#but what matters is she tries her best and isha always knows how much her mama loves her

[dykeloid]

I really want to make a fix it fic where Jinx and Ekko just raise Isha and they're all a happy family is that too much to ask

[bwat5-blog]

Did Jinx Love Vi?

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

Okay. First let me say I am not here to attack or insult Jinx. The title is literally just addressing the question I'm hoping to answer so.. put down the torches and pitchforks. I recently had a very nice short talk with someone on one of their posts, and it was primarily to do with this issue of how Jinx treats Vi in the show. And in truth, I share a lot of their feelings. For the most part, we never really get a moment of Jinx outwardly showing any sympathy or kindness to Vi at all until almost the end. As I always do for clarity let me be crystal clear. Vi is my favorite character. But I think most people watching objectively can agree she tries really fucking hard for the people she loves and gets kicked in the teeth almost constantly.

*Not writing in my usual spot to look up these quotes so some may be paraphrased*

" Never thought my sister would turn blue-belly"- Literally there because of what Jinx did

"I'm a hero. I busted half of Zaun out of prison while you were passed out at the bottom of a mug"- Vi completely spiraling after losing literally everyone she loves and Jinx knowing full well she didn't step in for Zaun until they took Isha

" She used to be pretty cool, til I kicked her ass"- literally the fight where Jinx lured Vi down there hoping to die and it ended with her on her back urging Vi to finish her.

Smirks at Vi when Vi sees the Mural of her and Vander. Even though Jinx literally betrayed everything Vander ever stood for and considers the man who murdered Vander and caused the deaths of their brothers her father. All while Vi is nowhere to be seen.

Now, there is obviously history between them, Jinx has her reasons to be angry just like Vi does. NEITHER ARE PERFECT. But these few examples are not exaggerated or spun. And they are just a few of many. It can really come off like Jinx just does NOT care what happened to Vi at all:

Seven years in Stillwater undergoing god knows what kind of hell

Almost killed getting back to her in the undercity before being taken by firelights

Almost killed by Jinx on the bridge

Almost killed by Silco at the same event where she begs Cait for Jinx life and Jinx responds by murdering Caitlyn's mother

Has clearly been driven so far by Jinx's actions and what has happened that she becomes Enforcer

Abandoned by Caitlyn and on self-destructive spiral that will very likely kill her because Caitlyn has lost her self after everything Jinx has done to her.

However, I think there are some things we need to remember to better understand this issue:

Jinx is severely mentally ill. I know this is obvious. But it matters because everything she says and does is filtered through a different lens than the average person.

Jinx hates herself and in season 2 especially, wants to die until she bonds with Isha. She gives us evidence of this repeatedly but the moment I most remember is when she meets Isha for the very first time and describes knowing she could die at any time as the best feeling in the world. Then goes on to associate herself with cursing a a sister, a family or a society, I think it was.

"I'm losing my snappy comebacks"- Part of Jinx's whole schtick is verbally lashing out. She mocks everyone, at all times, for any reason. It doesn't make it kind or right. It's just what she does. She also absolutely knows precisely what to say to piss her sister off. Like any good little sister would. Additionally, you may be the person yourself but if not, we all know that person whose defense mechanism is cruel or sarcastic words. While Jinx is plenty dangerous, more often than not when she feels insulted/threatened/uncomfortable she goes for the death blow verbally.

Considering all of that, while there are moments I wish she could have shown Vi alittle more kindness and love, especially with how much Vi loves her, I think Jinx's love for Vi remains constant throughout the show, even if her motormouth sometimes makes it hard to see:

The Reunion:

Even after all the terrible things in their childhood, including the incident for which Vi carries so much guilt and some of the fandom think a fifteen year old Vi should have been crucified for, this is how their reunion starts. Vi apologizes immediately and embraces her. Jinx is crying and ashamed of how she has changed but Vi accepts her and loves her. It only goes wrong when Jinx sees Caitlyn, and why is she mad at Caitlyn who she has never seen or met?

