#but this blog honestly made me realize how much i love it pronouns | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meatriarchived · 10 months

Text

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

NAME : renee! c: ( government-assigned actual middle name fbnskdj )

PRONOUNS : they / she

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : ims on tumblr was the normal for me cause i never really did disc til this blog but i Am mostly chatting on disc nowadays. i can be slow / notifs may be funky so i always say to not like... get upsetti if i take a bit to reply or i forget to my mind is an actual fog-haze most of the time, time to me gets very hazy and i wont really realize days have passed me by at times so. i ask patience for that front c;

NAME OF MUSE(S) : oh hell, we are primarily in Texas Trenches here so...... maria & ana flores, danny [ alejo-osorio, not 'gaines' ugly ass name- ], Mother nancy s.awyer, thomas h.ewitt / le.atherface, our mom luda mae he.witt, elizabeth 'birdie' callaway [ oc ], constance 'simmi' simone [ oc ] + my other trials kiddos.

EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG ( MONTHS / YEARS? ) : writing in general - since 3rd grade. rping here on tumby - since about.... 2014.....? idk really. its been at last 10+ yrs. ive been in a couple different r.pcs but horrors' typically been such a home to return to.

BEST EXPERIENCE : point blank all honesty? these last 2-3 months since i came back. genuinely. like ive had a good share of fun and silly moments over the years yes. but. something about the mutuals ive met coming back from a near 2 yr hiatus to this blog has been really heartwarming to me. i havent had remotely as welcoming or fun and silly times connecting with the actual people behind the blog, behind the muse, as i have here. i never had so many wild out of pocket verses or ships, never had affiliates/mains/etc, never had near as much fun plotting or simply gushing over muses and their dynamics in those 10+ yrs being here on and off than i have in this lil texas corner of the horror r.pc. like the last few years have Not Been Kind in my offsite life, and having a massive writers block due to offsite struggles for those years near killed my love for writing as a whole - not just rping but just. writing in general. and while that blocks still not fully gone rn ( staring my 100+ inbox rn in the fucking eyes ) just? the fact that i feel alot more connected to a point with those ive met here this time around has genuinely made me feel alot happier in these few weeks than i have in quite a while. so far this takes the cake by a complete landslide in terms of best experiences ♡ and much of that is very much thanks to those mutuals.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : look. ive been here a long time. ive been part of r.pcs that have had alot of shit stirred in it. im going to be 30 in january lmao and my offsite life has more than enough of its fair fucking share of bullshit. i dont have the mental nor emotional capacity to deal with the kinds of online pettiness or silliness that has cropped up. ive had more of my share in people who are ma.nipulative, ab.usive, etc that i dont really care to engage with in a space that i really try hard to ensure stays as peaceful and as much of a solace to myself as possible. if you're chill and just here to vibe? then we're completely gucci lol. but i dont respond well in the slightest to guilt trips, or passive aggressive attempts at getting interactions or anything. it makes me wildly uncomfortable - seen it too much, deal with similar way too much w people in my offsite life and im honestly so tired and jaded to it all. im here to chill, chat about muses, go to Texas, just. relax and take it easy. got enough shit goin' on offsite as is let me just have fun here :') like literally just. read my rules, dont push me or my boundaries, let us just have a good time and chill leave the petty shit at the door im begging.

MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT : okay look- FNJKS my go-to, my habit, is always gonna be Angst / the horrors. its been that way for many years. you can ask my offsite co-writer/friend, she's literally been Tormented by me for nearly two decades now- FKJSDA but seriously, it doesnt entirely matter. angst, fluff, horror, etc etc like. i enjoy where the character takes me - if its gearing towards angst? then imma be as heartbreaking as possible. if its sweet fluff? i hope you like cotton candy cause im stuffing an entire blob of it in your mouth like- i just enjoy the dynamics between characters and where that can lead them - and i fucking love the dynamics the pals and i have been cooking these few weeks theyre delicious and i love them all ♡ smut however..... my enemy. nfsjdk its noted already in my rules im not gonna go into it but. smuts only vaguely referenced on a sideblog that im keeping to a very small pool of people im comfortable with so; i over-criticize my writing it & constantly delete/restart it so. dont expect to see me post anything here on main anymore re: smut fgnsdkd

PLOTS OR MEMES : funny how it used to be strictly memes but, ive found myself after returning heavily preferring at least SOME plotting before i feel comfortable just winging it in responses. c; its not required, nor necessary, but it helps to be chatting at least ooc about the muses so i have a better idea of how to write something out.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : OKAY SO LOOK- i cannot begin to say how unhinged my fucking writing has been overall here cause truly? my responses on other blogs used to be so minimal??? read: NORMAL. and yet here i am now in this little corner dishing out fuckin' novels half the time like who the fuck am i- lmao its been so much fun building those longer responses up tho like?? and the fact that ya'll enjoy them so much makes me happy but also i am Sorry not only for the novels in my responses but also my novel tangents in dms like goddamn i dont know how to shut-

BEST TIME TO WRITE : for me it used to be solely in the dead of night cause thats when all the day chaos finally quieted down but. now for the most part its just. whenever i get a burst of energy and motivation to.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : uhh................. if i HAD to choose its like... maybe a gentle mix of danny / simmi / ana? mostly simmi in terms of just. resting bitch face, keeps to themself, idk fnsdk but overall not? really? they got some shared snippets that i do but as more of an overall? not in the slightest i think lol

TAGGED BY : scruffed from across the dash from kels uwu TAGGING : literally any of ya'll if you wanna do it too c:

#cant believe i had to put a readmore on this cause i can never just Write something of Normal Fucking Length- FSBK #[ 𝟎𝟎 ] ── * 𝐎𝐎𝐂. { renee. }

4 notes · View notes

euphoriabled · 2 years

Text

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍

——— BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME: kaliya (kuh-lee-yuh)

PRONOUNS: um, so i guess i use she/her the most, but also mostly out of convenience? but i don’t think i have an attachment to any pronouns really so i’m also experimenting with she/they but really you can use any because again i really don’t think i feel any sort of connection to any -- okay let me rephrase ... really, as long as you refer to me kindly, use any you’d like. :’)

ZODIAC SIGN: oh!!! i’m a libra sun, pisces moon, taurus ascendent, leo ve---!

TAKEN OR SINGLE: in a long distance relationship with my favorite person. sometimes i think about how insane it is that we even crossed paths, how many things had to align, and it blows my mind. genuinely get teary eyed thinking about them. i’m so lucky. 🥹

——— THREE FACTS! ♡

1 - i auditioned for a wes anderson film, b.reaking dawn, and misc. other things as a child, but i decided to stop acting as i got older so i could have a ‘real high school experience.’ gotta be the biggest L of my life.

2 - i met half of all my closest friends and my partner on a fucking karaoke app.

3 - i keep thinking about choosing a new pen name but then i get nervous that maybe someone already has that pen name and has a callout post of some kind and that i’d stress out people i don’t know by popping up as a blog with that pen name because what if they think i’m the other person with that pen name and then i’m making them feel unsafe and then i get really sad thinking about how scary would that be for them and then i realize i’m literally worrying about writers that i literally made up and don’t even exist ... so i just stick to kaliya.

( bonus fact - i use these emojis a lot: 🌸🦋💕🥺🥰 )

——— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED: 💀💀💀 don’t even ask me that bro, it’s so cringe ---- ( i used ask.fm, facebook, discord, smule ims, text, PASSED NOTEBOOKS BACK AND FORTH -- if there was a way to write there, i wrote there. )

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES: any way that suits my writing partners is honestly what brings me joy ! comfort and excitement brings the best threads!!

——— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER: ANY ! ( i typically write women and nonbinary individuals, but i’ve written guys! shout out to my old muse bennett. miss him & calliope every day. maybe i’ll bring ‘em back one day. )

MULTI OR SINGLE: Either! I don’t have any muse preferences.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): uh, people i know or used to see at auditions wkejfbwelj it hasn’t happened yet, but it’s a real fear. c.obra kai fandom could have gif packs of one of my childhood best friends. 💀

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: oh, fluff just makes my heart melt. i love love so very much. i truly adore shipping; i know it’s lame to say so, but damn. it fills my soul with sunshine.

ANGST: i also love angst; what’s yin without yang? heartache, my tragic valentine, i love you so. i honestly probably write angst the most if i look at all my blogs.

SMUT : okay, so i find smut so intimidating !! i’m open to writing it with writers i trust, but i get nervous because it is just not my forte. i’m open to explore all levels of my muses’ dynamics, but i don’t typically write it. (AND WILL NEVER EVER WRITE IT WITH UNDERAGED MUSES. NEVER.)

tagged by: found it when looking for memes ! tagging: @forwardmoved @illogihcal @risingmccns and anybody else who would like to !! please tag me so i can see it 👀 💕 got too nervous to tag more people tbh!

#♥ — DASH GAMES.#i sound so obnoxious in this #but this is only because i am 😌#i just have a lot of thoughts in my brain #and mental illness but fuck it we ball

4 notes · View notes

sock-to-the-third · 14 days

Text

The Meet Cute Diary

By Emery Lee (e/em)

I cried.

Happy crying but I did. I knew coming into reading Lee’s fantastic story that one of the characters used neo-pronouns so it wasn’t a surprise with Devin.

But fuck, fam, like… you never know how much you need to see rep until you see it.

*sighs*

Yeah.

… Moving on. It’s a young adult novel staring teenagers. Admittedly, I haven’t had as much luck connecting with romance focused novels. Nothing against them, they just normally aren’t my cup of tea but The Meet Cute Diary… fuck, is it good.

1. Narrator

It’s first person perspective with Noah (he/him) as our lead. Such an opinionated, bullheaded fucker I love him to bits. Kiddo just kills it stealing the show wherever he goes. From his passion of his trans-love blog to the way he brings out such personality in other characters— it reminds me what a vibe of a time being a teenager is.

2. Trans stuff

Also. Binders. I did not expect a discussion about binders. Got me all nostalgic of my old binder & sports bra so tight it bruised. What a shitty time to be alive watching the clock to make sure you don’t pass the 8 hour mark and break a rib.

It’s so cool how Lee represents trans-mascs. It’s just real matter of fact. I also like how we get to see a trans-masc that isn’t masc-4-masc and super macho. It’s just so fun seeing Noah running around being his little queer self.

Honestly surprised me that there wasn’t some drop like “oh his parents are horrible” or “passable- but kinda dicks.” Weird to see that much acceptance. I kept on thinking “wow, this sounds like wish fullfillment” - entirely forgetting some trans folks just live. Like.. with loving families and I’m like.. noice 👍

Also, the fact that Devin shares eir pronouns without a disclaimer of where it’s okay. I feel old at 26 because you didn’t just blanket “yeah neo-pronouns wherever.” Like, especially if you were baby with pronouns, often you’d only do it around friends awhile. I wonder if the next gen will be like that.

3. Plot twists

I love how Drew’s arc plays out. It has all the corniness of a romance as things slowly devolve. *chiefs kiss*

The two have such awesome banter. Plus the way it devolves is so ouch, love it. I was surprised Drew lied about how long the divorce thing was happening. Thought Lee was going to go a different angle.

Also, totally convinced that Drew was the OG troll and in charge of the article— some wicked mastermind. In hindesight, I’m really glad Drew was less a Moriarty and more just an asshole.

It made the transition between the end of Drew and the start of Devin’s relationship with Noah, realization of love and Noah figuring out a new purpose for the diary to hit home.

It’s not like rom com drama but it hits the kind of beats that makes you shriek and laugh with joy. I’m really happy how it turned out and the surprises along the way.

4. Devine’s Meet Cute

Can we talk about Devin’s surprise for Noah and just how adorable it is? The kiddo had panic attacks and socializing is an ouchy point and the fucker went out, overnight talked to 5 people, one of them a stranger, to set up this elaborate scavenger hunt.

If I didn’t have roommates 🙏 I would’ve screamed that whole motherfucking chapter, it was so dang good!

FUCK! I LOVE THIS GOD DAMN BOOK!

*flips a table*

GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

…

Anyway, 10/10 book.

#fiction #the meet cute diary #emery lee #nonbinary #genderqueer #report #young adult #neopronouns #xe/xyr #e/em

0 notes

thistleandthorn-rpg · 8 months

Text

Congrats Mack on your new character, Robin Gardner! Send the blog within 48 hours!

Robin

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias: Mack Preferred pronoun: She/her Age: 35+ Timezone/Country: CST/US RP Experience: So much Activity Level: On at least every other day

IC INFORMATION:

Name: Robin Gardner Designation: Dominant Age: 33 Birthdate: March 14, 1990 Claim: Dallas Evans-Gardner Faceclaim: Bradley James Orientation: Pansexual/AntiRomantic Occupation: Manager of Car Dealership Kinks: Breathplay, Temperature play, TPE, denial, exhibitionism, orgies, waterspouts, humiliation, pain play, sensory deprivation. Anti-Kinks: scat, romance anything, petplay, ageplay

Key Points:

Charismatic, easily likable

Can be attention seeking

Doesn’t trust easily, likes to keep things playful and nonexclusive for as long as possible

Extremely claustrophobic

BIO

TW - child abuse

Robin grew up in a home with parents who never really wanted him. He was an “oops” baby to young parents who didn’t have the capacity or desire to raise him in any kind of way. Robin was rambunctious as he grew older, always up to something and in the way. His parents would rather party, rather be out doing whatever it was they did, and they weren’t willing to spend the little money they had on a babysitter. So, many nights, they would dope him up with cough syrup and lock him in a closet in order to keep him “safe.” This led to hours of Robin crying and screaming, banging hard on the door until the cough syrup took its toll and he passed out. What’s worse - sometimes he’s parents would forget he was there, being woken from their hangovers a day or two later to the restart of his screaming and pounding.

His only salvation was his grandmother who checked in when she could, being a few hours a way, and he enjoyed all of his time with her. He would beg her to take him away every time she left, but not even she could believe his parents would do to him what he claimed. As Robin got older, locking him in a closet was no longer necessary, and in a moment of panic he removed all the closet doors in their small apartment. He never was able to put them back on or sleep with a door shut.

When Robin was 19 his grandmother passed and he no longer saw any point to staying close by and made his way to an institute. It was hard to find his claim, considering most of them insisted on romance being part of the deal. If his upbringing taught him anything, it was that no one was capable of loving him, if his own parents couldn’t. Then he met Dallas. And, Robin wasn’t in love with him, but there was something about him Robin just couldn’t shake. The more they got to know each other, the more he realized he wouldn’t be able to continue on through his life without Dallas, who agreed to claim as a submissive for him.

Robin always imagined multiple submissive, but there was no one else at their school who seemed to fit what the two of them had already built. So instead, they graduated and Robin took work selling cars at a car dealership, his charismatic charm making it easy. And when a promotion to run one of the locations came up, and when that location was near Dallas’ family, he jumped at it, making their way to Lima, Ohio.

BIO QUESTIONS:

Describe your occupational journey and how you got to where you are. - Honestly, I needed a job after Dallas and I graduated, and selling cars seemed like a good a job as any. Even better, Dallas could work at their repair centers, so it kind of worked out perfectly. How shocking it was when I discovered I was actually good at it. Slowly I worked my way up through sales and department supervisor, and was offered the manager position at the location here in Lima.

How would you describe yourself as a Dominant/submissive?

- People have referred to me as “intense” and sometimes “strict.” I don’t know, maybe that’s true. I tend to be clear in what I want and how one can achieve it. I mean what I say and while I’m not usually open to whining about it, I’m happy to discuss and make the final decision.

How do you feel about authority?

- I am the authority. No, I’m mostly kidding. I can respect that authority is needed to make the world turn, and am willing to respect the authority of others. That being said, I don’t believe in authority based on anything other than earning it.

#accepted #mack

0 notes

glendover · 1 year

Note

How did you realize you were nonbinary? Because I'm currently struggling with identity a lot and need some guidance in a way;;;

Hey,,

I feel honoured that you come to me for such advice, I’m trying to be as helpful as I can!

So firstly, I think I’ve always kind of known but it just never really occurred to me (?)

It wasn’t until I helped my best friend realize that he is trans that I figured I wouldn’t mind if people assumed I was a boy too or if they just wouldn’t assume my gender at all.

It was a lot of the not being able to relate to female characters in books too tho and thus me losing the interest in reading books with female leads until I discovered mlm / nblm books and feeling so much more at ease reading these books (and honestly before figuring myself out I felt so guilty that I’ve always tended to reach for those books)

Now that I’m out as enby I can read wlw books or books with female leads so much more freely bc I don’t have to worry about not being able to relate or find myself in the female character.

Also I liked it a hella lot when I first cut all of my hair off and people told me how handsome it made me look (lmao I should have know right from that moment on 💀only took me two more years too figure it out then)

It was just a lot of little things all coming together and finally making sense I guess.

What I would advice you to do is experience with your clothes and if you can (and want to) your hair, if you have friends you can trust ask them to use different pronouns (or maybe if you have a tumblr blog no one irl knows about change the pronouns here if you can’t do it irl) and see how you feel about it, figuring yourself out is a process that doesn’t happen over night and you can take all the time you need.

And should a label not fit anymore you can always change it again it doesn’t have to be something that’s fixed, gender can be fluid and felt differently by everyone.

I wish you all the best discovering yourself and remember no matter what you are, you are always valid and loved!!

#if you have any other questions don’t shy away my inbox is always open #noe answers the letterbox #anon #nonbinary

0 notes

lord-of-the-margins · 1 year

Text

This Blog

So what I think I’m going to do with this blog is discuss my thoughts on having DID and being a system. A system is someone with dissociative identity disorder - someone made up of multiple personalities. I’d also like to talk about trans issues because I identified as trans for a long time before I discovered I had DID. I did feel and suffer from gender dysphoria and learning that I had DID has made the pain of gender dysphoria recede to a remarkable degree.

You know the funny thing is I could legitimately use they/them pronouns. But I’m not going to.

When I first heard of multiple personality disorder/DID in a serious context, I thought it was a load of shit. I thought this woman supposedly flipping through a slew of personalities on YouTube was just starving for someone’s attention. This was an embarrassing cry for attention. A few steps short of playing pretend.

When I realized I had DID, it felt so incredibly surreal. As if my actual life were a cheap B movie. I had overturned everything, sacrificed everything, just to learn this cheap twist?

I was sitting on some steps smoking a cigarette, rolling the idea around in my head, and I wondered – if it was true and there are other people inside me – could I hurt them? And I felt a cold pang of fear from the center of my chest. Completely unrelated to my current train of thought, or rather, it was opposed to it, rather than accompanying it. That was scary and I was scared.

Trying to talk to other personalities was embarrassing. I felt like I was playing pretend. Why not have a tea party with some stuffed animals while I’m at it? I felt very silly. I…talked to the voice in my head and we decided he needed a name. Something short and Greek or Roman. Fine.

I did a bit of research, found a few good options, and slept on the matter. Later, while on a walk, I chose a name, and was awash in a wave of gratitude and ecstatic love. Overcome to the point that I felt weak at the knees. It must have looked really funny.

So what I can tell you is that if you feel someone else’s emotions, you may have DID. Maybe. Or something else entirely. Guess I’m not telling you much.

The personality who is writing to you right now – me – I’m the host. Every system has a host. This is the personality you’re likely to meet if you ever meet a system. We’re usually the sensible, reliable ones who need to handle everyday life. We pay the bills, we make the appointments, we go to work. At least I do. Other systems could be different, but usually the host is the responsible one.

The host isn’t necessarily the original self. I’m not. I was created to be a protector. And honestly, knowing I’m a part of a system and I have…people(?) within my being to protect has endowed my life with a lot more meaning than it previously had. I felt very empty for a long time and now I have them. For better or worse, I’m never really alone. And I like the idea of providing for them. It’s deeply fulfilling.

When I hear aphorisms like “the answer lies within,” I suppose that is what I’m doing. Going within. But I’m so dissociated that it feels like reaching out to people I’ve verified are me. They feel like other people and I have mistaken them for completely separate beings before. Going within feels like reaching out.

Also, some of them have autism and I don’t? I do have a fair amount of ADHD. Always have. But I’m not autistic and yet they are. So…make of that what you will. The mind is truly a remarkable thing. I try not to dwell on the existential ramifications for too long.

With all that said, I’d like to talk about trans issues.

I felt the pull of masculinity from a young age, but I really began leaning into being a transman sometime around 2014. I really tried to dress and act in a masculine way. Even so, I never felt compelled to get bottom surgery. Top surgery, hormones, sure – I was tempted. Anything to display to the world how I really felt inside. But messing around with my genitals? My legacy? No. Absolutely not. Whatever I had down there had to be respected as the vessel of my progeny. Learning that testosterone can in fact impede pregnancy (shocker) is what made me set my dreams of transitioning to rest once and for all.

I may one day get top surgery, but only after my breasts have fulfilled their true purpose of feeding my children. Even then, I’m not going to be completely flat. Probably an A or B cup. That’s as low as the system will let me go.

I do explore some strange terrain in my life, but there is an unspoken part of me that is quite conservative and holds me to conservative standards. And I abide by those standards.

Where did this instinct to be a man come from? Easy. It came from my true self sometime around the age of four. She was being horribly abused and wished her Dad was there to protect her. I am the product of that wish. Of course I was also the same little girl and it took a lifetime to fulfill that wish.

Systems often do this – become families for themselves. And so I became my Dad.

I didn’t know that for a very long time. But I’m the designated man in a woman’s body and it was excruciating. I hated it. Every time I came close to definitively deciding to transition, some little part of me would say “no,” even though I craved to be recognized as a man. So around and around we went. Back and forth for years.

It probably doesn’t sound healthy to a normal person, but systems are encouraged not to get too attached to the body. The body is a clown car shared by all of us. The body is a lovely temple we all inhabit and it rarely reflects who we all are. Most of us won’t feel adequately represented by the body. But we should take care of it and keep it in good condition as an expression of love for our family.

Crazy, huh?

So the gender dysphoria has receded as I’ve come to accept that I’m part of a whole and cannot impose my one identity on a body shared by many.

What I’d like the youth to understand about my queer ass is that I am a product of severe abuse. My gender identity, my sexuality, my fractured memory and sense of self, all of this is a product of horrifying abuse. In fact, I don’t think I’ve met anyone belonging to the LGBT community who can say they weren’t sexually abused.

I thought there were LGBT individuals who weren’t abused because I was one of them. But that’s not true. I have DID and DID likes to hide the abuse.

Because of this, I don’t want to normalize the LGBT community and I don’t think they’re valid like heterosexual couples because they appear to exclusively be a product of abuse. The Right was indeed right. It’s true.

I never plan on living my life openly as a system. Even if the stigma of mental illness wasn’t there, I see no reason for it. I get by just fine when people assume I’m like everyone else. I plan on using she/her pronouns until the day I die. It just doesn’t bother me like it used to. I don’t feel like I have the right to tear societal conventions to shreds to reflect my inner state. I think it’s a pretty selfish thing to do. Conservative conventions are healthy and a good fit for the vast majority of humanity. I want to uphold a healthy society. While I may try to explain my condition to be better understood by others, I do not want to restructure society about my mental illness.

I’m going to continue to share my thoughts about the trans movement because it honestly feels like a nightmare at this point.

#DID #dissociative identity disorder #trans

0 notes

nobody-knose--archive · 4 years

Note

tell me about your oc's that have to do with view-monster? im understandably obsessed with that album rn and id love to hear about your characters!!!! :)

hm hm well!

the machine: a fella whose name i could never settle on [he/they] but they honestly couldn’t remember their own name anyway so it doesn’t really matter & he did have like 2 engineering/robotics/mechanic’s degrees he couldn’t remember getting & he did dress both very stylishly & appropriately for working on a massive machine in the middle of a small desert & he can’t remember his gender either for that matter & they also have way too much younger brother energy for someone taller and older than most people they know. a mess socially but will go & fix literally any mechanical problem you have if they think they’d gain something from it

the ocean: this one crosses over with deep in the ocean somewhat because why wouldn’t it but i’ve got 2 in fact! one i-kiribati sailor [manamea, she/her] and one arabian mermaid girlfriend [sultana, they/she/zey] who travel the globe in their little sailing vessel but always stop by a certain mediterranean village when the opportunity presents itself (nudge nudge wink wink). they’re very passionate concerning climate change & always show up the other boaters with their epic fishing skills, and only one of those traits has something to do with mermaid skillz.

marketland: Oh You Know

spring-heeled jack: i actually spoke about these guys in vague terms with west xylophone but it was ages ago so the gist is: spring heeled jack [he/him] is a trans guy who terrorizes georgian-era london for personal reasons and ends up meeting one safiyya [she/her] & after a little while they fall in love <3 i swear most of these stories aren’t about love but yeah they’re just kinda like that. also (and here’s the bit that makes no sense if you weren’t in west xylophone) jack somehow gets himself tasked with the entire political reformation of marketland despite being entirely unqualified for this & so safiyya basically works with him as her surrogate in getting that figured out. i have so much lore

marketland for real: k yeah with that last bit i oughta add jack & safiyya are friends with a fella named phesheya [he/him] whom jack meets first in marketland, a meeting which ropes him into the whole working-in-marketland deal in the first place, and they later meet up a couple years later in london again. phesheya’s the pov dude for marketland & he’s less a stuck-up prick & more entally mill but at least he sews a mean doublet.

the satirist’s love song, being a rock star, and the afternoon had stories attached to but not based on them/i was still figuring something out & haven’t got anything concrete yet. the least i can say is that for one character it’s only satire from hir point of view, hating on pop rock is not the only reason she’s starting her own band, and time gets very iffy when you’re a ghost.

#gonna be honest i could never settle on names for about 90% of my ocs just because i don't think of names easily #and then fantasynamegenerator despite being a lovely resource never gave me what i really want #so like. take em all with a grain of salt yknow!#god looking back on all these characters makes me realize how cis i made them all #or at least. binary trans. i had like 2 he/theys & she/theys each.#2 they/thems i think. maybe a few any pronoun fellas. got damn i could do so much better now #man but thank you so much for this ask i still love all these characters so much it's wonderful talkin about em #welcome to questions answered #tis i #i wonder if i could tag this with lemon demon. honestly it'd be so buried at this point & this is a hella long ask so #lemon demon #more for blog organizational purposes than anything oh & speaking of which #mi wri #admittedly unspecific dialogue

7 notes · View notes

buckys-little-belle · 2 years

Note

Hi hi 👋🏼 I really love your Eddie x little!reader series! I was wondering if Steve meets little fairy too and if they’d be friends? I just feel like fairy would immediately be one of Steve’s little nuggets and he’d help with the hellfire babysitting too by maybe passing cartoon vhs tapes to Eddie and Dustin for fairy or calling Dustin at school to check on them and his other nuggets. Or if Nancy and Robin find out about their regression too? They’d be such cool aunts 🥰🥰

Hellfire Babysitting Club (Part Six)

Little Nugget

Eddie Munson x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns)/ The Hellfire Club x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns)/ (Honorary) Steve Harrington x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns)

Warnings - Reader does eat food, (Chicken nuggets, carrots and some ketchup.), slight reader being sad, for like half a second, I think that’s it!

Notes - I love this series … That’s it

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and with this blog SFW.

- - - - - -

“Are you sure they’ll like me?” Steve asked, standing next to Eddie outside of the High School, here to babysit Y/n while the club finish up the very important end of a very important campaign.

“The Little Terror love’s everyone Steve.” Eddie remarked, greeting Gareth with a smile as he arrived and went inside, meeting up with the rest of the group. “You’re fun, okay? I’m sure they will love you.” He said reassuringly, patting Steve on the back as the two of them turned to enter the school, the sun setting slowly.

“Yah, I know I’m ‘cool’” Steve scoffed. “But I don’t know, this is different!” He said, stopping in the hallway and crossing his arms, suddenly feeling self conscious about his babysitter abilities. “What if I mess up?” He asked genuinely, worried he may do something wrong in a critical moment.

Eddie laughed, running a hand through his hair and walking towards Steve. “I don’t think you realize just how much of a terror Little Terror is Steve.” Eddie’s smile radiated confidence as he spoke. “You will mess up, my first time looking after Y/n they pulled an entire baby tree out of the ground.” Eddie said, not breaking eye contact with Steve. “Just keep the away from anything dangerous and you’re already doing better than half of us.”

“You guys let Y/n around dangerous things?” Steve worriedly asked, genuinely concerned.

Eddie shrugged. “Gareth didn’t notice glass once, plants are all over the outside, the bathroom has soap, honestly with Y/n even the floor is dangerous.” Eddie began to walk towards the drama room once again, reaching the door and calling out a quick ‘Litter Terror’. Y/n hauling it out the door and into his arms. “Hey Fairy, causing any trouble?” He asked, giving Y/n a quick peck on top of their head.

“Jus’ spilled some water ‘s all.” Y/n said, looking around and eventually spotting Steve, offering a small wave.

Steve waved back, he assumed the Hellfire clubs honorary member would look the part, plaid flannels, leather, a jean jacket at least, maybe some pins of bands? Instead he was met with Y/n wearing a pair of loose jeans, and a hoodie, no shoes, just some fun coloured socks. Their outfit made them stick out like a sore thumb in the group, sure Dustin and Lucas wore more colourful clothing, jackets and things, but they still looked the part of a Hellfire member. Steve laughed, Y/n at least wasn’t as intimidating as he thought, which meant they were probably even crazier than he assumed.

“You’re gonna hang out with Steve while we play okay?” Eddie said, his hands on Y/n’s shoulders as he told them the plans. “You can show him all your toys hm?”

Y/n nodded, suddenly looking sad. “Yah b’not my bear.” They pouted, still reeling from their lost bear.

“Well maybe next time you see him you’ll have a new one.” Eddie reassured them, it had only been a day since they lost their bear, and with their hurt hand they needed a comfort toy more than ever.

Steve overheard the conversation, he had a few bears back at home from when he was kid, the bears too sentimental to get rid of, but just sitting in his closet for the time being. “Otay Steve.” Y/n said, snapping Steve out of his thoughts, holding onto his hand as they lead him to a room a few doors down. The drama club/class’s practice room, a small square room that was empty, now occupied by Y/n’s backpack and a few toys the boy’s had brought from their houses.

Steve waved ‘bye’ to Eddie, who ran into his own drama room, beginning the last leg of his campaign. “So what do you like doing?” He asked, Y/n letting go of his hand and sitting on the floor, pulling out a puzzle from their bag.

“‘m whatever I want.” They shrugged their shoulders, opening the box and beginning to sort the pieces as best as they could. “Well, not whatever I want. I can’t go outside alone.”

Steve hummed, confused as to what he was here for, Y/n seemed perfectly able to sit on their own for an hour or two.

“I feel lonely, can you sit pease?” They asked, looking at Steve with puppy dog eyes, his heart shattering at how adorable they looked.

“Yah of course, sorry.” He stuttered, sitting down opposite to them, his hands going to sort Y/n’s already sorted piles o actually be sorted the right way. He stopped suddenly. “Can I help?” He asked, wanting to make sure Y/n knew he wouldn’t cross any boundaries, he was a stranger to them after all.

“Mhm.” They hummed, their tongue sticking out slightly as they concentrated, a habit clearly picked up from Eddie. “I get the last piece though.” The murmured, Steve laughing as he nodded.

- - - - - -

And hour an a half went by, Y/n clearly not the ‘Little Terror’ Eddie insisted they were. Steve and Y/n spent the time colouring, finishing their puzzle, Y/n showed him their toys, and told them about a cat they saw on their way over. They seemed to be very calm, not at all what he had heard. Dustin claimed Y/n was super unpredictable, but Steve just didn’t see it. How was this the person who picked up glass? Or pulled an entire tree out of the ground?

He stood up, grabbing the snacks Eddie packed out of Y/n’s bag, some chicken nuggets and ketchup, as well as some carrots. “I’ll be right back okay?” He said, stepping out of the room and walking towards the loud drama room that held the Hellfire club currently. “How’s it going?” He asked the room, everyone turning towards Steve, expecting to see Y/n at his side.

“Where’s Y/n?” Dustin asked, trying to peek around Steve’s back to see if they were hiding in the hallway.

“Don’t worry, I distracted them with their snack, their fine.” Steve said confidently, slowly worrying about his decision as the groups faces dropped.

“You packed ketchup, right Eddie?” Gareth asked, turning towards the group’s leader. Eddie’s head hiding behind his hands as he subtly shook his head.

“I did, yep.” He sighed, the group following suit.

“What? It’s just ketchup?” Steve asked, confused as to why the group was being so dramatic over this little fact.

“To us.” Mike said, looking around the room.

“To Y/n ketchup could be lotion, or paint, or hair colour.” Lucas added in, looking at Steve with pure rage.

Eddie stood up. “I’ll be back in a second boys.” He sighed, walking towards the smaller room, hearing Y/n humming along to a random song in their head as he got closer. As he approached the room he expected to see red, literally red ketchup everywhere.

Instead he saw Y/n happily sitting down, eating the chicken nuggets and ketchup properly, the ketchup still in the small Tupperware it was packed in. “Told you Munson.” Steve laughed, patting Eddie on the back, a huge smile on his face.

“I don’t get it, what did you do?” He asked. “Did you bribe them? Threaten them to behave?” Eddie seethed, worried about what Steve did to get Y/n to behave so proper, their manners clearly on full display.

“No!” Steve exclaimed, slightly offended Eddie would think he could do that. “Y/n’s just a good kid!”

Eddie looked back at Y/n, who in turn looked at him, smiling and waving before going back to their food. “You’ve tamed the Terror.” Eddie whispered in shock.

“It might just be the chicken nuggets.” Steve suggested, pointing to Y/n who was happily eating.

“Nope, Fairy eats chicken nuggets all the time, the ketchup never stays in the bowl.” Eddie mumbled, still confused as to the sorcery that was Steve Harrington.

“Well I guess Little Nugget just likes me more.” Steve proudly said, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling like the proud babysitter he was.

- - - - - -

“Steve!” Y/n shouted, running out of the school, the last bell having just rung.

“Hi Little Nugget.” Steve said, hugging Y/n and shaking them side to side in his arms. “I have something for you.”

“Y/n!” Eddie yelled, running out of the same doors Y/n had just run out of, him out of breath and worried as Y/n seemed unfazed. “There you are, jesus, don’t run off like that again.” Eddie sighed, taking a deep breath as he stole them out of Steve’s arms hugging them to ground himself in his worry.

“‘m sorry.” Y/n said, scooching out of Eddie’s arms, holding his hand instead, turning back to Steve. “Stevie has something for me!” They exclaimed, their voice a little too loud.

Steve turned towards the pair, his hands behind his back. “Ready?” Steve asked, Y/n violently shaking their head ‘yes’, Eddie reaching out with his free hand to place it on top of Y/n’s head, holding it in place, something he found himself doing often. Steve revealed a medium sized bear, the bear a classic brown.

“EEEEEE” Y/n yelled, grabbing the bear from Steve’s hands, twirling around with it tightly in their grasp. “I’m gonna name him Ketchup!” They screeched, pure joy displayed on their face as they pet the top of the bears head.

“Ketchup?” Steve and Eddie both asked at the same time, both their voices laced with confusion.

“Yah!” Y/n said, as if the name was so obvious. “I’m Stevies Nugget, so I need Ketchup.” They explained, tucking the bear into their arms, giving Steve a one armed hug. “Thank you Stevie!”

“You’re welcome.” He laughed, not expecting the big reaction he got.

“Can I show da boys?” Y/n beamed, pointing to the group of Hellfire club members congregating near Mike’s sisters car.

“Sure, but then we have to get you home okay?” Eddie responded, Y/n nodding in agreement, running towards the boys and holding out the bear.

“I still don’t know how you get them to behave.” Eddie said in disbelief, watching as Y/n caused havoc on the boys, ruffling their hair, and now tying Gareth’s shoe laces together, just seconds ago being on their best behaviour for Steve.

Steve just shrugged, Robin walking over and getting in his car, yelling at him that they would be late for work if he didn’t hurry up, Steve hopping in the car shortly after. Maybe it was Steve’s hair, or his charming personality, or maybe Y/n behaved so well for him because he slipped them a lollipop … Something he would never admit out loud, it would stay his and his Nugget’s secret, the others could deal with the sugar rush, as long as Y/n behaved for him.

836 notes · View notes

nothorses · 3 years

Text

Interview With An Ex-Radfem

exradfem is an anonymous Tumblr user who identifies as transmasculine, and previously spent time in radical feminist communities. They have offered their insight into those communities using their own experiences and memories as a firsthand resource.

Background

I was raised in an incredibly fundamentalist religion, and so was predisposed to falling for cult rhetoric. Naturally, I was kicked out for being a lesbian. I was taken in by the queer community, particularly the trans community, and I got back on my feet- somehow. I had a large group of queer friends, and loved it. I fully went in on being the Best Trans Ally Possible, and constantly tried to be a part of activism and discourse.

Unfortunately, I was undersocialized, undereducated, and overenthusiastic. I didn't fully understand queer or gender theory. In my world, when my parents told me my sexuality was a choice and I wasn't born that way, they were absolutely being homophobic. I understood that no one should care if it's a choice or not, but it was still incredibly, vitally important to me that I was born that way.

On top of that, I already had an intense distrust of men bred by a lot of trauma. That distrust bred a lot of gender essentialism that I couldn't pull out of the gender binary. I felt like it was fundamentally true that men were the problem, and that women were inherently more trustworthy. And I really didn't know where nonbinary people fit in.

Then I got sucked down the ace exclusionist pipeline; the way the arguments were framed made sense to my really surface-level, liberal view of politics. This had me primed to exclude people –– to feel like only those that had been oppressed exactly like me were my community.

Then I realized I was attracted to my nonbinary friend. I immediately felt super guilty that I was seeing them as a woman. I started doing some googling (helped along by ace exclusionists on Tumblr) and found the lesfem community, which is basically radfem “lite”: lesbians who are "only same sex attracted". This made sense to me, and it made me feel so much less guilty for being attracted to my friend; it was packaged as "this is just our inherent, biological desire that is completely uncontrollable". It didn't challenge my status quo, it made me feel less guilty about being a lesbian, and it allowed me to have a "biological" reason for rejecting men.

I don't know how much dysphoria was playing into this, and it's something I will probably never know; all of this is just piecing together jumbled memories and trying to connect dots. I know at the time I couldn't connect to this trans narrative of "feeling like a woman". I couldn't understand what trans women were feeling. This briefly made me question whether I was nonbinary, but radfem ideas had already started seeping into my head and I'm sure I was using them to repress that dysphoria. That's all I can remember.

The lesfem community seeded gender critical ideas and larger radfem princples, including gender socialization, gender as completely meaningless, oppression as based on sex, and lesbian separatism. It made so much innate sense to me, and I didn't realize that was because I was conditioned by the far right from the moment of my birth. Of course women were just a biological class obligated to raise children: that is how I always saw myself, and I always wanted to escape it.

I tried to stay in the realms of TIRF (Trans-Inclusive Radical Feminist) and "gender critical" spaces, because I couldn't take the vitriol on so many TERF blogs. It took so long for me to get to the point where I began seeing open and unveiled transphobia, and I had already read so much and bought into so much of it that I thought that I could just ignore those parts.

In that sense, it was absolutely a pipeline for me. I thought I could find a "middle ground", where I could "center women" without being transphobic.

Slowly, I realized that the transphobia was just more and more disgustingly pervasive. Some of the trans men and butch women I looked up to left the groups, and it was mostly just a bunch of nasty people left. So I left.

After two years offline, I started to recognize I was never going to be a healthy person without dealing with my dysphoria, and I made my way back onto Tumblr over the pandemic. I have realized I'm trans, and so much of this makes so much more sense now. I now see how I was basically using gender essentialism to repress my identity and keep myself in the closet, how it was genuinely weaponized by TERFs to keep me there, and how the ace exclusionist movement primed me into accepting lesbian separatism- and, finally, radical feminism.

The Interview

You mentioned the lesfem community, gender criticals, and TIRFs, which I haven't heard about before- would you mind elaborating on what those are, and what kinds of beliefs they hold?

I think the lesfem community is recruitment for lesbians into the TERF community. Everything is very sanitized and "reasonable", and there's an effort not to say anything bad about trans women. The main focus was that lesbian = homosexual female, and you can't be attracted to gender, because you can't know someone's gender before knowing them; only their sex.

It seemed logical at the time, thinking about sex as something impermeable and gender as internal identity. The most talk about trans women I saw initially was just in reference to the cotton ceiling, how sexual orientation is a permanent and unchangeable reality. Otherwise, the focus was homophobia. This appealed to me, as I was really clinging to the "born this way" narrative.

This ended up being a gateway to two split camps - TIRFs and gender crits.

I definitely liked to read TIRF stuff, mostly because I didn't like the idea of radical feminism having to be transphobic. But TIRFs think that misogyny is all down to hatred of femininity, and they use that as a basis to be able to say trans women are "just as" oppressed.

Gender criticals really fought out against this, and pushed the idea that gender is fake, and misogyny is just sex-based oppression based on reproductive issues. They believe that the source of misogyny is the "male need to control the source of reproduction"- which is what finally made me think I had found the "source" of my confusion. That's why I ended up in gender critical circles instead of TIRF circles.

I'm glad, honestly, because the mask-off transphobia is what made me finally see the light. I wouldn't have seen that in TIRF communities.

I believed this in-between idea, that misogyny was "sex-based oppression" and that transphobia was also real and horrible, but only based on transition, and therefore a completely different thing. I felt that this was the "nuanced" position to take.

The lesfem community also used the fact that a lot of lesbians have partners who transition, still stay with their lesbian partners, and see themselves as lesbian- and that a lot of trans men still see themselves as lesbians. That idea is very taboo and talked down in liberal queer spaces, and I had some vague feelings about it that made me angry, too. I really appreciated the frank talk of what I felt were my own taboo experiences.

I think gender critical ideology also really exploited my own dysphoria. There was a lot of talk about how "almost all butches have dysphoria and just don't talk about it", and that made me feel so much less alone and was, genuinely, a big relief to me that I "didn't have to be trans".

Lesfeminism is essentially lesbian separatism dressed up as sex education. Lesfems believe that genitals exist in two separate categories, and that not being attracted to penises is what defines lesbians. This is used to tell cis lesbians, "dont feel bad as a lesbian if you're attracted to trans men", and that they shouldn’t feel "guilty" for not being attracted to trans women. They believe that lesbianism is not defined as being attracted to women, it is defined as not being attracted to men; which is a root idea in lesbian separatism as well.

Lesfems also believe that attraction to anything other than explicit genitals is a fetish: if you're attracted to flat chests, facial hair, low voices, etc., but don't care if that person has a penis or not, you're bisexual with a fetish for masculine attributes. Essentially, they believe the “-sexual” suffix refers to the “sex” that you are assigned at birth, rather than your attraction: “homosexual” refers to two people of the same sex, etc. This was part of their pushback to the ace community, too.

I think they exploited the issues of trans men and actively ignored trans women intentionally, as a way of avoiding the “TERF” label. Pronouns were respected, and they espoused a constant stream of "trans women are women, trans men are men (but biology still exists and dictates sexual orientation)" to maintain face.

They would only be openly transmisogynistic in more private, radfem-only spaces.

For a while, I didn’t think that TERFs were real. I had read and agreed with the ideology of these "reasonable" people who others labeled as TERFs, so I felt like maybe it really was a strawman that didn't exist. I think that really helped suck me in.

It sounds from what you said like radical feminism works as a kind of funnel system, with "lesfem" being one gateway leading in, and "TIRF" and "gender crit" being branches that lesfem specifically funnels into- with TERFs at the end of the funnel. Does that sound accurate?

I think that's a great description actually!

When I was growing up, I had to go to meetings to learn how to "best spread the word of god". It was brainwashing 101: start off by building a relationship, find a common ground. Do not tell them what you really believe. Use confusing language and cute innuendos to "draw them in". Prey on their emotions by having long exhausting sermons, using music and peer pressure to manipulate them into making a commitment to the church, then BAM- hit them with the weird shit.

Obviously I am paraphrasing, but this was framed as a necessary evil to not "freak out" the outsiders.

I started to see that same talk in gender critical circles: I remember seeing something to the effect of, "lesfem and gender crit spaces exist to cleanse you of the gender ideology so you can later understand the 'real' danger of it", which really freaked me out; I realized I was in a cult again.

I definitely think it's intentional. I think they got these ideas from evangelical Christianity, and they actively use it to spread it online and target young lesbians and transmascs. And I think gender critical butch spaces are there to draw in young transmascs who hate everything about femininity and womanhood, and lesfem spaces are there to spread the idea that trans women exist as a threat to lesbianism.

Do you know if they view TIRFs a similar way- as essentially prepping people for TERF indoctrination?

Yes and no.

I've seen lots of in-fighting about TIRFs; most TERFs see them as a detriment, worse than the "TRAs" themselves. I've also definitely seen it posed as "baby's first radfeminism". A lot of TIRFs are trans women, at least from what I've seen on Tumblr, and therefore are not accepted or liked by radfems. To be completely honest, I don't think they're liked by anyone. They just hate men.

TIRFs are almost another breed altogether; I don't know if they have ties to lesfems at all, but I do think they might've spearheaded the online ace exclusionist discourse. I think a lot of them also swallowed radfem ideology without knowing what it was, and parrot it without thinking too hard about how it contradicts with other ideas they have.

The difference is TIRFs exist. They're real people with a bizarre, contradictory ideology. The lesfem community, on the other hand, is a completely manufactured "community" of crypto-terfs designed specifically to indoctrinate people into TERF ideology.

Part of my interest in TIRFs here is that they seem to have a heavy hand in the way transmascs are treated by the trans community, and if you're right that they were a big part of ace exclusionism too they've had a huge impact on queer discourse as a whole for some time. It seems likely that Baeddels came out of that movement too.

Yes, there’s a lot of overlap. The more digging I did, the more I found that it's a smaller circle running the show than it seems. TIRFs really do a lot of legwork in peddling the ideology to outer queer community, who tend to see it as generic feminism.

TERFs joke a lot about how non-radfems will repost or reblog from TERFs, adding "op is a TERF”. They're very gleeful when people accept their ideology with the mask on. They think it means these people are close to fully learning the "truth", and they see it as further evidence they have the truth the world is hiding. I think it's important to speak out against radical feminism in general, because they’re right; their ideology does seep out into the queer community.

Do you think there's any "good" radical feminism?

No. It sees women as the ultimate victim, rather than seeing gender as a tool to oppress different people differently. Radical feminism will always see men as the problem, and it is always going to do harm to men of color, gay men, trans men, disabled men, etc.

Women aren't a coherent class, and radfems are very panicked about that fact; they think it's going to be the end of us all. But what's wrong with that? That's like freaking out that white isn't a coherent group. It reveals more about you.

It's kind of the root of all exclusionism, the more I think about it, isn't it? Just freaking out that some group isn't going to be exclusive anymore.

Radical feminists believe that women are inherently better than men.

For TIRFs, it's gender essentialism. For TERFs, its bio essentialism. Both systems are fundamentally broken, and will always hurt the groups most at risk. Centering women and misogyny above all else erases the root causes of bigotry and oppression, and it erases the intersections of race and class. The idea that women are always fundamentally less threatening is very white and privileged.

It also ignores how cis women benefit from gender norms just as cis men do, and how cis men suffer from gender roles as well. It’s a system of control where gender non-conformity is a punishable offense.

#transgender #transphobia #trans #transmisogyny #radical feminism #radfem #feminism #transandrophobia #terfs #tirfs #gender critical #nothorses #cult mention #long post

3K notes · View notes

todoscript · 3 years

Photo

SYNOPSIS: Years of memories pouring out, Katsuki and Shouto confront their feelings for you in your very hospital room.

pairing(s): bakugou katsuki x fem!reader, todoroki shouto x fem!reader

genre: angst.

word count: 4.5k+

warnings: really self-indulgent fic, characters are aged-up, implied sexual content, mentions of drinking alcohol, jealousy, reader identifies as female with she/her pronouns,

author’s note: so i found this pretty old wip i wrote before i made my blog, and after reading it over, i decided hey why not publish it? so i finished it up, did some cleaning, and heres what we got. sorry if it seems kind of shaky, i did my best with what i initially had!

“Bakugou… what are you doing here?”

Shouto enters the room with freshly bought peonies in his hands—one of the many dozen he had brought to this hospital already—his steps coming to a halt at the sight of the Explosion Hero near your hospital bed. Katsuki looks up and narrows his eyes, aggravated by the offender’s question.

“What? You got a fucking problem with me being here?” He keeps his voice low, not wanting to disturb the entire hospital wing, knowingly admitting to how loud he could be. But that doesn’t suppress the bite in his tone.

“Just because you’re her fucking boyfriend doesn’t mean you’re the only one that’s allowed to worry about her,” he nearly spits, and Shouto’s face mirrors Katsuki’s own irked expression.

You have been unconscious for a week now. The cause of this incident was due to your encounter with a dangerous villain who had been wanted by the police for quite some time. Months of evading capture down the drain, the villain had unfortunately ran into you as you patrolled the streets during your nightly shift.

In the end, you won the fight, but at the cost of damage done to your body and overuse of your quirk. As a result, you entered an unconscious state, recovering in this hospital bed to be monitored by medical staff throughout each day. The doctors assured them that you would eventually wake up but will need time to heal on your own through rest.

Ever since the day you’ve been admitted here, Shouto has been visiting your bedside. However, this is the first time Katsuki’s shown up.

Shouto only points a glare to the blond, ignoring him while he sets his bouquet down next to your bed. He notices the already present vase of hydrangeas, surmising that Katsuki must have brought them. He places his bundle of peonies beside them.

The dual-haired man sits on the opposite side of the bed from Katsuki, whose attention is brought back to the girl’s sleeping face, patched with wraps and bandages as a result of your tribulations with the villains.

If I had finished my jobs quicker, I would’ve been able to see you the moment you had to stay in this damn hospital. The thoughts ring in Katsuki’s head, hands clenched into fists out of frustration.

Knowing you had to deal with that whack job of a villain on your own—that your overprotective and valiant nature wouldn’t allow you to let this criminal walk away when you encountered him, and that they weren’t there to prevent you from getting like this—killed both him and Shouto on the inside. They especially hated not knowing when you would wake up or if what the doctors said about you eventually regaining consciousness would even be true.

Shouto takes your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. Katsuki catches him pressing delicate kisses against your lightly bruised knuckles from the corner of his eye, the young man not caring that he was performing these intimate acts in the presence of another man. Shouto especially did this in order to make a solid point:

She’s mine.

Katsuki knew very well how possessive Shouto could be while he was in their presence. And honestly, he couldn’t blame him. If he got to call you his and keep you all to himself, he’d make sure everyone knew they couldn’t have you—that your smile and attention were all his and his alone. But in this case, they weren’t, and all he could settle for were envious emotions and fantasies of what could’ve been.

•

Bakugou Katsuki’s feelings for you date back to as early as your high school years at U.A.

At first, he wasn’t entirely sure what made these feelings arise. Having his goal of becoming the Number One hero plastered at the forefront of his head made romance and love trivial concepts down his path. Katsuki had no time to be chasing after girls, going on dates, and devoting a chunk of his time to a partner.

However, at one point, things started to change. He felt ripples affect the still waters that were his life, and he noticed that only you could calm this torrent. You were the one person he sought comfort in, the one person that understood who he was and why he acted the way he did. And the one person who mended him physically and mentally without belittling his character or crushing his pride.

Through all of that, Katsuki had begun to appreciate and admire all the little things about you. Like your beaming smile and the twinkle in the lovely hues of your eyes that you’d give him as you two interacted. It was such a welcomed contrast to the fearful looks the other students would have etched on their faces whenever he so much as called out their name.

He always took note of how you adjusted his food to his preferences during times you were assigned to cook that night at the dorms. And how you’d go and try to tend to him after training, when his muscles ached and his bruises were settling into his skin.

At first, Katsuki thought of it as a sign of weakness—to accept help from someone else when at his most vulnerable state. Yet you were persistent.

He recalls a particular memory after a battle during his internship where he was reduced to resting in bed to recover. Not many of his classmates came up to check on him during that time. Mainly because they figured he wouldn’t bother to open his door for them anyway. Though one night, he heard a knock sounding from his door. He glanced up from his bed, already thinking about ignoring the visitor in favor of staying in bed to rest, but a voice spoke beyond the threshold.

“Katsuki? I hope you’re not asleep yet. It’s not much, but I made you a little something to help you get better.” He didn’t reply upon recognizing your voice, hesitating to see what you’d do if he didn’t respond.

There was a pause of silence until you eventually continued. “Well, I’ll leave this in front of your door for you to have… If not, I’ll come back and retrieve it, okay?” That was the last you said before Katsuki picked up a light clank near the bottom of the entrance. Afterward, feet padded lightly down the hallway till they returned to the elevator to descend to the bottom floors, and the blond was by himself once again.

He weighed the option of leaving whatever you left for him untouched, but knowing you made an effort to arrive at his door to check on him caused him to waver. Before he knew it, his feet treaded to the spot to discover a hot plate of curry at his doorstep, followed by a note and painkillers. The plate perched on one of his hands, he opened the letter with the other.

Get better soon! We’ll be waiting for you!

Closing the note, he tossed it on his desk before plopping down on the edge of his bed with the plate of curry in his lap. It steamed and dispersed heat on his sore thighs, piping hot and ready to eat.

He gripped his spoon between his fingers, an irregular grin surfacing his lips. He scooped up the spicy bits of curry, gobbling the dish down to its very last grain of rice until the plate was clean. And in that time, every bite he brought to his mouth made him think of you.

“Dumbass, there’s no way I’m falling behind.” Feeling thoroughly full, he transferred the finished plate to his desk, where he had left the note. Before he had even realized it, he reached out for the paper, glancing over the words one last time. He fished a pen from his drawer and scribed a reply of his own for when you would return for the dirty plate.

Thanks, dumbass. It was good.

•

The Icy-Hot Hero, Todoroki Shouto, loved you too much to let you go.

You were the girl that shaped him to become the person he is today—who taught him to embrace himself for who he was and not let his past define him and what he stood for. You were the person that brought him out from the dark hole he trapped himself in and cast him into warm light. You’ve stuck together through thick and thin throughout your journey to becoming Pro Heroes, protecting one another and watching each other’s backs. It wasn’t long before he noticed his feelings for you had developed into more complicated emotions. Emotions that made butterflies flutter in his stomach and his face unusually hot whenever he even glanced in your direction. As he began to actively seek you out for comfort and support, he thought of you differently in comparison to all of his other classmates.

Initially, these foreign feelings troubled him. Yet, he could never quite piece together why you could garner such flustered reactions.

Then after consoling these newfound sensations with his close friends and family, he realized that you meant so much more to him than just a classmate, an ally, a colleague. Todoroki Shouto was—is—in love with you.

And the feeling was mutual.

Whether it was the intense looks you two sent as your gazes naturally drifted to each other or how your hands would always brush across soft and calloused knuckles in a silent plea to lace your fingers together, it wasn’t long before he discovered that his feelings for you were reciprocated.

Interestingly, you and Shouto never had to confess anything to each other. Your feelings came almost naturally for you both like you were telepathically linked and on the same wavelength. You came to one another like magnets attracted to their opposite poles, and in just a blink, your lips had met one day, and you took each other’s first kiss.

From then on was the start of many more “firsts.”

Shouto remembers the first time he let you hang out in his dorm room, talking about simple things like school, studying, and internships.

He remembers your first date to a cafe his older sister recommended—the one with flavorful milk teas he knew you’d take a liking to, with bountiful flowers decorating the interior of the tea house.

He remembers inviting you into his home to meet his older siblings, have dinner with them, and letting his family get to know you as his significant other.

He remembers taking you to see his mother at the psychiatric ward his wretched father had admitted her to, finally letting the two most significant women in his life meet and watching as his mother took a relieved liking to the girl he loves.

He remembers the tension that hovered in the air over an argument you two had one day, which was eventually mended through communication and reaffirmations of love.

He remembers embracing you in his bed, devoid of nothing but yourselves in your purest forms, eliciting sweet sounds from your lips that intoxicated him with lust and drove him to desire more and more until he monopolized every crevice of your body—every ounce of your soul—and intended to burn your beautiful, sinful image into his memory.

He remembers so much of the little things and the significant things about your love that he could never, ever hand you over to anyone else. Less of all to Bakugou Katsuki.

•

Katsuki was one of the first people to notice that they were in a relationship.

At first, it wasn’t obvious. The two made a point to keep their romantic bond a secret among their classmates and teachers not to complicate things and be the subject of teasing. They also considered the fact they needed to focus on their studies and hero training. Kisses and other affectionate touches were done behind closed doors or whenever they knew no eyes could discover them. These sneaky tactics proved to be effective and not many questioned them about relationships, aside from the occasional girls/boys talk they’d do. They’d ask each other things like “who would you date” and “don’t you think ‘so-and-so’ is cute” and many other curious asks. Their answers to these inquiries were inconspicuous enough that most of their friends didn’t suspect much of anything. Except for Katsuki.

Katsuki was never one to pick apart details, not as much as his childhood rival, Deku, anyway. But the more he looked at them, the more he was aware of the particular hints and their subtleties of tenderness. Such as the way the red-and-white-haired boy would perk up at the sound of your name or the chime of your voice from across the dormitory’s common area. Or the way you two would hover around each other more often than you would your classmates as if maximizing the most of your time together in public. Or how you’d go on small study dates together and hold each other’s hand underneath the table in the library, thinking no one would notice.

Perhaps, the most significant indication, however, was the expressions on each of their faces.

Maybe Katsuki had started becoming very hyper-aware, unraveling your mannerisms and making out even the smallest of singularities, but he felt your faces alone were an obvious giveaway.

The looks you gave each other were ones harboring nothing but pure love and adoration. He could discern the glow you exuded simply basking one another’s presence. Those looks weren’t ones you would give to a close friend; they were something more. He would know. That look Shouto gives is the same one Katsuki has for you, after all.

Except, his is never reciprocated.

That pretty smile, the flustered expression across your cheeks, the sparkling hues of your eyes—all those little details were reserved for Shouto, not Katsuki.

It hurt to know that the gaze you give Katsuki wouldn’t ever be the same one you give to Shouto. Katsuki knows this, and yet he still can’t seem to get past you.

The moment he was aware of his feelings—reluctantly fathoming the fact that you were with Shouto—Katsuki did everything in his power to stop these feelings.

No, not just stop. He had to get rid of them. Cut any connection with them. Dealing with an aching heart was too much work and pain for a boy with heavy aspirations to bear. So he ignored you—erased you. He didn’t so much as spare you even a glance as if you were just another extra. Whenever you appeared, he made a move to leave, spouting excuses such as “I’m going to sleep,” or “I don’t have time to be around you losers,” the usual Bakugou Katsuki response to any form of unnecessary socializing. He had to act like you didn’t exist, put his mind on something else—anything else.

But darn that girl and her need to check on and care for other people.

Noticing something was wrong with the boy, you sought Katsuki out, cornering him. You asked him what was wrong, to which Katsuki gritted his teeth, unable to look at you in the eyes, knowing that those feelings would bubble up inside him again as they conjured troublesome butterflies in the pits of his stomach. Yet it was no use.

He couldn’t deny that he missed those times together—when you would patch up his wounds and bruises after training or when you’d let him try out your spicy ailments before half-and-half because you always knew he had a preference for spicy foods. He still had it bad for you.

And he continued to harbor those feelings even after you all graduated after your third year at U.A.

The heroes-in-training were ready to take on the real world as Pro Heroes and sidekicks. By then, you and Shouto had admitted to the class about your relationship. Some were surprised, while others, specifically the girls, expressed their rounds of “I knew it!” likely noticing the chemistry between the two long before. Katsuki had decided to play dumb and acted like this announcement meant completely nothing to him. Just useless news. That was what he told himself, anyway.

After that, Katsuki didn’t see much of the couple around. All of them were busy with work and trying to get their names out in the public to compete on the Billboard Hero Chart.

Which was good news for him. With his goal of becoming the Number One Hero still lodged into his head, the blond threw himself into his heroic duties. Often, he didn’t stop, persisting on job after job until the agency he was under forced him to take breaks whenever they deemed necessary for his health. In those times, Katsuki found himself slowly forgetting about you. But occasionally, he’d see glimpses of you again.

As expected of one of the graduates under Class A of U.A., you were definitely making a name for yourself and propelling in popularity. Whether he wanted to or not, Katsuki would see articles and advertisements glowing with your resplendent features plastered on headlines, covered by your hero name.

God, did you look as beautiful as always. Katsuki would think before jolting his mind back to reality, remembering that you weren’t his to ogle.

The last part was hard to bear, especially when his former class announced a reunion party at a restaurant Momo had reserved for them when everyone had hit the legal drinking age. Katsuki was definitely not keen on going. However, his friend Kirishima had convinced him to come along through relentless persistence.

Ultimately, he attended the reunion. He and Eijirou arrived together and appeared relatively earlier. Well, earlier than at least half the class anyway. Eventually, more of their former classmates trickled into the food establishment and greeted one another with boisterous cheers all around. Which, unfortunately for him, included the people Katsuki dreaded to see the most—you and Shouto.

Your hand was already laced with half-and-half’s when you two entered, resulting in some of their classmates teasing you about your public display of affection. Both didn’t mind though. Over the years, you’ve grown quite comfortable with hand-holding and even hugging in the open.

You know who did mind? A certain explosion hero, of course.

Save that shit for when I don’t have to fucking see it. He almost hissed out loud but bit his tongue at the last second.

To his luck, you had ended up sitting next to him, with Shouto at your left. Though you were sandwiched between two guys from your former class who were infatuated with you, Katsuki felt like he was more suffocated than you were.

The reunion that night went by relatively smoothly. You would chime in some small talk with Katsuki during certain intervals of time while everyone was holding their own conversations in the background. He did his best to keep his cool and not let himself act like a high schooler in love. To some degree, he thought his facade had worked as he played off his usual “Bakugou responses,” albeit with a lot less yelling and venom in comparison to how he spoke to everyone back in high school. Dare he say, he might have even softened up a bit. What he didn’t notice was Shouto glancing at him from the corner of his eye while in the middle of a conversation with Midoriya.

The night continued with rounds of alcohol poured across the table of twenty-one heroes. They made their cheers before helping themselves to their spirits. Conveniently, Shouto and Katsuki were very adept at holding their drinks. You? You weren’t as great. By the end of the night, you passed out from how drunk you were and had ended up laying your head on the table, head floaty and light.

By then, everyone else had left aside from maybe five or so people. Momo graciously helped the couple secure a cab home safely for the night, and Shouto had gotten up to help confirm some information. Katsuki was left to his own devices with you next to him.

His eyes couldn’t help but wander toward your form. You were so vulnerable in front of him, with your soft lips, splayed hair, and long eyelashes turned in his direction for him to see. Though a bit of that smell of alcohol lingered, he could still make out the flowery aroma you always gave off. You smelled of lavenders, daisies, roses—every fucking flower under the sun—with a hint of honey. Your scent intoxicated him. He started to wonder if this is how you smelled like at home, or if your scent became even more potent whenever you appeared fresh out of the shower and—

Katsuki hadn’t realized his hand had subconsciously gone up to brush a stray hair from your face until he managed to pull himself away from his thoughts. Thankfully, he retracted his hand back before committing himself to the act. But the gesture did not go unnoticed by the heterochromatic-eyed man who had appeared again to gather you in his arms.

Shouto had taken his coat and wrapped it around you before hooking his arms beneath you to cradle your body.

