#but this random tumblr blog is not the right place to get/ or share information about how to help victims of war | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trashprinceward · 11 months ago

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EVERYONE LISTEN UP, THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I'm going to talk about the history of Tumblr, the current state of Tumblr, and why you should get out.

And you can call me a hypocrite, sure. But as an artist who depended a lot on commissions and art sales, I only came back to Tumblr because this is where the audience and active fandoms are. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here.

So, you've probably heard people calling tumblr "the queerest place on the internet". Probably more ironically that sincerely, lately. But the reason for this is that, at one point, it was true. Tumblr was synonymous with gay shit, all over the internet. That was this site's reputation. To the point that what the right wingers call "woke" these days, used to be called "tumblr shit". Tumblr was the BIGGEST resource for LGBT+ communities, information, advice and connection. That was here, on this site. Ask boxes thrived with friendship and fun games, artists got regular commissions and their work was shared. And, as much of a cliche as it may be to say this, Tumblr was a 'safe space'.

Then everything changed in 2018. I don't know how many of you were here for that, but that's when all this started. That's when we had porn bots. They'd start reblogging random posts, adding pictures of straight up porn. Naked people, straight up fucking. No tags, no warnings. Just uncensored porn and those stupid "click here to fuck me" captions. They were everywhere, constantly. And staff did nothing about it. No moderation, no kind of adding verification or new accounts. They just let the problem fester. Why should they care? Until they were threatened with being kicked off the app store, at least. Then they moved to do something about it.

So, instead of pulling together a human moderation team, or temporarily limiting new accounts, or doing any kind of intuitive policing of these spam bots, they just decided to make a blanket ban of all NSFW content, the enforcing of which would be carried out by AI bots. This, as you can probably guess, was a monumental failure. Anything that remotely looked like naked flesh was tagged as mature (a particularly infamous example features a picture of sand dunes being tagged as mature). And perhaps most tellingly of this failure, it didn't get rid of porn bots.

What it did get rid of though, was artists. Myself included. I was a mature artist. I had a NSFT sideblog. I sold commissions, I made money. It wasn't exactly career level, but I made enough that commissions helped me to eat when all my money went on bills. Then that was gone. Even SFW art wasn't entirely safe, because if the bot decided that your art had too much "skin" in it, you were flagged. (And at the time, I drew a lot of Jojo art, so I was screwed on that front.) So I had to leave. To find a new site where I could post my art, and try to continue selling commissions. The problem with this? Only a handful of people followed me offsite. I had roughly 300 followers on here. About 5 came with me to twitter. And then about 2 came with me to pillowfort. I had lost everything. Artists all over lost their following, lost their support, lost their income. All because people couldn't be bothered to boycott their funny fandom website.

But that wasn't all. Because now staff saw they had an opportunity. This bot they had created, was going around flagging anything mature, sometimes outright deleting posts or banning blogs that were too 'NSFT'. So... What group is often inherently seen as NSFT or sexualised? Yep, you guessed it. The queer community. And so that's what they did. They struck it all down. The biggest LGBT community on the internet, and they used the "porn ban" excuse to start flagging and deleting blogs. Never touched the nazi blogs, or the white supremacists, or that one blog that would doxx gay people in homophobic countries. Nope, they were left alone. But the most prominent, notable and well known queer blogs were gone. And again, the majority of the userbase was ok with this. They stayed.

I left this site for 5 years. And I tried to make it work elsewhere, I really did. I went to twitter. But over there nobody retweets work, nobody comments on your art. I only had like 2 regular supporters. I haven't gained followers in YEARS. Literally the only reason I still post to twitter is because Airdorf retweets FAITH fanarts. I tried going to pillowfort, which is honestly like a BETTER version of Tumblr. But, it was empty. Nobody was there. I even offered to give out free invite links to pillowfort so other people could join up too! Nobody ever responded to me. So I gave up. After 5 years with almost no interaction, almost no commission sales. No friends, nobody to talk to, nothing to do, nowhere to go... I came back here. And interaction is so much better (even though it's still a struggle to get people to actually talk to me). But I hate being here because I know what this site is like.

Also I know how complacent people are. The things they did back then, they're still doing now. Flagging trans women as mature, straight up banning them for no reason, spreading around campaigns of hate. Its STILL happening. And you're all still here sitting "oh this is awful, this website is transphobic" and then go back to reblogging memes. I saw a poll recently that asked what people would do if tumblr closed down or kicked them out, and the majority answer was just "give up social media completely" and it's like, really? There are plenty of alternatives out there. Artists and creators, and LGBT activists and whoever have been BEGGING you to join us, but you just wont. People would rather sit in this sinking ship till it goes down than make the leap and follow us into the lifeboats.

And I'm saying this again now because there have been talks about tumblr making a deal with midjourney. Because they want to feed all our art, our selfies, our hard work into the AI slop machine. So history is repeating itself again, and once more artists will be begging you to please come with us. Please get off this site. Please come to a place that isn't actively trying to get rid of us.

Me... I'll be staying here as long as I'm able because this is the only place I have any kind of audience. But if you can, if you care about friends, if you care about artists, if you care about queer people. PLEASE come with us. If the worst comes to it, then I'll be leaving for pillowfort. Please, PLEASE come with me. I have invitations, I can send you one so you can join. Send me a message and ask me. Just please, don't die with this place.

#tumblr #artists on tumblr #transphobia

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armory-rasa · 2 years ago

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Pinned post: Welcome!

Hello! I'm Gabriel, the guy behind cosplay leatherworking studio Armory Rasa.

My specialty is tooled veg-tan with a fantasy flair, which includes armor, masks, bags, quivers, horse armor, knife sheaths, and random one-offs like the cat saddle. Some fandoms I’ve done a lot of replica work in are Dragon Age, Assassin’s Creed, The Hobbit/LotR, The Witcher, and the MCU and DCU movies.

If you're here to look at pretty things, you can browse my finished works tag to see some of the projects I've made in the past, or check out the Armory Rasa shop to see what's currently available.

I enjoy improving my skills and learning more about the craft, and sharing what I've learned with others. It can be difficult to find information on non-traditional leatherworking, so I try to be a resource. Leatherworking has an intimidating reputation, but it's my goal to demystify it and make it more accessible to more people.

If you’re looking to get into leatherworking yourself, the best place to start is probably the Learning Leatherworking section on my website, where I've collected and organized the best tutorials I've written, or in the posts tagged #instructional or #long-form tutorial on my tumblr. I like to document projects as I'm working on them, and you can ride along with the #liveblogging projects tag to see them go from nothing to done.

I’ve discussed some of the business considerations involved in making your living as an independent artisan, along with the shady stuff that Etsy has been pulling in recent years.

And also there are many pictures of my cat. 😺

As a final note -- I don't talk politics on this blog, but with leatherworking as a field that’s heavily populated by older, right-wing-leaning men, and with the increasingly vocal contingent of white supremacists in reenactment circles (particularly viking circles) who would co-opt and misrepresent history for their own ends, I would like to clearly state that I am not onboard with any of that shit. Those people don’t own the hobby, and they don’t get to speak for everyone else in it. This blog is a pro-queer, anti-sexist, anti-racist space, the end.

So enjoy your stay, respect and encourage and uplift each other, and don’t hesitate to hit me up with your questions, I love talking leather. 😀

#pinned post #lol finally got around to making one

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huurrefanfictionreadinglog · 6 days ago

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Bug fix for Yearly Statistics

You can find the same blog post from Huurreauthor.com.

The first week after the release was definitely the busiest with bug reports and fixing them. There is one bug that has been such a nuisance and I'm still trying to get it fixed. It appears in the General Statistics tab with the Most popular in this fandom with some fandoms. I'm trying to map out if there is a specific pattern for this, so please, if you notice this bug, report it through the Bug Report form with the information of with fandom it appears.

I've got also some reports from the Fetch Data script when it doesn't do what it should and gives an error message TypeError: Cannot read properties of undefined (reading 'forEach'). So far it seems that it's maybe something on AO3's end (for example slowness as they have also reported that AO3 has been slow lately). So far the script has worked to the same link some time later.

If the script doesn't get the data to the file and does not show any error messages, the fanfic is most likely locked and therefore the script doesn't work on it.

I've got multiple good questions about the uses of different things and "Can I do this or that" in both Discord and Tumblr. I will gather them together soon, probably doing some kind of a collection blog post. Tumblr is a really good place to ask anything anonymously, but it is also possible through the Request a feature or leave feedback form that is linked to the file's Home tab. You don't need to leave your contact information and if there is a question without an email address, I will answer it at least in Tumblr. :)

But now! To the real bug fix! I did this a bit differently because there were so many formulas to fix. For some reason, Most Popular Fandom and Most Popular Pairing have been giving random results in Yearly Statistics. These are already fixed to the public files so you can always make a new copy for yourself and copy fic information from your old file to the new one. I simplified the formulas a lot, although it meant also leaving out something. In this case, it doesn't count re-read fics when looking for the most common value. However, it will count them when the most common value is found.

