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chimcharstar · 5 years ago

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1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay. nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok......

77. Have you ever drank underage?

78. Have you ever done drugs?

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger.

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

#chatty tag #WHEW

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karmanticmoved · 5 years ago

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1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

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ixhor · 7 years ago

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all of them. 💝

aight watch out this is gonna be a long ass post

1. selfieu can find all my selfies here or on my tag cassius.pic

2. what would you name your future kids?hmm maybe drew or hayden. i dont plan on having kids in my life tho3. do you miss anyone?lots of people, some that i dont know where they are anymore.

4. what are you looking forward to?the fucking ECLIPSE on MONDAY OKAY IM SO FUCKING PUMPED FOR IT I EVEN GOT THE ECLIPSE GLASSES AND EVERYTHIGN

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?@tsuchida and @riseupstarkid they are both the masters of humour and making me smile especially when im having a bad day

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?nah not rly im just salty for a couple days and then im pretty much over that person

7. what was your life like last year?shitty8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?almost9. who did you last see in person?uhhh my gf evelyn10. are you good at hiding your feelings?not my annoyance or anger, but everything else i think im pretty good at hiding11. are you listening to music right now?ya i already answered it but im now listening to adhd by kendrick lamar12. what is something you want right now?a therapist13. how do you feel right now?kind of shitty kind of numb its eh14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?uh??????????? idk15. personality descriptiontalkative, stubborn, truthful/honest, salty16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?all the time17. opinion on insecurities.everyones got em, and it fucking SUCKS bc everyone i meet is so beautiful but so insecure :~(18. do you miss how things were a year ago?NOPE19. have you ever been to New York?ya!! i used to live there & ive visited family members that live there as well20. what is your favourite song at the moment?2100- run the jewels 21. age and birthday?im age 2 and i was born on 00/00/000022. description of crush.FUCK I HAVE LIKE SEVEN CRUSHES AT THE MOMENT but they all have this thing in common: theyre fucking GORGEOUS and a year or two older than me 23. fear(s)the deep ocean, clowns, and everyone that i love all hating me24. height5′3 25. role modelidk26. idol(s)idk27. things i hateWHEN PEOPLE CHEW TOO LOUD AUGHHG I FUCKING HATE IT SO MUCH28. i’ll love you if…ur kind, u listen to me and how i feel, and give me love & affection 29. favourite film(s)that one movie called Devil where theyre in the elevator its an all time favourite of mine30. favourite tv show(s)criminal minds 31. 3 random factsi love mixed martial arts, i apparently look really good in the colour mint, and i have a dog named lovebug32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?mostly cis girls and nb/genderfluid ppl 33. something you want to learnfuckin uhhh probably a language??? maybe enochian or greek34. most embarrassing momentone time in the third grade i ran into a pole and i got a nosebleed lol35. favourite subjectart36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?already answered this i just wanna travel the world one day37. favourite actor/actressidk38. favourite comedian(s)bo burnam tbh

39. favourite sport(s)MMA and soccer40. favourite memorythe first time i went to this one ice cream place called Cherry Smash cos i got straight A’s on my report card 41. relationship statustaken by two amazing ppl42. favourite book(s)the hp series and the pjo/hoo series43. favourite song everidk44. age you get mistaken for17/18 years old idk how i thought i had a young face

45. how you found out about your idoldont have one46. what my last text message says“oh my fucking god”47. turn onsuh48. turn offsuh49. where i want to be right nowi,,,,,dont know50. favourite picture of your idoldont have one51. starsignsagittarius sun52. something i’m talented athating myself53. 5 things that make me happycrystals, small and shiny items, being surprised with something that i want, snakes, when my friends are happy54. something thats worrying me at the momentliterally everything at the moment55. tumblr friendstoo many ppl to tag but yall know who u are 56. favourite food(s)empanadas lol57. favourite animal(s)wolves and ravens and snakes and tigers!!!! 58. description of my best friendshes got short hair, blue eyes, and rly fucken pale and short oh hey whats up bea59. why i joined tumblri have no idea why i joined this hellsite

#cass answers #bea tag🐝#ayden #long ask

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justintimbershit · 7 years ago

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1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?XO - John Mayer Cabaret - Justin Timberlake Lights On - Shawn Mendes Bad Habit - The KooksHow Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran You’re Gonna Llive Forever in Me - John Mayer

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?literally John Mayer so I can ask him why the FUCK he played XO in Chicago and why that was only the 10th time ever and first and only time of TSFE tour he played it

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“Mom’s stumped us. We had absolutely no idea who she’d dredge” (I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson)

4: What do you think about most?how terrible life is and then how much i wanna die tbh

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Jena should i get dropped off at your house then we can go get joe & julie?” IOWA TOMORROW FOR ED :DDDD

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?always w shirt but no pants lol

7: What’s your strangest talent?hating life as much as i do idk i have no talent

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)girls r hot n nice boys r hot n mean

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?yeah bc we were in love lol :(

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? idk i usually dont

11: Do you have any strange phobias?feet, being alone but also being in large crowds, idk theyre not very weird

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?no?

13: What’s your religion?idk man none atm prob

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?looking forward to going inside. but working and therefore reading.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind bc i am ugly lol

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?um probably panic at the disco but then also the killers

17: What was the last lie you told?��its fine” bc no it is not fine i wanna fight

18: Do you believe in karma?ya i think so. maybe

19: What does your URL mean?i like Justin Timberlake and also swearing

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?weakness is probably just who i am as a person and strength is idk i dont have any

21: Who is your celebrity crush?lmao. you say this like i have one. i have many. like thousands.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?nope

23: How do you vent your anger?talk to someone usually

24: Do you have a collection of anything?movie/concert/sporting event tickets and also empty gatorade bottles on my floor

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?phone bc im ugly

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?eh. better than what i was but could be better

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?hate is my sisters voice lol love is john mayers voice bc he sounds like a fuckin angel

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?what if i was someone else but not really someone else just like what if i was me with a better life or a differnt life in which things didnt always go so terribly for me ya know

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts maybe but aliens def

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.right arm some paper hanging off my nightstand and left nothing

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?the faint scent of clean laundry and lotion

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?hm.. great question. i feel like ive been to some pretty bad places but i cant recall any???

