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remcycl333 · 3 years ago

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you don’t need to be happy to be manifest!! but...

who doesn’t want to be happy?

(long post alert, sorry in advance lol. but please read it all the way through, i really think it’ll be worth it<3)

ok, to preface this, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. i’ve manifested great, positive things while i was in depressive episodes. i manifested wonderful things with tears streaming down my face. BUT, i think something a lot of people overlook is that it’s really beneficial to feel positively about your desires.

this is something i realized a few months ago, saw great results from, and then forgot all about and, well, stopped seeing the progress i wanted. but i’m back on track now, don’t you worry.

(i’m going to be using the example of my sp, bc that’s what i have the most experience with, but this applies to literally anything u r manifesting)

i’ve made a few other posts saying pretty much what i’m about to say in this next paragraph, so if you’ve already read those, i’m sorry for repeating myself. just bear with me lol.

so i came to a realization a few months ago--and i don’t exactly remember how i came to this realization--that i kind of...hated my sp? like i fucking resented him. and i was like, wait a minute, that’s not right. i love my sp. that’s why i’m trying to manifest him! so why do i feel like this?

i used to focus on manifesting in steps, so naturally the first step was contact. so i’d be affirming all day every day “my sp is texting me right fucking now😡“ (and other variations) and then when he didn’t text me, it’d just make me angry at him. but technically, he didn’t even do anything wrong?? sure he didn’t text me, but he had no clue he was supposed to? idk it was all complicated and weird. and then when i wasn’t mad that he didn’t text me, i was having arguments with him in my head, preparing for some weird fight that my brain just assumed was going to happen whenever we did get into contact. which is weird, bc my sp and i never fight. like, this is my ex. yet i literally cannot tell you a single fight that we have ever had. we literally get along perfectly. we have never fought (or even argued) once in all the time that we’ve known each other. yet my brain was always fighting him. and it was just, exhausting?

and so one day, when i was troubleshooting, i realized: rem, if you were in a relationship right now with your sp, would u hate him? would u be constantly fighting with him? god i fucking hope not!

now, what would i be thinking? i’d be laying in bed at night, hugging my pillow, thinking about how much i love him. reflecting on how happy he makes me, how perfect he is, how good he makes me feel. i’d be thinking about how he is the most perfect boyfriend i could ever have asked for. i’d be content after spending a long day with him, excited to spend the next day with him as well.

and during the day i wouldn’t be wondering why he wasn’t texting me. if anything, i’d be wondering why he was texting me considering we were literally hanging out, together, at that very moment!

i would trust him. i’d be walking on cloud nine. i’d be content. i’d be...happy.

now, in no way am i saying that you need to be happy 24/7, or dancing on air, or feeling intense butterflies in your stomach. you’re allowed to have other emotions. you’re allowed to feel anger, you’re allowed to break down and cry! you’re allowed to have bad days. but if you’re feeling these negative emotions about your desire, i want you to try your hardest to release them. i don’t think any of us want to have breakdowns over our manifestations and cry about them, but if it happens, it happens. just pick yourself up afterwards--or stop it before it even really begins, trust me, it gets easier to do this--and maybe do a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, and remind yourself why you’re on this journey in the first place. once again using the sp example, it’s because you love your sp. because they are perfect for you! they make you happy. you love their smile, their laugh, the witty conversations you have with each other. you love being in their arms. you love when they’re in your arms! they did something that made you fall in love with them, or want to be in a relationship with them. what was it? focus on that.

enough with the sammy ingram (i could go on a whole rant about her) style affirmations. with the “he’s going to fucking text me, he has no choice, he’s my fucking boyfriend and he does what i say.” like....ew?? i used to say shit like this, and it was really what started making me resent my sp. i was ordering him around in my head, creating this weird dynamic between us (which, he wasn’t even aware was there), and getting mad when he wasn’t doing what i was ordering him to do. looking back, it was borderline psychotic. it was just turning it into me against him, and that’s not what i wanted at all. i want to be in a relationship with him, with mutual love. i don’t want to be his boss, or his mom, or his fucking military sergeant!! (i don’t even know if that was the proper term bc fuck the military, but u guys know what i mean lmfaooo)

