#but we all know at this point that bro himself had some connection to le thru lil cal so he has some direct connection wit LE anyways

[spootsaline]

i dont have many hs2 thoughts because i willingly choose to ignore it, but the fully realized dirk essentially being a caliborn proxy is kind of sad

[ayellowcurtain]

Elu having actual healthy communication skills and talking about Elliot needing space or how good it is for each of them to have their "own thing". Maybe even Lucas going on a little vacation with le gang, sans Eliott.

would you write about the boys looking after eliott in a depressive episode now that they know?

Now that they’ve talked about their issues, Eliott is second guessing himself, wondering if he felt like he needed space for the right reasons. Coming home to an empty house doesn’t feel right. Lucas is gone, even if just for a couple of weeks. Deep down, Eliott knows this isn’t what Lucas wanted.

He tried to look away, to avoid acknowledging that this decision was more his than Lucas’, it wasn’t what Lucas wanted and maybe it wasn’t what he wanted either. He tried to ignore the look, but he knows Lucas looked at him for too long after their conversation.

“I’m going away with the boys for a few weeks after we’re done with our exams...” he said as his result of their long conversation. And he waited, but Eliott didn’t say a thing because he thought this is what they both needed: space away from each other. Lucas was clearly hurt, way too quiet to his normal, but Eliott was selfish, stupid and he ignored Lucas’ oversensitivity yet again.

When the day came, Eliott couldn’t help but check just one time.

“Are you sure we’re okay?” He held Lucas’ face with both his hands as gently as he could and Lucas nodded his head, but his hands came to wipe some tears away before they could escape his eyes.

“You need space and time and I guess I need to figure some stuff out too.” Eliott wanted to explain that he didn’t exactly needed time or space away from Lucas, but he didn’t know if that would be another lie or not so he watched as Lucas took his hands away from his face and grabbed his suitcase instead, kissing Eliott on the cheek before leaving their house.

And it’s been ten days since and Eliott is still overthinking their last few days together, searching for any clues he might have overlooked.

They were fighthing a lot lately, but obviously, thing got really difficult after his film. Eliott tried to explain over and over again, they argued so much about it he even caught himself going back to that night, trying to see if Lucas was right when accusing him of cheating, lying, being a selfish fucking asshole. Eliott couldn’t believe he didn’t see the signs that kissing someone else for a movie was actually not ok with Lucas. After a week of waiting for Lucas to calm down, they finally sat down on the couch and had the last conversation.

“I love you, Lucas. And I’m sorry I didn’t see that you weren’t okay with not being a part of the movie, you should have told me. I thought you were too busy with your exams. The role was for you and-”

“It wasn’t. If it was mine, Lola wouldn’t be perfect for it.” Eliott took a deep breath in, instantly remembering his words at work. One thing that he clearly missinterpretated.

“It was made for you, yes. You reminded me of your exams and I asked you if I could offer it to someone else. I couldn’t do it on my own.”

“Do you think Yann, Arthur, Basille, you think they’re my friends that you hang out with or that they’re our friends?”

“They’re our friends, but you’re a lot closer to them.”

“You should tell them that then, because they think you’re family too and not just colleagues. And Alexia and Sofiane and Idriss. You don’t reach out to ask for their help because you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, because I’m not close to them anymore, can’t you see?” Eliott stopped himself, he was getting angry at all those accusations and Lucas didn’t say a thing either, waiting for Eliott to speak his mind. Lucas could tell his brain was overworking.

“You act like you’re fine on your own, that you need to be alone sometimes and yet, you go around constantly looking for connections. I just don’t get it.” Lucas started again, a lot calmer, but also hurt and Eliott didn’t know what to say to that.

“I wasn’t planning on being friends with Lola, but I saw she was struggling and I couldn’t help but try to help her.” Lucas accusing eyes quickly came up, looking at Eliott.

“You kissed her.”

“She kissed me. For a movie and she was freaking out again, trying to make her girlfriend jealous.” Eliott sighed, thinking about his own shock and about Maya’s face while helping them film.

“I don’t care, don’t wanna hear it, if possible.” Eliott had to really look at Lucas, how hurt he was and Eliott didn’t get why.

He grabs his phone and throws himself at the couch they were sitting when they talked, it felt like a break up, but it wasn’t, somehow. Even their conversation through their cellphones feels cold, too formal. Eliott clicks on Lucas’ photo, zooming in with his fingers, Lucas is making a face, like always and Eliott smiles to himself, letting go of the picture and clicking on their conversation, quickly typing his feelings out.

to Lucas: I miss you. I’m sorry for everything.

Lucas is not one to answer right away and it just got worst this time, but the bubbles appear and Eliott waits excitedly.

to Eliott: I miss you too.

Are you ok?

to Lucas: Missing you too much. Other than that, I’m okay. You? How is the trip? The boys?

to Eliott: It’s been good, but I guess Baz is missing Daphné too much and maybe Arthur realized he still likes Alexia. So I guess it’s kinda depressing.

And you?

to Lucas: Me what?

Eliott sits up, putting both feet back on the ground, the soft, vintage carpet keeeping him present.

to Lucas: Do you still like me?

to Eliott: Eliott

Yes.

to Lucas: I’m sorry for everything, Lucas. I really am.

to Eliott: How are you really feeling? You’re alone, having the time and space to do whatever as you’re pleased

to Lucas: Feeling like I can’t do anything if I don’t have someone to come home to and share about how my day went. There’s no point, is there?

to Eliott: I don’t know...

to Lucas: Please talk to me

I hate this.

This fucking cold conversation like we haven’t been together for over a year, like we don’t love each other.

to Eliott: We both agreed we needed time apart

to Lucas: But did you really? Need time away from me?

to Eliott: No, but you did and what you want matters to me and maybe you were seeing something I wasn’t.

to Lucas: Was I?

to Eliott: Why are you suddenly filling me with these questions, Eliott?

to Lucas: Because I feel like I didn’t hear you for some time and now i want to know everything. I’m not afraid.

-

“This is different...” Idriss walks around slowly, looking around the kitchen for the first time, sitting on the chair, pulling it closer to the small table around them, looking at Eliott and then at Sofiane. They have a whole conversation through their eyes and Eliott can’t understand them anymore.

“Yeah...” Sofiane exhales his laughter and Eliott feels guilty. Apparently, they were both waiting for him to contact them like Lucas suggested they were.

“I’m sorry. For not calling before. I didn’t know it was expected.” Eliott messes his hair up and rest against the back of his chair, crossing his arms against his chair. Even though he doesn’t know how to act or what to say, he feels at ease being around his two old best friends.

“We were friends, Eliott. There’s no expecting or not, mec. We just thought that things were finally good between us, that we would go back to hanging out, but it’s okay. Are you okay?” Sofiane exchanges some looks with Idriss as he talks and Eliott bites the inside of his cheek.

“Even if you don’t talk, bro, Imane told him that Lucas is not doing well and Sofiane told me.” Idriss says easily and Sofiane sighs as loud as one can sigh, shaking his head. Idriss looks at him and opens his arms. “What? She tells you everything and you tell me everything, it’s obvious!”

Sofiane doesn’t explain to Idriss, just looks back at Eliott.

“How are you? Honestly.”

He always had this way of talking to you, with the kindest, most understanding voice and Eliott can’t believe how Sofiane can always keep himself like this. He looks at Sofiane for another moment, trying to thinking on how to explain how much his mood depends on rather Lucas is phisically around him or not.

“I fucked up, like I always do. That didn’t change.”

Idriss laughs and Eliott smiles and Sofiane rolls his eyes. This is also still the same. How Sofiane doesn’t think is that funny when Eliott thinks so little of himself and how Idriss thinks it’s funny, doesn’t take his words that seriously.

“Imane didn’t tell me what happened...” Sofiane looks at Idriss as he emphasises his words and Idriss rolls his eyes in return and nods his head, clearly not buying it, “she just told me that he’s not really happy right now. But I’m sure he loves you, Eliott. I saw you two together a couple of times and even from afar, I could tell he was happy and you were happy.”

Eliott inhales sharply, raising his eyebrows. They were happy or at least Eliott thought they were, but Lucas was hiding parts of himself and Eliott didn’t see it. He didn’t see how unhappy and uncomfortable Lucas was getting. He’ll never believe his fucked up unconscious looked away when all Lucas wanted was for Eliott to see him and his insecurities. Eliott loves Lucas. And he loves that they can find comfort in each other, to be themselves fully, all the time. Eliott took that away from them without realizing.

“Stop...” He looks up and Idriss sighs, talking seriously now. “Stop beating yourself over it. You’re overthinking it and we call smell it from here. If there’s trouble in paradise, my friend, you just have to fix it. To talk to him and wait that time will heal this stupid drama, whatever it is.”

Eliott frowns, it does sound like Idriss knows more than he’s telling, but Eliott doesn’t dare asking either. If what happened between him and Lucas and Lola reached him, Eliott doesn’t want to know, doesn’t want to know what Sofiane thinks of him being a cheater. He’s sure Idriss would find any excuse to tell Eliott how it wasn’t that big of a deal.

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me right now.”

“He loves you, Eliott. Stop being dramatic. If it was over, then you two would have broken up about it, but you’re still here and I’m assuming he’s just travelng with his friends.” Sofiane guesses and Eliott nods. Lucas will - supposedly -come back home, to him, in a couple of days.

“You don’t know Lucas. He can be really stubborn when he wants.”

Sofiane nods his head, back to being understanding and calm again.

“But I’m sure he loves you. Because, like you said, he’s stubborn, I heard a thing or two about it from Imane too. So if he had made up his mind, I’m sure you would know if this was a break up.”

Eliott looks up, covering his face with both hands, counting the days, the seconds until Lucas is home.

“Do you have beer, mec? I feel like this is going to be a long conversation and I’m thirsty.” Idriss gets up, streching himself and Eliott points to the fridge.

“There might be some, but I’m not sure.” Idriss goes to the fridge, searching for it and Eliott looks at Sofiane and his comforting smile, putting his hand on Eliott’s shoulder.

“You guys are cute together and he loves you, I’m sure. Everything is going to work out.”

Eliott smiles as a thank you and grabs his phone, texting Lucas. 

to Lucas: I love you. I miss you, can’t wait for you to be home <3 I love you 

[zhuhongs]

Here’s my long ass review of TGCF that literally no one asked for it i have opinions and I have no one to tell them too so i must write them out and post them. (also part of this is abt the mdzs novel bc i can’t not compare them and I have a lot of thoughts abt that too)

This is very very long so it’s going under a read more. Spoilers ahead!!

Okay so first off this book was a fucking behemoth i can’t believe i read all of that (minus the extras) in under a week.. what the fuck. I definetly got reading fatigue halfway thru book 3.

I’m gonna separate my thoughts into sections bc i  have a few points that don’t all relate

firstly, overall writing and organization:

I said it earlier but tgcf is a lot more structurally sound than mdzs imo. My biggest criticism of the MDZS novel (minus the bad sex scenes, homophobia, and general I hate mxtxness of it) was the way the flashbacks were presented. 

Like OH MY GOD they were presented so badly. I hated that the flashback was told intermittently and only when one of the characters invoked the past. For example, when WWX meets Jiang Cheng and a second time, Jin Ling distracts JC to release “Mo Xuanyu” bc he saved his life in the Nie Ancestral hall earlier. WWX then proceeds to be the self sacrificing dude he is and take away Jin Ling’s curse and put it on himself. When he escapes and returns to LWJ, LWJ offers to carry him.

