#but theres definitely a disconnect and it hurts sometimes

[steampunkedparm]

something something please dont ask me "are you sure your asexual??" when i sometimes talk about the possibility of having sex

YES!! I AM STILL ASEXUAL!! EVEN IF I EXPRESS THE DESIRE TO HAVE SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS!! EVEN IF I MAKE SEX JOKES (damn near all the jokes i make, mind you)!!

asexuals fuck. asexuals dont. what does and doesn't go on in someones bed is none of your fucken business unless. you're. in. it.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Ticci Toby trying to understand a s/o with Chronic Pain

Ticci Toby w/ a reader with chronic pain! (platonic)

no hate to you but im still not quite comfortable with writing romantic for toby!/nm wooo first creepypasta request of this batch lets go we're returning to this blogs roots yipee! this post may be a little blugh since i only just started allowing myself to write for toby and im still trying to get a hold on how i want to write his personality

one of the first ideas that came to my head when i first read this when it was sent in a few hours ago is that theres some level of disconnect... for lack of a better word. i mean toby himself doesnt feel pain, and he has mixed feelngs about it. on one hand he knows it makes him different and that often makes him feel like an outsider. on the other hand, he uses it as an advantage to power through things. the topic is complicated with him, and when it comes to you he doesnt fully understand why you're so careful with yourself; its not as if youre made out of glass

lack of being able to relate, you know?

not to say that he completely invalidates your pains. no, i think the opposite would be true. he cares about you a lot and hes going to hold onto you, and not let go. he is clingy and he is going to be obnoxious about it

i think he makes little notes to remember what helps with you (the admin totally isnt self projecting and giving toby horrible memory, definitely not), as well as leaves little notes for you to find throughout the day. cute ones, encouraging ones.. a little clunky and awkward but hey its the thought that counts!

^usually does the little notes for you on days where hes not going to be available for whatever reason, be it he needs to be put to work or what. honestly i dont think its uncommon for him to go MIA for a few days at a time given the nature of his work as a proxy

totally doesnt shoplift things that you like/will ease your pain. meds, snacks, stuff like that. that he paid for, obviously! nooo its not weird that hes asking to hide out at your house for a few hours he didnt do nothing!

offers to do your chores and stuff (with varying success) so you can lay down and rest. tends to only really offer them on your worse days, again in part to him not fully being able to grasp the level of pain youre in every day. hes trying his best!

gets you movies and games.. sometimes books, heating pads/blankets, things like that as well

less of a comfort guy and more of a distraction guy, definitely not a solutions guy; asides from getting (stealing) things for you, thats about where a lot of his comfort/solutions end, hes more so better prepared to keep your mind off of the pain with conversation and jokes and the aforementioned movies/books/games

definitely helps him to understand if you explain whats going on with you, be it simply saying whats hurting and why or even explaining your diagnosis, gives him something more solid to digest and work off of instead of just basic labels

[raisinchallah]

i am really interested in the way they play a lot with like power differential and like structural misogyny in season 6... like you know seasons 1-3 theres definitely this recurring theme of gabrielle must be rescued from creepy men or being a slave being a virgin sacrifice etc and its like gabrielle the innocent protected and all that tho like multilayered but whatever and often you know whats always characterized xena is shes like strong and cant get hurt i think what makes it easy for them to tackle such dark subject matter in a show still intended for all ages is that xena often does not feel in danger of that same gendered violence but in season 6 that disconnect is like equalized in many ways that xena and gabrielle like go into these spaces together with equal power and xena trusts gabrielle and that xena has suddenly become the more vulnerable one sometimes like in whos gurkhan despite the setting gabrielle is almost always more in control than xena is and when they finally get to a place they could kill gurkhan its entirely like a double act at that point and tbh sometimes they even like joke about playing with these gender roles the next time can i be the roman noble and you play the slave line literally an episode after they both played such a role last episode and like in the ring trilogy when gabrielle is placed as this like sleeping beauty men die for as she simply lies there asleep unaware xena is also positioned as a different type of fairy tale princess but slightly more horrifying with her memories gone idk its fascinating how these elements weave around as this constant shifting presence in the show but like balances move and change over time perhaps also interesting with this also not really having xena being a warlord with an army in any of her backstory flashbacks that often have this undercurrent of like the many types of violence they meted out that her valkyrie flashbacks are fairly tame compared to well anything from season 4 which was a constant barrage of shifting power dynamics and unhealthy sexual undertones to a lot of her relationships to power..

[okthatsgreat]

3, 23 and 76 (lgowab) for the ask game?

YAYAYAY!!!

3. describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic nothing TOO out there i dont think...... usually i have a very VERY loose outline of like. here is how the fic starts and here is how it will end, here is how these characters start and here is how they will end. yknow. and sometimes that outline doesnt even happen until a few chapters in LMFAOOOO sometimes i really am just making shit up on the fly !!!!!!!!!!!! i didnt have a set second protagonist in mind for lgowab until that fifth chapter lmfao!!!! IM A FRAUD

but THEN once ive gotten into the rhythm of it i usually write down ideas for further chapters/further dialogue down in an empty discord server, so while its still disconnected there is still SOME organization!!! which means i have a general idea of how these next chapters should go :)

23. best writing advice for other writers? ooooooo there are a few tips i would suggest! one of the more obvious is learn when to use line breaks definitely. don't just make it one big chunk of text! hurts the eyes and makes it less appealing for any new readers that are just chiming in!! also learn a bit more on writing dialogue, and remember that you don't have to add a name tag after every sentence of dialogue!! the readers are smart enough to know who is talking (ESPECIALLY IF ITS ONLY TWO PEOPLE) so constantly going back and forth between Person A said, Person B replied, Person A said, Person B replied gets repetitive!

and then one final piece of advice i TRY to follow for multi-chapter fics is the rule that the character whose pov we are reading from shouldnt be the exact same at the end of the chapter as they were at the beginning of the chapter. for example, if i wrote makoto to be tense at the beginning of the chapter, then the end of the chapter could have him more relaxed. if i wrote miu as confident in the beginning of the chapter, i could write her as unfulfilled and irritated at the end of it. this change can be subtle!!!! its a good tip for preventing stagnant characters/action as you move forward from chapter to chapter :)

76. did you have any ideas that didn't make the final cut of lgowab?

LMFAO HMMMMM LET ME THINK. IM DIVING DEEP INTO MY EMPTY DISCORD SERVER FOR THIS ONE also im just gonna throw this under a cut for spoilers GHFDJGB

ASK GAME!!!

a really REALLY early draft of the scene where makoto calls out a bunch of names had shuichi replacing kaede!! ultimately decided on kaede because it made a LOTTTTT more sense with mius story for her to be called, but i knew that i wanted somebody important from season 53 to be nominated in that scene and shuichi was chosen bc he was friends with himiko

korekiyo was also nearly on the list!

there was another danganronpa theatre event planned! i only wrote the title down so im not super sure about any details, but i thiinnnkkkkk this might have been an alternative scene to the himiko danganronpa theatre event we got (the one with rantaro). it would have starred the below characters and they would have been playing some kind of card game in the hospital. scrapped because the other event made a lot more sense for himiko

and then of course theres a whole bunch of dialogue thats just floating around LMAO

[odalissuarez]

Blog Post: Week 8 Due 10/14

Question 1: How can society be affected when there are certain types of bodies being made virtually?

