#but this made me very grumpy
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Y'know, ok, I get Lae'zel not being into Halsin's proposal. I get Wyll not being into it, old-fashioned lad that he is. But Karlach's "Not now, probably not ever, but I guess if you really want to I won't stop you" just makes NO sense to me. Ms. Ma'am was practically twirling her hair asking Halsin if he was into big strong women. She's been beyond touch-starved, is practically chomping at the bit for affection, but she says nO???? Like goddamn girl, if there's anybody at this camp that deserves to ride the bear, it's you.
#sorry#but this made me very grumpy#so did gale's reaction tbh#but that was perfectly in character#I just don't like him XD#anyway not tagging bc I don't want to fight with people#just needed to yell into the void
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Hello Mia! I would really like to read a headcanon with suit saeran where he gets very jealous to see how he would react, please!!
"...I don't like them all ogling you."
Saeran's voice was a strange combination of a growl and a grumble, not nearly as loud and boisterous as you would usually anticipate from him. If you had not been standing just inches away from him, you would have been unable to hear him at all. Not with all the muffled chatter and music flowing throughout the vast ballroom and sneaking its way into your every sense. When you looked over at him, his face was turned away from you, his bangs framing his delicate facial features in a way that highly limited your vision from your current spot. However, the way he crossed his arms tightly over his chest was a clear indicator of his sour mood.
Which was... rather ironic, considering your circumstances.
A ball was not what you would expect to see in this place. Nevertheless, that's the closest term you could come up with to describe the odd event you were obligated to attend. Soft classical music was filling the large space you were all cooped up in. Shiny marble floors so clean you could see your own reflection in them staring back at you with all the confusion and unease that's been plaguing you for the entire duration of this odd get-together. Fancy suits and dresses twirling around the spacious room in an elegant, practiced fashion that looked almost fake to the eye. As if those were just dolls gliding about, under the mere pretense of being fellow human beings. All of it was as beautiful as it was uncomfortable, in a very subtle, anxiety-inducing way. You couldn't quite understand the importance or meaning of it all, but you weren't in the position to ask any questions in the first place.
You definitely wouldn't expect to see a ball, of all things, unfolding in this place. Nevertheless, that's the closest term you could come up with to describe the peculiar event you were obligated to attend. Soft classical music was filling the large space you were all cooped up in. Shiny marble floors so clean, you could see your own reflection in them staring back at you with all the confusion and unease that's been plaguing you for the entire duration of this odd get-together. The fanciest of suits and dresses twirled around the spacious room with elegance and ease that looked almost fake to the eye. As if those were just winded up dolls gliding around, only pretending to be alive human beings. All of it was as beautiful as it was also uncomfortable, in a very subtle, anxiety-inducing way. You couldn't quite understand the importance or meaning of it all, but you weren't in the position to ask any questions in the first place.
Saeran suddenly entered your room a few hours earlier without any warning - not that he would ever give you any - threw some clothing on your face, and demanded that you get dressed right away. He only left you alone for your privacy once you directly expressed the need for it. And you were pretty sure you could see a hint of red flush across his face as he stomped back out into the corridor, grumbling under his breath something about you having some nerve to order him around like that.
This man was a mystery that you still had to solve, it's certain.
It wasn't a surprise that the outfit he gave you was black. Despite this, it was still a noticeable contrast to Ray's undeniable preference for soft, pastel tones that would always complement the pinks and whites scattered all throughout your room. Saeran's choice, on the other hand, was a bold one. Standing out so sharply among the softer shades of your environment, instantly bringing your attention to its deep black hue, pulling you in. Nevertheless, it possessed both a stylish and formal appearance to it. The fabric was both thick and smooth to the touch, and the color gave it a sense of poise and elegance when you slipped into it. It was rather pretty once you did put it on and looked at yourself in the mirror. The outfit fit snuggly around your hips, hugging you in all the right places and exaggerating your figure in a way that left very little to imagination, but still maintained a subtle sense of humility to it nonetheless. Ray's tastes were quite different from this, with soft fabrics flowing freely all around you, almost drowning you in the light frills and lace. Saeran chose the opposite, whether it was intentional on his part or not.
Though, what was rather surprising to you is... the cut. Specifically, in the chest area. It wasn't anything straight out vulgar, but... well, denying that the neckline was of the lower variety would be rather stupid of you. Despite everything, you were very fond of how it looked on you. It fit you perfectly, and you certainly felt quite attractive as you looked over your own reflection thoughtfully. But it still made you think and ponder. The plunging neckline exposed a lot of skin, especially around your collarbones and teasing just the slightest of glances at your chest.
