#but this also makes me think of someone else that I'm talking to

[di-lucss]

I would love a little drabble or story abt ur last thought (Jason not being made for hookup culture). He’s not the guy that catches feelings from sleeping w someone but rather he needs feel something for someone before sleeping w them (or else he’ll feel like physically nauseous). Unfortunately he’s stuck fwbs!reader who is blissfully unaware of that b/c he (stupidly) agreed to whatever she said, hoping he could win her over (took advice from Dick, who also doesn’t have a successful love life, which seems a bit silly but hindsight 20/20).

ohhhhhh anon you lovely lovely person i have been WAITING for this request. since i’m not very good at writing fem!pov i hope you’re cool with vague second pov!! jason is so acespec coded i lobe him. i wrote this in like an hour and a half ummm this just shows you can do anything with a little inspiration and motivation.

cw: very mild suggestive content. yearning. so much yearning. non-graphic mentions of injuries. taking advice from richard john grayson.

word count: 0.6k.

tags: @dulcet-aurora @scrumptiouslylovingarcade ❪ feel free to dm me if you'd like to be added! ❫

thinking about fwb!jason todd.

fwb!jason todd who didn’t start sleeping with you just for the hell of it. you guys had been friends for a good long while; he’d crash at your apartment every now and then after patrols, you’d patch him up when he nearly bled out was grazed with a blade or a bullet or whatever.

fwb!jason todd whose feelings for you just kind of hit him one night out of nowhere when he was once again in need of your handy-dandy sewing skills—something you’d picked up in the months since he started barging through your living room window every few nights.

fwb!jason todd who didn’t even feel the needle piercing his skin as he stared at you. at the concentration in your eyes, the set of your brows, the way your tongue stuck out between your teeth just a touch as you did your best to keep the stitches on his side clean and even. you were always considerate like that; trying to make sure nothing scarred to badly, that he wasn’t in too much pain, that he

fwb!jason todd who didn’t even mean to kiss you when you looked up at him. it just kind of happened. it was clumsy and a little rushed, but it didn't feel like the rest. didn't feel wrong. didn't make him feel like his skin was crawling off his bones.

fwb!jason todd who's had hookups before, but none of them ever felt right. but when the two of you wound up tangled up under some throw blanket on your faded leather couch... he just couldn't explain it. it didn't feel like he was betraying himself. your body slotted against his like it was supposed to be there—smooth and right.

fwb!jason todd who woke up the next morning and you looked so peaceful sleeping on him, head on his chest, arms around his waist. he didn't feel repulsed, he felt a weird, uncommon sort of peace.

fwb!jason todd who wasn't really ready for the conversation that came after. the 'what is this now' talk. he'd never had to have that talk before, not with anyone else. all he knew was he didn't want to lose that feeling—whatever it really was—that he got from you.

fwb!jason todd who just nodded along to every word you said. 'i really liked last night.' so did he. 'i don't want it to make things awkward.' neither did he. 'i don't know that i'm in a place to have a relationship.' that one made his chest inexplicably tight. what were the two of you supposed to do then? go on like nothing happened? like it was just like any other night where you'd sew him up and he'd crash on the couch and be gone before dawn?

fwb!jason todd who nearly didn't catch the solution you gave; 'we could just... keep doing that. but like, as friends. if you want.' he didn't know that was really an option—not for him, with the complicated feelings that had apparently been building up inside him for this long. he could only say he'd think about it.

fwb!jason todd who left shortly after. he didn't stop thinking about it—couldn't, really. it was against his better judgement, but he went to the one person he knew more-than-likely had experience with these sorts of situations: dick. the guy had a colorful love life, he was the only one that made sense.

fwb!jason todd who only half-trusted dick's insight: being friends-with-benefits almost always ends with you guys dating. it wasn't what he wanted, not really. he liked the sex, he really did, but that wasn't the only thing he was hoping for. but if it was what he had to do to have even a small part of you, maybe he could hold out until you were ready.

fwb!jason todd who left dick's with not so much hope as determination. he could wait for you. as long as he needed to.

© di-lucss | all rights reserved, do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

[misstycloud]

Hello! What if yan! Playboy saw reader again but with another guy and they are acting lovey dovey how would he react?

Not proofread!

-----------

He would freak out. He'd think about all those nights he laid awake in bed, wondering where you were or if you were even alive. Yandere playboy couldn't bear it if something has happened to you.

However, he didn't expect to receive the answer to his questions by seeing you being all snuggly with someone who's not him.

His first thought would be that he's happy you're safe, then the rage would come. It would take over his entire mind and be the only thing he could think of.

How could you just leave him like that? especially after he poured his heart out to you; and you acted like it didn't matter. Despite the deep feelings he held for you, he couldn't pretend like what you put him through was okay.

"(Y/n)." he said in a stern voice after marching up to you and your date.

You froze and slowly turned to see your love-victim looking furiously at you. You had been careful to not actually divulge any details about your personal life-nothing that could give him a tip on where to find you. Yet, here he was in the flesh.

"who are you? cant you see we're on a date?" your new partner voices, irritated at the interruption.

"I wasn't talking to you." the playboy hissed. He absolutely hated the other mans existence. Of course, he was mad at you too but his presence reminded him that you could leave him for someone else; that there was a chance he wasn't enough to please you.

You sighed and said, "Go away. I'm busy." you also swatted in his direction, making your opinion clear.

"where were you? why did you stop responding to me? you have no idea how worried I was."

"I think being ghosted should send a pretty clear message, dude. I DON'T like you and I'm not interested in you anymore so leave me alone." you combed your fingers through your date's hair. "I have someone else now."

The playboy clenched his fists. He gritted his teeth. "You're coming with me." his tone indicated you had no day in the matter.

You couldn't believe it. Who did this guy think he was. Sure, you knew he fell for you(hard), which was the purpose, but that did not mean he could think he owned you.

"No, like hell i'm going anywhere with you."

"Yes. You are."

"Dude, she said no. Back the fuck up.'' your date tried to defend you. Too bad he wasn't someone of importance, otherwise he might;ve had a real chance of taking you from him.

He glanced him up and down, clearly unimpressed. He couldn't fathom how you left him for someone like...this. Seriously? Was this truly what you desired in a partner or was it possible I was all a test? Did you do this in hope of him proving his dedication to your relationship?

Well, if that was the case then he would gladly prove his loyalty to you. You were the one he wanted to make his life partner and there was nothing else that could measure up to the emotions YOU made him feel.

You saw your former fling walk up to your date and lean in close. He whispered something in his ear that you couldn't hear. Your date's eyes widened and he went pale. The longer the playboy spoke, the more fearful he became. You did have a clue what was said but it clearly freaked him out- enough for him to bail.

He quickly excused himself and ended it with, "Don't bother calling anymore, I'm not interested in some triangle bullshit." before rushing off in a random direction.

"Looks like he wasn't as interested as he claimed to be, no need to feel sad though, you have me now." he grinned and wrapped an arm around your waist.

You pried it off you. "What did you say to him?"

"nothing that would have bothered him if he was actually serious about you."

"Stay away from me. I left you and I will never go back to you- I never even liked you, it was all fake. Don't you get it. I just wanted to get back at you for all the shit you've put people through."

He went quiet at your words. You scoffed and decided to walk away. However, before you could get more than two meters from him, he gripped your arm. You winced as his nails dug into your skin.

"ow! what the-"

"Don't be so rude , (Y/n). I don't think you realise whose feelings you've played with. I love you and I don't plan on going home without you." he hugged you close to his body, ignoring your struggles. "I understand how all this is simply karma for how I used to behave and I accept that, but I won't let you carry out your punishment. You will let me marry you, is that understood? Don't forget who I am- what position I have in society."

You felt your blood run cold.

His smile didn't reach his eyes. "You started a game you have no way of finishing."

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

@zepskies

Okay, I am finally able to settle down and read part 2 and I am so excited!!

Again, I really love the soft reader in this fic. She's lovely and kind and there's just something about her that's so endearing that it makes me want to give her a big hug. 💚

“Dean, this baby wasn’t planned, but he’s not a mistake,” you say. “I don’t regret anything.”

I'm melting over her reassurance to Dean that she doesn't regret a single second! And the kiss had me screaming!

And then, he’ll be ruined for any other chocolate chip cookies that try to grab his taste buds. He’ll say, Blech. Chips Ahoy? These aren’t as good as Mom makes!

As someone who loves to bake I felt this in my soul. Also I love that you've given us another reader like the reader in Midnight Espresso who likes to take care of other people, because again it's so warm and welcoming and fantastic!

This cozy little scene kind of annoys Dean somehow, though he doesn’t know why. He does know that it shouldn’t.

Dean, Dean, Dean... you know why. We all know why.

She’s going to be a good mom, he thinks. He can only hope against hope that he can be the man his son needs.

I'm so happy at this point, but I just know that Lisa is probably gonna ruin it. Dang it, I love that you included her to cause some friction and some angst, but I'm just living life on the edge of my emotions each time she comes in.

“Why the hell did he have to bring her,” you mutter to yourself, wiping sweat from your brow. Here you are, gritting your teeth through contraction after contraction in this damn hospital bed, and Dean is outside the room talking to Lisa.

And there she is. Why, WHY did he bring her!

You know you have no real reason to be upset. She’s been trying her best to be your friend in recent months. Hell, she helped Eileen and your mom plan your baby shower. She even brought you flowers when she got to the hospital, but you notice how less than five minutes after she got here, she and Dean became embroiled in yet another argument. It seems to you that all they do is argue, break up for a week or two, and then get back together again.

Now I feel bad because I read the next sentence about Lisa being nice. Lisa I'm so sorry. Please accept this potato as my humble apology. 🥔

A large, warm hand rests over yours. Your gaze raises slowly, and Benny smiles at you. He’s serious though. “Don’t you worry about that,” he says. “You’re not gonna be alone.”

Okay... before I dive into the five years later, I just want to say that I feel so bad for Dean, but at the same time you GO Benny! Because he's being so sweet and kind and isn't playing with her emotions, and he's literally there for her even though she's having someone else's kid. Like what a man. 👏🏻

Oh, yeah, and the “you and Benny” thing? That’s been going well for two years now.

Literally screaming yes! I'm so happy for them. And also I love the Robert Plant reference.

Benny is a bit closed off though, the strong stoic type. He’s hard for you to get a read on, and sometimes you wonder if he’s just indulging you when you ramble on about your day or make silly jokes. Even now, sometimes you withhold the first thought that comes to your mind, hoping he doesn’t think you immature or…too much.

Oh buddy... and just like that the happy feeling is starting to ebb away. I mean I'm happy that she has someone, but I hate that she feels like she can't be herself there. It turns into feeling trapped really quick.

Side Note: Love the Jurassic Park reference. I know that you're as big a Jurassic Park girlie as I am!! 🦖

But it's also terrible that he let a four year old watch that 😬

“And she seems happy,” Lisa points out. “Don’t you want the mother of your kid to be with a good man who treats her right?” He nods, trying to hide his growing annoyance. “‘Course I do. I just…I don’t know. I still don’t see them together, I guess.” “Well, they’ve been together for like, two years.”

Baby, he wants to be the good man who treats her right. And don't think I don't see the subtle hinting that you've got going on Lisa. I'm about to take back my potato.

Lisa takes his hands in hers, uncrossing his arms. “I want to get married someday. I want kids too. And I want that kind of life with you…I’m just not sure you want it with me.” Dean expels a heavy sigh. “Lis—” “Don’t answer me right now,” she says, but she levels him with a serious look. “You need to decide though, Dean. Five years is long enough. You should know by now if you want to be with me.”

Dang it. Now I feel bad for Lisa. It's true though. It's literally five years of on and off and where is it going? I see what she's getting at and I do feel for her.

“By ‘we,’ you mean you and Benny,” Dean says, his tone becoming surly. “And about that. Don’t you think a bike is something you should run by me? That’s typically a ‘dad’ kind of gift.”

Ah yes, the classic Dean Winchester get mad at other things because he's too afraid to say the one big thing that he's held close to his heart for the past 5 years. *sigh* 😒

It's sad to me because Dean could have done this five years ago and it would have been less complicated. Now he's been with Lisa for 5 years, and the reader has been with Benny for 2. And yes maybe the reader isn't happy, happy, but in the end there are four people involved in this rather than the two it could have been at the beginning (or maybe 3?).

“Come ‘ere,” Dean says, a little stronger. When he reaches out to his son, the kid hops up onto the bed and buries his face into his father’s chest. Dean holds him as securely as he can, soothing his hand over the boy’s hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “It’s okay, little man. ‘M okay,” he promises. Robbie nods, but he still continues to cry.

Oh my word he's such a good dad to Robbie even when he's hurt and I can't take the feelings! 😭

And the fact that Benny calls Dean "brother" is just making the feelings even worse, because I know what's coming and oh man, it's gonna hurt Benny so much.

“Maybe if you and Dean stayed together longer than five minutes at a time, he’d put you back on the short list,” you sling back. “But the truth is, you’ve never just…been there for Dean. Not without demanding something from him.” Lisa scoffs incredulously. “Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you. You’re the reason he can’t commit to anything. You think your little world is the only one that matters, and you call Dean for any little thing! What, don’t you have a boyfriend to help fix your goddamn sink?” 

Oh boy... this is... this is really... I have no words because both of them have points. But I would still like my potato back, thank you very much.

He has to be okay with the fact that you’ll probably marry Benny. You’ll keep making him cookies and cakes, giving him your smile and your time and your body. And Robbie will probably think of Benny as more of a father than his own Weekend Dad.  Meanwhile, you’ve spent the past few months keeping yourself in check as well. You’ve stopped calling Dean for help whenever something breaks down in your old-ass apartment. You try to keep your conversations less about life and troubles and whatever funny thing your students did that day in class, and more focused on Robbie–strictly about his schedule and his needs.

This is KILLING ME ALEX! They just need to communicate with one another instead of shutting each other out! DANG IT! SPEAK! DEAN STOP DOING THE SUFFER IN SILENCE BIT! We all know you can look super hot while you're brooding, but COME ON! I just want to hit him with a frying pan!

And her! Oh my word. I love her but please, PLEASE call Dean! He's your friend! You like him!

“That was you asking me out?” you ask incredulously.

Nice and safe.

Like an end table. Because that's what every woman wants from her significant other 🤣

Also I'm literally cackling over the fact that Dean and Benny chose the same night to ask their ladies to marry them. Their brains are so in sync LOL.

The only face he can conjure is yours. Your eyes are warm and welcoming, your smile as bright and contagious as your laugh. The only voice he can hear is yours, gentle and strong at the same time. The only one he can see is you. He knows the shampoo you use an

FINALLY!

“Maybe you did, in your own way,” she says, laughing a little through her tears as she wipes them away. “But you already have a family, Dean. Go fight for it.” 

She can have a whole truck full of potatoes. She did the right thing and the "Go fight for it," is just so lovely.

“It’s over. For good this time,” Dean shakes his head. “I realized what I wanted for my life, and where my heart is…” And he chuckles weakly. “Truth is, you’ve had it the whole time, sweetheart.”

Not like I’ve just hurt him, you think. Guilt still pricks at your heart. The last thing you ever wanted to do was lead him on, and yet, that’s what you’d done, wasn’t it? You thought you had loved him. You’re sure that you did, but maybe it just wasn’t the kind of love that could reach down deep and grab you, set your blood on fire, and make you ache when the burn was gone. That spark licks across your skin when Dean takes your hands.  

I especially love this little bit, because you describe what the reader wants in love (what we all want LOL) and then you add the difference when Dean touches her. But I also completely understand her hesitancy to go to Dean even though it's what her heart is telling her. She's trying not to get her heart broken and yet Dean is the person she's held there for so long.

Dean never imagined that his own son would hand him the ring he gives to his wife, but today, it just feels like symmetry. He grins and winks at Robbie.

Oh goodness THE WEDDING! IT'S HAPPENING!

Can I ask how long it's been since they got back together? I love the time skip, but I'm just curious to see how long Dean waited to pop the question. 😊

Also the stuff about Benny is so sad- I'm beyond happy for the reader and Dean (their love makes me so happy)- but dang he was Dean's best friend. And the stuff about Dean saying that this wasn't how he wanted to be promoted, I'm having so many feelings AHHHHH! But I wish Benny happiness. Who knows? Maybe he and Lisa will meet up in a few years and bond 🤪

(I also felt the need to add the next paragraph because I read the comments)

Also I'm gonna say this- I like what you did with Lisa and with Benny. I think that it made sense to add them in this and I think that Lisa added a catty/dramatic energy and Benny sort of became the (terrible word) placeholder for Dean to the reader, but both of these characters were helpful for moving the story along. And I think that Dean's character makes sense because yes at the beginning he was a playboy, but then he started to feel the stability of the reader, started to crave something more than what he had in his life- and instead of going with her, he clung to Lisa. Just as the reader wanted something more and started to date Benny, but missed the electricity of what the reader thought love should feel like. Dean and the reader both felt the need to push down their feelings and search in the wrong places for what they wanted from each other. At least that's how I took it and I loved every single second of this fic and how you wrapped everything up!

ALEX, this fic was amazing! It had me feeling all the feels on this wonderful, beautifully written emotional rollercoaster. I can't wait to read the epilogue!

IF I STAY - Part 2

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized!Reader

Summary: Your dream is to work with kids as an elementary school teacher. Dean is well on his way to becoming a firefighter, keeping things light and “strings unattached” as he goes. After a one-night stand you never saw coming, you and Dean are forced to deal with the consequences…and figure out if the connection between you is worth fighting for.

AN: Deep breaths Are you ready for a rollercoaster of emotions? 😘❤️

Song Inspo: “I Can’t Help Falling in Love” and “It’s Now or Never” by Elvis

Word Count: 13.1K

Tags/Warnings: Angst, pregnancy feels, hurt/comfort, fluff, time jumps and flashbacks, sexual tension, mutual pining, spice~, and an ending…

❤️‍🔥 If I Stay Masterlist

Part 2: It’s Now or Never

At the doctor’s office, Dean goes in with you for the first trimester ultrasound. There you learn that you’re going to have a boy. Tears well up in your eyes and slip down your cheeks.

Dean wears a look of amazement as he sits on the edge of your bed. He takes up your hand and squeezes gently. He tries to be a strong support, even though he also tries to hide the fear that begins to churn in his gut.

