#but there ARE actually legit reasons for some of those grammar rules; it's just that schools fail to teach them properly
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The worst thing about my brain being an autopilot grammar nazi is that every single time I see people misuse âitâsâ and âitsâ as well as apostrophe placements is that I donât want to be rude and correct people... but my brain still is like UGH THIS IS THE WORST.
âItâsâ and âItsâ are more just my brain going weeo weeo on me when thatâs a more understandable one bc âitsâ is literally the exception to a rule (because âitâsâ actually means âit isâ, so to avoid it being used for two meanings the apostrophe is removed for ownership cases), but when I see apostrophes before an S for plural wording and I know they speak English properly Iâm just like. ugh. damn. bruh. please. go back to school.
Less severe cases of incorrect apostrophe use tends to be like, when people are playing Heroes and have duplicates of units and are like âmy Ikeâsâ instead of âmy Ikesâ, because I think people are trying to... make it more clear that itâs referring to more than one? I think? Maybe? Or they literally just donât realize itâs incorrect grammar, idk lol. Still canât get past my weeo weeo autopilot brain though sadly.
LIKE. ITâS NOT ANYONEâS FAULT THAT MY BRAIN IS WEEO WEEO, IT JUST IS.
Which speaking of Heroes, FE in general seems to have its script in every single game ever coded to always use apostrophes for ownership cases even when the word ends in S, so donât worry folks. IntSys isnât getting off scot free from my brain either LOL. No amount of âprincessâsâ is ever gonna fly with my weeo weeo brain.
this has been a psa
mainly a psa of my brain weeo weeos
#DCB Comments#but the absolute worst offenders are people who overuse apostrophes and like#don't know how to write the plural of a word. today I saw someone write horse's to indicate more than one more horse#and I think the darkest depths of my soul finally cracked at the sight shjfgjhgs#this wasn't someone who speaks in broken English either or anything. they know how to speak the whole language just fine#also the other worst thing about my grammar brain is that I could absolutely get a job teaching English based on my knowledge alone#but I don't have an uwu master's degree uwu so getting teaching jobs even as freelance work is basically impossible#the world decides your worth based on how much you were willing to pay an institution for a certificate#and doesn't base you on your actual worth or knowledge so yeah that's great#can't wait until we're in an anime or video game where society's young decides that's bullshit and we're totally over it and rebel sjkfghju#also you know how you see those posts of ppl being like forget what you learned in school? yeah no don't do that with grammar#to an extent it's one thing (the really stupid ''rules'' like don't start a sentence with x word) and some of it was over the top#but there ARE actually legit reasons for some of those grammar rules; it's just that schools fail to teach them properly#I was extremely lucky to have very amazing English teachers for the most part ngl bc most schools don't teach even basic shit well#at least in my country. even in my school the stuff they taught was shit lol I just got very lucky to have great English teachers#but like for instance run on sentences are usually seen as an issue in writing because people lose their understanding of the sentence#if the sentence goes on too long with too many thoughts you'll probably forget what it was even about in the first place#if it's a WRITING style like a book or a fanfic or whatever it can make sense in some cases you just have to be thoughtful abt it!#but rly like I see people who can't even write basic English grammar who can speak it fluently and I'm like#what the fuck are these schools doing??? bc I can tell you what they're NOT doing e.e#this isn't limited to gen z btw I see ppl around my age who do this stuff with grammar too so... yikes#in fact I see people OLDER than my generation doing it too like... my own mom lmao#I'M SORRY I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT IT'S BEEN EATING AWAY MY EXISTENCE FOR MANY YEARS
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Cardiac Arrest, CPR, and the Reticent Volcano đđ
So yesterday I made a very interesting discovery while watching the TTPD (track) lyric vid that led to me having several epiphanies at once. If you watch the vid, you'll notice that for the most part the lyrics are in all caps save for a few lines. Of these lines, one in particular, âlike a tattooed Golden Retriever,â caught my attention bc it has 2 capital letters--G and R--that you wouldn't have been able to see if the line was in all caps like the ones just before it. What makes it more interesting is that golden retriever is not a proper noun like a name or title so it shouldn't be capitalized according to English grammar rules.
This led me to search for the TTPD album booklet scans to see if this was also capitalized in the booklet and to see what other words were capitalized. Then after looking at the booklet it hit me--CPR(G)!!! Charlie Puth Retriever Golden. Everyone agreed these lyrics sounded a little odd compared to the rest of her lyrics and the shout out to Charlie Puth seemed kind of random. But now it makes complete sense why she wrote those lyrics. She was trying to draw attention to the capital letters CPR(G) that are repeated throughout the album. In this post I explained that Taylor mentions CPR in So Long, London bc they're all related to each other, they're a family. C=Cassandra=Taylor; P=Peter=her 2nd kid; R=Robin=her 1st kid; G=Gold/Golden=Karlie. If you look at the TTPD tracklist, Cassandra, Peter, and Robin are in the same order as CPR.
Taylor wanted to acknowledge her family in some way on this album and so she represented them w these 4 letters which are likely a stand-in for the Swift-Kloss family crest since I don't believe that showed up on this album. This is the key to deciphering several of the anon messages and understanding why some things are lowercase while other things are capitalized. For example, all of the volcano đanon messages and the last 2 messages from (PR)esent anon đ are lowercase with the exception of the words "Gold" and "Goodbye." This connects these messages to TTPD (track). "Gold" is highlighted like "volcano" to indicate that Miss Gold Rush is going to be a part of the atomic bomb Taylor is getting ready to drop. And the "Goodbye" being capitalized indicates that Karlie is indeed the "neighbor" in this message and in Fortnight as well as "the woman who sits by the window" in Peter that turns out the light/lamp. She is the one who keeps a lit jack-o-lantern đ on the front porch while awaiting Taylor's return home from exile. These things single-handedly prove that đ and present đ anon are indeed legit bc how would a troll have been able to predict these things when The Anthology tracks were surprise dropped at 2am and weren't revealed w the standard edition tracks on Feb 5, and why would a troll even bother w such subtle details?? Plus no lyrics had leaked yet at the time these messages were sent so the only logical answer is that they must've either been sent by Taylor or someone close to her.
Side note: When I first wrote that post analyzing the present đ anon messages, I had thought that the song Robin, and maybe Peter as well, was the gift/present to us kaylors that present đ anon told us to look out for since P's and R's are repeated in the messages. However, I have since figured out that actually the poetry book For now, she slumbers was likely the gift since present đ anon's messages mention the title of the book "for now, she slumbers" and "reticent volcano" which is the author's name as an anagram (see this post). Plus the March 4 message directly quotes the first poem in For now, she slumbers called "Two" âď¸ (If you want to read all the poems in order see this post). I explain in this post that the reason why this poem is the first one in the book is bc it's the key to understanding all the ones that follow and to understanding TTPD. The 2 âď¸ is probably the most important motif in TTPD bc it symbolizes the 2 different versions of Taylor and 2 opposing narratives abt her life that exist. Taylor Swift the brand vs Taylor Swift the person; the boy-crazy maneater that only writes songs abt her ex-boyfriends vs the tortured closeted queer poet that is forced to hide her truth behind metaphors and red herrings. Going back to the CPR of it all, I still believe my initial analysis of the present đ anon messages was correct for the most part since the "reticent volcano" is likely a tell-all memoir that will explain the whole messy story and how and why she kept her family (CPRG) a secret. The purpose of the đ and đ anon messages was to guide us to both the poetry book and to CPR(G) which both foreshadow what her memoir--that she's hinted at w The Manuscript and The Story of Us--is going to be abt.
Now continuing on w the theory, as I mentioned previously, we have Cassandra=Taylor, Peter=her 2nd kid, and Robin=her 1st kid. And if you look at the pg in the booklet w The Manuscript, you'll see that there is a capital G in "Good Samaritan" which completes the CPRG set and is also the only capital G that shows up in this song.
And to tie it all together, if you look at the summary poem/epilogue at the very end, Taylor mentions cardiac arrest. This happens when someone's heart suddenly stops functioning and can be reversed by CPR! "I stopped CPR after all it's no use, the spirit was gone we would never come to." And this connects to You're Losing Me (From the Vault) which is abt the fans not seeing the real her or paying attention to her repeated queer signaling -> "I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore for you, 'cause you're losing me." Taylor has given up trying to get her fans to listen to her (CPR) and has accepted that she may lose a lot of them when she reveals everything (CPRG). She is warning them that they are abt to lose the Taylor that they know, the old Taylor, bc she is going to have to kill her public persona and brand in order to be reborn as the new version of herself and move onto the next chapter of her life.
And to add even more evidence to this theory, CPR is often performed on drowning victims, and where does drowning show up in TTPD? Oh it shows up in The Bolter which just so happens to be sandwiched in between Cassandra, Peter, and Robin! -> "By all accounts, she almost drowned when she was 6 in frigid water...And she liked the way it tastes, taming a bear, making him care, watching him jump then pulling him under...as she was leaving, it felt like breathing/freedom" // "When I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe." Drowning also shows up in Guilty as Sin which I've determined probably represents the acceptance stage of grief so the drowning metaphor checks out (see this post) -> "Drowning in the Blue Nile, he sent me 'Downtown Lights.'" (Also check out this amazing video which explains the Blue Nile and religious connections). This connects to the 8th đ message where Taylor chooses to jump into shark infested waters and sacrifice her image and brand so that her lover doesn't have to. So putting all these pieces together, this means that by giving up on trying to revive her relationship w her fans or to maintain her image (CPR) and by putting her family and her happiness first (CPRG), Taylor will finally be able to be truly free. She is going to let Taylor Swift the brand drown so that she can finally breathe. This connects to The Black Dog where she compares the red herrings/bearding/lavender haze/smokescreen to an old habit like smoking that she's trying to quit -> "6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke."
Now w all this context in mind, it makes more sense why Taylor has been emphasizing capital and lowercase letters and the number 4 recently. The hidden word hunt on Apple Music, thanK you aIMee, imgonnagetyouback, her retweets from 4/21/23-4/24/23 which happened in groups of 4, putting 4 letter words in all caps, etc. And now it's clear that "I keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault" is most likely referring to her explosive tell-all memoir, the reticent volcano, she's going to publish since đ anon's messages were all in lowercase. "Restful, reticent, restraint" = locked inside a vault. Rep tv and the folklore and evermore vault tracks may also be included in this since these albums are in lowercase as well.
In conclusion, I think it is safe to say now that all of these anons are probably legit. In my opinion, all of these connections provide concrete evidence that these anons do foreshadow things and have ties to Taylor.
#i can't believe we have hardcore proof these anons are all legit now this is crazy#volcano anon#present anon#gaylor#gaylor swift#kaylor#for now she slumbers#poems#cpr#cardiac arrest#cassandra#peter#robin#the bolter#apple music#lover crest#karlie kloss#ttpd (song)#so long london#the manuscript#ttpd epilogue#clean#you're losing me#guilty as sin#pumpkin
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Author Spotlight: Darriness
Author : @darrinessâ
How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
Depends on which of my fics we're talking about. For Fic A Day, I usually just spew the whole chapter out in the evening and then I'll read it over once or twice before posting. The whole process has been known to take no longer than an hour (though sometimes longer). For my linear longer fics I revise constantly (too many times to count) while I write, and then my beta reads them over usually at least twice, and then after I make all the changes she suggests I'll go back once or twice to read the whole thing. How many times I do that last step usually depends on how soon I plan to post. For 3 on 1 I probably read/revised that fic a hundred times while waiting to be able to post it for the Big Bang.
If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?
Hmmmm, probably Life In A Year but only because I wrote 365 chapters/fics without a second set of eyes looking at them to tell me when I made stupid mistakes (I've caught a few as I've reread chapters over the past couple of years.) I probably wouldn't change the stories themselves though. I would just want to fix the silly grammar and spelling errors.
What do you look for in a beta?
Someone willing to put up with me? lol I didn't use a beta for a long time. The only reason I got one is because I did a Glee Fic Exchange and one of the 'rules' was that you had to have a beta. Luckily a Tumblr friend of mine offered to help and has been my exclusive beta ever since (I don't mean exclusive like she can't beta for other people, but she's the only person I use as a beta). If I were looking for a new one (which I hope not to have to do ever!) I would want someone who is enthusiastic, able to catch sneaky grammar and spelling errors (I like to think my work isn't riddled with obvious ones), and someone available for me to bounce ideas off of (if I ask you a question about a fic and it takes you a week to get back to me? That idea is either gone or I've already worked it out myself).
If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
I don't think *I* would want to write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there. Are there fics I would like to see the story continue for? Of course (though do you think I can think of any specific fics right now? Of course not lol). But I would like the author to do the writing, not me.
Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?
I call most of my fics, that aren't clearly AU, 'canon adjacent'. I follow canon pretty closely but there are three main things I always 'conveniently forget' about canon when I write - Finn's death, Blaine cheating, and Klaine breaking up. Most of my canon adjacent fics take place after canon ended but I do still follow the history of canon except for those things listed above. Oh, and I usually 'forget' Puck existed at all. I'm not sure he's been in my fics at all after that whole thing happened.
Talk about a review that made your day.
Here comes the clichĂŠ but legit true answer - ALL reviews make my day. Getting a notification email that someone left a comment on AO3 never fails to make me smile and clicking on people's reblogs on Tumblr to see if they've left comments in the tags is a lot of fun for me! The fact that someone took the time to comment on my silly writing? Blows my mind. I will say though that the comments I got nearing the end of A Life In A Year (including the last day) were especially satisfying. They were congratulations about finishing the year and as I was feeling pretty proud of myself, having other people share their congratulations was really special.
Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?
I don't think I've ever gotten a rude review luckily! There was one on one of my very first fics in fandom (that I posted on FF.net, it's not even on AO3 or Tumblr) that felt the need to correct an error in my grammar but I wouldn't necessarily have called it rude. I felt it slightly unnecessary but I actually took their comment to heart and think about it every time I go to make that error in my writing today.
What advice do you have for people just starting to write?
I don't feel qualified to give advice but here we go. WRITE AND READ AND HAVE FUN! Your ideas are never going to get put on paper (or document) and you're never going to improve your writing if you don't actually write! Even if you don't think it's very good (I'm sure it's good!) if you don't write it, you can't improve. Write, and then get someone you trust to read it and help you make it better (or even take a course!). Also, READ. And I don't mean read your own writing (well yes, read your own writing) but read OTHER people's writing. Read fic, read books, read the newspaper - the reading and writing skill are so interconnected that your writing will improve the more you read! So READ! And then write some more! And lastly, have fun writing and reading. If it's not fun, then it's not worth doing it. It shouldn't be a chore or a job and even if it IS your job? If you're not having fun then it's still not worth doing in my opinion.
Which fic do you most like to discuss with other people? Why?
I love discussing all my fics with other people! I'll choose two fics for this answer though that I don't get to talk about a lot with other people and wish I could more - Roadie and Evolved. I love those fics/verses personally and wish I could really discuss them with people :)
What's one aspect of writing fic that gets you really excited?
Narcissistically? Rereading my own fic. I love going back to an old fic of mine and reading through it again. It's simultaneously a comfort because I know it so well and a bit mystifying because I think 'I really wrote this?'
***
Check out Darrinessâs Fics:Â
Roadie - Blaine Anderson is the lead singer of one of the most popular bands in the United States. His life is chaotic but he loves it. One day, a new sound engineer joins the tour and turns Blaine's already chaotic life upside down.
Like You Wanna Be Loved - A new boy moves in and catches Kurt's attention...but everything is not as it may seem.
Quality Time - Kurt and Blaine try a little quality time activity together!
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A Guide for Navigating a World of Rumors for the #SaveDaredevil Campaign
Hey #FandomWithoutFear! Itâs been almost a year now since the #SaveDaredevil campaign started, and I thought Iâd do a brief PSA to help save your sanity as we enter the second half of our campaign. Iâm talking about rumors.
Over the past year, weâve heard piles and piles of rumors, some causing chaos, others causing despair, some even being really strange and confusing. In fact, our campaign was basically born into a world of rumors as weâve been combating the âThe shows are going to Disney+â rumor since the instant it was canceled. Only recently have we been mostly freed by that one thanks to D23 releasing their starting lineup, but weâre still seeing it.
Giving into rumors can be a trying experience, especially considering our current situation of Marvel being unable to tell us almost anything about the NMCU properties until the two year clause is up and them being tight-lipped by default. However, there are ways of avoiding rumor rabbit holes and the emotional turmoil they put us through.
Before I start, Iâd like to point everyone out to #SaveDaredevilâs official website and FAQ. It is loaded with everything we can say for certain about the status and future of Daredevil given the information that has been confirmed by official sources so far. We even have screenshots and citations.
#1 â Encountering the Rumor
So youâre out in the wilds of the Internet and come across ânewsâ about Daredevil. As mentioned previously, simply the fact that there is ânewsâ is enough to raise a red flag. Since everything is on the hush-hush, thereâs an 80% chance the ânewsâ isnât valid right off the bat.
But letâs say there seems like there could be some validity in the claim. Worth investigating further.
#2 â Beware of Clickbait
Websites love dem clicks, and they know the Daredevil fanbase is filled with people who are yearning for news. Many websites will either make up or perpetuate rumors to fill a video or article and then slap a misleading title on it to go fishing for cursors and their precious left-clicks.
While some clickbait is painfully obvious from the getgo, some is harder to discern. The rule of thumb here is that, if it seems too good to be true or if it feels like something that could be molded out of existing knowledge, itâs probably best to avoid it.
Also be on the lookout for words and phrases like âCould beâ and âMightâ as they are almost always indicative of opinion pieces/rumor mills than actual news.
Reputable articles will commonly headline with a source of a quote, such as âsaid (name) (some important position) at (Marvel or Disney)â but even those can be misleading, so beware.
#3 â Check the Website Before Clicking
You really, really want to click the link no matter what the title says. Understandable. But before you turn that blue link purple, letâs see where it came from.
Another way you can discern what is likely a rumor from what could possibly be legitimate is by checking the source of the link. Sites like Cosmic Book News (Thatâs not a typo, thatâs the name of the website) and wegotthiscovered are some of the better known rumor mills, but if youâre unsure about the reputation of a site, ask around. However, sometimes the only way to know if a website or news source is reputable is by investigating the content of the link.
Which leads us toâŚ.
#4 â Youâve Clicked the Link. Now What?
A few things you should be on the lookout for while investigating the page before even reading the content are the author of the article or creator of the video (if one isnât listed, thatâs a red flag in itself), how professionally made the website looks, the date of the article/video posting (the more current, the better) and how well-written the article is overall. Poor grammar, punctuation and formatting can all be red flags to misinformed or false content.
Sensational graphics, such as pictures with red arrows, circles or obnoxious text â this applies to the video if there is one â can also be an indicator of less than legit sources. Overly produced videos and graphics have become quite common as they are attention grabbers, but they donât exactly give off the professional air that more legitimate websites and content creators strive for.
Fair warning, while a good chunk of rumor articles are fairly short, many rumor videos can be insanely long because longer videos can have more advertisements crammed on it, which means more money.
Longer videos donât instantly mean legitimate information. In fact, outside of opinion pieces, many ânewsâ videos will regurgitate information we already know about and go into length about that to extend the videoâs run time. Even if youâre only in it for opinions, a significant portion of the video could be padding.
You donât necessarily have to watch the entirety of the video (or even read the entire article) to tell if itâs spouting nonsense or not. Itâs a good idea to do so, but in many circumstances the writing is on the wall within the first paragraph or first few minutes of the video.
They jump to conclusions based on something that is entirely unrelated. They add the could beâs and mightâs to the content, instead of the headline. Or they accidentally show their rumor hand by saying the dreaded words âI/We heard...â or even ârumor has it.â
Some writers are also tricky about their wording to get you to stay the entire way through by ending the article or video with âbut this is all speculation. We wonât really know until (blank)â
If the author seems intent on getting you to believe this is all fact and the red flags arenât quite visible to you, there are still options to explore.
#5 â Read/Listen Carefully
Some writers are particularly good at twisting words around to suit their needs. Even direct quotes can be manipulated in their favor. Read the article or listen to the video host very carefully. Take note of context. Be wary of anything that doesnât mesh with existing knowledge. You may also find that the content contradicts itself sometimes. If things seem fishy to you, your instincts are likely right.
#6 â Who Else is Saying This?
Daredevil news would be huge, and anything even slightly confirmed by official sources would be plastered on a plethora of news sites so quickly youâd think they were announcing their first born child. When youâre first out the gate, you tend to get the most clicks. However, reputable news sites, as you can guess, want to stay reputable, and jumping on rumors isnât going to be helping them maintain that status.
Do a quick Google search for the main news item in the headline. Using quotation marks on specific phrases used in either the title or body of the source can help narrow things down.
If there are no very recent news articles from several other websites (Letâs say five or more) containing similar news, itâs probably false. If the initial posting is particularly recent, wait a few hours and do another search. By then, the reputable news sites would certainly have something out if itâs true.
#6 â Cited Sources: Theyâre Not Just for College Papers
Some rumors do get out of control, however. False information can spread like wildfire, and sometimes reputable news sites make mistakes. One thing can still save you from falling into the rumor rabbit hole â cited sources.
They donât have to be as meticulously formatted as they have to be for college papers (though that does help!) but having quotes from officials within Marvel or Disney (with context and notes about when and where this quote was said) and links to information sources mean the world when determining if ânewsâ is actually, well, news.
Like before, even if the article does cite sources, that doesnât mean much if the source itself isnât reputable. IE, you may want to use Wikipedia in your term paper, but your teacher wonât let that fly. Check out the links and double check the quotes to be as certain as possible.
Also, if something simply says âsources claimâ without giving actualâŚ.ya know...sources, they probably donât have any. Or, if they do, theyâre not reputable.
#7 â This Random Youtuber I Like Said This, That and The Other Thing
This is cropping up more frequently, so I thought Iâd include it. Just because you like a Youtuber doesnât mean theyâre always right. Itâs not even a matter of calling them a liar â many times these people are just misinformed or fell down a rumor rabbit hole themselves.
Dealing with people who are saying this to you is difficult because theyâre frequently too blinded by their liking of the Youtuber to listen to reason. All you can really do is explain to them what Iâve explained above and direct them to the #SaveDaredevil FAQ.
#8 â Dealing with The F Word
Another problem that has been frequently popping up over the past several months is the F Word: Feige.
A rumor that has been unavoidable since practically the instant Daredevil and the other NMCU shows were canceled was that the properties would inevitably fall into the hands of Marvel Studios president, Kevin Feige, and DD and The Defenders would be in the MCU after the two years is up.
Feige has never spoken a word, post-cancellation, about Daredevil or The Defenders futures, and for all we know he has no role in their futures considering they were originally with Marvel Television. However, so many people seemingly believe bringing up Feige is enough to confirm or deny all things speculation about DD. Some wonât even humor the idea of DD going anywhere else but Feigeville.
Like with the Youtuber fans, itâs hard to reason with people who seem to hardcore support Feige in everything involving Marvel, and dealing with them is about the same. The main cannon you have in this situation outside of the norm is that, as stated before, Feige has said nothing about this, so they donât really have sources to cite here, leaving everything up to speculation.
Let me clarify that, if youâre of the opinion that Daredevil should be in the movies, thatâs perfectly fine. Everyone has their own opinions on what they want for Daredevilâs future, even if the #SaveDaredevil movement has made their own hopes and views very apparent. However, the story of Daredevilâs does not begin and end with Feige and it shouldnât be treated as such.
#9 â Scooping the Inside from the Outside
There have been a couple of people, wonât be naming names, in the past year claiming they have the inside scoop on this matter because they either are on the inside (IE an employee at one of the companies involved, such as Netflix, Marvel or Disney) or they know someone who is.
These people may very well have inside information that theyâre willing to share with us, but the problem is which information is valid and which isnât.
The âinsidersâ Iâve seen seem to work on a system very similar to an old fortune-teller.
Fortune-tellers have a habit of predicting something that they know will come true because of something else they knew ahead of time or just getting lucky on an educated guess. If theyâre right enough times on little things, that gives them all the validity they seemingly need to prove theyâre right about anything else they claim. They will likely be wrong on numerous occasions, but itâs when theyâre right that gives them power. Theyâll also likely contradict themselves and double-back on things theyâve said in the past to make it look like they werenât wrong when they were.
Problem is, you donât know who these people really are, what role they have in whatever company they work for, if they do, or what relationship they have to whatever insider might exist.
They might act like they have the insider knowledge of a high-level executive, but, in reality, they may actually have the bare bones knowledge of a lower ranking employee or just hear stuff around a water cooler and build off of that information. Itâs impossible to tell because they donât say out of fear of being fired or otherwise getting in trouble with one of the aforementioned companies.
Thatâs also where the difficulty in discerning fact and fiction/opinion with them comes from. Weâre all outsiders and any actual known insiders canât give us really any information. Debunking them or confirming what they say is incredibly problematic given the limited information we have.
Thatâs not to say there arenât people out there who pay a lot of attention to what these people say over time and analyze their statements heavily to see if they hold water, especially if it contradicts something theyâve said in the past. I said it was really difficult to discern fact and fiction with them, but itâs not impossible. When youâve exhausted every other option with these âinsidersâ the only thing you can do is wait and see if theyâre right or wrong.
Itâs been my experience (and this is my personal opinion right now) that itâs best to just ignore these people altogether. They never seem like they have good intentions with their info sharing, no matter if their information is accurate or not. They always seem like they want to make people in the fandom angry or sad with their âinside scoopsâ then eat up all the special attention they get as a rare person âon the insideâ that will actually talk with the masses about the subject. Nothing good tends to come out of hanging on the words of these âinsiders.â
#10 â Avoid Confirmation Bias
For every ânewsâ source that claims something negative about Daredevilâs situation, thereâs another that claims something positive. We, as fans of the show, want to believe the more positive stories that are released while also wanting to combat against the more negatively slanted pieces.
While this is entirely understandable, itâs also very biased. Itâs great to have hope and not let the negativity get to you, but allowing yourself to more easily fall prey to positive rumors may set you up for a fall. Itâs difficult, but you have to take the blinders off.
Staying objective is important in both ensuring that you get the most valid facts and keeping your emotional roller coaster from going off the rails. Even among less than positive news alerts, we have had many nuggets of actual validated hope spring up consistently, and thereâs a good chance weâll get more down the road, so donât get discouraged if you find some positive rumors turn out to be just that â rumors.
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As a final note, remember that the community is always here for you to both discuss any ânewsâ that comes up, dig out the real facts, and help get you through any struggles you might be having with campaigning. Weâve taken our share of hits, but like Daredevil, we keep getting back up. #SaveDaredevil has already made it nearly halfway through the two year wait with tons of support, positivity and legitimate good news. Together, we can take on the second half even stronger than before.
We can #SaveDaredevil. Weâre #NotGivingUp.
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Title: Dreaming of You
Author: 桹幹 Circle: ETERNITE
Series: Tales of Zestiria Main characters: Sorey, Alisha, Mikleo; also some Lailah and Edna Ships: Sorey/Alisha
Content rating: G Warnings: Spoilers, also a bit of a tearjerker imho Pages: 16 Ease of reading: you donât even need to read | super easy | know some grammar first | tricky | advanced | this was really heckin hard
Summary:Â
(High school AU ayyyy)
Sorey and Mikleo are at school, and Sorey looks exhausted. Mikleo guesses that heâs still having trouble sleeping and suggests he go to a hospital to get his insomnia checked out, but Sorey dejectedly refuses, finally saying that he doesnât think the issue is physical.
Mikleo looks concerned and suddenly asks if Sorey believes in remembering oneâs past life--which makes Sorey laugh and wonder if Mikleoâs also been missing sleep. Mikleo gets defensive and insists heâs being serious, but Lailah and Edna interrupt and indicate that he come with them. Reluctantly, Mikleo does so and promises to get back to Sorey later.
Elsewhere, Edna criticizes Mikleo for that âpast livesâ line, but Mikleo argues that the situation is no longer about Sorey âbeing a slow case,â as his body is at its limit and the lack of sleep is bound to hurt him if it continues. Edna explains that while Mikleo was probably correct in thinking Soreyâs faulty memory is the cause of his insomnia, attempting to make him remember his past life against his will is dangerous. She adds that the aforementioned cause canât currently be found, and that itâs meaningless, anyway, if Sorey canât recall what it is himself--although sheâs already figured out what it is. Lailah says she has, as well, but Mikleoâs dumbfounded because he has no idea what it is lol.
Lailah assures them both that things will be alright, since Soreyâs missing âcauseâ recently enrolled in their school and she spoke with âherâ earlier, someone whoâs also lost her memory like Sorey has. Lailah encourages Mikleo and Edna to believe in the power of Soreyâs and Alishaâs bond.
Sorey eventually gets up to leave. He bumps into someone in the hall and they both apologize, but he freezes up when he sees that itâs Alisha. She explains that she just moved to town and promises to be more careful; when she realizes heâs staring at her, he assures her itâs fine and quickly goes to leave, wondering why heâs been seized by such a strange feeling. Almost immediately, he passes out.
While unconscious, he dreams heâs talking to Mikleo, who looks like he does in the gameâs epilogue. In his narration, Soreyâs confused that Mikleoâs an adult, but dream!Sorey is talking with him and insisting that he hasnât âchanged his mindâ about something. Mikleo teases him, saying heâs surprised that the first thing out of Soreyâs mouth wasnât âletâs go explore some ruins,â but admits that Soreyâs always been full of surprises. Mikleo leads him through a ruin filled with tombs, noting Roseâs and Sergeiâs, and mentions that the one theyâre looking for is further in. Sorey wonders if itâs really okay for it to be out in the middle of nowhere, but Mikleo tells him itâs what âsheâ wanted, because âsheâ wanted to see the ruins. They come upon a grave on an open hillside decorated with Alishaâs lance.
(Surprise not really a high school AU ayyyy)
Back in the present, Sorey wakes up in the nurseâs office. Alisha comes to check on him and says sheâs glad heâs okay, and that Rose and Dezel-sensei helped after he passed out, and Zaveid-sensei called the doctor--but Sorey interrupts by sitting up and suddenly hugging her. Sheâs embarrassed and confused, but he says that he remembers everything now.
âI remembered... I remembered all of it. How could I forget something so important? Alisha and Rose and Sergei... by the time I woke up, all the humans I'd known were gone. Mikleo and Lailah and Edna... and Zaveid... I met them again, and they were all so happy. I found my conviction before I went to sleep, but... it didn't help at all. I never, ever forgot those feelings of regret and helplessness. So I..."
Meanwhile, in his narration:Â "I finally understand. The reason I couldn't sleep until now... was because waking to a world without you was terrible."
Alisha admits she doesnât know exactly what heâs talking about, but then hugs him back and promises that she isnât going anywhere--and says his name for the first time. This surprises him and he asks if she also got her memory back, but she admits that the name just came out of her mouth without thinking.
Sorey realizes she has a while to go before she also remembers, and instead asks if he can make one request: that she sits beside him while he sleeps. She cheerfully agrees to do so and holds his hand. They exchange "goodnights," and the last line is Sorey asking what she wants to talk about when he wakes up.
Impressions:
what I expected when I saw the cover:Â âaw cute fluffy coffee shop AU probably!â
what I got: CHEST PAINS AND TEARS
First off, Iâve said it before and Iâll say it again: I heckinâ love when Mikleo gets these little moments to shine, even when the story isnât strictly about him. The idea that heâd try to bend the rules to protect Sorey is just đ đ đ đ YES, I love these bros so much and I would die for them and this doujinshi just nailed it perfectly ugh my feelings
Edna also gets a special mention, since she was a bit soft despite her teasing Mikleo a couple times and her attempts to look apathetic on the matter. <3
Anyhow, onto the main characters lol
Itâs not completely explained, but I think the point of the premise is that everyone has been reborn into this modern/high school setting, and dreaming is their way of recovering their memory of their past (canon) lives. Sorey subconsciously resisted, because at the point heâd reached in his dreams, Alisha was dead and gone and he couldnât handle it.
YEAH THIS HURT ME. I was legit getting upset when Sorey was explaining how lonely he felt lskjdfhnnggghhh I didn't ask for this. It pulled some LOST-level plot twist there at the end (except, you know, actually well done) which I WAS NOT READY FOR, THANKS, and while this is actually a happy ending since they all get to be together again (THAT CASUAL DEZEL MENTION ;___; ) I'm still? really?? upset??? :â|
also HEY screw the idea that Mikleo was involved in burying all their human friends t h a n k s I h a t e i t
there's only... one other doujinshi, I think, that left me this shook, so yeah y'all can look forward to that
hnghhh but emotions aside, I really liked it! very nice art, good twist, excellent characterizations all around, also Sergei got some love which was nice!! (is he the overzealous drill-sergeant-of-a-coach in the high school AU, I wonder...)
