#but what was most important to me here wasnt the technicality of it

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

nothing sets me crying more than reading the teasers for the wicked powers/the black volume of the dead, so why not overanalyze them and wish for death in the process (i got all of them from the page on fandom)

❗️spoilers ahead ❗️

he kissed each finger, and with each one of them spoken a word. five kisses, five words. his last.

no 🫶🫶 (im hoping this is a flashback gurl plz i hope its not the ‘lightwood death in each series’ thing coming after my life)

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"oh, god, the lovebirds," magnus said, pulling the pillow off his face. "i hate happy couples."

this could be anything tbh but prolly gonna be in tbvotd

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belatedly, she realized something else. "do you... have anything?"

he didnt seem to have recovered from her last comment. "but do you mean - wait, do i have what?"

she slitted her eyes at him. "something important."

"like what? the phone number for the white house?" a moment later, under her withering glare, realization dawned. "oh." his was the expression of someone who has run out of gas in the middle of the desert, miles from help. "i..."

there are literally zero names in this one but i think its gonna be smth w dru and jaime (maybe the eternidad ??) but i swear if it turns out to be a joke imma flip a table

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"what if i just love you? what if i love you but i never touch you or talk about it, what would happen then?"

i think this might happen after a conversation between kit and ty where either kit says “its too dangerous to love me” or “i dont love you” and then ty replies w this

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"well, its a bit ironic, isnt it?"

"what do you mean?"

"all that effort to convince you i wasnt in love with you, and here i am, dying in your arms."

this is gonna kill me i just know it, but i have a feeling its gonna be kit saying the first and third lines and hes talking to ty, and then i can imagine it saying “dont say that,” ty said furiously

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his face crumpled. "he hates me," he said. "all i do is love him, but he hates me, he just hates me, i dont know why."

clearly gonna be ty talking about kit (to either livvy or dru ???)

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there was nothing less sexy than an angry-looking cat on your bed.

okay this is 100% magnus’s pov in tbvotd 💀💀

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"actually, its short for maximum lightwood," said magnus. "as in the most amount of lightwood you can have."

… no comment. actually, yea i do have smth to say. i love magnus.

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"no one who loved you would want you to sacrifice your own happiness."

if we’re going by the thing where kit doesnt want ty to love him for his safety, then someone is gonna say this to kit for sure

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alec was beginning to understand how the slings and arrows of fortune and history had shaped magnus and made him what he was. it was a delightful sort of discovery, as getting to know magnus always had been. magnus was probably the one person in the world who'd never bored him.

im craving more malec scenes please dear god

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"i was thinking about monogrammed towels," said isabelle.

"my name is going to be simon lewis lovelace lightwood," said simon. "no monogrammed towels."

first off, i forgot that simon wants to take isabelles last name

second, his initials are technically S.L.L.L oh my lord

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it was late, and someone was trying to break into the high warlock of brooklyn’s apartment.

​magnus bane, the high warlock in question, felt this behavior was rash and foolish. he’d been passed out on his still-made bed, too exhausted to slip under the burgundy and emerald sheets, or even take off his robe, when he heard the noise of his window sliding open. he was grateful for the robe. he felt it would be demoralizing to face housebreakers in nothing but silk pajama bottoms.

​also, the housebreakers had done nothing to deserve such a sight.

seeing magnus bane in nothing but silk pajama bottoms is the stuff of dreams

jokes (even tho i meant it with full seriousness) aside, this is definitely gonna be the opening lines of tbvotd. if it turns out to not be, i will never show my face in public again because of how sure i am right now

[roseworth]

3, 6 and 16?

asks

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

ive seen someone say that alex dewitt's death wasnt actually misogynistic because it was like uncle ben's death where kyle had a lesson to learn from it and she was just a side character that died in a backstory. which I GUESS is partially true but i have a whole rant on why its not exactly a fair comparison here. but long story short it is insane to me that alex's death got a whole new word named after her and some people to this day try to claim it wasnt about misogyny and it makes me lose my mind. not to mention ive seen people say that her death wasnt a fridging because kyle still talks about her and is traumatized by it as if thats not literally the definition of fridging

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

batjokes for SURE. i understand wanting toxic yaoi but theyre sooooo annoying about it it drives me insane (much like the joker). i think joker is usually such a boring character anyway and then to see some people like. uwuifying him. its crazy to me. its the least interesting bruce ship if you want toxic yaoi there are so many others to choose from why are you using the joker and pretending he has a personality. ALSO!!!!! i always see batjokes shippers saying that its canon that joker has a crush on batman. and i know thats technically true but i feel like its important to mention too that most of the reason that its canon is because the writers are making fun of gay people and/or framing it like its a bad thing. its not a #diversitywin its homophobia

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

i just said it but. the joker. just in general. who the fuck caaaaaares hes not an interesting villain or an interesting character at all he doesnt do anything interesting or good at all. whats the point of a villain with no motivation besides being evil. there are so many other villains to choose from that actually have a purpose so why are there so many people who give a shit about the joker. like it would be one thing if it was just the annoying Comic Guys that did it but even people on here will talk about him as if hes this super interesting villain. or worse they'll talk about him like hes a misunderstood uwu sweetie pie. im killing all of us. to me the only narrative purpose joker serves is being harley's ex and i dont think we should have to talk about him at all outside of that

[thefourchimes]

Can you tell me more about the Four Chimes AU?

What paths did you originally have planned for Robin? I wanna see how close my own ideas are lol :D :D :D

And tell us more about the Chimes themselves please? Like what are they like? What kind of abilities do they have? I may need some ideas for a fight scene... hehe

so. four chimes au my beloved. the reason why my url name is the way it is, even when im an encanto centered blog AHSFUIAHSF but yeah, here we go then! also, finn mentioned you can send him asks too, he would love to answer you about this as well yeye

anywho, lore dump time! made with a tag team between me and finn

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Can you tell me more about the Four Chimes AU?

the four chimes verse is essentially an amalgamation of my want—need—for badass max, max angst, elumax angst, just general party and co angst, apocalypse four shenanigans, several unexplored character interactions and dynamics, the four horsemen of the apocalypse concept, and everything else that comes with this plus things i wasnt able to mention its very self indulgent ngl

but yes, it's about the apocalypse four (max, patrick, fred, and chrissy) and how they get turned into the upside down four horsemen of the apocalypse aka the four chimes of catastrophe by vecna, and they become his way of furthering chaos and destruction in hawkins, while also using them to get rid of his thorns aka the party and co

nobody's having a fun time lol

i've already got a lot of it planned out, i just need to write it lmao asufhaishdf

its funny because this all started when finn sent an ask to his friend about how the four victims of vecna are paralleled to the four horsemen of the apocalypse

on top of me already thinking about this, i saw the ask and pretty much ran with it

also, here's a bonus just for you! the following are the arc names of the og four chimes au (and technically still the general arc names regardless of the sub aus, tho ofc with some differences here and there):

pre-shattering

during catastrophe - the four chimes

during catastrophe - contact to familiarity

during catastrophe - jailbreak

during catastrophe - void dark

during catastrophe - escape the dark

during catastrophe - resonance

during catastrophe - the end

post-apocalypse

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What paths did you originally have planned for Robin? I wanna see how close my own ideas are lol :D :D :D

so robin is very feral yes AHSIFUHASf

im pretty sure i explained it a bit before but robin got hit by an arrow that was meant for nancy in the ciquest au, and because of nancy, she's able to find the will to fight back against the infection instead of succumbing to it, making it her own

