#but unfortunately dgaf comes with age

[uselessdancedata]

remember everyone that eqw claims to not only be a teacher, but a mom as well 😂

SHE BETTER NOT BE A MOM OR A TEACHER she'd be a danger to children

[astro-can]

ninjago headcannons

RONIN VERSION BECAUSE I LOVE HIM

In the game, Ronin is mentioned to have a wife and a daughter. Unfortunately this isn't canon in the real timeline but I am in LOVE with the idea of father Ronin.

100% girl dad. This is why he looked after nya when she was manifesting her abilities.

sure, he's a huge dick and pain in the ass sometimes but you know what he isn't? A BAD DAD

"MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!" "HELL YEAH LETS GET MCDONALDS" *buys 25 happy meals*

he is so dilf core

i mean what

who said that

he's got huge fatherly instincts. Yeah, he usually dgaf when the ninja are in trouble (unless money is involved) but if one of them aren't feeling very good and he happens to notice that, he goes into father mode

nya is feeling left out because she's the only girl? Ronin hears out all her rants and introduces her to his own daughter (who happens to be the same age) and they go on shopping dates together

cole is having trouble controlling his ghost abilities? Ronin gives tips and helps him concentrate (albeit a little harshly), but in the end, cole really improves keeping himself stable

zane short-circuits and starts malfunctioning? Ronin is immediately pulling out his toolbox and fixes him, even adding in premium things like data and upgrades PIXEL for him

jay wants to impress nya? Ronin (begrudgingly) lets him fly REX and lets him take nya on cool flying dates. (...but if jay breaks something, he's banned forever. it hasn't happened yet, but it probably will.)

kai needs to burn off some steam because he's stressed? Ronin brings him to a junkyard and gives him unsupervised access to firecrackers, flamethrowers, small bombs, etc etc and tells him to go wild (see below)

lloyd is feeling upset and guilty? Ronin sits him down and gives him therapy. sure, a bit rough on the sides and he still makes snarky remarks, but makes sure that lloyd hears what he needs to hear. it leaves lloyd feeling a lot better about himself.

Ronin's family is sort of a Spy x Family type thing. He's a thief, and his wife pretends to work as an employee at city hall but she's actually receiving secret missions from the government. they aren't exactly rich, so they both need to work dirty jobs to get money. they end up finding out about each other's identity but they laugh it off and help each other with missions sometimes.

Ronin's daughter is a lot like nya. she's a machine fanatic, good at judo, can steal your wallet in an instant, and insanely smart. she's very aware of what her parents' real jobs are but keeps her mouth shut bc she loves them both and knows that theyre doing it to keep her alive.

her dad disappears for days or weeks at a time but he always comes back with her fave things (probably speckled with blood but she doesn't care) and makes sure to spend time with her afterwards, so all's good.

ANYWAY

THAT CONCLUDES MY HAPPY RONIN HEADCANONS

[oohaena]

happy opening! genevieve (s/h, 21+) here, writing for han haena. (way) more about her under the cut, but i do also have a little profile & background for her if you're not reading all that. i’m available on ims and discord, so just drop a little heart if you’re interested in plotting!

the importance of financial independence is hammered into haena from a young age- soy sauce over eggs and rice, while a really fucking good meal, gets pretty stale when it's all that's in the pantry a week before mama han gets paid. the meagre cheques her father sends quarterly bounce more often than not, and her mom likes to lament that her marriage to him was the biggest mistake she made in her life.

marriage and education are just about the only viable ways out of the working class. with the way her mom talks about her ex, haena decides to work towards the latter. it's at yonsei business school she meets kim hyunwoo, who loves her drive until he realises he'll always be below her career in her list of priorities when she misses their wedding cake tasting for a meeting. he spirals, realises he feels unloved by her, has a quarter life crisis, and moves out of their shared apartment on a thursday afternoon.

he's not the focus of the story, so back to haena, who sells all his crap on karrot the next week. unfortunately, that's still not enough to cover all the cancellation expenses AND her current rent. coincidentally, she finds a flyer advertising an apartment for rent nestled between her windshield wipers. she views it her next day off and moves in the next weekend.

tldr: the brunette career-focused hallmark movie villain, but also living like the do you think a depressed person could make this meme.

has been here 2 months and is already considering breaking her lease early and moving out, because what is up with these vivid ass dreams omg. she wakes up mad as hell at her ex and goes and posts a hate comment on his yoga facebook page. forget kendrick, SHE is the biggest hater. she's chalking it up to the stress of ending such a long relationship + her being considered for a promotion at her job, but the deja vu will start soon...

works odd hours, because her boss dgaf when/how long she works as long as her projects get done. sometimes she's in the office 8am-12am, and sometimes she's at home working 3pm-2am. she codes and shit... don't ask me what she actually does. idk either. she loves her job, but it's also really challenging to go on as normal when her personal life is in shambles. does come off a bit deranged when you interact with her, but she's just an intense person.

her mom still doesn't know her engagement's off, because haena can't quite bear to break the news that her precious daughter's not living the life she's always wanted haena to live.

and honestly, haena's kinda putting it off because telling her mom makes it feel real. it's not that she's in denial--- if her ex came back to her, she'd probably have to go to jail for aggravated assault--- but that she hates that she couldn't have her cake and eat it too. it's just that it's all she hears: how women have to give up their careers for marriage. by getting engaged, she thought she'd beat the odds; unfortunately she doesn't even make it down the aisle.

do not get married just because it seems like the natural conclusion to a long-term relationship. what a lesson to learn the hard way, but haena's always liked her challenges.

power T. does her best to relate, but she's also a triple aquarius, so you should also know not to approach her for anything feelings-related unless you'd like to be smacked in the face with a verbal hammer.

possible meetings: haena's moving furniture @ 3am. your muse knocks on her door, because have some decency? she claims the feng shui here's awful and they get to talking about these weird dreams they're having / your muse runs into haena accosting mr 'excuse me SIRR!!!!!' and badgering him about carbon monoxide alarms, because there is something real weird happening to her / she's passed out, face-down unmoving in the lobby after a work dinner and your muse thinks she's dead

sorry i yapped so much, but anyway. if you're up for your muses to be the other charas in her Big Hallmark Movie Sequel where she gets her redemption arc after being Transformed by People, please hit the like! i'm big on chem & brainstorming, so i'd like to see what we can come up with, instead of set dynamics :^)

[dielitttt]

Astro observations pt 2.🏵

Ppl with fire signs in their chart always have issues w their nose most of the time for example:

most Sagittarius placements usually have issues breathing w their nose

People with a Cancer sun and rising at a Aries degree usually have temper problems most of the time but are very kind hearted at the same time

Capricorn’s suns with Aquarius mercury tell me how it feels to be the smartest one in the room?

Aquarius Chiron and Lilith people tend to always have friends who come and go in their life for no reason and usually tend to be long term friends with people who have Aquarius Chiron 2 because of how they get along so well.

Sagittarius and capricorns r always bestfriends from what I’ve seen, but romantically that shit not finna work 😭😭

Lilith in Scorpio people are not scared to talk about taboo things like death, sex etc. Probably has alot of wounds from trauma in childhood including death and all that type of stuff unfortunately

People w pisces in juno are always so sweet and affectionate even if they have a fire dominate chart

Taurus moons love taking naps at such random times dawg

Yall be saying fire signs dgaf and don’t get jealous and possessive but they do tbh 🤷‍♀️

Ceres in Scorpio people were probably taught to fend for themselves or protect themselves at a young age from things and also maybe has a lot of family secrets or secrets in general. Parents probably took up all their space emotionally because of their own personal issues and probably doesn’t open up to people like that because of that. Is a shoulder to cry on or a healer when someone has been through something.

