#but too many feels per square meter made me write this

[kojottek]

The night was cold, bringing back the memories of her struggle in knee-deep snow right after the Haven onslaught. But Hrafn felt safer now, seeing the warm glow of firepits all around Skyhold. Safer, when she knew she was climbing up the stone steps next to Blackwall's calm presence. He never asked for laurel nor even took credit for possibly saving the world from being swallowed by the Breach. For saving her for the second time. She learned about his heroic deeds from Cullen, who with shame informed her they all stopped looking for her at some point because they had to because there was a blizzard and they couldn't risk more.

Hrafn didn't blame Cullen at all, it was the right decision at a time, rendered bad only in the light of Blackwall's stubbornness to tear her right from the death's embrace. People talked.

And Gordon Blackwall never owned to his heroics when they spoke.

"Why?" She wanted to ask but never did. There was an answer in the way he looked at her, the first time she opened her eyes after days of feverish dreams. There was an answer in the way he held her hand back then and in every sleepless moment he spent by her cot in the healer's tent, thinking she wasn't noticing.

They reached the top of the wall, it was surprisingly calm, camp noises but a distant buzz up there, even the wind calmed down, like it too went to sleep with nightfall.

"We'll be able to spot Corypheus miles away," he said, overlooking the narrow bridge and snow-covered slopes.

The view was breathtaking. Sharp edges of snowy mountains cutting the dark sky in half with an irregular line. A single patch of orange light flickering in the distance.

"I'm happy the path led somewhere, just like Solas told me. I would hate to be lost in these mountains again. There's still frost in my bones."

Blackwall sighed very quietly.

"You never told me you were ready to sacrifice it all for me," Hrafn nudged and it visibly confounded him.

"I'm-- that's my duty, my lady. That's what I promised you to do when I joined the Inquisition."

She stood next to him, arm to arm and hip to hip, looking at the horizon. Their breaths crystalised in the icy air.

"You came back for me when everyone gave up."

"Of course!" He cleared his throat not looking at her, " I'd have done anything to save the Herald of Andraste."

"Oh. Was it stupid to think you were saving... Me?"

His head jerked up, mouth open, ready to form an answer that never came. And for a moment he looked like a schoolboy caught on an unruly act, a bit of redness on his sharp cheekbones.

"No," he whispered. "But it's not for me to say."

He leaned on the rampart eyes focused on some distant point beyond the foggy mountain landscape. A gust of wind that hit them untangled a single strand of hair from his ponytail and weaved it in the middle of his forehead.

"I know my place," he started, voice firm, "it's better if it stays this way."

It was hard to break through this defensive stance of his, especially now when all she could see was his back and side and Blackwall meticulously made sure he wasn't even looking in her direction, eyes still fixed on the landscape.

"Your place?"

"Yes," he paused, looked at his hands like he was expecting to find the right words written there, "I am your soldier, my lady. And as a soldier, I admire you from afar and take an approbatory look as my reward. That's all I can ask for."

Hrafn huffed. Her leadership was as fictitious as the entire story behind it and the frames she's been pushed into - because of the mark - now seemed particularly narrow.

"Well, I think my saviour," she emphasized the words, "deserves a thank you for saving my life when I most needed him."

She leaned far to kiss him on the cheek but Blackwall flinched and turned his head to her, surprised by her sudden closeness. This wasn't how she planned it, but it also didn't matter, she wanted to do it anyway, damned be the consequence. Her lips landed on his. This blink-of-an-eye moment when he processed his shock felt like an eternity. But then Blackwall kissed her back, his whole body turned to her, his hand cupped her cheek and... oh, creators, suddenly he was all that existed in the world around her. His warm lips, his hand in her hair, his entire form pushing her gently against the stone when he stepped into her space. That single strand of hair which tickled her nose when she swallowed a moan, trying to act composed. Hrafn laughed at herself at the thought. Composed? She was a mess. She wanted to stay that way, but Blackwall broke the kiss and heavied a breath, their foreheads touched.

"We can't," he huffed and let go of her like he'd only now realised he'd been holding her. "We can't, you can't afford to think of me like I'm more important than any other soldier. That's not right."

"You're not just a soldier, you--"

"No." He moved a step away. "I'm sorry. We have to stay focused. There's a breach in the sky, there are enemies all around..." He took a big haul of air, "Maker knows how much I want this." His face frowned in visible distress, "but... our lives are not our own."

[miraculouscontent]

Hi, Adrien is handed things on a silver platter whereas Marinette has to work for them.

First thing’s first is just the concept of the love square. Chat Noir gets to interact with Ladybug no matter what because they’re heroes. Ladybug - who carries the weight and responsibility of heroism without getting benefited from it - is required to go to every battle due to her purification ability, and Chat Noir of course is going to show up because he loves both flirting with Ladybug and the freedom of being a superhero.

In addition, Adrien got his miraculous by helping Master Fu up (something that would be expected out of any semi-decent person; by the way, yes, I know the “””significance””” of the action, and it’s silly), whereas Marinette saved him from being hit by a car.

Adrien was allowed back in school with still no explanation from Gabriel (especially since he’s Hawk Moth) as to why he thought it was a good idea to send his son to a school where the very first akumatization had happened. It was Adrien’s goal for the episode alongside making friends, and Nino offered him friendship out of pity when Adrien sulked about how Chloe was the closest thing to a friend he had.

Chat crushes on Ladybug because she stood up to Hawk Moth in a speech dripping with confidence, caught what seemed like hundreds of akuma, and came up with a plan quick enough to save Mylene and Ivan from falling to their deaths from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Marinette (who Chat fell in love with one side of first, mind you, so already this is to his benefit), meanwhile, crushes on Adrien because the narrative gave her a falsehood about him never having any friends (i.e: no Chloe) and he gave her an umbrella while he was ten meters away from his actual ride (like with Fu, again, any decent person--).

Chat’s crush on Ladybug makes things harder for her because it causes him to throw tantrums mid-battle, get distracted and distract her because he’s busy flirting, all of which make her feel guilty for not returning his feelings. Marinette’s crush on Adrien makes things hard for her again because it causes her to embarrass herself while virtually everyone who knows teases/mocks her for it, their opinions of her even being dragged down due to the crush (see Alya with the Lila situation).

Chat is shipped with Ladybug by Parisians everywhere and Alya delighted in taking a picture of them kissing (that got posted on the Ladyblog without Ladybug’s consent). Likewise, the other LadyNoir kiss (that Ladybug had to do to free Chat from Dark Cupid’s control) was shown on live TV for all watching to see. Marinette’s kisses with Adrien, however, were either wiped from the timeline (in which Adrien got to keep a secret from her so he could date “””Ladybug”””) or used to humiliate her because Adrien was attempting a prank.

Ladybug realizes that Chat is in serious about her, not because he told her himself, but because he relayed it to Marinette who happened to be Ladybug. Marinette, on the other hand, has spent 3+ seasons attempting to confess her feelings to Adrien or make advances on him, all of which ended in some form of failure and some of which through no fault of her own.

Chloe shoved her in “Bubbler” (Adrien didn’t even check on her) and then Nathalie crushed the note she’d written on a scarf that Marinette put tons of time and effort into, leading to Adrien thinking it was from his dad.

“Copycat” was accidental and came on too strong, requiring its deletion.

She got distracted by Alya and forgot to write her name in “Dark Cupid,” her letter only further solidifying Chat’s crush on Ladybug.

She kept getting interrupted in “Gamer” after Alya chided her for using the event to get with Adrien (despite Alya doing the same thing for Marinette during the film in “Horrificator” while Mylene was MIA).

She wasn’t able to tell Adrien about Lila’s thievery in “Volpina” because the grimoire had to remain a secret.

The hat in “A Christmas Special” got given away within minutes and then not even brought back on-screen by Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien never even thanked Marinette personally for it).

Kagami came out of nowhere to take the fencing spot in “Riposte.”

Deciding not to make schemes only led to her embarrassment in “Gigantitan.”

She got made fun of and the notes all conveniently looked the same in “Backwarder,” leading to her mixing them up.

The macaron for Adrien (that Marinette would prepare every week) never got eaten by him and ended up causing the akuma after Chloe had emotionally manipulated Marinette into scheming with her.

Practicing on a statue (as per Tikki’s advice) in “The Puppeteer 2″ humiliated her when Adrien revealed himself as the statue.

She was embarrassed during the party in “Party Crasher” because she was pressured into dancing without her consent.

The timeline had to be reset in “Chat Blanc” and she had to lie to her friends that she hadn’t given Adrien the gift even though she’d actually succeeded, while the hat she made just for Adrien got written off as a gift from a random fan (which is an even worse fate than the scarf).

The confession in “Felix” was deleted by Felix himself before Adrien could see it.

And Adrien, meanwhile? Ohhhh boy, lemme tell you about Adrien.

He gets put into suggestive/close positions with Ladybug on many, many occasions, all for “free.”

He got a kiss from Ladybug in “Dark Cupid” that, remember, got photographed and put on live TV.

He got to goad the audience without consequence about he and Ladybug potentially being in a relationship eventually - gaining the knowledge that all of Paris was invested in LadyNoir to thoroughly stroke his ego - and then Ladybug had to act like they were a couple in “Prime Queen” to the point of holding Chat’s hand and saying that they were in love.

Likewise, “Glaciator” featured Ladybug having to act like a couple with him again, now to the point of kissing his cheek, and then Chat got a blush from her after he’d spent a good chunk of the akuma battle pouting that Ladybug didn’t come to the date he set up (that she hadn’t even known was a date because he purposefully withheld that information) despite her telling him that she’d have to see about it because she had plans.

