#but this whole thought process is shallow

[kaurwreck]

Paradoxes Nothing in the world is as soft, as weak, as water; nothing else can wear away the hard, the strong, and remain unaltered. Soft overcomes hard, weak overcomes strong. Everybody knows it, nobody uses the knowledge. So the wise say: By bearing common defilements you become a sacrificer at the altar of earth; by bearing common evils you become a lord of the world. Right words sound wrong. [Ch. 78 of Tao Te Ching, ascribed to Lao Tzu; English version by Ursual K. Le Guin]

I'm water like how raging rivers are water, so I also find solace and praxis in Ch. 63 (excerpted from the same English version as above):

Consider Beginnings Do without doing. Act without action. Savor the flavorless. Treat the small as large, the few as many. Meet injury with the power of goodness. Study the hard while it's easy. Do big things while they're small. The hardest jobs in the world start out easy, the great affairs of the world start small. So the wise soul, by never dealing with great things, gets great things done. Now, since taking things too lightly makes them worthless, and taking things too easy makes them hard, the wise soul, by treating the easy as hard, doesn't find anything hard.

I'd recommend the entire Tao Te Ching, actually, for self cultivating mettle, but if nothing else, the above is presently, as ever, salient.

If you'd like something more literally applicable, however —

Living With Change When the government's dull and confused, the people are placid. When the government's sharp and keen, the people are discontented. Alas! misery lies under happiness, and happiness sits on misery, alas! Who knows where it will end? Nothing is certain. The normal changes into the monstrous, the fortunate into the unfortunate, and our bewilderment goes on and on. And so the wise shape without cutting, square without sawing, true without forcing. They are the light that does not shine.

(In other words, according to Ursula K. Le Guin's footnote to the above Ch. 58, Taoists gain their ends without the use of means.)

I won't promise it'll be okay, regardless of what happens over the next few days, but I can promise the outcome is navigable.

[kidfoundonstreets]

yeahwhat it all really comes down to is that i hate myself isnt it.

[etclouie]

Could you do Derek Morgan x Reader or Spencer Reid x reader where reader is a new member of the team but is scared of flying so the first time on the jet they need to comfort her? Obvi I know you have a bunch of stuff you are still writing but i think this idea could be cute. It honestly could be for each character and kinda like a head cannon list on how they would comfort reader. Thank you so much if you get to this!

first time flier

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 summary: your first time flying was on your first out of state case, and derek helps you through your nerves (Derek Morgan x fem!reader)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 warnings: none really, being scared of flying, female pet names/nicknames (angel, sweetheart etc), this is proper simple but can go deeper if people want

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 word count: 514

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 a/n: writing this for derek cause i have like no ideas for him at all

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 criminal minds masterlist | main masterlist

you’d recently joined the bau, being the newest member on the team already had nerves flying, but when your first out of state case meant you had to fly you were dreading it. 

never having flown before, you were a nervous wreck when you were walking up the jets stairs. Derek behind you, and his voice flooding your ears. 

“what’s got you all shaky legged like this?”

his voice always held teasing, and normally you managed to brush him off but your nerves had you a nervous wreck as you finally boarded the jet. sitting in the closest seat, and rolling your eyes as Derek sat down opposite you. 

that all too familiar smirk plastered across his face as he continued his teasing, his arms laid loosely across the small jet table. 

“talk t’me sweetheart, i’m not gonna judge”

meeting his eyes with a reluctant huff, his smirk immediately faltering as he finally took notice of the distressed look across your face. 

all the signs were there. watching him piece together your situation while the rest of the team boarded the jet. 

first thing you done when you sat down was pull down the small window blind and then buckling your seatbelt, breathing shallow and your head lulled back trying to soothe yourself. 

“ohh you’re scared of flying?”

there was a twitch of teasing in his tone but he was primarily reassuring as he spoke, his hands reaching across the table to soothe his thumbs across your knuckles, gathering your attention onto him and nodding in response to his question. 

“it’s nothing to be scared of angel, yeah? i’ll help you through it”

his words only processing once he was sat by your side, taking your left hand into his right one and continuing to soothe his thumb across your knuckles. 

this was one thing you didn’t expect when you woke up this morning, the Derek Morgan helping you get over your fear of flying. especially not with him this close to you and holding your hand, this was a nice change compared to the teasing Derek you had grown familiar with. 

“thank you, for this and for helping me with flying for the first time”

glancing up at him to see his eyes already on you, his thumb stilling against your knuckles before a chuckle pushed past his lips. 

“your first time flying? shit, i thought you were just a bad flier”

that had a soft laugh leaving you, most of your nerves gone as you focussed on Derek’s distractions. his hand never leaving yours, even when Hotch began debriefing the case. 

you felt safe flying with Derek by your side, his teasing slowly coming back and holding your full attention with it. 

even on the flight home, he made sure to sit right next to you. nerves still there, but a lot less rampant than the flight out. Derek was there for you the whole time, his hand in yours once more; and even managing to get you to sleep. 

as long as you had Derek there, flying wouldn’t be that bad. 

requests are open here !

[hgfictionwriter]

Gravity - Part Two

Jessie Fleming x Reader

Summary: Jessie learns you're engaged. The lies you've been living implode on you both. It's now or never.

Warning: Smut. Dry humping Simulated intercourse, eventual intercourse, possessive sex, cheating, language.

A/N: Angst with a happy ending. Final part of the series. Part One is here. Jessie and Reader's behaviour in this is not healthy lol but I love the drama haha.

Jessie stared at the screen in her hands and felt numb. She couldn't feel her body and her mind was vacant as she sat there motionless. Her eyes remained fixated on the shine from the newly placed ring on your finger.

Someone else's ring. Not hers.

Jessie had no sense of time, unaware of how long she stared until she managed to click on the comments.

Congratulations!!

So excited for you two!

About time!

Can't wait for my invite!

She swallowed and tried valiantly to ignore the stinging sensation that was building behind her eyes. Her grip on her phone tightened. She didn't notice her knuckles growing white.

This couldn't be real. It just couldn't be. You wouldn't get engaged. Not to someone who wasn't her.

Her breathing began to grow shallow and quick and she ground her teeth together hard. She tore her eyes away from her phone and stared hard at the wall as a cacophony of thoughts and feelings began to churn.

How could you? Was she crazy? All these years, these secret rendezvouses, passion-filled sex with proclamations of love every time. She would've swore you were making love - reconnecting and cherishing each other, small moments of reprieve as you held each other between the droughts of separation. She would've gone to her grave believing that your eyes were filled with love for her.

Maybe she'd been lying to herself this whole time.

Maybe she was just a fool.

A wave of anger and devastation went through her and her shoulders shook as she choked back a sob. She sniffled, making the mistake of letting her gaze fall back down to her phone and the image of you and your girlfriend - wrong - fiancée. Another strangled cry formed in her throat before she angrily forced it down.

She really thought you'd wait for her. At least some deep-seated part of her did; that you were just killing time with these girls. A distraction while she was away. That's all her girls ever were. They were never meant to replace you; simply pass the time and give some semblance of normalcy every so often.

Anytime anyone got too close, she'd use her career and her schedule as an excuse to not go deeper. In her mind, she really saw herself coming home to you at the end of it all.

Tears fell onto her screen, distorting the image of you. She screwed her eyes shut.

She didn't understand. If you didn't feel the same way, then why did you come back to her every time she was in town? Why would you jeopardize your relationship? It didn't make sense.

Maybe it really was just fucking. At least for you.

She sniffled, again clenching her jaw as she tried to keep the full weight of her emotions at bay. She exhaled shakily as she started a comment on her phone.

Congratulations

No. She could hear the bitterness.

Congrats

No. Even worse.

Eventually, she settled for a heart emoji. She hoped you knew it should've been the opposite.

And, maybe she was a sucker for punishment.

Jessie clicked off her phone. Full sobs finally wracked her body as she tried to process. Maybe even grieve.

--------

The months passed and the news of your engagement was still a dull ache in the depths of Jessie's chest.

You'd texted her along the way and she left you on read. Something she'd never done. Jessie felt an overwhelming sense of disappointment and dejection at how much effort it took to do it. It should be easy to cut you off completely.

You'd texted again a week later to ask how she was. Jessie chose to lean into the anger she felt and ignored you once more.

You followed up again.

Please don't do this.

Jessie felt an insidious sense of vindication at how you chased her. As superficially fulfilling as it was, she didn't like this side of herself.

One night Jessie was at home relaxing after a hard day of training. She should be sleeping, but truth be told, she hadn't really slept well in months.

She didn't like lying awake in bed, so she'd gotten up and was instead immersed in her book on the couch. She was about to flip the page when her phone began to ring. She frowned and glanced over at it.

She froze momentarily when she saw your name on the screen. She subconsciously reached out, her hand hovering over the phone before she managed to pull back. She huffed in irritation before resettling herself on the couch and determinedly returned to her book until the buzzing of her phone stopped.

A mixture of relief and loss went through her when silence filled the room once more. She clenched her jaw as she tried to center herself.

You never called. And especially not at this hour. Her latent anger was briefly replaced by worry. Were you okay?

Before she could spiral too much her phone lit up again with your name.

Jessie studied the device wordlessly as your name was displayed insistently. She swallowed and her hand shot out sharply to pick up the phone. She was going to regret this.

"What."

"Jessie." If you were bothered by her antagonistic greeting, you didn't show it. Her name came through with a blend of relief and emotion.

"What." Jessie's response was harsher this time.

"You haven't talked to me." Your voice was small and Jessie frowned. It wasn't like you. Yet, she let out an abrasive scoff.

"Yeah? So what."

"I can't stand it," you said, a waver in your voice.

Her features screwed up in anger and she shut her book with a slam, abruptly pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the couch cushion. She shouldn't engage, but all of the pent up feelings she'd worked tirelessly to dampen came boiling up.

"Well maybe you should've thought of that before," she said venomously. You didn't reply right away and Jessie swore she heard you sniffle. It put a chink in her resolve. A deep frown lingered on her face, but her posture softened just so. "Why are you calling."

"I need to see you," you said, finding your voice again.

Jessie shook her head in confusion. "What the heck are you talking about."

"Can we talk? Can I come up?" You pleaded. Again, Jessie's face screwed up in confusion.

Jessie clicked her tongue in irritation. “Even if I was willing - how would you propose that, hm?”

"You didn't hear?" You asked. "I'm in town."

Jessie was beyond baffled now. You answered her question before she could ask.

"I planned for my bachelorette to be here," you went on quietly. Emotions flared up inside of Jessie again.

"Well that's a fucking coincidence," she said snarkily.

"It's not." You undermined her sarcasm without hesitation. She swallowed again and closed her eyes.

"So. Wait. Where are you?"

"Outside your apartment," you said quietly again. A beat passed. "I got your address from Teagan."

Jessie didn't know what to feel. She was outraged, but it was dampened by something else. She was so overwhelmed right now she couldn't discern how to react.

She raked her fingers over her face tiredly. “Your fucking bachelorette,” she muttered in a mixture of bitterness and disbelief. She took a sharp breath and continued.

"And where are you friends? They just let you leave your own bachelorette?" She questioned curtly.

"[Y/best friend] knows where I am." You replied. Jessie knew her - she’d been your best friend for years, meaning Jess had been friends with her at some point, too. "She's covering for me."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Jessie said as she let herself fall back against the couch and held a hand wearily to her face once more. This was insane.

"Jessie. Please let me in."

A whining grumble emerged from Jessie's throat and she inadvertently dug her fingers into her face before growling and standing up like a shot off the couch.

"Fuck," breathed harshly. "Jesus. Fine. I'll buzz you in."

A short while later, Jessie paced the entrance of her apartment back and forth as she waited for you to come up. She cursed herself and cursed you, but she also couldn't ignore the way her heart raced and something akin to anticipation filled her.

Her eyes flit to the door as a light knock came through. She stood motionless for several seconds before she cleared her throat and walked over. She took a deep breath before placing her hand on the door knob and turning it.

She clenched her jaw unknowingly as her eyes fell upon you standing before her. You were in a dress and your hair and makeup was done up, but it still didn't hide the subtle bags under your eyes. Seems like you hadn’t been sleeping well either.

You held Jessie's gaze wordlessly, silently seeking her permission to come inside.

She eventually cleared her throat once more and stepped aside to make way for you. You flinched slightly as Jessie shut the door behind you harder than necessary. When you turned back to face her, she was standing there arms crossed and feet planted, a stern look on her face.

"Well. You're here. What do you want." Her voice was anything but inviting and a far cry from the tone you were so accustomed to with her.

“I needed to see you,” you repeated. Jessie narrowed her eyes.

“Why?” She exhaled, her voice growing cold. “We have nothing to do with one another anymore.”

Your gaze dropped immediately and Jessie saw your jaw tighten. You eventually met her piercing gaze once more.

“I-I don’t think I can stand that. I thought I could. But…I can’t.”

Jessie tossed her hands up in frustration. She was normally pretty composed during confrontations off the pitch, but you had her feeling out of control.

“What do you want me to say to that?" She laughed incredulously. "That we can keep fucking a few times a year, texting in between and everything can stay the same?” She paused briefly, fighting off a sudden pricking sensation behind her eyes. She took a breath. “Now that I know how you actually feel, there’s no way.”

“No, Jess-” You took a step forward, causing her to take a quick step back. You stilled. “Jess. I know how it seems. I never lied to you. I just…,” you trailed off.

“Just what?” Jessie cut in acidicly after you took too long to find your words. “And you did fucking lie. Because if you love someone you don’t go off and marry someone else.”

You gave her a hard look and spoke evenly.

“Honestly? I didn’t think you’d care.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jessie seethed.

“What exactly did you expect?” So far Jessie had been the only indignant one, but her accusation sparked a fire in you. “You’re off playing all over the world and I get your scraps whenever you happen to be around. You fuck me and then off you go again until the next time you hit me up.”

Your declaration silenced Jessie momentarily. She hadn't necessarily viewed things like that. And she certainly didn't think that was your perspective.

“I told you I love you.” Jessie’s voice strained as she took a step toward you. You remained rooted to your spot. “I tell you every time. I tell you I won’t play forever.”

You let your hands fall away from you listlessly. “And what was I to do with that?” You asked, your voice tense. You saw the expression on Jessie’s face and you clarified. “That you won’t play forever. That’s no guarantee of anything. Loving someone doesn't equal building a life with them.”

Jessie ran both hands through her hair, digging her fingers into her scalp painfully as she did so. She inhaled a shaky breath and did her best to speak calmly.

“I told you I love you. What do you think that means? You think I say that to anyone else?” Her defense brought up the reality of your situation and her anger returned. “No. That’s what you do. But not me.”

The hurt she felt began to boil over and she lashed out further.

“You were almost always seeing someone else. And I wasn’t going to ask you to wait until I was done. I’m not that selfish.” She paused, swallowing the emotions as best she could. “I thought.” She had to stop, dropping her gaze briefly as she reset. “I tried my best to not let it get to me, you seeing other girls - and I know I saw other people too - but I thought when everything was said and done…,” she trailed off as a lump formed in her throat. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

Jessie turned on her heel and walked over to the couch and sat down heavily. She leaned back and crossed one arm over her chest and brought the other up as she mindlessly chewed at the skin of her thumb.

You didn’t move right away, contemplating what to do next. You watched Jessie who determinedly stared at the wall; you decided to step tentatively into the room. Jessie’s eyes flicked over to you momentarily before pointedly returning to the wall.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted this,” you asked as you gestured between you and her. You suddenly felt worn out and weary. “Us.”

Jessie’s eyes snapped towards you and her tone was sharp. “I wouldn't ask you to put your life on hold. And you chose not to come with me to London. Why would I ask you to wait?”

“But you wanted me to.”

Jessie sat up, her lips drawn tight in frustration. “Well you clearly didn’t want the same,” she said with a meaningful glance to the ring on your hand. She sat back heavily once more. “So I’m glad I never asked.”

“Jessie. I came here tonight because I do want you,” you countered, your voice taut. “The closer I get to the wedding…,” you trailed off, your gaze falling to your feet as you swallowed the discomfort you felt. You felt Jessie’s eyes on you. You blinked back the start of tears and forced yourself to look at her. “The closer I get,” you started anew, voice stronger this time, “the more I realize I’m making a mistake.”

Jessie held your gaze, her jaw set. She eventually exhaled and looked away.

"You're drunk," Jessie said, her voice low.

"Hardly," you said. “My feelings for you are present all the time. The more I drink, the harder they are to hide. That’s all."

Jessie bristled and shot you a look before saying dryly. "Lucky me." She frowned, frustration anew. "And lucky for your fiancée. What a fucking joke." You heard the break in her voice. She turned her head away from you.

You sniffled, subconsciously picking at the fabric of your dress as you watched her. It broke your heart to see how you’d turned this kind, sweet woman into a shell of herself, now protecting what was left with acidic remarks and seething anger.

“I came here because I needed to know if you felt the same. Really felt the same.”

This time, when Jessie’s head snapped back towards you, her eyes were brimming with tears.

“I begged you to come with me to London. I’ve barely dated anyone, but those I did never stood a chance. I was always too preoccupied. And I don’t just mean soccer.” She blinked back her tears and ground her teeth. “I’ve always loved you. I still do. Whether you’d come with me to London or we did long distance or whatever - I felt like no matter what, you’d be my wife one day.”

Finally, a couple of tears started to fall and when Jessie spoke her voice trembled. “And it’s fucking devastating waking up every day knowing you’re going to marry someone else.”

You crossed the room to her on instinct alone and she stood as you approached. You stopped shortly in front of her and you held each other’s gaze wordlessly. Her shoulders rose and fell with deep breaths as she tried to not fall apart.

“I still believe I shouldn’t have come with you to London.” Your gaze was unwavering and you saw how the set of her jaw tensed further at your proclamation. “But I think we should’ve tried. It wouldn’t have been easy to be apart, but it would’ve been better than pretending that we didn’t need each other.”

Now tears began to form behind your eyes. When you spoke your voice was thick with emotion.

“I missed you so much. All the time. I felt numb without you. But I really couldn’t believe you’d ever truly come back for me. How could you? After all you’ve achieved and the amazing journeys you’ve been on, why would you choose me in the end?” You let out a shuddering breath. “At some point I think I felt like I needed to move on - as best I could anyway. Stop waiting around for someone who was never coming home.”

Jessie’s lip trembled as she held your gaze. “I would always choose you. You should know that.”

“But I didn’t,” you returned, your voice tight. “I’m sorry.”

You brought your hand up and gently cupped her cheek. She winced initially, her features screwing up in emotion before she subtly leaned into your touch.

“Truth is. I’m lost without you, Jessie.”

When her eyes opened, they were glistening with tears and she looked so sad.

“I’m sorry it’s ever felt like I was using you or I didn’t care.” Her voice was taut and she frowned as she worked to hold back her emotions. “Because, truth is, even after all these years, being with you feels like home.”

Hearing her words sent a wave of emotions through you and you closed your eyes and leaned forward to kiss her. She passively accepted your kiss.

You pulled back momentarily to look at her. Her eyes fluttered open to meet yours. They were truly the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen. You leaned in and kissed her once more. This time she returned it.

Your kiss deepened over several moments before you broke away long enough to gently push her down onto the couch. She looked up at you, not breaking eye contact as you hiked up your dress enough to straddle her lap. She swallowed but her hands came up to rest on your hips over the fabric. You leaned down and captured her lips in another kiss.

You subtly began rocking your hips against her and her fingers dug into you. She kissed you a while longer before pulling back.

“You’re engaged.”

You brought your hands up to clasp behind her neck, your thumbs rubbing up and down the taut muscles there.

“I know.” Your eyes remained locked on each other. “It should be to you.”

Her mouth fell open subtly and her breathing deepened. Her gaze was fixed on you.

“I know.” Her tone was almost stern before softening. “It could be.”

You leaned in and kissed her hard. She met you, returning the kiss greedily. She gripped your hips and began helping you rock against her before she stopped abruptly, moving her hands down your dress to rest on your legs.

“You’re still engaged,” she repeated. “It’s different than before. We shouldn’t…”

Despite her words, her fingers were kneading into the muscles of your legs and she still kissed you eagerly. Morally - yes, you should stop. But, as always, this was Jess.

You placed your hands on her shoulders and shifted yourself so you were straddling a single leg of hers. You moved a bit further down her leg and rolled your hips against her, your core rubbing against her muscular leg. Even though you still had your panties on, the friction sent irresistible waves through your body and left you wanting more.

Jessie could easily feel your heat through the thin fabric of her pants and it sent goosebumps all over her. She dug her fingers into your legs through your dress.

