#but whatever at least im writing WORDS.
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hehehe did u know you can draw anything at all <3 so i drew my two favorite characters. together LMAO love wins
#for context in +R anjis win quote against zappa is about exorcising his demons or whatever. those words#anji mito#akaza#yea <3 its going in the character tags. youre gonna have to just block me i think#ANYWAYS IM STILL BURSTING OUT LAUGHING WHEN I SEE THIS. SORRY LMAO ITS BRINGING ME A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF JOY#art#kny#guilty gear#sorry again people that follow those tags. ily#i hope this at least made u laugh LMAO#is it in character. who give a shit dude thats not the point#i can make arguments though. AnywayAfg dfvdfvb#i couldnt even write the description without laughing. anyway
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writing original work sucks ASS lol this is awful…. there is no way to pull inspiration except from within myself, i can’t just go play a game or watch a movie or read a book to see my blorbo because he doesn’t and won’t exist unless i write him and only have the voices in my head to turn to for inspiration fuck this lol
#also it’s isolating af like writing fic is also kinda painful for me (all writing hurts a lot) but at least i know it will be read#eventually#like why am i doing this to myself lmaoooooooo#i have two ideas for like novel length stories and have maybe 15k words down between the two#meanwhile ive written like 70k words of fic so far this year and its only fuckin march#like that’s proof that I can do it!! i can write!!! i just don’t want to but i do want to!!!!!!!!!!!#ok ignore me lol#also it’s not helping that im playing ff7 now and also have fic ideas for that too argh#burdened by inspiration but not the right kind#anyway#whatever lol
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'mori ougai is his own warning' 'mori typical creepiness' 'tw m*ri' what if i started killing people should i start killing people
#and like honestly. look. i dont care that theyre writing it. fuckin WHATEVER sure#but if you goddamn insist on this. can you at least try to rub your fucking braincells together about it#because NOBODY puts thought into it. and it is ALWAYS the same like 3 tiktoks for the reaction videos with the same 4 reactions#and im gonna be honest thats definitely stolen art and 100% not what that artist drew it for im telling you now#like if youre going to fucking do this can you commit to the idea and make it interesting#can you actually like. think about how that'd affect the characters and the relationships they form#if i ever hear the words lights camera action again it will be too soon#aethers rants
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my upstairs neighbor is actually fucking insane and idk how im supposed to keep living like this 🙃
#it sounds like he's moving stuff and renovating constantly every day#like .... this is not normal and NO ONE would be able to be ok with living like this when it's been over a year of this#it's like that chinese torture method#when you're locked in a room and they let a bucket drip constantly non stop every day#the same noise all the time you cant escape will affect your psyche very negatively#like i cant escape because inside my own home i have to listen to some fucking crazy person#move stuff around all the time#and like i know he does illegal work and has a workshop up there but no one cares#like even if i'd contact the landlord office they wont care or do anything#so im just forced to live beneath some pos who makes noise... all day... everyday. it drives me crazy#like maybe some of y'all think im whiny or stupid or exaggarating but THIS IS NOT NORMALLLLLLLLL#you're not supposed to hear your neighbor have a workshop from home everyday all day#those noises drive me insane i cant live like thissssss i hate it#i dont like being a snitch or whatever but i've started to consider reporting him for the illegal work he does#but im not gonna bc they wont do anything#ppl are allowed to do whatever they want 💗#but if they drive you insane and you snap suddenly YOURE the bad guy and will end up in prison#everyone are insane i hate everyone im going crazy i fkn hate him so much#sometimes i consider just doing the deed and k wording him#then at least i will never be homeless bc i can live in prison. and i'll always have food lol#and i can exercise and write and read... learn languages. yeah sounds cool
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theres nothing revolutionary in writing w//incest ppl reblogging that post of the dude explaning why hes not ashamed of saying that he wrote it are wild. Comparing the "censorship" of w//incest to the AIDS crisis is wild. Do not cry and say people shouldnt look at you as a freak because you write 2 brothers fucking. You are a weirdo.