For one of the first times in his life since Sam was born, he feels the weight of responsibility pressing down on him. In a good way. In a fucking scary way.

He looks at you and sees the wonder written across your face while you watch the tiny shape of your baby on the screen. His heartbeat thwaps fast and loud in the speakers.

Dean realizes something else then; the decision you're making is changing the course of your whole damn life…and it’s his fault.

With his weekly hookup rate, in the very back shelves of his mind he knew something like this could happen, even though he thought he'd been careful. (Apparently, condoms are fragile little shits.) But here, in this white wall-to-wall room that smells like hospital antiseptic, that thwap thwap thwap of a heartbeat reverberating in his ears, the reality of this is crashing hard on his shoulders and rattling down to the base of his spine.

Despite his earlier happiness, those thoughts stay with him when you two eventually get back into his car. You have the pictures of the sonogram in your hands. You smile down at them before you put them back in your purse for safekeeping.

However, you notice Dean’s sudden melancholy as he stares out at the road. He’s started the car, but he hasn’t moved to pull out of the parking lot yet.

“Hey, you okay?” you say, resting a gentle hand on his arm.

Dean shakes his head. “Look…I’m sorry for tossing a giant friggin’ monkey wrench into your life. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.”

If possible, your heart softens even more. You slide your hand down to grasp his.

“Dean, this baby wasn’t planned, but he’s not a mistake,” you say. “I don’t regret anything.”

Dean stares back at you, incredulously. He can’t believe you could really say that to him. He doesn’t know what to say. He only knows what’s in his mind, and what he feels compelled to do in that moment.

He leans over and kisses you. It’s a firm meeting of his lips to yours and achingly familiar. But ultimately, it’s chaste. He pulls away and settles back in his seat.

When you blink your eyes back open, your expression is slack in shock.

“I’m sorry,” he says, seeming sheepish, and guilty. “I meant to say thank you. Just didn’t know any other way to say it.”

After a moment, you smile at him. It’s warm and almost shy.

Dean clears his throat, trying to ignore the way his face is heating up. He doesn’t say anything more. He just takes the wheel and shifts gears, pulling the car out of the parking lot. 

You don’t know what possesses you to bake cookies. Dozens and dozens of them, all the chocolate chip cookie recipes you can find. You’re in search of the perfect one. This will be the recipe your son will grow up on, and every time he eats them, he’ll remember how much you loved him.

And then, he’ll be ruined for any other chocolate chip cookies that try to grab his taste buds. He’ll say, Blech. Chips Ahoy? These aren’t as good as Mom makes!

…Or something like that.

Yes, these cookies have to be perfect. You’ll even write the ingredients down on a notecard and hide it away, and it’ll become your family secret recipe.

Once you feel like your cookie game is strong enough, you decide to test these babies out. You bring two dozen painstakingly baked confections to Firehouse 83, where Dean works. The man is a bottomless pit, to be sure, but you also want other people’s unbiased opinions. For science.

You park your car on the side of the road, making sure you’re not blocking the driveway where two huge fire trucks are parked. You head inside the firehouse with your big container under your arm and your purse on the other. Now at seven months into your pregnancy, you’ve gotten to the embarrassing “waddle” stage.

You’re still determined to be active though! You plan to keep working until you have the baby. Your parents live a few hours away, but you’re grateful that they want to help out as much as possible.

Even though they weren’t happy to hear about how you got pregnant, by now they've met Dean and begrudgingly admitted to liking him. He's really stepped up to the responsibility of a future father, insisting on baby-proofing your apartment, helping you shop for the essentials, and going with you to as many doctor’s appointments as he can. He’s even agreed to giving you child support payments, even though you hadn’t wanted to ask for it.

You look for him now as you enter the firehouse, trying to push the heavy glass door open with one hand.

“Here, I got you,” says a familiar baritone voice.

You’re pleasantly surprised at the man who helps you inside.

“Benny! It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, been…a while,” he chuckles, glancing down at the swell of your belly, but he squeezes your shoulder and leans in to hug you gently.

“Dean filled you in?” you ask. You hope so. Having to explain the story to one of his own friends would be embarrassing, especially since this is the man you walked in Sam’s wedding with. It reminds you of that day, and the way you told Dean that news in a glorified closet, with shaking hands and the wrong kind of butterflies.

Thankfully, Benny nods. “That he did…but come on, I’ll show you around. And I see you’ve brought somethin’ special for us?”

He gestures at the container you're holding and offers to take it off your hands. You give it to him, grateful for the help.

“Yeah, and I want you guys to give me your honest opinion.”

Benny tosses you a wink and a smile. “That I can do.”

Your cheeks begin to warm in a blush, but the way he helps you to a comfy couch in the common room earns your smile. There are still good men left in this world, and you’re glad to know that Dean works so well with one.

“You want some coffee, or water? Think we might have some lemonade,” Benny says.

“Water would be great, thank you,” you reply, as you rub your belly. The little man has decided to kick at your liver today. “I stopped drinking coffee for the baby. ”

It's your biggest challenge, to be honest. Try wrangling a group of fifteen to twenty six-year-olds while running on green tea, the fumes of sleep deprivation, reduced bladder control, and as much vim as you can muster.

“Ah, right,” Benny nods. “My sister has two kids. She cut out coffee, pain meds, some dairy stuff. But she claimed cheesecake was all right, ‘cause it’s got cake in the name.”

You giggle. “I see no flaw in her logic.”

Down the hall of the firehouse, Dean is just coming back in from going through a set of drills. He’s still the Candidate—the freshest blood in the house—so they’ve been putting him through his paces for the past several months. He’s eager to learn and to prove himself.

His ears perk up in confusion though. Did he just hear your voice?

Why does it smell like a bakery in here?

When he rounds the corner, he sees you in the common room, smiling and giggling like a teenager at something Benny said to you while he eats a soft baked cookie right out of a Tupperware container. You must’ve brought it for the firehouse.

This cozy little scene kind of annoys Dean somehow, though he doesn’t know why. He does know that it shouldn’t.

“Hey, look who’s here,” Dean says, forcing himself to smile. It becomes easier when you look his way, your eyes brightening at his arrival.

“There you are! Come ‘ere and try these,” you say, pointing at the box Benny holds. “Tell me if our son’s going to have the best PTA mom ever.”

Dean can’t help but grin after trying a big bite of one of your cookies.

“Oh, mah Gah,” he says, holding a hand under his mouth so nothing comes crumbling out.

“Good?” you ask.

“Good friggin’ cookie,” he confirms, after he swallows. “You’re gonna have the other parents frothing at the mouth. Who’s gonna be able to compete with this?”

Benny nods in agreement. When Dean squeezes your shoulder, your sweet, happy smile makes him smile too.

She’s going to be a good mom, he thinks. He can only hope against hope that he can be the man his son needs.

Two months later, the time has finally come. Your water breaks when you’re in the middle of teaching your second graders how to spell exaggerate—and no, Joey, it’s not e-g-g-zagerate.

However, the embarrassment of him pointing out the fluid beginning to stain your slacks is swiftly cut off by your shock. Your first call is to the principal, to have her send someone to cover your class. Your next call is to Dean, telling him to meet you at the hospital.

“Why the hell did he have to bring her,” you mutter to yourself, wiping sweat from your brow. Here you are, gritting your teeth through contraction after contraction in this damn hospital bed, and Dean is outside the room talking to Lisa.

You know you have no real reason to be upset. She’s been trying her best to be your friend in recent months. Hell, she helped Eileen and your mom plan your baby shower. She even brought you flowers when she got to the hospital, but you notice how less than five minutes after she got here, she and Dean became embroiled in yet another argument. It seems to you that all they do is argue, break up for a week or two, and then get back together again.

The sex must be explosive, like the fireworks at goddamn Disney World.

But Dean eventually does come back into the room alone. His support grounds you over the next few hours. He lets you basically break his hand, all while he gives you encouragement (and stands by your shoulder, so he doesn’t see anything you’d rather him not see).

And then, your son is born. Every muscle, every cell in your body is exhausted, but the pain meds have kicked in, and you’re in that blissed out state between abject reality and being entirely entranced by the bundle in your arms. His perfect face is just there, sleeping for the moment after the nurses taught you how to breastfeed.

Dean returns to sit in the chair beside you. He gives you some water and a piece of a protein bar. You’re not that hungry, but he pointed out that you haven’t eaten since before your water broke.

“Sam and Eileen are on their way up,” he says.

You nod in reply. You’re too into your son right now to think of anything else.

Dean shakes his head in wonder as he reaches out with a tentative hand, brushing his fingers over the baby’s downy head. He was born with a little tuft of brown hair.

“Okay, down to business,” Dean says, shooting you a playful look. “I vote for Zeppelin.”

You groan. “Dean, no. Veto. I’m not naming my son after a rock band.”

“Aw, come on. It’s a badass name!”

“What about Aiden?” you suggest.

“Veto,” he snorts. You two agreed to getting five “vetos” each, but this discussion has been more like a battle of wills over the last several months.

“Okay, what about Daniel? That’s strong, classic,” you pose.

Dean considers it with a tilt of his head. “All right, that one’s a maybe.”

Again, he strokes the baby’s soft cheek. You look over at Dean with a small smile.

“You’re going to be a good dad, you know,” you tell him. It earns his gaze. Although he’s trying to stay strong, you read the hidden insecurity there, the worry and fear. You rest a hand on his arm. “You are, Dean. You’re a good man, and you’ve really stepped up these past few months. This obviously isn’t how either of us thought our lives would go, but if this had to happen with someone, I’m glad it’s you.”

Dean’s expression softens. He hesitates, but he lays a hand over yours and squeezes gently.

“Thanks,” he says.

Your eyes meet, and it’s a moment charged with something you can’t even name. It’s not the first time you’ve felt this feeling with him. It both fills your heart with warmth, and makes you ache.

Then the door opens. It’s Lisa, Sam, and Eileen. Dean’s hand slips away from yours as they all pour in to congratulate you and Dean, and of course, meet the baby. There’s a lot of soft cooing and playful shushing.

In that small chaos, your parents call to tell you that they’re finally almost here. It really sucked not having your mom with you, but your parents live far enough away that they were going to take a train and stay with you for at least a week. Their train unfortunately got delayed due to mechanical failure.

It's okay though. Getting through the past several hours has made you realize that you’re stronger and more capable than you think, and even though part of you is still scared to death, you don’t need a husband to be a good mom. You’re going to give this your all, no matter who’s beside you…

And that's no more apparent than when Dean soon has to step out again, leading Lisa out of the room. He saw how her “helpful” suggestion to have a get-together at their apartment to celebrate the baby’s birth was setting you on edge. Really, you just want to sleep for the next 24-hours and not have any more pictures of you taken.

It gets loud enough outside your hospital room that Sam and Eileen feel they have to intervene. Lisa is Eileen’s best friend, and she’s the best equipped to try and deescalate the argument from that end, while Sam deals with Dean. It’s messy, it’s irritating, and it means that even today, you can’t just have a little bit of peace.

You sigh and cradle your still nameless baby close to your chest. He’s all that matters. Already, your heart is so damn full just taking him in.

“What’s your name, my little love?” you whisper. “What am I going to write on your certificate, besides Winchester?”

“How about Benjamin,” comes a Louisiana drawl.

You perk up and smile in surprise. “Benny, hey.”

He greets you with a slightly hesitant kiss on the cheek. He’s brought the baby an adorable teddy bear, and you a beautiful bouquet of white and blue roses, along with a box of chocolates.

“It’s the assorted kind, but they’ve got plenty of the caramel ones you like,” he says, then gazes down at the baby. “Aw, he’s a little charmer. Already got more of you than Dean, that’s for sure.”

You laugh lightly at his teasing. “I don’t know about that.” You hope your son inherits Dean’s strong jaw, and his green eyes.

Benny scratches the back of his head. “Also…sorry if I’m crossing some kind of boundary here. Looks like it’s a bit of a circus outside.”

You shake your head and smile through burgeoning tears. You set the chocolates on the end table where he’s placed the flowers and the teddy bear.

“No, it’s very sweet. Thank you,” you say. You glance out the window of your room to the hallway, where the arguing between Dean, Lisa, Sam, and Eileen seems to finally be calming down. You’re so damn tired, you don’t give a crap about whatever they’re hashing out now.

You look down at your son, and despite your strong thoughts earlier, insecurity begins to creep back into your mind like inky claws.  

“How are you holding up?” Benny asks. His face is kind and concerned when he notes the change in you.

You meet him with a wobbly smile. “Honestly? I’m afraid. I know I have a lot of people who want to support me, and I’m grateful, but…I just have this terrible feeling that we’re going to end up alone, him and me.”

You look down at your son, and you have to wipe away a tear from your eye before it falls on his face.

A large, warm hand rests over yours. Your gaze raises slowly, and Benny smiles at you. He’s serious though.

“Don’t you worry about that,” he says. “You’re not gonna be alone.”

FIVE YEARS LATER... 

For all that changes, there are some things that stay the same.

Dean and Lisa are still the world’s most “off again, on again” couple you’ve ever met. Sam and Eileen are still going strong as the hardworking, driven career couple. Your son is growing more and more every day and just started kindergarten this year.

(You ultimately caved on Dean’s idea to name him Robert, as in Robert Plant, lead singer of Led Zeppelin.)

Oh, yeah, and the “you and Benny” thing? That’s been going well for two years now.

What can you say? The man is persistent, but respectfully so. He’s considerate, reliable, and always calls you when work at the firehouse has him running late.

You haven’t yet invited him to move in with you. That part you’re still hesitant on, mostly because of your son, but Benny helps you drop off Robbie at school and makes breakfast for you all whenever he stays over your apartment. Benny takes an interest in your son’s life and keeps up with all his energy, taking him to the park to run himself ragged before dinner, and helping you tuck him in at night.

Benny is a bit closed off though, the strong stoic type. He’s hard for you to get a read on, and sometimes you wonder if he’s just indulging you when you ramble on about your day or make silly jokes. Even now, sometimes you withhold the first thought that comes to your mind, hoping he doesn’t think you immature or…too much.

But Benny shows his caring in all those little things he does for you. They add up into the big things, and he makes you feel supported. He makes you feel safe.

He even helps you plan your son’s fifth birthday. Robbie wanted to go all out on a dinosaur theme; he’s been hooked on Jurassic Park ever since Benny “accidentally” let him watch it with him on one of your rare nights out with your friends.

So you set up a little party at the park by your apartment. You managed to reserve the biggest gazebo, where there are three picnic tables covered with dinosaur plates, and tablecloths, streamers in different shades of green. You even bought a big dinosaur cake—also in a radioactive green color that you hadn’t been sure about, but your son talked you into. Robbie thinks it’s awesome.

He’s running around on the playground with a few of his friends from school. Their parents (along with Sam, Eileen, and Lisa) are talking amongst themselves at one of the picnic tables while you try to figure out how to get the Bluetooth speaker to connect with your phone.

“Haha! Got it. If you're so smart, Alexa, why don't you connect on the first try?” You fist-pump the air triumphantly, just as Benny comes to your side. He wraps an arm around your waist and kisses your cheek, making you smile.

“How’s it going out there?” you ask, nodding at the kids. Plus Dean, who’s gamely been the one to keep them entertained with different games. Right now, it’s a thrilling game of Cowboys and Outlaws, where Robbie and his friends are the cowboys, and Dean is the outlaw. He’s been hiding under the slide, behind trees and other playground fixtures, while the kids have little squirt guns to pelt him with water every time they find him.

It's pretty damn cute, and you’ve been taking pictures. You smile at the sight of Dean leaping out at Robbie and the kids, catching them off guard.

“You’ll never take me alive, Sheriff!” Dean declares.

“Oh, it’s goin’,” Benny remarks with an amused shake of his head. “Still hard to believe that guy’s about to make it to Lieutenant.”

“Hahaaa, gotcha!!” Dean cackles. He’s grabbed up Robbie and yanked him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Robbie screeches with laughter while his dad runs around the playground, being chased by a bunch of five-year-olds with squirt guns.

Your smile threatens to make your cheeks hurt. You know your life is…unconventional, to say the least, but Dean is a good father to your son. He’s also been working hard at his job. He just took the Lieutenant’s test, and even though Benny already occupies that position at Firehouse 83, a spot at another firehouse might open up for Dean to transfer.

“Part of me doesn’t want to,” Dean admitted to you last week, while he was working on fixing your stubborn, leaky sink. “All the guys there, they’re like family, you know?” “I understand,” you nodded. “You have to do what feels best for you, whether that’s staying where you feel comfortable, or moving up in your career somewhere else. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.” He took in your advice with a slow nod. “Yeah, thanks. Guess I have to time to think about it. Lisa had other ideas.” “Of course,” you said with a smile, but it soon dropped. “Why, what did she say?” “Do what I can to move up,” he sighed. “She’s got a point. That title comes with a pay bump, one I could really use right now.” “I get that. Totally valid,” you said. “But I just think it’s important for you to be happy with it too. Especially with what you do, helping people, saving people…I’d imagine being in the right mindset for all that is important, right? Who you work with can be just as important as the money stuff.” Dean considered you with a smile. “Yeah, exactly.”

As you think about it now, you have to admit that he’s grown up a lot.

Dean has to lean against a tree to catch his breath. Am I already getting too old for this crap?

Feels kind of young to have a stitch in his side after a few rounds with these kids, but even he has his limits. Lisa comes to bring him a bottle of ice-cold water, which he appreciates. He’s tempted to dump it over his head like he does after successfully neutralizing a fire. It gets literally hot as hell under that helmet and mask and all his gear underneath.

“Need an iron lung?” Lisa teases.

“Toss in a new pair of knees, thanks,” he wheezes. He downs half the water bottle in one go, but he smiles at seeing his son keep running around with his friends. He’s just got that manic kid energy that goes on for days. But Robbie’s also smart; like Dean, he likes taking things apart and putting them back together in new and ingenious ways.

Dean hopes his son likes the new model car set that’s waiting for him on the picnic table full of presents. In fact, he’s still surprised that you didn’t go with the race car theme he suggested for the party, but apparently, Robbie’s more into dinosaurs now. Dean wishes he knew that before he bought the model car set.

He looks over and catches sight of you and Benny wrapped up in each other. He has his arm around your waist while you fiddle with something, but the way you lean over and whisper near his ear elicits a smile on Benny’s face.