(disclaimer if u use these types of affirmations and they work for you, go for it. but i used them for a while and they just weren’t it for me. carry on)

i guess what i’m trying to say is, those affirmations weren’t making me feel good. they weren’t making me feel like a “boss ass bitch”. they were making me feel...like a bitch. and strangely, powerless. i’d say these affirmations, or just bland ones where i wasn’t necessarily demanding my sp to throw himself at my feet and kiss my shoes and tell me he is nothing without me, and ultimately, if i wasn’t feeling resentment, i was feeling...nothing.

once again, i want to make this so so so clear, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. but my belief? if your affirmations aren’t making you feel joy, or excitement, or contentment, then what’s the fucking point? if you think of your desire, and don’t feel positive feelings about it, then you might have lost your way a little.

don’t worry!! it’s an easy fix. easy, and even...fun? rewarding? comforting? i just want you to take some time--laying in bed at night is the perfect time to do this in my experience--to think about why you want your desire so badly. do you want money? think of how great life is going to be once you have it. of all the stuff you’re going to buy, for yourself, and maybe even for others. don’t focus on the problems you want to fix with it right now. think of that clothing item you’ve had your eye on, or that book you’ve been wanting to read but haven’t felt like “wasting” money on. think of how excited you are to buy those things, because you’re going to! think of the good. not the bad.

remember: you create more of what you focus on. focus on the good, get the good. focus more on the bad...get more of the bad.

your manifestation is done. it is created. it is on it’s way to you. it is here! all there’s left to do is feel excited. it’ll be here any moment now, how fucking exciting is that! it’s safe for you to be happy. it’s safe for you to focus on the feelings you would have if you had it, rather than focus on affirming specifically to bring it to you. it is safe to be happy.

i used to affirm solely for contact, all day every day, and sometimes i’d get it. but it’d be short lived, my sp would be distant, etc. but then once i started focusing on truly living in the end and basking in my love for my sp, thinking about how perfect and amazing he is, i not only got contact (without having to specifically affirm for it), but he was actively engaged in our conversations, making up new topics to keep the conversation going, asking me about and expressing interest in my hobbies and interests, bringing up and reminiscing on old memories of our previous relationship, complimenting me, flirting with me, asking me to hang out, etc. shit i was not getting when i was “he is so fucking in love with me and he’s texting me right fucking now”-ing all day long. i started focusing on how amazing and perfect and good to me he was, and that’s exactly what i got in my reality. who would’ve thunk?

and you know what? yeah, he fucking loves me. he misses me and he wants to be with me. but that’s a given. but that doesn’t fucking matter. i am the only person who matters in my reality!! sure he loves me, but do i love him??? that’s what the universe wants to know. that’s what truly fucking matters. the universe brings me my desires. so i’m gonna fucking desire it!

guys, please trust me on this. just try it out, with whatever you’re manifesting. this could be what you’re missing. this could bring your manifestation to you. i promise, if you’re like i was and feel resententment or anger or hatred towards your desire, this is going to make you feel so fucking good. just stick with this for a week or two. i promise, you’ll see movement.

and remember, there is no one to change but self. don’t change them (or it), change your perception of them (or it).

let’s make manifesting fun again!!! it’s the perfect tool to bring happiness into your life. so fucking let it!!!!

so no, you don’t need to be happy in order to manifest. but....maybe, just maybe, prioritizing your happiness isn’t such a bad thing. i mean, who doesn’t want to be happy?

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago

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I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

#sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #izzy lightwood #lightwood siblings #clizzy if u squint #beauty and the beast au #part 2 i guess lmao #ask #shum-baby #long post #abuse mention

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 5 years ago

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y’know i think the whole reason i haven’t been bothered to start dating is bc over the years, i’ve just become comfortable with being on my own all the time. like I don’t feel the pressure to always have a partner and I feel like if I ever start dating at any point..... I don’t feel like i’d easily forget who i am and just make myself 1000% like that person. like obvs i have absolutely no idea whether that’d happen or not.

but I just feel like i won’t.... like i would’ve if I’d started dating much much earlier, like in high school, for example.... where i ended up posting a “im so lonely and sick of being single” etc type status at one point.... partly bc i was really lonely at 16 and also bc well... as a joke bc everyone had to post at least one of those statuses during high school lmao.

