#but this cheers me up so i hope it'll cheer someone else up too!

[f1fnatic]

CLINGY ⤿ l. norris 4

→ ( in which. . . ) lando convinces you to have a night out with friends. he does the same and after a few drinks, he misses you and becomes clingy.

→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) written, slight social media au

→ ( pairing. . . ) lando norris x fem!reader

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) mentions of alcohol consumption

→ ( author's note. . . ) i had a lot of fun writing this and super happy with how it turned out. I hope you enjoy! see end for more.

→ ( masterlist )

you and lando had been wanting to go out by yourselves for a while now. you both enjoyed going out together, but the paparazzi and attention lando would receive was overwhelming. so, one day, he suggested you go out with your friends and he with his.

"it'll be good for you," he said, "you know, to get smashed without worrying about staying or looking sober enough for the media."

you nod agreeing, "you have a point. but what about you?"

"what about me?" he questions, "go out for a birthday or celebration. i'll go out with carlos or max, maybe daniel." he finishes shrugging.

"hmm, fine. but you have to promise to be responsible."

"pinky." is all he said. he stretched out his hand showing you his pinky finger. you took yours and wrapped it with his, sealing the promise.

that was last week. tonight, you were celebrating a new job opportunity you had gotten. while you would had loved to be celebrating with lando, you knew he'd only push you to go out with your friends.

so, there you were, in a crowded nightclub, music blasting and alcohol coursing through your bloodstream. you sat in a booth sipping on a martini, wearing a simple orange skin-tight long-sleeved dress. the color reminded you of lando, so it was a no-brainer to wear it tonight.

you and your friends were talking mindlessly about nothing and everything at the same time. the night was going swell. you and lando had gotten ready together and it took him some convincing to not rip the dress off of you and delay your arrival.

sitting at the booth, you pulled out your phone and opened instagram. you beckoned your friends to push their drinks towards yours for mock cheers to post on your story.

instagram ↴

yourusername posted a story!

caption: girls night 🍸

mentioned; yourfriend1, yourfriend2, yourfriend3, yourfriend4, yourfriend5

—————————————————————

you set your phone down back into your purse after posting. right after doing so, you and your friend's favorite song played. the booth erupted into cheers, your friend grabbed you by the arm and dragged you from your seat to the dance floor.

while you were with your friends, lando was with carlos and daniel at a seperate club. he was a few too many drinks in. carlos and daniel had ushered him to a table to get him get some water to sober up.

lando had missed you, a lot. he knew that you needed this. he had already seen a handful of paparazzi trying to sneak pictures of him, daniel, and carlos. he didn't want you to have any unwanted pictures taken. he also knew that you were having fun.

daniel eventually got him a glass of water and lando chugged it. the cool, refreshing water cooling him down from the inside out. after setting down the empty glass, he reached for his phone in his back pocket and noticed an instragram notification. a notification specifically from you.

lando opened the app and then viewed your story. it was a picture of you and your friends clinking your drinks together. he didn't know why, but jealousy began to run through him. not the type of jealousy you would get from a crush being with someone else, but the type you get when you feel left out. fomo if you will.

lando missed you. he wanted to be there with you. taking shots and dancing with you. he felt left out. sure, he was having fun with daniel and carlos, but he knew that he would be having 100x more fun if he was with you.

his thoughts were running around in his head. he became fidgety. carlos and daniel observed him from a distance. after a few minutes, lando slid up on your story.

he waited for your answer, he continued to spam you with messages but stopped when there wasn't one. he sighed in defeat. he looked at his watch and it read "12:56". it was almost 1 am. he decided to call it a night. he flagged down carlos and daniel to let them know he was leaving and then called an uber home. once he arrived back to your shared apartment, he made his way to the couch and collapsed.

finally, you were able to peel away from your friends and back to your booth. you grabbed your phone to check the notifications, you noticed multiple from lando. they read:

—————————————————————

—————————————————————

you hurried to respond, apologizing for not answering. you decided it was time to go home. you let your friends know, grabbed your things, and called an uber, you also shot lando a text.

a couple minutes later lando responded letting you know that he was waiting for you at your shared apartment. you got giddy. a wide smile appeared on your face and butterflies in your stomach fluttered. you had been living together for a while now, but the thought of coming home to him, the person you loved with all your heart made it so much more special.

your uber eventually reached your apartment and you swiftly got out, thanking them for the ride. you were moving quicker than usual. while walking to the front door, you fished out your keys from your purse. the heart-locket keychain that held a picture of you and lando jingled in response from being moved.

reaching the front door, you place the key in the lock and turn. the lock unlocks with a satisfying schlick. pushing open the door, you're surprised to feel arms immediately wrap around your waist and engulf you in a hug. your hands are in the air momentarily before you push lando back into the hallway. his hands lay on your hips while his head is in the crook of your neck. placing your things down, you finally wrapped your arms around him.

a muffled "i missed you." comes from his mouth. the vibrations tickle your neck.

"i missed you, too lan." you smile in response.

lando keeps you in the hallway for at least 15 minutes. just the two of you, in silence, slightly swaying back and forth. your breathing was intermingled, taking breaths in and exhaling at the same time. you were both still in your clubbing clothes, and you were sure you might be in them for the rest of the night.

"lan." you whisper, a 'hm' comes in response. "you need to let go, we both need to change."

"but i don't wanna. i want to keep hugging you until i can't stand anymore." he protests. you could tell he was drunk, he was clingy sober, sure, but when drunk that clinginess was multiplied tenfold.

"lando, baby, please. i want to get out of these heels." you plead. it takes him a few minutes before he pulls away. he looks at you with a pout on his face, eyebrows upturned and mouth downturned. you look at him with a frown, almost mimicking his pout.

"we can cuddle all we want when i change. okay?" you reason.

"promise?" he asks.

"pinky." you respond firmly holding your pinky up in front of him. he interlocks his with yours, sealing the promise like you did a week ago. he keeps hold of your pinky and eventually goes to hold your hand. you lead him to your bedroom with interlocked hands. he followed like a puppy.

you both let go in order to change. he moves to the bed to lay down while you move to the bathroom to wash your make-up off and do some light skin care.

"y/nnnn..." comes from the bed.

"yes lan?"

"hurry up, i miss you again." he whimpers. you quickly finished your routine and exited the bathroom, turning the lights off. he was lying on his side under the comforter, eyes closed. you crawled in on your side and lando quickly found your body.

his arms were wrapped around your waist, head going to lay on your chest. your hand reached his hair, slowly playing with the curls. soft snores eventually filled the air. lando was asleep. you lay there and admired his sleeping face. he looked so peaceful. nothing was bothering him, no worries were plaguing his mind. he was at ease.

you placed a light kiss a top his head. he shifted and groggily reached up to place one on your lips and returned to his previous position. a yawn escaped your mouth, sleep was overtaking you. you cuddled closer to lando by entangling your legs with his. a few minutes later, you were fast asleep.

ahhhh first ever request! thank you for requesting :)!! i am happy with how this turned out and i hope this fulfilled your request! i had a lot of fun writing this and messing around with the instagram dm maker 😆 thank you for reading! requests and feedback are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well :)

request from; luli3219 Hello can you write something about jealousy (positive) Lando x fem!reader, were they goes out separately; him with his friends and she with her friends, and when she posting a video on instagram and he replied a little bit drunk that he missed her. And when she come home after him he gets so touchy and clingy

[reverse-runaways-au]

humbly requesting some Reverend and Will first meeting content 🪽🤞🏻

This was both fun and a challenge to write!! No warnings here, other than what you probably already know about the characters and the Reverse Falls au.

Standing alone in the room, staring at the candles on the wooden floor, he braced himself. Again, the warning rang in Stanford’s mind.

Do not summon at all costs.

It was not a phrase to be taken lightly. Not an action to take without long, careful thought. Long sleepless hours of research and study, restless nights alone, turning it over and over in his mind. Preparing himself for what he wanted to do. A reckless man would have summoned the strange spirit, this dream demon, as soon as he could. He didn't like to think of himself that way. He liked to consider himself better than that.

Nothing else he'd come across had a warning like this. Nothing else had the potential like this. Nothing else begged for his attention like this. Begged for his control like this.

Too good to resist. Too good to hold back.

Yes. Whatever this truly was, demon or lesser spirit, or something else unimaginable, he was ready for it.

The candles flickered. Stanford Gleeful held his breath. A wind wrapped around him, tossing his hair as the world distorted into grayscale. Behind his arms he watched with wide eyes as a hole ripped itself open in reality. A triangle through which he could see the whole cosmos watching back.

He blinked.

The eye within the hole blinked back.

Reality turned solid again. The triangle seemed to smile, looking around the room.

“I'm back,” he said.

Stanford lowered his arms, and stared. He was a strange thing, dark arms and legs with a top hat and tie. All blue, an almost photo negative shade, with a single eye that looked at him with cheerful curiosity. Intelligence burned within it. So did power.

He couldn't look away.

“So!” The little thing floated closer. “You're Stanford Gleeful!” He circled around, as if examining Stanford. “Yknow, I didn't think you'd actually do it. Summon me. I'm glad you did though! It's nice to talk to a human again.”

“How-” Stanford swallowed. “How do you know my name?”

The triangle laughed. “What don't I know!” He said. “I'm practically a god of knowledge!” He rubbed his face with his little hand. “But uh. I've actually been hoping someone would summon me for a long time. The last guys didn't like me. They thought I was annoying. I saw you find that old stuff-” He gestured to the desk across the room. “- and I thought, maybe this time it'll happen! And go better, too! I shouldn't hope, it's gotten me in trouble before. But for once, it worked out!”

He reached out and brushed a few strands of hair out of Stanford's face, before flicking him on the nose.

“Name's Will Cipher! Great to finally meet you. Hope I don't let you down!”

Stanford felt something odd wrapping around inside him. Like… intrigue. Interest. Attraction? He couldn't say. This whole situation caught him off guard. He'd expected a demon like his grandfather spoke of so often in his sermons, in personality, if nothing else.

But Will, he seemed… Nice. Innocent, even.

“So!” Will crossed his legs and looked at Stanford with clear eagerness. “What would you like to do first?”

Right. He'd wanted to test the demon with questions. See how powerful, how dangerous, he truly was. But he couldn't remember them anymore. Damn it.

“Hold on,” Stanford said, raising his hand. “What was it you just said about being a god?”

“Compared to humans, yeah!” Will said. “I'll show you! You want to see something fun?”

“... Yes?” Stanford said.

Will took off his hat and tossed it in the air. He spun around in a blur of blue and black, moving so quickly Stanford could not see him anymore. The hat shot up, almost hitting the ceiling, and drifted back down.

The hand that caught the hat was human, in black fingerless gloves. The head that the hand put the hat back onto, covered in blonde hair, was also human. Dark blue eyes winked at him, human eyes, a human face. A human body dressed in a blue vest over a black sleeveless turtleneck and dark pants, lean and youthful and grinning wide. Will adjusted his tie.

“What do you think?” Will said.

Something about Stanford's face must've caught Will���s attention. He wilted.

“... I didn't make you uncomfortable did I?” He said. “I can change back if you-”

“No!”

Stanford lowered his hand. He exhaled. Forced himself to smile through his disbelief.

“I… I like it.”

But Will must have known that. How, he would need to figure out. Stanford never told a soul about his true desire in a partner. He would never let anyone know he was gay. But this form that this bright-eyed demon took…

He must have known. How else could he have chosen a body that captured everything he'd ever fantasized about?

“Thanks!” Will said.

Or maybe he didn't. Maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was fate.

Maybe they were meant for each other.

Stanford grinned. This was the best decision he ever made in his life.

[tsumtsumrry]

Hii love your writing so much. Do you have the subrry one from your old account? The link on there doesn't work anymore :(. I think it was called "oh my days" or something like that?

hi hi thank u so so so much ily. and yes i do have it! here's part 1 and 2 🤍🤍🤍

part 1:

"Truth or dare? You guys are children." you snort out a laugh as you sip from your bottle of beer, relishing in the way the cool liquid slides down your throat.

"C'mon it'll be fun. We've finished all our work and we have nothing better to do." Tyler, another co-worker says, twisting a pen in his hands with a way too excited look on his face.

"Fine. Okay, Tyler. Truth or dare." You say, your eyebrows raised at him in a challenge.

Harry's frozen, staring at you in longing. He loves that hint of mischief in your eyes, he hopes no one can tell how hard he's staring or how turned on he knows he's about to be.

Harry's sure he's in love with you. You've been working together for so long and it’s hard not to fall for you when you spend that much time together. He loves your sense of humor and your assertiveness. He loves the way you can take charge and look so classy while he does it. He just absolutely adores you. 