“Y/N…” Your name came out both pleading and as a warning. She tried to ignore how she instinctively flexed her leg against you. Your grip tightened on her and soon you were whispering in her ear.

“Do you know how many times I’ve touched myself while I think of you?” Your hot breath in her ear sent shivers down her spine.

“How many times you’ve made me cum without ever actually touching me?”

A small groan worked its way up Jessie’s throat and she flexed her leg again, you ground down against it immediately. You kissed Jessie hungrily and she returned it eagerly. She could feel your arousal starting to seep through the fabric that separated you.

She was trying so hard to be good, but you grinding against her and breathing in her ear was making it nearly impossible.

Jessie let out a shaky breath and despite her intentions her hands began to work their way under your dress. She stopped herself by your knees, digging her fingers into your skin there.

“I don’t want to just make you cum,” she told you between heated kisses. “I want more.” Jessie dug her nails in. “It kills me to think I’ve just been a fuck to you.” She hissed as you dragged your nails down the back of her neck.

“You’ve never been just a fuck. Ever.” You told her resolutely as you continued to grind against her leg. You could feel how your underwear was nearly soaked through already. “You’re so much more to me. You’re everything. I’m in love with you, Jess. That never changed.”

Jessie’s head fell back against the couch and she lifted her knee to give you more friction. She watched your eyes shut as you rode her leg.

“But I’m not the one who falls asleep next to you,” she challenged you. You locked eyes with her again.

“You could be.”

Jessie let her hands roam further up your legs until her thumbs rest in the crook between your thighs and hips.

“I hate that she gets you every night.” Jessie leaned up and kissed your neck. She smiled to herself as you moaned and began running your fingers through her hair. “That she gets to make love to you.”

“I think of you when she’s on top of me,” you said as your fingers continued to roam through Jessie’s hair. She flexed her leg and pushed up towards you, her hands now pulling you down onto her as well. Another moan fell from your lips.

“It’s always your name on the tip of my tongue,” you continued.

Jessie’s breathing grew heavy and a few subtle grunts escaped her as you brought yourself closer and closer to your climax. The fabric of her pants was wet with your arousal now and it was driving her crazy.

Jessie and you were in a rhythm and you pulled back to see each other. She stared into your eyes, your gazes unyielding, and it wasn’t long before you tensed up on top of her. Your panties were soaked completely through and you dug your fingers into her crown as you came.

You fell against Jessie as your orgasm faded and she absently massaged your thighs. She kissed your neck chastely and urged you to pull back to look at her. When you did, her expression was set.

“We’re not friends,” Jessie told you resolutely. “We never will be. I can’t look at you and pretend I’m not in love with you.” You nodded and kissed her tenderly.

“I know. It’s the same for me. I’ve been in love with you since I was 19, Jess.”

While Jessie’s expression was stoic a moment ago, now her lower lip trembled and her eyes glistened.

“You can’t marry her.”

You sat back momentarily and took in this woman before you.

“I won’t.” You promised her.

Jessie’s fingers dug into you once more and her jaw clenched.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” You told her with confidence.

She brought one hand out from under your dress and grasped your left hand. Her fingers gripped your engagement ring, giving it a solid tug and removing it. She didn’t break eye contact with you as she placed it in your palm.

“It should be my ring on your finger.”

A rush of emotion went through you at her declaration. You took the ring and set it aside before kissing her.

“So put a ring on my finger.”

Suddenly, everything Jessie had been holding back tonight came bursting forward. She gripped you tightly and carried you to the bedroom, quickly doing away with your dress and your ruined underwear. She kissed you possessively as she wasted no further time and ran two firm fingers through your folds.

“You’re mine from now on,” Jessie told you unequivocally. “I’m sick of sharing you.”

You moaned in her ear before adding, “Same applies to you. No more fucking other girls.”

She smirked and began circling your clit. “They never compared anyway. And why would I want anyone else if I can come home to you.”

“Remember that,” you panted, “when you’re halfway around the world and surrounded by beautiful women.”

“You’re the only one I want,” she said with no hesitation.

“Jessie,” you pleaded as you tugged at her shirt. “I want your skin on mine.”

She smirked into the kiss. “Take it off me, then.”

You reached down and pulled the shirt up her back and over her head. She sat up, straddling your leg and inadvertently showing off her incredible physique as she tossed the shirt to the floor. You tugged at the waistband of her pants and she continued to give you a charming smirk as she rose off the bed briefly to remove them.

She climbed back on top of you and ran her hands along your chest and down your stomach with a low growl rumbling in her chest.

“No more sneaking around,” she proclaimed as her eyes met yours. “I want people to know about us.”

You were dripping wet already, but the intensity of her words and the way she looked at you made your core pulse.

She leaned down and ran a thumb along your jaw, her lips hovering just above yours.

“We’ve wasted enough time. I don’t want to waste anymore.”

“Me neither,” you agreed as you cupped her face.

“Starting now,” Jessie asserted as she shifted so she was between your legs, which you readily spread for her. Her hands ran along your legs, wrapping them around her waist as she ran her fingers through your slick folds once more, lubing up her fingers with your wetness before sinking inside of you. “Fuck,” Jessie hissed as you clamped down around her fingers. “You feel so amazing each and every time.”

A wanton moan left your lips. Your fingers dug into her shoulders as you tossed your head back as you felt her digits fill and stretch you.

“God, Jessie, you always make me feel so good,” you said, feeling short of breath already. You felt her body jostle against you as she let out a smug snicker.

“I haven’t even gotten started,” she said as she withdrew her fingers slowly before plunging them back inside to her knuckles. She pulled your earlobe between her teeth and flicked it with her tongue.

“You’re always so good,” you told her as you arched into her. You chuckled. “It’s embarrassing how easily you get me off.”

“Mmm, let’s not call it easy, baby. I very much made a point of ensuring you’d remember me and how I made you feel regardless of who you were going back to.” Her breath was hot in your ear and she traced her tongue along the shell of your ear.

“Then you were very successful,” you told her, your words truncated by subtle moans as she pumped in and out of you, her body rocking above you as she did. “There were too many times I almost said your name.”

A low growl formed in Jessie’s throat again and she quickened her thrusts. “I wish you would’ve.” Despite herself, Jessie’s hand made its way up to your throat and it rest there at the base, her fingers ever so slightly wrapping around you. “I want to be the only one you cum for.”

You ran your fingers through her hair and nodded. “You will be - I promise.” You moaned loudly as Jessie’s fingers curled inside of you and stroked your g-spot repeatedly.

“Now.” Jessie commanded. “Starting now. I’m the only one who fucks you, has sex with you, makes love to you. You aren’t sleeping with her again. Or anyone else.”

You nodded mindlessly as your moans continued to fill the room alongside the sounds of her strong thrusts in and out of you.

“Say it,” she demanded. “You’re mine now. Your body, your heart, your everything - belongs to me now.”

“Oh fuck,” you said in a low moan as you writhed beneath her. “Yes, Jessie. I promise - I’m yours completely.” Jessie groaned and her strokes grew harder.

“I’ll buy a place for the two of us. And I’ll come home to you as often as I possibly can. And I promise I will make every minute away worth your while.”

You clawed at her back and she continued to chant declarations in your ear. The bed creaked with each thrust as she pushed you deeper into the mattress.

“I’ll give you so many orgasms you’ll need a break from me. And I will love you so thoroughly and deeply you’ll never feel alone no matter how far away I am. I promise.” Her voice softened.

“Jesus Christ, Jess. I’m so close.”

Jessie lifted her head and kissed you deeply.

“Marry me. Please. It doesn’t have to be soon - but please, let it be me.”

You kissed her hard, pulling her even closer towards you. “Yes. Oh my god, yes, Jessie.”

Jessie didn’t break your kiss as she continued to pump into you desperately. You both groaned deep in your throats and soon your climax took you.

You continued to moan into each other’s mouths as she rocked into you, your arousal dripping down her palm and onto the sheets. When your body grew limp, she exhaled heavily and let her weight rest upon you as you both worked to catch your breath.

She was absently stroking your hair with her free hand when you came around. You slowly blinked, your vision coming back into focus.

“Did you just ask me to marry you?” You asked.

Jessie hummed and lifted herself up enough to look down at you. “I did. And you said “yes” - but if-”

“No, no. I’m not changing my mind. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t imagine it,” you told her lightly. She chuckled softly and kissed your cheek.

“I mean, we need to have some deeper, bigger conversations about how all of this will work, but my feelings stay the same,” she told you. You nodded in return.

“I know. It’s going to be very complicated and messy for a while. Are you up for that?” You asked and she stared at you steadfast.

“I’ll endure anything if it means I get to be with you at the end of the day.” You smiled at her, but her eyes began to shimmer with tears once more. “Please don’t change your mind in the morning. It would devastate me.”

“Jessie.” You kissed her reassuringly. “You’re the one I’ve wanted all along. I’m not changing my mind.” It was your turn to frown. “If you’re uncertain at all - you have to say it now. I cried every day when you went to London. I can’t do that again.” You took a breath and held her gaze. “I can’t have my heart broken a second time.”

“You won’t go through that again,” Jessie promised. “No more heartbreak. I swear.”

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Save Me, Brother

Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, bit of Sam Winchester x little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: instead of the little boy, it’s you who almost drowns in 1x03

“Stay in the car, alright?”

You nodded at your oldest brother.

Dean lingered by the car to let Sam get ahead, before turning to look at you.

“Hey, you alright?”

You gave him a small smile in return, and he glanced back at Sam, torn between finishing the job and staying with you.

“Yeah, ok,” he said finally. “Well I’m gonna be back soon, ok? Just stay right here.”

You nodded again, and he sighed and turned to follow Sam.

You hadn’t been speaking much since John left, and Dean had just rolled with it thus far, but it was starting to worry him more and more.

You still spoke occasionally, but you’d been withdrawn lately, and Dean was struggling to figure out what to do about it.

…

When you saw the little boy heading down the path towards the lake, you couldn’t stay put. You wanted nothing more than to listen to Dean’s instructions and stay in the car, but you also knew what could happen if that boy went to the lake.

You reached the dock just in time to see him stick his arm out towards the water, straining to reach something. You ran across the dock, reaching down to pull his arm back when it happened.

A cold hand exploded out of the water and latched onto yours, which had just gotten in the way of the little boy’s.

“Y/N, no!” You heard Dean’s desperate cry as you were pulled under, the spirit going deeper and deeper until your ears popped, and your lungs began to strain.

You saw a dark figure appear above you—Dean!—and despite your better judgment, your panicked instinct to call out to him won out, and you let out what little breath you had in desperate cry, which only resulted in a cluster of silent bubbles escaping in front of your eyes.

You kept your eyes on the dark shape as it inched closer to you.

Not fast enough, was your last thought before the darkness pooling at the edge of your vision took over completely.

…

“No, no no, come on Y/N!” Dean panicked when he saw how still your form was when he laid you down on the dock. “Come on, breathe,” he began the process of CPR, and within several seconds you let out a hacking cough that released the water that had gotten into your system, before taking short, shallow breaths.

“Hey, hey it’s ok,” Dean sighed in relief, pulling you up to a sitting position and leaning you against his chest. “Breathe slowly, take a deep breath.”

Your hands clutched at him as you hyperventilated, tears springing to your eyes. The sobs that wracked your body only made breathing even harder, and the desperate wheezing that escaped your lips made Dean’s stomach knot with worry.

“Baby come on, you need to calm down. You need to breathe, ok?”

Your breathing began to slow gradually, but it was several long minutes before your sobs subsided. When they did, and you began to breathe evenly, Dean noticed that you were shivering. He immediately tugged off his coat and placed it around your shoulders, and you pulled it tightly around you.

Dean lifted you carefully into his arms and carried you to the Impala, Sam following behind him.

When he set you down in the back seat, you grabbed onto his arms to keep him from moving away.

“Hey,” he knelt down in front of your hunched form and placed a hand on your knee. “Baby, you’re safe now.”

You kept your grip on his arms, eyes locked on his.

“Ok,” he turned to look at Sam, “Would you drive? I’m gonna stay back here.”

Sam took Dean’s usual position in the drivers’ seat while Dean climbed into the back with you. You continued to shiver, huddling in on yourself.

“We’re gonna be there soon, and you can get warmed up,” Dean promised.

The rest of the ride was dead silent the whole way to the motel, and the silence continued on into the night. Eventually, you crawled into the bed you and Dean were sharing and settled down to sleep. You’d tugged on Dean’s arm, trying to get him to go with you, but he’d remained in his chair.

“I’m coming in a little bit, ok? Get some rest.”

…

You were drowning again. Water entered your nose and mouth, stinging your eyes and burning your lungs. You tried to swim up, but the cold iron grip on your leg pulled you lower, lower…

It was worse this time, because there was no dark figure reaching out for you. No Dean to save you.

He was gone; he left you. Like Sam. Like John.

And you were drowning.

“Y/N! Come on baby, I need you to wake up. Wake up!”

You jerked upright, gasping for air. The water was gone, the pain in your lungs with it.

“Hey, hey,” strong arms pulled you close, and the familiar scent of Dean’s cologne washed over you. You relaxed completely, breathing deeply to try to slow your racing heart. “You’re ok baby, it was just a dream.”

“Don’t go,” you fisted Dean’s shirt in your hands, leaning against him.

“What? I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Don’t go, don’t go…”

Dean pulled you into his lap, hugging you against him while you repeated the phrase over and over.

“Don’t go.”

“Dean?” Dean looked up at the sound of Sam’s voice.

“We’re ok,” Dean told him. “Just a nightmare.”

Sam swung his legs off his bed and came over to stand by Dean’s, leaning down to be closer to you.

“You ok sweetheart?”

You’d stopped your mantra, falling silent as you clung to your big brother. You nodded in response to Sam’s question.

“Do you wanna talk about your nightmare?” He asked. You shook your head.

“I think we’ll just stay like this for a little bit,” Dean directed this at both of his siblings, before looking at Sam. “I’m sure she’ll go back to sleep, we’re fine here.”

“Alright, well wake me if anything changes,” Sam relented, going back to his bed.

“Ok baby,” Dean spoke quietly to you, trying not to disturb Sam. He leaned back on the bed, taking you with him so that you were resting with your head on his chest. “Why don’t we try and get some sleep?”

“Don’t go away,” you whimpered, your eyes closed tightly. “Don’t leave me, don’t let-let me drown.”

“What?” Dean’s arms tightened subconsciously around you as he brought his hand up to cradle your head. “Baby I’m never gonna let anything happen to you, ever.”

“Don’t go,” you repeated.

“I won’t,” Dean accompanied his words with a gentle kiss to the side of your head. “Baby I’m not going anywhere, ever.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

You fell asleep not long after that, resting in your brother’s arms and trusting in his promise.

You didn’t have any more nightmares.

[kenananamin]

All I ask, All I want

SHIBUYA SPOILERS... KINDA.

*This story will slightly alter the events during and after Shibuya.

Summary: Nanami makes his way to you after Shibuya in a delirious state and crashes into your apartment with severe injuries. He cannot process his current state and shows you what he was always worried you would see. You question everything you thought you knew about him and you're anxious to ask him for the truth but worried if he'll even survive. post-shibuya angst, worried nanami and reader, angst, pain... i'm sorry. happy ending ~2.7k words

I'm almost there, she's right past this alleyway.

Nanami slowly walks to your apartment and leans on a parked car for support. He can't hold his head up for longer than a few seconds at a time, but he's memorized your neighborhood after patrolling it so often for any curses that might hurt you as a non-sorcerer. I'm almost there, she's waiting for me...

———

You hear your door handle clanking and slowly get up from your bed without making any extra unnecessary noise. You grab your phone and open Nanami's contact just in case you need to call and lower your head to the door's peep hole. You smile as you see the very top of a familiar blonde head and open your door, "Oh gosh, I was about to panic call you until I — "

Nanami crashes into your entryway and you fall back to the floor when you see him. You're in shock and it takes you a moment to realize there was a bleeding man with severe burns in your entryway... and that man was Nanami Kento. Your brain catches up with the scene in front of you and you let out a blood-curling scream as you crawl towards your boyfriend. He's laying flat on the floor by now and the rug underneath him starts to soak up the blood from his shredded and burned skin.

"Nanami! Fuck, what do I do?! Kento!! Oh my god, oh my god," you reach for your phone but pause as you're about to call for an ambulance. Nanami had mentioned weeks ago that you should call his... friend if he ever had an emergency. You didn't understand at the time but Nanami said it was just a precaution he wanted to take early on. You look for the contact and find 'G.S. Emergency'. No answer. You look for the second emergency contact 'K.I. Emergency'. No answer.

You look at Ken who's shallow breathing has filled every corner of your apartment and soul. You place the call on speaker and start to ramble to the operator while hiding the cleaver knife-like object in his hand.

———

You thought something was off when Nanami would look behind the both of you and excuse himself for a second in the middle of your dates. Or when he'd tell you to stand still and close your eyes. Or when he told you to get inside first and you heard light grunting and his fast steps outside your door before he breathlessly entered the apartment.

You thought something was off, but you could have never imagined this. Nanami lay in a hospital bed, wrapped in special bandages, but you guys weren't in a hospital. It was a clean and sterile room, but you could open the large window and see a horizon of lined traditional temples.

You push any other thoughts away and return to your spot next to Nanami and clasp your hands together. You weren't sure who you were praying to this whole time, but you hoped that someone out there, anyone, was listening and taking pity on you.

———

Nanami wakes up and feels like he's floating. He can't feel the bandages he clearly sees on himself and especially — you. You were sitting on a chair near the foot of his bed with your arms crossed on the bed, sleeping peacefully. This must be heaven. There was no other reason why you'd be in this room with him, in Jujutsu Tech. No wonder he felt like he was floating, this was the afterlife that was being blessed upon him to spend another moment with you. Fleeting moment or a permanent heaven, Nanami wanted to touch you again, hear your voice, and look into his favorite pair of eyes.

"y/n," Nanami squeezes out your name from his dry throat. He doesn't have the strength to move his leg and try to shift your arms so he keeps repeating your name and nicknames to wake you up.

You had fallen asleep for the first time in a while but you hear your name very very softly. You open your eyes and see half of Nanami's face moving. You sit up and see him smile, "y/n. Hi baby."

You shove the chair back and stand up to touch what you can of his face while repeatedly pushing the button on the side of the bed, "Hi Ken, don't move too much, ok? You need to rest first."

He lazily smiles, looks at you with a half-closed eye and slowly says, "Thank you for seeing me off. I love you, y/n." Nanami gently closes his eyes right as Shoko comes in and you see him drift off.

"I love you, Kento," you whisper and kiss his knuckles as you feel the tears prickling your eyes again.

———

Nanami was finally awake. He woke up to see you sleeping on a small couch by the window where the sunset lightly reflected off your skin. He thought he was dead and he'd spend the rest of eternity with you in that room and right as he was finding peace and comfort with the idea, his student walked into the room with a tray of food and water.

"Na— Nanamin?" Yuji stared at his teacher and leaned out the door to scream for Shoko to hurry in.

Nanami starts to shush him and his previous thoughts of being in the afterlife shattered. There was relief to know he was alive, but his panic slowly started setting in when he wondered why you were in the room and just how much you knew.

Yuji and Shoko rush in and he can hear questions being asked and hands touching him to check on him, but he interrupts them without looking away from your sleeping figure, "Why is she here?" Nanami looks at them both, "What does she know?"

Yuji sits on the chair that Nanami had seen you in before and quietly starts to explain that he had left Shibuya after fighting Jogo. Nobody knew where Nanami was and some people believed they should look for his body only instead, predicting he'd be dead. Yuji shares that everything was shattered and hectic but they received a call to rush to a local hospital.

Shoko continues as Yuji grabs some new bandages, "Our van got to the hospital at the same time as the ambulance. y/n told them she was your wife to avoid any resistance in going with you and started fighting us when we wanted to take you. That was when I realized that she didn't know anything about us, about this world. She cried and begged to let the hospital take care of you, that only they would know what to do."

Nanami looks over to you and wishes your back was not turned to him so that he could see your face.

"We brought her with us too and let her stay in the room for everything so that she could see we would not hurt you," Shoko pauses in removing Nanami's bandage and whispers, "Nanami, you should tell her. Everything or just something — anything. She has not left the room since we brought you and she won't listen to any explanation from anyone. y/n said she'll wait for you and will only listen to your explanation."

Nanami rubs his eye and begins to wonder how to even start the conversation with you. This, this was exactly what he wanted to prevent. He tried to stay away from you so that you'd never find out about anything he did, he covered his tracks and continued his cover-story of being a salaryman. But even with all his efforts, he was drawn to you like a moth to a flame and was prepared to let himself drown in everything about you.

