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what-even-is-thiss · 19 hours ago
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Ways you can volunteer when you have social anxiety
Hi, I know some of you feel motivated to organize and volunteer with the recent everything but as someone with an anxiety disorder I know the struggle. I’ve been volunteering sporadically since I was a teen and not all of it requires face to face to contact with the public. Here’s some ideas to get you started.
Cooking in kitchens and food pantries/volunteering to cook at places that have daily or weekly free or reduced cost meals like food not bombs, soup kitchens, summer or winter food trucks for low income k-12 students, religious community kitchens like at church gatherings or a Sikh langar.
Making clothing or blankets. Domestic violence shelters are often in need of these for both adults and kids. Organizations that work with foster kids are often also in need of clothing and blankets.
Contacting vendors: If you’re bad at talking to people but good at writing emails a lot of groups are in need of supplies.
Unloading trucks at stuff like food pantries and clothing drives. If possible you can request to be put in the back room or work on setup.
Just show up at the protest. Sometimes you can just stand there and be another body in the back of the crowd. That’s what I’ve done at every protest I’ve ever been in. Wear a face mask and a hat if you don’t want to be recognized. You’re sending a message just by being there.
House repair and garden planting. A lot of organizations that do this stuff will train you.
Write letters to prisoners. There’s a lot of organizations that let you do this but they’re usually specific to a local area. When I lived in Texas there was an organization that connected some classmates and I to a group of people in the local men’s prison who wanted to do a book club so we did a long distance book club with them for a few months.
After school tutoring, babysitting, religious or other types of classes for kids, etc. Some folks feel less anxious around kids and there’s plenty of opportunities to volunteer in both secular and religious capacities. You can tutor, babysit, help run classes, stuff like that. There’s also a lot of opportunities to work with foster kids without being a foster parent if that’s something you’re passionate about.
Counting money. Organizations get donations and those donations often come in the form of cash. This is the primary form of volunteer work my grandmother does for her church and some local charities. It’s a good choice if you’re someone who can’t stand for long periods of time and you’re good at basic math.
Donate blood. Yes this counts as volunteer work.
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nativegirltapes · 3 days ago
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drew didn’t like to make a big deal out of his birthday, but unfortunately (fortunately) for him, he’s dating angel, the girl who makes it her life mission to celebrate his birthday !
notes — small birthday blurb for my babydaddyyyy <3 nothing that special.
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you knew it was dangerous when drew gave you a copy of his key for his apartment. coming to steal his clothes and dig in his snacks was fun and sneaky, but planning a surprise party for him while he was away all day was definitely at the top of the list.
“i want everything to be perfect! we need to rehearse one more time!” you shouted. “everyone get in position!”
“really?” JD complained, although he was definitely speaking for everyone involved in the surprise. this was your 6th time making everyone rehearse for when drew got home. “yes. really. now get in position.” you rebutted, everyone ultimately listened and got into position. they knew how much this meant to you. they knew how much drew meant to you.
“wait!” your eyes shot open at the noise of drew stomping down the hallway. “he’s actually here! everyone positions now! for real this time!” you took your spot standing a few feet from the door, holding the fresh flowers you bought for drew.
your stomach did flips as you heard drew fiddling with the lock, you just wanted everything to be perfect for him. and more importantly you just wanted him to like it.
“SURPRISE!” everyone shouted as drew opened the door. a huge grin took over his face as he set his bag on the floor, immediately coming to embrace you.
you heard mumbled ‘happy birthday drew’s’ being yelled by everyone as he hugged you. he left kisses all along your ear and cheeks, “happy birthday drew.” you said softly, pulling away from the hug and giving drew his flowers. you were surrounded by dozens of people but still this moment felt so intimate. “thank you baby.” drew kissed you before making his way to his other friends and guests that you’d managed to all round up on the same day, all to celebrate him.
⋆˚࿔ 🎂 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
after a few hours of socializing with drew’s friends and castmates, some of who you loved and some of which you couldn’t stand, you’d finally gotten drew alone upstairs in his room for a bit.
“you did all this for me?” drew wrapped his arms around you, bringing you closer to him. a small smirk took over his face as he looked down at you. you looked absolutely stunning. you couldve gotten him nothing and he’d still be happy just being able to come home to you.
“yes.” you batted your lashes, your soft voice giving him butterflies. “there isn’t anyone else i would want to do it for.” you stood on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “you mean that?” drew teased, his hands making there way down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze.
“do you want to find out?” you pulled him by the collar of his shirt back to the bed. drew wasn’t the only one getting what he wanted for his birthday.
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weirdmageddon · 1 day ago
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i was thinking about this since i posted earlier about us needing to address the trend of gen z men being pulled into alt-right pipelines might have contributed to the outcome of this election.
i think contrapoints is really smart, and from what i’ve seen, has been way more effective at getting people out of harmful ideological pipelines than i’ve seen from the majority of leftists online who instead berate and drive a greater wedge of antipathy (though i understand why! and it can be very hard to have empathy for the people who see you as a threat). that antipathy makes the right more radicalized because they don’t feel like they can talk about anything without the “crazy lefties” who won’t even engage with them. where did these issues come from?
what i’ve noticed, and i’m even guilty of this, is that people don’t interact with groups of people whom they refuse talk to, which makes realities more hypothetical in the minds of their opponent since they aren’t open to seeing reality from their perspective. this is true on both sides. from what i’ve observed, it seems to originate from hypothetical perception of the opponent, but when people treat those perceptions as though they are real, it becomes real with their actions, which then makes the antipathy justified to someone. again, on both sides.
what makes contrapoints so successful at breaking this down is that is that she creates these socratic dialogue skits that represent real people and ideologies, has a sense of humor, isn’t afraid to discuss these things, reframes how we see these things by introducing nuance to both sides. she’s a leftist, but she also knows how to engage without ripening division, of meeting someone halfway and being completely humble about it. she is able to soften extremes.
she is able to get into the mind of people who aren’t aligned with her views, understand the nuance and rationales from a realistic perspective, breaking down a big block of “this is all bad” into “ok, some of this makes sense…”, what this does is create a space for self-reflection that doesn’t feel ham-fisted (which could otherwise cause people to double down on their beliefs instead of opening up to other perspectives outside of their bubble). while also being entertaining and well-produced on top of it.
youtube
what she is doing is creating these scenarios and socratic discussions that SHOULD be happening in real life but aren’t in this polarized social climate.
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i graduated from new college of florida this spring, the small liberal arts college that was in headlines across the country for ron desantis’s board of trustees hostile takeover and exodus of professors.
new students and student athletes from conservative walks of life were being basically incentivized to go there who were taught to fear the lgbt boogeyman growing up in their conservative communities. but once they actually interacted with lgbt students there, many of them they felt like they understood them, and they weren’t as bad as they were told they would be. new college of florida was also famous for getting derek black (child of the man who created stormfront, and godchild of the kkk grand wizard david duke) out of white nationalism. their peers at NCF called them out but also interacted with them, invited them to dinner. black wrote a book about it.
now of course some people are too far gone and you shouldn’t waste your time with them, like derek’s family for example. but i also think a lot of people who voted for trump are not informed, are operating off of emotion and knee-jerk mentality because it’s easier than thinking, and they are not seeing the discussions that need to be had to change their mind because fuckin…nobody is doing them.
and we feel this visceral disgust to people of the opposing party because of its associations. i just want to know how it happened and how we got to be like this. i think social media is partly to blame and also the algorithms that take people down dangerous pipelines and sharpen them, insulate them.
i myself understand the vitriol you might have for anyone that voted for trump. i feel so disappointed that half the people of this country voted against our collective benefit. and i’ve seen a lot of sentiment from the left today saying “every single person who voted for trump is dead to me. i disowned you”.
you can see the reality of trump’s demagoguery, and it’s so obvious, but what i want to know is: what do they see? why did they vote for him? emotion and entertainment travel faster and have more reach than reason. and it’s that’s why i think contrapoints’s videos are exemplary at tackling this ideological divide. this is something i’ve been thinking about for months before today and i thought now was a better time than ever to give my two cents on it.
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no-144444 · 3 days ago
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quick tweet, big problem- o.piastri
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summary: you and oscar are together, but the world doesn't need to know you're engaged. lando decides they do.
pairing: oscar piastri x fem! kravitz! reader
(context in case you don't know him: ted kravitz is a skyf1 presenter)
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“Red flag, red flag, come in,” Tom said.
Annoyance surged through him. This race was not going his way at all. He started slowing down, following closely behind Lawson. “Who’s off?”
“Colapinto,” he explained. “It’s a big one, probably a 20 to 30 minute red flag.”