Dean’s good mood diminishes.

“Well, don’t they seem cozy,” he mutters.

Lisa arches a manicured brow. “Yeah, pretty sure he’s getting ready to propose.”

That earns Dean’s attention, his head swiveling back to her in surprise.

“Really?” he asks. “Who told you that?”

“His sister,” she replies. “Meg’s in my intermediate class, remember?”

Dean nods, sipping at his water, even though he’s a bit absent in the eyes. Lisa watches him shrewdly.

“Why do you seem upset about it?” she asks. “Benny’s your friend.”

“I know,” Dean says. He doesn’t need that reminder, or the guilty twinge. It’s not like he’s done anything wrong.

“And she seems happy,” Lisa points out. “Don’t you want the mother of your kid to be with a good man who treats her right?”

He nods, trying to hide his growing annoyance. “‘Course I do. I just…I don’t know. I still don’t see them together, I guess.”

“Well, they’ve been together for like, two years.”

Again, Dean nods his acknowledgement. It’s hard for him to believe that so much time has passed already. He honestly didn’t think you and Benny would be together this long. He’d always felt a little uncomfortable with one of his best friends dating you, but you’d seemed happy about it, so he didn’t discourage it. But he’d never been very supportive, either. At least, not about your relationship.

Lisa sighs and grabs his arm, pulling him aside before he can rejoin the party.

“Listen, we need to talk about something,” she says.

Dean restrains a tired groan. “Can this wait ‘til later?”

“I think we should do this now,” she says. A hallmark Lisa-ism. She’s opinionated and strong-willed, something Dean’s always respected about her. Sometimes though, the timing is damn irritating. He doesn’t want to get into another argument with his girlfriend in public, especially not at his son’s birthday party.

“Speaking of commitment,” she says with a sigh. “I think it’s fair to say that we’ve been on a five-year rollercoaster, you and I. You know why that is?”

“I’m sure you’re gonna tell me,” Dean says, crossing his arms.

“It’s because you’re spread too thin,” she says. “Between the firehouse, construction jobs on the side…not to mention other things.”

“What? What’re you talking about?”

Lisa’s lips purse, before she pointedly gestures over at you with her eyes. “Well, for example. You’re still going to her place after your next shift to fix her fridge, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, should be pretty simple. I’ve just gotta swing by the hardware store and grab this specialty tool I ordered—”

“Dean,” Lisa deadpans. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I’m talking about.”

She heaves a deep breath, running her fingers through her long brown hair.

“I get that navigating this situation hasn’t been easy for you,” she says. “It hasn’t exactly been easy for me either, but look.”

Lisa takes his hands in hers, uncrossing his arms. “I want to get married someday. I want kids too. And I want that kind of life with you…I’m just not sure you want it with me.”

Dean expels a heavy sigh. “Lis—”

“Don’t answer me right now,” she says, but she levels him with a serious look. “You need to decide though, Dean. Five years is long enough. You should know by now if you want to be with me.”

After letting go of his hands, she softens the edges of her words with a gentle kiss on his cheek. Then she turns to join the group now gathered around the picnic table where the food is, all the kids cheering for pizza and cake.

After the party, Sam, Eileen, Lisa, and Benny pack up their cars and yours with the leftover food, party supplies, and presents. Dean helps you clean up the trash, all while keeping an eye on Robbie getting out the last of his sugar-high on the playground swing.

You shake your head tiredly, if with a fond smile. “That kid’s gonna be up all night hype on that radioactive cake.”

Dean chuckles. “You want me to take him tonight?”

“It’s okay. I think he’s going to want to play with his toys,” you reply.

“Well, he could just as easily do that at my place,” he reasons.

You consider it, but you shake your head. “Yeah, but we got him the bike. He’s probably gonna want to try it out for a few minutes before we get him cleaned up.”

“By ‘we,’ you mean you and Benny,” Dean says, his tone becoming surly. “And about that. Don’t you think a bike is something you should run by me? That’s typically a ‘dad’ kind of gift.”

You pause what you’re doing at the sound of his tone. Your brows knit together.

“Sorry, but I feel like a bike isn’t exclusively a dad thing,” you say.

“My dad got me my first bike,” Dean replies. “Spent a whole three days teaching me how to ride.”

You take a minute to think about it. You understand where Dean’s coming from, so you nod.

“Okay, I get it. You want to be there to help teach Robbie? I’m sure he’d love that.” 

Dean tosses a wadded-up ball of frosting-covered napkins and stops, letting his hands fall to his sides in frustration. He draws closer and helps you untie the balloons from the picnic table.

“Yeah, I do, but that’s not the point,” he says. “Why can’t I take him home tonight?”

You blink up at him in confusion. “Well, like I said. The bike—”

“That I should’ve gotten for him,” he snaps. “Which, let me guess, Benny picked out. Right?”

You frown at him in earnest now. “Dean, why are you getting so upset about it? It’s just a bike.”

“Well you know what, it’s not! And it’s not just the damn bike either.” He swipes a hand over his face in annoyance, a telltale sign you’ve come to read well on the man. “Look, I’m missing too much shit, all right? Like, like the dinosaur thing! And the fact that I only get him on the weekends.”

You turn toward him, trying to put a cap on your own annoyance. This isn’t the first time you two have had a conversation like this. 

“We’ve gone over this before, Dean. Your schedule at the firehouse is just too unpredictable,” you say. “Robbie needs as much stability as possible between us. But…okay, if you want to take him tonight, that’s fine. We can bring the bike over to your place and show it to him there.”

You’re trying to be as reasonable as possible, and Dean knows that. Still, anger prickles just under his skin, and he can’t help but push his luck.

“You still should’ve asked be before you got the bike in the first place,” he argues.

Your brows raise high. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“Look, it’s not like we bought him a Honda Civic. Honestly, Dean, why are you picking a fight with me right now?” you ask. “Did you and Lisa get into it again or something?”

Dean looks away and crosses his arms, giving you all the confirmation you need.

“Yeah, that’s right,” you nod. “I saw you two over there on the playground, looked pretty heated. But do me a favor. Don’t come at me with that energy, because I’m too damn tired of it!”

When you walk away from him, Dean can’t help but stare after you. He knows he fucked that up, just as he knows that you don’t deserve him snapping at you. He’s just too irritated to admit it.

For the entire week that follows, Dean finds himself distracted. He sticks to his word and helps Benny teach his son how to ride a bike in between their shifts at the firehouse, but Dean comes home each night feeling even more frustrated and drained than before. It’s too much, knowing Benny’s slowly but surely carving out a father-figure role in Robbie’s life.

These thoughts follow Dean to work, even while he climbs up the firetruck ladder in the rain. It’s parallel to a busted utility pole that still sparks with electricity, even in this torrential downpour. His task is to get up to the top and grab a large branch that’s tangled in the lines.

Rung after rung, he climbs. His safety mask protects his eyes from the rain, but he wishes they had some mini windshield wipers to keep his vision clear of the droplets pelting him in the face.

He also can’t help thinking of you. If Lisa’s right, then Benny’s about to become a more permanent fixture in Robbie’s life, and yours. 

Okay fine. It’s not like Dean expected you to be single forever, but did you really have to get with one of his best friends? Does it really have to be Benny, who seems so natural with Robbie, and more patient than Dean, and more of a support to you and Robbie than Dean can ever be?

And then there’s Lisa’s little ultimatum. He understands why she’s frustrated with him. Honestly, he’s surprised she’s stuck around this long. He knows she’s not going to wait too much longer for him to get his act together. For him to decide, as she put it.

It’s not that he’s not sure about her, it’s just that…

Just that what? he wonders.

He manages to grab the wily tree branch and maneuver it out of the power lines. 

He just doesn’t realize that his glove doesn’t have quite enough friction on the metal side panel of the ladder. Not only does his hand slip, but he’s forced to let go of the branch while he loses his balance. The branch falls to the sidewalk, far, far down below.

“Dean!” Benny shouts in alarm.

Luckily, the truck itself breaks Dean's fall.

Holding Robbie’s hand tightly in yours is the only thing keeping you steady as you lead him through the hospital. After the receptionist had checked you both in and gave you the room number, you hastened down the hall and up to the right floor. 2005.

Robbie breaks into tears when he finally gets to see his dad, laid up though he is in his hospital bed. Your throat tightens at the sight of Dean hooked up to all those monitors. He has his arm wrapped up and fitted into a sling. He has a thick piece of gauze taped to the side of his face, covering a wide, angry abrasion, but he seems to be resting easy on his back. The bed is at an incline, with most of the overhead lights turned off.

Robbie rushes to the bed before you can stop him. He hesitantly touches Dean’s non-injured right hand. “Daddy?”

“Robbie, wait,” you say, keeping your voice quiet. You quickly go over to the bedside and grab ahold of Robbie’s shoulders, but Dean takes a deep breath. His eyelids crack open.

“Hey, buddy,” he says, attempting a smile. His voice is rough and weak, but at least he’s awake.

Robbie’s lower lip wobbles as tears fill his eyes again.

“Come ‘ere,” Dean says, a little stronger. When he reaches out to his son, the kid hops up onto the bed and buries his face into his father’s chest. Dean holds him as securely as he can, soothing his hand over the boy’s hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“It’s okay, little man. ‘M okay,” he promises. Robbie nods, but he still continues to cry.

You can’t help but do the same. Tears slip down your cheeks without your consent. Dean beckons you over too, gesturing with his chin and a slight smile. You’re more tentative in the way you sit down at the edge of his bed. You run your fingers through Robbie’s light brown hair to help reassure him. Then, you meet Dean’s gaze and lay a hand on his good shoulder. You don’t know whether you’re steadying him, or yourself.

“How do you feel?” you ask. “The hospital called me. Benny told me what happened.”

The thought reminds you to text your boyfriend. You hadn’t had a chance to tell him you made it here yet. He must be downstairs grabbing a bite to eat, because he’s the one who rode with Dean in the ambulance and has been with him for a while.

“The hospital called you?” Dean notes in slight confusion.

“Eileen told me that Sam is in court right now, so I must’ve been next on the list,” you say. He also must have taken Lisa off his emergency list the last time they broke up for almost a month. He probably forgot to update it again.

You reach out a hand to almost touch the bandage by his temple. Instead, you hesitantly hold the side of his face to see the area better. Dean closes his eyes for a moment. You can see he’s in pain. Your hand lingers on his cheek, but you know, deep down, that it shouldn’t.

Dean doesn’t stop you though. He lets out a deep breath, savoring how nice the gentle touch feels when the rest of his body feels battered to hell.

“Fell off the ladder. Was a stupid rookie move,” he explains, but when he sees that look on your face, he tries to inject a little more joking into a smile. “S’ not so bad.”

“You could’ve broken your head as well as your arm,” you say, more sharply than you mean to.

Robbie whimpers and clings tighter to Dean. You cover your mouth, as if you can trap the words back inside. You don’t want to upset your son more than he already is, so you fall silent. Another tear works its way down your cheek, but you brush it away. Dean shakes his head.

“Hey, I’m okay,” he reassures you too. He manages to smile as he pats Robbie’s back. “Right, buddy?”

The boy’s head perks up. His eyes are still shiny, but he smiles too. He’s not one to speak when he’s upset though, so he just curls up against Dean’s chest and hangs onto him. Dean rests his good arm snugly around him.

You smile and stroke Robbie’s back. Though your hand lowers, resting on Dean’s hand. You take in a deep breath to calm yourself down. Dean’s fingers curl around yours, prompting you to glance up into his eyes. The way he’s watching you is soft, grateful.

Until the door creaks open. Benny steps in with a subtle clearing of his throat. You jolt internally, and you slip your hand away from Dean’s. You offer your boyfriend a wan smile.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hey, baby.” He comes over and greets you with a kiss to the side of your head. He smiles at your son gently. “The gang’s all here.”

“Oh! Let me call Sam, and Lisa too. They still don’t know what’s going on,” you say. You get up from the bed to grab your phone out of your purse. Dean nods in agreement and thanks you, while Robbie plays with his dad's long fingers.

“How you holdin’ up, brother?” Benny asks, after you step out of the room. He settles into the chair near the foot of the bed.

“Ah, you know me. I’m like a cat. Always stick the landing,” Dean says, smiling lazily. The morphine is starting to kick in again.

Benny smirks. “Maybe you do got nine lives, the amount of close calls you like gettin’ yourself into.”

Dean’s good humor fades. He considers his son in his arms, and he shakes his head.

“Yeah, well, no more,” he says. He got a taste of what it would be like to leave his boy behind, and he’s not fucking doing it. He’s not leaving you to raise Robbie by yourself. The mere idea tears a new hole in his heart.

His eyes sting just enough that he has to blink a bit harder, swallowing past a thick well of emotion in his throat. He presses another kiss to the top of Robbie’s head. Then, Dean meets Benny’s gaze.

“Thank you,” he says, and he means it.

Benny nods.

“You got it, brother.”

When Lisa steps off the hospital elevator on the second floor, you happen to be coming out of the bathroom to fix your racoon eyes. You’ve been crying way too much. You attempt to greet Lisa with something reassuring, but she cuts you off. 

“What happened, and why didn’t the hospital call me directly?” she asks.

Her tone is cutting, and it takes you aback.

“Well, Sam and I were listed as his emergency contacts—”

“Why?” she snaps. “You’re not his wife or his girlfriend. I should’ve been listed.”

Jesus Christ. At this point, you can’t help it. You’re too tired and emotionally drained to lasso in your temper with this woman.

“Maybe if you and Dean stayed together longer than five minutes at a time, he’d put you back on the short list,” you sling back. “But the truth is, you’ve never just…been there for Dean. Not without demanding something from him.”

Lisa scoffs incredulously. “Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you. You’re the reason he can’t commit to anything. You think your little world is the only one that matters, and you call Dean for any little thing! What, don’t you have a boyfriend to help fix your goddamn sink?” 

You open your mouth to retort, but you pause as her words seep into your mind. She might actually have a small point about that one. You realize then just how often you’ve been asking Dean for his help, not just with your apartment, but with your car, and other logistical things that usually have to with Robbie. Dean���s just such a good handyman, and you thought he genuinely liked being able to help…even though Benny did mention once or twice that he’d be just as happy to help you.

“Lisa, this is a lot more than a leaky sink. I just wanted to get here with Robbie and make sure Dean was okay,” you try to explain.

“Good. I’m glad his son was the first person Dean got to see when he woke up,” Lisa says. “But I should’ve been the second.”

She brushes past you before you can even think of what to say. You’re in a state of shock, feeling guilty, incensed, and on the verge of tears all at once.

A familiar voice calls your name, and you turn to Benny just as those tears begin to fall. He gathers you up into his arms and holds you there in the middle of the hallway.

“She shouldn’t talk to you like that, no matter how high tensions are today. I’ll talk to Dean,” Benny says. You shake your head and bury your face in his chest, clenching your fingers in his red flannel shirt. 

“No, it’s okay,” you reply, despite the sob that shudders through you. You’ve lost the will to fight.

Benny shakes his head and presses a kiss to your forehead. “It ain’t okay, baby.”

“Please, don’t bother Dean with this. Especially not right now,” you say. You take a moment to wipe your eyes and get ahold of yourself. “I’m gonna go get Robbie so Dean can rest.”

You can’t shake the feeling that Lisa is right. You do rely on Dean too much. You just don’t want to think about why that is.

Dean makes a full recovery after a few months. He never does hear about what happened in that hallway, but he knows that things need to change. 

He decides to dig out his mom’s engagement ring from a locked box of his parents’ keepsakes, though he’s still waiting on the right time for it. He and Lisa start looking at houses though, for real this time. She hires a realtor and everything. 

He’s making a firm decision, and he thinks it’s the right one. He wants to be there for his son, but he doesn’t want to keep “spreading himself too thin.” He has to figure out how to set some roots, and some boundaries with you while he’s at it. He’ll just have to come to terms with the idea that he won’t get to be there for everything. 

He has to be okay with the fact that you’ll probably marry Benny. You’ll keep making him cookies and cakes, giving him your smile and your time and your body. And Robbie will probably think of Benny as more of a father than his own Weekend Dad. 

Meanwhile, you’ve spent the past few months keeping yourself in check as well. You’ve stopped calling Dean for help whenever something breaks down in your old-ass apartment. You try to keep your conversations less about life and troubles and whatever funny thing your students did that day in class, and more focused on Robbie–strictly about his schedule and his needs.

It’s kind of painful, if you’re honest with yourself. Sam will always be one of your closest friends from college, but in the past five years, Dean has truly become your best friend. Because you’ve told him things. The things that come from sharing a child with someone, like Sunday dinners with your parents, flipping through old yearbooks and childhood pictures—and the details of day-to-day schedules and little stupid things that happen in moments between moments.

Dean also knows the deep cuts. Like being pregnant and scared and breaking down crying on the side of the road. Like sharing the deepest well of your insecurities with someone who knows your body intimately, even if just for one amazing night...a night you’ve never quite been able to put out of your mind.

However, you know that things can’t stay the same. From now on, he just needs to be your son’s father. Nothing more, nothing less. 

So today, on a crisp April 24th, you’re getting ready for a highly anticipated evening with your boyfriend. Robbie is sleeping over your parents’ house, and Benny has been planning something special for your third-year anniversary. 

You slip into your new dress, a deep emerald green, with a pair of black heels you’ve rarely worn since before you got pregnant. Come to think of it, you were wearing these the night of Sam and Eileen’s bachelor-bachelorette party. The night you…well, the night Robbie was conceived. 

You shake your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. You even consider changing. 

You’re being silly, you shake your head. They’re just shoes. 

And yet. Thinking of that time so long ago, it reminds you of a recent Sunday dinner at your parents’ house.

Two Months Ago...

Your parents live modestly, but comfortably in rural Kansas. Their ranch-style home boasts a creek in the backyard, where your dad is teaching your son how to catch minnows. Your mom is inside working on an apple pie, knowing it’s both Dean’s and Robbie’s favorite.

You and Dean have kept close to the house under the shade, sitting on a bench made more comfortable by a pair of old polyester cushions with red, faded flowers.

“How much longer do you have to wear that?” you ask Dean. He glances down at his cast-covered left arm.

“Doc says it’s about ready to come off,” he says.

You nod, allowing yourself a certain smile. “How bad are you itching to grab my mom’s garden shears and cut it off right here?”