Nanami glances to his student who's sadly looking at your sleeping figure before turning to nod to Shoko.

"You know Shoko," Nanami takes a deep breath and turns back to you, "she was the only thing on my mind after Jogo. I walked passed some of the most gruesome scenes I have ever seen in my time as a sorcerer, but I could only think about how much longer I had, about how long I could extend my final breaths to see her one last time. I wanted her face to be the last thing I saw."

———

It's nighttime when you stir awake. The couch was too small to comfortably sleep but your exhausted body was willing to pass out anywhere. You shift to look towards the hospital bed to check on Nanami but you find an empty bed with the covers neatly organized. You start to kick your blanket off to hurry out and quietly whisper no, no, no, please, no when you feel a hand on your foot.

You flinch at the touch but squint your eyes to see Nanami sitting on a chair next to the couch and looking out the window. You look over his body to check that he's still wrapped in his bandages. Nanami sees your eyes travel over his body and moves his hand from your foot to pull the robe over his chest to cover what has begun to scar.

Your eyes well up with tears to see him sitting next to you — alive. You move to the edge of the couch closest to Nanami and hold his hand. "Everything," you move one hand to his chest, touching the part he just tried to cover and leaving your hand over his heart to feel the beating. "You tell me everything right now."

Nanami starts from the beginning. He explains what it was like being born to a non-sorcerer family and the fear he would feel as a child when he'd see things no one else could. He describes what it was like to find out there were more like him and being admitted to Jujutsu High. He talks about his classmates, the work that's required, how the curses look and what the process is to exorcise them, a young man named Haibara, a sister school in Kyoto, the levels to the curses and sorcerers, and the weapons sometimes used.

The last part reminds you of the cleaver-like object and you tell Nanami you hid what he was holding. "I wasn't sure what it was, but whatever it was, I felt like nobody else should see it to avoid more questions to the already suspicious scene. The paramedics already thought I was crazy once they got there and saw your body.."

Nanami nods and let's you ask any questions you have about the Jujutsu world. You both lose track of the time and Nanami notices the sky start to turn into different shades of blue with an orange strip on the horizon by the time you ask what you've been holding all night, "Are... will you.... do you have to go back?"

Nanami looks back at you but you're holding his hand with your head down, waiting, perhaps dreading, his answer. "With how things are now, I think I might. I'm not much help right now but with time I ca—"

Your sob interrupts him and you lean your head down further to cry. He tries to scoot closer to you but a sharp pain in his torso stops him. He rubs your hand with his thumb instead and gently shushes you not to cry.

You stand from the couch, right in front of Nanami and start to fall to your knees. He realizes what you are about to do and leans forward to grab your arm to stop you, but you swat his weak grip away and continue into a deep bow.

"y/n, please. Baby, please stand up, please don't."

You cry and let your forehead touch the floor, "Nanami Kento, I am begging you to stop. Please stop being a sorcerer and please leave this world with me. You have taken enough punches and bruises, you don't have to stay in the ring. Tap out and let someone else tap in." Your quiet tears turn into sobs towards the end of your pleading.

You hear Nanami's voice start to shake above you, "Darling, please —"

You interrupt him and sit up to scoot to hold his knees close to your chest, "Tap me in, let me help you, Ken please. Let me protect you, I swear that I will protect you now."

You feel guilty bowing as you are. You are asking this man to leave what he knows, but you don't know what else to do. You have never felt such fear after seeing so much of his body burnt and his breath so shallow. You would bow to anyone for a chance to save his life. You would bow to him and plead him to save himself with this second chance.

"Don't fight anymore. Stay only as a teacher if you want but put that blade away. Don't leave these walls and the protection they offer. This is as much as I will compromise. I do not want you out there regardless of the danger levels. But better yet — please, let me take care of you. Stop fighting and working, follow me out of these halls and I'll do anything for you, I swear it."

Nanami's tears start to fall and he looks down at you gripping at his thighs in desperation.

"Kids..." you continue to ramble, "We can have kids if you want, we can move somewhere far and finally have our kids. You can convert a whole room into your library, you'll have an infinite amount of books and time to yourself to do anything you'd like. I'll make you all your favorite meals and listen to everything you have to say, even open a bakery if you want to try! I'll wear that wedding dress you have a photo saved of on your phone, even do a traditional wedding if you want to. I'll do it all and more, Ken, just please —" You knew your face was drenched and contorting to match your desperate pleas. "I'm begging you, please.."

Nanami reaches out to touch your cheek and a sob escapes his lips. It's the only time you've both cried this way in front of each other.

Yuji is sitting in the hallway by the room door and listens to the desperate rambling. He had been sitting there since he passed by and heard Nanami talking about his adolescence. He knew it wasn't right, but he just wanted to listen to Nanami speak for a while after the overwhelming anxiety of thinking he was dead and possibly not hearing him again.

Yuji stands, steps inside the room and clears his throat, "Nanamin? I — I think she's right. You should go. I can find you if we need help, but we'll be ok," he pauses to walk halfway into the room, "I think you should step out... and maybe have those kids?" the young boy smiles a bit at the thought of young kids running around his usually stoic teacher and calling him dad.

"Nanamin, Jujutsu High will be ok. And you have someone else to worry about now." Yuuji looks down to Nanami's lap where your head is laying on his thighs, weeping and thinking of more ways to beg him. The young boy smiles, "I've got it from here."

Nanami believes his student... and nods. He looks down at the crying woman whose sobs have their whole body shaking. He fights against the sharp pains around his body and leans down as far as he can to hug you. It is not the strong embrace you are used to from Nanami, but a light envelop that warms and calms your deepest fears.

———

Walking out of Jujutsu Tech, Nanami stops and introduces a few of the people he mentioned in his life story to you. He does not introduce you as his girlfriend (which was technically your title at that moment) but as his wife. You widen your eyes the first time he says it but he just smiles down at you and says, "You started using it first, now it's my turn. But I promise to properly ask you soon."

Yuji, Shoko, and Ino follow you both to the bottom of the stairs to say goodbye. You give them your number so that they have another place to reach Nanami and Yuji gladly takes the number with the promise of checking in soon. Nanami lightly pulls you away to finally leave but pauses before taking another step.

You hold Nanami's hand as he looks back to the school one last time. The place that showed him real pain and heartbreak, but also gave him a place to feel like he was making a difference. The place that held so many memories as both a student and teacher. The place that nearly broke him, but gave him the space to heal to return back to you. You rub his hand with both of yours and say, "All I ask is that you are happy, alive, and safe."

Nanami looks back at you with relief covering his features and guilt covering yours while you keep your head down. He gently rubs his thumb on your hand, "All I want is to follow you." You look up and he moves his hand to your face, "I promise, all I want is you."

You nod and lean to kiss him once softly. You wrap your arm around Nanami's torso and he wraps his arm around your shoulders. You motion for him to lean on you as he walks and for the first time in a long long time, he takes the offer to lean on someone else.

Yuji watches from the entrance path of the school as you both turn to leave the premises. He cups his hands around his mouth and yells, "Nanamin, y/n! I'll visit when I can! Read a few mangas for meeee!"

a/n: I saw paramore this summer and their music has been on repeat the whole year. 'all i wanted' is def gonna be in my top wrapped songs and it def reminds me of nanami every. single. time.

[ophidianoccultist]

Admittance

Sebastian Sallow x F!Reader

18+ MDNI

Tags: first time, cluelessness, p in v, some angst if you squint?, interruption, oral (f receiving), choking/leash?

Word Count: 8.3k

"Ah, there you are." Sebastian said.

His face bore the usual composed smile, and his short, brown, curly hair remained tousled atop his head. Freckles dotted his cheeks, while his deep brown eyes exuded arrogance and confidence. Y/N looked up from her Herbology book at her best friend, Sebastian. The two had been friends since their fifth year, and here they were now, going to gradute this year.

Sebastian looked tired and a tad sweaty, appearing as if he had run down every flight of stairs in the whole of Hogwarts. And apparently, he had been searching for her. And here she was in the library, studying for her Herbology exam. Why had he not thought to look here first?

"Are you alright? You look dreadful."

Y/N bookmarked her page and closed the textbook, looking up at her freckled friend.

"I've been trying to find you," he said, his voice tinged with exhaustion. He sat in the seat next to her, looking somewhat dejected and out of place.

"I have something very important to tell you."

His deep brown eyes gazed intently into Y/N's, his expression a strange mix of nervousness and confidence. Her brows furrowed slightly at the urgency in his voice. Oh Merlin, had he been out on some ludicrous errand again?

"Yes, I'm listening. What is it, Seb?"

She turned her body to face him, giving him her full attention. Sebastian took a deep breath and looked down for a moment, before meeting Y/N's eyes and finally saying the words he had rehearsed in his head over and over again.

"Y/N, I've been meaning to tell you this for a very, very long time. Since fifth year, in fact. But I could never find the courage..."

He seemed to be struggling to keep his emotions in check, and his voice was shaking slightly.

"...I'm in love with you."

Both of their faces flushed a deep shade of crimson as she stared at him with a dazed expression. No... He doesn't really like me, right? Did someone put him up to this?

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me."

He was quiet for a moment, the silence broken only by his shallow breathing. His gaze remained locked on Y/N's, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and fear, like a soldier preparing for battle. After a few moments of painful tension, he spoke again:

"I know we've been friends for a while," he said, "but I was too shy to express my feelings before. Maybe I still am."

He paused again, looking for some response from Y/N. She blinked a few times before she actually processed his words, and then she flushed a deep cherry red. This wasn't a joke, she knew he would never play around with her feelings like that. Sebastian was silly, sure, but he's not mean.

"O-Oh, well... I, um..."

Her hands started fiddling with the collar of her shirt as she always did when she was nervous.

"Look, if you don't feel the same way, that's..."

His voice trailed off, his expression now a mixture of embarrassment and hope.

"It's fine, I would understand..."

After a long pause, he finished his thought.

"But I was too scared to say anything before. And I know I should've probably just kept those feelings to myself, but I couldn't help it."

He looked down again and took a deep breath, waiting for Y/N's answer. It was now or never, she had to tell him. The anger in her was quickly rising though; why did he have to admit this now of all times? She had felt this way about him for ages, and thought he didn't see her the same way.

"Sebastian, why didn't you tell me earlier on? Right when I start to move on, you come out with this and make me confused all over again."

Y/N's voice raised a little, but her tone was more exasperated than accusatory. Sebastian looked surprised at her forcefulness, her words a total shock to him.

"Wait, you've...you've liked me?" he asked.

He could feel his heart leaping in his chest.

"I thought you were already over me..."

His voice was filled with both hope and confusion.

"Are you not?"

"Not completely, I still have feelings for you, but..."

All Y/N would like to do at this very moment is just have a Graphorn bite her head off. It was hard telling him this, but he needed to know...

"I've already begun pursuing someone else? We aren't together, just flirting, but that's the situation."

A wave of sadness washed over Sebastian's face as he listened to her words.

"Oh... I understand."

His voice was quiet and somber, his gaze cast down towards his feet.

"I-I hope you'll be happy, Y/N."

He was clearly devastated, but his tone remained calm and collected. He paused for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek before looking back up at her.

"But what if it doesn't work out...?"

A sigh escaped Y/N's lips, not enjoying being put on the spot like this.

"Sebastian, I don't know who to pursue now. I really like you, but I'm beginning to really like him too. I just..."

Y/N trailed off, burying her face in her hands, wanting to simply disappear and not have this conversation at all. Yet Sebastian reached out and gently took her hands in his own all the same, rubbing her palms with his thumbs in an effort to comfort her.

"Look at me," he said.

He tilted Y/N's head up so that he could look at her eyes.

"Please listen. We've known each other since fifth year; we like the same things, we're best friends... I know you think you like...him, but if you could be with the one you already know and trust, wouldn't you choose that over some new fling?"

He paused for a few seconds, contemplating his next words carefully. He felt emasculated and slightly manipulative saying these things, but as he looked into her eyes, all of those feelings were put on the back burner.

"Please... choose me."

"Can we speak somewhere a little more private? I always feel listened to in here, and not in the good way..."

Her eyes met the bright green eyes of Garreth Weasley, who was the boy she had been pursuing. He shot her a silly smile laced with worry, and it was all she could do to not giggle at him. Y/N turned back to Sebastian and asked:

"We could go to the Undercroft? Or the Room of Requirement? So we can discuss this?"

"Yes, of course."

He squeezed her hand and gave it a little kiss before letting go. Sebastian rose from his seat and held out his hand, gesturing for Y/N to take it.

"Shall we go?"

Hesitantly, she grabbed a hold of his wrist and allowed him to lead her to wherever he was taking her.

"Of course, lead the way."

Even though she was wary of the conversation, Y/N felt a little warmth spread through her body upon touching him. All of the blood rushed to her face as he held her hand and she took a real look at him. Sure, he was cute in his fifth year, but over the past couple of years, he had grown taller so he nearly towered over her. He had filled out a lot better as well, and she could confidently say that he looked handsome. Sebastian slowly led Y/N out of the library, turning to face her as they headed down the corridor. He smiled warmly at her, his amber eyes shining with a glimmer of hope. Sebastian looked back behing him where Y/N was trailing along and took note of her increased height and curves, the flush of her cheeks, and the way her hair moved in the light breeze.

Y/N was far more attractive than she had been at the start of fifth year, and Sebastian's feelings for her were only growing as they headed towards their destination. After a bit of walking and a couple of flights of stairs, they soon found themselves at the Undercroft, which was the place the both of them and Ominis went when they needed to be alone. Although now that she was cured, Anne joined them down there too at times. The gate closed behind them, and Y/N sat down on the slightly dusty sofa in the cold stone room.

"So..."

Sebastian sat down beside her, looking her in the eyes.

"Yeah. So..."

Y/N could see the faint sparkle of tears in his eyes. Sebastian was clearly on the edge, and he felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"Look, I know you like the other guy. But the truth is, I don't know if I can handle watching you spend that kind of time with him."

He paused for a moment to take a breath and get his thoughts properly aligned, then continued.

"All that time spent together... I don't just want you as my friend."

An uncomfortable and heavy silence weighed over the pair like a cold, wet blanket. It was only Y/N's words that cut through it.

"I feel the same way about you, Sebastian."

Bravely, she scooted a bit closer to him, their knees brushing together, and she noticed Sebastian tense up at the miniscule touch. Just how much did he really feel for her? Sebastian drew in a sharp breath as he felt her body brush against his own. He was speechless for a moment, trying desperately to process his own emotions and feelings.

"You... you like me?"

Sebastian's head was whirring with questions and he felt confused.

"But what about Garreth... I mean, I saw you together... "

"Let me deal with Garreth, okay? I'll wean him off the flirting, we haven't even admitted any feelings to each other, we were only flirtatious. He's sweet and a good friend, and I don't want to lose him."

Y/N took a deep breath as she saw Sebastian's eyes darken at her calling Garreth 'sweet'.

"Look, I want to make this work between us. I really do like you, Seb, and I have for ages..."

Her head settled on his left shoulder and she grabbed his hand in both of hers, the tangle of them resting on her right thigh. Sebastian was taken aback when Y/N placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped her hands around his. Her actions gave him the sudden urge to pull her close and kiss her right then and there. He felt overwhelmed by a wave of emotions and sensations, trying his best to keep his composure. He looked over, their faces only inches apart.

"Then what's stopping us...?"

Y/N could feel the rapid beating of his heart, his deep breaths brushing against the skin of her neck each time he leabed in to whisper into her ear. He cleared his throat and continued:

"What are we waiting for?"

"I..."

A proper sentence or even syllable couldn't even escape her lips. After all, Sebastian was right. What was stopping them from giving in to each other? Yet Y/N was still hesitant. She'd only ever kissed one person, but that was Leander Prewett in their second year; it was awkward and only lasted a moment or two.

Her head rose from his shoulder to stare back into his beautiful brown eyes. It would only take a slight push to close the gap between them, with how close they were to each other. Y/N parted her lips slightly, waiting for him to move in and close the gap for her. Sebastian held her gaze for what seemed like an eternity. His heart was racing so fast, he thought it would jump out of his chest altogether. He knew he shouldn't hesitate, but for some reason he felt scared, like a diricawl in a poacher's crosshairs. He took a deep breath, gathered all of his courage, and finally did it.

He moved his face towards Y/N's in one smooth motion and kissed her. It wasn't a peck on the cheeks or on the lips, but a full on kiss, filled with passion and emotion. That kiss was all Y/N needed to break down her inhibitions. Sebastian's lips were soft and slightly chapped, but the way they moved so well against her own, you'd think he had done this a thousand times before. One of her hands pried away from his to rest on his cheek, smooth and smattered with freckles. Her thumb stroked his face softly, but her whole body froze as his tongue grazed her lower lip. Sebastian's heart almost leapt out of his chest as his tongue was allowed to enter the equation. The soft caress of Y/N's thumb on his face and the heat building between their bodies felt amazing, and he desperately wanted more. He wanted to be touched, to be loved physically, to seal their feelings for each other with such an intimate act.

He slipped his arm behind Y/N's back and slowly pulled her closer, his tongue slowly caressing her lower lip once more before finally entering and tasting her mouth. His hands caressed the small of her back and he could feel his body heat up as they kissed.

"Oh..." he moaned quietly before continuing to kiss her passionately. Sebastian's mouth tasted like tea and mint, and it was intoxicating to her. His tongue explored her mouth, somewhat clumsily from inexperience. But as his hand found her hip, Y/N felt lightning jolt throughout her body, as if she had just had a hearty gulp of Pepper-Up Potion.

The chilly tension in the air was soon replaced with a hot and more pleasant tension. Sebastian's arms around her made her absolutely melt, and she hadn't felt a rush quite like this before. Sebastian's body was simply radiating with lust and desire. His hands roamed her body, squeezing her rear and sliding down her back to caress her hips. Every kiss was more passionate than the last, and he began to moan more and more between their kisses. He felt light-headed and dizzy, and the way his lover's soft lips caressing his body in the dim, dusty room was so much better than how he had imagined it nearly every night for two years.

"I love you, Y/N."

A low groan escaped her throat at the feeling of him getting more handsy with her. She could feel in her soul that he really wanted her, he needed her. On impulse, she laid her legs over his lap; but soon after, she felt him hungrily grab her by the hips and lift her to straddle him instead. For a brief moment, though, sense overrode the near drunkenness she felt from his touch. Y/N broke away from the kiss for a moment, slightly panting.

"Sebastian...what if Ominis or Anne come in here? What if they interrupt us?"

Sebastian stopped his movements and froze when she asked the question. He hadn't thought of that...

...they hadn't even locked the door.

Before he could say anything, however, a faint knock came from the other side of the door. Y/N cursed herself for speaking this situation into existence.

"Y/N... Sebastian... is everything alright in there?"

It was Anne. Her voice was quiet and uncertain, but it was clear that she was worried things were going south. Sebastian told her that he was going to confess, and she just wanted to make sure everything went well. Y/N's eyes clenched shut and she let out a small groan to herself, although she was screaming bloody murder in her head. She exchanged a desperate glance with Sebastian before she rose from her place on his lap and made her way to the door. Sebastian's face, however, seemed to go white as he adjusted his trousers. The door opened to Anne Sallow, who was a bit taller and looked healthier now that she was rid of her curse. She shot her friend a faint smile which Y/N returned.

"Hey Anne, everything's fine. Seb and I are just having a discussion."

The flushed faces and general disarray, however, seemed to suggest that it was more than a 'discussion'. Anne's eyes widened when she saw the flushed faces and disheveled clothing as she peeked around the room. She could clearly tell what had been happening in the Undercroft, and she felt very awkward about it.

"Riiight... a discussion. How nice," she said awkwardly.

She glanced over at Sebastian, noticing the look he was giving her, something between a plea and a death glare. She cleared her throat and spoke again, very disturbed at this point.

"So, um... shall I give you two some privacy? Do you want a few minutes to resume your...discussion?"

"If you don't mind. I'm sorry, Anne, but we have a lot to discuss, so we might need a while. Please don't tell Ominis?"

Her voice cracked and she got fidgety from the embarrassment, and second-hand embarrassment from Anne. Y/N could only imagine how awkward it was for her to see her brother in such a state with her best friend. They both stood there for a moment, still as statues, as Sebastian crossed his legs in an attempt to cover himself. Anne nodded her head quickly, her face still a bit red.

"Right! I'll... I'll be in the library then."

She turned around and hurried out of the Undercroft, closing the door behind her. Sebastian could feel his face flush even more than it already was. He sat in silence, his thoughts filled with embarrassment and shame. He looked over at his lover, his eyes pleading with her to speak, to say something that would break the awkward mood. The shade of red that spread across her face was so intense, she thought that maybe her hair would also turn bright Weasley red. Y/N took a deep breath and then promptly spoke:

"It's okay. It's fine, let's just..."

