#but today is PARTICULARLY bad

[coffee-in-that-nebula]

Oh what a bad day I’m having today

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[canisalbus]

hey just wanted to say I hope you're doing ok, I haven't seen your gay dogs in a while and I miss them and you 💛 obv you don't have to post if you're not feeling it, but just know that someone in another country is thinking nice things at you

Aaa thank you! It genuinely warms my heart to hear that you still occasionally think of me even though I've been laying low for a while now.

I'm doing a little bit better now compared to last month, there's been some positive progress, but still struggling with a lot of fundamental daily things.

Thank you for checking up on me, I appreciate it. I hope you have a nice weekend ´v`

[googoothegodofblood]

A little fanart for @fluffyglass of their little bug baby and her mama : -) Yolka number one

[isbergillustration]

Æeugh

[non-un-topo]

All it takes is a wee little nightmare to make you too scared to step foot outside for fear of Bad Things happening, like it’s an omen lol

[someprettyname]

I've been having constant headache since like last 4 days

[torchickentacos]

If anyone else's windows device taskbar has been giving them too much world health news and prompting anxiety spirals, you can turn this thing off:

by right-clicking any blank part of the task bar, hitting this:

and turning this off.

Signed, 'oh my god I already mask indoors every day and live in constant fear of my jacked up immune system leading to my untimely demise, please stop telling me about fun new diseases'.

[sillimancer]

I think if you are a library and don't have an ebook that should be illegal. when you open a library they should just give you infinity copies of every possible ebook for free.

[seiya-starsniper]

.

[kaeyapilled]

i particularly think kaveh has zero muscle. you can't even argue that he has to be strong in the arms since he wields a claymore because well. he doesn't wield it. mehrak does basically everything and this isnt slander work smarter not harder hes extremely right about this. and anyways alhaitham is 100% a gym bro. he misses leg day sadly but he does have some muscle in the arms there. uhhhhh i lost track of what my point here was. i dont know. i guess something something character foils mirrors of each other (hates physical activity X is extremely annoying about going to the gym)

[outlying-hyppocrate]

well. did you fucking miss me.

[raiiny-bay]

the final evolution

[finniestoncrane]

adding a threesome with william wintergreen and rick flag sr to my wish list for the holidays, someone get me in an old man sandwich please!!

[peachdoxie]

Oh well fuck me and my entire family I guess

[dudeshusband]

it's our anniversary so why not