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?ive never been to either but east coast i think

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?justin timberlake bc hes one of the most attractive men in the entire world

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?bein happy, doin what you want, livin

36: Define Art.something someone creates

37: Do you believe in luck?yes i do

38: What’s the weather like right now?humid i think

39: What time is it?9:41 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?nope to both

41: What was the last book you read?i recently finished “The Upside of Unrequited” and now im workin on “More Than This”

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?no i hate it it makes me nauseous

43: Do you have any nicknames?jules

44: What was the last film you saw?o fuck um fist fight maybe?

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?the sunburn i got in florida was terrible bc i couldnt walk for a day so im gonnna say that

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?no :(

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?brandon saad being a chicago blackhawk again, tommy la stella, john mayer, reading gay books

48: What’s your sexual orientation?bi

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?uuuuum possibly ??? idk

50: Do you believe in magic?nah but also maybe

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?in my mind yes but most of the times my actions dont reflect that especially if its been a while

52: What is your astrological sign?sagittarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?both. i allow myself to spend it as long as i still have a decent amount saved

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?lunch at panera lol

55: Love or lust?neither bc they both suck when ur alone

56: In a relationship?no lol

57: How many relationships have you had?zero

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?nope i am not talented like that

59: Where were you yesterday?yesterday. i think i stayed home all day then me mary and joe hung out and went to get milkshakes at steak n shake

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?the inside of the bra bra sitting waiting to be put away lol

61: Are you wearing socks right now?indeed

62: What’s your favourite animal?sloths my fav

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?i dont have one bc if i did ppl would like me, tf

64: Where is your best friend?at home id assume

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.whats tumblr

66: What is your heritage?im italian but i was born here and so were my parents

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?watching an episode of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia before i showered

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?satan satan

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?yeah lmao who hasnt tho

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?i think so sometimes but other times im the worst person ever idk how i have friends

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?fuck u boss i love dogs and if u hate dogs that much as to not understand the situation i dont wanna work for a dog hater. asshole.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?a. maybe probably b. everything ive never done but wanted to c. probably

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.fuck. um. shit. id say love but then u cant trust the person you love so like… but at the same time i love love so much i feel like id die w/o it n ya know i dont trust anyone anyways so im gonna say love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?srsly…..Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC bc i cant be sad listening to that song lolol

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?9077

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?communication n openness

77: How can I win your heart?just be nice to me lol i have low standards

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?yes i do believe so

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?buying tickets to see john mayer lol that changed my life so drastically. my life is now pre john mayer and post john mayer. he literally fucking sang xo i will never get over it that will always be the happiest moment of my life im crying while typing this

80: What size shoes do you wear?8 - 9 ½ depending on the shoe

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?‘probably died because she said she wanted to die so often that death got sick of hearing it and killed her.“

82: What is your favourite word?fuck

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.justin timberlake. god im so fucked lol

84: What is a saying you say a lot?'i hate my life’ 'i want to die’ 'u should fight’

85: What’s the last song you listened to?Fools Gold by One Direction lmao

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?turquoise

87: What is your current desktop picture?justin timberlake leaning on a car lookin all hot n shit

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?myself tbh

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?uuuum idk it depends whos askin ya know. id answer certain questions if asked by one peson but not another

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?probably cry and attempt but ultimately fail to go back to sleep

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?flying or teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?when john mayer played XO at my concert obviously

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?losing all the pictures on my computer bc i keep saying im over it but im really not that was the entire past 4 years of my life in pictures and videos and theyre just gone its bullshit

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?oh man. so many. but if i had to choose one justin timberlake. wow bet no one saw that comin

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?literally fuckin no where im seeing ed sheeran in a matter of hours im not leaving. but if it were a different day lol id say amsterdam or boston

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?not that im aware of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?when i was a smol child yea h but not recently

98: Ever been on a plane?when i was a child yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?um lol idk probably nothing tbh i dont wanna be held responsible for whatever happens afterwards

#questions

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mrblue91 · 8 years ago

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150 random questions

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream?

bite 2. What is home to you?

Where my loved ones are 3. What was the last lie you told?

My weight 4. Does everyone deserve the truth?

yes 5. What is the creepiest toy ever made?

Porcelain dolls 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation.

Yelled to a class mate during class over an argument of who should be in charge of the choir group. 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn’t mix them up.)

Working on homework at home

Saying no to hanging out 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something?

It’s been my whole life I never stopped. 9. How many all nighters have you pulled?

Too many 10. If humans didn’t evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead?

With odors 11. How many romantic “things” or “flings” have you had?

Not many, I don’t do flings. 12. What is your paradise?

In a forest surrounded by insects 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.)

Sounds of nocturnal nature 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken?

A few 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you?

Needs to have plenty of memory. I hoard pictures 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities?

Cause they’re good at what they do? nope 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you?

Treat me like a child 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this?

Yes, pros: I sound enthusiastic. Cons: I have high expectations 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments?

Yes, guitar, piano, harmonica 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not?

Yes, I’m a modern man 21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

Attention to detail

Organized

Good hair 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you?

Keep it in a hobbyist perspective 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not?

Not yet, I am too selfish 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day?

Eat good food or sleep 25. When was the last time you felt awkward?

Today during my osmoregulation lecture 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both?

Mixed 27. What constitutes a good friend?

Loyalty 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend?

Many friends 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear?

Theres been an accident 30. What is your dream job?

To hike and collect insects around the world 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent?

I’ve been able to get by with being lazy 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

I used to be 300lbs 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender?

yes 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most?

Avatar the last airbender 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended.

In high school I spent time with a guy for a month and he said rude things about my gf behind my back. 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don’t know. You can’t switch back. What do you do?

Work with what I got 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it?

Burn it 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken?

Entomology 39. Name the last book you read.

Stephen king hearts in suspension 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world?

I’d be more productive 41. When was the last time you made the first move?

I always do 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap?

It works at times 43. What was the last movie you watched?

Moana 44. Do you like and appreciate your life?

yes 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

yes 46. When was the last time you cried?

2 weeks ago 47. What are you scared of?

Losing my loved ones 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done?