You contemplated whether it was intentional on Saeran's part or not. However, this would be a rather strange outfit for any normal believer. But you doubted you would get any earnest answers from him. And if he did choose this outfit specifically for you, he would never admit that, anyways. Over his own dead body, maybe. Still, the thought made you laugh to yourself.
Either way, Saeran's reaction once he did see you was... rather stilted, surprisingly. So far, he hasn't said anything to you much all throughout the night. It would have been less polarizing for you if he didn't talk your ears off whenever he entered your room to fill his boredom. Saeran was many things, but quiet wasn't one of them. Actually, he barely even looked at you. Besides the initial wide-eyed look he gave you when you first left your room, that is. For the past few hours you have been here, his face has been stubbornly turned away from you. Yet, he refused to let you wander off on your own either, always barking at you to stick close and grabbing at your arm to drag you after him whenever he needed to get somewhere.
It goes without saying that his gruff comment left you feeling rather bewildered. You looked around the ballroom again, trying to determine who specifically was 'ogling' you, as he seemed to say with such certainty. And aside from the occasional glances in your general direction, you didn't catch on to much. And, anyways, isn't it natural for people to look your way sometimes when you're at a party? Then again, Saeran seemed to lack any experience in parties.
"I... don't think anyone is paying much attention to me, Saeran," you acknowledged, peering over at him with a slightly raised brow, attempting to gauge his response. He puffed out his cheeks and tightened his arms around his chest, indicating that he did not really like your answer.
What was his deal today?
"Uh-huh. Sure," Now he sounded downright sarcastic and even a bit angry. This man's mood swings were incredible, that's for sure. He gave you a quick glance that seemed almost offended. Thus, only confusing you further, "I'm sure you are just ecstatic to finally get out of your room and have everyone staring you down like the prince/ss you are. Makes you feel all high and mighty to get all the attention, doesn't it? So much better than dealing with me, is it not?"
Well, now he has completely lost you. He was annoyed, that was clear, but why or what exactly did you have to do with it was way beyond your understanding. It's not like you even came here on your own volition. He was the one who dragged you out here without as much as asking you or informing you of anything beforehand. And now he's being all petty and even insulting you for that?
"With all due respect, Saeran, I have no idea what you are talking about. No one is staring at me, and it's not like I even had a choice on whether or not I should attend... whatever this is," you gesture around the ballroom briefly, your eyes squinting slightly because of the bright lights coming down from the shiny chandeliers above. Frankly, if you had a choice, you would rather stay in your room. Being around this many people you didn't know made you far too nervous for your liking. So him acting so accusatory with you for nothing did get on your nerves a bit.
After all, you may be patient and on the quieter side of things, but that doesn't mean you would let him unfairly disrespect you like that. If it came to it, you could stand up for yourself just fine, and he wouldn't get any confrontational response from you, either.
In a way, it almost felt like dealing with a needlessly snarling cat.
A low grumble rumbled deep in his throat, almost like a growl of sorts, but it seemed like he was much more subdued in his behavior at this event. It's possible that he didn't want to create a scene in front of everyone. Or, in front of someone specific in particular. Either way, the cold glare he shot your way could probably turn you into stone if he had the ability to do so. You remained calm and quiet despite his unspoken threat, meeting his stare with a calm and quiet demeanor. You weren't about to get angry and petty with him in return, but entertaining his blatant disrespect that seemed more like he was just dumping his sour mood onto you was not something you would just shut up and take, either.
You had respect for both Saeran and yourself.
For a long time, the two of you just stared into each other's eyes without moving or speaking. A scene that probably looked rather bizarre from an outsider's perspective, now that you thought about it. Especially with how increasingly irritated Saeran looked, wordlessly seething at your refusal to back down under his intimidating presence. While also not giving him a chance to lash out at you fairly, since you weren't doing anything hostile or outright disrespectful. From time to time, you seriously contemplated whether he actually wanted you to snap back at him for any reason or another. Well, whatever that reason may be, you were not about to satisfy those desires of his.
Eventually, his gaze lowered before yours does, traveling down your body, and you realized that he was, in fact, now staring at your chest. A notion that felt both bizarre and flustering in a way that made your heart skip a beat and your cheeks heat up significantly. But, you remained still. Mostly out of pride. Or maybe you had a deep sense of curiosity, wanting to see where this will lead you. It was Saeran who first backed off, which was unusual. You saw his throat bob up and down as he swallowed and took a step back from you, once again, turning away from you. For the countless time today.