 If you watched CQL, you know exactly what LWJ is referring to when he says smth to the effect of “You once offered to carry me too, remember.” HOWEVER in the novel you don’t know what he’s talking about. This is because the flashback wasn’t been revealed to you yet. The next chapter goes to tell the flashback. I think that this takes away all of the emotional depth away from the scene. But in CQL, having the flashback already be known, you make the connection on your own and are like “awww wangji remembers that.. even 16 years later.“ Its a lot sweeter bc you know what the two have gone thru. At this point in the MDZS novel its barely the 30th chapter or so and you have no real idea what wangxian have been thru together or what reasons wangji has for loving wwx. You just think, well obviously they like each other bc this is a danmei novel and they are the two leads, ofc they have to like each other. But in cql, you learn through watching them that they’re in love. It’s not just like”well they have to be!! its a bl!!”

Okay that was a rlly long side tangent but it makes me so angry. So what did any of that have to do with TGCF?? well tgcf doesn’t have this issue. In fact, i believe that it gains a lot from having the flashback withheld from the reader. 

I really liked how the flashbacks were contained to books 2 and 4 respectively because it adds a layer of mystery. Hua Cheng is a very secretive man so it makes sense for us to not know everything about him upfront. The way that the author teases and hints little things at you make you want to know more, making it all the more satisfying when the truth is revealed. Because in a way you Know that Hua Cheng meets Xie Lian before and you know that he’s the child XL saved during the God Pleasing Ceremony but you don’t know all the details. Like obviously since Hua Cheng is a ghost you know that he’s died and it was likely for Xie Lian or Xian le’s sake but you probably never expected that he actually died twice. Once on the battle field and second when he took the human face disease. I think the difference between these flashbacks and the flashbacks in MDZS result from the length. In TGCF you get two long concise flashbacks that make sense to be placed where they are. Book 2 because you already have a feel and hint at what the characters have been through and book 4 because the White No Face appears again so then you learn how he and Xie Lian met before. It wouldn’t make sense to place book 2 any earlier bc there is no emotional impact. And it doesn’t make sense to place book 4 earlier because you don’t know what the white no face’s deal is so it’d be confusing. In MDZS, you get numerous short flashbacks happening alongside the main story and it makes it hard to piece together the timeline in a way that feels satisfying. Ik a lot of ppl grill cql for having a confusing intro episode and having a rlly long flashback but its much better than the mdzs novel. However the mdzs donghua handles the flashback in the most concise way imo.

Overall i think the way the story is structured is very good and is a step up from mdzs. Also the horror aspects of tgcf are rlly enjoyable and honestly i think mxtx should just write short horror stories at this point. like enough long ass novels chock full of fetishization. just write some fun horror with no romance and call it a day.. pls

Side Characters:

okay so straight up, i think the side characters arent used as well as they were in mdzs bc mxtx wanted to focus on hualian and didn’t want to give the side characters as much focus. This is a weaker point of the novel.

I’ll get into it more below but i think hua cheng was done dirty as a character by having him rlly only care abt xie lian. Since he doesn;t have any real relationships with others outside of xie lian this takes away from having more depth in the side characters. They’re really only related as far as xie lian’s relationship with them. Though thankfully xie lian gets rather close with a few officials and the ones we get to see more of are rlly interesting. I especially loved the reconciliation of mu qing, feng xin, and xie lian at the end of book 5. honestly their relationship was one my favorites and i’m glad they finally said what they had to say to each other after 800 fucking years. Also Shi Qingxuan is a delight. we stan sqx in this house.

The characters i wish we had seen more of were yushi huang (although she didnt rlly want to be there, good for her), Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu. I very much wish yizhen and yin yus story happened earlier on and we had more time with them. It felt strange to have their subplot occur towards the end and it was sort of out of place but i liked them a lot!! i wish there was more to it. and that there was a reconcilation but mxtx hates happy shidi’s doesnt she, (glares at novel jc). Also man yin yu did NOT have to die like that i’m sad.

Also, honestly.. i don’t think qi rong added to the story whatsoever and i have no clue why he and guzi were there. qi rong just pissed me off the whole time and added literally nothing.

going back to yushi huang, i’d like to say for the millionth time that i hate how mxtx uses any of her female characters. like we get it.. u hate women being useful... im still pressed but what i want to say has been said many times before so ill leave it at that.

Hualian:

I really really did like hualian at the end. They had a truly epic love story and it was so beautiful, especially when hua cheng repeated his words as wuming to xie lian as he started to disappear. But, I said it once and i’ll say it again. I don’t think Hualian is a super healthy relationship. As fiction its fine (i firmly believe fiction impacts reality but let me finish), i guess bc literally nothing about their situation can be replicated irl and none of it ended up containing manipulation or abuse or anything bad but there was a potential for it to and i’m really glad it didnt go that route.

Hualian is a highly idealized and romanticized relationship full of some truly troubling feelings of self worth. While its “beautiful” in a way that hc really was xls most devoted believer, it wasnt healthy for him to live for xl like this. Nor was it healthy for xl to feel so unworthy of hua chengs love.  

Hua Cheng’s devotion to Xie Lian is a little too extreme and it bothers me. When the truth was revealed abt the Temple of 10,000 Gods I had the same reaction as Mu Qing and Feng Xin. I was like... HEY WHAT THE FUCKK that’s a little uh... thats NOT HEALTHY,, dianxia PLEASE say smth. But ofc Xie Lian didn’t say fucking anything and and i was so pissed. Like the whole thing of Hua Cheng living his life solely for XIe Lian is really kinda fucked up and not romantic. I was holding out hope that at some point XIe Lian would sit him down and be like “Hey! I love you and i’m really grateful that all these years you’ve still believed in me when no one else did. But you can’t just live your life for my sake. You deserve love from many other other people and deserve to have a life and happiness outside of me. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you need to not only think of me.” or something to that effect

It bothers me that after Xie Lian learns the truth he doesn’t once reassure Hua Cheng that he didn’t have to make Xie Lian his reason for existence. Like.. idk i just think that’s rlly kinda unhealthy. Like I understand why Hua Cheng is so deeply devoted to Xie Lian-- he saved his life twice and was the only one to ever show him kindness and he’s seen xie lian suffer a fate worse than death multiple times. I get that he wants to protect him and make his life easier, but to not let anyone else into his life and spend 800 years looking for xie lian is just overkill. Like if the whole 10k statues thing never happened i’d be 100 percent fine with hualin but the whole devotion to that extent... uhhh yea.. no that put a bad taste in my mouth. Obsession should not be romanticised. I don’t think any reader of tgcf is going out and deciding to live like hua cheng obviously but still.

Also Side note, the whole 100 swords scene.. bro i felt for hua cheng, the way he screamed seeing that, i don’t blame him. I was so horrified reading that chapter. i don’t think i’ve been so horrified by a piece of media like that in a while. Poor fucking xie lian.. oh my god. I understand the intense reaction he had and how seeing that prompted such a degree of loyalty but still.. 10k statues?? the cave that mu qing and feng xin saw... thats a little too much obssession... like please.. dial it back.. im begging u.

I was talking to mary (liviahyes) and she said smth abt how Hua Cheng doesn’t have a character outside of xie lian. And she’s right, he kinda doesn’t. If Xie Lian didn’t exist neither would Hua Cheng. I get that that counds kinda romantic but in practice i don’t think its a good things. Especially because Xie Lian has a story outside of Hua Cheng, hehas goals, he has friends, he has something. Hua Cheng said it-- his only dream is Xie Lian. Which is romantic but very very unbalanced. 

THAT BEING SAID, i still rly liked their relationship and i think theyre cute they just have issues they need to work through. I mean they have time but yea. It wasn’t perfect but eh. overall i’m bitter bc they couldve been THAT COUPLE but theyre so many bad implications as mentioned above and i.. smh. They still have amazing moments. Like the lantern scene, the alter scene, the “what matters is you, not the state of you”, the end when hua cheng helps release the shackles on xie lian, the scene where hua cheng disappears, the way xie lian waited for him, like they were so close to being THAT COUPLE but then mxtx and her fujo ass just had to make it uncomfortable like that. i’m so bitter. Like the reason why i wrote out all of this is bc this novel could’ve been great but so many little things added up and made the experience far more sour than it shouldve been.

MXTX did hua cheng SO DIRTY by not giving him a character much outside of loving xie lian and being good at everything. Like when I first learned abt how Hua Cheng beat 33 heavenly officials at what they excel in best i was like WHO IS THIS LEGEND but honestly.. he rlly doesn’t have any motivations outside of helping xie lian and I wish he had more to him . Like if we had more situations like the one where hua cheng dug out his own eye to save the group of mortals on mount tong’lu then he’d have been a much more well rounded character. Honestly, that’s rlly the only instance where he seems to have taken xie lians ideals to heart. I wish we had more of that bc that scene was so cool. i wish it hadn’t been revealled so late and there was more than one occasion where he defends others (minus xie lian ofc) without anything for himself to gain that.

To contrast hualian with wangxian, i think wangxian work so well bc at their core, they have the same life goals and same ideas about people and the world. Where in hualian, xie lian has core principles and morals and hua cheng is just like, anything for xie lian. SMH they couldve been great but overall i think hualian falls flat for me because of my own fear of dating someone who doesn’t have a life outside of dating me. Moreso, my parents had this sort of unbalanced relationship towards the end of their marriage and it ended very badly and yea, i just can’t whole heartedly love relationships that in any way resemble this, even if it ends differently. that’s a personal thing tho.

I don’t think Hua Cheng has ANY bad intentions towards Xie Lian or ever will. I don’t think he’s ever manipulated xl or tried to force him to love him. But again, it’s my own personal feelings that makes me feel kinda.. ehh conflicted abt hualian. There was potential but again.. fujoshis ruin everything... smh. Overall i think the way it ended redeemed the issues it had but still there were issues and i really wish xie lian like,, reassured hua cheng about living his life freely at some point but whatever. 

IN CONCLUSION

TGCF had the potential to be better than mdzs, it rlly did but it was bogged down by the authors own toxic mentalities abt love, and mlm relationships, and treating women like ppl and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I enjoyed this book, truly i did (otherwise i wouldn’t have stuck through and read 750k words of it) but there are some flaws that cannot be glossed over. I hope that tgcf when it does get adapted, goes through the same miracle that cql did and makes the characters more like ppl and less like tropes but i doubt it. Also i highly doubt that a live action tgcf is feasible given the supernatural aspects of the series but we shall see. I’m excited for the donghua when it eventual comes out but i will continue to be critical of the novel bc..well.. you see why. idk if i’d reccommend this book tbh bc like yes i would, no i would... well.. </3. yea. overall, it sure was something that i enjoyed in spades. especially the last 5 chapters. I generally liked it but had many issues with it at the same time, but honestly, yea thats the standard fair for a mxtx novel. 

[reggiejworkshop]

Animaniacs: The Trip (part 2)

It was in the middle of the morning as the beautiful sun shone directly over the Warner Bros studio in Burbank. Everyone was out and about, enjoying the day. However, three people were not taking advantage of this.

"Oh, here it comes!" Yakko groaned.

Both Wakko and Dot winced as they heard their brother heave for the third time in a row. They would have been more sympathetic had his puking not sounded like the Tasmanian Devil trying to sing death metal. The sound almost made them want to puke again for themselves. Yakko finally came out of the bathroom, a wave of relief spread across his face.

"Who thought it looked better going out than in?" he groaned.

"I don't get it, I thought it would have tasted a lot better than that" Wakko said, confused that he made a food item that he himself couldn't stomach. He along with the rest of his siblings' mouths were still burning.

"Well, now that nightmare is over, what should we do today sibs?" Yakko asked with a peppy tone.

"Let's go see what our favorite psychiatrist is up too." Dot proposed.

"Good idea" Wakko added.

The Warners climbed down the tower. The bright rays from the mole tipped sun beaming down upon them. They reached Dr. Scratchensniff's office in no time at all.

"Oh, Scratchy!" the trio chirped. They stood outside the door to his office, waiting for him to shoo him away. But nothing came.