For fucks sake. Oscar had told them it was too dangerous. They didn’t listen. He paid the price. Now Max was up into p2, and Lando was stuck in p5. Oscar couldn’t even do anything to help. He grunted, getting out of the car and following Tom back to the garage. 
He was ushered over to his engineers, but honestly all he wanted was to see you. Being Lando’s race engineer, Oscar had seen you around the paddock in some of his first weeks and befriended you, on top of that, he’d fallen madly in love with you and asked you out 11 months ago. You two had been going out for 11 months now, and, while he could see you between the screens as his engineers and Andrea gave him advice about the race, he kind of tuned them out, too busy staring at you.
“Jesus, loverboy, just go say hi and come back, alright? We need you thinking with your head, not your dick,” Zak scoffed, finally allowing him to see you. 
Quickly, Oscar rounded the corner of the desk and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on the top of yours. You didn’t stop talking to Lando, explaining the plan for the rest of the race. 
“But I fucking said to stay out,” Lando whined. 
“No, you told us to box you. We told you to stay out,” you explained, your voice calm. 
Lando just scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” then walked off to go brood somewhere else. 
“Shitty weather, eh?” you mused.
“Awful,” he nodded. 
“Is that sweat or rain?” you asked, feeling how wet he truly was. 
“Both,” he sighed. He knew there were about forty cameras on the two of you. Moments between you two that the public saw were few and far between. You liked it that way. He liked it that way. Privacy was something he essentially gave up when he became a public figure, but that didn’t mean you had to. “How’s Lando doing?”
“He’s just pissed away his chance at World Champion,” you took a deep breath, leaning into him. “And I’ll be the one he screams at during the end of the race. I’ll be the one having to explain it to Zak, and I won’t get home until probably tomorrow. And my dad is staring at us.”
Oscar groaned. “Fucking hate dealing with this shit.” 
You nodded. “Me too. But at least there’s no race for two weeks.” 
“We’re off to Melbourne,” he reminded you. “Have to do the family rounds, since we’re engaged,” he beamed. Over the last break, Oscar had proposed. It was the happiest moment of your lives (closely followed by Oscar’s win in Baku), and now you were on your way to visit his extended family for the first time. Since he’d met most of your family (especially considering Ted Kravitz was your father and Oscar met him before he met you), it was only fair that you make the trip and meet his.
Before that though, you had to get through today. 
“You’d better go chat with your engineers,” you took your hands off his. “Zak is giving me dirty looks.”
He rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t want to.” 
You chuckled. “Go,” you urged him. “If you get higher than p9 I’ll give you a kiss at the end of the race.”
“Good deal,” he pondered. “Or I could just kiss you now,” and with that, he pressed his lips to yours quickly, before running off to his side of the garage. 
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Lando was an idiot, but he was Oscar's idiot, so you didn't kill him. You knew it was only a matter of time before someone slipped up, whether it be your dad, you, or Oscar. You didn't suspect it would be Lando, though. You did enjoy watching Oscar shout at him though. That was pretty funny.
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
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amirasainz · 23 hours ago
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What about Norris reader (17) and Oldie and Kimi Antonelli have a crush on her. Lando, ever the overprotectiv brother, doesn't like this and the other drivers use it to their advantage, because they find this really funny. Reader is just clueless and thinks the boys are really sweet to her♥️♥️
Wait, why do I ship these three??
Enjoy reading and send some requests!!!
-xoxo, babygirl 💕
Two for one
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The bustling energy of the Mexican Grand Prix electrified the air as Yn Norris wandered around the paddock, wide-eyed with excitement. Her older brother, Lando, had arranged for her to come along this weekend, and she was thrilled to be there. Being just seventeen, this was one of her first big Grand Prix weekends on her own, without her parents or siblings (except Lando) and she couldn't wait to soak it all in.
As she explored the paddock, she suddenly heard her name being called. Turning around, she found herself face-to-face with Kimi and Ollie, both of whom had driven in Free Practice 1 that day.
"Yn! Fancy running into you here," Ollie greeted with a wide grin.
Kimi smirked, giving her a casual wave. "So, what do you think of Mexico so far?"
Yn smiled brightly. "It’s incredible! I’m so happy Lando invited me."
"Oh, he invited you, did he?" Kimi asked with a sly grin, glancing over his shoulder as if expecting Lando to pop out of nowhere.
Yn laughed, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, but he’s already being overprotective. He thinks I'm going to, like, get lost or something. I just wanted to go look around by myself, but he practically assigned me a bodyguard."
Kimi and Ollie exchanged amused looks. "Well, we’re here now. So, if you need someone to show you around or keep you company, I think we can handle that," Ollie offered.
"Yeah, you’re in good hands, Yn," Kimi added with a wink.
---
A little later, Lando noticed Yn with Kimi and Ollie, and immediately, he felt his older brother senses tingling. He walked up to them with an exaggeratedly casual stride, hands stuffed in his pockets but eyes locked onto Kimi and Ollie.
"Hey, Yn," Lando greeted her, then quickly turned to Kimi and Ollie. "What are you guys up to?"
Ollie raised his hands defensively. "Just chatting with your sister, mate. Nothing serious."
Kimi chimed in, smirking slightly. "Yeah, just giving her some company. It can’t be fun to wander around here alone."
Lando narrowed his eyes. "Well, she’s not alone. I’m here."
Yn rolled her eyes. "Lando, I’m fine. You don’t have to act like I’m five."
"Yeah, Lando, she’s fine," Ollie teased, nudging Lando’s arm. "Besides, it's not like Kimi and I are troublemakers."
Max, who had been watching from nearby, wandered over, grinning as he picked up on the situation. "Oh, looks like little Norris has some admirers."
"Yeah, careful, Lando," Checo joined in, laughing as he walked by. "You know, they say these drivers are charmers. Better keep a close eye on her, or she might run off with them to Yucatan."
Lando scowled, crossing his arms. "That’s not funny, guys."
Ollie looked at Yn, feigning a wistful expression. "Yucatan, huh? That could be fun."
Yn rolled her eyes again, laughing. "Ignore them, Ollie. You’re all acting like children."
Kimi leaned closer to her. "Maybe. But you know, Yucatan does sound like a pretty great idea."
Lando stepped in between them, giving Kimi a warning look. "Don’t even think about it, Antonelli."
Kimi laughed, but there was a hint of nervousness. As much as he enjoyed teasing Lando, he could feel Lando’s big-brother protectiveness radiating off him in waves. Still, he couldn’t resist pushing a little.
"Relax, Lando," Kimi said, holding up his hands. "We’re just here to make sure Yn has a good time."
"Under my supervision," Lando shot back, narrowing his eyes. He put an arm around Yn’s shoulder. "You’re staying close to me for the rest of the weekend."
Yn groaned, but Lando’s resolve didn’t waver.
---
The next day, Lando was more determined than ever to keep an eye on his sister. Every time Kimi or Ollie got close, he’d swoop in, leading her away or blocking their paths.
Eventually, Pierre caught onto the whole situation and couldn’t resist chiming in. "You know, Lando, if you keep this up, you’re going to scare away all her potential boyfriends."
Lando shook his head, exasperated. "That’s the plan, Pierre."
Carlos joined the fun, laughing. "Be careful, Lando. Vegas is just around the corner. Blink, and she might end up running off with Kimi or Ollie. Maybe even both."
Ollie, who had overheard, grinned, raising his eyebrows at Yn. "What do you think, Yn? Should we book tickets?"
Yn chuckled. "Oh, please. Lando would probably have a heart attack before we even left the airport."
Lando glared at them. "I’m serious. You two better not get any ideas, you stinky whankers."
Kimi shrugged, but his smirk didn’t fade. "Relax, mate. We’re just keeping her company."
Charles joined the group, looking thoroughly entertained. "I can’t wait for Vegas now. If this is how Lando is in Mexico, Vegas will be legendary. Maybe we’ll all get invited to Yn’s wedding."
Lando groaned, running a hand through his hair. "You all are impossible."
---
As the weekend progressed, Kimi and Ollie kept finding small ways to get Yn’s attention. They’d save her a seat, bring her snacks, and keep her laughing with stories and jokes. Each time, Lando was there, watching like a hawk.
At one point, Yn turned to him, exasperated. "Lando, seriously. I’m just hanging out with friends. Can you please relax?"
"I am relaxed," Lando replied, not convincing anyone.
Yn shot him an annoyed look. "You’re practically breathing down my neck."
Ollie leaned in, whispering, "Told you he’s overprotective."
Kimi chuckled. "You’re handling it well, though."
Yn laughed, shaking her head. "I think it’s actually you two who are nervous around him."
Both Ollie and Kimi exchanged guilty looks, though they quickly covered it with their usual confident smiles. But every time Lando was around, they seemed to straighten up a little, wary of his watchful eyes.
