#but there are people who choose to be good

[puppiesareperfect]

Book binding 101: Materials

I’ve decided to do a series of posts on how to book-bind since I talk about it a lot, and I think it’s a really fun process. This post will include various inexpensive alternatives to “professional” supplies, many of which you will have at home. Not everyone can afford a cricut and that’s ok! I will also be listing more expensive materials for people who want to invest a bit more into the craft, but they absolutely are not a must.

This first post will focus on a list of supplies you can use to make books, but will not yet get into the instructional part of it. That will come later!

Anyway…

Bookbinding Materials: Essentials

These are items you need to bind, but many you can find around your house!

Sewing thread: Any thread will work for bookbinding, though waxed threads can help reduce tangles. You can also double up thread as another way to prevent tangling if you so choose. Waxed thread is definitely more expensive, so it can be good to use what you have starting out. Here’s a link to the waxed thread I used for those that are interested. You can buy it in a lot of different colors! (White is good if want an “invisible” thread).

Sewing needle: A lot of people say to use a curved needle for binding, but I’ve never found it to be much different from using a regular needle. If you have one, I would recommend a larger needle, however, since it’s better for piercing through signatures (aka the stacks of pages you bind together). In other words: there’s no special needle you need to bind books.

Ruler: I’d recommend any metal ruler since it’s better to use as a straight edge for cutting. There’s a good chance you already have one. It’s just used for measuring and being a straight edge. Nothing fancy.

Paper: Any paper will work. What you wanna use depends on your project really: if you’re binding together a work of text you’ll want to use some kind of printer paper (of course). If you’re making a sketchbook, you can fold up some sketching paper. I like to get sketchbooks with perforated edges so I can tear them out easily if I want to use a blank page for bookbinding. You can also buy large sheets of paper made for any medium. For example, if you want a sheet of water color paper, just search “large watercolor paper sheet”.

Awl (or all alternative): An awl is a tool used to poke sewing holes. It’s nice because it’s sharp and ergonomic, but you can totally also use a pushpin or even a sewing needle.

Bone folder (or a bone folder alternative): A bone folder creates sharp creases when you fold your pages, making them lay flatter. It also helps define the hinge gap on finished books, making it open easier. You can use a ruler if you don’t have one.

PVA glue: PVA glue is what to look out for when it comes to binding glue. There are some designed specifically for bookbinding, which spread out a bit faster than ones that aren’t. You can also use tacky glue which IS a PVA glue.

Book board: Also sometimes called chip board, Davey board, or mat board. This is what you’ll use for hard cover books. It is important to use book board specially, as cardboard will warp. You can buy book board directly, or you can cut the covers off of old textbooks or binders, unwrap the paper/plastic around the board, and use that!

Box cutter or utility knife: for cutting the board

Decorative paper and book cloth: For wrapping around cover boards and for endpapers. Book cloth can also be used to cover boards. You can also draw your own designs on Bristol paper if you want (or any paper with a similar thickness/durability). When it comes to decorative paper I like to either get scrapbook paper or rolls of fancy handmade paper (you can get those on Etsy, through paper source, or through bookbinding websites).

Bookbinding materials: Optional (and not crazy expensive)

These are supplies that you don’t need for binding but that can make the process easier and/or help with the decorative elements of your books. I’d recommend these things for when you’ve been binding for a while and feel these things could be helpful!

Paper trimmer: can cut a few sheets of paper evenly—I find it really helpful for endpapers

Stencils: Super helpful if you want to add text on the covers

Stamps: Good for adding text and also great for adding illustrations if you’re not able to draw them on your own. You can buy ink pads for them or use markers by coloring over the stamp lightly and using the stamp immediately so it doesn’t dry (I’ve tested this with alcohol markers and it works very well)

Paint markers: great for drawing directly on the cover. Since they’re opaque they can imitate the look of vinyl. You can also get them super painterly if you want. The internet usually talks about poscas but there are tons of different brands. Do some research, figure out what you like & can afford.

Hot foil pen & heat transfer foil: Perfect if you want to add foil to your covers but don’t want to spend a ton of money on a cricut. A lot of binders uses the foil quill brand, but there are ones that cost less and work the same (I have both a cheaper one & an actual foil quill because I wanted some nib variation. As long as the pen has good reviews that aren’t from bots you should be good). Also remember: don’t use foil designed for going through laminators (I.e. decofoil) . It doesn’t work the same way.

Bookbinding Materials—Expensive

These are materials I’d recommend for people who have been bookbinding for a while & feel that it’s something they really want to invest in. To be fully transparent, I’m a college student and don’t own these and have little personal experience with them. However, I know a lot of binders who love them!

Cricut machine—Cricuts are cutting machines that can make precise cuts into paper, wood, bookboard, or vinyl. A lot of binders will cut designs out of vinyl and apply them to the covers using a heat press.

Book press—What it sounds like. The pressure helps the pages lay flat and stay even. That being said you can stack heavy books on top of your projects, it just may not have the same even pressure. I also know some people will DIY these, so if you’re skilled with power tools you can give it a go!

Paper guillotine—like a paper trimmer but bigger and can cut more sheets of paper at once. I believe really good ones can also be used to cut bookboard!

Those are all the materials I can think of! Hope this can work as a good starting point for those interested in the craft. I’ll definitely be posting more info about bookbinding for people who are interested :)

-Zoë💗

[geopsych]

Treasure hunt, finding things around you

Here's an assignment, only for anyone who feels like doing it. In the month ahead, by the start of February, find as many of these things as you can or choose to. Photos or not photos as you prefer. These aren't to be submitted to me but are just a kind of treasure hunt for you to write down or keep in a notes app. 1. Moss, as many kinds as you can find. 2. Lichen, 3 colors. This is fun because it can be on buildings and things like curbs, grave stones or monuments. 3. 3 or more kinds of birds, extra points for different types like songbirds vs. ducks and geese vs herons or other stalking birds. Yes, pigeons count. 4. 3 kinds of trees you can tell apart, evergreens or ones that are leafless now.

5. One beautiful sunrise or sunset. 6. If you're in a place that gets cold, 2 kinds of ice, like icicles and puddle ice would be 2 kinds for example. If you're not in a cold place then interesting water things like a puddle with oil colors in it or drops of dew on grass or a flower. 7. 3 kinds of weather. This one's easy. Maybe pictures of a sunny or partly cloudy sky and a dark cloudy sky and maybe a picture of trees or flags being blown by wind.

8. Any animals. They're things like Pokemon but in the real world. lol Yes squirrels count. Rats do too. 9. Stand in 3 kinds of places, for example by a stream or river, high on a hill—that can be in a city or in the country. Pittsburgh for example has some great hills. San Francisco too. If you're at Oberlin maybe you can find a pile of dirt haha—and third, maybe a public space like a plaza or a town circle or if you're in the country then just an especially nice spot along a road or trail. 10. Finally, look for any especially nice or beautiful scene around you, whether it's frost on a plant in the sunlight, a beautiful window you pass in the evening (taking pictures of people without permission especially through a window is rude so try to avoid that), ice on a car window or any scene or tiny thing that just catches your eye in a pleasing way. A beautiful tree, a beautiful sky, a cute cat, whatever.

And of course if you find cool or interesting stuff not mentioned here, that's extra credit. :-) If you see something really good you can tell me about it and if you feel like letting me know how it went at the end I would be interested to hear from you. I know some of you already look for this stuff. Take this as a little extra encouragement. Maybe when you post things from this list, use the tag #noticing stuff. Or does someone have a better tag for it?

[idontcaboose]

Luthor's Cricket

Part 1

Master post

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Lex asked for the nth time.

“Of course it will.” Said the cloaked figure.

Lex wasn't sure why the magic user bothered with the cloak, he had hired him by name after all. 

Gray Warden: 36 years old. Promotes himself as a psychopomp/medium that had pretty good reviews. 

Even from other magic users. Some of his other contacts confirmed that, while not strong in physical/destructive magic, he was an above average medium. His ability to summon spirits and other supernatural beings could be trusted, what he summoned was another story. 

Gray's usual clientele were people grieving loved ones, and the occasional ‘ghost hunter’ looking to ‘prove’ their existence. While not his main job, he did make a pretty penny off of the medium business. It didn't take much for Lex to hire him for a summoning, just a sob story about summoning a spirit to ‘help’ him ‘be better’ and a few thousand dollars. Lex knew most people would expect that would mean to have him act more like the utter buffoon Bruce Wayne, but really, he just wants to be better than Superman. 

Lex waited for Gray to get done drawing a circle on the wood table he had Lex provide and other “Spell components” he said. 

A solid wood table made from oak, ash, or thorne. Preferably oak and/or ash since this is a spirit for healing and new beginnings. When asked about the thorne wood, Gray blushed a bit and asked if he wished to Marry the spirit? Lex stopped asking questions after that. 

The highest quality of chalk available.

Stones of the birth month of Lex himself. When told it was a Sapphire, Gray got excited since that is apparently the perfect stone to summon a helpful spirit with.

And lastly, an object of Lex's choosing to help find the perfect spirit to ‘help’ Lex

Gray assured Lex that the spirit could not affect the world around them other than be heard and seen by those who called upon them. Once all of the preparations were complete Lex was beckoned over.

“So, to complete this ritual you will place your object in the center, with A Drop of your blood. Not two, not three, One. It is not enough to bind, but enough to identify. You will place your hand here, and here” Gray gestures to two symbols on one side of the table. “I will be powering these two symbols, and will call upon a spirit to show itself.

I will be very clear before we start. This is the first time I have done this ritual. I have seen it done twice by my mentor. I do not know exactly what will accept the summoning, but I have placed wards to keep malicious entities from hearing the call. Do you still wish to continue?” Gray asked.

Lex scoffed and placed a baseball sized chunk of Kryptonite on the table. “Let's see who we get.”

Within moments Gray was calling to the otherside, asking for a spirit to answer their call.

“Bro, did you seriously do the equivalent of pspssps'ing a Ghost over with candy?”

