#but ultimately is a loser so he fails

[littleravenette]

canon novel kim suho design my beloved

also bonus llojavi for you all <3

[jeankirsteinsgrlfrnd]

NSFW AoT boys x reader and how they would respond to trying “No Nut November”

no nut november

ft: eren, connie, levi, jean, erwin, porco, zeke, armin

cw: smut ? but it’s pretty tame- not really descriptive

18+ MDNI NSFW

eren thinks no nut november is stupid and a made up thing meant to make virgins feel better about themselves. he doesn’t care about participating it in it. especially when he has you. eren doesn’t make it past the first day of november without tearing your clothes off and finishing inside of you.

connie’s pretty into no not november- mainly because of destroy dick december. despite being a yearly player, he never makes it through the month successfully. what fails him this year is you in a pair of black leggings- he can’t help it. he begs you to let him fuck you and you give in, november claiming yet another loser.

when you brought the idea up to levi, he scoffed. he thinks it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world and he won’t be partaking. he’s going to fuck you whenever and wherever if you’ll let him. he cuts the conversation short by pulling you onto his lap, mumbling something like “i’d fail over and over when it comes to you” into your ear.

jean insists that no nut november is easy, that you just have to have control. and he claims he does. he does pretty good for the first week, you’ll give him that. determined to make him fail, you start sleeping in just a small shirt and underwear. jean cant stand your teasing anymore and decides to fuck you raw after a particularly tough day, november claiming another victim.

erwin takes it a little too seriously. he’s never heard of it until you brought it up to him the other day. interested, he decides to partake in it. and he fucking exceeds, much to your dismay. but as soon as december strikes, he doesn’t waste a minute more. he rams into you for hours with an ungodly amount of stamina for someone who was just practicing abstinence.

zeke thinks it’s a fun idea, as long as you join him in it. thinking it’ll be easy, you agree. turns out you both spend the entirety of november teasing the fuck out of each other, each being too stubborn to lose. zeke makes it a week before he’s quite literally on his knees begging you to get him off.

armin would like to try it. he doesn’t make you participate. he just does it to see how strong-willed he is. but that doesn’t stop him from getting you off. not being able to cum means not being able to fuck you, and he can’t stand it. so he eats you and fingers you daily, making sure you’re getting off. he can’t keep his hands to himself.

porco’s too confident in his ability to make it through the month. it’s all fun and games until he wakes up in the middle of the night with a throbbing boner. not thinking, he gently wakes you up and you two wind up having sex. it’s not until you’re cuddling after does he realize that he’s just lost.

reiner says fuck that. he won’t be participating. he hates the idea so much. you’re his girlfriend and if he wants to fuck you, he will. just for the hell of it, he pushes you up against a wall everyday, slamming you full of his cum. if this is no nut november, you’d hate to see destroy dick december. or love it.

bertholdt wants to partake in it for the ‘nostalgia’ of it all. but ultimately, he caves in because the desire for you is too great. you make him fail by wearing a low cut shirt and nonchalantly bending over to grab something, revealing too much cleavage. you wind up on your knees with his fingers in your hair.

please check out my jean fic 🤍

[doveywovy]

Azula centric ATLA au where everything is the same as canon except around when Azula's 10, Ozai starts to get...nervous.

because a powerhungry domineering heir is all good and well, but also HE was a powerhungry domineering heir. and he 1) eventually super got his dad murdered & 2) would've done it himself way sooner if he was strong enough. and while azula is nowhere near as strong as him *now*, she's a lot stronger than he was at her age and presumably only going to get stronger. keeping her in assassinating distance suddenly seems like a very bad idea.

so he decides he just needs to send her away for a very long time with a somewhat failing mission. keep her out of his way, out of his palace, with a little bit of a smudge on her record so people won't be aligning with her to overthrow him or anything. she's still the preferred heir he just doesn't TRUST her is all!

so he sends her on a mission to...capture the avatar. and she can't come back until she does.

10 year old azula is a lot more politically-minded than zuko was at 14, so she knows this is a wild goose chase he doesn't intend for her to actually succeed at and she is VERY VERY MAD ABOUT IT. she worked so hard to be such a good domineering powerhungry heir for him and hes going to send her away and keep weakling loser zuko around??? unacceptable!!

also iroh definitely stays in the palace to keep zuko safe from plotting and poison so she's just like. alone. her and a crew of sailors who all kind of look down on her, as scary as she is, bc she's 10 and not 14 and on the outs, not the heir (as far as anyone knows).

anyways theres a lot of ways this au could go but ultimately i think the most fun is that she doesn't become like, Good or Anti-War but she also isn't devoted to the fire nation anymore. Instead shes just like "i WILL kill the firelord. don't care what happens after that or around it"

like she joins the gaang and teaches aang firebending, but NOT because she agrees with them. or disagrees with them. shes just like what happens to the world is none of my business what happens to firelord ozai absolutely is

azula: my father thought i wanted to kill him when i was ten years old. i would HATE to disappoint him

[machveil]

Omfg- idea. Sorry for sending so many of these

Loser!ghost and konig tied up and not allowed cum until they make you. But they end up not being able to bc just the idea of getting you off makes them to excited

- 🦒

Also giraffe fact: giraffes live about 25 years in the wild but 40 in captivity

fun fact: a baby giraffe is still taller than me what the hell [short agony]

CW: overstimulation

Loser!Ghost who was a little too excited when you asked if you could tie has wrists behind his back. in his head it was amazing - the thought of having you on his cock, melting against him while he thrusts up into you. in actuality? oh, your poor baby. his head’s been thrown back against your soft pillows, wisps of blond hair stuck to his forehead. he can’t help but moan, jaw dropped as his bound hands grip and twist the sheets under his back

Loser!Ghost who’s cum twice now, legs twitchy and kicked out behind you as you grind down against him. it’s too much, too warm and tight, but not nearly enough. he tries to haphazardly buck his hips up but they just get pushed down by your hands. “Love— wan’ to touch you— please—“, his words come out strained, voice cracking as he pleads. you haven’t even had an orgasm yet and Simon’s facing the consequences, your request that he hold it had ultimately failed not even a minute in. and now? now Simon owes you two, that’s fair, isn’t it?

Loser!König who’s all bleary eyed and whiny, fat tears clinging to his eyelashes and leaving stains down his cheeks. he feels so bad, you only had one request for him and he totally blew it. “Just gotta hold it until I cum, okay?”, you had asked him so nicely, had him painfully hard as you bound his wrists. he came so quickly, as soon as you fully sank down on him, pelvis to pelvis, his hips had jerked up. all he could do was babble ‘sorry’s while white hot pleasure singed his spine

Loser!König’s hands are bound behind him but his hips have a mind of their own. as soon as he had come down from his high he was madly bucking his hips up into you. you barely managed a yelp before collapsing to his chest - dumbly moaning and whining as he chased after another orgasm. all you had wanted to have was a sweet little orgasm before helping König reach his. now? you’re clinging to him, face buried in his neck as he helps you come… if he happens to still for a moment don’t worry! he’ll be babbling out more apologies before continuing his pace for you

[hannie-dul-set]

YOU(R SHOELACES) ARE PRETTY.

p — PARK SUNGHOON x gn! reader. g — fluff, meet cute. w — swearing, secondhand embarrassment because sunghoon doesn't know how to to talk to cute people. 706 words.

note — park sunghoon is a rizzless loser pass it on. PART TWO. if you enjoy loser! hoon, you might also enjoy this other series of mine.

you only came along with your friends to the skatepark because you had nothing better to do, but now you’re starting to regret that decision because for some reason— while you’re sitting on the stands all by yourself, minding your own damned business because you don’t know how to fucking skate— you’ve caught the attention of six to seven guys who don’t look very friendly.

what the hell? why are they staring? sweat starts to wet your palms as you duck down to untie and retie your shoelaces because their staring was really starting to make you uncomfortable. they look like a group of freaking delinquents. they’re definitely nothing but trouble.

but you regret taking your subtle glances off of them for a second too long because for some god damned reason, one of them started to roll up to you.

you feign ignorance, playing with the laces on your other foot because maybe he isn’t skating to your direction. maybe he’s going to make a turn to the ramps or some shit. maybe he’s just passing by and— of fuck, he’s literally three feet away from you now, and he’s got an ice cold face, and a very terrifying scowl, and he looks like he’s about to curb stomp you three feet into the ground.

he’s leering down at you with his hands in his pockets, posture leaned slightly back and confident. his thick eyebrows are slightly furrowed with a frown that’s housing a lollipop stick. he’s handsome, but he looks like he wants to fight you. he’s pretty, but he also looks like he’d call you a pretty stupid bitch. the kuromi band-aid on his cheek doesn’t make him any less intimidating. he takes out the lollipop from his with a pop!

you wince, ready to piss yourself in fear until you hear him say, “h—hey.”

his voice cracks. you look up.

“i think you’re— i think you—” you failed to notice the red staining his neck earlier, nor the sweat nervously trickling down his forehead. you should’ve known he’d be harmless from the cute bandaid decorating his cheek. all the fear you felt is melted every time he stumbles on his words, every time his cheeks grow increasingly pinker by the second, until he gives up and turns around to yell at the group he separated from to tell them to, “shut the fuck up!”

they’re cheering him on, “you can do it, sunghoon!” you’re more confused than you’ve ever been. 

the guy you assume is named sunghoon snaps his head back down to face you, brows that were once knitted in annoyance quickly scrunching into a nervous jitter and he measures up a smile that matches his confidence— faltering and falling apart. you’re starting to feel bad.

“i just...i just wanted to say that i think you’re really—”

go on, you encourage him with a nod. you can do it. maybe you shouldn’t have tried to help him, because the moment you give him an assuring smile, ten million emotions flash through his face at once— shock, fluster, panic in shades of pink, rose, and cherry— until he ultimately settles with defeat when he sinks his head down with a pair of hands covering his face, but he can’t hide the color tinting his ears.

“i think...your shoelaces are pretty.”

his voice is muffled. he looks like he wants the ground to eat him.

“thank you?”

“no problem.”

sunghoon spins around, puts the lollipop back into his mouth, and kicks the ground once before letting the momentum from the roller skates slide him back to the direction where he came from, but he’s sliding slowly and pitifully enough for you to hear the, “oh god, oh no, i’m so fucking stupid, oh no—” sputtering from his mouth in quiet grumbles and hisses as his friends continue to cheer him on from a distance.

the back of his neck is still searing red. when he reaches his friends you watch as his legs give up and he sinks into the ground with a cry of anguish.

maybe you shouldn’t have judged the poor guy too quickly. maybe he just wanted to tell you that he thinks you(r shoelaces) are pretty.

YOU(R SHOELACES) ARE PRETTY.

© hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[moamidzyism]

[12:30am] (c.yj)

☆。.:*·ﾟwc 2074 smut ౨ৎ minors DNI ˚⁺。˚ // repost ୨୧ frat boy!yeonjun x fem!reader, friends with benefits, mentions of alcohol, college!au, unprotected sex [masterlist • reblogs + feedback appreciated]

“come to my party tonight.” yeonjun was all but on his knees begging you.

“you’re throwing a party?” the rays of sun peeking in from his blinds shone on you as your were digging through the mess on the floor looking for your clothes.

“my frat is,” he confessed, “i promise, it will be fun.” he quickly added when he saw your face turn sour from the side.

“you know that i don’t like these things.” you finally turn to face him as you pull up your pants. the t-shirt you wore to his place last night was still somewhere in the mess.