He was reassured in “Anansi” on being “irreplaceable” after he made an unnecessary comment about being replaced by a turtle (Carapace).

He got to carry Ladybug around bridal style and also save her in “Sandboy” and “Reverser” respectively because she was rendered essentially useless without him, then got to save her again in “Frozer” after giving her the cold shoulder for rejecting his feelings.

He’s the one who got told by Marinette’s own parent not to apologize for how he feels in “Weredad” (note that Marinette herself never got this talk from Sabine, nor Tom, which very much could’ve prevented “Crocoduel”).

He got a cheek kiss from Ladybug in “Desperada” after getting to undo the very-much-against-the-rules identity reveal he made to her via Second Chance.

He got to look good in “Gamer 2.0″ when Ladybug was seeking advice from him despite the fact that her and Chat’s situations hero-wise are absolutely, completely, 100% different and he didn’t even try to take that into account.

He got Ladybug resting her head on his shoulder because of what she saw in a deleted time in which he - unbeknownst to her - lied by omission.

A fake Ladybug tried to kiss him on two separate occasions, “The Puppeteer 2″ and “Ladybug,” much to his delight (something to note is that the fake Adrien who went after Ladybug in both “Chameleon” and “Felix” tried to force themselves on her).

He got the “jealousy” moment from Ladybug in “Heart Hunter” and then a hug from Aquabug in “Miracle Queen.”

He received no repercussions for taking Ladybug out on a date (that she wasn’t aware was going to be a date) in “Gang of Secrets,” at best having to apologize for her behavior to the people around them.

He got reassured that Ladybug “couldn’t do this without him” in “Guiltrip,” even to the point of being told that she “probably doesn’t tell him enough.”

He got told by Ladybug that she would never abandon him in “Hack-San” because he was guilting her sulking about how his not knowing her identity would mean that he’d never see her again if she left him somehow.

And before you think this only extends to the romantic aspects of love square, let me tell you now that it definitely doesn’t.

Marinette entered the bowler hat competition and had to defend her own work to the judge.

She ran for class representative and had to earn the trust and faith of her class in “Darkblade” when put up against Chloe’s bribery.

She did whatever she could to make sure Juleka got her picture taken in “Reflekta.”

She had to actually craft a pair of glasses suitable for Jagged Stone in “Pixelator” and then make a gorgeous album cover for him in “Guitar Villain.” (note that this partially led to “Troublemaker” where she was just happily wanting to advertise her parents’ business, and the writers multiplied her Adrien pictures for the sake humiliating her when it was caught on live TV)

She had to work to get ungrounded by improving her attendance in “Simon Says,” because she had been busy being a hero.

She worked to try and get Nathaniel and Marc to get together on a project, knowing it would be good for both of them.

She set up an entire celebration for her bully to try and make said bully feel good about herself in “Malediktator.”

She did Kitty Section’s designs and costumes in “Silencer” and then had to go protect them from being stolen, along with her friends’ music.

She had to wear multiple miraculouses in “Kwamibuster” in order to go against Kwamibuster and get back both the ladybug earrings and the cat ring.

“Gamer 2.0.” Just... “Gamer 2.0.″

She made a whole complex lockbox to protect the Miracle Box in “Gang of Secrets.”

She worked to reach out to Zoe in “Sole Crusher” even after Zoe trashed her in front of the school, going as far as to try and comfort Zoe’s akumatized form.

She had to stand up for the movie to be fixed in “Queen Banana” because no one else would.

She has to work each and every akuma battle as Ladybug, figuring out Lucky Charms that can range from simple to complicated, while simultaneously dealing with a partner who relies heavily on her plans and will occasionally make things harder by either throwing tantrums mid-battle or distracting her.

And meanwhile...

Chat Noir got to throw the blame onto Ladybug for Theo’s akumatization in “Copycat.”

Marinette covered for him in “The Collector” when he was the one who recklessly lost the grimoire by not being careful with it.

He got handed Fu’s identity in “Syren” after whining to Ladybug, throwing blame on her and trying to bribe Plagg so they’d tell him, threatening to quit while Paris was underwater, and all of this while Marinette herself only got to meet Fu because she had the grimoire on her.

He was given the moral high ground in “Malediktator” despite not having to actually care about Chloe enough to call/check on her.

He got to sit back in “Chameleon” and not concern himself with judgment or comment on the situation with Lila, even going into “Ladybug” where he continues to inform no one about Lila (including Marinette, who briefly believed that Lila came to her senses and was willing to make amends) after Lila got Marinette expelled, despite the complete lack of risk on his part considering who his father is and how harshly Lila would be dragged through the mud if she dared to trash his reputation.

He clumsily trips in “Captain Hardrock” in a fashion that reveals an instrument he happens to play, leading to him getting invited to join Kitty Section within seconds of being on the Liberty. (so when Adrien is clumsy, it’s to his benefit, and when Marinette is clumsy, it’s to her detriment)

He never got called out for distracting Ladybug and digging for details that could relate to her identity in “Kwamibuster” (which, again, forced Marinette to do all the work to fix things).

He got a party thrown for him in “Party Crasher” by Nino, and also guys that Adrien had never put forth effort into interacting with or befriending (Marinette had also been through more with all of them sans Nino).

He got to force Ladybug’s favorite traits of his out of her in “Truth” because she was under the influence of Truth’s powers.

He got off the hook for sacrificing himself in “Lies” by flirting about Ladybug’s “irresistible angry little pout,” and also never got repercussions for flirting with another girl while dating Kagami.

He never had to face consequences for smashing a chimney in “Sentibubbler,” even as he was dismissing the gesture because he knew Miraculous Ladybug would fix it.

He didn’t have to apologize for his behavior in “Hack-San,” whereas Ladybug "had to” for telling someone else her identity (the details of why - i.e: that she was having a mental breakdown and needed a release from it - being completely left out) and not telling him that she was leaving (when she literally hadn’t had time to tell him anything; do note as well that Adrien didn’t have to do the same in either “Backwarder” or “Startrain”).

He received no consequences and was in fact rewarded for allowing the akuma in “Wishmaker” to hit him, a choice that Viperion has to live with because it caused him to see both Ladybug and Chat’s identities (meaning now Luka - someone who, like the guys in “Party Crasher” - Adrien has done virtually nothing for - can support Adrien since he knows).

And I could go on, I really could, but my point is that Adrien is given all of the sympathy and sad points while Marinette basically never is. Just like how he was born swimming in money, fame, and adoring fans, the show hands out praises and all the things he’s ever wanted because he’s sad.

He doesn’t have to try. He can whine and complain and vent to Plagg about how “replaceable” he is because the show will mollycoddle him to the moon and back. They’ll put his crush on Ladybug’s shoulders to make her feel guilty while Marinette is over here having to bust her butt just for a chance at Adrien recognizing any semblance of her feelings, and he goes on being blissfully ignorant of them so he doesn’t have to suffer like Ladybug does.

In addition, Marinette has to either be “““making mistakes”““ or embarrassing herself in order to get screen time because the burden of lessons fails upon her, whereas Adrien can be name-dropped without even doing anything.

It’s not just the love square that’s unbalanced, it’s everything between these two. Ladybug is scolded and punished for the slightest act of selfishness while Adrien is encouraged and rewarded for being selfish and demanding things. Marinette has to work to be noticed (and sometimes won’t even get that much) while all Adrien has to do is put on his best sad face and the show will bend over backwards to either give him exactly what he wants or make him the sympathetic one through the narrative.

Even if Adrien had known about Marinette’s crush at the time that Ladybug knew about Chat’s, it wouldn’t matter, because the tipped scales in how they’re treated would still make it so Marinette is the one at fault for “dumping her feelings onto Adrien” while Ladybug is still forced to interact with Chat even if his advances make her uncomfortable.

[cooltrainererika]

Alt-talia: It’s Starting to Feel Like Christmas

Hello, hello everyone! Joy to the world!

For some reason I thought this event began today, not yesterday, until pretty recently… but fortunately, while it’s a day late, I got to write this! I did plan on others, but I’m releasing this now so I can get it out just in case, especially since the two others could also fit on another day. This is mainly for 12/16: Presents, but it can also fit under Decorations and Traditions, so three in a row! Woot!

This time, I want to write more about characters I may have missed during Hetaween, since my character pool ended up narrower than intended. ...And saying that, I’m writing about two characters I’ve written twice in that event! Yay!

I debated whether to write about this topic in general or about it specific this year, but chose the latter. I hope I’ll get to release a more in-depth fic about it in general some other time. So yeah, I’m using some really fresh material again this time.

Oh yeah, BTW, most of my fics take place in my “Alt-talia” semi-AU where I aim to capture history and culture more faithfully and most importantly overhaul the many characters who make no sense drastically. This will especially be noticeable for England. So yeah, you have been warned. Though maybe he’s a bit OOC here compared to how I usually write him? Also, it should be noted that I use country names when talking about the characters as countries, and with human names when referring to them as individuals; while in Alt-talia the difference can be more hazy than canon, I mean more talking purely about their personal interactions and the like. 

Also, this is not intended to be shipping! 

This was supposed to be like a few lines with no real arc, but whelp. At least I still kept it short. Also there’s a deleted scene I didn’t know how to end as a bonus at the end. 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(Oh, and those who read my fics; please comment or reblog? I work hard on these, and they would be highly appreciated.)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It’s Christmastime Again, Lukas Haraldsen

Every year since 1947, Norway had a tradition of sending special Jul presents to a certain nation very dear to him. 

