#but ugh idk what to do now im gonna be second guessing every decision i make for the rest of my life

[songwritingauslly]

why does talking to people feel like im taking a test like one wrong answer and i fail

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

[buttjaehyun]

me vs. my best friend (kpop edition)

welcome to whatever this is i guess, well my nickname is nana so nice to meet y’all and since this is a post about me AND my best friend her nickname is kun so i’m just gonna refer to her as kun so just saying that now do y’all don’t get confused later

WARNING: this is an extremely long post so if you don’t want to read all of it i can’t blame you but it did take me roughly 8 hours to write this so i’d appreciate it if you read it but it’s okay if you don’t^^ also please respect our opinions and if any of you want to answer these questions in the comments or reblogs then please feel free to do so!!

so this was originally gonna be a youtube video but honestly i’m way too lazy to edit roughly 82 different music videos into 15 minutes. so i’m just gonna do it here until i get motavated enough to actually download 82 music videos and edit them down into clips. at the bottom of this is a spotify playlist of the songs i was gonna download audio/music videos for if you want to take a listen, there is one for me and one for kun ^^

so i guess i’ll start btw kun’s list took me SO LONG cause she’s also indecisive so we sat on the phone for 2 hours while she was answering these questions i swear

me (nana)

kun

both of us

1. Favorite Male Group:

- got7; im not even gonna lie those seven goof balls mean the world to both of us, like we’re seeing them on july 6th for the second year in a row, how can they top the greatest day of our lives?

- i adore all of them so much and they’ve made me the happiest i’ve ever been and i can’t believe i actually fell in love with one of them??? like it sound STUPID AF but like i deadass fell in love with mark tuan and i don’t regret it at all

- MY BOYS! honestly because of them i laugh constantly and can’t help but love them! especially yugyeom! he’s so cute i can’t! his eyes, his voice, his everything i adore him and he owns my heart from now until forever

2. Favorite Female Group:

- aoa; aoa was my first girl group besides f(x) and they have a special place in my heart but other then them i also adore twice

- red velvet; im not too into girl groups but i’m trying but so far i really enjoy red velvet and their personalities and they’re few of the girl groups i actually know the names of lol

3. Favorite Band:

- day6; we’re jyp stan’s at heart (and sm stan’s im not gonna lie) we’ve loved all of jyp’s groups and soloists thus far, honestly day6 doesn’t have a single bad song if you ask us

(dowoon owns my heart just thought you would like to know that)

(and brian owns mine whoops)

4. Favorite Underrated Boy Group:

- the boyz; they’re so cute and talented so stan them asap plz (also stan astro my bubs) okay so this one was hard for me ngl, i adore the group kun chose from the bottom of my heart but a lot of our answers are similar so i wanted to change it up

- astro; thanks to nana she dragged me into loving these goof balls and i’m so glad she did, they’re all so adorable and they have great music so stan my babies :(( sanha is the cutest babie and i love him please love my beagle boy

5. Favorite Underrated Girl Group:

- dreamcatcher; hands down one of the easiest questions for me? like idk i adore these girls and they’re great so please stan :D

- clc; MY GIRLS MY QUEENS okay so other than red velvet they’re my favorite girl group and i’m absolutely not gonna deny that

6. Favorite Rookie Boy Group:

- stray kids

so i’ve stanned stray kids since predebut, specifically when hellevator was released, YALL HAVE NO CLUE HOW HYPED I WAS im serious i didn’t shut up about these boys and i’m so glad they’re so beyond successful and i adore each and every one of them p.s stream side effects

i’ve liked stray kids since predebut but after nana’s persistence i ended up adoring the members more than anything (except yugyeom) i major stanned since january of 2018 and i’m so proud of my boys :((

7. Favorite Rookie Girl Group:

- itzy; so other than everglow it was hard for us to make a decision on this, neither of us STAN STAN many girl groups so most girl group debuts slip our minds after watching them but dalla dalla had been stuck in both of our heads for months now so that’s why we ended up choose itzy (also jyp girl group duh)

8. Favorite Disbanded Group:

- speed; okay so most people don’t know them and i am: depressed about it but it’s okay, they’re my boys and i love them, one of the members is actually zico’s older brother so oof yes talented family, they’re great and i miss them so much :(((

- history; so roughly towards the end of 2016 i saw their video just might die and queen, nana had already played me queen before and i really enjoyed the song (bop listen to it plz) and i just loved them from then on, after they announced their disbandment last year ngl it hurt cause i love them

(i could only find the audio of just might die without having to download the video so the link to the video is attached to just might die)

9. Favorite Sub Unit:

- NCT Dream; okay i’m not that person to be like Oh I oNlY stAn ThIs UnIt OF nCt no i stan all 21 members and whoever else joins from that HOWEVER all of the dreamies are really really high on my bias list so that’s why i chose them for my favorite unit (stream dnyl thanks :D) im actually listening to dnyl while writing this so love that

so i couldn’t find any gifs of nct dream ot7 so i settled for this cute gif of jisung

- WayV; i love all of nct but kun (+johnny and mark) are at the top of my nct bias list. i love take off and i love every song they’ve released so far, my boys ARE APART OF NCT (for y’all dululu fans) also stream dnyl for nana so she’ll shut up about how much she adores dream not that she’ll ever shut up about how much she loves them tbh

10. Favorite Duo:

- Jus2 + JJ Project

- again here comes the utter LOVE for jyp groups along with got7 i adore both of these duos beyond belief and i need mark to have a duo or a unit or SOMETHING cause i love him with every ounce of my being

- yugyeom. that’s it. yugyeom is the loml and there’s nothing he does where i won’t love him, focus on me hit somewhere different and i LOVE IT and HIM and of course jaebum cause he’s great too uwu i also love both of jjp and i was so exited for tomorrow, today so that helped too^^

11. Favorite Senior Group:

- infinite; so infinite. yeah i’m a HUGE inspirit and i miss hoya, sunggyu, and sungyeol like hell but it’s okay, i adore infinite im not gonna lie (to be fair i adore a lot of groups) and they mean a lot to me, out of my ults i think myungsoo has consistently stayed at the same place since 2016 as my second ultimate bias oof wow, it was also hard to choose between infinite, suju, and shinee like damn

- super junior; so i love suju? i love them more after once again thanks to nana’s persistence after black suit came out even though i was gonna listen to it away, i already loved heechul and leeteuk but dang i really love them and so does nana. but she likes too many groups to just choose one without overthinking it ALOT

12. Favorite Debut Song:

- come back again by infinite; okay so this was also a really hard one cause i love nct’s debut as well as ateez and astro but i ended up choosing come back again cause i find my self searching far and wide just to listen to this song (cause it’s not on apple music or spotify)

- pirate king by ateez; so yes i know that their debut was TECHNICALLY treasure but i love pirate king too much to not say it was my favorite debut, this song is still on constant repeat and always will be like uGH

13. Favorite Male Soloist:

- jeong sewoon; so im a big ol mush pile for all of the produce 101 s2 boys so of course sewoon would be up there with jinyoung, donghan, and SO MANY OTHER GREAT MEN, i adore his voice and the way he sings, he’s just so? great??

- dean; dean was the first kpop artist i ever listened to even without knowing he was a k-r&b artist, i love his voice, it’s so soothing and i can never stop listening to it

14. Favorite Female Soloist:

- chungha; coincidently snapping came out the day before i started writing this so yes?? queen?? but seriously i love her so much and i can’t ever contain my love for her music

- IU; she so ADORABLE? i love all of her music and i can’t believe she’s an actual human being, i seriously love her so much that it’s just uncontainable, she has one of the best voices in the kpop industry

15. Favorite Male Vocalist:

- baekhyun of exo; exo was my first group i ever got into, and they never cease to amaze me when it comes to their music. they never and i mean NEVER disappoint with their albums and bsides, as to why i chose baekhyun is simple, HIS VOICE SENDS CHILLS DOWN MY SPINE i mean so does jongdae but still

- kyungsoo of exo; i love kyungsoo and his voice and i’m going to miss him beyond belief after he leaves on july 1st :(( but seriously his voice knows no bounds and i can’t help but melt when i hear it

16. Favorite Female Vocalist:

- seola of wjsn; so i’m just saying now i don’t know much about wjsn but this girl. her vocals. yes? after her song with kihyun came out i fell in love with her vocals from then

- sunmi; i love my supportive queen, she’s great and beautiful and i love all of her music, i will never fail to bop to heroine at any time of day just because i love her that much like yes queen

17. Favorite Male Dancer:

- ten of nct; i don’t think much needs to be said as to why ten is my favorite male dancer. he is beyond anything i’ve ever seen before and has my complete respect for his passion for dancing and it makes me want to be a better dancer just so i can be proud of myself

- yugyeom of got7; oH i WonDer WhY yUgyEoM iS heRE, seriously i love his dancing more than anything and all of his freestyle clips on instragram make me have the utmost love for him beyond what i already have for him

18. Favorite Female Dancer:

- seulgi of red velvet; i’ve watched her dancing over the years and i’m never not mesmerized by her stage presence and the way she is so detailed with how she moves

- lisa of blackpink; she’s a great dancer and i will never deny that, she’s also a great rapper and her stage presence is great especially when she’s dancing (specifically taki taki)

19. Favorite Male Rapper:

- changbin of stray kids; okay so i knew from the moment i heard hellevator that this group would be big and man did they not disappoint, changbin has one of the best rapping styles and voices i’ve ever heard in my life, his speed and his lyrics are so amazing and 3racha songs are AMAZING too like wow this man and his power over me

- jooheon of monsta x; not only has joohoney wreaked my bias list but he has absolutely one of the most unique voices i’ve ever heard, his raps are so hard hitting and i can’t ever get over them, his solo work has potential to be soty because of how talented he is

20. Favorite Female Rapper:

- jessi; okay so i actually had a few female rappers in mind by it kept going back to jessi each time, i genuinely love her voice and i LIVE for her roasts like yes, also i love all of her music? like she has great music i 10/10 recommend

- yeeun of clc; i don’t know many female rappers but yeeun has been one of my favorites for awhile now and i love her voice, it’s just so great to see how much she’s improved and i’m so proud

21. Favorite Male Choreography:

- superhuman by nct 127; so honestly this was absolutely the hardest question for me, i love dancing and i love most male choreographies so idk why i came to this decision, actually i do, superhuman is honestly a wonderful dance and i love watching it each and every single time i seen it on my recommended on youtube

- highlight by seventeen; the performance unit has so much power and stage presence that it was so hard no to choose this song, they all have such great and precise movements when they dance and it’s beautiful

22. Favorite Female Choreography:

- chase me by dreamcatcher; i love this choreography so much? seriously these girls always kill it and i really want them to grow because they really deserve it

- hobgoblin by clc; this was the first female choreography i really really wanted to learn based on the dance other than russian roulette and dumb dumb by red velvet!!

23. Favorite Male Solo Song:

- fire by sik-k; i absolutely LOVE sik-k so naturally i wanted to choose one of his songs so i went though a bunch if my favorite songs of his and settled on fire, it was a very hard choice though cause addict exists and so does iffy but still

- crooked by g-dragon; crooked has always been one of my favorites by GD it just sounds so different and his voice just makes it one of my favorites, middle fingers-up is a close second for GD

24. Favorite Female Solo Song:

- why by taeyeon; idk why i love this song so much but i just do, i also love taeyeon so much like uwu yes, but seriously i really love all of taeyeons solo music as well as snsd

- honey tea by oohyo; honey tea is one of those songs you could listen to in a cafe or on a relaxing walk with your earbuds in just taking in the crisp air. it makes me feel super calm and just in a space where i feel like everything is chill and cool

25. Favorite Non-Kpop Artist:

- luhan; by baby lulu uwu, i’m absolutely a mushy gushy soft mess for that baby, he’s so cute and kinda and his music is just?? great????? what??? i seriously did not even have a second thought about this but some honorable mentions are definitely big time rush, 5sos, kris wu, joji, etc.

- conan gray; where do i bEGin?! his songs are by far some of my favorites. not only is he a great artist, he has this way with his music that is almost melancholic in sound. it sounds so entrancing and crush culture, generation why, and lookalike are some of my favorites^^

26. Favorite Non-Kpop Song:

- imitation by luhan; remember when i said i was gush for this man? i wasn’t joking. at all. i seriously love his voice and i just UGH love him, and this song?? bop.

