#but today was so good dame for the start of this week

[tarnishedrage]

best way of doing it is prepping the cal limit very low with stuff while not hungry, logging it all in, and then eating it like planned as if i just eat that little spontaneously. then i have some leeway, and i can expect what to eat.

[so-much-for-stardust6]

You’re My True Love- Damon Albarn

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summary: your best friend damon confesses to you out of nowhere to which you sort of panic about. after not speaking for weeks, you finally realize how you truly feel about him.

lowercase intended

warnings: none (at least i don’t think)

a/n: i’ve had this idea sitting in my notes app but now i’ve finally written it 🙏 once again i wrote this at 3am and proof read it at 5am so pls bare with me

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damon albarn. a very unforgettable name. the name of my best friend. we’ve been best friends since high school and life has only brought us closer. our love for music is what bonded us in the first place, so it makes sense that he’d start his own band named blur. i’ve been his number one supporter since day one. we’re like two peas in a pod. but maybe damon wanted to be more. i finished the last touches to my outfit, smiling at myself in the mirror when i decided i looked good. damon asked to hang out today, saying he needed to tell me something. i figure it’s about his band like how his usual news would be. i grab my keys and head out my door, making sure it’s locked before leaving my apartment building. getting into my crappy old car and driving to the meeting spot felt like a blur (no pun intended) since i arrived quickly.

i see damon’s figure sitting at a table outside this cafe we always go to, sipping what i assume is tea. i get out my car, quietly walking up behind him to surprise him. i place my hands over his eyes, causing him to jump at the sudden touch.

“hey you.” i say.

“hello, y/n. figured that was you.” he chuckled, turning his head to look at me.

“ordered already?” i ask while sitting down across from him.

“just this tea, i’m waiting for you.”

“such a gentleman.” i giggle.

i pick up the menu and scan the lunch options, finally landing on getting a simple blt.

“so anything new with the band? is that what you called me here for?”

“uh, not exactly.” he awkwardly scratches the back of his head.

i raise an eyebrow in confusion.

“did something bad happen? are you okay?”

“yes, i’m okay. it’s nothing bad. well, it just depends on how you feel about it.”

“oh come on dames, spit it out already. can’t keep a girl waiting.” i joke.

“i’m in love with you.”

my smile immediately falls and i sit there process his words. in love with me? he stared back at me, thinking on how he wants to bash his head in at his confession that he knew he should’ve kept secret.

“y/n…?” he whispers, trying to catch my attention.

i was zoned out at this point, trying to look back at memories of us and assume when his love for me started.

“you’re in love with me?”

“yeah, i am. i-i’m sorry, i know it’s weird for me to feel this way but i can’t help it. you just complete me perfectly.”

i stay silent again, still dissecting his words. i lightly tremble at his words, not knowing how to react.

“i have a boyfriend, damon.”

“that’s exactly why i didn’t want to confess. but my love for you has grown so much recently and i needed to tell you before we leave for tour.”

“stop saying that word.”

“what word?”

“love.”

a look of heartbreak flashed across his face, sitting back in his seat to look at me.

“i-i gotta go. i can’t do this right now.” i suddenly spoke up.

i was quick to scoot out my chair and book it to my car, leaving a hollering damon behind. i heard him call out my name but i ignored him. i shakily opened my car door, stumbling inside. i even dropped my eyes onto the floor as i tried to start the car, my nerves at an all time high. i sped out the parking lot and on my way back home, leaving my seatbelt off. i don’t even know why i did that, i regret doing that. it was all just so sudden, he didn’t even sugarcoat it. my best friend is in love with me. what the fuck?

it’s been a few weeks since the whole scene happened. i’ve tried to ring damon and apologize but he never picked up. i even tried stopping by his place but he was never home when i came. it was 5pm as i sat in my apartment’s kitchen, sipping my tea while reading some book my cousin suggested to me. i was paying no attention to the man i called my boyfriend who was causing a ruckus. he came over to go out but i informed him that i’d rather stay in, something he was against. after trying to convince me to go out and me saying ‘no’ every time, he finally gave in and stayed in with me. but with him being the type of guy to pick out every flaw he saw, he ran around my apartment and rearranged things. he claimed his “interior designer” side was coming out.

i was quite annoyed to say the least, just wanting to relax today but now dealing with an idiot ruining my decor. i don’t understand why i was putting up with him anyways, i could easily kick him out. suddenly, the phone rang which caused me to jump and slightly choke on my tea. i coughed as i head towards the phone, hoping to beat my boyfriend in grabbing it.

“hello?” i speak out, voice cracking a bit.

“hey y/n, it’s me graham.”

“oh hello! what’s up?”

“who’s that?” my boyfriend comes storming into the living room.

“my friend.” i whisper, covering the microphone.

“which friend?”

“can you go away, i’m trying to have a conversation.” becoming annoyed with him very quickly.

“hello?”

“yeah, sorry, i’m here. what’s going on?”

“i just wanted to let you know that we leave for tour tonight around 1. i know that you and damon haven’t spoken in a couple weeks but maybe you’d want to see him?”

“i don’t know gra, i don’t think he wants to see me. i feel so guilty on how i reacted, i just didn’t know how to take in the new information i got.”

“i understand, y/n. think it over, okay? the van picking us up is gonna stop at my place last, if you wanna stop by.”

“i’ll think about it. thank you, graham. i really appreciate it.”

“of course, y/n. bye bye.”

“bye.” i hang up the phone.

“graham? is that a guy?”

“can you just stop? he’s a FRIEND. nothing more.” i walk past him to go sit back down.

“that’s what they all say.”

“well maybe try to think that i’m not like everyone else.” i sip my tea.

he says something back but i’ve already tuned him out. after 30 minutes or so of him ranting on about whatever, he finally left. i let out a breath of relief, the reason for my headache gone. i stand up and head towards my room to get ready for a shower. i pick out some random bedtime clothes to wear, my eyes landing on one of damon’s shirt. it was a summer night and we decided to go to this lake for a nice swim. it wasn’t so nice when my swimsuit top got lost in the water somehow. so being the gentleman he is, damon lended me his shirt and i guess i just never gave it back. the smile i wore on my face was a sad one, the thought of damon and i’s friendship being ruined all because of my stupidity.

i shake away those thoughts and go shower, something i desperately need. afterwards, i decided a nice relaxing movie night with wine would finish this night off perfectly. i plopped the vhs in and sat on the couch with a glass of wine. my mind kept thinking back to moments where i watched the movie with damon, laughing loudly at the scenes. my heart ached as i kept thinking of damon. i was able to finish the movie and wine, deciding to call it an early night. after shutting the tv and lights off and locking all the windows and door, i settled down in bed. it didn’t take long for me to snooze off. suddenly, i woke up on a familiar couch in a familiar place.

“good morning, sleepyhead.” damon’s voice rang out.

“damon? how’d i get here?”

“what do you mean? you stayed the night, silly.” he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“b-but i was in my own room?”

“thinking about me again, huh?” he smirked his infamous smirk.

“how’d you know?”

“cause this is a dream. and i’m obviously in your head, so i can see what you think of. why are you thinking so much of me? you were the one who ran off that day.” he leaned against the doorway of the kitchen.

“i-i don’t know..”

“that’s not a real answer. look deep inside your heart, y/n/n.”

“well, i feel guilty. i feel guilty for leaving you alone. i don’t know why i did it.”

“you clearly do.”

“i do?”

“what do you keep thinking of.”

“old memories.”

“and how do they make you feel?”

“fuzzy inside. they make me smile when i see you smile. it makes me want to see you smile again.”

“what else, love?”

“oh don’t call me that, you know how it makes me feel.”

“and describe how it makes you feel.” his words guiding me.

“it makes me feel all giddy inside. my stomach goes crazy with butterflies. like i like it. actually, i love it.”

“what else do you love?”

“you.” i blurt out.

my eyes widen at the realization. it all makes sense, the sudden thoughts of him and the stomach flips.

“i’m in love with you too, damon.” i look up at him.

“don’t tell me that. go tell real damon that, silly.” he chuckled, sipping his coffee.

“shit! they leave tonight, i gotta wake up.”

and so i did, my eyes shooting open. i quickly sat up in bed, turning my head to look at the clock that read 12:37am.

“shit!”

i stumble out of bed, struggling to find socks to put on. i didn’t care about my pajamas, i just needed to see him. i slip on my shoes and ran towards the door. but i made a quick pit stop by my phone.

“hello?” my boyfriends voice rang out on the other side.

“hey, it’s me. i just wanted to call real quick to say that i’m breaking up with you. it isn’t working out and i don’t see us progressing in the future. i gotta go but i’m very sorry.” i then hung up before he could even speak. i ran up to my door, making sure to grab my keys on the little table next to it. the sound of my phone ringing made me grimace, sorry but i cannot answer.

i ran down to my car, speeding off again with no seatbelt. my brain struggled as i tried to remember graham’s address, i’ve only been a couple times. i finally reach a familiar street and see his house. a breath of relief left my mouth as i saw a van still parked outside. i parked very crappy but i didn’t care. i rush out my car, looking both ways before running across the street.

“alex! alex!” i call out to the bassist.

“y/n? what are you doing here?”

“i need to see damon.”

“uh, he’s inside with graham. wha-“

“great thank you!” i cut him off.

i didn’t hesitate to run inside, seeing suitcases at the door. two voices echoed from upstairs, assuming that they’re damon and graham.

i run upstairs, all the running causing me to be out of breath. i make it to graham’s room where they’re both at. they don’t notice me standing in the doorway as they spoke.

“so, i told y/n to come tonight.”

“what? why?”

“you guys need to talk.”

“she doesn’t want to talk to me. she hates me because i’m in love with her. she’ll continue to hate me cause i can’t change how i feel about her.”

“she said she tried calling you, mate.”

“i-i felt embarrassed to talk to her again. hearing her voice again would do things to me and if she hates me then it’d make things worse.”

“i don’t hate you.” i spoke up.

the two boys whip their heads to look at me.

“y/n..”

“damon i’m so sorry. i-i don’t know why i left that day. it was just so sudden and my brain couldn’t comprehend that you feel that way towards me.”