"Scratchensniff?" Wakko asked. He slowly opened the door. The person they were looking for was not here, instead, another person was lounging in the sofa, barefoot.

"Oh, hello boys…" she replied.

"Hello, Nurse!" Wakko and Yakko whistled.

"Boys," Dot said, rolling her eyes. The trio watched the dainty nurse get up from the sofa, stumbling on her bare feet. Both brothers' hearts began to beat as her curvaceous body loomed up above them. Hands on her hips, she stared down at them.

"Uh, Nurse did you happen to see where Scratchensniff went?" Wakko asked, slightly taken off guard by her posture. Nurse knelt down to his height with a coy grin.

"No, but I just happened finally see how cute you really are," she said slowly with a husky voice. She puckered her lips. "Well, go on"

Wakko eyes widened with disbelief before shooting a glance at his confused siblings. Without a moment too soon, he puckered his own lips and slowly leaned in. The middle sibling gleefully prepared for what would be up to this point the best Friday morning ever!

BURP!

The blast of her mustard gas smacked Wakko down to the floor, sending Dot into a fit of laughter.

"Oops, must be the beans," Nurse said, as she bent down over him. She barely noticed her lower posterity was facing the other Warner, and that particular Warner was enjoying the view.

"Um, Nurse you sure your feeling alright?" Yakko asked, trying his best to see past her bulbous rear. She cocked her head to look back at him.

"Were you staring at my ass?" she snapped with an odd mischievous grin. Yakkos face dropped, he had not expected that response.

"Uhh…. Not exactly"

"Oh I think you were"

"Nah, I think I wasn't. Whoa!"

Yakko stopped mid-sentence when Nurse grabbed him by the hand and friggin threw him into the sofa. After a dizzy spell of stars and drumsticks, Yakko looked up to see the nurse's butt looming right above his head.

"Would you like to get a closer look?"

"Yes, Wait I mean no!" Yakko began to protest before she planted it right onto his face. He flailed his arms helplessly as he was losing air. Unfortunately, that would be the least of his problems.

BLLLLRRTTTT!

The loud foghorn-like blast rumbled the sofa underneath her. Yakkos body went limp as Nuse finished giving him the royal Dutch oven. She got up and fanned sewage scented vapors towards the siblings.

"Whew, that was a good one!" Nurse complimented herself. Both siblings reeled in disgust.

"When did this turn into a Ren and Stimpy cartoon?!" Dot whined. Green faced and ready to puke, Yakko crawled away from the smoldering sofa and right towards his siblings.

"Ugh, now I know how Smollett's career feels like now…" he uttered breathlessly.

"So, boys…" Nurse said. She pinched the tip of the tongue with her teeth and scratched underneath her armpits "What do you say we do some time?"

"Okay, first off that sentence made no sense, second of all what's up with you today?" Yakko asked, genuinely concerned.

"Is that time of the month?" Wakko whispered.

"Come on Yakko. I thought you wanted me. And I want you too" Nurse cooed, continuing to advance towards them.

"Uh, Aren't you coming on a little too strong so soon? After all, according to Ruegger I'm only 14!" Yakko protested.

"That's never stopped you before…" Dot remarked.

"Not helping Dot!"

"That's okay, age is nothing but a number. I can have fun with all three of you" Nurse said, staring them down with a lustful gaze. She whipped out a stick red lipsticks and smeared the gooey stick all over her luscious lips.

Faster than you can 'Goodbye Nurse!' the Warners vanished out of sight. They stood outside the psychiatrists building, trying to ignore the moaning coming from inside.

" I think we lost her!" Dot uttered breathlessly.

"Whew, I am a man of the pursuit but this isn't what I had in mind!" Yakko complained.

"No kidding! That wasn't the Nurse we know!"

"I wish Scratchy were here, hed know what's going on!" Wakko added.

A loud ringing came from Dot's Ipad on the ground. She picked it up to answer it when she froze in realization.

"When did I get an Ipad?" Dot asked herself.

"Just answer it," Yakko told her, ignoring the plot hole.

Dot pressed the device and suddenly the three of them were seeing their favorite psychiatrist on screen in a Skype connection.

"Hello, there kids" Scratchy greeted. His large gourd-shaped head took up most of the screen.

"Scratchensniff, your assistant has turned into a blond-haired Pepe le Pew! What should we do?" Yakko asked with impatience. The psychiatrist groaned with agitation.

"I don't know, maybe it's her time of…" An indistinct voice came from behind him, cutting him off. "Be right there Serena!"

It was here the Warner's noticed that Scratchy didn't appear to have a shirt on.

"Uhh… Scratchy, what's going on over there?" Yakko arched an eyebrow at the screen.

"Yakko, I was actually very busy with a session right now" Scratchy replied. Right as he said that a voluptuous bronze skinned harlot passed by in the background. "An in-depth session. Bye"

The IPad shut off with an electronic sizzle.

"I don't believe it! Scratchensniff just blew us off!" Dot said incredulously.

"Hey, you kids!" A rough voice yelled at them. The Warners turned around, completely surprised to see it came from Ralph. The fatback guard came marching towards them, his gut jiggling over his ammo belt with each stride.

"What the hell are you kids doing out of the tower?!"

The Warners were barely fazed by his hostile demeanor as they simply walked past him. Yakko greeted him with a cheer.

"Hey, Ralphie boy! We'd love to mess with you, but we got a bit of an issue to sort out. Catch you later. Byyeee!"

The Warners gasped simultaneously when the guard snatched up by their tails in one swipe. He yanked them till he slammed their backs into the wall, pinning them to it with his meaty hands.

"Hey, easy with the fur Ralph!" Dot yelled at him.

"I- Is this about the liquid heat incident last week?! We told you we were sorry!" Wakko blabbed nervously.

"Shut up! I wasn't done talking to you damn freaks!" The guard bellowed, causing both of them to shrink. The eldest sibling bore an angry glare at the guard, not liking his sudden mood swing.

"How nice, cause we sure are" Yakko retorted. "Wakko… if you may"

Out of Wakko's hand came his trusty oak mallet. Within nanoseconds, the swinging weapon swooped in the air like a graceful piranha before landing in gracious hands of the mall cop security guard.

Wakko paused to read the run on sentence above him. " What…? Wait STOP!"

"Hammer Time!" said Ralph.

BAM!

The Warners exploded into a restroom inside, causing drywall and porcelain to shatter everywhere. The trio's toony bodies slammed against an open stall. Its occupant hobbled out of the room in fear, not even bothering to wash his hands.

The trio got up from the ground, still seeing stars and drumsticks. They laid their eyes on Ralph who happily whistled in the center of the hole in the wall, slinging the mallet over his shoulders. something seriously wrong was happening today.

"I don't know what hurts worse, getting hit with the mallet or that cheesy line?" Yakko groaned.

"As if you have to ask," Dot said with annoyance.

"Gee, that was fun," Ralph said with a sardonic smirk. "What do ya say we do something else?

"Yeah buddy, if its 'Whack a Warner' well we're not interested" Yakko spat back. He and his siblings broke out their own mallets, ready to pile drive him at the slightest move towards them. Out of character or not, they were not going to let this slide.

"Nah, I want to play a different game …" Ralph replied before pulling something big and black out of his back pocket. And no it's not what you're probably thinking of. The guard began wiping off the barrel of an old fashioned Colt 45 in his hands.

"Ralph, when did you get a gun?" Wakko whimpered. A malicious grin spread across the guard's face.

"Ah, Ever heard Russian Roulette, well this is the California Crapshoot!"

Bang Bang Bang!

"Yikes!" the Warners shrieked as Ralph fired several random rounds in the restroom, obliterating the tile floor beneath them.

"You had to say that in this room?!" Dot screeched. They bounced off the walls like orbeez balls, popped in and out of the stalls and bunny hopped on the sinks, barely avoiding the projectiles.

"You're looking at the original parkour experts folks!" Yakko said to no one. He was immediately thrown off balance when another shot destroyed a nearby sink. A hard jet of sewage water swept the trio off their feet.

Ralph stood over them and aimed the intimidating weapon directly at them.

"Any ideas?" Dot said nervously.

"Wait! Let me try something! Wakko jammed his finger into the barrel of the gun right before Ralph could fire.

BLAM!

Without warning, the colt 45 disintegrated in a large shock wave, sending the guard flying into an open stall. The toilet was liberated from the floor and landed right onto the guard's bald head.

"Whoa! That actually worked!" Wakko said with a delirious chuckle.

The Warners ran out into the hallways, which were unusually empty despite that it was in the middle of the day.

"Help Help! Ralph's gone rogue!" Yakko yelled out right before he froze mid-air, "I can't believe I'm actually saying that!" he resumed running with the others.

They screeched to halt when Nurse appeared at a doorway in a dirty crusty covered wedding dress.

"Oh, you're back!" she moaned before puckering her red lips. "Ready for the honeymoon?!"

"Hit reverse sibs!" Yakko yelled. The trio ran backwards to the point where they were nearly moonwalking out of the damaged building. At this point, the trio had zipped clear across the movie lot. Above them, the dark blemish on the sun above had gotten larger.

"Yakko, what's going on?!" Dot said, pulling at her bow. A stumbling giraffe mooed at them.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"" Looks like we'll have to go to the one other person who can help!"

A quick trip to the park was all it took for them to reach the person they were trying to find. They stopped in front of the largest tree in the park and ran right up to its front door.

"Slappy! Slappy!" the trio yelled as they banged on the door. The door opened.

"Hello, Godchild!" Slappy greeted them at the door in an oversized light blue robe. The elderly squirrel looked at them blankly with a sickly yet sweet smile across her lips.

"Geez Slappy, you heading to a Dugger's convention? What's with the robe?" Dot said, staring into the squirrel hazed eyes. Slappy simply took out a wreath made of daisies and poison ivy and planted it right on top her head.

"No children, I'm heading to the town square for the peace ceremony. Care to come?" she replied in a monotone voice.

"Oh no. Not you too!" Yakko whined as his siblings smacked their heads. Slappy shrugged.

"Oh well, you're missing out on enlightenment," Slappy said before she carefully scooted past them. Birds and doves swirled around her as she frolicked out of the park and into the busy street.

"Oh shit!" A driver yelled as he narrowly swarmed out of the squirrel's path and crashed into a beaver dam.

The Warners stared at the scene, completely slack-jawed and befuddled.

"Did someone finally make opposite day a real holiday?" Wakko asked.

"Doubt it. This has to be a dream…" Yakko replied.

"Warners?! What are you guys doing here?" an irritated voice came from behind them. In a rare blue moon occurrence, the Warners were actually relieved to see that it came from Mr. Plotz. The grumpy CEO stood at attention, waiting to hear whatever excuse they would have for today. But today was not one of those days.

"T.P., I can't believe I'm actually happy to see you," Yakko said, graciously hugging him. This moment of tranquility soon ended when the CEO, actually hugged back.

"Well I am happy to see you three, you three always make this studio great around here!" Plotz said with pleasantness.

Yakko recoiled from him instantly, his blood running cold. Shivers ran up Dot and Wakko's spines.

"You three look like you need your frowns turned upside down!" Plotz pointed them. His nose had gotten larger and turned a bright shade of red.

"No… no" Dot said while shaking his head. The words that came from Plotz's lips plunged the Warners siblings into a fuzzy pit of despair.

"You're not Plotz! You're not supposed to be encouraging!" Yakko pointed an accusatory finger at him. The CEO giggled, yes giggled, as the pale-faced man approached him.

"Oh, Yakko you seem tense. Maybe you should let me give you another hug."

Plotz held out his frilly cuffed arms. His custom fitted blazer turned into ghastly bodysuit of slime green and mustard yellow. his balding hair turned into a twisting mess of orange fur. When the agonizing transformation was nearly complete, the pupils in his demented turned a jaundiced shade of yellow.