I believe that the bodies that are bing created virtually is far from reality which begins to give society a misrepresentation for women. This can also lead to body image problems. As stated "these bodies reproduce deeply problematic versions of identity and bodies" they begin to display a women's body as one sort of beautiful and that can strongly influence society and how people see themselves and others (O'Riordan 2006). This is definitely a way to create insecurities and possibly high standards for a women's image.

Question 2: Do you think white supremacy has a chance of ending with all the sources people have virtually?

I do believe that white supremacy is far from ending due to all the events that occur stemming from that. In the reading, they had mentioned how white supremacy is stemmed from a newspaper back when information wasn't obtained as fast as now (Daniels 2009). I do believe that now that we have all these connections to anyone anywhere it's easier for these groups of people to unite and spread ignorant or false information about certain groups of people. With limitations that can be put on media, there can be less of this occurring but might be impossible to completely eliminate.

Question 3: How does cyborg imagery change a persons view on technology?

I think that cyborg imagery is definitely an inaccurate way to compare reality. I feel like since we are able to see how it isn't real as the real world theres validity that is being removed from there due to that. In the reading they mention how there is a disconnect from these metaphysics and technology and there are boundaries and sorts of communication with these (Haraway 1991). We also form our own relationships with these technological devices and sometimes we can see the way refusal chimes into these cyborg images that occur.

Question 4: In what ways do digital beauty hurt the way one seas themselves in real life?

I think that digital beauty has a huge influence on people due to the fact that virtually someone can make themselves look better than what they actually look like. People posting the highlights of the way they look/their life can make others start comparing themselves and begin to hurt themselves by not living/looking a certain way. I do think that teenagers are definitely a target because they are the ones that tend to be online more and they begin to be influenced by people and they begin to think that other people's way of looking and living is real.

sources:

Daniels, J. (2009). Gender, White Supremacy, and the Internet. Cyber Racism: White Supremacy Online and the New Attack on Civil Rights (pp. 61-86). Rowman & Littlefield

O’Riordan, K. (2006). Gender, Technology, and Visual Cyberculture. Critical Cyberculture Studies (pp. 243-252). New York University Press.

Haraway, D. (1991). A Cyborg Manifesto: Science, Technology, and Socialist-Feminism in the Late Twentieth Century. (354-359).

[horansqueen]

Vote For My Next Story

I'll try to keep this short. YOU&ME has ended, and it was a big part of the last few years of my life (along with AM Conversations). It'll probably always be my favorite and best story but that doesnt mean i want to stop writing.

please, know that the oneshots ideas are independent from the story ideas, meaning that i can write a story AND oneshots at the same time so let me know if youre interested!

(click on the read more to read the 10 synopsis of the story ideas I’d like to write)

AM Conversations & YOU&ME ideas:

-oneshots ideas for what happened after the story, before the story, or even in-between chapters in the story. you can send me ANY idea that you would want to read between Liv and Niall or other characters.

-oneshots ideas for any "what if" you can think of (i.e. what if one of them didnt love the other, what if they hadnt seen each other at the bakery, what if Liv had dated Louis, etc)

NEW STORY IDEAS:

NOTES: 

all the ideas are AU. 

 #2 #8 and #9 will include a few of the 1D boys. 

despite the title, #4 is a Niall fic

titles may change

                                   VOTE HERE!!!!

you can also vote by messaging me.

in the form, theres a place for comments but you dont have to leave any

you also dont have to leave your name or anything

thank you if you vote, it means a lot to me!

ill keep this open for a while, until i get enough votes :)

1- UNPREDICTABLE

They haven't seen each other since high school and they hadn't missed each other at all. In fact, they never really could stand each other. Her, a bit of a rebel, listening to punk music, searching for trouble whenever she could... and him, the good boy, popular and loved by everyone, who could rarely be seen without his guitar. It's been a few years already but not many things had changed and they still didn't have anything in common... except one thing. Both of them aspired to become famous with their music. With a twist of fate, they end up in each other's lives again and if they can put aside their resentment for one another, maybe they could bring something incredibly precious to each other. But nothing has ever been uncertain.

This is the story of two opposite persons who share a burning passion that may slowly bring them closer... or make the hatred they already feel for each other even more intense.

2- D.N.A. (daddies now available)

The test was positive. I was pregnant. The problem was, I didn’t know who the father was. It could be my ex boyfriend Liam, his best friend Niall or my best friend Louis. Or maybe it could be that boy I randomly had sex with, Harry... I had no idea and I was not going to find out soon.¸

All I knew was I had to tell four boys that there was a possibility for them to be a daddy in less than a year. Can you just imagine their reaction?

Contrary to all expectations, they accepted their fates.. somehow. And no matter who his daddy was, “little human” was going to get a lot of attention from a lot of men. Exactly like me.

This is my pregnancy story. And it was just the beginning of a long journey.

3- MEANT TO BE

When they first met, Louis was all *MAIN GIRL* ever wanted. However, a decade later the high school sweethearts had change and she felt like most of the sparkles she once had were now gone. Then she met Niall and it clicked instantly and intensely and since then, they’ve been seeing each other in secret, lying to their whole entourage about the nature of their relationship. Feelings started to grow, things started to change, and maybe, just maybe, it’s meant to be. Or maybe not.

A tale of broken hearts, unforgettable love and many… way too many lies.

4- LIVING WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON

Call me Queen Catastrophe. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my best girl friend and my apartment on the same day. Just a little friday afternoon like all the others, right?

Thank god, my best friend Louis was there to save the day. Nothing unusual. I was supposed to crash at his apartment for one night and then walk on my pride and go back to my parents to admit how much of a failure I really am.

However, Louis had other plans : he wanted me to move in with him. That’s when my story really starts. Mutual feelings, drunken sex, grocery shopping, fights that end up with porcelain thrown around the kitchen (I’m an intense person, I know) but most of all, his best guy friend stealing his (our, now) couch at least 5 nights a week.

I despise Niall Horan with all my heart. Him and his stupid charm, his flirty smile and his hands that always ended up in places they shouldn’t. He was threatening to come between Louis and I. He was slowly taking more space in our apartment… and in my heart.

Fuck, I hate Niall Horan with a passion.

