#but this is perhaps less so
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diogenes moment
#perry the platypus#dr doofenshmirtz#behold a man#at some point it must be acknowledged that I will post somewhat niche things on this here hellsite#but this is perhaps less so#happy valentine's day to those who celebrate#sincerely yfn aroace
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"No, Lamb, I do not fear Him. I do not fear you sending me to Him. Narinder and I will always meet, it is but the natural order of things, for War will always bring Death its harvest."
had another go at Shamura again....and just a little chat between them and the Lamb :) Decided to give Shamura a sickle for fun....to match with Narinder's scythe....just some silly agrarian tools of death!
#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#cotl shamura#cult of the lamb fanart#my art#I was looking at Shamura's lil frown and I was like OH.....sort of reminds me of the jaws of a Japanese Oni mask......#so they're inspired by that now lol#is this dialogue from my fic? perhaps....perhaps not#shamura's just kinda the type to say cryptic shit that doesn't make sense right. smile.#one day I'll like. do less sloppy fanart but for now.....take this#cotl narinder
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[Super exciting!]
When you get that good topic when hanging out with Volo in pokemas
#ウォロ#Pokemon legends arceus#Volo#PLA#pokemas#fanart#mine#pokemon#a little screenshot redraw#kinda#I blocked in the shadows before putting down base colours and oh my goodness this looked Ominous#I think I made it less so#a bit less#perhaps
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I think it's so relatable to see trans women and transfem and generally people who no longer have a testosterone-dominant system describing what it was like to have a testosterone-dominant system. I find that often, when they talk about being angry, depressed, irate, or just irritable, I relate because that was me before I went on testosterone. I was so fucking angry and irate and genuinely unpleasant to exist around because I didn't have testosterone.
See, I think instead of estrogen or testosterone being the "bad, angry" hormone, it's more like... of course trans people who need hormones are going to be unpleasant before getting hormones - both your body and your brain require that you have a certain level of hormone balance. Of course somebody like me was fucking furious all the time, the brain does weird shit when its needs aren't fulfilled!
This isn't about criticizing any one group of trans people, rather, I encourage people to remember that ascribing inherent qualities to certain traits (e.g., saying "estrogen is such a horrible hormone!") isn't necessarily good. It's absolutely fine to talk about personal experiences with pre-transition, I do that all the time! The only issue is bioessentializing hormones, in essence, ascribing inherentness to traits we often share.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#this is not to discourage people from expressing negative things about their being pre-transition - again that's not what i mean#i talk very negatively about my experiences being pre-transition because it WAS negative. i suffered every day pre-transition...#...but i still look at people going in the direction i ran away from like a man on fire and i find peace in it...#...because that means my experiences weren't horrible for *everyone*. there is something worth it to other folks...#...so i feel as though i have less personal responsibility for Upkeeping Order or whatever...#...somebody has HAPPILY taken over my shifts and i have perhaps taken theirs with similar enthusiasm...#...and that doesn't mean any of it is Inherently Bad
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tennis
#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#eyestrain#?#i like shapes and colors AND patterns#fun combinations of all of those things#anyway i feel like i don’t talk in the tags on this blog as much as i used to. i need to do that more how else will i make more ppl#parasocially in love w me…..#so hmm. i graduate in less than a month which is exciting bc school sucks ass and i want to be done w it forever (until i decide i want#to go for a masters that is T_T) and have u guys heard abt the mcrtour? making mefeel fucking craaazyyyyyy yes i’m gonna try for#tickets. and perhaps even visit some beloved mutuals in the process. and fool that i am i never finished my last scarf but am wanting#to start a new one but this one is for someone so perhaps i will have more motivation to like. actually finish it lol. knitting btw. i am#not very good at it but it is a good skill to have and crocheting is my mother’s thing and i like the look of knit better. i got yarn the#other day and i was like ough am i remembering their favorite color correctly but if not i can just die forever or smth. i’m not sure#what pattern i wanna do or if i want to add a second color or anything but like i have a small collection of yarn that i got when it was#on sale like crazy so i’m sure i can find smth that will complement my base color if need be#okay i’m done goodbye
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I love it when magic systems exact a price!!! I love it when magic systems require you to give up something, to be less human, to cause deaths of others or to risk the chance you will go mad or destroy yourself!!!! I love when the epic workings of great and powerful magic come with a horrific cost!!!!
That shit RULES!!!!!!!!