First of all, you can find all the formulas and probably good enough instructions from this Google Sheets File. You can copy & paste fixed formulas for every year to the hidden support area you can find when you open the Yearly Statistics tab and click a small arrow in the top right corner.

You can find the specific cell you should choose (but only click it once to choose it, not twice to activate it!) from the file. Note that the location is slightly different depending on if you have starting from 2024 or starting from 2025 version.

For additional help, please see the video below and if you need help further, please send an email or join my Discord! We can do it over screen share too, if necessary. (Though, it's not my favourite option and I can imagine that it's not that for other people either, especially with completely random, so I always try to get the problem sorted without that.)

vimeo

#huurre's fanfiction reading log #bug fix #ver2.0 #Vimeo

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thesinglesock · 7 months ago

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Heya! Sorry for the random message but I was looking through the bunad tags on tumblr and saw your post on fantastistakk? (I hope I’m spelling that right!!) i was wondering if you had any good resources on learning more about them or could share any more information on them! I’ve always loved norwegian bunads and I’d like to depict them + reference them more in art/writing but with further fantasy themes (hence the even greater fascination with fantastistakk) and have worried about coming across as ignorant when the last thing I want to do is do these wonderful dresses and their history a disservice! (I additionally ask just because when I look up fantastistakk specifically I get a lot of results in norwegian which is fine I just don’t want to end up with inaccurate info putting it through a rough translator online so i thought I’d ask!)

Thank you so much!

Hi and thanks for the ask! Please don't apologize I love talking bunad and fantasistakk :D

I really wish I could paste in a link to the Definitive Guide to Fantasistakk (English Edition), but unfortunately no such thing exists.

Mainly because this is what I would call a Folk Fashion Movement, in the sense that there is no big fashion house or designer* behind it, it consists of regular people digging up their mothers' sewing machines and having fun with learning traditional techniques in a new way. The closest thing you can get to valuable literary resources would be people's personal blog posts and the occasional news article, but they're all written in Norwegian, like you discovered. And while I get that machine translation can be awful, it wouldn't be the end of the world if you used it to research this topic, since most of the time the explaination of a fantasistakk essentially boils down to "I made it like this because I think it looks cool". (*there are a couple of notable fashion houses that do fantasi-stakk, like Eva Lie and Embla Bunader, and while they contribute to the trend, they don't control or own the movement.)

There are several ideals tied to the fantasi-stakk trend, so the reason someone might choose a fantasistakk instead of a bunad can vary. Some people make theirs from thrifted curtains because they're saving up for a "proper" bunad later, while others commision a carefully researched and deeply personal subversive tailor made piece of art based on their local dress tradition. In any case, the fantasistakk wouldn't exist without the traditional bunads, so you might want to look into those as well.

Luckily, you can find a lot of international resources on the traditional bunads, because they've been around for longer and one of the core ideas behind the bunad-movement was to document local dress traditions to prevent them from fading into obscurity. If you want to learn about the history of bunads I highly recommend this video by Kristine Vike, that takes a critical look at the idea of the Bunad. It really digs into the historical and political context that the bunad has and the history of how it evolved into what we know it as today.

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I cannot overstate how well researched this video is, and also if you want to learn more about Norwegian dress history and textile arts in general, go check out her channel, it's a real gold mine.

But if you want resources for art inspiration, I'd encourage you to look up specific bunads to base your fantasistakk on. Each bunad has its roots in a geographical area and is made with the traditional techniques unique to that place. Some areas have more variety than others, but there's enough to write several books on each and every bunad.

Here's a handy list of pretty much every bunad (with a few Sami gakti as well), sorted by province:

Very few of the costumes in this list have English wikipedia articles attatched, but some of them have Norwegian articles, and I'm sure every single one of them has plenty of pictures to use for reference (pro tip: instagram hashtags. people love to tag their bunad pics with the name of their dress). And if you find one you're interested in, but you can't find any accessible information, I'd be happy to help you learn more about it :D

when it comes to being respectful and coming up with fantasistakk-designs, I'd say try not to worry too much about it, and just have fun! some people get mad when they see a teenager using a "non-traditional" shirt with their family heirloom vest, while others applaud them for showing both their heritage and their individuality. Doing your research is important if you want to depict historical dresses (and to give you more ideas of what a bunad can look like), but in contemporary norwegian culture a lot of us are mixing it up with modern garments and borrowing from other cultures and just making clothes we want to wear (just like our ancestors used to do before the standardized national costumes got popularized)

And on that note, I'll wrap this up with the banner picture from Embla Bunader's home page for inspiration:

(btw I'm officially rescinding the statement I made in the fantasistakk post, that Embla is "less extravagant", cause this past year they've Really been Cooking)

I wasn't really sure where to even begin answering this ask, since it's such a massive topic, but I hope I at least some of this information is useful :P

#vitpost #bunad #fantasistakk #Maybe later I'll do a breakdown of popular fantasistakk silhouettes and what regional tradition they're inspired by?

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fibrielsolaer · 2 years ago

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FibS lays down the facts: April o' Neil

I'm so fuggin' tired of hearing morons drool out their mouths over this so here's all you need to know:

It's perfectly fine that Rise April is black.

April o'Neil has been portrayed as black before Rise.

April o'Neil was not "originally black" in the Mirage comics.

Rise did not make April black for woke points. Rise makes numerous changes to Turtles orthodoxy so that it isn't a boring repeat of the more traditional 2012 cartoon that immediately preceded it.

(EDIT: Many of the comic scans from this blog post, as well as some of its information, are from this blogspot post from 2018. I neglected to mention this earlier, but at least one person is asking. Unfortunately, people who reblog this post from earlier versions will not see this edit.)

The original creators of TMNT are Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman. Laird has always considered April o'Neil to be white other than considering possibly making her Asian in early notes; the confusion over April's race is solely due to Eastman.

In her earliest appearances, April o'Neil conveniently stands right next to known definitely-black character Baxter Stockman:

This April is as white as the Mousers and the lab walls and doesn't have curly hair. If anything she looks like Sigourney Weaver (Dutch, English, Scots-Irish, Scottish), right down to Ellen Ripley's outfit.

Since Alien came out in 1979 and Ellen Ripley is a massive influence on female lead characters even decades later, this resemblance might be intentional.

But Kevin Eastman, who has a habit of designing female characters based on the woman he is seeing at the time, redesigned April two issues or so later based (rather loosely) on his at-the-time girlfriend April Fisher (she has since passed away.)

April Fisher was, as a matter of fact, mixed-race.

Eastman later clarified that April Fisher was, of course, the source of April o'Neil's given name the entire time. (And I would like to point out that the surname of o'Neil doesn't preclude someone from being black.)

But being named after or inspired by a mixed-race person the creator knows does not mean the character is mixed-race, any more than the numerous My Little Ponies based on real people share those people's races (as opposed to being cartoon horse fairies or whatnot.)

April o'Neil specifically states that she got her hair done. That is to say, she got a perm.

Since black women's hair is already very curly, black women get perms to straighten their hair. April got hers to curl her hair - because she's not black, she's a white lady trying to look like a bootleg Paula Abdul (Syrian).

Or, quite frankly, any other 1980s pop star?

Because, y'see, now's a great time to point something out that Twitter & Tumblr seem to hope you'll forget:

The entire 1980s.

I'm pretty sure nobody who cares whether April o'Neil is black or not knows who Paula Abdul is, except maybe that she was a judge on American Idol. Paula herself might be a year or two late for April's redesign to reference her specifically, but April o'Neil looks like any random white woman from the 1980s. Because the Mirage comics were released in the 1980s. They take place in 1980s New York. And damn near every single white woman in the 1980s got a perm at some time or another.

I doubt these black April fanatics recognize half of them:

.....

Even the men got them!!

And eventually, around the time everybody else was over it, the exact same April o'Neil in the exact same continuity lost the perm:

Remember what Eastman said about April's "different looks"? Even in the same damn comic they can't draw her consistently. April here not only looks nothing like Paula Abdul April, but nothing like Ellen Ripley April either. Hell, she looks like a JoJo character.

And there are some panels were Paula Abdul April is shaded darker than in others, which you could take as April being black if you literally ignore the entire rest of the comic and pretend that's the only time she was ever drawn:

You know, like how people pretend Princess Daisy was "originally black" because she was sliiiightly darker in Mario Tennis than usualy, including ignoring that there are earlier illustrations where she is more pale?