"Maybe a game will suffice, a balloon animal possibly?" Plotz continued, his voice sounding more higher pitched and nasally.

"So this is what you see whenever you come across clowns?!" Yakko said to his younger brother while he trembled. Dot held onto him tightly.

"Uh huh, but he's that not that scary, to be honest…" Wakko stated, waving him off.

"Froinlavin!" Plotz exclaimed with a demonic sound. The content smile on Wakko disappeared.

"… but now he is! Hide!" Wakko rushed for the front door to Slappy's house, his siblings were right behind him. Inside the house was Nurse in a revealing Harley Quinn cosplay.

"Hey, there puddin! I'll be your Harley and you can be my Batman!" The nurse said before she pulled a nearby lever which showered her body with cottage cheese. Teeming with ecstasy, she ran for the door.

"Uh… how about neither?!" Yakko uttered before he slammed the door and reinforced it with extra padlocks and chains.

A piercing brumm of a chainsaw came to life eviscerating the California smog around them like butter.

"Seriously, who's writing this?!" Dot said, looking at the statement above. Ralph popped out of the bush nearby with the lethal weapon ready to shed.

"Heeeres Ralphie!" the guard sneered with crooked teeth.

"Ahh! Duck!" Yakko screamed. He yanked Dot out of the way just as the metal from the chainsaw kissed the side of the tree where she stood. All three of them ran away, nearly stumbling from the shower of acorns and bird residue falling from the glorious old oak tree. The large tree shuddered and shook before it came falling down. Both Ralph and the clown unwisely happened to be standing within its shadow, the latter holding a long yellow balloon.

"Who wants to see a sword?!" Plotz said.

Crash!

Meanwhile, the Warners hid inside a nearby booth a few blocks away…

"Wait, phone booths still exist in Burbank?!" Wakko wondered.

They hid inside a nearby phone booth and anxiously watched the guard come down the street a few seconds later, cackling at the top of lungs. The chainsaw still running in his hands. Yakko added in a couple of coins and picked up the phone. It rang.

"Hello?" Scratchy responded.

"Scratchy, you got to get back here now!" Yakko said to him.

"Ugh, why?"

"The whole studio seems to be going crazy, it's like everyone we know has contracted Nicholas Cage fever!"

"Yakko Puh-lease, I'm very busy!"

"Doctor? Sire are you ready for another round?" another voice answered.

"Hey, wasn't that Michelle Phiffer?" Wakko asked. Yakko jaw dropped in realizing that he was right.

"What the- Scratchy! That's my crush!" He huffed with indignation.

"You snooze you lose Yakko," Scratchy said before he hung up. Again.

"This dream better end soon, it's giving me a headache…" Yakko rubbed his forehead. He barely noticed the red glowing dot on his temple.

"Aw, let me fix that," said Ralph.

BLAM!

Yakko ducked his head just in time. The entire phone fixture exploded from a projectile blast that came from across the street. They looked up to see Ralph had ditched his uniform and was now in full camouflage and commando gear, complete with grenades on his belt and a smoking Uzi in his hands.

"You got to be kidding me!" Yakko exclaimed.

Ralph unloaded on them with nonstop fury, all while letting out a guttural wail that would have made John Rambo tremble. They bolted out of dodge, seconds before the rest of the phone booth and the surrounding area was peppered into minuscule pieces.

The Warners ran all over the place, desperately trying to find someone who hadn't gone full retard just yet. The dark blemish on the sun covered more than half of the sun.

They spotted a crowd in the center of the town. All of them were wearing more of the ghastly light blue robes Slappy was wearing. Without a moment too soon they muscled their way into the crowd. A sea of blank faces and drooling smiles were all they could see.

"Hello, all you glorious creations, time of reckoning has revealed itself unto us" A speaker bellowed above the crowd, one the Warners immediately recognized as Brain.

"Oh no- looks like those years with Pinky finally made him snap" Dot whispered.

"Oy, potato Oy, potato" The crowd chanted.

"Give us not your money, but your unwilling duty ship to love everything with peace and cheese sauce"

"Oy Laredo, Oy Laredo!"

"And let us forever be together through whatever obstacles may appear, let push them into One Direction!"

"Fried tomato! Winnebago!" the crowd chanted.

"Surprisingly these guys are less nuts than Flat Earthers" Yakko muttered. He winced briefly when a larger cult member completely covered in robes brushed past them, stepping on his toes.

"Hey, manners are still a thing you know!" Dot snapped at him. The man looked back to give an evil grin. Their faces dropped when they realized it belonged to Ralph.

"Yeah, we're not sticking around for this!" Yakko commented before he and his siblings climbed onto various cult members, not caring that they were ruining perfectly good haircuts or giving full on concussions. None of that mattered. They had to get away from Ralph, for the first time in a while they were actually scared.

The fat guy whipped off his robe, revealing that he had on nothing but a roll of dynamite around his waist. Yakko's eyes widened in shock as he made a mad dash to catch Wakko and Dot. All while The Brain continued to preach.

"And as we pray to out suns who we rejoice from afar. They bring us enlightenment as we say…"

"Admiral Akbar!" Ralph yelled.

BOOM!

The Warner hunched together, shielding themselves from the blinding light that came from the nuclear explosion searing the air around them. It rumbled the ground like fruit roll up's on a hot day, and vaporized anything within its path.

When it finally stopped. The Warners got up to see the entire yards of nothing but a scorched flat wasteland. And its only occupants were the Warners themselves and Ralph's sparkling blue spirit. The dimwitted guard looked at his own predicament with shock.

"Huh, I guess those old instructional videos were right. All you have to do is duck and cover." Wakko said.

Ralph could nothing but pout as a flying nimbus cloud lifted him high into the heavens, all while he glared at the Warners and gave them the middle finger. He disappeared in the cloudy marmalade sky, barely missing the sun which was now fully eclipsed by the dark spot. The Warners didn't care as they gleefully waved him goodbye.

"Bye bye!" the trio chirped.

"Whew, glad that's over," Yakko said.

"Yakko …" Nurse's voice cooed from a distance, hearing it made the eldest Warner flinch with an ugly grimace.

"Oh no!"

"Oh boys, I have enough toys for everybody!" The nurse came sprinting at them like a drunken gazelle. This time she wore spike studded leather boots and lingerie. And draped around her neck were anal beads and ball gags.

"Yakko, what were those two things the narrator just mentioned?!" Dot asked, her face wrenched with disgust.

"Something Fifty Shades of Grey probably touched on in better detail," Yakko replied. They quickly started moonwalking away from the potential blond dominatrix in making.

"Kids!"Mr. Plotz yelled. Behind them, Plotzo the clown came running towards them with an army of multicolored balloon animals in his wake. One of them, a pink giraffe, brayed at them. "Do you want to sing a happy song? Froinlavin!"

Just above the trio, the blue spirit of Slappy Squirrel came flying down from the sky carrying peace doves and unicorns. The Goodfeathers dive bombed with her, ready to decorate the Warners like old statues in a train station. The Warners trembled together as they watched the pandemonium descend upon them.

Suddenly, as if their prayers had been answered, a car pulled up nearby. Not bothering to check who it was, the Warners seized the opportunity. They burst through the car window action Bond style and face planted into the backseats.

"What can I do for you?" the driver replied with a Brooklyn accent.

"Take us anywhere but here! And step on it!" Yakko told him.

"The car driver slammed on the gas pedal and breezed away just in time. Nurse, Plotz, and Slappy's armies all collided into a shower of shrimps and clams.

"Will this dream ever end?!" Dot sighed, as she threw her head back in the seat.

" I hope so, I don't how much of this randomness I can take" Yakko replied.

"Can I change the radio?"Wakko asked the driver.

"Sure" the driver replied. Wakko tuned the radio dial to different stations.

"...Despite the growing hole in the sun's surface, it is getting hotter than MY MOOOOM…!

"...Get Scwifty...!"

"...Mississippi Queen, if you know..!"

"And now, this is Mordecai and Rigby live from LA with our musical guests today, Rita the Cat and Eddie Vedder will be performing a song."

Wakko sat in the back with the other two Warners and sighed in relief. "Oh good, something normal for once."

The hair on the back of their necks rose as they heard first few guitar notes of Black Hole Sun eerily plucked from the speakers.

"In my eyes, indisposed, In disguises no one knows...", Rita sang.

Realizing this was a sign of worse to come, the driver looked down at radio with dread.

"Oh fuuuck no!" The car screeched to a stop. The driver kicked them out with a swift kick. "You kids aren't roping me into this craziness."

"Hey come back!" Wakko and Dot shouted at the guy as he speed away high speed, barely missing a semi-truck skidding across an intersection. Somehow they could still hear the music.

"...And my youth I pray to keep, Heaven, sent hell away"

"We're not giving you 5 stars!" Yakko yelled at him.

An ambient drone undercut the music with a vibration that rumbled the entire ground beneath their toes. The large dot on the sun had completely overtaken and had now blocked out all of its bright rays. Instead, the head of Flavio the Hippo appeared in the dot, smiling down at them with a toothy grin. It then opened its mouth and began sucking in air like a straw. And the music at this point was deafeningly loud.

"...Black hole Sun, won't you come. Wash away the rain…"

Trees and skyscrapers squished into purple pus-like orbs, floating their way into the ginormous void above them. Bloodshot eyes in the skies stared down at them, screaming for vengeance and lustless agony. Tears filled with clams and shrimp glistened down its victims.

"I think whoever is writing this dream has officially checked out!" Yakko said, covering his ears.

"We're dreaming? Then how come I can actually taste this shrimp?" Wakko held up a half-eaten shrimp he'd picked up off the ground, it was the size of his head. For extra measure ,both Yakko and Dot pinched their cheeks. They hurt.

"Oh, God…"

The sun descended in the west upon the sparse horizon, the Flavio shaped star widened his gaping mouth and increased its gravitational pull, sucking in anything in his path. People, prairie dogs, pets, and including the Warners themselves.

"Hang on!" Yakko yelled over the apocalypse, his terrified siblings clutching to him tightly. The ground below them pulled away like crumbled cookie crumbs, spilling away into a sea of a dark blue ocean.

The water tower they'd come to call their home had smashed against a nearby gas station. Some of the gas began leaking out and flooding into the street. In a desperate attempt to stay afloat, they grabbed onto the broken legs of the tower and held on with their feet helplessly dangling in the wind.

The girrafe knocked into the trio, loosening Dot's grip on her brothers. She could do nothing but scream as she disappeared in the swirling dark void.

"Dot!" Yakko screamed.

"Yakko, I don't feel so good." Wakko croaked. He started to disintegrate in a haze of chili powder and pepper. Yakko watched his brother disappear like an open KoolAid into the black hole.

"...Won't you come, won't you come..."

"Wak...?"

