#but three of them? absolutely. they are the ultimate d&d party

[laurelindebear]

Saturday nights have been D&D/TTRPG night for...a long long time now. But at the moment I'm not taking part, and it feels...weird, and sad. My group is still going, but about a month ago, before we went on our trip away, the session ended with something of a falling out and it brought to a head all the problems that have been building up for me for awhile. Rant and just...being sad below.

The group consists of 7-8 people: myself, my husband, his brother (and sometimes sister in law), and four of our friends. Husband and brother in law normally take turns DMing. They're both pretty good DMs, but we use a lot of homebrew and allow a lot of stuff that isn't in the rules, and power creep has become a real thing.

Main problem I have is that at this point, three of the (currently) seven people are actively harming the fun for me. One of the people is husband's oldest friend and they used to be closer but they don't have so much in common now. They have always been annoying (eg calling us on the phone every single day when we first got married, before always-online services). Despite having played TTRPGs for decades, they never remember what their spells or abilities do, whether we're playing, what time we start, etc. They and they alone have trouble with the dice room (somewhat conveniently - we swapped to using a room with dice rollers years ago in part because we simply didn't believe their actual rolls with physical dice (we're playing on voice, not in person) - they're also a habitual liar about pointless things like that. Maybe most annoying is that they are always playing another game at the same time (usually World of Warcraft), and not something that's easy to tab out of, or which only uses half your brain. I level fishing etc while playing a lot, because it's so boring otherwise, but it doesn't take my attention. But because of this, they are only ever half-aware of what's going on, at best. They get bored of their characters before the end of every campaign, without fail, and often have them get killed off/reroll in stupid ways because they think its funny.

Person two is a friend who is just kind of obsessed with finding ways to 'break' and game the system to make their character overpowered. At the end of a previous campaign they decided they were going to one-shot kill the ultimate big bad by summoning a herd of...oxen or something way above the guy's head and dropping them on him for massive damage, because it was funny. It only half-worked, partly because the DM wasn't keen on having the final battle go that way, I think, but you get the idea. This time they're trying a multiclass build specifically to do ludicrous amounts of damage every fight, which works because of the way we handle short and long rests and healing. Then there's the fact that all their characters are super greedy and have to loot everything, even when it's detrimental to the party; and that their go-to special thing to do to anyone they don't like or anyone we need to question is to shove stuff up the person's butthole. (They also enjoy being very cold and evilish and acting without consulting the group.)

Person three is my BIL who I've talked about before. Sometimes we get on ok. But we have very different values and we can clash a lot. He's borderline obsessed with the military and military loyalty, and he's actively proud and defensive of British colonialism. (!!!!) He also is very precious about male gaze, and criticism thereof, to the point of acting very personally offended and harmed by how 'women on television/ in films/ in games can't have big boobs now.' In this campaign he's been very metagamey, where no matter what we encounter (we're jumping between universes) he knows exactly who and what everything is and doesn't hesitate to explain it all to us. He may have encyclopedic knowledge of all TTRPG systems and critters, but his character absolutely wouldn't. He's also very bossy; he gets cross if he feels he's the only one putting forward plans and strategy, but as often as not when anyone does suggest a plan, he immediately jumps in to say how terrible it is and why it won't work - even if it will. He's loud and can be aggressive and I'm pretty shit at assertiveness, although sometimes if my husband is DMing he'll actually tell me, off mic, that my plan/idea is a good one and to keep going with it regardless of BIL's dismissals. In this last campaign especially, he's been obsessive about sex and boobs and everyone in the party getting laid every adventure, when that's really not what most of us are about.

Anyway, the last game I played turned into a mess because we got transported to your typical 'warworld coliseum battle royale' type world run by a super powerful wizard or lich or something. We were fighting some of the guy's minions and doing ok, but Powergamer decided it was too dangerous and taking too long so he tried to attack the big boss, despite hints from the DM (husband) that it wasn't a great plan. As a result we all got Meteor Swarm-ed and Doesn't Pay Attention died (again).

As we were in the process of escaping, I had a wild thought to try to pickpocket the boss, or maybe sneak something from his balcony while he wasn't there - I was playing a rogue and my stealth and sleight of hand were very good. I mention this in just a thinking out loud way, and get screamed at by BIL because 'THIS IS A LEVEL 36 MAGE CASTING LEVEL 18 FIREBALLS, OF COURSE HE'LL BE ABLE TO SEE INVISIBLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING' etc etc. Somehow when other players do something bonkers and risky - say, diving off a zeppelin into a tower window, telefragging a castle, or using a weird demonic artifact to bring a Mecha Joan of Arc back to life, whose programming is essentially to destroy all humanoid life - it's more likely to be taken as funny, or 'haha it's your funeral but do whatever', but for me, no, I'm an idiot and how dare I even think about doing that random thing? Nevermind that neither his character nor anyone else would know what 'level' the bad guy was because that's not how RP works, characters don't have stat books on them! I lost my temper and just said something like 'ok well I try and I'm dead then, forget it', and left the channel, and I haven't been back.

So now I'm without a group, and...it sucks. My husband is sad, and I'm sad. But I don't want my RP games to be all powergaming and sexual assault and celebrations of colonialism and getting shouted at. It's not fun. And it just wasn't fun...but I wish it were. It so often has been. Maybe it will be again. But right now I feel lost and a little bit alone and it's coming at really the worst possible time, with autumn being a historically very shitty time for me and this year with my stress about politics making me both physically and mentally unwell on the daily.

[i0veless]

➛ MARCUS RASHFORD ABC (FLUFF EDITON)

𖥻 WARNINGS ー [ none ] 𖥻 AUTHORS NOTE ー [ requested by @lcvertrl "can you do abc fluff for marcus rashford" okay I am not a united fan by any means but to celebrate them winning a trophy (finally) heres come rashford content ]

➛ previous | taglist | masterlist | next

a :: attractive ➛ what do they find attractive about the other?

you found his confidence and his sense of humour attractive, while he thought your eyes and your smile were adorable.

b :: baby ➛ do they want a family? why/why not?

later down the line absolutely. but not just yet, they wanna get the timing right as having a child is a big step in their relationship. I feel like marcus would want to be a girl dad but ultimately he couldn't mind as long as you were happy.

c :: camera ➛ how do they document their relationships? who likes to take pictures? or videos?

marcus has multiple folders on his phone dedicated to photos of you doing anything to everything. probably prefers taking photos but has his fair share of videos too. while you, on the other hand not so much sure there may be a few but not nearly as many as marcus.

d :: dates ➛ what are their dates like?

a mixed bag really, but leaning towards the more classic romantic date. dinner (more to going out than staying in), picnics, beach days, spa nights and going on short holidays abroad, being a few.

e :: early ➛ what was the first month of dating like?

easygoing and light-hearted. taking time to get to know each other and savouring the small moments. dates almost twice a week, self-care night while watching movies after a tough match.

f :: friends ➛ how is their relationship with each other’s group of friends?

his friends like you instantly. They could tell how happy their friend was with you. you also had a similar sense of humour and were easy to gel with. but your friends, on the other hand, were a bit more hesitant. they made him earn their approval, as they were still under the impression that he was just another fuck boy footballer.

g :: gifts ➛ do they like giving each other gifts? what kind?

expensive. yet still sentimental, designers are a must and anything you want you will get. but will still give you the occasional very thought-out gift that will leave you short of breath and teary eyes.

h :: hugs ➛ all things involving hugs

back hug. the best kind. marcus is taller than you, so naturally, your body just sinks into his chest and softens under his warm embrace, which will probably lead to cuddling on the sofa. but he also is an avid enjoyed of all things hugs as closeness is something he loves to share with you.

i :: impression ➛ what was their first impression?

neutral, you were introduced by a mutual friend at a party, and the two of you weren't exactly sober. so the alcohol may have been the one swaying you to say it was a good one. but the first sober encounter was a good one at one of his matches after winning an important match.

j :: jealousy ➛ who gets jealous easier? how do they show their jealousy?

I would say that neither of you is really jealous unless someone is overstepping the boundaries. marcus is protective of you, not in an overbearing way but in a way that he cares for your safety and never wants you to feel uncomfortable by the advances made on him or you.

k :: kiss ➛ how do they kiss? who usually initiates?

depends if their in a rush, short and sweet pecks on the lips or checks. but if they have time-long and sensual kisses filled with passion and as for who initiates them, I would say it's 50/50 you are both comfortable with sharing intimacy and aren't afraid of expressing your physical affection for them.

l :: love ➛ how do they first say those three words?

marcus didn't really plan it he just stated it out there after spending a night together. and he had you smiling like an idiot, and of course, you said it back, and the rest is history.

m :: memory ➛ what’s their favourite memory together?

after winning the carbo cup, marcus couldn't keep his hands off you the whole night was spent with his teammates and you as you celebrated the well-deserved win, and it was also the night that marcus proposed.

n :: nicknames ➛ things they call each other

marcus would definitely call you stuff like angel, darling, baby, my love. while I feel like marcus loves nicknames on you he would hate them on himself the only few exceptions being babe and rashy otherwise just call him by his name.

o :: one ➛ tell us about the moment they realized they were with the one

a cold winter night, and marcus and you were watching a movie, the nightmare before christamas and the two of you were arguing if it was a charismas or halloween movie. as the two of you plead your case, rashford couldn't help but watch how you matched his intensity and passion. and it was there, and then he knew you were the one.

p :: pda ➛ public displays of affection between the two

not super public but also not afraid to show people you are his; holding hands is common, and maybe a peck on the lips as well. as sometimes may make out with you in a dark ally way if drunk enough. hand on waist, 24/7.

q :: quite ➛ do they break up? almost break up? what happened?

Low points in marcus's career would definitely strain the two of you, and would it lead to a breakup? maybe if the two of you do not address the issues and continue to ignore them. also, the media constantly talks about marcus and other women. which would make anyone insecure in their own right.

r :: romance ➛ how romantic are they? what would they do to make their partner happy? cliché or rather creative?

very romantic. just like the movies. marcus is a gentleman first footballer later. and knows how to treat his partner. maybe very cliche and predictable but it still makes you happy.

s :: support ➛ are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?

100% supportive of each other no matter what they choose to do, even if it's without each other, and support each other publicly and privately, being an honest opinion if they ever need it.

t :: texting ➛ do they text each other a lot? What do they usually talk about over the phone?

when marcus is abroad for a match, they text all the time, not so much as call (maybe once or twice), but they def do check-ins though out the day otherwise, not so much. I imagine the two of you moved in together when it started getting serious, so there was no need to text when you were face-to-face 24/7.

u :: unique ➛ tell us about a habits that they have

marcus wakes up super early and always makes breakfast even if he has training. while you on the other hand are obsessed with soft things and marcus may or may not feed into that when he buys you gifts.

v :: vanity ➛ something they’re proud of in themselves and their partner

shows off his partner every time he gets, talk about them like they have done it all. But when it comes to himself marcus is very humble even though you do brag a fair bit about his achievements.

w :: wedding ➛ tell us about your wedding head canon if they’ve gotten that far. or if not, have they talked about it?

definitely getting married, similar to their thoughts on having kids. they want it, but not just yet. they are both young and have a lot to live for, so they don't want to rush it and possibly fuck up the relationship. but eventually, they will tie the knot with a low wedding with a lot of high-profile guests.

x :: x ➛ something they hate about the other

you greatly value alone time, and sometimes marucs may not take the hint, which leads to a bit of agitation but nothing the two can't solve. and it's a no-brainer that marcus is very busy, so sometimes he hates when you sometimes give him a hard time for 'not putting in effort' but once again his scedual is clear he will spend all the time in the world making it up to you.

y :: youtube ➛ what are they like online? Do they post about their relationship constantly?

you and marcus are both very busy, yet you still find a way to post about each other constantly. whether it's an insta story, tiktok, or tweet, you keep some part of your relashiship private to avoid the public knowing everything about your two relationships.

z :: zoo ➛ are they into animals? Do they want pets? What kind?

marcus is definitely more of a dog person. He already has a dog (saint), and I think he would want a couple more, but I can't see the two of you going past three. As it is a lot of effort to maintain dogs, but overall very much enjoys keeping them as part of his family.

[zukadiary]

Anastasia (Umeda Arts, 2023)

I’m flattered that the overwhelming response to my poll was to bring back reviews :D Since I posted that, Takarazuka has unfortunately been involved in a terrible tragedy (additional information here). I may review the Takarazuka performances I was able to see at a later date, but at the moment I’m going to take some space from doing so.

In the meantime, a very bright spot in a long-awaited trip otherwise filled with multiple bouts of shocking news was the Broadway musical Anastasia, featuring Asami Hikaru (my ご贔屓, kamioshi, bias to end all biases, for those who joined during COVID and somehow missed this) amidst a rather star-studded cast. Getting to see Anastasia was quite special, not only because it’s been 4 1/2 years since I was last able to travel to Japan and see Komu, but also because I HAD tickets to the original Spring 2020 run before, well, you know (not to mention the ruined plans to see fave #2 as the same role in the tkz version). On top of that, it was good.

The Broadway version of Anastasia follows two con men in post-revolution Russia, Dmitri and Vlad, who, amidst rumors that Anastasia Romanov has somehow survived the execution of the rest of the royal family, accidentally find the real one while auditioning actresses to pretend to be her for reward money.

Given that my bias to end all biases taidan’d 17 years ago, I’ve seen my fair share of Japanese theater outside of Takarazuka in my quest to spend as much time in her presence as humanly possible. Usually, I find the non-OG cast members (especially men!!) unimpressive to the point of superfluousness. Imagine my shock when I found myself raising my opera glasses when Komu wasn’t even on stage.

Ranking!!

Anya: Aoi Wakana / Kinoshita Haruka

Anya is a poor street sweeper with amnesia who has a feeling SOMEONE is waiting for her in Paris (turns out it’s her grandmother, the dowager empress). I was supposed to see each actress twice, but due to the flu making its rounds through the cast, I ended up seeing Wakana three times and Haruka only once… which is unfortunate, because Haruka is an absolute powerhouse, and Wakana is a TV actress. The cast lineup for my first of four viewings was absolutely flawless, and I wish it had been the finale instead (especially because I was in shock from Sora taidan dropping like 3 hours prior to curtain). Haruka has a Broadway-quality voice, and her acting not only made sense, but also lacked that peculiar anime-like delivery that most of the Japanese actors I’ve seen have in spades (IYKYK). Although perhaps she returned from flu recovery too quickly and didn’t have her whole voice, Wakana’s singing wasn’t really up to the challenge of the role; all of Anya’s big solo’s were rendered anticlimactic by very flat long notes. I also found her acting to be over the top and desperate, whereas Haruka’s was quite nuanced.

Dmitri: Kaiho Naoto / Aiba Hiroki / Utsumi Akiyoshi

Dmitri is the romantic lead, something of a street urchin who starts off by hatching a moneymaking scheme to produce a fake Anastasia, and ultimately gives it all up after falling in love with Anya. I got to see Kaiho and Aiba, and to be honest, the only reason I’m not mad I had to see Aiba once is because that day Kaiho Naoto was Gleb. I know I am very late to this party, but this was the first time I got to see Kaiho Naoto live, and hooooooooooo boy. That man’s voice gave me chills, he acts like a normal person and not a cartoon, and his facial expressions are SO dynamic. His fans in the FIRST ROW had their opera glasses up, and now I take back making fun of them in my head. Incredible casting choice for Dmitri; he did an amazing job going through the full range of emotions and showing character growth, plus he looked so good in that scruffy little outfit. Tbh, marry me (Aiba on the other hand was an anime boy made flesh and blood and I can’t say I cared for it).

Vlad: Osumi Kenya / Ishikawa Zen

Vlad is Dmitri’s old man friend, a former aristocrat and adulterous lover to Lily. This one is slightly less cut and dry because both actors had their merits, but alas, I’m a big Ishikawa Zen fan. Osumi Kenya is a dancer and Zen is not, and that was quite apparent in any scene with choreography. Other than that, I quite preferred Zen’s knockout voice, nuanced acting, and overflowing kindness. He’s irl bffs with Komu, so I found his Vlad’s chemistry with Lily to be more compelling; but he also integrated himself seamlessly into each cast, despite that I imagine it’s tricky to get the best possible rapport going when the roles are changing all the time. Osumi definitely gave his Vlad quite a bit of enjoyable energy and unique flair, but ultimately, I thought his Vlad was a bit over the top (he’d be a huge hit in a kids’ show), and he seemed to be acting next to rather than with the rest of the cast.