A perm and a tan doesn't make you black. That'd be, y'know, blackface. Not like T&T actually knows what that means either, since they think a white person posting an image with a black person in it counts as it.

Don't you think the fact April looks like four different people in the same fucking comic should convince us that we can't deduce her race from interpreting the illustrations and instead, we should, I dunno, recognize that every single time April has appeared in color with Laird and Eastman's oversight, she's been clearly white?

As opposed to that one comic everybody likes to cite, which is a non-canon guest comic by Mark Bode that changes such details as the city it takes place in and April's job, which was originally published in black and white, whose black April was colored that way by another guest artist (Bill Fitts) and looks like a disco queen stereotype which I could've sworn T&T hated, and which was later corrected to a white April when republished:

We really shouldn't listen to uneducated narcissists who want to have their cake and eat it too, don't know who Cyndi Lauper is, and already had their conclusion ready before they looked at any of the evidence, blatantly misinforming us about the world's most inconsistent comic and pretending 98% of that comic and one of the most important decades in modern human culture just never fucking happened.

#tmnt #rant #april o'neil #rise of the turtles #rise of the tmnt #ninja turtles #mirage comics

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anthraxplus · 2 years ago

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forgive me for writing so much about tumblr but i have a lot of thoughts

here's the thing about tumblr. i've found it interesting how we continue to call our profiles our "blogs" even though they function differently to the common idea of a blog (like livejournal). but in a way, calling our profiles our blogs makes sense. they're our place to post things we've made or repost content we like. it's more personal than twitter, which has an "information" or "discourse" lens applied to it. the focus on twitter has increasingly been to encourage sharing of information (i.e news or opinions). tumblr's focus has always (afaict) been to encourage sharing of our creations, kinda lumping blogging in there as "self expression" or something to that effect. technically speaking, artists should be more at home on tumblr than on twitter.

but people using their blog as ONLY a blog (no reblogs, just their thoughts or creations - like a livejournal) are in the minority on this site, right? make no mistake, i follow tons of artists who use their blog in a very focused way, but mostly we're all reblogging other people's posts, putting their art on our blogs and riffing in the tags on people's jokes. it is very much a site of Content, Things To Share. the fact that we can blog on here almost feels oddly secondary. but, ok. tumblr is a site for people to post their creations/content, and said content finds an audience through being discovered or reblogged.

so why is it so damn hard to find anything?

like, ok, obviously we can do that. type words into the search bar and you will definitely find posts. but dont you often wonder why the hell some posts showed up in your search and others didnt?

you're telling me filtering searches by top posts of all time isnt showing me the post that has this exact string of text (+- punctuation), but is showing me posts that... have those words in them, scattered, and sometimes not even that exact word ("piss" vs "pissing")?

what about when you try to search for a word or phrase that you KNOW is on a blog in some post, but searching for it brings up NOTHING? i just had to deal with this when searching someone's blog for a specific post i had just seen on my dash - i can only imagine tumblr told me no such post existed because it wasnt tagged with that word.

and all of this feels so obviously wrong, right? even without tags, we should be able to search for words or phrases in a more reliable way on both the site and our blogs. i dont think im alone in the thought that the search function is almost useless - even if it gives me what im looking for sometimes, it can be a struggle, and mostly it just doesnt feel worth it. this is how we can keep ourselves in insular circles and struggle to break out of them. it is literally easier to do this than it is to find new shit.

so, yknow, staff isnt wrong when they say this:

tumblr does need growth, but not necessarily by attracting new users (though, idk, i wouldn't mind that). tumblr needs internal growth. this site is stuck in the early 2010s in a way that is baffling to me, and it has continuously failed to adapt to its userbase's needs in a way that honestly doesnt make sense, and when they do change something, it just ends up causing more strife between staff and users.

so, for example: tumblr needs money to keep functioning, obviously. the common practice is to have ads on the site. but oops, the ads suck and everyone hates them. ok, allow users the option to pay to get rid of ads. but oops, a lot of people dont want to give money to the site that continuously breaks itself (among many other complaints). ok, meet users in the middle and allow them to pay to advertise their stuff - this should be, like, the perfect mix of everything, right? being able to advertise your content on the content site? but oops, this is only a good option because finding new content is so goddamn hard that random people shoving their posts onto your dash is the only remaining viable option. when you have to rely on pure chance/luck for your posts to even be found, even when you do everything in your power to increase their visibility, you're not gonna want to stay here.

i feel like addressing the search function should be the staff's top priority before they implement anything else. we need to be able to find content on the content site. i think thats pretty obvious. once it works the way it already should have, then they can worry about what comes after. i think people feel this animosity with staff because we're struggling to continue to use this site while they struggle to find ways to get money out of us. i think if people felt they could actually use tumblr in the way it intuitively feels like it should be used, that kind of animosity would be more rare*. but until we get that, any change to the site is going to feel wrong.

fwiw though, i'm glad to see staff say that the site basically doesn't work. like. goddamn. took them long enough. i just hope (probably baselessly) that their acknowledgement of this issue will lead to some fixes that benefit the foundational usage of the site.

*yes, there is animosity towards staff for other reasons - like, yknow, how innocuous selfies of trans women get flagged as "mature" (among other things) - but that's an issue of culture/enforcement and not necessarily the raw function of the site, so i feel like it's best suited for a different post

tl:dr PLEASE FIX THE FUCKING SEARCH FUNCTION, IT NEVER SHOULD'VE BEEN ALLOWED TO BE THIS BAD AND I THINK ITS ISSUES HAVE BEEN A MAJOR REASON FOR TUMBLR'S STEADY DECLINE

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rediscoveringcreativity · 6 months ago

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First actual blog. Listing most of my goals with this I guess

I've never had or used a blog before. I don't know what to do with these random existential internal monologues I have. I've never really used tumblr, let alone any other website similar to it. I don't like reddit, 4chan, twitter/X partly because they're a bit too annoying and difficult to use and partly because of the people on there. I'll give this a shot since most of the time I just see people agreeing with reblogs, likes, etc. on this site rather than the cringey condescending responses you'll see on other platforms.

Growing up I recall constantly having words and thoughts buzzing around in my head. Significantly more creative thoughts than what I have going on now. I still think to myself and I'm guessing the word here is 'monologue' to myself about other things but I just remember it being very different when I was younger (middle/high school age). I feel like I didn't 'grow out of it' or something along those lines. It feels more like I killed it. As a matter of fact, only a few years ago I was always consuming political commentary, keeping up with current events, listening to informational/news podcasts and it kept my brain stimulated. But even then, not the same as when I was a kid.

My personal history or whatever you want to call it was very rough growing up. A lot of trauma and being exposed to a lot of evil in the world. I personally don't believe in therapy, medications, recreational drugs, etc. and have tried some of these with no success. I think the only reason I don't off myself is because I am afraid of what's after death. (At this point, venting something like this will get the redditor fedora tippers exclaiming "NOTHING HAPPENS AFTER DEATH" or some other nonsense. - The fact of the matter is, their belief is just as hard to prove as religion. So I don't want to hear your opinion - I am merely stating why I am even alive right now).

Any way, I'm thinking of using this blog to write down my thoughts and monologues because I often forget what I say to myself. My memory is very poor. I've come to learn dementia runs in my family, so, if I ever grow old and if tumblr is still around, I think old dementia-stricken me might remember how to operate a computer and I can look back on all of this stuff.

I use to draw a lot. I was passionate about music. I had an imagination. But I feel nothing now. I am quite empty. I am a very stoic person in my daily life. When I get dragged out to outing by coworkers, they learn to stop inviting me because I am a downer. They nudge me to smile and let loose. I am always uncomfortable in my own skin. I am always empty. I don't necessarily feel sad. I think the fact that I am empty is what causes my sadness.

I don't know who I am and I feel too old to not have an identity, and especially personality. I'm not seeking words of advice, encouragement - those are unwanted. I just want to be able to share my thoughts with strangers and just see if there are others out there who think "same" and tap a like or reblog.

I think if I saw something like "OP ur wrong its ok to not know who you are even if you're 30, 40 or 50" it would annoy me. I'm not looking to hear "it's ok" or looking for any solution. I just want to scream into the void that is the internet. Maybe it'll scream back. And I know I can't expect people not to be critical or try to uplift me, or whatever. But it's just internal thoughts I'm writing out because I can. Thinking ahead or something.

I'm still working on myself and today I felt more moved to make moves towards those. I've accomplished some things but these accomplishments essentially mean nothing because I am still essentially in the same place. I don't know. This post was supposed to outline some goals but it's turned into a vent fest.

Hoping to maybe string together some poems or something too. I've always found poetry interesting but never got into it. I feel like it requires a level of creativity and understanding, or the ability to not understand at that, that I don't and never had.

Well, we'll see. Hi tumblr.