You began to think that he was intentionally doing this.
"...You could have put on a jacket with that, you know," he muttered rapidly in your general direction without actually focusing on you. Then, he cleared his throat awkwardly, his hand tugging at his collar a bit, in a way that looked like he was merely adjusting it for more comfort. Only, you never saw him fiddling with his collar like that before. No matter how much of a tight fit on him it was.
That was when it dawned on you.
You glanced down at yourself, examining your outfit from your own perspective. Certainly, it was quite revealing. But definitely nothing extreme. However, it was, undeniably, the most amount of skin you've shown in front of him so far.
...Was he embarrassed, perhaps?
The idea seemed amusing to you. And, for some reason, his more reserved demeanor tonight gave you a small boost of confidence you don't usually possess around him.
"-Why? You told me to put it on, so I did as you asked. I figured you wouldn't like me putting my own spin on it," you smiled, leaning slightly closer to him, in a way that would let you lightly touch his arm. And the small shiver his body gave out in response to your action was one that did not escape your watchful eye, "You did say I have bad taste in clothes. Doesn't it satisfy you to see me following your orders with no issue?"
He tightened his jaw, giving you another pointed glare. He was even more furious than before when you called him out like that: "Don't put words into my mouth, toy."
Despite it sounding like a warning, it was a warning you intentionally ignored.
"I thought you wanted an obedient toy, no?"
Your jab seemed to be causing him to snap. He grabbed your elbow and started to drag you away from the bright lights and happy chatter you were bothered by beforehand, without giving you a chance to react. All you could do was yeep from surprise and stumble after him, though you did not try to put up a fight regardless. In fact, you found yourself... grinning ever so slightly as you followed him along, the flutter in your chest increasing in its intensity and making your legs feel lighter with every step you took. In a way, you obtained what you desired. A break from all the randevu you were desperate to escape from.
And maybe you were really a bit weird.
Suddenly, you're in a dimly lit hallway, your back pressing against the wall, and Saeran's breath warming up your cheeks from his hypnotic proximity. The party's muffled sounds reach you just over the door, but they feel like they're so far away at the same time. The party is the last thing you thought about when those cat-like mint irises of his were boring into yours inches away from you, making you want to drown in their alluring hue without a second thought.
"-Oh, so now you're suddenly all quiet," Saeran's words reached your ears with much delay, and your head went blank as you felt the intensity of his presence so close to you, clouding your every sense with him and him alone. He seemed to enjoy your frazzled state of mind, though, judging by the cocky smile on his lips that he gave you.
You gulped. Then, you found yourself saying the very first thing that came to mind without even thinking twice about it: "...Just enjoying the view, is all."
There was another pause where you two just stared at each other's eyes. This time, he seemed to be baffled as he blinked at you repeatedly and didn't have an immediate response to your little quip. You couldn't help but think of how pretty his long lashes looked as he did that.
He got you to act stupid for him exactly as he wanted, and he didn't even realize it.
"Don't be coy with me," Saeran eventually hissed out, seemingly deciding to take a head-on approach to try and hide his puzzlement with your behavior. He leaned even further into you, his chest now brushing over yours from his proximity, and some of his hair fell onto your forehead, tickling the skin with every tiny brush. A strong scent of his cologne filled your nostrils, making it impossible to focus on anything but him. He took up your every sense. Vision, hearing, scent, touch. He was filling all of it.
It wasn't as bothersome to you as he seemed to think.
"That kind of trick may have worked on Ray, but it will not fool me. So don't even try charming your way out of this, you brat," he carried on with his tirade, completely disregarding the impact he was having on you.
"-You seemed rather interested in my chest earlier, though."
You were clueless about what you were doing, God. It seemed like all the sense of fear and apprehension had disappeared. And while your mind did comprehend that you were probably getting too bold for your own good, you just... didn't really care at all.
Saeran's dumbfounded wide-eyed look was a sight to behold. Part of you had the urge to pull him even closer and kiss that look off of his face.
Maybe then he would finally understand how much you liked him, not just Ray.
"I- You-" The way he stumbled over his own words was almost endearing. You definitely surprised him with that one. But you did not push it any further, nor did you tease him about it. Instead you just watched him closely. Your figure was almost subconsciously glanced at again, and then his face flushed dark crimson and he pulled away abruptly, covering the lower half of his face with his palm and looking away. His reaction was so typical that it was almost cute in some strange way, "Y-You've got some nerve! What is there to look at, anyway!? It's just some skin. You must be very arrogant to think so highly on yourself."
