#but those are not options since I have no proof and entire extended family would stand against me

[furiousgoldfish]

I just realized that I'm defining 'healing' by 'feeling and functioning a little better than I did before' when from any other point of view I literally just escaped, shut myself in, never talk about what happened, get scared of everything, don't make human connections and re-live past situations as if they're still here. But I am feeling a little better than I did. So I'm having good progress I guess.

[somethingpersonarelated]

Another No More What Ifs Analysis

Okay, so... between wanting to analyze this and Our Light, and the kpop posts that I'll be doing that overlap with this. This blog will turn into Persona Music Analysis hour. Long post. Heavy spoilers for P5R, Proof of Justice, and Mementos Mission. BEGIN!

Let's begin with some context for the song. I think this is crucial to understanding why it is associated with Akechi's character. If you're familiar with this, you can skip to the lyrical analysis! The best analogy is that Beneath the Mask is to Akira as NMWI is to Akechi, in my opinion. Proof of Justice was an OVA released with the P5 anime (in May 2019) a couple months before the release of Persona 5 Royal in Japan (October of the same year). This OVA is centered around the relationship between Akira and Akechi. Specifically, Akira's grieving process as he goes through the places where they used to meet to find clues about the phrase "Proof of Justice" which was written in the Leblanc crossword. The Jazz Jin, as noted by Muhen here, is a place where Akechi would typically go alone. He also notes in confidant rank 4 that it wasn't necessarily a place that he was keeping secret, but that he never brought people around there since it was his personal space to reflect. As we'll examine, the content of the lyrics is too specific to not be related to the story, and there aren't any other characters or themes I could think are as associated with the song as Goro Akechi. Just wanted to clear this up first, as for some it's not entirely clear why the song is specifically Akechi's (since it's not explicitly stated, and the lyrics are hard to catch while you're playing through normally).

Lyrical Analysis

people come and they go some people may stay with you though I am all alone tonight and I kept on asking myself questions

The very first line is one of the easiest to dissect. Goro, since the death of his mother, has had few stable figures in his life, whether it is his parents, family, or friends. This also extends to his line of work as a celebrity detective, as he is kept so busy that there are very few people he sees on a regular basis, at all. He notes in the second confidant rank (if you choose to ask if he has no friends) that he doesn't have people that he chooses to spend time with. [I chose this option on my last play through and remember it but I can't find the dialogue anywhere].

The doubt that grows in this verse comes from the second line. He is taken by surprise that there is someone he is giving thought to for more than a couple seconds at time. Someone he is... to some degree choosing to spend time with even though he is doing it for the mission. At first, to investigate the Phantom Thieves identity to prevent them from interfering in his revenge plot, and then to lure Akira into a death trap. Tying it back to the first line analysis with the third and fourth line, this dissonance has put the first example of his doubt in this song.

Conceited I was at time I never really doubted myself But tonight got me thinking about it all if I am the fool or what not

There is a self-awareness that Goro always has about his personas (in the metaphorical sense). Goro kind of knows that he's arrogant and it was not ever something that bothered him. Even his character flaws will not get in the way of his plan, even if those flaws are just his humanity peeking through. There's a longing in Lyn's delivery of the last two lines here. He's stumped as to why he feels this way and the inner conflict makes him pause more than he is comfortable with.

"If I am the fool or what not." This line, is literally perfect, the double meaning is just ugh! We'll see this idea again near the end of the song, but I want to take an opportunity to talk about it now. For two years, Goro was the only Persona-user he knew, so he had no reason to believe anyone would ever stand a chance against him. Not only is he angered at himself for allowing Akira to get close to him and cause these doubts but he's also questioning what his role was.

I do not regret with my choices I'm rather proud ooh I know I won't change anything because I can only be me so

I had already written parts of this analysis like two months ago but I saw a post written by @vashtijoy here on how Mementos mission has a sneaky reference to this song. So check that out! It's something I never noticed.

Before Shido's palace, there's an acceptance of the circumstances in this line, that he has to do it regardless of what he may think because he has a goal. Throughout the third semester, we see an Akechi that is alive and tried to deal with the consequences of his actions before Maruki took that opportunity away from him. But he does not show remorse for what he did, that it was the only path he could have chosen with the information he knew.

How can I be so sure? at a crossroads I'm afraid too But I can't let fear get the best of me Someone once said burn my dread babe

This verse... this verse makes me wanna cry. I cannot even lie to you. The direct statement that there is fear behind the fact that he doesn't want to kill Akira and the acknowledgement in the last two lines that one of them has to end up dead. That he is also acknowledging that Akira must also be fearful, by playing with fire through continuing to lead the Phantom Thieves. The doubt is consuming him in this verse. The crossroad offers two choices, one where he sacrifices himself for Akira and one where Akira no longer is with him. The reference to Persona 3 really carries the weight here with this theory. I would explain more but I only spoiler tagged for P5R so we move.

Who knows what tomorrow holds? just wanna live my life the way I want what fills up my soul is passionate music that makes me want to sing

The first line, to me, reads that he's given up on allowing himself to think if there's another way to resolve his doubts. That there's another path where neither of them die and that it can't exist. He wants to live freely, which is what he thinks is assured once his revenge plan is complete. In another world, maybe it was one where both of them could be together without this chasing them. The last two lines I don't have a particular opinion about, but I think they add to the fact that Goro has given up entertaining other possibilities.

my story will be starring me just like yours ooh ooh who knows when will it end what matters most is how you bring joy to life so

I think about confidant rank 8. It feels written all over this line, and we come back to an idea that was present with "If I am the fool or what not." I think there's a bit of that 'hatred' that he talks about, that he's resentful that Akira story will end differently than his own. He's waiting for the day to come and resolves by centering himself, that once his goal is achieved, that he will achieve joy for the first time in his life. Refusing to acknowledge that Akira was showing him companionship that brought him happiness for one last time.

The Theme of Doubt

One of the things I have had trouble defining is what the doubt Goro is referring to is, or why the doubt is there. It's one of the things that is left in the air. Speculating here a little more than I usually will try to: the doubt stems from the fact that Goro is enjoying his time with the protagonist and is unsure what that means. In terms of what he is doubting, I'm not sure, I don't think he is referring to his plan, but rather the fact that Akira is caught up in it at all. His resolve to complete his plan never changes, but he wishes he could choose to leave him out of this. This tracks with a line stated by the SIU director which implies that some of the cruel actions carried out by the conspiracy/antisocial force by Akechi are not entirely his idea. He still carries them out without hesitation, but he never thinks of them himself. One of the reasons I wrote out this analysis was to see if there were any opinions on what this part of the song meant since I have trouble wrapping my head around it myself.

Goro, in base game and third semester, never shows any form of doubt or regret to the protagonist directly, only brief flickers and implications from dialogue. But this song is layered with it and bashes you in by telling you that it is what he is struggling with most when it comes to executing his plan. It's what nags at me even though I've tried to analyze this song a couple of times on my own.

IN CONCLUSION: I obviously hate goro akechi. (lying is fun)

[bigskydreaming]

I agree with everything you said in the last post but especially the Damian part.

Like I don’t know why people treat it like Dick had to choose between two toys and he chose the shinier model. He was in a situation where a 9/10 year old child was going to go back to a murder cult if he didn’t find a quick way to sure he stayed. And no option was good if Damian left. It was either Ra is going to steal his body or would become a powerful supervillain who would resent the whole family and between that is a whole lot of child abuse. It not like Dick had all the time in the world to figure out a different way for Damian to stay he had maybe like a day. 

Also we never actually got to see Dick’s view on the situation only Tim’s because the only time we got to see that conversation was in Red Robin ( which might be wrong but I’m pretty sure I’m right). Tim was having a slight mental breakdown so maybe not the best narrator. 

Like, the ONE thing I'd love for people to keep more centered in the varying discourses about Dick, Tim, Robin and Red Robin, is that like.....

The writer himself had Tim and Dick reconcile and work together in the aftermath of Tim leaving because he was upset.

It really doesn't get mentioned enough IMO that at no point in the actual canon stories was Dick ever oblivious to Tim being hurt, uncaring of this, nor did the canon ever try to claim on Dick's behalf that he DIDN'T hurt Tim, y'know?

I talked earlier tonight about the importance of remembering that these are fictional characters who can not CHOOSE any actions for themselves, but rather are ruled entirely by what the writers choose FOR them.

And the thing is.....for all that Dick is often characterized in fanfics as being oblivious or uncaring to having hurt Tim, or say that he kicked Tim out of the house and the city, or that he called Tim crazy or that he chose Damian OVER Tim or all these other things.....

None of those things say anything about Dick or what kind of character he is, despite the fact that fanon and fics have made a huge deal OUT of running with the idea that THOSE acts in fact say a LOT about Dick's actual character or whatever.....

But like, the point is not just that none of those things say anything about Dick simply because they're not how the canon went....

JUST as important, IMO, is the fact that none of those things are even in the BALLPARK of saying anything about Dick's actual character.....

Because the actual canon was written the way it was for the sake of TIM'S story. It was never about trying to make Dick look good, the events played out the way they did because the writer INTENDED there to be conflict between the brothers about it! Dick didn't find some magical way of ensuring that he delivered the news to Tim in the absolute right way possible because he just didn't care enough about Tim's feelings to do so....Damian delivered the news to Tim in the absolute worst way possible BECAUSE the writer WANTED the chasm between Dick and Tim.

THE CONFLICT WAS THE STORY!

And just as importantly.....the same writer who caused the conflict also RESOLVED the conflict. In his own same stories. Tim and Dick may have never hashed over every single detail of Tim's issues with Dick, but there was CLEARLY a reconciliation. Tim showed his forgiveness, his understanding of why Dick had done what he'd done and the fact that he'd made his peace with it, in a variety of ways from telling Dick he still had his trust, joking with Dick in SPECIFIC ways that called back to personal in-jokes that they'd had since the 90s -

(and that in fact were originally written by the same writer....like, the Brady Bunch jokes are a SPECIFICALLY Fabian Nicieza thing, as in he's the only writer who has EVER had Dick and Tim having that particular in joke between them, and he established it when he first wrote Tim, when he and Dick were great during Tim's time as Robin in the 90s. Tim calling back to those jokes during Red Robin and specifically reinviting memories of some of his favorite moments with his brother HIMSELF, like was as clear a peace gesture as you can get, IMO.)

But point is....the conflict happened the way it did, because it was MEANT to happen. There was supposed to be conflict, so by that very token, Dick wasn't MEANT to find the perfect way to handle the Robin situation that made sure Tim didn't suffer any negative feelings about it.

The reason its lasted so long as discourse in fandom was that regardless of the fact that the writers and characters both showed a resolution to the conflict that was deliberately sown to BE a conflict in the first place....

Fans of Tim decided this resolution wasn't adequate enough.

And so the events of it have been tweaked endlessly, as has the fact that the brothers reconciled itself, in order to keep this conflict extended far beyond the parameters or duration of the ACTUAL canon conflict its based on....with Dick further exaggerated into this uncaring instigator because the conflict FANS wanted was one in which Tim was Dick's victim in a way that he was never intended to be by the initial source conflict, which wanted BOTH characters to be somewhat sympathetic but now turned into a one-sided thing where only ONE character is 'deserving' of sympathy.....

But the problem is....that wasn't the story. And this wouldn't BE a problem, due to it being fanfic and fanfic being innately transformative, if not for the fact that people keep trying to point to canon actions as the proof of conclusions they're drawing about Dick's actions in the FANON conflict.....when the only thing the canon actions are meant to serve as the foundation for, is the conflict which ACTUALLY happened AND was resolved in canon!

And the thing is, a lot of fandom have done a lot to compare this situation to Dick losing Robin in the first place, but without actually leaning into that comparison in order to examine how Dick truly felt about that then, and ACTUALLY make it the comparison they're raising it as.....

(people can't claim that they've done this if they themselves are calling the situations parallel and yet clearly holding Tim and his feelings as innately more sympathetic and deserving of understanding than they're willing to even retroactively apply to Dick in the very situation they themselves have invited comparisons to....like if you're STILL calling for Dick's head for what he did with Robin here in a way that you're not having any characters anywhere, even just in reference or passing say that Bruce deserves being chewed out for to similar degrees.....your comparison is rigged from the start, it just is)....

But ultimately at the end of the day, there IS an answer for why Dick wasn't more careful and studious in his handling of the Robin situation....and that answer, for better or worse, is that he wasn't MEANT to be. The handling exists the way it played out, because it was meant to engender a specific conflict, one that was then resolved to the satisfaction of the story's writer.

If that wasn't to the satisfaction of fans, that's understandable! No story ever satisfies all fans!

But the problem is, the transformative nature of fanfic cuts two ways. And this is what people so often conveniently overlook when they cite that you can do anything with fanfic and that its subject to everyone's personal wants and agenda.

Like this is all perfectly true. But what people CAN'T do, is forbid others from drawing conclusions based on what decisions you do and don't make with fanfic.

And the problem with the Red Robin discourse, is we have a conflict that was engineered from the start, and negatively impacted a particular character aka Tim.

And the resolution the canon offered didn't satisfy the itch a lot of Tim's fans had for that particular conflict.

But the thing is.....there's two entirely different ways to tweak a conflict with fanfic.

You can make it BETTER.

Or you can make it WORSE.

And nine out of ten times - with this being especially obvious when you keep in mind that the canon itself DID CREATE RESOLUTION TO ITS OWN CONFLICT - its very apparent that a lot of fans just were not interested in making the resolution of this conflict even BETTER than what we got in the canon.

See, because the reason it happened in canon at all was NOT in fact because Dick was just as uncaring and neglectful as FANON of this conflict makes him out to be....since the reason it happened that way at all was ONLY because the writer needed it to happen in SOME way that sowed conflict between Tim and Dick and sparked Tim's solo journey of self-discovery.....

The only real way to BETTER resolve the conflict of the Robin mantle transition...

Would be for Dick to specifically approach Tim in such a way as to take his feelings about the matter into account and make his argument for why he felt Damian needed this now.