Aquarius Lilith and Scorpio Lilith people probably like outside sex (I’m sorry😭😭)

People with a more masculine dominant type of chart should be more feminine because of the imbalance of it

People with a Leo signature chart tend to have a gift of being very artistic

Uranus in pisces people are very destructive and weird type of shit come to them so easily. They also most likely have a mutual planet type of thing for example: They could have Uranus in pisces and Neptune in Aquarius since it’s generational.

People with Venus aspecting Saturn probably had a father who was distant or cold towards them. Probably loves giving and getting gifts

Moon-Saturn aspects probably matured and started taking care of themselves at a because mother is overburdened with certain things at a really young age. delayed emotions

Venus-ascendant aspects are maybe people pleasers sometimes

Mars opposition Jupiter people usually have temperament issues even if they have harmonious aspects or non-temperamental positions in their chart

[the-wardens-torch]

LFRP - Falerin Arcita

(Following @painted-foothills​ ‘s lead here and using this more as an updated character profile for my “About” link than an RP solicitation - I’m not sure I have the guts to RP with anyone who isn’t already a mutual and even that’s super hard for me and almost never happens hahafffff.)

Falerin Arcita The Basics ––– –    Age: 22    Birthday: 16th sun of the fifth astral moon (9/15)    Race: Mostly Midlander Hyur with a smidge of Duskwight Elezen    Gender: Cisgender male    Sexuality: Pansexual    Marital Status: Single, never married Physical Appearance ––– –    Hair: Black - Straight and waist-length, usually worn in a ponytail or braid.    Eyes: Royal Blue    Height: 5’11    Build: Angular and long-limbed    Distinguishing Marks: Scars; one slanted over his left eye running from hairline to mid-cheek, another along his jaw line (usually covered by his sideburns) and a third horizontally crossing his right shoulder. Freckles on his face, shoulders and back.    Common Accessories: Leather jewelry, pointy wizard/witch hats, strappy boots/sandals, feathered hairpins, long fancy skirts, crop/tank tops. He tends to be an ostentatious dresser. Personal ––– –    Profession: He considers himself a musician first and foremost - he has a wonderfully deep, smoky voice and sings very soulful, heartfelt songs - some of which he writes himself. He’s also Eorzea’s best accordion player *pause for laughter* and can also play piano and a few other instruments. Aside from that, he makes leather jewelry and accessories that he sells to a handful of independent shops. His “adventurer” job is Summoner, but you wouldn’t know it from talking to/looking at him.    Hobbies: Collecting and writing songs, poems and stories (in print or spoken form,) occasional archery (more as an exercise/meditative practice than for combat reasons.)    Languages: Common, Seeker Miqo’te huntspeak (though he’s pretty out of practice,) a handful of songs, poems and phrases in several other languages.    Residence: Has a room in the Lavender Beds, but is more commonly found crashing at any of a number of friends’ houses around the main city-states.    Birthplace: Arcita - a small port town in the Cieldalaes Islands    Patron Deity: Azeyma    Fears: Abandonment, loss, walking on shaky scaffolding/suspension bridges. Relationships ––– -    Spouse: None    Children: None    Parents: Adoptive Mother - N‘elyrha Kikitu; Bard living in Wellwick Wood (estranged)    Biological Mother - Roxane Seaborne - Inn manager living in the Cieldalaes (has never met her.)    Biological Father - Uther Alcyone; Arcanist living in Idyllshire (estranged until very recently.)    Siblings:  2 maternal half-brothers and 1 maternal half-sister (has never met them, is unaware of their existence.)    Other Relatives: BFF-practically-soul mate Reonora Aestethe - who belongs to @aspected-benefic​    Pets: Ruby (aka Ru-Bee) - A “familiar” of sorts that resembles a sparrow-sized, translucent, red honeybee made of some sort of condensed aether. He is never without her, although she’s not always visible due to a knack for hiding in his clothes, accordion case or travel supplies.   Friend - A feral, fish-loving Tight-Beaked parrot who’s not really a pet so much as an occasional tag-along. She(?)’s loud, obnoxious and not very friendly, but sometimes preens Fal’s hair or tries to eat his jewelry. Lamrei -  A retired Twin Adder cavalry chocobo. She’s got a calm temperament and a penchant for eating any insect or rodent unfortunate enough to cross her path. Traits ––– -    Extroverted / In Between / Introverted    Disorganized / In Between / Organized    Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded    Calm / In Between / Anxious    Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable    Cautious / In Between / Reckless    Patient / In Between /  Impatient    Outspoken / In Between / Reserved    Leader / In Between / Follower    Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic    Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic    Traditional / In Between / Modern    Hard-working / In Between / Lazy    Cultured / In Between / Uncultured    Loyal / In Between / Disloyal    Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful Additional information ––– – Smoking Habit: Nah. Drugs: Indulges in something to soothe the nerves and/or trip balls once in awhile. Alcohol: Not much. He has a glass of wine a few times a sennight, otherwise he only really drinks at gigs and social events, and then just enough to loosen up (although he‘s pretty loose already hahaffff.)

RP Hooks ––– –    Reluctant Mage: Fal doesn’t volunteer that he’s an arcanist/summoner, and really can only be caught using (or even talking about using) magic in dire situations. However, on the rare occasion an experienced mage might see him break out the spells, they would notice that his technique is unrefined and atypical to say the least. He casts via gestures and verbal/auditory components rather than diagrams and symbols, and does not summon -egis, though Ruby can mimic their abilities. He does carry a “grimoire” but closer inspection will reveal that just a book of dirty limericks rebound to look appropriately mystical. As a mage, he’s a unique curiosity at best and a butcher of ancient arts at worst, depending on your perspective.    That’s What They Said: Fal’s into casual sex and will happily go home with/take home people of most any gender/race as long as they have a compatible personality and provide enthusiastic consent. A one night stand could easily turn into a lasting friendship. He also has a great respect for sex workers and adult entertainers of all kinds, and even spent a few years performing in the orchestra at a burlesque house.    Bohemians: Fal performs solo most of the time, but its mostly for the sake of convenience.  He actually loves the company of other creative folks and artists of all types, and is naturally drawn to them. Need to hire a guest musician in your band?  Want some creative leatherworking ideas? Just want to talk poetry? Need people to come to your gallery showing? He’d love to. Even if you’re not a creative type, you can still hire him to play at your nameday party or make you a nice set of wristbands!     Lowlives: Fal isn’t a member of the criminal underworld and doesn‘t actively commit crimes himself, but Eat the Rich and Fuck the Police are two of his favorite phrases.  He’s happy to look the other way or even aid/abet people that fall on the wrong side of the law (within reason.) Please note that this DOES NOT mean he can’t make friends with individual nobility or authority figures, he‘s just inclined to be distrustful of them at first. On the flipside, it also DOES NOT mean he condones violent criminals.

RP Preferences ––– – I actually don’t do in-game, real-time Rping, due to my schedule and pathological shyness/social anxiety (sometimes it takes me a few minutes/hours/days to work up the courage to respond to friendly overtures dasdasdsdfff).  Long-form, paragraph based RPs are my favorite - Discord chats work great for those!   A little darkness is fine - horror, mature themes, angst, combat, injury, but please miss me with that super dark edge lord shit. I’ve seen some Bad Shit IRL and I don’t take kindly to gratuitous cruelty, torture, abuse or violence for its own sake. I’m also not interested in ERP at all, and I‘m not big on shipping or fluff as a goal or focal point. HOWEVER, I’m not against the idea of it if it develops organically.

