#but what I didn't know was the fact that IT'S GONNA BE THE WHOLE THING!? LIKE THE WHOLE KINGDOM!? WOAH

[andy-wm]

Moving out, Moving in

Mission accomplished by sleight of hand?

This is just a collection of thoughts so it's probably full of holes, but it seems to me that Jimin and Jungkook always have a plan in motion.

I guess it's not surprising since they live and work in a fast paced environment in which most of their waking hours are scheduled to the max. It's not just the day to day that's planned down to the wire, their albums and tours are planned years ahead of time and coordinated with military precision.

Their lives run on plans and schedules

Random anecdote: Someone I was friendly with a couple of years ago worked on the BTS Samsung ads as a translator. She described how she was expected to be awake and ready to take calls and edit copy at literally any time of the day or night. Hybe does not sleep. There are staff all over the world, working around the clock. Time is money.

We've all heard these stories, right? So we can imagine the project/event management going on there. The place must run like a Swiss watch.

When you live like that it becomes your normal, so i have no doubt ALL the members are used to planning out their lives.

Also, when you have hardly any free time you use it carefully. If you want to do anything you have to plan and schedule it.

I'm not suggesting they project manage all these things on their own. What's the point of having an endless well of money if you can't hire people to help you make life happen the way you want it to. But I am saying they would know that if they don't plan it, it aint gonna happen.

So, back to Jikook and their plans.

Solo albums

Despite how different their solo album were in terms of musical styles and themes, their promotional materials were astonishingly similar. From colour palettes to photo styling to identical outfits they were far too similar for it to be a coincidence. In fact, if those albums had been people walking down a street they would have been couple dressing without a doubt.

Are You Sure

The travel adventures they squeezed in between deadlines and performances must have been carefully orchestrated too.

Home sweet home

And let's not forget Jungkook finding time to design, plan, and execute the building of the Itaewon house in between everything else.

They plan down to the fine details. And they also play the long game. It's how they're used to operating.

Keep that in mind as i move onto the next thought. This is the interesting bit...

Military service.

It's a reality for every able bodied man in Korea. For a group like BTS it's another thing that would have been carefully considered. Enlistment timing, yes, and every other variable they could choose: locations, divisions, roles etc.

They would have been thinking about their options for MS from the time they were eligible to enlist. Jungkook would have been acutely aware that his tattoos would prevent him from doing anything in security. But that didn't prevent him from inking up his whole arm.

So, we can assume other plans or priorities for MS existed even then.

And those plans included a major decision:

Companion enlistment.

They would have thought carefully about this, having heard all the horror stories of how it can go wrong.

Besides that, despite being dismissed as no biggie by most of the fandom it is extremely rare for idols to enlist as companions.

I did the research. There might be one other occurrence of this. Enlisting at the same time does happen (still rare) but as companions... almost never.

It meant their enlistment was even more newsworthy. They must have known it would highlight their closeness. Was that a conscious choice too?

Maybe.

Everyone, not just jikookers, knows they're inseparable now. It's proof for those who needed it that their relationship is genuine and not fan service.

If they were concerned about how their relationship was perceived i guess thats a bonus. But they coukd have just been more visible in Seoul.

So I'm still asking myself... why?

Why take the chance? Why risk the relationship? So many couples just have to deal with the MS separation, it's simply a fact of life. All the other members had to go through it alone. Jimin and Jungkook could have done it too. They spent months barely seeing each other when they were on solo schedules.

And I'm absolutely not denying they most likely wanted to be together if at all possible. But besides that, what could be gained? Its a long game, remember... so what could be their ultimate goal here?

Where will this lead?

What comes next for them?

Logically the biggest thing for any of the members one they've completed their MS, is their adult life. On a personal level it's the next step.

Nobody is naive enough to think these guys are still going to play boyfriend to the fandom. Not when Hobi our sunshine, who wouldn't even show his armpit on camera, describes the Sweet Dreams lyrics as BEST HOT SEX and then adds 'am I right?' with a smirk because he knows ARMY are all adults too (or that's the part of the fandom he's choosing to engage with).

There's going to be an expectation - or for some ARMYs a resigned acceptance - that the members will actively date, maybe settle down and have a long term partner or a family. But it's only acceptable for those who are going to date or marry a woman. It'd have to be an unknown and discreet or better yet totally secret lover if they're with any other gender.

Which brings us back to Jikook

So what might adult life look like for our lovebirds?

<<content warning: unbridled speculation>>

As a person who believes they're in a long term intimate relationship with plans for a future together, i think they'd want to share a home.

Could they share a home & future?

Imagine the absolute pandemonium that would ensue if Jimin and Jungkook suddenly paired up and set up house together. It would be wild. Possibly the most scandalous thing to ever happen to kpop. The press would roast them, carve them up, and serve the to the nation for dinner. Every conservative right wing mouthpiece would have an opinion on their morality. It would be hideous.

Unless....

Unless they didn't need to suddenly pair up because they were already living together!

Like maybe... as companion enlisted soldiers. And not just any ordinary soldiers but cream of the crop, highly commended, much adored soldiers. Soldiers who have done their nation proud together.

By enlisting together they've already bridged the possibly fatal social chasm they needed to navigate (aka rampant homophobia) if they wanted to move in together.

They ALREADY live together

They've done the hard bit.

It would be no big deal, really to continue to do so. All they'll be doing is relocating to the house in Itaewon.

And my goodness what serendipitous timing... the build was completed while they were snuggled up in their barracks so there's no awkward in between stage. They can just slide right in to their cosy new home and nobody can really say a thing.

What a cunning plan

Now before anyone yells at me of course i have no idea what their plans are. Zero. Nobody does except their trusted circle. This is entirely fabricated. But ya know what?

It's also entirely possible.

💜🏠💛

[archivalofsins]

Personally I hope that no one begins to do a disservice to Haruka's characterization by fixating on one singular thing.

Such as the murder, parental neglect, the possible diagnoses and mental health struggles he had etc. Because fixating on that is no different than what his parents did. Fixating on the label of the issue more than the person with it. Doing this ignores that Haruka as a character was someone committed to changing for the better. So for once in his life he could do something to benefit the people in his life who he cared about and were there for him.

He constantly worked in order to not be a disappointment and died trying his best to repent and at least be useful to one person before he left this world. Regardless of if he was being used or not. He recognized that what he did was wrong. The report illustrates this again and again.

It highlights how he was tormented by his own actions,

Haruka weeps, as he clumsily hides the body, "This child's life was probably much more valuable than my own." "A future much brighter than mine was probably awaiting this child." "Why did I end up like this?" Haruka cried, night after night after that, and repented. He thinks about the future of the child he murdered, and claws at his chest. When he comes to, he was strangling the neck of a second child.

It showcases how he wasn't fully cognizant that he was repeating this pattern with the second child and his music videos display that as well. Going further to imply by not labeling this as a murder that once he recognizes what he was doing he stops himself.

Something alluded to in the series by the fact that Haruka states he's afraid to be near children. A fear more than likely brought about by the fact he did this with no awareness of it.

Haruka's First Voice Drama 4:25s

"A-Amane." What's wrong? "I-I'm not good with them. Children at that age. A-Amane is a good girl but she brings back b-bad memories." Are you alright? You're looking pale, you know?

That he warns people not to get close to him because bad things happen to those that get close to him,

Haruka's First Voice Drama 4:44s

"I shouldn't be too i-involved with people in the first place. Even with all the prisoners they might misunderstand. It's no good." Why is that? Just do as you please. The bonds we share with other people are the very thing that shows our human nature, that's what I believe. "It's something I can't even tell you, prison guard!" Even to me? "You shouldn't get so close to me. Bringing misfortune to people is the only thing I'm naturally good at."

The only thing I'm naturally good at./When he comes to, he was strangling the neck of a second child.

Haruka's First Voice Drama 5:15s

"The more you know about me, I'm sure I'll bring misfortune onto you as well, prison guard." Haruka. "Because! Because... Ah, I'm sorry... for just talking by myself." Continue. "It's happen sometimes. I... I... Even though I try to be normal, everything gets ruined. You, everyone, if you knew me... If you knew everything that I did... I'm gonna be abandoned, that's bound to happen."

Because I'm a selfish killer.

Doing that would ignore that Haruka consistently did things within Milgram to try to mitigate and work on the issues he's constantly faced throughout his life.

Focusing on just one thing ignores everything we saw Haruka's character try to do over the years that he was in Milgram as well as everything that has transpired as Milgram has gone on.

Something that he died continuing to attempt to do.

It ignores the fact that Haruka didn't think his actions or the murder were right. It ignores the fact that he came here admitting fully he was wrong and was told actually no you're wrong about being wrong what you did here was okay.

Haruka Metamorphosis of the Weak 2:30s

"It is. I felt uneasy about it this whole time... Someone as worthless as me having killed someone to gain attention, and a person who surely had more worth and more of a future than me, at that..." ... "But it turns out that I did nothing wrong after all! It wasn't wrong of me to kill her. There was never anything for me to worry about...!" Oh...? "It felt so strange warden...! Warden-san, you forgave me so, so much, it felt like a whole lot of people had accepted me! Ahh... It was the first time I've ever felt something like that!"

To reduce all of that characterization down to mental health struggles, neglect, or one single issue at all is to miss what makes Haruka a great character entirely.

He is all of his flaws and successes.

Yet beyond all that in his dying moments he was someone who was trying his best to do right by someone and prove to the people that gave up on him that he wasn't a failure and he could be useful. He was a character that died crying out for a mother who abandoned him saying,

"I changed……I'm……useful now……Mommy."

Even if the only way he could be costed him his life.

Still none of that negates the fact that he was and will always be a murderer. That he cut a child's life short. All of those things can be true at once.

Because for a character to come off as human for them to be compelling is to hold space for the fact that like people they will be flawed, they will be pitiable, they will be undeniably wrong in some areas and justified in others and they won't exist forever.

People will grow to like or hate them in equal measure and find reasons to justify those feelings just like with any person in real life. Yet at the end of the day beyond like and dislike, hate and ok- There's a complicated characterization there waiting to be appreciated for everything it is not just what's easy to enjoy or dislike about it.

[scuderia-hamilton]

im anti mclaren as a whole and tbh have never liked either mclaren drivers until australia '25. still don't like norris, but piastri is growing on me. my dad whose been watching since the 80s kind of pointed it out that a lot of drivers in piastri's situation would've tried to floor it and then eventually shut the engine off and possibly, throw a hissy fit. but he reversed it, then unlapped himself and not only made a brilliant move on hamilton but managed to get p9. i remember a similar situation to this in miami where he kind of got the same way. a lot of people i see online say that piastri doesn't really have a "championship mentality" and he's just a guy who doesn't say anything on radio until he eventually cracks under pressure, which as a rbr i did really agree with. but the thing is with that kind of mentality piastri has is that he has a lot of grit, and you kind of don't see that in too many drivers these days.

incredibly well-said anon.

the first full season that i've watched was 2023, so Oscar's rookie season and i didn't really understand why everyone hated him, cause he seemed genuinely so nice. i have a soft spot for the people who are disliked, the underdogs, so i immediately started defending him and i've never stopped. i truly think he's one of the best drivers to support, just so unproblematic and genuine.

however, i'm a mclaren and Norris hater to my core, the only reason i tolerate them is because of Oscar. he quickly showed how talented he is, i think his driving style is beautiful, him in Baku last year was one of the best performances i've seen. (before people come for me, keep in my mind i started watching two years ago, so i haven't seen that much, this is simply my opinion. i'm aware that there are better performances, i just haven't seen them). i think the fact that he's so calm and level headed is a huge strength of his.

i don't like this "championship mentality" argument people throw around, because it doesn't really make sense. who decides what a championship mentality is? in my opinion, you have championship mentality when you've won a championship, end of story. all of them are super competitive, they deal with pressure differently and using this against someone to prove something, is just lame in my opinion.

his performance in Australia has impressed a lot of people, his stamina and determination to finish the race was incredible to see. he doesn't say much on the radio, but i think at this point we should know that every driver is different in that aspect. some prefer to talk more, some prefer silence, it's not that deep.

people also like to bring up that he's not a good team player, but he really is. he knows when to stand aside and do what the team says, but also stand up for himself. i think he's gonna be able to show his true potential this year and i urge everyone to keep their eyes on Oscar Piastri, cause he has more things up his sleeve, i'm sure of that.