The final guitar chords were coming near. An earspiltting rumble came just above his numb head. He looked up. On top of him was a planet-sized pitcher of the Mississippi Queen drink falling from the sky, topped with a nice Molotov cocktail. Yakko closed his eyes just before it connected to the ground with a final earth-shattering smash.

original link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13263720/2/The-Trip

[starsweepersold]

                MY HTTYD 3 THOUGHTS

please keep in mind i didn’t love the film so don’t come here if you want a fluffy, in depth analysis of the good points.  and also note that these are my opinions ( on a movie which means this isn’t a big deal ) so, like... if you don’t agree, that’s fine lol.  i’m not here to draw fists, i just want to explain my side so that how i approach threads with ruffnut post the movie might make sense ( even though this rant is far from ruffnut centric ).

also.  uh.  this is long.  like.  really long.

first, let me clear up two things.  one, the plot, while my BIGGEST issue, isn’t really a bad plot overall.  it’s just... not what i think the third should have been and, ultimately, was a huge letdown for the franchise.  so i’m not surprised people like it and enjoy it.  it’s not... a terrible plot, it just.  in my mind.  ruined so much potential.  and could have been handled way better. a few changes, and i think it could have been what i wanted.  but how they approached it was just.  nah.

two, i’m going to probably address the light fury in a way that makes it seem like i hate her.  i don’t.  in fact, i liked her more than i anticipated.  character wise.  i was worried she would be rude, bitchy female who refused to even acknowledge toothless because h00man friends and found him dumb and uninteresting until he majestically saved her and they fly to the moon in loving happiness.  but she wasn’t.  she was balanced with her caution of humans while also seeing that the ones with toothless weren’t a danger so she didn’t completely and utterly avoid them.  she was interested in toothless and not just the other way around.  plus, she was just kind of cute.  so i have nothing against her as a character.  i have every problem with her as a major aspect of the plot which i do not think she should have been.  aka i think crappy writing did her wrong.  so if it seems like i ever hate or am throwing shade at the light fury, that’s not true, it’s how she’s being treated or used.  which isn’t her fault.

okay with those out of the way, one last thing.  super brief.  the animation and music was ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY LUSH.  no issues with that.  smooth, gorgeous, stunning, next to lifelike.  the imagination of the movie was a+++ so despite my other issues, i have no complaints on that.  stunning.  i would watch a thousands times over just to look at all those details tbh.

to le rant... dissertation... thing.

the hard part is figuring out how to start this.  because there are a couple... many... problem areas i just have with the movie.  so i’mma just go and hopefully i’ll get some formulaic or at least coherent explanation down.

i think my biggest disappointment was just.  the complete and utter disregard for the friendship between toothless and hiccup for sake of pretty, dragon lady ( here’s where i’m saying i’ll sound like i hate the light fury.  i don’t.  but i’ll call her being used poorly as “pretty, dragon lady” a lot because that’s essentially her entire plot use sadly ).  i get what dreamworks was trying to do, but shit did it fall flat.  did it just crumble.  it was painful for me to watch because it felt like toothless just fucking did a 180 and everything he had with hiccup was completely sidelined until the goodbye where we finally get some semblance of emotion from him about the idea that he’s leaving hiccup.

it was like watching hiccup being a foster parent and knowing he’s about to send toothless to his forever home and toothless being the happy, slobbery puppy who is just happy to be there and will love whoever he’s with.  literally like.  hiccup lets toothless go to find light fury and is like “bring her back :D” and toothless just had no plans of coming back from what we can see in his behaviors.  which is where i see what dreamworks was trying to do.  they were trying to do hiccup and toothless parallel growing up and finding their places in the world and toothless’ was to go lead the dragons while hiccup’s was to remain with berk as chief.  except for while toothless was like “yep, cool, i’m good,” hiccup was the one still thinking and worried about him ( as a decent friend would ).

they tried to explain this by using hiccup’s insecurity.  that he’s nothing without toothless, right?  and then they just.  never instill confidence in him.  even to the end he relied on toothless or the light fury.  like.  at some point they just sort of pretend like hiccup found himself, but there was really no turning point.  sure, he learns he needs to let toothless go but.

he never... finds his confidence in being a leader without toothless.  and then their friendship for the sake of all this is just.  reduced to him riding out on a boat to see the dragon and pretty, dragon lady one day when he has small children.  we had two amazing movies with these two growing together and as one and learning and developing and then in this one.  toothless just.  goes on and hiccup faces a thousand and one problems and only solves like one ( again... i understand they were growing up and moving on and it’s a story about that and how friends can last forever despite that but it just felt like they erased the deep friendship to have one move on quickly and the other just be trapped in insecure land and never give him a way out ).  it was such a “we just want to get a tear jerker” ending by that goodbye scene.  gotta make the dragons leave, gotta separate the two except the two felt on opposite ends of the spectrum the entire movie.  like the only time toothless and hiccup really felt still connected like they were in the first two movies/the beginning of the third before pretty, dragon lady was when toothless would look to hiccup while he needed help trying to do mating dances.  and even then it was more just, like... “help me win pretty, dragon lady because she’s more important!!!”

which i get it, love is love and wonderful and great but.  you didn’t... have to toss hiccup in the pit for this, you just didn’t.  and they stopped being friends but “hiccup doesn’t know how to lead without toothless” and... uh.  well.  toothless was moved on, “peace out, bro, i got pretty lady <333″

their friendship was just so incredibly special to me.  so so so so special.  it was what made me fall so in love with the first.  and hiccup breaking through drago’s control to toothless was so touching.  forgiving his friend for indirectly killing his father.  their bond.  was THE integral parts of those movies.  and in this one.  it was played off as more of a hinderance for toothless’ chance at love and freedom.  so that just.  hurt to watch.

what i wished: light fury wasn’t the massive, major plot point she was.  a side plot of them finding out there’s a light fury and hiccup trying to help toothless win her would be great.  it would have also been intriguing to see grimmel realize he missed a night fury and light fury and it would give both hiccup and toothless more incentive to fight strong and fast together to protect this new friend of theirs.

speaking of grimmel.

what a bloody letdown.

he started off so cool.  he was the night fury slayer.  he had these awesome dragons.  he could play three steps ahead.  he wasn’t phased at all by these three other... hunter warlord people.  he wasn’t this emo-looking stereotype like drago.  he was cold, manipulative.  calculating.  deadly.  went inside hiccup’s house and everything.  i was digging it.

but then his entire evil plot started to revolve around pretty, dragon lady and his... fear factor just.... diminished?  like.... badly.  like.  he knew exactly where hiccup and the tribe was going and yet somehow... lost them?  he let the light fury go... to... what exactly?  like... it was never fully explained what letting toothless and light fury meet accomplished for him.  like if toothless had just stayed with light fury in the hidden world and hiccup hadn’t come with astrid, what could grimmel have done?  he just.  lost.  he only had a chance again because hiccup’s needy, ex girlfriend like status got him and astrid caught and toothless had to save their asses.  and then somehow he needed ruff to lead him to them?

...he literally pointed at the islands the berkians could be at on a map.  how did he just suddenly lose them.  how did he not know they were on an island without ruffnut where did his excellent tactical skills go?

oh, wait.

he had to get made dumb and weaker because if he actually remained a decent villain then pretty, dragon lady would get less screen time in favor of a decent fight.  and they made him call it a “waiting game” and that the time was what made it fun but.  it was just an excuse to forget about him for a bit so we could get back to toothless trying to mate.

you have the guy who wiped out the night furies and he just.  sits back and lets them have fun dance time and go find the hidden world and literally never leave the first island they settled on and he does.... nothing....... until they go to him.

i’m sorry, what.

the killer of night furies?  more like the killer of a decent villain plot :/

don’t even get me started on his “death” scene.  his dragons are detained carrying the cages.  wow.  no cool fight with them.  captures light fury who he already had and let go ( if he knew toothless and light fury were gunna love love then he could have just used her from the start like he really could have and he also just... seemed smart enough to know toothless and hiccup wouldn’t sacrifice her so he just.  yeah.  she should have been a side plot, would have been more exciting for him to realize he missed two because his anger could have become beautiful with the fight and will to conquer ).  oh and even better, the poison which prior to this final scene only put night furies to sleep suddenly can be used to control pretty, dragon lady.  so now we’ve got that typical fight where toothless can���t actually fight or wah wah, he’ll hit his girlyfriend oh no.

cue dramatic scene from hiccup which was almost nice because asking light fury to save toothless was such a hiccup/toothless relationship moment and, briefly, reminded me of how close they are and that toothless is his best friend, but then it just becomes dramatic fall where of course we know she’ll save toothless and hiccup.

and then grimmel is just in the ocean and buh bye and that’s it.

the infamous night fury killer, y’all.  fucking falls in the ocean after the worst plan he’s probably ever thought out.  actually, just kidding, he probably didn’t think it out.  it was bad and his three steps ahead turned into like seven steps behind because the fact he wants to kill the night furies and deliver all the dragons to his accomplices is just.

put on the backburner for the pretty, dragon lady plot.

man i just really wanted light fury the side plot, hiccup and toothless’ strong friendship to lead them forward into defeating grimmel and protecting her and the other dragons and then just.  learning through each other that they both are powerful people/dragon even independently of each other and they have their own tribes of sorts to lead and toothless is needed there and the dragons can have a better life orsomething.  toothless having to leave “because humans aren’t ready for dragons yet” was dumb, y’all.  and not at all encouraging or lively.

the final lesson was basically humanity sucks, hiccup never learns that he’s strong on his own but he just has to let toothless go anyway, toothless takes 75% of the movie to even care about hiccup and having to say goodbye...  grimmel was the most unimposing villain ever.  overall lessons: love means letting going ( cough just fucking forgetting your friends cough ), growing up requires sacrifice...  basically getting older sucks.

the flashbacks were almost okay.  the one with stoick crying over valka was actually amazing but... the one with the hidden world?  way to just shit all over how stoick was in the first movie.  makes his intolerance in the first movie seem... less so?  like.  “oh, i just wanna make the dragons go back to their land so we can be safe and they can be safe.”

no, stoick, y’wanted to fucking murder them all.  i guess his motives could have become worse over the years but.  then that just makes him more a bad character because he just gives up the idea of harmony and becomes “fuck it, kill them all” and uh........ yeah.

( the irony of this all is that hiccup ends up becoming the one to be like “well, guess we should live separated :///” )

i could get more in depth with these explanations probably but idk is it worth it, this post is already long enough.  i’m getting the basics across.  i think.  if you’re really curious, you can ask for more info on something.

a final thing.

other than, like. eret, valka, tuffnut, and astrid, why did all the characters.... suck?  they took... literally nothing seriously.  tuffnut didn’t either but, tbh, his “guy talk” stuff with hiccup was so great that i’m okay with him lmao.  but... fishlegs was barely there, snotlout was creepy with hitting on valka, and ruffnut was literal hell.  sure, her scene with annoying grimmel and all was “funny” but man did it make me cringe.

as a ruffnut stan, she’s... not that fucking dumb.  she would have looked back, she would have made sure she wasn’t being followed.  even in the show she wasn’t that bad.  and the show ruffnut was... bad.

like i just don’t know what to say.  they were all useless.  there were two solid scenes were they felt like they were there and actually friends with hiccup and part of the gang.  the first scene with the raid and then when toothless is, like.  practicing his awkward dancing and hiccup is telling them all about the light fury ( fishlegs is running around trying to draw her and the twins are interacting and everything like they all felt there and part of the group, it was awesome, and then they just never play a role again other than ruffnut’s absolute stupidity which was just a horrible moment for her and a weakass moment for grimmel because we’re reminded he went from being in total control to not knowing wtf he’s doing because oh, letting pretty, dragon lady go is actually and problem since she and toothless just flew off bye bye ).