5- FOR YOUR LOVE

After months of trying to get pregnant, Niall and his long-time girlfriend found out she was sterile. The news obviously shook their relationship and sparked a few arguments but after a long discussion, they found only one solution : hire a surrogate mother. As days go by, Niall's relationship gets harder and harder to save, and his connection with the surrogate mother of his child becomes tighter. Soon, he gets caught in feelings he can't explain and definitely can't understand. But life is not as easy as just following your feelings.

A story of unsettling feelings, confusing relationships, a deep and strong connection but mostly, decisions impossible to make. Can this really end well?

6- DATING FOR DUMMIES

*MAIN GIRL* has tried blind dates, dating apps, and speed dating to find her soulmate with no good result. Niall has tried pretty much the same without much more success. With all the bizarre, creepy and incompatible persons they meet, they're so close to give up on love until they meet each other through a friend. After a bottle of wine and a long discussion, they start thinking that maybe they were the problem, and that they're too dumb for dating. That's when they decide to make a list of what they individually want and need on a first date and finally decide to try it together. Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and they will both realize that feelings can't be controlled.

When all else fails, the solution will always be to follow your heart.

7- THE BREAK-UP PLAN

*MAIN GIRL* and Niall's relationship had started when they had barely entered their teenager years. Now, over 10 years later, they feel like something is missing. They didn't know anything else besides each other and it had to change. They still planned on spending forever together but their lack of experiences and mistakes seemed to be an obstacle between them.

They agreed on  break that was not really a break. for six whole months, they would be able to do whatever they wanted to do with whoever they wanted to. Going to parties, leaving for a whole weekend with friends without giving any news, dating and even screwing whoever they wanted, nothing was out of reach.

They only had one rule : honesty. Every friday night, they'd meet and spend the whole night together, talking, making out or just cuddling until they'd fall asleep, to make sure their love was preserved.

Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and seeing the person you love the most in the world be happy without you is something almost impossible to accept.

A story about angry tears, painful jealousy, sweet sweet revenge and realizing who your real soulmate is. Watch out, it's gonna hurt.

8- HOT MESS

*MAIN GIRL* has always been a bit of a rebel who didn't really care about much. She just enjoyed life the way she wanted to and never really paid attention to anything else. If she wanted something, she did everything she could to get it, no matter who she'd hurt in the process. After a few years away from her hometown, family and friends, she finally comes back to realize that a lot of things have changed. Jumping in her twin brother Liam's life without being invited, she's about to make a mess of everything he had made so much effort to build by flirting with every single one of his friends without any shame. She's not looking for a relationship, she's just looking to have some fun and break a few hearts... but perhaps, she's about to make a mess of her own heart.

Sometimes, you play the game and some other very rare times, the game plays you.

9- 15 Complicated Rules

I have no idea how I got into this mess but somehow, I ended up with 4 different fuck buddies. I thought I was going crazy until I made a strict schedule of the days and time I would see them, and wrote down a few rules I had to respect myself. A useful guide to manege my 4 fuck friends. Monday for my ex boyfriend, tuesday for my co-worker, wednesday for my old best friend and thursday for a family friend. It could work, right?

I've never been much of an organised person but I honestly thought I could make this work. Everything went as planned for a few months until I broke one rule after the other. That's when I knew I was in deep shit. These are my 15 complicated rules to have fuck buddies. And this is the story of my downfall and the incredible mess I put myself into. After all, rule 15 was 'Never Fall In Love' and I guess that's something I couldn't control, even if I wanted to.

10- DISCONNECTED

When *MAIN GIRL* switches college to finally follow her dreams, she was ready to face anything and everything that would come her way. After all, she had been through so much already, right? The problem was, she didn't expect to be stuck in a room with someone who gets on her last nerves because of a paperwork mistake. Despite trying to find an other place to live or spend her time talking to the administration, she had to face the fact that this situation wouldn't change for a few months. Niall knew how to piss her off and he clearly abused that superpower, doing anything and everything he can to annoy the most pretentious and stuck-up person he had ever met. Perhaps fate is having a good laugh, because they seem to get stuck together way more often than not, but it's not until they let down their defense that they will see who the other really is... if that ever happens.

Apparently, some people are in your life to teach you something and make you grow. Perhaps, if you take the time to listen to them and open up to them, your karmic soulmate can turn into your twin flame... or not.

11- NEW ANGEL

When *MAIN GIRL 1* breaks up with Niall, he takes it harder than he thought he would, realizing in the process all the feelings he had for her. After a few weeks locked by himself in his room, his friends take him out on a crazy night and he decides he needs someone else, if only to get over the girl he loves. That’s when he meets *MAIN GIRL 2* and bring her back home.  However, on the next morning, he realizes he doesn't want her to leave, and that despite the feelings he has for *main girl 1*, he could definitely develop something with *main girl 2*. Everything is going amazingly well for a few weeks until what Niall never thought would happen actually happens : *main girl 1* calls him to tell him she regrets leaving him. Now confused and stressed, Niall is going to have to make a choice between the girl he thought he'd spend his life with, and a girl he just met that makes his heart race. And he's going to get help on his journey from someone he would never have thought of.

A story about making choices, creating connections, messy hearts and confusing emotions.

(i have many ideas for this one but i dont want to give everything away!)

[astrochiron]

the signs :: blond(e) // frank ocean

Aries- Solo (Reprise)

“After 20 years in, I'm so naïve I was under the impression

That everyone wrote they own verses

It's comin' back different and, yeah, that shit hurts me [...}

Was I working just way too hard?”

This is definitely a question any Aries has asked themselves before. They tend to work for work’s sake and often don't take the time to cherish in their accomplishments and, like Andre is referring to, they often don't pay attention to their peers when doing their own thing.

“So low that I am no rookie but feel like a kid

Lookin' at the other kids”

Aries, while independent and fiery, is still the first sign of the zodiac. The rookie, the novice, and kid can all be associated with his sign. Andre is equating himself to a beginner because he’s not certain if the music work works the way he thought it did when he first started.

Overall

The song represents the independence of Aries, even as simply as the name of the song being “Solo”. Andre’s personal offense to the way the rap game has changed exhibits an Aries’ stubbornness, not usually talked about; Aries aren't noted for their evolutions. The song also reflects on his hard work.

Taurus- Futura Free

“I'd say long as I could fuck three times a day

And not skip a meal, I'm good”

Must I explain? Why not: Tauruses love food, sex, and money; things that bring physical pleasure. Frank wants these daily and on a good schedule.

“I ain't on your schedule

I ain't on no schedule

I ain't had me a job since 2009

I ain't on no sales floor”

Taurus is known for doing things on their own time and with their own energy. Frank is asserting his financial independence as well as his freedom to do what the wants, when he wants, how he wants; and still make money: a Taurean dream.

Overall

Frank can now use his natural talent to financially support himself. Taurus rules our natural gifts as well as our finances and it just so happens that Frank’s former supports his latter. As for tone, he begins to cuss a lot about midway in the song, obviously venting his frustrations with people’s attitudes toward his success.

Gemini- Skyline To

“It begins to blur, we get older (Blur!)

Summer's not as long as it used to be

Everyday counts like crazy (Smoke, haze)”

Gemini is associated with youth and the flightiness of its ruling planet, Mercury. This verse captures that youth and the carefree spirit of a Gemini, as well as the changeable spirit of Mercury.

“This is joy, this is summer

Keep alive, stay alive”

This line captures the dichotomy of summer in Frank’s world; fun and deadly. While kids are off of school and the vibe is more laid back, the summer leads to spikes in deaths, especially in the urban Black community. Gemini can understand and embody both the dire and joyous sides to this topic, as well as most topics.

Overall

This song seems to be an exercise in steam of consciousness. It can be interpreted as the mental happenings during sex: observations about their surroundings, scatterbrained feelings and disconnected ideas. Frank is known for this but this song is heavy on wordplay, a Gemini's wet dream.

Cancer- Ivy

“When we both know that deep down

The feeling still deep down is good”

This represents the memory-based experience of a Cancer. They tend to experience their memories vividly and may live in them sometimes. Even if the relationship went bad, Frank still take solace in the feelings the memories give him.

“If I could see through walls, I could see you're faking

If you could see my thoughts, you would see our faces”

Cancers are very perceptive and, as such are able to see through he emotional barriers people place around themselves. Frank was saying if he cared to look through the other guy’s walls it’d be obvious that he was faking the love he felt. If the other guy cared to look behind his walls, he would have seen just how much he liked the other guy.

Overall

This is a very reflective, memory-oriented song. It’s bad reflection though, like things he should have done better in the relationship. All the Cancers I know love to stew in the memories of their past mistakes and brood. I believe Ivy is Frank’s song to stew to.

Leo- Godspeed

“I will always love you how I do”

Leos have very big hearts and the sign is even associated with the heart. Their love is powerful and maybe even eternal. It also demonstrates the individuality of a Leo’s expression. Frank will always love the subject, just in his own way. 

“I let go of my claim on you

It's a free world”

While Leos are often looked at as fun, joyous, and creative, it is often forgotten that they are one of the more possessive and intense signs. Frank once held a claim on this person, whether verbal or emotional, that he is now letting go.

Overall

Leos love to love. Leo rules the fifth house which includes falling in love and I think Godspeed demonstrates the most innocent (Leo) love; the unconditional variety. The song itself (see Genius) is Frank talking to himself as a child and Leo rules our own inner-child.

Virgo- Pink + White 

“Glory from above

Regard, my dear

It's all downhill from here”

This reflects the rather cynical view Virgos have. In his mind, the relationship has reached perfection, an important ideal for Virgos, and, as such, its only downhill from here.

“That's the way every day goes

Every time we've no control”

Another tenet for Virgos; constant and tenuous work. Virgos often may feel as if they are slaves to their sense of duty, playing the same routine daily.

Overall

Beyoncé provided backing vocals and Michael Jackson was mentioned; both of them prolific Virgo artists. The song also gives me “pure” vibes with Beyoncé’s vocals

Libra- Close to You

“I'll be honest, I wasn't devastated

But you could've held my hands through this, baby”

While Libra’s are associated with relationships, they truly just enjoy reciprocity and for someone to return their energy. For Frank, the break up didn't devastate him, as Libras are actually usually nonplussed. Frank probably did feel a little sad though, and was disappointed that the other person didn't seem to care at all.

“Just like mine, versions of these belong to you

After a while, they're keeping me close to you”

Much like Cancer, I find Libras sometimes let their memories of someone overtake the things that actually happened. Either way, their memories are all they have now and they are the only people who have them; very one-on-one and personal.

Overall

The song reflects on a relationship once it's over. It explores how the perceptions of the lover are brought up as subjective memories that you hold onto post-break up; Libras are big on perceptions. The whole song is a cover of a very love-oriented song “Close to You” by Stevie Wonder (A Taurus with a Libra Ascendant).

Scorpio- Nights

“Although you got beaucoup family

You don't even got nobody being honest with you

[...]

I don't trust 'em anyways

You can't break the law with them”

These lines suggest a deep level of mistrust, even amongst family and close friends. No on his being honest with the person in question and honesty (especially self-honesty) is a very important tenet for Scorpios.

“Did you call me from a séance?

You are from my past life

Hope you're doing well bruh”

Pluto rules Scorpio and both are associated with death. Though Frank is talking about someone being “dead to him”, it still evokes the same finality. Scorpios are very cut-and-dry when it comes to relationships, especially if someone has proven untrustworthy or non-loyal.

Overall

The vibe of the song reminded me of meeting a Scorpio. It starts off as a rap song with a wall up and with a point to make, but then turns into a vulnerable slow r&b track. This exhibits the evolution A Scorpio is known for.

Sagittarius- Solo

“We too loud in public, them police turned down the function

Now we outside and the timing's perfect

Forgot to tell you, gotta tell you how much I vibe with you

And we don't gotta be solo”

This whole mini-stanza makes me picture a Sagittarius and his potential love interest leaving a club at 3 am, likely high on some upper, and he’s spouting a whole bunch of romantic shit he doesn't mean and is talking loud and optimistically because he’s drunk. I clearly see this.

“It's hell on Earth and the city's on fire

Inhale, in hell there's heaven”

Though typically associated with Pisces, escapism is a scourge that plagues Sagittarius too. where Pisces may use drugs to mask pain and numb sensitivity, Sag uses drugs to escape reality when their optimistic views don't match the world around them. When you inhale, even in hell, you'll find heaven.

Overall

This song is big on loneliness just like “Solo (Reprise)”. In my opinion, Sag is the loneliest sign. Theres independent Aries and above-all Capricorn, but Sag is the lone thinker and the solo philosopher; their own ideas and problems keeping them company as the world shifts around them. Frank goes on a trip to his lover's city and is metaphorically and literally escaping being “solo” in number as well as "so low" in emotion.

Capricorn- Nikes

“These bitches want Nikes

They looking for a check

Tell 'em it ain’t likely”

Yes, Capricorns are money oriented, but that's not what I'm referring to here. Capricorn is the father of the zodiac ands s such, it places a certain level of responsibility on herself, allowing others to dot he same too. These people (likely groupies) are looking for Frank to buy them real Nikes and other lavish things but he isn't their father; it’s not looking likely. 

“We'll let you guys prophesy

We gon' see the future first”

The future is the most important thing to a Capricorn. Frank is saying that he’s gonna let the people around him hem and haw about the future while he is going to grab it by the horns and make his own. Caps really like control and really like being in the know so Frank would prefer to make the future instead of prophesying about how it may be.

Overall

This track concerns searching for fame and money without finding worth and meaning in it. The groupies, worries, and expectations are trying to bring you down. He also talks about how he is in control of his own music and destiny.

Aquarius- Self Control

“I came to visit, 'cause you see me like a UFO

That's like never, 'cause I made you use your self-control”

UFOs are definitely Aquarian territory. That aside, this line shows that the two of them were slowly falling apart. There seems to be a level of isolation in the relationship as well as a disconnection. Aquarians are quite literally living in their own world and, if you've not been granted access, you can't expect to form or nurture any connections. 

“Sometimes you'll miss it

And the sound will make you cry

And some nights you're dancing

With tears in your eyes”

This bridge reminds me of the emotional constraint that Aquarians place on themselves. Something as general as a familiar sound can make them cry because the wound of the relationship was never healed. Other times, you’re going to be fighting the sadness so hard, that even when you’re having fun, you can't get away from your actual feelings.

Overall

He wrote this song about a relationship where he and his partner were in different places in their lives. “It was mutual, it was just we couldn’t really relate. We weren’t really on the same wavelength," Frank said. Aquarians are rarely on the same wavelength as their peers and this is often the case of friction in their relationships.

Pisces- Seigfried

“Dreaming a thought that could dream about a thought That could think of the dreamer that thought That could think of dreaming and getting a glimmer of God I be dreaming of dreaming a thought That could dream about a thought That could think of dreaming a dream Where I cannot, where I cannot”

Let me know if I need to explain this at all because... wow.

“(In the dark)

I'd do anything for you

(In the dark)

I'd do anything for you”

This part of the song is repeated like a mantra and it exhibits the propensity of Pisces to give their all to those they care about. The “in the dark” line exemplifies the hidden and secret aspect of Pisces. When you have a Pisces in your corner, thy will literally do whatever for you and they’d prefer you give them no recognition. In fact, they may do little nice things fro you in secret, preferring to be a quiet benefactor.

Overall

This is another break-up song and Pisces is associated with the end of things. Additionally, nirvana (the state of hyper consciousness and spiritual connection with the Universe) is mentioned, which is Piscean. The whole vibe of the song Is dream like and, as mentioned above, many of the lyrics are associated with dreams, being asleep, and connections with God.

check your moon sign (for the song that makes you comfortable and puts you in your emotions), sun sign (the song that makes you happy and the one you ride around to) and venus sign (the one that speaks to your inner artist). the whole album is a no-skip™ for me. treat yo self.

[oddishfeeling]

do you ever have moments where you feel really disconnected from everyone? like I don’t mind reaching out to people first for connection but sometimes I feel like the one who puts in more effort and that hurts me and makes me want to disconnect from people. what do you think abt this?

yessss tbh most times i feel disconnected because i feel like 85% of the time no one knows what im talking about and no one is laughing at my jokes lol it definitely makes me want to hide away forever. but usually the people whose attention we are vying for, the ones denying us it, are hardly worth that effort. we jus have to make boundaries n learn that the hard way. isolation isnt bad in moderation, sometimes we need to be alone n when ppl just dont seem to “get it” thats usually a good time to reflect. sometimes other people need to be alone when we are looking for connection & vice versa. & u can always decide if someones lack of availability is personal to you or not. feeling disconnected for me, is exasperated by these feelings of being misunderstood. not so much that i feel forgotten about or like the people in my life dont want me around.

if they are true friends and u are going to them in ur time of need n they aren’t responding or reacting the way u need, thats one thing. n if u are consistently being made to feel like a nuisance, they simply aren’t ur friends or as reliable as u thought they could be. n im sorry but i also know theres a lot of opportunities for connection. they may not all be in our timing but i promise u havent missed the chance to have genuine connection w people who love n care about u, without question

[kosmicdream]

Hi I’m Kosmic. I draw webcomics and my webcomics are really long sprawling huge cast ones that will go on for years and they’re non linear and all this stuff that makes ppls heads spin when they try to explain wtf they’re about. I ask myself this question a lot: How the fuck do I maintain this motivation for continuing projects that are honestly, probably bigger than i can possibly feasibly create??? How do i avoid swallowed up by anxiety of my own creations???? is that energy going to run out at any time? should i be worried?? Well! For some reason I... don’t? like i get winded sometimes but in the end, I actually quite like what i do and I don’t care that it takes literally years to make my stories. but when I step back and look at it objectively it does make me scratch my head and wonder how i came to be in this situation. So, sometimes i  try and write a few things that help me with understanding my own process, for whatever reason. Or at least I’ll TRY to articulate some of the things i seem to tell myself again and again that help me feel very comfortable with my writing/creating process. So if you want an insight into tips that i give myself.. this is that! 

TIP #1 - Everything you Plan will take longer than you planned, but you can make it easier by unexpectedly including information you might have otherwise withheld.

Secrets are cool in your stories. I have so many of them, but I also understand that they’re much more fun to share than to always keep locked up and out of knowledge. I often overshare to the point where ‘info dumping’ happens which is often considered an unattractive quality in comics. But IDM it so much because my comics just need to be drawn and you can’t glorify and hold every flaw over your shoulders when in the end its not going to be that big of a deal. I think its better to give out more information than finding reasons to bend around a story to avoid revealing things. I feel it might even be more obvious if you attempt to do that.

Also, I feel that everything planned in a story can happen quite quickly, and feel much shorter than actually drawing it. Even with the experience ive gained, i still am surprised just by how much i must throw out to make my long scenes shorter and snappier. even then, they are still really long scenes. I don’t mind doing this, I like to make my stories this way- but ive also designed my comic to serve this pace by making my pages less intensive physically to make. I’m not going to go in depth about this as ive already discussed this many times before, but I do think its important to understand that generally, a commitment to a comic is going to be bigger and longer than it appears in your mind or even on paper as a script or thumbnails.

(my comic eggshells, for example, was originally going to be 340ish pages long. but back then, my pacing was much different-- and my pages were generally twice as wide with around 15 panels per page..sometimes more. but i would over-render and make them hard to read, and now i draw very few panels per page and my comics are much ‘longer’ in page count.)

TIP #2

-Accept that your ideas are bigger than what you can draw and enjoy the private context and history of your work without feeling like its less accomplished for not being all out there. Validate yourself but also understand that your readers are not going to understand the depth from your perspective and they will be engaging with the view they’ve been exposed to.

This is kind of a complicated one but I think that its both humbling to accept your work as this multi layered experiences of contradicting perspectives.. theres the planning and your engagement with the goals, the work of translating your creation to others and the vulnerable exposure of these ideas to the audience. As the creator, you get to see things in a very unique way that no one else can but... the one feeling you will never get to see is the audience who has no idea what will happen next. You can anticipate it, but in the end its so vast and unpredictable that it will be impossible to judge what they ALL will FEEL and sometimes? their perceptions can alter your own enjoyment of your work. I guarantee it will change it in SOME way.. that’s part of the sacrifice.

TIP #3

-Allowing change, flexibility and growth into your series- and letting go of control over all facets of it.