His Norwegian Spruce trees were prized by all; he regularly got bidders from all over Europe, and had witnessed many a fight over them get ugly. But the best of the best were only reserved for a certain United Kingdom; and the best among these, the Queen of the Forest, nurtured by the songs, voices, and arms of some of the world’s best, most loving foresters, for England. Specifically his capital, London.

After all, nothing could make up for the debt he had for him. In the dark days of Nazi occupation, London for him was hope; it was where England protected his royal family as they awaited the Nazis’ demise, from where the radio blared and urged him to fight on, where the skies have become a proving ground to show that the Nazis could be vanquished. 

He knew this year had been a mess for his friend, and his recent election, the second one that year, had done nothing to mitigate it; and while even Norway knew only he himself and his uncharacteristically impulsive decision really was to blame for his current situation, hopefully, this would improve his mood for the uncertain road ahead. 

Norway was a quiet, unassuming man, but he took his presents seriously. And he also took Jul seriously. 

And this year was no different. While he sent many trees every year to different cities in the kingdom, including to some of Scotland’s, the most important was of course the one sent to the City of Hope itself. 

And now, in the heart of Trafalgar Square, wearing a traditional sweater which may as well have been a T-shirt compared to the attire of the Londoners passing by as they started their day, whistling En stjerne skinner i natt and Vårres Jul to himself. 

“Mmm… Ah, Arthur!”

He waved and smiled gently as the man in question, dressed very much warmly in a thick duffel coat and wool knit scarf, came into view. 

“Ahem. I’m here too.”

Today beside him was one Peter Bates, or Sealand as he preferred to be called, adorably bundled up in a woolen coat, mittens, knit hat, and light blue scarf, now crossing his arms. 

“Right, right. Sorry.”

“Ello, Norway. Don’t mind him, he said he wanted to see the tree again and ‘His Highness’ Prince Bates told me to take him with me. Bloody cold here today, isn’t it?”

He was shivering a bit, his nose a noticeable red and his breath a white mist. 

“Nothing I’m not used to. I’ve been waiting for you here. I chose one which is much older and taller than usual. See for yourself.”

Norway moved aside so that his gift would be in full view of his friend. It was a product of the forests on the banks of Trollvann lake, raised with love as any tree worthy of Trafalgar Square would be, almost twice as tall and two or three decades older than the first tree to have had the honor to have the honor of being offered on this annual occasion. 

England stared at the tree. 

Silence. 

“Wow, it’s huge!”

Peter was the first one to speak, his eyes sparkling. 

“England? ...England?”

Norway asked, watching his blank expression. 

“Well… I know that I am causing quite a bit of annoyance, but if I remember correctly, you weren’t in the EU, right?”

Norway was now perplexed. 

England looked to him with a with an expression that could only be said to be both a gentle smile and disappointment at the same time. 

“It seems like it needs a drink, does it not? It looks a bit dry and quite thin.”

Norway thought he felt his heart sunk a little. 

Peter sharply elbowed England in the side, making him gag. 

“Sealand, please don’t.”

“It’s a present, you jerk! ...Don’t listen to Scrooge over here, she’s beautiful.”

“Well you do live on a metal platform in the ocean…”

He jabbed him again.

Norway’s face went a bit red. 

“She’s much older and taller than the usual ones. It won’t look just like a smaller one you would have in your living room.”

“Sorry. I’m just saying it looks a bit sparse, is all.”

Norway lifted up one of many boxes of lights. 

“Mmm… Well, will you be too busy to help?”

“Yes, am afraid. More negotiations and all. So I am presuming it will be lit in the cucumber style as per usua- ach!”

Peter this time kicked him in the knee, making the older nation’s legs buckle a bit. 

“I’ll help, Mister.”

The boy said. 

“No, no, you don’t have to.”

————

Norway had to admit; maybe he had gone too much for size this time around. But Peter insisted that it not looking completely picture perfect was what made it look real instead of “Plastic tat”. 

And, as usual, put up the lights his own way, pure white streaks from top to bottom, “cucumber style” as England called it. 

And despite his complaints, on the night of lighting two days later, as the streams of light lit up in the heart of London in the crisp air and Norway listened to Peter cheer loudly with the crowd, the mayor of Oslo give her speech, and children caroling, amongst a sea of Londoners peppered with tourists, England stood beside him. 

“Well, it indeed finally feels like Christmas now.”

Norway looked to his friend, whose eyes were on the star, towering almost 25 meters above. 

“Well… maybe it is not quite up to your usual quality. But stability has been hard to come by nowadays; this tree being here every year, that I can rely on.”

Norway merely gave a quiet “Mmmm.” in response. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So that’s that. If anyone desires an explanation, I’ll provide it in a reblog or something, but I’d rather my stories inspire further research.

Also, “Lukas Haraldsen” is the name I’m using for Norway now, since a lot of Norwegians don’t seem to like “Bondivik”. “Haraldsen” because the founding king of the country is said to be King Harald Fairhair, and as Alt-talia nations can choose their surnames I thought it would be fitting if the surname Norway chose was “Son of Harald”. This name isn’t final though. Especially “Lukas”; does baptism change names again? Also Sealand has been renamed to “Peter Bates” instead of Kirkland; I don’t know why Hima chose that surname, since Sealand’s whole shtick is that he wants to be seen as an independent country. Why would he have the same surname? “Bates” is the surname of his owners, BTW, if that wasn’t clear. 

Again, this wasn’t really supposed to be a complete story with a neat conclusion, and not as heartwarming as intended. Kind of a similar case to Keep Calm actually, which also just happened to involve England. It was an opportunity to show England being a d*ck because, believe me, Alt-England can be an absolute d*ck when he wants to be. But despite the fact that he’s one of the characters whose d*ckery I actually kind of enjoy writing in a Love to Hate way, I haven’t had the chance to do that so far in these events... and I guess I got halfway there? I guess just ending it on England passive-aggressively insulting the tree was just a bit too meanspirited for me. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Deleted scene

<F%CKYE4H: Wow, it’s like ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ in real life! What, are you gonna break out the aluminum trees now?>

<StillInInferno: Mate, at least you have a real tree, because down here it’s not only hot as hell but if I had any Christmas trees to begin with, they’ve already fucking burned to shit.>

<MooseOfMaple: Dad… With the hassle you’ve been causing everyone you might not have the right to complain about someone showing kindness and holiday spirit to you.>

Arthur huffed as his children ribbed him in the family chat that night. 

<RuleBritannia: Don’t preach to your father, we went over this.>

<F%CKYE4H: Still, giving, not receiving, y’know.>

<MooseOfMaple: Dad, please… As someone who knows spruce trees very well, I do question Norway’s decision, but still. The world doesn’t revolve around you anymore.>

<RuleBritannia: I do not think that. Please stop accusing me of it.>

<BlacKoru: Yeah. It revolves around America. Make of that what you will.>

<F%CKYE4H: Kiwi! I can see that!>

[hello-john]

Might Be Most Anything from me. John  Images of things pop just into my mind with a very detailed picture on a PCs monitor. May be trigged from a word I just saw. I have designed very complicated machines in my mind while drawing its technical diagram that I use to fabricate the system which I put into the service I needed performed. The machine I am thinking about when writing this was drawn sitting on a toilet seat over time in a shite factory I suffered in for twenty years. It’s a complete heating system I built for one of my business buildings that was fueled with free used motor oil. Not much I cannot do. Played guitar from 7 by ear from moms Johnny Cash LPs at first for tuning then finding the notes and building with my hands really puts information in memory that builds images that has made me very inventive and I stand out among a large amount of people as one to go to for technical info that would solve there problems. I am a very gentle kind person that has never felt anger so don’t know the feel of that destructive emotion. I have had to be in some very rough fight with men and I can be deadly mean but it was only defense from necessity not fear. Many learned to respect me seeing the whippings I have given to teach men right from wrong to change their unkind behavior. If someone is hurting another bully style it pulls the trigger in my mind and that Facur is going to feel a beating and learn that hurting people is a wrong decision that is opposite of Gods instruction, therefore immoral. It was wrong for me to beat him also, but I can feel others pain and I know inside and out how pain feels as I have experienced much more of it the most and it is a very horrible and traumatic thing. I have three advance stage disease’s. Vascular, neuropathic and skeletal. The first two block blood flow and currently lack of blood has wounds breaking out in my feet heavy going up calves and hands. Prognosis states infection to gangrene at which point feet have to be removed. No worry here I can’t use them anymore and will be glad to get away from the suffering pain that many time’s the past year give me strong thought of an easy bullet through the temple. It’s get’s unable to bare but so far it makes me pass out after several hours of suffer. Right now I can think and write after it passed me out sometime yesterday. Now I live in fear of it coming on real strong. This fear is hard for me as I do not feel fear of things normally. Two childhood trauma’s instilled fear into me. Two dog serious dog attack’s developed fear of dog’s into me between 3 and 4 years old that I conquered very quick then a bad fire I put out at 11years old inside a small cabin my little brother and I had behind the main house we lived in a lot of the time. Providing this cabin was a very effective plan for my parents to have privacy for sex which I respected. Even quite young I knew what was going on with them in that area and there were other rules in place that kept my little brother and I out of the house. If it’s good enough weather outside we were required to be outside and we loved being outside. Even if it felt too cold in winter once out we could not come back in for at least two hours being too cold was not a reason to enter early that was honored.  I have been painfully cold several times in my life. I am not dragging out stories very far hoping to keep things interesting. I would sometimes like to keep going and would link to more on a subject only I don’t know how.    White  Roses Rambling About Giving Beauty Proudly Stop And Pop Stop And Pop Sunrise Trumpets Pop Pop  Constellated Horn Bells Exchanging Brilliant Orange Reflected Light Just As The Rose Ornamented  Miles Of  Cobblestone Awe Exhaust Away Blaring Into Breathtaking Trained Trumpet Vines That  Are Best Un-Missed