Gleb: Kaiho Naoto / Douchin Yoshikuni / Tashiro Mario

Gleb, a Bolshevik general trying to fill the shoes of his father who relished executing the Romanov family, is the villain of the show. I was SUPPOSED to see all three Glebs, and I’m quite sad I didn’t, but the flu took Tashiro Mario. I ended up seeing Douchin three times and Kaiho once. This is REALLY HARD, and it’s likely impossible to separate out my feelings toward Kaiho’s Gleb in isolation, because Dmitri, without Kaiho in the role, was not compelling, so the overall impact of the show was less on the not-Douchin day. Kaiho showed up again with the voice that gives you chills, and while his performance throughout most of the show was a bit more low-key, his final scene, in which he attempts to get Anya to admit she’s playing around and return to Russia lest he be forced to shoot her on the spot if she is in fact the real Anastasia, was ABSOLUTELY FUCKING UNHINGED (spit flying everywhere, no wonder everyone got sick). Douchin, however, also has quite a powerful voice, and I think overall he did a better job of coming off as creepy and weird. He was awkward in kind of an is-this-guy-ok way, his barely concealed feelings for Anya were both clearer and more unsettling, and he felt believably indoctrinated into an ideology vs. just this is the villain because we said he’s the villain. His slick, jet-black hair and choice to wear light blue colored contacts also really enhanced the evil image. I really regret not getting to see Tashiro Mario, but I think my ever so slight preference here is Douchin just because his presence balanced the rest of the cast.

Lily: Asami Hikaru / Marcia / Horiuchi Keiko

Lily is the dowager empress's lady-in-waiting, a former countess who, in her younger days, cheated on her boring husband with Vlad and is currently tending to the dowager empress in refugee-laden Paris. LBR, I didn’t fly across the world to see the other two (although 3 or so days into my trip there was a SCARE where Komu was announced out with an injury, and I thought I might have to… but she recovered in time for my first show!). Ohhhh it was so nice, I missed her more than my COVID-era complacence led me to believe. Lily was a very fun and pleasant Komu role for me. Homegirl is 51 now (don’t talk to me) and fresh taidansha like Tamaki Ryou are getting the heroines she played a decade and a half ago, but Lily isn’t exactly someone’s mom either. She’s funny, and sassy, and wears sick costumes, and has DANCE NUMBERS! Which she did without looking injured at all! With the exception of like 20 seconds in the prologue, Lily does not appear at all until Act 2, but Act 2 is very juicy. I think I liked the look-Vlad’s-back tango even better than her piano-top nightclub solo, but both were utterly delightful. She also has great chemistry with her Yukigumi top senpai Asami Rei, comfortable yet reverent (just like in real life!). I juuuUUUUuuUUUUuuuSsstttt wish they would lower the key for her… just a little… as a treat.........

Dowager Empress Maria: Asami Rei (more like Asami SLAY)

Y’all… seeing Asami Rei live has BEEN on my bucket list, and the experience did not disappoint. Her voice may be going, but it’s completely age appropriate, and she could have done literally anything up on that stage without it ruining the impact of her presence. I legit inadvertently gasped "mother" into my mask when she made her appearance in a black and silver bejeweled gown to attend the ballet… serving boatloads of charisma uniqueness nerve and talent at 73, to say the least.

The ensemble was also a force and the songs were expertly directed, giving the whole show a stunning sound that has been rare in my experience with Japanese musicals (part vocal talent, part book made for Broadway). The play-within-a-play scene at the ballet was genuinely impressive (it's been a while since I've seen a man jump that high). All in all, a treat to watch!

[lipstickmarks]

Single Dad!Aaron Thorsen

okay ever since the UC episode where aaron’s cover was pushing a stroller, i can’t help but think of him being a single dad 🥺🍼

i feel like it would happen accidentally (aaron strikes me as a plan b as his only form of contraceptive kinda guy)

maybe a fling with an actress who’s way more famous than him (bonus points if everyone starts fangirling when she comes to midwilshire to tell him the news) ((extra extra bonus points if it’s an actual celebrity cameo like Lana Condor, Hailey Seinfeld, Chloe Bailey, Amandla Stenberg, Grace Van Dien, Brenda Song, Selena Gomez, etc.))

she tells him she wants to have the baby but she’s constantly busy as an actress so he would have to be her primary caretaker (think of Castle’s arrangement with Alexis’ mom: he takes care of her and she pops in every few months or so)

aaron struggles with the decision because let’s face it- he’s really spoiled and has no idea how to take care of a kid. But, ultimately decided to have the baby because he’s had such a tumultuous adult life (patrick’s murder, being wrongfully imprisoned, etc) that he decide he deserves something good and pure in his life.

i feel like he’d be a girl dad🥹

he takes his daughter out on jogs with the most insanely expensive stroller

he would definitely name her something boujee and LA-chic like Aspen, Gigi, Nevaeh

bringing his little baby girl into the station for a visit (lucy would fawn all over her, angela would yell at him for not strapping her in right, and nyla would tell him if he even considers another babysitter other than Lila, she’ll strangle him)

he’d cut plans short just to come home in time to give her a bath 🛁

when the baby’s mom does come into town and aaron gets a baby-free week, he goes around the station bragging about all the stuff he’s gonna do (clubs, expensive dinners, beach trips, parties) and then cut to a shot of him asleep on the couch with a half-eaten box of cookies on his chest

end credit scenes where, after a really hard case, aaron comes home and goes straight for the nursery and picks his daughter up just to cradle her

cold open where the music is really tense and aaron is searching around a park late at night and we think it’s for a case, but he’s just searching for his daughter’s favorite stuffie that they left at the park

“7-Adam-100, we can call off the search. Binky Bear has been located.”

everytime the core group goes out to dinner, aaron’s there bouncing his baby on his knee in the cutest little outfit

Lucy: aww, I didn’t know they made knock-off Dior for babies

Aaron (offended): knock-off? this is real Dior

Lucy, Tim, Angela, Wesley, John, Bailey, Celina, Nyla, James: side eye… side eye

AUNTIE CELINA????? The three of them playing D&D and making a quest all about the baby and she has no idea what’s going on but is a giggling mess bc her daddy and auntie are making silly noises and giving her so much attention 🥺

NOLAN HELPING AARON BUILD HER NURSERY *PUNCHES A WALL*

OH and maybe after she’s first born, Aaron goes to James and asks his advice on being a single parent since and then they could have a really sweet dialogue about how it’s important to take care of yourself so you can be your best for your kids

So, this inspires him to move past his arguments with his mom and tap her in to help take care of the baby (you just know his mom would absolutely eat up being a grandma glamma)

at chenford’s wedding, there’s a shot of aaron dancing with her in the cutest little dress 😭 which then can segue way into chenford baby discussion!!

In conclusion, the people (me) deserve a girl!dad Aaron Thorsen storyline. His character got brushed aside as it is and something like this would help bring his backstory full circle. I also just want more aaron content bc I love him

*grabby hands*

[pyrrhicraven]

I want to see the ideas for your favourites!! :D

I have so many fandoms but here are a few ideas that have been roaming in my head, some of it is headcanon stuff but a few bits are story ideas. It's a bit long so it is all below the line lol

HEADCANON

Hellsing Ultimate: Alucard loves being in crowds of people and loves the glitter and glam of parties. He likes looking good and seducing others even if he doesn't actually do anything with them.

Yu Yu Hakusho: 1) Hiei will never admit not even on his deathbed that he likes Kuwabara's cats or in fact Kuwabara himself. Unless I'm writing Hiei/Kuwabara and then it's just the cats 🤣

2) Kurama and Yusuke have unresolved sexual tension, but won't ever say anything as long as Keiko is alive or dating Yusuke. 3) It takes Kuwabara way too long to figure out that Shizuru and Botan have a relationship, and Hiei asks him how he could be so blind? 4) If Yusuke and Keiko split she starts to date Yukina I will go down with this ship and the live-action 100% teased me about it.

Danny Phantom: 1) Danny and Tucker secretly like Justin Bieber, They won't tell Sam because Sam thinks Bieber is dumb (As a metal head I agree with Sam 🤣) Though she does like some of their other musical tastes whatever those might be. 2) Vlad likes "Tennessee Whiskey" by Chris Stapleton, and various jazz bands. 3) Jack is a rock n' roll kind of guy and Maddie is a big fan of hyperpop for some reason lol

STORY IDEA (Bits and Bobs)

Hellsing: Alucard attempts to Woo Enrico Maxwell as they have a strange sexual tension and Maxwell isn't nearly as straight as Alucard thought the man was. (The Blood Auctions subplot)

Yu Yu Hakusho: Hiei gets turned into a girl because of magic wagic and Kuwabara already attracted to Male Hiei is absolutely besotted. Which Hiei is annoyed by this because he doesn't want to be treated any different while they figure out how to change him back.

Little does he know that Kuwabara isn't just attracted to his girl form and when Kuwabara blurts it out Hiei is shocked. Kurama likens it to a boy pulling on a girl's pigtails. Which Keiko makes fun of Yusuke for because he did the same thing with her for a long time.

Danny Phantom: Danny gets pulled into an alternate timeline (DC) and finds out that while he doesn't exist In this world His family and Vlad do. Vlad is human in this world and isn't nearly obsessed with Maddie to the point he leads a normal life rather than being a stalker. He's been married at least three times and has two kids (basically Dani and Dan), and Maddie and Jack had Jazz but no Danny.

Super Mario Bros: Luigi has a bit of a problem, two enemies are flirting to high hell with him and Mario is completely making fun of him for it. A truce between the Dark Lands and the Mushroom Kingdom had already been worked out so Bowser was over more often and not to attack them. Peach finds it hilarious once she realizes that Bowser is very obviously flirting with Luigi. Even more so when King Boo at Bowser's behest to sign the treaty also flirts heavily with Luigi. Both want the man's attention and Luigi Poor bastard is utterly freaked out. Mario is more amused than Annoyed but still yells at the guys to knock it off and leave his twin the hell alone.

Miraculous Ladybug: Marinette and Felix get trapped by a train collision in an underground tunnel trapping them and other passengers. Felix finally fed up with Marinette being utterly blind to his advances tells her he likes her. She surprises him with a confession of her own. (I started this one, but ehhh I haven't written for it in a long time)

Another one is Marinette and Gabriel starting to see each other, but in their hero/villain costumes and talking about what they want from the world. Marinette is well aware that Hawkmoth is trying to save a life and this goes on for months before Marinette accidentally finds Gabriel shifting out of Hawkmoth. Starting a fight between them, where she tries to take the Butterfly pendent from him. Both are bruised and battered-panting for breath when Gabriel basically says fuck it and pulls her to him, Kissing her at the same time he allows her to take his pendant. Marinette unsure of his intentions runs off which he allows. More than aware that a relationship between them was basically impossible but hoped she'd come back and tell him how she felt.

TMNT: A story about Mikey becoming a super awesome stealthy Soot! His skills are legendary, and he does it for his family so they have enough money and because he likes the thrill and sometimes the stuff he steals. (A subplot for my fic Pac-Man)

Isakai: Slow Life: A new one for me but I've been playing this game for months lol I want to write a fic between Sadako and Dia. Both are ghosts, Sadako for you horror movie lovers is 100% the one from the Ring franchise but if she were a lady trapped in a mirror and kind? When I first saw her I knew but had to look up to make sure they had the same name which they do lol Funny choice for a romance game but to each their own at least she is pretty in it lol

Harry Potter: Vampire Harry Potter Takes Lucius Malfoy for one hell of a ride. The original idea was for Harry to basically fall into a blood lust and snap out of it before actually killing the man and then forcing him to swear that he'd serve Harry and not Tom Riddle. In return, Harry would protect him and his family.

Star Wars: Obi-Wan as a sith is confronted by a padawan Anakin Skywalker, who was separated from his Master Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan remembers when he used to be Qui-Gon's Padawan before he was abandoned on Melida/Daan

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Okay, a few thoughts on the Semi Final 1 acts

1. Norway 🇳🇴 - Alessandra was kind of a let down. Maybe it's because she was opening the entire Contest and the show got to her but her performance at her national final remains superior. More energy, more passion and you could tell she was actually enjoying it. The crowd went crazy when they still hadn't announced her as a qualifier though so, obviously, she's still gonna do okay. But I saw a tweet that next year's Contest would definitely be held in one of the three Nordics of Semi 1. Not in Norway, I don't think.

2. Malta 🇲🇹 - Such a shame honestly. I can't see why this song never got the hype it deserved. It's peak Eurovision, it's fun and The Busker gave their everything on that stage. It's made even more frustrating because y'all know this would have qualified in the second Semi 🙂

3. Serbia 🇷🇸 - Wow. The crowd went absolutely crazy during Luke's performance. They even chanted the "secret" 'bitch' part 🤣 He really was great. I expect perhaps a bit more in the final now that's he's secured his place in it.

4. Latvia 🇱🇻 - I said it last night too, the last few seconds were they all sing / mouth the Latvian part were haunting. I almost teared up. But, yeah, ultimately I can also see why they didn't make it. Maybe a jury would have saved them but I don't think they would have gotten an overwhelming amount of points from them either because Remo would have syphoned them up, and as we saw he was still able to qualify on televoting alone so yeah.

5. Portugal 🇵🇹 - WOW. Miss girl. Miss mother. She brought her A+ game alright! Everyone has been hyping up her performance style since Festival da Canção and the pre parties. Because the song is only ok but her performance really elevates it to new heights. I only started feeling really good about this after her rehearsal footage but wow. It was even better! Mimicat really ate that stage up. I don't wanna say she was a pleasant surprise because we knew she would qualify, but she did even better than expected is all in saying.

6. Ireland 🇮🇪 - I liked the song but yeah the performance was not on par with everyone else's. I felt he may have been kinda nervous? Idk.

7. Croatia 🇭🇷 - I have been watching them perform this song ever since their national final and I was still not ready for... that. I can't imagine people's reactions seeing them for the first time 😂 Amazing. This is how you do a political song. Zoran's vocals were also better live this time.

8. Switzerland 🇨🇭 - Remo's vocals were really good. We were pretty much guaranteed to have that but even I was pleasantly surprised. Out of all the sad slow songs his was definitely the best and the juries are gonna eat him up. I gotta say his message is a tiny bit tone deaf though like, he keeps saying that he's in an age that usually Swiss guys get drafted in the army and that he couldn't imagine being in an actual war like... Sweetie, what are you saying 🤣 I doubt comically neutral Switzerland is gonna send you to war anytime soon, and if the Swiss army is anything like the Greek one, you're just gonna do lots of chores, maybe some desk work and a couple of patrols. You're gonna be okay trust me! But then again, Europe is pretty tone deaf on most issues so this is ultimately a good fit.

9. Israel 🇮🇱 - The second disappointment of the night 😬 Like, you don't understand, every day at the gym, her and Alessandra usually come back to back on the playlist and they literally give me so much energy boost 😂 I didn't get that last night. The song is still messy, it's like BLACKPINK and she, apparently has the questionable vocals to match. Yay 😬 She killed the dance break of course so at least she's got that on BLACKPINK but she's no Eleni Foureira, no Chanel. They both danced throughout their performances as well but were still able to give good vocals, Chanel even hit a high note after her dance break. If she doesn't fix her vocals by the final the juries are gonna vote her down. Hard.

10. Moldova 🇲🇩 - Like Mimicat, Pasha also did better than expected. I honestly don't remember his 2012 entry, other than it's title, but this will stay for years! Yes it's this year's Shum, just like Fulenn was last year's, but Europe clearly enjoys pagan rituals in the forest so I hope someone continues to perform them each year. Maybe it's a secret EBU rule; someone has to do the ritual to appease Martin Osterhdal otherwise he'll invite America or sth.

11. Sweden 🇸🇪 - Miss Queen killed it ok. When I saw her Melodifestivalen performance I wasn't sure about the weird LED sandwich thing and I honestly couldn't understand what the fuck she was saying, and when I saw rehearsal footage of the smaller Liverpool LED I felt her staging got fucked a bit but they actually found the proper camera angles to make it work. Loreen sounded amazing, probably the best female vocals of last night, so yeah I can honestly see this winning again.

12. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - They were cute. Wholesome. But that's about it. This was such an inoffensive performance but I feel like it was ultimately not memorable at all too.

13. Czechia 🇨🇿 - Oh my god, the Vesna ladies KILLEDT itt!! So happy and proud of them. They became my favourites during rehearsals not only because Austria didn't bring it as much as I wanted but also because their act itself is amazing. Nothing more to add. Very happy.