“i know,” he drags you back down into bed with him. “but i’ll be there with you the entire time.” he pulls you into a kiss, despite your contests about your class that was starting in half an hour.

in the five and a half months that you had been hooking up with him, you’ve come to know yeonjun as many things – the corny, unserious, silly loser that was posing as the super cool, ultra confident frat social chair – but you didn’t know that he was also a liar. because you had been at this party for an hour and you had only seen him a grand total of once, when you walked in and he told you to wait for him in the kitchen.

so you do as he says and wait in the kitchen for twenty minutes while he’s in the backyard playing some drinking game with his frat brothers. for a moment, you think about going outside to meet him, but you ultimately decide that you were not one to beg for attention. instead, you weave through the sweaty bodies that filled the house and find yourself on the living room couch. looking around the room, you start to wonder why you’re still here.

you’re pulled out of your thoughts when you feel a figure beside you. “hey, y/n, right?” you turn to the side to see who called your name and see a tall boy sitting beside you. he looks familiar but you can’t quite place your finger on where you had seen him. “it’s taehyun.” he says after noticing the look of confusion on your face as you try to place where you know him from.

when you still fail to do so, he sighs. “i’m yeonjun’s little. we have advanced comp together.”

“oh, that taehyun. i knew you looked familiar.”

“not familiar enough, if you couldn’t remember me.”

“i’m really bad with faces,” you try to excuse yourself, “and names,” you add, making him chuckle.

“i thought yeonjun would have for sure mentioned me to his girlfriend.” he says to himself, but loud enough for you to hear.

“oh, i’m not his girlfriend.”

“really? i always see you two together, especially around here.”

“we’re just friends. we are not together.” you made sure to especially emphasize the last sentence.

“so, what are you doing here?”

“i was just wondering the same thing,” you mostly say to yourself.

“well, i was going to go outside to play beer pong, but i saw you sitting by yourself.”

“aren’t you the sweetest?” you tease him, making him blush.

“yeah, and i need a partner.”

“oh, i appreciate you keeping me company, but i’m not really a drinker.”

“well, i don’t plan on losing.” he stands up, reaching his hand out for you to join him. you take it with a shy smile and follow him outside to play.

you soon realize that taehyun was right. he was actually really good at beer pong. you guys had already played against two other pairs and you hadn’t once tasted alcohol.

as you guys celebrate your second win, you feel a familiar presence behind you. “i call next round,” you hear your friend’s voice. you and taehyun turn around to see a glaring yeonjun. even though you’re outside and the air is cool, you can’t help but heat up as your blood rushes up to your face when you meet yeonjun’s gaze. to say that this moment is awkward is a gross understatement.

still, taehyun remains as cool as the night. his hands find solace on the back of his neck, rubbing ever so slightly. “yeah, sure, do you have a partner?”

“i think i can take both of you by myself.” yeonjun responds, ever so confidently. you roll your eyes.

tonight you’ve uncovered two important facts about yeonjun that you were not privy to prior. the first, obviously being that he is a liar, and the second being that he is very good at beer pong. not surprising, given that he is a member of a frat, but now intimidating because before you knew it there was only one cup in front of you and it’s his turn again.

taehyun, who has really been the main player of your team, is now barely standing straight. throughout the game, yeonjun has been egging him to drink all your losses for you because he knows that you can’t handle your alcohol, and taehyun, was really a trooper, not wanting to disobey his big.

a crowd begins to form around the three of you and yeonjun carelessly throws the ping pong ball that effortlessly falls into the red solo cup in front of you. the crowd erupts in cheers, yeonjun, seemingly unfazed by the attention, smirks directly at his frat brother, who picks up the cup with despair in his eyes.

you take the cup from him and pour the content onto the grass below you.

yeonjun, still riding the wave of his victory, seizes your arm and pulls you away from the crowd. you shoot taehyun a regretful look, or at least try to. yeonjun is pulling you away too quickly, and he is still looking down, trying to stabilize himself, before he too is dragged off into the party. 

yeonjun leads you upstairs to his room. as the door closes behind you, the jubilant cheers of the crowd are muffled, and it’s just the two of you in the warmth of his bedroom.

“that was so uncalled for,” you tell him, your hands planted firmly on your hips. 

“he’ll be fine,” yeonjun reassures you, his voice low and seductive. he inches closer to you, sliding his hands between you, pulling you into an intimate embrace. “he should know better.” his lips trail along your jawline, peppering kisses in a way that makes your heart race.

“he’s a freshman,” you state, trying to maintain a semblance of seriousness amid the growing intensity. yeonjun’s kisses continue, like he’s deliberately trying to distract you from the brewing conversation.

“and you’re mine.” he declares between kisses. “he shouldn’t be touching what’s mine.”

“i’m not yours, one.” you retort, pushing his head away from you. “two, he wasn’t touching me. and three, you left me in the kitchen for twenty minutes.”

“i’m sorry about that. i shouldn’t have left you alone when i invited you.” yeonjun conceded, trying to bridge the gap between the two of you with another kiss. however, you dodge him, demanding an explanation with a straight face.

“y/n, i’m not going to apologize for telling people in my frat that you’re my girlfriend.”

“wait, you’ve been telling people that i’m your girlfriend?” you move his hands that were previously around your waist. he stands opposite you now, with his hands by his side.

“well, you kind of are,” he responds with a nonchalant shrug.

“no i’m not.”

“you should be.”

“you were the one who said that you weren’t looking for a relationship.”

“but i like you. why is that a problem?”

“because this is the first i’m hearing about this.”

“so do you want me to show you how much i like you?” he proposes, a lingering question that hangs in the charged air between you.

“can we at least talk about this first?”

“we can, but i’ve been wanting to kiss you since i saw you playing with taehyun.” he looks at you with his signature pout. “can i just kiss you first, and maybe we can talk?”

“not maybe. we are going to talk.” you concede and he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

you try so hard not to succumb to him, but his arms are wrapping around your waist in the way that he knows drives you crazy. he pulls you closer to his bed, laying you down gently, his lips still attached to your jawline.

“j-jun,” you moan out his name.

“i know, i know. we’ll talk.” he assures you. “i just wanna make you feel good first – show you how much i like you.” he repeats.

and so you let him.

you let him push your skirt up and slide your panties down. you let him trail kisses along your exposed stomach and down your legs. you let him hide his face between your legs, his head moving up and down as he moans against you. the vibrations send chills down your spine.

his tongue laps your pussy eagerly, his sloppy ruts causing his nose to bump against your clit. “pussy always tastes so sweet for me.” you feel him smile against your core.

you tighten your grip on him using your thighs as you inch closer to your orgasm, but before you could cum, you feel him pull away. “no,” you cry out.

yeonjun looks up at you from between your thighs, his pretty plump lips wet from your arousal. “lemme fuck you. I wanna make my girl feel so good.”

“your girl,” you repeat after him.

“yeah, you’re all mine,” he leans down to kiss you. “my girl.”

yeonjun lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in so gently, you can’t help but gasp at the feeling of him filling you up so well. “feels good, baby?”

you hum in response before wrapping your arms around his body pulling him closer to you. with every subsequent thrust, you feel yourself unraveling around him, his hands exploring the contours of your body. your moans echo through the room and for the first time that night you’re so grateful to the universe that the music from the party downstairs is so loud that you can barely hear yourself think.

yeonjun accelerates his thrusts, his movements becoming less steady by the second. as he inches closer to his climax, he hides his face in the crook of your neck, nibbling on your ear occasionally. his eyes cloud over and his hips begin to stutter. your eyes flutter closed as you feel him pumping his load deep inside you.

yeonjun gently retreives and damp cloth and quickly cleans you up. once he finishes, he joins you in bed, the warmth of his presence settling beside you again.

“i’m not opposed to the idea of being your girlfriend,” you begin after a while, breaking the silence that had settled in the room.

“but?”

“but, you have to make up your mind about what you want.”

“i know what i want,” he assures, tracing patterns on your skin with his fingertips.

you take a deep breath before continuing, “if you want me to be your girlfriend, you can’t just say it in the heat of the moment.”

his gaze meets yours, and there’s a sincerity in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “i know, i get it, y/n.” the two of you lie in silence for another moment. “i really do like you, y/n. it’s not just something i say in the heat of the moment,” he admits. “i guess i’ve just been trying to figure out how to say it properly.”

“i do like you too.” you confess to him. “why do you think i came to this stupid party?” the room feels warmer as you admit your feelings, and yeonjun’s eyes light up with joy. he leans in, capturing your lips in a soft, lingering kiss.

“but you still have to apologize to taehyun.” you remind him, gently pulling away from his arms.

“oh, he’ll be fine.” he chuckles, his fingers brushing through your hair.

“i’m serious,” you shoot him a playful scowl. his laughter resonates throughout the room, yet he relents. satisfied, you settle back into his embrace, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. the sounds of the distant party below serves as a reminder of a world outside, but in this moment it’s just the two of you.

taglist: @boba-beom @dearlyjun @atinyniki @isabellah29 @wiisoob

fill out this form to join my taglist! author's note :: this was inspired by my txt as ariana grande songs post from way back when!! this is the literal fic version of yeonjun's part

[cvlutos]

“No Nut November” Pt.2

| Repost: 01.09.23 | 1.3K | Mature |

NRC 2nd Years X GN!Reader

| CHARACTERS 18+ | Sexual Themes | Masturbation | Flirting | Sorta Creepy | Voice Kink | Etc. | Proceed with Caution, Dearest. |

♡ RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS ♡

LOSER #ONE

He honestly doesn’t know about NNN, until he heard Ace and Deuce talking about it and so he asks Trey. Who simply laughs out loud and sorta explains it. Riddle literally goes red in the face and wants to collar anyone who speaks about something that is so embarrassing. Until you casually mention it and think it’s funny. He’s sorta like that’s dumb. He’s totally not doing NNN, not even for you. But he thinks about it, various times throughout the day. I honestly believe that Riddle isn’t a very horny person, so he rarely gets hard till the most random of times. He sorta just plainly ignores it as he does homework in his bedroom. Absentmindedly chewing on his pen, think about you and how’d you touch—

He'll win, simply because he can’t bring himself to jack off. Though most likely had the most intense wet dream known to man. He woke up shaking and shuddering, sweating as if he fucked fr. He swears that would never happen. He would never put his dick in you—can’t make eye contact with you for weeks without becoming red in the face.

“Off with anyone’s head who participates in something so disgusting—No, I’m not red in the place!”

♡ RUGGIE BUCCHI ♡

LOSER #TWO

Loud and proud with “winning”. Knows all about NNN and he and his friends probably keep track to make sure each other doesn’t fail. So at the same time, he’s tryna preserve his NNN streak, he’s tryna ruin it for everyone else. He’s taking the most outta pocket pictures and will just casually show everyone, like one where you slip in a puddle, another why are you biting your lip. Leona is his biggest victim. He thinks he’s untouchable until you go outta your way to get him a gift. The only gifts Ruggie ever receives are the rare gifts from friends and family from the Afterglow Savannah, or the various things Leona “gives” him. So a gift from his crush.

He’s crashing and burning. Fumbling over his words as he darts off to his room. Tripping over himself as he struggles to unbuckle this belt, kicking his door close with a slam. He’s almost shaking from excitement, like a dog in front of a fresh meal. Leaning against his dorm and bucking wildly into his hand. Will act like he never came to the thought of you, though several say some heard him whimper your name.

“No, I didn’t lose… no, I don’t whimper.”

♡ AZUL ASHENGROTTO ♡

ULTIMATE LOSER.