then there’s also me not just throwing myself at any chance to get fucked by creepy guys like “let me give you sex lessons in the back of my car” guy or bar creeper weasel mcfuck guy..... all because of the pressure that those fucking creepy dudes were giving me bc i kept refusing their advances.... and i also refused to just fuck anyone bc that’s just what you’re supposed to do in your late teens (sex lessons guy) and well into your 20s (bar creeper weasel mcfuck guy) apparently. but no. i have my fucking standards. and those creeps didn’t fucking meet them. so i had every fucking right to continually reject them and stay single.

and besides the point, im just so used to being on my own now that if someone came in to be my partner; they’d have to be fucking okay with me being me.... and except that i won’t give myself up entirely to become exactly like them or whatever. I know who I am (mostly) and why should I fucking sacrifice that for some stupid ass dude????

and also now, i will never take the dumbass line of “oh I’ll fix this dude bc he’s so broken and that’ll fix me too!!!” like i thought when i was depressed and anxious in 2011 and had a really bad and kind of obsessive crush on one of the hella popular dudes in my year at catholic school. because i now know that love doesn’t fix people fully. and if any dude pulls that act on me, im happy to fucking leave as soon possible. because it’s his job to fix himself through therapy with a fucking professional therapist; and not some random woman that they pick up off of a dating app’s responsibility.... to pick up his broken pieces and build him up and all that bullshit that shitty dudes I know share on fb all the time.

anyway yeah. my point is that im happy on my own now bc im so used to being single.... that if I ever started dating I wouldn’t forget who I am and think that I have to completely change myself for the sake of the other person and become exactly like them; like I would’ve when I was younger. and that i also just feel comfortable being single now and that it’d be so strange to have a partner that likes me lmao.... but they’d have to accept me as i am bc I’ve accepted who i am and I won’t change (mostly) for anyone, other than for myself.

like yes I know you change in relationships... and that you learn different things about yourself and other people during the time you spent in those relationships. and I also know that you learn skills like negotiation and compromise etc in relationships. but you also learn 1,000 things about yourself when you don’t date too early...... and don’t fall into the pressure of “hook up culture” that’s so hardly pushed on people from 18-25, bc of tinder becoming huge in the 2010s. you learn 1000 things from all the different people you reject because you realise that you have standards; and that those said people don’t meet them (even if they seem ridiculous to other people). you learn that you’ve kept yourself safe from people that don’t give a fuck about you. you also learn relationship skills in this process as well.

like I learnt from my stalker in 2012, that I could do far better than him and all of his abusive/controlling behaviours and tendencies.... and his constant habit of painting me as a weak and defenceless woman that he had to save & protect all the time. on his side however, i was basically his manic pixie dream girl who had to fix him instead. I learnt from him that neither of those archetypes were desirable to base a relationship on. after all, i was on the road to fix myself.... and if I’d let this bs get to an actual relationship..... i knew it would’ve damn near killed me, and not him.

i knew that “I’ll give you sex lessons in the back of my car” dude was a cunt in 2014...... bc not only did he not care about my sexual safety and not accept any of my refusals for his said “sex lessons”..... he did not respect that i wanted to be called by my either of my names, and not the names that he deemed to be “much easier and more respectful” to have..... because they were both typical white girl names (Gwen or Alannah instead of gwladys or ilona). and then, obviously, he was one of the many guys that were angry at me bc i refused to lose my virginity by 15 like “normal people”. I knew that a decent dude would accept that I wanted to be called by MY ACTUAL FUCKING NAME/S and not ones suggested by them so they could deem me “more socially acceptable” to them. I knew that a respectful dude wouldn’t give me the “you should’ve fucked someone by the time you were 15!!” etc etc lecture that this fuckwad gave me.

I learnt from bar creeper weasel mcfuck in 2017, that again, I could do far better.... but also that his behaviours were fucking creepy and not normal. because surely no honest & decent man would try to confiscate/steal etc a fucking grown woman’s phone in a bar/pub just because she keeps refusing his kisses/grindings on the dancefloor????? and also feels the need to escape his shitty behaviour???? and also because he was angry at her bc she rang someone else to take her home.... instead of wanting to go back to his place???? like a decent dude would accept those choices, right???

I knew by this time that his behaviour of constantly separating me from my friends so that they couldn’t see/hear his disgusting comments and behaviour was manipulative as fuck.... as much as his overly forceful tendency that night; to try and get me to smile and try to control my behaviour to make it look like I was “having fun” on his terms, and not mine..... with comments like: “why the fuck don’t you fucking smile??? why the fuck don’t you look like you’re having a good time??? fucking smile for me bitch!” I knew by 22, that this was toxic fucking behaviour and not a behaviour that I wanted in lover/partner. I knew that if I couldn’t tolerate this treatment during that entire night... then I couldn’t tolerate it for an entire relationship.