And that's something that's ABSOLUTELY easy to do, because the only reasons things DIDN'T happen that way in the first place, was circumstantial! Because the story was PLOTTED to have Damian spill the beans before Dick even had an opportunity to talk to Tim one on one. Changing a story's direction born of circumstance is one of the easiest things to do with fanfic since all you have to do is write different circumstances! Nobody's character even needs addressing there, because no character is inherently flawed for that story happening the way it did....that's why the story WORKED, in canon! Dick just circumstantially wasn't given even an OPPORTUNITY to be as conscientious about the matter as we would have liked him to be.

Easy, EASY fix with fanfic.

But that's not what fanfic tends to do with this particular story point, is it?

Instead, we get constant worsenings of Dick's motivations, Dick's choices, Dick's reaction to Tim's response, etc, etc.

The slant is entirely one-sided, aimed at making Tim not just more sympathetic, but Dick LESS sympathetic. Making it a nuance-free example of not even two brothers fighting in the face of their mutual grief, but one being VICTIMIZED by the other's willful ignorance of their feelings and loss, while simultaneously demonstrating none of the same himself.

And that's a choice that tons of fanfic writers have made, and they GET to make that choice, but what doesn't get to happen is making everyone else pretend that this was the only way the story COULD have gone, the TRUE resolution it deserved and the thing that ACTUALLY said something indicative of Dick's character.....

When not only were there these other opportunities to resolve the conflict in ways better for BOTH characters....the resolution of the actual conflict is considered irrelevant even though creating a conflict that could be resolved in story was the ONLY reason for the characters making the specific choices they made in the first place!

The discourse is literally all just born of people using the slight against Tim's character as an excuse to make Dick's character look worse. IMO to distract from the fact that this happened at all, because the real gripe was with Tim not being Robin anymore but there was no way to unilaterally decry that WITHOUT making the case that Damian should never have been Robin, and most fans I think recognize that would have been a nonstarter, discourse wise. There’s no rolling the clock back on a new Robin EXISTING, that’s been proven conclusively in the past. Once a character has been a Robin, you can’t argue away their right to ever be one period. If it couldn’t happen with Steph, despite the shortness of her Robin tenure and the smaller size of the girls’ fanbases relative the various Batboys (and let’s not pretend a disparity doesn’t exist there), then it wasn’t going to happen with Damian. So fans made their displeasure known in another way - venting it on the character that precipitated the changing of this particular guard.

And the thing is, ultimately, for all the comparisons made to the Bruce and Dick Robin debacle, they all fall short of being valid given two fundamental differences:

1) Canon has one hundred percent refused to ever fully address the conflict Bruce created in story when he fired Dick or just gave Robin away to Jason, with the only time its ever really been addressed in the comics being when Dick came to confront Bruce about it and Bruce made no form of actual apology or recourse, but instead ultimately just yelled at Dick about missing him and then told him to go. Which umm. Yeah. Oh, the resolution of it all.

2) The other key difference being that while there are certainly fans who have used these story points simply TO make Bruce look worse, the same as I'd argued happened with Dick in the Red Robin scenario.....it is still undeniable that there are a sizable number of fans such as myself who have always insisted we only raise this particular story element because we WANT to see better or actual resolution of the conflict raised in story - aka Bruce firing Dick or just giving away Robin - AS WELL AS being very clear on a perfectly easy way TO showcase better resolution: just having Bruce fucking OWN HIS ACTIONS AND APOLOGIZE FOR THEM.

So even with the awareness that while ultimately both Robin turnovers only happened because the writers chose that conflict happen, they remain incomparable in my mind purely because only one of them was ACTUALLY resolved or treated as resolved in canon, and like.....the other one is the only one that actually has fans continuously making the point of what story actions can actually be taken in meta, headcanons and fics, TO create the resolution we want.....whereas the other conflict will never be resolved any better than it is in canon, because the people who keep raising the conflict don't even want to acknowledge that it even WAS resolved in canon at all, because that would defeat the entire purpose of continuously worsening the conflict specifically TO create reasons for a continued grudge against Dick's character.

And you flat out just can't ever resolve a conflict that people ultimately WANT to exist.

[pi-cat000]

FMA:B/BNHA Crossover (1)

Summary: Ed gets stuck in the BNHA world after the end of brotherhood. He starts trying to find a way home and ends up inadvertently working for the league of villains.  

(fic I started writing a while back. I just like the image of Ed getting increasingly frustrated with how illogical quirks are)

Part 2: here

.

Edward notices tall, dark and suspicious the moment he enters through the rickety front door into his poor excuse of an office. It wasn’t just the way his entire head was covered in a low hood, though that was mighty suspicious, no, this dude gave off some of those dangerous vibes that he would usually associate with a homunculus. The stranger's movements were slightly off, as if not quite human. Only, there was no such thing as a homunculus in this weird word. Well, not that he knew of.

  “Brat! Are you listening to me!”

   Ed begrudgingly turns his attention back to his irate landlord. The older man is leaning over Ed’s desk, close enough that Ed can see the numerous wrinkles pulling down his face. “You better not be skimping on our arrangement.”

  “Hey,” Ed taps a finger against the wood, leaning forward so the old man is forced back at the risk of butting heads, “This whole building needs new wires …do I look like an electrician?”

  That enlists an expression of acute irritation and more annoyed huffing, “Don’t get smart with me. I’ll evict your freeloading ass so fast that…”

  “Oi! Our deal was that I fix the roof, get rid of that mould up on the third floor, and you set me up for the next month.”

  “The deal was that you handle the building’s upkeep and I put a roof over your ungrateful head.”

  “Just because I can fix up some rotting floorboards doesn’t mean I’m an expert electrician… how about you go hire a person with qualifications while I get on with my day job.” He smacks his hand on the table for emphasis, motioning at tall, dark, and mysterious waiting a few steps behind the older man. Technically, he could probably figure out how to fix the building’s faulty wiring with alchemy but there was no way he was getting suckered into helping his grumpy scam artists of a landlord any more than was promised.

  To his credit, the old coot takes one look at the shadowy figure and decides to put any further complaints on hold.  

  “I’ll be back. This ain't over,” is grumbled at Ed as the man makes his exit, skirting around the larger stranger with a healthy amount of apprehension.

  “Don’t do me any favours!” Ed snaps after him, rubbing his forehead before eyeing his potential customer. The location where he has set up shop isn’t the most affluent or safe so, for all he knew, this weirdo was about to rob him. Not that he had much to steal. He had arrived in this world with nothing and, four months later, he still has barely enough to feed himself on the regular.  Not when he is pumping any money he earns into his search to get home.

  “Ah…sorry about that,” He squints, trying to see under the stranger’s hood and is met with only darkness. It almost looks like the other man is made of purple smoke. It’s unsettling. No doubt the by-product of some more weird quirk bullshit. Ed tries to keep his tone as polite as possible. “You came to get something fixed right?”

  “It has been reported that you can repair anything?” The question is asked with little inflection. Almost toneless. Hopefully, this is a customer and not a cop trying to bust him for illegal quirk usage…great.

  “Sure,” He puts on his fakest of smiles, channels his inner Ling, and launches into his best sales pitch, “I have a reconstruction quirk…as long as most of the pieces are present, I can put it back together.”

  “…and does that extend to construction and building work?”

   “Ah,” The stranger didn’t appear to be carrying anything substantial on him so the object in need of fixing was probably located elsewhere, “what the hell do you need fixed?”

  There’s no response to his question and Ed crosses his arms, “I can’t do anything high-tech, too many intricate moving parts, but building construction is fine as long as the materials are all there and I have time to plan. Might take me a few goes depending on the scale. It will cost you extra as well. I’ll have to see it to be sure of the exact price.” He rattles off his fake quirk limitations with practised ease. In a world filled with nonsensical abilities, his alchemy fit right in. 

  The tall man thinks for a moment, leaving Ed to ponder the strange nature of the request. This is the first time he has been asked to do building work, usually, people wanted more mundane repairs like fixing furniture or jewellery.

   “Acceptable,” comes the abrupt response, “My employer requires some discrete building installation and repair, basic reconstruction, shelving, wall-fittings, construction. All onsite work.”

  “That’ll be pretty expensive….” Ed answers slowly, “and time-consuming.”

  “All materials will be provided. The price will not be an issue.”

  “Okay…” Ed narrows his eyes, examining the figure, but the shadows give nothing away. “Where exactly is this job?”

  “Transport to the site will be arranged.”

  As if to emphasis the statement, Tall-Dark-And-Smokey raises a hand and an inky black circle appears on the wall. The sudden action has Ed half rising from his seat, preparing to attack or defend. A beat passes and nothing happens.

  “The mode of transport,” Tall-Dark-And-Smokey explains, motioning to the black circle. It is a quirk effect, obviously something to do with travel. Ed relaxes but remains standing.  Is it just him or does the guy sound partly amused as his obvious unease? He carefully extracts himself from behind his crowded desk to step around and take a closer look.

  “So I just step in that and hope you’re not about to screw me over.” He folds his arms, more irritated now.

  “Your caution is understandable,” The purple circle fluctuates, undulating, and Tall-Dark-And-Smokey puts a hand inside his jacket pocket. Ed tenses again, ready to clap his hands together, relaxing only when he sees the stranger produce a white envelope. In a deliberately slow movement, the envelope is placed atop the uneven stack of books Ed has piled near the door. Ed once again gets the sense that the other man is amused.

  “Consider this a sign of goodwill and proof of our willingness to pay whatever needed,” The man tugs his hood, so it further hides his non-existent face. “Think it over. I will come by later for a response.”

  Tall-Dark-And-Smokey steps into the swirling circle which shrinks, disappearing completely.

  “Later? When the hell is later supposed to be?” Ed snaps at the empty room.

  “Tch,” He glares at the wall and its peeling white paint. What a weird unsettling guy. Suspicious as all hell.

  So far Ed’s stay in this universe hadn’t exactly been smooth. He had arrived in a building collapsing around him, later revealed to be a fight between one of this world's 'heroes’ and ‘villains,’ mentally and physically exhausted from his sudden trip through the Truth’s Gate. From there it had been touch and go as he tried to find his footing, not get accidentally killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and avoid getting himself arrested for not having identification or a quirk licence which was apparently a pretty big deal in this word. With his poor track record, he is tempted to just pack up and not get involved with Tall-Dark-And-Smokey.  

  Only…

  “A teleportation quirk…” He mutters, examining the wall more thoroughly and finding nothing out of place. It is the first time he has come across an ability like this. Against his better judgment, curiosity takes root. How far could it teleport? What were the conditions? Did it consume energy? What sort of energy and how much? What were the limitations? A lot of these weird abilities, quirks, had just as weird limitations.

  Maybe this was the breakthrough he needed.

  Ed’s alchemical research into escaping this world had long been stalled upon the realisation that the only way back to Amestris would be the same way he had left. Through the Gate of Truth. It would require an alchemy array the size of a small city and a sacrifice akin to a thousand human souls…possibly more…He hadn’t had the heart to make the exact calculations. There was no point in calculating the exact number of deaths required for him see his brother again. It wasn’t an option so he wasn't entertaining it. However, if he could somehow bypass the Gate, maybe by using some sort of quirk, then perhaps there was still hope for him. Teleportation had been one of the ones he had been on the lookout for.

  Ed clenches his metal fist, reaching for the envelope with the other, hoping for a distraction. He almost expects it to be some sort of scam. Instead, he is meant with a stack of the place’s currency, neatly bound together.

  It is a lot of money.

  He stares in disbelief, slowly pulling out the bills and running his finger over them. It is more money than all his repair jobs and his periodic pawning of ‘family heirlooms’ have made him since coming here. With this, he would be able to pay actual rent and any other bills for the next month and then the month after. Heck, he’d be able to buy himself some decent meals, a new computer and a better phone on top of that.

  Ed shoves the money back in the envelope and lets out a long, frustrated breath. There had to be a catch. No one just gave away this sort of money without reason. Not in the shithole of an area he’d set himself up in. Who the hell was willing to just throw money at someone to build goodwill? It sounded like the sort of suspicious behaviour that, had he encountered it on one of his missions, he would have reported it back to Mustang for further investigation. Not like he can just report stuff here, not without bringing unwanted scrutiny.

  Ordinarily, Ed would have scoffed and refused the obviously illegal work. However, a quirk was one of his best chances of getting home. Maybe, if he accepted this work, he could bargain for information on the guy's teleportation ability. Not like he hadn’t done other illegal things since arriving here.

  What would Alphonse say? Al was always better at reading people. Maybe he would tell him not to get involved with shady types? Or maybe he would say that Ed was too paranoid and he should give them a chance. Then again, his brother might caution him against it and tell him it was his duty to send in an anonymous tip to the nearest police station. Probably the last one. God damnit he misses Al. Ed stuffs the envelope into his shoulder bag, the one containing a portable automail maintenance kit and encoded alchemy notebooks.

  Next, he is pulling on his signature coat, coloured grey instead of bright red because red stood out and as much as he hated it, he needed to keep a low profile. Ed shuffles out of his makeshift shop, turning to lock the door. He needed more information and his four months in this world hadn’t left him entirely without contacts.

Part 2: here

[helsaguy]

Maybe this counts as a request, I love your new drawing. The message in your art is always sweet and loving. Drawing happy/cute Helsa. And I like Elsa with her hair down and all, but I would like to see Helsa is some Arandelle-ish attires (btw, I love the Green coat you drew for Hans before). Elsa may not need to be Queen, but she deserves to return to her homeland...or do you agree she shold stay in the EF instead of Arendelle? Request turned to ask in the end, sorry ^^u LOVE your art! Chao

Thank you for the message of support and appreciation.

I'm feeling like breaking down this nice message. So if I may:

Some melancholic, sad, even brutal ideas have popped up in my head when thinking about things to draw. But I rather work on the happy stuff for these two. They went through so much in life and the fans of this ship, the ship itself, and Hans get so much unnecessary and undeserving cr*p that I definitely want to put a stop to all that (even if for a little while) with my happy Helsa fan art. That’s one of my goals and reasons to draw what I draw.