There were very few things that could make Lex blue screen. Watching a teenager floating lazily while licking the Kryptonite was one such thing. He had white hair, eyes as green as the rock he was nibbling on, and wearing a black and white suit that reminded Lex of the one the Flash wears.

Gray, apparently, took exception to that. “Excuse me? I don't just call spirits like stray cats!”

“My dude, you were just lacking a windowless van, you did give me free candy after all.” the kid pointed at Gray with the Kryptonite. 

“It's not candy, it's Kryptonite, and we summoned you to help me be better.” Lex stated. 

“Did you seriously summon me to be your Jiminy Cricket? Sure, I got time to waste.” The kid laughed. 

At those words a strange light linked from the kids chest to Lex's chest, glowing gold and toxic green. 

“What the fudg-”

“Lex!”

“Cancel the sum-”

Next

Tags

@dcxdpdabbles for their wonderful prompt/own story Linked Here

[amourdivine]

୨ ♡ ୧ THE LAST TIME THEY SAW YOU ୧ PAC

Hello my lovelies! Welcome to another pick a card. This reading is all about the last time you saw them! We will be looking into their feelings and thoughts, as well as channeling extra songs and messages from this person. Feedback, likes and reblogs help me grow my platform and are highly appreciated! If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ amourdivinetarot@gmail.comvia paypal! xo ♡

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›    none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise. ›    personal readings are available!

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR PILE.  take a few deep breaths and look at each picture separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ༉ ‧

how were they feeling the last time they saw you? knight of swords ‧ eight of pentacles ‧ queen of wands ‧ the emperor ‧ eight of cups

Oh, this person was trying to look unbothered. Busy. They were trying to make it seem like they were completely over you and not at all tempted to take a leap towards you. They were holding back their fire, their impulsivity, holding onto logic and stoicism.

This person is proud, okay, really proud. They've got a big ego and along with it, a lot of self-denial, especially when it comes to their feelings towards you. It's almost as if they feel nothing at all, but this Emperor looks nervous, he looks fidgety, like he is trying to keep his hands busy and his eyes away from the Queen of Wands. Many of the messages felt very 18+, lol.

If they left the scene early, it's probably because of you. You made them feel off, you made them feel out of control, uneasy. This person's attraction towards you is no joke, but they're not ready to deal with those feelings yet. It's as if your presence is a hurricane, taking everything down, making them question everything they worked so hard to build. Jesus, pile one, I don't know what you've done to this person, but it has a very intense emotional and physical effect on them.

what were they thinking the last time they saw you? nine of wands ‧ five of swords ‧ four of cups ‧ page of wands ‧ seven of swords

They were focusing on keeping their feelings under wraps. Not only were their nervous, but also quite sneaky. Depending on who this person is, they may have been trying to look happy with other people, so moved on, all the while feeling miserable. If the two of you talked, they may have sneaked in a few white lies about how happy they were to meet you, how good they're doing, etc.

But mostly, their mind was all over the place. They kept trying to make themselves look cooler than how they really felt, planning how they were moving, who they were going to talk to... how they'd approach you, how they'd make you jealous or make you feel inferior. This person is extremely competitive - big ego, like I said. Whatever has happened between the two of you lingers a lot on their mind and leaves them feeling ungrounded, anxious and out of control.

If a fight happened between the two of you, that's what they were thinking of. They had all the comebacks, but held back from fighting. For most of you, they just wanted to rub their happiness, their joy in your face. Regardless of how much of a lie that actually is.

channeled songs and messages. she's so gone by lemonade mouth, liar liar pants on fire, champagne, best friends forever, necklace, silver, diamond ring, "she looks nothing like you", olivia rodrigo, beef, cindy lou who by sabrina carpenter.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ༉ ‧

how were they feeling the last time they saw you? seven of cups ‧ ten of wands ‧ death ‧ ten of pentacles ‧ four of wands

Gosh, they were overwhelmed inside, pile two. All the what ifs, the yearning and the missing you caught up to this person. They grieved the could've been... or perhaps they grieved what was, for some of you. Right then and there, they realized it may have been to late to fix things, to make them right again. Although they wanted to, they were too tired to bother. The sight of you was enough to bring back old memories, many of which they were probably trying to forget or get over.

A specific song came to my mind for this pile, called The Dress by Dijon. It tells the story of two people meeting up again after some time and they both seem to miss each other, still a little hurt from the breakup - but the feelings are not bitter, just sweet and intense.

For most, they felt a mixture of feelings. They probably didn't let you in on it, but it was there. Joy, sadness, hurt, anger. A lot of these emotions at once, which made them realize that they still hold out a candle for you. They still hope for something more, even if this connection is in limbo right now, their heart could not stop longing for more. There's a lot of fantasizing as well, which is why I'll get to the next portion of the reading!

what were they thinking the last time they saw you? the hanged man ‧ five of cups ‧ the devil ‧ the hermit ‧ ace of pentacles

They figured some time should go by until both of you heal some more before trying again. Honestly, this person may be intentionally giving you some space until the two of you can talk or have something more solid, more stable. They thought the wounds and hurt was too fresh, the regret still lingers and they still feel tied to these unhealthy patterns or behaviors that led to your demise.

If they treated you poorly, ghosted, rejected or even cheated on you, they deeply regret it. They may not have said it, but they're sorry for the way things turned out.

However, they want to heal. They're being more strategic about themselves, looking inward, trying to discover the aspects of them that probably unconsciously ruined this relationship. They seem pretty serious about leaving the past behind, to give it some time until the connection can be renewed. Maybe later down the line, when both of you are older, you'll be able to sit down and talk, once the two of you have forgiven your past mistakes and the regrets are not so heavy on their mind. Even if as friends, they wouldn't want to miss out on this opportunity.

channeled songs and messages. all too well by tswift, birthday candles, night time, silk dress, "stupid", 777, "i should have known", secret playlist, see you again, 405, train, bus, we meet by chance, pictures off the wall, country, folk, 00's pop.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ༉ ‧

how were they feeling the last time they saw you? page of swords ‧ nine of pentacles ‧ knight of cups ‧ the hanged man ‧ the moon

Feelings they tried to bury deep within have come out and made this person realize they really like you. They were curious - they wanted to know if you were single, if you were seeing someone... how you were doing. But gosh, they felt so insecure, indecisive and confused. This person has deep-seated fears when it comes to relationships that they may not let on.

They wanted to talk, to reach out, to ask you out. For most of you, this is an intense crush. They like you, they do, but they have self-sabotaging tendencies that stall them, that make them stay in one place and never move. Even if this Knight of Cups doesn't wish to, he moves away from the woman in the 9 of Pentacles, like he's a walking contradiction.

This person is not used to these feelings. They seem much like a small child discovering something quite obvious to everyone else but them. I hear Rubik's Cube by Athlete in my mind, you should definitely check out the lyrics if this reading resonates.

You make them question their sanity, almost. Not in a bad way, but you've intrigued them, haunted their heart because they have been trying to figure out why these feelings are there, just why they like and want you so much, but there's just no answer. You make them giddy, you make them excited, a little nervous and high up in the clouds. They just don't want you to know that yet.

what were they thinking the last time they saw you? the empress ‧ the moon ‧ two of pentacles ‧ ace of swords ‧ the fool

Quite literally, they could not stop thinking about your beauty. You stand out to this person even if you're not trying to. They just wanted to focus on something else, but their mind kept being drawn towards you, their eyes couldn't get enough of your beauty, your charm, how intelligent, whole and perfect you seem in their eyes.

No matter how they tried to control their thoughts, their hidden world came to the surface. They were forced to acknowledge that yes, they do like you and they might have to do something about it. To take a leap of faith even if it makes them look foolish, childish or stupid in your eyes. They knew they'll have to do it scared if they want to be with you, they'll have to face their fears and insecurities in order to be worthy of you.

They may have been weighing the pros and cons in their mind as well, but the answer was bravery, courage. The cards here suggest they want to do something bold, they definitely have thought about it long enough to realize coming towards you will be a big step, but the great start of an adventure for the two of you.

channeled songs and messages. start of something new by high school musical, late night nostalgia, november, december, aquarius, pisces, venus, libra, 2, 222, breakthrough, "out with the old, in with the new", new year's eve.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ༉ ‧

how were they feeling the last time they saw you? the world ‧ seven of swords ‧ the chariot ‧ two of wands ‧ ten of pentacles

I'm not really sure what kind of connection you may have with this person, but they were quite literally feeling on top of the world. They wanted to show off, they felt successful, accomplished - almost to an arrogant, overbearing degree - and surrounded by good things. They were likely wearing fancy clothes, being loud in the crowd, trying to catch everybody's attention, but especially yours.

It may not have seemed like they were trying to gain your approval because they seemed just so fine and comfortable in the spotlight, but secretly, they were hoping you'd look their way and feel that way about them: successful, well-known, well-read, handsome, accomplished.

Maybe they had a few too many drinks to begin with, or maybe they just partied too hard, but the feeling here is one of humble-bragging whilst simultaneously showering oneself in praise. It's quite interesting, to be honest, but the heart of the matter is that they were feeling good, looking good and they wanted to make sure you would see that. I wouldn't be surprised if this person hit on someone or several different people to try and make you jealous. The energy is not malicious, but extremely immature, f-boy almost.

what were they thinking the last time they saw you? queen of pentacles ‧ six of swords ‧ knight of cups ‧ five of pentacles ‧ five of cups

This is oddly specific, but, you probably didn't give them an ounce of attention. If you did, they didn't think it was enough. They took your actions as rejection, because you seemed so healed, so fine, so unbothered and joyful that this person could not help but think negatively afterwards.

Whatever their plan was, it didn't work with you. If they tried to play mind games, to sweep you off your feet and make you come towards them... it didn't work, so they saw themselves as some sort of failure. This person has a very fluctuating self-esteem, they seem to rely a lot on the opinions and actions of others to define their self-worth.