“Truth.” Tyler finally decides. 

At this you smirk, “is it true that this is completely stupid?” you let out a laugh and so does everyone else while Tyler just rolls his eyes at you. 

“Fine if you don’t want to participate, I’ll ask someone else.” he swivels around his chair, looking around at all your co-workers, trying to decide who he wants to torture next. 

“Ah, Harry,” he decides and you can visibly see poor Harry suck in a scared breath. 

“Uhm...sure.” he says quietly, running his index finger under his nose twice. A habit you’ve picked up on. “Truth” 

“When’s the last time you’ve had sex and the position or role. Go!” Tyler says quickly and Harry’s jaw drops in bewilderment. 

His face twists up and he opens his mouth to speak, “Do I really have to answer that?” He cracks his knuckles nervously and you fight the urge to pout in sympathy for him. 

“Yeah dude, S’truth or dare. We’re all adults.” Tyler says like it’s obvious. 

“Okay uhm...okay. Like a month ago and she was erm...she was on top.” You can see his face flush with embarrassment when he says it. 

Your eyebrows raise at him and the same time the entire office erupts in hoots and cheers. They’ve obviously had too much too drink. 

“Wait wait wait,” Tyler interupts, “on top like how?” 

“She was on top. Dunno how else to sa―” 

“Like was she...in control?” He probes and it seems like Harry sinks lower into his seat. 

“Yes.” he barely mumbles. 

“Oh my days! I would’ve never guessed.” Tyler snickers, not in a mocking way, just genuinely surprised. Like he said, you guys are all mature adults. 

After truth or dare, you see Harry packing up his stuff, you try to fight off the urge to go up to him, but you fail. And before you know it, you’re walking over to him in quick strides. 

“Hi, Harry.” you say calmly, a complete contrast to the nerves you’re currently feeling. 

“O―oh. Hi. Sorry are you waiting for―let me get out of your way.” he rambles quickly and when you chuckle he stops in his tracks. 

“No, Harry. I came here to talk to you.” 

He swears if you say his name like that one more fucking time he’s going to come in his pants. 

It’s the way you’re talking to him, in that cooing “soft-dom” tone. Surely you know what you’re doing. 

“Is it okay if I ask you about what you said during truth or dare earlier?” You ask and he nods quickly.  “Mkay.” and his heart stops when you smile. “You’re a bit...submissive aren’t you?” you ask. 

Harry has to close his eyes and take a deep breath of composure before he responds. You look down to his pants and your mouth parts when you see the beginning of an erection. 

“Mhm. Yeah.” he almost whimpers, looking at you with pretty doe eyes that you want to commit to memory forvever. 

“Should we test that out?” you whisper in his ear and he fucking shivers. 

“Please.” 

part 2:

You don't exactly remember every step it took to get here, but you're in your bed, Harry laying on top of it, begging for your touch.

"Fuck. Please touch me, please. I'll do anything." you can hear the strain in his voice

“You want me to touch you, Harry?” you whisper, watching as he squirms a bit more. He just wants the friction so bad, he needs to feel your touch. He’s sure he’ll go insane without it. 

“You’re so adorable.” you say, leaning down to let your index finger toy with his tip. He inhales sharply and bucks his hips up, begging for more, he’s whispering “please” over and over under his breath accompanied by sobbed out whimpers. 

He’s reeling, because he’s dreamed about this for so long. As much as he was in love with your personality and you as a person, he was also infatuated with the thought of how you could make him feel. There were so many nights that he fucked his fist to the thought of you making him feel so good he lost all sense of reality. 

“You’re teasing, you’re teasing and I can’t―can’t take it. Please.” 

“Can’t take it?” you taunt and he fervently shakes his head no, his mouth dropped open to let out pained pants, “you’re gonna have to. Take it, baby. I know you can.” 

“Need you.” he whimpers but it sounds more like he’s crying and you pout sympathetically at him. 

“Poor baby.” you take pity on him and swing your legs around his waist, straddling him. 

You lower yourself down, gasping when your bare core makes contact with his cock. His sharp intake of breath and the way his eyes practically roll into the back of his head put a satisfied smile on your face. 

“Oh my god...please.” his words slur together now, “need more. I need more, please give it to me, I need it.” he whines, his hips thrusting up unevenly, tyring to get as much friction as he can. 

He’s so desperate is the thing, he’d do anything to just be inside you, have your warm walls wrapped around him as you take everything he has. It’s all he can think about and the way you’re just sitting on his cock isn’t helping to quench the thirst at all. 

“Please?” a single tear drops from his eye now, his lips jutted out in the cutest fucking pout you’ve ever seen. 

You’re teasing yourself just as much as you’re teasing him, you want him inside you so bad. He’s so big and you have a feeling his knows how to use his cock just right. You won’t lie and say you haven’t imagined it before. 

You take ahold of his cock and he lets out a relieved moan. When you position him so he can slide right in, his chest starts to heave, he’s just so ready for you. 

Then you finally sink down onto him, and it’s unlike everything you’ve ever felt before. 

He moans loudly before the rambles start, “thank you thank you. Oh my god, thank you. You feel so fuckin’ good. S’never felt this good.” He tries to thrust up into you but you push down his hips. He whines but you shush him. It’s like he didn’t hear you because he starts to beg anyways. 

“Let me, let me. Please let me. Can’t take anymore.” another tear falls from his eyes and some sadistic part of you loves it so much, “you’re bein’ mean. So mean.” 

“Shhh, baby. S’okay. Let me ride you.” you whisper and he whimpers and nods agaisnt the mattress. 

You start with soft grinds, watching as his mouth drops open and his eyes flutter closed in relief, “oh...thank you.” he barely whispers. 

“Such a good boy for me. Took everything I gave you so well.” you practically moan out. 

“Mmm. Yeah. M’your―your g-good boy. Jus’ wanna be good. Always...always good.” he whimpers, his words starting to be difficult to get out. This is exactly how you want him. A wreck for you. 

He feels so good inside you, hitting all the right spots and you are turned on beyond comprehension. You’ve never felt anything that feels as right as this does. His little whines and whimpers are making you so wet, the pure ecstasy on his face and the way his mouth is dropped into a cute “o”. He’s so fucking erotic and you’re not sure if he even knows. 

It’s when you start to bounce a little harder that he really loses it, his eyes fight to stay open and the preassure at the bottom of his belly is honestly becoming to much to bare. He grabs your hips with such a tight grip that you’re sure it’ll bruise tomorrow. 

He thinks he’s close but he honestly has no idea how to distinguish the feeling from everything else, you’re just making him feel too good for him to think. 

“Baby I’m...think m’gonna. Please. Please can I?” he mumbles out incoherently, looking up at you with doe, glassy eyes. 

“Can you what, love? Use your words for me.” 

“Wanna cum. Inside you. Gonna cum inside you. Let me?” his whimpers are becoming more frequent and raising in volume, he’s so close and he just wants to come for you. 

“Cum inside me, pretty boy.” you whisper in his ear and that’s all it takes for him to break. 

“Fuck. Fuck fuck. M’so close. Need’a cum. Need―oh please.” he rambles, desperately chasing his release. You allow him to buck his hips up into you, and you coo at him. 

“Yes, baby. Cum for me.” 

He starts to whimper, “m’a good boy.” over and over under his breath and you practically melt on top of him at how adorable he is. It’s one more buck of his hips before you feel him start to unload inside of you. You moan along with him, loving the feeling of him filling you up. 

“Such a good boy.” you moan. 

When he finally comes down, you brush his hair out of his face, wait for his eye contact, then you start to bounce on top of him again, chasing your own orgasm.  “M’all...all done. Please. S’too much fuck.” he whimpers. 

“Mm...don’t think so” you smile as you completely overstimulate him, “you’re gonna make me cum, baby. Get to work.” 

[sydsaint]

Valentines Day content time!! Gotta show some love for my king of the bums <3

Summary: The reader gets stood up on her Valentines Day date by her crush. Luckily for her, Eddie is frequenting the same bar and happy to share a drink to cheer the reader up.

Everything is set to go perfect tonight. You're hair is done up as nice as you can get it, makeup pristine and glowing, dress hugging every curve perfectly. You check your phone for any messages but find your messages dry.

"Huh, that's weird." You comment to yourself. You haven't heard from Ricky, who you finally managed to get a date with tonight, since yesterday.

You send Starks a quick flirty message that you're looking forward to your date with him later and wait. But no response comes. You glance at the clock on your phone. It's only an hour until you're supposed to meet up with him. 'Maybe he's just busy.' You tell yourself as you order yourself an Uber.

You arrive to the restaurant that you and Ricky agreed to meet at around 45 minutes later. You head inside and glance around for Ricky but don't spot him anywhere. 'I'm 15 minutes early.' You tell yourself as a waiter comes by to get your drink order.

"I'm waiting for someone, actually." You explain your situation for the waiter. "But can I get a glass of red wine to start?" You ask him, hoping that it'll calm your nerves.

The waiter nods and walks off to fetch your drink. You pull out your phone and check your messages again. Nothing. Your phone remains dry as the Sahara in terms of messages. But you don't lose hope. The waiter brings by your wine and you pick it up for a drink as soon as it's set down in front of you.

eight o'clock hits. Ricky is supposed to meet you here at this time. But he seems to be nowhere to be found. You check your phone again and are met with disappointment. But you refuse to give up. You wait some more. And some more. And just a little bit longer, holding out hope that Ricky will show up with flowers and an excuse about why he's so late.

But he never comes.

"Ma'am, is there anything else I can do for you?" The waiter comes by with a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah." You shake your head, refusing to cry. "You can tell me where the nearest bar is."

The waiter nods and turns toward the front of the room. "We have a bar on the second floor. Just head back to the lobby and take the elevator up." He explains. "And miss, I am sorry that your date didn't show." He adds.

"Thanks. How much do I owe you for the wine?" You reach for your wallet with a defeated sigh.

"No trouble miss, it was only two glasses. On the house." The waiter insists.

You flash the waiter a thankful smile and pull a twenty out of your wallet for a tip. The waiter gratefully takes it and sees you off to the elevator in the lobby.

You take the elevator up to the bar with a heavy heart. You can't believe that Ricky stood you up. He seemed so excited and interested in you when you asked him if he had Valentines Day plans. So why? Why didn't he show up?

The elevator comes to a halt and slides open. You step out on the bar floor and head straight for the service counter. The place is full of single people looking to hook up, as well as a few casual couples enjoying drinks. Oh how badly you wish you were one of those couples and not the girl that got stood up on Valentines Day of all nights.

"Hey, can I just get a beer when you have a minute?" You reach the bar and beckon to the bartender whose busy cleaning glasses.

The bartender nods and turns around to fetch your drink. You stare at your reflection in the mirror on the back of the bar. All that work for nothing.

"YN? That you, sweetheart?" A familiar male voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

You turn away from the mirror and find Eddie looking at you curiously. Your eyes widen a bit upon seeing him outside of work like this.

"Eddie, hey." You offer him a friendly smile. "Out getting a drink too?" You ask him.

"Yeah, just trying to enjoy another lonely night." Eddie jokes with a small laugh, his gaze finally taking notice of your fancy attire. "You waiting for someone?" He asks you.

Your friendly smile drops from your face and you shake your head. "I was. Not anymore." You answer him and the bartender brings your drink to you.

"I'll get her drink." Eddie pulls out his wallet before you can grab yours. "You got stood up huh?" He turns back to you. "Now what fool was dumb enough to stand a girl like you up, sweetheart?" He asks you. "Especially when you look like that."

"I was supposed to meet Ricky down in the restaurant." You explain. "He never showed up though." You frown and pick up your drink.

Eddie nods knowingly and picks up his own drinks. "Well the kid is a damn fool then." He chuckles to himself and takes a drink. "Because you look absolutely stunning."

"Thanks Eddie." You finish off your drink and signal the bartender for another one, intent on drowning your sorrows in drinks tonight.

The bartender replaces your bottle and Eddie insists on paying for it again. He watches you down half of it and shakes his head. "I recognize that look." He turns to you. "Look, I know that you probably feel like shit right now, kid. But you ain't gonna find a solution at the bottom of a bottle, trust me on that. I've been looking for a long time."

"You never know." You reply and finish off your drink. "I might find peace of mind. Or a reason why Ricky didn't bother to show up with another drink." You laugh.

"Alright." Eddie slides out of his seat and walks over to you. "Come on sweetheart, lets get you back to the hotel before you do something you'll regret." He sets a gentle hand on your arm and pays his tab with the other.

You're reluctant to leave, but Eddie's gentle hand guides you out of the bar and into an Uber back to the hotel. He sticks at your side until you're at your hotel room door.

