#but then you can argue she was already traumatised at that point but still

[deathandnonexistentialdread]

the way i took a double take

[bronzeagepizzeria]

TEN AND ROSE: WERE THEY HAVING SEX?

Disclaimer: I absolutely support people writing whatever makes them happy; this is NOT a criticism of ten x rose smutfic/established relationship/babyfic etc, I’ve read and enjoyed several of those, this is simply my reading of their canon relationship.

Every once in a while, the Rose Tyler tag sees text posts about how, obviously, Ten and Rose were sleeping together throughout Series 2, as evidenced by their absolutely sizzling chemistry in episodes such as New Earth and Tooth and Claw.

Most of them are usually in good humour—a “can you BELIEVE this chemistry” sort of thing, but there does exist a genuine belief among some that they really were sexually intimate already.

So, let's examine this canonically, from a Tentoo lens.

Were they having sex?

Short answer: No.

Long answer?

Throughout Series 1, we pick up on hints of the Ninth Doctor’s feelings for Rose growing, as well as Rose beginning to have feelings for the Doctor. It’s quite subtle in comparison to Series 2; here’s two great friends beginning to fall in love—flirting and bantering and getting jealous of other love interests xD. It’s not a very explicit romance (and this is why Rose haters tend to prefer NineRose, but that’s a conversation for another day) but it is heavily implied, and it is sealed with a kiss in The Parting of the Ways.

When Rose looks into the heart of the TARDIS and comes back for the Doctor, this romance is made explicit. When the Doctor dies to take the vortex out of Rose, the romance is made explicit. This is no longer a crush, or simple endearment, they’re in love.

The Tenth Doctor is born out of this love. He now knows the extent of Rose’s feelings, and he knows just how far she is willing to go for him. (This is a blessing and a curse, but we’ll come back to that some other time.)

Rose’s immediate reaction to seeing Ten is asking him to change back—(something that noticeably distresses him—the fact that she might not like him anymore). She spends the entirety of The Christmas Invasion mourning him, (which is fair since he never told her the tiny little detail of his ability to regenerate. Sigh.) and only really comes around to him at the end of that episode. We can safely assume, then, that they haven’t had sex.

In New Earth, they’re still very much relearning their dynamic—how do they work together, fit together now? We learn that Rose is physically attracted to the Tenth Doctor, thanks to Cassandra, and Rose's slightly mortified reaction at hearing this from him implies that there's been no confession of the sort to him.

You could argue that maybe something happened off-screen between Episodes 2 and 3, but as Ally on the tentoo x rose server pointed out, that would be shoddy writing. A physical relationship amongst the main two leads that is never even alluded to with a chaste kiss, is odd. So we can assume this major development didn't happen.

Tooth and Claw, the one episode that is constantly subject to 'they were totally shagging' discourse, has exceptionally flirty energy, yes, but this is because Ten and Rose are both very tactile people. Make no mistake, they definitely are flirting and being more touchy-feely than strictly necessary, but it would be narratively inconsistent for the reason for this behaviour to be 'they were having sex.'

Why?

I'd like to point out this dialogue we get from Queen Victoria:

This moment is extremely important; it plants the seeds for the proper beginning of one of the main themes of S2, which is the biggest reason the two of them are not constantly shagging in the TARDIS.

From this point on, something has been re-awakened in the Doctor, the fear of outliving someone he loves again.

We have to remember the Doctor is a severely traumatised man, a man who has outlived his entire species, and the idea of this girl he loves dying and leaving him alone is unbearable.

In School Reunion we get this spelt out for us. The Doctor sees Sarah Jane again, and reality strikes. This will be Rose, one day. There’s a key confrontation that takes place in this episode, an argument that remains unresolved because there are certain things Ten cannot bring himself to say.

DOCTOR: I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone who you…

ROSE: What, Doctor?

There is a later confrontation in the same episode, where the Doctor is tempted with the idea of never having to see anyone wither and die again.

Even the infamous The Girl in the Fireplace doubles down on these themes--the Doctor's immortality. Time running out.

The Age of Steel two-parter brings with it the “gingerbread house”. Things we want which we cannot have.

This, in fact, is the crux of their entire relationship, folks. The incompatible lifespans. Rose's mortality. Untapped desire. The unsaid.

This is why it's important and impactful that Rose, on the last day she gets to see the Doctor, ever, plucks up the courage to actually put words to what she feels. This is why the unfinished confession in Doomsday hurts so much. Because they finally, finally took that plunge but it was too late.