For whatever reason, they were hoping to gain your approval - but the fact they didn't get whatever they wanted from you made them pity themselves. They may have spent the night over-analyzing, moping to friends or to themselves about it, wondering why you didn't give them a chance, why you didn't look their way.

channeled songs and messages. "homeboy", friends with benefits, dior, crowded place, 666, rap, hip hop, freestyle, ice on my teeth by ateez, overspending, prada, diamond tears, big checks, blackpink, money by lisa, expensive perfume, menswear.

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content!

DISCLAIMER. tarot is a divination tool, it’s not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i don’t take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. be mindful ♡

[enwoso]

lovie flash forward where she captains the lionesses to win the euros again (with any kids from the other stories that are lionesses kids) and she’s a midfielder because when she was little she didn’t want to choose between alessia and leah so she chose between their two positions she also is number 6 (for leah) and has russo on her shirt (for alessia) so it’s a mix of both of them. she’s also quite tall but the nickname tiny stuck around😭

there’s even a déjà vu moment for when they play germany and lovie is looking over a players shoulder at a note and people make it a meme along side alessia’s from years ago😭

anyway! she captains them to a clean sheet win and scores a hatrick and has a world famous celebration that’s all over the internet with kids copying her and when she’s getting interviewed after it she basically says what leah said “I can’t stop crying” and “i’m trying really hard not to swear”

and when it’s all done she’s back to celebrating and drags alessia to roll around in the confetti with her like when alessia won her first euros and she makes ella and mary knee slide with her like then too (bc ofc they came to watch) also dedicates her medal to her mum and leah during her interview🤌🏽

maybe even gets a ballon d’or nomination afterwards😎

GLIMPSE OF THE FUTURE | alessia russo x leah williamson x russo!reader

to the person who requested this, i'm so sorry it took so long. i loved this request when i first seen it and wrote a whole fic in two days for it but then when i was editing it i re-read it and hated it hence why it's took so long, but i hope i've done it justice as i ended up loving making this and editing photos for this was such a fun thing to write once i got the plot right🙃

grumpy masterlist

you stood in the tunnel, your heart pounding as the roar of the crowd echoed throughout the stadium walls. taking a glance down at the armband which was wrapped tightly around your left arm. captain, you, at 23 leading england onto the pitch in the euros final. it was something four year old you dreamed about.

the weight to deliver tonight was almost overwhelming. but your focus went to your family who was in the stands.

your mum, leah all decked out in england merch, shirts, flags face paint everything they could get their hands on as they were surrounded by your uncles gio and luca as well as your grandparents who had been there throughout the entire tournament as well as your mum's former teammates.

you could imagine your mum's excitement vividly - alessia painted in england colours, a scarf tied around her neck despite the warm weather and her england shirt with 'russo' #11 adorned on the back.

alessia had spent the last three weeks telling anyone who would listen about how proud she was leading to you being the subject of endless teasing from your uncles and your mum's friends even if was a little annoying you knew it all came from a good place.

"you've got this lovie" alessia whispered to herself, adjusting her shirt a little, the iconic number 11 gleaming with pride. your number being that as it was the famous number 2,3 for your mum and 6 for leah combined.

as you walked onto the pitch with your team, the thunderous cheer filled your body with energy. the match beginning and you were in your element. england were dominating possession, moving the ball with so much flare.

so in the 24th minute a perfect through ball found you in space as you cut inside, steering clear of the german defender as you slotted the ball into the bottom corner - the stadium erupted. your team mates surrounding you with head taps and hugs.

by the time halftime had rolled around, you had already bagged a brace having been set up perfectly each time by your teammates. england were flying and looking likely to win it but you knew better than start and get comfortable knowing the momentum could easily change.

in the 70th minute of the second half, the germans made a substitution. your sharp eyes caught a glimps of a substitute carrying a folded piece of paper.

wandering over as you strained to see it over the players shoulder, but it was all in german and dotted with cryptic numbers. you mum walking with a big grin as it was a straight parallel of the same thing she had done int he 2022 euro final.

"focus lovie" she muttered to herself as she felt leah's hand rest on her knee to stop it from bouncing up and down. the game getting its self back underway.

the game wearing on, the german tightening their defence but you weren't finished. in the 78th minute you found yourself once again on the edge of the box.

a clever one two with your centre forward, left you one one one with the keeper. seeing an open goal you chipped the ball delicately over the outstretched hand of the keeper.

GOAL!

you knew once it had left your foot it was going in, your celebration was instinctive. rushing over to the corner in a sleek knee slide as you cupped your hand to your ear — staring into the stand as you soaked in the noise.

you way of silencing the doubters, for those who had said you'd never be half the player your mum was. you feeling nothing but satisfaction when you proved them all wrong time after time.

the referee's whistle cut through the air finally after six minutes of added time — sharp and definitive. and for a second you froze. then it hit you, you had done it. your three goals had done it. england were european champions, once again.

you knees buckled and you collapsed onto the grass, your hands covering your face as the tears started to fall. the noise around you was deafening, a cacophony of cheers and screams echoing throughout the stadium. 

you tilting her head back, staring at the sky as you tried to catch your breath — your chest heaving up and down.

feeling hands grab at your shoulders and turning to see your teammates rushing towards you, all screaming with joy. a blur of england jerseys surrounding you as you were pulled into a massive group hug, lifting you off the ground as if you were the trophy.

you laughing through your tears of joy, unable to stop the huge grin on your face as they chanted your name, loud and proud.

"russo scoring goals galore! captain fantastic!" your teammates shouted, ruffling your hair as you took in every single ounce of the moment.

back in the stands with your mum, alessia was in her feet. tears falling from her eyes as she clutched onto leah's arm. "that's my baby, that's my lovie!" she shouted her voice cracking.

alessia's scarf all askew, her face paint all smudged from the tears streaming down her cheeks in joy, but she didn't care. she could be prouder of you and she wanted all to know.

leah was beaming beside your mum, clapping furiously as her voice was hoarse from cheering. leaning in close to alessia as she rubbed a hand up and down the blondes back.

"you right here that, you know. she's you out there — maybe slightly better" leah nudged alessia as she playfully rolled her eyes at the teasing comment.

"don't say that!" alessia half laughed, while half crying through the pride radiated from her, "but also — maybe"

your grandparents, carol and mario were on their feet waving flags and cheering loudly. mario clapping a hand over his heart as his face etched with emotion, “she’s incredible” he said to no one in particular more just thinking aloud.

“runs in the family” gio chimed in as he grinned nudging luca slightly.

luca had been on his phone recording the celebration, well trying to. “this is going on every family group chat. i’m never letting her forget this!”

as your mum’s former teammates — ella, mary, lucy and lotte were just as loud as your family. they may not be your family by blood but they were definitely your chosen family. they’d watched you grow up with their owns eyes being there for you when you needed.

mary was hollering, “that’s the russo legacy right there!” as lucy waved her england scarf above her head like a helicopter.

as you back in the pitch, you’d managed to peel yourself away from the group hug as your eyes scanned the stands, looking for your family.

finding them quickly, your mums attire dressed in full england merch from head to toe was a dead giveaway, and when your eyes met your mum’s you lifted your arms and pointed towards her.

“for you mum!” you mouthed, tears were still streaming down her face in pure pride. alessia bringing a hand to her mouth as she nodded the tears continuing to spill over again.

you turned back to the field, it being moments away from the trophy celebration, as you wiped your eyes as the reality of the moment was really starting to settle in.

you’d dreamed of this as a little girl, you’d watched your mum win it in 2022 amongst some of the most decorated players in the words which your adored.

now it was your turn. your fists clenching as you breathed in the moment. the weight of history pressing in your shoulders — but not as a burden but as a crown.

the crowd hadn’t stopped for a single moment since the final whistle, chanting and cheering as the team relished in the celebrations for their hard word over the past few weeks.

as you lined up watching the german players receiving their medals first, as you congratulated each one. you’d dreamed watched as your teammates, their joy mirrored your own. a sense of profound sense of gratitude — not just for the win, but also for the journey.

the germans had received their silver medals, it was now your turn as the announcer roared their names through the speakers.

you stood at the end of the line watching all your teammates received their well deserved gold medal, the captains armband still snug around your arm, still trying to process what had just happened.

your cheeks were damp with tears, your hands trembling with adrenaline and emotion.

the first few medals had been handed out, you watching in with pride as you could hear their laughter, their shouts of disbelief. every step closer to the podium felt surreal — as if she was walking through a dream.

it was now your turn, the official draped the gold medal around your neck, the cool weight of it grounding you. you touched it lightly then turned to the cheering fans lifting it high. the roar from the crowd was deafening.

you’d shook hands with all the officials lined up, your heart pounding as you were left to lift the trophy. your heart was pounding. the trophy was gleaming under the stadium lights and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from it.

"and now, your captain, y/n russo, will lift the trophy!"

the crowd erupted as you moved towards your teammates moving into the middle of the group as you gripped the handles of the trophy tightly. pausing for a moment as the weight of the moment hit her.

then with a deep breath, you hoisted it high above your head. confetti cannons exploded, showering the team in gold as the stadium roared with joy.

you closed your eyes, tilting your head back to feel the confetti rain down on you. you could hear your teammates screaming behind you, their hands slapping her shoulders in celebration.

in the stands, your mum was a mess of tears and pride. she clutched leah’s hand tightly, “that’s our girl, le” your mum yelled bouncing on her toes as you lifted the trophy.

gio was shouting your chant, “midfield magic, hear the crowd roar! russo’s scoring goals galore!” as luca waved a giant england flag above his head.

back to you on the pitch, the trophy remained being passed about high above peoples head as you laughed on, before an interviewer found you amidst of the celebrations.

“how does it feel y/n?”

“i-i can’t stop cryin’ and i’m trying really hard not to swear” you admitted, a small laugh falling from your lips as your voice shook.