I’m sorry but when it comes to you and trying to not masturbate. He’s failing. Losing before he even knew about NNN. Like, he’s so embarrassed when Floyd and Jade talk about as they walk to class, his face is pink before he’s coughing it off and calling NNN a children’s game. He’ll not participate in something so silly. Like bsfr.

As if he hadn’t his face shoved into a pillow and his blankets shoved between his legs. Hair, disheveled, and face red as he grinds into the multiple blankets, at exactly November 1st, 4:13AM. Like the sun isn’t even out.

“That is a childish game—No! I didn’t ‘jizz’—Don’t say such brash things! Especially in public, Floyd!”

♡ JADE LEECH ♡

WINNER #ONE

He wins simply because he wants to win. He has no carnal desire to ‘fuck his hand’ nor ‘ruin his bedsheets’, both kindly phrased by Floyd. Don’t be mistaken, he has before, seeing as he’s extremely interested in the human body. But he already knows what he likes and what makes him tick, of sorts. But you. What makes you hot and bothered? Are you into biting? Maybe blood? Maybe you like it rough, or maybe you like it soft. Which one is it?

This NNN isn’t going to be for him to have self-control. It’s going to be for you. He simply loves the embarrassed look you have when he gives you shy touches or whispers in your ear. He loves to see the way humans react. His goal isn’t to just make you lose NNN by cumming, he wants to be there and be the one that makes you cum.

“Please do tell, what is it you’re into? Shall we explore together?”

♡ FLOYD LEECH ♡

LOSER #FOUR

Loud and proud, this time with losing. Zero shame in talking to you about it. All in your ear, whispering about how hard you made him and how he came to you. Not even in a private place, probably during passing period when the halls were all crowded. Now don’t be mistaken, he “tried” for a good 60 minutes till you were minding your own business. Probably you yawned in his vicinity. He blames you for losing.

Floyd is such a flip-floppy person. Like he’s mad, he’s lost one moment, cause if you didn’t just walk around all alluring, then he wouldn’t have fucked his hand. But he’s also happy, cause he gets this type of reaction outta you. Plans to fuck you at the end of the month. One way or another.

“Don’t be like that Shrimpy~ I was just tryna have some funn hallway chit chat~”

♡ KALIM AL-ASIM ♡

LOSER #FIVE

Don’t feel bad for him. Everybody and their momma knew Kalim wasn’t winning. Everybody in that dorm knew that the moment he said he was doing NNN, he was going to lose. Like he’s the only one shocked when he’s having difficulty winning like he isn’t a huge simp. Like you say ‘jump’, Kalim is like ‘How high?’ He’d jump off a cliff into the ocean if you asked him to.

Lasts a day. A day. Longer than Jamil thought, who gave him 5 hours max. Others betting 20 minutes. So he shocks everyone, but at the same time is it a flex if everyone can hear you getting down and dirty in your room and everyone in a 10-mile radius can hear the person who has a crush on name being moaned. Kalim acts normally the next day, but Jamil looks so ashamed.

“Yeah, I lost, but it’s just a game. And I don’t mind losing [Name] is just so irresistible!”

♡ JAMIL VIPER ♡

UNDECIDED.

Truly can’t decide whether he would win or not. He’s only participating because of Kalim, who begged. So he’s playing. Which he’s proudly like, ‘I got this, no way I’m losing.’ Until you pull up, and around a lot more and he’s genuinely enjoying spending time with you, to the point you showing up in his dreams. One day in class he blanked out and had written your name with his last name. Suddenly he’s avoiding you like the bubonic plague. Like he sees you in the hall, he’s spinning around, dragging Kalim the other way.

I’ve changed my mind. He’s losing. He probably got a huge boner from spending time with you in his dorm room and thought that he could ease the pain and annoyance of his boner without cumming. For someone who’s in the dorm of mindfulness, why did he think that work, as he stares at his homework that’s now painted in his mess.

“I’m not avoiding them… I’m just taking a shortcut.”

♡ SILVER ♡

WINNER #TWO

He can barely stay awake to do homework. He sure ain’t staying awake to jerk off. Though he knows about NNN, because of his very loud dormmate, known as Sebek Zigvolt. Who challenges him. Silver, half awake and tired, agrees. Definitely forgets, and his only saving grace is him falling asleep mid-masturbation. Kid, you not. Has woken to his limp dick in hand on multiple occasions. Though I do believe that Silver stays very alert even in his sleep, so no one has caught him with his dick out. He’s been close.

He can barely stay awake to do homework. He sure ain’t staying awake to jerk off. Though he knows about NNN, because of his very loud dormmate, known as Sebek Zigvolt. Who challenges him. Silver, half awake and tired, agrees. Definitely forgets, and his only saving grace is him falling asleep mid-masturbation. Kid, you not. Has woken to his limp dick in hand on multiple occasions. Though I do believe that Silver stays very alert even in his sleep, so no one has caught him with his dick out. He’s been close.

“I won… oh okay…”

ⓒ 2023 love-thanatopsis — all rights reserved. Any sort of plagiarizing, copying, modifying, translating, editing of my works are strictly prohibited.

[pangborns]

WOULD’VE, COULD’VE, SHOULD’VE…

God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be

tyler durden x fem!reader x the narrator (jack)

in which tyler entered your life just long enough to fuck it all up.

swearing, mentions of death, violence, panic attacks, manipulation, mean!tyler, kidnapping tbh, possible spoilers. (This may be the darkest thing I’ve written yet, so proceed with caution.)

Your shaky hand was quick to cover your mouth as the sobs poured out of you. You sat criss-crossed on the filthy mattress decorating the floor of the deteriorating home.

Admittedly, just two weeks ago you were a completely different person. You had a stable job, healthy friendships, and most importantly, no Tyler.

The night you met him, he had stopped you from calling the police on him and his friend for fighting in the parking lot outside of Lou’s Tavern. You remember his hand being so cold as it gently wrapped around your wrist. You remember the fear you felt in the pit of your stomach as you looked between the two bloodied men, the flush of your cheeks as they both gauged your actions, and the way you ultimately stopped your movement toward the pay phone. That was your first mistake.

“What’s your name?” Tyler questioned, he tilted his head a bit. You looked around him, watching as the man he was fighting spit out a wad of blood, he was still on the ground. Tyler stepped in front of your line of view. “Your name?”

“Oh- I’m, um, I’m (Y/N),” Your voice shook as you spoke to him. “I wasn’t looking to get involved with anything. I just don’t want anybody getting hurt…”

Tyler chuckled, pivoting on his foot to face his friend, “Y’hear that? She doesn’t want anybody to get hurt,” He was mocking you. The man behind him still didn’t say anything, he seemed lost in thought as he stared at you.

Wait a minute, you knew this man…“Jack?” You spoke incredulously, you did know this man! He worked a few cubicles down from you.

Tyler’s eyes widened, he whistled and fell back a few steps. “Jack’s got a friend,” Tyler continued his trek toward Jack, kneeling beside him. “Now, how do we know this woman, Jack?”

Jack seemed to try to stutter out an answer, his eyes were blown wide. His whole life could fall apart due to this very encounter, you could run off and tell everybody what you had stumbled upon. You could get him fired. His breathing calmed as he became lost in thought, you wouldn’t do that. You were only the woman who worked down the aisle from him, the one that asked him for paperclips as an excuse to interact, the one who emailed him the work he missed out on while he was sick, the one who so obviously had a work crush on him.

Your face was white at the realization, Tyler lowered his voice as he spoke into Jack’s ear, the two still watching you. Your work heels clicked as you started to back away, not failing to recognize how Tyler seemed to let you.

“C’mon man, she’s leaving you. She doesn’t care. She’ll probably run off and tell everybody about how much of a loser you are. What kind of guy stages fights in a run down parking lot-?” Tyler continued to egg Jack on, watching as his buddy’s face contorted.

“Wait!” Jack called out, stopping you in your tracks. “This is- he’s my friend, Tyler.” You released a small breath you were holding as he admitted that he really did know the man.

You nodded, muttering assurances to both yourself and Jack. Feigning a laugh, you started to turn around to leave for good.

“Don’t leave,” Jack pleaded, shakily standing up. “Let me- do you want to come over? To our place?”

You furrowed your brow. Our place. Was Tyler his roommate? “Why?” Your words came out shaky as you fiddled with your coat.

Jack grew quiet, he didn’t know why he extended the invitation. He poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue in thought.

“- we just moved in! Jack’s been eager to show it off to everybody we meet!” Tyler jumped in, patting Jack on the back extra hard as he stood up beside him.

You looked down at your dainty watch and read the time: 11:28. You stayed at work extra late today to pick up on Jack’s slack, so you weren’t too fond of any idea that didn’t include going home and sleeping.

“I don’t know, Jack. I’ve been working all day-“ Jack closed his eyes and hurriedly nodded, murmuring to himself. You opened your mouth to speak again, but Tyler was quick to cut you off.

“You heard her, Jack. She doesn’t care,” he smirked, throwing a wink your way. “She probably only puts up with you for her own personal work gain.”

The way he so openly spoke lies was incredulous. It didn’t even sound convincing! But from the look on Jack’s face, he so clearly believed those words. You furrowed your eyebrows, anger starting to settle in the pit of your stomach.

“That’s not true! Jack, don’t listen to him.” You demanded, stepping closer to the pair.

“Prove it.” Tyler stated curtly, tilting his head as he challenged you.

And that was how you ended up here, two weeks later, sitting in a decaying house surrounded by rats and roaches. The light pooling in from under the door was slightly blocked as a pair of shoes stood in front of the door. With a click and a creak, the door opened.

“Jack.” You addressed the man, watching as his hands shook while holding the tray of food. He refused to make eye contact with you, simply setting the tray by his feet and turning to leave. 

A sob escaped your chapped lips. “Jack, he’s a criminal. We need to get out of here.” You continued to plead. The man finally looked at you through his lashes. He gulped.

You could hear the countless men downstairs talking about their newest of plans to wreak havoc. Jack cringed.

“It doesn’t work like that, (Y/N).”

Another cry came from your mouth as you deflated a bit.

“Just give up. He isn’t going to let you leave until you join the cause.”

You sputtered, throwing your arms up in frustration. “Never! These are bad people, Jack.”

Jack pursed his lips, nodding a bit as he made his exit. The door shook as he stepped down the hall towards the stairs.

You screamed, pounding your fists against the floor. “Dammit, Tyler! Let me out!”

Your voice eventually grew hoarse and you had to give up. About fifteen minutes after your tantrum, you could hear the precise approaching footsteps of Tyler Durden.

The door cracked open and Tyler slipped in. “Heard you were giving Jack a hard time.” He tsked, not wasting a moment on a greeting.

You kept your mouth shut, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a response.

“Huh.” He nodded, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. A chuckle escaped from his amused smile. “I got all day, sweetheart.”

Your lip quivered as you fought back the tears. “I’m not joining your shit club.” You spit, eyebrows furrowing.

Tyler merely hummed. “C’mon hun, do it for Jack.” He teased. “Poor guy is in love with you or something! This is killing him, Princess.”

You reeled back at the nickname, cringing at his smirk. “I am going to get out of here one day. On my own accord. This shit hole will be crawling with cops in no time, Tyler. Mark my words.”

Tyler simply laughed at your threat. The thought seemed to amuse him, he lightly tapped your cheek before making his way for the door.

“Trust me, that won’t be happening.”