I have observed a lot of change in the pattern of life that adolescents follow over my time of life. I am 63 here in 2021 and subtracting 63 will reveal my birth year of 1958. It was 6am that 23rd of June in Pittsfield IL when I first sensed light upon exiting the dark chamber of development. John William Curry Sr is who began life in that, segment of time. TIME: This perpetualy moving invisible multi-processing machine developed to measure the past and future. I think a lot about time. One thing that poped into my imagination was seeing the future flowing into the intake of time passing through Changing then out the exhaust. I record this as a variable where I will refer to the Past at times,as The "Exhaust of Time" "Times Exhaust"and some others. It looks like a jet engine,just a big round tube with a spinning turbine blower pumping air needed to combust liquid kerosene fuel through the tube and believe me the air speed flowing in through it's front end is slow compared to air's velocity exiting it's rear. All engins that combust liquid fuel are air pumps. One simple thing about engines is that Air has a constant pressure of 14.7 PSI pounds per square inch. We do not feel the pressure of air against us as the pressure is the same inside but take a piece of steel that is a one inch x one inch square that weighs 14.7 pounds and with one arm on a table stand it on there with your free hand then you will feel a quite strong painful push and would gain an appeciation of psi in terms of power. What can be done with only 1 square inch and only 14.7 lbs of force from earth's atomospheric pressure? Well, only double that piece of steel's weight and you would be thinking lets get this off quick. Wouldn't have to add many more pounds and it would push through the flesh. Air pumps raise the pressure of air mechanicly by compressing it very hard into a small closed chamber. I am using automobile engines in this explantion of increasing pressure to high levels of power, capable of doing an outragous amount of work from a tiny amount to start with. Only 1 little square inch and a measly 14.7 psi. Multiplication capability here is great, we are taking a small number and making it much larger. I am going to use real numbers from my 406 cubic inch displacment Chevrolet engine I built for my 1974 Z 28 4-speed Camaro drag racing car back around 1998 about 450 Horse Power that could pull 3600 pounds one quarter of a mile in around 11.5 seconds. For me this is quick as I care to be moving it could barely get slowed down enough to make the first turn off back to pit area. I made several modification's to increase air flow capability as close to 100 % as I knew how, likely ending in early 90s. I modified the air flow ports through the cylinder heads with air grinders and sanders, larger and shaped better, added an aluminum racing intake manifold and used 1-5/8 diameter exhaust headers. I don't want to get to far into things but just an fyi about exhaust headers advantage, all of the tubes routing exhause gas out are the same length (factory pipes are all different lengths) being the same length, all pressures are equal in flow speed and volume all nice and smooth unlike the constantly changing factory units, we can get near 30 horsepower here and another thing choosing the optimum diameter headers is critical.

The carburetor only does 2 basic things 1 Meter fuel 2 Control air flow. If the carb. is correctly sized in CFM cubic feet per minute and metering jets are proper size then the air and fuel will be mixed together at 14.7 parts air to 1 part gasoline into a vapor. Commonly called a 14 to 1 ratio 14:1. A/F Ratio air fuel.This is optimum ratio for complete combustion of liquid fuel. I installed an Oxygen sensor into exhaust flow connected to a milivolt meter when 200 Mv was displayed A/F was correct. Mid-eighties I think is when car's started the electonic engine managment. The O-2 sensor monitors exhaust gas temperature by converting heat to an electical signal. 200 Mv milivolt signal tells the computer fuel combustion is normal. If it goes higher this tells the computer not enough fuel is being supplied because the exhaust temperature has raised. If it goes lower it is saying too much fuel is present though this is rare to happen it does. One case I recall. The water temperature control thermostat stuck in the open postition not allowing water to heat up to proper operating temperature which told a temperature sensor to signal the computer the engine is not warmed up yet deliver more fuel to run a cold engine. This is all really long ago and my memory does experience recollection difficulties as I am quite ill in high levels of pain continually and to fail mentally as a result though I value fact and truth to no end I will not steer wrong knowingly. I used a .030 over 400 small block Chevy with the longer sroke crank of 3-3/4" went with the longer 5.7 350s rod a KB Hyperutectic trick piston allowing extra rod length capability reducing rod angle sharpness when crank throw is at 90 degrees and 1.6:1 ratio rockers on intake and exhaust valves, stock is 1.5:1. This is a very effective trick for extra power. I am just going from memory from many years ago when all this took place. I had built many stock engines before but this was my first high performance engine build. I always dreamed of drag cars and engines since childhood going to the drag races watching a pure white awesome 57 Chevrolet 4-Gear Stand up on it's ass end hitting all 4 gears! I love torque. Blasting out of the hole this gold van pulls up into a 65-70 degree wheelie packing it's V8 completly down the quarter mile that nice day at Lee Co Dragway back in the 60s In current (western) culture, more and more people are searching for a connection with the divine within themselves instead of a connection with an external almighty power. These 3 lines are from a

[wesleyv21-blog]

Nearing the end of week one!

Hello, y’all!

Just a disclaimer: writing and speaking in English is already a little difficult, so if I say weird stuff just ignore it lol. Somehow, it’s already felt like ages since I landed; yet at the same time, in the words of a man I had the honor of talking to today, ya no he aterrizado; todavía estoy en las nubes. Hay mucho para contar y voy a empezar con martes.

On Tuesday, we spent our last day in the town of Tababela. After going through various logistical things, a group of us hit the town around early evening/late afternoon to this little pizzeria catered for tourists. It was called Chester’s (after the owner’s beagle), and the menu was even in English lol. It opened not long after the new international airport did, which explains its presence. Needless to say it was a blast, and I can definitely say I will miss the tranquility, hot sun that made you feel at ease with the world, and the hospitality of the inhabitants of Tababela.

We touched briefly on a problem that seems rampant across the so-called Global South. The colonial legacy has such a stranglehold still on the population yet at the same time has facilitated the rise of a new elite who keeps their pockets lined with foreign cash while doing nothing to alleviate social injustices in their own country. This is a problem that will need to be problematized further. También, I had some insightful interchanges with some of the other students about our privilege to even be in this country. We have so much wealth (broadly defined) that has put the world at our fingertips. It wasn’t a matter of if I could study abroad; it was where. I believe this is so telling. Then our academic director, Faba, nailed it on the head: can you imagine a group of Ecuadorian students romping through the states asking random people questions in the name of “research?” Of course not! It would be ludicrous. Yet that is exactly what we would do the next day.

On Wednesday, we were given instructions on how to get to the bus stop in Tababela and to proceed there after breakfast para coger el autobús hacia un pueblo cercano que nos asignaron nuestros profes. My group’s destination was Pifo, a little town to the south of Tababela and only about a 40-minute bus ride east of downtown Quito. When we arrived, we were tasked with finding the city square, observing all we could about it, going up to random strangers to ask them about the town, find a place to eat lunch, and navigate the bus system once again to make it to our hotel in Quito. It was quite the experience. That I lived to tell about it I think demonstrates just how well I and my fellow students can survive in a Spanish-speaking country. What we found out was that Pifo seems to be a “just-passing-through” kind of town, as many of the merchants would only come into Pifo to sell their wares even though they didn’t live there. I talked with a man who was on his way home to Ambato from the airport. He and I ended up having a fantastic conversation about politics and current issues facing Ecuador. Some of the big ones are a massive amount of foreign debt, a national referendum that might amend the Constitution along 7 lines which takes place this Sunday, and the ages-old dilemma of capitalistic investment vs. conserving the environment. Then, we met this other very nice man who ended up problematizing our notion of “poverty.” He told us that too many foreigners come to Ecuador with their preconceived notions of what poverty is when, he said, the reality is that Ecuadorians are rich beyond compare in biodiversity and natural beauty. Ecuador is, in fact, the most biodiverse country per square kilometer or meter or something like that lol in the world. Yasuní National Park out east is actually the single most biodiverse spot in the world. While in a restaurant for lunch, we broke a plate accidentally and ended up having to pay for it lol. Once we had all the info we needed, we boarded the bus for Quito.

Quito is quite unlike any city I’ve ever seen. It’s long and narrow, with the towering Pichincha volcano to the west and the just immense Cotopaxi volcano to the south. It’s crowded, loud, tall, and there’s always something going on. Our taxi from the bus station took almost as long as our bus ride into the city, yet the distance separating our hotel from the bus stop was less than 2 miles. At night, after we got settled, the program directors invited some local Ecuadorian university students to come share their perspectives with us in a panel format; then, we had the chance to talk with them personally. Two stand out most in my mind. One, a 26-year-old architecture students with a wife and child, hailed from a part indigenous, Kichwa-speaking family. His hair was braided in a long braid that reached his waist. When asked about it, he told us that for him, wearing his hair this way was an act of resistance. For too long, the mestizo-dominated society (mixed European and indigenous Andean and Amazonian heritages) have marginalized darker-skinned, indigenous, and afrodescendant communities. For this student, wearing his hair in the traditional way handed down to him from his grandfather was a giant middle finger to this oppressive regime. And he is teaching his son to do the same. He related how one day, his son was made fun of for his long, girlish-looking hair. His son responded that no, he was not a girl, instead he was a proud indigenous boy whose long hair enabled him to make contact with the universe. Apparently the boys who made fun of him went home to their families and expressed jealousy over this boy’s self-confidence and “cool” hair. Isn’t that awesome? This man’s resistance was inspiring for me, even though I come from such a different context.