The denial has arrived.
Surprisingly, you did not oppose it. You merely shrugged and gave him a small coy smile: "It's okay, Saeran. I would find myself staring, too, if I could see some of your collarbones peeking out. It's natural."
"-Don't be gross. And I know you're lying, anyways," he frowned at that, giving a look that seemed almost offended, in a way. He huffed, crossed his arms over his chest, and looked away from you again, seemingly not wanting to meet your gaze for whatever reason. You couldn't help but think that his posture looked less threatening and more closed off this time around, "I'm not like you. And I don't need you to pretend to fawn over me, either."
That caused you to frown a little.
Did he... not think that he could be attractive to you? That thought caused you to feel sad. Before you could think about it, you took a small step towards him and reached out with your hand.
"You are very beautiful, Saeran. I'm not lying," you said, your fingertips brushing over his tie just a slight bit. It's likely that he wouldn't even notice that touch beneath all that fabric of his suit. But it's the gesture that counted.
He stared at you again, for the countless time today. However, it didn't last long. With a small huff, he grabbed at your wrist and pulled your hand away from his chest. His touch was far gentler now, though, his fingers just slightly squeezing around your skin.
"You are an idiot," you heard him mumble, followed by a rustle of fabric as he let go of you completely. Before you could voice your rebuttal, a dark form flew into your face, making you squeak from surprise.
It's soon apparent that the mysterious form was not a ghost, but rather Saeran's suit jacket that was flung carelessly over your head. As you pulled the clothing down, you heard him grumble again, though this time in a more commanding tone: "Put that on. And I want you to wear it on you for the rest of the night, you hear me?"
As he got closer to you, his finger abruptly pressed into the center of your chest, making you slightly gasp.
"-That," throughout it all, he maintained direct eye contact with you while muttering, "-is only for me to see. Got it?"
You nodded without hesitation, feeling your heart beating in your chest like a million horses galloping down the race track: "Yes."
"That's a good prince/ss."
That smirk he gave you as he pulled away made you feel as weak in the knees as it frustrated you. You were planning to get him back for that. Your momentary obedience did not mean you were going to be some perfect doll for him. You were merely enamored by the brief but undeniable spark of connection between the two of you. He may have been a tough guy to crack, but you were persistent.
Though, as you went through the remainder of the night, you couldn't but ponder...
...Was that the first time he called you 'prince/ss', without it being a mockery of Ray's pet name for you?
#mystic messenger#mysmes#mysme#mm#saeran choi#suit saeran#mystic messenger saeran#saeran x reader#suit saeran x reader#WE GETTING BACK TO WRITING FOR MM WITH THIS ONE 🗣🗣🗣❗❗❗❗💥💥🔥#was super fun to write!! i love this grumpy little guy with all my heart#so i kinda wanted to make it more spicy#but#thing is#i interpret suit as the LEAST capable of making a move on you i'm sorry 😭#he's all bark and no bite#you'll have ray making out with you sooner than suit will give you a single peck#don't get me wrong#he's very infatuated with you#it's just that he's a tangled mess of emotions#also!!! i hope i made it gender neutral eugh#like if you're a guy he would appreciate seeing your collarbones too!!#guys' collarbones are so pretty u kidding???#all jokes aside you can imagine yourself in a dress or a suit - it's up to you!!
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Sims 2 CC Mega Post
I say 'mega' but there really isn't a whole lot, I just didn't wanna split it up. Anyway, yeah, I mostly and normally and prefer to make Sims 4 stuff, but I made some Sims 2 stuff for me last year and this and I figured, may as well share it. Most of these require outside meshes so keep that in mind, Sims 2 CC downloading is a bloody nightmare.
Alex Skin
So I made a custom skin with tattoos for Alex as it seemed simple enough to do. Ain't gonna look perfect, but it looks fine from a distance, same resources I used for my Sims 4 versions, so I did vector the rose and skull. I based the skin off these default replacements. You don't NEED these, but they make it so that everyone matches. Yes that site requires an account and login, it's NSFW, it has body hair and works with nudity. Because obviously I play with mods like that. I made the skin look right for Fit/Thin/Fat but I didn't bother with any age but adult nor did I bother with female, because, idc. I THINK this is Alex's hair mesh, but idfk, I have so many that look like this.