"Alright, here we are." Eddie takes your keycard and gets you inside your room. He sets you down on your bed and turns to leave.

Before Eddie can walk off you grab his hand and pull him back and into a hug. "Thank you, Eddie." You sniffle. "At least someone cares about me, right?"

"More than you know, sweetheart." Eddie whispers back and rubs your back gently. "Alright, get some sleep kid. You'll feel better in the morning, I promise." He insists in a louder tone so you can hear him.

You fall back onto your bed with a nod and drift off to sleep. Eddie tosses a blanket over you and sets a bottle of water on your nightstand before switching the light off and exiting for the night. The only thing on his mind now is Ricky Starks.

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

Chapter 6

CW: lots of angst, jealousy is not even the right word to describe neteyam's state anymore, emotionally hurt neteyam, yandere neteyam, reader has a hard time trying to fight her feelings for neteyam, mentions of using someone with the intention of forgetting someone else, mild violence, mentions of sexual fluids, possessive and territorial neteyam, mentions of depressive symptoms, use of alcohol, feelings of fear, tension, confessions of love, fluff. I think that's all (??)

✨ IM BACK ✨ I can't even believe I managed to finally update this fanfic! 😂 All of a sudden I spent days on end being a 24/7 nurse for my spayed kitten and didn't have time for anything + having to give her 2 different pills at 2 different times, all during the am hours, plus another one in the morning, left me SOOO sleep deprived. It was horrible. Thank God she doesn't have to take the pills anymore. ANYWAY lol Guys, in the beginning of the chapter until the middle of it, I think, I know you guys are gonna want to murder me or reader or both (you know that y/n meme with the pic of the blonde girl "choking" her own shadow in the wall, saying like "babe this is not us" or smth? so… pretty much that! lol) BUT I PROMISE it's gonna be really good in the end 🥲 trust me, please 🥺 it's the moment most of us (yes, me included!) have been waiting for! 💕 Also, this is a longer chapter, compared to the usual. Maybe a compensation for my absence? Idk! lol I just hope you guys like it! haha OKAY if I say anything else, it'll be a spoiler lol love y'all to death!!! my readers are my babies, my lil angels… I truly freaking love you guys so much!!! 🫀⚘

Not proofread.

Chapter 5

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

I can see you standing, honey, with his arms around your body

Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all

(...)

I can see you staring, honey, like he's just your understudy

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Second, third, and hundredth chances

Balancin' on breaking branches

Those eyes add insult to injury 

exile (Taylor Swift, Bon Iver)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

The air was thick and chaotic at the Olo'eyktan's hut that morning. Everyone seemed to be a bit too restless, either getting ready to go show up to their duties to the clan, like Neytiri, or thinking about some personal struggle, like Kiri, who was lost in thought, looking a bit sad. But she was also mixing some herbs and flowers, preparing a thick, violet colored substance that was used to treat wounds, that she would later give to Neytiri. Kiri would always help Neytiri a lot, assisting her in her Tsahìk position in the Omatikaya clan.

But Neteyam still stood out among the whole family. He was unmistakably grumpy that morning, Lo’ak noticed, as he was - once again - watching the weird way his older brother was behaving. Neteyam was not being his usual calm and caring self. He was not trying to take care of everyone, not giving out smiles and trying to cheer his siblings up. He was even distracted when Jake was giving him instructions about how today's training would go and giving him other orders, like telling him to keep an eye on Tuk whenever he's able to, as she was growing and becoming even smarter, more energetic and mischievous and was starting to get into more trouble, sometimes even picking fights with other girls in the clan, becoming a bit too much like Lo'ak, which had been making Jake rub the sides of his forehead in worry lately, way more often than he liked to admit.

"The Mighty Warrior, distracted when dad is telling him what to do?! What the fuck is happening?!" Lo'ak thought. Something was very wrong. And Lo’ak was determined to find out what it was.

Neteyam sat with his legs slightly open, his hands were crossed, his elbows resting on his knees. He had a lost stare in his eyes, gazing at the nothingness, looking like he was mad at someone who had just maybe punched him in the face.

He did not know how to deal with it all, that turmoil of emotions you were causing inside him felt overwhelming to the Sullys first born. He had taken on just so many challenges throughout his life and conquered most of them, but he feared you were gonna be a war that he might lose. He had to admit it bruised his ego. Suddenly, he did not feel like such a Mighty Warrior after all. An adversary that most people would judge as a weak one compared to him, a mere human girl, so small in comparison to his size, was defeating him. Suddenly all his skills with bows, arrows, big knives and even big, intimidating shotguns were not enough.

And Neteyam felt lost. He did not know what to do. For the first time in his life, his rational and smart brain could not seem to produce a war strategy that could help him win. Win you. He felt just like a wounded warrior, bleeding on the floor.

༊⁀➷

You decided to finally answer Derek’s messages today, after ghosting him for a while. You were feeling weird and lonely. And shaken. God, still so shaken... What the hell happened last night? Did that really happen? Was it all just a dream? You could swear those words Neteyam Suli had given you, about how he was in love with you, that his hauntingly tall and broad figure, vulnerable, kneeling on the ground in front of you, telling you he could tell you desired him too, had all been just part of a weird, eerie, anxious, borderline wet dream.

You knew very well what you were doing to Derek. You were using him to forget about the mess Neteyam was making of you. You knew that was wrong and you did feel guilty and ashamed. But you also knew you had to step back into your old reality, into that familiar world, into your comfort zone, a place where there were only regular human guys interested in you, not that current unsettling reality you were living in - you could still swear it had all just been a dream. Or a nightmare, perhaps. You were not sure -, where there was an almost 10 feet tall alien boy pursuing you, declaring his love and his nearly inappropriate desire for you, talking about the intimate parts of your body in a way that made you uncomfortable, anxious but... that lured you in too, at the same time. You needed an escape from it all. Your already disturbed mind did not seem able to deal with those facts at that moment and Derek seemed like the perfect distraction. 

Damn, what had you become? That was not ethical or moral at all - using a human being like a tool to distract you from your conflicting emotions - but you did not seem to be capable of caring too much about being ethical or moral at that time. Your whole perception of the world seemed to be changing. You felt bedazzled and unsteady. You did not want to admit to yourself that you were starting to feel too much for Neteyam, that you were running away from your feelings like a thief runs away with an expensive item he just robbed. No, you were not in love with him. How could that even be? Everybody knew the na’vi don’t get romantically involved with humans. Your races were more like enemies than buddies. There were only a few humans who were loyal to the na'vi and maintained a somewhat close relationship with them, but never a romantic one. What was making you and Neteyam feel like that for each other? That could only bring problems and you sure as hell did not want more trouble in your already complicated life.

You would be better off sticking to a human male instead. It was safe and familiar. It did not make your anxiety skyrocket. But it also did not excite you a single bit. Derek caused you nothing. You could barely even feel actually turned on when he touched your body and kissed your lips. It was just like he was a habit you had gotten used to, making out with him here and there, to numb the pain you felt inside your heart almost all the time. His biggest efforts to make you wet never seemed to work. Meanwhile, Neteyam got you wet without having ever touched you. That sure spoke loud enough. 

So why were you rejecting Neteyam and going after Derek?

Maybe you felt too afraid to take a risk, to follow your heart. God knows following that damn reddish muscular organ had put you in the worst situations possible in the past. You felt numb but you felt safe. And safe felt good. Bearable, at least. You were afraid if you gave into what you felt for Neteyam you just might explode. The feelings were that strong. You did not know what to do to try and ignore that tiny but extremely annoying creature inside your brain that would always be whispering “What if something actually good came out of it? Take a risk. For once in your life, don’t play it safe.”

But you were choosing to play it safe, anyway. At least this afternoon. You were gonna meet Derek, after two weeks without doing so, and just hang out, eat junk food, drink some alcohol and talk about non important things, just laugh and be silly, like you two always used to do. He was a good friend. Too bad he never made any type of fire light up inside of you, not even in the very beginning of your rendezvous, that’s why you never got to have sex with him. You were simply not interested. At all, to be honest. You wondered why you still insisted on being physically intimate with him. There were many things in your life that you did and did not really think too much about. They were just pure routine, they just kinda happened and you let them, almost like you weren't really living your life, but only a mere spectator to the events that were happening to you. And it seemed like you felt too emotionally numb to put an end to them. Your involvement with Derek was one of those things. He started to flirt with you one day, you were bored and you thought "why not?" and now, months later, you were still caught in this situation. If anyone asked you if there was any other reason why you were gonna see Derek today other than to try and get Neteyam out of your mind, you honestly couldn't say there was. It was crystal clear to you that, even though you were fighting like crazy to deny your feelings for Neteyam, you were indeed falling for him.

But how could that be? Some days ago, he was only an Omatikaya famous warrior - and, oh, let's not forget, the next Olo'eyktan of their clan - that you had only heard people talk about.

༊⁀➷

Neteyam was up in one of the highest tree branches he could find that day. He did not want anybody to see him, as usual, but he also did not want you to know he was watching you, either. He knew you were now aware of his constant presence around you. He knew you were not oblivious to his love anymore.

The sun was harassing his eyes, so he put his hand over them and squinted hard to try and see if the guy next to you, in the laboratory’s cafeteria, was really who he thought it was. When his eyes could get a better view, once the sun was not bothering them so much anymore, he felt something sinking in his stomach and his heartbeat accelerated considerably.

He had just confirmed who the guy was. It was that disgusting little human male that liked to act like you were his mate. Neteyam hissed ferociously, his protruding na’vi fangs looking scarier than ever, as his wide feline eyes watched Derek leaning close to your face and kissing your lips. Neteyam wanted to die - or maybe kill Derek - when he noticed you kissed him back.

༊⁀➷

You forced a smile while looking at Derek, after you had the initiative to break that damn kiss who seemed to never end. He seemed satisfied with the fact that you two had just kissed, contrary to what you were feeling. You honestly felt like you wanted to throw up. All you could think about was how it would feel to kiss Neteyam, to smell his scent again, that was so abundantly different from what you were used to, but that fact only seemed to make you want him even more.

You looked away to try and forget the ridiculous mistake you were making by being with Derek at that moment. You were looking at the ground and your gaze moved upwards. Now your eyes were directed towards the outside of the lab. What you saw startled you beyond reason. Neteyam was squatting, up in the branches of a huge tree, not too close but not too far from the part of the laboratory you and Derek were currently in. His fangs were out, seeming bigger than ever, as he hissed ferociously. Neteyam's animalistic side had completely taken over him and you could tell.

A chill ran down your spine. You could feel in your guts something bad was about to happen.

Your heart throbbed in pain as you saw how hurt he was now that he had seen you kissing Derek, even after he - Neteyam - had confessed his feelings for you in such a vulnerable way last eclipse. You saw in his eyes how betrayed he felt, like you were just silently telling him that his love did not matter at all to you and you'd rather be with any other guy but him.

༊⁀➷

"Hey, I'm going outside for a while, 'kay?" Derek spoke as he got up from the place he had been sitting, beside you, kissing your cheek "The boys are gonna meet me behind the lab in a while. "

Oh, no. Derek would not be safe if he went outside. Not with Neteyam spilling hate for him out of his soul like that. You had to try and find a way to keep Derek inside.

"Oh." You said, not being able to conceal your nervousness "Why don't you wait for them to actually get there before you go?!" You almost begged, visibly tense

"God, you seem nervous." He chuckled slightly, seeming uncomfortable " Is everything alright?"

"Yeah! I just want you to spend some more time with me." You pouted at him, coming up with an excuse to try and keep Derek from going out of the lab

"Sorry, sugar. It was nice hanging out and stuff but I really need to go now." He was already walking fast towards the door before you could try and talk him out of that stupid idea

You couldn't let any of the people in that cafeteria know something was up, so, you pretended everything was alright and finished eating your chips and took the last sip of your canned whisky and coke and stood up, walking slowly (when you actually wanted to freaking run) in the direction of the lab's metal door that led to outside.

You put your oxygen mask on, took a deep breath and walked out the door. 

You heard a noise, it was like a really heavy object falling to the floor. You also heard some strong thuds.

When you started to walk around to try and see what was happening, you realized your fear had become reality. Neteyam was sitting on top of Derek’s squirming body, his toned, striped thighs straddling Derek’s torax. You gasped when you realized Derek was no longer wearing his oxygen mask and Neteyam's huge hand was over Derek's mouth, preventing him from screaming for help. Neteyam looked at him like a hunter looks at their prey, while his big fangs and loud hisses put fear in the human boy's eyes. Derek was completely terrified.

Your heart beat sped up insanely and your hands were now cold as ice. You were afraid for Derek’s life.