"what does this all mean to you and the team?"

you took a deep breath. "i speak on behalf of all my teammates when I say this is for everyone who doubted us, who told us we shouldn't play because we're women. well, look at us now. european champions. who's got the title—us or them?"

you paused, your eyes glancing over to the stands where your family was, “and for me, well this isn't just about football. i've been able to do this because of my two biggest fans—my mum and le. this is for you both. i love you so much. and gio," you added with a teary laugh, "you were right—this is way better than chocolate!”

you laughed, knowing when gio and the rest of your family saw the interview would get the reference from when your mum first won the euros. you thanked the interviewer as you made your way to the sidelines where you would finally be able to enjoy the moment with those who mattered most to you.

when you made it to them, you effortlessly jumped over the barrier, being engulfed by your family. your mum throwing her arms around you, sobbing for the thousandth time today.

“mum! we did it” you whispered, your voice breaking.

your mum hugging you tightly as a hand run down your back before she pulled away, “no, you did it lovie.”

leah joined the hug, wrapping both your mum and you in her arms, “we are so proud of you, angel” she smiled softly her own eyes filled with pride.

as you turned to your grandparents who had been watching the sweet moment between your mums as they beamed with pride.

your nonno, mario pulled you into a tight hug, “you’ve made this family so proud kiddo” he smiled his voice thick with emotion.

“thanks nonno” you said, your voice trembling as you held back the tears.

your uncles, gio and luca, of course broke the emotional moment with their teasing. “did you have to score three? what a show off!” gio grinned, a wide smirk on his face.

you laughed, rolling your eyes playfully, “remind me how many you’ve scored in a euros final?” you quipped back. gio just laughing as he pulled you into a headlock as you laughed.

you’d posted for photo after photo, finally making your way to your mum’s teammate that had made the journey, mary was first to give you a massive hug ruffling your hair. “hat trick in a final! you’ve got your mums genes that for sure!”

“probably better actually” ella added with a wink as you scoffed with a laugh.

“ok, ok let’s not start that argument, again” you smiled as you catch up with the girls your cheeks already flushed from the sheer amount of attention being placed on you.

the celebrations felt endless and carried on all night long, you not being sat in a function room. having danced the night away with not only your teammates but also your family.

but you still had one thing left to do, the medal which hadn’t left your neck. moving your way over to your mum who was sat leaned up against leah.

you without saying a word took the medal from around your neck, placing around your mums as a confused look flashed across your mums features.

“lovie? what- what are you doing? this is yours” your mum asked as she moved to take it from around her neck.

your quickly shaking your head, “no it’s for you, without you, and leah i wouldn’t be half the person i am today”

and there came the tears again as alessia beckoned you to sit down next to her as the tears spilled again.

“oh not again, angel i had just managed to get her to stop cryin’!”

-

months later

you were sprawled out on the couch having a rare weekend off you’d came home for to spend some time with your mums.

you quiet morning however was ruined when alessia walked in, holding her phone. her face was lit with excitement.

“lovie, you’ll never guess what!” your mum paused as you nodded your head for her to continue, expecting for her to tell you about some gossip she’s found from the neighbours while putting the bins out, “you’ve been nominated for a ballon d’or!”

you nearly choked on your water as you shot up, your eyes going wide, “what? are you having my life?”

your mum shook her head, “you’ve heard me!” she beamed, “i always knew you’d do something special but this-“

leah then appeared in the doorway clearly having already heard the news as she shook her head with a bright smile, “told you less, she’s better than we ever could have imagined”

you groaned from the compliment, though you were grinning, “mum, le- stop your embarrassing me”

but as you hugged them both, you knew you wouldn’t trade their pride or their love for anything in the world.

from ‘tiny’ to towering greatness — quite literally — y/n russo had lived up to the legacy and had created a one for her own in the process.

[theoretically-questionable]

As far as I can tell, like 90% of the reason that the Small Child In My House and I get on so well is that I have always *asked* them about things (or told them what I'm about to do, step by step, if they don't get to choose in a particular instance). I've done this since they were born, basically.

Sometimes they will be in the middle of a seemingly unsolvable meltdown but still calm down as soon as I walk in and ask them what's going on—not because they 'Like Me More' or even because they necessarily think I can Solve The Problem, but (as far as I can tell) because they know I will *listen*, try to give them choices, and give them the space to calm down and make a choice in their own time.

This often just prevents meltdowns and upsets, too; sometimes the difference between running away crying from A Necessary Task and actively asking me to Do The Task is a "Hey, I'm going to have to do this soon" and five minutes of waiting.

I think a common thread between people who very deliberately do this sort of thing is that we remember (often fairly vividly) what it is like to Lack Autonomy and Be Very Small.

I remember what it was like to be roughly three years old and it sucked so so bad. Like, my parents were pretty good about listening to me but they were still of the passive, unquestioned attitude that kids were still "becoming people", and with that comes a whole host of small but important assumptions around autonomy, selfhood, and self-directed desires and actions.

My memories of being three years old are not *simpler* than my memories of being twenty-three. I was a whole person then, still cognitively developing but also very much *a person*, just in a much smaller container.

people laugh at me for always asking a baby's permission before picking them up but let me tell you when my nephew was seven months old I picked him up off the floor without checking first and he was absolutely outraged and reproached me with terrible wails. just because a person is very small doesn't mean it's not scary and upsetting to be scooped up out of nowhere by a much larger person. quite the contrary. obviously if a baby is in danger or the situation is otherwise pressing you can temporarily suspend the rules of polite behavior and just grab them up, much like you are allowed to violently shove a grownup if a speeding car is bearing down on them. but that doesn't mean you just go around shoving people as a matter of routine. show some consideration to our latest arrivals on this horrible planet. they are better at communicating than you think

[taeyongdoyoung]

that's a warning

summary: your professor's age is not a problem to you. and neither is his dark secret... pairing: professor!chan x uni student!reader genre: dark academia, vampire!au, smut warnings: professor/student dynamic, age gap (unspecified), mentions of toxic friend, descriptions of blood, kissing, biting, eating out, blowjob, daddy kink (who's surprised?), ddlg implied, size kink, unprotected sex, forbidden relationship, insecurities, danger kink author's note: this is based on a dream i had + inspired by railway, obviously. read at your own risk 🥵 too many references to the song's lyrics in bold, sawrryyy word count: 3k

The moment you set your eyes on Professor Bang, you know that you need to have him. You've never felt an attraction so intense, so overpowering, so sinister in its obsession. You are willing to go to any lengths to get close to him. Even if it kills you.

It starts off innocent, almost childlike. The way you stay after his lectures to ask him silly questions (you know the answers to) about the homework. Sometimes you ask him about the location of other lecture halls (even though you've been to them hundreds of times). Sometimes you go to his office hours just to be alone with him (even though you are perfectly confident in understanding the study material).

At first, Chan accepts your incessant flood of questions with an easy-going smile. If he's being honest with himself, he likes the attention. It's been a while since someone's been that interested in talking to him. Especially someone so…young. Most students usually avoid his intense stare. He's been told it's far too intimidating. He tries to be welcoming to everyone but he's not sure he's doing a good job.

But as the semester nears its end, his patience wears thin. You always get full marks on your assignments and quizzes so he doesn't understand why you are constantly asking for his "help". And he's certain you know your way around the university better than any other student. You're always on time and your homework is flawless 100% of the time. So, he really doesn't get it. Are you messing with him? Is it funny to you to joke around with a poor old lonely professor?

Chan's decided he's had enough. And this time, when you catch him alone after the lecture, he's going to confront you.

"Cut the act," Professor Bang scolds you directly. "I know you know the answer to that question. Why are you doing this to me?"

"Doing what, Professor Bang?" you ask innocently, while batting your eyelashes.

"Pretending you're dumb. It's obvious you're a top student, so why are you always asking me stuff?" he grunts and pins you down with his intense gaze you're so addicted to.

Hell, you've never felt more terrified. It excites you.

"Don't you know already?" you mumble quietly. You want to look away but you're trapped in his beautiful dark eyes. So you don't.

"Is it fun, messing with an old man like me, huh? Is it some stupid college dare?" Chan asks, his insecurities getting the worst of him.

"You're not old," you insist passionately. "There's no dare. I just…like you."

"You…like me?" he repeats in disbelief.

You nod furiously, trying to convince him of your sincerity.

"But…why?"

"What do you mean why? You're so smart and handsome and sometimes even cute. I like…how you explain stuff like you don't think anyone is dumb, you're so patient and…warm."

Huh. Warm? It's been a while since someone's used that word to describe him, Chan thought.

"You do realize we could both get in trouble if…" he can't even believe he's even considering this. "If we were to…pursue something outside of the university walls?"

Fuck it, he said it.

"I know. I won't tell anyone, I promise," you are desperately grasping at straws as you find yourself so close to the one thing you've ever wanted more than anything.

Professor Bang shakes his head.

"I'm not asking you to keep it a complete secret. Just…if you choose to share it with people, be careful who you trust."

"I understand, Professor, I'll be careful," you promise.

"And…call me Chris or Chan or something," he shrugs. "When it's just us two."

God. It's really happening.

"Let me take you out to a restaurant," he offers suddenly. "Tomorrow evening?"

"That sounds amazing!" you grin excitedly.

Your first date with Chan arrives and you are so happy you feel like you could die. You don't wanna jinx things so soon and don't tell anyone where you're going.

"You look stunning," he compliments your dress as he pulls a chair out for you.

"Thank you so much, Chris," you smile and take a seat. "You look absolutely dashing, as always."

He chuckles but doesn't respond rightaway.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just…I don't hear that much. Especially not from beautiful young women such as yourself."

"You're surely joking?" you frown. "Anyone would kill to be in my shoes right now."

"You're too kind," Chan replies, not seeming to believe your words and you decide to drop the subject. For now. "What would you like to drink?"

"Hmm…maybe some red wine?"

"Good choice," he smirks. "And food?"

"I'm really into pasta these days!" you squeal with excitement.

Chris orders for the two of you, making your heart flutter for the hundredth time. He's just…so dependable.

Till the food arrives, you busy yourselves with getting to know each other better. Outside of the university walls, it turns out you are both passionate about things other than academic endeavours. And with each glass of red, it becomes easier to share stuff about yourself with him.

As the evening nears its natural conclusion, Chan insists on paying the bill for the food and drinks.

"Now I feel bad," you pout adorably, clinging onto his arm for support, because all the wine made your legs slightly unstable. "Let's go for coffee!"