“i’m gonna go.” graham quietly said, fast walking out of the room.

“why did you walk off?” his voice laced with sadness.

“it was too much. which isn’t a valid answer but i honestly don’t know.”

“is your view of me different now? i-is our friendship ruined?”

“what? absolutely not dames, you’ll forever be my best friend.”

“only your best friend?”

i try to find the right words to confess to him, my brain running empty.

“i’m in love with you too.” i blurt out just like how he did.

“w-what?”

“i kept thinking about you after our last encounter and it’s weird to say but i had a dream that made me realize that i love you. our memories make me all happy to think of you, be around you. you make me all fuzzy inside when you do things. and no one could make me feel that way, only you can. you’re my true love, damon. and i’m sorry i didn’t realize when you told me but i-“ i was cut off by damon’s lips.

i was caught off guard, standing there in shock as he held my face. slowly my lips started moving with his and my hands held his face. that fuzzy feeling covered my entire body, i was entirely numb and his touch felt like fire to me.

he pulled away, fast breathing coming out his parted spit covered lips.

“come on tour with me.”

“what?”

“come on tour with me. i want you with me all the time.”

“damon, i’m not really packed for that.”

“so? i’ll buy you clothes and everything else you need. just please, please come with me.” he begs.

he lets go of my face to grab onto my hands, thumb stroking the top of my hands. i thought about it long and hard. not a single ounce of regret crossed my mind.

“okay. i’ll come with you.”

“really?” he smiled brightly.

“yes, really.” i smile back.

“i love you so much.” he leans back in for a kiss i definitely wouldn’t decline.

“hurry up damon! we gotta leave, mate!” dave yelled from downstairs.

“guess we gotta get going.” i say as i pull away.

he grabs a suitcase off the floor and grabs onto my hand. he leads us down the stairs and out graham’s house.

“y/n is coming with us and there is going to be no argument about it.” damon announces.

“she better do some type of work.” dave said.

“i’ll deal with unloading your shit, okay?”

“deal. welcome to the tour life.” he points to the bus.

“oh my, very fancy.” i giggle.

i help damon pack his stuff into the back of the van. we shove ourselves inside the van, cuddling up as it was quite chilly outside.

“i’ll have to ring my sister to come get my car.”

“how would she get in?”

“i left my keys under a plant pot on gra’s porch.”

“well aren’t you smart.” he pokes my cheek.

“very.” i give him a cheeky smile.

i turn my attention to the window, watching as houses fly by. damon rested his head on my shoulder, falling asleep already. i smile to myself at this sudden change in my life. it may be sudden but it’s definitely not bad.

[imobsessivesometimes]

Eazy-Duz-It // Logan Howlett x Reader

PT 4

a/n ok last of spam post as of 11/22/24 ('merican notation)

this chapter genuinely took me so long to write, writers block is so real

"Ok!" I clapped my hands to begin, "Since it's our first lesson, I think we should get to know what kind of music you like!" The kid in front of me was scrawny, grumpy, overall uninterested. Ororo told me the only reason why he signed up is because she asked. Guess the kid has a crush on her.

"I don't really listen to music." he remarked listlessly. He hunched in his chair like he was rivaling the guy from that Notre dame movie. It was hard to keep my eye from twitching. I have NO idea what I'm doing.

"That's ok! Yeah, that's, yeah, totally fine. I, uh, actually put together a list of a few songs that I think matches your--uh--vibe!" I grabbed the folder on the piano bench to my right, opened it and grabbed a semi-crumpled piece of paper out of it. "I had seen you in the halls a few times, Oror--I mean, Storm, Miss Ororo, Miss Storm? --anyways, she pointed you out to me and, well, just look at it." I put out the piece of paper to him and he grabs it limply. His eyes rack over the small list and looks back at me unimpressed. "Oh! Right, right, you don't listen to music, so obviously you wouldn't know most if not all of these songs. That's ok! We can listen to them on my speaker and that can be our lesson for the day. And maybe next time we can figure out if you'd like to play an instrument, which one, or if you'd like to sing." I take the piece of paper back from him. I stand up to go to the piano where a small speaker is perched on the top. I que a few of the songs and we started to listen. He slouched down further and crossed his arms. 

Dark Entries (Bauhaus)

The kid emanates a punk attitude. Ororo had mentioned he barely listened in class, didn't participate in exercises unless he wanted to, and he talks back to Charles Xavier. Maybe music that'll get him to stomp around and move will be what he needs.

As the chorus came on, I saw his foot start to tap to the beat, or at least what he thought was the beat. I could see the slight movement of his head rocking. I think I might've clocked what he'll like. I played a few more songs until our 50 minutes was up. I gave him the list again and told him to explore different artists within the same genre. He seemed excited to see me next week.

I lean on the door frame, watching him walk away. His head bopped a little bit, I could feel that his heart was still beating at the same bpm as the last song we listened to. It honestly made me happy to see. Maybe this faux-"music therapy" was going to work. Before I turned back into my little classroom, I heard a gruff voice call out to me.

"Hey, teach," Logan lounged down the hallway, quickly making it over to me in a few strides, "I see you got Jacob to sign up?" he smirked, clearly knowing the kind of kid he was.

"I wish, Ororo did, actually. I think the kid has a thing for her," I scoffed with a smile. Logan leaned against the wall next to the side of the frame I was against. "Not busy?"

"Nah, sometimes you gotta ditch your own class." he shrugged. This guy, I tell ya. "I forgot you got put down here. All good?"

"Yeah, thanks for asking. I didn't think you were the type to check on the noobie." I pushed his shoulder slightly. It was odd, though. The first impression I got from him is that he didn't give a damn about anything or anyone. Maybe Jean Grey, if my eyes are working properly.

"Eh, well, I thought I'd be charitable, for once." he shrugged, "I was told I need to be 'nicer'" he put in quotes, his eyes roll under his furrowed eyebrows. All in jest, I think. 

"Mm, that's sweet," I say, "Got some more time on your hands?"

He raises an eyebrow at me, "Why?"

"I just thought maybe you'd wanna listen to some music with me. I don't have any other students today, literally only one signed up. Maybe you'll be more motivated to work after." I shrug. I try not to let my nerves get the better of me. Asking Logan to basically hang out was not something I was expecting to come out of my mouth, but something in me wants to spend more time with him. Something in me makes me want to get to know him better, maybe even help him. Also, if students know that I'm buddies with the big bad Logan, they'll want to sign up for lessons with me!

Logan looked at me suspiciously. I purse my lips in a thin line with wide eyes waiting for him to answer. "I don't really listen to music, kid, hate to break it to ya."

"Literally no one here does," I push off the frame with an eyeroll. It's getting frustrating how none of these people want to even try to get into something new, "Well, I'm going to practice piano, or something. Have fun at-- well, at whatever you do," I still give him a smile before I retreat back into my room. He gives a grunt in response when I close the door. I plop down on the piano bench and sigh. 

Being in this mansion was starting to get suffocating. And being in this little room with one window felt worse than that stupid shipping container. Worse than anything that fucking "RainTec" did to me. I don't understand why no one has come to talk to me about, or even to see if I'm ok. I am, but it'd still be nice to be asked. I hope I'm not always going to be useless and invisible here. I'm hidden in the farthest corner on the highest floor of this place. It's a wonder why Logan was up here in the first place. Maybe he goes on walks or something, I don't know. He's a weird guy, nothing he does would surprise me, honestly. Well, except if he started acting like Ororo or Kitty.

I sat at the piano for a while; for how long, I don't know, I don't have a clock. My speaker pinged and a muffled voice came out of it asking me to go down to the Professors office. I think it might've been Jean who hacked into my speaker. After another second, I get up begrudgingly. Sitting in my wallows was more appealing, ignoring this would be stupid, though. Besides, it's probably something important. I quickly make my way down to the first floor where Charles' office is located. I open the door to a few people around his desk, looks like I'm the last to the party. Scott, Jean, Ororo, and Logan were the people I recognized. There was another young man, he was blue with a tail and sharp teeth.

"Y/n, I'm happy you could join us on such short notice. I hope I didn't interrupt anything," Charles Xavier greeted. He's always nice to me. Skeptically, he might be a little too nice. "I know you haven't had any training, but the x-men would be at benefit of your knowledge and abilities for this mission." he began to explain, "You wouldn't be put on the battlefield, you'd be conducting behind the scenes work from the jet." he smiled.

"Uhm, ok? What is this mission even about?" I asked.

"My apologies, I forgot you weren't here when I went over it with the other x-men. We've found a base of RainTec's that we have records of you being held there recently. We've gotten reports of mutant's captive there, the mission is to help them escape and bring the base down in the process." he finished. The Professor didn't seemed bother in the slightest by my connection to RainTec, not even by the fact that I was also held captive there recently. But, despite that, this could be a good opportunity to prove myself useful. Maybe by helping them with this, it'll show that I can help people. Logan said that the first step is wanting to help, I guess this is my second. "Are you willing to help?"

"Yeah, sure." 