Not know information and trying to wing a lecture 49. What are some of your hobbies?

origami 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

Telling people what to do 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend?

Yes, I encourage aspirations. I am bossy and needy 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes?

yes 53. What have you learned the hard way?

How to love 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness?

Communication 55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.)

Drawing, singing 56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker?

Creative 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

Work on my masters degree 58. What is your ideal meal?

Chickfila number 1 meal 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date?

Say they have kids 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite?

Yes, insects 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be?

Not recycling 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures?

Wouldn’t you like to know :P 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created?

Youtube 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games?

no 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today’s society?

It could be less objectifying 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up?

No 8am 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character?

Yes, Hercules 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside?

Countryside 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains?

ocean 70. What are the best things about winter?

skiing 71. What scares you most about the future?

My health and physical state 72. What makes you feel old?

Anyone 5yr younger than me 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average?

Too many 74. What are some of your New Year’s resolutions?

Go to the doctor more often 75. What is your life story in 6 words?

Gym, school, eat, sleep, bugs, him 76. Describe yourself in one word.

witty 77. What bad habits do you do?

Poke nose in public 78. What genre of music do you listen to?

indie 79. Most prominent childhood memory?

Cookouts and fish fries with the family 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don’t, how would this change your life?

Our relationship is not the best so it feels like having a distant friend. 81. Spirit animal?

Sperm whale 82. Do you believe in horoscopes?

No but theyre fun to read 83. What is the worst advice you’ve ever been given?

Keep smoking and forget about it 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now.

Mom, advisor, him 85. Favorite memory of your family.

Easter! 86. What do you look for in a relationship?

Intelligence 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not?

Steve Irwin, animal guru 88. What is your opinion on social media?

It can suck on something and choke on it. 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist?

Both 90. List some things that you think are overpriced?

Avocados, non-dairy milk, tropical fruits, jalapenos 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience?

Lucid dreaming a nightmare as a child 92. What superpower would ruin the world?

Mind control 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway?

I swore I would never stop going to into bounce arenas. 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they?

How to be kind, many movies 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?

Amazon rainforest 96. How do you approach people?

With a handshake and my name 97. What is your opinion on first impressions?

Theyre always wrong 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do?

Have a messy room 99. What languages can you speak?

Spanish and english 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years?

Hopefully its better than now 101. What do you do on your lazy days?

Sleep, watch shows 102. What ended your last relationship?

I fell in love with someone else 103. Favorite food?

Broccoli 104. What is the most terrifying dream you’ve ever had?

Not sure 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry?

When someone’s phone dies 106. What was the last friendship you broke?

It was during my undergrad, the one that got away, but were back together again. 107. Do you have any pet peeves?

Long nails on guys 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to?

idk 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed?

This week 110. What part of your personality do you want to change?

My selective hearing 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now?

Darren 112. What is your biggest motivation?

Fear and expanding knowledge

113. What did you want to be when you were little?

Bug catcher 114. What are some things that you are good at?

Singing, crafts, interior decorating 115. What is one thing you want to be good at?

dancing 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you’re trying to work?

myself 117. How important is privacy to you?

I don’t care unless im going to get it on ;) 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be?

Eating insects 119. What’s the craziest lie you’ve ever told?

“This is my roommate” 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties?

I climbed a mountain, went skiing, went to New Zealand, I’m from Texas 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do?

Try to one up a friend for no reason 122. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done to impress someone?

Write a letter 123. What is your morning routine?

Bfast, wash face, brush teeth, poop, change, apply acne cream, feed dragon, go to work 124. What’s the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

skiing 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you?

It would help 126. What is your opinion on playing “hard to get?”

It’s a waste of time 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward?

Its saves time, there are no cons 128. What do you consider “leading” someone on?

Not being strait forward 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned?

I am the friendzoner 130. What do you admire most about your friends?

They accept the real me 131. What do you admire most about your family?

They always support me 132. What is your opinion on “going with the flow?”

Its healthy 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening?

both 134. When is it time to end a friendship?

When they don’t put any effort 135. What is the worst excuse you’ve ever come up with?

I don’t feel like being social 136. If GPA didn’t matter, what courses would you have taken?

Nothing but entomology 137. What are your favorite baby names?

Idk 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone?

Yesterday 139. What instantly ruins a conversation?

Eves dropping and interruption 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs.

Pets, no pets 141. Biggest disappointment.

My motivation 142. Do you have any self-restraint?

yes 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone?

Yesterday 144. Prized possession(s)?

Insect collection 145. What is your opinion on second chances?

Theyre helpful 146. Text or call?

call 147. What do you like about the 21st century?

Technology 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago?

Follow your heart not your gut 149. How organized are you?

OCD 150. Favorite mode of transportation.

Bicycle

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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Everything You Need To Know About Choosing The Right Guy

The following is excerpted from the book Everything You Need To Know If You Want Love That Lasts.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. ~ Bill Maher

All the relationship advice in the world wont make any difference if youre choosing the wrong guy. This is the step that often gets missed or overlooked. Women hammer away, trying to pound the proverbial square peg into a round hole, then wonder what theyre doing wrong, why they cant seem to make it fit, why they cant get the love they want. You cant turn a losing stock into a winning stock. You cant force someone to change and to want what you want. You cant convince someone to feel a certain way about you.

I spent way too long chasing after guys who wouldnt or couldnt give me what I wanted, and then I wondered what was wrong with me when it didnt get me lasting love! The problem was simple: I was choosing the wrong men. It sounds straightforward enough, but its a very tricky thing. We fall for these guys because it feels so right, because were swept up in the passion, the chemistry, and the intoxicating aura of unavailability; we get sucked into the space that exists when someone is just beyond our reach and it makes us yearn for him. We convince ourselves that this is it, that hes the one and we just need to make him see it.

This is where the problems develop. This is where all the questions and tears and doubt and uncertainties and fears start to consume you. You mistake these feelings for true love because maybe youve never felt this way before, and you think it must be because this guy is different and this relationship is meant to last.