---
On race day, things hit a peak. Kimi and Ollie had managed to catch Yn alone, and they were chatting animatedly about everything from their goals in racing to funny stories from the paddock. Yn was laughing, completely unaware of the fact that both boys were subtly vying for her attention.
But it didn’t take long for Lando to find them, and he wasted no time inserting himself into the conversation.
"Hey, Yn, you ready to come to the garage?" he asked pointedly.
Yn glanced at Kimi and Ollie apologetically. "Duty calls, I guess."
Ollie gave Lando a pleading look. "Come on, Lando. Let her hang out with us for a bit longer."
Lando raised an eyebrow. "Why, so you two can keep flirting with her?"
Kimi flushed, stammering, "W-We weren’t—"
Yn stared at him in surprise. "Flirting? Seriously, Lando? We’re just friends."
"Exactly," Lando said, taking her by the arm. "And that’s all you’re going to be."
Max and Charles, who had been watching the entire exchange, burst into laughter. Charles clapped Lando on the back. "Relax, Lando. You’re acting like you’re her father."
Max nodded, grinning. "Good luck keeping her under control in Vegas. Don’t be surprised if she elopes with one of them. Or both."
Lando scowled, his grip on Yn’s arm tightening slightly. "Not happening. Not on my watch."
Yn sighed, throwing Kimi and Ollie a helpless look as she was guided away. They exchanged amused, slightly nervous glances, but it was clear that they weren’t about to give up. She blew them a kiss, which both Kimi and Ollie pretended to catch. Ollie put his "kiss" to his heart while Kimi put his on his cheek.
As Yn and Lando walked off, she glanced up at her brother, shaking her head. "You know, if you keep acting like this, no one’s ever going to want to date me."
"That’s the point," Lando muttered under his breath.
Yn laughed. "You’re ridiculous."
"And I’m your older brother," he replied, smirking. "Get used to it."
Behind them, Kimi and Ollie shared a look, nodding in silent agreement. They’d have to work harder to get Yn’s attention without incurring the wrath of overprotective older brother Lando. But they weren’t about to give up. After all, Vegas was coming up soon, and as much as Lando hated to hear it, the weekend held endless possibilities.
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lastoneout · 17 hours ago
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I keep thinking about all of the disabled activists and people before me who stranded themselves on the 4th floor of buildings for weeks and crawled up stairs and fought with airline staff and schools and doctors and refused to stop existing in the face of injustice and bigotry no matter how big and scary and hopeless it seemed. Every time I get angry and scared the protests that lead to the creation of the ADA pop up again and remind me that disabled people are so much fucking stronger than anyone has ever given us credit for, and I can't help but be proud of that. And I know not all disabled people feel like we should take pride in our disabilities and have flags or whatever, but I think not just living, but thriving, in spite of a world that wants us dead and gone, in the face of both illness and persecution, and how we've not only bought ourselves forward, but uplifted the disabled people around us, secured more equal futures for everyone who will come after, and truly changed the way so many abled people have seen us for the better is something to be damn fucking proud of.
We have always been here and we always will be, there will never be a world without disabled people because being disabled is not bad, it's a natural part of the human experience and yeah it sucks some times but even when it sucks we have fought to build beautiful, unique, happy lives with people, both like us and not, and that should be celebrated.
The first sign of human civilization is the healed femur. The body of the profoundly disabled person who would have needed help to even just eat being carefully laid to rest after decades of a full, happy life. The medicinal plants showing even before we were entirely human we were doing what we could to not just survive, but alleviate suffering while we're at it. Above everything, evolution selected not the baby who can walk and eat and be quiet, but the one that can ask for help.
Disabled people are not just angry cockroach motherfuckers who refuse to die, we are proof of humanity's HUMANITY. Proof that natural selection selected a species that takes care of each other. From healed femurs and medicinal plants to vaccines and IVs and insulin to now, we are driven to help one another, we are at our strongest when we don't leave our most vulnerable behind. And I am living proof of that. My mother is living proof of that. Every disabled and chronically and/or mentally ill person I know is living proof of that.
And I don't know about the rest of you, but will carry that shred of humanity's true nature inside me like it's my fucking soul. I am scared and angry and hurt, but I have a lifetime's experience being scared and angry, and I can shake off the kind of pain that would make Atlas crumble to dust like it's nothing but a stiff fucking breeze. Disabled people have always been here, turning fear and anger and pain into joy and beauty and connection, and I'm not going to let everyone who came before me down. I'm not going to give up. Not now, not ever.
It's okay if you're disabled and you've hit your limit, you're too scared and tired and hurt, I won't blame you. But I won't abandon you, either. I might not be able to right all of the wrongs in the world, but I'll be strong, I'll carry all of you with me, I will not give up.
As I've said before, society hates a cripple who won't die, so we must spite them and live anyway.
Please, live anyway. I know if anyone can, it's us.
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porcupine-girl · 20 hours ago
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Hey, kids
Yes you, the Gen Z-er with your legal first name and diagnoses in your bio, who has never made any attempt to disentangle your fandom identity from your IRL identity.
Now is the time to start doing that. In some ways, it's too late, the internet is forever, etc, but you can start being safer going forward.
I've seen plenty of young people say they don't care if their IRL name is connected to their fandom activity because "they have nothing to be ashamed of" - which is very true, BUT it's not always about shame.
We don't know yet how far this administration will be able to push things. We don't know how heavily, if at all, queer or explicit content will be censored online. We don't know if or how people will be targeted (whether by the law or by other people going on witch hunts) for having created it.
But don't wait until we have a definite answer. Act now. You can't erase your wallet name from people's memories, but you can erase it from your social media. You can sign up for a fandom email account that only has your pseud and not your real name. (I am always shocked at the number of people we have participating in @fandomtrumpshate who use an email address that is their full legal name. We don't even require you to give us that on your donation receipts, please don't.) You can switch your AO3 account and all your fandom social medias to that new email account. You can stop telling people identifying details about yourself unless it's someone you know well enough to trust them not to tell other people.
I know, you don't want to cower. You don't want to run and hide. But you don't need to take unnecessary risks, either. If, once all the new laws etc come down, you look at the landscape and decide yes, I want to put my real name on this and deal with the consequences, that's great! But since we don't actually know what we'll be dealing with, you cannot make an informed decision on that yet. So I strongly suggest you lock it down for the moment, at least until we have more information.
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andhumanslovedstories · 1 day ago
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, “what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?
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phantomspren · 3 days ago
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I was just going to put this in tags but I'll put it here.
This is why I'm uncomfortable when people make sweeping generalizations about conservatives/Republicans.
On a fundamental level, I do disagree with the political beliefs that lead people to holding those labels.
But at the same time, there's such a huge difference between someone who is Republican because they think that we should have lower taxes, and someone who is Republican because they think rich white men are the only people worthy of rights.
When we make those blanket statements of "every Republican is racist" or whatever, we're making it less likely that those people are going to do stuff like this. Often it leads to people doubling down on their beliefs, even if they are inherently harmful.
You also have people like my mom. She is a registered Republican, born and raised in Idaho, super super Mormon.
She's a registered Republican because she thinks that society should be built to promote the family and help families thrive.
But she also supports universal healthcare.
I tell her all the things I think are cool about Harris and Walz and she's always like "wow, yeah, that is really cool!"
She's a high school teacher and because of that now supports gun control.
She doesn't give a shit that I'm aroace. (Haven't talked about gender stuff but I'd feel pretty comfortable bringing it up at this point to be honest.)
The thing is that the public/left awareness of the Republican party has shifted, following the people who are in power. Because those in power are getting more extreme.
There are people who have always held really extreme right-wing beliefs.
There are people like many who are voting for Trump who used to be less extreme, but have followed those in positions in power in gradually making their views more extreme.
There are those like my mom and dad who have some not great but far more reasonable beliefs who feel like the Republican party no longer represent them.
It's important to talk about those problematic beliefs that people like my parents hold, but at the end of the day they are genuinely good people. They've got internalized racism and homophobia and misogyny just like everyone else, but they're still good people.
Honestly even most hardcore Trump supporters are good people. (My grandparents voted for him! They're some of the kindest people I know!)
But if we just throw everyone under the label of "Republican" and then assume that includes things like homophobe, white supremacist, etc, you're going to end up with a lot of people who don't want to get behind what you're behind.
It's so much better, in my experience, to build a report, built trust, try to genuinely understand where the other person is coming from. I've talked to my Trump voting grandparents about trans people and they listened to me. I may not have changed their minds, but they have at least seen that other side from someone they respect.
That's going to go a whole lot more good in the long run than just calling them Republican and never talking to them again.