[gavlin]

i got diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks yesterday and started taking meds today. i know i got real sht with my mental health since high school. you'll know with my posts here when i was 15-19 years old (got pinned tags btw). but i kinda got over it, idk if things got better or i just got used to it, or i built up tolerance, i became numb or something. i know my mental health is not that good but i somehow powered through it, whatever i just winged it and keep winging it.

but dang this past month, i've been coming back and forth to hospital, doctor consultations and lot of tests and they can't see sht. they've been telling me it could be anxiety or stress. i somehow had a feeling that it is but there's this part of me wanting it to be just something in blood or vitamin deficiency so i will just take meds for 2 weeks max and i'll be okay. reasons for all that is i've been lightheaded for over a month now twenty four fucking seven. consistent as fuck, never left me. you know that feeling that you have a hangover? that. without the dizziness or spinning part but you're feeling something with you brain or head. then 2 weeks after i started feeling lightheaded or that hangover feeling, i started having real bad palpitations. there were days where i felt my heart palpitate for the whole day. then there's a week that i had a sudden rash on my chest, and it is spreading real bad. then there are times my hands are shaking, my toes are twitching, i am having mild cough for over a month now that doesn't go away even i took antibiotics. i became hyperaware with everything, really anxious. all of that stresses me more that it became a paradox/cycle of stress and anxiety. i'm feeling nervous because i am palpitating and i am palpitating because i am feeling nervous. i can't sleep because i am stressed, and i am stressed because i cannot sleep. i don't have a decent sleep for a month now. if i'm lucky and had 6 hours of sleep, i would still feel tired after waking up. and i am someone who always sleep for 7-8 hours because i really value my sleep. and you know what every time i wake up? the moment i wake up, literally 1 second, my heart is palpitating already like i'm on a fight and flight mode so i can't go back to sleep.

so i went to internal med/cardio. got full blood workup, different lab test including thyroid, xray, ecg, i even run for a stress test (u will run in a treadmill iydk), doctor even requested for brain mri but didn't push through because i have braces and everything is fine - didn't see sht. i'm healthy physically. sabi maybe stress or anxiety, ipahinga ko daw. e di nga ako makakapagpahinga, my body is having their mind on their own. kahit hindi na ako nagwo-worry about anything, these symptoms just keep going na ang nangyari, sa mga symptoms na ako nastress. nasstress na ko dahil isang buwan na kong parang nahihilo or what, palpitations, di makatulog, laging pagod, shaking, cough, rashes na buti naman wala na. so i asked if magcoconsult ba ko sa iba, sabi nya pwede daw sa neuro or psych. after that, dahil nasa hospital na ko, nagpacheck na din ako sa derma because my hair keep on falling out na for so many months (the thing is parang di naman ako napapanot or nababawasan ng buhok visually? pero ang daming nalalagas araw araw). derma checked all the test results, chineck scalp ko, pulang pula daw and wala ring makitang mali sa results and the reason daw bat ganon buhok ko is guess what? stress. i don't even remember being stressed on months my hair started falling out except for mild stress some times dahil sa acne. the thing is am not even sure anymore kasi nga i am winging my mental health ever since HAHHAHAHAHA. all my emotions, stress, shts, all bottled up. no one knows anything. ako lang nakakaalam lahat (that was the birth of this blog, my outlet kasi wala akong sinasabihan). so baka nga matagal na akong stressed and baka masyado na kong sanay hindi na siya nag-register na ay stressed pala ako HAHHAHAHAHA. sanay ako sa negative feelings or events whatever, sa positive feelings ako hindi so maybe di ko lang nare-realize. i just had one stressor this past month na i think naglead to all of these physical manifestations. eniweys, derma asked me questions about my lother symptoms and stuff, and after that, she suddenly asked me: do you want to have a referral for psych? when i heard that, i was like "oooh it's getting real now" hahahhahahaha. sht. i know there's something wrong with my mind but it will get real and legit if i will get a diagnosis. hindi ko na kaya i-wing wing to like chicken wings, di na kaya ng pakpak hahahahha kasi damay na physical ko my god kumawala na sya from my mind. baka ang susunod na winging ko nito, pakpak na ng kaluluwa ko papuntang langit. derma wrote on the referral letter to psych: anxiety disorder, for diagnosis and management.

the thing is gusto ko pa magpa-check sa neuro or ent or optha but doesn't make sense. all doctors referring me to psych. and i am someone that always believe in "everything happens for a reason". and if all that shts within the past month is leading me to a psych consultation, then i must take it, there's a reason. so had a consultation with psych (putangina ang mahal gago) then yun. gad. prescribed me meds na ayaw ko pa nga i-take kasi iniisip ko naman baka kaya ko ito i-power through ulit hahahah but i have physical symptoms na so i went with it. meds for mental health, you will take a long time na mahal din, consultations mahal din, so i get why people with mental heath disorder applying for pwd hindi dahil sa convenience sa pila pero tangina discount sa gamot tyaka consultations, ang mahal ng psych at hindi sya sakop ng hmo yun ang problem tangina ang mahaaaaal bat ganyan consultation fee niyo hahhahahah. eniweys that is that. i'm okay. i just wrote this post wanting to just share that i got diagnosed pero humaba na and just went with it, tuloy tuloy lang hence the way of writing sorry just vented out whatever. but again, i'm okay. ayoko lang na ma-diagnose ako nung isang araw kasi feeling ko baka i-relate ko lahat dito kahit hindi naman big deal sakin yung isang bagay. yung baka isipin ko na "ay siguro kasi may gad ako kaya ganto ganyan" pero if dati na wala kong diagnosis, baka hindi magiging big deal or hindi ko iisipin yung isang bagay and just let it be, pero baka ngayon ire-relate ko sya. alam mo yon? ayoko yung lagi kong iisipin na ay kasi baka may gad ako. ayaw ko syang gawing personality, ayaw ko irelate doon lagi, ayaw ko i-stuck yung sarili ko doon sa condition. kaya siguro i wrote about it kasi baka ngayon ko lang sya io-open up this way and i will just went on with my life. i'm open about it if may magtanong ganyan, pwede ko i-share randomly sa kwentuhan but i will not make this a big deal, i just have a condition and i'm taking care of it na. yun lang naman yung iniisip ko before the diagnosis, parang ayaw ko lang ng ganon na effect sa akin. so that is that. i'm fine. i'm okay. nothing big deal, felt something, had it checked, got diagnosed, started medication, things will be good, sana makatulog na ko nang matiwasay at mawala na hilo ko kasi yun talaga main problem ko this past month. wishing you all good mental health. power through.

[gatheredfates]

FIVE SONGS I'M INTO RIGHT NOW ✧˖°.

I got tagged by @hylfystt to list five songs I'm into right now! As I wanted to wait until I listened to the new Bad Omens album (because I knew the songs would rotate rent free in my head) I can update accordingly. ✨

ANYTHING > HUMAN - Bad Omens & Erra

This life was all it had to be. Designed, but not for you an me. I never needed you to be anything more than human.

IT'S GOOD. IT'S SEXY. BEST SONG OF THE ALBUM. It's sooo industrial and I love it.

celestina [hushed] - Crywolf & Emalyn.

Hold my life until the beating of your precious heart decides to kill. I'll bleed for you, love.

I used this song for my Alaice edit! I love how soft/ethereal this version is. (There is also a new Crywolf album next week and I... am not ready.)

notre dame - Paris Paloma

I rarely go down there, the view's just so beautiful from here and I can see everybody at their worst points. At their worst points.

I had this song pretty much on repeat for the entirety of last week; it has no right to be this longing and this pretty.

And So My Heart Became a Void - Ursine Vulpine & Annaca

Now we're standing in the sunlight and I can't bear the sight of you. Oh, my lover, what's on your mind? You're caught between two ways of life, a way for you to find the light. One day we will reconcile but that will have to wait this time.

The whole Solace EP gives me huge Azem/Emet vibes (or, really, Azem/Any Ancient) but this song in particular just HITS right. It's love, loss and longing in a way that feels so grandiose and otherworldly, but you can still relate to the intent behind it even if it feels beyond you. I love it.

The End - Halsey

When I met you, I said I would never die. But the joke was always mine 'cause I'm racing against time. And I know it's not the end of the world, but could you pick me up at eight? 'Cause my treatment starts today.

I've been a Halsey fan for years and, as someone who has cared for people with chronic illnesses (mental & physical), as well as battling with my own... yeah. It hits a certain way. If you're going through the same, it feels very cathartic.

Tagging: @mist-touched, @clouds-of-reveries, @redmoonwanderer, @ser-corviknight, @abalathia,

@hazelkjt, @candycryptids, @riftdancing, @clockchimesthirteen, @atupda & you!

If you'd like a chance of being tagged, you can like my permanent interaction call here!

[ardent-heretic]

Spawn has midterms this week. Due to a quirk in the Matrix they are all on Wednesday. So no school Tues., Thursday.,Fri.

As a Sophomore he is in the hardest class of the High School. People drop out like crazy. Others fail. But passing it gives you a college credit in a difficult course. Currently he has a C in the class. By course standards comparisons that is good.

He needs an 87 or above on Midterm to raise to a B, which would be awesome. He has had a 3 day weekend to study.

Did he study Saturday? No.

Did he study Sunday? No.

Has he been putting the nose to the grindstone today? Also No.

He is old enough where he shouldn’t have his hand held. And honesty I am tired of nudging the kids.

I explained to him the college of choice has a brutal acceptance process. You need a kick ass GPA, extracurricular shit up the wazoo, and other bells and whistles.

We have explained to him extra effort is the way to go. I explain to him a degree from this University gets your foot into a door for a job that pays $120,000-$163,000 to start.

If you don’t put that effort in you can get a degree somewhere else that pays $53,000-$88,000.

You can skate by with minimum effort and get less.

Or

Fuck it all up and ask if you want fries with that.

He knows what is up. He decides his fate. I’m dying slowly and won’t be there to bail him out in 15-20 years.

So 4 pm on Monday I ask how the studying is going? He says he will start in a bit.

I tell him to remember this day, remember his effort this year. And in a few years he will know if he can be satisfied with his effort.

I say you really should study.

He replies his catch phrase,”Hold on!”

Plus he wants to watch Notre Dame tonight.

You reap what you sow.

[clangenrising]

Month 7 - Leaffall

Prev | First | Next

Smokyrose returned to camp, tail dragging low in the dirt. Feeling rather sullen, she trudged her way towards the burrow where the fresh-kill was kept and sighed heavily. 

The evening was just starting to cool off and most of her Clanmates were loitering around camp. Oddstripe lounged in the mouth of the nursery, his kits piled on top of him despite them being almost grown. Barleykit lay between her fathers paws as he lazily groomed behind her ears and Floodkit idly batted at his twitching tail. Goldenstar and Scorchplume sat side by side bantering quietly. Songdust and Russetfrond were sharing tongues on top of the warrior’s den while Pantherhaze slept nearby. Everyone here had someone to spend their time with and that only served to worsen her mood.

She sighed again.

“You alright, Smokyrose?” Goldenstar asked. 

Smokyrose winced and tried to smile. “Yes, I’m fine,” she said, blinking slowly. 

“You’re sighing quite a lot for someone who’s alright,” Scorchplume said, tilting her head suspiciously, “and they don’t sound like the dreamy kind of sighs.” 

