ml like he’s perfect for rom-coms!! anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic and as always, feedback & reblogs are always appreciated <3

[torawro]

cw ━━ ! minors, ageless and blank blogs DO NOT INTERACT. this is a toji-centric fic (exclusively from his pov with third person narration) so it doesn’t truly have a reader, but the “woman” often being mentioned throughout is afab. loosely based on chapter 75 of the manga. contains heavy (ish) angst + and descriptions of angst. contains nsfw and descriptions of explicit scenarios, including penetrative sex (reflecting on it already happening) and masturbation (m. receiving, mentions of dried cum). metaphorical (sort of??) depictions of dark themes (i.e., nonexistent “voices”, bad coping skills, toji’s deep emotional and mental trauma, hints of dissociation, etc.). toji is emotionally stunted n constipated and therefore kinda rude. i’m trying to depict him as realistically as possible. lmk if i missed something ♡.

word count ━━ ! 2.0k

notes ━━ ! i posted this fic last night but i am reposting because it wasn’t showing up in the tags (sobs loudly) so i'm sorry for tagging everyone again. i hope you all enjoy this though. wanted highlight an important aspect of toji's life (after mamaguro's death) in a different way bc a lot of the fandom glosses it over w/ jokes. they can be funny or whatever but what this man has been through is actually sad and must have been difficult. since gege refuses to give more backstory on him, i wanted to try and verbalize a more somber, realistic version of toji and dissect him a bit. hopefully i did well characterizing him in this context. reblogs and commentary are very much appreciated!!!!

TOJI'S RAGGED BREATHS SOON evened out after a few minutes. His strong, scarred chest resumed its normal pattern and pacing of its rises and falls. The tail end of his constrained groans of pleasure and expletives lingered in the air along with the stuffy aroma of sex.

With his head resting against the headboard of this woman's bed━ a woman whose name briefly escaped from his mind━ and his increasingly soft cock resting in his callous palms, Toji's eyes slowly pried themselves open and were motionlessly glued to the white ceiling.

He laid there in that position, unmoving, for at least five minutes. Silence swallowed up the space of the room, except for the distant sound of a shower running directly across the hall.

At present, all Toji had the energy for was to breathe and blink. He didn't even move to immediately rid himself of his own ropes of cum that were beginning to harden in his hand in spots on his inner thighs.

Like a spark of static electricity giving him a miniscule jolt of energy, Toji found it within himself to drag his dark, jade irises over to the bedroom door that was slightly ajar, and stared at it as he listened to the water from the showerhead rain on the woman bathing herself.

The events of the last couple of hours replayed throughout his mind's eye as he blankly stared at the entryway. He thought about how he met the woman at one of the establishments he preferred to gamble his money at and how her sugary smile sweetened his silver tongue. He pondered over how he somehow persuaded her to take him back to her very nice apartment, and how he in return gained a place to lay low and rest for the next week or so, by coaxing her with his words and his well-endowed cock.

A gruff, sardonic chuckle fell from his parted lips when he then started thinking about the intercourse he engaged in with this woman. Despite how good it was, despite how her cunt squeezed and fluttered around him, at the end of it all, he still had to resort to pumping his own length like a touch deprived teenager just to obtain that release that's been building up over the last few hours.

Mentally shaking away the lethargy that plagued every square inch of his brain and body, the former Zen'in lifted his head and directed his vision at his bare lap and the sheets that pooled around his knees. Allowing his head fall forward a bit, his inky black hair acted as curtains to conceal his scarred face━ and the other thoughts that lurked in the shadows of his mind that threatened to reveal themselves on his countenance.

If this is what post-nut clarity truly felt like, Toji would have preferred to remain in the state of blissful ignorance and perpetual 'arousal' forever.

He's never felt so blinded by his reality than he did in this moment.

As he thought over this, dark tendrils of smoke rose and slithered out from his repressed memories, suffocating his consciousness like a python squeezing the life out of its prey. He ignored the sensation and its whispers that told him that that wasn't true. He lent a deaf ear to its reminders that he had always been cognizant.

Toji had always been painfully aware of his feelings and the realities that were constantly handed to him. The reality of the life he ran away from, the reality that crumbled away and died with his wife, and of the fucking pathetic reality that stared at him in the face in the form of his dried seed and some stranger's bed. Deep down he unfortunately remembered and was aware of everything. He only became increasingly more conscious, as the months and years toiled by, that he didn't want to be. It was less of a pain that way.

But goddamn it, sometimes his mind was too sharp for its own good, his thoughts strayed too far that it would pierce his very heart and soul.