"I don't…really drink coffee," Chris confesses shyly.

"Tea, then! Please, I don't want to go home just yet. This night is so perfect, I don't want it to end."

"Okay, okay," he agrees easily.

You lead the way to one of your favourite cafés. This time, you excitedly pay for the warm beverages.

"It's snowing outside!" you marvel at the pretty snowflakes falling, illuminated by the street lights.

"Good thing we're all cozy and inside, then," Chan chuckles.

"Yeah…" you smile softly. "I really like you, Chan," you admit.

"I know, you said that a couple of times," he shakes his head, amused.

"Yes, but…you didn't say anything. Do you like me, too?" you inquire self-consciously.

"I do like you. You're very clever and funny and obviously super pretty."

"Really?" you blink furiously to stop yourself from tearing up. You don't get to hear something like that by someone you admire so much. Someone who inspires you to be as diligent and hard-working as him. Scratch that. You don't get to hear words like that very often. It sometimes strikes you how badly you need to be acknowledged for your efforts.

"You must know that."

"No, actually, I don't," you smile sadly. "But it's really nice of you to say it. True or not."

Chan stretches his hand out across the table to hold yours.

"Hey. It's true, okay?"

"Guess I'll stick around to find out, yeah? And maybe I'll help you believe it, too," you suggest.

"Maybe. I'd really like that."

And stick around you do. The next semester, Chan is no longer your Professor, so you don't have to worry so much about getting in trouble with the university's authorities. Eventually, as things start becoming more serious, you decide to share the news about your boyfriend's identity with a few of your closest friends.

Luckily, most of them are super supportive and happy about your relationship. They tell you that you've looked happier recently and are pleased to finally know the reason. There is one friend, however, who is completely against.

"I don't approve. You can't date him," she outright says.

"Can't? Excuse me?" you become aggravated. You've had some fights in the past, situations when she's been jealous of you hanging out with other friends and has done some toxic stuff behind your back. So, her reaction doesn't come as a complete surprise. But still, it sucks that she hasn't outgrown this kind of pettiness.

"He's like…too old for you. And the fact he was your Professor is just…gross."

"How can you say that? You've never even met him."

"Then, let me meet him."

"Why would you meet him if you've already made up your mind?"

"To make sure he's worthy of you, duh."

"That's my call to make. Not yours."

And with that, you leave. This is just…too much. Later, you talk to another friend about this situation to get a second opinion.

"Nah, fuck her. I mean, it's your relationship, she can't dictate how you feel or who you're seeing romantically."

"Right? That's exactly what I've been thinking."

"It sucks that she said those stuff but maybe you're better off," your other friend shrugs.

"Yeah…For the time being, I'll distance myself from her. If she starts acting like an adult, only then will I consider letting her back in."

"That's totally valid," your friend agrees. "Take your time and look after your mental health."

"Thank you so much. I knew you'd get it."

"Always!"

Soon after that, you hang out at Chan's place and you decide to talk talk to him about the falling-out with that toxic friend.

"Well, technically, I am too old for you."

"The fuck you are! Are you taking her side?" you cry out passionately.

"Hell, no! I'm just saying…you could find any college guy your age and…"

"No, shut up, Chris!" you shake your head, refusing to entertain such an idea. "I don't want anyone but you!"

"But I'm dangerous for you," Chan sighs. But you can't believe that. He's been nothing but kind and accepting in the short time you've known each other.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

"You'd think I'm crazy if I told you," he grins somewhat devilishly. "It'd be better if I showed you instead. But then, I'd have to kill you."

"W-what?" you stammer, his behaviour totally unlike the gentle guy you're used to seeing.

Suddenly, Chris grabs your wrist and starts pulling you somewhere.

"W-where are we g-going?" you ask helplessly but he doesn't respond. He's too strong to fight him back so you just try to keep up with his speed and follow him down the stairs and into the basement. Where you'll find answers to questions you didn't even know you were supposed to be asking.

When he unlocks the door, you are greeted with red. A lot of it.

"What is all this?"

"Come on, sweetheart, I thought you were smarter than that," Chris chuckles.

"It's…blood banks," you state the obvious, feeling dumber than ever.

"Wow, you don't say," Chris replies sarcastically.

"Why…why do you have all this blood in your basement? Is it like a…kink thing?!" you gasp in shock.

"No, darling, it's not a kink thing," he laughs, the idea incredibly amusing. "Take a guess."

"Are you a serial killer?" you try to think of a logical explanation.

"You're too realistic," Chris sighs. "Think…something you never thought possible."

"You're…a vampire!" you exclaim triumphantly.

"Bingo," he confirms unenthusiastically. "So, your friend was correct to worry. I am too old for you. And bad for you. I never should have let this go so far."

You shake your head.

"N-no, she's not right," you disagree. "I don't care."

"You don't care?" Chris tilts your chin up, facing you directly. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to restrain myself from sucking your blood dry?"

You gulp nervously but refuse to believe he'd actually do that. Especially considering he hasn't done so already…

"Why did you become a Professor surrounded by so many humans if self-control is so hard for you?" you push back cleverly.

"It's never been a problem for me to control my thirst. Until you."

"Then, why did you let me get so close?" you inquire.

"Because I was weak…And lonely. I shouldn't have let you in."

Your eyes tear up with emotion.

"Are you saying you'd be happier without me?"

"Happier?" Chris scoffs. "No, I wouldn't be happier. But you would be safer without me."

"Fuck that," you argue. "I am safe when it's just you and me. Knowing you're a vampire changes nothing about how I feel about you."

"Then, you're even more insane than I am," Chris sighs, unable to deny the growing tension between you two.

You kiss him roughly to prove him right, digging your fingers into his soft hair. He kisses you back just as hungrily, incapable of letting you go.

Yes, he may be dangerous for you. But so are you. Willingly pursuing him, not running away from him despite knowing the truth.

He grabs your hair and pulls back, exposing your neck.

"Last chance to get out of here. That's a warning," Chris whispers darkly.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" you grin, completely trusting him.

Even if he was your Professor, even if he is way older than you than you initially thought, even if he is a blood-sucking predator, there is no one else you'd trust so unconditionally, so irrevocably.

"What if I hurt you?" he asks, a hint of worry making his dark eyes glow with warmth.

"You couldn't," you insist and close your eyes, tilting your neck. "You can bite me, if you want."

"You're crazy," Chris repeats.

"I trust you," you speak your thoughts out loud.

And this is his breaking point. He attacks your neck with his sharp fangs, not wanting to hold back any longer. The bite stings but in such a sweet way you would be happy to go, if this was your fate…As he drinks from you, you weakly wrap your hands around his neck for support, needing him to ground you. Just as badly as he needed one taste from your delicious blood. If your blood is what Chris needs for survival, then he will surely be your undoing.

Somehow, against all reason, Chan manages to detach his fangs from your neck.

"Fuck," he caresses your neck, smearing the blood all over your porcelain skin. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," you murmur dazedly. "I'm okay."

He holds you close, kissing your cheeks and trying to clean up the mess he made.

"Let's get out of here," Chan suggests and lifts you in his arms, carrying you back to the coziness of his place.

"I don't mind," you reassure him. "You being a vampire, that is. I love every part about you. I love...you."

"You…love me?" Chan gasps in surprise.

"I do, I love you," you say once again for good measure.

He doesn't say anything, just kisses you again in disbelief. You hug him tightly, finding so much comfort in his arms. Whatever you've heard about vampires doesn't apply to Chan. He's radiating so much warmth you feel you could burn.

"Hold on tight," he warns and you grip the headboard top rail for dear life, as Chan makes sure to show you blood is not the only thing he's interested in drinking.

As he laps up your juices greedily, you find yourself on the verge of losing your sanity. Your hands give out and you let go of the bed's railings and opt for burying your fingers into his curls once more for support.

"Chris, please, please," you cry out, not even sure what you're begging for. For him to stop? For sweet release? It doesn't matter, as long as he stays with you.

Soon enough, your prayers are answered and you start seeing stars floating in the middle of the room.

"Did I kill you already?" he laughs upon seeing your reaction.

"Try harder," you tease him, even though you are already so gone.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Chris shrugs.

He takes off his jeans and stuffs your mouth full with his giant cock. You try to babble something but it's no use and your helplessness only turns him on more. You hug the back of his knees and let him fuck your throat as he pleases, even though you don't have much of a choice in the matter. Your vision is cloudy with tears and you can't even ask for mercy as his cum starts flooding your mouth. If you thought him drinking your blood was overwhelming, this is on a whole 'nother level of dizzying.

Once he's done using and abusing your throat, he pulls his cock out, smirking at you from above.

"You okay, sweetheart? Still alive?"

"Y-yes, d-daddy," you manage to croak out weakly.

Chris shakes his head in amusement upon hearing the sudden title.

"Then, I guess Daddy's gonna have to give ya a rough ride so you'll forget your own name, huh? How does that sound?"

"More, please," you plead desperately and he makes good on his promise.

He enters you without another warning and you can't keep your screams inside.

"G-god, y-yes," you moan.

"God isn't in this room, darling," Chris cackles maniacally. "The devil, however…"

You kiss him again because he's talking so much your brain can't keep up.

"S-so b-big," you cry.

"Yeah? Too big for my little girl?" he teases you.

"N-no. P-perfect. You're perfect," you insist stubbornly.

Chris fucks into you with supernatural stamina and you are grateful for that because even though you want to, you aren't able of keeping pace with him. Instead, you are happy to just hold onto him and focusing all your energy into…well, not passing out. You're so wet for him that his enormous size slides in and out easily, satisfying both of you with the intensity of the feeling. At last, you cum together, overwhelmed by the passion and affection you feel for each other.

He collapses on top of you, not wanting to pull out just yet. You welcome his weight like he's a giant blanket, comforting you.

"Don't wanna let go of you," Chan murmurs cutely.

You stroke his hair once more with a gentle touch. How is this man who has so many more years of experience still such a cute boy, desperate for tenderness?

