#but they don't see me the same way and it's time to leave the past in the past
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saltylemontears ยท 23 hours ago
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camraderie || mv1
summary: come right on me, i mean camraderie...but do you? warnings: FILTHY SMUT, friends to lovers,, no plot just filth, quite rough? a/n: ...i have no idea how this came to be. i feel deeply ashamed. this is honestly just pure horny, please do not interact if you're uncomfortable
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you're supposed to be friends. hell, you have been for the past 3 years. but friends don't make out after winning a race, or do they?
friends don't pin each other against walls and slip their tongues in each others mouths, do they? but fuck, you just did.
max's hands wander over your body as he kisses you roughly, tugging at the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head.
you pull away from the kiss and lean down to attach yourself to his neck. you're not sure if you can, but you leave a small purple mark on the juncture of his neck and shoulder.
in a moment of clarity, you look up into his eyes, seeing nothing but pure desire. you raise an eyebrow, asking for consent. he responds with a passionate kiss, his hand slipping down under the fabric of your pants.
he kisses your neck while his fingers reach lower and lower, pushing the fabric of your panties to the side. his teeth nip at your sensitive skin, sending little waves of pain contradicting with the pleasure of his fingers on your clit.
you let out a sharp gasp, burying your head in his chest with embarrassment. you feel too much but not enough at the same time. combined with his other hand lightly brushing against your nipples, you're sure you're going to cum soon if he doesn't stop.
"fuck, max," you whisper, breathing heavily, leaning against the wall behind you. he grins. "fuck me, please..."
that seems to switch something inside max because he pulls his hand away carefully and carries you to the couch of his hotel room. the soft pillows feel nice when you fall onto them.
you tug your pants off, seeing max do the same, and fuck, he's gorgeous. he attaches his lips to yours again, lightly biting and you can feel his hard-on press against your thigh, so close but so far from where you need him.
he leaves you again, but comes right back with a condom in his hand. you giggle at the way he's walking around the room butt naked, still seeing him as your best friend more than anything.
his finger dips into the heat of your cunt, collecting some of your wetness, bringing them up to his mouth. you almost moan at the sight of him sucking his own finger clean.
with a kiss to your lips, he lines himself up with your pussy and pushes in with a shudder and holy shit, you have to cover your mouth to not be too loud.
he starts to move, setting a fast pace. you place your hands on his chest, holding onto him like a lifeline.
you feel heat pooling down in your stomach, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him even closer, allowing his cock to reach even deeper inside you.
"oh fuck," he groans, hips snapping against yours, fucking you like it's what he was made to do. he decorates your neck with messy kisses, making sure to leave a few marks as well.
a moan escapes your mouth when he begins to rub your clit again, the pleasure maddening. you feel beads of sweat start to form on your forehead and your climax approaching. max places his lips on yours, swallowing all of your noises.
his fingers on your clit pick up their pace and you cry out, suddently thankful for him silencing you. "i'm so fucking close, max, baby, please don't fucking stop-"
your orgasm washes over you like a massive wave, pussy tightening around his cock and he moans as well, thrusting up into you, overwhelming you with pleasure. with a few more snaps, he spills inside the condom, drops his forehead on yours, completely spent.
you run your hand through his slightly damp hair, letting him rest against your chest. caressing his back, you sense your brain coming back to its normal state.
max groans when he gets off of you. you expect it to be awkward, but really, it's not. it almost feels...natural.
he sits next to you after throwing away the used condom, looking right into your eyes.
you giggle. "gee, at least take me on a date first, verstappen."
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redclercs ยท 2 days ago
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DELICATEโœฐCHARLES LECLERC.
xv. he was sunshine, i was midnight rain
โ€” the one where you broke his heart 'cause he was nice.
โ๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ? ๐˜ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต. ๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ? ๐˜–๐˜ฉ, ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ? ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ? ๐˜ž๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ?โž โ€”๐‹๐€๐๐˜, ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ‘.
warnings: angst, not proofread and pls go easy on me i'm coming out of the worst block everrrrrrrrrr. our girlie is making poor choices pls hate her a bit for it, the last bit is charles centered. 2.23k words (+articles!)
masterlist โœข next
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by Tom Gill
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The worst time to have a carreer on Public Relations is when your client is as unhinged as y/n y/ln has proven to be. Many people, myself included, can't help but feel sorry for whoever is on her team because there's only so much someone can do to put out a fire when the person burning is the same one who keeps lighting the matches.
y/n just can't stop messing up, can she? Just when her fans thought she would rise from the ashes with an outstanding movie deal, the 'Queen of Romcoms' has to go ahead and mess things up by proving that people who aren't blinded by her master manipulations are right: y/n y/ln is in fact a cheating snake.
The Deuxmoi post talking about an actress involved with a Formula 1 driver and her presence at the Italian Grand Prix last Sunday are enough confirmation of the fact. y/n is not ashamed to be seen on broad daylight with the guy that broke off her engagement.
Don't kill the messenger, y/n fans. Aidan Kim and Victoria Presley did warn you.
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New York, United States, September 10th.
It feels like you've just finished unpacking when you find yourself throwing stuff in a suitcase once again. There is little to none excitement in you as you decide between a couple of blouses and recite Amy's lines outloud inside your messy apartment.
"Waitโ€”that's not right," you huff, unaware that you've let the blouse you like the least inside the suitcase. The lines slip your mind like butter on a pan. Honestly, you've started to wonder if several of your braincells died in the past month. Nothing other than 'I want to be great or nothing' seem to have stuck. So much for how well that single line applies to your life.
"'It looks like it's never done a day of work in its life'," you mutter, picking the script up from the dining table. You have studied it a million times, gone through lines and rehearsals and a thousand other things. You have called Greta and Timothรฉe and Saoirse and they have called you on their own accord to agree the accurate tones of scenes and interactions, and yet you are sure you are still going to mess everything up once the camera starts rolling. "God, help me."
The clock on your phone tells you it's 9:30 a.m. and you are nowhere being done with your luggage. Also, Charles' plane lands in less than an hour and you are not making it to the airport in time. He has a busy month race-wise and he has still made some time to come to New York before you leave for Boston in a couple days and you are both turned upside down with the Asian race-tour.
There is one reasonโ€”and one reason onlyโ€” that Mildred has agreed that you should have these two days off. That reason is not Charles Leclerc, given the fact that she has grown to hate him even if she can admit, albeit to herself only, that he has done nothing wrong. You are supposed to be preparing more interviews and then a prolonged stage of silence while you focus on filming Little Women. Mildred has a whole plan laid out and that is another script you have to follow. No improvisations though, you have been warned.
โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
Time has a funny way of passing by when it comes to Charles and yourself. Your whole relationship feels contained in a moment and also in a century, and every time you see each other again, even after just a few days a whole other bubble of time seems to have passed. You think it's Charles' way of making it feel special, making you feel special by looking at you like you're a part of him he's constantly missing when you're not right next to him. A 'lovesick fool' you have heard him been nicknamed by people who try to be nice, at least a little bit. Others sneer at how they can't wait for the 'honeymoon phase' to be over.
And it's precisely the way he looks at you before he's crushing you against his chest that makes you hold your tongue for the rest of the day. You cannot bring yourself to tell him the plan the people around you have made without asking for your inputโ€”much lesser hisโ€” to salvage your career and your reputation.
It nags at you how stupid you're being. Maybe some part of your brain did die between Sunday and today, but you are certain you won't be able to bear the disappointment in Charles' eyes when he finds out what you agreed to.
This visit is less touristy than the last time Charles came to New York. He's leaving tomorrow and you, the day after for Boston, so you want to bask in each other's company as much as possible. You go to a cupcake place and take pictures, all while Charles re-tells everything people have said about his win on Sunday. He's become even more of the Golden Boy he already was in the eyes of Ferrari fans, and you feel love swell in your chest at the fact. You love that he's loved, there's nothing he deserves more than to be loved.
"Will you show me the script now?" Charles asks, taking his light jacket off as he crosses the door to your apartment. A slight feeling of embarrassment flashes through you when you focus on the different disasters around the house but Charles either doesn't notice or doesn't mind as he makes himself comfortable on the couch where several pairs of your shoes are scattered.
"I think it would violate my contract somehow if I did," you chuckle, noticing that your travel kit toothbrush and toiletries are on the coffee table. "I was sure I had those in my luggage already," you groan, pointing at them.
Charles laughs, patting the spot next to him and motioning you over excitedly. "Can I see it please?" he elongates the 'e', with a mocking puppy eye look on his face. "Read me some of your favorite lines," he's suggested so several times and you refuse him every single one. It's not like he hasn't seen you act, Charles admitted in one of your phone calls to have binged all of your movies.
"I can't," you fall into the couch next to him, wrapping one arm around his neck. "You make me nervous, it won't turn out good."
"You see me work all the time," he grumbles against your hair, "And you too, make me nervous. You're being unfair."
"Oh, booohooo," you mock, nuzzling into his neck. "Your job is far more exciting than me reciting lines."
"It is notโ€”"
His complaint is cut short as you kiss him, once, twice, so many times you lose count and he kisses you back between snickers and fake complaints about how there's only so much his heart can take before it explodes. It's so cheesy it makes you both cringe and burst with laughter before starting the scene all over again.
A re-run of a Foodnetwork reality show is playing in the background when you open your eyes after a short-lived nap. Charles is swiping through his phone with his other arm around you, the light in the apartment has faded almost completely giving way to late evening.
"Do you want to go out for dinner?" you ask pushing off of Charles' body and sit and rub your eyes. "Or should we order something?"
He locks his phone and stretches, still laying on his back. "Whatever you want to do, soleil."
You two are way too comfortable in your little cocoon to mess it up by going outside just to eat. Charles smiles, knowing you've already made your mind up.
You argue on the couch for ten minutes about what take-out to get and after you've finally placed the order on your phone, you get up to make some space the dining table.
"Here," you throw the bunch of papers at him softly. The 'Little Women' script is anotated from page one, and it is true that you probably shouldn't be showing it to him, but it doesn't really hurt anyone either. "Not a word, do you hear me, Leclerc?"
Charles laughs before crossing his heart with his index finger, eager to read about your next big thing.
You throw more stuff on your open suitcase, wipe the table down and look through your kitchen for an unopened bottle of wine while Charles reads and occassionally shouts something from the living room. He's so genuinely excited about seeing you bring Amy to life on the silver screen.
"Gooodddd, what's taking them so long?" you whine as you return to the living room. The 'your order is in progress' notification still alive on the screen of your phone. Charles doesn't seem to mind as he makes space for you to sit with him again.
"Couch potato," you stick your tongue out at him, placing your feet on his lap after reaching for the TV remote. You surf through a few channels, trying to remember what the name was of that crime documentary you wanted to watch on Netflix.
"...y/n y/ln making headlines again with her messy love life," the E! Show that's starting has your picture and Charles' next to each other.
Charles' eyes move from the last pages of the script to the TV and then to you. "Change the channel, love," he says as he reaches for the remote himself.
"Yeah," you click on the Netflix logo on the remote and the screen goes black as your phone pings, letting you know your food has been delivered to your apartment complex's lobby.
โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
There is something beautiful about domestic life with Charles even if it just exists for scarce moments like this. The smell of coffee and the sound of his humming lull you into a peaceful state of mind as you prepare breakfast before once again leaving for the airport.
Messages from Mildred, three or four already, remind you that you must be ready for the list of things she had also reminded you of a million times already.
'how did he take it?' you read from your phone, Mildred again.
You look at Charles and open your mouth. Maybe now that he's leaving in a couple hours you'll work up the courage to tell him about how Mildred is staging your break-up right this second. Which means nothing, right? Keeping it lowkey is for the best, even for him.
Right?
You open your mouth and close it several times looking at your disheveled boyfriend and his sweet smile.
"What?"
"There's something I have to tell you," you breathe out, screwing the already too tight cap on the empty bottle of orange juice that rests on the table.
"So tell me," Charles' smile widens as he puts both elbows on the table, ready to listen.
"I'm really going to miss you." you chuckle awkwardly, and there is momentary gesture, barely perceptible, in Charles' face that tells you he knows that's not what you really wanted to say.
"Me too soleil, but we'll figure it out," he's reaching for your hand with a weaker smile on his face this time.
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AFTER months of speculation about the nature of y/n's relationship with Formula 1 Pilot Charles Leclerc, a spokesperson for the actress has made an exclusive statemen for PEOPLE.
"They have never been romantically-involved," the source said. "Their friendship is undeniable but there's nothing more than that."
y/ln and Leclerc have been linked since April and spotted in public together several times, including at the Italian Grand Prix on September 3rd.
"Since becoming friendly they've ran into each other at several events," the source continues, "They are often surrounded by friends they have in common, such as Matilde Bassi and Timothรฉe Chalamet. y/n knows it's too soon to put herself out there romantically."
Despite a rumor surfacing on an online gossip site that they took a romantic vacation together in Greece, y/n's spokesperson tells PEOPLE that "pictures are often released without context to create controversy."
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Charles Leclerc has been blind-sided. Which, to be fair, in his career field is something he should be used to. But the feeling doesn't compare to being blind-sided by the person who is supposed to be your partner.
Charles understands, he always understands, or at least tries his best to do so. But this time, it really feels like he's reached his limit. It's not even about how he's become even more of the laughing-stock within his group of friends about how he's been parading y/n around and defending her honor for her to call their relationship 'casual' rather than not even getting a heads-up from her about the matter.
"Is there something you would like to talk about now, y/n?" Charles questions, trying his best not to let the anger flow into his voice.
Charles thinks the worst part is how long she stays silent, but it's not even close to what comes next.
"I tried telling you," she lies.
"When?" there is no point in hiding his anger anymore, even if he doesn't want to fight. This is one of those unavoidable things you expect to hit somewhere down the road in the relationship, not a month into it.
"I TRIED!" she repeats, unable to come up with any argument in her defense.
"You never tried! See that's the thing about you, you just wait for things to happen and then you 'try' to deal with the mess!" His accent is thickening with every word.
"If it bothers you so muchโ€”"
"What bothers me," he cuts her off, "Is how you cannot trust me with these things? What did you think I would say?!"
"Exactly what you're saying now, Charles," she sounds defeated and it manages to irk him an extra mile. "You don't understandโ€”"
"I don't understand how you still care more about what people are going to say than about talking to me. I'm your boyfriend!"
There is another long silence during which he can hear faint yelling in the background of her side of the line. On his side of the world it's nearly midnight.
"I've been thinking," y/n nearly gasps, "That maybe we rushed things."
"Rushed things?" his voice is so small now he wonders if it can really travel half-way through the world.
"Iโ€” Maybe Mildred is rightโ€” I wasn't, I am not ready for a relationship." She stammers, and Charles can picture her pinching her thigh in that nervous tick she can't quite manage to get rid of.
"You can't even take responsibility for your own feelings?"
It's always Aidan, Victoria, Mildred... a handy list of people to put part of the blame on for when she doesn't want to say things herself.
And Charles accepts it. He accepts her messes because he wants her, but now apparently y/n doesn't even want him back.
"What do you even mean by that?" y/n scoffs.
"Can you even be honest with me, then? Say that it is you who doesn't want this relationship, y/n, don't put it onโ€”"
"I'M NOT PUTTING IT ON ANYONE! THIS HAS BEEN A MISTAKE SINCE WE LEFT MYKONOS Iโ€”"
Charles didn't want to fight and now there is nothing to fight for, anyway. So he hangs the phone up, because sometimes things end in silence.
It's three am, and Charles Leclerc just got his heart broken.
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โ”€โ”€โ”€ team principal radio: โwhy hello there, i don't even know if you remember this fic but it is for my own peace of mind that I have to finish it!!! also i love these characters a lot, even when they're acting so selfish and stupidโ€”looking at you y/n. Thank you if you are still here and like me, had to reread it to get to this chapter.โž
โœฐ paddock club members: NO PADDOCK CLUB THIS TIME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE STILL WANTS TO BE TAGGED.
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cinnamxnangel ยท 3 days ago
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showstopper ! (mlist)
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warnings: none rlly! fluff, banter, banter, banter
chapter 4: it's not a date .แŸ
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"and cut! y/n, megumi i'd like to speak with you. privately." gojo calls out.
the three of us sit down in the producers lounge, waiting for someone to speak.
"you both are incredibly talented," gojo starts. "i don't have to say that, your work and success speaks for itself." i smile. "but i'm not feeling a lot of chemistry when we're filming. i know you guys may have your own feelings about each other," he says eyeing the both of us.
i didn't realize our dislike for each other was that apparent.
"that's fine and it's none of my bussines," gojo leans back. "but on set it's a different thing. it's a job, right?" megumi nods slowly. "that's why i think you two should go on a date of sorts."
"what?" we both exclaim at the same time. i look at him, annoyed.
"relax.. it's only for an hour. and it's not even a date, just the two of you hanging out alone." i can see gojo fighting the smirk on his face.
i want to slap it off.
"what are we supposed to do?" megumi asks. he hasn't looked at me this entire time.
he talks like i'm not even in the room.
"i don't know." gojo shrugs, the sly smirk now painfully visible. "you're both adults, figure it out."
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we walk in an uncomfortable silence, purposefully not meeting each other's eyes. i hear a couple of kids laughing, running quickly to their destination. i crane my neck to see where they're off to in such a hurry. my eyes meet with a brightly lit neon sign that reads "arcade".
a smile finds its way to my face as i recall the days where i too found such excitement over simple things.
"what are you looking at?" megumi asks, realizing i've stopped in my tracks. "you can't be serious." he sighs once he reads the sign. i smile.
why can't i enjoy these things again?
my feet seem to move on their own towards the arcade, megumi unwillingly following behind me.
"what are you? 4 years old?" i roll my eyes.
"are you always this grumpy?" i ask.
" 'm not grumpy." he says, in an almost pout. it makes me laugh.
"i feel bad for anyone who has the displeasure of meeting you."
"self-pity isn't a good look on you."
"i wonder how your fans would feel if they knew how you really are?"
"they would say 'i can fix him'. my fans are delusional, they'd do anything for me." his words are sweet, but there's a look of distaste on his face, like they leave a bad taste in his mouth.
"what? you don't like your fans?" i ask, a slight smirk on my face.
"i never said that." he mumbles, avoiding my gaze.
"didn't need to," i shrug. i walk to the front, buying the ticket cards. i look over at megumi, one eyebrow raised. "do you want one?" i can see megumi contemplate the idea before finally exclaim..
"ah fuck it." i grin, buying cards for both of us. i thank the person, collecting the the cards. i hand one to megumi.
"you didn't even offer to pay?"
"you're a a-list celebrity, you don't need someone to pay for you."
"you're an a-list celebrity too. it wouldn't hurt to offer." i say.
"this was your idea, you pay." i roll my eyes.
rude, i think but from the expression of his face i realize i said that out loud.
"soo what'd you want to do first, princess?"
"don't call me that," i retort, shooting him a glare. i look around, the sounds of lasers and people's laughter filling my ears.
"uhmm.." my eyes linger on the giant crossy road game. i walk over, megumi trailing behind me. "i used to play this game all the time. i was soo good." i tap my card and place my fingers over the buttons.
i forgot how fast-paced this game was and i struggle to keep up. i die almost instantaneously.
"7 ?!" i exclaim. i can see megumi trying to hide his smile in the corner of my eye. i glare at him.
"like you could do better." a look of pure determination flashes in his eyes.
"oh yeah? bet." he taps his card and begins furiously clicking the buttons. he gets well past 7, finally dying when he gets to 151 points. he groans when he dies but looks at me with a smirk.
heat rises to my cheeks under his belittling gaze. "i haven't played in years, okay?" anger finding its way into my voice.
we continue playing for hours, these games turning into a competition, we had both won four, the last game deciding who's the winner.
"so what do i get when i win?" i ask, a smug smile plastered over my face.
"so certain you're going to win, huh?"
"of course." he lets out a laugh.
"what?" i ask, my brows furrowed.
"nothing, it'll just be all the more satisfying when i win." a ghost of a smile on his features.
his smile.
it was never sweet or genuine. it felt demeaning.
words cannot explain how badly i wanted to wipe that look off his face.
"ooo! let's play basketball!" i say, spotting the mini basketball game.
"alright. but I have to warn you, i used to play basketball in high school." my eyebrows shoot up at the idea of megumi being 15 years old, running around sweaty in a school gym. "don't look so disturbed."
"actually the idea of you being a ugly, awkward teenager brings me a lot of joy."
"i actually wasn't awkward or ugly."
"i think you're as delusional as your fans."
"okay, but we should have a prize or the loser has to do something." i say. megumi leans against the machine, thinking, his thumb and forefinger tapping furiously against each other.
"oh! if you lose you have to go on a date with my assistant." he says with a smug look on his face. i can tell from the look in his eyes that his assistant might not be the most normal person. but i take my chance.
"okay. but if you lose, you have to.. wear a shirt with my face on it for an entire day!" i smile. he shrugs.
"that's fine, you're not going to win. i suggest bringing pepper spray on your date."
we swipe your cards and grab the basketballs. there's a two minute timer, whoever gets the most points wins.
3, 2, 1.. go!
we both start to throw our shots and i don't bother to see how megumi's doing.
1 minute remaining !
"you might also need to bring a bodyguard. like a big one, todo is really buff."
"shh don't talk to me, i'm locked in." i don't look at him as i answer, continuing shooting.
time's up !
we look at the amount of points and-
"i win!" i exclaim. i jump up, a goofy smile painted over my face. his look of defeat brings so much satisfaction.
"you got lucky." he rolls his eyes. we exit the arcade while i continue to berate him and a scowl stays planted on his face.
but we don't notice, is the click of a camera, capturing a mundane moment between the two of us.
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roll the credits !
first date? but neither of them like each other
arcade dates are SO cute! when is it my turn? huh?
also not the pap rn
can you guys feel the ship edits, ESPECIALLY w megumi wearing her face
a/n: i had loads of fun writing this one. we are getting more plot heavy ๐Ÿ˜ˆ next chapter will be interesting.. have an amazing, amazing day my angels!
taglist ! - @missunrise @cyberst4rs @qtnfer @rxi-n-lyche3 @kenmacantakemeaway @soobinbunnie5 @c-haefilms @lupicalbestwolf @babysoo-meu @stillnotherapy @cl3xr @starrysho @good-mourning0 @ifuhatemeiloveu @bunichuu @aestheticallyviniย @mochroialainn @starsryiย @ladytamayolover @megumislovedoll @dimwitfreakby @urfavlarry @yowumi @bubybubsters @gumims @samkickikc @sukuna5slut @sugacor3 @angelcakkess @rixo-19 @idkidk32 @pandabiene5115 @q2uq2u @ichorstainedskin @izanacult @adormae @samkickikc @meowforluv
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watchmegetobsessed ยท 5 hours ago
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UNMATCHED
A/N: it's been like 6 months since i last posted something and honestly, i haven't even written anything, things are very shitty these days but i felt the motivation to write this quickly after watching 'tell me lies' and 'rivals' these past weeks so here we go! if student-prof type of fics are not your thing then don't read it
WORD COUNT: 2.6k
WARNING: age gap, student-professor relationship
SUMMARY:ย Harry is very strict about staying away from students as a young and handsome professor, but there is one person he can't get out of his head and a Christmas party brings an unexpected turn.
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Harry hates these type of parties, mostly because he canโ€™t imagine inviting dozens of students into his home, his private space, have the roam around and spend an entire evening with them, talking and pretending like they arenโ€™t just trying to get a better grade at the end of the semester with their too friendly behavior. Or, in his case, some girls try to push the boundaries and flirt with him, hoping to hook up with him.ย 
He is not stupid. He has heard students whisper about him several times, he notices the heart eyes when he is talking in class and he has gotten several phone numbers on papers since he started his PHD studies and started teaching last year. His friends teased him about being the heartthrob of the faculty, but he didnโ€™t think it would actually happen and to this extent. To avoid any possible scandals, not that he planned to make any, he has put on quite a rigid mask towards the students to scare them off from even trying, though that hasnโ€™t stopped some of them from wanting to shoot their shot.ย 
He wouldnโ€™t have come to this party, he would rather be home and continue his research thatโ€™s still not even close to being done, but Professor Bradford, or Stella as she requests Harry to call her, is the only person he gets along with in the faculty. She is 18 years older than Harry, but still younger than the rest of the old men who have been teaching here since probably before the declaration of independence was signed. Those men are the reason younger people donโ€™t like classic literature anymore, with their outdated ways of teaching and unwillingness to bring something modern into their lectures they are scaring the new generations away. But not Stella. She is one of the reasons Harry went into his PHD and now he gets to work with her. He couldnโ€™t just reject her invitation for her annual Christmas Party she holds for her students and some colleagues.ย 
Now he is standing by the wall, drinking mulled wine and just gritting his teeth, trying to calculate how early is too early to leave. A couple of girls have already tried to chat him up, they like to circle him, leave him almost no room to escape and then make him talk about school stuff, but then they slyly bring up personal things, hoping to break his usual character, but he sees through them always.ย 
Harryโ€™s best friend, Niall always teases him that he should just give in and have fun with one of them. His morals are a lot looser than Harryโ€™s, thatโ€™s for sure.ย 
Just as he is about to look for the bathroom, not to use it but to hide for a bit, another group of girls spots him and he can already feel his skin crawling as they approach him from down the hallway. He is quick to assess the situation, but he realizes he has no chance of fleeing before they reach him.ย 
โ€œProfesor! So good to see you here!โ€ย 
And here we go.ย 
It goes the same, they are extremely nice and inquiring about his plans for the next semester and then suddenly they are talking about summer and Harry knows they are moments away from asking what heโ€™ll be doing once the school year is over. One of the girls is talking about going to Italy on a yacht and the others chime in with their own ridiculously over the top plans while Harry is avoiding to even look at them, his eyes roam around the other guests.ย 
Thatโ€™s when he sees her.ย 
Just down the hall he can peek into the kitchen and there she is, with a boy Harry assumes to be her boyfriend. Heโ€™s seen them around campus the past few weeks, he even waited for her after Harryโ€™s class and saw them walk away together as he fought the way his stomach churned every time.ย 
Since the moment she walked into his class at the beginning of the semester Harry has been feeling like he is losing his mind. Whether it be the way she laughs with her friends before class or focuses with undivided attention as Harry explains something by the board, or says hello every time she passes him in the cafeteria, Harry canโ€™t stop thinking about her for days after even though he knows such feelings should be banned from his mind when it comes to a student. Every time he catches himself thinking about her he wants to throw himself out the window, but he still canโ€™t fight it. Thereโ€™s something in her that draws him in and swallows him whole and itโ€™s not just the looks. Unlike a lot of students who take his classes for easy credits or to drool after him, she is there to learn as much as she can and sheโ€™s had the most brilliant thoughts on certain subjects Harry has ever encountered, making him almost jealous he wasnโ€™t the one to think about them.ย 
She isโ€ฆ unmatched. And forbidden, but impossible to ignore. Sheโ€™s been his vice for months.
From where he stands it appears she is having a fight with said boyfriend, her always cheerful expression is now rather upset and confused while the boy seems to be over the conversation, almost irritated by her, dismissed. Harry tries to appear not too obvious about watching them, but he is also way too fixated on her to ignore whatโ€™s happening just down the hallway.ย 
He glances away just for a few seconds, but the next time he looks back he sees the boy stomping away, irritated, while she is left there, pulling on her coat before disappearing through the backdoor, swallowed by the darkness of the unlit back terrace.ย 
And before Harry could stop himself, he is already moving.
โ€œExcuse me girl,โ€ he mumbles disorientedly as he slips out of the small circle.ย 
He places his glass to a nearby table and then grabs his own coat from the wardrobe in the hallway before making his way outside. After her.ย 
The moment he steps out into the cold a short sense of realization washes over him that he definitely shouldnโ€™t be here, that he is crossing a line, but then another voice in his head tunes it out, convincing him that he is just making sure she is okay and thereโ€™s nothing wrong with that.ย 
Stopping by the door his gaze rakes through the terrace, but he doesnโ€™t see her, until she spots her slouched form sitting on the bottom of the stairs leading out to the lawn. He hears her sniffling, but she hasnโ€™t acknowledged his presence yet, if she noticed it at all. Thereโ€™s a couple of moments of hesitation on his end, he can hear the rational side of him screaming somewhere in the back of his mind, telling him to turn around and just walk back inside, yet he still finds himself moving towards him and then that voice is silenced.ย 
โ€œEverything alright?โ€ Harry asks from the top of the stairs, but he startles her so much that she jumps to her feet and backs away a few feet. Thatโ€™s when he sees her tearful eyes and red nose.ย 
โ€œS-Sorry, I donโ€™tโ€“โ€
โ€œHey, itโ€™s all good. You didnโ€™t do anything wrong. Just checking in.โ€
She squints her eyes at him and thatโ€™s when he realizes she must not even see his face since the light is coming right behind him. So he walks down the stairs and then finally his face is lit and realization settles in her eyes.ย 
โ€œOh, Professor Styles. Hi.โ€
โ€œHello Y/N. Are you okay?โ€ he asks again, to which she just chuckles bitterly.ย 
He canโ€™t miss that even with tears running down her cheeks and her eyelashes stuck together, she looks so fucking beautiful it baffles him. He has to fight the urge to reach out and touch her tear-soaked cheeks.ย 
โ€œUm, yeah, everything isโ€ฆ perfect,โ€ she scoffs, reaching into her pockets, probably looking for tissues, but finding none so Harry grabs one from his inner pocket, handing it over to her, her fingers brushing against his for the shortest second as she takes it and then itโ€™s over, but his skin keeps tingling.ย 
โ€œThanks,โ€ she mumbles before drying her face as much as she can. โ€œIโ€™m good. Justโ€ฆโ€ She looks at him and changes her mind. โ€œAh, wouldnโ€™t want to bore you with my nonsense personal drama.โ€
โ€œDrama is never boring, have you learned nothing in my class?โ€ he jokes and it actually makes her laugh.ย 
โ€œThis drama is not worthy of being taught in class though.โ€
โ€œI bet some of the big names thought the same thing upon writing what we read in class these days.โ€
โ€œSo youโ€™re saying I should write about how my boyfriend is fed up with me because I told him something he did hurt me?โ€
โ€œThat sounds like something I bet a lot of people would want to read about,โ€ he smiles and when she mirrors it, he can feel his chest expanding. Somewhere way too deep in his mind an alarm goes off, but it quickly becomes one with the void and all he can think about is her. โ€œActually I can think of a few great pieces that are about similar topics.โ€
โ€œReally?โ€
โ€œYeah, believe it or not, youโ€™re not the first one to experience this.โ€
The way she looks at him is setting him on fire. The mixture of sadness, tiredness and gratitude towards his attempt to cheer her up is still making her glow in a way Harry has never seen before on any woman.ย 
โ€œDo you mind analyzing one for me right now?โ€
โ€œIโ€™d be happy to.โ€
The party is completely tuned out for the two of them. First they actually talk about a novel, but soon it turns into sharing their favorite books and authors, their guilty pleasure reads,ย  recommendations for each other and even more personal bits Harry would never share with a student, but Y/N is the exception.ย 
They have no idea how much time passes as they stand outside and Harry ignores how the cold starts to sting his fingertips even in his pockets, because he knows that if they go inside this bubble will pop and he is too selfish to let that happen just yet.ย 
When thereโ€™s a short silence Harry notices that she is probably slipping back into what happened earlier and when she looks at him again he already knows she is about to share.
โ€œI gave him a chance and explicitly told him not to fuck me over, because I canโ€™t deal with that again. But all he has been doing is manipulating to believe that Iโ€™m always in the wrong.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s impossible for you to always be in the wrong.โ€
โ€œI know. Well, part of me knows, but then I always go back to thinking that he is right, I must have messed up something.โ€
โ€œThat just proves that you have self-criticism, that you donโ€™t just think everything you do is perfect.โ€
She sighs and looks away, her gaze distant as she battles herself inside her head, a feeling Harry knows very well, unfortunately. It doesnโ€™t sit right with him that she is visibly struggling because of an immature guyโ€™s untreated problems. She deserves so much more, but how can he tell that without crossing a line?
โ€œGive it some time and youโ€™ll see it clearer. Use your critical thinking on his actions as well, not just yours and donโ€™t settle for less than your worth.โ€
โ€œYou think I did that?โ€ she asks, eyes jumping back to meet his gaze. โ€œYou think I settled for less than my worth?โ€
Thereโ€™s more behind her eyes than the words she said out loud and he is torn, because he can feel himself being pulled in more than ever, like she just opened the door the slightest and he has the chance to slip in. Itโ€™s the first time he senses something on her part and after all the yearning he is eager to take the chance.ย 
โ€œI think you deserve a lot more, Y/N. Youโ€™re brilliant, bright and give so much to others, you should get the same amount if not more back. If someone canโ€™t see that, then they donโ€™t deserve you.โ€
For a second he wishes he didnโ€™t say a thing, he regrets crossing the line and he fears her reaction, but thenโ€ฆย 
Then he forgets everything. Because she is kissing him.ย 
It happens fast, one moment she is staring up at him with doe eyes, the next her lips are crashing against his, her hands grabbing onto the lapels of his coat. He barely recovers from the shock when she is already pulling away.
โ€œI-Iโ€™m so sorry, I d-didnโ€™t mean to, I justโ€”Oh my Goโ€“โ€
Her stammering is quickly cut short when he kisses her, his hands holding her jaw to angle her face perfectly and while her kiss was closed, rushed and panicked, this one is different. He is quick to beg for her to open her lips so he can explore as much of her as humanly possible, he is letting all the passions loose that heโ€™s been locking up these past months and when she returns it just as eagerly it just pushes him even further.ย 
They inch back to the wall of the house and when he pins her against it a moan slips past her swollen lips, completely maddening him.ย 
โ€œFuck, Y/N,โ€ he breathes against her lips, kissing her jawline, savoring the sweet taste of her skin thatโ€™s supposed to be cold, but itโ€™s actually burning. For him.ย 
He keeps one hand on the side of her neck, the other one digs into her hip through her coat and she keeps pushing against him, while her hands wander under his coat, they are on his waist, back and when they move to his lower stomach, brushing against his belt, something snaps inside him.ย 
But before he could completely lose his mind the backdoor opens and he quickly sobers up, pulling her farther away from the corner so they canโ€™t be seen.ย 
โ€œ...and that was actually crazy,โ€ a girl speaks up, oblivious to how Harry has Y/N pinned against the wall just a few feet away. They are both breathing heavily, but she has her face buried in his shoulder while he covers his mouth with a hand, adrenaline racing through his veins.ย 
โ€œAh shit, Iโ€™m out of cigarettes,โ€ another girl says.
โ€œMm letโ€™s get out of here then. I think Max said they are having a little party as well.โ€
โ€œOkay.โ€
Then the door opens again and the voices disappear, but reality hits Harry hard in the head.
He slowly pulls back, enough to look at her face and when he sees her swollen lips and slightly smeared mascara he almost combusts.ย 
Because he wants nothing more than to take her, right here and then everywhere else in the world, but he also realizes what he just did and this time his rational side wins.ย 
โ€œFuck,โ€ he gasps as he jumps back, cupping a hand over his mouth.
โ€œI wanted itโ€“โ€
โ€œY/N, stop!โ€ he cuts her off. โ€œFuck, this was a mistake.โ€
โ€œBut I wanted it! You didnโ€™tโ€“โ€
โ€œI said stop!โ€ he barks and she shuts her mouth right away. โ€œThis shouldnโ€™t have happened.โ€
And before she could protest again or worse, kiss him again, he is already storming back inside, across the house towards the front door.
โ€œHarry! I havenโ€™t seen you all night!โ€ Stella catches him, but he just wants to get as far away from this house and from Y/N as possible.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, I need to go. Iโ€™ll talk to you later,โ€ is all he manages to say before he is already out the door.
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed andย buy me a coffeeย if you want to support me!
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couldeatthatgirlforlunch ยท 24 hours ago
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a day in the life where everyone tries to win reader over, maybe they heard reader mention something like how they can't stand an annoying relative asking them about a relationship over the holidays, or trying to get her the best gift?
ps i love your writing, i read it like my morning paper
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A Day in Life: Christmas, Presents and Revelations
Synopsis: A day in your life full of good Christmas presents, propositions and secrets.
Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Assistant!Gn!Reader
Tw: Implied stalking; Calling someone a manwhore; Karens in the family with traditional and conservative ideals and miserable lives; Mentions of past cheating; Mentions of past Bucky Barnes X reader; Is Hal Jordan slowly getting his redemption arc?; Slightly implied horny Reader; English is not my first language.
Word count: 2,2k
Requested? Yup.
General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist
โ€” And it's just so annoying, like, sometimes I literally don't want to show up on these things, but I don't want to leave my mom there alone with my dadโ€™s family. โ€” You huffed. โ€” My auntieโ€™s too concerned about my romantic life, like her husband didn't get other three women pregnant at the same time she got pregnant and only married her because he would have to marry one of the four girls. โ€” You shook your head while your co-worker laughed. โ€” And you know what's worse? I told everyone I had a boyfriend, but Bucky cheated on me, and I didn't tell them that yet, so she's gonna think I lied and mock me like the middle-aged Regina George she is!
Unknown to you, certain people were listening, and silently, each one of them made a decision.
Your last day at work before Christmas, you were getting ready to go home, pack and take the road, when someone knocked on your office door. You looked up, seeing no other than Martian Manhunter at your door, holding a present.
โ€” How can I help? โ€” You hid your gritted teeth behind a polite tone.
โ€” I came here to follow the Earth tradition of Christmas and give my loved one a present. โ€” He stopped in front of you with a soft smile and extended the gift in your direction. You hesitated.
โ€” You didn't have toโ€ฆ โ€” You cautiously took the present from his hand.
โ€” I also have a proposition for you. โ€” And there it comes. โ€” I couldn't help but overhear earlier that you were in need of a partner for a meeting with your family. โ€” You wanted to facepalm. โ€” I could be that person. โ€” You sighed.
โ€” I can't show up with an alien superhero. โ€” You crossed your arms with a pointed look.
โ€” As you know, I'm a shapeshifter. โ€” You watched as he changed his appearance to look like multiple different kind of people, one moment he was a tall blonde man, the next, a black girl with braids, then an asian young guy, and so on, meaning he could look however you wanted him to. โ€” And you can call me by whatever name you choose, even the name I adopted here on Earthโ€ฆ Jโ€™onn Jโ€™onnes. โ€” He settled for his usual green alien appearance. โ€” You widened your eyes at his confession, thinking โ€œoh, shitโ€.
โ€” Uhhโ€ฆ
โ€” While you think about it, open my present, darling. โ€” He gently pushed the present in your direction again and you, still wordless, obeyed, while mentally searching for a way out of this.
You cleared your throat and teared the paper. The feeling of destroying the wrapping paper of gifts always made you feel a little embarrassed, as if the beautiful wrapping itself was the present and you were being rude by tearing it apart. It was a silly thought.
As you finished, you found out he gave you a comic book from your favorite hero. It made you excited, but you couldn't show it much.
โ€” Oh wow, thank youโ€ฆ โ€” You coughed. โ€” Can't even imagine how you knew it was my favoriteโ€ฆ โ€” You internally rolled your eyes. โ€” Anyway, about your offer- โ€” Another knock interrupted you, and you both looked at the door. Aquaman was there with another present in hand.
He looked suspiciously from you to the other hero and stepped forward, then focused on you.
โ€” Whatever offer he gave you, I give you one better. Take a king to meet your family, darling. โ€” He smirked and offered you his present. You ignored what he said, settled the comic on your desk, and opened his present. It was a necklace with charms related to the beach, like some shells, pears and fishes, all made of your favorite metal. You pursed your lips, not waiting to admit to yourself that it was pretty and you liked it more than you thought you would, just like the last gift.
โ€” Thank you. And about your offer, I can't exactly do that. You can imagine why. โ€” He shrugged.
โ€” Well, you can simply take me as your completely human lighthouse keeper, Arthur. โ€” He smirked and wrapped your shoulders with his left arm. You shuddered, thinking โ€œGod, noโ€. โ€” Weโ€™ll even invite them to our beach house, darling. Right on the shore. I also have a boat. Let's impress them. โ€” He grinned proudly, as if he was sure you couldn't deny him.
You shrugged his arm off and before anything came out of your mouth, you remembered about your auntie and her shittalking right now. She always wanted a beach house, but everyone knew your uncle prefered to spoil himself and his side-pieces than her or the kids, and yet, she felt superior to every member of the family who was single because at least she had a husband and she didn't need to work, including you.
Rubbing a beach house, a boat, and a blonde hunk himbo on her face could be niceโ€ฆ Even if you just offered to take only your immediate family there one day and then just pretend you broke up with him later, he and the league would still get the wrong idea.
โ€” Knock knock, oh- Whatโ€™s everyone doing here? โ€” Flash was there and pursed his lips while looking at the three of you. You groaned internally.
โ€” You can go, Flash, (Y/N) won't choose you. โ€” Aquaman, or Arthur, weaved him off. Flash narrowed his eyes for a second and then turned to you, ignoring him and beaming at you, extending a gift in your direction.
โ€” I bought you something! โ€” You discharged the necklace behind you and took the new gift, it was a bracelet with a lightning symbol in your favorite metal. It was also pretty, you were getting tired of it.
โ€” Thank you, Flashโ€ฆ
โ€” Please, just call me Barry. โ€” He grinned brightly. โ€” Please ignore the stinking ugly dressed fishman and the alien still learning to act like a normal human. You can take the funny and smart forensic chemist to meet your family. โ€” He reached up and took his mask off, you widened your eyes, at seeing his real face. Huh, you didn't think he was blonde.
You stuttered, too shocked.
โ€” Oh Godโ€ฆ โ€” You thought knowing their name was worse than their faces, secret identities and all, but something about seeing a real face that was kept hidden all the time felt like a heavier burden. To make matters worse, Green Lantern showed up. โ€” No.
โ€” Just hear me out, please! โ€” Everyone turned to him with annoyed expressions. โ€” I changed, I swear! And I apologized like, a thousand times. โ€” He cleared his throat. By your face, he knew it was the worst thing to say. โ€” Anyway, hereโ€™s your gift. โ€” He bit his lip while you took it from his hands and opened it with hostility. They were tickets for the next concert of one of your favorite artists, that made you feel a little bad for the way you treated him, but it didn't change what he did to you in the past.
โ€” Iโ€ฆ Thank you. โ€” You were trembling with nerves at this point from all the surprises you were having.
โ€” I heard you needed someone to bring home for the holidaysโ€ฆ
โ€” Uhuh.
โ€” And your dad is a big fan of the army, right? โ€” You blinked. It was true, but you never told them that, yet, you weren't surprised they knew that.
Where was he going with itโ€ฆ?
โ€” Please, not you too.
But he took off his ring anyway, and after a moment, he was wearing civilian clothes, along with a military jacket and dogtags.
โ€” Who better than a charming ex-air force member to present to your family? Test pilot now, I can take them flying. Actually, I can take you flying. โ€” He winked. โ€” Call me Hal Jordan, beautiful. โ€” He winked and saluted you. โ€” Also, I fought in the war.
โ€” Dude. Just give up. They're not gonna pick you.
โ€” I will never give up, I'm a green lantern, strong will is kind of my thing. โ€” He looked at you again. โ€” So, darling?
While you were staring blankly at him, someone cleared their throat.
โ€” Be reasonable, you don't have to be humiliated today. โ€” Wonder Woman catwalked into the room confidently. She was holding two bags from a clothes store in her hands. The amazon pushed Hal Jordan aside and stopped in front of you. She looked you up and down and smiled charmingly. โ€” Take me with you, darling. This is for you. โ€” She extended one of the bags to you. You took it and looked inside, then reached in and pulled it out. It was a beautiful outfit, completely on your style, and clearly of good quality. But when she pulled out what was inside the other bag, it took your attention and you looked curiously at the red wine satin dress she was holding up. โ€” And this is what I will be wearing. โ€” She smiled seductively. โ€” Diana Prince, pleasure to meet you.
You couldn't help your jaw from dropping while imagining her wearing that. While some family members might not admire the sensual outfit as much, you definitely would. Secretly. Your ego would too.
Damn it, why couldn't she be more normal and less yandere?
You swallowed, looking away from her and the dress. It was finally too hard to say no, but not for the mature reasons.
At your silence, Dianaโ€™s eyebrows rose up and she tilted her head to the side, with a pleased small smile. The other men in the room groaned and started arguing loudly, but she was untouchable in front of you.
Unstoppable force, meet immovable object.
โ€” I think I should just go home, it's getting lateโ€ฆ โ€” You rapidly shoved your gifts inside the bag, took your things and squeezed your way between them heroes, not even realizing how trapped you were previously, but just as you got to the door, you hit a brick wall, or Superman, as people usually call him.
You groaned and he looked at you sheepishly.
โ€” I guess after all of that I can't offer you something much better, but I can tryโ€ฆ โ€” Superman took a deep breath and before you could blink, he flew away, changed clothes, and came back. One second, Superman was in front of you, the next, just a regular cute guy wearing glasses and a suit. You took a second to recognize him and understand what happened and what that meant.
Damn, who knew glasses were a good disguise.
โ€” I'm Clark, Clark Kent. I grew up on a farm in Kansas and I work as a journalist at the Daily Planet. โ€” He smiled shyly and gave you his gift. โ€” I hope you like itโ€ฆ
You blinked and catatonically looked at the thing he gave you. Differently from the last gifts, it wasn't neatly wrapped and it had a weird shape, but by how it felt in your hands, you guessed what it was.
You expected the sight of a Superman plushie to greet you, but instead, it was a plushie of your favorite fictional superhero. The same hero from the Martianโ€™s comic.
Well, it was cute. You would probably fall for him if you didn't know better. You held back an awed sound that wanted to spill from the back of your throat.
Suddenly, the silence was broken by all the Justice League groaning a collective and loud โ€œGET OUTโ€, you looked up, confused and curious by what caused all this, surprised by seeing it was just Batman entering the room.
Huh, why did everyone react like that?
He stared at you, then at every single one of them, silently, almost disapproving, or disappointed, but then, he smirked when he looked at you again.
Batman was smirking? You flinched.
โ€” This is for you. โ€” He gave you a big box. It was surprisingly heavy. When you opened it, there was a very expensive and beautiful pair of shoes, something you only dreamed of having and was always on your Pinterest board. Only digital influencers and celebrities wearing it, making you jealous. But that wasn't all. There was also jewelry and a very expensive bottle of wine. You will definitely take it to the holidays to impress your family. Or maybe keep it to a very special occasion. โ€” And thereโ€™s more from where it came from. โ€” He reached for his cowl and your breath hitched. Never in your wildest dreams you thought this day would happen.
He took of the cowl, and in front of your wasโ€ฆ
Bruce Wayne?!
While everyone deflated, knowing they lost, you just had to hold back your laugh, but a snort still escaped. That took everyone off for a second, including the always stoic hero in front of you, who was clearly bewildered when you couldn't hold back anymore and laughed to his face.
โ€” You think I'm gonna show up to my family with the nacional manwhore? HA! Yeah, that's gonna impress them for the first five minutes, then I will be the dummy whoโ€™s gonna be traded for the next top model. โ€” You shook your head, still laughing. Bruce frowned deeper. You slightly feared for your job after you bluntly called him a manwhore.
โ€” I would never do that to you. My affairs are all to deceive the public and keep my job a secret.
โ€” And that might be true, but my family doesn't know that! Or are you gonna tell this to everyone? Funny. Billionaires are so delusional and out of touchโ€ฆ โ€” You shook your head and walked out.
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rebeltigera ยท 6 hours ago
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Absolutely obsessed with V!Wukong and Blind!Macaque.
I have questions, overall comments and some hypothesized things. (Feel free to ignore or not answer all of them, but the ADHD has kicked in and I gotta splurge because YES)
OKAY! So;
Youโ€™ve mentioned in the past that B!Macaque is terrified of Wukong because of what was done to him, PTSD is a bitch. How would V!Wukong get around this to show that, to Mac, heโ€™s not a threat?
* My first thought was, oh! He could start leaving his things around that smell like him so Macaque gets used to his smell, but that seemed more like training a dog, so probably not. But maybe?
Would V! Wukong try and steal Macaque some new eyes that work or an elixir that could heal his sight? Is it possible for his sight to even be healed at this point? Is that something Macaque would even want?
Once some time has passed and Macaque got more comfortable with this Wukong, would Macaque show his growing trust for V!Wukong by grooming his fur? Or allowing V!Wukong to groom him?
How would they show their growing intimately outside ofโ€ฆ well, physical affection? Would they feed one another? Pick out clothes they know the other likes? Little things unique to them.
Would V!Wukong ever tell B!Macaque about his macaque? And if he did, how long would it take him to open up? Same scenario with Macaque, how long would it take him to open up?
I like to imagine that the word โ€œDestinyโ€ is a forbidden word for both of them. Neither of them like hearing it. Good way to get V!Wikong to start growling.
Your B!Macaque is so beautiful, he reminds me of a delicate crystal flower, I like to imagine V!Wukong is scared to touch him for a while because heโ€™s afraid heโ€™ll break him further.
V!Wukong violently protecting B!Macaque is something that just makes my heart happy for some reason, and B!Macaque gently cleaning up and healing him afterwards even though V!Wukong is the last person whoโ€™d ever need healing is such a tender vision in my mind.
Okay, I believe thatโ€™s the end of my rambling. I canโ€™t think of anything else at the moment. I hope you have a wonderful day!
THE TISM HAS TISMED AAAA LOVE IT-
IDK why y'all decided that this ship is interesting after like - one art sksksmssm
But alr
... Oh boy the first one -
To be honest? I Don't know, maybe it would be his charm, the little things he'd do , or that he'd rescue Mac from falling into his own shadows. I didn't ever thought much about it
Mac wouldn't notice him at first . His heartbeat concealed, his power too. Wukong would indeed leave little things around but not in a "find my smell comforting way" . He would do that , move cluttery n dishes to more accessible places. Mac tend to leave them in the sun (to see them through shadows) but once the sun is gone they are gone from his view cuz they don't leave shadow anymore or are concealed by it.
Mac's eyes are not able to heal anymore. However Wukong would find a way to connect in a way their eyes. It wouldn't be permanent thing , just sometimes. See what I see kind of thing
Mac might not want but would need it. Because the last thing he saw was Wukong striking him . And it stuck like super glue.
Wukong might be the one to get a grooming session first. He'd be so confused and scared in a way . Like- he wouldn't expect that and sit obediently like a puppet till Mac would be done . Wukong wouldn't get to touch his fur tho.
Casual Physical affection would be everything to them . Because they both would be reluctant to it at the start .
Wukong wanting to touch but never doing so , Mac starved for it but never asking for it .
So their trust would be shown by it fully .
One thing that I can think of rn is that wuk would wake him up by gentle touches. He relies mostly on his hearing nowadays so it would be nice n comforting.
Whisper when he'd get a feeling Mac would get overwhelmed.
Outside of it , cooking , clothing etc etc - yeah it would happen
About telling him about his task- he wouldn't. Coming to that universe his memories become no more than flashes of the past. He doesn't even know what he searched so long for . He still get flashes of past Mihou and it brings him pang of pain but it'll pass.
For Mac to open up- months? Maybe years . Once he'd realize that V!Wuk is not a threat It would be easier. Wukong got nothing to hide from him so he'd be open like a book.
Mac speaking of destiny
Wukong growling it's bullshit, while hugging him closer
He'd get some pats.
The other moments he might growl more would be in safe heaven called nest, but it's story for a different acc sksksks
Wukong indeed would be scared to hurt him. Those bloodied hands are the one that destroy everything. He wouldn't dare to taint Mac with em. He would have moments when he'd think if he held him too strong he might crush him . Just like that.
The last thing might've happen , but wukong would rather want to keep to himself if he'd ever got hurt or dirty with blood . Mac is too pure.
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bradshawshawaiianshirt ยท 2 days ago
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Stuck on the Past | Part 8
Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Ex-girlfriend!Reader
Summary: You never thought you'd see Bradley Bradshaw again, especially the way things ended between the two of you. So what happens when he's suddenly back for a special mission and is determined to win you back too?
Warnings: Angst (ish), adult language, drinking
Length: 1.8k
Stuck on the Past masterlist
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"We need to talk."
Bradley stood in front of you, his heart pounding and slightly breathless from jogging up the stairs to your door. As soon as he'd docked, he'd sped towards your apartment, probably running a few red lights along the way. He knew he probably looked tired and he was still in his flight suit, but you were the only thing on his mind. He didn't have time to waste. He didn't know what he was going to say or do, he just knew he had to see you and the right words would find him. Hopefully.
When he pulled up outside your building, his first thought was that you wouldn't buzz him in, so he couldn't believe his luck when April opened the the main entrance at the same time he'd been walking towards it.
She saw him immediately and had held the door open tentatively, almost guarding the building, looking him up and down, before sighing, "Great timing, she's upstairs." He nodded quickly and moved to walk in, but she stopped him, her voice stern, "Don't fuck it up this time, Bradshaw."
"I wont." he said quickly, as he held her stare. Eventually, April nodded, and stood aside to let him in. "Thank you." he said, before jogging in the direction of your door.
Once he was stood outside, he wasted no time in knocking. But when you answered almost instantly, he realised he still hadn't thought of what he was going to say, so he settled on, "We need to talk."
Your breath caught in your throat as you saw him, "Bradley?"
"I'm here." he huffed, "Can I come in? Please?"
You bit your lip nervously and nodded, cautiously letting him inside. He walked into your living room and frowned as he saw the boxes scattered across the floor. His eyes flicked from box to box as you said, "Ignore all the boxes, I'm-"
"Are you moving?" he quickly turned to face you.
You nodded, unable to meet his eyes, "It's a long story-"
"But you didn't write the article?" Bradley took a few steps towards you, his head spinning as he hoped you were just moving to a new place somewhere close by.
You shook your head, "No. I didn't write it." You watched as Bradley glanced at all the boxes again, "I got another job... In Washington. My flight leaves tomorrow."
His eyes met yours once again. He paused, before shaking his head, "No. You're not leaving."
You frowned, "Bradley, I'm sorry about what happened but-"
"No." he said, taking another step towards you, "You're not leaving. You can't." he paused, "I almost died out there. I almost died so I can't... I won't waste anymore time on- on running, running from us, from... being happy." he ran a hand through his hair, "You make me happy. That's the bottom line. I want that for the rest of my life and I know you do too."
"Bradley..." you sighed.
"I've been in love with you since the minute I saw you," he continued, "and you know what? Through all the deployments and moving, that's the only constant thing in my life. Whether we're together or we're not, it doesn't matter because I love you." he rambled, "When I first saw you, at the Hard Deck, I couldn't believe my luck. It's like I was being given another chance to do things right. I thought... it was like, fate or something."
You felt a lump in your throat as he continued, "And when- when I found out about the article, I was upset, you know, I was pissed." he huffed, "But I was more angry with myself. I was angry because I screwed us up, you were right, okay? I ran." he stepped forward and gently placed his hand on your cheek, "But I'm not that person anymore, I'm not scared anymore, I want you. All of you. I want cheesy movies and late night talking, I want you to beat me at pool every single time we play." he chuckled, tucking a stray hair behind your ear, "I love you. I always have and sweetheart, that's just the way it's always going to be. So you're not leaving. You can't."
Bradley let out a tense breath and watched you closely as he waited for you to say something. He didn't think he'd been that honest with anyone in years, but there was no way in hell he could lose you a second time.
Your eyes drifted from his and towards the floor, "Bradley.." you sighed and finally met his eyes, "You were the love of my life and I... I think about you all the time, but-"
"No," he muttered, "No buts, please-"
You shook your head and took a step back from him, "You and I... We don't work. We might have worked for a little while back then, but that was years ago. Things are different now, I'm different and I can't-" you took a breath, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill, "I can't put myself through loving you again. Not when it's bound to end the same way."
"Sweetheart-"
"I think you should leave." you crossed your arms, wanting to look strong, clam and collected, when really all you wanted was to run to him and tell him everything was fine. You knew, however, that you couldn't, that you needed a fresh start, that it was the rational thing to do.
Bradley said nothing. The most he could do was give you a small and curt nod, before quietly leaving your apartment.
That was when you let the tears come.
It was the next morning, while waiting to board your flight, that he called you. You'd spent all night second guessing your decision, going to call him and then switching your phone off, you'd practically forced yourself through the airport. It was times like these when you wished you had some sort of angel or something to tell you what to do, whether you should make the smart decision or the reckless one. You watched as he called, deciding ultimately not to pick up, since it was almost boarding time anyways, but you couldn't resist listening to the voicemail he'd left you.
You found a quiet corner of the airport and pressed play.
Hey, uh, I was just going to call to say that I hope you have a safe flight.
There was a pause.
Okay, no, I know that's what I should be saying but-
You heard him groan.
If by some miracle you listen to this before you get on the plane, could you just do one thing for me? Switch off your brain for a second. You've always been smart, way smarter than me, but I need you to just.. not be, just for a minute.
You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath as you carried on listening.
I want you to listen to your heart for a sec. I know it sounds cheesy sweetheart, but I need you to think about how you feel. If you don't love me, go ahead and get on that plane, and I promise you, I will never bother you again. But if you do...
You heard him sigh.
I'm gonna be waiting for you tonight at the Hard Deck. If you don't come by 11... then I'll know, and I'll try to move on, even though my heart is and will always be yours. Goodbye sweetheart.
The line cut off and you stared at your phone screen for what felt like forever, until a voice echoed through the airport.
"Flight 731 to Washington is now boarding. All passengers on flight 731 to Washington, your flight is now boarding."
-
Bradley sat at the bar of the Hard Deck and checked his watch for the eighth time, 10.46. He sighed and glanced around the bar again, feeling stupid, because for all he knew, you hadn't even got the voicemail and had maybe even already landed in Washington.
He tapped his fingers against the bar top, quickly turning when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but sighing when it was only Mav. He sat down on the stool next to him, clearing his throat, "You okay?"
Although the two men had spoken a bit about their past and were on their way to mending things, it was still slightly awkward between them. Bradley shrugged a little and took a sip of his beer, "I'm, uh, I'm waiting for someone, who I'm not sure is even gonna show up." he grunted.
Mav grinned a little, "Is this 'someone' a girl, by any chance?" Bradley nodded as he continued, "Well, I've never had the best luck with women," he chuckled, "but you want my advice? Trust the universe."
Bradley snorted, "Never took you for a spiritual guy, Mav."
Mav grinned and shrugged, patting Bradley's back as he stood, "I'm not, but in my experience, the universe always has a plan." He began to walk away but paused, "Why don't you help me fix up a plane I've been working on this weekend? Keep ya busy."
Bradley slowly began to nod, "Sure, we can do that."
Maverick smiled, giving him another pat before walking away. Bradley noticed Penny hadn't been around the bar in a while, and it dawned on him that Mav may have been there waiting for someone to show up too.
He shook his head and chugged the rest of his beer, checking his watch again, 10.59. He sighed, standing up and leaving the bar, strolling towards his bronco, ready to head home and sleep off his sadness. When he looked up to see his car in the distance, he noticed something.
Someone was leaning against the passenger door.
His footsteps quickened and once he was a few steps away he let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.
There you were, effortlessly beautiful in jeans and white t-shirt, hair down and moving with the breeze, and your eyes were on him. Exactly the way Bradley knew it should be.
As he got closer he grinned, "You're late."
You smiled and took a few steps towards him, "Shut up and kiss me Bradley."
You could deny it all you wanted but realistically, you knew. As soon as you saw him at your doorstep, hell, from the night you'd seen him at the Hard Deck, he had you. So, even if it wasn't the smart thing to do, or maybe it was, you didn't care. Bradley reached forward and grabbed your waist, his lips quickly finding yours as your hands made their way up to his hair. The kiss was gentle yet passionate, full of words that neither of you had the guts to say over the years you'd been apart. It was right then, as he kissed you against the backdrop of the sea, that you knew you'd done the right thing.
It almost felt like you were both young again, because nothing had changed. Not really.
When you both pulled away for air, he rested his forehead against yours. Of course there were conversations you both needed to have with each other, things to work out, but for now that could wait.
"I love you. So much." Bradley muttered against your lips.
You knew any important conversations didn't matter, because you'd both chosen each other and right now, that was enough.
"I love you too, Bradley."
---
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I might do an epilogue for these two but I'm not sure yet - let me know if its something you'd wanna read!
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lupins-hehim-pussy ยท 5 months ago
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I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘‚Iโ€™m all ears
I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!
The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.
More:
Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.
Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)
Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like thatโ€” oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.
Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4โ€“5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.
Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.
The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.
They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.
And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.
I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.
#and then. and im putting my most controversial opinion in the tags bc im scared lmao. but like... then... you have the fans..... doing......#the same fucking thing.#the amount of times I have seen Wriothesley used as just a side prop for Neuvillette to feel bad about shit. While Wriothesley is just.....#portrayed as having the inner peace and acceptance of a fucking monk. I was shocked when I read some fics I swear#they really said this man has no trauma at all! the stuff in his past? he's over it!#i hate that passivity when writing victims. like ok if One is written like that#sure. but MHY write all their victims like this#I mean look at fucking Lanoire#and Neuvillette sentenced him to prison after he killed his parents who were never confronted by the law. That's canon.#that's more canon than WRLT itself.#why weren't they confronted? did wriothesley try to talk to someone about it? why did he feel like killing them is his only option ?????#at least have there be some sort of conflict and friction there. How does Wriothesley feel about the court and Neuvillette when#this is the literal system that allowed all that shit to happen to him in the first place???#are you Sure he won't be at least a little wary? the fact that some people think he's Grateful to Neuvillette or even idolises him is crazy#because the man literally subjected him to prison. and if you want to portray his prison life as easy breezy and trauma free#you undermine his entire shitty little 'prison reform' narrative#and if you think he'd be completely 100% accepting of the justice system. Then why the fuck would he kill his parents himself#don't you see that the whole 'I'll accept whatever sentence in order to kill my parents' thing in itself is an act of defying the system#and I Hate#this idea. about being some of the most powerful men in the nation. and yet they can't fucking TRY to set up a better system or smth#i can't believe I read a fic where leaving starving street kids croissants is the most they (the characters and the writer) want to do#like. what the fuck. the whole point of that scene is just to make neuvillette feel bad and be like aw......... poor people exist.... OK???#this is literally how MHY would portray him though.... tbf..... This is what ppl would argue as 'in character'#I just think the character they're in is bad.#I will say I'm giving the fic a lot of grief. there's more to the scene than that. and. ultimately.....#fanfic is (saying this through gritted teeth) ........ recreational....................and free........... in the end.................#i dont think this is reflective of the writer. I do think it is reflective of the way the canon material (genshin impact)#presents in the audience who consumes it. most fans only want these guys to fuck anyway. not think about systemic injustices#canon doesn't make it about the systemic injustices either so why should we. the aesthetic of slums and prisons are just there for fun guys#IM JUST CRAZY OK. I SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE THIS IS NOT FOR ME . I DONT CARE THAT MUCH FOR PEOPLE FUCKING AND I CARE TOO MUCH
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seaofreverie ยท 1 month ago
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First day back at the university and I still suck at this exactly as much as I did 4 years ago
#i wish doing something over and over actually made it easier from then on#how come i've done this so many times and i'm still as horrified by the prospect of group projects and exams and all as in the very start#can they invent a higher education that doesn't require you to prepare a group project for every damn subject that exists#can they also invent an intercating with people#in a way that doesn't leave me feeling like the only person on earth who somehow doesn't get it#how do people just start talking and becoming friends :( it's literally impossible for me#it's such a mystery. how the hell do they all do this. what's your fucking secret !!!!!!!!!#not that i expected to become friends with anyone in one day#but one day was already enough for me to start feeling as alienated and othered from everyone else as i've always felt#like god it's always the same damn thing. each year i hope it'll be different and it's still the fucking same#i try to appear nice and approachable and chime in to the conversation whenever i can (just like i've been doing for the past 4 years)#but i guess there must just be something deeply wrong with me that makes everyone avoid me in the end anyway#am i really that unfriendable. can anyone tell me what i'm doing wrong#and why no one is interested in holding a conversation with me for more than 5 minutes in total#it's literally back to the same thing that i've done over and over before and i truly don't see any point in any of this anymore#it's just so ridiculous ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ why do i even keep trying at this point#back to school so back to crying alone in my room every evening i guess#how beautiful how poetic. i almost forgot this was the daily standard for the entire past year#never getting out of this ok i get it :))#friendship was meant to be for everyone but me i get it now!!!#worst year ever everything bad is happening. going to my first funeral on thursday i'm definitely going to take that well hahaha#it's been only a day and i'm already so done. ok.#i'm freaking out man what am i even supposed to be doing anymore. it's all pointless
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per-the-jellicle-magician ยท 5 months ago
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Out of all the things I could be discriminated against for at uni I would have never thought dyslexia would be the first one XD
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the-moogle-of-your-nightmares ยท 10 months ago
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living with people who Walk Extremely Fast while needing time alone in the shared house spaces to do your basic selfcare/starting-the-day routines + having Trauma around being seen even fucking existing in shared spaces, including a long-ongoing and hefty dose of it from said people themselves, is a living hell actually. especially when they insist on constantly leaving doors wide open that would normally mitigate the house being a fucking panopticon and also give you like two seconds' warning that they're entering the space so you can brace yourself or leave. Hate
#moogletalks#me: starves myself for hours; takes my medication extremely late; and spends 90% of my time trapped in my bed with my health deteriorating#while waiting for people to Fucking Go Somewhere Else and Stay There for Like 20 Fucking Minutes Jesus Christ#me: finally either musters myself to tiptoe out and quietly go about my business because i thought they found somewhere else to be#or just fucking gives up and braces myself for sandpaper to my triggers + probably filling the Flip Out and Abuse Moogle meter a little more#housemates: GOD YOU'RE SO FUCKING LAZY RUDE AND SELFISH YOU JUST WANT TO HOG THE COMMON AREAS AND HAVE EVERY LITTLE THING HOW YOU WANT IT#YOU'RE COLD AND UNFRIENDLY AND ONLY WANT TO LIVE HERE LIKE A LEECH BECAUSE YOU STAY IN YOUR ROOM ALL THE TIME#BUT ALSO I HATE SEEING YOUR FACE AROUND AND YOU DON'T SPEND EVERY MOMENT I CAN SEE YOU ENTERTAINING ME OR BEING ''PRODUCTIVE''#[MULTI-HOUR SCREAMING MATCH AND THREATENING TO MAKE YOU HOMELESS BECAUSE YOU HAD THE UPPITYBITCH AUDACITY TO ASK ME TO TURN A LIGHT OFF WHEN#I LEAVE A ROOM OR MAKE A LIST OF CHORES OR STOP TURNING THE THERMOSTAT TWO DEGREES PAST WHAT YOU CAN TOLERATE]#it's like fucking clockwork and i'm sick of it and when the people involved walk like they're training for the fucking olympics#and constantly remove or invade every single way for you to avoid them the tiniest fucking bit#it makes things a hundred thousand times more stressful!!!!!!!#and i KNOW most of these people would be doing the exact same thing with my bedroom if it was even slightly more socially acceptable#they would be straight up taking the bathroom door off its hinges so they can repeatedly walk in and out while you're trying to take a shit#it is a hundred thousand fucking percent a control thing and i hate it i hate it go AWAY. GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY#abuse cw#ableism cw#venting cw#food insecurity cw#housing insecurity cw#traumatag#adventures in mental illness
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skrunksthatwunk ยท 11 months ago
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jumpscared by least favorite seasonal chore
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#I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST LEAVING IT THIS YEAR SINCE IT WAS SO LATE. FUCK THE GRASS IT'S SHITTY GRASS#it's almost xmas why did you not rake the yard while i was um. not around#IT SUCKS OKAY. I"M NOT A TEAM PLAYER#ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND MANDATORY POINTLESS YARDWORK#it hurts my back and my joints and it takes me forever and it's always stupid bright outside and i hate kicking the rakes and it's never#good enough because if i'm raking the yard it should be perfect right?? it always turns into a 3 day thing and the yard isn't even that big#we just all suck at it except for my dad so he spends the whole time being like well why don't you just do it this way. dad i CANT that's#why i'm doing it my way. it's shittier but it's Possible and yours is not. bruhgh i hate raking the yard sorry that's all#i am feeble and sore and i hate moving please don't make me do this#he's like why do you sit on the ground to scrape the leaves into the bags girl what else do you want me to do. i can barely do the dishes#without sitting sometimes and you want me to rake for 6 hours??? what?????#look i know this is mostly trivial but it sucks okay. fuck my stupid baka life#i have been exactly this bitter about such chores my whole life and im not stopping now. i hate being made to do stuff on a whim that hurts#me for an entire day when i wasn't expecting it okay. i feel like that's a normal response adults are allowed to have even though children#are not. something something children's autonomy etc#and honestly i just hate being in my yard doing manual labor in full view. you should not be able to see me moving around what ew gross#(<- super weird about being perceived doing anything physical) (<- hates being seen moving awkwardly and so anything but small practiced#movements are just. agh. unless they're silly and i can make them smoother but like exertion? No. oh my god i hate that)#shit like oh i don't wanna put a bra on bc that's uncomfy but what if my neighbors ogle me while they drive past i don't want that#just some gangly twink failing a basic task in the clumsiest way possible and fucking all their joints at the same time. sucks. hate#(<- man i don't even feel right EATING around people for the most part like. you want me to RAKE?? movement is a performance and you put me#up there with no rehearsal no script nothing just the wikipedia page for hamlet. i can't do this all of a sudden. what. what)#(<- i just. waughhUAGHH i hate it so so much i don't like it okay. for reasons that are yet to be diagnosed)#(<- no body language is natural to me so it must be practiced to feel natural AND YOURE PUTTING ME ON THE SPOT. IT FEELS WEIRD)#aughh. if i had the leaves on a table and a chair or something i'd be better. not great but better. but all the bending over and crouching#and scooping and getting leaves under my gloves and the scary scuttly bugs and scraping myself on the branches mixed in on accident i just#do not like it. gross#ugh at least now i have wireless earbuds. used to yank out my corded ones with the rakes pretty regularly and Oh Boy Did That Not Improve M#Situation There like. whewwww#and my dad's always like hey i know we're starting late (it's past noon here) but ummm i'd really appreciate it if we could really push
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shoyudon ยท 5 months ago
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๐ƒ๐Ž๐„๐’๐'๐“ ๐Œ๐€๐“๐“๐„๐‘, ๐ˆ ๐‹๐„๐…๐“ .แŸ
them forgetting a date night.
starring. gojo, sukuna, toji x fem! reader
heads up. cursing, no fluff, sukuna can use a phone (bcs u taught him lol /j), sukuna calling u "woman"
note. haiii, how are you guys doing? make sure to take care of yourself!! i'm feeling a bit angsty today, so i'm gonna write a bit of angst. i miss gojo, like so much u guys :( i might make a part two for this btw hehe
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โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ใ€ƒโ˜… ๐†๐Ž๐‰๐Ž ๐’๐€๐“๐Ž๐‘๐”
the one thing you hated more than people being late was people who don't keep their promises โ€” your boyfriend wasn't an exception to it. gojo's a busy man, you get it. for months you haven't been able to see him because he was so caught up in the jujutsu world; he saves people dan and night from lingering curses that it broke you a bit.
the jujutsu world treats him like a weapon; and you never liked it. despite your constant battering on him, trying to get him to quit and just settled in for a quiet life, he tells you that he can't. that people needed him, and you felt selfish.
but isn't it fine to be selfish sometimes?
clutching onto your phone, you'd tried dialing gojo's number at least six times before he answers. his voice groggy and slow, as if he had just woken up from a deep sleep, "huh . . . hello?"
you wanted to yell at him, especially because he was the one who has been reminding you about this particular date night โ€” and he was the one to forget about it, "good sleep?" you ended up asking him, voice hard.
"y/n . . . why did youโ€”"
"why did i call? oh, i don't know. maybe because my boyfriend stood me up for an hour and a half. i look like an idiot sitting here, satoru," you mutter out in embarrassment, avoiding the lingering gazes from both waiters and waitresses around you.
for the past hour, you've lost count of how many times you'd ask them to refill your glass of tea โ€” embarrassing. then telling them you were waiting for someone when they tried to ask you if you were going to order anything since there were people waiting for a table, just for the said person not showing up.
"what time isโ€” oh, fuck. baby, i'm so sorry, i fell asleep when i was workโ€”"
before he could finish his words, you finished it for him, "working. i get it, you're always working. clearly, you don't have time for anything else, right?" you ask him, signaling the waiter nearby for the bill.
"baby, i know. i'm so sorry, i'm on my way, okay? please," he whispers. you could hear a few shuffling on the background; along with a few curses he muttered under his breath as he stumble over his feet, mind hazy from all the sudden movements he was doing despite just waking up.
"no need. i'm leaving the place," you mutter, walking out of the restaurant โ€” heels clacking on the pavement, "and 'm leaving you, because clearly you're not ready for a relationship, so bye."
gojo yells out, "what? no, baby. i swear โ€” i'll make it up to you, please. don't leave me . . ." he rambled on the same words over and over again, "where are you? i'm picking you up. please, can we talk about this? i'm sorry, i know i should'veโ€”"
"bye, satoru," and with that you ended the call.
โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ใ€ƒโ˜… ๐’๐”๐Š๐”๐๐€ ๐‘๐˜๐Ž๐Œ๐„๐
you fiddled the hem of your dress as you sat inside the almost closed restaurant, the last speck of hope you had on your boyfriend โ€”sukunaโ€” dissipating into hopelessness. standing up you walked over to the cashier, taking out your card to pay for the one glass of shrimp cocktail and one glass of white wine.
the cashier shot you a sympathetic look, and you didn't dare to look her into her eyes. face hard from embarrassment and shame, "thank you for coming, come again next time, ma'am . . ." she bids you goodbye as she returns your card.
walking out of the restaurant that now had the 'closed' sign flipped made your stomach churn in mixed feelings: anger, embarrassment, shame, sadness, everything all at once.
sinking your nails onto the palm of your hand, you muttered out strings of curses. you knew being in a relationship with someone who had no understanding to the concept of love was a hard thing โ€” but honestly, you thought you got a hang of it. all this time you had been nothing but patient with sukuna, but maybe even that wasn't enough for him.
three hours. you sat alone inside the restaurant you booked for the both of you for three hours โ€” each hour depleting your hope even more. and sukuna just managed to fuck it up even after he said he'd try. well, you should've underlined the keyword there: he said he'd try not that he'd come.
maybe you saw it coming yet it still disappointed you anyways.
your phone rang. even before you see who it was โ€” you knew it's none other than sukuna. your heart screamed at you to answer his phone call, but your mind told you to leave it ringing because you were in no mood to talk to him. yet, at the end โ€” you still pressed the answer button.
"what?"
"where are you?" his rough voice echoed through the line as you walked down the nearly empty street, holding onto your purse, "place's closed."
scoffing, you answered, "'f course it's closed, it's almost ten. i've been waiting for three hours, ryo. three hours."
you could hear him inhale sharply, "i was caught up with something, woman. where are you now?" he questioned. hearing a few car honking behind on the background, "where are you? answer me."
"doesn't matter, i left. and i'm leaving you, i was wrong thinking maybe i could've changed you โ€” turns out, i couldn't. good luck to you," you mutter out sternly.
sukuna raised a brow, "y're kidding."
you weren't, and all he could hear next was the loud dial tune of the other line hanging up โ€” now did he realize that this was all serious and you were actually leaving him for good.
โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ใ€ƒโ˜… ๐“๐Ž๐‰๐ˆ ๐…๐”๐’๐‡๐ˆ๐†๐”๐‘๐Ž
you sighed, dialing toji for the first time of the night when he said that he was going to pick you up for a date, the phone rung for a while before going into voicemail. grumbling under your breath, you tried dialing him again for the second time, which ended up the same way.
all these time spent on makeup and picking out the best outfit โ€” all for nothing as your boyfriend, toji failed to show up on time. angry, you tried calling him again for the third time, only for it to end up in voicemail yet again. this time you decided to leave a message for him.
"hey, you forgot. didn't you? hope you're happy with yourself, cause 'm not."
dating toji wasn't the easiest โ€” but you love him, no matter what he was like. and it was stupid of you to do so, all this time you've defended his name against your friends' malice towards him, saying how he wasn't treating you well enough and that you deserved so much better.
despite all that, you love him. disregarding their words, retorting back to how toji treats you well, which he does โ€” except for the times he tended to forget about everything, even you. maybe it was time to open your eyes and actually break up; because you did deserve better than this.
it would be a shame to let all this makeup go to waste, and so you hailed a cab and decided to go out for a treat. and made the best out of everything, that is until toji decided it would be the most convenient time to call you back amidst your little "me time".
wiping your hand on the napkin, you answered him, "huh, you're alive," you muttered out, huffing.
he sighs, "i forgot, sorry." you couldn't see him, but toji actually looked remorseful, already on his way out of his apartment to yours, "i'm on my way."
you chuckled, "doesn't matter. i left my house," you informed, taking a bite out of the crab meat, "so don't bother coming โ€” and i don't think i don't deserve this kind of treatment from anyone, even you, toji. i'm breaking up with you because clearly you don't take this relationship as seriously as i am."
toji furrowed his brows, "i forgot, i fucked up, i can make it up. where are you right now?" he asks, his voice still as calm as cucumber. but the look on his face contradicted the tone of his voice.
"bye, toji. good luck."
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ยฉ shoyudon 2024 . no copying or reposting allowed !
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icemankazansky ยท 4 months ago
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A Simple Guide to Not Being Afraid to Write Comments to Fic You Read
I've seen a lot of posts about the current state of fanfiction comments. Writers, especially writers who have been in fandom for a decade or more, are frustrated by the lack of comments, and have noticed a definite decline in comments (and all other forms of reader interaction) in the past ten years or so. Many readers feel daunted by the expectation of leaving comments, afraid they'll do something wrong. As a fandom old maid, the latter confused me for a while, until I realized that most of the people who feel that way probably have not been taught this form of communication.
But your loving fandom elders are here for you. Come along as your auntie tumblr user icemankazansky makes this shit easy.
The easiest way to think of fanfiction comment etiquette is to compare it to something you likely already know: Gift Receiving Etiquette.
Fanfiction began as largely a gift economy. And a lot of it still is! You'll see authors participate in exchanges like Yuletide and Id Pro Quo; those are ficswaps in which authors write for a specific person to specific prompts. And even outside that, fanfiction is not written for money; authors write and post it simply for the joy of creation and community with fellow fans. Fic is posted free for anyone to enjoy. Is that not a gift?
So. When you as a reader finish the chapter or story you're reading and you are faced with the comment box, try to follow the same etiquette you would when receiving a gift. (And even if you didn't love this gift and it's not your favorite gift ever, we already know that it's more useful than the products from your cousin's MLM that they're passing off as gifts, because you read the story. At the very least, it entertained you for the time you took to read it.)
The big rule of gift receiving etiquette is not to insult the person who gave you the gift, either directly or indirectly. That's it. Full stop.
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I've been seeing a lot of comments lately that are just along the lines of, "Thank you for writing this story and sharing it with us." A+, top of the class, full marks, you're doing amazing. If you don't feel comfortable commenting on the story itself, that is perfect feedback. And that's the most basic way you respond to a gift, yes? Thank you for the gift. Thank you for thinking of me. Thank you for sharing.
Does this rule mean that you cannot say anything at all that might be negative about anything? No, absolutely not. What you want to avoid is saying something that is, at its core, a negative evaluation of the author or their work. Let's do some examples.
Character A's obliviousness about Character B's MASSIVE crush on them made me so frustrated! I was tearing my hair out internally screaming, "JUST LET HIM LOVE YOU."
โœ”๏ธ Excellent comment! You're allowed to have all sorts of feelings about things that happen in the story, and in fact authors LOVE to hear about any emotions they made you feel. Yes, frustration is not a positive emotion, but the thing you are expressing frustration about is not the author themselves or their shortcomings.
Contrast that to:
I was really frustrated that it took you so long to post this chapter. The cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter had me tearing my hair out, and then you just left us hanging FOREVER!
โŒ Nope! Here what you are expressing is frustration with the author and how fast they come out with new chapters. Imagine your sister buys you a gift for your birthday, but she isn't able to give it to you until the next week, and you respond with: "What took you so long?" I think Emily Post would frown on that.
Reframing
The way you say something and the point of view from which you give feedback can have a HUGE impact on the message you're sending. Let's take the last comment (the one about wanting an update) and see what happens when we reframe the same sentiment as a positive:
I was SO EXCITED to see that you updated this story! I have really been looking forward to seeing what happened after the cliffhanger in the last chapter.
โœ”๏ธ Now it's not an insult. The author will be happy to know that you are happy to see new work from them.
This idea extends beyond the story itself: to the fandom, the characters, the pairing, the tropes, etc. Let's do some examples.
I looooove reading about these sexy boys SO IN LOVE even though the movie you're writing about is SOOOOO problematic.
โŒ Nope! Assume that the author enjoys the canon, characters, pairing, etc. in the stories they write. This comment is insulting to the author because it basically says, "That thing you love is not great, and you should probably feel bad for liking it." Imagine your aunt gifts you a sweater from a popular retailer, and you respond with, "This is so cute, I love it! It's a shame that it was made in a sweatshop." Do you have a valid point about the canon or the retailer's business practices? You very well might. Is this the proper time and place to talk about it? Absolutely not.
Let's do a reframing exercise. You should be very careful about how you approach commenting negatively on anything in the story that appears in the tags list, but you can make it a compliment and good feedback if you have the right perspective. See the difference with these two approaches:
I kind of think frottage is disgusting, but I liked it in this story.
โŒ Nope! You just told the author you think their kink is disgusting. That's like telling your poor aunt who is just trying to keep you warm this winter that she has awful taste in knitwear. Try again.