OOCly I am ––– – -Full disclosure; In my 30s and would rather not RP with minors. -Employed full-time as a veterinary (laboratory) technician at a decent-sized small animal practice. -A longtime RPer - I started with D&D in high school and never looked back. -Very happily married (my partner is an Rper as well, just not into MMOs.) -Ace and honestly dgaf what pronouns you use for me because I’m Tired. -In the PST time zone. Contact Information  ––– –

Discord is my preferred RP method - My handle is Falkyrie #6034

Also, I LOVE getting tagged with character/writing prompt memes - I want them all and will return the favor.

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelorette, season fourteen, episode four: welcome to heteronormative summer camp!

This season is a car wreck, and not the good kind.

I know, I know. “Amanda, is there ever a good car wreck?” I don’t know, ask Holly Hunter and James Spader in Cronenberg Crash how they feel about that1. Ask insurance companies! They would know!

No, this season is a car wreck because not only are the men absolutely wretched - who would have thought we could get worse than the combination of Chad, Chase, Robb(ie) and Dean - but Becca is basically a nonfactor, and production DGAF about spoilers and the casting of literal sex offenders. This has all resulted in some of the most boring television I have ever had the displeasure of viewing.

But alas, I do it for y’all.

The episode opens up right before the third cocktail party, and those without roses are terrified. David / Chicken Man literally fell out of a bunk bed because this show has so many similarities to summer camp. Speaking of, Clay, who is a professional football player, hurt his wrist so badly he had to leave the show. This is the most fucked up summer camp ever, and we haven’t even gotten to Paradise yet.

Ugh. Paradise. Remember back when Paradise was the best part of my summer2?

Star of the Floptastic Fantastic Four, Miles Teller, takes Becca aside to make her feel better after Clay’s departure. And that conversation means talking about the number of kids you want! That’s totally how I relax. Blake wants 3-5 kids, which Becca reacts the same way I do - COMPLETE AND UTTER HORROR. Men always want a bunch of fuckin’ kids because they don’t have to do the work. They don’t have a parasite that feeds on your nutrients for nine months, then you EXPEL that parasite from your body and you’re expected to take care of that parasite for the rest of your lifetime, including using your body to feed them for a while afterwards. Like, it’s a vagina - not a clown car. I fully intend to approach pregnancy as “That Really Cool Thing I Only Want To Do Once, Maybe Twice, Just For The Shits And Gigs of It All.” I can’t wait for my kids to read this blog.

Becca wants to name her daughter “Stevie”, which… I’m not even going to get started on that one. No, wait, I’m going to. I am totally pro-gender neutral names3, but STEVIE? Stevie. You are robbing your child of an adult name if you name them Stevie. No one trusts a 45 year old named Stevie. They both also agree with “Charlie”, which is cute as a shortened version of Charles or Charlotte. I am not calling anyone named Charlie Charlie after the age of 23. Charlie is a fuckboy4. They make out after baby talk, which is not what it sounds like.

Jordan is relishing in David falling out of his bed, and Jordan believes that God willed David’s hospital visit into the universe. Is this what I sound like when I talk about willing shit into existence? I’m going to stop ASAP. Anyway, Jordan, despite being happy David is gone, doesn’t even think it matters - he can woo Becca in 5 minutes as well as he can in 30. Premature ejaculation is common in the Haus of Jordan. He goes off on some nonsense about wearing a tie but not wearing a tie so Becca can get a read on him?

Jordan is doing some Nathaniel Hawthorne-esque symbolism through sartorial choices and I would watch an entire series of Jordan trying to tell women how he feels about them using his clothes rather than his words. Becca presents Jordan with a pair of golden lame hot pants, and Jordan takes that as being the Golden Boy and that Becca clearly thinks his junk is gold. Seriously. Someone greenlight this series.

David comes back while this is occurring, and he looks a fucking wreck. Black eye, nose all banged up - David done fucked himself right up. Jordan acts like David can do anything about the way he looks with his broken nose. Becca does her due diligence and takes him aside, and she tells him how handsome he looks. Becca, you’re trying it. David schmoozes the FUCK out of Becca about how happy he is to be back and how this hurt more to leave her than him. Jordan, still banking on his looks and his looks alone, is completely focused on how terrible David looks. Jordan’s confident he’s getting a rose tonight and David will get sent home simply because of what he looks like.

Jordan is such a delusional monster, but he’s literally not even the worst person there.

Becca, being a saint, offers David a rose because there’s no way David can stand through a 4-6 hour Rose Ceremony.I feel like this is the one form of compassion we’re going to see from these people this season. David relishes in the fact that he gets to show off his bruised face AND his rose to Jordan, and skips off to bed.

And then, David goes, “Hey Jordan, what’s up?” and Jordan is so butt hurt about it.

We head into the Rose Ceremony. Chris, Colton, and David already have roses, so they don’t have to worry about a damn thing.

Jason / Andrew Keegan, Wills, Nick, Christon, Lincoln (BOOOOOOOOOO), Blake, Garrett, Leo, Venmo John, Connor (I think?), Jordan, and Jean Blanc Ralphio are all recipients of this week’s roses.

Bye, Mystery Hottie Ryan and Man Bun Mike. We literally never knew anything about you guys.

Oh, and we’re going to a winter wonderland. We’re off to Park City, Utah4! I wonder if they’re going to leave the country after Lincoln’s eliminated because they can’t travel with a felon!

Someone at the styling team really hates Becca because they put her in a bright red puffer jacket that must have been taken from the set of A Christmas Story: The Musical, LIVE! from last December. Hopefully that’s the closest Pasek and Paul make it to this disaster of a show, but knowing ABC, they’ll find a way. We learn that Garrett, who I hate, gets the one-on-one date.

Assuming they filmed this in February/March, making Garrett and Becca walk the streets of Park City could be considered cruel and unusual punishment. It definitely looks like one of those days that you think it’s warm because of the sun, but a breeze comes through and you think you’ve been slapped in the face. I don’t miss the cold. Becca brings Garrett to a an alpaca shop, which is not what I expected to be. Less alpacas, more sweaters. Becca sees her dad in Garrett, and honestly, this girl got her heart broken on national TV and doesn’t have a dad and clearly is going to look like that in a person.

And then we learn that Lincoln is a flat earther.

Okay, so Lincoln is:

Slimy

Rumored to have issues pooping in public

An actual convicted sexual assaulter

A FUCKING FLAT EARTHER?

AND HE’S BLACK???????????????

I hate being like “Man, this guy is making it look bad for everyone”, but I feel like if my friend Rae, who is also a Nigerian-American, heard any of this stuff about Lincoln, she would find him and chop his head off. He is making Nigerians look bad, and this is after Jackie Aina falsely accused another YouTuber of international bank fraud. Lincoln is worse than accusing someone of international bank fraud.

All the men are looking at him like he’s bonkers. He literally cannot fathom the idea of friction, gravity, or astrophysics. He invites an astrophysicist, the primary viewing group of The Bachelorette, to discuss it over hot chocolate.

I don’t even want to acknowledge Lincoln as a person anymore. Is he gone yet?

Back at the house, we hear Venmo John speak for the first time all season, and it turns out he has a weird voice. Is that mean? He’s talking with Jean Blanc Ralphio, who basically is this season’s anxiety bomb - he just needs to take a deep breath and chill out.

Garrett and Becca take a ski slope up to the top of a bobsledding track, and honestly, I really wish that they had just superimposed footage from Cool Runnings over this entire scene. We meet Shauna Rohbok and Valerie Fleming, who are silver medalists at the US Bobsled team, who also happen to be married to each other. My favorite part is Garrett putting two and two together than these two women are married to each other and that lesbianism isn’t a thing pornography made up and pretending to be super cool with that5.

Cue bobsledding montage.