[insomniactic-daydream]

Really?- Bakugo x Reader

Bakugo x Support Course Shoto's Twin Sister Reader (Part 5)

<- (Previous Part 4)

Summary: Y/n and Bakugo being supportive love sick idiots. (I'm too lazy to write a summary rn)

"What is this shit? Why is the fabric weird?"

"Those are your gloves. They'll help you adjust to the seasonal changes. Warmer in the winter and even more sweat in these warmer temperatures.

It's made with metal thread produced by yours truly. That way, they dont wear out easily." you say while tidying up some screws.

Bakugo's questioning has been going on for the last few minutes. If you didn't know better, you'd think he's trying to take your place in the support course. You swear he's taking up all the oxygen in the unventilated shed; nothing but an open window.

"You spent time sewing this shit together after creating the thread?"

"I am the best, aren't I?" You say, looking up from the gauntlets to meet his eyes with a smirk. He quickly turns his head in another direction, avoiding being caught flustered.

"Tch, as if. I just didn't think you losers had to put together so much shit just for one hero's gear." He grumbles, taking on a new appreciation to support course people and workers.

"Well, now you know not to be cheap when it comes to your agency's gear in the future, right Number One?" You say before grabbing the gloves and one of his arms.

You slip his hands into the fingerless gloves; shockingly compliant. Meanwhile, Bakugo is wondering how the hell your hands are so soft given your job. One of the pros of having a lava quirk.

"Tch damn right, nerd. Now the hell are we doing now?" He says, eyeing Y/n's calm and zone in look on her face.

"Do you ever stop asking questions? We're assembling your shit together already. If anything too tight or loose, tell me, and I'll adjust it. " You say as he examines the gauntlets on his arms, opening and closing his fists.

"One of the rings for my ultimate blast is a bit snug. It's making harder to pull on to activate it." He says while Y/n grabs the defective gauntlet pulling out the ring.

Y/n also grabs his hand again while heating up the ring with her quirk and goes to the finger in question; which so happens to be his ring finger.

"Oi, what the hell do yo -" Bakugo says in fear for his finger to be charred off or 3rd degree burns at least. He pauses as he realizes the ring is also being cooled down with your ice quirk.

"What too soon for you to say yes?" you say through a chuckle, jokingly makes it seem she's proposing to him.

That's when Bakugo quirk goes off, earning a little harmless explosion to Y/n's face. Even Bakugo was not sure he meant to do that, but he quickly composed himself.

"You're an idiot." He says, rolling his eyes and his face away from you. You let out a giggle.

"What? If this this career doesn't work out for me I had to make sure I'm rich somehow." She says sarcastically.

"Your father is literally loaded, dumbass." He says to you; now chuckling at your stupid joke. Totally forgetting that you almost burned his finger off. (He's being overdramatic)

You were an idiot he thought. But something warm erupted in his chest, thinking about your unwavering confidence in him to be number one in the future.

You always refer to his goal as something you believe he can actually achieve. You don't criticize his personality or tell him it's impossible with an ego like his. You actually think he's going to be someone big someday.

And if he were honest with himself, he wouldn't mind if you're there when he does make his dream a reality.

"Hm, I guess you're right." You say laughing, and you help him reattach parts of the gauntlets.

"Besides, you're not half bad at this shit. I don't think you'll fail even if you tried." He grumbles softly, almost embarrassed he's complimenting you.

"Guess I proved myself to you, huh then number one?" You look up to make eye contact with him.

He stares back intensely. Like a trance, he can't shake off.

"I guess you did, idiot." He says softly. He admit he had his reservations about you, but you ended up proving him wrong in the such short duration of time you've known each other.

The room falls silent for a while. Nobody mentioned the moment that just happened between them. Too stubborn to say the obvious.

"So why the support course? And how come not your brother too?" Bakugo says, clearing his throat into a new conversation. Y/n, let's out a pondering hum.

"Hm, well, I did get my quirk a little later than him. I was always around my dad, but he only focused on training Shoto for the time being."

"I'd usually stay around the agency when I was younger while my mother took care of my siblings at home. That's how I ended being looked after by the agency's support crew." You say with a shrug.

The information made Bakugo uneasy. How come your mother didn't take care of you? But your speaking cut off his thoughts.

"From then, I already learned the basics. And so, even when my quirk came and my dad pushed me towards becoming a hero, I knew that I wanted to make support gear. And I wanted to be the best at it." You say with a smile as you adjust the newly fitted ring back into the now newly completed gauntlets.

"Well, if my gauntlets serve any proof, I'd say your smartass is already halfway there." Bakugo says wholeheartedly to you. Hoping his words gave you an ounce of confidence you've given him.

"Really?"

"Really"

"Guess I should charge you extra then, huh? I mean, I'm going to be in pretty high demand then."

"You know what. I take it back."

As if he wouldn't pay top dollar for you if that were the case.

(Part 6) ->

I literally cringed writing this. Idk why I can't write lovey stuff 😭

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[kozumesphone]

03 ✦ I think i’m addicted to the title ‘you and me’ ! ༄.°

𝒽wang hyunjin x f!reader

masterlist . . . ✰

𓆩♡𓆪 𝒶n : my favourite chapter by far 🤭 kind of a fluffy chapter! def the longest in the series till rn too (I hate writing long chapters, please save me 🙏); anyway. the time has finally come fr! here’s your the ultimate climax chapter <333

𓆩♡𓆪 𝓌arnings + tags : mention of kissing , hand holding , talking about being a bottom/top , hands around neck , light neck biting (twice) , y/n trying to internally best-friend-zone hyunjin but it doesn’t work , oblivious idiots in love ;

𓆩♡𓆪 𝓌c : 1.05k

DAY #03 . . .

days merged into one another because all I did was go to school and prep school, nothing more and nothing less.

I internally even sobbed, realising that I hadn’t read any of my books for the past six months.

we got our test scores back an hour ago, leaving the results of a bet looming over my head. a bet I made with hyunjin. a bet, whose loser had to kiss someone.

I bet that hyunjin would score higher than I would, and he bet the opposite. loser has to kiss anyone the winner picks.

except, we weren’t serious about the consequences because he had gotten out of a pretty serious relationship just a couple of months ago, and I was… well, I hadn’t had my first kiss yet.

instead of reminding each other of the bet, hyunjin and I were holding hands under the table—which we did quite often because he said my hands were cold and he was ‘warming them up’—when, one of the days preceding halloween, the topic of being a ‘bottom’ or a ‘top’ came up in the class.

“I think you’d be a… bottom,” hyunjin whispered to me.

“duh,” I rolled my eyes.

“why? you like when the other person does all the work for you, don’tcha?”

“well, yeah,” I said, shrugging.

the conversation quickly moved on to what our type was.

“she needs to be as mentally unwell as I am,” hyunjin said. “and have the same sense of humour, too. a little shorter than me, and smart. like, book-smart as hell. oh, hopefully someone who goes to the same prep school so we could see each other a lot, you know?”

I nodded, thinking of any of the girls in our class who fit the criteria, but failed. I even tried to go out of the way and mentally scrolled through a list of girls from other prep school classes, and still turnd up with nothing.

“y/n, what about you?” he nudged my arm.

“mmm, obviously mentally unhinged, because if not, it’d be boring if they didn’t match my freak, right? also, they better be ready to hear out all the freaky fantasies i’ve collected after being a book girl for so many years. the list is unbelievably long,” I said, half-laughing. “I don’t really mind if they’re younger or older than I am, but I would never date anyone shorter than me.”

he laughed and nodded his head at me, his eyes crinkling. I was honoured to be one of the few people who saw this version of his smile—the kind that reaches his eyes.

classes ended earlier than usual—at 7:50, instead of 8:00 p.m., which is still relaxing—so we spent more time in the park near my house together, before hyunjin could leave.

“come on, i’ll walk you home. it’s getting a bit late,” he said, jumping up from his swing, and extending his hand.

I took it without a second thought, and we talked about everything that happened in our classes at school as we kept walking.

“oh my god,” I groaned, looking at the ‘out of service! sorry for the inconvenience!’ sign taped to the elevator. ugh.

“let’s go,” he said, happy to convert me to his staircase-is-better-than-elevators agenda, pulling me up the stairs immediately.

trailing behind him, I asked, suddenly curious, “what led you to conclude the fact that i’d be a bottom?”

when we reached the third floor, he waited a beat before pulling me towards the wall. he pushed me against it gently, and slowly wrapped his fingers around my throat, towering over me and staring down into my eyes. I looked away to the side in embarrassment, as my cheeks flushed.

a second later, he let go. “the fact that you liked that, i’m pretty sure, is proof enough, don’tcha think?”

I mumbled a ‘whatever’, and we kept walking up the stairs. from the corner of my eyes, I could see his mouth still moving, continuing conversation, but my mind kept straying to his lips. and his nose. and his eyes. oh my god, he was beautiful.

“remember our deal about letting me bite you?” he asked suddenly. I nodded. I always bit his finger to annoy him (as I did to my other friends, as well) and he bit back a remark of ‘you’re just begging for me to bite you too, huh?’ to which I cockily remember replying, ‘try it’.

I pulled up the sleeve of my jacket and pushed my hand towards him, assuming he’d bite my hand like I did to him, and get it over with.

instead, he pulled me by my outstretched hand towards the wall again. his hands rested around my neck and tilted my face to my side. he gently nipped at my neck, and I laughed softly.

“tickles,” I mumbled.

best friends, I reminded myself.

he let go, and we walked up another floor to reach mine.

before I could wave to him, he asked, “want another on the other side?”

I quietly took small steps towards him, and his warm fingers found their home on my cheek, tilting my face away slowly. he bit down on my other side for a lot longer than the first time.

I held in a whimper, this time.

best friends.

I was pressed in between the wall and his body. I plopped my head down onto his chest, trying to calm down my racing heart.

best friends, right?

we were both smiling a little and his hand rested against my heart.

“got that heart beating so fast, all for me?” he smirked. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes.

best friends, I had to keep reminding myself.

I mumbled a ‘good night, hyune,’ to him and walked out of the stairwell. he let me go, knowing my parents would get mad at me if I got home even a minute later than I was supposed to.

he smiled, wishing me a good night and walking down the stairs again.

the cheeky little bastard.

I continued cursing him out in my mind, as I unlaced my shoes and stepped into my house. still scolding him internally for nothing, I tried to calm down my racing heart and shaking legs.

best friends aren’t supposed to have this kind of effect on each other… right?

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kozumesphone © 2024 | don’t repost my works onto other platforms, or edit and post them even on tumblr, without asking me first • don’t steal my works, steal my heart instead • reblogs and comments are more than appreciated !