This was one doujinshi I had to overpay a bit for via a mediator site (~$28 iirc, which... isn't terrible, but it's still scalping :T ) and then found for half the price elsewhere later on rip but it was worth it! 10/10, highly recommend, would cry again.
....Iâll probably think of this doujin every time I use the high school costumes in-game now great
#jay reviews doujinshi#TRIGGER WARNING FOR S A D N E S S#@artist how dare you???#tales of zestiria#sorey#alisha diphda#mikleo#sorey x alisha#sorali#this took me a while to type up bc i wanted to do it justice#still not sure i did but#you should buy it if you can it's great#also i found a good scanning app for my phone ayyyy#now back to screaming about arise
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all the numbers u haven't done
roleplaying habits questions.
1. whatâs a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?
Offhand I canât really think of anything?? English is my first language so I donât knowingly break any grammar rules anyway. Unless possible excessive use of commas counts bc I use commas a lot.
2. are there any languages besides english in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?
Unless Gibberish counts bc I learned that stupid crack language back when I was a kid but good lord I would not have the patience to actually type out a reply like that.Â
3. how often do you reach for a synonym dictionary when writing? how about mentally?
Sometimes but not too frequently. Depends on how flowery Iâm trying to write something or if Iâm thinking of a word but I donât like the first descriptive word that came to mind for what Iâm trying to express.
4. how often do you need to translate your own or the otherâs writing with a dictionary or google when writing and reading replies?
Never tbh. Especially since I donât RP in any other languages, all my RP partners have a good enough grasp on English that I can always tell what they were at least trying to say in their reply.
5. do you listen to music while your write?
I used to need music playing in the background to help me focus on doing drafts, but nowadays I need more silence than anything to help focus and produce what I think is a quality response to a longer thread. Short one or two liner things idc whatâs in the background.Â
6. do you have ideal writing circumstances when you can do a lot of drafts or tackle really long ones very easily?
I can fluctuate with when I best write. Typically I write better at night when the house is quiet and any noise happening in the house is a noise I make, but Iâve had writing inspiration hit me at any time of the day before.
7. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?
Bold of you to assume Iâm awake during morning hours that donât include 5 AM bc Iâm still awake haha. When Iâm not swamped with commissions to do I typically write better during the day or at night when Iâm the only person awake in the house and I donât have any outside distractions from a person IRL.
8. how does tiredness affect your writing?
Not overly so sometimes, I know thereâve been times in the past where I powered through replies even though I wanted to go to bed just because I was riding the motivation train and I didnât want to lose it and not get to those last replies for who knows how long. But on Discord at least I often have reply to Discord threads be one of the last things I do before I go to sleep so I go to bed knowing I donât owe anyone a reply on there.
9. have you ever written a serious reply intoxicated?
Not a serious reply anyway. Iâve been on the dashboard before while intoxicated (ColossalCon East was a prime example haha) but Iâve never really RPâd while that intoxicated
10. how much do you proof-read as you are writing vs. proof-read at the end?
Iâll proof read as I go but also give it one last read before I actually hit publish.
11. when you are writing a reply, how much ahead in the thread do you plan?
Entirely depends on the thread. I could write it on the fly or I could have days to think about it from external factors keeping me from getting to the reply as soon as it comes back to me.
12. is there ever been a time when youâve had to drop a roleplaying partner because youâve found their writing style exhausting?
Yes actually, gather round for RP horror storytime haha. Flash back to 2013 while I was still in the Black Butler fandom. I stupidly decided to give writing Sebastian a try at the request of a Ciel Iâd made friends with (probably through my old Alois or Lizzie blog). She was a nice enough girl, close enough to my age so she seemed plenty mature, and had been what I thought was a good enough writer to warrant trying my hand at a muse I wouldnât have otherwise thought to try. Legit within days of me making the Sebastian blog she was getting super clingy in her IC posts making Ciel a whiny baby missing Sebastian, would try and guilt me in IC posts to get on and write with her, and I dealt with it for about two weeks before I deleted Sebastianâs blog without warning and deleted the girl off Skype. To this day itâs the only blog I think Iâve ever consciously deleted.
13. does writing roleplay things in public spaces make you uncomfortable?
Not really? I wouldnât be crazy about a stranger reading over my shoulder while I was writing bc thatâs just weird, but Iâve gone to Starbucks or one of the local malls before on my off days (back when I was still at my last job) and Iâd do RP stuff there just to get out of the house.
14. how often do you need to change the icon in your reply while or after writing the reply?
Typically I donât put in icons until Iâm done writing the reply unless I go into the reply knowing exactly which one I want to use, or think of a good one while Iâm writing it out.
15. do you first get in the âzoneâ when writing, or do you start writing and âenterâ it that way?
Nowadays I just start writing and then get into the zone after I get the first reply done. Discord replies I can chug out any time of day without difficulty, but for whatever reason Tumblr I have to be in the right mindset for.Â
16. what is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesnât count?
Back when I was at my last job, it would be getting a lot of writing muse while I was busy at work and unable to get on my own laptop or sneak onto Tumblr on an office computer and at least type out the bulk of a reply (yes I was employee of the month many times haha), and by the time I was able to get to my own computer or be safe enough to get on a work computer, that writing muse would be gone.
17. whatâs your inbox count currently? what did you do to get it so high/low?
Right now I have 15 IC asks. I wonât lie, two of them are from last years Valentineâs Day bc I was away at Katsucon at the time of receiving them and by the time I got home I still just never got around to answering the asks, but I didnât want to delete them either so I just kept them for posterity. Some are from this past Christmas that I was terrible and havenât answered yet bc Iâve been so swamped with commissions, some are from other random memeâs Iâve reblogged and gotten an ask or two for and also just never got around to. Iâm horrible at replying to asks most of the time and I know it but I always appreciate whenever people take the time to send me an IC one.
18. how many drafts is a paralysing amount?
Iâd guess Iâd say over 15 like para thread replies would make me be like -insert meme song- âhow could this happen to meeeeeâ. Iâm not quite at that point yet but Iâll get there eventually if Iâm not careful lol.
19. if you are writing a wrong reply thatâs not working out, do you save what you have to be continued at another date, or do you scrap it and rewrite?
Usually I would just draft what I have and go back to it. I canât remember the last time I scrapepd an unfinished draft and completely rewrote it.
20. longest reply youâve ever writen on mobile?
N/A because I donât do replies on mobile. Iâll send asks on mobile but I never reply to actual IC things while on my phone unless itâs something stupid and cracky or one-liner-ish.
21. does the total amount of threads you have going on matter to you, or just how many you owe?
Doesnât really matter. I can have one thread with one person, I could have five threads with one person. @shinvcho is an example of the latter lol
22. whatâs your thought process when you format? any unspoken rules you follow?
Iâve kept to the same formatting for years and years tbh. Iâm too lazy to do excessive formatting beyond italicizing and/or bolding specific words for emphasis and spacing out the start of a new paragraph. Anything more than that to me is just tedious and unnecessary; I donât want to make it difficult for my partners to read.
23. how does your follower count affect your mood?
Anyone who says they donât appreciate or enjoy even a small spike in followers is a liar, because we live in an age where validation is held in high regard and it feels good to get the validation of seeing more people enjoy what we do on our blogs enough to put us on their dashboards. But it also doesnât really matter to me when I lose followers because I have a mutual checker so I can unfollow a mutual back if they did so first so I donât feel uncomfy still following someone who no longer wanted me on their dash lol.
#ooc#THIS IS WHY I QUESTIONED HOW MUCH U ACTUALLY LOVE ME I HAD TO DO BASICALLY ALL OF THEM LOL#creturae
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Before I start working on a proper theme for this blog + start roleplaying & actually putting myself out there ... here are a few base rules for all of you who might be interested in interacting with me in the future + aditional information !! you donât necessarily have to read these rather boring guidelines for now ( since I will put the actual rules on my blog once the themeâs done ), but Iâd highly appreciate it if you did !! so... yeah !! thank you. âĄ
RULES
First and foremost, this blog will be extremely selective during the first few tries at roleplay / development. I am fairly new to the Danganronpa fandom & I do not wish to make a fool out of myself with a poor portrayal of Sonia !! She means a lot to me, and so, to keep her that way, for the first few weeks ( & while I try to get a good grip of her character ) I am going to be selective with the people I interact with. Please, donât take this to heart !! If all things go well, this is just a formality for the upcoming weeks !!
I am a very respectful & peaceful person. Even so ( & due to my experience roleplaying on tumblr ) I know that sometimes people may be offended by my words or actions, even if theyâre on accident. Instead of soft blocking or ranting on other social media about me, I appreciate it if I was talked to directly & the matters were resolved on peaceful, friendly terms. Long story short: If there is something that bothers you, please tell me as soon as possible ! May it be a wrong credited image, a code that is not functioning, a mistake on my grammar !! ANYTHING !! I am really open to everything and I am a huge perfectionist with lots of insecurities & memory problems.
THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF ALL!!! That is not really a rule but rather a detail Iâd like to write about. MY MOTHER LANGUAGE ISNâT ENGLISH, so please, donât mind if there are some spelling mistakes in my replies ! Itâd be very much appreciated if when you notice a mistake, you tell me about it so I can fix it. If you shut up and donât answer instead, Iâll just feel horrible and I might very well lose any interest in writing with you. Itâs better to correct people than to leave them hanging;; just saying ! If youâre one of those roleplayers that wonât want to write with someone incapable of âyour level or writingâ please unfollow me asap, because even though I know I am capable of writing and speaking fluently, there WILL be mistakes. Any interaction with people unwilling to help others improve is extremely unnecessary. I am here to have fun and write as I please, not to please others and be judged by my capacities.Â
I absolutely loooove shipping & to develop a relationship between two muses ( may it be romantic, a really neat friendship, brotherhood, etc. ). While Sonia is a Remnant of Despair, I am a huge supporter of Hope. I like to look at things on the brighter side and ... love love !! All things considered ... it wonât be easy with o develop many relationships with Sonia easily. On another note: developing a romantic relationship will be even harder & as much as I do love love, this is not what I am here for.Â
Besides interactions with all of your amazing characters, I am also a peopleâs person !! Which means ... even though I am quiet, chances are that I am most likely dying to meet you & become friends with you !! So donât be shy at all & come talk to me. If not ... just you wait until I gathered enough courage and hit you up !!
About exclusivity ... I, personally, am not a fan of it ? The sensation sometimes may make me feel slightly uncomfortable ... however !! I really like having people I can call my mains because itâs easier for me to talk to them in case I have a certain plot or idea in mind.Â
ADITIONAL INFO
About myself ... the nameâs Asra !! ~ Iâm a 21 years old European fella ( aka you are allowed to use she/he/them pronouns to me as I consider myself to be nonbinary & pronouns to me ... are just words ). I am very, very cool to hang out with ( or rather, I like to think that I am ) & a really friendly person.Â
I am willing to give other contacts upon formal request. Donât expect me to go publishing information about me and my personal life over here. That will only happen in case itâs either necessary or I am extremely ... in need. Sometimes I donât have it easy thanks to my loving ( note the sarcasm ) family, so ... every now & then the bubble bursts & itâs not pretty.
All things aside, I like my own space and I tend not to easily trust people ( I legit have trust issues asifhasoihdajkwe ) ;; I may seem sometimes strict and kinda mean, but I swear that is not my intention. Iâm a silly bean who is looking forward to having lots of fun in a new blog, with a really nice muse !! So, in case you are interested, come talk to me that Iâll welcome you in the warmest way possible. With pie and iced tea.
I ask you to keep in mind that thereâs life outside this screen⌠which often takes more time than Iâd like it to take. I have friends, family, a lovely girlfriend who I love very much, and many other people and things that I like doing such as cosplaying and the obvious⌠Iâm a gaymer !! Sometimes it may take me a while to get to people/replies/starters, but I have a good reason to that.
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Hi there A! Could we get a public review from you? Thank you so much and we hope that you have a breathtaking upcoming week! ~ Admin Catie
DISCLAIMER: this review is onlyreflective of my own opinions and is intended to provide constructivecriticism. there is no obligation to listen to or agree with anything said.
OVERALL:
the reality tv junkie in me loves this concept of this rp. and, asI look around, this typifies exactly what I love about the genre: characterdevelopment, fast-paced events and, of course, a healthy dose of competition. Ilove your color scheme and your theme. for a contained theme, I found it incrediblyeasy to navigateâwhich was a real and true blessing. however, I do think that there are still many things to improve, Ithink a little more consistency and editing in your descriptions and overallaesthetic could really elevate your rp and make it more accessible andattractive to prospective members. I also would like to see a change in yourrules, both in policy and in tone. overall, I wish you guys the best of luck.
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PLOT:
I really do love the rp idea, but I do think the plot page leavesa little something to be desired. For appless rps, especially ones withoutblurbs on the sidebar, you really do need something that is concise, both eye-catching and attention-grabbing, all the while getting to the point. while the content you have on this page isnâtbad, you have a long-ish block of text that can read a little dry at time.
Iâve taken the liberty of editing your plot to take on a more activetone to show you what I mean. while you have no obligation to use it, you dohave full permission to:
 There is no greater motivation in theworld than money â and nowhere is that more present than in ParadiseIsland, MTVâs new reality television show. Sent to a private island inpairs and forced to compete challenges and tasks set by the producers, contestantsoften find themselves doing things they wouldnât normally do, all for a chance at$750,000.
Here at Paradise Island, the fun never stops. With 24/7 Streaming, viewers are given a real-time seat to the  drama,the romance and more! While binge-worthyshows are great, the 12 million daily viewers know the truth: they never have to find something new towatch again.
After a rigorous application process, including video essays about why theywould like to be on the show, interviews and even a test challenge was preparedto see which finalists caused the most drama or had the most chemistry, thehundreds of potential applicants were narrowed down to just 40. The producersrandomly assigned each contestant into pairs and, for the duration of the show,these partners were to share a room in the mansion and work together to win thegrand prize.Â
But what happens nextâwill loveblossom? Will greed step in? Witha 1/20 chance of winning the $750,000, most of the contestants will do anything to get their hands onthat money, but there can only be one pair of winners.
Who will be victorious in the first Paradise Island?
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
paradiseislandhq is anappless  23+ pairedmuse roleplay based on reality television. Contestants have been sent to aprivate island and must work in pairs for the chance to win a grand jackpot of $750,000w/ additional prizes. We focus on weekly character development tasks &challenges, plotting between members, in-character drama, and. of course- vacation vibes! Applicants are free toapply for a wanted connection partnership or to have one picked at random foryou!
 If you would like to take a crack at it, hereâs what I tried to fix.
Have a more ACTIVE TONE
 thisis a purely stylistic choice, but i would suggest varying up sentence structureand utilizing your bold and italic keys a little more as most people in thegenre do.
Try to avoid going on tangents
Inthe beginning, you start with the motivator of money above all and thenimmediately move to love and status, thus weakening the power of your opening
Ialso did not particularly think the tangent about streaming services in thethird paragraph was necessary. Your goal is to emphasize that the show is 24/7âyou donât necessarily have to explain that.
Is it⌠$750,000 or $750,000+, because both were used. That needsto be clear.
The first thing I always look for is the synopsis at the bottom,but yours is a little bit long.Â
Iwould center it as well. You can do this by entering into the html and putting , I think.
Side note: make sure your navigation tabâs blurb matches the one on this page.
I also spotted a couple of grammar errors. Your biggest and mostfrequently repeated error is run-on sentences and a lack of commas.
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RULES
bh, your rules page was a hugeturnoff for me. I donât think it was your intention, but it was very blunt, alittle wordy (ik ik⌠im legit the most wordy person on earth) and read kind ofâŚrude. A a potential applicant and as a reviewer, I just- I wasnât feeling itand would likely be very wary of applying because of it.  There are also quite a few run-on sentenceshere, so watch out for that.
Iâm not going to rewrite the whole thing, but here are a few specificchanges I would make and alternate wordings to your statements.
 Edits
(++) I would put in a HOW WE RP section and add in the stuffabout the tasks, points and challenges. Because that should not go underinclusivity. I also do not understand how it works and I need much moreexplanation. I can guess, of course, but I shouldnât have to. You need toclearly outline how this rp will be run and how tasks will be delegated and pointswill be awarded. Vaguely stating that there will be challenges and points andwhatever will not work.
(++) Your muses section is very confusing. Especially the agebut also the diversity part. I understand that you feel strongly about this,but I brought it up to some friends and many of them were just as confused as Iwas. I read your FAQ and things did not get any clearer. If I were you, I wouldsimply say âall muses and fcs must be older than 25. Please aim to make yourcharacterâs age believable with your faceclaim.â. And that, âto encouragediversity, if you have more than one character, at least one must be POC.â Asyou have it, it is very murky and kind of defensive?? almost. Like I reallywant people to be over 25, but I guess they can play 23, but also they canactually be 40 but they can play in their 20s. Itâs convoluted and I get alittle frustrated trying to read it. In my opinion, you just have to pick asingle age and go with it.
I feel like your unfollow rule is extremely lenient for one ofthese rps. It may lead most of your members being inactive before they getunfollowed.
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Alt wordings (some suggestions)
Although it is expected that in-character partnerships will needcharacter development, please make an effort to interact with all member.Bubble RPing is NOT permitted and we aim to make an inclusive environment whereall muns can explore their characters.
Youroriginal statement really put the onus on the RPer like theyâre already doingsomething wrong.
We are happy to oblige with hiatus or semi-hiatus requests. Lifecomes up and we want all of our players to be comfortable. However, we onlyaccept these requests through asks that come through our inbox.
Reallythe CAPS and the Do not inform by im⌠donât really feel like you want me tocomfortable.
We allow small/medium gifs. Please do not use large gifs. In orderto be accessible we do not allow gif icons under 90x90. >>>>In order to be accessible, large gifs and gif icons under 90px are not allowed.We prefer small/medium gifs.
Feel free to cause in character drama. However, no OOC drama willbe tolerated !! >>> While in-character drama can be fun, OOCdrama will not be tolerated.
idk why but those exclamation points were felt in my soul, man. Sdfjdkf. Look, itâs just a little intimidating.
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ACCESSIBILITY :
I knowthis sounds like a small thing, but I really am impressed.Container themes are notoriously hard to navigate but I had little to notrouble going through yours. If your rp grows, that muse tab is going to behell to update so I admire your commitment.
My onlycritiques are that
 youneed to finish updating your nav so there are no broken/nonexistent linksâwhichIâm sure you will do
on your/map page, you have âwanted connectionsâ spliced so both wanted and connectionare links.
Iâdmuch rather see a page with all the tags to track than just having them floataround on the navigation. But this is totally up to you to change.
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AESTHETIC/GRAPHICS:.
Lovethem. Whoever did them, mostly, did a good job in maintaining the color scheme.My only critique is that Iâm not really feeling the headers for, like, the plotpage and the wanted connectionsâŚetc. These harsh black borders and script fontsstand out a lot and, while the images are nice, they have a completelydifferent color scheme (dark blue-ish tones to the warm and tropical orange ofthe rest of the theme). I wish they would! Because otherwise, I really do likewhat you have here. Â
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MORE.
I would edit or remove the first question onyour FAQ.If anyone asks the question, you can say to promote age diversity andthatâs reason enough. As it stands, the question and the answer just makes me confusedand, some of the statements like âactors over 25 have more resourcesâ is justuntrue.
thebiggest flaw that I see in your RP is inconsistency and occasional lack ofclarity. here is a list of things Iâve found that varied from page to page.
1.     Sometimesthe jackpot is 750,000. Sometimes it is not.
2.     Theblurb on your navigation does not match the blurb on your plot page
3.     Yourefer to this rp both as appless and semiappless.
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TLDR; what i would like to see changed, vaguelyin order of most of least importance. Feel free to ignore any or all of these.
REDO your rules page to include a HOW WE RP detailing thepoints, tasks and challenges
 CHOOSEa clear and consistent ruling on your age bending/limits. It might make senseto you and promoting age diversity is very admirable, but, look, weâre alldumb.
EDITyour rules page to be⌠more affable. Itâs not bad as it, but it just helpspeople get through it.
i wrote a few alternate phrasings you can look at
EDITyour plot to be more engaging and concise to really grab peopleâs attention.
i wrote something above that you may use
DOUBLE CHECK all your pages to make sure that you donâtcontradict yourself in various places.
 as a last note and reminder, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE ANY OF MYSUGGESTIONS. There is no ill-will from me to you. As always, this is notintended to be hate and I genuinely want the best for you guys. However, I amterminally cursed to be nitpicky. Iâve done my very best to make sure my adviceis constructive, but please call me out if you find any of this offensive orcrude.
I genuinely like the idea of the RP and appreciate the work youâveput in. Seeing Dev Patel used--- makes my day. Thank you for your time andpatience.
If you have any more concerns or questions, please feel free tocontact me.
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New Post has been published on http://simplemlmsponsoring.com/attraction-marketing-formula/blogging/how-to-handle-complainers-and-rude-emails-to-support/
How To Handle Complainers And Rude Emails To Support
This article was originally published in 2008, then totally rewritten and re-published in 2019. Which explains some of the dates on the comments below.
Enjoy!
There is a simple fact of life when you run a blog or online business. Heck, this is just a part of simply being alive. And that isâŚ
Youâre going to have people complain.
The things people complain about can vary from legit concerns to trivial matters that you canât believe they just bothered to email you about. Things like:
Typos and grammar errors People taking offense on something you said, or a word you used. People ripping you to shreds over trying to sell something. People jumping to conclusions and calling you a scammer over the smallest things, or because you didnât reply back to them fast enough.
I donât list these things as an attempt to make fun of them. Not at all. However, these are some of the kinds of complaints Iâve seen over the years.
Sometimes theyâll email you privately or email your support address. Other times they might post it publicly on social media, in a blog comment or elsewhere.
So, how do you handle these things? What do you do about it?
Should You Let It Bother You?
Fast answer = NO.
In some cases, it may be hard to take. Sometimes youâll have people really tear into you. It can be hard to be called a scammer or to have somebody tell you theyâre offended by something you said. Not everybody can take the criticism.
It is important to maintain perspective. Always remember:
Most people are good, decent people. Many times, a complaint was sent to you âin the heat of the momentâ and the moment you reply back to them they will apologize. Iâve had it happen more times than I can count. There is always a small percentage of people who will find a way to be upset by something. Life is a big confrontation to them. It is sad, but the problem most definitely isnât you.
Working with a lot of students over the years, I have found that beginning entrepreneurs who are making their first attempts at sales with their blog can be the most sensitive to negative comments. The moment somebody calls them a scammer, they just wilt. If youâve ever felt that way, please check yourself.
When you stand up in this world and do anything out of the ordinary (and putting up a blog and/or selling something online is out of the ordinary), youâre more likely to get an arrow in your back. This is part of having an online presence⌠and it could get more common the more popular your site gets.
So, definitely donât let a complaint bother you or get to you personally. This is simply part of life online.
How To Handle Typo And Grammar Complaints How do you handle it when you get people complaining about typos and grammar errors on your blog? Like soâŚClick To Tweet
Guess what?
When you create a lot of content online, youâre going to make some typos and grammar errors. This just goes with the territory of doing something a lot.
Also, sometimes the way we type isnât exactly grammatically correct. When I create content, I do so in a conversational way. I write in a conversational way. This is because my purpose is to effectively communicate ideas to you and to get understanding. My purpose is NOT to impress an English teacher! Truth is, when you are communicating effectively online, not everything you say or write is going to pass a grammar check.
And so, you have to take these kinds of complaints with the proper perspective. There are certain kinds of people who are just sticklers for proper word structure. To each their own, but just because they are that way doesnât mean you have to change the way you wish to communicate on your own blog. In the end, words are meant to communicate IDEAS. And it is the IDEAS that are more important than some of the nitty-gritty rules of grammar.
So, how do you handle people who point out typos and grammar errors?
You handle it politely, of course.
Hereâs what I do:
Read the email and see what the error is that theyâre pointing out. Reply back and thank them. Thatâs it. You really donât need to comment any further on it. Just thank them for reaching out on the issue. Review the actual issue and decide whether it needs to be corrected. If so, do it.
If it is a legit typo, go fix it. If it is a gross grammar error, go fix it. If, however, it is just conversational speak, works just fine despite the fact that it might earn a red mark from an English teacher, feel free to ignore it.
How To Handle Rude Comments And Emails
What do you do if the person is just being rude? What if theyâre calling you names? Should you even respond?
As I said before, donât let this kind of thing get to you. In more cases than not, they emailed you in the heat of the moment and arenât actually like that. In some cases, theyâve just got issues.
Either way, donât take it personally.
First, always look at whether there is merit to what they say. Even despite the unfortunate tone and even if it is highly inappropriate, there might be a legitimate concern behind that email. Did you fail to deliver on a promise? Did something not get delivered? Did you go too long without replying to them and they felt ignored? Always look. Always look at any complaint as a potential symptom of a breakdown in how you are managing things. If there is something you need to fix, fix it and make it right.
Sometimes nothing is actually wrong, but they think it is. Perhaps they misunderstood something. If thatâs the case, clarify it to them. Realize, however, that if they misunderstood or missed something, others might have as well and just didnât bother to tell you. So, look and see if thereâs something you need to change to make it simpler to avoid the situation again.
In some cases, youâll just have people complaining for little to no reason. Well, like I said⌠sometimes people just do that. Not every such complaint has to be actionable on your part.
Now, do you reply?
In almost all cases, yes. In fact, often youâll just make the situation worse if you ignore them. One of the worst things you can do online is to fail to acknowledge somebodyâs communication.
Now, do you get defensive? Do you tell them where to shove it?
I wouldnât. I always look at whether Iâm in the right or not. If something needs to be corrected, I always do. However, if I evaluate things and determine the person is being rude and unfair incorrectly, I will put them in their place. I never respond in kind, but I remain firm.
In that rare case where a person is just being rude for the sake of being so, you can make a decision on whether you choose to do business with them anymore. For instance, in the last several years, Iâve probably had a couple of people who emailed into support and just ripped into my virtual assistant. Called her names, etc. I have zero tolerance for such things and will ban a person from my business for doing it.
In the end, you are the owner of your business and nobody is forcing you to do business with anybody. If I donât want to deal with a person, I donât. The good thing is, as I said, I think Iâve only had to do this a couple of times in my many years in business.
How To Handle Threats
It does happen (again, in rare cases) that you may get rude emails to you which threaten to do certain things. Iâve had people threaten to call the attorney general on me for a bad review of their product, for instance.
Ah, good times.
Sometimes, people will express dissatisfaction with something you send on your email list and theyâll threaten to unsubscribe. My response? Help them do it.
Honestly, that just tells you theyâre not the right person for your business anyway. It isnât as if theyâre doing you a favor by being on your list. If they donât want to be there, show them the exit.
Sometimes, people will express dissatisfaction with something you send on your email list and theyâll threaten to unsubscribe. My response? Help them do it.Click To Tweet
If you get threats about calling the news media, reporting to the BBB, or some other agency, you can pretty much ignore it. In almost every case, theyâre just blowing smoke in order to try to get a response. It doesnât mean that you ignore the fact that they emailed you and theyâre mad. You treat it like any other complaint. When people are mad, they often say irrational things. So, just look past it and evaluate it with an even keel.
What If The Negative Comment Is Out In Public?
This is often when people get the most worried about complaints is when it is out in the open. Will it hurt business? Will it affect what people think about you? Should you just delete it and go private with it?
As a general rule, you will make things worse if you delete the comment. For instance, a company I work with recently got themselves into a little PR jam because they handled a price increase pretty poorly. In the resulting reaction, they ended up banning one of the figureheads of their Facebook group from the group because he tweeted his dissatisfaction. The fact that he was banned caused even further PR damage and ultimately they reversed it, re-joined him to the group, complete with a pretty lame excuse for what happened that likely wasnât even true. In the end, it just looked really bad.
People will usually make assumptions to fill in what they donât know. And often those assumptions will be against you. Theyâll assume the worst.
So, when a negative comment is in public, I say leave it there and respond to it in public. Be honest and transparent.
Did they say something snotty in a blog comment? Well, if it is a real comment from a real person, leave it there and reply to them.
Did they say something snotty on Facebook, Twitter or some other public forum? Leave it there and reply to them.
If what they say is incorrect, then correct them. If it is a customer complaint, handle it. Be polite and write your response knowing that others may read it that arenât part of the transaction. Use it as an opportunity.
One Last ThingâŚ
You are the owner and founder of your own blog and your own business. And guess what⌠you get to run it the way you please. You get to say things the way that you please. You get to do business with who you please.
Own it. Be confident in that. You always want to be fair and treat people well, but never lose sight of the fact that you are in charge.
Thereâs the old saying that says âThe customer is always right.â Well, guess what⌠sometimes the customer is just plain wrong.
Thereâs the old saying that says âThe customer is always right.â Well, guess what⌠sometimes the customer is just plain wrong.Click To Tweet
The idea that âthe customer is always rightâ carries with it the connotation that you must do whatever it takes to please them, to placate themâŚ. no matter how unreasonable it may be. And thatâs a rather large load of BS, to be frank.
All transactions are voluntarily. They can choose to read your blog, interact with you, or do business with you. Likewise, you get to choose who you work with. If you get yourself into a mindset where you feel you need to grovel for whatever you can get, then thatâs not a mindset that will lend itself to success.
Always do what is right in your business.
Always treat people fairly and seek to over-deliver.
Always create the best content that you can and try to help others find meaningful solutions.
And, be willing to correct course if you got something wrong.
If you do all that, youâre in the right and youâll do just fine. And for those rare cases where you might get yourself a person with a chip on their shoulder, you just let it roll off and treat it accordingly.
Besides⌠the fact that you even get complaints at all means theyâre paying attention. So, well done!
The post How To Handle Complainers And Rude Emails To Support appeared first on Blog Marketing Academy.