Becca and Garrett sit down to “dinner”, and Becca immediately compares him to her dad. Garrett’s like “thanks dawg,” and then Becca’s like “okay, time to talk about your former relationships! Time to unveil your deepest personal traumas to me, this camera crew, and the rest of America!” Of course Garrett got married and divorced young - less than three years from dating to divorce, god damn - and he thinks it was to the Wrong Person. She was emotionally abusive and isolated him from the rest of his family, and he was the first member of his family to get divorced so he has Baggage. I mean, I still hate him. But that’s still unfortunate. Garrett reaffirms he’s there For Becca and he wants it to work for them, and that gets him a rose, and a dance in front of a band and a live audience. Again, do we ever hear from these bands again? Or the audience members, at that?

Back at the house, there’s a....

DATE CAAAAAAARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jordan, Chris, Star of War Dogs Miles Teller, Nick, John, Lincoln, Leo, David, Connor (I Think?), Christon, Colton, and Jean Blanc Ralphio are on the date card, which means My Boyfriend Wills is going on the other one-on-one date this week. And a ton of the dudes in the room are P I S S E D about that.

The guys all go to join Becca, who is wearing her best Lumberjack Chic outfit in a wheat field that’s somehow not covered in snow. Are they sure this is really Utah? They’re literally having a lumberjack bash, because… this show has a budget of $15 an episode, and they spent half of it on bobsledding lessons. They are literally going to throw axes and chop wood, because heteronormative activities on an arbitrary scale of masculinity is a great way to measure a man’s ability to be a good husband. Jean Blanc Ralphio, Frat Fink6 and He Who Shall Not Be Named are both disasters at chopping wood. I literally cannot be bothered to write anything positive about this because I do not understand the POINT. At some point the guys are literally lifting and pushing over logs?

This would never work for me. The guys, to make things worse, are split into teams to do a relay for Becca’s heart. There’s a ton of “separating the men from boys” things going on, and I thought that was determined by age and maturity, not by… being able to climb a 30 foot tall log. Maybe that’s just me? The final competition boils down to Venmo John vs Star of the Divergent Series, Miles Teller, and in a shocking twist, Venmo comes in first, and he gets a golden axe7.

If they wanted a date where the men wore plaid, I would much rather have all of them do their best Kurt Cobain impressions in a “grunge themed” group date. I had a much more insensitive punchline to that joke, so I’m just going to leave it at that for now.

It’s time for the After-After-After-After-After Party, and the first person to take Becca aside is Jason / Andrew Keegan, and basically he just talks about how nice it was to see Becca having fun. That’s it. He’s nervous because he cares about Becca so he’s finding it hard to be aloof, and agrees to just embrace that. Okay.

Is Jason working on me? Oh my god. He sounds genuine when he says this. NOOOOOOO, DO NOT LET ME FALL FOR ANDREW KEEGAN’S CULT!!!8 Colton tells Becca he’s been in love before, and this dude is a virgin who’s been in love? What the fuck? Jordan is wearing the hot pants Becca gave him under his clothes, and honestly, Aaron Samuels wishes. He takes off his pants to show her and kiss Becca, and she literally tells him she can’t take him seriously before sashaying away to the other men on the couch.

Jesus, Jordan is annoying. Colton and Frat Fink are irritated especially, and is the next to join the Jordan is Not Here for the Right Reasons camp. They think his behavior is disrespectful, and Colton wants his shenanigans to be over. Jordan asks if Colton thinks Jordan should be tired of all these men taking him aside to talk to him, and Colton’s like “yeah… because you’re annoying, dude.” He calls Jordan a motherfucker, a clown, all kinds of things. Colton calls himself “One of the Good Guys”, something I can certifiably say is unlikely to be true. Jordan is harmless and Becca clearly doesn’t see him as a real option, so this is all unnecessary.

Jean Blanc Ralphio takes Becca side to present her with a perfume, and it is at this moment that I realize his FIRST AND LAST NAME is Jean Blanc. This entire time I thought Jean Blanc was his first and middle name and I let out an entirely involuntary “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.” at my office. The perfume is called “Miss Becca Blanc,” which is so weird. We don’t even find out what it smells like before Jean Blanc Ralphio tries to exchange the perfume for a kiss, which Becca is not about. She can smell something unpleasant in the air, and it’s not JBR’s cologne - it’s Desperation, by Calvin Klein. At this time, Leo comes in to interrupt9 and that basically starts Jean Blanc Ralphio on a shame spiral. He wants to turn that frown upside dizity, but he doesn’t know how.

He decides to take life by the balls and interrupt Lincoln’s time with Becca. He wants to affirm how he feels about Becca, and tells her that he’s falling in love with her.

Basically, this is Jean Blanc Ralphio:

Becca’s response:

Me, at home:

Also Me:

Becca doesn’t know anything about this person, or what brought on these feelings so quickly, but Becca is overwhelmed. Not just whelmed. She’s not even close to the same page, they’re in separate chapters. It may feel like it’s been a year, but it’s the fourth episode, Jean Blanc Ralphio. You feel NOTHING except a mild erection, and Becca’s allowed to not want you there anymore because she thinks your feelings are deeper than hers and she doesn’t know if she can get there with you. Becca asks if she can walk him out.

Jean Blanc Ralphio asks about his gift on his way out, and Becca offers to give it back. Uh, Becca? It was a gift. Likely it’s water with food coloring in it and a Microsoft Word label, he doesn’t need it back. And that’s when Jean Blanc Ralphio digs his grave.

Basically, Jean Ralphio expected to give Becca a gift and that would get her so aroused and turned on that she would fall madly in love with him straight away, and confessing his love to her was simply a tactic, not his actual sentiment. He fully admits to basically saying that because he wanted to stay there and because he thought that’s what she wanted from him. Uh, this girl just had her heart shattered on national TV from a dude’s insincerity, it’s the exact OPPOSITE of what she wants right now. Becca is so mad and basically shoves him out the door. Becca goes to talk to the other dudes in pure anger, and cancels the rest of the night. No one’s getting the group date rose.

The next day, My Boyfriend Wills has been prepped with the knowledge that Becca had a hard night the night before. Everyone saw Becca’s genuine, real anger the night before, and they have all realized Rebecca ain’t no one to fuck with. Becca’s an emotional mess from the night before still, and she feels weird.

Probably because you haven’t dealt with having your heart broken on national television, Rebecca.

My Boyfriend Wills approaches Becca in the snow, and he gives her a huge hug. They both talk about not wanting to talk about what happened the previous night, so of course that’s going to be the main focus on the evening. They’re going to go on snowmobiles so they don’t have to talk about anything, and Becca has a wonky eyelash. They have a snowball fight, My Boyfriend Wills has an ASMR voice, and it’s all pretty wonderful. They go to dinner, and Wills reveals that his Deep Romantic Trauma is from his ex-girlfriend wanting to open up their relationship and him not being game for that. He refers to this as a “Hall Pass”, which implies that it’s less wanting Openness, but her looking for an excuse to cheat. But Wills isn’t afraid of commitment whatsoever, he’s afraid of not being Enough.

Oh, Wills. I get that.

But that honesty and respect for Becca gets Wills a rose. Yas, My Boyfriend Wills.

Back at the house, the dudes who got fucked over by Jean Blanc’s fuckery cutting the group date short - Nick and Connor (I think?) - and Chris Harrison comes by for five seconds to reveal that Becca knows her choices and there isn’t going to be a cocktail party that evening, it’s going straight to the Rose Ceremony. Nick and Connor (I think?) are upset and fucked up about this.

Becca:

It’s time for the Rose Ceremony.

Leo, Colton, Blake, Jason, Connor (I think?), He Who Shall Not Be Named, John, Frat Fink, David, and Jordan get roses. Bye Nick, Bye Christon10. Jordan is shook he’s in last place, even though he’s been there before.11

Oh, and we’re off to Vegas!