Frottage normally isn't my kink, but I love your other stories with this pairing, so I decided to give it a try, and I'm SOOOOO GLAD that I did! This story was ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ
โœ”๏ธ "This normally isn't my thing, but you made me expand my horizons!" Authors love to hear that. That's like telling your aunt, "I never thought this color looked good on me, but I look so cute in this sweater! I'm so glad you helped me step outside my comfort zone, because I'm the better for it."
thank u, next
The last thing I want to address is this new trend I've seen in commenting lately: placing an order. If your mom surprises you with new headphones, you don't respond with, "I wanted the white ones ๐Ÿ™," or, "You should get me a new phone, too." It's easy to see why that isn't appropriate in a gifting situation, and it's also not appropriate when commenting on fanfiction.
Let's do some examples:
This fic was soooo cute, but it would have been a million times better if Character A had been with Character C instead of Character B.
โŒ There are a few things going on here. Number one, you're telling your mom you wanted the white headphones, not the ones she actually bought you. You're also disparaging the A/B pairing that the author chose to write about, and as we discussed, we can assume that the author wrote the pairing because they liked it. Even if it's not their favorite and/or they also write A/C, they made a choice for this story to be A/B, and the comments section of a fic is not the place to question choices the author made in their own work.
You should write a story where Character Z who is not even in this story does [thing that is vaguely referenced in the B plot].
โŒ "You should get me a new phone, too."
I want a sequel. ๐Ÿ˜ž
โŒ "Thank you, next!"
You can reframe this kind of sentiment if you are careful about it, and it's not all you say.
I really loved this story. I would be so interested to see these ideas explored further if you ever decide to write more in this universe.
โœ”๏ธ Not "gimme." Not "more." This is, "If you build it, I will come." It is a HUGE difference.
You already know how to do this. You know how to graciously accept a gift; just use that same etiquette, and boom! Now you know how to fearlessly write a comment to fic you read. You're doing amazing. Go forth and comment.
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audisive ยท 8 months ago
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โ™ช WEST COAST. (๐Ÿ’Œ) โ€“ next part
เฑจเงŽ simon 'ghost' riley | reader
synopsis: soapย accidentally finds out about simon's girl.
tags: fluff, romance, simon is a big baby !! let us all accept this fact, soap and his assumptions, uh bad jokes, very rushed fic, crack ?, reader can indeed fix simon
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Soap isn't sure when his assumptions started, nor is he sure how it got to Gaz and Price himself.ย 
Maybe it was when he started to notice that Ghost left base whenever he could. (How come ye never leave base? It's a hassle havin' to go back and forth for nothin', Johnny.) Maybe it was the smudged color of red and pink on his balaclava, the lingering perfume on his hoodie, or his new wallet taking the place of one that was once worn out.
"Wha's yer favorite perfume, LT?" "My enemies' sweat and tears."
(It's well-known that despite the fact that Ghost does consider the 141 to be his family, he keeps his personal life very private and away from them. They respect that, in turn, but let's face it, Soap is nosy.)
Really, it was an accident. Soap swears it was!
He just happened to be passing by his lieutenant in the bar where the team had all gone to celebrate a wreck of a mission that they've managed to successfully finish. Truly, it was an accident when his eyes caught a glimpse of Ghost's new wallet, and he really, very much so did not mean to watch a little too long โ€“ long enough for it to open and reveal a hefty amount of cash and a small square of colors, barely noticeable.ย 
Soap's feet move before he could quietly search for more.
"Got a new wallet, aye?" He slides beside the taller man smoothly, just as the Brit had grunted out another order of Bourbon. Ghost hums in acknowledgement.
"Y'got a crush on me or somethin', Johnny?"
Soap chuckles even if the other does not. "A just happened tae see it. Fancy little thing."
It doesn't take long before Ghost disappears into the night, but the Scot swears his pace was a bit faster than usual when he left the awfully-smelling bar, and Gaz would be lying if he said he didn't see the little picture of a pretty bird tucked away in his scarily huge lieutenant's wallet.
It's not that Soap often makes bold assumptions about people and their personal lives, not when they're out of reach from him, but can you really blame him for thinking that the words 'Ghost' and 'girlfriend' do not sound right in the same sentence? Would it be considered an assumption this time if he'd seen the photo himself? Surely, his superior isn't some perverted freak who keeps an image of a breathtaking woman he randomly found in his private items. Uh, he hopes not, at least.
"Bullshit!" is what a drunken Soap yells when the Brit nonchalantly discloses to the team, without hesitation, that he is simply not interested in dating. He spills everything he's gathered in the past few months, from the smallest hints to the biggest; the unfamiliar strand of hair on Ghost's hoodie to the wallet from months ago.
"A'm no crazy!" Soap convinces no one as he's ushered back to the barracks for making such an insane assumption about the lieutenant in his unreliable state. Ghost's lips curl up into a smirk against the cold glass of Bourbon in his hand, sat back and relaxed with his legs spread wide.
Call him a big baby (he is) for making a fool out of his sergeant instead of just telling the truth and bragging about his angel to the others, but can you blame him? He just wants to keep you tucked away in his pocket, away from everyone else. What are you talking about, lovie? 'Course 'm not ashamed of you. You're just too pretty for them, is all. Gotta keep m' girl safe, yeah?
Besides, they don't have to know the way Simon melts into the nook of your neck when he gets home from deployment or know that he uses your lavender-scented shampoo. And no, it doesn't matter that Johnny knows. It's his word against the lieutenant's. He spares his LT and turns a blind eye this once.
When the time is right, Simon is sure to properly introduce his heart to his unspoken family. For the time being, he just wants to keep you his pretty little secret.
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ย  ย  divider by @cafekitsune !
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ghouljams ยท 24 days ago
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Ok nobody extrapolate anything about me from this...
The first time you cry in front of the 141:
The first time you cry in front of Ghost it's because you can't fucking take it anymore. All the little things, all the comments you know he didn't mean to hurt, all the conversations you ignored because you didn't want to make him feel like the bad guy, it all comes to a head. You don't even mean it to happen, and you feel like shooting yourself on the spot as soon as the tears start flowing. It feels manipulative. It feels disingenuous. You feel like a piece of shit having him awkwardly bundle you in his arms as you break down sobbing over a topic that normally would mean nothing to you. And it all comes out. All the worries and slights you ignored, all the fears and doubts, all the things that made you question if you could ever even start to bring up with him. Like throwing up, once it starts you can't stop it.
He looks like you've hit him when you finally escape his bear hug. You barely get the chance to take it in before you're thrust back into sobbing hysterics, blubbering out apologies, how you feel like you're manipulating him, how you're a bad partner, how you're sure he's going to realize he doesn't want you and leave. You barely hear the rough "Jesus Christ" over your own hiccuping.
Ghost shuffles the two of you over to grab you a t-shirt to blow your nose in while you're sniffling and wiping at your eyes. You feel pathetic having him hold the fabric to your face and telling you to blow.
"Didn't know ya made this much snot love," he jokes.
"You're dot funny," you whine, nose still clogged with wattery mucus as your tears finally start calming down.
"I know," he grumps.
"You're mad at me," you sniffle.
"I'm not," he sounds mad, "mad at myself. Shoulda seen ya keepin' things to yourself, I'm glad ya finally told me." His scarred mouth screws to one side. "Just gotta work on makin' sure we don't get to this point again."
-
The first time you cry in front of Soap it's because you're so fucking mad at him. He's arguing with you over nothing, the same way he always does when he's in a bad mood. Finding little things that dig at you and twisting just enough to make it not his fault when you snap. Back and forth with your barbs until you got to bed angry.
You can feel the tears burning at your waterline before they spill and you know your hot cheeks don't bode any better. You're not yelling but you almost wish you were, at least of you were yelling at each other it might make you feel better about the sudden waterworks. You hate when this happens. Too big an emotion in the body, it has to come out somewhere, you suppose this is just the quickest avenue. The way Soap's face drops from anger to concern pisses you off though.
"Hen, are ya-"
"I'm so fucking mad right now," you assure him, "don't look at me, don't even acknowledge them."
"Ah dinnae ken," His voice is getting softer, it only makes you more upset, "Oh my bonnie, ahm sorry ah didnae think this would hurt ya so bad."
"Fuck off," you try to push past him to lock yourself in the bathroom and he catches your arm to pull you against him. "Fuck off!" You shriek, pushing at him.
"No," he holds you a little tighter, "my mam would 'ave my heid hearin' ah let ya walk away from me like this, yer stayin' 'ere."
"I will fucking skin you Mactavish," you struggle harder.
"Aye anno, now shut up an' quit yer kickin'."
You do neither of those things.
-
The first time Gaz sees you cry it's because no one's ever seen you before. Even in your best relationships, your closest friendships, no one sees you like Gaz. No one picks you up from work with flowers and takes you by your favorite bakery just so you can have a slice of cake when you watch your comfort show. You're not even through the title music, Gaz sorting through your takeout options after he'd gotten you a "fancy plate" and a small fork to eat with, when you break down in sobs. He's on you immediately, hushing you as he gathers you into his arms. He's so attentive it hurts.
"It's OK baby," he hums, "don't have to talk about it, you just let it out."
God even that gets you crying. You don't have to get your words right or find a way to explain what you're feeling, you can just feel it. You try to think of a way to put it into words but it all lines up wrong, sounds too juvenile, doesn't make any sense even to you. There's no need to say anything though, Gaz just sits there with you, holds you through it as you wet his shoulder with your tears.
You don't even know why you're crying by the end of it, you just kept coming up with other reasons to cry. Jesus you don't think you ever got over your last grandparent dying, or losing that one friend, that's something to unpack later. You feel drained. Literally dehydrated drained. Gaz's shirt is soaked, but he doesn't day anything when you pull back.
He cups your cheek at wipes at the wet stains on your cheek with his thumb, eyes searching yours before he gives you a tight smile.
"Why don't you go take a hot shower, yeah?" He offers, you give him a watery nod, he smiles and pats your knee. "Alright, off you go. I'll be in, in a second."
The second time you cry in front of Gaz it's before he's got you pinned to the shower wall.
-
The first time Price sees you cry it's because you're tired. You're tired of giving everything to this relationship and seeing him leave right when things seem to be falling into place. His phone buzzes in the middle of the night and you don't stop the downpour when he grumbles out a swear and turns on the light. You glare at the ceiling and let the tears flow. It hurts. Tight in your chest. This feeling like you'll never be enough, like he'll always have something more important than you, it kills you. So why can't you leave him?
Are the good times really good enough to make up for the bad?
It makes him stop what he was doing when he sees the resolute grimace and the flow of tears over your cheeks. You shudder in a breath when he sits on the side of the bed. You refuse to look at him.
How could he do this to you?
"Sweetheart," he starts, his voice low, gentling, "I'm sorry."
"You're not." You correct him, "Otherwise you wouldn't keep doing it."
"You want me to choose between you and the world, you know what I'll say." He always sounds so sharp, ready to guilt you into giving up what he wants.
"I'm asking you to choose between me and paperwork," you bite back.
"You don't know-"
"You get phone calls when you're being deployed." You remind him, "You get reminders when papers are due." You turn to glare at him. The look on his face twists like a knife in your chest. You're dead on the money, and it's killing him. "So can this really not wait until the morning, are you really that eager to be rid of me?"
"I'm sorry," he tries again, toeing off his shoes, "you're right, I hadn't noticed." You turn over as he climbs under the duvet again. You fold your legs up as his arm drapes over you hip and he curls around you. His lips touch your shoulder, a silent plea for forgiveness. "Let me make it up to you, no more running into red tape I promise."
You don't bother agreeing to empty promises, but the next day he's had the paperwork sent from the base. The same the next day. Price always told you working from home didn't suit him. Waking you up with a cuppa on the other hand and walking you to the station does though.
He makes good on his promise, he doesn't run off until the next call comes in.
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