Similarly, there was a young woman studying sociology. She had quite the structural lens and was very articulate in diagnosing some of Ecuador’s problems in terms of oppressive social structures. When asked about the topic of abortion, she quickly moved onto more enabling aspects of Ecuadorian patriarchy that make abortion so controversial and fatal in many cases. In her perspective, the lack of sexual education in Ecuador is a dire problem that needs to be addressed. This country has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in all of Latin America, and she thinks that a big part of this is the lack of sexual education. But what is there to do in a country dominated by both machismo and marianismo and a conservative Catholic church? In her view, structural changes are urgently needed. It was refreshing talking with someone like her, because even though we are from different contexts, her analysis reveals that patriarchy might operate similarly in different places. Needless to say we got along quite well. After the students left, we all went out to the Plaza Foch, a well-known hotspot for Quiteño youth due to the numerous bars and clubs. I ended up with a group that settled on this little outdoor area with restaurant stalls all selling food and drinks. They had cards and board games in a clear marketing strategy aimed at foreigners lol. I ended up talking with this man who is a Venezuelan refugee. He had come very recently to escape what is a state meltdown in Venezuela. Although he has multiple degrees, he cannot work as that for which he is trained because he doesn’t have enough money to hurry along his application for work papers or citizenship if he wants it. He told me that you have to have money in order to do these things efficiently, and right now he doesn’t have it. So, he works 2 jobs day and night and has no time to even enjoy the money he’s earning. From his perspective, Ecuadorian society was much more reserved than Venezuelan; apparently in Venezuela, people chat and gossip and are much friendlier with each other. For him, Ecuadorians weren’t like that. He also hated the heat and eventually wants to move somewhere colder lol. He was in awe when I told him how cold New England is!

Something I’ve been struggling with today is where I fit in the matrix of Ecuadorian society. Being a white male westerner, I come to Ecuador with two sets of stereotypes attached to me. The first is that I’m wealthy, and as such I represent the legacy of colonialism, the crippling external debt Ecuador owes to many other countries, the sharp divide in material wealth between the global north and south, and the ongoing phenomenon of cultural exportation from the United States. At the same time, I am a target for robberies because of my perceived wealth. I am also just one more foreigner in this country; as such, I am also invisible, I take up hardly any space, I cannot take part in the political discourse of this country, and I have been told to minimize myself as much as possible to reduce the risk of being attacked. I feel that all this cultural baggage I bring with me is contradicting. I don’t quite know where I fit in the order of things, and I have had the privilege of not having to know this for most of my life. In the U.S., my presence and my body are buoyed by just about every social structure we have. Here in Ecuador, I may retain many of those privilege, yet they have been recast to include some feelings of marginalization I have never before experienced. I do not yet know how to reconcile this. But I tell you that I am constantly aware of others staring me down as I pass them on the street. I know that my every action has hundreds of possible witnesses. It is a disconcerting feeling; I feel like an alien. And lol that’s because I am. Yet how do I derive meaning from this knowing that at the same time, I am perhaps the poster child of the global north? I’ll keep you updated on this, because I feel it to be right at the heart of why I’m here in the first place.

Just a note on the pictures below. The first is a breathtaking shot of Cotopaxi, which rises over 19,000 feet above sea level! It’s one of the highest active volcanoes in the world. The second is the volcano of Pichincha, which demarcates the western edge of Quito. The volcanic peak is the one like dead center with the light-ish streak running down it. The last is a picture from a little bridge in La Carolina park in downtown Quito. I will definitely be coming here to hang out and enjoy the little nature escape in the middle of the city!

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

“Pick-Up Lines”

Summary: When Chuuya’s attempts to seduce Kajii with pick-up lines go right over his very literal-minded head, Chuuya decides to take a more direct approach

Notes: rare-pair day three, here it is! this is my first motojichuu fic and it was pretty fun to write about, if a bit exhausting to keep googling various sciencey things for kajii to talk about lol, this is just a fun, cute little fic for an adorable ship that needs more love, I hope you all enjoy this!

*****************************************************************************************************

Chuuya tapped his fingers on the table’s edge, watching Kajii gesture wildly in the throes of another story about some experiment or other and trying to find a break in the seemingly endless string of words where he might be able to start a conversation about something other than the many marvels of plutonium. Normally, Chuuya could listen to Kajii talk about his experiments all day; his enthusiasm and passion, not to mention the radiant, if slightly maniacal, smile on his face more than made up for the fact that Chuuya couldn’t understand a word he was saying, but today, Chuuya had something else in mind.

For the past few weeks, Chuuya had been dragging Kajii out to lunch at a cozy little soup restaurant a couple blocks from headquarters. Kajii was one of the mafia’s most brilliant scientists, but he fixated on his experiments to the detriment of all else, including his health. Stories of Kajii sleeping in his lab- or not sleeping at all- for days on end had percolated through the various ranks of the mafia before finally reaching Chuuya himself. As an executive, Chuuya was responsible for hundreds of subordinates, so it was only natural that he wouldn’t be able to properly care for all of them; however, Chuuya was nothing if not determined, so the moment he found out about an issue pertaining to any of his subordinates, he leapt into action. Now, whenever Chuuya was able, he made sure Kajii was eating at least one full meal a day and going home at a reasonable hour.

“He’s just like Akutagawa,” Chuuya thought to himself. “He’ll run himself to the ground if I don’t take care of him.”

Due to the nature of his job, Kajii was in significantly less danger than Akutagawa, and he was far more willing to accept Chuuya’s help while Akutagawa, true to form, responded like a sullen teenager. Chuuya had even tried to bring Akutagawa along for one of his lunches with Kajii once, but he had sulked in the corner of their booth the entire time, scowling and hardly speaking, slurping his soup in the most ill-mannered way imaginable. Still, at least he had eaten something- it very well could have been the only nourishment he had gotten in days.

There was another, vital difference between Kajii and Akutagawa; somehow or another, the eccentric scientist had stolen Chuuya’s heart, and Chuuya intended to win him over before he even had time to finish his soup.

While Kajii paused his monologue long enough to take a breath, Chuuya leaned across the table and lightly touched his hand. “Is the soup hot today, or is it just you?” he purred.

Kajii lifted his soup bowl to his mouth and took a slow sip, considering. “It’s the soup,” he said. Sighing, Kajii gazed down at his soup, forlorn. “If only I had a thermometer- then I could know the precise temperature in degrees centigrade.” Joy dawned on Kajii’s face. “Speaking of degrees centigrade-” Kajii launched into a lengthy description of the boiling points of his favorite  elements, beginning, naturally, with carbon which was, as Kajii explained, “The most fundamental element to human existence, the most marvelous element of them all!”

Chuuya watched Kajii wave his hands excitedly as he rhapsodized about elements and wondered if Kajii ever talked about him with half the excitement he used when discussing the boiling point of carbon. When Kajii stopped talking to take a sip of his soup, Chuuya took a deep breath.

“If I were an enzyme, I’d want to be helicase so I could unzip those jeans.”

“Helicase!” Kajii exclaimed, a dreamy look coming over his eyes. “My third favorite type of nuclease! Oh, are you talking about DNA or RNA helicase? It’s very important,” he added, waving his finger at Chuuya.

Chuuya blinked. “Um. . .” The mafia hadn’t exactly provided Chuuya with an in-depth scientific education; he had never even heard of RNA before. “DNA, I guess?”

Kajii seemed disappointed. “Oh, I much prefer RNA helicase- without it, ribosome biogenesis would be impossible.” He took a long sip of his soup, then, taking pity on Chuuya, added, “But DNA helicase is okay, I suppose. Just not as exciting. But, you know what’s really exciting?” he asked, brightening instantly. “Pre-mRNA splicing! You see, it all begins when-”

Chuuya was beginning to grow impatient; his time with Kajii was running out fast, and he needed to move quickly. He reached out and touched Kajii’s shoulder, then let his hand coast down Kajii’s arm, running his fingers along the tattered edge of his lab coat’s sleeve. “I like that lab coat of yours,” Chuuya murmured, fluttering his eyelashes. “But I think it’d look better accelerating to my floor at a rate of- of-” Chuuya paused, struggling to remember the scientific pick-up lines he had googled earlier. “- 9.8 meters per second.”

“Per second per second,” Kajii corrected.

“Huh?”

Kajii waved his hand. “Or 9.8 meters per second squared, if you prefer. Acceleration is measured in seconds squared; velocity might be measured in seconds, but certainly not acceleration!” He tilted his head to the side, regarding Chuuya from an angle. “I’d think you’d know all about that, since you’re a gravity manipulator.”

“Why would I?” Chuuya replied a bit defensively. “I know how to use my power- that’s all that matters, right?”

Kajii made a vague, disappointed sounding hum deep in his throat. “It’s not necessary,” he admitted, eyes downcast. “But it’s far more interesting. It seems like such a waste to have such a fascinating ability and not want to understand the scientific intricacies behind it.”

Chuuya cursed himself mentally. Why hadn’t he done some actual scientific research instead of just googling stupid pick-up lines? Besides, no matter what line he used, Kajii was sure to find some way to take it literally. Chuuya glanced at his clock: five minutes before he had to return to headquarters. Sighing, Chuuya decided to put the carefully planned lines aside and state his feelings as clearly as possible, leaving no room for more literal interpretations or scientific lectures.