#trauma #depression #empty #i feel empty #first post #first blog #blogging

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loonyoz · 9 months ago

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Idk I guess I should make a pinned post? Sideblogs, links to my art posts, and info about me below the cut

@hezele is where I’m attempting to write fanfiction

I might make a sideblog for my art someday? Idk

My Art:

Right now I just have very random bg3 art

Wyllstarion Howl’s Moving Castle AU:

Wyll making a pact

Wyll and Astarion

Sketch of Wyll in demon bird form

Sketch of fem!Wyll

Strictly Ballroom Wyllstarion

Sketch of Branwyn, @/odessa-castle 's oc from their lovely fic Nothing Like the Sun. (highly recommend giving it a read!)

Used to have supernatural art and non fan art posted but got self conscious and deleted it lol.

Other notes and info about me:

I would list all my interests (like books, shows, etc.) but uhhh that list is way too long. Honestly I feel like I love most things/genres/media and am always looking for more art to engage with and appreciate.

I try to put alt text on all my posts that have images but I’m pretty sure I’m ass at it lol. Lmk if you have suggestions for me on how to make my posts more accessible or my alt text better and I will do my best to implement it.

This is the internet so I really don’t want to share much about myself, but I think it goes without saying I’m very neurodivergent and queer lol. I use way too many terms but genderfluid, transmasc, and nonbinary are the best descriptors for myself.

Branching off of that I want to say the internet is a difficult place to navigate, especially socially. I’m sure I make lots of mistakes on how to communicate best with people online, but I try my best to do so as respectfully and kindly as possible. The internet is a great way to get information and have discussions about important topics, but there are many pitfalls and problems that can occur that are too numerous and complicated to get into here (although I’m sure anyone whose been on the internet for all of 5 seconds is familiar with them).

I use tumblr mainly to discuss creative media and I also don’t feel I’m qualified or informed enough to speak on most serious/real world topics. So I try to avoid bringing up alot of real world issues on my blog because I worry I would only be detrimental to these causes. Of course, creative media is not off in its own bubble from the real world and so real life problems are bound to be part of the art or discussions.

I bring this up for two reasons. One, I don’t want people to see my lack of activism and feel uncomfortable, or that I don’t care. This is unavoidable but perhaps this alleviates some people’s worries. Two, I want people to know I’m open to constructive criticism and learning new things. If I post something that you think is misinformed or hurtful, and you’re willing to tell me, I want to know about it and what I can do to improve. And on lighter note, I love to analyze stories and art and provide my thoughts and opinions on it. My favorite thing is to have discussions/arguments about interpretations of stories and ideas. So as long you approach me in a respectful/kind way I would be overjoyed to chat.

Anyway if you read this far, thanks for slogging through the wall of text :). Tumblr is glitchy but Im pretty sure most of my followers are bots I need to block 🤷

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leashade · 2 years ago

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A couple of random thoughts.

First. Initially I started this blog to keep it "out of sight" — so it won't get too much unwanted attention — but still share some thoughts with others. It became more important to me after the war started, since there were many political thoughts I just wasn't feeling like posting anywhere publicly. My philosophy is that information (even personal blogs) should be public and "out there", but I didn't want many people to know about it. And also considering how the gov monitors social media, writing in an unknown blog in English would bring relative safety.

And my platform of choice was Telegram (with X-posts to Discord). It's a convenient place to write thoughts to, and it's the most convenient blogging platform out there. Twitter is nice and all, but it's too public and it doesn't work for "medium sized posts" (which is funny since Medium works great for long posts, but not for medium sized ones).

Now with the fediverse on the rise I was considering Mastodon as a platform to write this kind of thoughts to. But it still doesn't really work for this kind of thoughts. That said, Tumblr is kind of on the rise these days, so I might migrate here.

Second. The main issue with this blog is a different one though. As much as I would love to write long posts here every once in a while, I don't have much to write about outside of dota these days. I have a Russian counterpart of this channel, but it doesn't even have that much activity either.

The main reason for that is simple: after all the shit started, I kind of wanted to focus on my work. In a way it's a way for me to escape the shit and feel better. Working a shitload feels just as good as isolating myself in a long session of Genshin Impact or some other game. Just for some time there is nothing, but you and the code or this beautiful world. There is nobody to harm you, nobody to annoy you. Just you. I felt weird about working during this kind of time at first. But then I realised that there are people who actually rely on me and my work. I can do a better job, and these people can actually make a difference, so this is my way of changing the world and breaking through these shit times.

As a result though most of the stuff I can write about is going to devlogs and dota blog. There are some big blog bits, but that's about it. It's kinda sad, but what can one do.

Third. Just as I was able to figure out at least some kind of plan for my life and seemingly establish a fragile equilibrium, it's broken again. Or at least feels like it.

You might not know it, but during all this time I haven't left Russia. It's not like I didn't want to or didn't try. It might seem like "getting out" is easy and all, but it's actually not, and it costs money too. And with all my tech equipment and my work (and some personal matters) it became very challenging to get out on my own (especially when you don't have money for it as well). I was looking into different options I have, but it doesn't seem like there are many of them left.

This post is basically my way of letting out steam, as I was feeling nervous after the recent news and couldn't sleep. There are still personal matters here, and I still don't want to leave unless I have to, but, well, I have to now. But first I need to get the last tech upgrade — just as I've got used to using an actual PC as my main machine instead of a laptop, I have to find a laptop that's able to replace my main PC once again (and probably upgrade it immediately). All of this while dealing with matters here and preparing to leave.

I can't reveal my exact plan (and not even sure there is a proper one anyway) and my current options (I have conflicted feelings regarding some of them), but all I can say right now is it should be alright eventually. At least I have a decent plan regarding my projects and how to make them better and also get some profit out of it while not reducing the available information.

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papciz-gram · 3 years ago

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gabriellapapadakis Repost from the @nytimes - Je suis dévastée par ce qu’il se passe en Ukraine. Je continuerai de partager des ressources que vous pourrez trouver en highlight sur mon profil. N’hésitez pas à continuer de m’envoyer tous les liens, infos, ressources que vous avez. 💔🇺🇦 I’m devastated about what’s happening in Ukraine right now. I’ve shared and will continue to share links to donations and informations that you can find in a highlight on my profile. Please, don’t hesitate to send any infos / ressources / links my way. 🇺🇦

(27.02.2022)

#normal #admin note: i thought a lot about how to share these posts on this blog and i have decided i won't be reposting the resource posts shared #by Gabi because the information may not be current anymore #i don't want to spread misinformation/or outdated information and i also don't want to just treat them as posts and stories #if you can donate or help in other ways please do so!!!#but this random tumblr blog is not the right place to get/ or share information about how to help victims of war

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skarlettskwrl · 2 years ago

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Embedding images on AO3: A Guide

Since AO3 doesn't host images themselves, we'll just have to host them elsewhere.

In this guide we will use Google Drive, Discord, https://postimages.org/, or Tumblr as possible choices to host our images.

Step One: Grabbing the URL

Google Drive:

In google drive create a new folder where the image(s) or sub folders for further organization.

Right click and select New Folder, name this folder what ever you what.

Now upload your image(s)

Right click on your image and hit share

Under General Access ensure it is set to Anyone with the link

Hit Copy link

The link you have should look something like this

**https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mzOp9pOYhaWahgJP6yVFXbtYagCQ_0Up/view?usp=sharing **

But as is it won't work! We need to modify it first!

Copy the string of random numbers and letters after /d/ and before /view?

1mzOp9pOYhaWahgJP6yVFXbtYagCQ_0Up

Here's a template https://drive.google.com/uc?id=

paste your string after id=

your new link should look some thing like this...

https://drive.google.com/uc?id=1mzOp9pOYhaWahgJP6yVFXbtYagCQ_0Up

Now, you have a working link from Google Drive ready to use.

This Google Drive portion was from this guide here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28132845

Discord

I have a personal discord server I use for sharing links and other information between devices/OSs. Alternatively, you can create a discord server dedicated to AO3 link hosting.

Create a new text channel. I’ll call mine ao3-image-links in this example.

Once you’ve uploaded your image click/tap on it and hit Open original

Or on mobile tap this icon to open the original.

Copy the link from your browser’s address bar on desktop.

from mobile tap the share button then Copy URL

This will give you the full resolution of the image rather than the condensed preview you’d get from the Copy Link in Discord.

Now, you have a working link from Google Drive ready to use.

Using a image hosting service like https://postimages.org/

https://postimages.org/

You can create an account for free with this one. This is pretty straightforward so I’ll gloss over. Hit the sign up button. Then, enter your desired email

Once logged in you will be presented with this page

Upload your image, and you will be taken to this page.

Copy Direct link

Now you have a working link from postimg.cc ready to use.