It also works in Castaway Stories, as does all of these, because I used them in it too. :> That made Alex the palest guy on the island as all the skin tones in Castaway Stories were shifted to one tone darker per. I manually put my replacement skin in that too, but I didn't have the darkest, so no body hair to them.
Streaked Jack Hair
You need this mesh to make this work. I made this for myself as I didn't really like anything else I had for him, and this is Sims 2, so I went with earlier hair, and I liked how this mesh looked. Loosely based on like this hair. I didn't bother with other ages beyond adult again. I would have if I decided to de-age him and send him to university, but I did that with Otto instead.
Again also works in Castaway Stories, as I used it, again. It's easy to import Sim's faces from 2 into the stories games.
Awsten Tricolor Hair
Awsten Red Hair
You need this mesh to make this work. The bright green in that is also great and I used that for him at first. These are his eyes too, or rather his right eye. No screenshots of the red hair, but it's just a bright plain red in case you prefer it. I made this hair as it looked okay with the colors kind of being randomly spread around the mesh. This is his outfit btw. Again only works with adult as far as I'm aware.
BONER Shirt
R&R Shirt
NoRegRetsShirt
JALEXShirt
BMTHShirt1
BMTHShirt2
BMTHShirt3
BMTHShirt4
You need this mesh to make these work. All of these are Everyday fashion only by account of only the Everyday category having the option for separates and these are all tops. Don't ask me what pants I use, I have so many downloaded, but these work with all of them.
As it turns out I didn't take screenshots of all of these ingame, but maybe these help with that.
PTV Hoodie
DropDead Hoodie
You need this mesh for the PTV hoodie. I don't THINK the DD hoodie needs anything external, I compared it to a vanilla mesh and it seemed to line up. I don't know, I made it last December and I didn't log everything I did. Like the shirts above, Everyday category only as they are tops.
As a bonus, here's some misc Sims 2 screenshots to hit the image limit, including this stuff and with no context to my game. I know most people on modern computers play with The Ultimate Collection, but I installed it via discs, and a few ISOs as I didn't feel like spending $30+ for a few missing stuff packs on eBay. :) Pretty sure those ISOs are why my game is British and I have to always manually set the clock and a few other small things every time I load it. Not a big deal to me, just felt I'd mention for clarity. Castaway Stories is from an ISO too as have you SEEN those prices on eBay?! I have Sims 3 on Disc too, 100%, never made any CC for it tho. I love how Sims 2 was out at the peak of, ahem, mid to late 2000s culture so a lot of CC for it is of it's time in the best possible way. I kept this theme going with adding in custom music that ONLY existed from before 2009 (so 2008 is my cut-off date) and it's fun only hearing music of the era ingame. :) I DID make stuff for Sims 1 too years ago but I don't know how I even really did it so idk how to make more and also I don't care that much. I wanted to try playing with Alex and Jack in Sims 1 too but I kept getting fucked up files that didn't work or look right and I didn't know what I needed to do to make it right and I didn't wanna waste more time than I already did trying to make their faces. I do have semi-not ugly faces and outfits for a couple others tho.
Oh yeah, all this stuff is made in the Body Shop and GIMP for textures.
Whole SimFileShare Folder
#sims 2#sims 2 cc#ts2#ts2cc#sims 2 download#sims 2 cas#alex gaskarth#awsten knight#jack barakat#bring me the horizon#pierce the veil#Sims 2 is chaos and drama and no one attracts chaos and drama in my game like Alex and Jack do#Their house is a haven for enemies to come by and steal their newspaper knock over their trash can and pick fights#So the yard is often a biohazard of trash and inside isn't much better as both of them are slobs and Jack is lazy#Also they're engaged to each other despite both their aspirations hating commitment go figure#Jack did it I didn't they just somehow decided to accept despite getting negative memories for it lmao#Alex is a crybaby who's hard to satisfy and Jack just wants to make out and woohoo he's a lot easier#But they both have a lot of enemies who they fight a lot especially Jack as it feels like no one like pranks in this game#And I use him to attack Sims who are mean to Alex a lot too as Alex gets a lot of shit from townies for some reason#Awsten likes them as he likes to eat trash and also he's a werewolf and he just doesn't seem to care about much of anything#I had a case where Rian kept coming over and inviting himself in to make out and woohoo with Alex while beating up Jack#Now I got Jack and Rian to kinda get along but Rian is grumpy and it doesn't take much from Jack to set him off#Otto also hates Alex and likes Jack but again drama drama drama#I totally get why Sims 2 was really popular with middle aged moms in its heyday its like a soap opera#Geoff exists too as a werewolf as he wanted to be one and I just used him to turn Awsten as well#I brought Awsten and Geoff on vacation with Alex and Jack as I wanted to meet Bigfoot and have Jack flirt with him#But I needed mods to do that grrr#Also Alex got pregnant on that vacation but we don't have to talk about that it made him very difficult to work with#But he kind of already is a little bitch all the time anyway#sims castaway stories
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Do you like all the Springtraps 🤨
Or Just springtrap :^
Ofc there are a few exceptions, but in general- Yes, I do like all the Springtraps!!! :O