Chuuya grabbed Kajii’s hand, holding it firmly in both of his. “Kajii,” he said, giving his hand a squeeze to get his attention. “Can you listen to me for a moment?”

Kajii nodded. “Okay.”

“I-” Chuuya took a deep breath. “I really care about you, you know. A lot.” He gave Kajii an awkward smile. “More than I care about my other subordinates, and in a different way. I wanted to ask if maybe you wanted to, I don’t know. . .” Chuuya ran a hand through his hair. “Get dinner some time? Like, you know, as a date?”

“A date?” Kajii’s eyes widened. “I’ve never been on one before. Should I bring you flowers? What species of angiosperm would you prefer? The genus rosa is typical of course, but genus lilium is lovely as well- such a pronounced stigma! Very advantageous for pollen distribution, and-”

“So you do want to go on a date with me?” Chuuya asked.

Kajii seemed surprised by the question. “Of course I do! You’re, well. . .” Kajii flushed. “If you were an element, you’d be carbon.”

Chuuya could feel himself blushing, too. He leaned across the table to give Kajii a hug. “I think you’re carbon, too.” He pulled away, digging in his pockets for change to leave as a tip. “We should be getting back to base soon,” he said, walking around the table to link arms with Kajii. “But while we’re headed that way, can you tell me what’s so interesting about genus lilium?”

Kajii’s face lit up. “I’m so glad you asked!”

[idontlikethisaccount]

Her.

Based on the writing prompt, "Every 100,00 years, God restarts the universe, including mankind. Last time, God started with Adam and Eve. This time, God starts with two new people. The problem, however, is that you've somehow managed to survive the reset, and keep all your memories. Additionally, it appears that you've stopped aging entirely."

~~~

From behind a tree of what I had quickly learned was the garden of Aiden, I watched the couple meet. There were some similarities. The trees were still filled with apples, only they were pink. There were flowers that seemed like prehistoric lilacs, next to vibrant teal ones with no name. The world seemed more saturated, more colorful, slightly more square. But the biggest change was from the two people only a couple meters away. Their leaves didn't need to be on their chests. One was muscular, the other thin and scrawny. Their tails swung gently under them. One of them glanced in my direction, and I hid away. The feeling of being watched didn't leave as he looked away. As I realized just what having two men in the garden meant, a shrieky voice rang out. "ALPHA ADAM AND BETA STEVE, SONS OF GOD." The voice declared. "THOU SHALL BRING UPON THE NEW WORLD. UWU." I clamped my hand over my mouth, trying not to scream. "UwU." They said back. I had to hear them say that. I had to watch Li'l Cider get Steve to bite into the apples, which turned out to be the most primal form of drug. The world hated me. It sounded like God was a 13-year old girl. I wanted to die. But as the years went on, I found I simply couldn't.

~~~

The good thing about being immortal was that I couldn't die. If I broke through skin, there was something like a barrier underneath. During my darkest times, I sat and watched that translucent barrier shimmer in the night before my skin quickly regenerated. The bad thing about being immortal was that I couldn't die. It was so lonely. I couldn't get on Noah's arc - one family per species, he said. I watched the unicorns pile in in my place. Instead, I had a rickety little boat. Halfway through the purge, a wave pushed me off. I breathed in water on purpose. It was agony, but only for a bit. The world looked so pretty under the waves. I stayed down there for a couple weeks.

~~~

I watched Jesus cry on the giant cross, a capitalized T this time around. The guard look at the sun, sweat dripping into his prismarine armor. A man glanced at me, and I tightened the shawl around me head. I nervously scratched at my aching binder. I had to pass, or else they'd find out. I had already become an outcast for not having a tail, or the right ears. But if they knew I was the only girl in a literal world of men . . . I don't know what would happen then. I watched the guard check the sun again, declare it had been 30 minutes, then take Jesus out of his timeout. I wanted to go home so badly I shook a little. 

~~~

I didn't breathe anymore. I didn't have to. I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was John, my friend for this century. "Michael," he started, obviously nervous. "You are a being shrouded with mystery. You share no tales, you hint no clues. And yet here you stand, with no tail nor role to your name, yet ageless beauty. And though I am paralyzed, I must speak the truth. I wish to love you, Michael."

I looked out, gazing across the indigo ocean from the S.S.South. It was not my first confession, nor would it be my last. I always ended up doing the same thing.

"You mortals are fascinating. You live so slow, yet so fast. Your love is quick, yet eternal. Your deaths are sudden, and they have no purpose. You make meaning out of nothing. Amazing."

Yes. I pull some vampire romance bs out of my butt while giving a grim smile.

Luckily, John let out a nervous laugh. Hopefully he was having second thoughts. "S-surely you jest?"

I laughed too, and grabbed my buckled hat out of instinct. "Perhaps. My world is one of fantasy. But I cannot accept your confession. There is only one person whose love I must gain. I don't know if I shall ever find her."

"Her?"

"Yes, her." I hesitated. You'd think that after being alive for thousands of years, I'd remember some words didn't exist anymore. "it's an . . . Ancient word. From my hometown. It means "the one I love". I apologise, but you are not her."

He nodded, big ears drooping, and turned away. I didn't move for a second, but saw a man glanced at me and quickly looked back out into the ocean. I had definitely thought about having a purpose. But with the literal child of the Justice clothing store and furry fanfiction running the town (did I mention the boat was pink?), It seemed pretty slim that that was the case. Especially since there was no such thing as "her." Still, it was nice to think about.

~~~

I denied being a witch. I knew no matter how much skin they scorched off, I'd be fine. But I wanted to see how far they would go. I fought the special red-and-white striped rope bonds a little, grinning. I had reverted back to an edgy way of living, just in time for the warlock trials. Even better, in this timeline, it was universal, and I was actually pretty sure warlocks were real. Maybe I was a warlock - well, a witch, - and I just hadn't realized my powers yet. I heard whispers and shouts as I passed by.

"I heard Cider himself cut off his tail!"

"What are those things on his head?"

"Neither alpha not beta . . . "

"Always an outcast, always a warlock!"

I stepped up onto the wood, smiling. A hundred or more eyes stared up at me as I was bound to a pole. I smiled; I hadn't had this many eyes on me since before the first Armageddon. They lit the match. And then there was screaming. From them, from me. I felt every lick of flame. It was only when I felt something near my chest snap that faintly I realized my mistake through the mind-numbing pain. My badly made binder had broken. If they saw through the flames, they would be able to see that I'm wronger than they ever thought. I struggled through my rope ties, surely scaring everyone around me. The second I felt them loosen, I ran.

~~~

When someone is so utterly suicidal that they would gladly jump into extraordinarily deadly situations just because it felt nice, war seemed like the perfect choice. I took bullets like they were little spitballs being thrown my way. I treated myself like little more than a fleshy punching bag. I made excuses as to why I was still alive, why it took me so long to realize we were retreating, why I seemed to have a death wish. I was able to laugh it off. I kept fabric over my ears, a homemade binder on my chest, and a hole in my heart at all times. As I ran in front of someone to feel pain spread from my arm, I never wished more for that dumb kid in the sky to kill me.

~~~

I sat in my room, drunkenly looking at the small pile of pages in front of me. When I first came to this world, I had grabbed a bit of charcoal and tree bark, and I wrote down as much as I could remember. As the centuries passed on, they were written and rewritten, edited constantly to make more of a story than a documentary. Constantly getting longer and longer as I quickly realized just how much a person's mind wasn't supposed to handle so much memory. And there they were. I thought about my bad job. I thought about my broken, dinky little apartment. I thought about me. And I grabbed my age-old computer and started to write.

~~~

I was at a book signing, my fears about being found out stuck in the back of my head. I called my ears a mutation, my lack of tail a birth defect. I questioned my sanity, wondering if they were really just that. I wrote the hole in my heart into pages of writing, and came out with a "fantasy" where the world was slightly different, and they all looked like me. I wrote a series on that topic. I wrote stories about aliens and existentialism, and the people loved it. I called up the next in line.

"You're Her."

"Hmm? Yes, that's my pen name."

"No. You're Her. It means the one I love."

My face blanched. I hadn't written that in my books.

I signed three more guys, and then went for lunch with him.. His name was Jackson, and he told me he had seen paintings of us together. He had read his great-something grandfather John's diary. He read about Her. He didn't think I was real. I said I wasn't sure if I was either. We laughed and talked a bit more. After listening to me for a bit, he told me whether I had been alive for hundreds of years or not, I should get a therapist. I agreed. We never spoke again.

~~~

I kept nervously checking my phone. Today was the day. After thousands of years of contact, it was finally the same day everyone died. I don't know why I kept track of the date, but I was pretty sure today was the Armageddon day. I chose a nice spot in the park, being as close to nature as one could get in the city. And I waited. And waited. People walked past. A dog sniffed at me. The warmth of the sun made me tired, and I started drifting away.

The sound of someone sitting down startled me awake. It was a guy with shaggy hair and a big sunhat, watching the pond in front of us with a little grin on his face. A little strange, but seeing as I existed, it wasn't too bad. 

"Lovely afternoon, isn't it?"

"I Guess."

"I love to come watch the sunsets, though it hasn't started yet."

I gave him a look. "Uh-huh."

"Wish I had brought a book with me, or some birdseed, but-"

I held up a hand. "Look, did you need anything? I'm in the middle of being stood up by the universe."

He stopped his chattering and looked at me, confused. "What were you waiting for?"

"Armageddon."

"Ah." Surprisingly, he just nodded and looked back towards the pond. I left soon after.

Armageddon didn't happen.

