#but we cant put that there till we have one that matches it so theres one on each side

[cannibalisticskittles]

@fangmich @wasserplane

neat, right??

the fish art is from jasminesillustration (who threw in an extra risographic frog print too!)

the four 8x10s are by sonia lazo, who also did the giant clown pictures we have in the living room and, like, at LEAST half a dozen other pictures i have in my room (truly can't get enough of their art)

the bubblegum clowns are by kitschybitz, who JUST put out a listing for these, like, fried egg coasters that we might get, as well as tons of other things i covet, seriously what a fun style

and my sister painted the big shocked clown painting (and used herself as the reference!) and carved a stamp print thing to make the picture of my clown doll!

and i've just realized that this doesn't show off the OTHER big clown she painted, which i was the reference for and which can be seen on the left here

[dreamerwitches]

Who wants to overanalyse the teensy bit of witch content with me???

Albertine’s looks like it has the purple eye from her boss arena, the letter blocks, crayons and of course the green walls. It looks like theres a blue bow at the top of the door like the ones on her outfit. There might be flowers on the middle left?

Uhrmann’s is pretty obvious. Bartels on either side, her mane and sparkles.

Elly has the red carnival tents, the blue of her labyrinth, horses, eyes and stripey poles. It looks like the door has an angel halo, one wing and maybe a ghost horse on the top left. It looks like arms on either sides of the door but i cant tell

Charlotte’s the usual. Bottle, food, forks.

Elsie has one new interesting bit and that’s the window on the bottom right. Makes me think we’ll get a labyrinth part in a church??

Zenobia doesn’t look like much new. The door is modelled after her hair though! Cute!!

Gertrud definitely looks more episode 1 than 2 to me. More the dark area compared to the oranges of episode 2’s. But from the last trailer, we will still be getting that second one. I suppose her labyrinth is so vast its hard to put into one without looking messy.

Im gonna leave our mystery witch till last…

I didnt recognise Gisela’s until pointed out (what a fake fan) but she’s a pretty one note theme huh. Ill be excited to see an expansion from her portable labyrinth. Streetlights, stop sign, headlights, a fence from portable, rusty bits and i think a wheel on the bottom left. Ahh i just realised the centre bit is a speed dial!

Suleika!! (Or ulla but pleeaassee suleika!!) I see a jungle gym, a thing that looks like a virus, geometry, clouds, lamps and ulla heads. Her kiss is spirally… not what i expected. I just had a terrible thought though… her door is much smaller than the others… please dont just be ulla….

Oktavia’s wooden door matches the one that leads to her boss room. Theres the conductor holger, oktavia’s pink ruffles, swords and insignia from her chair and tail. I think the bit behind the conductor is more holger

Now our mystery witch!!! I see a skeleton hand, a bone, fluff/clouds, puffballs, maybe a cross on the right?. The kiss seems to have needles and it looks like polka dots or blood splatters on the door. I cant particularly make out what the thing on the top left is. I wanna say letters? Or certificates? It looks like theres either a tiara or a hat around the top left too. Its very intriguing

[ddejavvu]

mvm! maybe poly!maraudeers with a wispy, cute, fae-like reader! mischievous but well meaning, sly and sweet; reader definitely tries to trick one/all into giving their names all the time, so she can keep hardcore courting them and they can belong to each other. its a fae thing, and faes like coveting pretty things :] mainly thinkin abt slyly courting them in ways they absolutely do not notice at first, till like, remus decides to read up and study on fae behaviour, and he has an ‘oh’ moment

cute little tidbits that i love :) - shes notrious for managing to steal away pretty little trinkets, and its well known how much faes love and protect their treasures, so as a courting tactic, she gives (im thinking more along the lines of james) some really pretty blueish seaglass because it matches his eyes! sirius definitely flirts cheesily, saying he can be her treasure/pretty thing, she could steal HIM away, and readers just like.. “thats the plan :]”. another little thought.. she definitely manages to actually, genuinely, physically fluster even sirius sometimes, like, she'll make an offhand comment about like, how cute his babies will be if they get his nose! or his pretty cheekbones! and sirius sits there like :]

okay so we all had a tinkerbell phase as kids right? the animated movies of pixie hollow? well, thats how i imagine reader dresses too, however out of place it may seem - like how adults go disney bounding as their fav character, she`ll do that in public but she still has a very fae-ish outfit and look about her. and i cant begin to tell you how obsessed remus is with this. like, hes got his scars that are usually one of the first things people glue their eyes to, but with you next to him? they focus on the suspiciously authentic bag made of large green leafs, or the numerous flowers braided into your hair constantly, or the way you smell so divine, like lavender and honey, or vanilla and forest wood, or the way your eyes are so captivating that they cant help but feel a pull towards you (fae characteristics <3). on another note, you CANNOT TELL ME that big, sweetheart, ‘sometimes head empty brrrr’ james potter does not stare off into space sometimes, lip between his teeth, eyes glazed over and a bit widened, lazer focused on how your thighs look spilling out of your leaf dress (maybe a dress like tinkerbells - short and earthy and sweet, as a little visual aid :) ) the man just wants to bite, like actually bite the fat and grip your hips with his big hands and let his brain go dead. this phenomenon is made especially apparent when you discover lingerie and how pretty so much of it is!! the sweet lace and the cute cups and theres so. many. designs. you must get opinions all round on every single piece. probably wind up with them all suddenly being marvellously busy though, theyll walk through the door, spot the store bags from victorias secret on the couch, and beeline right back out. they physically just.. cannot. they cant put themselves through that and come out unaffected on the other side.

maybe she gets a bit worried/downtrodden one day and ofc they notice. the issue? “why arent you guys accepting my courting?? am i doing it wrong? its my first time so idk if im doing it right :((“ james definitely was clueless up until this point, no matter how many times both sirius and remus have hinted that shes been doing this, but for some reason, hes the only one who knows how to properly navigate this situation. he, quick as a whip, snags a pair of his old, broken, beaten up glasses and presses em into her hand - an offering, a courting recipricant, a trinket!!! - with the biggest smile on his face. the glasses have so much tape around the middle, one of the legs are hanging off, and the lenses are almost smashed entirely, but one mans trash is another mans treasure :DD readers just like “oh :)) thanks :))”, probably a little breathy and shy but with a beaming smile to match because give the girl a break, its her first time recieving a courting trinket of all things!! its like, the human equivilent of snogging someone before holding their hand!!

i only know little things about fae from stuff ive read in the past, but this is just an interpretation based on common things i can remember about them, if any of it is inaccurate im sorry!

(any time i send any of these little paragraphs in, i dont expect anything in return btw! its mainly just like, emptying the trashcan of thoughts in my head into a space where someone else might enjoy em! like, yk, here u go! read this like its ur a 1950s husband reading the newspaper in the morning! lmao makes no sense but then at least the little imaginations and ideas dont get lost into the world of my brain and someone else can have at em :) )

baby!!! i am not educated enough on fae aus to write one (at least, not yet) so i will be more reacting to this than i am adding to it but let me just tell you that i loved reading it!! i mean it when i say that every time you send something into my inbox i thoroughly enjoy it, i swear you write me your own little fanfictions and they're the highlights of my day no matter who they're about <33333

SGSNDF THEY'D BE SO SMUG IF THEY FOUND OUT THEY WERE 'PRETTY THINGS' TO YOU... they keep all of your little gifts tucked into their pockets except they might need a new home because you're just always giving them more and they can't fit them all in their pockets!!

YES REMUS AND HIS LITTLE FAIRY GF :'))) UGHHH he definitely spoils her with pretty jewelry and things to wear and bags to carry and he'll learn to make flower crowns just for her :'))

SGSDNFNSF YES fashion show!! you twirl around and show off the skimpy little sets you'd bought and everyone needs a very long, intensive cold shower after the fact </33

AWWW JAMES'S GLASSES :')) he blames it on the fact that he's overly sentimental that he even still has them, but he's so glad he never tossed them as he watches your eyes shine and your breath hitch when he presents you with them :') sirius probably gives you a guitar pick of his and remus lets you have a pretty bookmark of his with a little golden tassel on it :')

i want you to know that i fully plan on answering every single ask you send/have sent me, they are always so fantastic and i know i still have a few but i just reread two of them the other day and got all giddy and excited to expand on it so trust me i know there's no pressure but i want to do them anyways!!! seriously you make my day with these they're probably my favorite type of asks to get is like full stories :')) thank you for being so sweet all the time and thank you for sharing your ideas with me!!!!

[dapperrokyuu]

Round 3 Teaser Analysis

So I wanted to drop my thoughts on Round 3’s teaser before it drops tomorrow because I have tons of them, actually! Ivan as a character is currently very intriguing and mysterious for me because my speculation of his personality when Sweet Dream released has been destroyed pretty much due to Till showing off his own character, lol. For the sake of simplicity, we will go in scene order of the teaser, refraining from showing every single frame despite me thinking theyre all very interesting. Lets go!!!

So the teaser starts off showing a group of kids and an alien on a rooftop, with one child being held off the edge of the roof. The alien then looks over to who we presume is Ivan, and then we see Ivan staring up at the sky, as it is reflected in his eyes.

I personally think this part is the most ambiguous. Why are these kids on the rooftop? Why are they being held over the edge? They could be getting threatened, but why? Potentially, they could be getting disposed of. Theres a sense of secrecy with the scene being set at night and in seclusion. I do think Ivan is at least held over the edge, as him looking at the sky is alluding to how he may have thought itd be the last thing hed see.

This is a very reaching theory, but I had this thought so I might as well put it. Im also open to the possibility that those children were being tested for their “durability.” These thoughts have quieted a bit, but with the allusion of humans being viewed by aliens as how humans typically view their pets (information from a livestream that can be viewed here), the concept of designer babies, genetic engineering, and purebreds come to mind. And with how ultimately, aliens still treat their pets worse than humans treat theirs (along with the hierarchy nature of alien society in general also from that livestream), a sense of general sadism and/or pure disregard for “pets” that dont live up to an alien’s expectations comes to mind–both notions implied with the very notion of Alien Stage itself. The presence of genetic engineering could exist to create the perfect prized human “pet,” and durability could be a valuable criteria. If a lowly human cant survive a drop off a building, well…who cares! Is the thought, lol.

Another frame that contributes to this idea is…

Here you can see Ivan being presented with tattered clothes (from being thrown off a roof, perhaps? A potential past rebellious streak like Till? The other kids have their clothes intact…). Theres an alien announcer beside him, and theres information presumably about Ivan on a screen. So theyre showing him off, and theres features that are notable about him. Maybe its purely appearance, maybe even his “cry” quality. And since the purebred showdog image is comparable once more, maybe theres genetic engineering involved? A friend pointed out the cards in the forefront of the frame, and we both agreed that this scene may be an auction.

Thus, Ivan gets out of Some Situation somehow, and is put on auction to be bought by his current “master” (dont know a good word for this, lol), who we can assume is wealthy due to the abundance of food in the frame after. I personally assume his current master is this alien shown at the end of the teaser, as they are highlighted in this frame and Round 3 could be expanding on that aspect of the ALNST universe. Returning to sequential order, this assumption of mine is actually confirmed with the frame of Ivan (I assume) winning his first prize and being petted by his master. The black tie, red shirt, white scarf-like thing, and hand matches between the two images.

If this werent interesting enough, we move on to an event between Ivan, Till, and Mizi…

This entire instance is the most revealing of Ivan’s character so far, as the teaser until now depicts Ivan as stoic (beyond scared from being held off a roof). Ivan lets Till pass him into a corridor (more on this later), and while Till is preoccupied on chasing down whats likely a flower gift for Mizi, Ivan follows behind him. Calmly. Unconcerned.

This isnt a question of whether the corridor is unusual; its no secret from the environments in My Clematis and Sweet Dream that a significant amount of time is spent in simulation spaces. So theres very much a possibility that all the cast are aware and comfortable with these corridors. But if not–which I still think is a possibility due to whats found at the end of the corridor–how Ivan just lets Till go into unknown territory demonstrates a lack of concern for Till. The lack of surprised or curious reaction from Ivan himself shows his awareness of the space too.

(Tbf, the Sua and Hyuna frames in Sweet Dream are a bit of theory on my end, but I cannot explain the literal "texture.png"s on the hallway in Hyuna's frame otherwise, and Sua's frame would allude to how she was always aware of Alien Stage's circumstances.)

Anyways, Ivan finds Mizi and Till in what one could assume is a dangerous situation: an alien before them, while Till is crouched upon the ground. I personally interpret the scenario as Till finding Mizi, assumes shes in danger, tries to protect her, and gets hurt. I actually have thoughts about Mizi here, but this is already long enough, lol. And Ivan notably…does nothing. As close as he may be depicted to be with Till in other ALNST content, Ivan does not lift a finger to try and help him. He sticks back, waits, and sees.

Of course, we recognized that the situation resolved fine somehow, since all three are alive in present times.

The teaser ends with Ivan’s round starting, and some aliens look at him in anticipation and/or awe with his master (above). Whether you want to humor my silly designer baby theory or mayhaps its a product of Ivan’s rewards from his youth, all the aliens seem to have high expectations for him. All eyes are on him.

I have some potential thoughts about Ivan and Mizi’s dynamic, but thatll be in another post with my Mizi thoughts, probably. Currently, I view Ivan as someone whose brush with death as a kid leads him to prioritize his survival. The culmination of his life prior to that experience, the auction, and being rewarded for getting rewards has led him to become Very Cutthroat regarding competition–for the sake of survival and likely being treated better than if the alternative happens. To apply this idea to the scene above, I think he wouldve been completely fine if both Mizi and Till died at that moment. Otherwise, he would observe what they could do in tough situations; thats why he was so attentive.

Cultivating his survival skills more has likely taught him to be more emotive in his present form, in order to better appeal to his alien audience. As of now, he likely feels in control of his situation and emotions, but that will probably change once he kills Till, as I currently predict (I used to think the opposite, haha!).

If you read this far, thanks for listening, wow, lol. Have a wonderful day!

[moonlit-mizukage]

Chapter twenty-two: 11 things I hate about you 

Summary: Y/l/n Y/n, a third year at Sakura High School, is just a girl with a bad attitude towards anyone outside her small circle. When y/n’s younger sister starts first year, she gains a lot of attention. Unfortunately for everyone in school, the Y/l/n household has one rule, No dating till y/n does. Some people become just desperate enough to pay the leader of the “Monsters”, the trouble making group on campus, to date y/n. What will happen when she finds out? (All characters aged up to third year unless otherwise stated)

Tw: Swearing, fights, violence, oikawa piece of shit, black eye, teachers a dick, crying 

Word Count: 1.3K

An: So theres only 8 more chapters left of this story :0 I cant belive its almost done. I will be making a pull for my next idea maybe on chapter 26!!

An part2: Sorry my poem is so bad ugehgvy Tumblr wouldn’t let me format it nice so it is italicized !!

_______________________________________________________________

Third person pov- Time skip tp Monday 

Y/n closed her locker as Tendou was standing behind the door. 

“What the fuck do you want Tendou?” 

“Please just hear me out Y/n. It really isn’t what it seems.” 

“You took the money Tendou. You got paid to date me. So step the fuck back. I don’t want to be late to class.” 

“Y/n… Let me explain, please.” 

“See you in English if you decide to go again asshole.” She pushed past him and headed to where Shirabu was. 

“What did he want?”

“Just to try and make up some shit probably. I don’t have time for assholes.” 

“Speaking of assholes, you know how you showed me that shit from Oikawa at your place?” 

“Did he already try something?” 

“He walked up to me and apologized to my face.” Shirabu said. 

“Are you for real? He really talked a big load of shit about it and then took 5 steps and gave up.” Y/n said with a laugh. 

The two walked in the direction of their first period as Tendou walked outside to the underside of the bleachers where the Monsters hang out. 

“Guess... you look like shit. Where the hell were you all weekend?” Hanamaki asked.

“Nowhere.” He said as he lit his cigarette. The others looked around at each other. They know something was off with him. 

Second period came quick and Tendou ventured into his class today on the off chance Y/n would give him even the shred of attention. 

“Good morning class, Oikawa I need you to take off those sunglasses you are inside after all.” Mr Yagami said. Oikawa removed the glasses to reveal a large balck eye beneath them. 

“Looks like someone finally got tired of your shit Oikawa.” The teacher said with a laugh. “Well would anyone like to be the first one to present their writing piece today?” Y/n raised her hand faster than anyone else. “Ah Mrs. Y/l/n. Please come up to the front.” 

She stood up as she grabbed her notebook from her desk. She walked to the front of the room and made direct eye contact with Tendou in the back. 

“Start when you are ready Mrs. Y/l/n.” The teacher said, giving her permission to begin. She took a deep breath. 

“I hate the way you approach me, and the way you have so much confidence about it 

I hate how you made me give you a chance, only to show me your true intentions so much later, 

I hate your dumb hair cut and  how proud you are after spending all that time to style it. 

I hate how you call me babe and how you could easily change my mind about things, 

I hate your dumb motorcycle and how you drive it when I am with you, 

I hate how you never texted or called, not even left me an email.

I hate when I was upset with you, you knew exactly how to cheer me up with your dumb smile,

I hate how you knew I would fall for you from the start and you even called it, 

I hate how you made me laugh like I never experienced before. 

I hate how everything you told me was based on a lie,” 

She took a deep breath, tears began to flow from her eyes at that moment. 

“I hate how you made me fall for you but your feelings were only a big dumb lie, 

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you...

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

She slammed her book closed and grabbed her bag as she ran from the class room, now sobbing.   

Tendou stood up as he chased after her but she was already gone from the halls without a trace of her presence even being there. 

Oikawa appeared behind him.  

“Looks like your nickname was more accurate then I could have ever thought.” Tendou turned around as he grabbed Oikawa’s shirt. He slammed him into the locker behind him. Before anyone even had the chance to blink, Kyotani and Terushima were behind him. 

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but once highschool is over you will be nothing. Enjoy being a piece of shit for a little more time before we knock you down a few, monster style, you asshole. You fucked with the wrong man’s paradise. You will pay for it. How about another black eye to match the one Mei gave you hmm? I think that is honestly too nice to do.” He slammed his back again before he threw him to the ground and spit on him. Tendou stormed out the other two Monsters now joined the three that were there as they all left the building. 

Lunch time- small time skip 

Y/n was seated at the table next to Tsukishima who was next to her with Yamaguchi sitting across the table. Shirabu walked up with Kuroo and Bokuto behind him. 

“What the hell do you demons want?” Y/n spit out as them. 

“We come in peace. I promise.” Bokuto said as he raised his hands. 

“Unfortunately for me I have managed to befriend these two demons. Bokuto through volleyball and Kuroo by association. They told me some interesting shit about Oikawa though.” Shirabu said in a monotonous tone.  

“You can sit with us if you really want. I’m sure you will start beef with Oikawa though.” 

“He’s kinda in love with you so he probably thinks we would be doing reckon. That’s not why we are here though. I know what happened at the dance. Iwaizumi told us both about it.” Kuroo said. 

“I am so sorry Y/n! Please forgive me!” Bokuto shouted dramatically. He looked into your eyes and she could see he was on the verge of crying. 

“It’s okay! It’s not like you made him do it.” She said to him.

“No but I did get your number for him!” 

“He is exaggerating. He told Oikawa what locker number was mine and Oikawa went through my private property to get it.” Shirabu spoke up. 

“I won’t blame you for your friend being a massive piece of shit.” Y/n said with a smile. 

“Wow straight to the point, I like that.” Kuroo said.

“We can prove to you we are done with Oikawa if you’d like.” He pulled out his phone and showed her before he rescinded that he texted Oikawa ending their friendship. “Anyone who doesn’t support my deepest love for volleyball will never understand me.” He said with a serious look on his face. 

The rest of lunch they spent together, the few who had just met them had begun to feel different about the once Oikawa lackeys. They discovered they were not who they once thought and the same for the two new people who sat there today. The warning bell rang as they all were ready to separate. 

“Before we part, sorry shirabu. I talked shit about you one time in our old group chat with the other guys, not bokuto, I just felt like it would help me fit in.” Kuroo said. 

“I talked shit about you too cause I thought you were an annoying asshole like Oikawa. No hard feelings.” Shirabu said in his monotonous voice once again.  

“Wow all of you are brutally honest. I think I will like it here.” Kuroo said with a laugh. 

Everyone was now split up as Y/n was at her locker. Her phone Vibrated as she opened it to see another unknown number messaging her.  The message read: 

We need to talk after school...please… It’s satori by the way. I know you will say it too when you respond so I already told myself to Go to Hell before I sent this message. 

She sighed and put her phone back in her pocket. Her mind was stuck on him for the rest of the day. Even on her ride home with her friends and Mei, she could only think about what he might say to her when she finally answered.