[violets-and-books]

The Crows at the beach

Kaz:

Ultimate mum friend

Doesn't go near the water but finds a spot for all their stuff and guards it with his life

Has 7 individual water bottles, each named and coloured a different colour

The only time you will ever see him in a T-shirt

This man wears jeans to the beach and you can't change my mind

Has 5 towels and also a picnic blanket to sit on

Has individual snacks for each person in tupperware

Only ever gets up from his seat to chase Jesper up and down the beach with suncream

Will deny being a mum friend no matter what but everyone knows the truth

Inej:

Sits with her sunnies on a towel and reads a book

Has an appropriate amount of suncream on and never forgets to top up

Buys everyone ice creams at the end of the day

Plays volleyball and tennis with Jesper, Nina and Matthias

Wades in the shallows with Jesper and splashes him a lot

Tries to tease Kaz into building a sandcastle with her

Convinces Nina to put suncream on

Wears a cute top and shorts

Jesper:

Speedo. He wears a speedo (much to everyone's disappointment)

Refuses to wear suncream but after being chased all along the length and breadth of the beach by Kaz gives in

Teases Wylan on the car ride there and back and gets a towel in the face both times

Once he gets in the sea, you have to fish him out with a net

Plays volleyball and tennis with Inej, Nina and Matthias. He and Inej lose. Jesper's a sore loser

Decorates Wylan and Kuwei's sandcastles

Wylan:

Takes about 100 pictures of the beach, the sky, the sea, everything

Wears a T-shirt, swim shorts and sunnies

Will throw sand at anyone if provoked

Doesn't go in the water until Jesper drags him into the shallows. Then you can't get him out

Searches for rock pools with Kuwei

Finds and keeps any shiny rocks or shells or pieces of sea glass he finds

Has a very serious sandcastle-building competition with Kuwei

Tries to get Kaz to judge the competition and fails

Pushes Kuwei over in the shallows and then runs for his life

Nina:

Wears a bikini and one of those massive floppy hats

Will not put suncream on, she wants to tan

Immediately throws herself down on a towel to sunbathe and falls asleep

Buys everyone fish and chips at lunch

Plays loads of sports with Matthias, Inej and Jesper

Takes a load of beach selfies

Will swim but only if she's not swimming alone

Buys one of those ships in bottles you get from the seaside. She has seven already

Won't drink water unless cajoled into it

Tries and fails to get Matthias to recreate a scene from Titanic

Always complains about being hungry and wanting ice cream

Matthias:

Tried to wear jeans to the beach but was attacked by Nina and a pair of swimming trunks

Spends most of his time building a model of the Ice Court in the sand

Puts on way too much suncream

Complains about the heat to anyone who will listen (no one does)

Don't let him near the water, you'll lose him forever

Judges Wylan and Kuwei's sandcastle competition

Decides it's a draw (so he doesn't get murdered by either)

Absolutely thrashes Jesper at volleyball, tennis and pretty much any sport Jesper challenges him to

Tries to climb the rocks in his swimming trunks and nothing else

Convinces Nina to drink water

Kuwei:

Has swimming trunks with little flames on them

Goes searching in rock pools with Wylan

Snorkels for hours but gets too excited whenever he sees a fish and swallows a mouthful of water

Chases Wylan for half an hour after he pushed him in the shallows

Collects shells only to lose them before they go home

Talks to Wylan about all the fish he's seen. They try to identify them

Tries flirting with Jesper and gets pushed in the shallows (again) because of it

Builds too many sandcastles and then destroys them all on purpose, laughing at the chaos

Climbs one rock and declares himself King of the World

[lionhanie]

beautiful stranger (park sungho)

a beautiful stranger has come to save the day!

sungho x gn!reader (college au) 

word count: 4.5k 

genre + warnings: one (1) pinch of angst, cursing, written in all lowercase, a really really really bad date (it’s a random dude dw), sungho is pining badddd!

a/n: biggest sungho brainrot in the woooorrrrld!!!!!shoutout my babygirl jas for giving me the inspo for this <3 (and beta reading as always :3) this was heavily based on beautiful stranger by laufey!  i'd suggest listening to it before/while reading ^_^

dating felt like a hassle. it wasn’t that you weren’t looking for a relationship– if anything, you were more of a hopeless romantic than anything else. pinterest boards full of couple poses you only dreamt of remaking with your partner when you finally had the opportunity to, a page in your notes app dedicated to sweet date ideas, countless playlists full of love songs you’d want to be posted to one day. instead, each failed date chipped away the hope you once held about being in love. 

it was hard to blame yourself for the disappointment you felt every time you had to restart the cycle of getting to know a potential love interest. how many times could you talk about trivial matters you’ve discussed with people who ultimately end up leaving your life? what’s your favorite color? do you have any pets? did you play any sports in high school? it was repetitive, redundant, and utterly boring, to say the least. 

living in a college town didn’t help either. college students seemed to thrive on the idea of a temporary fling– something “casual” is what they liked to call it. you, on the other hand, could not fathom the idea of love being “casual”. relationships seemed to work backwards; it was nothing like what you grew up seeing in the movies. hooking up amidst a drunken haze, waking up the next morning with fuzzy memories of the person you shared an intimate night with. only then do people decide whether or not their one-night-stands are “worth” getting to know properly. everything was so… wrong. 

coming to university made you realize that trying to perpetuate your idea of romance would be difficult, especially when nobody seemed to take anything seriously anymore. but the hopeless romantic in you would never back down– you were determined to experience something at least remotely similar to the type of love you saw on TV in your last years as a student. so here you were, all dolled up, waiting to meet a guy you’ve been talking to for the past two weeks.

you met on a dating app, having swiped right after laughing at one of his prompts. sometimes, you were ashamed to admit you even bothered making a profile, but it felt like your last resort at this point. his name was minwoo, a graphic design major just one year above you. strictly based on his profile, he seemed sweet. unlike many others you’ve seen on the app, his pictures weren’t too flashy. almost too normal, even. your conversations were surprisingly more mentally stimulating than you’d expected from a dating app, which gave you some hope. at least he was capable of talking to someone like a normal human being, right? 

minwoo asked you on a date soon after you first exchanged numbers, but schedule conflicts on both ends kept pushing it further and further away. despite all the obstacles, he still seemed interested. this was uncommon amongst the men you met on there, finding that most of them would ghost you if you weren’t willing to come see them merely days after matching. probably just losers looking for a quick hook-up. maybe this time, the dating-app gods decided it was time to give you someone good. 

you agreed to meeting him only after making sure it would take place in the middle of the day in a public location on campus, where you knew it’d be safe. minwoo didn’t seem to mind, rather going along with whatever you said without complaint. you suggested a bakery that you frequented– the location was popular among students for their cheap drinks and cozy atmosphere that made a perfect spot to settle down and study for hours. being a regular there meant you were familiar with the workers, which gave you comfort knowing you had a familiar face nearby in case the date went south. 

you’re pleased to see other familiar faces when you first walk through the bakery’s entrance– finding strangers you’ve seen before doing work on their laptops or enjoying an afternoon pastry. you got there 10 minutes earlier than your set meeting time, in an attempt to avoid an awkward meeting outside. first dates always make you nervous; not to mention the fact that this was a stranger you found on a dating app. what if you’re nothing like your pictures? will the conversations flow as well as they do through text? hell, what if you got catfished? 

you push away your thoughts, regaining your composure as you take out a compact mirror from your bag to retouch your makeup. each time the chime above the door jingled, you found yourself turning to see if it was minwoo. it was now 2:13pm, almost fifteen minutes after you agreed to meet. you place your hands neatly in your lap, observing your surroundings briefly. 

you share a fleeting moment of eye contact with a man by himself at a table by the wall, holding his page in the novel he was holding. you recognized him as another regular, having seen him occasionally when you’d stop by for a coffee. he was wearing a denim baseball hat, which covered most of his face. he gives you a small smile, but you pull your gaze away quickly. you couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed at the fact that you were sitting alone in the middle of the store, sitting at an empty table because you refrained from ordering something before minwoo got there. 

truthfully, sungho had seen you there before. to him, you were nothing more than a beautiful stranger, one he had the pleasure of seeing more often than not when he would show up to his local bakery. he’d be lying if he said he didn’t look forward to the chance of seeing you every time he came in, sometimes even going as far to dress a little better if he felt like you’d be there that day. he was a bit shy to admit that he’d memorized your order with how often you showed up, hearing the baristas call out the drink and watching you pick it up. even he thought it was a little creepy, but it’s not like he’d ever act on his attraction, right? 

hm, maybe they’re waiting for someone? sungho thinks to himself, completely forgetting about the book he was previously reading. makes sense for someone as breathtaking as you to be in a relationship. he finds himself a bit disappointed as he sinks into his seat slightly. he’s brought out of his thoughts as the familiar bells above the door ring again, signaling a new customer. a sleazy looking guy walks in, and he watches as you perk up at the sight. that’s the guy you’re meeting? sungho’s annoyed at the way your date is dressed in sweatpants and a worn out band tee when your hair is done to perfection to match the cute outfit you had on. 

you promptly stand up as minwoo looks around the bakery for where you were, motioning for him to come over to your table. you feel a bit overdressed now that you see what he’s wearing. once he sees you, he smiles as he gives you an awkward side hug. first dates are always awkward like this, you shouldn’t mark it off as a disaster just yet. 

“it’s nice to finally meet you, yunjin!” what? 

“ah, it’s Y/N, actually.” you awkwardly laugh, hoping he was just making an off- putting joke. surely he wouldn’t get your name wrong.

“pfft, yeah i was just kidding! yunjin’s my mom’s name.” you raise your eyebrow at the comment, finding it weird to think that he’d go on a date with someone with the same name as his mother. “is this place any good?” 

“yeah! i go here a lot, actually. they make all the pastries in the back, so you know they’re gonna be tasty.” minwoo merely nods at your comment, walking over to the counter to order. you follow behind him, looking at all the cake slices on display once you get there. 

you smile at the person behind the register. they give you a quizzical look, side-eyeing the guy next to you. you were normally alone, so it was odd to see someone with you this time around. you shrug nonchalantly and hold in a giggle, glad that minwoo was too busy looking at the menu to see your interaction. 

“i’ll have an iced coffee… and get me one of those croissants over there.” minwoo orders rudely, speaking too fast for the worker to tap in the order on the screen. you watch as they frantically press buttons on the screen, waiting for them to finish before you say your regular order. 

once the barista looks up at you, you open your mouth to speak, only to be cut off. “and for you, a small caramel macchiato, right?” you beam back at them, finding it sweet to think they know your order by heart. 

“you got it! i think that’ll be it for us today, thank you!” the total shows up on the small screen in front of you, card reader lighting up as it waits for payment. you turn to look at your date, expecting him to pull out his wallet to pay, but his hands are resting firmly in his pockets as he looks around the rest of the bakery. you send a sorry look to the worker for the hold-up before you take your card from your purse and tapping it on the reader. it’s not that you cared much about who paid, but rather the fact that he didn’t even try to do so rubbed you the wrong way. 

“thank you! we’ll bring it to you once it’s done.” minwoo’s already on his way back to the table before the receipt is printed. your lips pursed as you take the piece of paper and shove it into your purse, thanking the worker once more.

sungho can’t help but notice the way you look defeated as you walk back to the table alone. maybe it isn’t your boyfriend. what kind of man makes you pay on a date? he scoots his chair a bit closer to your table, glad he was sitting somewhat close to yours. a little eavesdropping wouldn’t hurt anyone. he was just curious, that’s all. 

“sorry, i left my wallet at my dorm.” minwoo explains to you sheepishly. first, he shows up late without apology or explanation. next, you’re called the wrong name. then, he makes you pay for his order. it can only get better from here, right? 

“ah, it’s no worries!” you lie– everything he’s done so far has done nothing but raise red flags in your head, but you remain optimistic. you place your hands on the table, waiting for him to start up the conversation… except, he doesn’t. instead, he’s on his phone tapping away, presumably texting someone. it must be urgent if he needs to reply right then and there, right in front of you. 

you clear your throat, which makes him look up from his screen. “so, you’re in graphic design right?” it’s a topic you didn’t discuss much in your texts, so you felt like it would be a good way to break the ice. 

“eh, yeah. honestly, it’s kind of a joke major,” he comments dryly. his attention is entirely on his phone. 

“what made you pick it then?” you’re desperately trying to keep up the topic. 