Toji's vacant gaze was no longer trained on his hands, but more like past them━ into the metaphysical void of space itself, and he was dragged deeper into thoughts he didn't like to revisit or linger on. Everything around him seemed to become muffled and faded into nonexistence.

Toji had previously believed that he didn't care how he lived anymore, as long as he got paid what he was owed and someone didn't try to assassinate him as he slept, then everything else was fine. He believed that going through life like this was no big deal, that this ephemeral living situation didn't bother him. He again ignored the tendrils that reminded him that it did.

A grimace of contempt formed on his face when he subconsciously compared his current behavior of jumping from woman to woman to that of some kind of male prostitute. It shouldn't have bothered him, really━ wasn't like he put a gun to any of their heads or something. It was their problem if they wanted to spread their legs for him, and he enjoyed sex, relatively free meals and some extra spending cash here and there. None of that was supposed to tug uncomfortably at his soul but it did.

And it made sense that it did, when memories of his late wife still flashed in his mind from time to time━ like at this very moment, for example. She appeared whenever his eyes fluttered shut for too long or when he was pulled so far underneath the surface of his own thoughts. Strangely enough, this wasn't exclusive to after having sex with another woman or mindless masturbating.

He was supposed to have gotten rid of that stupid self-respect, this dignity and its adjacent shame, that still lingered in the back of his chest.

He promised himself that he wouldn't live by such standards of pride anymore. He hasn't for a long time, and has been doing well but. . . . but why did the specters of doubt still haunt him so? Hasn't he suffered enough? Those remnants and emotions of an existence that slipped through the cracks and fell into the abyss, shouldn't be able to reach him all the way up here.

But they did.

Toji wasn't as foreign to doubt, to shame, to pride & to self-respect as he thought he was. He'd just been fooling himself. He had always been very persuasive.

None of those things had ever done him any good anyway. All they did was remind him that he was still human.

A useless sentiment. One that no longer mattered.

He shifted his head to the right, gaze hooded before he briefly closed his eyes━ as if he were trying to avert his attention away from something disturbing━ in a feeble attempt to extinguish the wispy embers of his thoughts and ignore its voice.

But Toji’s soul would always smolder with rejection, a characteristic of his that was so deeply ingrained into the fabric of his existence, it wouldn't dissipate no matter how much he wanted it to. His acceptance or refusal of this notion would always be apart of him━ it would always define who he was, whether he welcomed it or not.

But he didn’t care. Caring would make him feel, and reflect and remember too much, and he wasn't really itching to do any of those things anymore.

He only opened his eyes again by a few centimeters, his long dark lashes nearly obscuring his vision completely. His broad shoulders faintly slumped forward, and the fist he didn’t know was clenched into a fist relaxed itself. Like everything else, he ignored the dull ache his short finger nails caused, creating crescent shaped marks on his hand.

The large man hadn't realized the woman was finished with her shower until his ears picked up the sound of her feet on the hardwood floor. The padding noise that steadily increased in volume was enough to break Toji free of his torpid stupor, allowing him to swing his legs over the bed and finally stand up.

Stretching out his limbs and rolling his shoulders, his muscles flexed and shifted across the wide planes of his marred but statuesque body.

As he began looking around for his shirt and boxers, his phone vibrated on the bedside table. Toji picked up and answered without even bothering to check who it was, because there were only two people that had this particular number. And one of those people had an unfortunate "accident” during a previous job.

“What is it?” he answered, slightly startling himself with his own voice; it didn’t quite sound like it came from his mouth. It seemed a little raspier, rougher around the edges, and deeper than usual, like he hasn't spoken in long time.

“Now is that any way to greet the person who so generously hands you on a silver platter?” Shiu Kong’s equally deep but honey-smooth voice reverberated in Toji’s ear.

Toji’s eye roll was practically audible as Shiu chuckled mirthfully on the other line, already imagining the look on his client’s face.

Without having to turn around, he sensed the presence of the woman he was currently “staying” with enter the room. He couldn’t even be bothered to acknowledge her wrapping her arms around him from behind and kissing his upper back before floating off to her vanity and closet, which sat on the other side of the room closer to the door.

Still, even though he wasn’t next to her, Toji knew he couldn’t speak as freely as he would of liked now, which irritated him.

“Do you have something for me or not?”

“I wouldn’t be calling if I didn’t.”

After listening to what Shiu had to say, and agreeing to confirm the meeting spot via text, the phone call between them ended as swiftly as it started. Toji sighed.

Another job.

Another chance to earn money.

And although he didn’t wholly or immediately admit it to himself, it was his new distraction, and another chance to reject the wretched society that birthed him.

