#but vampire romani is here to give me content

[immediatebreakfast]

Dracula sees to it that Jonathan is psychologically destroyed. He wasn't content to simply take his envelopes and paper, which were his methods of sending letters home once more. Dracula, for example, knows that Jonathan is unable to escape the castle, but he nevertheless says, "Even if you miraculously made it out of the house and the mountains and the wolves, you will never be able to go far from here," after stealing his documents, his identity, and his letter of credit (money). "Everything that may have brought you home has been taken away by me. You are a stranger and destitute, so no one will help you. Give up, you can't go home."

It's truly wild isn't it?

It's the powerful image of abuse portrayed from a single journal, a purposeful attempt at breaking the human psyche. What kind of paper trail would lead anyone to Dracula's castle? The locals are terrified of him, the romani are under his control at claw point, and the castle seems to exist in a liminal standing between reality, and hallucination so what does it serve to make Jonathan a ghost in living paper? To make Jonathan spiral more inside those stone walls with doors that won't open.

Dracula is a vampire who is so human that it is scary. Who cares about the lizard climbing when he keeps invanding Jonathan's personal space, who cares about the lack of servants when the Count forces Jonathan to believe how he just fell asleep, how his sleep schedule is suited for the night, how his duty is not finished unless Dracula says it's finished. Why does any vampirism matter when the Count's greatest weapon is his understanding on human rules.

Unlike Draula, the Weird Sisters are what is the mythical notion of "monster". They are the dreamy stalkers that roam the night hunting humans, they are the strigoi, they are the shadows of the moon, what Dracula has an addition in the supernatural, the Sisters embody it entirely. They don't feel different from Dracula, the Count is the different one, how come the ones that came from the original seem to be far more merciful in their monstrousness. Why does he insist in games? Why does he let the prey stay alive one more day?

This is why he is so despicable, why he is the villain, and not a simple antagonist. Dracula is not an inhumane monster drinking blood to survive, he is a humane abuser that loves breaking down a younger and powerless being emotionally. None of his mental games are necessary to survive, or to keep Jonathan captive, he does it because he just wants to. Dracula enjoys the suffering, he enjoys those looks of despair in Jonathan's eyes as he burns the letter just like how an abusive husband enjoys breaking his wife's precious belongings. It's a power play, it's social conventions, it's economic imbalance, it's gothic gender roles breathing down on Jonathan's neck as he must smile while Dracula puts his hand on his shoulder, overly familiar and so degrading my good friend.

One could literally take the vampirism off the Count, and he still would be a terrifying person. He is a wealthy noble man in a land where his fortune, and social standing gives him free reign to terrorize anyone unlucky enough to catch his attention. Dracula is not an inhumane monster, Dracula is the most human right here in the castle as he dares Jonathan to break their challenged standing with a movement of his eyebrows, but in a way that satifies him without Jonathan actually making an attempt of breaking their new status quo, he is just a puny human, he should know his place.

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, June 9, 2024

My posts

MY ABELIAS HAVE POWDERY MILDEW. We have now acquired a fungicide and sprayed down everything in a six-foot radius of Patient Zero, a crape myrtle that had “mysteriously” not grown much foliage back this year. Thrilling, I know.

If you want to know what post-exertion malaise is, it’s me cleaning for an hour and then being laid out for three days. Coincidentally, I had someone else’s post about chronic fatigue and taking constant breaks in my queue. To round it off, here’s an old post of mine about giving yourself and your fatigue the same grace you’d give other people’s.

Side note, I have realized that mobile now cuts off my profile bio to 

She/her. Classy dame, sparkle consultant, vampire

New followers, I have some very disappointing news for you. 

Reblogs of interest

Pride Month: Spotlight on activist/drag queen Marsha P. Johnson

Related: I think the Pride Moth should become the next Tumblr Animal Mascot.

Great Uncles Angelo and Bill, a love story

The Hot Vintage Lady to Rule Them All: Eartha Kitt. 

Hozier Watch 2024: Here’s “Too Sweet” on--I nearly said “The Colbert Report” and I kind of wish it was. 

Dante inventing the circles of hell: It’s the “Thank you king I am commissioning fan art of you” that always sends me.

The flowered houses of Zalipie, Poland

I have had to get a few crowns because I grind my teeth, and I am very excited about the idea of this tooth regeneration therapy, which my dental insurance won’t cover either. 

Come for the five things food banks want most (money), and stay for the tale of the chaos penny drive.

“One of the most dangerous things we tend to do is treat insights as rules”

Translating Sappho is more complex than you might think

The more you know: a breakdown of the differences between “Rromani,” “Romany,” “Ro[u]manian,” and ethnic slurs in Dracula

Vampire Therapist, available to wishlist on Steam

1000 Books You May Have Actually Read: The implied “you” here is “U.S. readers,” I think. I hit 200 (”better than 86% of users on this list”) because I have read a lot of Shakespeare, “I’m Bella Swan and my hobbies are English class” books, and Stephen King. If you have read YA of the last 20 years, James Patterson, or Colleen Hoover, you will blow past me. 

Video

“The Golden Sandwich, made 95% out of aid package contents, 5% with love and resilience 🍉🚨” 

Hey, so, Adobe is forcing you to agree to let them go through all your shit. Adobe responds, and I don’t believe them. 

Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty raising the Progress Pride flag

A guy playing piano and the cat who loves him

“cut to me, playing my horror instrument at 4 am” Okay, but now imagine a hellhound nestled up lovingly against the player of this instrument. 

A roan, a rider, a pride flag, and no tack

The sacred texts

The duality of bun

“Poob has it for you” is probably too new to be a sacred text, but I’m investing

“why are you microwaving carbonated drinks” is not the shocking part

Personal tags of the week

Dune, for some reason, bunnying, and tumblr therapy, a tag that will just body you over and over. 

[hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong]

The Century War of Wyverns Part 5: Dark Jeanne

Previous | Contents | Next

Cat: aaaaah it's finally done! That took forever!!

Kris: Blame Jalter for sticking four fight scenes in a single chapter.

Jeanne: We should definitely rethink how we organize chapters after this singularity is finished.

Cat: Anyway! We meet the eeeeevil Jeanne Alter for the first time, and all sortsa servant fights break out! Also starring surprise guests filling in for Marie Antoinette and Amadeus!

One of the newly awoken dragons turned our way, pulling itself out of the rubble and into the air. It beat its wings unsteadily as it came over the square and just…. kept going? I turned to look, and all three of the dragons are getting the hell out of here.

April (Kris): Good call Romani, let’s get the hell out of here. Guys! We’re leaving!

Spartacus: And give up this chance? The oppressors are coming to us, Master!

April (Kris): They outnumber us, and we have no idea who they are! We need to go!

Spartacus: Come, oppressors! Come out and witness my love!

April (Kris): SPARTACUS I SWEAR TO GOD-

I was about to try and drag the moron along with us when we heard the beating of wings. Soon, five dragons were perched on the ruins of buildings, each one with their own rider. The one in the center, somebody dressed in black armor, spoke first.

???: So, you must be Chaldea. I, Jeanne d’Arc, welcome you to Hell!

April (Kris): <Uhhh...> C-Cool, you’re here already! Now come down here so we can kick your ass!

Jalter: Pffthahahaha! Are you serious? You’re not even worth the effort!

Jeanne Lily: You won’t get away with this!

Jalter: Hmm? Oh, it’s you. I was wondering where you ran off to, other me. I would have thought France would have killed you again by now. Is Chaldea really so desperate they have to recruit children to fight for them?

April: Hey, that’s not- I mean technically we are underaged…

Jalter: BWAHAHAHA! Oh, oh that’s too funny! This country was more than happy to kill me once, but now that I’m fighting back, suddenly they’ve all turned tail! The best they’ve got to defend them is a bunch of children that don’t even know how to count to ten! That’s almost funny enough to make letting you go for now worth it. Almost. Lancer, Assassin, take care of them. Devour them however you wish.

With that command, the furthest dragon on either side suddenly keeled over, falling from their perch. They were piles of ash before they even hit the ground, scattering to reveal two servants. On one side, a young woman with white hair, dressed in some weird sort of ballgown/lingerie mashup. The sleeves, collar, and skirt were ornate, but they were torn up the middle, replaced by a black corset, fishnets, and not much else. On the other, an older man wearing a black suit with fur trim. Both of them were unnaturally pale and gaunt.

April (Kris): Mash, Jeanne, be ready for anything.

Carmilla: You…. you are beautiful.

Mash: Huh? Um, oh, I…

April (Cat): This is no time to be a mashed tomato! Just because they have eyes doesn’t mean they aren’t the enemy!

Carmilla: You’re too beautiful… I won’t allow it! I won’t! Your blood… with it, I��ll be more beautiful!

Vlad: For what it’s worth, I will take your souls quickly, Last Master.

Vlad calmly strode towards us and Spartacus, while Carmilla prowled towards Mash. Jeanne stood in the middle, stock still, minus her shivering. The vampiress sprang but was met by Mash’s shield. Chains appeared from under Carmilla’s dress, clattering around the shield and scraping Mash as the vampire was repelled with a shove. Carmilla’s assault was relentless, mindless even. She threw herself at Mash over and over, circling around the younger girl, scoring glancing blows before being thrown off.

At the same time, Mash was having difficulty finding an opening to strike back. She couldn’t leave her master or Jeanne alone with the other enemy, so she couldn’t move around to find more advantageous territory. She was stuck, metaphorically. Then she found out she was stuck literally, as Carmilla heckled her:

Carmilla: You should pay more attention to your surroundings, fresh one.

Mash realized too late, the chains Carmilla had been attacking with were accumulating at her feet. With a cacophony of rattling and shrieks of metal on metal they pulled taut, painfully locking Mash’s feet where she stood. And then-

Carmilla: Blood… blood… oh, blood! Eternal beauty, an endless banquet… The ugliness of old age shall be cast away until the end of time!

Carmilla: Phantom Maiden!

A large statue topped by the bust of a woman appeared behind Mash. It opened up revealing a hollow space just large enough for a human being, or it would be if not for the dozens of massive metal spikes lining the inside walls. The statue lurched forward, encasing Mash and slamming its doors. Spikes punctured Mash’s shoulders and dented her armor, but her shield wedged in the door just barely kept the statue from swallowing her whole.

Meanwhile, we were having our own problems. Spartacus was facing off against the other vampire, but he wasn’t having much success. They were equally strong, but Spartacus just wasn’t fast enough to land a decent hit on the guy, either getting blocked or cleaving a building in two when he missed completely.

Vlad: This feels… familiar. Have I killed you before?

Spartacus: Raargh! This time, oppressor! This time I will crush you! You’ve run out of lackeys to aid your tyranny!

Vlad: What a pity…

Every once in a while, the vampire’d back up enough to throw out a spell. The cobblestones and timbers would twist into spears, embedding themselves in Spartacus’ body before getting snapped in two by Spartacus’ relentless charge. Mostly. He also took the occasional potshot at us, but a spear’s a spear. We barely kept out of the way, each attack inches away from turning us into a shish kebab.

Cris: <We can’t keep doing this. Who knows how long he’s gonna hold out?>

Kat: <I gotta idea! Let Jeanne up!>

Kat had a point. It had looked like the spears were popping up out of nowhere, but it took time for the magical energy to build up, telegraphing the attacks. Now I had a chance to slow down and think.

Even so, we still had little time to waste. Spartacus was finally starting to slow down, breaking the lancer’s spears slower than he was making new ones. Eventually, his charge ground to a halt.

Jeanne: <Cris, yell at him.>

Cris: <What??>

Jeanne: <You are very good at being loud and distracting, we need to get him away from Spartacus. Yell. at. him.>

April (Cris): O-oi, Dracula! You’re a bit early for a Hot Topic run, aren’t ya?

There was no time to react. Suddenly, we were surrounded by stone spears, each one prodding a different part of our body. If we breathed in too deeply, we’d turn into a pincushion. Just as quickly, the Lancer was standing directly in front of us.

Vlad: You know, when I was forced into this origin, I thought being turned into a killing machine would be hellish. It’s good to know that humanity is still willing to make me enjoy ending their lives.

Our body was growing colder. Had a spear already pierced us, and we didn’t know it? Oh God, are we dying? I- wait, we’re getting way too cold now, what's…

Jeanne Lily finally stopped shaking and turned to face her friend. She took a step forward and raised her spear like a flagpole.

Jeanne Lily: I won’t allow this! O Holy Night, a momentary and unstoppable lovely miracle! La Grace Fille Noel!

Suddenly, a burst of cold air spread out from Jeanne, swirling around the battlefield. The temperature dropped lower and lower, until I felt tiny points of cold started to fall on us.

April (Cat): It’s snowing!

The enemy servants sizzled and retreated at the assault of flurries. Were they really taking damage from this?

Jeanne: <Snowflakes… made of holy water?>

The spears surrounding us fell to pieces as the snow picked up. At the same time, the iron maiden holding Mash rusted away to nothingness, bits and pieces clattering to the ground. As soon as Spartacus could move, he rushed to engage the enemy again, but I hurried over to Mash’s side.

April (Jeanne): Mash!

Her spirit origin was already being repaired by whatever magic Jeanne Lily just unleashed, but I helped her to her feet anyway.

Jeanne Alter: Congratulations, other me. Your little stunt just bought you an extra six seconds of life.

Jeanne Lily: Why are you doing this, you meanie?

Jeanne Alter: Heh. Hehehehe… hahahahaha! HAHAHA! Name calling, really? You think I am the mean one here?

Jeanne Alter: What about France, to whom we gave everything. Our youth, our blood, our life? The France who gave us nothing in return but ridicule and death? Or God? We spent our life obeying His word, but our only reward was hellfire!

Jeanne Alter: If this is so wrong, than why… I have not heard God utter a single word in France’s defense. Have you?

Jeanne Lily: I…

Both of their spirit origins were growing increasingly unstable. Lily’s had almost lost its form entirely, and Alter’s was rapidly oscillating. Every time it started to waver, something in it forced it back into shape. It writhed like a grotesque mockery of a heart. Slowly, Jeanne Alter composed herself.

Jeanne Alter: If the Lord decrees it, it is so: There is no hope for this land. I will burn away the corrupt humanity, no matter how long it takes. I know you don’t understand, child. No, it’s that you could not bring yourself to try.

Jeanne Alter: Ugh, no matter. If the vampires are unable to deal with you, the others will have to suffice. Rider! Saber! End this!

Roman: Oh no, this is bad! Two servants coming in from the front, and two more closing in fast from behind!

Mash: Not now, Doctor, or else I’m going to panic too!

Roman: R-right, n-nothing to worry about. Don’t mind me, just going to check something real quick.

Roman: magi…mari..dot com… “We’re being… attacked… by four servants… What… should we do?” Aaand send!

Mash: Do you really think an idol blog can help right now?

Roman: You never know! Oh, a response! “I guess you’ll just have to die and be reborn! ⭐” The internet is so harsh!

April (Jeanne): Mash, do you think we can break through?

Mash: Maybe? Can Jeanne move this snowstorm with us?

Jeanne Lily: I-I don’t know!

The rider servant hit the ground hard, cracking the cobblestone around them. They were already back on their feet and closing in on us in seconds- Mash barely had time to get her shield up before a fist slammed into it with a deafening clang. Unlike the previous servants, Jeanne’s snow did nothing to slow them down- if anything, they were absorbing its energy just as easily as Mash was.

On the other side, the saber gently floated to the ground and calmly made their way to Jeanne Lily. They pulled out their rapier, and in one swift thrust-

A wyvern’s cry rang out through the city, and Jalter’s surviving mounts fidgeted from their roofs. The two enemy servants also reeled back in pain.

???: YAHOOO! The cavalry has arrived!

???: P-please slow down-Aah!

Two new servants, a rider and a caster, crash-landed their Griffin! That’s a griffin! It went BOOOM right between Lily and the saber, and they both had to leap out of the way to avoid getting hit!

???: Howdy everyone! Those afar, hear my voice! Those near, gaze in awe! I’m Astolfo, one of the twelve paladins of Charlemagne! And this is Sieg!

Astolfo hopped off the griffin while Sieg slid off its back and tumbled to the ground.

Jeanne Alter: And what exactly do an Englishman and a… what are you?

Sieg: Um, I’m Romanian, technically…

Jeanne Alter: Whatever. What are two foreigners doing sticking their noses in a French battle?

Astolfo: I might be English, but I’m a paladin of Charlemagne! I’m not going to let you burn down the place while he’s gone!

Sieg: The maid of Orleans… is dear to me. I won’t let anyone dirty her name, not even you!

The scrawny caster guy pulled out a sword and pointed it at Jeanne Alter, delivering an ultimatum.

Jeanne Alter: Bold. Pointless, but bold. Saber. Rider. Your orders are the same. Destroy them all.

Astolfo: You there, holy lady! I’ll be your opponent today! Master, can you take care of the knight?

Sieg: I keep telling you, I’m not your master! I’ll do what I can, though…

The two of them split up to protect us. On our left, Astolfo faced off against the mystery rider!

Astolfo: Hey, what’s your name anyway? C’mon, I already said mine, it’s only fair!

Berserk Rider: My name no longer matters. All I seek now is death, and worthy opponents.

Astolfo. Huh, that’s pretty sad. Don’t worry though, you found both!

Astolfo charged forward with his lance, boots kicking up snow. He got knocked off course by the rider’s staff, sending him careening into the nearby ruins with a crash. He burst through the other side and looped back around, going to whack the rider with an overhead attack. She caught it at the last second, the clatter of their weapons blowing the snow all over.

The rider was better at close range fighting, but Astolfo’s weapon was so big it made an effective shield. He kept getting pushed back, but neither of them were getting anywhere.

Suddenly, Astolfo went on the offensive! Instead of blocking, he took a solid WHACK on his shoulder, and got a glancing hit in with his lance. The rider’s leg lit up with golden light, and then there was nothing there! She fell back on her butt as Astolfo moved in to attack.

Astolfo: How do you like that? My Trap d’Argalia is one of my noble phantasms! With but a touch, it can return you to your spiritual form! Well, part of you anyway.

The other rider was trying to block now, but her staff wasn’t nearly as good for defense. Astolfo got some solid hits in, sending her bouncing all over the place and crashing through homes before they locked weapons again.

Astolfo: Come on, you can’t seriously like being like this, right?

Berserk Rider: It doesn’t matter what I like. I have no say in this.

Astolfo: There’s always a choice! HAAAH!

As the two riders traded barbs and blows, Sieg and the enemy Saber were having their own duel. I know we’re supposed to be rooting for Sieg, but that little blonde guy was just sooo much faster, and they knew what they were doing! Their swords clashed together, and with a flick of the wrist Sieg’s went flying.

Berserk Saber: It’s over, Caster. Any last words.

Sieg: No… it’s not. Not yet!

Berserk Saber: Please spare the theatrics. If I wasn’t trying my hardest to make this dignified for you, I’d have already skewered you by now.

The saber lunged forward, but suddenly, something started to glow in Sieg’s chest! Whatever it was it spooked all the dragons really bad. They all started flappin’ and screamin’, and the mean Jeanne nearly fell off hers!

Jeanne Alter: Ugh, fucking… fine! You know what? This isn’t worth the headache. Saber, Rider! Go find the others and fall back. We’re regrouping for now.

The enemy servants hopped back onto their dragons and flew off! Sieg calmed down, and the glowing stopped.

April (Cat): Woo! You guys are awesome!

Astolfo: Gee, thanks! It’s fun to play the cavalry now and again! Hey, you guys are trying to save France too, right? Let’s team up!