“well, my friend said it was easy. plus, i play a lot of video games so i thought it’d be pretty cool.” he picked his major… because it was easy? minwoo continues texting away, when suddenly he scoffs at what he’s reading. “gosh, this bitch…” 

you’re completely flabbergasted at this point. “excuse me?” is he talking to you? sungho’s equally as shocked at his words, letting out a gasp when he hears what minwoo said. 

“sorry, my sister’s just asking me to pick up something on my way home.” 

“oh, i see.” now would be a good time for your drinks to arrive– you weren’t sure what to say anymore. if anything, you weren’t sure if you wanted to keep up a conversation with someone who spoke about his family in such a way. “...i thought you said you lived in the dorms, though?” 

“ah, did i? i live at home with my family.” you tilt your head at him in confusion. you were certain he said he lived in the dorms just seconds ago. it was a weird thing to lie about. why bluff about something so trivial? 

“here are your drinks!” a different worker from before comes up to your table with a tray, placing your order in the middle of the table. minwoo immediately reaches for his own, drinking from the straw before gagging at the taste. 

“hey, this is so bitter. is this how you guys normally make it?” the boy is clearly flustered, looking back and forth between you two. “there’s no way this place takes that long to make an iced coffee if it tastes like this!” you notice the way he’s struggling to answer minwoo’s outburst. 

sungho rolls his eyes. he hasn’t looked at his book in ages, finding your date far more interesting. has this douche never been to a coffee shop before?

“it’s supposed to be like that, yeah. we have sugar in the corner for customers to adjust the sweetness themselves.” the worker explains calmly, motioning to the coffee station by the garbage. he was one of the newer hires, but he resolved the situation well. 

minwoo takes his drink, clearly annoyed as he goes to add sugar. you quickly apologize for his behavior once he’s gone, and the worker gives you a face of understanding before taking the tray back to the kitchen. 

you take a sip from your own drink, finding it made to perfection, as usual. even when you first tried their iced coffee, you can’t recall it being that bad. at least, not gross enough to make a scene. glancing at your watch, you noticed it’s only been twenty minutes since minwoo arrived. it felt like you were there for hours– in the worst way possible. 

minwoo returns to his seat, seemingly satisfied with his coffee now. “i can’t believe they sell shit like this. what’s the point of buying it if i have to make it myself?” he was so… pretentious. it was annoying. 

“i mean, not everyone likes their drinks sweet, so i think it makes sense-” 

minwoo puts his hand in front of your face to shut you up. “well, i do. they should just do it right the first time.” 

you lean back, shocked at the way he nearly hit you with his movements. “it’s not like they know how your preferences.”

“jesus Y/N, you sound like my ex right now!”

“...your ex?” maybe you weren’t the most well-versed when it came to dating, but you knew better than to mention other people to the person you were currently talking to. 

“yeah, my ex was like, batshit crazy. she would always be on my ass about how often i’d go out to the bars with my friends, it was ridiculous! a guy just needs to have fun sometimes, right?” there wasn’t anything explicitly wrong with wanting to go party with your friends, but why did he need to do all that if he was in a relationship? to you, it felt like a valid thing to be angry about. if it was something severe enough for her to lash out on him like that, it must’ve been serious. you can’t find it in you to blame the poor girl, especially if she had to put up with his immaturity all the time.

you don’t have anything to say as you swirl the drink around in your cup, watching as the foam on top melts into the rest of it. this was a disaster. you should’ve known something was wrong with the way minwoo felt like an entirely different person upon meeting. he was nothing like the seemingly kind boy you were texting for the past two weeks. 

suddenly, his phone vibrates on the table. he quickly picks it up before you can see who’s calling, already out of his chair. “sorry, i need to answer this– it’s my sister. i’ll be right back.” minwoo unlocks his phone to answer, his tone much sweeter than it was when he was speaking to you. 

you watch as he walks out the door to take the call outside. suspicion brewed in your gut as you think about what just happened. earlier, he was cursing out his sister, but now he’s smiling on the phone with her? something told you it wasn’t actually his sister calling. 

sungho doesn’t know what gets into him when he finds himself springing to his feet, heading over to your table. in a time like this, he’s grateful that he managed to pick up on your name thanks to the workers. “Y/N, right? this probably isn’t my place, but are you dating that guy?”

you immediately shake your head no, almost disgusted at the thought of being in a relationship with someone like minwoo. 

“i don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s obnoxiously loud. if the music was any quieter, everyone could hear the way he’s acting like an asshole.” your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, thankful that most of the people in there were too focused with their own business to listen in on your horrendous date. 

“yeah, he’s definitely… something. it’s my first time meeting this guy, sorry to bother you over there.” you bow your head slightly, flustered to think that you were burdening one of the regulars by bringing your no-good-date to your favorite bakery.

“it’s your first time meeting and he’s like that?” the stranger lets out a huff of disbelief. “you’re free to say no, but… do you need help? i can pretend to be your friend or something so we can get out of here.” his eyes are full of concern. you’re taken aback at the stranger’s act of kindness, but thankful nonetheless. 

“i’m alright, i think. he was a lot nicer over text, so maybe he just needs to warm up to me or something?” 

the man’s displeased with your response; he would’ve rather you walk out on the date right there. “...okay. i’m sungho, by the way. my seat’s just over there, so just give me a look if you need saving.” sungho returns to his table, looking at you before he picks up his book again and pretends to read. 

“listen, she really wants me to come home soon, so i might have to leave in an hour or so.” one more hour spent with this weirdo. you don’t think you could last another ten minutes. 

“that’s fine, i understand it’s something important!” you’re unsure how you maintain such a cheerful act when it feels like your date lied about who he was on the phone with just moments ago. 

“so, are you doing anything later?” he places his phone face down on the table before leaning back in his chair. this was the first time his attention is entirely on you, but after everything you’ve seen, you’re immediately turned off. 

“probably going to work on some papers i have coming up, i’m pretty swamped right now when it comes to my assignments.” you didn’t actually have anything urgent you needed to work on, but you didn’t want to make yourself available for whatever he was about to propose.

“that’s a shame. i was planning on going out to the new club that opened a couple streets down,” minwoo pouts at you, making you groan in disgust internally. “you’re nice and all, but i can’t help thinking about what you’d really be like once you got some alcohol in ya!” 

“oh… what’s wrong with the way i’m acting now?” 

“well, not that there’s anything bad about you, you just seem a bit… uptight! i was just saying you need to loosen up bit. maybe all that coursework has you pent up, if you know what i mean.” you shiver at his implications. minwoo places his sweaty fingers atop yours, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. you try to pull away, but he keeps his grip firm as he smirks at you. 

you quickly glance over to sungho, finding that he was already looking at you, waiting for your signal of help. you bite your lip slightly before giving him a small nod. sungho takes his hat off, finally giving you a proper look at him as he runs his hand into his hair. he’s quick to close his book and tuck it under his arm, making his way over to your table in a few long strides. 

“Y/N? what are the chances i run into you here!” he sounds genuinely happy to see an old friend, placing his palm on your shoulder reassuringly as he takes his place beside you. sungho’s so good at the bit, you’re convinced he might be an acting major. “actually, leehan said he found your lab report in the library just now. didn’t we need to turn that in yesterday?” his words are urgent as he shows you random messages on his phone. it was leehan who he was texting, but the contents of their messages weren’t remotely related to his made-up story. 

“fuck, i totally forgot about that,” you place your hand on your forehead, feigning stress over your fake lost assignment. “minwoo, it’s been really nice meeting you, but my entire grade relies on getting that report in, so i might have to leave earlier than expected…”

“oh, really? i haven’t turned in any of my assignments in weeks!” you hold yourself back from rolling your eyes; of course he was a shitty student to top it all off. he was probably on the verge of getting kicked out for his bad habits. 

“Y/N, leehan just said he needs to go to class soon, we might want to go now before he has to leave.” 

“shit, actually?” sungho nods eagerly, making it seem like you urgently need to leave. “i’m so sorry about this minwoo, i should get going.”

“okay, i’ll text you later then?” you hum in response, grabbing your belongings as sungho is practically pushing you away from the table and towards the exit. he holds the door open for you as you step outside, heading in the opposite direction of the store. 

“are you really going to text him later?” sungho’s walking beside you as you count the cracks in the sidewalk. 

you let out a pitiful laugh at the silly question. “god, no. there’s no way i’m going to be in contact with that freak any time soon.” 

“good. anyone could see he was a piece of shit.” his words stung a bit; you felt humiliated. to think that you genuinely thought minwoo might be your chance at a college romance, yet you needed to be saved by a stranger. your judge of character might be worse than you think.

you find yourself at a nearby park far away from the bakery, sitting idly at the swingset. your savior is still with you, an empty swing between you as he kicks the pebbles on the ground. you’re not sure why he’s still there, but you’re comforted by his company in the aftermath. 

why is dating so hard? you curse yourself for not seeing this outcome sooner. there really wasn’t any way you could’ve predicted minwoo would act like that– in a way, it feels like your fault. maybe you weren’t the type of person people would want to date. maybe there was no chance of you finding someone good to settle down with before you graduated. did it have to do with you? maybe it wasn’t the dating culture holding you back. you don’t know why your eyes begin to well up, but you stifle back your sniffles as a tear falls into your lap. 

sungho immediately picks up on your emotions. he doesn’t normally know what to do in situations like this, but he’s sure he wants to comfort you. “hey, hey… are you crying?” he moves to kneel down in front of you. 

he pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket, offering it out to you. you quickly take it, looking away as you dab at your eyes. “fuck, this is so embarrassing.” you force out a laugh, trying to make light of the situation.

“it’s not embarrassing,” sungho pauses for a moment as he thinks about what to say. “sometimes people don’t turn out to be how you think they are.” sungho wants to slap himself for struggling to find the words he wants to tell you.

“i guess, but i’m sitting here crying in front of a stranger.” you look down at him, feeling small despite the fact that he was on the ground in front of you now.

“i’d like for us to be friends, at least.” you giggle at his comment, giving him a nod of agreement. 

“maybe this is a sign for me to give up.” your words are full of defeat. 

sungho’s confused from the lack of context. “give up?”

“give up on love. i don’t know why i thought i could find something on a dating app, for god’s sake. i guess it’s just not for me.” sungho knows whats he wants to say now. he wants to tell you you’re beautiful. he wants to tell you that you deserve to be treated well. he wants to tell you that anyone would be stupid to give up the opportunity to love you. 

he knows he shouldn’t say all that, at least not now. “would you give it one more chance? y’know, if the opportunity ever showed up.” 

“yeah, if that ever happened. i’m starting to feel like a lost cause here, sungho.” you scoff. after so many failed encounters with love, you felt like it was time for you to take a break.  “you’re acting like the right person is going to magically show up in front of me.”

there’s silence in the air between you as the leaves rustle the trees above. “this might be the worst possible time to do this, but would you let me take you out on a date, Y/N?”

...part two? (i have ideas for it already. Plz lmk if u guys GAF.)

taglist: @onedoornet @minwrlds @serejae @loserlvrss @gluion

© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!

[k-dokja]

Oh, no! You had a fight! Anyway...

— Jonggun: Oh, word? You had a fight? He didn't even notice. He was so calm through all of it, you probably got annoyed with him and left. He lets it sit for a few days so your anger has time to simmer down before he approaches you again.

If he was in the wrong, which he rarely believes he is, he will try to goad you into physical intimacy again to make it up for you. If not and he finds your distance too annoying, he'll try to buy your good grace back with materialistic means. Smh. Do it again Jonggun.

