#but they're also like actual words and having it be used as a ship tag may complicate things
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Hi! I just had a funny interaction and it kinda reminded me of the stuff I see sometimes on your blog.
So I posted something that was certainly Azula critical (and definitely anti-Azula stan, I'm pretty sure I tagged both) and I had three or four people start discourse with me over it, which is fine and all. But the funny part is one of those people was a grown person with a JOB that decided that they were not going to conduct any analysis but instead just make personal attacks at me the whole time, which they freely admitted. Once they started, another joined in and kept going until I stopped contact with both of them.
Now for context, I'm a high school senior in six different APs, captaining a girl's lacrosse team and my Taekwondo demo team, and I'm fairly active in four or five other minor extracurriculars. The point is, I'm a busy person. Tumblr is a simply creative outlet for me to connect with people who share my interests. And yeah, as an 18 year old who just started making analysis posts on a website where I'm surrounded by many more older individuals, I know my posts aren't all that refined. But I still feel like I was able to articulate my thoughts in a decent enough way. However, not only was I not able to convince others of my viewpoints (which I'm ok with tbh), I also received some hurtful comments that's definitely turned me away from having any discourse in this fandom at all.
So this is all basically lead-up to two questions:
Since you have a lot of experience in this sort of writing, do you have any advice for making an argumentative essay/meta on fandom related content (characterization, relationships, etc)?
Are you supposed to respond to or ignore unproductive comments/personal attacks? Am I letting them win if they have the last word?
To be completely honest, even if it's not my number 1 choice, I think Zutara is a fascinating ship that makes a lot of sense (more than Kataang for SURE smh). Reading your posts on them have been incredibly insightful and it's given me a lot of respect for the ship. I just wish I could write something like that, mainly for my own satisfaction. It's frustrating seeing characters like Azula being obliterated in fandom and being put into a little box of either girlboss or victim when she's so much more nuanced than that. That's what I was trying to communicate, and I did say multiple times that I saw her as more than just one or the other, but it definitely came across wrong. This was my first experience writing any sort of meta and it's definitely been a failure.
Hello! As a grown person with a job, let me first say this:
You do not owe anyone a reply, argument, or justification, ever.
Understanding this will help you with avoiding a lot of pointless discourse. And I'm not saying I'm always the best at avoiding it, but I did witness what happened with you and the Azula stans, and you did nothing wrong. Your original post was very well reasoned and fair. The people who were attacking you over it were being overly defensive and are well known for their ridiculous takes and toxic behavior, and twisting the narrative to make Azula seem like she's been unfairly villainized by the narrative, other characters, and fandom.
If anything, you were being nice by apologizing for being "antagonistic," even though you were being no such thing and they attacked you, and that's why they took the opportunity to attack you more. The thing is, though, that they were being manipulative. Which is unsurprising, since all of their arguments defending Azula follow the same rhetorical patterns.
I'm not saying don't be nice and don't apologize, but you don't have to apologize for people taking your arguments in complete bad faith and using that to try and hurt you. They are the ones in the wrong, and they're the ones perpetuating harm. And if they can convince you that it's actually you doing harm, that's one way they can try and harm you. That's why they kept responding to you, because you were nice and they saw an opportunity to harm you. Not because there was anything wrong with your arguments, which were very eloquently put and well-reasoned.
It actually really worries me when I see these kinds of interactions. I joke about Azula stans acting this way because I'm an adult and I know how not to take their bullshit seriously, but what they are doing can perpetuate real harm if they can convince enough people that they need to apologize for imagined harm. I've seen it happen many times in fandom spaces that became abusive because a loud minority is able to convince enough young, impressionable people of the threat of harm. On a meta level, it's just like what Ozai and Azula do to Zuko by convincing him he is to blame and using that as a justification to hurt him.
Anyway, it's perfectly acceptable to block and ignore people who act this way, and probably preferable for your own mental health. Again, I'm not always the best at taking this advice, and I know what it feels like to get sucked into an argument about stupid fandom stuff, but it is always okay to just walk away. Letting someone have the last word doesn't mean you've lost. It means you're not letting yourself be dragged down to their level, which is often what these people are seeking to begin with. There's an African proverb that goes "if a madman steals your clothes and you run after him, you're still the one running naked in the streets."
If somebody wants to run naked in the streets, just let them do it. You don't have to run after them.
(Ironically, I said this to a coworker the other day, too. Being an adult with a job doesn't guarantee you never have to interact with shitty people, unfortunately.)
On that same note, I appreciate the compliment about my zutara posts, but it's okay if you don't like the ship. Shipping is a personal choice and you don't have to have reasons for why you do or don't ship something. If my posts resonate with you, great! But I'm not here to convince anyone of anything.
Anyway, have a nice day and take care of yourself! You seem like you have a solid head on your shoulders, so don't let fandom stuff get you down.
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Face to face
Din Djarin x f!Mandalorian!Reader
Summary: as riduurs, you and Din can finally show your faces to each other without suffering any consequences. but when the time finally comes, your insecurities and fears of rejection come into play, threatening to ruin this important moment
Tags: just pure tooth-rotting fluff, Din and Reader being insecure, they're sweethearts though and so in love, Din being a supporting husband <3, mandalorian customs are probably half-accurate but i did my best in research 😌
Word count: 3K
A/N: haiii guys!! long time no see 🤗 i had this idea ever since i watched s2 of the mandalorian almost a month ago and i'm finally done! thank you to all who stick around and i really hope you'll enjoy my first attempt at writing din (feel free to let me know what you think 🤭)! i love all of you darlings 🥰 and as always, happy reading!! 💕
Din Djarin wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone, but he always wanted a family. The memories of his parents were hazy, but he remembered how much they loved each other and in the depths of his soul longed for a connection like this someday. Being the bounty hunter didn’t give many opportunities to look for a relationship, however, and with time he abandoned the hope for a place and people he could call home. He convinced himself that he was content being on his own.
But then the Child came along, and with it everything has changed. This little wrinkly womp rat became the most precious being in his life and Din was ready to die to protect Grogu – but he never expected that he’d also meet his future riduur because of the kid.
He did. You, a fellow Mandalorian Din spoke to only a couple of times in the hideout on Nevarro, decided to help him on his quest, and from this moment on he didn’t stand a chance. You were everything Djarin admired – brave, compassionate, skillful and kind – and though you both respected the Way of the Mandalore and never removed your helmets in each other’s presence, he knew in his soul that you were beautiful as well.
It was a long road to come to terms with what he felt for you and gather the courage to actually let you know it. But it was all worth it just for this moment when you exchanged your vows and he officially became yours, and you his. Now you were his riduur and he finally had every right to admire and cherish you like you deserved.
And most importantly, he could finally see you. The pair of you talked about this moment a lot during the nights spent on the Crest, tangling your fingers together when the ship was flooded with pitch-black darkness. Din used to whisper to you of his dreams, how he longed to run his eyes over your uncovered body, taking his time to commit to memory every little detail of your physique and expressions. You, with a giddy and wistful tone, told him how impatient you were to at last find out how his lips would feel on yours and what color his eyes were. Even when you both knew you were going to marry, you didn’t rush things and never removed your helmets until your union became official.
But you did see each other’s faces, once, though not in a conventional way. Din remembered it clearly as a day, though his eyes – as well as yours – were covered by a piece of a material the entire time. Both of you were desperate for each other that night, the tension hanging above your heads straining the resolve about waiting. And then came the moment when you didn’t fight it anymore. Instead, you both sat down on Din’s cot and without your sense of sight spent the next hour talking and trailing fingertips down each other’s faces.
Din reminisced about this moment a lot of times. He tried to remember the shape of your features to create a full picture of you in his mind while he laid alone in his bed, longing for your vicinity. Even if your bodies were separated only by the layers of beskar, it was still too far for him.
He didn’t have to wait any longer now.
It was the day of your wedding and Din Djarin never felt happier than in that moment when you recited Mandalorian vows and he got to touch your bare hand again, not covered by a glove, to put a custom-made ring on your finger. It wasn’t a necessary but he wanted to make this day memorable and meaningful for you. A few tears of joy were shed, but his face was still concealed by the helmet, allowing his emotions to take hold of him.
He hadn’t let go of your hand since the small ceremony (if one could even call it that) ended, and you squeezed his palm every few steps as you walked toward a house that was going to be your home for the next couple of days. The Child was being taken care of by other Mandalorians so that you could be completely alone for this special moment.
You were buzzing with excited energy for the whole week prior to your wedding, but now Din could sense his partner’s nervousness. He wasn’t exactly surprised – after all, it has been years for both of you since anyone saw you without your helmet on. But with every moment that you neared the bedroom, you seemed more insular, more withdrawn and hesitant, and Din started to really worry.
“Are you okay, cyar’ika (darling)?”
You slowed down, not answering right away, which caused Din to furrow his brows with confusion. Maybe you didn’t want to do it after all? Maybe it was too sudden for you? Or maybe he came off as too eager?
“Cyar’ika,” he repeated softly, wanting to put you at ease – but it didn’t seem to meet the target. “If you’re not ready…”
“No. No, I’m ready. I just…”
You trailed off. Din wordlessly guided you to the edge of the bed, cradling your hands in his – one gloved one and one not. The light of the setting sun flowed in through the small window and reflected off the hard beskar you both wore, bathing your figure in a beautiful golden light.
He was already so in love with you. What could possibly be the cause of your hesitation?
“I’m just nervous,” you murmured at last with your head bowed, looking at your joined hands. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”
“Disappointed?” the Mandalorian repeated before he could think, and shook his head slightly. “What are you… What are you talking about? Why would I ever be?”
You lifted your gaze, and though Din couldn’t see your eyes, he could almost feel the weight of your fears on his own shoulders. The modulator in your helmet was hiding any trace of it, but he knew you long enough to recognize the tiniest shift in your body language.
“Ner kar’ta (my heart). I could never be disappointed with you.” He laced his fingers with yours, once again admiring how perfectly they fit together, and lifted them to his chest. “You own my heart and soul now, and nothing will change that.”
He hoped to soothe your nerves, but you were still silent. It wasn’t at all what Mando was expecting from this evening and he was at a loss for what to do to fix it.
“Would it help if I showed you my face first?” he asked after some time, and your head snapped up.
“No.” Even with the modulator, your voice clearly sounded broken and regretful, and it was wounding Din more than anything else could. “We were supposed to do it together.”
“We can,” he assured quietly, swiping his thumb over your knuckles. “But the most important thing to me… is for you to feel comfortable during it. If you want to wait–”
“I don’t.” You untangled your hands from his hold and instead brought them to his chest, placing them on the beskar breastplate. He couldn’t wait to take it off and feel your touch on his skin. “If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t marry you and make you my riduur.”
You leaned forward and lightly bonked your helmets together, a sweet gesture Din loved since the first time you did it.
“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum or’atu an mayen. (I love you more than anything.) More than life itself.”
“I know,” he answered simply and delicately brought your hands to the edges of his helmet. It was obvious what he was offering you. “That’s why I’m willing to do it for you.”
You were still, not daring to move, and Din nodded slightly to show you that he’s certain of his decision. His heart was beating heavily in his chest, though, and he could feel sweat forming on the back of his neck.
Showing your face to others was one of the worst crimes in Mandalorian culture, but doing it with your riduur was the highest honor that not everyone was fortunate enough to experience. But Din Djarin was among the lucky ones. Even though it was not in a way he always imagined, he didn’t care as long as you were happy.
You gripped the edges of his helmet tighter and a high hiss sounded, a telltale sign that the metal piece was ready to be removed. And slowly – so very slowly – you did. Din felt a flow of cooler air on his hot skin: first his chin, then his cheeks, finally his forehead…
And lastly, he inhaled shakily before lifting his head to look into the void of your visor.
A second passed by. Then two. Then ten, though Din felt like it must’ve been a full minute now. And still you didn’t move, just watched him silently, motionless as a statue.
The Mandalorian swallowed with difficulty, starting to feel very self-conscious. The crisp air cooled the sweat gathering on the nape of his neck and he had to use all his self-control not to fiddle his fingers nervously. He felt so naked and exposed under your gaze, though he absolutely shouldn’t – you were his riduur and there was no reason to feel ashamed or insecure with you. But he couldn’t help worrying: what if he wasn’t what you expected? What if you didn’t find him attractive at all?
Then a movement of your hands drew his attention and he watched, transfixed, as you slowly started to take off your glove, tugging one finger off at a time. Once your hand was freed from the confines of the protective material, you flexed your fingers before lifting both of your palms to his face.
Even though Din was acutely aware of your every move, he still somehow flinched in surprise at your touch, causing you to freeze and search his eyes with the air of concern around you. He quickly gave you a small nod, silently begging you to proceed, and, thankfully, you did. Your fingertips traced his cheeks, so delicately it almost tickled, brushing down the path to his stubble, and then back up to the arch of his nose and eyebrows. Djarin’s eyelids fluttered closed and he let out a shaky breath, giving in to the most amazing sensation that your touch was.
“I knew you had to be the most beautiful being in the galaxy,” you whispered from under your helmet with a voice filled with a plethora of raw emotions. Din regretted not being able to see your face at that moment, but if it would help you feel more comfortable in such a memorable and important situation, he was ready to do anything for you.
“I’m sure you’re a million times more radiant, cyar’ika,” he said back. His voice was weirdly weak and raspy, sounding strangely to him – probably because he knew there was another person hearing him without his helmet on. “Even if I don’t see your face, mesh’la (beautiful), today or ever… The love I have for you will never change or waver. That I promise.”
“It won’t exactly be fair to the Creed if I don’t remove my helmet in front of my husband,” you answered, half-teasing, but Din knew there was a real worry behind your words.
“You know very well there’s nothing said about it in the Creed.” He opened his eyes, offering you a small smile. “And I don’t remember our vows mentioning it, either.”
You clicked your tongue with exasperation, but Din also saw your shoulders relaxing, a sign that some of your nerves ebbed away.
“Gev bic (stop it),” you laughed, letting your hand fall down – but before it could happen, Din caught your wrist and lifted it back to his face. He slowly kissed the inside of your palm, down to the veins disappearing under your sleeve, his eyes fixated on your visor the entire time. His smile grew slightly when he felt a shiver run through you.
“I love you, ner kar’ta,” he whispered. “Even if you’re a half-Hutt under your armor.”
“Don’t push it.”
You let go of his hand and Din’s face fell, fearing that he really went too far. He reached for you but stopped when you straightened up and took a deep breath, your hands going to the last thing that separated you from him – your helmet.
He held his breath and his heart beat erratically as he watched you. He tried not to blink, not wanting to miss the moment when he finally got to see your face. Just the fact that you were willing to do this meant so much to him, but…
Slowly, you took your helmet off and placed it down on the mattress right next to his. Then, a pair of irises gazed into the depths of Din Djarin’s heart.
…you were wrong.
Oh, how wrong you were.
There was no mistaking it that you were by far the most breathtaking sight the Mandalorian had ever laid his eyes on.
The Maker must’ve been overly generous, or maybe favored you, for looking at you… it felt like coming home.
You stared at him with gentle, tentative eyes of the most beautiful color in the world, and Din would’ve gladly lost himself in them. Your lips, so tempting and soft-looking, were parted slightly as you awaited his reaction, but he couldn’t move. He just watched, spellbound, and wondered if this truly is reality and not some cruel, elusive dream.
He hadn’t felt such awe even when he saw Grogu doing his magic for the first time. Hadn’t felt such elation even when a new skin made of beskar was forged just for him. Had never before felt such love in his life.
You were a wonder. A miracle.
“Cyare?”
Your voice sounded almost fearful to your ears, but you couldn’t help it – Din seemed unable to utter even a word, and panic started to flood your veins when you noticed tears gathering in his dark, beautiful eyes. “Din–”
But before you could move away, he slipped off the bed and knelt by your feet. You were so taken aback by this action that you didn’t even react when he cradled both of your hands in his and pressed lingering kisses to your fingers, one after another.
“If I could, I’d marry you all over again,” he rasped, meeting your gaze with so much love and adoration in his brown eyes that it took your breath away. “How did I get so lucky…?”
“I think I’m the lucky one,” you let out a breathless laugh of relief, your pupils darting across the lines and grooves of his face. “You… you’re not just saying that, right?”
“Cyar’ika, look at me.” He gently tilted your chin up, making your eyes meet his. For a second he faltered, parting his lips in wonder at the feeling of your skin under his fingertips, before he swallowed and gazed at you again. “Do you doubt my words?”
No. There was really no questioning his motives. You knew Din was as honest as one could be and there were only your own insecurities at play here. But the longer you looked at him, his expression so full of love and devotion, the less relevant your own doubts were becoming.
You couldn’t think of anything else but him.
“I really want to kiss you,” you whispered instead of answering, and his face broke into a wide, joyous grin. “Can I–?”
The Mandalorian didn’t even wait for you to finish – the second those words left your mouth, he surged forward and pressed his lips to yours forcefully, eliciting a surprised sound out of you, which soon turned into a needy whimper. You didn’t give him a chance to back away and instantly tangled your fingers into his hair, moving clumsily to be closer to him.
But when you attempted to climb onto his lap, your breast plates collided with a metallic clank, forcing the pair of you to put some space between you. Din huffed with frustration, while you laughed and cupped his face in your hands.
“You’re quite impatient for a bounty hunter,” you accused him playfully, nudging your nose with his. You took a deep, calming breath, wanting to surround yourself with the smell of him completely, but your riduur didn’t let you indulge for long.
He moved quickly and, without a warning, kissed you briefly again – and then one more time. It was more like a light peck, and you longed to feel his tongue inside your mouth once more, but at the same time relished in every sensation that his lips brought. Every touch he gave you was something infinitely precious.
“I’ve waited longer than you,” he murmured. His hands were already moving, taking off the beskar on his forearms and shoulders, reaching where he could without removing you from his lap just yet. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me, cyar’ika.”
You smiled widely and looked up from his deft fingers to throw another teasing comment, but in one second you lost your train of thoughts.
Because Din was blushing.
The feared Mandalorian’s face – a face you were finally allowed to see whenever you desired – was sprinkled with redness across his cheeks and ears. And you were the cause of that.
The thought of it almost caused your eyes to water.
“What are you looking at, mesh’la?”
Your eyes found him again and you smiled brightly, causing Din’s heart to skip a couple of beats.
You took his stubbly chin in-between your fingers and brought his lips closer, planting a soft kiss there that had the Mandalorian melting. He covered your hand with his, feeling the band on your finger under his own.
A miracle.
“I’m looking at you.”
#din djarin x reader#the mandalorian#din djarin x you#din djarin#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal#din djarin fluff#the mandalorian fanfiction#din djarin fic#this man needs to be PRAISED he needs to be LOVED and CHERISHED !!!!!#imagine having pedro pascal's face and still being insecure 😔 /j
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tell me that you love me | joshua hong {part one}
SYNOPSIS. in which you and joshua are simply different in more ways than one, yet only seem to find a common ground in struggling to chase your dreams. so why does life keep throwing you two at each other, despite your different worlds, and why does it feel so terrifyingly right? PAIRING. musician!joshua hong x deaf-artist!reader (ft. cafe owner!jeonghan, musician!seokmin, best friend!seungkwan, best friend!wheein, producer!jihoon) GENRE. fluff, slice of life, kdrama romance-esque, mild angst, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn WARNINGS/TAGS. cursing, shua and reader has some self-doubt issues :(, someone makes insensitive comments about reader, mention of alcohol (beer), mention of cigarettes, everyone ships them, kissing, terms of endearment, Softie Domestic Joshua™, it conveniently rains when they're together, this is 85% fluff and 15% plot and the brainrot was giving me an existential crisis, honestly there's not much warnings it's just a love story <3 WORD COUNT (FOR PART ONE). 20k WORD COUNT (FOR FULL FIC). 37k
notes: after 7 months (minus the 2 months i lowkey abandoned this oop), it's done! this fic could have honestly been 20k words, but the brainrot refused to do so. inspired from the kdrama of the same name and the jdrama Aishiteiru to Itte Kure. any uses/descriptions of sign language (ASL) throughout the story is researched! expressing my love to all my mooties who suffered listening to me talk abt this fic. i hope this fic being long doesn't bore you all to death <3 funny enough, this was also supposed to be a very very very belated bday fic to @slytherinshua LMFAO. ty to @bananabubble for also helping me a lot with this fic too!
part one | part two
“Okay, so to recap: the espresso machines are on the right side of the counter, just next to the pastry display. You'll get familiar with them really easily. The barista station is behind them, where all the little doohickeys are, yaddi-yaddi-yadda…”
“Aren't you supposed to be teaching me where everything is?” Joshua asks in slight annoyance after securing the apron around his waist.
Jeonghan just chugs a wet, dripping rag in his direction, narrowly missing Joshua's head and landing with a damp plop on the counter. Then he wipes his hands on his apron, shooting a small wink at the other man. “Patience, grasshopper.”
“Why did you decide to hire me again?”
“So I can finally kick you out of my apartment," Jeonghan answers, a playful bite to his voice, and Joshua only rolls his own eyes. “in a non-violent way, of course.”
“You're actually an imbecile, Yoon Jeonghan.”
“Oh, but you love me.” Jeonghan smirks, plucking the wet rag from the counter and shoving it in Joshua's hand. “Chop-chop, grasshopper, you got a whole day ahead of you.”
Joshua Hong was never one to detest helping out a friend𑁋his best friend, to be specific. He knew Jeonghan was doing this in order to help him out as he had been living under the man's roof for the past two years, with the promise of finding a new place testing his patience. Even with his nightly gigs at the busking centre in the middle of town, having a day job to earn some extra money seemed like a very good idea.
But he seriously doesn't understand how Jeonghan managed to open up his own café in the first place. It's remarkable, actually.
The day is surprisingly slow. Even with the café being in the mere heart of the city and amidst the morning and afternoon rush, barely any pastries were taken from the display. The only sounds come from the rhythmic ticking of the antique clock on the wall, and the obnoxious screech of the stool that Jeonghan sits on not that far away.
However after some time, the familiar, soft chime of the door echoes throughout the café, announcing the arrival of a customer. Joshua finds his head immediately snapping up after fumbling with the frother, a welcoming smile dawning across his face as he smooths his apron and takes his place at the register.
The figure in front of him is momentarily enveloped by the sunlight that seeps through the large window panes. He waits for them to step fully into the warm glow of the café, his eyes drawn to the way they hold themselves𑁋shoulders slightly hunched, hands tucked deep within the pockets of a lightweight jacket, and seemingly a book tucked under their shoulders. Their steps are slow, soft even as they approach the counter, and a smile, gentle and hesitant, plays on their lips.
“Hi, welcome in," Joshua greets politely. “What can I get for you today?”
You find yourself gazing at the unfamiliar barista in front of you with meticulous curiosity, before letting your eyes drift to the nametag on his shirt: Joshua. His eyes immediately dart down to your hands that you lifted up on instinct, then hesitation gnaws at you, and suddenly you drop your hands back to your sides again.
“Our menu is up here.” Joshua motions above his head. “and our pastries are over here, if you would like to take a look.”
You wave your hand dismissively, then fumble for your phone, showing him an order written on the screen.
hot vanilla latte - extra foam - name is y/n
“Hot vanilla latte, extra foam?” Joshua repeats, confirming the order with a friendly smile, and the response he gets is a pair of thumbs-up. “And the name is... Y/N?”
Your face lights up, feeling some heat threaten up your neck as you offer a small nod to confirm.
There's something endearing that blooms in Joshua's chest as he punches the order down on the register. The moment is stretched with long silence before he watches as you quickly turn around to head to the outdoor sitting of the café. He sees you place yourself down at one of the seats, back turned towards him, and all he could do is let his eyes linger for a beat longer before realising that he actually has to make your order.
The aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air as he sets to work. He fumbles slightly, steaming the milk for your latte and carefully (and clumsily) creating a cloud of airy foam.
When he places the mug on the counter, his eyes drift back to where you sat outside, the slight breeze and midday sun casting down on the patio. He notices that you're hunched over, seemingly concentrating on something, and he can't help but wonder what occupies your thoughts. With the latte in hand, he heads towards the door, the bell above the door softly chiming.
The sun paints the city in dappled gold, and a light breeze sways through the air and catches a strand of your hair that floats like a wisp. It's a picture-perfect scene, and Joshua thinks you fit right into it, all while hunched over a small sketchbook and pencil in your hand flying across the page.
He hesitates right behind you, unsure how to get your attention without startling you. Every option that he mulls over seems intrusive and jarring.
In the end, Joshua decides on a gentle tap on your shoulder. As his fingers make contact with your shoulder, a sudden jolt runs through your body, and you visibly startle, your hand flinching involuntarily and coming in contact with the mug in Joshua's hand.
The glass mug slips from Joshua's grasp, crashing down to the floor in thousands of tiny shards. Hot coffee splashes, hitting the skin of both of your hands and splattering on your sketchbook. Gasps fly from both your lips, echoing throughout the quiet patio. You wince in your seat, nearly causing you to stumble off but you manage to catch yourself.
For a long moment, Joshua could only find himself frozen, yet when he notices the pained look on your face, he instinctively reaches out, grabbing your hand without thinking. Your fingers curl around his in a startled reflex, your skin warm against his own. He cradles your hand in his, pressing his palm against your skin, as if trying to shield you from the worst of the heat and the glass scattered around the two of you.
Adrenaline courses through him as he pulls your hand back, examining it frantically. A thin red line crosses near your thumb, a tiny bead of blood sprouting at its edge. Panic claws at his throat, but he forces himself to stay calm. You're watching him, eyes wide with a mix of shock and pain, and he sees his own fear reflected in your pupils.
“Crap, I-I'm so sorry!” he blurts out, voice rough with regret. “Are you okay? I shouldn't have... I should have been more careful…”
You watch as Joshua's eyes scan your hand, the features of his face noticeably soft and etched with concern. The warmth of his hand cradling yours sends a jolt through you, something unfamiliar yet strangely comforting.
When you look back up at him, he asks if you're okay again, your gaze focusing in on his lips then back up at his eyes. You can tell he's worried𑁋he even seems breathless from all the panic too. Swallowing a lump in your throat, you silently answer with a nod.
The air seems to thicken with awkwardness. Joshua's gaze lingers down on your hand cradled in his trembling ones, the sight of a tiny cut on the flesh between your thumb and index finger sending a fresh wave of shame to come crashing down on him.
When you both lock eyes once again, you feel a flutter in your stomach. Then Joshua clears his throat, a million apologies tumbling over each other in his mind.
“I, uh…” he begins, then stops, unsure how to proceed. “Does it hurt a lot?”
You realise he's asking about you, and you peer down at your hand, the sting of the burn momentarily forgotten in the face of his genuine worry. It's just a small red line, a minor burn that will fade in time, and a tiny cut where the glass had scratched. But the warmth radiating from his hand cupped over yours feels oddly... comforting.
You shake your head, then motion to his own hand, as if asking the same thing.
Joshua blinks in surprise. He examines it, a small line of red just starting to show from a small cut, and a tiny calloused area from the burn of the coffee. It was barely noticeable, and it admittedly stung with a dull ache, but he wouldn't acknowledge that𑁋he didn't want to make you worry. It's not that bad, he thinks, but his thoughts are instantly replaced with concern for you.
“Here, let me... I'll get some bandages for you.” He gently releases your hand, his touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary, and rises to his feet. “And a new drink, of course. On the house.”
Before you can give him a nod or anything, you watch him walk towards the café, the sunlight reflecting off his dark hair. He turns back once inside, and your eyes meet across the wall of glass. You offer a smile, and raise your hand in a small wave. He returns one sheepishly, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes just slightly, before disappearing to the side.
You stand up as well, shooting a glance down at your sketchbook, the brown splatter bleeding across a corner of the paper. It didn't look like a lot of it was damaged luckily𑁋you could probably incorporate it into the drawing somehow. The thought seems to soothe you.
Joshua mutters curses to himself as he struggles to find the first-aid kit underneath the counter in the employee's only restroom. He rummages through a drawer, tossing aside spare toilet paper rolls until he finally lays eyes on the small white box labeled First Aid.
“Knew you wouldn't be a great match for this,” Jeonghan's voice rings out suddenly as Joshua retrieves a few pieces of bandages, the man finally emerging after what seems like a long ass hour of a break.
“You finally regret hiring me now?” Joshua scoffs playfully, waving the bandages in front of Jeonghan's face. “They haven't spoken to me at all, so I have no idea if they're okay or not.”
Jeonghan lifts up an eyebrow. “They aren't speaking?" Some silence passes. "Is their name Y/N?”
Joshua looks back at him. “Yeah, why?”
“They come here a lot, like a regular, usually just drawing and stuff, I think,” Jeonghan points out, pursing his lips together. “and… they’re also deaf.”
The age of seven was the last time you heard your voice.
You went to bed ill with a high fever that night, only to wake up the next morning in a muted world. The change wasn't a gradual muffling or a sudden pop like a balloon bursting. It was all simply... gone. You didn't hear the pitter-patter of the morning rain against the window, the rumble of the air conditioner, or even your own heart beating in your chest𑁋but you could feel it.
At first, you thought it was a trick, perhaps a dream that had somehow bled into reality. You screamed, but no sound escaped your lips. You shook your parents awake, but their worried questions were met with your frustrated silence. Tears streamed down your face as they rushed you to the hospital. Then all the tests, scans, diagnoses𑁋they all came to the same the same result: a sudden, inexplicable loss of hearing.
Learning to navigate the world growing up without sound was a slow, exhausting process. You learned to read lips, got used to communicating with sign language, understand the subtle cues of body language, and rely on written words. Your world shrunk, confined to the walls of your home and studio, the familiar faces of your family, the lens of your camera, and the canvases that could speak for you.
You got used to this world of silence. You got used to the fact that you have to live in harmony with those around you, to put in that extra effort to understand them so you could simply be accepted and heard, for once. At a young age, you became adept at expressing yourself through art𑁋capturing the beauty of the silent world you inhabited, the emotions that flowed through your fingertips onto canvases and photographs.
Honestly, the world is so beautiful. Even though you can't hear the bustling city around you, the distant conversations, or the groans of traffic, you've learned to see and appreciate the world in a way others might overlook𑁋finding beauty in the stillness that surrounds you. The way sunlight dances on the leaves, the gentle sway of trees, the vibrant colours that paint the sky during sunset, the look of love between two lovers.
The city is especially colourful at night. Neon store signs burning bright against the dark canvas of the evening sky, people around you moving in routine patterns, and cars flying down the streets. You've perfected the art of capturing these moments, freezing them in time with your camera, and bringing them to life with just a simple brushstroke.
You can't hear the laughter spilling from a nearby work dinner or the murmured conversation of a couple walking hand-in-hand, but you see it all in the tilt of their heads, the curve of their lips, the spark of their eyes. You watch the way their bodies move, the sway of their hips, the swing of their arms, and their stories unfold before you like a silent movie on a grand screen. And that in itself, is beautiful.
You click through the photos you've taken throughout the day on your camera carefully, biting your bottom lip in concentration. There's a photo of a child chasing pigeons in the park, a flock of birds flying through the cloudless sky, a cat lounging in a window sill, and a smile breaks across your lips.
However, you find yourself accidentally bumping into something, or someone. Hastily, you bring your head up to the stranger to apologise, yet they walk away before you even could. Letting out a sigh, you bring your attention back to your surroundings, and your eyes widen to the crowd of people gathered in the small square you hadn't noticed before.
Your eyes dart around, trying to scan through the sea of faces while slowly pushing through the crowd as your curiosity gets the best of you. And when you get yourself to nearly the core of the crowd, you could only freeze to the sight in front of you.
There's a man perched on a wooden stool in the middle, a guitar entangled in his grasp and a microphone stand standing idle in front of him. You can hardly make out his face since you're standing to the side, but for some reason, all you can do is watch in awe.
You can't hear his words, of course. But you feel them. You feel them in the way his fingers dance across the strings, in the way his head dips with the melody, in the way his chest rises and falls with each breath. You see them in the way the light catches his hair, in the way the shadows dance on his face, in the way his eyes flutter open for a fleeting moment.
Then a sudden urge makes you reach for your camera, quickly turning it on and bringing it up to your eyes. And with a simple click of the shutter, you capture the moment in a perfect frame, before weaving through the crowd once more and back into the fresh air of the city.
You look down at the photo, and it tugs at your heartstrings. The nearby lighting catches his face just right, highlighting the sharp lines of his cheekbones and the gentle curve of his smile. He's lost in the music, his skilled fingers dancing across the strings of his guitar, eyes closed as he seems to pour his soul into every note. You zoom in on the photo, admiring the way his dark hair falls across his forehead, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles.
He looks familiar, somehow. You rack your brain, trying to place him, but your mind draws a blank. You've stumbled into the busking area by accident countless times and captured endless moments through your lens, but this one feels different.
The vending machine swallowed his dollar. Literally.
Joshua pounds his fist on the lousy machine a few times, wraps his arms around it like a koala hug and attempts to give it a few shakes, hoping that the drink would somehow drop to the bottom, but nothing happens. Letting out a groan, he takes a step back and runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. Great.
He glances around the area, scanning to find some sort of alternative solution, and his eyes set on a convenience store just a few blocks down. He takes a few steps in the direction, before something brushes past him and causes him to stop.
“Hey, the vending machine doesn't work…” Yet when he turned his body around, he didn't expect to see you making your way to the machine, tapping on the keypad and inserting a dollar, all for the machine to spit out two cans of sodas.
Joshua watches as you bend down to retrieve the cans, peering down in confusion at the second one in your hand. Then when you straighten and look back up, the two of you suddenly meet eyes.
There's a brief pause, and you can't really tell if Joshua is staring at you like you've grown a second head or something else. Then you glance down to the extra drink in your hand, and ah, it clicks.
Your lips move in a silent question, and Joshua realises you must be offering him the extra can. He waves his hand, signaling that it's okay, but you insist, gesturing for him to take it. With a grateful smile, he steps up to you and reaches out, accepting the cold can from you, his fingers brushing over yours briefly.
Joshua watches as you click open the can and take a sip. When you glance back at him, his lips part, then close again, his brow furrowing together like his mind is cluttered. You can't hear his thoughts, of course, but the way his eyes dart from your face to your hands and back again seems like he's trying to ask you something.
“Is your…” he starts to ask, pointing to your hand, noticing that your hand appeared bare of the bandages he gave you more than a week ago. “Is your hand feeling better now?”
You catch his words by reading his lips, and you nod with a reassuring smile. Relief washes over Joshua's features, his eyes softening, and he gestures again towards your hand as if to make sure it's healing alright.
“Wait, I... Sorry, let me start this over.” Joshua seems to mentally take a deep breath. “I'm Joshua, by the way. I should've introduced myself properly first.”
You know that already, but hearing him formally introduce himself ever since your little mishap at the café brings a strange flutter to your chest. You notice Joshua shift from foot to foot, the smile to his face faltering just slightly.
“Is it okay if I ask if you're…” Joshua motions to his ear, then shakes his head, seeing that it might come across as insensitive. Instead, he points to his own mouth and then makes a questioning gesture with his eyebrows, hoping you'll understand what he's trying to ask.
You nod, understanding his question perfectly, raising your hand and making a simple sign, tapping your ear and then shaking your head. You've had this conversation countless times before, with strangers and acquaintances alike. But there's something different about the way Joshua asks𑁋something softer, more genuine.
“I should've realised sooner,” Joshua says. "I'm sorry if that came off as rude.”
You wave your hand dismissively and tap your temple, then point to his mouth, conveying that you could read his lips just as you've been doing this entire time, and Joshua could only watch your movements carefully. Though relief mixes with a tinge of embarrassment in his limbs. He hadn't meant to pry, but curiosity had gotten the best of him, and he didn't want to make you uncomfortable by putting you on the spot like that. He could tell you've probably heard this conversation many times with other people, yet you seem to handle it with such patience.
With a wry smile, you secure your can of soda under your arm before bringing your hands up, signing heartedly, “It's okay,” and Joshua watches your movements with awe and also... a little confusion.
“Can I ask what that means?” he asks slowly, curiously.
You wave a dismissive hand in front of his face, pulling out your phone, quickly typing out something before showing it to him.
It means that it's okay
“Ah, I see,” Joshua responds with a sheepish smile, attempting to clumsily repeat the action with his own hands, but he quickly brings it back to his side. “If I'm speaking too fast, feel free to let me know. I'll try to slow down.”
You shake your head, typing on your phone once more.
Thank you, but you're doing just fine, I promise
A blush creeps onto Joshua's cheeks as he reads your message. He's relieved you're not bothered by his questions, but the awareness that you've been understanding him all along makes him feel a bit silly. In a good way, of course. He takes a hesitant sip of his soda, the silence between you stretching just a bit too long. He wants to talk to you, really talk, but he's unsure where to begin.
As you both stand there, with the city's sounds humming around, Joshua feels the nerves crawling up his skin. He gestures towards the convenience store nearby, silently asking if you need anything. You shake your head, indicating that you're good, but then motion down the road, pointing at something down the street.
“Are you heading somewhere?” Joshua asks, and he feels his heart jump once he sees you nod, feeling proud for understanding what you're trying to say.
You pull out your phone again, typing:
The museum
“The museum?” Joshua repeats, picking his head back up to squint down the street. He feels the hesitation at the tip of his tongue, as if considering something. But then, the intrusive action takes over, and he points in the same direction. “Would it be okay if I walk with you? The café is near there. I was about to head there myself.”
You notice the uncertainty in his eyes. Joshua watches your face for a moment, searching for any sign of discomfort or rejection. However, you simply offer a warm smile and a nod in response, which makes Joshua feel a surge of relief. A small smile plays on his lips, and he falls into step beside you as you both start walking towards the museum.
The late afternoon sun dips below the city skyline, casting long shadows across the pavement as you and Joshua walk side-by-side, your steps falling into sync. You steal glances at him every now and then, captivated by the way his hair catches the golden rays and how the lines of his face soften. He catches your eyes a few times, which makes you both look away at the same time. It's a bit awkward admittedly, yes, but there's a certain charm to it when he's right next to you.
Joshua tries to find ways to bridge the silence, but his words tangle in his throat.
Instead, he waves a hand in front of you, earning your attention back on him.
“Do you like art?” he asks. “Back at the café, I noticed... you were drawing?” Then he does a scribbling motion with his hand.
The question hangs in the air, and you find yourself pausing to consider it. A thoughtful expression settles on your face, and Joshua watches as you take a pause to grab something from out of your bag𑁋your sketchbook𑁋before handing it to him.
He shoots a brief glance at you, as if asking for permission, but your trusting gaze encourages him. He gently opens the sketchbook. His breath catches in his throat as he takes in the first page.
It looks to be a sketch of the beach, capturing the vastness of the ocean, the setting sun in the horizon, and the small details of people walking across the sands. Joshua can almost feel the warm sand beneath his bare feet and the salty tang of the air on his tongue.
He flips through the next few pages. A bustling city street, a lone bird perched on a branch, its feathers so finely detailed they seem to shimmer in the sunlight, a child's laughter echoing through a park, portrayed in a burst of joyful strokes.
Joshua feels a lump rise in his throat. He looks up at you, eyes wide with admiration and something else he can't quite define.
“Wow, these are incredible,” he manages to say. “You're so talented.”
You smile shyly, feeling the heat crawl up your cheeks as Joshua flips to the last page. In an instant, he feels his heart drop, but not in a bad way𑁋it's a page significant with the brown stain at the corner, but it's the way you seem to use the stain as a part of the sketch, blending it into the colours of the sky and the warm tones of the café.
“I was worried about your sketchbook,” he confesses, looking back at you. “I thought I would have to buy you a new one. But... I'm glad it's okay.”
He hands you back the sketchbook, his fingers brushing yours once again as the exchange is made, and you both continue your way down the sidewalk.
And then, you reach the museum.
Joshua turns towards you, and you're already looking at him. Then you pull out your phone once more, typing in a message, before showing it to him.
Thank you for walking with me
“It's𑁋You don't have to thank me,” Joshua acknowledges, his eyes reflecting sincerity. “I enjoyed it. Besides, it's the least I could do after the, uh... incident.”
You both stand a distance away from the museum entrance, knowing that you have to part ways, yet there's some hesitation in there. Joshua peers at the museum building, taking in its appearance, trying to ignore the bubbling reluctance in his chest.
“Maybe I can see you around…” But when Joshua brings his eyes back to you, you're already trailing towards the museum entrance. The embarrassment catches in his throat. He stands there for a moment with his gaze following you, clutching the can of soda, feeling the warmth radiating from it seeping into his palm.
Joshua sees you stop short in front of the entrance, turn back to him, and offer a small wave of your hand, your eyes locked with his for a brief moment. He reciprocates with a reluctant wave of his own, watching as you disappear into the museum.
He lets out a breath he didn't notice he was holding as he turns away, drinking the last sips of disappointment down his throat before throwing the empty can into a recycling bin nearby.
And while on his way to the café, the thought of you tugs at the corner of his lips.
Joshua pulls one more time on the door to the café, the keys dangling in his hand clinging loudly together as he makes sure it's all locked. When he does, he adjusts the strap of his bag over his shoulder, letting out a deep exhale coming straight from the core of his chest.
The sounds of fallen, dried-up leaves crunch below with every step he takes. Joshua wearily casts his eyes around, watching as surrounding local shops and other cafés switch their lights off for the night. A bus rushes past him as he continues walking down the street, bringing with it a gust of wind that ruffles his hair. The city is slowly settling into its nighttime rhythm, and Joshua can feel the shift in energy around him.
As he walks, his attention is drawn to a figure up ahead. It appears to be an elderly lady, a large box in her grasp, her movements slow and careful. The box looks heavy, with whatever inside threatening to spill over the top with every wobbling step she takes. Joshua quickens his pace immediately, concern knitting at his brows.
“Wait, ma’am! Let me help you.” Once he arrives at her side, he shifts his backpack down to the ground and reaches out to steady the box. The elderly lady looks up at him with surprise and relief.
“Ah, thank you, young man,” she says, voice quivering slightly as Joshua hoists a hold of the entire box, a groan leaving him at the unexpected heaviness.
“Where are we heading to?” he asks.
“Just… into there.” The older lady motions with a slender finger to the tiny store tucked between a closed dry cleaner and a flower shop.
He can’t really see where he was going, but he hears the ding of a door opening and the old woman’s voice gently guiding him inside. He carefully navigates through the narrow doorway as the smell of old books, musty paper, and something faintly sweet hits him as soon as he steps inside. When he feels his foot seemingly hit the leg of a table, he cautiously sets the box on top of it, making sure it's stable before straightening back up.
“There we go,” he mutters, huffing out a tired breath. “Is there anything else that you need help with?”
“Oh, no, thank you.” The elderly woman shifts past him to examine the box, before reaching over for a pair of scissors to begin tearing into it. “These old bones can’t do much anymore these days.”
Joshua laughs faintly at that, setting his hands on his hips as he takes a look around the bookstore. It’s noticeably tiny, with only a few tall shelves taking up more than half of the space and a cluttered counter at the front with stacks of books waiting to be set out.
He swipes a random book off the shelf, some dust particles hitting his nose and causing him to sneeze. He chuckles softly, feeling a bit sheepish. The elderly lady looks up at him, a warm smile spreading across her face.
“Bless you,” she says kindly. “Not many people find their way here these days. It's nice to see a young face.”
“Really?” he questions. “It’s very vintage. I bet there’s a lot of history here.”
“For sure,” the lady responds wistfully. “You should head home now. Sleeping early is good for your health.”
Joshua places the book back on the shelf before heading his way back to the front. The elderly woman hands him back his backpack, wiping away some grime and dust that may have settled on it in the meantime. She continues to shower him with thanks even after he steps past the door. He bids her a wave and a good night before beginning to head his way back home.
However, a sudden thought crosses his head, and he doesn’t give the way his feet turn back around much hesitation at all.
He pushes the door open to the bookstore, swallows a lump in his throat, and lets his eyes meet back with the curious old lady.
“Actually,” he starts, smiling somewhat bashfully. “Do you happen to have any books on sign language?”
“Did you finish totaling it up?”
“Hmm, yeah. Give me a second.” Joshua quickly flips through the bills in his hand, splitting it up as evenly as he could, before handing the rest to Seokmin. “294 dollars.”
Seokmin chuckles, grabbing the money from Joshua before unplugging the microphone. “Not too bad, to be honest, and it's on the worser days of the week.”
“It did help that you were here today. I owe you for that,” Joshua admits cheekily, packing up his guitar inside the case and zipping it up. “Got time for a meal later? My treat.”
Seokmin clicks his tongue, shaking his head while wrapping the microphone cord around the stand. “Maybe next time? I have plans.”
Joshua raises an eyebrow, picking his head up to look at Seokmin. Oh, he knows what's going on, and Seokmin isn't really the best at hiding his facial expressions, or anything really at all. The older man just rolls his eyes, chucking a small pebble in his direction, making Seokmin let out a loud yelp as he dodges it.
“Alright, alright. I get it. Go enjoy your date.”
Seokmin's face reddens, and he huffs, “It's not a date! We're just getting dinner, that's all.”
“Sure, sure,” Joshua continues to tease, standing up and slinging his guitar case over his shoulder. “Whatever you say, buttercup. Have fun, though.”
Seokmin just shoots him a playful glare, grabbing a bag of his own belongings and the microphone stand before heading off, promising another day to catch up, and leaving Joshua alone in the quiet square.
Letting out a sigh, Joshua glances down at his watch, noticing the late time displayed. He contemplates whether he should head back to the café to help Jeonghan with closing, head straight back to the apartment, or stop by somewhere to grab some food, and the thought of food makes his stomach rumble𑁋he decides on making a quick stop at a convenience store.
The convenience store is a familiar sight, one that he goes to often and tucked away in a quiet corner of the street, its bright lights illuminating the surroundings outside and the wet streets. There's a slight drizzle that starts as Joshua enters inside, the door letting out a soft chime. The cashier welcomes him with a nod as he starts to stroll through the aisles.
Joshua wanders through the narrow aisles, scanning the shelves for a quick bite to eat. His gaze lands on a shelf filled with instant noodles, and he grabs a couple of cup noodles (and a can of beer for good measure), figuring they would be enough for a simple dinner. As he makes his way to the cashier, the door rings once more, and he turns to spot a familiar face entering inside𑁋you.
Your eyes meet in an instant as Joshua fumbles with the stuff in his hands, the cup noodles and can of beer suddenly feeling heavier than a sack of bricks. His guitar nearly slides off his shoulder too.
You stare at him for a moment as if in confusion or contemplation. Joshua thinks he sees a flicker of recognition in your eyes. Then your lips curve into a hesitant smile, and the world seems to tilt on its axis. You hadn't expected to see him again, not so soon, but the sight of him fills you with a sense of... comfort, perhaps.
A bashful look washes over your face, and you offer a small wave, your fingers curling into a silent hello. Joshua returns the gesture, his own smile hesitant but clearly genuine.
The silence hangs between you, awkward but strangely filled with something, both of you seemingly unsure of what to say.
Joshua shuffles the abominable weight in his feet, the cup noodles in his grasp feeling like ridiculous boulders.
“Hey,” he mutters out, struggling for words, mentally slapping himself in the face. “I was just about to grab some dinner.”
You watch him, gaze tracing over the lines of his face, the gentle curve of his lips, the nervous glint in his eyes. You feel a sudden urge to reach out and somehow wipe away the worry engraving his features, but your hands remain clasped at your side.
He catches your gaze, and his cheeks flush with a faint blush.
“Would you like to join me?”
The offer floats in the air, hanging between the two of you like a question mark. Your eyes widen slightly in surprise, and Joshua fidgets nervously, almost regretfully, while waiting for your response.
Yet unusually, there's something about this that feels... right. Perhaps it's the familiarity of his presence, or something else entirely. You've never really been asked this before, and it feels weird and a bit intimidating, but for some reason, you don't exactly want to step away. The thought of sharing a meal with someone𑁋with him𑁋shoots a bullet of curiosity through you.
Whatever it is, you want to trust it.
Taking a deep breath, you raise your gaze to meet his. Then you give him a shy smile, one not quite reaching your eyes, and nod ever so slightly.
The cashier looks between the two of you as Joshua places the cup noodles and can of beer on the counter. The chime of the cash register rings out as he pays, and you soon follow after with your own food, placing your own items on the counter, then you both head towards a nearby seating area together.
A growing tapping of rain hits the earth outside as the two of you pick a spot in front of the windows. Joshua sets down his leather bag and guitar, and you place your own painter-splattered canvas tote right next to it.
Joshua feels a tap on his shoulder while aimlessly stirring through his ramen, and he watches as you sign him something with your hands. He doesn't entirely understand what you were signing, but he picks up the motion of a guitar, and he brightens up.
“Guitar?” He gestures to the guitar case nestled at his leg, and he watches as you nod and point at him. “Me? Guitar?”
You give a thumbs-up, and Joshua chuckles, feeling proud for picking up on your words.
“Yeah, I... I've been playing since I was young,” he answers, and you read his lips carefully. “Just as a hobby though, not professionally.”
Your mouth opens in awe, then you lift your hands up again, making a swinging motion with one arm and motioning at him, and Joshua tilts his head curiously.
“Book?” he questions, and you shake your head. He thinks again, repeating your movements. “Oh! Music? Do I make music?”
When you nod again, his heart flutters with victory.
“I play and sing sometimes. Just... small gigs and stuff, nothing too fancy,” he admits meekly. “I've written a few songs too. I guess it's a way to express myself, you know?”
You soak in his words, your eyes focusing on his lips and the subtle shifts in his facial expressions. Joshua swears he feels himself shrink under your gaze, but it feels almost relieving to tell this to you.
You bring your hands up, signing something, and Joshua watches intently, attempting to replicate your movements himself while trying to catch the meaning behind the gestures.
“You... like music?” he ventures, and you give him a small nod.
Joshua smiles at this, before it falters slightly. He opens his mouth up to speak, and you perk up, but then he closes it quickly. He feels the anxiety blooming within him, not knowing how to approach the question without making you uncomfortable.
“Can I…” he starts, feeling regretful already. “Can I ask... how do you…”
You notice the hesitation in Joshua's eyes, seeing how he's trying to ask as delicately as possible without crossing a line. But you already know what he's trying to ask, and you feel yourself willing to answer.
You reach for your phone, and Joshua observes as you type out your words, eyes lingering on the features of your side-profile for a few moments. You show him the message:
Sheet music, song lyrics, vibrations, chords, memories of sounds
“Vibrations, chords…” he leisurely reads out aloud to himself, feeling a mix of understanding and admiration course through him. And when he pulls back to look at you, his eyes widen and seem to burn brighter than the city lights outside. He understands. He gets it.
Silence stretches between you again, but it's no longer awkward; it's more comfortable now. Joshua finishes the rest of his ramen, his gaze occasionally darting towards you, and he catches the way you seem to be staring outside as the rain pours down.
He stares outside too, listening to the rain crashing loudly against the window and the occasional burst of thunder that rumbles in the distance. But then when he looks at you, all of those sounds seem to fade away.
He can't tell if you're lost in thought or simply taking in the scene, but there's a quiet comfort in your stillness that seems to draw him in.
As you watch the raindrops dance on the windowpane, a soft smile plays on your lips, and Joshua catches it. He watches you for a moment, then a sudden thought occurs to him. Slowly, he brings his hands up to his ears, covering them completely, and stares back outside. The muffled sounds of the rain and the faint hum of the convenience store fade into the distant background. It's more peaceful this way.
He likes this quietness, especially if it's with you.
You face him, tapping lightly on his forearm. Joshua brings his arms down and veers his attention back to you as you draw your hands up, separate and curl your fingers like a claw, before doing a downward motion. He finds himself repeating it as well, head tilted slightly, and then it clicks.
“Rain?” he guesses, motioning to the rain outside before signing it again. “This means rain, right?”
Your eyes widen in victory, a grin curving at your lips, giving him an approving nod. Joshua feels something catch in his throat, but you turn back to the window before he can say anything.
“Rain,” he mutters to himself, unconsciously signing the word right next to you. Then he brings his hand up again, shooting a glance toward you𑁋you're still staring out the window, and the look of content on your face makes his heart flutter a bit more𑁋before slowly fanning his hand across his face, as if to sign the word, “Beautiful.”
“I've seen you do better than this.”
The look of disappointment to your art teacher's face is unchanging as he signs to you. You feel your hands mold into each other under the desk, fingers fidgeting as you try to process the criticism. The words bounce off the walls in your mind, and the weight of them settles in your chest.
It's not that your painting is bad𑁋it's just not living up to the potential he knows you possess. The colours lack vibrancy, the brushstrokes lack emotion. He leans in, his face mere inches from the canvas, inspecting every detail.
“If you're ever going to put your work in an exhibition, it has to tell a story,” he assures sternly while continuing to sign. “Your art should speak, not just visually, but emotionally. I know you can do better.”
Taking a deep breath, you nod in understanding, though the disappointment lingers. You've been wrestling with this painting for weeks, trying to capture a fleeting emotion, a moment in time that you believed would speak to others, yet you realise you don't have a clear answer. He observes your reaction, and though his expression softens just the slightest, the expectation lingers.
“He’s probably just in a mood,” Wheein reassures you, hands flying in the air as she signs. “You know how he is with deadlines.”
“I can beat his ass for you,” Seungkwan chimes in, emphasizing a punching motion with his hands, which makes you let out a quiet laugh.
Wheein playfully shoves the younger boy in the shoulders, before snatching away the cup of iced coffee in his hands.
Seungkwan pouts in mock disappointment as Wheein steals a sip of his coffee, but the playful banter manages to lighten the mood a bit.
Wheein hands back the coffee to Seungkwan and gives you a few pats on the back. “You'll get it right, you always do. Just take a step back, clear your mind, and try again, okay?”
Her words make you faintly smile. It's not a secret that you've been experiencing a lot of pressure for this upcoming exhibition competition at the museum, an opportunity for you to finally get your art out there in the world. But the thing is that there are plenty of other artists also fighting for the spot as well, and never in your life have you felt so stuck, so drained of inspiration, so dried out of colour.
You feel a little lighter from the reassurance from your friends, but at the same time, you feel like it isn't quite enough. There's still a part of you that feels heavy inside𑁋what if you're not meant for exhibitions, if your art can't truly convey the emotions you want to express? What if you're just not meant for this? What if your art isn't enough to convey the emotions you want to share with the world?
The thought lingers as Wheein and Seungkwan dismiss themselves for the evening, and you're left alone roaming the quiet streets on your way back home. The city's lights begin to flicker to life, casting a warm glow on the dewy pavement, the streets a bit more barren than what you are used to. You try to shake off the doubt at the back of your mind, but it clings to you like the raindrops on the leaves.
As you stop at the pedestrian crossing, you shoot your eyes across the street.
A figure stands tall under the glow of a streetlamp, his features highlighted by the warm light. He's also looking across too in your direction, though it doesn't take long for his gaze to drift and land on you, and suddenly, he's waving at you.
It takes a moment for recognition to dawn on you, but when it does, time seems to stand still𑁋it's Joshua. He's standing there with his guitar case slung over his shoulder, waving at you. At first you look behind you to see if it was meant for someone else, but when you realise there's no one else around, you feel an odd pull tugging at your heart.
Because he looks... happy to see you.
Hesitantly, you raise a hand and give him a small wave back. You notice some contemplation wash over his face, and then you observe as he brings his hands up.
“Nice to see you. How are you?” he signs, albeit clumsily and a bit slow, but the effort is cute, and you find yourself lowering your gaze for a moment to bite back a chuckle.
“Tired,” You sign in response, and mimic the gesture of rubbing your eyes, a small grin playing on your lips.
Joshua's eyes crinkle at the corners, and a soft chuckle escapes his mouth as he watches your playful sign. He follows suit, pretending to yawn and miming the act of stretching, exaggerating the movements comically. It's a simple exchange, but it breaks the ice, and you find yourself smiling more genuinely now.
He ushers a hand up to his cheek. “Home?”
When you give a nod, the signal light turns green, you make your way across the street, noticing Joshua waiting for you on the other side. As you approach him, you catch the nerves in his eyes. He shifts his guitar case on his shoulder, seemingly caught between wanting to say something and waiting for your lead.
With a small tilt of your head, you gesture down the road, asking if he's headed in the same direction as you. But he shakes his head apologetically, signaling that he's heading the opposite way. For a moment, you lift a brow in question, but then Joshua points to himself and then in the direction you're heading.
“Can I…” Your eyes focus on his hands and lips. “walk... you home?”
Your breath catches in your throat, but not from any fear or apprehension. A flutter of nerves dances in your stomach, but is quickly overshadowed by a warm feeling that spreads through you.
Hesitation lingers in the air for a moment, a tiny voice in the back of your mind reminding you of the uncertainties. You didn't want him to take a detour just to walk you home, especially since he was heading in the opposite direction. But then you see the nervous tremor in his hands that mirrors your own, and how his hopeful and vulnerable gaze holds yours as if afraid he had crossed a boundary, and the doubt seems to melt away.
And so, with a soft smile, you sign, “Okay.”
As the two of you set off, the silence that follows feels different than the heavy weight of earlier. It's comfortable, expectant, like a blank canvas waiting for the first splash of colour. You steal glances at him, admiring the way the dim streetlights play on his features, the gentle twinkle that shines in his eyes, how cutely comfortable he appears wearing an oversized jean jacket that almost seems to swallow him whole. And then your eyes set on his guitar case, and curiosity fills you.
You gesture a hand at his guitar, and Joshua raises his eyebrows.
“Oh, I…” He lets out a nervous, airy laugh, fiddling with his hands as he attempts to sign and explain, “I had to get some guitar strings replaced. One of them snapped on me earlier, so I stopped by the repair shop.”
You flash him a worried look, motioning a finger at his skin.
Joshua just shakes his head, signing back comfortingly, “I'm okay.”
He watches as you tilt your head just slightly, as if in amusement, like you had caught him saying something suspicious.
You type out something on your phone before showing it to him.
The way you sign is funny
Joshua giggles quietly, and he playfully pouts, a small laugh escaping his lips. “That's mean.”
You feel a warmth bloom in your chest at his reaction, like a tiny seed of affection sprouting. It's almost like he's attempting to paint with his hands, and the shade isn't quite right, yet it blends in perfectly with just a few more strokes.
There are many people you’ve encountered in life who have communicated with you through sign language, and you noticed that they all have their own unique way of signing. Whether it was Seungkwan with his more expressive and sharp gestures, Wheein with her dainty and flowy style, or Joshua with his uncertain yet gentle movements, you liked they were all different.
Not being able to hear doesn't bother you anymore, not like it used to when you were younger. It used to build walls around you and separate you from the world. Yet now, you've learned to read sounds with your eyes, hear the voices that emit from a simple smile, a frown, an arch of the brow, because there are a lot more people who can hear than those who can’t.
But out of all those people, someone was the one to wave first across the street.
Joshua finds himself staring up at the intimidating brick façade of your apartment building. When you turn back to him, you offer him a tentative smile, and there's something different about it that makes his chest tighten.
Finally, you muster the courage, your fingers slowly dancing in the air.
“Thank you,” You sign to him.
He lets out a quiet chuckle, eyes softening. “How do I sign ‘goodnight?’”
You nearly hesitate for a second before bringing out both of your hands. You could feel Joshua watching you carefully at the way you bring your right hand up to your chin and then back down to meet the palm of your other hand, signing the word good. Then you flip your left hand so that it’s facing down, and your other hand brushes over it like the sun is setting over the horizon, signing the word night.
Joshua watches at the way your hands move gracefully. He follows your movements carefully, a faint smile spreading across his face as he tries to mimic your gestures.
“Good... night,” he repeats slowly, the miniscule dust particles whirling around his fingers as he traces the air. His eyes meet yours, and he could possibly see the flicker of proudness in them. It's a simple exchange, but at this moment right now, it feels significant.
As you unlock the door to your apartment, you turn to look back at him, and he shoots you another wave. Joshua stands there for a moment, watching your door close, before taking in a deep breath to relax the racing of his heart.
Three years ago, Joshua Hong moved away from his family in the hopes of pursuing a music career. It most certainly wasn't an easy decision, leaving behind the familiarity of his hometown and the warmth of his loved ones.
Almost three years later, he might have realised how damn stupid of a choice that might have been.
It's a bit lonely, to put it lightly.
The gigs are sparse, the pay is minimal, and the dreams he once held so tightly in his grasp seem to be slowly slipping away as the days pass.
The journey has been anything but smooth, filled with constant rejections, financial struggles, and moments of self-doubt; and lately these lows seem to be overpowering the highs more than ever. Yet, despite all this, he still chooses to cling to this passion as if it's the air he breathes, because it's something that he loves to do.
Music is the voice he uses when his own isn't enough. He's constantly surrounded by noise, whether it's from the strumming of his own guitar, the sounds of the bustling city, or conversations from strangers that he accidentally overhears when crossing the street.
But then there's the silence𑁋the kind that settles in the spaces between chords, in the moments when he puts the instrument down and the world seems to hum a little quieter. It's in these moments that the loneliness can be deafening.
And then there was you.
The melody playing in his mind for the past week is... hesitant, unsure, much like his own feelings. He isn't sure what it is yet𑁋this feeling that tugs at his chest and paints his cheeks with a faint blush. He only knows that it's connected to you, to the way your eyes narrow in focus when your fingers dance so graciously in the air, and the warmth that spread through him when you thanked him for walking you home the other night.
It was just a simple offer to walk you home, why is it playing on repeat in his mind?
A sigh leaves him as he runs a loose hand through his hair. He tosses away the dirty rag in his hand and stores the cafe's cleaning supplies back and under the counter. The colours of the sun setting outside filters through the large windows, casting orange and red hues on the wooden tables and floor of the empty café.
“You look like you need a drink,” Jeonghan's voice rings out teasingly, and Joshua could only scoff. “You still got that gig later this weekend, right?”
Joshua nips at his bottom lip, releasing a sigh. “I've been feeling a little under the weather, honestly, and I don't really have anything prepared.” I feel like I'm losing my touch.
Jeonghan arches a knowing brow. “Since when do you back down from a gig? Just go up there and pour your heart out. It's what you do best.”
“I'm just not feeling it right now, I guess,” Joshua replies with a half-hearted smile, shoulders only taking on a shrug. He pushes himself away from the counter, and just as Jeonghan is about to crawl under his skin, the bell above the door chimes. “Welcome in…”
He should really learn how to control his stomach from flipping when seeing you𑁋the familiar sight of your paint-smudged canvas tote, the comfort you seem to radiate𑁋but it's not just you alone. There's a girl who he doesn't recognise there too, with her arm linked with yours, and another boy he swears he's seen a few times... Seungkyung? Seungwan? Seungkwan?
Joshua lets his gaze drift to you, and there's a gloom to your face that he can't quite decipher, a certain apprehension that he notices when your eyes make the smallest of contact. He attempts to get your attention by bringing one of his hands up, and you catch sight of it.
“Same?” he signs, as if asking if you want to order the usual drink that you get.
You meet his eyes, and despite the lingering doubts that have been plaguing you, there's a sense of comfort in the familiarity of him. You nod, and that's all it takes for him to brighten up, his smile breaking through the clouds that seem to hang in the air. He watches as you exchange a few words in sign language with Wheein and Seungkwan, then Seungkwan comes over to the counter to place the order.
Maybe he's just seeing things, or maybe it's his mind overthinking for him𑁋there's an undeniable shadow around your eyes that he notices when he brings a tray full of fruit smoothies and iced teas to your table. He sets the drinks down carefully, unable to ignore the way your gaze seems to linger on him for a fraction of a second before flitting away again.
You don't seem to be entirely present in conversation, often drifting off before Wheein or Seungkwan would have to nudge you back into reality. Then a ghost of a smile would draw over your lips, attempting to engage in the conversation with your hands, but all the words seem to disintegrate into ashes.
Another tap at your wrist makes you blink, and you turn to see both Seungkwan and Wheein peering at you with worried expressions on their faces.
“Are you okay?” Wheein mouths quietly, signing lightly with her hands.
Seungkwan turns his head slightly, eyeing something behind him, a scowl to his expression before it curves into a slight smirk; his back was facing where Joshua stood behind the counter, taking in orders for another group of people.
“Café boy?” he mouths to you.
You follow Seungkwan's line of sight, and sure enough, Joshua is there behind the counter𑁋mop of dark hair falling in his eyes, a polite smile playing on his lips𑁋taking and preparing orders with casual ease. You feel a gentle tug in your chest, and for a moment, your gaze locks with his. There's a flicker of concern in his eyes as he watches you, before the corners of his mouth tugs upwards, and you quickly avert your gaze, fingers playing with the straw in your drink.
“He's cuter than I thought,” Seungkwan signs jokingly to you, lifting a teasing brow. “I'd have a crush on him too𑁋ow!”
He's met with Wheein's sharp elbow to his side, making him let out a squeaky wince that might have gained the attention of the entire café, and she scolds him with a shake of her head and a finger to her lips, but it manages to crack a small smile to your face. Seungkwan only grins in victory, tapping his wrist against his heart and giving a thumbs-up as if satisfied with the response he got out of you.
Ah, the benefits of sign language and being friends with two absolute idiots... No one really knows what the hell you're talking about.
“You do think he's cute though, right?” Wheein scrunches up her face cheekily, and you could only let a finger drift across the icy surface of your cup, the cold offering little comfort against the sudden warmth blooming in your cheeks to her words.
You roll your eyes, though your face seems to betray you even more.
“You're not denying it,” Seungkwan adds in, narrowing his eyes at you in a smirk. “Just say you have a crush on him.”
You form a mock-scissor gesture with your fingers, and the threat earns a burst of laughter to leave Seungkwan. The playful jab cuts through the tension, but the truth is, your heart aches a little at his words.
Crush? The word felt alien, yet somehow, it fits. The way your heart skips a beat whenever his gaze met yours, the way his smile warms you from the inside out, the way his clumsy attempts at sign language makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time𑁋these were all signs of something, weren't they?
The atmosphere at the table lightens a bit. It feels nice, spending time with your friends and momentarily pushing aside the doubts of your artistic soul and worries of everything else that have been flying in and out of your head.
Eventually, the rest of the afternoon wears on, and you somehow manage to survive through Seungkwan and Wheein's (mainly Seungkwan though, unsurprisingly) overbearing and teasing attempts to get you to spill your thoughts on café boy. They give up by the end of it, saying their goodbyes with a tight squeeze of a hug and urging you to keep your chin up. Seriously, you wouldn't know where you would be right now if it weren't for them.
At the back, when Joshua steps out of the restroom, a sudden slap at the wall next to his head startles him back.
“So I see.” Jeonghan circles a finger in front of his face. “You're feeling under the weather, aren't you?”
Joshua groans. “Don't you say it𑁋”
“Under the weather of love𑁋”
“You're having more customers than before because of me. Don't ruin that.”
“Then stop looking like a lovesick puppy and ask them out already, idiot.” Jeonghan shoves the boy forward with a not-so-gentle push to the back. “or at least invite them to your gig. Maybe you won't feel under the weather then.”
Joshua opens his mouth to retort. “Dude, I can't just𑁋”
But before he can finish his sentence, Jeonghan has already disappeared in the back, leaving Joshua standing there in a puddle of embarrassment. He glances towards the table where you were sitting earlier, seeing that you and your friends have already left, and panic shoots through him.
He's never been good at taking risks, but maybe, just maybe, it's time to change that.
Racing out the door, the cool evening air greets Joshua as he steps outside, quickly scanning the surroundings for a glimpse of your familiar figure. He spots you not too far away, heading down the sidewalk, before quickening his strides. He doesn't know what's driving him, but there's a sudden urgency to catch up with you𑁋to not let you slip away just this once.
And when he finally manages to catch up to you approaching the pedestrian light, he finds himself breathless in front of you, heart pounding in his chest and cheeks flushed, still wearing the café apron around his body. When he looks up to you, clearly startled by his sudden appearance, he feels the heat crawl up his neck.
“I, um…” he starts, voice coming out way more flat to his ears. Then you watch as he brings his hands up to sign. “Question?”
You feel your heart pick up its pace. He ran all the way out here to ask you a question?
“I have a performance…" His face lights up when he signs the right word. Cute. "...this weekend. I was wondering if you’d like to watch it?”
You swear you can see the city lights blinking in anticipation around you, your own eyes fluttering in surprise to his question. He's... inviting you to watch him perform? He knows you won't be able to fully understand him, to hear him, yet he's offering you anyway?
Part of you wants to immediately say yes. The thought of watching him sends a wave of thrills through you, a glimmer of excitement warming the chill wrapped around your heart since leaving the café. But the other part𑁋the cautious and guarded part that has learned to retreat behind walls of silence𑁋is reluctant.
Hesitation flickers across your features, and Joshua's hands fly in apology.
“You don't𑁋if you're uncomfortable or if you have plans, it's okay," Joshua reassures quickly, speaking almost too fast for you to catch everything tumbling off his lips. “I could give you my number and text the details if you decide to come. Just... think about it, okay?”
The streetlight casts a soft glow on Joshua's features as he waits for your response. You glance up to the pedestrian signal, noticing that time is ticking down before you would have to leave, before bringing your gaze back to him.
You swallow a lump down your throat, and give a nod. A faint grin breaks across his face. Joshua fumbles with his phone, pulling it out of his pocket and offering it to you. You swiftly type in your phone number, then hand the phone back to him, and then the pedestrian signal switches to green. It's your time to go. Each footstep you take feels heavier and heavier.
Joshua watches you go, but not before you both exchange your habitual waves to each other.
He can get used to that, he thinks.
The colours on your palette just look absolutely wrong.
It may just be the lighting playing tricks on your eyes and the exhaustion hanging on your eyelids, but it all looks slightly off-shade, the teeniest tiniest bit cooler or warmer. You frown, dipping your brush into the paint, attempting to mix them until they match the image you have in your mind. But it's like trying to catch sunlight with your bare hands𑁋the more you try, the more it slips away.
You let out a frustrated sigh, leaning back in your chair, and your gaze wanders to the canvas. The painting stares back at you tauntingly. It's like a stranger's work, not your own. A sense of defeat washes over you.
Groaning, you hop to your feet, untangling the apron around your waist and letting it fall to the ground before taking your paint brushes to the sink in your bathroom. You wash off the paint with a bit too much force, the bristles scraping against the porcelain, almost as if you were trying to scrub away your own frustration. The paint swirls down the drain, the colours blending together into an ugly, murky green before ultimately disappearing.
You chug down an entire glass of water from your kitchen, then shut off the light hanging above your canvas. Sprawling on top of your bed, you squeeze your eyes shut, hoping that the walls could cave in and swallow you whole, if only for a moment.
When you reach behind to fish for your phone annoyedly, your eyes nearly bulge out of its skull.
You don’t even have to read out the entire message for you to jump up from your bed. Your eyes dart from the time displayed at the top of your phone, and to the words jumping at you from the screen.
[06:26PM | joshua hong] Hey it's Joshua! Sorry I know it's a bit last minute, but my performance is supposed to start in about 15 [06:29PM | joshua hong] But I totally understand if you aren't able to attend. It's no problem at all :)
And perhaps it's the adrenaline from reading the message knowing it’s from Joshua, because you’re suddenly standing up and racing to the bathroom. You don’t understand how you look more disheveled than before, and you can hardly do much to touch yourself up before you’re shrugging, grabbing a jacket, and leaving.
You nearly trip on the way out the door, and you could already feel the multitude of curses echoing through your head.
Gosh, you can hardly believe how much time has slipped away from you. The stress coming from painting and deadlines has been gnawing at you day by day. It’s been the only thing pulling you back from doing anything else. Yet with every stroke you bring to the canvas, it feels empty. You feel empty.
The streets of the city feel busier than usual, the air thick of your already deteriorating patience, and an unnerving anxiety gnaws at your insides.
You don't have to attend𑁋you know it's a choice you could make, but why does the thought of not seeing him perform make your heart clench? Why does the thought of simply not seeing him make your steps quicken even more?
The doors to the bus ahead slam shut the second you stride up to it, and your hand comes up to pound at the heavy metal surface in anger. With a huff, you step back from the edge of the street, ignoring the stares being shot towards you by passersby while watching as the bus pulls away, leaving you standing uselessly on the sidewalk.
A person almost bumps into you once you turn around. Every taxi that you attempt to grab is immediately taken. You blink back some heat in your eyes, arms wrapping around your body as if trying to mask away the sinking feeling at the pit of your stomach. You brush past a sea of shoulders and weave through the bustling streets of the city. Seriously, why the hell is it so busy right now?
But even as you continue to float your way through the crowded streets, you could feel all the hope at getting to Joshua’s performance deflate. The day really wasn’t all on your side right now, and it all seems to rain down weights at your feet, slowing you down with every step you take.
Why does it matter? You ask yourself inwardly, skepticism knitting at your brows. Why does his performance matter so much?
A sharp nudge at your shoulder blade makes you wince. And when you bring your eyes back up, you suddenly realise you’re the only one left standing at the pedestrian light, watching as the sea of people ahead of you cross without any worry. The other side seems so close yet so far.
Your gaze flickers up at the seconds counting down, your thoughts thinking back to Joshua, and you suddenly find yourself darting across the street.
Joshua's brow twitches faintly when his calloused fingers strum at his guitar strings.
It’s a bit warmer this evening, the air feeling strangely muggier than usual. The note that leaves his guitar sounds slightly off-tune, but he doesn’t get himself to fix it. Instead, he hunches over to aimlessly grab at his guitar case right at his feet, snatching the coins he may have missed picking up before beginning to pack everything up.
Joshua glances around the beautifully lit-up busking area, eyes scanning over the dwindling crowd. It’s a relatively small, circular area making up the heart of a tiny social sphere surrounded by local markets and restaurants. Despite that, there’s an emptiness lingering around him, one that feels awfully familiar yet more noticeable than ever before. He gazes back down and pockets the coins with a practiced shrug, a movement that barely hides the disappointment nagging at him.
When a coin slips out of his grasp, he bends down to retrieve it. But as he’s about to come back up, a shadow seems to loom above him, and the outsole of a shoe nearly steps on his fingers.
Joshua picks his head back up, half-expecting for it to be a complete stranger and totally not half-hoping that it would be… you, hunched over and out of breath.
“Y/N?” he asks, swiftly putting the coin away. “You came.”
You only give an imperceptible, apologetic nod at his words. Joshua glances around for a moment, before looking down at his guitar, and back to you.
He scratches the back of his neck bashfully. “You just missed it.”
A thin line forms at your lips as you sign, “I’m sorry.”
“There’s no need to be sorry.” Joshua waves dismissively with his hands in a slight panic. “You must have been busy, right?”
You smile faintly at that, nodding once more, before taking out your phone to type:
I wanted to come
Once Joshua reads it, you see the way his eyes widen ever so slightly. “You did?”
The curve at your lips lifts even more, but just barely. Joshua’s head falls down for a minute as he peers down at his feet, attempting to hide away a grin threatening at his own face, before looking back up at you and clearing basically nothing in his throat. He tucks his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
“I’m glad you came,” he says, a sweet, appreciative tone to his words. You can’t hear it but you can see it in the way his eyes seem to smile as wide as his lips. “I was… kind of hoping you would show up. Not… not in a weird way or anything! I just𑁋I think I would have felt a little more confident if you were here. A face that I know.”
Your face scrunches together in a bit of worry and a pinch of surprise, but Joshua just shakes his head and chuckles it off.
The two of you stand there for a few moments. It’s really your first time being right in the centre of the busking square. Fairy lights hang on the few trees that dot around the area. You could see some small and large groups of people huddling nearby, presumably watching other performers performing, but you and Joshua just stood adrift in your own little bubble, like two stars separate from their own galaxies.
The fairy lights cast a warm glow on Joshua's face, highlighting his hair that was floofed out in soft wisps around his forehead. You watch the way he runs his hand through it before taking a deep breath and returning to packing up his guitar. You casually wander close, looming over as you observe him in curiosity.
Once Joshua slings his guitar back over his shoulder, he turns back to you.
“Are you…” he starts to ask while signing. “...going back home now?”
You glance down at the time on your phone, pursing your lips together lousily. You should probably head home to start back on your painting, but that’s not what your thoughts are telling you to do, nor your heart. Or maybe your entire body, in fact.
“If you are,” Joshua’s hands catch your attention again, then you focus in on his lips. “can I walk you home again? Like last time? It’s the least I could do since you ran all the way here. I have to give some worth to your effort, right?”
You almost swear you could read the playfulness on his features, like the way his eyes crinkle subtly at the corners, or even in the way his head is tilted unnoticeably.
You can get used to that side of him, possibly.
You only abruptly turn around, leaving Joshua puzzled for a second, before he’s snatching the rest of his belongings and jogging to catch up to you. Then the two of you are walking side by side just as all the times before, the distance between you closing naturally.
The world you’re used to is already quiet, silent even, but it’s different now. Joshua’s presence is loud, not in sound, but in the way it seems to comfortably fill the space around you. You don’t really know how to describe it without sounding awfully obvious that… you like when he’s around you; or, you like when you’re around him.
His guitar case occasionally bumps your hip at his side, and his every attempt to create more space only seems to bring him back to the tiny amount of distance between you two anyway. Then Joshua switches carrying the case from one shoulder to the other, and as he does, his free hand briefly brushes against yours. The touch is fleeting, but enough to send a jump to your stomach. He quickly looks at you with a sheepish grin, muttering an apology that you can't hear but can easily read in his expression.
The night air is cooler now, a gentle breeze rustling the leaves overhead and causing them to fall to the ground like feathers at your feet.
Joshua feels a light tap at his arm, and he turns to see you showing him a message on your phone.
Did your performance go well?
He smiles nimbly at that, but you can tell in the way his eyes seem to cast a shadow over his face that he's not entirely satisfied. He only nods slightly, a noncommittal gesture.
“It was alright,” he says while signing, fingers moving reluctantly. “The crowd was small, and I wasn’t at my best. But it’s okay.”
You frown a little, and the way he casts his head down to the ground makes your chest squeeze.
“Maybe it was good that you didn’t come,” Joshua mumbles under his breath, and you hardly catch what he was saying, but you could sense the diffidence emitting from him. “Wouldn’t want to disappoint you either.”
Both of your footsteps slow down ever so slightly as you approach a familiar street corner, the dim glow of a lamppost shining down on the two of you. Joshua notices the pensive expression to your features as your fingers dance across your phone screen.
You hesitate for a moment before showing him.
You tried your best. That’s all that matters
Then you’re abrupt to take your phone away before Joshua could process your words, typing something else again before flipping your phone around for him to read.
You wouldn’t have disappointed me
Joshua stares at the simple message. A hearty sound seems to bubble out of his chest, then another, and another, before it turns into a brief fit of coughs and a mix of laughter altogether. You can’t help but giggle at his reaction. It's light and airy, like wind chimes dancing in the breeze, and it feels like breaking a sound barrier you didn't even know existed between the two of you.
When he returns his gaze to you, he grins again, beaming even, a sliver of teeth expressing relief and a newfound confidence.
“Thank you,” he tells you. “That means a lot to me.”
You nod your head coyly, and before Joshua can say anything else, you’re already turning around and beginning to walk. Yet just after the first few steps, a boom of thunder echoes in the distance, and a raindrop lands at the top of your head.
You stop and turn to see Joshua racing after you, and he stops right next to you.
“Rain,” he simply signs. “It’s raining.”
And then, the two of you don’t even have to say anything before you’re running through the incoming rain together. You try to run as fast as you can without looking back because you know that Joshua is behind you, the rain beginning to fall down heavier and heavier as you dart through the streets and into the area where your apartment is located.
Joshua stops right at the entrance, the same place where he had stopped last time. He watches as you continue to dash away from him, before coming to a halt, and turning around to notice him standing there under the pouring rain.
Raindrops plaster in your hair and clothes as you face Joshua standing at the entrance of your apartment building. His hair is damp and matted to his forehead, damp clothes clinging to his frame as the rain running in rivulets down his face. Despite the downpour, his eyes meet yours with an unwavering gaze.
“Are you alright?” he signs nearly frantically, and you squint your eyes to be able to see him more clearly.
While catching your breath, you motion for Joshua to come closer, shielding yourself under the small awning of your apartment building. He hesitates for a moment, glancing around as if assessing the situation, but then he’s jogging up to you, joining you under the small shelter of your building that could probably only fit two people.
Both of you stand there as you watch the rain pour down to the earth in front of you. Then you glance at Joshua, and then at your apartment, then back outside again. He can’t go home in this rain right now without a singular bit of protection.
A tug at Joshua’s sleeves makes him turn to face you, softening at the way you look so concerned yet… cute in your own little way.
Without any thinking, you gesture towards your apartment, as if silently offering him an invitation.
The surprise on Joshua's face is clear. His eyebrows shoot up, and his mouth falls open slightly. He glances back at the downpouring rain, then back at you with uncertainty.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
You nod again, even opening the door for him and waiting for him to step inside. He hesitates again, but the apparent adamancy on your features brings some warmth to blossom through his chest. He fixes his guitar case on his shoulder and steps past you into the dry hallway, water from his hair and clothes dripping down to the ground.
Joshua follows you down the narrow hallway toward your apartment door, his shoes squeaking slightly on the tiled floor below, a slip of nervousness with every step he takes. The hallway is dimly lit, with a faint aroma of incense lingering in the air. You unlock the door and hold it open for him, gesturing for him to enter first. And as he steps past you, he’s immediately greeted with the warmth of your place.
You take off your own shoes right after him as he stands somewhat awkwardly in the middle of your apartment. It’s smaller than he imagined, but it’s enough for him to recognise glimpses of your personality scattered around. It’s cozy, minimalist, yet it’s home to you, and that’s all that matters to him.
You appear back in front of him with a towel in your hands, and you hold it out to Joshua, who takes it from your grasp gratefully. He starts to dry his hair and face, the towel absorbing the rainwater and providing some warmth against his skin. As he does so, he steals glances around your apartment, catching sight of an easel holding up a large canvas.
There are other paintings on your walls too. He smiles to himself as he steps closer towards the canvas, the painting appearing unfinished and a bit weathered with all of its strokes, but nevertheless eye-catching, filling him with wonder about what the finished product may look like.
You emerge from your bedroom and scan around the room, and when your eyes land on Joshua, you find him peering down at your unfinished painting, a thoughtful expression on his face as he cards through his hair with the towel. He turns to you, eyes widening at the sight of you in a set of new, dry clothes, then shifts his gaze to what you're holding.
It’s an oversized, grey hoodie, and it proudly displays the name of the museum that you frequent. You hold it out to Joshua with a shy look. He sets the towel aside and takes the hoodie from your hands. Immediately, you take a deep breath and face yourself away to let him change, and Joshua watches as you disappear into the small kitchen area, giving him a moment of privacy.
After propping his guitar case next to your easel, he strips off his wet shirt, replacing it with the dry, oversized hoodie. It’s warm and extremely comfortable, smelling like it’s been freshly washed with a scent hinting at lavender, and instantly offers the relief he needed after running through the rain earlier.
Then Joshua gazes around your apartment again. There’s a bookshelf lined with art books and tiny succulents, a small couch with a knitted blanket draped over its arm, and a table with a collection of paintbrushes, unused palettes, and an endless collection of bottles of paint. It’s a different sight than what he’s used to, that’s for certain𑁋he’s used to microphone chords being tangled together, the worn leather of his guitar case at his fingertips, and the hum of music drifting through his life.
The sound of your footsteps echoes softly from the kitchen, drawing Joshua's attention away from his thoughts. You're holding two mugs in your hands, steam curling up from the brims, and the scent of herbal tea wafts through the air. You carefully hand one to him, before settling on the couch, snugly tucking your legs underneath yourself. Joshua follows suit right after, sitting down right next to you while taking a steady sip from the warm tea. He feels the warmth seep into his fingers as he cradles the mug in his hands.
He glances at you, noticing how relaxed you seem all curled up on the couch, the soft light casting a gentle glow on your face.
Joshua leans down to set the mug back on the table, catching your attention.
“Thank you,” he mouths quietly, signing to you.
You offer a small nod in response, then take out your phone to type:
Is it still raining hard outside?
Joshua leans back on the couch to listen, narrowing his eyes intently. He still hears the rain outside, but it seems to have calmed down quite a bit. Yet the thought of him staying longer in your place makes his ears burn hotter than the steaming cup of tea in his hands.
He turns back at you and nods his head, knowing it’s a bit of a white lie but deciding that it’s worth staying just a little longer with you. He watches the way your face shifts into a contemplative look.
Your fingers dance along with your screen once more.
You can stay until it stops
“Are you sure?” Joshua questions incredulously. “I don’t want to be a nuisance.”
You shake your head firmly, the smile playing on your lips widening just a touch. It's clear in your eyes that you’re genuinely telling him it’s okay, and that assurance softens something in Joshua's chest. He glances down at his mug on the table, staring at the way the steam curls up into the air like delicate wisps.
It feels almost natural to do this𑁋to sit here under the excuse of sheltering away from the rain, but really, it's a bit more than that, more obvious than what you both assume. For some reason, it’s easier to be around each other than sitting alone in your separate worlds of sound and art.
When Joshua drinks the rest of his tea, he catches a glimpse of his guitar case standing right next to your easel, and a light flickers on his head.
“Since you missed my performance,” he starts to say, signing a bit flimsily and unconfidently. “I was wondering if I could… maybe sing for you?”
You cock your head to the side, curiosity piqued. “Sing?”
“Sing.” Joshua copies right after you. He remembers when you mentioned that even though you can’t hear, you can still feel the vibrations, read the chords and lyrics, and enjoy the music like others.
And while he feels nervous, the way his heart flutters at the thought of you listening to him sing makes him feel a bit… hopeful, confident, like he told you before. He likes to think that your presence alone is much more comforting and reassuring than a group of strangers gathered around him in the busking area.
Joshua takes a deep breath, before standing up and fetching his guitar gently from its case, resting the instrument on his knee. The rich scent of wood fills the air as he tunes it, deftly plucking each string with practiced fingers until it comes to the correct note. You could only watch in awe, glancing between the guitar and his focused expression. His brows knit together tightly and his eyes come to a close for a few moments𑁋you can’t seem to tear your own gaze off him.
When he finishes tuning, he opens his eyes, seemingly noticing how attentive you’re to his every move. A faint blush creeps up his neck, and he casts his eyes down for a moment before meeting yours again. He clears his throat awkwardly, adjusting the guitar strap on his shoulder.
“Can I…” he begins to ask, holding out his hand towards you. You peer down at it, noticing how it hovers expectantly between you.
As your hand is about to brush against his, Joshua gently takes your hand with his own, his calloused fingertips meeting your soft ones briefly. He guides your hand on the body of his guitar. Your fingers rest lightly against the smooth wood, feeling the vibrations as he strums a few chords softly.
Your eyes widen as you look back up at him, surprised at how vivid the sensation is right at the ends of your fingers.
“You can read my lips too.” Then he pauses, before continuing, “if you want to, at least.”
With that, he plays a few chords, the vibrations running through the guitar and to your hand, even down your body. And when his lips start to move, you try to focus on his every word, watching the shape of his mouth as he sings.
For years, you’re used to reading sound with your eyes. Sure, you’ve touched instruments, like the piano in the music room during elementary school or the drumset you would see backstage before a school concert. But no one ever played them𑁋nobody ever played for you.
So when you read from your eyes, there’s always that second of disconnect when you blink, and the inner anxiety that you could miss even the tiniest detail of the music. However, everytime you blink now, you could feel Joshua singing and playing right at the ends of your fingertips, as if he was telling you that it’s okay to keep your eyes closed without worrying, simply because he was right there.
This is what passion looks like on someone else, and for some reason seeing all that unfold before you makes it all more beautiful.
You notice Joshua closes his eyes or peers down sometimes when he gets more focused, yet it doesn’t take anything away from his singing. The way his fingers effortlessly glide over the strings of his guitar, or the subtle lift to his lips when he’s singing𑁋you know that his heart is completely in it.
It’s beautiful. He’s… beautiful.
The song ends before you hardly notice. You keep your hand resting on the guitar, the vibrations still buzzing ever so slightly on your fingertips after Joshua strums the final set of chords.
Joshua shifts uncomfortably for a moment, his gaze flickering between your eyes and the guitar in his lap. He scratches the back of his neck, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips.
“Did you... like it?” he asks tentatively while searching your face, signing the words as he speaks.
You merely blink up at him too, as if you’re still stuck processing everything and nothing all at once, before nodding reassuringly.
Joshua's expression softens with relief, his shoulders relaxing visibly as he lets out a quiet sigh. He glances down at your hand still resting on his guitar, a certain warmth spreading through his chest at the way you're looking at him.
“You felt it, didn't you?” he asks quietly. “The vibrations?”
You consider nodding again, but instead, you reach back for your phone to type.
It was beautiful. I haven’t felt music like that in a long time
Joshua can’t help but smile to himself, and there’s no point in trying to hide it anymore when he does. He likes knowing that he’s happy around you, likes feeling himself be happy around you. It’s a feeling that feels easy, natural, like he doesn't have to try too hard.
He gently places his guitar back in its case, the soft click of the latch echoing in the quiet room. You notice his fingers linger on the case for a moment, before he turns back to you.
“I think that I was right about what I said earlier,” he affirms, and there seems to be content hinting on his features. “about feeling more confident… when you’re around. I just wanted to thank you for that.”
Of course, he was nervous, anxious if anything𑁋but in between all that nerves was the comfort of someone who listened to him more intently than any audience ever could.
Joshua clears his throat and peers around after setting his case back down, trying to brush off the fact that you’re sitting way more closer to him than before. You’re typing something on your phone again, the bright screen emitting on your face and making you bat your eyelashes together.
You lightly tap on his shoulder to get his attention, showing your message:
You can always practice here, if you want
“Practice? Here? You want𑁋I can practice here?” The disbelief in his face makes you purse your lips together endearingly. “I hardly ever have the chance to practice because Jeonghan𑁋my roommate𑁋is sick of me being loud, at this point. I’ve been saving up to move out, but it’s been hard.”
When he realises how fast he spoke and the way you’re watching him closely, all he does is smile faintly.
“I’ll be sure to use the opportunity wisely,” he assures you, and there’s that lightheartedness back on his face again.
Your knee rubs against his when you stand up to put away the empty mugs back in the kitchen. It gives Joshua the chance to look around your place again, and his eyes settle on your unfinished painting on the other side of the room.
“Could you…” he starts to ask once you’re walking back to the couch, his fingers moving unsurely in the air. “Could you tell me about your paintings?”
At first, there’s a bit of hesitancy in your movements. But the genuinity you see in his gaze seems to tug at your heartstrings more than ever. You show him a message on your phone:
As long as you tell me about your songs
Joshua’s eyes light up at your message, a grin spreading across his face.
“It’s a deal,” he says.
You could probably count the individual dust specks floating in the sunbeams pouring inside the classroom.
Warm water trickles down your hands and into the sink below as you rinse off some paint brushes, before placing them in a discoloured, paint-covered bucket right beside you.
The museum has a variety of art classes, mostly for people who aspire to get their artwork shown in exhibitions. You aren’t any different from them𑁋you all seek the same goal, which is to be heard and recognised for your work; this small inkling to be known or even vaguely known by someone.
Once you finish cleaning up, you dry your hands on a rag and take a moment to look around the desolate classroom. The smell of paint and the sight of easels and canvases everywhere feels like home, but lately you’ve been questioning if it’s actually home, or just a temporary refuge. The question nags at you as you gather your belongings to put in your worn-out tote bag.
Stepping out of the classroom, you start to walk through the nearly empty museum, passing by hallways with art ranging from contemporary, to modern, to as far back as the classics. You’ve probably been through these halls a countless number of times𑁋retaining everything from the title of the piece to the artist’s name and technique𑁋and you would still be in utter awe.
However, just as you reach the main area of the museum, a figure peering up at a painting catches your eyes. The guitar case that hung on his shoulder stuck out like a sore thumb among every other person in the room, and the sight makes you chuckle to yourself because you recognise Joshua instantly.
You stand there for a moment, observing him from a distance as he studies the painting with a thoughtful expression. His fingers tap lightly against the strap of his guitar case, and you feel like if you focus even more, you could possibly see the thoughts wrapping around his head.
Joshua glances at his phone for a millisecond before turning around, abruptly stopping when he sees the sight of you standing not that far away from him. The corners of his lips lift into a gentle smile upon seeing you, or his face seems to almost brighten up entirely, you can hardly tell. He brushes a hand through his hair before offering you a small wave, which you reciprocate back with one of your own without any hesitation.
There’s a rush of warmth that flows through you as he approaches up to you.
You stare at him quizzically as you lift your hands up to sign, “What are you doing here?”
Joshua shoots a bashful look down at his own feet before picking himself back up.
“I wanted to see you,” he says quietly while signing, and his hand movements are as shy as his words.
His words hardly process for a few moments, and Joshua thinks he might have overstepped. The hopeful glint in his eyes dims subtly, replaced by a shy apology already forming in his hands at the shock to your features. Maybe wanting to see you was a bit too forward of him.
But it’s the way your hands nearly come in contact with his own to dismiss his worries that stops him mid-apology. You shake your head slightly, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
“I…” You start, then pause, because Joshua’s focused, unwavering, yet patient gaze tugs at something inside of you. Gathering your thoughts, you continue signing slowly, “I thought about seeing you too.”
A surprised, somewhat choked laugh escapes Joshua's lips, a sound as light and unexpected as what you just said. Relief washes over him, clear as the day outside and the sunlight streaming through the museum windows. He seems to hold his breath for a moment before a grin splits his face apart.
“Really?” he signs back, and it’s cute seeing how expressive he is when he’s surprised.
“Yes,” You reply back firmly, hopefully being able to emphasize it enough with your fisted hand.
Joshua rubs at his nose nervously, and even the gesture being so small feels charming somehow. The weight of your art supplies feels lighter in your bag than they have in a while.
“I have some time before practice though,” he shares, pondering lightly. “Would you like to grab a bite to eat first?”
Your lips lift at the offer, and you scramble a hand in your bag to retrieve your phone. But your fingers fumble, encountering only paint brushes and sketchbooks. Panic starts to rise in your chest as you frantically dig deeper within your bag. Your phone. It's not there. It’s probably back in the classroom.
You shoot an innocent look at Joshua, catching sight of his worried, furrowed brows. You try to explain to him with your hands, but your movements are hurried and you could tell he didn’t entirely understand. So you settle with a helpless shrug and a motion towards a deeper part of the museum, and he seems to catch on.
Joshua feels the hesitation in his step when he sees you turn around and begin walking away. Considering for a second, he catches up to you quickly, the sounds of his shoes bouncing off the museum floors.
He follows right next to you quietly, taking in the museum’s atmosphere as you navigate through the familiar halls. When the two of you reach a room, you hold the door open for him, and Joshua swears he hasn’t really seen anything like this before.
The room is large and very open, the natural lighting from the outside flowing in from the windows. Unused easels and canvases stood at the corners of the room. There’s a long, wooden table perched in the middle of the room, and a whiteboard that takes up a small portion of the wall. Joshua takes the time to look around as you dash to the cleaning station where you were putting up the supplies, and there was your phone𑁋sitting idly with a few drops of water on its screen that you wipe away.
Joshua is standing with his arms crossed at the whiteboard, eyes squinting as if he was trying to discern the faded markings. You stand right next to him once you come up, bringing your gaze also to the whiteboard.
He turns to you, seemingly inquisitive. “Is this an art class?”
You manage a nod. But you feel like it isn’t enough of an answer and decide to pull out your phone instead.
It’s an art class for the deaf, and for those who want to show their work in the exhibitions here
Joshua’s mouth opens in awe as he reads the words on your screen. A flicker of understanding lights up his eyes as he processes the information.
“That's amazing,” he tells you while signing back, expression visibly softening. “I had no idea they had classes like this here. How long have you been coming?”
He watches as you look back down to type on your phone, taking the few seconds as a chance for his eyes to drift over your features, silently taking in the concentration etched on your face. When you finish typing, you show him the screen.
Just for the past year. There’s only a few of us in the class. Sometimes I’m the only person who shows up though
“Ah,” Joshua only hums contemplatively. He glances around once more, as if trying to see the room through your perspective. “That must feel lonely sometimes.”
You nod, letting out a low sigh as you type out your next message:
It can be. But it's also peaceful. Gives me time to think and create without any distractions
“I get it.” Joshua nods with a small smile. “You’re dedicated. I admire that.”
Your heart swells a little at his words. It's always a vulnerable thing𑁋sharing a piece of your world with someone else, but Joshua’s presence seems to make it all a little less daunting, a little more comfortable.
Joshua’s eyes settle on a corner where a few canvases lean against the wall, seemingly forgotten or awaiting their turn under someone’s hand. He steps closer to it, running his fingers lightly over the rough edges of one of the frames, then turns back to you.
“Do you have any of your work shown here in the museum?” he asks curiously.
A rush of emotions floods through you, a frown caressing your face—pride sprinkled with uncertainty, hope clouded by doubt. You've always dreamed of showcasing your work, to be recognised and understood through your art. However, you feel a twinge of self-consciousness creeping in, because the dream of one day having your work displayed alongside the masterpieces lining the museum walls feels both distant and impossibly close at the same time.
Sensing your shift in mood, Joshua raises his eyebrows in question. You fumble with your phone again, typing out a response and showing it to him.
I’m not sure if my work is good enough for that
Joshua's expression softens even further. “But you wouldn't keep creating it if you didn't believe in it, would you?”
Oh, he’s got you there, you think. A certain warmth starts to spread through you at his perceptiveness, a twitch at your lips from a suppressed smile trying to break free.
“And even if you don’t believe in it right now,” Joshua starts, placing himself right next to you gazing down at the empty canvases waiting to be touched. “I believe in you. I mean it.”
You exhale softly, a weight lifting off your shoulders as you absorb his words. For the first time in a while, you begin to see your art through a different lens—not just as smears on a canvas, but as a reminder that this is something you love.
It’s been a while since someone’s said that they believe in you, and it hits you right in the heart.
“Is the painting in your place the one you want to finish for the museum?”
You nod in response to that, though the sullen look to your face doesn’t seem to exactly agree.
There’s an exhibition being held just a few weeks from now, which is also the deadline for submitting your painting, which was being judged. The pressure has been getting to you, admittedly, and it feels like time is slipping away faster than you can paint. But maybe, just maybe, you’ll get back home later today and pick up your paint brush without it feeling like a burden to hold.
Joshua says something you don’t catch quick enough when you face back to him, and you tilt your head in question.
“I’m not sure if I did the sign right.” And then he brings his hands up, signing to you, “Good luck.”
Heat crawls up your neck to his words, and a smile fights its way through the lingering uncertainties and stretches shamelessly across your face.
His hand comes awfully close to yours when he brings them down to the side.
You draw yourself away when you feel your phone vibrate in your hand, only seeing that it was some useless notification. Joshua fixes himself up as well, turning to you fully, and you both exchange shy grins.
“Food?” He brings his hand up to his mouth, almost mimicking like he was putting a piece of food there.
You adjust the strap of your bag and double-check to make sure you have your phone with you, before nodding. The two of you head out of the classroom together.
“So what you’re saying is that you’re both basically dating.”
The way your face scrunches up in visible disgust to Seungkwan’s words has Wheein shoving the younger boy with a daggered stare, nearly making the stick of tanghulu fall from his grasp.
“You can’t just claim that,” Wheein retorts back.
“He walks Y/N home! He’s been inside their place! He wants to see them! Y/N doesn’t even let us come inside their place these days and yet here’s this guy waltzing his way into their heart!”
“I can’t tell if you’re insulting him or thanking him,” Wheein points out playfully, raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms.
“I'm not doing either,” Seungkwan protests, feigning a snarky look. “I'm just stating the facts. If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it's probably a duck.”
At this point, your friends are speaking almost too fast for you to catch everything being said, but all you could do is bring your head down and gaze to your footsteps, a subtle, amused grin playing to your lips. They’re arguing about your life, and yet it makes you feel… acknowledged, seen, heard, because your world before seemed to revolve solely around you and your art only for the longest you can recall.
An adamant tap lands on your shoulder, and you bring your head back up to face Wheein.
“Isn’t the exhibition next week?” she asks, signing with a sense of urgency in her expression.
Your face falls a little, and the thought of the deadline and exhibition seems to loom over you like a dark storm cloud. It feels like yesterday you were just staring at a blank canvas, and now every inch of it is covered in a mess of colours that is undeniably far from what you can consider a masterpiece.
Wheein and Seungkwan could already tell by the weak nod that you give that you’re feeling the pressure of it all. The two of them exchange a knowing look with each other, and it isn’t long before you feel another tap at your shoulder. Wheein motions to something up ahead, and as you face forward in order to see what it was, a hand grabs at your sleeve and you find yourself being dragged forward by your two best friends.
You can hardly control where your feet are landing in front of you, and the only thing you could catch ahead is a crowd and the familiar sight of what appears to be the busking centre. There must be some kind of performance going on, and it peaks your interest.
The faces surrounding you are all bleeding out enjoyment, with their wide eyes and mouths blossomed into large grins. Their hands are all clapping in unison, some even mouthing the words to lyrics you can hardly make out.
You don’t recognise the small band that’s performing. But then you imagine Joshua being the one at the centre of the crowd, playing his heart out, captivating the audience just like how he captivated you, and the disappointment melts away.
You find yourself standing at almost the core of the crowd, with Wheein and Seungkwan clapping and cheering animatedly on either side of you. In an odd way, this position feels familiar, as if you’ve stood from this exact same angle before.
You're close enough to see the raw energy pouring off the musicians, the way their instruments become extensions of themselves𑁋the same as Joshua sitting across from you on the couch with his guitar in lap, eyes closed in concentration, and fingers dancing effortlessly along the strings. The memory of that night floods your mind, and you can almost feel the vibrations of his music under your fingertips once again.
It all brings a smile to your face.
As the music surrounds you, you can see the passion radiating from each band member’s face, carrying away the weight of the upcoming exhibition and the pressures you've been feeling. In this moment of respite, it's just you, your friends, and the music.
When you get back home to your apartment that night, you find yourself focusing on clicking through the photos on your camera roll, almost like you were searching for a particular one.
And then you find it𑁋the photo you took at the busking square all those weeks ago, the photo you took of that man singing and strumming along his guitar…
…the photo that you took of Joshua Hong, where you didn’t know his name at the time. And now, he’s standing in the middle of your thoughts, and singing directly to your heart.
It’s almost suffocating to be sitting in this chair right now. Your posture is stiff as a rock, legs shaking underneath your hands that were folded on your lap, other people𑁋other artists just like you𑁋surrounding you like flies.
You feel excruciatingly hot in your outfit, a formal one that you picked from the depths of your wardrobe that still somehow fits your body still. It’s been a while since you put this much effort into your appearance𑁋you can hardly remember the last time you dressed up like this, honestly𑁋and the unfamiliarity of it all prickles at your skin.
The day of the exhibition is more chaotic than you expected for it to be. It’s practically held to the public, where almost anyone can walk in and watch the event for themselves.
Across the vast room, you catch glimpses of other artists, seeing their diverse styles of clothing. There’s a woman with a shaved head and a tattoo snaking down her arm; at the far end, a man in a crisp suit, frown etched at his face, large glasses, with a neatly trimmed beard.
The walls are covered with various works of art, each piece representing the countless hours of dedication and passion of the artists. It’s a grand showcase, bigger than any small ones you’ve seen. The large hall that you’re standing in has been temporarily transformed into a visual showcase where curators and critics would walk around and judge the pieces. By the end of the night, only about half of the submissions would be considered to be permanently displayed in the museum. The thought makes your stomach churn with anxiety.
Joshua had sent you a simple Good luck! You’ll do amazing :) text before you arrived at the museum. It comforts you a little bit, but not entirely𑁋you feel like you’d feel better if he could be here with you in person. He couldn’t come because he had to look after the café. Wheein was also here somewhere too participating in the exhibition, clearly not anywhere near where you were placed in the vast hall.
The exhibition begins with a formal speech from the museum's director, who talks about the importance of art in society and how this exhibition aims to bring fresh perspectives to the world. As the speech concludes, curators and critics start moving around the large room, closely examining each piece and approaching all the other artists.
Your eyes follow a few as they approach your painting. They stand before it, whispering among themselves, their expressions indecipherable. You wish you could hear their thoughts, but instead, you focus on their body language𑁋the subtle nods, the thoughtful gazes. Some of them barely have their lips moving for you to be able to read them, while others are simply not speaking at all. At the corner of your eyes, you’re able to make out a few artists speaking with confidence to the curators, explaining their creative process and the message behind their pieces. Disappointment claws anxiously at your chest.
The sign language interpreter that is supposed to accompany you doesn’t show up until after a few crucial moments with curators have passed. By the time she arrives, introducing herself and quickly apologising for the long delay, you’re already feeling a sense of defeat settling in, struggling to muster the enthusiasm in your hands as you greet her back.
You have a hard time connecting with some of the visitors who stop by, heart sinking even more when they pass by your painting without pausing. Their attention is clearly drawn elsewhere𑁋that’s all you can think about as you watch them move on; their indifference is practically slicing through the air like a knife.
It’s like you’re invisible.
In the back of your mind, you figured this would happen. It wasn’t entirely your best work, or the best you’ve put your efforts in. For some reason painting didn’t come as naturally to you as it did before. If anything, it felt forced. The pressure to create something worthy had left you with a piece that felt uninspiring, meaningless.
You aren’t meant for this. This grand exhibition hall, the feeling of being judged𑁋it all felt like a journey’s away from the joy you used to find in simply creating. The other artists around you seem to belong in this environment more than you do. They stood proudly beside their work, and all you could do right now was let the lump in your throat tighten even more.
You aren’t meant for this.
By the time the big announcement comes, you catch a glimpse of the evening sky outside the large windows of the museum. A hush falls over the room as the museum director steps back forward. Even as you let your eyes drift between the director and your interpreter right next to you, you already knew deep within you that the night wasn’t ending in your favour.
“We congratulate all the artists whose works have been chosen,” the director says warmly, listing off names that resonate through the hall. Each name being called is met with applause and cheers.
Your name isn't called. You would know if it was if the expression on your interpreter’s face wasn’t so solemn, the meek curve at her lips that she wears doing hardly anything to ease you. Despite the sinking feeling, you send her a small, acknowledging nod, offering a tight-lipped smile of your own.
Wheein finds you when the evening starts winding down and the museum begins to clear away. She taps lightly at your shoulder as you’re packing your belongings, yet the eager look on her face is quick to fade once she sees the dejection painted all over yours.
“You’re not going to stay for a while?” Wheein asks, signing with concern, her brows furrowing as she watches you continue to pack your things. “I heard there’s an after dinner event later on, and they’re letting anyone join. Maybe you could meet some of the other artists!”
Letting out a quiet exhale, you shake your head, the movement small and defeated as you sign back, “Going to head home. Tired.”
“Are you sure?” Wheein insists. “I was planning to introduce you to some people𑁋”
“It’s okay,” You sign quickly, interjecting her words. But the pout and puppy-eyes that she gives makes you roll your eyes. “Congratulations. I’m so proud of you.”
A grin is swift to cross her face, and a few seconds later she’s wrapping her arms around you in a tight hug. You return the hug back, feeling a bit of your disappointment melt away in the face of your genuine happiness.
“I'll text you later,” Wheein signs after pulling back. “Please get home safe, okay? I love you!”
The dramatic kisses she blows in your direction make you laugh despite yourself, and you nod, giving her a small wave as you head out of the museum.
The cool night air nips at your cheek when you step outside, and you feel way less constricted in your clothes than being inside the museum. As you walk briskly down the street, you let the night clear away your muddled thoughts. Your feet seem to guide you, almost on autopilot, not quite ready to head home and face the solitude that’s waiting for you.
You pass by a few late-night cafés, convenience stores, and small shops, their warm lights spilling out onto the pavement.
The sight reminds you of Joshua.
And for some reason, that’s all it takes for your feet to pick up its pace. There’s almost determination you can feel in each step that you take, the thoughts of the exhibition pressing farther and farther into the back of your mind. If there’s anything that could make you forget everything that has happened today, it’s just seeing him for a moment. A singular moment.
The lights of the café switch off when you’re coming up to it. You come to a halt in your tracks, and your gaze lands on a lone figure stepping outside with its back turned towards you.
After a minute or two, the figure turns slowly, and you recognise Joshua's face illuminated by the fading light of the café's sign. There's a moment of hesitation before he notices you standing there just a couple of steps away, and when he does, his features seem to light up even brighter than the flickering stars above. But it’s quick to melt away when he watches the way you’re trudging up to him.
His eyes flicker over your face for a moment. “What happened?”
You could see the worry in the way he signs to you, his eyes searching your tired ones. He peers at you so softly that it nearly makes your heart ache. But there’s a comfort there that you desperately find yourself wanting to cling to.
Without a word, you simply lean your body forward, letting your head fall onto Joshua’s shoulder. His presence emits a warmth that brings you back from the high of cloudy thoughts and back down to the surface of safety.
Joshua’s eyes widen imperceptibly for a second, before a quiet understanding washes over his face. His arms twitch at the weight of you leaning on him, and then almost hesitantly, he slowly wraps them around you, fingers brushing against the small of your back tentatively, delicately, as if unsure its welcome.
His warmth seeps through your clothes and settles comfortably within the hollow spaces of your chest. You can feel his heartbeat, steady and reassuring, against your ribs, and smell the lingering scent of coffee on his shirt. A sigh escapes your lips, a soft exhale that contains the tension and worries accumulated throughout the day.
Joshua doesn’t press you. He can feel everything you feel in his embrace, everything you wish to let out. He can feel your dejection, your disappointment, knowing that your efforts, all the blood, sweat, and tears you put into your art had fallen short of your dreams. But he doesn’t pry or question. He simply holds you, and perhaps that’s all that matters right now𑁋he can’t let you fall apart. Not in his arms, anyway.
You don’t know how long the two of you stand there, right under the dim café light that casts down on your figures. When Joshua feels you shift in his hold, he loosens his grip ever so slightly, gaze caressing over your face for a few moments. His eyes hold a tenderness that makes your breath hitch.
There’s a reluctance in your movements as you start to peel yourself away from him. Joshua slowly lets his arms unfold from around you, but his hands linger for a moment, as if hesitant to fully let you go just yet. His expression remains gentle, silently asking if you’re okay; if there’s anything more he can do.
“It didn’t go well, did it?” Joshua asks warily. “The exhibition?”
All you do is shake your head, and a small resigned sigh tumbles out of you.
Joshua purses his lips together, brows knitting together in worry. He knows the sting of rejection all too well and how deep it could cut.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters quietly, fingers moving with a grace through the air that matches the empathy in his eyes. He’s been getting more confident recently in his signing. “But it doesn’t mean your art isn’t worth anything. You tried your best, and maybe that’s what matters. Remember what I told you before?”
You tilt your head in question, waiting for him to continue.
Then, all Joshua does is smile faintly, before picking his hands up to sign. He starts by putting his hand in a fist and sticking his pinky finger upward. Then he points his index finger to his forehead, before bringing it down into his open hand. Next he fixes his right hand downward, forming the other one into a cup shape, and dips the fingers of his right hand into it.
And finally, he points to you.
“I believe in you.”
The words fly off his fingers and wrap around you like a blanket. The proud look that he captures on his face is washed away in a fit of timidity, and you can’t help but chuckle, a genuine, warm sound that fills the night air, even if you didn’t notice how loud it is. It's the first real laugh you've had all night. And when Joshua hears it, a blush creeps up his neck, reaching to his cheeks. A relieved smile spreads across his lips.
When you gaze back up at him, the weight of the day feels a little lighter. Slowly, you lift your hands up to sign, ensuring each movement is clear and deliberate.
“I missed you.”
Joshua’s expression softens even further. He watches your hands, then meets your eyes, understanding completely. He lifts his hands to respond, fingers moving tenderly through the air, and responding with his voice,
“I missed you too.”
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Patience:~The host club declares dissolution!~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: The ouran fair and the arrival of the host club's families causes disruption. ➼ what to expect: "Anything you do will be in my name until the moment it becomes Ootori, bury your head in the sand all you like but is still mine." ➼ warnings: angst ➼ Part Twenty three | Part Twenty five
"Uh... aren't school fairs meant to be, i don't know, more about students proudly showcasing unique things they made by hand?"
"Perhaps for a mere average school yes, but at ouran the emphesis is on planning and leadership skills, keep in mind, most of our students are being groomed into leadership postions so they're required to showcase their talent for upward mobility, not arts and crafts"
The twins pull up with a horse drawn carriage before kyoya and haruhi, yourself sat in the back.
"We're rehearsing for the big ouran fair parade!"
"Wow it's just like something out of a fairytale!"
"How romantic" "Can we have a ride too?"
The eight of you all go on a lap around the courtyard "Hey you're getting pretty good at this" Hikaru turns back to kaoru "There's nothing to it, you should've practiced with me earlier"
"Well, just because we're twins doesn't make both of us good drivers"
"It's kind of neat having us all together like this for a carriage ride huh?"
"Oh and for the actual parade tomorrow we'll all be in 18th century-french costumes" Tamaki's statement causes your head to snap towards him "What?"
"I had them imported directly from france they are divine, I heard you've always wanted to go to the ball at versailles palace y/n"
"I...have...but something about dressing up as 18th century french artisocracy feels a little...tone death"
"but you'd look great as marie antoinette" "More like madame de pompedor"
The clock tower chimes to mark the hour "Ah the fairs opening ceremony has started let's make this fair the best one yet"
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
The host club declares dissolution!
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
"Okay we both know what we are doing right?" You whisper, you and Kyoya huddled in an alcove just outside the host club which was filled to the brim of guests and their parents.
"Yes y/n I know, but i still think this plan is risky, convening with some CEO's in the same room as both of our families while also facing the brunt of reactions of the announcement is quite the balancing act."
"I know, but we aren't going to get this opportunity again...well other than obviously next year but we can't wait that long"
Kyoya sighs "Yes...I know, you ready?" you nod, taking his arm as the two of you enter the host club.
"Kyoya ootori, it is good to see you, miss l/n, I heard congratulations are in order"
"Indeed, thank you sir" You both politely nod to those who approach you as you continue through the host club, occasionally subtely making arrangements to meet with certain individuals when you reach them.
"This is a bit too much even by our standards, you can buy a small country with the money we're wasting"
"Nonsense, that's not the host club way at all and you know it, happiness is above any price tag! Besides think about all the exposure!"
"No haruhi's right, you have overshot the budget, the use of the salon withstanding you had a period style carriage and costumes shipped all the way in from france. Must you be so capricious? Your impulsiveness overwhelms my accounting skills" Kyoya notes, standing in the centre of the salon with Haruhi and Tamaki. "Typical" Haruhi wanders off
"Whatever! Capricious is just another word for creative! I'll have you know that the whims of the host club king are the stuff of dreams! No price is too high!" Tamaki throws a fit.
"Father" Tamaki's demenour shifts entirely when the school's superintendent enters "Do not refer to me as Father, the term is far too familiar. You will address me properly as chairman"
"Kyoya we gotta do something" You whisper, him nodding back, already out of his seat. "Ah very good. welcome sir, please let me show you to your seat" Kyoya puts on his usual polite smile "Would you like a drink sir?" You add "Thank you, that would be lovely"
The two of you lead the superintendent away from Tamaki to a seat. "Kyoya my boy without you I'm sure this club would be in shambles. My son must give you no end of trouble."
"Oh on the contrary sir, your son's vision is what keeps us viable." you hum to agree "Indeed, while tamaki surely has big dreams it is also his dreams that bring in the most guests."
"I see, may I say it is wonderful to see the newly engaged couple working together so well, it is a shame though I must admit miss y/n, I was going to approach your father about possibly matching you with my son"
You pause at the revelation, not even imagining being engaged to tamaki "Oh... while i am flattered chairman our families agreement has actually been in place for many years, but only felt the need to announce it recently as we head towards our final year"
"Oh I see, well congratulations regardless"
"Would you like me to bring you anything sir?" The chairman motions for kyoya to come closer, whispering into his ear. He nods, standing "Haruhi, you're needed"
Haruhi hesitantly sits with the chairman.
Kyoya politely nods, taking your arm as the two of you step away from whatever is about to unfold "Kyoya"
the two of you freeze, knowing that voice very well, turning to find Yoshio Ootori, Kyoya's father. "Sir" You nervously smile.
"Y/n, it is good to see you, so close with my son might i add, I am glad to see that you two are well acquainted. May Kyoya and I have a moment?" You glance at kyoya with concern, who returns you with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "How about you go and check on the twins?"
You hesitantly nod, stepping away, immediately feeling the absence of his presence as you do so, however you do not get far as the sharp crack of skin to skin contact makes you freeze in your tracks, you whip back around to see that Kyoya had been sent to his knees glasses flown off in the process.
"This is how my son has been choosing to waste his time?"
"That's Kyo-chan's father isn't it?" Honey appears next to you "Yes, yes it is" You desperately avoid the urge to run over and cause more of a scene, despite the fact you want to, you know kyoya wouldn't want that.
"You are an embarrassment to the Ootori name" his father steps away, leaving an opening for you to swoop in. "Are you okay?" You reach up to fix his glasses "I'm fine" kyoya doesn't look at you, just over your shoulder towards the door.
"It looks like it's going to leave a bruise" You trace over the redness on his cheek, trying not to apply pressure. "It doesn't matter"
"Kyoya-" "Y/n listen to me, it does not matter" He nods ahead as you turn around to find most likely the only person who could make this worse. Your hand falls, turning around fully and all of a sudden it is like there is no feeling in your legs.
"Father" You slowly step towards the door. "Y/n"
You look down, suddenly the lack of pattern on the floor has become incredibly interesting. "Are you not going to welcome me in?" You look up but still not at him "I'll show you to your seat" you just about muster up the noise.
"Disappointing" he mutters, following you to a seat. "Haruhi? Would you mind getting my father an espresso shot? Thank you"
"Are you not going to ask me what I want? You just assume you want caffe?"
You raise an eyebrow "It is 1pm, like you would order a cappucino at this time" he seems to hum in approval. "I'm not sure i like your tone child, i thought you were meant to be a manager at this host club"
"Father why are you here? I know that this is not a social call"
"It is a social call, I have things to discuss with Mr Ootori, and with my future son in law of course." He stands stepping way too close for comfort "not to mention you have caused quite the stir, and I had to come see it for myself. See what exact rucuss have you been causing in my name"
"It is not your name it is mine"
"Anything you do will be in my name until the moment it becomes Ootori, bury your head in the sand all you like but is still mine."
"Sir I took the liberty of preparing your drink myself" Kyoya appears behind you, espresso cup in hand "Speaking of, thank you Kyoya" he sits back down, taking a sip.
"y/n would you give us a moment?" You a reluctant to leave kyoya with your father but knowing that he could hold his own you step away. "I think that Mr Maihara was wanting a tour of the gallery anyway" You step away.
"Strange, I thought his daughter went to Lobelia academy"
Kyoya sits opposite your father "The zuka club are frequent visitors, expecially during the cultural fair, some of his daughters artworks are here"
"Oh i see, I did consider sending, y/n there instead, keep her away from boys, but your father convinced me otherwise"
"Oh I see"
"Too much like her mother that one, too...independent" Kyoya raises an eyebrow "I would say that y/n's independence is one of her greatest assets"
He rolls his eyes "You are young kyoya, i was once like you, I am sure that her rebellious spirit is fine to you now. But you must learn that if you want to keep a girl like my insolent daughter you need to keep her in a guilded cage...make sure she doesn't stray away"
"Sir your daughter keeps out of trouble and gets good grades, by any measure she is the perfect heir to a company such as yours. Why do you speak as if she has spun out of control"
"Be that as it may kyoya, I know my daughter well, i look at her and see her mother, being led astray with her own ideas. That is why I am not making the mistake i did with her mother and keeping her on a firm leash. I only sent her to this...school...on the condition that she remained under your families survailance"
It is rare now a days that the rug is swept from beneath kyoya. but it was in this moment he was overtaken with vertigo. All these times that his family had asked about you, every time his police force insisted on your protection, every phone call he had made to them...it was not about your safety at all...it was about control.
Not only that but it made him wonder if that meant that he knew about what the two of you were planning.
"Sir...y/n told me about her mother...how she ranaway... left you and y/n when she was young...but that does not mean that y/n is like her"
Kyoya catches of a glimpse of Tamaki and his grandmother from across the room, realising that this battle was not going to be won right now "Excuse me" He stands, walking over but still keeping his distance, ready to step in if need be.
"So does he really plan to spend" "The entire fair escorting some stranger?" The twins question, watching tamaki walk off with a girl. "Eclair right? Or something similar" "Who is she to him thats the mystery"
"I could tell you" You appear, back from your meeting with mr Maihara. "Eclair Tonnerre, the youngest daughter of the renowned tonnerre family they descend from royalty"
"Indeed, the family has quite a history, their wealth is something of a legend among financial heavyweights. In fact, just being associated with them makes you a part of a very elite group. They also own grand tonnerre, a firm that has been buying up a lot of businesses in japan recently. Of course that doesn't explain why lady eclair has come here to visit tamaki" Kyoya explains, sitting nearby.
"Of course it does, isn't it obvious?"
"Huh?" You capture the host clubs attention.
"His grandmother wants Tamaki to marry lady eclair" you wander closer "How did you reach that conclusion?" Kaoru asks.
"Its what the chairman said to me earlier, that he was hoping to ask my father today for my hand on Tamaki's behalf but was beaten out by Kyoya and I's engagement-" "Wait what-" "-yes i know, I don't want to talk about it, anyway, it is clear that the chairman is looking for Tamaki to marry upwards to secure a good legacy for his only heir in the eyes of his grandmother because Tamaki is...well...we all know. Frankly there will be requirements for the chairman to even consider, wealth, power, most likely european, that shrinks the pool greatly. I'm already engaged so it could only ever be lady eclair...or well...renge"
You sigh, standing up "The truth is we are growing closer and closer to graduation. I think the engagement announcement was just the start of many things...which reminds me, kyoya, a word please" He is quick to rise out of his seat "Indeed" he takes your arm, leading you out into the gardens.
"I think your father is onto us" you hum "I would be inclined to agree, but the question is how much he knows, not to mention the presence of Lady Eclair is not good for us, I think she may be trying to do the same thing as us. There is also...one more thing"
"Hm?"
"All this time I thought that your father the one who is trying to hold on to the engagement, that he was the one with the most to lose if it breaks down…I’m starting to think it may just be the opposite, why else would he push forward the announcement”
Kyoya debates whether or not he should tell you what he learnt, but something withheld him from doing so. There was enough going on this weekend, you didn't need this aswell.
"I think...for whatever reason, your father wants access to the black onion squad"
"I can't see why...perhaps I have been so focused on looking into the Ootori group that I haven't been considering why my father would put himself at so much risk"
"Well...as someone once told me, the closer you look, the less you see"
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
The host club members changed for the second time that day. "So where did the boss go?" "He was looking forward to this the most"
"Our king is lounging in music room 3, entertaining lady eclair"
"Well well well" "Looks like someone's a little jealous"
"Like I said i'm not"
"Like you said?"
"Look i...i just think that he's being more irresponsible than usual today you said it yourself Kyoya-senpai, he's impulsive"
"True, he certainly is, but in this instance he's obeying the whims of his grandmother"
"Um, now that i think about it, Tamaki-senpai's grandmother seemed really cold towards him earlier. Is there some special reason for that?"
The club members exchange glances "Well, everybody else knows about it" "See, Tamaki-senpai is illegitimate"
"See, twenty-something years ago, the suoh family patriarch died at a young age, for political reasons chairman Yuzuru rushed into marriage to the behest of his mother to a woman of her choosing, allowing him to become head of the family. But several years later the chairman fell passionately in love with a beautiful young woman he met in paris."
"Not long after Tama-chan was born"
"The boss' grandmother vehemently objected, because of her poor health, living in japan proved too difficult for senpai's mother so she raised him in france until he was 14. His childhood seems to have been a happy one, but as time went on, family business on his mothers side went belly up and they went into debt. When the boss' grandmother, worried about there being no heir to carry on the family name, came up with a proposal. Money to support his mother in exchange for tamaki coming to live in japan, with no contact between the two"
"Wow"
"While the patriarch of the suoh family may be chairman yuzuru technically, but for the time being all the family's assets remain under the control of Tamaki's grandmother. What's more, with his mother's health being so frail, Tamaki understood the grim prospects facing her if she were left to live in debt so...not long afterward, either out of anguish or just plain guilt over having bartered her son away for financial security, Tamaki's mother left France in shame and went into hiding, her current whereabouts is unknown. To this day, he's never seen her again. Not once." Kyoya explains, looking out over the salon.
He stands "It's easy to feel sorry for him, but the harships he endured as a child helped mold him into the person he is today. He'll be fine, the host club is his refuge so that means when all is said and done, he still has us"
The doors creak open, tamaki and lady eclair stood behind them. "Everyone I have an important announcement, as of today, Lady Eclair Tonnerre and I are officially engaged. Furthermore, the host club will be permanently dissolved after the ouran fair. That is all"
Next time on patience 'This is our Ouran Fair!'