One and the chimes sees how she's evolving and don't like it, so lence's suggestion of getting nancy takes priority, and so it happens

nance becomes quest and now the battle is on

robin is obviously devastated and the gang is slightly in shambles because of how much nancy brings to the table, and now she's gone—no, worse, she's being used for the other side

so robin steps up to the plate in multiple ways, trying her best to fill the void nancy was forced to leave behind

the burden on her is so heavy considering she got a power she technically never expected to have nor wanted, but now it's on her to make the most use of it

she usually questions why it was her who was in this situation and literally not anybody else who she thinks could definitely do better

lots of questions and wondering for her

now, unlike with renegade, she doesn't lose herself technically, but she gets close, like a lot

though should i mention that there was a little kidnapping that happened? the person who was kidnapped in question being someone who is very important to robin and may have caused a some strain and conflict for her and the chimes?

yeah, the chimes kidnapped steve to lure robin to them so that they can take her down

it was conquest's idea :)

robin was very much not happy about that btw

lots of things happen and as said, robin was very much close to losing it so many times but she doesn't for a couple of reasons

renegade is a completely new take and direction of ciquest and just four chimes in general, and im so interested in seeing where it goes, so very interested <333

i feel like im not able to tell robin's full story here, both because we want to keep some things hidden and also because my brain is kinda not working rn AHSFUHASF mb on that one

but yeah, that's generally it, tho if you got more questions, feel free to send an ask to either me or finn, and if we remember something in particular, we'll make sure to mention it

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And tell us more about the Chimes themselves please? Like what are they like? What kind of abilities do they have? I may need some ideas for a fight scene… hehe

here's the longest part because...lore dump yes

the chimes our beloveds <33

so the chimes. in our 68600 messages (as of the moment) of a four chimes dump, we've built up the characters and personalities of the chimes, and somewhere in this thread is the scattered information on them

now, i unfortunately dont have the time and patience to go through the thread to find all of the little information, but we'll do our best to give a good rundown of their characters

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here you go with the characters and personalities first:

famine

wields throwing knives

very loyal to One (meaning he gaslit her so much for that loyalty to come to be, a consequence of being his first chime)

wants to be the leader because she thinks (and is gaslit to think) that she deserves it (One really likes to cause discord between his chimes)

having no prior connection to the main gang—or thorns as they call the gang—besides eddie who is dead and a spectre here, so she's the one who has the least moments of "remembering their past life" before

is very brutal and ruthless and likely the one the gang got the most injuries from in a general sense

death

wields a large scythe

my secret blorb

most likely to actually defy One, and fun fact, he has an au called the runaway au where he, a chime in the middle of the battle between the upside down and right side up, got to run and escape from One before certain things happened, which then causes a chain reaction in this au ofc

he's a coward, and this plays a lot into his actions and interactions

technically had a connection with nancy in the gang, but with conquest here, it gets harder for him to connect, but robin actually steps up to the plate here

war

wields a sword

is the most balanced out of everyone when looking at his loyalty and his defiance to One, in the middle of the pack in that sense

his past life of abuse shows up a lot when it comes to One, so he tends to throw others under the bus to not get caught in the crossfire (not that he wants to do this, but he also doesnt want to gain One's ire)

just generally very chill, the most chill out of every one here

is the medic of the team because of how he's the personification of war

has a connection with lucas in the gang, so that's something that gets him to "remember" some stuff in a way

pestilence

wields bow and arrows

finn and mine's blorb

leader in og, former leader in ciquest/conquest

if you can only see the rambles we have on her…it will take days to get through

will take the bullet for the other chimes when it comes to One's ire

vec has a tighter hold on her because she's max

literally connected with everyone, will have a lot of moments where she feels familiarity (and will subsequently get punished for it later)

second most gaslit by One in a way, which is big oof

conquest

wields a sawed-off shotgun

the leader in ciquest/conquest aus

very protective of all the chimes and especially lence

vec also has tighter hold on her because she's nancy

last one to fall, was suggested by lence to be taken

more aware of things than the other chimes, but still completely controlled by One

same case as lence, but even more so considering she's been there since the start of it all (does her best to take most of lence's punishments as her own when One goes after them)

gets very hyperfocused with robin (vaguely aware the thorn makes her weak in some sense but quest doesn't care), but is frustrated she cant hurt her too much because lence will get hurt too (and maybe another reason deep down, but she doesnt acknowledge it)

all of them

they're all dog coded

One can summon them/call them whenever and its shown through the shivering cold in their necks, like what happens with will

One wants them to be just the way he wants them, meaning the way they died and got transformed into chimes must be how they are no matter what (this includes clothes, hair, weapons, and everything in general)

the only new addition he accepts them to have are new scars :')

the chimes have such a complicated relationship, but at the end of the day, post-vec, they love each other

note for them individually: there's a lot more that i want to add but my brain is blanking a little and i am probably forgetting some things, but here are some of the important things to note (remember this is incomplete to everything we wanna add ASFHUIASFh)

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some relationship notes (by pairs, groups are another story)

min clashes with death when it comes to lence, but otherwise are fine with each other, neutral in general but are connected as the first two chimes of One

min and war are not quite friends, more distant than friends but closer than allies… (very interesting when you note how they were in their Before)

has a very one-sided antagonistic rivalry with lence, especially when it comes to the leadership position (this changes a bit when quest is in play as she's the leader, but there's still the rivalry with lence despite not being leader in ciquest/conquest), will be very callous in a way with her, but they actually work well together, especially as the similar twin concepts of famine and pestilence

quest is able to take min's bitterness mostly in a stride and keeps her in check from being too antagonistic when it comes to leadership roles and just generally (helps because quest understands them in a way, though she doesnt understand why she does)

death and war are more or less chill with each other, most cordial relationship out of every single chime relationship and the least tension filled, just vibing so real (though war knows death is a coward and death knows that war knows it)

death and lence are surprisingly close, only second to quest for lence (and death too technically, which is inspired by their Before), this relationship is due to the fact that in canon, max got to see and technically interact with chrissy, patrick, and nancy, but never with fred, so we saw it and ran with it and now they're close here

death and quest are more or less okay with each other, and their Before helped them understand each other better, unlike the other chimes' Before affecting their relationships in another way

war and lence are complicated, since war throws lence under the bus the most (especially in og) to avoid One's ire, and lence understands why, because of her own Before (and it doesnt help that she takes bullets for the other chimes), but they're both fine more or less

war and quest are similar to min and lence with the similar concepts, war and conquest, fire and lava, war follows quest to the T (just like he does with lence in og but more so here with quest), and they work well together because of their similar concepts

lence and quest are the closest out of everyone, helped by their Before and their instincts with each other, confides with each other a lot and are just helping each other no matter what, tho ofc this comes with the consequence of One seeing this "weakness" of theirs and using this bond between them to punish them when he sees fit

although here's a note about this too: finn said "honestly tho their relationships r So complicated its hard to capture in a few sentences", and i agree, what you just read is just some general thoughts on their relationships, but god is there so much more to them all, and if we want to really show you the relationships in full, we would have to ramble it all out ASHUFIUASHF but yeah