Toji had unknowingly zoned out trying not to think too hard about this, before the woman’s voice regained his attention by cutting through the air like a knife on a chopping board.

“Did you hear me? I was just asking who that was? . . . . Are you okay?”

The raven haired man remained still for a moment before directing his stare at the woman. He was nearly staring down his nose at her, confusion, concern and light curiosity laced in her own eyes.

The silence carried on for what felt like ages, Toji’s mostly unreadable but still intimidating expression scalded the space in between them.

But, as if his thoughts and whatever emotions it mirrored were never there to begin with, the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, and the scar that stretched across his lips curved with them in tandem. His smirk looked disarming— maybe even harmless, but something about it felt cold and wolfish, as if it weren’t genuine.

“I’m really sorry if this comes as a bit of a shock and disappointment to you, but if I'm not mistaken, I believe the phone call came through my phone. Not yours, and not ours. Thanks for the concern though, sweetheart.”

As he headed towards the door, still bare as the day he was born, Toji didn’t miss the opportunity to glide a heavy hand across the woman’s delicate shoulder blades, his grin widening by a fraction when she tried and failed to suppress a shudder.

“Oh, and um I made a little bit of a mess on the sheets after you left so, you might wanna clean that up. Probably already dried up by now. Sorry 'bout that,” his voice dipped low, utterly tantalizing as he whispered against the woman’s earlobe. The man didn’t even stick around to see her reaction, as he was already out the door and making his way to the bathroom for his own shower.

When the water warmed up to his liking, he didn’t waste any time stepping in and letting the droplets cascade down his body and relax his muscles.

Running his left hand through his hair to push it out of his face, he inhaled and exhaled deeply. Toji was able to silence and cool down the smoldering coal that burned at the bottom of his soul, the opaque tendrils retracting back to whence it came.

Just . . . . nearly.

(#) @triangularz @stygianoir @valentineluvu @ramonathinks @valentineluvu @ryukenzz @gabzlovesu @luxesiren @honeybleed @blkjupiters @souyaszn @sxphyroth . let me know if you wanna join my tag list ♡. again i apologize for tagging folks twice, this is a repost of the original 💔

[wonwooslibrary]

svt as boyfriends ♡ jihoon edition

member: woozi x reader

genre: fluff, bullet points

word count: 878

summary: jihoon’s boyfriend things

warnings: a very small mention of periods, and that's it

author’s note: hahah i actually forgot to write this time!!! but hey i'm on break from school now so I had time to whip this out and post if for all the woozidans who are about to knock my door down for forgetting abt our precious jihoonie's day anyway please enjoy !!! <3

Jihoon is the epitome of a quiet bf 

He just kinda exists and so do you and you both love it like that 

He’s also the (obvs) producer bf 

Quality Time

I think that Jihoon’s favorite thing to do with you would be to teach you how to write or produce music 

Or even accompany him at the gym because even if you don’t work out too, this man cannot, for any reason, miss leg day

He likes showing you what he is interested in, and of course, you love listening to him talk about his hobbies

I think he would also be the type to just…enjoy whatever you like, too

For example, you would have a show that you both specifically watch together, and maybe even read a book together and talk about the characters in them you liked or something 

Also !!! coffee dates !!! Y’all would totally have a specific date night on like Thursdays or something and you would always so to a coffee shop or a cafe or something and sit together and talk aaa he’s so sweet 

Cringy movie scenes like a large milkshake with two straws is the perfect way to summarize these dates too 

Words of Affirmation

Surprisingly, I don’t think Jihoon would be big on pet names or nicknames…he’d just stick with your name or a nickname you like being called 

He says it makes it easier to not call you something embarrassing in front of his friends, but we all know its because if he makes nicknames, you will too and he refuses to be called something cute in front of other people 

Always compliments you!!! And encourages you!!! 

“Y/N-nie, you’re working so hard, of course you’ll do great on that exam” 

Or even “Y/N-nie you’re such an amazing person and I am glad that you’re with me” 

Jihoon cannot physically or mentally take a compliment so if you compliment him back he’ll just be like “thanks…?” before destroying you in a compliment war 

Mans likes words so ofc like his quality time, he would write the most perfect songs ever for you and they would perfectly express his love for you in ways he would otherwise not be able to comprehend 

Physical Touch

We all know this man is a cuddle-bug on the inside, so of course that means that Jihoon has his needy time aka he must be the little spoon: no ifs, ands, or buts

I think Jihoon would appreciate a good back hug from you if you’re taller than him, and if you’re shorter, he loves when you rest your head on him :( 

I don’t think Jihoon is one for PDA, obviously (poor Hoshi) so there would be barely any proof to an outsider that y’all are actually dating to begin with 