- honey by lay; this song has taken over my life. i have it on repeat almost every night because lay did so well. it has such a good beat and so easy to just listen to over and over (but not out loud lolol)

Top 10 Groups:

nana:

1. GOT7

2. NCT

3. Stray Kids

4. Ateez

5. Monsta X

6. Day6

7. EXO + Astro

8. Infinite

9. SF9

10. The Boyz

kun:

1. GOT7

2. NCT

3. Day6

4. Stray Kids

5. EXO

6. Astro

7. Monsta X

8. SF9

9. Ateez

10. Seventeen

Top 10 Biases:

nana:

1. Mark Tuan (GOT7)

2. Myungsoo/L (Infinite)

3. Doyoung, Donghyuck/Haechan, Jaemin, Jaehyun, Jeno, Mark, Yuta, and Taeil (NCT)

4. San (Ateez)

5. Hyunjin, Jisung, Changbin, Felix, and Chan (Stray Kids)

6. Brian/Young K (Day6) + Youngmin (ab6ix)

7. Minhyuk (Monsta X), and Hwiyoung (SF9)

8. Chanyeol, Sehun, and Baekhyun (EXO)

9. Minhyuk/Rocky (Astro)

10. Kevin, Changmin/Q, Eric, Jacob, Sunwoo and Hwall (The Boyz)

kun:

1. Yugyeom (GOT7)

2. Dowoon (Day6)

3. Seungmin & Felix (Stray Kids)

4. Jooheon (Monsta X)

5. Rowoon (SF9)

6. Kun + Mark + Johnny (NCT)

7. Yunho + Mingi (Ateez)

8. Sanha + MJ + JinJin (Astro)

9. S.Coups (Seventeen)

10. Kyungsoo/D.O + Chanyeol (EXO)

[ nana; tumblr playlist ]

[ kun; tumblr playlist ]

btw for kun i added my favorite songs by some of the artists she had listed cause i didn’t ask her and i was too lazy so i hope y’all enjoy both playlists if you want to listen to them ^^

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 14 - “Maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time” - Owen

What the motherfucking ass shit was that. Who in their right mind would let it slip so that Ian/Devon would play an idol. And then Matt playing the idol, first of all wtf I didn't know he had an idol. But god damn that was messy. I'm shook that Maynor and I didn't get any votes in the revote, but wow that paints a target on our backs which is the last thing I want. It makes me feel great about where I'm at with the people I've been talking to and even those outside the alliance. So this is both good and bad but wow messy. Ahhhh I still don't know how to feel, but if that revote tied then maynor and i would've gone to rocks and been out since it would only be us and yeet there I go.

I feel super shitty for doing that to Corey. I don't even know if it was the right thing to do, but I didn't want to have to use my tiebreaker yet and if it had tied I was not about to let Timmy/Maynor go home. I never wanted to turn on Corey in this game but the way this merge has turned out ugh idk. I had to make a choice and I had to choose the group of  people I feel comfortable with over the group of people I'm only tied to because of Corey. It was shitty all around. I'm sorry Corey, I know you're going to be mad at me but asdfkjhf fuck i love u :((( god im shit. okaythat was actually kind of crazy tho and I'm honestly a little happy it went down like that? two idols OUT OF HERE! and that ian idol couldve been so fucked up later on. matt's idol gone got me happy af too. I feel closer with timmy and maynor after this round and hopefully matt knows he cann trust me for not blowin up on him about his HIDDEN IDOL!!!!  madison and I got closer a little this vote too. I'm glad she was on the same page as me. It's a little awkward to deal with the aftermath of devon and ian. especially with corey or cullan coming back.... cullan I can deal with but corey not so much. thats gonna suck. i still got my idol i still got my tiebreaker and a threat is still leaving either way. but now when the pieces rearrange next vote I gotta work hard to pull them together in my favor. kjDFHSKJSF goooooooooooooooooooooooood idk. that wa swild. i said at tribal that the game was gonna blow up soon. maybe i should be careful what I wish for nxt time lmao

Oh... WIG guess this tribal popped the hell awf. At the time of my last confessional I had no intention of playing my idol, but things were just so tense and quiet that I knew it should be done, but boy did I not know how badly it needed to be. Now I’m more scared than ever with like 3 pissed off people and all the eyes on me for having a secret idol. Guess it’s time for everyone to stop playing quiet, easy games, and time to go the heck crazy.

Annnnnd that was the worst possible outcome from that round. I inadvertently idol'd out my closest ally. My game could potentially be over, this very well be my first ever double digit placement in the 9 orgs I have played, but if I'm going out then it's not before I do the only move I got left. I've shared all my information I have been sitting on about Owen/Kait and by extension Matt, how they are aligned with Thomas and Madison. All I can do is let the others make informed decisions on how they think this game can be played best for them. If they choose to let the power team continue to run it for them then that's their prerogative. It's all I have left. At the very least I didn't go home with an idol in my pocket and I didn't burn it without needing to use it.

So last night, I wanted to die after the votes became 0-0. Me and Timmy had a 1/3 shot of going home but we some how managed to get zero votes against us. I felt really bad about voting for Corey. He was someone i really liked and was working with but we got to different sides. Now ian has some interesting info that Owen and Kait are part of an alliance with Thomas & Madison and also had devon and corey. Idk which side they are most loyal to because they sided with us this time but they could easily flip to other side if they wanted to. I need to keep an eye on them thats for sure.  

---

What the hell, 11 idols in play!? Like this twist is crazy. I want and need to find my idol. There is no excuse. I really need it to make sure im here after tribal. Like idk care who its getting votes as long as im safe.

I have so many feelings on this immunity challenge. Mainly I'm pissed because I don't have an idol clue because I got second so technically I didn't bite Chips so he didn't get a clue for me which sucks because like people like me I guess so I'm pretty much punished for that. As a result it could be easy to vote for me since I have a disadvantage in finding my idol since I don't have the clue. I'm scared because of that since what I learned after last tribal is spicy (and i'll make another confessional about that tomorrow) so I don't even know what to do at tribal and I'm just hoping it's not me. But I didn't give Thomas his clue so hopefully that will help me since he won't know where to look either so that's an advantage for me because I have absolutely no reason to give him his clue, we don't talk. I'm not going to help someone else while subsequently actively hurting myself. At times I also want to try looking at spots for other people to try and get their idol so I know that they won't have it...but that's just a maybe.

---

I’m heated and I can’t even do much about it because of the nature of this round. Kait, Owen, and Matt think their sitting so pretty and I’m fucking sick of it. Here I thought I was doing well and hearing shit about them and now seeing it first hand is ridiculous. Owen is kind of slipping up with that trio and here’s why. Owen told me that kait and Matt found their idols, so I messaged both of them asking how their hunt is going. Kait hasn’t answered yet but Matt says “If I get up at 9am and guess every hour I’ll find it” because he’s “figured out the math”. Bitch i already know you have it and now you’re just lying to my face. Like we’re in an alliance together but I guess that doesn’t mean shit to you. I’m assuming Owen even probably has his idol and is lying to me. I feel so stuck because i can’t make a move this round due to the idols, but I’m probably going this round due to not having a fucking idol clue because of the bullshit this challenge was.

---

OH OH KAIT JUST ANSWERED “no luck lol I suck” WOWOWOW AND SHE HAD EVEN SAID SHE WOULD HELP ME FIND MINE. Fucking fake people i can’t stand them.

THIS WHOLE IDOL THING GOT ME CRACKT OUT MY MIND LMAOOOOOO HSKSHDJDJDHD FORST OF ALL!!!!!!! I hate that tommy gave immunity to chips and not Timmy. Why wouldn’t tommy pick someone more likely to give him his clue????? Ugh. SECOND OF ALL. Literally fuck madison and Maynor for giving Devon and Ian their clues. What the fuck were they actually thinking !?!?!?!? Everyone with a clue is gonna find their idol unless they’re stupid or someone else finds it first so like.... idk I genuinely don’t get it. I think Maynor just wasn’t thinking and madison was tryna be social with Devon idek. I’m mad about it and it makes me want madison outta here. Not Maynor tho bc he’s precious and I luv him. Third thing why does Devon think I’m going to believe any guess he sends me nnnnnnn like he sent me matt and Kait random coordaintes that apparently weren’t it. I replied to Devon being like ‘e9 is miss too hehe’ and then realized I shouldn’t tell him where I’m searching and panicked and sent ‘omg typo meant r9 oops!’ Hskshdjdjdh Fourth KAIT FOUND MT IDOL SHSHDHD AND THEN WOULDNT GIVE UT TO ME AND I ACCIDENTSLLTNPOSTED ABOUT IT IN THE TEIBE CHAG AND KEPT IT THERE FOR A MINUTE IM SO STUPID. Literally started crying after. I’m like I can’t velieve I did that but if only my roommate hadn’t woken me up singing I’d still be ASLEEO RN AND NOT FUCKING UP. Or if Kait had just Given ME!!!! Oh my god like I’m rlly embarrassed and if they didn’t know Kait and I were tight before they sure do now! Tommy and Timmy are the only ones without clues. It’s kinda fucked that chips didn’t get a clue for Timmy grrrr. I rlly don’t want either of them to go but if I gotta I guess it needs to be Thomas. But I can tell Kait wants thomasnto stay....

---

God I love when the dumb bitch disease flares up 

Having idol make me happy, but I’m probably gonna end up losing a number, that being either Thomas or Timmy. I can’t even figure out who I want to go out of those two and I hope maybe Ian doesn’t have his? It’s very strange trying to come down from the last vote without really having the chance to vote anyone besides who’s available.

Honestly this challenge probably could not have come at a better time, just about everyone has their idol so people feel more free to talk since we're all "safe" but if Timmy goes instead of Thomas my game could still be in trouble. The beauty of this round for me is that I planted the seeds about Owen/Kait/Madison/Thomas alliance before the challenge even began, then they played it out exactly how they would and Timmy at least took notice. Timmy has become woke, that's why I absolutely need him to stay, I can't say for sure if Chips is on the wavelength but Maynor seems to be since he shared my clue, albeit late, but he did. I could still end up tenth but if that alliance burns to the ground then I have done what I needed to in this game. I also talked things over with Mateo, we might work together down the line, we might not. At the very least I expressed why I felt we had beef at the beginning of merge and that I was willing to turn a new leaf with him. 

So this is a crazy round obviously. I really think the trio approach really helped but finding all those idols myself was crazy. Still don’t feel safe in this game for now, going to be a crazy night. 

I’m so stressed!!! Like I don’t want to go home on a twist round, that already happened in Virgin Islands, like been there done that already. I have Thomas’ idol so I know he doesn’t have it, thank god. People are saying their voting Thomas, but I have no reason to believe them bc they have been lying to me so much. I only trust maynor so if I see after the season that he was lying to me...I’m going to be hurt, like genuinely hurt for a while because he knows how much I trust him. These past 2 rounds have been taxing on my stability and I want to make a move but with the nature of this round, i can’t.

There were barely any vote talk this round. I found my idol and Im playing it on myself. Im trying to find Timmy’s we only have 2 more guesses. Thomas is the target this round which okay with me because he hasnt been talking to me all that much so dont think he’ll be a good ally moving forward. This round has been not chaptic like last round.

So this vote has a lot for me to cover. Last time, I was voted out alongside Corey. However, after a 3 1/2 hour endurance challenge, I fought my way back into the game with an idol and a legacy only the jury know about! Coming back into the game there was a challenge which chips won immunity. There was also a twist where everyone had to search the grid for their own idols where I found mine and will be immune at tonight’s vote. From what I know, Thomas does not have his idol therefore will be the person I am voting for and hopefully he goes home and I don’t get blindsided again

in a shocking turn of events...... i love tommy so much i'm so sad at the prospect of him leaving. 

Well I am very fucking pissed at the moment. Timmy wanted to keep the fucking idol clue away from me and I wasn't able to find a fucking idol. Now I am going to be going home because of it. I just got to get this off my chest, THIS SEASON HAS BEEN SHITTY! I love traditional Survivor gameplay and stuff like the warzone and the everyone gets an idol twist like Oprah gives everyone a car twist is unnecessary. Like what the fuck! I've been in several ORGs but, no offense to Alyssa, Johnny, and Monty, this has been the worse ORG I have been apart of. I was able to meet Kait, Maynor and Chloe but those were the only posituve things from this ORG aside from a few challenge ideas I got for my ORG. That is it. Peace y'all.

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 13: “I Feel Like It’s Time for a Classic Blindside” - Mitch

okay so mo went home and im sad because he is my SON and I LOVE HIM. On a game level, sepearating Jones/Mo was crucial, but Mo was a goat, and Julia and Mo going back to back is bad news.

It kind of limits my options moving forwards, since I know I can't go to the end with Jones/Mitch, and don't think I can go to the end with Jason. I thought Tom would be a goat for literally self voting twice, but Jones is selling him like some big threat?