[barksenji]

Even thought it's pretty common in fanon, it's hard for me to imagine Horror as a hungry beast of some sort. To me, his eating would be clearly disordered, both because of trauma and guilt.

So, of course, I decided to write about it. Feel free to give it a read. TW for ED-like thoughts.

It's Only a Bottle.

Guilt.

Although he had long since grown accustomed to feeling it, it was still foreign. A part of him wanted to believe that none of it was his fault, that he had merely been a victim of circumstance. But another part of him—his more rational self—truly bore the weight of his actions.

And that was why, even though the sight of a full plate of food would have made anyone in his state happy, it only made him nauseous. It had been so long since he had seen "real" food, this almost seemed alien.

The smell of the steaming meat made his stomach growl, yet he hesitated with the fork.

The familiar sensation began clawing at his gut, more painful than hunger. He wanted to take a bite, but at the same time, he would rather die than do so. The aroma was so similar to...

"Not gonna eat?" asked a voice barely louder than a whisper. "You don't seem like the type to waste food."

Horror shot him a sideways glance.

"I'm a little busy right now. Can I ignore you some other time?"

Dust just chuckled and sat beside him. Without paying much attention to Horror, he started eating.

Back then, he had been too caught up between resets and voices to care for food. Reminding himself of its wonders was a pleasure.

So, the clinking of utensils against plates filled the room. Horror didn't even dare cut into the meat—it was disgusting. The raw redness inside, the sound of it tearing under the knife, the thought of putting it in his mouth.

His glowing pupils shifted toward Dust, who seemed completely indifferent to those details. Horror scowled at the mixture of envy and disgust roiling inside him. He didn't notice when Dust met his gaze.

"...Are you vegan?"

"...What?"

Dust pointed at Horror's plate with his fork. "The meat's not gonna bite you, bud."

An awkward silence settled between them.

"What I mean is, uh... I can eat it if you want."

Horror could have handed him the whole plate right then and there. Just looking at it made him sick. But, giving food to this bastard? Hell no.

"Yeah, sure, fatass. If you get any heavier, you'll be going on missions in a mobility scooter."

Dust clutched his chest dramatically, gasping. "I'm not fat! I'm just big boned."

"Oh please. I know three fat guys and you are four of them. If anyone ever gets close to you it's only because they can't break orbit."

"Yeah, well, your mom needs to stop feeding me every time we meet up."

They stared at each other for a few seconds... before bursting into laughter.

Yeah, yeah. They hated each other, or whatever. But there's no better humor than your own.

"But seriously, I can leave you the veggies if that's what you want. Or you could even get something else. That's the one good thing about this pigsty."

Horror's smile vanished as he drummed his fingers anxiously on the table. The thing was, while removing the meat would definitely help, there was something else about the food that didn't sit right with him.

He had held back for years, ignoring the growls of his stomach and the pounding headaches... He hated to admit it, but he had gotten used to that kind of suffering.

It is what it is. He had brought this upon himself—and upon everyone else, too. It wasn't just some small, stupid mistake... No, he had fucked up big time, and fate had let him off easy.

And now he was here, making everything even worse in an attempt to fix the mess he had started, working for a sociopath with a plate full of food in exchange for his hands stained with dust.

"Uh... So?"

It didn't matter what he ate. The textures always melted into something disgusting and made him nauseous. Funny, considering he was a skeleton.

Then there was the fact that he had grown weaker as his body rotted without nourishment. Broken bones were useless in battle. Nightmare would force-feed him, or-more likely-he'd just get rid of him and find someone less troublesome to deal with.

He had to eat something. Gross.

He let out a tense sigh. "Eat it all if you want, starving rat. I'm gonna get ketchup. Just... just that."

Dust raised an eyebrow.

"Ketchup? Nothing else? Not...?"

"I don't have the time or the crayons to explain it to you, buddy."

Before Dust could come up with a witty response, Horror got up and walked away from the table. He'd like to say he was mad at Dust, but—why, exactly? he was pissed at himself.

So he was mad at Dust, because technically, they were the same person. Only, it was easier to be mad at Dust because at least he hadn't reached... that point.

Of course, it was all Queen Undick's fault, right? That he had become this. He couldn't eat because no food in the world could erase the smell of human flesh from his head.

But beneath his anger, there was a steady stream of thoughts, just loud enough to be heard through his rage. Ideas that tore deep into what was left of his mind, even if subconscious.

"You destroyed the Core beyond repair, genius. Your temper tantrum took everyone else down with you."

He shook his head at the fleeting idea. He had done what he had to do. He had been forced to. If they had listened to him and dismantled the Core, this wouldn't have happened. Damn it, his fucking "friends" tried to kill him!

Deep down, he knew the thoughts were true. But a thick layer of denial protected him. It wasn't his fault. He hadn't doomed the people of Snowdin. He hadn't doomed his brother.

No.