Likes to keep hand-holding to a minimum, especially when in the studio, but he doesn’t mind when you sit with him and put your legs over his lap 

Or even play with his hair while he is working !! He likes soft things just only when you guys are alone together 

He’s just a shy baby fr 

Acts of Service 

When he comes home late, he makes sure that the apartment is tidy and clean before showering and going to bed because he knows it stresses you out seeing a messy place as soon as you wake up 

Cannot make food for the life of him please do not allow him in the kitchen unless he has a very specific task (he has zoned out while humming new melodies too often and burnt food is not a pleasant smell for your apartment) 

Always makes sure that you’re phone, watch and computer/tablet are plugged in at the end of the night, because you need them to be just as prepared for the next day as you

He would totally get sad if you do all the cleaning by yourself because he says that you work too hard making the messes, you don’t need to be cleaning them too 

You say the same thing to him when the boys make a mess in the living room when they are drinking and you offer to help clean up 

If you have periods, when you are getting close to it starting, he makes sure that your products are always stocked up so you don’t have to worry about getting anything 

Gift Giving 

Two words: Spotify playlists 

Jihoon would be over the moon with both making them for you and also receiving them from you 

I feel like Jihoon is also the type to just randomly show up with something and hold it out to you and just say “this make me think of you so I got it” 

Is super embarrassed when he does so but you love it so he’ll get over it when he sees how happy you are 

Is definitely not one for huge and expensive gifts like jewelry, cars and all of that stuff, but loves getting little trinkets and stuffed animals for you because let's be real: who doesn’t like a really cute and soft plushie? 

Doesn’t like receiving gifts because he feels bad when others spend time and money on him but >:( how dare he!!! He needs to be appreciated!!!

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Anyways the “essay” about the energy sword to character development pipeline below the cut

Ok so like yea tucker-crunchbite-junior is, obviously, the first instance of the sword-quest-companion theme/trio that im like, rattling in my head rn

Tucker finds the sword, crunchbite shows up and theres the “quest” that challenges tucker both in the false intent (you need to be the hero) and the true intent (SA leading to Junior which is not handled well but it IS important) which is a push against tucker’s character thus far in that he’s the comic relief, make everything a sex joke archetype— he doesnt take it seriously, he doesnt see himself as important beyond getting just enough recognition to be “hot” and now he’s made to be the so called “hero” and the true plot puts him in the one position that he probably never thought could be him. Bc he wants to get laid so… yeah. Pushes his character if you give it like three seconds of critical thinking and not just the standard “haha alien baby bullshit” (that said, i do enjoy fics that explore crunchbite more and play with the potential of the “joke” shitty character into someone less sinister, but im doin my best to stick to canon rn)

And JUNIOR, oh man, because theres the thing that really solidifies this for me like

The dude who doesnt care doesnt bother is all jokes and ‘man whatever’ energy is a dad, and it starts with him trying to avoid it but he really fucking quickly steps the FUCK up for Junior and its the start of his development that people are like “oh he learns to be a leader on chorus” which i mean kinda yeah but he never struck me as a Leader even on Chorus even tho he does decidedly lead, its not the same as when kimball leads or when wash leads or carolina

He’s leads as a dad bc he is a dad

Not always a good one, but he’s trying and yea sometimes that means being the asshole, sometimes that means screwing up but it also means you fucking care and you take responsibility and you put yourself in danger first (the rescue mission, leaving the lieutenants behind)

And that doesnt start on chorus! Its the most evident there sure but

it starts with junior

It starts with him going after tex to protect his son, it starts with him trying to be a diplomat so they stay together, in sending junior away so he is safe while tucker buys time protecting the temple, it STARTS with him looking at church and going “leave my kid out of this” and yeah the way rvb was written and approached does Not take that seriously bc it wouldnt and if it did it would be a very different show but the implications are there and its acknowledged with tucker’s photograph of junior with his 5th grade basketball team (“i know right? Who carries actual pictures anymore” -tucker) which i could go on about THAT too but suffice to say its very clear that tucker cares so gd much about his kid and yeah his character development isnt super linear but you can basically pinpoint when it starts with the sword and junior

The second run of this trio of things is actually grif which is admittedly, a stretch, a big ol reaching for straws (okay, TECHNICALLY grif is the third run, but i’ll address that in a minute) largely a stretch bc grif… does the pattern backwards

This IS S16 stuff so if ur a shisno paradox hater i respect that, i however am gnawing on it with everything i have and will be going feral so this is your warning thank u for reading the tucker side of it mwah appreciate ya