— Joongoo: Genuinely refuses to be wrong even when he knows he's wrong. Somewhere in the middle of the fight, Joongoo realizes you actually make sense but he's committed to it so he will argue to the end even if it means pissing you off for good.

Will try to give you the cold shoulder back but it lasts for like three days until he comes over to pester you again. When you continue to ignore him, he tries to throw that treatment right back but fails and then doubles down on pestering you until you give.

— Vasco: Let's be real, it's not an actual fight. You just got exasperated because he's too dense to be helped and no matter how you try to explain, he won't get it.

Jace has to intervene at some point to explain that Vasco is just slow, not ill-meaning. Once it clicks for him what's actually bothering you, Vasco is pretty quick to apologize even if it isn't his fault. He doesn't like to see you upset, after all.

— Daniel: It's eating him alive. He got a flight-or-flight instinct to your disappointed tone. You don't even have to raise your voice at him, he's already fawning over you. Unless he thinks it's crucial that he's in the right, Daniel is pretty fast to diffuse the tension.

Never want to reach the point of fighting with you ever. But in the days after the fight, his people-pleasing mode is dialled up to the thousands with you. Will do anything just to see you give him one of your smiles.

— Jake: Most of your arguments don't escalate to fights. Honestly, he's pretty good at containing the situation. He'd rather you calm and articulate your point better than trying to argue with you. Hell, even if you said the most illogical thing ever, he'll probably agree with you.

Typical "happy wife, happy life" guy in a relationship. He'll try to make it up for you whether he was in the wrong or not. However, you can see when he's really in the wrong, he's extremely sincere. Probably be softer with you for the rest of the month.

— Samuel: It's annoying to fight with him because you know he won't ever be the one to lose his temper... visibly first. Has the habit of getting demeaning and nasty once he's truly irritated. Will probably say something insulting that he totally means.

Go on ahead, hit him with a bri—okay, maybe don't choose violence. Genuinely speaking, the best method to deal with him during an argument is to stay as calm as he is. Don't even expect an apology if he was in the wrong, that's just asking for too much.

— Eli: Another prime example of letting you with about 98% of the argument. He will sometimes bicker back with you if he knows it's not a serious thing. Jokingly teases you if you get worked up about small matters, but ultimately tries to pacify you.

Think it's pretty cute when you lose your composure? Won't tell you that though, he knows he'll sleep on the couch if he did. Super quick on trying to apologize and calm you down if he thinks it's not worth it. However, he's super serious if the argument is about heavy matters.

— Johan: This one is going to argue right back if you get annoying enough for him. It's so not worth getting into an argument with him because he'll be a sore loser if he lost. He'll be pouty and irritable for days afterwards, even if he knew he was in the right.

You probably have to be the one who went to soothe him because of that. It's so easy for you to win back his good grace, just make his favourite food and wait for him to come out... doesn't that just sound like—

[zerokurokawa]

Can I request a jealous rindou ignoring the reader? Then they makes up for it?? thank you!

Jealous Rindou X Reader | Uncanny Tutoring Sessions

You had been spending a lot of time with a guy studying that seriously needed some tutoring. He was failing every class and since you were the top of your class, the teacher had asked you to tutor him so he wouldn’t have to spend his days in summer school.

Rindou was okay with it at first, but this soon became an everyday thing. The tutoring sessions would last for hours considering the guy just simply wasn’t grasping the materials that you have been teaching him. As for a matter of fact, it was obvious that the guy liked you. He was constantly flirting with you and trying to get your number, even when you insisted that you had a boyfriend.

You even told Rindou about this, and he didn’t take it very well – threatening to kick the guy's ass if he didn’t lay off. He had wanted you to stop the tutoring sessions immediately but since you were doing it for extra credit, you couldn’t.

This led to Rindou being seriously jealous. He soon began to ignore your calls and text messages along with not coming over after school. Since you were in your senior year of school, Rindou had made a habit of picking you up everyday and going and doing something. The tutoring sessions had gotten in the way of that, and now Rindou was pissed.

After days of not hearing a word from Rindou, you finally muster up the courage to go and talk to him at his apartment that he shared with his brother. You knocked on the door and Ran answered.

“Hey y/n, Rindou is in his room.” He said nonchalantly as he went to go lay back down on the couch, watching his favorite TV show. You nodded your head and walked your way to Rindou’s room to find the door cracked.

“Hey… Why are you ignoring me?” You asked, while opening and closing the door all the way to give you both some privacy. He continued not to speak, just turning his face towards his computer and ignoring you fully.

You spoke again, “Rin, please answer me,” as you sat down on his bed, trying to think of ways to get his attention. Rindou plugged up his headphones and began to listen to the mixes he had been making. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk to you out of pure jealously of this other guy.

You got up and stormed out, thinking he would chase after you, but didn’t. On the way home, you passed a record store and saw that they had a new stereo system that Rindou had been wanting for his room. That’s when you got the bright idea to go inside, buy the sound system, and bring it back to his apartment.

You walked clean into his room and plopped it on the bed, gesturing a confused Rindou to open the box. As he did, his jaw dropped in amazement.

“Now tell me, why have you been ignoring me?” You asked once more.

“You’ve been spending all of your time with that loser guy friend of yours. I can’t fucking stand seeing you with him or anybody else.” He said as he opened the box to reveal the new stereo system.

“Does this make up for the fact that I was spending too much time with another guy?” You asked, hoping he would make amends with you.

“Not quite, but it’ll do.” He smirked as he walked over to you. He wrapped his arms around you and started pecking your neck with kisses. You knew where this would lead, and ultimately, it did.

Now that you two have made up, Rindou made a point for you to stop the tutoring sessions as they were getting a little out of hand and you made Rindou promise to communicate his desires and jealously instead of ignoring you from now on.

"Now, shall we continue where we left off?" He smirked again.

(A/N: I hope you like it anon!! It's so early here)

[applestorms]

the winners & losers of death note

after repeatedly trying and failing to write this death note essay i'm just gonna go for it:

the fundamental flaw of L, whether you see this as a flaw/discrepancy in his character or the writing surrounding him itself, is the fact that by the time of his death, he has no clear win state. let me explain... by first talking extensively about light aljdsflksd.

MAJOR spoiler warning after this point. 3-ish (very long) sections.

1. light's goals: kira & utopian ideals (ft. fem!light)

i discussed this a bit in my tags on this post talking about how light's core character traits would translate over to a female version of himself, but to elaborate/summarize my thoughts further: i believe that light's fundamental flaw/weakness comes down to his desire to be Seen, to be recognized & validated by the people around him. i often see/hear people describing light's ultimate flaw as "ego," and while that's definitely a part of it, i think this is perhaps a more nuanced/neutral way of understanding it.

as has been pointed out before, light's goal of becoming the "god of the new world," isn't really an idea he immediately comes up with but rather is more of a retroactive justification that he clings to for the rest of the series after the initial rush of guilt he feels for murdering two people without thinking. this is perhaps even more obvious in the manga, as while episode 1 of the anime ends with light's claim to godhood, in the manga it takes him a lot longer to build up to that conclusion and really develop the full extent of his hubris. (EDIT: he totally says this in ch1 of the manga too, i just forgot. the point about it being retroactive justification still stands, though.) even so, i think post-death note light takes to this justification so easily for a reason: again, his desire to be seen.

before the death note, light takes a very understandable if somewhat flawed/juvenile approach to this sating this desire, specifically in how he aims to excel in every single system he is presented with, whether that be academics, sports/physicality (not just tennis, but physical attractiveness/neatness/cleanliness), and social interactions. it's that last category that i think is the most notable here, as light wants to succeed socially on multiple levels: on a personal scale, he aims to be pleasing and charming and polite to everyone he speaks to, for the sake of manipulating them, sure, but also so that he can extend that victory past personal relationships and into something Greater, into the Image of Light Yagami as the studious, respectable son. it isn't just enough for him to do well, he needs the reputation to go along with it, and the recognition and respect that comes with it.

this is part of the reason why the lind l. tailor moment is such a beautiful part of the writing of death note, as it is a moment where L simultaneously fucks light over massively, pinpointing his location and sending a squad his way in an instant, but also a moment where L gives light exactly what he wants: recognition. L doesn't just establish himself as a rival to take seriously w/ this move, he also reveals kira's existence to the world, that the deaths are the actions of a single person consciously and carefully acting and not just some divine power. he see's light's humanity, the potential cracks in his ego and temper, the overwhelming humanity of his ideals, efficiently using such traits to get kira to reveal himself in the first place.

i tend to take a lot of light's explanations of his actions to ryuk with a grain of salt as i think he is a lot less skilled at planning than he lets on, with his real skill being his in-the-moment acting & reactions, but i'm inclined to believe him when he tells ryuk in ch1 that

as a justification for not writing more specific deaths and therefore hiding his existence for longer. keep in mind, kira is established on the internet long before L enters the picture & the lind l. tailor incident-- light is utilizing the death note to push himself into the spotlight of the entire globe, not just the limited social sphere he grew up with.

(sidenote1: i think you can also definitely read into this on a more internal level of why light would want to be recognized so badly in the first place, considering how busy soichiro yagami most likely is and what their relationship looks like throughout the series. i don't think there's any evidence that he's actively neglectful necessarily, if anything light is described as being pretty spoiled & soichiro cares about him when he's around, but it still feels notable to me how empty his life is pre-death note. you can just Feel the silence as he goes through the motions in the first episode, barely talking to anyone as he ghosts his way through life. he might be succeeding in everything system he approaches technically, but that sure as hell doesn't make him happy. whether or not the death note makes him happy is a whole nother question...)

ANYWAYS. this is all to say that light's ideals give him a pretty clear win state, both in terms of what he actually, physically wants in terms of world domination/godhood, but also emotionally when it comes to what truly satisfies him. on a meta level, kira gives light really good motivation-- for the sake of his ideals, for the sake of trying to create his vision of a utopian society, for the sake of being Seen, he needs to keep writing names and out-thinking anyone who tries to stop him. on an internal level, it just starts getting complicated when the one who Sees him best is the one who fully dedicated to stopping him.

speaking of which.

2. L's goals: no real win state?

the lind l. tailor moment is such a fantastic instance in the story because it really works both ways in setting up the rivalry/mutual satisfaction that L and light grant each other. i've already described what light gets out of it, and simultaneous terror and delight that he gets out of it, but this is mostly an L post so let's talk about his side of things.

to my understanding, if what light fundamentally wants is to be Seen, what L fundamentally wants is to Win. ok, yeah, the way he says it is that he "hates losing," but same difference.

the problem with this desire is that in order for L to win or lose, he needs circumstances under which those options are the two main choices in the first place-- he needs a game, someone to test himself against, a challenge(r). when lind l. tailor dies and L proves kira's meager human existence to the world he practically sounds like he's cumming his pants, so i think we can assume kira stands as a particularly alluring challenge for him.

this also explains why L gets so depressed and frustrated with light over the course of the yotsuba arc. not only is light somehow out-foxing him by creating a circumstance under which he can claim not to be kira and actually be correct insofar as his memories are concerned, light has also set the game so that he's stepped off the board entirely, trusting his planning and his own non-death note influenced psyche and denouncing his role as a player entirely. in a way you could read this as light utilizing the one strength he has over L to his advantage: not just his awareness of the supernatural, as people often say, but the fact that kira has goals outside of winning, which can't really be said for L (or at least not without some additional extrapolation/interpretations of his inner psyche).

this is why my main claim here is that L doesn't really have a clear win state. for kira, winning consists of a few clear, distinct things: a utopian world, free from crime, under the reign of kira, where light has the control & worship of a god. for L, winning is a lot less distinct: really just. not letting light do all that. as this other post points out, it really isn't that far off to assume that L's motivations might've shifted from his initial state goal of executing kira, particularly as he gets more attached to light on an individual level, even if it's more as a rival than a true friendship. L is a liar and a troll, yes, but he still has "flashes of sentiment," and it makes a lot of sense to me that so many people see L winning as him stealing light away for himself to be locked away for the rest of their lives.