When you say you want Helsa in some Arandelle-ish attires I have some questions. I can draw something like that for Hans. I still have to draw my concept or reference sheets for Hans’ outfits in Frozen 2 and two or three of those are Arendelle style (if you want to count sleepwear. Also glad you love the green coat. That would be Hans’ travel outfit and yes; it’s one of the Arendelle style outfits) But what do you want for Elsa? I always have trouble with her hair down and ice dresses. I don’t know if it looks like I pull it off well or not in my pictures but it’s not the easiest for me to draw her magic clothes lol If I were to draw Elsa for this request, do you want me to draw Elsa with her hair in a braid, a ponytail, down? And what kind of clothes do you want me to draw for her? Normal clothes or ice? What am I getting myself into? I have zero knowledge in fashion XD I can’t believe I’m actually willing to take a request! Long ago I said I wouldn’t take those anymore lol But I guess this is because your request sounds very reasonable to me.

I do think Elsa doesn’t belong in the EF. I don’t care the excuses some make about the tribe being Elsa’s mother’s people or whatever. They are still strangers. I have relatives from Spain and that doesn’t mean I’d be ok with moving over there with a bunch of people I don’t know and to a place I’m not familiar with. I have a life and family where I am. And so does Elsa in Arendelle.

And if that’s the excuse some want to use, guess what? Anna should go live there as well then. It’s her mother too. And much like I’ve said before, if they wanted to have the sisters separated (which sucks for this franchise) and have one live in the forest, Anna made the most sense since she’s the one that wanted to meet strangers, get out, has a committed partner that also has lived outdoors, and is a reindeer fanatic much like the Northuldra XD Anna and Kristoff would fit right in instead of Elsa lol And don’t get me wrong, Anna can make a good Queen? Maybe. But I don’t see being married to Queen Anna as the best life for Kristoff. I feel like in order to stay with her Kristoff would put himself through anything, even royal life. Which it doesn't sound like a bad thing per se. But Anna is not the only one that matters in the relationship, or does she? I guess Anna and Elsa’s mother did the same when she married their father. But it looks like she had no other options and I don’t care about those two anyway. However, is that really a good thing for Kristoff? He can’t spend more than an hour in formal clothes and I presume things will be demanded from him now that he is the Queen’s fiance and has literally nothing to offer to a kingdom. Disney really didn't think this sequel and all their nonsense through...

I think is clear no one in this movie is doing things they want to do but things they have to or were told or taught by someone else to do. Anna becomes Queen because Elsa said so and in consequence Kristoff is bound to a life style that might not agree with his characteristics. There’s no evidence that this is what neither Anna nor Kristoff want, they just roll with it because the movie says so. This is your life now so deal with it. Elsa was born to be Queen and her father thrust her with nothing but bad advice and is one of the catalysts for Elsa’s disorders. We don’t know if she ever had problems with being Queen. Her problems came from not controlling her powers because of the fear of hurting others. Nothing of which has to do with her not being happy in Aredelle or not being comfortable with her role as Queen. That’s the life she knew all her life. Some may want a different life after some time if they’re not happy with it, but if that were the case for every royal in the world, then there wouldn’t be Queen of England or Kings and Queens of Spain, and other countries that still live under monarchies. The people who made Frozen have zero respect for the role of a monarch. If Elsa wants to take some time off (which she deserves) she can count with advisors and even her sister. Anna as Princess should hold some responsibility as well and help her sister. But the title of Queen isn’t something that sisters should be throwing onto each other as if playing a game of hot potato. The reign over a country or community is something serious, is important, and those behind these movies are taking it as a joke or nothing but a babysitter job. And on top of all this Elsa now has to deal with being a “fifth spirit” (whatever that entails) because her DEAD mother basically says so...

If Elsa wants to visit the Northuldra to get acquaintance with her mother’s birth culture, that’s cool. Also is fine to some extend if she wants to spend some time over there to atone for the crimes committed by her grandfather. But Anna should go through that stuff as well. It’s her freaking family and legacy too, damn it. And this is something I believe the entire fandom is taking for granted or ignoring altogether. But leaving her life in Arendelle to go live in the forest? Yeah, that’s not the answer to anything.

Now going back to my fan art. I only depict Helsa in the "wild and free" life style because that’s what Frozen 2 gave me to work with. And this is also my way to cope with this forsaken sequel. But I have alternate universes of my own invention to allow myself the exploration of several different outcomes. Some include:

Creating Good Childhood Memories AU. Hans met Elsa and Anna as kids. In this one Elsa and Anna’s parents aren’t a$$holes and everyone in the royal family of Arendelle welcomes Hans with open arms. The boy lives an awful life in the Southern Isles but deals with it a little better because now he is friends with the Arendelle Princesses; he goes to visit and spend time with them often. In their early teens Elsa and Hans develop a crush on each other (Anna roots for them but won’t help doing some occasional teasing embarrassing the awkward pair) that evolves into their late teen years with Hans asking the Arendelle King and Queen for their blessing to court Elsa.

Aunt Elsa and Uncle Hans AU. In this one Frozen 2 doesn’t happen. Elsa keeps being Queen (and is happy that way), Hans is her consort and they live happily balancing the duty of governing over Arendelle and spoiling Anna and Kristoff’s kids (courtesy of frozenmusings) The kids spoil them as much in return since they love them as a second set of parents as well.

Into the Unknown AU. One I haven’t put much thought into and is my excuse for playing more with a fantasy theme. I came up with it a couple of days ago. Elsa and Hans stay for some time with the Northuldra little by little getting comfortable with an outdoors life style and they get deeply in touch with nature; Elsa’s specialize in the elemental spirits while Hans thrives with animal life and living from the earth. In this AU they leave the tribe to establish their “home base” in Ahtohallan. They have evolved into something different and kind of leave the mundane life behind. Maybe they are true mythic figures. 

God bless imagination!!

Back to your request. I am considering taking it. So please leave me a message with the answer to the questions I asked above^^ And thank you for such inspiring message. The proof is all the writing I did XD

[broken-heartedgirlff]

Chapter 33- Wasted

Slammin' 'em fast at the bar tops Drinkin' them straight with no regrets Obviously I've got a problem I like the tasteWanna get wasted with you Tell me what's good for me but I don't care Wanna get wasted off you Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah    I like the taste 

Chapter 33 ~ Wasted

Avery

I put the cool glass against my forehead. I was extremely hungover, and being in this position isn’t good for me, but nor did I care. Did I have a problem? Yes, but when you’re feeling the pain that I am feeling, you just need to numb it.

I stared at the newest form of papers that basically called me an unfit mother, and that Olivia wanted to terminate my rights to my son and take him away from me. We’ve been going for months back in forth, and I guess now we actually have court because the papers are here.  

I honestly cant believe this bitch. She took Jeremiah, but I refuse for her to take away Aiden. He was the only reason why I got up in the morning. 

Okay, did I leave him with Jeremiah once I knew his marriage with Olivia was finished. Yes, because I knew that I had one upped her, once and for all. I broke up her marriage, had his baby but I couldn’t take the pressure of him always choosing them so I left. I swear I was gonna come back. But I guess I didn’t come back fast enough

I sniffled, did I truly want Aiden? I want him, as long as Jeremiah came with him. I didn’t care about his other children, in fact, I hated them. But I wanted Jeremiah. I wanted him to love and hold me again like we used to.

“What are you looking at?” I looked up to see my boyfriend King, naked, standing in the doorway to our kitchen.

I shrugged, “Papers from my ex, claiming I’m unfit and terminating my rights to my son.”

His dick swung between his legs as we walked closer to the counter where I was. I had every intention of getting on my knees and putting it in my mouth but I needed to focus on the issue at hand. No matter how horny I was.

“Well, it’s our way out of taking care of the little bastard. Sign the papers and give him what he wants, I’m sick of this legal shit.”

He made it clear from day 1 that he didn’t want children. I knew that, and I still stayed with him. Which is why I left Aiden with Jeremiah in the first place. Did I love this man? Absolutely not, he wasn’t Jeremiah. But he gave me everything I wanted. Money, Status, Alcohol, Drugs and attention. Things that J could never.

No my boyfriend doesn’t know about the times I went to their house, trying to fuck Jeremiah, and he will never know, because if he did, he’d probably kill me.

“I want to fight it.” I spoke loudly  

He looked at me like I was crazy. Hell I was.

“Why in the hell would you do that? You know I would leave, and never look back. We agreed Ave. NO KIDS! I don’t want them bloodsuckers. I hate them.” He spoke in disgust and anger. He was gripping the counter, focusing on his breathing. I knew if I didn’t calm him down, I would end up in the hospital again.

“Big Daddy, If I fight it. Aiden will come here, for a few days and we’ll get them to sign over papers paying child support, and give him back to them. Plus no judge is going to allow Olivia to adopt him, they aren’t married.” I said

I knew my plan was bullet-proof. Fight long enough for them to pay child support for Aiden, take it and spend it on my man. Send Aiden back to them and collect on the payments.  

“Baby, they are married.” He spoke showing me the paperwork, and indeed they were.

“WHAT!” I screamed snatching the papers from him, but I took my voice down a few octaves, I didn’t want daddy to be mad at me, or see how upset I really was.

“What the fuck! We need to get Aiden back daddy.” I pleaded.  

He pushed my hair out of my face, and tucked it behind my ear, revealing a healing black eye. He rubbed his thumb over the bruise, which caused me to wince and travelled down to my lips, which he loves.

“If I help you, what are you going to do for daddy?” He said in a sexy ass way. It made my pussy wet immediately.

I smiled, and backed away from him, going to the drawer next to him. Pulling out a bag of our favorite white powder, cocaine.

I set up a line for him, which he sniffed up immediately. Ugh that shit was sexy as fuck.

I set up a line for myself and followed after him, while slowly playing with his dick. He moaned softly, but his dick was hard as a rock.

“You know what I want you to do,” He spoke.

“Yes daddy.”

I got on my knees in front of him, and watched him watch me. I carefully set a line of coke on his dick, immediately sniffed it up, and as soon as the high from the first line hit me I put his dick in my mouth.

“Uhh… fuck Ave.” I moaned while I looked him dead in the eyes.

Oh, we are about to get started. 

Rack

“Baby. Do you want anything from the store?” I called out to Rose

“No. I’m good,” She called back from the living room.

Leaving the apartment, it was a nice beautiful day. I was pretty excited, I was buying Rose the most beautiful house, her dream home. I couldn’t wait to show it to her.  

I know, that we’ve been through a lot and I love that girl. She pulled me out of the game and she set me straight. She was everything that someone could be for me and I for her. I love her with all of my heart.  

I also want to talk to her about extending our family. I know she can’t carry a baby full term. It’s bad for her health, and could kill her. But I had an idea, on how to get everything that we want. which is why I’m on my way to Liv’s house to talk to her.

~~~

“Nigga you always at my house, do you ever fuckin leave?” Jeremiah said with annoyance.

I rolled my eyes, no, I still don’t like this nigga. He broke our promise all those years ago, and I don’t care. He still a snake in my eyes.

“I’m here for my sister, and last I checked, this her house nigga.” I spat back as Liv entered the kitchen

“ANDRE! Stop fuckin with Jeremiah and J stop fucking with Rack! Please!” She yelled at the both of us.

“I’ll be in the den.” He said to her kissing her on the forehead, and flipping me off, walking out the room

“Fuck you too bitch.” I said

Liv just rolled her eyes, “What do you want little brother?” She said to me, while preparing dinner for her family

I needed her to understand where I was coming from, and I knew she was the person to help  

“I need help. I want kids. and I want kids with Rose.” sadness, was obvious within my own voice and apparent enough for Liv to catch on

“Rack-“  

I could tell she was worried about my mindset behind this conversation, but I needed to reassure her that everything was fine.

“I’m fine. I just want help looking for a surrogate, I want to be with Rose forever and I want our family to grow.”

She smiled at me, “Is this Rose’s idea?”

I shook my head, “No, she hasn’t brought up children since the hospital, and back then, you were in a coma, and everything was going wrong for our entire family. I just want this really bad and I want to give her options so that she knows I’m serious about it.”

“Are you gonna be okay if she told you no?” She quizzed

I hadn’t really thought about it, “She’s not gonna say no, she’s gonna be thrilled about it. I promise. We want this Liv.”

She smiled brightly, “Look at my little brother growing up!! Of course I’ll help you. I know some of the best adoption/ surrogacy agencies and lawyers out there. Now if only we can get Lei to think like this.” she said brushing her hair out of her face.

I started to laugh, but immediately stopped when I saw that big ass rock on her finger. She noticed where my attention had gone and she tried to hid it, but it was too late.

“Rack- Cmon dont over react.” She spoke calmly

“Yall engaged!!!” I raised my voice.

She mumbled.  

“Olivia, I cant hear you!”

She sighed, “No, we’re married. We got married in secret and last I checked, one of my daddies was dead and the other was in New York.”

“YALL MARRIED!!!!!”

Angel

“So how have you been since we last talked?” My therapist asked,

I shrugged, I don’t want to be here. Mommy and Daddy are just wasting their money if we want to be completely honest.  

They thought it would be a good idea, since, they are in therapy that Mason and I should go to it as well. I guess they’re afraid we’ll be messed up like them.

She sighed, “How’s Dominique.”

I rolled my eyes. “You mean Andrea?”

“Why do you insist on calling her Andrea, when your family calls her Dominique? She is your sister”

Kicking my legs, I felt the tears coming when talking bout this topic,

“My baby brother that died, his name was Dominique. I refuse to call her that. Her name is Andrea, and she isn’t my sister.”

I hate talking about my feelings. Like why cant I just not like that baby, and it be the end of it? Everyone wants to make a big deal out of me not liking it. It’s not like i set her on fire or anything, I thought about it though. But Daddy and Mommy would send me where Katie was and I refuse.

“Can we not talk about her. Can we talk about anything else.”

“Sure. How would you feel if your parents got back together?”  

I shrugged, “Doesnt matter to me if they do or don’t.”

“If Andrea wasn’t involved?”

“I would be excited. I could live with my parents and my brother. They could have other kids and I would be fine. Like how I was when I was a baby.”

“But Andrea is involved, so how would you feel.”

“I said, I wouldn’t care. Either way. Long as they keep Andrea away from me. I’m fine.”

“Why do you not like your sister?”

I looked out the window, it was raining and I like rain. Especially when it’s hot. It fit my mood. Angry, but sad.

“I dont care for the baby. Not everyone likes babies, so why is it a big deal?”

I wanted to go play in the rain, the pitter patter sound it makes on the window, typically gives me joy. I like how at the end of each rainstorm there’s a rainbow.  

Colorful and calm, beautiful and bright, joyous and jolly.

Everything I’m not.

“Maybe it’s-“

I cut off the doctor, noticing the time was almost over. But I still looked out the big glass windows

“I’m like the rain, sad, and gloomy but at the end of the storm, its peace and a rainbow right? At the end of each rainstorm, its a rainbow, saying God’s promise that he wouldn’t ever remake the world, by flooding it. Showing that it gets better. It gets better right?”

As soon as I asked that, the question left in the air, because thankfully, our session was completely over.

Lizzie

Having a baby is exhausting. I love Zoey, I do. but chile. She is a handful. I mean he father helps but its been little by little. Especially since he got married to Eva.  

I dont have a problem with his wife, but it seems that she may have a problem with me. At first, Zoey and I were invited to the wedding. Then my invite was rescinded and Zoey could go, but they knew she wasn’t going without me, so she didn’t get to be apart of her father’s wedding. I mean that weekend she ended up getting really sick and they couldn’t go on their honeymoon so maybe it serves her right.

I tried to have multiple talks with her but she ended up just telling me that everything was fine. I don’t know, and I don’t have the energy to care. Long as she treats my daughter with respect, I could care less if she treated me any kind of way.

Many people have asked me if I have feelings for Zoey’s father, and the answer is no. We had a one night stand that turned into our daughter. Not feelings. I don’t want to date, because I don’t want the horrible experience that I had with Vincent ever again.

Yes, I do know that no one will ever do what he did. But it was traumatizing. I’m happy with Zoey and with the life I’m trying to build for her.

“Can you get out of your thoughts please Liz?”  Kam called out to me

We were having our weekly family dinner. This time, it so happened to be at my townhouse. Everyones kids were playing in the backyard. Zoey and Dominique were playing together in the playpen right by the kitchen. Girls in the kitchen and boys outside on the grill. Our traditions.

“Sorry. Lot of thinking.” I spoke.

“How are you though Lizzie?” Lei’Lani spoke up

I cleared my throat, “I’m okay, the doctor says that I need to keep with my medicine and exercising. Thank you all for helping me out with Zo”

“No problem, That’s what family is for” Rosie smiled.

I was diagnosed with Postpartum depression after have Zoey. I would randomly cry, I wouldn’t eat for weeks, somedays I couldn’t even hold my own daughter. That’s when Giselle and Liv recognized the signs as they had been through it as well, and we went to the doctor.

“I just want to be the best mom that I can be for my daughter, and I honestly feel like I’m loosing it all.”  

Gi came up and hugged me. “Listen, you know I got you no matter what. You are that best mom that you can be for your daughter.”

I smiled at the encouraging words that my sister gave to me.