#inbox#idk but i deeply enjoy his character despite all the things he was responsible for#the fnaf 3 era was surrounded by mystery bcs no one knew who he was until ppl found out about the minigames#then boom. he's the killer. he's the only f reason why everything happened. then they gave him a proper name.#and that made it much more terrifying beyond the good and bad endings. at least to me#because it was him the whole time. the best part is that he's not even William Afton anymore#Springtrap is a whole different thing n though there are few canonical aspects that let you know what he would generally sound and act like#-there's still enough space for interpretation. Some people view him as revengeful n insane. that he cannot think beyond his rage#he can be regretful or pure evil. he can also be grumpy n not care about anything at all. he can also be very pathetic if you will#i mean no. he's quite pathetic. love her for that <3#and some think he's silly but i'm pretty sure that's canon lmao#anyway. he's so cool
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i wasn't prepared for the look of absolute scorn and disdain levelled at me by dolly then for daring to crunch down on my crisps
#literally popped her head up and glowered before tucking back up into a ball#she's such a funny little creechur#don't worry dolly-olly you'll remember that i'm a very late night snacker soon enough#“p don't anthropomorphise your animals! that's not what her looking at you means!”#she made grumpy airplane ears at me - trust me she was scornful
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carrying over from this post, somewhat, but-- the added struggle of finding nice outfits to build on the costume idea with, only to have your muse start fighting with you on them, because of certain details fff--
#{|ooc post|}#i know i've got the rest of the month to brain storm this-- but fixation is lowkey happening lmao--#anyways tho~... Micchan is over here being grumpy with me now-- because the outfits i'm leaning toward mostly involve crop tops lol--#well that-- and because i'm very tempted to include a touch of makeup...#which made him mad because of straying from more scary elements-- 💀#(he's at least content with the accessories i've been eyeing tho lmao)
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ngl i think i kind of was a genius for being like 'yeah this character is a scary killyou cannibal scary killer who scary kills you' and then realizing that the way my worldbuilding works out is that there's a nonzero chance that if you leave literally any body parts over they can just come back, depending on what they believe in their heart of hearts can kill them. Of course she'd start eating her kills. She probably tried normal stuff first and then realized it didn't work and she had to try harder if she wanted to actually keep them dead.
#red rambles#im working on a character who i made up years and years ago and wasnt even happy with then because he didnt seem to have enough like#interior thoughts he was just like a guy who killed people when he was stressed and his life was constantly stressful and then he killed on#person too many and they were like 'this is fucking untenable and he has to die' and then they killed him#which is soooooooooo absolutely nothing honestly. Like it works as a barebones summary but i want to stress there was actually straight up#nothing else there. the entire rest of his whole whatnot was just being entangled with Haven who is a different character who at the time#ALSO felt unsatisfyingly lacking in interiority but at lesat he had really complex motivations and action flowcharts. that werent just 'i#get grumpy and i just go kill some random person with no regard for what the consequences will be and then i am so mean and i kill you'#now theres a lot more happening. i really didnt. like.#okay so i had a Backstory worked out but it was vague because i didnt know what the fuck he WANTEDDDDDDD right like. i had no motivations a#literally all except 'oohhh i kill people ooohhh i like killing people ooohhh im erratic i kill people' and the background i HAD was like.#Upper class scion of some rich family whose family honest to god just did not like him very much and also [gestures vaguely] i guess he#maybe kicked dogs or something and then he ??nebulous timeline meets haven and then kills his sister or kills his sister and very quickly#thereafter meets haven but i usually lean toward the former because haven LOVES convincing people to kill their whole families its like#cathartic for him because he would love to kill his entire family but physically cannot do it. but like kind of the implications of this#as far as i was concerned given this is set in the mid 1800s was like. ehhh he's getting away with this because he's rich white and male an#it pays to turn a blind eye to his indiscretions or w/e. a genderswap means that she'd be subject to a lot more scrutiny on basis of like#misogyny. LOL. and i already had the preexisting 'hates half sibling' (i genderswapped the sister into a brother because why not) and 'hate#parents' and 'parents strongly dislike her' and 'unsettling' and it worked nicely to start giving me actual fucking. Literally anything to#work with there. because it means that by going off with Haven she walks out of one situation where she has like 0 agency into another one#and like to be clear i respect anyone who is sitting around in haven's general vicinity for snapping and just starting to kill people. me t#but this works. SOOOOOOOOOO much better for real#im still working the kinks out but like also this means that she wins. she wins like multiple times actually. she comes closer to killing#haven than anyone since he learned what fucking species he was and causes him more trouble in the interest of getting the FUCK out of there#than anyone else has and then she fucking gets what she was going for against literally every effort haven could've made over ~five decades#get owned loser.#every time i draw her i cant help it i write some shit like PLEASE JUST GET DIVORCED on it even though i wrote the fucking narrative i know#it will never fucking happen and thats why she does all this shit instead#in another world she'd be like the wildly capable owner of Raytheon 2 or some other shit like that. like she'd never be a nice or good#person but she wouldn't be dead. god she could be in charge of a country or some shit. Alas. Please get divorced.