“Woman, don’t tempt me,” he says, his lips twitching at a grin. “I’ve been eying those overgrown scissors for the past half hour.”

You laugh and take another sip of your glass. Yours holds sweet tea, while Dean’s has some of your dad’s favorite whiskey. You both raise your heads when Robbie yells across the backyard.

“I caught a minnow!”

“Good job, buddy,” Dean grins. “See if you can catch a marlin!”

“A marlin?” Robbie questions.

“Yeah, like that orange guy in Finding Nemo,” Dean calls back.

Your dad gives Dean the same wry look you do, though yours is tinged with more amusement.

“Dean, that’s a clown fish,” you say. “He’s not gonna find that in the creek.”

“Aw, shit,” he tries to quiet his laugh. “Ah well, should keep him occupied for another twenty minutes.”

You bite your lip to stifle your laughter as well. Though something else occurs to you the longer you watch your son play and explore in the creek. Your dad has the patience of a saint as he puts yet another bait worm on the hook for the kid.

“He’s starting to ask questions, you know,” you tell Dean, in a quieter voice. “‘Why aren’t you and Daddy married? Why can’t we all live together?’”

Dean's brows raise. His good humor dims when he looks over at you.

“What do you tell him?” he asks.

You take in a deep breath, considering your words now as carefully as you did with your son.

“That we care about each other a lot, as friends,” you say, meeting Dean’s eyes. “And we love Robbie very much. Nothing’s going to change that, even if you and I aren’t together like a normal mom and dad.”

Saying it like that makes your heart twinge, for more than one reason. The way Dean’s mouth twitches into a rueful smile just makes it worse, but you try your best to ignore it.

“I never thought about having to explain it to him,” he says, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

It’s that anxious tell of his again. You notice every time he does it.

“I have,” you admit. “I just didn’t know for sure what I was going to say until it was coming out of my mouth.”

Dean smirks a little. “Yeah, that sounds like you.”

You roll your eyes and sip your drink, crossing your arms as well. Dean considers you then, looking at you in a way that makes you raise a brow in question.

“What?” you ask.

“Nothing, it’s just…” He sits back against the bench and rubs his hands down his jean-clad thighs. “For the record, I did try to ask you out once.”

“What?” you scoff incredulously. “No, you’ve been with Lisa since the beginning.”

“Before Lisa,” Dean says.

He isn’t joking. He isn’t teasing. He’s serious as he stares back at you with those green eyes of his. Your brows furrow as you wrack your brain. Did he drunkenly leave you a voicemail on one of those “off again” episodes between him and Lisa? No. You know you’d remember something like that.

“It was a few weeks after the bachelor party,” Dean says. “I called you up, remember?”

Your eyes widen. Finally, that jogs your memory.

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.” And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition.

You have to laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Dean, you did not ask me out,” you say. “You wanted to hook up. There’s a distinct difference.”

Dean frowns at you. “No, I was. I invited you over—”

“For essentially some Netflix and chill,” you retort.

“Hey, I offered to make you dinner,” he argues. “I didn’t say anything about hooking up.”

You pause at that. His earnest denial makes you actually think back to what you remember about that conversation on the phone.

“So I just thought maybe you and I could do something again. Maybe you wanna come over my place this time.” And there it is. You deflate at his words, shoulders sagging. The "convenient booty call" proposition. “I could make us some burgers, toss in a couple of beers and a movie night,” he adds.

You cover your lips with your fingers as you begin to realize…

“That was you asking me out?” you ask incredulously.

Dean’s brows furrow and he throws his hands up. “What? Who doesn’t like a little movie night?”

“Dean,” you huff another laugh. “You could’ve made it sound more like a date.”

“Well, ‘scuse me. Sorry I couldn’t afford the Ritz at the time,” he grumbles.

You sigh. “That’s not what I meant.”

The more you think about it, the more you just shake your head at yourself. Why did you have to overthink it, like you do everything?

“Wow,” you say, softer and more contrite. “I honestly never thought…”

“Yeah,” he says. He shifts his gaze out ahead.

You glance over at him, now more unsure of yourself. He wouldn’t have any regrets, you think. He has Lisa. As much as they go at it, they always inevitably get back together. And now you know they hired a realtor. They’re about to start making solid steps forward.

But Dean surprises you with another question.

“Do you think if…”

He doesn’t finish it, but you think you know what he’s asking. You hesitate, your fingers flexing around your glass that beads with condensation. You set the glass down beside you. 

Just as you open your mouth to reply—

“All right, pie is cooling and dinner is served!” your mom calls out. Her head pokes out of the sliding glass door to the backyard. You offer a smile, trying to hide how you jolted in your seat.

“Okay, thanks, Mom,” you nod.

You turn back to Dean, who also hesitates. His eyes meet yours, but all too soon, he locks the moment away.

Bracing his hands on his knees, he rocks to his feet and goes out to get Robbie and help your dad bring in the fishing gear.

You grab Dean’s whiskey along with your tea on your way back inside the house. You consider the amber liquid disturbed in his glass, and you down the rest yourself. The burn down your throat is a good distraction. If he asks about it, you’ll say you got the glasses confused.

You know you’ll have to leave that conversation unfinished at the foot of the bench.

Now...

Benny comes by your apartment and helps you into the passenger side of his pickup truck, like the gentleman he is. He takes you to a nice restaurant in downtown, much nicer than the usual sports bar or kid-friendly restaurant. You're very much looking forward to eating at a restaurant that doesn't feature chicken fingers or "kiddie" corn dogs.

“This is gonna be really expensive,” you whisper to him, after he hands his keys over to the valet. 

Benny squeezes your hand in his, leaning over to kiss your temple. 

“Don’t you worry about that. We both deserve a night out.” His blue eyes gleam with amusement. However, his gaze gentles, becoming more sincere. “You work hard, carin’ for everybody around you. How about you let me take care of you for once.”

Your eyes begin to water, your throat constricting with emotion. You rub his arm gratefully.

“Thank you,” you say. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that.” 

It’s always easy with Benny. Nice and simple and easy. Nice, supportive, and considerate.

Nice and safe.

That thought follows you while you and Benny walk into to the restaurant. He’s reserved great seats in the back corner, overlooking a beautiful courtyard. It’s decorated with hydrangeas and light wood dining tables, all framed with a rod iron archway as the sun begins to set just so. After holding your chair out for you before he sits himself, Benny orders a bottle of champagne to kick things off.

He turns to you with a somewhat nervous look in his eyes, like he's steeling himself. It’s uncharacteristic of Benny, who’s always so calm and charming and sure of himself. It makes a zing of anticipation run down your spine, and…a dash of fear. You don’t know why, and you don’t know how to beat the feeling down as you fidget in your seat.

He subtly clears his throat, then takes your hand. “Sweetheart, I know I’m not all that good at the words you’re supposed to say. But I can say that the past three years with you and Robbie, it’s come to mean the world to me.”

Your smile softens. He brushes his thumb over the back of your hand, encouraged by your reaction.

“So I think it’s time I made it clear where I stand, and how much I want to be the man in your life,” he says.

Your eyes begin to widen in shock, but not for the reason he thinks.

“Dean,” you gasp.

Benny’s expression slackens. “What?”

You point over his shoulder, and Benny turns to follow your line of vision. Dean and Lisa have just walked into the restaurant. They notice you pointing their way, and they both pause in surprise as well. Lisa is beautiful as usual in a slinky black dress, completely backless (something you feel you could never pull off, unless you had an invisible bra to keep the girls perked up).

Dean is…well, you’ve very rarely seen him in a suit, but charcoal gray works for him. The open collar and white buttoned-down works for him, as do the three top buttons he’s left undone, showing a tantalizing strip of tanned skin. He stares back at you like he forgot you live in the same time zone, let alone the same zip code.

“Uh, hey!” he casts out an awkward wave, before he makes his way over to you and Benny. Lisa is less than enthused.

“We shouldn’t interrupt their night,” you catch her whisper to him, but Dean doesn’t seem to hear her.

“What’s up, party people! Of all the gin joints in all the world, huh?” Dean says, a little too loudly when he thumps Benny on the back. Benny grunts, giving a bit of a forced chuckle.

“Dean,” he greets. “I think I told you about this particular gin joint. Good to see you can actually clean up once in a while.”

“Ah, you know what, this monkey suit ain’t too bad,” Dean says, pulling at his collar.

You smirk in amusement. “Yeah, I remember how much you complained about wearing a simple tie for Robbie’s Christmas pageant.”

He smirks down at you. “Hey, ties still might not be my thing, but nothing wrong with a sharp collar.”

He pops his for emphasis. You don’t know why it makes you laugh, but it does. Maybe it’s just his face and the silly, endearing expression he makes when he pouts his lips in a “blue steel.”

“So, is this just a night out, or you guys celebrating something special?” Dean asks, gesturing at the champagne bottle and your full glasses of bubbly.

Benny gives his friend a certain look. “Yeah, as a matter of fact. Today’s three years.”

He takes your hand and kisses your knuckles. You smile back at him, though you’re a bit self-conscious at the way both he and Dean, and even Lisa have their attention on you.

“We should let you guys get back to it then,” Lisa says.

Honestly, it’s a relief. You and Benny nod, wishing them a goodnight.

For some reason, you notice how Dean’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. But he goes with Lisa, laying a hand on the small of her back. You force yourself to tear your eyes away from them and refocus on Benny. You take up your champagne glass and raise it in offering.

“All right, where were we?” you ask, if with a nervous trill in your belly.

Benny smiles. He takes up his glass and clinks it with yours.

Lisa nearly sighs. She and Dean are back in line at the front of the restaurant, waiting to be seated. The second time she catches Dean glancing over at the table where you and Benny sit, she shakes her head and digs into her purse for the valet card. She’s done with this.

“I think maybe we should go to a different restaurant,” she says.

That finally earns Dean’s attention, mostly confused. “What, why?”

She just gives him a long look.

He realizes that whatever her reasons are, it’s easier to just give in than to fight her on it. He’s learning when to pick his battles. Or is he just giving up?

Also, if tonight’s “the night” he thinks it is for you and Benny, maybe he doesn’t want to stick around after all. Three years, huh?

“All right, fine. Let’s go,” he agrees.

Dean and Lisa wait for the valet to bring the Impala around. The minute he gets behind the wheel and turns the key into the ignition, she changes her mind.

“Look, let’s just go home,” she says. “I don’t really feel like eating out anymore.”

Dean’s brows raise. “What? Aw, come on. We’re already dressed and everything. You look great, Lis. Just tell me where you wanna eat.”

Lisa remains firm, with a small shake of her head. “Please, Dean, just take me home.”

After a moment of indecision, Dean sighs. He revs the ignition and does as she says.

It’s only a fifteen-minute drive back to their apartment, but in that stifling silence, it seems to drag on for a small eternity. He glances at her a couple of times. Lisa has her arms crossed as she stares out the window, watching the other restaurants and mom-and-pops shops and forest trees and old houses of Lebanon, Kansas go by.

Dean counts it a blessing when they’re finally home. He walks up the few short steps up to their ground-floor apartment and unlocks the door. He flicks on the lights inside, and she breezes past him to toss her purse onto the couch.

Dean takes off his blazer and begins to undo the buttons on his cuffs. He watches her all the while, knowing that a storm is brewing. She shucks off her heels and slowly paces the living room on bare feet, like her whirling thoughts are fueling every step.

“All right, I give. What’s going on?” Dean asks. “What’d I do this time?”

She pauses, with her back turned to him.

Shit, he thinks. He shouldn’t have said it like that.

He prepares for the inevitable blow up, but it never comes. Lisa just heaves a sigh. Slowly she turns, and Dean’s shocked and dismayed to see the tears welling up in her deep brown eyes. He makes quick strides toward her, but she raises a hand to keep him at bay.

“Dean, when you picture yourself happy, truly happy,” she says. “Is it with me? Can you imagine yourself marrying me? Buying the house, having kids, growing old together?”

If Dean was thrown for a loop before, he’s even more stunned by her question. “Lis…”

“Just be honest, for once,” she pleads. Her tears begin to brim over, but she blinks, somehow keeping them at bay.

It’s a bit too long before Dean realizes that he can’t give her an answer. At least, not the one he knows she wants to hear.

When he thinks of that picture in his mind, of course he sees his son. But the only other person Dean can imagine there beside him is…

“I…” He wills his mouth to work, but nothing else comes out.

The only face he can conjure is yours. Your eyes are warm and welcoming, your smile as bright and contagious as your laugh.

The only voice he can hear is yours, gentle and strong at the same time.

The only one he can see is you.

He knows the shampoo you use and the perfume you like to wear, how the sweet and floral scents mix together and linger in your hair and on your skin.

Even now he remembers the contours of your body, and how it could fit so well against his. He knows that you used to try and hide your shape under loose, baggy shirts and cargo pants that did nothing for you. He knows how much courage it took you to wear that red dress to his brother’s party, because you told him once, at one of those Sunday dinners at your parents’ house.

Come to think of it, there’s not a whole lot that Dean doesn’t know about you, except maybe what you see when you look at him.

“You love her,” Lisa finishes for him. “I think you always have.”

Dean’s throat tightens. Somehow he swallows anyway, and he shakes his head. 

“Lisa, I loved you.”

“Maybe you did, in your own way,” she says, laughing a little through her tears as she wipes them away. “But you already have a family, Dean. Go fight for it.” 

Dean doesn’t know what to say, but he knows what he can do.

He goes to her and kisses her cheek. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says. 

Lisa merely nods, wiping her face dry. She watches Dean Winchester walk out of her apartment, and out of her life for good this time. 

Dean calls your cell, but it goes to voicemail. He drives all the way back to the restaurant and doesn’t find you or Benny there. 

Dean realizes that what he’s doing, what he plans to do, is not fucking cool. He wouldn’t blame you or even Benny for being severely pissed when Dean shows up. He also knows that he can’t let another day pass where he keeps lying to you, and himself. 

He eventually finds you at home. What’s weird is that Benny’s truck isn’t in the driveway—just your car. He knocks on your door, and he waits.

He unconsciously holds his breath while he waits in that terrible existence of limbo. However, his heart thrums back to life when he hears your footsteps drawing closer to the door. Anticipation, excitement, dread, it all roils together inside him like a bad cocktail as the door swings open.

And he’s once again rendered a bit breathless at the sight of you in that dress. The color alone appeals to him, let alone the way it accentuates your every curve, from full breasts to the swell of your hips, the softer slope of your thighs, and bare toes painted. You’re fucking delectable, every curve, and a temptation without you even meaning to be. 

You’re just…you’re still so goddamn beautiful, like the night he first saw you. Even now, he can almost feel the give of your thighs under his hands, his fingers pressed to supple flesh. 

But then he’s drawn to your face, and your wide eyes full of surprise. Your mascara is a bit smudged though. Your eyes are red too, like you’ve been crying. His brows furrow in concern.

“Dean, what’re you doing here?” you ask.

“I need to talk to you, but uh…did something happen?” he asks. “You okay?”

You’re reluctant to tell him. Did Benny say something to upset you? Or was it something he did?

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say.

Instinctively, Dean knows it’s a lie.

“This isn’t a good time though,” you say, after clearing your throat. “Can we do this tomorrow, maybe?”

Dean leans a hand on the doorframe.

“Please, it’s important,” he says. His eyes implore you harder than his words. Please.

That does it. A sigh passes through your lips, but you let him in. He knows Robbie is with your parents for the night, which actually makes this easier.

Once he steps inside the apartment, Dean does notice that your bedroom door is open. Half the drawers to your dresser are open too, and empty. Certain frames that used to be on your coffee table are no longer there, like the one of you, Benny, and Robbie on a camping trip. 

“You want some coffee, or soda?” you ask. 

Dean declines and grasps your arm before you can busy yourself into “hostess” mode. He leads you to the couch, where you both sit down together.

“What happened tonight?” he asks. “Where’s Benny?”

Your lower lip wobbles, the beginning of your telltale cry face. Dean knows his son gets it from you, and it always breaks his heart. He squeezes your arm gently, trying to ground you.

“Benny proposed to me tonight,” you confess, taking in a sharp breath. “He proposed, and I couldn’t give him an answer.” 

You shake your head as the tears sting hot in your eyes. 

“He got so upset, he just—he left!” You throw your hands up. “But honestly, I don’t blame him.”

Dean tries to comfort you as you try and fail to wipe at your face. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, cupping your cheek to brush the tears away himself. 

“Why couldn’t you answer him?” he asks. 

You look up at Dean, and you finally notice the shine of hope in his eyes. Dean touches your cheek more tenderly. 

“Does it mean I have a chance here?” he asks.

Despite what your eyes tell you, you still gape at him in shock. “What? But…what about Lisa?”

“It’s over. For good this time,” Dean shakes his head. “I realized what I wanted for my life, and where my heart is…”

And he chuckles weakly. “Truth is, you’ve had it the whole time, sweetheart.”

You begin to crumble all over again. You pull away from him and his touch, because you can’t believe it. You cover your face with your hands, sniffling as you try to make sense of his words, his touch, and the warm flutter threatening to brim happiness in your heart.

“God, Dean. You can't just..."

"I mean it," he insists.

You're still reluctant to take him seriously...no matter how much you want to. It's a conflicting realization that hurts, and makes you feel stupid for taking so long to figure it out, and makes you hate yourself for hoping his words are true.

"Come the morning, you’re going to change your mind,” you reason, without looking at him. “Like you’ve done with Lisa a thousand times.”

“No,” Dean says firmly. He shifts closer and prompts you to look at him, really look at him.

“Not about this, and you know it,” he says, catching and holding your gaze. “That’s why you couldn’t say yes to Benny. Because you know what we’ve got. It’s the real deal.”

You still look uncertain, even though you can’t bring yourself to pull away this time. Dean has always had this way of looking into the very depths of you, like he can actually see every thought as it passes through your mind.  

“I should’ve said yes,” you say. “I can rely on Benny. I know he would stay by my side, and…and I know he won’t hurt me.”

Not like I’ve just hurt him, you think. Guilt still pricks at your heart. The last thing you ever wanted to do was lead him on, and yet, that’s what you’d done, wasn’t it? You thought you had loved him. You’re sure that you did, but maybe it just wasn’t the kind of love that could reach down deep and grab you, set your blood on fire, and make you ache when the burn was gone.