He wasn't like Dust.

~~~

Between the insomnia and the nightmares, Horror had no desire to sleep. However, the ceiling wasn't the most exciting sight, especially in the dead of night. So, naturally, he sought entertainment in the depths of his own mind.

The thing is, his head, while deep, was anything but entertaining, and if there was anything more annoying than his thoughts, it was his body.

In the end, he settled for eating nothing. He couldn't deal with the implication—whatever that meant—of eating. He'd sip a bottle of ketchup now and then, that he could handle, but tonight, he didn't even have the guts for that.

Something about the smell of the meat, the grease dripping from it, the way its juices stained the plate—it ruined everything.

But his body disagreed. He was so hungry he wanted to tear his own bones apart. By now, he was sure no one knew hunger like he did—a desperate, overwhelming feeling that clouded your thoughts and possessed you.

He curled into a fetal position, clutching his stomach as his thoughts grew more stern than before. While his body screamed for food, his mind reminded him that he wasn't going to get a single meal.

He had spent years starving. It had become a part of him-his punishment, his penance. The reflection of the sins crawling up his back. Because unlike Dust, he was still a judge, and he had sentenced himself accordingly.

He might be a sadistic bastard, but at least he was fair when it mattered. This was—

The sound of the door opening yanked him from his thoughts. Instinctively, his head snapped toward the entrance.

He relaxed slightly upon recognizing the figure, though he'd rather die than admit it.

"Dust? What are you doing up at this hour?" he asked. Though he probably already knew the answer.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

Dust stepped inside, the dim hallway light barely illuminating his features. Horror noticed the red bottle resting in his hands, and Dust caught his curious glance.

"This?" Dust gestured toward it. "I noticed you didn't eat anything, so I thought... y'know, I'd bring you something."

Horror's expression faltered for a moment. The gesture was almost... nice. But his surprise quickly twisted into a scowl.

"Does it look like I need your pity, fuckface?"

The silence stretched between them. Then Dust rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Keep rolling your eyes—maybe you'll find a brain back there."

"Look, pal... I just don't want you screwing us over, okay? This affects your performance in battle, which affects mine."

Dust walked over to the nightstand next to Horror's bed and placed the ketchup bottle on top.

"I'm not dying because of you."

Horror sneered. Who did this jerk think he was, his boss? He was barely distinguishable from a hobo.

"Dust, if it ever seems like I care, please tell me. I wouldn't want to give the wrong impression."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. Good night, Sans. Hope you dream about me." He scoffed.

And with that, Dust left, shutting the door behind him.

...

"... Damn it, he even pulled my legal name. What an asshole."

Horror stared at the nightstand, biting his nonexistent lip. God, he was hungry.

He hesitated. Drinking it felt like giving in to Dust's demands, and he would never.

Plus, the image of the meat was still too vivid in his mind...

But.

He was hungry.

So, so hungry.

His hands hesitated, but, in the end, he reached out for the bottle. It doesn't matter. Dust wasn't going to find out anyway...

It was only one bottle.

Only a bottle.

[ssweeterthanfiction]

Wait for your love.

content warnings (for the whole series): mentions of drugs and alcohol, age gap, gaslighting, billy being TOXICCCCC, mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts, mental health issues

↳ currently playing ;

No. 1 Party Anthem - 1978

1:56 ——————•———— 3:24

↺       <<         ll          >>    ⋮≡

In September of ‘78, both Daisy Jones & The Six and Y/N announced their tours. And while the ticket sales for Daisy Jones & The Six were high, Y/N’s were much higher.

Y/N: “I didn’t think that my ticket sales were gonna be so well if I’m going to be honest.”

“I fell off the face of the earth for a year. It was shocking enough to see that my album take off the way it did. So the fact that my team had to scramble to make my tour go from an all arena tour to a full stadium tour to keep up with the demand of tickets…that was just…wow.”

“The band was also getting a lot of attention after Aurora released. I didn’t want to show it then but…I was proud. I was proud of them. I was proud that they had the world in their hands…that they had everything they wanted.”

Billy: “I should’ve been happy for her. I should’ve been proud. But all I could feel was this fucking pit in my stomach. This jealousy, this resentment… and it was eating me up from the inside.”

“The thing is, I wasn’t just angry at her. I was angry at myself. Angry at how I couldn’t keep it together. How I couldn’t be the man she needed me to be. I couldn’t even be the man I needed to be for me, you know?”

“So I did what I always did when I felt lost. I turned to the only thing that would drown out the noise in my head…drugs, alcohol, you name it. And the worst part? The band getting caught up in the mess of it all and I didn’t even care. I was spiraling, falling deeper and deeper, and I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. It felt like the only way to cope, to deal with everything crashing around me.”

“And she- she was out there. Selling out stadiums. Living her life, her dreams. She didn’t need me anymore. She was bigger than everything. Bigger than us. And I couldn’t figure out how to hold on to anything. Not even her.”

“I let her go, and she let me go, too. That was the hardest part to swallow.

Y/N: “I didn’t want to let him go.”

"I only let him go because I had to let him go."

“But everyone thought I did."

"They thought I wanted to let him go. They thought that I was this strong, untouchable thing who moved on like it was nothing."

"At first it was true, but that was only because I was angry....but then that anger turned into sadness."

"So, it ended up even being true.”

"I had to pretend I was okay. I had to make myself believe that I was okay. And sure, did I feel better now that I didn't have Billy constantly on me? Yes."

"But I never stopped loving him."

"Not even when I was selling out stadiums. Not even when I was standing in front of thousands of people every night, pretending I was whole without him."

“The truth is…I kept looking for him. Every city, every crowd, I searched for his face. I’d finish a show, and the first thing I’d do when I got back to my hotel room was check the phone.”

“Hoping there’d be a call, a message… something. But it was always nothing.”

“I don’t know what I was expecting. I mean- I just disappeared for a whole year.”

“I guess, I just…wanted to hear his voice.”

She inhales sharply.

"I was standing in front of thousands of people, every night, singing songs about him, and I thought I’d moved on. But how the fuck do you move on from something like that?”

“So I stopped. Not because I wanted to. But because I had to.”

  🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

The crowd was deafening, their cheers shaking the foundation of the stadium as you stood at the edge of the stage. Thousands of voices screamed your name.

The stage lights burned bright, hot against your skin. You could feel it. This moment, this success, this dream you'd built from the ground up.

You should’ve felt alive.

Instead, you felt empty.

You stepped back, pushing damp strands of hair from your face as your heart pounded.

You looked out to the crowd, searching for something—someone.

But he wasn't there.

You knew he wasn't going to be there.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

It's okay.

It's better this way.

  🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Billy: “I got lost, you know? I really fucking got lost after she left. Everything just started spinning out of control, like I was in this dark pit I couldn’t get out of. I thought I could handle it...hell, I thought I had control over everything back then. But once she was gone, that pit just... it swallowed me whole."

"And the worst part? I didn’t even care. At first, anyway. Because, well, I didn’t have to care, right? I was Billy Dunne. I had everything. I had the band, I had the fame, I had people who would have killed to be in my shoes. I could have anyone."

"But it was always her. It was always her that I wanted."

"I remember the shit I used to say to her, though. About how she was replaceable. About how she should be lucky to be with me. I made her feel small, like she should be grateful I even chose her."

"Like she was just something I could throw away if I wasn’t feeling it anymore."

"I used to tell her I could have anyone. That she didn’t mean anything special. That I was the one who was doing her a favor. But it was bullshit. I know that now. It was all to cover up how fucking scared I was that I wasn’t good enough for her. That I wasn’t enough, and if I told her that, if I let her know that she was the best thing that ever happened to me, maybe, just maybe, she’d see it too and leave me anyway."

"I wish I could take it all back. All the things I said. All the ways I treated her. I wish I could go back to when she was still mine, when she was still looking at me with that goddamn hope in her eyes. I wish I could’ve been the person she needed, the person she deserved. But I wasn’t. I was too busy being a fucking mess to see that."

  🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Billy was drunk.

Not the good kind of drunk where everything felt light and floaty.

No, never that kind of drunk.

This was the kind of drunk where nothing made sense anymore.

He sat slumped on the couch, bottle in hand, the laughter of the band echoing around him. They were celebrating another sold-out show, but he wasn’t there. Not really.

He should’ve been proud. Should’ve been reveling in the success of Aurora, in the fact that they were finally on top. But instead, all he could hear was the distant hum of your name. Every magazine cover, every radio interview—your name.

You were everywhere.

But not with him.

He took another chug, the alcohol burning down his throat, numbing the ache that never seemed to go away. His hands trembled slightly as he reached for the newspaper on the table, the bold headline staring back at him.

MIDNIGHT'S REGRETS—SELLS OUT ANOTHER STADIUM. THE BIGGEST TOUR OF THE YEAR?

Billy’s grip tightens around the bottle as he stares at the picture beneath the headline. It’s you. Standing on stage, arms outstretched, the entire world screaming for you. You’re smiling. You look radiant. Untouchable.

You were on top of the world.

Without him.

Billy stares at the ceiling, the room spinning slightly.

He wonders if you ever think about him.

If you ever stare at the ceiling the way he does.

If you ever miss him the way he misses you.

But then he remembers the stadiums. The flashing lights. The roaring crowds chanting your name.

And he convinces himself that you don’t.

🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Y/N: "Other than missing Billy, tour was pretty good for me."

"Sure I was sad, but being up on stage helped. Every night, when I stepped out there, I was surrounded by the kind of love I couldn’t get from anywhere else. The crowd, the music, it was all so loud, so overwhelming. And it made me feel.. seen. It made me feel like I mattered, like I was something more than just a broken heart."

"It’s funny, though. The more I saw myself getting bigger, the more I realized I was just pretending. I was pretending like I didn’t care, like it didn’t hurt."

"But no matter how many stadiums I played, how many people screamed my name…nothing felt right. Nothing felt like it used to. Because there was always this gaping hole where he used to be."

"But honestly....I as much as I wanted to see him...I was afraid to see him just as much..."

"And...I know a lot of people think that I didn't see Billy and the others til the 1979 Grammys...."

"But I actually saw them after my L.A show."

🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Billy hadn’t planned on going. He didn’t even know if he could handle seeing you live, seeing how far you’d come without him. But as the hours ticked by, he felt this strange pull. It felt like fate, or maybe it was just curiosity, but either way, he couldn’t shake the idea.

He wasn’t the only one who felt it.

"Are we really doing this?" Warren asks as they walk toward the venue, his voice laced with uncertainty. "I mean, after everything? Are we ready for that?"

Billy shrugs, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets. "We have the day off. Might as well."

Graham’s gaze is fixed on Billy, his expression unreadable. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

Billy hesitates, but then nods. He doesn’t know if he’s ready. But he knows he has to see you. He has to see how you’ve changed, what you’ve become. If only to prove to himself that you were better off without him.

They all settle in their seats and ehe sound of cheering grows louder as the lights begin to dim.

"Here we go" Eddie says quietly.

🎶 .·:*¨🎶💋🎶¨*:·. 🎶

Y/N: "No one knew I was hurting. Sometimes even i think I didn't know I was hurting."

Karen: "When she came out on stage, she looked so...happy. So free."

“You could tell she was in her element. The way she moved, the way she smiled, it was like she wasn’t the same person anymore. Like she had shed everything, all the pain, all the hurt, and just…blossomed.”

Eddie: "You know what stood out to me? The way she looked at the crowd. The way she was in complete control. She was exactly where she needed to be."

Graham: "Her performance was just- wow. That's the best way to describe it."

"Because only she could go from twirling around stage in a long flowing dress to it being ripped off and revealing a sparkly top and skirt- at least at the time."

Warren: "She was killing it." "Her fans were going crazy, and honest I was too, especially during the 'love is embarrassing' dance break."

"And then when her show was interrupted because her team told her she was nominated for three Grammys? I don't think i've ever heard a crowd get that loud."

Daisy: "She looked so happy when she found out. And honestly it was deserved. She deserved to be happy. Not some pretend happiness shit, she deserved true happiness."

"But then something...shifted on stage."

Y/N: "It happened when I was singing Clean."

"I was as okay as I could be, but for some reason I just- I started to feel. Like really feel."

"I felt like everything from the past year was just crashing down on me."

"I don't know why I did what I did, but I changed a lyric while I was on stage."

"The original lyric was '10 months sober I must admit, just because your clean don't mean you don't miss it'."

"I changed it to '10 months sober I must admit, just because your clean don't mean you don't miss him'."

Warren: "I think we all collectively had a 'did she really say that' moment."

"Billy especially."

Daisy: "I was standing next to Billy, and I could see him visibly tense up."

"And that's not even the worst part of it."

"A little bit after the song ended, we got moved to a VIP tent."