14. Netherlands 🇳🇱 - Wow. I feel so sad for them, because they got a lot of shit in the last few months about their vocals and I guess it was kind of justified based on this performance, Dion's at least because Mia kind of kept it consistent but... Yeah 😬 I hope they still had fun though because they look like genuinely nice people, all of them this year. I honestly don't think there's any annoying contestants this year so losing any of them genuinely feels crushing this year, but I feel extra sad for Mia and Dion because, after Blanka, I feel like they might have been trashed the most this year.

15. Finland 🇫🇮 - He's bringing it alright. The performance is really nice and it's basically what I expected of him. The dances are also very much into this. They're giving a lot of drama and I love that. At times I was actually focusing on them instead of Kääri. The crowd went absolutely crazy too. Probably the loudest response. However... The vocals during the end 😬 Oof. If he doesn't fix that by the final the juries are gonna go after him hard.

[jinx-on-mars-19xx]

Sin in Snow White Taffeta and Latex

It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding (Part One)

Part of the Yes Daddy Verse

Prequel

Prequel Series: 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6

Yes Daddy: 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6 x 7 x 8

Adventures in Toyland: Introduction

1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5 x 6 x 7

Dom x Colson (Yungblud x Machine Gun Kelly)

Warnings: Nothing really, sorry guys this chapter is all fluff! Swearing, feminization, drug use, a little grinding and kisses but this is just a happy fluff chapter 🖤 Rating: PG-13

Neither of them had ever been the type to plan things out. No, they were wild at heart and deficient of attention and a little mental at times. Perhaps that was why even though they'd been engaged for over a year and desperate to claim each other in every way possible they still weren't married on paper. They'd made plenty of jokes, the idea of running away to Vegas came up constantly or just going to the court house, but Dom thought Colson wanted something showier and Kells was positive his Dominic wanted to dress up. They were both so terrified of disappointing the other that they never even asked and it just got swept under the rug over and over again. That is until some of their friends took it upon themselves to get the boys absolutely shit faced.

It was interesting because though their friends were around each other frequently they hadn't exactly intermingled, which is why it took so long for any of them to realize the two gave about the same amount of fucks as to how they got hitched, they just wanted to be together. Mod had asked Tom to help him with a video shoot and while editing they'd begun to talk. It didn't take long before they were complaining about their respective boy problems, how their best friend was constantly whining about still just being engaged. For Dom it was sadness and worry over actresses trying to steal his man for arm candy and for Col it was self hatred for not doing right by his bitch but ultimately they found they faced the exact same problem. They needed better friends.

No, they realized neither cared how it happened, they just wanted the end result and it got the two from bitching to calculating to actually setting something up. Of course it would have to start with lots and lots of alcohol.

That's how Dom and Col found themselves three sheets to the wind and window shopping little white chapels under the painfully bright lights of the Strip. They were dressed to the nines though they barely remembered how they got that way and stumbling over themselves. Mod was attempting to be the designated decider and Tom was leading them, his back to the world as he snapped booze soaked memories for when they couldn't recall a thing later. They were all buzzing with excitement and worried at the pain they might cause other people but the wedded pair-to-be had been kidnapped and couldn't change a thing- yet another calculation. They both knew they'd thank their friends for it later. No matter what they said it was a personal experience and they didn't need anyone else watching.

"Daddy look!" The boy slurred, pointing one of his white latex covered fingers at the perfect chapel. It was hot pink and precious with a rock n roll vibe and there was an Elvis impersonator smoking a joint on the steps. It felt like a sign to his liquor addled mind and he jumped happily in his platform ivory creepers.

Col laughed and pulled his lover close, giving him yet another once over. The all white still made him smirk but it was the sluttiest wedding dress he'd ever seen. Honestly it's what he pictured strippers wearing at stag parties. Bone pale fishnet clung to his skin in a long sleeve top, barely covered by a ripped to shreds and safety pinned tee. The tutu was cute though, he had to admit and more than anything he just wanted to bend the punk over and see what panties he picked.

He was dressed much more relaxed but no less on point, a red suit to match his baby's hair and a white button up underneath, with his patent alabaster docs to finish it up. Dom had actually drooled when their friends took the blindfolds off, they'd meant to leave them on until they were in a church but they were both getting too frisky in the car and it was almost impossible to lead them around even with their vision working. "It's perfect doll." He sighed back, trying to pull his princess in for a kiss but his BFF stepped in and yanked the punk away.

"Shit guys, we're literally feet away. You can wait. Come on babe you can walk with me." The rocker tugged at Dom's shiny white palm and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He got them a few feet in front of the grumbling rapper and whispered- "You look beautiful. Thank you for taking care of him." The kid sniffled, holding back his emotions because he refused to mess up his makeup and while he didn't completely agree with the statement, he could admit they took care of each other. That's what it was all about though wasn't it?

The King impersonator choked on a toke when they stopped in front of him, his brows going high behind his glasses. "Holy sh- Mama!" The man caught himself halfway through cursing and tried to pull his facade back. Kells reached to shake his hand and steal his weed. "What can I do for y'all?"

Colson arched a brow as he took a deep drag, teasingly looking between the chapel and his bride. "Here to buy a car obviously. What do you think?" It wasn't his best sarcastic line, he was a little too drunk but the guy laughed nervously anyway which was good enough for him.

"Play nice luv, it's our wedding night." Dom pouted trying to curl himself around his daddy but Derek pulled him back, grumbling about needing child backpack leashes on them both.

"Oh, awesome!" The Elvis grinned, seemingly giving up on the act. "Come on, I'll give you guys the full package on the house!" He pulled his leather jacket up to reveal a sleeve of music themed tattoos. A few that made them realize he was probably acting so flustered because he was a fan and some that implied he was definitely batting for their team. "Seriously, I'll take care of you. You guys fucking rock! Can I just say..." He started nervously. "I totally called this from your first video!" Kells chuckled and his bride-to-be agreed.

"You're not giving my bitch the full package kid." Colson joked, giving the actor a wink when he blushed and Dom tried to swat him.

"Don't fuck 'is up. You give 'im a 'eart attack who's gonna marry us?"

"Then let's fucking go. Wanna fuck you already." Col whined back, the poor officiate was blushing so hot he was probably sweating. The neon above made him look cherry red.

"Charming. That's exactly wha' a bride wants to 'ear." Dominic rolled his eyes but honestly he was flattered, he always was. He loved how much his daddy needed him. After all, it was just as bad for him. Already he could feel his lace thong a mess of precum and he felt pussy wet as his very soon husband liked to say.

The impersonator led them inside and Mod kept them separate as best he could until they reached the main room and he dragged the rapper away. "Literally two seconds and you'll be back together. Fuck you guys, you're obsessed." He chuckled as the doors shut behind them and Dom was left with his best friend and the camera he hadn't put down.

"You look beautiful." The man smiled, lowering his hand and reaching to fix the singer's veil with the other. It was attached with a cute little tiara, marking him the princess Col called him all the time.

"Yeah?" He asked, his eyes misting and his heart racing in his chest. They didn't need to talk much, they knew each other better than that and Tom was one of the only people the punk could just be quiet with. "Fank you for 'is. Not sure we ever woulda figured it out." He huffed, fidgeting with his skirt.

"No shit." He thought he caught the man sigh but it was so quiet he let him grumble to himself and he laughed when his friend offered his arm. "Someone has to give you to the bastard. Might as well be me."

He could tell Tommy was more emotional than he was letting on, he always was. He was right though, it shouldn't be anyone else. "Course it would be you." Dom beamed. "You kept us together luv." It was true, he knew the photographer had been pulling their puppet strings almost since day one. Tom was the one who told him he had to do the collaboration, he told Colson to go to London when the singer wouldn't answer his phone, he texted the rapper to join them on tour when Dom was feeling too bad about everything, he helped them with their entire relationship really and without him they wouldn't even be in Vegas. "Ain't no one I'd rather 'ave wiv me."

They were so wrapped up in their moment they both startled when the music started up and the door opened. Right inside was a drag queen who looked like a pin-up model and she handed Dom a bouquet of black and red roses before disappearing again. Yeah, this was the perfect place for them. Jade eyes took in the room, four empty pews and a little stage at the front. It was small and kitschy, something akin to an old rock club mixed with a disco and he couldn't help but wonder if they'd let him shoot a video here someday but nothing else mattered when his gaze found his lover. Everything went quiet and he felt himself calmed. It felt like his whole life led to this.

Kells smiled when their eyes met, his fiancé was perfect and he just wanted to get this over with so he could get his boy back to bed where they belonged. Of course he wanted to be married but he didn't care about the showy part all that much, he just wanted to call his bitch his. Derek was next to him, playing an electric guitar he found somewhere and the Elvis was on his other side, still shaking like a leaf.

Dom knew he was supposed to step carefully and slow but he'd never been either of those things and he wasn't about to start. His arm linked with Tom's and his fist gripped the flowers tight and he stomped down the aisle the same way he entered Col's house all that time before. Tom huffed but was smiling so wide, for once his camera laid forgotten around his neck. He could take more pictures after, this he wanted to be present for, not live through a lense. The closer they got the better Dom felt and when he was finally at his partner's side he could only think of one thing to say. "'Ere's me Machine Gun."

Kells felt his eyes burn with unshed tears, fuck his baby knew exactly what would get him. The whole trip he'd been thinking over their relationship and remembering the story of how they'd met. It felt like it all started with that, 'Where's the Machine Gun?' and their night would end with Dom being his Mrs. But first Tom had to actually give the kid away. He held his hand out as the officiant stuttered through the script but he barely heard a word. Everything felt like a blur around him but that boy he loved so much.

"I do." Tom sniffled when asked who gave Dom away and with one last squeeze to his hand and a kiss to his cheek that Colson growled about he let his friend go and handed him over. "Always trusted you with him."

That made the rapper grin and he nodded his thanks but he couldn't take his eyes off his queen. He looked like sin in snow white taffeta and latex and he felt his cock jerk in his too tight crimson pants. Those raven painted lips mouthed 'I love you' but when he moved in for a kiss he was stopped by a flash from Tom's camera.

They were both calmer than they thought possible and unable to look anywhere else but somehow as drunk and needy as they felt they recited everything they were told. When the fan paused and asked if they had their own vows Dom blushed but nodded fast, of course tradition wasn't enough. They hadn't been conventional since the day they were born and they wouldn't start with something so important. For the first time that night the punk felt truly nervous. How could he sum up everything his lover meant to him?

His breath shook and he handed the impersonator his bouquet, curling both his palms in his fiancé's. "I didn't fink I'd ever learn 'ow to love. Wiv 'ow I grew up I fhought… I fhought I weren't worthy. I craved belonging so bad I started a bloody band." He laughed wetly, he couldn't stop the tears anymore. He just hoped his eyeliner held up. "I fink I were in love wiv yas from the moment we first met. You… you give me wha' no one else can. I feel complete wiv yas. You make me feel safe and loved and accepted and… fuck I barely know wha' to say tha' I don't tell ya all the time. You keep me sane. You… you 'elp me love me'self and when I can't do it you do. You the love of me life Colson. You every'fin."

Kells cleared his throat, fighting the lump that threatened to choke him. He didn't want to cry like a bitch but he didn't know if he could help it. His hands shook with pent up emotions and Dom squeezed him tighter, his pillow soft smile and heart eyed stare gave him strength. "I didn't have anything to live for before you stomped into my life and took up all the fucking space. No one shines as bright as you baby, nothing makes me feel as much. All this doesn't matter to me but I'd do anything to make you smile at me like you are right now. When shit gets tough you're what keeps me going. You inspire me every fucking day, and when I need it you kick my ass just right. You ground me when nothing else does and I just… you know I didn't have anything growing up and I thought I couldn't love right… that something was wrong inside me. You showed me my heart bitch. Without you I'm nothing and fuck I just… I just want to start our lives together and have a family with you. You're it babe, you're everything."

Dom didn't know how he made it through all of it without bawling but he stayed mostly composed until their friends produced two simple platinum bands. This whole night had obviously been carefully planned out down to his undergarments even and while maybe they both didn't think they understood love until each other, they knew they had been deeply loved for years. He took the larger one with trembling fingers, glad for the grip of the latex or it would be lost and he slid it carefully on his lover's hand, hearing the two most important words his man would ever say to him. "I do." When the question was turned on him and Colson was trying to work the glove off his hand he couldn't help but giggle.

Col almost growled when his boy slipped the latex between his teeth but he bit down on the fabric and held tight. His hand quivered as he took the ring and slipped it on his baby's finger, the first tear breaking free when his boyfriend repeated those words and he felt it like a brand on his soul. "I do."

They beamed at each other as Elvis finally exclaimed- "You may now kiss the bride." They even laughed at the cornily added "Huba huba, thank ya very much!" but Col was already scrambling to get the veil up and spit the glove out of his mouth. Dom went up on tiptoes as Colson bent down and when their lips met the universe went quiet and warm around them. They swore the world held its breath. They couldn't keep it chaste of course and Dom felt his daddy's touch ghost down his spine before his palms were groping hard at his bare ass and he was pulled flush against him. His lips parted on a gasp and their tongues explored, they knew every inch of each other but somehow it still felt new. Different but so much the same.

They broke apart panting and the four people present clapped, the poor Elvis seemed even more flustered than when they first met but he stuttered out- "May I present for the first time- Mr. And Mrs. Machine Gun?" His voice went up at the end like a question and Kells nodded. Dom giggled and swat playfully at his man's shoulder.

"I'll allow it for tonight but I don't know if I'm taking ya name luv." The boy rolled his eyes and yanked him down closer again. "Guess wha'?"

"What darling?" He hummed back, his voice a drawl as if just being around the actor made him take the accent on. He trailed kisses over the punk's cheek and held him close. He didn't think he'd let him go again all night. If ever.

"You me 'usband." His voice was almost a squeak he was so happy and with the revelation Col's heart skipped a beat. His palms tightened and he lifted as Dom hopped until strong thick thighs were wrapped around his waist.

"Shit you're right. Wife." He purred back, his gaze searching the chapel for somewhere they could hide away for a quickie.

"Mmm, 'usband say it again." Dom's breath hitched, his dick twitching in his too tight white lace thong.

He was so tempted to make a Borat joke but he could feel the bulge pressed against his belly and he was desperate not to ruin the mood. "Wife. Fuck need to find a place to hide for a few so I can make you a momma too." He teased with a wink.

"Guys! Hotel! We got you a fucking hotel not five minutes from here." Mod groaned, hooking his finger in the neck of Colson's jacket. "Tell the nice Elvis thank you and keep it in your pants for just a few more minutes please?"

They giggled together but did as they were told, both shaking hands with the impersonator and drag queen and they promised to tag them if they posted any pictures. It didn't take long but it still felt like eternity until the desert air was on them again and Tom was leading them down the Strip. "We'd ask if you wanted to party but…" Derek trailed off but they were barely paying attention to anything but each other. Colson truly didn't know how he was even walking straight with Dom almost grinding against him.

"Oh we'll party just not with you, no offense. Maybe breakfast?" He shrugged, his voice going thready when his husband started nibbling his ear. "Shit- brunch!" He corrected, his breath coming faster. He could make it though, he knew he could. They'd get to the hotel and spend their first night of wedded bliss buried deep in each other. He knew his words were probably a lie, they may not come out for days and they all knew it. No, it was the first night of the rest of their lives and they planned to spend it exactly as they always hoped to be, part of each other.

Author's Note/Tags: @triplexdoublex @manicpixiedreamb0y @jaxbreaker @hollywoodxwhore @cole-way-iero28 if anyone else wants tagged let me know and if there's anything you want to see between these boys just ask! My anons are always open but I never judge 🖤 This is my first pure story chapter and I meant to keep going but I thought it deserved it's own part. I hope it was still enjoyed and don't worry, the wedding night is still to come!

[uhohitsdorian]

Doodle dump from the past few months!

[Image: seven doodles of various D&D characters, most of them mine.