Anyways

Grif does his plot backwards during timetravel shenanigans

He gets the alien companion/friend who contrasts his character first in Huggins

Grif is a loyal friend, but he is lazy, even after s15’s breakdown and apparent change of tune, he’s still looking to take the path of least resistance, avoiding the call, trying to keep things from moving

Enter Huggins: zippy, full of energy, excitable and just so different in that she is not only so proactive she puts herself in danger (which helps everyone in the long run/plot but its the principle) but shes so fucking lonely

As far as she knows, her family is dead, except for muggins who is so dettached from her, he might as well be a coworker and not her brother

Compared to grif, who has a family even when he tries to push them away (the reds, the blues, KAIKAINA) but hates taking action

Huggins is the start for grif’s arc of “it sucks but someones gotta do it” which in their case is best shown as the trudge across the bottom of the english channel which is so fucking funny to me but it really pushes both of them and puts them firmly in the friends category

Huggins cant zip ahead without grif, grif cant stop moving because huggins wont let him, so they find their little balance of gas vs brakes and together they cruise along p well

The actual push of the “quest” is grif having to be the one who steps up (kinda like tucker but its to the left) he’s the one who starts getting everyone together again across the timeline, even if he is very,,,

Well he’s very Grif about it, but it is still fundamentally, the change in character

Tucker isn’t a always good dad, Grif isn’t always a good instigator of action

But theyre trying and theyre working on it and grif’s arc suffers a Little from being so late in the show and thus not having much of a parallel to pull on but you could argue he gets the parallel from s15 anyways with the refusal of the call (from fake church/loco) and rescue mission but i hesitate to call that a parallel bc its literally back to back but an argument could be made for it which i love

Enter part two: the alien quest giver

“Wait wasnt that huggins”

NOPE huggins was alien companion! The Bestie in grif’s case,

The alien fetch quest comes from atlas, in that stupid wishing sequence but cmon it wouldnt be rvb if the character development wasnt sandwiched inbetween obnoxious gags and stupidity

The quest is less important here admittedly bc again, with grif doing this in reverse its not the challenge to his principle character that it was for tucker, his connection to huggins was the challenge, and this becomes the final push into the development, the “you have a role, now play it” that gives grif the final shove into Doing Things literal!! And his prize? For this character development arc? An alien sword

And thus the inverse version reaches an end, sort of (im pissed that technically he loses his sword, im also ignoring that he loses it in canon bc he fucking earned it okay this is a bit of canon i will ignore and loophole my way around it)

And now we track back to Chorus and to the second iteration of the sword-quest-companion plot

Locus

Now okay i will admit this is conjecture and pepe-silvia-on-corkboard-with-red-string fuckery at this point but hear me out okay!

He gets the sword with Felix’s death. We know this. What we dont know is how the fucking hell he gets off Chorus! We just see him show up later with A’rynasea. The vaguely alien (maybe sentient?? AI? Its implied with the way he addresses her but we literally have her for like two episodes) ship that seems to be the driving force (literal) (bc shes his ship) behind his chosen redemption arc where he pushes himself to help others at no apparent benefit to himself, but because it is, and i quote “the right thing to do”

Arguably, Santa could be Locus’ quest giver, seeing as how he is the one who triggers the whole shift in view for Locus in the first place and that is, technically, what crunchbite does and what atlas finalizes for grif! But the problem is we simply dont have enough of A’rynasea to draw the parallel between her and Locus as personalities, as companions for it to work for me??? But that might just be me overthinking? But it does make Locus’ version is a bit messier depending on who you consider his quest-giver but as far as I’m concerned, he’s still on his quest snd its just up to interpretation if A’rynasea is his companion?? or if theres a secret third alien for Locus that we never wouldve seen even if they planned for that bc its red vs blue and im just delusional about locus and his role in plot and this is just me firing concepts blindly into the sky at this point like - yeah i could still theorize what kind of companion characterization i think locus would work well with bc its more about the wielder than the companion in this sense (sorry junior and huggins i love yall i promise) but thats a completely separate rant at this point and not nearly coherent enough at this exact moment to add it PLUS its ridiculously self indulgent and only marginally canon compliant/adjacent but i will never not be amused by this very specific plot beat happening enough to draw these parallels, as tenuous and vague as the parallels are

[toxycodone]

𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 !

𝘤𝘸. 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦

𝘤𝘩𝘢����𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘰𝘴, 𝘬𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘶, 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘤𝘬

Laios:

I genuinely think Laios is attracted to the unconventional or stereotypically attractive. Anyone with unique features, personality quirks, etc. If you don't fit in, you're more willing to catch his eye.