This is just a glimpse into the confusion that ensues when you choose the wrong guy. If youre hung up on a man who cant commit or wont commit or who is mean to you or who is just a mean person in general, a guy with baggage, a guy with serious issues, a guy who you think would be perfect if only he changed such and such, then youre setting yourself up to lose before you even begin, and you are blocking yourself from ever finding the love you want.

Where Healthy Relationships Begin

Before we talk about what to look for in a guy, its important to look at how relationships begin. The start of a relationship can oftentimes color our lenses and sometimes lead us down a bad path and into a toxic relationship.

Here’s a situation that may sound familiar to you (it was certainly a recurring theme for me in my single life!) You meet someone, something clicks, and suddenly it feels like a force outside of you has taken over.

After this encounter you can’tfor the life of youget this guy out of your head. You try to think about other things but nothing works. You ruminate over every detail of your interaction with himwhat he said, what you said, what his body language said. You think about the things you wish you had said.

You check your phone constantly to see if he called or texted. If he does, your stomach drops, your heart races, you want to leap off your seat and shout for joy. And then of course you need to figure out the exact right thing to say back to him, the perfect quip to show him that you’re perfect for each other.

The high continues as you venture into a relationship, and it becomes even more intense. You never quite know where you stand with him. The uncertainty keeps you on your toes, constantly on alert for something that looks like a bad sign or an ominous foreshadowing. This emotional rollercoaster is as thrilling as it is exhausting. You’re hooked. The worst possible thing that could happen is him leaving. It’s a fear you can’t quite shake no matter how promising the situation looks, a fear that drives everything you say and do.

Now another scenario.

You meet a guy, you think he’s nice and all, you have a good conversation, and he gets your number. While you’re pleased, you don’t go into a tizzy over it. You may check his Facebook profile, but only for a few minutes. You are happy to hear from him if he calls or texts, but you don’t notice the hours that pass in between your interactions. You go out a few times, not expecting much, but soon enough your interest and attraction begin to grow. Things feel calm, there’s no drama, no heart palpitations and it feels really nice.

Which relationship do you think has a stronger chance of survival?

Instinctively, you would say the second one. In real life, you would fall for the first. That’s because the first scenario illustrates everything we’ve ever been told about love.

In movies and romance novels, love is this grand, all-consuming force that takes you over in the most dramatic of ways. There are huge obstacles to overcome, but it’s OK because love conquers all! I mean, would any of us have cared for “The Notebook” if Ali and Noah were of the same social status, went on a few lukewarm dates, then got to know each other and developed a deepening connection over time? Don’t think so.

Unhealthy Relationships Start With a Pull

Relationships that start from a place of pure, unadulterated passion can seldom survive unless they have some substance and depth of connection to stand on. Explosive chemistry isnt what creates a lasting, healthy relationship. It can lead to great sex and feelings of euphoria, and you may come to understand why they say love is a drug, but no matter how intense and all consuming, that sort of thing is seldom sustainable long term.

When you feel a strong and sudden pull towards someone else, the kind that causes you to turn him from mere mortal to deity-like being, something sinister is usually at play. OK, maybe not sinister, but something that isnt exactly what you would term romantic. There are a few good reasons why we might become inexplicably drawn to someone who isnt good for us.

Imago Theory

This theory, developed by clinical pastoral counselor Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., posits that the pull we feel towards another person is guided by our unconscious desire to rectify some issue from our past. Imago is Latin for image, and the theory essentially states that we unconsciously seek partners who reflect the image of our primary caregivers so that we can try to heal lingering wounds inflicted by them by working through issues with someone in their image. These relationships present the opportunity to heal ourselves and become whole again, but they also pose the risk of continuing to pour salt into open wounds.

How it pans out is something like this: if your parents always made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you may seek out guys who make you feel like youre not good enough, then try to win them over in an attempt to rectify those painful feelings from your past.

If your father was very critical, you may find yourself drawn to a man who is very critical, trying to win his love and approval in order to heal from the hurt of your fathers rejection. These decisions aren’t conscious, they happen very deep beneath the surface in areas we can’t easily access. When we meet someone, we immediately sense everything about him, especially the way he makes us feel (again, this happens unconsciously).

On a conscious level, you may assess the things he says, but on an unconscious level, you’re looking at his body language, his tone, the way he phrases things, how much eye contact he makes, his whole demeanor. If your unconscious finds something familiar in that person, something that reminds you of an unresolved hurt from the past, it will light up and push you towards that person.

You may also unconsciously seek out partners who have some quality that is underdeveloped in you. For example, if you’re a Type A workaholic and always wished you could ease up, you may be drawn to a laid-back partner who isn’t so driven.

Maybe this sounds a little too New Agey to you, or maybe it doesnt describe your situation at all, but its a powerful concept and it has gained a

lot of praise and recognition in the field of psychology so its worth considering. I know Ive seen some of this at play in my own dating life.

Infatuation

Being infatuated sounds like a grand, romantic thing, but it can actually be quite dangerous. The problem with infatuation is it isnt based on anything real. Infatuation causes you to fall in love with an image rather than an actual person. It causes you to put someone on a pedestal and overlook his flaws. Since he’s so “perfect,” you become afraid to be yourselfI mean, how could your true self ever compete with perfection? You don’t want to say the wrong thing and scare him off, so you aren’t genuine in your interactions. You rely on his approval so desperately that you also become a bit needy. You may not act needy, but it’s something that lurks beneath the surface and he will pick up on it … men always do. You lose your sense of worth because it becomes so wrapped up in how he feels about you.

Healthy Relationships Build Slowly

Healthy relationships usually begin with mutual interest and attraction that grows over time. This is the complete opposite of unhealthy relationships, which usually start out with a grand light show that quickly simmers into ash. If you can internalize this, it will change the way you date forever.

The most important trait to develop is objectivity. No one really talks about that because its not so sexy, but if you want to find lasting love and prevent yourself from getting hurt, youll need to learn how to use your head a little more than your heart, at least in the beginning. Your heart can lead you into all kinds of bad places. Your heart is the one that tells you its a great idea to go for the bad boy whos just so dreamy, even when hes out on parole and struggling with addictions, or has told you he wont be in a committed relationship, ever. Your heart convinces you that the heart wants what the heart wants and who are you to deny your heart? Your heart doesnt operate according to reason or rational. It makes you do things that you later look back on and wonder, what was I thinking? But you werent thinking, thats not what the heart does. OK, I know Im being mean to the heart. It does have its benefits, but that comes later. In the beginning of a relationship, its best to remain as objective as possible and try to keep your emotions mostly contained.