Read more: blogmarketingacademy.com
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Monsta X and their conforming s/o
requested by anon~
a/n: okay at first i was confused whether it was comforting or conforming then it was conforming (iactuallysearchedthewordlololololsorry) so i hope you guys enjoy this! i apologize for any misspelled words or wrong grammar and if ever iâve offended someone... huhu i didnât mean to tho. credits to the owners for these gifs!
masterlist
Shownu;
this boy would be clueless about you being conforming about traditional customs, standards, and expectations
once the boys told him about the signs of someone who is conforming, heâd still be clueless
ever since they told him about the signs, he would observe your actions, words and many more
however, once he finally saw a green light to all of the signs he wouldnât really change his perspective of you
heâd be even more interested in you, constantly asking about what you think of this and that
but then heâd also be worried
worried that you might get hurt because of the fact that you conform to anything that is standard in the society
âbabe, you do know that you donât have to go by the book right?â
âi know but i want to do itâ
by the second that left your mouth, shownu would just support you and secretly try to protect you from the bad stuff
i actually dont know what type of bad stuff but yeah, bad stuff
as days passed, he noticed that it got worse
heâd actually try to talk to you, one on one
by the second that you tried to disagree and defend yourself once he finished telling you what he wanted to say
heâd hear you out but then would point out whatâs wrong
but then he wouldnât force you to change since he will always love you for who you are
and after the talk, the two of you might just go out and eat some patbingsu
Wonho;
this boy would notice it right away
being someone who always go by the standards and book, wonho wouldnât be that happy tho
since he knows at some point, youâll just get hurt
and he doesnât want to see the person he loves hurting
so, instead of attacking you directly with his questions, heâll casually talk about the rules or standards that is present in our society
and he would actually tell you that sometimes it would be nice to break the rules
only to receive a negative response from you
thatâs when his questions enter
he, just like shownu, would explain what would happen if youâd be always by the book or complying to all the standards that society wants us to be
and how heâd feel if something happens to youÂ
knowing how cruel the world is, heâd actually ask if you could just lessen the âconforming to every rules and standardsâ
but then once he sees that youâre getting uncomfortable with the topic, heâll change the topic and try to brighten up the mood
before that, heâd apologize to you first since he doesnât want to see you upset because of him
once that he sees you that youâre fine, heâll be happy and maybe try to  talk to you about it maybe some other time
however, when you came home with tears in your eyes, heâd immediately ask you what happenedÂ
and youâll tell him about this dude you almost harassed you because you corrected him and told him that he was going against the rules
and that, my children, will be the start of wonho scolding you but not that scolding that could hurt you but that type of scolding that would make you realizeÂ
but then he wouldnât really force you to change right away
Kihyun;
this boy would find it cute when he sees you abiding the rules and regulations to every single thing
seeing you cutely tell him that heâs going against the rule or standard, fits of giggles coming from him would fill the room, like literally
then this goes by for how many days and heâd still think that youâre cute
but then, he notices that youâre always going for what the society wants,Â
using this set of branded clothes or going on a diet because the society only finds those who have bodies like idols beautiful and when youâre fat, theyâll call you ugly and whatnots
heâd be unhappy about it
like really unhappy
heâd actually confront you out of the blue, asking you why youâre suddenly doing this and that
but when you told him that the society or the book says that blah blah blah blah blah
heâd actually shuush you up.Â
a savage yet honest Kihyun would legit appear
he wouldnât really think of his words to be honest, may it offend or hurt youÂ
but itâs only the way for him to show how much it affects him to see that youâre going through all this trouble
but then once he sees you on the verge of tears, heâd be angry at himselfÂ
heâd immediately apologize for what he just said, if heâd offended or hurt you
and he would also explain his side, how he doesnât want to see you do this just to follow what the society wants
and yes, just like shownu and wonho, he wouldnât force you to change yourself just because he doesnât like that side of yoursÂ
Minhyuk;
this minnie wouldnât be able to notice it right away to be honest
when he sees you doing things by the book, heâd just shrug it off and continue with what heâs doing
when the members tells him about you being a conforming person, heâd just look at them and tell them that he does not know what theyâre talking about
and when they explain it to him, heâd be â. o . )â to every single word that he understands
when minhyuk and you hang out for no particular reason, the thought of you being a conforming person would literally be on repeat on his mind
and once that you notice his change of actions and expressions, youâd ask him whatâs wrong, to which heâd just reply ânothing, babeâ
and youâd just shrug it off lel
when both of you are out, heâd start observing you.... thinking that heâs not obvious
and heâd be freaking obvious, which will make you give him a look and ask him whatâs up
and heâd literally spill everything and youâll just be âlolâ
okay, so once heâd seen everything that answered his questions, heâd still be â. o .)?âÂ
but then once he finally sees the big picture, he wouldnât really care to be honest
since itâs who you really are and he loves you for it
seeing how you can handle all those negative stuff being thrown at you for being always by the book, he respects you for it
but once he sees that someone is going over that line, heâd be mad asf
heâd actually defend you thoÂ
and instead of you being held back, itâll be him that youâll be holding back since he mind cause some trouble lelelel
Hyungwon;Â
it wonât bother this boiii
you going by the book? fine by him, itâs even attractive since a woman like you knows what is wrong and what is rightÂ
and you can also give justice to those who are being ganged up by ignorant people
but then, you going by the standards of the society? not okay
heâd be bothered about it to be honest
like youâre beautiful and unique in your own ways, why follow all of the things that are only accepted by the society?
whatâs wrong about being a unique individual that doesnât give a fck about what other people think?
heâd literally be confused why youâre doing the âacceptedâ or âmust be followedâ standards in the society
but then when he sees you changing yourself because it does not abide to what the society wants damn, iâd better hide myself if i were you
heâd be legit straightforward with youÂ
asking you whyâre youâre changing yourself and heâd be pissed off, i tell you
he doesnât want you to change yourself for someone who youâre really not, someone whoâs the standard of acceptance in the society
no, heâs not gonna take all that bs coz he knows that youâre some whoâs pure and whoâs freaking amazing
but then heâs totally fine with you going by the book
but then heâd be annoyed sometimes... especially when the two of you are playing.... boardgames
youâd be like jooheon, saying âtime time time *with matching hand gesture* and heâd reach that point wherein heâd literally stop playing and cuddle with you instead since he loves you...Â
and heâd still love you for who you are despite being a conforming person. if you still want to continue with what you really want, heâd support you but then heâd tell you to limit your actions tho since he doesnât want to see you hurt
Jooheon;
this bundle of cuteness wouldnât really mind if youâre complying to all of the rules and regulations
but then heâd mind if youâd follow the standards of society
since he himself does not want to see you lose self-esteem or self-confidence or even change yourselfÂ
he wants you to love yourself, may it be your flaws or strengths, he just wants you to learn how to love yourself without letting he âacceptedâ stuff in the society affect you
but then heâd be whiney to be honest
since whenever the two of you are playing, youâll always follow the rulesÂ
and when he suggests a new syle of the game, youâd actually hear him out
and once the two of you finally set the rules for the game, youâd be at peace at firs
and once this cutie decides to break the rules,
youâd be attacking him, telling him that he canât do that since its not in the rules and what not
heâd be bitter, annoyed and yeah, heâd probably whine
but then when it comes to the real world, when someone tries to correct you or him or even the boys,Â
you were always there to defend yourself or him or the boys
and sometimes, things kinda get out of hand and this would literally stress him out
so heâd talk to you about it and allÂ
but then he wouldnât really change his perspectives of you tho
heâd still love you for who you really are and would even want to make you his wife idk what im saying lol
I.M;
do i need to even explain myself? this boy would be literally onto you
knowing that you know almost all of the rules, heâd be asking you random questions like what should you do in blah blah blah
but then, this boy finds it attractiveÂ
and heâd even call you sexy since your brain knows a lot of information and stuffÂ
but then when he sees you conforming to every single thing there is in the society, heâd be confused at first
then heâd be slightly ticked off when he sees what this conforming this has done to you and whatnots
but then he wouldnât force you to stop or change
heâd just maybe, vent out what he thinks about your actions and let you understand his side
and heâd also hear you out and understand your side and idk maybe make a deal with you
like if you succeed in lessening your actions that might cause trouble or burden, then heâd do anything that you want and vice-versa
however, things may not go as planned so there might be times that you might almost get into a fight when youâre outÂ
and this would literally worry him to be honest
then once again, heâd have a heart to heart talk with youÂ
but this time, heâd be firm about what heâs going to say. just imagine a serious changkyun, okay a serious changkyun, okay are you imagining it? good
he respects the idea of you abiding to the rules and regulations and even to the standards of the society BUUUUUT
A BIG BUTT-- a big but, conforming to every single thing that is accepted can cause you trouble or even hurt you ANNND he doesnât want to see you hurt
but then, he wouldnât force you to change. and once this talk is done, his love for you wonât change. heâd still love and support you
#monsta x#monsta x reactions#monsta x reaction#monsta x imagines#monsta x scenarios#monsta x oneshot#monsta x imagine#monsta x scenario#monsta x shownu#monsta x wonho#monsta x kihyun#monsta x minhyuk#monsta x hyungwon#monsta x jooheon#monsta x changkyun#shownu#wonho#kihyun#minhyuk#hyungwon#jooheon#changkyun#i.m#shownu reactions#shownu reaction#shownu imagines#shownu scenarios#shownu imagine#shownu scenario#shownu oneshot
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đś
Iâm still awake at 6am
My friend is in my bed
Iâm lying with my head at the foot and my feet on a chair
Casual
Iâm used to being weird
đ
She keeps half-waking up and poking me with her feet
And I keep scaring her when I move away
But sheâs still half asleep so makes a scared noise but forgets about it two seconds later
This is actually hilarious
Iâm actually trying not to fucking laugh right now
So Iâm just staying up on Tumblr to pass the time
Cause Iâm insomniactic anyway
Is that even a word
Will I ever use grammar
I used apostrophes so yeah maybe
That last sentence should have had at least three commas in it
Fuck grammar
Up da arse
And apparently fuck spelling as well
Oh I already established that with the made-up word
Ow she just kicked me
đ
Wanna get up and eat some cake but sheâll think Iâm a ghost or something and probably attack me with a cucumber or something
Donât ask why I have a cucumber in my room
You should be more worried why I want cake while my friend is sleeping next to me
You dirty bastards
So this will be a fun post for her to read when she wakes up
Or fun pussy as my autocorrect just wrote
Ow stop kicking me
Your toe nails are sharp af
I have no nails so
So what
Where was I going with that argument
Not this doesnât make sense without grammar
Why arenât I using grammar again
Maybe itâs a rebellion against society
Maybe Iâll start a revolution against the English and their fucked up language with itâs fucked up rules
Iâm Welsh after all
So no more grammar
Instead the word baa will be used instead of a full-stop baa
And the name Tom Jones will be used instead of question marks if thatâs alright with you Tom Jones
And popty ping will be used popty ping to keep up with the pattern going on here popty ping instead of commas baa
Make sense Tom Jones
Good baa
Iâm probably gonna wake her up soon if I donât stop laughing baa
She told me sheâd probably be awake by seven baa
Itâs almost half six now baa
Iâm waiting baa
Is this grammar getting annoying Tom Jones
Itâs dyslexic af popty ping as most of you already know popty ping so it is getting quite annoying for me as well baa
Itâs hard to remember where everything goes baa
A bit like having sex really baa
Baa really should not be in the same sentence as sex really
Now that sentence doesnât make sense if youâre still reading it as a full stop
Period really should not be in the same sentence as sex really
Well thatâs a bit true also
Ewww
Unless youâre lesbian vampires then I guess live and let live
If thatâs youâre thing I ainât knocking it
I am legit on the edge of my bed
Fucking toe nails of death edging closer
I feel like Iâm in an Indiana Jones film
Or James Bond
Edging closer to the edge of a cliff while spikes urge me backwards
A bit like Elsa and those guards in her ice castle
Well one was being pushed while the other was being impaled
Oh look Iâve been impaled
Oh bother
If youâre wondering why apostrophes never got a Welsh update itâs because Iâm not that dyslexic
I know how to use grammar
Iâm just being ironic
But Iâd look like an idiot to not use apostrophes
So yeah
Point proven
Ironic peace sign
âŽ
No not that peace sign
â
Yes that peace sign
Wow I need cake
đ°
More cake
đ
More
Wait, real cake tho
I canât eat pixles
Iâm not PAC Man
Mostly cause Iâm not a man
What is a PAC anyway?
It sounds very racist
Well whatever it is Iâm not it
Unless it means dyslexic then yes
I am a PAC
Or Welsh
Then I am a PAC
Or awake at half six in the fucking morning
Then yes
I am
Indeed
A PAC
Man
Minus the man
Omg she curled her legs up
Iâm away from the feet
I feel so freed
It feels like the liberation of France
I have so much space
I might even have enough room to turn over to the other side
đŽ
My god this is a joyous day
This shall go down in the history books
The day I was freed from the torture of toe nails
đ
And nope she just stretched her legs out again
Now Iâm gonna have to cancel that party
Sorry no cake for you
Sorry Chuckles maybe you can come for Halloween instead
Just gonna stick a pin in all these balloons
Watch them all pop
Like my personal space bubble
Pop
It is done
There is nothing less
Oh sweet heavenly slumber why hath art forsaken me
Dramatic faint
Oh wait if Iâm fainted than does that mean Iâm not asleep
Maybe
But how am I typing
Can people sleep-text
I mean people drunk-text all the time and they manage that quite successfully
My mum used to say I sleep-sing
Is that true
Do I really sleep-sing
Of course fucking not I donât fucking sleep
Or use grammar
Or do anything normally
I have legit spent half an hour of my life writing this post non-stop
And for what reason
Was it to tire me out
Was it to cure my boredom
Was it to make my friend laugh when she wakes up
No
No it wasnât
I did this all for cake
Sweet sweet cake
And I would do anything for cake
Iâd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for cake
Ect ect
I forgot the rest of the song
Meatloaf mf
Iâm so fucking bored
Maybe I should write my own song
Or maybe I should sleep
Song it is then
So what should the song be about
Defo not a love song
Unless itâs about my love for cake
Then it that case it should be about a love triangle between me cake and pie
Why pie
Because sheâs my cherry pie
And fuck all that rest of the song idkfml
I love how my autocorrect didnât even bother to suggest a word for that
đ
So maybe the song should be about
Hold you horses she just actually for real tucked her legs up
Halaluhja
Praise the gods above
Or below
Or in the middle
Where you chillin at Gabriel
But omg Iâm so fucking happy
Iâm alive
Iâm insomniactic but alive
I just wanna get up and great the world with a happy smile
Hello sunshine
Goodbye sunshine cause letâs be real this is Britain
Hello rain-clouds
Hello puddles
Hello awkward snail that tries to hug the pavement when I try and move you out from the middle of the pavement
Hello shops that are closed on a Sunday because fuck the milk I need for my morning cup of tea
Did I say morning
Sorry I meant 5 in the afternoon when I finally get the energy to role or of bed
Itâs winter of course the sun has fucked of by 5pm
Sorry lad a babe in Australia wants me to kiss her whole body
đ
Does anyone what call freckles sun-kisses
Donât worry I donât call them that
My mum calls them that though
She used to tells us that so we wouldnât feel bad about having them
Mumâs covered in them
Either sheâs trying to spread possitivity about freckles or sheâs having an affair with the sun
I mean itâs pretty hot
Who wouldnât bang that
Me
And probably most of the population of the earth
Donât worry mum youâve got it all to yourself
But when youâre complaining about how youâre heart burns in desire
Just realise it is actually burning
Yup it actually burns
Burn
Oh my god Iâm so bored
I just realised this whole post is like an hour in the life of the brain of Jesse Hester
Wtf
What a title
Screw whatever title I gave this post
That is the official title now
Itâs only been there-quarters-of-an-hour
Fuck
Youâre only three-quarters the way through this post
Ha
Ha ha
Ha
Bored yet
Cause I sure am
I want cake
I want tea
I want dick
-s like Mr Fedora Guy to fuck off
Ow stop kicking me baa
Iâve decided to start implementing the Welsh grammar again baa
It was creative and fun baa
What popty ping donât you like it Tom Jones
Whatâs not to like about it Tom Jones
I thought you loved reading everything in Welsh baa
Iâll try writing in real Welsh then
Helo
I love how the Autocorrect changed it to help
Literally what Iâm thinking right now
Helo
Dwi'n Jesse ydw i
Stop trying to capitalise i
Itâs a word not the English word
Why do we capitalise I by itself but not the letter A by itself
And why did my Autocorrect decide to keep that I upcapitalised
Questions
I have ten minutes to talk
Fuck Iâm slowing down
Never
Capitalise the word never
Because I havenât actually fully capitalised any words yet
What the fuck is this post
I donât even fucking know anymore
This was supposed to be just a fun little thing to keep me occupied
But now
Now this is a legend
A legacy
I have seven minutes to keep this up
Even if I feel sleep I canât give this up
I canât give up the randomness
I canât give up the bad grammar
And I will not
For the love of God
Give up the
God
Damn
Cake
Capitalise the word Cake for drama
I love how my autocorrect make cake a person
Cake
Like itâs a name or something
Well Cake is my cakefriend now
Weâre official
Donât worry The Wife⢠weâre still legally married
Holy fuck five minutes guys
I honestly donât know how to end this post
I feel like it should just go out on a bang
But I donât want to spoil the structure by suddenly adding a gif is something
What can I say
What can I do
Omg so many choices
But non is good enough
God I feel like Iâm choosing universities all over again
What am I talking about I only ever wanted to go to this uni
Fuck the others
Three minutes
Holy fuck
Holy mother of fucking
Mothers fuck
Sad but true truth
Ew
I donât want to think about that
I legit shipped my mum with the sun about twenty minutes ago
Two minutes
Shit shit shit
What do to
What do fucking do
Oh donât you dare kick me
No
No way
Ugh
What is my life
One minute
Omg
Omgggggggggg
Add as many adjectives beginning with G to that acronym
Jess I love you bae
đ
Love you forever!!! â¤
SEVEN MOTHER FUCKING O'CLOCK
2 notes
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Podcast: Religionâs Role in Mental Illness Treatment
Does religion help or harm people with severe mental illness? In todayâs Not Crazy podcast, Gabe and Lisa welcome Rachel Star Wither, host of the Inside Schizophrenia podcast, to discuss religionâs role (or lack thereof) in treating those struggling with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Rachel relates her personal experiences of mixing religion with her illness and shares how she currently manages to believe in God while keeping her faith âseparateâ from her symptoms.
Tune in for a deep discussion on religion and severe mental illness, including Rachelâs 3-day exorcism experience at age 17.
(Transcript Available Below)
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 Guest Information for âRachel Star Wither- Religion Mental Illnessâ Podcast Episode
Rachel Star Withers is the host of the Inside Schizophrenia podcast, and a mental health advocate who lives with schizophrenia. She creates comedic and mental health videos and has appeared in numerous TV shows.
    About The Not Crazy Podcast Hosts
Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from Gabe Howard. To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.
    Lisa is the producer of the Psych Central podcast, Not Crazy. She is the recipient of The National Alliance on Mental Illnessâs âAbove and Beyondâ award, has worked extensively with the Ohio Peer Supporter Certification program, and is a workplace suicide prevention trainer. Lisa has battled depression her entire life and has worked alongside Gabe in mental health advocacy for over a decade. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband; enjoys international travel; and orders 12 pairs of shoes online, picks the best one, and sends the other 11 back.
  Computer Generated Transcript for âRachel Star Wither- Religion Mental Illnessâ Episode
Editorâs Note:Â Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Lisa: Youâre listening to Not Crazy, a psych central podcast hosted by my ex-husband, who has bipolar disorder. Together, we created the mental health podcast for people who hate mental health podcasts.
Gabe: Hello, everyone, and welcome to this episode of the Not Crazy podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I am here with my co-host, Lisa. Lisa, welcome to the show.
Lisa: Thanks, Gabe. So todayâs quote is a delusion held by one person is a mental illness, held by a few is a cult, and held by many is a religion. And that is actually a super common saying. So weâre not going to really have an attribution.
Gabe: Do you mean there isnât one or you just donât want to give the personâs name?
Lisa: I could not find where it comes from originally. Comedians have said this, posters say this. It doesnât seem to be something I can pinpoint down to one specific person.
Gabe: Well, we are very thorough in our research department, which consists of only Lisa.
Lisa: And Google, Lisa and Google.
Gabe: Itâs Lisa using Google, so you still get all the credit. So weâre going to be discussing religion in this episode and no doubt alienate 90% of our audience. This is a great choice for a new podcast. Like remember all of those records that we hit last week? Well, those are gone now.
Lisa: Well, but you never know. The 10% that we keep, those are going to be the best ones. So those of you who are not already alienated, youâre my favorite.
Gabe: There are some people who just they donât want to hear the topic of religion. You either agree with them and youâre good, because if you disagree with them, youâre bad. Now, our show is designed to bring in all sorts of points of views, all sorts of topics. So weâre not trying to alienate or offend anybody. So so please put on your big boy pants and take a listen. I promise it will be worth the journey. Now, Lisa and I, we are not very religious people, which is why we have a guest coming up in a few minutes who defines as a person who is religious. And because we did want to be fair. We didnât want an hour of Gabe and Lisa talking about how religion wasnât important to us. But everywhere we go, spirituality, religion, it comes up as one of the pillars of recovery. And this strikes people like Gabe and Lisa as odd. But it comes up so often it must not be.
Lisa: Well, it shouldnât strike us as odd, though, because religion is quite common in our society. It permeates almost everything around us. So itâs really not surprising that itâs in the recovery community, that is involved in mental illness and mental health. It comes up for everything.
Gabe: The concept of a higher power is probably the most well-known place where religion is in like addiction recovery.
Lisa: Twelve steps.
Gabe: Right. Thatâs the 12 step group, AA is the most popular. But thereâs also like Emotions Anonymous and then thereâs support groups, classes. So this higher power is everywhere. And Iâm surprised I personally have never in my entire life attended or led a support group that in one of the rules or in one of the pillars or in one of the agreements or in one of the steps did not involve religion. So clearly it is on everybodyâs minds. And I want to talk about what to do, of course, if you donât identify that way. If itâs one of the twelve steps, does this mean that you canât make it to the end? It does kind of get messy. Because now letâs say that you do acknowledge a higher power. Iâve heard many a story of people arguing over what that higher power looks like. Well, we both believe in a higher power, but your higher power is wrong.
Lisa: Well, especially in the U.S., the 12 step model really dominates all things mental health, mental illness, recovery, addiction. Iâve even been to groups or to therapy programs that are not about addiction. I personally never struggled with addiction. And they still say we use a 12 step model. That was designed for addiction recovery, so how is that going to help me with my depression?
Gabe: All right, Lisa, I think that weâve established that religion in America is prominent. Before we get to our very cool guest, a little background from us. I graduated from a Catholic high school. I was raised Catholic. My father is Protestant. Iâve read the Bible cover to cover. And while I donât consider myself to be a religious person, my entire family is and works on me weekly to find the church again. So I really feel like I have a good understanding of religion in America. Lisa, I know youâre also non-religious, but what is your background? Do you have any?
Lisa: I was raised with religion. My family went to church every Sunday. I stopped attending when I was in college, but I have read the Bible and taken a lot of theology classes. And I donât consider myself to be a Christian, but I do have a lot of background and knowledge about the religion.
Gabe: Now, Rachel Star Withers is the host of the podcast Inside Schizophrenia. Sheâs a person living with schizophrenia. Rachel is a religious person, so weâre probably going to disagree. Rachel, are you cool with that?
Rachel: I absolutely am.
Gabe: I love it when I invite people on the show and in the little email, Iâm like, look, weâve selected you because we donât agree with much of what youâve done or said. And thatâs why we want to make sure that your viewpoint is acknowledged. A lot of people think itâs a trap. Do you think itâs a trap, Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah, I assumed thatâs why I was on the show.
Lisa: That is not boding well for your relationship with Rachel, Gabe.
Gabe: Do you think that we are part of the gotcha podcast media?
Lisa: Is that a thing?
Gabe: No,
Lisa: I do. If that is a thing, I want to be part of that. Make that a thing.
Gabe: Rachel, we have established that Gabe and Lisa are not so religious. Can you talk about your religious background and your general feelings and just your personal belief system?
Rachel: Well, I grew up in the south, in the Bible Belt, so thatâs like a church on every corner. Very, very conservative type Christianity. And if youâre not even, like, familiar with the South and everything, you have different denominations and some denominations are looked down upon. A lot of the people around here wouldnât even consider Catholicism Christianity. They wouldnât consider Pentecostal Christianity. It is like, no, your either like Baptist, Southern Baptist. I mean, you can get a little crazy and be nondenominational, but that just means Baptist. Like legit, thatâs what that means.
Gabe: Are you a Christian? Are you Baptist? What is Rachel Star Withersâ religious affiliation?
Rachel: I pretty much always say that Iâm Christian and that I believe what Jesus said were the two main commandments. And in the Bible, one of the disciples comes up to Jesus and was like, Yo, Jesus. Of the ten. What are the main two? You know, like, if I just gotta stick to two of them, what are the main two of these ten? If weâre going to really simplify this, Jesus. And Jesus said love God, love people. That it all could be summed up. And I believe that is the overall message is love something or care about something bigger than yourself and then care about people. Another great way of saying this is donât be a dick.
Lisa: I am not familiar with the Bible verse where Jesus said, well, the most important thing is to not be a dick.
Rachel: Yes, itâs in there.
Lisa: I will Google that and find the verse.
Rachel: Itâs reworded.
Lisa: Youâre paraphrasing?
Rachel: I like to use King James, old school. So itâs like thou shalt not be a dick-eth.
Gabe: Rachel, one of the things that is kind of striking me is on one hand, youâre being very cavalier, you know, but on the other hand, I know that you are very religious and you are also a solid studier of theology. One of the reasons that we picked you is because we feel that youâre very reasonable. Youâre not too far one way or the other. We also picked you because youâre cool as hell. But
Rachel: Right.
Lisa: And available.
Gabe: And available
Rachel: Right. Yeah, I mean.
Gabe: Thatâs very helpful.Â
Lisa: You currently define as Christian, but youâre not picking a specific denomination. Are you currently a churchgoer?
Rachel: Growing up, my family actually started the church we went to and it was like my great grandmother started the church.
Lisa: Oh, wow.
Rachel: Yeah. And which is a big deal, like my grandmother, she taught in the church. Very, very religious background. And it was Southern Baptist, which is pretty much known to be like the strictest. I was on the puppet team and like we had to be careful with the puppets, that they didnât move too much because that would look like they were dancing, and dancing was forbidden. Even puppet dancing.
Lisa: Whoa!
Rachel: Like literally, we couldnât have the puppets sway too much because dancing is not allowed.
Gabe: Rachel, I donât mean to try to nail you down, but just in the interest of the conversation, in the debate and to know where everybody stands, if you were pressed to check a box, to define yourself as required by the Not Crazy Podcast debating rules.
Lisa: Or the U.S. Census.
Gabe: What would you pick?
Rachel: Christianity, Christian.
Gabe: And do you go to church on Sundays?
Rachel: I do not.
Gabe: Can you still be very religious and not go to church on Sunday? In your opinion?
Rachel: Absolutely. I am in South Carolina. A lot of the churches around here, especially in the current political environment, have become incredibly political. Which I do not agree with. So I donât currently go to any church. I study a lot. I still read my Bible very regularly. I actually take a lot of online biblical classes because I love the history and all that kind of stuff.
Gabe: I think itâs interesting that you brought up that church is playing a role where you donât feel that they belong, and the example that you used was politics. Segue over to mental illness, do you feel that religion has a role in recovery from mental illness? And if so, what is it?
Rachel: I do think it plays a role. I donât think that it should play a role in the beginning, and I donât think it should play a large overall role.
Gabe: Now, explain what you mean, âin the beginning.â Like, should religion diagnose you?
Rachel: What I always tell people is thatâs great that you believe in whatever religion, pick one, I donât care. But if someone is having psychosis, you donât need to be taking them to church every week. Because itâs just going to fuel that psychotic-ness of not understanding reality, versus fantasy. And that was a lot of the problems what happened with me, I was starting to have schizophrenia, and instead of getting real help, I had a lot of church people being like, well, no, thatâs Satan. Well, no, oh, that hallucination thatâs Satan manifesting. And so they werenât helping me at all. They were telling me, donât get medication and letâs pray over it. And everything youâre seeing is real. And so I was very untreated for many years because, yeah, they made life much more harder for me to get real help.
Lisa: What age were you when this was going on?
Rachel: My late teens, early 20s, was when things really got bad. But I grew up and when I was little, I was told the same thing. It just, I kind of thought everyone had demons and stuff. If you go to church every Sunday. Well, if you go to church three times a week, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and all you hear about is angels and demons. And then if youâre hallucinating like me, thatâs like, well, yeah, obviously Iâm seeing the angels and demons we all keep talking about.
Gabe: See, now for my money, that is why I believe that religion can be extraordinarily dangerous, because, after all, youâre right that thereâs a lot of imagery of Satan doing things. And Iâve talked to many, many people that say that they did not go to a doctor and they did not get help because they thought that they were just being punished for their sins, that this was Satanâs involvement and what they needed was more church. This is why I think that religion and spirituality should have zero part in recovery from mental illness. And I want to be clear here. Iâm talking about severe and persistent mental illness. I understand that the role of spirituality in mental health issues, you know, anxiety and the grief process, etc. Iâm talking bipolar disorder, major depression, hearing things in your head. What do you say about that?
Rachel: And I agree with what youâre saying. The other side of that coin, which I think is far more dangerous, isnât so much that youâre being punished by Satan, itâs that youâre being called on by God. People who are being punished, I feel bad. Iâm not going to lash out. And we have so many issues, and if you look around our current political climate and things, itâs more so the thought of, oh, weâre chosen. I have to do this. And thatâs where it gets dangerous. And thatâs kind of like what was happening with me, was it was more so like, OK, Godâs choosing you to see a realm that you shouldnât see. Youâve been given special powers and you have now a requirement. Itâs not so much I feel bad. Itâs Iâm supposed to go and do this thing. And thatâs where I think the dangerous part is, especially when weâre talking about like schizophrenia.
Lisa: You were expressing to people around you, Iâm seeing these things, Iâm having these visions, Iâm hearing these voices. And theyâre responding to you, Oh, well, thatâs God or thatâs a demon talking to you. Either way. And that made sense to you, because after all, youâve grown up with hearing about this all the time, every week. Why wouldnât you believe that was sensible and normal? At what point did you start to think, huh? I donât know, thereâs something off about this? Or did you ever?
Rachel: Iâm going to say I donât really think I ever, I never 100% believed, like other people telling me that God was constantly trying to test me. Thatâs just a lot of testing. I hallucinate like 90% of the time. Itâs like weâve got, you know, Jesus, chill, man. So I feel that goes to where some religious people, if you donât understand mental health, and you have someone with a very severe mental health problem coming to you and youâre a counselor, youâre a leader or whatever. It gets really dangerous because you canât give good advice. Youâre giving very dangerous advice. And I was 17 at the time and I got a lot of very dangerous advice. Like, Yeah. Oh, well, thatâs Satan. Youâre full of Satan. You have to like now not eat for the next week because you have to get the Satan out of you. And apparently Satan loves food. Heâs a fatty. So that, thatâll work.
Lisa: Wow, that is so horrifying.
Gabe: And you followed this advice, and if I understand correctly, you followed this advice straight to an exorcist.
Rachel: They told me I had demons in me. And they said, weâre going to do an exorcism. Well, I didnât seek it out. I was at a Christian school at the time, a college. So I was living there. And, yeah, they were like, no, no, we got this.
Lisa: And how did your family respond to that?
Rachel: They, I donât think they knew anything about it. Or if they did it, they didnât realize what level we were at.
Gabe: Youâre kind of burying the lead here, you went through an exorcism.
Rachel: Yes, I did. I did.
Gabe: Just. Youâre just talking about it like I went through an exorcism,
Rachel: I did. Yeah.
Gabe: Like it was just like, you know, I tried that new restaurant and I didnât like it, so I moved on. No, thereâs a lot of trauma thatâs involved in all of this. What was that like? Because you believed that, you have to believe in order to go through an exorcism. Just to be clear, you now have to believe that you are possessed by Satan and thatâs why you need this. What was this like both as a human and of course, how did it impact your symptoms of schizophrenia? Because you believe this?
Rachel: Unfortunately, it was not like the movies. My head didnât spin around, I didnât like spew out a black blood or anything, so it would not make a very good movie, is what I have to say. It lasted three days with three different women.
Lisa: Wow.
Rachel: One of which was like nine months pregnant at the time. So when I look back, thatâs my thing. Itâs like I didnât pay for this. They volunteered. It was like, what are you getting out of this? Youâre very pregnant, lady. But she led it. And it was three days of no eating, no drinking, them laying hands and praying. And me at age 17, having to confess every sin. I was like the best little Christian girl in the world. So it isnât like I had all this wonderful sex parties and orgies to talk about. It was like I had to confess that I watched the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer once. Thatâs the intensity of the sins Iâm having to confess for three days.
Lisa: So your level sin with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer was so great that it made sense to the people around you. Demons are obviously possessing this girl because clearly thatâs so much sin. So?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Like, what the hell?
Lisa: It doesnât sound like something thatâs real, right?Â
Rachel: It doesnât.
Lisa: That people in modern society would actually consider this a reasonable idea, a reasonable thing to do, especially for a child.
Rachel: And something you have to understand, it wasnât even a commonplace thing. To be in like a normal church and them say, whoa, you need an exorcism. It would be pretty bad. That means youâve already failed because you let Satan in. The fact that Satan was able to even do that. So the whole thing was very shameful. Everybody freaking knew, because they freaking told every freaking body because youâve got to watch out for the demon possessed one.
Lisa: Wow. Whoa.
Rachel: I know. And then just real life I never wanted to talk about. I was so embarrassed. I didnât want my family to know. I didnât want any friends to know what had happened. I didnât talk about it for about 10 years. And ironically, I then make this video about it, you know, thinking no one has ever been through what I went through. This is so ridiculous. But, you know, Iâm gonna make a video because it is a weird thing. And so many people have reached out to me whoâve went through the exact same thing. The youngest being four years old.
Lisa: Wow
Rachel: The person saying that theyâd had them since they were age four.
Lisa: I feel sick.
Gabe: Was this the first treatment that you ever received for schizophrenia?
Rachel: So at the school, apparently, the guy I was seeing was a real doctor because he subscribed in an anti-depressant and I was on it for like a few months and it didnât work.Â
Gabe: So you did see a doctor.
Rachel: On campus, the campus doctor, yes.