_______________________________________________________________

Previous | Masterlist | Next 

An: Sorry again about the bad poem,,,, 

Taglist: @belongtothewcrld @elianetsantana @its-the-aerieljeane @london-quynh @vhskenma @denkithunder @swagdaddycam @ems1des @tendouispretty @senpaisbadass @elephantloser @smolbbgorl @mikeys-thighs @kuroolilchibichan @softesyoongi @ouijaeater15 @xxsilverwingxx @prettyinblack231 @kookie-doughs  @mikesdeath @bruh-kill-me @skeet-skeet-double-fckn-yeet @d0llpie @0-hysteria-0 @katsumi-sumi @rintarawr @sirachano0dles  @satan-ruler-of-hells @himboos @maer-333 @pastel-prynce @tanakasimpcorner @atria-avior @mrswhitethornbelikov

[juiceboxesheadcanons]

I finally figured out how to send asks on mobile :D Got any headcanons for how Illumi, Hisoka, (plus gon and Killua if it's not too much trouble) would decorate for Christmas? I just think that would be kinda poggers UwU

YESSSS I DO ACTUALLY! CANT WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS GUYS! I decided to just pin this post until the end of December so if anybody else wants any Christmas headcanons I’ll just add it here and I did put extra characters/headcanons because of that reason and if you want me to add anybody else just send in a request about it! (also dont mind the random juiceboxes I just left them out bc I don’t feel like adding new ones when adding random hc’s.) THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING! I’ll finish illumi and hisoka later but my food just arrived so I’m gonna go start on that first :)

Hunter x Hunter Christmas Event! This Event Includes The Main 4, The Adult Trio, The Phantom Troupe, The Zoldyck Family, The Freecss Family, And The Minor Characters!

Illumi

🧃 rich kid is gonna be the one with either nothing but a tree or literally is gonna go to the point of fake snow on the stair rails

🧃 it’s either nerf or nothing for this man. either go all out or don’t go at all mf

🧃 he likes Christmas except the fact it’s cold, girlie isn’t a fan of cold weather

🧃 he’ll probably do the jazz with the gingerbread cookies tho :’)

🧃 but yeah his tree’s gonna look like the ones in the movies with like all the height and the little balls with the perfect star on top bc babie is perfect so his tree should be too ✨

🧃 he says he doesn’t want anything but if you actually get him something he’ll be so touched-

🧃 he maybe will take a day off of fuck knows what to spend Christmas with anybody- 

🧃 okay we all know he’s spending Christmas with hisoka and we can’t change that 

🧃 poor baby he just wants to be held and feel the feeling of warmth again so he is a fan of hot chocolate

🧃 will not go out in the snow but he will go with you or anybody that wants to go outside and play

🧃 he isn’t a fan of dressing up but he’ll take his s/o out on a Christmas date (I will do a mini scenario/hc’s for this if you guys want.)

Hisoka

🧃 I feel if he wasn’t a pedophile or mass murderer they would hire him to work as a mall Santa Claus.

🧃 he’d probably do a color coded thing and the whole house would be that color

🧃 this mf would buy a gift for himself-

🧃 he wouldn’t do anything to his room and the biggest ick about him I have is that he has nothing in his room but a bed, dresser, desk, lamp, and nightstand like only the necessities so he wouldn’t do that much.

🧃 if he had a kid he’d 100% to elf on the shelf until they were like 16 years old and even use his nen ability to secretly make them move so the kid would believe in the magic for a while

🧃 he’s forcing illumi to come over cause he doesn’t want the little shit to be alone and sad on Christmas.

🧃 he got illumi a present

🧃 not a fan of those childish Christmas films but he’s pretty fond of the romance ones tbh

🧃 he literally never ends up under the mistletoe because everybody’s avoiding it so they won’t have to kiss the scary guy-

🧃 he can COOK asf so he’ll def make a feast for him and his s/o or just friends :)

Killua

🧃 he’s gonna be the most fun with all this, he want everything either blue, purple, or white. Literally he hates doing shit and not perfecting it (nikki minaj??)

🧃 he’d be the one to act like a mom saying “stupid I’m not buying that it’s too expensive!” and then you wake up with it under the tree- “you thought you weren’t getting it didn’t you?” I stg he is literally EVERY SINGLE MOTHER ON EARTH and it’s not even funny.

🧃 he wants to go play in the snow and make snow angels but he won’t say anything until you say something

🧃 hc that his ears and nose turn kinda red when it’s cold

🧃 he’s literally cooking a red velvet cake and there is no point in stopping him

🧃 he probably isn’t a morning christmas guy, he’s all for around 11-12 gifts so then you guys can bake cookies and play in the snow a ton because you got some energy stored up

🧃 this mf wants chocolate robots for Christmas and probably at one point in his life asked Santa for a new family but he didn’t deliver ig. (Illumi probably wrote him a fake Santa note saying that his family was better than everybody else’s.) 

🧃 his parents forced him to go sing those fucking Christmas songs when they know damn well those kids sound ratchet.

🧃 he ALWAYS ends up under the mistletoe with somebody. Even if it’s unintentional it always happens. 

🧃 a giant fan of wreaths for some reason? He puts one on every door.

Gon

🧃 his favorite holiday is Christmas so ohhh boy this is gonna be magical-

🧃 red green and white colors. you cannot change his mind literally that is what colors are in his head as soon as he hears the word Christmas.

🧃 the tree’s gonna be HUGE and he’s gonna want to decorate every room in the house. The bathroom, your room, his room, and yes he is that one neighbor with the fucking big ass lights outside-

🧃 he is a firm Santa believer he doesn’t take criticism. 

🧃 literally is going to wake everybody up at 6 fucking am to open gifts and everybody is gonna do it because can we really resist his pouty face? no. 

🧃 the joy on his face opening any gifts make it a fucking can of baked beans makes it all worth losing about 3-4 hours of sleep :,)

🧃 he probably wants toys for Christmas, I get he’s 14 but hxh doesn’t exactly have too much social media so he wouldn’t be trying to grow up too fast

🧃 he would get matching sleepwear for everybody except for some fucking reason it actually will look cute and he won’t just settle for a ugly ass tight suffocating elf sweater.

🧃 he believes Christmas is about spending time with your family and probably donated his old toys to a center so kids who didn’t have toys got some :)

🧃 he’s gonna make sure everybody has a good time, like every single person. it’s a  main protagonist thing I guess but I mean I applaud him for it.

🧃 doesn’t quite ever end up under the mistletoe with anybody but if he happened to he’d giggle and kiss their cheek in a friendly way.

Leorio

🧃 he’s gonna reuse the same fucking plastic wrinkled tree he’s been using for 12 years because the tree prices are “insane” even on sale.

🧃 he would be the one a Walmart ringing the little bell and forcing kurapika to sing with him because he needs the money.

🧃 his house is the one with rainbow colored little balls and it’s so ghetto but at the same time adorable

🧃 he is literally that one neighbor who gets the most snow and it’s the snow that’s basically ice and will take around 6 good days to shovel up.

🧃 maybe wont shovel out the snow too early because he wants killua and gon to have fun. 

🧃 he wants money for Christmas and nothing more, but kurapika tells him money isn’t a real gift and to ask for something else

🧃 even not being a morning person, he LIVES for morning Christmas.

🧃 probably eats snow.

🧃 he would try to cook and it might work actually

🧃 miss girl is plopped right down right next to gon watching elf on the shelf movies

🧃 he wears the Santa hat and is lowkey twinning with kurapika-

Kurapika

🧃 this bitch is gonna make you wait all fucking day to open gifts 😀

🧃 he thinks afternoon/nigh Christmas is the best. On Christmas eve he would literally sit down and watch movies with killua and gon for exactly 2 hours while leorio waits outside because kurapika wants him to sound like there’s somebody on the roof and kurapika can put the two children to bed and get a break for the rest of the night to finish gift wrapping and food making

🧃 hella good at wrapping gifts- commercial wrapping mf.

🧃 he thinks a white color coded Christmas looks best 

🧃 he’d give killua and gon like 150$ to buy Christmas stuff for their rooms and that’s lowkey just him trying his best he doesn’t know what the fuck else to do he isn’t a mom-

🧃 he might teach the other 3 traditional kurta songs his clan and him sung on Christmas.

🧃 he’s twinning with leorio cause he got the reindeer ears I mean get it ig- 

🧃 leorio is BEGGING kurapika to let him get a couple of drinks and kurapika’s like “YOURE GONNA STAY SOBER AND YOURE GONNA LIKE IT BITCH.”

🧃 he may or may not boys whatever they asked for and accidently on purpose use leorio’s credit card-

🧃 he just wants everybody to be happy, but can we blame him? it’s Christmas why wouldn’t he?

🧃 okay all wholesomeness aside he’s making leorio shovel the driveway.

Chrollo

🧃 he thinks this is like a romance thing

🧃 he’ll probably steal a gift or 2 for you ya know

🧃 I feel he’s the mf to have a black Christmas tree or a white one theres no in between

🧃 cookies are a yes

🧃 just go watch a classic romance movie one with him, it’ll give ya clear skin ma

🧃 he won’t decorate outside but inside will look magical asf

🧃 I think personally he’d wear a santa hat

🧃 probably would make a big phat juicy meal just for the two of you and he’d get gifts for the troupe if they cared about celebration

🧃 I feel the troupe isn’t big on that holiday stuff but if you felt like celebrating with him he’d be over the moon

🧃 he got that big tree though for no reason, he also takes the tree down the day after Christmas

🧃 Probably would give you a gift everyday leading up to christmas

Feitan

🧃 He probably was forced to sing carols and ring the bell on christmas as a kid-

🧃 he doesn’t really care much and won’t care to decorate but may or may not get you gifts

🧃 if you get him something he’ll have a small smile behind his mask 

🧃 he doesn’t wanna be in the cold just make some hot chocolate and watch a movie with him jeez

🧃 probably will wear reindeer horns if you insist

🧃 his favorite holiday is halloween but christmas is nice I guess

🧃 he probably would spend his entire day if he didn’t have a s/o with shalnark seeing who could figure out the christmas word find fastest

🧃 he’s gonna just see if theres anything he could steal for anybody

🧃 doesn’t bother with snow at all if there is snow he just doesn’t care to go outside when we got a perfectly nice house

🧃 firm believer in christmas isn’t about family it’s about gifts

🧃 he’s gonna get you something expensive though

Alluka

🧃 alluka the sweet princess is literally the neighbor that has the biggest brightest lights

🧃 she probably had her big brother killua come help her

🧃 her christmas tree is pink and white, and she decorated every square foot of her house

🧃 Christmas is her favorite holiday :)

🧃 she get’s everybody gifts and for christmas she wants some toys maybe to go shopping or something

🧃 snow angels are a must 100%

🧃 firm santa believer doesn’t take criticism.

🧃 she’s gonna be so happy just to spend time with people honestly even if nanika comes out she’s just gonna be happy

🧃 her gingerbread houses look absolutely amazing like please become a house builder sis-

🧃 she’s wearing matching sleepwear with killua and gon, probably doing a elf santa and reindeer theme which is adorable

🧃 this is the best day of her life and I’m living for it.

machi

🧃 This bitch is not a fan of anything

🧃 she want’s to paint those little christmas ball things and yeah

🧃 probably says she doesn’t want anything but some jewels or bracelets would be nice 

🧃 also isn’t a fan of snow but her house doesn’t get much to be honest

🧃 for the troupe she gives them like some bakery idem she made because why not that’s her family after all

🧃 probably wears fluffy socks on christmas and they’re like really adorable she just doesn’t realize it

🧃 she probably got something extra for shizuku idk I head canon them to be friends :)

🧃 she wont steal anything probably will buy or make it

🧃 omg machi stitching little christmas sweaters and socks omg that’s the highlight of my mother fucking day

🧃 her house if she decorates, is red and white.

Pakunoda

🧃 omg this beautiful woman I love so much

🧃 her house is white and blue and it’s all pretty

🧃 she has lights and stuff but doesn’t like overdo it or anything because she isn’t that jolly but might decorate a tree or two

🧃 she donates to animal shelters on christmas and literally it’s so cute

🧃 will probably get the troupe something specific that fits them or that they like because she isn’t trying to get somebody useless shit

🧃 for her s/o she’ll go out in the snow with them if they’d want

🧃 she buys the best gifts like that one aunt you don’t wanna give kisses but they always come through except we do wanna kiss her asf

🧃 she’ll wear machis socks that machi made her :,)

🧃 probably is the best person to have on christmas because just look at her

🧃 cuddles are everything just let’s just hug her while she watching a movie yes

Shalnark

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Phinks

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Uvo

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Shizuku

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Mito

🧃 yes

🧃 she thinks christmas is all about family

🧃 def an adult who says that they don’t want anything

🧃 she loves gons little handmade gifts or cards though

🧃 she decorates the house whatever way gon would want to cause you know he’s the only kid in the house

🧃 so basically her family has like a huge feast and everything and the food slaps

🧃 she makes gon wear this adorable sleepwear thing cause she thinks its cute

🧃 won’t let gon near any gifts before christmas

🧃 she’ll bundle gon up like a burrito if he wants to play in the snow which is adorable

🧃 she’s the mom like “you thought you wasn’t gonna get that huh? oh you welcome baby.”

Kalluto

🧃 this small little boy omg

🧃 he loves christmas but nobody really pays attention to him so he’s a little sad

🧃 with the troupe if they get him something he’ll be so excited but you won’t be able to tell :(

🧃 he’ll give people stuff because to him this is probably the most spirt he gets

🧃 he might just go sit out in the snow to enjoy the scenery 

🧃 he enjoys christmas eve most because of the vibes

🧃 doesn’t believe in santa but you know he’ll let alluka believe in it

🧃 probably a bit hurt killua wants to celebrate with alluka but not him tho

🧃 will ask killua if he wants anything def

🧃 might get illumi and milluki something if they let him

Milluki

🧃 he is always cooped up in the zoldyck house so they probably don’t decorate or celebrate but he still enjoys it

🧃 if illumi or something gets him a new game he’ll pretend he doesn’t care but he’ll appreciate it :)

🧃 he loves snow like yes

🧃 he might ask his siblings for something because his bitch ass parents wont buy him anything

🧃 yeah he doesn’t rlly give af but like yes

🧃 he probably just wants a new game or figure 

🧃 he might go online and talk to his online friends to see what they got and watch hauls on yt

🧃 probably the mf to want something that arrives in like july like damn pick something else

🧃 wont get anybody else anything sadly

🧃 we stan milluki here

THATS IT FOR NOW!! IM PLANNING ON ADDING SHALNARK, PHINKS, UVO, SHIZUKU SO IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHARACTERS YOU WANT JUST SEND IN REQUESTS! 😁🧃 this event does not include nsfw.

[anakinskywalkher]

Palpatine raises the twins and accidentally activates Anakin’s dadmodus - An alternative Star Wars plot.

@jasontoddiefor: Palpatine raises the twins & angst w/ Vader not knowing who the two are @dlegohargreeves: im gonna fuck shit up

written together on WhatsApp while listen to crack music.

------

(Barbara) Palpatine has long before he declared himself emperor abandoned the ways of the Sith. He uses them to create utmost loyalty to himself but he will not abide to the rules of his predecessor, one Palpatine would’ve defeated had he been around at that time.  People, be they sith, jedi, or other are all moldable to whatever he wants them to be.

He tricks Padme with sugar and soothed spun words, manipulates Anakin with spice and presses on his rage ("the jedi forbid you from loving your mother thats why you couldnt save her. i would never")  -- Palpatine is aware of the long game, but he has eternity. He’s a god, no one will be able to withstand him.

What Anakin never realised was that he wasnt the actual chosen one, Palpatine had seen in his vision that Anakin's children were in fact the chosen ones, and so when confronted with the soft boy he molded him into this shell to avoid his vision from happening,.... and yet these damnable children are still born. Palpatine is terrified that he wasn’t the only one with the true vision and firmly believes that owning the twins would be the least risky choice. (like he owned anakin, who long ago posed a risk)

He hunts them down, -- while anakin/Vader is completely crippled by his mental breakdown about "murdering" Padme and his child. Palpatine smiles and lets him wallow, for what Vader doesnt know is that Palpatine the God poisoned padme once he found out about her pregnancy.

Palpatine finds them, born hours ago and already pulsing brightly with the power of the force. Obi-Wan puts up a fight but Palpatine strikes him. He gloats to Obi-wan, brags about killing Padme, about manipulating Anakin (”I have taken everything from you, and now I will take your life) and takes the children. He leaves Obi-wan to bleed out by his stomach wound a faraway galaxy          (Palpatine reasons that Obiwan deserves it for this is how he left Vader to die. )

And so Palpatine at the rise of his galactic empire ends up with a crippled sith boy (not a man no matter what anakin thought), and with two babies who are most powerful force users in history. (now were shifting to meta instead of story telling lmao)

Palpatine has a god complex, he doesnt actually believe he would ever die, such petty thing is only for the unfortunate. even if his body would succumb to age, his mind through the force would rule forever -- he is unstoppable. To rule however even a godlike emperor needs tools, and while Vader is to be his guarddog the twins he believe can be shaped and molded into his personal hands, amplify his reach across galaxies.

So to mold them into his tools, Palpatine believes in starving them for love, only ever receiving ounces of recognition and pride. always craving his acknowledgment -- and it works, the twins once old enough to have actual brains (according to palpatine) he removes their wetnurses and gives them teachers, makes their training cruel and harsh and make them compete for his gaze. And it works till a certain extent, but Palpatine’s god-complex makes him blind to things he deems unneccessary, And thus he misses how the mourning of Vader for his family, turns him into a guilt-ridden man who believes giving these children some form of attention and care as penance for his own misgivings. And thus without meaning to Vader gives the children the love Palpatine tries to deny them (accidentally shifting their loyalty on the long run)

Elias: Vader hates the kids at first, with them reminding him of everything he lost and could have had, but at the end of the day, after some aggressive introspection, he gets that they’re just kids and probably starts projecting a lot the longer he’s exposed to them -- Vader, guilty, sneaks them candy and gives them stuff that’s kinda useless (like books that are not about politics or war or economics and and and) and he doesn’t think it’s much but the two would kill a man for him and probably have done so. ((Palpatine tries to break apart the codependent twins, forcing them apart for weeks, but the Force, unlike anything is a tool in hands of desperate children with a bond so strong it connected their mind)) This is not healthy, Vader thought, recalling decade old lessons from the Jedi. The twins rarely spoke, never mind both at the same time. They’re asked for their opinions, echoes of the Emperor’s wishes, and only one of them replies. They always moved at the same time, terrifying weapons of perfect synchrony, constantly aware of the other’s presence. They were living at least half in each other’s mind, even when the Emperor depraved them of contact for weeks. They were clingy afterwards, holding each other’s hands and wrists until they bruised, but Vader knew their minds were never separated. Luke slammed their teacher’s (victim’s) head to the ground as Leia kicked away his feet. They didn’t need any call signs, or training in coordination, one moved and the other followed. During battles, the twins’ dependence was a huge advantage. “Again,” Vader called out and the two of them fell back into the first Kata, the bleeding teacher still lying on the ground.

Barbara: However once the twins are older they need to learn through missions, so Vader has to take them along for missions  (once Palpatine believes they wont connect with Vader) - it starts normal but Vader slowly starts to make the missions longer, gives the kids downtime, lets them free and just engages small talk with them, he can’t face himself if he doesn't let them be actual children. But the twins are suspicious believing theres a catch but Leia, the master mind realises that theres none and so they accept reluctantly, and slowly but surely they learn how to be children under Vader’s tutelage. It takes time and dulling a sharpened blade, but the moment, that first time when the twins laugh and seem actually happy, its that moment that Vader decides, he has to become Anakin again, because these children are his second chance - And so he starts planning.

(insert a bit of crack:

Elias: Firmus: Lord Vader, are we to expect you and the Operatives back tomorrow? Vader: we haven’t finished the mission yet -Leia and Luke like 12 or so, in the background yelling in excitement bc idk they got a game, neither are in uniform- Firmus: Of course )

Barbara: Anakin: "i made sand castles when I was young" Leia: “that structure seems awfully unstable for a house”

But ever since Vader mentions the sand castle, the usually more mature one Leia clings to the idea and while he wishes he could show her, but his suit and wounds cant handle the sand. And when he explains Luke goes " well lets get u a proper suit then" and vader goes " im a moron" (leia in the back: yes duh) So Anakin looks into the treatment he’s still receiving to see if he can make it so that his breathing machine could withstand the sand and realises that Palpatine is actually keeping his body weak, he has no need of the breathing machine because its that actual machine thats poisoning his lungs. So of course Vader does a lowrisk experiment and turns off the machine and he can actually breath fresh air in 12 years (the rage controlling Anakin is one different than those before, for it is ice in his veins instead of fire. And it makes him tactical instead of foolish for once). Soon after that Vader catches some rebel transmission and  finds out that Obi-wan is alive and looking for the twins and its that moment that Anakin 'kills' Vader, believing that Obi-wan can save the twins in a way he can't.