After locking the door with a wave of her wand, she sat back down on the squashy sofa next to Sebastian once more, looking him in the eyes. Her hand rested on his cheek and she turned his head to look at her.

"Focus on me, okay? Let's not think about her right now..."

Her other hand grazed his thigh, making him tense up. Sebastian felt his body heat up as she touched him. It seemed as if he forgot his sister even existed, judging by the way his breath hitched and his muscles tensed. He was so sensitive, and all he needed now was release.

"Oh..." he moaned quietly, his eyes wandering downwards to her hips as she sat back on his lap. He looked back up at Y/N's face, absorbing every single feature on it, as if this were the last time he would ever see her again.

"It's so hard to think clearly when I look at you..."

Her voice was sweet and calming, and her eyes were piercing and beautiful. Her words managed to break the tension ever so slightly.

"Please, I... I need you..." he pleaded as a blush spread across his cheeks again. Her eyes gazed into his with a suble intensity coming from the both of them. Y/N could almost feel the heat radiating from his body, and her own body was soaking it in.

"Yes?"

Her voice was almost a whisper, as the sight before her was breathtaking. Sebastian took a deep breath, taking in Y/N's enchanting beauty before he spoke. The thoughts going through his head at that very moment could have made a whore blush.

"I need you, you know...in the sense that..."

He looked down at his lap where Allana was sitting, thinking for a moment. He was confused by his own words...he was never one to beg or submit to others, right? But then again, he couldn't deny how much of an influence her presence had on him and how his mind and thoughts were always clouded by thoughts of her.

"I love you. I always thought it was just lust, but there's so much more..."

This time, Y/N didn't even need to think about her words before she spoke:

"I love you too, Sebastian. And if you feel the same, then show me. Make me feel what you feel for me."

Her hand found his, and placed it on her thigh, her gaze never breaking from his. At this point, Y/N was completely drunk on love and desire for Sebastian. Garreth Weasley was put completely out of her mind now; all she needed or wanted now was Sebastian Sallow.

Her lips collided with his once more, needing to taste him again. The second their lips melted into each other, his hands were on her again, travelling over her body. Y/N placed one hand on the back of his neck, and the other grabbed his tie to pull him closer to her. Sebastian's heart seemed to skip a beat as she placed his hands on her thighs. He felt like he could drown in her gorgeous eyes and he knew that he had to make her feel what she made him feel.

As her soft lips touched his, his mind was filled with a rush of pleasure and his body trembled with joy. His hands ran through her hair, caressing her body with every movement. Y/N's lips tasted sweet and he wanted more...the feeling of her on his body was addicting and he couldn't hold back any longer. Their lips danced together, as if it just came so naturally to the both of them. Once more, Sebastian grabbed hold of her hips and rear, shifting them a bit so he could gain some pleasure from the friction. Underneath her, Y/N could feel the bulge in his pants, and it get her even more excited.

"Sebastian..."

Her voice was almost a squeak, like a bunny rabbit, as his name escaped her lips. Her body was so warm now, and the layers she was wearing made her sweat a bit. Sebastian was less dressed than she was, already without his robe and blazer from running around earlier, but she tugged at his shirt all the same. Sebastian felt a rush of pure pleasure as he witnessed and felt just how eager she was. His tongue continued to dance with her lips, exploring her mouth like it was a new continent. His heart was beating so fast that he could hardly stand it for a moment, but when Y/N began to tug at his shirt and move his hand down to her rear, his breathing quickened and his mind went blank.

He looked at her, his eyes reassuring her that she was doing the right thing. It was so surreal seeing the girl he had fantasized about sitting on his lap, so close and intimate. Y/N ceased her movements and pulled away from their passionate kiss to look at him seriously, but her eyes and her voice were still dripping with a sultry desire.

"Sebastian...are you sure about this? Are you ready? It's okay if you aren't..."

That last statement was laced with a subtle disappointment, however, which betrayed her real thoughts. Sebastian sighed, taking deep and careful breaths as he looked back at his lover.

"Y/N..." he said, his voice quivering a bit. "I'm... I'm sure."

He looked away for a moment, thinking about his next words carefully.

"... I'm more than ready."

He could feel his face flush with embarrassment as he said this. The confirmation from Sebastian was all Y/N needed to go all in. In mere seconds, her lips were on his once more, and her hips were now harshly grinding against his. He groaned into the kiss from the friction against the ever growing tent in his trousers. Sebastian was practically melting beneath her, and she was loving every second of it.

Y/N lazily shrugged her robes off of her shoulders, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Soon after that, her hands fumbled to undo Sebastian's tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. Something so simple as Y/N's robes falling to the floor almost sent him over the edge. Her hips grinding against him, her lips pressed against his. The scent of her, her skin, the feeling of her warm thighs against his trousers. It was more than he could bear.

As Y/N's hands fumbled with his tie, he began helping her. He unbuttoned his shirt quickly and pulled it off in the same motion. When the shirt fell to the floor beside her robes, Y/N could see Sebastian's muscular frame in the light of the candles, his hair still mussed up from their intense making out session. The sight before her made her almost drool, but Y/N didn't allow herself to stop now. Quickly, she pulled back to remove her tie and vest and skirt; but as she worked to unbutton her blouse, Sebastian's hand grabbed her wrist and deigned to work on the buttons himself.

Both of their faces grew hotter and redder, as if it was just now dawning on them what they were doing. Sebastian began to work on the buttons of Y/N's blouse slowly. Although it was taking some time without him using magic, fumbling a bit from nerves, it was still an intimate activity to do together. As the blouse slid off of Y/N's shoulders, Sebastian's eyes trailed down her body, the sound of his breaths quickly filling the room as his own excitement rose.

"Darling..."

Sebastian whispered, almost in awe of the beauty in front of him. He felt her skin, it was so smooth and soft, so warm. His body was almost shaking in anticipation of what was to come next. While his lover was smaller in frame, Sebastian was more toned. Not exactly muscular, but still a bit broad, and his chest was covered in the same freckles that decorated his face, and especially concentrated around his shoulders. As her eyes trailed down though, she noticed the outline of his pelvis and the ever so small line of hair that led down to his crotch. It was all Y/N could do not to rip his trousers off of him, but she thought it was better to savor the moment.

Slowly, she reached behind her back to unlace her corset and let it fall to the floor with her robes, leaving her only in her thin cotton chemise. And then her fingers traveled to his trousers, removing his belt and undoing the buttons on them. Y/N's touch set each of Sebastian's senses ablaze. He could feel the smooth fabric of her chemise, the lace on her corset before it fell to the floor. When he felt her fingers undo the buttons on his trousers, his heart seemed to skip a beat. He let out a soft moan as he felt her gently caress him, and when the trousers fell to the floor beside his shirt, it became clear just how excited and eager he was.

He looked at Y/N once more, hoping that she would take the next step... The only thing between them now was her thin chemise and his undershorts. Their breathing was stilted and uneven, since they were both holding back their primal desire to just claw at each other. Wait a minute... Why am I holding back?

Sebastian and Y/N both exchanged an intense look, wordlessly agreeing to not hold anything back. He seemed to understand, as his lips crashed into hers yet again, but then they moved down her jaw to her neck, leaving small bites along the way. His hands grabbed at her body, trailing up under her chemise to grab at the soft bare flesh of her ass.

Y/N's hands, however, palmed at the bulge in Sebastian's shorts, earning a low groan from him at his own sensitivity. Sebastian's heart practically skipped a beat as he swallowed Y/N's moans through their locked lips. Her voice was like honey in his ears as he kissed her fiercely. The feeling of her hands and lips on his body drove him wild, especially so when her hands reached for him under his shorts.

His own hands went back to her body, exploring her curves underneath her chemise. This was something that they had both wanted for so long and he couldn't believe that he was finally giving it to her and herself.

"Y/N..." Sebastian moaned, biting the side of her neck.

"Sebastian... Do you want to take charge?"

She punctuated her question with a small bite to his earlobe, and Sebastian took no time in flipping them over to where he was on top of her. His hands unbuttoned the top of her chemise with a clumsy fervor, and he quickly pulled it off of her body.

Y/N was now left completely bare underneath him, save for her stockings. Sebastian pulled back from her neck to absorb the sight before him with his eyes. It was everything he had fantasized about and more. Y/N stared back at him before muttering out nervously:

"Is everything okay? You're staring, do you not like it...?"

Sebastian looked at the object of all his desires, her breathtaking body and her precious face. He couldn't believe that she was his, that she was finally in his arms. He smiled, looking down at her, admiring her beauty.

"Y/N...." Sebastian murmured. "What would possibly make you think that I don't like it? You are everything I have ever wanted. I'm just...amazed by you, that's all."

He looked at her body, his eyes traveling along her curves, taking in every inch of her. He leaned down and gave her another kiss, his hands still exploring the shape of her body. This kiss was warmer and a bit less hungry than the others, and his hands were less rough. He was comforting with his touches, making sure she felt completely comfortable and loved. He was tender and needy at once, and Y/N loved him for it. It reassured her that this isn't the only thing he wants from her.

His hands settled on her chest, kneading and massaging at the mounds of flesh. It was here Y/N could tell how inexperienced Sebastian was, but at least he was trying. He was experimenting with different things to see what she enjoyed. When his thumbs grazed her sensitive buds though, he knew he had figured out something she liked, and that filled him with a bit of pride and confidence. Sebastian was so focused on Y/N's reactions, her sounds of pleasure and her body that it almost took him out of the moment. Seeing her react to his touch filled him with pride and joy.

"Is that good, darling?" he asked gently, slowing his movements. "Should I continue? Do you want me to?"

Sebastian was almost breathing heavy, his heart beating so fast that it felt as though it was about to burst. All he wanted was to hear his lover's soft voice telling him to continue.

"Please..."

Was all Y/N could croak out as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She made every effort to try and steady her breathing as Sebastian tried pleasuring her. During his excursions to the adult section in the Hogsmeade library, Sebastian had read a few of the more saucy romance novels, and attempted to do the things he read about. Because otherwise, he was completely clueless. He knew well enough how to pleasure himself, but to pleasure a woman: that was something foreign. From what he read, he decided to be bold and lean down to run his tongue over her chest, flicking his tongue at the sensitive bud. This got a gasp from Y/N as her eyes fluttered shut, and he took that as a sign to keep going.

"Never stop, Sebastian."

She mewled out at him. With every movement of his tongue, she could feel the growing heat and wetness in her core. Sebastian took extra care to make sure both breasts got an equal amount of love. After a while, he pulled away to look down at her chest. Her buds were now stiff and red from his affection. He took this as a sign to continue with something else. His hand now trailed down her stomach and nestled down at the short bit of hair between her thighs. Sebastian could almost feel the heat radiating from her core, and according to what he read, this was a good thing. Y/N's breathing was ragged and fast as Sebastian explored her nakedness with his hands. She was almost panting as he traced his fingers over her skin, moving slowly down toward her slick slit.

In that moment, Sebastian began to realize how perfect and beautiful Y/N's body was. He could feel her soft and plump legs against his waist as he kissed and licked her thighs. He made sure to touch her in many different areas to see her reactions and find her sweet spots. From what he was doing, Y/N found out that she was particularly sensitive to him biting her inner thighs, which made her let out soft moans. Sebastian had slid down to where his head hovered between her thighs.

His eyes were dripping with lust, but behind that, he was just as clueless as she was about any of this. Sebastian remembered a certain part of his saucy novels that he found quite strange, but he wanted to try. Y/N felt his lips graze against her core, planting a chaste kiss on her sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Sebastian, what are you doing? Isn't it supposed to be you...in me?"

Y/N asked awkwardly. Sebastian chuckled and pulled back to look at her; her innocence and her confusion was so adorable to him. He gently pushed her knees apart as he nestled his head once more between her thighs. His eyes trailed over every inch of her skin as his fingers trailed over her wetness.

Without looking at her, Sebastian replied simply, "I want to taste you, darling. I want you to enjoy this...as much as I am."

Y/N knew somewhat about how sex was supposed to go, but she had never heard about using your mouth on someone. But all the same, it made her shudder and purr when he experimentally licked a long stripe between her folds.

"Merlin's beard, that feels nice... Where did you learn all this?"

Sebastian gave a warm smile, a smile that said 'just trust me'. He was careful to not be too rough, to not go too fast. Y/N was delicate and innocent, he couldn't be too aggressive. Instead, Sebastian focused on pleasing her, on her pleasure, on her reactions.

Sebastian kept it up, licking and exploring. Y/N's words did nothing but add to his lust and desire. This was her body, he could do what he wanted with it, and that made him feel amazing. And it looked as though his lover's pleasure was increasing as well. As Sebastian licked and sucked and even bit sometimes at her sensitive region, the more she felt that familiar knot tighten in her abdomen. Y/N had pleasured herself sometimes during late nights in the Room of Requirement where she had complete privacy, but it was nothing like what Sebastian was doing to her. Her breathing quickened and her hips instinctively ground against his tongue, needing more of his touch. He took the hint and she felt his finger find her entrance, pushing in.

"S-Sebastian, I..."

Sebastian was almost shaking with excitement. This was real...this was the moment that he had been waiting for. And it was so perfect... Y/N's body, her moans, her lustful breath and her expressions... He was loving every moment of this. He pulled back for a moment, looking at her.

"Y/N, would you like me to continue?" Sebastian asked, his voice almost a whisper.

He felt a rush of adrenaline as he looked at Y/N, as if his body was preparing to release everything that it has in it. Her words were stuck in her throat, so she only looked up at him and nodded fervently. On instinct, Y/N brought her knees up to her chest to give Sebastian easier access as he unlaced his shorts. Soon, his length sprung free and stood proud before her, making her eyes widen.

"Merlin, I don't think that's going to go in.."

Sebastian chuckled, and his expression become a warm and tender as he leaned down and gave his love another kiss. The feeling of her soft lips, combined with her sweet and innocent demeanor, was melting his heart.

"Shhh... trust me, Y/N." He whispered.

Sebastian's hand came to rest upon her cheek, and he leaned down onto her once more as he slowly entered her. Even though he took it really slow, Y/N's face still twisted up in pain. She had never put anything in there before, so Sebastian's thickness was especially painful for her. Once he was fully sheathed, he kept still, letting her adjust.

"T-That hurts..."

A tear formed in her eye and her body scrunched up a little. Sebastian could see the tears in her eyes and that made him feel terrible.

"Darling, I'm sorry." He whispered.

He kept still to give her time to adjust, but he was anxious to continue. He just wanted to please her. He gave her a loving kiss on her cheek, letting her know that he still cared.

"Just keep breathing." Sebastian murmured. "Just relax."

Y/N nodded and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths. Slowly, she felt her insides relaxing and opening up more, and the pain grew lesser.

"You can move..."

Her voice was nearly a whisper as she opened her eyes to look at him once more. Sebastian started to move back and forth, slowly and gently. He was careful not to hurt Y/N, making sure to go at her pace and never force her.

"How does that feel, darling?" he whispered.

With every time he pushed in, she felt tingles ripple through her body. It was nice, even though the size of him still hurt a little.

"That feels lovely, Sebastian... Have you done this before?"

That last question sounded anxious, desperate for him to say no. Sebastian hesitated for a second before he spoke.

"No, actually, I've never done this before." He said softly. "Honestly, my heart is racing right now. In a good way, my love."

He slowed his movements to a stop, not able to speak for a moment. He was so focused on Y/N and the way her body felt, and all his anxiousness was washed away by his desire to make her feel good. Noticing that he stopped, Y/N moved her hips against his and opened her legs up more to reassure him that he was doing well, and that she wanted this.

"I've never done this either, but I've thought about us doing it a lot."

She paused, and looked deep in thought for a moment.

"Could you do something for me? It's just something I've pictured..."

Sebastian's heartbeat quickened at her words. "Yes, of course, my love. What do you want me to do?"

Sebastian was curious as to what Y/N wanted. Her thoughts, her feelings -- these were things he had wondered about. And to finally, be able to do exactly what she asked of him... his heart raced in excitement.

"Uhm...could you..."

Y/N looked incredibly nervous and a little ashamed as the words wouldn't exit her throat. Instead, she picked his tie up off of the floor and tied it tightly around her neck, handing him the long end nervously. Sebastian was taken aback. He understood where this was going, but he was still somewhat speechless.

"Are you sure...?" he asked softly, his voice gentle and calm as he took the end of the tie from her hands. "I... I could never do anything you don't want me to do, Y/N."

His breath was ragged as he looked down at her, noticing that her eyes were closed, almost as if in anticipation for his answer.

"I'm sure, just...pull it. Whenever you like."

She bit her lip and looked off to the side, feeling a bit dirty for requesting such a thing, especially for their first time. But on the other hand, she was incredibly eager for him to act out her fantasies with her. Sebastian looked back at his lover, a nervous smile on his face...and then, slowly, he began to pull as his hips snapped against hers once more. He took in her expression and her body's reaction. She seemed to get more excited the tighter he pulled it. His heart pumped faster in his chest, his breathing faster, and he closed his eyes to experience the moment.

He could feel that Y/N was very close to her release and he continued to pull, his mind in a daze. It was as if he was in his own little world, completely oblivious to anything and anyone else but her. As Sebastian started moving in and out of her once again, her gaze met his once more. Her eyelids were heavy and her breath was hot, just as she always had been while in her bed when she pleasured herself as she thought about him. Soon, he sped up with his movements, his length massaging her walls. The hand that wasn't holding the tie rested on her breast, kneading it and thumbing at her sensitive bud. Y/N's moans grew steadily louder and her legs wrapped around his waist once again, pulling him closer to her.

"Sebastian, I... I love you..."

A harsher wave of pleasure washed over Sebastian. He was overwhelmed with emotion, with love, with affection, as his body moved in tune to Y/N's. Her words washed over him like a warm embrace, wrapping him in a blanket of passion as she pulled him closer. Their lips met in a soft and tender kiss as Sebastian moved even faster, his breath hot and his mind lost in the thrill and enjoyment of the moment. He had never felt this way before... His heart was beating out of his chest and his body was shaking with emotion. He felt like he could cry and laugh at the same time. After their admission of love to each other, Sebastian's pace rapidly increased and he got rougher with her, the both of them overcome with need. The sound of skin slapping on skin reverberated throughout the Undercroft, and only added to their arousal.

Sebastian leaned down to Y/N's neck and left a harsh bite, chewing and sucking at her soft skin to leave a bruise. The hand that was on her breast traveled down to her abdomen, feeling her stomach bulge up slightly every time he pushed in. Sebastian's kisses got more passionate as he got rougher with Y/N. His hands went exploring as he looked for somewhere to leave his mark on her. He sucked aggressively at her neck, biting into her flesh and marking her with his lips so that everyone could know who she belongs to.

His free hand trailed lower and lower until he managed to find the spot that he was looking for. The feeling of his teeth grinding into her skin and his cock quickly pushing in and out of her sent Y/N into absolute overdrive. It didn't take long at all for her to melt into a panting, moaning mess underneath Sebastian. Her hands grabbed at his shoulders and back, leaving long claw marks that would definitely last a few days. That oh-so familiar knot started tightening in her stomach, and she knew she was close to her release.

"Mm, Sebastian, I... I-I'm gonna..."

Sebastian's heart was pounding out of his chest at this point. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were almost glazed over. He could picture those claw marks that would be left on his body and his mind was filled with a fiery excitement.

"Yes, my love, let it out." He whispered, his voice low with lust. "Give into it, darling."

The pure obsession and desire that laced Sebastian's voice was all she needed to reach her breaking point. Y/N's body seized up, her back arched, and she let out a long, loud squeal as her walls clamped around his length. Sebastian felt Y/N's insides gripping him tightly and his body started shaking violently. He felt every last bit of his release and it was more than he could've ever imagined it being.

"Y/N..." He groaned, his eyes rolling back from pleasure. He was out of breath, his heart pumping like crazy.

"That...oh my gods..." he muttered. He could feel her claws digging into his flesh even harder.

"That was so good." He sighed.

Y/N purred at the feeling of his fluids painting her insides, and as soon as he stopped, she relaxed and looked up at him with so much love and need that it made his heart melt. Sebastian soon laid on top of her out of exhaustion, his head resting on her chest. Sebastian kept his body tight against Y/N's, feeling safe and content. His chest rose and fell quickly - he could feel his heart still pounding in his ears.

Slowly, he turned his head to look at her face. He wanted to remember every detail about this moment: every feature on her face, every single expression that she made. He smiled softly as his eyes drifted lower and he traced one of the scratches she had left on his arm with his fingers.