#tlt#wot#wheel of time#it’s mostly those two that I’m thinking about for this post but also of course at this moment I am always#thinking about#bbc merlin#which I will admit the original show perhaps paid less interested attention to its magic system than the fandom does#but merlin fandom magic meta is one of my favorite things about the fandom so#it counts#worldbuilding#fantasy#fantasy worldbuilding#tropes#caitie speaks
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so the thing about followers is that by the "numbers" i hit 90k a while ago but my follower list looks mainly like
I'd need a full time intern just for deleting bots and deactivateds to get any actual clue of how many of yall are in here
(also shoutout to the real people in there)
#its..... something#i dont have time to get in there with a weedwacker alas#if you asked me to guess i'd say the real number of active followers is somewhere around 30-50k#or perhaps less? idk the peanut butter poll got 9 thousand votes so it might be as few as 10k
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I write fragile on a dozen boxes salvaged from recycling I forgot to take out before I knew I was moving and my hand shakes even more each time. The lines bleed off the box corners and into me. I'm fragile, you see.
#poem#poetry#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#long story short i have made choices in my life such that my only option when i hit this present juncture#was to move home and i am not handling the lack of choice well#in my first year living here especially i bought beautiful fragile things because i love beautiful fragile things and because i thought#i was on the path that my next move would be my last one. i was going to buy a home and that would be it and i'd only need to pack up#my whole life once more and so i could justify the vintage vases and such. but the past couple of years have been brutal on me#and i've made choices that i stand by and choices that i don't and now i'm moving home and it's less than ideal but i'll make it work#perhaps this is short story long#anyway. before i first moved in my roommate texted me from home depot because she and her boyfriend were at home depot#and i was at work at the time. and she wanted to know what color i wanted my room because they were gonna paint my room that day#and i didn't have time to make a decision and she's an artist with a great eye so i sent her my pinterest decor board and said maybe a gree#like this kind of green? and she got this gorgeous green reminiscent of a paris green that looks amazing with all my art on the walls#but i just had to take the art down. i'm in the middle of the task actually. and now it's just this big green expanse#and i'm not feeling so good about leaving this place#but the way i felt so safe and so loved when i got that text and when i got here and saw that the room was painted bc they wanted me to sta#the past few years have been not so good in a lot of ways like i said but this place was an island of peace for me when things were rough#anyway. fragile. thanks for listening
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[this became much longer than i intended whoops]
u know i think it would’ve been much better if the ode of resurrection was not shown to us immediately, and wasn’t a main part of their culture. have people die throughout the archon quest, make us believe that there’s no saving them. kill off kachina at the start and convince us that she’s the first playable character in genshin thats not alive.
build up these bonds, forge these friendships, make us care.
just to take it all away
that’s war.
but there’s a tiny flame, that glimmer of hope. maybe it’s something the pyro archons have been working on, passing it down to their successors. something mavuika has been working on. yeah u heard that right she’s actually doing something wow get citlali in there to help out. get the whole goddamn tribe involved idc
there’s a scramble to find the last of the heroes. they don’t want to force it or fuck something up but they’re running out of time. the abyss is coming. it will consume the nation. they need to fucking buckle up and get down to it.
they could probably still go into the night kingdom to search for kachina, so that mualani can get her ancient name. or it can occur under entirely different circumstances. haven’t given that much thought yet. do they find her?
do they find her and can’t actually bring her back to the surface?
for the next part, we’re gonna have to shake things up because we need the captain on our team sooner rather than later. how that happens is up in the air but regardless, we put aside our differences to save natlan.
so, we help the captain find old dragon tech. maybe we enlist the help of kinich and ajaw, maybe we go into ochkanatlan, tie some of that shit in. we can take iansan along too, who is super duper strong and can carry all our fancy dragon tech or smth idk the three of them need more involvement !!! ajaw would drive me up the wall but it’s a necessary evil
in ochkanatlan, we see how the abyss can mimic lifeforms. the twin is in irminsul right? maybe it’s steals the twin’s image, but the traveler knows it’s not them because their twin would never say things like this. we learn that they abyss manifestations are (always?) twisted and mutilated.
we see the dragon. we don’t defeat it, that’s for the world quest lol but we get the image of the dragon in our minds so that when it shows up later down the line, we know what the fuck is happening lol
on our trip, we learn bits and pieces about the captain. it’s all disconnected, nothing makes sense. and since we’re nosey little fuckers, we find correspondence with the tsaritsa in his belongings.