~~~~

After the cookout, everyone left except Olivia and Giselle. Their kids and Dom and J went home to settle them and put them to bed while Liv and Gi stayed to help put down Zo and clean up my house.

“So, does Jaxon and Eva help around with Zoey?” Liv asked

“Not really, it’s all me. Basically.” I sighed

“Do you have an agreement with a mediator about the living conditions of Zoey as she grows older? Liv asked again

I sighed, “No, do you think I need one?”

“We aren’t trying to pressure you into anything Liz, but its obvious that you need help and Jax is her father and Eva is her step mother, they need to help no matter what.” Gi spoke concerned

I mean she was right, we all did need to sit down and go over everything for Zoey’s life because I cant continue to ask and not get a response. I want to get back to normal, and they need to pitch in.

“How are y’all? We’ve all been really busy these last few months.”

They both ended up shrugging,

“It’s been a journey since I got shot by Katie, I still have migraines, but I love being with Jeremiah and the kids, the court case is coming up and i have no idea which way it’s going to go. I want it to go our way, but if it doesn’t, Aiden is still my son.” Liv smiled

“You know I’m praying for you, I hope it goes our way, and that bitch can get out of our life forever.” i spoke.

“Amen, but speaking of bitches, how’s Katie?” Liv snickered.

“Annoying as hell, everything Dom wants for Nique, Katie just declines, and wont allow but then as soon as we involve her mother, she acts like its the greatest idea ever. I wish this bitch would be out of our lives forever.” Gi spoke with disdain.

“Would you adopt Dominique, Gi?” Liv asked.

“I mean, technically, Katie has no rights being that she’s in jail. The papers for her adoption are already drawn up for me. I just have to sign them.”

“So what’s holding you up?” I asked

“I want to make sure Dominic and I are square and good. I don’t want to adopt her and then we end up getting divorced and now we have to split three kids. I just want to make sure our foundation is solid you know?”

“I think you’re pretty good on solid ground, you haven’t left since moving back in.” I said

“I know, but we aren’t perfect, and we have a lot to talk about. But-“

Liv cut her off, irritated,

“Youre wasting precious time and you are making excuses. Do you or do you not still love Dom.”

“I do.” She said confidently

“Are you falling back in love with him?” I asked

She blushed, “I am.”

“So what’s the hold up?” I asked with Liv agreeing

“I’m waiting for the ball to drop. I’m waiting for something bad to happen.” She spoke

Both Liv and I looked confused because they’re good, so whats the matter.

“Look, daddy kept us apart, then vincent, then katie. I just I don’t think I could take it if he was taken from me again. I just i’m taking it slow because I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I don’t want anything bad to happen.” She rambled on.

“You can’t wait anymore Gi, we all know life is too short, You have to go for your happiness, you aren’t the broken-hearted girl anymore. You’re a grown ass woman with 3 kids and a man who loves her unconditionally.” Liv encouraged her.

“I know. But-“

“But nothing. You love Dom and he loves you. Stop being a pussy.” I laughed.

“Fine I wont but I need you to also stop being a pussy and stand up to Jaxon. You didn’t create Zo-zo by yourself.Okay?” She reassured me.

I nodded, I love my cousin and my sister. Without them, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, they’re literally my best friends and I know I’m the same for them. Listening to all that we’ve been through and how messed up we used to be, we’ve overcame so much. We’ve definitely grown into the women that my momma raised and she would be so proud of us.

[void-tiger]

...screw it. I’ll *maybe* write an AU that’s from the point Takashi first crash lands back to Earth.

You know, one that has him having a twin and a preKerb friendgroup made up of Ryou, Lisa, Matt, Veronica, and Ginger (in my fanon she’s Hunk’s sister)? You know...Shiro actually having family and friends that then includes the Paladins? (Oh...and people actually at his launch other than Keith and the Holts. Well, the ones who weren’t currently deployed on their own missions at that time.)

Lots of rambling and thought-dumping as to how that might look plot-wise in a broader sense under the cut (along with other fixits)

Veronica’s seen ribbing her younger brother but also trying to cheer him and his assigned team back up before carrying on with her Garrison Job.

The Trio still sneaks out and runs into Keith causing not-well-thought-out shenanigans beyond a successful diversion.

The Trio+Keith run headlong into Ryou, Lisa, Veronica, and Ginger who had the exact same idea as their younger siblings/the idiot (former) cadet. They ARE Shiro’s friends, afterall. Only, they’re the “scientists” and stick Iverson and the REAL scientists with the sedatives instead of Shiro. (They also made more of an effort to keep an eye on Keith than Adam ever did. They’re also well-aware that Pidge is actually Katie and keep an eye on her, too, but decided not to push her about the shoddy disguise. They *might* be covering for her regarding Iverson&Co, though.)

(Also, the Shack belonged to Ryou and Shiro. But Keith’s staying there, too. Ryou’s not happy about Keith trying to bust Shiro out without him.)

After the initial confusion, the Actual Adults (barely!) TM take over and have everyone pile into their cars while they try to shake off the Garrison and eventually regroup back at the Shack. (Keith’s driving Shiro’s old bike back since he’s the one who took it out. Shiro’s placed in the back of Ryou’s car with the seats laid flat. Ryou’s back there trying to keep him restrained until they can do triage, with Lisa taking over as the driver. Everyone else is with Veronica and Ginger. Or, they all took a ScoobyDoo van from the start vs several cars.)

Shiro actually recognizes the entire Trio, but introduces himself, anyway. (He’s a pilot, not an engineer or analyst. And although Veronica and Ginger bragged about their baby brothers and Matt about his genius gremlin sister, and Ryou definitely bragged about Hunk’s progress, it just didn’t quite work out for him to meet the cadets personally, save maybe Pidge—PR, aviation instruction, and Kerberos prep kinda ate away at his time. He did keep an eye on Lance’s progress, but...any remnants of time kinda went to Adam before the breakup and mentoring Keith. (Ryou kinda just insisted on crashing in Shiro’s post-breakup issued room until the twins finally pooled their resources to buy the Shack.))

The hunt for the Blue Lion goes about the same, only the group’s larger. Blue still picks Lance, kidnaps everyone else like a box of kittens, and goes for a joyride before getting serious. (“YEP. That’s definitely your Lion, Lance,” Veronica snarks.) The same Paladins experience the Vision as before, with the others giving them strange looks when they all randomly zonked out in tandem for half a second.

They eventually end up in Arus’s solar system. (The adults are very, very glad that they didn’t ever have time for pets. (And in this version, Ginger isn’t already a mother, and the Adults are all about 23-26, give or take.) Then internally freaking out about kidnapping a bunch of kids by accident, and kicking themselves about not having any sort of letters ready for everyone’s family. That...could’ve been thought out better (and moves to the top of their priority list. Galaxies away or not, mean purple aliens kinda implies they’ll be gone for awhile. With...a bunch of kids.)

They wake up Allura, but Ryou’s the one to catch her. Veronica twists Lance’s ear before he ever opens her mouth. (“Yeah yeah I know. She’s gorgeous. But not the time.”) (RIP, Lance’s ears...they’re not safe in any reality.) Allura and Coran pull up their starcharts...and discover the same, awful news. The adults herd everybody out to give the Alteans some space to grieve in private.

Allura starts to describe the Lions, but the group interrupts her. (“Uh...we kinda saw a big giant robot in our heads?” “Yeah, and it was freaky watching them all look like zombies for half a second, so hard pass.”) The rest of it goes on as usual, only Lance gets whacked for self-postulating, and Blue actually gets a description this time.

The soon-to-be Paladins split up to look for their Lions, with Keith still at the Castle. Ryou and Ginger set to work helping Coran get the Castle operational again, while Lisa and Veronica take on the task of helping Allura sift through 10,000 years of data backlogged.

-

Obviously certain events like Sendak capturing the Castle and Crystal Venom would play out somewhat differently. For one, neither Ryou or Lisa would leave Shiro alone. And at least one of them would probably stand with Coran about the ethics about all of it, even if they reluctantly agree that it’s the best option they have.

As far as Shiro’s disappearance, they catch on a LOT sooner that Black’s damaged and actually curling protectively around Shiro. (You know. Like Toothless and Hiccup. Just sayin’.) (As well as an explanation as to why Shiro ended up stored within BlackLion during the fight to protect him, while the other Paladins were not by their own Lions.)

Jiro still shows up thinking he’s Shiro, but has the others gently inform him that no, no he’s not. (Shiro may or may not be already out of BlackLion and recovering.) Jiro consents to having extensive tests done. They find all of Haggar’s implants (and discover that Shiro actually got stuck with a few of his own that Black separated from him when they extracted him out...now that they know what they’re looking at. Oh, and the Blacktashi Bond’s still well and good, but Shiro does have more trauma to work through. At best Shiro’s unconscious the entire time he was stored as energy particle. At worst? Sensory deprivation and FullBody Amputation. Nothing about Shiro being suspended in the Void could’ve been pleasant, even though Black was well-intentioned.) Once free from her control, Jiro’s more determined than ever to take her and the Galra empire down. (As well as freeing the other clones. The others share that sentiment, but especially the Shirogane Twin, who decide to accept Jiro as their “triplet from another mother”.)

Jiro still longs to be a Paladin, though. Allura and Lisa gradually over time begin to share that same longing. Eventually they feel a sort of phantom bond that mimics the one Jiro has with Black not just with the OG Lions, but also an even stronger one they can’t quite pinpoint. They eventually learn that they’re being Called by the second meteor.

Lotor’s still a rival right about the same time. However, by the time he tricks the Paladins into going after the meteor for him, the Castle’s a better match for his ship vs him getting away. (Because, you know. The OG Paladins are still with their Lions. And although Allura went with them to explore the distress call, Coran had Jiro&Co to help him man the Castle.) They fight to a standstill, then eventually call a ceasefire. They’re better about uncovering WHY Lotor wants the meteor/quintessence. Also the surviving Alteans are members of his crew, albeit still disguised to protect them from the Empire. They evacuate the colony vs sticking around. Lotor wants the quintessence first to end balmera mining and komar stripping, but also to have a second attempt at making the colony work.

Allura and Coran are shocked to learn that they’re not the last of their race, but eventually Lotor agrees to carefully continue checking Honerva’s research with Team Voltron&Co before deciding what to do with the comet, and if Lotor’s idea for “unlimited quintessence” is even possible...which eventually leads them to Orionde. (*drops better explanation about that pocket dimension HERE*) Also, the other Paladins probably make it through with both Allura and Lotor in-tow once they stop fighting the Lion and instead evade or request permission to enter (hey, it’d be a nice callback to A Bond Cannot Be Forced), but only Allura and Lotor make it all the way to the end.

When Allura and Lotor rejoin the Paladins and the rest of their crews, Lotor agrees to abandon his attempts to reopen the Quintessence Rift on the remains of Daibazaal--at best Haggar could then seize it and do unspeakable damage. At worst, all of Reality folds in on itself and collapses. There are no shortcuts.