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Laios wouldn't judge me or make me feel bad for being excited about things I enjoy.
#victor beeps#sometimes i feel guilty for being happy#i hate feeling like too much all the time#i always feel too weird for my best friend. i could tell i was annoying her tonight but switching topics so much#and when i got in i was infodumpping to my mom about resident evil and she just waved me off#we were watching that ''welcome to raccoon city'' movie and it made very grumpy#NOT the topic for today but i do NOT like that movie#just. i wouldn't get rid of my autism for anything it's a part of me and makes me *Me*#but it is still a disability and makes a lot of things hard for me and makes me feel Not So Great sometimes#i love my best friend and gc friends so much but i still feel like i can't be 100% myself around them#but laios would finally be that person!#he'd *get* me. we'd just get each other so well#he wouldn't get annoyed when i spoke really fast and bounced around on topics#he wouldn't wave me off or just want me to shut up#i think i'd finally feel truly loved and accepted and wanted#i didn't expect laios to remind me so much of myself!#to everyone else he's weird and off-putting and annoying#and i am too#but to each other we're so wonderful and perfect#we could be in love with each other in peace without ever worrying that we're too much for the other
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apocalypse
#i really missed drawing in mspaint! this is my first mspaint drawing in a long long time. its also of the most predictable characters ever#but my friend fizz recently asked me why i liked gallus so much in the first place (because i am the only gallus fan.) this made me rewatc#basically every episode he's in so that i could think about like...really why i DO like him. at the time i told avery that its because i#just tend to like grumpy characters (which they said like grumpy bear lol - i do love grumpy bear and am a huge care bears fan. another#good example is susie deltarune or karkat. i really like them both.)#but then why don't i have an obsession with like...short fuse? or gilda? or smolder?#(although i do actually adore gilda and smolder...)#but its probably because gallus gets the most emotional focus out of any young 6 member (excluding maybe yona?) especially in the episode#hearth's warming club. this episode (just his telling of his backstory really) is very heart-wrenching to me. more so now that i really#like him and have created a whole characterization for him outside of the show.#and there are other things...like the fact that he's a boy character in a show that doesn't have an apparent misogynistic culture#or the fact that he's from a different kingdom so he's experiencing equestria for the first time#or the fact that i sometimes...personally feel excluded not from wider society but also my family. so i relate to him. and i wrote these#feelings i have into summerfree! ive been doing it since i was 17! his original iteration was named LYRICAL PROSE...but he's always just#sort of been me trying to express how comforted i feel by my little pony. my old oc tickle (and my current oc daisy chain and my ponysona#milkweed) also do this for me.#its like free therapy :3#gallus#summerfree apple#june 12th 2023#june 13th 2023
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love going down rabbit holes on spotify and finding new music 🫂
#rambles#also scrolling through pinterest#it’s 2am…i need to go to bed#idk how active i’ll be in the next few weeks tbh#my sister is moving in soon and my mental state is already. deteriorating <3#idk i just feel very weird lately. and angry and grumpy and tired#the heat is making me feel so sick too :(#i’ll pop in here and there i think#i made a couple sims that i love so i’ll probably post some screenshots of them tomorrow !
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Today really has been a big Fuck You from beyond regarding writing.
Like. This entire last few months have, but that's been reasonable. I've been busy. The last week less so, but I got sick. I get it, life.