1) Solace, a drow bard with fluffy hair that covers his face, sat on the ground and wearing a conical dunce hat. He is surrounded by various arrows all pointing to him with the label “this guy!” 2) An edit of the fuck go back meme. The first drawing is of Mitchell, a drow wizard, and @leidensygdom’s Urion, a drow-genasi bard. A finger presses a button on the keyboard labelled “awww baby”. The next drawing is of Solace and the Onirist (also LS’s). The finger presses the button again, now labelled “fuck go back”. 3) Freefall, @jupitisms’ tiefling blood hunter, in a tight embrace by a wide-eyed Effie (a changeling fighter in guise as a tiefling), both teetering over the edge of a cliff and both being ultimately held back from falling by Daphne, @nightfirexd’s tiefling ranger. 4) Mitchell and Effie’s floating heads, with a lit torch being passed from the former to the latter. There is text around them that says “Spiritual successor / long white hair & autism voice”. This is true. 5) A drawing of three drow tethered together with a rope in marching order: @bardcharms’ ranger Dax at the front of the line on the right, @eve-stirwin’s rogue Quiche in the middle, and my warlock Cato bringing up the rear. Above them is the text “keep all arms and legs inside of the party at all times!” 6) Alva, a tiny person with very long hair, looks up in absolute awe and adoration (heart-eyes and all) at the Empress, a much, much taller, vague and elegant figure. (Alva has since begun referring to her as her girlfriend, though hasn’t mentioned anything about it to the Empress herself.) 7) A short comic in grayscale. @jupitisms​’ Nimbus, a tiefling druid with curly hair and branches sprouting from her horns, holds up Opportunity (a wood elf wearing a magpie-skull mask, with bad vibes emanating off him in black scribbles) like a cat, with a pleading face, saying “babe please can we keep him”. Providence, her girlfriend and his nemesis, stands imposingly with glowing eyes and the moon behind her, and answers (in distorted, glowing capital letters) “he is a scourge on benevolence”. Nimbus’ eyes grow wider and sadder, and she adds desperately, “…and a baby”. 8) Heaven Le Scourge, a tiefling, lying on a bed and talking animatedly into a rotary phone in much the manner of a stereotypical teenage girl in an 80s movie. She has rollers in her hair and there’s a magazine lying open next to her. (Though not shown, she’s on call with @leidensygdom’s Solaralith, discussing their diabolical acts of cruelty and plans for world domination together.) 9) An addendum to the one above, showing Crocus (Heaven’s bodyguard, a drow-tiefling blood hunter) t-posing in a dress, with text above indicating that she has been “dressed up to play poison tea party”.

End ID.]

[crimeronan]

steif hates poly people and polyshipping? D: sorry i dunno much about her and linger on the outskirts of the fandom but with the maybe heavilyish implied sarchengsey and general everything (trc being an absolute playground) i didn’t expect that

yeah it took me by surprise too since she's seemed a lot more open to writing different relationships and to evolving past her past feelings on certain shipping etc. ultimately it's fine but to explain: she went out of her way to break sarchengsey up in the epilogue and also decided to kill one leg of a triad that was heavily HEAVILY implied would be canon, before anyone could discuss their feelings, directly after one party kissed the other non-dead party and then had a monogamous crisis of guilt about it, which turned the three of them from a triad into yet another love triangle conveniently solved by one of the members eating shit and dying. then the dead woman is never mentioned again but who cares bc now carmen has her Real gf. there COULD have been an implication that carmen and hennessy were looking for liliana's younger self in the future (time travel being involved), but there's not bc they don't need her anymore bc loving more than one person isn't a real thing and all their problems are solved. there was a lot more to it than that in terms of contextualizing Why It Felt So Bad, basically everything about every single detail of how it went down made me nauseous and sucked and i can't really sugarcoat how bad it made me feel. my most charitable read is that stief WAS planning to write polyamory but decided she didn't feel like fleshing out liliana so she phoned it in, which. fine. but there were about a dozen places where one throwaway line could've recontextualized EVERYTHING and made me okay with ALL OF IT and she just. didn't feel like it ig. the saddest thing is that hennessy and carmen have a really spicy fun relationship dynamic that i LOVED and HAVE BEEN INVESTED IN FOR AGES but now i kinda never want to think about them again. so. rodamnessy pivot and moving on!

[schraubd]

"Dems" Who Endorse Third Party Candidates Are Monsters. Zero Exceptions.

"Dems" Who Endorse Third Party Candidates Are Monsters. Zero Exceptions. Back in 2018, when I was still living in Berkeley, I was really having a difficult time deciding who to vote for in a D-on-D assembly race between Buffy Wicks and Jovanka Beckles. Both seemed like solid people I'd be happy to have representing me in Sacramento, and I struggled to find much distinguishing the two. Until I learned that Beckles had voted for Jill Stein in 2016. Suddenly, a hard choice became very easy. Wicks gets my vote (and she went on to win the election). Fast forward a few years, to 2022. I now live in Oregon, a pretty reliably blue state. Except this year, our gubernatorial race includes not just the standard D-R matchup between Democrat Tina Kotek and Republican Christine Drazan. It also includes a well-financed "independent" candidate -- former Democratic State Senator Betsy Johnson,* well-known as among the most conservative Democrats in the caucus. Johnson, who has called Portland a "city of roaches", ran expressly because she couldn't tolerate a more liberal Democrat being the party's standard-bearer. Polling suggests an extremely tight race, and Johnson 's presence on the ballot could let the Republican slip into the governor's mansion with barely 30% of the vote. The very thought makes me livid. The idea that in Oregon, in 2022, we might have a Republican Governor because some egomaniacal blue dog Dem just couldn't back her party's nominee is outrageous. Among Johnson's endorsers is outgoing Democratic Rep. Kurt Schrader, in an obvious sore-loser move after he lost his primary to challenger Jamie McLeod-Skinner. I couldn't vote in that election -- I now live in Schrader's district, but I moved here a few weeks after the election -- and I certainly understood the pragmatic argument in favor of Schrader in a swing-y district. But Schrader himself? Absolutely dead to me. I shed zero tears for his demise. There is nothing I have more contempt for than a nominal Democrat supporting a third party in a contested general election. It is terrible if it is a "from the left" protest vote for a middle-of-three-evils like Jill Stein. It is terrible if it is a "from the center" chin-stroker vote because the Democrat is "just too radical".  The current iteration of the Republican Party is a hairsbreadth away from being actual fascists. Stopping them from attaining political power is a moral obligation of the highest order. Very, very few things can trump that obligation. I can think of essentially no significant Democratic figure whose views or practices are so noxious as to trump that obligation. Yes, that includes every single member of the Squad. Yes, that includes Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema and Henry Cuellar. I don't care how annoying you find them. I don't care how valid your grievances are against them. None of them are worse than your typical 21st century Republican. If they are the general election nominee, and they're running against a Republican, you vote for them, and you do it with a smile. * In researching this post, I learned the ultimate terrible fact: Johnson is a Carleton College alum. She also got her J.D. at Lewis & Clark. I am devastated. via Blogger https://ift.tt/wk9Q5jO July 24, 2022 at 04:43PM

[ptergwen]

sensation

w/c: 4.6k

warnings: some swearing, suggestive tings, and a pretty bad ending

summary: it’s the last night of your world tour, and tom has the perfect way to celebrate

a/n: i know y’all have been waiting for this one! everyone really loved when worlds collide but i ran out of ideas for it lol sorry... anyways my solution was to turn it into a oneshot :D based off the au!! i’m honestly nervous about posting this cuz a lot of you asked for it and i don’t wanna disappoint but i tried my absolute hardest to make it special <3 please enjoy

-

“thank you so much! we love you!” you shout to the audience, laughing breathlessly when they shout back. one of your dancers pulls you into a side hug, you throwing your arm around his neck. “we’re so fucking lucky you chose us, that you came all the way here. i’ve seen some of you back at night one. wow.” your voice gets wobbly, thinking about how loyal your fans are.

the tour started in new york, and they’ve followed you here to london.

tonight is an emotional night for everyone. you’re about to wrap your last show before you continue again in the summer. touring the u.k. has been a dream, and you’re just as thrilled to travel the rest of the world after your break. it’s bittersweet because you’re going to miss the hell out of your crew and the millions of lovely faces you’ve sang to each week. but, you do get to spend your time off with a special someone.

he’s watching you from the sound booth, sending fond smiles and loud cheers your way. thanks to you, tom has been at every show you’ve played in england. he brought harry along this time because he’s also a fan and wanted to see you. well, tom is more than a fan at this point. you’d say he’s more of a boyfriend. you haven’t discussed labels just yet.

your dates have mainly been over facetime, since you live on opposite sides of the world with insane schedules. a heartthrob actor and international popstar is quite the combination. you’ve only seen each other in person a couple of times, the first being pretty recently.

zendaya brought tom along to hang out with you in los angeles. he happened to be there recording some lines for a movie. she saw your concert earlier that night and invited him to crash the dinner plans you’d made, resulting in the best surprise and most fun you’ve ever had. the other time you enjoyed each other’s company was one weekend in paris. that was... something.

besides those two miracles, everything between you and tom happens through a screen. you’ll down bottles of champagne or keep warm under blankets while talking about your days. it’s nice, having someone on the other end who listens and actually hears you. tom gets it. you both do.

finishing your tour in london is convenient because not only will you have tom to comfort you, but you get to stick around for a while. he’s invited you to stay at his place. you can’t wait to meet the other holland’s, his friends, and obviously tessa.

“fuck, i’m gonna cry. i’m already crying,” you announce to the crowd, though they can tell from the tears streaming down your face. more dancers huddle around you and turn your single hug into a group one. you’re laughing and sobbing and holding on tight to everyone. fans bawl their own eyes out, the fact that this is it starting to settle in. the onstage crew even gets choked up, seeing you like this.

tom pouts from where he’s watching. he wishes he could run up there and squeeze you tight, but he’ll have to save that for when you’re done.

“i love you all so much, literally every single one of you in this room,” you tell everyone for the nth time tonight, swiping a perfectly manicured finger under your eyes. “my lighting crew, sound crew, my band, my fearless fucking dancers-“ a hiccup cuts you off. people burst into fits of giggles, which is a much needed tension breaker. you adjust your headset so the mic doesn’t pick up any other bodily noises.

grinning, you rest your arm on a shorter dancer’s shoulder, then go on. “sorry, sorry. i just wanna say, like, three more thank you’s before i get out of here.” there’s a chorus of no’s and encouraging whistles at the mention of you leaving. you blink back more tears to delay the breakdown you’re going to have. “thank you to my friends who always show up for me.”

with a knowing smile, you glance over at tom. “and, thank you to my more than a friend.” he smiles back, both hands held over his heart. harry elbows him in congratulations. more screaming erupts from the crowd as they realize where you’re looking and who you’re looking at. this will be sure to spark some headlines. whatever, you’re used to trending on every possible social media platform by now.

“this is the big one,” you preface, taking in a breath while everyone quiets down again. “thank you to you guys. for trusting me, for caring about what i have to say in any way. i feel your love. i really do, and i hope you feel mine.” your fans yell that they love you back, dancers gently swaying you side to side, emotions on high. there’s one last song, and it’s over.

“this has been the sensation tour, and i’ve been your host. was i good?” you try to lighten the mood, earning a bunch of what sound like positive shrieks. the earpiece you have in makes it hard to tell. “y’all were even better.” exchanging looks with your dancers, you pull out of the hug so you can get to your mark for the finale. they follow your lead. music comes through the speakers.

“i’ll see you again soon, okay? i promise. here’s sensation,” you introduce the song, immediately bursting into more tears. it’s torture to say goodbye. thankfully, you have the most incredible fans on earth, so they sing along with you at the top of their lungs. that includes tom and harry, your ultimate stans.

when the show is over, you run right off stage and over to tom. he’s waiting on the side with actual heart eyes for you. you practically leap into his arms, a hand cradling the back of his head, both his arms draped low and tight around your body.

“you were so amazing up there! absolutely smashed it, darling,” tom breathes out. his face is smushed between your neck and mostly bare chest. “thanks, tom. seriously, thanks for being here tonight and every other.” you smile a tired smile and wind your other arm around his neck. he presses some light you’re welcome kisses to your skin. “mm, thanks for having me. how’s it feel to be done?”

you sigh, fingers running through his curls. “like the biggest relief, and also really sad.” you’re such a mess that you could cry again on the spot. tom senses it and lifts his head up to see if you’re alright. “super depressing,” you surprisingly reiterate without the waterworks. “i know the feeling. you’ll be back soon, though. you said it,” he murmurs, a grin on his lips as they brush against the corner of yours.

you’re about to kiss him properly, then one of your dancers comes up to you. you’d forgotten that there are still stage managers and security everywhere, too. you get completely lost in tom whenever you’re together.

“you killed, babe,” coco greets you, linking your arm in hers. tom takes the hint and lets go of you. he watches on with a smirk. “nah, you murdered,” you send the compliment back and bite your lower lip. “i dunno, i feel like someone murdered me!” there’s coco with her dramatics. she’s genuinely hilarious, your shared sense of humor playing a huge part in your friendship.

she brings your free hand to her heart. you gasp at how fast it’s going. “that shit is really beating, coco. are you, like, okay?” “probably not. it was the freestyle that got me.” coco went a lot harder than usual tonight, since it was her last big dance break for a while. she puffs air from her cheeks and nods to tom. “this your man?”

“yeah, you could say that. i’m tom,” he answers, holding out a hand for her. “coco.” she pulls it like you would in a handshake. you beam at them, one of your best friends and unofficial boyfriend finally meeting. “sounds promising. i approve,” coco mutters to you. bumping your hip into hers playfully, you take one of tom’s hands in both of yours.

“aw, we have your blessing or something? your permission?” you coo and get a push at your shoulder from coco in return. tom chuckles, his thumb running over the back of your hand. “no! i was gonna say you should bring him out back,” coco clarifies, like it was obvious. you’re not sure what she’s on about. “uh, what’s out back?” you question. “an axe?” tom teases.

coco gestures to the nearest exit. “we’re having a little goodbye party in the parking lot. fire pit, snacks. remember?” nope, you’d completely forgotten. the idea first sounded like the perfect way to end your night, so you agreed to go. that was before you were dripping sweat and mentally exhausted. now, all you want to do is unwind with tom and tom only.

the superstar life is one you’re happy to lead, just not at this exact moment.

“i do now.” you muster up your most apologetic smile for coco, tugging on tom’s hand. “i’m sorry, co. i think we’re gonna pass.” her jaw drops. you’re never one to skip these things. “aw, for real? it’s our last night!” tom threads his fingers through yours while you talk. “bro, we’ve been together for almost a whole year,” you laugh out, nuzzling your cheek into tom’s chest. “get sick of me.”

“never,” coco deadpans. she catches you gazing up at tom, relaxing as his arms hug your middle. she’s known you long enough to tell what’s a fling and what’s real love for you. this is something special, and she can’t get in the way of it. she’ll let you navigate this yourself. “ok, just for tonight. you’ll text me?” coco gives you a real smile, raising an eyebrow at tom. he gathers that’s a good thing. he’s in.

“mhm. maybe we can hang out tomorrow,” you agree and let your eyes flutter shut. all that’s keeping you up are tom’s strong arms. “tell everyone i love them.” “i think they know.” coco shakes her head lightheartedly. tom laughs at her. “be good,” she tells him and means it, rubbing your back on her way to the lot. that leaves you and tom alone at last.

custodians are cleaning up the arena, fans are piling out, and you’re clinging to tom while his steady heartbeat grounds you. this is the only after party you need.

“harry’s got the car when you’re ready,” tom mumbles, tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. you loop your arms around his torso with a hum. “i was kinda wondering where he went.” “yeah?” he gives you a small smile. “gotta ask what he thought... of the show.” yawns are creeping past your lips, tonight’s events catching up to you.

“i like feedback from the fans, or stans,” you elaborate in your sleepy state. tom uses his fingertips to tap your temple. “what about me? i’m your biggest.” “i’ll, um, follow up with you later.” your words are slurring. “right now, home.” warmth spreads throughout tom’s entire body, his house becoming yours for a bit. “your chariot awaits,” he affirms before helping you to your dressing room.

after collecting your things, you follow tom out to the car. harry is in the driver’s seat, and you two slip into the back. he exchanges a look with his brother through the mirror while you settle on his shoulder. you’re hugging his bicep, his lips pressing to the side of your head.

“thank you for driving,” you speak softly to harry. he starts to pull out of the spot with a nod. “no problem. get to say i was y/n y/l/n’s chauffeur.” tom clicks his tongue even though harry is joking. you snicker at his remark, joking back. “you want the job? better be a five star ride, then.” your banter brings yet another smile to tom’s face. his family is everything to him, so seeing you get along so well means the most.

“right, right. did you have a good time?” harry wonders, twisting to see behind him while he turns around. he also peeks at you snuggled up to tom before facing forward. “great, actually. did you?” you check, the grin clear in your voice. harry goes into full stan mode. “no shit! you were brilliant, y/n. god, every note was just like how you did it the studio.” he’s raving, which is much appreciated by you.