Anakin takes the kids to fight the rebels on Palpatines order but he seizes the chance and instead he shows them his face without the mask (lets ignore the idea that hed be bald bc i hate the uglification of ani) and Leia goes: You look an awful lot like luke Anakin who hasnt actually seen his own image for 12 years, realises that luke is a spitting image of himself as a child, and leia who is glaring at him, he realises, is a carbon copy of Padme. BUT anakin thinks hes projecting and doesnt follow up with it.

Instead he asks them (and for leia this will always be the most important part), he asks them if they wish to stay with Palpatine and do his bidding or to dissapear with him -- and well the choice is easy right, Luke&Leia don’t actually like Palpatine, because despite everything, the force made them sensitive and they feel so much (the despair of the people, the sadness of Vader, the greed of Palpatine)

So they leave for Tattooine, the one place where Palpatine would never look because he never found out that Anakin realised his suit was a boobytrap. The wanted pictures of the twins (both bald shaven and in uniform) nor the one of Anakin (known as Vader, with the helmet)  soon dont match the long haired white dress wearing twins and the blond haired bronzed man.

and so Anakin and the twins go into hiding, but guess whose on Tatooine? Thats right -- ObiWan

[marcellaisnotme]

to everyone.

to all the amazing people that light up my 2019, let's continue our journey to 2020. 2019 has been pretty amazing to me than last year and i'm rather excited for what's going to come on 2020. its a bit frightening but at the same time i'm ready to face it.

i'm dedicating each of you who got this page a personal message <3

let me start it with my loving Ren ♡ we met not that long ago but long enough for me to call you a special friend. i love hanging out with you, i love ranting everything to you cause you're a really good listener, advisor and most importantly a really great sidekick. okno. you know what to say to make me feel better and i admire that you can think of so much in a short amount of time. the way you handle everything is very responsible and careful, i look up to you alot. let's be more closer and share more stupid shitposts (RED VELVET PLSSS). i love you!!

Jason ♡ we known each other for a very long time but we always been pretty close to each other, but sometimes we don't talk and we argue that one time. and you went missing too but when you came back i was really excited. you were really funny and entertaining. just what i need, just what i wanted. we have a love hate relationship and we never get tired of each other and buuuu-ing each other everytime. okno. you are special to me and i cant find another jason to replace. thanks for being such a great friend. i love you!!

Juan ♡ my favorite movie partner and cuddle buddy <3 the one that would always tell stupid jokes which myself find it really funny even when it's pretty dumb. the one who never get tired of me punching you in the arm. okno. i wanna spend more time watching movies with you cause i personally hate watching movies cause i'm a book person. but when i watch it with you and hear you explaining to me everything made me love movies. pstt. only when i watch it with you <3 HAHAHA let's do more movie dates next time juan, because movies are not watch worthy without you. okno. i love you!!!

bwi ♡ as much as i find you pretty annoying and such a coward but i really know how it takes courage to do something. i know how does it feel when you feel like doing something. but it's find. i dont judge you for it ok? i was just messing around with you cause your reaction is always funny i dont wanna miss it. OKNO. if you havent moved on completely, it's fine. it takes time to heal and takes time to grow. i hope you have a better life and be happy in 2020. i love you!!

Belle ♡ SINCE YOU'RE A GIRL NOW IMMA CALL YOU BELLE. okno you were a guy when we first met and first dated. okno. i can't believe we made it till today even when we dont talk that much these days. i just want you to know even when i'm very very very annoying and stoopid but i am really thankful that you were always there listening to my probs and teas :(( i'm so dramatic. wipes non existent tears. okno. be less busy so that i can kacau you more :(( i love you!!

Kitty Kou ♡ my wife :(( my husband soulmate boyfriend girlfriend my everything :(( screams i miss you so much we're not talking much this days are you THAT busy gimme attention bich :(( okno. i'm glad that you are fine now (i can see and feel it) also i dont want you to be sad no more cause you dont deserve to be :(( i'll karate anyone that tries to mess with you i swear >:( i love you soooo much you're my fav bestie ever you listen to me and play along with me cause thats what soulmates do :(( dont ever leave my side or i'm gonna tie u to me so that you wont escape HAH take that :(( i love you bb♡

Qhal ♡ you stick up to me since day-1 and thats what i love about you. you grew into a better person, you were so much braver and bolder plus happier these days and i've never been so proud of you. i hope your happiness last till next year and the following and forever. every day is a new day. you dont have to close old books and open new ones. you dont have to be someone you're not and importantly, you dont have to do things for anyone else. yourself is your top priority and always remember that you're just as important. seeing you happy makes me happy. we've been friends for god knows how long and you never left my side, ever. you're always a special friend to me. you're always in my heart. i love you!!

Irwin ♡ not gonna deny you're always there for me when i'm in an existential crisis. okno. you're such a fun and funny person to talk with. i always enjoyed talking to you because you could make and awkward situation lively with your randomness. you radiate great and positive energy that anyone around you feel better. you make me feel better when i'm sad. i hope you and jade last looooooooooong enough just like how long we've known each other. i love you!!

Tian ♡ i love talking to you and randomly being stupid with you and jason. i love how we click with each other that much it's like we're siblings. rough things happened but let's all forget about it. i hope for you happiness as you were always sad about a certain someone. it's fine to think about it. it's fine to hold onto it. cause the longer you hold on, the easier it will go away when it gets old. you should really reveal your cute daughter to everyone. cause i miss her and everyone needs to see her <3 she's amazing just like you. i love you!!

Cosmo ♡ as long as we known each other, you were the brightest person and the easiest to get along with. you always know what to do and put your heart in everything you do. i dont like seeing you being sad or depressed anymore because you weren't like that when we first met. always surround yourself with happy stuff >> me. and do things you wanna do that makes you happy. you will always be my cosmo, and i'll always be your wanda♡. i love you!!

Junguan ♡ hi bestie how u doin. okno. i am glad that you're always happy, always problem free. thanks for listening to my problems, thanks for being a great friend. i have a great laugh and a great time with you always. your reaction to my stupidness and sarcasm was always funny i'm not gonna lie. you're always the one that i believe would keep everything i tell you a secret. you're such an awesome person and a great friend. i love you !!

Xie/ Axel ♡ you're a really interesting person to talk to. aside from our past relationship. you're a really strong and a great person. you're someone that doesn't give up on anything you do and i really adore you for that. you make everything seem so funny to me idk why oKNO. but except for our snapstreak, we dont really talk mUCH. did you moveD or are you just busY cause u krik krik im thinking twice about softblocking you. okno. talk to me bitch. i love you!!

marcell/shaq ♡ you change your name to match mine cause you like me eh?? buuu. okno. you were always someone i trusted because you're responsible of doing your job and you're someone nice to talk to i mean not nice nice because you're mean but nice by i can have a conversation with you and talk about random stuff without letting it die because i'm funny and you're lame okno. let other judge your outer and let yourself know your inner. jangan jadi noob for 2020. okno. i love you!!

Eric ♡ my stupid bun. my ride or die. ew. these two years 18/19 has been pretty rough for the both of us and i think it's just a step and a lesson to grow into a better person. you helped me alot through this year and i'm never less thankful for that. the loving things you do for me, the things you would let it slide when it comes to me. your soft spot for me never goes away huh HAH and i'm taking advantage of that. okno i'm kidding. you are a big help for me and for what i went through. you never said no. you always agree on everything and i really appreciate it. when we broke up last year, you still insisted to talk to me. which i find out really annoying. just kidding. i'll let everything slide since you do that to me too. you're a really great person, amazing let me tell you. thanks for being a great friend to me. thanks for helping me out with almost everything. i owe you big time. i love you!!

harry ♡ first of all,  thank you for being a great bestie, we would always talk to each other everyday but you got busy these days :(( but yey, its almost a decade since ive known you, kyak. we met when we were in kbb. you were d__, kyak, smpipol 💕 i feel so giddy giddy all of a sudden lololol. and then we started exchanging contacts, you were first harry, on fl.  and then we had this, nOOt squad gTG. im nunmul-ing.  why is this suddenly a throwback session.  and and and then theres trisha gosh i love trisha and you too. i adore you for being such an honest person, when it comes to telling your problems to us, which is something i cant really do. if you have problems, dont hesitate to tell us, though i dont really help much eheh. but sometimes there are things that arent meant to be said. its okay, theres nothing wrong feeling sad, feeling all those negative feelings. we are human too, we have feelings. it is okay to sometimes not be okay, it is okay. but other than that, be happy with those you are surrounded with. youre someone that worth a big hug.  i hope you spent your day with those you love 💕 i hope youre having a good day. youre an amazingly talented person. i hope youd achieve your dream soon, i pray for your health, and for you to surrounded by lovely people. you're such a talented person and gosh, your drawings for the fashion week, cries. chef kisses momma!!! you should update me on your life more because i wanna know what you do and support you on everything you do. don't forget me anyways :(( because you're the only realest annoying brutally honest bitch i love :(( i love you!! 

thanks for an amazing 2019, lets get closer in 2020. i love you guys. ♡

[lunaschild2016]

Close To You - Part 1[Eric/Devi]

Rated: M

Title and inspiration from Close To You by Maxi Priest

Summary: Devi and Eric’s story continues, but this time we see things from Eric’s eyes. It was her belief in him that sparked them finally coming together, but where did it really start for Eric? The life of a childhood sweetheart, conspiracies, and the fate of the city all hung over his head. He didn’t need to be wondering how to get close to the tiny amity with fire in her eyes and a mouth to match. He didn’t need to worry and wonder about how he could find a way to just be close to her.

@kenzieam  @pathybo  @jaihardy @every-jai @ericdauntless @beautifulramblingbrains @bookgirlthings @jojuarez26 @oddsnendsfanfics @offroadinjandals @singingpeople @iammarylastar @irasancti @captstefanbrandt @clublulu333 @fuckthatfeeling @tigpooh67 @ex-bookjunky  @jughead-wuz-here wuz-here @badassbaker @beanzjellly @beltz2016 @meganbee15 @affabletimelady @scorpio2009 @gylisaa @geekybeyondallreason @violetsonthelam @kyloswarstars @emmysrandomthoughts @kgurew @beltzboys2015-blog @slytherin-princess-25273 @whatwouldbuffydo666 @jaiboomer11 @holamor @wealwayskeepfighting @original46  @blakefc @xtheserpentx  @artisthedgehog

She had an attitude I can't explain

You never know if you’re in flame

Tying me up with elastic words

I'm on a countdown till I get hurt

Her blood was hot she burned so bright

A neon sign there in the night

It's hard to say if I went too far

My heart still bares the scar

I just want to be close to you

And do all the things you want me to

I just want to be close to you (I just want to be close to you, baby)

And show you the way I feel

[Close To You; Maxi Priest]

Part 1

“What’s wrong with her?” I ask for what feels like the hundredth time since I stepped foot into the shit hole that Dauntless calls a clinic.

Once again I watch the nurses flutter around the girl on the bed, clucking like hens and completely ignoring me.

I run a hand through my hair and restrain myself from punching something or someone in frustration but I can’t completely restrain my impatience at being ignored.

That’s not something I’m willing to stand for, initiate status or not.

“Will someone tell me what the fuck is wrong with her!” I move up to stand right in front of one of the nurses that have stepped away from the bed and loom over her.

She’s wearing blue scrubs, meaning she’s from Erudite and most likely the one person in this place that’s actually fully qualified to have the title I see on her little badge clipped to her uniform.

“Eric Coulter, right?” She eyes me like a hawk and I feel irritation coursing through me. For a second, I also wonder if she’s one of Jeanine’s plants in Dauntless. That’s dismissed when she gives a strained smile. “You look a bit like your brother. I work with him from time to time. He mentioned your coming here.”

I narrow my eyes, not returning her smile and look past her to the girl still laying on the bed, motioning with my hand in her direction. “What’s her status?”

Candice, the name indicated on her badge, bristles at being ignored but answers me through thinned lips. “I have to call someone in to evaluate her, but we are drawing blood for tests and monitoring her until then.”

I look back at her and hesitate, wondering why the hell I’m getting involved and why I didn’t just leave the Amity girl in her dorm bed for someone else to deal with.

“You said you work with, Dr. Coulter?” I asked with appraising eyes, watching her closely.

“I do.”

“Then you won’t mind working with him again now, will you?”

I have no real power here in Dauntless. Not yet anyway. If I was making this same order to someone wearing black, I’m sure I would be sent away with a sharp reprimand no matter how intimidating I know I can be.

But Candice is Erudite and I have power there. My name is known. If Candice is a plant of Jeanine’s she’ll do as I say but report it back to her. If she isn’t, she’ll still do as I say.

Because, as much as I might despise it and have wanted to leave all that shit behind, I rank higher than her in their hierarchy. No matter if I wear black now, to them, I will always have true ‘blue blood’ running through my veins.

As expected she gives me a curt nod before moving off hurriedly. The other nurse wearing black gives me a look before following, and then it’s just me and the girl on the bed.

My fists clench to the sides of my body as I scowl down at her.

I hate that she’s made me care enough to step in and use my name for something when I promised I would get leadership on my own, no matter how much Jeanine tried to throw her weight around.

I hate that I’m thinking about anything or anyone else besides what I came here to do and who I’m doing it for.

Jules.

The thought of her has tightness in my chest that’s growing tighter the longer I look at this stupid tiny girl laying in the bed.

She’s not Jules. There’s no doubt about that.

Jules is tall and graceful with a smile that can infect even the snootiest of Erudite.

Jules who prefers dresses and ridiculous hats. I never have been able to figure out how she gets them all, and most of them are so ridiculous in order to get a rise out of me.

Jules who has always been able to make me laugh even when I’m in the worst fucking mood and even my brother can’t stand to be around me.

Jules who can sweetly cut a person to pieces and still leave them wondering if she was complimenting them or telling them to fuck off.

Jules, the best person I have ever known and the one I really want to save.

When I look at the amity girl, that’s who I see.

Jules is who I should be with. I should be there helping her and holding her hand or trying to make her laugh, but I’m not and it pisses me off.

Because coming to Dauntless was more important than the girl I love.

“You better not die,” I mutter angrily while glaring at the girl on the bed.

The whispered angry words won’t reach the real target, who I’m really saying them to. But I realize with some surprise that I also do mean them for the girl laying on the bed in front of me.

I turn on my heel and rush out of the clinic as fast as I will allow myself to be seen rushing anywhere. I make it to the training room corridor where control bursts away from me and I sprint into the room looking for something, anything, to make the tightness in my chest go away.

*****************************************************************************************

My brother is not who I expected to see standing behind the door of the office I was summoned to just before dinner but I can’t say the dread I had been feeling gets any better when I do see him.

If anything, it actually gets worse.

He’s standing at the end of a long conference table, hunched over papers and a tablet as I close the door quietly behind me. His presence makes me nervous as hell and I feel slightly sick to my stomach.

All I can think is something’s happened with Jules.

Elijah looks up at the sound of the door clicking shut and his eyes narrow as they take me in. I know he’s doing a snap evaluation, trying to determine a million things in the space of seconds so I won’t get upset about him fussing over me.

Even with all the recent strain on our relationship, Elijah remains the person I know I can count on most to truly care about me and how I’m doing. Even when I do my damndest to drive him and his affection away.

“Jules?” I ask, stepping forward and forgoing all greetings.

Elijah straightens and comes forward as well. I watch him carefully.

I never fuss over him the way he always did over me, like a parent rather than a brother, but I have always tried to watch out for him too. I see the tiredness etched into the way he holds himself and his face. Eyes so similar to mine that have never been able to mask his emotions from showing the way I do.

He smiles tiredly at me and motions with his hands as he speaks. “Jules is doing fine. She told me to tell you that you better be ‘kicking ass and taking names’.” He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “She also says hello and that we miss you.”

I sag a little in relief and nod while clearing my throat that has become thick with emotion. “Tell her I say, same and you bet your ass I am.” He gives me a smile and nod at my response and motions to a chair to sit. I do while throwing out my next question. “So, why am I here?”

“Well, given that you broke protocol and summoned me here, I thought you might want to know what’s going on with the girl, Devanna, I believe is her name,”

“Devi,” I correct him gruffly then frown at myself for caring enough to make the correction. Eli doesn’t say anything, just lifts an eyebrow and looks at his paper before correcting his notes.

“Devi.” He says with a nod.

“So what’s wrong with her? It’s been a day since I took her to the clinic, so it isn’t her just having a cold or something simple like that.”

The first day she had been smiling with enerving energy that just seemed to radiate from her. I almost thought she was going to explode from it there on the train. Even when she was panting and huffing from the climb and run to get on.

As the day wore on the smile faded and she withdrew. Some of the other initiates seemed to thrive on putting her down for anything and everything. Her old faction, her height, her accent...anything really.

Mostly this was other girls. The guys just dismissed or ignored her. Like I have been trying to do.

It was clear after the first night that something was going on with her but no one knew what. I wrote her off by the time we were going to sleep that first night. I just didn’t see her making it. Here we are at the end of the week and I don’t see that changing. I’m pretty sure that’s what my brother is going to tell me, that she’s done.

Once again, I’m cursing myself for not just letting it go and risking myself as I did. Especially now that I know it had been for nothing, because she’s gone anyways.

Then I remember why I ignored all logic and reason. I remember how I felt that night and what prompted me to take her. How small she was in my arms as I carried her through halls, trying not to race along them but feeling a sense of urgency I didn’t really understand.

She was moaning, almost deliriously, but not responding to anyone that was yelling at her to shut up in the dorm that night.

I laid there not saying anything to the others. though I wanted to so badly. To tell them all to leave her the hell alone. Then she went silent and I waited for something, some other sign from her that she was going to be okay.

The others around us were going to sleep, no problem, but I couldn’t. Her silence was deafening to me. I could have left her there and had tried to talk myself into doing just that. Until something made me go check on her and before I even got close I could feel the heat coming off her.

She was whispering something, so faint I could barely hear her until I crouched down beside her. Her eyes opened and they were glazed, she winced away from me and whimpered pitifully but she kept muttering. I leaned in even further and she reached out to grip my arm, and I could finally hear the broken pleading in Spanish.

“Por favor, no ... por favor ... Tuve que irme, abuela. Tuve que ... por favor no me odies.”

I don’t know what it was about her words. Her pleading for her grandmother to not hate her. To understand she had to leave. They weren’t some big revelation, I’m sure all of us felt that to some degree. Worried we are leaving someone behind that will be hurt or hate us for the choice.

It wasn’t so much the words themselves but the way she said them. How strong two of them were, how firm and how much fire was in them as she whispered them out over and over again.

Had to.

As if her life was in jeopardy if she didn’t go. If she didn’t follow her heart.

That was something Jules would do. She followed her heart and come hell or high water she would see it through. No matter the risk.

Did Devi know how much she was putting her life at risk just by choosing Dauntless? Did she even think about how she was nothing like a Dauntless should be in all the physical ways that matter?

But I was thinking like an Erudite with those questions. A Dauntless, a true Dauntless, wouldn’t care about any of that. They would just know there was no other choice. Just like Devi did.

Something inside me broke open for her right then and she wedged herself into a spot that I have hardened to all but two people in my life. Now I don’t know how to make that go away. Tightness starts to creep up on me again, my chest itches and I reach up to rub the spot but jerk my hand back down and look at Eli.

“Some of the others are saying she has the plague or something.”

Asinine.

I know better, and from his look at me, he knows I know better. His lips quirk in amusement and he shakes his head.

“We both know better than that. She is sick but it isn’t terminal…” He pauses and winces before his eyes filled with pain and he lets out a shaky breath then continues while I eye him and carefully mask my own pain “...but it won’t be pleasant for her in the least.”

I nod slowly. “So what is it?”

“Her body is expelling poison and it’s anything but painless.”

“Poison?” I almost shout the question and interrupt him.

Eli holds a hand up to me, a calming motion. “Peace Serum, Eric. You’re aware that Amity regularly imbibes in it, but it seems that her case is extreme. We are talking about a lifetime of daily exposure at high levels. Her body doesn’t know how to function without it anymore.”

I scowl in disbelief wondering how that’s possible and who in their right minds would purposely do this to themselves. But he said a lifetime, so does that mean even when she was really young?

I wave that away mentally and with my hand as well. “So what does that mean? She can’t continue can she?”

Eli shrugs and sighs before dropping his pen and leaning back in his chair casually.

“That will be up to her ultimately, but she’s already waved away the normal method of treatment. I can’t say I blame her. That would have meant removal from training for at least a week if not more depending on how extreme the treatment needed to be. Leadership has already said if that was the case then she was out with no other options available. I was near when the nurse gave her the options and she automatically turned the treatment down, already guessing that it meant she wouldn’t be continuing treatment. She’s staying and will let it purge from her system as naturally as possible.”

“So she’s going to go through initiation while going in withdrawal?” I mutter and look at the table while trying to deny how much that disturbs me especially knowing what I do about how withdrawal patients are treated.

There aren’t many cases where someone gets addicted to substances like I know there was pre-war and the drugs that were common are all but nonexistent for us now. But there are cases where someone gets addicted on the ones we do have and there are even cases where someone synthesizes a substance and then gets hooked on it themselves.