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here you go with their abilities:

famine

knife throwing, very fast and precise

the fastest of the chimes

can cripple the energy and power of a person

takes down the food supply and wilts crops

can take the energy and vitality of a being and/or object

death

scythe proficiency

is the slowest of the chimes

everything related to death

teleportation through the shadows

summon bone beings

forming shadow tendrils kinda

exudes the ambiance of the end of life, striking a deep sense of fear

war

fireeeee

flame sword, very proficient with swords

second fastest of the chimes

use the molotovs and flamethrowers against the gang because fire for real

hot skin, literally

can cause a sense of crisis and rage in those near

lence

causes sickness (through arrows) and disorientation of people (through aura exuded)

poison arrows

has a balisong (one she had as max—this is an hc we have) and uses it as an extra weapon

second slowest of the chimes

infect people to insanity or to do her bidding

also wilts flowers and plants in general

aura vision (she's blind because of her interrupted transformation due to el but she can see the sort of "auras" of beings, especially the upside down ones)

quest

gun proficient (obviously)

very precise shots

her gun can either fire in a scattered way like a shotgun or only one bullet at a time, it depends on quest herself

lava (we were thinking mix of fire and earth for conquest, hence lava)

also hot skin, literally

in the middle of the fast and slow spectrum

can summon different types of guns, smaller guns takes less energy for her actually, but One doesn't like that so she doesn't do it much, if at all

all

sort of intangibility (only works when they're full on chime mindset, if their anchor selves start waking up and breaching the surface, they become vulnerable and the intangibility doesnt work)

connected to One's power

summoning their weapons

connected to their hounds (their horses)

faster healing

technically immortality (as long as One is around)

and bonus!

robin

connected to lence, draws power from her

trying to infect her even more causes robin to grow stronger and lence to grow weaker (this is important to note heheheh)

means she's a bit more feral though (she gets close to losing herself but doesnt fully)

becomes more durable and stronger and the best at dealing with the chimes in the long run

also faster healing

another note: i am very sure i forgot some things so yeah, assume this list is incomplete AHSFIUHASF but thats what we can remember off the top of our heads

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anywho, yeah! that's pretty much a lore dump and a half, except i also know its not complete and there's still so much more we want to say but are unable to mention it for several reasons

but maybe those are asks for another day (wink wink, go check out @lumaxramblings' askbox too yesyes)

thank you for the ask! and i hope this helped with the renegade au yesyes <33

see ya around

[uraniumglassgirl]

No bc jjk is so misogynist it makes me mad. And like. I shouldve stopped reading i think a while ago. Convinced myself that like. The treatment of women would get better and the fights would inch closer towards the more character focused philosophical stuff but its like all technical punchies between a rotating cast of 30 dudes+maki. Which just isnt what i was here for.

Sometimes i think about how hype nobara vs mahito got me. Especially the scene where she calls him a little bitch and is super antagonistic and mean towards him. Then I remember like 2 chapters later shes killed in the most short sighted embarassing way possible for the manpain development of the protag. One of the main trio. Murdered at like the beginning of the second act for shock when her arc wasnt nearly complete.

Yukis treatment is also embarrassing. And the way kenjaku is ultimately beaten in a much less cathartic battle by a character thats supposed to be yukis equal.

Nobara. Shelved. Yuki. Dead. Momo. Useless. Miwa. Made a binding vow to never swing a sword again. Mei mei. Pedophile. Mai. Dead. Shoko. Relegated to support. Utahime. Also support. Nitta. Killed for shock. Junpeis mom. Killed for shock. Yorozu/tsukimi. Killed for shock. I think the only female characters that are alive and important at this point are maki and hana/angel

[bismuthburnsblue]

ok so!!! i revisited my work from yesterday, going in and properly blocking out the style lines and strap (still up for change as i get into better fabrics but this is a lot more representative of what they would actually look like now!) (though i am noticing ive set my hemline lower- even extending it on nora, when anne's is quite high, so ill have to see how comfortable i feel with that)

i also took a bit out of the hips on the ally pattern which definitely helped with the shape (i was really just being lazy not doing this, ive used this pattern before and had to do that, i knew it was gonna be an issue)

Theres more notes on my personal thoughts on both patterns below the cut :)

same cw's as before for body image stuff :) (maybe this is silly but i just feel far more comfortable putting warnings + a readmore for corsetry)

(also! i will be doing a post properly introducing this project soon :) ive got a lot i want to say!!)

First up! both of these patterns are by Aranea Black, pdfs of these patterns are still available online but her website is gone now)

Ally is a 6 panel corset with extreme hip spring- heres what the pattern looks like:

i do think the hip spring gives a really dramatic shape, but i do worry that with my upholstery weight faux leather, it just wont sit nicely. on this mock up i had to slit my entire seam allowance at the waist to make it not tuck too badly, and that means cutting my boning channel in half (i think, still deciding details like that) i cant really afford to waste fabric recutting panels if i sew it and it does tuck, either.

(Technically i do have the option available to me to do a twin stitch like Anne's original corset actually has, but this wouldnt be traditional, and wasnt in my plan (even if i wasnt gonna have the bones in the leather layer, i like the /look/ of felled channels on the outside.) a twin stitch however would probably negate most the tucking on the waist point, as it opens it up rather than folding to one side.)

Secondly, the one gripe i have about this pattern is that big line of wrinkles below the waist- now some of this will be from the fabric and it not being worn in, but the "daily wear" version of this corset ive made before still has some of these wrinkles even now, especially over the first hip spring panel. i know theres ways to adjust the fitting to counter the ones over the hip, but those i think are largely from the way the fabrics pulling around the curve- its covers such a large area its bound to pull a little weird in places. I really want a smooth look, a clean finish is the most important thing to me, and i worry no matter what i do they will still be there.

I will say, Ally has a lacing gap designed into the pattern, which is something i want, as Anne's corset has one, and it automatically gives you more leeway in the fit that patterns without it just dont have.

Nora on the other hand is 8 panels, with the hip spring spread across a much further space. On paper it looks much less dramatic, but theoretically should still hold a significant amount of shape, just distributed over more panels.

I guess that would be my first area of concern, that the shape just isnt quite as dramatic as the shape on Ally. i really want something quite striking for this project and though pattern modifications can be made, i was hoping to not have to do too much past simples changes.

The 8 panels also means this pattern will likely eat up more fabric. if nothing else, theres 4 extra sides of seam allowance that the other does not have (though, these pieces will nest together better, so it could end up being negligible) it is a concern however, as im working on a very tight yardage.

One of the immediate positives of this pattern however is the lack of that wrinkle band like Ally has. Since this is worn as an outer layer thats a huge point in its favour, a nice clean finish is basically the top of my requirements list.

Nora also has no lacing gap, which is an issue for the reasons mentioned above (annes costume has a lacing gap, but also lacing gaps give more leeway in the fit, allowing you to be a little tighter on some days than others.) Its possible to draft in a lacing gap relatively easily, but it is something i have to consider.

Its completely arbitrary, but i also feel like the way the strap joined onto this pattern was nicer- it lined up better with the pre existing panels and i think it'd join on as a continuous piece better. again, its extremely minor, i just think its cleaner with less fiddling on my end.

I think im still thinking the same way i was yesterday, that Nora is probably the pattern thats working better for me for this, but its still very up in the air for me. i feel like theres more pattern modifications to do there, but that its probably going to be worth doing the work? but i am definitely interested in what anyone else might think!

[saltlickmp3]

something that really bugs me about art history is when it says 'ok and THIS GUY was the VERY FIRST to do this thing isn't that cool! so original of him!' and the thing is like, painting people naturally, or non-representational colours. like.... are you really sure No One At All tried this before? you really think that between the decline of rome and ~1290 no one ever tried to draw a realistic portrait of someone? Ever??