capitano is gentle with his body. maybe a little too gentle. it catches the traveler’s eye but they don’t know what it means, they have no grounds for suspicion. it’s blown off as recovering from his duel with mavuika. (little do we know that he was hit directly in the heart and he’s worried, goddamnit)
ororon lets it slip that something feels off with the captain’s soul. (could the captain be using ororon’s sensitivities to monitor the souls housed inside him? would he eventually tell ororon what’s going on? or would that be too risky?)
ororon receives ancient name same as before, nothing really needs to change there i suppose. more suspicion is thrown on the captain because of the identity of the soul trying to possess ororon. maybe the captain didn’t share his plan in its entirety, he has a lot riding on this, he can’t afford to fuck it up, and keeps his cards close to his chest. he and mavuika can still argue in front of ororon like mom and dad lol
chuychu dies. she doesn’t get to give a long goodbye. she bleeds out in her sister’s arms. (they actually try to stop the bleeding and give her medical care) chasca goes berserk hell yeah, there’s a struggle. she manages to rein herself in, the love between sisters reigns supreme. chasca gets her ancient name
boom u got all ur heroes. they supercharge mavuika to beat back the abyss core thing. what was its name? gilgamesh? i don’t fucking know
the losses are extreme
fast forward a bit bc i’m losing steam and attention span here
we dive back into the night kingdom to track down the “brain” of the abyss corruption. the people we’ve met and lost in natlan help us out. kachina can be added to the mix. the gay lovers, chuychu and her pokémon team, boba and coconut — the whole gang’s here yooo i actually loved this part. favorite section by far
and after our trip in ochkanatlan, we know that the dragon we’re fighting is an abyssal manifestation. the voices of the previous pyro archons are their own but the words are all wrong, designed to discourage and distress us.
we defeat it using the power of friendship (i’m gonna kms)
also mavuika’s kit is completely different. i’m giving her a redesign fuck it. but that’s a post for another time.
traveler seems pretty good ngl i just wish the cons aren’t limited to fighting the dragon. i really liked what i was seeing and then they pooped all over my party (what’s the point!!!)
instead of a big parade, we gather around together at the stadium to finally try the thing all the pyro archons have been cooking. the heroes are a necessary component.
the incandescent ode of resurrection
among the many, kachina comes out of the flames. mualani sobs her heart out and vows to never let her out of her sight ever again
chuychu perhaps? �� pls pls she’s the only one besides cap and ororon that i give a shit about pllssssss playable chuychu when? her design is fantastic as is u dont need to touch it PLEASE—
now we can have a party!! after everything is all said and done, we can have One party instead of the five or so we’ve had since we came to natlan. (nation of war? more like nation of fiestas)
ororon, though, feels uneasy, and not because of the atmosphere. he says he’s going to find the captain, but he can’t explain why. concerned, the traveler and paimon try to follow him but are intercepted by citlali, who is for once not freaking out about ororon’s whereabouts, instead…
oh but wait. where’s mavuika gone? oh nooo
plays out relatively the same i suppose. could use some tweaking but not anything significant enough to mention right now.
except now we have somewhat of an understanding of the captain already, all the little bits and pieces we noticed, and the clues we (so rudely) discovered, it’s all starting to make sense now. we’ve also spent more time w him, the emotional attachment runs deeper, and it’s much more painful to experience.
bittersweet
mavuika is confused, especially in the days coming after. she had planned to die then. she said her goodbyes in a roundabout way. she finished the painting of her family, so they’ll never be forgotten. she saved her nation from the oppression of the abyss, resurrected so, so many. there was only one thing left to do… she was supposed to be the one to do it.
what does she do now?
what does she do with herself now, when she hadn’t planned for her own future? it was supposed to end, she was supposed to die. could she have reunited with her family? could she have seen them once again? she’s sad over what could have been, she’s confused because how did it end up like this, she’s mad because the captain stole it from her, she’s guilty because he was ultimately the better choice
what do you do when you’ve spent hundreds of years waiting for your destined day? when you’re only ambition has been this.
it’s time to learn how to live.