Cyclops and lefty to the rescue. Silco to turn Jinx against Vi and Sevika intentionally trying to damage Jinx's mental health, both of these figures poison Jinx against Caitlyn ruining the next several times they get close. But all throughout that series of events we see Jinx trying to overpower the voices in her head because she knows Vi loves her, and she loves VI. Just unfortunately, she does not win.

2. Seeing Vi As An Enforcer:

Now this isn't a happy moment of course. But Jinx isn't so distraught at seeing Vi in the uniform because she doesn't care about Vi. She is seeing what she believes is the total rejection of her by the last person she has who loves her and who she loves, all wrapped up in the package that killed her parents

3. Jinx VS Vi:

Even during the fight Jinx wanted to end in her death, when Isha gets involved and sticks a gun in Vi's face Jinx IMMEDIATELY screams no.

4. Jinx At the Pit:

If you slow down the cinematic of Vi's time in the pit, is actually shown a few times not just the once. Now I admit this is head-canon and probably the least provable one of these. But I don't think Jinx would have show up again and again to take pleasure in or mock Vi's pain. I think she was just checking on her in the best way her mind knew how.

5. Vander:

I already mentioned how their last interaction went, and the fact that Jinx came to Vi anyway to try and rebuild their family knowing full-well Vi would likely want to kill her is impressive and a clear sign of JInx's desire for them all to be together again.

There are plenty more examples to either point (particularly the MASSIVE example of how Jinx feels about vi in the end of the show), this was quick and not my usual quality. But the thought struck me and I wanted to jump on it. Feel free to share your thoughts same/different or otherwise, I appreciate all of you who take time out of your day to read my thoughts. Even when they are quick and slap-dash like this.

The story of these sisters is one that for me, will live on forever. Have a great day.

[sevikas-biceps]

[TLDR: the little finger wiggles that Felicia does are in mimicry of bunny ears]

Why is this particularly significant?

Well, in a way, it's incredibly prophetic.

In some cultures, rabbits can symbolise innocence, new beginnings, and good fortune; in others, tricksters and longevity.

These are all perfect descriptions of what we know of Powder and Jinx: she was a bright-eyed young thing, filled with so much talent and ambition, making her mark wherever she went. Full of spunk and creativity, of life; the very thing that Silco wanted to nurture in the Undercity. She was a staple to Zaunite culture.

What anyone else in Zaun, given the opportunity, could be.

Ekko said it best: Your ideas change the world. The person that Powder/Jinx is, was always meant to mean something significant to others, no matter the weight or the amount of influence: for the alternate timeline, we know she was the cause of Vi's death, hence heralding the peace between Piltover and Zaun; for the timeline we see as the dramatic centre, we know she was the cause of her family's death and eventually a terrorist, hence becoming a catalytic figurehead of the war to come.

The person that she is, is literally an idea. This is why no matter what she does, she just can't seem to die. Ideas don't die. No matter how much she tries to smother 'Powder', no matter how much she tries to repress 'Jinx'; all of what she is will never fade nor be forgotten. History will be made palatable (as Caitlyn says)—and the same will hold true for Jinx. In that regard, past those who would remember her personally, she well and truly would never die.

It's rather ironic, too—because there's still a part of her that will remain a dreamer for a better future. A part that is still childlike, still innocent, still yearning for a day when everything can be alright again. We see this with Isha. The kid gave her what neither Vi nor Silco could provide: peace. Even if just for a short while and even in simple silence, Isha gave her life a new meaning. Isha became the 'rabbit' in Jinx's life.

It makes Isha's death even worse because Jinx fooled herself into thinking that things were finally settling into place. Such is the nature of the rabbit. Of the trickster. Mischievous, fleeting. Never content to idle, always bouncing from one place to another. It simply does not stay.

Everything just circles back to what she already knows: she's a curse.

Powder does not stay. Isha does not stay.

And so, just like them, Jinx also leaves.

The small finger wiggle that Powder does reflects this, as it's essentially Felicia prophesying the path of her daughter's existence.

A rabbit from beginning to end: cunning and destructive but ever hopeful against all odds, even as she walked away from a self-fulfilling cycle, fooling the world of a death that never was and never shall be.