"Guess her team found out we were there."

Y/N: "I didn't think much of it at first."

"It was a small change. A mistake."

"But deep down, I knew it was how I felt."

"And then...."

"I started 'Bejeweled'."

"And the choreography for that had me walking all over the stage."

"That's when I saw them."

"That's when I saw him."

Billy: "I don't even know how to describe that moment. One second, she was just…her. Larger than life, untouchable. And then she looked right at us."

Karen: "Her eyes widened. Just for a second. She didn’t miss a beat. She kept performing, kept singing, but I could tell. That second changed everything."

Eddie: "It was like the world stopped. I swear, she stumbled for half a second. Most people wouldn’t have noticed, but we did."

Daisy: "The way she looked at Billy…that wasn’t just shock. That was years of love, heartbreak, regret, and whatever the hell else they never said to each other."

Warren: "I honestly felt like I shouldn’t be watching. Like it was too personal."

Graham: "And Billy? Jesus. He just stood there, completely frozen. I don't think he even breathed."

Billy: "I...I wasn’t ready for that. I thought I was. I thought, you know, we’d see her, we’d hear her sing, and that would be it. But the second her eyes met mine, I knew it wasn’t over. Not really."

Y/N: "The second I saw him, I forgot the lyrics. My own damn lyrics."

"I covered it up, kept singing, let the crowd fill in, but my hands were shaking. My heart was pounding. Because there he was, standing in the middle of my world, looking at me like I was still his."

"And that? That made the anger come back."

Karen: "She kept going, but there was something different now. She wasn’t just performing anymore. She was feeling it."

Daisy: "I’ve never seen anything like it. It was like she was singing at Billy. Every word, every move, it was all for him, but not in a good way."

Y/N: "I made it through the song. Barely. But my head was spinning. My heart was pounding."

"I thought I was going to run off stage again."

"But I thought, "No. Not again.""

"So I kept going."

She laughs. "Thankfully the next two songs were 'Better Than Revenge' and 'Out Of The Woods', so I was able to take all my anger out."

Warren: "Oh, she went for it. Like, full-throttle, no-holding-back, fuck-you kind of energy."

Eddie: "By the time she hit 'Better Than Revenge,' the whole crowd could feel it. She wasn’t just performing anymore, she was calling him out."

Karen: "The way she stomped across that stage, the way she sneered certain lyrics…Yeah, we all knew exactly who she was thinking about."

Daisy: "He knew too."

Graham: "Billy didn’t say a word. Just stood there, jaw clenched, staring at the stage like he was waiting for her to break. But she didn’t."

Billy: "You want the truth? I wanted to leave. I should have left. But I couldn't. I had to see it, see her. Even if it killed me."

Y/N: "I sang my heart out. I screamed my heart out. Every word, every lyric, I meant them all."

"I twirled, I kicked, I let my hair whip around me. The lights were blinding, the crowd was deafening, but all I could focus on was that one damn spot in the VIP tent."

"He was still watching. Still there."

"So I gave him a show."

Daisy: "She didn’t just perform. She owned that stage. Like she was proving something. Maybe to him, maybe to herself. Maybe both."

Warren: "And then she hit 'Out of the Woods,' and I swear to God, I thought the roof was gonna blow off the place."

Karen: "That song has always been intense, but this? This was something else."

Y/N: "I should’ve been exhausted by the time the song ended. I should’ve felt drained, empty. But I didn’t."

"I felt alive."

"Even when final note of the encore rang out. "

"The crowd was screaming, and I just stood there, panting, my heart hammering in my chest."

"I looked back at the VIP tent."

"I saw Billy."

"And when I looked into his eyes..."

"I knew he was back in my life again."

"Whether I liked it or not."

A/N: HOLYYYYY SHIT ITS FINALLY OUT!!!!

hope u guys enjoyed!!! i promise that GOU is next!

tysm for reading and as always my requests/asks are open (if u guys wanna chat abt this chapter <33)

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

[katerinaaqu]

I see fair enough thanks for filling in the details.

Still makes not much sense based on her lore. As I said most of the time her lore states once or twice men coming after her (very similar to medieval witch hunt scenes in fantasy movies if one thinks about it) but in both those cases she faced the threats without any real problem! Like she looks to me more like Maleficent being attacked in the original animated scene than anything else hehehe

She didn't let anyone get near her. Her tragedy seems to be more based on the dreams she had or the fact that she had to witness a murder (and she didn't seem like a scared girl in that case either. So yes I think Miller added that only for the sakes of making Circe have a reason to turn men into pigs. Because even Argonautica have her already have this...hobby before. As for the essence of goddesses being trapped it seems interesting once more because PJO also uses this and say "oh poor Calypso was trapped and cursed on Ogygia". It seems a pattern here not gonna lie. But again maybe we can speak on the isolation of the goddess or her taking from Colchis as I mentioned to my reply to @venomspecs here to the west while her brother resides to the east. One can use that essence of her isolation and missing her brother without making her bitter of the gods In fact we do not see Circe be bitter against anyone especially the more powerful than her. She mentions Hermes and Poseidon among others and she advises Odysseus how to offer proper sacrifices and all but we do not see her vindictive or bitter because exactly her experiences by n large regardless of the source involve her own agency. The parts that we can pinpoint do not even see that many.

Ironically despite the fact that she does seem so, she also seems just in some things and only loses it in anger or when she is under strong emotional state. But she WAS proper towards others if they needed it. And she DOES help Odysseus and seems genuinely interested in him Her relationship with him is definitely one of power imbalance in Homer. no matter what SHE has the upper hand. Not Odysseus. The romance if one exists is one-sided (as per Odysseus's words also) and yes I feel sad and kinda angry that even though we do bring more and more the aspect of coercion when it comes to other figures of mythology we still remove it when men like Odysseus or even Bellerephontes are concerned or even Peleus. Both Bellerephontes and Peleus suffered accusations of rape by women that tried to seduce them as well. Odysseus was actually coerced and trapped into it as well. Miller seems to totally erase that context for the sake of this story.

Hmm I think I see where you wanna get with it. That Miller's obsession with the whole "I have no control over my fate" thing with Circe somehow showing to the writing that Odysseus did not have a choice at all. Ironically not even the gods have the power to change fate. Miller forgot to mention how ZEUS himself saw the fate and destiny of his son Sarpedon to die and he could not do anything about it. In fact he even suggested to try and he was scolded by Hera. The aspect of fate is connecting ALL beings together. Gods like Apollo or Hermes do not have more control over fate and prophecies than Odysseus had (which also shows how the gods could not free Odysseus till the prophecy was fulfilled) Yes judging from Miller's style especially linked to certain male figures, or even female if one looks at Thetis, that was not intentional. Or maybe I am too biased! Hahahaah! XD

Hahaha glad you liked it! XD Of course that is a surface logic. One can go a bit deeper and wonder that maybe just maybe the reason that she got scared was that she had no idea who the person before her was. To make an analogy with Polyphemus, he knew Odysseus would blind him but he had no idea that Odysseus was a human Likewise one could say that Circe had no idea Odysseus son of Laertes would be a human or that she didn't know till that moment that Odysseus held the knife to her throat that this would be that Odysseus. All she could see was someone resisting her incantation for the first time. That would be terrifying on its own The other one person I know to be able to see through her incantation was Medea in Argonautica and technically Medea was a relative of hers.

Seeing a man that appears perfectly normal, drinking her potion right before her eyes and not transform at her wand and her command might have been a shock to her which of course triggers her fearful reaction (if one wants this as more...logical reason as opposed to the fairytale logic hehehe but I am glad you liked that as a possibility)

You are flattering me too much! I am happy to hear. Well my knowledge is certainly not THAT great and I always try my best with the navigation through the sources as well as some of my personal studies and observations! However I am beyond just honored to hear that! It really means a lot to hear that I am useful to you in one way! ^_^ or that my thoughts mean something so much to you

Hello! I just stumbled upon your blog when I joined The Odyssey community! If it isn't too much a bother to ask, what things, reccuring themes and characterizations do you feel are most important and iconic within The Odyssey?

I am asking this mostly because I really do like your rants and opinions, I find myself agreeing to a lot of what you say, which sorta surprises me because of your clear dislike of Epic, whereas I personally adore Epic: The Musical. (I stayed away from it for a while -I was wary of retellings, adaptions and what-not- until I finally got into it like, a month ago and since, I have been listening non-stop)

So, when I came onto your posts, I was immediately drawn towards your Epic based rants and your translations. Point for point, you hit all the parts I disliked about the musical, albeit, my dislike is obviously much milder, since I still love it. I also completely understoond your stance on source material over so-called retellings since I have felt and still do feel the same about other (unrelated to The Odyssey) medias and fandoms.

If you'd like to talk, I love to hear more of your thoughts! Tell me all of what you loved about The Odyssey. Refresh my knowledge and give me your insight! I'm getting back into reading it, since I read it only once before a long time ago. I have always been more of a casual enjoyer, but now I'm really trying to dip my toes in.

(You don't have to say anything about the musical either, I just really liked your rants on it and the corrections you made on the misinformation rampant in the fandom due to preconceived notions... Sorry, I talk a lot-)

Why hello and I am quite honored you discovered me hahahahaha oh my, my once again being known for my runts huh? Hahaha XD I can see why though! I am really honored you decided to ask me such intriguing question! Hahaha how dare you! You know I am a yapper about this book! Hehehe!

I would say one reoccurring theme in the Odyssey that I rarely ever see in adaptations is the theme of seeking of knowledge. I find it so disappointing how it is literally one of the main themes of the Odyssey and yet I rarely ever see it happening. It is literally at the first lyrics of the poem:

πολλῶν δ᾽ ἀνθρώπων ἴδεν ἄστεα καὶ νόον ἔγνω

He saw many cities of men and gained knowledge from them

(Translation by me)

Odysseus was not just experiencing his homecoming. It was a cognitive trip; a trip where he learnt things and he achieved things on his way.

He didn't stop at the cave of Cyclops because he had nothing else to do or no food to go by. It is clearly stated in the Odyssey that the island of the Cyclops was extremely fertile and had many wild goats and other animals they could hunt and feed on. Odysseus entered the cave because he wanted to meet the people that lived there. He ignored the signs that showed the residents were non-human because he wanted to give a chance to whoever lived in that cave to show that they were more than what met the eye.

He met the land of Aeolia next. His stay in that land for one month was share knowledge with Aeolus. He told them his story, they also told him their own experiences, thus Odysseus knows about how Aeolus arranged the marriage of his children and all

He sent scouts to the land of the Laestrigonians and their city, he was though more prudent this time and assured a safe passage even if his comrades didn't follow his prudent stance this is what costed them their lives but one ship.

He shared knowledge with Circe, not only on the part of his trip that he needed to move on but also gained knowledge from her. One example is the mention of a cunning knot he learnt from her which he used later in his adventures. Small details like that.

He gained knowledge from Tiresias not only on how to break his curse but also on what happened the years he was away from his home.

He had no reason to hear the sirens! The sirens is exactly the manifestation of his trip being of cognitive nature. He wanted to hear them. He NEEDED the knowledge they provided! Removing that concept from his trip in any shape or form shows to me someone who does not understand the Odyssey (I know it is harsh to say but I feel like there is one part of the Odyssey that is so iconic like the 12 axes challenge and that is the sirens passage)

Odysseus learns in every part of his trip and uses that knowledge to future adventures. But what I also fail to see is how CONSCIOUS this knowledge-gain is. Of course he learns things accidentally too but most part of it is knowledge he chooses to acquire for himself.

Another theme that I do not see much is theme of fate and destiny. Odysseus is not some idiot who doxxed himself as most people use the overused joke. In fact his trip is so thick of plot that one way or another something would have happened to cause this wandering.

Troy was destined to stand 10 years (from the Iliad),

Odysseus was destined to go home in 20 (hence he needed extra persuasion to go to the war).

Polyphemus was prophesized before that he would have been blinded by a man named Odysseus (he just didn't know who that Odysseus would be)

but we also know that Odysseus was destined to meet Circe (Circe mentions how Hermes had warned her for the prophesized man coming to her isle. She probably was unaware on the identity of the man or how that man would arrive at her doors)

Odysseus was also cursed by Polyphemus that he would either never return or return alone without his companions and find misery at his home

The true line between fate and destiny and human will is very thin in greek mythology. However we also see that Odysseus tries repeatedly to change fate even if it is inevitable (see my analysis here). It is this human part of his that is so relatable! Also the fact that oftentimes in the joke people forget that Odysseus experienced the absolute horror in the cave of Polyphemus for days. Exhaustion and anger took the best of him as well as of course his ego being inflated that he had managed to take down such a powerful opponent. And of course the reoccurring misunderstanding that Odysseus never cared for anyone else but as I have also analyzed there that is simply not true. It is even stated in the Odyssey:

πολλὰ δ᾽ ὅ γ᾽ ἐν πόντῳ πάθεν ἄλγεα ὃν κατὰ θυμόν, ἀρνύμενος ἥν τε ψυχὴν καὶ νόστον ἑταίρων.

He suffered many torments in his heart out at the sea, seeking to win his own life/soul and the return of his companions

(Translation by me)

The whole trip was always about Odysseus wishing to return them all safely home. Which is also part of his tragedy and shows why he went in so many lengths to save them etc.

I am honored that someone that likes this piece of media can still understand and even liking some of these opinions. I understand that for someone that genuinely like it might be a bit annoying or tiring but yeah I guess I love the original way too much! Hahaha! And okay I understand the songs are really catchy so it can be getting into someone's head easily but I am really delighted to hear you say that! And of course to be fair there are many things one can like about the musical for example the talent of the people related to it and their passion

However ironically that was the source of my dislike as well hehe I know it is paradoxical but when I see someone with obvious knowledge of the sources and passion for something, twist the original material to THAT degree...dunno I feel it even harder. I mean of course one does not expect it to be accurate but when I hear that and yet someone claim to adapt material I would expect of course these small details changing here and there for example adding dialogs with Poseidon (that is like a must in every adaptation minus the 1968 version I noticed...like Poseidon never interacted with Odysseus but that is something every adaptation adds!) or extra scenes with Hermes or whatever or even some of the details added. The problem is that the whole plot was twisted beyond repair, basic parts of the plot that made the plot unique and beloved were thrown out the window And BECAUSE I recognize the talent of the people involved AND seeing they had the chance as they did to make not only the Odyssey available to public but also influence more people to see it and they could do it by staying respectful to the material and yet they chose not to which increased as I said my disappointment. I was also very warm when I watched the first two sagas even if they were also inaccurate because they had exactly what I describe. So yes of course I absolutely understand why people would like it. Dang I absolutely do at least on the artistic department but the way as you brilliantly stated not only the plot but also the fandom of it has been at times it really got to me more than many things

So it is really a good change to see more people see this point of view too and I respect the fact that some people like it and yet do try to see the other view too. You are very kind for saying that!

Hahahaha dude you are asking a dangerous question! Hahahaha! I can talk about it forever! Hahaha Honestly what is there to me not to love about the Odyssey? For starters the fact that it is an ancient Greek poem, something linked to my country and my history and being loved in such a great degree and continue to inspire even almost 3000 years later, fills me with so much pride! Makes me inspired to do something similar! Like not caring if I will be a celebrity but someone see my work and admire it even if they do not know who I am...someone that can see this and continue to speak on it for generations to come... Of course many writers do the same as well like classical literature and all but for the specific one I feel so much pride!

The Odyssey arguably has everything! Romance, friendship and companionship, horror and peace, war and bloodshed and also tenderness of a family, drama and comedy, adventure and domestic life even daresay sci-fi details with the Phaeakes island that have literal robotic dogs created by Hephaestus for them. Odysseus is one of the most complicated personas in all literature history and earned that position in the hall of fame. Arguably even ancient Greeks and Romans could not handle the guy with so many different opinions that paint him from hero till villain. The same guy that held back from the battle till the proper moment and then abandoned his last escape to save Diomedes in the Iliad is now sailing to the seas. The same man that took Ismarus and slay the men and took women of it as his property and mentioning it as casually as he could was also crying his eyes out in guilt upon hearing a song about Troy and the way the city fell. The same guy that tenderly held his son and cried like a baby holding him and kissing him was also the same person that slaughtered 108 men in his palace and executed their allies in less than a day. The same guy who reigned the kingdom like a father; who embraced and kissed his slaves like equals, was also undoubtedly a strong leader and king who defended his authority with iron hand and he was ready to even slay his own brother-in-law when he defied him. The same man that held back from volunteering to face Hector in the Iliad and made sure he would be the last to be chosen, in the Odyssey he armed himself ready to face an immortal 6-headed monster all by himself. The man known for his mind and cunning and indirect ways is also known for being one of the greatest warriors known. Arguably even his age being one of the oldest kings in the Iliad and yet as Antilochus said he was also one of the fastest and more agile and one of the best in spear. The most pious and religious people to the gods, favored by one of the greatest goddesses of all, Athena, and loved by Zeus was also one of those who suffered a great deal from his hubris.

This man is the absolute perfection of contradictions in one body and the way he is portrayed by Homer especially in the Odyssey where he is the protagonist is a masterpiece of emotions. Arguably Odysseus is also one of the earliest male rape victims in literature for he was not just attempted to be raped and seduced but he had to literally sell his body once to Circe and then he was being forced by Calypso. A warrior that was absolutely powerless before the gods

The Odyssey is also a great allegory of the spread of Greeks to the Mediterranean sea before the official set of colonies and the way it provides us information on how they moved around. It is also an allegory on the dangers humans faced out in the sea, how they struggled and how the families left behind also struggled with the consequences. How the power of nature can bend someone but also how human with seer will can do incredible things Odysseus survived the impossible not because he had gods as parents or hardly any help from the gods itself with the exception of Leucothea in the last adventure and of course finally Athena to the final stage. Odysseus survived because of his seer will and his need to return home. Odysseus can be any one of us; a person who struggles every day; everything can hold us down and we might have no help or very little help from others but we must keep pushing through. The Odyssey also shows us the importance of companionship and family bonds, loyalty and trust. Odysseus didn't slay the suitors because he was a mary-sue all-powerful person. He had help from three loyal slaves (Euryclea, Eumaeus and Philoetius) and his son Telemachus. He didn't do it alone. He used the help of those who believed in him and quite frankly he faced a much less bad situation at his palace because of his wife's seer will and loyalty to not abandon the throne of Ithaca to anyone till he arrived.

The Odyssey is also about how there are many forms of strength. Penelope was not less strong than Odysseus because she didn't kill anyone with a sword. She was strong for keeping more than 100 men and several parts of the household that were betraying them with her seer will and mind. Telemachus was both a fighter and someone who tried to see the best in people and that saved his life (when he spared Theoklymenos at his return from his trip. Theoklymenos was a man who had committed murder. Telemachus chose to give him a chance and in return he received the prophecy of Theoklymenos that the suitors were planning an ambush) Odysseus also learnt forgiveness in one way when he was ready to start another bloodshed by the end of the Odyssey when the families of the suitors saught revenge but Athena stopped it, making sure both sides stopped the never-ending circle of violence. Nausicaa is an example of loving someone and yet you must respect their wishes and let them go. Telemachus is an example of self-discovery... The very realistic scenario of someone not recognizing the place they left for so long and people not recognizing you back. That you have to work yourself through the very same place you left behind! Even Telemachus as a character not even knowing what to believe anymore about the father he never met, not knowing whom to listen and whom not to etc. like a realistic scenario of absent veteran fathers who disappeared a long time ago...

Honestly...what ISN'T the Odyssey?! It is in my opinion one of the most complete pieces of literature that opens the way in many things! I am really happy you shall decide to look at it more attentively and I hope you shall enjoy it because honestly it's worth it.

(My friend I do not mind at all speaking about it. I am just not a fan so I am just asking the understanding of anyone that I am not gonna be very positive about what I mention and say. However I shall try not to be hater with no reason or logic, that I can promise to try)

[torgawl]

sorry i can't take this chapter seriously the flying head took me out whekshej

[bellysoupset]

i'm not even going to bother with the tags, since I'm pretty sure I'll go over lol. I have soo many questions. As always, your worldbuilding is extraordinary! Kieran is fishing out for trouble asking around for dirt on Isaiah, I wonder if he has a real grip on how powerful Zaya is. So far I get the feeling he thinks Isaiah is playing at being Executor and that he doesn't have the Wolfson's reach, but I think he's failing to see how much the other packs want Isaiah in their circles. Dominick seems to have a clearer sight, but oh my God, the whole talk about the Blackwells and arranged marriages. I'm so glad you brought this into the fold, I've been dying to understand both the family and how marriages work when you have such complexes power dynamics. For example, Dom is an off-marriage human bastard, right? But does he still count as his father's son like Arnie does, in the pack? If not, its because of being human or because he's an extramarital baby? If he's to marry with a Blackwell human, would that change anything on his power status? Because he seems to be going after money and power, but the Blackwells don't have money, do they? I actually am so hyped to see Dominick interacting with Melissa, she's on my shit list ever since being mean to Matt (yeah yeah she's been groomed by her mom, but I hold grudges, she's too old to be acting like a mean girl) and I'm team let Dominick explore this family, because I'm nasty like that :) Aaaand I love that Kieran was a smidge weirded out but not really judgmental! I think your other OCs would be throwing fits at the idea of Dominick wanting to marry into power/money and Kier's only gripe was that Dom could get himself killed like this. I know he's not a bad guy, but its so so refreshing to see how different his perspective is on things. I wonder if Dom would pursue Seline, given she's the witch in Isaiah's pack, she's a powerhouse, but no resources. Isaiah is trying to patch over Matt and the Blackwells? Ha that's gonna go down well. I'm very interested to see what's gonna win, Matt's loving nature and the fact he misses his sisters, which would make him grateful and understanding of Isaiah's meddling... OR, the fact Zaya is pushing him out of his pack without realizing. Because Matt has essentially been replaced by Rip as the trainee, Isaiah won't open up to him and then you add Isaiah trying to push him into Blackwell's arms, you see how nasty it can look in Matt's eyes. Hmmmmm I wonder. Also assuming Seline is none the wiser about Isaiah doing this. In fact, Matt and Sel are none the wiser to a lot of politics happening, from Isaiah's pull as executor, to whatever is happening with Shawn, to Zaya meddling with the Blackwells, his covet claim of the apartment building, his rivalry with Kieran.... Isaiah is extremely smart and powerful, but sir, I think you gotta actually talk with your pack about these things if its to be a pack, no? Though I might be wrong? His father certainly was the closed up type too, so maybe Isaiah is mirroring a little... How does Hex run his? Or Grayson? Urgh, I wish I could have an anthology of vignettes of just all the different packs and how they work, this is so damn interesting. ANd and and okay, the WHUMP! I love a good brotp and a brotp between these toxic little beans?? I'm THRIVING. Dom's condition is getting worse, does anyone know about this but Kieran? Hheheheeh I'm sure that's ALSO gonna go down so well with the Blackwells, Melissa sure seems like the understanding and loving kind (contains sarcasm). It makes me wish they end up as a real romance, because how funny that would be when they're such a bad match on paper. I loved how Dom's secretary gives Kier a free pass to whatever and how Dominick didn't hesitate to call him and to cuddle up to him. He might've been playing tough on the couch, but he was sooo pathetic the minute Kieran got there at night, delicious food

The Sound of a Headache

Kieran visits an old friend, talks about pack machinations and terrible plans and gets called in for a vomiting emergency.

Kieran waited in that brand new office smelling of money for a good hour before Dominick finally showed up.

He got a satisfying yelp of surprise for his trouble and the funniest shocked look.

"Are you hellbent on giving me a heart attack?" Dominick asked. He wore a perfectly fit gray suit and a pink shirt. Like he just walked off a modeling mollo. "How did you get in?"

"Climbed up to the 12th floor through the window like a good stuntman," Kieran said with an eye roll and a grin. "Gerlinde let me in."

Dominick threw a disturbed look through the glass wall towards the table with his young, small secretary with a messy curly bun. She had the most innocent look and the most sly smile, when she caught his eye.

"Not like she is wrong to do it," Kieran reminded him with an amused huff.

Dominick let out a dramatic sight than abandoned his stylishly slanted table in front of the aquarium and sat down on the opposite couch to Kieran. "So what's up?"

Kieran look at his wrist without a watch with grin. "Mr. CEO. Do I have a time limit for my visit? Should I write myself into your calander to get included?"

"You have no gigs for this week," Dominick guessed dryly.

"We can't all be working our butts off all the time."

"I'm trying to win over the council for the next chairman vote, thank you." His eyes sparkled with excitement. "Just finished the funding for the new project. It's gonna be a hit, I'm telling you."

Kieran leaned back in the seat, arms propped on top. "As your most successful stuntman worker, I hope it has a lot of action."

Dominick returned his grin. "Of course. Scenes perfect just for you and your expertise." He rubbed at his face, copying Kieran's position and leaning back a little as well.