Of course there's more nuance than this, and if someone has like genuine beliefs that. Really really not great. Dump their ass. It's not worth it. There's a difference between someone who's a white supremacist because that's what they deeply believe, and someone who's just parroting what they saw elsewhere. The later deserve time and understanding, because they have the potential to turn into the former but aren't there yet.
And of course there are people like my mom. If she took a political compass quiz it would tell her she's liberal, hands down. Still a registered Republican.
Anyways, these are thoughts I've had for a bit and maybe I'll write something later that's a bit more planned out. Hope that makes sense.
And there's just a ton of nuance here that I can't get into because I've almost hit my time limit on Tumblr and I need to go take an exam. Plus it's dumb to expect me to elaborate on every possible way this could be misinterpreted. Just assume I kinda know what I'm talking about please, unless I accidentally said something blatantly incorrect. O7
Please vote tomorrow.
Be compassionate.
Imagine those around you complexly.
Think about my mom. :p
Have a cat picture for the road.
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i'm a huge fan of Republicans, conservatives or however you want to be politically labeled choosing country over party. please let me see more stories. it's a brave thing to do this. even if you voted for him in both 2016 & 2020 but you changed your mind now, WELCOME. it's a massive deal to get out of any cult successfully & MAGA is no different. being filled with anger & hatred, & fear is intoxicating & honestly easier than choosing to do the right thing. i'm glad you saw the light.
check your registration status often & don't stop talking about Project 2025. they can pretend they're distancing themselves from it as much as they want but it's absolutely their policy. we can do this though if we just show up & VOTE. we got this 💙
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firewasabeast · 3 days ago
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Prompt: Everyone knows that Tommy is a pushover for Buck's 🥺 eyes (it's a running joke for the 118/217), but when Tommy gets upset and is very quietly 🥺, Buck is shocked by how completely and utterly insane he goes to make Tommy feel better.
(bonus points if it's a completely dumb reason, like Tommy's run out of ice cream or something and it's just A Bad Day)
A little silly, a little serious, I hope you enjoy!
One of the many things Buck loved about his and Tommy's relationship is that he got to see a side of Tommy that no one else saw. He got to see many sides of Tommy that no one else saw, actually.
While everyone got a piece of calm, cool, and collected Thomas Kinard, Buck got all that and everything in between.
He saw him on his best days, his worst days, goofy days, sick days, horny days, tired days, all the days! He often thought of making a list of all the things people would be surprised to know about Tommy. He'd never share it, of course, but it'd be nice for him to have.
Like, how Tommy was ticklish only on his right side. And when he got tickled, he didn't do his normal laugh. Instead it was a high pitched giggle with a snort.
Or, how Tommy was super proud of the fact he knew every single word to We Didn't Start the Fire and he felt the need to sing it at the top of his lungs at least once a week.
How he loved human connection, but hated being touched by strangers. He'd hug a friend all night long if you needed it, but if he didn't know you please keep your hands to yourself.
How he liked tomatoes on cold sandwiches, but never on toasted ones.
How he loved when Buck would sit on the countertop and kiss him because it made him feel smaller, and he loved feeling small and protected in Evan's arms.
How his voice got deeper during sex. Whether he was inside Buck or Buck was inside him, his voice would always get all gravely and deep in a way that sent shivers down Buck's spine.
Maybe one of the biggest ones was how Tommy was not always the stoic, perfectly poised man as he presented himself to the world.
Tommy could get emotional. Emotional in a way that was usually reserved for movies written by men about women during their period.
Buck was thrown off by it the first time it happened. He almost thought it was a joke, until he saw the tears in Tommy's eyes as he mourned the fact he was out of whipped cream.
Then it was just heartbreaking.
It didn't happen often. A series of bad events throughout the day would build up in his body and brain until the smallest inconvenience caused him to fall apart.
They'd talked about it before. Tommy had grown up having to hold in his thoughts and feelings. They'd build and build until he'd do something erratic or harmful. Then he joined the army, and those emotions would build up the same way. Being in the army itself was a bit erratic and harmful, so he didn't have the best coping skills.
It wasn't until he started therapy, and his therapist helped him realize that he needed to let himself feel whatever he was feeling that he slowly and gradually became better at opening up.
However, there were still days where he felt the need to let everything build. Build and build until he burst. Except, now days, instead of becoming erratic or harmful, his eyes would well up and his lip would come out in a pout, and Buck would feel the need to move heaven and earth to make it all better.
Buck knew something was off as soon as he got home from work. Tommy was already there in the garage, half bent over his truck as he worked on the engine.
Buck let out a whistle. “What a view,” he teased.
Tommy glanced back at him, gave him a half smile before focusing back on his truck. “Hey, Baby. I ordered dinner. Should be in before it gets here.”
To anyone else, that might seem like a regular conversation. To Buck, it was the exact opposite. Normal Tommy would make some teasing comment right back, letting Buck know what he was seeing was just a preview of what was to come.
This... This was the start of an emotional night.
*****
Dinner was fairly quiet, with Buck leading most of the conversation. He knew not to ask questions yet. If he did it too soon, Tommy would completely shut down and it would take even longer to get any information out of him. As much as Buck hated it, this had to play out a certain way.
Luckily, he was fluent in Tommy.
It was a little after dinner, once Buck had settled in the living room, that it began.
“Evan?” Tommy called out from the kitchen.
“Yeah?”
“Is... Did you put my ice cream in a different spot?”
“No, it's-” Buck froze, thinking back to two nights ago. Jee had come over and wanted a treat. She ended up eating the last of Tommy's favorite birthday cake ice cream. He knew that, on a regular day, Tommy wouldn't care that it was gone.
He also knew today wasn't a regular day.
“I think it's all gone, Babe,” he said cautiously as he got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen.
“Oh. Okay.”
He wasn't angry. He never got angry over little things like that.
He was sad. Resigned to the fact he would not be getting any of his favorite ice cream tonight.
Buck often felt like it'd be a lot easier if he just got angry.
He made it into the kitchen just as Tommy closed the freezer door. His face downcast, he glanced up at Buck through his eyelashes, eyes wide and wet. His bottom lip jutted out ever so slightly before he turned away from Buck and headed for the pantry.
“I'll have cookies instead,” he said with a sniff.
Buck got out his phone and pressed a few buttons before stuffing it back into his pocket and walking over to Tommy.
“Honey, why don't we just go sit down for a minute?”
“I just...” His shoulders sagged. “I really don't want cookies.”
Gently, Buck placed his hands on Tommy's back, nudging him until he could lead him toward the living room. “Why don't we go sit on the couch, okay?”
Tommy simply nodded, but Buck could see him lift a hand to his face and wipe a tear off his cheek.
The thing was, Buck knew he could be a handful sometimes. He was bratty, pouty, stubborn, and jealous. And Tommy accepted all of that. Not just accepted it, loved it. He loved every part of Buck, even the parts Buck didn't love himself.
Buck also knew Tommy would do anything for him. Would drop whatever he was doing and run to Buck's side the second he got a call. Would wait on him hand and foot. He spoiled Buck rotten, and everyone knew it.
There weren't as many opportunities for Buck to reciprocate that level of love and support. But when these days came along, that what's Buck's time to shine. He hated to see Tommy like this, but loved that he could be there for him. Loved that he could help him through it. So that's what he did.
They got situated, Buck leaning against the arm rest with his legs sprawled out on the couch. He pulled Tommy down so his back rested against Buck's chest. Buck wrapped his arms around him, hands meeting just over his heart. Tommy's hands drifted up and latched onto Buck's, holding tight.
“Why don't you tell me about work?” Buck asked, pressing a kiss to the top of Tommy's head. Things had been fine before they left for work the previous morning, so something had to have happened during their shift.
“I only had two calls.”
“And?”
“And the first one was a drunk driver. It was noon, Evan. Noon.”
“Casualties?”
Tommy shook his head. “No, but a young girl got hit. Spinal injury. She probably won't walk again.”
Now Buck had a starting point.
“After that?”
Tommy's body tensed so Buck squeezed him tighter. “The new probie, Jenkins, did something stupid and pissed me off.”
“What'd he do?”
“Doesn't matter.”
“If it pissed you off, it matters.”
“He's one of those religious types that carries pamphlets in their pockets,” Tommy explained. “I guess he overheard me talking about you- about us- a few weeks ago so he gifted me a pamphlet today.”
Buck knew where this was going. “You're kidding me?”
“I wish. It was some Adam and Eve crap, not even original. It reminded me of my dad. He... He used to say things like that. Anyway, I threw the pamphlet away without reading it.”
“Good for you.”
Tommy shifted slightly, tangling his and Buck's legs together. “The only thing that kept running through my mind was how we watched a little girl's life change forever, she will never walk again, and all Jenkins was thinking about was turning me straight.”