[akascow]

im pretty sure i never finished editing this and putting all my thoughts into it but its been in my drafts for like a month and i cannot delete it bc i spent too long on it im just scared to post it because i dont wanna upset anyone but im tired of it being in my drafts so im just posting it with a single tag and running pft i know if i actually reread it i'll just keep adding thoughts and itll never get finished so im gonna not look over it HAHA

its basically me ranting about other people being upset over "some s2 plot points were unnecessary" and how a lot of it was actually needed for the story so if u dont think youd like reading maybe just scroll idk

that type of mindset is so silly bc when u think about it for more than 2 seconds, the arcane team spent porbably over THREE YEARS animating and storyboarding and doing the best they could to 'wrap up' what was supposed to be an entire THREE SEASON ARC into NINE episodes

i GUARANTEE they agonized over not only EVERY LITTLE DETAIL they felt was necessary to the story BUT ALSO painstakingly animating said little details BECAUSE IT WAS NECESSARY TO INCLUDE IN THE STORY

like obviously its fine to dislike how it turned out i know not everyone will like it as much as i did and thats totally fine however just because u didnt totally like how things went over doesnt mean it was unnecessary kjdlskjfd

and im not saying s2 is completely perfect and therefore unable to be touched by criticism. theres some scenes even i dont care for when i rewatch it, same as s1, but theyre still important to the story nonetheless lol

i keep seeing this👇🏻 complaint and idk its getting to me a lil lmao

‘ishas death was pointless it didnt change anything’ did we miss the part where jinx got so depressed that she tried to blow herself up (CHARACTER DEPTH) and she finally got to talk with silco and ended up helping in the fight bc of what he n ekko said (PLOT PROGRESSION) and jinx let go of vi so that vi could finally let go of powder (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT)

also since when did a character death have to always mean smth HAHA just because she didnt actually kill vander doesnt make it pointless💀💀 it was important to hers and jinx’s character: smth smth like isha sacrificing herself for someone she loves, and jinx watching someone someone she loves and deeply connects with sacrificing themselves for her even if she probably thinks she herself is not worth saving,, (i think idk lmfao)

and it also helps to catalyst viktors machine herald form bc singed takes and merges him with vanders beast (the beast is like lowkey dead after she blasts him so like,, theres that too) the show is very centered around the snowballing/domino effect of one thing leading to another to another to another and so on and so forth.

"jinx vi cait sevika and isha couldve just left" isha gets scared as she watches jinx thrown to the ground and noxian soldiers inch in on her with spears. what isha did saved jinx's life because ambessa was determined to kill jinx too. it didnt kill vander but it immobilized him enough as well as the surrounding soldiers so that the fighting would stop and our mc's could escape

jinx joins the fight in the end because of what ekko says and how she connects it with isha. "no matter what happened in the past, its never too late to build something new, someone worth building it for" which presumably means fighting to fix the future of the two cities i think idk

its fine to be sad about her death obviously but lets not pretend the rest of the show didnt happen lmfao... it would be pointless if literally no one reacted at all but thats very much the opposite of what we saw HAHA... and it probably felt like she got pushed to the side never to be mentioned again (bc no one ever mentions her again HAHA) but u can clearly see how tired and Over It jinx was after isha dies, and how it helped her finally let go so everyone else can move on. like no one mentions her but jinx incorperates parts of isha into her airship decorations (bunny ears on the balloon, shart teeth from her hat on the turbine, designs on her goggles on the windows) and she wears the same pink face paint that isha did

also we just wouldnt have that beautiful montage of isha and jinx in her final moment if it wasnt meant to be important lol

but yeah u gotta remember how much the writers had to fit into s2 in order to get a decent ending lmao

[asrarblog]

Dear Colleagues!  This is Pharma Veterans Blog Post #321. Pharma Veterans welcomes sharing of knowledge and wisdom by Veterans for the benefit of Community at large. Pharma Veterans Blog is published by Asrar Qureshi on WordPress, the top blog site. Please email to asrar@asrarqureshi.com for publishing your contributions here.

Ramadan Kareem

The holy Ramadan of 1441AH has just started. I pray that Allah Protects all of us from the current threat of COVID19, and Allah Gives us ‘taufeeq’ to fast in its true spirit, clean our souls from the dust of sins and wrongdoings, and make amends to become better persons. Aameen.