'they didn't know how because their art was PRIMITIVE' like ohhh okay we're using that word are we. a) medieval art isn't lesser for not being as technically good and b) that wasn't as important to them and c) ...life drawing exists. if people could do really detailed and accurate paintings & miniatures of plants and insects then surely they could do people too that can't be that much of a step. like surely there wasnt a seven hundred year period where no one tried. in the whole world. right?? surely someone got their friend to sit still in front of them as they tried to capture their likeness???

especially when realistic sculpture portraits were being made this whole time? and when more naturalistic roman portraits were still there?? you really think it took people six hundred years to try that out?

and the same with nearing abstraction as well 'g*uguin was the first person to put the realm of the imagination in art' IN THE 1880S. WHAT. IMAGINATION. in ART. have you never seen a kid draw?? or like.. anyone draw anything from their mind??? what about all those people painting dragons and angels and miracles and here be monsters? 'non representational colours were new and shocking!' ok that gets a bit of a pass for most of it but like... you really think people spent all of impressionism painting things The Exact Colour They Were? like surely someone thought of that before?? surely there was someone somewhere who did a bit of art for fun who painted, i dunno, a purple tree for fun?

and abstraction as well - you think no one before that ever was just messing around on a page and put some really nice colours together and decided that looked nice as it was??

idk i just get annoyed when people look at art in such a defined and solid way that seems to almost being enforcing limits on creativity by saying that only a few people were even doing new and interesting things. like probably a lot of this stuff did happen and we don't have it anymore but. yeah

[mobydingus]

Hii um, really sorry about bugging you but I was scrolling through tags and I saw that you drew lovely Nathan and Leslie work a while back; I'm wirting a huge personal AU and one of the subplots is her breaking Nathan out of camp so they can do a world domination thing lol

I've never seen any headcanons of them ever so it's super hard to wirte (even if it is just for myself, but I love over analyzing both of them) so I was wondering if you had any cools ones that you're comfortable with sharing?? I'm really really sorry if this is random, from a random user but I'm just so content starved and your art on here is so comforting and I love the scene one so so much!!!!

So um, if you can please tell headcanons >⁠.⁠<

wow i really appreciate that! i have a few, nothing too exciting. im not sure if you meant for them interacting or independent headcanons but ill say what i remember. it might be a longer response than you asked for LOL

for more technical ones:

i headcanon that nathan knows at least a little about how leslie works as a robot so if she gets hurt he can help fix her (but hes no robotics engineer so he cant do much about major damage). i also think that she can continue to mimic voices (like when she pretended to be president). she can use this to help herself or nathan (usually blackmail) but she also uses it to taunt nathan (for example, mimicking jimmy to piss nathan off). i also think leslie can change her body temperature from colder than a human to scalding hot (sometimes not on purpose, if she isnt working properly she might overheat which could damage her). i always imagined that there was some sort of underground facility (i wanna draw this but lazy) where she went to recharge, but thats one of my more fantastical headcanons. i personally think she didnt have parents or a house to live in (only a facility) but thats just me. i imagined that after leslie died, nathan recuperated and went to the crime scene or wherever her body was held and either: a. she showed signs of being functional, so he broke her out. or b. assumed she was completely dead/a lost cause and left her there (and she was still alive but wasnt capable of showing signs). both are fun ideas . i imagine that nathan diverted a great deal of his savings from drug-dealing to help repair leslie if he had saved her.

as for their relationship, in my headcanon:

neither of them will admit that they care about one another, even though they do. leslie doesnt admit it because she thinks that being emotional could compromise her rational thinking. nathan does not admit it because i dont think hes ever admitted any true feelings of appreciation or friendship for anyone lol. he would not do anything that might make him emotionally vulnerable (not that hes really conscious of this).

they both taunt eachother and can be meaner than they intended to. they both have a habit of lying to others in canon, so i imagine they still do that.

from a rational standpoint, leslie considers nathan an important asset and his ability to keep quiet about important (and unethical) things makes him valuable for secret operations. from a not-so-rational standpoint, she appreciated his different approach to life and the fact that he is not phased by leslies bizarre nature (the way she acts when she drops her act of being some innocent kid). she has grown fond of him in a way that i believe resembles an unspoken friendship.

nathan first considered leslie as another person to harass, but after being "employed" by leslie, he began to actually appreciate her, and its probably the first time a girl did not instantly hate or pity him. he probably has some sort of crush, but maybe not because leslie is crazy. he also thinks leslie is scary (but so do most people who have dealt with her "mask-off"). i think nathan likes leslie more than leslie likes nathan, but nathan is the first person she goes to if she has a problem, so they are dependent on each other at least a little.

thank you for your ask. hope it wasnt too much of an answer

[assaultmystic]

i spent half a decade studying philosophy and honestly the most important thing i learned was that there is no level of technical competence with specialist language that can do the work of making you live with what you say.

example. my academic supervisor for my masters was a transphobe. told me once in confidence (i wasnt out to him, i already had suspicions) that he sees trans people as “[undertaking] an arbitrary attempt to control other people’s use of language”. this was a man who has spent a significant part of his life studying ethics. specifically the relationship between ethics, language, personhood. how language unpersons people. he is exceptionally well read on these topics. he is not unintelligent. which, like, yeah, ironic sure. its also an inevitability of the cloistering endemic in academic philosophy, for one. but for another, its a matter of understanding that what words mean to us isnt settled by the words themselves but by what we do with them. what we commit ourselves to by them.

the second thing i would say before this collapses into the kind of straightforward anti-intellectual screed which would do numbers on here is this: what i have learned from the technical vocabulary i now share with this man has been, is still, fundamental to the way i conceive of the work of challenging my own assumptions, my own buried ideas about normalcy, about personhood, about when people mean what they say, etc.

the work of acquiring a vocabulary provides you with more subtle tools to reorient yourself towards the world and that is so worthwhile, even if it is down to you to actually do so.

[majorasnightmare]

obligatory post election personal vent post feel free to scroll

its like. after however fucking long of seeing people online pissing and screaming themselves about how having the barest fucking standards for a political candidate will condemn us all to a gruesome horrific fate. its just hard to motivate myself to the same level of sheer panic everyone else seems to be moving through

cuz being so fr this situation is literally identical to the state i was in like. 8 months ago

like the reason so many of us online were shaking people to fucking do something 8 months ago is because of the exact shit people are only now freaking out about.

like honestly. if anyone in my immediate circle dies in the next four years. its probably gonna be me! and that was as true in june as it is now!

for the individuals at the very bottom of the iron wheel of suffering, the material differences between the two candidates were next to nothing, because both hinged on grinding people like me up to prop up two technically-different but mostly-similar blocs of valued people. like my quality of life was never any important to biden, it wasnt to kamala, and it still wont be to trump. i cant work up the energy to have a genuine panic attack because i honestly exhausted those reserves ages ago

like. being so for real right now. addressed to a general audience and not current reader specifically. do any of you know how genuinely difficult it is to live like this? i already had no abortion access because abortions cost money and gas and there wasnt any insurance to use or cars to drive. i havent had access to critical life improving medication for 7 years, where it became blatantly obvious it was needed. when my entire world collapsed beneath my feet and one of my only remaining family members died and the resulting financial distress left the rest us floundering, there already wasnt a safety net beneath my feet. i was expected to be crushed. the fact that im still alive is probably a miracle.

the insurance we did have is currently exploiting a niche paperwork problem regarding having an insurance plan via family, so now there are two seperate insurance companies playing hot potato with medical visits either one of them could cover but both refuse to, leaving us saddled with stacking medical debt and a primary care provider whos pulled the plug on refilling prescriptions for medication because of it.

any person who could conceivably help us is across several state lines at the closest. we cant even receive deliveries because there isnt an address to send it to, including shit as simple as doordash. like thats the level of isolated here, where even if someone wanted to hand deliver food to us, they are simply unable to. theres no gas to drive for better signal or a computer with a printer, to drive to meet a beuracrat who knows how to qualify us for assistance. if im dysphoric and suicidal, theres genuinely nothing i can fuckin do about it. theres a high chance i have inherited intersex traits from my grandma that are causing health issues that i cant treat, and it wouldnt even matter if i was cis because you have to have the time money and ability to make multiple concurrent doctors visits.