Buck brought a hand to Tommy's hair, carefully running his fingers through it. “I'm sorry, Tommy.”
“My aunt texted me too. Wanted me to come to the next family reunion.”
“Are you gonna go?”
“I told her I'd have a plus one and she... she said she doesn't wanna hear my dad complain for an entire weekend. I was quickly uninvited.”
Buck took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I- If you wanna go-”
“There's not a single part of me that wants to be there, especially without you. I'm good.”
“If you're sure.”
“I'm sure.”
“What about your truck?” Buck asked. “You were working on it when I got home.”
“Oh. That.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “That was the icing on the cake. Engine light came on in the middle of my drive home. I think I fixed the problem for now, but I'm gonna need a new engine soon. Everything just fell apart today, Evan, I- sorry.”
“You don't need to be sorry.” Just then the doorbell rang and Buck gave Tommy a pat on the shoulder. “You do need to get the door though. It's for you.”
Tommy sat up, eyebrows furrowing at Buck before he got up and headed for the door.
About thirty seconds later, he was back with a paper bag in hand. His eyes were soft and tear-filled, but not with sadness this time. “You ordered my ice cream?”
Buck nodded, giving him a smile. “Of course I did.”
Tommy set the bag down and walked over to Buck, kneeling beside the couch and resting his head on Evan's lap. He wrapped his arms around Evan's waist the best he could, his face pressed against Evan's stomach. “I love you so much.”
After a few seconds, Buck stroked his thumb over Tommy's cheek. “Come here,” he said softly, pulling him up for a chaste kiss. “I love you too.”
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unnounblr · 3 hours ago
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Thinking about it more though. I mean, I don't see how vowing to have a republican in her cabinet and wheeling 90 year old Dick fucking Cheney on stage did anything but hurt, but as far as Gaza goes.
Like, the DNC didn't allow any of the Palestinian protestors or activists to get on stage as speakers, and I think that was a mistake, ultimately.
But, like, I know there are people on the Left who object to even Bernie saying that Israel has a right to exist and defend itself against Hamas, and I'm not sure how many of the 14 million who voted for Biden but didn't vote for Kamala take that stance?
Looking over the texts of her speeches, for the most part, Harris's stance on Gaza was "Israel had a right to defend themselves after October 7th, but they went too far, the U.S. has to work with Israel to negotiate a ceasefire, return the hostages, and bring humanitarian aid to Gaza". Paraphrasing, but that's what Harris said on the topic multiple times.
And. I know a lot of people on the left don't like how both-sidesy it is, that Israel isn't willing to negotiate with Hamas, that Israel is the aggressor, that Hamas is a resistance group, that Israel was harming Gaza with the security check points and apartheid and the illegal West Bank settlements before October 7th. And.
I mean, I think it would have been great if she had said a word about the illegal settlements, and suggested that Israel should abide by international law. Criticism of Israel and the way it has responded and acted is very obviously more than warranted
But the thing is, the United States of America is in an alliance with Israel, and has treaties and accords with Israel. Part of the U.S. constitution is that, along with the constitution itself, any treaties the U.S.A. enters into are the Supreme Law of the Land.
Like, that's why the U.S. never became part of the ICC, or adopted the convention on the rights of the child, or other human rights resolutions and treaties. Because they would be extremely legally binding, on the level of the constitution itself. And Americans didn't want to obey those laws.
But the U.S.A.'s treaty with Israel means that, legally, the U.S.A. has to come to Israel's defense when Israel is under threat. Other parts of U.S. law do require the U.S. to withhold military aid from regimes that do war crimes and human rights violations, (which, I mean, with the U.S.'s history I don't know if that's ever been enforced, the U.S. are the ones who put countless dictators into power) but, those laws arent in the constitution, a treaty overrides them. So, legally, when Israel is attacked, like on October 7th, the U.S. is required to do something to come to Israel's aid and ensure Israel's existence.
The Biden administration did start withholding some weapons from Israel this year, but it was clearly too little, too late. For the election and for Gaza both. And after they had already sent thousands of weapons before that.
On the flipside, some of the more progressive democrats in congress ended up losing their primaries for being too critical of Israel, and. I mean, not only would all the fanatical Christians who think Israel needs to exist to end the world join together and vote republican if someone actually did run an anti-Israel campaign. I think a lot of Jewish people, even left-leaning ones like Bernie, would object to the idea of a state where 6 million Jewish people live suddenly not existing?
Like, the more I think about it, and look at everything involved. I am increasingly less certain about what Biden and especially Harris could even have done, with the Gaza situation.
Especially since. And I admit this may be conspiratorial. Mossad and Israeli intelligence supposedly got reports about the October 7th attack beforehand. And Netanyahu's government specifically withdrew security forces from the area, but let the music festival and holiday continue. And all along, while Biden was asking Netanyahu for a ceasefire, pausing some shipments of some weapons, trying to get humanitarian aid in by making new ports. Trump was on Truth social, and apparently even calling Netanyahu privately, telling him to continue.
I dunno, part of me thinks Netanyahu was never going to stop, no matter what Biden said or did, if he thought continuing improved his chances of getting his buddy Trump back instead.
Is she genuinely losing?! How are the democrats so good at losing
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fatuismooches · 2 days ago
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Dottore and his segments get a taste of their own medicine after giving you a job of your own. (In other words, you ignore their need for attention in favor of your work, they get pouty, just like you did.)
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As of late, a peculiar sight had made its way into the lab. Actually, peculiar wasn't even strong enough of a word for the agents to use. They had nearly tripped over their feet once they saw the new area of their working quarters in the lab.
In addition to their Lord Harbinger's desk (that was shared amongst the segments depending on the day), there was now another desk on the opposite side of the room, and the cute decorations on it were quite noticeable. Photo frames and stationery. A comfortable and plush chair with a blanket that dropped over it.
... A plushie version of the Harbinger that laid on Dottore's desk, commissioned by you to motivate him.
(A side thought - the number of desks the Doctor had was something to wonder about. One in the lab, one in the office, one in the bedroom - no wonder things were always scattered around the place. But that was something for another day...)
And most importantly, you, Dottore's spouse, standing next to their Lord, rocking back on your heels nervously as he introduced you as their new co-worker.
It all began when you approached your husband with a very simple request.
"Dottie, I want a job!" You said with enthusiasm, smile as wide and proud as ever. The scientist paused his work and turned to look at you with a blank expression.
"... A job, you say?" You only puffed your chest out more at his confirmation.
"Yes, a job. I mean, being your lover is already a lot of work for my poor back, but I want to actually work with you! With your research and stuff, like the old days!" Your excitement was completely serious and were it not for your health, it would have been infectious for the scholar. Rarely did he ever meet anyone who was truly interested in his work. But of course, certain restrictions have held you back for a long time now.
"We've already been over this. My work is too dangerous for you," the Doctor sighed as he turned back around to continue whatever he was doing.
"I know, I know, but I meant other kinds of stuff. I've been thinking like... a desk job! It doesn't have to be anything dangerous! I could... sort papers for you? Oh, and you have one of those fancy stamps, right? I could stamp them too! I could rewrite your notes... ah, and the best part - I could help you write reports too! You always liked my essays, didn't you?" You were doing your best to provide Dottore with a convincing case, snuggling up against his firm back. Only another sigh escaped your husband, not really that convinced.
"Come on..." you inhaled his familiar scent, tinged with that laboratory smell that never seemed to go away, but somehow brought comfort to you. "I've been so bored lately... and lonely," you muttered the last part pointedly. "I just want some work to take my mind off things!"
Indeed, there was always limited entertainment and pastimes to occupy yourself with. It was especially boring on days you couldn't get out of bed, or when no segment could afford you attention...
"And you know what, I could give those agents of yours some writing tips, too!"
Yes, there had been many times his employees were not up to his standards, despite how many of them fawned over him (for some odd reason)...
"And I'll be helping you too! It's good for everyone."
Of course, you always felt rather good about yourself if you managed to help him, being the Second Harbinger and all...
"I suppose I shall give it some thought-" Before the man could finish his sentence you started squeezing him tightly while hopping in delight.
"Oh, thank you! So, when do I start? Do I get one of your huge desks too?"
"I didn't say yes yet, darling."
"Shh... we both know what you mean!"
And that was how you now clocked in at "work" every day with the agents (later than normal, but you had special privileges.) It was daunting at first for the poor souls, even the ones who secretly admired you from afar (being in the fan club and all.) Even though initially you were merely sorting papers, you were the most important person in that room.
However, soon enough, going to work in this dreary lab became a lot more cheery thanks to your sweet demeanor. Somehow, the atmosphere had become a lot less tense since the last time the segments visited.
The agents had little to no problem speaking to you like a normal person, after you had graciously given them tips on impressing the Harbinger.