I shall not talk about the religious aspects of Ramadan; I am not qualified to do so. I would rather talk about the social aspects and would like to take you down memory lane to the old times.

Ramadan has been a special part of our social landscape for hundreds of years, I guess. It has always been a special time. Being a whole month, it started on a high, anticipatory note of spiritualism which kept rising till the end and culminated in the festivity of Eid ul Fitr.

In my earliest memories, which would be very early 1960s, Ramadan was Ramzan, as everyone called it then. Qira’at and Qari’s were not everywhere. Even the Imams of mosques recited Qura’an in ‘majhool’ way of recitation. Anyway, Ramzan used to come in winter in those days. And the winter was spread over 5 months and was really cold throughout.

In the early hours of cold nights, an hour and half or so before Sehri, a guy would walk by in the street. He would carry an empty tin which he would bang with a stick to make noise. He would also shout “Bhola Aa Gaya, Bhola Aa Gaya, Sutyan Nu Jaga Gaya’. It was public service to wake up people because not everyone had an alarm clock. After 10-15 minutes, a group of 5-6 young people would do the round. They would be reciting verses loudly and made sure people woke up. These two public alarm clocks were a permanent fixture in Ramzan. They would come no matter how harsh the weather might be. This service was free of charge. On the Eid Day, Bhola and the young group took a round of each house and sought to get something as reward. They would neither insist nor argue and would keep whatever they got.

The elders got up to prepare Sehri; we, the children, listened but kept us curled in the warm bed. We lingered on till we were told it now or never. We got up, had Sehri and would run back to warm beds. Permanent fixture of Sehri was Paratha; other things would keep changing. Our mother, may she rest in peace, would make Parathas and we would sit beside her and eat.

First fast by a child was a special occasion. It was celebrated by the whole family. The child would be treated as royal throughout the day and treated with a feast at Iftari. There may be some cash reward or gifts also, as the conditions allowed.

Iftari was an everyday celebration. In most homes, elaborate arrangements were done for Iftari, the best that they could do. Other than fruit, everything was home made. E-coli filled Samosas from bazaars came much later. The Iftar started with Khajoor (date) and some water which was followed by pakoras, chaat and some other things. Supper was some time after Maghrib prayer. We were more interested in Iftari rather than supper, as you would understand.

Taraweeh was a fixture of Ramzan nights. Men and children went to mosque for Isha prayer and taraweeh, while women prayed at home. Taraweeh was considered no less than a ‘farz’. In fact, we were told that the ‘rozas’ remained suspended between earth and sky if these were not supplemented with taraweeh. The roads were more or less empty during taraweeh time; only people with some urgent work were out of mosque.

Eid shopping was the topping during the last 10 days or so of Ramzan. Women led the effort and men towed behind. Children enjoyed.

Time passed and we grew as adults, became parents and the cycle was repeated. As happened with everything, simplicity was abandoned for complexity in the name of greater spirituality or whatever. Homemade delicacies were abandoned for huge Iftaris outside or Outside specialties at home. Paratha at Sehri was changed with Pizza and so on. As a rule, I never lament upon what was and is no more; it is just stating the facts.

Three things stand out vis-à-vis social aspect when I look back over the last sixty years. And this is so in spite of all the changes that have been there.

Extra Expenses – everyone spent beyond usual. The expense was done on extra foods every day at Sehri and Iftari. Iftari was almost always shared with some neighbors. Charity was at its peak. People were generally not rich, but they happily did charity and sharing during Ramzan. Eid shopping was also a sizeable expense, but it was done. Gifts for brothers and sisters and parents were also thrown in. and finally, the Eidi money that we received as children and paid forward as adults. How could they afford such extravagance during Ramzan? Knowing that they had limited means, why did they still do it? My parents said Allah gave special Barkat during Ramzan. That it was a special time for sharing and praying and charity; we should keep faith and should do it in the name of Allah. It must have been so. The opulence and affluence of Ramzan were not seen at any other time during the year.