i saw a post where someone was pissy that people voted based on gas prices when lives are at stake but what fucking world do you live in where gas doesnt determine if people live or die. you have to pick up insulin somehow right??

the truth of the matter is that the communities your fearmongering for have needed your health long LONG before this clownshow of an election rolled into the fucking circus and 90% of the people freaking out online dont have a fucking clue how to help. before trump got elected the first time around, me and mine were being left behind by people who couldnt value our health safety and wellbeing over the gas cost of being in a car for an hour. and that isnt even touching on the fact that for most of these years weve been isolated with a violent abuser that we only recently traded out for a different kind of homelessness.

kamala fucking harris wasnt going to keep me alive. she sure as shit wasnt going to help palestine stay alive. and when people pointed this shit out in a desperate plea to start the aid work EARLY, we got met with a fucking tide of blue maga shitheels openly fantasizing about republican death squads as just desserts for not kowtowing enough to a fucking imperialist. how can i panic now when my death sentence is the same as it was at the start of the year?

did anyone from those massive hurricanes actually get helped? could THEY vote? were they counted as important enough to meaningfully listen to for the sake of electoral power? you know the answer as well as i do.

i have more in common with a palestinian refugee, with a citizen in sudan, lebanon, ukraine, than i do with the people who use their names to avoid giving half a shit about their neighbor. the idea of writing them off as unavoidable casualties is just unimaginable to me. i have more in common with the indigenous survivors in my state than with the politicians who refuse to grant them human dignity. when was THAT gonna change.

my position under trump hasnt fundamentally changed. and its not because im so privelleged as to be shielded, but because im so vulnerable that i wasnt worth protecting even under a dem administration. and youd be a fool to think this is an isolated case. if i dont stand with my communities of color, with my fellow disabled isolated covid survivors, with my disenfranchised impoverished comrades, who the fuck will? certainly not the vast quantity of keyboard warriors blowing up twitter. if im bitter and tired i think i have a right to be. watching death come for my family on the heels of repeat covid infections on top of a lifetime of poverty induced medical neglect and seeing the people supposedly in my corner ask me to fucking throw them under the bus has been a ghoulish experience, all while refusing to listen to anyone else in my situation beg and plead for awareness and understanding to motivate them into meaningful action. that such depths of human suffering can exist and not even come close to the lowest of agonies capable of being experienced, shielded as thin as i am by the privellege of being white, is mindboggling. like were expendable. always have been. there isnt any protection to be gotten from these administrations cuz our blood is meant to grease the wheels.

its gonna get worse. obviously. the thing is, it was always going to get worse. it was always gonna try and kill me and mine. obviously im going to try to survive, what else can i do, but there was never even a mirage shimmer of safety for a lot of us. acting like kamala harris was some uniformly better option is just cruel. of course we need your help now but at some point you have to stop and think about why you only start caring about the people underneath the wheel when it looks like itll be your turn. because all it really does is make us wonder: would you still try to save us if you werent worried about yourself? and the answer were hearing, from your derision and hatred and cruelty, is a resounding no

idk how to end this. its a long ass vent. im tired and im gonna try and eat sometime tomorrow, and hope climate change doesnt try to kill me cuz i wouldnt be able to stop it in this condition

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Das Schicksal derer von Habsburg (1928) [The Fate of those of Habsburg]

This one was very interesting but I kind of struggle to really say anything about it. I can tell you that I had a better time with it than with Elisabeth von Österreich (1931) though.

This was a silent film about the slow death of the austrian imperial family and monarchy, starting with Rudolf's engagement and subsequent suicide all the way through to Emperor Karl's forced departure from Vienna after WWI. Honestly, it kind of had the same issue as Elisabeth von Österreich where I couldnt get emotionally invested at all, but I think I was less bothered by it because I realized pretty quickly that this film was basically just running through the all important events without really trying for emotional investment, if that makes sense. Like, this movie spends most of its time with Rudolf and arguably fleshes his 'fate' out the most, but then obviously it keeps going after his death, and after that was when I really got this feeling that it was essentially just listing a bunch of historical events involving the Habsburgs + the way they died with accompanying visuals, but that feeling was already there during Rudolf's section of the film, it just got more blatant as it went on.

I guess Im maybe a little disappointed because the title of the film made me think it was going to be more about how this family or the whole system of monarchy was doomed from the start, maybe looking at the whole thing with a sense of tragic inevitability kinda like Elisabeth: das Musical sorry I keep bringing it up, but it wasnt that. And that's not the film's fault, I just assumed stuff based on nothing but the title and again, it became clear to me what it was actually doing very quickly, so it wasnt a big deal.

I dont have much to say in the way of pacing and editing which means its pretty alright, but I will say that there was something kind of mesmerizing about it. A lot of it might just be the fact that this was only my second silent movie so my brain still registers it as 'very interesting' by default, but I know a big part of it was definitely the damaged film. When this movie was restored there were bits that had no completely undamaged film available so they had to use film that was already decaying, and now there's parts of the movie that are framed by this white rot on either side, and I just think it looks beautiful. I seriously wonder why decaying film effects arent as common in art as glitch effects or fuzzy vcr effects when theyre so evocative. Also, if Im already talking about technical stuff, the version that I watched was completely silent and didnt have any kind of score, and I thought silent films usually had scores that would then be the audio playing over them whenever they got restored. Is that actually the case and is this film meant to have a score, or am I getting my silent film facts wrong here? I mean, the fact that there wasnt a score didnt bother me too much, it was pretty unusual watching a movie without any kind of sound, but thats about it.

Anyway, I realize that saying "what I like about this movie is that time passed and it was partially destroyed but that partial destruction looks really cool" sounds like a real backhanded compliment, so now Im gonna talk about the other two things that stuck out to me in a positive way. Oh man, that also sounds like a backhanded compliment doesnt it. Listen, these arent the only things that I liked in film I otherwise find bad, these are just the only things I liked in a film that I otherwise dont feel very strongly about. Those things being—

Erna Morena as Elisabeth. I really liked her performance. Unfortunately I cant really articulate why, I think she had a weariness about her that enjoyed and I liked the way she carried herself.

That scene where Rudolf kisses Franz Joseph's hand. The context is, Franz Joseph is telling Rudolf that Mary is gonna leave Vienna so that she cant interfere with him and Stephanie, and that he is to be locked in his room or in the palace until she's gone, but Rudolf begs him to atleast let him see her one last time time so he's like "Fine, but you have to promise me that it really will be the last time you two see each other" and holds out his hand. Rudolf shakes it after a long moment moment of hesitation and then he kisses his hand before laying his cheek against it, and the Franz Joseph puts his hand on the back of his hand in a kindof embrace. oughhhhhhhhh. Its definitely because Ive had a real fascination with masculinity and specifically father-son relationships lately, but that scene is gonna live rent free in my head for a while

So yeah. In conclusion: it was an interesting watch but mostly by virtue of being a very old silent film. It ocurred to me after briefly skimming the wikipedia page that I would have probably found the actual film more interesting (or atleast had more interesting things to say about it) if it didnt deliberately avoid having any kind of political lean, but that doesnt change my opinion of the film so whatever

And now here's three small things that I noticed that I couldnt mention elsewhere before you go:

The makeup and costuming was so 1920s. I have previously said that I am not a history person, and Im not, but I do know some basic stuff about historical fashion and it was honestly really distracting. That was kinda the case with the costuming in Elisabeth von Österreich (1931) as well (although there it was mostly the hair and makeup) but this was a whole other level