The best way to do this is to try to go slowly. Ease into the relationship instead of diving in head first. This will create an environment for you to allow your level of interest and attraction to grow steadily over time, rather than flooding you all at once in a big emotional tsunami.

If you spend all your time with him, you risk overlooking critical information about who he really is and if the relationship is built to last. Just because two people feel strongly for each other it doesn’t always mean they can be together.

It is imperative to have a foundation of compatibility, shared goals and interests, and common values. Some things simply can’t be negotiated. Before you emotionally invest, it is wise to determine if you are fundamentally compatible. And the best way to do this is to go slowly. I dont necessarily mean physically, I mean emotionally.

When you first meet someone, you want to spend every minute of every day with him. You talk for hours and hours on the phone, text all day, you can’t get enough. The obvious reason this is problematic is because you may end up relying too heavily on the relationship for your happiness, but also, you don’t get a break from the emotional excitement and stimulation of it all. Then, if you realize this guy may not be right for you, you’ll be in too deep to get yourself out of the situation. You’ll instead rely on some clich like “love conquers all” to justify staying with him.

I am not saying to stay away from guys you feel a strong immediate attraction to and only date guys you’re only “meh” about. I think you should date both kinds of guythe infatuation guy could turn out to be a loser and the “meh” guy could turn out to be the love of your life. (I’ve seen it happen countless times!)

Either way you have to date smart. This will come more naturally with “meh” than it will with the object of your infatuation.

If you just met or just started seeing someone, I strongly advise that you try to limit how much time you spend with him early on. Try to not go on more than two dates a week or engage in marathon texting sessions that go all day. When you do this, you never get a break from the emotional high and you dont get a chance to come back down and recalibrate.

So many girls make the mistake of getting caught up in how the guy feels about them rather than focusing on how they feel about him.

You can avoid falling into this trap by doing regular reality checks. Make sure you see him and the situation clearly. The best way to do this is to make sure you can recognize his flaws. The way you know you’re infatuated is if you see no flaws. has flaws.

Why It Matters

When you get in over your head, you may convince yourself that something like him wanting to live only in the country and you wanting to live only in the city is not such a big deal. Someone who maintains a more objective perspective would acknowledge that she would be miserable living in the country, and since this guy wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else, she would get out of the situation.

I’ve seen (and personally experienced) many situations where a couple breaks up after a long period of time because of some issue that was apparent right from the beginningtheyre different religions, want to live in different states, one person doesn’t want kids. In every one of these situations, the couple believed that things would magically just work out. Imagine how much time and effort they would have saved and heartbreak they would have avoided had they been dating with their heads instead of their hearts from the beginning.

Qualities That Make Him a Keeper

A lot of women write to me begging to understand why their relationships always fail why guys treat them badlywhy they always get hurt … why they can’t get a guy to commit. The common thread in most of these cases is that these women are choosing men who clearly are not husbandor even relationshipmaterial and hoping that by some chance the men will suddenly transform into the knights in shining armor they want. This type of situation doesn’t exist anywhere aside from cheesy romantic comedies. If you choose to pursue a relationship with a guy who clearly isn’t relationship material, then you’re setting yourself up to fail before you even begin.

Trust me, I know all too well how enticing those damage cases can be. Sure, he has emotional issues, he’s jaded, he’s struggling at work, he has no direction, he still acts like a frat boy even though his acting-like-a-drunk-idiot-and-getting-away-with-it days expired years ago, but there’s a really great guy underneath all that and as soon as we deal with all this other stuff, then we’ll have an amazing relationship. I’m sorry, but no.

The problem with these damage cases is that they often have a lot of the qualities we want, but not the ones we actually need. There is a big difference between wants and needs when it comes to relationships, but it’s not always easy to make the distinction. You might want a guy who is tall and strapping and charismatic and a CEO of a major company, but a guy with those credentials might have a host of other qualities that arent good for you and dont fulfill your fundamental emotional needs. My husband is the opposite of the “ideal man” I had envisioned for myself, but even though he doesn’t have certain qualities I used to consider requirements, he is exactly what I need. That was clear to me and everyone around me very early into our relationship.

When I hit that stage in life where I realized I was done dating for the sake of dating and wanted to settle down and find “the one,” I realized that the kinds of guys I liked to date weren’t necessarily husband material, and I had to really examine my list of wants and needs and figure out the differences between the two. Doing so made all the difference. Suddenly the damage cases who were once oh so appealing did nothing for me.

Whether you’re single, dating, or in a serious relationship, these are the most essential qualities you need to look for in a man, the ones that tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s the one and this is it.

He loves your good qualities and accepts and embraces the bad without making you feel guilty for having flaws. You don’t need to hide your true self from him and put on a front in order to be what you think he wants. You can share your true self and be vulnerable and feel safe doing so, knowing that if anything it will make him feel even closer to you.

He is there for you when you need him, even if it’s inconvenient for him. A partnership will sometimes require sacrifice and compromise. Life is unpredictable and unexpected. You can’t predict what will happen and nothing can possibly go as planned 100% of the time. A guy who is husband material will be there for you when you need him. He will be in it with you; he will be your partner in whatever happens and will weather the storm with you, even though he might prefer to stay in the sunshine.

He considers you when making decisions, both big and small. A relationship is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Factoring you in shows that he respects you and that he wants to create a life with you, not simply envelope you in his world. Our worlds can be comfortable when we dont have to compromise, so it’s not always easy taking someone else into account and factoring in their wants and needs and preferences, but that’s what a relationship is.

He is growth oriented. No one is perfect; we all have flaws. And these flaws aren’t black and whiteusually a person’s greatest strength is linked to his greatest weakness. In a relationship, his behavior affects you (and vice versa) and sometimes his less developed traits will have a negative impact on you. A growth-oriented guy will want to work to strengthen his character. A guy who isn’t growth oriented will say its your problem and that this is just the way he is and you need to deal with it.