I knew in literally the first 3 minutes of talking to him.... where I was supposed to let him look at my phone over my shoulder all the time... while I was banned from looking at his phone except from adding him on fb..... and that he expected me not to be offended by demeaning comments about me doing an arts degree.... but I was then supposed to wholly support him wanting to “study fashion” when he literally dressed like he’d rolled out of a fucking dumpster in the 2000s..... and literally fucking smelt like it as well.... and other troubling shit that I’ve written whole novel-length posts about on this hellsite about him lmao. but you get my point. I knew in these few first minutes to an hour, that he was not someone that I’d like to sleep with/have a relationship with etc etc. we just didn’t fucking mesh. he disgusted me. and I infuriated him by just existing and wanting to leave him behind without a “girl to score with” that night.

I knew I deserved better than him, despite his godawful comments and behaviour and his ultimate belief that I’d stoop so low to go home with him that night and fuck him.... and let him treat me like shit (bc i was scared of him that whole night tbh) for the whole time he did so, was fucking laughable. no. I will not fuck you, man who thinks it’s attractive to tell a woman that “I just can’t help but grab your pussy in that dress!!! bc you’re soooo sexy in that dress! it’s your fault you’re so sexy in that dress!!! fucking kiss me! why the fuck won’t you kiss me???!”. i knew deep down in myself that I could do so much fucking better than him and that i should never go home with a dude that treats me like im 16 and not 22 (at the time). I knew that I would never feel or be safe around this guy, with the way he wanted to confiscate/steal my phone from me and practically leave me completely stranded with him all night... to enforce some monitoring of my behaviour on his watch only, and not mine.

so. to conclude. don’t listen to anyone who tells you that the only way you learn about life is when you’re in a long-lasting & hopefully wholly healthy long-term relationship.... or when you have a long term slutty phase whereby you just date anyone for the sake of dating anyone so that you can fuck around with no strings attached...... or just by being in shitty relationships/shitty situationships; just because you feel like you have to be in them because everyone around you are relationships or going through their 20s slutty phases/situationship phases.

because you learn just as much about yourself and your expectations and standards in partners...... by the way of the people that you reject, and their treatment of you when you constantly rebuff them. you realise your worth and the treatment that you really deserve from the shittiest people..... who try their godawful manipulative tactics on you in the first few hours that you’ve met them physically or talked to them online.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona tries to give relationship advice although shes never had one #ilona tries to give advice #i got my age in 2017 wrong lmao

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vampire-core · 7 years ago

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/post/161320161315 every single Fucking cmnc character. every single one. trust me dude (if u want!!!)

fucken hell yeah hyperfixation time

FRANCES

A: what I think realistically

tbh frances seems like the type of person where playin the piano is like. a coping mechanism for her?? like if shes stressed/angry/havin a Bad Time she either

a: plays a Sad Tune to angst

b: plays something AGGRESSIVE to get her anger out

c, a rare option: plays smth happy to take her mind off it

bc she seems like the person to Wallow in her own sadness tbh im guessin c is Rare but

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

frances wears horribly fucking clashing colors like. bright neon orange and the ugliest brown-green mixed and goes out like that in sunglasses

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

frances didnt have a good home and she got with junior to get Out of it and then he turned out to be a piece of shit and her life just spiraled Down

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes an agender lesbian with three gfs

HENRY

A: what I think realistically

tbh henry totally seems like hed learn to bake for nancy like. i know hes in-canon a horrible cook but like. imagine this sweetie taking secret baking lessons for like Forever and then he surprises nancy on her bday with like. a rlly nice homemade cake and they cry together :’)

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

henry is a clumsy-ass Shit so he breaks things like 384723897423894x and once he managed to break a vase nancy Really liked and she walked in on him Coated in glue and just. “what are you doing” “no nothing what nothing is broken” “henry the vases shards and glue are both everywhere” “everything is fine nancy”

also nancy being at the store and henry seeing a spider and screaming on the counter until she got home

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

henry living with the eternal guilt over taking the “wrong” choice even though there was no good choice because he either stayed in a place where no issues were being worked out or he left :^)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes a trans bABY AND I LOVE HIM SO FUCKIN MUCH

NANCY

A: what I think realistically

tbh i can imagine her bein in a book club but being the Shy One who never talks during meetings

also i can imagine her learning to paint and Loving It and showing henry the paintings which show what her world is like and hes like “:00!!!”