When this happens, the person is isolated and then their system is purged with a cleansing drug. Tests are run to determine how their body is handling the purge and if anything is still off then they are treated appropriately. It can take weeks if not months to treat some of the severe cases my brother has told me about and that’s just from a biological standpoint. Even after he gets done with them they still have much more to look forward to psychologically.

I don’t know if I can spend another night watching her suffer like she has been the last few nights. Now knowing what I do, it’s just bound to get worse and I can’t fucking handle that. “Why give her the choice at all? Why not just send her back to Amity!”

I look up at him when he makes a grunt and I realize that I spoke that out loud. My frustration is coming through loud and clear.

He leans forward with a frown of disapproval on his face. “You know very well they’re going to send her straight to the factionless, not back to Amity. I know you might not care for…”

“I don’t!” I’m breathing hard and rubbing my chest while looking around wildly. “I can’t!”

Elijah’s beside me suddenly and I didn’t even realize he moved until I feel his hands guiding me until my head is between my legs and he is coaching me through my breathing.

When I feel like I’ve gotten ahold of myself, I take the glass of water he hands me and avoid looking at him as I drink it.

I feel like a fucking kid again. Like when I used to have these same kinds of episodes after repressing feelings for so long until they boiled out and over. Elijah always tells me that trying to go through life so emotionally cut off isn’t healthy and I know he’s headed towards another lecture of that kind.

“Are you going to gloat now and say I told you so?” I ask him sourly when I look at him again.

“Have I ever done that?” I can hear the hurt in his tone but don’t respond. If I do I’m just going to end up saying something else hurtful.

I always do.

For being a so-called fucking genius, according to my old faction, I’m useless when it comes to anything resembling social graces. I learned early on that honesty is not the best policy for me. Silence is.

“Eric,” He says softly and leans forward, his arms on his knees and head bowed, “It’s okay to care about people. To open yourself to caring for someone.”

I sneer at him as I scoff, unable to remain silent, hard as I might have tried. “Sure it is. ‘Cause that’s worked out so well for me in the past, hasn’t it, brother?”

He looks up and I see the pain radiating in his eyes. I know my anger and words are opening up a wound we’re still trying to heal between us. That’s kinda hard to do when I’ve refused to talk any more about it.

“I can’t apologize for the way we both feel, Eric and I won’t. You two love each deeply other and that’s never going to change. What you two have is still there and it will always be there. It’s also different then what she and I have, and that has always been the case too, but it doesn’t make what you two share any less powerful.”

I nod and look away, gripping the glass tightly between my hands as my jaw clenches together. “But that wasn’t enough for me to stay, was it? I love her so much I left her when she needed me most. It just proves what I’ve always thought.”

I shrug and look back at him, knowing his next question but also needing him to ask it. Needing to expel it from me just like the little amity is doing right now with her own poison. He’s right I need to talk about this shit. I haven’t been able to until now.

I need to get this all out of my system so I can go back to not feeling at all. Then maybe I can get rid of this new sensation for a girl that has no chance of sticking around.

“What’s that?” Eli prods me softly.

“That I’m not capable of loving anyone but myself. I don’t care who it hurts in the end, as long as I get what I want.”

Elijah rolls his chair closer to me, his blue eyes that are normally filled with warmth are burning with intensity.

“I want to listen to me and listen well. You are not our parents and you have never even come close to them. You could never allow yourself to be like them.”

I listen but I can’t believe the words. I’ve never been able to believe the words. No matter how many times my brother has tried to reassure me of this over the years since our parents all but abandoned us.

His features soften and he smiles at me. “Yeah, you have the habit of pushing all your feelings aside and acting like they don’t exist, but you can never get rid of them. Which is why things like earlier happen. Because, it’s never been that you don’t and can’t care or love, Eric. It’s that when you do, it’s all or nothing for you. Bone deep love is what Jules has always called it. You left, not because you don’t love Jules but because you know that nothing will ever take that love away from you. Not even being in another faction. You said those same words to me when you came to me that night and gave us your blessing. It was something I already knew, but it was also something you had to realize for yourself and one day you’re going to find someone that you love just as deeply but in the it’s meant to be.”

I jerk my head in a semblance of a nod, not bothering to reply how I’m feeling.

I’ve forgiven Eli for taking Jules from me, well, mostly forgiven him anyway. What he says is true, I did come to see that how I love her and how Eli does, they aren’t the same. It’s just that in my mind that doesn’t really matter.

It still hurt and that wasn’t something I cared to open myself to again. I loved her but it hadn’t been enough. End of story.

He pulls back and I breathe a little easier when I realize he’s dropping the subject. Eli leans back in his chair and clears his throat.

“How’s training going?”

“Fairly good, although there was a surprise when it came to finding out how many fears we all have.”

Eli frowns at me. “Did your amount change?”

I shake my head with a scowl and look off. “No, it’s still nine. Which should have been the lowest fucking number among the group.”

“I take it someone is lower?.”

“Yeah. Four of them. The asshole even changed his name to the number of his fears.” My scowl gets deeper when I think of the scrawny Abnegation that’s causing me more uncertainty than he should be. “He’s a concern. I’ve heard some leaders and trainers saying they’re impressed by him. Rankings haven’t been posted since training just got in full swing, but I think we’re neck and neck for first. I’m pretty sure I got him beat in physical, and I don’t foresee fights being a problem, but the scoring percentage for the other stages is a serious concern with his number of fears.”

Eli taps his chin thoughtfully. “That’s an extremely low number. What faction is he from?”

I know where my brother’s train of thought has gone and I can’t say I didn’t immediately think the same when I found out Tobias Eaton’s number of fears. In fact, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to it and what I can do to remove the threat it poses to me.

“Abnegation,” I remark dryly and see him wince.

“It’s the Eaton kid?”

“Yes.”

“Shit.” Eli curses with a grimace then looks at me worriedly. “I know what you’re thinking, Eric, but don’t do anything you’re going to have to live with the rest of your life. You know what they will do to him.”

I shoot up out of my chair and pace around the room. “It’s not like I have a choice here, Elijah. You know what’s expected of me. At some point, I’m going to be expected to have results for them.”

“That’s what they expect. But when have you ever done what those pricks in our faction expect of you?” Eli demands from me fiercely.

“You know why I even bothered to give their offer a second chance. Jules needs this, Elijah. This is how I save her. What does it matter if I turn over some fucking stiff that means nothing to me? Especially if it gets them off my back and me first?”

“Is that really how you want to get your position here? By taking out someone that might be stronger than you?”

I grit my teeth as out the cursed denial, and glare icily at him, giving him exactly the reaction he wants even though I know exactly what the hell he’s doing by throwing that out there.

I call it manipulation and he would say he’s being my own Jiminy fucking Cricket

“How do you think this is making Jules feel, knowing what they want in exchange for her life? Jules knows you as well as I do and I know in your mind you’re already justifying it, telling yourself that any exchange for her would be worth it but how far do you go down that road, Eric?”

The tightness starts again and I let out a growl, spinning away from him and towards a wall. I feel like punching someone and Eli is the only one in sight. “Don’t bring her name into this like some kind of weapon against me.”

I want to punch walls but know we’re already shouting and that will draw attention we can’t afford. We are risking so much already. I stop in the middle of carrying out my need to hit something in anger and just lean my hands against the wall and hang my head.

“I don’t have a lot of options here,” I whisper tiredly.

“No, not a lot, but you do have a few. Eric, we know they’re afraid of you taking the power they covet so much. There was a reason for this and maybe what we need to do is to show them why they were right in fearing you.”

I slowly turn towards him, my mind working double time as my eyes narrow. He waits patiently as I process this, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’ll need help. Contacts that I know we can trust or that we can get leverage on to make sure they stay in line.”

“I’ve already started working on that. Jules too.”

I want to protest that, not wanting her involved but I know it would be pointless. They made me promise there would be no secrets and that I had to let them help in any way they could if I made this deal.

I gave a stiff nod and then looked at my watch. “I need to get going if I am going to get some dinner before lights out.”

He gives me a strained smile and nods but I see the hesitation. His internal debate and wondering if I will reject his show of affection or not. I step forward and put out a hand which he takes and grips tightly, his hand around my forearm while mine is around his. This is the form of a hug he came up with when I stopped wanting them years ago.

He smiles at me while we still hold firmly. Eli promises to make it for visiting day and that he should have contacts for me soon. We also share words of parting, mostly jokes that have been thrown around between the three of us of what I planned to do once I finally made it to Dauntless. They aren’t as carefree as they once were before our recent falling out, but it does hint that we can get there again given time.

When I go to leave he calls my name one last time and stands there looking serious and worried. “About the girl,”

“What about her?” I ask with a frown.

“I know it goes against what I was saying earlier about opening up and all,” He runs a hand through his hair with one hand and shoves the other in his pocket with the other. “But you need to stay away from her, for now.”

I let all expression fall away from my face and tilt my head. “Not that I see it being a problem for me at all, especially considering she isn’t going to last the week, but why? Does Jeanine know I called you in?”

He shakes his head while I can tell he is warring with wanting to admonish me about my callousness and wanting me to heed his warning for whatever reason. “No. Candice isn’t in Jeanine’s circle and wouldn’t want to be anyways. Something about a friend of hers that went missing or something. So Jeanine doesn’t know I was called in from her, but that doesn’t mean she might not find out from some other source. This girl, she might not actually mean anything to you, but Jeanine is crazy enough to grasp for anything that she can use to sink her claws in you even deeper.”

I feel bile rising up my throat at that but maintain my dead tone and a blank expression. “Like I said, it won’t be an issue.”

He responds with a resigned nod and I’m out of the door quickly after that making for the mess hall. Most of the other initiates had already grabbed food and headed for the dorm which was a relief since I didn’t want to have to deal with them. I ate quickly even though I wasn’t in a rush to get back to the dorm myself. Something about the activity around me and watching everyone go about their lives helped calm me.

Gave me the headspace to think and plan.

Elijah was right about handing the stiff over, it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I didn’t want to win my place here that way just like I didn’t want to have a bit of influence from Jeanine on the leaders to sway them either. In fact, I bluntly told her that was one of the conditions of my acceptance to work with her.

I also know without a shadow of a doubt that if turning number boy over saved Jules, even by way of securing my position, then I would do it and not even blink. If I had to carry that stain on me for the rest of my life I would for her.

The decisions, resolutions really, make me feel lighter. It eases some of the anxiousness I was feeling that I have a solid plan and course of action.

I even find myself talking to a few of the members at the table of the mess hall. I pick at the slice of cake one of the guys shoved at me and listen to them all bullshit with each other, but mostly I just observe things.

I see the stiff slipping from the mess hall, pulling in on himself to try and go unseen like he’s done from the first.

I watch the leaders as they look down at their noses from up on the balcony. Talking among themselves and hardly ever interacting with anyone else. But they’re watching, always watching, to make sure their bidding is being done even if it will lead the faction straight into war.

Max seems to be the one that I’ll have to be the most careful about. I can feel his eyes on zeroed in on me, watching and judging me. Even here when I’m eating dinner like everyone else.

I shift my focus and try to casually look to see if my suspicions are right when I see something out of the corner of my eye.

A small figure hunched over her plate at an empty table far in the back and cast in shadows it’s so out of the way. The tightness in my chest starts to creep back in and I jerk my eyes away, remembering my conversation with my brother.

I know I shouldn’t feel anything but seeing her is a relief. ‘Cause at least I know she’s alright.

So I’ll keep away, but I already know I won’t be able to stop myself from watching.

[nocancer]

Tryna by Cancer moon

Before Young T went to bed he poured a glass of water and looked out the kitchen window to his backyard and noted how the snow made 3:00 A.M. look like 6:00 P.M.. Only difference being that if he stepped outside with his glass of water to the seeming twilight he wouldn’t be able to hear the rush-hour traffic like he usually could if it was Friday and 6:00 P.M.. Young T didn’t bother going outside because the snow was still falling a little and it’d be there when he woke up. And the neighborhood would still be silent, as it always was.

Young T woke up and his fan was still humming its white noise which he needed to sleep at night even though it was January and his dad was reluctant to leave the heat on over night. The small fan sat on his dresser and was pointed away from his bed towards his window which emitted a sharper and more blinding afternoon light than what he was used to. He checked his phone for the time, it was about noon - about the time where his parents bedroom door would open and their TV would blast the local news and his persian cat, Jo Jo, would meow at his door from which would force him out of bed to open the door so Jo Jo could jump up on his bed to sleep on his pillow from which he would either start his day or keep doing nothing. This time he laid back down, idly on his bed, with the covers pulled over his head to lessen the effects of his slight cat allergy. Jo Jo had a flat face and was grey and fat, and he occupied the entire pillow. Young T thought of how he wanted to trade lives with Jo Jo.

Young T couldn’t fall back to sleep, so he looked at his phone. He bireifly looked at worldstarhiphop, Twitter, then Instagram.

Then he went to bed with a head ache and woke up in college.

9/27/17 wednesday

Tycho: excuse me, hey, getting along just fine, I see? Yolandra: hey, and yeah, sort of, just studying, whats going on with you T: Nothing, the usual, i guess, being responsible, trying not to offend anyone. Y: Oh but you're so innocent. If anyone's offended its on them, not you. T: But my presence alone, I dont know, like I'm out of place or something. And I just want to tell people,  Yeah, so, I know how strange it is, me being here and all. Y: You're a free spirit amongst prisoners. That was my favorite part about getting to know you.

Tycho: After all these years, not for a second did i think you were right for me. And thats why i liked you. Cus I'm crazy. Yolandra: thats okay? what do you mean?, i want to get inside your head again. T: [pause] Most people wouldnt understand. Y: Don't be too cool for school. Im not most people. If I knew what was good for me, I'd have cut ties with you a long time ago. But im a crazy bitch too. Havent you realized? T: Yes. Youre highly psychic when it comes to "free spirits" like me - and you, though maybe, "lost soul" would be a better term for me. Though I dont mind being lost. It keeps things interesting.   Anyway, you should spend your energy on solving world hunger than worrying about me. Y: dont be so difficult. catching vibes isnt easy you know? coming for your type. Who knows, maybe youre worth it. Tycho: well, your the first to try me like this. im mysterious for a reason. Yolandra: And do you know why exactly? T: Thats for me to decide. Y: It's so damn frustrating. But I guess some things are better left unsaid. T: Most people wouldnt understand that, what youre saying. Indescribable feelings we know happened but fall short in explaining. That sort of thing. Y: I call those. "You had to be there" moments. Tycho: Honestly i never gave up on you, only myself, thinking you were different from my dream girl.   it took months for me to realize that but when i did the only thing i wanted to do was forget i ever met you. Yolandra: than what? T: the rest of these simple people that surround us, they see in a way thats opposite of what i am. Y: how convenient it must be. to blame your problems on people you dont even know. and just say "fuck it." I envy you. T: just my luck haha. of being born into myself, my personality forgive me, i dont mean to be such a downer. thats my ego talking Y: you had to be there T: where? Y: in my memories. T: it matters that much to you? Y: if I could find you in a crowd, just to say something, anything, even if i have to scream it in your ear,  then you'd know how much it means to me. Tycho: I'll be waiting for you to say hola.

9/30/17 saturday In the midst of an obnoxious trap beat I remember what my grandpa used to tell me. It's the harsh realities of life that stick with us the most. A dream is only a dream until you make it come true. Never hit a women no exceptions." He would say to a 7 year old me. Now I wish I had the balls back then to tell him that his strict army ass probably never had a dream that went beyond what he already knew. Like revisiting the same shitty cloud of meaningless thoughts every night till you reincarnate into someone who revisits a slightly less shitty cloud over and over until they become someone like me, who lives on the cloud everyone strives to be, forgetting those elvish looking folks of the below who never leave the house except to get groceries. There's comes a point in life where you just gotta be honest with yourself, and say hey, i just dont match the freqeuncy anymore. It's okay. I can still pretend like that one MGMT song, but im fading away. Fuck. I get naseous and imagine a cop coming around the corner which kills my vibe for a second so I take my headphones off, spit on my finger tip, ash the blunt, and walk to my dorm. I'm in water so muddy that the surface is all I have to cling onto. What lies beneath is my past, housing the memories like demons. Of course, her face, would be in the middle. Falling more faintly in detail as I wake up sober and go to sleep high and dream nonsense that somehow doesnt go away like the usual forgotten dream you usually wouldnt give a second thought to otherwise but this morning my head feels foggy and theres a vague recollection of a search going on but I dont know what it's for and my chances of knowing diminish as I go deeper into the day. A search, it's on repeat, like my brain is an actual TV. Thats probably a normal thought to have, though I've never heard it in real words. "Is my brain a TV." I say to myself.                                                                 if you can call it that. but those take the shape of monsters of which, as if I had no choice, I find myself preparing for so when the moment really matters, I can either go down in a blaze of glory or come out on top like the badass I imagine myself to be. All I know is that I was born and now I have to live.

Maybe because my past is so glaringly depicted onto a person I refuse to acknowledge. All that shit was a dream. The only thing that matters is the present, right? Bill Nye the Science Guy would agree with that. Back in elementary whenever we had a sub for the day, a cart would roll in and thats how you knew. I watched his show in elementary school, when we had a substitute teacher. Those were the best days. I had no worries then, able to speak freely with no inhibitions as if duality had nothing to latch its mechanical claws onto. Wait, I'm thinking about the past again. And thats going way back. Fuck! Okay.. On your feet soldier! That baby momma drama dont fly out here in the real world. out here  it's the winners and the losers, haves and the have-nots,  thats the way it is.

We're here to endure anxiety. I dont care about this slave shit. I think im gonna drop out. These fucking people bro, I shouldve known better than to come here. Deep down in the recesses of my highly realized capacity for recognizing everyday objects I'm  hearing the voice my computer makes. It just so happens that I'm a little different from everyone else. I see things. Feel them. Some are expressed. Others proccessed. Though most get put away for later. These things I speak of is all they'll ever be to Some bad. Some good. But in the end I understand the root cause  is nothing and thats where I pretty much exist anyway. In between any and all things, including people. At least that what it feels like. So although I may come off as shy and maybe a bit soft to the average layperson I aint no bitch and I wont hesitate to put my body on the line to make some headway when it comes to cementing my place as a savage demon in the halls of said layperson's memory bank. Someone who is wise would recognize the virtue of my conviction It is only because I must prepare for that singular moment, an unknown point in the fabric of time and space. To where if theyre not careful, a life's worth of energy should be pitted against me as if one were to stand a chance against the power housed within my vessle. Theres no such thing as a polite gesture. Nobody asks me how my day is "going" for no other reason than to relay to me how their own special day is "going". reckoning between a humble acknowledgement that I can never truly grasp the reason for existing and therefor should play my part in keeping the peace, versus pure badass in a world of sheep. And the more I get to know my surroundings, the more I reach erradically for the inherent bliss found within the path of satanism.

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Spmewhere off in the distance, Crermoth sits on a palm tree idly sculpting astral suspensions into a tattered fervor of mesh for working the keys of ineptitude. She is oblivious to her surroundings, not caring for chatty and gossip which she cant seperate between her reality and theirs because she is sensitive and when the the fully recognized sage, Esoh, confronts her about she says she much prefers it that way.

Their balance among them. With the wind at her side, Hojihka refuses the initial preference of her stillness and moves in a nameless precession by the whim of her ancestral birth right. "aaa may-ee soo shay-noo"

Her possession wakes up without a name. a new and more elaborate transposition of jubilee onto each successive indifference. The attention to one area renders the outer confines a vacuum enveloping the excess span unto both of their liable to taken over like a plain, sole, unconscious will. It certainly does its job Crermoth and has become something of a plan b pill thats taken during one of her many unpredictable episodes of self hate and general spiritual torment. One time she told J-Money she was a demon in a matter of factness that still haunts J-Money in moments when he pretends it doesnt bother him.. Reliant upon the interaction of her world and the next. Crermoth normally prefers being to herself on nights like these, that way she can answer any calls at a moments notice. A dimension close enough so that she may assist her friends in earthly manners of which, by the natural law of limitation, those lacking the incessant nobility of the Orisha cannot be bothered to see to themselves, less the tether between her world and theirs be rendered a useless tattered fervor of mesh that gives way to any varitable knock of an over arching brood of usurpment of the mundane frequency. “I need space. I only have but so much light of see to her calling as a being of light, assisting the pieces of herself that we’re lost during the falling. You remember that don’t you?” She says “Of course I remember. But only as a matter of fact. Upon closer reflection I fail to see the relevance of a subtle hunch with no bearings in the present.”

I must know that I’m allowed to be straight up with you, else I run the risk of straying from my calling. If there’s anything I hate more than being ignored its catching myself being lazy to the voices. “She musn’t veer to far.” Esoh said on a mountain.