"That...was amazing." He whispered.

"You are amazing, Sebastian."

Y/N smiled warmly at him and played with his messy hair, some of which now stuck to his face from how sweaty they were. And when he smiled back at her...she nearly fell in love with him all over again. The way his freckles looked, the way his eyes smiled as well...it was absolutely precious.

"And you are absolutely beautiful, Y/N."

Sebastian's breath was coming in warm puffs as he looked into her eyes. He felt a surge of emotion and was tempted to give her another kiss.

"I'm so in love with you, Y/N." He whispered, softly tracing her cheek with his fingertips.

"And to think... I almost didn't meet you tonight." She was so special to him; without her, he might not have known what love truly is.

"I'm glad that we're together..."

"I want us to be together. Officially. I want everyone to know."

Sebastian said, a grin spreading across his face and a fire roaring in his eyes. His head rested on her chest once more as they both just basked the afterglow. That was, until they came back to the reality that the Undercroft got particularly cold in the wintertime. The pair sat up and stretched a bit before Y/N spoke:

"Maybe we should get dressed and go let Anne know we aren't dead."

"Oh, I forgot we were in here." Sebastian replied, nodding as he noticed that it was cold.

"Alright then." He stood up and reached down to help her up. "Let me give you a kiss first, before we go back to looking respectable, darling."

He bent down, meeting her lips with his own as his hands gripped her hips. Once he had finished, all that was left was a red mark on Y/N's neck -- it would have certainly given away their activities. Y/N giggled, knowing that she had equally marked him by clawing his back. The two quickly pulled their clothes back on and made themselves presentable once again.

"Oh Merlin, I've never felt like this before."

She couldn't resist pulling Sebastian into a tight hug before the two exited the Undercroft. Sebastian sighed, still reeling from the experience, trying to make sense of the feelings he had.

"Nor have I." Sebastian replied, looking down at Y/N with loving eyes. "I wish I knew how I could make you feel this way all the time."

When the two reentered the Dark Arts tower, their faces were flushed and their hair was still disheveled. They knew it was late, due to the now golden light pouring through the large windows, but neither of them really cared at that moment. They had each other's love, and that was all that mattered. And to Sebastian, it was definitely worth running a marathon around the halls of Hogwarts for.

=====♡=====

maybe a part 2 if yall want, idk?

[mama-emeritus-i]

You're My Sacrifice (Frater Imperator!Copia X Reader)

Frater Imperator!Copia X Reader Smut

SPOILERS FOR RITE HERE RITE NOW. KEEP SCROLLING IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT. Dude... Dude... I originally wrote this for Terzo but I knew I had to make this Frater Imperator after seeing the movie. Rite Here Rite Now made me feral, so enjoy. I'm going to hell in gasoline underwear for writing this.

Warnings: This is blasphemous and sacreligious... like seriously. Improper use of ritual oils, altar smut, Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) but I think that's the least of your worries in this one, glove kink, I didn't proofread this (if, I, do, then, it, would, look, like, this), plot if you squint with 20/20 vision

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T TELL YOU

"Copia, where are we going? Isn't it a little late for chapel?" While you two had been friends since childhood, this all started right before Copia's ascension to "Frater Imperator"- a tangled dance of more then friends but not anything with a label yet. He was usually very gentle, never trying to adventure outside your bedroom, so it was a surprise when the young Frater took you aside after dinner, leading you through the darkened hallway, towards the chapel.

You heard Copia mutter a small "Forgive me" under his breath as he continues to lead out through the center of the room. The stained glass murals and old oil painting sit there, illuminated by the moonlight, staring at you- as if they knew what was going to happen.

You both walk up the shallow steps, stopping before the altar set up behind the podium. Copia steps behind you, placing his leather clad gloves on your shoulders as you hear his voice, just above a whisper.

"Do you know what this is, Caro? Its an altar... My altar and tonight you are going to be my sacrifice... if you are alright with that, that is?" his voice was rough, and filled with lust and something utterly debauched. You nod, before placing your hands on the altar, feeling the silk cloth under you fingers. Behind you, Copia admired the sight before him, inhaling sharply as you arched your back.

After a moment, he finally speaks, "Very Caro, but not good enough... yet." You felt Copia's hand on the small of your back, guiding you to bend over the altar. He gently took your wrists in his free hand, guiding them above your head and resting them on the teal cloth.

He moves away for what feels like forever, leaving you in this vulnerable position. Anyone could just walk in at any moment, and see how the great Frater Imperator was going to defile you as a sacrifice, in a way that made satan himself turn his head. The thought of it made desire pool and your face flush red.

When Copia returned, after just a few moments, he held a cinture in his gloved hand. You can almost feel the small smirk that tugs at the edge of his lips as he sees you exactly how he left you. Before you could truly process what was about to happen, Copia made quick work of knotting the rope around your wrists and hands. Despite how incredibly intimate this whole situation was, he was handling you like glass, as if you were going to break if he was too rough with you. He muttered something to himself before gently kissing your cheek, his now free hands sliding under the rope to ensure that it would be comfortable for you.

Copia's body felt like it was on fire, and only you were able to tamp out the flames, need engulfed every inch of his skin, and the only way to douse this fire was to sink into his sacrifice. Sure, he has had flings and the occasional relationship, but with you it was different. You made him feel whole.

Everything in him is telling him that is wrong, that he should just go back to his duties, and continue as he always had, but he doesn't. He can't.

The Frater Imperator stepped back to admire his work, the way your arms look all stretched forward and bound, almost like fresh caught prey. The way your black heels dig into the carpet; the way your ass was on perfect display for him, and him alone. When he lifts the hem of your dress, you felt his gloves against your skin, exposing you to the cold of the chapel.

My... My... this shows quite a lot caro mia, do you know how much?" You turn your head to look at the man before you, watching as he slides his gloves off, exposing his hands. His eyes were blown out with lust, his focus on you.

"I know, I can feel the air on me, Frater." Copia knelt down behind you, chucking slightly as he notes that your dress does indeed just cover what it was supposed to. However he also notes how the smallest lift or breeze would expose your soaked core to him.

His finger gently ran through your still clothed slit, before eventually cupping your core, it was hot and swollen against his skin, and it took Copia all of his willpower to not absolutely ruin you.

"I... it feels wrong to say this, but I want to be rough with you tonight, I want everyone to know you're mine, but you need to tell me Caro, is that alright?" Always the gentleman to check up on you, even when he was so intoxicated by you, his nerves feeling like they were vibrating.

"Please... Copia, be rough. Leave marks, show everyone that I am yours." You barely finish the sentence before you feel a kiss on the back of your neck, then a loud smack against your ass, before a gentle hand runs across to soothe you. You feel something warm and liquid against you as Copia dropped some of the ritual oil into his hands, rubbing it across your ass and legs- anywhere he could reach you.

"Stand up and turn around" His voice was gentle as he helped you move back up to your feet and turn towards him. The look on your face was enough to send Copia to hell right then and there, your look of absolute bliss and need. His swim in his mind of everything he wants to do to you.

Copia kneels down again, making work of the white ropes on your wrists, before taking them in his hands, gently kissing your wrists and hands. He then moved one hand up to your dress, slowly unzipping it and letting it pool on the floor with the now forgotten rope, before quickly taking your panties off and letting them join the fabric puddle.

One hand still clasped in yours, Copia takes a minute to stare at you, like you were the first rain of a drought or like you were Aphrodite herself. You help him remove his clothes, slowly removing the clips and jacket, followed by the top, and after a bit of struggle-the pants (he has to jump into those things, let me real).

Usually he stays relatively covered during sex, as the past few months have not been kind to him, but you can't take your eyes off of the new Frater Imperator in all of his glory. He pulls you into a kiss, his lips were a bit swollen, but so giving and soft. You feel him groan into your mouth as he tried to claim your mouth with his tongue.

His hands never leave your body, moving from your breasts, to your waist, hips, wherever he could find purchase against you. You only move away when you can't catch your breath any longer. Copia helped you sit up on the altar, motioning for you to lie back on the table.

The altar was long enough to fit you comfortable, with room to spare. Copia's hands travelled across your stomach as he moved towards the back, facing the pews as he used to do every Friday morning. A kiss behind your ear before he slowly runs his lips across your jaw, and down your neck, leaving a small trail of black face paint, your back arching to meet him at the gentle touches.

His gentle touches were like a breath of fresh air, and you were both reveling in every minute of it. Once he reached the bottom of the table, he moved your legs apart, biting the inside of your thighs.

He circles every inch of your core with his tongue, wanting nothing more then to stay between your thighs forever, eventually moving to pay attention to your breasts. Kneading, sucking, and biting like a man starved and the only thing that could satiate him was your skin. He didn't stop until you were moving against him, almost writhing there.

Eventually you feel his hand move down to your soaked core, feeling it drip onto the cloth below you. Copia slowly inserted two fingers into you, and you could swear he was enjoying the feeling of feeling you more then you were enjoying the feeling of him curving his fingers into you, trying to find the spongy spot inside of you.

He was groping and squeezing you in the most debauched and feral way, his slow and calm demeanor slowly starting to wilt, feeding on your sighs and small noises. After many weeks of sex, he knew your body ques, ever the observant man- halting his movements, and removing his hand when you were nearing your tipping point.

The noises of frustration that left your lips made Copia harder then he can remember ever being. You can tell he wasn't fully thinking straight, as he climbs up on the altar table with you, kneeling between your legs. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to find a way to pieces his words and thoughts together.

"You are absolutely divine... This..." Copia took a deep breath, lining up his cok against you, pressing against your entrance, "this is your body..." he leans down, sweeping you up in a kiss as he plunges inside of you, breaking it soon after- letting out a breath "that is you, that you gave to me."

He was patient, waiting as you got used to the stretch, Copia knew how to use what he was given so even after all this time, it felt like getting the wink knocked out of you as he buried deep inside you. Copia on the other hand, was worried that he was going to fall apart and cum right then and there, feeling you clench against him- trying to adjust.

Once you nodded, giving the all clear, he pulled out, reaching down and rubbing your clit, feeling as you grip onto his cock like a vice. He starts off slow, trying to gage how you feel... until you start pushing back against him.

"please... be rough with me. I need it, I need you, Copia." You slide your arms around him, pulling yourself to whisper in his ear, "I want you to fall apart the same way I fall apart for you... I know that's what you want, Frater Imperator." With a groan to test out the waters, Copia all but slammed himself into you, as you feel the primal and hot need climb up your spine.

"Forgive me..." You hear Copia mutter as he fully lays over you, holding himself up with his arms, effectively pinning you down. He moved into you over and over again, knocking the breath from your lungs each time. Even if he wanted to, Copia could not stop- the way your velvet walls hugged him made him feral, and the whimpers and moans from you were not helping.

He could see the ritual oils against your skin, the smell of lavender and tigers blood reminding him just how debauched this is. The sounds of slapping and moans filled the empty chapel, as the portraits and stained glass of the windows looked down on them.

You spit out incoherent sentences, and it was making Copia's mind foggy "close... so close, only for you Copia... please". He continued to try and thrust deeper into you, kissing you deep and furious, as if he was worshipping you. After one particularly hard thrust against your G-spot you snapped, writhing and bucking against the table, your nails leaving claw marks across Copia's back and shoulders. Watching you fall apart under him, Copia wasn't far behind, spilling into you soon after.

You both just laid there for a while, Copia pulling out, watching his spent spill onto the table below you, not leaving back to your rooms until the wee hours of the morning.

"Amen..." you mutter as you both lay there in total bliss.

[woso-fan13]

Whumptober 2023: 1 (Arsenal)

No. 1: “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.”

Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

You had laughed at the viral video of Sam hip checking a pitch invader, the move being such a classic Sam move that you didn’t even think about the possibility that something bad could have happened. It seemed so unlikely that someone would manage to make it past security, onto the pitch, and then over to the players just to harm one of them. 

But it happened. It was the 86th minute and you had just assisted Beth with an absolute banger. You were resting your hands on your head, not paying attention as you tried to force air back into your lungs before the game restarted. 

You weren’t paying attention to much of what was happening, only noticing when you heard multiple players- teammates and opponents alike- shouting your name in a panic. You looked up to see a very large- very scary- man charging towards you. You did what most teenage girls would do in your position and froze. 

He rams into you, knocking the two of you to the ground forcefully. His tackle was definitely more American football style than the type of football you usually played. 

You lay on the ground, this man who is easily a foot taller than you and double your weight crushing you. You can’t scream, can’t move, you’re just paralyzed with fear. 

In a recurring theme, Sam Kerr decides to handle the situation herself. You can finally take a breath- shallow and shuddering- as you watch your opponent pull this beast of a man off of you and stand over him. Your panicked eyes manage to find security, making their way over, but that’s the last thing you see before you’re enveloped into a hug and your vision is obscured by someone’s body. 

Viv. Viv was safe. So you latched on to Viv, your fingers gripping into her jersey as you shoved your face into her neck. You were spiraling and Viv was your safety net. 

The next little while is a blur, but you remember getting taken to the side of the pitch. When Viv tried to push you into someone else’s hold, you freaked out. Sobbing, you clung tighter to her, begging her not to leave. Leah was shocked that you wouldn’t move into her embrace, she knew that you trusted her. Trying to help you out, she unlatches your hands and tries to pull you into her arms. 

You become dead weight, sobs breaking through your hyperventilation. Jonas took pity on you, telling Viv she could be subbed out to stay with you. The woman quickly picked you up off the ground, carrying you back through the tunnel and into the locker room. 

She sat on the bench in front of your locker, cradling you in her lap. She rocked gently, speaking quietly to you in Dutch. You couldn’t understand her, but the process and the soothing tone calmed you and you were able to regain control of your breathing. Even as your sobs slowed and eventually stopped, Viv kept up the calming repetition. By the time you had finally calmed down enough that Viv was no longer afraid that you were going to make yourself sick, you were slumped into her, your exhaustion clear. 

Explaining everything to you before she makes any move, Viv manages to rinse you off in a shower and get you dressed in a sweatsuit. She has you sitting in between her legs as she brushes your hair out when the locker room door opens. 

It was quiet, something that was a rarity for the team. Everyone was in shock still, the previous events having shaken everyone up. You huddled closer to Viv as everyone entered. Realistically, you knew that they would never hurt you- the whole team had become older sisters to you. But still, the nagging thought in the back of your mind was that he might be there, coming for you. 

Everyone’s gaze was sympathetic as they looked at you, giving you a wide berth. You sat still for the next while, watching as everyone went to shower and put on clean clothes. No one approached you until Viv gestured to Leah and Beth to come over. The two women walked slowly, not wanting to spook you. Beth moves to sit next to Viv and Leah crouches in front of you. You can hear Viv whispering something to Beth, but you can’t make out what she’s saying. 

“Schatje,” Viv says, getting your attention, “I need to go shower. You’re going to stay right here with Beth and Leah, and I will be back as soon as I can.”

Partway through her sentence- when you realized that she would be leaving- you turned your body enough to cling to her again. You wiggle as close as you can to her, tears beginning to flow again. 

“I know it’s going to be hard, but you’re going to be okay. I just need 10 minutes, I can leave a timer on my phone. After that, you’re coming home with Beth and I and we can cuddle for the rest of the night,” Viv had hoped that the promise of a quick reunification and snuggles would be enough to convince you to let go. 

It wasn’t. You began sobbing harder, your cries becoming more frantic as you felt someone else rest a hand on your back. You squirmed, trying to get away from the other person while staying as close to Viv as you possibly could. Your panic only heightened when you heard Beth whisper, “just go,” to Viv. 

You began hyperventilating, pleading with Viv to stay between breaths. She couldn’t leave, you needed her. 

You felt her shift under you, and you felt another pair of arms wrap around you from the back. It was awkward, but you were transferred into Beth’s arms, your back to her chest. Her grip around you was tight, her hug keeping your arms down at your side. 

You’re fully panicking at this point, and it only increases when you see Viv stand up and walk away. As soon as the door shuts behind her, you become inconsolable. 

Leah resumes her position in front of you, very carefully moving her hands towards you. She makes sure that you see her, that you’re aware of her presence, before she puts her hands on either side of your face. Still, you flinch. 

She angles your head so that you’re looking directly at her, panic also evident in her eyes. This was a situation that no one had seen before, the team’s happy-go-lucky little sister was broken. 

“You’re alright, Love, you’re going to be okay. Viv’ll be back as soon as she can, and then we’ll get you home. No one in this room is going to let anything else happen to you, you’re safe,” Leah continues to speak calmly and reassuringly to you, still holding your head so you’re forced to look at her. 

Your eyes are wide, frantically searching the room for any possible threats. After about five minutes of Leah reassuring you and Beth holding you tightly, you finally make eye contact with Leah. Both women breathe a sigh of relief. It might be small, but it’s an improvement. 

A few minutes after that, your breathing becomes somewhat more controlled. You’re sobbing and your breath is hitching as you choke and cough around your sobs, trying to catch your breath. But you weren’t actively having a panic attack, which, again, is an improvement. 

Leah, feeling bold, moves one hand to smooth back your hair. When she feels you lean every so slightly into the touch, she continues stroking your hair. You were coming back to them, albeit slowly. 

You’re so distracted by looking at Leah as she guides you through your breathing that you don’t notice the door open. You’re not even aware as a figure approaches, fully trusting Leah and Beth to keep you safe. You only notice as this person sits beside you and rests a hand on your leg. 

Viv. Viv is safe. Again, you throw yourself at her, almost knocking her off the bench. The only difference this time is that your legs are still in Beth’s lap, and Leah still had a hand resting on the back of your head. 

Viv hugs you tightly. She would never admit it, but she hadn’t wanted to separate from you either. Realistically, she knew you were safe and that you would be okay with your teammates. But, still, a little part of her didn’t want to let go and give anything else the chance to hurt you. She could feel your hands gripping into her shirt, clutching like you were afraid she would disappear. She held you just as tightly. 

After you have calmed down from your reunification, Beth and Leah slowly remove themselves. The three women hear as you whimper slightly at the loss, Beth and Leah having to hold back smiles. Instead, they gather all of their belongings, shoving them into bags as quickly as they can. Beth grabs Viv’s bag and Leah grabs yours, and the two return to you in about a minute. 

It would take some time, but the three women would eventually coax you out to the car, Viv settling in the back seat with you. The other two sat in the front, almost constantly staring back at you in the mirror. 

The drive was short, and you pulled up to a familiar house. Viv steps out of the car, pulling you into her arms. The simple act of getting you away from the stadium had allowed you to calm considerably, and you were no longer crying. Your breathing was steady and slow, your eyes blinking heavily as both physical and emotional exhaustion consumed you. But you knew you were going to be taken inside and snuggled between all of the women. Everyone already knew that Leah would be staying, the woman already having invited herself over. And tomorrow, though you didn’t know it, the rest of the team would be showing up with breakfast. With your support system, you would be okay. 

[hanbinics]

speaking about crybaby!reader can you do crybaby!reader and drug dealer!chris helping her calm down while having a panic attack..?

you knew that paper hadn't been your best work. anxiety had riddled your entire being the moment you hit submit, mostly fearful of the grade you'd end up with. you didn't even think of the fact that your professor might be disappointed—that he might confront you about it.

his downturned mouth and heavy tone flash through your scattered thoughts—i expect more from you—and though you manage to hold it together the entire time he's berating you, you're falling apart at the very seams by the time you make it back to chris's apartment.

you couldn't even make it to your boyfriend's bedroom, each step feeling incredibly heavy until you all but collapse onto the couch, sinking into the cushions with the hope that they might swallow you whole. the tears that had pooled in your eyes all the way back in your lecture hall spill over now in warm, silent streams. you stay just like that, your arms wrapped around your knees tucked in tight at your chest, until chris walks through the door.

he's shaking off the cold from the late october air when he takes in the sight of you, a shiver running down his spine that has nothing to do with the chill. his eyebrows draw together as he watches you cry silently on his couch, the only sound in the room being the soft hitch of your breath between quiet sobs that rack your frame. a beat passes as he processes your eerily panicked state before he's crossing the living room floor and bending down in front of you, confusion and worry etched into his features.

"hey.. hey, what's goin' on, petal?" his voice is steady, calm, but there's no mistaking the concern just underneath his question as he watches your gaze shift to him, only short, shallow breaths leaving your mouth. he can see the panic behind your pretty eyes, and the sight causes a painful pang in his chest as he takes your wrists into his hands, drawing them towards him.