...also tuffnut and ruffnut were HORRENDOUS to each other?  wtf?  and forgetting his sister?  uhm.  their whole relationship was just.  awful.  and just for laughs.  it was.  cringe fest.

okay lied.  now a final thing.

the ending.  i get dreamworks wanted to show the kids but just.  end it sooner.  i didn’t want to see hiccup and toothless reunite.  i didn’t.  especially not after how bitter everything just made me at least let me be sad and stay sad.  you have.  all this buildup, you have an actually decent scene with them saying goodbye and being the friends we know them to be.  and then you’re just

“lol just kidding here they are again.”

like.  have the kids, see hiccup sailing off with them.  end.  and it just reinforced the idea that hiccup never actually got over the idea that he’s nothing without toothless.  i wanted it concluding with strong, hiccup power and the knowledge that we know toothless is off being a badass somewhere with light fury.  it would have been much more impactful.  if you’re going to commit to the dragons leaving, full on commit.  him seeing toothless again would have felt more right if toothless and the dragons had left just for their betterment of lifestyle and not because “humanity no goo.”  idk it just.  was dumb and dragged on.  see the kids, see them sail.  end.  like i said.  i can’t even remember what hiccup was saying over all of it because it hit me it went from something that could have been awesome and learning about letting go and building life and all that to “lol but yay i found my dragon again :D”

also hiccup’s older model was just his same with a beard?  at least astrid’s looked better.  and then kids were just.  baby hiccup boy but with blond hair and little pig tail girl ( isn’t she a model used in one of the other movies?  her model was super familiar ) but with brown hair.  pretty uh.  yeah.  and the nightlight babies....................

personally.... not impressed lmao.

and, well.  that wraps up my major thoughts for now.  i’m sure i had others but it’s been like three weeks since i saw the movie so.  i’m going off what fiery embers managed to keep burning during this time.

in regards to ruffnut, you can see i didn’t like how she was portrayed.  so for the most part, i’m erasing that section in her canon.  she will have looked behind her and been cautious.  i’ll do the plot a flavor and just go with how grimmel should have been and that he was actually an intimidating villain who knew where they were and was waiting for the chance to strike.  so my ruffnut didn’t fuck up like that.  also she escapes by better wit than just being obnoxious :/

and also happy to just ignore a lot of how the movie was handled but.  for the sake of partners, i will otherwise accept canon as it is.  just.  now you can might see why i didn’t care for the canon as is.

ps i haven’t 100% read over this because it’s late, forgive any horrendous typos that i’ll fix later hopefully when less sjklfas;d

[honeyzhong]

Chenle Drabble

[Word Count] 970 

[Pairing] Reader x BFF!Chenle

[Genre] Fluff

[Quote] “The floor is lava” - xxx

“C’mon nooooo!” You heard your friend yell from across the room. You turned to Jeno staring at his screen in agony. You had tons of questions as to why he was doing that but you just assumed that he lost another one of his games. “Jaem what is wrong with the internet?”

“I don’t know bro but my phone is acting whack.” Jaemin replied as he repetitively pressed buttons on the wifi router. You looked over to your phone to see proof and sure thing, there was no internet.

“Okay, first, never say whack again. Second, I will call the Internet company to see what is wrong so chill.” Donghyuck stepped up with the number already dialing. Jaemin took a seat back next to me since we were ‘studying’ but we were looking at memes on his phone almost the entire time.

After some passed we all sat in practical silence waiting for what Donghyuck found out. This sight was something new to you as you watched the notoriously loud dream members actually sit quiet, nervously waiting for new, over internet.

“Okay, they said the headquarters is having connection problems to our area.” Donghyuck announced which put a puzzled look on Jeno and Jaemin’s face but they both asked a question for a further understanding. “It’s simple. We won’t have internet until they fix the problem at headquarters, which probably won’t be happening anytime soon since it’s about seven now.”

The two boys practically fainted at the news as they couldn’t fathom not having wifi. You rolled your eyes as a chuckle escaped your lips. You heard a knock at the door and hoped it was an older member so they could stop these boys from being so dramatic but nope, the open door revealed no one but the ultimate drama king himself, Zhong Chenle, your best friend.

“Hey! What going on? Y/n? Why are you here?” He questioned in the span of three seconds which luckily you have grown used to. You glanced at his large eyes with an eyebrow lifted to show he was curious about what was going on.

“I came over to study, since you said you had plans with your parents. These two,” You pointed to the sighing boys who took over the sofa. “They are upset that the wifi is down.”

Chenle let out a nod, understanding the situation. He clapped his hands loudly catching the attention of almost every boy in the dorm but as per usual, Renjun didn’t care what was going on since he was actually doing his homework. “Let’s play a game.”

“Oh?” Jeno and Jaemin asked with a smile appearing on their face. You raised an eyebrow to try to question what exactly your best friend was up too and you could see the sneaky intent in his eye.

“The loser has to pay for dinner of the winner’s choice.” He said which grabbed everyone’s attention. “Exception! If Y/n loses, they will purchase ice cream for everyone.”

“The game?” Chenle said putting everyone on edge. He smiled as he finally said it, “The floor is lava.”

Immediately, everyone jumped on a piece of furniture. You took a spot on the coffee table you had previously been sitting at, Chenle took a stand on the recliner, and the others found random places. After about two minutes of playing there was a sudden loud crash from the kitchen.

“Hyuck? What the heck?” Mark asked surprised with betrayal. You and the rest laughed at the scene that was displayed. Donghyuck reasoned by saying that the game was getting boring.

Chenle surprisingly was the next to go as he dived for his phone which was falling from the side of the recliner. He couldn’t contain his pout as he wanted to be the winner. A smirk appeared on Chenle’s face as he decided to attack the other members to get them to lose. He got Jeno off the edge of the couch but Jaemin was a challenge until he decided to target you.

Chenle tickled you and tried to playfully push you off the edge but it was no use, you weren’t budging. He huffed as he saw that Jeno had successfully gotten Jisung to slide off the entertainment center. You smirked at your best friend as you were feeling confident that you could win. “I’m not going to lose, Le.”

“You sure about that?” He questioned but before he could perform an action, you both heard a sneeze and looked over to Jaemin who actually fell off the side of the sofa. Everyone let out a laugh then you heard a whisper in your ear from Chenle. “Let me go tell lover boy how you actually feel about him, hm?”

You turned to see a all-too-sneaky grin on Chenle’s face. You almost choked up debating whether he was really serious or not but you decided no to risk it. You dropped your leg of the edge of the table lifting your hands in defeat. “Oops, I lost.”

Chenle smiled at you with obvious satisfaction but you returned a smirk to him. You leaned into his ear, “Don’t push it Le, wouldn’t want me to accidentally tell the boys who you were texting that made you drop your phone would you?”

“Oh...Y/n you’ve gotten better at this.” He said with a tone of respect which made you both let out a laugh as you both then went to focus of Donghyuck making Mark to order expensive sushi. Chenle draped an arm around your shoulder as he looked to the other boys. “How about another game? Truth or Dare?”

You smile fell from your face as you looked at your best friend, He wasn’t going to step down then neither were you. You smirked at the taller boy. “I’m game.”

[kashmiresims]

Packing, Baking, and Braiding

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It shouldn’t be so hard to decide what to pack. Part of the problem was that there were so many choices. Alarie dug through her dorm drawers looking for outfits suited for warmer weather. Shorts, tanks, and sandals were all items appropriate, but then there was the matter of what to wear for the casino. She definitely planned on looking fabulous as she tried her luck in Pandora.

It was a good thing she was going to her parents’ house that night, for she had a lot more clothes to decide upon stashed in her old wardrobe there when she couldn’t fit everything in her dorm dresser when she moved to college.  

The sudden vibration of her phone caught her attention from where it lay on the desk. She picked it up and answered, “Hello?”  

“Have you been avoiding me?” Rafael’s voice filtered through the receiver. He sounded agitated.  

“No, I’ve just been busy,” Alarie explained while digging out a cute pair of panties to add to her duffel bag, “I’m going to Pandora this weekend with Leona and Illyana and have to figure out what to pack.”  

“You didn’t tell me you were going to Pandora!”  

“Am I supposed to?” She rolled her eyes.  

“It’d be nice to know. Maybe I wanted to spend time with you this weekend and planned a big romantic outing but because you failed to tell me your plans I now have to find someone else to take to Kashmire Pointe,” Rafael stated bitterly and Alarie found the tone suspiciously close to whining.  

“Take one of your bros,” she suggested without sympathy. He could have texted or emailed her, she was known not always have her phone around so couldn’t be expected to answer every call. She did also not feel obligated to tell him her weekend plans if he was okay with just going off to the beach with his fraternity brothers without mentioning anything.  

“Fine I will!” He responded indignantly.  

“Did you call just to yell at me or was there something you wanted to discuss?” She snapped, she didn’t have time for Rafael’s tantrums.  

“I was calling to see what you were doing this weekend but no use now…hey, Is there going to be a lot of guys where you are going in Pandora?” He asked suddenly seeming concerned.  

“I smell your insecurities and it’s not attractive,” Alarie said dryly. She really did love Rafael, and had been going with him since she was seventeen, but they had their share of tiffs over the years. She was jealous when he had gone to college and joined a the popular Hoh Fruhm one no less, a place where he was surely exposed to many beautiful girls more mature than her. He was overprotective of her around other guys, call it what you will, a machismo of sorts. They partied in different social circles and it caused tension but at the end of the day they either decided to break up or stay together and it had been on and off for several years now.  

Her comment had subdued him instead of riled him, and she was thankful for it.  

“So can we get together when you return? It’s fall break after all,” she heard him exhale to calm himself then ask.  

“Definitely. I will call you on my way back into the valley and we can go for drinks or something,” she agreed. He had to slip her phone between her shoulder and ear to free her hands so she could add her basic overnight hygiene items to her bag.

“That sounds like a plan,” Rafael agreed and then he paused, “I love you, sorry I yelled.”  

“I love you too,” she replied and smiled to herself before hanging up.  

She planned to Meet Leona at the Blackwheel bus station where they would then get on a bus to Isla Del Kashmire together. Neither Alarie nor Leona had their own vehicle so relied on other means of transportation to get around the region, thus the reason they needed Illyana to drive to Pandora. Leona would be coming to the station from Sim State University and Alarie would be arriving from Academie Le Tour. She had told her Mother that she and Leona would be spending the night at the house and then Illyana could pick them up early in the morning so that they could head out to the desert town six hours south.  

Alarie pushed the last of her clothes into her bag, pulled the cords tight to lock everything in, and then threw it over her shoulder. She was ready for a well-deserved break from school.  

Leona was already sitting on a bench in the Isla Del Kashmire terminal of the Blackwheel bus station loop when Alarie got off the connecting bus. It didn’t seem like she had been waiting very long.

“Hey girl!” Alarie waved and headed toward where Leona sat with her roller suitcase. It was much bigger and Alarie bet that Leona was bringing twice as many outfits, she did after all, have a concert to sing at. With Edric King no less! Alarie was ecstatic for her friend and on some deeper level, jealous of her talent and luck to be a part of something bigger.  

“You packed light,” Leona commented as Alarie sat down next to her on the bench.  

“You packed heavy,” Alarie laughed and shot back, toeing the roller suitcase, “Did you bring your whole wardrobe?”  

“I brought all my options. Maybe you and Illyana can help me pick what to wear for the concert.”  

“Don’t they have like a wardrobe department you can use?” Alarie asked.  

Leona hadn’t considered that. She’d just always worn what she wanted when she sang but it was possible this was a big enough deal that Edric King would need her to wear something standard for a backup singer. So she just shrugged.  

Alarie brushed her hair from her neck, thinking she would have to do something with it. It was much too thick and long to wear down in the desert. Her fingers felt the texture of the braid running around the side of her head and she got an idea.  

“Can you braid my hair tonight?”  

“What?” Leona laughed, not expecting such a request.

“Yeah like milk-maid type braids that I can just wear all weekend. I’ll boil to death if I leave my hair down, it’s like wearing a rug.” Alarie explained.  

“You’re exaggerating, but sure, it will be like we’re in grade school again,” Leona giggled, “Having sleepovers and braiding hair. All we’re missing is…”  

She stopped her mouth from completing the thought. She didn’t want to remind herself of what they’d be missing. Because she missed it too much. She missed him.  

Alarie didn’t need to ask what she had meant, but she hid a knowing smile from Leona as the bus pulled into the station.

Alanna had always been big fan of eating sweets before they were baked, cookie dough especially. So it was a small kind of torture being instructed to hold a bowl full of the sweet temptation while Franz decided what else to put into it. They had run out of counter space due to their large baking project they had spent all afternoon on for the bake sale the next day. They had already gone through scones, turnovers, pies, brownies, and lemon bars and now were on the last batch of cookies.