~~~

I came back the next week. He was there.

"I feel like I've seen before. On a boat or something."

I laughed at that. "You haven't. It's been ages since I was on a boat."

"It's been ages for me too."

"I've been off longer. Promise."

~~~

I jumped as the man tapped my hand. I yanked it away as fast as physically possible.

"Don't touch me."

 The man raised his hands apologetically. "Sorry! I just wanted to ask you something."

I rubbed my arm, my skin screaming. Touch starvation was real, kiddos. "Well you can do it without touching me?"

"Why are you so angry?"

I paused, then sighed a little. Time for more vampire novels. ". . . I know it doesn't look like it, but I've been alive for a very long time. And I haven't been treated nicely during that time." I hesitated. That was probably too much information. "Nothing too bad, but still. At this point I think I'm just lonely." I looked over, faking a little grin. "Plus, I was really hoping for that Armageddon thing."

The man let out a barely-there chuckle. It didn't seem genuine, though. "What about you?" I asked.

He looked startled, but smiled after a moment. "Well, I'm not really angry, but I'm kind of sad. I've been alive longer than you, and it's been . . . tiring. Too many things have happened to too many people. It's too easy to lose faith in humanity." It got quiet.

Time for a mood change. "You haven't lived longer than me." 

He sighed. "Believe me, I have."

Yeah, right. "Try me. Age?"

"Uh, e-eighty seven!" I gave him a look, then burst out laughing.

"No you're not! You look like your 20-something!"

He huffed, but started to grin." Well then, what about you, junior?"

"Oh, you wanna fight? I've been alive since the beginning of time!"

"Hah! As if!"

"I have! I was in the Garden of Aiden, I saw the two holy losers we call our ultimate grandparents!"

"Uh-huh. Sure."

I threw up my hands "I have!"

"Well, if you've really lived for thousands of years, then it must get lonely. How about a friend?" I must've had a look, because he quickly continued. "Or at least a name? I can't keep calling you 'random guy' in my head."

Screw it. He could be this century's friend. For however long it lasts. I held out a hand. ". . . Um, sure. For both. I'm Michael. Just Michael."

He shook it happily. "Sarah Worth."

"Weird name."

"Yeah, it's a family name."

"Cool." I wondered where he came from. I had never heard of a name that feminine before.

~~~

It became a trend. I threw out some birdseed. "Here's a fun fact: Michael's actually a cover name. I got it back during the creation of America. It's been so long since I've heard my actual name that I've forgotten what I used to be called."

Sarah looked at me, impressed. "Wow. You have a lot of stories, don't you?"

"As I've said. I've lived a long time." 

A look crossed his face for a second. "Um. Do you have a number? I'd love to hear more over some coffee." Oh no.

"I . . . I don't know."

"You don't have a phone?"

"No, I . . . I know it's weird that I keep saying I've lived forever and stuff, but it's true enough. And I haven't ever hooked up with someone, because I don't want to watch them die. I've always left friends after a couple of years so I didn't have to watch them die. I don't want to watch you die." It got quiet.

He almost grabbed my hand, but stopped and set it on the bench instead. "It doesn't have to be forever. It'll be a long, long time before I, or any other friends you have die. And I . . . I- it doesn't have to be a date. Just . . . A scenery change. Okay?"

I stared Sarah down, thinking. Then I nodded. "You know what? Sure."

~~~

I decided, after a while, that Sarah was Her. I decided after it became official, after hundreds of dates, after she moved in with me. Even a century later she was still Her.

"Hey, I'm gonna start calling you Shelly cause you need a girl name." She mumbled in her sleep once.

"Oh my God I love you."