Anywho that means F3 has to be Me/Caeleb/Benj, which honestly... is all good in my back, they are my two faves on the tribe, so I'm down to clown with that.

also me clocking that caeleb is matt who won kuwait's boyfriend, i truly am the second coming of nancy drew

okay so morning after last night's tribal. i don't regret any decisions i made, but i am a little concerned about the narrow path I now have to FTC.

I feel like I'm playing a good game, and a game better than those that I have played in the past. However, I'm also not delusional, and I know how big of a threat Jones/Mitch/Jason are at FTC, and while I don't think Tom should be a threat, apparently he is too.

What that means, is I have to angle for a F3 of Me, Caeleb and Benj. I think its do-able, but its going to be tricky.

The best way I see it happening is next vote, siding with Caeleb/Jones to vote off Jason, so that the two 'pairs' are attacked with equal force. Its definitely risky, since it means I'll be very vulnerable, but HOPEFULLY the following round I can swing it back and get Jones out.

That would then leave a F5 (which oh my GOD final five already got to SCREAM), of Me/Mitch/Caeleb/Tom/Benj. I think I would then unfortunately need to take out Mitch at F5, because he is scary scary, and I think would be such a deserving winner. That leaves a F4 of Me, Benj, Caeleb and Tom which I think is probably best case scenario, where I would vote off Tom most likely, leaving the F3 as me, Benj and Caeleb. If its a F2, I go to the end with Benj.

I think its definitely a work-able and do-able plan, its just important to get all the stages right. Thinking about it, it could be worth swapping Jason and Tom on the plan. I think Jason is more of a threat personally, but perception is reality, and if Jones is saying Tom is a threat, I can't be seen walking to the end with him.

So... I'm cautiously optimistic. I think I'm playing a strong game, I still have TWO idols, and am on track to keeping on pushing on.

If I'm voted off at seventh place, the order I would vote for the remaining players at FTC:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Caeleb > Benj > Tom

I knew that this could happen, and I was trying so hard to keep Mo around. I told Grandma's boys that we should vote Mitch, they said no. And then Benj let me know he was voting Mo, and since Ali and Mitch weren't responding to me anymore, I knew they were going to vote Mo instead. I told Jones to play her idol on Mo but she didn't do that either. Overall, I am sad. Because I let them tell me how I should play that round but I should've been confident in A) my gameplay and what I wanted to do, and B) my understanding of the roles in this game and who I felt was talking to who. If the last vote showed me anything it showed me that:

I have a pretty good understanding of who is running this game (Mitch and Benj)

Jones is playing a really good social game but she isn't ready to make big moves yet, or she doesn't understand which moves we should make.

Jones and I are in this together. We have to by default because I know about her idol, but also with pairs popping up everywhere its safer to have a voting buddy. Plus Jones is cool so like I could be stuck with someone I didn't like and for that I'm lucky.

Lastly, I need to be confident. I have played well, but I've lost momentum. I had it with the Alex vote, and it waned but I had it in the Jules vote. I was exposed and lost it in the Julia vote, and I was completely left out of the picture in the Mo vote. I need to regain this momentum. I know I like always make a fool of myself with my confessionals hehe because I always say I want something to happen but it never ends up happening. That's largely because so many people have their own agendas, dictating the vote is not my style. Being flexible as F*** for sure is. BUT, I will hopefully get my way next tribal. I am planning on using Jones, Me, Ali and Jason to vote Mitch. I am starting to sow the seeds in Jason and Ali, because Mitch has clearly played the best so far. He has ALWAYS voted right, and been the deciding vote for Jules, Alex, and Mo. Yet he also never was cursed. He'll win, and its my mission to vote him next. But don't keep me on my word because HELL knows things are gonna hit the fan anyways.

also i have to confess this because its funny and i will forget otherwise, but on the call before last tribal, i said tom is too straight for me to be able to work with him long term in my host chat, because he kept saying bro and chick.

LITERALLY, and I mean LITERALLY, 5 seconds later, he shows us this picture and asks us "how fake this chick's boobs are". I am NOT going to be a straight enabler, straight pride can WAIT, this is not gonna keep happening.

With that said, I wanna go F3 with Tom probably KSADF, or no maybe F4. I definitely know Jason, Mitch and Jones need to leave sooner rather than later, and I will then figure it out from there eeeek!

also LOVE MR CAELEB, LOVE him. BUT.

I would've had a 38 POINT WORD, if he didn't snatch that Z from me, he ROBBED me of quizzical, and now he can spell frazzled which ties my current best word. EEEEEK.

okay me making fun of tom for having a sheet when i have the same... love being a crackhead...

also me getting SO pressed about Caeleb winning immunity for 0.5 seconds, before realising I didn't want to vote him out anyway, and that him winning is like... fine.

I made this this morning:

I hate everyone KSKSKSKSKKS i want to just do something for myself so bad Bc I feel like such a follower and I wanna just die all the time but like ????? The last 12 times I try to plan moves it backfires so I just need like,,, to breathe a bit.idk??? I don’t even know if I want BENJ in the F2 with me like I said,,, anyways,,,

Best F3 scenario: me/Tom/benj

Best F2 scenario: me/literally one of those two men,,,, maybe preferably Tom? Like no offense to Tom but idt anytime on jury likes Tom rn JSJSJSJS but ya time to die and lose in immunity UwU

I WON IMMUNITY AHHH. It means I'm guaranteed a spot in the final six, and assuming I play my idols right, F5 and then F4. I'm potentially... one round from FTC, this is CRAZY.

This round is gonna be interesting, it needs to be one of Jones, Jason or Mitch for sure, I just need to angle it so that its definitely the right one. I am immune, and can use that safety to lead a vote... whatever happens i'm so EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

quasiconvexity carried me through

So the game has been going well! I wanted Mo to go at F9 cuz we just didn’t have as good of connection as I do with others but that got overshadowed by Julia blowing up but we made it happen this round me Mitch and Ali wow the votes actually fell 3-3-2 exactly like we planned.

Literally 4 votes in a row now the exposed people voted wrong LOL. Anyways next up to go is Jason, we have worked together well for a few votes but him and Tom are a duo who have to be broken up now that Mo/Jones are broken. Jason has more chance to win so its got to be him.

Jones covered my vote hehe so it should go as planned we hope but idk itll prob be ruined like stuff usually is. It should be me jones mitch caeleb voting him, tom and Jason will I guess vote jones or someone, ali can vote whoever it doesn’t matter

Me and Ali have realised the Sapphire idol is more of a curse than helpful LOL so hopefully we don’t ever have to use it. We have also decided that we want to go to F4 w Tom and Caeleb, I LOVE Jones and Mitch so much but they are the biggest threats. But I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone teams up against me and Ali and realise we have lowkey been shaping the course of the game since F11 hehe.

This is one of my favourite orgs ever and Ali is one of my favourite allies ever! Ali when u see this thank u for putting up w my being cracked and listening to all my scheming and plans u make this game sm fun so just thank u sm.

Everyone left in the game are also such good people ugh it sucks to have to vote them at some point :// The hosts went off w casting…

So ya moving forward me and Ali’s goal is to make F5 and have one of us win immunity and idol the other w Budva idol and not even use the Sapphire bc apparently if its like a 3-1-1 vote they are all immune which is too scary we cant cirie ourselves out!!

Gosh I sounded so cocky just then huh... I rlly am always looking out and worried about being blindsided aswell eeeek

I PROB WILL BE!

I just have so much hope for benjali duo ;-;

okay so this vote... it needs to be one of Jones, Mitch and Jason. I've heard from Benj that there is a plan to vote Jason, of Mitch/Benj/Jones/Caeleb, here is the problem tho... I'm down with Jason going, but if I hop on to this plan, I'm just an add on and its not a move I can claim at an FTC resume.

So, I have to plan an alternative, and its either gonna be Me/Jason/Tom/Caeleb vote Mitch, or Me/Jason/Tom/Mitch vote Jones. I am leaning towards voting Jones right now, because like... she just told me she has heard nothing for the vote, when I know she is plotting and has sorted a plan to get Jason out. She clearly doesn't trust me, we've voted separately at basically every single tribal and she is a mega threat in the end.

I think I could convince Mitch to vote her, and it also detaches Caeleb, and it means he is stuck with me, which is good, since I'll need him to vote Jason potentially next round. Its tough because I want all three of Mitch/Jason/Jones out asap... hnnngh.

So I have the opportunity to make a game changing move. Im almost certain I know who has the idol and i REALLY want the person out this round. Right now they are breezing by without being targeted a single time and I feel like its time for a classic blindside. The problem is, right now that specific person is not being targeted. The risk of telling the people who are being targeted that they are the target is astronomical but if it works it just might send the person who I want gone out. It's a risky plan that I don't know if it will work or not.

okay so I think I may have already confessed this, but loving having ZERO memory. Okay so Jones is going tonight, she is definitely a major threat, has access to jury votes I couldn't even dream of getting and is SUCH an FTC risk.

I think this vote works, because then... next round we can get Mitch. I can solidify something with Caeleb and Benj, and we can then agree to get Jason at F5, that's... such smooth sailing to FTC. I'm excited.

I love voting with Mitch/Jason for a vote, and then... voting against them in literally the two votes after, loving being a mess.

[bartsugsy]

Have you recovered from Thursday's episodes yet? I have mentally binned the one from Friday from my memory as best I can. I wish Sharon hadn't included the scene where Robert pulled Rebecca up off her chair, what the hell was that. Surely there was another way for her to trigger a reaction so that Chrissie could blurt out Rebecca was still pregnant ugh. Maxine is subtle in her script writing and then it feels like these other writers come along and bulldozer over everything

Hey anon!

I honestly didn’t mind Friday’s episode. Ok…

this became…. obscenely long…….

The pub reveal felt sort of clunky in a ‘suddenly everyone relevant is here at the pub to learn of this news!’ sort of way, but it’s a soap, so…. you know. It was like… CAR CRASH HORRIFYING AND AWKWARD TO WATCH AND I GET LIKE… SECOND HAND HORROR IS THAT A THING i just fuckdigndnf scream like it hits A LOT OF MY WEIRD SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT BUTTONS AND I CANT i’m literally rewatching now and cringing at robert and aaron having to both suddenly deal with this realisation in full view of a packed pub i’m !!!!!!!!!!

It feels like the point was to sort of… make Robert extra terrible to Rebecca (not hard, he’s usually pretty terrible to her these days lmao) and have Aaron find out about the baby all at once, so that it hits him like a slap in the face, that this isn’t going to be as easy as he thought it was when it was just him and Robert alone in a room together. It’s so often been so much easier for the two of them, when it’s just them in a room. 

The one thing that I wasn’t a fan of was Victoria’s non-reaction. Because. Really? idk why are these reveals never as juicy as I want them to be smh. Also I still don’t get Chrissie being so gung ho about the baby given it’s Robert’s and given her relationship with Rebecca and so I’m assuming it must be for a specific plotty reason (bc the state of the white sisters’ relationship is always reliant on what the plot needs) and I’m really wondering what that is??? i’m 100% suspicious. 

lawrence on the other hand was 110% #relateable

ALSO aaron’s reaction to finding out about the baby was as relateable as chas’ reaction to finding out about the Incident - i.e. i felt my soul laid bare on screen that day

Ryan and Danny were both amazing and that bathroom scene was a work of art and I will cherish it til I die like THEIR PERFORMANCES IN THAT SCENE??????? LITERALLY STUNNING?????????????????? OH MY GOD?????????????? WHEN YOU THINK RYAN AND DANNY CAN’T DO ANY BETTER THAN THURSDAY AND THEN THEY DO THAT??????? bye. also i’m literally both of them. it’s like me talking to myself about this storyline. we are all one.

anyway that scene was perfect and NEEDED for this episode and so i really can’t trash it all that much because damn

The Aaron and Rebecca scene is…. the funniest most absurd thing I’ve ever laid my own two eyes upon………. she just…. how…. does anyone think she has a leg to stand on?????

Ok. Here’s my thing. It is 1000% Rebecca’s right to have this baby if she wants. That’s fine. She’s gotta do what’s right for her. However, awful as Robert treats her and much as she now rightfully seems to hate him, she has to understand that this decision to have this baby affects Aaron’s life as well. She shouldn’t let her choice be influenced by that at all but, given that this is someone she professes to “like”, she… she slept with his husband and she’s having his baby. She took an active part in helping to destroy his marraige. Unintended consequence or not, that’s still the absolute reality of what happened and as much as, again, I don’t think she should change her mind or her stance on anything Robert related, I still think she should at least be able to recognise her part in Aaron’s pain? I just…. you would think she would be even slightly sympathetic to that? But that last scene sort of came off as her trying to make him see the light - “look how similar we are, we’re in the same boat, it’s us against him”. The show literally couldn’t make it clearer that Aaron and Rebecca don’t have the same relationships with Robert if they had Rob make a flipping shrine to Aaron in his basement next to a burning effegy of Rebecca at this point (….just look at this entire episode), but Rebecca thinks it’s the same thing. And yes, she seems to think she’s doing right by Aaron but.. idk, how fucking patronising can you be? How unsympathetic can you be? 