Kieran eyed him critically, notcing the pallor and the dark circles, despite the gell little waves of light cinnamon hair. "Dude, how many all nighters did you pull this time? Isn't the point of being a CEO that you have people to assign work to?"

"You have to give the right kind of work to the right person. I don't think you are much into team effort, Kier."

"Oh my god, you sound so boss-like right now," Kieran teased. But it was nice seeing Dominick in his element, even if it was work Kieran would not in million years, choose for himself.

"What about you? Your apartment project going well?"

Kieran huffed. "It's a bit slower than I imagined. You got any extra new info on Isaiah for me?"

Dominick raised an eyebrow. "I found out about the building ownership for you, didn't I? No upper hand from that?"

"I would have to use it against his pack. They don't know," Kieran grimaced, "and I don't want to hurt them."

"That's tricky, then, if you don't want anyone hurt," Dominick sounded smug instead of sympathetic, as if that proved Kieran had morals that won over his more sinister aspirations. "I'm glad though. I don't want to make an enemy out of Isaiah Wolfson."

"Oh? How did he get to you?"

"His Executioner...position or whatever it is? His influence is 10 times the size of what it was last year. If anything, I want him on my side, when I'm dealing with wolves."

Kieran stuck out his tongue at him. "Traitor."

"Wolf packs are the best investors," Dominick said with a shrug. "I got the second breath for this company because of shareholders from wolf packs. They are the richest families with their territories turning to estates and buildings they own."

"Still looking for stashes of gold?"

"All the big names have it. Though the middle sized ones are more willing to spend it to get a hold of this city." Dominick rubbed his hands together, eyes glinting. "I got a deal from the Blackwells for the next movie."

"Blackwells...Margaret Blackwell?"

"Yep. An ambitious witch. Kicked out her husband and took over the pack and it's growing, man."

"I don't get how that woman works. She has more human children than wolves...Matthew is cast out, and only her youngest daughter is a witchling."

"Precisely," Dominick said, leaning forward, fingers connecting at the tips. "A wolf pack of their size and money would never let me near their witches. But so many human daughters?"

"Jesus, man, you sound like you want to marry one."

When Dominick said nothing, smile still on, Kieran sat up straight at once. "Wait, really?"

"So what? I need someone wealthy and with a connection to an old wolf family that could invest in my bussiness? Ideal."

"You are so romantic," Kieran said dryly.

They didn't talk about Dominick's desperate yearning for a wolf community connection. They were both humans, but as much Kieran wanted out of the loop and his family circles, that much Dominick wanted in.

Dominick's mother was a human lover of a wolf with a high position in a middle sized pack (which was rich as hell, just not as established). His father had bussiness aspirations and needed humans for it, falling in love with his secretary.

Scandalous connection as it was, since humans were off limits to a powerful wolf. His human mother was considered a waste and his human son only worth in so far he could carry a shadow wolf gene. If a wolf ever wanted him in the pack, which no one did.

That Dominick had an insane bussiness instinct and could turn a dying movie production company into a leading and prospering one was a suprise wolves were too short-sighted to expect.

But it made Dominick known between the packs, which is also how Kieran got to meet and befriend him. He became a sort of informator between humans and wolves, with connections to some of the bigger names as his investors.

Since wolves were great at owning and keeping something, but not in multiplying and managing their money - which made them interested in humans who could. Preferably inside their packs.

Kieran scoffed at the image. "So what's the big plan?"

"Nothing much. I was at a few dinners with the Blackwells. Margaret's daughters are spirited to say the least. And it also created an opportunity with Isaiah."

"Huh?"

"He was here just a week ago—he asked me if I could arrange a meeting between the sisters at and his pack. Maybe like a premiere cinema stream? I'm assuming he wants their brother to meet with them outside their mother's reach."

"And how is that gonna help you win Margaret over?"

"I'm not sure who is going to have more pull—Isaiah or her. His name and rep mean more but she has money. But imagine I would help them get reconciled. I would have both." He looked at Kieran. "You are friends with him, right? Isaiah and Matt and the sisters in one pocket..."

Kieran frowned, crossing his arms on his chest. "That sounds risky, man."

"Shouldn't you be the one most down with it?"

"I risk myself, that's different." And he didn't think wolf-human family problems were entirely in Dominick's capacity to understand. Kieran knew no specifics of the Matthew case, but he had a few ideas and none of them could be solved over a movie.

"Look, the oldest one, Melissa, is a great catch. Doctor, knows her way around wolves, fitting background-"

"Anyone told you we are not in middle ages and that's not how marriage works anymore?"

"Depends on where," Dominick shot back, rubbing at his temples. His parents couldn't be together exactly for the arrangement reasons. Maybe that's why he didn't believe in love playing any part in the resulting happiness.

"I don't like this plan," Kieran said, straightforward as he was used to. "It's risky and you have no idea what you are getting into. You don't know why he got kicked out and if his sisters want him back at all."

Dominick huffed in disappointment, deflating like a baloon. "You are no fun."

Also likely the only one you told, Kieran realized.

"Hey, what about this. Let's go camping. Two weeks, just fresh air and a lake and the two of us. You will get some distance from these ideas and well-earned rest and everything will look fresh and different."

Dominick shook his head, then stopped himself with a minuscule wince. "You don't know anything about business. I can't just pack and up leave whenever anymore."

"You are exactly the one who can," Kieran said, giving Dominick a meaningful look. You shouldn't be taking unnecessary risks. Please think about yourself. He wanted to say it so bad, but didn't dare to. It was a touchy topic.

"Alright, I'll be going then. Don't let me stop you from making money." Kieran got to his feet.

Dominick still looked disappointed by the reaction, but he knew better than to argue, getting up to hug Kieran goodbye. "See you later, fall guy. Say hi to Alessia for me."

...

Kieran didn't know why he had such a bad feeling today. Bad enough to check on Dominick and see for himself. But there was nothing more he could do, was there? He could offer his support, distraction and a listening ear, but it wasn't like he could order him to sit and rest. Especially since Kieran would never follow such advice.

Here was to hoping Dominick would tell him if he actually needed something.

That evening around 10 pm he got a sudden call from Dominick though. Kieran called him right back, but when Dominick, didn't pick up, he called Gerlinde instead. The girl was immensely useful, immediately sending him Dominick's schedule for the day and assuring him the CEO was still at the firm.

Kieran took his motorcycle and headed straight there.

The building was dark, some of its glamour disappearing with the lights and the buzz of people in the offices. "Dominick? Hello?"

He looked through the place, the kitchen and the terrace, then settled on just dialing his number and orient himself by the ringing.

It led back to Dominick's office. Another all-nighter? Kieran was worried enough that even an accident call would be a relief.

He found the phone twitching on the desk like a dying fish. The lights were also off, the hush from the aquarium filter filling the room.

"Dom?"

There was a small whimper that had the hair standing up on his neck. Kieran circled the giant desk.

Dominick was on the floor, sitting next to the cupboard, arms wrapped around his knees and hunched over, which was a strange position for such a tall man. He was shaking.

Kieran kneeled beside him, heart somewhere in his throat. "Dominick? Hey, buddy, what's wrong?"

His head jerked up towards the voice, his eyes red and swollen. "Kier?"

"Yeah, it's me." Kieran put a hand on his shoulder, looking him over, though he had an idea. "Your head?"

Dominick blinked at him, then closed his eyes with a pained grimace, groaning. "Started...started as static in my ears...then the headache-now I can't see straight, Kier..." He sounded scared, small, all the confidence from just that lunch gone.

"You are such an idiot, you know that? All-nighters for a big project, what did you think would happen?" Kieran whisper-yelled, squeezing his shoulder. "I'll drive you home, come on."

"C-can't move. Everything is twirling and the lights- and-and-" Dominick lifted a hand towards Kieran so his friend could see. His hand was twitching, down from his elbow to the last two fingers, in 2 second intervals.

"Christ," Kieran cursed under his breath. "Hospital?"

"Apparently, it's normal," Dominick said, sounding like he was on the verge of tears. "Can happen now during an a-attack."

"Shhhh." Kieran shifted to sit next to him, pulling him into a hug. Dominick was shaking in his grip, heartbreaking little whimpers coming from where he pressed his face against Kieran's chest.

It started with the headaches. Those were normal for most of his teenage years. But the dizziness, lights and static sounds, the way faces blurred together and he couldn't catch his balance...that got a lot worse in the last years.

And all because of a chip in his brain from an injury, Dominick had when he was a child.

Kieran held him diligently, wishing there was a medication or magical cure he could give him at times like this. When he felt Dominick's head jerk up with a burp, he patted his arm gently. "Nausous, buddy?"

"I hate my fucking brain so much," Dominick said, voice still weak and whiny.

Kieran slowly untangled himself from him to locate a trash can filled with papers and position it into Dominick's lap. "Here. Do you want some water?"

Dominick shook his head. Tears were streaming down his face, more from the pain and disorientation than distress, or so Kieran hoped. He looked through the cabinet and desk for paper towels and a water bottle, pressing it against Dominick's temple.

The other man was left drooling over the trashcan, blinking and squeezing his eyes shut. His chest heaved with a retch.

Kieran rubbed wide circles on his back, biting his lip in worry.

The next retch still caught them both by suprise by how sudden and violent it was. Dominick's eyes were closed as he heaved, so Kieran held the trashcan under his chin, catching a small mouthful of water. The next belch brought up a bigger wave though, splashing against the paper, on the edge and Kieran's hand.

Proud for being used to more gruesome scenes than some puke on his hand, Kieran held his breath before wiping off his hand and then Dominick's chin. He took a fresh towel for the mess of tears and snot on his cheeks.

"W-wanna go home, Kier," Dominick moaned, wrapping both hands around himself with a shiver as if he was cold.

"I'll get you home, buddy, don't worry." Kieran stripped Dominick off the suit jacket. His eyes got more used to the dark by now, so it was easier to gather Dom's bag and other things, put his car keys into his pocket and open all the doors for them to walk through. He even called the elevator in advance.

"You know how risky it is to do such projects," Kieran said as he supported most of Dominick's weight—he was taller than him by a head—towards the elevators. "Stress, no sleep. You have to be more sparing with yourself."

"C-can't exactly finish things like that," Dominick said, shutting his eyes against the light in the brightly lit elevator. He sagged in Kieran's grip, pressing his forehead into the crook of his neck to block out the light.

"I'll force Gerlinde to make to free every half a month for camping with me," Kieran threatened, holding him tighter around the waist. It was a delicate balance since he wasn't sure if the pressure wouldn't set Dominick into vomiting.

Dominick's left hand was twitching at his side. Kieran was trying very hard not to stare at it.

They finally reached the underground floor. The ding of the opening door had Dominick spasming in Kieran's hold, leaning over to vomit a giant watery wave on the floor. There were pieces of rice floating in it.

Kieran grimaced, helping Dominick step over the mess. He propped him up against the wall, patting his cheek. "Hey, you with me? Dom?"

"Hmm?" Dominick squinted at him, having to catch himself on Kieran's arms to not fall.

"I'm gonna get the car. Can you stay here for a minute?"

Dominick gave an unsure nod, then leaned down with his chin on Kieran's shoulder with a sigh, that morphed into a burp. His eyes were closed, his left hand still twitching.

"Buddy..." Kieran protested gently, rubbing his back from behind.

"Thanksss..thanks for coming."

Kieran rolled his eyes, not even acknowledging the apology. That was a given. "You are alright. Just leave it to me."

[just-another-product-of-today]

.

[ratherchili]

𖹭 cw: fluff, suggestive, mdni

You really threw a wrench in mean bf sukuna's plans when you totally forgot about Valentine's day. You told him from the start that you didn't care about stuff like that, but he thought you were just playing the Cool Girl™. Realistically, all girls care about that shit. It's ingrained in their fluffy, pink, little brains, right? You're going to be mad as hell when he tricks you into believing he's completely ignored your first Valentine's day together.

That works just fine for mean bf sukuna, who just so happens to think you're super hot when you're mad. So, he ignores you all day while he shops. He smirks to himself as he thinks about how you must be scowling at your phone screen, waiting for a text that never comes. He outright laughs when he imagines the shock on your face when you see what he has planned for you. Maybe you'll do that thing where you bang your fists on his chest while he pulls your body against his. Maybe your eyes will be shiny with tears when you look up at him and say, "I thought you forgot!"

Turns out he's the one scowling at the screen when the whole day passes without a peep from you until you text him "picking me up?" Just before your shift ends.

"Yeah, I guess," he grumbles as he types it out. What kind of passive aggressive, feminine sorcery is this anyway?

His scowl only deepens as he listens to you chatter on about your busy day the whole ride home. You don't seem angry at all. In fact, you plop down next to him on the couch, as usual, practically sitting on top of him as you giggle at the TV and dig into your dinner. You don't even notice that he hasn't touched his own food. He's actually getting pissed in a serious way. And he looks it, even more so than usual, you notice. You fucking finally notice. "What's your problem?" You ask around a mouthful of your favorite takeout.

"Tch, nothing," he says, crossing his arms and looking away. Is he... is he really pouting?