"Psst..." you were hovering behind an unsuspecting agent, reading the report she had for Dottore, who jumped at your whisper. "You know, he might click his tongue if you give him that." Although her mask covered her face, you could see that half surprised at how you popped out of nowhere, and half agreeing with your words. Perhaps she felt comfortable enough to spill the situation to you.
"I-I am well aware of that," she deeply sighed, "but no matter what I write, my Lord always seems to be unsatisfied..." You patted her shoulder in sympathy. Having worked with Dottore since the Akademiya days, you knew very well of his distaste for certain things.
"Well, that's why I was hired, friend! To make his and your life easier! See, look here, that's a no-no, he wouldn't appreciate those details, mhm, but this needs to be elaborated on more, uh huh..." Of course, being the good spouse and employee you were, the report was converted into the best one that had ever landed on the Doctor's desk.
On your lunch break, they provided you with some juicy gossip about anything they could get their hands on (the fan club had long reaches, apparently.) Frequently you had to debunk things about Dottore... (the handbook was swiftly revised.)
Needless to say, things seemed to be going well. You looked happier. Motivated. Having new "friends" as your company (that still watched their mouth around you after a single glance from the segments.)
However... an issue arose after a while. One that seemed entirely stupid and impossible.
Now that you were so caught up in your work, when the segments finally had some spare time to come to you, they were... rejected. Yes, they had come to you, fully expecting your devoted attention and kisses that you always gave them without hesitation, but now turned away. (Even more embarrassing, sometimes in front of the agents who kept their eyes glued to their strange chemicals.)
It was Omega, of all segments, who was turned away first. The most confident and charming of the bunch left uncharacteristically silent. He had come up behind you and traced his hands against your neck, always being the one who had no shame in touching you. You only softly giggled at the sensation and caught his hand in yours.
"It seems you've been busy for a while, dear." In truth, it was mostly you seeking him out and not vice versa, but the segment hadn't seen you invading his office in a while. The space had gotten too quiet without you.
"Mhm! But I can't imagine how much work you do. My desk is nowhere as cluttered as yours," you smiled as you felt the segment kiss your lashes.
"What do you say to a break with me?" Omega offered, already knowing what your eager response would be.
"Nah, I can't right now."
...
Your words took a few seconds to process through his head.
"Pardon?"
"I have all this work, 'Mega, and other people need my help," you shrugged your shoulders as you swung your legs. "But don't worry. I'm sure we can spend some time later!" You kissed him on the cheek and pulled your chair in before continuing your work.
Omega, the greatest segment, was reduced to a blankly staring man who had been deprived of his lover's attention for the first time.
He was irritable for the rest of the day.
Beta was next, the poor thing.
You were always the one he blew off steam to, always willing to listen about his gripes and complaints, offering him consolation in the form of kisses and soft words.
However, you hadn't come to visit in so long, the segment was all pent up and now the agents were beginning to fall victim to him.
Fine then - he'd seek you out. Not because he needed you or missed you or anything of the sort. You were just... halting his progress with the lack of your presence. Yes, that was it.
And so the scientist, donning his grand pink bow tie, swung by your desk.
"So this is where you've been? How boring." Beta was not a segment that you'd want to do paperwork. He much preferred to be hands-on.
"Ah, Beta!" You brightened in delight at seeing one of your lovers. "I missed you!" At least you were always honest about your feelings.
... But to cut a long story short, Beta faced the same conundrum that Omega did.
Someone got turned into a floating Ruin Machine that day.
By now all the segments had experienced being turned away from work. Alpha's signature scowl had become permanent. Zandy was pouting the whole day as he missed his parent. Foxttore kept to himself with a pathetic sopping wet eye. His segments were fighting with each other inside his mind, a great nuisance.
All because you were too absorbed with your work to pay them any attention.
... The Doctor was now realizing that it sounded like a very familiar tune sung by you. So this was what you felt for days on end? Now, it was easier for him to understand why you were always upset if you were ignored too much.
Still, it was mortifyingly embarrassing that his segments were reduced to this pitiful state just because you rejected cuddles a few times. Regardless, it was up to him to solve the issue. After all... he missed you too. He wanted you to be around him more often again.
And so the Doctor made his way to his beloved.
There you were, all cozy on your seat as you sorted through some papers. Really, he had no clue you'd be this productive, to be honest. At least it was proof that your health hadn't gotten worse, considering how well you were handling this.
"Aren't you the one who kept saying to take breaks?" His voice made you jump a bit, having not heard him walk up.
"It's you, Dottie! I was wondering when you'd come around. And of course, I take breaks, Dottore. I have lunch with the other agents!" Ah, another party that's been hogging your attention.
"You know, this job has been pretty fun, Dottore! Everyone's real nice, we make jokes, I get to write about interesting things..." You continued to go on about the research and while usually he'd be intrigued by your findings, this time he had enough.
Dottore picked you up like a long cat as you squealed from the sudden grasping.
"What are you doing?!"
"You're coming with me," was his cut and dry response as he lifted you into his arms.
"B-But I have to work on the big report for Pantalone!" Dottore's eye twitched at the mention of the banker.
"Someone else can."
"But I-"
"I'm not listening to anything you say further," he plainly said as he walked with you cuddled into his chest as you gawked at him.
Could he be... jealous? A wee bit lonely? You kept your guesses to yourself as he eventually bought you back to his room and laid you on his bed, not even saying anything to you before sitting at his desk.
Did he simply miss your presence that much? You felt a bit bad neglecting your lovers that much. But to be fair, they kinda did the same... sometimes. You got up to console your silly husband, who was just a man in your hands.
"Hey... I missed you too, dear husband... but I had to make sure no one stole the title of best assistant from me!" Dottore only sighed at your foolishness.
Of course no one could ever replace you.
"I know you'd rather die than admit it... but don't worry. You're lucky I'm sensitive to your feelings," you teased as you kissed the top of his mask. "I'll pay more attention to you and the segments, before they cause another headache for you, love. You'll give me some vacation time off, right?"
You laughed at your own joke before Dottore pulled you into his lap, biting down hard on your neck.
"Beloved, would you care to join me in discussing your work?"
"You fool, they're obviously coming to my lab to activate a new Ruin Machine."
"But [Name] is supposed to play with me today!!"
"As if, they're far too busy to join you all with your silly games."
"You all will stress them out with this arguing. Now, why don't you join me instead for a cup of coffee instead?"
"Grr, gr gr, grr!"
It was good to be loved so deeply.
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jinwoosbabyboo · 18 hours ago
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Watch Your Mouth
Dealing with someone talking shit about your man and you stand up for them because you're not about to let someone talk crazy about your man. A/N: I like to imagine this as an office girly scene and you have that one hater ass bitter coworker [Requested by: onliafaze]
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Zayne
You could tell you were coming down with a cold and it was going to be a bad one. Zayne just so happened to have the day off and you were struggling to make it through your last shift before your days off. So being the loving boyfriend that he is, he brought you homemade soup and some cold medicine. He even kissed you before leaving not caring that you might get him sick as well. Just another reason to spend the day in bed with you. You sat at your desk with the biggest smile on your face. Suddenly a bitch with a voice like nails on a chalk board decided to insert herself into your bubble.
Hater: If you took better care of yourself your man wouldn’t have to waste his time coming all the way here to bring you soup MC: Weren't you sick last month and your man told you he was going to leave until you were healthy again and proceeded to ignore you for a week? Hater: ..... MC: Just because your man doesn’t care about you doesn’t mean you need to project on me Hater: I’m not projecting! MC: ………Whatever helps you sleep at night miss girl
Once you get home to tell Zayne what happened when he left, him being the sensible person that he is, suggests that maybe your coworker was just in a bad mood.
MC: Don't defend her Zayne: Sorry I meant her man hates her MC: Thank you
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Rafayel
Rafayel truly had eyes for you and you only. He cared very little for others feelings you were the one and only exception. He also hated to be touched so when your coworker saw you constantly having a hand on him, when he would come by the office, she thought she’d try her luck. Rafayel immediately looked at her like she smeared the most vile thing known to man on his arm.
Hater: Your man is rude as hell MC: To you. Hater: No he’s just rude MC: To you. Hater: Why just me MC: You’re weird … who grabs on another woman's man right in front of her? You’re weird Hater: You’re rude as hell too you guys are made for each other MC: Cry about it
Rafayel stared at you in admiration while you told him what went down after he left.
Rafayel: Have I ever told you how hot you are when you get serious? MC: Yes all the time
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Xavier
“Damn it I left my tea in my car” You had gotten all the way up to your desk when you realized what you were forgetting. On top of that it was cold so you were dreading having to walk in it again. Maybe you could make a cup in the office kitchen, but they only have sugar and you prefer honey; you prefer your tea. “I’ll go grab it for you just stay here and warm up” Xavier said as he appeared next to you with that soft expression he always has when he looks at you. “Thank you Xav you’re so sweet” You handed him your keys and watched as he quickly made his way out of the office before turning and smiling to yourself.