"Then, don't. I'm all yours to keep," you chuckle weakly.

"That wouldn't be very productive to our academic future," Chan complains.

"It's okay. I feel like we've both earned a little break," you point out.

"From university? Sure. But when it comes to us two…I need no break. No brakes."

"Nicely said," you giggle, ready for another round on this train that never sleeps.

The End

[richarlotte]

Modern Helen of Troy.

Delete the apps, and if you’re not willing to, PAUSE YOUR PROFILE. It’s too much; it’s exhausting, and chasing approval or attention on dating and hookup apps will tire you out faster than anything else. When I was on Hinge and Bumble, I was spiritually exhausted, and the best thing I did for myself was delete my profiles and focus on myself and the real world. Having a clean slate, clearing out your inbox and your conversations, and not having strangers barking at your door to be let in will help you rest. If you decide you can handle the apps or you want to have them, take your time and don’t agonize over the outcome.

 

You need to be in the gym or exercising 3 days weekly; my life became infinitely better when I had a workout routine, and moving my body helped alleviate so much of my tension and anxiety. 10,000 steps, proper meals, hydrating, and enjoying caring for my body helped change the way I viewed myself. A lot of people start working out, go hardcore with 7 days a week and intense cardio, and burn out fast. You don’t need to do that to be healthy or look good; a routine as simple as three days of the week and a consistent effort will get you right in no time at all. Consistency and a routine are what will win the race, not everything at first and then nothing at all.

 

You should work on maintaining friendships with people who uplift you and who you uplift in return. Your friends and partners can make the hardest times feel heavenly if they’re the right people; you must choose your friends wisely and then work on bettering and strengthening your relationships with each of them in 2025. In order to succeed, you need to have people around you, and you need to be willing to meet more people; you should be doing more and trying to experience more life, and you should be taking advantage of your youth. I wouldn’t have been able to come as far as I have without the help of my friends, and while isolation felt good to me at one point, loneliness is a beast one can’t battle alone.

 

Education is another essential thing to be focusing on throughout 2025, especially due to the period of time we’re living in. 2025 is all about improving our media literacy, getting diplomas and certifications, reading and writing more, becoming more articulate, learning more languages, and taking the time to relearn how to love learning. You are doing yourself a major disservice if you’re not keeping your mind sharp, learning new things, learning how to identify misinformation, and working on building up an understanding of the world around you. We as human beings were meant for lifelong learning, and if you’re not already doing something to sharpen your mind, now’s the perfect time to choose something fresh and get started.

 

2025 is also the time to work on gaining your independence, no matter your age. If you don’t know how to swim, don’t have your license, can’t ride a bike, don’t have a passport, don’t have a bank account, have never paid a bill, don’t know how to take public transit, or anything similar, now’s the time to get going. I read a great quote here on Tumblr about how you have to choose to wake up one day and take your independence, and I believe in it. Now is the perfect time to just start doing what needs to be done and learning along the way; you don’t need to be an expert, and you should feel no shame if you’re older and learning something new; you just need to be able to steer your ship out of troubled water if needed.

Richarlotte x

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

This is true even if you are genuinely friends with your boss outside work. People who are in management positions are usually required to record notes of their interactions with their employees and can get penalized for not adding relevant disclosures to your file.

If it isn't required to receive accommodations then please, please do not mention it on the clock. Your nice boss does not want to have to choose between outing your personal information to their boss and lying about you to their boss.

ETA: At a good company with a good boss you may be able to request that any sensitive personal information (such as disability and family status) be removed from your file if it's in there so if you've accidentally disclosed something it's not necessarily a huge deal. Likewise, if you accidentally tell your boss something you can do a "please pretend I didn't say that I am not consenting to that being recorded" and hope they comply.

Hey here is your friendly reminder to not tell your nice boss stuff.

I’m at the executive management level for my very small company and I have 4 people who report directly to me. I am a nice boss. I’m friendly with my employees, I treat them like professional adults, I actively try to create a positive work environment, and I mentor them and make sure they’re advancing in their careers. I do my best to shield them from the rest of management doing stupid shit. My employees like working for me.

The other day one of my employees came to ask if she could change her hours on Mondays. I said yes immediately because it’s helpful for me to know when she’s here and when she’s not, but as long as she gets her work done I don’t care when and where she does it. She then proceeded to tell me that it was so she could attend therapy and like … I will never use this information but … as a general rule don’t fucking do that.

Do not tell your employer shit about your mental or physical health except for the bare minimum needed to request a reasonable accommodation. Even your nice boss can fire you, even your nice boss can unfairly change your working conditions, and even your nice boss at some point is probably going to face pressure from their superiors.

I’m not saying don’t trust your boss with anything ever. I’m just saying that anytime you are in the workplace you need to keep your private information private. You can still have a good relationship with your boss. Your workplace can still be pleasant. But if it ever feels like disclosing private information is required in order to have a good relationship with your boss, please see that as a red flag.

[karuuhnia]

TF2 Chapter 7 - Karuuhnia's analysis

Christmas came early for the TF2 fandom this year, didn't it? (Well, it really came 7 years LATE if we're completely honest lol)

It was an emotional rollercoaster and had a happy, wholesome ending and conclusion for both the mercs and for us. Several mysteries from the past comics were resolved.

And you know me: I love to overthink and overanalyze every bit of lore and story that I can get my fingers on lmao

So here's my essay:

A) Solved mysteries

1. What the Administrator was planning

It turns out: There WAS no evil plan of world domination or whatever. Just pure hatred for a man who ruined her life - apparently. It's been so long she doesn't even remember the reason. But the thought of revenge was enough to fuel her every life choice.

And to think, it all could have ended in the 1850s already - if it weren't for smart-ass Gray Mann and his narcissistic tendencies to brag about his knowledge and plans. (How he himself figured this out is never explained.)

He was the one who introduced the Administrator to Australium in the first place, around 1850ish. If he hadn't told her that it could bring people back from the dead and prolong life, the senseless Gravel War would have ended with Blutarch's and Redmond's natural deaths.

Well, on the other hand we must be glad that the conflict didn't go on even longer.

Since Dell stated that none of his family members ever went into the room where Zepheniah was kept, the Administrator must have build all of that herself, right? That would certainly explain why it looks so crude and consumes so much Australium. I mean, look at this construction and then compare it to the one Dell built:

The Mark 5 machine gave her ~6 months of life for just a tiny flask of Australium. Imagine what would have happened if one of the Conaghers had improved Zeph's machine as well! She could have kept the zombiefied corpse in a living nightmare for many centuries more instead of burning through tons and tons of Australium so quickly. Good thing it didn't come to that.

2. Who helped the Administrator

Well, we didn't get a clear answer, but I think it's safe to conclude now that it was the Administrator's elite merc teams A-E that obtained all the Australium during the 6 months Miss Pauling and the TF2 team went off the grid. Which only further proves that the Administrator did not really care for Pauling at all and only came to her and her "team of rejects" as a last resort, after everything else had failed.

It's really heartbreaking how much Pauling admired her and wanted to be her trusted second-in-command while the Admin apparently never even invited her to the secret HQ. Nobody there even KNEW of Team Fortress after all. It was such a relief to see Pauling let go in the end and choose a free life instead.

3. Scout's second chance

Well, not really a mystery here, but I really like how Scout had an epiphany that there were other girls out there that would like him as he was and moved on from Miss Pauling. There was no heartbreak, no animosity, no rejection. They are still friends and support each other! I love it!

And then Scout even saved all of humanity by having sex with several women so that God wouldn't have to destroy the world! What a great, selfless guy he is!

I really love Spy and Scout after the time skip. No more bickering, no more annoyance, no more mean comments, just kindness. Spy is also so sweet to his grandchildren! ADSGFSDAF

I hope they all remain in contact and on good terms. Because let's not forget: Scout's health isn't good and he even has a confirmed death date. Which is only 8 years into the future of 1979.

All of his orphaned children would still be minors at that point. When it comes to that I hope Spy and Scout's Ma can take care of their grandchildren.

4. What Charles Darling and Maggie were planning

Darling stated he wanted to obtain Australium in order to make his rare animals immortal and in return he would get Saxton's company back.

The way Maggie always reacted to Saxton led me to believe she knew Darling was planning something ELSE and she felt bad for not telling Saxton and having to betray him in the end:

But turns out, I probably just misinterpreted Maggie's facial expressions. She looked so sad because she loved going on adventures with Saxton again and just hated the thought that he'd go back to Mann Co. afterwards.

I'm very happy that in the end Saxton let go of the company and spent the rest of his days punching wild animals with his true love! (Although he might have started a war again, now between Reddy and Bidwell lol)

B) Unsolved and new mysteries

However, as much as I loved the last chapter, I feel there are still a lot of things that were never cleared up or adequately explained.

So after re-reading every single comic and update page these are some other things I still find inconclusive:

1. Olivia Mann's mother

Not really that important to be fair, but still: Is she really the biological daughter of the 150 old mummy Gray Mann? If so, who is the poor woman who… mated with him and where is she now?

Or was Olivia adopted, abducted or grown in a lab? Well, at least she gets to live a happy and free life now and is provided for by the dad who stepped up. Good on you, Saxton!

2. Darling's knowledge

Back to Darling real quick: Why DID Maggie start working for her nemesis?

HOW did Charles Darling learn about Australium's properties and the Administrator's history?

There is also the fact that the Mann triplets' mother was a Darling!

These things were never brought up again! Whyyyyyyyy?????

3. What was all the set-up with the TFC mercs about?

The TFC mercs made several ominous remarks that made us believe there was more to them:

Both Virgil and Greg were trying to say something interesting, but then got cut off before the revelation. And especially TFC Heavy talked about dying as if it was an immediate danger to all of them. Sure, they were old, but they were still going strong, being able to kill all of the Admin's elite teams after all.

4. Fred's destiny (and identity?)

In Chapter 6 Spy disguised as Fred, trying to trick Virgil. After being found out, the two had this conversation:

Spy managed to impersonate Fred really well apparently. That means he must have studied Fred's personality, mannerisms and way of speaking before he went to Virgil. That also means he must have spent quite a while talking to and studying Fred. Did he and Sniper capture and interrogate him? But more importantly: What happened afterwards? Tbh, they probably just killed him off-screen after learning what they needed.