There's this scene where Rudolf and Mary first meet and theres this instant chemistry and they start dancing together and then Rudolf just GRIPS her neck and pulls her into a kiss, it was so forceful. I dont think it was supposed to read as aggressive, I'm pretty sure it was just meant to be passionate but idk, it was weird. They dont have any other weird interactions here, for the rest of the film its just pretty standard, old-timey man-woman interactions. And then obviously the suicide, which felt only slightly less sudden than it did in Elisabeth von Österreich

I dont remember at what point in the film this was, I wanna say about a third of the way through, but I was thinking a little about Stephanie and how she was portayed here vs how she was portrayed in Rudolf: Affaire Mayerling, the only other piece of media I have seen so far where she gets focused on quite a bit. I noted that she was a lot more sympathetic whereas the musical portrayed her as a lot more antagonistic, and just as I finished that thought, Stephanie arrives in Mayerling after she heard that Rudolf went there with a certain baroness instead of coming to her, sees Mary sitting outside with Rudolf and some friends of theirs, walks up to her and hits her with either her fan or maybe some kind of stick, I dont remember. so that was kinda funny

[mekatrio]

my enthusiasm has gradually petered out over the past few days bc i had been so busy + havent been getting enough sleep, but aa2 was a truly amazing experience for me ESPECIALLY the last case, so i still want to dissect my thoughts on it although im not as hyped up as i was right after i finished playing it (i was jumping around and grinning and pacing around my room for hours and shit 😁) i have so many thoughts so im gonna split my review rambling whatever this is into different parts, this one is my thoughts on the first three cases :D

1st case was nothing spectacular.. pretty long for a tutorial level but i guess it was acting as padding for the more dramatic 2nd case.. i guessss. at least it was very funny and not too hard to solve. and it was also trying to be more thorough in teaching the gameplay mechanics during court sessions and making sure players have an idea of what to expect in later cases.. probably... its whatever whatever. at least an amnesic concussion is still the funniest way to reteach a tutorial so im so happy they went with that.

i liked the second case!! i wasnt able to figure out how the clothing box fit into everything until the very end, so i could rly understand wright's panic, bc for a good chunk of the case it really did seem like maya had killed someone. i think this case felt the most 'turnabout' of them all, bc in other cases there were other plausibilities and culprits right from the get-go, but w the way this murder happened in a locked room with (seemingly) only 2 individuals inside, it actually did feel impossible to save maya at first. so it was very satisfying to pick apart the lies and inconsistencies and be able to arrive to the truth. and it was nice to see kurain village, and learn more about the feys in general. and it was nice to see mia again!!! i wasnt sure if she would be coming back or not. mia and maya's reunion at the end of the case was super touching, bc one of the saddest moments in aa1 to me was during the 4th case when maya couldnt channel mia, and was wondering if she would ever be able to see her again.. so it was nice that she was really able to see her again :')

speaking of mia, i dont know if this series will explore this further, but just thinking abt her state of existence is lowkey kinda scary.. like, whats it like being dead? whats the difference between being alive and dead, considering mia is still somewhat mentoring and advising us despite being dead? could a fey, who can just possess another fey like that, be able to steal the body of another fey if they were killed? (this sounds like a possible case in the future, i wonder if this will happen..) will mia be like that forever? will future generations be able to speak to this mia, can she like.... rest? disappear? does she want to? can she? and its also pretty sad too, with how in aa1 when maya wondered if she could see her again; i feel like its less sad to have someone you love die and have that be that, than it is for them to die and you can maybe or maybe not see them again.. like i dunno. i hope this gets explored more, im curious abt it!!

also, mia being in this state of 'is but isnt here' really makes phoenix's character more enriching to me, bc in the first game he lost someone very dear and important to him... except not really. and we never really see him properly grieve mia in any extent if my memory is correct. like he didnt really dwell on it, he had to push thru it in order to defend maya. but then now in the second game, when we compare wright's almost... flippancy towards mia's death to his refusal to even acknowledge edgeworth's 'death'.... its a super interesting difference. this isnt to say that phoenix necessarily values one character over the other, but bc mia isnt necessarily 'gone'... there technically isnt much to mourn? kinda?? so the way we see phoenix behave in this game irt edgeworth, we get to properly see how phoenix behaves in the face of actual loss.. and his answer to loss is to completely reject it. and it works amazingly with gameplay too, bc he's really just compartmentalizing tf out of his issues and being like Nope. Let's Examine This Room Instead :) while maya or pearl just stares at him like 😐 it adds an extremely compelling layer of depth to wright's character!! and these moments of wright's rejection of his loss are done just the perfect amount of times, very seldomly and very restrainfully, that it creates this perfect air of tension throughout the entire game before it finally blows over in the last case. I LOVE IT RRARRGHHHH

pearl's and franziska's introduction to the story were amazing as well! i had no idea what pearl's character would be like... definitely was not expecting her to be mia's vessel #2 😭 but no yes pearl was an infinitely adorable and entertaining character, it is just so so so so awesome to have a tiny child who speaks so elegantly and have such mature tastes, but still be a cute tiny child. i love you pearl. if shes not in the next game im going to be REALLY REALLY SAD....... and franziska came in with just a massive dominating personality like Yes!!! she livened up so much of the game with her presence. im going to give franziska her own post bc she deserves it so ill talk abt her more in depth later.

and of course the ini miney twist... i already said this but the reasoning for the reveal (you cant drive without a license) is fucking IJBOL but ignoring the absurdity of that, it was a really good twist that i didnt see coming but could still be satisfied with. it was also really sad that morgan had to be convicted too, for pearl's sake i had really hoped that tht wouldnt be the case :( all in all the second case was very suspenseful, emotional, and very very good. i really liked it!

and the third case............................................................................

i wanted to put a reaction image here. but i could not find anything that could express the magnitude of my immense disgust. disappointment. resentment. and unhappiness................

i already posted a lot of my main grievances with it in my lb tag, and thinking abt this case again is just self-inflicting psychic damage so ill keep it short. but man did it suck. cuz currently in life i can only play aa like 2/3 days a week and then its back to 4/5 days of work. i did the first two cases in 3 days, worked for the rest of the week, and came back in anticipation bc the second case left off on such a good note. and then to use my 2 free days on a case this shitty... BROOOOOO FUCK THIS SHIT MAN!!! i spent the following days of work just being PISSED AS HELLLL cuz like i wanted to play a better case but now i could seeth as i worked bc of this SHITTY CASE like not only did it suck but it had to be LONG too. not like final case long but normal case long but ugh it sucked sucked sucked. ive said this before but i get they were trying to make the murder seem like a magic trick that we had to figure out the inner workings of, but like.... it just fucking sucked and wasnt well-executed at all. it didnt help that nearly every character in this case was incredibly grating and annoying and the one bearable character, acro, had to be the killer.. also that fucking ventriloquist like why was he standing around in the second day when there was literally nothing to talk to him about? also why did the ringmaster wear max's fucking clothes like wha..... i dont even care anymoreeeee 😭 ok bye bye im gonna gush about the 4th case in a seperate post now cuz that was the best fucking thing ever!!!!!!