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The woman wakes up to look around. Store-bought soil, empty bike-rack, office building. "Harder. Think harder. Come on girl." She stands for dignity's sake. A car traces a hilltop in the distance. She raises her cold arms to the sun in defiance of stillness. Nothing is in tune with the nature of her being besides the stale wind of a coming day. "Where are you?" The car freezes as it reaches the horizon, but the sound remains on loop. Whirrrrr A portal manifests abruptly and Elegua arrives on a chariot of skulls. "Erzulie, madame, how nice it is to see you this early in the morning." A whisp of fire cleans her face and the car continues over the horizon. "It really shouldnt be, not like this. Where Im at should tell a lot you know." Erzulie said. "Quite a dense reply to a longtime friend, dont you think" "Hmm, considering how I slept in a bush last night and dont remember a thing. I shouldnt need to explain myself." "No? is the friz on your hair not matching the blood on your knees? I can't tell which." Elegua said.     Or is the attitude possessing you as if theres no consequence for ill-manneredness? I cant tell which." So long as one's not so dense up his selfish ass that he aint notice." "Oh so now all a sudden you about the finer things in life? We can switch places less you miss me. Erzulie said. Im only pointing out the obvious." Elegua said. Erzulie replied with silence, forcing life to flash before his eyes. She learned this from her Mother, Darkness. "Attitude is possessing you. I cant tell why but its a poison I dont deserve. I was only trying to help" He continued. "I just dont fuck with being called too early. So long as youre not too dense up your ass to take notice, safe to say i'm in some shit right now." "Clearly. A product of consequence." Elegua said randomly. "Yeah, recognize. Please, for me, baby?" "No more testing your patience, Goddess immortal of justice. Save that for what I came to tell you about." "Take me to cleanliness, saintly promise of wisdom. For im not feeling myself." They left the scene to the past and pondered on the pyramid they had just made with each other. "It's nice to be home." Erzulie said. Flying over the palm trees brought Elegua back to his power. "On the basis of love." Elegua said. The salt-water washed away all glimpses of doubt Erzulie had of her beauty. And she harnessed the pastels of the ocean. Thus, all guilt was abolished and unconditional love was convinced to dance within them. Drying his body under the rays of Amen reminded Elegua of his first words. Long ago, before Time was born. "O Father, you are so brilliant." "Thank you, son. I am the Light" "Then tell me, Father, if you are the Light, and are so brilliant, then why is it you flee from Darkness?" "All I do is my purpose, which seeks to balance harmony with creation. Although it is much more complicated than that. Like always I suppose. I'm afraid you ask me a question that I cannot answer. Here, because you are so curious, I will show you." "I'm ready, Father." Light grew brighter causing Elegua to cry in his recollection of what it felt like to say words. The links in his mind straining to pull in the right words. Not too plain to where the moment would be lost in happen stance, and not too radical so that his manhood could stay irrefutable (to convey meaning.) Then Light disintegrated into everything and Elegua searched for Light ever since. So Elegua went to the crossroads, and prodded Darkness for Light's wherabouts, "I want to relive the the moments before he left for eternity. Where can I find him?" Without a hug or a kiss, she told him to let go of his experience in order to live in the now, "Take his place and move forward. Grow up, your Daddy's gone cus you never did." "How could you say that me? I love you, Mom. Yet all I get is hate. Why are you hiding the truth from me?" "If I don't hate you, then who will? You got so much to learn that my heart breaks into brass. You must leave, understand me? LEAVE, before I do what your Father did and them some. I'm this close. Believe me." With nowhere else to go, Elegua obeyed the commands of his Mother. Although lonely at first, the spirits of the dead related to his despair, and offered to guide him through all the known and unknown realms of Ether, so long as he guided the spirits of the living to his Mother. So that the dead could learn for themselves the origins of their being dead. And when Light came back, they could say "Father, we know of Hate, now teach us Love." Elegua tried telling them that it was hopeless, that his Father was there, just not in the way they imagined, that they we're actually his Father and they had to realize it through an altered perception. but that negativity only made them more adament to their cause which annoyed Elegua into a manic spell of existential irony which persisted during times of war with the Snakes on 5th density. One battle in particular Badly wounded, he pulled his chariot with his arms to the middle of a corn-field on a full-moon during the Solstice, it was there he made a pact with his self, to never be ignorant to the fact that fate was an inescapable constant within all contributors to existence. That the very fabric that distinguishes the dead from the living was comprised of scattered shards of an indestructable essence that attached itself to the spirit-body via fate which is the Father of destiny. That the collective conscious is woven by the thread of Fate, thus binding a common goal, or Destiny, inherent to all beings of both polarities, thus setting in motion the spiral of gnosis, which lends itself to the spreading of keys that open the doors to helping each other fulfill each others Purpose. "I will collect the pieces of my Father so that I may speak with him again as I did as a child. I will never forget you because I love you. You are everything to me, which is all I ever could be. Please, I want to know why you flee in the face of Darkness."

____10/9/17 monday

My pace quickens as I veer away from the crowd onto the handicap stairs. I silently count my steps to give off a pensive, non-assuming vibe. Over by the quad theres crows just walking on the grass. Yet I'm the only one who seems to notice, even from a distance. The busses haul ass down Memorial St. I've learned to always be on alert because I'll never know whats waiting for me when I turn my attention off the floor and become reminded of string theory. Artificial energy, cork boards with grime on the edges, tunnel of dull ends, spongy plywood cielings. as i step with my head down and in every so sudden a demarcation in the bricks, the reptiles answer emails. This is where I'm going. Because my soul chose to live here at some point in time not too long ago considering the relationship between all that the universe has to offer and my general apathy towards said all as in any and all one. Which has become quite of a bore ever since the first week ended I had to come to terms with the reality that friends won't simply fall into my lap like they would     if I wasnt such      a masochist for being lonely. The row of pillars turn to one and all I see is the contentment in the air of the lobby. In the hallway are casually turned faces which glide about in a linear fashion like the ghost of a lost bride.. I get a side-view of the people afraid to admit that this is far from the paradise we expected it to be. The brochure in our acceptance letters didn't include the drunken nights of another dimension. I'm inside the life of an architect. One who's dead by now, but lives on through his work. I'm not going anywhere, the building would say, if it could talk. And I suppose it can. Because I just had the thought, and nothing is ever truly wrong without another thought to compare it to. But then if buildings could speak existed first, and was allowed to grow and find its place in the universe, then it'd be established enough to not warrant an adversary. But the question remains where, if it existed, was its fate organized before coming into my mind, awaiting my final judgement. Substitute me for a unicellular collective conscious and it seems like we're all dealers of fate her on planet earth of the milky way of the universe of the whatever comes next (should we ever know for sure). he or she deserves all the credit for it manifesting onto the grid of my consciousness, which is a zig zag joint's worth of a high right now. The perfect amount for not giving a fuck while still staying slick enough for witty comebacks. Which wouldn't hurt right now. This building isn't going anywhere. Though I wish it would. Because I dread what I'm about to do How he must have pained to communicate something he could call his own while maintaining a dignified and safe, always safe, because god forgive, well, you know, , putting the pen to the pad, drawing  collumns in front of a Victorian fassad Succumbing to authority just to eat with a roof over your head and not freeze your ass off like a homeless freak. Profit margins in the final half of quarter one are lower than 1 standard deviation to what is considered by corporate to be optimal. As of now, the college has no incentive to ship in product from outside sources. All inventory must be stored in house to the buyer's demand. You better not be late.

___ On the parking deck

Tycho: “I had a dream I was on an internet forum. Someone posted the words: “life is an endless hell. With a blurry picture of a street at night-time. Not much different from what’s in front of us. I thought that made sense, until I scrolled down, to see a video looking out the windshield of a vintage rolls royce, coasting along a pacific highway. And the lines kept going. Next thing you know I’m falling down a pitch black waterslide, dreading my destination. If I never woke up I have a funny feeling i know where it was leading.

Preacher: In that instance did you feel the need to repent for your sins?

Tycho: No. that didn’t cross my mind. It was too late at that point.

Miranda: “I used to.

T: What made it stop?

Miranda: Seeing all the happy people around me. And knowing that they’ve been through the same shit. Break-ups, Death in the family, just generally feeling lost.

My heart was broken ”

T: Getting over the mind can be a dark place when it has nowhere else to rest. You can train it to think anything.”

Miranda: True

Tycho: Lately Ive been taking these long drives late at night into the boonies. Just to see where I up. I realized theres so many lives I’ll never know about.

If i wasnt born into money maybe I’d be humble enough to hate myself for even thinking such a thing.

How’d you get out of that?

Miranda:

These know it all professors are getting on my nerves. I fear Im crossing into an abyss I’ll never fully understand. Honestly I can’t fuckin stand these people. What name do I have to make for myself that i haven’t already experienced in the depths of my soul?

Tyco: You know how they try to act like they all official and shit, like I won’t see past it.

Miranda: [agreement] They do that.

Tyco: [stream of consciousness] So I just told her look I know its a rule, but I’m all about learning at my own pace and no disrespect i love her but Mrs. Soso can only go so far in telling me how to write. You can give tips and tricks but at the end of the day, I’ve been developed my writing style.. Like I thought we were done with all this high school shit. Well I didnt say that.

M: And what’d she say?

Tyco: She was like “As you get further into your major 90% of your assignments will be in essay format.. we require full participation “ At this im like she gonna hit me with the book like hell nah THEN outta nowhere She said “However, I also believe in 2nd chances.”. On the outside I was cool but inside I was like “*fist bump* yo i cannot fail outta college like someone watchin out for me idk who but-

Chad: fuck that shiiiiit *holds up white rum in front of street light”

Friend in background: 12! 12! 12!

Abrupt scene change. Camera shows Tyco zoned out. Then police car, as Tyco begins to hide behind the tree hes smoking on.

My black hoodie and phone-call to my dealer will still be with me tomorrow as I do the same thing.

(From a dream 10/23)

Tyco is driving around serving with Shantel when she lights her phone up from the passenger seat and puts the phone to her ear.

Shantel: You are not finna be talkin all that mess on my phone. Be honest with                  yourself. Don’t lie. You a hoe ass bitch.

?? Caller: Why are you even calling me? I dont give a fuck.

Shantel: Wait till I pull up then and slap the shit out you. Would that be better                     sweety?

?? Caller: I’m at Kawaii’s 30 deep. Bring your lil boyfriend and see what                          happens.

Shantel: Try me bitch.

[ The economy sedan turns right on red seemingly without breaking. ]

Tyco: 30 deep huh?

Shantel: With them ratchets.

Tyco: She sounds scared as hell aint nobody sticken up for her like that. You know they gonna talk shit right but soon as we throw them hands they gon be like, I dont know that bitch.

Shantel: nah but she stupid tho like not even worth all that extra

Tyco: We’re going. Wheres that nigga house i’ll waze that shit and we get there we just pop off. Aite?

[Not looking at the road, but to her, coasting down an average 2-lane with box neon trimmed tire shops and drive-thru windows governed stately as immovable beasts of mothership stores lurk behind low-sodium trenches of the new world order’s surveillence agenda for mass poplations en masse. ]

              Just follow me. I’m walkin in and gonna start a commotion just bussin                 and you just break this bottle on her mother fuckin head and we out.

Shantel: haaah what okay

Tyco: You’re gonna fuck her shit up som serious.

Shantel: She talk shit about you.

Tyco: It’s in the stars babe for real.

Shantel: You gonna help me find that bitch?

Tyco: You my fucken queen I love you and I got you.

Neighborhood entrance.

Cars parked for miles.

House identified first glance.

Park.

Car doors..

Hip-Hop

Grass.

Walkway.

Steps.

Porch.

Door opens and yellow tops within the frame.

!! WHERE YOU AT// YALL FAKE AND CANT FINESSEE !!

AAAAAH YOU UGLY DARK SKINNED NIGROS

The caller is sitting on a couch ass to ass with other dudes. Looking stupid.

She never saw Shantel. Who came upon her like The Ring.

She has become a party magnet. It is a Slayer concert now. Nobody knows who’s who. Though Tyco is surely getting his ass beat. He catches of glimpse of Shantel’s fat ass ducking through the doorway and he could die right now and it wouldnt matter.

*GUN SHOT*

FUCK GOIN ON HERE MANE

“This not the place for you bro. - White boy comin up here in my place of business - Tryna pop shit off like you really not a bitch”

Kawaii looks up with his glock-9 extendo at his GD party mostly all gone just like that. The poor girl is still leaking.

“She need to go to the hospital.” Her friend says.

He points the glock at his head. Despair.

“Look around before I kill you.” An invitation.

Tycho: “I sold a 4 oz today after my accounting exam. I could be GD, 74, rock                            purp. whatever it be its nothing but Respect yo. Got connects with chad and Becky nahmean dog. Could put you on to some numbers they white and they fiends. Please OG.

“How much for a zip.”

“80, gas.”

“Was that yo bitch?”

“yea”

Kawaii: You lyin to me?

“No.”

“She eat your ass?”

“Yeah and bounce on my BIG ASS DICK” Tyco says with autism.

K walks away.

T: they don't even sell Molly bruh

K is you fucken high you dummies. Beat this nigga ass. *Tyco imagines the why the fuck you lyyin vine and remembers the exact moment he realized that wasnt an original song but actually a spin off of a classic throwback jam by the 90s R&B group “Next” in their hit single “Too Close”.. He was driving home from the cafe he used to write high school essays in while smoking a menthol american spirit with the windows rolled down on a spring evening playing KISS 104.1 Atlantas classic jams. Then he realized there was a full 6 minute video of the vine on youtube. After watching it he felt gayer. Thats all it did for him.

Tycho wakes up on living room floor.Terry (random G, on couch): *Hands him note× Kawaii said he's sorry. No hard feelings ya heard dog?

Tyco: I guess thugs act on impulse. *looks at note* and don't count on a gahdamn thing you bitchass motherfuckers. Tyco walks into class with a black eye. The Professor talks about interest loans. Tyco meets Moe after class in parking lot.

*Moe: Waddup

Tyco: It's lemon og I just got in.

Moe: Bet. Those last cookies you got. Bomb dude. It had them frar mother fuckers leanin like they can't handle that purp like that nahmean.*laughs*

Tyco: I got some backwoods you wanna hotbox.

Moe: Yo I'm down.

10/24/17 thursday

____ Last night I decided not to hate myself. The look I get from them doesnt bother me. Really, its a simple sign from nature that I’m used to by now. A wrong impression can sustain the fog of memory, of which I will be seen from the lens of another dimension, with not a care in the world, an angel in disguise. Thats the crux of my life up to this point. To no longer hate myself. But appear as if I still do. The nameless place in our past with no address., one of which even a frat boy can relate to. This invisible standard that’s thrown us into the pits of despair must be addressed. To seperate the real from the fake. Like the others are sleep walking through class fronting like they dont see me. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my third eye, televising scenes of sleep walkers who stay fronting like they dont see me. Walking behind the parking deck where green dumpsters were with my phone to my ear is a feeling that remains within me until I do the same thing over again in a few days. Buying in bulk never appealed to me. And if a 20 a g was the price thered be nothing my lonely ass could do. Fuck this worthless paper, I tell myself.

I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days.

I’m signalling. Though I havent been approached yet.

Figuring that would resolve the look I give other people. I mean, christ, I turned 18 last March. And spent the Summer in a last ditch effort to secure an identity before I made my plays in college. For too long I’ve avoided the call of the light and in return have gotten blank stares.

(SOMEHOW gets wrapped up into a petty conversation with sorirty girl (on top of parking deck.)

Clarissa: I was the only one alone in the entire party.

Tycho: Why didnt you leave?

T: Dont worry I dont wanna know your major.

C; Good cus it keeps changing.

T: You think you know everything dont you? This world aint nothin babe.

C: Why do you say that?

T: What do you wanna know? That I get money? Thats nothin.

Clarissa drifts off.

Hannah: So Stacy’s telling me the banners weren’t in that right place and we’re like an hour away from starting and we still haven’t even got the chairs in order and barely anyone who was suppose to be here has shown up yet.

Tycho: Where were they?

“Well for one, Candace, I dont know whats her problem lately, but shes been gone because her best-friends now telling her she’s not rushing anymore but thats honestly a relief because that girl wheres winged eyeliner and thinks shes better than us.”

Tycho: Oh, I think I’ve seen that girl at the library or something.

     I intuit that in order to justify her reasoning for not liking the winged eyeliner girl, that she channeled my very own resonant storm cloud of which I emit silently in the face of vanity..  

H: Well you’ll probably see her there a lot more cus shes definitely not with us.

“Okay so thats one.” I say as if taking notes.

“Then Rachel’s out at some charity event that I never even heard of probably with a guy she’s not telling us about which is so frustrating that of all days you pick friday night at the peak of rush to go be a hoe behind our backs.”

“Did she ever show up to the party?”

“Yeah. And she was fucking drunk.” She said as if surprised but not really because this is Rachel we’re talking about, after all.

“Like wasted orrr “

“Damn I didnt know yall got down like that.”

“Umm when youre stumbling through the door and your first words to all the new girls is hallelujah bitches!

She wasn’t with a guy.

“So tell me more about the party. Like was there”

who nobody knows anyway

is that Cheyenne is just out of it because her friends now telling her she doesnt want to rush anymore and for one its like look,

Wait, who’s hannah?

Hannah’s the leader of her sorority.

Ooooh, Okay, I see why now

-Yeah, I mean if word got around that would literally mean she was going around their backs to cover up that she was lying.

> Right. Yeah I hear what you sayin. She’s trying to make it seem as if it never concerned yall in the first place but if thats the case then she dont need to be acting like she got the right to be trusted.

This goes beyond reputation. Manipulating emotions just cus she has none of her own. Conniving biitch.  just to get her way goes beyond reputation.

Aint nobody wanna be around that energy.

> So what you tell her?

I get schizophrenic when it comes accepting new ways of being. The person I made him out to be was the perfect cure for my suffering. All those forgetful nights of boredom I knew what I needed all along, but was to scared to do it myself.

------ Frat house halloween party kidnap scene ----

GD shaman prays to shango for power to go out by mantra. Squad in car repeats the same mantra. The power goes out at 1:00 (or peak of the party).

Tycho throws blue flare through the side of the window

at the Tycho must find Chad and lure him downstairs near the door so the squad can get the keys to the room full cocaine and adderal. After looking everwhere he’s no where to be found. He walks in on a couple having with the girl in missionary with devil ears. “Yo chad that you?” Its

(fuckem x3) Music stops from power so he sneaks in wireless speaker in his robot costume  and puts it at one end of the room. Squad member 1 will carry bigger wireless speaker and set it down when he storms in. Tycho also brings a timed strobe light to distract people and keep the illusion of the party still going.

Tycho runs down stairs and towards door with chad chasing him. Squad slaps tape and mask on him and carries like a battering ram although theyve already kicked the door.

*Power turns back on*

“Fuck em, fuck em, nigga get out my section

Don’t want to see him, I don’t want to touch him

*waves zippo lighter in front of face so chad can see him through mask*

“Ima count 3 seconds and your dead on 5 if i dont get this combination” says calmly. thus saiyth the lord thy god”

“Three... No mercy”

“Two.. Shall be given unto those”

*gives code*

          “One.”