"slow down, baby, s'okay, yeah?" he insists quietly, his voice dropping an octave in an attempt to calm you down, to ease that panic tainting your pretty features. "jus' gotta breathe with me, okay? nice and slow, just like this." he makes a show of breathing in deep, and then releasing it slowly, gaze locked on you and the way you try to mimic him. it takes a few minutes of repeating the process, but when he sees your chest begin to rise and fall in the same rhythm as his own, the tremble to your lower lip beginning to slow, a ghost of a smile tilts the corners of his mouth.

"there you go, sweetheart—just like that," he praises you softly, his right thumb rubbing soft circles into the inside of your wrist. he waits until you've blown out another slow exhale before he tries again, "y'wanna tell me what's goin' on now?" he asks, waiting patiently as you attempt to form an answer without your voice shaking. when you shake your head, he's about to insist that it's okay, that you can talk about it later, but then you're swallowing, and he waits a beat longer.

"my paper wasn't..." you trail off for a moment, your voice barely above a whisper. your red-rimmed eyes threaten more tears, but you manage to keep them at bay. "my professor said it wasn't good enough... that if i can't handle the course work, maybe i should switch majors." your voice cracks at the end, and chris watches as you inhale sharply to keep any more emotions from spilling out. his thumb presses a little more firmly into your wrist, feeling your heavy pulse as his mouth turns downwards.

"y'know that's bullshit, right?" he asks in a breathy scoff, something hot and sharp stinging his chest at the thought of anyone putting you down. "you're smarter than half the fuckin' people i know."

he watches as you face crumples with insecurity. "but what if—"

"nah, kid, don't start," he cuts you off immediately, shaking his head. "don't start with that shit. you're gonna pass that class with the best fuckin' grade in there, 'kay?" his blue eyes are firm as they remain locked on you, waiting until you nod your head slowly before he's relaxing slightly, mouth twitching into a small smirk.

"and, uh, if not... y'can always drop out and sell drugs with me." he grins when your whine turns into soft giggles, leaning in to press a soothing kiss to your wrist as he commits the image of you smiling to memory.

a/n. sorry this took a while, but i hope you enjoyed it. <3

[green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle]

NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN (oneshot)

Aventurine x ex girlfriend!reader

He would gamble his own life before ever risking your relationship but his dangerous job forced him to give you up, shattering both of your hearts in the process. Months later Sigonian notices you on one of the boujee parties he got invited to as an IPC representative. Motivated by yearning and alcohol in his veins Aventurine tries his luck in love again. ANGST,SUGGESTIVE

general masterlist

Aventurine was always a little bit fed up with those expensive parties thrown by his business partners, lavish ballroom filled with pathetic people living with no purpose besides endless consumption, each of them raised in conditions he could only dream of as a child, staring at him with curiosity. Hoping that he will make a mistake, prove them he is still a lowlife they take him for despite all those privileges he now enjoyed as a high ranking IPC member. But tonight he sincerely did not care about any of this, barely acknowledging the noise around him. 

He sipped on a drink more pricey than lifetime supply of food for his whole clan would be, giving out charming smiles that never reached his devoid of emotions, outstanding eyes to greedy leaches sitting alongside him at the poker table. Seemingly interested in shallow exchange of blows disguised as jokes and witty remarks young man looked around not expecting anything positive out of this meeting, maybe except meaningless material gains he forced himself to care about for the sake of keeping up his Aventurine persona.  

Then he noticed elegant woman standing alone near the entrance. Fingers adorned with precious rings clenched around the glass, almost shattering it in desperate attempt to conceal how much his hands started to shake at the sight of familiar face. He thought he imagined it at first, but his broken heart wasn't playing tricks on him. Aventurine would recognize your face even after centuries, every detail of it carved into his mind, into his soul. Long, green dress tightly hugged your figure, enhancing every curve he loved to caress so much. It was really you. Just as beautiful as the day he broke your heart, five months ago. The day he saw you for the last time. 

*** 

- Why are you doing this to me? To us? After all this time? - tears dripped down your cheeks, you were choking on your sobs. Aventurine wanted to hold you, make you feel like everything will be alright, but he knew what he needed to do to keep you safe. 

- Y/n, there is nothing to talk about, stop making this so hard. I never loved you in the first place, I just needed some distraction from my work. - he was always a great liar. You seemed to believe him and he thanked Aeons for it, despite how much it hurt him to see you in pain. It's the only way to make sure they won't touch you. - It was funny to play house with you for two years but that joke got old. You no longer entertain me.  

You looked into his eyes, begging for this to be a cruel prank, searching for any crumbs of love in his eyes, but they were cool and calculated. Speaking to him when he put on his poker face felt like talking to a wall. Despair slowly turned into hatred in you heart, it's fire kept you warm in spite of your ex boyfriend's cold attitude.  

- I hate you. I hate you so fucking much. I can't blame you for being a shameless liar, you told me that's who you are at the beginning. I should've trusted you when you showed me your true colors. I don't even want you to apologize, I played myself investing my love in you. Now get lost Vasha. - nickname once spoken tenderly now felt like a slap to Aventurine. How do you tell somebody in front of whom you bared your soul that they were only a toy to you?  

He spared you the rest of monologue he prepared and went outside with all his belongings packed in three suitcases. He glanced at the door of your shared place for the last time and whispered to himself. 

- In another universe I can be just your Kakavasha, kiss your face every morning after I wake up by your side and hold you every night, love you the way you deserve to be loved, make you proud of me. Protect you with my own strong arms and build our future with them. But Aventurine can't afford such luxury, not at your expense. Not if it can cost your life. 

***  

Just thinking about how he treated you made him want to punch himself in the face. He tried to reason with himself. Back then his position in Stonehearts was endangered after he risked his Cornerstone during the mission in Penacony.  If he lost all his power opponents he got during his work in IPC would go straight after you and he wouldn't be able to fight them off. Aventurine secured his rank and influences by now, as soon as he did that he got rid of enemies to make sure he will never feel this incapable of protecting those dear to him. Such as you. 

Aventurine knew he should not hope for rekindling of your love, not after all those terrible things he has said and done, but could you blame him? All his life nothing really belonged to him, nothing but your heart you so willingly gave to him. Even money he bargained with were only borrowed from IPC, just like his new name, dignity and life. Not to mention his whole new personality, attitude worn as a mask grew so deep into him it felt like a second face. Kakavasha was a different man, the kind that knew what was really important and what was not.  

One not impressed by money or political circus, instead wanting to protect and provide for those close to him, more down to earth and proud than Aventurine could ever be with all his wealth and victories. The one who stood in silence when the lights were gone, the one who observed emotionless when his fate was debated by the rest of the Stonehearts, the one who put his own body as a shield between his friends and dangers of battle.  

There was not much those two men caged together in one body had in common, with few exceptions. Both had iron will and ambition forged in hellfire they went through in this lifetime, both were aware that even with all the luck in the universe their destiny was inherently unjust and both knew they will love you till death returns Kakavasha's tired soul to his family and Gaiathra Triclops in afterlife.  

Alcohol circulated in his veins, clouding his mind and soothing his fears. He excused himself not caring about worried glances his coworkers sent him and rushed towards you on slightly wobbling legs, passing self-important gentlemen and overdressed ladies. Concentrated on getting to you as fast as possible he didn't plan on what to say so once your eyes crossed he just froze in place. At first your eyes widened in pure shock but right away hatred took over. Aventurine inhaled sharply when your brows furrowed and jaw clenched. He wasn't used to irritated glances from you, you were always so gentle with him. His mouth got dry. 

- Long time no see, dear. - your voice was more collected than you expected it to be. Sometimes you imagined meeting him again but even in your dreams you were never this calm and over him. So time truly does heal wounds. - I have no idea why do you think you can just approach me out of nowhere after what you did to me, but I won't let you waste any more of my time after you stole years of my life with your empty promises. So please, hurry up.  

- So cold, huh? - Aventurine awkwardly attempted to laugh his anxiety off. - I know I must come off as a complete jerk but please, listen to me. Back then... I... I don't know how to explain that. 

- Maybe for once just say the truth if you even know how to be sincere. - you scoffed. - Simply say it like it is.  

- I was one bad day away from losing my job and I needed to make sure you won't get hurt in the process.  

You raised one of your eyebrows.  

- So you can only love me when you are on the top of the world but as soon as problems emerge I am a burden to discard? - you rolled your eyes.  

- Don't say that... It's not like that. - he hid his left hand behind his back, toying with one of the poker chips he always carried around. - If they kicked me out all kinds of sick people who prayed for my downfall would go after me. None of them would miss the opportunity to hurt me even more by harming you.  

- If that's what you say... - you seemed unbothered.  

- What do you mean by that? - Avgin curved his lips in confusion. 

- How can I be sure you aren't lying? That wouldn't be the first time it seems. - you chuckled sadly.  

- Please don't use that against me, I had no choice... - before he had a chance to explain further you interrupted. 

- Why should I believe you? Not to mention at this point it wouldn't change anything. - you looked away. - Not after all this time. 

- How could I let you know it was a bluff if you cut me off completely? I couldn't find you anywhere, I tried for weeks. You moved out and blocked me. - Sigonian's voice broke when he choked on repressed emotions, wondering if you even listened to him, your expression not showing any sign of interest. 

- I don't care anymore. If you really wanted to you would find a way. - you shrugged. 

Before he could mention how he overused his political influence and still could not find a single trace of you black haired male approached you both with glass of wine. Aventurine sized him up, tall and well build man had a reserved and cool aura, Avgin could feel hidden power radiate from that guy, as if he had a beast under his skin. Something about the way dark-haired male looked at you made his stomach turn. 

- I brought the drink you wanted. Are you ok? Who's that man? - mysterious guy asked you, concerned by your uncomfortable body language. He had a deep, melodic voice but spoke in monotone way. 

- I should ask the same thing. - Aventurine did his best to sound intimidating. - You guys know each other? - he turned his gaze back to you. 

- Yes, it's my coworker, Dan Heng. We grew really close lately. - you smiled at that strange, tall man. Sigonian stopped himself from asking just how close the two of you were. - Thank you for a chance to catch up Aventurine, but you see, I'm very busy right now. I promised to introduce my... friend to a few people. 

You gave him venomous smile when Dan Heng put his arm around your waist protectively and pulled you away from your ex. Aventurine hated the way you let that guy touch you. Did you allow him even more in private? Did you let him do things Avgin used to do? Does that other man know how beautiful you look with messy hair and no make up, with flushed cheeks and tears of pleasure in your eyes? Do you sing for him the way you did for Aventurine every night? Does he wear your marks on his back? Gambler preferred not to know, but whether Dan Heng already took his place by your side or was yet working on it, he was sure of one thing.  

- It's not over yet. - Aventurine muttered, clenching his left fist till he heard a poker chip breaking in half. 

[arminreindl]

Pachycetinae: The Thick Whales

Oh look I'm way behind not only on my work with wikipedia but also in regards to summarizing it on tumblr. Good thing, three of the pages I've worked on these past few months can just be summed up in one post because they are all one family.

So Pachycetinae, at the most basic level, are basilosaurid archaeocetes, the group that famously includes Basilosaurus and Dorudon. Reason I've picked up the articles in addition to my usual croc work, basically a friend and I noticed how lacklustre many pages are and stupidly decided to start revising all of Cetacea (pray for me).

Currently theres two genera within the group. Pachycetus aka Platyosphys aka Basilotritus, which is a whole mess I will get into at the end for those interested, and Antaecetus, which I'll just call "the good one" for now. Among those are three species. Pachycetus paulsonii (or Basilotritus uheni) from continental Europe (Germany and Ukraine mostly), Pachycetus wardii (Eastern United Staates) and Antaecetus aithai (Morocco and Egypt)

Picture: Pachycetus and Antaecetus by Connor Ashbridge

So the hallmark of Pachycetines, as the name would suggest, is the fact that their skeletons are notably denser than that of other basilosaurids. The vertebrae, the most abundant material of these whales, are described as pachyostatic and osteosclerotic. The former effecitvely means that the dense cortical bone forms thickened layers, while the latter means that the cortical bone, already forming thickened layers, is furthermore denser than in other basilosaurids with less porosities. The densitiy is increased further by how the ribs attack to the vertebrae not through sinovial articulation but through cartilage, so adding even more weight to them. Overall this is at times compared to manatees, famous for their dense skeletons.

Pictured below, the currently best preserved pachycetine fossil, an individual of the genus Antaecetus from Morocco.

Now there are some interesting anatomical features to mention that either differ between species or just can't be compared. For example the American species of Pachycetus, P. wardii, shows a well developed innominate bone, basically the fused pelvic bones. This is curious as one would think of it as a more basal feature, with derived whales gradually reducing them. The skull is best preserved in Antaecetus and has a very narrow snout. One way to differentiate the two is by the teeth. Pachycetus has larger, more robust teeth while that of Antaecetus are way more gracile and is thought to have had a proportionally smaller skull (in addition to being smaller than Pachycetus in general).

All of this has some interesting implications for their ecology. For instance, why the hell are they so dense? Well its possible that they were shallow water animals using their weight as ballast, staying close to the ocean floor. This would definitely find some support in the types of environments they show up in, which tend to be shallow coastal waters. There are some Ukrainian localities that suggest deeper waters, but that has been interpreted as being the result of migration taking them out of their prefered habitat.

Now while pachycetines were probably powerful swimmers, their dense bones mean that they were pretty slow regardless. And to add insult to injury, they were anything but maneuverable. Remember those long transverse processes? Turns out having them extend over the majority of the vertebral body means theres very little space for muscles in between, which limits sideways movements.

From this one can guess that they weren't pursuit predators and needed to ambush their prey. What exactly that was has been inferred based on tooth wear. Basically, the teeth of Pachycetus show a lot of abrasion and wear, not dissimlar to what is seen in modern orcas that feed on sharks and rays. And low and behold, sharks are really common in the same strata that Pachycetus shows up in. Now since Antaecetus had way more gracile teeth, its thought that it probably fed on less well protected animals like squids and fish.

Below: Pachycetus/Basilotritus catching a fish by @knuppitalism-with-ue

The relationship between pachycetines and other basilosaurids is wonky, again no thanks due to Pachycetus itself being very poorly known. Some studies have suggested that they were a very early branching off-shoot, in part due to their prominent hip bones, but in the most recent study to include them, the description of Tutcetus, they surprisingly came out as not just the most derived basilosaurids but as the immediate sister group to Neoceti, which includes all modern whales. Regardless, in both instances they seem to clade closely with Supayacetus, a small basilosaurid from Peru.

And now for the part that is the most tedious. Taxonomy and history.

Remains of pachycetines have been known for a while and were first described as early as 1873 by Russian scientists. To put into perspective how old that is. The material's history in science predates both World Wars, the collapse of the Russian Empire and even the reign of Tsar Nicholas II. Now initially the idea was to name the animal Zeuglodon rossicum, but the person doing the actual describing changed that to Zeuglodon paulsonii reasoning that it would eventually be found outside of Russia (something that aged beautifully given that Ukraine would eventually become independent).

And this is where the confusion starts to unfold. Because at the same time people unearthed pachycetine fossils in Germany too, which would come be given the name Pachycetus (thick whale) and be established as two species. Pachycetus robustus and Pachycetus humilis, both thought to be baleen whales.

Pictured below: Pierre-Joseph van Beneden who coined Pachycetus and Johann Friedrich Brandt who described Zeuglodon paulsonii. Beneden easily has the better beard.

These latter two names however were later rejected in 1935 by Kuhn and lumped into other species, whereas Zeuglodon paulsonii was elevated to a full on new genus by Remington Kellogg in 1936. For those curious, Platyosphys means "broad loin", in combination with the species "Paulson's broad loin" to the amusement of some friends of mine.

And then people stopped caring and we have a nearly 70 year research gap. Eventually Mark D. Uhen found fossil material in the United States, but interpreted those fossils as being part of the genus Eocetus, naming them Eocetus wardii, a move that many following researchers disagreed with.

Then in 2001 a new species of Platyosphys, P. einori, was named. It's bad, moving on. More importantly, we got the works of Gol'din and Zvonok, who attempted to bring some clarity into the whole thing. To do so they rejected the name Platyosphys on account of the holotype having been lost sometime in WW2 and picked out much better fossil material to coin the genus Basilotritus ("the third king" in allusion to Basilosaurus "king lizard" and Basiloterus "the other king", isn't etymology fun?). They erected the type species Basilotritus uheni and then proclaimed Eocetus wardii to also belong into this genus, making it Basilotritus wardii.

This move was however not followed by other researchers. Gingerich and Zhouri maintained that regardless of being lost, Platyosphys is still valid and can be sufficiently diagnosed by the original drawings from the 19th and early 20th century. And to take a step further they added a new species, Platyosphys aithai (weird, why does that name sound familiar).

Then Van Vliet came and connected all these dots I've set up so far, noting that the fossils of Platyosphys are nearly identical to those of Pachycetus. This lead to the fun little thing were "paulsonii", applied first to Zeuglodon in the 1870s, takes priority over "robustus", coined just a few years later, BUT, the genus name Pachycetus easily predates Platyosphys by a good 60 years. Subsequently, the two were combined. Platyosphys paulsonii and Pachycetus robustus became Pachycetus paulsonii (simplified*). Van Vliet then deemed humilis to be some other whale and carried over Basilotritus uheni, Basilotritus wardii and Platyosphys aithai into the genus Pachycetus. *Technically Pachycetus robustus was tentatively kept as distinct only because of how poorly preserved it was, making comparisson not really possible.

Then finally in the most recent paper explicitly dealing with this group, Gingerich and Zhouri came back, killed off P. robustus for good, sunk Pachycetus uheni into Pachycetus paulsonii for good measure and decided to elevate Pachycetus aithai to genus status after finding a much better second skeleton, coining Antaecetus (after the giant of Greek myth).

And that's were we are right now. Three species in two genera, but only one of them is actually any good. So perhaps at some point in the future we might see some further revisions on that whole mess and who knows, perhaps Basilotritus makes a glorious comeback.

To conclude, sorry about the lack of images, despite the ample history theres just not much good material aside from that one Antaecetus fossil and I didn't want to include 5 different drawings in lateral view. Obligatory Wikipedia links: Pachycetinae - Wikipedia Antaecetus - Wikipedia Pachycetus - Wikipedia

Ideally Supayacetus will be the next whale I tackle, distractions and other projects not withstanding (who knows maybe I'll finally finish Quinkana)

[jeonqkooks]

a little taste | jjk (m.)

the one with just the tip.

[ ‘ a little taste ’ series masterpost ]

pairing: jungkook x f!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

genre/warnings: established relationship, smut (pwp), unprotected s✩x (this is fictional, don't do it irl folks), cre✩mpie, jungoo is an ✩ss grabber, he's also a lil shit, 2 secs of dirty talk?, swearing, they're both frustrated lol, zero editing pls forgive me

word count: 1.3k

note: happy sunday errbody! we got a surprise ALT drop 🥳 i have no excuse, i woke up this morning and wrote this in one sitting before i even got out of bed lmao. have fun all u horndawgs <3

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

You know how you got here, and the reason is very stupid.

It always starts with a meaningless discussion, really.

You two were having a quiet night in, cuddling on the couch and watching a rerun of your favorite TV show when a raunchy joke popped up, which somehow (because bless Jungkook’s brain and his useless ability to jump from point A all the way to point Z in a blink of an eye) led to the infamous “Just the Tip” debate.

You were taking the Negative, for obvious reasons, and he was on the Affirmative side. Jungkook wasn’t arguing that all men could handle themselves when their literal dick is inside of a woman; more so that he, this one specific individual, easily could.

And you suppose that’s why you’re here, trying to settle the argument, the both of you naked from the waist down. His hard cock pokes at your entrance as his eyes twinkle with a mischievous glint. Jungkook is always so competitive, but he sometimes forgets that you are too, and you’ll try your goddamn hardest to make sure he loses this one.

Okay, maybe it’s not just a silly little debate. It might have escalated into a silly little bet, one that involves the loser having to fold the laundry for a whole month.

Which so happens to be your least favorite chore.

Which only gives you more incentive to win.

Men are simple creatures, how hard can this be?

You bite your lip as he pushes in, just the tip, then stills. The stretch is a little dry at first, and a tad uncomfortable. You barely prepped before both of your shorts flew off somewhere in favor of you wanting to prove a point. Jungkook’s fingers slip through your folds to find your clit, fondling the nub until he could feel you getting wetter by the second, coating the tip of his cock in your slick.

“Ready to lose?” you ask coyly, to which he only responds with a playful scoff before he pulls his hips back, nearly slipping out of you in the process. He bucks forward again, and you can already tell that he’s trying to hold back, to be mindful of how shallow his thrusts have to be lest he wants to give you a few more inches than necessary.