Next Week: Tons of Vegas references! The Bellagio fountain! Becca is feeling amazing! Frat Fink is this guy’s “what about my attention? I’m better than these guys!” And David vs. Jordan in the desert for my favorite part of the season - the two-on-one.

See you then!

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

I’m so mad my hottie mystery banjo boyfriend is a MAGAhead, I cannot.

Oh my god, not only is Jordan’s identity Being Ridiculously Good-Looking, he also feels the need to bring up his crotch enough that I’m genuinely worried he might really be a Ken Doll down there.

The only good part of this week’s group date was the butts. Oh my god, the butts.

Seriously, was this season lit with the Benjamin Franklin’s lightbulb?

Okay, but god BLESS Jean Blanc Ralphio for having a name but also providing me with the opportunity to look at a bunch of gifs of  my Future Husband Ben Schwartz for this recap. #soloboloforevolo

I love that My Boyfriend Wills has a sweatshirt with his name on it.

Has the Rose Ceremony order always had the implication of favor? I didn’t know it was an official ranking of where you are to the lead.

Super Telling Of How Terrible This Season Is: this episode didn’t get a “funny behind the scenes moment featuring the guys while the credits roll” scene.

Or if you’re my mother, ask James Spader in general - she has this weird theory he’s a weirdo and it’s my favorite thing. Like, she cannot deduce whether he’s a weird person or he’s really, really good at playing weird characters. I love his sliminess. ↩︎

Now it’s Claws. Are you watching Claws? You should be fucking watching Claws, god damn it. It's on Hulu! Get on it! ↩︎

Hi Jordan! ↩︎

Fun Fact: for years, I thought Park City was named because they had an Olympic Park there. Text STOP to stop useless facts about my life! ↩︎ ↩︎

My other favorite part? Shauna Rohbok is a lesbian Mormon. ↩︎

My friends call Chris Rat Fink, but I think Frat Fink is an even better variation because he totally was the gross frat guy in college. ↩︎

Something tells me Jordan is having a conniption somewhere. ↩︎

Then again, it would be the biggest compliment to be hot enough to be offered a spot in this cult. ↩︎

He is so shrouded in darkness and his hair I literally had to guess based on a floral print and a voice who this is. It could have been anyone. ↩︎

God, I hope Christon makes it into paradise and they bring back Scallop Fingers / Christen / Krysten / Kiersten and we get their names confused. ↩︎

He also compares himself to a sponge, and Monet X Change would like a FUCKING WORD. ↩︎

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: 2019 Training Camp Closes

Hockey is back! For real this time! The next time you read one of these New Look Sabres articles it’s going to be preceded by a Sabres regular season game! All the players we’re about to celebrate and or lament aside, if you like hockey it’s just nice to have meaningful games again! I intentionally post this before the final cuts come out and we have a clear look at the Opening Night roster. I think that reveal is something obscenely special. Not that there’s a scenario you’d hear it here first. Either way this article this morning is going to come in two parts: a somewhat tortured look back on 2019 Training Camp followed by Regular Season Predictions. I am going to try to be unconventional with my forecasts for the new Sabres season. I went back and looked at what I said last year and it’s a bit of a trip. I made 4 predictions and got 2… and a half right. I said the Sabres would be over .500 in October. That was controversial at the time, but I was right! I predicted Rasmus Dahlin would score his first goal before Columbus Day, but I was wrong about that. I predicted Jack Eichel would get the C. I’m very happy I was right about that but not too much of a crazy prediction with O’Reilly getting shipped out I suppose. I predicted the Rochester Americans would dominate the North Division which they did but they didn’t win it. Stick around or skip ahead and see what you think about my predictions this go around.

I can’t imagine we’ll look back on this Training Camp all that fondly. Yeah, we got a nice look at Henri Jokiharju and Victor Olofsson, but those guys weren’t exactly surprises. My High School Senior quote was a little Maya Angelou maxim that struck a chord for me at the time: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget the way you made them feel.” Unfortunately I think the feelings of anxiety will stick with us in retrospect. Jason Botterill gave anyone who has watched this team for more than a couple years anxiety. Hardly anyone was shipped out. Alex Nylander and… that’s it. Hopefully as you read these words Jason Botterill is finalizing a trade or putting in final cuts with Ralph Krueger or both, but this Training Camp will forever be remembered for how we just didn’t know what the hell was going on! I could write an essay on the Rasmus Ristolainen situation. If he isn’t in the lineup Thursday night I can’t imagine he wouldn’t have been shipped out. All the drama of asking for a trade (which he definitely did) aside, that broken relationship should have been sorted out in July. I look forward to reading Jason Botterill’s memoirs or listening to him getting a little tipsy on Spitting Chicklets in a couple years because there must be a whole different level of this story that we don’t get to hear under normal circumstances. I just can’t imagine that whole situation is as dumb as it looks. They built the roster this offseason to exist without him! I literally can’t even with that. How about something, anything else.

This training camp belonged to Dylan Cozens. Our first pick in the 2019 Draft impressed mightily and he almost secured a spot on the roster. At the end of the day though you got to be thankful for another year for him to develop. At his age another year figuring it out will be helpful. John Gilmour and Will Borgen fought their hardest to get a spot but don’t make the final cuts. Gilmour especially had some hop in his stride throughout Training Camp and every Preseason game he appeared in. I will be very interested to see where he goes and what he does, whether that be Rochester or Buffalo. Almost exactly that thinking comes to mind with Curtis Lazar as well. He was a guy drafted with a role in mind on the Ottawa Senators. Like a lot of things in the last few years with that organization it went bad. Lazar tried to pull a Lazarus this Preseason and got damn close to pulling it off. How do I complete this bible joke… hmm… but I suppose he can’t raise from the dead because he’s not Jesus? Hmm, yeah I went up the stream without a paddle there. I do look forward to what happens with Curtis Lazar. Even if he needs to bounce around the AHL lineup I think he’s still got a left to give. We’ll see if he makes me look like a fool. Last season ended and I was one of those guys calling for Casey Mittelstadt and Tage Thompson to get jacked. Both guys are too important to be pushed off the puck. Mittelstadt kinda showed by the last preseason game while Thompson came to camp having added a couple dozen pounds of pure Canadian prairie beef! He made me proud and I think his second shot at the Sabres roster will be interesting if not encouraging. Evan Rodrigues was a guy I, like many, had pinned for a bigger role on the Sabres this season. Unfortunately he didn’t blow my socks off at any point during Camp. Hopefully he turns on once the games matter. Finally, what did we learn about the coaching staff this Training Camp? Well other than Ralph Krueger being a pretty good media diplomat not very much. A few interesting things were sprinkled here or there about this assistant coach or that assistant coach, but nothing jumps out except a couple of comments appeasing bad players. Unlike Phil Housley I still kinda believe Ralph Krueger won’t actually go through with overplaying bad players but I am liable to be wrong on that prediction!

