#but uh. guess we're not doing that

[ferberus-skull]

okay yikes. was gonna grab another plague egg for tomorrow but uh. they're 290-300g rn and um. i'm not doing that.

[tenderhooked]

in a move even MORE predictable for me, i am now knees-deep in the de-aged river fic and having Thee time of my absolute life about it

[dreamupdates]

Drista tweeted on Dream's music twitter!

[mercymaker]

brothers, sisters, i literally want to turn myself inside out like those octopus plushies like...

i am SO tired

more and more i feel like i'm not even living anymore. i don't even have a sense of time anymore. my brain is either rotating like a turd in aerated water, attached to nothing, or sticks to the most random tasks like a fridge magnet i have no control over

my life feels like that window of time between waking up and 2pm when you have an appointment scheduled and can't do anything. literally waiting for i have absolutely no clue what. waiting for things to return to normal? to feel like myself? idk man. send help

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

[ecos-syscourse]

Update! we're mixed origin! deal with it!

(is traumaneuro a term? we're traumagenic and neurogenic.)

we found that our existential ocd caused a lot of our dissociation, especially when we were young and our system was first forming. (idk, some time between the years 4-8 if you need that information. those were the years that we first experienced a bit of trauma (age 4) and then existential ocd (also age 4), and then the year we got out of therapy. (age 8, I think?))

it did cause us to dissociate, yes.

we actually didn't know this until recently, but apparently ocd can cause disassociative symptoms and can be comorbid with disassociative disorders. who knew?

we have two alters that we think may have been the first to split off, and one is neurogenic and one is traumagenic.

not only this, but a lot of our alters are formed from trauma, so we are still going to keep that.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 15: Interior Design (Just Got Back From Heaven)

So I'm just gonna go the easy route today and link back to my earlier post about this album, because it covers mostly everything I have to say about it. An update on my fav songs which is that Just Got Back From Heaven and A Walk Down Memory Lane have also joined their ranks since (and did I really not give a shoutout to So Important last time? Well, doing that now!). All in all I'm really fond of this album and I think it deserves more love!

[creatively-cosmic]

Lost trainers.

The resident text over the doodles on the second page:

silvers only pkmn is a feraligator whose health is failing. he released and gave his others away in his grief and regret.

followed by (gold) unown

visible eyebags. struggles to sleep and cant rest well when he does because of nightmares (prophetic visions :x)

carries my (golds) backpack

generally a recluse. bro cannot make friends

[bumblingbabooshka]

Live Fast & Prosper

[mukuharakazui]

While Count Fosco is meant to be a figure for English characters and readers to fear, he does feel very liberating to me not just as a 21st century reader but as a nationally and culturally perpetual outsider. He expresses willingness to accept and reject facets of various national philosophies (explicitly highlighting English and Chinese). He is able to speak the Englishman's English flawlessly and adhere to their social customs while also embracing stereotypically Italian traits which are degrading when viewed through the English lens (e.g. singing and enjoying opera, caring for his pet white mice, engaging in homosocial relations).

Professor Pesca adores the English language and culture and wishes to assimilate into it, but he cannot integrate successfully. He is physically small. His life is in debt to Englishman Walter Hartwright. Pesca represents a foreigner which England's language, people, and culture have successfully "conquered." Meanwhile, Count Fosco, physically tall and fat, is described as having "tamed" his English wife, English woman Marian Halcombe, and Englishman Percival Glyde, the latter of whom is indebted to him. He can act as a perfect imitation of an Englishman if he pleases, but he only does so when it benefits him personally. He has conquered the English language, people, and culture.

Reverse colonization was a major fear of 19th century English people, and while I think it's funny to scare the English, my place anywhere functions similarly to Fosco's in England. Wherever I go, including the place I was born, I bring some other cultural values, languages, and perceptions with me. To see Fosco openly display a sense of foreignness without insecurity is oddly empowering considering his status as a foreigner with negative ties to his home country and as the primary villain of The Woman in White. However, the fact that he can hold social power due to his unique perceptions as someone who doesn't fit into his home country despite acting as a clear stereotype of its people is something that feels familiar to me.

[hopefulsapphic]

looks like i might go trick or treating tonight after all 👻

[grinchwrapsupreme]

Summertime means shakepeare in the park 😩😩😩

[elytrafemme]

not to talk disjointedly about IRL friend drama on tumblr but a very minute and incredibly selfish (thus why i can't voice it out loud) thing i'm experiencing is because of the whole nature of this conflict one of my close friends basically can't be in her dorm room very much because it's a hostile environment which i cannot emphasize enough sucks so badly for her and that is the central core issue that all of us basically have in this situation. weve talked about it extensively. but the byproduct of that is that this + the fact that they're dating one of my best friends means that after a certain hour (which is just like... any time after 7 i would say) it becomes borderline impossible to just hang out with my best friend on our own because even if we make plans to do something, we'll inevitably get dinner with our friend group and then there's like... like obviously no night ends with just us as a Duo it ends with them hanging out so inevitably i overstay my welcome. and like i get that's because my friend doesn't have many other places to go but this is like the third time i've wanted to take a walk with my best friend, something we did constantly last semester even after they were dating, and i have been canceled on. which again i get because obviously i don't have hard feelings towards them given the situation it just is a bit upsetting because like... i love my friend group but i want to be able to see literally anybody one on one without feeling like a proxy in a social group (especially since i don't talk very much when we're in a whole group setting due to like psychological recent issues and also being on the quieter end generally). yeah

[mercymaker]

was having a 'meh' kind of day, so decided to just chill, play video games, work on some gifs

and as i was editing a gif, this sort of emptiness crept up on me and i just sat there like 'why am i even making this'

[ratatatastic]

do you write fic on ao3?

unfortunately for everyone involved i do!

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS