#but they sure do love to have their main couples roast their babies LOL

[mxtxfanatic]

Book of the Week: To Be a Virtuous Wife

Author: Butterfly's Shadow Beneath the Moon/Yue Xia Die Ying (月下蝶影)

Genre: transmigration, ancient setting, revenge, josei

Rating: M

My Synopsis: Qu Qing Ju lives by one philosophy: here for a good time, not a long time. That means eating well, dressing beautifully, and, due to lack of modern entertainment, outmaneuvering all the tyrants who bullied her original host. It doesn't hurt that this life comes ready-set with a handsome husband in tow. Said husband, He Heng—between scheming against his brothers for the throne—just wants to know if his new wife has always been this interesting.

My Actual Review: In order to understand Qu Qing Ju as a character, you need to understand that despite her being a girls girl, that doesn't mean she'll take shit. So she's all for empowering the women around her—as long as they don't fuck with her bottom line. For the characters who meet that condition, she coexists peacefully with them, and they love her. Fuck with her, though? You'll never have another peaceful day, if you’re so lucky to even have a long life. There's probably more I could say about He Heng, but honestly, the thing that most stuck with me was how much man just really loved his wife and desperately wanted to know she loved him back.

As much as this story involves the main character getting revenge against those who transgressed against the original host, I feel like a good deal of tension in the story comes from He Heng trying to convince Qu Qing Ju that he is not a useless man that'll abandon her the moment something new and shiny comes along. Lots of narrative discussion about the role of women in ancient China, the unreliability of men, and how women need to be able to depend on each other for aid rather than clinging to the power of others in hopes of earning a secure life, which is a common discussion in all of this author's josei novels. Speaking of which: content warnings for the usual with this author, including underage marriage, pregnancy, etc. (if you want to count it, since technically the mc transmigrates in as an adult, but the original host's body is a teen). Other than this, a little bit of suspense and a whole lot of comedy is the mood of this novel!

Translation: complete

[girlgrouptrash101]

Cooking with Loona

Request: "i know requests are closed and i’m reallyyy sorryyyy 🥺 i’ve been going through a lot and i just didn’t have time and didn’t feel right enough to ask this: maybe cooking with loona??"

A/N: to the anonnie that requested this, i hope you're feeling better and ily ❤️❤️

(had to put a keep reading tab cuz the post was too damn long f)

- C

Heejin:

we’ve all seen the cement brownie she tried to give to chuu on her birthday vlive..... yeah....

she always skips like half the steps when she’s following recipes and then gets confused when her food doesn’t turn out the same like,, Heejins sweetie pleASE-

lowkey can’t cook but she thinks she can because you hype her up too much

like she will serve you a dish that will somehow be both burnt and cold at the same time and you still tell her she did amazing because it makes her so happy and that’s all that matters

your guys’ favourite thing to make together is probably cupcakes or cakes

because you get to bake them and Heejin gets to decorate them, and they always end up looking and tasting immaculate

everything in your guys’ relationship works better when you’re together, you two simply complete each other :’)

Hyunjin:

not only does she make the most kickass bread but girlie really is a chef of all cuisines too

you still don’t know how or where she even learned to cook so well but you aren’t complaining at all

whatever you feel like eating, Hyunjin knows how to cook it to absolute perfection and she always offers to teach you how to make your favourite dishes

you two also have matching yellow cat aprons uwu

the kind of girl to either kick you out of her kitchen for distracting her while she’s making a meal or else back hug you and help you stir a bowl with her hand over yours all romantically

it literally just depends what mood she’s in at that very moment

highkey loves loves loves cooking for you and surprising you with dinner after a long day, because her favourite thing to do is put a smile on your face :D

Haseul:

starts off really strong and sticks to the recipe... but then her mind wanders and she's like,,, well,,, what if i add this????

and you're like haseul,,,, please don't put chilli peppers in Kim lips birthday cake, i promise she can do without them,,,,,

she finds cooking in the dorms a bit stressful, doing her best to feed the hungry members after a long day of practice

so cooking with you tends to be a much more therapeutic experience, just you two, a bit of music and some tasty treats

but she of course brings back plenty of wonderful bakes for her members to enjoy too, they're literally her babies she is can't just let them STARVE 😔🙄😢

lowkey pretends she's having trouble stirring so you'll reach from the back and help her with the spoon all romantically

miss haseul you are not slick we SEE YOU

Yeojin:

yes she did in fact bejewel her cookery book

"yeojin... I can't even read the recipes, there's too much glitter!!"

"Well Y/N, sometimes, sacrifices have to be made in the name of beauty."

said sacrifices are usually cupcakes and cakes that don't rise, burnt food or just complete mush that doesn't even look like food

however, when yeojin is fully dedicated she can pack a mean lunch, sometimes she makes them for you when you're going off to school/work, and she always makes sure presentation is A+

prefers to just go out to cafes/restaurants on dates rather than cook

but that doesn't mean there haven't been times where you and her have been in the kitchen at 2am, trying to make a gigantic cake for you and all her members to share 😌

Vivi:

has the most peaceful, lofi cooking playlist ever

you two work in harmony, always helping one another but never tripping over the other in the kitchen

it's so harmonious it's like.... y'all were meant to be or sumn idk 😳😳😳

however if u try to eat any batter she will smack ur hand and be like no ⛔ that is for LATER hfhdhd

her hair always gets tied up in the cutest little bun when she's baking, and that along with her fairy apron makes her look like an actual princess

she also LOVES cooking/teaching you how to make her favourite foods from Hong Kong that she'd always make with her mom

those meals always help her when she's homesick, and with you by her side make her feel like she's not alone 🥺

Kim Lip:

CEO of pretending she has everything under control when in reality she has absolutely no idea what’s going on

“Uhhh Jungeun, is something burning?” “NOPE NOPE IDK WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT HA HA HA........”

wants to put your apron on you every time but she’s always way too shy to ask so she just resorts to back-hugging you until you get the hint and let her tie a cute little bow behind your back with the apron string hehe

makes pretty decent food when she’s not flailing around and panicking over a single grain of rice that escaped from the pot or something

however she refuses to admit when she messes up in the kitchen

like she could burn something to a crisp or use completely the wrong ingredients but she’d still eat every bite just to prove she’s the best cook in the house

if your food sucks she will tell you to your face, followed by a kiss so you forget about the fact she just roasted your cooking skills lol

Jinsoul:

Jinsoul gives off Hawaiian shirt drunk uncle at the family barbecue vibes who won't let anyone near the steaks

and you're like,, Jinsoul do you even know what you're doing????????? to which she responds - "food, heat, it's cooking. isn't that all i need to know?"

chaotic but refuses to acknowledge the chaos she causes in the kitchen

so when you have baking dates u have to keep such a close eye on her to make sure she isn't going to poison anyone with her creations

once she gets into it tho, she's grooving around the kitchen in her little robot apron, dancing to Christmas songs when it's not even Christmas and just 10/10 having a blast

not really the biggest fan of cooking but she knows you are, and since you help her build her gundams she does like to try and help our properly in the kitchen when she can

perhaps Jinsoul best girl???? perhaps??????

Choerry:

hello this sunshine absolutely LOVES baking, especially for others because putting a smile on someone's face is her main goal in life

she loves decorating with icing too, her go to patterns are smiley faces, flowers and the sun!

her playlists are always so upbeat, the two of you end up bouncing around the kitchen singing at the top of your lungs as you work

LOVES LOVES LOOOOOVES backhugs, especially recieving them,,, it makes her feel all worm and mushy inside hehe

also likes to kiss face icing off of your face, just to have an excuse to give you as many little pecks as she so desires

choerry always makes you a birthday cake every year, and she puts so much work into it, it absolutely melts your heart

plus it makes her happy to see you eating well and having a good time, she truly just is the biggest sweetheart :']

Yves:

she always says yes whenever you ask her to cook with you, but only because she just wants to flirt with you for an hour

"why do we need to make all this food, when the real snack is right in front of me? 😏"

cooking with you actually really does make her happy though, she loves that she can be so domestic with you, it's such an amazing break from her hectic life

also lowkey makes her feel like you're a married couple... and you best believe Yves can't wait to wife you up

she doesn't suck at cooking, but has often times gotten,,, ahem,,,, somewhat distracted and has prioritized making out with you against the kitchen counter rather than how long the food has been cooking, which ends up in a lot of burnt meals

baking with her is really a time, and has more than once ended in a very messy food fight because Yves wouldn't stop smearing icing all over your face 💔

her specialty is dialing the local takeaway and ordering food instead ✨ okay Yves Ramsey go off ✨

Chuu:

this baby girl is just torn between actually wanting to cook or just asking you to cook with her so she can get affection from you (as if she doesn't get that anyway smh)

backhugs except she won't let go

whenever she's making something she calls you over and she's like "Y/N is this okay?" and always asks for kisses as a reward for doing good

will feed you every single ingredient no questions asked

she loves surprising you with meals on very random occasions though, for example that one time she cooked your favourite food because it was the anniversary of the first time she got sick while dating you

she's actually a pretty good cook when she puts her mind to it though, she loves making good food that'll cheer people up when they really need it

btw you will be forced to wear matching aprons and they will be the pinkest, loudest and sparkliest ones that she can get her hands on ✨

Go Won:

have the fire service on speed dial before you even think about cooking with gowon omg

you literally also need to have indestructible tastebuds because she WILL destroy them

her speciality is starting fires and combining foods that were NEVER. EVER. E V E R. meant to be combined 😭😭

"babe come try this dish!! it's ramen mixed with coca cola, jelly and vegetable soup!!! it tastes GREAT trust me"

at the end of the day you just leave her be in the kitchen because at least she's having fun LMAO

(just always have a fire hydrant by your side okay??? she set the loona dorm on fire making chicken nuggets once...)

despite all her chaos, she somehow always produces something edible at the end and.... sometimes it actually tastes good too???

Olivia Hye:

lets you do all the work cuz she's worried she "might mess it up" when in reality she just wants to order takeout and cuddle instead smhhh

will probably follow you around the kitchen or rest her head on your shoulder while you do all the cooking, because this tsundere is secretly the biggest softie for you

she's actually a decent chef when she's motivated to help though

like she even put together a cooking playlist for you guys - which she very shyly revealed to you one time, a slight blush on her cheeks as she played the songs for you

cuz miss olhye is very much a romantic, she just doesn't have the confidence to show you all that yet hehe

her favourite is making desserts because well,,,, she gets to eat the batter and also gets tasty treats at the end

10/10 cooking backhugs also 🖐️😌

[purplesurveys]

1090

survey by --ranboweyes--

1.] What age is your youngest aunt? I have a relative who’s technically my aunt since she’s a cousin of my mom, but she’s like 3 years younger which makes her 18-19ish, I think. 

2.] Do you miss someone right now? The only thing I’m missing is the weekend which is quickly ending lol.

3.] What can you see to the Northwest to you? I can see our living room couch.

4.] Do you like bowling? I love bowling. I wish I could do it all the time, only if a session wasn’t so expensive.

5.] Can you pronounce Italian words? I mean I can try saying the words but I know I’m definitely not pronouncing them in the native accent. @justsurveys​ definitely can though, heh.

6.] Do you prefer black or beige colored jackets? I have more black ones, but I’m not opposed to trying out beige.

7.] Do you own a hoodie? Yes, I’m wearing one right now because it’s pretty chilly tonight.

8.] Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? I’ve only done this once, which was in like Grade 3 when we had an overnight thingy in school and our teacher planned a bonfire for us. But I’m not a fan of marshmallows at all so the answer to this is no.

9.] Do you like cheesy puffs? No. I prefer other snacks.

10.] What's your name without vowels? Rbyn or Rbn, if we’re counting out the letter y.

11.] How many layers of clothing are you wearing? Just two, which is always the case if I do have to wear more than one layer; I have a shirt under my zipped-up hoodie. I’ve only ever had to wear multiple layers once; it was when we were in Sagada and I had to wear 4 or 5 layers if I didn’t want to shiver to death.

12.] When was the last time you got a takeaway? What did you have? I usually dine in the restaurant altogether or go to the drive-thru, but never takeout. Today, though, I did order a chicken barbecue at Starbucks originally meant to be for dine-in; but I got sad in the middle of my time there so I only had a few bites and brought the rest home. Which I guess technically counts as takeout.

13.] If you could climb any mountain or range which would you chose? Mount Pulag because I’ve heard so much about it and it’d be nice to experience it for myself.

14.] Do you alphabetically arrange anything in your room? What? Nope.

15.] Have you ever visited fat-pie.com? No.

16.] Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet.

17.] Do you like Flo Rida? Which song of his? I mean, not really. There are a few songs he’s featured in that I find catchy, like Right Round, but I don’t like like them.

18.] How's your dancing skills? There aren’t any to speak of. 

19.] What is your favorite number? I don’t have any. The idea of favorite numbers personally never made sense to me, but I do recognize that they can mean a lot to some people.

20.] Describe your best friend to me? She’s incredibly smart and creative, very motherly and responsible, and always knows the right questions to ask when her friends are troubled and what advice to give.

21.] What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Peach soju, Long Island Iced Tea, Zombie, and tequila are some of my favorites. I’m generally a fan of cocktails though, and I love it whenever bars have their own lineup because it lets me see how creative they get and because it also allows me to try their own spin on mixed drinks.

22.] Do you do any sports or have you done any sport professionally? I play table tennis, but I never played professionally or had formal training. It was a club I joined in middle school just because Angela dragged me but I ended up enjoying it, so I played and played until I unconsciously got better.

23.] What is your ringtone? Just the default Apple ringtones; I never changed them.

24.] Do you like chili flavored chips/crisps? Sure! Chili peanuts are great, too.

25.] Do you curl or straighten your hair? I don’t do either with my hair unless I’m headed to a special/fancy occasion.

26.] What's the nicest smell of shampoo? We used to have this brand that housed black shampoo and it smelled super elegant and nice, but I have no idea how to describe the scent.

27.] What smell turns you on? How about turns you off? It’s generally a turn-on when people make an effort to smell nice, e.g. applying perfume several times a day. BO and the smell of the sun are my main turn-offs.

28.] Whose your favorite comedian? I’ve only been able to watch a couple of her skits but Sindhu Vee is pretty high up on my list. I’m not really too big on comedians, though.

29.] RnB or Reggae? R&B, by a mile.

30.] What brand of batteries do you usually get? I/We haven’t had to use batteries in such a long time.

31.] Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A good number of people from my high school now have kids, but I don’t consider any of them friends.

32.] What is in your medicine cabinet? We don’t have one since no one in the family needs to regularly take meds. We do have a jar in the kitchen for multivitamins that my parents take every night.

33.] What's your favorite aspect of the natural world? The ocean. < I’d say so too. Mountain ranges are also beautiful.

34.] What's your favorite man made thing? Probs the internet.

35.] Can you whistle properly? Yasss.

36.] What song do you think is the most widely heard in the world? Happy Birthday or some Christmas jingle.

37.] Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I mean...I think fast food restaurants are ubiquitous by nature, so I’ve never seen one and went, “That’s not supposed to be there,” lol. Whenever I spot a fast food restaurant, I’m usually able to make out the reasoning behind positioning it wherever it happens to be.

38.] What countries surround your country? Or are you not land locked? We’re an archipelago, so. Not land-locked. But the nearest countries are Malaysia, Vietnam, Taiwan, and Indonesia.

39.] Do you own binoculars or nonoculars? What do you use them for? I don’t own either.

40.] Do you ever wish you had a telescope on the roof or attic to stargaze? I have always wanted one, yeah. I’ve always dreamed of placing it in my future living room, though.

41.] What's your favorite chocolate bar? Not a bar, but I like Reese’s peanut butter cups the most.

42.] Do you fall asleep easy in cars? How about planes, trains and boats? Unless I am extremely tired, it’s usually hard for me to fall asleep while in transport.

43.] Would you rather live a year of your life in every major country or stay in the same place you live forever without vacations? The latter sounds like an unfulfilling life to me, to be honest. Like I can’t even take vacations??? As much as I like routine, I do enjoy a bit of spontaneity and I think moving to a new country every year can do that for me.

44.] What will you not tolerate in a person? Someone who will make you feel stupid for asking a question. Also those who always have something mean to say about everyone.

45.] Do you forgive others easier or yourself? Why is this? Forgiving isn’t really in my vocabulary to be honest. Hahaha. I’ve always been more at peace this way.

46.] How was God made, if he exists? Key word here is if, so I’m skipping this question because it’s irrelevant to me.

47.] Have you ever done aqua aerobics or polo? Yeah we had to do a bit of water polo in swimming classes in high school.

48.] What age were you when you learned how to swim? I guess around 2? I have baby photos from when I was that age wherein I was having fun in our old inflatable pool. Swimming came naturally to me and I don’t think I ever had trouble with the water.

49.] What shows or characters scared you as a child? You know how older cartoons only featured the legs of some characters, like the housemaid in Tom & Jerry or the lady from Powerpuff Girls? The uncertainty of those characters always made me feel unsettled as a kid.

50.] Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I always go to bed well after 12 AM since my family usually holds a get-together for it.

51.] What's currently in your fridge? Some leftovers, some vegetables, essentials like bread and eggs, some condiments that need to be kept refrigerated.

52.] How about your freezer? Frozen goods like hotdogs and ham.

53.] What could you be doing now that is more productive? I should be working out but I’m skipping it for tonight because I hate Sundays, and I don’t want to make myself more tired than I already am.

54.] Give me some lyrics from the song that's stuck in your head? “Red lights, stop signs, I still see your face in the white cars, front yards...”

55.] What's your favorite type of firework? The grander the design the better for me, tbh.

[avmisworld]

NCT Dream as your best friends:

Renjun:

He's like your very annoying brother

Acts like you're his little sister even if you're older than him

Teases you all the time about your non existent bf/gf, about your height... Anything he can really.

Teaches you curse words in Chinese so you can trashtalk the members (excluding Chenle)

Ruffles your hair all the time, mostly to annoy you.

(but also because he secretly thinks you're cute whenever you scowl at him)

Pretends he doesn't enjoy your company but sulks whenever you can't meet up

Sends you memey pictures of himself and of the members

Both of you have so much private jokes and codes

You can have full conversations without anyone understanding a thing

You guys bicker a lot

But even when you fight you make up almost immediately

Usually Renjun just texts you randomly as if nothing happened

Gets very jealous if you give someone more attention than you give him

Hates when you babie him

Acts like a tough guy around you but is actually just a marshmallow in disguise.

Jeno:

The sweetest relationship uwu

Everyone thinks you guys are a couple because of your great chemistry

Jeno will literally place his life in your hands without hesitation

You guys can talk for hours on end about the stupidest stuff

But you can also have really deep conversations sometimes

His gallery is full of pictures he took of you in every situation possible

Sleeping, eating, laughing etc...

Takes your opinion very seriously, so he constantly invites you to Dream's dance practices

You two go shopping together

Jeno always ends up carrying your bags

Despite promising that this time he won't

You guys usually go out to eat when you're together

Always complains that he gains weight everytime you're together

Your parents know Jeno and he's practically like a son to them

Same goes to you

He texts you every day

Even if he doesn't have anything to say he'll still text you

Always thinking about you, especially when you aren't together

Buys you souvenirs when he's in another country

You two don't fight at all

But sometimes you bicker like an old married couple

Usually about how Jeno should sleep more or how you should stop dieting

You're the only one who laughs from his corny ass jokes

One of the main reasons he loves you so much lol

You guys cuddle a lot

AKA you clinging to Jeno while he suffers with a smile on his face

Link arms while walking cause you cheesy AF

It still surprises you what a beast he is on stage

But to you he'll always be a giant puppy:')

Haechan:

The most dangerous friendship tbh

You've known each other since you were kids

You probably thought Haechan was annoying AF when you first met him (don't tell him that tho)

Pranking NCT members the majority of the time

And if you aren't, then you're probably pranking each other

Roasting each other 24/7

People probably think you hate each other but it's just your dynamic

TONS of SKIN SHIP

Haechan is always ruffling your hair, pulling on your ear, pinching your cheek...

Your time together mostly consists of pissing each other off and cuddling while watching K-dramas

Cooks for you all the time

There's a fairly good chance he'll come over at two in the morning and start making you kimchi jiggae or something

Lots of sleepovers at your place when he's done with the 127 hyungs

Misses you so much when he's working

Also denies that fact religiously

But the members tell you how much he whines to them about needing to see you

Facetimes you at the most random times and feels betrayed when you don't answer

Your text messages consist of memes, ugly picture and emojis that only you understand the meaning of

Probably has some really cheesy nickname on his phone for you

Definitely changes his contact name on your phone to "the light of my life" or something gross like that

Your fights are just lots of yelling and silent treatments

Usually they start because of an insensitive comment that one of you said

But that hardly happens because you're so used to each other's bratty asses by now

Jaemin:

Jaemin is practically your mother and your personal bodyguard

Very overprotective

He's always making sure you ate, slept on time, got your work done...

Calls you every two minutes when he's away

Saved your name in his phone as 공주님 (princess)

You saved his as 엄마 (mother)

Your parents love him because of his charming personality and probably secretly want you two to date

Buys you clothes when he's away and surprises you with them when he comes back

You always have one of his sweaters at your house because he always lends them to you when he thinks it's cold and forgets to take it back

Very affectionate with you

Kisses your cheeks and your forehead in the most random moments

Tackles you out of the blue when he wants hugs

You go out together a lot

Sometimes you go to the movies, sometimes you do a picnic, sometimes you just sleepover and eat takeout and gossip

You take lots of aesthetic pictures of each other

Have so much selfies together

One of them is probably Jaemin's lock screen or something

You feel very comfortable with each other

He knows everything about you and the other way around

Listens to whatever you say without judging, even if it's a rant about some guy you're crushing on

Will be up for whooping anyone's ass if they hurt you

Facetimes you when he's away

Sometimes you don't even talk, just minding your own business together

Both of you probably fall asleep in the middle

Flirts with you all the time

But uses only horrible pick up lines

"Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you"

Chenle:

So loud OMG

There's not a dull moment when you're together

You guys are like twins or something

You have some sort of telepathy that no one can understand

Laughing randomly without any obvious reason is practically your thing

You guys thrive off teasing each other and others

Gang up to drive the hyungs up the wall

You call each other soulmates everywhere you go

The type of bff's who finish each other's sentences

He buys you super expensive presents all the time

The type to see a diamond necklace and be like "oh Y/N might like this" and buy it

You talk mostly on Snapchat when you're apart

Chenle sends you snaps of everything he does

Literally everything

You have many cute pictures together

Also lots of weird ones

You've been to his house so much times you already have a room there

Pretty clingy

Always backhugging you or side hugging you

Likes to pull your hair to annoy you

Talks about you so much

The members probably know all about your adventures together

Teaches you Chinese and is surprisingly supportive and patient with you

Loves to explain about his culture to you and thinks it's cute you're so interested

You just make him happy tbh

Jisung:

You're the only person he trusts

The loyal BFF

Always says he doesn't need anyone when he has you

Appreciates your friendship so much uwu

You basically grew up together

Invites you to every one of his comebacks and gets super sad if you can't make it

You're his biggest supporter

Takes everything you say VERY seriously

Sends you every picture he wants to upload to Instagram to hear your opinion about it

Doesn't like when you get too close with the other members

Tries not to make it obvious but he's pouty and gives you the cold shoulder so it shows

Says he'll forgive you only if you buy him ice cream (a baby)

You're always taking his clothes to the point you have a small closet in your room just for them

Gets embarrassed whenever you hug him or squeeze his cheeks but he secretly loves it

Probably freaks out if you ever date someone because he's so afraid he'll be replaced

Texts you every few days when he's away to make you sure you didn't forget him

You go together to amusement parks or escape rooms or other stuff like that

Just anything extreme

Tries to prove he's a man by winning you plushies at the amusement park

Still doesn't change the fact that he's a really tall baby

He pretends to get embarrassed by your stupid shit but he honestly can't live without you

Is a bit awkward when it comes to deep conversations

So if you're sad or unwell he'll probably just take out his phone and watch fail complications on YouTube with you until you laugh

Doesn't talk to you much about his own feelings

So sometimes you feel insecure about your relationship, which is the main reason for fights between you two

But in the end of the day you know all the important stuff one way or another

Will cancel any plan he has to spend more time with you<3

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

11 best autofill texting games for when you're so bored you could cry

Predictive text is at best a time saver, and at worst a life destroyer. 

Most phones now have some function that predicts phrases or words while texting. Apple, for example, uses predictive text "based on your past conversations, writing style, and even websites you visit in Safari." The idea is to make it easier and quicker to send messages, but the algorithm is often finicky or downright embarrassing. 

SEE ALSO: Ken Jeong has some hilariously questionable answers to Twitter's medical questions

However, some clever people have created prompts to turn this tool into a fun game that often says a little too much about your texting habits. 

Play this texting game with your friends, but just be aware what it may reveal about your phone habits.

1. "I drink"

The term "drinking problem" doesn't begin to cover some of the things predictive text told them they were consuming. 

"I drink" then hit the middle predictive text: I drink a lot and I have to poop till the end and I have a dollar on the battle of my heart for the rest and my life will never stop the game.

— CinnamonToastKen (@cinnamontoastk) July 4, 2018

I drink cactus and I will be there at the same time as the other one

— Toromaniac (@BerryToro) July 4, 2018

I drink my water bottle of vodka in the car so I’m glad I did it but I wanna do you..... oh god

— Hayley (@HayleyTries) July 4, 2018

2. Horoscope mayhem

Hank Green prompted his followers to let predictive text be their zodiac guide. The results were as disastrous as you could imagine. 

PREDICTIVE TEXT HOROSCOPE: (Your Sign), this month is a great time to (predictive text), but watch out for people who (predictive text.)

— Hank Green ⌨️📗2️⃣👍 (@hankgreen) March 20, 2018

Libra, this month is a great time to go to the store, but watch out for people who ate a bit of the investors.

— M(illenial)inda (@melinda_staup) March 20, 2018

Aries, this month is a great time to go get back with ya dude, but watch out for people who love ya dude.

— Emma Singer (@emmaunaltered) March 20, 2018

3. "I'm marrying an"

This prompt led to more than a few marriages to inanimate objects.

Type "i'm marrying an" and let your keyboard reveal it i'm marrying an idiot

— 🧞‍♂️🧞‍♂️ (@YassMaryam) January 15, 2019

I'm marrying an avocado.

— ◟̽◞̽ Larry enthusiast 💚💙 (@1Dupdate28) January 19, 2019

I’m marrying an alien instead of a zombie warrior with a great way to get my hair done.

— Tomb Svalborg (@tombness) January 21, 2019

4. You zodiac sign plus "and that's why"

A lot of these tweets were strangely on brand for the different signs.

Stealing this from Russian twitter: Type “I am a *your zodiac sign* and that’s why...” and let your autofill finish it. I am a cancer and that’s why I am so sorry I didn’t know what to do

— CAKE MOM 🔪 (@motherofcakes) March 1, 2019

i am a pisces and that’s why i am baby

— mei (@swtchbIde) March 2, 2019

I am a Scorpio and that’s why y’all are still in the hospital... 👀

— Christina Parker (@c_parkr) March 1, 2019

5. "Sex is"

Several people ended up being told that sex is "a great place to work" by their phones. 

type “sex is” and let ur keyboard finish your sentence mine: sex is your favorite place in your mind

— ‎ ‎ً (@grandegoalsx) February 25, 2019

Sex is a good place to work for a week and a half a week ago and we have a problem with the heating and heating and heating and heating and heating and heating and heating and heating 😂😂😂😂 wtf

— Adrian (@InCarldibleHulk) February 25, 2019

sex is not allowed in a taxi

— 𝐦𝐢𝐚 💍 fb or i unf (@notearstocryy) February 25, 2019

6. Epitaphs

This thread is the perfect blend of morbid and hilarious for the dark humorist in your life. 

How about we use predictive text to write our own epitaphs? Write “Here lies [YOUR NAME]. [preferred pronoun] was...” and let your phone finish the rest. Mine is: Here lies Alexander Zalben. He was clearly not wrong.

— Alex Zalben (@azalben) January 1, 2018

Here lies Stephani Adair. She was going to call you after work today and will not be able to.

— Stephani (@stephani06) January 1, 2018

Here lies Josh Mankiewicz. He washed the whole house.

— Josh Mankiewicz (@JoshMankiewicz) January 1, 2018

7. Introduce yourself

Some were spot on, and some couldn't have been more wrong.

my name is Eve I was born in the UK my age is a bit more than I expected I like to see whales (im crying wow) pic.twitter.com/vQpMz4mebA

— 🕊️ (@soulpunkps) February 14, 2019

My name is not available for remote playback I was born in New York city My age is just a few days ago and I will be in the future I like to know if you have any questions

— Marshal Ustinov (@marshalustinov) February 14, 2019

My name is Jocelyn I was born to be the best My age is literally just too many hours I like to see what you gotta do about it

— Castrator Ginsberg (@Jostle_in) February 16, 2019

8. Predictive valentines

Turns out artificial intelligence isn't as romantic as we thought... shocker.

Time for predictive valentines! Type "Roses are red" and let predictive text finish your poem. (It's free verse.) Mine is: "Roses are red and white and yellow in the essay that I am referring to as the main source for this." Extremely romantic!

— Wren Wallis (@invisibleinkie) February 10, 2019

Roses are red wine beer and cheese fries for lunch.

— Travis Vigneau (@Daily_Fails) February 12, 2019

Roses are red and white in the middle of the recent change in Federal law regarding Marijuana Hmm ok

— Gwenagain (@gwenthing) February 11, 2019

9. "Hey look ma I made"

We're sure many mothers were less than impressed by these responses. 

type “hey look ma i made” then let predictive text determine the rest hey look ma i made you happy and proud to have a wonderful life

— 💀mama rae💀 115 (@anathema_hxlsey) February 4, 2019

Hey look ma I made it home early so I’m just sitting in the middle of the floor.

— Giana🌱 (@melsrockcandy) February 4, 2019

hey look ma i made my afternoon look like a beautiful man wtfff???

— lily (@BoveeLily) February 4, 2019

10. 2019 goals

If these are any prediction of how 2019 will go then no one is safe. 

How about we predictive text our 2019 goals? Just type “In 2019 I am going to” and then mash that center button. Here’s mine: “In 2019 I am going to the store.” Seems legit.

— Alex Zalben (@azalben) January 1, 2019

In 2019 I am going to go back to the house to get my money and then I will be back. Um ok....

— Mirna Valerio (@TheMirnavator) January 3, 2019

In 2019 I’m going tomorrow to get to the hotel room for a few days and I will have a schedule and then I just got to go go (this is my life lol)

— Barclay Stockett (@BarclayStockett) January 3, 2019

11. "You should follow me on Twitter because"

Most of these are not good reasons.

Type "you should follow me on Twitter because" and use predictive text to finish the sentence

— 🌻Elle 🐈 Gato🌻 (@ellle_em) January 6, 2019

You should follow me on Twitter because you have a good idea of how long it takes to get a couple of things from the science store. 😂

— Anita Pearson (@pommyanita) January 7, 2019

You should follow me on Twitter because you are unable to find the receipt and I will send you a cheat list for your kindness. 😅👍

— Bubbly Zen💕 (@BubblyZen1) January 7, 2019

Happy texting!

WATCH: Ariana Grande's tattoo flub continues to get roasted in hilarious internet meme — All the Memes

[nowonderyouhavedemons]

All evens!

WOW I’m getting to this so fucking late I’m sorry I forgot to do this my entire day off so now I’m doing this at like midnight and I’ll post it tomorrow afternoon or something during my break

also thank you Allie once again for letting me ramble about my dumb self~

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Maybe a 3 or so? I think it depends on if I’m familiar with the environment I’m in or not, and if the darkness is something planned. I don’t mind walking around my home in the dark in the middle of the night, but I’d be less okay with the dark if it was due to a blackout at home.

Probably shoots up to 4 or 5 when I’m in unfamiliar places. This includes haunted houses in amusement parks. I’m a huge baby I just try to hide it

4. What is your favorite word?

God, there’s so many good ones. I really like the word “dawn”. “Smorgasboard” is good too. Also “succinct” and “bracket.” Those words just feel fun to say for me!

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“god why does my facial hair grow back so fast?”

it doesn’t really, but I like being clean shaven and I swear it grows to the point of being noticeable within 3 - 4 days and it’s really annoying.

8. What do you label yourself as?

A bunch of stuff, really! Male, straight, raver, diabetic, dropout, all that sort of stuff. Depends on the context we’re talking about too because this question feels super broad.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

I think I was in bed getting comfy to go to sleep. I got called into work that day and I was exhausted when I got home. Basically ate some food and watching a single youtube video and went to sleep.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Think it was my friend/coworker actually. Pretty sure she was playfully jabbing at me and roasting me. I agreed with her (because I either completely agree unless I have something wittier to reply with) and I think she was all “Ahhh, you know I love you.”

Having a good relationship with your coworkers is nice~

14. What is your current desktop picture?

Right now, it’s the Dishonored 2 main screen! I actually use Wallpaper Engine from Steam which lets you use videos and animated loops as desktop wallpapers, so I have about 50+ on rotation right now that get switched out every hour.

16. The last song you listened to?

CA$H by Barely Alive!

MAKE THE SPEAKERS *VIIIIIBbBRrAaAaAaTtEe*

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

The guy who was with his girlfriend as one of my customers yesterday when I got called in.

Listen asshole, the first thing I told you when you came up other than my “hi” was that we were out of slushies. We couldn’t make slushies. We refilled all the mix. What do you do? Ask me “what about the blue raspberry?”

“No sir, I apologize, but we’re out of slushies.”

“What about the lemonade?”

“Sir, like I just said, we’re out of slushie mix.”

“So you’re completely out of slushies?”

“Yes sir, that’s what I just said.”

and then when I gave you your change, you YANKED the bill out of my hand.

Like listen you fucking ignorant shit, you can’t be mad at me after I tried being polite multiple times and warned you multiple times and then get frustrated with you because you kept asking inane stupid fucking questions holding up my line of 20 OTHER CUSTOMERS

I hope that guy tripped later on that day and ate shit. God that pissed me off.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

Shit. I honestly hate my body in general. I guess my eyes can be pretty nice sometimes, but the light has to be hitting me in the right way. My eys are dark brown so you can’t really see a whole lot. I’ve always wished I had a different eye colour.

That, and I’m pretty tall for a Filipino dude, I think. Taller ones are growing up in Toronto now, but a lot that I see still are like 5′6″ or shorter. Being 5′8″ ain’t too bad.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Not????? really???? I think? Like really anything that I could be remotely good at is already something I share publicly (which would be making music really but I haven’t even been doing that.)

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Honestly, it’d just be the cold cut combo sandwich setup from Subway I always get except also with ham and a shit ton of bacon added, really. I get it cheese and toasted with Italians Herbs and Cheese, lettuce, tomato, red onions, cucumbers, mayo, and chipotle sauce.

I’m a simple man. The greatest sandwiches I ever have are from Subway because I never have sandwiches otherwise.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

fucking nowhere I have work dude and I get no shifts during tourist off-season I’m working as much as I can while I can

for the sake of funsies, and I know it’d sound boring, but I’d either pick California/Los Angeles or Florida. I’m not in a rush to go overseas because I feel that’d require a lot more planning and possibly learning phrases in a new language. I have family in California and friends in Florida so I wouldn’t have to worry about being alone, the Canadian dollar is weak as shit compared to the USD so I could buy things on the cheap there, and it wouldn’t be as huge of a culture shock while still being new to me (because I barely explored California with my family the one time I went because we did VERY tourist-y things.)

Also portions. I fucking inhale food, dude. Give me those US portions for meals CHEAPER than here in Canada, holy god.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

like comment subscribe

No littering. Fuck y’all, if I’m creating my own society, I’m not letting SAVAGES in that don’t know how to clean up after themselves and throw things out properly. We’re keeping it clean here.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

It’s gotta be my laptop just because it’s the most expensive thing I own that I deeply care about. I could eventually afford another PS4, I don’t need a glamorous TV or anything, and I only upgraded to the iPhone 6 because my mom got a deal on it for $100. I could use that as an excuse to switch to Android.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

To avoid a cop-out and using California as an answer AGAIN, I think I’d really like a place in the Philippines. Not deep inner city though. Like, further away in the quieter cramped backalley houses like the one one of my aunts has there. I don’t want to be completely out in the country either.

I’d want to be able to get into the inner city relatively easily, and I want to really feel in tune with the background country more!

34. What was your last dream about?

Oh god, what was the last dream I even remember? I get so bad at remembering them now. OH NOW I REMEMBER PART OF ONE. I forgot most of it but I know at some point I ended up in the back of a large sorta hippie van? Like the back seats were removed and the back was all lined up tons of nice rugs and blankets and decorations. There were a few of my college classmates lying there with me and I was cuddling with one of them. That was a nice part of the dream I remember.

I don’t have dramatic or weird dreams. A lot of my dreams are just stuff like this. I’m really fucking romantically lonely I want physical intimacy ugggggggggggggggggh

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Oh yeah, at least three times. I already have to visit a hospital fairly frequently for my diabetes. First time was when I was just diagnosed with T1 Diabetes, and the second and third times were when I was in danger of DKA because I wasn’t taking my insulin. Second time was worse than the third. My nurses weren’t happy both times though.

38. What is the color of your socks?

I’m not wearing socks right now! I don’t wear socks at home unless I find it cold.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets, since I’m not a morning person. Both are pretty though!

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

Is this that newfangled Sportsball I always hear about? I’m not hip with the times yo, sorry.

No seriously I really don’t care about sports and the only ones I MIGHT care a tiny bit about are my local ones like the Blue Jays and Raptors, and that’s just out of a sense of Canadian/Torontonian pride more than anything.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

lol whoops I dropped out

dream goal is still to be a music producer and DJ. If that doesn’t end up panning out, I’d still like to go into something involving music or audio engineering. Sound mixing for TV/movies maybe? Doing front-of-house mixing for concerts and raves would be cool too.

46. Are you reliable?

I like to think so, but I know I slip up a lot sometimes.

48. Do you hold grudges?

To be honest, yeah, I still do. I can be pretty fucking bitter about things from my past.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Not the MOST, but this just happened a couple weeks ago (and it wasn’t really a conversation but whatever)

A woman came up to me while I was on cash wanting to buy something. She was holding a Canadian $20 in her hand. She approaches me, looks at her bill confused, looks up at me again, and asks “Do you guys accept cash?”

Like???????????? nothing has ever taken me that far aback before????? like I don’t????? what??? the fuck like miss??????? miss we are an establishment that provides goods for currency??????????????? damn I HOPE we accept cash at this physical shop because we’d probably come across some issues with our customers

This happened weeks ago and I still bring it up to people. It still bewilders the fuck out of me. What would possess people to think a physical store would not accept cash? What has troubled you in the past that would lead you to think that this cashier and this till you walked up to would ONLY accept debit/credit cards? Holy fuck.

52. How long could you go without talking?

To another person physically? A good while, I think. Probably a week, two weeks tops. I’ve stayed inside my apartment for a week straight before and I swear I barely talked to my mom too.

If talking to myself counts, than maybe a couple hours. Maybe. I talk and make comments to/by myself a lot.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

God no. I’d probably be trash at baking stuff. I’m surprised I can manage some stuff on the stovetop.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter/margarine for the most part. I’m a simple person. I could say peanut butter and jelly too, but it’s actually been over a year or so since I’ve had a PB&J.

58. What would be you dream car?

One that worked, was fairly stable, and had a damn good audio system.

I’m not really a car person, I really wouldn’t give too much of a shit what the car was. Maybe not a pick-up truck or a mini-van though, and that’s really it.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

Not in the stereotypical image of “aliens”, but I definitely believe that the universe is too fucking huge and operates on too massive a scale for there to not be any type of intelligent life somewhere else at SOME place.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Either A or M. A’s probably my favourite vowel, and for some reason “LMNOP” is my favourite part of the classic Alphabet song, and M is the letter I like the best out of that section.

64. What do you think about babies?

Babies can be super cute and adorable sometimes! Other times though? Devil spawn. They can be double-edged swords sometimes.

[consciousfatz-blog]

Hello my fellow foodies and curious readers alike!!

This starts my official first full week of Keto eating, so my posts will be a little different for a while…..maybe permanent, who knows. I’m toying with the idea of just doing weekly reviews for all things Keto related. Of course, if I do try a new product (or come up with a new recipe) in the midst of the week, then those reviews could be shared at any given moment.

Anyhow, let’s get into it, shall we?

Monday

Breakfast

I’m quickly beginning to see that eggs are going to be a staple of this way of eating. Nonetheless, we figured out a way to make them a little jazzy this afternoon (morning, whatever it was 11am).

We chose to make scrambled eggs (3 apiece to be exact), mainly because neither one of us are that talented to make a perfect omelette (you gotta know your limits). Both of ours were pretty much identical with, diced ham, shredded cheese, onion, fresh spinach, bell peppers all in the mix. I topped mine with taco sauce, whereas wifey opted for diced tomatoes. We both had bacon on the side…don’t worry I will review that item, as I’ve never had it before.

It was pretty filling, I don’t think I got hungry again until around 1:30. I chose to go with my favorite veggies (broccoli and bell peppers) to curb my hunger for a while. I really should come up with a catchy name for those, because I’m pretty sure they are going to come up frequently in my posts….

Dinner

Pinterest provided us with an idea for de-constructed Philly cheesesteaks — in short stuffed bell peppers. Now, I’ve never experienced a stuffed bell pepper a day in my life (hard to believe right?), but I felt that this was a good a time as any to try it.

The dish really didn’t take that long to create. I would say about 45 minutes from prep to table. The original recipe called for roast beef — we went for the good stuff, Steak-umms. We kept it pretty traditional…meat, mozzarella cheese, mushrooms and onions.

        Sauteing Onions, Garlic and Mushrooms

Browning the meat in the mixture

Finished product

Of course we paired it with a fresh salad of romaine lettuce, diced onion, roma tomatoes, feta cheese, bacon bits, and ranch dressing.

The meal wasn’t bad overall. We were full as ticks on the backside of a razorback. However, I felt that we had some opportunities to knock the bell pepper out the park. The main thing is that it turned out kind of watery, so that definitely will need a remedy before we attempt it again (which we will).

Tuesday

Breakfast

Being that I had to be at work at 7am, I was kind of stuck in a dilemma of how to handle my eating situation. MEAL PREP IS GOING TO BE HUGE!! Nonetheless, I was able to find a quick way to have my brunch. I packed two eggs, some leftover Philly meat mix from last night’s meal, and shredded cheese. Luckily we have this contraption called a microwave at work, so I had microwaved Philly scrambled eggs. Righteously, it took about 90 seconds to cook it that way (of course stirring midways through the cooking process).Now, I’m not going to pretend, I know it looks a tad bit….sketchy (afterall, I am at work), but I promise you for something thrown together last minute it was pretty good. It held me for a few hours until I transitioned into my next shift around 2:30.

In between time I decided to snack on Fatboy’s Dynamic Duo (told you I’d find a name for my favorite veggies) that I also packed with me earlier that morning.

Dinner

Let me tell you, if it wasn’t for my wife, I would have been looking real ugly around 6pm. My baby found this delicious recipe off of ibreatheimhungry.com for Stuffed Chicken, and brought it to work so I wouldn’t perish, lol. 

People!! This was the tastiest, closest to normal, almost questionable as to can we really have this dish that we’ve eaten thus far!!!

Sorry, for the Rubbermaid™, once again, I was at work…..it is what it is. Loved this meal, and it has been added to our meal list!!

Wednesday

Breakfast

Today was a lot like Monday, so I’m not going to upload a picture. The only change that was made eating smoked sausage instead of bacon, which I found was a little more satisfying this time.

Dinner

Tonight’s meal of choice was just a simple salad, with Cajun pan-seared chicken. Doesn’t sound like much, but sometimes it’s the simple things that taste soooo good.

I actually had a lot more chicken than what’s in the picture ( I just wanted to eat some by its self).

Sorry guys…not the most exciting day.

Thursday

Alright! The time has come  — weigh-in day! Now technically, I started on last Thursday (in my mind) but I blew it….mostly because of those ____ Siete Chips. I didn’t weigh myself until Sunday, so I have no idea what I weighed prior to that unfortunately. Anyhow, my weight on Sunday was 284.7, today I came in at………….280.2! So far, so good!

Breakfast

I was in a bit of a hurry this morning, so I just had a couple of scrambled cheese eggs with smoked sausage sliced in. Nothing fancy, but filled a void in my stomach.

Lunch

The team leader meeting provided a near perfect opportunity to eat without really being interrupted, apparently everyone else in there felt the same way. Meal of choice — Ceasar Salad with some of the leftover pan-seared chicken. I also had one of the 365 Colby Cheddar Cheese Sticks.

Dinner

The star of the day goes here. Wifey made Cheddar Bacon Baked Chicken, with a side of steamed green beans. Sorry, I don’t have a recipe or anything for this dish, as it was ad libed. It was different and delicious though. Added to  the meal list.

            Friday

Happy Friday my  fellow foodies and curious readers alike!

Today got its start at one of our local grocery stores (sorry work, it is what it is sometimes…). Take a look at our plunder!!

Some of these items will recieve an individual review at some point in time.We got our Swerve™ on (pun very much intended), we’re going to try some of these Oh Snap™ pickles, the Smuckers™ sugar-free syrup, Green Giant™ zuchinni noddles & riced cauliflower, Sweet Baby Ray’s™ Buffalo Wing Sauce….and some others in this picture will be tried for the first time. Stay tuned!!

Breakfast

So my wife follows this youtuber, Ketoginja, maybe you’ve heard of her, maybe you haven’t. Anyway, she has a lot of interesting content on her page, and she seems pretty normal. Back to the breakfast….

Thanks to Ketoginja (and whoever she got the the recipe from) my wife made the Egg Loaf “French Toast”. I’m not going to front, I was skeptical…how would a breadless french toast turn out? You know what though?!? I’m not mad at it!! I look forward to having this again as a change from savory breakfast eggs.

The best part about it is that THERE IS PRACTICALLY NO CARBS OR SUGAR in this dish!!

If you want a visual on how to make it click here.

  Lunch

I just decided to have a repeat of the previous nights dinner (leftovers tend to be appreciated with this way eating).

⇒New snack alert!! 4505 Pork Skins (chili and Salt flavor)⇐

Stay tuned!! I will discuss those in another post at some point!

Saturday

Breakfast

We had a repeat of Wednesdays breakfast.

Dinner

I used to hate egg in my salad, but now that I’ve began this way of eating. Tonight’s salad of choice — Cobb Salad.

As you can see, I chose to omit the tomatoes tonight (really not a huge tomato fan, unless they’re firm). Still turned out to be a great looking and delicious salad. Of course, no Cobb would be complete with out Ranch dressing drizzled on top.

Sunday

Lunch

I decided to bring out the tried and true Fatboy’s Dynamic Duo with the addition of some pepperoni and turkey slices.

Dinner

Taco salad seemed to be the best option today (sorry no picture).

Overall, I think that my first official week was a huge success. Yes, there were struggles, but in no way as bad as I thought it would be. The journey continues…..

Tune in next Sunday for edition 2 of Keto Week in Review.

#Keto Week in Review 8/27/18 - 9/2/18, Ed. 1 (1 week down, 4lbs lighter) #ketodiet #ketoweek #nocarbsnosugar Hello my fellow foodies and curious readers alike!! This starts my official first full week of Keto eating, so my posts will be a little different for a while.....maybe permanent, who knows.