He finds it difficult to really like? Gain an interest in someone who doesn't really "stick out". I think it's clear with the way he treats Kabru that like! People kinda are a blur to him! So! anything that makes someone stick out will catch his interest and he'd be more willing to remember them + actually continue to think about them.

MUST. Share his interest in monsters/animals. This is very important. Like there must be a shared interest there whether its just about anatomy, behavior, etc. I just think he needs to be accepted to talk about this and share fun facts. He likes it. Cooking or an interest in food would also be another plus.

Also just? He likes really easygoing people who aren't super judgemental. Laios is really unapologetically himself and he gets chewed out for it by his friends enough. He's very self aware when it comes to his own issues (esp by the end of the manga) so. Yeah. Just someone who he doesn't feel the need to mask around.

Honestly, maybe someone childish would fit his vibe too? I mean this in a more lighthearted sense. Like someone he could play tag with or goof around in the woods with. He missed out on being a kid for a while, and he's still kinda interested in stuff like that (bug collecting, cool rocks, etc.). Even in post manga he still wants this.

Also uhhhh beastkin/monsters/whatever of any kind get bonus points. Do they have to be this way? No. But. It would definitely do some favors to be feral/wild in some way like this.

Kabru:

Okay I am not saying this is healthy or anything, but Kabru is ridiculously attracted to fixer-uppers. The main character/savior/hero complex kicks in and he cannot help it.

This can either be super good for him if the person is like. not terrible and is actually okay with this. but uh. that isn't always the case. Bro is often setting himself up for some sort of situationship most of the time. He cannot catch a break.

But he totally needs to be confronted about this to have a relationship work out. Hope you can be at least a little assertive!

Oh and the people pleasing. It's going so far. Please, I-....

He needs to be stopped.

Ultimately. He's gonna go after the people who show the least interest in him and this SPECIFICALLY comes from his own insecurities as a person.

But in the end he's gonna truly fall for someone who can put their foot down and confront him about these issues. He's so insightful and perceptive when it comes to others and can easily point out and help you with you're own shortcomings. But he is super blind to his own faults. Legit does not. Even realize.

He honestly needs someone to help him grow, because in my eyes I can see him like even post manga being pretty stagnant here so . Yeah. You don't need to be like some badass assertive person either. As long as you can just sit down and have a serious conversation w him about this I think it'd go well.

And he'd fall for you because I think it's the first time he genuinely sees someone who recognizes things that are bad about him + still loves him despite that + wants him to grow as a person and assert his own wishes and needs more. Yeah. I just have a lot of feelings about that.

Chilchuck:

This goes two ways.

Non Toxic Route

He'd easily see himself falling for someone mature and responsible. It would start out as just a professional admiration but it would slowly become more intimate as Chilchuck starts to enjoy their more unique personality traits (and even ones he'd consider annoying) --like being feisty, or maybe they're picky, or they can be silly sometimes. That type of thing.

It's a total slow burn with him.

But he also likes people who are more lowkey. Chilchuck is not a "falls for you immediately/puppy love" kinda guy. He's jaded and has a past and has KIDS so. He needs to be treated gently and not rushed into things. Anyone who lets him come to them and start to be more affectionate without demanding it...yeah. Handle him with care PLEASE.

And speaking of this...he wants to keep up appearances since he does value his professional life and has kids and an ex-wife. So he wants someone that can blend into this life without causing drama or more headaches (his party gives him plenty. pls.)

"Toxic"/Not Gonna Last Route

Chilchuck is easily motivated by the more basic pleasures of life, so I can definitely see him having a bootycall that becomes some weird "what are we" type of vibe.

He's like...in the back of his mind the type to enjoy a "dirty little secret". Something he thinks only him and this person know about. But as time goes on he eventually gets emotionally involved with them and is like "we need to cut this off".

It is an extremely painful breakup on his end for sure and makes him more jaded when its literally! His own fault.

[abrisaber]

Full Moon kinda sucked :/ (Another HB Rant - Spoilers for Full Moon)

I hate to say this but I think Vivziepop has finally lost me. Now I'm not saying I'm no longer an HB fan, JMI was geneticlly enginered to get me addicted to whatever he's in meaning I could'nt stop watching HB even if I tried. However I am starting to doubt Vivziepops talents. I have no idea what happened between the first half of Season 2 and the second half but this kind of seasonal rot has to be studied in a fucking lab.

I want to like the episodes after "The Circus," I really do. I don't even hate Cherubs, but aside from Oops and the Mid-Special, every episode following The Circus has ranged from disapointing to awful compared to S1.

It's not even like I hate the episodes after The Circus either. Seeing Stars was okay for the most part, Exes and Oohs tried to do something, even Unhappy Campers introduced a potentally intresting character (and thats it). But these episodes have so many glaring flaws in my book that it's hard to grasp.