“No, they wouldn’t, would they…” she sighed again. “Sorry, I just. I expected to meet Ghost today and he wasn’t around.” Reluctantly, she picked out a mouse from the pile and moved to join the two tortoiseshells.

“I’m sorry, Smokyrose,” Goldenstar said with a sympathetic frown. “I’m sure he’s just busy. He did say he had responsibilities in the city, didn’t he? Maybe he has cats of his own to look out for.” 

“You’re probably right,” Smokyrose nodded, but it didn’t make her feel any less miserable. Oddstripe had warned her that feeling weird and moody was to be expected during pregnancy but she hadn’t expected it to start so early.

“Um, pardon me, but… did you say Ghost?” Scorchplume asked, clearly treading carefully. 

“Yes,” Smokyrose nodded with a fond smile, her thoughts drifting back to him. “He’s the father of my kits.” 

Goldenstar turned to Scorchplume and said, “She brought him around last week, remember? We were talking and you disappeared right before he arrived.” 

Scorch smiled in a way Smokyrose had come to realize meant she was embarrassed and covering for it. “Yes, I do remember that.” 

“Where did you go, anyway?” asked Goldenstar, “You never gave me a straight answer.” 

“And I am sorry about that,” said Scorch, her tail swishing fretfully. “To tell you the truth, I… didn’t want him to see me.” 

Smokyrose blinked in surprise and quickly swallowed her mouthful of mouse. “Really? Why?” 

“Well…” Scorch winced and looked away.

“It’s alright,” Smokyrose added, “you don’t have to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” She wished she would though. If not, the curiosity was going to eat her alive until she could get Ghost to satisfy it. 

Scorchplume licked her whiskers and glanced between them before leaning in. “No, you deserve to know,” she said softly. “See, Ghost and I uh… know each other. When I lived in the city it was hard not to know him. He’s a pretty important cat there.” 

“Really?” asked Smokyrose again. He’d never mentioned anything besides having cats who needed him in the city. Why would he keep that a secret? Perhaps he was just being modest, she reasoned, but a voice in the back of her head reminded her of how frightened he had been when she mentioned bringing those cats along and how scared Scorch had been when she first arrived. 

“Yes,” said Scorchplume. “He’s also very well known for, well…” She seemed rather pained as she tried to find the right words. Smokyrose and Goldenstar waited, rapt in their curiosity.  Scorch continued, “I guess there’s no good way to put it, uh, he tends to start seeing a dame and then, when she comes down with kittens, he stops speaking to her. It’s a habit of his.” Smokyrose couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Never minding how Scorch had referred to being pregnant as if it were a disease to be caught, she simply couldn’t grasp what she had just learned about Ghost. It couldn’t be true, could it? Her mind raced. 

“A-are you sure?” she asked weakly. 

“He’s a pale grey tabby with blue eyes, yes?” Scorchplume clarified. Smokyrose’s stomach suddenly felt like it was full of stones. 

“Yes,” she swallowed, nearly choking on the word. 

“Then I’m sure,” Scorchplume said gravely. “I’m sorry, I know it must be hard to hear.” 

Goldenstar leaned closer to press her pelt against Smokyrose’s flank. “Oh, Smoky…” 

“I- He said he was going to try though,” she said, looking down at her prey. “Maybe this time is- is different.” She glanced up to meet Scorchplume’s eyes and found the city cat trying to hide a pitying grimace. 

“I’m sorry, Smokyrose,” she said, “I wouldn’t hold my breath for him coming back.” 

Smokyrose wanted to crumple into a ball. She felt like she was made of mulch that was being washed away in a torrential rain. But he had been so kind! So charming and gentlemanly and doting! Sure, he had been persistent and a flirt but he had come with her to camp hadn’t he? She didn’t want to believe that she would never see him again. 

“Um, excuse me,” she said as she stood, struggling to keep her breath steady.

“Smoky-” Goldenstar started.

“I’m fine, really, I just, um, I need a moment, please.” Backing away from Goldenstar’s touch, she turned and slank towards the elders’ den. She had to be alone. Stars, she felt so ashamed! How could she have been so gullible?

Behind her, she heard Scorchplume say to Goldenstar, “Let her go. She’ll be okay… in time. She’s better off without him.”

[dingochef]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, References to Smut (18+ Only)

Word Count: 500

Summary: Jake surprises you in an endearing and permanent way.

A little drabble to honor the fact that 150 of you amazing people follow this crazy blog. Thank you all!

Masterlist

Lucky

For once you're home early, like early early. The joys of working on literally top secret projects meant that when one of the 18 bazillion security features on the network goes awry you couldn't work. So here you are, unlocking the door to your house at 4 pm on an unassuming Thursday.

Pushing the door open you catch a glimpse of Jake, your fiance in the bathroom. He is bare chested, a sight that never fails to pull a girly sigh from you, holding out the waistband of his athletic shorts and looking intensely at something in the mirror. The noise of your shoes gracelessly clattering off against the hardwood floor alerts him to your presence.

"El! You're home early!" he squawks, obviously surprised. He pulls up his hand quickly, the band of his shorts snapping against his well defined torso with a loud noise. A quick grimace flashes across his features which is quickly overcome by a strained smile as he turns to you.

"I am, you okay, Jake?" you ask, picking up on his nervousness.

"Me, fine, fine, perfectly fine, you?"

His hand rests on his right hip bone protectively

"I'm good. You seem…skittish, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yup, right as rain," he nods overly enthusiastically.

"The servers went down at work so I got out early. I was thinking of going down to the beach for a quick swim before dinner. Want to join me?" you ask as you start to strip off your work clothes. Jake follows your movements with his jade colored eyes as more of your skin gets revealed.

"Yes–uh, no, not for six weeks," he answers, half babbling. You quirk your head at his confusing answer.

"Jake, what are you talking about?"

He lets out a sigh,

"Ummm, so I did this today," he says quickly and pulls down his waistband to reveal a small green shamrock on his hip bone.

"Is that a tattoo?" you ask.

He closes his eyes,

"Yes, it's for you. I just about lost my mind when you showed me that tattoo sketch of aviator sunglasses with a F-18 over San Diego with my initials that you're going to get. I wanted to do something like that for you. Thought it'd be a nice wedding gift."

You gently walk up to Jake and run a finger around the tattoo, not directly touching it knowing it's still healing.

"Why a shamrock?"

"You're my little leprechaun, my lucky charm, that and your insanely rabid fan love of Notre Dame, seemed like a good thought? Do you like it?"

It's a three leafed shamrock with your initials E,S, and M in each of the three leaves with Celtic knot line work around them.

"I love it, I'm so touched you would do something like this for me."

You lean over and let your voice go low and quiet,

"I can't wait to see if the next time I'm on my knees blowing you."

All that escapes Jake's mouth is a soft whimper followed by a shuddering breath,

"Fuck El, already worth it."

@kmc1989

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered

@mayhemmanaged

@callmemana

@dempy

@hangmanscoming

@lanie-k

@callsign-viper

@senjoritanana

@djs8891

@atarmychick007

@memoriesat30

@midnightmagpiemama

@mygyn

[winters8child]

It´s been a long, long time

Chapter 16

Two weeks had passed since we arrived at Camp Lehigh, still uncertain of the end goal. I patched up minor injuries, which was an okay job, but I hoped to get more information on Bucky—where he was stationed, if he was alive. Nobody seemed to know anything, or they just didn't want to tell me. Steve visited whenever he could, often talking about "Peggy," as he called her. She seemed nice enough, but I worried she might break Steve's heart.

One morning, I made my way to the infirmary and found Dr. Erskine and Agent Carter waiting for me. "Good morning, miss. Today is the day we've all been waiting for. Agent Carter will accompany you and Mr. Rogers to Brooklyn. You'll receive further information when we get there," he said eagerly.

Ten minutes later, Steve, Peggy, and I were in the back of a car heading to Brooklyn. Even though I had only been away for three weeks, the city felt different, maybe because Bucky wasn't in it anymore. I looked out the window, hearing Steve list all the places he had been beaten up. My thoughts drifted to Bucky, remembering how he had saved Steve each time.

I was about to get lost in my thoughts again when I heard Steve call Peggy a beautiful dame, which gave me a coughing fit. He struggled for words, making it worse with every syllable. "Or a woman. An agent. Not a dame. You are beautiful, but..." Peggy interrupted, "You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?" Steve glanced at me, "Uh, I've had plenty of conversations with my friend, but that's different." That hurt more than I liked to admit, so I said, "Yeah, because I'm not a beautiful dame," with a sarcastic tone. Steve blushed and tried to console me. "That's not what I meant... I mean, you are beautiful, of course..." Peggy watched our conversation with interest, but we arrived before she could say anything.

I got out of the car as soon as I could, with Steve scrambling after me, still trying to assure me I misunderstood him. "It's fine, Steve. I'm good," I told him, following Peggy into an antiques store. It was dim inside, and the furniture was dusty, as if it hadn't seen customers in a long time. An old lady approached us and said, "Wonderful weather this morning, isn't it?" Peggy answered without missing a beat, "Yes, but I always carry an umbrella." What a weird conversation, I thought as I watched the old lady walk behind a counter until I heard a buzzing sound. We walked behind a curtain where a bookshelf revealed the reason we were here. It looked like a hidden army facility, doing god knows what without anybody knowing.

Peggy led us into a huge lab full of scientists and two weird-looking machines in the middle. Dr. Erskine shook our hands, asking if we were ready. We both nodded, not really knowing what was about to happen. He instructed us to strip down to our underwear, which we promptly did. I was so nervous, I feared I would throw up any minute. I remembered why I was doing this—this was not the time to back down. If Bucky couldn't chicken out, neither could I. I stepped out from behind the privacy screen and saw Steve give me a reassuring smile. I was sure he was as nervous as I was, but backing out wasn't in his DNA.