[ithisatanytime]

had both parties agreed to a short amatuer match id still think sean was fucked up for going through with it but way less so than i do now because sparring is like a prowrestling match, its about TRUST. sneako is throwing punches but hes way out of his element, hes outmatched and importantly OUTWEIGHED by his oppenent to a comical degree, and remember he thinks hes SPARRING? the whole time sean is manipulating him too "im goin easy on you but soon im not gonna go easy on you and its really gonna hurt" these headgames are fine in a match but this is sparring you fucking dork what is you actually doin!? so sneako thinking hes playfighting with his dad keeps his shots to the body for most of the fight, throws jabs and straights at seans face occasionally (almost no hooks are thrown this is a clear sign sneako is not fighting but sparring, the most obvious tell in my eyes between an untrained and trained fighter is trained fighters fight straight back and forth, straights jabs crosses, while untrained fight side to side or horizontillay, so hooks and haymakers and uppercuts) its clear sneako is trying to play along and following seans lead as best he can, he may have been talking mad shit before this oh i could kick seans ass, but sean is a ufc champion hes more than used to that i assure you, sneako above all wants to impress sean, he knows hes not going to "win" i mean its sparring, but deep down he wants the ufc heavyweight champion to go "for a youtuber your not bad!" this would make his entire life. sean knows this too, and he uses it as an opportunity to hurt someone who had no real desire nor ability to hurt him back. anyway i hope sean strickland gets bone cancer i never liked him

to clarify about the straights and jabs sneako was throwing, i wasnt saying thats a sign hes trained, but rather its a sign he wasnt heated. if you watch sam hydes celebrity match, sam had been training in boxing for around six months to a year at that point i wanna say but i could be wrong, but he definitely took it seriously he got the bite for it. but when you watch his match, he dominated the entire match, was never in any sort of danger, but heres whats most important, he threw maybe two straight punches in three rounds. one of the two happened to be the most significant of the fight, and is the one most often shared in slow motion gifs. he was nervous as hell, he was in no danger from his oppenent but the lights and the crowd and the adrenelin took over, so he reverted to instinct not training he throws hook after hook after hook. its only late in the fight when his opennent is gassed, watch the gif, you can literally see sam SEE the opening in his openents defence, you can see him THINK "i should throw a straight" and then he throws a straight lmao, had his oppenent been a little better and/or less gassed he would have had ample opportunity to read these tells and dodge or block, but thats my point, even after a long time of serious training that you take seriously, he still had to THINK about throwing a straight. sneako throwing entirely straights with good technical form shows me that he wasnt heated at all, and he still knew where they were and what they were doing (sparring) while sean seems to have had a different idea. its unusual to see an amateur throw so many straights if they are heated is my point, sneako was nervous but relaxed he thought they were sparring when they were about to be in a real fight.

[p-t-f-s]

forgot it was possible to see sideblog notifs and im. surprised they have followers but then again so does this blog lmaooooooo. i should make vents again. i miss that. no time like the present.

fuck i need to work on my project thats past due and due tonight and if not turned in would drop me to a C but god. i hate this class and dont wanna but im already on my second retake and this time it was genuinely so much fuckin easier. even if the exact same professor bc shes the only one teaching this class did even worse with scheduling and assignment access this semester. and i genuinely have not been this suicidal since fuckin high and middle school. two different points in each. most bc of my middle school insomnia and All That That happened but my high school wasnt much worse considering i was working part time to full time my senior year of high school while also getting my associate's as my mom was kicking me out/to live with my dad in the near the end of the school year bc of me turning 18 and her being "free" of her legal duties to me [she was not bc by our law that SHE AS A FUCKING FEDERAL JUDGE KNEW was till the child of dicerce is 18 and GRADUATED HS DIPLOMA] she was finally free to move to the opposite side of the country/the political problems and backlash of challenging the baked in theosociological power structure of our city. my birthday was march and graduation was june. literal months and she couldnt wait that fuckin long. and so for the months leading up to my birthday and after i had been living out of my car which both my dad bought for me as an agreement between him and my mom as the end of his child support payments to her and so i wouldnt take the public bus after my mom forgot we had to lie to him that i was being driven to school so he would let me get my college degree bc i had to be at community college at 16 in a Large Dangerous City on the Worst Side Of Town. that shit sucked. i was Stressed and goddamn does it suck being an adult living under your own power and money, no matter how feeble, to know that even when situations are technically objectively better you can still be hella fuckin depressed. and fucking obsessive intrusive thoughts do NOT help but fuck do i wish i had the time to call for help to be able to see a fucking doctor for the first time in my life. like an actual full general doctor and getting an actual checkup and not just a walgreens sick note/athletic packet check. only having ever gone after socially pressuring ur dad by asking his gf for advice while hes halfway done in the bathroom so the conversations still going as he exits so SHE can hound on him instead of being brushed off as an anxious teenage girl bc "whats a doctor going to do?" when asked to go to the er. whos insurance ur on bc you asked him months ago while working on moving in and you couldnt go alone without ur guardian but youd been unable to hear from one ear for months after multiple home/self remedy attempts to clear wax blockage assumption. or my mother coming to visit curious as to why i still have acne after turning 18 bc you shouldnt have acne past 18 and making a dermatologist appointment she paid for to help but having previously told me that she didnt believe in getting sick bc she hadnt gotten sick for years.

and now i have about an hour left to work on a partial coding project bc now IT management is apparently the job of accounting now. i get rationally why theyre doing it and why its important but its fucking stupid and i hate it and again its fucking stupid. anyways. heres to hoping that it goes alright ig but fucking kill me and i hate everything but i swear to fuck if i dont get my bachelors next year im going to lose my shit

[fameheughan]

Sam took that one, she was right love technically had nothing to do with the facts of the matter. "No you are right." Was half this said to keep the peace in the world, yes it was, but the other half was the deeply loving boyfriend wanting her to feel heard by him. "Im not going to sugar coat and say I am when this is the least expected news. No Im not ready to be a dad but I also believe everything happens for a reason. That logistically yeah at best this kid could spend half their time on either or continent but the kid isnt even here yet for me to worry about that. We've got time to figure that out. If it was more convenient for you to live in America close to your family I would be there every second I could and I wouldnt expect to upend your life and you career by you moving here unless you wanted too" Sam put his hands on his hips. Just cause he didnt sound or look like it didnt mean this all wasnt swimming in his mind too. But he was trying to be reasonable and steady for her with all the uncertainty of it.

Sam stopping and keeping his distance letting her have the space to speak her mind and feelings right now, that was more important. "Think if anyone is the poster children for a child could be raised anyway and there is no right way, it might be you and I" Sam said shrugging almost timidly maybe not the best time to share that fact but it was a truth to consider. In all the turmoil it was finally sinking in to him he was going to be a dad, not the situation he would have predicted or desired but still a small part of him was admittedly excited for it. "I hear you I really do and you are right in many if not all the ways. I am terrified too. Just cause I look calm doesnt mean this is all frightfully now sinking in. But freaking out right now isn't good for you on my behalf." He answered his heart so full of love for her and tortured seeing her so much turmoil right now but knowing this wasnt going to just be eased any time soon there was big questions and concerns rightly looming over the, "I have no road map for being a dad. And there are a thousand ways I can legitimately screw this up too" Sam said careful to listen and acknowledge her before spewing out his own concerns "I have no idea how to make this work right now or whats the right way in any of it, but I know you and I together can do anything. I also dont know how the hell this is going to work but I trust we might find out" Sam's eye pleading with her that her heard her and he will not take her concerns lightly. And then his heart broke all over again watching her tangle herslef into fears of not being good enough. Real tears cresting in his eyes "You are always more than enough. This isn't fair and if we had it to do over we both maybe taken a different route but chance gave us this, as messy and unpredictable as this was. but I know you. I know nothing terrifies you more than something unpredictable and not controllable. But I also know the version of you born out of that is the most loving and capable person...not one mom is perfect but I don't think you'd do anything but an amazing job at it" Sam while slowly walking into her space she created, reaching out to fully hold her on that note.