Love takes many shapes and forms.Tycho never opened up to people, hating himself for being incapable of feeling what others felt. He wanted more so he went spiritual. Which his close friends perceived as going off the deep end."Ayy whatsup bro you tryna smoke?""I have a calc exam tomorrow but I'm down after."Aight good luck on your studying tonight and then kill it tomorrow I know you got this calc is your specialty can't say the same for me but that's why you always tutored me haha."Let me know if you need more help. Figuring their was no bounds and he could be whatever, even silent, and experience irony rather than fate. How bland, he thought, to have a life plan and nothing to look forward to. Running drugs would be a necessary chain reaction. The highest elixer exceeding the bliss provided by the very weight he'd be pushing, itd be getting off on defying his own life, leaving spirit his only option. And so like a blackbird his soul seeks experience only in the clearest degree of visibility. Swerving transgressions of lonliness to levy the burdens of contrived responsibilities at societies every turn until his flight patterns veer from the trodden path to and fro the calling of reality in which he desires to preside over as a God of many statures. Untainted by works, head first into the entity of the adversary, of which he is able to predict the situational consequence in only a glimpsing moment before havoc ensues and the final hour is upon him, his loose wings coated with astral charcoal of depravity. Be caught slipping once and he loses the jump until the enevitable program takes its course - an unstoppable relationship between fate and reckoning that must be fulfilled as day turns to night. Once that happens he reverts back to being like the rest of them. Yet to the world, now desolated beyond repair, hed still be alive, exuding a calm presence that something is not quite right with him existing without remorse. The truth is simple enough, a hint just ever so slight as to never be able to cross the threshold of utterance, thus becoming rendered a convinction of self delusion on the part of the unknowing accuser, who by this time hates himself for even thinking badly of such a good guy to make peace with.  The collage curtails past the illusion of what is already known and at last the watchers take notice and thus regeneration is able to take place along all the land, allowing for new energy to take the throne of anticipation. One that has harnessed the potential to become anything the wonder puts his mind too. So what if I'm imaginative? Yolandra: I mean everyone's different in their own way. Like yeah the soroitys have a dress code and all that Starbucks and capris. But I don't know. You just have to get know a person for who they are and not how the outside world perceives them to be. T: So what'd you first think of me? Yolandra: Honestly not much anything. You were one of those people who could be anything. But then I overheard you say taurus's are gold diggers and I hated you cus I'm a taurus. T: Oh sorry I really didn't mean it like that but c'mon now I can tell you have a taste for finer things you bougie little.. Boob. *laugh\ haha "you know what I mean" It doesn't bother you? What? That so much could go wrong so quickly? Look, deep down he's telling you his heart lies with getting over and you let him because that's /just what you like about him, how deep he gets. cus he's a sad and selfish individual who was never about loving anything other than vanity. The best thing to do would be to trust his actions, intentions aren't what's important right now. Really, forget about the soul connection. Loves comes through all types of people as long as you're open to receiving them. Those energies. Don't lose yourself in the illusion. Without ever taking credit for what truly matters which should be you. Then your fashion made sense to me. T:  I'm so caught up in myself. I mean, it's impossible to know anything else. I'll never get to stand in your shoes. Its just truth. Yet I'm the bad guy. You're not like the other people I've met. T: Yeah I'm kind of loner if you couldn't tell already. I guess that's a good thing.T: Hey it's okay. I get that a lot... Wait what do you mean you guess? Ive found that who evers saying does a 180 in their normalcy.  Knowing your even here right now is a good thing. Knowing that you're with me even when im not. Don't you think? Starting out with confidence and ending strong to be lucky if I'm not hurt. Tell me what you want out of this. Sometimes I feel so lame, then I realize how fun itd be to not care. Through the window screen i see parchments and grass blades, this is an image I've sought to ignore for its blandness thinking I was over recognizing such mundane structures. The sunlight made me drunk with non verbal contemplation. I crave this heat when I'm in low spirits. And a breeze when I'm high. My thoughts are channeled from a lonely place (My thoughts come from a lonely place)  I've had no choice but to become accustomed to for my own sanity. To work faster and breach that veil of reckonning. So unreachable and enticing at the same time.T When I'm alone, welcome something more than the past if you ever cared to help me. This isn't the only world out there. And even if it was the material would eventually reach infinity. Then a black hole would open or something. Don't quote me on that, science is the hottest thing going right now. It cant hurt to butt in unofficially. As long as no one calls you on it. The universe molds to your confidence. That's another story. At the end of the day, I have too much pride to be a scientist.  The God they're serving calls for a lot of self sacrifice. A self that ignores emergency when called to speak. A self i'm not prepared to lose. "Why are you here again, nothing will change, you're gonna be quiet like last time" any handle on reality I had during the sun rise flees like an ex girlfriend into the night. I'm not prepared to lose. Anxiety is that humid feeling you get when roughnecking the time away. Jaded peripherals, internet browsing, and fading friends initiate a color spectrum so cruelly vivid in its inability to be shared with the CVS cashier who looked at you wrong because you bought 3 4oz bottles of robitussin. A man who couldnt care to see the streets, stop signs, and traffic lights. Man is a slang term we use when caught in the moment. Of which matrix programming loves to grasp onto. --- 10/25/17 wednesday So here I am enjoying a piece of lackluster nothing for the sake of something I've agreed to experience in a past life I can't even remember but somehow must make amends to as if its an actual concrete thing I can touch and make sense out of without caring to ponder how life puts us in these type situations like getting your hair done a new way and meeting a friend of a friend superficially without ever following up like aight word up bro I feel you by the way hows life and what's the special fact I should become one with in this moment while not thinking too much in to things or else id be alone as if we're not alive under the stars for any other reason than to be happy but still to me that becomes too much like a flash in time rather than something meaningful because then sex would have to be our purpose for being here but you and I both know it's more complicated than that so we look into it via memories and realize the journey was brighter than the reward as in I don't remember the actual sex part but rather the day as a whole with stained glass sprinkled in on a film reel to push the past into something real and unexplainably alluring to the self of which we projected this light onto in order to perhaps know in advance maybe how to repeat this metaphysical phenomenon for a second time because we're not quite there yet although at this rate if seems that to finally reach a state of thereness would mean we wouldn't be able to be here right now having this conversation like a building block struck from below or a house of cards we have to keep faith that every moment plays its part because we had an emotion for it and therefore couldn't be rendered to nothing in a wreckless attempt force it all together rather let each tile compliment it's neighbor and bypass the need for destruction by allowing enough caring energy to flow through that filter mechanism within you that deems lifes moments as worth remembering or forgetting and pretend you never heard about forgetting and avoid it like the plague because everything that ever was is depending on you to go forth into righteous so that gods original intention for letting go of unwanted baggage be synthesized within your vessel of upgrades intelligence so that the journey can still be appreciated only this time without th deceptive veil of the end. to question the little things that somehow don't mean much but at the same time appear to us daily as conduits for good fortune and thats what we must uphold ___ 11/2/17 thursday

I you and me playcated on a surface of stones that match our longing to search in the wrong places. Convenient are we done such a conceivable time that is time which is also time because what more can be said other than us winding down a fire escape to an inexplicable hatch sitting like paper mache on our transformative spiritual natures. Gone already but not forgotten just make sure to take the negative side of every situation involving 1 or more parties so as to make sure the rythym is in order because you can't go wrong with challenging the status quo of an area you're not suppose to be in even if that seems too easy and superficial it's the right choice because even the idea of rebellion as a bad thing must be able to project into a physical thing prompt for examination so secrets may be revealed. Wouldn't you know i stopped believing in faith due to its redundancy of chasing metaphysical strings too far out for us to put into words and isn't that the source of all our angst. Depraved of propositional phrases and elemental tables it's all so clear to me now. Casandra had a bag and Mikey had his sneakers in the forefront like a low hanging fruit but of course they had personalities that weren't so easy to see unless the hard work of interfacing came into the equation. Lets judge people based on judging for the sake of basing ourselves onto something not within our realm of reality. Perception is a hard question i think maybe inanimate objects could tell us a thing or two. Low pressure sodium lamps.Documentorial lecture hall amps failing to reach the end of the pyramid turned 90 degrees away from its focal point. May disease not reach our unexplainable selves if ever they may inhabit our temporary vessels like a friend who has no friends but you and wants desperately to get along with others but is attached to your ways. Are we in hell? What can our astral travels tell us about signaling locations with Etheric marks of time dialation. Things are what they are by defintion or they wouldn t be things however stepping the observer up a notch sets in motion cancer to grow from the singular notion that we ourselves separate on a cost of lightening our load. I am partly responsible for this mess we have made. Pulling my hair out in thin strands so as to not make a difference. Some people just don't understand what it means to be so far gone yet in a place of enchantment that lets us know we're not alone as Michael Jackson plays on the ham radio and Wikipedia says the song was written by r kelly. I'm a solitary young man, joined at the seams complacency and red-ridden vanishing points to a line of sight I'd rather not identify with if I had a choice. I'm seriously considering becoming rich and famous despite others already forcing me to. I guess eventually my spirit will give in as my soul looks from a distance and says what a fool I am then goes about his day. You can't be like the rest of them no matter how hard you try. Thinking on the sensualities you avoided after this rap shit led you no where. The palace at the height of creation where Jesus stopped and stared to collect his thoughts before he kept going when his alarm rang as his slave bending consistency tracked the new melinnia into a moldy piece of sandstone cheese the better of which tasted nutty with fruity notes and 80% abv shards of liquid glass on the throat thatd make even an immortal weep a shy tear or two. The pigs down in Mississippi feel things we can't understand in their slaughterhouse decrepit and forwarned in a musk ridden air flow that's non existent to hypocritical angels who were supposed to stop atrocity but opted to sit on their ads and play virtua tennis all day. Oink says the pig. Hee haw says the donkey. Give me life says the God and there on the 30th night fags came to tell the story on their faces. The bag lady told them to shut up and stop whining but they wouldn't listen though they lost their ability to speak. Goodness gracious me oh my great balls of fire. Great balls of ball you are the Lord of my lonely century in this dimension I took awareness to when I allowed you into my heart space.And then I left asking my self: Who is this I?

755559888a

Let’s stand for a while and think about the dastardly ways we have gone under the waters and flew away from temptation. Have us saying isnt it so pretty to be in something and have that to fall back on due to the struggles of forgetting the place we come from which didnt always have it out for us this bad in refusing us of inconjunctions we can at least point to and blame our problems on saying “See! There, I told you so. That’s why we cant find our beginning!” And we’ll keep toilling the fields as halflings saving up for a chance to leave the very universe we serve. “So thats more like it. Finally something I can get my flows on to” Shelly the alien said. “The Stars dont have to like you just because you see them. They have their place and so do we” Gerald said. “Oh but they do.” “How do you know?” “Well for one they always shine bright at the most oppurtune times, like when I’m feeling down about the part of myself that conveinently seems to escape me just when I need it most. If that be so then put me on to something else and that’ll do just fine.” “Perhaps you're not as big as you thought ”  Gerald held up his hand to salvage what was left of the dissolving psychic barrier between them. An invisible giant with an ocd issue. For now he could only listen. “No im not here to choose and thats exactly why Im not afraid to go where you can’t. Having the courage to admit your wrongs requires as much energy as universal rotation itself - a force which exists beyond our pleaidien awareness. ” “ But Shel- Okay whatever” Gerald paused and rolled the horizon through his scaly fingertips. “Keep calling on the unknown and you might get lost because it’s been there forever and sometimes Look, Shelly, no offense, you know I love you, but your awareness has no filter on what representation it can cling onto like danger isnt a reality to you. Me and Dazel always had to look out for you and thats just in this world what makes you think you can take on things you cant even see? “But do you believe in me? Anyone can say they love me. I’ve been hearing that my whole life. So much that it holds the same meaning as “um” does in conversation. Is that really the final conclusion we have at the end of the day? That you love me? Besides, I dont think you really meant that.”

“Here goes Miss Type-1 personality again. Always needing to label circles into squares, stars into gods, this as that, out of an inability to cope with insecurity. Leaving the rest of us as unwilling participants.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S WRONG IN NATURE?”  Shelly bawled.  

The beach of Temofose was out of walking distance from the orange cottage they grew up in with there Mom. When they were young it was somewhere theyd go when they had nothing else to do. Euweu Sister Beach was the brighter of the two, but now too populated for their liking. Temofose is less frequented by other families and polluted by cargo ships and a lack of open views but as they stood there a semblence of twilight through the holographic cages offered closure to the purpose of them arguing in the elements about a timeline Shelly was going to step into  And no matter what argument he could put forth, Gerald thought of it fruitless unless he spoke from his heart, a heart of which Shelly was currently taking the place of, so that he could not use it against her. “Shelly, I just hope you can understand how I dont want to let you go.” “I’m sorry you feel that way. But it’s my choice. Have a good njght Gerald. I love you” She said as she went into darkness.

Summer Break 2018

As a street light exploring strip malls, I am a linoleum tile on top of a trapezoid emitting frames of rave scenes. Heres where I find myself walking through last nights dream of the gang member selling duck pussy then getting assaulted by a pizza guy and a cop. Alone after those nights. Seems love was never meant to be expressed but felt. I look inside to see if I’m about to die, seeing diamonds mixed with sky. Materializing in the backdrop of my memories. Now I know why.

Now I know.

Then a wren on the fence manifests when it needs to. The perspective pyramid is that I pleaded for a higher calling. There’s nobody bohemian as me.  One day I’ll take this civic off the road and escape into my sacred grove. If only I wasnt such a bitch.

I carry my single briefcase through the airport parking lot. I’m hot and out of breath. Everyone watching me. I can read their thoughts but not my own. They say look at the guy who isnt me but is still conscious enough to move his vessel.

The a/c runs down to the end of the terminal, but my spirit is squared by the stores selling vain material. The pyramid of perspective is an accordian overlayed on my mind’s eye televises scenes too chaotic to put into words. Walking through customs is an event to be remembered, I tell myself. Anyone who catches my glimpse pauses for a split second, calibrating my own opinion of the why in life. A definition of nuance that was never meant to be expressed but felt. To sense what I’ve been wanting, free and alone, after all those wasted days. I board the flight to say finally I am my own religion. If I was flying over africa I’d see bon fires, but over Georgia I only see street lights. Thinking how absurd that they will speak of me as crazy. Others will listen. A vibration through these amber aisles to look no further than my destiny. Because everyone has their destination is the way it goes. I refuse. I’m tired of being a number. Atlanta had its place. Now I’m homeless in Tokyo. This is the not-so perfect end to the chapter planned out for me by the higher power. Not-so bad neither.

Save me. I’m on the other side now.

[kpopsiblingreactions]

Monsta X Reaction To Sibling Having A Crush On Another Member

A/N: Thank you so much! For the request and the compliment I hope you enjoy! Also who’s excited for Monsta XRAY Season 3? Ahhhh I love it so far! (J>o<)J...Okay I’ll put my fanboy away for now!

Shownu/Hyunwoo

With Hyunwoo it all depends who you have a crush on. He is your overprotective brother but theres a point where he would accept SOME of the members. Hyungwon, Changkyun and Minhyuk would have a chance, but Jooheon Kihyun and Hoseok wouldn’t. NOW to the actual situation, Hyunwoo was just minding his own business, stopping by the house to see how you were doing, when he heard your squeal. Oh yes, he knows that squeal, its the “Im in love Squeal”. Staying quiet Hyunwoo listened in how you talked about how big of a crush you had on this member. He then goes to the living room to let you have your chat, he didnt want to interrupt. When you come out though you nearly have a heart attack, seeing the big bear sitting on your couch eating your pudding. Hyunwoo would wave, not able to talk because of the food. After swallowing the food he kinda just blurts it out. Depending on the member he looks pissed or surprised.

“So..You have a crush on one of the members..”

Wonho/Hoseok

Hoseok would hate the thought of you having a crush on one of the members. IF it actually manages to happen he is going to try to avoid the subject that you and them are dating. He wont go out of his way to stop your relationship though. He will watch it from afar, and if anything is to happen, since we all know how emotional Hoseok can get, he will panic and then start crying because his sisters hurt but he cant hurt them or do anything and everything might be ruined! Thats in his view at least, and may I say its a tad over dramatic. When he found out he was more then a tad over dramatic though. You were hanging around Monsta X a lot more. Bringing lunches for them, watching their practices, even watching them from backstage of interviews. At first Hoseok thought you were just being a supporting nice sister. Then he remembered why type of sister he had. You normally never want him around your friends so you dont go around his. Now-a-days you were definitely close to that member you have a crush on. So Hoseok waits till his driving you alone to ask. When you fess up like I said a bit of a freak out.

“No! No way! That is going to be so weird and awkward! How would you feel if I started to date one of your friends!?”

A/N:Its really hard to find a angry Wonho so I’m settling for a surprised one >.<

Minhyuk

Minhyuk is a bit of a wild card but I think I can point his reaction in the right direction. Minhyuk would actually love if you dated Kihyun or Hyungwon. Thats it. Anyone else he wouldnt be too upset but his not going to be happy about. Maybe Jooheon if you stretch it. Minhyuk actually figured it out on his own. When you were drooling over yourself during one of their practices. He would feel a bit awkward, because they were practicing and you were getting eye candy. After setting boundaries, like no drooling over them when his around and if you get together to let him know. If your relationship starts affecting Monsta X and his friendship though his going to cut that relationship right off. Sure that might be a bit much but he isnt going to ruin everything he has. He would give you guys time to sort it out but thats only like a two week thing, again stretching it, so after that yes, no go. 

“Please dont eye up the members while I’m around, do your hopeless crush thing when I’m away!”

Kihyun 

He would be annoyed but he would allow it. Anytime you want to talk about your relationship though he shuts you down. Since its a bit of a tug-a-war match when it comes to that. If you can manage to get him down and ask him things like what YOU are doing wrong in the relationship he will straight up tell you. No going around you it either. Dont worry he will tell plenty of embarrasing stories to your crush also. When Kihyun found out about your cursh it was kind of obvious. Whenever his friends were around suddenly you had a question on your homework and hung around. Especially when your crush was around. One day he invites you to go with them mini golfing, but he had alternative motives. By the end of the day he knew about your crush. When you get home he has mighty black mail as he is sure to let you know his new revelation. 

“You have a crush on him! Dont try to deny it.”

Jooheon

Ha! HAAA! HAHAAHA! You think you’re going to be able to date, let alone one of the members of Monsta X? Jooheon has a strict dating rule, no dating! When he finds out your crush he will do everything to keep you away. If you actually start dating Jooheon will pull you away, kicking and screaming if he must. He wouldnt want you to get hurt so why not just focus on video games with him and plan on not seeing your crush for months. Jooheon first found out because you actually told him. You had bravery, and that led to your fall. Jooheon immediately told you no and drew a thick line in the sand. You honestly should have known better. He would still hang out with you, he wouldnt be too angry because you know, crushes cant be controlled, but he wouldnt let you see that member at all, At least until he was sure you were done with your crush. 

“No, and thats final. No more hanging with my group either. No, not forever, just until this crush feeling fades away.

Hyungwon

Hyungwons main concern would be how this will effect his home life and work life. As long as thats untouched its fine. When you start hanging out with that crush a lot more then him he will get jealous. His a bit of an awkward brother so you two dont have the best of relationships. When he sees a relationship blooming between his group mate and you he will feel jealous, he wants to have a good relationship with you also. You were so obvious, it was kinda embarrasing. Hyungwon easily figured it out. Unless it was making the members uncomfortable he wouldnt take you out of the room to give you a talk, after you’re done though with the group and alone with Hyungwon though there are rules. Many rules. Hyungwon wouldnt be too concerned though, assuming you would follow them plus this may hel your and his relationship.

“Okay, first rules. Then we talk more about your little crush on him.”

IM/Changkyun

IM is reasonable, that includes with this. If at the moment they are super busy he will tell you no, for now. More like he will tell you wait until everythings slowed down a bit. Hoseok is 50/50 though Changkyun may say no to dating him. Mainly because he doesnt like him. A week of trying to convince Changkyun though and you likely will. He will even want to know whats going on between you two so he could be a mediator and try to keep the relationship thriving. Changkyun actually asked you because your crush asked him. Once he found out he would tell you his thoughts, they will never be a down right no. He might tell you wait for a bit but thats it. 

“Right now isn’t the best time, just wait till we’re done with promotions and the mini tour okay?”

[dweebobeebo-blog]

Vegas 3

words;1430

requested; Yes, Anon/ “can you do a part three of vegas” 

Warning; Smut, Cheating.

Today I'm meeting sabrina for lunch, it's been since that night with brendon. Did him and I fully part ways and stop talking, no we didnt we still talk, have had lunch together every now and then but nothing more has happened sadly, that night was the first night I've had in forever now it's been two weeks and my husband still doesnt touch me. I dress, in a tank top with a cardigan and some boy friend Jean's and some Van's braiding my hair before I leave

We decided at the diner we both love, so when I got there I instantly went in and settled in a booth looking over the menu, being tapped on the shoulder I look to see. Brendon..

"H-hi hello" I say shocked, he tugs my arm for me to stand so we can hug "what in the world"

"I'm meeting the guys here, what are you doing" he chuckles

"Meeting sabrina" I giggle "wow you look great brendon"

"You do too" he smiles, we talk before he gets another table, soon sabrina gets here and comes to the table

"Hey there!" She squeals, I stand up and hug her. I see that brendon is watching so I wave and smile at him, making sabrina look she waves too

"He looks good" I murmur, she nods.

"Let's ask him to join " she quips

"Hes waiting for the guys" I say, she shrugs

"So I'm dating Dan" she laughs, well our table is big enough for them, she waves him over before we sit down.

"Hey" he smiles, leaning over and hugging her

"Join us" she smiles, so he does sitting next to me I look away knowing my face is turning red. "How are you?"

"Eh, good been working on the new album" he says "sara is away with her family so I'm lonely"

Us three talk for a little bit, ordering drinks they others still not here yet so we just goofed around before we actually ordered anything to eat, suddenly having to pee I groan brendon and sabrina both look at me oddly

" I have to pee" I murmur, brendon moves and I make my way to the ladies room. As I'm washing my hands, brendon Comes in and locks the door and smiles

"What are you doing " I ask drying my hands on some paper towels, he grabs me and spins us around so I'm against the door

"Something I need to do" he sighs, planting his lips on mine in a needy way. I involuntary moan, his mouth taste sweet like strawberries and gum, with a hint of whiskey. His hands find my waist while my arms wrap around his neck pulling him closer. He bites my bottom lip and pulls away a little, smirking when he finally pulls away

"Jesus brendon" I breath heavily, "where the hell did that come from"

"That night, I think about it alot" he kisses my neck, making my shiver "we were mad in the morning but didn't want to admit we needed it again"

I gasp, as I feel his teeth graze my skin. Earning a chuckle from him, he kisses the area again. I've never wanted anyone more in my life from just a little action.