We both got into our respective machines when I heard Howard Stark's voice telling Dr. Erskine that everything was ready. Peggy was making her way up to the upper booths, but she looked back at Steve one last time, and I caught him looking back at her. This wasn't the right moment to get jealous, or whatever that weird feeling in my stomach was, so I closed my eyes and tried to tune out the voices. I could hear the murmurs around me and Dr. Erskine giving a speech about the experiment. The scientists gave me an injection. The doctor started counting down as the machine around me started to whirr and buzz. A burning fluid began flooding my body, making me feel like I was on fire from the inside. The machine swung up and closed the door, and I realized I hated closed spaces, but it was too late now.

The buzzing around me got louder, and I couldn't hear what was happening outside, but I felt a tingle in my toes that spread all over my body. The sensation quickly turned into sharp pain, like being stabbed over and over again. Was Steve feeling the same thing? I started yelling, but nobody did anything until it all stopped. The doors opened, and I was surrounded by scientists with curious expressions. As I looked over at Steve, my jaw dropped. He seemed unconscious, so Dr. Erskine helped him out. When I tried to step forward, five scientists closed in on me, giving me a hand. I looked down at my body, which looked entirely different than before. My wiry arms were suddenly strong and muscular, and I felt like I could lift a car. My legs were still tingling, but it wasn't uncomfortable—it felt like I could run a marathon in a minute.

I saw that Peggy was just as shocked by Steve's new physique as she stared at him, asking how he felt. But Steve was looking around until his eyes met mine. When he saw me, he ran straight into my arms. It felt different, hugging him like this, but somehow I could still feel Steve. "We did it," he mumbled into the crook of my neck as I hugged him back.

Next Chapter

[hongchenzhu]

This is part 4

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 3.5

Also pls read the chapters in order, cause there is a lot of information in chapter leading up to this one

Also same as other chapter, if you don't like the outfit I describe then change it I don't mind, same with height the only thing that can't be changed is the eye's and hair cause they are plot related.

Also swearing

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Timeline might not match with the Manga)

“My logic is very simple if you are not dead by the end of this training session. Then I will make you work to death.”

WTF, who are you

Yup, that's me. You're properly wondering how I ended up in this situation? Well…

24 hours prior

“Congratulations on passing the 3rd selection. But bad news, your soccer careers are in danger of disappearing forever like worthless trash, along with Blue Lock.”

Murmurs of disbelief started among the boys

“But good work, playing against the world all-stars was quite the experience, right?” Ego display on the screen

“A lot happened since the third selection, I plan to narrow you down to five players, but… the plan has changed. The main problem is the bigshots of Japanese soccer are trying to put kibosh on Blue Lock, so I decide to send them a challenge.”

A holographic appeared on the screen.

“This means the next selection, which is done in three weeks will define the outcome of Blue Lock’s future.” Ego pushed his glasses towards his face, the light reflecting off the glass giving him a sinister look. “If you win this game, you can steal the honour of representing Japan at the U-20 World Cup.”

A series of murmurs started again “What” “No way” “For real”

“Therefore the time has come, my lumps of talents. To bring a new era.”

Small time skip - after the groups have been chosen (Cause I’m lazy 👍)

“For the first few days, you’ll have matches between each other after that you will start training, for the next two weeks.” Ego’s on the screen again telling group A what the plan is for the next three weeks “Of course, there will still be matching between to see how much you have improved.”

Isagi raised his hand.”Ego-san” “Yes, Yoichi?” “Who are we training with?”

Ego’s sadistic smile appeared on his face again “you’ll know who your trainer is when the time comes.” Shivvers were shot down the spine of people in the room, including Rin and Shindou. Just then a female appeared behind Ego “Ego, there is no need to be that harsh on them.” An elegant woman wearing a large hat came into view, with the hat obscuring her face but her straight posture exposed who she is to Isagi. ‘!!! Y/n is going to our trainer??? . . . We’re fucked,’

Another magic time skip cause I can’t be bothered writing the different matches ✌️

Day 1 of training

Everyone in team 1 was chilling, more like waiting cause ego called them into the meet room. “Hello, my diamond in the rough, how was your match? Not bad… great. Today marks the start of your training camp. And who is your t-” the screen closed

“That dame bastard, so annoying.” A new voice appeared in the room,

“Ahh” “Who?” “Ahh,” “WTF”

A Tall, white-haired female who clearly wasn't here before stood in the middle of the room. “Hello” waving her hand “I am your trainer for the next 2 weeks”

Murmurs began to start “now, to officially start this training camp, start by running 50 laps around this room”

“What?” “Do what?”

“Start now, or no dinner.” this caused people to start running. ‘I knew that would work, no one would reject not having dinner.’

“Oi, old hang you do I have to run,” Shido shouted

Y/n turned around and look at Shido through the pitch-black glasses she wears. “Because Ryusei Shido, it’s for you to get stronger.” Shido could feel her gaze through her glasses “Now get running or you’ll run another 5- laps”

Out of fear, Shido began running again, this time faster as he could feel her gaze on him almost making two holes in the back of his head.

Isagi was out of breath by lap 34 Shido was the second to finish, after Rin, and Isagi finished at number 8 and everybody slowly after that.

“Great, now that everyone is done with the warmup, I should do a little introduction.” Y/n clapped her hands as the last few finish up “I am Gojo Y/n your new trainer until the U-20 Japan match, nice to meet you” Everyone looked at her “Now, I will spend two hours each day for the next two and push you as far as you can after all” A shiver was sent down everyone’s spin… again almost like there fucked “My logic is very simple if you are not dead by the end of this training session. Then I will make you work to death.” In the sweetest voice anyone could have, but saying the most brutal thing.

And this was how most people in group 1 would die after every training.

Time skip … again

In the main presentation room, all 45 participants were present. Ego was on the stage. “When a person focuses on something, they can get so absorbed in their work they don’t realise the passing of time.” Ego’s tone was very stable and calm “taking enjoyment in the process, their brain enters a state of excitement. To put it simply, that is the ‘flow’.”

The Flow is a state of extreme focus where you are immersed in what you are doing.

“Now that Ego is done with his presentation, let me introduce you to another phenomenon called ‘curses’” Y/n stood on the stage in a black long-sleeve kind of body-hugging long dress with a long black coat, black heels and her signature black glasses. (Again if you don’t like this outfit then you can change it)

“Curses, are a race of spiritual beings created from negativity. Now everyone in this room has curse energy, but only a selected few can weld it by will.” A cart of glasses rolled toward Y/n “here, take one and passed it on.”

After everyone got a pair of glasses Y/n started talking again “Put the glasses on before we continue.” A movement of kids putting their glasses on. “These glasses have been imbued with curse energy, therefor you should be able to see the orb that I am creating.” Y/n held her hand open and a red ball appeared in her palm. “This is a form of curse energy, normally you wouldn’t be able to see it but since you are wearing the glasses it allowed you to see it. And that's what the flow is like a sudden surge of curse energy that gives you a push in what you are doing. Isagi!”

“Hai”

“Is a perfect example, he momentarily entered the state of the flow which means he had a burst of curse energy in physical strength and most importantly, the firing of neurons which allowed him to have a full spital awareness of the court.”

Yukimiya put his hand up “Yes, you”

“Y/n - san, how did you know Isagi momentarily entered the flow?”

“Yukimiya, to those who could weld curse energy at will we also have the ability to see curses, in a matter of fact if you look at the end of the room” Y/n walked off the stage while the boy’s head turned to see the back of the room. “What is that!” “That thing!” “I… want to vomit”

“This gents is a curse and as a jujutsu sorcerer, it’s my job to excoriate it.”

‘That thing’ thought Isagi ‘is similar to the one I saw in the training room’

“But like skills, different sorcerers have different ways to excoriate a curse.” Y/n walked towards the curse at the end of the room. “First grade huh,” she whispered, with a click of her finger, the head of the curse turned into a splatter with purple goo covering the corner that was trapped in. Everyone else in the room looked at her, more like her back standing tall and proud it seems like this is her everyday job.

“Now you can keep the glasses, but if you don’t want to see this creature when you are going to bed I suggest only wearing them when you are analysing your opponents.” Her glasses slid down a bit, allowing her eye to be visible. Bright blue eyes, like the reflection of the sky staring back at the player, the brightest object in this dark corner that seems to peer into the souls of the living. Unnerving and unwavering of the eyes looking back. “Right now get out and start training for the round coming up.”

Time skip to one day before the match

“Isagi, good luck on your match tomorrow” “Y/n why are you telling me this now” “Isagi, I have a mission tomorrow so I won’t be able to tell you that, I’ll try getting to the match as fast as I can after finishing off my mission, ok”

Y/n raised her hand and touched Isagi’s head, ruffling his hair “Isagi I know you can lead this team to win, you will become the star of this show.” Her bright blue eyes look into Isagi’s eyes “Because Isagi, you are similar to us. Your eye has traces of curse energy more than the average human but less than curse users, if you can somehow manipulate it at will then this will help you in the near future.” Y/n then touched Isagi’s face, her eyes began to water making her already mesmerising eyes even more ethereal.

“Wait for me Isagi, and let me see you win this match.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After this is offically start of the U-20 arc the arc might be split up into different parts to make my life easier.

[abbatoirablaze]

Welcome To The Dollhouse, Claim On A Dame

Word Count:  1.4k

Warnings: smut/unprotected sex, self-conscious attitudes

Steve looked out of his peripherals, quite nervously as he watched the woman beside him.  His hand shifted on the steering wheel as he peered at her through his sunglasses, “is the car alright?  Not too cold or warm?  I could-“

“Everything’s fine, Steve,” she replied softly, her hand reaching out gently so that she could give his thigh a reassuring squeeze, “will you tell me where we’re going though?”

“I-I wanted today to be about us…” he replied just as softly, “Buck said he spoke to you…about us?”

“What about ‘us’?” she asked. 

Steve’s hands tapped nervously on the steering wheel while he waited for the light to turn green, “we uh-us…the three of us…”

“As far as I knew, Bucky was interested in the possibility of an ‘us,’ but I told him for there to be an ‘us,’ there must first be an ‘us,’ if you know what I mean,” she replied, gesturing between the two of them, “but up until this morning, you hadn’t really expressed much of an interest.”

“Yes, I did!” She spared him a soft, judgmental look and he frowned, “fine…I chickened out…happy?”