Again - I really do think the point was to really have Aaron question whether he can really forgive Robert and put that seed of doubt in his mind but

sigh

Rebecca.

Also idk if it’s because we know what Aaron’s agression looks like and it wasn’t that heartbroken yell at Rebecca, and Rebecca does not know what it looks like, but her cowering and making him feel bad about yelling at her…. like….

she slept with his husband??????????????????????????????????????

I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TREAT THIS AS A SHITTY THING TO DO BC IF MY MATE DID THAT TO ME I WOULD SURE AS HELL SHOUT AT THEM, PREGNANT OR NOT WHAT THE FUCK but as im a lesbian i doubt they’d be pregnant tbh but still WHY CAN’T HE YELL AT HER? SHE STILL ULTIMATELY CHOSE HER FEELINGS FOR ROBERT OVER WHATEVER VERY MINIMAL REGARD SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD FOR AARON’S (AARON HER FRIEND AARON WHO SHE LIKES) MARRIAGE and it’s….. it’s really annoying 

and rebecca acting like that shout is…. robert’s fault….. when….. even if aaron was acting agressive…. aaron’s agression issues go back far far before robert even came into the picture….. and robert isn’t responsible for the way aaron reacts to things much in the way aaron isn’t responsible for robert’s reactions we literally just had a massive double bill discussing these exact faults. like, it just hammers home how much she really doesn’t know him. 

and like. robert and rebecca were both there. they were both responsible and they both had relationships with aaron. robert has more to apologise for but that doesn’t mean rebecca should be treated like an innocent god damn petal (regardless of whether she genuinely belived rob and aaron had broken up four hours before they did it or whatever… i mean…….. honestly…………)

and potentially all just a way to make sure aaron doesn’t shout at her again? or just to foreshadow whatever the fuck is happening next week. who knows. 

Anyway.

What I’m saying is, I think the whole point of this episode was to show that Aaron and Robert’s problems aren’t magically fixed because they spent a day finally talking about their problems. Growing and changing has never been that easy - they’ve taken the first step and admitted to it, recognised their issues but… I think this is just a signal that they still have a lot of work to do and they aren’t going to be in a good place for a while. They’re both going to be trying to work through it for some time. Which is good. 

Like. That whole first scene, with them being cheerful but kind of awkward and stilted was just them trying to move past things a little - but this episode was a big neon sign that it’s never gonna be that easy. Long standing problems like theirs don’t just disappear.

ALSO ALSO final note on Maxine (and Sharon I guess, who wrote this ep - and I really wasn’t a massive fan of the writing because it did feel like a mess and it took me a few watches to sort of understand what was happening, but whatever) - because I just… I don’t think every episode that Maxine doesn’t write is doomed to be bad lmao. And I don’t think Friday trampled over them either. 

Personally, the reason I love Maxine like she was my own daughter is because she is the exact opposite of subtle. She doesn’t do subtle at all, she spells out everything in black and white and you don’t have to work for it - which I appreciate a lot, to be honest, because who wants to work this hard for a soap???? LOOK AT HOW LONG THIS POST IS???? WHY??? lmaoooo, maybe that’s just me. idk, i just appreciate her blunt approach to writing dialogue and her big love of parallels and callbacks bc it satisfies my inner theorist. plenty of other writers have their strengths when they write robron and plenty of other writers have written beautiful stuff for them, but i like that they give maxine the big stuff if only because i know that she’s gonna try and cram as much shit into there as possible lmaooooo. she makes the most of it.

and by that i mean…. i’m never really left thinking “am i reading too much into this or is this just an accident of the writing that i’m picking up on?” with maxine, like i do for a lot of other writers. like friday’s episode - am i meant to see the rebecca/aaron conversation as firm proof that rebecca doesn’t know aaron but has made a lot of judgements on him and assumes he has as little agency as she does when it comes to robert, based on her terrible terrible relationship with and treatment by robert? or is that just something that i can see from the episode, knowing the characters like i do, that was never intended to be there and won’t be a plot point. with rebecca, especially, it’s hard to know what we should be purposefully pick up on and what is just bad and sloppy writing by literally every single person involved. 

I just never feel like I have to write mountains of essays about character motivation and storytelling when Maxine is at the helm of an episode. 

i do think she’s one of the most consistent at writing them (though idk whether that’s because she gets the good episodes or it’s just her clear love for them as a couple that leads her to being extra careful with them, it might be very chicken and egg haha) and she handles episodes that could fall apart in some writers hands very very well (my main example for that is always the lachlan trial episode, which i just think should have been an utter trainwreck but ended up being one of my favourites. it’s just incredible to me that she made it work that well, during a time when robert is actively lying and the show itself was SO BAD ON ALL COUNTS???? her ep was like the turning point into ‘not horribleness’ again and i don’t know how she did it. the entire plot was ABSURD. she just made it work.)

(plus it seems like she writes loads of casual affection into episodes and that makes me happy)

idk. I guess I’m saying that there’s a reason I genuinely look forward to Maxine’s episodes, but also… all is not lost and i don’t think she’s the only one who is gonna save us here. we’ve got other people who will help us along the way lmao. 

(i’m getting serious de ja vu with this whole sentiment did i write this back in november as well or is that my brain playing tricks on me?)

[jennnn-kimmmm]

3:56

oops i never got around to writing my end of year post like i meant to. i feel like so much has happened over the past year and honestly i don’t rly remember too much of it. the first half of the year went by so fast, rly just building up to around may. it’s so weird thinking about where i was at the beginning of 2019 compared to where i am now. 

with school and teaching, i think that the experience i’ve gotten so far has been rly good and it’s made me have to reflect a lot on what i plan on doing with my life. honestly, i questioned my career choice, maybe too many times for my own comfort. it’s a rly, rly difficult and demanding job and i don’t think that a lot of ppl realize how hard teaching is. i think a lot of the time, it’s viewed as like glorified babysitting and not taken to seriously. but being thrown into the midst of everything and actually having control over my own classroom, it’s a lot. having to cater to every kid’s needs and making sure they’re able to be successful in their learning while maintaining control over the class as a whole is so overwhelming sometimes. the first time i subbed, i literally went home and cried. i’m rly gonna have to step it up on making sure i take care of my mental health bc it’s so easy to get sucked into feeling like i’m failing the kids. some days were rly tough but the good days always make it worth it and it was nice to see growth in the kids’ learning by the end of the semester. i also rly need to step it up with school. i kinda just floated by and did the bare minimum to get through the semester and no way is that gonna cut it, especially with my thesis. honestly not super invested and motivated with my thesis but i have to get it done. between my thesis, a full course load, studying for the rica, and student teaching almost all week, i’m gonna be exhausted, rip. just 5 more months though!

LMAO at my personal life this year omg. the first half of the year was whatever. i kind gave up on looking for a relationship and had pretty much convinced myself that it wasn’t something i needed atm bc it would just be a distraction that i didn’t need. i figured i could date around, not look for anything serious and be fine. idk why i thought that, considering how easily i get attached and when i got attached to kevin, it hit me like a ton of bricks. i honestly still can’t explain what it was about him and why him. he used to ask me all the time like why i fought so hard for him. i know there were a bunch of smaller reasons but i was just drawn to him for some reason. on our first date, it had been a while since i had felt that way about someone and once we started dating, i couldn’t get enough of him. there were so many red flags and it was so obvious that it was not gonna shape up to be a healthy relationship. i still have rly mixed feelings about the relationship. i hate that i overlooked so many things and let myself be weak and get dragged around in the relationship. i gave so many excused and was too willing to let him in even though i knew that he was just gonna hurt me again. yet i still have a soft spot for him and care about him as a friend. i know he still cares too. it’s so dumb but when i’m beta testing his app, i see the little details he throws into the UI design for me. i don’t know if he does it to be manipulative and try to and keep me on the hook, but when i see it, it melts my heart a little. i’m definitely over him in terms of ever wanting to get back with him. i know it would never be a good decision. with getting over that relationship, i think it’s more so being kind of sad that it didn’t work out. it’s probably for the best that it didn’t. we really weren’t healthy for each other and sometimes brought out the worst in each other. and i know majority of it wasn’t necessarily my fault, but i think part of me still feels like i failed him and that contributes to the whole relationship being kind of bittersweet. UGH and then there’s roger and our relationship which is a total 180 from kevin. it’s just so easy with roger. he treats me the way i deserve to be treated and he’s clear with his intentions and feelings. it’s a healthy relationship for me to be in. im happy and i feel good when i’m with him. i feel like my only hesitation with the relationship is that it’s gotten so serious so quickly. which isn’t a bad thing. i’ve always said that i date with a purpose. i think just realizing the actual reality of like holy shit this is the person i could end up with for forever is kinda scary. but in like a good way. i just want to make sure that i’m making the best decision for myself. and i feel like it’s kinda stupid to have to be stressing about that so early into a relationship but ever since he said i love you, i guess it’s just been a little overwhelming. idk how to explain it. it’s like overwhelming in the sense that i just need a second to breathe, but just a second. i want so badly to be able to return his feelings but i’m also hesitant, just bc i feel like i’ve been burned in the past, so i’m less in a hurry to jump right in with my emotions. i need to stop concentrating on what’s happened in my past and assuming that the same thing will happen again. it’s just rly scary. i know he means it when he says it. like in my brain, i know it. but im also scared that if i let him in too far, he’ll end up breaking me like the last two did. i’ve also never been in this position in a relationship before, where i’m the one lagging with my emotions so i also just kinda feel like i’m lowkey disappointing him but i know that’s stupid. i think my goal with this relationship is to just go at my own pace and let things play out. i just need time. 

man this got long. tl;dr school and teaching are just chugging along as expected. relationships are hard. i need to trust myself more. 2020 be good to me pls.

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #8: "The fajitas are truly guiding me" - Matt

OMG i made it to the merge. Im so happy but now let the game begin.

im so sad. dennis was such a king. and to be taken out by nick... like idek what to do with this merge. ppl i want to work with: nathan, maynor, brian, anna?, matt? idek if i wanna work with brian its just i like meeting new ppl NNN i wanna work with sharky too. but like nathan loves nick apparently. like... no ty!!! nicole... keaton? no ty! my preferred boot order is just keaton. nick. nicole. thats it idc!!! i dont wanna work with like og absolem tho bc theyre all tight without me but the other options arent good either EFKJDSAHKJ. i am waiting for redemption island twist pls and ty although my luck jaydne comes back NNn well these are initial thoughts woohoo

PHEWWWWWW I MADE MERGE BITCHES!!!!!! Honestly that tribal was so fucking cracked and all kicked off in 20 mins at the end with nick revealing he had an idol. and YEET i was so close to playing my idol as well. The fajitas are truly guiding me (even tho i am eating them tomorrow for lunch and I am very excited hehehe) Brian, myself and sharky are gonna align (tho not telling about the idol tho) so woooo lets go merge!

I hate my life. a forced self vote? no thanks. UGH TIME TO DIE!

WE FUCKING MERGED! And I got rid of Dennis. Which I do feel slightly bad about it but it was time to make a move. I playing loose this season and I'm going to see how far it takes me. I have alliances with Maynor, Brian, Nathan, Annabelle, Matt, Nick, and sort of Nicole so that puts me in a pretty good spot as long as I don't overplay and show my cards too soon. I've got to walk the line very carefully. And ngl careful is not my strong suit.

Ok now Let's rank my mergemates. 1) Brian- husband. 2) Matt- second husband. 3) Maynor- best man at my double wedding to Matt and Brian. 4) Annabelle- my fave underrated queen. 5) Nathan- I love him but check back in a few rounds ok. 6) Bryce- we barely talked but he loves Chi Chi Devayne so...I love him. 7) Nicole- ...every season needs a purple edit 8) Nick- cool kid but I'm sooo bitter about wanting him gone 3 tribals in a row 9) Keaton- who?

Well, merge is finally here and i get to reunite with Sharky. Which is great because he was my duo from the begining and now i have Keaton as my other duo.i also have Bryce as well. Nathan wants to work with keaton and I so thats good and i believe he’s tight with Annabelle so shell come along as well. Thats already 5 with me is 6. As long as none of them are targeted first vote and others are. Ill be sitting in a good spot. From here the first vote, i wouldnt mind voting out Nicole. Only one to yet to talk to me besides saying hi.