As time goes on things just change. Its hard to accommodate or prepare for that kind of investment in your work when you feel like you havent even gotten through the starting gates of your story. Comics are particularly difficult for that because once you draw a thing, it takes time to edit and you cant really undo and go back. Each panel informs and builds on the next. You have to use what’s there and figure out how it can be a structure for the future.

Accepting the past that has helped create the situation and platform of your comic in the present, which will lead into the future. Personally, i’m not a fan of retconing* certain decisions that have been already made into the canon-- however, i think if a new conclusion or idea is discovered in the process of writing and it works to include because it creates a new and alive energy in the work that will help push it to the next stage.. i think that’s very helpful and useful for sustaining the growth and motivation in a story. Making choices like this can be tricky, however, but even small ones can give a lot of natural growth and flexibility in the comic. The problem can often come with letting go of that unseen, unrealized version we had intended. I know for myself, i can get very nostalgically attached to old ideas but-- if i think of something better that works or makes more sense, I’m always thankful to let go and let my stories grow into a better thing. I try to remember where it came from, however. Because that helps inform me where to go.

(*generally my definition for this is altering events of the past, certain core plans of the comic, character motivations, or facts that are connected to the worldbuilding. im kind of a hoarder so once its in the story aka on a specific page-- its not going anywhere. until then things can be up in the air. for example, the characters knife and spoon were not originally intended to be mutually in love and it was more of a one sided idol worship, but as i fleshed their characters out i realized that it was mutual and it changed and altered the story because of that. now it cannot/will not be “undone” for whatever reason bc this is.. an established fact in the story. but at one point, it was not! i hope that makes sense.)

SO TO SUMMARIZE... plans will always be “”bigger”” in the ever expansive space of your mind so also dont be afraid to get to the point sometimes even if it feels a little, like. less exciting than you thought? accept your story is going to be different for YOU vrs your audience and make peace with that disconnect even tho its disorienting + upsetting sometimes & accommodate the ~natural personal and artistic growth~ you will experience and let go of things that might be holding you or your work back from improving with you. but also dont try to cut out too much of the past because.. it is what helped you get to where you are right now? focus on the present & allow growth for the future, dont try to alter the past and pretend it didnt happen. bc that will be confusing as fuck for everyone involved and also probably hurt the story more than help it. esp if its a long one. ur building a tower dont pull out too many foundational blocks and try to make it too much of something else unless its growing there on its own.. u kno? 

When I try to write these tips these are just things I find myself doing in a cycle as i create that seem to keep re igniting my passion for my story again and again. It makes me curious because it also is a very instinctual thing so I thought I might try and write it out!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY.

ALSO some bonus thoughts!!!!!!!!!! I will say that I’ve never completed a long format comic series, so take it w/ a grain of salt imo. HOWEVER...I probably will, eventually. Even if I don’t, I do enjoy writing really big ones and I feel very happy with the work i do on them! and still feel no inclination to move onto other things. Or even when I work on other things, I don’t have a feeling of dropping a story entirely. (for example, i still intend to work on my older series eggshells and don’t really feel a desire to ‘quit’ that story even when i have matured as an author/artist since starting it.)

When I read really long comic series I wonder a lot of internal decisions that happen out of sight, since the timeline of a comic that you read is so much different than the timeline it takes actually creating the thing. its so easy to write/plan/form ideas for lifetimes of work that will never be realized, so what is it that we actually get in the pages? What aspects of this author are we actually seeing? how much have they grown since beginning and what about the story we will never know? I know I’ll never know, because, I am only the reader! And as the creator, I will never know what the feeling of my work as the reader. or the cool and interesting things they predict will happen based on their perseptions, which are so different from mine. Yet!! we are all engaged in the same story unfolding, never fully discovering what its like on the other side but only getting little glimpses and thats fascinating how a story is almost this vast illusion of experiences maintained by so many different minds. 

Long format comics captivate me because they are just, really time consuming to make and the pacing of them are so different and less consumable than other stories. They like become.. this place you live in! Why are they my favorite to enjoy even when its natural that, when a story becomes longer, its going to end up attracting more & more issues? Why do i Not care about resolutions to long stories sometimes bc my expectations for them are different?? (also lets face it, experience writing long stories is going to be different than writing short ones because it takes time to write longer things & we are not going to have as much experienc having more than one completed super long multi-act-multi-characterplot story vrs a bunch of smaller ones. it doesnt mean its EASIER to write shorter ones, if anything id argue its probably much harder to write good short things + isolate a story down to that focused vision than making tons of long ones that avoid endings) but..yet!! here i am...

why am i constantly drawn to trying to understand long format stories when I probably could improve faster by writing shorter things??! i dont really know! but i follow my heart and my heart likes to do things this way......

anyway, this entire post is mostly inspired by the fact that many of my favorite stories started before i was even born or have been going on for decades and i wonder if we’ll ever read the endings to many of them.... would it.. matter? they’ve already inspired me so much even without a resolution because i can imagine my own endings to things.. but in the end that is not what happened in the actual story. it was only in my mind.. and yet it never happened, and was an illusion unknown to anyone but myself.....and sometimes my favorite stories are my favorites because of the things i imagined them to be, rather than what they actually were or how they actually turned out.. i dont know how this happens..... but i wonder about what this means with my OWN comics, and how my perceptions of what they could be vrs what they are is like, this weird illusion that also exists only in my mind and no one else can see it. yet we are both looking at the same thing. and i want to know what others see and i never will get to??? ....stories are......... so fucking spooky!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! ok thats all. thx for reading

[atlasoftripp]

I saw your response to my ask for asy and I wanted to say thanks for the info!! if it's okay to ask you, I was also considering just having her being forced to keep her hands in fire for x amount of time bc of creepy worldbuilding reasons but I'm not sure if maybe straight up fire would be too severe? my main concern is since the character suffers the burns over an extended period of time (abt 2 years) how it would affect her day to day life, like the use of her hands, random pain, etc.?

directly in fire is definitely gonna be in like...2nd and 3rd degree category. like, a lighter has a hot enough flame despite being tiny and rather controlled that approx 15 to 30 seconds in direct contact would be a burn resulting in a thick scab that would take about 2 to 3 weeks to heal and even then leave like...decent scarring that feels “thick” and “deep” like the scar is a ball of tissue extending into the dermis 

during that time...those scabs “flare up” where they sometimes feel randomly hot. like youre washing your hands in too hot of water. it aches and dully throbs. but cold sucks too. basically the wounds are incredibly vulnerable to changes in temp. theres no protection. little bumps like slamming your hands on the table cuz youre frustrated but you forgot would be like a sudden hot agony. like you were burning them all over again. thats a thing i would mention. burns are weird. cuz ive had surgery for like a torn tendon. and post surgery it hurts to move the cut open area, but its more like an echo of pain. you can feel it hurting less and less. but with my burns down my arms (they’re pretty extensive) when they were healing bumping them wasnt like..an echo of pain, it was the real thing all over. it was like they were just happening. now that could have a psychological element. you dont remember surgery, so you dont really have a gauge for the initial pain. but with accident or,,,more sinister ways of acquiring burns, you’ll know the initial agony....