"Deep down we both knew we wanted it" I say, tugging slightly on his hair making him groan "we still dont fuck brendon"

"I fake enjoying it" he says, "I think about that night during"

"Mm, wish it was me" I bite my lip, giggling seductively "did you wish it was me, you were buried deep inside of."

"God you have no idea" he groans, biting my neck making me press myself against him "I wished it was you sounding so needy, and sexy moaning my name"

"God, you have no idea how muc-" I was cut off by Sabrina's voice

"Y/n" she says "they guys are here, are you okay?"

"I'll be out in a minute I'm sorry!" I say, turning red and rest my head on brendons shoulder we both quietly laugh. I wait till I walk out of the bathroom, brendon stays behind.

"Hey you!" Kenny half shouts, I hug them all "wheres Brendon?"

"He was on the phone when i walked out," i shrug and sit down. Not long after brendon comes, holding his jacket in front of himself, he takes his spot next to me. I feel my phone go off so I check it. It being a Dm from brendon, so I go look at it, only for it to be a picture of him. And not an innocent one, hes holding himself in his hand to show how hard he is. The tip flushed red and leaking precum already, I gasp and put my phone down, the others look at me.

"You okay?" Sabrina asks

"Y-yeah I'm fine" I laugh nervously, I see brendon biting his lip and before it even registers, someone grabs my phone, once I realize I snap towards them but my phone is unlocked and they see the photo

"Jesus!" Dallon mutters, they others look at him, brendon and I groan and slouch against each other making them all laugh, they all look at my phone before Fallon hands it back

"Take it neither of you are rather, pleased..." zack says, we look at each other, both of us wanting to make a move but we dont. "Earth to y/n and Brendon"

Just then the waitress comes, with food having seen us all a lot, they know our orders by hand. Brendon and I tear our eyes from each other to the food, both starving but not for the food. We slouch again, I'm the first to reach and grab some money, then so does brendon.

"Get some boxes theres our part" brendon rasps the throws his keys at one of the guys, the grabs me and pulls me to my car I hand him my keys so he can drive to my place.

The drive feels like it's taking forever, and I cant help it any more I've needed brendon longer than I thought I did. But before I knew it brendon pulled up to the house and pulled into the garage.

We instantly went in, and went after each other. He pulls my shirt off and throws it, spinning me around and slamming me against the wall I yelp, but quickly tug on his shirt and pull him down to kiss him. It turns into a heated rushed makeout, only pulling away so he can pull his shirt off then he goes to my pants and yanks them off. Leaving me in my matching bra and pantie set, red lace. He groans and grabs my waist, surely leaving finger marks on my skin, kissing my neck and bitting it I moan.

"You have to much clothes on" he growls, making me giggle. He kisses down my neck, chest and to my torso, making a mark to show he was there, he looks up at me as he pulls my panties off. He stands up and takes his pants off, his boxers then my bra leaving us completely naked to each other. Kissing my neck and bitting it making me gasp and grip his arms.

"Couch" I mutter, he swiftly picks me up and were on the couch and hes attacking my skin leaving his mark any place he can at the moment. Pulling his face back up to mine, I kiss him he takes that moment to slide into me, we both sigh into the kiss. As he slides back out, and back in I let my mouth hang open allowing soft moans to be pushed out of me. Kissing again, I turn my head and kisses my temple.

♡♡

I woke up, with brendon asleep head on my chest, and a blanket covering his lower half. I move slightly accidentally waking up brendon, he looks at me and sleepily smiles I giggle and kiss his nose

"Why do we move to my bed?" I whisper, he nods moving to put his boxers on then picks me up bridal style and Carries me to the room, laying me down then laying down next to me I smile at him

"This feels so much like home with you here" I say

"I like the way it feels too" he kisses me "like I've been missing something and you.."

His fingers trail down my face and kisses me again and smiles, pulling the covers over us as I cuddle up to him.

[chacharoni]

mid-season revaluation bellow the cut!

a bit of a warning its a lot more negative than my initial reactions also irrelevant but i ended up dropping Cardcaptor Sakura cause it wasnt my thing (its a great show and i do recommend to fans of the genre though)

also spoilers and some content warning on the parts with things i really hate, /rape and /pedophilia mentions)

things I really enjoy watching,

Pop Team Epic, very fresh and continues to stun with some of its skits (hellshake yano...), a couple of its later episodes were kinda boring cause there wasnt much difference between the voice acting takes to justify watching twice, but overall its really good and the amount of effort put into the animation still comes off as impressive and way above anything i ever expected of it

Kokkoku, a bit slow and not as overwhelming as it could be, but honestly a good watch so far, it has a decent story and consistent animation (but frankly most of the reason of me watching this is “i cant wait till geno studio moves on to Golden Kamuy” and seeing how they work hypes me even more, and ofc that fucking opening sequenceeee)

Sora Yori no Tooi Basho, very very good anime, highly recommend this show, its very uplifting and ambitious and sports a very well made cast of protagonists and side characters (i really love how mostly every character has conflicting character traits that somehow make complete sense), animation is consistently amazing, this show is everything it promised to be on the first episode and i love it

things i watch and make me disappointed at the waste of potential behind them

junji ito’s collection: sigh, i went into this expecting more than what was delivered, but thats mostly the fault of the animation it showcases and not the ideas behind it, it started kinda strong but some of the episodes since are really painful to watch and its not because of the horror :/

darling in the franxx: now i want to hold back comments on this show, but it did build up on the possibility of the most boring protag ive seen in a while actually dying and failed to delivered... so thats one more reason why i hate it

it overall gets worse every episode and the not-really incest but its definitely sold as incest romance subplot it has between kirito and suguha is making this even trashier than it set out to be, that aside the animation is great and theres like 2 likeable character on the side if you squint so its disappointing to see the effort go wasted

(i mean, if you deleted main boy and not-sister and removed zero 2s superiority complex, allowing her to interact with other characters -that arent kirito- the show would probably be amazing in spite of the mecha sex poses, it actually -has- that potential)

gonna put a new addition here but i’m caught up with OVELORD, now hmm... well this is a show that has a very good protagonist and premise but somehow doesnt quite deliver on its promises (or delivers too slowly to be enjoyable), not a lot has happened so far with the plot and we’re on the second season already, the protagonist is also the only likeable or remotely interesting character in the cast, which is a problem cause he took a bit of a backseat this season, some of the rest of the cast seems to vaguely have potential but its nowhere near the quality of the protagonist.

verdict: could have been a good show and has potential but the execution makes it boring

(content warnings from before apply below)

shit i wish i didnt have to watch but i simply have to continue watching and reaffirming they’re in fact shit to the bitter end

grancrest senki, this show is fucking trash in every way imaginable, it isnt even worth hatewatching (the problems with it were honestly hilarious at first, with peak “i cant believe someone seriously wrote this” being episode 8, but then came along ep 9 with a racist caricature coming full circle and practically a /rape scene out of the blue, so fuck this show)

beatless, only reason im watching this is, im not really sure where its heading and thats mysterious kinda?? but its also really boring and dumb as hell lmao

violet evergarden, this show went from slow and kinda awkward but overall cute story of a girl learning how integrate in society after living her entire life in the war and promised to be a good drama and explore themes like coping with the death of a loved one but instead we got /pedophilia apologism, character growth happening out of thin air after 7 episodes of really slow progress, “why did you tell her her nearly-a-father figure is dead, dont you understand a womans kokoro” as actual conflict, and a scene between a character that’s around his 30s (probably?? his age is unclear) and a kid definitely younger than 14 screenwritten as romantic

(im not even touching the episode with the fucking princess cause fucking hell what the fuck)

bad show, terrible art style that does not match what the protagonist should be depicted like at all and the incredibly good and over the top beautified animation just makes everything somehow add up and look even creepier

[bolontiku]

*not my gif*

Avengers A/U

Steve x reader

One shot

“Entombed”

Summary: title much? Haha hope y'all enjoy it!

******

You coughed, the sound trapped and bouncing right back to you. Blinking you struggled under the weight atop you.

You should be on the couch with Bucky watching Netflix right now, eating Ben and Jerry’s. He had broken his leg on the previous mission and Steve had grounded him till he was completely healed. Which never took long, just Steve being over concerned.

You took in a ragged breath, it was too dark to see around you, closing your eyes you tried not to panic, to not think of the fact that you were being crushed…

You couldnt breath. It was too small. Too dark. Your breath caught in your throat and you whimpered, letting out a louder noise as the weight atop you shifted. What had happened? You thought back to what you could remember.

Due to Bucky being grounded they had been short for this mission, you had agreed to come along. Steve, Nat, Clint, and Tony had dropped out the back of the quinjet you joining them. Leaving Bruce behind as back-up.

The small city was in war, two rivaling factions having finally upped the ante and brought in missiles and weaponry the locals couldnt hope to ever match. People were running everywhere, the city in destruction, panic spreading as people sought out safety in buildings.

“Y/N?” Steve’s gruff voice above you. He was the weight atop you?!

“Fuck, Steve…please get off me,” you whimpered still trying to push down the panic. It was building as you tried to remember exactly what happened. Panic bubbling up from your gut, filling your lungs like lead. Reaching up to push him off you found he wouldnt budge. “Steve?”

Your voice was so strangled and strained as he attempted to move. “If I could I would, I’m pinned. Theres too much weight on me to move…” He grunted and you could feel him lifting himself about an inch off of you.

Tentively and with horror, you reached up. Your hands running up his trim waist, along his broad chest, shoulders, reaching past him your breath picking up in speed as you felt it, concrete. He was indeed pinned, now you remembered….

You had been helping evacute, Steve deeming it too dangerous for you to be out there. He had sent you, Nat, and Clint to help lead the innocent away while he and Tony doubled back taking out the small groups that were left, calling Bruce and asking for assistance.

You had cleared your section, having just answered Nat over your comms when you saw him come around the corner. Giving him a thumbs up and a smile as he headed your way. When you noticed he was running faster towards you, you looked over your shoulder and saw the insurgent with a rocket launcher.

“Steve..” A small sob escaped you, your breathing becoming shallow as you scrapped your fingers along the wall above him.

“Y/N?” He coughed and struggled to see you. “Take a deep breath your fine.”

“No! I am not fine!” You wheezed trying to breathe, tears prickling your eyes. “I need to get out! Please? Oh god, I cant do this!” You gasped trying to push at the wall behind him. “Steve-I cant breathe!” You gasped desperately pushing at the wall, fingers scratching.

Steve could feel your chest rising and falling too quickly beneath his. He had made it in time to block you from the blast, but the building had collapsed as he wrapped himself around you. “Y/N? Doll, take a breath, your okay.” He struggled to plant his hands on either side of you. His legs were at an awkward angle tangled with yours, “listen Y/N, look at me?” He could barely make you out in the darkness, “Yeah, good..breath with me. Its fine, just like when we train.”

He berated himself, why hadnt he seen it before? Even during training you had had problems with small spaces. It was too late now as you sobbed beneathe him, but at least he could help as he had with Tony, thankful Pepper and Rhodey had educated him.

“Y/N, slow your breathing, now.” He demanded, his voice firm. “Put your hands on my chest and breathe with me.”

You swallowed a sob, your fingers finding their way back to his chest. Closing your eyes and struggling not to sob you hiccupped and sucked in air on a stutter.

Steve sighed as your breathing slowed. “There ya go, thats right doll, nice and steady.” He dropped his head to your shoulder, his back protested under the weight above him. “Y/N? I need to move, move your legs…” You listened to him, untangling your legs from his. “There we go,” it wasnt so uncomfortable now. “Never thought I’d get between your legs,” he muttered quietly.

You let out a small chuckle. “All you had to do was ask Steve.”

He was glad it was so dark, his cheeks burning, “well,” he offered. You had been the only one to treat him like Steve, not Captain America. Everyone else aside from your teammates kept him at arms length, or (the women mostly, he had had a few men), threw themselves at him. He cringed, he had had to remove himself from a few situations.

“Steve?”

“Hmm?” He hummed looking around his eyes being able to adjust quicker and allowing him to see. If you crawled up there might be space ahead, he frowned, he wasnt sure how quick the others could get to you two and he wasnt sure if he could hold this position very long.

“I’m scared,” those two words catching his attention, you were never scared.

He looked down at you in surprise. It was too dark and from how your eyes frantically moved he could tell you saw nothing in this darkness. “Calm down, I’m here with you,” he grunted as the rubble on him shifted down pushing him back down flush onto you. He groaned as your fingers brushed against his neck clutching desperately as you swallowed a scream. “Hey, hey, hey, shhh, its okay, I’m here.” He wanted to caress your face, assure you it would be alright.

You coughed as dust filtered down and tears streaked down the side of your face. “God! Steve..please?!” You werent sure what you were asking for though. His body pressed further into yours and you felt panic start to swell up in you again. “Nngh, I c-cant!” A whine left your lips as you clutched at him.

“Y/N, I cant do this if your not gonna help me doll,” he murmured, lips pressing into the side of your neck briefly.

You took in a shuddering breath, he needed you to stay calm. You couldnt distract him, still your fingers flew past him in an attempt to keep the rubble off as the concrete shifted yet again and you couldnt stifle the scream that tore from your lips.

Steve groaned as your scream pierced the darkness. Shaking his head he dipped down, covering your mouth with his. That distracted you. He felt your fingers cup his jaw and wondered why he had never done it before. Your lips were soft and pliant, yielding ever so sweetly under his. He slid his tongue across your lips, carefully; a grin spreading as you sighed and he tentively slipped his tongue past them. Both of you moaned, Steve ran his tongue along yours gently massaging, twisting slowly in tandem. Steve let out a sigh as he pulled away.

“We will get out of here,” He said dropping another kiss to your lips. The rubble above him shifted again, “Y/N, can you…can you reached your comm? Can you hear anything?”

You blinked, still in shock, but you reached up and pressed your earpiece, there was nothing but silence. “Its not working,“ you whispered.

“Its fine,” he groaned and shifted above you.

You gasped, he was keeping you from getting crushed and who knew how much weight he was holding up?! “Steve, I cant see. What do you need me to do?” you asked with a shaky voice.

He looked above your head again, “there seems to be a spot, a clearing above you, c-can you scoot up?” He watched as you shimmied up a few inches and he felt the weight of the rubble press him down, his face just below your bust. “Fuck…”

“Steve?!”

“I’m fine doll, keep going.”

“Not without you,” you growled.

He smirked, “alright…” It was difficult, moving up till he was face to face with you, the concrete crumbling behind him as he moved. But it wasnt as heavy, you had caught hold of his vest and pulled helping him along. It was tedious work, moving together like that, but it was worth it when you let out a small “oomff!” And dropped a few feet into a small clearing where the building was being held up by a beam. He groaned as you reached back for him blindly grabbing onto his suit and jerking him forwards.

Both of you collapsed into the space, Steve not even apologizing when he dropped his entire weight atop you. He would crawl off in a second, both of you cringing when the concrete collapsed where you two had been.

You felt his arms wrap around you tightly before he completely relaxed. “Steve?” He didnt answer, “please dont die,” you whimpered.

“Not dying, just exhausted.” He murmured into your neck.

You could sit up if need be, though you would have to slouch a bit. You fought the urge to weep, instead concentrating on the breaths he was taking matching yours to them, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He asked in the darkness shifting a little, his weight coming off you as he finally rolled to the side.

“If it weren’t for me,” you swallowed hard before his hand blindly smacked onto your face, moving to cover your mouth. “Ouch!” you proclaimed, even though it came out muffled.

He chuckled pulling his had away, “sorry, this isnt your fault, just…” He let out a huff of air, “dont panic.” It made you want to cry, you reached above you, hands crashing into concrete above. “Talk to me Y/N.”

“You know everything about me..” You dragged in air, fingers still trailing on the wall above. What were you searching for?

“I didnt know you were afraid of small spaces. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

You turned your head to the side where he lay, “I didnt want to seem weak.”

He reached out, his hand falling on your neck and moving up to cup your cheek, “that doesnt make you weak. Everyone has something they’re afraid of.”

“Oh? So what are you afraid of?” You asked sarcastically.

Steve’s thumb stroked over your cheek, “fine. I’m afraid of losing you.” He waited, the silence stretching between you two, “its not that I dont think you can take care of yourself, I just-” he licked his lips, throat dry at your silence, “I’ve been working up the guts to ask you out but it never seemed like the right time and-”

“Steve?” You cut in. He felt you move closer, “c-can you kiss me again?”

He moved over, his thumb moving down your jaw to your chin, up to your bottom lip. You felt a shiver run through you as his lips were suddenly on yours replacing his thumb. You reached up, hands digging into his hair clinging to him. One large hand slid down to your waist gripping you, pulling you towards him.

He pulled away, lips hovering just above yours, “better than I imagined.”

You were grateful for the dark, your cheeks heating up. “You imagined that?”

Steve pressed his lips to yours again, “so many times.”

“What else have you imagined?” You asked struggling to breathe for an entirely different reason now.

Steve smirked against your lips, “this,” his lips skimmed along your jaw trailing down your neck. You whimpered as he pressed hot kisses as he went, tongue flicking out, sucking lightly here and there.

You pulled him down arching into him. “S-Steve…” His hand slid from your waist, down your hip, reaching around and down to grip your ass. You gasped as he pulled your leg up, settling atop you between your legs.

Both of you froze as you heard a voice. It was muffled, but it came through again. “Y/N?! STEVE?!”

Steve pulled away from you, shouting out, “TONY?!”

“THEY’RE HERE!!” there was muffled shouting and you let out a relieved laugh. The rubble was shifting and you both blinked as light filtered into the darkness surrounding you.

Steve turned to look at you. “Y/N?”

Staring up at him you suddenly worried that he would change his mind. That this happened to only keep you distracted. “Steve?”

“Will you go on a date with me?” He asked laughing.

You matched his laugh. “YES!”

“What the hell are you two laughing about?!” Tony asked as a large chunk of building was cleared, Hulk roaring with the effort, and you two took in deep breaths of clear air. “Wait-did he finally ask you out?!”

Clint groaned, “Really?!”

****

A/N: let me know what you thought!