"If you say so," you shrug. You know better than to press him too much, unless you want him angrier and even less prone to discussion. "I'm gonna get changed," you say as you stand to head towards the bedroom.

"No!" He says, just a little too loud.

"Why not?" You ask narrowing your eyes at him over your shoulder.

He would have physically stopped you, but you're a little too small and a little too quick not to slip through his grasping fingers.

"What's all this?" You ask, standing in your bedroom doorway staring at the array of pink and red bags, flowers, your favorite candies and snacks.

mean bf sukuna winces at the sight of the veritable mountain of gifts he had spent the day heaping on the linens. He may have gotten a little carried away, but he kept thinking of things. That bag you pointed out at the mall. And the necklace. And the sunglasses. Then he remembered you said you wanted to go to that concert, so he got tucked the tickets into your card. Then he thought you'd want to wear those shoes you pointed out.

"Oh, my god," you say in a small voice. "It's Valentine's day. I totally forgot."

You turn to him, but the apology that was on your lips dies in a fit of laughter when you see his face is as red as the gift wrap.

"You'll pay for that, brat," he growls as he tosses you right on top of the pile, fully intent on getting his money's worth out of you.

[caluupin]

[DGS/TGAA 2 SPOILERS]

⚠️Work in progress, this will be the last doodle page then I'LL POST THEM ALL!!!!!!

[louve-garoue]

Ok, so this is gonna sound mean (sorry in advance for that), but I promise I meant it in the most factual, non-judgemental way possible ! But like, Higuchimon, your entire reply pisses me off.

So like I'm the person who sent the ask in the first place, and like I said I haven't watched GX yet so I only know what other people have talken about... But also like, first of if "the words used which are meant for romantic love" are actually "aishiteiru" I'm gonna lose it. Not even because I'm mad at you or anything (if you didn't kbow you didn't know) but because I've seen a lot of people saying that that word is only meant for romantic love when no ?? Here's a link where you can find a lot of post with exemple of "aishiteiru" being use in the context of familial love btw :

https://www.tumblr.com/kaizokuou-ni-naru/tagged/love%20words

Those post also explain that the word indeed not often use and mean the love expressed carry great weight. And again if the word you were talking about is indeed "aishiteiru" and you genuinally thought it was only ever used in a romantic way, it's not your fault. But also I hope you understand how frustrating it is to see a deeply amatonormative misconception (here the assumption that a sentence used to tell your deep meaningful love to someone must only apply to romantic love) being used to invalidate an ace/aro reading of a story, and that not even three hours after it was posted. Actually scratch it is not only incredibly frustrating but also deeply upsetting.

And even if Judai did mean it in a romantic way, that doesn't make op analysis any weaker, I would say it actually strenghten it actually. Because that promise of love, especially the part of loving ''Only Yubel'', would be in part what shaped Yubel monogamous view of love which lead to a lot of problems ! This promise was not a good thing and maybe it might have come from pressure because Yubel did a great sacrifice for Judai and he felt he had to offer them their romantic affection because that's how it works right ? I mean imagine sacrificing your humanity for a guy and then being friendzoned by him ahah. Beside Judai do love Yubel with all his heart so like of course his love is romantic right ? Right ? This can be another example of amatonormativity fucking shit up.

But you didn't think of that, and I'm gonna be honest here, reading your post felt so dismissive. You didn't even try to engage with the possibility of Jaden's story having an ace subtext, you just talked about why you thought it wasn't the case. I mean like

"It can be interpreted that Juudai's non-interest in love is because he's already in love"

Good for you I guess ? If that's how you see it then go ahead. But that does not invalidate Op analysis in any way or form. And the fact that you then follow-up with even more elements on why you think contrafict Op analysis, again makes the whole thing sound very dismissive of Op interpretation. Reading it made me feel like you thought your interpretation was better and Op's was not legitimate at all. Which is just not true. Plus :

"Yubel also states, when they fuse, that they can feel Juudai's love & power."

Have you not read the part were Op explained that Jaden still loved his friends deeply, just not in a way that could ever fit a strict monogmous relationship ? Because again you are equating Love with Romantic Love here. Oh and one last thing that sound dismissive :

"The real ignored aroace is Asuka."

Okay ? We weren't talking about ignored aroace character though ? We were talking about aroace subtext in the narrative of GX season 3. Asuka and Judai can be aroace together literrally nothing is stoping that. And who would be more likely to be aroace is irrevelant.

Higuchimon, I don't know who you are, and who know maybe you are aroace too ! But the fact is, your post felt very dismissive of a well-written analysis, though I don't think you had any malicious intent. I just wanted to get the uncomfort and anger I've been feeling over it out of my chest really. If you don't see any of the subtext we've talken about in GX then that's fine, you do you ! Everyone gonna have different view on a story, that's perfectly natural ! But if you feel like that subtext cannot exist and that thinking it does is objectively wrong, then you should probably take time to examine yourself and your belief.

Hello would you be willing to rant about the ace subtext in Yugioh GX season 3 to me ? I haven't watched GX yet (though I plan to) and I have heard about its gay subtext but this is the first time I hear about ace subtext 💜🖤 ! Don't hesitate to spoil to your heart content btw, I don't mind them (they're generally what stimulates my interest in something in the first place) and I already spoiled myself a huge chunk of the season 3 of GX anyway 😅

OH ABSOLUTELY

I meant to make an essay about this ageeees ago but ended up never getting around to it. For starters, let's just talk about how ace coded Jaden Yuki is.

Jaden, at multiple points in the series, expresses a nonchalance, obliviousness, or straight up disinterest in romance. Multiple people ask him out and he either doesn't get what they're asking or turns them down. (This includes a guy btw, no not that one, an undead ghost king asks Jaden to marry him and Jaden turns him down.) Several minor villains attempt to distract him/flirt with him/straight up use love magic on him and it just. Does not work. His tag force profile says, quote "At times a girl may have a crush on him, but he has rarely, if ever, shown any interest."

Okay, so he's gay, right?

Well, as I mentioned, even the one male character that shows interest in him, he turns down, but maybe that was a fluke.

Enter season 3, and Jesse "Johan" Anderson.

Jesse is a sweet befrilled little bishonen boy, with a rainbow magic motif and the accent of Owen Wilson. He and Jaden instantly click. His entire introduction episode is just the two of them hanging out and talking about their shared interests, and Jaden's other friends commenting that they've never seen him act like this with anyone. Over the course of an arc, the two come to completely rely on each other and work in tandem, and Jesse takes to calling Jaden "partner".

This is the part that a lot of folks like to point to and declare "gay!" and I'm not going to deny it. Jesse is an undeniably queer character.

Interestingly, in a series set in highschool, with a large ensemble of characters undergoing coming-of-age plot lines, and having crises of identity, Jesse is one of the only members of the cast to never having an arc around his identity or his relationships with people.

Chazz learns that he came from an abusive family and has to shed the toxic expectations placed upon him by his older brothers, leaving behind the fruitless scrabble for their approval. Alexis slowly comes to terms with the fact that her crush (Jaden) will never like her back and she has spent so long chasing after friendships that she no longer knows how to exist without being an ever smiling supporter and it terrifies her. Syrus wants desperately to live up to his older brother's reputation, except said older brother is actually a mess, and the more Syrus tries to be like him the more he seems to drive them apart. Heck, even Hassleberry has some (extremely clumsy) magical identity shenanigans going on, and reckoning his past life as a dinosaur (it's a long story) with his understanding of himself. Jaden's a whole other bag of worms.

But Jesse is never troubled by his identity, or the way he loves people. That's what makes Jesse queer: he's comfortable with who he is, revolutionary so for his genre. He's happy to just be in Jaden's life.

Then Yubel shows up.

Okay, about Yubel. Now, you might have heard, but Jaden had this bigender ghost dragon demon sharing tenancy in his brain when he was a kid, who's actually a leftover guardian from a past life, who swore an oath to follow Jaden through his reincarnations and protect him, and underwent painful transformative surgery to make themselves an immortal monster creature so they could do just that. They asked past!Jaden if he would always love them, and he said yes of course. Then in present day they got a little into the protector sauce and started murdering anyone who made Jaden sad, so he decided to send them away into the cold isolation of space to stop the murders from happening. Now they're back, and they have a complex.

Specifically, they are very angry at Jaden for sending them away, but also rationalize it as "Jaden promised to love me forever. Then he sent me into the Torment Nexus. Therefore, sending the person you care about to the Torment Nexus = love."

(Learning all this also adds a fascinating layer to Jaden, because it recontextualizes all those interactions he had where he turned people down. Not only is he just naturally oblivious, but subconsciously he tries to hold people at arms length, so they don't go to extreme lengths for him.)

Yubel is royally pissed to come back from The Pain Dimension and see their "spot" at Jaden's side taken by this funky little rainbow southern boi. So they try to reassert their love by killing everyone Jaden knows; placing him in intense pain, and conveniently getting rid of all those "rivals" for his affection.

The plot of yugioh gx season 3 is the villain trying to force the main character into what their idea of a "romantic" relationship should be, while trying to eradicate the person who is completely comfortable loving him in a nontraditional way.

And! The interesting thing about Jaden! Is that he does love!

Jesse sacrifices himself to save Jaden and everyone, and Jaden cannot cope with that. (see above, for him having trouble forming connections because he equates loving someone with deep personal loss that's his fault) He sets out for basically the afterlife, determined to bring Jesse back from the dead, with everyone else in the show trailing after him and telling him this is a bad idea.

Jaden loves Jesse to death and past it. That cannot be understated.

For Jaden, love exists. It's primal and destructive and powerful and almost tears him apart, and he tries to burn down the universe to get the people he cares about back. He doesn't go on dates, he doesn't know what the word "fiance" means, he visibly cringes when people talk about romantic relationships, but he loves so powerfully that the entire conflict of the season, maybe even the entire show, is that Jaden loves so much.

Yubel puts together that Jaden loves Jesse, so they take over his body. They try to shape themselves into the form they know Jaden loves, and short of that, deliver an ultimatum. Them, or Jesse.

Yubel cannot comprehend a world where Jaden is allowed to love them both. Yubel is representative of the view of love as a monogamous, one-and-done kind of situation. Jaden reaches back out and says "No. I love him, and I love you. And I'm sorry."

Yubel cannot love him into the form of relationship they think is "normal". No matter how hard they try, the two of them are never going to be the traditional, picture perfect couple from Yubel's stories of the knight and his bodyguard. They will both always be "alien". And Jaden will never stop loving Jesse, in that messy and vaguely defined way neither of them will elaborate on, even when asked by other characters.

When Jaden gives up on the idea of love and being loved in exactly the way everyone is telling him he should, that's when he gets a happy ending.

It's a theme that permeates so much of the series. Chazz should stop striving for approval from people who don't care about him. Cyrus should stop trying to change himself just to fit a preconceived mold. Alexis can't keep bending over backwards to help people in the vain hope that one day they will love her back the way she wants.

And at the center of it all an asexual character, learning to accept the part of him that loves different from the way he is told he should.

[crepezinhos]

Time-in

Kinich is not the most humble guy when it comes to setting hours to Ajaw's timeout and Ajaw hates it to the core. He hates it so much that he counts every single second until he can leave that stupid place and Kinich knows it, which is why he almost always prepares to have the pixelated dinosaur flying around him, screaming how reliefed he is to be out again... but not when he's fucking you.

Kinich is raw. He'll fuck you for hours in many kind of positions until he's made sure that your are full of him without emiting a single, clear moan. It's all whispers of praise and hums done inside his throat. It's not because he doesn't enjoy that kind of activity, he actually enjoys it like you're gonna die tomorrow, after all, he even manages to lose track of time, no matter how perfect he is with timing.

"Ahhh!!! Feels so good to be out aga-" Little Ajaw suddenly popped out from Kinich's back very excited to be out, but before he could start doing little 'celebration' dance where he’d just twerk his buttocks around, the scene and sounds below him made his whole tiny body freeze, to a point where half his forehead was blue due to the shock.

"A-Ajaw..?!" You moaned his name out in despair, using all the strength you had left to try angling your intimate body parts away from Ajaw's big eyes, but you can’t ‘un-view’ things unfortunately.

Kinich didn't even realize Ajaw's presence at first, so he got confused when you said that and turned to his back him right away, already ready to act tough on the poor dinosaur who was witnessing raw human breeding.

"Leave." Kinich scolded him with an annoyed voice tone, trying to censor your body from him by hugging you closer to his chest, but not a single muscle of his face moved as he did so, neither did he stop thrusting your swollen cunt, going back at staring at your pathetic sex face as soon as he was done ordering the pixel around.