Team Voltron press to know why the Galra covet so much quintessence in the first place:if it’s just to power their technology, then surely it’s past time to discover other means of energy. Lotor reluctantly reveals that the Galra are essentially extinct: what started as a way to extend their lifespans gradually mutated them overtime into no longer being genetically compatible with other members of their own race. They either continue taking the quintessence, or die off. Team Voltron then questions if Lotor and his Generals have that same problem--turns out, yes and no. The Galra are somehow still able to reproduce with other races (which he, Keith, and the generals are the proof of), but there are often complications with those pregnancies. In addition, Lotor and his generals spent enough of their early lives eating quintessence-enriched foods to have developed that same addiction they’re still struggling to ween themselves off of, if it’s even possible at all. 

Jiro then casually waves as proof that the Galra have successful cloning...so why not just genetically engineer the next generation to NOT have quintessence dependencies and whatever other genetic mutations that are dooming the Galra. Lotor stares at the clone dumbfounded--he hadn’t even considered that. (Aka, sometimes you need a fresh set of eyes to find plausible solutions to problems.) (*cue Save the Galra subplot mixed in around Typical Campy and Main Plot Adventures*)

The meteor is also used to create three new Lions, who immediately Bond with Allura, Jiro, and Lisa.

(For continuity’s sake? Let’s just say Lotor was never declared Emperor Pro-Tem, but always remained exiled/an outlaw.)

(*campy episodes*)

Pidge and Shiro finally find Matt. However, Matt now needs a brace for the leg Shiro injured while posing as “preChampion” to be able to support him. Shiro’s extremely guilt-ridden over it, but Matt assures him that ultimately it did save his life, and instead of having him transferred to a mining penal colony, he actually got transferred as a researcher after fixing the transport. After that, he bid his time for a chance to escape...which he eventually did when his scheme serendipitously coincided with a rebel attack. Unfortunately, Sam didn’t survive, Matt learned post-escape. The stress killed him well before his transport ever took him to a penal colony.

Voltron’s allies continue to grow. However, Zarkon finally recovers right about the time the Blades discover a quintessence supply chain of a new kind of quintessence...which eventually leads to the discovery of SEVERAL cloning fascilities where BlackPaladin Grade Quintessence is being harvested from hundreds of thousands of Shirogane Clones. Takashi, Ryou, and Jiro are all understandably outraged and physically sick at the revelation. Jiro also questions if his quintessence mimicking Shiro’s is the only reason why the BlackLion saved him at all [despite knowing where/having back her Paladin.] Shiro and Ryou try to reassure Jiro that that can’t be the reason/that he has his own value/etc, but Jiro’s unable to quite believe them.

The clones are finally freed (*cue tense battle here*), and like Jiro, many of them are pissed and choose to join the Rebels’ Ranks in various fields as both payback and a genuine desire to help and explore.

(*cue MORE SciFi Camp and Diplomacy etc*)

Eventually there’s another showdown with Zarkon, Haggar, and Company, spanning either into one massive battle or several smaller ones happening at once. Zarkon’s more powerful than ever thanks to the stolen Shirogane Quintessence Haggar used to revive him (that he continued to nom on up until the clones were rescued, although he still had his stockpile to ration)...but his attempts to seize the BlackLion/bust apart Voltron that way fail spectacularly. The Bond cannot be forced, and blacktashi healed eachother. 

Zarkon then summons his anti-voltron made from finally successful robeasts with living pilots. (it’s...a work in progress. as in, how does Sendak fit in, or prolly instead Sendak’s Clone, etc etc. But ultimately some of the previous antagonists return, after they got much more backstory etc in Campy TM stuff) (*cue mech battle*)

Allura finally has her match against Haggar and wins.

(Lotor&Co have their own role, but idk what)

At last...Zarkon and Haggar are defeated, with the bulk of their forces either killed, in custody, or on the run.

-

Lotor fights his way to the top of the Kral Zera to light his flame. However, his rule and insistence on change isn’t popular with the bulk of the remaining empire after 10,000 years under Zarkon. The remnants of Zarkon’s forces also try to cause trouble. There’s also tension with Voltron and the former Rebel Coalition as the universe attempts to rebuild their societies after being subjugated for so long. 

The surviving Alteans also long for their own planet and begin to rebuild their culture now that the Galran threat is finally gone, but they’re still vulnerable.

(Earth’s solar system also may or may not have been destroyed near the end of the 10,000 year war, with the surviving humans mainly being the former Galaxy Garrison, so they’re looking for their own planet/system, too.)

(*cue MORE Save the Galra...and The Galra Have Entered The Planet Race!*)

So, you know. Basically an adaptation of Vehicle Voltron as a “post game”.

-

Aaand, yet more smatterings of SciFi Camp as they rebuild/are Really Really finally at peace, and they finally just get to explore and experience the sort of Paladinship their predecessors did before Zarkon dragged everyone into the 10,000 year war. Because exploration/campy vld stories are always fun. 

[nihahiru-blog]

Mexico Tourist Land Visa Reviews & Tips

https://ja.ivisa.com/mexico-tourist-land-visa

Among the exciting things about Sri Lank travel is how simple it genuinely is.  Also, you need to consider interim transfers that get you in location outside your country but in a country apart from the United States.  It's the very first women-only travel app which lets you connect with other solo females that are visiting the exact same destination and share the very same interests.

People driving across the border aren't currently affected with these changes. The weather is very good throughout the entire year (it's rainy in the wet period, otherwise the weather is extremely pleasant), and therefore you don't need to worry that you won't have an opportunity to delight in sunshine.  A perfect fun destination for kids, Legoland Malaysia has an incredible collection of entertainment like the Minilandwhich supplies a miniature version of Asia's popular landmarks made of Legos.

You will discover that societies, generally speaking, are really welcoming.  There's no doubt which you wouldn't forget a trip to Disneyland if you're on a family holiday to Orlando, Anaheim, Paris, Hong Kong or Japan.  Having fun is going to take a backseat.

Mexico Tourist Land Visa for Dummies If you wait another couple of years, a lot of the above will be obsolete.  Ok, it was not quite as easy as that, but you have the picture.  You never know whether you may return in those 180 days.

Lots of people don't understand what things to do with LinkedIn.  Know in advance how you are going to be receiving around.  Ensure you ask for the whole 180 days even is you intend to stay only a quick time.

The price of Visa is varied based on the nation of the traveller.  It's also advisable to check to be sure your passport is in good shape and has blank visa pages.  Find which visa from above that you believe is the most beneficial for your circumstances.  A multiple entry visa permits a visitor to come and go from Canada for six months at a moment, without needing to reapply each moment.

The procedure is a bit different because you'll complete all your paperwork at the podiums and you're going to pay there.  You can do the whole procedure over the Internet at the moment.  If time becomes away from you or can't travel to the closest consulate, there are always multiple carrier services prepared to take your passport and visit the nation's embassy for you as a way to get the visa.  To acquire an approval the PRO will visit the immigration and clear your preceding residence visa.

Life After Mexico Tourist Land Visa Lots of people fear visiting dentist only because they have this myth that it's a painful procedure more than anything else to resolve a tooth issue.  Also, you are going to comprehend the culture in the specific area as there are numerous differences throughout Mexico.  With the capacity to sell homes, Cubans have more reason to fix their homes for the interest of property value.

Parts of earth that may be famous for certain weather conditions can actually have a considerable quantity of variation over the span of the year.  Your best option is to take care of all this at the border.  It resembles a giant crater full of water.

The one thing left after that it to delight in your journey.  You may decide to do it another manner. Some peace and quiet can be difficult to come by unless you go specifically searching for it.

| To begin with check government advisories to find out whether there are any big security concerns in the region you're traveling to.  First and foremost always take note of travel scams.  During your preliminary adoption procedure, you're need to figure out if the country you're adopting from will require you to have a visa to enter.  It is possible to pay with either a charge card or cash but bear in mind in case you do not return upon the border by the close of the permit issuance then your money is going to be forfeited.

Applicants with the exact same name, birth date and etc. is going to be delayed in getting approval or may be rejected.  Reporting procedures vary based on your house country.  Please note that he or she will need to have a valid passport issued by his home country in order to get the visa!  If you've got an interest in starting one of these forms of business entities, please get in touch with us for more info. You're permitted to participate in off-site employment with organizations which are educationally affiliated with the school.  You'll eventually require a working visa later, but it is going to offer you time to demonstrate your employer which you are worth a sponsorship (see point 3).

Using Mexico Tourist Land Visa Having Credit Cards is an extra advantage.  Rose and I, for example, took a lovely bus visit to Belize.  You will be happy you have it.

The Fight Against Mexico Tourist Land Visa Before travelling to South America it is advisable that you go to a medical professional to see which vaccinations are required for a certain nation.  You will get a receipt.  You are also going to be asked to buy a bond.

It turned out to be a scary trip, and not only because Luis was nervous regarding the immigration practice.  I'd suggest that you shoot for the 8pm ferry also.  It does not require you to have travel insurance like some other countries.

People driving across the border aren't currently affected with these changes. THE RUB regardless of the outward evidence of Castro-love, everyone is really negative in regards to the government.  A perfect fun destination for kids, Legoland Malaysia has an incredible collection of entertainment like the Minilandwhich supplies a miniature version of Asia's popular landmarks made of Legos.

Mexico Tourist Land Visa and Mexico Tourist Land Visa - The Perfect Combination They're a few of the kindest and most diplomatic people on Earth.  Don't get me wrong, I believe it's wonderful that all these individuals are seizing the chance to find this large beautiful world.  Thus, they'd not have any need to create any fortifications along the northern line.

Learn as much about the region you're planning to visit as possible.  It is simple to receive an abundance of information on the internet so before traveling to another place do a bit of research.  Please note our company isn't accountable for any traveller having medical issues.

It could sound a bit like a cop out, but nevertheless, it would not be possible to select one favorite experience since they are all memorable for different factors.  Another method is to walk across.  Some peace and quiet can be difficult to come by unless you go specifically searching for it.

Mexico Tourist Land Visa for Dummies If you wait another couple of years, a lot of the above will be obsolete.  Companies can't hire employees just depending on the profile they want.  It's possible to travel a day or two or spend months discovering South America.

Trust me it will be a lot easier getting temporarily documents this manner.  Know in advance how you are going to be receiving around.  Ensure you ask for the whole 180 days even is you intend to stay only a quick time.

| Half of the nation will claim they wish to move, and this moment, many actually will.  Ok, it was not quite as easy as that, but you have the picture.  You never know whether you may return in those 180 days.

Lots of people don't understand what things to do with LinkedIn.  Know in advance how you are going to be receiving around.  Ensure you ask for the whole 180 days even is you intend to stay only a quick time.

The Tried and True Method for Mexico Tourist Land Visa in Step by Step Detail Passport holders from Asean member countries do not need a visa to go to Cambodia.  It's also advisable to check to be sure your passport is in good shape and has blank visa pages.  The visas are extendable based on their various categories.  Regular Visa Let us find out concerning the initial four kinds of visa.

In case the automobile is in the name of a corporation, the corporation must supply the title of ownership and proof which you're an employee. You can do the whole procedure over the Internet at the moment.  Download this mobile app prior to going.   Further to all the plans that's been made over the telephone, this is an official invitation for your visa application!

Mexico Tourist Land Visa Help! There is reallyn't anywhere you are going to want to get off outside of old Havana.  It was constructed to keep Mexicans out of the United States.  So you will need to buy a second one to return.

[adeleymccormick1990-blog]

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[humanrebel]

Serpents and Lions Ch. 1

Fandom: My Hero Academia Characters: Ochako Uraraka, Katsuki Bakugou, Class 1-A Relationship: Bakugou/Uraraka, Slow Burn Summary: Once upon a time, a King was betrayed. Once upon a time, a Queen ad her husband were slain. Once upon a time, a Princess found her parents' corpses, still warm with life, and ran. She ran away, so fast and so far, nothing could catch her. Nothing except a dream.

A/N: This is going to be bigger than I think i can handle

2K // AO3 // FFN // Next

~

She met him for the first time when she was six, out on a boat in the ocean.

"You have fluffy hair," she said, "and shiny eyes."

"I know," he replied, puffing up with pride. "Bright as fire coral, my ma always says."

"I would say garnets, but they're so dark, and your eyes are bright; and I don't want to say 'ruby eyes' because it sounds like something from one of my mommy's grown-up books." Ochako scrunched her face. "I don't like those books."

The boy scoffs. "How would you know what rubies look like? They're very rare."

"Oh that's easy! Mommy and Daddy teach me when I cry, so I know about lots of gemstones! We even wear them!" She dug underneath the neck her tunic and pulled off the amulet she always wore. It was a pretty, shiny thing, with a long and wide ribbon, meant to be worn by someone much older than she was now, but she would grow into it. Her family crest was in the center, surrounded by jewels and gems of all sorts. She pointed to one of the stones laid near the top. "That one's the ruby, and here's a garnet."

The boy tilted his head. "Looks fancy. Usually I only find something like that at the bottom of the sea."

Ochako tilted her head. "Really? At the bottom?" The boy nodded, puffing his chest out even more, a very self-satisfied smile on his face. "How do you hold your breath that long?"

"What? I don't. I just breathe, like everyone else I know."

"I don't breathe underwater."

"'Course not. You're human."

Crossing her arms, Ochako pouted. "And what are you that makes you so special?"

The boy grinned, his face splitting wide open, and he slipped under the water. Ochako worried for a second, but then he jumped into the air, startling the life out of her and the amulet out of her hand. He was too fast for whatever he tried to show off, too. She only caught a glimpse of red before he fell beneath the water again.

He came up, eyes sparkling. "Did you see?" he asked excitedly. "Pretty, huh?"

"No I did not!" Ochako yelled, palm to her chest, eyes scanning the water. "You made me drop the my necklace!"

"Oh, I can find it!" the boy said, and he disappeared beneath the waves again.

Ochako wanted to stay, to collect her lost heirloom, and she stayed for as long as she could. Which turned out to be not a very long time at all, since her nanny found her mere moments later and dragged her back to her home.

No one ever believed Ochako about the boy. They said no one could get in without the guards knowing. They had such a private beach, her parents said, and the gate that cut through the water stopped even small children from swimming through. That didn't stop her from returning every day for the next two months, trying to find proof of his existence.