“Did you tell Bucky about how you don’t have feelings for me?”

His eyes snapped to hers. 

“H-how could you think I don’t have feelings for you?” he asked curiously.

“Well, do you?”

“I’ve been terrified of talking to you because I DO have feelings for you!”

The couple stared at one another for a few moments before a horn blew behind them.  The car directly after them was getting impatient over the fact that they were still sitting at the light despite it turning green a few moments prior. 

They were shifted out of their moment of silence, and into a nervous energy as Steve stepped on the gas, continuing on to where he’d originally planned on taking her. 

“So you do have feelings for me?”

A blush found its way to Steve’s cheeks as he nodded, “yeah…I just…it’s complicated to explain it though.”

“And it’s not just because Bucky’s holding out on you?” she teased. 

Steve tore his sunglasses off and looked at her, before refocusing on the road, “he told you that?”

She nodded, the smallest of giggles leaving her lips, “yeah…he did…”

“Well, Bunny, it’s not just because Bucky’s holding out on me…” he replied honestly as he turned onto a street and started down the long driveway, “I figured that he was right…and that I can’t wait for you to come after me…you made your expectations clear.  You respected my boundaries, and my relationship with Buck…I didn’t expect you to chase me…”

“So then…what is it?”

“Bucky made a valid point…” he answered as he pulled into the spot in the driveway, “you know…Buck and I don’t plan on staying at the tower or the dollhouse forever, Bunny…we want to build a life.  And we’ve been waiting on the right dame to do that with.  One that gets both of us…”

“And you two think I fit the bill?”

“More than any other woman that we’ve ever met,” he admitted, “and that’s saying something…because as you know, we’ve been alive a pretty long while.”

“So, what’s this, then?”

Steve looked through the windshield and to the large, private estate that he and Bucky had just closed on the week prior, “well, Bunny…this is the beginning of that…”

Her brow quirked and she looked back at Steve, “don’t think you’re getting off easy because you have a mansion, Steve…money isn’t everything, and it won’t win me over.”

“Doll, this isn’t a bribe, or anything to win you over…this is our life,” Steve sighed, “Buck and I want to leave the Avengers for good, and focus on different things…”

“Like your big house?”

“Like you,” he promised gently, reaching out to stroke her cheek, “we’ve been arguing about it because I have been keeping a foot in the Avengers while he’s been putting more effort into our personal relationship with you and the dollhouse…Buck already left them behind, and I was supposed to follow…but-“

“You’re a soldier, through and through, Steve…”

He gave her a sad smile, “yeah…war and saving the world are the only things that have always been there for me.  I went into the ice…lost Buck for a while…thought I was going to be alone…and then when we found each other again, we were thrown into the invasion in New York, the Civil Wars, Bucky getting de-programmed, the snap…all of it.  I just-“

“Hey…you don’t have to try and justify it, Steve,” she said softly as she placed her hand over his, “Bucky’s told me about his side of the events…I don’t fault either of you for your emotions or how you handle them…I just want to be on the same page as you both.  I don’t want to be involved if you don’t want me to, Steve…”

“No…no…I do…I want you to be involved, Bunny,” he sighed.  His eyes searched hers, and she sighed, sensing the desperation and truth in them, “I just-I don’t know how to do this…”

“Well, what do you want to do, Steve?”

“Can I-can I show you the house?” he asked softly, “ I mean, I know that Buck and I bought it without any real input from you or anything, but I-I wanna involve you!”

“Okay…” she nodded softly.  Steve smiled and she returned it.  Leaning forward, she pressed a small, simple kiss to his cheek, which caused his blush to return.  The two of them sat in the car for a few minutes before she spoke once more, “well, soldier?  Are we just going to sit here all day or are you going to show me the house?”

“So, this is the bedroom?”

Steve blushed, “the main bedroom, yeah…but Buck and I didn’t think it felt like home…just yet?”

“Does it feel like home now?” she asked, looking up at him through thick lashes. 

Steve felt a pulse in his cock as it twitched to life. He nodded, watching her sprawled out on the bed, “it does…”

“Well, Captain…I think there are two very important people missing that would make this bed feel a lot more cozy…”

Steve smirked as he sauntered towards her, “is that so?”

“Mhmmm…”

He didn’t wait to pull his shirt over his head or kick his shoes off as he stopped just shy of the California King bed.  She sat up, moving to her hands and knees, and crawled towards the edge of the bed, before sitting up on her knees and coming face to face with him. 

Steve tried to swallow down his anxiety as he searched her eyes for any hint that she didn’t want this sort of life. 

But all he saw was the unbridled lust that he felt as well.

“Bunny…”

“Do you want me, Steve?” she asked softly, “really want me?   Want Bucky?  Want us to be here with you?”

Steve nodded, his lips parting ever so slightly as he muttered his response, “yes.”

Her hands stretched out and braced themselves on his pecs.  Steve felt a warmth spreading through him; the same warmth he felt when Bucky touched him.

“Bunny…”

“If you don’t want this-“

“I want it,” he replied quickly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against his chest, “I want you.”

“I want to feel you, Steve…”

Steve pressed his lips against hers, while his hands worked their way up her chest to the start of her dress.  He tore the fabric in half as though it was nothing more than tissue paper, and his hands explored the soft flesh that lay beneath. 

“Want to taste you!” he begged against her lips. 

Her hands went up to his hair and she tugged on the golden brown tresses, as he pushed her back onto the bed.  She pulled him down with her, and the two fell into a heated frenzy, with Steve pulling off the lingerie she was wearing even quicker than the dress. 

“Steve…”

“Say it’s okay,” he begged softly, “tell me that it’s okay…”

“I want you, Steve,” she moaned, her naked core grinding against the jeans he wore.  Steve’s eyes fluttered shut as her hands feverishly reached for them, fighting with the button and zipper, before pulling them down and freeing his length, “Steve!”

“You’re ours,” he promised as she fisted his length and he lined himself up with her, “you are all ours, Bunny, and we’re never letting you go!”

“All yours!” she repeated as he sank into her tight, wet channel.

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Sicktember #22

Prompt: Terms of Endearment/Nicknames

Fandom/OCs: Roaring Twenties OCs (Jesse Hamilton)

Words: 1630

Inspiration: None, really. A follow-up to this snippet by me. 

Author’s comments/background: Read Jesse’s first story here. Jesse was another OC that served a very specific purpose and I have never been able to come up with another good scenario for him, but that Roaring Twenties scenario I wrote a bit ago was so generic that I figured I might as well stick it with an existing OC, so here is the follow-up. This one was fun to write, as it’s an era I haven’t had much practice writing. You all can judge how successful I was. 