That spark licks across your skin when Dean takes your hands.  

“What if I want to be that guy for you,” he says.

You allow yourself to look at him. Really look at him.

You know Dean. When he gets an idea in his head, it inhabits every bone and shred of muscle in his body. There’s no mistaking his resolve, or the steady grip of his hands over yours.

“If you let me, I’ll stay. I won’t leave you,” he says. In his eyes, there’s a firm promise. “I can be the guy you rely on. The man you can trust. The man who’s gonna love you, come whatever. Because now I know what it means. I know how it feels.”

You bite your lower lip against the smile that wants to surface.

“Are you sure?” you ask.

Dean smiles for you. “If you wanna know the truth, I’m pretty sure I’ve been loving you since the day I heard Robbie’s heartbeat for the first time.” 

Your tears flow harder at that. A shaky breath escapes you, though it does nothing to steady you. Dean strokes your cheek gently with his thumb. 

“Please, just give me this one chance,” he asks. Begs, really. 

He doesn’t have to though. You nod, just a little. 

“Okay,” you agree. “Let’s try.”

Dean's smile spreads slow, but warm across his face. It’s your favorite kind, the kind that crinkles his eyes. 

He leans in and claims your lips with his own. The passion of it is familiar, but you don't think it’s the same as five years ago. Now, there’s an underlying note of tenderness in his touch and each new way he tastes you deeper. He holds nothing back this time, and neither do you. 

Your fingers tangle in his shirt, and then in his hair as you moan into his mouth. “Dean.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he answers against your lips, though he doesn’t give you much room to keep talking.

You haven’t heard him call you sweetheart in a long time. You feel your heart knitting back together, stitch by stitch. Tears sting in your eyes anew, but you squeeze your eyes shut against them.

“I…”

You can’t even continue the breathless thought. You hold his face desperately between your hands, pressing your forehead to his for a moment as you both catch your breath. But this man is like the sweetest, most seductive vice. Now that you’ve gotten another hit, you can’t resist. You no longer want to.

His arms wrap around you more securely, and he leans in to lure you back into his kiss. His tongue breaches past your lips to curl along yours with tantalizing strokes. His hands slowly move down your back and along your waist.

“Mmm, missed the hell outta this,” he groans into your mouth. Your heart flutters again at the way he holds you, the way his big hands squeeze you and feel you.

You let him guide you down onto the sofa cushions. He slots himself between your bare thighs and runs his hand up familiar smooth skin, bunching the skirt of your dress higher as he goes. He aims to get himself reacquainted with every soft part of you that welcomes him back.

For once, the gates around your hearts swing free. 

Dean never imagined that his own son would hand him the ring he gives to his wife, but today, it just feels like symmetry. He grins and winks at Robbie.

“Thanks, buddy,” Dean says.

His son’s beaming grin is wide and toothy, but the boy takes his job very seriously and delivers the other ring to you. You smile brightly and caress his cheek after you take the shining, white gold band from him. It matches the thinner band that Dean has for you; it'll soon join the engagement ring that once belonged to his mother.

Robbie had liked Benny a lot, but he loves his dad. He’s probably the happiest person in the room to see his parents take each other’s hands in front of the minister. 

Benny is understandably absent in the chapel today. You had met with him after that night of your botched anniversary to apologize to him, and so had Dean. Benny understood. He’d admitted that in the back of his mind, he feared this might happen.

“I wouldn’t blame you for being angry with me,” you said to him. “You can even hate me if you want.” Benny gave you a wry, melancholy sort of smile. “Part of me’s still mad at you, I won’t lie…but there’s no use in it. Not even hating you.”

Even though Benny bowed out, carrying his hurt and his grief on those broad shoulders, letting you go meant letting go of a friend too. He put in his paperwork to transfer out of Firehouse 83.

As he’d told Dean himself that day, and in fact, the last words Benny said to him…

“There you go, Lieutenant. A spot’s just opened up.”

Dean didn’t want to get promoted this way. He felt guilty enough as it was, and not just for Benny leaving the firehouse. Benny recommended Dean to the Chief himself though, saying that if they were going to give someone a Lieutenant’s badge, it may as well be the guy who got a perfect score on his test, and had the natural leadership skills to boot.

To the end, Benny was a gentleman.

Now, Sam beckons his nephew over. Robbie quickly goes to his uncle’s side and puffs his little chest out as he stands proud behind his dad. 

Dean is able to take you in, your beautiful white dress, and everything about you that makes him smile…including the way you smile back at him.

Man and wife is all he hears. It’s all he needs to hear, before he’s pulling you closer by your newly anointed hand. He dips you for a thorough kiss in front of all your family and friends. 

You squeal in surprise, making Dean smile hard enough for his cheeks to hurt. Giggling hard enough to make you tremble, you raise a hand to caress his cheek. But you give him another real kiss after he guides you back up to your feet.

“I love you,” you whisper against his lips. The words are just for him to hear. Dean pulls back enough to see the truth shining in your eyes. Beautiful.

“Can’t help it, right?” he teases. 

You smile in amusement, but you grab his chin and shake it. 

“You got me,” you reply. “I really, really can’t.”

Your beaming smile softens. Even though the entire room is clapping and hooting and hollering in celebration, in that moment, all you really see is Dean. 

Here in his arms, you know that this is where you were meant to end up. From now on, it’s where you’re meant to be.

AN: From Lisa and Benny to Robbie and everything in between. Dean and the reader certainly aren't perfect in this, but what do you think about how their story unfolded? I truly hope you guys enjoy this one, because I've had so much fun with it. 🥰❤️❤️‍🔥

So please let me know what you thought! 😘

⋆˙⟡ Keep Reading: The Epilogue

"Shall I stay? Would it be a sin, if I can't help falling in love with you?"

Join My Patreon 🌟 Get early access to new stories, bonus content, and first looks at upcoming stories, send me requests, and more!

Series Masterlist

Dean Winchester Series List

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Dean Winchester Tag List (Part 1):

@luci-in-trenchcoats @lamentationsofalonelypotato @winchestergirl2 @deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @foxyjwls007 @mostlymarvelgirl @kaleldobrev

@globetrotter28 @midnightmadwoman @chevroletdeanwrites @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78

@waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse @twinkleinadiamondsky @my-stories-vault @0ccvltism

@rizlowwritessortof @k-slla @jackles010378 @alwaystiredandconfused @nancymcl

@this-is-me19 @spnwoman @illicithallways @pieandmonsters @deansbbyx

@mimaria420 @stoneyggirl2 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @cheynovak @jollyhunter

@deanwinchestersgirl87 @rachiem4-blog @leigh70 @aylacavebear @jessjad

@kmc1989 @siampie @rubyvhs @masked-lost-girl @spnbabe67

@deanbrainrotwritings @alwaystiredandconfused @supernotnatural2005 @redhoodieone

[vampz1re]

pairing: Idia x reader , Jade x reader, Floyd x reader, Epel x reader ( all one-sided )

cw: angst , hurt little comfort , rejection , reader is called yuu , reader is in-love with the character(s), reader is NOT yuu , yuu comforts reader, GN reader, Floyd is a bit mean , mischaracterization a bit.. Epels is more left to decide since I got a bit more happy after awhile...🫵

note: i'm in a lil bit of a bad mood so i'm making u guys also sad with angst!

word count: 1.1k

enjoy!

IDIA SHROUD —

It had started innocently enough , you had interacted with him a bit after his over-blot and even attended his club when Yuu was busy

After his overblot, you'd worried about him - everyone had, in their own way. But you'd stayed. Quietly. Consistently.

You brought snacks. Asked about his builds. Laughed at his dry, muttered jokes when no one else could hear them. And maybe - somewhere between the late-night strategy sessions and the way his eyes lit up when he talked about game lore , you’d fallen a little too hard.

So you confessed.

Right in the club room, when it was just the two of you and the flickering light from the monitors painted shadows across his face.

“I like you, Idia.”

The words hung in the air like a broken line of code. He didn’t even turn around.

Instead, his fingers paused over the keyboard, hovering like they didn’t know where to go.

“…E-Error,” he whispered, stuttering just a bit. “W-What did you just say?”

You hesitated a bit at his answer, before answering baxk just as firmly . “I said I like you. I mean - romantically.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

For a long moment, the only sound was the hum of the computers. Then, Idia exhaled. It wasn’t a relieved sigh. It was the kind of sound someone makes when they realize their worst fear just came true.

He turned in his chair slowly, hair dimming to a dull blue. His eyes didn’t quite meet yours.

“You… shouldn’t like me. I - I can't do that."

The words sliced cleanly through your chest.

There it was. The rejection. Clean. Final.

You stood there for a second, searching his face for something - regret, pain, second thoughts. Maybe they were all there, buried under layers of self-doubt and defense mechanisms. But none of them changed his answer.

You had left the room shortly after , rushing back to ramshackle , only to fall into Yuu's arms shortly after arriving as they were the only other friend you had trusted to see you this way.

JADE LEECH —

You had always liked the outdoors , which led you to joining the Mountain Lovers club , which had also led to you getting a bit close to Jade Leech.

You weren’t sure when casual conversations on winding trails turned into something more , but they had. Somewhere between pointing out moss species and stargazing by the lake , you’d started to feel something.

You had said one afternoon , as the two of you sat on a rock ledge overlooking the misty valley below. “I think - no , i do like you.”

He tilted his head slightly , eyes narrowing in that unreadable way he always did when he was intrigued.

“Hmm,” he murmured , “That is... unexpected. But fascinating.”

The silence stretched between you , only broken by the distant rustle of leaves in the breeze.

“Is that a problem?” you asked , heart beginning to pound as you galnced over at him for a split second .

For a moment , Jade said nothing. His eyes remained fixed on the horizon , expression impossible to read.

“Affection,” he finally said , “is a curious thing. And I... am not quite sure what I would do with yours.”

The words didn’t hurt immediately. They landed slowly , like rain soaking into your clothes before you realized you were cold.

There it was. Not quite rejection. Not quite acceptance. A careful , polite boundary.

You sat in silence beside him for a while longer , letting the wind pull at your sleeves , trying to figure out whether you had just lost something or uncovered a truth you weren’t ready for.

After that , the club went by with some awkward silence yet also just barely enough to where you managed to pull through until the end .

Your tears only fell when you reached ramshackle and Yuu had questioned how club was - given they knew of your plans to confess .

FLOYD LEECH —

Uyo didn’t know when the lines between ‘fun buddy’ and ‘crushing’ had blurred between your view on Floyd.

One day it was just teasing and laughter- wild grins and fast footsteps down the hallway.

And then suddenly , every time he smiled at you , your heart tripped over itself like it didn’t know how to keep up.

You told him on a quiet afternoon , the two of you sprawled out on the lounge couches , his head dangling off the side upside-down.

“Hey , Floyd,” you said , voice a little too soft.

He blinked at you lazily. “Hmm? What’s up , shrimpy shrimp?”

“I think I like you. Like... not just for fun.”

The words hung in the air , strange and fragile.

Floyd sat up slowly , expression unreadable for once.

“Like like me?” he asked , tone light—but his eyes weren’t laughing.

You nodded - already depely regretting this .

For a second , nothing. No grin. No teasing comeback.

“That’s dumb,” he said , voice flat, his eyebrows furrowed. “You’re not supposed to do that.”

It stung more than you thought it would. You opened your mouth , then closed it again.

“Why not?” you managed to ask.

He shrugged , looking away. “Cause if you like me , you can get hurt. People always do.”

There it was. Not anger. Not confusion. Just a wall.

You didn’t say anything else. Just sat there , hoping the sting would fade before he noticed the way your hands were shaking.

You didn't even make it out the lounge door before rushing back to your dorm, tears already threatening to roll ldonw your face .

EPEL FELMIER —

You weren’t sure when it happened—but somewhere between shared apples and quiet afternoons , you started liking Epel more than you meant to.

It hit you all at once one day , watching him laugh in the sunlight—unfiltered , unguarded.

So you told him. Just the two of you , sitting under that familiar tree.

“Epel ,” you said quietly. “I think I like you.”

His smile froze , just a little. He blinked.

“Huh?”

“Romantically,” you added , more quietly this time. “I... I like you.”

For a moment , he didn’t speak. Just stared down at the grass , fingers digging into the dirt.

“Oh.”

That was it. Just one word. Flat. Quiet.

The silence dragged on too long. It wrapped around your chest and tightened.

“Never mind,” you said quickly , trying to laugh it off. “It’s okay. I just thought you should know.”

His head jerked up. “Wait -"

But you were already standing.

“I get it,” you said , forcing a smile. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Epel stood too , reaching like he wanted to stop you - but the words never came.

“I just—” he started , but nothing followed.

You gave a quick nod and turned away , swallowing the ache in your throat.

"...i just needed a second.." were thw ords he whispered as he hesitated to run after you.

[ahappydnp]

Hey so I hope this is okay to ask as i’m a bit confused and crazy atm. In the WIQYT screenshots going around again about the doc, the last one talks about Dan having self image issues. I was curious if you could possibly help spread some light on the subject maybe? I remember always seeing him posted on the proana blogs back in the day frequently, and even in Dan and Depression he says his lexapro made him “gain loads of weight” but it never seemed like anything visually changed. I know you’re not a mind reader and trying to understand another persons self image is impossible, I guess I just maybe don’t understand where this comes from. I know he used to rag on himself in videos by putting pillows down his shirt to signify that he was chubby as a kid even tho he never was from the pictures available. I’m aware this is very parasocial but I’ve been going through a lot self image wise and he never got to make his documentary where he talks about it and idk. To me, Daniel is lowkey a philosopher and i’m so desperate to hear what he has to say on the subject. Can you think of any times he’s talked about this kind of stuff? (Sorry for this being such a downer anon i just kinda feel like i need to hear about it rn and i don’t know where to look)

I hope your weekend is amazing and filled with joy and laughter!

like you said, no one knows what goes on inside someones mind especially things like insecurities. but i do think it's two seperate issues that dan has talked about (under the cut for sensitive topics)

i think it's important to remember how society treated weight in the early 00s, obviously it was muuuuch worse for women but boys would also get ridiculed for their weight regardless of their size. i assume that dan did get picked on for being bigger (more than likely he was probably just taller than his classmates but kids just really like generalizing words like "fat" and that sticks in your brain). it was such a shitty time for body acceptance as a whole and he was bullied so much i'm sure people did throw in weight comments just to add to the blow.

and like everything else that's going to stick and then when you're a little older you just repeat this truth that other people told you that "i was a fat kid and fat=bad just like gay=bad so i'm going to agree with them" of course that was suuuuuuper toxic and unhealthy and dan definitely did even more damage peddling casual fatphobia and making insensitive jokes online. but he was pretty openly struggling with his body image from the get go (all the ED comments he made in 2009) and as we know, there's generally another root cause. dan's talked about his self hatred when he was younger (particularly stemming from the bullying and his internalized homophobia) at length and it makes sense that manifested into body dysmorphia the second part is in that screenshot from WIQY he was specifically talking about gay men's beauty standards which is a whole different issue altogether. he's talked a lot about his baby face and how he's felt insecure about his lack of "masculine" features and build. he's talked about how people don't take him seriously because he doesn't look like "a man". there's also the added layer of him being the poster child for ~pretty boy twink~ who's now getting older and aging out of those very rigid beauty standards solely because he's no longer 21. but gay men can be incredibly toxic when it comes to labels and what's attractive (i mean think about the fact that grindr literally has a body type filter so you can exclude whole subsets of people). so he's not saying that he's not attractive or not the general beauty standard, it's that he came out and fell face first into gay standards discourse because he was actively engaging and consuming queer community in a new light

allll of this to say i COMPLETELY get how it can instinctively rub people the wrong way when dan howell, who was famously coined "the hot one" for years and has had people drooling over him his entire adult life, says he's insecure. it can feel like a slap in the face if you don't consider his own struggles but i do think he's self aware and healed enough to know that he's very much within societal beauty standards (tall, straight sized, white, eurocentric features) and has actually benefited greatly in his career because of his looks. and he's unpacked a lot of his fatphobia and has made a point to be vocally body positive even going back to like 2016/2017

[notatzimisce]

This is one of the reasons we think whatever I have going on is probably pure-neurological, and probably a different brain disease than what's plaguing most depressed people -- there isn't actually a thought pattern underlying it. For me, it was always more like being mind controlled. Or even like being in physical pain. Like there was something external to my thought processes making me miserable against my will, and I didn't understand why. I'd introspect and figure out what I was ruminating on (if anything -- often nothing whatsoever) and try to talk myself through it. And it almost never worked. But as soon as I started getting neurostim, talking myself through situations and feelings started working literally immediately.

This is also why therapy never helped. One time I took a therapist's suggestion to leave a note next to my bed about something good and read it when I got up. Also, if I found myself starting to ruminate, I should immediately think about something else. This made perfect sense for derailing bad thought-patterns, so I tried it.

On iirc the second day of this strategy, I felt a bad mood coming on from the moment I woke up. I read my nice note and successfully shut down the beginnings of miserable thoughts and tried going about my day, and it just didn't work. It felt like some part of my brain was actively fighting me to try to find and latch onto something, literally anything it could despair spiral about, and when I discarded one thing it'd look for something else.

It took hours for me to slip up and fall into it, but even until that point, there was this vague, nasty feeling of malaise hanging over everything and it just wouldn't go away. It felt like from the moment I woke up, there was a storm brewing inside my head. It felt like there was something dark on the horizon slowly sweeping in, and sooner or later it was going to break.

There was another time I thought I should figure out what it'd take to make me happy, and if I did that, surely I would identify some obvious problems I needed to take care of. The result of that thought experiment was the realization that in the wildest fantasy world I could imagine, where nobody ever had to suffer again and everybody had everything they want forever somehow, I still wouldn't be happy, for no reason whatsoever. It just seemed like I was incapable of it, physically.

Presumably there's an unknown amount of other depressed people who also have whatever this particular neurological problem is, but it's really hard to say how many when we don't yet know what it is or how to test for it. I think the study I'm in judges in large part by what kind of response someone has to failed ECT, because when they were screening me they wanted me to get really specific about that.

Rhetoric against the depressive mindset is usually tedious saccharine opium bullshit but unfortunately this makes bearers of the depressive mindset (among whose ranks I sometimes find myself) feel way more justified than they/we have any right to. Like...the depressive mindset is ALSO tedious and stupid. There's an urge for managing your own mind to be all carrot or all stick. It's simpler that way. But it's stupid! It doesn't work! You have to judiciously apply the carrot and the stick at the right times in the right proportions, it's a huge pain in the ass

[heartseungbin]

Strangers O.B

synopsis; am I making you feel sick?

genre; angst, hurt no comfort

notes; writing this bc tiktok editors are hurting me with the beomseok x stranger by Ethel cain agenda so now I have to hurt y'all too!! reader is beomseoks gf and suho's sister. this is mostly told in beomseoks pov. tbh this is written for the part of me that kinda hates beomseok for this. if you couldn't tell it uses lyrics from stranger by ethel cain (I recommend listening), trying smth new with the [name] thing tell me if u like

"I tried to be good."

"I said that's enough." Suho said, his tone full of finality and stern. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I dug my fingernails into the palm of my sweaty hand. My chest rises and falls quickly, eyes darting to Sieun's as I distantly wonder what he would think. My eyes glance to behind him where [name] stands, eyes furrowed in concern.

This was supposed to be a night of fun. Us as a group, hanging out at the norebang. Yeoung-i continues her cursing, pushing me to the side as she storms out. My eyes follow Suho as he follows her, brushing past me also.

"Are you okay?" Sieun breathes, looking me in the eyes. "Yeah," I mumble as the door opens again to reveal the group of guys I had been running from. My chest rises as the one in the front begins talking. My brain fogs and I feel bile rise in my throat as I swallow it back down. As I blankly stare at the floor, I think I hear Sieun say something over the cotton in my ears. I hear [name] speak up too, and feel a hand touch mines, interlocking our hands together. I look up, and the group is gone.

"Are you okay?" I hear [name] ask, and I nod, unlacing our fingers. "I gotta go," I say, words sliding out of my mouth before I could stop them.

—

"Am I no good?"

My head is pounding with the unbearable coarse of voices from all around the clamoring classroom, all talking about some irrelevant or nonsensical bullshit. I open my eyes glasses sliding slightly as I sit up into a slouch. I look to my left at the source of the noise, a group of boys yelling loudly.

"Hey." I mumble, watching them continue to speak rowdily.

"Hey!" I yell, feeling the anger rise in my chest and my throat tingle. The room fell into a hushed silence. "Quiet." I slowly blink, watching as they furrow their brows. "What's his problem?" I hear them murmur.

"Shut your mouth," he scoffs and I stand up, chair clattering as I rush over to the boy, getting in his space. "Were you laughing?" I ask, grabbing him by his shirt collar and suddenly it wasn't me grabbing him by his collar, but someone else grabbing me by my own. I'm remembering this was me. I stumble instinctively and I feel a hand on my shoulder. As I turn around, I'm face to face with Sieun.

"Hey Beomseok, What's wrong?" He asks, glancing at the boy as he looks back at me. I feel another hand on my shoulder as Suho speaks, "What's going on?"

The boy smirks, looking stupidly smug as he speaks. "He's being a dick cause he knows Sieun and Suho's gonna show up," He mumbles.

Suho's words rung in my head, bringing me back to that night.

"I said apologize to him correctly, asshole." Suho, grunts, grabbing the boy by his ear. He groans in pain as he looks at me in annoyance. "I'm so sorry Beomseok, really, I mean it." He says, clasping his hands together in pleading. I remember the feeling of embarrassment rushing through me, yet another way I couldn't stand up for myself.

My grip tightens as I begin yelling. "I'll fucking kill you." I yell, Suho pulling me away and towards the hallway. I shrug Suho's hand off of me. "Stop wrapping your arm around me," I breathe raggedly, throat burning as he looks at me in bewilderment. "What?" He says, searching my eyes.

I look at the doorway where [name] is standing, her brows furrowed as she opens her mouth to speak. I don't let her as I rush towards the door and out into the hallway, our shoulders knocking together harshly as I hear her call my name.

I felt our shoulders brush each other and I pull away slightly, thinking it was just a mistake. When it happens again, I know it isn't. She turns to me with a smile, rubbing our shoulders together as she playfully wiggles her eyebrows. "Wow Beomseok, you like me that much?" I smile, looking away from her. "Just can't stand to be away from me too long, huh?" she laughs.

I rush down the hallway and for a spilt second I turn, watching as her face twists in hurt and confusion. "Fuck," I breathe, walking through the halls with my hand tangled in my hair.

I stumbled through the halls, people whispering on every side of me. I remember this—the whispers as I walked through the halls, face covered in bruises and my eyes burning from the unshed tears. I hear the words of my bullies ringing in my ears as I walk through the halls, my chest rising and falling quickly. I cast my eyes to the ground, not bothering to look up. I ball my hand up into a fist, breathing raggedly as I punch the wall next to me. I draw my arm back, punching the brick once more, the skin of my hands splitting with the force.

—

"And that I never blamed you for loving me the way that you did"

My phone buzzed again. Since that night, they hadn't stopped texting and calling. I tried to ignore the constant attempts. I finally turn over, the glow of my phone burning my eyes from being in the dark for so long. The umpteenth call notification came in and I swipe it away, shutting the phone off.

A soft but familiar knock at my door makes me look over, sitting up when it opens. [name] is standing there with a slight smile, holding a bag of food. "I heard you were feeling sick?" she says, sliding in and closing the door behind her with a soft click. She places the food onto my desk and slides her shoes off as she sits on the bed next to me. "Suho told me what happened," she starts quietly, biting her lip. She grabs my hand and interlocks them; something she does as a means to comfort. In this case, I don't know who needs the comfort, me, or her.

"What's going on?" her brows furrow and she looks pitiful. I snatch my hand away before I could register it. "Nothing," I sneer, pulling away as her face twists in hurt. "I—I just thought—" I watched as she tried to dismiss the feeling, swallowing hard as she continued to push and prod. "You know, you and Suho are the exact same." I scoff, watching as her brows furrow.

A moment passes. "What does that mean?" She says, picking at her thumbnail nervously. A small quirk she picked up from me. My hand swipes over my own thumbnail subconsciously, short and uneven from all the times of messing with it nervously.

I'm hurting her.

I know I am but I can't stop. The anger doesn't let me, its got a habit of speaking for me these days. My eyes dart around the room, refusing to meet hers as I continue, "You both pity me. I just—" I take a pause. A breath, feeling myself get angry all over again. "Stop fucking pitying me I'm not—" I swallow. She interrupts me.

"What?" She says in disbelief.

She sounds like she can't believe the words coming out of my mouth. I barley do.

"I'm not some weak thing that needs protecting." I stand up, looking her in the eye. "Not from you, not from Suho or anyone fucking else."

It's quiet save for a sniffle from her and for a second I thought she was crying. She can't meet my eyes.

She stands up, looking me in the eyes. "I don't know what's gotten into you," she breathes, "But I don't fucking pity you. I never have, I—" she stopped, hurting etching itself across her face. "Never mind." She laughs, but it isn't in a comical way and I know I fucked up.

My mouth opens as I begin to say something, anything to get her too stay but she throws a hand up, "Don't bother. Text me when you're feeling better." she wipes her eyes as she grabs her shoes, walking out the door and closing it with a soft click. I grab my phone from the bed, chucking it at the wall with a thud.

"Fuck." I breathe, hands flying to my head as I flop onto my bed. The food lies untouched. My phone is still on the ground, screen cracked. I curl into a ball, knees touching my chin as I close my eyes. "I'm so fucking lonely," I breathe, vision blurring with unshed tears.

I remember the first time she came over, it was before we started dating. "I wanna see what your room looks like," she said, laughing as she grabbed my hand, pulling me along the sidewalk. I could feel the heat rushing to my face as I smiled slightly. "Okay." I nodded, allowing myself to be dragged along.

—

"Can I be yours? Just tell me I'm yours"

"You, Me and Suho should talk things out." I frowned. I didn't want to talk things out, I'm tired of being fucking pitied. "There's nothing to talk out." I couldn't meet Sieun's eyes.

Why should I feel guilty? My hands curl into fists, my nails digging into my palm. "You know, I wish you would all just leave me alone. I'm having fun for once." I scoff and he narrows his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" I start again, "Besides, Suho's looked down on me since the day we met. He's never even thought of me as a friend," I say, eyes glued to my shoes.

"You're really pathetic, you know that?" I hear from behind me, as I turn and see Suho standing there. "What are you gonna do about it?" I breathe, walking past him. The bell for lunch rings and I walk down the hall and to the stairs, making my way there.

I see [name] in the halls and she looks at me with an expression I can't quite read.

Earlier, in the stairwell, I caught sight of Suho and [name] again. She was laughing—God, she looked so happy with him.

and without me.

I told myself I didn’t care.

I look away and see Jeongchan waiting for me. I know she must be wondering what I'm doing. I walk up to the group and Jeongchan greets me with a harsh slap on the back, laughing. His face changes to a look of confusion as he looks behind me and I turn around to see [name] standing there, a look of hurt and confusion on her face.

"Why are you over here hanging out with them?" She asks, completely ignoring everyone else. My cheeks heat in embarrassment as I look her in the eyes. "They're my friends," I spit, and she falters, slightly stepping back. "What?" she says, and I hear Jeongchan and the others murmuring behind me. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend," He laughs, "Seems like you didn't the way that girl was all over you yesterday." Her eyes narrow, looking at me in disbelief now.

"Beomseok what is he talking about?" and Suho steps in now, standing next to her as he clenches his fist. "Yeah, what is he talking about?" He grits, narrowed eyes looking right at me. "I was just having fun," I grit, looking Suho in the eyes. He grabs me by my collar then, and I grab him by his, suddenly feeling exhilarated. [Name] steps between us now, looking at me. "What is your fucking issue Beomseok?" she yells, eyes searching mines for an answer. "I'm over this," Suho mumbles. "Get back in line Beomseok." He breathes, and I look him in the eyes, glaring. "No thanks."

A moment passes and Suho steps back, face blank as he suddenly pushes me into a table, the force making my glasses fly onto the table. I put them back on, turning to face him angrily.

"am I making you feel sick?"

"Stop staring." He says.

"You disgust me." he spits, eyes narrowing with his lip curling into a sneer. I huff as I walk past him, walking off.

—

I sat down, pinching the bridge of my nose. It's Suho's birthday today yet I hadn't seen him anywhere. "Hey Sieun, where did Yeongi go?" I asked, adjusting my party hat. "I just texted grandma and she hasn't seen him since earlier either." He grabs his phone.

"She said she was picking up a surprise for Suho." He brings the phone to his face as it rings. I hear a ringtone sound and walk over to the couch. "She left her phone here," I say, holding it in my hand and handing it to Sieun. He looks at a message on it, eyes narrowing slightly. "I'll go and look for her," he says, throwing his jacket on. "Okay, I'll go look for Suho I have his location." I say, grabbing my phone and Beomseok's jacket he gave me.

"I like your jacket, it looks cool" I say, rustling through Beomseok's closet. "Why did you say you were going in there again?" He says, crossing his legs from his spot on the bed. "I'm taking something from here, just don't know what yet." I mumble, continuing my search. "I wanna have something of yours—you know, to wear?" I look back at him, reading his expression. His face is pink, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Okay." He replies with a nod.

I can't help but wonder what he's doing even though he's been an ass lately. I pull up the location checking app and see both Suho and Beomseok were in the same location; a gym. My eyebrows furrowed as I took note of the location. I went into my contacts and found Suho's number, hearing it ring and get sent to voicemail. "That's weird," I murmur.

It takes 15 minutes or so for me to get there. I walk up the street and find a tall black colored building. The arrow on the location app points to this building. I see no one outside of it. I walk up and pull on the door, immediately hearing the sounds of a loud crowd of people cheering and thuds of flesh against flesh. In the middle of the gym is a large boxing ring with two people I can't quite identify fighting in the ring.

I turn and see Beomseok standing aside, observing the fight. I rush to him, grabbing his shoulder. "What's going on? Why does it say Suho is here—where is he?" I question franticly. Beomseok's face is void of emotion, blank and unfocused eyes still on the boxing ring. I turn then, and that's when I see who's fighting. I see Suho punch the other guy in the ring his first connecting with the boys face, making him fall to the ground and I move closer to the ring.

"Suho!" I yell, looking up at him in concern. He looks down at me with a smile.

"I won, let's get outta here—"He smiles, the sweat reflecting off the light making him glisten. He reaches a hand out towards me when suddenly his knees buckle, hand faltering. My eyes narrowed; he hit the ground with a loud thud, his head hitting the mat with a bounce. My eyes widen in horror as Suho lies limp, fingers twitching as he looks at me, eyes slowly opening and closing as if it hurt. The boy who kicked him stands over him, breathing heavily. I scream, throat itching as I climb into the ring, hands shaking uncontrollably.

I put an ear to his nose, hearing light puffs of air filter through. "Grab her," I hear from beside me and I see Beomseok looking at Suho with a blank expression. I'm suddenly grabbed from behind and dragged away as I watch Beomseok begin yelling. I scream, pushing and shoving, anything to get this persons hands off me, to get to Suho. Beomseok pulls his foot back, kicking Suho in the head.

"Who's the pathetic one now shithead?" He screams, kicking Suho in the head. He pauses as he turns around, glancing at me. He looks apologetic for a split second, before he turns around to continue. My throat is raw at this point, hands desperately clawing at the hold on me as the man finally lets go. I rush to Suho's side, dropping to my knees and holding his body protectively as I kick at Beomseok, yelling at him to get away from Suho.

"Suho please, please it's me—please," I try shaking him. Beomseok falls, huffing as a new voice is heard. His bodygaurd rushes in, shouting Beomseok's name. The bodygaurd grabs him and he shoves the guard away, yelling. "Get the hell off me!" he grunts, pushing his hands away. I check his pulse on his wrist, not feeling anything.

I franticly check everywhere I can think of, "I can't feel anything—It's not, he's not—" my voice breaks, my vision blurring with tears as I look at Beomseok. I hear the other boys murmur as they all begin running out. He looks at me, dropping to his knees as he breathes shakily. His shaking hand reaches for Suho but before he can touch it I snatch it away with a glare. He begins calling Suho's name like a mantra.

"If I'm turning in your stomach and I'm making you feel sick"

"Suho—Suho please, please look at me," Beomseok begs, grabbing his hand, holding it to his face. I snatch it away, glaring at him with all the hatred I could muster. "You disgust me," I spit, hot tears running down my face. Beomseok shakes his head, sorries spilling out uncontrollably. He looks at me, horrified with himself.

"Please help him—please help my brother please," I scream, begging to anyone that would listen as I held his limp body in my arms. Beomseok is dragged away from us by the guards as he yells Suho's name, sobbing into his hands. I distantly hear Beomseok yelling. "What about Suho? He's not breathing, he— no wait he's not opening his eyes wait—" Beomseok went limp, getting dragged away. "Suho please!" I cry, eyes darting across his face.

I scan my surroundings, seeing one bodygaurd and two boys still looking at the ring, at Suho's limp body.

"Why aren't you helping me!? He needs help—" My throat burns and I swallow harshly, continuing. "Fucking help him!" I scream, standing up. "Didn't you hear me? I said help me." I say, hooking my hands under his armpits, attempting to drag him. I fall, getting back up and attempting to try again. The body guard pulls the boys aside and I hear them talking quietly.

The man gets on the phone as the boys look at me nervously. The other bodyguard approaches me, expressionless. "I recommend you stop touching the body and incriminating yourself." He says, pulling something out of his pocket. My eyes widen wildly.

"Body? He's not—He's not just a body and he's not—he's not dead," I breathe as the other guard gets into the ring. I feel hands grab my waist and pull me backwards as I attempt to claw them off me. My breathing is ragged as I yell. "Get off me!" I kick, getting dragged away as I take one last look at Suho before the door shuts.

It's silent for a moment as I hear the sirens sound distantly.

—

if you enjoyed, consider liking, reblogging, sharing or sending in your own ask:p

[descendant-of-truth]

While I'm of the opinion that the Re:Coded movie that's in all the collections generally does a better job at giving you all the relevant cutscenes than the Days movie, after playing through the DS game myself, I still think it's a shame how much they left out. Notably, the Castle Oblivion section is... extremely nerfed in the movie.

See, when Roxas tells Sora that he can do whatever he wants when talking to the illusions from his past, he means it. You, the player, are presented with different tasks that come with multiple dialogue options, and there are three possible endings for every "world" you enter. You get a different Ending Card depending on how you act; a Normal Card, an Alternate Card, and an Extra Card.

In the movie, instead of providing you with any kind of choose-your-own-adventure routes that lead to different cutscenes, they just. vaguely animate everyone talking silently to each other, and then have the illusions fade away. Which I think loses a lot of the intrigue, but it also means that relatively few people in the fanbase have even seen any of these routes.

I won't go over every single one because that can easily be done by looking them up on YouTube, but I do want to bring up one route in specific because it's really stuck with me ever since - Wonderland's Extra Ending.

So, in Wonderland, you're presented with a series of dilemmas:

Alice can't remember her name

The White Rabbit drops his pocket watch

The Cheshire cat gives you a riddle that requires you to choose the correct box or else fight a Heartless waiting in the wrong ones

One card soldier asks you to deliver a potion to a second card soldier for him

A third card soldier is weakened and woozy

You get the Normal Ending by doing at least one of these tasks correctly, the Alternate Ending by doing all of them correctly, and the Extra Ending by doing everything wrong.

In order to get the Extra Ending, you must:

Tell Alice that she's the Queen of Hearts

Pick up the White Rabbit's watch (causing Sora to lose sight of him, unable to return it; you're supposed to just tell him where it is)

Give up on the Cheshire Cat's riddle

Give the potion to the third, weakened card soldier, instead of its intended recipient (it turns out he was just hungry, not injured, so you didn't help him. the second card soldier would have given you a sandwich)

No matter what you do, at the end of each route, the Queen of Hearts will grab your attention and accuse you of being the thief who stole her memory. She'll try to back it up with proof, and even when you've done everything right (which she acknowledges), she still concludes with an "off with your head!" which Sora implicitly runs away from, ending the world's story.

Except for in the Extra Ending.