Enhanced Spirituality – we felt pious and we felt motivated to do good. We tried consciously to avoid bad things. While fasting, we felt hungry in winter and thirsty in summer, but we felt good. There was a comfort all around despite physical hardship. There was an overall feeling of peace, inside and outside. If for any reason, a fast could not be kept, it caused great discomfort and anguish. Taraweeh sometimes felt tiring after a long day but it still felt nice. Yesterday, a friend shared a clip edited to include Dr. Israr Ahmed, Engr. Anwar, Maulana Ishaq, and Javed Ghamidi. They were all proving that Taraweeh is no prayer at all. They are all great scholars and must be right. Taraweeh may not be mandatory by religion, but it is a great exercise for enhancing spirituality. Corona issue notwithstanding, the image of Ramzan without taraweeh is not very motivating. Yes, we may suspend it in this time due to serious health threat, but it has to remain part of Ramzan landscape.

Spirit to Give – Man is not giving by nature. He is possessive in nature and desires to accumulate. Allah says “Say [to them], “If you possessed the depositories of the mercy of my Lord, then you would withhold out of fear of spending.” And ever has man been stingy.”[17:100].

Ramzan is an unusual time when even the stingy and miser get the courage to spend. Zakat has somehow been associated with Ramzan, partly thanks to Ziaul Haq. Lot of people pay zakat in this time. Everyone tries to give during this month. It may be due to expectation of greater reward or just feeling more generous but giving is at its highest during Ramzan. It is a great thing and a special gift of Ramzan.

So, Ramadan is here again with all its beauty and generosity and spirit. Let us keep safe but get the most benefit out of it.

Going into greatest details of religion may actually become a disservice by causing discord and disorientation. Let the worships and prayers remain simple and focused.

Concluded.

Ramadan – the Social Aspect – Blog Post #321 by Asrar Qureshi Dear Colleagues!  This is Pharma Veterans Blog Post #321. Pharma Veterans welcomes sharing of knowledge and wisdom by Veterans for the benefit of Community at large…

[storytimemof0z-blog]

The Break

Well here it is, the next chapter. The Break.

-

The title of this may got you wondering what the “break” is, a little secret, there’s 3 breaks. Keep reading and you’ll find out.

-

The living room tv was playing static, I was under my favorite pink blanket. I turned to my left to see the old clock, it was 10:15pm. I couldn’t sleep. Ever since I seen Trayce yesterday, I couldn’t stop thinking of him. I would catch myself looking at the pictures we took from the 8th grade and reread our texts from weeks ago. He was all I could think about. Every breathing moment reminded me of him. I needed to run away. So that’s exactly what I did. I ran.

        I went upstairs and put on my socks, opened my closet and reached to the back corner where my favorite nike shoes were. It was a cold night so I looked through my piles of clothes for my Adidas joggers. Threw on my black and white nike windbreaker and went downstairs. Everything was so quiet. I could hear the little creaks of the house as the wind swept through Kapolei.

        I opened the front door, put my hood over my head and started to jog. The little dog next door began to bark as I ran past their front lawn. The wind blew even more. I started to go faster.

        I remember the first day we met, we were in science doing a volcano project.

        “Excuse me Miss,” says Ms. Savage. “I need you to pick a partner.”

        I looked around, everyone was walking to their partners, I couldn’t see anyone alone. “umm Ms. Savage, everyone has a partner.”

        “hmm, he doesn’t. Trayce, come here.” ”You two are gonna work together.”

        Trayce looked at me like I was a total stranger. That’s when he said “Wait, Ms. Savage. I don’t even know her name.”

        At this point I was already annoyed, for 1 my partner didn’t even know my name, and 2, it was the end of the day. I was tired, nothing would be better than the comfort of my own bed.

        As Ms. Savage was explaining the project to the class, I start dozing off. Trayce taps me, “hey you’re falling asleep and by the way I know your name.”

        This was the beginning, the beginning of a new and great friendship.

        My heart was beating faster by the second, my feet was sore. I stop and look around. I couldn’t tell where I was, the heavy wind turned into a storm. The rain started to seep through my jacket. Puddles were building up around me as I tried to catch my breath. I checked the time on my phone, it was exactly 11pm. I turned around to the blinding lights of the car pulling up behind me. I covered my eyes with my hand to try and make out the driver of the car. As it came closer I could hear the squeaky breaks from Kawika’s truck.