In my opinion, Helluva Boss was at its best during the balk half of season 1/The beginning of Season 2 (Truth Seekers-The Circus) and the decline in writing quality started at around Seeing Stars.

I made a long post that explains what about Truth Seekers I like so if you care even a little bit about my opinions, you can suffer through that rant, but to shorten it here, Truth Seekers is my favorite episode of the series because it balances the comedy and the drama expertly imo. Truth Seekers feels like Helluva Boss had finally stuck the landing at what kind of show it wanted to be. It showcased how Blitzo felt about his past relationships and his current one, it gave Moxxie a chance to be heard outside of his flaws (before the show decided they wanted to retread the same fucking plotpoint a couple more times), and it was pretty funny (comedy is subjective tho so feel free to ignore my feelings on comedy from here on out).

Ozzies is a good episode because, well, Asmodeus, but also it does more for Blitzo's character. It contrasts with Truth Seekers via two of the three halucinations calling him out on his shit, and it starts to build upon how he views his relationship with Stolas.

While I don't really like The Circus, what it did at the end for Stolas and overall how it setup the relationship for him and Blitzo was genuinly good imo. How it started with Blitzo initiating the one sidedness of their relationship and whatnot.

Notice how I'm talking almost exclusively about Blitzo as my reasons for enjoying these episodes more than others. And thats because Helluva Boss is at its best when it treats Blitzo as its main character. Even from the beginning he was the real star. Obviously you have characters like Stolas and Moxxie also getting focous, but even in those episodes, Blitzo still gets development, because Blitzo is the main driving force for the show. He's the Helluva Boss. He's the center, the emotional core. HB should be about HIM and HIS relationships to others.

Some of the worst episodes are the ones where Blitzo isn't really the main focous, I'm not saying that Blitzo automaticlly makes the show good or that he should be the only one get focus, but when you pull back and look at the series, almost every beloved episode have him (or him and Stolas) at its emotional center.

To keep this already long post from being absurdly long, I'll skip ahead to why I really didnt like the newest episode, Full Moon.

SPOILERS AHEAD

First things first, the Cherubs and Dhorks fucking suck ass as antagonists. They're annoying, they're not funny, and just like Crimson and Striker in Oops, they serve zero narritve purpose outside of being glorified cardboard cutouts for the main characters to fight. They are everything wrong with B-plots in media. Their only existence is to create artifical narritve throughlines that makes artifical suspence to keep the audience engaged like babies watching those baby sensory videos. "Oooo look its the Cherubs from the most nothing burger episode of Season 1. Oooo it's the Dhorks that are easily the most forgetable aspect of Truth Seekers. OOOhhh isnt it sooooo fucking hilarous how the Dhorks killed a bunch of children? Ohhh aren't you so invested to see these characters that mean absolutely nothing to the plot that Vivziepop is trying to sell the show with? DONT YOU JUST LOVE THESE KEY JINGLING ASS CHARACTERS YOU FUCKING BABY-"

I got a little carries away there, but my point is that Dhorks and the Cherubs are worthless slop that should be removed from the plot entirely.

Usually I wouldn't even care since 2/3 instances where useless villans show up to be useless, the main plot not involving them is really good (Refering to Oops and Truth Seekers).

But the main-plot in this episode is just as bad, if not WORSE than the B-plot.

Regarding my previous rant again, I was an avid defender of Stolitz up until maybe Western Energy, although in that case with the aftermath of Ozzies being handled mostly offscreen is more me being skeptical about Vivs pacing and writibg style. I didn't have a problem with the actual idea of Stolitz yet, just with the execution.

In actuality, my problem with the writing started in The Full Moon.

Even with me being an avid defender of Stolitz, even with me analyizng and disecting Blitzo's mentality and reasonings and emotional trauma, even with me trying to justify BOTH sides of this toxic relationship with no real abuser,

THIS does NOT come off as Blitzo begging to keep Stolas in his life because he cares about him and wants to be with him. I'm sure theres some of that in there and I still have faith that Viv try to put more of that into the execution going forward. But no matter how many times I watch this ending scene and the scenes before it, no matter how long I sit and think and think and think about this dynamic, this scene does NOT feel that way to me.

To me, this scene looks like a lower class citizen begging on his knees to the person whos essentaily employing them to let him keep his job to be able to feed his family and keep his colluges/close friends in work.

This feels like a man whos society is stacked against him trying to keep the one thing he has afloat.

I don't feel this way towards the entire scene. When Blitzo tries to avoid the whole conversation by trying to keep the transaction going, thats when I see more of the emotional side, but it still doesn't sit right with me how the dynamic is being represented.