#im a lit student i know about censorships#you wanting to write 2 brothers fucking is the least importsnt censorship for me#sorry not sorry ur a freak that uses important words to defend incest smut#normal people would judge you and theyre right#write whatever you want but do not try to spin it up to omg censorship
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I love and hate getting hit with big project ideas (both of the writing and art variety)
love it bc they seem so fun!! i would like to do them for various reasons! i know finishing would leave me feeling accomplished, id learn some new stuff and practice some skills
hate it cause i have no time to finish and i eventually lose motivation to keep up
#like. id love to start a project kinda like justin veneema(?)'s photography project on insta#but with doing strangers' portraits for free and in a variety of styles#would love to do self portraits and do some hand portraits especially of fingerspelled words/names#would love to do stippling and combine stippling and digital art!#id love to write more of eternal. remaster my old nnt soulmate/soul bond series#write more of notw! get further in the story or write some other starting points#and i want big game projects! wanna collect every item in sdv. fill the botw compendium. restart smash bros and collect all the characters#but timeeeeeeeeeee#i have so much school work. im actually pretty behind in *all* my classes. i still have a couple months left. i need to get my gpa up#i work part time over weekends. in the mornings. im exhausted by noon & my legs are tired and its hot and deli employees can be so annoying#i have an internship. weekly 1 on 1s on zoom that i gotta rush to cause theyre right after my class. only JUST NOW getting#placed at sites and my contract expires in december. takes up middle of two days at least each week#by the time i do get a chance to do whatever i want im tired or have a headache or my brain is fried so i do nothing#this became more venty than i expected but gist is im scrambing#and my early new years resolution (aka starting in mid december) is to manage my time better. and plan time explicitly for myself#amber's shit you can ignore
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had 3 cups of coffee feeling bold....intermezzo was not that good:(
#sam.txt#more of what i hated in beautiful world where are you which is still my least favorite rooney#i paid an ungodly amount for this book though so im going to pretend i like it so much <3#can we return to the days of normal people instead of whatever the hell is going on with her writing these days#the writing felt really sloppy in this one too. like in the same sentence youd have the word kind and kindly like hello sdhjsdhf
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decided to do nano this year! despite the fact that i will be! perhaps! the most busy! in november!! but i am DETERMINED to try and finish the owl house daemon au this year goddamnit i wanna be DONE!!! i want to be free!!!! its been eight million years!!
#chatter#btw finishing it this year is a long shot lol#like i thiiiiink nano will be enough to finish off for the future#(based on what i have + length of thanks to them +50k words sounds about right)#but that means i have december to write watching and dreaming and whatever the epilogue will be which seems#well not likely to say the least. unless i take like two weeks and write like 6k+ every single day which is#possible?? like ive done it before but its not fun lol#at the very least im on track to finish it early next year so. i can hold onto that <3#ONE DAY I WILL BE FREE AND I WILL POST IT#AND YES IT WILL GET MAYBE LIKE TEN LOYAL READERS#BUT I WILL LOVE THOSE READERS WITH ALL MY HEART#screaming. sobbing. okay time to get back to plotting
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Nice try at a roast, kid. People actually like my writing though. I got three r/nosleep stories on the front page. What is you got? A book nobody wants to read? Kek you wokies are delusional. By the frickin way... my pronouns are fuck/you so don't misgender me!
oh my god guys, i've never gotten an ask that reeked so strongly of reddit
i could smell this guy coming from 2000 miles away.
a good thing too, because i sure am terrified of reddit toughguys. gotta pack my bags and get my things, or else he might give me a lecture on how minorities such as Women in video games signal the end of civilization as we know it.
he might Just Tell Me How It Is, or say Facts Don't Care About My Feelings, or even call me a Kid again. How will I ever recover?