Tag list (reply to be added): @skottch @cgmajor @rebirthbunbun @bbybubbles @blueberry19000 @katgirl05 @smellslikelovinglies @veras-fanfic-reblogs @sadprimrose @mirtalikesdr @sleeplesssskeleton @ritzes28 @crackpeole @rory-cakes @renjunniex @II-kita-san-II @angelicwillows @missbrebre1012 @sleep-7372 @strawberrbitch @reticent-writer @eternal-dokja @meme848 @mistyhydrangeagarden @nanaloverz @hyuninslutbbgirl @rebel-author-chick @voyager1fan @bubbabobabubbles @haowonbins @justtryingtosurvive02
#kyoya ootori#kyoya ootori x reader#ohshc#kyoya x reader#ohshc kyoya#ohshc x reader#ouran high school host club#ouran highschool host club#ouran host club#ouran hshc#kaoru hitachiin#ouran#ouran kyoya#hikaru hitachiin#haruhi fujioka#tamaki suoh
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Ok dear viewer, first of all

"Security Spritzer" is a real cool ship name and it should be used by more people
Secondly, *cracks knuckles* you are wrong, there is a word that can be used for them:
"Veer" - Swer(ve) x Red Al(er)t
Am i good at this or what? B)
Ok, after seeing how, usually, any ship name with Swerve ends up turning into like, an actual word
I started to see how i can come up with more ship names with that pattern for some of Swerve’s ships that dont have a name yet
Swerve ship names already existing (that i know of):
"Swagnus" - (Sw)erve x Ultra Mag(nus)
"Slurr" - (S)werve x B(lurr)
"Swift" - (Sw)erve x Dr(ift)
Swerve ship names I've been able to conjure with this pattern:
"Prove" - (Pr)owl x Swer(ve)
"Love" - Ve(lo)city x Swer(ve)
"Sung" - (S)werve x R(ung)
"Rave" - (Ra)chet x Swer(ve)
And an honourable mention made by my bestie, online sis @yayadrawsthingz who has grown obsessed with this ship:
"Shocker" - (Shock)wave x Sw(er)ve (it quite really is a shocker)
Feel free to suggest more Swerve ships to add to the list, I've been having fun coming up with these names. Or just share with me if any of yall can come up with the ship names
Or if i missed any of the already existing ones too! I only put the ones i know of
#just wanna keep in mind that this is actually a blurve fan child's name from a fic i used to read#it was kinda by accident. i was thinking of what letters could be put together and Veer came in#but i immediately remembered the fan child being called that#on another note#these aren't like ship names that NEEDS to be used#I'm doing this for silly fun bc there is such a funny naming potential#but they're also like actual words and having it be used as a ship tag may complicate things#(if the ship name “love” wasn't of any indication)#transformers#tf swerve#tf red alert#security spritzer#bc that's a cool ship name and imma use it#swerve ship names
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I am so hyped for Luke! I love sci-fi thrillers and I have a good feeling this is only the beginning of his new projects. That being said I find it REALLY strange how much attention the fandom gives adjacent social media but then flat out ignores VERY interesting Luke and Nicola activities. Like Luke liking that guiness merch post despite NOT following the account but Nicola was tagged in the comments by her friend Jack; she didn’t even like the post if I’m correct or at least hadn’t at the time Luke liked it 🥹. Then we have Luke reposting Netflix insta of Colin meme but the one RIGHT before Wordle In Two (a direct Nicola reference from her Emmys night) and despite he wasn’t tagged in it either. The October 3rd Mean Girls Polin meme which was something Lukola used to do together on twitter. The BRB at the airport and then Nicola posting being on a plane shortly after when BOTH Nicola and Luke have not posted about traveling while at the airport itself. That one I feel like was HUGE and feels way more than a bit coincidental. The “people really want me to marry Luke” TIME magazine article. Oh and I’m sorry almost FORGOT the part where Nicola was announced for an audiobook about two Costars leads who characters are together in a period drama and then end up falling IN LOVE in real life! Like all of these things when you look at them are pointing in a certain direction of Lukola being together but somehow there’s just more weight put on other things that aren’t from Luke and Nicola? Not to also mention Nicola making an effort to scrub her tags associating her and JD as romantic partners. Yeah I mean we’re all speculating of course but just seems so weird to me that any Lukola positive signs get swept under the rug but the tiniest adjacent post is analyzed with a microscope lol. That being said I love your blog and appreciate you highlighting the actual people involved in the Lukola ship; Luke and Nicola lol.
Literally any thing pertaining to Luke and Nicola either together or separate is just tossed out the window the moment certain people show they're online.
It's mad annoying. It needs to stop.
Also, thank you anon for your kind words. I truly appreciate it 😊
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Disgraced Prince Hans of the Southern Isles x SleepingCursePrincess!Reader || Oneshot
*feat the Evil Queen, Ursula and Maleficent as 3 evil witches.



Plot: When Hans' true loves kiss actually breaks a curse. // Or // Imagine prince charming waking you up from your sleeping curse,, except YOUR prince charming is bound in cuffs and chains and a guards big strong hand on his shoulder when you wake.
Also, Hans is having recurring nightmares of being stalked by 3 long-dead fairytale witches (Well, 2 and a fairy) from somewhere very far away (Or very far below). That cant have anything to do with this sleeping curse can it?? 🤔
Warnings: Save for the cursing- nothing that's not already in Disney Movies. Unedited. Also may or may not make sense at all.
Tagging: @asperol-with-izzy , @disney-android-foundation , @lady-love88 , @marinerainbow , and @ryantryan6969 .
All the way back home, Hans was having dreams. Or nightmares. Nightmares of sharp nails scraping and grabbing him, eyes on him, and mysterious whispering voices. He'd wake up and he'd still be half back there, he would still hear their voices, even with the ship swaying and dipping under his body and dirty water trickling under the door into his cramped little cupboard-cabin. The long journey felt even longer with these dreams hanging over him; there being nothing else to occupy his mind except the humiliating near-miss Hans suffered in Arendelle.
Ugh.
He's new~ What's he in for, hmm?
You know I don't know that, sea witch. He's no use to us anyway.
Some powerful witch, you are. We can see him but we don't know anything.
-I don't see you doing anything, fairy.
No matter darlings~ He's cute. Much better then our old one-handed captain barnacle breath, hm?~
Don't get too excited, Ursula. He could be as boorish as Gaston.
Oh don't say that. What do you think, queenie?
Whatever.
The names swam around in his head like whatever beasts lived under the sea beneath the ship. Ursula, Gaston. But then there were more.
What are you hoping to find in these baby villains you keep watching, anyway, queenie?
I don't know. A necromancer, maybe. We need to get out of here, don't you agree?
We already had one of those, remember? That 'horned king' creature was no help to us.
I'm open to suggestions, fish. Well? Any ideas in that tiny pathetic goldfish brain?
Oh, certainly none for you~
Great. Get out, go harass Claude or something.
What the hell was a 'horned king'?? That wasn't something that Hans would imagine himself. He's never had an interest in dumb fairytales, magic was no use to him. Power was power, and that came from being in charge. Being King. But... the closer to land Hans got, the fainter the voices became. As if the ocean had a closer connection to the source, like a looking glass. And that, surely, was the work of magic wasn't it??
... -then it got worse.
I think you need to leave this one alone, Hildie. He's becoming aware, like Yzma.
She was crazy, Maleficent.
Still.
Maybe its a good thing if he knows we're watching. It has been a while since we had any quality entertainment...
... Oh, now now dear Hildie~ Don't short-change yourself; you make an excellent fool.
Just for that, I'm not going to tell you what I plan to do to him.
By the time the ship docked, the disgraced Prince was all-nerves. And not entirely about seeing his dumb older brothers again or the punishment they're bound to enjoy giving him. What were those nightmare-witches talking about? 'do to him'?
It never crossed his mind once that whatever that meant could hurt you.
~
When Hans left, you were perfectly fine. A little upset that he was leaving you, and you knew his plan to marry the Queen of Arendelle- but, mainly fine.
So why are you laying in your bed in the middle of the day, now? Why did you look... dead?
Hans found his voice for the first time since Arendelle, an accusatory tone lacing through his words, turning to look directly at the dignitary that lead him here to this room. He was loud and clear, as if he was still important here. "What happened to them?"
"I believe they were cursed, sir, while you were gone." When Hans eyes narrowed slowly, the little man sped on. "Your- your brothers do not wish for you to know ab- about this, but I believe it to be the only way to save the princess."
"... how do you mean? Talk faster, or I'll have your throat slit in an instant."
Surely the man knew that line was just an empty promise, because he clearly had no power anymore- he had bars wrapped around his wrists, a short chain between them, and a guard (Well-paid by the dignitary) glaring at his back. But the dignitary spoke faster anyway; a nervous man. "I- I believe a true loves kiss could wake her, sir! I believe that true love to be you!"
"True loves kiss?" Jesus christ, that pissed him off. If he never heard those words again it will be too fucking soon.
The man looks surprised, at this harsh reaction from the prince. His voice goes pathetically small. "... Well, aren't you and the princess be- betrothed!??"
"Yes." That was true. You were. And you did love each other- since you were kids. Since he was 6 and you were 5, and you would send him letters every week even when everyone else forgot he existed.
That didn't make Hans like any of this any better.
"P- please your highness." The dignitary begged, his eyes flickering from him to you and back.
Hans looks back to you, a scowl still on his face. You looked alive, at least. Just... very still. And you never slept this way, flat on your back. graceful. You weren't supposed to share a bed until you were married, but you had- so he knew you slept like a graceless freak. There was definitely something wrong.
And there were those dreams... "The witches." Hans whispers, glaring at your form. Except he wasn't glaring at you, he was glaring at Them.
Not that you weren't used to that look on his face. That was pretty much just his face.
"... P- pardon me?"
"What!?"
"You said some something, sir."
"No, I didn't." With that, Hans shrugs the guards meaty hand off his shoulder and kneels by your bed. Picks up your hand on his and holds it to his chest. His eyes soften a tiny bit this close to you, where the other men in the room couldn't see it happen.
Goddamnit, he thinks. Its worth a try.
~
When Hans' lips touch yours in that quiet room, watched by a cranky guard and a nervous dignitary, he feels scarcely a breath slipping past yours. The only way that he knows you're alive is by the very very slow rise and fall of your chest.
In just a manner of moments, though, your fingers come to life and grip his, and you breath in deep through your nose, kissing him back. Like magic.
Despite himself, a small smirk slithers across his face after he finishes kissing you, watching your pretty eyes open up and look foggy- then confused- and he's yanked back up to his feet by the oaf of a guard in charge of him. "Time to go."
"Hey! Wait, I demand you- "
"You're no boss of mine these days, princey." The man growls into his ear, a note of cruelty in his voice. What did I ever do to this guy? Hans wonders, scowling again.
"Wait!- " That was your voice, oh so confused. Your eyes are big and round, taking in the scene. The dignitary quickly helps you to stand, but doesn't let you approach Hans.
"Please princess, he has to go. Everything will be explained."
"But- "
She cuts herself off, this time. But she doesn't need explanation. Hans watches the realisation dawn on her as her calculating eyes drift slowly from the guard, to him.
The plan went awry. Now he's in serious trouble.
"Don't worry, Y/N."
"How am I supposed to not worry!??"
"Just promise to write to me, huh? Promise."
"... fine." And I'll yell at you with every letter of the alphabet, her eyes tell him. He chuckles. Yeah, I got it.
"Come on now, lover boy. To the tower."
~
Not 10 minutes later, the tower cell slams shut on him. Dust from the roof falls down on his shoulders and hair, and his cuffs are still clamped down tight around his wrists creating dark purple bruises.
... after a moment, Hans curses and kicks a hard stone wall. "Fuck!"
-and then a familiar voice creeps into his mind again. The witch. 'Hildie'.
"Great. Now that I know you're hearing me, prince, I have some instructions for you.
And understand; if you don't do as I say I am fully prepared to give your sweet little princess another gift. One she wont be broken so easily out of. So listen carefully.
... first of all my name is not 'Hildie'. You may call me your majesty."
#hilda is so tired 😭#she needs to get OUT. and leave all the other idiots in hell.#she is about to make hans her bitch.#Prince Hans of the Southern isles#Prince Hans x Reader#Prince Hans x Reader Oneshot#Prince Hans#Prince Hans of the Southern Isles x Reader#Prince Hans of the Southern Isles x Reader Oneshot#The Evil Queen#Evil Queen Grimhilde#Ursula#Disney Ursula#Maleficent
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Hi!
Thanks for opening your inbox to all sorts of rants and opinions. You being so nice and accepting made me want to rant about something I haven't seen someone complain about yet lol (there's joy in being a hater as long as you don't lose your mind about it.)
Mine is less about the show and more about the fanfiction. I love Bucktommy fanfic, but as a new watcher, I sometimes want to read more gen fic like the 118 as a found family or something from before Tommy came back in s7.
But it is literally impossible to find any of these fics that don't have casual, background Buck x Eddie! Even after I've filtered out every single possible tag pertaining to that ship, there will always be a background moment that implies romantic feelings between them—as if them being a couple is canon or just a given. Always without tagging anything about it, even though the "background ship" tag is right there.
And it's so infuriating, bc I'll start a really good fic about like Maddie and Buck's sibling dynamic or Buck and Bobby's relationship (which I love!) or some kind of canon-style case fic or even a fic (erroneously!) tagged "Buck & Eddie" for best friendism—and, if it isn't a Bucktommy fic, at some point Eddie and Buck will have some kind of romantic energy with each other. The worst cases are when it's just other characters being like "well of course Buck and Eddie are going to end up together at some point. Just look at them. Also Buck is Chris' dad." It's come to the point where before reading any gen fics, I click on the author—and 99% of the time, every other one of their fics is Buck x Eddie.
It's so frustrating as someone who reads a lot of fic and wants to read a lot of different kinds of fic. In an ironic way, by constantly doing this, non-Bucktommy fic writers are just pushing me back into reading ship-only fanfic.
Absolutely nuts. Anyway, thanks for listening!
Hi! Thank you for your kind words! And apologies in taking a bit to respond, I decided to take the weekend off in preparation for the upcoming chaos this week
Honestly - big time agree! There are two tags that I personally enjoy a lot, and those are Post-Lawsuit, and the Tsunami tag. I love when we get to explore the 118's dynamics more, and as a Buck girlie I love to give him angst, so those two tags are perfection.
However! It's downright rare to find a fic in those tags that isn't about Buddie. Even the ones that don't have them getting together during the story heavily imply they will, or they do any of the things you so well explained. It used to annoy me even when I shipped Buddie, but now it's made the fics impossible to read for me, which ngl, sucks.
It also annoys me when all the characters are either Well of course they were going to get together / we all had bets on when you were going to get together / their love is superior and nothing like we've ever seen, etc. Buck being painted as Chris's dad also annoys me (less when I shipped Buddie to be fully transparent, but now it truly does annoy me lmao), as well as when Chris calls him Bucky (that might be partly because of my Marvel-obsessed-ass, lol).
Another thing that annoys me heavily is when they minimise Maddie's role in Buck's life, or downright play her as the villain (which, wtf), or treat her like she's a family friend at best, and not Buck's literal family and, arguably (especially pre-Tommy) the most important person in his life. Like. Bffr. The way that Jee-Yun (and Chim, too) is highly ignored also ties into this. It's like they minimise/reduce/ignore everyone in Buck's life that adds something to it, and instead choose to give it all to Eddie, in order to fulfill their fantasy. And by doing so, they full-on ignore reality and twist it in a way that Buddie seems co-dependent, when they're not.
And I will say I wouldn't mind it if it stayed in fanon. The issue here is that this world created in fanfiction is then, somehow, being taken as the actual canon. That's why so many Bobs are so mad whenever the show doesn't play into their Buddie is co-dependent and raising a child together, and everyone is in love with their love.
Anyway. I got sidetracked a tiny bit, sorry! Long story short: I heavily agree with you. I won't judge the writers for putting whatever they want in their stories, but it is a bit frustrating to go into a fic that does not have romance (or pre-relationship) tagged or indicated at any point, to then be hit by it. Or, more recently, to start reading a Bucktommy fic and realise midway through that it is endgame Buddie (it is especially upsetting if the fic also has Tommy bashing and it does not say that in the tags or summary)
Tagging correctly is important!
Anywho, sorry for this long rant, lol. I hope to have helped with my reply, and thank you for finding this blog a safe enough space to rant <3
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hi! just asking your opinion on RPF, i’m very very new to the proship/fanfic community and really don’t know how to feel abt it. i haven’t heard anyone’s takes on it so far so i’d love to hear your thoughts!
RPF is just another form of fiction. Its no different to any kind of other fictional literature, fandom space, creative action, ect. The people are, essentially, just characters. You're using them to tell a story.
A lot of people's issue with RPF comes into play because of individuals who ignore the proper etiquette behind RPF and ruin it for everyone. The general concern is that unlike fictional characters, real people are capable of seeing what you create and getting upset, offended or angry over it.
This is where its important to remember the following rules regarding RPF:
Never send RPF to the people whom it concerns, people close to them or people in reasonable contact with them. Personally, even if an actor has said they don't mind RPF about themselves, I wouldn't push it on them. Accepting something's existence isn't always the same as wanting to be invested or involved in it.
Similar to above, make sure you're not tagging them or using searches the person is known to frequent. (E.g; if you're posting ship art, don't tag the people involved.)
Where possible, keep RPF to closed-off websites like AO3 and Tumblr where the people involved would actually have to go looking for it in order to be exposed to it. (Sites like X are next to impossible to actually curate and monitor and are awful for this kind of thing.)
Ensure you are properly tagging and marking your content so in the instance it can't fully be prevented from reaching the person/people, they are explicitly aware of what it is. (Another reason why sites like Tumblr and AO3 are simply the best option.)
Anyone who is famous will be aware that there are people who view them and use their image sexually. Every single famous person knows this. In industries like kpop, even, bromances are actively marketed because they know its lucrative and sought after.
Famous people are also more than aware of how to avoid content they don't want to see. They're aware of sites like AO3 and know once they go there its a lawless (albeit well tagged) wasteland of hardcore smut and the unimaginable. They know if they don't want to see certain things they simply have to stay away from certain platforms, tags, key words, ect.
Famous people aren't helpless little ducklings accidentally stumbling upon twisted non-con fanfic of them and their colleagues on an hourly basis like some people assume.
Although RPF is just another form of fiction is does require a bit more respect, conduct and consideration. That's all.
#myfandomrealitea#sephiroth speaks#fandom#proship#reality#proshipping#RPF#real person fiction#shipping real people#profic#profiction#fiction#fanfiction#fanart
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Not to be dramatic or anything, but thank you for your great chasemarsh art and for drawing the girls. Sometimes I genuinely worry that Victoria and Kate would be forgotten by this fandom, when they shouldn't bc they're also very important female characters to the story. people tend to treat Max and Chloe as if they're the only female characters so thank u for doing Kate and Vic justice!
Heya!
Thank you for the kind words, both Kate and Victoria are hella important characters and I'm glad to see them still get love. One of the things that motivated me to start making fanart was seeing how barren the other character tags were compared to Chloe, Max and Rachel
At some point Chasefield was the 2nd most popular ship in the fandom but as time went on I feel like the new batch of fans we're getting didn't really explore the game's world as well as the older generation did or got into the franchise through watching speedruns or even worse, they saw tik tok edits of only the max/chloe scenes and nothing else
It's actually painful lol we used to have ask blogs for characters like Brooke, people would do shitposts and scenarios that involved all the other blackwell kids- now whenever i feature them somewhere id get questions on who's who
I'm hoping that my project at least has that old fandom spirit of appreciating Arcadia Bay and the world building
---
speaking of VortexVN, I'm gonna start doing monthly updates. So far in January I managed to do the following;
-Added in an achievement system
It's gonna be list/text only, adding in pictures and stuff is just beyond my basic programming knowledge but I will include funny references specific to each route
-created a character sheet for Victoria:
i actually don't like how her sprites turned out i'm gonna revamp them next week
-Polished the waking up cutscene:
won't show the whole thing but this is the third frame
also just wanted to say that the demo launch was a success!
As of January we reached 59 downloads for the PC version and 80 browser plays for the web version, so in total 139 people played the demo... Holy shit amazeballs
Now going into this I knew it will never reach Love is Strange numbers and level of hype cause it's been almost 10 years but oh my god I didn't expect this many people playing lol
It’s kind of a gamble making a fan game featuring a divisive/antagonistic side character
my goal was around 50 downloads and browser plays for the FINAL RELEASE of the game, we hit that shit on day one with the goddamn demo- ya'll are amazing for that
I'm gonna try my best to get this project done as soons as May or June of this year, game deving isn't easy but I will try to update yall on a monthly basis.
Next week's tasks are the new journal entry and revamping Victoria's sprites
#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#victoria chase#chloe price#kate marsh#chasemarsh#rachel amber#chasefield#VortexVN#VVN update January
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Jegulus vs Platonic Prongsfoot
As MUCH as I love Sirius black who gets dramatically disgusted whenever Jegulus are being remotely PDA, horrified Regulus because of PDA prongsfoot will be my favorite.
Regulus who'd walk in on prongsfoot so snuggled up they look like 1 person, sharing a blanket watching a movie and they'd invite Regulus in like nothing is amiss.
Regulus who'd hear things like "Oh, fuck me Prongs, that shirt is squeezing the life out of your tits!" Or "Padfoot, if you don't turn around and let me appreciate your ass right now--"
Regulus learning against his will that James and Sirius loves to literally sleep with each other. Although they will find out they actually just like going to sleep with someone.
Them always kissing each other good bye (not in the lips), sometimes calling each other husband, the love of their life, soulmate, etc. An on-going dramatic bit they have.
Drunk prongsfoot is even worse because all the restrictions are off.
They'd be holding each other by the sides of their faces, spilling words of love declaration to each other.
"You know, I will always find you in every universe."
"But you don't have to, we're together in every universe."
"Bro."
"Bro."
Regulus has learned the hard way that he has to stop or distract them by that point because otherwise, they would get so overwhelmed with their love and start crying.
Most of the time he doesn't mind because he knows this won't ever become romantic nor does he get jealous because he's a private person so PDA made him uncomfortable.
And because he learned from veteran Remus that eventually he will get used to it and it just won't surprise him anymore.
Also Remus would say something like "Actually this isn't the worst of it, they're pretty tame now that you've come around." And it low-key terrifies Regulus.
As I'm writing this, I'm realizing this could apply to Jily though I won't tag it. Basically romantic Sirius and James ships will always third wheel platonic prongsfoot
#can you guys tell i ship prongsfoot or no#i think i got carried away here#jegulus#wolfstar#starchaser#platonic prongsfoot#platonic moonwater#james potter#regulus black#remus lupin#sirius black#mauraders#dead gay wizards#mauraders era#maurders era#james loves regulus#sirius loves remus
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I saw a anti Kataang post that says this:
“Kataang shipper: Katara ending up with Aang is more romantic and more revolutionary because Aang and Katara are both victims of the Fire Nation and are both sole survivors of genocide.
Also Kataang shippers: Katara and Zuko can never have a healthy relationship because having the shared trauma of losing their mothers makes any romantic relationship they might have toxic!