“Mm, Shouto…” you hummed against him, arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as you nuzzled further into him while on the verge of sleep. Katsuki’s heart throbbed hearing those half-dazed murmurs that left your lips, which hovered so close to that bastard’s neck. He wanted the privilege of holding you close and taking care of you at your most vulnerable.

“Come on, love, we’re going home,” he said fondly at your resting state. Katsuki didn’t catch the cold glare Shouto sent his way as he looked elsewhere to avoid the couple’s intimacy right in front of him. All he could hear after that was the engine of their cab rumbling in the distance, trailing back to their humble abode.

•

“...I know.” Shouto finally breaks the silence within the hospital room, eyes still trained on his beloved as he rubs his thumb across your knuckles to the base of your hand.

Katsuki looks up at his words incredulously. “The fuck is that suppose to mean.” He narrows his brows into a pressed glare.

“I know that you’re in love with her.”

Katsuki deadpanned, his eyes wavering at the man’s declaration. Should he deny it? Make it seem as if the icy-hot head was delusional? No. He knows that the signs must have been obvious coming from the one man in his way of vying for your attention, the man that would go to so many lengths for you that he’d travel to the moon and back in a heartbeat if it were in your name. Katsuki can’t pry himself out of this one.

He takes a glance at you. Was this really the place to be confronting him about this? In the presence of your unconscious state resting in this hospital bed between them?

“And what about it?” Katsuki counters his claims.

“I don’t plan on letting her go no matter what.” As if to make a point on his words, Shouto’s hold on your limp hand is firm, unmoving. He slowly shifts his gaze to the ash blond, crossing his look of anger. “So stop playing this game.”

When the words travel across the hollow hospital room and to Katsuki’s ears, his fists tighten in response. “Game? Game?!” He raises his voice, body shaking. “You think my feelings are some sort of joke to you?! That I’m only looking at her like this for fun?!” His eyes find Shouto’s blue and gray, red with ire. The young man in front of him is unfazed in the wake of his indignation.

“Let me tell you something fucking straight…” Katsuki starts, stepping forward, finger pointing fiercely in Shouto’s direction. “I won’t deny anything I feel for her at this point. I’m in love with her, alright?” he admits without hesitance and notices the subtle quirk of Icy-Hot’s brow. “And I’ll tell you that if she were mine, she wouldn’t have gotten in this position in the first place.”

Those words are what finally make Shouto’s unnatural composure crumble. He releases your hand to stand from his place and face the blond at eye level. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Crossing his arms, Katsuki scoffs at the question.

“You’d think I’d even let that villain get near her if this was gonna happen?” He gestures in the direction of your patched-up form, asleep and littered with bruises. “If she were looking at me, I would’ve already been on the scene to back her up. And just what were you doing, huh? Helping old ladies cross the street?” Katsuki is unfiltered as he hurls his insults, but three years of dealing with him as a classmate has made Shouto immune to his temperament.

“Let me get this through your head then. She was never looking at you. She was looking at me.”

Ouch. The blond would be lying if those words didn’t stir a pot of hurt inside him.

“And as both her partner and a fellow Pro Hero, I more than trusted her enough to finish the job on her own. Even if this isn’t a game to you, you’re already losing a battle you can’t hope to win.”

“Not sure why you’re the one calling the shots for her,” Katsuki quips. How ironic the girl they’re both fighting over lays comatose in this very bed between them.

The atmosphere is layered in dreadful silence afterward. The monitor next to you beeps in eery succession. It is the only thing heard in the hospital room that is wrapped in tension so taut it is bound to snap at any moment.

The knot of strife is undone by the door sliding open to reveal a nurse entering the uneasy state of the room.

“Mister Bakugou and Mister Todoroki, I’m sorry, but visiting hours at the hospital are closed for the evening,” she informs them as the two had yet to realize the sky veiled darkening orange with the setting of the sun. Eyeing the clipboard hugged to her chest, they knew it was about time for the hospital to assess your condition again.

The two make their leave, taking the time to thank the nurse before doing so, but the suffocating tension follows them even outside the hospital. They don’t speak a word afterwards, only sharing bristled looks and heavy steps until they’re forced to head off in their respective paths, not sparing any more kindness.

To Shouto, Katsuki would never understand the lengths he’d go for you because Katsuki could also never experience what the two of you went through together in the same way. All those years together, forging unforgettable memories of love and tenderness, could never be replicated.

But the blond isn’t bothered by those facts. It doesn’t unnerve him that he was unable to encounter all those firsts with you because in his mind, he’ll just create new memories—ones that you’ve never experienced and ones that will make him the last and only person you’ll ever want by your side. He’ll blow fucking Icy-Hot out of the atmosphere.

ending note: heyyy congrats if you’ve made it to the end. i think at the time i was writing this, i had an idea on how to progress the fic, but i decided to leave it on this. not particularly sure if i’m going to continue this, i may just leave it up to your interpretation. does katsuki steal the readers heart? does shouto protect his love from being severed in front of him? will the reader even wake up? find out on the next episode of dragon ball z

#bnha x reader #todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo fic #bakugou fic #todoroki fic #bnha imagine #bnha fic #bakugou imagine #todoroki imagine #todoroki shouto x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader

727 notes · View notes

celamoon · 3 years

Note

are requests open? because imagine saiki with a dumb childhood friend (to lovers? 👀) who's just a little too naive. she's caught him using his powers before and just went oh, and he's pretty sure her brain didn't even process what he was doing. and she attracts so many boys but she's just clueless so now saiki has to shoo them away from her <3

Anon your brain is astronomically huge I’m in love with this concept.

To clear things up though I do take requests (suggestions) but I won’t always write them since some make me go bRR and others don't really speak to me so it depends on what it is. (also because I'm not technically a writing blog pfft)

You wrote the reader as a she so I’m going to use female pronouns for this one. I hope I did your request justice!

Warnings: none, just fluff

Saiki was absolutely terrified when you first walked in on him using his powers in second grade. I mean it wasn’t like Akechi didn’t figure it out, but you straight up walked in on Saiki while he blew the classroom to pieces. He was about to erase your memory of the incident before you had tilted your head cutely with a pout.

“Did someone break in?” You rushed off to grab the first aid kit to try and help the others.

Kusuo read your thoughts to see if you suspected that he was a psychic and the only thing he got from your thoughts were 'oh, I guess Akechi was right in some way'

Saiki had watched you put a bandaid on the wounds and secretly helped you heal the others. No one believed you when you said the classroom was blown up the next day, I mean it was like someone reversed time on it! Nothing was scattered or anything else of the sort!

Saiki also transferred away that time. You were kinda sad, you wanted to befriend the kid who was standing in the middle of the room after the supposedly ‘break in’. You were pleased when you moved shortly after with your parent’s job. So you ended up at Saiki’s school again.

That was a while ago though, both of you have grown by now. You had followed Saiki around each time he moved, you were convinced that was the universe telling you to become best friends with him. (It wasn’t, you’d later on find out that Saiki had used mind control so you could follow each school he went to).

“Kuu!” Saiki looks away from the passing car and nods at you.

Both of you were in your second year of high school now. Saiki hadn’t changed much other than the glasses and growth spurt. You on the other hand? You had grown impressively. You were prettier, taller, and for some odd reason the universe blessed you with an ideal body. This meant trouble.

“Did you wait long?” You close the gate to your place as Saiki shook his head.

‘Same as always,’

“Ah, alright then,” You hum. “Anything new happen?”

‘I literally saw you less than ten hours ago Y/n.’

“So? Lots of things can happen in ten hours! For all we know you could’ve travelled to Kyoto and back!” You grinned. Saiki glared your way before continuing to walk.

“You’re so boring now Kuu-chan,” You grumble. Saiki chooses to ignore your words as he watches Nendou and the others join the two of you. Soon enough, you guys are at school.

“Ah, another letter,” You slip out your shoes to change into and set the letter into your bookbag. You head over to your desk and pull it out from the bag.

“Who is it from this time?” Kaidou looks at the letter on the desk and you hum.

“I think… ah it says someone wants to meet up with me on the rooftop,” you read.

‘Good grief, I thought you made it clear that you weren’t interested last time’ Saiki peers over your shoulder, caging you in, and you jump slightly.

“I mean it wouldn’t hurt actually going…”

“Y/n’s getting a boyfriend?” Yumehara joins your group at the shoe lockers and you shake your head.

“Someone wrote me a letter saying they want to meet up,” You show her the letter and the girl inwardly sighs. ‘How come Y/n-chan was able to pull people so easily and I couldn’t even find a good boy to date!’

‘That’s because you’re too obsessive’ Saiki reminds inwardly.

“You’re going?”

“Don’t worry! I, the jet black wings, can accompany you to meet up with whoever this is!” Kaidou offers.

“I’ll come with Nendou if you don’t want anything creepy to happen,” Kuboyasu smiles.

“A-ah it’s alright! I’ll just bring Kuu with me,” You smile.

“You sure?”

“Mhm!” You grin. “I’ll be fine with Kuu,”

Speaking honestly, you’re quite nervous. You had gotten letters before, but none of them actually asked you to meet up. Most of them could be read, and then Saiki would offer you to toss them out in some way. Your favourite was when he used his pyrokinesis to burn it in his hand, he was always helping you reject people.

“Offu,”

“Good morning Teruhashi offu!”

“Good morning everyone!” Teruhashi smiles, flowers bloomed in the room because of that.

“Good morning Teruhashi-san!” You grinned as she walked over.

“Good morning Y/n-chan! Oh is that a letter?” Teruhashi notices the envelope in your hands. ‘Why did she get a letter? Is she being confessed to? Ugh! No calm down Teruhashi, you’re a pretty perfect girl. You don’t need to be jealous, it’s just one letter’

“Yeah… It tells me to meet up with them at the roof,” You mumble. “Teruhashi-san how do you turn people down?”

“A-ah?”

“You’re always being confessed to right? How do you do it?” Your eyes glimmer and Saiki grimaces. Out of all the people you admire, you decide to admire Teruhashi. It wasn’t like she was rude, but it was more like she was fake.

“A-ah well…” Teruhashi panics inwardly as she looks for an answer. ‘I mean none of these high school boys can match up to me. Sure Saiki-san makes me feel different but seriously he doesn’t even have an income of 40 million yen… what do I tell her?!’

“It’s ok if you’re not too sure either Teruhashi-san,” You smile. “Sometimes we reject people so naturally that we don’t even realize it,”

“A-ah yea… sorry it’s just I don’t get confessed to that much…”

“Ah right!” You grin. “You’re better than everyone here so it would make sense that no one dares to approach you!”

“H-hUH? That’s not true!” Teruhashi flushes red at your compliment and you smile.

The rest of the school day passes as usual, and soon the final bell rings. You pack your bags and wander to the roof to meet up with the supposed secret admirer. Saiki walks beside you, ready to kill someone if you asked.