For example, let’s say you’re dating a guy who can be insensitive at times. Maybe he doesn’t give you emotional support when you’ve had a rough day and instead just gives you matter of fact advice in a direct way. His no-nonsense approach to solving problems might be useful to him in the workplace, but it might be hurtful to you sometimes when he doesn’t empathize with what you’re going through and instead just tells you what to do about it, or gets impatient by the fact that you’re upset over something he doesn’t consider to be that big of a deal.

You want a guy who will accept that his tone can come across as harsh and hurtful to you and who actually tries to work on it, not one who says it’s your problem and you need to deal with it. He probably won’t get it right every time, but if he’s growth oriented he will at least try.

He has similar beliefs and values. This one seems so obvious yet it’s so often overlooked. Love does not in fact conquer all. If you are not fundamentally compatible, you will face major hurdles ahead. If he is going to be your life partner, you have to make sure you are both on the same page when it comes to issues that matter. And if you aren’t on the same page, then make sure he respects where you stand (and vice versa) and that youre both willing to work together to reach a mutually fulfilling understanding about your differences.

Everyone’s values are different. For some, their values will be rooted in religion. Other people value a strong work ethic, while some value a commitment to a healthy lifestyle. It may sound trivial, but I’ve seen very serious, long-term relationships end because one person couldn’t deal with the other’s lack of ambition or motivation.

He views you as his partner. The relationship is something more than each of you individually … together, you and he are a team. And as that team, you are both individually stronger than you could be on your own. He sees you as his equal, as a person of great value, someone he can grow with. Not someone who is there to feed his ego, give him validation, be his emotional crutch, or be there solely to satisfy his needs.

He respects everything about youyour thoughts, ambitions, opinions, the things you say, the company you keep, your job. He doesn’t make you feel bad about your life circumstances and he appreciates the person you are and the choices you have made.

He wants to make you happy. One of a mans most fundamental needs in a relationship is to make his girl happy. It may not always feel like it or look like it, but its true. In order to truly bond with a woman, a man needs to feel like he can make her happy. And when a man truly cares for a woman, he wants to do whatever it takes to make her happy. Love is a selfless thing. If you love people because they make you feel great about yourself, then it isnt real love. When a man shows he genuinely cares about you and your happiness, even if it sometimes comes at the expense of his own happiness, then you know his feelings are for real.

He communicates with you, even about tough issues and even if one of you is upset with the other. With the right guy, you won’t be afraid of bringing up certain things for fear of rocking the boat. You know he respects you and will see what you have to say as valid and important. Every relationship will face its share of obstacles. There will be fights, miscommunications, arguments, and also times when one partner isn’t feeling loved. The only way to emerge from the tough times better and stronger is to work through them together, and this starts with open communication.

He wants the same kind of commitment you want. A guy can have all the qualities on this list, but if he doesn’t want to marry you (or commit in the way you want), or maybe doesn’t want to get married in general, then he is not for you. When a guy is ready to get married and meets a girl he thinks he can spend his life with, he knows pretty early on. That’s not to say hell get engaged right away, but he knows this is it and she knows it too. Maybe he tells her or maybe it’s so obvious he doesn’t even need to. It might be the wrong time, maybe he wants to wait until he’s more established in his career or more financially stable, but he will still convey his level of commitment; she won’t be left hanging and guessing and wondering.

If he still feels like he has wild oats to sow and is drawn to the single, bachelor, party-boy lifestyle, he is not commitment minded and you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If what you want is a serious, lasting commitment, make sure he is on the same page before you become invested. When a guy is ready for a serious commitment, it’s usually pretty obvious. And if it isn’t, then bring it up and discuss it with him. If he’s husband material, he’ll understand. If he isn’t then at least now you know before it’s too late! And yes, I understand that not every woman makes getting married a goal and I respect that. But Im speaking to those who want a lasting commitment, be it marriage or a partnership without a legal piece of paper.

But the Most Important Quality of All Is

He wants to make it work. Hes willing to put in any amount of effort. If there is a problem, he wants to find a way to solve it. He wants to work harder, to be better, to be his best self. The important thing to keep in mind is that people have different ideas about what it means to put effort into a relationship. He might believe that working hard and being good at his job is putting in effort because he wants to provide for you and give you nice things and a comfortable lifestyle. (I use this as an example because it’s a classic point of contention between men and women: she will often view him working too much as him putting no effort into the relationship and being married to his work).

I remember the exact moment I knew my husband was the one. After about a month of everything being perfect (as they usually are in the beginning), we had our first conflict. It was nothing major; we just started experiencing areas where our personalities clashed and seeing how we process things differently. I tend to be more intellectual and straightforward in my thinking, while he’s more emotional and dynamic in his thinking. I would get impatient with this, and my impatience was hurtful to him. The details don’t really matter, what matters is that I remember the way he brought the issue up and how sincere he was about working through things and getting to a place of better understanding.

I have seen countless variations of this kind of scenario: girl is dating a guy, things are going great (again, as they often do in the beginning), but then they hit that inevitable point of conflict. Maybe she acts needy or maybe he gets distant, but whatever happens suddenly things aren’t as seamless as they were the week before. Then he decides he can’t hang anymore and tells her he “doesn’t have time for a relationship” or he can’t give her what she needs. The girl racks her brain trying to figure out what she did wrong, what she could have done differently.

She thinks if she hadn’t been so needy, if she had been a little more chilled out, if she hadnt done this and instead done that. Really, the only way things would have turned out differently is if she had behaved perfectly according to his script, if shed never disagreed or been unhappy with him, if shed been perfectly in alignment with his thoughts and what he wanted in a partner. That sounds reasonable, right? (That’s sarcasm in case it didn’t come across!)

If a guy leaves when things get a little rocky, it means he is lacking in the most important quality you need in a partner, and that is a man who is committed not only to you, but to making it work. It’s easy to be in a relationship when everything is all sunshine and roses. The truth comes out after time goes on, when you let your guard down, when you can be more of yourselves instead of the absolute best version of yourselves. Even the best couples don’t seamlessly fit together. There is always a certain degree of work involved in order to create that deep and meaningful connection, and it has to come from both people.