“Fuck,” a tiny, whiny, moan escapes your lips, barely audible to your own ears but Jungkook catches it. He smirks at you triumphantly, never stopping his movements down there. God, you’re really not used to this. Whenever you two are on each other, it’s always hard and unrestrained, purely focused on making the other feel as good as possible.

How the hell is he so good at this? 

Maybe you should’ve known. What can’t Jungkook do?

You keep expecting more every time he pulls back, anticipating that his cock will fill you to the brim like it always does. But then he gives you just the fucking tip - which you suppose is fair; that’s the whole point of this idiotic bet after all - and you swear you could burst from frustration.

Jungkook senses your inner turmoil, how you’re trying to keep yourself from begging him to fuck you silly. You can’t say you’re surprised when he tugs his t-shirt over his head - in that insanely hot way that guys do! - and throws it recklessly across the room, flexing his abs and biceps at you. It’s like his tattoos have a mind of their own, the intricate ink winking at you with his every move like it’s mocking you, tempting you.

What’s on the line again?

Oh, right, laundry. Fuck!

You’re positively dripping with arousal, a want - no, a need - that he just won’t satiate. “That’s not fair,” you complain, even though your hands are already reaching for him, pulling him closer so you could touch him all over. 

“Who said anything about fair?” he says before he kisses you, his tongue slipping past the seal of your lips to taste you. He moans against your mouth as his fingers sneak down to squeeze your bare ass.

So he wants to play dirty? Well, you can do dirty too.

You time his thrusts so that when he ruts forward, you clench around his cock. 

That’s when you feel it. Him, deeper and throbbing inside of you.

For the first time since this started, you have the upper hand.

You break the kiss only to narrow your eyes at him. “That felt like more than just the tip,” you purr.

Jungkook groans, but it sounds more like a growl than anything. Okay, he’s really competitive. His hands dig into your ass so roughly that you’re pretty sure it will bruise in the morning. His hips stop moving entirely, trapping his cock within your walls where it’s achingly, deliciously hard.

You can practically feel his self-control slipping away, and all over a single clench?!

It might’ve taken you a bit longer than expected but alas, men are simple creatures.

You squeeze around him again, just for kicks. “What’s the matter, baby?” you tease, enjoying the way his eyebrows knit together tightly, almost like he’s angry. “Ready to admit defea– Oh!”

Then, that motherfucker shuts you right up. Jungkook shoves his whole length inside of you until he bottoms out, aided by the wetness that gushes out of you. He gives you a single grunt as the base of his cock rubs against your clit, the tension in your belly amping up tenfold when you feel him, so fucking deep in you because that’s where he belongs. This is what you wanted.

“What’s the matter, baby?” he mocks you with a sly smirk, though he doesn’t give you any time to answer before he starts fucking you with fervor, pounding you into the couch - or the next dimension - like he’s got a personal vendetta.

“I– fuck–!” If you could formulate a coherent response, you would shoot him back a retort - You lost! - but whoops, all rational thought flew out the window the second he rewarded you with his cock. It’s absolutely insane how easily he’s able to render you speechless just like that.

You struggle to even moan his name, for crying out loud. Jungkook holds your legs open so he could fuck you better, the tip of his cock kissing your g-spot with every thrust, sending you embarrassingly quickly to the edge you’ve been looking for. You hold onto him for dear life, nails digging into his shoulders and making him grunt from the added pain. It’s right there, you’re so close…

“C’mon,” he purrs, ducking down to suck a mark into the skin of your neck, “come for me. I know you want to.”

Just a few more thrusts and you’re falling right into that sea of bliss that awaits you at the bottom of the cliff. You come hard around his cock as a shout rips itself free from your throat - not even of his name, or anything in particular - and Jungkook is falling right behind you. He empties himself inside of you with a broken moan, warm ropes of his cum painting your velvety walls white. 

You hold onto each other like that for a while longer, neither of you caring about how his softening cock is letting your combined release trickle out of you and onto the material of the couch. You play with his hair as he kisses your neck softly, and when he finally props himself up on his forearms to look down at you, there’s something so sweet in his gaze that makes you flush all over.

It almost makes you forget about what you’ve been playing for. Rationality starts crawling back in again after the dicking down you just had.

Almost being the keyword. Too bad for your boyfriend though.

“I won,” you say happily, giving him your brightest grin.

“Did you really win though?” he asks, eyes narrowing playfully at you. Always the negotiator, this one. “Or did you want me to fuck you so badly that I let you win?”

“I won. You said just the tip and then you gave me your whole dick. Now prepare to fold the laundry for a whole month.”

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 14.05.2023]

[anantaru]

Random thought: Straight up obsessed with the idea of possessive Dottore, like bro's like. Let me just grab your hips when a man gets too close and feel so insecure later that he fucks u dumb and obedient. (Maybe even give u a collar to wear with a matching vial to his earring)

cw. possessive, toxic, fem! reader

in the general rule of how things were processing, one might say to not ever get fooled by dottore's awfully precise, calculated ways and intrigues of pulling you towards his menacing grasp.

to say, that the doctor harbored any special, deep feelings, or, a close connection to you, was too early to deduct yourself, but you can see how he was behaving whenever someone would give you attention, sugar coated affirmations that he for one, never threw your way.

what will follow next, and this never changes, is that after removing you from an encounter, dottore won't speak much nor say anything important, he rather closes his palm around your wrist, jaw clenched, his digits twisting over you strongly, the grasp stone-cold to walk you towards his room.

was he genuinely mad? irritated? or both for that matter.

further action, he makes you undress yourself, the silver, with sapphire stones bedazzled choker taking his attention once you're fully bare, splayed out on the bed, legs parted as he slants into the bed. the choker in question was unquestionably similar to his earring, and if one didn't know any better, they might think that it was crafted side by side.

his weight on top of you wasn't scary, you were aware of how feared dottore was by his peers, often more alarmed than by his dangerous enemies, yet when he begins to plant wet kisses on your neck, you immediately welcome him, and so does your body.

he bites your ear, quite fond of doing so, "how come.." he whispers, lips crushed on your skin as he lines himself up with your cunt, "you always find yourself in such situations?" and you were aware of what he was referring too, wondering if dottore thought you intentionally let other people flirt with you, shower you kindly with sweet praises, and your mind ponders vividly, on the brink of deciding if you really did do it on purpose, so you could for once, see dottore show any kind of emotions— or his insecurity? you wouldn't dare to question him on that, but it does pervade your heart with a warm perception.

still, before you know it, his hips jerk up into your core, and your whole body goes tense when he drags his cock in and out of you, shallow thrusts and putting his pleasure first, your fingertips stretched out and digging into his pale back. you pull yourself tight to him and your hole splits effortlessly with the strength of his thrusts. dottore groans to feel you tense further, then let go, and doing it again, you're so soft and firm as he fucks you, especially tonight he notices how sensitive he was.

"feels good?" he suddenly asks, with a voice that was more menacing then kind as his hands wander down the whole of your body until he was gripping the cheeks of your ass, fisting the mounds of flesh to drag you into his cock and push you into the mattress afterwards.

"y-yeah.." — "it always does." you continue;

dottore groans when you said it the way you did— fully submitted and in a haze as he drops to his elbows at your half-broken, needy noises, his chest suddenly crushing against your own when your erected nipples welcome the strong rubs of skin colliding on skin.

you buck your hips up, unravelling under the strong pressure of his cock pistoling into you, stretching you and sending vast ripples of shockwaves into your trembling flesh. dottore grinds faster against you, each tight and deep circle of his hips making the press of his weight on top of you less intimidating and more natural as if you were not fucking, but actually making love to each other.

©2023 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[bbanghiitomi]

| always by your side!

synopsis: forced to change companies, your dream of being an actress and all your hard work has been washed away, but for some reason even with the events that have unfolded you find yourself thanking the gods above for bringing you to haerin.

— idol!khaerin × 6thmember!fem!reader

(⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ(⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭

you lift your head from the table, dreading the idea of the upcoming news from the manager of the class you're currently at. you were updated that there might be changes in the company, you're one of the trainees for voice acting and there's rumors surrounding the company that they might send trainees to a korean entertainment label. if you were older than you are today, you wouldn't be that bothered by the news — but that's not the case, you were one of the youngest and current trainees for acting lessons. you knew that the company might be thinking that you are not gonna be much of a big loss to them, but you were desperate to prove them wrong.

yet, it seems a little too impossible as you shuffle on your seat. you raise yourself up from the chair and take deep breaths, your eyes spot the familiar face of the manager and an expression of grimace engulfed your face.

"don't take this a little too hard y/n, i know you've only been here for a few months but you're already attached to everyone." you nod but in all honesty you really can't process whatever the ceo was saying, it's hard to imagine the changes of pace and environment — who knows what kind of people she'll be seeing there?

"i heard i would end up on a different route if i was to be sent to that company. i signed up to be an actress — don't you think it's cruel for me to end up taking a whole different career?" you tell him but he stays head strong, only staring at your puppy eyes.

he sighs and puts a hand on his forehead.

"i know, i know. even i think it's cruel for the ceo to decide something like that, but we're in deep trouble. this is the only way to save the other trainees and don't you see the positive side? a job like being an idol is a very flexible job, you can do it all at once." he explains but you want to disagree, you don't want to do all things at once.

but it's too late, isn't it?

it really is, you realize as you sat at the office of ador entertainment. all your bags and luggages have been sent inside the shared dorm of your future co-member's, the girls were as confused as you were.

"oh, it's you y/n." you hear the sound of shoes getting closer and as you look up, your eyes meet with your new ceo — min heejin. you can only smile at her, not so confident as you try to look for a piece of yourself to show off.

"good morning." you tell her, actually she isn't so bad, this isn't your first meeting with her — you remember how shallow your brain was that day, it was a nerve wracking moment for you.

"i'm sorry once again about how sudden the news has been, but i hope you know i'm grateful you accepted it with honesty for yourself. i've given you ample time to decide and you still agreed, i hope you won't change your mind anymore." you appreciate her thoughts but there really isn't any choice left for you to choose, this is just about to be your fate and you're bound to accept it no matter how much you hated it.

you smile at her, not that sincere but you were trained for this.

"oh, i guess i realized that a part of me may have been meant for this. who knows right?" you shrug at her and she returns it with a bright grin.

"i'm so happy, i hope you know why i chose you out of all the trainees there. it's not just because there was no one left but because i think you're the perfect fit, there's something i see in you that i think you don't see in yourself." she says, you're starting to think she's sugarcoating it — because the last time you checked the circumstances it just seems like your old company was in deep debt and needed a sacrificial lamb to pay for it; which turned out to be you.

you chuckle, don't really know whether to believe or not; but it doesn't matter anymore.

"oh really? i personally think that's such a nice thing to say, almost a little too nice." you tell her but she was unfazed, you can see that she's really holding on to her words, like she meant it and that it was genuine.

you cannot interfere.

"yes, i'm quite excited because i'm sure the girls would love you. who wouldn't? i have so much high hopes for you and the future of newjeans, you all would be a hit. everyone will love newjeans." you can't even get mad at how happy heejin looks right now, maybe this is just really her passion.

yeah sure the girls would love you, but how about you? you gloat about the idea of being in a group, you don't want to work with people, the idea of being dragged down or dragging people down sucks. and think about the burden that it is to work with multiple people, you hated that idea.

after all, you've always been alone.

"i don't really know about that, i'm pretty sure they're acquainted with each other and are close but how about me?" you find yourself immediately fiddling with your finger, for some reason you don't know why too but a part of you is quite intimidated of what was coming your way. strangers, new people, new places and a new environment.

"don't worry, the girls are nice and well behaved, they are well put and have manners. if anything, i'm quite confident you'll like them. i gave minji all the instructions needed for tonight."

oh right, you're moving inside the dorm tonight. and you wonder what the girls are thinking.

"i'm excited! i wonder what type of person she is, i mean from the sound of it i'm already expecting that she's very cool." hanni does a finger gun towards danielle's direction, earning a small laugh from the girl as they make their way to the living room. the four girls all sit on the couches around the room, haerin's eyes traces along the floor to the bags and luggages hanging by the corner of the place.

"honestly, all i want is to see her already. i want us to be friends as soon as possible!" danielle beams, minji nods and clasps her hands together, worried but at the same time excited. they didn't have that much information regarding the new addition to the group, all they got from heejin is small details, like she's kind and cute.

it's enough to get the girls going except from a certain feline-like member.

haerin is nervous.

she's been thinking about this since yesterday, laying on her bed she can't get the thought of you finally coming face to face with them, it's been keeping her up since the day it was announced.

she wanted everything perfect the moment you step a foot inside, the place is clean, every nook and cranny, the members look presentable, there should be food already ready, not a delivered food but home cooked meals. haerin does not know why she feels like this but she wanted to make a good impression for the first day.

she's usually lazy, but tonight she made sure everything was in order so that not even the members could notice her weird behavior.

"are you okay haerin?" hyein asks, leaning on the couch while raising a brow at the older girl, haerin nods and makes her way to the kitchen to check the cookies she baked with danielle.

haerin is shy, she tries her best to communicate but sometimes it's very hard, this causes her social life to sometimes be in a rumble, because she's not very talented in talking to people. as someone who is happy to welcome you in the dorm, she's scared she might mess it up because of how awkward and quiet she is.

"haerin~ what are you doing there?" hanni sneaks behind the taller girl and puts her hands on haerin's shoulders. the younger girl is quick to turn her head. "u-uh hey."

hanni laughs and rubs haerin's shoulders. "are you nervous, you seem out of it since yesterday. always so skittish but worse, something bothering you?" hanni asks, smiling at the kang who lets out a small breath but does not reply.

haerin shifts her eyes away, she intertwines her fingers with each other, pursing her lips. "i'm just nervous." haerin whispers, gaining a soft laugh from hanni who then hugs her side. "oh really? you really want this night to be good for her, right?" hanni asks, rubbing her hand on haerin's forearm. haerin couldn't help but blush. "yeah, i didn't really want to say it but — we have to make sure she feels nice and comfortable here with us."

hanni squeals. "gosh haerin you're so adorable. we also think that way, i mean she's going to be our new addition, we'll be together for a long time."

haerin laughs. "i'm just so bothered, i couldn't stop thinking about it for almost a week. i don't want her to dislike me for being awkward." hanni shakes her head and hits haerin gently. "oh come on, she's going to love you like we do. you're like the most adorable girl ever, and you're like a cute cat. i trust our ceo with her choice, she's going to be good. i promise."

when you step a foot inside for the first time, you couldn't help but notice the very warm atmosphere inside the living room. it was empty when you came in with heejin and the smell of fresh food came wafting around the air.

"seems like the girls are busy, i'm going to check on them." you nod at heejin and smile at her. you like how clean the living room is, the colors are nice and the interior is very welcoming. you make your way to one of the couches and take a seat, the mattress sinking with your weight above. your hands are on your knees, you caress your lap to prepare yourself.

"here they are." you look up to see the girls, one by one they come inside with two of them carrying a tray of snacks and the other has water. you stand up and greet them, awkwardly pushing your hands out for a handshake, in which the oldest took oh so eagerly.

"i'm kim minji." her round eyes meets yours, her thick eyebrows take your attention and you can't help but smile at her.

"hi i'm pham hanni! i'm so happy to finally see you!" the shortest girl says, her hands are soft and gentle.

"i'm marsh danielle! you look really amazing! i'm so happy i can just melt on the spot." you laugh at her. "please don't." you mutter with a bit on your bottom lip.

haerin takes a step forward and brushes her hands on her clothes as if dusting the dirt away.

she anxiously takes your hands and shake them, you can't help but notice the way it trembles under your touch and you worry she might be sick the way her face is almost as red as a tomato — her feline-like eyes can't keep themselves from shifting away.

"i— uhm, my name… i'm kang haerin." she whispers but audible enough for you. you like her voice, the most.

you pull your hands away and you see haerin checking her own hands, her irises looks like she's checking out the lines on her palm.

a pair of hands takes yours and shakes them violently. "oh my god! it's really you! i'm so happy! i'm lee hyein!" the tallest girl says, your eyes examine her plum lips and sharp eyes.

you let go of her and gave her a small nod, she's adorable. yeah, you can say they're not that bad overall but… still, you have to make sure — you don't want to live with them for 5+ years still feeling uncomfortable.

the first few days consist of going around the dorm, training and just sitting together eating lunch and dinner.

you like minji the most, you appreciate her mature thinking, she's someone who knows when to be serious and when to joke around. you realize that she's very reliable, like a rock to lean on when the land tilts.

danielle is someone who you can trust when it comes to advice, she's someone who knows her words and has a holistic thinking approach in every situation. she looks on the bright side and sees the bigger picture, always positive and smiling.

haerin is awkward and quiet. but among all the members, she's the one who you're sure can understand you the most.

you like how she doesn't talk a lot when you're alone with her, it's not like you hate when hanni and hyein does it but sometimes, you need a quiet time too. you can tell that she knows you're getting yourself used to the new places, she's always right behind you.

you don't hate her presence, but it's not like you love it too.

things are really awkward with her, it's almost like she gets really skittish when you get near her, her face is always a different shade of red, her eyes are always everywhere but yours.

it makes you double guess if she hates you or not, but to say hate would be too much — maybe she's not used yet?

that must be it.

"hey haerin, can you pass me the remote?" you ask haerin, you look at her there's a small meter separating you and her on the couch. your eyes scan her bothered expression while she reads a book very attentively.

you want to reach for the remote yourself but her figure is blocking the view of the remote from your position. you scoot close to her and clear your throat in order to get her attention. "haerin?"

she doesn't reply. you scoot once again, your shoulder touching hers. haerin shuffles on her seat almost immediately as your bare shoulders touch her and puts her book down while looking at you with wide eyes and blushing cheeks.

"w-what?" she asks.

you look everywhere and smile at her. "i said, can you pass me the remote? i was planning to watch the discovery channel." haerin blinks and nods, closing her lips tight with a sheepish expression.

she moves and reaches for the remote and passes it over to you, but as you hold the remote, your fingers brush against hers causing her to immediately let go of the remote — with you being startled, you drop the remote on the carpeted floor.

"haerin?" haerin looks up at you and she reaches for the remote, then she hands it over to you. you stare at her and watch as she shifts away, pushing a strand of her hair behind her cute red ears.

"you're red." you tell her, haerin scoffs and turns her head away.

"it's nothing."

practice is finally over, you sit on the floor with your eyes scanning over the studio, back against the gigantic mirror. the other four girls are busy taking their time to perfect their moves, trying to polish their steps.

you're still not used to this way, it's harder and you physically can't keep up sometimes.

haerin is a great dancer, you envy and admire her moves and the way she puts her whole self to the music, letting the rhythm guide her body the way the beat intended it to be. you wish you had that kind of talent, you're not that bad but certainly could be better, it's not that hard to admit and you're always open for criticisms.

you feel a presence beside you, you shift your head to see haerin taking a seat next to you, her back also now against the mirror. you smile at the sight of her eyes watching over the other girls, she's sometimes so serious it's always so interesting.

"have you drank water already?" you ask her, seeing as she's still taking time catching her breath, sweat continues to roll over her cheeks. haerin turns her head to you and stretches her lips into a smile. "yes, i'm just taking a short break." you nod and scoot closer to her.

haerin swears she could feel her skin crawl, it's such a weird sensation but it feels funny.

"make it longer, you look tired." you whisper to her, she laughs sheepishly and scratches her cheek, feeling the burst of warmth washing inside of her again. this feels so weird, but she's always like this with you.

haerin pouts for a second only. "you did great." she mutters, eyes finding themselves lost in yours. you smile, nodding. "you did great too, so it's time to rest for a bit." haerin shakes her head.

"no, i mean you really did well. i know you're still bothered and you're always trying, but you're doing great, you're catching up to us already." haerin whispers, almost leaning closer for you to hear her. you shrug, your eyes watches as she looks away, her cheek and left ear close to your lips.

"hmm… really? i wasn't really trained for this." you whisper against her ear, your breath fanning over her skin, causing waves of electricity coursing inside of her, enough to raise the hair in her arms.

your body is close to hers, clothed bodies touching as her arm wraps around your torso, your hands on her knees.

"yeah, but you're already a great singer. dancing would be a piece of cake for you." she tells you but her eyes are still somewhere else, you wonder what part of the thin air must have took her interest. you chuckle, leaning on her shoulder. "really? i still have a lot to learn." you feel her body stiffen to your touch, and as if no one else is inside the room, your hand reaches for her other hand.

haerin shakes her head, now her cheeks are obviously dusted with the color of pink. her sharp eyes are taking your attention, she's like a cat in every form and every way.

have you mentioned before how much you love cats?

how much you might have loved haerin?

because you don't even know that yourself.