This might not exactly fit the spirit of the prompt, since these two are strangers, but I think it’s cute in its own way. 

~~~***~~~

The last time he was in this club, a beautiful dame had promised to buy him a drink. Today his eyes roved over the seats constantly, looking for that dame again, clamping his lips every so often against the persistent cough that was plaguing him. He had all but given up when a pair of big brown eyes locked onto his, and his heart started beating faster. 

She was slowly making her way over to him, hips swinging and that sultry smile on her lips. Excitement coursed through him, pooling between his legs, which he crossed in a hurry. He watched her approach, trying to maintain an air of easy expectation. When she was a few tables away from him, another gent called her name, grabbing her and trying to flirt. Though the coughing man couldn't hear precisely what was being said, he had learned to read lips as a kid, obsessed as he'd been with making sure no one was talking about him or keeping secrets from him. He'd kept the knack for it, and it came in handy in the factories where it was so loud a man couldn't hear himself think. He stifled another cough into his fist as he watched the other gent make a desperate attempt to keep her attention, but he was gratified to see her eyes kept flickering over to his table. She pulled away at last, and the gent pleaded with her not to leave, but she ignored him. Rose Madden, the fellow had called her. Rose was her name. His senses heightened with the thrill of recognition--he knew this girl, or at least he had a long time ago. 

She swished up to his table at last, sliding into the chair across from him with easy grace and a flirtatious smile. "Why fancy meeting you here."

"Evening, miss," he said evenly, leaning back and trying to match her relaxed posture. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"What indeed? It's almost a month since you were here before. I'd all but given up on ever seeing you again. I trust you're in good health?" She pulled out a cigarette in a holder and lit it, taking a long drag, as if whatever he answered was inconsequential to her. 

He shrugged one shoulder, clearing his throat. "I'm still kicking, as it were. And I'm sorry I kept you waiting. I had to go out of town for a few weeks for work."

"Oh, I wasn't waiting," she said carelessly, taking another drag. "I almost didn't notice you, except that you caught my eye, frantically looking around as you were. Were you looking for someone?"

Her eyes held his, unblinking. She knew exactly who held the power here. If he said he was looking for her, she continued to be in control. If he said someone else, she could easily walk away and tell him to bother another woman instead. 

He took the bait, seeing no other option. "Why, you, sugar, who else?" he asked, a little desperate now. As long as she continued to sit with him, he continued to have a chance with her. 

"And why would you be doing a thing like that, I wonder?" she asked, blowing a lazy smoke ring. He thought she was testing him–as if she hadn't quite made up her mind about him yet. 

"You promised to buy me a drink, remember," he said, a little lamely. 

"You don't seem to be hard up for cash. I wouldn't peg you as the type to go to so much trouble for a little free booze," she said, continuing to toy with him, hardly blinking as she scrutinized his every reaction, yet maintaining her careless demeanor. 

"Okay, so it's not just the drink. How could I not look for you after we talked last month, angel? That's like dangling a piece of meat in front of a tiger and then pulling it away."

One of her eyebrows shot up. "Ah, so we're comparing a woman to a piece of meat and making her an object now. I see the originality has already run dry. And here I thought you were smarter than that, with those intelligent eyes and gentleman's posture. What a shame." She leaned away, and made as if to stub out her smoke. 

"Aww, don't go, sugar," he begged, demeaning himself further. It was all or nothing, now. "What do you want from me? Whatever it is, I'll be it. You want intelligent? I can be intelligent. Or classy. Or smooth. Take it slow? Knock you off your feet? Name it and it's yours." He leaned over the table, bridging the gap between them. Unfortunately the wisp of smoke from her cig caught him full in the face as he did, and he was forced to cough into his sleeve, short and harsh, before turning back to her. 

She stared at him for a long moment before, inexplicably, a look of understanding crossed her face. He held his breath as she too leaned forward once more. 

"And what about sick in bed, can you do that one?" Her cool hand was pressed against his sweaty forehead out of nowhere, surprisingly gentle. "Because that's the only place you should be with a cough and fever like that. I'm amazed you came here sick again. What were you thinking?" 

He leaned back, shrugging one shoulder again and trying to keep his face neutral even as his hopes for the night drained away. "Just a cough isn't so bad. Anyway, I'm better than I was last month. I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer."

"I told you, I wasn't waiting for you." She stubbed out the remains of her cigarette thoughtfully. When her intense brown eyes met his once more, though, she was smiling, flirtatious as she'd been when she sat down. "Why don't you come home with me tonight?"

His mood reinflated like a balloon, but her next words gave him pause:

"Mama always wanted me to be a nurse. Looks like I get to practice on you, handsome. Come back to my place and let me nurse you back to health once and for all. You must be miserable, being sick for almost a month as you have." 

He wasn't sure what to make of this strange turn of events, unsure whether he ought to be excited or embarrassed. It seemed she was still flirting, though, so it was time to try to swing things in his favor for the first time all night. There was one bit of leverage he had over her still.

"Well that sounds fine and dandy. But why would you do a thing like that? I'm a complete stranger to you. You don't even know my name."

This was a gamble. She may well know his name, first and last. His family weren't exactly strangers in this area, and he was the young heir. He had strangers approach him all the time, acting as if they knew him after reading a few newspaper articles about him. 

She held her teasing smile, considering what he'd said. "I suppose that's true. But you don't know mine either. It's all been pet names and terms of endearment. So why would YOU do a thing like follow me home?"

He coughed before answering, heightening the suspense, at least in his mind. "Au contraire, mademoiselle. I do know your name, Rose Madden. Your father is a banker, and your mother died years ago. I think you were around ten. Most of the neighborhood attended her funeral. And you were sent away to boarding school shortly thereafter. So you see, you're no stranger to me after all."

He leaned back with a self-satisfied smile, muffling another cough behind his lips. Her mouth dropped open slightly, and he mentally chalked up a point in his favor, and then another when she gave him a look of reluctant admiration. 

"Alright then, have it your way. Why don't you come on home with me and we can have a talk over coffee about how you know so much. You shouldn't be out in the night air any longer, Casanova. You look like you could use a hot drink."

He nodded, standing and pulling on his jacket. "I'll take you up on that. Long as you'll be there, I'll go anywhere you like."

He was putting the power back in her hands, but he was quickly becoming too tired to care, now that he had met his objective. 

She smiled as she looped her arm through his. "I'll treat you right, don't you worry."

They made their way out the door and onto the sidewalk as one. The cool night air felt heavenly on his superheated skin, and the quiet was a relief for his aching head. She tugged gently on his arm and began to lead him out of the neighborhood.

"You know it's only fair if you tell me your name, since you know mine," she said as she walked. 

He looked down at her and almost argued to keep hold of his last vestige of control. Then she smiled up at him, and he had to smile back. 

"Jesse. Name's Jesse."

"No last name?" she prodded. 

"Not yet. I'm not sure you've earned that information."

Her arm moved, and he almost thought she was going to pull away, but in the end she kept walking with a private smile. "Suit yourself. You'll tell me sooner or later."

"And why would I do a thing like that?"

"Because when I nurse you back to health you're going to fall madly in love with me, Mr. Jesse, and then you'll tell me anything I ask, just as they do in the war stories."

He chuckled softly, the sound floating up to the night sky. "Well I look forward to seeing how that plays out, then, Miss Rose."

[pbandjesse]

I just gave myself a little haircut. My hair has been bothering me so much for the last couple weeks and honest ly it helped a lot already. It also just doesn't help that it's been incredibly humid today. It was supposed to storm a lot worse than it actually ended up doing and I think I'm just not reacting well to how humid it is. But I do like my little haircut and I hope tomorrow I still like it.

That was a pretty good guy. I was happy to be at camp and I got a lot of accomplished. Despite many factors trying to stop that from happening.

Sleep last night didn't come easy. I was just struggling to get comfortable. But eventually I slept and I only vaguely remember James kissing me goodbye. And when my alarm went off at 7:30 I got up and stretched for a minute and was not thrilled. I didn't want to eat anything I just kind of felt miserable. But I had to get out of the house. And I got dressed and I like this outfit. I felt pretty cute in my rain boots. And I got a lot of compliments on the dress but I just felt kind of blood. Swollen and weird. I would tell nurse Joan how I was feeling with the high enzyme levels with my liver and she thinks that I could possibly have gallstones. So that's exciting.

I was very tired though when I left the house. It took me a minute to get settled in the car and then headed over to the y to get Dame and Jeniya.

I made them listen to my music today. Because I was not awake. And it wasn't a bad drive. We got to camp on time and we were early enough that there was still breakfast so it all ended up working out. I stopped at the art building before walking down there and I was pretty sure I knew what I was doing today and then went down to find out what the schedule of events was.

I have a nice conversation with the one cook that was out. He encouraged me to take a second sandwich and I said no at first but decided to go back and get a second one to save for later in case I didn't like the lunch. Because I really liked the sandwich. And that ended up being perfect because the lunch had so many onions in the vegetarian option and it made me very upset because I brought it to the attention of the kitchen staff and they were like oh yeah we've put onions in every vegetarian meal so far! Excellent. That's going to be wonderful for me.

Right away Alexi told me that the rental group that was there is doing service projects and was going to use the outside of my art building to cut wood. That's fine. But then I had to move my car. So I started walking over to do that and that's when I ran into Ellen! I was so excited to see her. She's been in the Dominican Republic since last summer and tears just everywhere. And it was just such a good hug and I was just so happy to see her. We caught up for a few minutes but then I let her go because I know she had other people to talk to. And I went up to the art building.

There was another car there and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to get my car out but it ended up being fine. It was the rental group's car. And chatted with them for a little while and told them which outlets actually worked for their extension cord. And soon Alexi came up with another extension cord for them. And then she said we had to all meet on the field to do emergency procedure stuff.

After we did our camp fall in explanation for the new people I went to the front to just stand by Ellen cuz I did not want to participate in the games that we were playing. I'm just not a game's person and I tried the other day and I saw black spots for a half an hour and I don't want to do that. So I tapped out and just chatted with Ellen.

And eventually the sky started to get very dark. To the point where they were like we cannot be on the field anymore. Thunder started and we all went to the lodge and that the rental group started to find places for shelter.

And all that would have been fine if I had my backpack. But I had left it up to start building. With my phone and my knitting and I was so upset. And I told Chris that if I did not go get back and get it I would fall asleep at the table. And he kind of laughed but I don't think he realized I was serious. I tried my best to pay attention but it was a struggle for sure.

When we finally had a few minute break I went up to the art building, with a permission of Joan who said that the thunder and lightning wasn't too bad and I would probably be fine. And got my stuff. And when I got up there I found that all of the rental group that had been working on the wood project was sitting in my building! Which is fine but I was very surprised to see them.

A couple of them asked about my knitting and one of them told me they left my outfit and my look and they thought I was so cool. And I was like oh my god thank you. Because I was feeling very bad about myself today. And soon enough I had to say goodbye and headed back down to the lodge.

I worked on my knitting for a bit but very soon we were able to head out to do any kind of prep things that we needed. Specifically me and specialty staff had a meeting.

But I was leading the workshop portion of that meeting with all of that lovely writing I did the other day and Cody didn't know about it so he did not print it out so I asked him to do that before we had the meeting and he did and we went to the art building. Me, Celia, Annabelle, Cody, and eventually Ty, who had been on the porch of the office. So Cody went and got him and we went up to chat.

And overall it was very productive. I think my workshop went really well of just some ways of doing the programs and best practices and Cody backed me up on a lot of things. Everyone had good questions and mostly they're all nervous about their lesson planning and getting into that kind of work. Totally understandable. And then Cody handed out our schedules. They're tentative but they are rough. We have one program in the morning and then four in the afternoon. With very little time in between. And he suggested some changes but the office is not going for it. At the end of the day me and him would sit down and we think we found a solution to cut off the last hour of the day so that it's not as intense but it's still pretty bad and there is basically no time for us to go swimming or anything like that and that's pretty upsetting. So we'll see what happens but it's rough.