After she recaps everything you've done wrong up to that point, she drops this dialogue that I haven't been able to stop thinking about:

Queen of Hearts: "Don't tell me you were trying to be NICE? Cheering that girl up by telling her she was important? Giving things away because you thought someone else needed them more? Trying to... to own up to your failures!? Bah! Go on! Off with you!" Data Sora: "Not 'off with my head'?" Queen of Hearts: The punishment must match the crime! See how YOU like having something NICE done to you!"

It's hard to describe what it was about this that's still so striking to me months later, but it's just... kind of off-putting, in a way?

Having the Queen of Hearts choose to spare you as a "more fitting punishment" is out of character enough already, but the fact that it's the consequence to you actually doing everything wrong makes it feel all the more pointed. This is somehow supposed to be worse than being beheaded, and it kind of works, because it feels so much more personal than her usual schtick.

And it exists in such an isolated incident, too. The level is completed immediately after this dialogue, and nothing else is changed by getting it, it's just. there.

At the same time, everything about it feels so deliberate that I can't help but feel like it either is or will be relevant elsewhere somehow. It could just be overanalyzing on my part, but the first thing that comes to mind is actually that the Queen's final line could parallel the consequence of Sora misusing the Power of Waking?

He did so for a good cause, after all, but it wasn't what he was supposed to do. He broke a taboo of nature in the process. But his punishment isn't a straightforward death; he's just put somewhere else, somewhere he can't see his friends. "Off with you," the universe says, "see how you like having something nice done to you!"

...but that doesn't really feel like it's getting to the heart of the matter, which is that Data Sora did not need to do any of this. He could have told Alice her real name, on account of it being the default dialogue option, and he could have tried to figure out what was wrong with that card soldier before giving away stuff that wasn't his. He could have tried a little harder at the riddle. These were all fairly low-stakes situations - in particular, he really didn't need to lie to Alice.

The original Sora didn't have much of a choice in what he did. It was either lose his powers and vanish, or leave Kairi shattered and functionally dead. You can't really say he made the wrong decision, or did something immoral for a superficial reason.

So then... will this line remain an isolated slap in the face to completionist DS players, or will there be more to it? Is there already more to it that I'm missing? Where's our parallel to Data Sora "cheering that girl up by telling her she was important"? What are we supposed to make of "see how you like having something nice done to you"?

What does it all mean???

(In conclusion: go check out the DS versions of these cutscenes, they're great)

[confusedhummingbird]

I'd heard a lot about Dickkory before I started to read NTT for myself, and honestly from what I was hearing I was expecting the Karras/arranged marriage arc to be worse?

I mean, it certainly wasn't my favourite but people were talking like Dick was being irredeemably nasty. He didn't really seem that way to me? Also it's revealed later on that he was literally brainwashed?

I thought when I got to the arc that Dick's main problem would be Kory cheating on him with Karras. But that wasn't his issue at all, really. He seemed way more concerned with the fact that after Kory's dad sold her to their enemies to be a slave for twelve whole years of horrific torture and violation, as soon as she comes back he is ONCE AGAIN essentially selling her to someone else. No regard for her autonomy or anything like that at all. And Myanmar is acting like he's the one doing the sacrificing, both times! And I thought Dick was right to be upset about that!

If Dick's upset about cheating, maybe I'm remembering the arc wrong but it was less about Kory cheating on him with Karras, and more Kory cheating on Karras with him? Because they would be the ones married? I think i saw someone sum up the arc as "Dick broke up with Kory because he doesn't understand how polyamory works" but, A) Polyamory is not for everyone, and B) Kory and Karras didn't want to be married either? They were both only doing this because they were being forced, either by circumstances or in Kory's case by her father.

Anyway Dick is not as bad as people make him out to be and if Myand'r can't stop sacrificing his daughter than he should at least stop acting like he's suffering more than the actual sacrifice.

Yeah Dick was under brainwashing so much of his words are a result of that but I do think he has some real anger it's just that the brainwashing made him more aggressive and yell when he'd probably try to have a conversation with her.

I think Dick was angry she'd be marrying someone else but part of it does stem from her listening to her father again and not even trying to say no even after he sold her to slavery. I understand that Kory had to do it to save her planet but I completely understand Dick anger.

Also saying Dick doesn't understand Polyamory is very much just brushing off the events. Dick himself admits he doesn't believe in loving more than one person and honestly I understand. I understand poly and open relationships can work but they aren't for everyone and I wouldn't want one either. Plus think about it from a political perspective. What if Kory was expected to have a child with Karras to create an heir. Would Dick be expected to just grin and bear while raising his girlfriend's husband's child? What if she had to be with him more as a result of the marriage? They basically went their own ways after the marriage but what if this wasn't the case and they were expected to spend some time with each other?

Again I get why Kory had to do it but I also get Dick's complaints. I don't think it was just him being an asshole. Was he very mean about it? Oh yeah. But again brainwashing. But still he's allowed to have his feelings. And I don't blame him for having an issue with the girl he loves suddenly having to marry someone else.

But the important part is they were both able to move on because Dick just wanted to be with Kory more than he cared about Kory's marriage. He honestly handles better than I feel many of us would. I know I wouldn't know how to handle this situation.

Overall it was mostly made to create drama but it is a very complicated situation and I understand both sides. Kory did have to save her planet. But to expect Dick to not be upset his girlfriend is just marrying someone else is unfair to his feelings.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

How to Woo Someone

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Poe Dameron x F!Reader

prompt #1464

“Do you have any tips on how to woo someone?”

“You’re trying to woo someone?”

“Why do you have to say it like that?” from @writers-are-writers

After the fall of The First Order, Poe thought life would be a little easier. But nothing ever came easy to Poe. Well, nothing except flying. Everything else was a bit of a struggle.

Rebuilding the galaxy after everything, was no walk in the park. As a general of the Resistance, Poe, as well as Finn and Rey, worked to make sure the galaxy found its peace again.

In the process, he made a lot more friends, a few enemies, but, most importantly, he met you.

You were basically in charge of your small village in Batuu. Poe and a few others had stopped on the planet to refuel and rest. You met him at the market, noticing the Resistance symbol on his satchel. You two got to talking and you brought him and his friends back to your village.

It was some distance from the Black Spire Outpost.

Your village was previously pillaged through by some First Order troops. You asked for Poe's help and he gave it to you.

What was supposed to be a short stop on an Outer Rim planet ended up being a two month's stay. For Poe, at least. He wanted to personally see to it that you and your village got the help you needed, while he let his friends continue their journey.

Poe helped lay more of a foundation again in your village. You already set up the blueprints, he just helped you carry out the plans.

"We make a great team. Honestly, I could use someone like you with the Resistance."

You snort, "Are you offering me a job?" you nudge him with your shoulder and a smirk on your lips.

"If you want it, yeah. Like I said, we need more people like you. People who are still willing to help others," he sighs and looks away from you, instead, looking out on a group of villagers helping build a new set of homes, "A lot of people lost hope and peace when the First Order took over. I want to restore that to them again."

You slowly nod, "I'd love to help, but I need to talk with my council."

"Of course. I'm here for a few more days so you have time," he places a reassuring hand on your shoulder and then goes to join the group of builders.

__________________________

While also helping you rebuild your village, Poe became acquainted with several members of your council. One of them being your cousin who was around the same age as Poe.

As he was helping the builders, Poe pauses to watch you interact with some of the village children.

Your cousin, Sendril, slaps him on the chest, "You okay?"

"Huh? Oh, um, ye-yeah," he struggles to pull his eyes away from you as you laugh at something one of the children say. Then Poe asks Sendril, “Do you have any tips on how to woo someone?”

Sendril cocks a brow and asks back, “You���re trying to woo someone?”

Poe's face scrunches up in confusion, “Why do you have to say it like that?”

Sendril shrugs, "I don't know, you just seem so...serious all the time. Didn't think you'd wanna woo anyone." He continues to place bricks to build a wall of a home.

Poe sighs and joins him, "Well, wooing anyone was the last thing on my mind, but..." he pauses and looks back at you, again. His attention is brough back when Sendril snorts, "Good luck."

"Has Y/N ever been with anyone?" Poe asks as he smears concrete and then places a brick down.

"Once, didn't go well. They left her to go explore the galaxy with someone else. She was heartbroken, never saw or heard of her being with anyone else since."

Poe hums, "Would she be interested?"

"In you?" Sendril asks, looking at Poe. When Poe nods, Sendril scrunches up his nose, "Honestly, I'm not sure. Considering you don't plan on being here for much longer, probably not."

"I asked her if she'd want to come with me, help people rebuild around the galaxy."

"What'd she say?"

"She has to talk to the council. Do you think they'd let her go?"

Sendril hums, "It's likely. Y/N is a great leader and has helped us keep our heads above water since the First Order pillaged us, but we're stronger now. We can continue without her." He stands up and crosses his arms over his chest. Sendril may be around the same age as Poe but he's taller and stronger. He casts an intimidating shadow over Poe as he asks, "And are you going to treat her right?"

"If she allows something to happen between us, then yes. While I've only been here for a short time, I already know Y/N to be a strong, caring, and wise person. I admire how well she's led you all through these tough times. She's also funny and beautiful and kind-"

Sendril rolls his eyes and interrupts him, "Alright, I get it. You're smitten for my cousin. I'll give you my blessing since I'm the only family she has left, however, hurt her-"

"And you'll lay me in the ground, I got it."

Your cousin snorts, "No. She'd do that to you, herself. But I'd help bury your body."

"...Thanks, Dril."

"You're welcome, Poe!"

______________________________

You told Poe you’d be seeing the council that morning to discuss your potential leave.

Outside of the building, Poe couldn’t help but pace back and forth. He understands if the council would prefer for you to stay since the village is still in the process of rebuilding. However, Poe really thinks you could do a lot of good around other parts of the galaxy as well. So he hopes the council sees it too.

It was thirty minutes of deliberation before you stepped out.

“Well?”

You smile at him, “When do we leave?”

Poe immediately pulls you into a hug a swings you around, “You’re going to do amazing things out there, Y/N. I just know it.”

You giggle in his embrace, “Thanks, Poe,” you say as you pull away.

You two stare at each other in silence. Poe’s eyes are soft as he looks back at you and then glances at your lips.

He slowly leans in towards you, giving you time to pull away. But you don’t, so when his lips touch yours, he pulls you closer.

You kiss him back with intensity, the secret feelings you’ve kept buried inside you for the past two months. Those feelings and thoughts of Poe spilling out as you kiss him back.

“So this is how you woo her?”

You both pull away to see Sendril leaning against the council building with a smirk.

You clear your throat and ask, “Woo who?”

Poe sighs and shakes his, “Ignore him.”

Sendril laughs, “Just don’t forget to invite me to the wedding,” he shoots a wink at you and carries on his with his day.

Poe clears his throat, “So, um, should probably start packing. Got the whole galaxy to see.”

You smile brightly at him, “Right.”

You step aside and begin to walk to your home, but then you turn around, “For the record, I do still expect you to woo me, Dameron.”

He laughs, “Don’t worry. I plan too,” he smirks your way before you turn back to head home.

[pixiehe4rt]

What does Pixie think

about...?

Relationship chart

Skipp: "Well, he's my boyfriend! i think that speaks for itself. He's sweet, caring, considerate, affectionate, kind... not to mention he's really cute too! He's a beautiful soul, unique amongst the many other residents of this city. I was not too sure about his intentions at first, but he ended up indirectly teaching me that the warmth of kindness can grow even in the coldest of alleyways, something that not everyone is willing to grow in them. I'm lucky to have him in my life. How can i not love him?"

Vinnie: "I remember the first time we met. She was skeptical about me and my intentions, and she clearly showed that she didn't like me at all. I understand why she was like that, high class people can sometimes have nothing but a hole where their hearts should be. I find it funny, how she used to always keep an eye on me when i was around them, and now she tells me about anything that crosses her mind as if we're lifelong friends! And even if she's very intense and bold–and a bit annoying at times–, i still love her as a sister."

Stone: "He's not the most talkative person in the group, but it's not that hard to have a good conversation with him. As Vinnie, he didn't like me much at first, and it was harder to get him to trust me. But once he gets comfortable, he makes a great companion! Stone can also be an awesome listener, too. He sucks at comforting people and he's in that weird drunk-ish state 90% of the time, but that doesn't mean he can't be an amazing friend!"

Pebble: "I'm still confused about him. What is he exactly? How am i able to see him if i'm not the one that's high? The more i think about it, the more questions i get. He refuses to explain, and no matter how much i beg him to do so, he never does. So i guess i only can keep being annoyed by his constant teasing and nagging whenever he's around. He's sometimes funny too though, but he's a very weird guy. Quite literally Stone's alter ego."

Tre: "Despite everything, he's still here. Ever since our first encounter, we've gotten along so well. Our friendship meant, means and will mean everything to me, forever. Some people might find him annoying–I must admit he can be a little overwhelming sometimes, but that was never a problem to me. But it pains me to know that he's still going after scraps, including my friends, and other people. Maybe if I had asked his parents if I could stay with them since day one, things would be different for me. And despite everything, he sometimes comes to visit me, to just hang out like we used to; despite everything, he's still here."

Maroon: "If she was a color, she'd be an orangey brown. Strong, reliable and warm. But also distant and cold. I'm glad she took care of Tre and I, she takes her job very seriously, and maybe being friendly was part of it, but it made me happy to have someone else so close to me. I don't know much about her yet, but i hope she trusts me as much as I still trust her."

[sashimi020]

chaos meets guitarist p3[manjiro x reader]

p1 | p2

A/N: i hopee u guys like this chapter! thank you so much for the support on the last two chs. hope this is as enjoyable :33, comments, reblogs n likes r much appreciated!!<3 ALSO, @idk-what-myurl-shouldbe, all credits to them for the idea of making one of y/ns music bandmates be someone in the gang i hope i did it justice! (thank you, we all say in unison)

baji pulled out the restaurant table chair and slumped on it with a long sigh. kazutora huffed "long day?" "jeez. you have no idea. i seriously should've prioritized my studies back when we were teens. this shit is so hard and everyone else is doing way better than me! i have to work like, 10 times harder than everyone else" "well, you're improving right? that's all that matters. don't compare yourself to others..." chifuyu responds, baji chews the inside of his cheek, "whatever. let's just enjoy for a bit yeah? what are you guys ordering?"

__ chifuyu speaks up, "how have you guys been? we honestly need to catch up like this more often" kazutora nods and sighs "it's been fine," he rested his head on his palm, "i met this girl a few months ago-" "ooh! you like her?" "god! no, baji would you let me finish?" kazutora huffs childishly, "i ran into her when she was getting her jacket altered from mitsuya, somehow we all started talking and turns out that she's trying to do some music thing alongside college. after meeting up a few times after that," he pauses to take a bite out of his fries, "we decided to work together to start a music course-slash-band thing, i mean, it's nothing much right now, i'm still working at XJ land and obviously i will be for a while," he turns to chifuyu "but this shit seems pretty promising" he pauses "we'll do covers and upload them online, we'll take commissions, y'know, do gigs and also teach."

chifuyu smiles warmly "that sounds great, you guys should play for us sometime" baji snorted, "at least you won't be blasting your dumbass guitar and bass in the apartment anymore" he paused, "but in all seriousness, i'm happy for you dude. i'm glad your pursuing this"

__

becoming friends with draken and emma came with a lot of benefits. firstly, you found yourself being more social than before. somehow, they had an incredibly huge friend circle, it intimidated you at first but over time and over hangouts, you'd gotten used to all of them and they all seemed to like you quite a bit thankfully. you had the chance of getting to meet hina and takemitchi properly, who were so heartwarming and wonderful. they were super cute together.

they certainly made you feel single though.

your prospects in relationships were never very great - in all honesty, it would be great to have a partner - you quickly push the idea, though, in favour of kickstarting your music business.

__

"we're going out for dinner with everyone today, right?" draken spoke as he yawned, "mhmm! you think we should invite y/n? they already met.. hina.. mikey and takemitchi, they all got along so well so maybe?… i feel like they'd fit right in. i'll ask the others first too though" emma said as she stretched her sleepiness away. "yeah sure, that sounds good" draken responded. __

emma: hi guyss

kazutora: sup

chifuyu: yoo

emma: would it be alright if a friend tagged along today? they're pretty cool and i think you'd all get along well

baji: sure why not

baji: i haven't made a new friend since high school 💀 college is eating up all my time i swear

mitsuya: sounds cool!

hina: me and mitchi met them recently! super chill

hina: can't wait for tn! its been a while since we all got together! __

emma: hey y/n!! ru free tonight?

y/n: oh! yeah i think so

emma: would you wanna come to dinner with us? a few of our other friends will be there too!

_

you stare at your phone for a few seconds and consider the offer. it was undoubtedly thoughtful but you found yourself hesitating. meeting new people was always a rather daunting task, and you'd developed a certain feeling towards this group of people. everyone was so amicable and enjoyable to be around that you hoped that you were the same to them. 'what if i embarrass myself?' 'what if i'm too awkward?' worries and anxieties plagued your mind.

but you needed to take this risk. moving into a new place and finding a long term friend group wasn't an easy task. why miss out on this opportunity?w

_

y/n: sure, sounds good, what time?

_

the evening rolled around, you got ready and met up with draken, emma and mikey. "ready to go?"emma asked you, you nod in response, still feeling slightly nervous. the four of you got in the car, draken and emma sitting in front and you and mikey in the back.

"actually ah, i'm slightly nervous" you chuckle, the anxiousness in your voice was more prominent that you'd have liked it to be, "i always get like this while meeting new people," "awh! don't worry, you'll get along just fine, everyone will like you for sure," emma reassured you. you glance out of the car window and watch the scenery speed by. mikey eyes you curiously, a part of him hoping you'd turn your head and talk to him instead.

_

the four of you get out of the car, seemingly having arrived early. you all settle down at the table and chat for a bit. mikey huffs in a childish manner and it interrupts your train of thought, "everything okay?" you tilt your head towards him, "fine, just cold. stupid.. dumb air con.." he pouted and mumbled. you pause, shrug off your jacket and place it over his shoulders. "that better?" his cheeks blossomed into a noticably adorable pink colour, "you didn't have to.." he muttered but didn't take it off. draken and emma share a knowing glance as she smirks smugly. "cute" emma chuckes, "huh?!" "i've never seen you act like this mikey," draken snorts.

before mikey can defend himself the others arrive.

you lean over to introduce yourself, a taller guy with long black hair pulled back into a ponytail holds the door open for a few others, 'why the hell are all these people so tall.. it's ridiculous' you think. you see hina, and takemitchi walk in, then suddenly, your brain malfunctions.

