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I should’ve skipped this one, wth im doing here

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I felt it this awful about 14 years ago. That goddamn feeling will never fadd apparently. It will always be there in the background, waiting for the trigger to come out and take it all..

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No matter how great i look, it sucks anyway. It doesn’t work.

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Fuck, it is worst than i ever expected.

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Today i got to believe that i worth nothing..

I worth no ones’s love or attention..

No good positions

I feel how ugly and disgusting i am..

I’m a huge failure

No matter how hard i try.

This is all i can get.. and i can never be happy

I just wish this all can come to an end.. and that im dead. And forgotten

Just like im alive and forgotten.

I though i was worth something.. but apparently i got just lucky for moments..

And then I’m here.. alone.

Crying in bed..

Postponing all my goddamn tasks.. cause tasks all i got in life.. and weep.

Sugar ain’t solving it. Neither does chocolate. Not tonight at least.

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I never felt that ugly tho

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ماذا يفعل الانسان في وحدته وهو جعان ڤاليديشن؟ كل حاجة بتخيّش بشكل غريب وخلاص بقى بجد يعني..

مش عارفة فين المشكلة حقيقي.. انا متأكدة انها موجودة، بس بجد مش لاقياه��..

محدش واجهني بيها قبل كدة.. بس واضح انها كبيرة فشخ ومضيقة المكان.

فالناس بتمشي..

تمام عادي.. بس افهم ايه المشكلة..

ايه حصل؟

طب اعمل ايه؟

Therapy sucked for the 5th time anyway.

I’m always in pain.. and in the best case I’m numb.

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Deserted

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And yea.. that look can never be for any other.

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I was getting kinda use to being someone you loved..

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Nothing will heal your broken soul anyway.. just keep working.

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I see many females that are out of their partners league..

Why the hell you guys are miserable?

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My life has been challenging too. Many people have faced tougher challenges than mine. May be you are one of those. I tried to kill myself years ago but somehow I survived. I don't know about your suffering. I can't understand your pain. I ask my only listener to grant me death as early as possible but till today I am alive.

:(((

I wish (if there is anybody listening) gives you happiness till that granted death.

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I sincerely wish i died 6 years ago.

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I look more beautiful that i should today.. meh

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I just don’t like me anymore. And i would truly love to disappear and never be found again. Sadness has been eating my soul for years and i just can’t take it anymore.

I wish i can feel what you can feel, people. What you called happiness, satisfaction, peace, love..

All i got is pain. I cannot take it anymore.

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It feels so heavy today..