You knew that the way Neteyam was taking out his frustration and jealousy on Derek was indescribably far from okay but still, as cruel to Derek as it seemed, you still felt incredibly sorry for the Omatikaya in front of you.

At the end of the day, you had a big percentage of blame for what he was doing right now. You were confused and afraid and torn but you knew to whom your heart belonged and it was not Derek. So why the hell were you being so selfish to the point of hurting two boys at the same time just because you didn't know how to deal with your own feelings? You realized it was time for you to stop being a coward and put an end to that madness.

You could tell Neteyam was not okay mentally and you knew that you were being toxic too, that you were contributing for his mental state to get worse with your indecisiveness and fear, despite his efforts to show you he would never hurt you. You wanted to stop hurting him and help him instead, to finally let go and admit to yourself and to him that yes, despite the way you had been acting, you were in love with him too.

"Neteyam, don't!! Let him go, please!!" You shouted, running towards the human and the na'vi boy.

You finally got close to Neteyam. He stopped and looked at you, his eyes so fiery, the calm golden pools they always used to be were now boiling with feelings of anger, jealousy, hurt and betrayal.

"For me! Please?" You pleaded him, looking deep into his eyes while stroking his strong blue arm

You watched that beast inside of Neteyam slowly calm down, as his feline ears pointed downwards and his eyes became softer. He moved his hand away from Derek’s mouth and the human boy let out a series of labored breaths. Neteyam slowly got off of him, revealing his beyond intimidating height as he stood up, and stepped away from him.

You walked as fast as you could to where Derek's oxygen mask was laying on the floor and picked it up, checking if was broken (it wasn't! Thank you, Universe.) and went back to where he was lying down and gave it back to him.

Neteyam watched your movements and felt jealous when you got close to Derek, so, once you got back to the place where you were standing before, Neteyam stood right next to your arm. His instincts told him to mark his territory.

Derek swiftly put it back on. He was almost completely out of breath. Derek breathed in deep once the mask was covering his face, taking in all the oxygen he possibly could.

"Are you okay?" You looked down at Derek’s body, searching for any visible wounds. There were none, at best. "God, I'm so sorry about this…"

"Yeah, I'm fine, somehow." Derek seemed afraid, shocked, frustrated and angry, all simultaneously, as he got off the floor and got back on his feet

"Please, don't tell anyone that you saw Neteyam or that he tried to hurt you, okay?"

"What the fuck?!! This psycho almost tried to kill me!! Why are you defending him?!"

Neteyam hissed at him when he heard what he had just called him but you squeezed his arm and he looked at you, remembering your pleas were the thing that were keeping him from killing that small, pink male. Even though it hurt him deeply that you were protecting that human, he couldn't bring himself to ignore you when you were begging him not to hurt Derek. You had Neteyam in the palm of your hand.

"You don't understand! If you let anyone in that lab know what Neteyam did to you, the RDA will eventually know about it too! Do you understand how serious this is? Do you wanna see Neteyam dead?!" You urged him, looking deep into his eyes "You could even help start another war between the humans and the na'vi. Do you understand that it is a much bigger issue than it seems to be? Just forget about what happened and I'll make sure Neteyam won't ever try to hurt you again."

Derek smirked in contempt 

"How can you be so sure he will listen to you?"

"I know he will! He loves me. And… I love him too."

Derek’s face had a big question mark all over it now and his mouth fell open.

Neteyam seemed to be shocked for a while. He did not expect you to say that, at all. He thought you would never love him back. Neteyam couldn't seem to believe those words had actually just come out of your mouth.

You breathed in deep, trying to stay calm amidst all that chaos "This thing between us…" You looked at Derek "It's over. I don't know why I was still insisting on it, I never even felt attracted to you, in the first place. I'm sorry."

"I'm outta here! All of this shit that's going on… feels like a fucking nightmare"

"Can you do as I said and not tell anyone about Neteyam? Nobody, ever? Please?!" You were nervous, brows furrowed, talking fast

"Okay!! Just let me go now! I think it's better if you and I keep some distance from each other from now on. I don't want your crazy na'vi boyfriend trying to kill me again." 

Neteyam hissed at Derek again when he heard the word "crazy" and Derek rapidly looked at him, startled, but couldn't be brave enough to spend more than some seconds staring at him, so, he swiftly looked away 

"Neteyam, please!! He's going already." You looked at Neteyam, a bit angry and impatient, asking him to calm down "Just go, Derek." You spit out and sighed, feeling physically and mentally drained after having to stop that stupid fight

Derek finally turned his back to you and Neteyam and left.

You looked at Neteyam. His eyes were glued on you. Those pretty amber eyes. His face wasn't full of hatred and anger anymore. His demeanor was much calmer now. His body language radiated love towards you. His tail was wagging softly. You felt pain and regret consuming your chest. How could you have treated Neteyam so badly last night? You realized now you couldn't hold him to the same standards you hold human males. The na'vi are animalistic beings, in spite of their high intelligence. And worse, how could you be irresponsible enough to kiss Derek even not actually wanting to, making Neteyam see it and get as hurt as he did? You sure were being trashy.

"My tawtute…" he cooed as he turned to look in your eyes "I won't let you run away from me anymore." Neteyam had a big smile on his lips "I don't care if you try to. That's all I needed to hear, that you love me. Now that you've said it, even if you didn't say it directly to me, I'm gonna fight for you even harder, even if you keep trying to push me away, I will keep bothering you." He kept smiling, blissful "You're like an Ikran. I just need to be patient with you. Eventually, I'll tame you and you'll be mine. All mine, hi'ì 'emyu." (small cook) "Bonded to me through tsaheylu. I can be patient and I will be."

You could only look at him, stare at his face and ask yourself why. Why was he willing to put so much work into making you his mate? 

"I'm not gonna run away from you anymore." You finally said "I'm done running. I'm done keeping myself miserable and alone because I'm too afraid to trust you and let you in. While trying to keep myself "safe", I was hurting myself and hurting you. I'm not doing that anymore, Neteyam. I was so stupid… I can't really say what it is, but there's just something about you… I think about you all the time, since the first time I saw you when you appeared for me outside that window. I don't believe someone can fall in love so fast but…" You were about to burst into tears "I'm in love with you."

Neteyam looked at you with the biggest smile on his plump lips, while his heart beat uncommonly fast inside his chest. He was overwhelmed with joy but as he was seeing the tears welling up in your eyes, he felt like he was about to cry too. But he didn't. Having learned throughout his whole life to always act with self control and rationality in front of everyone, - not really by choice, but because he knew that was how the Olo'eyktan to be should act, to keep a good reputation, to let his people know he was strong enough to control his emotions and not let them get in the way of him making good decisions for the Omatikaya - his ability to show some aspects of his feelings was a bit impaired now and that included crying. Even though he almost cried in front of you when you rejected him, he couldn't bring himself to cry of joy, now that you were saying that you wanna be with him too.

"I'm sorry for… what you saw. Me and Derek. I never liked him, Neteyam. He was just-"

"Yawne, no." Neteyam interrupted " It's okay. I don't wanna hear about that human." He looked disgusted only by the thought of Derek "And I don’t want you thinking about him either. You're mine now. Just forget about him. It's me that you like, right?" He gave you a gentle smile now and you nodded your head positively "Then focus on me, yawntutsyìp."

You looked at him, shyly, and smiled

"So… Can I ask for a hug, now?" your heart beat fast inside your chest cavity as you nervously said that

"Oeyä tawtute…" (my human) "You don't even need to ask." He opened his big, strong arms as he spoke "Come here."

༊⁀➷

Taglist: @kitsunefirewail @tumblingdevils @a-blog-name-2003 @xylobee @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @thehoneymushroomhealer @melllinaa @annaibansworld @siriuslysmoking @avatar4eva @ellabellabus07 @badbishsblog @neteyamsmate4life @c-h-i-l @criticallybella

[kikimurphys]

Behind Closed Doors (Part 6)

Pairing: Cillian x Y/N

Warnings: Anxiety

After finishing up some tasks at work, you decided to meet with Livvy for lunch. You needed a friend to talk to, someone who understood the whirlwind of emotions you were going through and could give you some advice. Livvy had been your rock, your confidant since you moved here, and you knew she would be there for you now.

As you walked to the café, you couldn’t help but think about Cillian and the conversation he must be having with Siobhan and Max. The heaviness of the situation weighed on you, but you tried to focus on the positive—your baby girl. The ultrasound pictures in your bag were a reminder of the life growing inside you.

Livvy was already seated at a table by the window when you arrived. She looked up and smiled warmly as you approached.

“Hey, mama-to-be,” she greeted, standing up to give you a hug. “How’s this little bean?” She looked at your stomach.

You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you. “She’s doing great. We had the ultrasound this morning. It’s a girl!”

Livvy’s eyes sparkled with excitement. “That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you. Can I see the pictures?” She was so excited for you, already planning a baby shower.

Sitting down, you pulled out the ultrasound photos and handed them to her. She looked at them with awe. “She’s beautiful. I’m so glad everything’s going well with her. But how are you holding up?”

“Oh just fine, I'm really hungry though. Have you ordered yet?” you browsed through the menu, craving something meaty.

“And what about Cillian, have you seen him?” Livvy’s expression turned more serious.

With a sigh, you replied, “He came with me to the ultrasound this morning. He seemed happy but I don’t know. It’s been hard for him, you know? He already has a son and, just yesterday he told his wife about me, and she kicked him out.”

“Oooh, harsh.”

“Yeah, I know,” you said, looking down at the menu, trying to focus on anything but the tumultuous thoughts in your mind.

Livvy reached across the table and squeezed your hand. “I’m sure it’s really tough on him, but it sounds like he wants to be there for you and the baby. That’s a good start.”

You nodded, grateful for her support but still uncertain about the future. “I hope so but the thing is, I know he wants to be a part of her life.” You placed your hand on your bump. “But.. I really want to be with him again. It felt so right when we were together, and I sometimes feel he wants me too but, I don't want to get my hopes up. You know how devastated I was when he broke up with me the first time.”

Livvy leaned back in her chair, a thoughtful expression on her face. “I understand, Y/N. But sometimes, you have to take a chance, especially when you feel strongly about someone. You can't let fear hold you back from happiness. Maybe it's worth telling him how you feel, now that he's single.”

You chewed on your lip, considering her words. “Yeah, maybe you're right. But I don't want to ruin our friendship or make things awkward between us.”

Livvy chuckled. “Oh, come on. Life's too short for what-ifs. Take your shot, girl. Who knows? Maybe this time, it'll be different.”

You couldn't help but smile at her encouragement. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to take that chance and see where it led.

“So, how’s your new job?” You quickly changed the topic, trying not to overthink your situation with Cillian.

As she told you about her week at her new job, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you. Spending time with Livvy was like hitting the reset button on your worries. Sure, Cillian and everything else was up in the air, but at that moment, you were just two friends catching up over lunch.

After the meal, you and Livvy parted ways, feeling a little lighter and a lot more cheerful than when you had first sat down. With a renewed sense of optimism, you headed back to work, you still had a lot of work to catch up on and wanted to finish up early for an early night.

After finishing up labeling and storing the costumes on set, you head back to your apartment, exhausted, and you decide to make some pasta for dinner, craving the warmth and ease of the familiar dish.

Meanwhile, after packing up some boxes and leaving his old home, Cillian went looking for an apartment to rent. After checking out various places, he finally signed a lease for a spacious property in the heart of the city. It was close to your apartment and on the first floor, with a terrace and a small garden. The apartment was furnished, allowing him to move in right away, though he still had to bring over the rest of his belongings. He could already picture your daughter growing up there, and you, too, were part of that vision, playing with her in the garden.

As he started to unpack, his mind wandered back to you. How beautiful you had looked that morning at the ultrasound, the joy and love shining in your eyes as you saw your baby girl on the screen. He remembered the way you had smiled, the warmth in your touch when you held his hand. Settling into his new home, Cillian felt a mix of emotions. There was relief in finding a place to start fresh, but there was also a lingering sadness from the conversations with Siobhan and Max. He knew he had made the right decision, but it didn't make it any less difficult.

Adding to the stress, he still had to tell his family and Max about this new situation. He hadn’t told Max about the baby right away, worried it would be too much of a shock for him. Cillian wanted to ensure he approached the subject with care, knowing how delicate the situation was. He needed to find the right moment, the right words, to explain everything to his son.

The apartment, though furnished, felt empty without the presence of loved ones. As he unpacked boxes and arranged his belongings, he couldn't help but think about the future. He imagined Max visiting, running around the small garden, and you and your daughter being a part of this new space. He wasn't sure if you were down for that too. Both of you were confused about each other's feelings and what you wanted.