#im also laughing at the idea that having a trending post on reddit is like#an achievement?#what a weird thing to be proud of#i go viral on tumblr all the time and all i know is shame lol#at least my books are something i made that is original and different#write a book anon#do something that matters instead of karma farming and sending anon hate#if you think youre a good writer then write something beautiful#instead of whatever the fuck this is#wasting your time sending me asks that ill just find amusing#ive been around#sporto#i strongly suspect im much older than you bc you come across like a 13 year old who just found his parents' iphones#the constant use of the word kid#as if youre not a greasy little insecure high schooler whos just hopped up on a tiktok algorithm of andrew tate imitators#this ask doesnt just reek of reddit it reeks of loneliness and tragedy#but theres hope for you#theres a chance you could turn around by your twenties and be rightfully ashamed of how you used to be#and thats why i forgive how embarrassing youre being right here and now#we all do embarrassing things as teens#one day youll cringe#or#or you wont and youll go down the reddit hole trap and end up a bitter 40 year old straight white man with no girlfriend wife kids or frien#friends#and youll wonder why the world hates you#and the answer will be that you hate you#and all of your mistakes stem back#to spending all of your time online instead of making connections with yourself and others#btw you should kno#you actually do smell
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He is in fact not cool with his friends killing people he just can’t do shit about it and the fact that he thinks he can do smth about (and does!) when it comes to his kids is like a major point
#like one of the main#Idk if theme is the right word#but issues surrounding Batman in general and Gotham specifically#is the high standards he holds not just those closest to him to but also the people he controls#NOW DONT GET CAUGHT UP IN UR GUT REACTION CONTROL IS A STRONG WORD BUT IM USING IT FOR A REASON#like i think the fandomification of the batfamily and seeing every character as reliable in the way they tell their own stories#is making people forget that yes bruce lowkey controls them#like not in a mean way or whatever but as much as dick and Jason rebel and say ‘fuck you old man I have my own people to take care of’#at a snap of Bruce’s fingers where are they?#right back in Gotham#which ppl say is an issue with writing and I agree like they really just can’t take anyone away from Gotham#but THATS meta like the in universe conclusion is what creates in universe analysis#and these issues are being spoken about from an in universe pov#that was just me justifying my point anywayyyd#what im saying is that like#in conclusion Ppl are forgetting that Bruce is scary and still runs this shit lmao#like a few snappy quips about emotional distance and some ‘X deserves better’ fics is making yall forget shit like spyral#or at least how it went down and ended up today and what that says about the characters involved#it’s tragic and Ik we like to ignore that but like. when look at shit like the no killing rule#yes bruce thinks he’s being slighted or failing whenever his kids kill someone and they to an extent think that too which is why they don’t#do it#or at least partly#even for Jason that’s why the killing is not just what needs to be done it’s a form of rebellion for him#everyone who agrees jason should just leave Gotham but still present as pure rebellion and anger and spitting at Bruce don’t get why Jason#should leave is all I’m saying#that’s why Dick never got away#it’s still all about Bruce#even if we don’t want it to be#reading this back it’s disjointed as hell but I’m not fixing it if u get it ily heh just a peek into my dark mind#if u don’t it’s not ur fault not everyone can withstand the alphas prowess…
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im sorry and it was a post from a mutual no hate but every post i see comparing taylor swift to mitski makes me want to pull my hair out. the reason their music is so different is because they ARENT IN THE SAME GENRE!!!!!!!! TAYLOR SWIFT IS A COUNTRY SONGWRITER WHO MAKES MULTIGENRE POP MUSIC!!!!!! at LEAST compare her to someone closer to her genre like a kelsea ballerini or a kacey musgraves like its just bad song analysis
#barry.txt#taylor swift#sorry but theres constantly like five posts floating around comparing taylor swift to random indie darling tumblr likes#whose making like. conservatory educated conceptual singer songwriter types and i get the instinct but mitski just#has completely different influences training and goals#taylor swift is a country writer. she writes country songs and turns them into pop songs. sometimes she writes normal pop songs sometimes#she write folk pop. I get its annoying to see people call her the best writer of our time or whatever but at least critique her well#taylor isnt mitski or janelle monae because she WRITES COUNTRY MUSICCCCC#and like. radio pop singles#thats why her songs have so many fucking words in them#sorry im. in a bad mood and i fucking HATE posts that cant just talk about how a female artist matters to them and have to randomly insult#taylor swift as if her and mitski have beef or something bitch mitski doesnt care#sorry im being a bitch about this but im so MAD and in a WEIRD MOOD and OFTEN REPRESS MY EMOTIONS WHIVH LEADS TO ME#BEING BITCHY AND OVER THE TOP WHEN ARTICULATING THEM#whatever i doubt anyone who makes these posts are going to see this but if i didnt post this id explode#how are you making me feel defensive over a highly awarded a list pop star i hate it. i hate this
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Coming up with ideas for writing 💜💜💜
Actually writing ;-;