“Uh you can stay here, I’ll call you if he tries anything,” You open the door to the roof and Saiki is forced to use clairvoyance on you.

“H-Hi! Y/n-san, uh I’m Hito-kun from class 2… will you go out with me?” The boy bows and you’re thrown off guard.

“Ah, Hito-kun there’s a bit of an issue, uh I already have a crush on someone…” You half lie. Sure you thought Saiki was cute, but he was off limits since you know, best friend things.

“A-ah? Is it Saiki-san? I’m sorry! I thought you thought of him as a friend so I took the chance-“

“I-It’s ok! Kuu’s my best friend, it’s just I’m suspicious that he’s aromatic so uh-“ Saiki slams the door to the roof open and you panic. You forgot he was there. The boy who was previously confessing to you flushes red and rushes off with an apology.

“Kuu! I- uh, you heard nothing…?”

‘Y/n.’

“I know you aren’t interested in me or anything but like feelings work like that you know? Ugh I just ruined our friendship didn’t I…” You shrink onto the floor and Saiki walks up to you, crouching down to meet you eye to eye.

‘Y/n.’

“What…” you mumble.

‘I… I’m not too sure what I feel around you, but I think I like you too,’

“Nice joke Kusuo, sure made me feel so much better,” you grumble, looking away. “I may be dumb but I’m not that dumb,”

‘I’m not joking,’ Saiki forces you to meet his gaze. “I like you too.”

You pause when he actually speaks.

‘Did I kill you?’

“Kuu you can’t just say that and not expect me to break down!” You shove your face into your knees and Saiki smiles.

‘I’ll keep reminding you until you’re convinced, and I’ll take care of you until you know.’

“Then I’ll stick by you until this endless loop ends,” You smile, holding up your pinky.

You two sealed a promise that day.

#saiki k x reader #saiki x reader #saiki k #saiki kusuo #kusuo saiki #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k #saiki no psi nan #was it second grade? third grade? I don't remember #someone correct me if I'm wrong pfft #kusuo x reader

448 notes · View notes

luna-writes-stuff · 3 years

Note

Hello! I love seeing your requests open, you're such an amazing writer!! Could you please write some headcanons about Fili (and maybe Aragorn if you write for lotr) dating a s/o who's often a little morbid and accidentally makes really off-putting or strange remarks? I have Autism and,,, interesting hyperfixations like Mortuary Science, so I often don't realize when the things I say seem strange to others.

Notable quotes of mine that you might want to use include:

"Do you think I could buy rat feet?"

Trying to comfort someone by telling them they'll die eventually

Reading a book about decomposition literally titled "Will a cat eat my eyeballs"

"Your skin is that of a dry, crusty newt" when talking about someone's dry skin

And many, many more instances of me misinterpreting social situations and general weirdness. Thanks so much hun, hope this isn't a weird request!! I love your blog!!

Autistic s/o, Fili Durin

If I wrote down anything wrong or offensive, please let me know. I do not wish to insult anyone, truly. I hope you like it!

Headcanons, genderneutral pronouns

Tw: none????

- When you first met, he was pretty taken aback by you. He was so confused at your remarks at times, but always ran along with it, thinking it was some sort of weird joke.

- But as you grew closer, you told him about your autism, claiming it had been the reason for these comments and hyperfixations.

- And honestly, it just made him much more interested in you. He thought it was so cool how you talk and think about things no one could even imagine. It just blows him away. In the best ways possible.

- Whenever you make a weird remark, such as “That reminds me of that one time I saw dismembered frog.” and while everyone else would grow worried or confused, Fili would just widen his eyes at your remark and response with something like “How did that even happen?” or “Was the frog already dead?”

- At times, you would walk around Dale together and see all kinds of weird and morbid stuff and you’d grow absolutely fascinated. If you wanted to have it, Fili would get it for you. One way or the other.

- He is also completely okay with your impulsive comments about him. One time, you randomly remarked that his skin was as dry as that of a crusty newt and he just touched his own arm, asking you if it was a bad thing, and if it was, how he could get rid of it.

- He just goes along with everything you say, genuinely interested.

- But of course, there will be people who avoid you or make fun of you. Listen to me; this man is not having any of it. For real, he gets so defensive. He can go from 1 to 100 real quick.

- It just has to be the slightest “Don’t say things like that.” and Fili will respond with a “I think their remarks are special and resourceful in their own way. You don’t like it? Don’t listen.”

- If that other person starts an argument with Fili, you’d have to hold him back because he would have a fight til death with someone if it meant defending your honor.

- Besides bad people, he loves talking about you with others who appreciate your comments as well. His brother loves you so much and thinks you’re so funny (in a good way!)

- But unlike Fili, he wouldn’t go along with a remark, he’d actually start to wonder what it would look like. If you wonder if animal brains could be for sale, he’d start wondering it too and before you know it, the two of you are searching every store and market to see if it’s indeed a thing they sell.

- Fili is also a great help during conversations with others. Often, you’d pick up on signals differently or interpret them in another way. He’d explain to you what they meant, knowing it sometimes bothers you.

- But overal, he just thinks you are the best. He showers you with affection constantly, knowing he will never (and doesn’t even want to) find someone like you. He’s so happy that you’re just yourself around him and don’t hold back.

- Sometimes your remarks can actually bring butterflies to his stomach. Maybe he’d be gone for a royal trip for weeks or perhaps he just went out for the day, but the second he hears you say a typical ‘you-thing’, his stomach just flutters and he falls in love all over again.

#Fili #tolkien #lord of the rings #the hobbit #the company of thorin oakenshield #Fili durin #fili x reader #Fili imagine

152 notes · View notes

maraudererasmut · 3 years

Text

Life Update and All That

Hey all!

It’s T here!

I know it’s been a very long while since I’ve been around, and I figured I’m finally at the point where I can pop by and give a bit of an update, in case anyone was curious.

I left Tumblr and Discord for a bit to get my bearings and re-evaluate things. I needed some time to myself to sort through my mental health, figure some stuff out, and get to the point where I was finally at a better place to be able to come back.

A few things have happened since I’ve left that are actually kind of neat!

I published a book and wrote another manuscript!

I’m not going to share too much information about my book here, because I still do want to keep my smut-writing-pseudonym separate from my professional life, but suffice it to say that I published a novella, which got me started on the strange journey that is publishing!

I’m currently in the process of querying my first full-length manuscript, with the intention of getting an agent and publishing it. Hopefully that will be able to go somewhere, but if not, at least I have learned a lot while on my journey!

I realized that I am trans!

To the shock and surprise of absolutely nobody, the person who wrote gay romance and focused on a storyline that predominantly featured a transmasc character is actually, in fact, gay and trans. Shocking, I know!

It took a bit of thinking and talking and self analyzing that mostly occured during the many, many hours of alone time provided by a global pandemic for me to realize that wanting to be a boy does, in fact, make you probably a boy. Who would have guessed.

Anyway, I’m going by he/they pronouns these days. And uh... I guess my descriptions of dysphoria in all of my fics were a bit closer to home than I was ever willing to admit. Funny how these things work.

I bought a house!

I finally did something that I never thought would be possible in my entire life: I actually purchased a house in my city, which is notoriously expensive. It’s the perfect home for me: a large backyard; my very own shop space, which will soon be filled with tools; a sunroom with tons of windows for writing; a roof that I can climb up to and sit on... It’s really such a great home, and I am so excited to start this new chapter of my life here.

One door closed and another opened!

When I first left, there was a job opportunity that was a bit up in the air that would’ve involved me uprooting my life. While it didn’t end up panning out, I was ended up stumbling upon a different job in my field. I almost forgot how much I love what I do, and I am so glad to be back into the thick of it!

I figured that I should probably also try to pre-emptively answer any questions that you may have while I’m here and typing this all out. So... here goes!

Will you be continuing *insert fanfiction*?

I’m honestly not sure. The best answer that I can give right now is: Maybe?

I definitely want to try to continue some of my storylines, tie up some loose ends, and actually put together those plots that I had swirling around my mind.

That being said, I also have other projects that are currently on the go that might take precidence. Most importantly, I have several original stories that I plan to eventually query (or even publish, if I can!).

If I find that I am inspired to go back and write more Wolfstar, rest assured, I absolutely WILL. These boys will always hold a special place in my heart, and I honestly don’t know if I will ever be truly rid of them, even if I tried.

Will you still be making art for the fandom?

Again, I’m not sure.

I’ve been doing a LOT of fanart, on a different account, just to keep up my skills while I was away. There are quite a few fandoms that I have been making art for, and I don’t know yet if I want to merge these two accounts.

That’s a decision for the future. :P

But you can always try to pop into my ask box and send a request, and if I can get to it, I will try my absolute best.

You and I have unfinished business!! Will you be getting to that?!

Ah, yes. I remember now. I left the fandom while I was in a very BAD place, and most things fell by the wayside while I worked on my mental health. I’m sorry.

If we do have any kind of unfinished business at all that you need to talk to me about, please do! I want to try to resolve things and make sure that everyone is satisfied with whatever solution we can come to. Feel free to reach out, and I will try my absolute best to respond and rectify.

Rest assured, if we have had any kind of negative interraction in the past, I have absolutely spent the past year and a half allowing that to eat away at me. I’ve been feeling guilt up the wazoo, a ball of anxiety so tight, you could probably play baseball with it.

I’m trying not to let these kinds of things bother me anymore. I’m trying to learn to let things go, and focus on the present and the future. I am truly sorry for things that I have done in the past, but I am finally at the point where I am ready to put my effort into making things better instead of dwelling on what was.

Will you be active on this blog now? Are you back for good?

I think you already know the answer to that question...

I don’t know.

I haven’t made any decisions yet about whether or not I’m here to lurk and like and reblog or if I’m going to be actually producing content again. I have no idea yet how active I will be here. That really depends on how I’m feeling, how I’m doing mentally, and what the reception to this post looks like.

So... Maybe?

DID YOU MISS ME WHEN YOU WERE GONE?

Yes. Yes, I did.

If you are actually asking me this question, chances are that I did miss you. Yes, you specifically. Yes, I thought about you a lot. Yes, I wished that I had the courage to go back and just say “HI, I MISSED YOU, PLEASE CAN WE BE FRIENDS AGAIN!”

I am not great at reaching out, though. I’m not great at handling my emotions period. Hopefully, if you’re wondering if I missed you, you’d be interested in reconnecting, knowing that I did, in fact, miss you a lot.

Are you okay now?

I will be.

Even when I’m not okay these days, I at least have the wherewithall to be able to say “while I might not be doing great right now, I know that I will be okay.”

And isn’t that what we all want? :P

Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope this was interesting and/or informative.

And... I’m glad that I wrote this. It helped.

With love,

#maraudererasmut #writing my thoughts out #T Talks

79 notes · View notes