“Why can’t we just make them regular chocolate chip?” She wondered.  

He looked around the kitchen thoughtfully and shook his head, “It needs to be something more unique, we already have too many chocolate chip cookies.”  

Alanna had to disagree but didn’t voice it. There could never be too many chocolate chip cookies.  

“If the point is to sell them, wouldn’t simpler be better? Everyone likes chocolate chip cookies!” She protested.  

He gave her a sideways glance and then picked up a bag of raisins and Alanna took a horrified step backward, clutching the bowl to her protectively as if it were her child, “No! You are not going to ruin these cookies Franz Schoulsburg!”  

He shrugged one shoulder, took a few raisins out of the bag, popped them into his mouth and then grinned while he chewed them.  

“You told me that everything I baked was delicious, was that a lie?”  

“I never thought you would be blasphemous enough to put raisins into chocolate chip cookies,” Alana made a disgusted face. Obviously, she was not a big fan of raisins.  

“Fine,” he set the bag down much to her relief and instead picked up a bag of chopped almonds, “Will these be an acceptable alternative?”  

She nodded, nuts were a nice enough companion ingredient and she held the bowl outward. Franz stepped forward and started shaking almond bits out of the bag.  

They were using her parents’ kitchen since Franz didn’t want his mother to know about the bake sale, or how they were doing it all for her. Alanna thought it was a sweet thing to do and didn’t understand Franz’s insistence on keeping from her. His mother’s kitchen was much bigger and better prepared to handle their stock of baked goods.  

At least she was hanging out with Franz again. With Fall break basically upon them, she wouldn’t have daily assignments that took up her free time. Though Franz didn’t ever seem outwardly bothered or disappointed by that fact, she could tell he was when she had to decline his invitations to go to the bookstore like  they used to. Baking with Franz was a good activity despite the sad circumstance for it, it was actually fun, and the result was always delicious. Just never when raisins were involved.  

Franz must have baked bread earlier that day; Alanna caught the scent of it on his shirt since he was standing near enough. Though, she didn’t know he had made it for the bakery or for his culinary class at the community college. He shook the last bits of almond out and told her to stir the dough once more. It was harder the thicker the dough became, and it was too thick for a regular mechanical mixer.

When she was done, she handed him the bowl and he began to scoop out the cookie dough and lay it with precision into little rows of balls on a baking sheet. Since he didn’t need the stirring spoon anymore she quickly coveted it and started licking the extra dough off of it, relishing the sweet, soft, buttery taste.  

“So this is the last batch?”  

He nodded wordlessly, as he filled the last space on the baking sheet with a scoop of dough. He picked it up and slid it into the oven. Alanna grabbed the timer and wound it to 15 minutes, then set it onto the counter next to the oven. Franz turned and saw her continuing working on cleaning the spoon of the cookie dough and made a small chuckle.  

“What?”  

“You have some cookie dough on your face,” he replied. Alanna left the spoon in her mouth and quickly wiped at her face, seeming to hit just about everywhere except the actual place he was referring to. As he maneuvered past her, he reached out and brushed the spot just underneath her lip, clearing it away for her, “There.”  

She gave a laugh and thanked him before throwing the spoon into the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes they had made. Franz started bagging the scones and turnovers he had baked earlier that were now cool enough to touch. Alanna joined him to help, though she should have probably gotten a start on washing the dishes. One of the stipulations of them using her parents’ kitchen was she had to clean every last dish that had been used before she went off to the bake sale tomorrow.  

She planned on spending the night in her old room, waking up early and taking the goods to sell outside of the Mocha Chip Coffee Shop with Franz. She had already asked the owner if it was okay and they agreed. She had been a long time patron of the little coffee shop and since they didn’t sell baked goods–just coffee–it wasn’t like she and Franz were affecting or competing with their sales.

When a stretch of counter was cleared, all there was left to do with the goods was wait for the cookies to get done. Alanna checked the timer and found about five minutes left. Franz pulled himself up to take a seat on the counter. He’d been on his feet nearly all day and let out a deep sigh.  

Alanna leaned against the counter next to him, “How is your mom doing?”  

His large shoulders shrugged. Understandably, he didn’t seem to want to discuss it. She bit her lip, feeling bad if she had upset him by asking.  

In an uncharacteristic move he suddenly slumped forward with his hands covering his head, his hands running anxiously through his hair, seeming like he was trying to ease a headache away.  

“Franz? What’s wrong?”  

He was quiet for a few long moments, and she knew he was thinking of what to say. They could clearly hear the evening news from the living room where her parents were watching. The Thackerys had been kind enough to keep out of the way in the kitchen while Alana and Franz were baking, in addition to letting them use it and make a big mess of flour, sugar, and various fillings. They had ordered in pizza for dinner instead of interrupting the flow of the baking.

“I…I…don’t know if she’s going to be okay,” his voice finally cut through her thoughts, it was low-pitched as usual but it cracked with emotion as it wavered. He stared hard at the kitchen floor, “She won’t tell me how she is. I think she doesn’t want me to worry but it’s ten times worse when I don’t know anything at all.”  

Alanna felt a lump form in her throat seeing him so distraught. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how awful he was feeling. She lifted herself to sit on the counter next to Franz and put her arms around him while resting her chin on his shoulder to try and comfort him–to convey her utmost sympathy but she didn’t say a word because there were none she could think of that would help.  

Franz was not a touchy-feely type person, he was usually content to maintain minimal contact with others, but that was mostly a result of him not having a lot of opportunity to show and receive physical affection as he grew up. He hugged his mother on rare occasions, and he didn’t ever have the inclination to hug Fauna. He’d never even been kissed!

She had found that tidbit out about him when they were discussing a book they had both read when the romantic subplot came up. He had offhandedly admitted to her didn’t see the point of the characters kissing more than once because he got the gist of it the first time. When she explained that’s just how it’s written to convey realism of being in love, he still held the same sentiment. She had laughed at his attitude and called him unromantic but he just agreed with her assessment.  

Alanna had found out that despite his preference for minimal physical contact, he would tolerate her embraces. She had hoped it was because they had been friends long enough that he was comfortable with her doing it and got some sense of ease or enjoyment out of it. She enjoyed hugging Franz in any case—he was like a big, warm, plushie toy that only the most skilled people at carnival games could win.  

“Holy Plumbobs, what did you do to the kitchen?” They heard Alarie ask and Alana quickly sat up straight in surprise at the sight of her sister and Leona Hillenburg coming into the house.  

Alarie threw her duffle bag onto the dining table and walked into the kitchen to survey the mess they had yet to clean. Leona was dragging a rolling suitcase behind her. Their father appeared, hugged Alarie and then slightly chided Alarie for putting her duffle bag on the table and told her to take it upstairs, which she waved off and assured she would. Leona waved out a brief greeting at them before heading up the stairs.  

“We’re baking,” Alanna answered matter-of-factually.

“Are you spending the night here?” Alarie asked and crossed her arms, completely ignoring Franz. It was nearly uncomfortable the way the guy stared without emotion.  

“Yes, why?” Alanna responded. It was uncanny how Alanna looked at her with nearly the same, neutral expression. It was just one of the mannerisms Franz always had that seemed to rub off on her over the last few years.

“Leona is sleeping over, but I was going to have her use your bed. If you are staying over too, where is she going to sleep?”  

“Why are you even home?” Alanna asked. She hadn’t seen her sister in months. They went to school at different campuses and Alarie hardly picked up her phone when Alanna called.

“We’re going on a road trip tomorrow and have to wake up early. Illyana is picking us up. I’m consolidating!” Alarie explained, “Why are you home?”  

“I come home every weekend,” Alanna reminded her, though it wasn’t like Alarie paid attention or cared about that fact no matter how many times Alanna had heard her parents complain that Antoine and Alarie never visited. Alanna just found it a better studying environment during the weekend, being in a familiar place and not having to be interrupted by the girls in her dorm.

“Of course you do,” Alarie sneered, “I’ll just grab one of our old sleeping bags for Leona then.”  

Alanna disliked how her sister unfairly suggested through tone that it was Alanna’s fault that Leona had to sleep on the floor. If they’d just had asked, she would have let Leona sleep in her bed.  

The timer went ’ding’ signaling the cookies were ready to be taken out.  

“What was that about?” Franz asked and slid down from his seat on the counter to get the cookies.  

The unnatural frown on Alanna’s face lifted and she looked a bit sheepish for being caught in a mood other than her usual cheeriness. Her tone however, was not indicative of cheer.  

“Alarie thinks I’m perfect.”  

“What’s wrong with being perfect?” Franz asked as he crouched in front of the oven to see how the cookies looked.  

“I’m not perfect!” Alanna insisted and turned her back on him, her frown reappearing.  

“Okay. You’re awful. Absolutely horrid,” Franz said evenly but she could tell it was sarcastic.

She appreciated that he was trying to find humor but it was serious. All her life people seemed to think she could do no wrong. The truth was she hated disappointing others and tried not to do wrong by them, but then somewhere along the way she became one too many teacher’s pets, a regional science fair winner or the chess club president and then people thought she was too good for them, too intelligent, too pretty, or too kind—and it made it difficult to try and make friends or any meaningful relationships. Franz was the only person who seemed to see her for who she truly was and engage with her in a normal fashion. Not like Reggie, or her sister or their acquaintances.  

“I’m serious. Perfect is just an impossible expectation,” she grumbled.  

“That you have somehow achieved,” he said, again his voice was a deep monotone that most would take for seriousness but it was pure sarcasm. “Even when you can’t eat cookie dough without it getting all over your face.”  

She had to grin at his snark. How could anyone accuse Franz of being boring, emotionless or robotic? All they had to do was spend a little time with him and see he was full of character, and in fact was really amazing.

Alarie had dug out an old sleeping bag for Leona and placed it in the middle of the room between the two beds. She didn’t ever think she would have to share a room with Alanna after high school but here they were. Alanna had finished up the dishes and had went out with Franz, probably to do boring nerd things like read books to each other–leaving Alarie and Leona to pick through Alarie’s surplus of clothes.

They changed into their pajamas and sat on the sleeping bag in the middle of the room. Leona brushed Alarie’s hair behind her shoulders and began parting it out for braiding. It was something it seemed like she had done 100 times since they were little girls. Her father had braided her hair when she was a child and she didn’t like the way he had done it so taught herself better ways and since Alarie had roughly the same hair type, just a bit thicker, Leona would practice different braids on her friend.  

“You sure you want milk-maid style?”  

“Yeah, and make it as tight as possible too. I don’t want to have to do anything with my hair over the weekend,” Alarie instructed.  

Before Leona could start in on the actual braiding, they heard knocking. It was so loud that it drifted up to the second floor where they were.  

“What’s that?” Leona momentarily let go of Alarie’s section of hair and stood up to listen closer from the doorway.  

“I think someone is at the door?” Alarie guessed, not seeming very curious.  

“Who?”  

“Well, why don’t you go down and open it and find out?” Alarie leaned backward onto her elbows and smiled.  

Leona frowned, “It’s your house, why don’t you answer it?”  

“You’re closer to the door,” Alarie replied.  

Leona arched her eyebrow, thinking it ridiculous that Alarie was so lazy that she wouldn’t open her own front door when only a few feet further away than Leona was. Mr. and Mrs. Thackery were already settled in their bedroom, and they were a floor higher and probably didn’t hear the knocking. Alarie had on a grin, which could have meant anything at this point.  

“Fine, but it’s probably just Alanna and she locked herself out,” Leona rolled her eyes and went downstairs. The knocking was still consistent and heavy. A lot heavier than she would have suspected Alanna of.  If she thought about it more,  Alanna was much too responsible to get locked out and probably had her own house key. Leona had a sudden, definite doubt the person knocking was actually Alanna.  