“good answer.” tom shoots his brother a wink. “‘s that what you wanted to hear?” he asks in reference to your conversation earlier. your response is a kiss to his shoulder. “yay. i’m happy you liked it, harry.” he buzzes with excitement, having his favorite artist care what he thinks.

not much is said for the rest of the drive. tom and harry make some hushed conversation about golfing this weekend while you struggle to stay awake. they’re obsessed with that damn sport. it’s honestly nice to see, that tom has something he likes to do when he isn’t shooting hollywood’s biggest movies. your free time will finally give you the chance to discover other hobbies.

you stumble out of the car upon arriving to the boys’ place, a backpack on your shoulders and tom’s hand held tight in yours. you’ve got only a few essentials with you for tonight. the rest is on the tour bus, so you’ll gather it after your hangout with coco. besides, everything you need at the moment is right here.

“home sweet home,” tom announces as harry unlocks the front door. his words bring a tired smile to your face. “finally,” you exhale, keeping your fingers laced with tom’s and following the two of them inside. “i could show you around a bit, give you the grand tour. or-“ tom stops talking, feeling your weight on him. harry huffs at how oblivious his brother is.

“mate, she’s falling over. save it,” he suggests and kicks the door shut lazily. you’re done in. you’ve been having to lean on tom since the show ended. “another time, then,” tom mumbles, securing his arm around your waist. “there is one thing i wanna see.” your voice is low, body curled into tom’s side. he raises an eyebrow. “and that is?” “your room.”

tom takes that in a suggestive way, like he does most things. “we’re getting right to it, are we?” he questions, harry gagging and you nudging his arm with your head. “not like that, dummy. ‘cuz i’m sleepy.” there’s a beat of silence. “ask me again in-“ “wow, look at the time!” harry interrupts so he doesn’t have to hear the details. he’s sure he’ll witness enough after it happens. “off to bed i go! goodnight.”

he rushes to get to his room, yelling out, “great show, y/n!” on the way. “thank you! night!” you call back, tom letting out a sigh. “div of the century,” he says under his breath. “must run in the family,” you playfully retort. that gets you a firm poke at your side. “where’s everyone else?” you glance up at him. there should be two other idiots and a lovely, furry lady running around.

“tuwaine’s gone to the pub, harrison’s filming late, and tess is at mum and dad’s,” tom fills you in, grabbing your arm and draping it around his middle. doing him one better, you hug him with both. you squint in confusion about the last part. “they watch her when i’m out,” tom answers your unspoken question. “ah,” you nod, then deflate ever so slightly. “i wanted to meet her, though. the other boys, too.”

tom smooths the pad of his thumb over your cheek. “you will, darling. it’s only for tonight.” he kisses the same spot reassuringly. “we’ve got loads of time.” “yeah, we do,” you agree, instantly cheering up and letting your head fall onto his chest. “now, where’s your room?” “just upstairs. you need some help getting in?” he’s only playing around, but you accept, tightening your arms around his neck.

“show me the way,” you beam at him. “happy to.” tom wiggles his eyebrows, you jumping up. your legs wrap around his waist, his arms holding you against him. with a satisfied hum, you squish your face into his insanely soft shirt. “what a diva,” tom sarcastically complains while taking you to the staircase. “doesn’t even say please. no manners from this one.”

“you try dancing in six inch heels for two hours,” you shoot back, patting the side of his neck. he moves one hand down to your thigh for a better grip. you’re nearing the top of the stairs. “think i’ll leave that to you,” he decides and squeezes your thigh. “look at me, carrying the whole music industry.” your face easily gets hot and your words turn to murmurs. “shut up. you should listen to other songs.”

you’re on the second floor now, tom going for the first door. he frowns at his rejected compliment. “no, i like yours. they’re my favorite.” “really?” your muffled laugh sounds from his chest. “what was the first thing i ever said to you?” he asks, a toothy grin on him even though you can’t see it. you recall the faithful night he slid into your dms while he carries you into his room.

he’d tripped over his words somehow, the fangirling fool. before that, he tweeted to the whole world that he wanted to see you in concert. it was a huge thing, and people were freaking out about it, even more so when your online interactions became routine. that’s nothing compared to where you are now.

you’re currently living with him and basically dating. possibly, in love. the base of it all really is your music.

“that you love me.” you pause for the ellipses. the corners of your lips turn up. “but, you really meant to say my work.” “both apply.” tom passes that off like it’s a side comment, carefully laying you down on his bed. you look up at him with a curious glint in your eyes. “what does that mean?” his cheeks flush, and he bites back the smile that’s growing. this was supposed to go... differently.

you sit up, breathing out a laugh at tom’s boyish behavior. he’s precious, truly. “you do love me?” those three words will change everything if he says yes. he takes both your hands in his and holds them between you two. you meet his doe eyes. “yeah, y/n/n. i do.” so, you were right. “i love you... and, that wasn’t how i planned on saying it.” signaling for him to elaborate, you tilt your head to the side.

tom sits down next to and faces you before continuing. “it was supposed to be romantic, right?” he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling, annoyed he ruined this. “candlelit dinner, flowers, that sort of thing. seems more fitting for the occasion.” you shift closer to him until your knees are touching. your face is lit up, voice dropped to almost a whisper.

“since when do we do things the way we’re supposed to?” you point out and set your hands on his shoulders. “we’ve gone straight from online dating to me moving in. that’s usually not how it works.” tom chuckles lowly. his own hands find their place on your hips. you’re so good with words. then again, you are a singer. “guess you could say we’re, um, spontaneous,” he agrees, fingers drawing circles on you.

you and tom have explored some of each other’s most intimate places, yet you’ve never shared a moment quite like this. it’s like meeting him for the first time again. he’s too tongue tied to spit out what he wants. you somehow know, anyway. what you cherish most about your relationship is that you two completely and totally understand one another, on every level.

“tom?” you speak quietly, butterflies filling up your body. “hm?” he hums back. this is one of those moments where it all just clicks. “i love you. i really, really love you.” you giggle out of the pure happiness that consumes you, tom joining in your laughter. “i love you, too.” he sounds like he’s said it a million times and he’ll say it a million more. he leans over so his forehead rests on yours. “really, really love you.”

your warm breath hits his face, eyes darting from his own to his lips. “i want you to be more than...” you trail off, unsure of how to phrase it. “more than... more than a friend?” tom pokes fun at what you said during the show. there’s less and less space between you with every second. “you mean, like, a boyfriend?”

“exactly. be my boyfriend,” you all but demand. you’re half asleep and desperate to be able to call him yours already. “bossy, bossy, bossy,” tom chastises, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. how he goes from being shy and giddy to the cockiest person alive in minutes, you’ll never know. “please?” you throw in to sway him. your hand locks with his, slowly moving it off your face.

you run your tongue over your teeth. “at least kiss me.” “you don’t have to ask,” tom breathes, lips now ghosting over yours. “i was going to.” true to his words, he closes the microscopic gap between you, you pushing forward against him as you kiss back. your first kiss in love. his lips taste like the chapstick he always uses, and he moves them softly.

he places a hand on your knee, you opening your mouth so he can have access to it. instead, a yawn exits. tom pulls back with a breathy laugh. “you must be exhausted, yeah? let’s get you to bed.” he pecks your lips once more. “my girl needs her beauty rest.” that confirms your relationship. you scrunch your nose and grin wide. “and, she’s gonna get some with her boy.”

you’re reminded of how sweaty you are when you catch a whiff. “oof, wait. do you think i can take a shower first?” you grimace, fanning at the air for emphasis. tom uses the tip of his nose to nudge yours. “absolutely. need help in there, too?” he’s not asking in that way, only so nothing happens. the hospital wouldn’t be the most pleasant place to spend your break. plus, he doesn’t want to be without you too long.

“you know what? yeah.”

that’s how you end up intertwined under the hot water, letting it cascade down your back as tom hugs you close to him. you sigh in content and tangle your fingers in his fluffed over curls. you’ve learned that he’s super into having his hair played with. it’s endearing, how he instinctively leans into your touch, eyes closing as you tug on the roots.

he drops his head down to kiss your shoulder, dragging his lips to your collarbone in a way that tickles. they land on one of your breasts next. there isn’t anything sexual about it, only loving. just in case he gets too excited because it’s not uncommon he does, you gently put a finger to his lips. tom takes the hint and lets up. you continue combing through his wet hair while you step out of the water.

“do you ever sing in the shower?” he questions, drawing your naked body in closer to his. “sometimes, yeah. i honestly feel like i sound better there,” you admit and slide your hand down to the nape of his neck. tom’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. “not true. you sound beautiful everywhere, and don’t fight me on this one.” he smirks in satisfaction, you groaning at your loss.

“i really enjoy hearing your voice when it blares through an arena, though,” tom keeps buttering you up. you shake your head and settle both arms around his neck. “man, i just love you so much.” “i love you, sweetheart,” he murmurs back, you switching places so he can give his hair a final rinse. you watch him and his glowing body, admiring the sight.

“what a sensation you are,” you say mostly to yourself, which doesn’t stop him from hearing. “i see what you did there.” he eyes you while you do the same to him. your arms still around his neck pull him back to you. “tommy? do you sing in the shower?” you meant to ask him before, then he started throwing all those compliments at you.

tom scoffs, walking you back so you’re against the wall. “i don’t sing anywhere.” “what?” you gasp and put a hand on his chest. “you’re lying, you have to be. wasn’t billy elliot a musical?” he narrows his eyes at you as he tries to gage where you’re going with this. “that i did a decade ago, and way before puberty. couldn’t sing a word without cracking after that.”

your mouth is left hanging open in shock and disappointment. you bet he has a nice voice, and he’s downplaying it. “y/n,” tom begins, cupping your jaw with his palm. “since we’re living together now, there’s a lot you’re going the learn about me. good things, weird things.” he shrugs casually. “this is one of the weird things.”

“only because you make it weird! come on, let me hear you,” you request and wrap a leg around his waist. you’re giving him a hopeful smile. “god, no. you’ll hate it,” he almost laughs, a hand on your thigh. “i’m literally a singer. how could i hate something i love?” you refute, batting your lashes at him. “especially when someone i love is doing it.” “i love you, too. but, i’m not.” he’s quick to shut you down.

“drop a bar!” you try to coax him, which he already has a comeback for. “you first.” “i can’t. my throat is all scratchy from earlier,” you lie. tom presses his lips into a line, feigning pity. “aw, you know what’ll make you feel better? tea. i’ll go get you some.” he turns to shut the water off, so you grab his shoulders. “no, the steam is working. you can stay.”

“love,” tom addresses you in a warning tone that you can’t take seriously. he can’t either, a giggle escaping him. “my voice is shit. ask anyone, and they’ll tell you.” “i won’t believe them,” you hum, pushing back curls sticking to his forehead. “sounds like you just have stage fright. we can work on that, though.” “how?” he tightens his arm around your middle.

“i’ll bring you on for my next show. we’ll do a little duet.” you’re joking, though that would definitely be interesting to see unfold. “uh, never. what happened to you being tired?” tom cleverly deflects and digs his fingers into your side. you look down in defeat. “i forgot about that.” “yeah, yeah. no, seriously. we should really get to sleep, y/n/n.” he’s back to his sweet, attentive self. “‘s been a long night.”

giving in with a nod, you capture his lips in yet another kiss. tom never gets tired of them, and neither do you. you break it after a few seconds, lips lingering on his as they detach. “carry me?” you ask again, not caring how whiny you sound. tom presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “oh, you’re adorable. of course.”

well, you’ve found something to keep you occupied until the next leg of tour. you’re going to discover the many layers your intriguingly unusual boyfriend has.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Legend of Vox Machina: The Terror of Tal'dorei Part 1/Part 2 (1x01/02)

I've decided to break this sucker up, reviewing the two-part premiere and then moving on to episode three in a separate review.

Let's just start by screaming: OH MY GOD IT'S FINALLY HERE!!! Also, if anyone actually bothers to read this and you are not familiar with the stream, warning for some spoilers as to characterization and future relationships developing between various members of the party. And then let's dive right into my thoughts!

Cons:

While ultimately I am very, very pleased with what I've seen of the show so far, as is tradition I will start off with my personal gripes.

My biggest complaint? Well, the humor, honestly. It's odd, because I think the first couple of scenes of the first episode had a lot of weaknesses that then mostly disappeared from the second half, and from the second episode entirely. The show was front-loaded with so much adult humor that felt to me almost... self-conscious? Like the show was posturing a bit too hard, trying to set its tone so you wouldn't mistake it for a kid's cartoon. And that's all well and good, but for me it felt a bit jarring. In the first ten minutes of the first episode, we get plenty of swearing and the gruesome deaths of the generic opening adventuring party... fine. But we also get Keyleth throwing up directly into someone's mouth, which is disgusting, we get a shot of Scanlan's balls, we get Scanlan peeing directly onto a man's legs... I don't know. Does anyone else think some of this stuff was a little try-hard? For me, the moments of comedy that did work were a lot more subtle and character-driven, and I'll talk about that later.

As far as larger missteps, honestly? Scanlan's intro song was a mistake and shouldn't have been there. I think Scanlan's other musical interludes work really well, they stick out as being tonally inconsistent with the rest of the music in the show but in a good way, they make him shine and they certainly haven't toned Scanlan down to make him more palatable to a general audience, which I am all in favor of. But the one moment that stood out to me was him breaking into a rap to introduce himself during the intro song at the palace. That... was cringey to me and not in the way I think the episode intended. I was wincing while it was happening. I couldn't help but think that a better joke would have been if he'd introduced all the other characters very briefly and then just started bloviating about himself, going on and on and on until someone interrupted him and brought his focus back. Same joke, but without the jarring hip hop moment.

There were one or two more awkward moments in the animation. The dragon looked really cool in some spots, but I think they were using a 3-D model at certain times that didn't gel quite right with the 2-D character animation? I know absolutely nothing about this, but I was picking up some strangeness. Could be a budget thing. It wasn't anywhere near bad, it just was distracting enough to the eye that I thought I'd mention it.

There was also just the stuff that was unpleasant to look at with my eyeballs, like the animation of Keyleth throwing up on like three separate occasions, all this brown sludge everywhere. No thanks. Also, I really liked the stuff with Gilmore and Vax (more on that later) but there was this weird moment right at the start of the scene where he came forward to hug him and Vax just... didn't hug him back at all? It unintentionally read that Vax was uncomfortable with Gilmore touching him, which was not the vibe that the rest of the scene had at all, so I thought it was a weird choice that Vax's hand didn't come up to wrap around Gilmore in that moment. Am I nitpicking? Yes. But it's Shaun Gilmore, what do you want from me?

Let's talk about the supporting characters. It's not necessarily a big issue, as I'm sure we'll be getting more of them later, but Allura and Kima sure didn't have personalities here, did they? It makes sense in a two-part opener that needs to establish seven leads, make sure you know who key side characters are (particularly General Krieg and Sovereign Uriel Tal'Dorei), etc. I'm not going to dock points because Kima and Allura didn't get a bunch of attention, but I just wanted to note that in a show that looks very standard-fantasy-fare but then has a lot more going on underneath the surface, Allura and Kima felt like the most standard-fantasy-fare of all, with nothing much to set them apart.

I want to add one more thing to the "cons" section here before I commence with the gushing, but really it's not so much a complaint as it is a question. There are seven main characters in this sucker. And in this two-part opener, there are several important secondary characters that need to get their due. In order to introduce everyone, you kind of have to strip them down and show a few key aspects of who they are, get the audience on board and help them to tell everyone apart. So there's bound to be some flattening/simplification. I was really impressed overall with how quickly everyone was established: Vax is a bisexual disaster, he's also sneaky and cool-but-not-too-cool. Percy is aloof and superior. Grog is a loveable dumbass but you don't want to get on his bad side. Keyleth is insecure about her magic. Pike is the moral center, the cleric going through a crisis of faith, doubting her relationship with her god.

But wait a minute. For those who watched the original campaign, did you catch that last part? Keyleth is insecure, and Pike is the moral center? Um... Keyleth is Vox Machina's moral center, their conscience, the one who is constantly questioning what they're doing and their impact on the world around them. When Pike says that stuff at the beginning where she wonders if they should try doing some good, after they get kicked out of the bar, I found myself narrowing my eyes. Like, hey, isn't that Keyleth's line? Similarly, Keyleth then wonders why the group is even staying together, what their purpose was... I found myself thinking, hey, shouldn't that be Pike's line? Pike is the one who has this convenient metaphor in the form of a godly talisman around her neck, that links her to a god and intermittently helps her in times of need, and lets her down in other key moments. Shouldn't she be the one doubting purpose, while Keyleth is the one trying to steer the group's values?