Hater: What is he a dog? Does he do everything for you? MC: ….. You know if your man hates you just say that Hater: M-my man doesn’t hate me w-why would you say that? MC: Look at you stuttering and shit did I hit a nerve? Hater: Whatever MC: Have the day you deserve babes!
Xavier approached you right as your coworker barged past him almost knocking the tea from his hand. He looked back with confusion etched across his face before turning back to you.
Xavier: What happened? MC: She was just admiring the relationship we have Xavier: What really happened? MC: She wanted smoke so I gave her a barbecue
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Sylus
Thanks to Sylus wanting to spoil you at all time your office was the most decorated with all new everything and was even professionally designed to be organized and efficient. People loved to come by and admire your office set up. Except for one person who just seems to turn her nose up at you. She pouts for hours on end when Sylus makes his appearance to bring you lunch, flowers or even a ‘just because’ gift when he wants to see you. You ignored this bitter coworker day in and day out because why would you need the kind of negativity in your life? One day though she finally decided to voice her unwanted opinion to you.
Hater: You only have all of that because your man buys you everything MC: Yea … he does … tell your man to work harder Hater: That is so insensitive what if I'm single? MC: I can see why….. Hater: What's that supposed to mean!? MC: You're insufferable I wouldn't date you either
Sylus always found your attitude cute and it was even better when it wasn't directed at him.
Sylus: You said she was insufferable? MC: Somebody had to do it Sylus: and you were the perfect one for the job huh? MC: I was defending you praise me Sylus: I've never been defended before thank you Princess
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ruyakasunshine · 2 days ago
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F1 drivers rated on how likely they are to know what ao3 is
note : this is just for entertainment. I will also use this to make a general reminder not to get anything fanfic/rpf related outside of sites such as tumblr, ao3, or wattpad. Enjoy!
This is just the current grid, because if I had to do it with every driver that raced this season, I'd get a surprisingly high amount of drivers to talk about.
20. Fernando
Grandpa. Need I to say more?
19. Checo
In a recent GQ Sport interview, he revealed that he didn't even have social media on his phone. I'd be surprised to hear he has any ao3 tab open up there.
18. K-mag
I don't feel like I need to explain this one. But I also believe that if Haas got him to read a chapter of a wattpad fanfic out loud where he has to replace Y/N with his own name after every penalty point he gets, he would have stopped causing so much ruckus. Or he might even cause more, who knows what goes on inside his mind.
17. Nico Hulk
Hear me out, he doesn't know what a fanfic is, but if he were more popular with the writer, he'd read the shit out of those.
16. Valterri
I could pay actual money to hear him read a 'kidnapped by one direction' self insert story out loud. If there is any Sauber intern lurking here, please consider. Wattpad as a sponsor would bring you a lot of money, think about it. I promise you will see a rise in your fandom if the name of the team was "wattpad kick sauber". I would buy merch. You need the money the way the constructors are going. Think about it.
15. Lance
I don't know too much about him, but I will assume he doesn't spend too much time on social media, or googling himself with all the hate he gets. But maybe if he were to read a strollonso fanfic, we might get to see him have actual expressions on his face. Granted, that would be a look of horror, but I will take what I can.
14. Carlos
I think he might combust if he read any ABO fanfic. I might want to see that.
13. Max
He is too busy sim racing to care. Good for him, I wish I could say the same about myself but alas I am too busy reading the same fanfic for the 23th time.
12. Yuki
I believe if you pronounced the term "Y/N" next to him he might assume that's a car brand. Or, like, hello in a foreign language. Again, good for him.
11. Zhou
Hear me out, fanfics seem to be quite popular in China, and he has a sister, there is no way he hasn't heard of the existences of it. I don't think he has read any though, which is for the better.
10. Franco
Our dear Franquito hasn't been on the grid for long enough to discover the amazing word that fanfics have to offer, but let me tell you that if he hasn't found out stuff yet, he'll find some soon enough. Let the writers have time to write a little bit more about him, and soon we'll get an instagram live of him reacting to those.
9. Liam
I think he is young enough to have googled himself (he had to find something to do since he's been a reserve driver since like the year 2010), but he also hasn't been a permanent member, so he might not have enough material to accidentally stumble upon.
8. Esteban
He googles himself. He knows there are fanfics. And he fucking likes that. If there is a rise of pierresteban fics on ao3 after Brazil 2024, he will be the first one to know let me tell you that much.
7. Lewis
Okay you might be wondering why this senior citizen is up here, and the answer is simple : he is too famous not to know. Like COME ON. He's been here since 2007 (which is longer than some people who'll see this post have been alive for— that's a scary thought for another day), he has been in famous and televised rivalry, and he has to live with the existence of the quote "everything but a lover" about nico and him.
There is no way he hasn't READ a fucking brocedes fanfic. If he is willing, I will teach him how to use ao3 so he can look-up some "fix-it" fics. He might use some inspiration, and who is better for that than tired college students writing about their sad ass in between lectures?
6. George
He seems like the type to lurk a lot around the internet, so the chances of him finding the link to a fic on the third page of google isn't impossible to me.
If you find any comment of someone correcting your spelling, you know who did it.
5. Pierre
He probably googles his name too often not to have stumbled upon a "Reader x Pierre Gasly" wattpad fanfic. sigh.
4. Alex
Alex, I know that you are the second most likely to have tumblr (right after george who actually has an account). The chances of you knowing what a "lemon" is is way too high for my liking.
3. Charles
The C in Charles stands for Chronically Online. My boy was known for liking tweets about himself, and we know that fans talk about fanfics on twitter. He clicked on a link of a lestappen or sebchal fanfic at least once out of curiosity let me tell you this much.
2. Lando
Too chronically online not to have read fanfics about himself. I just know he typed in "lando norris fanfiction" straight in google at least once. Jail.
1. Oscar
Here me out : his sister is a K-pop fan. If you believe that she never yapped about a fanfic she read to her brother, you are strongly unfamiliar with sibling relationships. But the chances of him not listening to her are also very high, so maybe he shouldn't be so high up my list. But oh well.
He is also good at hiding his game, but he is as online as Charles (you thought you were sneaky but we caught you clicking on that link of Max playing air-hocket dear Osc.)
For my own mental health though, I will assume he hasn't read about his own self yet.
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mrsriddlenott · 2 days ago
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okay I just need pussydrunk mattheo 🥵
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It is honestly embarrassing how long this has been in my drafts unfinished(literally a few days over a year🤦‍♀️) I have been awol for so long but I have been GOIN through it y’all. I think I can finally at least try and actually come back to this blog. I love writing so much and I hate when it just isn’t fun anymore. And when I saw this I actually got excited to finish it so let’s see how it goes. Please correct mistakes and give feedback
Warnings: suggestive content but not actually full smut, public oral(f!receiving), heavy petting, play argument/kinda roleplay, some teasing.
{masterlist}
~Needy~
To plenty of people having a needy boyfriend would be the end of the world. But when that boyfriend is Mattheo Riddle, who seems to have an unnaturally high labido and stamina, it’s more of a pro rather than a con.
But what comes with needy is clingy. Mattheo just needs his hands on you whenever he can. You weren’t complaining but he certainly was. There was just too much time out of the day that he couldn’t touch you. So me made sure to cut thay time down as much as he could.
“Come oooon Baby” Mattheo groaned as he tugged you towards an empty, shadow filled corridor, “Just think about it, how many days a week do we have Potions, and how many weeks are in a term, how many terms in a school year….we can miss one hour of Potions Baby it’ll be fine. Plus you’re the smartest, prettiest, hottest person at this school you’ve got options for you future.”
“Um first of all,” You start, crossing your arms across your chest, poking your hip out to make Mattheo groan out loud as he restrains himself from touching you, “This will be the fourth time we missed Potions so far this term, and second of all who said I was worried for my future, nuh uh Baby I’m worried about yours.”
“Merlin you’re sexy when you’re being all bossy”Mattheo sighs, stepping closer to you and fanning your face with his breath, “I don’t care about my future as long as you’re in it, I need to keep you excited don’t I Princess?” He laughs out as he watches your resolve melt away, moving his hand up to grip your waste.
“That’s no fair.” You pout, desperately trying to hold a straight face as you continue, “You know you’re not allowed to call me Princess in an argument, you always win with that.” Mattheo sighs dramatically and steps even closer to you, breathing your air as he holds your hip tightly, tugging you into him aggressively.