Gabe: Right. You were prescribed something that didnât work. And so this was the second treatment for schizophrenia that you received. You are a religious person and now youâre getting all of these e-mails for people that are describing that theyâre getting exorcisms and other religious ceremonies as treatment. How did that make you feel? Because for me, just to be blunt, it makes me angry at religion. This is why I do not participate. But you very much still love religion, even though, frankly, what youâre describing is horrendous.
Rachel: Yes. You have to understand, if you are religious or you have that kind of background, the very first person youâre going to go to for help is a religious leader. Whether youâre talking about your Sunday school teacher to a bigger churches actually have counseling centers. They have counselors that are part of your church. It was pretty normal growing up that we would, you know, schedule a meeting with the youth pastor or the assistant pastor of the church if you were having like a problem in your marriage, with your kids, at school. So, like, thatâs who you would go to. And thatâs why this, you know, unfortunately, is a more common than not thing where theyâll bring up, OK, well, letâs pray over you. Letâs have you do this kind of religious thing and you donât go see, like, a real doctor or, I donât say a real counselor because, yes, you can be whatever. But you get the idea. Youâre more likely to have religious help than a normal doctor or psychiatristâs help first.
Gabe: We all seem to agree, from all our different walks of life and belief systems, that this is not the role of religion in recovery and that religion should not be doing this as this is bad. That the whole Christian counselor thing, etc. Theyâre not trained. They should refer you to real doctors. At this point, thereâs just no conflict. We all agree. We all should hug. But we completely disagree. I know that we do. Where do you think the role of religion belongs? Again, Lisa and I have established in the beginning, we think it belongs nowhere. Where does Rachel Star Withers believe that religion is helpful in recovery?
Rachel: I feel that once youâre on that road, when you have a solid grasp of whatâs real, whatâs not, for me itâs very helpful. I pray every night. I pray multiple times a day. Itâs not always nice prayers. Gabe likes to joke that I donât curse. I curse a lot in my head and a lot of the time I am talking to my concept of God. For me, it helps to kind of be like, okay, whatâs happening to me? Why is this happening? And being able to talk to someone who knows where the worldâs going, kind of helps me deal with where Iâm at right now. I donât feel like Iâm talking to myself. I feel like I am talking to God or cursing at God, trying to understand whatâs happening to me.
Gabe: So you feel that that prayer is acceptable as long as youâre still seeking medical treatment?
Rachel: Yes. At what point God starts talking back in a booming voice? Might be a red flag.
Lisa: But how do you possibly differentiate that? Because if you believe that God is listening, why is it so unreasonable to think that heâs talking back?
Rachel: Thatâs where it gets a little blurry, and thatâs why you have to kind of keep religion separated in the very beginning where you donât know whatâs real and whatâs not. Iâve had the opposite problem where I feel that God doesnât talk to me and it feels like heâs like talking to everyone else. When I was growing up and still, people always talk about like feeling God and stuff and Iâm like, Iâve never felt that. So I always felt like there was something wrong with me. And I honestly believe 100% that it is my schizophrenia. I donât really feel happiness. Just Iâm never happy. And I think because itâs like chemical things in your brain. And I do think thereâs like a chemical thing that some people, when they worship God or whatever, theyâll be like, I can feel God, I feel close to him. And I think itâs a chemical correct balance. So I have the wrong balance. So thatâs why Iâm not able to experience it.
Lisa: Really?
Rachel: I yeah. I mean, I do believe people feel God and things like that. And I believe I do hear things that sometimes Iâm not 100% sure if thatâs my hallucinations or not. And Iâve just learned not to react either way.
Lisa: So you feel that you are lacking this feeling of God that other people have because your schizophrenia doesnât allow you to have it?
Rachel: Correct.
Lisa: Why couldnât it be the other direction? That you donât have this because itâs not there?
Rachel: I know from like other people in my life, over and over, theyâll be like, wow, I just feel so close to God. I just feel this emotional warmth. And the way they describe it to me is what I think of like happiness and things that I also I donât experience. So thatâs one thing is I think there are ways to connect. You know, your body reacts to different things. And I do think people, theyâre reacting to something. But I think that people with depression, with schizophrenia, with bipolar, who donât experience the world like normal people. I think that for you to have faith, itâs a lot more intense because you donât get the happy feelings. You donât get like the warm fuzzies, but youâre still looking for guidance and hope and you still need to kind of try and figure out the world.
Lisa: This experience that you had when you were 17 is such a betrayal and itâs so awful. You continue to identify as a believer. But how are you able to not just feel so betrayed that you would be done with this?
Rachel: Well, I donât believe in the people. I donât believe in the people. I donât believe in what they did. Itâs like thatâs a complete disconnect from what I think God is. What they did was not religion. They shouldnât have done that.Â
Lisa: Well, but obviously anyone could say that, right?
Rachel: Correct. Yeah.
Lisa: They could say the reverse about you. Theyâre the real religion. Theyâre the true Christians, not you. If the same logic can justify both people having completely opposite beliefs, how are you able to maintain faith in that logic?
Rachel: I feel that thereâs so much stuff thatâs happened in my own life. It just doesnât seem random. And if you know a lot about me, you know, OK. Rachel has schizophrenia. She got a flesh eating bacteria. Like, thereâs so many ridiculously over-the-top things in my life that I really feel, Iâm like, f-you God. Like, what the hell? Iâm like, I was out helping people and I got a flesh eating bacteria. Itâs not like I was drinking and going wild with my sex parties. And youâre gonna get a flesh eating bacteria in your face. So and itâs like I go through things that Iâm like I just feel that thatâs totally God. So, religion is not like a warm, fuzzy thing for me. Trying to understand, my hallucinations have never been nice. Theyâve always been very disturbing. I donât want that to be random. I like at least being able to talk and be like, God, I canât take this tonight. Like, Iâve had nights where I just like I feel like I prayed myself to sleep crying because I couldnât make the horrible things go away. It helps me to believe that there is something there. That the world isnât all darkness.
Lisa: That is a common atheist argument. That this is the proof that God doesnât exist because all this bad stuff happens. But youâre seeing it as itâs actually almost a proof that he does exist. Because?
Rachel: Because then itâs all darkness. Thatâs the most depressing thing in the world to me, is that itâs just darkness then. I donât want to live in a world where itâs just horribleness. I have to believe that there is good and people can choose to be good. And there is like something that wants us to be good and be happy and pushing us towards being good. And thatâs how for me, I know when religion is good or bad is when people do bad things. When you are hurting others, I donât care what your religious book says. No, no. Then you are like everything else. You are adding to the darkness. And I donât, I canât live in a world with the thought of everything is just bad or has the potential to be bad. There is nothing pushing towards good.
Gabe: So itâs interesting that you see religion as pushing toward good. And the reason that I bring that up is because mental illness pushes toward the negative. Is it possible that all of this is just this nebulous concept? Itâs all very random and thereâs nothing pushing towards good. Thereâs nothing pushing toward bad. And everything just sort of happens. It just happens. And thereâs nothing. It sounds like youâre saying that you have this desire for there to be order. And some people would argue that this desire to have things be planned and ordered and un-random is a symptom of schizophrenia because schizophrenia and mental illness and psychosis is just so incredibly random. What do you have to say to that? Because it almost sounds like youâre saying no, no, no, no, no. There is a plan for me that includes schizophrenia, but not everybody believes that. Including the way that we treat schizophrenia. Itâs kind of a mess, right?
Rachel: And that goes back to kind of what causes mental illnesses and stuff. Iâm of belief, because I had it since I was a little kid, that I was born with it. My parents didnât do anything. My mom wasnât like drinking when I was a baby, you know. Thereâs no reason for me to have schizophrenia except that I just do. And I donât think itâs a bad thing. I think itâs just like, I donât know, like asthma. Itâs not like youâre bad because you have asthma. But I do think it was something I was born with. And while I donât, wouldnât say that itâs oh, because I have this God made like a special plan for my life to go and save the exorcists or whatever. So it helps me, though, to, like, feel that, yeah, not everything is bad. That schizophrenia isnât bad. That just all this bad stuff is going to happen to me and hurt and pain. That there is something else out there that I can push towards.
Gabe: Itâs interesting to me because we both have a severe and persistent mental illness. Weâve both had psychosis. And as you know, mental illnesses has caused me great pain and suffering, just like you. And I, Iâm not playing the suffering Olympics. Iâm just pointing that out because we both went through very similar experiences. And what I came through the other side is this has to be random and there canât be somebody that could have saved me and chose not to because thatâs just too much to bear. So therefore, itâs just random and bad luck. And you came through it on the other side that said, well, I canât just have this be random and bad luck because thatâs too much to bear. There must be somebody up there deciding it. And for a lot of people watching us are just like, you know, these are a couple of mentally ill people that their brains donât work right. I mean, frankly, they donât work right. Thatâs why weâre seeking medical treatment. Are we qualified to really discuss this at all? Because after all, we started this show by saying, hey, our brains are broken. And I donât know that weâre ever going to get to a clear answer because after all, thereâs demons under my bed and thereâs colors following you around. What do we do with all of that? Because if we didnât have mental illness, this debate would sound very similar, just with different examples.
Rachel: Right now, weâre probably the most legitimate people to talk about religion is because we start with, hey, our brains are broken.Â
Gabe: Okay.
Rachel: I feel like weâre like more legit because we have that. We can be like, look, we might not be interpreting everything correctly, but this is what I think.
Gabe: You feel that being open to the idea that youâre wrong is a very powerful thing and we seem to strangely agree on this, which is weird because I donât think that we interpret the world the same at all. But you seem to be open to the idea that you could be wrong. Thatâs very unusual in religious circles.
Rachel: Probably, yes.Â
Gabe: Weâll be right back after these messages.
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Gabe: Weâre back discussing the role of religion in mental illness recovery with Inside Schizophrenia Podcast host Rachel Star Withers.
Lisa: So at this point, you feel that your faith has been a help to you in recovery and maintaining your life with mental illness, you know, living well. But I would say that for many people, itâs not a help. Itâs a huge detriment. And that would be the reason why I would get rid of it completely. But you think itâs worth it? You think the potential downsides are worth the upsides that you have received.
Rachel: For me, absolutely. Itâs one of the only reasons Iâm still here. Every night, Iâm cursing towards God sometimes because Iâm wanting to kill myself and me cursing towards him throughout the entire night is the only way I made it to the morning. And that at least that anger, of that spite sometimes will be what kept me going was that no, Iâm not just gonna give up. No. Itâs helped me that, like, feel there is something there, even if Iâm very angry and saying f-you, Iâm going to do this anyway.
Lisa: Again, you see and hear things that are not real. So you donât have any justification for this other stuff, but weâre good on this one. So how have you been able to balance that? And how have your treatment providers been able to work that in?
Rachel: For me, itâs two completely different things. If I were to start thinking God was talking to me, my knee jerk reaction is no, Rachel, that is absolutely a hallucination. And if I get obsessed with something, thatâs when I bring it into, like my counseling. For the most part, and Iâm not saying this is the correct or incorrect thing to do, I think, I donât bring it anything up with religion when it comes to me going to the psychiatrist and talking about medication. I donât say, well, I donât need more medication because me and God had this amazing time at the park yesterday.
Lisa: How would you like to see mental illness treatment and religion separated? Or do you think there is a way that they could be combined?
Rachel: I donât think they should be combined. And Iâm not referring to depression because I know obviously thereâs going to be people listening to the podcasts like, no, you donât understand depression. You just even mentioned a little bit ago about being suicidal. For me, those are such small parts of my mental illness. The schizophrenia, the being confused all the time, the hallucinations, thatâs what Iâm referring to. That I donât feel like can be treated in a religious way. I donât feel like I need to go to a church counselor to talk about trying to understand whatâs real and whatâs not. Because at the end of the day, or at the end of the session, itâs going to be, well, letâs pray before you go. And now youâve left that door open for me to get confused again. And itâs so hard for me to know whatâs real and fake, I donât want, I donât know, any more confusion. So I rather yeah. If Iâm dealing with becoming manic, if Iâm dealing with hallucinations, with reality confusion, that needs to be one hundred percent separate from normal mental health help.
Gabe: Rachel, I too believe that mental health care, mental illness care, and religion need to be separated. But my reason is obviously different from yours. As a religious person, what would you say to your fellow Christians that are going to disagree with you? Because judging by all of the handbooks Iâve read, the rules, the 12 step programs, people believe that mental illness care, mental health care ,and religion should go completely hand in hand. So what do you have to say to your fellow Christians?
Rachel: I think thatâs why you have to understand thereâs a big difference between just being sad, being upset over something, and a severe mental illness. You cannot pray away schizophrenia, bipolar. You have something that you need to go to the doctor. Similar to cancer. OK? Well, I remember actually being in church and this man getting up in front of, like, you know, a couple hundred people and saying he was gonna stop his cancer medication because he had the faith God would heal him. And I was in the church like, oh, no. Spoiler alert, what happened two years later? Anyway, itâs the same way. And unfortunately, so many people in the Christian community or even recovery community, drugs, alcohol, they feel that you are experiencing depression, you are experiencing alcoholism, whatever, because of a weakness, and you need God because you are weak. Thatâs one of the 12 steps. Admit you have no control over it and go to a higher power. That does not work for schizophrenia. That does not work for bipolar. You donât have bipolar because you are weak. You donât have schizophrenia because you are weak. You didnât do anything bad. OK. And I think thatâs where the big hole is, is that theyâre not considering severe mental illness as being real. Theyâre still saying it is like a weakness. Itâs not a real thing, itâs, you know.
Gabe: Itâs interesting what you said there, that the misunderstandings and the stigma and the discrimination towards severe and persistent mental illnesses is possibly not because theyâre overinflating the role of religion, but because theyâre underestimating the seriousness of severe and persistent mental illness. How do we educate religious leaders to get them to understand that? Look, community is important. And itâs very important. Without my family, I would be nowhere. And youâve spoken the same way. We need our support. You know, I am so thankful for all of you. Even the folks on this podcast right now, you have all supported me in my dark times. But some of that support has been, Gabe, go to a doctor. Gabe, make that therapy appointment. You know, Gabe, you need help right now. Because youâre all educated. In your opinion, again, as a Christian, Rachel, how do we help religious leaders see that this is beyond their scope? Because I donât see a lot of religious leaders trying to fill the role of an oncologist. But for some reason, you know, therapy, psychology, psychiatry, theyâre like, we got this. And I donât think theyâre trying to be mean. I really donât.
Rachel: This is going to sound like the complete makes no sense. And thatâs kind of like what this whole podcast has been. Religion in so many ways, it doesnât make sense. Because youâll see like, well, you have to believe in the unseen. You have to believe that Godâs there even though you canât see him. Iâm a huge Bible buff. I love old school translations, the lost books of the Bible. Thereâs so many loopholes. For every verse, thereâs another verse that completely goes against it. And thatâs one of my favorite things, is like getting to debate biblical people because you just canât. Itâs just ridiculous. You could go any direction with any argument. Incest? The Bible is for it. Letâs get this on. Lot and his daughters. Thereâs no, like, right or wrong that you can argue with these things. So, I mean, if you look at it, yeah. Your brain already needs to be scrambled to fully get and be able to understand. And I think to follow any religion, youâve got to be kind of scrambled. And yet when youâre dealing with mental illness, theyâre like, well, thatâs something you canât see. So itâs like they donât believe in it. Theyâre able to believe, like in a giant floating spaghetti monster. But theyâre not going to.
Lisa: All hail his noodly appendage.
Gabe: Yes, Iâm a Pastafarian.
Lisa: Ramen.
Rachel: Yes, but theyâre not willing to believe in mental illness. Theyâll be like, no, thatâs not a real thing, though, thatâs a weakness. Thatâs, you know, you got a really good imagination or oh, thatâs Satan then, itâs not you. Itâs something else. The idea that your brain can hallucinate. No, no, no, no. We all have these biases and blind spots in our lives. The thing I always find most surprising is Iâll talk to people and sometimes the ones who are the most atheists are also then the most weird about other things like superstitions and ghosts and aliens. And Iâll be like, what? You just made fun of me for saying a Bible verse, but youâre over here going on about like these magic crystals.
Lisa: Yeah.
Rachel: What is the difference? Iâm slightly offended.
Lisa: That is a thing that bothers me all the time.
Rachel: Yeah.
Lisa: Either youâre skeptical or youâre not.
Rachel: Right. So Iâm not being like, oh, itâs just Christianity, like itâs across everything almost with us. And Iâm sure each of us have our own, like, little weird things like that.
Gabe: Let let letâs explore that just a little further, because you are correct. You know, this episode is focusing on the role of religion and mental health care and where religion makes things worse and where religion can potentially make things better. But if we take out the word religion and replace it with CBD oil, essential oils, yoga, aromatherapy,Â
Lisa: Crystals.
Gabe: Could have the identical, yeah, crystals. We could literally have the identical conversation. Do you think that sometimes people believe that religion is a solution, again, because of a base misunderstanding about how serious mental illness is? And potentially, Iâm hoping thereâs some religious leaders out there that maybe think to themselves, well, I donât believe that CBD oil or aromatherapy or crystals can cure mental illness, but I sure can. And maybe if they apply it that way, they think to themselves, all right, this is medical in nature. I honestly donât know what point Iâm trying to make, which is a theme with this podcast. But as a Christian, it sounds like you have not used Christianity really to fight schizophrenia. A lot of people I know in recovery keep them separate. But I know a lot of people who are literally in harmâs way right now because, quote, their pastors got this, their faith communities got this. My faith will see me through. And in the meantime, thereâs not a doctor anywhere. And I worry about those people because you got an exorcism. But finally, made your way to a doctor. So many people get the exorcism and then move on to a second exorcism or then theyâre told that they didnât pray hard enough and therefore theyâve got to. These are the things that strike me. Rachael, push back hard against that.
Rachel: Look at our entire world. We have like thousands of years of this is such a big issue. And if itâs not the religions we currently have, thereâll be a new one out in 100 years. Thereâll be some new weird thing we believe in. Thatâs how humans are. Weâre always going to believe in weird crap. And there always are going to be fanatical people who push it to the next level. For my other Christians, my religious people, back to the cancer scenario. If you have cancer, thatâs great. You believe in God, thatâs great. You believe heâs gonna heal you? Spoiler alert. He might have made medicine as that resource of how to heal you. So you can believe and pray to God and still take your medication to get better. Same thing with schizophrenia. I can believe in God and still also believe, hey, I need to take my own anti-psychotics, because thatâs a whole nother level of God talking to me if I donât. That probably is something very physically wrong with me that has nothing to do with the spirit realms, the ghosts, the aliens.
Gabe: For me personally, I believe that religion is a very personal thing, and as long as you donât push your religion on me, I wonât push my lack of religion on you. And thatâs sort of how I live my life. Itâs easier said than done. Iâm not saying that Iâve never got into a Facebook fight because Iâm only human. And it sounds like thatâs where you are as well. And I think thatâs a very mature place to be. But I really, as a mental health advocate, I become terrified when people tell me that they are treating severe and persistent mental illness with religion or some variation thereof. Do you feel the same way? Is this like a part where we agree?
Rachel: I mean, yeah, youâre setting yourself up to fail. And I think now you can also use that with anything. If I decide to treat my very severe schizophrenia with just counseling, Iâm probably setting myself up to fail because this isnât just a hey, I need to go and talk about it. Iâm still going to become very, very, very sick if I just sit around talking about having schizophrenia. I have to be on medication. Iâm on four different antidepressants alone, and I still go to counseling and pray and all this stuff. Does that mean that I donât believe in God because I have to take four antidepressants? No, it just means that I have an illness that I need to, if Iâm going to keep living, I have to do this thing. I have to take this medication.
Gabe: Makes perfect sense to me.
Lisa: Rachel, thank you so much for being here. Do you have any last thoughts that youâd like to share with us?
Rachel: Just if youâre out there and youâre having a hard time and youâve went through things like exorcism and stuff like that, know that youâre not alone and get help. Because we all definitely need help to get through some of our past traumas. And check out Inside Schizophrenia if you want to hear more Gabe at least.
Gabe: Ah, itâs Gabe and Rachel and itâs a really, really cool podcast. Itâs actually hosted by Rachel, I am just the co-host and you can find Inside Schizophrenia on your favorite podcast player or by going to the website, which. Rachel, whatâs the Web site?
Rachel: PsychCentral.com/IS.
Gabe: Rachel, thank you so much. You are the bomb.
Lisa: Yeah. Thank you so much. You were great.
Rachel: Thank you, guys.
Lisa: All right, bye-bye.Â
Rachel: Bye.
Gabe: I thought it was great that Rachel stopped by and, Lisa, I get to work with her all the time, Na na na na naa naaa.
Lisa: Sheâs amazing.
Gabe: Lisa, what are your first impressions?
Lisa: I have trouble understanding how after going through something so horrible as the exorcism, she still finds a place for faith in her recovery. How about you, Gabe? What did you think about what Rachel had to say?
Gabe: One of the things that I think of is support is extraordinarily important in mental illness. Like my recovery is owed to my support system. And if your faith community is extraordinarily supportive and accepting, then, yeah, I love it. But thereâs this base assumption that every single faith community is accepting of people with mental illness, and thatâs not entirely the case. So thereâs a side that we never think about. And if you fall into that side, I want to be very clear that your faith community, your religion, can be a detriment. I suppose the easy answer is, if that is your faith community, you can switch. But we all know that not so easy.
Lisa: Well, and it doesnât have to just be that your faith community doesnât support your recovery in mental illness, it could be that they donât support you either. You know you hear all sorts of horror stories of people who are gay and theyâre rejected by their church. And that can cause a lot of damage.
Gabe: I can also see, and this is what I want to get out there, there are congregations and religions that just flat out donât believe in mental illness. So you and your family may well be willing to see a doctor. But, of course, youâre discouraged. I want to give a shout out to all of the faith leaders, all of the communities that notice something is wrong and support and encourage and help. And I know this from advocacy. Do you know how many churches are involved in advocacy? I visit churches on the regular to provide workshops, etc. So I do have this struggle. Iâm really very much in the middle because churches support their communities in great ways. But again, if they can support their communities in great ways, it does mean that they could be a hindrance. I just want to say to anybody that is a hindrance, please, please reconsider. Because with treatment, recovery is very, very likely.
Lisa: Thereâs just so many variables with the specific person, the specific religion, the community, the faith. So thereâs just no clear cut answer on whether or not religion is going to be helpful or harmful when it comes to your recovery.
Gabe: The reality is, is your mileage may vary. Not everything is inherently good. Not everything is inherently bad.Â
Lisa: Exactly, itâs all about the specifics of the situation. Thereâs not going to be one answer that works for everyone.
Gabe: One of the things that was curious to me is that she mentioned that when she made this video, she got all of these emails from people who were traumatized by it. And Iâm not surprised. I see a lot of abuses like this. And my e-mail is filled with people who are using religion and faith to meet recovery all the time. Now with negative consequences.Â
Lisa: Right.
Gabe: I should be clear like that. Maybe thatâs the thing. Maybe the people who are having good experiences using religion to manage the symptoms of mental illness just arenât e-mailing me. I do want to be open to that possibility. But the people who are hurt, theyâre just so hurt. And whenever I try to get religion to move forward, like, listen, all youâve got to do is stay out of it. Like, they stay out of cancer treatment. Just stay out of it. Whenever anybody hears a story of somebody saying, Iâm quitting my chemotherapy. Iâm not going to an oncologist. Iâm just praying over cancer. Generally speaking, people are like, thatâs not a good idea. But whenever people hear, I am no longer taking the medication, going to therapy, or getting help for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, psychosis, Iâm just going to pray and fall on my church community. People are like, yeah, yeah. I donât have anything against religion. I just want them to move over to the same model as cancer. Is that wrong?
Lisa: This is just another outcome or another symptom of the way that people donât perceive mental illness as being an actual medical problem. Itâs a behavior problem. Itâs a spiritual problem. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. So when someone says, thatâs exactly what Iâm gonna do, Iâm gonna go use religion to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Weâre like, oh, yes, that makes sense. But most people donât think you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps to get rid of cancer. So if you said to them, Iâm going to go use religion to do this, well, that doesnât make sense. You need medicine. So this is just another example of how people do not see mental illness as an actual illness.
Gabe: I think itâs really interesting that when people donât see mental illnesses as serious or something that needs medical intervention or you can do that, you know, pull yourself up by your bootstraps thing, and then it mixes with a controversial topic like religion or medication or other beliefs. That, it becomes this quagmire of weâre no longer discussing the best way to treat people with mental illness, but weâre bringing in our dislike of discussing emotions or dislike of taking medications or just the way society feels about having a mental illness. And all of a sudden youâre not really discussing the best way to get care anymore are you? Youâre now fighting against the thing that you already either liked or disliked when you walked in the door. Do you think religion just falls into that trap? That weâre not actually discussing mental health, weâre just discussing our personal beliefs on religion and weâre just having the wrong discussion entirely?
Lisa: Not necessarily, you always say that the reason people arenât seeking out medical care for mental illness is because they donât see it as being serious. And Iâm sure thatâs part of it, but I donât think thatâs all of it. Itâs not so much that they see it as being trivial or not being serious itâs that they donât understand the base premise of this is a biologically based problem. So itâs not that they think, oh, this is a small thing. No big deal. No. You could easily think that this is a horrible, terrible thing that needs lots and lots of care and lots and lots of resources devoted to it and still not think that it needs these specific type of resources. You could think that, oh, no, the resources it needs are behavioral based or spiritual.
Gabe: So youâre doing everything you can, but because of your base misunderstanding of whatâs wrong.
Lisa: Your base understanding of whatâs causing the problem in the first place. So you can put tons of energy and resources into solving the problem, but if you donât understand what caused it to start with, it doesnât matter how many resources you throw at it because youâre not doing the right things that will work to solve it.
Gabe: This is a grease fire. I really think thatâs a great analogy.
Lisa: Yes.
Gabe: This is a grease fire. You believe that the fire is real. Thereâs no debate at the seriousness of the fire thatâs in your kitchen.
Lisa: You understand the danger.
Gabe: If you have an understanding of grease fires, you smother, you grab the lid, you put it on the pot, you grab towels, you deprive it of oxygen, it goes out and itâs fine. If you donât understand it, even though youâre thinking that itâs very serious, you spray it with water. And then, of course, that blows the grease everywhere. The fire gets worse and itâs horrible. Nobody is saying that water is bad. Nobody is saying that the fire isnât serious. I think thatâs the perfect analogy.
Lisa: That is a perfect analogy because itâs not that people donât think fire is dangerous or that they donât want it out, itâs just that they donât understand what it takes to put it out quickly and safely.
Gabe: I sincerely hope that all the people listening to this, no matter what side of the discussion, the debate that youâre on, or most likely somewhere in the middle. And I hope that youâve listened to the very, very end. I am very flattered with all of our listeners who take the time to write me to tell me that they disagreed with us. But I can tell based on their letters and their e-mails and their comments that they listened all the way to the end. So even though they completely disagreed with us, they still listened and considered our viewpoints. They ultimately considered that we were wrong. I like that. And I want you to know that we have been reading your e-mails. Because our minds have been altered, our minds have been altered during the research of some of these shows. And I think that that is really, really cool. So keep them coming over to, Lisa, whatâs our e-mail address?
Lisa: [email protected]. Again, thatâs [email protected].
Gabe: All right, everybody, I hope you had fun this week. Listen up, hereâs what I need you to do. If you like the podcast, wherever you downloaded it, please subscribe. Use your words and rate us. Share us on social media, email us to your friends. Tell your mom about us. We do crazy well in the mom demographic. And did you know that after the credits there is always an outtake? Basically where Gabe and Lisa either made a mistake, said something funny, or the whole thing just devolved into a giant fight. We hope that you will check it out.
Lisa: And weâll see you next Tuesday.
Announcer: Youâve been listening to the Not Crazy Podcast from Psych Central. For free mental health resources and online support groups, visit PsychCentral.com. Not Crazyâs official website is PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. To work with Gabe, go to gabehoward.com. Want to see Gabe and me in person? Not Crazy travels well. Have us record an episode live at your next event. E-mail [email protected] for details.Â
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Podcast: Religionâs Role in Mental Illness Treatment
Does religion help or harm people with severe mental illness? In todayâs Not Crazy podcast, Gabe and Lisa welcome Rachel Star Wither, host of the Inside Schizophrenia podcast, to discuss religionâs role (or lack thereof) in treating those struggling with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Rachel relates her personal experiences of mixing religion with her illness and shares how she currently manages to believe in God while keeping her faith âseparateâ from her symptoms.
Tune in for a deep discussion on religion and severe mental illness, including Rachelâs 3-day exorcism experience at age 17.
(Transcript Available Below)
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 Guest Information for âRachel Star Wither- Religion Mental Illnessâ Podcast Episode
Rachel Star Withers is the host of the Inside Schizophrenia podcast, and a mental health advocate who lives with schizophrenia. She creates comedic and mental health videos and has appeared in numerous TV shows.
    About The Not Crazy Podcast Hosts
Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from Gabe Howard. To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.
    Lisa is the producer of the Psych Central podcast, Not Crazy. She is the recipient of The National Alliance on Mental Illnessâs âAbove and Beyondâ award, has worked extensively with the Ohio Peer Supporter Certification program, and is a workplace suicide prevention trainer. Lisa has battled depression her entire life and has worked alongside Gabe in mental health advocacy for over a decade. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband; enjoys international travel; and orders 12 pairs of shoes online, picks the best one, and sends the other 11 back.
  Computer Generated Transcript for âRachel Star Wither- Religion Mental Illnessâ Episode
Editorâs Note:Â Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Lisa: Youâre listening to Not Crazy, a psych central podcast hosted by my ex-husband, who has bipolar disorder. Together, we created the mental health podcast for people who hate mental health podcasts.
Gabe: Hello, everyone, and welcome to this episode of the Not Crazy podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I am here with my co-host, Lisa. Lisa, welcome to the show.
Lisa: Thanks, Gabe. So todayâs quote is a delusion held by one person is a mental illness, held by a few is a cult, and held by many is a religion. And that is actually a super common saying. So weâre not going to really have an attribution.
Gabe: Do you mean there isnât one or you just donât want to give the personâs name?
Lisa: I could not find where it comes from originally. Comedians have said this, posters say this. It doesnât seem to be something I can pinpoint down to one specific person.
Gabe: Well, we are very thorough in our research department, which consists of only Lisa.
Lisa: And Google, Lisa and Google.
Gabe: Itâs Lisa using Google, so you still get all the credit. So weâre going to be discussing religion in this episode and no doubt alienate 90% of our audience. This is a great choice for a new podcast. Like remember all of those records that we hit last week? Well, those are gone now.
Lisa: Well, but you never know. The 10% that we keep, those are going to be the best ones. So those of you who are not already alienated, youâre my favorite.
Gabe: There are some people who just they donât want to hear the topic of religion. You either agree with them and youâre good, because if you disagree with them, youâre bad. Now, our show is designed to bring in all sorts of points of views, all sorts of topics. So weâre not trying to alienate or offend anybody. So so please put on your big boy pants and take a listen. I promise it will be worth the journey. Now, Lisa and I, we are not very religious people, which is why we have a guest coming up in a few minutes who defines as a person who is religious. And because we did want to be fair. We didnât want an hour of Gabe and Lisa talking about how religion wasnât important to us. But everywhere we go, spirituality, religion, it comes up as one of the pillars of recovery. And this strikes people like Gabe and Lisa as odd. But it comes up so often it must not be.
Lisa: Well, it shouldnât strike us as odd, though, because religion is quite common in our society. It permeates almost everything around us. So itâs really not surprising that itâs in the recovery community, that is involved in mental illness and mental health. It comes up for everything.
Gabe: The concept of a higher power is probably the most well-known place where religion is in like addiction recovery.
Lisa: Twelve steps.
Gabe: Right. Thatâs the 12 step group, AA is the most popular. But thereâs also like Emotions Anonymous and then thereâs support groups, classes. So this higher power is everywhere. And Iâm surprised I personally have never in my entire life attended or led a support group that in one of the rules or in one of the pillars or in one of the agreements or in one of the steps did not involve religion. So clearly it is on everybodyâs minds. And I want to talk about what to do, of course, if you donât identify that way. If itâs one of the twelve steps, does this mean that you canât make it to the end? It does kind of get messy. Because now letâs say that you do acknowledge a higher power. Iâve heard many a story of people arguing over what that higher power looks like. Well, we both believe in a higher power, but your higher power is wrong.
Lisa: Well, especially in the U.S., the 12 step model really dominates all things mental health, mental illness, recovery, addiction. Iâve even been to groups or to therapy programs that are not about addiction. I personally never struggled with addiction. And they still say we use a 12 step model. That was designed for addiction recovery, so how is that going to help me with my depression?
Gabe: All right, Lisa, I think that weâve established that religion in America is prominent. Before we get to our very cool guest, a little background from us. I graduated from a Catholic high school. I was raised Catholic. My father is Protestant. Iâve read the Bible cover to cover. And while I donât consider myself to be a religious person, my entire family is and works on me weekly to find the church again. So I really feel like I have a good understanding of religion in America. Lisa, I know youâre also non-religious, but what is your background? Do you have any?
Lisa: I was raised with religion. My family went to church every Sunday. I stopped attending when I was in college, but I have read the Bible and taken a lot of theology classes. And I donât consider myself to be a Christian, but I do have a lot of background and knowledge about the religion.
Gabe: Now, Rachel Star Withers is the host of the podcast Inside Schizophrenia. Sheâs a person living with schizophrenia. Rachel is a religious person, so weâre probably going to disagree. Rachel, are you cool with that?
Rachel: I absolutely am.
Gabe: I love it when I invite people on the show and in the little email, Iâm like, look, weâve selected you because we donât agree with much of what youâve done or said. And thatâs why we want to make sure that your viewpoint is acknowledged. A lot of people think itâs a trap. Do you think itâs a trap, Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah, I assumed thatâs why I was on the show.
Lisa: That is not boding well for your relationship with Rachel, Gabe.
Gabe: Do you think that we are part of the gotcha podcast media?
Lisa: Is that a thing?
Gabe: No,
Lisa: I do. If that is a thing, I want to be part of that. Make that a thing.
Gabe: Rachel, we have established that Gabe and Lisa are not so religious. Can you talk about your religious background and your general feelings and just your personal belief system?
Rachel: Well, I grew up in the south, in the Bible Belt, so thatâs like a church on every corner. Very, very conservative type Christianity. And if youâre not even, like, familiar with the South and everything, you have different denominations and some denominations are looked down upon. A lot of the people around here wouldnât even consider Catholicism Christianity. They wouldnât consider Pentecostal Christianity. It is like, no, your either like Baptist, Southern Baptist. I mean, you can get a little crazy and be nondenominational, but that just means Baptist. Like legit, thatâs what that means.
Gabe: Are you a Christian? Are you Baptist? What is Rachel Star Withersâ religious affiliation?
Rachel: I pretty much always say that Iâm Christian and that I believe what Jesus said were the two main commandments. And in the Bible, one of the disciples comes up to Jesus and was like, Yo, Jesus. Of the ten. What are the main two? You know, like, if I just gotta stick to two of them, what are the main two of these ten? If weâre going to really simplify this, Jesus. And Jesus said love God, love people. That it all could be summed up. And I believe that is the overall message is love something or care about something bigger than yourself and then care about people. Another great way of saying this is donât be a dick.
Lisa: I am not familiar with the Bible verse where Jesus said, well, the most important thing is to not be a dick.
Rachel: Yes, itâs in there.
Lisa: I will Google that and find the verse.
Rachel: Itâs reworded.
Lisa: Youâre paraphrasing?
Rachel: I like to use King James, old school. So itâs like thou shalt not be a dick-eth.
Gabe: Rachel, one of the things that is kind of striking me is on one hand, youâre being very cavalier, you know, but on the other hand, I know that you are very religious and you are also a solid studier of theology. One of the reasons that we picked you is because we feel that youâre very reasonable. Youâre not too far one way or the other. We also picked you because youâre cool as hell. But
Rachel: Right.
Lisa: And available.
Gabe: And available
Rachel: Right. Yeah, I mean.
Gabe: Thatâs very helpful.Â
Lisa: You currently define as Christian, but youâre not picking a specific denomination. Are you currently a churchgoer?
Rachel: Growing up, my family actually started the church we went to and it was like my great grandmother started the church.
Lisa: Oh, wow.
Rachel: Yeah. And which is a big deal, like my grandmother, she taught in the church. Very, very religious background. And it was Southern Baptist, which is pretty much known to be like the strictest. I was on the puppet team and like we had to be careful with the puppets, that they didnât move too much because that would look like they were dancing, and dancing was forbidden. Even puppet dancing.
Lisa: Whoa!
Rachel: Like literally, we couldnât have the puppets sway too much because dancing is not allowed.
Gabe: Rachel, I donât mean to try to nail you down, but just in the interest of the conversation, in the debate and to know where everybody stands, if you were pressed to check a box, to define yourself as required by the Not Crazy Podcast debating rules.
Lisa: Or the U.S. Census.
Gabe: What would you pick?
Rachel: Christianity, Christian.
Gabe: And do you go to church on Sundays?
Rachel: I do not.
Gabe: Can you still be very religious and not go to church on Sunday? In your opinion?
Rachel: Absolutely. I am in South Carolina. A lot of the churches around here, especially in the current political environment, have become incredibly political. Which I do not agree with. So I donât currently go to any church. I study a lot. I still read my Bible very regularly. I actually take a lot of online biblical classes because I love the history and all that kind of stuff.
Gabe: I think itâs interesting that you brought up that church is playing a role where you donât feel that they belong, and the example that you used was politics. Segue over to mental illness, do you feel that religion has a role in recovery from mental illness? And if so, what is it?
Rachel: I do think it plays a role. I donât think that it should play a role in the beginning, and I donât think it should play a large overall role.
Gabe: Now, explain what you mean, âin the beginning.â Like, should religion diagnose you?
Rachel: What I always tell people is thatâs great that you believe in whatever religion, pick one, I donât care. But if someone is having psychosis, you donât need to be taking them to church every week. Because itâs just going to fuel that psychotic-ness of not understanding reality, versus fantasy. And that was a lot of the problems what happened with me, I was starting to have schizophrenia, and instead of getting real help, I had a lot of church people being like, well, no, thatâs Satan. Well, no, oh, that hallucination thatâs Satan manifesting. And so they werenât helping me at all. They were telling me, donât get medication and letâs pray over it. And everything youâre seeing is real. And so I was very untreated for many years because, yeah, they made life much more harder for me to get real help.
Lisa: What age were you when this was going on?
Rachel: My late teens, early 20s, was when things really got bad. But I grew up and when I was little, I was told the same thing. It just, I kind of thought everyone had demons and stuff. If you go to church every Sunday. Well, if you go to church three times a week, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and all you hear about is angels and demons. And then if youâre hallucinating like me, thatâs like, well, yeah, obviously Iâm seeing the angels and demons we all keep talking about.
Gabe: See, now for my money, that is why I believe that religion can be extraordinarily dangerous, because, after all, youâre right that thereâs a lot of imagery of Satan doing things. And Iâve talked to many, many people that say that they did not go to a doctor and they did not get help because they thought that they were just being punished for their sins, that this was Satanâs involvement and what they needed was more church. This is why I think that religion and spirituality should have zero part in recovery from mental illness. And I want to be clear here. Iâm talking about severe and persistent mental illness. I understand that the role of spirituality in mental health issues, you know, anxiety and the grief process, etc. Iâm talking bipolar disorder, major depression, hearing things in your head. What do you say about that?
Rachel: And I agree with what youâre saying. The other side of that coin, which I think is far more dangerous, isnât so much that youâre being punished by Satan, itâs that youâre being called on by God. People who are being punished, I feel bad. Iâm not going to lash out. And we have so many issues, and if you look around our current political climate and things, itâs more so the thought of, oh, weâre chosen. I have to do this. And thatâs where it gets dangerous. And thatâs kind of like what was happening with me, was it was more so like, OK, Godâs choosing you to see a realm that you shouldnât see. Youâve been given special powers and you have now a requirement. Itâs not so much I feel bad. Itâs Iâm supposed to go and do this thing. And thatâs where I think the dangerous part is, especially when weâre talking about like schizophrenia.
Lisa: You were expressing to people around you, Iâm seeing these things, Iâm having these visions, Iâm hearing these voices. And theyâre responding to you, Oh, well, thatâs God or thatâs a demon talking to you. Either way. And that made sense to you, because after all, youâve grown up with hearing about this all the time, every week. Why wouldnât you believe that was sensible and normal? At what point did you start to think, huh? I donât know, thereâs something off about this? Or did you ever?
Rachel: Iâm going to say I donât really think I ever, I never 100% believed, like other people telling me that God was constantly trying to test me. Thatâs just a lot of testing. I hallucinate like 90% of the time. Itâs like weâve got, you know, Jesus, chill, man. So I feel that goes to where some religious people, if you donât understand mental health, and you have someone with a very severe mental health problem coming to you and youâre a counselor, youâre a leader or whatever. It gets really dangerous because you canât give good advice. Youâre giving very dangerous advice. And I was 17 at the time and I got a lot of very dangerous advice. Like, Yeah. Oh, well, thatâs Satan. Youâre full of Satan. You have to like now not eat for the next week because you have to get the Satan out of you. And apparently Satan loves food. Heâs a fatty. So that, thatâll work.
Lisa: Wow, that is so horrifying.
Gabe: And you followed this advice, and if I understand correctly, you followed this advice straight to an exorcist.
Rachel: They told me I had demons in me. And they said, weâre going to do an exorcism. Well, I didnât seek it out. I was at a Christian school at the time, a college. So I was living there. And, yeah, they were like, no, no, we got this.
Lisa: And how did your family respond to that?
Rachel: They, I donât think they knew anything about it. Or if they did it, they didnât realize what level we were at.
Gabe: Youâre kind of burying the lead here, you went through an exorcism.
Rachel: Yes, I did. I did.
Gabe: Just. Youâre just talking about it like I went through an exorcism,
Rachel: I did. Yeah.
Gabe: Like it was just like, you know, I tried that new restaurant and I didnât like it, so I moved on. No, thereâs a lot of trauma thatâs involved in all of this. What was that like? Because you believed that, you have to believe in order to go through an exorcism. Just to be clear, you now have to believe that you are possessed by Satan and thatâs why you need this. What was this like both as a human and of course, how did it impact your symptoms of schizophrenia? Because you believe this?
Rachel: Unfortunately, it was not like the movies. My head didnât spin around, I didnât like spew out a black blood or anything, so it would not make a very good movie, is what I have to say. It lasted three days with three different women.
Lisa: Wow.
Rachel: One of which was like nine months pregnant at the time. So when I look back, thatâs my thing. Itâs like I didnât pay for this. They volunteered. It was like, what are you getting out of this? Youâre very pregnant, lady. But she led it. And it was three days of no eating, no drinking, them laying hands and praying. And me at age 17, having to confess every sin. I was like the best little Christian girl in the world. So it isnât like I had all this wonderful sex parties and orgies to talk about. It was like I had to confess that I watched the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer once. Thatâs the intensity of the sins Iâm having to confess for three days.
Lisa: So your level sin with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer was so great that it made sense to the people around you. Demons are obviously possessing this girl because clearly thatâs so much sin. So?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Like, what the hell?
Lisa: It doesnât sound like something thatâs real, right?Â
Rachel: It doesnât.
Lisa: That people in modern society would actually consider this a reasonable idea, a reasonable thing to do, especially for a child.
Rachel: And something you have to understand, it wasnât even a commonplace thing. To be in like a normal church and them say, whoa, you need an exorcism. It would be pretty bad. That means youâve already failed because you let Satan in. The fact that Satan was able to even do that. So the whole thing was very shameful. Everybody freaking knew, because they freaking told every freaking body because youâve got to watch out for the demon possessed one.
Lisa: Wow. Whoa.
Rachel: I know. And then just real life I never wanted to talk about. I was so embarrassed. I didnât want my family to know. I didnât want any friends to know what had happened. I didnât talk about it for about 10 years. And ironically, I then make this video about it, you know, thinking no one has ever been through what I went through. This is so ridiculous. But, you know, Iâm gonna make a video because it is a weird thing. And so many people have reached out to me whoâve went through the exact same thing. The youngest being four years old.
Lisa: Wow
Rachel: The person saying that theyâd had them since they were age four.
Lisa: I feel sick.
Gabe: Was this the first treatment that you ever received for schizophrenia?
Rachel: So at the school, apparently, the guy I was seeing was a real doctor because he subscribed in an anti-depressant and I was on it for like a few months and it didnât work.Â
Gabe: So you did see a doctor.
Rachel: On campus, the campus doctor, yes.
Gabe: Right. You were prescribed something that didnât work. And so this was the second treatment for schizophrenia that you received. You are a religious person and now youâre getting all of these e-mails for people that are describing that theyâre getting exorcisms and other religious ceremonies as treatment. How did that make you feel? Because for me, just to be blunt, it makes me angry at religion. This is why I do not participate. But you very much still love religion, even though, frankly, what youâre describing is horrendous.
Rachel: Yes. You have to understand, if you are religious or you have that kind of background, the very first person youâre going to go to for help is a religious leader. Whether youâre talking about your Sunday school teacher to a bigger churches actually have counseling centers. They have counselors that are part of your church. It was pretty normal growing up that we would, you know, schedule a meeting with the youth pastor or the assistant pastor of the church if you were having like a problem in your marriage, with your kids, at school. So, like, thatâs who you would go to. And thatâs why this, you know, unfortunately, is a more common than not thing where theyâll bring up, OK, well, letâs pray over you. Letâs have you do this kind of religious thing and you donât go see, like, a real doctor or, I donât say a real counselor because, yes, you can be whatever. But you get the idea. Youâre more likely to have religious help than a normal doctor or psychiatristâs help first.
Gabe: We all seem to agree, from all our different walks of life and belief systems, that this is not the role of religion in recovery and that religion should not be doing this as this is bad. That the whole Christian counselor thing, etc. Theyâre not trained. They should refer you to real doctors. At this point, thereâs just no conflict. We all agree. We all should hug. But we completely disagree. I know that we do. Where do you think the role of religion belongs? Again, Lisa and I have established in the beginning, we think it belongs nowhere. Where does Rachel Star Withers believe that religion is helpful in recovery?
Rachel: I feel that once youâre on that road, when you have a solid grasp of whatâs real, whatâs not, for me itâs very helpful. I pray every night. I pray multiple times a day. Itâs not always nice prayers. Gabe likes to joke that I donât curse. I curse a lot in my head and a lot of the time I am talking to my concept of God. For me, it helps to kind of be like, okay, whatâs happening to me? Why is this happening? And being able to talk to someone who knows where the worldâs going, kind of helps me deal with where Iâm at right now. I donât feel like Iâm talking to myself. I feel like I am talking to God or cursing at God, trying to understand whatâs happening to me.
Gabe: So you feel that that prayer is acceptable as long as youâre still seeking medical treatment?
Rachel: Yes. At what point God starts talking back in a booming voice? Might be a red flag.
Lisa: But how do you possibly differentiate that? Because if you believe that God is listening, why is it so unreasonable to think that heâs talking back?
Rachel: Thatâs where it gets a little blurry, and thatâs why you have to kind of keep religion separated in the very beginning where you donât know whatâs real and whatâs not. Iâve had the opposite problem where I feel that God doesnât talk to me and it feels like heâs like talking to everyone else. When I was growing up and still, people always talk about like feeling God and stuff and Iâm like, Iâve never felt that. So I always felt like there was something wrong with me. And I honestly believe 100% that it is my schizophrenia. I donât really feel happiness. Just Iâm never happy. And I think because itâs like chemical things in your brain. And I do think thereâs like a chemical thing that some people, when they worship God or whatever, theyâll be like, I can feel God, I feel close to him. And I think itâs a chemical correct balance. So I have the wrong balance. So thatâs why Iâm not able to experience it.
Lisa: Really?
Rachel: I yeah. I mean, I do believe people feel God and things like that. And I believe I do hear things that sometimes Iâm not 100% sure if thatâs my hallucinations or not. And Iâve just learned not to react either way.
Lisa: So you feel that you are lacking this feeling of God that other people have because your schizophrenia doesnât allow you to have it?
Rachel: Correct.
Lisa: Why couldnât it be the other direction? That you donât have this because itâs not there?
Rachel: I know from like other people in my life, over and over, theyâll be like, wow, I just feel so close to God. I just feel this emotional warmth. And the way they describe it to me is what I think of like happiness and things that I also I donât experience. So thatâs one thing is I think there are ways to connect. You know, your body reacts to different things. And I do think people, theyâre reacting to something. But I think that people with depression, with schizophrenia, with bipolar, who donât experience the world like normal people. I think that for you to have faith, itâs a lot more intense because you donât get the happy feelings. You donât get like the warm fuzzies, but youâre still looking for guidance and hope and you still need to kind of try and figure out the world.
Lisa: This experience that you had when you were 17 is such a betrayal and itâs so awful. You continue to identify as a believer. But how are you able to not just feel so betrayed that you would be done with this?
Rachel: Well, I donât believe in the people. I donât believe in the people. I donât believe in what they did. Itâs like thatâs a complete disconnect from what I think God is. What they did was not religion. They shouldnât have done that.Â
Lisa: Well, but obviously anyone could say that, right?
Rachel: Correct. Yeah.
Lisa: They could say the reverse about you. Theyâre the real religion. Theyâre the true Christians, not you. If the same logic can justify both people having completely opposite beliefs, how are you able to maintain faith in that logic?
Rachel: I feel that thereâs so much stuff thatâs happened in my own life. It just doesnât seem random. And if you know a lot about me, you know, OK. Rachel has schizophrenia. She got a flesh eating bacteria. Like, thereâs so many ridiculously over-the-top things in my life that I really feel, Iâm like, f-you God. Like, what the hell? Iâm like, I was out helping people and I got a flesh eating bacteria. Itâs not like I was drinking and going wild with my sex parties. And youâre gonna get a flesh eating bacteria in your face. So and itâs like I go through things that Iâm like I just feel that thatâs totally God. So, religion is not like a warm, fuzzy thing for me. Trying to understand, my hallucinations have never been nice. Theyâve always been very disturbing. I donât want that to be random. I like at least being able to talk and be like, God, I canât take this tonight. Like, Iâve had nights where I just like I feel like I prayed myself to sleep crying because I couldnât make the horrible things go away. It helps me to believe that there is something there. That the world isnât all darkness.
Lisa: That is a common atheist argument. That this is the proof that God doesnât exist because all this bad stuff happens. But youâre seeing it as itâs actually almost a proof that he does exist. Because?
Rachel: Because then itâs all darkness. Thatâs the most depressing thing in the world to me, is that itâs just darkness then. I donât want to live in a world where itâs just horribleness. I have to believe that there is good and people can choose to be good. And there is like something that wants us to be good and be happy and pushing us towards being good. And thatâs how for me, I know when religion is good or bad is when people do bad things. When you are hurting others, I donât care what your religious book says. No, no. Then you are like everything else. You are adding to the darkness. And I donât, I canât live in a world with the thought of everything is just bad or has the potential to be bad. There is nothing pushing towards good.
Gabe: So itâs interesting that you see religion as pushing toward good. And the reason that I bring that up is because mental illness pushes toward the negative. Is it possible that all of this is just this nebulous concept? Itâs all very random and thereâs nothing pushing towards good. Thereâs nothing pushing toward bad. And everything just sort of happens. It just happens. And thereâs nothing. It sounds like youâre saying that you have this desire for there to be order. And some people would argue that this desire to have things be planned and ordered and un-random is a symptom of schizophrenia because schizophrenia and mental illness and psychosis is just so incredibly random. What do you have to say to that? Because it almost sounds like youâre saying no, no, no, no, no. There is a plan for me that includes schizophrenia, but not everybody believes that. Including the way that we treat schizophrenia. Itâs kind of a mess, right?
Rachel: And that goes back to kind of what causes mental illnesses and stuff. Iâm of belief, because I had it since I was a little kid, that I was born with it. My parents didnât do anything. My mom wasnât like drinking when I was a baby, you know. Thereâs no reason for me to have schizophrenia except that I just do. And I donât think itâs a bad thing. I think itâs just like, I donât know, like asthma. Itâs not like youâre bad because you have asthma. But I do think it was something I was born with. And while I donât, wouldnât say that itâs oh, because I have this God made like a special plan for my life to go and save the exorcists or whatever. So it helps me, though, to, like, feel that, yeah, not everything is bad. That schizophrenia isnât bad. That just all this bad stuff is going to happen to me and hurt and pain. That there is something else out there that I can push towards.
Gabe: Itâs interesting to me because we both have a severe and persistent mental illness. Weâve both had psychosis. And as you know, mental illnesses has caused me great pain and suffering, just like you. And I, Iâm not playing the suffering Olympics. Iâm just pointing that out because we both went through very similar experiences. And what I came through the other side is this has to be random and there canât be somebody that could have saved me and chose not to because thatâs just too much to bear. So therefore, itâs just random and bad luck. And you came through it on the other side that said, well, I canât just have this be random and bad luck because thatâs too much to bear. There must be somebody up there deciding it. And for a lot of people watching us are just like, you know, these are a couple of mentally ill people that their brains donât work right. I mean, frankly, they donât work right. Thatâs why weâre seeking medical treatment. Are we qualified to really discuss this at all? Because after all, we started this show by saying, hey, our brains are broken. And I donât know that weâre ever going to get to a clear answer because after all, thereâs demons under my bed and thereâs colors following you around. What do we do with all of that? Because if we didnât have mental illness, this debate would sound very similar, just with different examples.
Rachel: Right now, weâre probably the most legitimate people to talk about religion is because we start with, hey, our brains are broken.Â
Gabe: Okay.
Rachel: I feel like weâre like more legit because we have that. We can be like, look, we might not be interpreting everything correctly, but this is what I think.
Gabe: You feel that being open to the idea that youâre wrong is a very powerful thing and we seem to strangely agree on this, which is weird because I donât think that we interpret the world the same at all. But you seem to be open to the idea that you could be wrong. Thatâs very unusual in religious circles.
Rachel: Probably, yes.Â
Gabe: Weâll be right back after these messages.
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Gabe: Weâre back discussing the role of religion in mental illness recovery with Inside Schizophrenia Podcast host Rachel Star Withers.
Lisa: So at this point, you feel that your faith has been a help to you in recovery and maintaining your life with mental illness, you know, living well. But I would say that for many people, itâs not a help. Itâs a huge detriment. And that would be the reason why I would get rid of it completely. But you think itâs worth it? You think the potential downsides are worth the upsides that you have received.
Rachel: For me, absolutely. Itâs one of the only reasons Iâm still here. Every night, Iâm cursing towards God sometimes because Iâm wanting to kill myself and me cursing towards him throughout the entire night is the only way I made it to the morning. And that at least that anger, of that spite sometimes will be what kept me going was that no, Iâm not just gonna give up. No. Itâs helped me that, like, feel there is something there, even if Iâm very angry and saying f-you, Iâm going to do this anyway.
Lisa: Again, you see and hear things that are not real. So you donât have any justification for this other stuff, but weâre good on this one. So how have you been able to balance that? And how have your treatment providers been able to work that in?
Rachel: For me, itâs two completely different things. If I were to start thinking God was talking to me, my knee jerk reaction is no, Rachel, that is absolutely a hallucination. And if I get obsessed with something, thatâs when I bring it into, like my counseling. For the most part, and Iâm not saying this is the correct or incorrect thing to do, I think, I donât bring it anything up with religion when it comes to me going to the psychiatrist and talking about medication. I donât say, well, I donât need more medication because me and God had this amazing time at the park yesterday.
Lisa: How would you like to see mental illness treatment and religion separated? Or do you think there is a way that they could be combined?
Rachel: I donât think they should be combined. And Iâm not referring to depression because I know obviously thereâs going to be people listening to the podcasts like, no, you donât understand depression. You just even mentioned a little bit ago about being suicidal. For me, those are such small parts of my mental illness. The schizophrenia, the being confused all the time, the hallucinations, thatâs what Iâm referring to. That I donât feel like can be treated in a religious way. I donât feel like I need to go to a church counselor to talk about trying to understand whatâs real and whatâs not. Because at the end of the day, or at the end of the session, itâs going to be, well, letâs pray before you go. And now youâve left that door open for me to get confused again. And itâs so hard for me to know whatâs real and fake, I donât want, I donât know, any more confusion. So I rather yeah. If Iâm dealing with becoming manic, if Iâm dealing with hallucinations, with reality confusion, that needs to be one hundred percent separate from normal mental health help.
Gabe: Rachel, I too believe that mental health care, mental illness care, and religion need to be separated. But my reason is obviously different from yours. As a religious person, what would you say to your fellow Christians that are going to disagree with you? Because judging by all of the handbooks Iâve read, the rules, the 12 step programs, people believe that mental illness care, mental health care ,and religion should go completely hand in hand. So what do you have to say to your fellow Christians?
Rachel: I think thatâs why you have to understand thereâs a big difference between just being sad, being upset over something, and a severe mental illness. You cannot pray away schizophrenia, bipolar. You have something that you need to go to the doctor. Similar to cancer. OK? Well, I remember actually being in church and this man getting up in front of, like, you know, a couple hundred people and saying he was gonna stop his cancer medication because he had the faith God would heal him. And I was in the church like, oh, no. Spoiler alert, what happened two years later? Anyway, itâs the same way. And unfortunately, so many people in the Christian community or even recovery community, drugs, alcohol, they feel that you are experiencing depression, you are experiencing alcoholism, whatever, because of a weakness, and you need God because you are weak. Thatâs one of the 12 steps. Admit you have no control over it and go to a higher power. That does not work for schizophrenia. That does not work for bipolar. You donât have bipolar because you are weak. You donât have schizophrenia because you are weak. You didnât do anything bad. OK. And I think thatâs where the big hole is, is that theyâre not considering severe mental illness as being real. Theyâre still saying it is like a weakness. Itâs not a real thing, itâs, you know.
Gabe: Itâs interesting what you said there, that the misunderstandings and the stigma and the discrimination towards severe and persistent mental illnesses is possibly not because theyâre overinflating the role of religion, but because theyâre underestimating the seriousness of severe and persistent mental illness. How do we educate religious leaders to get them to understand that? Look, community is important. And itâs very important. Without my family, I would be nowhere. And youâve spoken the same way. We need our support. You know, I am so thankful for all of you. Even the folks on this podcast right now, you have all supported me in my dark times. But some of that support has been, Gabe, go to a doctor. Gabe, make that therapy appointment. You know, Gabe, you need help right now. Because youâre all educated. In your opinion, again, as a Christian, Rachel, how do we help religious leaders see that this is beyond their scope? Because I donât see a lot of religious leaders trying to fill the role of an oncologist. But for some reason, you know, therapy, psychology, psychiatry, theyâre like, we got this. And I donât think theyâre trying to be mean. I really donât.
Rachel: This is going to sound like the complete makes no sense. And thatâs kind of like what this whole podcast has been. Religion in so many ways, it doesnât make sense. Because youâll see like, well, you have to believe in the unseen. You have to believe that Godâs there even though you canât see him. Iâm a huge Bible buff. I love old school translations, the lost books of the Bible. Thereâs so many loopholes. For every verse, thereâs another verse that completely goes against it. And thatâs one of my favorite things, is like getting to debate biblical people because you just canât. Itâs just ridiculous. You could go any direction with any argument. Incest? The Bible is for it. Letâs get this on. Lot and his daughters. Thereâs no, like, right or wrong that you can argue with these things. So, I mean, if you look at it, yeah. Your brain already needs to be scrambled to fully get and be able to understand. And I think to follow any religion, youâve got to be kind of scrambled. And yet when youâre dealing with mental illness, theyâre like, well, thatâs something you canât see. So itâs like they donât believe in it. Theyâre able to believe, like in a giant floating spaghetti monster. But theyâre not going to.
Lisa: All hail his noodly appendage.
Gabe: Yes, Iâm a Pastafarian.
Lisa: Ramen.
Rachel: Yes, but theyâre not willing to believe in mental illness. Theyâll be like, no, thatâs not a real thing, though, thatâs a weakness. Thatâs, you know, you got a really good imagination or oh, thatâs Satan then, itâs not you. Itâs something else. The idea that your brain can hallucinate. No, no, no, no. We all have these biases and blind spots in our lives. The thing I always find most surprising is Iâll talk to people and sometimes the ones who are the most atheists are also then the most weird about other things like superstitions and ghosts and aliens. And Iâll be like, what? You just made fun of me for saying a Bible verse, but youâre over here going on about like these magic crystals.
Lisa: Yeah.
Rachel: What is the difference? Iâm slightly offended.
Lisa: That is a thing that bothers me all the time.
Rachel: Yeah.
Lisa: Either youâre skeptical or youâre not.
Rachel: Right. So Iâm not being like, oh, itâs just Christianity, like itâs across everything almost with us. And Iâm sure each of us have our own, like, little weird things like that.
Gabe: Let let letâs explore that just a little further, because you are correct. You know, this episode is focusing on the role of religion and mental health care and where religion makes things worse and where religion can potentially make things better. But if we take out the word religion and replace it with CBD oil, essential oils, yoga, aromatherapy,Â
Lisa: Crystals.
Gabe: Could have the identical, yeah, crystals. We could literally have the identical conversation. Do you think that sometimes people believe that religion is a solution, again, because of a base misunderstanding about how serious mental illness is? And potentially, Iâm hoping thereâs some religious leaders out there that maybe think to themselves, well, I donât believe that CBD oil or aromatherapy or crystals can cure mental illness, but I sure can. And maybe if they apply it that way, they think to themselves, all right, this is medical in nature. I honestly donât know what point Iâm trying to make, which is a theme with this podcast. But as a Christian, it sounds like you have not used Christianity really to fight schizophrenia. A lot of people I know in recovery keep them separate. But I know a lot of people who are literally in harmâs way right now because, quote, their pastors got this, their faith communities got this. My faith will see me through. And in the meantime, thereâs not a doctor anywhere. And I worry about those people because you got an exorcism. But finally, made your way to a doctor. So many people get the exorcism and then move on to a second exorcism or then theyâre told that they didnât pray hard enough and therefore theyâve got to. These are the things that strike me. Rachael, push back hard against that.
Rachel: Look at our entire world. We have like thousands of years of this is such a big issue. And if itâs not the religions we currently have, thereâll be a new one out in 100 years. Thereâll be some new weird thing we believe in. Thatâs how humans are. Weâre always going to believe in weird crap. And there always are going to be fanatical people who push it to the next level. For my other Christians, my religious people, back to the cancer scenario. If you have cancer, thatâs great. You believe in God, thatâs great. You believe heâs gonna heal you? Spoiler alert. He might have made medicine as that resource of how to heal you. So you can believe and pray to God and still take your medication to get better. Same thing with schizophrenia. I can believe in God and still also believe, hey, I need to take my own anti-psychotics, because thatâs a whole nother level of God talking to me if I donât. That probably is something very physically wrong with me that has nothing to do with the spirit realms, the ghosts, the aliens.
Gabe: For me personally, I believe that religion is a very personal thing, and as long as you donât push your religion on me, I wonât push my lack of religion on you. And thatâs sort of how I live my life. Itâs easier said than done. Iâm not saying that Iâve never got into a Facebook fight because Iâm only human. And it sounds like thatâs where you are as well. And I think thatâs a very mature place to be. But I really, as a mental health advocate, I become terrified when people tell me that they are treating severe and persistent mental illness with religion or some variation thereof. Do you feel the same way? Is this like a part where we agree?
Rachel: I mean, yeah, youâre setting yourself up to fail. And I think now you can also use that with anything. If I decide to treat my very severe schizophrenia with just counseling, Iâm probably setting myself up to fail because this isnât just a hey, I need to go and talk about it. Iâm still going to become very, very, very sick if I just sit around talking about having schizophrenia. I have to be on medication. Iâm on four different antidepressants alone, and I still go to counseling and pray and all this stuff. Does that mean that I donât believe in God because I have to take four antidepressants? No, it just means that I have an illness that I need to, if Iâm going to keep living, I have to do this thing. I have to take this medication.
Gabe: Makes perfect sense to me.
Lisa: Rachel, thank you so much for being here. Do you have any last thoughts that youâd like to share with us?
Rachel: Just if youâre out there and youâre having a hard time and youâve went through things like exorcism and stuff like that, know that youâre not alone and get help. Because we all definitely need help to get through some of our past traumas. And check out Inside Schizophrenia if you want to hear more Gabe at least.
Gabe: Ah, itâs Gabe and Rachel and itâs a really, really cool podcast. Itâs actually hosted by Rachel, I am just the co-host and you can find Inside Schizophrenia on your favorite podcast player or by going to the website, which. Rachel, whatâs the Web site?
Rachel: PsychCentral.com/IS.
Gabe: Rachel, thank you so much. You are the bomb.
Lisa: Yeah. Thank you so much. You were great.