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

NANCY SPRITING AROUND IN HIGH HEELS TRYING TO CRUSH A SPIDER WHILE SHE AND HENRY BOTH FUCKING SOB BECAUSE SHE CANT MANAGE TO KILL THE SPIDER

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

nancy living with crushing guilt and abandonment issues but hiding it because she doesnt want to bother henry and she keeps randomly crying :)))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes genderfluid as FUCK and has a gf

BONUS: JUNIOR

A: what I think realistically

tbh this dude is fuckin Shitty and hes def the type of dude to have like 3 gfs at once but not an open relationship just straight-up cheating

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

in a modern au junior discovers furry culture and refuses to wear anything but a pigeon fursuit for three years straight

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

he left frances with more trauma than she mayb had :))))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes a fuckin furry. let him be a FURRY MAKE HENRY BUFF AGAIN I THINK YOU MEAN MAKE JUNIOR A PIGEON AGAIN

BONUS: PATTY

A: what I think realistically

she has a Huge family and sends all of them christmas cards, and she only has one great-niece who cares enough to reply and visit and stuff and sometimes the neice brings her kids and patty fuckin loves kids and spoils em like a grandchild

also she sends christmas cards to her neighbors and invites them over for dinner weekly

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she sews and she once had an awful neighbor who was a total bitch so she bought this cheap-ass shirt, fixed it up in a day, but it looked new and beautifully made and the neighbor felt so bad and patty just. >:3c dont be a bitch

the neighbor got to keep the gift tho and was Nicer and patty was :3c

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she feels SO BAD that she didnt notice henry and nancy being missing sooner bc she ALWAYS wanted to be friends w them both and she loved em to bits

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes a trans lesbian and has a long-time wife :3c

KENNITH (this ones just gonna be kin shit but shhhh ;))) )

A: what I think realistically

if its not a school day and hes home alone kennith 100000% will Not change out of his pajamas and will yell at you for wearing shoes in his room dont fuckin touch him with your nasty-ass feet stephamie

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

KENNITH GETS SUPER DRUNK AND STARTS FORGETTING THINGS HE JUST DID AND GETTING REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED AS STEPH LAUGHS HER ASS OFF THREE FEET AWAY (based on my own experiences)

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

kennith has an ed he doesnt know how to deal with and doesnt even think is that Bad so hes just suffering :’))) can relate buddy

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes trans you cowards and in a qpp with steph

STEPH

A: what I think realistically

steph is Rlly skilled at punching and taught kennith how to punch but also if u rub her back she will Deactivate in .2 seconds so even if she acts tough she has a fuckin self-destruct button and its her back

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

STEPH AND KENNITH MAKING DIRECT EYE CONTACT AS THEY COME UP WITH INCREASINGLY BAD ALTERNATE TITLES FOR A PENIS

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

steph tends to put on a Happy Face bc she thinks kenniths problems are worse than hers, so she has no help and no clue how to deal with them and just gets worse and worse :’))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes a fuckin lesbian in a qpp with kennith you cowards and shes genderfluid

GREG

A: what I think realistically

this man has fuckin Depression my lads and anxiety and tends to self-medicate with weed even tho he Knows its prob not the best option but i mean. hes a retail worker can he afford meds? no

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

if you do Anything greg will probably stay apathetic, and he can say most things with a straight face. he enjoys making completely filthy jokes with an unwavering neutral expression and watching people crumble

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

……………tbh hed prob think he couldve done More to help kennith after he Died but never did so i can imagine hed feel. kinda guilty sdkjfhsdkf maybe my kin ass is just hopeful

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

let him have two moms you cowards (also him and kennith are boyfs dont make the rules my kin ass is GAY)

BONUS: JENNY

A: what I think realistically

….tbh they seem like the type of person who always has a sketchpad and paints a lot and is just Super artsy

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

jenny and kennith lock eyes and they can instantly feel the hatred kennith emits bc t h a t s h i s f p but also they can tell he wants steph to be happy and they can SEE the STRUGGLE on his FACE and he looks kind of like an angry chihuahua