"KAZUTORA?!"

"Y/N?"

"MITSUYA??"

"Y/N???"

"YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?!"

"you- wait.. i.."

"SHE'S YOUR NEIGHBOUR?!"

"SHE'S THE ONE THAT WORKS WITH YOU GUYS???"

hina interrupts the chaos "hey! guys, sit down first don't yell in the restaurant! jeez.." you stare in slight awe as the others glance at you in slight confusion and curiousity. "small world huh?" mitsuya chuckles, somehow the most composed out of everyone, "okay! i need an explaination right now" emma interjects, "we..- well they're the friends i uh, i'm working with on the music centre and band" "ohhh" everyone says in unison.

your brain feels fuzzy from slight shock and happiness. what a pleasnt coincidence. "baji, chifuyu, meet y/n, y/n, meet baji and chifuyu". you give them a small smile "it's nice to meet you both!" "sup!" "nice to meet you too!". after everyone exchanged pleasantries, you all sit down and order. mitsuya smirked and stared at mikey, "that's y/n's jacket, no? the one i altered," "oh- oh, yeah. well, he said he was cold.. so..". mitsuya smirked, "sure, yeah" __

"ah.." kazutora laughs heartily, "this is great! i was just going to introduce you, y'know?" you smile sheepishly, you never expected things would turn out this way. any anxiety you felt before coming was mostly quelled.

the converstion went on, you learned about chifuyu's pet shop, you knew kazutora had a part-time but you found it amusingly sweet that he worked with animals. you wished baji the best of luck as a veterinarian. you could only imagine the workload he has till he graduates.

you learned a lot about all your newfound friends. it felt warm. really warm. you glanced at mikey a few times and he met your gaze. he smiled contently. it was a look you liked. "you know, you should smile more" "really?" "yeah, it suits you, you know, you're mostly always wearing that pout. you look happy. that's nice" his grin softened into a more sincere smile. "okay. i'll smile more. it won't be too hard though, you'll see it often, cause you make me smile". you chuckle brightly in response, "that's so cheesy!" "shut up.." everything felt so sweet.

you learned about their gang and childhood. mikey reminisced about it in an excited, animated manner, and their eyes lit up. they were all clearly so passionate about it. an air of nostalgia laid heavy, you were never a part of these memories, but in the vivd manner in which they described it, you might as well have been.

after a few drinks, the conversation shifted back to the music centre. "so, you know, you guys barely gave us any details about the thing you're doing! and i'm only now finding out that you guys know each other?" emma whined, "i need to know more, c'mon!" her face was flushed slightly from the alcohol. your mood heightens. you loved talking about it. "kazutora's our bassist and also guitarist, mitsuya does vocals, well, you already know that i do guitar but on the occasion i play drums." kazutora grinned "i'm really excited to finally start playing together, y'know? i don't know if it's sustainable income but, it's fucking fun" "i'll be teaching as well anyways and i'm still getting a degree so i have that going.." you respond. "we rented a studio. we should all practice this weekend, yeah?" mitsuya asks, "sure. sounds great"

"you guys gotta play something for us" baji said. "hell yeah!" kazutora responded enthusiastically, "c'mon, guys, c'mon let's make a toast" "toast to what?" "to.. new adventures and.." mikey glanced at you "to new friendships", chifuyu whooped and the sound of clinking of glasses filled the air.

baji, chifuyu and kazutora booked a cab to their apartment, chifuyu was slumped onto baji and remained fairly incoherent. you hoped that his hangover tomorrow wouldn't be severe. mikey was of a similar state, face flushed and a dazed expression with glossed over eyes. he seemed clingier than usual. hina and takemitchi dropped off mitsuya. the four of you got back in emma's car.

mikey's head lolled to the side, almost, just almost resting on your shoulder, you feel the need to resist the urge to shift slightly closer so his head falls completely on your shoulder. ultimately you didn't need to do anything because he moved anyways. closer than you would've expected. your arms touched and you felt your face heat up.

you figure he wouldn't mind and wrap your arm around his shoulder. he hums contently at the warmth and the comfortable weight. you cant help but smile at the sight.

emma glances at the pair from the rear view mirror and a soft expression falls on her face. it was about time mikey found someone he could be completely and wholly vulnerable with.

'emma'll wake me up when we reach home' you think, as you shut your eyes too, and lean your head on his.

__ tags: @manjirosfairmuse @dollrndo @dancingnewcat @bowloficecubes @idk-what-myurl-shouldbe extra notes: i wish i could've expanded on hina and takemitchi more tbh! might make a game night chapter next.. not 100% sure though. if you guys have any ideas do drop them in the comments!

i know this is supposed to be a mikey x reader fic but i really wanted to expand on the platonic relationships b/n reader and everyone else. i feel like that's something that a lot of x reader fics lack, (totally not that it's a bad thing!! many x reader fics that are isolated to the character n reader are great!! ) but i did want to give my two cents on these relationships and improve my writing!

[acourtofthought]

It's genuinely quite frustrating when certain fans try to dismiss the importance and buildup elucien has had due to their recency bias. Like I'm sorry elucien has been a thing since book TWO, if you really have been paying attention - you know THEIR book is next. Let's put some respect on their names and have some self awareness when it comes to your own ship biases.

I just think it's so odd that, when Sarah first started talking about wanting to write books for the sisters someday and was then signed on for the books, when she said "I know who the first two books will be about but I'm leaving open the third and possibly want to write a book set in the past", the fandom would have collectively agreed that during the release of ACOWAR, the first two spin-off books would almost certainly be: Nesta and Elain (with Elain's endgame being either Lucien or Az). During the release of ACOFAS, I imagine the fandom would have collectively agreed the first two spin-offs were going to be Nesta's and Elains with the only discrepancy being in her love interest.

So that means from 2017 all the way up until 2021, it was not talked about that Az would feature in the second spin-off with another love interest who wasn't Elain. But suddenly, all those years of Sarah plotting and planning on who the first two spin-offs were going to be about no longer mattered with the addition of Gwyn's character. Suddenly, there being someone special for Lucien (said in a Q & A) wasn't as important as there first being someone special for Az. Suddenly Az wanting his own mate means more than Lucien going through it with his actual mate. Suddenly Elain's story and trauma can take a backseat because a new character also has trauma and that's more important right now.

I'm not saying Sarah can't or won't write Gwynriel next but the mentality of why some think Elucien can't be next baffles me. Years upon years of there being setup for Nesta's story and Elain's story and that's all undone by one new character. When it seemed clear she had no real direction for Az in ACOWAR or the novella but because she now does, it suddenly trumps all else. All the times she talked about Elain's book and the research she'd done and the seeds she planted early on and it no longer matters? She might wait to go on a journey with a specific couple as she's writing their book but she still has an overarching plot in mind and certain characters have been connected to that overarching plot more than others since way back when. So why when she only now decided to give Az a tie to certain (new) plotlines (time-travel / discovering who once had TT), with most of it being in a different series, does that mean that he is definitely next? That his newly introduced possible plots have jumped the line so that Elain's trauma can wait, Lucien's heritage can wait, Vassa being taken back by Koschei? She can suck it up for a bit right? The Spring Court people are fine to continue living in a court that's falling apart while being ruled by a severely depressed High Lord so long as Az can figure out why he's got his special dagger.

If Eluciens story can be pushed back, then why can't Az's?

It's not that Az's book can't be next, it's the thinking with such certainty that he's definitely next with no chance for anyone else and they mock Elucien's for being delusional thinking Elucien would actually make a lot of sense for being next.

Yes, he was heavily mentioned in SF and yes, Gwyn was too. But what exactly would Lucien be doing in Cassian's book? Why would Elain be in Nesta's book when Sarah wrote Nesta as avoiding her and not wanting to see her? The one time Elain did head to the HOW Cassian told Rhys maybe it was better for the sisters to stay away and it's not surprising, when Nesta tried to blame Elain for being the reason their father was killed that she chose to avoid her after that.

Do you think Gwyn would have had as much page time had Nesta told her she was to blame for her sisters death?

Sarah wrote Elain out of the story so that Nesta could heal because Nesta was never going to become her own person so long as she was constantly watching over Elain.

Using the lack of Elain and Lucien page time in a Nesta and Cassian book as proof of something is an odd viewpoint. Do you think we'll have many mentions of Az or Gwyn in their book if Elucien is next? Or Elain's name count being high up there if Gwynriel is next?

And again, if people think Elain and Lucien's story can be pushed back despite all the traction they had in ACOWAR then why can't Gwynriel also be put on pause?

I do think Gwynriel is still a possibility, but not because they'd be the logical choice based off years upon years of what all the books have set up and her comments on the order of the spin-offs. If they're next then to me it really is because Sarah decided to chuck her original (fairly clear) plan out the window, where the spin-offs were meant to deal with the politics of after the war, and go in a wild new direction. Where time travel is now the more relevant plot for the ACOTAR series though it was never the focus for the 4 books prior and never mentioned in connection with Koschei or the Human Queens before (it still hasn't been mentioned in relation to them).

[goofycattycat]

Hello! Can you do possessive yandere Dazai and Chuuya ( separate) I think l'm your first request but anyways thank you for responding to me.😌

Hellohello!! Yes ofc ><

Author note; for some reason, I didn't get a notification for your request 💔💔 that being said, I'm so sorry if you waited long after sending this 🙏🙏

Warnings; mention of manipulation, torture, yandere themed stuff in general

Reader; gender neutral

Yandere!Chuuya & Dazai hc's

I feel like Osamus main trait as a yandere would be that he allows you to keep the illusion of freedom you created for yourself, even if you truly know it's not real.

He'd make sure to keep you close, dragging you into all of his mess, making you responsible for truly awful things. He tries to tell himself that he has some deep purpose to his actions, but the truth is, it's all his selfishness wishing to keep you by his side. So, at the end of the day, he believes that the least he can do is let you pretend like you still can go back. Although you're way too deep into the mess he made to return.

His love is deep, possessive and passionate. He values the connections he has made along the way and how they make him feel, yours especially. And while there are many things that make him avoid vulnerability; Maybe it's his disgust for pity, maybe the survival instinct he developed back in port mafia, Dazai longs for the feeling of understanding, which you seem to provide, even if you feel like you can't get him fully. That's when he realises he must keep you close at all costs.

He won't hesitate to control your friends, nor you, doesn't matter if it's mentally or physically. He prefers to hurt you mentally than anything, but if it's more effective he will switch to the physical pain. He also uses it when you mess up a bit too badly, since it's the easiest, most effective way to put you back in your place. He prefers to keep you alive though, so that you'll provide him the connection he desires. Corpses can't really do that, can they.

Speaking of controlling, I believe that his favourite way of keeping an eye on you is breaking you. He'd find one of your friends to turn back at you, just to be the one to wipe away your tears. If he sees you talking to someone else a little too long instead of paying attention to him, there's a high chance they'd disappear the next day, so that he can comfort you with his silly jokes. What's better for a relationship than a cute bonding moment after all?

Unlike Dazai, Chuuya is one who draws the line at hurting you physically. While he may not seem like it, he's extremely strong. Even without his ability he can do a lot of damage to a man. And while he can use his strength to remind you that, he can't imagine raising a hand at you. In his eyes, you're precious, pure, and he cannot allow anyone nor himself to leave a flaw on that.

Speaking of that, he's rather controlling, especially when it comes to who you hang out with, and it's not rare for him to isolate you from your friends or even hurt them behind your back if he decides they're a bit off. Not only possessive, but also overprotective much. He's lost a lot of people in his life, and he refuses to lose you as well.

Although, while controlling behind his back, on the front he's a true gentleman. Yes, he'll carry you around, open doors for you and bring you flowers without occasion. He also remembers everything about you, from anniversaries you find important, to things like your favourite colour or if you look better in silver or gold, even to the smallest stuff like the exact temperature you prefer the water to have while bathing. The truth is, he knows a lot about you. Though it's not like you have to know that much.

That being said, Chuuya always has time for you. Always, no matter what day nor time. You could call with the smallest of things in the middle of the night and he'd drop everything he's doing right away, just so he can assist.

[mutipede]

Maybe I'm overthinking but I feel like I should make some kinda public official disclaimer type of thing…

I grew up really absurdly isolated, and then [stuff happened], and that has made me ridiculously skittish. It's not the fault OR the responsibility of anyone who interacts with me. And I am pretty ashamed and embarrassed about it since it doesn't fit with my mental image of myself of being… y'know, not constantly terrified. ("I'm supposed to BE terrifying!" / bugs and survival horror monsters might be more afraid of you than you are of us but goddamn we're not happy about it)

I'm trying to improve that - hell, I originally made this account, in part, for the express purpose to try and improve that - but it is a very slow and backslide-y process. I'm sorry about that.

Here's what I've gathered so far about my own behavior.

If I think you're cool and we have a lot in common there's a VERY good chance that'll make it harder for me to talk to you, not easier. This sucks and I hate it. It's not your fault and I'm sorry.

If we're mutuals I like you and I think you're cool. 100% no qualifiers end of sentence congratulations on your indisputable coolness

If you follow me but I don't follow you, either I like you and think you're cool but you mostly post stuff I'm not personally interested in looking at, OR I haven't looked at your blog yet but will probably get around to that at some point lol

If I don't like someone I'll just block them and leave them alone.

I struggle with one on one conversations, in DMs and asks n'shit, for reasons I don't entirely understand. But it's a pretty universal thing regardless of how the other party behaves, so if you DM me and I act fuckin' awkward and weird and take forever to reply or can't keep a conversation going, please just be assured it has nothing to do with you whatsoever.

I struggle to initiate conversations unless I have something specific to say, although in the past if I've "gotten into the habit" of talking to someone I will happily talk to them about whatever every fuckin' day. I do miss that although I don't know how realistic it is to think it'll ever happen again.

I also struggle with large groups, like large discord servers, because "well everyone else is probably going to say or already has said anything I could contribute, and I can't keep track of everyone and all the conversations, sooo..." mutes server and only lurks or posts once and never again

To be completely honest - discord itself was pretty triggering to me for a while, to the point that I had to uninstall the app from my phone and only recently made a new account and haven't started actually regularly using it again yet. You can have my discord and you CAN invite me to servers, I'll just be even more skittish there than I am here.

I think a small to medium group setting is the closest to comfortable I feel in social situations at the moment. I don't feel entirely comfortable in any social situations but I'm trying to work on that hah

I need to post and reblog dumb shit and cool art for stress relief purposes. If you happen to see me reblogging goofy bullshit while not responding to conversations, it's safe to assume I'm at some heightened level of IRL distress and trying to take my mind off it, not chilling and ignoring you.

I think that's all the major stuff people should probably be aware of before hypothetically attempting to have conversations with me. I am trying really hard to be chill I would love nothing more in the world than to be chill hah. I'm workin' on it.

[videnrambles]

Assistant Manager Yuuji but also other shit is going on AU

Another VERY self indulgent AU that I've spent far to long thinking about by meeee (─‿─) ♡

Sometimes I like to imagine an AU where Yuuji was picked up by Ijichi for his weird ass strength. Because he can't see curses he can't be a sorcerer, but the higher ups are like "Somethings clearly wrong with this kid and we want to keep an eye on him."

So Yuuji becomes a test run for a body guard program that pairs widows/assistants up people who have heavenly restrictions(or are just weird little freaks in Yuji's case). Ijichi volunteered to help with his training because it meant being put on missions without Gojo.

I don't really have anywhere else to say this stuff but I wanna make note of a few things :P

The Itadori family are moved to Tokyo. Ijichi moves in with them to help with Yuuji's training. Wasuke likes Ijichi but thinks he doesn't eat enough and demands Yuuji fatten him up.

Gojo has yet to meet Yuuji but complains to anyone who will listen that the kid is a home wrecker for taking Ijichi away. Very few of the other managers are willing to put up him.

Gojo also gets jealous when he hears that Ijichi's student brings homemade sweets on every missions they go do together. None of his students love him enough to do that.

The managers and windows are all in a discord server. They use it to ask for help/advice on dealing with different sorcerers. There is a whole channel dedicated to complaining about Gojo.

Things start off pretty good, the first few weeks are easy, almost fun for the two. They go on low level missions where Yuuji is able to observe how sorcerers fight and work. He even gets to meet Kusakabe, who offered to help teach Yuuji how to fight.

But then things start to get weird.

Okay i have zero ideas for how to like scale weirdness so I'm just gonna list some stuff I've imagined and y'all can use your imagination.

Ijichi and Yuuji go against a curse that connects peoples dreams and feeds off their energy while they sleep.

Ijichi is given a super cool sci-fi gun

Registered and unregistered cursed weapons, objects and tools of varying grades keep showing up. Sometimes they appear in the car before missions, in their houses, hell Yuuji even got a 4th grade one in his happy meal. (it would be so funny if you sent in asks about this so i can talk about the definitely fake multi page document of ideas for cursed stuff, jk jk.. unless?)

I'm really bad about coming up with actual specifics and not just fun little scenes for me to think about. Basically just think gravity fall vibes. Getting into some very wild situations but usually home in time for dinner with Wasuke.

Idk maybe Sukuna gets trapped in an apple watch or something and Yuuji carries him around in hopes of domesticating him.

Essentially I want it to be like:

Random assistant: Where is Ijichi and his freak of a kid?! We need more help setting up for the event or the higher ups are gonna be pissed!! Yuuji who is trapped in an entirely different dimension and must go on a quest to find the Fairy Queens treasure and defeat the Evil Dragon Overlord to return home or their home will be destroyed: Do you think Grandpa will care if we're a little late for dinner? Ijichi who fell in the portal with him and is doing this for the 3rd time this week: Yuuji-kun we aren't leaving the classroom for a month after this, okay?

Anyway stuff happens, they get into weird scenarios but react with the same energy of someone who found hair in their soup at a restaurant. They're usually able to sort it out before the end of the day.

The higher ups don't really give a shit because the two usually report back at the end of the day no matter how weird the report is, and it's more than Gojo does.

Also Nanami and Gojo both have a thing for Ijichi and are competing for his attention. They are both failing because Ijichi is focusing on training his son right now. :)

There is 100% more details that I'm forgetting, but this is self indulgent and I don't care. Im definitely forgetting a few tags too but oh well.