“I’m so sorry baby, please forgive me,” He begs dramatically, smiling before dipping his head into the crook beside your shoulder to trace small pecks across your collarbone, forcing a moan to slip past your lips despite your pretend protests.
“How could I ever forgive you for such a lapse Mattheo,” you smile at how fast he halts his mouths assault of your collarbone giving you time to slip your fingers into his raven curls, giving them a tug to force his eyes up to yours, “You know, I can think of something you can do to earn my forgiveness.”
“What?” He rasps out, his breath caught in his chest at the feeling of your hand in his hair and the other slowly slipping down his chest at an agonizing pace, “What can I do to make you feel better Baby, I’ll do anything for you, you know that.” His voice his breathy and desperate, sending heat down your abdomen as your thighs squeeze together subconsciously. At the gentle shove to his shoulder, Mattheo knew exactly what you wanted, smirking as you looked down to him where he leant into you with those pretend innocent eyes. Mattheo fell to his knees immediately, his hands tracing their way under your skirt while his eyes stay on yours.
“Is this what you’re asking for…Princess?” Mattheo asks, smirking as he gains dominance from below you, “You want me to make you feel good?���.But Baby what about Potions, we-we can’t miss class i-it’s impo-“ You cut off his teasing with a tug to his hair and small sigh at the feeling of his hand ghosting across your underwear. Mattheo groans, his eyes falling into the back of his head as your fingers tighten in his hair.
“Okay okay, I’ve got you Princess.” He laughs breathlessly as his fingers tug your underwear down your legs, allowing you to step out of them before he shoves them in his pocket with a wink. In a flash Mattheo has his lips on you, his head vanishing under your skirt, his hand trailing upward to squeeze at your chest through your button up, the other gripping your thigh to give you support as you begin to wobble.
“Oh fuck Mattheo,” You moan loudly before clamping your hand over your mouth, almost forgetting your very public location at the feeling of Mattheo’s tongue meticulously swirling around your clit. His chuckle from below almost pisses you off enough to fight for dominance but as though to wipe your mind of it, Mattheo flattens his tongue and leaves a strip up your heat, making you whimper into your hand and bite your skin to prevent getting caught.
You shake as Mattheo’s fingernails dig into the skin of your thigh while it wobbles, unsteady as you begin to lose balance at the fast pace of Mattheo’s tongue, “Fuck Baby, can you stand or do I need to hold you?” He chuckles against you at your whine of protest, not wanting him to stop even for a second. Mattheo quickly tugs your thigh over his shoulder, allowing him to gain more access, speeding up his actions, moaning at your taste and the thought of you coming on his face as you depend on him to hold you steady. Your head falls back against the stone wall, your eyes rolling backward as your hand falls to his shoulders for balance not caring anymore about your volume. Your little whimpers and squeaks drive him insane below you, he knows your close, he can feel it.
Without warning Mattheo shifts lower, shoving his tongue into you, lowering his hand from your chest in a flash and using his thumb to stimulate your clit as his tongue moves in and out of you, matching his own pace and groaning as he feels your legs begin to shake for him. Your moans become screams as you release on his tongue, falling into his hold while he rises to look at your post-orgasm face he loves so much.
“Good thing we did this during class, someone might have heard otherwise.” Mattheo says simply with a laugh as you weakly smack at his broad shoulder.
~~~~
Pretty short compared to others I have but I just really wanted to start posting again. I’m probably gonna be cleaning out my drafts and trying to get them out even old ones ppl probably aren’t waiting on anymore to try and get back into a groove on here.
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emmyrosee · 21 hours ago
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Keiji is absolutely nothing if not an attentive, knowing husband.
He’s good, he’s good at the whole marriage thing, knowing what makes you tic and what makes you purr, your anniversaries and outings and just being an absolute maniac when it comes to knowing all about you.
So imagine your complete, your total, your absolute horrific discovery to find out that today, he’s not home.
There’s no flowers, no note, no chaotic breakfast that Mei insisted on making you with Keiji- she claims today is her favorite holiday- and there’s nothing.
Not one of those things, on this birthday of yours.
To be honest, you don’t really mind, he’s one for… however many years you’ve known him, he was bound to forget it at some point (you certainly know you’ve had a few close calls), it just feels strange to have a birthday just with you and not your loving husband or eager daughter.
You stretch, yawn and slowly get out of bed, making your way to the kitchen to prepare for your day off, eager to spend some time alone and not have to worry about anything until you pick up your four year old.
Who is just as surprised as you at Keiji’s forgetting. Who takes a vendetta against Keiji for forgetting.
“You mean daddy didn’t take care of you today?” She says sadly. “That’s not nice of him…”
You giggle, “it’s okay, it’s just one day, yeah?”
“But!” She whines. “I made you a card! ‘Nd we should have a cake! And a birffday party!”
You shrug as you continue to strap her in, “well, sometimes, things don’t exactly pan out like we’d expect them to. And that’s okay! Besides,” you take out your credit card and flash it to Mei, “now we can have a girls day, yeah? Brag to daddy all about it.”
She beams up at you, and you finish buckling her into her seat.
Nails have been painted, delicious pastries for dessert have been picked, a cake to be baked and decorated has been prettied up, and now, all you can do is wait for Keiji to come home and witness all the fun he’d missed today.
Sure enough, 15:34 rolls around, and Keiji comes through the door, sleepy smile on his face and jacket shrugging off of his shoulders. “Hey, my girls.”
“Hey,” you hum, making your way over to him. You toss your arms around his neck and pucker your lips out for a kiss, which he tenderly returns. “How was work?”
“Exhausting,” he says with a small whine. “So glad to be home with the two loves of my life.” He smiles and kisses you again, only to then make eye contact with his daughter, who eyes him in a scold. He crouches down and reaches out to pinch her cheeks, only for her to dodge him slightly.
“And how’s my favorite little-“
“Hmph!”
Immediately, Keiji is cut off by the sound of your four year old’s disapproval, and he watches with a displeased furrow as she stomps her foot with crossed arms and turns away from him. His jaw is slacked, at the mercy of Mei and your attempts to not cackle out loud.
His eyes, filled with incredulous confusion flick back up to you in search for your assistance in correcting her attitude, but you say nothing. Instead, you place your hands on your hips and look down your nose at him.
He straightened his back and took a deep inhale for patience, “excuse me?”
“I said:” once again, Mei stomps her foot and crosses her arms tighter over her tiny chest, “hmph!”
“Have i upset you, Mei?” He asks, crouching lower to try and get her to open up to him. “Is there something you need to tell me?”
“You should know,” she snips.
God she’s so cute, you could just bite her.
Keiji, right now however, may disagree with that sentiment.
“I don’t think I like this attitude, little miss-“
“Not my fault you didn’t wish mommy happy birffday today!” Mei pouts, and instantly, Keiji’s brows shoot up, from anger to surprise. When he turns to look at you in confirmation, your expression turns from one of amusement, to faux anger to match Mei’s. His gaze softens, and he reaches his hands out to you for your affection.
“R…Really?”
“Really really,” you confirm. “I was super surprised our four year old and Koutarou remembered before you did.”
All the color drains from his face, and for a moment your expression softens as he looks like he’s about to faint right in front of you. “Kou…Koutarou remembered?”
“Honestly all of the Jackals did- Kiyoomi even sent me a card that’s due to come.” The detail, all though a little unnecessary, again makes him deflate, and even if your intentions are cruel, he looks so cute trying to grovel for forgiveness.
“Baby… my love… I’m so, so sorry-“
“You should be,” you huff, crossing your arms dramatically. “It’s a good thing I had Mei to keep me company all day, apparently she’s the only Akaashi who loves me.”
“Yeah!” Mei’s voice echos behind Keiji. It makes him snort and drop his head against your shoulder, palms smoothing up your hips and sides in an attempt to be affectionate, though the action only has you melting into his embrace.
“I’m so sorry,” he hums from your neck, peppering soft kisses along the length. Your breath hitches and your own hands come up to rest on his own shoulders. “Is there anything I can do to make up for it?”
“Absolutely not,” you say, giggling softly when he tenses up, then looking up it you in betrayal. “I want ramen. I want ice cream and chips, and I want to watch classic Disney movies as a family, and I want to do those cute panda face masks Mei got us for our anniversary with Koutarou.”
“Okay… okay I can do that; what kind of chips?”
“All of them.”
“You got it.” With that, Keiji kisses your cheek and quickly turns on his heal to head back out to the corner store to stock up on everything you asked for.
“Mommy?” Mei asks, tugging your pant leg.
“What baby?”
“Are you mad at daddy?”
You smile and ruffle her hair, bending down to pick her up and help you set up the rest of your birthday wishes.
“Couldn’t be mad at daddy even if I wanted to be.”
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