April (Cat): That would be great! We needed more servants, right?

Jeanne: <Cat, we just->

Mash: That sounds like a great idea. We could even set up a temporary contract, if you’d like.

April (Kris): Wait… where’d Spartacus go? He was here a second ago.

Romani: If I can cut in, we just lost his energy reading a moment ago. I think he’s still chasing after the enemy.

Mash: Should we go after him?

April (Kris): You know what? Fuck it! We’re all half dead or a little bit stabbed. If he wants to go on a suicide mission alone that’s his problem. We are going in the exact opposite direction so that we do not die.

Jeanne: <Kris, that is… hmmm. I mean, you are not wrong, but…>

Romani: I have to agree with April on this one. At the very least we need a chance to regroup, and possibly summon more servants before facing the enemy again. Fortunately, there’s a leyline not far from your location. I’ll send you the coordinates now.

[catrectorauthor]

Book Review: A Great and Terrible Beauty - Libba Bray

I read this book when I was about 16, a good many years ago. I read it before I really understood feminism (believe it or not, it wasn’t always a popular topic with the youth), before I understood the nuances of racism, and before I understood... well, mostly anything. I’ve been telling people for years how good it was, and this year I was compelled to see if it stood the test of time.  I wanted to relive the moments I found most beautiful, and to see if it still spoke to me the way it once had. But I also confess, I wanted to see if the one star review accusations of racism and sexism were true or not. I don’t want to be running around saying “oh that’s my favourite book” if it’s a racist piece of trash that 16 year old me didn’t have the awareness to understand. 

So let’s talk about how it went. Nearly Zero Spoilers Ahead, though I will talk about themes. Besides, the book was published in 2003, you’ve had your chance.

A Great and Terrible Beauty is the story of Gemma Doyle being shipped off to boarding school to become a proper lady after the strange and perhaps mystical death of her mother. Having grown up in India (which was a British Colony at the time), Gemma isn’t accustomed to living by the tight lipped British societal expectations, putting her at odds with all the other young ladies. Mix this in with a slowly unwinding magical plot and a band of not-quite-friends, and you have a general idea of what this book is about.

I understand perfectly why I latched onto this book as a teen. It speaks to a lot of the things we know now to be feminism, but I had no words for at that age. Gemma wanted so many of the things I wanted. She craved a freedom that I could see just over the horizon, just past my graduation day, where I might finally run away and start living. And the magic in this book was my version of waiting for my Hogwarts letter. How could I get my hands on magic?

Libba Bray deals with some very heavy material, including self harm, sexuality, prostitution, illness, death, addiction, etc. Her characters, while a bit trope-ish in nature, are representations of many types of women, all running from something. As these secrets and imperfections are revealed, we see what makes them tick. 

I also thought her subtle yet accurate assessment of female friendship was spectacular. The girls are practically trained from birth to be at each other’s throats. It isn’t until removed from those expectations that anyone is able to start to love one another, because how can love flourish if they’re expected to be rivals?

She also has an excellent way with words, especially in the last few chapters. I’m not much for remembering lines from books, but there are a dozen in this book that have stuck with me for years, including: 

“I fear I will always have to chase the things I want. I'll always have to wonder whether I'm truly wanted or whether I've just been settled for.”

God, that still breaks my heart.

Now to the icky stuff. I got about halfway through a giant wall of detailed review on this part before I took a breath and backed up. Things get a little more spoilery from here on, because it hints at things, but maybe it will just convince you to read it ;)

I’ll start with this comment from Goodreads: 

“Most offensive, however, is the racial and sexual content within the book. The male lead (a young man from India) is sexualized and fetishized for his "exotic" appearance and culture; other Indian characters are shown as either submissive or violent. The Romani people wandering the schoolgrounds suffer from even greater stereotyping: the men are portrayed as slovenly, ignorant, and sexually aggressive towards the white schoolgirls; the women are docile and suitably mystical.”

I’m a white North American. I don’t have the final say on any of these topics. I think the Romani were written in a way I wasn’t comfortable with. Full stop. It sounded stereotypical, and having never spend time with any Romani in real life, I’m hesitant to believe it’s accurate. At the same time, from a first person perspective of a white girl in 1895, I think it’s probably an accurate amount of racist. The shit said about the Romani in the book is accurate to what I hear Belgians around me saying today. A better solution probably could’ve been found, but I’m also not sure that pretending no one was racist is the answer. This is not my field of expertise, just a complicated opinion of a complicated subject. 

I also didn’t see Kartik as being treated as a fetish. I think he was the only boy around for miles, and Gemma had grown up in India, where she probably grew accustomed to thinking Indian boys were cute. In the first chapter she says “I know I’m not supposed to find Indian men attractive, but I don’t see many young men and I find I’m blushing in spite of myself.” I see this as her nature (finding him attractive) vs her conditioning (white colonialist beliefs). Which brings us to the dreams. The sex dreams are a part of being a sexual human being. I had them, you probably had them, most people probably have them. I think it also served a purpose of showing an important part of showing the contrast of being a woman in those days of sexual repression. 

And at no point would I call the women docile and mystical. We’re treated to many moments where the women in the story veer away from social expectations, to reveal themselves as simply human who even belch.  

To sum it up. I love this book. People with more in depth knowledge than I have could give me reasons why I shouldn’t, and I’ll happily take that critique, but if I’ve learned anything from being a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, it’s that you can love something while seeing it for what it is. This book gave me hope, and something to dream of. If you decide to read it, I hope it gives you that as well. 

[bad-draft-stuff]

fate goes (and hecks up)

(and iiiiiii will alwayyyyys looooveeee yooouuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUU--