Rachel: Thank you, guys.
Lisa: All right, bye-bye.Â
Rachel: Bye.
Gabe: I thought it was great that Rachel stopped by and, Lisa, I get to work with her all the time, Na na na na naa naaa.
Lisa: Sheâs amazing.
Gabe: Lisa, what are your first impressions?
Lisa: I have trouble understanding how after going through something so horrible as the exorcism, she still finds a place for faith in her recovery. How about you, Gabe? What did you think about what Rachel had to say?
Gabe: One of the things that I think of is support is extraordinarily important in mental illness. Like my recovery is owed to my support system. And if your faith community is extraordinarily supportive and accepting, then, yeah, I love it. But thereâs this base assumption that every single faith community is accepting of people with mental illness, and thatâs not entirely the case. So thereâs a side that we never think about. And if you fall into that side, I want to be very clear that your faith community, your religion, can be a detriment. I suppose the easy answer is, if that is your faith community, you can switch. But we all know that not so easy.
Lisa: Well, and it doesnât have to just be that your faith community doesnât support your recovery in mental illness, it could be that they donât support you either. You know you hear all sorts of horror stories of people who are gay and theyâre rejected by their church. And that can cause a lot of damage.
Gabe: I can also see, and this is what I want to get out there, there are congregations and religions that just flat out donât believe in mental illness. So you and your family may well be willing to see a doctor. But, of course, youâre discouraged. I want to give a shout out to all of the faith leaders, all of the communities that notice something is wrong and support and encourage and help. And I know this from advocacy. Do you know how many churches are involved in advocacy? I visit churches on the regular to provide workshops, etc. So I do have this struggle. Iâm really very much in the middle because churches support their communities in great ways. But again, if they can support their communities in great ways, it does mean that they could be a hindrance. I just want to say to anybody that is a hindrance, please, please reconsider. Because with treatment, recovery is very, very likely.
Lisa: Thereâs just so many variables with the specific person, the specific religion, the community, the faith. So thereâs just no clear cut answer on whether or not religion is going to be helpful or harmful when it comes to your recovery.
Gabe: The reality is, is your mileage may vary. Not everything is inherently good. Not everything is inherently bad.Â
Lisa: Exactly, itâs all about the specifics of the situation. Thereâs not going to be one answer that works for everyone.
Gabe: One of the things that was curious to me is that she mentioned that when she made this video, she got all of these emails from people who were traumatized by it. And Iâm not surprised. I see a lot of abuses like this. And my e-mail is filled with people who are using religion and faith to meet recovery all the time. Now with negative consequences.Â
Lisa: Right.
Gabe: I should be clear like that. Maybe thatâs the thing. Maybe the people who are having good experiences using religion to manage the symptoms of mental illness just arenât e-mailing me. I do want to be open to that possibility. But the people who are hurt, theyâre just so hurt. And whenever I try to get religion to move forward, like, listen, all youâve got to do is stay out of it. Like, they stay out of cancer treatment. Just stay out of it. Whenever anybody hears a story of somebody saying, Iâm quitting my chemotherapy. Iâm not going to an oncologist. Iâm just praying over cancer. Generally speaking, people are like, thatâs not a good idea. But whenever people hear, I am no longer taking the medication, going to therapy, or getting help for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, psychosis, Iâm just going to pray and fall on my church community. People are like, yeah, yeah. I donât have anything against religion. I just want them to move over to the same model as cancer. Is that wrong?
Lisa: This is just another outcome or another symptom of the way that people donât perceive mental illness as being an actual medical problem. Itâs a behavior problem. Itâs a spiritual problem. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. So when someone says, thatâs exactly what Iâm gonna do, Iâm gonna go use religion to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Weâre like, oh, yes, that makes sense. But most people donât think you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps to get rid of cancer. So if you said to them, Iâm going to go use religion to do this, well, that doesnât make sense. You need medicine. So this is just another example of how people do not see mental illness as an actual illness.
Gabe: I think itâs really interesting that when people donât see mental illnesses as serious or something that needs medical intervention or you can do that, you know, pull yourself up by your bootstraps thing, and then it mixes with a controversial topic like religion or medication or other beliefs. That, it becomes this quagmire of weâre no longer discussing the best way to treat people with mental illness, but weâre bringing in our dislike of discussing emotions or dislike of taking medications or just the way society feels about having a mental illness. And all of a sudden youâre not really discussing the best way to get care anymore are you? Youâre now fighting against the thing that you already either liked or disliked when you walked in the door. Do you think religion just falls into that trap? That weâre not actually discussing mental health, weâre just discussing our personal beliefs on religion and weâre just having the wrong discussion entirely?
Lisa: Not necessarily, you always say that the reason people arenât seeking out medical care for mental illness is because they donât see it as being serious. And Iâm sure thatâs part of it, but I donât think thatâs all of it. Itâs not so much that they see it as being trivial or not being serious itâs that they donât understand the base premise of this is a biologically based problem. So itâs not that they think, oh, this is a small thing. No big deal. No. You could easily think that this is a horrible, terrible thing that needs lots and lots of care and lots and lots of resources devoted to it and still not think that it needs these specific type of resources. You could think that, oh, no, the resources it needs are behavioral based or spiritual.
Gabe: So youâre doing everything you can, but because of your base misunderstanding of whatâs wrong.
Lisa: Your base understanding of whatâs causing the problem in the first place. So you can put tons of energy and resources into solving the problem, but if you donât understand what caused it to start with, it doesnât matter how many resources you throw at it because youâre not doing the right things that will work to solve it.
Gabe: This is a grease fire. I really think thatâs a great analogy.
Lisa: Yes.
Gabe: This is a grease fire. You believe that the fire is real. Thereâs no debate at the seriousness of the fire thatâs in your kitchen.
Lisa: You understand the danger.
Gabe: If you have an understanding of grease fires, you smother, you grab the lid, you put it on the pot, you grab towels, you deprive it of oxygen, it goes out and itâs fine. If you donât understand it, even though youâre thinking that itâs very serious, you spray it with water. And then, of course, that blows the grease everywhere. The fire gets worse and itâs horrible. Nobody is saying that water is bad. Nobody is saying that the fire isnât serious. I think thatâs the perfect analogy.
Lisa: That is a perfect analogy because itâs not that people donât think fire is dangerous or that they donât want it out, itâs just that they donât understand what it takes to put it out quickly and safely.
Gabe: I sincerely hope that all the people listening to this, no matter what side of the discussion, the debate that youâre on, or most likely somewhere in the middle. And I hope that youâve listened to the very, very end. I am very flattered with all of our listeners who take the time to write me to tell me that they disagreed with us. But I can tell based on their letters and their e-mails and their comments that they listened all the way to the end. So even though they completely disagreed with us, they still listened and considered our viewpoints. They ultimately considered that we were wrong. I like that. And I want you to know that we have been reading your e-mails. Because our minds have been altered, our minds have been altered during the research of some of these shows. And I think that that is really, really cool. So keep them coming over to, Lisa, whatâs our e-mail address?
Lisa: [email protected]. Again, thatâs [email protected].
Gabe: All right, everybody, I hope you had fun this week. Listen up, hereâs what I need you to do. If you like the podcast, wherever you downloaded it, please subscribe. Use your words and rate us. Share us on social media, email us to your friends. Tell your mom about us. We do crazy well in the mom demographic. And did you know that after the credits there is always an outtake? Basically where Gabe and Lisa either made a mistake, said something funny, or the whole thing just devolved into a giant fight. We hope that you will check it out.
Lisa: And weâll see you next Tuesday.
Announcer: Youâve been listening to the Not Crazy Podcast from Psych Central. For free mental health resources and online support groups, visit PsychCentral.com. Not Crazyâs official website is PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. To work with Gabe, go to gabehoward.com. Want to see Gabe and me in person? Not Crazy travels well. Have us record an episode live at your next event. E-mail [email protected] for details.Â
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Podcast: Religionâs Role in Mental Illness Treatment
Does religion help or harm people with severe mental illness? In todayâs Not Crazy podcast, Gabe and Lisa welcome Rachel Star Wither, host of the Inside Schizophrenia podcast, to discuss religionâs role (or lack thereof) in treating those struggling with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Rachel relates her personal experiences of mixing religion with her illness and shares how she currently manages to believe in God while keeping her faith âseparateâ from her symptoms.
Tune in for a deep discussion on religion and severe mental illness, including Rachelâs 3-day exorcism experience at age 17.
(Transcript Available Below)
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 Guest Information for âRachel Star Wither- Religion Mental Illnessâ Podcast Episode
Rachel Star Withers is the host of the Inside Schizophrenia podcast, and a mental health advocate who lives with schizophrenia. She creates comedic and mental health videos and has appeared in numerous TV shows.
    About The Not Crazy Podcast Hosts
Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from Gabe Howard. To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.
    Lisa is the producer of the Psych Central podcast, Not Crazy. She is the recipient of The National Alliance on Mental Illnessâs âAbove and Beyondâ award, has worked extensively with the Ohio Peer Supporter Certification program, and is a workplace suicide prevention trainer. Lisa has battled depression her entire life and has worked alongside Gabe in mental health advocacy for over a decade. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband; enjoys international travel; and orders 12 pairs of shoes online, picks the best one, and sends the other 11 back.
  Computer Generated Transcript for âRachel Star Wither- Religion Mental Illnessâ Episode
Editorâs Note:Â Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Lisa: Youâre listening to Not Crazy, a psych central podcast hosted by my ex-husband, who has bipolar disorder. Together, we created the mental health podcast for people who hate mental health podcasts.
Gabe: Hello, everyone, and welcome to this episode of the Not Crazy podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I am here with my co-host, Lisa. Lisa, welcome to the show.
Lisa: Thanks, Gabe. So todayâs quote is a delusion held by one person is a mental illness, held by a few is a cult, and held by many is a religion. And that is actually a super common saying. So weâre not going to really have an attribution.
Gabe: Do you mean there isnât one or you just donât want to give the personâs name?
Lisa: I could not find where it comes from originally. Comedians have said this, posters say this. It doesnât seem to be something I can pinpoint down to one specific person.
Gabe: Well, we are very thorough in our research department, which consists of only Lisa.
Lisa: And Google, Lisa and Google.
Gabe: Itâs Lisa using Google, so you still get all the credit. So weâre going to be discussing religion in this episode and no doubt alienate 90% of our audience. This is a great choice for a new podcast. Like remember all of those records that we hit last week? Well, those are gone now.
Lisa: Well, but you never know. The 10% that we keep, those are going to be the best ones. So those of you who are not already alienated, youâre my favorite.
Gabe: There are some people who just they donât want to hear the topic of religion. You either agree with them and youâre good, because if you disagree with them, youâre bad. Now, our show is designed to bring in all sorts of points of views, all sorts of topics. So weâre not trying to alienate or offend anybody. So so please put on your big boy pants and take a listen. I promise it will be worth the journey. Now, Lisa and I, we are not very religious people, which is why we have a guest coming up in a few minutes who defines as a person who is religious. And because we did want to be fair. We didnât want an hour of Gabe and Lisa talking about how religion wasnât important to us. But everywhere we go, spirituality, religion, it comes up as one of the pillars of recovery. And this strikes people like Gabe and Lisa as odd. But it comes up so often it must not be.
Lisa: Well, it shouldnât strike us as odd, though, because religion is quite common in our society. It permeates almost everything around us. So itâs really not surprising that itâs in the recovery community, that is involved in mental illness and mental health. It comes up for everything.
Gabe: The concept of a higher power is probably the most well-known place where religion is in like addiction recovery.
Lisa: Twelve steps.
Gabe: Right. Thatâs the 12 step group, AA is the most popular. But thereâs also like Emotions Anonymous and then thereâs support groups, classes. So this higher power is everywhere. And Iâm surprised I personally have never in my entire life attended or led a support group that in one of the rules or in one of the pillars or in one of the agreements or in one of the steps did not involve religion. So clearly it is on everybodyâs minds. And I want to talk about what to do, of course, if you donât identify that way. If itâs one of the twelve steps, does this mean that you canât make it to the end? It does kind of get messy. Because now letâs say that you do acknowledge a higher power. Iâve heard many a story of people arguing over what that higher power looks like. Well, we both believe in a higher power, but your higher power is wrong.
Lisa: Well, especially in the U.S., the 12 step model really dominates all things mental health, mental illness, recovery, addiction. Iâve even been to groups or to therapy programs that are not about addiction. I personally never struggled with addiction. And they still say we use a 12 step model. That was designed for addiction recovery, so how is that going to help me with my depression?
Gabe: All right, Lisa, I think that weâve established that religion in America is prominent. Before we get to our very cool guest, a little background from us. I graduated from a Catholic high school. I was raised Catholic. My father is Protestant. Iâve read the Bible cover to cover. And while I donât consider myself to be a religious person, my entire family is and works on me weekly to find the church again. So I really feel like I have a good understanding of religion in America. Lisa, I know youâre also non-religious, but what is your background? Do you have any?
Lisa: I was raised with religion. My family went to church every Sunday. I stopped attending when I was in college, but I have read the Bible and taken a lot of theology classes. And I donât consider myself to be a Christian, but I do have a lot of background and knowledge about the religion.
Gabe: Now, Rachel Star Withers is the host of the podcast Inside Schizophrenia. Sheâs a person living with schizophrenia. Rachel is a religious person, so weâre probably going to disagree. Rachel, are you cool with that?
Rachel: I absolutely am.
Gabe: I love it when I invite people on the show and in the little email, Iâm like, look, weâve selected you because we donât agree with much of what youâve done or said. And thatâs why we want to make sure that your viewpoint is acknowledged. A lot of people think itâs a trap. Do you think itâs a trap, Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah, I assumed thatâs why I was on the show.
Lisa: That is not boding well for your relationship with Rachel, Gabe.
Gabe: Do you think that we are part of the gotcha podcast media?
Lisa: Is that a thing?
Gabe: No,
Lisa: I do. If that is a thing, I want to be part of that. Make that a thing.
Gabe: Rachel, we have established that Gabe and Lisa are not so religious. Can you talk about your religious background and your general feelings and just your personal belief system?
Rachel: Well, I grew up in the south, in the Bible Belt, so thatâs like a church on every corner. Very, very conservative type Christianity. And if youâre not even, like, familiar with the South and everything, you have different denominations and some denominations are looked down upon. A lot of the people around here wouldnât even consider Catholicism Christianity. They wouldnât consider Pentecostal Christianity. It is like, no, your either like Baptist, Southern Baptist. I mean, you can get a little crazy and be nondenominational, but that just means Baptist. Like legit, thatâs what that means.
Gabe: Are you a Christian? Are you Baptist? What is Rachel Star Withersâ religious affiliation?
Rachel: I pretty much always say that Iâm Christian and that I believe what Jesus said were the two main commandments. And in the Bible, one of the disciples comes up to Jesus and was like, Yo, Jesus. Of the ten. What are the main two? You know, like, if I just gotta stick to two of them, what are the main two of these ten? If weâre going to really simplify this, Jesus. And Jesus said love God, love people. That it all could be summed up. And I believe that is the overall message is love something or care about something bigger than yourself and then care about people. Another great way of saying this is donât be a dick.
Lisa: I am not familiar with the Bible verse where Jesus said, well, the most important thing is to not be a dick.
Rachel: Yes, itâs in there.
Lisa: I will Google that and find the verse.
Rachel: Itâs reworded.
Lisa: Youâre paraphrasing?
Rachel: I like to use King James, old school. So itâs like thou shalt not be a dick-eth.
Gabe: Rachel, one of the things that is kind of striking me is on one hand, youâre being very cavalier, you know, but on the other hand, I know that you are very religious and you are also a solid studier of theology. One of the reasons that we picked you is because we feel that youâre very reasonable. Youâre not too far one way or the other. We also picked you because youâre cool as hell. But
Rachel: Right.
Lisa: And available.
Gabe: And available
Rachel: Right. Yeah, I mean.
Gabe: Thatâs very helpful.Â
Lisa: You currently define as Christian, but youâre not picking a specific denomination. Are you currently a churchgoer?
Rachel: Growing up, my family actually started the church we went to and it was like my great grandmother started the church.
Lisa: Oh, wow.
Rachel: Yeah. And which is a big deal, like my grandmother, she taught in the church. Very, very religious background. And it was Southern Baptist, which is pretty much known to be like the strictest. I was on the puppet team and like we had to be careful with the puppets, that they didnât move too much because that would look like they were dancing, and dancing was forbidden. Even puppet dancing.
Lisa: Whoa!
Rachel: Like literally, we couldnât have the puppets sway too much because dancing is not allowed.
Gabe: Rachel, I donât mean to try to nail you down, but just in the interest of the conversation, in the debate and to know where everybody stands, if you were pressed to check a box, to define yourself as required by the Not Crazy Podcast debating rules.
Lisa: Or the U.S. Census.
Gabe: What would you pick?
Rachel: Christianity, Christian.
Gabe: And do you go to church on Sundays?
Rachel: I do not.
Gabe: Can you still be very religious and not go to church on Sunday? In your opinion?
Rachel: Absolutely. I am in South Carolina. A lot of the churches around here, especially in the current political environment, have become incredibly political. Which I do not agree with. So I donât currently go to any church. I study a lot. I still read my Bible very regularly. I actually take a lot of online biblical classes because I love the history and all that kind of stuff.
Gabe: I think itâs interesting that you brought up that church is playing a role where you donât feel that they belong, and the example that you used was politics. Segue over to mental illness, do you feel that religion has a role in recovery from mental illness? And if so, what is it?
Rachel: I do think it plays a role. I donât think that it should play a role in the beginning, and I donât think it should play a large overall role.
Gabe: Now, explain what you mean, âin the beginning.â Like, should religion diagnose you?
Rachel: What I always tell people is thatâs great that you believe in whatever religion, pick one, I donât care. But if someone is having psychosis, you donât need to be taking them to church every week. Because itâs just going to fuel that psychotic-ness of not understanding reality, versus fantasy. And that was a lot of the problems what happened with me, I was starting to have schizophrenia, and instead of getting real help, I had a lot of church people being like, well, no, thatâs Satan. Well, no, oh, that hallucination thatâs Satan manifesting. And so they werenât helping me at all. They were telling me, donât get medication and letâs pray over it. And everything youâre seeing is real. And so I was very untreated for many years because, yeah, they made life much more harder for me to get real help.
Lisa: What age were you when this was going on?
Rachel: My late teens, early 20s, was when things really got bad. But I grew up and when I was little, I was told the same thing. It just, I kind of thought everyone had demons and stuff. If you go to church every Sunday. Well, if you go to church three times a week, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and all you hear about is angels and demons. And then if youâre hallucinating like me, thatâs like, well, yeah, obviously Iâm seeing the angels and demons we all keep talking about.
Gabe: See, now for my money, that is why I believe that religion can be extraordinarily dangerous, because, after all, youâre right that thereâs a lot of imagery of Satan doing things. And Iâve talked to many, many people that say that they did not go to a doctor and they did not get help because they thought that they were just being punished for their sins, that this was Satanâs involvement and what they needed was more church. This is why I think that religion and spirituality should have zero part in recovery from mental illness. And I want to be clear here. Iâm talking about severe and persistent mental illness. I understand that the role of spirituality in mental health issues, you know, anxiety and the grief process, etc. Iâm talking bipolar disorder, major depression, hearing things in your head. What do you say about that?
Rachel: And I agree with what youâre saying. The other side of that coin, which I think is far more dangerous, isnât so much that youâre being punished by Satan, itâs that youâre being called on by God. People who are being punished, I feel bad. Iâm not going to lash out. And we have so many issues, and if you look around our current political climate and things, itâs more so the thought of, oh, weâre chosen. I have to do this. And thatâs where it gets dangerous. And thatâs kind of like what was happening with me, was it was more so like, OK, Godâs choosing you to see a realm that you shouldnât see. Youâve been given special powers and you have now a requirement. Itâs not so much I feel bad. Itâs Iâm supposed to go and do this thing. And thatâs where I think the dangerous part is, especially when weâre talking about like schizophrenia.
Lisa: You were expressing to people around you, Iâm seeing these things, Iâm having these visions, Iâm hearing these voices. And theyâre responding to you, Oh, well, thatâs God or thatâs a demon talking to you. Either way. And that made sense to you, because after all, youâve grown up with hearing about this all the time, every week. Why wouldnât you believe that was sensible and normal? At what point did you start to think, huh? I donât know, thereâs something off about this? Or did you ever?
Rachel: Iâm going to say I donât really think I ever, I never 100% believed, like other people telling me that God was constantly trying to test me. Thatâs just a lot of testing. I hallucinate like 90% of the time. Itâs like weâve got, you know, Jesus, chill, man. So I feel that goes to where some religious people, if you donât understand mental health, and you have someone with a very severe mental health problem coming to you and youâre a counselor, youâre a leader or whatever. It gets really dangerous because you canât give good advice. Youâre giving very dangerous advice. And I was 17 at the time and I got a lot of very dangerous advice. Like, Yeah. Oh, well, thatâs Satan. Youâre full of Satan. You have to like now not eat for the next week because you have to get the Satan out of you. And apparently Satan loves food. Heâs a fatty. So that, thatâll work.
Lisa: Wow, that is so horrifying.
Gabe: And you followed this advice, and if I understand correctly, you followed this advice straight to an exorcist.
Rachel: They told me I had demons in me. And they said, weâre going to do an exorcism. Well, I didnât seek it out. I was at a Christian school at the time, a college. So I was living there. And, yeah, they were like, no, no, we got this.
Lisa: And how did your family respond to that?
Rachel: They, I donât think they knew anything about it. Or if they did it, they didnât realize what level we were at.
Gabe: Youâre kind of burying the lead here, you went through an exorcism.
Rachel: Yes, I did. I did.
Gabe: Just. Youâre just talking about it like I went through an exorcism,
Rachel: I did. Yeah.
Gabe: Like it was just like, you know, I tried that new restaurant and I didnât like it, so I moved on. No, thereâs a lot of trauma thatâs involved in all of this. What was that like? Because you believed that, you have to believe in order to go through an exorcism. Just to be clear, you now have to believe that you are possessed by Satan and thatâs why you need this. What was this like both as a human and of course, how did it impact your symptoms of schizophrenia? Because you believe this?
Rachel: Unfortunately, it was not like the movies. My head didnât spin around, I didnât like spew out a black blood or anything, so it would not make a very good movie, is what I have to say. It lasted three days with three different women.
Lisa: Wow.
Rachel: One of which was like nine months pregnant at the time. So when I look back, thatâs my thing. Itâs like I didnât pay for this. They volunteered. It was like, what are you getting out of this? Youâre very pregnant, lady. But she led it. And it was three days of no eating, no drinking, them laying hands and praying. And me at age 17, having to confess every sin. I was like the best little Christian girl in the world. So it isnât like I had all this wonderful sex parties and orgies to talk about. It was like I had to confess that I watched the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer once. Thatâs the intensity of the sins Iâm having to confess for three days.
Lisa: So your level sin with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer was so great that it made sense to the people around you. Demons are obviously possessing this girl because clearly thatâs so much sin. So?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Like, what the hell?
Lisa: It doesnât sound like something thatâs real, right?Â
Rachel: It doesnât.
Lisa: That people in modern society would actually consider this a reasonable idea, a reasonable thing to do, especially for a child.
Rachel: And something you have to understand, it wasnât even a commonplace thing. To be in like a normal church and them say, whoa, you need an exorcism. It would be pretty bad. That means youâve already failed because you let Satan in. The fact that Satan was able to even do that. So the whole thing was very shameful. Everybody freaking knew, because they freaking told every freaking body because youâve got to watch out for the demon possessed one.
Lisa: Wow. Whoa.
Rachel: I know. And then just real life I never wanted to talk about. I was so embarrassed. I didnât want my family to know. I didnât want any friends to know what had happened. I didnât talk about it for about 10 years. And ironically, I then make this video about it, you know, thinking no one has ever been through what I went through. This is so ridiculous. But, you know, Iâm gonna make a video because it is a weird thing. And so many people have reached out to me whoâve went through the exact same thing. The youngest being four years old.
Lisa: Wow
Rachel: The person saying that theyâd had them since they were age four.
Lisa: I feel sick.
Gabe: Was this the first treatment that you ever received for schizophrenia?
Rachel: So at the school, apparently, the guy I was seeing was a real doctor because he subscribed in an anti-depressant and I was on it for like a few months and it didnât work.Â
Gabe: So you did see a doctor.
Rachel: On campus, the campus doctor, yes.
Gabe: Right. You were prescribed something that didnât work. And so this was the second treatment for schizophrenia that you received. You are a religious person and now youâre getting all of these e-mails for people that are describing that theyâre getting exorcisms and other religious ceremonies as treatment. How did that make you feel? Because for me, just to be blunt, it makes me angry at religion. This is why I do not participate. But you very much still love religion, even though, frankly, what youâre describing is horrendous.
Rachel: Yes. You have to understand, if you are religious or you have that kind of background, the very first person youâre going to go to for help is a religious leader. Whether youâre talking about your Sunday school teacher to a bigger churches actually have counseling centers. They have counselors that are part of your church. It was pretty normal growing up that we would, you know, schedule a meeting with the youth pastor or the assistant pastor of the church if you were having like a problem in your marriage, with your kids, at school. So, like, thatâs who you would go to. And thatâs why this, you know, unfortunately, is a more common than not thing where theyâll bring up, OK, well, letâs pray over you. Letâs have you do this kind of religious thing and you donât go see, like, a real doctor or, I donât say a real counselor because, yes, you can be whatever. But you get the idea. Youâre more likely to have religious help than a normal doctor or psychiatristâs help first.
Gabe: We all seem to agree, from all our different walks of life and belief systems, that this is not the role of religion in recovery and that religion should not be doing this as this is bad. That the whole Christian counselor thing, etc. Theyâre not trained. They should refer you to real doctors. At this point, thereâs just no conflict. We all agree. We all should hug. But we completely disagree. I know that we do. Where do you think the role of religion belongs? Again, Lisa and I have established in the beginning, we think it belongs nowhere. Where does Rachel Star Withers believe that religion is helpful in recovery?
Rachel: I feel that once youâre on that road, when you have a solid grasp of whatâs real, whatâs not, for me itâs very helpful. I pray every night. I pray multiple times a day. Itâs not always nice prayers. Gabe likes to joke that I donât curse. I curse a lot in my head and a lot of the time I am talking to my concept of God. For me, it helps to kind of be like, okay, whatâs happening to me? Why is this happening? And being able to talk to someone who knows where the worldâs going, kind of helps me deal with where Iâm at right now. I donât feel like Iâm talking to myself. I feel like I am talking to God or cursing at God, trying to understand whatâs happening to me.
Gabe: So you feel that that prayer is acceptable as long as youâre still seeking medical treatment?
Rachel: Yes. At what point God starts talking back in a booming voice? Might be a red flag.
Lisa: But how do you possibly differentiate that? Because if you believe that God is listening, why is it so unreasonable to think that heâs talking back?
Rachel: Thatâs where it gets a little blurry, and thatâs why you have to kind of keep religion separated in the very beginning where you donât know whatâs real and whatâs not. Iâve had the opposite problem where I feel that God doesnât talk to me and it feels like heâs like talking to everyone else. When I was growing up and still, people always talk about like feeling God and stuff and Iâm like, Iâve never felt that. So I always felt like there was something wrong with me. And I honestly believe 100% that it is my schizophrenia. I donât really feel happiness. Just Iâm never happy. And I think because itâs like chemical things in your brain. And I do think thereâs like a chemical thing that some people, when they worship God or whatever, theyâll be like, I can feel God, I feel close to him. And I think itâs a chemical correct balance. So I have the wrong balance. So thatâs why Iâm not able to experience it.
Lisa: Really?
Rachel: I yeah. I mean, I do believe people feel God and things like that. And I believe I do hear things that sometimes Iâm not 100% sure if thatâs my hallucinations or not. And Iâve just learned not to react either way.
Lisa: So you feel that you are lacking this feeling of God that other people have because your schizophrenia doesnât allow you to have it?
Rachel: Correct.
Lisa: Why couldnât it be the other direction? That you donât have this because itâs not there?
Rachel: I know from like other people in my life, over and over, theyâll be like, wow, I just feel so close to God. I just feel this emotional warmth. And the way they describe it to me is what I think of like happiness and things that I also I donât experience. So thatâs one thing is I think there are ways to connect. You know, your body reacts to different things. And I do think people, theyâre reacting to something. But I think that people with depression, with schizophrenia, with bipolar, who donât experience the world like normal people. I think that for you to have faith, itâs a lot more intense because you donât get the happy feelings. You donât get like the warm fuzzies, but youâre still looking for guidance and hope and you still need to kind of try and figure out the world.
Lisa: This experience that you had when you were 17 is such a betrayal and itâs so awful. You continue to identify as a believer. But how are you able to not just feel so betrayed that you would be done with this?
Rachel: Well, I donât believe in the people. I donât believe in the people. I donât believe in what they did. Itâs like thatâs a complete disconnect from what I think God is. What they did was not religion. They shouldnât have done that.Â
Lisa: Well, but obviously anyone could say that, right?
Rachel: Correct. Yeah.
Lisa: They could say the reverse about you. Theyâre the real religion. Theyâre the true Christians, not you. If the same logic can justify both people having completely opposite beliefs, how are you able to maintain faith in that logic?
Rachel: I feel that thereâs so much stuff thatâs happened in my own life. It just doesnât seem random. And if you know a lot about me, you know, OK. Rachel has schizophrenia. She got a flesh eating bacteria. Like, thereâs so many ridiculously over-the-top things in my life that I really feel, Iâm like, f-you God. Like, what the hell? Iâm like, I was out helping people and I got a flesh eating bacteria. Itâs not like I was drinking and going wild with my sex parties. And youâre gonna get a flesh eating bacteria in your face. So and itâs like I go through things that Iâm like I just feel that thatâs totally God. So, religion is not like a warm, fuzzy thing for me. Trying to understand, my hallucinations have never been nice. Theyâve always been very disturbing. I donât want that to be random. I like at least being able to talk and be like, God, I canât take this tonight. Like, Iâve had nights where I just like I feel like I prayed myself to sleep crying because I couldnât make the horrible things go away. It helps me to believe that there is something there. That the world isnât all darkness.
Lisa: That is a common atheist argument. That this is the proof that God doesnât exist because all this bad stuff happens. But youâre seeing it as itâs actually almost a proof that he does exist. Because?
Rachel: Because then itâs all darkness. Thatâs the most depressing thing in the world to me, is that itâs just darkness then. I donât want to live in a world where itâs just horribleness. I have to believe that there is good and people can choose to be good. And there is like something that wants us to be good and be happy and pushing us towards being good. And thatâs how for me, I know when religion is good or bad is when people do bad things. When you are hurting others, I donât care what your religious book says. No, no. Then you are like everything else. You are adding to the darkness. And I donât, I canât live in a world with the thought of everything is just bad or has the potential to be bad. There is nothing pushing towards good.
Gabe: So itâs interesting that you see religion as pushing toward good. And the reason that I bring that up is because mental illness pushes toward the negative. Is it possible that all of this is just this nebulous concept? Itâs all very random and thereâs nothing pushing towards good. Thereâs nothing pushing toward bad. And everything just sort of happens. It just happens. And thereâs nothing. It sounds like youâre saying that you have this desire for there to be order. And some people would argue that this desire to have things be planned and ordered and un-random is a symptom of schizophrenia because schizophrenia and mental illness and psychosis is just so incredibly random. What do you have to say to that? Because it almost sounds like youâre saying no, no, no, no, no. There is a plan for me that includes schizophrenia, but not everybody believes that. Including the way that we treat schizophrenia. Itâs kind of a mess, right?
Rachel: And that goes back to kind of what causes mental illnesses and stuff. Iâm of belief, because I had it since I was a little kid, that I was born with it. My parents didnât do anything. My mom wasnât like drinking when I was a baby, you know. Thereâs no reason for me to have schizophrenia except that I just do. And I donât think itâs a bad thing. I think itâs just like, I donât know, like asthma. Itâs not like youâre bad because you have asthma. But I do think it was something I was born with. And while I donât, wouldnât say that itâs oh, because I have this God made like a special plan for my life to go and save the exorcists or whatever. So it helps me, though, to, like, feel that, yeah, not everything is bad. That schizophrenia isnât bad. That just all this bad stuff is going to happen to me and hurt and pain. That there is something else out there that I can push towards.