Tumblr (mobile):

Tumblr is not always the best to use as blogs can get deleted or URLs can change here. But I’ll include it here anyway.

Long tap the image you wish to use in a post.

You will be presented with this menu.

Tap share photo.

Then you will be presented with another menu.

Tap Copy URL

On Desktop (Google Chrome Browser)

Right on the image in the post.

You will be presented with this menu...

Click copy the image address.

Now you have a working link from Tumblr ready to use.

Now, you are ready to embed.

Step 2: Inserting and fitting the image

Go to the new/ existing chapter you wish to be embed.

HTML OPTION:

Make sure in the HTML editor view.

This is located next to the rich text button in the Worktext section, as shown.

Now, find the place in the text where the image should go...

For this image, it was much too large. So, I modified it with the width and height modifiers.

**First you must find the dimensions of the image. **

This can be done with the same image URL from earlier. With this online tool.

http://myfreeonlinetools.com/get-image-size-and-dimensions/

In this example, my image is 1080x2400

Once you have the dimensions, you can find the aspect ratio.

Use this calculator:

https://www.digitalrebellion.com/webapps/aspectcalc

Once have the aspect ratio, you can half or quarter the height or width and calculate for the one you don't have.

Example I've quartered my height as halving it was still to big.

In my case the dimensions are now 600 by 270 which fits the page much better.

These will be your new dimensions.

Record them.

Here is a blank template to paste in.

<p>

</p>

src is the path to the URL.

alt is the alternative text for the image. This is used for accessibility as well as be a modern web standard.

width is the image width in pixels

height is the image height in pixels

You insert your values in between the double quotes.

_*remember to close your quote _

*remember to close your image tag

RICH TEXT OPTION

Make sure in the Rich Text editor view.

Set the cursor where you want the image. Click image icon.

Set the values in this form.

Use the URL we generated in one of the previous 4 options.

Set the Image description

The width and height may be input automatically, if not consult the HTML OPTION for finding the dimensions and aspect ratio of the image.

Here’s how it looks after posting

Shout out to @playedcrowd5610 for inspiring me to make this guide.

#fanction #long post #danny phantom #ao3 #guide #embedded images

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crow-caller · 2 years ago

Note

ive been writing book reveiws for a while, just for me. like, i have a whole file full of docs about books ive liked, hated, or a bit of both. And I want to post them because i find them interesting, but im very nervous that I'll say something wrong or just ramble and sound stupid. You seem very put together though, did you have the same anxieties? if so, how did you overcome them?

(sorry if this is poorly written english is not my first language)

It's nice to know I seem put together, because I'm actually a huge mess and very sloppy!

Book reviews are very fun to write. I love the feeling of finishing a book and thinking about how I'll write up my thoughts. I've gotten better and developed more of a style over time too.

The first thing is to get a blog for it. I'd really recommend wordpress- I cross post here, but tumblr itself isn't a great format for a review blog. I'd also say crosspost to Goodreads/Storygraph. What helps with the anxiety of posting reviews is the fact you'll probably get only a few views. This sounds discouraging but can be a big plus. After having my blog casually for like 4 years and having over 100 (huh??) reviews, my total viewcount was still only a few thousand, like 2k a year. This was enough that friends were reading it and random internet people were, which was nice, but not so high I could panic I was going to get cyberbullied.

Posting a review and getting up to 50 views? That's 50 people who maybe read my review, baby! That's actually nice. That gives space to post reviews and feel confident doing so- getting a bit of positive feedback and feeling rewarded for writing the review, but also plenty of space to get better and improve at review writing. It's a small confidence boost that can encourage you to just keep writing.

I have quite bad anxiety- used to be worse- so I think about my reviews a lot. I also used to be worse at reviews, so I think about my old reviews a lot. The thing is, the best way to improve your writing is to keep writing. Find your own voice and system for it. And reread it! I reread my own reviews every so often to refresh my memory or for fun, and that really helps. Hindsight means I can see where I WISH I'd expanded on something more, phrased it better, or rambled. It's okay to ramble or be informal- I am- but if you're worried you do it too much, ask someone else for their thoughts or try using a structure. My reviews were all over the place until I started using sections like "Plot", "Characters", "Moon Squid Hell"!

Book reviewing is not something that is generally a high octane high fame thing. it's one of my precious hobbies I genuinely love, and if you've been writing reviews only for yourself, you obviously like it too! It'll only get a lot of attention if you're lucky, if you cover the right books, if you're even more lucky... but the reward of just getting to talk about something you read and put your thoughts down is fantastic. I wrote reviews for myself, but I found out by sharing them my friends liked them too, and so the biggest high of finishing a book and review was getting to post it in the group chat and seeing reactions. I really think the feeling of accomplishment for your work will best your anxiety, and rather than be discouraged if you don't get thousands of views immediately, having few views can actually beat your anxiety.

Hope that helps!

#sometimes theres asks

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blindbeta · 4 years ago

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Why “It Was Just a Question” and “It Was Just a Joke” Are Not Defenses For Ableism And Why Your Reaction Is the Most Important Thing

When someone is disabled, neurodiverse, etc people can sometimes ask really ignorant, invasive, or invalidating questions that take emotional labor to answer. And sometimes there is a lot of pressure to answer. This is even worse if it is a joke instead, and the options are to ignore it or say something and risk being yelled at because “it was just a joke, gosh.” Confronting people and setting boundaries gets you called over-sensitive, over-reacting, childish, etc.

I’ll make this clear: it isn’t about your questions or jokes - it is about the assumptions you made when you opened your mouth and the reaction you had when you were corrected.

Let’s Talk About Questions.

I first want to say, I started this blog because I wanted to. You are more free to ask me questions than random blind people on the street. The questions I receive here are also good, researched questions where I can tell someone has read my blog or some articles. I’m not posting to give my followers or anyone else anxiety. The whole point is that these people don’t have an interest in learning, doing any of their own work, or challenging their false beliefs. They want me to endure them and confirm them. I haven’t had to do that here and if I did, it would be easier than in real life because I can choose not to answer a question by deleting it. My followers are also already respectful of and educated on blind people, and so if I have a response that is less than perfectly polite, readers will know why. That is not true outside of this blog.

Now let’s talk about questions and why they can be used in a bad way. What makes a question bad? What is the difference between a genuine and ignorant question? What if you don’t have time to research?

A Bad question here is one that is based on a usually false assumption that prompts a desired answer. An example would be, “Are you really sad that you can’t read?” or “Why would a blind person need a phone when they can’t use it?”

I see a lot of these on tumblr. For example, one blog I followed received an ask that basically said blind people couldn’t be in the orchestra because such and such limitation. These questions have, at best, an obvious assumption along with, at times, a confrontational tone. This person does not want education. They want to defend their belief. A better way to truly ask such a question would be something such as, “I read that people in orchestras and choir have to sight read music. How do blind people navigate this?” No assumption is made about a blind person’s ability. The question is asked in an open manner. The asker has done some research.

Now, in real life, people don’t always preface it with how much research they have done. And let’s be real, it usually isn’t much. But someone asking, “Do you prefer Braille or do you use a computer to read?” shows at least some knowledge. They aren’t trying to put me into a box or use me for confirmation bias. It isn’t so much about getting the perfect wording. It’s about not expecting the blind person to confirm something for you, argue with you, or educate you without you putting in any effort. Even “I was wondering how you do assignments,” is open and allows for my response. If you aren’t able to research in the moment, make your question open or be transparent. To be honest, I feel better about people not doing research in person than online, because being online usually shows you have some time and tools to research. If resources are not available to you and you don’t have the internet for long periods of time, preface your question with that and acknowledge that the person does not have to respond if your question is offensive. Again,it isn’t about getting it 100% right, but truly trying and prioritizing the comfort of the person you are asking.

When I confront people for asking a question with an assumption, I often receive an angry response. The fault is placed on me for not educating people, for not being cooperative, for being mean. This happens whether I answer or not. If I try to explain to someone assuming I can’t read that I, in fact, can read or use a phone or whatever, this is seen as rude or not cooperative. Even confrontational. This person comes away from the conversation now believing blind people are rude and angry. Usually they assume the blind person is jealous of them for being able to see. Which, in that instance, would not be true.

Making assumptions that a person cannot possibly do something because of their disability, especially when you are ignoring what that person says, is ableist. Pointing this out is not attacking you or even, necessarily, judging you. They are not calling you any other name, no matter what else you claim it means to you. (I once had someone claim that when I said the word ableism or ableist she heard the word bitch.)

Let’s Talk About Jokes.

This one is much harder to navigate, especially because blind people often make jokes themselves. However, I want to continue to consider the underlying assumption and judgement some jokes can contain. The joke is usually bad when it contains an ignorant assumption and falls apart when that assumption is corrected.