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

…..tbh i dont have anything for them

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

let them be a nonbinary lesbian who draws their gf constantly

BRI (aka kin ass two: electric bogaloo :3c)

A: what I think realistically

tbh they seem like the type of person to have a cat. in my canon it was an orange cat named sherbet B3c they love that cat to Death and show it to avery on video calls

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

bri says “rawr XD” out loud and accidentally says that to a teacher, who stands there for .3 seconds and kind of just goes with it

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they dont actually die and have to live with their gf bein dead :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

they live and also so does avery and theyre happy fuck you

AVERY

A: what I think realistically

tbh she seems like the type of person to have a wide friend group but only be “close” close with like. 1-2 people??? and like she loves all of her friends but she cant maintain that many close friends

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she once laughed so hard she snorted soda out of her nose during a video call

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

her last thought is of bri :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHE AND BRI ARE H A P P Y AND ALIVE

SPOI

A: what I think realistically

they seem the type of person to like???? fuckin rag on shows while watching them, ie shout at the screen, point out plot holes etc and then say “wtf i loved it” at the end

also they throw popcorn at the screen during the movies

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they hide under nancys table and let out a vicious shriek whenever nancy accidentally kicks them

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they cause Endless Suffering and dont even care like they cant sympathize or manage to be Decent and like. they LAUGH at it and its like??? a s s h o l e

(and i have like No Empathy but i can still manage to be a nice person so?? no excuse there)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

theyre the one stealing nancys bobbins >:00

#text #communications by ghost #caps //#eating disorder ment //#death ment //#alcohol ment //#interests #ask meme #ask memes #ty babe!!! :3c #stephanie-glass-official #ask

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rangerhanna-56-blog · 8 years ago

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You're upset bc you got called out on saying something stupid like just man up and say ok I'm wrong I won't do it again sorry like that's all you have to do.... it really is that simple ????