WEELLLLL!!! I merged, ladies (and lads)!  I cannot believe it, but I have made it!!  I think I know what my strong points are right now in my game and I just have to keep playing on them.  I'm a lot stronger socially now and I want that to continue going into the merge.  I have allies in every single little aspect of this game, and I want to ensure the people I'm not working with go first.  So less than half of these hoes better watch their backs!

Now that I've merged and have freedom with who I want to work with, I'm definitely going to try and solidify my quad-some with Sharky, Nathan, and Annabelle as a final 4 alliance and also make sure that my other final alliances (one with Bryce, who I just met up with, and then one with Matt) also are stronger than ever before.

I usually do like cast run-downs and... idk... I haven't yet in this game, but I guess I will now going into the merge!!

Annabelle - A queent!!  I absolutely love her and wish that a trio of Ariana stans (with Marie) could've gone through!!  I can't wait to strengthen my bond with her and for us to slay this game together! Bryce - I may have just met Bryce in game, but I've known him for a little bit!  We have never really had a full-on conversation, but we have talked in passing and in some League games.  I've talked to him for like... 30 minutes so far... and he's already a top person in this game for me.  Love him! Keaton - idk him, but he's already trash talked Marie to me... so .... bye ! Matt - I adore him... he's... an angel!  I see myself working with him for a long time in this game, and I have to hope he feels the same hehe... Maynor - eh!  I like him, but we don't.... click... so if he goes home... he goes home... :S... Nathan - LOVE HIM!  He's so funny and so nice and he says we have a final 2, but girl... if we get to final 2 together it's by sheer luck because I shoreeee as hell know he's going hard or going home.... and I'm not playing that same balls to the walls type of game! Nick - LOL OK??? Idols replace social play and gameplay ig!!! Nicole - I just wish she was more active because I'd love to really put all my trust in her, but I don't really ever talk to her! Sharky - ANGEELLLL!!! Das my game hubby... I adore him so much... I really thought I was going to go into this game wanting to fuck him up with a lawn mower, but here I am putting all my eggs into his basket and trusting him completely... I hope I'm making the right decision!  I know he's a big threat, but I just lahva him a lot! Ugh..

This challenge is very interesting. Im just hoping that I somehow get enough points to get the high amount. Immunity would be great. Still working out who i could work with and who i would target. I know for sure that im going to be with Keaton and Sharky. Still dont know about the others yet.

I do not want this immunity. There's like weird touchy subjects vibes. If I win it means a lot of people wanted me to get immunity so I'm well liked which will translate to "Threat". I told the jock destroyers to give me negative items. So hopefully if my other allies give me positive scores it will even out to a smooth 0 and I can stay relatively under the radar.

So I went idol hunting and I got closer than I had ever gotten before. I could just tell. So I gave Brian the info and told him where I went wrong. And he didn't find the idol but he DID find a steal a vote advantage! So Brian and I are getting a nice little tool belt around our waists. Now we just need to get all these people to do what we want.

Everyone is being really quiet. But thats okay because this gives Maynor and I a great opportunity to strategize. To my surprise he threw out Nicole's name! Which is great. It might be too soon to go for her because I've been talking Dinah strong for a few rounds now (even though I voted Dennis out). But it's still good to know that she's on his radar. Now the goal is just to set up a F5 alliance that Brian and I can ride to F6. Maynor and I still have The Scream Team alliance and I'm loyal to that. So if I can move forward with Maynor and Brian then I can just fill in the others as we go.

Okay SWIFT UPDATE. Maynor brought up Matt's name and I was basically like "Um...I don't want to do that" and then discovered that he doesn't think Nicole has his back at all. Which would undermine any Dinah strong stuff. And I'm not going to stick my neck out to save her over a vote on my side for a few more rounds. Especially if she might flip anyway. Hmm…

Now I'm getting a chance to talk game with Anna! This night is really picking up. Unfortunately she seems to have some animosity towards Matt. Why does everyone hate Matt? I think he's bloody awesome! Oh well. She also isn't a fan of Nicole or Keaton so I can direct her target that way for a few votes and for now we seem to be on the same page minus the Matt thing.

Sharky and I are still up at midnight. We came up with a tribal vote plan which is awesome. The target tonight is going to be Nicole. I feel like shes a threat and needs to go. Sharky and I created an ideal final 5 which is me, Sharky, Brian, Matt, amd Bryce. My side alliance is Keaton and Nathan. On the outs is Nick, Annabelle, and Nicole. We are saying that Keaton said Nicole’s name and that Nicole said Keaton’s name. But main targetbis Nicole. Hopefully this plan works and Nicole goes tonight.

Things are falling into place baby! So Maynor wants Nicole/Keaton/Matt out. He thinks he can get Bryce on board. Annabelle also wants Nicole/Keaton/Matt out. I know from The Jock Destroyers Alliance that she (and I) have Nathan's vote. Anna also says she wants to work with Bryce. And Bryce told her that he feels close to Maynor. (I'm realizing Bryce is a HUGE social threat and I'm not going to be able to keep him around for too long but for now he's a number on my side.) Now, both Maynor and Annabelle also love Brian. They both also know I can bring Nick to the table because Nick trusts me. So right now I perfectly situated in the middle of a 7 person voting block. Am I a mastermind?

CLASSIC ANNABELLE. I set up this whole majority situation and told her to choose Keaton or Nicole and we can make it happen. BUT SHE WON'T CHOOSE. I love her but she always does this. She's so about being quiet that she refuses to ever make a move. Last time we played together she said I was a bully and never asked her what she wanted. Now I'm trying to be a better ally and listen to her moves AND SHE WON'T MAKE ANY. So frustrating.

Having Keatons name out was good cuz now he wants to target Nicole because she is the other name thats been thrown out. My alliance of mkn is helping get the votes for Nicole which is great.

so the names thrown out are keaton or nicole and its looking like nicole is gonna go bc ppl think shes a better player bc she gets far in tumblr games which like i guess is tea but its just sad that meta has a factor :( esp when shes like irrel in this game noah fence KJFADSHKFJAS. and like maynor prob has f2 with keaton.. but idc i guess she ghosts me all the time so w/e. im just hoping next round we can get like someone whos actually a threat out.

I WON IMMUNITY which means I made single digits!  I'm so happy with myself... I didn't really do much to deserve it, but I'm so happy I won because it means I can be a little more ballsy this round with throwing out names and whatever!

I'm thinking of voting Keaton out as a sort of revenge for Marie, but Nicole's name is out there, too, and I just really want to make the right move to launch my game into the next round in an even better spot!  I feel like the top of the world right now, and I want to keep that high.  The immunity challenge showed that even though I think I'm a fucking mess, I'm doing well enough socially.

As for that, I want to quickly add in that I love all my allies so much.  Sharky just helped me find a vote steal power which will be so useful for the long run of this game, and I cannot wait to use it to hopefully slay.  Nathan and Annabelle are angels and are also really nice for me to bounce ideas off of.  Bryce is just amazing to talk to and I really see him in my longterm plan.  Matt's another person I see in my longterm plan.  Ideally, this is probably my top 6... and I've since grown closer to Nick and we are working together "for the sake of Sharky", but I think he's more-so a side piece for me in this game!

So....I’m pretty certain I’m leaving because nobody wants to talk of anything of substance with me. It’s hard because I know I deserve to go, I haven’t been in a place mentally to give everything I need to, to this game. But that doesn’t mean I want to leave. It’s just hard, Dennis was my number one ally and now that he is gone it’s gonna be hard to reform my trust and alliances with everyone. Oof. It’s alright. Hoping that someone can use me as a vote about now but, don’t think that’s a possibility.

So I am keeping VERY quiet about my disadvantage, as I don't want anyone to know about it and jump on a bandwagon to use it against me! Like no thanks I'll pass. It looks like it'll either be Keaton or Nicole, would much rather it be Anna but she's immune smh. As long as my name ain't mentioned I'll be Gucci I hope. REEEE

Now that everyone is awake it's time to put in some work to execute the plan Anna/Maynor/myself made last night. We need to get everyone on board with voting Nicole. But I also need to make sure Nicole feels safe just in case she has an idol. I'm going to talk to Matt and Nick. As long as they vote Nicole we should be solid. I'm also going to start an alliance chat with the OG Dinah members so that we can talk about strategy and make sure Nicole feels safe with us. Then as long as everyone is telling the truth (cause no one ever lies in Survivor) it'll all be good.

Can i say that Sharky making a fake alliance chat with Nicole when we are planning on voting her out is very cold blooded. Like honesty doing it to try and throw off her scent of the vote is perfect.

I’m so glad sharky seems to be much more transparent with me. I’m really excited to see how this goes tbh I feel like we’d make a good pair. We be played together before and I thought he would be made at me for like wanting him out in canadienne but yeah I’m excited for merge!

Okay the alliances just keep piling up. It's definitely going to cause an issue later on. But for now it's good. And the newest one, The FB Bois, is one I actually do plan on staying loyal too. I really trust Matt and Brian. I like them both a lot and I want to work with them. Hopefully they feel the same. F4 with Brian, Matt, Maynor is my goal.

We are coming close to tribal. Its nerve wracking cuz it looks like nicole hasnt scrambled so she might have an idol. Im going to see if my side alliance would vote for Matt (keaton and nathan). Just in case there is an idol played. But as far it looks like Nicole is going.

For once my name hasnt been a top priority! its crazy... I really dont know what to do about it but im loving it so much... lets just wait though until I get out in about 30 mins...

Nicole is voted out 6-3-1.

[survivormuxloe]

Episode 15: “i didnt control this game 4 a goat to win” - Scott

So the reward challenge has been revealed. A little bit nervous tbh. However I do have a plan, I’d probably call Danielle. Because I feel she would have the best read on how the jury is feeling. She has sat there for the longest time. So her views are most likely the views of most people. So having her knowledge of the jury will be useful. First I have to win this challenge which I think I’m capable of winning, so fingers crossed I can win this.

THE CAT IS FINALLY OUT OF THE BAG HOLYYY LMAAAOOAO

i finally got to play it.. it didnt do anything. but. it secured me f4 just incase anything did happen!! LAMJFNFHBG. ugh. i love it tho... everyone takes me to the end i think which makes me lowkey queef LMAOAOAOOA :):)

hope yall r proud of meeeee :flushed:

I MADE FINAL 4. I’m so shocked and happy with myself. I broke my personal placement record and it’s so exciting. Unfortunately though I get to move past a milestone at the expense of losing a close ally. I got past eighth but Jones got eliminated. I get past my record but then Tobi gets idoled out. I’m so depressed but it just makes me want to win for them. I’m hearing that it’s a final 2 but it isn’t confirmed. So now I’m thinking who do I want to be sitting in a final 2 with. None of them honestly, they’ve all played great games. But I especially don’t want to sit next to Ryan. He’s done so well in this game and he made a succesful idol play. It would look like if a genius hacker were to sit next to an enthusiastic toddler.

It sucks cus nobody’s said anything since the vote and I really wanna talk to someone because bitch I’m in the top 4 let’s celebrate. I see Tobi online and its like fuCK I CANT CELEBRATE WITH HIM EITHER CUS HES GONE NOW.

its so hard telling eveeryone that im winning

we have a reward challenge on day 36 so i think that means we have a final 3 yayyyy whew. and the reward is the power call w one juror for 10 mins... which makes me kinda anxious ngl so i'm not even sure if i want to win this... but the challenge is Casanova and that is like one the flash games i'm really good at if i need to be so hmmm I'm wondering if i should beast it or not. i think winning it and having the courage to talk to one of them could be a big boost to my game so like... i'm thinking maybe i should just nut up and go for it hm

So I won reward fuck yeah.

This will give me the chance too see how the jury is thinking at the moment.

But with this immunity I am fuckin scared. Cards being stacked into tower formation. Honestly fuck that. I’ve been practicing and am getting there but I need to do this to make sure I have a chance of winning.

it feels so weird bc theres so little to say in confessionals now LOL!

uhm. just hopin for mo not to win ig. :)

So just had a call win Dani. Apparently I have close to 0% chance at winning. Which tbh I’m surprised about. Mo has the best chance? Idk like I want to believe her but it sounds fishy. I just need to feel out and go with Dani it trust my gut.

Rhys won his third immunity which is intimidating but then again he was only participating against me. Reminder I was trying to set up a card house with a tremor, due to my meds my hands shake. BUT I refused to give up and I’m still proud of myself because I know I did the best that I could.