The reason I bring this up here, when we have so little to go on, is that I would hate for Pike to get Keyleth's trait of "the group's moral center". I think it flattens both Keyleth and Pike in uncomfortable ways. Kiki is so much more than just insecure about her own abilities and her own place in the world. And Pike is so much more than the kind, sweet healer who always wants to do what's best. Again, as I said, this isn't a complaint about what we've seen so far, necessarily, but more of a questioning, a worry about how this is going to manifest as we keep the show going. There's so much setup in these first episodes, and I was bound to notice a few simplifications and shortcuts that didn't quite land for me.

Pros:

Oh boy, you guys. I'm just so entirely thrilled that this show exists, and even if it was FAR less impressive than it turned out to be, I'd still be so happy that it all happened. And let me tell you... I am pretty damn impressed overall!

As I said above, really my least favorite aspects of the show were front-loaded into the first ten minutes. Maybe that doesn't bode well for trying to get new viewers hooked, but for someone like me who was always going to stick around to see everything, it meant that I got to be slightly worried for a few minutes that it wasn't going to click, and then increasingly impressed with everything that happened after. I was smiling through so many moments of this show, and I want to start with the bar fight at the start, because despite my issues with some of the humor and tone setting, discussed above, I also think this bar fight set up one of the coolest aspects of the show for me thus far, and one that is an added element that didn't happen as much during the stream. That being: the character arc of Vox Machina as a collective.

Let me explain. In the stream, this party had years of home games, not to mention the entire Underdark and Slayer's Take arcs to establish their team dynamics. By the time Percy is dropping his backstory lore, Vox Machina are pretty dang ride or die for each other, and we've already seen them working out most of the kinks in their dynamics. Sure, a roll of the dice or pressure during combat can still make for mistakes and chaos, but within the logic of the story, they're in many ways a well-oiled machine leading into the Briarwood arc.

Here, in the animated series, we have something only subtly different, but in my opinion, importantly different. In the first episode, the bar fight shows that these people know each other incredibly well, are going to go hard for one another without a second thought... but also they're not necessarily all on the same page. In that fight, we see examples of suave teamwork. We see Vax making the quip about "giving me a hand," then ducking out of the way without even looking so Grog can take a swing and chop the man's hand off. We have Vax stealing the money and tossing it to Vex. Vex summoning Trinket. All moments that show that this isn't their first rodeo. BUT, we also have... Vex tripping over Pike. Grog "saving" Percy and crushing him under his enemy. These little moments do so much in setting up a character arc for them as a collective. Their fight against Brimscythe was a uniting moment where we got to see them all use their special abilities and contribute to the kill, bringing them into further cohesion, but we're seeing them as a group still working out the kinks in terms of who they are to one another, and how they can best serve the collective. I think that's so important, to have them be an established group of friends and still have some growing to do.

I'm going to try and do a bit of rapid-fire commentary on each of our leads really quick, picking out some favorite details.

Grog: I love that he got to do his rage, that we got Travis Saying The Thing, and that shot of him standing in front of Brimscythe's corpse completely drenched in blood was one of my favorite visual images in this opening story. I also like the little moments with Pike, from saving her during the first dragon encounter by pulling her out of the way, to giving her a lift when they're walking back into the village. They've really established a bond between these two with very little need for words.

Pike: We get to see her saving Scanlan like a bad-ass in episode two, we see her sincere desire to help but also the ways in which she might not always be able to. Her failure to save the boy after Brimscythe destroyed the village was really touching and you could tell how crushed she was to have failed. But she's also such a bad-ass, I loved the "Light him up, Vex" moment in that second fight, the way she and Vex got to do a cool combo hit there with the arrows. Loved seeing her use her holy magic as a shield, a weapon, and a force of healing. Love that she went as rough and rowdy during the bar fight as any of them. Honestly, what I can say most about Pike is that I just love that she's here. Ashley's frequent absence from campaign one makes Pike's presence shine all the brighter for me now. I can't wait to see how they adapt certain Pike moments for the show. Also... oddly charmed by how they're doing the Scanlan/Pike stuff? In the original stream, I'd say Sam's over-insistent pursuit of Pike at the table is perhaps one of the things that holds up less well, just simply because it edges towards a situation where Pike says no and Scanlan keeps hitting on her anyway. Here, we get something slightly toned down from that, where we see Scanlan proudly flirting with everything that moves, but with Pike he catches her as she collapses and blushes when he realizes the intimacy of the moment... there's clearly a bit of a spark there, and I even like the idea that Scanlan feels something for Pike that is at this moment not quite reciprocated. There could be a lot of fun stuff with the two of them moving forward.

Scanlan: I've got to say, I'm so pleased they haven't sanded down Scanlan to be more palatable to a new audience. Scanlan is bawdy and ridiculous and over the top, and when I watched the stream, I remember writing him off early on as "oh, he's the comic relief." I thought Sam was very funny, but to me it didn't seem like he had the same heart and connection as most of the other players. Which, of course, is what made it so fucking powerful when Scanlan's development really took off. I can see how it could hit just as hard in animated form, and I'm excited to see that come to life. With the exception of the rapping moment I mentioned earlier, I loved all of Scanlan's musical moments, especially that first one when he's seducing the barkeep's daughter. So funny, so Sam Riegel. But of course what works about Scanlan is that he's all bluster, and that really is who he is, the libertine and bawdy jokester of the group... but he's also the guy who sees devastation in front of him and quietly announces to the group that they're going to kill a dragon. I loved him plucking at his lute strings as Vax looks down stricken at the dead body of a child. That quiet chill of determination, even though you can still hear his fear underneath. Masterful bit of voice acting from Sam in that moment.

Vex: I love the way Vex is being classified as a bit of the de facto team leader in these early episodes! There's a bit of tension with Scanlan over who's going to give the orders/come up with ideas, but ultimately Vex is rational and intelligent, and everyone falls in line with her automatically. It makes so much sense for her character. I'll always be pleased whenever I see twin characters that aren't carbon copies of each other, or comedically diametrically opposed. Vex and Vax are quite similar, but they have their own shit going on, and you can see the ways in which everyone defers to Vex even without drawing too much attention to it. I particularly love the moment when Vex is talking about her dragon-spidey-sense picking up something weird when talking to the council, and Vax and Percy both pretty immediately say they should give up the whole job, all based on Vex's bad feelings and discomfort. Yes, I love it on the level of "Vax and Percy are the two people in this world who love Vex the most", but I also love it on the level of her intuition being respected. Vex is a favorite of mine, and in the fandom it has been oft-noted that she has less "main character" time during the campaign than some of the others. So slotting her into this role works extremely well for me. It all comes to a head when she has the idea of how to get Brimscythe in the final fight, and that idea is to play to everyone's strengths: let Scanlan do a trick, use Percy's gun and Keyleth's magic and Vax's dexterity and Grog's brute strength. Vex-as-leader, Vex-as-strategist, is really working for me, and I hope we see it develop more as we go on.

Percy: Obviously I'll be talking much more about Percy in my episode three review, but I was so impressed by how in this opening story, they captured the... essence of early-campaign Percival. One of the reasons that the Briarwood arc slaps So Hard is that Taliesin spent the earliest parts of the stream in the back seat. He was the snobby sophisticate, always looking down his nose at the others, he had some funny one-liners, but he was quiet. So when this dude comes forward with "SYLAS" and "your soul is forfeit" etc., it fucking owns. In these first two episodes, I really felt that vibe from Percy. He had some funny lines, I loved the "fulcrum/fuck room" joke, I loved his obvious glee at the prospect of respectability, but appropriately he felt slightly more one-note than some of the others. He's going to have his chance to shine this season, and I love that these first episodes play his characterization close to the chest. (The moment when he, or rather Scanlan's illusion, called Vax "peasant" was a highlight of the whole show for me so far... fucking stellar stuff, this is the type of comedy that works for me.)

Keyleth: As I said above, I'm the most worried that Keyleth's characterization is going to be flattened from what Marisha gave us on the stream. That said, Marisha is killing it with this performance, imbuing Keyleth with so much of that tender naiveté mixed with intense power that we love about her. The moment when she uses her considerable magical ability to call lightning on a blue dragon with lightning powers was the perfect synthesis of her insecurity. She's so strong, she's so good at magic, but she breaks under pressure and she often does the wrong thing at the wrong time, when she's trying to help. Of course, then she turns around and saves them all from being crushed to death in a rocks fall, everyone dies moment, proving that she can come through when it counts, and when she's not overthinking things. I loved the small hints of Vax/Keyleth, there's such a soft sweetness to his obvious regard for her, and I'm going to die seeing it all play out over again.

Vax: Vax was probably the character I was the most afraid they'd get wrong. He's the rogue, he's cool, and he needs to be cool, we need to see him suavely bantering with the asshole in the bar, we need to see him run through a rock slide and jump on a dragon and cut it open, we need to see him wink at Gilmore and give as good as he gets... but we also need to see him be a fucking doofus and disaster. Drinking ale in the middle of a bar fight, getting so distracted flirting with Gilmore that he forgets important dragon facts until Percy reminds him (another highlight of the episodes for me). And he also needs to be sweet and gentle with kids, giving a silver piece to a little boy, calling out for Pike and begging for help as he watches that boy die. He needs to be all of those things, and in my opinion, these opening episodes nailed that for him. If campaign one as a whole has a main character, it's Vax'ildan, just in terms of the fate-touched thing, and if we get to see the whole arc of his character play out in animated form, he's going to be the one who makes me cry my eyes out. The fact that they seemed to get him so right from the jump has me BEYOND thrilled for what's next.

Taking a break from talking story, I want to dive into some technical aspects.

The music is so far really, really working for me. Scanlan's songs are a joy, but the soundtrack as a whole sets an amazing tone. Appropriately epic but not too extreme, it captures the somewhat frantic energy of the battle sequences, highlights the bad-ass moments and also emphasizes the flubs where our characters make mistakes or are in real peril. I can't wait to hear more of what the music can do for the story moving forward.

The voice acting. Just... obviously I knew they were going to knock it out of the park, but I was surprised by how not distracted I was by the cast doing these voices! I wasn't hearing Sam and Marisha and Liam etc., I really was hearing Scanlan and Keyleth and all the rest. Some favorite line deliveries include Liam's plea to Pike to save the dying kid, Scanlan's line about killing a dragon, Percy's "we hid and it flew away" moment, Pike telling Keyleth that they're all alive because of her, Vax's "finesse" moment with the lockpicking, and so many more. To extend it out, obviously we'll get to Matt Mercer's meatiest role of the season come next episode, but it was a delight to hear him out and about in the world. It was a lovely Where's Waldo both in terms of background character design, and Matt's voice. And the fact that he gets to be Trinket is SO thrilling to me!!

David Tennant was fantastic as Krieg. The fact that after the prologue, the first line of actual dialogue in the whole show is world-famous actor David Tennant yelling "fuck!" just put a big smile on my face. They let him be Scottish, and over the top and dramatic, and evil and sinister and funny and just... yeah. I loved it. Kima and Allura didn't have a ton to do yet, as I mentioned, but I think both of their voices sound great. Uriel had a couple of fun moments, I loved when he hired Vox Machina mostly because he liked the bear. He's got a certain irreverence to him while still maintaining the gravitas of a ruler.

And Gilmore! Man, I loved the performance of Gilmore, I loved the whole scene with Pike as a third wheel constantly rolling her eyes at the flirting... I think the voice acting and the writing of this scene really highlighted the vibe between Vax and Gilmore so much. It's playful flirting, but you can tell there's a charge of real affection between them, too. The Easter eggs were fun, Gilmore's disappointed squeak when he saw how little they were going to pay him, Pike appearing to remind them of her continued presence... I loved it all. I hope we get to see him a ton in the Chroma Conclave arc, but this was a fantastic intro for his character.

The animation... yeah, I mean, I know nothing about the art of animation, but I think the show looks pretty dang cool. It has this very '80s cartoon vibe, I love that it's 2D animated for the most part, I think the character designs really work... I remember seeing promo materials and being a little uncertain about some of the designs, but it's already really grown on me. I especially love Percy and Keyleth, they look so right to me. And the twins. And really everyone. The fight sequences are pretty impressive, with all sorts of creativity and movement, you can tell they had something of a decent budget to work with, especially when you're talking about a TV show originally crowdfunded and based on a fucking D&D livestream... honestly, sometimes I can't believe any of this actually happened in real life, that I'm sitting here having seen a Critical Role animated series... god, life is strange and sometimes wonderful.

Ahem. I've talked on probably long enough, although I'm sure I'll think of more I want to say after I've posted this. I wrote the bulk of this review before I'd seen episode three, but I have seen it now and I had to hold off on adding a lot more of my thoughts so I can save it for a separate review. Which will hopefully be less rambling than this one, but no promises. Let's just say that after watching these first two episodes, I was reasonably pleased with what I'd seen. The simple fact of this show's existence means I would have probably loved it even if it had been rather rough around the edges, and in fact I feel like the first two episodes were broadly pretty strong. Without preexisting love for the characters and story, I'm not sure I would have been over the top hyped for it or anything, but I probably would have had a decent time.

And then I saw episode three, and...

Hold onto your hats, everyone.

My rating for the two-part opener of The Legend of Vox Machina is...

8/10

[rabdoidal]

Hi this is the initial anon that started D&D court!

In a recent session, our party went to visit my character’s grandmother-figure. While there DM introduced a harvest festival that had a nonlethal combat competition and introduced a rival for my character that my dm made up (I put nothing about a rival in my backstory). According to the narrative our dm created, my character had kicked this rival’s ass every year from the moment they entered town to the moment they left.

Initially these characters started out as a birthday one shot and my character was an oathbreaker Paladin, but our DM and another player complained about edgy characters. Wanting to be a good friend and not enjoying being a Paladin much, I reworked my character to be the ultimate team player. So I took four levels of fighter and one of sorcerer. My fighter subclass was banneret which allows me to use my second wind to heal myself and members of my party at the same time. Fighting style I took distracting strike so I could give my party members advantage on hitting the monster. I have been playing this build since July.

We get to the combat and our dm announces that this year the townsfolk are changing it so that it’s in teams and then announces that no magic is allowed in the competition. That removed all of my extra abilities from my one level of sorcerer making my character essentially a level four fighter. But in order to engage with the narrative DM set up about my rival I 1v1 them while my team takes care of the rival’s team. Only 1v1ing meant my distracting strike and my rallying cry were pointless, and I only had one attack because I was level four. So action surge allowed me one more chance to hit in the entire combat. I’d gotten reduced to a slightly heartier level 2.

Meanwhile my rival not only had two attacks but a bonus action grapple that he could do all on one turn. Meaning he had three chances to hit me for my one. He also had a partial stunning strike. When my character eventually got grappled I had to use my entire action to try to break the grapple but didn’t have any bonus actions I could use to give myself help because they were either magic or healing as I had already used action surge. When my team came over to help and hit the guy a few times, my DM did NOT give me any bonuses to trying to break the grapple. Eventually they got the guy off me and I happened to be the next in initiative so I was the finishing hit.

If it had just been a case of bad dice rolls, I’d be bitter about the dice gods not the DM. But I felt like I was being punished for trying to engage in the narrative they set up. According to him I had kicked this guy’s ass multiple times which means we should have been equal if my rival had been working out with the intention of kicking my ass some day. But by removing my access to sorcerer stuff (unless I was willing to get disqualified) made me weaker, and then two of my special abilities as a fighter were rendered useless by the narrative leaning to 1v1. If our DM had set up a friendly team competition, then I would have played it differently and used my team work skills. But I wanted to engage with the rival narrative my DM set up because it would have been bad player behavior otherwise, and my character got nerfed because of it.

Is this unfair DM-ing, or am I just being whiney?

Same initial anon again. I forgot to mention that our DM had allowed us to buy magic gloves that gave us the spell bark skin so our ac was +2. By not allowing magic my ac was dropped to 14.

Okay, a lot to unpack!

In my opinion, the setup was so unfair in the first place that I'm genuinely surprised about the magic ban playing into it as well - if your rival already has 2 attacks (presumably level 5 or above in a martial class) they absolutely shouldn't also be getting a grappling attack - if your DM really wanted to grapple you so bad, then the rival should have the grappler feat, or just be using one or both attacks to grapple. Additionally, I think a more thematic choice for the rival would be for them to have a level in Warlock or another magic class, mirroring the magic your character has taken, but through a more revenge driven lens - then that rival may disqualify himself by using magic to try beat you, leaving you open to use magic again or for you to win fairly without it.

Also, just right out the gate, I don't think its okay that your DM just told you you have a rival. If I were going back to a PCs hometown, I'd ask something like "who were your friends, who did you dislike, is there anyone you remember the most here" if I really wanted to set up a conflict.