Okay but have you seen my other posts where I said "I'm wrong I get it" "I get it I fucked up"Like I literally acknowledged I fucked up and people still felt the need to send a 17 year old death threats because literally you can't fucking disagree with anyone on this shit website without people attacking you. Like I'm literally being told to kill myself over a sarcastic comment I made and it literally drove me into having a psychotic episode because I literally have multiple psychological problems and I ended up carving awful fucking shit into my body with an actual knife. Like do people on here actually realize when they attack someone, that person might not actually be able to handle being threatened because of something literally so fucking small. I literally went to this person and tried to explain myself and yeah I did it in a petty way and they posted it for literally all their followers to see, but then as soon as I started getting anon hate they were like "but those aren't MY followers". Like how do you ACTUALLY know none of those people aren't your followers tho??? Like do you really think that ur followers are gonna step forward and say "yeah lol I was one of those ppl threatening that girl and saying that her and her family deserve to be killed" legit all because I compared TRUMP to fucking HITLER. Like bitch now that I've had my mental breakdown and I've calmed down a bit I can actually advocate for myself and say I'm allowed to have a differing fucking opinion than someone else and I shouldn't be fucking harassed for it. And idk wtf the whole "white liberalism" thing is when like I've done nothing to show I only care about the white race. Like yeah I'm white but that's literally just it??? Like sorry that I think that history is repeating itself bc THE SIGNS ARE ALL THERE and I have countless people agreeing with me WHO HAVE STUDIED THIS SHIT, that Trump is going to turn this country into something absolutely fucked up (he's literally having neo-nazis work for him like idk how else to fucking make this comparison any clearer???). Like are you just upset bc I compared him to hitler bc that's literally what everyone has been doing and it's annoying or are you literally trying to tell me that there are no similarities between them and that I shouldn't be worried as much as you all should be??? Like as long as you're not a Straight White CIS Christian Male, you're fucked. People are being fucking murdered because of this dude. What I'm trying to say if yeah I'm admitting I fucked up and I literally HAVE BEEN but none of you people people listen so I literally went into full panic mode and caused physical fucking harm to my body that probably requires a doctor to look at (let's be honest im not going to a fucking doctor because if they ask me why all this happened and I tell them it was tumblr discourse, they either won't understand or I'll get the biggest eye roll ever). I literally hope everyone is satisfied with themselves here. Are you happy that you got the "clueless white girl" to finally hurt herself because I hope you are. And the whole thing about me "using my mental illness to manipulate people and make them feel bad for me" is so much bullshit. Yes I had someone take a screenshot btw because I wanted to see how things were playing out. All because you got through this type of shit without support doesn't mean you're a better human being??? This was talked about as if people knew exactly what I suffer from and that it was just me using mild depression or something to excuse the dumb shit I do. And if you haven't fucking noticed yet, I literally just admitted right there that some of the shit I do is in fact dumb.If you want to get into this with me and you really want an explanation I can give it to you because that really isn't half the case. My family literally is full of people who have psychological problems (some of which I don't even know the names of). Just recently my grandfather (a retired police officer) was found hiding in his bedroom from my grandmother with a loaded fucking gun while whispering to it and he was later diagnosed with stage 3 Alzheimer's and he's convinced my grandmother is a member of the Italian mafia sent to assassinate him. I'm not telling you family stories for nothing and I'm sure you guys are gonna have a good laugh about this too because no matter what I say to explain myself I still get treated like shit. Im not even sure if I'm allowed to say this, but if even a team of Harvard Medical Graduates; professionals that people from all around the world seek for help from; can't pinpoint what psychological problems I have, then I shouldn't be given that "trying to manipulate people" shit. A fucking adult said this. If you have any experience with being mentally ill like you say you do, then you know just how fucking difficult it is to properly function and be able to say the right things and advocate for yourself. Do you know how fucking hard it is to fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning knowing that you'll probably have to rely on a caretaker for the rest of your fucking life because you can't make choices for yourself and will need to be under constant supervision so you don't fucking hang yourself one day?? I don't fucking enjoy being a literal walking disease, but thanks for implying that I would ever use it as a fucking tool to get what I want when I want it, you ignorant fuck. You didn't possibly think after screenshotting my mental breakdown that "Hey, someone probably has to have some type of chemical imbalance to type all of this out" before posting it and using it as a prop to get on some fucking high horse. I'm not some mildly depressed idiot fucking white girl who has no clue what happens outside of the cushy walls of my fucking house. I know how fucking horrible and disgusting the human race can be to each other which is part of the reason why I'm like this.I get it! You're so much more fucking smarter than me!!! I'm a stereotypical white western liberal! You caught me red handed! I literally hope that every single one of you have gotten your superiority fix for the day because I've literally had to move blogs because of this. I actually came back to this blog to clean up my mess of posts which is what I do after my episodes, and I happened to notice that one of the anons I had was surprisingly not abuse, but still something bitchy anyway. If you want anything positive to come from me answering this, then I'm just gonna say Thank You for not being like one of the other people who wished death upon me. If you guys still aren't satisfied with this, then I don't fucking know what else to say?? I've explained myself and admitted over and over that I was wrong, but nobody was satisfied until I freaked the fuck out and they got a good laugh out of causing a stupid white girl distress. I'm humiliated now and have pretty much become a laughing stock so yeah. There it is.

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uglysuburbia · 7 years ago

Text

s.a.d.