The other issue though was we still did not know exactly what Annabelle is doing. We asked if she was doing early American craft and Cody said no but then the opposite yes and then Annabelle was like well I thought I was doing theme crafts and then he's like yeah but then we're not having a leader for that and I'm like but I thought that was the change that was being made. And I'm just all confused. I thought we were completely getting rid of them and turning it into a craft project that was led but apparently not. I don't understand. It's not on the schedule so I don't get it.

Which led to tears later on in the day when me and Annabelle talked and I was just like here are some ideas for things that you could do if you are doing early American craft because the office is saying that's what you're doing. But I have arts and crafts all planned and I feel like someone is going to ask me to swap. To just bite the bullet and teach early American crafts and give up my art program and I will quit before that. it's not a threat it's a promise. I don't want to give up a job I love but I will give up a job that does not respect me enough to let me do the thing that I was hired to do. And that's a boundary that I'm not going to break.

I don't think it's going to come to that but I have suspicions that it might even be asked of me. I would be shocked because I don't believe that they would act that way but they also don't like conflict. So who knows.

And then lunch upset me because of the onion thing so I left and went and worked in your building. And eventually a couple people told me that there were packages for me at the office and it was my art supplies and was really excited about that. So I went down to get them and then I saw a couple of the girls that were coming to help me in the art building and they walked over to help me carry the boxes.

And these girls were so helpful. They helped me cut all the fabric that I needed for two whole projects and a couple of the other girls helped collect sticks for my looms and everything was just great. I was having a great time up there. And we worked up there for a few hours while I put things away and organized and it was just a really productive afternoon and that felt really nice.

At 3:30 we went back down to the office for a final meeting of the day. And that's when I chatted with Cody for a bit about the schedules and we think we have a solution. It's not a perfect solution but it is something. And very soon after that I went up to the art building to find Dame who was ready to go.

I was also ready to go but I didn't know where Jeniya was. Turns out she had been up at horses all day long. Which is fine. I don't care what she is she's an adult. But while we waited for her to come back down with her things I did a little bit more organizing and tentative schedule stuff and then we were on the road.

We got back to the YMCA without any problems. There was a little bit of slow down on the highway but I took a different way and didn't have to go all the way down historic Charles which I hate so it was much better. And I dropped them off and I was home by 5:30.

when I got back to your James was doing their podcast. And I jumped right into a project that I had started last night. I got a new little jumpsuit but the legs are too long and too wide. I tried hem them last night but it didn't work right. So today I cut and then him them and it worked so much better and I think it's going to become one of my favorite things to wear this summer. At least at home. It might be a little too sheer in the sun for camp. But I'm still thrilled.

James and me would talk for a little while in bed and then they made me a quesadilla for dinner. And I got to work on more of my CPR training. All of the adult CPR is done. Next is child CPR. And then it's going to be general first aid. I also got another email tonight though about another youth CPR something that I think I have to do I'm not clear about that yet. But regardless I'm making great progress. Even though there are 80 parts of this first aid training.

I would take a shower eventually. And that's when I decided to cut my hair because it's driving me insane. And now I'm just chilling in the AC and James is getting ready for bed and soon we will be asleep.

Tomorrow is a very full day. We have Farmers market in the morning and then I'm hoping to come home and take a little nap. And maybe wash my hair. I have not decided yet. And then James will be home by 3ish and we will get dressed all nice and then we are going back to camp. For Cate's wedding!! I'm so excited for her. I'm also just excited to go to a wedding. She's having a private ceremony but then the reception is going to be at the pool house and it's going to be beautiful and I'm so happy for her.

So wish us luck and wish her congratulations. Good night everybody. Be safe!

[lighthousenewsnetwork]

SOUTH BEND, IN — In a bold and unprecedented move, Notre Dame Head Coach Marcus Freeman declared that tonight’s National Championship game against Ohio State will be different from all others. The secret? For the first time in decades, the Fighting Irish have brought the “right playbook.” “Last year, we accidentally brought the menu from Applebee’s,” Freeman confessed in a pre-game press conference, holding a binder that looked suspiciously like a laminated Cheesecake Factory menu. “But this year, we’re ready. We’ve got tabs. We’ve got diagrams. We’ve even got footnotes. This playbook’s legit.” The announcement sent shockwaves through the college football world, with analysts struggling to comprehend what impact a fully operational playbook might have on Notre Dame’s performance. Over the years, the team has developed a reputation for innovative, if unconventional, strategies, like the infamous “Hail Mary-and-hope-for-the-best” offense and the “Let’s-confuse-them-with-Irish-dance” defensive line. But Freeman believes those days are behind them. “We’ve learned from our mistakes,” Freeman said. “I can’t go into details, but I’ll just say this: we’ve upgraded from doodles on napkins to actual X’s and O’s. The X’s are even in bold.” A History of Questionable Decisions Notre Dame’s checkered history with playbooks has been an open secret in college football. In 2021, their so-called “Triangle Offense” was revealed to be inspired by the geometry homework of a coach’s nephew. The following year, their “Bend and Break” defensive strategy confused no one more than their own players, who bent so often they appeared to be auditioning for a Cirque du Soleil performance. Even their pre-game rituals have raised eyebrows. For years, the team’s tradition of touching the “Play Like a Champion Today” sign was followed by a less-publicized second ritual: flipping a coin to decide whether to punt or pass on first down. “This isn’t a game of chance anymore,” Freeman assured reporters. “This is a game of preparation, discipline, and, most importantly, a playbook that doesn’t have a coupon for free breadsticks.” Ohio State Responds Ohio State, meanwhile, is taking the news in stride. “We’re prepared for anything,” said Buckeyes Head Coach Ryan Day, who reportedly spent the last week re-watching Notre Dame’s previous games on 2x speed to catch every ill-conceived lateral and botched punt fake. “Last year, they started the game with a surprise punt on second down. If they’ve actually figured out how to use a playbook, well, that’s new territory for all of us.” Ohio State fans, famous for their near-religious devotion to the word “THE,” are equally unfazed. “Notre Dame can bring whatever playbook they want,” said one fan, wearing a sweater embroidered with “THE National Champions of THE Universe.” “As long as we’ve got our Buckeyes, our traditions, and our unnecessarily bedazzled championship belt, we’re good.” Pre-Game Rituals Intensify Freeman also confirmed that Notre Dame’s pre-game mass includes a new prayer tailored specifically for tonight’s game. “Dear Lord,” it begins, “grant us the wisdom to read our own playbook and the strength to not get Ohio Stated.” The team’s chaplain has reportedly blessed each copy of the playbook and, for good measure, added a little holy water to the Gatorade cooler. “We’re covering all our bases,” said Freeman. “When you’re up against Ohio State, divine intervention never hurts.” Ohio State’s rituals, by contrast, include rubbing the Buckeye tree for luck and sending Michigan fans daily reminders of who’s not playing in the championship. “It’s tradition,” said one Buckeye superfan. “And it’s petty. But mostly it’s tradition.” What’s at Stake The stakes couldn’t be higher for Freeman and his team. “We’re not just playing for a championship,” Freeman declared, his voice cracking with emotion. “We’re playing for everyone who’s ever doubted us. For everyone who said we peaked in the ‘80s. And for everyone who thought the ‘Triangle Offense’ was just a cool name for a Doritos flavor.”

When asked if he was nervous, Freeman replied confidently, “Not at all. And even if this doesn’t work, at least this playbook doubles as a guide to the best happy hour spots in South Bend.” Tune In Tonight So, will Notre Dame’s new playbook finally break their championship drought, or will Ohio State continue their reign of dominance? Either way, one thing’s certain: America deserves this drama. Grab your snacks, charge your remote, and prepare for a game where anything could happen—especially if Freeman starts calling audibles based on the dessert section. https://lighthousenewsnetwork.com/notre-dame-coach-marcus-freeman-seeks-breakthrough/?feed_id=13525&_unique_id=678ece5999ea2

[focusnicole]

oct. 14, 2024

tried my best to be productive today, but i was so sleepy!! i did get to start my day with waking up next to my boyfriend which is always nice ♡

it was one of my roommate’s birthdays today, so my other roommate made us all tortellini soup and brownies and i could not be happier (´ᵔ⤙ᵔ`) there was a little bookmark making event i ran to after dinner, but aside from that and class i’ve been staring at my computer screen all day, willing my assignment to complete itself. i’ve made good progress on it over the past few days, but i have so much to work on these next few weeks that its hard to sit and focus on just one at a time. i may just also be under caffeinated… the wonders of being adhd lol. 

The course catalog for next semester’s classes opened today, and i managed to lay out all the classes i want to take next semester! i still need to chat with my advisor, but i plan to take at least two 300 level classes and two classes required for my major __φ(．．)

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿ヽ(°□° )ノ︵‿︵‿︵‿︵  i will make it through this month !!!!!!!!!!

✦ got done ;

(mostly) finished video for art midterm

did reading and annotations for creative writing

took quiz on last segment of notre dame de paris

starting laying out my essay for art + found sources

managed not to have a panic meltdown (always a win)

laundry

✦ the best parts ;

yummy soup and brownies 

my cute bookmark

chat sessions about random things

course catalogs

videostar 

birthday parties

quarter zips and low-rise jeans

morning kisses

✦ trackers ;

sleep: 8 hrs

water: 34 / 68 oz

protein: 63 / 75 g

study hours: roughly 4 hours

screen time: 6 hrs 39 mins

[hoagmaster]

September 8, 2024

What's this now? It's been a spell since I posted here. And no rapid-fire catchup? Well, this goes in line with that I've hinted at in past posts.

See, most of them read the same, don't they? "I went to work, things were slow, I played this game, I faced off with this existential crisis." I felt like things were rarely out of the ordinary. And I don't want to just feel like things are dull and repetitive (not when I potentially have an audience), so that's why unless something super urgent or otherwise pops up, I think I'm going to make these weekly now, likely posted on Sunday evenings. That should work better!

In any case, it was a doozy of a workweek. After the holiday it was smack into preparing for the local fair in town and my department had to set up a booth and whole presence there. Figures some staff didn't want to play ball, but I think we still set up a good booth and got a good turnout. It also gave me plenty of time to go check out the sights and eat some of the snacks on show. My feet were killing me on more than one day, but that's fine because it's one of my Apple Watch goals for the month to walk a lot. That definitely helped! The side hustle stuff was also pretty routine, so not much to report there.

So what did I play this week? Here's another area where I could switch things up. Fewer posts of Balatro going forward maybe! Well, I'd say the one that stood out was starting Pacific Drive. It's a game where you...drive in the Pacific Northwest. But because that place is just rife for mystery and intrigue, stuff starts to happen and you're stuck investigating. And you've got to tune up your car for the journey, which adds some nice management mechanics to the mix. Then the act of driving and looking around can be pretty engaging even if I am early on. I'd like to keep playing this one. Elsewhere, there was stuff for the Steam Deck like Fallout: New Vegas and Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 along with scouting out sales for games I otherwise can't play (the whole reason I bought this thing). Then some Pizza Tower and Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on the Switch.

Then it was a trip up north today to help with some family deals. Yeah, we skipped the first day of NFL stuff but I don't feel like I missed anything. But the college football slate yesterday was rad. #5 Notre Dame went down and messed with the rankings, which I always support. Arizona State held off a late rally. And the overall atmosphere was just more exciting and satisfying than the other sport. Baseball was a mixed bag this week, but there's more of it coming up!

It felt good to do a few things and also get supplies for someone. I'm sure there will be more chances to do so, especially with fall rapidly approaching. And I wonder how much of fall stuff I've missed in past years just wasting away in front of the TV with RedZone. I'm sure football days will still happen, but for now, maybe Sundays will be a mite more productive.

And that's all for this extended version. Hope you have a good week coming up!