the end~
#this is a proof of concept and a stream of consciousness more than anything#so don’t take it all that seriously#but still. we had some good puzzle pieces but their placement was haphazard#i’m fairly certain i forgot a good few important bits but eh. what can u do this is just a ramble#a rant disguised as a storyline#genshin spoilers#5.3 spoilers#archon quest spoilers#natlan spoilers#genshin rewrite#what if i just wrote my own fic then what#that’d be so much fucking work tho OOF#it’s not just mavuika who needs character revision 😵💫#and keeping all the lore straight… brother i simply could not#do i tag all the characters i guess perhaps i should#sigh here goes#mavuika#capitano#ororon#kinich#kachina#mualani#citlali#xilonen wasnt mentioned here but i’d make her less of an insane tony stark#also more harbinger lore. if we’re reading capitano’s diary then imma ask him about his coworkers too hell yeah
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thought abt how toji is such a light sleeper and i.. sleep though just about all of my alarms aka........... he is my alarm clock now. he wakes up after the first one and then wakes me up himself:((((((((( and he's soooo extra sweet in the early mornings ouughhh my poor poor heart he really is like a cat he just noses at my cheek and presses gentle gentle kisses all over my face until i wake up. knows i take a long time so he does let me take my time but he just stays in bed with me to make sure i won't actually fall back asleep.
and . he doesn't go back to sleep after that either. he will keep me company no matter whether he has work/errands to do. we wash up and drink our coffee and then he drives me to work too:(((((((((((((((((
#I'M GONNA WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP#i do think he's a morning person#though overall he is a little grumpy.. the fact that i struggle to wake up will kind of make him a bit less grumpy lmao#he's so quiet and soft and he's just soooooooooooooobghjfkfdjgh#AND I FEEL SO BADDD#OH MY GODDD I FEEL SO BADDDD#LIKE WHEN MY SHIFT STARTS AT SEVEN AND I NEED TO WAKE UP AROUND FOUR AND THEN HE . WILL ALSO WAKE UP AT FOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR#NYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#MY HUSBANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#YOU DESERVE TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP YOU SHOULD BE SNORINGGGGGGGGGGG HUHEUHEUHEUHEUEHE#... perhaps he'll make me feel better by saying that he can't...... sleep without me anyway................................................#miji
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revisiting ch1 for the anniversary and one thing that's always stuck out to me is the couple of times darkness is associated with being able to "see the way". i don't know if it means anything or if it's just me reading a bit too much into some flavor text but if it does mean anything i definitely think it has something to do with how, like how venturing further into the darkness reveals the truth of what's hidden there (the switch in the ringaround puzzle room or the path to a key, for example), entering the dark worlds themselves reveals the hidden truth of the objects of the light world to us and the lightners — that they're not just ordinary objects, but living beings. the darker it gets, the more the whole of these worlds and how they are connected is revealed to us.
#ooc#deltarune#looking into the darkness is as much of a revelation of truth as the darkners seeing their fates as objects through the shadow crystals!#(but since we're looking from topdown it's way less eldritch to us. ect ect.)#these objects are in fact! people!#anyways i feel like i rarely see the environmental storytelling in ch1 get picked apart? which id have expected given the way ch2#shows us that these puzzles and seemingly inconsequential details do in fact imply things#about the knight's will about the lightners about the darkners about everyone#so perhaps that's something i will do. someday.
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Started this back in February when it was more topical but... I suppose no time is a good time for romance as far as Theo is concerned.
#doing a meme like the old deviantart days#good for the soul#theo#my draws#amaranthine#technically#i could ramble on about some of the choices here but perhaps it'd be best to let it speak for itself#also i think that's supposed to say “physical touch” but i couldn't find a font that matches to correct it#so my neurotic self had to leave the author's typo for the sake of aesthetic coherency#ok one piece of commentary: brain problems + highly repressed upbringing = where i put theo on the kinky slider. it had to be there#you should think less '50 shades' and more '50 year old guys waxing poetic about quicksand scenes in old adventure films' for that one#he's not a quicksand guy. but that's the vibe.
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The “A very frosty Christmas” chapter in HBP is so interesting to me in terms of understanding Lupin’s relation to the werewolf community. The standout line to me is this:
“‘I am not complaining; it is necessary work and who can do it better than I? However, it has been difficult gaining their trust. I bear the unmistakable signs of having tried to live among wizards, you see, whereas they have shunned normal society and live on the margins, stealing — and sometimes killing — to eat.’” (HBP, 334)
The framing of this is interesting, he didn’t say: “wizards have shunned them from normal society therefore marginalizing them so they have to steal and sometimes kill to eat”, no he puts the werewolves in the active role as if they are making a sort of choice. It effectively takes the blame off of the wizards that oppress them.
I think he might feel that it is a choice they are making. He has tried very hard all his life to fit into wizarding society. Everything he does is in an attempt to appear non threatening. He has made a choice to not live in the werewolf colonies, he’s made a choice to hold jobs, he’s made a choice to socialize with other wizards, he’s made a choice to appear civilized, he’s made a choice to conform into wizard society-
yet he is still not accepted.