I think this might be the round I’m eliminated. I hope not but apparently Rhys used his Jury call on Dani and Dani said he had the lowest chance of winning and I had the highest chance. Which first of all, REALLY???? ME???? Like thank you but, what? Second of all I need to play very passive right now in hopes that Rhys will stick with his original plan of voting Scott. Tomorrow it’s going to be me or Scott.

i feel bad for abstaining in the final 4 immunity but hnnng i really cant fux with these live challenges so rip. i feel like there's a good chance the jury looks down on my game bc this is like the 3rd challenge i've sat out of hnnng. but i'm glad Rhys won instead of Mo woo for that. it's seeming like it's gonna be a final 2 after all so womp. according to Mo, Rhys says he's voting for either him or Scott so ig I'm sitting in a good spot... although is it bad i was hoping to get another vote to rack up more than 11 overall? lol whatever so yay. i don't have high hopes of winning this game but regardless i'm happy i was able to survive all this time especially w my bae scott <3

Ok so I have a lot of hope right now. I’ll share the messages I sent Rhys because they’ll explain why I’m hopeful. “I just got some info This vote is either going to end in a fire making challenge between Scott and I or with me going home Cus Ryan just said him and Scott have had a tight Final 2 since the beginning so he can’t vote Scott (If you don’t believe me I’m sure he’ll tell you himself if you ask) So I respect your decision of voting for me if you do but I’d be insanely grateful if I was given the opportunity of a fire making challenge I see it like this. If I get to stay, then it’s us two vs Ryan or Scott because I think both Ryan and Scott have played insanely good games So we would have a higher chance of winning immunity But if it’s Scott, Ryan and you in the final three then it’s 1/3 odds. Where as if I stayed it would be 2/3 and if I somehow miraculously won individual immunity I’d take you to the end. It would be the smartest decision for me after hearing what Dani said But then if you win you can take Ryan with you to the end and I’ll end up 3rd Since Ryan and Scott have their final 2 thing” and Rhys agreed to it so tomorrow is going to be a firemaking challenge between me and Scott.

rhys is actually driving me fucking crazy lol... like. its right to vote me out yes. but his reasoning is so FUCKING DUMB. HE GENIUNELY HAS CONVINCED HIMSELF THAT THE JUROR HE CHOSE TO TALK TO LIED TO HIM. LIKE. RLY BITCH? im not getting 4th off of the back of ur fucking goaty ass losing to mo @ ftc ew lmao..

actually ya im not done like rhys is geniunely losing against anyone left for good reason hes been a goat this entire game and thats the entire fucking tea LAMJFBHFG.

i just dont want mo to win... imagine someone who voted wrong like 7/9 times in merge winning. fucking ew. if i leave ryan better win ftc bc hes the only good winner left if i leave like fr. i didnt control this game 4 a goat to win.. LAMNFNFG just ew ew ew ew ew ew..

im not going down tho america... ill pull every trick out of the bag if i have to. if i gotta lie to get a 2-1-1 vote i will. i aint bothered. id rather get 3rd knowing i was gunna win than fucking 4th. i aint knife!!

So like i Won immunity again which is insane. 3rd immunity.

I’ve been thinking about my call with Dani. I realised that if she telling the truth I have no chance. So might as well assume she is lying and have a chance. So I’m being optimistic.

So taking Scott out is my best choice right now. He may have bad jury management but he had played the best game. So I’m voting with Mo against Scott. Realistically Scott is probably going to win. But that gives me a possible vote on the jury.

I told scott that I’m Voting him as there isn’t any point in lying but he is working to stay. But like he needs to go. I can’t fuck up and have him win immunity. So yeah my game could be a shit show it could be nothing I don’t know. Wish me luck I guess.

I’m like legit so sad rn. I know I’ve had literally no chance at winning this game. So I’ve been optimistic trying to take the best road. Which in my mind is voting Scott out. I told him because he like legit my best friend I’ve made in this game and In a lot of games recently.

Now he hates me and has been really aggressive with trying to get me to stay.  Like I’ve told him my reasoning and he just still thinks I’m being stupid. Like yeah I just hate this. Can’t wait for tribal for him to attack me more.

Rhys gettin a lil brave this round after being asleep the whole merge omg. Whatever he heard from Danielle has seriously gone to his head and he's now considering going to the end with Mo ???? i have to laugh... i dont think him tying the vote and making me or Scott firemake is a terrible idea at all, but honey pls dont make me have to vote Mo to win this game flkadsas. It will be such a travesty if Scott and I go out 4th and 3rd god i dont even wanna think about that

god I really didn't expect this jury reward thing to have an actual impact on things??? ugh lol. Rhys a mess PERIODTTTTTT

After a 2-2 vote resulting in a firemaking challenge, Mo loses and gets 4th place.

[survivorpanem]

EPISODE TWELVE - “I CAN’T COMPENSATE FOR STUPID PEOPLE“ - JAKE

Okay, oh my god. Oh my god. I cannot believe I just survived that vote I'm so glad omfg. I flipped someone who flipped on me I'm SCREAMIng. Idk what you call that but I call it ICONIC. I pulled out ALLLL the receipts to Sam trying to show her why she couldn't trust Isaac and Andrew and why I was the best person to keep. Truthfully, I don't know who would've been her best option to keep, but I needed her to think it was me. So yeah, that was successful, tru. I couldn't flip Isaac like I wanted to, but idk I mean it's probably better that way because it gives me a reason to vote for him and for him to vote for me if I make it to the end. So like I think I have a plan to make it to at least f4. I'm playing my idol this week. Sorry but the blind week is just not working for me, sorry not sorry! I'm gonna use my vote negator on Isaac, and have Sam use her extra vote on Isaac, and have Sam and I vote Isaac. Then have Zack and Sam B vote jakey. That way the vote will be split 3-2-1. If Isaac plays an idol then Jakey goes. If he doesn't have an idol boom he's gone. And I'd tell Isaac I'm voting jakey and Jakey I'm voting Isaac that way at the end of the vote, either way it falls I could tell them I told the truth lmao. I'm playing my idol because in the long run I can't really trust anyone completely like I did that round, I mean Sam flipped when I never expected her to. So like if Isaac plays an idol on himself or wins immunity and Sam and I vote him and like Sam B flips on us and votes with like jakey to take out me the vote would be 2-1 and I'd go home! And a bad, disgusting, but possible even if unlikely scenario would be if Isaac/Jakey won immunity and the other played an idol on themselves. Or who knows they could have stuff from the cornucopia???? Okay so then, at f5 it'd hopefully be Zack, the Sam's, Jakey and myself. I truly do not think Jakey has an idol, I'd be shook if he did when like he was barely online. So like my plan would be for all of us to simply just vote Jakey. That brings me to f4, where I could at least hopefully go to firemaking, but I believe everyone in this f6 is better than me at comps, except maybe Isaac? But I think Isaac needs to go next for sure. Ugh. But yeah I mean that always leaves a possibility for people to vote me out at f5, and there's always the possibility of an idol... I'm gonna try to think about the likelihood of people voting me during this blind round, with all the risks involved. But I think it's a huge risk in itself to not just be safe and play the idol on myself, especially after the heart attack I got from this last tribal. SPEAKING OF THE FUCKING HEART ATTACK ZACKS FUCKING ASSHOLE SELF GAVE ME A PANIC ATTACK!!! He messages me right when tribal council is starting and is like "I'm so sorry" BITCH?? I was like omg what did you vote me and he's like yes I'm sorry but Andrew gave me a better offer you're more of a threat I'm so sorry I didn't wanna tell you on call (Sam B and I had added him to our call after I convinced her to reflip). And I freaked tf out! I was like wtf omg I couldn't even type my hands were S H A K I N G and I couldn't breathe and my heart beat so fast yo it was so bad like omg how fuckin lame is that how gross! And like I couldn't even curse him out in the main chat properly LMAO. Like I'm dyin Zack is so annoying omg lmfaooo oooh he had me fucked up! I think the best person to sit next to come f2 (I'm basically just certain it's gonna be a f2 now which is so ugly bc it decreases my chances so much) would be Sam B just because of how she flip flopped on this vote. Like she was a way bigger threat before the vote but now idk. I feel like Andrew and Isaac would be scorned jurors but eh who knows ugh. I hope the upcoming immunity challenges will be luckier for me despite zacks wild ass comp abilities omg. Ugh I just hope all their threatening competition winning asses take me to the end ugh. But I am glad that I'm at this point in the game with a cast that I love..and zack. JK ZACK ILY HNG. But yeah

Okay I'm pretty sure tribal is in an hour and nobody has talked to me at all. Guess I'm leaving tonight. That's what I get for being a flop ass bitch and flipping and then flipping again on the revote. It's been fun panem.

welp... i guess isaac is stupid as fuck? lksjdgdlfkjh srsly WHO are my ALLIES... HELP!!!! these ppl suck god even worse than i do. so my plan for this round is get sam b and isaac BACK TOGETHER god... and then flip zack to vote out sam g... which i kinda set up last round when i told zack that i'd vote with isaac to get his trust. im still playing zack and i dont wanna go to the end with him but i dont wanna go to the end with sam g or jc either so like... an ideal f3 would be me sam b and isaac. lmao. everyone sucks idk why sam b voted andrew out like god these people are stupid. idk i dont think ill win immunity since its like luck. but christine goddess got me an immunity advantage so thats nicee. im not telling anyone about that shit! it's a blind round which is fun!!!

Okay so I have a little idea brewing in my witch pot brain....what if I go around this week "confiding" in people that I have the idol. Like, I'll start with Sam G and then move to Zack and maybe tell Sam B and maybe even Isaac. I want to tell them because I'm going to be playing my idol this round almost without question...but since it's a blind week none of them will know that I'm playing it! Then come f5 hopefully the remaining people are Zack, the Sam's and Jakey, and all of them would still think I have an idol that I'd most likely be playing on myself, which means none of them would flip on me. As for jakey, I wouldn't tell him I have the idol but hopefully Isaac would've told him after I told Isaac which would make things even more believable if it's coming from another source, so jakey might not even vote me. Idk I think that no matter what people are going to vote me anyway, so there's no harm in adding a possible larger target on my back with this idol if it also has the possibility of protecting me. Not only that but if I confide in people, who knows they might have an idol and confide in me too! Also, I'm going to tell Isaac his best chances of survival would be to vote Jakey. Because if I negate his or jakeys vote and we split it 3-2 that means if Isaac has a vote, he could vote jakey and tie it 3-3. Or, he could be dumb and throw his vote away to someone else. And who knows, on the revote we might keep Isaac, if he stayed loyal maybe it'd be smart to keep him especially because he's not as good at competitions unlike jakey, and it relieves the threat of such a goat (baa) like Jakey. But at the same time he's very good with his words and shit so at f5 he might be able to conjure up some magic to cause drama and flip a vote idk. But I could always keep on persisting saying if Isaac does make it to FTC he deserves to win because we let him make it there when we had majority. This is gonna be an INTERESTING week, know that!

Later...

Okay so I've been strategizing and thinking, and like that whole idea of revealing I had the idol and whatnot and like I don't think it's worth it seeing as it gets revealed that an idol gets played...but idk maybe it's worth it? I don't knowwww. I could always tell them I'm playing the idol tonight, discourage them from flipping on me, but then they'd be like tf why you playing an idol? I might just be a crazy bitch and risk not playing my idol again LMFAO. That'd be so wild. But I think if someone else plays an idol I most definitely would. Yo I wish I had a map of the arena for every bitch left in the arena because after last round I learned you can't trust no bitch! Ugh but like I feel like things will be so much easier if I can just wait til next week to play my idol, what are the chances bitches are gonna flip on me again /right/ after flipping on me last week. Like you'd think they'd have the courtesy to at least wait til the next round, right?? Right????? Probably not. This is allstars after all. Ugh. I need to think of who I want to play my map of the arena on, like who would be the smartest person??? These are the pressing questions.

Later...