One example is that picture that often goes around with a person holding a white cane is using a phone. The joke asks what’s wrong with the picture. The problem is not that it’s a joke, as most people assume. The problem is the assumption underneath this particular example, which, by the way, can result in blind people being harassed and even hurt. Read my post here.

But it isn’t even the joke that is the problem. The reaction is. Instead of being accused to attacking someone for an innocent question, someone who points out the problem with a joke or even that it was hurtful, gets someone accused of not having a sense of humor or being mean. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that in real life, not outside of this blog. It is, honestly, too difficult and too uncomfortable.

The reaction people sometimes have is one of defense. They aren’t ableist, it was just a joke, can’t you take a joke?, why are you so serious?, you are ruining the joke, etc. People also assume disabled people can’t tell when someone has made a mistake and when they are genuinely asking a question or trying to call attention to something by making a joke. Disabled people are not trying to take all jokes away. They just want to point out when something is harmful. Doubling down about how that person can’t take a joke is a big problem.

Again, it isn’t that someone made a joke about disabled people. It’s the assumptions inside the joke itself that are harmful. For example, jokes about blind people going to cinemas don’t land because blind people do watch movies. The joke falls apart when you remove the assumption - and not knowing that it was an assumption is part of the problem in the first place.

What Now?

Again, this post was never about not asking questions or not making jokes. It is about ways they can go wrong and how people can make it worse by getting defensive instead of being open to learning and moving on. Everyone makes assumptions or repeats jokes sometimes, and whether or not it becomes an argument is about being open to learning.

Disabled people aren’t out there looking for people to confront. Most of the time, they just want to go about their day or have a nice time with friends. If someone corrects you, no matter the setting, treat it as an opportunity for your growth and to make others feel more comfortable. Listen, apologize, acknowledge your mistake, and change your behavior.

My aim here is not to complain or to make people feel bad or even worry excessively. My goal was simply to share my thoughts on why these things can be a problem and offer suggestions on how to avoid them.

I hope this helps.

-BlindBeta

Note: I provide sensitivity reading for blind characters. See my Pinned Post for information.

#blind #myths about blind people #blindbeta

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kmomof4 · 4 years ago

Text

Oh, Shit!

It’s here, y’all!!!! Only took a week!!! I am very excited to share this fic with all of you, even if I’m wanting to run and hide at the same time! This fic was spawned by a tweet that @stahlop shared on the CSMM discord last Tuesday.

In college, a friend set me up on a blind date. I wasn't in a great mood because I had received a traffic ticket a few hours before. My day got worse when my blind date turned out to be the cop who gave me the ticket.

After a bit of discussion with the ladies on discord, I started writing. I do believe this is the filthiest thing I’ve ever written and I hope you all enjoy!

HUGE internet hugs and ALL the love and thanks to @hollyethecurious @karlyfr13s and @justanother-unluckysoul for their beta services. I am a very boring and repetitive writer on my own and without their INVALUABLE input, this would have been about as entertaining as plowing your way through waist deep snow in a blizzard.

Ao3 link

Rating: E

Words: Just shy of 4900

Tags: Blind Date, Smut

Tag list: Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

@hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @snowbellewells @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @jennjenn615 @kingofmyheart1426-blog @profdanglaisstuff @branlovestowrite @thisonesatellite @ultraluckycatnd @flslp87 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @let-it-raines @shireness-says @kymbersmith-90 @darkcolinodonorgasm @bethacaciakay @searchingwardrobes @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @aprilqueen84 @qualitycoffeethings @superchocovian @artistic-writer @donteattheappleshook @doodlelolly0910 @seriouslyhooked @tiganasummertree @lfh1226-linda @xsajx @klynn-stormz @jrob64 @wefoundloveunderthelight @zaharadessert @elizabeethan @xhookswenchx @gingerpolyglot @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 @sailtoafarawayland @justanother-unluckysoul @veryverynotgoodwrites @jonesfandomfanatic @deckerstarblanche @the-darkdragonfly @batana54

Adding a couple of other folks from discord who were excited about this one. Let me know if you’d like to be added to the regular list.

@purplehawkcaptain @holdingoutforapiratehero

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

Emma Swan lifted the glass of white wine to her lips as she looked out the window of the restaurant to the streets of Boston below. She wasn’t in the best mood to be going on a blind date, but she’d promised her best friend, Mary Margaret, that she’d still come even after the day she’d had.

She’d lost a big skip with a hefty payday because she’d been stopped for speeding in the middle of chasing him down. So the last thing she wanted to do tonight was make idle small talk with some random guy who was friends with M’s fiance, David, who had also made the reservation. She took another sip of her wine and turned toward the front of the restaurant as the maitre d approached. The man behind him cut quite a figure in the black suit he wore. He was tall and raven haired with dark scruff lining his jaw, and it took Emma a moment to recognize him.

Oh, shit…

~*~*~

Killian Jones walked into the swanky hotel restaurant and approached the maitre d.

“Reservation for two under the name Nolan,” he informed the man.

“Yes, sir,” he replied. “Your table is ready. Right this way, please.”

Killian followed behind the man as he led him toward the back of the room, where a blonde goddess sat alone holding a glass of white wine while looking out the window. She turned toward them and Killian stopped in his tracks.

Oh, shit…

~*~*~

3 hours earlier

Emma looked in her rearview mirror when she heard the siren. Flashing blue lights filled her vision.

Oh, shit!

She pulled over and watched as her mark sped away, slamming her hand on her steering wheel in annoyance. Glancing in the rearview mirror, she tried to plaster a winning smile on her face. Dressed the way she was in her best honey trap dress, it was always possible that she’d be able to talk her way out of a ticket.

She looked in the rearview again and caught her breath as the sexiest cop she’d ever laid eyes on got out of the cruiser and made his way toward her bug. He was sex on legs. Tall and lean with artfully mussed black hair and scruff lining his jaw, she snapped her mouth closed and swallowed heavily.

“Do you know why I stopped you, ma’am?”

Emma batted her eyelashes at him innocently.

“No, I don’t, officer.”

He raised an eyebrow at her and the corner of his very full, very soft looking lips raised with it. She nearly needed to fan herself.

“You were going nearly 20 miles an hour above the speed limit back there.”

“Oh, really?” she asked, feigning surprise. “I had no idea! I’m so sorry, officer. I will be sure to never do it again.”

“Mmhmm.” His lips pressed into a thin line. “May I see your license and registration, please?”

“Oh, of course,” she agreed, lifting the hem of her dress up her thigh to where she kept her identification and a few bills in a thigh holster when she was working. She took her time getting her license out, hopefully giving him an eyeful. The man’s stunning blue eyes were darkened with lust when she turned back to him and handed him her information.

“Thank you, Miss… Swan,” he said, looking at her license. “I’ll be right back.”

She watched him walk away, appreciating the view as he approached his own vehicle, before her own desire turned into anger.

“Dammit, dammit, dammit!” she hollered, slamming her hand on the steering wheel with each curse. She looked in her rearview again and saw him looking right at her. His intense stare told her that he had seen her outburst and that she hadn’t fooled him a bit with her little innocent act. She blew out a frustrated breath and waited for him to return, struggling to bring her libido under control.

Several minutes later, he returned. As he handed back her documents, Emma screwed up her courage.

“Listen,” she began, “I really am sorry for speeding so much back there, and for the little act earlier.”

His eyebrow raised again. “Really,” he deadpanned.

Indignation flooded her cheeks with heat as she took a deep breath before continuing.

“Yes, really. See, I was chasing a skip…”

“Your reasons don’t really concern me, Miss Swan,” he said, handing her the citation.

She huffed in annoyance as she took the ticket from him. Their fingers brushed briefly and Emma could feel the shock all the way down to her toes.

“Is this really necessary?” She wasn’t above begging.

“I’m afraid it is.”

With his heated gaze on her, she looked at the citation and gasped in shock. “$350,” she shrieked, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Watch your language, miss. I could add another hundred for disrespecting a police officer.”

Emma’s eyes got wide and she had to swallow her retort. She tossed the offensive piece of paper to the passenger seat and turned a sickly sweet fake smile on the man.

“Am I free to go now, sir?” she grit out with as much sarcasm as she could muster.

“Yes, ma’am.” He raised his eyebrow at her again and smirked while running his tongue over his bottom lip. If she wasn’t so pissed, she’d be really turned on by his actions. “I hope you have a good rest of your day.”

She wanted to tell him to piss off, but she also didn’t want to antagonize him. So she just rolled her eyes and turned the car on. When she pulled into traffic, she looked into the rearview mirror one last time and saw that he still stood on the side of the road looking at her car with a roguish smirk on his face, like he wouldn’t be opposed to pulling her over again... and maybe frisking her. And if she wasn’t so angry, she had to admit, she wouldn’t mind it either.