uhhh getting back to what you asked. how it feels to live with it. uhhh lets see. what people dont know. is even about 10 years after the initial...incident...that burned up my arms...i have to be careful with the “healed” skin. they left thick sections of scars that are...a deep purple pink for me (and im asian so i have a bit of a darker undertone to my skin) that i believe are called “keloids” and in winter i have to oil them. which sounds weird. but they “pull away” from my regular skin sometime leaving like...cracks and bleedy spots. and in summer if they sunburn it hurts so bad. basically even 10yrs healed...its not very healed..

its like i have seams everywhere...and if i do too much it’ll all tear apart again. sometimes stretching hurts cuz keloids dont stretch much. and man, on hot days. they flare up. like sticking it under too hot shower water. the nerve endings are all blaring a pain alarm and everything throbs. for the hands. full extension of the fingers can be hard if thats where youre putting the burns, cuz like.realistically. a lot of shrinkage happened during healing and again its like..pulling on those seams. it can tear and bleed and hurt. that person will develop over time a pretty serious ritual for care...or they’ll end up with very little fine motor function.  its like...you gotta convince the keloid skin to be...regular skin

i get a lot of random pain. mostly a weird phantom heat, or like a pins and needles thing. keloids hurt when they build up in your skin too, because there is not as much elasticity in the skin everything kinda fulls tight and pulling and like nothing is connected right. i also have a lot of nerve damage. which. you would think means it doesnt hurt as much...but instead means sometimes your nerves are going haywire and perceiving pain when there is none. it feels like a more intense kind of pins and needles then when your leg falls asleep...

massage is a must if fine motor skills are gonna be kept. it helps...somehow...convince the thick keloid skin to like...i dunno settle down and be normal a bit and stretch and be a little more integrated. 

but while it feels like the nerves are super sensitive...its also somehow the opposite. i get these phantomy pins and needles..but ive also had someone timidly tap my shoulder where a thick section of healed burn was...and i didnt feel it at all. so i guess...depending on how bad the burn is tactile perception may be gone. i tend to drop stuff im holding in my left hand a lot cuz i dont really perceive the tactile sensation of being in contact with the object im holding. i just hold stuff my muscle memory or something i guess...i dunno theres a bit of a disconnect there

uh lets see...what else? i dunno. feel free to ask more questions i just kinda rambled

edit: im realizing theres a lot more info i can give about this. like. the way they heal? sometimes the area is too large, so it CANT scab all the way. and you end up with like scabbing as you know it in a ring around the edge. and then the center is just...raw and open still. like. this kinda info can get gross 

[the-little-red-noodle]

3/29/17 7:42 pm

Sunday night, the 26th, i had the most traumatic experience of my life. As far as i know, ryan and i ate edibles, and I hallucinated and freaked out. Now im not sure where i am. We were going to the panic at the disco concert in san diego. We decided it would be fun to try edibles beforehand so we could have fun and be dancey during the show. We got hooked up with one of his friends and went to our hotel near the stadium. It was around 7:00 when we started eating from a 250 milligram edible cookie. Korova i think? We finished the entire thing but i think i had more. At least 150 mgs to myself. It wasnt hitting yet until we ubered to the arena. We were standing in line when i started to feel it. I was feeling giggly and started having trouble walking. I was mildly nervous that we wouldnt get in the stadium. We kept walking. I was laughing a lot and hanging on ryan. We got into the arena after trouble with the stairs. They checked our tickets. We were walking left towards section R. Then i remember walking down the stairs towards the 5th row. I remember feeling excited and kept saying "baby look how close we are!" Eventually we got to our seats and sat down. We were so close and saint motel was starting to play. Then everything started to go wrong. I was noticing that the high was too much. I remember leaning over to ryan and saying "this was such a mistake" and "im so sorry" and "are you okay". The bass from the music throbbed through my body in a really uncomfortable way. But i wasnt scared of hallucinating, just that i was too high and wanted to throw up and get water. At one point i remember the woman next to me ask "who is playing?" And i said saint motel and she said "no, whos playing now?" And i kinda stared at her for a bit and said i dont know. I was becoming dizzy as the high was nearing the peak. The room blurred together and i tried to stay calm. I remember being able to clap when songs were done and wave my arms with the crowd. A couple times i whispered to ryan that the lead singer of saint motel looked like an Australian from the crocodile hunter. The noise was very loud and at one point i managed to get into my purse and put one ear plug in my left ear, which was closer to the amp. I sat plainly while my whole world started changing. The thing that triggered my bad trip was the singer from saint motel saying something like whos ready for panic at the disco? I froze and asked ryan did they say misterwives? He said no i dont think so. Then i started getting panicked that misterwives wouldnt be playing because i was excited to see them again with ryan. I started frantically trying to figure out if they were here or not, and checked the tickets with no luck. This made me feel terrified that the show we were attending wouldnt have the band he wanted to see. Then i remember looking around the stadium and feeling confused. I started to forget things like where we were, why we were there, who we were, and the people around us. I became terrified and uncomfortable. I remember my vision changing and the whole world becoming more geometric. The singer from saint motels face became a plain triangle as he moved around (kinda looked like phineus and pherb.) and then i started to forget ryan. His face became a plain oval with his features, i think his freckles disappeared. I was dizzy searching the room for something familiar and coming up empty handed, began to scream. I have this awful memory that keeps coming back of my looking at ryan and around the room and just screaming. This hard terrified scream like nothing id ever produced or heard before. during this, what id consider a panic attack, i felt my memories dissipating. I forgot who i was; my name, face, personality, anything. The image of myself also changed in this hallucination to be more geometric and didnt resemble a person. I questioned reality, and what i was, or how i was cognizant. I questioned who ryan was and where i was and what was happening to me. I remember staring at him for what felt like hours trying to remember him and what was happening. I remember saying "youre ryan, right?" And he said yes and that he loved me and was trying to calm me down but i was shaking my head and then i fell into a screaming fit again and pushed him away but also cowered in his lap. I just feel haunted by the sound of me screaming out of such terror, and that i forgot everything that made up my reality. I have a couple memories of asking ryan who i was and what i looked like and as he described me (red hair, green eyes etc) i tried building my face in my head. I looked at several things around the room that were becoming constant again, like the writing on the saint motel poster and the flowers on my pants and ryans face. I dont remember much about coming out of hysteria except when saint motel ended. I remember the house lights being on in the arena and groups of people moving. I watched the group next to us like the boy in the green sweater and the women with leather pants and blonde hair. I was actively trying to ground myself in this reality even though i wasnt sure it was real. Part of me felt and still kind of feels that the trip was like traveling through dimensions and i just stopped here for some reason and had to make the most of it to survive because the screaming fit was more painful than just being uncomfortable in my skin. At some point i turned to ryan and said we need to get water. Then he was walking up the steps and out of my view. I looked around me at the faces of people seated near me and tried to figure out if all this was in my head or if i really did scream like that. Eventually he got back with water and i drank and ate some of a power bar from my purse. I wasnt getting better, but i had some know-how that eating and drinking would help. We did this for a while and then i said we need to go to the hospital and he said ok and walked away again, this time lower to a guy in red and then off to the right, away from the stage. I watched him go and got confused but was restraining myself from freaking out again. I thought i might as well see how this goes for now because my only other option was falling through the dimensions and screaming again. Eventually he came back and said we had to uber (i later found out that he went to a paramedic and they just told him to uber) so he said we had to go outside. He was sitting next to me holding my bag and i stared at my pants for a long time and felt like i was pulling the universe closer to me, like pulling in reality, sucking it up so i could walk. I gathered myself enough to stand and say excuse me as i passed the people next to us. I remember gripping the railing but not really climbing stairs. And then next thing i remember is being on my hands and knees on the sidewalk outside the arena throwing up. I held my hair and so did ryan and then he was throwing up too. A girl asked if we were okay and some guy gave us a water bottle. I dont remember getting up but i remember walking through grass to a street where an uber picked us up and took us to the hotel. The next thing i remember is throwing up in the hotel bathroom. We took a shower and layed on the bed. I watched ryan sleep because he twitched a couple times and it scared me. I dont remember much else but driving home and then being in my room. I had another panic attack yesterday (28th) when i woke up from a xanex nap and then was crying and started screaming and i told ryan to get my mom who sat me on the floor and comforted me. I feel really disconnected from reality. Since the experience i feel like i know logically what happened (ate edible, bad trip, hallucinations, and now just being shaken up) but theres also this voice telling me that none of this is real and that i dont feel 100% comfortable or familiar with anything. Sometimes i have moments of clarity like the first night back at home (27th) when my mom, richard, and shane were in the room with ryan and i and everyone was talking and laughing and i felt calmer. I had a xanex before bed each night and an extra one yesterday after i had the panic attack I just feel really disconnected. I feel like i dont know what reality is or who i am or any of these people or anything and its terrifying. Im scared that i wont get back to normal and that i just have to adjust. I feel like i ruined my life with this one mistake. I dont know what to do but the panic makes me scared for myself. Scared i could hurt myself or even kill myself. I feel like i just want all this to stop so thats where my mind goes. Feeling panicked and anxious and afraid and dissociative and unfamiliar. Feels like the definition of psychosis minus the more schizophrenic stuff (no voices, no fbi stuff). Scared i will never be the same again