Cillian knew he had to talk to you, to understand where you stood and what you wanted from this relationship. He missed you, missed the connection you had, but he was also aware of the pain and heartbreak that had been part of your past. He didn't want to rush things or pressure you, but he needed to know if there was a chance for a future together.

As he sat down on the couch, Cillian picked up his phone and typed a message to you.

"Hey, just finished unpacking the first few boxes. The place is starting to feel like home. I was thinking... maybe we could talk sometime? I feel like we have a lot to discuss. I hope you're doing well."

He hesitated for a moment before hitting send, unsure of how you would respond. The uncertainty was hard, but he knew that clarity was needed for both of you to move forward.

On your end, as you stirred the pasta sauce and set the table, your phone buzzed with his message. Reading his words, a mix of emotions washed over you. You wanted to see him, to talk and understand where things stood between you two, but there was also a part of you that feared getting hurt again.

Taking a deep breath, you replied, "Hey Cillian, I'd like that. We do need to talk. Maybe we can meet tomorrow? Hope you're settling in okay."

With the message sent, you felt a bit anxious. What did he want to talk about? The uncertainty gnawed at you, mingling with the anticipation of seeing him again. You finished making the pasta and sat down to eat, trying to distract yourself with a movie, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Cillian. You felt so alone at night and craved his loving touch, at least one more night. Livvy’s words came back to you: “Take your shot, girl. Who knows? Maybe this time, it’ll be different.”

The movie played on, but you barely noticed the scenes. Your mind was filled with memories of Cillian—the way he made you laugh, how your bodies melted together, and the overall passionate intensity of your time together. You missed him more than you wanted to admit, but the fear of getting hurt again was a constant shadow in your mind.

You tried to push the thoughts away and focus on the movie, but it was no use. The uncertainty of what tomorrow's conversation might bring weighed heavily on you. Eventually, you turned off the TV and decided to go to bed early. There was another long day of shooting ahead, and you needed the rest.

tags:

@thistheivyseason @galactict3a @xsweetcatastrophe @mamawiggers1980

[cherryc1nnam0n]

Coffee for your head | Eddie Munson x FEM!Reader

Summary: Eddie is in his death bed... He has so much to say...

Cw: Major angst warning!! Major character death, sad topics, illness, death bed, agonizing, little smut

Writer's note: This is based off Death Bed by Powfu. I was listening to it when coming home from work, and I wanted to write it as Eddie and you

Don't stay away for too long, don't go to bed

I'll make a cup of coffee for your head

It'll get you up and going out of bed

"I'm sorry, you don't have long enough... Maybe, 4 months"

That was the moment their lives changed

Only at age 25 Eddie Munson has been diagnosed with lung cancer, terminal, there was nothing the doctors could do to safe him

"Eddie... No..." You had whispered grabbing his hand

A lonely tear had left his eye without him noticing, he just let out an anguished breath

Yeah, I don't wanna fall asleep, I don't wanna pass away

I been thinking of our future, 'cause I'll never see those days

I don't know why this has happened, but I probably deserve it

I tried to do my best, but you know that I'm not perfect

"I would recommend enjoying the last moments you have together, do the things you love, eat what you like, just, make good memories in the mean time"

The couple had gone home in silence, quiet sobs being heard from her as she held his hand during the ride home

They had moved together 3 years ago, making a small apartment their safe home, but now it had became all moody and sad

It was no lie that Eddie smoked a lot, since he was a teen, but his cancer had been too aggressive and it was taking him out really fast

"What am I gonna do without you Eddie?" You said sobbing into his chest as he held you close to him

"Live..." You cried even harder

"I can't live without you Eddie, you're my whole life"

I been praying for forgiveness, you've been praying for my health

When I leave this Earth, hoping you'll find someone else

'Cause, yeah, we still young, there's so much we haven't done

Getting married, start a family, watch your husband with his son

That night he tried to calm you down my making love to you, slow and tender, with lots of love in each move he made, his kisses filled with sorrow and pain, he knew he didn't have long to do this so he had to enjoy the moments he had you

During the days his health went downhill, he couldn't move a lot, his breathing would be different during the night, you prayed every night to whoever was out there to save him but they never seemed to answer back

Soon he had to use oxygen to breath properly, moving out of the bed was too much work as time went on

"It's almost time for me to go baby..." He had said to you one day

You had cried onto his chest, begging him not to leave you

I wish it could be me, but I won't make it out this bed

I hope I go to Heaven, so I see you once again

My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings

Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending

"I love you so much Y/n..."

"I love you too Eddie"

"You'll find someone else baby, someone who will love you so much" you shook your head

"I only want you, you're my only love"

He caressed your cheek

I'm happy that you here with me, I'm sorry if I tear up

When me and you were younger, you would always make me cheer up

Taking goofy videos and walking through the park

You would jump into my arms every time you heard a bark

"Remember that day at the fair? When you got lost and I found you near the fountain?" You nodded "I'll find you again in another life baby"

Cuddle in your sheets, sing me sound asleep

And sneak out through your kitchen at exactly 1:03

Sundays, went to church, on Mondays, watched a movie

Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me

"You can go Eddie... Rest my love" you had finally accepted what was to come

"I love you..."

"I love you too..."

With one final smile he closed his eyes and finally left this world...

Don't stay away for too long, don't go to bed

I'll make a cup of coffee for your head

It'll get you up and going out of bed

[compassionatereminders]

Hello Kat. I know you are anti-psych, but also supportive of people using treatment options that work for them. And I just need some encouragement.

I am going to be starting a partial hospitalization program (I spend 4-6 hours a day on the ward getting various treatments like psychiatric appointments and group therapy) next week. I’ve been having meltdowns more and more frequently and am becoming more verbally aggressive and paranoid about my family’s intentions and interactions with me. I’ve also been struggling for years (against brain fog and chronic pain/fatigue) to set and keep to a daily self-care routine other than the absolute necessities like taking my medication. So I’m pretty sure this will be more helpful than harmful even if none of the treatment really helps my symptoms much. At least I will be getting out of the house and kept to a routine.

But I’m so nervous. A family friend said this program was really helpful, but the online reviews for this facility are. Less than stellar. Several uses of the term “revolving-door”, which is how my assessment last weekend felt. I don’t want to start this, absolutely hate it and find it more harmful than helpful for whatever reasons, try to quit early, and have it negatively impact by disability claim. I’m worried it will be too draining and I’ll be unable to get anything else done for the 4-6 weeks I’m there, and I have doctors appointments to attend and apartment hunting to do. But I desperately need more support than I’ve been getting for the last 9 (12? 15?) years.

Can I just…. I guess I just need someone who’s been there (Not My Mother) to tell me it will be okay? That one (hypothetical) denial of treatment won’t completely destroy my future?

Your reassurances to others have often been very helpful or affirming to me, so even if you don’t post this, just know I appreciate your blog so much, and you being on disability and in a support home and being completely okay and mostly content with your life is incredibly valuable to me.

I would love to, but I just can't promise you that. I can say that a bad hospitalization is unlikely to permanently destroy your entire future, but I can't just reassure you that this hospital is a good place or that the treatments they offer will be helpful. I think it's very valid to give it a shot regardless, but I can't know if it'll be worthwhile, and I don't want to lie about it to cheer you up. But I am sending my love and I can say that I really do hope this will be a good and helpful experience!

[brightdarkness-2013]

Chapter 21: Kick It Harder And Maybe It'll Get Somewhere!

Summary:Jazz thinks up ways to cheer Prowl up.

“You’re really strong, Prowls. I know it doesn’t really seem like it, but you’ve endured a lot since the destruction of your nest.”

It was a warm Thursday afternoon. The early morning chill had long since passed and my main jobs seemed to be with the mers so far as it was better for me to be in the area to support Prowl. It had been brought up by Ratchet and supported by Aid. Since Blaster had his own goals I was the only other option. So I had little lessons on mers to look forward to every once in awhile when they had time and how they behaved and reacted to various marine life in depth. Ranging from pod members themselves to how they acted and reacted to different mer pods of various species to the plants they were familiar with.

“You’ve really had a rough go of things since birth really. Splitting off on your own to find another pod to merge with. Must’ve been difficult to find a pod to merge with that had two spots open. And you’ve lost a lot since then. But things will get better. Just hang on a little longer.”

I looked up to look at the mers that were watching as per usual. Quiet and dare I say curious? Their behaviour was something else. A complete 180 since Barricade had fallen ill and was taken away to the medbay. I took a second to place a name to them. Magis Accuratius. They were a type that were built for strength rather than speed or stealth as several others, but they were a peculiar type. It was actually kind of amazing how they worked. They built their nests with anything they could. They were known to make little fortresses for protection out of sunken ships and anything else that they could get their hands on. They caused trouble sometimes by taking apart structures underwater that were still in use, but most of the time they stayed away from the shore and people. Unfortunately they came into contact with people who went to scavenge the sunken materials and they were aggressive and protective of their nests like any mers. They had plenty of materials in their tank to build what they’d like, but so far it was untouched. What they had started had been abandoned with the death of their pod mate.

Prowl didn’t pay them any attention. He never spared a glance their way anymore. I knew he was aware that they were watching him, but I suppose it didn’t really matter when he was hurting like this. He was suffering so what did they matter? I shifted to slide him off of my lap and lay next to him. He reburied himself into me. Effectively hiding in my chest. I pet his ear fins.

“I promise ya that things will be ok. We just need to take this one day at a time. Keep looking too far ahead and it’ll seem impossible. Ya can’t see the end from here and it makes it seem hopeless. Trust me, Prowl, I know. I’ve had my own struggles. Different, but it’s the same concept. Ya can survive this and one day ya can look back and you’ll realize how far you’ve come.”

He was quiet, but his ear fins twitched. He was listening at least. He had been silent ever since that day and I wanted him to say something even if no one could understand. He had no one to talk to now, but that didn’t stop me from hoping. He had made sounds back at the cove and had greeted Blaster back when he had first gotten here with Barricade. Maybe he’d be able to talk with the others. They weren’t threatening him anymore so maybe they’d start talking one of these days. I know Prowl could use someone to talk to. Hell I wouldn’t mind him talking to me. Even if I couldn’t understand I’d still listen and he’d get it out. Damn language barriers.

“Ya know if ya want to talk I’ll listen… I know it seems really stupid as I can’t understand and I have no clue whether or not ya can actually understand me, but I think it’ll be good for ya. Ya can talk whenever ya feel like it and ya can take all the time you need. Otherwise I can just talk your ear off. I can be a pretty good distraction I think. It’s better than just sitting in silence and thinking about what happened. It’s kinda why I turned to music so long ago. It fills the silence and chases away the demons. Do ya have music down there? I know your language kinda sounds like you’re all singing, but that’s different.”

I paused as he shifted and curled further into me. I had hoped he was going to do something, but no. At least he had moved. I slid my hand down to his restless wing fin. It ceased its twitching when I pet it.

“Ya can just hit me or something if ya want me to shut up. I can’t tell what ya want, but I’m sure ya can get whatever ya want across. You’re smart. Look at ya opening doors and escaping traps and what not. Ya really are the sharpest they’ve come across so far from what they’re saying. Honestly you’re probably more clever than a lot of people in the world come to think of it. Oh I know maybe I can bring in some puzzles or something and we can work on those together. It’ll give ya something to do and it’s much better than just sitting here all day.”

This was actually a good idea. Prowl needed something and a change could help. Maybe we couldn’t speak, but we could make this work. We could work together on something. I could get some puzzles and buy a can of that ‘Never wet’ spray stuff and some puzzle glue so they wouldn’t fall apart.

“I bet ya could figure out puzzles if ya could figure out doors. It’s kinda the same thing.”

Next

First

Masterpost

[fictitious-fluff]

IVE FINISHED THE GIFTTT even though its a few days late- I was your secret santa!!! Merry late Christmas XD

First time writing for tadc, was definitely interning. Might have been a little rushed and short since I had some trouble writing at the start, but I hope you like it ^^ @colinthegaycomputer hopefully I dont have any typos LOL

Tysm to @hypahticklish for hosting this @squealing-santa! Was rly funn

-

Unusual Comfort

Fandom: The Amazing Digital Circus (TADC)

No Pairings

Summary: A little situation left Pomni alone and down in the dumps. Kinger wants to help.

Word count: 827

Masterpost

Breathe.

That's what Ragatha would have said if she wasn't busy.