The issue is not the werewolves disregarding society but a society that fundamentally disregards their humanity.
On some level he must know this yet the way he speaks about his community is dripping with a sort of self loathing that pushes for a drive for assimilation (something you can find in most groups of marginalized people).
He holds these views of achieving social mobility through the appearance of civilization while being walking proof that werewolf assimilation is futile, so he has to construct mental barriers to avoid being crushed under the weight of his own hypocrisy.
#Werewolf respectability politics#I also want to note that he is speaking to Harry a wizard here so his thoughts may be going through a filter to make him appear more -#aligned with wizard values#as a way to appear less threatening and not radical like perhaps greyback#he’s so interesting to me#love him#Remus lupin#remus lupin meta#hp meta#Harry Potter meta#hp marauders#marauders
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I’m so serious when I say that I think the song writers accidentally made Darry canonically gay in the musical. LISTEN TO ME‼️🙏
In RITFR Darry says, “Wish I could settle down with a lady, wish I could, but I can’t.” And yeah, we make jokes about him and his internalized homophobia, how he’s just saying that as a cover, but then I KEPT listening and like…
If Darry wanted to actually settle down with a lady, he would continue the line as “[…] wish I could, but I can’t, BECAUSE I gotta break my back all day.”
That’s what he means, right? He can’t settle down with a lady BECAUSE he’s taking care of Pony and Soda. “I want to do X, but I can’t because of Y.”
Except what he actually ends up saying is “[…] wish I could, but I can’t, so INSTEAD I gotta break my back all day.”
“I want to do X, but I can’t because of Y, so instead I have to do Z.” There’s a whole third variable and we have no idea what it is🧍♀️
“Instead” implies he can’t for other reasons besides taking care of his brothers. Other reasons like, oh I don’t know, poor man living in the south in the 60s, let’s put our thinking caps on for this one…
🏳️🌈
#what do we think#this is why the cast is so hellbent on parry with us#they knew the entire time#perhaps the only time in history that the grammar police clutched up#and yes ik he says “so instead because it sounds less clunky than “because#but that’s why it’s an accidental canonization#the outsiders#the outsiders headcanons#the outsiders musical#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders darry#darry curtis
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Do you think Yesod has ever taken refuge on Netzach's floor.. he hates the ticking of his own floor .. and he's a homosexual.. maybe Chesed visits too .... holy trinity of bad coping mechanisms or something ..
thats funny that he does actually... perhaps
#library of ruina#yesod#yesod lor#chesed#chesed lor#netzach#netzach lor#I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER it was also originally going to be longer... probably will do those ideas later as well but i didnt want to#put this off any longer. i got rather anxious from the attention so i ran for a bit. again im sorry... i hope these are good enough#anyways the thoughts. i want thinking abt it because yesod already is the orderly type and netzachs floor is a MESS DAMN girl you live like#this. or whatever the sort. but it being messy might be an excuse to do something w hands and physically move and do something and still#feel productive somewhat while also doing something less energy intensive. perhaps. for yesod. the other ideas were like.. chesed going dow#to the lower floors and bringing coffee with a cup so that itd be an excuse to either have them come return it and visit or go back down to#get ot later. as an excuse again of course.#there is a lot of little critters on netzs floor actually... little thangs.#i dont think ill have enough room. anyways again SORRY!!! its done.... somewhat
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wanted to make a takenaka art dump to practice for potential fic art but i ended up just doing a full piece after the first sketch.whoopsie
#qkdraws#id in alt#mob psycho 100#mob psycho#mp100#takenaka momozou#i like his hair it's fun#pose was fun to do too .did u guys know i like clothing folds have i mentioned that#shoes are becoming slightly less evil things to me but they're still annoying and i hate them#am i only capable of drawing converse ..........................................perhaps#took a break from drawing ritsu 695736572916 times to draw takenaka once.back to ritsu i go#so. fun fact#i made this like a week ago and had it in my drafts for a few days#and then sunday i debated on posting it but i didn't have the id written yet and i was very mentally exhausted#so i decided to wait until i had enough energy to write the id#the very next day i realize. sunday was takenaka's birthday.#i coulda fuckin posted my ONLY takenaka piece on his birthday. ididn't even know it was his bday. i didn't draw it for his bday#i coulda timed that so well.i coulda been so cool.but no#anyway uhm.happy late birthday takenaka
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