Alright, enough teasing: let’s make some decisions we’re going to regret in a short while! Let’s make some predictions! The whole .500 prediction from last year, even though I was right, was a little weird. All that means is winning more games than you lose. I suppose .500 is a sorter way of writing that out but for any team that is even kinda good .500 is not exactly what you’re thinking about. For us it was special because this team has sucked for so long. Whether or not the team on the ice is stat-for-stat ready for it we have to raise our expectations to nothing short of playoffs! This season the Sabres will never crack the top 2 of the Atlantic Division but they will be defending a wildcard spot from about early November onward. There are only two wildcards in the East, I know but the outside of Montreal, Florida and Carolina I think we’re overestimating what we’re going to be dealing with to get that spot. Second prediction: Not so brave but nonetheless necessary: both of Jack Eichel and Rasmus Dahlin get over 90 points. Extension on that: Dahlin gets nominated for the Norris Trophy but loses to some washed-up old shit. How about some more wishful predictions: the Rochester Americans won’t disappoint us in the first round of the Calder Cup playoffs again. That forecast I dropped like I DGAF because its hard to care about the Amerks for me after hardcore first round playoff disappointment the last two years. Anyway, one last oracle reading: the Sabres are going to be very good against their division this year only having a losing record against Boston. I just get the feeling Ralph Krueger is going to be one of those guys who makes them treat every divisional game like a massive rivalry. So there you go: predictions! You have 82 regular season games ahead to reference back to this and grill me! I am ready, baby! Give me your worst!

You’ll notice Sabres twitter’s greatest optimist did not actually say whether or not he believes Buffalo will qualify for the 2020 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Well, observant reader, you’re right. I didn’t because that result has moved out of the realm of fun prediction fodder and into the realm of angry last-minute rant. Look I know the predictions largely have the Sabres missing the playoffs for the ninth straight year. I don’t disagree with anyone’s methodology on that. Pending another roster move which may or may not come there is a lot of a 76-point team still here locked and loaded to disappoint us. All that doesn’t matter to me. This club has used up every last year they’re allowed not to be in the playoffs in this rebuild. Never mind rebuild 1.0, in the 2.0 version since Tim Murray was fired we have arrived in year three where it needs to be playoffs or bust. I don’t care about the implications for the jobs of Botterill and Krueger, we have all season to discuss that. Playoffs are not something you can go without as an organization at this point, never mind the hockey team. It’s past the time. Now is the time. Don’t tell me about why there isn’t a bonified 2C or enough good right wingers or how player x, y and z are anchors on both the salary cap and on the ice. Those are excuses next to the towering necessity of making the fucking playoffs! I said earlier, and I’ll repeat it here as I will on twitter dozens of times this season I’m sure: Whether or not the team on the ice is stat-for-stat ready for it we have to raise our expectations to nothing short of playoffs! After all, the NHL is shite league and we all know it. The St. Louis Blues won the Stanley Cup last season after the regular season they had. Anything is possible in this ridiculous, man-swing-stick game.

Ah, that rant felt good to get off my chest. Drop a like, share and comment. Grill me for those predictions or my summation of what Training Camp was like. Hell, tell me why expecting the playoffs this season is foolish. You’re wrong, but I welcome telling you all the reasons it needs to happen again. I can’t wait for Thursday night and I especially cannot wait for Saturday night where I’m going to the home opener! Oh yeah, Captains Night! Treat of my wife, I get to go alone! You may think that sounds sad but good hockey is something a guy like me hollers and grunts and groans watching, and my wife doesn’t like all those stray sounds. Either way Hockey is back, and I have a blog to talk about it on! Thanks for reading and I promise I’ll try to make this a fun experience for every Sabres fan who reads this. This is your blog. This blog doesn’t belong to the analytics or the man-alytics or even the bloggers. This blog belongs to the fans and I hope to be your voice even more this season. Don’t ever be afraid to reach out and tell me if I’m not getting it right at any point. We can be a team just like the one we enjoy watching against our better interest sometimes. So let’s go do that hockey! Let’s Go Sabres!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Reminder: Go read Southtowns Tickets’ Sabres Season Preview this week, I wrote it! Also, the Third Annual Pod-a-thon is Saturday the 12th and I hope to see you there!

[dailycamilacabello]

Growing Into Yourself

Lena Dunham interviews Camila Cabello about what keeps her sane.

Camila Cabello is only nineteen, but she's already a tried and tested veteran: a member of girl group Fifth Harmony since she was fifteen — having left last month amid much internet fanfare — she can explain the ins and outs of the glittery but fickle pop-music industry like someone much older. It's this candor about the joys and challenges of her profession (as well as a killer voice and a DGAF attitude) that initially made me a Camila fan, and I was thrilled at the chance to ask her about what keeps her sane, life as a Latina in the public eye during this election year, and the commodification of teen sexuality.

She was wise, open, and giggly, and I found myself listening to her social-media advice like she was my middle-aged therapist. This interview, given a few days before her exit from Fifth Harmony, is evidence that she's only just begun to tell her story and that what comes next will be on her own terms (and may involve space travel to Planet Sexy).

Lena Dunham: You were thrust very quickly into the world of teen pop, and obviously there are stories of people who've been really taken care of in that world, but there are stories of people who've really lost their way. What have been the things that have kept you from going off the rails?

Camila Cabello: I think what's kept me from, like you said, going off the rails, is my mom. I have my mom with me all the time. I literally don't think I could function without her. She's been through so much in her life that's real shit. She came from Cuba. My family came from places where a lot of people didn't have food to eat. Whenever there's stuff here, little stuff that could make you angry or makes you forget that we have so much to be grateful for just having hot water, my mom makes sure to remind me of what's important. I'm so happy to have her around. I really don't think I could do it without her.

LD: That's amazing. Speaking of your mom, she is Cuban. I want to ask about being a Latina in the music industry. Although there is diversity, you're online and you deal with the craziness of trolls and the kind of inherent racism that comes with living in America right now. I wondered if you ever feel that? How do you feel strong and connected to your identity when we're living in such a strange time with so much hateful rhetoric around difference?

CC: The best decision that I've taken in my career thus far has been this year I've just stayed away from social media. I don't go on it, and I just keep myself focused on getting better and growing as an artist and finding different ways to grow as a person. It's just kept me grounded, and I don't have 1,000 people thinking that they didn't like my shoes. Even though I know that there's way more support than there is hate, I don't have that in my head. That was one thing. Anyway, as far as the Latina thing, I feel like this has kind of been a crazy year for us because of everything that happened with the election. I didn't even realize how much racism was still prominent in our country. I live in Miami, and there's so many cultures there. I remember going to school, and 99 percent of the students there, their parents didn't have English as their first language. I don't come from a place where that's even a thing, you know what I mean? There's Cubans, there's Puerto Ricans, there's Haitians. It's a melting pot. Just like I imagine New York is. If you're a racist living in Miami, you got to move because you're going to be seeing your worst nightmare everywhere. I saw so many videos and so many Latino anchors from news that I watch interviewing people that just hated us and thought that we were inferior. It made me realize, Whoa, this is really still happening. I feel like in a way that's just kind of made me prouder of my roots. To be honest with you, I didn't think that I would be as politically outspoken as I was this year about the election. I know that it's a really personal decision, voting.

LD: This is the first year you could vote, right?

CC: Yeah, this is the first year I could vote. All of the things that were being spoken about hit so close to home, to me being an immigrant and being a Latina, that I just felt a responsibility to stick up for my people and my culture. Just seeing all of the debates and me and my family around talking. Seeing all of the passion in their eyes because they're the people being spoken about. Now and forevermore, I'm going to stick up for immigrants and I'm going to stick up for Hispanic people and their rights. I feel like that's just my job.

LD: That's really beautiful. Speaking of using your voice, there's a lot of pressure on young women to present themselves as full-time sex symbols. I wonder how you balance being who you are with the demand of putting forth an image of constant young, free, excited sexuality? Have you ever had to push back against something that someone was asking you to do?