(sidenote2: i believe it was one of the jdramas (?) that actually does portray L winning but specifically at the cost of his own life, which again fits considering everything i just went through. i don't think L is actively suicidal at the idea of no longer having kira as a rival (well. <3< rival, the children yearn for kismesissitude), but. well, see the final section of this essay where i talk more about boredom for more on that.)

ultimately, light and L kind of suffer for the same reason: living for the rivalry, but also because of that never being truly satisfied no matter which way they come out in the end. the tragic yaoi of it all. i guess one of the conclusions here is that you should read this fic time speaks by aSmallMoon333 for a fascinating evolution of the rivalry past the supposed ending point of canon. anywho.

3. L's death: a failure of writing, or character?

hot take (??? genuinely can't tell if this is hot anymore so ig mean this like, partially sarcastically) but L's death is kind of really fucking unsatisfying, especially if you're witnessing it for the first ever time. i remember distinctly reading the manga back in high school and being really caught off guard by it, despite already having been spoiled about it, and while i pinpointed the cause initially being the fact that light doesn't even bother to write down the damn name himself, i think there's a lot more to this than that.

i've been writing about this idea of L not having a clear win state primarily under the approach of character analysis, looking at L's motivations and emotional desires to see how they inform what him winning would look like, but you could very well read this as being a flaw in the writing surrounding him as well.

L's not really a moral character, primarily because that's one of the main ways he's a foil to light-- where light is painfully, excruciatingly human, naive in his ideals, dedicated to them at all costs, L is a lot more apathetic, perhaps not to the same degree as near sometimes comes across (though he has more to him too, even if the anime doesn't really give enough time for that), but still enough to be generally considered a pretty amoral character. L definitely comes across to me as the type of person that understands the world deeply on an intellectual level, but struggles to meaningfully emotionally connect with it. the way he interacts with people is the clearest example of this, again making him a foil to light in that he gives no shits about how people view him and prefers staying hidden as much as possible, creating detailed psychological profiles of the criminals he follows but still misreading details in-the-moment while speaking to people (the autism. the autism), but i think this could very well extend to how he views morals as well, deciding that kira is evil on a logical level because people dying=bad but not really emotionally connecting with that. like,

yeah yeah they're both JUSTICE!! or whatever, but is this really true? not to get into an in-depth discussion on the nature of ethics & morality in my tumblr essay (though i actually wouldn't mind doing that...), but as the series and especially the yotsuba arc goes on, it becomes more and more clear that L's lack of attachment to people extends to his lack of attachment to traditional ethics. time and time again, L does shady shit for the sake of finding kira, whether that be covering the yagami household in a truly absurd number of cameras, recruiting actual criminals to help with the investigation, or chaining some kid to him 24/7 for weeks on end. this is a large part of the reason behind why i question what winning would actually look like for L-- would he be willing to turn kira in, should he get sufficient evidence to put light through the actual justice system? even if he is willing to give that rivalry up, i have a hard time believing he wouldn't want to confirm the death by doing it himself or something. but if that's the case, then why bother waiting? clearly, he's pretty fucking sure that light is kira, and he basically does figure everything out by the end of the yotsuba arc. so, why? is he waiting to prove it to the task force? is he still waiting for light to incriminate himself? but that seems like an awfully stupid thing to still be waiting for. what does L actually want here?

^^^ this last entire paragraph was basically my motivation for writing this, btw. ultimately, i still don't know if i have a conclusion that i'm really satisfied with, here. perhaps it really is just that light isn't the one to pull the trigger in the end, the nerve of a move that bitchy that kinda instinctively icks me out. or maybe ohba just wrote it bad!! idk. final thoughts-wise.........

one satisfying thing: in a way, light wins because he wins over people (namely, the rest of the task force), which tracks. the only reason why he keeps winning post-L death is because of this win, actually, which keeps him going for years despite the fact that he's doing objectively a dogshit job as L, as near so sweetly points out.

one unsatisfying thing: you could read L as losing because ohba doesn't actually have all that extensive of a view of what a good view of justice would look like, particularly in opposition to kira's view. in a way, L kind of just ends up representing a return to the status quo, where the criminals that kira is so desperate to purge are simply dealt with in the usual way & their crimes are a fact of life. perhaps this is asking too much, the rivalry alone is fun enough to watch without having to get too in-depth asking question about ideal global justice systems and the nature of crime & criminals. i genuinely do think a part of my frustration here is just that light was too much of a bitch to kill his main rival by his own hand, despite holding himself to a more respectable Standard in desperate moments prior (e.g. not taking the eyes deal w/ naomi misora). but it's at least an adjacent question, and maybe establishing more clearly what L's true win would've looked like could have made light's eventual victory just a bit more satisfying, instead of feeling like it comes out of nowhere after his extensive planning miraculously works perfectly according to keikaku. it's almost the marvel problem as is... but i digress.

bonus: boredom

in my recent reread/rewatch of the series, i keep getting struck by how much i really like the beginning of death note, like the beginning beginning of the series and when each main character is initially introduced, especially light and ryuk.

i don't think it's too much of a stretch to equate "boredom" with "depression" in this context. long before L is introduced to the series ryuk is the one being presented as light's equal and opposite-- parallels from opposite worlds, mutually disgusted by their own kind and the miserable state the world around them has devolved to. for L this sentiment is a bit less overt, mostly because again, apathy, but the fact that he spends the majority of his time hyperfixated on the worst parts of humanity speaks of something. perhaps i'll have more feelings about this upon rereading the ending, as that's a bit (a lot) fuzzy in my mind, but it's one of the main points i emotionally resonated with the strongest, a point of connection i keep coming back to.

light really is just a kid, at the core of everything. a teenager that did everything he was supposed to and still couldn't make himself happy with it. that's the real tragedy of death note to me, that for all he did to create a better, more ideal world, he never felt all that happy with any of it. not that he would admit that. but what is light yagami's greatest skill if not his denial...

[lilhealthybean]

heartbreak girl

"But what's even more frustrating is knowing the fact that they treat you so bad and I am so good to you. It's unfair"

tags: haikyuu, kuroo

notes: i remade the remade version, lol, sorry if this appear to you again.

Kuroo wasn't enthusiastic about sharing his apartment with a stranger, until he met you. How could he not be? You were kind, gentle, and just as much of a nerd as him. The connection was instant, and before he knew it, he was deeply in love with you.

How you always prepared extra food for him, the way you talked to him, and how you started doing routines with him - like Thursdays of tacos or Sundays of skincare routine. You were his guardian angel, and he started to feel the need to make you as happy as you made him.

Unluckily for him, it was a difficult situation. When he found out from Kenma that you were not only single, but in a toxic relationship, his heart sank and all his hopes of being in a relationship with you disappeared.

The first time he became aware was while studying in his bedroom; he overheard your partner insulting you and complaining about how useless you were. When Kuroo heard the entrance door closing violently, he left his bedroom and took you out for dinner to make you feel better.

A week after the incident, you knocked on his bedroom door with tears streaming down your face. Your partner had broken up with you. Being the gentleman he was, Kuroo took care of you all week. Even though you tried to act like everything was fine, Kuroo's heart shattered every time he heard you sobbing in your room.

What could he do to mend your broken heart? Would he be able to offer his own? If he could, he would do it without hesitation. Kuroo couldn't bear to see you in such pain.

Days later, Kuroo came back early and planned to take you out for a meal to continue comforting you. To his surprise, upon opening the door, he found you cuddling with your ex on the couch in the apartment. Initially confused, he soon realized that you had reconciled with your ex. Despite his own emotions, he smiled and accepted it upon hearing your laughter, as your happiness was paramount to him.

If only he had known what was to come.

Your toxic partner would break up with you at least twice a month, and Kuroo, being the kind soul he was, would console and heal your heart. Just as you were beginning to recover, that despicable person would resurface in your life.

He understood he was trapped in an endless cycle, but Kuroo couldn't bring himself to abandon you. Ultimately, he was a fool for you. Nevertheless, everything has its limits, and Kuroo was no exception.

One day, as he was returning to the apartment, he encountered your partner in front of the entrance. Kuroo wasn't naive; he knew that both of you were fighting again. Tired of the mistreatment towards you, he gathered all the courage he had to grab your partner by the collar of their t-shirt. He could feel his whole body trembling; he had always preferred to avoid such confrontations with those kinds of people, but it was for you, so that you could live a better life.

It was now or never.

"Listen, I know we haven't properly met, but I have no intention of doing so. What I aim to do is mend your heart and mind. However, you, being the jerk you are, always mess everything up and leave as if nothing happened. If you fail to see how poorly you've treated someone, just go, loser," Kuroo said with a thin yet commanding voice as his gaze fixed on the filthy person in front of him. "Y/n deserves someone better."

Your parent remained silent, taken aback by Kuroo's words, then chuckled.

"Honestly? Yes, I truly believe it. You know why? Because I wouldn't want my partner to feel the way y/n has been feeling since you showed up. I am a real man and would do everything possible to be worthy of y/n. Unlike you, I genuinely love y/n and will do everything to make y/n smile," Kuroo said as he gently pushed your partner towards the elevator and gazed up at them. He then proceeded to open the door of his apartment, casting a disdainful look at your partner once more.

Upon entering the apartment, he spotted you on the couch. You looked at him, blushing. He swallowed nervously, realizing that you had overheard the previous exchange.

"This situation is messed up, I apologize for everything you heard…" Kuroo confessed, staring at the floor as he made his way to his bedroom. "I'm sorry, I got so frustrated with your partner's behavior… But what's even more frustrating is knowing the fact that they treat you so bad and I am so good to you. It's unfair" he added before disappearing into his bedroom and sinking onto his bed, feeling embarrassed by his actions.

What has he done?

Next morning Kuroo was holding a tray with your favorite breakfast on it, prepared to apologize. However, when he opened your door, he noticed most part of your things were gone. A letter rested on the mattress that used to be your bed. He quickly placed the trail on the living room's table and took the letter.

Apparently, Kuroo's confession made you realize that you were doing everything wrong, so you decided to uproot and start a new life in a new place.

You were truly gone.

You let Kuroo go out of guilt, knowing it wasn't fair for him to wait for you after all he had done for you.

After two years since that farewell, you couldn't believe you bumped into him in a random park in Miyagi. Your palms were sweating, how could he be there? In your hometown? And why was he chatting with your neighbor Hinata?

Your heartbeat raced, and you didn't know what to do. Thankfully, Kuroo and Hinata were turning their backs on you, giving you a moment to think. You would be lying if you said you hadn't been thinking of him in the last years, and how once you healed, you realized what a great guy he was.

Was life offering you another chance with him?

Excited, you began to approach them. This time it was going to be different; this time, you could be someone deserving of his affection. You were no longer a naive and easily influenced teenager unsure of what to do. Just as you were about to tap Kuroo's shoulder, they both started walking away. You smiled, sighed, and chose to let him go.

You let Kuroo slip through your fingers once again, but this time as a gesture of gratitude towards him.