Sam G has a map of the arena? INTERESTING. Immediate reaction I'm so happy because this is going to clear up soooo much paranoia. But I am a bit confused because I thought that only one map could be purchased per round, so it wouldn't make sense that she got a map this round because I have the map this round!!! Omfg now Sam B approached me about voting out Sam G, I'm SCREECHING. Like the level of shook I am rn is 10/10. I think it'd probably be smart to take out Sam G since I might be seen as her sidekick or something, but I don't think it'd be smart to do it this round. And not only that but if I did make it to f2 with Sam I feel like I could showcase how I wasn't just second in command but made moves and decisions that she didn't necessarily want like the a Brian and Liana votes. And I got the idol from her clue. Yeah I do think this round it's smartest to vote out jakey, then next round could be either of the Sam's or Isaac. If I can keep my idol until next round like its seeming possible to, then I don't even necessarily have to worry about who comes into f4. Except I do have to worry in that I don't want my ass heading into a firemaking challenge!! I've said it before and I'll say it again, everyone else left in the game is a bigger challenge threat than I am so like?? Fuck. But I think if Sam G comes in to f4 with me they'd be more likely to vote her out over me which is better for me hng. Let's say jakey does leave this round (fingers crossed bih), then  who would I want with me in the f4? I feel like my best case scenario would be the Sam's and Zack, because the Sam's may vote each other and Zack may vote with me hopefully. If Sam G goes home this week, that'd leave an opening for either Sam or Zack to flip with Isaac and jakey, and even though I'd have my idol to protect myself for f5 and take one of them out, I'd still have to worry about f4 and fighting another in a fire making challenge. Idk this is all totally assuming Zack wins like every single immunity too like I'm expecting him to. LIKE ZACK IS AN IMMUNITY QUEEN, GODDDD. But nah damn my girl Sam B is trying real hard to put a move on her jury resume. She's really worried about getting second place again, and I feel her, I don't wanna be last juror again, and I especially don't want to lose this season after everything, so I get her dilemma. But I have to do what's the very best for my game, and I think that's voting out jakey. THATS JUST MY OPINIONNNN (insert that's just my opinion gif). But yeah I gotta keep my eye on Sam B 👀

Whew I almost forgot to do a confessional because I had the sappiest dumb confessional ever but I decided not to send it and thought I did. So anyways here's my confessional... I can't believe it tied because Isaac couldn't make up his mind. I feel really bad about Andrew but the more I think about it the more I shouldn't care. He never really talked to me at all about this game until his ass was on the line and then when I tried to help him he still threw his vote to me when it could have gone to someone else in case Jaiden played an idol. So this vote is the last vote to play anything I'm pretty sure so IF THERE IS AN IDOL it'll probably be played tonight. I'm playing my extra vote and my second map of the arena (I love my sponsors honestly <3) and Jaiden is playing his vote negator. If the two of us vote together the worst thing that'll happen is that we tie and have to vote again. Hopefully everyone's telling the truth but I don't know this whole merge has just felt too easy. I know there have been a few snags but I don't know something about getting here has felt too easy and I'm too calm so I feel like I'm about to get blindsided tonight. I really wanna make it past tonight though because then I'll beat my Atlantis placement!!

I am soooo torn. Once again. Okay so I am in a 4 person alliance with Jc, Zack, and Sam G. On the other side, I have a final 2 with both Jakey and Isaac. I want Sam G out. But nobody on her side wants to go after her. And there are no numbers without them. That alliance wants to split the vote tonight with 2 on Jakey and 2 on Isaac. What they don't know is that Jakey is playing his idol so his votes will be cancelled. Isaac and Jakey are voting out Sam G, but Jc is using his vote negator on Isaac so it'll just be 1 vote for her. So left we have 3 votes: mine, jakey's and jc's (because jc is voting isaac and zack and sam g are voting jakey which will be cancelled with his idol). Confusing, I know. So Jc and I are supposed to vote out Isaac, and Jakey is voting for Sam G. However I have the opportunity to flip (again) and vote out Sam G. This is what I want. But I am sooo worried about Jc and Zack finding out. Idk how the blind tribal will go, if they will announce that Jc is cancelling a vote or if Jakey is playing an idol. I feel a lot more stress than I did the last blind tribal, that allowed my target to leave and let me keep playing the middle. But this one is definitely going to hurt that. My dream scenario would be Sam G leaving and nobody knowing I flipped and then I have the option to choose between Jc and Zack or Isaac and Jakey. I am praying for this next immunity. If I don't leave tonight (you never know in games like this). I wish I had an idol, or even better a super idol. But I'm just trying to really rely on my social game and my gut at this point. I hope it all works out. And I'm also worried about a vote sneak of my vote just because I did flip last week so I seem untrustworthy, which is why I am going to wait until 3 minutes before votes are due to submit, just so nobody has time to switch their votes to me, if they haven't already done so. Yikes I am nervous whew.

stupid #1 - isaac do i even have to explain like Why did he vote for sam b when she was literally flipping to us ?? i'm like... i can't even process this bc how can i play a game with people like him like it's impossible i can't compensate for stupid people stupid #2 - sam b oh god this girl is a mess. i cant believe she voted out andrew just bc she was mad at isaac or whatever. like yeah he's fucking stupid but u just ruined your own game?? she can't beat jc sam or zack so idk what the fuck her goal is. she's also fucking stupid and if i wasn't drunk i might have knocked some sense into her stupid #3 - zack taking immunity from me even tho he didn't need it and painting a huge target on his back for no reason and fucking over a tight alliance he had with me... it's like do these people even know what survivor is??? how did u pick this "all stars" cast honestly kass voice id like to see that data stupid #4 - sam b honestly who is this bc she never talks to me and i try so hard to start a convo with her and she's just so boring god. apparently her own alliance wants to vote her out so what's her deal??? stupid #5 - Jc he's the least stupid bc honestly i think he's playing the best game out of everyone so i hope he wins if i can't at this point. but i'm not giving him too much credit bc he's only here bc certain individuals are literally STUPID and that is all

Later...

i think im going this round! bc zack is an idiot lmaoooo but whatever cant wait to vote for JC to win!!! lol this game is so boring and literally they all suck. im playing on idol paranoia and the fact that i have finals all of this week and have no time to play immunity but yeah it doesnt look good. Yikes.

UGH IM SO #PARANOID WHY DO I KEEP HAVING THE IDEA OF NOT PLAYING MY IDOL WHATS WRONG WITH ME I SHOULD JUST PLAY IT BEFORE MY ASS GETS CHOPPED FUCK

My favorite thing is how Jc and Sam G have convinced Zack that he has a chance of winning. He hasn't done anything this whole game besides been Jc's lapdog and win immunities like bye.  So this round the other side is splitting it's votes against me and Jakey and expect us to vote against each other so the expect the vote should be like 3-3 but Jc is negating my vote apparently so it's 3-2 but me and Jakey are voting Sam G so it's more 2-2-1 and Sam B isn't voting me and is voting Sam G so it should be 2-2-1 but Jakey also has the idol? So it should be 2-1 with Sam G going home hopefully. I don't want to give up playing this game I've worked too hard for too long to give up. This confessional is really choppy and is bouncing from one topic to another, sorry. I don't understand why Jc wants to keep Sam G when she's literally going to win if she gets to the end. The bitch had a successful idol play. Like?

I'm so sick and just want to go to bed but these fucking bitches had to pick tonight of all nights to try to blindside me. Now I gotta do work

hieeeee! SO. its revote time and i know what i'm doing! but anyways.. i still have my idol and if i use it on me next round im guaranteed 5th place (i think?) so hi WIG! let me go revote now.. this has been a long ass round.

If I'm gunna go I'm going out swinging! I've always tried to stay nice and polite while people are voting me out just in case I can flip but obviously these people are fucking dumbasses and I hope my favorite player ever JC slits all their throats and gets to the end

Later...

ifvdjskd so apparently Isaac and Sam B locked in their votes for me and Zack already said he'd go to rocks so like if JC doesn't go to rocks for me I'm gunna be so mad because I would go for them! If Zack is willing to go to rocks for me and JC isn't Zack 100% has my vote in the finals if he's there even if he's against JC omg JC BETTER DO THIS FOR ME

[survivorbangladesh-blog]

EPISODE 12: “Junior is forcing me to type a confessional....” - Joseph

Sam came to me like 10 minutes before the vote, and I might've flipped her? She asked me if the vote was Joe or Elliott and she said that she was told it was one of them. I got scared and was sketched and thought someone told Joe or her. I decided to try and make it seem like I wasn't sure, but still try to get her to vote Elliott so there wouldn't be any rocks. I'm SHOOK she did. Wow, I might've done that

Also, I forgot to mention this, but I made it past my best placement! I got out 6th in Congo, and now i'm in Final 5! There's no more brawn, and no more new Mastiska. I'm shook that this happened and I can't believe the progress I made. I feel like I've honestly grown so much.

I JUST FOUND A HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOL FOR THE SECOND FUCKING TIME. I AM OFFICIALLY IN THE FINAL FOUR OF THIS GAME!!!!!

So JUNIOR thinks it's cute to spring up a tribal right after the immunity challenge. I love ugly hosting. But I'm happy because I don't need to be worried because some how I found a second hidden immunity idol? Praise GOD!!! Anyway, I'm kinda happy that this tribal is happening. I'm hoping that it will be a clean vote for Rob if he does not win this immunity. I'm hoping Joe isn't lying to Sam and I. I mean, I have no idea if he might actually want to go with Rob and Steph to the end. Idk I'm nervous. But I mean at least I'm guaranteed final 4. If I win immunity I will probably play my idol on Sam cause I can't have her be voted out this round. Hopefully Joe sticks with us and it can be a straight forward vote. I have the idol so there's no need to worry about them having it. So I'd really love this to be a clean and easy vote, but nothing is ever easy in survivor. So I gotta be on my toes. kflkafenokfneoi wish Sam and I luck. The iconic Bonnie and Clyde alliance WILL make it to the final tribal council!

Im freaking am mad at Eddie, he screwed me over, idk who to vote for, imma get voted out probably, im always paranoid bye yall

This is where I begin to feel horrible about the fact that I'm about to vote out Rob.......... 

Junior is forcing me to type a confessional.... So now I'm going to be the last beauty standing. Rob is going and that's that. So long.

FINAL 5 IMMUNITY BABY!!!!! I was already guaranteed final 4 but now I can guarantee Sam the final 4 as well. Wow this is so bitter sweet. I won my second immunity, but now I have to vote out someone I truly do care about. I'm not gonna feel good about this no matter what he has done in the past. This sucks. But this is just another tough decision I gotta make now that I'm at the end..... Sorry Rob, you truly made this game special for me... It was amazing to be able to play with you. I'm really proud of how far you came and how well you did. At this point though, you're a threat to win and I gotta take you out. I'm so sorry. :(

Fuck. If Eddie fucking flips in gonna be so pissed. I want joe out so bad. But idkwhyhe got rob out of the challenge before Sam and joe. So hopefully Eddie doesn't play his idol on joe again. Why is so hard to trust your final 3 ? Lol 

OMG EDDIE TOLD ME HE FOUND THE IDOL AND IF HE WON IMMUNITY HE'D PLAY IT ON ME AND HE FUCKING WON IMMUNITY SO I THINK HE'LL PLAY IT ON ME BUT I'M STILL WAITING TO FIND OUT BUT OMG I THINK HE'S GOING TO FLKSHFLKADJS IM FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I REALLY HOPE THAT HE DOES THAT WOULD BE GUARANTEED FINAL 4 AND THAT WOULD BE AMAZING when Eddie doesn't answer when I ask him what he's doing with the idol <.< [11:00:32 PM] Sam (Westeros Host): what are you gunna do with the idol? [11:02:09 PM] Sam (Westeros Host): are we voting Rob? [11:02:41 PM] Eddie Bracco: yea literally completely avoids the question... okay

FUCK EDDIE. FUCK JOE. Sam, she's okay, she's cool personally, I can't believe she did that, she's winning now. Eddie's an idiot. Steph I love her, but I feel like she screwed me over. If she didn't try to expose what was happening, maybe I would've stayed. FUCK EDDIE HE'S A PIECE OF SHIT. DRAMA QUEEN. UGH I KNEW FROM HIS BEHAVIOR IN THE VIEWING LOUNGE THAT HE'S TRULY UGLY. FUCK COOPER.

On 11/18/16, at 11:35 PM, Rob Rangel wrote: > Eddie I am seriously over you. I hate you. I was honest to you and I would have taken you to the final two. I trusted and loved you. But after what you have done, I never want to speak to you again. I am genuinely hurt, and our Micronesia watch is off. What's that noise that I'm hearing??? oh... it's my chances of winning this game being flushed down the toilet. 

I can't believe I'm at final 4! This is wild honestly I NEVER thought I would have made it this far especially with someone I actually really trust. Like I'm pretty sure that Eddie and I can at least tie it if something crazy happens. I'm really hoping one of us two wins immunity because I'm not totally sure but I think Eddie wants to consider taking out Joe which I would think about I just also really want Steph gone because like what the fuck had she done? Preferably it'd be a final 2 and we could vote Joe and Steph out at the same time but that's also a risk because like one more vote I could leave on. I can't wait to see Eddie's confessionals, if he's as sappy and cheesy in confessionals as he is in PMs they're gunna be so adorable and cheesy I also can't wait to see Joe being all like "ha I'm totally holding Eddie and Sam together. I've got them both and if it came down to it they'd both pick me" and we'll just be like WRONG BITCH PLEASE And then Steph's will just be like "........"