Why'd you have to be mean on the one day where I pick up a document.
(Was it because I started a new WIP? It was probably the new WIP.)
#my life be like#writing#pix being overly dramatic again#tbf there was actually a big thing in the form of a fire across the street from me#but the moping is mostly coming from the fact that i just woke up from an 'accidental' power nap#('accidental' because i made the effort to set up a playlist to listen to and turned off my mouse and keyboard so as not to drain battery#so like not accidental at all really but also i didn't wanna nap)#also nothing bad happened re the fire before anyone frets#i'm fine and safe and it's been out for hours now#it was just rather stressful at the time#but i'm good#it was just a very weird bit of cosmic timing that i'd started a new wip when it all happened#so i've been semi-silly grumpy about not being allowed to write
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y’know…it’s perfectly alright to pronounce place names in the language you are speaking, even if the place names are from another country.
this post brought to you by my hearing a youtuber pronounce ibiza as “eye-bee-tha”. like…no. half-right is all-wrong. like, congrats on trying to do the z but it’s a long i sound. (“ee-bee-tha”)
also, hilariously, neither of those are how it’s said locally (the catalan name is Eivissa -> əjˈvisə which i am not going to transliterate into anglophone-friendly sounds)
#so very tired and grumpy#also when anglophones insist on saying barthelona like a) you’re not getting the c sound right and#b) if you want to say it like a local…don’t do the th sound#(and don’t get me started on anglophones describing spain spanish as hAviNG a LiSp like#no that’s not a speech impediment it’s a phoneme#and (at least in my mouth) the english th and the spanish c z sounds are made in different places#th is more dental and c or z is more toungue not even touching the palate and farther back)#ANYWAY so tired#randomness
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i am going to be so abnormal about good omens season 2
#go2#good omens#this is the first thing thats genuinely made me feel more than like. a second of happiness in the last year#literally exactly what i need is a fussy angel and grumpy demon being in love and cozy and solving a weird mystery for 6 episodes#im so hopeful it wont really involve any sibling/parent-child dynamics#which will make it the only piece of media ive tried to consume in the last year that doesnt make me physically nauseous and very upset#text
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tonight. I complete the balding gay boyfriend collection. I will right the wrong to which I was made to bear witness to. I've three of four men romanced already. all that remains is kissing that sad little wizard...and moonrise towers is just on the horizon.
#bg3#thoughts about media#I got jantar to act 3 and then paused his campaign to speedrun a campaign in which I'm romancing gale.#gale is very cute. and silly. I've never met a man more polite about his desperation to get pegged than he.#I'm getting better at breezing through the game honestly. I'm almost at moonrise and it's only taken 30ish hours.#once I get the wizard kisses- I will go back and fully finish jantar's campaign.#I just realised it would be SOOO easy for me to be the change I needed to see.#it's making me more confident about finishing all the romances honestly.#not sure which of the girls I'll pick first. I'm inclined to choose lae'zel because she's probably my favourite girl.#...but because of that I also sort of want my honour run to be completed with her romanced.#I've decided I'll romance SH with the durge since she'd probably be the only person not offended by the stupid romance implications.#it's not even the story I have made up for MY bhaalspawn- but I still don't want to see anyone get upset :(#so really- I have just two characters left to come up with.#I'm not sure if I'm going to romance minthy yet.#the origins are my priority. halsin just got lucky that astarion isn't bothered by him.#*sigh* in a better world... barcus would be amongst the men we could kiss in this game...#want that grumpy gnome so fucking bad.
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In my head Severus and Sirius are squabbling siblings. I like the idea of these two idiots being yin and yang twins. Lol!
#so much alliterations#headcannon#funny headcannons#one day I want to do a fan art of them too being grumpy about having to work together#I don’t know why I alwats found that scene in GoF where theh meet for the second time in the hospital wing funny#and made me think of two sulky siblings#and after that scene I can’t get out of my head that they look very similar and alike#I mean that’s how I imagined it#severus snape#severus
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seeing another transmasc named max reblog a camp camp post of mine i felt such an indescribable and strong kinship in that moment and now i'm very much wondering just how many of us are out there
#camp camp#cc max#my middle name is 'maxwell' after him#the most common hc I see for max is trans bisexual which means either he just strongly gives those vibes#or a very specific kind of person relates to him#and being a trans bisexual myself I'm inclined to believe the latter#how many trans men did this character indirectly name?#fuck I'm p sure it was me writing stuff abt max being trans that made me realize I was#grumpy hoodie child made me a man lmao
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