Jax and Zooble had been fighting and Gangle had been caught in the crossfire. Obviously, that didn't end well, with them becoming bound together. Ragatha had left Pomni near the stage while she helped the others out of a tangled gangle. A Pomni who was hyperventilating, but claimed she was alright to be left alone. She didn't want to make things worse. Ragatha didn't want to ask Kinger either. Someone who forgets what they are doing every 5 seconds would probably not be of help with the Gangle situation.

So here Pomni was, worrying over how she accidentally caused this whole mess when Gangle tripped on her. And a worried Kinger on the side of his fort.

"Hey Pomni, need some help there...?" Kinger finally walked over after contemplating for awhile. He might be mentally unstable but he still cared. He wasn't a monster...yet. "You want to come over and lie down? Relax a little?"

"H-huh? Oh. Uh s-sure I guess" She tried her best to have coherent words. Kind of hard to speak when you practically feel like you can't breathe.

Kinger put a hand behind Pomni and guided her to his pillow fort. Perhaps a little comfort could bring comfort to the poor jester.

Kinger brought out some water from his stash of snacks and handed it to Pomni. Can't have a fort without food and drinks. "Here, drink some water. It'll help to control your breathing. Drink slowly when you feel like you're breathing too fast."

Gulping down some water at first, Pomni started taking smaller sips. Eventually, her breathing did go back to normal. "Thanks.." Pomni replied, staring down at the drink.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Kinger broke the ice. "Do you need anything? You seem kind of down. Well, more than usual."

"Huh? Uh, no its fine." Pomni snapped back into reality. Her brows furrowed anxiously as sweat trickled down her forehead. Great, she just loved when people recognised she was uneasy.

More uncomfortable minutes of silence prompted Kinger to remember a trick Ragatha used to do for members of the digital circus. He didn't know what would be Pomni's reaction to it but... Was worth a shot.

"Would you like me to try something? It's just a thing Ragatha used to do to cheer up others" Kinger enquired.

Pomni wasn't rly listening at this point and just gave a 'mhm' without thinking. She was pretty spaced out.

What she didn't expect was fingers curling at her sides.

"Ghk-?! H-hey, what ahare you do-dohoing?" Pomni blurted out before covering her mouth, squatting down to evade the sensations. As much as she squirmed or turned, it never stopped. The fingers just expertly moved wherever she went. It didn't give her time to get used to one feeling, skittering and spidering all over.

Kinger followed as Pomni sank down. After a few more squeezes, he opted to change tactics, scratching in the hollows of her underarms.

Occasional muffled giggles and shaky breaths slipped out from her. It was unbearable but somehow felt weirdly...good? It made her grounded, real. You can't really think of anything else besides the maddening feeling while being tickled. Still, instincts kicked in. She tried to grab one of his wrists using one hand while the other still covered her mouth.

Emphasis on tried. You can't exactly hold on to a wrist that's not there, can you?

Kinger couldn't lie, it was actually kind of fun to see their friend laughing. She'd always been so on edge, it was nice to see her letting lose. He liked to see his friends being content.

As Kinger moved to lightly dusting her neck, Pomni squealed. Both her hands darting to her neck to try and protect it. Her shoulder and nose scrunching up as she twisted and leaned forward. Panicked squeaks poured out of her, now that she wasn't covering her mouth.

"You should let loose more often like this Pomni, it suits you." Kinger commented, as if he wasn't 'torturing' her right now. "It's good seeing you actually enjoy yourself."

Though that wasn't meant as a tease, it did embarrass Pomni a little. She blushed as she still tried to move away from the wriggling fingers. Pomni batted at them half heartedly.

Not wanting to overwhelm her, Kinger decided to relent. It was suppose to cheer her up anyways. "Feeling better?"

"Yeheah. Ihi think." Residue giggles lingered as Pomni rubbed off the tingles. She felt so..light. Like a weight had been lifted off of her. Guess laughter is the best medicine sometimes.

It was weird, she hadn't thought that tickling could have an effect on her like this. Or that she didn't actually mind it. Then again, she didn't really remember her past self so she didn't have much to compare.

Kinger grinned softly as he passed Pomni some more water to cool down.

"T-thanks for that.."

"Anytime."

[shytastemakerthing]

Heyy! Since I saw you do OC matchup, I'd like to request one with Twisted Wonderland for romantic!

So here's how I would describe my OC:

Name : Kogane

Age : 15/16 (first year at NRC)

Race/species : Human, fox/cat eyes pupils

Gender : Female

Moral alignement : Chaotic good(evil sometimes?)

Class : 1-A (with grim, ace and deuce)

Appearance : mid-long brown hair, golden eyes, 5'6 (167cm)

MBTI : ISTJ

☆Body☆

Strenght : 2,5/5

Dexterity : 3,5/5

Health : 3,5/5

Energy : 2,5/5

Beauty : 4/5

Style : 4/5

Hygiene : 4/5

☆Mind☆

Intelligence : 4/5

Happiness : 2/5

Confidence : 2/5

Humor : 5/5

Anxious : 5/5

Patience : 3/5

Playfulness : 5/5

Smug : 5/5

Sarcastic : 5/5

☆Behavior☆

With children : caring, sweet

With strangers : rude, harsh

With loved one : sweet, teasing, kind, playful, sarcastic in a joking way

With hated one : rude, mean and sarcastic in a harsh way

With animals : find them adorable but affraid of touch and pet them (except grim)

☆Likes☆

Video games, board games (cards, monopoly), challenges/deals, hugs, sleeping, cats, playing violin, dancing, singing and pastries

☆Dislikes☆

Bugs, reading, sports, too much sugar, flying (affraid of the height so she refuses kalim's invitation to fly on his magic carpet all the time)

☆More informations☆

Kogane is a OC i created based on how i would've "survived" at NRC, but i gave her more smug, sarcastic and evil personality than i am

So if she has to be in a dorm except ramschackle, she'd be in octavinelle, she get along well with azul and the tweels

But also get along well with everyone from every dorms (except : Rook (weirdo) and Sebek (too loud like stfu))

"It's fucked up" she thinks sometime... Because she HAS to return to her world, but they can't get too attached, or else it'll hurt them all

She really wants to return to her world because her father is (now) alone to take care of their family shop (her mom died at age of 7 from pneunomia, they were poor and couldn't save her)

And she also want to "repay" her dad for everythings he did for her

But she also wants to stay

Complicated, isn't it?

So i want someone to comfort her and make her forgets all of her problems by enjoying life with them

I also created some quotes with her and twst boys, here's some :

*Kalim having an indigestion because of Kogane.*

Kogane: I can explain.

Jamil: Can you?

Kogane: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

—————————————————————————

Kogane, during Mascarade event, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!

Idia: How?

Kogane: How what?

Idia: How could they be worse?

Kogane: They couldn’t, I lied.

Idia: ☠️

—————————————————————————

Kogane: Fuck.

Vil: We've got to work on your cursing.

Kogane: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

—————————————————————————

Thanks for reading! Sorry if i misspelled something and sorry for the looonng text!

Do ignore if you don't want to write, and take care of you! =]

Hello and thank you so much for this request and your patience, it is greatly appreciated! I do hope that you enjoy your match-up! Have a wonderful day/night!

Request: Twisted Wonderland Match-up

I match you with........

Leona Kingscholar

Cats and sleep. Need I say more?

With just one rather handsome lion man, she will have the best of both worlds. Leona is a lion beast-man, essentially a giant murder cat, and he spends much of his time asleep. It's a winning scenario

He already drinks respect women juice on the daily, and that goes into how he treats Kogane. Now, not exactly like a dainty princess, oh no. He knows for certain that Kogane can hold her own, but it is clear that she has his respect and support when needed

Chances are, she has become a pillow for him, not that she would mind. Sleeping cat in her lap, and said sleeping cat is a very handsome man

Ultimate win

More often than not, they will both sleep in his room more often. Nice and cozy in bed

He absolutely loves the sarcasm that ripples off of this woman, someone who can match up with him like that?

Yeah, he's in love

If she is with Leona, chances are she has met Cheka

Meaning he also gets left with her seeing how Kogane is with children...again, no complaints, he's a cute little furball

When it comes to comfort, Leona certainly is not the best with words, but he always believed that actions spoke much louder

He knows that this must all be unfamiliar to her, a whole new world with possibly no chance to get back to her own, a new culture, society, teachings, and so many other things, he couldn't fully fathom what she was going through

What he fails with words, his actions help, and they help a lot

Silent retreats to his room, holding onto her in bed, her head pressed against his chest, running his fingers through her hair and a long her back, anything to let her know that he is there and he always will be for as long as she would let him

And if that day ever came that she would have the chance to return to her world, and if she took that chance, he wouldn't hold her back, what she would want would matter more than what he would want, always

Thank you for your request!

[crystalsnow95z]

can you write a sickfic about jimin coming down with a cold while shooting run bts?

Hopefully this is acceptable to you. I don't have the spare time to rewrite it.. I just wrote without planning ahead. The ending sucks. If you don't like it I'll write a new one

Tw: IV used so needle meantion?

"Jiminie, choose a paper." J-Hope gently nudges Jimin to get his attention.

"Huh? Oh, right. Sorry." Jimin takes a piece of paper from the cup. "I got-"

"No, no don't tell them Jimin-sii. It's a scavenger hunt. You need to find the item. Telling the others will make it harder." Staff warns him.

"Ah, right. Thank you." He bows, fighting off the urge to cough.

"Are you feeling okay Jiminah? Your voice sounds off." Yoongi places a hand on his shoulder, worry flashing in his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Its just a little tickle in my throat. I'll rest when I get home. It's no big deal." Jimin smiles, trying to sound convincing even with another cough following his words.

"Are you sure Jimin? You could sit this one out and be an MC if you aren't feeling well." Namjoon frets as well, placing his hand on the back if Jimin's neck, checking for warmth.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just a little cold. It's just annoying." Jimin moves away from Namjoon, checking his objects again before folding up the paper, putting it in his jeans pocket."Okay, I'm ready."

The boys are led to a giant warehouse, where they must find their seven items and return to staff everyone given a bag to put their items in.

"You can team up if you like, but that means you have to find each item on every players list. If one finishes all seven, they must wait for their teammates to find all seven as well." Staff explains the rules once more when they reach the destination.

"So it's a gamble.." Yoongi weighs his options of working with someone or working on his own.

"Taehyungie-Hyungie team up with me!" Jungkook jumps onto the back of Taehyung, almost making both men topple forward.

"Aiish Jungkook-ah give me warning before you jump on me.." Taehyung scolds in fear, adjusting the mankae so he doesn't fall, heart racing. "You almost made us fall.."

"Sorry Hyungie. I just think it'll be more fun in a group and you're pretty good at these types of things." Jungkook apologizes, leaning into Taehyung’s cheek.

"Alright Koo. Let's do this together!" Taehyung quickly recovers his cheerfulness, forgiving him instantly.

"If they're teaming together, will you team up with me hyung?"J-Hope asks Yoongi.

"Allright..alright.." Yoongi gives in istantly.

Jimin thought about asking someone to team up with him, but thought against it. It would be easier to hide how awful he felt if he didn't have a team mate.

"Anyone else teaming up?" Staff asks.

"Do we have to decide now?" Jin asks.

"No. You can decide to team up in game but once you agree to be on a team you can't back out."

"Okay, okay. I got it. I'll decide later." Jin replied politely.

"Me too." Jimin adds in and with that, the game begins.

Jungkook gets off Taehyungs back, pulling him into the building.

"They're gonna burn out quickly if they plan to run around.." Yoongi smiles.

"And they might pass up ah item.." Namjoon adds in.

Jimin waits for the others to go in, pretending to adjust his head cam before sneezing into his hands. "Hehitgzh!"

"Bless you." Staff says sympathically.

"Thanks.." Jimin smiles politely, going inside the building. It was a lot bigger on the inside, making him feel worried about finding his items.

Mang toy, snow globe, purple bouncy ball, army headband, red mic, stuffed cat, and a heart.. I wonder if anyone has the same items on their list..

Jimin repeated the list over and over in his head, coughing into his elbow. He could hear the sound of J-hope happily squealing, so he could only assume he already found an item.

"The faster I do this, the sooner I can sit and rest.." Jimin mutters to himself, going through the building. The more he walked, the more tired he became.

"What if we collect things not on our list?" Jimin hears the voice of Jungkook in the hallway head.

"You want to sabotage the other teams?" Taehyung questions.

"What if they have the same idea? Or we can use the items as a trade off if they do!" Jungkook says excitedly.

Jimin covered his face, trying to fight off the urge to sneeze, but even with managing to stop himself, a cough escapes, his sinuses draining into his throat. He tried to muffle it while he runs, but it slowed him down, making him feel dizzy.

"Was that Minnie?" Taehyung questions, quickly turning the corner to find him.