#rant#ToT#upside is i have solved some lore loopholes which. if u know me u know how rare i actually didnt alreayd have way too much worldbuilding#decided on. but finally nailed down a bit of worldbuilding i was foggy on.#also i am SO hype for magic to come into the story#downside: i have 40k words to write before i get to be writing that part ;-;#also? idk if yall are like this. but like whatever i Actually write always comes out significantly different than The Plan#like. fact: i have every single major scene in my summary to write.#reality: at least 70% of those scenes will likely be different than the summary once i actually write them out.#leading to possible new avenues ill utilize vause they work better/more theme cohesive/more in character#so like. i love my summary abd im clinging to it for dear life#but also terrified in the knowledge reality will be way more complex#like. i wrote this week what SHOULDVE been a simple scene#but upon actually making it. the characters chemistry was so AMPED up i feel i pretty much need Some relationship development in the scene#even tho i didnt plan that in my summary. but even if irs just AWARENESS OF LUST these bitches are dripping chemistry#also the scene turned out way fucking funnier than i planned. so like. to not fully utilize the comedic execution would be#throwing a gift away.#so im now stuck tryjng to Add Onto the intended summarized scene. since i didnt plan#to write 1 an almost kiss/desire to kiss 2 embarassment the likes of which only this dork couldve created for himself
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Attempting to organise the our flag characters into levels for that complete cast challenge thing bc surely attempting this challenge on hard mode with a huge cast will help my writer's block/s
and checking imdb for all of it and just....there's a guy on here for a character named Dax, and it went uncredited and i'm just sat here like. Whomst in the fuck was Dax and where was he. How in the fuck am I gonna write for this guy and the huge list of other extras when I can't even place the fucking scene some of them were in. Like, some like Abshir I remember of course but others im just. fuckin' patrick looking under his rock like 'whomst the fuck are y'all????' I know I probably saw y'all but had no idea this is who you were meant to be playing and-
I make good decisions lmao
#text post#my brain is shredding itself like cheese bc i've been dealing with Emotions post aotd watch bc fuck if that movie didn't like#fuckin' at me with my emotional and mental and family issues and shit in both a bad and good way lmao#and it's very upset that i can't seem to write bc writing is usually how we work thru things but! lately! I get words down barely#then get stuck and then i close the doc and resist the urge to cry bc i know im probably never gonna finish half of these new drafts#and even if i finish them will i be brave enough to publish them here or ao3? probably not#at least not right now and god. i just wanna share fucking words and emotions and my brain wants that but works against me all the same#whatever it's fine i should switch to organising the metalocalypse characters or sr or something instead#watch me make this doc and then not get any of this challenge done and hate myself for it lmaoooo#but at least i'll have it all ready to go re: levels and guidelines and stuff. there's that
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my WRITING THING just CRASHED and i lost ALL OF MY PROGRESS im Never Writing Again
#rambles#300 words.#its not that much but god#its Stupid and Dumb because now my Motivation has been completely Drained and now i cant even Write so now i have ZERO WORDS!!!!#i will not cry over such small issues. or will i...🧐#it took me like an hour too at the very least#whatever whatever watever im throwing my phone in the ocean and going back to Rock
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I'm gonna bash somebody's head into a wall
#realized there was a bit of ✨️miscommunication✨️ in details about EBT card stuff and when i paid attention to the literal wording realized#that im not eligible. let my grandpa know (via writing down the texts w exact & underlined wording) and then texted ny grandma abt the#situation. AND THEN SHE SAYS SHES GONNA TELL HIM 'theyre looking into it' AND WJEN I WAS LIKE NO?? THATS LYING AND I DONT WANT#HIM GETTING PISSED AT ME FOR SOMETHING I NEITHER SAID NOR AM GONNA ENCOURAGE TO DO SHE TELLS ME#'i told him. hes a liar. ill play his game.' so i told her fine whatever dont talk to me about this again she says 'ill talk w you later'#AND IM LIKE? WHATS THERE TO TALK ABOUT??? YOU BLATANTLY IGNORED MY WISHES AND I JUST SAID IM NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT#anyway#now feeling unbridled rage and annoyance abd want nothing more than to bash something#but i shant. ill just shut down any conversations she tries to bring up about it#and if my grandpa approaches me i will literally just say 'i gave you the info. nothing i can do. grandma said theyre looking into it i#never said they were. i told her not to say that 🤷♀️'#i dont mind throwing her under the bus if shes just gonna steamroll me like that#and thank fuck i gave him the stupid paper first cause at least he has that as a first impression instead of whatever the fuck she said#amber's shit you can ignore
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Ugh. The urge to ask ppl for art requests vs the pile of ideas that I plan to draw at some point. There r so many things to draw 😭
#and so little time. ive gotta work on writing stuff in this next week#but i should have at least some time to draw. assuming i manage my time right#draw and make like at least 3 liters of media so i can sit there and transfer a million tubes#i wanna draw something big and in full color but idk what :-[#whatever. ill figure it out. in other words ive got approval to stay on lamicta1 and i think the itching is going down#yayyyy! at like 3am suddenly it was like ok. i can lay on my back now and i don't wanna tear my skin off lol#and now im like ok. i can wear a shirt and its ok#unrelated#reguardless. my inbox is always open to requests#srry. ive not been sleeping bc of im itchy. so i cant shut up
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