[and-the-times-we-had]

Ok, I get it. Your interpretation of the moffat era is that it is dark in contrast to series 11's light. Fine. But I don't agree that Moffat's era lacked the balance of light and dark within itself. Forget comparing it to other eras. I found both light and dark within it. That's my point. There is hope and light to be found in the dark. It is, to me, more cathartic and rewarding to find light in the dark than to just have it handed to me from the outset.

It took me a long time (like...2/3rds of his time on the show long) to appreciate both Capaldi's interpretation of the doctor and 12's character arc. But at the end of it, it was probably one the things I've enjoyed most about doctor who as a whole. Because 12 had to work so hard to figure out who he wanted to be as the doctor amongst so much tragedy. That is a meaningful and rewarding story to me. I find the overall hope and call towards being kind that 12's arc was all about more rewarding than just watching the doctor and friends bounce around on a fun adventure. That's not to say theres no merit to fun adventures and I enjoy them too. But they're not the only stories that I find hope and happiness in.

And those types of stories were clearly not what moffat was interested in writing. He was writing about damaged characters and giving them arcs that didn't necessarily fix the things that hurt them, but allowed them to grow and continue after them.

River's arc, for example, was about healing from the brain washing of her childhood and becoming more open to love. Amy's was about learning to trust others and grow into her own life after dealing with childhood abandonment issues.

Yes, there is definitely a surface level of darkness in the moffat era. I don't disagree, but to me, that is less important than the deeper underlying optimism that can be seen throughout moffat's time on the show ("everybody lives", although it matured more into "happily every after doesn't mean forever, it just means time"). I get that the surface level darkness might be offputting to people who really just want some light adventures. But that does not make moffat's era worse than the current one or the past one (not that you specifically are saying this but just on the whole I see this sometimes). It's just different.

Incidentally, I probably feel similarly about this season to what some people felt about moffat's seasons. Somewhat out of step. Disconnected. And not for lack of trying. And it's because the show is using a form of storytelling that just doesnt work for me. Like moffat's didn't work for them. Fun adventures are nice, but I want more substance behind them. I want to know what Yaz is thinking. What Ryan's opinion was on the ending of the Kerblam! episode since they made a point of mentioning how he has a warehouse job back home. And above all, I want the doctor and the companions to have a deep conversation. On the level we got with earlier companions (like Martha demanding the doctor tell her more about his home, or Bill asking whether the doctor had killed anyone before). They started to go that way from episodes 1-3 (especially the conversation after Grace's funeral) but then it's just not there. I want them to talk more about how they feel about the adventures they're on not just throw plot exposition at me.

I want more character connections. And I'm willing to wait to get them. Who knows? Maybe season 12 will give me what I wish for. It's not the first time I've felt disconnected (as I said, it took two seasons for capaldi to click with me).

I think some of you have misinterpreted what Season 11 was…..

1. The tone was never meant to be dark and brooding

Look back at all the promotional artwork, look at the trailers. This was meant to be a fresh start. A New Doctor, new adventures - something POSITIVE. If any of you think a good season of Doctor Who has to always involve The Doctor screaming, crying, and deaths left right and centre, you’re mistaken.

2. The Doctor is happier

Again, why are people complaining about this? Once again I have to take you all back to the ending of the 12th Doctor. Once he accepted the regeneration, he WOULD NOT LEAVE, until he made damn sure that his next incarnation was looked after. He wanted to start them off on the right path, a path he never had the chance to take. “Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind” He cared THAT MUCH and if he knew what she was doing, he’d be so proud of her.

3. It’s possible viewers wanted a more positive tone

Season 10 (last season of Peter Capaldi) had very low ratings. Now I cannot say for sure why, this is purely a theory; but what IF people were getting sick of the dark plot lines and convoluted story arcs? We had years of it, perhaps people needed a break from it?

Perhaps the reason Season 11’s was so high, was because it was something the majority of viewers were looking for? I’m sure that future seasons may get darker again, but wasn’t it good to just watch The Doctor and her companions having FUN? Wasn’t it a breath of fresh air?

I understand this season was not for everyone, but I think people need to give it a chance and try to understand what it was trying to do.