Please, I beg you, please, please look up the actual definition of trauma bonding before throwing it around so casually.”
Then the tags says “#why is sokka always forgotten when we talk about being a victim of the Fire Nation? #I don't think that word means what you think it means #empathy is the word you're looking for”
What do you think of this?
I actually don't care for the whole "they're both survivers of a genocide" when it comes to symbolism for Kataang, because although it is there, it is not that interesting to me as the PERSONAL role that plays for them.
Aang is the reason Katara ever left home and became a master waterbender, and that positive change in her allowed her to be his teacher, which allowed him to grow stronger and defeat Ozai, thus bringing justice to both of their nations - and not only they did give each other the tools to fight, they were there for each other emotionally during hard times, something Zuko couldn't do because he was actively playing an antagonist role to them in said hard times.
Zutarians calling that "trauma bonding" is not only absurd, it's a blatant attempt of both downplaying how key of a POSITIVE figure Aang was in Katara's life, while Zuko was nothing but negative for 90% of it, literally being a threat to her well-being and to her loved ones.
Also, VERY bold move of them to try to use "Sokka is traumatized too" and "trauma bonding" as some kind of "gotcha" against Kataang fans since Zutarians constantly go on and on about how "they both lost their moms!" (like nobody else in the show lost a parent, like Sokka didn't lose the same mom as Katara) and how it's "two nations coming together" (like there aren't TONS of both fanon and canon ships to which that applies to, including Kataang).
Once again, it's just zutarians being mad that Katara's bond with Aang is super meaningful to the narrative as a whole and to her individual arc, regardless of the romance side of it. Pure jealousy.
They WISH Zuko and Katara had that multiple-season dynamic of mutually saving each other in every way, that's why the hyperfixate on the events of the finale and straight up LIE about Katara having anything to do with Zuko's motivation to redeem himself or having been Prince Karl Zuko Marx that made her realize she didn't have to do all the chores at camp (which she canonically never fucking had to endure)
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🩸 — 𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍!
since the spooky season is fast approaching, and as a little kinktober appetizer, @psychedelic-ink and i have decided to do a little writing challenge to get us all excited and in the mood to be gripping the sheets from the spooky thrills of course.
and to keep this fun we have given you many many options! we have compiled a twelve day prompts list you can go by, or if that's not your thing we have listed twenty three different pick and choose options to create whatever kind of fic you want, even if you want to do half the days daily prompts but switch out this prompt dialogue for that au or trope or kink, you can literally do whatever your heart desires!
THE RULES.
the challenge will go on from the 19th - 30th of this month. you can do as many or as little amount of days as you choose.
any fandoms are welcome, literally any characters, ships, but please no rpf.
no minors should be interacting with let alone posting for this challenge.
dark content, light content, dubcon/noncon, is all welcomed but please tag everything accordingly. grooming, underage, and incest however are not allowed.
there are no word limits but please use that readmore.
tag #hauntedhoedown so we can read and reblog your work!
DAY ONE: taboo au + "i'll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into."
DAY TWO: murder plot au (lets kill this person together) + "crawl to me"
DAY THREE: inspired by your favorite lana del rey song (if not a lana fan then any fav song of yours) + stalker / yandere au or love triangle gone wrong
DAY FOUR: artificial intelligence au + "here, you are. you tiny thing."
DAY FIVE: gothic au + “worship me. until i tell you to stop.” + a masquerade au or a good ol' priest au
DAY SIX: animal shapeshifter au + "he's a monster" + "he's perfect"
DAY SEVEN: stranded au or slasher / summer camp au + sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)
DAY EIGHT: cosmic horror au + "you're a fucking nightmare. kiss me."
DAY NINE: “do you like it when i bleed for you?” + the toxic exes trope or cult au
DAY TEN: zombie apocalypse au + "every moment might be our last, let's make the most of it."
DAY ELEVEN: black swan au or inspired by your fav psychological thriller + “they die for love, you kill for it.”
DAY TWELVE: vampire court au + "forever isn't long enough for me to forgive you."
if following the above isn't your thing and you want to pick and choose yourself that's great! we also highly rec this random generator if you wanna live life by the edge, each category has 23 options to pick and choose from so customize the generator accordingly!
AUs:
steampunk / cyber punk
fairytale retelling
revenge
mythology / monster
virtual reality
gothic
taboo (see great options here)
slasher
game gone wrong
witchcraft
addams family
bonnie and clyde
spy / secret agent
assassins
x-files
circus / carnival
hitch hiking
basement wife
time travel
urban legend(s)
american horror story inspired
vampire / supernatural
pirate / mermaid
DIALOGUE PROMPTS:
"do you like when i touch you like this? i can keep going if you want me to."
"i can see how badly you want this, so i'm going to make sure you get it."
“this fear you feel? it won't last.”
“you are mine, whether you agree or not.”
“why do you keep following me?”
"i can't stop thinking about how perfect we would be together."
"you're not actually scared are you? of me?"
"i'm so close, can you feel it?"
"tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it, no matter the cost."
"you're like a sickness, a disease, and the only way for me to be cured of you is to let you completely consume me until my body has no fight left."
"i want to see you bleed."
"they're dead...because of you."
“i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you.”
“everything i've done.. every horrible atrocity, it's been for you.”
"it's just a little blood."
“don't you know how sick with love i am for you?”
“i would burn the world for you.”
"this is so fucked up." "you like it."
"finders keepers."
"what's your favorite scary movie?"
"tell me you want me back. tell me i'm forgiven."
"you're a monster." "that's never stopped you before."
"i've killed for you, who else can say that?"
TROPES:
mob / mafia
soft!dark
dubcon / noncon
soulmate / fated mates
mind control / telepathy
cheating
final girl
once is not enough
haunted manor
dark academia
enemies to lovers
haunted object
vengeful ghost
coven
ritual / sacrifice / blood magic
unrequited love
creation / creator vs monster
'i'll find you in every universe / century'
reverse harem
cursed / fuck or die
curiosity killed the cat
theatre phantom
fate worse than death
KINKS:
biting
corruption / authoritarian
somnophilia
begging
dacryphilia
breath play
knife play / blood play
jealousy / sharing / possessive
aphrodisiacs
hunter / prey
humiliation / degradation
mirror sex
deprivation / immobilized / bondage
costume
size
orgasm denial / overstimulation / edging
body worship
shotgunning / swallowing / facial
gagging
torture / surrender
hate sex / make up sex / phone sex
magical healing [redacted]
soft!dom / pleasure!dom
ETC PROMPTS:
a summer fling gone horrible wrong, or right
1970s porno filming (turned into a blood bath)
touch her and die except who the hell are you and why are you obsessed with me?
a trip to the circus (or carnival) ends with you stuck there...forever
you just inherited this creepy mansion where people where murdered what could go wrong?
a ritual gone wrong and now i'm bound to a demon
if 'this person' ever found out about this they would kill both of us (literally)
oh no i'm dating the town serial killer
passionate professor tells me to prove my devotion to the craft / class by doing something insane
we're the last people on the planet and you will be mine
daydreaming about being with you is better than actually being with you because i missed all the red flags and now it's too late
i got casted out of my world and ended up wounded and bloodied in your backyard, convince me why i shouldn't destroy your world out of anger
vampire has a taste for specific blood and looks like you have it
the creepy neighbor is too hot to be insane, right?
i keep seeing them in my dreams and i wake up with bruises and marks on my skin, it's definitely just wild dreams, right?
loving you is easier than hating you
got stranded in some little town that seems so cute, until night hits
'this person' ordered me to kill you but i actually think i'm in love with you
my lover is wearing the same costume as you and i can't tell the difference but i'm pretty sure it's them i'm fucking in this closet...pretty sure
confessing to a murder via a silly little ghost story around a campfire (but someone reads through the lies)
how far would you go for love? for the one you love?
in a past life you were the cause of my death so i'm here to exact revenge now that i've found you
we're at a fun little horror movie reenactment except people are really dying
we tried to make this writing challenge as fun and very 'choose your own adventure-like' as much as possible because we know how hard it is to stay motivated when doing these things.
so please feel free to use any and all of the prompts, tropes, kinks, etc as you wish. we're just super excited to see what ya'll come up with!!
so good luck and stay slutty spooky <3
#if yall don't participate in this i will actually cry lmao#haunted hoedown#writing challenge#kinktober#! challenges
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Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.
Eddeth
Day #30 - Fame & Fortune | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Eddie | Pairing: Fake!Eddeth, Steddie | Tags: Modern AU, Stop Trying to Make Eddeth Happen, It's Not Gonna Happen, Eddie & Gareth Are Best Friends, They Are Also: Idiot², Paparazzi, Social Media, Luddite Eddie, Steve Harrington Has To Clean Up All Their Messes, But What Else Is New?
"Did you know they're shipping us?"
"Shipping us where? I hope they poke holes first," Eddie says, looking over at Gareth as he's scrolling on his phone. Gareth isn't listening to him, doesn't even laugh, which Eddie thinks is rude. That was a great dad joke.
He's picked up dad jokes from Steve, because Steve's corny as fuck.
"Not like that," Gareth says, "like, shipping us together. We have a name and everything."
"Speak English," Eddie demands.
"You know, like Bennifer? But we're Eddeth," Gareth says.
"Who's Bennifer?"
"Which version?" Gareth asks, "Nevermind. You don't care. It's the ship name for Ben and Jennifer together. Do you never read the tabloids?"
"No. And I don't like that," Eddie says.
"Well, I knew you wouldn't. But now they're thinking about us. Together. Romantically. Enough that we have a mash-up of our names together."
Eddie barks out a laugh, "Well, alright. Whatever floats their boat."
Gareth sits there quietly for a bit, then says, "Maybe we can use this. Drum up some attention for the band. Get our name out there. Be a trending hashtag."
"I don't know what that means," Eddie says.
"I know you don't. But we could, like, get in the zeitgeist."
"I hate everything you're choosing to be right now," Eddie says.
"Eddie. This could blow us up."
"Well, sure, in that case I'll tell Steve to just step aside."
"Not for real, dummy. Just for the paparazzi. Get our names talked about more. If they see more of the band, they may like the band more."
Eddie says he'll think about it, but he has no intention of doing any of that. They are exactly the right amount of famous. He can walk down the street without being harassed, but they live comfortably. He isn't about to upset that apple cart.
But it persists. There's buzz, apparently. At least according to Gareth, anyway.
So, at the next show, Eddie hops up on the drum riser and covers Bang Dem Sticks, while flirting with Gareth. It is possible to flirt platonically, and he does it very well.
The next day, Gareth shows him all the chatter. The tiktoks. The commentary. And, well, maybe they could use this to their advantage. Just for a minute.
So, they walk down a dozen different sidewalks, and no paparazzi cameras pop out to snap pictures. Which is normal. He isn't sure why Gareth suddenly thought they'd make TMZ.
But Gareth persists, and they even go to the Ivy, and still nothing.
Even LAX is a fucking bust.
That night, Eddie crawls into bed next to Steve, and sighs.
"What's the matter with you?" Steve asks, tipping down his iPad to look at Eddie.
"Nobody will take my picture with Gareth."
Steve laughs, "What the hell are you talking about?"
So, Eddie tells him their grand plan, and Steve is laughing his fucking ass off before Eddie can even finish.
"Eddie. You have to call the paps if you want to do a pap walk. They aren't mind-readers. They don't just show up. Do you think all those pictures of celebs you see are actually candid? They definitely aren't."
Well, Eddie never looks at pap pictures. He has no fucking clue. He likes to fly under the radar.
"Really?" Eddie eventually asks.
"Really. Do you want me to organize a pap walk for you?" Steve asks, his eyes sparkling with mirth.
"Well. Kinda," he says, "we're Eddeth."
"I know, honey. I've seen all the videos of you flirting with him on stage."
Eddie laughs, "You know that's not real, right?"
"Uh, yeah. I'm not new here," Steve says, "I'll call it in tomorrow. You can be photographed to your heart's content."
And they are. As if it were magic, a handful of photogs are suddenly very aware of where they'll be on various outings. Eddie holds the door for Gareth. Hugs him on the street corner. They get an inordinate amount of coffees that Eddie doesn't even like.
The pictures run, and not a lot of people care, but they are being discussed in some circles.
So, they keep doing it. Dinners and movies and trips through the airport where they're not really going anywhere. Only going through security, as if they were.
That's a brand new kind of torture. Who goes through TSA when they don't actually have to?
More coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Eddie's never bought this many drinks in his life.
And then the bottom falls out.
Someone makes a video that goes extremely viral, explaining everyone in their Corroded Coffin circle.
Including Steve.
In fact, it's almost mourning the breakup of them. Steddie. They're Steddie, apparently, and now the fans, the real fans, those that actually have followed them, are upset. Pointing fingers, assigning blame. Some to Eddie, some to Gareth.
Fuck.
"Uh, we've got a problem," Eddie tells Steve, and Steve just shakes his head, already aware of the situation.
"Do we have to do a pap walk now?" Eddie asks, worrying his hands together.
He never did anything romantic with Gareth. It can all be explained away, swept under the rug.
He thinks.
He hopes.
"I really don't want to," Steve says, and that's that. They won't.
Now, Eddie's either a cheater in the eyes of their actual fans, or they think Steve's gone.
Instead, Gareth does a couple pap walks with his girlfriend, and she's branded a beard, immediately. They really fucked this up, big time.
"We'll go to dinner. The four of us," Steve says, "I'll call it in."
And Eddie kisses his cheek, over and over.
Just to be safe, Steve has their publicist send TMZ a copy of their marriage certificate, and some boilerplate that Eddie and Gareth are just best friends, and always have been.
As they settle into the booth at the restaurant, pictures still being taken, Steve asks, "Are we done trying to be tabloid fodder? Have we learned our lesson?"
"Yes, Steve," Eddie and Gareth both say in unison.
If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇
#corrodedcoffinfest#prompt thirty: fame and fortune#eddie munson#gareth stranger things#steve harrington#corroded coffin fic#ccf day thirty: fame and fortune#thisapplepielife: corrodedcoffinfest#thisapplepielife: short fic#steddie#steddie fic#eddie and gareth are best friends
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Thanks for the tag @patheticfangirl! Procrastination on a Monday? Don't mind if I do. 1. How many works do you have on AO3? 18 — 16 for BG3 and 2 for Arcane (sorry Jayvik one day I'll come back to you 😭) 2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
433,097 (never finished writing a thing in my life before I discovered Astarion, thanks darling).
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Hustle - What I want to write: angsty romantasy. What I actually write: Bloodweave YouTubers. I love these boys. WeaveStitch 4eva <3
Hiraeth - My First Fanfiction, an isekai about a BG3 gamer who finds herself dragged into Faerun. I didn't know how to use AO3 then, I tagged my OC, Astarion, and Gale in a threesome by accident, and Gale and Astarion are super horny for each other throughout because I didn't yet know it was my life's calling to write Bloodweave. But I'm proud of the ending and people still seem to like it.
What Friends Are For - Also known as, Nivasi discovers Bloodweave. This fic has my favorite chapters of anything I've written ever (chapters 11-13).
Driven - Meepbois 😭 I miss them so they're getting a one-year anniversary epilogue this year.
Snakes & Ladders - A silly one-shot enabled by the Bloodweave Brainrot Discord. No tadpole AU in which Astarion is sent by Cazador to steal from Gale.
4. What fandoms do you write for?
BG3 and Arcane. On a knife's edge about Invisible Boys and IWTV.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Always. I'd like to pretend that I 'write for myself' but you know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you(r comments).
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Familiar is probably the angstiest thing I've written ('What if Gale's dad was one of Astarion's victims?'). Otherwise, Hiraeth has a very bittersweet ending.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Literally everything else.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Someone once compared Hiraeth to Twilight, which I consider to be hateful.
9. Do you write smut?
I mean... I try 😅 Not well?
10. Do you write crossovers?
I haven't, but I'm open to it.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't think so?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, but I think it'd be fun. HMU.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Bloodweave. I can't believe I'm still here over a year later. Just love 'em.
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
*cries in Eurovision fic shame* I do actually really want to finish After the End, my Jayvik longfic too, since it's all plotted out. But I realised I can't work on more than one thing at once and Hellfire Club Bloodweave AU is dragging me into the hells at the moment.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I genuinely don't know how to answer this. Uhh, the ability to make absolutely everything a romcom?
Actually, I just came back to this one because I remembered that I can write the shit out of a first chapter. Give me any prompt and that first chapter will be with you in under an hour.
It's just finishing them that's the problem.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Making everything a romcom, if you hate romcoms, I guess. Other than that, oh, so many things: procrastination, repetition, cliches, getting distracted by shiny new ideas, autistic Gale + bbgirl Astarion
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?
I did it in Driven, because Astarion speaks French, and it taught me how not good Google Translate is. I ended up getting help from the lovely French Quarter of BWBR in the end, and would always go straight to this option in the future.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
BG3! This has been my first experience of fandom and my first time writing fics. I like it. You're all onto something here.
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
I think it's got to be Driven. It's not as popular as Hustle, but I received the most surprising amount of love for this story. To the extent that it was actually emotional when it came to an end? Which I really wasn't expecting when I plonked a wizard and a vampire into F1 cars. Thanks meeple <3
* Riddle me this @badmarilynart @hylianworrier
#this is the procrastination#i was talking about#bloodweave#ao3 writer#ao3 fanfic#fanfic writing#my fanfiction#fanfiction#20 questions#writers on tumblr
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I used to be so against the slow burn trope. Not because I thought it was shit; it's just, I usually don't have the patience to wait whatever-amount-superior-to-three damn chapters for my dear ship to finally be able to look at each other without blushing and/or hold hands. Thus why you often times see me reading oneshots or fics with the "Established Relationship" tag on them.
So you can imagine just how surprised—or maybe not, maybe I just didn't think enough about it—I was when I realized my newest fixation's main pairing is—canonically—the embodiment of slow burn. Because holy shit they're taking their time.
Nothing against how Kusuriya develops its love story—quite the opposite, actually. The relationship between Jinshi and Maomao, two characters that are written as beautifully as their romance, is a rather realistic approach as to how the same or a similar dynamic would developed in real life. In such a complicated situation, with such complex feelings about emotions—both external and their own—and attachment, makes sense that it takes so long for the relationship to finally sail.
The problem is, I didn't know I was signing with the Devil the moment I decided to pick up the light novel. Ten volumes and nothing has happened. Nothing.
And you can say that technically things have happened, because they have. I mean, Jinshi is just so desperate for Maomao to give him the time of day, you know what I mean? And even that isn't enough anymore and thus he has committed some of the craziest shit I've seen in any romance. Which okay, I don't usually read these type of romances but still.
What I mean by "nothing" is just, their relationship hasn't changed status. I could also say that it seems to go nowhere, but that'd be lying. Since, you know, it has changed quite a lot—just not in the way my impatient ass wanted it to. Because he can be as honest with his feelings as he pleases, and those around them might be heavely conscious of the tension and thus constantly tease those lovebirds (as they should), but babygirl's not helping, you know?
And I get it, Maomao's not the best at expressing and understanding herself, and she's also way too busy worrying about going as unnoticed as possible (she should give up on that one already, tbh) while keeping her head where it should be. But like, I can't help feeling frustrated over it like ‼‼
GIRL, FUCK THE RULES. TAKE THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A MAN AND RUNAWAY SOMEWHERE NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY YOU. YOU THEN CARRY THAT BITCH BRIDESTYLE TO THE CLOSEST CHURCH AND MAKE HIM YOUR WIFE. PROCEED TO FROG AROUND, EXPERIMENT WITH YOUR UTERUS AS MUCH AS YOU'D LIKE, AND THEN TEACH THE PRODUCTS OF YOUR PRACTICES AS YOUR OWN GUINEA PIG THE WAYS OF HERBAL MEDICINE. AS EASY AS THAT.
But she won't. She'll take her sweet ass time being in denial about both Jinshi's and her own feelings, then maybe she'll proceed to analize herself and find out that maybe, just maybe, that affection that she'd been feeling for that loser became something else. Did said affection also become something more complicated? Absolutely. Does she know how to deal with it? Hell no, but fuck it. If I learned something from school is that you always leave the hardest parts for later.
Now you see why I was so against reading slow burn?
And you wanna know the worst part? I loved it—I loved every second of it, every word, every page. Every scene that seemed to help the relationship advance, only for Maomao to say nope and leave like she owns the place, which at this point she fucking might.
It feels like I, as the reader, am in the middle of a heatwave and some sadistic bastard won't stop teasing me with ice cream—they put it in front of my face, close enough that I can smell the cold. Then take a spoon and eat little by little while staring directly to my eyes. At times they seem to show mercy and feed me a spoon, only for it to be a rather small quantity of serving—serving that tastes so damn good at first, only for it to have such a bitter aftertaste. But if I gotta have something in common with Jinshi is that I'll never be able to beat the masochist allegations, so I'll wait patiently for the next spoon and its corresponding and seemingly enless teasing from that faceless being.
So yeah, I'm still against it, only that now I understand the appeal—even if I have yet to find out about the whereabouts of my sanity while still mananing with the little I've left.
#kusuriya no hitorigoto#the apothecary diaries#jinmao#mai.txt#long post#rant#?#did i just write a rant about a realisticly slow burning romance? yes#please understand i've no one to complain to about them#so i better let go these feelings before i explode and throw my pc out of the window or something#i tried being as spoiler free as possible but please tell me if i should change anything about... whatever this is
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