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[shadowwolf1303]

Bestfriend to Boyfriend (Lyon Vastia x Reader)

Title: Bestfriend to boyfriend

Warnings: None

You wake up to a knock at your door “(Y/N) Its Lyon and Grays with me”  

“But I just woke up” You shout out your window 

Both boys just laugh “Your not gonna leave us out here all day are ya?” Gray shouts up to you as the both smile at you 

“Ugh fine, I’ll let you in but just stay down stairs till I'm ready okay Gray Fullbuster” you say with a little half smile looking at Gray 

Lyon starts laughing at Gray “Yeah Graaaaay”

“Ugh I hate u both” you roll your eyes

“Ha! You love us really” Lyon says sticking his tongue out at u

“And you just proved my point” It’s your turn to laugh

“Can we come in now” Gray askes

“Oh yeah I forgot give me a minuet”

you open the door for the boys Lyon comes in first and hugs you “Not seen you in forever” he says still hugging you and you hug him back

“I know” you say when he lets go and walks into your main room

“Hey (Y/N) Gray smiles and hugs you”

“Hey” You say hugging him back

-Time skip-

“Took you long enough” Gray huffs when you walk back into get them 

“Oh I’m Sorry a girls gotta get ready” u smile to annoy him

“Oh By the way lyon fell asleep so um” he whispers trying not to wake him 

“Oh Lyon” you laugh quietly 

“What do you wanna do until he wakes up” You ask gray and he sits and thinks for a moment

“Oh how about first of all we go up to you bed room to let lyon sleep and I can tell you something lyon wont” you smiles at you

“Sure, Its not bad is it” You ask sounding a little worried

“Oh no no It’s actually a good thing”

If its good why wont he tell me you thought to yourself

“Well come on then” Grays says standing up

“Yeah lets go” you walk up stairs with Gray behind you

“Sooooo (Y/N) guess what it is”

“uhh I don't know” you say

“(Y/N) HE LIKES YOU”

“Hes is one of my best friends though” You smile

“No I mean LIKE LIKES you” He Laughs

“No wait really”

“Yeah (Y/N) I would never lie to you” 

“When he wakes up let say your going to the toilet or something and I’ll tell him I told you and I want to see if he will you do something”  he adds “That's only if you want to date him that is”

“Of course I kinda like him to” 

“No way”

“Yeah” You say blushing and smile at gray

“woooo I want you both to be a thing so bad and that means you, me, Juvia and Lyon can go on double dates” gray looks like a very happy puppy

“Awwww cute” You laugh and smile at gray

“Heyyyy!” he playfully hits you

“Love ya best friend” you smile

“Love ya too” he smiles back

“Lets so see if Lyon Is-” Your cut off when lyon walkes in

“Hey sorry I fell asleep” Lyon rubs the back of his neck

“Its fine” you laugh

“Lyon can I talk to you” Gray askes him 

“uhh sure what is it” Lyon looks worried

“Oh its nothing” He smiles at you but Lyon doesn't notice

“I'm going to the toilet anyway” you say walking out

“Okay Gray what is it” Lyon still looks worried

“I... Told (Y/N) You like” he smiles sheepishly

“YOU WHAT GRAY NO” He shouts and almost punches him you could hear him shouting and it scared you a little

“Hey hey hey Listen to me lyon” Gray tries to calm him down

“HOW CAN I CALM DOWN I HAVE NO CHANCE WITH HER” Still shouting you were almost crying at how angry and upset he got

“Lyon listen” Gray puts his hands up in as if he was surrendering 

“WHAT WHAT GRAY” Lyon shouts turning round and puts his hands on his head with his back to Gray

“She likes you back, bro” Gray smiles 

“Wha.. What” Lyon turns around in shock 

“Yeah your heard me she likes you back” gray is smiling so much his face hurts 

“I...I'm Gonna ask her to be my girlfriend I mean she knows now so theres no point waiting, right” He askes Gray

“Exactly” Grays still smiling “You know what that means if she says yes witch I'm sure she will”

“what” Lyon looks at Gray confused 

“DOUBLE DATES” He shouts jumping around and laughing

“sounds so fun I hope we can and jeez calm down” lyon laughs 

“Hey I'm back” You smile at both of them

“Perfect timing” Gray nudges Lyon

“Hey what was that for” Lyon askes

“Just talk to (Y/N) Lyon”  Gray smiles at you

“huh” You ask confused at little at first and Gray just smiles and you know what he means

“Well come find me when your done” He smiles and at smiles at the both of you Lyon just growls at him

“So um well I know Gray already told but yes I Like you (Y/N) A lot” he looks at the floor so you cant see him blush

“Yeah he did” Lyon took hold of your hand then looked into your eyes 

“So (Y/N) will you be my girlfriend” he Looks so nervous

“Of course a will Lyon” You smile at him 

“I..I don't know what to say I'm so happy” he grips you hand tighter like he never wanted to let go

“You Know your so cute when your sleeping” You laugh at him and kiss his cheek and he blushes even more and hes just smiling at you you think he looks adorable 

“I..uh” Lyon looks at the floor again and you lift his head up with your free hand and kiss him you feel him smiling when you kiss him

“wow” He laughs I wanted that to happen for so long 

“Me too” you smile still holding his hand you both go to find Gray whos on the phone to Juvia 

“Gray”  Lyon says to get his attention 

“What I tell ya she would say yes” He walkes over and hugs the both of you “I'm so happy right now” 

“Awww gray” You and lyon hug him your spare hands that aren't holding the others 

“I'm happy for you both”  You all hear Juvia from Grays phone

“Thank you Juvia” You and lyon say at the exact same time making everyone laugh 

“Goals” Says Juvia when everyone has finished laughing   

“Juvia why don't you come over” you say and look at gray to make sure its okay and he nods

“I would love to” 

“Woo” You laugh “See you in a bit”

“yeah” Juvia says bye to you all and Gray and makes her way over

-Time Skip-

You all hear a knock at the door 

“JUVIA” you shout running to the door

“and this is why we love you (Y/N)” Lyon says walking next to Gray to the door you open the door 

“Juvia Hey” You say pulling her into a hug

she laughs “Hey (Y/N) you miss me” She askes playfully

“Yup defos” you smile pulling away and let her in

“Hey lyon” she gives him a small hug

“Hello my love” he gives Gray a kiss and holds his hand just as Lyon takes yours again 

“(Y/N) and Lyon huh” he smiles at Gray “Gray told me about he told You Lyon likes you and he freeked out”

“shut up” Lyon mumbles blushing and looking at the floor

“Adorable” You lift his head up and smile at him as Gray and Juvia just smile at you both

“You two are made to be together” Juvia says hugging into Gray

“Thanks same goes for you both like seriously” Lyon smiles and the both of them then kisses you cheek

“Lets order food and watch a movie together since its getting dark”

“Sounds good” Gray says while he gets his phone and you all order pizza and chips since Lyon wanted them 

“Lyon come with me to get blankets” you grab his hand and drag him with you

“I would come with anyway” he laughs 

“Aw cute” you both hear from the other room

“Gray shut it” Lyon says back and you laugh. You get your two biggest blankets one for you and lyon and the other for Gray and Juvia 

“Kiss” Lyon says tilting his head to the side to show he was asking you for one 

“sure ya dummy” You both laugh then he kisses you 

“This will be the best night every” he says kissing your cheek again 

“Yeah” you smile and you both head back down to find Gray and Juvia 

“How about we go on a double date tomorrow” Gray suggests to you all Juvia nods and smiles

“Yeah” you and lyon say at the same time excitedly 

“Again you two” Gray laughs 

“why don't you all stay here tonight I have a spare room for you and Juvia and then in the morning we can go buy outfits for the date me and Juvia can go together and you boys can” you say trying not to jump cause your so excited

“Sounds fun” Juvia says and my make up is in the car so I can wear it tomorrow” she stands up “I’ll go get it” Juvia goes out to her car 

“What will I wear tonight to bed” Lyon askes you 

“I'm sure you both have spare cloths in here I mean its you and Gray” you laugh

“Good point” Lyon laughs

“What about Juvia″ Gray askes 

“I'm sure I have something” you smile. Juvia comes in with her make up

“You can put in my room” you jump up and down excitedly “We can do our make up together and even do matching make up” 

“Yeah I'm looking forward to that” Juvia smiles and skips up the stairs both boys laugh

“What you both laughing at” you glare at them both one at a time

“You both duh” Gray laughs 

“I hate you Gray” You laugh

Gray laughs “No you don't”

Lyon is laughing so much hes almost in tears

“Lyon Jeez” you say and you and Gray laugh at him 

“Sorry couldn't help it” He smiles you. You all hear the door go

“I’ll Get it” Juvia shouts down 

“Thanks Juvia” you Shout back “Okay Lyon, Gray Ill get bottoms for you and then Ill go with Juvia and you guys can sort out the food”

“Okay, sure” Gray says and gets the food from Juvia 

“Come on Juvia” you walk over to her 

“yeah” she smiles. Up stairs you pick out shorts and a T-shirt for Juvia and your self and you get joggers for the boys 

“Juvia black and dark blue or white and light blue for Grey” You ask holding up both pairs 

“Black and dark blue suites him better” she smiles and takes them and you both to find you boyfriends once you both change

“Lyon” you get his attention “here” 

“thanks” he kisses you cheek and goes to change and Gray dose the same you get the food and put it on the table infrot of the couch that you four are gonna sit the boys come back once they are changed and they sit next to their girlfriend and pull the blankets up both you and Juvia cuddle into your boyfriends and you start the movie

“(Y/N)” He looks at you

“Yeah” you say back 

“Want a chip” he askes 

“Sure” you smile and he feeds you one and kisses you 

“Yum you laugh” and cuddle into him more

-End of the movie-

“(Y/N)” Lyon whispers 

“Shes asleep aw how cute” Juvia whispers 

“I know she looks so cute” Lyon says then kisses your head “You both going to the spare bedroom” Lyon whispers to Gray and Juvia and they both nod

“I’ll take (Y/N) up to bed” he stands up and carries you up stairs and you start to wake up

“ Lyon” you say really sleepy voice

“Shhh Just go back to sleep okay” he whispers 

“Okay” you cuddle into his chest and go back to sleep Lyon puts you down on the bed and moves in next to you and you move and give him a bear hug and fall asleep again

Shes so cute whens she asleep he thought to himself then he falls asleep

-Next morning-

“Morning Lyon” You kiss his head

“Morning (Y/N)” he says his sleepy voice

“I love you sleepy voice” You smile

“Thanks”  he laughs “And I love yours”

“Huh”

“Last night  remember” he takes your hand from under the covers”

“Aw yeah, I remember” you smile you both just lay there for a while it was nice but You went and got Juvia and you both got ready to go shopping they decided to do matching make up a light pink lipstick and gold and white eye shadow they loved it

“Hey Lyon, Gray were ready to go” 

“Were coming” Lyon shouts back 

“I’ll drive” Juvia says to you and shouts to the boys

“Hey, (Y/|N)” Lyon kisses you cheek “You look really pretty” he smiles you 

“Thank you” You blush and look at the floor 

“Lyon come to the car with me” Juvia askes him

“Sure (Y/N) can you wait for Gray” Lyon askes you

“Yeah” you smile

-At the car-

“Lyon could you text me the colours of your outfit and I’ll Try get (Y/N) pick a dress those colours” she smiles 

“yeah I’ll do that we’ll be so cute” Lyon laughs 

“You got that right” Juvia joins laughing. you and gray come out of the house 

“Ready guys” Gray says as he sits in the front seat “Thought you guys would want to sit together”

“Yeah, thanks Gray” Lyon smiled at Gray you all get into the car you all just sit and talk about stuff then Lyon takes your hand 

“I love you (Y/N)” he says and brings your hand up to kiss it

“I love you too” you smile and keep a hold of his hand and you both stay like that till you get into the shopping centre 

“See you boys later” Juvia grabs your hand and drags you to the nearest dress shop after a while Juvia gets a text 

<I’ve got a white shirt blue jeans and a pale blue tie cant wait to see what you pick out for (Y/N) and btw Grays loves when you wear red :)”

<Thanks Lyon, I’ll get to work straight away and good cause I found a nice red dress>

“(Y/N) I’ve found a short red dress Its your turn and I have just the thing” Juvia smiles at u and shows you a stunning dress short and white with pale blue up the sides at the top and a pale blue belt

“Juvia I love it” You hug her 

“lets go pay for them”

-Back at your house and later that night-

“Time to get ready” Juvia tells you

“Uh You have two hours” Lyon says laughing

“yeah and we need to do our make up hair get on our dresses” you smile a Lyon 

“We know don't we Gray” Lyon says to and then askes Gray

“yup” was all he said. You and Juvia redo you make up but change you lipstick and eye shadow you have really pale pink alomost white lipstick and white and blue eye shadow and juvia has red liptick and silver and grey eye shadow you both put your dresses on to go find the boys 

“Lyon, Gray close your eyes” Juvia says from the other room they both nod and close their eyes you and Juvia walk in to the other room and stand infront of your boyfriends “Open your eyes Juvia says 

“uh Umm... Wow you look amazing (Y/N)” Lyon kisses you 

“Thank you” You blush as he hugs you 

“Juvia You look pretty as well” Lyon smiles at her

“Thanks Lyon” She smiles back 

“Really pretty bestfriend” Grays says and smiles at you 

“Thanks you look good yourself” you smile

“Wooo lets go” You run out to the car

-Resturant-

you all went to sit at your table and orderd your food

“this is gonna be the best night ever” Gray says to everyone

“I know I love all you guys” you smile Lyon grabs your hand from under the table 

“And we all love you” tightens his grip on your hand You all talk about old times all the fights everything you guys went through then you food arrived

-After food-

“(Y/N) me and Gray will drop you home” Juvia walks over to you and Lyon “Lyon are you going home”

“Uh..” Lyon looks at you

“You can stay at mine tonight” you walk over and grab his hand 

“Sure” he smiles and looks at your hands that are held together 

“Okay then” Juvia smiles you all get in the car you and Lyon in the back the other two in the front seats

*Yawn*”Lyon I'm tired” you say and lay your head on his shoulder when you get back to your house Lyon has to carry you in and you wake up just enough to change then you straight back to sleep cuddling into your Lyon

-That night-

You jump up really fast heart racing shaking crying you had a nightmare the people that mean the most to you were killed right infront of you eyes Lyon, Gray and Juvia 

“(Y/N) hey hey hey whats wrong” Lyon brings you into a tight hug and holds you until you stop crying he then kisses your head “nightmare” he askes still holding you. You lean back a little to answer him

“Yeah” voice still shaky from crying

“Want to talk about it” He says in a really calm sweet way

“Okay, I seen you, Gray and Juvia being killed right infront of my eyes” you start crying again

“Hey sh sh sh your okay I'm here” he kisses your head again and you soon stop crying “I have a present for you, its really cold though”

“What is it” You ask Lyon moves away a little

“Ice-Make Heart, here you go” he smiles 

“Aww Lyon that's so cute” You kiss him with the heart in your hand “its cold though” you both laugh you put the ice on your nightstand

“Goodnight (Y/N) I love you” Lyon lies down and you cuddle into him again

“I Love you too” You whisper

[sadiiomane10]

HEY GUYS, so this has been in my drafts since august cus i reached 1000 followers but i never posted it cus im an idiot but ANYWAY  i appreciate y’all sm  thanks to everyone that follows me and puts up with this weirdass blog and  thanks for all the replies and to the anons i love u guys too. thanks to the peeps whove been here since day one and the people still following me i give u guys credit, im the worst, and to the all the people who listen to me and read my text posts and like my stuff, i see you all and appreciate every single one of you, u guys are amazing and i wish u all have good things in life, ily

Extra special mention to these guys

@ben-woodburnMY LIL SIS, i love you so much, i love you the most, im glad i got to know you, and u literally make me laugh every single time i talk to you, ur the greatest friend i made and thanks for dealing with my weird ass, i cant wait till i can fly over to new york and give u the biggest hug ever,  ur basically my soulmate, i wouldn’t know what to do without you, i love you so much and we should totes get matching jersey’s or something, plus we still need to go to that bayern game, its gonna be so lit,

@thecr7universe; MY BIG SIS, thank you so much for listening to me all the time and helping with so many things, ur amazing, and thanks for all the advice and calming my nerves when i dont know what the fuck im doing, i love you so much, we may be the biggest football rivals but ur my family and im glad i got to talk to you, i couldn’t ask for a better big sis, u make me smile everytime and i wanna give u the biggest hug. i love you alot

@rizesahmed;MY QUEEN, literally what would i do without u, i would be hella bored,we’re like the most in-sync people ever and its super cool,  u make me laugh and thanks for listening to my rambles even when they dont make sense, thanks for putting up me cus i know im weird, ur a literal queen and the best thing ever, and thanks for caring, i love you so much

@rowan-fcb ur always here for me no matter what and i dont really kno how to say thank you, but i appreciate u sm, ur always there for me and i love u for that, it means alot, im always here if need me, ily, <333

@anxietyfc dont get super excited ok, this doesnt mean i love you or anything, just thought i’d be a lil bit nice cus its the new year so just wanna say that ur my fave #bantz-bro and that like i love you (just a little bit)   what who said that :DD

@fabiantasticschaer @desciglio2 @swanvika @mesut-and-tie@neymessigriziman @sampers and @basthiago @diesama5; my wonderful group chat peeps i love u guys alot, so much love

i can literally say so many nice things about every single one of you, but this will turn into a love letter and i’m afraid i dont have that much time, just know i love you all.

@32kimmich @23emrecan @4footballluv 

@amitlfc @atletipool @aaronramslay @alahming @alpaca-fanatic@apfelschuerrle @alexchambos@agoldenskyy @abcde-fc@aussieatanfield @adnaismynameandbarcaismylove @alesiaaa@arsenalsfc @aussenrist15 @allesmulleroderwas @amaniques @amantedelcalcio @amandinehenry @adamnlallana @alistans @a-twistinmynightmare @allianz-arena @agger-daniel @alexissanchezbaebah @aftgomes21 @asensihoe @amignonlet @alwayssunnymarcelo @alexpenkala @albiooooon@atletihoes

@bbyflippinho @bavarian-pretzel @bizougrizou @boomxhakalaka @barcafannnn @bermat99 @blaszczykowskikuba @bayurn @baefinha @bavarianboyz @bayer-mund @beyourownanchorsweetie@brocelona@bayerngermanyforthewin@barcamos  @bharatanatyamandballet @balesmanbun @balesbae @blaugr4na@blaugrana-heart @baellerins @blaugranachambo @byern-munich @b-ayern @baeyernmunichboys

@californiacule  @capiaguero @celine-xox @captainjhendo @casillasing @chasing-neymessi @cheekyfootballfan @chloelfcx @clumsy-kath @classyemre @ccampnou@colie-bolie @cuteinhos @cupid-heart-bae @crazy-for-kloppo@calchambaes @closetoju @crystalpress @coutinho-ho-ho

@dans-revenge @daisy-cutting @dayennealcantara  @dfb-ayern  @deleallie @diasporational @du-bist-jetzt-mein @draxlerr  @diemannschaftofficial @dimitriipayet @durmerella @deleallis @deledier @diegoalvesisgod @dvidalaba @damnrollins @darlincule

@euro2016changedme @edmplurfect @eventhesmallestperson

@fragilelilbunny @fcrafinha @flanialves @football-is-forever @foreverhector@fearlesskiki @foodball @footballerimaginess @federersroger @fcbayernmess @fatherpique @fcbootylona @fabulously-football @firminhoes @fuckin-fabul0us @funkkidkatholic

@gabiknowsbest @gauchom03  @glbb0@grizismann  @gerlxnso @gerlonso @gerrardz @gerardpque @gingystuff @gayfinha-@grizismann @griezmann-grizou @greizmannn @gignaaac @golden-skies-ahead@ggerrardd @griezmwnn @gayern-munchen @grantixhaka @goal-mine  @garethsvoice

@hotdamnkimmich@happycrowley @harita-lfc @holdingchambers @hendobadger @hoeguain 

@incredybala @immersudkurve @if-anyone-can-emre-can@imforgettingwhy

@joherrkimmich @joelmatips @josh-kimkim- @jones-lfc-feyenoord @jamesmilnrs @jordanshenderson @jhendersex @jacksannie@jordanhendoson @james-milner

@kevin-ohara @kierantierney @kimmearth @kimister-10 @keynavas @klopporules@katrinannis @kristoffernordfeldt @kroosmas@kloppostyles @klopposkop @kloppend @kloppos-eyes @kloppohugs @kingpique@kimmichoursaviour

@locablaugrana  @liverpoolfc-thereds  @littleliverbird  @leocuccittini  @luchoviettoo @leobittencourt@lucasmouras @luciafernandezgarcia93 @lesbleusthroughandthrough @lewandallons-yt@lesleydasilvasantos@liverpoolstolemyheart@liebandowski @lewangoalski @lewassdowski @lowkeykramer @luchoviettoo @lucasleiva @littlemagician-10 @little-wise-acre  @lewysansatan@lordneuer @lukaszpiszcat @leoniesmaier @lukaszpizczk @lenastronaut

@meinklopp @matsjxlianhummels @matuidis @matshummelsisaslytherin @miasanmia-lfc @mueller-cornerr @my-fireplace-is-not-working @miasangianluca @mademoiselle-giroud-de-pfeffel@meowsane @mypinkisfloyding @maxmeyerwife @mxx-meyers@mterstegen1 @markclattenburg @mgoetzinho @marcosalonsos @merryneuer @msnuelneuer @mullerous  @mesozill @missliverpoolfc @mrtslv @mrs-fridrick@mcaelgrdonclfford@miasanmadridista @mehootozil  @mignoleeet @mignon-let @manuwallneuer @meri-zindagi-hai-tu @moon-for-start @myliverpoolworld @mycaptain8myhero @marcoasensioss @marcokarius

@neuersnutella @neuxr @narcissus-princess @neuerh @nathanielclynes @neuerstolemynutella @nyehhhhhhhhh @neymessifc @neyessibff

@oliviergir0ud @ohmygrizi @oxladechamberlains @oh-augustuswaters @ourlordandsaviourlahm @o-magico10

@photo-cell @poetryinmotionlfc @princeantoinegriezmann @pogbala @prince-dybala @princeofanfield @princephilipplahm @possesivepreath

@ryanreavo @ramsey-vettel @robholding @rubenyanez@rafanha@rafaeloangelo @rr4mbo @raflnhaa @ramsey-ruined-me @rafaisbae @redordead1892  @rodriguiz @rafinhoehoho@rafaisbae@rafinha-papi @rafinhaswifey @redofthewestcountry

@sterndesuedens @super-lollol @saintneuer @sophowenlfc @sykeslauren @swaggyreus @sleptonthemoon @stevie-g-ynwa @s0miserem @stevengerrard @sara-bastian @saidthebutterfly​ @smolantos​ @stevie-pearrard​ @sassybartra​ @shootballx​ @shrlokholmes​ @simplycout​  @silvasiv​  @slayfinha​ 

@theboywithabs @thequestionjerk​ @thomassholemuller​ @teamcoutinho @t-ruu-st @thesecretdetectivecollection​  @thesuperlambanana​ @thiagos2lva​@thiagoseelva​ @tattoos-are-my-weakness​ @true-obsidian​@treblemaestro​ @teamcoutinho​ @thomaslewandowski @ter-stegen-marc @touch-me-without-using-your-hand @thats-mrs-emre-can @tw3nntystitches @tranquilho @thefreshprinceofcamelot

@urbanklopp @v-l-s-l-o-n @vulpricks

@weynwa96me @whoa-stevie  @withhopeinourheart@xhakab00m@youmeafterthegame @ynwagrizi @zaynsbus1tattoo

im so sorry if i missed anyone, thanks for following me and putting up with me, lots of love, Zeena