When a guy is ready to settle down and sees you as a good potential partner, he wants to make it work. He wants to overcome the differences, to get to a place of better understanding. My husband and I are so different. The way we think and feel is different, and the way we communicate is different. In the beginning of our relationship this definitely caused problems, but now, after really committing to working on it, we have hit this amazing place of understanding and are so much more in sync. The differences still exist, but we were able to meet in the middle. Even when things got difficult, I wasn’t any less sure he was the guy for me because of how deeply committed he was to making it work.

A big mistake I see women making is blaming themselves when a relationship falls apart. They torture themselves with could haves and should haves. I should have been less needy, I should have been more agreeable, I could have been more supportive, etc. Yeah, you could have done all that, but it wouldn’t have mattered if he wasn’t committed to making it work.

There will always be differences, there will always be problems, you will not always behave exactly how he wants a partner to behave (same for him).

A relationship isn’t about finding the perfect match, it’s about finding someone you can form a meaningful, lasting partnership with. Notice the word form. It’s an active process; it doesn’t just exist. It’s about working together, being a team, and overcoming the challenges.

Some people have deal-breakers and that’s that. Maybe it’s religion or where to live or lifestyle preferences. But all the other stuffpersonality quirks, your nature, your ways of interacting in social settings, your fundamental traits … either he’s in it or he’s not. And if he’s not, then there is nothing you can do.

Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

Every relationship is different and comes with a unique set of circumstances. However, there are some universal standards that indicate a guy isnt the right one for you, a few red flags that should never be ignored but usually are.

You Don’t Trust Him

Without trust, there is no relationship. Period. In a good, strong, healthy relationship you feel at ease. You feel safe. You feel secure. You do not feel constantly panicked and on edge, always anticipating the proverbial other shoe to drop.

If you don’t believe the things he tells you or are always questioning his motives and his whereabouts, there is something majorly amiss. You can’t spend your life constantly on the lookout; that’s just exhausting.

Sometimes a lack of trust develops because of something substantial. Maybe he cheated, maybe you caught him in a few too many lies. And sometimes it’s something that lingers in the pit of your gut. Even though you can’t quantify the reason, you just don’t feel like you can trust this person. Either way, it’s a big red flag and a major sign that your relationship isn’t going to last.

If he cheated on you or lied to you, then you’ll have to be honest with yourself when you decide if you can truly move past it and if you really, genuinely believe that he’ll never do the same thing again. If you can’t get to that place, then there isn’t much point in sticking it out. You’re just setting yourself up for a life in which you always feel paranoid and insecure. Relationships are supposed to bring out your best, not your worst.

If you can’t quite pinpoint the reason for your trust issues, you should listen to your gut. Our gut instincts can be incredibly powerful. Just make sure you aren’t projecting your own insecurities onto him and aren’t making him pay for the sins of a cheating/lying ex.

There Is No Depth of Connection

Sexual chemistry is great and is definitely important, but that alone can’t sustain a relationship. An amazing sex life is only one piece of the puzzle, yet for a lot of couples it’s the only leg the relationship has to stand on. I know so, so many women who got so engulfed by the intoxicating chemistry they experienced with their partner that they overlooked every sign that clearly showed he wasn’t the one and wasnt even that great of a person.

For a relationship to last, you need to have depth of connection. You need to know your partner intimately, and this goes way beyond his bedroom skills. You need to know who he is, what he wants out of life, and what his hopes, dreams, and fears are. You need to connect to each other in an honest, unguarded way.

Each person is composed of many layers. In our lives, some people see the surface layer, a select few see what lies beneath the exterior, and very few see straight to the core. Your life partner should be in the last group.

Knowing the basics about someone isn’t knowing who they are. If you know the same things about your guy as most of the other people in his life, then you don’t have much depth of connection. Fortunately, this issue is one that can be fixed. Try to make an effort to connect to him in a real way. If he resists, or you still don’t feel like youre connecting in a significant way, then it means he’s probably not that invested in you or the relationship. Or maybe you’re just not the right fit for one another.

Attraction and sexual chemistry are never enough to sustain a relationship. If that’s all you have thats fine, but you might want to move on if you’re serious about finding the one.

Lack of Respect

Respect is the most overlooked element when it comes to making a relationship work, but it’s one of the most essential. If you’re going to have a long-lasting, healthy relationship, you must respect your partner and he must respect you.

Respect is huge for guys. In fact, I’d say it’s the number one thing men want out of their relationship. Just as most women need to feel loved and adored, men need to feel respected and admired. A man needs to feel like the man; he needs to feel respected. If you don’t respect him or the way he lives his life, he will resent you and will not want to be with you long term.

At the same time, you need to be with a partner who respects you. This means he respects you as a person: your beliefs, your aspiration, and especially your boundaries.

Eye rolling has actually been shown by famous relationship researcher John Gottman to be a big predictor of divorce, and it’s no surprise eye rolling is a manifestation of contempt, which is the opposite of respect.

He Brings out Your Worst

As I mentioned earlier, relationships are supposed to bring out your best.

The sad fact is, a lot of women end up shackled to a person who brings out their worst.

Sometimes you might not even recognize the person that your relationship has turned you into. That was definitely the case for me many years back before I knew any better. I made the same mistake countless women make. I got so caught up in my feelings for the guy that I overlooked the fact that I didn’t really like myself all that much when I was around him.

Throughout the course of my yearlong relationship with Eric, I was unrecognizable from my previous confident, happy, positive self. Instead I felt insecure, panicked, anxious, and perpetually on edge, but I couldn’t let go because of my strong feelings for him. Those feelings locked me in a tight grip, and it was only when the relationship inevitably imploded that I was able to see just how toxic the situation truly was.

It wasn’t that he was a bad guy; he was just bad for me. It’s a fact that would have saved me years of heartache had I realized it sooner. While getting myself out of that relationship felt impossible, the end was always inevitable because we brought out the worst in each other.

The point is, a relationship should lift you higher, not drag you down. It should help you reach your potential and become the best version of yourself. Of course relationships can’t be all sunshine and roses all the time. They take patience and work. But this work leads to a positive place, a place of growth and understanding and more love and connection. Bad relationships are ones where the work involved is expending energy on fighting and arguing and trying to win. A relationship wont always feel perfect and pleasant, but overall it will help you grow into a better person, as long as youre with a good guy who is committed to making it work and loves and appreciates you for who you are.