Seasonal affective depression will be the death of me The literal death I got to move from here So there's more of a reason that my friends don't talk to me Like hey you moved , people lose touch, that's life, sorry Instead of them just not giving a shit I'm sorry That y'all think it's my manic episode But y'all are perfect right? Not really Noooooooo lmao Are you kidding And again , I don't want to make everything about money But how the FUCK is it That you guys have never taken me anywhere without asking for gas money How I can count on two hands Since we were 16 That you guys paid for one of my meals or for my drinks What is this And then me always tucking $5 in between your car so you'll have gas money And how I've listened to my flaws Aka talking too much And needing too much attention And I quickly realized all cant handle them So I make productive decisions to grow To stall my flaws But I'm bipolar LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF But you guys are so perfect Mad at the world together Moping in yalls beds together Judging the world together "We are so much hotter than everybody else" together Kat you're doing just as shitty as us So don't give us lectures Kat you just need to lose weight So we can all be pale and skinny and cry into our beers every other fucking night Listen.. I watched my mom get slammed against the fucking wall with a refrigerator and held in a chokehold and beat repeatedly with a pan I act like I laugh about it I was 9 years old I watched her drunk AT FUCKING DISNEY WORLD scare the fuck out of my grandma Have you ever seen one of those snuff videos of an old woman getting beat up? It's the same thing. I was 11 I cried and wanted to come home but I guess my dad didn't want to waste money on a plane ticket bc fuck no I did not want to be at Disney world where they just carted off my mom to prison Oh yeah sure I laugh about it She wrote to me in prison saying she needed me and my sister to stay alive She gets out Back to the same old shit Meth heroin pills lol kind of boring now bc it's all we hear about in the news I spend the summer with her and have to experience her withdrawals Didn't know what they were She just scared me And then how selfish I was going on with my life freshman year And then I can't get hold of her at all And I didn't care Because I didn't know And then she fucking dies Y'all have heard this story and still think I'm just the luckiest girl in the world bc my dad loves me and helps out After my mom dies I get back with the worst human in the world The boy I lost my virginity to a year prior This boy cheated on me a few weeks after my mom died Gets me pregnant Cheats on me more Like I'm 14 And all I'm thinking now is Wow the girls getting their clitorises burned off in the Muslim region of Africa would kill for this life And why am I acting so entitled Nothing is fair Rest assured this shit goes through my mind when I'm whining about my shitty white first world life But back to my story The rest of high school is fine after we stop dating and he moves I mean getting bullied sucked But lmao you said I was the Bitch in high school Honestly I'm sorry to everyone I ever hurt And anyone I continue to hurt With my careless choice of words I can't tell if I believe in karma I want so hard to be edgy and say I'm atheist And that's how I was for so long Atheist Agnostic is such a pussy word Some *philosopher* you know, the kid you work with that knows so much about life, he told me that, essentially, everybody is agnostic Okay loser There I go again being rude Anyways I don't know if I believe in karma, but I used to believe in "pre-karma" but lmao Na Shit just happens And if you put yourself in a RISKY SITUATION That is your own fucking fault Get over it Like I let my ex drive my car after I cheated on him Lmao duh Doesn't excuse what I did But duh Yeah he stole it and pawned 2 laptops, 2 phones, 1 tablet I still bailed him out of jail I still did a lot And tbh HE DID NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME CHEATING ON HIM HE WAS USING ME THE WHOLE TIME lmao you two love to bring that up Oh yeah kat everyone saw it but you That wasn't even a real relationship Lol thank you guys So much I'm going to start writing down the toxic shit y'all say to me tbh I mean BUT IM BIPOLAR RIGHT NOTHING I SAY MATTERS ILL GET OVER IT ps YALL ARE PERFECT drug addict + alcoholic forever and ever I'm only like this cause of my dad right I love stream of thought It was cute when bukowski did it and he could write everything lowercase bc no spell checkers bukowskiiiii only famous because he was alive before the internet because now we have memes that make you feel uninteresting everybody does their own thing but really it's each other's thing there are no original concepts left in this world Anyways back to my privileged complaining I'm trying to think where I went wrong If I was in the wrong I really do try to look from an outside perspective Like What I did with my mom It's not like I did much I was 14 I was so weird about life and Mac was the worst person and idk for some reason I was more concerned with him And then idk It was Fucking high school I don't blame myself I just know I was selfish And I keep asking myself If everyone else is selfish? Towards me? Does that excuse my behavior ? Do I need to fix my moral code? Like there she was Running off with stupid fucking jimmy and I'm just like why why why????? Because he didn't love her Just like that horrible human being that got me pregnant never loved me And for real Whenever I found out Just a few months ago Everything he did Do you realize how mad I am? my mom is gone because she wasted her time with that fucking piece of shit And he's still alive After beating the shit out of her He's not in prison Who the fuck even I'm so tired I can talk about other things Like interviewers who attempt to explain to you in the interview why they probably won't hire you keeping you there for 30 minutes To talk and waste your time but I'm a nice person really so I don't say anything But idk that's literally why I'm upset right now maybe maybe that's the root of it all or maybe my friends just all want to hang out without me and it's totally fine I have to get past those first months of loneliness but I'm definitely doing my own thing Or who's own thing my eyes hurt from this blue light but I want to keep talking Maybe people follow me on here Haven't checked in a while But anyways I'm blocking everyone Because why are certain people this certain way have fun good riddance Cause when everyone says For good or for bad What happened to kat ?? Considering I'm blocking all of you You guys won't know Ever Stream of thought End of whatever this was Anger and sadness and insecurities in text

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