Finally, on a personal decision level... I think rivals should be at least a little pathetic and a little weaker than you? Like, they care so much about defeating you but its not integral to your life at all. Being a level 5+ martial glass/grappler while you're losing abilities, class features and magic isn't a good contest, its a beatdown. Rivals play by cartoon logic, not by the bylaws of the DM's handbook - all NPCs have less abilities and features than normal PCs, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me to make some townie fighter better than an adventurer.

I'm definitely in favour of the player, and I gotta sentence the DM to perform magic tricks on stage in front of their hometown.

[gointothevvater]

Her full profile is finally here! Seven pages of information! I may have gone down the rabbit hole just a tiny bit! 

.

St. Cecilia Jameson

Gender: Cis female

Status: Alive

Occupation: Singer for British rock band Stiletto ("Like the knife or like the shoe?" "Yes.")

 Family: Elizabeth Robinson, née Wallis (Mother), Bryony Robinson (Older half-sister), Esme Robinson, née Davies (Grandmother, deceased), Herakles Zafeiriou (Biological father, though she's never met him), Evander Zafeiriou (Older half-brother, who she's also never met, though they've exchanged family photos and stories via email)

Voiced by: Florence Pugh (Speaking), Lzzy Hale (Singing)

Age: A few months younger than Pickles

Date of birth: December 15 (Sagittarius)

Place of birth: Oxford, England

Birth name: Felicity Robinson (Initially, only Sammy knows this, though the rest of SnB learns it at Esme's funeral)

Nicknames: Ceelie (By Pickles and Sammy, mostly, though the Dethklok boys pick it up eventually), Star (By Magnus), princess (By Skwisgaar)

Ethnicity: Half English, half Greek (Though she's unaware of the latter for most of her life)

Height: Five-foot-one

Sexuality: Bisexual

Relationship status: It's complicated. It's always complicated. She's unlucky in love. 

Current location: London, England

Appearance: St. Cecilia is a petite woman (She's half a head shorter than Pickles!) with golden skin and long white-blonde hair, which she wears in a high ponytail. She has thick, dark brows and bright brown eyes (Skwisgaar says she has "wolf eyes"). She has three white marigolds tattooed on each shoulder, a labret piercing, and a vertical collarbone piercing at the hollow of her throat. Her ears are pierced three times each, in which she wears two silver hoops and a silver stud on each side, and she has a small black star beneath each eye. She has a Christina piercing, nipple piercings, and a belly button piercing. She has a No Time For Antivenom tattoo on her sternum, and a European robin tattoo at the back of her neck. Along her spine, she has a tattoo reading "to thine own self be true." She has a shitty stick-and-poke crown tattooed behind her right ear. She has a pear body type, with wide hips, a small chest, and an even smaller waist (Nathan can encircle her waist with his hands). She typically wears a black muscle shirt, ripped dark jeans, heavy boots, black driving gloves, and a studded black leather collar with a D-ring at the front. She also wears a Gibson pearl guitar pick on a necklace, which was given to her by Pickles when they first started dating in the 80s. She wears a silver cuff on each ear, and her tongue is pierced with a simple silver stud. 

During flashbacks to the Snakes N' Barrels era, she's shown with darker blonde hair cut in a mullet style, and only her labret and ear piercings, plus one on the right side of her nose. She wears a cropped white tank, with high-waisted jeans and black Converse sneakers. She wears mismatched armbands, one black, one striped, and the same collar she wears in the present.

Her more casual look consists of a black button-up shirt with the sleeves pushed up, which she wears tucked into a pair of leather pants. She wears pumps instead of boots, and her hair is twisted up in a clip. She keeps her collar, but doesn't wear the pick necklace or her ear cuff, and she switches her hoop earrings for studs. She doesn't apply her stars.

For fancier occasions, she wears a black dress with spaghetti straps and a very short, flared skirt, black opera gloves and black strap pumps. She, as always, wears her collar with it, and she pulls her hair into a high bun. 

Personality: St. Cecilia is cocky, witty, and teasing, but ultimately good-natured. She's a bit selfish and stubborn, but she does everything with 110% effort, hoping to impress people, even if she winds up getting hurt in the process. She'll do literally anything for validation. To say she's vain would be an understatement. She's something of a coquette who flirts with both men and women, and is she has a tendency to "think with her dick," as Tony once put it. She's slow to anger, but quick to jealousy, and she holds grudges for far too long. She's the playful type, but it's largely in a chill way. She's an obvious extrovert, and the role as frontman for Stiletto came very naturally.  

Skills & Hobbies: St. Cecilia writes good poetry, great song lyrics, and terrible erotica. She likes plants and is quite the chess player (Though she hasn't managed to beat Charles even once), which she learned during her school days. She also learned to fence, ride horses, and speak fluent Latin there.

Musical Talents: She's a classically trained singer (When she was little, she was part of her church's choir), and she writes most of the song lyrics and some of the music for her band, Stiletto. In Snakes N' Barrels, she played lead guitar on a white Jackson Pro Series Rhoads RR3, but during their reunion concert, she plays a more modern Gibson Explorer '76 Reissue 2010 Cherry. She took piano lessons for several years as a child, and she's still pretty good. Nothing outstanding, but if Stiletto needs to incorporate a piano into a song, she's perfectly capable of playing it herself. 

Relationships: 

-Pickles the Drummer: Their relationship is a complicated one. They've known each other for ages, and they've been together through the highest highs and the lowest lows, all the way down to rock bottom. She partially blames him for her late teens and early twenties being the fiasco they were, and she cut off contact with him for a long time after the SnB breakup. During the run of the show itself, the two reconcile somewhat and even become more or less friends before Abigail shows up and things start to crumble again. They have a hard time admitting it, but there's love between them, and there has been for a long time. They're both afraid to try getting together again, though, as there's a mutual fear of the relationship ending as it did the first time, with them hating each other again. They're back together at the end of Doomstar, but there's no way of telling if the love between them is enough to keep them together or if they'll just fall apart all over again. 

-Magnus Hammersmith: They were more off-and-on than anything, but they were together for years, even though quite a bit of it was long-distance. It wasn't supposed to be a serious thing. It was just supposed to be a quick fuck. Then it was supposed to be a performance to annoy Pickles, but Magnus quickly realized that St. Cecilia's feelings for Pickles were too strong for her to be any use to him in his revenge plot. The basis of their bond formed because they understood each other on a level they've never known with anyone else: Former Snakes N' Barrels guitarist St. Cecilia Jameson and former Dethklok guitarist Magus Hammersmith both understand on a fundamental level what it's like to be left behind and forgotten. Magnus caught a bit of feelings, and when Roy Cornickelson's funeral came around, Magnus warned St. Cecilia not to attend. It was their last interaction, and it forever cast him in a positive light for her, even after she learned what he was doing with the Metal Masked Assassin. 

-Nathan Explosion: They get along pretty well. Their first meeting was at a singers-only Crystal Mountain party, and they ended the evening with a quickie in the coatroom. He wrote a song about the encounter, but Pickles never figured out that it was about St. Cecilia, which Nathan thinks is just the funniest thing. He mostly sees St. Cecilia as one of the guys once she meets with Dethklok again for the SnB reunion. It's a "been there, done that" kind of deal. She's not brutal, but she's funny and she's fun, and goddamn, is she pretty, and they would absolutely hang out if they could get their schedules to line up.

-Skwisgaar Skwigelf: St. Cecilia is nothing short of enchanted by Skwisgaar. It's not a crush, exactly, but she has a huge amount of admiration for him. They've practiced together a time or two, but she's a little rusty and winds up with her fingers bleeding because her calluses have gone soft. He tends to tease her over her soft hands. A guitar god, he tells her, can't have hands like a princess. His calling her “princess” becomes a bit of a thing for them. The two of them often have brunch together, talking shit and drinking. She's good for him; He's never had a female friend before.

-Toki Wartooth: Within the series itself, St. Cecilia hasn't given Toki much thought. He's cute, but he's just sorta there. His incident during the SOBERTOWN USA concert really scared her, and she more or less avoids him after that. Post-DSR, though, their relationship changes. He, like her, was hurt by Magnus, and even with him dead, Toki misses him terribly. St. Cecilia misses him, too. As sad as it is, this becomes their common ground. Their other connection, odd as it sounds, is pole dancing. St. Cecilia does it for exercise, and Toki did it for money, and they often compete to see who's better on the pole. 

-William Murderface: St. Cecilia actually has a begrudging fondness for Murderface. He's awful, but he's also pretty funny, and she likes to hear him talk about knives and medieval weaponry, as her family home is full of such things. They clash over things, of course, but she likes being around him more often than not.

-Charles Offdensen: St. Cecilia really likes Charles, actually. He's basically the only person on the show who's really "on her level" class-wise. He attended Harvard, and she attended Oxford, so they have a great deal to talk about. They play a lot of chess and fence on occasion, and if it weren't for her feelings for Pickles and his obligation to the Church, they just might have gotten together.

-Dick Knubbler: They're friends, in a way. She thinks he's kind of a weirdo, but he knows how to have a good time, so as long as he isn't hitting on her, she likes being around him. 

-Abigail Remeltincdrinc: They became friends mostly due to the fact that they were both women in the music industry (And both working for Crystal Mountain) and supporting each other seemed the right thing to do. Abigail getting involved with Dethklok and catching Pickles's attention quickly became a sore spot, and they drifted apart after that. After DSR, things got even worse. Abigail, naturally, is glad that Magnus is gone, while St. Cecilia is devastated by the loss. They had something of a falling-out over it, and they haven't really spoken since. 

-Edgar Jomfru: Despite being very different people, St. Cecilia really enjoys Edgar's company. He merely tolerates her at first, but she grows on him, to the point where they're legitimately friends come Doomstar. The two of them often have lunch together on the roof of Mordhaus so they can get some fresh air. 

-Family: St. Cecilia's family consists of her mother, Elizabeth, her older sister, Bryony, and her now-deceased grandmother, Esme. St. Cecilia has a very formal, cold relationship with her mother, and she has no desire to change that. As far as she's concerned, her mother doesn't deserve to have a good relationship with her. St. Cecilia adores Bryony, though. Though Elizabeth brags about her, Bryony remains modest and is very close with her sister because of it. Though there's seven years between them, they may as well be twins. Esme, who passed away in 1993, was more of a mother to St. Cecilia than Elizabeth ever was, and St. Cecilia still misses her terribly. She was a big part of getting SnB off the ground, and the boys even came to her funeral.

-Snakes N' Barrels: St. Cecilia adores all the boys, of course, but Sammy is the only one she really kept in touch with after the breakup. He was her favorite long before Pickles joined. There was a pregnancy scare not long after the band took off that somehow, against all odds, brought the two of them even closer. Sammy was St. Cecilia's first love. Her relationships with Tony and Snazz were much more professional, though none of them were anywhere near professional. The crown tattoo behind her right ear was done by Tony on a drunken night in, and it was too good a night for her to even consider covering it or getting it removed. 

-Stiletto: She gets along with them all quite well! She's known Niamh McLoughlin, their bassist, the longest, and their friendship dates back to their school days. Lex Clarke and Priyanka Dayal, the drummer and the guitarist respectively, came as a package deal, as they've been more or less married for years. St. Cecilia adores them and the sweetness of their relationship. She's a little envious of them, actually, though she would never say so.

History:

-Childhood: St. Cecilia was born in Oxford, England to Elizabeth Robinson. She was raised more or less at her family's girls-only boarding school, away from her mother. When she was fourteen, she fell off a horse during an equestrian class and badly injured her shoulder. She was one of the popular girls during her school days, up until she hit fifteen and decided that she was no longer a child and had a right to demand respect from her emotionally distant mother. She quit the piano lessons she had been taking for several years and took up the guitar, though it aggravated her injured shoulder and even as a teen, she developed a dependence on painkillers. This rebellious period stretched until she was sixteen and ran away with the help of her grandmother. St. Cecilia was given her name just before she left, so it would be easier for her to hide, as well as a hefty sum to tide her over until she could get herself settled. She was only in LA for a few weeks before she met Sammy at a bar where the SnB prototype band was playing. Naturally, Snazz and Tony weren't thrilled with the idea of Sammy's kinda-sorta-girlfriend trying to become their lead guitarist, and when Snazz disparagingly referred to St. Cecilia as Yoko, she broke his nose (How could he have not expected violence when a Beatles-loving British girl was called such a horrible thing?). This earned their respect and is an event that they laugh about to this day. 

-Snakes n' Barrels era: St. Cecilia stuck with the band for several months before they found Pickles, and she was smitten with him the moment she heard him sing. Esme was an important source of financial support during their formative years. The band made it big after not too long, and they all grew quite close. St. Cecilia ended up in an ill-fated off-and-on relationship with Pickles as time went on, and to this day she doesn't remember the first time she told him she loved him. It wasn't long after his first OD and his following stint in rehab that she told him, and they were both drunk in celebration of his release. His tolerance, even post-rehab, was far higher than hers, though, and he remembers, though he sometimes hates that he does. Though there was genuine love between them, the stress of the band and both of their substance abuse problems drove a wedge between not only the couple, but also the entire band. Coupled with Pickles fucking groupies behind St. Cecilia's back and St. Cecilia's becoming a rather serious Vicodin addict to combat the pain in her injured shoulder, the band was doomed. Pickles came to see St. Cecilia off on her flight back to England, saying he would meet her there when his next residuals check came in, but he never made it, and they didn't speak to each other for years afterward. It hurt, but St. Cecilia supposed it was for the best. A clean break, and all that.

-Preklok: After SnB broke up, St. Cecilia returned to Oxford, staying with Bryony in their mother's guest house as she tried to figure out her next move. Despite her gift for writing lyrics, she had no talent for writing books, and that idea quickly went down the drain. She still received a large amount of money in residuals, but she was reduced to a mere socialite, though it mostly agreed with her. At her mother's insistence, she attended a few classes at Oxford University. She absolutely loved it. In 1992, Esme passed away. St. Cecilia only told Sammy about it, but he took the initiative and brought Pickles, Tony and Snazz with him to the funeral. St. Cecilia was initially pissed, but she really appreciated the support. That was the only time she saw Pickles between SnB's breakup and their reunion concert. He was devastated when her parting words to him were "I love you with everything I am, but I never wanna see you again." In the mid-90s, she posed for an issue of Playboy, and Pickles has a copy of the issue tucked away somewhere. It wasn't until 1998, when she moved to a little flat in London, that St. Cecilia reunited with her school friend Niamh and the idea of Stiletto came about. They found Priyanka and Lex at an open mic night at one of the local clubs, and they hit it off, both as friends and as bandmates. They played at many clubs and pubs, and they were soon found by a scout at another open mic night. They signed with the UK branch of Crystal Mountain Records and were assigned the surly but efficient Melinda Glasscock as their manager, and within three years, Stiletto was huge, due in part to St. Cecilia's residual fame from Snakes N' Barrels. Their first tour was through Europe, but the second came to America, where St. Cecilia met Magnus in a bar post-show. They got on really well, and she invited him to her hotel room for the night. They exchanged numbers and got quite close over time, with her even flying him out to London from time to time so they could hang out. Magnus knew who she was from the start, and while he planned to use her feelings for Pickles to get her on his side, that soon faded and he came to genuinely like her. She wouldn't learn who he was until later on. A few years before canon, she had a quickie with Nathan in a coat room at a singers-only part at Crystal Mountain records, and he used the fact that she couldn't fit her mouth around his dick as inspiration for Dethklok's infamous song "Glasgow Smile."

-Season 1: 

-St. Cecilia's first mention within the confines of canon is during Performance Klok, when Pickles mentions he hasn't been in a serious relationship since the '80s despite the fact that he would certainly thrive under such attention. 

-She first appears in Snakes N' Barrels, during the documentary the Dethklok is watching. The guys are a little critical when they (Save Nathan, who's known for a long time) learn that part of SnB's downfall was due to Pickles's failed relationship with St. Cecilia. There's some comedic nonsense talk about fucking one's guitarist before Pickles goes to speak with Charles. Though St. Cecilia is working on an album with Stiletto when she's asked to go the reunion, she manages to push through and finish in time, though she arrives nearly late. She finds Pickles backstage, and when he sweeps in to kiss her, she pulls away a bit, saying they can't do this, as she's spoken for. She lets him hold her close, though. The rest of Dethklok finds them like that, and St. Cecilia excuses herself to go find Sammy, Tony and Snazz. There's some talk about Pickles not leaving Dethklok, which he says he won't, but they're rather worried after catching him with St. Cecilia in his arms. Meanwhile, she manages to find the boys, and they meet with Pickles backstage. While the boys partake of the Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake, St. Cecilia doesn't, as she once humiliated herself by passing out on stage and doesn't wish to repeat the incident. She presses a kiss to Pickles's palm before they go on stage, an old ritual that they were never able to shake. What happens is far worse than someone just passing out, and she and Pickles leave the stage amidst the chaos while the medical Klokateers take care of the boys and see them off to the hospital. It's a disaster. She's embarrassed and angry, and she turns down Pickles's offer of a ride home and calls someone instead, as she didn't get her money converted and can't pay for a cab. This someone turns out to be the man who's claimed her, Magnus, and Pickles is none too happy about it. He tries to stop her from going with him, but it doesn't work. 