~*~*~

Oh, shit…

Killian couldn’t move. Couldn’t bring himself to put one foot in front of the other. The woman he was meeting, at his best friend David’s behest, was the angel he had ticketed earlier this evening.

Just looking at her again, a smirk spread across his face and he could feel his slacks tightening. He couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t very pleased about this turn of events, but he imagined that she wasn’t terribly happy to see him.

~*~*~

Oh, shit…

It was him. The cop that ticketed her a few hours ago. A flush blossomed across her face and spread down her chest- whether from arousal or indignation, she wasn’t sure. She took a deep breath, her chest rising. His eyes followed the action and darkened with desire before he subtly adjusted himself. Her own smirk ticked up the corner of her lips to match his. This was gonna be fun...

~*~*~

Killian resumed walking toward the table, inserting a slight swagger in his gait. When he reached the table, he held his hand out for her and raised it to his lips when she placed her own hand in his.

“A pleasure to see you again, Miss Swan,” he murmured, brushing his lips across her knuckles.

Raising her eyebrow at him, she snarked, “So now you’re gonna be a gentleman?”

“I’m always a gentleman, Swan,” he said, releasing her hand and sitting down across from her.

“Coulda fooled me,” she replied, rolling her eyes at him. He couldn’t help the genuine grin spreading across his face at her action. “I don’t think a gentleman would have given me a $350 ticket when I was just trying to do my job.” She raised her eyebrow at him again.

“Your job?” he asked. “And what might that be?”

“Well, I tried to tell you and you cut me off.” She could feel her anger at him rising again. “Not exactly gentlemanly behavior, you know.”

He felt his cheeks flame in embarrassment but nodded in acknowledgement of her assertion and motioned for her to continue.

“What? No ‘I’m sorry, Swan, you’re right’? No begging me for forgiveness?”

He smirked at her again. “I don’t beg.”

She pursed her lips and he was about to have a serious problem in his pants if she didn’t let up soon.

“Mmhmmm, we’ll see about that,” she murmured. Her eyes had darkened to a deep jade and she ran her tongue along her bottom lip. Yep, definite problem… He adjusted himself again, trying in vain to get comfortable.

“What do you do for a living, Emma? May I call you Emma?”

She rolled her eyes again. Every time she did that, her sex appeal increased ten fold and so did the tension below his belt.

“Might as well,” she exasperated, “since this is supposed to be a date. I’m a bail bonds person,” she continued, “and I was chasing my latest skip. He left his mother on the hook for his bond and she’s about to lose her house if I don’t bring him in.”

“I see,” he frowned. “I can’t do anything about the ticket itself. It’s already in the system. But perhaps we can team up and get him back behind bars without you endangering yourself and others.” He raised his eyebrow at her and was pleased to see her eyes darken further with a come hither look within.

“I don’t think I’d be opposed to that,” she flirted back, her bedroom eyes making it nearly impossible for him to think straight. If he didn’t have her tonight, he was going to lose his ever lovin’ mind.

The flirting between them continued back and forth over the course of the evening as they discussed their proposed partnership to bring in her skip, exchanged light and teasing touches, and swapped stories about David and Mary Margaret.

Killian was nearly driven mad with desire, much like he had been earlier when he ticketed her, between her sultry looks and the way her lips wrapped around her fork as she ate. She stared at him over the candle-lit table as she drew the fork out of her mouth in such an erotic way that he wished she was taking him into her mouth instead. He could just imagine her pink lips wrapped around him, sucking him down, which was not helping him bring his libido under control, at all.

~*~*~

Emma watched him from under her lashes as she ate, doing her best to keep her own breathing under control as she watched him squirm. She knew exactly what she was doing to him; the only problem was, watching him was turning her on too. The way he was looking at her now, he looked like he’d rather be dining on her, rather than the excellent steak on his plate.

His eyes bored into hers, his blue irises nearly swallowed by black, his jaw slack. She chewed and swallowed, never breaking the heated stare between them.

He swallowed heavily. “You wanna get outta here?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, wiping her lips and standing as he pulled out his wallet and tossed a couple hundred dollar bills on the table. He grabbed her hand and all but pulled her out of the restaurant into the lobby and towards the reservation desk.

“Do you mind? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait long enough to get back to one of our places.”

She shook her head, seeing the logic in the plan. Her heart rate was already galloping a mile a minute, but when he drew her into his side and his arm snaked around her while his fingers drew nonsense along her waistline, it increased even more.

Once they were on their way up to the room, he captured her lips and caged her in at the back of the elevator, his hands running along her sides and setting her on fire. She pulled him closer and wrapped her arms around him, burying her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Their tongues battled for dominance as he pulled her leg up over his hip and ground his hardness exactly where she needed him.

~*~*~

Killian swallowed her wanton moan as the ding of the elevator signaled their arrival on their floor. He reluctantly pulled away and touched his forehead to hers as she tried to compose herself before the doors opened. His desire for her threatened to drown him and he didn’t know how he was gonna make it to their room before ravishing her completely.

The doors opened and he grabbed her hand again as they exited the elevator. Moments later, they arrived at their door. Plastering herself to his back, her arms wrapping around his front, she writhed against him as he waited for the lock on the door to disengage. She cupped him through his pants just as he opened the door.

He covered her hand with his own, prompting her to giggle, as they fumbled into the room. There was no time to look around at the fancy amenities the hotel offered, not when he had a bloody goddess in his arms. He spun around in her embrace and caged her against the closed door.

“You’re gonna pay for that,” he growled, prompting another giggle from her.

“Promise?”

“Yes, indeed, Swan,” he murmured before his lips latched onto her neck and sucked hard on her pulse point.

~*~*~

Emma’s head fell back against the door, granting him more access as white hot pleasure spiraled through her and centered in her throbbing core. She reached down and cupped him again, his length and thickness filling her small hand, before undoing his belt and pants.

She pushed his boxer briefs down his hips freeing his cock, then wrapped her hand around him and started stroking him up and down, up and down, up and down. His lips released her and he lowered his forehead to her own, a broken groan erupting from his throat as she continued her ministrations. Having him like putty in her hands was a heady feeling and she couldn’t bite back the smirk at the wicked thought that suddenly entered her mind.

She pushed away from the door, never halting the movement of her hand, forcing him to step backward into the room toward the king sized bed. She caught his sapphire gaze just as his lips crashed to hers again. They continued to shuffle toward the bed as his lips tried to devour hers, his pants falling all the way to his ankles. It was a wonder he didn’t get tangled up in them, pulling them both to the floor. They came to an abrupt halt when his legs hit the edge of the bed and tumbled onto it. He never released her as they fell and she laughed out loud when she landed on his chest.

She looked down at him and was struck by the wonder and awe she saw in his eyes. A sentiment that should make her want to run as far and as fast as possible. She didn’t know where these feelings were coming from but she knew she didn’t want to run from them either. Looking in his eyes, she saw a tender care within them that made her feel safer than she ever had, with any man. She was always very careful to keep her heart behind heavily fortified walls, but being here now, with him, she could feel those walls crashing down, leaving her totally exposed. The awed surprise and devotion she saw in his own cerulean depths told her with absolute certainty that he would catch her when she fell.

She lowered herself to him, much more slowly this time, and gently touched his lips with her own. His hands buried themselves in her hair as their tongues caressed one another, moans and soft gasps coming from them both. Her own hands started working down the buttons on his white dress shirt and stroking the soft chest hair that was exposed as she went. Finding the zipper at the back of the dress, he lowered it as his fingers stroked the exposed skin, kindling an inferno within her.

Once the zipper was down, she raised up again as he pulled the straps of her gown down her arms exposing her breasts to his sight. His eyes darkened impossibly further as he lifted his head and latched onto a pink nipple, teeth nipping and tongue laving as he held her tightly to him. A contented sigh left her as he released her and turned his attention to its twin. The inferno was dying down, replaced with glowing white hot embers, whose warmth filled her all the way through her extremities.

“You taste absolutely divine, my Swan,” he murmured, still showering her breasts with attention. She keened in pleasure before opening her eyes and pushing his jacket and shirt off, exposing his entire chest to her exploring fingers. They danced along his ribs and she couldn’t help her delighted grin when she found a spot just below them that caused him to jump, halting his worship.

“Ahh,” she breathed, “a bit ticklish are we?” She didn’t give him a chance to answer before she grasped his length again and began pumping him in earnest. His eyes rolled in his head as she stroked him from root to tip, swiping her thumb across the head that leaked precum at each pass. Releasing him for a moment, she shimmied out of her gown, leaving it to pool on the floor around her feet before she climbed fully on the bed with him.

Their eyes met, his blue completely swallowed by black, before she began leaving open mouth kisses down his torso, never breaking the spell woven between them in their transfixed gazes. She placed a kiss with a swirl of her tongue on his hip bone, his length rubbing against her cheek. Turning, she placed a kiss to the tip before taking him into her mouth. Their gazes remained locked as she took him as deep as she could before coming back up to start all over again.

“You look so good with my cock in your mouth, love,” he moaned, “Just like I imagined. Just like that, Swan. Yes. So good.”

She went to work on him in earnest, her wicked thought from earlier flicking back through her mind. She bobbed her head up and down his shaft, her tongue swirling about the head before she took him in again. When he bumped the back of her throat, she cupped his balls in her hand and swallowed around him before releasing him with a pop. The groan coming out of him was positively wrecked and she couldn’t help the smug smirk spreading across her face as she looked back up at him.

“You are a wicked vixen, Swan,” he choked out. It took him a moment to match her smirk with one of his own.

“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” she cheeked, before swallowing him down again.

~*~*~

He fell back down on the bed and grabbed the bedspread with both fists, determined to let her have her way with him and not just hold on to her head for dear life as he took his pleasure in her mouth.

She licked and laved and he thought he might die from the exquisite torture of holding himself back as he bumped the back of her throat again and his balls drew up ready to explode down her throat. She released him with a pop again and this time his groan was more of pain than pleasure. He blew out an exasperated breath and caught her eye again. The green orbs danced with mischief and his own narrowed in speculation.

“Just what are you up to, Swan?” he asked, in between heaving breaths.

“You’ll see,” she replied before sucking him down again.

This time he didn’t hold back. He grabbed her hair and began pumping into her mouth, nearly desperate in his need. He could feel his balls drawing up again and was about to release her of his own accord, when she pulled completely off of him once again, wringing a wretched moan from the depths of his soul out of him.

“What do you want, Swan,” he groaned in agony. “I’ll give you anything if you’ll stop teasing me.”

He looked at her gorgeous face, her cheeks flushed, her pupils dilated, her lips parted, red, and swollen. She was just as aroused, but wasn’t to the edge of desperation like he was. His eyes widened as he suddenly guessed her purpose.

She grinned like the cat that caught the canary. “I’ll let you come,” she began, taking him in hand again and stroking up and down, “if you’ll pay my ticket.”

“Gods, woman,” he croaked, “Yes, anything. Just please, let me come,” he begged.

She lowered her head, taking him down one more time and he sighed in relief as he felt her mouth envelope him. That relief was short-lived however as she slowly stroked and swallowed him down. He thrust himself into her mouth and in seemingly no time at all, the tide of ecstasy overwhelmed him as he exploded down her throat. Thick jets of his seed burst from him so furiously after all her teasing that he struggled to remain conscious.

She swallowed every drop before releasing him and licking her lips. The erotic picture she painted roused him enough to grab her by the shoulders and surge upward, crushing his lips to hers. His tongue stroked the seam of her lips, tasting himself before she opened to him, her tongue matching his stroke for stroke. They finally broke away and he touched his forehead to her own, panting for breath.

“You are a minx, Emma Swan,” he confessed.

She smiled, a more genuine one this time before she pecked him on the lips. When she pulled back, he grabbed her.

“Uh, uh, uh, Swan,” he cajoled, drawing her close and kissing her gently. “A gentleman never leaves a lady wanting.”

“And you did say that you’re always a gentleman,” she agreed. He lowered her down to the mattress and looked his fill as his hands traced her curves from her jaw, over her shoulders, down her side and brushing the side of her breast, over her hip and down her long legs.

“You are exquisite, Emma.” His gaze captured her own again and as much as it had been teasing just a few minutes ago, now they were filled with a longing desire that matched his own.

He captured her lips again as his hands continued his exploration. Finally touching her scorching center, he dipped one finger into her depths, drawing it through her drenched folds then raising it to his mouth where he sucked it clean.

“You taste delicious as well,” he purred. Killian moved down her torso, leaving tender kisses and light teasing touches in his wake until she was nearly vibrating in anticipation. Looking back up at the gorgeous woman on the bed with him, a genuine smile broke over his face as he maneuvered himself between her spread legs and inhaled deeply. “And your scent,” he hummed in appreciation before diving in like a man starved. He licked a long stripe through her sodden folds and followed it up with his fingers as she writhed above him. Deciding to torture her a bit as she had him, turnabout is fair play after all, he pulled back and placed a hard and dirty kiss to her throbbing clit. A groan of complaint flew from her lips as his fingers withdrew.

“What the hell, Jones? This is not being a gentleman.” She lifted her head and scowled at him, apparently most displeased with his reciprocation.

“Getting a bit of revenge does not negate my gentlemanly qualities,” he cheeked at her irritation. “Don’t worry, Swan,” he assured her, “As I said before, a gentleman never leaves a lady wanting.” Waggling his eyebrows at her, he placed an arm across her torso, holding her still. He turned and gently bit down on the inside of her thigh before soothing it with his tongue. A tortured moan from Emma, her fists gripping the bedspread, prompted a kiss to her other thigh before he turned his attention to her core again. Lapping at her folds, her juices bathing his tongue, he plunged two fingers into her depths, curling them just right before he wrapped his lips around her clit and sent her flying over the edge. Her cries were music to his ears as her hips bucked against his face. Bringing her down gently, he rested his head on her hip, watching her face as the aftershocks flowed through her.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as beautiful as you when you come, Swan,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her hip bone.

She looked down at him, slightly dazed. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Jones,” she declared. “You did promise to pay my ticket.”

“I did, indeed, Swan,” he conceded. “And as a man of my word,” he put his right hand upon his naked chest, “I will do so.” He surged toward her, capturing her lips and rolling them until she rested on top of him. “Once I’m done with you,” he whispered, pressing kisses along her jaw.

She moaned as he rolled them again, working his way down her jaw to her collarbone and chest before his lips wrapped around her nipple, teasing it to a hard peak before turning his attention to the other.

“So responsive to me,” he murmured against her skin. He felt her grab his hair and tug relentlessly until he released her with a pop and let her draw himself up until he was staring down into veridian orbs that he could easily drown in.

“I need you inside me, please,” she begged, drawing him down into a bruising kiss.

“As you wish,” he cooed against her swollen lips. He looked down at her again as he lined himself up at her entrance. “Do we need anything?”

She shook her head. “I’m clean, I’ve got it covered, and I trust you,” she assured him, arching her back until he barely slipped inside her. His heart soared at her words as he thrust home, sheathing himself within her depths in one stroke.

Killian lowered his forehead to hers, glorying in the words she’d just spoken and in her tight warmth surrounding him. His lips gently stroked her own as he began to move within her. Moving languidly, deliberately, stoking the fire between them, he slowly made love to her. Moans and gasps of pleasure spurred him on, grinding against her every time their hips met. He could stay buried within her, holding her close to his heart, all night, every night. For the rest of his life.

Emma’s legs wrapped around his hips urging him deeper as her walls fluttered around his length. He increased his pace, pushing her higher and higher until their cries of mutual pleasure joined together in an age-old chorus of completion.

Killian shuddered above her as his release pumped into her depths. His hips stilled and he had to steel himself for what he might find when he opened his eyes. David had warned him that his date tended toward being closed off, holding people at arm's length, but that if he gave her a chance, he really thought Killian could find happiness and eventually love with her. And after the evening he had spent with her, he was ready to hand her his heart on a silver platter. She was brilliant, feisty, gorgeous, could hold her own in any situation, brave, strong, his match in every way. But he was so afraid that when he looked into her eyes, he’d see nothing but a citadel hiding, protecting her heart, after getting exactly what she wanted out of him. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

Eyes as green as the verdant forests he’d vacationed in as a lad stared back at him full of hope and trust, tinged with fear. Wanting nothing more than to erase that fear, he cupped her face in his hands and softly pressed his lips to hers, trying desperately to convey his own hope, trust, devotion, and yes, even love for her into his kiss.

When they broke for air he wanted to tell her everything. Everything in his heart. But before he could, she placed her finger on his lips and shushed him.

“Not tonight,” she said, removing her finger and kissing him again softly. She turned in his arms and snuggled back into his embrace. He held her tighter, burying his nose in her golden mane before he let sleep overtake him.

~*~*~

Killian struggled to open his eyes as the old fashioned, jarring ring of a landline telephone sounded from the floor next to his side of the bed. Emma still slept soundly in his arms and he groaned as he turned over and scooted over to the edge, his hand fumbling around on the floor until it closed over a cell phone. He fell back, eyes shut and answered.

“Hello?”

“Killian?” Mary Margaret asked, barely containing her squeal. “What are you doing answering Emma’s phone?”

Killian’s eyes flew open.

Oh, shit!

#oh shit #krystal writes #mostly pwp #prompt fic

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