He Doesn’t Take Responsibility

One of the biggest relationship red flags is when someone wont take responsibility for anything and instead blames you, maybe using a justification along the lines of, “Well I wouldn’t yell at you if you weren’t being so annoying.” Rather than admitting when hes wrong, he comes up with excuses and justifications for his behaviors and reasons to blame you.

One of the biggest indicators of psychopaths or sociopaths is not being able to take responsibility; its a fundamental lack of empathy that prevents them from ever being able to see the other persons perspective. However, it doesnt always start out this way. In the beginning hes enraptured by you and everything you do is right. Then suddenly he’s unhappy and he blames you for everything that’s wrong. If you erroneously reason that youre the problem, he may feed this mentality. You don’t inspire him enough, you don’t give him what he needs, you arent supportive enough, youre always negative. It’s always you, never him.

Im not saying every guy who cant take responsibility is a psycho; he could just be immature. But it is something to keep in mind because narcissists are out there and this is one of their key features.

Hes Selfish

I have a friend who was seeing a guy she really liked, and she continued to date him even though he was clearly a bit immature and selfish and not ready to settle down (we joked that he had her sexmotized and thats why she wasnt able to break free of his spell). There were signs of trouble all over the place, but most were little things and thats why they were easy to sweep under the rug.

For example, one night she suggested they go to a vegetarian Indian restaurant she loved, and he got all pissy and said there wasnt a point in going out for Indian food if he couldnt eat meat. Never mind the fact that he always chose the restaurants, that they always did what he wanted, that they always slept at his apartment because thats what he wanted, or the fact that he had told her to pick a place for dinner. It was the one time she got to decide something, and she was overruled because it wasnt what he wanted.

This may seem like a silly example, but it demonstrates the essence of selfishness, one that will continue to pop up when dealing with a selfish person. And in that relationship, it did, over and over until finally she couldnt take it anymore and ended it. (This launched the make-up and break-up cycle for a while, because thats what happens when you linger in a relationship with the wrong guy, but eventually they cut it off for good.)

Selfish people also tend to engage in selfish love. That is, they love you when you make them feel good; when youre behaving how they want you to, theyre the best partners ever. When you go off script, then they withdraw and wont do anything for you in a sort of tit-for-tat retaliation.

Thats not how a relationship works. A relationship isnt there to serve one person. Its a partnership and its about working together, not one person working for the other.

Let Your Gut Be Your Guide

I mentioned the importance of listening to your gut earlier and want to get into it a little deeper because its an essential skill, one that can keep you out of sticky situations. f At the end of the day, you usually already know the answers to your dating questions. The lists I provided of qualities to look for and red flags to watch out for can help you see things more clearly, maybe making it harder to hide from whats right in front of you, but oftentimes you already know. You know when a guy isnt worthy of youwhen youre wasting your time, when youre not being treated the way you would like to be treated or the way you know you deserve to be treatedbut you push this knowledge down because you just dont want to deal with it. You dont want to deal with a breakup, with putting yourself back on the market, with dating more guys, navigating the waters, trying to find a guy who cares about you. You dont want to because its exhausting! It seems somehow easier to stick with whats broken and try to just make it work.

In a good, strong, healthy relationship, you feel loved and secure. You don’t question whether your man is using you and if the things he says are genuine. You just feel at ease. Feeling constantly on edge, waiting anxiously for the other shoe to drop, is usually a sign that something is amiss and your instincts are trying to open your eyes to a reality you don’t want to see.

Your gut is a powerful tool in relationships. It’s something we all possess and it can be fine-tuned to work optimally. The way to get in touch with it is to listen to what it’s telling you. Listen to that small, quiet voice that gently tells you: “You deserve more than this, you don’t need this guy.”

The voice of your ego is loud and overpowering. It tells you “Of course hes the guy for you! So what if he disappears for days at a time, he told you that you were the most amazing women he’s ever met, so I mean, DUH! He loves you.”

Your ego shouts over the noise and convinces you that the outcome you want is reality because it has a lot at stake should this not be the case.

Most people allow their egos to get so entangled in their relationships that when the relationship collapses, their ego comes crashing down with it and then absolute misery ensues.

Our unconscious mind has a whole arsenal of information that our conscious mind doesn’t have easy access to. It has stored up pretty much everything that’s ever happened to us and makes decisions accordingly.

Have you ever met someone and liked him right away even though you barely knew him? Or maybe you meet someone who seems perfectly nice, but you just can’t stand her? This is the unconscious at work. The people we’re drawn to oftentimes remind us of people we’ve had positive encounters with in the past. So too with the people we don’t like right off the bat.

You can pick up on things subconsciously without even realizing it, and it will cause you to have a feeling that you can’t quite pinpoint or explain.

The point is, most of the time you already know the answer. The problem is that you wish it were a different answer so instead of accepting it you whittle away what you know with rationalizations.

Here are a few tips to help you get better acquainted with your gut:

Ask yourself a question and listen for the immediate answer. For example, if you’re debating whether or not to dump your boyfriend, ask yourself: “Should I break up with him?” and listen to what first pops into your head. The real answer will most often come first, and then the excuses and justifications will pile on top.

Make the decision and then listen to your body. If it’s a bad decision you’ll feel an aversion to it, usually in the pit of your stomach.

Check with a friend. It can help to get an outsider’s perspective because sometimes we can mistake wishful thinking for our gut instincts. Talk to a friend you trust for a dose of objectivity.

Practice mindfulness. Most people live their lives bouncing from one thing to the nextwork, errands, happy hour. There isn’t that much time to listen to our own thoughts. Try to stay mindful and conscious throughout the day and check in with yourself to see what you’re thinking and feeling. It also helps to set aside some reflection time. You can use this time to meditate, do yoga, journal, take a walk around the parkanything that will give you the space to check in with yourself.

Remember this: Choice is everything. It will largely determine if a relationship succeeds and lasts or fails and leaves you broken-hearted. The good news is that you have the power to choose the man you let into your life. Choose wisely!

Love doesnt have to be that hard, by Sabrina Alexis is available here.