Because I no longer believe that Fred was Dell's father, as much as that sucks. It would have made for a great plot point and possible conflict within the team.

But Fred obviously had no idea about anything related to Australium or the immortality machines.

Since later on in Chapter 7 Dell says that neither his grandfather, his father nor he himself ever set foot in that basement, we can conclude that they all knew that the Administrator was hiding something nefarious down there. Which also means they WORKED for her and thus must have also worked on her immortality machine. So it makes no sense that Fred would not know anything about that if he really were Dell's father.

That still leaves us with the question: Why was young Fred in the photo with child Dell? Or WAS this guy even Fred?

I mean, a lot can happen in 40ish years between those two pictures:

But my new headcanon now is: These two are not the same person. TFC Medic had to replaced by our beloved Dr. Herbert Ludwig (still not over that name btw lmao), so who says the original TFC Engie wasn't replaced too at one point? TFC Heavy was very obviously worried about his friends dying one after the other.

Virgil said he knew Fred since before the war. So maybe after Dell's father died/left the team, Virgil told TFC Heavy about his old comrade Fred who also happened to be an Engineer. And only then Fred became part of TFC.

But as I said, that's just my headcanon. In reality it's probably just an inconsistency over the many years of convoluted lore. lol

5. Soldier's cave, covered in Australium

In A Cold Day in Hell Soldier and Zhanna have the following conversation:

First it's a stink-barn, then he claims to be homeless. But in Chapter 7 Heavy suddenly says that Soldier lives in a cave.

And it turns out there is tons of Australium in that cave! Now of course I wonder: When did Soldier move into that cave and where is it located? We were always told that Australium only exists in Australia. But I highly doubt this American patriot owns a cave in Australia. Also, how is it possible that the Admin and the elite mercs never managed to find this cave? Did they just not bother to look in America because all known Australium is in Australia?

So in return, does that mean that Australium is NOT exclusive to Australia after all? If so, there could still be hidden caches of the stuff anywhere on Earth. At least the Admin and Gray Mann are no longer around to collect it and Miss Pauling does not look for it anymore either. The only one who still has an interest in it is Charles Darling. Him again...

6. Soldier with the photo of the Mann family

Quick reminder: This is the only version of the family photo we'd seen up until this point:

But when Soldier and Merasmus are held by the mafia and the wizard asks him why he needed so much money, Soldier pulls out an intact, unteared photograph of the Mann family!!!

His thumb conveniently covers up the still unknown person standing in the middle. How did Soldier obtain this photo? How does he even know who everyone is, considering he's, well, Soldier?

Could he have any relations to the unknown person in the middle? And why DOES he need so much money (granted, it was only like 20 $ in the end, but still lol)?

Am I just overthinking this? Has anyone an explanation??? Is he and if yes, HOW is Soldier connected to the frigging Mann family??????

*cough* Anyway. This concludes my analysis of the TF2 lore. For now. If I come up with more things or if Valve ever decides to continue the story (That was a joke, haha, fat chance), I will come back to this. In the meantime, thank you for reading this and please feel free to share your own ideas and opinions! I'd love to read all of it! ❤️

[sturn5iolo]

DREAM MAKER & HEARTBREAKER

synopsis: chris had been ignoring you so you show up to a party looking for him, just for him to be with another girl.

pairing: frat boy! chris sturniolo x f!reader

warnings: drinking, angstish??, “no strings attached”relationship, not proofread

mellys note!!: this plot came up in my head while i listened to the song “moon river” by frank ocean… why?? idk? so enjoy

the sound of music blasted in your ears. you were at a frat party, mainly for chris. you knew he was going to be there. you and chris have been an off and on situationship, you knew you loved him. but did he love you?

you walked around trying to look for him, sparing a “hi” to anybody who came up to you but quickly walking away. you were so desperate to find chris because he had been ignoring you for a good few days and something in you made you feel weird. a pit in your stomach bothering you, telling you to look for him.

passing through all the drunken people who stench of alcohol and weed, you finally made it to the living room. your eyes wandered until it made it to the couch. there was chris.

but he wasn’t alone, a skinny brunette girl sat on his lap. her fingers ran through his hair, her other hand resting on his chest as he whispered something in her ear that caused her to laugh. you saw the way his lips tickled her ear, the way his hands stayed on her thighs and the way they laughed and conversed together.

jealousy started seeping out of you, but you stayed in place. your teeth dug into the insides of your cheek and your eyes watered. why were you so upset about this? you question in your head over and over.

you quickly pivot and start to go towards the kitchen counter. there you start to mix all types of drinks into a red solo cup, not even caring about how you will feel the next day. all that you could think about was chris and the random girl.

the alcohol went down your throat quickly and gave you a quick burning sensation. you winced at the taste but you just wanted the drunk feeling.

1 drink turned into 3 into 5 into too many you forgot to count. after taking probably your 9th cup, you hear someone talk to you. “think you’ve had enough?” a deep voice spoke, you look to your side, it was one of chris’ frat brothers. “ohhh heyyy! honestly no i think i need more.” you hiccup out.

before you can grab a cup, chris’ frat bro takes it away. “nope chris will kill me if i let you.” you roll your eyes, “ugh why should he care! he’s with that other girl.” the guy looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed and then chuckles, “damn girl your wasted.”

not even letting him say something else, you turn around and start walking away, not wanting to continue this conversation. somehow you made it outside, the cold wind hit you like the speed of light making you shiver a bit. you sit down on the curb of the sidewalk.

“need some company?” a familiar voice questioned you, chris. your roll your eyes once again and choose to ignore him. you hear him grunt as he sits next to you, “what do you want?” you slur. “well i heard your drunk and alone so i knew i had to find you.”

you twist your head and look at him. you haven’t seen him up close in a few days so you take in his features, and the way they glow by the moonlight. “whatever, go back to that girl you were with.” you whisper but he had still heard you. chris’ tongue glides over his teeth as he nods. “what you jealous?”

you scoff at him, “of course i was chris…how could you ignore me for days then go off flirting with her.” you say “we aren’t official..” chris tries defending himself.

at this point your speechless, you knew he was right so what’s the point on fighting back on this? you both go quiet not having anything else to say to each other.

you stand up very quickly, making you wobble a bit almost losing your balance. “welp im going to head back home! no point of having me here.” you quietly say the last part. chris stands up with you, “did you drive here yourself?” he questions you genuinely curious. you nod at him and try to walk away.

chris grabs your arm, “then no your not. you’re not driving back yourself.” you groan at him, “im not going anywhere with you?!” crossing your arms and standing in place. he rolls his eyes at you and bends his knees. you look at him confused until you feel yourself being lifted off the ground. the quick action made you dizzy, chris held you bridal style and started walking towards his car.

“put me down!” you whined out to him, but he ignored you. unlocking his car and putting you in the passenger seat. he reached over and grabbed the seatbelt buckling you in, “your so damn stubborn all the time jesus.”

[thatswhatsushesaid]

if i had a nickel for every time i encountered some version of the following observation in the mdzs fandom:

"i'll never understand why fans of jin guangyao and jiang cheng and xue yang keep insisting on defending these characters' virtues. you can just admit that your favourite characters are assholes and terrible people. it's fine. why are you defending them."

i could probably buy myself a packet of some really sick edibles the next time i hit up the dispensary. but more to the point, what truly frustrates me about this observation (aside from the implicit arrogance that seems smugly baked into it every time i stumble upon it) is how completely it misunderstands what villain and antagonist fans are doing when we discuss the positive attributes of our favourite characters. it's the assumption that what we're doing must always be about defence, about arguments, about insisting that the characters we like are Good, Actually, And Here's Why--when in reality i have never, ever, ever encountered a fan of any of these characters who has been interested in definitively declaring that any of them are good or bad people. like that just straight up hasn't been part of the conversations we've been having with each other.

like, what you are interpreting as us "defending a character's virtues" is very often just us literally stating how the characters' actions have had a positive impact on other characters' lives, or the world more broadly. or we are just trying to compare acts of cruelty/violence committed by one of these characters vs the acts of cruelty/violence committed by the protagonist and his inner circle, to draw inferences about one or both characters, to better understand them and the story and how they illustrate various themes, whether mxtx meant for them to appear in the text or not. it's just... analysis. and yes, a core competency when it comes to literary analysis means being able to critically defend your arguments using examples from the source material.

jokes about the jgy or jc stans and "defence squads" aside, it's not about defending individual characters, because the characters don't need a defence, because they're not real. but the work we've all collectively put into examining these characters, and contextualizing their actions within their circumstances within the source material, is certainly real, and it makes sense that we'd want to step up and defend our work when people who disagree with us choose to misrepresent our arguments.

[rivertalesien]

A lot of ideas can co-exist.

There are activists on Tumblr. Some have been "activated" online. They've grown up on Tumblr. Tumblr is a default location for so many to try and urge others to act on their own best interests. There's no better way to use Tumblr than through fandoms.

That means the bad faith operators use them, too.

We've seen radicalizing in fandoms for years. Terfs do it, fascists do it.

One of the ways they have been particularly effective is in shutting down any conversation they don't want people to have. And it has worked. There are outcroppings in every social media sphere where people are: NO POLITICS. NO LGBTQ TALK. NO GENOCIDE TALK. NO BAD STUFF. PERIOD. No one wants to go through the drama of sorting it all out. It's been traumatizing for a lot of people. Cutting everything potentially problematic back is one way of dealing with the problem and making sure nothing toxic starts to take hold again.

There's upsides to that and some downsides: how people have been radicalized says a lot. I know some folks just want to get the revolution started and think banging heads together out here will do it.

So there's folks who have grown up here to reject that, fight against it and try to push others toward "action" without ever really being able to define what that "action" should be. There's folks who don't even realize they're desperation for "action" turns them off the folks who do not want anymore trauma. When you're deep in that mindset, you're not much better than a troll, really, and about as effective.