"yeah, and it's not just you but everyone of us." you like haerin, maybe just a friend, or maybe more but really, how are you supposed to know?

your relationship went on like that for almost a few more months, and as time passes by, you start to get fond of these feelings for her and haerin starts to realize that she might love you a little too much.

it's the way she's always so giddy, skittish, shy, attentive and conscious about her surroundings when she's with you. she's so aware of every detail about you, those little things and she notes them inside her brain. she's starting to really enjoy staring at your face when you're doing something, even from afar, she takes a short glimpse of your face when you least expect it.

every word you say makes her happy, you're so wise and so good when it comes to choosing the right words to say.

that also what she fears the most, it's not really easy dealing with feelings like these. the thoughts of you keep her wide awake every night, she daydreams of you and sometimes she can't get you out of her mouth.

she likes your perfume, the way you dress, your hair, your eyes, your lips, your cheeks and the way your irises are weak at the sight of haerin.

so many fascinating things about you.

you're really a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

because it's true that haerin loves you, but behind these feelings are the fears of what lies behind the consequences of her actions.

how long does she have to keep this a secret? haerin might get in trouble.

sometimes her heart beats a little too hard for her to calm it down, like it's threatening to rip her chest apart.

"is there something wrong?" you ask haerin, she's been staring at the television for too long, it's already late at night and the television is going static already. you come down from upstairs to find haerin standing in the living room alone, the lights are off and the television is still on but is showing nothing but the colorful display of emptiness.

haerin only moves when you place a hand on her cheek, she looks at you and blinks her eyes.

"don't stare at the tv like that, you're going to get a migraine." haerin rubs her eyes and sighs. you press your hand on her cheeks to feel how warm the skin under your palm is. "are you really okay?" you really can't see her face in the dark, it makes you wonder if she's sick or not but her face is really warm.

haerin shakes her head. "yeah, i'm alright. i just spaced out." the light from the television illuminates both of you, you can only see her eyes and the details of her face.

haerin feels your palm rub her cheek, it makes her feel nervous and putty, like a melted marshmallow.

"how long have you been standing here?" you ask her, pulling your hand off of her face. she feels dread swallowing her when she loses contact with you.

"i don't know, i'm tired and picked up a glass of water but found myself here." you laugh at what she said, your expression made haerin feel dizzy, what makes it worse is that you even thought of placing a hand on her shoulder.

you're so close to her, she can practically feel your warmth embracing her.

"haerin, you're so random. you're tired, right? let's just sleep. come on." you rub your hand on her shoulder and as you're planning to pull your hand away again, she holds it with her hand. "y/n. have i told you something?" haerin asks, her voice sounds serious, but not intimidating.

you raise your brow at her and shake your head. "no, what do you want to say?"

haerin looks down and bites her bottom lip. "uhm, you see. i've been losing sleep a couple of times — since, i don't when but it's been on and off for me. it's just that i can't really find myself, over the past few months, my mind kept on shuffling. you know, i'm so out of it."

you nod, you feel her hand caress your hand, you smile. "nightmares?" if truth be told, the thought of you could be a dream but the circumstances are nothing but a nightmare.

"no. it's because —" pause. haerin takes a deep breath.

"i really, no — i have these thoughts that have been bugging me. y/n, i don't know how things will end after this." she continues, you listen very well, watching the way her eyes move, looking at you then everywhere.

"things will go well after, haerin." you answer her.

haerin nods. "oh, but it's about you. y/n, it's because i like you a lot…" there's nothing but silence, you can tell she wants to say something again but she's hesitating.

"what else?"

haerin locks her eyes with yours, she gulps down the courage.

"i really love you more than just a friend, you know i love everything about you and it's bothering me how if i let these feelings pass me by it's going to bite me back again. i can't just be your friend, that's the thought that i hate. i really hate it." haerin sighs, the hand on her shoulder — she pulls it away and holds it with her two hands.

haerin finds comfort in your presence, you only look at her and smile yet even without any response, haerin still feels comforted by your warmth.

you were always warm, there was never a day where you were cold.

"really? how come i never realized?" you giggle, looking at your hand in hers.

"we were too caught up. i guess?"

the thought that you love her too makes haerin weak, she remembers how nervous she was before because you might dislike her. she's still the same awkward and shy girl, but now she's sure you're her friend.

the only thing left for her to fear is the thought you might not love her the way she loves you.

you shrug. "i guess i was, but either way — i'm sorry for your sleepless nights." haerin looks at you and smiles. you lean close to her and gave her a kiss on her cheek, the sensation made haerin's knees weak.

as surprised haerin was, she can't help but smile.

you stay close to her, your hand and her hands between you and haerin's chests.

"i love you too haerin." you whisper.

haerin laughs, her grin is wide and bright.

you love her.

not just as a friend.

how is she supposed to sleep knowing that you don't just like her, but you also love her? how is she supposed to just stay still?

"don't you want to sleep already? we can leave all the worries for the other day." you mutter, eyes fix on hers.

haerin nods and leans in, forehead touching yours, she whispers back. "where? your room?"

you scrunch your nose. "how about yours?"

haerin shakes her head. "no,"

"why not?"

haerin shifts her eyes away. "because minji said so."

"because it's not cleaned yet? i know you haerin." you tease her, chasing her gaze.

you continue. "let's go. my room. we can cuddle until we fall asleep."

you both make your way upstairs, every step is light, attentive, trying not to catch any attention or make any noise. you let her lead you to your room, opening the door for you.

laughter spills out of your lips as you lay down the bed with her, tucking your bodies under the weighted blanket. you wrap your hand around her torso, burying your head on her neck.

"good night haerin, stay here okay?" you give her another kiss on her cheek, this one isn't a quick peck.

haerin nods, blushing.

"right, good night."

you close your eyes.

"i love you."

haerin hums, closing her eyes too.

"i love you too."

that night you realized how lucky you might have been, that the whole incident might have been a blessing in disguise — how the harsh winds have brought you to meet haerin and newjeans.

you dread it before, but now you can't help but be thankful. you found yourself in another family, finally realizing you aren't alone and you have someone to lean on.

that you have not just haerin but the whole group to share sentiments with.

[chibikyo]

War Prize

Baraka x Reader

(can be read as male or female; no gendered terms used)

TW for non-con, biting, mild belly bulge/cum inflation

Description; You are defeated and taken prisoner during Shao Kahn's invasion of earthrealm. As the one to defeat you, Baraka is given you as a prize by the great Kahn. What does the tarkatan leader have planned for you?

*First time posting something I wrote to Tumblr. First time posting smut. No idea where this came from or why. I just got this idea in my head and decided to roll with it. I hope someone enjoys it.

During The first days of Shao Kahn's invasion of outworld, you had been captured by a horde of tarkatans, lead by Baraka. As one of earthrealms champions, you had been presented to the Kahn as a prisoner of war.

"Their yours, Baraka, a reward for your impressive victory." The Kahn had chortled and you were dragged through the koliseum and out into the wastes of Outworld. The Tarkatan war camp was a nightmare to behold. There were corpses, some whole, some dismembered, most in various states of being skinned, hung up outside of nearly every tent. You closed your eyes aganist the horrific sight, but couldn't block that sweet, putrid stench of decay from invading your senses.

When the tarkatans pulled you up a short set of stairs and threw you down on to a tacky wooden floor, you chanced opening your eyes. The sun blurred your vision as one tarkatan yanked you to your feet. You wanted to resist, to try and make your escape but your arms were bound tightly to your sides and your wrists tied together behind your back with thick, coarse ropes.

It was Baraka who lifted you by the waist and looped your bindings over a hook suspended from what might be a gallows. The hook was sharp and left a shallow cut along your back as Baraka let gravity settle you onto the massive hook. You could just barely touch the wood below with your toes. Enough to take away some of the burden of your weight and lessen the pressure of the ropes digging into your guts. Your arms ached being so tightly bound against you and any struggle would just exhaust you more.

A crowd of Tarkatans were gathering around the stage, more pouring in from the outskirts of the camp. Baraka was speaking harshly to the horde in his native tongue and you had no idea what was being said, but shame burned on your cheeks as the crowd cheered. Fear curled hot and heavy in your guts, flooded your senses with the weight of your panic as it slowly crawled its way up your throat. Would Baraka make it quick, or did Tarkatans like to play with their food first? The thought of this monster flensing you alive, stripping the skin from your bones without giving you a swift death first? It took everything in you not to give in and sob.

Baraka turned toward you and you could swear there was triumph on that twisted face. He leaned in close and you could see his nostrils flare as he scented you. His breath was hot against your cheek as he drew closer. You shut your eyes and jerked back, though that only succeeded in rattling the chains suspending you. You felt harsh fingers dig into your soft flesh as Baraka grabbed your chin to hold you still. A tear finally broke free to trail softly down your cheek and just as softly you felt what must have been Baraka's tongue tracing the path of it. Like the rest of him, his tongue was coarse, rougher than a human's. It scraped under your eye, lapping up the gathering pool of tears threatening to spill before Baraka pulled away.

He shouted once more at the crowd, their cheers drowning out the foreign words and deafening you. You took a deep breath, waiting to feel the sharp sting of teeth or the edge of Baraka's arm blade. You were stunned when you felt two massive hands digging into the fabric of your pants followed by a loud tearing sound that reverberated in your ear drums. You froze, mind unable to fully process what was happening as Baraka moved up, ripping away your top to expose your chest to the ever growing crowd. Strips of ruined fabric were all that was left of your clothes, except what could not be reached beneath the ropes.

A sudden dread swept over you as you felt Baraka's hands trail back to your hips, the rough pads of his fingers scraping against the delicate skin, diggng into the soft flesh. His breath was hot on the back of your neck as he pressed his teeth against your shoulder, inhaling deep to scent the skin where your neck and shoulder met. This, more than anything, finally snapped you out of the fugue that had settled over your mind.

You struggled against the tight bonds, thrashing and twisting to get away from the monster holding you captive. Baraka merely chuffed, his hands digging harder into the delicate curve of you just below the edges of the rope. He yanked you backward against him harshly, your feet slipping away from the wood even as you scrambled to find some purchase. What little comfort that had been afforded to you before was gone as you felt the ropes bite into you deeper.

Baraka wrapped one arm around your waist as the other moved up to close around your throat. His fingers gripped firmly around your neck, the hollow of your throat pressed against the hollow between his thumb and forefinger. He squeezed only once, coupled with a low growl, which you knew was the only warning you would get about acting up. You felt a chill travel down your spine as Baraka pressed himself against you. You could feel the hard length of him pressing insistently against your ass and the thought of what came next made you feel sick.

The crowd was jeering, shouting harsh words that you could not interpret and hissing encouragingly at their leader. Baraka settled you back in position before pulling his hands away to fumble behind you. You couldn't see what the Tarkatan was doing, but the soft 'schck' of fabric hitting the floor left little to the imagination. You closed your eyes as Baraka's hands found purchase on your thighs again. You didn't fight as your legs were spread enough for Baraka to press in behind you.

"Please don't fo this." You pleaded, desperate to put a stop to this even knowing you were helpless to stop him.

"Quiet," Baraka growled softly from behind you and you choked back a sob.

You braced yourself for pain, but once again was startled as Baraka soothed the skin beneath his hands.Trembling, you couldn't begin to fathom what the Tarkatan meant by the gesture before you felt that rough, almost sandpaper-esque tongue lick a stripe across your entrance. You gasped, the pain-pleasure combo making you dizzy as Baraka lapped at your hole again and again. Your thighs quivered as Baraka plunged his tongue inside you, fucking you with it, forcing pleasure to pool in your gut even as you weakly tried to protest. You could feel yourself reaching that crescendo as your aborted pleas slowly became little more than moans. As your "no" and "stop" became "yes" and "more" and "please".

Baraka's hands dug harder into your thighs, spreading your legs further so he could fuck his tongue even deeper into you. He lapped up the taste of you with abandon, savoring that salty, musky taste as he pushed deeper still, until you could feel the press of his teeth against your entrance. The thrill of those ivory daggers nestled against your most intimate place drove you over the edge and you screamed as you came, thrashing as the most intense orgasm of your life was wrung out of you, Baraka happily lapping up the mess you left as you quivered from overstimulation.

As you slowly came down from your high, the pain from the ropes digging into you was sharper and you felt your face burning in shame as the crowd cheered louder. You almost thought that was it, until Baraka pressed in behind you, his cock impossibly large and pressing into the crack of your ass. You whimpered as Baraka pressed two fingers into your quivering entrance, lubricating the way with the remnants of your orgasm. He pulled them away with a satisfied growl before manipulating you until your entrance was hovering just above his cock. You had never felt so empty before, never been so achingly hollow, and your body clenched with the need to be full. Knowing it would only hurt to fight what came next, you forced yourself to relax as Baraka began to push into you. He went slower than you expected, but unrelenting as his cock speared you open. You had never imagined something so huge could even fit, but your body opened up around him as he just kept pressing deeper and deeper. Not just big, but impossibly hard with deep ridges on the underside that pressed deliciously against your plush insides.

He seemed determined to make you take all of him, growling as he was met with tighter and tighter resistance. You could swear you felt him in your throat, choking as your breath was punched out of you. You felt Baraka wrap his arms tight around you, pressing so tightly against you that the protrusions of bone on his chest and atms dug into your skin. You could feel the growl make its way through him, your only warning as he thrust up into you. You screamed as his monstrous length bottomed out within you, followed by his teeth digging into the soft flesh of your shoulder. The pain was so all-encompassing as you sobbed and thrashed against him.

Baraka stayed nestled inside you, content to wait until your screams subsided into shuddered sobs. He brushed his hand soothinlgly against your collar bones, tracing the hollow of your throat softly and felt your breath hitch and you lurch with pleasure as his arm brushed against a sensitive nipple. His teeth slowly pulled out of your shoulder as he felt you settle again and he lapped at the blood spilling from the needle like punctures. The roughness of his tongue sent spikes of white hot pain through the torn muscle, mixed with the zing of pleasure as Baraka explored your chest, pinching and plucking at your nipples to feel you squirm against his cock nestled so deep inside you. You were panting, your breath hitching on little moans as you adjusted to the intrusion. Baraka pulled away from the wound on your back, twisting the hook and you with it so he could turn you to face him.

The drag of his cock inside you as he manipulated your body with ease had you choking. Once you were facing him, Baraka leaned down, his tongue laving at one of sensitive nubs eagerly. You could see his face twist with ecstasy as he toyed with each nipple in turn. That rough appendage dragging acrosd the delicate skin and over stimulated nerves beneath, coupled with the constant pressure of his thick length inside was too much. He gave a single. shallow thrust, more to readjust your weight against him than anything, and you moaned, gasping, as a second orgasm tore through you. Baraka pulled back, his hands at your waist as he slowly lifted you. The sensation of the hook dragging against your back was dwarfed by the drag of his cock as he lift you almost completely off of it. Your hole fluttered and clenched at the ache of being empty, though that only lasted a few seconds before Baraka was lowering you back down. You choked as that massive length filled you yet again. You barely registered the ropes falling away before Baraka wrapped his hands around your thighs, jerking your legs up and you had to fling your arms around his neck to stay balanced, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist.

His cock rubbed your sensitive walls, drawing out soft moans as you lay your head bonelessly against his shoulder. He barked out what may have been an order to the crowd and you were reminded that this whole ordeal had been in front of an audience. You were too tired to care at that point, burying your head into the crook of his neck as your arms tightened around the Tarkatan leader's neck. The press of his sharp protrusions barely noticeable compared to the shallow thrusts of his cock within you as he carried you down the stairs and away from the ever dissipating crowd.

You finally snapped back to reality as Baraka pressed you down into a nest of furs and blankets. You hissed as the soft fabric brushed against the bite on your shoulder, the skin raw and aching. The sun no longer burned your eyes and you blinked, taking in the walls of Baraka's tent. Compared to the macabre sight outside the tent, inside was quite clean and almost cozy. Baraka noticed your hiss of pain and encouraged you to roll over, only pulling out of you long enough for you to untangle your legs from his before thrusting back into you with a satisfied growl. This time the slide into you was nothing but pleasure and you shuddered with anticipation. A part of you, buried deep since this ordeal began, knew that you didn't want this, that this was an assault by the enemy. Despite this, your body had already begun to crave the heavy weight of Baraka pressed inside you; the tight, almost suffocating feeling of his cock buried in your deepest, most intimate parts.

Baraka caged your body between his arms as he leaned down to delicately lap up the few rivulets of blood that had seeped from his bite mark. He inhaled the scent of blood, coupled with the sharp tang of your phermones, and his tongue poked out to taste it. You whined, rocking your body back against his, desperate for him to move as you felt the deep aching need pooling in your guts again. His growl, as he pulled out until only the tip of his meaty cock rested within you, made you gasp, before his hips snapped forward, driving his cock inside you and punching the air out of your lungs. He began to thrust, hard, fast, dragging harshly against your inner walls as you struggled to catch your breath. You could feel the slide in your guts and when you looked down you could see the top of his cock pushing out from the lowest edge of your belly. You moaned, your hand trailing down to press against that bump, feeling that hard length as it rearranged your guts to carve out space for itself.

Baraka hissed and let out a loud groan as he felt your palm press against his cock from the outside. His thrusts became feral as he rutted inside you, making you choke and slide forward from the force. Your orgasm that had been slowly building crashed over you wave after wave as Baraka continued to batter your insides. You were still shaking, riding out the aftershocks as you felt Baraka's arms around your waist, yanking you back and against his chest as he buried himself as deep as he could and painted your insides with his thick seed. You felt pulse after pulse of hot cum shooting from his cock, filling you to the brim. Your hand went to your stomach, brushing against the head of his cock as he shook through his orgasm. It took a full minute for him to finally stop cumming and you could feel that thick seed leaking out from where the two of you were joined. Could feel his cock twitching inside you. Baraka's cock was still impossibly hard and he seemed content to stay buried within you. He lapped at the blood that had seeped out of your wound as you slowly caught your breath.

"Beautiful." Baraka hissed. "I am so glad the emperor let me keep you. I would have been more gentle, but a public claim is required to ensure the clan knows you are off limits."

"You were…claiming me?" Your voice was rough from screaming and disuse. Your throat ached as you spoke.

"Yes. I've been dying to mate with you since our first fight." Baraka growled. His hands worked there way down your body as he spoke, removing the last remnants of your clothes until you were fully naked against him. "At the tournament." He clarified, nuzzling against your neck so he could drink in the sweet smell of arousal within your phermones. "You smelled so sweet, so delicious, I could barely resist claiming you right then." He gave a shallow thrust making you moan. "You are even sweeter than I could have hoped for."

Your breath hitched at the confession as Baraka slowly arranged the two of you on the nest. He kept his thrusts going, shallow and soft, content to feel you squeezing around him and you could feel exhaustion threatening to swallow you. Although you had not consented, you had to admit that Baraka had been much more careful with you than you'd expected. It didn't help that his arms were huge and warm and you felt safe even with those imposing teeth nestled against the hollow of your throat. You should be finding a way to escape. Instead you moaned his name as he snapped for hips forward, his one hand finding its way between your legs to coax one last orgasm out of you. You clenched around him, your body trembling as you felt him coat your insides with another flood of cum before he finally slid out of you.

You whimpered at ache of being empty as you could feel his spend starting to leak out of you. Baraka's hand brushed against your hole, feeling the mess slowly oozing out of you and twisted away for a moment. You could feel him fumbling behind himself for something, then gasped as his hand found your entrance again. Two of his meaty fingers swirled through the mess collecting outside your hole before he slowly eased those digits, cum and all, back into you. He spent a few minutes pumping those digits into you, working his cum as deep as possible. You choked, cumming again even though you hardly thought it possible. He kept softly pumping his fingers, enjoying the way his cum sloshed around inside you as you whined at the overstimulation. Baraka's other hand gently stroked your soft belly, feeling the way the skin was stretched taught over the small pooch that had formed from how well he'd filled you up.

Finally, as tears threatened to spill from your eyes, he removed his fingers and replaced them with something cold and hard. It slipped inside you easily,the bulbous shape and its flared base plugging your hole and preventing any cum from sliding out. You shuddered as it pressed against your sensitive walls. It wasn't as big as Baraka's cock, nothing was, but it helped ease the ache of the emptiness you felt. You clenched around it as Baraka pressed firmly against your back. He kept a tight hold of you, his tongue leaving little trails over your skin. You were too sore to push him off. There was a bone deep exhaustion settling over you from the fighting followed by the most mind blowing, toe curling sex you'd ever experienced. You drifted off to the sound of Baraka growling softly to you in a mix of yours and his native tongue. You only caught a few of the words as the world faded to black.

"My mate."