Ajaw's jaw trembled some times, probably trying to find something to respond, but the view he was witnessing of his servant’s dick being so roughly inserted in such an angelic and modest woman like you to a point where you were all naked and broken into a hungry slut with sweaty hair, a creampie in your belly and so many marks of bites, hickeys and handprints all over you done by Kinich, was making him so uncomfortable that he just flew back to his timeout zone. Yes, he went to timeout on his own just because he was that uncomfortable. Just the fact that his servant knew what sex in the first place bothered him! You and Kinich seemed so modest talking to each other that in his eyes you two would never be able to do such carnal activity, especially a kinky one.

"K-Kinich! S-Slow down-! I-I just came, please!"

Were the last words he heard from Tevyat before he was back to his little pixelated jungle realm.

Silly little thought about Kinich before I finish my actual next post 😋

[starboundsingularities]

good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

7 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

28,932 notes

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

1,092 notes

🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

24,374 notes

🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

94,834 notes

🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

2,284 notes

🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

702,947 notes

🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

302,948 notes

👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

62,193 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

7,293 notes

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

12,293 notes

🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

837,495 notes

💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

503,893 notes

🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

384,568 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

[devosin]

GRIM ACCIDENTLY OUTING YOUR CRUSH ON HIM !! . . grim accidently blurting out how much you love the dorm head . .

gender neutral reader / fluff / crack taken seriously / mutual pinning

a/n: this has been rotting in my idea list for like over 2 years, enjoy! og account: @/cupids-chamber

MALLEUS DRACONIA

Malleus was surprised, when you had decided to tag along on his Gargoyle Study Club meeting, however he was ecstatic with the idea of you joining him, while he talked about his favorite things. Truly an exciting time, talking to his favorite person about his favorite things!

For once he didn't quite mind having no one at the meetings, because he got to spend time with you—and Grim . . he's there too . . In fact, Malleus kind of finds it endearing he stuck around this long with you, listening to him, despite clearly not being interested in the topic.

Malleus walked around, showing you his collection of gargoyles—explaining the extensive history of each one, and you listened, throughout his explanations which most people would find extremely boring, though seeing how passionate he was about the subject, you couldn't help but be engaged.

You followed along behind him, as he showed you each one, Grim on your shoulder, yawning rather loudly—clearly bored with the past hour, where you dragged him into Malleus's club meeting, which you passed off as a 'morale' thing to do—when he can clearly tell you did this because you liked him.

"Ah . . I have something I want to give to you"—Malleus shifted through the drawers, looking for the miniature gargoyles he had made for the both of you (well just you, he figured grim would appreciate something more . . edible . . he got tuna.).

Grim leans in closer to you, whispering rather loudly, so much so you knew Malleus could hear, "henchman, how much longer . . my whiskers are turning white here!!", he whispered all bit dramatically, and you sighed internally, mumbling a soft, "Grim not right now", in response.

After a few more moments of silence, Grim leaned back, and exclaimed, "You seriously like this guy, he likes gargoyles more then I like tuna—"

Grim paused, realizing he spoke a little more than he really should've. . . and Malleus paused, dropping whatever was in his hand to the floor, turning blankly at you, looking at you with a dumbfounded look on his face . . (he's processing, give him a minute.)

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

Riddle isn't the kind of person to intrude in a conversation, especially when he knows he isn't wanted there (debatable)—He also doesn't enjoy listening in on others private conversations . . However, this case is different, obviously he has the right to be curious when you're being so very loud, I mean practically everyone can hear you!

His heels clicked on the floors, as he raced through the halls—Riddle doesn't often find himself in a rush, but lunch had started 5 minutes ago, and he was running behind on his schedule.

His hands gripped his notes tightly, and just as he was about to make a turn, he heard his name . .—Riddle stopped in his tracks, looking around, in order to find the source of the noise, that's when he spotted you . . and grim, who was speaking rather loudly.

Now, Riddle swears he's not purposefully ease-dropping, but Grim was loud. . he was bound to overhear anyways! . . Well that's what he'll keep telling himself, in order to ease the guilt of listening in on your private conversations.

"Riddle?!" Grim exclaimed, waving his little paws around in shock, "out of everyone henchman, you like that—", you covered Grim's mouth with your hand, whispering loudly in response, "Why don't you tell the whole school I like Riddle, Grim?!?"

Riddle paused in response to that, 'you liked him? . . as in romantically? . .', Riddle loses his grip on his notes, in shock. Papers scattered the floor with a thud, and before Riddle could fix the mess he had accidently caused, you turned, and faced him . . This is gonna be one long confessio—conversation.

VIL SCHOENHEIT

See, Vil isn't the kind of person to believe in a rumor or petty gossip that he hears across the halls of Pomefiore, because if there's drama then Octavinelle and Pomefiore are the absolute first at the crime scene—He's well aware of how a small lie and a fake rumor can go and ruin someone's life, which is why Vil prefers information from the source.

That being said, Vil does enjoy gossip—and at time's he draws his own conclusion to a topic, and keeps it to himself, he's on the middle line of it all, but you bet, he'll 'coincidentally' overhear all the drama going on at your family reunion but don't worry, he's amazing with secrets. (Headcanon: he probably pretends not to like gossip, but still listens and reacts when Rook tells him what he overheard)

And this is why Vil couldn't help it but approach Grim when he heard him complaining begrudgingly to himself, about you kicking him out and making him run 'errands' . . which were more likely then not, a distraction.

"Oh it's nothing, henchman just needed privacy . . ya . .", Vil raises a brow, and Grim should've shut down, but when a can of good tuna got involved . . Well a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Grim took the can of tuna from Vil, "They're preparing a confession letter", Grim spoke and Vil couldn't help but feel a pang of betrayal at the revelation, how could they like someone else . . When he's breathing! (At least wait till he's cremated, like gosh . . So as long as his body exists, even if he's not breathing, you should love him frfr #hawkmothcore for the win) . .

"To who?", Vil asks, curiously, and Grim stares at him blankly, "I'll give you another can to go—" he offers, "Gimme it right now, and I'll tell ya'".

Vil sighs, handing him another can, "The letter is for ya', henchman likes you—".

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

Now normally, Leona could care less as to what goes on in the botanical garden, while he takes a nap there (mainly because he's too asleep to register his surroundings), because even with his acute sense of hearing, rarely anyone visits, and if they do, they only do so to take a break or catch a breather, or to just immerse themselves in the garden as a sort of escape, so it's usually all quiet and soothing, for the most part.

However, some days he wasn't so lucky, be it students randomly popping in so they could skip class, or to have a picnic, or that random couple, who thinks it'd be a cute and adorable idea to have a date in the botanical garden because no-one goes there, and it's so secretive and the mystery excites them. (he hates, he fucking hates it, he's the biggest hater there is, he despises all couples equally.)

Leona was all comfortable, half-asleep, his eyes were closed as he was ready to just get some shut-eye, sleep for a couple hours—until, he heard footsteps, rather loud ones . . Now, he normally doesn't care, and to be frank, he doesn't care right now, he figured they're taking a small stroll, and will stop . . eventually. (delusional king!!)

"Grim this is ridiculous—", Leona's ears perked up as he heard your voice, now that had his eyes wide open, looking around for you . . Well he's not that curious, as to what you find 'ridiculous' (he's very curious, he needs to know each detail, tell him everything), but he does hope you expand on it.

"C'mon henchmen! The best way to get over someone is confess and get closure?", Grim was confused himself, with whatever he was saying, "Oh yea Grim, which class did you learn that from, romance 101 with Crowley?—", Leona snorts.

"No actually I asked Trien!" Grim says . . a bit too confidently for comfort, "Grim . . I don't think you should be proud of that", you point out.

"Just tell Leona you like him? He's not gonna kill ya"

". . ." Leona froze, . . you liked him? I mean yea that makes sense, he's really attractive, but you—Liked him? . .

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Azul states that he doesn't favor you that much—although the twins will argue otherwise, especially since Azul got you to taste test the new Monstro Lounge menu items, before he released it . . before even tasting it himself, . . and maybe he didn't want to let it slip that he liked you only—because he ended up also inviting Grim to taste the food with you—And with Crowley's payments . . well you were more than willing to accept free food.

To be fair, Azul is aware you do get a bit more special treatment, and deep-down he's well aware he likes you, but confronting his feelings? in this economy? . . not gonna happen . . He'd rather you assume he's a cat person who likes Grim, because clearly that's what you think of him, since he's so pretty and smart and good at covering his feelings. (He's not, he's boyfailing a little too close to the sun.)

Azul had everything set up—and by that he means, he had a plan and got other people to set it up for him, according to said plan, because he couldn't give away the fact that he had planned it himself, no . . that would make it seem like he was into you, and he'd rather die then you know that—In fact, he'd rather have his tentacles inked dry and cut off, fried and dipped in his ink, and shoved so far down his throat he chokes and dies before that even remotely comes close to happening.

You sat beside Azul, as he asked asked you about the food, and you gave responses that he mostly liked, . . well you did have some comments about the blue cheese rigatoni . . But to be fair, he entrusted the blue cheese to Floyd . .

Grim was half-way through his food, when he randomly spoke, with his mouth rather full, "This is amazing . . I can see why you like this guy henchman . .—" Azul paused and he practically stopped blinking, if his ears could perk up, then it would right now, "—for once your taste in men . . has good justification henchm—" Grim only paused when he recognized your glare, and only then did he realize how badly he fucked up . . "I'm not getting the good tuna for awhile . . am I?"

KALIM AL-ASIM

Kalim doesn't usually come in without an appointment (lies), or before informing you beforehand (lies on top of lies), and he doesn't really like invading your personal time (and lies again) . . at least not knowingly, but today was different . . he wanted to go somewhere with you! It's a surprise, and surely you'd appreciate him randomly popping into your dorm and dragging you outside, in the sunlight like an upstanding citizen and friend.

Kalim settles on the couch in the lounge of Ramshackle, stretching his arms out as he gets comfortable. All the while, Grim stares him down, . . something Kalim noticed off the get-go, "Why are you looking at me like that?", he calls out, confused and a tad bit unnerved at the blatant piercing stare.

"You're the one henchman likes, right? . .—what's your credit score? . . how many cans of tuna are we talking—"

Kalim paused, ". . . what?", he asks blankly, still paused at the first half of Grim's sentence, enough to not notice or take offense to the rest of his words and questions. "Why can't ya' hear me . . ?! I asked what's your credit scor—", grim responds, only to be cut-off mid-sentence by Kalim "BEFORE THAT!"

"That you're the person henchman lik—", Grim pauses as he hears your voice, and as you enter the room, Grim realizes his mistake, "Fuck."

"Kalim act natural!" Grim asks, as he goes back into his usual stance, but as he see's Kalim not moving, . . "who am I kidding . . no one can get shit through to ya' in one go . . I'm fucked."

IDIA SHROUD

Idia had his gaming equipment set up for two, well it would be three—but paws and controllers isn't the most fun thing to play around with, therefore Grim has opted to watching, instead of playing. Which he gets bored of rather fast, and well Ortho preferred to watch his older brother then play, or do normal kid things like advanced calculus.

Although Idia didn't really mind that, he enjoyed playing with you, because you were a really good challenge, a true gamer! . . And with newer games, he found that you listened and got the hang of it fast, and it was fun helping you grow your account on his favorite games, and it was also fun listening to you ramble about your favorite games from your world.

"So yea in genshin impact—", you rambled on and on about the Fontaine chapter, and about the 'archon' which was like the great seven, and how sad her storyline was, Idia dabbled in Lore from time to time, though he really found it amusing how you took the time to describe everything, you really helped immerse him in the storyline, and to be honest, sometimes he could imagine he was playing the game with you.

"—and then if you went into this specific area you could actually hear her cry . . OH oh! . . and when Neuvillette cried, it would like downpour so hard . . ", you continued rambling, and Idia would just listen, so much so that you guys completely forgot the game you were actually playing . . which seemed to upset Grim, who wanted to watch.

"Yea yea . . henchmen, we get it was sad, and it's fun talking to the love of your life—but could we please have more playing and less talking!", Grim explained rather dramatically, his paws flinging up, only to be silenced when he saw the two of you silent, looking at each other . . and then Idia's hair burst up in bright pink flames . .

commissions / discord server / february bundles <3

@ devosin , do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work/theme without prior permission and or confirmation.