Gabe: Itâs interesting to me because we both have a severe and persistent mental illness. Weâve both had psychosis. And as you know, mental illnesses has caused me great pain and suffering, just like you. And I, Iâm not playing the suffering Olympics. Iâm just pointing that out because we both went through very similar experiences. And what I came through the other side is this has to be random and there canât be somebody that could have saved me and chose not to because thatâs just too much to bear. So therefore, itâs just random and bad luck. And you came through it on the other side that said, well, I canât just have this be random and bad luck because thatâs too much to bear. There must be somebody up there deciding it. And for a lot of people watching us are just like, you know, these are a couple of mentally ill people that their brains donât work right. I mean, frankly, they donât work right. Thatâs why weâre seeking medical treatment. Are we qualified to really discuss this at all? Because after all, we started this show by saying, hey, our brains are broken. And I donât know that weâre ever going to get to a clear answer because after all, thereâs demons under my bed and thereâs colors following you around. What do we do with all of that? Because if we didnât have mental illness, this debate would sound very similar, just with different examples.
Rachel: Right now, weâre probably the most legitimate people to talk about religion is because we start with, hey, our brains are broken.Â
Gabe: Okay.
Rachel: I feel like weâre like more legit because we have that. We can be like, look, we might not be interpreting everything correctly, but this is what I think.
Gabe: You feel that being open to the idea that youâre wrong is a very powerful thing and we seem to strangely agree on this, which is weird because I donât think that we interpret the world the same at all. But you seem to be open to the idea that you could be wrong. Thatâs very unusual in religious circles.
Rachel: Probably, yes.Â
Gabe: Weâll be right back after these messages.
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Gabe: Weâre back discussing the role of religion in mental illness recovery with Inside Schizophrenia Podcast host Rachel Star Withers.
Lisa: So at this point, you feel that your faith has been a help to you in recovery and maintaining your life with mental illness, you know, living well. But I would say that for many people, itâs not a help. Itâs a huge detriment. And that would be the reason why I would get rid of it completely. But you think itâs worth it? You think the potential downsides are worth the upsides that you have received.
Rachel: For me, absolutely. Itâs one of the only reasons Iâm still here. Every night, Iâm cursing towards God sometimes because Iâm wanting to kill myself and me cursing towards him throughout the entire night is the only way I made it to the morning. And that at least that anger, of that spite sometimes will be what kept me going was that no, Iâm not just gonna give up. No. Itâs helped me that, like, feel there is something there, even if Iâm very angry and saying f-you, Iâm going to do this anyway.
Lisa: Again, you see and hear things that are not real. So you donât have any justification for this other stuff, but weâre good on this one. So how have you been able to balance that? And how have your treatment providers been able to work that in?
Rachel: For me, itâs two completely different things. If I were to start thinking God was talking to me, my knee jerk reaction is no, Rachel, that is absolutely a hallucination. And if I get obsessed with something, thatâs when I bring it into, like my counseling. For the most part, and Iâm not saying this is the correct or incorrect thing to do, I think, I donât bring it anything up with religion when it comes to me going to the psychiatrist and talking about medication. I donât say, well, I donât need more medication because me and God had this amazing time at the park yesterday.
Lisa: How would you like to see mental illness treatment and religion separated? Or do you think there is a way that they could be combined?
Rachel: I donât think they should be combined. And Iâm not referring to depression because I know obviously thereâs going to be people listening to the podcasts like, no, you donât understand depression. You just even mentioned a little bit ago about being suicidal. For me, those are such small parts of my mental illness. The schizophrenia, the being confused all the time, the hallucinations, thatâs what Iâm referring to. That I donât feel like can be treated in a religious way. I donât feel like I need to go to a church counselor to talk about trying to understand whatâs real and whatâs not. Because at the end of the day, or at the end of the session, itâs going to be, well, letâs pray before you go. And now youâve left that door open for me to get confused again. And itâs so hard for me to know whatâs real and fake, I donât want, I donât know, any more confusion. So I rather yeah. If Iâm dealing with becoming manic, if Iâm dealing with hallucinations, with reality confusion, that needs to be one hundred percent separate from normal mental health help.
Gabe: Rachel, I too believe that mental health care, mental illness care, and religion need to be separated. But my reason is obviously different from yours. As a religious person, what would you say to your fellow Christians that are going to disagree with you? Because judging by all of the handbooks Iâve read, the rules, the 12 step programs, people believe that mental illness care, mental health care ,and religion should go completely hand in hand. So what do you have to say to your fellow Christians?
Rachel: I think thatâs why you have to understand thereâs a big difference between just being sad, being upset over something, and a severe mental illness. You cannot pray away schizophrenia, bipolar. You have something that you need to go to the doctor. Similar to cancer. OK? Well, I remember actually being in church and this man getting up in front of, like, you know, a couple hundred people and saying he was gonna stop his cancer medication because he had the faith God would heal him. And I was in the church like, oh, no. Spoiler alert, what happened two years later? Anyway, itâs the same way. And unfortunately, so many people in the Christian community or even recovery community, drugs, alcohol, they feel that you are experiencing depression, you are experiencing alcoholism, whatever, because of a weakness, and you need God because you are weak. Thatâs one of the 12 steps. Admit you have no control over it and go to a higher power. That does not work for schizophrenia. That does not work for bipolar. You donât have bipolar because you are weak. You donât have schizophrenia because you are weak. You didnât do anything bad. OK. And I think thatâs where the big hole is, is that theyâre not considering severe mental illness as being real. Theyâre still saying it is like a weakness. Itâs not a real thing, itâs, you know.
Gabe: Itâs interesting what you said there, that the misunderstandings and the stigma and the discrimination towards severe and persistent mental illnesses is possibly not because theyâre overinflating the role of religion, but because theyâre underestimating the seriousness of severe and persistent mental illness. How do we educate religious leaders to get them to understand that? Look, community is important. And itâs very important. Without my family, I would be nowhere. And youâve spoken the same way. We need our support. You know, I am so thankful for all of you. Even the folks on this podcast right now, you have all supported me in my dark times. But some of that support has been, Gabe, go to a doctor. Gabe, make that therapy appointment. You know, Gabe, you need help right now. Because youâre all educated. In your opinion, again, as a Christian, Rachel, how do we help religious leaders see that this is beyond their scope? Because I donât see a lot of religious leaders trying to fill the role of an oncologist. But for some reason, you know, therapy, psychology, psychiatry, theyâre like, we got this. And I donât think theyâre trying to be mean. I really donât.
Rachel: This is going to sound like the complete makes no sense. And thatâs kind of like what this whole podcast has been. Religion in so many ways, it doesnât make sense. Because youâll see like, well, you have to believe in the unseen. You have to believe that Godâs there even though you canât see him. Iâm a huge Bible buff. I love old school translations, the lost books of the Bible. Thereâs so many loopholes. For every verse, thereâs another verse that completely goes against it. And thatâs one of my favorite things, is like getting to debate biblical people because you just canât. Itâs just ridiculous. You could go any direction with any argument. Incest? The Bible is for it. Letâs get this on. Lot and his daughters. Thereâs no, like, right or wrong that you can argue with these things. So, I mean, if you look at it, yeah. Your brain already needs to be scrambled to fully get and be able to understand. And I think to follow any religion, youâve got to be kind of scrambled. And yet when youâre dealing with mental illness, theyâre like, well, thatâs something you canât see. So itâs like they donât believe in it. Theyâre able to believe, like in a giant floating spaghetti monster. But theyâre not going to.
Lisa: All hail his noodly appendage.
Gabe: Yes, Iâm a Pastafarian.
Lisa: Ramen.
Rachel: Yes, but theyâre not willing to believe in mental illness. Theyâll be like, no, thatâs not a real thing, though, thatâs a weakness. Thatâs, you know, you got a really good imagination or oh, thatâs Satan then, itâs not you. Itâs something else. The idea that your brain can hallucinate. No, no, no, no. We all have these biases and blind spots in our lives. The thing I always find most surprising is Iâll talk to people and sometimes the ones who are the most atheists are also then the most weird about other things like superstitions and ghosts and aliens. And Iâll be like, what? You just made fun of me for saying a Bible verse, but youâre over here going on about like these magic crystals.
Lisa: Yeah.
Rachel: What is the difference? Iâm slightly offended.
Lisa: That is a thing that bothers me all the time.
Rachel: Yeah.
Lisa: Either youâre skeptical or youâre not.
Rachel: Right. So Iâm not being like, oh, itâs just Christianity, like itâs across everything almost with us. And Iâm sure each of us have our own, like, little weird things like that.
Gabe: Let let letâs explore that just a little further, because you are correct. You know, this episode is focusing on the role of religion and mental health care and where religion makes things worse and where religion can potentially make things better. But if we take out the word religion and replace it with CBD oil, essential oils, yoga, aromatherapy,Â
Lisa: Crystals.
Gabe: Could have the identical, yeah, crystals. We could literally have the identical conversation. Do you think that sometimes people believe that religion is a solution, again, because of a base misunderstanding about how serious mental illness is? And potentially, Iâm hoping thereâs some religious leaders out there that maybe think to themselves, well, I donât believe that CBD oil or aromatherapy or crystals can cure mental illness, but I sure can. And maybe if they apply it that way, they think to themselves, all right, this is medical in nature. I honestly donât know what point Iâm trying to make, which is a theme with this podcast. But as a Christian, it sounds like you have not used Christianity really to fight schizophrenia. A lot of people I know in recovery keep them separate. But I know a lot of people who are literally in harmâs way right now because, quote, their pastors got this, their faith communities got this. My faith will see me through. And in the meantime, thereâs not a doctor anywhere. And I worry about those people because you got an exorcism. But finally, made your way to a doctor. So many people get the exorcism and then move on to a second exorcism or then theyâre told that they didnât pray hard enough and therefore theyâve got to. These are the things that strike me. Rachael, push back hard against that.
Rachel: Look at our entire world. We have like thousands of years of this is such a big issue. And if itâs not the religions we currently have, thereâll be a new one out in 100 years. Thereâll be some new weird thing we believe in. Thatâs how humans are. Weâre always going to believe in weird crap. And there always are going to be fanatical people who push it to the next level. For my other Christians, my religious people, back to the cancer scenario. If you have cancer, thatâs great. You believe in God, thatâs great. You believe heâs gonna heal you? Spoiler alert. He might have made medicine as that resource of how to heal you. So you can believe and pray to God and still take your medication to get better. Same thing with schizophrenia. I can believe in God and still also believe, hey, I need to take my own anti-psychotics, because thatâs a whole nother level of God talking to me if I donât. That probably is something very physically wrong with me that has nothing to do with the spirit realms, the ghosts, the aliens.
Gabe: For me personally, I believe that religion is a very personal thing, and as long as you donât push your religion on me, I wonât push my lack of religion on you. And thatâs sort of how I live my life. Itâs easier said than done. Iâm not saying that Iâve never got into a Facebook fight because Iâm only human. And it sounds like thatâs where you are as well. And I think thatâs a very mature place to be. But I really, as a mental health advocate, I become terrified when people tell me that they are treating severe and persistent mental illness with religion or some variation thereof. Do you feel the same way? Is this like a part where we agree?
Rachel: I mean, yeah, youâre setting yourself up to fail. And I think now you can also use that with anything. If I decide to treat my very severe schizophrenia with just counseling, Iâm probably setting myself up to fail because this isnât just a hey, I need to go and talk about it. Iâm still going to become very, very, very sick if I just sit around talking about having schizophrenia. I have to be on medication. Iâm on four different antidepressants alone, and I still go to counseling and pray and all this stuff. Does that mean that I donât believe in God because I have to take four antidepressants? No, it just means that I have an illness that I need to, if Iâm going to keep living, I have to do this thing. I have to take this medication.
Gabe: Makes perfect sense to me.
Lisa: Rachel, thank you so much for being here. Do you have any last thoughts that youâd like to share with us?
Rachel: Just if youâre out there and youâre having a hard time and youâve went through things like exorcism and stuff like that, know that youâre not alone and get help. Because we all definitely need help to get through some of our past traumas. And check out Inside Schizophrenia if you want to hear more Gabe at least.
Gabe: Ah, itâs Gabe and Rachel and itâs a really, really cool podcast. Itâs actually hosted by Rachel, I am just the co-host and you can find Inside Schizophrenia on your favorite podcast player or by going to the website, which. Rachel, whatâs the Web site?
Rachel: PsychCentral.com/IS.
Gabe: Rachel, thank you so much. You are the bomb.
Lisa: Yeah. Thank you so much. You were great.
Rachel: Thank you, guys.
Lisa: All right, bye-bye.Â
Rachel: Bye.
Gabe: I thought it was great that Rachel stopped by and, Lisa, I get to work with her all the time, Na na na na naa naaa.
Lisa: Sheâs amazing.
Gabe: Lisa, what are your first impressions?
Lisa: I have trouble understanding how after going through something so horrible as the exorcism, she still finds a place for faith in her recovery. How about you, Gabe? What did you think about what Rachel had to say?
Gabe: One of the things that I think of is support is extraordinarily important in mental illness. Like my recovery is owed to my support system. And if your faith community is extraordinarily supportive and accepting, then, yeah, I love it. But thereâs this base assumption that every single faith community is accepting of people with mental illness, and thatâs not entirely the case. So thereâs a side that we never think about. And if you fall into that side, I want to be very clear that your faith community, your religion, can be a detriment. I suppose the easy answer is, if that is your faith community, you can switch. But we all know that not so easy.
Lisa: Well, and it doesnât have to just be that your faith community doesnât support your recovery in mental illness, it could be that they donât support you either. You know you hear all sorts of horror stories of people who are gay and theyâre rejected by their church. And that can cause a lot of damage.
Gabe: I can also see, and this is what I want to get out there, there are congregations and religions that just flat out donât believe in mental illness. So you and your family may well be willing to see a doctor. But, of course, youâre discouraged. I want to give a shout out to all of the faith leaders, all of the communities that notice something is wrong and support and encourage and help. And I know this from advocacy. Do you know how many churches are involved in advocacy? I visit churches on the regular to provide workshops, etc. So I do have this struggle. Iâm really very much in the middle because churches support their communities in great ways. But again, if they can support their communities in great ways, it does mean that they could be a hindrance. I just want to say to anybody that is a hindrance, please, please reconsider. Because with treatment, recovery is very, very likely.
Lisa: Thereâs just so many variables with the specific person, the specific religion, the community, the faith. So thereâs just no clear cut answer on whether or not religion is going to be helpful or harmful when it comes to your recovery.
Gabe: The reality is, is your mileage may vary. Not everything is inherently good. Not everything is inherently bad.Â
Lisa: Exactly, itâs all about the specifics of the situation. Thereâs not going to be one answer that works for everyone.
Gabe: One of the things that was curious to me is that she mentioned that when she made this video, she got all of these emails from people who were traumatized by it. And Iâm not surprised. I see a lot of abuses like this. And my e-mail is filled with people who are using religion and faith to meet recovery all the time. Now with negative consequences.Â
Lisa: Right.
Gabe: I should be clear like that. Maybe thatâs the thing. Maybe the people who are having good experiences using religion to manage the symptoms of mental illness just arenât e-mailing me. I do want to be open to that possibility. But the people who are hurt, theyâre just so hurt. And whenever I try to get religion to move forward, like, listen, all youâve got to do is stay out of it. Like, they stay out of cancer treatment. Just stay out of it. Whenever anybody hears a story of somebody saying, Iâm quitting my chemotherapy. Iâm not going to an oncologist. Iâm just praying over cancer. Generally speaking, people are like, thatâs not a good idea. But whenever people hear, I am no longer taking the medication, going to therapy, or getting help for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, psychosis, Iâm just going to pray and fall on my church community. People are like, yeah, yeah. I donât have anything against religion. I just want them to move over to the same model as cancer. Is that wrong?
Lisa: This is just another outcome or another symptom of the way that people donât perceive mental illness as being an actual medical problem. Itâs a behavior problem. Itâs a spiritual problem. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. So when someone says, thatâs exactly what Iâm gonna do, Iâm gonna go use religion to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Weâre like, oh, yes, that makes sense. But most people donât think you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps to get rid of cancer. So if you said to them, Iâm going to go use religion to do this, well, that doesnât make sense. You need medicine. So this is just another example of how people do not see mental illness as an actual illness.
Gabe: I think itâs really interesting that when people donât see mental illnesses as serious or something that needs medical intervention or you can do that, you know, pull yourself up by your bootstraps thing, and then it mixes with a controversial topic like religion or medication or other beliefs. That, it becomes this quagmire of weâre no longer discussing the best way to treat people with mental illness, but weâre bringing in our dislike of discussing emotions or dislike of taking medications or just the way society feels about having a mental illness. And all of a sudden youâre not really discussing the best way to get care anymore are you? Youâre now fighting against the thing that you already either liked or disliked when you walked in the door. Do you think religion just falls into that trap? That weâre not actually discussing mental health, weâre just discussing our personal beliefs on religion and weâre just having the wrong discussion entirely?
Lisa: Not necessarily, you always say that the reason people arenât seeking out medical care for mental illness is because they donât see it as being serious. And Iâm sure thatâs part of it, but I donât think thatâs all of it. Itâs not so much that they see it as being trivial or not being serious itâs that they donât understand the base premise of this is a biologically based problem. So itâs not that they think, oh, this is a small thing. No big deal. No. You could easily think that this is a horrible, terrible thing that needs lots and lots of care and lots and lots of resources devoted to it and still not think that it needs these specific type of resources. You could think that, oh, no, the resources it needs are behavioral based or spiritual.
Gabe: So youâre doing everything you can, but because of your base misunderstanding of whatâs wrong.
Lisa: Your base understanding of whatâs causing the problem in the first place. So you can put tons of energy and resources into solving the problem, but if you donât understand what caused it to start with, it doesnât matter how many resources you throw at it because youâre not doing the right things that will work to solve it.
Gabe: This is a grease fire. I really think thatâs a great analogy.
Lisa: Yes.
Gabe: This is a grease fire. You believe that the fire is real. Thereâs no debate at the seriousness of the fire thatâs in your kitchen.
Lisa: You understand the danger.
Gabe: If you have an understanding of grease fires, you smother, you grab the lid, you put it on the pot, you grab towels, you deprive it of oxygen, it goes out and itâs fine. If you donât understand it, even though youâre thinking that itâs very serious, you spray it with water. And then, of course, that blows the grease everywhere. The fire gets worse and itâs horrible. Nobody is saying that water is bad. Nobody is saying that the fire isnât serious. I think thatâs the perfect analogy.
Lisa: That is a perfect analogy because itâs not that people donât think fire is dangerous or that they donât want it out, itâs just that they donât understand what it takes to put it out quickly and safely.
Gabe: I sincerely hope that all the people listening to this, no matter what side of the discussion, the debate that youâre on, or most likely somewhere in the middle. And I hope that youâve listened to the very, very end. I am very flattered with all of our listeners who take the time to write me to tell me that they disagreed with us. But I can tell based on their letters and their e-mails and their comments that they listened all the way to the end. So even though they completely disagreed with us, they still listened and considered our viewpoints. They ultimately considered that we were wrong. I like that. And I want you to know that we have been reading your e-mails. Because our minds have been altered, our minds have been altered during the research of some of these shows. And I think that that is really, really cool. So keep them coming over to, Lisa, whatâs our e-mail address?
Lisa: [email protected]. Again, thatâs [email protected].
Gabe: All right, everybody, I hope you had fun this week. Listen up, hereâs what I need you to do. If you like the podcast, wherever you downloaded it, please subscribe. Use your words and rate us. Share us on social media, email us to your friends. Tell your mom about us. We do crazy well in the mom demographic. And did you know that after the credits there is always an outtake? Basically where Gabe and Lisa either made a mistake, said something funny, or the whole thing just devolved into a giant fight. We hope that you will check it out.
Lisa: And weâll see you next Tuesday.
Announcer: Youâve been listening to the Not Crazy Podcast from Psych Central. For free mental health resources and online support groups, visit PsychCentral.com. Not Crazyâs official website is PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. To work with Gabe, go to gabehoward.com. Want to see Gabe and me in person? Not Crazy travels well. Have us record an episode live at your next event. E-mail [email protected] for details.Â
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Podcast: Religionâs Role in Mental Illness Treatment
Does religion help or harm people with severe mental illness? In todayâs Not Crazy podcast, Gabe and Lisa welcome Rachel Star Wither, host of the Inside Schizophrenia podcast, to discuss religionâs role (or lack thereof) in treating those struggling with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Rachel relates her personal experiences of mixing religion with her illness and shares how she currently manages to believe in God while keeping her faith âseparateâ from her symptoms.
Tune in for a deep discussion on religion and severe mental illness, including Rachelâs 3-day exorcism experience at age 17.
(Transcript Available Below)
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 Guest Information for âRachel Star Wither- Religion Mental Illnessâ Podcast Episode
Rachel Star Withers is the host of the Inside Schizophrenia podcast, and a mental health advocate who lives with schizophrenia. She creates comedic and mental health videos and has appeared in numerous TV shows.
    About The Not Crazy Podcast Hosts
Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from Gabe Howard. To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.
    Lisa is the producer of the Psych Central podcast, Not Crazy. She is the recipient of The National Alliance on Mental Illnessâs âAbove and Beyondâ award, has worked extensively with the Ohio Peer Supporter Certification program, and is a workplace suicide prevention trainer. Lisa has battled depression her entire life and has worked alongside Gabe in mental health advocacy for over a decade. She lives in Columbus, Ohio, with her husband; enjoys international travel; and orders 12 pairs of shoes online, picks the best one, and sends the other 11 back.
  Computer Generated Transcript for âRachel Star Wither- Religion Mental Illnessâ Episode
Editorâs Note:Â Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.
Lisa: Youâre listening to Not Crazy, a psych central podcast hosted by my ex-husband, who has bipolar disorder. Together, we created the mental health podcast for people who hate mental health podcasts.
Gabe: Hello, everyone, and welcome to this episode of the Not Crazy podcast. My name is Gabe Howard and I am here with my co-host, Lisa. Lisa, welcome to the show.
Lisa: Thanks, Gabe. So todayâs quote is a delusion held by one person is a mental illness, held by a few is a cult, and held by many is a religion. And that is actually a super common saying. So weâre not going to really have an attribution.
Gabe: Do you mean there isnât one or you just donât want to give the personâs name?
Lisa: I could not find where it comes from originally. Comedians have said this, posters say this. It doesnât seem to be something I can pinpoint down to one specific person.
Gabe: Well, we are very thorough in our research department, which consists of only Lisa.
Lisa: And Google, Lisa and Google.
Gabe: Itâs Lisa using Google, so you still get all the credit. So weâre going to be discussing religion in this episode and no doubt alienate 90% of our audience. This is a great choice for a new podcast. Like remember all of those records that we hit last week? Well, those are gone now.
Lisa: Well, but you never know. The 10% that we keep, those are going to be the best ones. So those of you who are not already alienated, youâre my favorite.
Gabe: There are some people who just they donât want to hear the topic of religion. You either agree with them and youâre good, because if you disagree with them, youâre bad. Now, our show is designed to bring in all sorts of points of views, all sorts of topics. So weâre not trying to alienate or offend anybody. So so please put on your big boy pants and take a listen. I promise it will be worth the journey. Now, Lisa and I, we are not very religious people, which is why we have a guest coming up in a few minutes who defines as a person who is religious. And because we did want to be fair. We didnât want an hour of Gabe and Lisa talking about how religion wasnât important to us. But everywhere we go, spirituality, religion, it comes up as one of the pillars of recovery. And this strikes people like Gabe and Lisa as odd. But it comes up so often it must not be.
Lisa: Well, it shouldnât strike us as odd, though, because religion is quite common in our society. It permeates almost everything around us. So itâs really not surprising that itâs in the recovery community, that is involved in mental illness and mental health. It comes up for everything.
Gabe: The concept of a higher power is probably the most well-known place where religion is in like addiction recovery.
Lisa: Twelve steps.
Gabe: Right. Thatâs the 12 step group, AA is the most popular. But thereâs also like Emotions Anonymous and then thereâs support groups, classes. So this higher power is everywhere. And Iâm surprised I personally have never in my entire life attended or led a support group that in one of the rules or in one of the pillars or in one of the agreements or in one of the steps did not involve religion. So clearly it is on everybodyâs minds. And I want to talk about what to do, of course, if you donât identify that way. If itâs one of the twelve steps, does this mean that you canât make it to the end? It does kind of get messy. Because now letâs say that you do acknowledge a higher power. Iâve heard many a story of people arguing over what that higher power looks like. Well, we both believe in a higher power, but your higher power is wrong.
Lisa: Well, especially in the U.S., the 12 step model really dominates all things mental health, mental illness, recovery, addiction. Iâve even been to groups or to therapy programs that are not about addiction. I personally never struggled with addiction. And they still say we use a 12 step model. That was designed for addiction recovery, so how is that going to help me with my depression?
Gabe: All right, Lisa, I think that weâve established that religion in America is prominent. Before we get to our very cool guest, a little background from us. I graduated from a Catholic high school. I was raised Catholic. My father is Protestant. Iâve read the Bible cover to cover. And while I donât consider myself to be a religious person, my entire family is and works on me weekly to find the church again. So I really feel like I have a good understanding of religion in America. Lisa, I know youâre also non-religious, but what is your background? Do you have any?
Lisa: I was raised with religion. My family went to church every Sunday. I stopped attending when I was in college, but I have read the Bible and taken a lot of theology classes. And I donât consider myself to be a Christian, but I do have a lot of background and knowledge about the religion.
Gabe: Now, Rachel Star Withers is the host of the podcast Inside Schizophrenia. Sheâs a person living with schizophrenia. Rachel is a religious person, so weâre probably going to disagree. Rachel, are you cool with that?
Rachel: I absolutely am.
Gabe: I love it when I invite people on the show and in the little email, Iâm like, look, weâve selected you because we donât agree with much of what youâve done or said. And thatâs why we want to make sure that your viewpoint is acknowledged. A lot of people think itâs a trap. Do you think itâs a trap, Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah, I assumed thatâs why I was on the show.
Lisa: That is not boding well for your relationship with Rachel, Gabe.
Gabe: Do you think that we are part of the gotcha podcast media?
Lisa: Is that a thing?
Gabe: No,
Lisa: I do. If that is a thing, I want to be part of that. Make that a thing.
Gabe: Rachel, we have established that Gabe and Lisa are not so religious. Can you talk about your religious background and your general feelings and just your personal belief system?
Rachel: Well, I grew up in the south, in the Bible Belt, so thatâs like a church on every corner. Very, very conservative type Christianity. And if youâre not even, like, familiar with the South and everything, you have different denominations and some denominations are looked down upon. A lot of the people around here wouldnât even consider Catholicism Christianity. They wouldnât consider Pentecostal Christianity. It is like, no, your either like Baptist, Southern Baptist. I mean, you can get a little crazy and be nondenominational, but that just means Baptist. Like legit, thatâs what that means.
Gabe: Are you a Christian? Are you Baptist? What is Rachel Star Withersâ religious affiliation?
Rachel: I pretty much always say that Iâm Christian and that I believe what Jesus said were the two main commandments. And in the Bible, one of the disciples comes up to Jesus and was like, Yo, Jesus. Of the ten. What are the main two? You know, like, if I just gotta stick to two of them, what are the main two of these ten? If weâre going to really simplify this, Jesus. And Jesus said love God, love people. That it all could be summed up. And I believe that is the overall message is love something or care about something bigger than yourself and then care about people. Another great way of saying this is donât be a dick.
Lisa: I am not familiar with the Bible verse where Jesus said, well, the most important thing is to not be a dick.
Rachel: Yes, itâs in there.
Lisa: I will Google that and find the verse.
Rachel: Itâs reworded.
Lisa: Youâre paraphrasing?
Rachel: I like to use King James, old school. So itâs like thou shalt not be a dick-eth.
Gabe: Rachel, one of the things that is kind of striking me is on one hand, youâre being very cavalier, you know, but on the other hand, I know that you are very religious and you are also a solid studier of theology. One of the reasons that we picked you is because we feel that youâre very reasonable. Youâre not too far one way or the other. We also picked you because youâre cool as hell. But
Rachel: Right.
Lisa: And available.
Gabe: And available
Rachel: Right. Yeah, I mean.
Gabe: Thatâs very helpful.Â
Lisa: You currently define as Christian, but youâre not picking a specific denomination. Are you currently a churchgoer?
Rachel: Growing up, my family actually started the church we went to and it was like my great grandmother started the church.
Lisa: Oh, wow.
Rachel: Yeah. And which is a big deal, like my grandmother, she taught in the church. Very, very religious background. And it was Southern Baptist, which is pretty much known to be like the strictest. I was on the puppet team and like we had to be careful with the puppets, that they didnât move too much because that would look like they were dancing, and dancing was forbidden. Even puppet dancing.
Lisa: Whoa!
Rachel: Like literally, we couldnât have the puppets sway too much because dancing is not allowed.
Gabe: Rachel, I donât mean to try to nail you down, but just in the interest of the conversation, in the debate and to know where everybody stands, if you were pressed to check a box, to define yourself as required by the Not Crazy Podcast debating rules.
Lisa: Or the U.S. Census.
Gabe: What would you pick?
Rachel: Christianity, Christian.
Gabe: And do you go to church on Sundays?
Rachel: I do not.
Gabe: Can you still be very religious and not go to church on Sunday? In your opinion?
Rachel: Absolutely. I am in South Carolina. A lot of the churches around here, especially in the current political environment, have become incredibly political. Which I do not agree with. So I donât currently go to any church. I study a lot. I still read my Bible very regularly. I actually take a lot of online biblical classes because I love the history and all that kind of stuff.
Gabe: I think itâs interesting that you brought up that church is playing a role where you donât feel that they belong, and the example that you used was politics. Segue over to mental illness, do you feel that religion has a role in recovery from mental illness? And if so, what is it?
Rachel: I do think it plays a role. I donât think that it should play a role in the beginning, and I donât think it should play a large overall role.
Gabe: Now, explain what you mean, âin the beginning.â Like, should religion diagnose you?
Rachel: What I always tell people is thatâs great that you believe in whatever religion, pick one, I donât care. But if someone is having psychosis, you donât need to be taking them to church every week. Because itâs just going to fuel that psychotic-ness of not understanding reality, versus fantasy. And that was a lot of the problems what happened with me, I was starting to have schizophrenia, and instead of getting real help, I had a lot of church people being like, well, no, thatâs Satan. Well, no, oh, that hallucination thatâs Satan manifesting. And so they werenât helping me at all. They were telling me, donât get medication and letâs pray over it. And everything youâre seeing is real. And so I was very untreated for many years because, yeah, they made life much more harder for me to get real help.
Lisa: What age were you when this was going on?
Rachel: My late teens, early 20s, was when things really got bad. But I grew up and when I was little, I was told the same thing. It just, I kind of thought everyone had demons and stuff. If you go to church every Sunday. Well, if you go to church three times a week, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and all you hear about is angels and demons. And then if youâre hallucinating like me, thatâs like, well, yeah, obviously Iâm seeing the angels and demons we all keep talking about.
Gabe: See, now for my money, that is why I believe that religion can be extraordinarily dangerous, because, after all, youâre right that thereâs a lot of imagery of Satan doing things. And Iâve talked to many, many people that say that they did not go to a doctor and they did not get help because they thought that they were just being punished for their sins, that this was Satanâs involvement and what they needed was more church. This is why I think that religion and spirituality should have zero part in recovery from mental illness. And I want to be clear here. Iâm talking about severe and persistent mental illness. I understand that the role of spirituality in mental health issues, you know, anxiety and the grief process, etc. Iâm talking bipolar disorder, major depression, hearing things in your head. What do you say about that?
Rachel: And I agree with what youâre saying. The other side of that coin, which I think is far more dangerous, isnât so much that youâre being punished by Satan, itâs that youâre being called on by God. People who are being punished, I feel bad. Iâm not going to lash out. And we have so many issues, and if you look around our current political climate and things, itâs more so the thought of, oh, weâre chosen. I have to do this. And thatâs where it gets dangerous. And thatâs kind of like what was happening with me, was it was more so like, OK, Godâs choosing you to see a realm that you shouldnât see. Youâve been given special powers and you have now a requirement. Itâs not so much I feel bad. Itâs Iâm supposed to go and do this thing. And thatâs where I think the dangerous part is, especially when weâre talking about like schizophrenia.