Jimin tries to quickly go into a room to avoid him, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping, but Taehyung grabs onto the back of his shirt before he could get away.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't-"

"Are you okay Jimin-ah?" Taehyung shows no interest in blaming him for spying, only having concern in his big brown eyes.

"Huh..? That's what you followed me for?" Jimin blinks, dumbfounded.

"Of course. The game isn't important if you're unwell." Taehyung says in a serious tone, using his sleeve to wipe Jimin's nose.

"Don't do that you could get sick." Jimin backs up, quickly pulling out the face mask from his pocket, putting it on to protect his fellow 95er.

"It'll be easier on you if you had a teammate, they can help find things with you."

"But you already have Jungkook-ah. That's 21 things to find."

"We don't care about that Hyung." Jungkook adds in, finding the room they slipped into. "We can find 21 things together! We already have two!" Jungkook proudly presents a golden mic charm and a Koya plush.

"But that'll be.." Jimin's words get cut off by another bout of coughs. Jungkook takes this as an opportunity to take Jimin's paper from his back pocket as Taehyung strokes Jimin's back.

"More Minnie, it sounds like you're getting worse.." Taehyung frowns, taking Jimin's hand. "Don't worry. We'll find all your items plus our own!"

"But I said-"

"Too late! I already took your note. That means you gotta team with me!" Jungkook waves the red sheet of paper he pick pocketed. "We already got an item from this list!" Jungkook says excitedly, digging a bouncy ball from his pocket.

"See? It was destiny for us to work together! That makes one item each!" Taehyung smiles brightly.

"Oh alright.." Jimin didn't care if he won or lost right now. They still had to spin the penalty wheel and some of the things listed weren't so bad.

"We gotta hurry though. Do you want me to carry you Hyung?" Jungkook offers, getting down for Jimin to get on his back.

Jimin shakes his head, afraid if he spoke he'd cough.

"Oh alright.. the offers always there.." Jungkook straightens up, giving the paper to Taehyung to look over. The mankae line walks down the hallway together, Jimin staying a couple steps behind, surpressing another sneeze.

"Where should we go next.. the hallway goes in three different directions.." Jungkooks eyes dart from one hall to the other, trying to decide which is the best option.

"should we split up and meet up back here in 10 minutes, but let me see your lists first." Jimin had to get away, his head pounding from the pressure.

"You can take mine, I memorized it." Taehyung gives up his purple paper.

"Take mine too." Jungkook gives up his pink one.

Jimin nods, going right.

"Is it okay to let him go alone?" Jungkook watches him go. "He's looking pale.."

"He's gonna try to hide how he feels. It's better to let him go and let it out instead of him holding it to stop us from worrying.." Taehyung knew his friend very well.

Jimin slipped into a room, releasing the sneezes he was trying to hold in. "Hehtichih! Hehitch! He'iychiugh.." he whines, feeling the snot soak into the cloth mask. "Uuh.." he takes it off with a sigh, trying to clean it off with a crumpled up tissue.

"Here Jiminie." Jin offers him a new tissue. "Blow your nose for hyung."

"Aiish! Hyung you scared me!" Jimin jumps at the sudden new voice, accepting the tissue, turning away to try to clear his nose.

"Sorry Jimin. I didn't mean to." Jin says gently. "Namjoon-Ah was looking for you. He wanted to team up with you, but seeing those papers in your hand you already got a team."

"Oh, yeah.. they bullied me into it.." Jimin smiles fondly.

"I'm glad." Jin smiles. "I'll let you look in this room then. I found something already."

He waves a Tata doll proudly. "Take it easy okay? Do you want me to get staff for you?"

"No. Im fine. Its just a little cold. I can do this."

Jin gives him a small packet of tissues from his bag. "Please tell staff if it becomes too much okay?" He plants a kiss on top of Jimin's head before leaving.

"Thanks hyung.." jimin searches the room, looking at the papers over and over. He couldn't focus on the words, only taking a minute to forget half the list.

This is not good.. I'm gonna hold them back..

Jimin runs a hand through his hair, the stress of disappointing his team, only making his headache worsen. He buries his head in his hands, trying to take a deep breath to calm himself, but when he tries to fill his lungs, a hacking cough comes.

I don't feel well at all.. I'll just rest for a minute..

Jimin lays on his side, taking deep breaths to try to calm his nerves, closing his eyes. He only got a few minutes to rest before the itch returned to his throat,coughing up phlegm, sitting up again. "Wait.. a snow globe!"

Jimin rushes to underneath the table, relieved when he picks up the small globe. "Oh wow.. it's got the BTS logo inside with BT21 playing around it.."

"What does?" Jungkook asks, rushing to Jimin's side.

"This.." He shows him the snow globe. "Has it been ten minutes already?"

"No.. I just got worried about you.." Jungkook admits with a bashful smile. "Jinnie-hyung said you were sneezing a lot, so I went to check on you.."

"Thanks Jungkook-ah. I'm feeling better now that I found something. I was worried I'd only be dead weight.."

"Even if you were, its okay. If you want you can just rest in this room as me and Taehyungie will do it!"

"No. No, i can help." Jimin makes it to his feet. "I just don't think I can run without burning out."

"You don't have to run. I'll do all the running! When we find all 21 items I'll carry you to the entrance on my back!" Jungkook says confidently.

"Even if we find the last item all the way at the far end of the building?" Jimin teases.

"Mm.. I'll ask Taehyungie to help if that happens."

Jimin giggles, but it quickly turns into a cough.

"Let's go meet up with Taehyungie.." He quickly pulls Jungkook trying to not give him time to worry.

"Alright..." Jungkook doesn't stop him, meeting in the fork in the hallway for Taehyung.

"I found a heart!" Taehyung approaches proudly. "And a Stuffed puppy. It kinda looks like rapmon!" He shows the white dog. "Isn't it cute?"

"A heart was on my paper too.. does that mean we gotta find two?" Jungkook asks curiously.

"We should look for one just in case.. Jiminie how are you holding up? This room I found has a couch in it. You can lay down for a bit."

"Oh! I forgot! I found a rubber duck. That was on your list wasn't it Taehyungie?"

"Yes! We're doing good! So good!" Taehyung smiles. "Also I saw Namjoonie-hyung and Jinnie-hyung together. I think they formed a team. That means they'll have to find 14 items."

"That's good.. that doesn't put us at too much of a disadvantage." Jungkook smiles. "We could still avoid last place!"

Jimin relaxes, feeding off of their positive energy. He pulls out the snow globe from his bag, trying to show his contribution."Oh Tete look at this snowglo.." he nearly drops it when he starts coughing. Taehyung hugs him from behind, placing his hands on Jimin's to steady them.

"Are you okay Jimin-sii?" Jungkook takes the snow globe from Jimin, looking at him with wide panicked eyes. "Maybe you should lay down.."

Jimin gives in. He couldn't keep pretending he was okay. It was starting to hurt to breathe and he felt chills run down his spine. "Okay.."

Jungkook picks him up before he can argue, letting Taehyung lead the way to the room with a nice plush couch. "Here you go, Jiminie, nice and comfy.." He places him down, taking off his jacket for Jimin to use as a blanket.

"Thanks, Jungkook-ah.. I'll just lay down for a little bit, then I'll help.." Jimin curls up on his side, coughing into his fist.

"Don't worry about it, Minnie. Rest well, okay?" Taehyung gently moves Jimin's hair out of his face. "I'll come back to check on you soon. Okay?"

"Okay.. I'm sorry.." Jimin yawns, exhaustion hitting hard when his body starts relaxing.

Taehyung and Jungkook go to the door, but instead of Taehyung leaving, the two boys silently play rock, paper scissors, Taehyung hiding in the room, and Jungkook leaving.

Taehyung waited until he heard Jimin's nasally snore to come out of hiding, sitting on the floor in front of the couch gently stroking . "My poor Minnie, Jk is gonna get staff.."

Jimin wakes up laying in J-hope's lap. "Huh? When did i.." His voice comes out hoarsely, getting quieter as he tried to speak, trying to sit up to look around.

"Shh..don't talk baby and be careful.. you have an IV in." J-hope pushes him back down.

"What about the game?" Jimin disobeyed J-hope wanting his questions answered.

"Me and Yoongi finished, so I decided to come sit with you."

"Did..we lose?" Jimin asks.

"No. Everyone else is still in the game. Yoongi-hyung is watching the others still playing.

Jimin relaxes a little. "Who's winning?"

"Right now, it's Junggukkie and Tae. They got 2 more to find to Joonie and hyungs 4. It's a really close game." J-hope smiles. "You don't have to worry about not being there, so just take it easy. Can you drink some water for me?"

Jimin nods, sitting up slowly. J-hope opens the water bottle for him. The cool water felt nice on his sore throat.

"Jiminie is up? That's great." Yoongi's shoulders slump in relief when he comes over. "How are you feeling Jimin?"

"I'm feeling a little better now.." Jimin sniffles.

Yoongi looks for a tissue when he hears him. "Guess what Jiminie?" He asks wiping Jimin's nose.

"Huh?"

"Taehyungie and Kook got second. Namjoon-ah and hyung will be getting the penalty." Yoongi tells him with a smile. If they got last place, he was willing to take Jimin's for him feeling relieved he didn't have to.

Taehyung and Jungkook run up to Jimin. "We did it! We did it! We didn't get last place!" Jungkook cheers loudly.

"I'm sorry I wasn't much help." Jimin says guilt weighing in his chest.

"The thing Namjoonie-hyung and Seokjinnie hyung couldn't find was the snowglobe. There were only two in the whole warehouse. We probably wouldn't have won without you." Jungkook comforts Jimin, getting a smile.

"And with second place we get to keep the things we found, but I gave the dog to Namjoonie." Taehyung gives Jimin his bag from the game, it holding all seven treasures on his list.

"Thanks Tete. I'll treasure the snowglobe as our winning trophy." Jimin smiles, stifling another sneeze. He didn't want to ruin the mood.

"We decided we'll do the punishment in the next episode. We want to get you home.." J-hope squeezes Jimin's hand, watching staff remove the IV.

Jimin winces, staff quickly putting a bandaid over it. "Thank you.." he bows his head to staff. "I'm sorry, I worried everyone.."

"Don't worry..you can help it when you're sick. I'll make you some tea and jook when we get home." Jin ruffles his hair lovingly. "Hyung will take care of you. Let's do the outro and get home."

[fandom-frenzy]

I saw your carlos tennis post from a few days ago and you seem like you have a lot of knowledge and experience. He's so talented and he's like *the* player I support. But sometimes I'm like is he gonna be a fluke which is silly since he's literally only 21 and already has 4 grand slam titles. But like his consistency, sometimes those unforced errors, hard courts in general. Do you see improvement? What else should I look at besides just wins and titles? Honestly I don't even know what exactly I'm asking. Sorry for just popping in.

aww, thanks! I don't necessarily know I have that much more knowledge than others on here, but I have been watching tennis for a long time and so I think what I can really bring is perspective. there's a lot that has happened in tennis over the past 15-20 years.

so for starters, carlos is not a fluke. he's done some incredible things and he's still so young. a fluke is someone who wins madrid once and never makes to a quarterfinals of any other tournament. someone who has consistently shown the ability to dig deep, reach finals, win major tournaments, is not a fluke. two years ago when he burst on the scene people could make comments about whether it'll last, but at this point he's proven himself. he's a great player, and nothing that happens from here on out will diminish what he's done.

but, not going to lie, that does not necessarily mean he will continue to do well and have a long career into his 30s. it used to be that when you hit 27 your career was over and the younguns were going to consistently beat you. that's much less the case, but it still will vary person to person. he could be someone who peaks at 23 and then just doesn't do as well. and injuries happen. del potro is my first thought every time a conversation like this comes up. he was the next big thing in 2009. he beat the big three, he took the us open from federer, he was going to be the new big threat. and then he got injured. and he had a lot of ups and downs but never got back to that level. more recently thiem was a similar story.

another thing I think you should take a lot of hope from for carlitos is that he's probably the best all around court player we've seen. even in the big three, federer specialized in grass, nadal in clay, djokovic in hard court. they all could play well on all surfaces, obviously, but each had "their" surface. from what I can see, carlitos doesn't have that. he's good on all of them. which is amazing! and also means that there will be skills he needs to hone and get better at for each of the surfaces specifically because he isn't specializing in the same way others are. so looking specifically to your comment about unforced errors on hard courts, that's probably because he's still working out exactly how to play differently on hard indoor vs outdoor vs grass.

for what to look for in improvement, I'd say try to look at the patterns of how he plays, and how that changes. does he tend to do drop shots when it seems like he's tired? where does he serve to on each side of the court, and does he serve to particular places at stressful points (like down the T on break point)? how often does he go to the net, and does he seem comfortable volleying? do opponents start to use whatever pattern against him, and then does he change it up? the best players are those that always keep improving, even when they have a good game. like nadal was still tweaking his serving game in 2022. if you can look for those patterns and improvements (and commentators will be helpful with this too, they'll mention things) that may help you see how he's doing well, even when he doesn't win.

overall, cheer for your favorites and don't worry about if they'll have an enduring legacy or even ever win a match again. and maybe try to find other players to also cheer for. my favorite current player is diego schwartzmann, and let me tell you, it's been a rough few years. but by picking other people to watch I can still enjoy most tournaments. the era of the big 3 ended (later than people thought, but it still ended), the era of borg and connors and mcenroe ended, the era of sincaraz will end. have fun with it!

oh also watch doubles matches it'll give you a whole new set of things to watch players for (and it's great)

[blaze-vibes-here]

Notes: this is an rp between me and Sunny that was originally on quotev, that's why this first post is like this. I'm fine with others reading this (not sure about Sunny) but please don't rb this as it'll get confusing trying to figure out if it's a response or not. Cheers! ^^

Also, colour coded this to make it easier to know who responded with what. Does not need to be upheld throughout rest of RP!! ^^

Lucia looked around the kitchen, doing one last check that everything was in order before hitting start stream on the phone that she had set up. "Hi chat!" She exclaimed, waving as people began to join the livestream. "As you all can clearly see, this isn't our usual set up, buuuut, I'm doing a cooking stream!"