BIG MOOD RIGHT NOW [11/20/16, 5:36:43 PM] Sam (Westeros Host): omg so in Panem I got sponsored and got an extra vote and I don't have anyone to tell about it because I don't trust anyone to say anything and I'm sad [11/20/16, 5:40:21 PM] Eddie Bracco: OMG I’m gonna feel the same exact way when I play my next game. Like I’m serious when I say that I have never trust someone as much as I trust you this game. Literally most of my confessionals are just me copying and pasting what we talk about in our chat because everything I tell you is exactly what I truly feel about the game because I have become so comfortable with you. [11/20/16, 5:57:58 PM] Sam (Westeros Host): It's so nice to just have someone you can talk to and just be like oh hey I'm thinking this! Oh guess what I got! Oh this is going on! And like you don't get that all time, like ever, so it's crazy! I love how this game worked it! [11/20/16, 6:08:44 PM] Eddie Bracco: I know, I have never had someone in a game who I have been 100% honest with the way I have been with you. It’s so crazy to know that I had one person going through every thing with me. It’s a little bittersweet that this game is ending, because I know I will never be aligned with someone in the same way that I was aligned with you. (Unless we get invited back for dynamic duos 2 LMAOOOOO) But … yea… I’m feeling really emotional today just cause of everything. It really had been one of the craziest games I have ever been through. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seriously though. As much as I want this demonic game to END. Having Sam by my side through out it all was such a comfortable and warm feeling. Knowing that I will probably never get the same thing in any other game makes me sad. Whatever happens tonight, this game will alway be the game that Sam and I took control over. I don't know if this will be my last confessional. I just want to thank you Sam. For sticking with me through it all, and being my partner in crime. I think it was at final 8 that I thought of the idea to call our alliance Bonnie and Clyde, because we're literally stealing the win away from everyone. And look at us now, we're in the final 4, and we only have two more people who we have to steal the win from. I'm proud of what we both accomplished in this game. You've been an awesome and loyal ally, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

well I'm hoping this isn't my last day. i want immunity so bad tonight. i need it more then anyone. of course the other 3 are very close and really to take each other to the final 3. so hopefully  i can win and get myself to the final 3 my self. 

Probably my last confessional before final 4 immunity. Hopefully everything goes well. Basically the way I saw it, voting out Rob put me in a pretty bad position in the final 4. While I do believe that Rob and Stephanie would have 100% targeted Sam, I also believe that the final immunity would have been between Sam and I. Rob and Steph were clearly a voting block, Rob would have never voted out Steph, and Steph would have never voted out Rob. If Sam wins that immunity, I am literally toast. Rob would never vote out Stephanie because he's all about bringing people to the end he can beat, and Sam would 1000% be gunning for me at the final 4 had I went against her and voted out Joe. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure Joe and Sam would both take me to final 2???? Where as if it was a final 2 I believe Steph and Rob would have taken each other. Even though Rob and Steph were two people who I had a better chance of beating, the goal is to make it to final tribal council in the first place. If you don't make it there you have zero chances of winning. So I had to keep Joe, to make sure that I was in a good position and had a good chance of making final tribal council. With all that being said wish me luck tonight! Just wanted to explain my decision to vote out Rob over Joe more thoroughly cause I don't really think I've explained my though process behind it.  

I'm freaking out I'm so nervous honestly! I was really afraid that Joe was gunna try to tie it up or something and I really don't want to go to jury now, this BETTER NOT BE ANOTHER CHALLENGE! Junior is about to make me cry on live youtube honestly. If it is a F2 I REALLY hope that Eddie or I because if Joe wins I'm gunna be so upset

On 11/5/16, at 11:23 PM, Ariel wrote: > beat all of their asses And I did exactly that Ariel... I did exactly that.

Coming into this vote, I'm guaranteed to vote for #godmantha the spy. The only way she doesn't get it is if she completely blows her speech, but with Ruben and Joseph, I HIGHLY doubt it. She's played the best game out of anyone, and I freaking knew she would win! I tried to prevent this, but oh well, she's a nice person, and it looks like nice girls do win. <3 Congrats Browneyedgirlxsg!!

I am voting for the person who played the best game a.k.a. the game people thought I was playing. BROWNEYEDGIRLXSG

Thanks for doing your best, Yunior <3 I say burn the hosts but I really mean "love the hosts" cuz you are the bomb.com and confessionals are wonderful but I know you've got a busy life so thanks for giving us what we have already <3

[survivorpanem]

EPISODE ELEVEN - “ONLY SO LONG BEFORE THE PET SNAKE TAKES A BITE “ - ANDREW

hieeeee. omg okay.. i feel like it's been a hot minute since i made an actual confessional and not just me vs kait and jenn in my host chat. ANYWAY. i won my second immunity basically just my luck sdhg. i just had one person in mind and went down the list each and every time and put there name with who i thought fit best and that really played out for me? NOW. i just won my third immunity and jake literally... went off one. saying fuck me and shit. like bro skldhg. im gonna be at work till 10pm tomorrow and im gonna miss tribal and the whole day. i couldn't risk anything because anything could happen so i had to ensure MY safety. like i love jake but i swear he has one more nasty mesage to send me before i ask him "who do you think ur talking to btw?" can i just say this real quick... allison- started the rally to try to get me out me- lets get allison out. allison- goes home. ryan- was partners with jordan pming everyone trying to get me out. me- lets get ryan out. ryan- goes home. jordan- same as above. was partners with ryan pming everyone trying to rally votes against me the allison week. me- lets get jordan out. jordan- goes home. everyone- lets get andrew out its time! me- lets get jaiden out. jaiden- goes home. https://68.media.tumblr.com/02aa5ec34518a894eef3408820de7bbd/tumblr_ohuo4d0OUh1uxnkpto1_1280.jpg NOW. im not getting jake out. he can have his hissy fit all he wants but i know theres loyalty still down there. but do i want isaac or andrew out now? hmm..

ME: TRIES TO SAVE ANDREW IS SUPER EXCITED WHEN JAIDEN FUCKS HIMSELF OVER SO ANDREW CAN SURVIVE THINKS WE'RE GOING TO WORK TOGETHER ANDREW: I'M GUNNA ELIMINATE SAM FROM THIS CHALLENGE ME: BOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? I'M OVER IT!! I'M READY TO KILL ANDREW I've decided I want me, Zack, JC, and Sam B to final 4 because fuck Jake and Andrew for killing me and fuck Isaac because he's guilty by association. Also in all of these receipts of Jaiden trying to try up the votes, ANDREW is the one who suggested me! Jaiden said me or JC and Andrew COULD HAVE SAID JC BUT HE DIDN'T SO BYE ANDREW. AND HE THREW HIS VOTE TO ME WHEN IT COULD HAVE GONE TO SOMEONE ELSE HONESTLY BYE

I'm honestly v upset to see Jaiden go :( I was definitely stressed in those last few confessionals but I really do luv Jaiden so much and actually did see us getting so much further in the game together :/ I don't know why he had to flip and not even tell me about it but idk hopefully I can make the best of this. Like I'm not the reason he got out necessarily and I feel like our relationship was good enough to have an ok chance of getting his vote if I ever make it to FTC, which is highly unlikely idek why I'm thinking about that when it's still like 5 votes away if it is going to be a f2 like I think it is. Then the immunity challenge seemed to go well even though I didn't win. It appears to have raised distrust towards Andrew from Sam which is veryyyy good because I'd love to get Andrew out! I'm not a fan of the comp slayers in the game, even miss Zack and Jakey who are my allies are worrisome because of their challenge abilities. Sky Ferreira is sex btw. Speaking of jakey too I'm not sure where his head is at? Idk I got weird vibes in the challenge, especially since he took me out before comp queen Zack which is...interesting, so it's caused a bit of untrust with jakey and I too. I'm just worried that he's actually going to start picking his game up and start slayin and when he does I wonder if he's going to stick with me or flip and go with other people. So I need to keep an eye out for his ass, and another on the finish line. I'm also going to try for the time being to just continue playing as if I don't have an idol. I feel like idols can impair your judgement abilities and actually be a kind of crux to your gameplay because you can get a bit too assured of yourself, and you can never feel safe in these games. It's worrying now too because I see like one of the main benefits that was around keeping Jaiden was that he was such a big threat, it was just like you could just be like oh yeah let's do Jaiden, and people would be like yeah tru and then of course you could flip it to who you really want later. Now jaidens gone and Isaac asked me who I wanted to vote and it's not like I could be like oh yea we should vote Jaiden hurr hurr. So idk I was just like what about jakey idk and he was like yeah I think jaidens high key annoying and I was just like ok 👀 mama calm down as he continued talking about how jakey a lil trifling hoe, but I mean jakey likes Make Me (Cry) by Noah Cyrus so could he really be that bad? Idk. I should ask what his zodiac sign is before I make any decisions for the vote or ideas of his character.

flkjfdsal I don't remember if I did a confessional but this could be my last one since it's 20 minutes before the vote and I've heard NOTHING from anyone except for JC! so like fuck Andrew and Isaac honestly I REALLY hope me Sam Zack and JC stick together but I don't see it happening. I'm pretty sure I'm getting voted out so like it's been real.

I'm so happy I've made Final 7 but more importantly, I made it passed Jaiden! This vote is messy btw I just woke up from a nap and I have no idea what I'm doing.

So I'm being voted by Sam G, JC, and Zack. I know that for sure. I'm hoping Myself, Isaac, and Sam B all vote together. And just get out JC. I guess Zack is playing a map on me. So he'll see I voted for JC. And they might play an idol on JC and I'll be fucked. I dunno if an idol is being played tonight but hopefully if it is then it's played on Sam G? I really don't wanna die. But id I am then Zack is a snake. Like I knew that asdfghj but. I was hoping maybe he would actually take the secret pair beware thing farther. I guess it was fun while it lasted. Only so long before the pet snake takes a bite. Anyway, I'm probs not surviving tonight. So I hope Isaac or Sam B or Jake wins. But like 98% hope Isaac wins because he fucking deserves it. This will likely be my last confessional so. It's been fun and I'm glad I was able to play a pretty awesome all-star season. Anyway DAN GHEESLING IS MY BROTHER BYE.

I HATE MAKING DECISIONS! I have 5 minutes to decide whether I want to work with Isaac and Andrew or Jc and zack. I'm super nervous because there will be drawbacks for each option I choose. Zack will probably yell at me a LOT if I flip and Isaac will probably be so hurt by me and not want to be friendship anymore. And I want to work with Andrew in PI Allstars so I don't want to betray him here. Ugh this is messy fuck

welp i have 5 minutes so zack fucked me over hard core in immunity this round and all trust i did have in him is lost. this round it would be ideal for JC to leave but idk if sam b. is smart enough to make that move... um!!! yeah im just trying to convince her but i dont rly see it happening. andrew will prob leave or me tbh. i honestly think its me lmao. oh well. fuck zack

WELL, It appears Andrew is voting me again! Vote me once, shame on you; vote me twice, bitch you gotta go! Ugh idk I'm heeeeella nervous that I might be going tonight so I'm definitely keeping my idol close, we might be seeing a play tonight. Maybe even two if Andrew has one. Hm. So, I approached Isaac, told him I wanted to vote Andrew. He claimed he was down to vote Andrew too, but told Sam that he wasn't going to vote me but would vote someone else. Sounds like an idol might be getting played on andrewwww so they're splitting the votes, huh?! How. Fucking. Cute!!! This is disgusting I'll probably have to play my vote negator on whoever Isaac votes and use my idol for everything to work out tonight. UGH! This is so worrisome, idk why Andrew had to vote me tho! Like girl couldn't you vote either Sam instead since everyone else is on your side and Zack is immune. Whyyyyy meeeeeee 😢😢 it's not like I was pushing to vote for Andrew this week and last week also! *sarcasm* but I mean still, come on! It's not like Sam G wasn't pushing for you too, ugh. I don't know this is tough, if anything I'm probably gonna at least reveal to someone that I have an idol tonight or something. I need to find out how this vote is gonna go down...this is gonna be a long bumpy rife

Later...

Oh my fucking God Samantha BUSSY voted me out I can't fucking believe this. I'm honestly shook like I messaged Sam G first asking if she flipped then when she said no I went to Zack when he said no I was like what the fuck, how could it be pure angel Sam Bussy??? I pressed her and eventually she admitted to it. So I went to her and she denied it at first but finally admitted to it later. Then I called her and I think I flipped her. Hopefulfuckingly! I'm trying to flip Isaac as well just in case anything goes wrong and hopefully I can. I really hope I stay my dumbass should've played my idol when my gut told me to, but I simply didn't listen, I'm so stupid! But if I /do/ survive, then this would really be a wild move and I'll definitely be playing shit next week, if not everything smh. I'm puhRAYING that my mist works, because if not I'm going down as a big idiot who went home with their idol, probably the first big idiot who went home with their idol in storybook history! THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN STORYBOOK HISTORY!!! Kms if I go out this game I'm screaming.