        “Hey, what are you doing here??” he yells out of his window.

        “oh um, I’m training for the 10k run”

        “What I can’t hear you.” He yelled. “Hop inside, I’ll take you home.”

        I walked slowly towards the truck and opened the passenger door, he was wearing gray sweatpants and a gray tank top. He reached behind me for a towel and wrapped it around my shoulders.

        “The run isn’t until after the break, are you sure this is about the 10k?”

        He knew me so well I couldn’t lie to my boyfriend. So I told him the truth.

        “Kawika, I truly do love you.”

        He cut me off before I could continue.

        “I love you with all my heart, I really do. I’m sorry for the past, but that’s behind me I’ve changed to be with you.”

        “I know, and I can’t thank you enough for it. But if we continue this I need to know that we are both focused on each other and not on other people. And you’ve been loyal to me since we first started dating, I’m sorry but it’s not you it’s me. This is really cheesy but I’m being completely honest.”

        From the reflection of the light I could see a tear going down his cheek. I couldn’t help but break into tears knowing that I was the one who caused him this pain. I was confused, lost, and broken all at the same time. I know that in the future I will get over Trayce and be happy again with Kawika but as of right now my heart wanted Trayce.

        “Kawika…” I said softly.

        He leaned in and hugged me. “Thank you for being honest, now let’s get you home.”

        The ride home was quiet. I looked out the window and seen nothing but blurry flashing lights since my tears clouded the images. I could hear a faint sniffle as we drove home. We made a left turn and pulled into my driveway, I looked at him and said “I love you.”

        He wiped his eyes and smiled back at me.

-

That was a sad ending of part 1. Good thing the next one isn’t as sad.

-

        It’s the third day of break and I had nothing to do, no one to see, and no happiness whatsoever. I woke up with a feeling that I didn’t belong in this world, my eyes were puffy and a light pink. My nose itched from all the tissue I used. I looked around my room and seen tissue balls everywhere and pictures ripped from my walls. My room was a mess, just like me.

        By noon I still haven’t gotten out of my bed, I was still in the same wet clothes from the night before. I heard a buzz under my pillow. I looked under to see that my phone got a text. It was from a random number. I blew my nose into a used tissue and unlocked my phone.

        When I opened up the message I realized that it was a group message, the only number I knew from the group was Kawika’s. I noticed that a random number sent a picture, as it was downloading I started to wonder what it was and why this person put multiple people in a group. A few seconds later it loaded, I flew my phone across my bed in disgust. It was a nude. But not any nude, it was a nude from the one and only Camille. That’s when it all made sense why Kawika was in the chat. I couldn’t believe what I saw, so I mute the conversation and went about my pouting. About a minute later my phone started to buzz like crazy, I peaked at it and of course it was the group chat. Someone named it “EXPOSE EXPOSE EXPOSE.” I was confused with all the numbers so I made everyone say their names. One by one all the names kept coming in. Trey, Taylor, Andrew, Kona, Janne, Pono, Simon, Isha, Kimmy, Kawika, and Nainoa.

        An hour passed and the group chat started to die down. I guess we all got sick of talking about how wack the nude is. We all started to tell jokes and funny puns, then we made a pact that whatever was in the chat stays in the chat. No screenshots, no snitching, nothing was to leave the chat. We started to play 21 questions, and Trey asked if I would ever date Trayce. A second later Kawika left the chat. I didn’t get a chance to respond before breaking down into tears remembering what happened the night before. My heart began to ache again.

        Then he facetimed me. Trayce.

        I answered but stayed clear from the camera. He kept asking to see my face and I kept saying the same thing, “I look wack right now.” No matter how much times I gave him that excuse he kept giving me a compliment back.

        Excuse after excuse, compliment after compliment, I would not let him see my face. Then he said that he was coming over in an hour just to see me. My heart started to beat all over again. I needed to get ready and clean fast. I told Trayce it was okay for him to come over since my parents were away at a trip and he confirmed that he’ll be come over at 3:30. I hung up and looked at my clock, it was 2.