Her cat, Cookie, jumped up onto the counter, she she walked over to get her off the counter, while chat began spamming variations of "cat<3" and "cookie<3". "Bad Cookie, you know I'm gonna be cooking." Lucia mumbled, gently dropping said cat onto the ground, before turning back to her stream.

"Have you picked something to cook yet?" Popped up, a message from a donation. Lucia hummed to herself for a moment before shaking her head. "Thanks for the money, and no I have no picked something yet. I was thinking we could pick that all together." She said, smiling before adding, "so! Best look for a recipe now!"

Lelan just finished up his shift at a fancy ish restaurant and was headed to a coffee shop. When he got there he got a chai and sat down to watch his favorite streamer. He logged on to the stream and popped into the chat. He typed out …Hi Chat, a cooking stream! How fun!… and watched as Lucia was searching for a recipe.

Lucia scrolled through her phone, having put on a screen share that let the viewers see what recipes she was looking at. There was a couple recipes that seemed good, and that she had the ingredients for, but chat ended up telling her to find something else instead each time, be it that the dish took too long, didn't taste good or was too difficult to make.

Eventually, after a good fifteen minutes of debating with chat, someone posted a link to what looked to be a nice dish, using spices and veg that she liked. Though that wasn't the only thing that caught her eye."Oh! Hey! It's an L name!" She declared, as was a mini tradition that she had started, every time that she found a name that started with the name letters as hers, she'd point it out.

Lelan just smiled and watched. He took a sip of his coffee. He watched everything unfold and he started laughing at the cat walking along the counter.

Lucia scrolled through the recipe, already thinking that this one would be a good one to make. "So chat, what's the verdict? We make this one?" She asked, looking over at where she had set up a screen to show the chat, seeing that the majority of them agreed with her, saying that the recipe would be good.

"Alright then! Majority vote wins! I'll be right back, don't do anything illegal." She told chat, before moving out of frame. The opening of cupboards and stuff being grabbed could be heard, before she got back into frame, carrying a whole bunch of cooking utensils. She quickly set them down onto the counter, before shooing her cat off it again. "Damn it Cookie."

Lelan laughed again, he noticed it’s his recipe that she’s about to make. He took at sip of his coffee, and started typing out a reply to go with a small donation. chefLelan: That’s a hard one, I should know I made it 😂

Lucia took one last look at the chat, planning on just glancing at it before heading off to being cooking, but immediately made a double take when she saw Lelan's donation, doing the human equivalent of a computer blue screening.

"What?! No way!" She shouted, slightly louder than usual, before composing herself once more. "No way the actual chef is watching this stream." She said, with almost disbelief in her voice, though she was still smiling."Well, let's hope this goes as well as it can, and i hope you enjoy watching!" Lucia finished with a wave, before moving back over to her counter. "Aight, time to do this." She mumbled to herself.

Lelan shook his head with a small smile. He loved watching Lucia’s streams. He typed out in the chat : Do you have any questions that I can answer?

Lucia read the notification, before shaking her head. "None at the moment, but if I get any, well you'll probably know." She replied with a grin to the camera. "Okay! What's the first step again?" She said aloud to herself, looking back at the recipe, and beginning to follow it, carefully measuring the needed ingredients as best as she could.

Lelan sat back and watched as she tried to make this recipe. It started off fine then it slowly went down hill. “Good lord.” He mumbled to himself. He began typing again. chefLelan: The heat is too high on the stove,the milk mixture is about to burn. Take it off the heat now!

Yeah, it went down hill quicker than she thought it would. Lucia had thought that she'd at least manage to get to the fifth step before something went wrong, but here they all were.

"Thanks for that." Lucia said aloud, having noticed the message before rushing over to the stove and pulling the pot off the heat, though not before the fire alarm went off, causing a high pitched sound to go through all of the ears within fifty meters. "Lovely!" She grumbled, throwing her arms up into the air as she went to go turn of the noise before someone came knocking, either concerned or annoyed by the sound.

“Jesus Christ.” Lelan mumbled as he watched the chaos unfold before his eyes. At least she took the mixture off the stove, but it’s still burnt. He decided to send her a whisper with his instagram just in case she wanted any cooking tips or lessons.

Finally, after a minute of struggling against the screaming fire alarm, Lucia finally managed to get it to stop, and luckily nobody had come knocking to ask about it. She slowly moved back into the frame of the video, a somber looking expression on her face, looking at the burnt food. "Should have stayed playing videogames." She complained, just loud enough for the microphone to pick up on.

With a reluctant sign, she went to go clean up the mess that had been made, which she was luckily much better at than cooking, so it wasn't long before everything was spick and span once more. "I think that's enough chaos for one day," Lucia said, turning back to the livestream. "Probably just gonna order out today. Bye bye guys!" She waved before ending the stream.

After a moment of debating, she picked up her phone, and noticed the notification from Instagram. Clicking on it, she read the message from Lelan. She faintly smiled before responding.

ItsaLucia: omg, hi!! Thank you for the offer! Yeah, I'd love either of those if you're up to doing it!! You can probably tell just how bad I am, so anything could help!

Lelan watched as the stream ended and he shut his laptop and stowed it away. “Good lord Lucia.” He mumbled. His phone vibrated and he picked it up the see a notification from Lucia.

cheflelanrossiofficial: Np! I can give you tips but I think it would be easier to teach you. :) Lmk how a lessons could work and we can figure out details :)

ItsaLucia: oooo!! Yeah lessons can maybe work! I'm free most days after 2pm so any time after should be good!! :)

As she waited for a response, Lucia pulled up the app that she had for a local takeout restaurant chain to see what she could order for the day. She is definitely not going to be trying to cook anymore today.

[light-wynd]

Hi Wyndi! I hope it’s okay and not too forward to reach out to you in this way. I just wanted to thank you so much again for tagging me in your art of older Nagisa! 💙 It was so incredibly wonderful, and honestly very flattering (I was a little bit starstruck that such a talented artist would be inspired by some of my headcanons to draw something so beautiful 🥺). I was really inspired by your art to pick up a Nagisa story idea that I had been working on a while back but then my computer had a random shut down and I lost two pages of it. 🙈 Unfortunately that means I’ll be starting over or starting something new (which will take a bit longer—I apologize), but I thought maybe it might be a positive thing because I could reach out and ask you: is there something you would want the story to be about? One of the particular headcanons or something else? Since your art really inspired me, I thought it might be nice to make a story just for you if there was something in particular that you wanted. 💕 It’s okay if there is not though. Thanks again for sharing your wonderful art! I hope you have a great day!

(Also, unrelated but I saw your art of Sei from YTTD and it made my whole day so thank you so much for making and sharing that as well! I feel so spoiled that someone as talented as you draws my favorite characters! 🥰). Cheers!! 💕

AAAAAAA YOU'RE TOO SWEET QwQ Thank you so much!! I'm so glad that my art meant so much to you, it's always incredible to hear. And I'm super flattered that you decided to write a story for me! Especially after losing your progress on the original, that's always such a frustrating situation to happen that I'm pretty amazed you were thinking of me after that.

As for anything in particular that I'd like it to be about? Two of the topics from your headcanons that especially intrigued me and think would make for a really nice read were his roommate situation with Masaru and Jataro, or Nagisa's dynamic with his more energetic and upbeat eldest daughter, whichever one you're feeling up to more. But honestly, I'd be more than happy with anything you feel like writing about! And don't worry about how long it'll take, just take your time! ^^

Also, nice to have another Sei enjoyer over here, ahahah. I def plan on doing some more drawings of the YTTD crew again in the (hopefully) near future, him and Ranger included.

Hope you have a great day too! And thank you so much again!!

[talentforlying]

@nightmarecountry: ‘♬ GIMME. I love seeing you wax lyrical about Johnnyboy. — SONGS I LOVE

blood of angels - brown bird! THE john constantine song for me, actually!! the lyrics, the frenetic pace of the backing track, the clinical delivery that explodes into desperate rebellion on the chorus, the undertone of seething disdain and secret self-recrimination born of exhausted cynicism!! this is the song of someone who's cycled all the way around from deep depression to a motherfucking god complex, and if that isn't john constantine in a nutshell. you have lines like:

i drank the blood of angels from a bottle / just to see if i could call the lightning down / it hasn't struck me yet, and i would wage my soul to bet / that there ain't no one throwing lightning anyhow

which make me think of his tendency to just ride the synchronicity highway and trust it'll put him where he needs to be, and let him do what he needs to do. also, his general 'well if god was gonna kill me he'd have fucking done it already' attitude towards risk-taking and making bets on a bluff. also, he has literally snorted santa claus's bones to hype up his magic, so like, he would actually drink angel blood if he had reason to. then there's:

too many tries at tempting fate to call it over / and you get to thinking fate's got different plans / like maybe, i'm not born to die but to bring darkness to the sky / and pull that goddamn sun down anyway i can

which make me think of the laughing magician arc, where constantine learned that his twin was supposed to have lived in his place and his being born instead cursed the world, and his reaction to this — and to his twin saying that if constantine let him take over his body, the world would be fixed — was 'fuck you and fuck that, i can live with a damned world as long as i'm the one living in it'. constantine is someone who's gone his whole life being told he should have died, shouldn't have existed, shouldn't have been born, should've taken someone else's place. of fucking course he resents it, of course he's bitter about it. but if the universe wanted him dead, it should have tried harder. that's where this comes in:

you could be right, they might come for me at night / in angry mobs with torches bright outside my door / for all my spite, i might never win the fight / but i will rage against the light forever more

he is a survivor against all odds, against death and fate and destiny, and he will continue to survive against all odds. he doesn't have to be liked. he doesn't have to be wanted. his purpose is to keep up the fucking fight, no matter the cost, and that's just what he's going to do. and finally, the part that kind of breaks my heart:

don't try to come 'round here spreading sentiments of cheer / you told your last white lie, everything is not alright / you hope, you pray, you love the light of day / but there's no one up there listening tonight

the way this is sung, it feels like constantine's exhausted-ass friends telling him to fuck all the way off after he's done something he can't fix, but also? constantine expects the worst, but he does also hope for the best. i think there's a part of him that genuinely, genuinely wants things to turn out okay in the end, and it takes a piece out of him every time he can't make it all work out for everybody. he knows magic has a cost, he knows the price is steep. he knows he can't save everybody and that some people get exactly what they went asking for. he knows the world is dark and full of terrors and horrors beyond human imagining but within human hands to reach and craft. but he still hopes. he still finds joy and love in the little things in life. and it still hurts when it doesn't last.

+ song for the corinthian: okay evil eye - franz ferdinand not only gives me general corinthian vibes, but also fucks heavy specifically for our dark mirror relationship w/ corinth and constantine, like:

well, i have the evil eye / well, i, i, i see your soul / you wear it on your face / it's warning what you do

also i mean. you do wear eyes on your face, so if he wants your soul, all he's gotta do is take it off ya. also, "don't believe in god, but believe in that shit / (not me!) not me! i'd like to bring them down" is giving corinth vs dream to me? very rebellious kid talking shit behind a parent's back in a way. all bravado as long as they're out of sight, the kind of rebellion born of missing something in that relationship.