Stolas explains it pretty well in the moments after. He says "This transactional thing we have, its not right anymore. It hasn't been. It never was. And now, all I can see is how wrong it is to be teathered to someone in such an unfair way. And not know how they feel."

To me, this finally feels like Stolas coming to his senses and realizing that he and Blitzo's relationship is unbalanced. He sees that Blitzo's reliance on him is unfair, so he works to end it.

My problems start to arise again when Stolas reacts to Blitzo trying to play it off again as Roleplay.

I can understand his side of the coin, how he feels that Blitzo only wanted him for sex and nothing more, or how he believes that Blitzo doesnt really care for his feelings and only stays for the book, and when giving Blitzo the option, he chooses to ignore it.

But I still cannot get over how icky this scene makes me feel. Blitzo has made it clear how he thinks Stolas feels about their relationship. In the Just Look My Way music video it seems that Stolas somewhat realizes that Blitzo is hurting in some capacity. When Blitzo vents his frustraitions, Stolas says "I didn't know you thought so lowly of me" which doesnt make any fucking sense in response to what Blitzo is saying.

Again, its that image of a person mistreated by society begging someone who is privlaged to let him keep his job. I cant stomach this idea that Stolas got his fucking feelings hurt over someone he indirectly played with for his own pleasure and to escape his marrige venting their frustraitions about how THEY feel about it. HE HIMSELF admitted that the relationship was unfair, so when Blitzo says "You treat me poorly and expect me to believe when you suddenly express your feelings for me? Can I get a minute to actually process what you said," its litteraly just parroting what Stolas was saying.

Stolas knows how Blitzo feels. He knows Blitzo is hurting. And yeah past relationship trauma isnt an excuse to be shitty, but it's not like Stolas made it very obvious that he did actually care about Blitzo's emotions.

Up until this point the relationship has been one sided on both sides. Both parties think the other doesnt care or that the other is just using them for something. Both sides caught feelings and didnt want to admit it, and Stolas was the bigger person for trying to initiate that discussion. But with the ending line Stolas says and all the promotional matreal being released for the upcoming seasons, the show feels like its going to make Blitzo out to be the one in the wrong when he isnt. Blitzo did the same fucking things Stolas did, so why does it feel like the next few episodes are just going to be "Blitzo sucks and we hate him." Like are you fucking serious??

Maybe I'm reading the whole thing wrong, who knows at this point.

[lonely-space-ace]

Okay Okay Okay Thoughts:

(If you don't want spoilers look away now)

I actually really like that Ruby's mother is ordinary. Other people have said it better than me, but I love the way rtd writes companions who are at the end of the day completely ordinary, but become extraordinary because they choose to help people. (Clara and Amy are great, but the whole 'girl who waited' and 'impossible girl' thing can get old pretty quick)

THAT BEING SAID making a character be so freaking close to Lucie Miller and then making it not Lucie Miller is just mean HOw Dare- (I say, having never listened to her audio stories. its the Principle of the thing)

Still not over the 13 year old with a machine gun what the hell Kate

Sarah Jane and Four, I cry

mixed feelings about the episode as a whole, not entirely sure the build up payed off

love love LOVE the memory Tardis

Mel with Sixie's coat and Seven's vest I am Sobbing

Donna is going to kill the Doctor when she finds out Rose died (granted the whole world died but still)

RTD wrote a companion exit that wasn't tragic??? In this economy???

You cant hype susan up that much and then not show her you just cant rtd she better be in series fifteen I SWEAR-

Mel Bush is amazing. Send Tweet.

Okay back to Ruby girl I love you and the ending was sweet but everytime she calls Louis or whatever her 'real mum' I want to punch something CARLA SUNDAY IS THE GREATEST WOMAN ON THIS PLANET

honestly despite being the big season finale it felt kinda slow to me, I think its definitely the weakest episode of the whole season, (which, granted, this season has been incredible and every episode has been an 8/10 at least, this just didn't feel as good as the rest of it)

Millie Gibson and Ncuti Gatwa killed it with the acting

FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME WHO THE FUCK IS MRS FLOOD

Hey rtd did you give kate lethbridge stewart a boyfriend??? During pride month??? come here I just want to talk

I feel like there's gonna be a lot of negativity around this episode, and I don't want to add to it, because despite its issues I think it was overall a decent episode, its just that it was just a decent episode coming off an incredible season with a lot of hype it didn't fully live up to. mid-season it would have been fine, in some ways it just didn't stick the landing (but in others it did).

Idk despite my issues with it I did enjoy it overall. Ncuti is amazing and I can't wait for the next series :)