Sheepy: *It's morning! Eiji is exhausted as usual but decides to pull himself out of bed upon noticing the note on the night table* Sheepy: *Upon it it says: "As I spin in circles, day and night flash before me. Yet, I never grow bored of it - it is a never-ending cycle." Arsé-kun: *That's very mysterious, and absolutely not Satoru's handwriting* ((So it's been over a year of not touching this draft. Oopsy!! Luckily it's after Christmas, so we're still on schedule! Amazing.)) Sheepy: Eiji: ...*yawn*...Wh-what's this...? Arsé-kun: *The first hint for Satoru's gift! Remember? He grounded you last year?* Sheepy: Eiji: ...R-right, my g...grounding...! ...So the first hint would be in... Sheepy: Eiji:...The clock. Arsé-kun: *Better go check! Knowing these Servants, one might steal it before you get there!* Sheepy: *Eiji goes looking for the clock in question!* Arsé-kun: *the clock in question is a beat up grandfather clock that sits next to the stairs. It hasn't worked for ages, but it still looks neat.* Sheepy: *Eiji takes it and reads its contents!* Arsé-kun: *This one is written twice! One is Definitely Not Satoru! The other is illegible. Right. the contents. "The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?"* Sheepy: Eiji:....Ah, a-another riddle... Sheepy: Eiji: ...a coffin. Arsé-kun: *Well, there's only one place for coffins! ... Good luck!* Sheepy: *Eiji goes to the basement!* Arsé-kun: *It's dark... Be careful in the vampire's den!* Sheepy: Eiji: Ah...I-it would've been...been nice if h-he'd put them c...closer together... and th-the steps up... Sheepy: Eiji: ...i-it's dark... Sheepy: *Eiji approaches the coffins* Arsé-kun: *... Luckily, the next scrap of paper is on top of Vlad's coffin and not IN it. We all know Satoru definitely wanted Vlad to hold it and got vetoed. We know.* Sheepy: Eiji:... huh? Arsé-kun: *This is.. Oddly specific for a riddle. What do you do, Eiji, other than hurt?* Sheepy: *...ask the riddlemaster?* Arsé-kun: *Maybe he'll be kind enough to give a hint.* Sheepy: Satoru: The riddle? You want a hint? Sheepy: Eiji:...Y-yes, please. Arsé-kun: *Medusa has a child on her. She's trying to read alone. Help her* Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. I'll give you one hint. It's-- Arsé-kun: *MEANWHILE!* Sheepy: ?: --The Beast Galisant! Arsé-kun: *Enkidu does a few tiny claps. They're delighted to join a hunt!* Sheepy: ?: You must know of it! You must have seen it! The head of a serpent! The body of a leopard! The buttocks of a lion! The legs of a hart! It can only be slain by the one chosen by the divine heavens... me! Sheepy: ?: But I need your help! Arsé-kun: Romani: *sitting on the floor, taking his headphones off* And what? Give you a credit card number? Sheepy: ?:...Credit...card...? Sheepy: ?: This beast threatens all of humanity, you know! Arsé-kun: Romani: That ... isn't exactly a new thing here, sir knight. Sheepy: ?:....... Sheepy: ?: It's got....! A head of a serpent! Serpents have big teeth, you know! You understand! Arsé-kun: Romani: As do dragons. Go on. Sheepy: ?: I need assistance in slaying or, or it'll... Sheepy: ?: ........ Sheepy: ?: I need assistance in slaying ir, or it'll... Sheepy: ?: ........ Sheepy: ?: ...has it done anything threatening...? Sheepy: ?: The Divine did tell me to slay it, so I'm sure it's a threat. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That can be determined upon observation. This weapon thinks a suitable hunting party is the primary objective now, however. Sheepy: ?: So, a good hunting team! Sheepy: ?: A long range hunter, like an Archer! A midrange hunter, like a Lancer! Sheepy: ?: I'm a Lancer, but the more Lancers, the better! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Lancer, Enkidu, ready for deployment. Sheepy: ?: Wonderful! Let's find a few other units and head out! Arsé-kun: *Romani... Decides they can handle it on their own. He's got some time off, and by God, he's gonna use it.* Sheepy: *As the mystery knight starts his hunt, Tristan appears, dragging Lance around.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Good morning, archer. Are you aware of anyone interested in a hunting quest? Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, do I ever love to hunt! Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot! A hunting quest! Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Aah? *..He only started listening when he was addressed* That... Depends? Sheepy: ?: S-Sir Tristan...?! (No, no, with him here, it'll all go wrong! Nobody will notice how cool I am...!) Sheepy: Tristan: What does it depend on? Arsé-kun: *Lance jerks his head towards this as-of-yet unnamed knight.* Sheepy: ?: (But Sir Lancelot can stop it in its tracks for sure...) Sheepy: ?: Sir Lancelot... Will you help me put an end to the Beast Galisant? Arsé-kun: Lance: ......... *he gets nervous and clouds up a bit. Oh no. He's been addressed!* Uhm.. Yyes? Sheepy: Tristan: That name rings a bell... Oh, yes. Sir Palomides used to mow me down for no reason while chasing after it. Sheepy: ?: Wonderful, wonderful! So then! We have two Lancers and a Saber! Sheepy: Tristan: I am an Archer. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Ah. Sheepy: ?: It has the head of a serpent! Body of a leopard! Buttocks of a lion! Legs of a hart! Arsé-kun: Lance: ....... Girr...? Sheepy: ?: And I, Sir Palomides... will be the one to slay it! But to do so, I need help stopping it! It's fast! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I believe you mean two Lancers, an Archer, and a Berserker. We have not seen a Saber yet, sir knight. Sheepy: Palomides: ....?! Arsé-kun: *Lance makes eye contact with the floor. He can feel his sins crawling on his back* Sheepy: Palomides: Berserker's better suited for Sir Tristan! Arsé-kun: Lance: Nnn... Not really.. Sheepy: Palomides:...Ah, you didn't hear...? Sheepy: Tristan: I have always been beautiful in every way. A Berserker could be no such thing. Nor could a Lancer....a Rider... an Assassin... a Saber... Sheepy: Palomides:...of the time he stripped himself and ran naked and mad in the forest for a year? Arsé-kun: Lance: ....... Only one year? Sheepy: Palomides: I wasn't there. Maybe it was longer... Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... Sheepy: Tristan: I did it...beautifully. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Iiiiii don't wanna talk about thiiisss Sheepy: Palomides: There's no time to anyway! Imagine the damage it could leave from its rampage! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: We need one additional member to be a full party. Sheepy: Palomides: Let's hunt for the final member before we hunt for the Beast! Arsé-kun: *Oh, here's someone... Nope, they're rushing pretty quick. So is this person. Why are people running?* Sheepy: Grif: --AAAAAA....!! YOUR DIALOGUE BOXES KEEP STOPPING ME! I HAVE THINGS TO PREPARE!!! AND A BEAST BROKE OUT OF ITS PRISON!! Sheepy: Palomides: ....Let's ignore this and focus on finding a fifth! Arsé-kun: *Lance ignores this advice* Arsé-kun: Lance: GRIIIIIIIFLET! Sheepy: Grif: LAAANCELOOOOOT! Arsé-kun: Lance: Aaaa! Sheepy: Grif: *he Berserker screams back to Lance. You okay, buddy?* Sheepy: Tristan: What are they saying? Arsé-kun: Lance: ▂▂▂▃▃▅▂?? Sheepy: Tristan: Secret event? Extra-terrestrial beasts coming from lakes? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Sir Griflet, why don't you join us? Perhaps we will find your beast as well as ours. Sheepy: Grif: AaaaAAAAA! Everyone keeps stopping me! AND THAT ONE! *he points at Palomides* IS AN UNAVOIDABLE SIDE QUEST! I'VE ALREADY GOT SO MUCH TO DO! Sheepy: Grif:....Uh? Sheepy: Grif: ...Fine, fine! Arsé-kun: *enkidu is doing the anime girl pose with both hands together and slightly against the face* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: How wonderful! That will be two hunts for us to do! Sheepy: Palomides:...Is nobody else concerned about the vibes he has? Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... 's normal. Sheepy: Grif: Fine, fine! Let's go, let's go! Sheepy: *Grif joined the party!* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That's five. Party is ready. Sheepy: Palomides: Let's begin the hunt! Sheepy: *Palomides starts leading the group to a forest!* Sheepy: Grif:......*huff*.......... Sheepy: Grif:.....So I didn't need to go find you to start the quest! Arsé-kun: *Lance pauses briefly to pick up a few rocks* Arsé-kun: Lance: Ex? Plain? Sheepy: Grif: I was just here! I was just here! Clearly, the issue was skipping that NPC over there! *he points to Proto* Arsé-kun: *Proto is sulking and trying not to itch a stab wound. Ol' dog on a log.* Sheepy: Grif: I need to go help Dad! And yet, and yet! That beast chooses now to break out! Horrible! Awful! I want to do the best job I can for Dad! Sheepy: Palomides: Why is there a man-dog? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That's Cu Chulainn (Prototype). Sheepy: Palomides: I don't know him. Sheepy: Tristan: Let's invite him. Sheepy: Palomides: Sir Tristan is always so inviting... Arsé-kun: Enkidu: A support member for a full six-member party would be encouraged. Go on ahead! Sheepy: *Tristan approaches Proto* Arsé-kun: *Proto ignores him* Sheepy: Tristan: Join us and you can gaze upon my beauty any time of day. *He flops over onto Proto's lap* Arsé-kun: *Proto pushes him off. Let him have his teenage angst, Tristan.* Sheepy: Tristan: Everything I do...even getting shoved off your lap...is beautiful. You can be included in this beauty for the small price of joining our team Sheepy: Grif: *Impatient noises* Sheepy: Palomides: Cu Chulainn (Prototype)! Will you assist us in slaying the Beast Galisant? Sheepy: Palomides: It's got the head of a serpent! The body of a leopard! The buttocks of a lion! The legs of a hart! Arsé-kun: Proto: ....? A wild beast, or a literal...? Sheepy: Palomides: Haah? A wild beast, of course. Whqt orher beast is there? Arsé-kun: Proto: Oh, I'm real good at fightin' those. Sheepy: Palomides: Please help us! Sheepy: Palomides: Humanity's life is at stake! Sheepy: Grif: And yours is too if you don't hurry up! Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 2 Arsé-kun: *Lance intends to lightly smack Grif. Lance failed from stress* Sheepy: Grif: Ugh! Arsé-kun: Lance: Aah! S-sorry..! ~~ Sheepy: Grif: Such strength...! How do you feel about competing in a Holy Grail War? They've gained popularity over thesee past few years. Arsé-kun: Lance: Nnnnn..! *he takes a step back* Not another..! Arsé-kun: *Proto... Joins the party in the meantime! Full party!* Sheepy: Grif: If you're feeling weak, visit the Grif Gacha! Good luck with your CE drops! Sheepy: Palomides: M-my quest isn't over yet and you're already shilling for your event?! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: One task at a time, everyone. Sheepy: Grif: Fine! Let's go! Sheepy: *Grif rushes ahead!* Sheepy: Palomides: W-wait! It's my quest...!!! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Let him go. He'll clear out some enemies for us. Sheepy: Palomides:...but if I did that, I'd look so cool in front of Sir Lancelot and Sir Tristan... Sheepy: Tristan: *snore* Arsé-kun: *aforementioned Lancelot has the aforementioned Tristan over his shoulder. Looking Cool Guys* Arsé-kun: Proto: That can't be that hard right now. Sheepy: *Palomides chases after Grif, using the trail of bodies as a guide!* Arsé-kun: *Bodies of.. What, exactly??* Sheepy: *Poor weak mob enemies that weren't expecting Grif* Arsé-kun: *Proto isn't happy about all the wolf and werewolf deaths he's seeing* Sheepy: Tristan: *he strums his harp, still half asleep* Bravely bold Sir Palo, rode forth from Camelot… Sheepy: Tristan: He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Palo… Arsé-kun: *Lance doesn't do anything to stop Tristan. He's worried that if he tries, he'll hurt Tristan. It's that kind of day.* Sheepy: Palomides: Normally, I’d appreciate the compliments, but I know where this ends! Thank Sir Bors for that! Arsé-kun: Lance: Ooouh? Bors is here as well? Sheepy: Palomides: Haven’t we all? Sheepy: Tristan: Hoho… Sir Bors…. That name reminds me of a funny story. Sheepy: Tristan: It’s a story that always makes Sir Bedivere laugh. Sheepy: Tristan: Of the time that Sir Bors was nearly slain by a rabbit. They memorialized this in the movie. Arsé-kun: Proto: Wait, that actually happened? The rabbit was real?? Sheepy: Tristan: It was. Arsé-kun: Proto: I almost feel bad for laughing now... Arsé-kun: *try not to laugh. fail step 1* Sheepy: Tristan: We all laugh at it. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I am interested about the creature in question. Was it truly a rabbit? Sheepy: Tristan: I wouldn’t know. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I see. I will have to look into this further. Sheepy: *Grif is waiting up ahead at a foresr clearing. Nothing seems to be there...* Arsé-kun: Lance: There you are..! Thank you for waiting! Sheepy: Grif: You're taking too long! Come, come! Bring the event flag closer! Arsé-kun: *Lance looks at Palomides* Sheepy: Palomides: ...? Sheepy: *Palomides enters the clearing after deciding it's best not to ask.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ..! Something's coming! Arsé-kun: *and into the clearing walks...! An ordinary giraffe. Literally just a giraffe, sniffing trees and eating leaf.* Arsé-kun: *[p4 boss music blares]* Sheepy: Palomides: The Beast Galisant! Sheepy: Grif: The [BOSS] has appeared. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Uh? Sheepy: Palomides: Isn't it horrifying?! Help me bind it so I can slay it! Sheepy: Grif: By the way, it's Foreigner. Work harder to compensate for your weakness, Lancelot! Arsé-kun: Lance: Aren't you also...?? Sheepy: Grif: Haha! My forte is slaying Threats tp Humanity! By the way, make sure to have some SQ spare! You'll be able to summon my Foreigner form for a limited time in the upcoming event! I'd recommend NP2! Or 5! Sheepy: Palomides: Stop shilling for your event during my epic boss fight!! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Perhaps I need to install an adblocker... Arsé-kun: Enkidu: But it IS a Foreigner! This isn't an ordinary Earth animal! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I will confirm the Threat to Humanity status when I use my Noble Phantasm! Sheepy: Palomides: Right! *he pulls out his lance* Let's do this! Arsé-kun: *Battle loads in. Final battle 1/1. 3 hp bars for the Beast Galisant. It barely fits on screen.* Sheepy: *Tristan, despite being the perfect servant for this because he's known for preventing his enemies from fleeing, is playing the battle music.* Sheepy: *Palomides runs to strike it!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 19 Arsé-kun: *the dreadful Beast Galisant looks at him, slowly winds up, and smacks him away with it's neck. beGONE, THOT* Sheepy: Palomides: *He skids across the ground before stopping* Oof...! Sheepy: *Palomides gets up and readies his lance once more* Sheepy: Palomides: If we can drop it in a lake, that would be perfect! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Why a lake, may I ask? *they pull out a chain and stand ready by Palomides* Sheepy: Palomides: It's how the Grail Trio immobilized it so I could get the kill! Sheepy: *Palomides lunges at the Beast Galisant once more!* Arsé-kun: *this hit connects!* Sheepy: Palomides: Great! We've managed to deal damage! Arsé-kun: *Enkidu shoots a chain at the Galisant, but it moves in time!* Sheepy: Palomides: It's fast...! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Surprisingly so! Sheepy: Palomides: *He tries to hit it once more!* Sheepy: *Palomides connected! He quickly backs off after doing damage!* Arsé-kun: *Proto is patiently waiting his turn to move in closer. Lancelot has.. Disappeared. Thanks, Lance.* Sheepy: *Palomides backs off and lets Proto have his turn!* Arsé-kun: *Proto pops all his skills at once, steals all the crit stars, and runs in with several 100% crits ready! Here it comes! Here comes the damage! Here it comes! Here it c-* Sheepy: *Tristan is way closer to rhe beast than he should be. He's sitting in the tree it was eating from. He's playing it a song. How nice.* Arsé-kun: *And cut back to combat to see Proto backing off to let Palomides back in. Gratuitous violence averted.* Sheepy: *Palomides takes the opportunity to attack once more. However, he has no crit stars!* Arsé-kun: *Palomides, an important question-- Why did you believe hunting down a boss at level one was a good idea? And how are you alive?* Sheepy: *It's his quest!* Sheepy: Palomides: Ugh...! Why don't I seem to be doing much...?! It must be stronger than before! *It seems he doesn't know what levels are.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ... Perhaps you should get a tutorial on the XP farming. It would be a great help in raising your level. Sheepy: Palomides:..... Arsé-kun: Enkidu: XP, a shortened version of the words "Experience points". There are little stars called Embers that boost our power, or levels. Sheepy: Palomides:.....I've never seen those... Sheepy: Palomides: Is that what Sir Bors wanted to show me...? Sheepy: Palomides: Can we defeat this beast? Arsé-kun: *The Beast Galisant has taken this time to... Eat more leaves. Menacing.* Arsé-kun: Proto: It's barely fighting back. Are we supposed to fight this? Sheepy: Palomides:..... Sheepy: Palomides: Well, um... Sheepy: Palomides: ...The issue is... have you heard of invasive species? Sheepy: Palomides: Like, let's say you brought rabbits to a place that didn't have rabbits. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ... ... I understand now. However, is this the proper course of action? Or does it only respond to you? Sheepy: Palomides: What else can I do? Sheepy: *Tristan is patting its nose from his perch. pat, pat* Arsé-kun: *Proto perks up because he heard something* Sheepy: Palomides: I can't just keep it as a pet, can I....? It's so large. Sheepy: Palomides: But it'll ruin the ecosystem! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: That would be a modern human weapon, otherwise known as a gun. Sheepy: Palomides: A gun! I've never heard of such a thing! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I'm sure Lancelot would love to educate you on the matter. Sheepy: Palomides: W-would he?! I'd love to learn! Sheepy: Tristan: Aren't you so soft. You feel pretty. Oh, if only I could see you. Arsé-kun: *A very brief cut to Lance, perched up in a distant tree with his sniper rifle, taking careful aim as to not hit Tristan by mistake. Griflet is there.* Sheepy: *Grif is watching Lance. He's learning.* Arsé-kun: *A gunshot rings out, and the shot most definitely connects! ...But instead of blowing the skull to smithereens like expected, it just left a small hole. his probably wouldn't even bother the beast, but it was enough to break the first HP bar. The Beast Galisant looks at the party.* Sheepy: Palomides: It's looking at us! Sheepy: Palomides: If we shouldn't kill it, what do we do...?! Arsé-kun: *It starts opening it's mouth. More. More. A little more than expected. A little too much. A bit more like a leech thAN ANYONE WOULD LIKE. UNCOMFORTABLY WIDE AND SPIKY. DON'T SCREAM ON TOP OF THAT!* Sheepy: Palomides: W-what?! Sheepy: Tristan: Are we singing....? Aaaa~ Sheepy: Palomides: I-it's only made barking noises before! Sheepy: *Grif leaves his perch finally and goes to dismember the giraffe while it's distracted!* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Threat to Humanity status confirmed! Sheepy: Palomides: M-maybe I don't want to kill it...but now, is it too late for such a thought?! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: It seems more upset than angry. I would allow an attempt, but Berserkers... Sheepy: Palomides:....Um, um.... what do I... Sheepy: Palomides: I'm sorrryyyy~! I thought you were a huge threat! Sheepy: Palomides:...well, you're huge... but... Sheepy: Palomides: You don't belong in this ecosystem! But I'll help you find your proper ecosystem! (Where does this thing even live usually?!) Sheepy: Palomides: So please don't break your jaw! Arsé-kun: *The Beast Galisant slowly lowers it's head to look at Palomides with its beady black eyes. Staaaaaare* Sheepy: *Palomides stares back nervously* Sheepy: Palomides: I'm sorry for attacking you. Arsé-kun: *This would go better if Griflet wasn't trying to break the Beast Galisant's legs (and succeeding), but it seems to be ignoring that. Instead, it turns and chomps down on... It's own backside?? 20k hp lost.* Sheepy: Palomides: E-eh?! Sheepy: Palomides: What is it...?! Arsé-kun: *Even Lance stops loading the next cartridge when he sees this. What?* Sheepy: *Grif is oblivious.* Arsé-kun: *20k hp lost. 20k hp lost. 21k hp lost because Grif got a crit. 20k hp lost.* Sheepy: Palomides: What should I do?! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: It's upset about something, but it isn't us..! Sheepy: Palomides: Are you okay?! I don't think biting yourself is a good idea! Sheepy: *Grif is continuing to attack it.* Arsé-kun: *The Beast Galisant finally pays him heed, and lowers itself to the ground so Grif can hit the actually open wound instead. It has a plan of some kind. It can Think.* Sheepy: *Grif grunts, nods, and starts aiming for the open wound* Arsé-kun: *proto's chewing a stick in the background while watching this. confusion, stress, what happened to the normal beast hunt?* Sheepy: *Grif suddenly tosses his sword to the side before reaching into the beast.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Berserker, what on Earth are you doing?! Sheepy: *Grif pulls something out of it!* Arsé-kun: *ENHANCE IMAGE! ZOOM IN WITH THE SCOPE!* Sheepy: *Palomides looks at the thing pulled out of the beast.* Arsé-kun: *it's bloody, that's for sure.* Sheepy: Grif: ...Hold on a moment. Sheepy: *Grif starts rubbing it on his cape* Sheepy: Palomides: What is that thing...? A parasite? The beast's child? Something else...? ...Uuugh...I feel like I'm going to be sick... Sheepy: Tristan: It's red. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... We can observe that. Thank you, Tristan. *he rejoins the group, but is still using the sniper's scope for a better look at it. no fingers on the trigger. that's bad gun safety if you do that* Sheepy: Grif: Now then. Is your quest completed? *he holds it up to his face level* Is that all you wanted? Arsé-kun: *It's... Something? It's still filthy, but it's animal-shaped? Maybe??* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... I can use the [Bucket]. It stores [Water]. It's a good way to get clean. Sheepy: Palomides: Sir... Sir G-Griflet... what is that... Arsé-kun: *Proto pulls a canteen off his belt and offers it to Griflet* Sheepy: Grif: What? You were hunting it and you didn't even know what it was? *he accepts the canteen and starts cleaning the creature* Thank you. Sheepy: Grif: It's the Beast. Sheepy: Palomides: That's ... that's not.... Arsé-kun: Enkidu: .... I cannot match it to anything in my records. Sheepy: *Grif continues cleaning it* Sheepy: Grif: It's a foreign creature. Sheepy: Grif: Not from Earth. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I... I see. I will save this information immediately. Sheepy: Palomides: S-so...what was the... Sheepy: Palomides: The big thing....? Sheepy: Grif: Meat suit. Sheepy: Palomides:............... Sheepy: Palomides:....but it was eating.... Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Like an outer shell? Of a Boss' first stage, and then it opens for the next fight? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: You're looking much better already. Arsé-kun: *Grif is now holding a little white, wet thing. It is definitely furry.* Sheepy: Palomides: It's... Sheepy: Palomides: It's fuzzy... Sheepy: Palomides: It looks cute... Arsé-kun: *the miniature Beast Galisant sniffs towards Palomides, and stretches out a single paw. tuch.* Sheepy: Palomides: So cute....! I-I mean...! Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I agree entirely. It is almost on par with Fou in terms of how cute humans may find it to be. Sheepy: Palomides: *he hesitantly reaches out and touches its head* Sheepy: Palomides: It's so soft... Arsé-kun: *The Galisant pats Palomides' chest with it's paw. Something has changed!* Sheepy: Palomides: I feel....tingly...and different? Arsé-kun: Enkidu: A change of traits has been recognized. Sheepy: Palomides: Huh? Sheepy: Palomides: Did it do something...? Arsé-kun: Proto: Oh! Oh! I know! *he raises his hand like he's in class* I think I know! Sheepy: Palomides: Huh? Arsé-kun: Proto: Interludes upgrade skills! Usually that's it, but you never know! Sheepy: Palomides: So the Beast upgraded my skill? Arsé-kun: Proto: Yeah! That's probably it! Sheepy: Palomides: Thank you, Beast...! Is that what I should call you...? Arsé-kun: Lance: La bête Galisant. Arsé-kun: Proto: is Galisant not it's name? Sheepy: Palomides: That's what everyone calls it. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I've registered it as Galisant, Wild Beast, Foreigner. We can update that once we return to Chaldea. Sheepy: Palomides: Right... Okay, Galisant! *he gently lifts it up* Let's go to Chaldea. Sheepy: Palomides: I can introduce you to Bors. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Sir Griflet, what about your quest? Sheepy: Grif: It's completed. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Oh. Was it the same in the end? Sheepy: Grif: Or course. Sheepy: Grif: It's no surprise. The quest was created because the beast appeared thanks to Palomides being summoned. Arsé-kun: Lance: That makes sense... Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Are we forgetting something? Arsé-kun: Lance: ..... Right. *he turns back to retrieve Tristan.* Sheepy: Tristan: *he strums his harp* How sad... Sheepy: Tristan: At the end of the day, there were no serpents, leopards, lions, nor harts... Sheepy: Palomides: Sir Tristan... you never helped... why are you complaining? Sheepy: Tristan: Of course not. Even one attack from me would outshine your many. After all, you're level 1. I could not dim my friend's spotlight. Sheepy: Palomides:...Friend... you see me as a...Hold up! You stole my girlfriend! You also regularly stole my worship! Sheepy: Tristan: I was hoping you'd forget. Arsé-kun: Lance: As if any of us could forget. Sheepy: Tristan: You wound me! Arsé-kun: Lance: I considered shooting you to get you out of the way.... I couldn't do it. Sheepy: Tristan: Wh...what? Arsé-kun: Lance: You almost got bitten by... Uh. Whhhhatever that was. Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, ohh...! Not even Sir Lancelot loves me! What were those moments we had, if not love? *sob* Arsé-kun: Lance: I didn't do it! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, ohh...! Not even Sir Lancelot loves me! What were those moments we had, if not love? *sob* Sheepy: Tristan:...Oh, yes, that's right. Arsé-kun: *Lance is pouting. You can't see this, of course. Helmet.* Sheepy: Tristan: How sad, how sad... Arsé-kun: Lance: *pout, pout* Sheepy: Tristan: I didn't even get to show my companion my great hunting skills... Arsé-kun: Lance: You weren't even watching me, either.. Sheepy: Tristan:.... Sheepy: Tristan:.... Sheepy: Tristan: *he just opens his dull, glassy eyes and stares at Lancelot* Arsé-kun: Lance: ....... Right. Shhhhutting up.. Sheepy: Tristan: If only I could look upon Sir Lancelot's face once more... Sheepy: Tristan: Although, I heard from Sir Gawain that he's reminiscent of a baby bird. Arsé-kun: Lance: ...... Uh. Nnnn.. Sheepy: Tristan: It's the hair, he says. Messy. Arsé-kun: Lance: Spiky. Very short. I tried it out for a while. I..... Didn't like it. Sheepy: Tristan: Like a hedgehog... Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Not exactly. A hedgehog is able to use their spines for self-defense. Saber Lancelot's hair offers no such advantages. Sheepy: Grif: It's an assault on the eyes. My menu shows him as having a unique passive... Sheepy: Grif: [Bad Hair Day - Slight reduction in the accuracy of the opponent]. Arsé-kun: *Enkidu leans over to peer at Grif's menu* Sheepy: *The menu is in characters that definitely aren't English.* Arsé-kun: Enkidu: ... I cannot identify this language. What is it? Sheepy: Grif: It's... Yes, I've instinctually always known it... Sheepy: Palomides: ...There's two Lancelots? Arsé-kun: Lance: mmmmmm-hm. Sheepy: Palomides: Amazing! You really are special! Arsé-kun: Lance: ✧*｡٩(ˊ ᗜ ˋ *)و✧*｡ Sheepy: Grif:...However. Sheepy: Grif: It seems that being filthy and generally undesirable is desirable to humans. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: This is true. I am unsure of the reason. I personally find it absurd. Maybe it's a stupid defect. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: This I'll have to ask around about, but it's a really common thing I think. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... With your assistance... Sheepy: Grif: ...I will become another desirable side character who is incapable of being summoned due to flimsy plot reasons. Arsé-kun: Lance: You were already summoned. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. However... Sheepy: Tristan: Ah.. Arsé-kun: Proto: Does anyone know where we're going? Sheepy: Tristan: How lucky am I, that my closest companion is here twice... Sheepy: Palomides: No... Sheepy: Palomides: I'm lost. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Don't worry. We are on the way back. Arsé-kun: *They manage to get back! Palomides is there because Lance invited him. Getting Chaldea to analyze the Galisant can wait.* Sheepy: Tristan: How sad... I didn't get a gift... Sheepy: Eiji: I-I'm sorry. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Yes you did. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes...every day with my companion is a gift. Arsé-kun: *Lance fingerguns, realizes the issue, and grunts an agreement* Sheepy: Tristan: Even today. Especially today. When I failed to look cool, you stuck by me anyway... Arsé-kun: *Lance does not mention that he was easily over a mile away, in a tree, with a sniper rifle.* Sheepy: Eiji: W-what were you doing...? Arsé-kun: Lance: Hunting a beast. Thought it was a giraffe. It... Wasn't. Sheepy: Eiji: Giraffe...th-that was an...an answer t-to a riddle earl...earlier. Arsé-kun: *Merlin busts thru a door like MOM HOLY FUCK. you know the meme* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I found it! And I didn't cheat once! Sheepy: Eiji:?! Arsé-kun: *Merlin holds out a giftwrapped box. It has butterflies on it. Ah. We now know who Satoru's accomplice was.* Sheepy: Eiji: Y-you found it...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He moved it to under his bed, sir! Would you like me to open it for you? Sheepy: Eiji: Yes, th-thank you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I was hoping you'd say that! *and he excitedly rips the wrapping paper off. local cambion has fun where he can* Sheepy: *Eiji watches* Arsé-kun: *Merlin presents him with the contents! It's a plush mothman holding a single flower. It definitely isn't new, but the idea stands. I guess?* Sheepy: Eiji: It's cute...! *he's pleased!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin is pleased that Eiji is pleased!* Sheepy: Eiji: It's, um... Sheepy: Eiji:...a fish? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he turns it towards himself to figure it out* It's Mothman! It's always a pleasure to meet mothman! Sheepy: Bedi: *He pops out from behind Merlin. When did you enter?* Mothmen are edible under certain circumstances. They're best eaten roasted. Sheepy: Eiji:...the name rings a bell, but that concerns me. Sheepy: Bedi: They're packed full of nutrition. They're a great find when living in the wilderness. Arsé-kun: *Merlin places the box on Bedi's head. You Stop That* Sheepy: Bedi: *muffled* By the way, even if you're starving, you shouldn't eat mushrooms without knowing which are edible and which aren't. Early on in my journey, I ate some out of starvation, and I felt fine until they began to demand back their bretheren I had just consumed... Really, their cries still ring in my ears... Sheepy: Bedi:...Really, I saw a cabbage that smelled similar to them once... Oh, yes. It would apparently scream when boiled... Arsé-kun: Angra: *from a room away* DON'T DO SCHOOL, GO TO DRUGS! *he's kidding, of course. maybe* Sheepy: Bedi:...Which I suppose most creatures would, other than crabs and lobsters, who have no vocal cords... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... So a mandrake? Sheepy: Bedi: Is that what they're called? Sheepy: Eiji:..plants don't have vocal cords either. Sheepy: Bedi: That's not true.. Sheepy: Eiji: Th-that's... not normal... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Correct! Mandrakes don't have vocal cords! They release chemicals that cause a tightening of cellular mass, which makes that weird noise! Sheepy: Bedi: Really? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eeyup! Sheepy: Bedi: You really know everything. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That sound hurts! I don't recommend using them unless you have to! Sheepy: Bedi: I still remember the one I ate... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ANYWAY! Arsé-kun: *Merlin whips around to fingergun at Palomides* Sheepy: Palomides: You never got it fixed... Arsé-kun: Merlin: :) ? Sheepy: *Palomides points slightly above Merlin's head* Sheepy: Palomides: Everyone can see them, you know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're still the only one able to see that, buddy-o! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Look, I'll even prove it! *he bends down so Palomides can pat the floof we call Merlin's hair* Try to impale yourself, bud! Sheepy: Palomides: Are you sure? I watched Sir Griflet apparently perceive this in its true form. *he holds up Galisant* Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's... Let's leave Grif out of this for a moment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And who's this little fella? *he knows already.* Sheepy: Palomides: The Beast Galisant. Sheepy: Bedi: By the way, from human standards, it isn't edible. Make sure not to eat it, Master Eiji! Sheepy: Eiji:....Th-the th...thought never crossed...crossed my mind. Arsé-kun: Galisant: *sneef, sneeeef* y'kadishtu nafl.. ((TL: I understand not..)) Sheepy: Bedi: Gesundheit. Sheepy: Palomides:...Anyway, it was inside the beast. Sheepy: Palomides: If only I could unsee that scene... Sheepy: Tristan: I can and have. Sheepy: Palomides: You never saw it to begin with! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Keep up with that sass Tristan, and I'll restore your vision on you! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, to see Sir Lancelot's face again... to gaze into his eyes...to...ki...eep him updated on the married women I have seen... Sheepy: Tristan:...Sounds like a dream that someone such as I is undeserving of... Arsé-kun: *Lance makes a Noise™* Sheepy: Tristan: How sad! Sheepy: Tristan: I hear he looks like a hedgehog. Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, yes. Sheepy: Tristan: According to conversation I heard earlier, Sir Bors is around. Did you know that? Sheepy: Palomides: I told you and Sir Lancelot this. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I didn't! I wasn't there! Sheepy: Tristan: I wonder where I heard this from. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi! We should visit Bors when we have free time! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! I agree! Arsé-kun: *Merlin stands up and leans in to look at Galisant. it is baby* Sheepy: Tristan: I would like to see him, too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You'd like to hear from him, you mean. Sheepy: Tristan: Yes... Sheepy: Tristan: He doesn't write, he doesn't call.. Sheepy: Bedi: You have a phone? Sheepy: Tristan: No. Arsé-kun: Galisant: hai'ep’ai. ((TL: Then call.)) Sheepy: Tristan: Does he have a number? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd assume so. Sheepy: Tristan: By the way, my number is 555-874-7826. Sheepy: Bedi: But you just said... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Tristan's a liar. But that number is... *he checks his own phone* Yeah, that's right! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll give it a shot for shits and giggles! Pardon me! *he steps out to make a call* Sheepy: Tristan: Oh. He really did it despite my hidden message... Arsé-kun: *the Galisant sneezes* Sheepy: Tristan: That number...is not Bors. In fact, it's probably the opposite to Bors. After all... Sheepy: Tristan: The number is Not Bors. Arsé-kun: *muffled angra cackling* Sheepy: Tristan: How sad... Sheepy: Tristan: Now he is stuck, talking to someone he doesn't know... Arsé-kun: *Lance has faceplanted into a nearby sofa. how classy sir lancelot* Arsé-kun: *Merlin is chatting animatedly in the other room with whoever he ended up on the line with.* Sheepy: Tristan: He got lucky, it seems... Arsé-kun: *Angra detects The Plot™! Angra comes in just to eavesdrop. A menace* Arsé-kun: Merlin: --- No, no, a detective solves crimes! He's not gonna kill you, bud! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Yeah, they do that sometimes! Sheepy: *Tristan joins Angra.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I highly doubt that! They're more interested in figuring out a recent crime. It's possible, but unlikely, that your Master got framed for it. Arsé-kun: Angra: *quietly* detectives are just thieves that are lawful good. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd love to believe you! But okay, I'll tell the Lancelots you're alive! They'd like to hear that! Arsé-kun: *Lance picks his head back up. who talkin bout he* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Of course! I'll let you get back to whatever you're up to, tell the detective to leave you alone on grand wizard's orders, and maybe I'll swing by when I got time! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's not visiting if I don't come indoors! All right, see you later, you brave lionfish! Arsé-kun: *after a few moments, Merlin trots back in sporting a big grin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: So Tristan! I bet you didn't expect that to be useful! Sheepy: Tristan: I didn't... I was kidding. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, I certainly didn't get Bors! Sheepy: Tristan: So... You got Bors's opposite... Srob. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No! I got Lionel! Sheepy: Tristan: Oh, so you got Bors's opposite. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, Lio..! *he sits back up* Sheepy: Tristan: There is? Arsé-kun: Merlin: So I checked out where he was! He was being bothered by a singular Mr. Holmes, and we know where he went today! Sheepy: Tristan: You might. Sheepy: Tristan: But I don't. Sheepy: Bedi:...Maybe....he got lost...? No, that isn't like Holmes... Arsé-kun: Merlin: He went with Lupin to investigate the Kidd residence! The adult one! Sheepy: Bedi: There's absolutely no way any of us would answer one of their calls...right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't know. He claimed to have not seen any villainy at all, and that his master does what he can to make everyone happy. This will warrant more investigation. Sheepy: Bedi: He could be the servant of one of the grunts. Arsé-kun: Merlin: True! We know that many of them worked the job purely because they needed the income. Arsé-kun: Angra: Announcement! I got a gut feeling and I gotta say it-- Fuck that guy in specific! Sheepy: Bedi: What? Lionel? Arsé-kun: Angra: Somethin' about the idea of that guy gives me the willies. Like he's some sorta creepazoid, 'cept he ain't. Sheepy: Bedi: Sure, he's a little...um... He's unique, but he isn't really... well... Sheepy: Bedi:....Well, it's important to give people like him the benefit of the doubt. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmmm. I thought Avenger would get along with him.. Arsé-kun: Angra: Oh, I'll get along with him.... I'll bring some Friendmakers when I meet him. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, how wonderful! Baked goods really are the best way to make friends! Arsé-kun: Angra: If a kitchen doesn't have Friendmakers, is it really a kitchen? Arsé-kun: *... These two are on totally different pages.* Sheepy: Tristan: He's an even larger fan of Sir Lancelot than I am... Sheepy: Tristan:...Somehow. Arsé-kun: *Lance seems excited!* Sheepy: Bedi: Hopefully, we can see him soon! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Here, lemme send him a picture! *he turns the camera on and intends to take a selfie* Get in here! Sheepy: *Tristan comes over. Tristan goes past where he's supposed to stand. Tristan keeps going.* Sheepy: Tristan: I'm ready. Arsé-kun: *Merlin just swivels a bit so Tristan's in frame. issue solved* Sheepy: *Bedi enters the frame!* Arsé-kun: *Lance enters frame and takes his helmet off!* Sheepy: Palomides: ...Man, do I gotta? That guy's a total creep. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... Yes. Sheepy: Palomides: If I have to...! *he joins* Arsé-kun: *Merlin takes the picture! ...Angra photobombed at the last second, so there's a funny black blur behind everyone. thanks angra. we appreciate it a lot.* Sheepy: Bedi: Even Angra got to be in it! That's wonderful! Arsé-kun: *Angra's happy because Bedi's happy that Angra was in it! Merlin's happy because of all the free food!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin sends the picture!* Sheepy: Palomides: Man... Those eyes of his... That grin of his... Arsé-kun: Lance: shut Sheepy: Palomides: Well! Have you ever been trying to sleep and he's been picked as your roommate? And then he turns to you while you're trying to sleep and says... Sheepy: Palomides: "By the way! I just remembered this funny story about Sir Lancelot!" Sheepy: Palomides: And then he tells you something that isn't at all funny and is moreso just distressing? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes! I just torment him by telling stories back. We... Didn't sleep much those nights! Sheepy: Palomides: One time, it was about Sir Lancelot taking an arrow to his buttocks and nearly losing in a joust thanks to it... Sheepy: Palomides: How can you handle that...? Arsé-kun: *Lance VERY hurriedly slams his helmet back on to hide his face* Arsé-kun: *Lance's face turns bright red, and it's still visible despite his attempts to hide it. Merlin will be well fed for the week.* Sheepy: Tristan: I recall this. Oh, yes. I heard it from Sir Gawain. Sheepy: Tristan: Once Sir Gawain hears a secret, everyone knows of it. Arsé-kun: *Lance returns to the background, and buries his face into the couch cushions.* Sheepy: *Holmes enters, dragging behind him a bearded man who's foaming at the mouth* Arsé-kun: *Followed by Lupin and his arms full of documents* Sheepy: Holmes: We have information. Sheepy: Bedi:...And rabies, from the look of it. Arsé-kun: Lupin: There's a good reason you're told not to look into the abyss. Sheepy: Bedi: How frightening... Arsé-kun: Merlin: So how was being a robber? Sheepy: Holmes: Entertaining, other than him summoning things from my memory that I would rather not see. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good thing I wasn't lookin' at you two then, huh? Sheepy: Holmes: Are you ready for what we've learned? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Always. Should we get a full classroom for your presentation? Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, if you'd like. Arsé-kun: *Merlin whips out a megaphone. Item Construction C* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *making sure to face away from Eiji* Attention, K-Mart shoppers! We've got info on the grail mud case on aisle two, floor one! Sheepy: Cu: OI! SHADDU-- Waiti, wait! *he pops his head out* You got info on those mud cases? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *putting the megaphone down* That's what I said! Sheepy: Cu: Alright! Spit it out, then! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're not the entire crowd! Sit down and wait like everyone else! Sheepy: *Cu huffs and sits before pausing* Sheepy: Cu:..Oi, this better not be like how people tell dogs ro sit! Sheepy: Emiya: As if you would even listen. *he sits in a chair backwards* Arsé-kun: *Angra tips his own chair too far back. Surprisingly, he survives it.* Arsé-kun: Andersen: ... *he sees the bearded man* ... Can I use that megaphone for a moment? Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, of course, go ahead. Arsé-kun: *Hans takes it from Merlin* Arsé-kun: Andersen: *into the megaphone* William Shakespeare is finally fucking dead. Thank you. Sheepy: Holmes: I thought you were friens? Arsé-kun: Andersen: We are. Arsé-kun: *everyone who cares is slowly filtering in, meanwhile* Sheepy: Holmes: Well, unfortunately, he looked at something he shouldn't have. Arsé-kun: Andersen: That was my next question. I was hoping to get a response out of him with that. Sheepy: Holmes: He gazed into the darkness. The darkness gazed back. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ah, your pal made a guest appearance. That makes sense. Sheepy: Holmes: Oh, are we ready? Arsé-kun: Minako: Give it to us straight, Detective! Sheepy: Holmes: Today, Lupin and I visited Arryn's home. We discovered the identity of one of his servants: William Shakespeare, who we now have taken custody of, as you can see. Arsé-kun: *Lupin hands Holmes some paperwork* Sheepy: Holmes: However, he has more than just Shakespeare on his side. One of his servants is noted as being able to create mud... This is most likely a servant who was spotted once before, setting fire to Lupin's master's home: Maxwell's Demon. Arsé-kun: Lupin: What's weird about that is that creating mud isn't something he can normally do. At least, according to some of this paperwork. Arsé-kun: Lupin: Like where the mud is coming from initially. I'll try to go through some of the shipping documents, but it'll take a while. Sheepy: Holmes: Unfortunately, he doesn't have the True Names of his servants listed. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I know one from coincidence- Sir Lionel, a round table knight. Sheepy: Holmes: I did stumble upon him, yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So I heard Sheepy: Holmes: He didn't get in our way. He seemed more interested in our clothes than anything. At this time, I can't say whose Servant he is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not sure either. Lionel insisted his master was good. Sheepy: Holmes: Based on his implied motives from the paperwork... I can't imagine anyone seeing Arryn as good. Sheepy: Holmes: Really, it's one thing using the moon as a bullet. Arsé-kun: Lupin: On the other hand, I can. He was respected as a mayor for years before this, and he never did anything publically evil. Sheepy: Holmes: Do you know anything about him from when you possessed him? Sheepy: Holmes: For example, his thoughts? His feelings? His motives...? Arsé-kun: Lupin: Back then I honestly didn't feel any malice. Something changed between then and now. Arsé-kun: *Enkidu raises their hand and patiently waits* Sheepy: Holmes: And something else that's different between then and now is.... Oh, Enkidu. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Were you two followed back by anything? Sheepy: Holmes: Not that I noticed. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Then what is it that's here? Sheepy: Holmes:....What? Sheepy: Satoru: Grandpa, Grandpa. *where did he come from?* Arsé-kun: Mori: ... What were you doing outside without supervision? Sheepy: Satoru: It's okay. I had supervision outside. I made a new friend. Sheepy: Satoru: He's a skull kitty. He's really tall. He seems nice. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Signal fading. *they sigh hard enough to make an anime mushroom cloud* Arsé-kun: *GENERAL CONCERN?* Sheepy: Satoru: He was worried about his friend. Sheepy: Holmes: So Arryn has a servant with Presence Concealment on his side. Arsé-kun: Lupin: I didn't even notice anyone outside. It has to be a high ranking servant. Sheepy: Satoru: I wanted to invite him inside. Sheepy: Satoru: He was shy. Sheepy: Satoru: Next time I'll bring him a snack. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... Please don't go out alone. Sheepy: Satoru: But the kitty looked lonely. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: Until we can determine who the servant was, please keep at least six feet away from them. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Holmes:...What was I saying earlier...? Arsé-kun: Mori: About Arynn's motives changing. Sheepy: Holmes: Sakura. About Masato. About when did his behavior begin to change? Arsé-kun: Saku: Hmm... A few months after Satoru was born. We thought it was just stress from being a new parent at first. Sheepy: Holmes: Hm... Sheepy: Holmes: And James is older than Satoru... Arsé-kun: Lupin: I don't think my son is involved. At least, I certainly hope not. Sheepy: Holmes: And Juve revealed that Masato smelled like Fantomas. Sheepy: Holmes: So my theory is... Arsé-kun: Lupin: That you can't tell us now. Sheepy: Holmes: Similar to Lupin with Arryn, Fantomas is using Masato as a vessel. Using the trust that Masato built up with Arryn previously, he's manipulating Arryn into acts of evil. Arsé-kun: Lupin: I'm not feeling it. That would imply Arryn is a good person still, and we've seen some of what's going on firsthand. Sheepy: Holmes: Hm... Arsé-kun: Lupin: What sorta good person would have a child kidnapped to summon a force of evil? Sheepy: Holmes: I don't think he's a good person anymore. Sheepy: Holmes: Well, the theory is a work in progress. Arsé-kun: Mori: I'm more surprised you gave us a theory at all, Mister Not Sharing Until It's Convenient. Sheepy: Holmes: I considered not sharing it, but I wasn't sure if I'd live that long. Sheepy: Holmes: Who knows. Mr. Kitty might find it best suited for me to bury me in a litter box. Arsé-kun: *Merlin reads the mood successfully and puts his hand up. He's got something to say.* Sheepy: Holmes: Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd like to point out we're missing a specific Avenger that likes doing things himself. Sheepy: Holmes:.....There's no way he went out there to face an unknown foe. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, it's gonna be a little hard to explain him being six feet under otherwise. Sheepy: Satoru: Is Mr. Cuddledud okay? Sheepy: Holmes: Wh-what...?! Arsé-kun: *Merlin stares at the wall. Clairvoyance activated, retrieving playback. vision mode active* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... He got completely blindsided. Sheepy: Holmes: We need to bring him back inside. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... *he squints* Either I'm misunderstanding what I witnessed, or we're going to have one hell of a problem if we need to fight that servant. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .......... We aren't going to talk about this right now. *he looks bothered, even as he looks away from the wall* We need a secondary meeting, Sherlock. Privately. Sheepy: Holmes: Right. I'll come into your room. Arsé-kun: Merlin: To whoever wants to fetch our fallen Avenger- Please wait a few minutes. The other servant might not be gone yet. Sheepy: Satoru: He's going to get cold. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... He's got his cape. He should be all right for a couple of minutes. Sheepy: Satoru: Okay. Sheepy: Satoru: He should be alive soon anyway. Arsé-kun: *Andersen is prodding his friend with a suspiciously gae-bulg shaped stick* Sheepy: Shakespeare: ...Ouugh... Last thing I remember... Oh, yes, detective robbers! I should use that as an idea-- Sheepy: *Shakespeare realizes where he is.* Sheepy: Shakespeare:...Ohoh! Looks like I'm in trouble! Arsé-kun: Andersen: It lives! Arsé-kun: Andersen: How'd you get rabies, you hack? Sheepy: Shakespeare: A playwright taking the fall for his boss really is the worst tragedy I could think of! ...What? Rabies? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Rabid knights aren't something new. Arsé-kun: *lance will remember this* Sheepy: Shakespeare: I've always wanted to use one as comic relief. Arsé-kun: Andersen: It's real easy, since the idea of a rabid knight is ironic. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Anyway... I see, I see! You have abducted me to make me tell you a story, hm? Now, usually I get paid for this, but seeing as I have no other choice... You can pay me by sparing my life! Arsé-kun: Lupin: Wasn't the intent, but I'll take what I can get. Arsé-kun: Angra: Amen to that! Sheepy: Shakespeare: Now then, speak, and tell me what you would wish to know! Arsé-kun: Mori: Dear William. *he squats down next to Shakespeare* Is it your Master that's been causing us so many problems lately? Sheepy: Shakespeare: Now, why would he do something like that? However... Arsé-kun: Acu: This one is worthless. Permission to destroy this offense to my eyes? Sheepy: Shakespeare: Now, now! Let's not be hasty. Sheepy: Shakespeare: You could use me as a bartering chip! Arsé-kun: Mori: I no longer want to use you as a hostage purely because you said it. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Oho? Aren't I the epitome of a trustworthy fellow? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Only when I look like a legal adult. Sheepy: Shakespeare: But what you need is to be able to get into contact with him, is it not? Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies, but you smell like Sir Holmes. I'm not sure that I can trust you... Arsé-kun: Mori: ... I'm willing to take the bait. Holmes? Sheepy: Holmes: Insults from Sir Bedivere aside, I feel that it's our only choice. Arsé-kun: Mori: ... We'll play your game, William. But one question first. Sheepy: Shakespeare: What is it? Arsé-kun: Mori: Your Master has four servants, yes? Sheepy: Shakespeare: Oho... so you've figured that much out. Sheepy: Shakespeare: He does currently have four servants at his disposal. Arsé-kun: Mori: We know of three. Would the last be an Assassin, by any chance? Sheepy: Shakespeare: It would be, yes. Arsé-kun: Mori: That's what I thought. That's all I wanted to ask. Arsé-kun: *merlin has opted to just text holmes the info he wanted to share.* Arsé-kun: *it's concerning* Sheepy: *Holmes looks concerned.* Arsé-kun: *i'd fucking hope so* Arsé-kun: Mori: Certainly. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Oh, yes. I just remembered something that could help you on your search. Sheepy: Shakespeare: I could tell you of his usual haunts. For example... were you aware that he's a big fan of the spaghetti place at the nearby mall? Lio always takes his bread when he isn't looking. Arsé-kun: Minako: Malls are always where shit goes wrong... Like zombies and killer robots! I'm game! Sheepy: Shakespeare: Good choice, good choice! Sheepy: Shakespeare: Now then... his number! Sheepy: Shakespeare: *He states Arryn's number* Arsé-kun: *Mori writes it down* Arsé-kun: Andersen: Now that we're done with that... Do you think a teenager failing to get money on GoFundMe is equal to a homeless girl not getting money on the side of the road? I need this for adaptation reasons. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Hmm.. Sheepy: Shakespeare: No. Arsé-kun: Andersen: Drat. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Most people would not beg on the side of the road due to how harsh it can be... Arsé-kun: Andersen: But it isn't as relatable anymore. Sheepy: Shakespeare: But anyone can set up a GoFundMe with ease and make up any sort of story rhey please about why they deserve your money, even if they secretly have a full paying job. Arsé-kun: Andersen: True.... Sheepy: Shakespeare: Hmhm...what could be more relatable...? Let us think on it! Sheepy: Bedi:...What's a GoFundMe? Arsé-kun: Angra: A website poor people use to try and get money! It don't work most of the time, so why bother? Sheepy: Bedi: ..... Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies for such an...ignorant question, but... Sheepy: Bedi:...How do you give people money over the internet? A fax machine...? Arsé-kun: Angra: a what?? Sheepy: Bedi: It's a miraculous device that teleports pages from one household to another! If even leaves a copy for you! Sheepy: Bedi: It's pure magic! Arsé-kun: Angra: .... Allllllright. I didn't spend time possessing a total tech-geek to hear some shit like that, Spenta! Sheepy: Bedi: ...Hm...? Is that not right...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Electricity, Bedi. You keep forgetting about that. Sheepy: Bedi: And now I find that it's nothing more than a machine... Arsé-kun: Angra: It's in the damn name!! Sheepy: Bedi:...Oh, yes... However... Arsé-kun: *Merlin, moronsexual,* Sheepy: Bedi: The red panda is no panda. It is a raccoon. Sheepy: Bedi: The horseshoe crab is no crab. It's closer to spiders or scorpions. Arsé-kun: Angra: And all of the above are edible if you're desperate enough! Sheepy: Bedi: The titmouse is no mouse. It's a bird. Arsé-kun: Angra: it doesn't even have tits! Sheepy: Bedi: Just because it contains a word doesn't make it the word it contains.. Sheepy: Bedi: You know, Sir Lancelot mainly uses swords, but he has also used lances a lot. Sheepy: Bedi: However, I doubt Shakespeare has ever used a spear. Arsé-kun: Lance: *still muffled from his helmet and also the sofa cushions* why Arsé-kun: Andersen: Here, take this. *he offers Shakes the gae bulg. whichever one this is* Sheepy: Bedi: You don't choose your destiny! Your destiny chooses you! Sheepy: *Shakespeare takes it and shakes it* Arsé-kun: Angra: the prophecy. Arsé-kun: Angra: wilt, the shak'n speare Sheepy: Bedi: Amazing! To see a prophecy unfold before me...! How moving! *Unlike Angra, he's totally genuine.* Arsé-kun: *.... No one corrects him. Merlin gon act up* Sheepy: Satoru: Wow. Sheepy: Satoru: I wonder how it feels, to be Cu Chu-type dead in the snow. Sheepy: Satoru: Alone. Afraid. Unloved. Arsé-kun: Proto: I got it! I'll get it! Sheepy: Satoru: With only a cuddledud as protection from the frigid cold... Sheepy: Satoru: Is it sad? Hopeless? Empty? Arsé-kun: *Proto runs out of the room... And comes back holding the collar connecting side of a leash* Sheepy: Satoru: Would one grow to hate humanity, for the role that they played? Would they curse life for being so unfair? Would they cry and moan, praying that someone would hear them and have the heart to save them? Arsé-kun: Angra: Sometimes! It really depends on the Avenger! Sheepy: *Lobo grabs the leash and starts pulling on it* Arsé-kun: *And Proto gets taken for a walk by the King Wolf. All according to Keikaku* Sheepy: Satoru: Do you hate humanity? Arsé-kun: Angra: Humans suck! But that's okay! I was one of those once! Sheepy: Satoru: I wasn't. Arsé-kun: Angra: Then what are you, huh, Master? Sheepy: Satoru: I'm Satoru. Arsé-kun: Angra: Master Satoru, with all due respect! Sheepy: Satoru: I don't like humans, either. It's okay. Arsé-kun: Angra: Huh... Well, I get that! Sheepy: Shakespeare: Now, where should I stay until I am allowed to return? Sheepy: Shakespeare: It will feel strange, not having to deal with convincing Lio to eat properly and at the dinner table instead of snacking throughout the day on junk, thus ruining his appetite... Sheepy: Shakespeare: "Bors isn't here to make me eat right, so you can't either!" Arsé-kun: Andersen: Speaking of which- We're late for out writer's diet of coffee and nothing else. Sheepy: Shakespeare: I can have some coffee? Really? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Why not? It's not like you commit a crime. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Well, I am a hostage. Arsé-kun: Lupin: I'll be honest with you there, that wasn't the intent. Sheepy: Shakespeare: What? Really? Arsé-kun: Lupin: Really. If the last thing you remember is us showing up, then you're missing a fair bit. Sheepy: Shakespeare: That is all I remember! Arsé-kun: Lupin: Lucky you. Sheepy: *Holmes has disappeared meanwhile.* Sheepy: *Holmes enters with Dantes.* Sheepy: Holmes: I made the call. Arsé-kun: Minako: Yeah? Sheepy: Shakespeare: Oho! So I really am a hostage! Sheepy: Holmes: We'll be meeting him at the mall mentioned previously to trade Shakespeare for information. Arsé-kun: Lupin: Huh. I didn't think we were really taking that bait. Sheepy: Holmes: Once again, we have no choice. Arsé-kun: *Edmond is Dead* Sheepy: Holmes: The Servant who slew the Count is here for Shakespeare. We cannot safely keep him in our custody. However, letting him go would mean us capturing him was for naught. Sheepy: Holmes: Our only option is to take the bait. Arsé-kun: Lupin: You're no fun. Fine. Sheepy: Holmes: Ahahaha. You know that isn't true. Sheepy: Holmes: After all, if I was dull, would you really invite me to things? Arsé-kun: Lupin: ..... Okay, you got me there. Sheepy: Holmes: So, should we head out? Who should go? Sheepy: Holmes: If we go with weaker Servants, he could decide to just kill us all. If we bring stronger Servants, Satoru would be left in the care of Servants who could not protect him from the threat Arryn poses... Arsé-kun: Mori: We need an even split, then. Sheepy: Holmes: Right. Sheepy: Bedi: I would like to go. I just don't understand... Sheepy: Bedi:....Why did he kill me...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Can't say. Please be safe this time! Sheepy: Bedi: I will be. I promise. Sheepy: Tristan: Sir Lancelot. Will you be going? Arsé-kun: Lance: .....mmmmn? Non, I don't think so.. Sheepy: Tristan: I wish never to separate from you... However. If you are not going, I will. After all... Sheepy: Tristan: If both you and I leave, the home loses the protection of two great knights. If you and I both stay, those who are visiting Arryn lose the strength of two great knights. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... True. Don't die. Sheepy: Tristan: If I die, please remember me as the most beautiful man who has ever lived... Arsé-kun: Angra: I've never been to a mall! Do they got food? Sheepy: Bedi: They have so much variety! Arsé-kun: Angra: I'm useless, but I wanna go! Sheepy: Bedi: If I throw you, you can be a projectile weapon! Arsé-kun: Angra: Now we're thinkin' with bodily harm! Sheepy: Bedi: You and I will be an unstoppable team! Arsé-kun: Angra: Mostly you though! Sheepy: Bedi: A group effort! Arsé-kun: Angra: New question! Are malls a "no shoes no shirt no service" place? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Angra: Drat! Sheepy: Gil: Wuhahahaha! Of course, I will be accompanying you all! Sheepy: Gil: Don't forget to thank me, mongrels! Arsé-kun: Minako: Thank you, Gilgamesh! Sheepy: Gil: You see how easy it is to thank me? Arsé-kun: Minako: Hm, no, I think I'm gonna die in seven days now. *she's joking* Sheepy: Gil: Well, make sure to wait a while longer! You must be around long enough for me to obliterate you in the new Smash Brothers game coming out! Wuhahahahaa! Arsé-kun: Minako: Oh, you're totally on! Sheepy: Satoru: I want to go. But I can't. I'm twelve. Arsé-kun: Mori: If you go, then the house doesn't need to be fortified as heavily... But that's a risk I'm not fond of taking. Sheepy: Satoru: Uhuh. Sheepy: Satoru: I have questions I want answered, too. Arsé-kun: Enkidu: I will remain here in case the Assassin returns. I would like to look a few things up as well. Sheepy: Palomides: This isn't my fight to fight. I'm sorry for leaving rather than paying you all back for your help. Arsé-kun: Proto: I forgot you were here! Arsé-kun: *They eventually leave, and go to the mall! Upon arriving, at least half the gathered servants wander off because they have the attention span of kindergarteners released in a playground.* Sheepy: Holmes: Really... Why can't they stick together... Arsé-kun: Lupin: Why are you surprised? Sheepy: Holmes: Not surprised, but disappointed. Sheepy: Bedi: I will never abandon you. Arsé-kun: Angra: Maybe you won't, but I sure will! Arsé-kun: *Angra has definitely stolen someone else's clothes. None of it fits well.* Sheepy: Bedi: I thought we were going to be the greatest tag team there was... *Bedi seems disappointed...* Arsé-kun: Angra: ... Okay, I'll ditch you afterwards! Sheepy: Bedi: That's fine. Sheepy: Bedi: Let's work hard! Arsé-kun: Angra: Let's good cop- bad cop 'em! Sheepy: Bedi: Right! ...However, I am no good at the bad cop... Arsé-kun: Angra: Well, duh! You're too goody-two shoes! Sheepy: Satoru: I'll be the big cop who looms and stares ominously. Sheepy: Satoru: Fou will be the Fou cop. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou... Sheepy: Satoru: Fou, fou. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fouuu! Sheepy: Bedi: Are we at the right meeting point? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou fou? Sheepy: Shakespeare: Oho. I sure hope he didn't get lost. Arsé-kun: Andersen: We wouldn't be that unfortunate. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Is that so? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Otherwise we'd be stuck with you a couple more hours. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Wouldn't it be fortunate to be stuck with me? Arsé-kun: Andersen: One more sonnet and I'll stick my head in the dirt. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Now, let me put my mind into thinking of one about ostriches. Arsé-kun: *anyway welcome to mall where a lot of people wanna sell you stuff. like this skeevy sunglasses man that's fixing a watch.* Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies... I'm not interested. Sheepy: Satoru: If you don't make eye contact, he doesn't exist. Arsé-kun: ?: Unfortunately, I'm here for something else- Namely, your poet. Sheepy: Bedi: ...Huh? You... don't look like the person we were supposed to meet with. Arsé-kun: ?: I'm not Master, no, but someone had to keep an eye out for you. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Hoho! Of course you're the one watching and waiting for us! Sheepy: Shakespeare: For your service, I will write you a little gift later! Sheepy: Holmes: *He, meanwhile, has approached the store* Arsé-kun: ?: If it isn't math, I don't want it. You know this. Sheepy: Shakespeare: How unfortunate! Sheepy: *The group enters!* Arsé-kun: *by all accounts, it's a lil mall restaurant.* Sheepy: Lio: Boss, Boss~ *He's shoving a fish in a bag in Arryn's face* It's a betta fish! You know, they usually live in mud puddles! I'm gonna name him after my second favorite person! Ehehe! You know who that is? Arsé-kun: Arryn: *having already accepted having to buy more fish food and a new aquarium unit* Yes. Sir Lancelot. Sheepy: Lio: How did you know? Arsé-kun: Arryn: I listen to you. Sheepy: Lio: Wow...! You're the first one to ever do that! You really do care! Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies... but are we, um... interrupting something? Sheepy: Lio: Wow, wow...! *He rushes over and hugs Bedi* It's Bedi! It's really Bedi! Hey, wait, you feel a little different than the Bedi I know! That's no issue. All Bedis are good! Maybe? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... hello... Um... Sheepy: Bedi:....Hec...tor...? Sheepy: Lio:........... Sheepy: Lio: Wow! Your memory is just like the Bedi I know! Yup! You might feel a little different, but you sure are the same Bedi! Just different! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Lionel, please don't bother the guests until after negotiations. Sheepy: Lio: Awww... But he's my buddy! My Bedi-buddy! Sheepy: Bedi: I...I suppose I am your Bedi-buddy... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *showing up* I lied, I got bored, have we started yet? Sheepy: Lio: It's Merlin, too! Wow, I was really expecting you to cheat your way out of negotiations or something, but you really pulled through! I knew I could trust you! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hello, Sir Lionel! If I were in charge here, I most certainly would have! Sheepy: Holmes: We're just about to. We've brought Shakespeare. In return, we would like answers. Arsé-kun: Arryn: That's fine with me, Detective. Where would you like to start? Sheepy: Lio: That's no good! Only Arthur can cheat his way out of negotiations and look decent while doing it! Yup, if he talked to Lancelot, all would've been good! But instead he swooned and tried to get revenge for guys he didn't even care about! Yep, classic Arthur! What a guy! Arsé-kun: *Merlin opts to pull Lio to the side to reduce interruptions and free lunch* Sheepy: Holmes: Please tell us the motives behind your actions. Arsé-kun: Arryn: You're going to have to be more specific. Sheepy: Holmes: Please explain why you've been infecting Servants with grail mud. Arsé-kun: Arryn: I'm? Not doing that? The only servant I've done that to is my dear Caster, and he volunteered for the experiment. Sheepy: Holmes: ...I see. So you deny it. Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies for cutting in, but... Sheepy: Bedi: A while ago, I met with you. You were struggling with a hill. After I pushed you up the hill... you suddenly killed me. Arsé-kun: *Arryn looks completely puzzled* Sheepy: Bedi: I don't understand. Why would you do this? Arsé-kun: Arryn: I have no recollection of doing anything like that? I would certainly recall doing that, and I certainly don't know who you are. Sheepy: Bedi:....! So my life isn't even worth remembering...? Arsé-kun: Andersen: Interjection. He's being honest. Sheepy: Bedi:....What...? Arsé-kun: Andersen: He isn't lying. Sheepy: Satoru: *He's glaring at Arryn from behind Bedi. Wow! Emotion!* Sheepy: Bedi: No! I definitely saw his face! Arsé-kun: *Arryn is a politician. Being glared at is not new.* Sheepy: Bedi: I...I couldn't have mixed him up with someone else, could I...? Arsé-kun: Andersen: You're both being completely honest. What a mess. Sheepy: Satoru: Maybe he's just used to doing horrible things. He's a terrible man. I hate him! Arsé-kun: Arryn: That's a jump to conclusions... *he's thinking, tapping fingers on his wheelchair* Sheepy: Satoru: It's not! Sheepy: Satoru: You, you... Arsé-kun: Arryn: I haven't done anything foul that I'm yet aware of. I'll swear it on my servants. Sheepy: Satoru: Did you not get enough enjoyment from hurting your own son? Did you have to go out and hurt me, too? Is that your hobby? Hurting children? Sheepy: Satoru: You're lying! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Excuse me?! *he'd stand up if he could. He cannot. But that idea was very upsetting* Sheepy: Satoru: Your so-called butler abducted me! He tested on me by putting some "grail piece" thingy in me! He forced me to try to summon some being against my will, and then threw me away when I failed! Arsé-kun: *Arryn looks startled by this information.* Arsé-kun: Arryn: He's doing what...?? Sheepy: Satoru: Are you really going to say you simply forgot?! How convenient! I bet you forgot how to feel compassion, too! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Why would I send my son money monthly if I didn't care? That doesn't make sense. Sheepy: Holmes:...Arryn. Have you heard of the name "Fantomas"? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah... Sir Griflet told me it was to stop hik from coming back and finishing what he had started... Arsé-kun: Arryn: Don't speak to me about that monster! I couldn't even punish my own child with it around! Sheepy: Bedi: That "monster" is my cousin... Arsé-kun: Arryn: It's the reason for "this"! *he gestures to the wheelchair* Sheepy: Bedi: He's just a little rough. There's nothing to worry about with him. He's gotten over his habit of biting people, you know. Mostly. Arsé-kun: Arryn: If this were not public, I would retort. Sheepy: Bedi: Normally, he dismembers people. Sheepy: Bedi: Sir Tristan is arguably worse... He breaks people's skulls open. Arsé-kun: Arryn: The point of my anger is that I can't even see my own son. Arsé-kun: Arryn: Related or not. Sheepy: Holmes: I am sorry to hear of your situation... Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... Right, right. I'm sorry for getting sidetracked. What was your question? Sheepy: Holmes: Have you hesrd of the name "Fantomas"? Arsé-kun: Arryn: Yes. Not for quite a while, but I have. Sheepy: Holmes: Please tell me of your encounter with him. Arsé-kun: Arryn: He was a Rogue Servant in danger of fading away, so I temporarily contracted with him so he wouldn't perish. He left shortly after, telling me he found a Master. Sheepy: Holmes:...Amd he never showed up again? Arsé-kun: Arryn: Not that I was aware of. He'd also insist that I was being far too nice, but I now think he meant something else. Sheepy: Bedi: Th...that's what you said to me before you killed me...! Sheepy: Holmes: I see. Perhaps you aren't our enemy, after all... Arsé-kun: Arryn: That's why I'm suspicious now as well. I know more, if you'd like it. Sheepy: Holmes: I would. Arsé-kun: Arryn: When I first contracted with him, he couldn't even tell me his own name. He didn't know it. So I can't even say if Fantomas is his real name, or if he's using it. Sheepy: Holmes: Hm... Sheepy: Holmes: If he is the same Fantomas I know, I can give you some information that may help you in return. Arsé-kun: Arryn: I'd like that, yes. Sheepy: Holmes: As you may or may not know, Fantomas is a criminal whose greatest skill is taking the identity of others and... removing them from the equation, as to not allow for doubles. Sheepy: Holmes: There is one man who can see through him. Sheepy: Holmes: His name is Juve, a detective. He has spoken to me and told me whose identity Fantomas has stolen. Sheepy: Holmes: A man named Masanori. You know him, I'm sure. Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... That doesn't make sense. I've know Masato for years, and Masanori works for me when he's able to. He's never done anything malicious that I've ever seen... I think? Sheepy: Satoru: He's the one who abducted me! Twice! He abused me for years...! Sheepy: Satoru: I hate him! Arsé-kun: Angra: He's the reason I'm here at all! It takes a special brand of Bastard to get me here! Sheepy: Holmes: If you aren't the one testing on servants, I suppose he is. I've had my fair share of troubke with him. Arsé-kun: Arryn: As I've said, I only made one experiment total, and the Servant involved was willing. I don't intend to repeat it. Arsé-kun: Angra: .... Anyone else smell that, or is it just me? Sheepy: Bedi: What...? Arsé-kun: *Angra sniffs himself before looking around. It ain't him this time.* Sheepy: *There's a loud howl in the distance!...It's getting closer!* Arsé-kun: Angra: That ain't Lobo! Sheepy: Lio: Wow-wow! You know, this reminds me of that time Marrok ate that lady's nose! What a bad doggy! Arthur was okay with it though, so I guess it's all good! Arsé-kun: *Minako was eating in the background. She stares.* Sheepy: *The sound of a wall collapsing indicates it definitely isn't Lobo!* Arsé-kun: Angra: If I'm dead, assume it's hostile! Arsé-kun: *And Angra rushes out before he can be told no* Sheepy: Shakespeare: Oho! It took him long enough! I was concerned I couldn't get all the players together, but I never should have doubted myself! Arsé-kun: Andersen: You worthless bastard. You make Hyde look loyal. Sheepy: *The beast lets out an angry, distressed cry that sounds vaguely humanoid!* Arsé-kun: Angra: Oh, you poor, unloved beast! C'mere, take it out on me! *he sets up Verg Avesta, and howls right back* Sheepy: *The Beast doesn't seem to recognize that Angra is there. It's more interested in taking out a shiny sign! It also hits Angra.* Arsé-kun: *Angra is able to use Verg Avesta! 2k dmg. He survived it...* Sheepy: *The Beast seems startled by something attacking it! It's now even more distressed! Its rampage has gotten worse!* Sheepy: Bedi: You lived! It must be friendly! Arsé-kun: Angra: Good news, I survived and it's blind! Bad news, it reeks of mud and it's pissed! Sheepy: Bedi: Mud...! Sheepy: Lio:...Hah? Mud? Oh, oh! Hey! That reminds me! Sheepy: Lio: You know, you know! Sheepy: Lio: The Masanori guy wanted some of my face! I didn't ask him why! I assumed he wanted it on Master Arryn's behalf! Hey, Boss, did you like the mud I gave you? Huh, huh? Arsé-kun: Arryn: And you didn't think to tell me that he did this?! Arsé-kun: Arryn: I never asked for it outside the one time I directly asked you! Sheepy: Lio: Haa? He said not to mention it. A surprise gift! Arsé-kun: Arryn: I'm going to have a stroke at this rate. Arsé-kun: *Merlin picks up Satoru* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll be holding onto this! Sheepy: Lio: Boss, he really fooled us! Sheepy: Lio:....Man, man! Getting betrayed...really ticks me off! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Lionel! Get out there and tell that beast what for! Sheepy: Lio: Ahahaha! I'll work really hard! I'm going to get my revenge...! Just wait for me...! *He rushes out to fight the beast* Sheepy: Bedi: We need fo stop it before it hurts someone...! Sheepy: *Holmes is poking his head out of the doorway* Arsé-kun: *Holmes gets a True Name on sight. Marrok.* Sheepy: Holmes: The beast's name is Marrok. Arsé-kun: Arryn: He's alive?! Sheepy: Holmes: You know of him? Arsé-kun: Arryn: He was one of my servants! He just up and vanished one day and I never figured out why. Sheepy: Holmes: If you still have a contract with him, you may be able to stop him. Arsé-kun: Arryn: I'm afraid not. Sheepy: Holmes: He's currently bleeding from his eyes and mouth. His most reliable sense is most likely hearing. Did you have a favorable relationship with him? Arsé-kun: Arryn: I'd like to think that I did, but I'm in no condition to go onto a battlefield! Arsé-kun: *Angra has taken refuge under a table. He survived and he ain't changing that* Sheepy: *Bedi has exited to face off with Marrok* Arsé-kun: *Merlin buffs him from inside! He's gonna need those!* Sheepy: *Marrok's distressed cries continue, occasional accompanied by gagging sounds. He may not be doing so well, but that doesn't stop him from wanting to destroy things! Or, at least, coincidentally destroying things aa he thrashes about.* Arsé-kun: *Arryn's Caster hurries inside, clearly not keen on being out there.* Arsé-kun: Minako: A bunch of 'em decided to go shopping, but they're not deaf! Sheepy: *Marrok destroys the stall that the Caster was originally working at! Bedi is seen trying to deal samage to him. It's just making him panic more.* Arsé-kun: Arryn: Maxwell. I know you're not fond of combat, but please do what you can to keep everyone up and running. I'll pay for your stall. Arsé-kun: Maxwell: ... Fine, but I expect interest. It'll take time to start up my systems. Sheepy: Holmes: I think our best shot is to stall him until he bleeds out. Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Stalling is my forte. That can certainly be arranged. Sheepy: Holmes: I'll pinpoint his weaknesses! Sheepy: *Marrok swings violently and breaks a pretzel stall. Bedi has rushed to a bush.* Sheepy: *Holmes NPs Marrok! Marrok responds by letting out a cry and swiping near Holmes. He totally misses anything important.* Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I see, I see. It truly would be best to let him be, but the cost of his rampage would be... Sheepy: Holmes:....Something tells me he can't pay for it. Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I'd love to heal as soon as my Noble Phantasm is active, however it requires I do damage. Sheepy: Holmes: His stomach. Arsé-kun: Angra: Good luck gettin' to it! He's got those legs in the way! Sheepy: *Marrok is having a grand old time whaling on the local Spencers. Goodbye Spencers, you will not be missed.* Arsé-kun: *Here comes Proto, fully buffing and ready to exert his bonus against wild beasts again!* Sheepy: *Marrok is oblivious to him!* Arsé-kun: *NOT FOR LONG! HERE COMES A SPEAR!* Sheepy: *Marrok lets out a pained cry upon being struck! The tail end of the cry sounded human!* Arsé-kun: Proto: Sorry, bud! I know the pain, but you can't be destroying everything here! Sheepy: Marrok: AAA....AAAA... *He's tremling, similar to a chihuahua. His tail is tucked between his legs. He's turned his attention to Proto* Sheepy: *Marrok lunges for where he thinks Proto is!* Arsé-kun: *Protection from Arrows! He misses!* Sheepy: *He skids to a stop and coughs up blood. Ouch. He pauses, listening for Proto* Arsé-kun: Proto: ......... Sheepy: Marrok: *He's trembling! Where's the guy who hurt him! Where is he? He's going to hurt him again! Just like Ilma! Ilmailmailmailma* Sheepy: *Marrok lets out a scream and breaks the nearest store!* Arsé-kun: Proto: Aw, c'mon! What'd I just say about that?! Sheepy: *Marrok turns his attention back to Proto!* Arsé-kun: Proto: I don't want to do that again! Can't you just sit and not destroy things? Sheepy: Marrok: IL...MA....IL...MAAAAA... H...URT... *He coughs up blood* UUAA....aaa.... *His sounds are more similar to wails than anything...* Arsé-kun: *Proto wails back at him! Uaaaaooo! Awooo!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 3 Sheepy: Marrok: *He's startled by this! A threat! A threat! Oh no, he's in danger! Better swipe at the scary thing! Can he get away from the scary thing? He's going to try, destroying everything in his path. Too bad his footing is unsteady.* Arsé-kun: *Proto backs off* Sheepy: *Marrok doesn't get very far before collapsing. He lets out a sad cry* Arsé-kun: *Proto slowly approaches, going to lightly pat his muzzle.* Sheepy: *Marrok just whines in response...* Arsé-kun: *Proto whines back. This poor wolf.* Sheepy: Marrok: *whine* gale...haut....*cough* Sheepy: *There's gold sparkles coming off of him! You've won, Proto! Despite this, he continues to weakly cry for his friend...* Arsé-kun: *He's won, but at what cost??* Arsé-kun: Proto: .... *pat, pat* Can I get some help out herrreee?!? Sheepy: *Bedi comes out of the bush* Sheepy: Bedi: My apologies... Arsé-kun: Proto: Where's the Casters?! He's definitely dying, the perma-kind! Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin is in a bush. Sheepy: Bedi: I cannot heal anyone... Arsé-kun: *Garden of Avalon is casted! Merlin remembered he had more to do than hold Satoru and explain that incubi don't hunt rhinos* Arsé-kun: *... But can it outheal the bleed damage?* Sheepy: *The sparkles have stopped! However, he's reverted back to a human form!* Arsé-kun: *Proto sneaks some snacks into his pockets. An apology.* Sheepy: *Marrok's alive, but unconscious!* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...! The battle has ended...! Sheepy: Satoru: Uncle Merlin, a man came out of the dog. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I see this! Sheepy: Bedi:...But who sent him here? Masanori? Sir Lionel implied as such... Sheepy: Bedi:...Oh, yes, speaking of which, Sir Lionel is dead. Sheepy: Bedi:....Cu dead. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I noticed that. He'll be fine in a few minutes. Sheepy: Lio: *yawn* Bors- five more minutes... *he rolls over and goes back to sleep Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Yeah, he's fine. I got him covered. Sheepy: Bedi: So our only concern now is... What happened with Arryn? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He fell out of his chair, but he's otherwise okay, just rattled. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Arsé-kun: *Andersen pulls himself out from under Lionel. he had a bad time* Sheepy: *Lionel isn't bothered by this. He's happily babbling about Lancelot in his sleep.* Sheepy: *Grif has arrived during all of this mess. Rather than helping, he's kicking some rubble away and setting up a lemonade stand on the srea where the pretzel stall used to stand.* Arsé-kun: *Kay is utterly exasperated and intentionally not looking at everything. Save him.* Arsé-kun: Angra: Hey! Don't you see the rubble! This is a no-shop zone! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? I see it no longer. I moved it. Arsé-kun: Angra: Fine! You gotta.... Uh... Arsé-kun: Angra: You gotta clean up before you can! That includes all this mess! Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: *Maxwell leaves the store to fix his own stall and move rubble. He's helping* Sheepy: Grif: *He picks up Angra and pulls out a towel* Arsé-kun: Angra: Uah? Sheepy: Grif: *He starts rubbing Angra's face with it before stopping moments later* Sheepy: Grif: I did it. I helped clean the mess. Arsé-kun: Angra: H-hey! I just look like this! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Grif: I see... Arsé-kun: *kay spots arryn. doesnt say anything to griflet.* Sheepy: Grif: *He follows Kay's gaze and stares at Arryn* Arsé-kun: Arryn: ...... ........... *he slowly grabs onto Holmes' arm like that'll help him any* Sheepy: Grif: Enemy detecte...*He looks at the apron he's wearing* ...No, no, this sensation, this enraged feeling... Sheepy: Grif: The spirit of customer service flowing within me...! It's a customer...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif please Arsé-kun: Kay: You'll wanna quit in a week. I guarantee you. Sheepy: Grif: Kaaaayyy! Let me at him! I will snap him in two! Sheepy: Grif: I will crush him with the knowledge hat I am the manager! Sheepy: Grif: I will renovate his bones! Arsé-kun: Andersen: Too aggressive! You'll scare children away! Sheepy: Grif: Haa? But... Sheepy: Grif: Kay...I wanna be popular with the kids... Arsé-kun: Andersen: Anyway, we've already spoken to him! He didn't commit any of the latest crimes, so you're not allowed in there! Don't be stupid. You can kill Shakespeare though. Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Crimes? Sheepy: Grif: He committed crimes? Arsé-kun: Andersen: No! Arsé-kun: *Proto just stares. Hello? Anyone?* Sheepy: Grif:........ Sheepy: Grif: His biggest crime is his inability to be a good father! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: As if he ever had a chance. Would you be Berserker? Sheepy: Grif: That's not my name! My name is Griflet! Sheepy: Grif: It's short for Griflet! Sheepy: Grif: My class is Berserker. Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Pardon me. You would be the Berserker, Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Ah. Then I have two things for you. Sheepy: Grif: However...! My current class is... Shopkeeper! For a limited time, I'm an unattainable beloved shop character! Incredible! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I understand the feeling of being unattainable. It isn't fun. But please focus for one moment. Sheepy: Grif: Yes! Fine! I'll focus! Arsé-kun: *Maxwell hands him a bag of misc. stuff* Arsé-kun: Maxwell: For your shop. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... This strange man is very kind, Kay! I was going to sell some of my hoard, but now I don't need to! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd hold on that judgement... Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Now, thing number two. Arsé-kun: Maxwell: For my Master. Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Arsé-kun: *Grif gets nuked. Everyone else gets healed.* Sheepy: Grif: Uuuughhh...! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: With that, the exchange is completed. You're very lucky I have this debuff. Sheepy: Grif: That HURT! Sheepy: Grif: I'm gonna....! I'm gonna.... Arsé-kun: Maxwell: So did breaking someone's spine. Please tell me you're the manager. Sheepy: Grif:... Sheepy: Grif: Behold...! The manager! Sheepy: *Grif pulls out an orb* Sheepy: Grif: Amazing! For a limited time, you get to speak to a secret character! Arsé-kun: Kay: you are incomprehensible. I'm gonna go puke. Sheepy: Grif: Rumor has it that this character is none other than my other parent! Arsé-kun: Proto: *HELLO?!* Sheepy: Grif: ...Where was I... Sheepy: Grif:...Oh. Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I'M GONNA TEAR YOU TO SHREDS! Sheepy: *Grif lunges at Maxwell!* Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I was wondering where that was! *he pulls out his still-whirring gadgets and jumps back* And you can certainly try, but you'll find it a tad difficult! Arsé-kun: *Angra.. Starts cheering for a fight. He's just egging them on.* Arsé-kun: *Arryn has gone pale. Please let him leave.* Sheepy: Grif: *He doesn't care about difficulty! He's now got one thing on his mind: dismemberment!* Arsé-kun: *Maxwell is healing as soon as he's hit, so...* Sheepy: Grif: By the way, if you're hurt, make sure to visit the Dragon's Hoard! We have the best deals around! Arsé-kun: Proto: Can you fight soMEWHERE ELSE?! Sheepy: Grif: And if you collect two Yog So-tickets, you can do one roll of the Grif Gacha! Incredible! What a deal! Arsé-kun: Kay, distantly: GRIF SHUT THE FUCK UP Sheepy: Grif: And if you do the event, you can even join me on my quest to find my true other parent! Amazing! What a deal! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Maybe stop trying to kill me! It won't help your sales pitch! Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Sheepy: *Grif pauses* Sheepy: Grif: What? Do you know how to sell things? Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Yes. I had my own stall here before things got destroyed. Sheepy: Grif: Ahahaha! How lucky am I! Sheepy: Grif: Teach me! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Only if you stop trying to kill me or my Master! Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Your master? Arsé-kun: *Arryn REALLY wants to leave!* Sheepy: Grif: *He looks directly at Arryn* Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... !!! Sheepy: Grif: But every second I leave him alive, Kidd is at risk, isn't he? Arsé-kun: Kay: *returning from stage left* You literally heard everything, did you already forget?! Sheepy: Grif: *staaaare* Sheepy: Grif: Kay... Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm not gonna fight people today. I told Kidd I wouldn't. Sheepy: Grif: He never explained anything in terms of his actions as a father. Sheepy: Grif: He just denied things. Sheepy: Grif: I could deny things... but lying is wrong... I can't do it. Arsé-kun: Kay: For Fuck's Sake! Sheepy: Grif: No...! For Kidd's sake! Arsé-kun: Arryn: *STILL clinging to Holmes* Please tell him I'll gladly tell him anything, just don't let it near me..!! Sheepy: Grif: I want to protect him very well! He's fragile, you know! And by the way! Sheepy: Grif: *He glares at Arryn* I'm no it, you know! I may not be human, but I am just as human as you are! Sheepy: Holmes: If you're willing to listen, he'll explain to you. Arsé-kun: Arryn: Maybe you are now, but you sure weren't back then! Sheepy: Grif: Hah? No, I always act like that. Sheepy: Grif: Fine! I'll listen! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Yes, I was certainly being too rough! I admit that openly! But I never intended to actually injure him! You never gave me a chance to even try to explain! Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Sheepy: Grif: ... Sheepy: Grif: *He tilts his head* Sheepy: Grif:.....Ahahahahahahahahaha! Arsé-kun: *Arryn has two fear stacks* Sheepy: Grif: Mistakes have been made on both sides, it seems! Sheepy: Grif: Well then! No harm done! Arsé-kun: Arryn: A lot of harm done!! I can't use my lower half at all! Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Why don't you just use it? Arsé-kun: Arryn: You broke my back!! Sheepy: Grif: Is this like how humans don't grow back their limbs? Just grow back your spine. Arsé-kun: Arryn: ........ Sheepy: Grif: Humans really are such fragile creatures! You should have told me how fragile you were before I broke you! Arsé-kun: Kay: If you're just as human, then why didn't you know that? Sheepy: Grif: .... Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: Maybe I really am totally lacking in human sense...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Wow, what a revelation! You finally noticed?! Sheepy: Grif:....Hmmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: My father told me who my other parenr js... Perhaps that parent isn't human, either... Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Yog-Sothoth... Yog-Sothoth... Yog-Sothoth... Arsé-kun: Aza: *piping up from Holmes* Ah? Ah? Yog-gof? ((TL: Child of Yog?)) Arsé-kun: *Arryn jumps slightly and lets go of Holmes. What the?* Arsé-kun: *in the way background is merlin recasting garden of avalon, while trying to give someone directions over the phone. he has bitten his tongue several times.* Sheepy: Grif: *he nods* I am, I am! Sheepy: Grif: *he holds up the orb once more* Rumors say…! This is him! Sheepy: Grif: Ia! Ia! Yog-Sothoth~! Sheepy: *Lio has returned during this period and is sitting by Arryn. Please help out by putting him back in his chair. Don’t just go back to looking at your new pet fish!* Sheepy: Lio: Boss, Boss, Boss~ Did you see how well I fought?! That’s the power of a level 1, you know! If you give me embers and mats, I’ll grow even stronger! I want to be strong, handsome, and pure like Lancelot! Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... We'll start working on that tomorrow. Is that all right, Lionel? Arsé-kun: *Aza-bee crawls out of Holmes' pocket and goes to inspect Griflet. Interesting?* Sheepy: Lio: I want to be pretty like my mom! Maybe the Holy Grail will bless me, just a bit, as I ascend...! Sheepy: *Grif is curious about Aza-bee.* Sheepy: Holmes:...By the way. Do you mind if I ask where you get the mud from? Arsé-kun: Arryn: Oh, that's simple. Lionel. Sheepy: Lio: Don't look too hard at my face, okay? It's really ugly! I tried rubbing it off, but it came back, so oh well! *He flips up his hair covering half his face* Sheepy: Holmes:....?! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Don't rub it so much. Just wipe it off as you need to. I've told you this. Sheepy: Lio: But it looks ugly... Arsé-kun: Arryn: That's how you irritate the skin. Sheepy: Lio: But... Sheepy: Lio: I keep asking the grail how I can get rid of it... No response... Arsé-kun: Angra: That's easy! You don't! Arsé-kun: Angra: But damn, it dinner time already? *he just. comes up from under the table and takes a handful of mud of Lionel's face before munching on it. how classy* Sheepy: Lio: E-ehhh?! Arsé-kun: Angra: Hmmmm... A bit too hopeful. Sheepy: Lio: E-ehhh?! Arsé-kun: Angra: Hi, I'm the guy that made this stuff 'cause I got thrown in the grail. How you doin'? Sheepy: Lio: Into... huh...? Arsé-kun: Angra: Don't ask me for a grail, all I got is a mystery box of a grail! Sheepy: Lio: At one point, the grail saw me as worthy of finding it.. And then, I made one mistake... I lost it... and, I... Arsé-kun: Angra: Huh. That sounds like a you problem. Sheepy: Lio: But now, I...! I can be forgiven, I think! Why else would I be summoned? Arsé-kun: Angra: Hi, I'm literally under bronze rank. Don't get yer hopes up. Sheepy: Lio:...... Sheepy: Lio: There's no other reason I'd be summoned... No other reason... Arsé-kun: Angra: Who knows? Not me! Never ask me anythin'. Sheepy: Lio: You know, um... Sheepy: Lio: It was my family who found the grail. Sheepy: Lio:...If I had been there... Sheepy: Lio: Would it have killed me, just like it killed Galahad and Percival? Arsé-kun: Angra: Man, you're depressing! Good for me, terrible for everyone else! Sheepy: Lio: I-I'm not...! Sheepy: Lio: Boss... Do you hate me? Really? *He looks terrified. Look at what you did, Angra. You took a perfectly good Avenger and gave it anxiety.* Arsé-kun: Arryn: No, Lionel. Arsé-kun: *... and proto's still sitting there with poor marrok* Sheepy: Lio: Ah...! *He suddenly hugs Arryn!* You really care! Really! *sob* Arsé-kun: *rip arryn's spine but im different* Sheepy: Holmes: By the way. Sheepy: Holmes: Do you know someone named Eiji? Arsé-kun: Arryn: I did, yes. His son looks just like him, too. Sheepy: Holmes: Are you aware of what happened to him? Arsé-kun: Arryn: I am. I'm beginning to think Fantomas was involved far longer than I thought he'd be. Sheepy: Holmes: Where did he get the worms from? Sheepy: Holmes: I had assumed they all died out. Arsé-kun: Arryn: I'd rather not disclose that information in public, but I'm fairly certain he stole something prior. Sheepy: Holmes: I see... Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... But it was not the only instance of them in that year. Sheepy: Holmes: What...? Sheepy: Holmes: More than one instance? Arsé-kun: Arryn: I don't know why I'm still alive and at this point I'm afraid to ask Sheepy: Holmes: You're the other one with worms? Arsé-kun: Arryn: Masanori claimed they would keep me alive. Well, I suppose he wasn't lying about that.. Sheepy: Holmes: With how much damage they did to Eiji, I'm amazed you're still alive. Arsé-kun: Arryn: I've done some research into the subject, but I really think not bothering them is ideal. Sheepy: Holmes: Of course. That makes sense. Sheepy: Lio: Boss... ate a worm? Will you be okay? Hector made me eat an earthworm once when we were kids, and I got really sick... Sheepy: Lio: I wanted to get the grail so Bors would like me again, but... I want to make Boss healthy again! Sheepy: Lio: Does it work that way? Sheepy: Lio: Won't I be kidnapped by angels? Arsé-kun: Angra: ....? ???? Sheepy: Lio: Galahad... he was brought to heaven while he was still alive. Arsé-kun: Angra: Wow. Gross. Sheepy: Lio: Bors is the only one who survived. Sheepy: Lio: But Bors hates me now because I'm a bad person. I did something bad. Galahad got the grail because he was a good person. Sheepy: Lio: So I need the grail so Bors will see me as a good person and like me again. Sheepy: Lio: But then I'll be abducted by angels afterwards, right? So really, I won't be able to hang out with him again... I haven't quite figured out the kinks in my plans... Sheepy: Lio: By the way, I feel the grail nearby. And not just you! That little kid, too! Arsé-kun: Angra: Ain't the only one that exists! You keep my Master outta this! Sheepy: Lio:..... Sheepy: Lio: There's...more than one? Arsé-kun: Angra: Yep. Sheepy: Lio: So what was the point in Galahad finding it, then? Really, what good did it do? Oh, but it told me that Bors hated me...so if I gain its approval, Bors will like me again... Arsé-kun: Angra: I could give connecting to it a shot? I've never tried this! If you die it's on you! Sheepy: Lio: Huh? Sheepy: Lio: You can connect to it? Arsé-kun: Angra: We're gonna find out! Sheepy: Lio: Wow! Arsé-kun: *in the few moments of quiet, merlins STILL on the phone. he's about to throw his phone, fou case and all* Sheepy: *Marrok is still out. His breathing's still ragged. Thanks to Garden of Avalon, he's not fading, but he's also suffering from not having a Master...* Arsé-kun: *GALEHAUT ENTERS SCENE. CAMERA PANS OVER THE ABSOLUTE MESS THIS MALL IS IN. GALEHAUT TRIES TO EXIT SCENE. CUE MERLIN.* Sheepy: Lio: Ha? Aaaahhh...! It's Gale! Arsé-kun: Gale: Afternoon, Sir Lionel. From what I can see, this is a disaster. Please direct me to the court wizard so I can wring his neck. Sheepy: Lio: Well, I can explain! Arsé-kun: Gale: Under three sentences or less. Sheepy: Lio: Marrok burst in, all angry and corrupted! He was huge! He ended up bleeding out and would've died without Merlin's help! Arsé-kun: Gale: Thank you. I rescind my previous request. Where is Marrok? Sheepy: Lio: Poor Marrok. It's all my fault, too... Sheepy: *Lio points in the direction of Marrok* Arsé-kun: *Gale goes to get him. Proto is relieved of dogwatching duty* Sheepy: *Marrok is still unconscious. He doesn't even stir when Galehaut approaches him. He looks pale.* Arsé-kun: *Gale doesn't look carefully. Galehaut is more preoccupied with figuring out what to do next. Bring Marrok to Chaldea and then what???* Sheepy: Lio: He's kinda dog-like, right? So a vet would be good. Sheepy: Lio: He's kinda human-like, right? So a doctor would be good. Sheepy: Lio:...Dogtor? Arsé-kun: Gale: But which?! Sheepy: Bedi: What about the centaur? Sheepy: Bedi: He's half animal and half human, just like Sir Marrok. Sheepy: Bedi: His name is... Charon, I think. Arsé-kun: Gale: Yes, that will do! Thank you. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, I'm glad! Sheepy: Lio: Say hi to Lancelot for me! I want to see him again! Arsé-kun: Gale: Can you not..? But fine. *GALEHAUT hurries out stage RIGHT, past MERLIN, who visibly [SIGHS WITH RELIEF]* Arsé-kun: *Angra offers Lio a Friendmaker after an extended silence. Where did he get that?* Sheepy: Lio: Wah....! It's you, it's really you! Sheepy: Lio: Boss, Boss! This is my friend! He told me many things! The Holy Grail!! Arsé-kun: *angra anime sweatdrop.gif* Sheepy: *Lio accepts the Friendmaker.* Arsé-kun: Angra: That's all I got from it! Nothin' else! Sheepy: Lio: What? Really? Arsé-kun: Angra: I don't think it likes you much, but that's okay! It probably doesn't like me either! Sheepy: Lio: I’ll work hard to be liked! Sheepy: Lio: First step is… self love! Sheepy: Lio: So I have to make a friend of myself! I can accomplish it by the power of the Friendmaker! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: *dismayed* don't you dare cut yourself. Sheepy: Lio: Eh? I wasn’t going to cut myself. Just stab! Arsé-kun: Angra: That's the exact opposite of befriending yourself! Sheepy: Lio: ….. Sheepy: Lio: Then why is it called the Friendmaker? Arsé-kun: Angra: ........ That's a good question. Sheepy: Lio: Hmm, hmmm… the secret to self-love… Arsé-kun: *Merlin makes a Face™ but says nothing.* Sheepy: Lio: My face is kinda ugly, and my body’s covered in scars… yup! I’ve got nothing! Arsé-kun: Angra: Me too! Sheepy: Lio: Really? Arsé-kun: *[nature documentary voice] these two servants are Useless. Observe as they interact.* Arsé-kun: Aza: *very distantly* Humans die when they are killed? And they stay dead? That sounds awful. Arsé-kun: Aza: *very distantly* Humans die when they are killed? And they stay dead? That sounds awful. Sheepy: Grif: *distantly* Did you know they can’t eveb grow their spine back? So weird. Humans are too fragile. Sheepy: Lio: …! Boss, Boss! I remembered something! I know someone you can ask for advice on who to be dad, since you’ve made up with Grif! Arsé-kun: Aza: *a little less distantly* I am glad I am built differently, Sheepy: Lio: Lancelot! And then! Do everything opposite of what he suggests! Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... I will make that decision on my own, but thank you. Sheepy: Lio: Hah? You’re not gonna go back to him? I wanna be an uncle, though! Last time I was an uncle, my nephew got sent to heaven while still alive! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Thank you for your input. Sheepy: Lio: You know, if Galahad had eaten Percy’s potatoes, he might’ve grown taller… …Hmm, I want to be tall like Bors and Lancelot… Sheepy: Lio: Percy was built like a tree. Maybe I should eat potatoes. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Hoho. Potatoes, you say. Maybe we should try more potato dishes. I’m sure the prisoners in the basement would enjoy them. Arsé-kun: Arryn: The W H A T ?! Sheepy: Lio: … Hah? Sheepy: Shakespeare: You didn’t notice? The experiments? Sheepy: Shakespeare: I never mentioned them because I assumed you knew. Arsé-kun: Arryn: Yes, William. Let me go down the stairs, William. Sheepy: Holmes: I have experienced them firsthand. Arsé-kun: Arryn: Do explain if you'd like to. Sheepy: Holmes: They ran experiments on me. I suppose they were fascinated by the strange way I ended up summoned. Sheepy: Holmes: I eventually manipulated someone into letting me out… Oh, yes. Bright lights are dangerous when driving. Arsé-kun: Aza: *cheerfully* They didn't survive! *he lands on Holmes' shoulder. hello* Sheepy: Holmes: Yes, exactly. Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... Avenger. Caster. When we get home, we need to raze the basement. Sheepy: Lio: Willy said I wasn’t allowed down there. He said I was too young to look, but you know, I’m 26… Sheepy: Lio: I’m no kid… Arsé-kun: Arryn: You can stay aboveground due to your level. Your age plays no part. Sheepy: Lio: I wanna help~ I’ve got a big helper~ Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... Where is your partner, anyway? Sheepy: Lio: Where is Porksalot? Umm… Sheepy: Lio: Porksaloooot~! Where are youuuu? Arsé-kun: *a few seats away, both Proto and a lil' pig are being given table scraps by Minako. There aren't much.* Sheepy: *The little boar turns his attention to Lio upon hearing his call and rushes over! A pig on a mission* Sheepy: Porksalot: *he grunts. hello!* Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Now all we're missing is Assassin, and I know he won't be making an appearance. *he bends down to pat Porksalot* Sheepy: Lio: Where did Gramps go, anyway! Arsé-kun: Arryn: He wanted to make sure William wasn't harmed. After that, I haven't inquired into where he might be. Sheepy: Lio: They found me, too! But they didn’t abduct me. Arsé-kun: Aza: You didn't witness me. Sheepy: Lio: I witnessed you now! Sheepy: Holmes: You also didn't look like you knew anything... Sheepy: Lio: I hear that a lot! Arsé-kun: when aza speaks the answer is No Arsé-kun: Aza: .... You've only witnessed a tangible shell that contains my essence. I could certainly correct this, however! Sheepy: Lio: Oh, oh, I wanna see-- Sheepy: Holmes: No!! Sheepy: Grif: Wow... I want to be a tangible shell that contains my essence, too... Sheepy: Grif: Arryn is a tangible shell too, which contains his spine... Wow, if I were so fragile, I'd just keep my spine elsewhere. Arsé-kun: Aza: That is called a lich. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Arryn, make like a lich and remove your spinal cord. Sheepy: Grif: I hear duct tape fixes everything. Arsé-kun: Arryn: Liches are illegal. Sheepy: Grif: There's a law against liches? What will I do when I get sick? Sheepy: Grif: When I died, I was brought back by the power of god and also very good liches. Arsé-kun: Kay: THAT'S A LEECH DUMBASS Sheepy: Grif: Leech...leech... Sheepy: Grif:...Hey, Kay. Sheepy: Grif: Leeches drink blood, don't they? Sheepy: Grif: So how do they fix blood loss? Wouldn't they just cause more blood loss? Arsé-kun: Kay: How should I know? Why would you ask ME about that? Sheepy: Grif: Because you know eveeything. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Kay doesn't know something... He isn't so smart after all... Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh... I'm a math major, not anatomy! Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif:....*he raises his eyebrows*... Sheepy: Grif: So you send great numbers to war... Arsé-kun: Kay: what. Sheepy: Grif: Major... a high ranking officer. Sheepy: Grif: Math... math. Arsé-kun: *arryn is utterly dismayed that THIS is what ruined his life. THIS.* Sheepy: Grif: By the way, there's 206 bones in the human body. Sheepy: Grif: A well aimed blow could crush all of them. Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I think I stopped disobeying the Second Law of Thermodynamics from how utterly dumb your previous statement was. Please stop speaking. Sheepy: Grif: Hw said he doesn't know anatomy. I'm helping. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway. I do not understand. What is a major? Arsé-kun: *Aza rumbles a reply. It's uncomfy and we're not sure why he knows this in specific* Sheepy: Grif: Oh, I see, I see. I understand. *He repeats the definition of major (college) in Rlyehian.* Sheepy: Grif: I know what this is. Arsé-kun: *Kay is ready to start drinking at 5 pm.* Sheepy: Grif: Kay, you never told me you went to college. Arsé-kun: *Kay is ready to start drinking at 4:56 pm.* Sheepy: Grif: I want to go there some day... and "major" in... Sheepy: Grif:...A culinary degree. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... ok. Sheepy: Grif: That way, I can give back to you and cook for you when you're too tired. Amazing. Arsé-kun: Kay: That'd ... Actually be nice. Sheepy: *Grif seems pleased by Kay's response!* Sheepy: Grif: I'll work hard to level up my Cooking skill. Sheepy: Grif: Bedi has a high level on his... So does Lucan... Of us three, I have fallen very far behind... Arsé-kun: *The plot: lost. Okita: Okita. Satoru: Somewhere. Bedivere: Bush.* Sheepy: Grif: Kidd is very sensitive, though... So I will feed my attempts to Crev and Lupin instead. Yes. By the way, my Cooking stat is 3. Arsé-kun: Kay: It was 1 last I heard. Good work! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Kay has complimented you! What will you do, Griflet?!* Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif:....*He appears flustered...Well, for the few seconds Kay got to see his face. He suddenly covers his face with his hands! No more blush for you* Arsé-kun: Kay: (´･ω･`) ? Sheepy: Grif: *muffled* Thank you. I'll work hard. Arsé-kun: *Grif gets a buff. 2x cooking xp for the next 24 hours.* Sheepy: Grif: I'm going to cook many things with this double XP buff. Sheepy: Grif: So Kay will compliment me again... Arsé-kun: Kay: That's your priority?! Sheepy: Grif: It made me feel very warm and happy. Arsé-kun flipped a coin. The coin showed: Heads Arsé-kun: Angra: LMAO GAAAAAY Sheepy: Grif: *He removes his hands* Arsé-kun: *that would be ominous if it didn't mean "off his own face"* Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Arsé-kun: Angra: owo)b Sheepy: Grif: *He points to his wedding ring on his right hand* ....?? This was from my wife... Arsé-kun: *angra briefly considers this* Arsé-kun: Angra: Okay, have it your way. Looool, bi. Sheepy: Grif: Although... My menu... Hmmm... Arsé-kun: *Grif's menu comes up. Here it is* Sheepy: Grif: *He shifts to the relationship page* Arsé-kun: *Kay is looking over his shoulder* Sheepy: Grif: Kay's is hearts, but people like Bedi and Bill have stars... Sheepy: Grif: Oh, yes. Sorry. Goodbye. Arsé-kun: *Angra decides to not explain, and uses this as an excuse to dip out* Sheepy: Grif: Kay is unique. Arsé-kun: *It's Kay's turn to be flustered. He is ready to outdrink an entire bar at 4:58 pm.* Sheepy: Grif:....Oh, and there's someone new on the list. Sheepy: Grif:........ Arsé-kun: Maxwell: That would be my Master. *he gestures to Arryn* Sheepy: Grif: What? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: His name isn't just Dad? ...Wow... Sheepy: Grif: I was wondering if you were bullied as a child for being named Dad... Sheepy: Grif:........ Sheepy: Grif:.............Ha. Hahaha. Hahaahahahaha. Sheepy: Grif:...... *He covers his face again*...... Sheepy: Grif:..It's a joke. Arsé-kun: Kay: A bit flat, but you're getting there. Sheepy: Grif:....Wow...Kay believes in me... I really can do anything now. Arsé-kun: *i think we lost the plot in favor of these two chucklefucks* Sheepy: Grif:....By the way. Arryn. Uh... Sheepy: Grif: If he wants... I'll make sure not to break your spine if Kidd wants to come see you again. Sheepy: Grif:....Sorry. Sheepy: Grif: I know how it is not to be allowed to raise your own child. I died before I could see my own be born. So... I suppose I got a bit defensive of Kidd, and ended up inflicting the same fate on you. Arsé-kun: Arryn: .... Well, I suppose it isn't as if I haven't been involved at all. Arsé-kun: Arryn: If you don't break more of me, I'll forgive you. Sheepy: Grif: I'll try not to. Sheepy: Grif:....But if I do, don't be so fragile next time. Sheepy: Grif:...Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: *Muffled whirring from Maxwell. he is displeased with that Joke* Sheepy: Grif:....He doesn't hate you either, you know. I think he feels guilty on my behalf. Arsé-kun: Arryn: That is good to know. Sheepy: Grif: But don't do anything funny! I've got a quest to slay some clowns! Sheepy: Grif: Otherwise, uh... Good luck. Arsé-kun: Minako: *finally giving Grif attention* If you kill my clown, I'm gonna kick your ass personally! Sheepy: Grif: Have you seen a clown? Sheepy: Grif: They're creatures with long limbs and strange markings. They can fit themselves into any space, no matter how small. Sheepy: Grif: They have mouths that keep opening, and opening, and opening...... Opening, and opening, and opening... Opening, and... Sheepy: Grif: And they will lure children out of the sight of their parents by imitating the voices of humans before consuming them. Sheepy: Grif: Like a plant, they must be watered, and are often seen watering each other with a flower-like part that functions similarly to a camel's hump... Sheepy: Grif: Now, the subspecies of the clown is the mime, which has the ability to create walls from thin air. So long as they believe something to be the case, they are capable of doing it... Even defying all Earthly laws of physics... Sheepy: Grif: However, unlike clowns, they do not have the ability to fit themselves within any space, and prey on anyone so long as they're easily distracted. Sheepy: Grif: Furthermore, they have no visible faces, unlike clowns. That, of course, is because their mouth is on their... Arsé-kun: Minako: Oh, THAT kind of clown? Why didn't you just say so! Sheepy: Grif: I did. Arsé-kun: Minako: There's a bunch of subspecies... There's the kind that keep other animals around in a weird symbiotic relationship! Sheepy: Grif: What, really? Arsé-kun: Minako: Yeah! At least, that's what Mephi said.. Can't confirm it cause it's Mephi! Sheepy: Grif: Ah.. Sheepy: Grif: What other kind of clown is there? Sheepy: Lio: Clowns... sound really scary...! Does Shakespeare really see me like that?! Arsé-kun: Minako: Well, there's Pierrots and Harlequins- They're in pairs. There's Rodeo Clowns, there's Jesters, Court Fools, and Characters, uhhhh Arsé-kun: Arryn: No, Lionel. Sheepy: Grif: Hah.. I know of these. I just mean, you said "that kind of clown"... What kind of clown are you companions with? Arsé-kun: Minako: Oh. Mephisto. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: No, that's a homunculus. Arsé-kun: Minako: Well. I'll have to tell him someone else knows now. Sheepy: Grif: My menu says such. Arsé-kun: Minako: And Juggalos! Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: You know a lot about clowns. Sheepy: Grif: You know, this information... Sheepy: Grif: could be very useful for the upcoming event! Arsé-kun: Kay: SHUT THE FUCK UP Sheepy: Grif: And if you pull, for a limited time, you can pull the 5* Foreigner Class Griflet! Incredible! What an amazing opportunity! I hear he's got a whole different look and personality! Perhaps even an interesting backstory! Sheepy: Grif: By the way, unlike other servants, no two Griflets can exist at one time. All Griflets are the one, singular Griflet. Meaning, this Griflet is definitely not Griflet. Do you understand? Arsé-kun: Kay: I regret bringing you to the christmas event Sheepy: Grif: But Kay... Sheepy: Grif: My current quest says... Sheepy: Grif: "[Grif-Let The Games Begin!] -- Make the upcoming event a success! Reward: Meet me"... Sheepy: Grif: It's an incredibly do or don't situation! Arsé-kun: Kay: It says UPCOMING! It doesn't say you need to MAKE the event, you dingus! Sheepy: Grif:...Hah? Sheepy: Grif:....Then what about the work I've done? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Mini event? Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Hmmm... Well, I really didn't want a Not-Griflet Griflet running around... Sheepy: Grif: It would be like Mysterious Heroine X and the king... Sheepy: Grif: Despite having the same face and name, they're not at all the same person... Sheepy: Grif: I see! I've benefited from your wits once again! Sheepy: Grif: Oh, yes, I did try to coordinate with him. However, he basically said, "I'm busy, leave me alone" and "Kay won't deliver pizza to me if I'm on Earth" so I took it as a maybe that he would show up. Arsé-kun: Kay: And no one would want to tolerate two of me running around. Even me. Sheepy: Grif: People... Hm... Sheepy: Grif: Would you want two of me? Arsé-kun: Kay: He sounds too different. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... So I'm the superior Griflet in your eyes... Arsé-kun: Andersen: CAN YOU TWO JUST GO OUT ON A DATE ALREADY?! Sheepy: Grif: I know of those. They're chewy, but I like them. Kay, Kay. Let's go on a date. They're tasty. Arsé-kun: *Kay puts his hands over his face and just groans.* Sheepy: *While Grif has been rambling, Elyan has arrived! The man, the legend! He heads over to Arryn and sits on his lap. Elyan time!* Arsé-kun: Arryn: Hello to you too. Sheepy: Elyan: *He stares at Arryn with a "no thoughts head empty" kind of stare* Sheepy: Elyan: .....Hello!! Sheepy: Elyan: ........... Sheepy: Elyan: Where does the toilet water go? Arsé-kun: Arryn: .... Did that have to be the first thing you say to me outside of "Hello"? Also, sewers. Sheepy: Elyan: *stare* Arsé-kun: *Arryn has just accepted today is one of THOSE days and gives up on trying to escape any of this. As if he could.* Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, look. Elyan's beating you in bonding rates. Sheepy: Grif: Wow... Sheepy: Grif: Elyan is really charismatic... I see. Arsé-kun: Kay: He's a fucking bird. Sheepy: Grif: The first step to being charismatic is sitting on people's laps! Arsé-kun: Andersen: Do not do that! Sheepy: Grif: Hah? Arsé-kun: Andersen: You're not a cute animal. Only like three people would let you do that. Sheepy: Grif: Three... Sheepy: Grif: Dad... Dad...and... Sheepy: Grif: Bill! Arsé-kun: Kay: fuck sure whatever Sheepy: Grif: Kay? Would you? Arsé-kun: Kay: No way. That'd be weird. Sheepy: Elyan: *deeper, more suave voice* ...Really, you can trust me. Don't be so apprehensive... He told me to ask this of you... Sheepy: Elyan:...You wouldn't reject his orders, would you? Where is your sense of loyalty? Arsé-kun: *THAT'S ALARMING. 20FT RANGE OF ALARM STATUS* Sheepy: Elyan: ...*gentle honk* Arsé-kun: Arryn: Lionel, Maxwell, William. We're leaving. Sheepy: Lio: Right! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I'll get the car ready. Sheepy: Shakespeare: See you again soon, my friend! Arsé-kun: Andersen: See you. Maybe you won't be so traitorous next time. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Traitorous? No, no! Just wanting to see a good show! Sheepy: *Lio is carrying Porksalot under his arm like a basketball* Arsé-kun: Andersen: At least tell me ahead of time so I can survive it. Sheepy: Shakespeare: That would ruin the surprise.. but I'll try. Sheepy: *It's a tense car ride. Lio's constant shifting in his seat isn't helping.* Arsé-kun: *It's very uncomfortable.* Sheepy: Lio: I can't believe he's a bad guy... Did I really help out a villain...? I thought you wanted it, Boss... Arsé-kun: Arryn: Don't worry about it, Lionel. You didn't know. Sheepy: Shakespeare: A man who's aiming for purity, unwittingly helping out a villain to achieve it...! What a plot! Arsé-kun: Arryn: William, how much do you know? Sheepy: Shakespeare: Now, a playwright should be well-researched for the topics he intends to write about... So I say, although as you may have noticed, I break this rule many-a-times! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Answer the question before I get a pile of Mana Prisms to replace you. Sheepy: Shakespeare: However, in this situation... I felt the great potential for art! Sheepy: Shakespeare: And you, well, you felt like a great protagonist! A man who has lost everything but his beloved butler, leaning upon him for support...! And yet, this butler is secretly sneaking about, committing atrocities under the guise of it being his boss's orders... Sheepy: Shakespeare: It's a bit generic... But I very much wanted to see the genuine reactions from my beloved protagonist! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: *quietly* sir i just had this car washed. Sheepy: Lio: Ha? Betrayal? Sheepy: Lio:.....Betrayal? ...I don't wanna be betrayed... Arsé-kun: Maxwell: You heard it here, Shakespeare. Sheepy: Lio: I'll slay you before you can betray me! Sheepy: Shakespeare: It's not betrayal, it isn't-- Sheepy: *Lio grabs Shakespeare's throat! Do not strangle people in the car, Lio!* Arsé-kun: *Bloodborne YOU DIED screen* Arsé-kun: *we live in a society* Sheepy: Shakespeare: *wheeze* S-Sir-- G-get him off-- Arsé-kun: Arryn: I can't reach. Sheepy: Lio: *he pulls out his Friendmaker* Sheepy: Shakespeare: You have command seals! Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... Lionel, no bloodshed in the vehicle. Sheepy: Lio: *he doesn't seem to be listening!* I won't let you leave me again! I won't let you! *he Friendmakers Shakespeare!* Arsé-kun: Arryn: Lionel. What would the grail think? Sheepy: Lio: ...Huh? Sheepy: Lio: The grail...? Arsé-kun: Arryn: Would it like senseless violence? Sheepy: Lio:..... Sheepy: Lio: *whimper*...I... disappointed the grail again...? Arsé-kun: Arryn: I did bait that reaction, and I will apologize. Sheepy: Lio: *sob, sob* That was my last chance...! Now Bors will never like me again...! The Grail said so! Arsé-kun: *Arryn sighs* Arsé-kun: Arryn: We can go to Chaldea and see how he actually feels as soon as this is over, okay? Sheepy: Shakespeare: *he pulls the friendmaker from between his arm and body. Zero damage dealt. That's the power of invincibility! He pockets it.* Sheepy: Lio:...Huh? Really? We can? I wanna see Bors again... I miss him... Sheepy: Shakespeare: *he's ignoring Porksalot headbutting him* Now then... Consider the following. Sheepy: Shakespeare: *he's ignoring Porksalot headbutting him* Now then... Consider the following. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Let's say I had told you sooner... Sheepy: Shakespeare: Today would not have happened! You would not have gained the chance to see your son once again! Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... I quite doubt that, but I'll take your word for it. For now. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Furthermore, many bonds that were formed in spite of his evil plans would never have been formed! Sheepy: Shakespeare: Now, you see? This is no betrayal! I am totally loyal to making your story the greatest story it can be! Arsé-kun: Arryn: ... ... Fine. But if anything happens that causes us injury, expect me to come after you. Sheepy: Shakespeare: Hm? You would not need to come after me! After all, have I ever not been on your side? Sheepy: Shakespeare: You can trust me. Sheepy: Lio: That's what Hector said before he made me eat an earthworm. Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Kids, can you lighten up a little? Sheepy: Lio: Not easily! Sheepy: Lio: It's hard to remove armor while buckled in... Sheepy: Lio:....Ohhh! The mood! Sheepy: Lio: Boss, Boss! I'll protect you no matter what, so don't be scared, okay? Sheepy: Lio: I can withstand a great beating! I know from experience! So I'll even act as your meatshield if you need me to. Arsé-kun: Arryn: Please don't say that. You're level one still, and that's entirely my own fault. Sheepy: Lio: Level one can still do a little bit! Sheepy: Lio: So I'll do the little bit I can to protect you! I'm Boss's #1 fan, you know! Although, I wonder if I have competition with Gramps...? Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Speaking of, look who's waiting for us at the front door. Sheepy: Lio: There he is! It's Gramps! I was worried about him... Sheepy: Lio: You know, if Masanori had done something to Gramps, I would have friendmaker friendmaker friendmaker friendmaker friendmaker Sheepy: Lio: I would have told him off! Arsé-kun: *Everyone's favorite hulking mass of shadows and spikes! It's Gramps!* Sheepy: *Lio gets out of the car, rushes at Gramps, and attempts to glomp him!* Arsé-kun: *Lionel has collided with King Hassan, the Old Man of the Mountain, Gramps, at a high speed. This man is COVERED in spikes. Lionel is DEAD.* Arsé-kun: *Lionel has collided with King Hassan, the Old Man of the Mountain, Gramps, at a high speed. This man is COVERED in spikes. Lionel is DEAD.* Sheepy: *Lio collapses to the ground, bleeding out...* Sheepy: Shakespeare:......Not even I saw that coming! Arsé-kun: KH: .... This is not the first time he has done this, despite my warnings. Sheepy: Shakespeare: That, however, doesn't surprise me! Sheepy: Lio:......*sob* .........it hurts.... Sheepy: Lio: Gramps, Gramps…! You’re okay! I was really worried about you! Arsé-kun: KH: Of course I would be. I am not so dense as to fall for something that simple. Sheepy: Lio: Of course… Sheepy: Lio: What’s going on in the basement? Arsé-kun: KH: You do not want to know. Arsé-kun: KH: I recommend none of you venture down there. It is currently Hell. Sheepy: Lio: …Huh? Fights are going on down there? Arsé-kun: KH: No, that is not what I know of the Christian Hell. How do I say... Dangerous. Sheepy: Lionel: Oh…! Sheepy: Lionel: But we were going to raze the basement! Arsé-kun: KH: I do not recommend it. It will only spread the fire further. Arsé-kun: KH: ... I still do not recommend it. Sheepy: Lio: Okay, I trust you! Arsé-kun: *KH glances to the side* Sheepy: Lio:....Hey, hey... Sheepy: Lio:...I know you're there, you know? Betrayal is very wrong... Very wrong...*he pulls out a new friendmaker. sir, where did you get that* Arsé-kun: Masanori: It is not a betrayal when we've never been on different sides, Sir Lionel. Arsé-kun: *and there's the bastard himself, just off to the side.* Sheepy: Lio: ...But you were on Boss's side, weren't you...? Arsé-kun: Masanori: At no point did I ever say I was not. Sheepy: Lio: I'm on Boss's side, so if you're not on my side, you're not on Boss's side! So it's betrayal! Arsé-kun: Masanori: I have not once stated that I was not on your side. Why do you think that, good Sir? Sheepy: Lio: Because of what you tried to do to Gramps! Elyan told me! Arsé-kun: Masanori: Would Protection of Faith not protect him? Sheepy: Lio:...Huh? Despite my faith, it didn't protect me... Arsé-kun: Masanori: You are a special case. Sheepy: Lio: Then why were you trying to take Maxwell away? Arsé-kun: Masanori: I was hoping for assistance in getting this filth out of our house. As you can see, I've done no harm. Sheepy: Lio:........ Arsé-kun: *Maxwell does not look happy with his situation, but he really isn't hurt at all.* Sheepy: Lio: But, Elyan said... And you didn't even ask Maxwell... he clearly doesn't want to go... Arsé-kun: Masanori: Would you rather go instead? Sheepy: Lio: I've got a better affinity for cleaning than him! Really, if that's all you wanted, you should have asked me... Arsé-kun: Masanori: Fine, then. *he releases Maxwell's wrists* Sheepy: *Lio suddenly lunges at Masanori and stabs him with the friendmaker!* Sheepy: Lio: I'LL START WITH THE FILTH IN FRONT OF ME FIRST! Arsé-kun: *Masanori takes the knife to his shoulder, and that clearly hurt him!* Arsé-kun: Masanori: Young Sir! That was clearly unnecessary! Sheepy: Lio: I can see through all your lies! Sheepy: *Lio lifts up the friendmaker, planning to attack again!* Arsé-kun: Masanori: How can you see anything with your face like that? Sheepy: Lio: *he responds by stabbing Masanori again* Arsé-kun: Masanori: Will you quit that? You're going to harm Masato at this rate! Sheepy: Lio: Traitor, traitor...! Sheepy: *Lio attempts to stab him again!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 4 Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *Lio is easily grappled and thrown straight through a window! He got baited!* Sheepy: *Lio lets out a cry as he's thrown! However, it's almost entirely muffled by the loud noise of a big boar attempting to gore Masanori! Who's Masato? This duo has never heard of him* Sheepy: Lio: *huff, huff* ...Ngh, it hurts... If only I wasn't level one... ..Ah, the basement, the basement... Arsé-kun: *Get going, Lionel!* Sheepy: *Lio rushes to the basement!* Arsé-kun: *It's dark. Turn a light on!* Sheepy: *Lio turns the light on* Arsé-kun: *The basement is FILTHY! It was NOT like this earlier in the week. It also stinks of burning rot.* Sheepy: Lio: ...Huh? Sheepy: Lio: It's... Wow, no wonder he wanted help cleaning up! It's stinky...! Arsé-kun: *you dumb bitch* Sheepy: Lio: Oh, right... I gotta check if anyone is down here! Arsé-kun: *Go forth, Brave Knight!* Sheepy: *Lio looks for signs of life!* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Arsé-kun: *HE HAS SUCCEEDED* Sheepy: Lio: Ohh...! There is a person here after all! Arsé-kun: *And there is, locked away in the dirtiest cell, curled up in the corner.* Sheepy: Lio: ...Oh, if these cells could be opened by strength, he'd totally be out by now, right? Sheepy: Lio: Hah? Oh, ohhh... I know, if I let you out, you'll be my friend! That's how I make friends... *he poses with the friendmaker* The Friendmaker!!! Sheepy: *Lio starts picking the lock with it* Sheepy: Lio: By the way, did you check Yelp before getting captured? There's reviews on basically every dungeon by Sir Griflet... Sheepy: Lio:...Although, what's even the point of that? You can't choose where you'll get captured. Arsé-kun: *Lio, shut up and succeed on your lockpick check* Sheepy: *Lio finally finishes picking the lock!* Sheepy: Lio: *he approaches the prisoner* Hello, hello! Hey, let's get out of here, okay? Before the butler sees us. Arsé-kun: *The Servant looks up at Lio before slowly getting up. They've been there a while, it seems.* Sheepy: Lio: Hey, haven't I seen your face somewhere before? Arsé-kun: servant: ... Probably. Archer's real popular.. *he isn't happy about this* Sheepy: Lio:.....Oh, that's right! You're on the "eliminate on sight" list that my King sent out! Arsé-kun: servant: .... That'd also be Archer. Now's not the time. Sheepy: Lio: Okay, okay! Let's get out of here for now! I'm only level one, so I'll leave you alone, okay? Sheepy: *Lio takes the servant's hand* Arsé-kun: servant: ..... *no response to that. this is just accepted* Sheepy: *Lio leads the servant out of the basement!* Arsé-kun: servant: Not far enough. Keep going. Sheepy: Lio: Huh? Okay! Sheepy: *Lio leads him out of the house!* Arsé-kun: *Everyone on the front lawn has left. The bloodstains remain.* Sheepy: Lio: It's so nice of you to visit! I really wanted to make some friends, you know! I was really lonel...Huh? Where did Boss go? Arsé-kun: servant: Don't worry about that. Keep going. We're not out of the woods yet. Sheepy: Lio: Oh, have you met Lancelot? He's my double cousin, you know! ...Is Boss gonna be okay...? I'm really worried... Arsé-kun: servant: .... I luckily have not. Sheepy: Lio: He wins every fight, so maybe you are lucky! Arsé-kun: servant: ..... This is far enough. Sheepy: Lio: You're going? Okay, see you later! I'm going to look for Boss! Arsé-kun: servant: You'd better. You'll be needed back there. Sheepy: Lio: Right, bye! *he turns and rushes back* Sheepy: Lio: Boossss....Bosss....Where are you...? I'm really worried, you know...! Arsé-kun: *From the lawn, Lio can hear the whirring of Maxwell's gadgets! It's coming from inside!* Sheepy: *Lio runs into the house!* Arsé-kun: *... And it's definitely from downstairs! Hurry!* Sheepy: Lio: Maxwelll...! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: A hand, if you would!! *he's a bit further in!* Sheepy: Lio: Right! *he heads to the source of the voice!* Arsé-kun: *Maxwell is at the edge of what was once an unfinished indoor pool. It's now a pool... of grail mud. He's not inside it, but some mud is sticking to him. He's stuck.* Arsé-kun: Maxwell: A bit faster next time please! Sheepy: Lio: A...aaahhh?! I'm sorry...! *he rushes over to Maxwell and starts trying to remove the mud* I was helping a golden guy...! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: You freed the prisoner? That's less work for us... But this won't come off! Sheepy: Lio: Why won't it...?! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Even when we tested yours it wasn't like this! Sheepy: Lio: Yeah...! What changed?! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I wouldn't know! I'd like to not experience that experiment again! Sheepy: Lio: Okay, okay, ummm...! Sheepy: Lio: Water could loosen it... Bleach...? Friendmaker...? No, no, water! Sheepy: *Lio attempts water magic.* Sheepy: Lio:....Huh? It's not working... Arsé-kun: Maxwell: What did you expect?? Sheepy: Lio: To help! Because Lancelot always achieves victory in the end, right...? Sheepy: Lio: So that could have rubbed off onto me! Sheepy: Lio: Don't worry! I will help you! I will! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: ... I doubt it. Entropy's coming and I can't do anything about it. Sheepy: Lio: No, no, don't give up! Sheepy: *Lio is trying to remove it with friendmaker. It isn't working.* Arsé-kun: *The mud is shifting.* Sheepy: Lio:...What is that...? Did someone else fall in? Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Not that I know of. Sheepy: Lio: So...then...? A fish? Sheepy: Lio: Maybe a really big betta fish? Sheepy: Lio: Oh... I know what Sir Griflet would do now....! Sheepy: Lio: Cut off the muddied limb! ....But, isn't that painful...? I don't want to hurt you... Arsé-kun: Maxwell: ... Don't bother. Sheepy: Lio:...Huh? Arsé-kun: Maxwell: Get out while you still can. I'm not a real person. You are. Sheepy: Lio: You're a real person! Sheepy: Lio: I don't want to just abandon you...! I-if I did that...I'd be no better than Bors...! Sheepy: Lio: If I was Lancelot...what would I do...? Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I'm telling you to go! Get help for Master! Sheepy: Lio:....! Sheepy: Lio: Boss...! I need to go find him! Sheepy: Lio: I...! *he shifts away from Maxwell* I'm sorry, Maxwell...! I'll come back for you! Arsé-kun: Maxwell: I won't be far. Sheepy: Lio: Okay...! Sheepy: *Lio keaves!* Arsé-kun: *Maxwell's gadgets keep whirring... Until they start skipping and sputtering.* Sheepy: Lio: M-Maxwell.... I'll come back for you after I find Boss, so please hang in there...! Arsé-kun: *Despite the setbacks, the whirring hasn't completely stopped. He's still alive.* Sheepy: *Lio looks for Arryn! He's now extra determined to find him! For Maxwell!!* Sheepy: Lio: Boooosss...! Where are you...?! Sheepy: Lio: Boss... He's still inside, isn't he...? Arsé-kun: *... As is Masanori, possibly. Be careful.* Sheepy: *Careful? Lionel? Surprisingly, those words usually go together quite well. He does try to be more stealthy.* Sheepy: Lio:......*he looks around*.... Arsé-kun: *Let's see... ... Well, mud is starting to creep through the floorboards. That... really can't be good* Sheepy: Lio:....! I have to get a move on! Sheepy: *Lio gives up stealth and starts rushing* Arsé-kun: *Down one of the longer hallways, Lionel spots something- Part of Arryn's wheelchair! The mud is corroding it like it's nothing.* Sheepy: *Lio runs to it!* Arsé-kun: *Arryn himself is not there. Thankfully??* Sheepy: Lio:...He's not with his wheelchair, so where is he...? Sheepy: Lio: Maybe he's with Gramps? Sheepy: Lio: Booossss....! Sheepy: Lio: I gotta look everywhere, just in case! Arsé-kun: *and hurry!* Sheepy: *Lio keeps looking!* Sheepy: Lio: Boooossss....! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Lionel..! Arsé-kun: *He finds Arryn eventually! Sure, Arryn's on the ground and a little crispy around the edges, but he's alive!* Sheepy: Lio: You're here! *he rushes over to Arryn and lifts him up* I'll get you out of here, okay?! Arsé-kun: Arryn: Please. The smell's starting to get to me. Sheepy: Lio: Right! *he starts to escape!* Arsé-kun: Arryn: Keep an eye out. I'd hate for him to clothesline you. Sheepy: Lio: I’ll try! Sheepy: Lio: I’ll protect you no matter what, Boss! So don’t worry. I’m not Bors!