-She isn't seen in Dethkids, but she is mentioned. When Pickles starts drinking harder than usual, he finally gives in to the urge to call her, to talk about how Sammy and Snazz and Tony are doing, and to tell her that she should steer clear of Magnus. He's so drunk, though, that she barely has even an idea of what he's talking about. 

-Offscreen, but somewhere between the two SnB episodes, Magnus and St. Cecilia abruptly break up. She has a feeling something was going on with him, but his sudden disappearance really hurt her. They had been together off and on for years, after all. A few weeks before he left, he bought her a little pink knife and showed her how to use it, just in case he wasn't around to protect her. When he left, he left his guitar behind, and she still has it as of Doomstar. 

-Season 2: 

-She's mentioned by Seth in Dethwedding, though only as "that British chick" he thought Pickles would eventually have married. Pickles nearly decks him for even mentioning her.

-St. Cecilia's next appearance is in Snakes N' Barrels II. In part one, during the advertisement for the SOBERTOWN USA concert, she's missing from the band lineup, and Pickles is both relieved and a little concerned by her absence. 

-In SnB II part two, Nathan, Skwisgaar and Toki find her among the crowd at the SOBERTOWN USA concert. Nathan asks if she wasn't invited to play, but she says that she was: She just didn't think it was right to play without Pickles. Realizing that Pickles is sneaking around backstage, she leaves to go find him and try to keep him from doing something he'll regret. She only finds him just as Tony, Snazz and Sammy start freaking out, and she only just manages to keep Pickles from killing Rikki Kixx, though she honestly doesn't mind the thought of him dead. She pulls Pickles away from the stage, where he calls the Klokateers to take care of Sammy, Snazz and Tony, and she sets to icing down his bruised knuckles. She tells him that she and Magnus broke up, and he's thoroughly pleased about it: She's too good for him, anyway. That irritates her a bit, but she tells him to call her sometime, though she insists he do it when he's not drunk off his ass. 

-Season 3: 

-Ironically, when Pickles calls her in Dethhealth to inform her that he's dying, he's in fact drunk again. She wants to go to Mordhaus to see him, but he tells her to stay where she is, as he doesn't want her seeing him like that, though she's seen him at rock bottom as it is. At the end of the episode, he's drunker and higher than ever, but he calls her again to let her know he's all right. She can't understand him, though, so he puts Nathan on to explain. She’s thoroughly relieved, but she’s still considering going to Mordhaus to see him. She implores of Nathan, "Take care of him, all right?"

-Offscreen, in the time between Dethhealth and Dethmas, Pickles goes to London for a while to appease St. Cecilia, and to their mutual surprise, it's not really all that different from how it was when they were actually together. There's lots of cuddling and kissing and great sex and just... Hanging out. It's easy for them to be together. They have their share of problems, but the old spark between them is still there. Pickles is honestly a little scared of that: What if he falls for her all over again just for her to break his heart like she did last time? The fact that she has Magnus's guitar makes him doubly suspicious. He starts drinking harder than ever to drown out the thoughts of her. 

-In Rehabklok, when Pickles's drinking is brought to the attention of the band and he's sent to rehab, he tries for a while to blame it on St. Cecilia. She broke his heart, and he drinks to cope. It makes perfect sense, until he starts to really think about it and realizes that he's equally at fault for how their relationship (And also SnB) fell apart. He realizes, after many years, that he hurt her as badly as she hurt him. And that makes him feel even worse. He talks the doctor into letting him call her to apologize, but it doesn't go well: She's a little offended that he would even consider blaming her for his drinking, given he was a drunk long before they met. "Is that what I am to you now? An excuse to get drunk and act a fool?" Not long after that, Pickles realizes the real cause for his drinking.

-Just before Charles goes to speak to the UN in Doublebookedklok, he calls St. Cecilia and cryptically asks her if she speaks Latin. She owes him a favor for getting her out of some legal trouble, so she can't really refuse. Several months before, she punched a scummy paparazzo who called Magnus washed-up, and Charles used his reeducation program to keep those involved from pressing charges or damaging St. Cecilia's reputation. 

-Season 4:

-In Fanklok, before Charles meets with the band to discuss Klokikon, he welcomes St. Cecilia to Mordhaus and presents her with an ancient-looking journal that belonged to Aurelius Isambard, one of the original prophets of the Church of the Black Klok. She's taken down to the basement, where she's introduced to Edgar Jomfru, and gets to work. 

-In Diversityklok, after he's spoken to Edgar, Charles speaks to St. Cecilia. He finds her engrossed, but thoroughly worried. She asks if this is real, and she's even more worried when he tells her it is. 

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia has been hard at work translating the journal, and she's come to a passage that seems to describe the growing tension between the band. It also mentions an approaching star, and she takes to sitting on the roof at night to observe the sky. 

-In Prankklok, when Pickles tells Nathan that he's not allowed to drink any tequila during their friender-bender, Nathan tells him he can't visit St. Cecilia when they stop in London. Pickles reluctantly agrees. Not long after, we see Pickles on his phone, though, debating on calling her just before he notices the storm warning.

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia approaches Charles about a phrase repeated over and over in the journal: Fata sidus oritur, the star of fate is born. 

-After Charles breaks the news about Ice Festival to Skwisgaar in Bookklok, he goes to speak with St. Cecilia and Edgar in the basement. She's tacked two star maps to the wall: One from the previous week and one from the previous night. There's a spot near the center of the first map that seems bigger on the second one. She looks like the world is ending when she tells him it's the Doomstar. It's real. It's coming? When? Soon, she says. Far too soon.

-When Charles tells the boys he's going out of town in Dethcamp, it's to take St. Cecilia to an observatory, where they meet with Ishnifus and spend a few days tracking the Doomstar's movement as it comes closer and closer to Earth. 

-In Going Downklok, when Pickles shows up all decked out for his meeting with Abigail, Nathan is quick to ask, "Don't you have a girlfriend?" Pickles insists he doesn't; He and St. Cecilia was hurt and angry the last time they spoke. On top of that, he believes she's all the way in London, and Abigail is right there. 

-Offscreen, between Dethdinner and Breakup Klok, St. Cecilia is tagged in the video of Pickles leaving Dethklok by a drunken Toki. She's incredibly hurt. Pickles has nothing, he said. She, apparently, is nothing.

-In Breakup Klok, Pickles tries to call St. Cecilia to invite her to his wine tasting, but she refuses to answer and sends him straight to voicemail. Towards the end of the episode, after the escape from Salacia, Charles requests a check-up on Edgar and St. Cecilia back at Mordhaus, and Pickles is stunned and angry to learn that she's been more or less within arm's reach for months. Had he known, he's certain things would have been different-- He wouldn't have tried to make a move on Abigail and he wouldn't have fucked up his chance to get back with St. Cecilia again.

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia speaks to Charles about staying at a hotel for a few days, just until Roy Cornickelson's funeral, after which she'll return to Mordhaus and her translation work. The day of the funeral, though, she receives a call from Magnus telling her she absolutely cannot attend, as he can't guarantee her safety. It's the last time she has contact with him before his death. We also see her watching the news about Dethklok's breakup and the insinuation that Abigail caused it, and St. Cecilia chucks a bottle at the TV, mirroring Pickles's actions in SnB II.

-In Church of the Black Klok, St. Cecilia is fetched from the hotel by Klokateers and taken to the Dethsub, where she meets with Charles, pointedly ignores Pickles, and goes to work with Edgar instead. 

-The Doomstar Requiem:

-In "One of Us Must Die," St. Cecilia can be seen on one of the slides, staring up into the sky with Isambard's journal held to her chest. Towards the end of the song, reading from the book, she sings, "Dethklok, they must be rejoined/Evil, it must be destroyed/No more apathetic stoics/They can learn to be heroic/Write the song that will be our salvation..."

-In "Training," while carrying the journal, she sings the lyrics, "As the prophecy foretold, the Doomstar has been born/And you all will be endowed with a power known to none." Nathan, Skwisgaar and Murderface are looking at the art of the Prophecy, but Pickles is watching her. Ishnifus places a hand upon her shoulder, and they sing together, "The Deth lights are within you all waiting to be woken/And when the five are united, the evil will be broken," in a show of solidarity.

-In "En Antris et Stella Fatum Cruenti," just after Ishnifus is killed and the Doomstar goes red, we see a shot of Charles, Edgar and St. Cecilia at the Church, watching the sky. 

-In "Morte Lumina," in a mirror to Nathan and Abigail's kiss, we see Pickles approach St. Cecilia, and she presses a kiss to his palm (Which is a really significant gesture between them) before he pulls her into his arms. 

Trivia: 

-The stars on her cheeks are actually a makeup trick, as she's afraid to have a needle so close to her eyes. 

-She smokes Honeyrose Cherry cigarettes (Which have roughened her voice a bit), but she doesn't drink to excess, save when she's with Pickles. He's a terrible influence on her, but she adores him just the same. Considering him and Magnus, she has rather bad taste in men.

-Her signature scent is Estée Lauder's Cinnabar, which features notes of jasmine, orange blossom, cloves, and patchouli. She uses a cinnamon body oil when she wants to get Pickles's attention. It always works.

-She wants nothing more than to be loved, but she's keenly aware of the fact that most of the people who "love" her only want to coast on her fame. It's resulted in her having a hard time trusting people. The fact that Pickles and the rest of Dethklok don't need to coast off her is part of why she likes them so much.

-She's an iced coffee addict, and she prefers chocolate, caramel, or hazelnut varieties.

-She was raised Catholic, and while she lapsed a long time ago, she has occasional bouts of Catholic Guilt. Her name is related to her religion, as St. Cecilia is the patron saint of music.

-Her preferred alcohol is Bombay Sapphire gin, though she also likes white wine and champagne.

-She's a plant mom. Her flat is full of plants, including a little devil's tongue cactus she bought at a farmer's market in LA when she first came to America. It's traveled the world with her! It lived in the cupholder of Snazz's van for several years, and now it lives in her kitchen, perched on top of the microwave.

-She has a pretty serious oral fixation. She's always got something in her mouth: A cigarette, a pen, a popsicle, someone's fingers, a dick. Depends on her mood. Getting her tongue pierced helped a little, as she can play with the stud, but some habits just can't be broken.

-She and the rest of Stiletto own a condo building in London together, and she naturally has the penthouse to herself. It's very airy and open, with lots of mirrors and plants and exposed brick. One corner of her living room is just a huge window that looks out on the city. It's her favorite feature. Magnus is too nervous to go near it.

[thegrinningkitten]

Apple Incident FAQ

Putting it together in this form to better organize all the questions I’ve gotten.

Obligatory disclaimer: All of the things written here are applicable only to my interpretation of DreamTale and do not reflect the canon version of the story in any way. DreamTale belongs to Joku.

= General lore (how everything functions and stuff) =

• DreamTale is treated as a part of UTMV.

• Dream and Nightmare aren’t monsters. They’re actually balls of energy inhabiting solid bodies. Consequently, they’re physically stronger and more resilient than monsters are. Their bodies also won’t dust if they die.

• Consequently, the twins don’t have monster magic. So they can’t form any projectiles until they consume the apples. The only type of magic they’re capable of is the one that allows them to manipulate the motion of their bodies (and some objects, as seen with Nightmare and the throwing knife).

• The twins can’t sense other people’s emotions until they consume the apples.

• The apples don’t produce the energy of feelings but “cleanse” and redistribute it. They actually work as an essential element in the cycle of feelings, and without them the emotions’ “efficiency” will eventually fall to zero. However, they aren’t an infinite energy source; they collect, manage and expel existing energy instead.

• Nightmare before the Incident and corrupted Nightmare are treated as the same person in this AU. There’s trauma and a variety of ailments setting those apart, but he’s the same person at his core.

= Comic-related questions =

• Why the villagers wanted the apples in the first place?

Dream described them as a magical source of positive energy. How exactly they work isn’t quite clear, but whoever has them probably gets to be happy for the rest of his life, right? :D

• Was the whole village in on the plan to steal the apples?

Nope, only the three attackers plus the bunny, who was their accomplice, and the family member she’s heard talking to off-screen.

• What’s up with the tea party? Why were they trying to drug Dream?

The plan was for the twins to come to the “tea party”, where the bunny would drug them, and they’ll just sleep peacefully while the trio takes a few apples. In the end, no one was supposed to get hurt.

• Why did it take so many cups of tea to effect Dream?

The tea is supposed to work on monsters — and affect monster souls and monster magic — and Dream isn’t a monster.

•  What did Dream do with the last golden Apple?

Ate it, thinking he’d be able to keep it safe from the “attacker” that way.

• Why did Dream become a statue?

Basically, that’s what happens when positive energy violently clashes with negative, and they rapidly cancel each other out.

• Is Dream conscious inside the statue?

Not entirely. He’s in a dream-like state that can be affected by the fluctuations of energies around him (so, pretty much he’s seeing a vague continuous nightmare). However, he isn’t conscious enough for time and reality to register. Let’s be real, otherwise he’ll end up completely insane by the the time he breaks out.

Does Nightmare think Dream is dead or does he know that eventually Dream will be un-petrified?

Nightmare doesn’t know anything for sure, but he hopes Dream is still alive. Otherwise he wouldn’t have bothered taking the rest of the black apples. It was initially a protective act rather than a vengeful one.

• Are there villagers that survived/didn't go on this punitive crusade? Or did Nightmare finish them all off and leave an empty world?

Yes, there are those who survived. The mob shown in the comic isn’t the whole population of the village. There are people who were lucky enough to be rescued early, and then there are rare few that Nightmare spared — and they got rescued after that.

Other than that, the world left behind is devastated and soaked in negativity, with zero intelligent life present (except for Dream).

= Future story =

•  What does Nightmare do with Dream's paralyzed stone body after the attack?

He lets it be. He starts visiting it a few centuries later, even tries to free his brother, but is ultimately unsuccessful.

• How long will Dream stay stuck in stone?

Just like in canon, it’ll be 500 years before he ends up free.

•  How does Dream get revived from stone?

Simplified answer: Core Frisk gets help in taking the statue to a highly positive AU, where Dream’s energies are finally stabilized, and he is naturally freed from stone. Inside corrupted DreamTale the energy of the golden apple is in constant conflict with the surrounding negativity — which maintains the state he’s stuck in. (Just to clarify: general, directionless negativity alone isn’t enough to turn him into stone again.)

• What is Dream’s reaction to Nightmares corruption?

Very unsure, actually. It takes him a little while to figure out the goopy monster is even the same Nightmare, and even then he has trouble telling whether his brother is still in there. It messes with him a lot.

• Is Nightmare angry at Dream? Will they become enemies when Dream breaks out of his stone prison?

While I could spend a long time just explaining Nightmare (rationalizing his behavior and his story is a huge part of why I even ended up making this alternative interpretation), the simplified answer would be... Nightmare, the way he is with all the black apples and corruption, sees any kind of positivity as a threat. Positivity literally hurts him. Depending on how strong it is, it could bring unease and nausea or it could result in excruciating physical pain. And his natural instinct (especially early on) is to destroy the source of pain.

Dream just happens to be one of the brightest, strongest sources of positivity, so he’s just... a natural threat, so to speak. So the animosity Nightmare experiences towards his brother is directed at Dream as an entity, not as a person.

• So Nightmare's fully corrupted now? There's no way to bring him back?

The only way that wouldn’t end up in an absolute disaster would be extracting his apple “soul” (killing him in the process), merging it with Dream’s “soul” and replanting the Tree of Feelings from the resulting “seed”, which would pretty much just restart the cycle.

• Would anything significantly change from here on out from the canon, or would there be subtle changes?

That’s a question I struggle to answer simply because I’m not sure what’s canon anymore.

Technically, this whole thing with reinterpreting DreamTale started with an alternate multiverse I call SpectrumVerse, but that’s a huge different thing for discussion. I can talk about it, if anyone’s interested, but I don’t think this FAQ is a place for it.