CC: Oh my God. Yeah, definitely. Especially with being a girl group, there's been a lot of times where people have tried to sexualize us to just get more attention. Unfortunately, sex sells. There's definitely been times where there's stuff that I have not been comfortable with and I've had to put my foot down. There's nothing wrong with showing sexuality. If you have that inside, it's just an expression of who you are. If you want to share that with people, that's amazing. I love that. Look at Rihanna. She's so sexy. She comes from Planet Sexy. I worship her. I really, really do. I definitely think being a young girl, there's a time where — like when you're in middle school or when you first start liking boys — you don't really feel comfortable. You remember that time when you first got your period, or when your boobs started coming in, that you were like, This is weird. You have to grow into yourself. I feel like it's been tricky because we've had to grow into ourselves while being in front of the world and while making songs that did have a lot of sexual undertones.

LD: Like the song that my partner Jack wrote for you, "Dope." It's beautiful, and your voice sounds beautiful on it, but it's definitely about a sexual infatuation, and that is what people want to hear from young women if they're sort of given the choice.

CC: Totally. I've realized that growing into myself now, I think two years ago I would've been afraid to sing about that. That's completely natural because I wasn't ready yet. I think the thing that I would say to young women is, if you're not ready for it, put your foot down.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

The Rules For Matching Your Trainers To Your Outfit

http://fashion-trendin.com/the-rules-for-matching-your-trainers-to-your-outfit/

The Rules For Matching Your Trainers To Your Outfit

It seems unbelievable that trainers were once only appropriate for gym-goers, shoplifters and rappers with enough swag to pull off full streetwear looks all day, every day. Right now, though, the sneaker market is booming. The relaxing of dress codes means you can wear your kicks to almost any occasion – and who doesn’t love shoes that are less likely to leave your feet in ribbons of skin after a day’s wear? That’s right, nobody.

There’s a lot of choice, but unfortunately it’s not that easy to slip into something more comfortable. There are rules for wearing trainers well – which we take very, very seriously. Sure, minimalist designs go with most things in your wardrobe, but what about the trend for chunky, ugly sneakers? Or retro runners? Or skater-style slip-ons?

Helpfully, we’ve written them all down here so you never put a foot wrong.

Bold Trainers

The Rule: Pair With Simple, Statement-Free Clothing

Luxury, minimalist sneakers may be the shoes that convinced men to do the unthinkable (wear sports shoes with a suit) but right now, rumblings of a mutiny are afoot and big, bold trainers are on the march. Oversized soles, clashing colours, larger-than-life logos and – dare we say it – downright garish designs are having their day. There’s a new breed of trainer in town that DGAF about clean lines.

With all that attention seeking going on, you’ll need to tell the rest of your look to chill out a bit. The Guardian’s menswear editor, Helen Seamons, says: “The trick to styling statement trainers is to play down the rest of your outfit. Think Balenciaga’s dad-core look – straight-fit jeans and a very regular-looking shirt or sweatshirt will do.

“You’ll [also] need to stick to plain colours and avoid big logos and prints, or you risk an outfit that becomes too shouty.” Easy does it guys, easy does it.

Retro Trainers

The Rule: Wear With Modern Pieces

In an age of global uncertainty and bizarre daily political developments, is it any surprise that we’re getting all misty eyed and nostalgic for times gone by? Retro trainers are the footwear equivalent of battening down the hatches, sticking on some Britpop and mentally blocking out utter chaos of the 21st century.

Throwback trainers aren’t an excuse to crack out a highly flammable pastel tracksuit though. They should nod to the past but be firmly planted in the present. “Reinventing retro trainers can be difficult,” says George Nicholson, deputy editor at The Idle Man. “Cropped trousers, however, are perfect for giving your shoes a new look. Team with an overcoat and a simple T-shirt [or sweatshirt] and you’ve got a contemporary spin.”

Another style switch up you can make is to pair them with luxurious wool trousers for an eye-catching high-low combination.

Slip-Ons

The Rule: Wear With Classic, Well-Cut Clothing

Trainers on their own are already conducive to happy feet, but take away the faff of lacing up and you’ve got a genuine feat of human ingenuity. Until fairly recently, only skaters ‘got it’, but now slip-ons are for anyone in favour of kicking their shoes off: i.e. everyone.

It’s not the noughties though, and (presumably) you’re not desperately hoping that Avril Lavigne will notice you, so steer clear of anything that’s textbook ‘Sk8er Boi’. “The classic Vans silhouette was everywhere this season, but the style went high-end: Tom Ford, Common Projects and Givenchy are just a few of the brands [which produced their own take],” says Paul Higgins, brand stylist for Reiss.

“[Try teaming] this classic shoe shape with navy linen separates or a seersucker suit.” The takeaway? You’re looking to achieve suave slip-on style here, not scuffed-up stoner chic, so think tailored lines and muted colours.

Terrace Trainers

The Rule: Wear With Smart-Casual Pieces

America, you can keep your basketball high-tops because quite frankly, when it comes to true sports footwear icons, the terrace trainer (popularised on England’s football terraces) is untouchable. Okay, we may be – slightly – biased but there’s a reason that the terrace trainer’s gum soles have been pounding the pavement for decades; they’re truly classic kicks.

As such a ubiquitous shoe, however, there’s every danger of being mistaken for a rain-sodden teenager chilling at the shopping centre on Saturday. “Terrace trainers provide an instant way add a dash of vintage to a outfit,” says Phill Tarling, a menswear stylist who has worked with the likes of Tom Hardy and John Hurt. “When it comes to styling, try getting smart.”

That means swerving the joggers and keeping it classy by teaming with heritage pieces like wool trousers, macs and houndstooth coats, or contemporary staples like cropped trousers and chambray shirts. Leave the football scarf at home, too.

Minimal Trainers

The Rule: Wear With Simple, Pared-Back Pieces

Cast your mind back 10 or so years, if you will. Minimal trainers weren’t a ‘thing’ and the closest you’d get to inconspicuous was a pair of Converse Chuck Taylors, which (though admittedly great) are pretty standard issue. Then came the minimal movement, when everything got a Scandinavian dose of good taste and designers began to rein in the crazy.

Minimal trainers are really, really, ridiculously good looking, so you’ll need to keep the surrounding pieces simple and the lines of your outfit sleek to do them justice. Think tailored separates, pared-back normcore or something more a little more formal. “Styling a sharp suit with trainers is one of my favourite looks for the office,” says Seamons.

“A pair of plain leather lace-ups from Common Projects or Eytys will look smart and modern, though the high street has lots of versions from as little as £25. The most important point is to keep them pristine by investing in some shoe wipes to restore the box-fresh look for every outing.” It’s not just the cut of your clothes that should be clean.

Lifestyle Runners

The Rule: Wear With Luxe Sportswear & Tailored Pieces

Technology without pulse-quickening design is never satisfactory. Case in point? Tablets that aren’t iPads. We don’t care what they can do if they’re not wrapped in cool-to-the-touch curved aluminium. Thankfully, high-tech trainers have finally figured this out. So, alongside jargony materials and cushion technology, lifestyle runners now have beauty to match the brains.

When styling, you shouldn’t completely shy away from their sporting credentials, but you don’t want to look like you’re en route to the gym either. Sporty but sharp is the aim, says Nicholson. “Nike Flyknits and Adidas Ultra Boosts are perfect for adding an element of streetwear to your look.” He recommends tailored overcoats or distressed denim to counterbalance the gym vibe, but you need an athletic element somewhere in your look, so consider a hoodie or luxe slimline joggers. Rather than, say, a sweatband.

High-Tops

The Rule: Wear With Casual Pieces

Chances are, your first encounter with high-tops was as an awkward teen, rebelling against ‘the man’ by conforming to the perennial shoe choice of angry adolescents everywhere. We’re optimistic sorts, so we’re assuming that you’ve ditched the me-against-the-world mentality, which means it’s now time to reconsider this trainer style – and how to wear it post-high school.