She hesitantly turned the knob, not knowing who to expect and as she opened the door her body seemed to freeze—all except for her hands that flew to her face in utter surprise at the sight of him.  

“Hey there, songbird."

[jnasheb-blog]

LOVE!LOVE!9000! Ep. 3

"Breakfast!"

It's a sunny morning. Besides the smell of bacon and his mom's loud voice, Leslie is also woken by the soft chirps of the birds outside. He takes a peek out of his window, always impressed by how the sun kisses the treetops, little flecks of light dancing across the garden lawn as the wind gently rustles the leaves. He closes his eyes, saying a prayer of thanks when-

"Breakfast!" his mom shouts again.

"Geez, mom, I'm coming!"

He stares up at his ceiling, a large poster of Roscoe Rose, legendary pop sensation, staring back at him with a pointed finger, a mic in hand. The photo was taken during his epic Rock and Roses tour, the highest-grossing music tour in history. Bathed in the light of thousands of smartphones, an unquenchable fire in his eyes, Roscoe seems larger than life, this snapshot of his glory always inspiring Leslie to get himself out of bed.

He groans, pushing himself up and stretching his arms out to the ceiling, his mouth spreading wide as he yawns. Taking a look at his phone, his eyes widen in shock when he notices the time - 7:50 am.

"Fuuuck," he moans, getting to his feet as he rubs his eyes and making his way to the bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror, he observes every feature of his young and relatively unblemished face, asking himself the same question he always asks when he does this: is he handsome? He's never had a girl besides his mom say this to him before so he's always wondered. Moose thinks he's handsome but Moose is his best friend. And a guy. What's the female perspective?

Leslie lowers his head to the sink and brushes his teeth, pondering the various insecurities he always has around this time of the morning.

***

"Where you headed to?" Mom mouths to Leslie while chewing on some toast.

"Moose's. I'm like twenty minutes late though."

She places her newspaper down and peers at him over the rims of her glasses. "You need to stop being so late all the time."

"Gosh, Mom, not a lecture so early in the morning."

"I'm serious. What if you're late for your wedding?"

A question he's heard a million times at this point. She's always trying to get him to be more punctual. And think about the future. And marriage.

He hopes all of that shit will make sense after a couple of years.

"Jesus, Mom, let me get out of here before you start telling me to sign a prenup."

"Something you should consider!" she yells after him as he rushes out of the house, still chewing on his breakfast.

***

"Since you're thirty minutes late," Moose says, "we're gonna have less time to work on you but that's okay, I don't need too much. Come here."

This is Moose's room. He grabs Leslie by the shoulders and places him in front of his wardrobe mirror.

"You see that guy?" he asks Leslie.

"Uh, yeah."

"Say it with confidence, fam."

"Yeah. Yeah, I see him."

"That's the guy we need to convince of something today."

"Uh, okay..."

"Yeah, he's the guy I've been telling you about. He doesn't think he's handsome enough, doesn't think he's tall enough, doesn't think he's funny enough - he doesn't think a whole bunch of things. We're here to convince him that he is."

Leslie chuckles.

"What's so funny?" Moose asks, spinning him around. "This is serious bro. That guy," he once again gestures to the mirror, "is in need of serious help." Moving in close, he mutters under his breath, "Okay, I don't know if you've caught on yet but you need to pretend you and the guy in the mirror are two separate people in order for this to work." He spins Leslie back towards the mirror and begins pacing around the room.

"Geez, if only there was a way, Leslie. If only there was a way to convince this guy."

Leslie looks around awkwardly. "Uh, there must be."

"You're right! Tell him something."

"Tell him what?"

"Anything! Tell him he's handsome."

"Oh, okay. Hey man, uhm... You're handsome." He grins, unable to withhold another chuckle.

Placing his hands on his head, Moose whistles with pity. "Imagine a girl laughed at you after calling you handsome. How would you feel? Would you believe her?"

Leslie looks to the floor and shakes his head.

"Then why is our friend here supposed to believe that bullshit you call a compliment? Try again!"

"Why's there yelling up there?" Moose's mom shouts from downstairs.

"Sorry, mom!"

He turns back and whispers aggressively, "Try again!"

Clearing his throat, Leslie says once more, "You're handsome."

"Nice. Tell him something else."

"I like your moustache even though it's kind of thin and one of the sides doesn't fully connect with the hair on your chin."

"Wha- No that was terrible. That's like saying I like you as a person even though I think you're a piece of shit and wouldn't introduce you to my other friends. Try again!"

It's in moments like this that it's best to do whatever Moose tells you. Leslie's seen firsthand how crazy he gets.

"Your moustache is great, dude. Very classic."

"Okay! We're making progress. Now I need details. You and this guy have been friends for years so get into specifics. What are some cool things he's done that you're really proud of?"

"Oh, of course! I loved that one time you were honest about the extra change the lady at McDonald's gave you. It was a lot of change but you gave it back."

"Okay... Honesty. I fuck with that. What else?"

"I loved how you told those guys to shut up when they were talking about Moose behind his back. And they actually did shut up! I'm still not sure why they listened to me though. I'm not that intimidating."

"Hey! First of all, don't break character. Second of all, you are sure! He asserted himself and meant what he said. They had to respect it. Say it!"

"They had to respect it."

"What did they have to respect? Say it with your chest!"

"He asserted himself and meant what he said! They had to respect that shit goddammit!"

"YES!" Moose shouts, grabbing Leslie by his shoulders and shaking him vigorously. "YES! You're goddamn right they did!"

Leslie stares at him with wide eyes, a bit startled by his manic expression. He eventually smiles as well, admittedly feeling a bit more confident than he usually does.

"Is this shit actually working bro?"

"Of course it is. I told you, a family secret. You keep doing that every time you look in the mirror and I promise you you'll have the biggest dick in any room you walk into."

Leslie strokes his chin and nods with approval. "That would be nice."

The two laugh, collapsing onto Moose's bed and staring at the ceiling.

"You always feel confident?" Leslie asks.

"Who does? There are times I'm convinced I can't handle life at all. But that's what this shit is for. It's not for the good times. It's for the times when we doubt ourselves. My dad said it's like pouring water into a well. Most days you'll have enough water to get by but, on the days you're running dry, you need to come back and draw some more. So when you're standing in the mirror and affirming all this good stuff about yourself, it's like you're inserting more positive instead of negative into yourself. And your subconscious mind is the well. When you start feeling like shit, it'll remember all the good things you say about yourself instead of the bad because that's what you invested more of."

"Woah," Leslie says, "didn't know your dad's that deep."

"Meh, he doesn't have much more than his little mirror trick to be honest."

"It'll be a lot more than a little trick if it works."

"Yeah, you're right. My dad's a genius"

Another shared laugh.

They eventually quiet down, staring into the ceiling as they ponder life and confidence. And that's it isn't? The ideal friendship? Leslie doesn't have a lot of friends but he struck gold with Moose. They can say damn near anything to each other and, when they're not talking, even silence feels comfortable. This is because their feelings aren't said, they're felt. It's a heart bond - the type that doesn't wear out over time.

"By the way, Les?"

"Yeah?"

"We're going to the final exam party."

"Oh fu-"

END.

ROSCOE QUOTE #1:

"SILENCE IS GOLDEN. LOVE IS SHOWN, IT'S NOT SPOKEN."

[againjack]

Over thinking again

This morning I got a group text from Colby and SIL so that she and I had each others numbers. Side note, I had numbers for OB and SIL from a Break the fast email; I just wasn’t sure which number went to whom. Over a working lunch (but a blissful break of NOT being on painful meetings) SIL and I worked out the meal plan for tomorrow night. I’m sad that I can’t cook since a) I had a training (to be a Mikvah guide) tonight and b) am in meetings from 10-5 tomorrow. *le sigh* It didn’t help that SIL was talking about making all this amazing stuff from scratch - like pitas since we are doing Mediterranean. She is like Martha Stewart on crack! Not sure how she has the time.

So tomorrow I am bringing wine. Again. (Like when I went to his parents before Shabbat dinner before Yom Kippur.) I asked SIL if they had a preference since I have a good feel for Colby’s wine tastes. She suggested something sparkling. I thought it odd, but hey, special bdays for both guys so why not? 

Late in the work day I had a few breathing moments and googled wine pairings. Not one suggested anything sparkling. It did suggest Pinot Grigio (which is one of my favs and I know that some of Colby’s family likes it.) 

So at the grocery store on the way home from training I got a funny bday card for Colby and a generic one for OB. I grabbed some strawberries (because of course with bubbly!) I grabbed a bottle of my favorite bubbly (holy cow it is now $20/bottle! I remember it was half that 5ish years ago.) I also found a bottle of sparkling pinot grigio so I grabbed that too. 

Remember the comment the other day about how I wasn’t sure why he thinks I rag on him for not being as quick to get ready as I am? Those who knew me might have caught that I started to suspect something. That he’s reading here. It isn’t that far fetched. First of all this is the public internets. :P Second of all my main tumblr account is the same name as my instagram account and has a direct link here. And with IG connected to FB, he recognizes the name. He’s not stupid - far from. :P 

The only reason I don’t think so is that I know what a big deal it was with his last relationship. Sure things are obfuscated a bit here. It isn’t where his family/friends would too easily stumble across and it uses pseudonyms. I’ve told him before I write about him/us and that I use the nickname of Colby. He’s shown that if he has an issue with something (like cuddling in the morning) he will say something. 

Maybe it is just a guilty conscience. 

Sunday while driving around for some reason my brain went to if he proposed. At this point I just can’t. Too much to talk about and work through. I need to see more from him. (Although that won’t be this week, mostly because of his dog.) Never mind that all the good of starting to get close to actually meeting my minimum last week, not happening this week. But between bday and his dog he gets a lot of leeway.

But, I’ve got serious loyalty going on. Not sure how much is last week, or his dog, or seeing him start to attack the money situation he has... But I can see myself sticking around for a while (much to many peoples annoyance and frustration.) 

So while in the grocery store all this is bubbling beneath the surface when I mysteriously connect dots (that really are stretching and have no business being connected.) The dots? 1. If he reads here, he saw the post about how I’d like to be proposed to in semiprivate and with his family there. 2. He has shown he is trying on multiple fronts. 3. It’s his bday, how could I turn him down? 4. His brother was recently at their parents (and could have picked up something while there.) 5. It is his bday (mid40s!) so if he wants a family time is a ticking. 6. I mentioned to him the other day how I’m showing all the classic symptoms of peri-menopause. Yes that was subtle emotional manipulation to get him to start having sex with me. :P 7. The random push from SIL for bubbly which doesn’t go with hummus or related foods, even for “elevensies” which is the ‘theme.’ 

Side note: how can one not know what meal elevensies is? It was clear from LotR:tFotR it is brunch. That and a quick google search shows it is a real thing in many countries (mostly formerly British colonies.) Especially someone who regularly goes to DragonCon and thus must have basic geek cred. I know how geeky Colby and the middle two bros are, you can’t tell me that OB isn’t just as geeky and by default SIL would also be super geeky.

Yeah, straws and stretching. SIL is just ephusive and likes to go all out and make things special - just like me only more so. lol As I told Colby today, SIL and I co-planning a food event is epic. His response? “Oy vey.” *giggles*

He’s been awful quiet today. I suspect work, dog, and trying to uber. Since tomorrow night is dinner at OB/SIL’s, Friday night is Cirque, and Sunday night is Princess Bride. (Be jealous, live reading with HUGH JACKMAN doing the part of Wesley!) He has been killing himself lately to uber more and try to get various bonuses they offer. He’s doing awesome, averaging $19-21/hour. 

I dunno. So many things. I realize my brain is half in fantasy land. Though I’m sure when it’s just nice dinner tomorrow night that I won’t be disappointed there wasn’t any sparkly. I wasn’t disappointed with the (just) chocolates.