Proof she never found, except for her missing amulet.

The more she reflected on it, though, the more she herself began to doubt it. She always set thoughts of the boy to the back of her mind when it frustrated her, and instead focused on her studies. It wasn't long before he was a mere wisp of a memory, a dream she decided she had confused for reality, and her amulet lost due to her own clumsiness.

She worked hard from that day forward, ready to follow in her parents' footsteps.

Ochako runs, her feet bare and bleeding. Her eyes sting, her entire face stings in the cold. Her breath whips by her in white clouds. Her only comfort in the winter night is the coat she wears, though it does little to keep her warm. It still comforts her, though, and she'll treasure it for the rest of her life.

The coat belonged to her father, after all, and it was the only thing she recovered that wasn't soaked in his blood.

The memories rise up again, bringing with them bile that she swallows back down. She has no time to spit it up, no time to stop and rest, no time to even think beyond escape. Hooves thunder along the path behind her, and she has to reach the beach soon—all other exits are guarded, and there are boats out there, boats that can carry her to safety and away from…

From home. She almost turns back, almost faces her pursuers, but the glint of steel in the dark of night unnerves her, scares her to her core, so she keeps running.

Her feet barely meet the sand when she reaches the beach, but then they catch up to her. The horses surround her, masked riders staring down from their steeds. The ringleader moves forward, hopping from his horse to approach her on even ground. He stands between her and the water, and her eyes glance behind him longingly.

"Come now, Princess," the man says in a voice sweet as honey. He removes his mask, and she sucks in a startled breath when she sees his face. It was one she last saw years ago, after all–the face of a dead man.

Standing before her, holding an enemy nation's mask, with freshly healed scars cutting across his cheeks, her uncle stares her down. General Shin of the Hysa kingdom's army, thought to have fallen in battle two years ago, stands before her. His face is stretched into a mockery of its former charming smile, and he extends a hand to her, his voice soothing.

"There is much to discuss," he says, "and I know you must be tired. But it can wait for the morning. Surely you want to return to your bed and sleep?"

She's tired, of course. Who wouldn't be after the death (murder, she corrects herself) of their parents and a run for their life? All she wants to do is cry, to mourn, to curl into a ball and disappear to where her parents are now. The pull is so strong, so incredibly powerful she begins to do so–her arms fold around herself, clawing at her own shoulders to keep herself together, and her knees tremble under the weight of her and her grief. Her eyes well with tears, and she lets one fall–a diamond droplet that lands among the sand at her feet.

But then she hears it–a soft song that shakes her hunched form. It's hauntingly beautiful, a melody that wraps around her mind, a lullaby that soothes her aching heart, and under its guidance she stands tall and glares.

Shin frowns, unaffected by the phantom voice that gives her strength. And of course he wouldn't hear it; it's a Gift–the very last her parents will ever give her. Only Ochako can hear it.

"Fine." Shin pulls a knife from his hip and throws it to the ground in front of her. "I'm an honorable man. I'll let you fight, and if you survive, you're free to go." His voice lightens.

"Let it be known that I'm giving you a chance, Princess. I will give you what freedom I can if you come willingly. But should you choose to fight and lose, you will be nothing more than a prisoner." His eyes are bright enough to burn straight through her, now. He extends his hand.

"The choice is yours. Come with me, and live as lavishly as before, or…" he nods toward the knife, "take the blade, Princess, and prove whether your will is strong enough."

She knows better, though. The freedom Shin offered wouldn't really be free. It would come with feather-light chains and invisible fences. She would be no better than a flower in a greenhouse, some… thing to be marveled at out of place, out of season.

Ochako kneels, her eyes never leaving his. Her fingers grasp the cool leather of the grip. She takes a deep breath, and with a hand clutched to her chest, she stands again.

Shin drops his hand when he drops his smile, and a sneer tugs at his lips. "You won't budge, then?" he asks her, and hiding amongst his words lies a promise of pain.

Still, she only glares, drawing her lip into a tight line.

Shin waves his hand, some military signal she doesn't know. The men on horseback ride in circles around her, and she hears the sound of blades being pulled from scabbards. Shin mounts his horse again and steps back, calling orders to his guards.

They want her alive, that much is clear.

She refuses to let that happen.

But that means her only other option is death. The entire ocean is before her, the sounds of waves a constant background noise. Drowning is a scary, painful way to go, she knows. It would be so hard to stay down until her breath ran out, and even then Shin could just send his men after her. But she knows they won't follow.

It's damn near the dead of winter. The water is cold enough to kill.

She steels herself, her mind made up. The knife weighs heavy in her hand, and as the horses circle her, she sees a path amidst the cackling men and the dancing blades. She sucks in one last breath, and then she runs, her teeth bared and fists tight.

The snow and the sand make for poor footing, and she slips more than once. But she doesn't fall, doesn't allow herself to fall.

When she reaches the line of men, she hits the ground and slides. She lashes out with the knife, slashing at the ankles of the horses, and rolls back on her feet before they can fall. It hurts her, of course, when she hears the snap of broken bones, to have harmed the horses in such a cruel way, sure they'd be killed later because of her. It was never their fault, they weren't in control of their actions, but she had no other choice.

She can only offer a silent apology as she runs. She's sure to beat them to the afterlife, after all.

Her breath whips past her once again, sliding from rosy lips and over winter-red cheeks. Her feet sting in the way that comes with cold, where nerves are more sensitive and tingles run along her legs.

Her uncle shouts orders to his men, but she ignores it. She focuses on the world before her, the chaos behind her mere background noise for the last few moments of her life. The sand beneath her changes abruptly to the wooden planks of the boat dock, and she can't tell if it's her weight making the boards creak or if she's hearing bowstrings being drawn.

It's an all-out sprint to the finish, to reach the water before they can reach her. Her legs and her lungs burn, and fire blooms across her back, but adrenaline tells her to ignore the pain, to run for her life, no matter how soon it may end.

Before she realizes it, she's airborne, her nightgown billowing in the wind, her father's jacket flaring like a cape behind her. Her eyes widen as the water rushes towards her, and she takes an involuntary breath to hold, as though her body has hopes of survival separate from her mind.

It was a futile hope, of course. The thin ice cracks beneath her heels, and the cold water engulfs her, shocking the air from her lungs in a woosh of bubbles. It's through some miracle that she even has the tiniest bit left at the very bottom of her lungs.

She floats for a moment, suspended by cold numbness. Then like magic, her clothes absorb water and sink, dragging her into the darkness below. She shuts her eyes, hoping to pass out before she feels any more pain.

[kevinriley90]

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[transdonaldduck]

The Witness (1/1(?))

Fandom: Darkwing Duck (focus on an OC) Pairings: Gen Characters: Wade Whittaker (OC-centric), Fearsome Five, Darkwing Duck, Gosalyn Mallard, Launchpad McQuack Summary: Wade Whittaker, an insomniac, is at the wrong place at the wrong time and ends up being chased by some of the most ferocious villains in St. Canard.

Wade Whittaker liked to think of himself as a work in progress. The rest of his family, however, like to think of him as ‘unemployed’ or ‘a deadbeat’ but Wade tended to ignore calls from his mom so he really didn’t get that as much anymore. He made enough picking up odd jobs to live in an old rundown apartment off of Charleston street, a stone’s throw away from the cemetery and a fifteen minute walk from the nearest Hamburger Hippo. The walls were a little discolored and the heater often broke intermittently during the winter but it was home, and Wade found that the landlord was a bit more lenient on rent deadlines when he could afford to be.

The reason he often lost jobs was because of his clumsiness, and his rampant and untamable insomnia that left him wide awake at night but uselessly exhausted during the day. He’d picked up night jobs before (he tended to, well, Not excell per say, but do marginally okay) like groundskeeping at the cemetery or working the cash register at 24 hour convenience store. He’d managed to work the convenience store for almost a year before his boss had cut hours to save money- making him half time instead of full time and costing him half his paycheck.

Having worked nightly for a year, coupled with his chronic insomnia- well, it meant it was 2 am and Wade was awake and restless. He often shrugged on his hoodie, grabbed his glasses, and took a leisurely stroll around town. Though recently Wade had been… unable to leave his apartment. Not in the sense that he was trapped, but in the sense that he was cornered.

“Wade, Wade, Wade,” He groaned, flopping back on his squeaky mattress and staring blearily up at the ceiling, “How do you get yourself into these situations?”

The situation being the fact that Negaduck, St. Canards number one bad guy, had it out for him personally. You see, his insomnia often drove him out at random, unlucky times of the night. He’d seen a lot of things in his time in the city- including walking in on crimes in progress. He’d barely managed to stay under the radar for this long thanks to the terror that flaps in the night, who usually managed to command all the villains attention leaving Wade time to escape the way he’d come and live to walk in on another crime the next night. Recently, however, he’d been the unwitting witness to the fearsome fives most recent meeting- one where they discussed plans for their upcoming nefarious plot.

They’d broken into Adam’s Jewelers on First Street. Wade knew Stacy, the owner. They’d gone to college together until he had dropped out in sophomore year, but she was still a good… acquaintance? And he sometimes dropped in to catch up. He’d been on another late night walk when he passed her shop, only stopping because the lights were on. He knew she usually closed early, but figured she might have extended store hours to work on the upcoming shipment of precious stones she had told him about last time they spoke. Deciding to offer a hello and an offer to grab her some coffee, Wade had ducked in the unlocked door and walked inside.

He’d made his way behind the counter, intending on opening the back door and peeking inside when the door opened and Negaduck himself stepped out. He had a sack thrown over his shoulder and he was walking backward, facing the rest of the villains in his squad and talking to them.

“Our next move is to isolate him from his sidekick, it won’t be hard if he thinks it’s a routine bank robbery.” He explains, and Wade wishes he had the superpower to turn invisible because that would be extremely helpful at this point- but the other four have already taken notice of him, and it’s looked like he was about to be toast.

Negaduck, having noticed his lackeys eyes looking past him, spun around to face whoever they were looking at. Wade was sure he didn’t look intimidating other than being about half a foot taller than Nega. He was currently shaking like a leaf and inching towards the exit.

“How much did you hear?” Was the first thing out of the supervillains mouth, eyes narrowing to slits before he shook his head, “It doesn’t matter, I’ll kill you anyway.” He turned his head to the side, “Fearsome Five- get him.”

Megavolt, the one directly behind him, is the first one to step forward. An arc of electricity trails after his hand as he raises it, and with a simple flick of his wrist lightning explodes out of his palm and Wade decides that getting fried by raw electricity is maybe not on the top of his to do list. He throws himself sideways over the counter, catching his hip hard on the glass case but skillfully avoiding the death ray. He doesn’t manage to catch his balance quick enough to land on his feet but does transition it into a tight roll. He takes a moment to catch his breath as the electricity strikes the cash register he had been standing in front of and turned it into a ball of flame and metal shrapnel.

About two years ago when Parkour had been at it’s height, Wade had attempted to get into the sport. He’d gone to a few of the free classes some passionate free-runner named Leaf had hosted at the park, but after the third meeting where he scraped his knee and cried for fifteen minutes he hadn’t made another appearance- tho he appreciates what little he did know, as the fall could have been much worse if not for how he’d learned to recover from it.

The explosion triggered the store alarms to go off, and the Fearsome Five seemed to panic- They scattered, but Negaduck rounded the edge of the counter after Wade, not intending to let him go with what important information he had eavesdropped on. Wade scrambled to his feet, running out the door and taking a hard left. Never in his entire life would he have ever imagined that he would be personally pursued by a supervillain, and he was almost tempted to stop and pinch himself to see if he were just dreaming- but he wasn’t, the aching pain in his hip was enough proof of that, so he kept moving.

One pro to restlessly prowling the streets was that you learned a few things, tips and tricks, and which alleyways led where- So wade began cutting around bends, climbing up and over trashcans, sliding through holes in fences, and taking shortcuts between cars to put as much distance between him and his pursuer. He kept up this random and confusing trail until he reached his apartment building, reasonably sure he’d lost him, and darting up to his apartment, slamming and locking the door behind him.

It was only then, in the safety of his dark apartment that he’d relaxed enough to start feeling his injuries he’d gotten while on the run. He didn’t dare flip on his livingroom light, too afraid his window would give away his location, and popped into his bathroom to clean up. Where he’d caught his hip at the jewelry store, a huge bruise was starting to form. He’s fallen several times, scraping his hands and knees up on asphalt and concrete. His nerves were on high alert and the pain seemed distant even now, he felt fine. Well, as fine as one could be after unwittingly stumbling upon five dangerous criminals and now, subsequently, being on their hitlist.

That had been two days ago, and Wade hadn’t left his apartment since. He couldn’t risk getting caught by any of those after him. He was a nervous wreck, any groan of the pipes or creak of the old building made him jump out of his skin. He was constantly on high vigilance, and it was taking a toll. He’d just been an insomniac before, now he could add anxious and paranoid to that mix. He hadn’t been able to sleep a wink.

He watches the sun rise on another sleepless night. The curtains are only open a crack, and a thin stripe of sunlight cuts across his dingy carpet. He needed to get help. It was an option he’d considered, but at first he wasn’t sure how he’d find Darkwing Duck at night faster than the Fearsome Five would find him, but maybe he didn’t need to find Darkwing Duck…

He stands up, pulls his long hair back into a semi-respectable bun, and grabs his keys. Daytime didn’t mean he was safe, but if he stuck to the more well-populated streets and kept his head down he hopefully wouldn’t attract too much attention. This would be a long trip, he lived in the heart of the city, but it would be worth it for some help.

He’d run into quite a few characters on his trek, but the last door he’d knocked on had actually been of some help. Herb Muddlefoot and his wife Binkie were… an experience, to say the least. Not bad per say, but certainly overwhelming, and willing to share happily with a complete stranger. They’d basically dragged him inside for pie and a chat, talking about their two young sons and their neighborhood. They’d made him take a slice “for the road” despite his destination being a the house next door.

It was a quaint little home, nothing special. Two stories, yellow, typical in every way. Wade knocked three times on the door, waiting as patiently as he could with the saran-wrapped pie in one hand. He hears a crash, a muffled shout, and then the door swung open.