        I called Lola and Krystal and of course they both arrived in less than 10 minutes. Krystal brought the drinks and Lola brought the “protectors” ;). For some reason I could always depend on them to get crazy. I decided to just make a little barbecue, just the couples. Lola called Pali and Krystal called Tui. The boys both said they’ll come over after their football game. After we cleaned up my house we went upstairs into my room to get ready. Unsurprisingly Lola dressed the best and Krystal had the best makeup. I threw on some regular day clothes and thought I looked good, but they thought different. They started to roast me saying I looked like a hobo. Lola went into my closet and picked my clothes while Krystal started to put on my makeup.

        In the middle of our makeover session we heard a car pulling into my driveway. We all jumped to the blinds and looked out, it was only Pali and Tui. No Trayce? It was already 3:15 and he still wasn’t here. He was the kind of boy to always show up half an hour earlier. Something must’ve happened. My mind started to wander as I thought of all the possible situations that could’ve happened, what if he got into an accident, what if he was only playing around, what if he found someone else? I turned my music on as Lola and Krystal ran down to get their boys. While they were down there I changed into the outfit Lola picked out for me. It was skin tight I could barely breathe. Although I did look good in my outfit so I didn’t complain. I thought to myself, ‘beauty does hurt.’

        A few minutes later, Tui, Krystal, Pali, and Lola came into my room each with drinks in their hands. Krystal gave me a drink and we all cheered. Lola and the boys went back downstairs to watch t.v. Krystal stayed with me trying to finish my makeup as fast as possible. I heard a buzz from my bed. I checked my phone and it was a text from Trayce.

        “Hey sorry I might come a few minutes late, I was in a long line waiting to pay for my things.”

        Krystal read the message over my shoulder and pushed me into my phone.

        “THINGS???” she yelled with a smile on her face.

        “he probably brought drinks or something.”

        She yelled “what if it’s condoms? Would you let him smash.”

        My face got red, so I looked away.

        “Oh wait, Kawika. How are you two by the way.” She said softly

        I told her everything that happened the night before.

        “Oh girl I knew something was wrong. I had to use EXTRA contour to cover dem puffy eyes. You should’ve told me earlier, we could’ve watched your favorite movie.”

        I turned slowly and looked straight into her eyes. We both know which movie she was talking about.

        We both yelled “SCARY MOVIE THREE, EEEEEEEEEEEEE”

        We started to laugh really loud, then we heard a knock on the door. It was Lola.

        “Hey Trayce just pulled in. You guys coming out?”

        I got up, looked in the mirror and told myself “You look good cuz,” and opened the door.

        As I walked away from the door Krystal came out and yelled “don’t forget to use condoms!”  I smiled back and walked downstairs.

        I open the front door to Trayce wearing his same black and gray hoodie from 10th grade and khakis. Krystal brought Lola to the kitchen and told her everything. I could hear them giggling in the back while I was trying to invite Trayce in.

        A few hours passed and we were all having a good time. Drinking, playing games, and telling jokes. Nothing like a simple friend barbecue. We started to get hungry so I told the boys to go outside and barbecue some steak. Us girls stayed in and started to talk about the things we MIGHT be doing tonight.

        30 minutes passed and the boys were just about done cooking the food. We joined the boys outside and ate on the lawn. The sky started to turn black, and the stars started to shine through the clouds. After we ate it started to drizzle, we didn’t mind it at first but then it started to pour. We ran inside and turned the fireplace on. All 6 of us were cuddled under our own towels in front of the fireplace. We started to talk about senior year and how different college life will be for us. I started to get a little scared being reminded that senior year was in 9 months.

        As the conversation started to die off, my eyes started to get droopy. Trayce puts his arm around me and whispers in my ear if I wanted to go back up into my room. I mumbled yes and stood up. He followed me back to my room and that’s when I heard Lola say “use protection kids.” Trayce and I turned around and started to laugh. Krystal winked and motioned us to go upstairs. I grabbed Trayce’s hand and walked up the stairs.

And this is when I knew that it was time.