~~~

There was fire. Screaming. The very familiar sense of boiling hot, creamy pain as the world was cast into the sun. And then . . .

~~~

They called it the Empire this time, despite it still being a garden. They weren't apples this time, either, but some weird, lumpy purple things, like if grapes and strawberries had a child. It seemed as though I would really live forever. I was crushed at first. And then I wasn't.

"Do you think there'll be more?" I asked Sarah from up on the wall barrier.

"Maybe. Probably. I mean, I was here a world before you."

"Let's try to find them."

We watched two figures step into partial view. It was hard to see, but I was pretty sure I saw a vague outline of a woman. And a tail. Good enough for me.

There was a flash of red in one of the back corners, but when my head snapped over, it was gone. Probably nothing. I nudged Sarah.

"Hey, you think I could try to shapeshift into something? Like- like a snake?" 

She gave me the Look. "Are you really gonna try at being a devil?"

"Hey, we're immortal. Maybe we're more than that. Just let me try. Please babe. Please."

She glared at my puppy eyes, then groaned  "You are insufferable."

I kissed her cheek and stood up giddily. "Love ya too, babe."

I jumped off the wall excitedly, trying to think really hard about how much I wanted to be a snake. I hoped my girlfriend thought it was amusing. And as I heard the deep voice of the new God of the world, I decided that wherever we were, whatever was happening, it was good enough for me.

[sailorrrvenus]

How Many Animals Were Harmed in the Making of This Camera Film?

While scanning through my Facebook feed, I saw that my friend Ruby had shared some pictures of a party, all taken on Kodak Ultramax. One of her friends, however, pointed out something that I had never thought of…

Ruby is a vegan, and film is not a vegan product. Film is made of gelatin, which, as you may know, is a product of animal bones.

Ruby admitted being ignorant of this sin and confessed on the spot. But she replied that while there was no vegan alternative in film at the moment, there was research into finding a vegan replacement. This triggered my cynicism alarm — film had been manufactured the same way for almost a century and with film sales at one of the lowest points in history, I didn’t see Kodak or Fuji pouring money into expensive R&D to make a few vegans happy.

I Googled “film with no gelatin”.

The first result was a PETA article (which I’m assuming is the post that she found) that states:

Unfortunately, we do not know of any film that is made without gelatin. Over the years, PETA has pressured film manufacturers to find a gelatin substitute, and while Kodak and Fuji have researched non-animal alternatives, they still claim that they cannot replace animal gelatin in film…

With a bit more Internet sleuthing, I came across an article by Mirko Böddecker of the German film company ADOX that seems to have been written in response to the PETA one. It’s difficult for me to take just one quote from the piece because it’s so succinct and directly answers every question I had to ask. To paraphrase:

Film is not vegan, it never will be, and alternatives to gelatin have already been investigated in the 50s and 60s and did not work. However, gelatin is probably also the best option in terms of sustainability, as it bio-degrades and its production is essentially the recycling of dead animals.

Here’s what Böddecker writes:

Gelatin is manufactured from skeletons of dead animals, yes, but after all animals will die at a certain point and for sure no animals are killed especially for making gelatin. Rather they are killed for their meat and byproducts arise in large amounts. Not eating meat really helps you in achieving your goals of reducing human cattle raising, but not using film will have no impact at all.

The photographic industry today is so unimportant that we are using less than 1/1,000,000,000 of the animal byproducts which arise from the meat industry.

The amount of gelatin used to make film is tiny:

W”e are coating with about 3-9 grams per square meter, which equals 16 films,” Böddecker writes. “So the bones of one dead horse can deliver enough gelatin for tens of thousands of films.”

I worked at probably one of the busiest, if not the busiest, labs in Australia. On a good month, we would scan maybe 1,500 rolls of film, and that is including re-scans of old rolls. Conservatively estimating (let’s just assume “tens of thousands” is 20,000 thousand), one horse would give us all gelatin for all the film we processed with plenty left over for our end of year Aspic cookoff:

If only it came more than just once a year… Photo by Anthony Georgeff and licensed under CC BY 2.0.

So to think ecologically, though (as in the entire film development process), let’s start with the principal developing chemical in the C-41 process, which is p-phenylenediamine. Phenylenediamine, in addition to being hard to pronounce (glad this is an article and not a video), is considered an allergen by the EPA. The profile of the chemical, states that in a study on rats, it caused a suppression of appetite and decreased body weights but no other clinical signs of toxicity where recorded.

I wouldn’t want to take a bath in C-41 developer, for sure, but as long as I’m careful not to get it on my skin or eyes, I’m not too concerned about my long-term exposure to it. As far as long-term ecological impact goes, I would assume they are relatively minor. There are plenty of worse chemicals that are used in photographics. Phenylenediamine developer seems to be one of the least harmful in comparisons with bromine-based ones, which are highly toxic and hard to dispose of.

The fixing/bleaching chemicals, on the other hand, are a bit of a different story. Ammonium thiosulfate is more toxic — it can cause serious skin irritation (it’s bleach) and its exposure to the ammonia gas that evaporates off it can cause problems to liver function. The biggest problem with blix (bleach and fixer) is that it also strips the silver nitrate off the film, and silver can be very toxic. On the other hand, every photographic lab that I know of uses a silver recovery machine, so the silver is recycled and sold back to chemical processors.

Film production and development is not an environmentally pure process by any length of the imagination; it’s hard to think of any industrial process that is. But it shouldn’t keep you awake at night thinking of all the animals that are murdered for the sake of printing your holiday snaps or that portrait for Grandma’s coffin.

If anything, you should feel sanctimonious about it (provided you’re not shooting film with a disposable camera) because film cameras are old, recycled, and generally have a much greater life expectancy than any digital camera.

CCD and CMOS sensors are made out of rare earth materials, that are generally mined in Sub-Saharan Africa under oppressive regimes. The manufacture of these components is also largely done by China, which has very little environmental regulation or waste management schemes in place, and shipped across the seas in large tanker ships and then expected to be replaced by a new model in as a little as a year.

I would argue that there are pretty strong reasons to shoot film if you have any concern about the environment or animal welfare if you have to shoot anything at all. Not that I’m giving up my digital camera any time soon. You’d have to take that from my cold, dead, horses hooves.

About the author: James Cater is a digital and analog photographer, film lab operator, and model. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. You can find more of Cater’s work on his website and Instagram. This article was also published here.

source https://petapixel.com/2018/12/03/how-many-animals-were-harmed-in-the-making-of-this-camera-film/

[travellingthoughts]

Friday the 7th of July 2017

After 4 days in Zakynthos/Kefalonia I was on a journey and a half to Larissa. Literally travelled by boat, car, taxi and bus over an 11 hour journey. I loved it though because I could just relax after being so busy in Zakynthos. Anyone who knows me well knows that I literally sleep my life away! I can sleep at what ever time, in whatever position and literally be out cold. It certainly has come in handy on this trip I'll tell you that much! So I slept the entire journey no problems asked. In Larissa, I was staying with Jamie's Nouna, Dina, for the week! Larissa is a relatively large town north of Athens. It has it all; amazing shopping, lively night life, and most importantly lovely people. I have a LOT of family there like legit we sat down to have dinner and two of my cousins (which I didn't know I had) just happened to walk past! I spent my first couple of days getting a tattoo (which was an awesome and sentimental experience) and roaming around Larissa doing some shopping and discovering. However on the third day I woke up ill as fuck. Like my stomach was in so much pain so I kept going to bed thinking that I'll wake up feeling better.... which never happened. Ended up realising at 8:30pm at night that it just wasn't to happen and finally got out of bed. After that it's a bit of a blur because my SISTERS GOT OUT OF A TAXI AND SURPRISED THE FUCK OUT OF ME IN GREECE!!!!!! Oh my god it was fkn wild, I literally had no clue they were coming. About a week before this happened I was on the phone telling them to just book their fkn tickets and come and lie with my on a beach somewhere in Santorini. Little did I know the bitches were muting themselves on our phone call and laughing because they HAD ALREADY BOOKED THEIR TICKETS 😆 The joke was clearly on me! Check out on Facebook the video of my jaw literally hitting the floor, the swearing, the scream and the many cuddles that were shared when this all unfolded! What an incredible experience to be able to share such an amazing journey with two of my bestest friends. I still pinch my self when I get their phone call in the morning saying 'what are we doing today?' ☺️ In all seriousness though, thank the lord they have me because A) they were fighting within the first 5 minutes of arriving in Mykonos, B) they are weak as shit and can't carry 25kgs up 50 stairs so I had to do it FOR BOTH OF THEM and C) they have no clue what they're doing so I am pretty much their personal tour guide 🙃 We have already had so many laughs and fun times, and I know these are memories that will last a lifetime. Anyway back to Larissa. It turned out I had fkn drunk the water by accident in Zakynthos and became sick as a fkn dog for the next 6 days. Literally whatever went down my throat came out again within maximum 5 minutes. Couldn't keep anything in my stomach, not even water. As shitty (pun intended) as being sick was, I definitely was very lucky to have my sisters constantly checking up on me and the fact that I was with my family who went above and beyond to get me on the road to recovery. Wouldn't have had it any other way. So my fun in Larissa ended after Tez and Jays arrived 😂 We did go to Karditsa, Farsala and Stomio to see more family which was fantastic. The girls went to Thessaloniki as well but I didn't make it because I was still really sick. Before I knew it (...literally because I had slept my life away!!) we were on our way to Piraeus which is one of the main ports of Greece. Conveniently, Terri's Nona lives there with her family so we stayed for a night before catching the 7am ferry to Mykonos the next day. That night was so much fun, we went for a stroll around town and went to Haagen-Daaz for some waffles and icecream! It wasn't what we did but it was the amazing company we had 😍 The 7am kick off to get to Mykonos was interesting 😂 As per usual we were running late and how we made it on that boat is fkn beyond me. The ride consisted of Terri not allowing me to fall asleep because everything single time I almost did, she would tickle my nose or something ridiculous. Could have punched her square in the face but decided that wasn't the best idea...so I made her buy me a hot chocolate which cost 5.80€ 😂 Our first impression of Mykonos is that it's fucking stunning. Whatever image comes to your head (crystal clear beaches with white houses on hills) is EXACTLY what it was like. However we were fortunate enough to discover the island from North to South and East to West. We hired a car and I, the driver, officially banned Terri from being in the front seat because she almost pulled the handbrake on me twice ❌ While the main town looks picturesque, the rest is actually quite hilly, rocky, windy and underdeveloped. It was astonishing to see the island for what it really is, with some of the most amazing beaches and hidden gems we would have only discovered by hiring that car. Highly suggest it... however there is a funny story that comes along with that 😂 So Greeks drive like fucking crazy okay. That's the perfect and only intro you need into this story. I was going down a really narrow and windy road when another car comes speeding around a corner (how the fuck they didn't spin out idk?) and is pretty much in my lane now still going fast. So I slam on the brake (dirt road btw so skidded instead of halted) and pulled over. In the process, I marked the car with about a 2.5cm BLACK scratch on a WHITE CAR. I was gutted because I knew they were going to notice it when we returned the car and that they were going to charge me a fuck tonne for it. So we go to the damn beach we were driving to when this happened and were then driving to the next beach when I spot a fucking mechanics (and probably the only one on the island) and swerve in like James Bond. And can I say I had luck just like James Bond! I'm trying to communicate in Greek to this guy and he is literally laughing at me stressing #bitch. He tells me to wait a minute and before I know he comes back with a cloth and some charcoal coloured substance. I freak out even more because like I said it's a white car and I'm thinking that he will make it worse #lenthinkingsheknowseverything. He rubs it on the car and then like magic before my eyes, the mark was gone. I literally told him that I love him and that he saved my life and that he is the best person to walk this earth. And before I could even finish we were back on our way dancing like absolute idiots out of pure joy 🙃 Mykonos is by far my favourite island out of the 3; including Ios and Santorini. It is absolutely stunning by day and night, the beaches are crystal clear and is good for a great boogie. My only fault is that it's expensive as fuck. But so so worth it. I met some amazing people in my dorm (you know who you are) and proceeded to go out until the AM partying and bar (that did just get autocorrected to bae) hoping. We had so much luck that night because every place we went to we were treated like royalty. Skipped the lines, skipped the entry fee, got given free shots and drinks. It was to die for 😍 The night ended with Souvlaki's and a really drunk walk home 😂 Next stop was Ios. I fkn loved Ios for its party scene. I FROTH a good time and that's the vibe that Ios had. Funny story: when we rocked up by bus at FarOut I was laughing because we saw teeny ass canvas tents and I said 'that would suck if you had to stay in one of them'. Before I know it I received my keys and found my... MOTHERFUCKING TENT FML 😫 Don't know how I fucked up so bad but like legit this thing had a door that was just about off its hinges, a "window" that was made of a holy mesh (mosquito friendly which means Eleni says ❌❌❌), and beds that should have been bought by a massage parlour. The girls (who at least booked a place with aircon and walls) weren't happy with their room either, so we upgraded to a villa with three beds and a bathroom! Fuck yessssssss! Life in Ios was pretty sweet after the accomodation sitch was sorted. We didn't do much exploring like we did in Mykonos. Partying by day and night was the plan ✔️ Met some sick chickens whilst partying, and also spent loads of time with Jack, Yianni, Emma, Jess and Amy who we knew from home. Bar crawls and wet t-shirt contests were (regrettably) attended. Let's just say... anyone who went on that stage in the wet tshirt comp would have needed a deadly amount of alcohol and a few types of drugs to morally get through. Other then partying double parked, time was spent on the beach or by the pool soaking up grecian rays ☀️ Then came the biggest disappointment that is Santorini. I should have never expected anything and that's why I feel let down. The white walls you see everyone taking photos of are pretty much only in Oia which is ridiculously expensive. It's the place to supposedly see the sunset but what you don't expect is thousands of tourists trying to get through streets which are 2 meters wide. Forget the balcony or castle where people take sunset pictures from. It is gorgeous though minus the tourists. However a positive is that they do have an entire street of clubs and bars so when you get bored at one, the next isn't too far away ☺️ Fira, another town close by where we stayed, was nice and lively but the streets in the centre couldn't compare to Mykonos'. As I'm writing this my time in the Greek islands is up. I'm on a ferry which came 1.5 hours late (welcome to Greek time...it's legit a thing) and is so rocky I think I'm going over board. My next few days include Athens with my Nouna and Nono. Going to take my sisters around to see some sights and then will go to The Ranch (where my god brother works) and say our final goodbyes :( So excited for my family's cuddles and kisses 😍 It's a good night from me xx P.S- wish me luck because the boat is about to tip P.P.S - I can't swim or even doggy paddle. P.P.P.S- the last PPS reminds me of another LOL- in Santorini, the girls and I did a tour to the volcano, thermal springs, Thirasia and Oia. When we reached the hot springs, which is literally in the middle of the ocean next to the rocks, Jamie and I thought it would be a fabulous idea to suss it out. So we jumped off the boat into the water and the waves were going over our heads. We start laughing (out of pure panic) because we can't swim for shit and it made trying to battle the waves so much harder. We looked at eachother whilst all of this was going on and knew what we were both thinking; that we are going to drown. I told Jamie to calm down and just keep your body afloat. Anyway, we clearly made the 200m distance back to the boat because I'm writing this now P.P.P.P.S - don't tell my mum that last story because I'll cop an ear full 😂