“I already told you Herb-” The Duck at the door starts to snap, but the words die on his tongue and he blinks owlishly at Wade, obviously expecting someone else. Behind him are two kids, one with a mop of vibrant orange hair pulled back into pigtails and another in thick glasses. The girl was holding a hockey stick and looking sheepish mixed with curious as she strained to get a good look at the visitor on her doorstep. Gosalyn mallard, if Wade’s memory proved correct- she’d been in the paper with Darwing Duck Once or twice.

Sticking his head out of the kitchen, Launchpad McQuack quirked a brow, “Who’s at the door?” He asked, and Wade recognized him instantly as Darkwings sidekick.

“I don’t know,” The duck in front of him frowned, “Are you new to the neighborhood?”

Wade almost laughed. What a mundane question. “Uh- no, no.” He stuck out his free hand, “My name is Wade Whittaker.”

“Drake Mallard,” He introduces, automatically shaking his hand.

Wade let’s go, casting a glance over his shoulder, “I’m pretty sure I haven’t been followed- but the reason I came here is because I need your help.”

Drake’s face turns serious and he nods automatically, “Of course, what can I-” he stops short, as if just remembering something, “I mean, why do you need my help?”

Frowning, Wade blinked at him, “You’re Darkwing Duck.” He say simply, a statement of fact.

The entire household looks like they’ve just been slapped, and Wade hopes they’ll invite him inside since he feels a little exposed out here.

[theletterkite-blog]

(he may have been the first one to die, but I’m the one who paid for it. I’m the one who paid for it)

Here it is for you. For those of you who have been asking and even for those of you who haven’t. What am I doing? What happens next?

Let me bring you up to speed.

This summer I wrote and completed my thesis for my degree. I wrote on leadership at arts and cultural organizations undergoing substantial change.

It was completed in August. My marks came back in October. It passed with Distinction.

I am very proud of it, and as such, will be revising the work for publication. (That in itself is a long road and a different story for another time.)

And to answer a popular question: no, you may not read it right now.

At the time I was finishing said thesis, I had the pleasure of working for the Edinburgh International Festival as they put up their landmark 70th season this August. It was quite a new experience working on the press team and working through a festival that was spread out across the city and compacted into four weeks, as opposed to ten.

That opportunity there was worth the investment of coming to undertake this degree. I can hear some of you now raising an eyebrow about the value of work experience versus academic institutions, and I’ll tell you that by a long series of complicated and convoluted UK working laws, that experience would not have been possible without undertaking the degree.

Since that time I have been working at various locations that don’t need going into, as I have hunted for a more permanent position here. To be clear, I have been hunting for such position since April of this year and one can surmise that rejection after rejection might make a person feel rather defeated. And given this, it took me quite a long time to realize that I was not the problem. It took the Director of Development at a Scottish National Performing Company telling me that I had a strong application and did several things that the application required that no other candidate had done to realize that though I was young, fresh out of school (again) and seemingly too eager, I was playing in the same league as other Edinburgh arts managers. The problem, as people have been telling me, and as I have now realized, is not me. The problem is the system.

You would not enjoy me going into the details of what it would take for me to secure a full-time, permanent job in the arts and cultural sector here. Feel free to research it on your own, but essentially it comes down to UK Immigration Rules Appendix J: codes of practice for skilled work, which is a document that limits the categories of jobs eligible for sponsorship under a Tier 2 working visa. There are other requirements of the sponsoring organization, such as who can be hired from outside the UK or European Union without having to undergo the Residency Labour Market Test. Essentially, there are about four large, immovable factors that bar me from being employed here long-term. And due to this, I am returning to the United States.

[Those of you who do NOT want to hear me pontificate on this matter, this is really all you need to know. See you soon.]

This has been hard for me to stomach, especially while watching the successes of my friends. Any of my pals from mainland (or island nations) Europe that are from countries with in the EEA who are reading this, you’re about to be mildly offended. You don’t know how easy you have it. You can move and work freely within the EEA without trouble. There’s potential to even be employed in two or more EU nations at once. Unless an organization wants to go through the time, money and paperwork of making a case to the Home Office for me to remain here in the UK, I cannot get a job. I don’t have the luxury of a fancy legal loophole by which I can trace my ancestry back through to Europe and thereby apply through said European country’s US embassy for citizenship: all of my ancestors who might serve as proof of such are dead. No tricks, no workarounds for me. You can see why the complaints of Europeans not being able to find a job in Edinburgh’s oversaturated arts market fall on deaf ears with me. You can work abroad so easily, experience different languages and cultures with so much more acceptance. I know many of you want to stay in Edinburgh but YOU CAN GO WHEREVER IN EUROPE YOU WANT.

Some of you might make (and have made) the argument that I am able to work wherever in the US that I want (true), and that each state is like its own tiny little nation (not exactly), and isn’t that the same thing? No. That’s like saying the cultures of Kentucky and Montana are as different as those of Ireland and Greece. I think you’ll find that if you went there, Kentucky and Montana are actually quite similar in a lot of ways and then go ahead and tell an Irishman he’s basically the same as a Grecian. See what happens. However, without the lived experience of working in the US, I suppose you’ll never really understand, no matter how plain I make my explanations. You’ve never been refused letting of a flat in the UK based on your nationality because your status as an EEA citizen supersedes it. It makes your application, from one important angle, irrefutable (Well, at least for now.)

So yes, we’ve all had it bad. We’re a crew of smart people who have been shot into a market already teeming with talent in our field and because we are millennials living in an age still controlled by Baby Boomers, they expect us to rise to the top as they did when they “were your age.” As they did when $6 an hour working in a mailroom but them through college. Today, to put oneself through college at any reasonably-priced university (because hey Europeans!, I could never go to uni for free!) we would need to be making $18 an hour. Too bad the Federal minimum wage in American is only $7.25. But the fact of the matter is, that I have to return home because the UK will not move mountains to employ me, and strangely, I believe that is because it simply does not want to.

This, I find absurd. Long have we Americans hailed Great Britain for its utopia-like public funding for the arts, purely because their government has chosen to make arts and culture a policy priority longer than the US has. (And the Prime Minister, unlike the current US President, has not tried to entirely defund the National Endowment for the Arts in a political budget move...) American arts managers have had to contend with steadily diminishing budgets for years, and that mentality has now more visibly crept into the UK as well, with the rise of far-right values that hearken back to a darker age of Westernized war. “Devastating” arts cuts in the UK may be coming this January, as the public and the policymakers begin to question whether continued publicly funding for the arts is worth it. To combat this potentiality, I have watched as organizations here have scraped their budgets for salary money to hire fundraising managers to pilot, embolden, or overhaul individual giving programs. One would think that these organizations who haven’t had to grapple with the task of asking audiences for additional funds on top of what they pay in taxes, would be most interested to take on someone who has experience in working at organizations who have had to stake their livelihood on these exact kinds of donations. Just the other day I was told “Try and get some experience in fundraising, the UK is looking for fundraising people right now with all these cuts.” This individual, clearly unfamiliar with my background (I may not be the Region’s Best Individual Fundraiser but I’m not stupid) completely underscores my point. With such a demand for individuals with these skills, why on earth would they evict someone with these skills, when that person could be of great assistance?

Because of UK Immigration Rules Appendix J: codes of practice for skilled work. That’s why. If you’re not British, not working in hard science, and don’t have a PhD, you’re nothing. There, I just saved you having to read all 26 pages of the document.

It’s lunacy. Here I am, a smart, capable person, now defeated by a webpage that says “you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.” What to do as a monolingual in modern Europe? Little. You try getting an EU Blue Card (yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like.) That prospect is tragically unlikely. So back I go, to a political nightmare in which fetuses are due to be classified as individuals for TAX REASONS upon passage of the #goptaxscam, 13 million Americans will lose health care coverage with the rescinding of the PPACA individual mandate, and the Federal Communication Commission is so interested in providing flawless internet services to only the wealthiest that without a job, and without a reasonable income, I may never be able to afford to update this blog again.

So here we are, right at the end. That’s the story, that’s the update. And it makes me mad. I undertake one of the best experiences of my life, and as a result, find that upon reentering society from the haven of academia that society wants to remind me:

YOU’RE NOTHING

YOU’RE NOTHING

YOU’RE NOTHING

The older and wiser of you reading this are likely thinking “That’s what we call life/it’s not always easy/you just have to figure it out/take your lumps/can’t expect to have everything handed to you.” You probably think I sound like a self-entitled millennial. But I didn’t come here to please you. I came here to put down my thoughts, to take one last wallow. To metaphorically prepare for battle through extended complaint.

I didn’t write this for your pity. I didn’t write this for your comments. I wrote this to explain to everyone why when I say I’m leaving I don’t want to see you pull a sad face and say “Don’t go!” “Don’t go” is not an option anymore. I have to, and you know that. It’s a first world problem for sure, being able to hop right back home to a welcoming family in what seems to be one of the only states who actually knows what they’re doing: don’t think I can’t see my privilege (white, and otherwise) in all of this. But this is not a joyous homecoming. This is a return marked by having been defeated by a sector that has been influenced by a government that hate and fear have crept into. America is the cause. And while others my run from it to the other side of the ocean with their bought passports or observe from far away, fortunately-fated with a heritage they didn’t get to select, I will be flying into the thick of it. Biding my time. Preparing my next move. I will celebrate the turn of the new year and cope with the coming age. And when the UK’s arts cuts come and Edinburgh finds itself in need of someone like me, I might pause to glance at the news. Until then, I’ll leave this place that opened me to academia and then turned around and told me I was nothing and return to the fray. (How’s that for a “Welcome to hell?”)

It’s been something, Edinburgh. Thank you, David. See y’all on the other side.

[nehapatel64]

From fringes to core of #KRPKAB episode 286

    There is a lot I have been saying or wanting to say regarding everything that happened since Dev came to Bose house. Episode 286 was the one that inspired me to write a full-fledged meta in the first place. Since I would have to practically write a book if I covered Dev’s entire visit, I’m going to break apart this episode and branch out to past and future episodes where I see fit. It won’t cover everything I want to say, but it will take care of plenty.

Scene 1: Devakshi confrontation

The episode started with a volatile confrontation between Dev and Sonakshi, which was fairly true to their current characters. The conversation started with Sona’s noteworthy observation that, even though Dev is against Sona speaking ill about his mother, he knew all her words were about Ishwari. We have seen since the beginning of the leap that a part of Dev always knew that the reason Sona left the house was Ishwari, and that Sona was greatly suffering in that home. He has outwardly mentioned it to his mom in an earlier leap episode that Sona’s other option from leaving him was to suffer in Dixit house. However, both still manage to call bluff or sideline each other’s open confessions. Neither Dev nor Sonakshi see any chance of reconciliation or have any hopes that the other will understand their problem. Experience taught Sona that she should not expect Dev to be an understanding significant other, no matter how good he could be as a father or son. Sona leaving with such finality 7 years ago taught Dev that there was no chance she was going to take him back. It’s very easy to see why Sona left the house but more difficult to see why Dev never tried to get her back. Dev was so used to Sona’s unconditional love and understanding, and he took it for granted. This was the first time in Dev’s life that someone hadn’t put the obligation of everyone on him but rather made him her everything. She was a woman who Dev admired for her strength to achieve everything and face all difficulties. That’s why when the moment came that she realized she had tried way too hard and couldn’t take it anymore, Dev couldn’t understand why his wife had reached her maximum. (P.S @moredottedlines, I refrained so hard from inserting my stupid credit card reference here). On the eve of the break up, Dev begged her to forgive and forget, thinking it was the easiest thing to do. What is stuck in his mind is her response that she said she never could, that she threw her mangalsutra in the fire and said we are over. There was such finality in this moment that really attributes to why Dev didn’t go back for her and still blames her for giving up even now.  I’m not saying that he couldn’t have tried. I just see what could have prevented him. We saw a flashback of the night after Sona left where Dev blamed both Ishwari and Sona for the demise of their relationship, and we were left wondering why Sona came into the picture then. The current leap episodes have given some more clarity to that. Fast-forwarding 7 years, we see that Dev is preventing Sona from speaking ill about Ishwari despite agreeing that both women, along with him, were to blame on different levels. Dev’s intention in telling Sona not to speak like that about his mother was not because he doesn’t know it, but because he feels others don’t have a right to say these things about his family. As we saw before with giving Vicky a job, Dev had a hard time accepting this new person into the rest of this blood related family. He loved her immensely, but couldn’t understand in what way her importance should extend to the family. The difference between then and now is Dev actually no longer has such an obligation to Sona, even if he was capable of involving her.

     We also saw within this same conversation that Dev sacrificed his own reputation to save Saurabh and Ronita’s marriage, and that he couldn’t believe this wasn’t the same “obvious solution” that Sona had come to. This incident was proof that Dev doesn’t just channel his selflessness towards Ishwari or Dixits but for any loved one- even if it’s Saurabh. This got me thinking that Dev Dixit had the potential to excel in every role had their families been something better. He had no problem or bias in upholding individual relationships or loving Sona, but wasn’t able to maintain the very difficult ties that bound his separate relationships together. Now we see that, while Dev’s main concern is saving Saurabh, Sona’s concern was Dev should have told the truth. Sonakshi was always a strong (headstrong even), independent woman, but only started making a true showcase of this identity when being warm to unappreciative people killed her from within. She was someone who was used to excelling at whatever she tried and would do anything to achieve what she wants- whether it was being a perfect daughter, perfect nutritionist or perfect bahu. It’s important here that Dev pointed out that she’s putting a HUGE emphasis on Dev telling the “truth” without caring about the consequences on her brother. Dev has always been someone who would easily do this for his family, and old Sona would have accepted this too and understood it almost as well as Asha does. But this Sona has been disappointed and lied to so many times that the idea of anyone hiding anything angers her to the core. It doesn’t matter to her if Dev’s intentions were good or if Saurabh’s heart will be broken. She is tired of looking at good intention rather than good outcome. She is tired of seeing relationships being built on lies. It’s not just the pain of the past but also the seven years in between that have made her like this. As Dev likes to put it, she’s the obodro version of Dev Dixit. To Dev, that means someone who is curt, rude, hasty and doesn’t enjoy herself. To me, an obodro Dev is someone who has remaining bitterness from a plethora of struggles but still has the cleanest heart. The fact that Dev keeps using this term in a negative connotation is also an indicator to how he felt about himself before Sona entered his life. We know that Sona has brought Dev’s inner kindness and childishness to the surface. He’s aware that his personality changed for the better with Sona’s presence but can’t imagine why his absence in her life has reversed the process for her. Part of that could be because Sona is the one who said they are over.  It’s hard to sympathize with someone when you think they made a completely conscious decision to take you out of their life. As I said earlier, Dev has started to understand in the last 7 years why Sona was so unhappy with the Dixit family. However, he fails to see why that means she couldn’t work it out with him. He wanted Sona to fight for their marriage, and she wanted him to fight for her. Dev is thinking, “I couldn’t change my family, but you let something like that break us.” Sona is thinking, “You couldn’t change your family and that was a huge thing that broke us.” Both of them have to pass an entirely new journey to learn why neither of those things is as easy as it seems. All these things are what lead Sona to the point of wanting honesty from Dev now even if at the expense of Saurabh’s marriage. This emphasis on brutal honestly is something Sona has passed on to Soha too. Soha has repeated many time that she never lies, and that might actually be one reason why Sona trusts her to be in some right state of mind at any given time.  