Yes, mental health/physical trauma is a real and valid reason some folks will not engage with political content of any kind.

Want to be an effective activist?

Online is never where it is at. You are simply not going to move people here. It won't happen. The need for the protective bubble is just too strong. You can use your platform to spread information, activist activities that are happening offline or specific ways people can help themselves and others, which people can then choose to participate in by sharing with their circles. That's it. That's what you can do here. If something goes viral here, it won't be because you pushed it on folks, judged them. Made them feel bad. People have to walk by themselves. They can't be forced along.

If you really need to feel some movement in the world, get involved locally. Join a school board. Library board. Volunteer at food banks, community gardens. Setup a booth at the mall or other community location and learn how to engage with people directly. More people will just walk on by, but once in a while, someone will come up to you and really want to know what's up. It doesn't feel rewarding or cinematically revolutionary, but that's how it's done. You can't start with a massive audience from day one. It's one to one to one to one until there are ten. Until there are twenty. Until there are a hundred.

If you need to go a step further, help a labor union. Join the picket lines. Encourage others to join unions. That's big right now and an effective way forward.

And don't forget that a huge part of what is going on in this world is a lack of compassion. A lack of humanity toward others. Everyone needs it. We need love and gentleness and kindness. If your activism doesn't start there, it won't end there. You may not believe it because you live in your own bubble of Rightness. If you think other people's suffering justifies you being a dick, you're not helping them. Donate to their GFMs. Encourage others to. Kindly. *That* helps.

Online is where we archive. Where we keep track. Where people find solidarity in the things that keep them going. That keep our humanity intact. That's the best of it. The worst is when we stomp around on it and tell others how they should feel and how they should live. That's not activism. That's policing. If there's one thing activism should never involve, it's policing others.

I'm a good twenty-odd years in this game now. I work in my community and my state and I'm telling you: you're not going to change the world online. The movements you have seen that seem to arise and build awareness? Online was incidental. It wasn't what made it happen. Bitching at people for "not caring enough" not sharing enough trauma posts or what not, is not what makes change happen. Nobody knows you. You're a stranger who walked into their house and told them YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG and only added to their own trauma. It's not helping anyone at all.

PS: people talk politics all the time. They just might not be talking about it with you. For a very good reason.

Humble yourself a little. It won't hurt.

We need all of us in this time. Set a better example. Let people come to you. Go out and meet your neighbors. People need connection, not judgement. That's how this works.

I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.

Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.

Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.

[highbabyofthenightcourt]

If i may add my input on the subject, i would like to talk about Feyre's pregnancy and the surrounding controversy.

While i completely understand the people who have felt upset about Rhysand and the others not telling Feyre, i also understand why they did not. As for the claims that Rhysand wanted an heir out of his mate, and did not care about her life, i think they are absolutely ridiculous.

Rhysand was the one to correct Feyre when she believed that she owed a child as a high lord's wife. He is the one who told her that she owes him nothing. He did not have to do that when she already believed she had no choice. Rhysand made sure Feyre knew she ALWAYS had a choice.

Furthermore, the risk was not only to Feyre's life but also to the child's. Rhys would have lost the two most important beings in his life. He did not have a personal gain in this.

While i do not fully support the fact that he did not tell her, by the time he discovered the risks there was nothing Feyre could do about them. Even if she decided to nullify the pregnancy, at the stage she was in she would have still had to go through the process which could kill her. We are also aware of the consequences excessive stress can have on pregnancy.

Rhysand was trying his best to bear the burden until he found a solution. If he had thought there was a slight possibility that Feyre could solve the issue, he would have obviously told her right away. Maybe he didn't do the right thing, maybe it would have been better if she knew. But he never did what he did out of malice. He never had anything but love towards his wife. And even Madja advises him to not mention it until until later.

He begs on his knees for Helion to help, while the rest of the inner circle looks for answers. Rhysand's whole world is Feyre. I do not believe he would choose to live on if he lost her.

I think it is important that we remember that Rhysand and Feyre are the reason why the series succeeded. Their love is the beginning and end of these books. Those who know them, know their hearts are good.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, but i needed to say this for my sanity.

[l-starsz]

a/n: i know christmas was yesterday and this is probably a very silly little fic but oh well🙂

christmas day. i woke up excited. i was spending the day with my family, and billie had left me some presents to open. i was most excited to give my family their presents and to open my presents, especially the ones from my girlfriend. we spent the morning opening presents and just spending time together.

billie got me the most beautiful presents, i made sure that she didn’t get me loads or anything expensive because honestly the perfect christmas gift would’ve been just spending the day with her and the people i love. i wanted to get her presents though, and she argued that if i was getting her presents then she should be allowed to get me some.

we couldn’t spend christmas together since we were gonna be with our families all day. although i loved spending time with my family, i missed my girl. i wanted her there. i’d been so happy all day, but a tiny part of me just felt slight sadness because i missed her. and that feeling started growing larger as the day went on.

after a long day, i was sat in a quiet area on my own, i was exhausted, and a wave of sadness washed over me. why did i feel like this? i’d had such a good day and i still felt sad. i was surrounded by so many people who loved me, yet i still felt so lonely. i stayed there thinking about my feelings for a little while before i couldn’t take it any longer.

i quickly walked out of the room, rushing upstairs to the bathroom and letting small tears run down my cheeks. my makeup was getting ruined. how did i feel so sad on such a good day? why? i just let the tears run down my face until i was sobbing. that was when i decided i needed her. i’d needed her all day, but i was at my breaking point. i couldn’t take the feeling any longer.

i opened my phone and went to billies contact as quick as i could. once my thumb was hovering over the call button, i hesitated. i didn’t want to ruin her day just because i was sad. what if i ended up ruining her whole christmas. i didn’t want to do that. but she told me to call her if i needed anything. i didn’t know if this counted. i didn’t want to disturb her time with her family.

i sat there for almost 10 minutes trying to make up my mind, but in the end i called. i couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever, and i couldn’t show my face while i was crying, the only way to help was to talk to her. small sobs left my mouth as the phone rang. i didn’t think she’d answer since i knew she was busy. but after a few rings, i heard her voice down the phone.

“hey angel, how’s things going? you having a good day hm?” her voice was gentle and caring, which made me miss her more.

“billieee.” i cried out as i tried to calm myself down, fingers playing with the fabric of my shirt.

“oh baby, what happened? why are you crying?” she spoke even softer, trying to comfort me through the phone.

i took a deep breath in and managed to calm down a little as i spoke.

“i feel really lonely billie. and i don’t know why. i’m surrounded by people who love me yet i still feel so sad and lonely. i wish you were with me.” i sniffled.

i was starting to get calmer since i was hearing her voice and it felt like she was here. it felt like she was closer.

“if you need me to come and pick you up right now you know i will.”

“but i don’t wanna just randomly leave when i’m meant to be spending time with my family. and i don’t wanna disturb your day by being sad.” i mumbled.

obviously i wanted her to come and get me, but i felt guilty.

“you are not disturbing anything. you can’t help feeling sad. you didn’t choose to feel this way my love. i just want to be here to give you all my love and support. how about we change our plans a little, yeah?”

“thank you.” i whispered, my voice breaking again as i spoke, “and what do you mean? how?”

“do you think it’ll help if i come and pick you up a little later tonight? then people will be leaving and you’ve spent time with them, i’ve spent time with my family, and then you can come here and spend the rest of your night with me and my family. does that sound good?” she spoke calmly down the phone.

“are you sure bil? will your family mind? do you mind?” i didn’t even realise i was asking so many questions.

“i wouldn’t of said it if it was a problem baby. i promise you that we want you here. i’ve been missing you all day too and i’d love if you could come over.”

i thought about it for a minute and then happily accepted. how could i say no? we spoke for a few more minutes before ending the call. i looked in the mirror to clean my makeup up a little bit, making myself look presentable once again before going back to where everyone was.

we all spoke for a little bit before i quickly told my mum that billie would be picking me to soon. surprisingly, she said that was fine, and although it felt like i was waiting for years, she showed up soon enough. as soon as i opened the door, i practically jumped into her arms and buried my face in her neck. she spun me around and held me close, making me giggle.

she came in to speak to my family for a little bit, then we went outside to her car. once we were in, we just sat there for a minute.

“i’ve missed you so much billie.”

we hadn’t had much time to see eachother that week. going from seeing eachother everyday to barely for an hour a day was difficult. it was only for the week of christmas since things were so busy for both of us, but it was still difficult.

“i missed you way more angel.”

“that’s impossible.” i mumbled as she began driving us to her house.

once we got there, i greeted her family and then we went to her room for a little bit. we laid in bed together as i relaxed in her arms. my head was hiding in her neck. my hands were holding on tight to her shirt. we stayed like that for a few hours, talking the whole time. everything felt peaceful with her.

eventually, maggie walked in the room.

“hey do you girls wanna watch a movie with us?”

i looked up at billie, then at maggie and i nodded. obviously billie agreed too and we went downstairs. i had a blanket wrapped around my shoulders to keep me warm. we cuddled up in the corner of the sofa as the movie started. throughout the movie, everyone chatted a little quietly to eachother, and before i knew it i was fast asleep in billies arms whilst the movie was still playing. i didn’t feel so lonely now.

(unfortunately yes i did still feel incredibly lonely on christmas even though i was surrounded by people who love me so um yeah that’s what gave me the inspiration for this😶)

[voidscreechingonathursday]

Okay but what makes Glinda's and Fiyero's relationship truly tragic to me is that they are so so similar, but despite that they never really understood one another. They had similarities, yes, and throughout the story they both grow into stronger and wiser people who at the end choose good, but Fiyero was too impulsive and Glinda too scared for them to be able to team up in any real sense. They have a parallel arc, but they are never in the same place (Fiyero was actually ahead of Glinda in a way). The only person who understood them and was there with them during it all was Elphaba. SHE is what connects them.

So I came up with this thought while calculating the influx of neurotransmitters in a cell and-

(Please tell me you see the vision bc I feel insane)