“When wearing high-tops, think more smart-casual, less student union,” says Higgins. He recommends slim selvedge jeans, a flannel shirt and worker jacket for a classic dose of Americana, but they also work with everything from tailored chinos to combat pants, patterned knitwear to minimalist bombers. If it’s casual but not sloppy, you’ve got an all-star look every time.

[ashleyjacksonblog]

Here’s How Long You Should Wait To Text Back Someone You Just Started Dating

When you first start dating someone new, figuring out texting etiquette can be a bit tricky. We’ve all experienced that anxious feeling after waiting for what seems like an eternity for them to text you back, and then, when they finally do, we’ve all asked ourselves, “How long should I wait to text him?”

To be honest, I’m not sure that there is any one right answer to this question. Mostly because the truth of the matter is, plotting how long you’re going to wait to respond to a text message instead of just naturally responding as your schedule permits is a form of playing games. It’s important to note that playing games is a form of manipulation, and before you engage in it, you should ask yourself what exactly you’re expecting to achieve by doing this.

Ultimately, in the larger scheme of things, how long you wait or don’t wait to respond to a text message is most likely not going to make a person with genuine interest in you like or dislike you more. The guys who typically respond positively to games are more often than not the guys who are in it for the chase, also known as players. Unfortunately, guys who fall into this category are usually showing interest for the wrong reasons.

Although players may seem to be responding “well” (i.e., they are eager to meet up, they’re double texting you, and they overall seem super interested in you) to ignored texts and long reply times, these kinds of games only work for a little while. At some point, one of you is bound to lose interest, purely because relationships built on pretending not to care or trying to seem unavailable rarely make it past a certain point.

That being said, if you decide to go down this road to make yourself seem a bit less available than you actually are, there are some things you should take into consideration.

If you’re dating someone new and worried that responding to their text too soon might make you seem too available, first ask yourself, what kind of texter are they? How do they respond when you text them first? Are there a couple minutes in between each of their texts? Are there a couple minutes separating their texts in the beginning of the convo that turn into larger, 20-minute gaps? Do they like to text first, then wait ages to respond to you, if they do at all? Or do they take half a day to a full 24 hours to respond to every single text, making any sort of back-and-forth rhythm impossible?

The safest course of action is to reflect your partner’s own texting habits right back at them. This is a pretty foolproof way of meeting them at the same interest level, while also ensuring that you’re not being too aloof.

Like I mentioned earlier, the main reason people spend time contemplating how long they should wait to reply to a text is because they want to seem less available and interested than they actually are. Another way to achieve this is to simply be less available. Devote more of yourself to things and add some new activities to your schedule.

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. How long you take to respond to a text message is extremely arbitrary, and depending on the dating history of the person you’re seeing, they are probably going to equate your behavior to the behavior of interested and uninterested romantic partners from their past. By being arbitrarily aloof in the hopes that it’s just aloof enough to be read as the right amount of interested and uninterested, you run the risk of convincing people with genuine interest in you that you aren’t interested in them, leaving open a window for someone else to swoop in and catch their eye. If, however, you go out of your way to comfortably fill your schedule, you are accomplishing so many more productive things and this will actually affect your ability to respond.

Been wanting to get in shape? Perfect, then it’s time to start hitting the gym or enroll in a fitness class. And guess what? That’s right, you’ll be away from your phone for a bit. Planning to hang out with your bestie? Awesome! How about turning off your phone so you can really enjoy their company without distractions? Instead of checking your phone compulsively in class or while at work, put it on silent and check it during your break.

The next time you meet up with them, not only will they be totally impressed with how multi-faceted you are, but you’ll actually have transformed yourself into the person that you otherwise were putting effort into seeming more like — someone who’s got too much going on to let someone they’re dating consume them.

Or, better yet, you could DGAF about the whole situation and respond to his text whenever you want, despite how it might come off. Anyone who’s worth their salt will be super pumped to hear from you exactly when they hear from you.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

Here’s How Long You Should Wait To Text Back Someone You Just Started Dating

from Meet Positives http://ift.tt/2fLQu2b via IFTTT

[chadpetersondatingblog]

Here’s How Long You Should Wait To Text Back Someone You Just Started Dating

When you first start dating someone new, figuring out texting etiquette can be a bit tricky. We’ve all experienced that anxious feeling after waiting for what seems like an eternity for them to text you back, and then, when they finally do, we’ve all asked ourselves, “How long should I wait to text him?”

To be honest, I’m not sure that there is any one right answer to this question. Mostly because the truth of the matter is, plotting how long you’re going to wait to respond to a text message instead of just naturally responding as your schedule permits is a form of playing games. It’s important to note that playing games is a form of manipulation, and before you engage in it, you should ask yourself what exactly you’re expecting to achieve by doing this.

Ultimately, in the larger scheme of things, how long you wait or don’t wait to respond to a text message is most likely not going to make a person with genuine interest in you like or dislike you more. The guys who typically respond positively to games are more often than not the guys who are in it for the chase, also known as players. Unfortunately, guys who fall into this category are usually showing interest for the wrong reasons.

Although players may seem to be responding “well” (i.e., they are eager to meet up, they’re double texting you, and they overall seem super interested in you) to ignored texts and long reply times, these kinds of games only work for a little while. At some point, one of you is bound to lose interest, purely because relationships built on pretending not to care or trying to seem unavailable rarely make it past a certain point.

That being said, if you decide to go down this road to make yourself seem a bit less available than you actually are, there are some things you should take into consideration.

If you’re dating someone new and worried that responding to their text too soon might make you seem too available, first ask yourself, what kind of texter are they? How do they respond when you text them first? Are there a couple minutes in between each of their texts? Are there a couple minutes separating their texts in the beginning of the convo that turn into larger, 20-minute gaps? Do they like to text first, then wait ages to respond to you, if they do at all? Or do they take half a day to a full 24 hours to respond to every single text, making any sort of back-and-forth rhythm impossible?

The safest course of action is to reflect your partner’s own texting habits right back at them. This is a pretty foolproof way of meeting them at the same interest level, while also ensuring that you’re not being too aloof.

Like I mentioned earlier, the main reason people spend time contemplating how long they should wait to reply to a text is because they want to seem less available and interested than they actually are. Another way to achieve this is to simply be less available. Devote more of yourself to things and add some new activities to your schedule.

Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. How long you take to respond to a text message is extremely arbitrary, and depending on the dating history of the person you’re seeing, they are probably going to equate your behavior to the behavior of interested and uninterested romantic partners from their past. By being arbitrarily aloof in the hopes that it’s just aloof enough to be read as the right amount of interested and uninterested, you run the risk of convincing people with genuine interest in you that you aren’t interested in them, leaving open a window for someone else to swoop in and catch their eye. If, however, you go out of your way to comfortably fill your schedule, you are accomplishing so many more productive things and this will actually affect your ability to respond.

Been wanting to get in shape? Perfect, then it’s time to start hitting the gym or enroll in a fitness class. And guess what? That’s right, you’ll be away from your phone for a bit. Planning to hang out with your bestie? Awesome! How about turning off your phone so you can really enjoy their company without distractions? Instead of checking your phone compulsively in class or while at work, put it on silent and check it during your break.

The next time you meet up with them, not only will they be totally impressed with how multi-faceted you are, but you’ll actually have transformed yourself into the person that you otherwise were putting effort into seeming more like — someone who’s got too much going on to let someone they’re dating consume them.

Or, better yet, you could DGAF about the whole situation and respond to his text whenever you want, despite how it might come off. Anyone who’s worth their salt will be super pumped to hear from you exactly when they hear from you.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Subscribe to Elite Daily’s official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don’t want to miss.

Here’s How Long You Should Wait To Text Back Someone You Just Started Dating

from Meet Positives http://ift.tt/2fLQu2b via IFTTT