Dakota let out a breath, standing up and walking away from her boyfriend. "Don't you get it?" she muttered, pursing her lips and looking up at the ceiling as she began to pace around once again. "This isn't about how much I love you or how much you love me. It's about bringing a child into this world when I'm not even close to being ready." Her voice was laced with frustration and guilt. She knew that a child was a blessing, but at that moment, she was more scared than anything else. "Are you telling me that you're ready to be a dad? How are we even going to handle everything?" She shook her head, her mind racing. She was already thinking about the logistics. "You live in Scotland, and I live in the US. We are both so crazy busy all the time. Do you think this is the right environment to bring a child into? Especially with so much uncertainty?"

"This was not how things were supposed to happen," Dakota's voice broke mid-sentence. Once again, she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together. "Fuck, I'm scared. I'm terrified. And I know you're going to be there. I'm not questioning that in the slightest. But aren't you scared?" She looked at Sam with intense, piercing blue eyes from across the room. She paused, taking a moment to gather her thoughts, feeling the enormity of the situation pressing down on her. "This child deserves a mom who's well-prepared and equipped to handle everything, and right now, I don't feel like that at all," she breathed out, the weight of her fear and uncertainty evident in her voice. Dakota's heart ached with the enormity of the situation, her thoughts swirling in a chaotic storm. She felt torn between her love for Sam and the daunting reality of becoming a mother before she was ready. Her voice softened, the vulnerability clear as she continued, "I want to be the best mom I can be, but right now, I don't know if I can be that person. I'm so scared of failing, of not being enough." Dakota's tears flowed freely now, her body trembling with the intensity of her emotions. "This isn't fair to you, or to this baby. We deserve a chance to do things the right way, to be truly ready for this. But right now, I just feel lost and overwhelmed." She looked at Sam, searching his eyes for any sign of reassurance, any hint that he understood the turmoil she was experiencing. "I need you to understand how terrified I am, how uncertain everything feels. We need to figure this out together, but I don't even know where to start."

[coyoteclaw11]

[winged-deity]

Hello, sorry if you are busy but could I please request parental dreamsmp members reacting to their child swearing? And when they ask where they learnt that word they say from Uncle Bad when he was cooking or something? I just think it would be funny and wholesome lol, thankyou for your time love ya<3

Thank you for requesting and hope this is to your liking!

Parental! DSMP members reacting to child reader swearing

Heard It From Uncle Bad

warnings: !swearing!, !mentions of violence!, !use of nicknames!

Dream

Dream was keeping a close eye on you playing out in the fields while he sharpened his axe in the cool shadow of a blooming willow tree.

He barely catches a glimpse of you stumbling over your own feet, but as he'd learned, you rarely cried over things like that. But what he heard next, wasnt something he expected.

His head snaps up in full attention when he hears the word leave your mouth, "Fuck!" you had schreeched as you scraped your knees on the muddy ground.

He immediately discarded his axe on the ground, and walked over to you, still in pure and utter shock.

"Little flower, where did you learn that word?" he kneeled beside you, trying his best to contain his inner disappointment and anger torwards whoever taught his child swear words.

You had looked up at him, slightly confused at his sudden interest before you answered his still waiting question "Uncle Bad said it when he hurt his hand on the stove, last weekend when he was watching me"

Dream had blinked at you for a few seconds in utter disbelief, he was about to call you out on lying. Before he remembered that you didnt know any better than to always tell the truth.

After a small discussion where he explained why you couldnt use that word, he left you to Sapnap and George, and headed torwards Bad's house where they would soon have a long talk.

Sapnap

You would be with him, while he is trading in the nether. You usually tend to stick close to him as to not anger the piglins, or get lost.

However, this time while he was trading with you behind him, clinging to his pant leg. A piglin approached you, and as you did not like the intimidating look it was giving you, you hissed at the piglin "Fuck off!"

Sapnap choked on nothing, and immediately slapped a hand over your tiny mouth "hey buddy, don't say that word!.." he chuckled nervously as the piglins eyed him disapprovingly.

After you two got back into the overworld, he lifted you onto his shoulders "where did you learn that word" he had asked you, and you answered with a simple shrug "i heard grandpa say it while i was over at his and skeppy's house"

Sapnap had bursted into laughter the moment he heard this, "thats pretty funny, but don't say that word anymore. People are gonna think i taught you that" he gave an over exaggerated sob for dramatic effect, as you giggled.

Awesamdude

He had been working at the prison nonstop for weeks on end, and as much as he hated to not be able to spend time with you, there was not much he could do.

The biggest suprise was when he was sitting at the front desk, when he heard familiar yelling and pounding on the prison gates. At first he was cautious, but once the next words left your mouth "open the motherfucking door, Awesamdad!" his gaze darkened as he opened the gates, pondering who taught his young child such foul language.

Awesamdude wasnt usually one to care about swearing, but when the case was about his own child thats a no no.

He let you into the prison arms crossed, staring you down as you had no idea how much trouble you were in. "why do you come into my work screaming those bad words at the gates?" he stared you down.

"bad words?" you expressed your confusion "it cant be a bad word, cause uncle Bad said it, and he doesnt use bad language" you crossed your arms proudly over your chest, mimicking your father.

He chuckled quietly "i see.. Well uncle Bad is gonna get a long talk after im done with work"

Philza

He had not planned on adopting anymore children after Tommy (and technically Tubbo), but here he was, in the middle of the tundra, a wanted war criminal, with a child.

He was confident that no bad influences would come to you after the fall of l'manburg, since the only people you two lived with were Techno and Ranboo. And occasionally Niki would show up as well.

So he was in utter and pure shock and disbelief when he heard you shout "fuck!" at the top of your lungs, after falling over while Techno was teaching you how to spar.

Techno immediately dismissed Phil's suspicion torwards him, saying he wouldn't swear in the presence of the child in question. Phil had questioned you in a serious matter, asking who taught you that word, he had his suspicions but he was definitely caught off guard as you mentioned Bad's name.

He had already tried to keep you away from the demon, because of all the mans weird connections with the egg cult and other weird shit. And he didn't even know you had met Bad. He just dismissed it and told you to not talk to that man again, which you happily obliged.

Jschlatt

Schlat wasn't necessarily like other parents, he wasnt the best parent either. So it wouldn't be surprising if you had learned most of your bad influences from him. But besides all those odds, your first curse word wasnt from him.

He already had alot of issues, he wasnt at all fit to lead a country, and his alcohol problems had a vice-like grip on his life. So when he heard you cursing under your breath as you scribbled on paper in his office one day, he simply lifted his brow.

"where'd you learn that, Pumpkin?" he hummed, dismissing his more important paperwork aside.

As stated before, he wasnt necessarily a good parent, he was just simply intrigued on how you knew that language at your age. And more interested in who taught you that, since you weren't allowed to leave the white house without him or Quackity.

And if it turned out to be Quackity who taught you that (which wouldn't be that surprising), he swears he'd had that fuckers head.

He may not have paid alot of attention to you growing up, but he did care about you. Even if he didn't show it. So it wasn't a joke when he said he'd have the person's head who taught his kid swear words.

You had simply turned to him "that scary guy with the horns and white eyes said it while i was on a walk with Mr. Quackity" you hummed, then immediately turning back into your drawings.

Schlatt blinked at you in disbelief, before bursting into laughter "oh that demon fucker?! He bothers everyone else on their language and then swears infront of a child?" he took a deep inhale to calm his laughter, before his eyes turned dark "the nerve.."

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I was gonna do more characters, but this is already long enough. Hope everyone liked this, and my requests are still open! <3