Lisa: You were expressing to people around you, Iâm seeing these things, Iâm having these visions, Iâm hearing these voices. And theyâre responding to you, Oh, well, thatâs God or thatâs a demon talking to you. Either way. And that made sense to you, because after all, youâve grown up with hearing about this all the time, every week. Why wouldnât you believe that was sensible and normal? At what point did you start to think, huh? I donât know, thereâs something off about this? Or did you ever?
Rachel: Iâm going to say I donât really think I ever, I never 100% believed, like other people telling me that God was constantly trying to test me. Thatâs just a lot of testing. I hallucinate like 90% of the time. Itâs like weâve got, you know, Jesus, chill, man. So I feel that goes to where some religious people, if you donât understand mental health, and you have someone with a very severe mental health problem coming to you and youâre a counselor, youâre a leader or whatever. It gets really dangerous because you canât give good advice. Youâre giving very dangerous advice. And I was 17 at the time and I got a lot of very dangerous advice. Like, Yeah. Oh, well, thatâs Satan. Youâre full of Satan. You have to like now not eat for the next week because you have to get the Satan out of you. And apparently Satan loves food. Heâs a fatty. So that, thatâll work.
Lisa: Wow, that is so horrifying.
Gabe: And you followed this advice, and if I understand correctly, you followed this advice straight to an exorcist.
Rachel: They told me I had demons in me. And they said, weâre going to do an exorcism. Well, I didnât seek it out. I was at a Christian school at the time, a college. So I was living there. And, yeah, they were like, no, no, we got this.
Lisa: And how did your family respond to that?
Rachel: They, I donât think they knew anything about it. Or if they did it, they didnât realize what level we were at.
Gabe: Youâre kind of burying the lead here, you went through an exorcism.
Rachel: Yes, I did. I did.
Gabe: Just. Youâre just talking about it like I went through an exorcism,
Rachel: I did. Yeah.
Gabe: Like it was just like, you know, I tried that new restaurant and I didnât like it, so I moved on. No, thereâs a lot of trauma thatâs involved in all of this. What was that like? Because you believed that, you have to believe in order to go through an exorcism. Just to be clear, you now have to believe that you are possessed by Satan and thatâs why you need this. What was this like both as a human and of course, how did it impact your symptoms of schizophrenia? Because you believe this?
Rachel: Unfortunately, it was not like the movies. My head didnât spin around, I didnât like spew out a black blood or anything, so it would not make a very good movie, is what I have to say. It lasted three days with three different women.
Lisa: Wow.
Rachel: One of which was like nine months pregnant at the time. So when I look back, thatâs my thing. Itâs like I didnât pay for this. They volunteered. It was like, what are you getting out of this? Youâre very pregnant, lady. But she led it. And it was three days of no eating, no drinking, them laying hands and praying. And me at age 17, having to confess every sin. I was like the best little Christian girl in the world. So it isnât like I had all this wonderful sex parties and orgies to talk about. It was like I had to confess that I watched the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer once. Thatâs the intensity of the sins Iâm having to confess for three days.
Lisa: So your level sin with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer was so great that it made sense to the people around you. Demons are obviously possessing this girl because clearly thatâs so much sin. So?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Like, what the hell?
Lisa: It doesnât sound like something thatâs real, right?Â
Rachel: It doesnât.
Lisa: That people in modern society would actually consider this a reasonable idea, a reasonable thing to do, especially for a child.
Rachel: And something you have to understand, it wasnât even a commonplace thing. To be in like a normal church and them say, whoa, you need an exorcism. It would be pretty bad. That means youâve already failed because you let Satan in. The fact that Satan was able to even do that. So the whole thing was very shameful. Everybody freaking knew, because they freaking told every freaking body because youâve got to watch out for the demon possessed one.
Lisa: Wow. Whoa.
Rachel: I know. And then just real life I never wanted to talk about. I was so embarrassed. I didnât want my family to know. I didnât want any friends to know what had happened. I didnât talk about it for about 10 years. And ironically, I then make this video about it, you know, thinking no one has ever been through what I went through. This is so ridiculous. But, you know, Iâm gonna make a video because it is a weird thing. And so many people have reached out to me whoâve went through the exact same thing. The youngest being four years old.
Lisa: Wow
Rachel: The person saying that theyâd had them since they were age four.
Lisa: I feel sick.
Gabe: Was this the first treatment that you ever received for schizophrenia?
Rachel: So at the school, apparently, the guy I was seeing was a real doctor because he subscribed in an anti-depressant and I was on it for like a few months and it didnât work.Â
Gabe: So you did see a doctor.
Rachel: On campus, the campus doctor, yes.
Gabe: Right. You were prescribed something that didnât work. And so this was the second treatment for schizophrenia that you received. You are a religious person and now youâre getting all of these e-mails for people that are describing that theyâre getting exorcisms and other religious ceremonies as treatment. How did that make you feel? Because for me, just to be blunt, it makes me angry at religion. This is why I do not participate. But you very much still love religion, even though, frankly, what youâre describing is horrendous.
Rachel: Yes. You have to understand, if you are religious or you have that kind of background, the very first person youâre going to go to for help is a religious leader. Whether youâre talking about your Sunday school teacher to a bigger churches actually have counseling centers. They have counselors that are part of your church. It was pretty normal growing up that we would, you know, schedule a meeting with the youth pastor or the assistant pastor of the church if you were having like a problem in your marriage, with your kids, at school. So, like, thatâs who you would go to. And thatâs why this, you know, unfortunately, is a more common than not thing where theyâll bring up, OK, well, letâs pray over you. Letâs have you do this kind of religious thing and you donât go see, like, a real doctor or, I donât say a real counselor because, yes, you can be whatever. But you get the idea. Youâre more likely to have religious help than a normal doctor or psychiatristâs help first.
Gabe: We all seem to agree, from all our different walks of life and belief systems, that this is not the role of religion in recovery and that religion should not be doing this as this is bad. That the whole Christian counselor thing, etc. Theyâre not trained. They should refer you to real doctors. At this point, thereâs just no conflict. We all agree. We all should hug. But we completely disagree. I know that we do. Where do you think the role of religion belongs? Again, Lisa and I have established in the beginning, we think it belongs nowhere. Where does Rachel Star Withers believe that religion is helpful in recovery?
Rachel: I feel that once youâre on that road, when you have a solid grasp of whatâs real, whatâs not, for me itâs very helpful. I pray every night. I pray multiple times a day. Itâs not always nice prayers. Gabe likes to joke that I donât curse. I curse a lot in my head and a lot of the time I am talking to my concept of God. For me, it helps to kind of be like, okay, whatâs happening to me? Why is this happening? And being able to talk to someone who knows where the worldâs going, kind of helps me deal with where Iâm at right now. I donât feel like Iâm talking to myself. I feel like I am talking to God or cursing at God, trying to understand whatâs happening to me.
Gabe: So you feel that that prayer is acceptable as long as youâre still seeking medical treatment?
Rachel: Yes. At what point God starts talking back in a booming voice? Might be a red flag.
Lisa: But how do you possibly differentiate that? Because if you believe that God is listening, why is it so unreasonable to think that heâs talking back?
Rachel: Thatâs where it gets a little blurry, and thatâs why you have to kind of keep religion separated in the very beginning where you donât know whatâs real and whatâs not. Iâve had the opposite problem where I feel that God doesnât talk to me and it feels like heâs like talking to everyone else. When I was growing up and still, people always talk about like feeling God and stuff and Iâm like, Iâve never felt that. So I always felt like there was something wrong with me. And I honestly believe 100% that it is my schizophrenia. I donât really feel happiness. Just Iâm never happy. And I think because itâs like chemical things in your brain. And I do think thereâs like a chemical thing that some people, when they worship God or whatever, theyâll be like, I can feel God, I feel close to him. And I think itâs a chemical correct balance. So I have the wrong balance. So thatâs why Iâm not able to experience it.
Lisa: Really?
Rachel: I yeah. I mean, I do believe people feel God and things like that. And I believe I do hear things that sometimes Iâm not 100% sure if thatâs my hallucinations or not. And Iâve just learned not to react either way.
Lisa: So you feel that you are lacking this feeling of God that other people have because your schizophrenia doesnât allow you to have it?
Rachel: Correct.
Lisa: Why couldnât it be the other direction? That you donât have this because itâs not there?
Rachel: I know from like other people in my life, over and over, theyâll be like, wow, I just feel so close to God. I just feel this emotional warmth. And the way they describe it to me is what I think of like happiness and things that I also I donât experience. So thatâs one thing is I think there are ways to connect. You know, your body reacts to different things. And I do think people, theyâre reacting to something. But I think that people with depression, with schizophrenia, with bipolar, who donât experience the world like normal people. I think that for you to have faith, itâs a lot more intense because you donât get the happy feelings. You donât get like the warm fuzzies, but youâre still looking for guidance and hope and you still need to kind of try and figure out the world.
Lisa: This experience that you had when you were 17 is such a betrayal and itâs so awful. You continue to identify as a believer. But how are you able to not just feel so betrayed that you would be done with this?
Rachel: Well, I donât believe in the people. I donât believe in the people. I donât believe in what they did. Itâs like thatâs a complete disconnect from what I think God is. What they did was not religion. They shouldnât have done that.Â
Lisa: Well, but obviously anyone could say that, right?
Rachel: Correct. Yeah.
Lisa: They could say the reverse about you. Theyâre the real religion. Theyâre the true Christians, not you. If the same logic can justify both people having completely opposite beliefs, how are you able to maintain faith in that logic?
Rachel: I feel that thereâs so much stuff thatâs happened in my own life. It just doesnât seem random. And if you know a lot about me, you know, OK. Rachel has schizophrenia. She got a flesh eating bacteria. Like, thereâs so many ridiculously over-the-top things in my life that I really feel, Iâm like, f-you God. Like, what the hell? Iâm like, I was out helping people and I got a flesh eating bacteria. Itâs not like I was drinking and going wild with my sex parties. And youâre gonna get a flesh eating bacteria in your face. So and itâs like I go through things that Iâm like I just feel that thatâs totally God. So, religion is not like a warm, fuzzy thing for me. Trying to understand, my hallucinations have never been nice. Theyâve always been very disturbing. I donât want that to be random. I like at least being able to talk and be like, God, I canât take this tonight. Like, Iâve had nights where I just like I feel like I prayed myself to sleep crying because I couldnât make the horrible things go away. It helps me to believe that there is something there. That the world isnât all darkness.
Lisa: That is a common atheist argument. That this is the proof that God doesnât exist because all this bad stuff happens. But youâre seeing it as itâs actually almost a proof that he does exist. Because?
Rachel: Because then itâs all darkness. Thatâs the most depressing thing in the world to me, is that itâs just darkness then. I donât want to live in a world where itâs just horribleness. I have to believe that there is good and people can choose to be good. And there is like something that wants us to be good and be happy and pushing us towards being good. And thatâs how for me, I know when religion is good or bad is when people do bad things. When you are hurting others, I donât care what your religious book says. No, no. Then you are like everything else. You are adding to the darkness. And I donât, I canât live in a world with the thought of everything is just bad or has the potential to be bad. There is nothing pushing towards good.
Gabe: So itâs interesting that you see religion as pushing toward good. And the reason that I bring that up is because mental illness pushes toward the negative. Is it possible that all of this is just this nebulous concept? Itâs all very random and thereâs nothing pushing towards good. Thereâs nothing pushing toward bad. And everything just sort of happens. It just happens. And thereâs nothing. It sounds like youâre saying that you have this desire for there to be order. And some people would argue that this desire to have things be planned and ordered and un-random is a symptom of schizophrenia because schizophrenia and mental illness and psychosis is just so incredibly random. What do you have to say to that? Because it almost sounds like youâre saying no, no, no, no, no. There is a plan for me that includes schizophrenia, but not everybody believes that. Including the way that we treat schizophrenia. Itâs kind of a mess, right?
Rachel: And that goes back to kind of what causes mental illnesses and stuff. Iâm of belief, because I had it since I was a little kid, that I was born with it. My parents didnât do anything. My mom wasnât like drinking when I was a baby, you know. Thereâs no reason for me to have schizophrenia except that I just do. And I donât think itâs a bad thing. I think itâs just like, I donât know, like asthma. Itâs not like youâre bad because you have asthma. But I do think it was something I was born with. And while I donât, wouldnât say that itâs oh, because I have this God made like a special plan for my life to go and save the exorcists or whatever. So it helps me, though, to, like, feel that, yeah, not everything is bad. That schizophrenia isnât bad. That just all this bad stuff is going to happen to me and hurt and pain. That there is something else out there that I can push towards.
Gabe: Itâs interesting to me because we both have a severe and persistent mental illness. Weâve both had psychosis. And as you know, mental illnesses has caused me great pain and suffering, just like you. And I, Iâm not playing the suffering Olympics. Iâm just pointing that out because we both went through very similar experiences. And what I came through the other side is this has to be random and there canât be somebody that could have saved me and chose not to because thatâs just too much to bear. So therefore, itâs just random and bad luck. And you came through it on the other side that said, well, I canât just have this be random and bad luck because thatâs too much to bear. There must be somebody up there deciding it. And for a lot of people watching us are just like, you know, these are a couple of mentally ill people that their brains donât work right. I mean, frankly, they donât work right. Thatâs why weâre seeking medical treatment. Are we qualified to really discuss this at all? Because after all, we started this show by saying, hey, our brains are broken. And I donât know that weâre ever going to get to a clear answer because after all, thereâs demons under my bed and thereâs colors following you around. What do we do with all of that? Because if we didnât have mental illness, this debate would sound very similar, just with different examples.
Rachel: Right now, weâre probably the most legitimate people to talk about religion is because we start with, hey, our brains are broken.Â
Gabe: Okay.
Rachel: I feel like weâre like more legit because we have that. We can be like, look, we might not be interpreting everything correctly, but this is what I think.
Gabe: You feel that being open to the idea that youâre wrong is a very powerful thing and we seem to strangely agree on this, which is weird because I donât think that we interpret the world the same at all. But you seem to be open to the idea that you could be wrong. Thatâs very unusual in religious circles.
Rachel: Probably, yes.Â
Gabe: Weâll be right back after these messages.
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Gabe: Weâre back discussing the role of religion in mental illness recovery with Inside Schizophrenia Podcast host Rachel Star Withers.
Lisa: So at this point, you feel that your faith has been a help to you in recovery and maintaining your life with mental illness, you know, living well. But I would say that for many people, itâs not a help. Itâs a huge detriment. And that would be the reason why I would get rid of it completely. But you think itâs worth it? You think the potential downsides are worth the upsides that you have received.
Rachel: For me, absolutely. Itâs one of the only reasons Iâm still here. Every night, Iâm cursing towards God sometimes because Iâm wanting to kill myself and me cursing towards him throughout the entire night is the only way I made it to the morning. And that at least that anger, of that spite sometimes will be what kept me going was that no, Iâm not just gonna give up. No. Itâs helped me that, like, feel there is something there, even if Iâm very angry and saying f-you, Iâm going to do this anyway.
Lisa: Again, you see and hear things that are not real. So you donât have any justification for this other stuff, but weâre good on this one. So how have you been able to balance that? And how have your treatment providers been able to work that in?
Rachel: For me, itâs two completely different things. If I were to start thinking God was talking to me, my knee jerk reaction is no, Rachel, that is absolutely a hallucination. And if I get obsessed with something, thatâs when I bring it into, like my counseling. For the most part, and Iâm not saying this is the correct or incorrect thing to do, I think, I donât bring it anything up with religion when it comes to me going to the psychiatrist and talking about medication. I donât say, well, I donât need more medication because me and God had this amazing time at the park yesterday.
Lisa: How would you like to see mental illness treatment and religion separated? Or do you think there is a way that they could be combined?
Rachel: I donât think they should be combined. And Iâm not referring to depression because I know obviously thereâs going to be people listening to the podcasts like, no, you donât understand depression. You just even mentioned a little bit ago about being suicidal. For me, those are such small parts of my mental illness. The schizophrenia, the being confused all the time, the hallucinations, thatâs what Iâm referring to. That I donât feel like can be treated in a religious way. I donât feel like I need to go to a church counselor to talk about trying to understand whatâs real and whatâs not. Because at the end of the day, or at the end of the session, itâs going to be, well, letâs pray before you go. And now youâve left that door open for me to get confused again. And itâs so hard for me to know whatâs real and fake, I donât want, I donât know, any more confusion. So I rather yeah. If Iâm dealing with becoming manic, if Iâm dealing with hallucinations, with reality confusion, that needs to be one hundred percent separate from normal mental health help.
Gabe: Rachel, I too believe that mental health care, mental illness care, and religion need to be separated. But my reason is obviously different from yours. As a religious person, what would you say to your fellow Christians that are going to disagree with you? Because judging by all of the handbooks Iâve read, the rules, the 12 step programs, people believe that mental illness care, mental health care ,and religion should go completely hand in hand. So what do you have to say to your fellow Christians?
Rachel: I think thatâs why you have to understand thereâs a big difference between just being sad, being upset over something, and a severe mental illness. You cannot pray away schizophrenia, bipolar. You have something that you need to go to the doctor. Similar to cancer. OK? Well, I remember actually being in church and this man getting up in front of, like, you know, a couple hundred people and saying he was gonna stop his cancer medication because he had the faith God would heal him. And I was in the church like, oh, no. Spoiler alert, what happened two years later? Anyway, itâs the same way. And unfortunately, so many people in the Christian community or even recovery community, drugs, alcohol, they feel that you are experiencing depression, you are experiencing alcoholism, whatever, because of a weakness, and you need God because you are weak. Thatâs one of the 12 steps. Admit you have no control over it and go to a higher power. That does not work for schizophrenia. That does not work for bipolar. You donât have bipolar because you are weak. You donât have schizophrenia because you are weak. You didnât do anything bad. OK. And I think thatâs where the big hole is, is that theyâre not considering severe mental illness as being real. Theyâre still saying it is like a weakness. Itâs not a real thing, itâs, you know.
Gabe: Itâs interesting what you said there, that the misunderstandings and the stigma and the discrimination towards severe and persistent mental illnesses is possibly not because theyâre overinflating the role of religion, but because theyâre underestimating the seriousness of severe and persistent mental illness. How do we educate religious leaders to get them to understand that? Look, community is important. And itâs very important. Without my family, I would be nowhere. And youâve spoken the same way. We need our support. You know, I am so thankful for all of you. Even the folks on this podcast right now, you have all supported me in my dark times. But some of that support has been, Gabe, go to a doctor. Gabe, make that therapy appointment. You know, Gabe, you need help right now. Because youâre all educated. In your opinion, again, as a Christian, Rachel, how do we help religious leaders see that this is beyond their scope? Because I donât see a lot of religious leaders trying to fill the role of an oncologist. But for some reason, you know, therapy, psychology, psychiatry, theyâre like, we got this. And I donât think theyâre trying to be mean. I really donât.
Rachel: This is going to sound like the complete makes no sense. And thatâs kind of like what this whole podcast has been. Religion in so many ways, it doesnât make sense. Because youâll see like, well, you have to believe in the unseen. You have to believe that Godâs there even though you canât see him. Iâm a huge Bible buff. I love old school translations, the lost books of the Bible. Thereâs so many loopholes. For every verse, thereâs another verse that completely goes against it. And thatâs one of my favorite things, is like getting to debate biblical people because you just canât. Itâs just ridiculous. You could go any direction with any argument. Incest? The Bible is for it. Letâs get this on. Lot and his daughters. Thereâs no, like, right or wrong that you can argue with these things. So, I mean, if you look at it, yeah. Your brain already needs to be scrambled to fully get and be able to understand. And I think to follow any religion, youâve got to be kind of scrambled. And yet when youâre dealing with mental illness, theyâre like, well, thatâs something you canât see. So itâs like they donât believe in it. Theyâre able to believe, like in a giant floating spaghetti monster. But theyâre not going to.
Lisa: All hail his noodly appendage.
Gabe: Yes, Iâm a Pastafarian.
Lisa: Ramen.
Rachel: Yes, but theyâre not willing to believe in mental illness. Theyâll be like, no, thatâs not a real thing, though, thatâs a weakness. Thatâs, you know, you got a really good imagination or oh, thatâs Satan then, itâs not you. Itâs something else. The idea that your brain can hallucinate. No, no, no, no. We all have these biases and blind spots in our lives. The thing I always find most surprising is Iâll talk to people and sometimes the ones who are the most atheists are also then the most weird about other things like superstitions and ghosts and aliens. And Iâll be like, what? You just made fun of me for saying a Bible verse, but youâre over here going on about like these magic crystals.
Lisa: Yeah.
Rachel: What is the difference? Iâm slightly offended.
Lisa: That is a thing that bothers me all the time.
Rachel: Yeah.
Lisa: Either youâre skeptical or youâre not.
Rachel: Right. So Iâm not being like, oh, itâs just Christianity, like itâs across everything almost with us. And Iâm sure each of us have our own, like, little weird things like that.
Gabe: Let let letâs explore that just a little further, because you are correct. You know, this episode is focusing on the role of religion and mental health care and where religion makes things worse and where religion can potentially make things better. But if we take out the word religion and replace it with CBD oil, essential oils, yoga, aromatherapy,Â
Lisa: Crystals.
Gabe: Could have the identical, yeah, crystals. We could literally have the identical conversation. Do you think that sometimes people believe that religion is a solution, again, because of a base misunderstanding about how serious mental illness is? And potentially, Iâm hoping thereâs some religious leaders out there that maybe think to themselves, well, I donât believe that CBD oil or aromatherapy or crystals can cure mental illness, but I sure can. And maybe if they apply it that way, they think to themselves, all right, this is medical in nature. I honestly donât know what point Iâm trying to make, which is a theme with this podcast. But as a Christian, it sounds like you have not used Christianity really to fight schizophrenia. A lot of people I know in recovery keep them separate. But I know a lot of people who are literally in harmâs way right now because, quote, their pastors got this, their faith communities got this. My faith will see me through. And in the meantime, thereâs not a doctor anywhere. And I worry about those people because you got an exorcism. But finally, made your way to a doctor. So many people get the exorcism and then move on to a second exorcism or then theyâre told that they didnât pray hard enough and therefore theyâve got to. These are the things that strike me. Rachael, push back hard against that.
Rachel: Look at our entire world. We have like thousands of years of this is such a big issue. And if itâs not the religions we currently have, thereâll be a new one out in 100 years. Thereâll be some new weird thing we believe in. Thatâs how humans are. Weâre always going to believe in weird crap. And there always are going to be fanatical people who push it to the next level. For my other Christians, my religious people, back to the cancer scenario. If you have cancer, thatâs great. You believe in God, thatâs great. You believe heâs gonna heal you? Spoiler alert. He might have made medicine as that resource of how to heal you. So you can believe and pray to God and still take your medication to get better. Same thing with schizophrenia. I can believe in God and still also believe, hey, I need to take my own anti-psychotics, because thatâs a whole nother level of God talking to me if I donât. That probably is something very physically wrong with me that has nothing to do with the spirit realms, the ghosts, the aliens.
Gabe: For me personally, I believe that religion is a very personal thing, and as long as you donât push your religion on me, I wonât push my lack of religion on you. And thatâs sort of how I live my life. Itâs easier said than done. Iâm not saying that Iâve never got into a Facebook fight because Iâm only human. And it sounds like thatâs where you are as well. And I think thatâs a very mature place to be. But I really, as a mental health advocate, I become terrified when people tell me that they are treating severe and persistent mental illness with religion or some variation thereof. Do you feel the same way? Is this like a part where we agree?
Rachel: I mean, yeah, youâre setting yourself up to fail. And I think now you can also use that with anything. If I decide to treat my very severe schizophrenia with just counseling, Iâm probably setting myself up to fail because this isnât just a hey, I need to go and talk about it. Iâm still going to become very, very, very sick if I just sit around talking about having schizophrenia. I have to be on medication. Iâm on four different antidepressants alone, and I still go to counseling and pray and all this stuff. Does that mean that I donât believe in God because I have to take four antidepressants? No, it just means that I have an illness that I need to, if Iâm going to keep living, I have to do this thing. I have to take this medication.
Gabe: Makes perfect sense to me.
Lisa: Rachel, thank you so much for being here. Do you have any last thoughts that youâd like to share with us?
Rachel: Just if youâre out there and youâre having a hard time and youâve went through things like exorcism and stuff like that, know that youâre not alone and get help. Because we all definitely need help to get through some of our past traumas. And check out Inside Schizophrenia if you want to hear more Gabe at least.
Gabe: Ah, itâs Gabe and Rachel and itâs a really, really cool podcast. Itâs actually hosted by Rachel, I am just the co-host and you can find Inside Schizophrenia on your favorite podcast player or by going to the website, which. Rachel, whatâs the Web site?
Rachel: PsychCentral.com/IS.
Gabe: Rachel, thank you so much. You are the bomb.
Lisa: Yeah. Thank you so much. You were great.
Rachel: Thank you, guys.
Lisa: All right, bye-bye.Â
Rachel: Bye.
Gabe: I thought it was great that Rachel stopped by and, Lisa, I get to work with her all the time, Na na na na naa naaa.
Lisa: Sheâs amazing.
Gabe: Lisa, what are your first impressions?
Lisa: I have trouble understanding how after going through something so horrible as the exorcism, she still finds a place for faith in her recovery. How about you, Gabe? What did you think about what Rachel had to say?
Gabe: One of the things that I think of is support is extraordinarily important in mental illness. Like my recovery is owed to my support system. And if your faith community is extraordinarily supportive and accepting, then, yeah, I love it. But thereâs this base assumption that every single faith community is accepting of people with mental illness, and thatâs not entirely the case. So thereâs a side that we never think about. And if you fall into that side, I want to be very clear that your faith community, your religion, can be a detriment. I suppose the easy answer is, if that is your faith community, you can switch. But we all know that not so easy.
Lisa: Well, and it doesnât have to just be that your faith community doesnât support your recovery in mental illness, it could be that they donât support you either. You know you hear all sorts of horror stories of people who are gay and theyâre rejected by their church. And that can cause a lot of damage.
Gabe: I can also see, and this is what I want to get out there, there are congregations and religions that just flat out donât believe in mental illness. So you and your family may well be willing to see a doctor. But, of course, youâre discouraged. I want to give a shout out to all of the faith leaders, all of the communities that notice something is wrong and support and encourage and help. And I know this from advocacy. Do you know how many churches are involved in advocacy? I visit churches on the regular to provide workshops, etc. So I do have this struggle. Iâm really very much in the middle because churches support their communities in great ways. But again, if they can support their communities in great ways, it does mean that they could be a hindrance. I just want to say to anybody that is a hindrance, please, please reconsider. Because with treatment, recovery is very, very likely.
Lisa: Thereâs just so many variables with the specific person, the specific religion, the community, the faith. So thereâs just no clear cut answer on whether or not religion is going to be helpful or harmful when it comes to your recovery.
Gabe: The reality is, is your mileage may vary. Not everything is inherently good. Not everything is inherently bad.Â
Lisa: Exactly, itâs all about the specifics of the situation. Thereâs not going to be one answer that works for everyone.
Gabe: One of the things that was curious to me is that she mentioned that when she made this video, she got all of these emails from people who were traumatized by it. And Iâm not surprised. I see a lot of abuses like this. And my e-mail is filled with people who are using religion and faith to meet recovery all the time. Now with negative consequences.Â
Lisa: Right.
Gabe: I should be clear like that. Maybe thatâs the thing. Maybe the people who are having good experiences using religion to manage the symptoms of mental illness just arenât e-mailing me. I do want to be open to that possibility. But the people who are hurt, theyâre just so hurt. And whenever I try to get religion to move forward, like, listen, all youâve got to do is stay out of it. Like, they stay out of cancer treatment. Just stay out of it. Whenever anybody hears a story of somebody saying, Iâm quitting my chemotherapy. Iâm not going to an oncologist. Iâm just praying over cancer. Generally speaking, people are like, thatâs not a good idea. But whenever people hear, I am no longer taking the medication, going to therapy, or getting help for schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, psychosis, Iâm just going to pray and fall on my church community. People are like, yeah, yeah. I donât have anything against religion. I just want them to move over to the same model as cancer. Is that wrong?
Lisa: This is just another outcome or another symptom of the way that people donât perceive mental illness as being an actual medical problem. Itâs a behavior problem. Itâs a spiritual problem. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. So when someone says, thatâs exactly what Iâm gonna do, Iâm gonna go use religion to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Weâre like, oh, yes, that makes sense. But most people donât think you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps to get rid of cancer. So if you said to them, Iâm going to go use religion to do this, well, that doesnât make sense. You need medicine. So this is just another example of how people do not see mental illness as an actual illness.
Gabe: I think itâs really interesting that when people donât see mental illnesses as serious or something that needs medical intervention or you can do that, you know, pull yourself up by your bootstraps thing, and then it mixes with a controversial topic like religion or medication or other beliefs. That, it becomes this quagmire of weâre no longer discussing the best way to treat people with mental illness, but weâre bringing in our dislike of discussing emotions or dislike of taking medications or just the way society feels about having a mental illness. And all of a sudden youâre not really discussing the best way to get care anymore are you? Youâre now fighting against the thing that you already either liked or disliked when you walked in the door. Do you think religion just falls into that trap? That weâre not actually discussing mental health, weâre just discussing our personal beliefs on religion and weâre just having the wrong discussion entirely?
Lisa: Not necessarily, you always say that the reason people arenât seeking out medical care for mental illness is because they donât see it as being serious. And Iâm sure thatâs part of it, but I donât think thatâs all of it. Itâs not so much that they see it as being trivial or not being serious itâs that they donât understand the base premise of this is a biologically based problem. So itâs not that they think, oh, this is a small thing. No big deal. No. You could easily think that this is a horrible, terrible thing that needs lots and lots of care and lots and lots of resources devoted to it and still not think that it needs these specific type of resources. You could think that, oh, no, the resources it needs are behavioral based or spiritual.
Gabe: So youâre doing everything you can, but because of your base misunderstanding of whatâs wrong.
Lisa: Your base understanding of whatâs causing the problem in the first place. So you can put tons of energy and resources into solving the problem, but if you donât understand what caused it to start with, it doesnât matter how many resources you throw at it because youâre not doing the right things that will work to solve it.
Gabe: This is a grease fire. I really think thatâs a great analogy.
Lisa: Yes.
Gabe: This is a grease fire. You believe that the fire is real. Thereâs no debate at the seriousness of the fire thatâs in your kitchen.
Lisa: You understand the danger.
Gabe: If you have an understanding of grease fires, you smother, you grab the lid, you put it on the pot, you grab towels, you deprive it of oxygen, it goes out and itâs fine. If you donât understand it, even though youâre thinking that itâs very serious, you spray it with water. And then, of course, that blows the grease everywhere. The fire gets worse and itâs horrible. Nobody is saying that water is bad. Nobody is saying that the fire isnât serious. I think thatâs the perfect analogy.
Lisa: That is a perfect analogy because itâs not that people donât think fire is dangerous or that they donât want it out, itâs just that they donât understand what it takes to put it out quickly and safely.
Gabe: I sincerely hope that all the people listening to this, no matter what side of the discussion, the debate that youâre on, or most likely somewhere in the middle. And I hope that youâve listened to the very, very end. I am very flattered with all of our listeners who take the time to write me to tell me that they disagreed with us. But I can tell based on their letters and their e-mails and their comments that they listened all the way to the end. So even though they completely disagreed with us, they still listened and considered our viewpoints. They ultimately considered that we were wrong. I like that. And I want you to know that we have been reading your e-mails. Because our minds have been altered, our minds have been altered during the research of some of these shows. And I think that that is really, really cool. So keep them coming over to, Lisa, whatâs our e-mail address?
Lisa: [email protected]. Again, thatâs [email protected].
Gabe: All right, everybody, I hope you had fun this week. Listen up, hereâs what I need you to do. If you like the podcast, wherever you downloaded it, please subscribe. Use your words and rate us. Share us on social media, email us to your friends. Tell your mom about us. We do crazy well in the mom demographic. And did you know that after the credits there is always an outtake? Basically where Gabe and Lisa either made a mistake, said something funny, or the whole thing just devolved into a giant fight. We hope that you will check it out.
Lisa: And weâll see you next Tuesday.
Announcer: Youâve been listening to the Not Crazy Podcast from Psych Central. For free mental health resources and online support groups, visit PsychCentral.com. Not Crazyâs official website is PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. To work with Gabe, go to gabehoward.com. Want to see Gabe and me in person? Not Crazy travels well. Have us record an episode live at your next event. E-mail [email protected] for details.Â
 from World of Psychology https://ift.tt/2ZIi7iQ via theshiningmind.com
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