Scene 2: Jatin and Sona phone conversation     

     The idea of being like obodro Dev makes Sona so worked up that she has to call Jatin for confirmation and consolation. It’s not just that Sona would hate to be like Dev but the idea that Dev claims to pity her for it. Dev’s sympathy is exactly what she has been running from for the past 7 years. She has worked years to completely free herself from any need, desire or dependency on Dev Dixit, especially after his challenge that she failed as a wife and more. Coming to the call itself- let me just say this “Ami tomake” entry is far more endearing than “iss duniya main do tarah ke log”! The fact that they can even say that without it being romantic is a true testament to their friendship. In this conversation, we see how both these men have preconceptions about Sona that lead to contrasting, but very one sided, opinions about her. Jatin was there during Sona hardships and is well aware that these are the circumstances that have changed her. Throughout this conversation we notice that Jatin’s entire focus is on how Sona has positively changed through her hardships while Dev’s focus in the prior conversation was the burden of a hard shell and cold heart. Deep down, both men know there was once a completely different Sona that has changed for better AND worse. It’s that, while Dev misses the Sona he fell in love with, Jatin knows what created the Sona that’s changed. Dev told Sona what is true but in a negative connotation that she doesn’t want to hear. Jatin is telling Sona what is ALSO true but only exactly what she wants to hear. Neither showed her the other side of the coin. I agree that Jatin overall understands both Dev and Sona better than they (want to) understand each other. But this conversation, along with many of his other scenes indicate that Jatin’s approach to making Sona see her right path won’t be to make her realize the bad in her but to make her see the good in Dev. Dev unknowingly used this approach by proving himself as a good father. However, he won’t be outwardly doing it until he’s motivated to justify himself. The same goes for Sona. 

Scene 3: Asha and Dev Conversation on Sona, robbery and more.  

     Dev himself spelled out in this scene what I’ve already said a thousand times. Neither Dev nor Sona are in this family for each other. They have no hopes of sorting their own problems and reconciling. They are doing what they are doing only for Soha. They fight because situations bring them against each other. They fight because no matter how hard they try, they can’t ignore each other’s presence. But for both of them, the idea of staying in this resentment, idea of not forgiving but definitely putting on a façade of forgetting is far easier than the possibility that they will have to suffer from the same disaster again. I see this as a situation of did the chicken before the egg or vice versa? On one hand, they don’t really sort their problems peacefully because they see no purpose or desire. On the other hand you have to wonder how they will ever find the desire to reconcile if they don’t talk things through? The answer is that their daily situations will make this happen. We’re already seeing in Bose house that a large amount of focus is being placed on Dev’s interactions with the other members of the house besides Sona. On the other hand, the conversations between Dev and Sona are remaining fairly unprogressive and immature. While this is a method that takes a lot of patience, it also makes sense that things get sorted in some form or another with the family before Dev and Sona even express desire to figure themselves out. Through Asha, we see the mother that Dev needed to be a better person but never had. While Ishwari picked favorites, Asha remains a mother Switzerland. Asha understands both Sona and Dev and reprimands whoever is needed, wherever it’s needed. While Ishwari wanted Dev to be dependent on her, Asha demands they learn to sort their problems like adults (even if she gives them child-like punishment). Unlike Ishwari and Bijoy, Asha is willing to accept the other half of Devakshi for Soha’s sake if not anything else. My favorite thing about Asha right now is her intolerance for the immaturity. CVs scripting this into the episode show the scenes were written to shape family dynamics more than Devakshi ones. We are supposed to hate how Devakshi handle each other, because it’s forcing Bose family to interact with Dev more than they expected to. 

Scene 4: Bijoy taunts Dev on the robbery     

     The exact balance to Asha in Bose house is Bijoy. Bijoy irritates Dev repeatedly throughout Dev’s time here, 99% of the time without Dev initiating it. At one point, he made a taunt to Ishwari and Golu for their mere presence and treats Golu rudely later at Saurabh’s haldi for his association with the Dixits. Despite very stark differences between Bijoy and Ishwari, Bijoy is serving a similar taste of medicine to Dev that Sona had to suffer with Ishwari. Dev is never able to satisfy or appease Bijoy the way Sona could never satisfy Ishwari. Bijoy provokes Dev not just if he has done something at that time but for whom he is to Sona. Ishwari did the same to Sona. Sona didn’t say anything to Ishwari, because she thought she could win the whole family over if she tried hard enough. She felt an obligation to succeed at any cost- not just because she was married to Dev but also because Sonakshi Bose Dixit never fails -even if it’s at the expense of her self-respect. Dev, on the other hand, does not hold back when it comes to Bijoy. That’s not because he’s a worse person than Sona but because he knows no level of “trying hard enough” is going to win Bijoy at this point in their relationship. There is nothing advantageous here about losing self-respect, especially after you’ve already been tolerating it for several days. He claims that he just needs to survive these few days with Bijoy for Soha’s sake. This dynamic was another one, just like Dev and Sona’s that was slathered in immaturity and making no positive progress. However, the drunken confrontation between the two men in the later episode changed that. It was such a scene that seemed anticlimactic, as both men decided reconciliation was hopeless and that it’s best to fake it. However, just the fact that Bijoy was able to discuss the true roots of his hatred was a huge step forward from his behavior and a big eye opener to Dev for his. The tears in Dev’s eyes during Bijoy’s confession showed not only Dev’s inner guilt for what he had done to the Bose family but a newfound empathy with Bijoy’s pain. There is a clear regret in Dev’s face that comes, not from hurting Sona, but from making a father ache like this for his daughter. Unfortunately, and realistically, this moment isn’t enough to make all well between Bijoy and Dev. Dev outwardly expresses what we suspected from his behavior all along; he doesn’t think Bijoy can move on. Bijoy in no time agrees, and Dev is left saying, if for no other reason, forgive and forget because it’s been 7 years. If Dev had any intention of making amends with Sona, he would not use “time” as a reason to move forward. But he doesn’t, and neither does she. 

Scene 5: Ishwari’s Nightmare

     Ishwari says at the end of the nightmare, “Aakhir jis baat ka darr tha, wohi hua na Dev?” Even in her subconscious, Ishwari indirectly blames Sona for the fact that Soha wanted to move to a separate house. Ishwari still feels Dev will prioritize Sona. Sona thinks Dev will prioritize Ishwari. In reality, Dev is trying to prioritize no one but Soha. @archanasean brought up a good point once that, does this nightmare indicate that Ishwari won’t even spare Soha from her insecurities? That’s the trigger that made me realize that even in this nightmare, the actual blame is indirectly being placed on Sona still. We already know that Ishwari is super determined to undo everything Sona has made Soha. As a grandmother with a history of raising dependent children, she doesn’t see the appeal in a child who has full-fledged independence. For any vice she finds in Soha, it’s going to somehow go to Sona. Which is why I’m hoping for a future event in which Ish can’t even deny Sona’s upbringing did some good.  

Scene 6: Golu and Sona discussing Devakshi and their friends      

     Golu has been taught everything is Sona’s fault. Soha has been taught everything is Dev’s. Bijoy and Ishwari’s bias for their children was emphasized through Golu and Soha. Both parents wear blinders when it comes to their children. The main difference between Bijoy and Ishwari is that Bijoy has other sensible family members to help him find the balance and stop him when he is going too far. Plus, Bijoy has insecurity but not possessiveness. He fears Dev’s involvement in Sona and Soha’s life and fails to have a global perspective because of this reverence of his daughter and lack of knowledge on who Dev really is. We know of Bijoy’s bias towards Sona since day one, which was once jokingly reflected as Sona vs. Saurabh. His inability to understand Dev comes from never living with him and having several misunderstandings to worsen the situation. Ishwari, who was was unable to trust Sona despite living with her and being her patient, can’t say the same. Ishwari has both insecurity and possessiveness. The part Ishwari won’t admit is that she thinks Dev’s priorities will again change from his family to Sona. She feels she’s worthless if she’s not everything Dev needs. Without a husband, without a job, without any sort of independence, she is nothing if she’s not Dev ki maa. Yet it’s also true that part of Ishwari’s paranoia is from genuine concern that Sona will re-enter Dev’s life and leave him to shatter all over again. This is why she consistently brings up Elena as the sister who didn’t give up on them and is so taken aback and excited to see Dev even slightly happy again. Sona’s story about the person she was forced to be friends with was a great parallel to Devakshi. It showed that, deep down, Soha understood that fixing relationships is a long and gradual process and can’t be forced. She brought up how her teacher forcing her to fix her friendship with that girl ended up breaking them in less than 24 hours. Soha understands that forcing into geographic proximity doesn’t fix everything. In fact, the close space might make it worse. Soha’s stubbornness (may I say inherited from her parents) was never supposed to work. It was supposed to be a stupid decision that Devakshi impulsively listened to as the “single mother” and the “new parent” so that all these other relationship dynamics discussed earlier take place. Too bad this friendship story didn’t hit Soha earlier in the excitement of having her new father! I’m glad Devakshi stopped catering to such zidd and Soha herself is starting to show immense maturity again.

Scene 7: Ishwari vs. Sona    

     There is a genuine side of Ishwari that is against Sona coming back from fear that she will leave and make Dev become something he isn’t. This is the aspect of Ishwari that is relatable to any parent. We see the same happen with Ronita’s mom, who I find to be something in between Ishwari and Bijoy. Similar to Bijoy, Ronita’s mom is insecure about how her daughter will be treated in the new family. Similar to Ishwari, her insecurity is not just based on a general worry of her daughter living with strangers but also on one specific threat to power: Sonakshi. There is a genuine side of Ishwari then there is the side that makes her tell Sona in this scene that Dev still “worships her”. It’s not even true, but who cares as long as Sonakshi thinks mama is in charge (and maybe she’s still trying to convince herself it’s true?). This was a good parallel to show that insecurity can occur without deep pasts and unique bonds – those are just components that made Dev and Ishwari’s situation go to an extreme. Ishwari never came out of her extremity, and Dev, despite knowing it existed, couldn’t figure out how to permanently fix it. Dev couldn’t explain his complex mother-son relationship to Sona when she was begging for it, and he said it was too difficult to explain so quickly. That is understandable. Problem is he barely even tried to give it in small doses later on, and she was never able to understand because of this. That’s why up to the end of their marriage, Sona claimed balancing wife and mom isn’t that hard if you try, and Dev kept insisting that’s not the case. It’s not just Sona couldn’t understand him but that he never gave her the full opportunity to do so. This is one of several situations where one thinks he/she had the much easier solution over the other. No doubt, different situations are more in favor of Dev or in favor of Sona. It’s part of their journey to make almost every part of their life consistently easier for both.

Scene 8: The mess before Asha the savior     

     What Dev said about Ishwari offering to let them stay in separate homes is not only important but brilliantly timed with Ishwari’s nightmare about Dev and Sona living seperately with Soha. We know Ishwari was not suggesting this from the heart, and Dev in saying this now is him holding on to the fact that Ishwari asked despite knowing he might say yes. I’ve said in the past too that Ish has a way of saying the most accurate things with the worst intentions. This was one of those moments. She had a fair point that moving away could have helped Devakshi’s marriage. However, she’s also raised Dev with ideals and family mentality to NEVER do that. I don’t see this scene as Dev thought changing houses would have fixed all their problems. I see it that Dev thought their relationship could have been saved by some circumstance- any circumstance- had both sides of the family been respectively supportive. Dev was right saying that marriage was between two families and that the parents actually broke down their kids’ moral through their behavior rather than building it. Of course Ishwari is no Asha, and her offer to let them live apart is nothing compared to the issues she created in the first place. But it means more than anything to Dev that Ishwari offered something even resembling a saving grace while Bijoy encouraged Sona to not give Dev another chance. Dev isn’t denying that they had many problems with difficult solutions. He’s focusing in on the question of...but who gave them a second chance? Who encouraged them to work it out when they needed it the most? Bijoy has given Dev several chances- but as a FIL, but those were chances to fix his and Bijoy’s relationship. Right now, he’s only thinking of who was throwing him a life vest when his most important bond was in jeopardy. What Dev fails to understand is that Sona had reached a breaking point in their relationship where no one, not even her father, could have convinced her to try further (rightfully so).     

     Dev and Sona were being big babies in this fight. Sona pulling her “my house and single mom” card again, Dev pulling his powerful man card all had to come to a quick halt. This fight brought out a lot about Devakshi but also their perception of their parents. Sona, despite having no idea what Bijoy actually said to Dev, jumped on Dev from the bit she heard. This was just like she did the first time he yelled at Bijoy for Ishwari and Golu. Once again, Sona’s resentment and jumping to conclusions comes from a place of the past. Dev is guilty of the same. They can be peaceful in the moment for Soha, for Saurabh’s wedding, for society – but until they realize where they or their own parents are wrong, this pattern will persist.