Assuming that they've been in a physically intimate relationship all the while takes away from the gravity of this moment.

(Not to mention it's super exploitative, considering the inherent power dynamics. To think Ten had sex with Rose all that time--entirely aware of her feelings--and didn't have the decency to say he loved her and then proceeded to force her to choose between him and another version of himself...is problematic.)

I would go as far as saying it's a fundamentally wrong reading of their entire relationship, and of the Doctor himself.

I've seen people say the "baby scare" in Doomsday is proof that they'd been physically intimate, but it is, quite obviously the Doctor being afraid Rose was pregnant with Mickey's baby, not his.

DOCTOR: You've still got Mister Mickey, then? ROSE: There's five of us now. Mum, Dad, Mickey and the baby. DOCTOR: You're not?

He is, in his not so subtle way, trying to figure out if Rose is back with Mickey. It only hammers in the fact that he's missed his chance---not that the child might be his.

DOCTOR: Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead. Here you are, living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have. ROSE: Am I ever going to see you again? DOCTOR: You can't.

Again, the narrative hammers this in. Their time is up. Rose will inevitably move on one day, without him.

All this to say…

TenRose in Series 2 is a tale of what could be. Of missed opportunities, and the lives and love we could have had.

But why is this important?

In order to understand Tentoo and Journey's End, it is vital we understand this aspect of TenRose. The yearning, the skirting around feelings in the room, the denial of gratification on Ten's part. The desire he cannot give in to.

Because Tentoo is the realisation of this desire. He is the second chance.

He is the embodiment of the Doctor grabbing hold of his one, short life and deciding to live it to the fullest. Tentoo is making a choice here--a choice to truly love Rose the way he has ached to do for years. This is why it's significant that he was able to get the words out while Ten wasn't.

This is why Rose chooses him.

This snippet of an email RTD received from Pete Bower sums it up extremely eloquently:

“In having one Doctor grieve for his lost love, while the other Doctor went off with that same lost love, you have written of that moment we all have where we make a choice. It is grieving for the love we never had (and the sex we never had) because of the choices we made.”

[tleeaves]

Folks going "WHAT they made a show about the Fallout franchise?? I've been hearing people say Bethesda messed it up, but I haven't watched it myself, so I'm going to trust the word of other people -- some of which also haven't finished watching it" is driving me insane.

Being a hard core fan of something obviously brings with it a lot of passionate feelings when adaptations come into play. Of course, there's going to be people going "but in 8 episodes of the first ever season they made, they didn't explore Theme C or D, didn't introduce factions E and F and G, and because the source company is notorious for its scams, we and everyone else who's a TRUE fan should hate it".

The Amazon Original series Fallout follows the videogame franchise of the same name. It is a labour of love and you can tell by the attention to detail, the writing, the sets, and YES THE THEMES ARGUE WITH THE WALL. It's clearly fan service. I mean, the very characterisation of Lucy is a deadringer for someone playing a Fallout game for the first time. She embodies the innocent player whose expectations drastically change in a game that breaks your heart over and over again. Of course, she's also the vessel through which we explore a lot of themes, but I'll get to that.

There're some folks arguing that the show retcons the games, and I gotta say... for a website practically built on fandom culture, why are we so violently against the idea of someone basing an adaptation on a franchise that so easily lends itself to new and interesting interpretations? But to be frank, a lot of what AO's Fallout is not that new. We have: naive Vault dweller, sexy traumatised ghoul that people who aren't cowards will thirst over, and pathetic guy from a militaristic faction. We also have: total atomic annihilation, and literally in-world references to the games' lore and worldbuilding constantly (the way I was shaking my sister over seeing Grognark the Barbarian, Sugar Bombs, Cram, Stimpaks, and bags of RadAway was ridiculous). Oh, and the Red Rocket?? Best pal Dogmeat? I'm definitely outing myself as specifically a Fallout 4 player, but that's not the point you should be taking away from this.

The details, the references, and the new characters -- this show is practically SCREAMING "hey look, we did this for the fans, we hope you love it as much as we do". Who cares that the characters are new, they still hold the essence of ones we used to know! And they're still interesting, so goddamn bloody interesting. Their arcs mean so much to the story, and they're told in a genuinely intriguing way. This isn't just any videogame adaptation, this was gold. This sits near Netflix's Arcane: League of Legends level in videogame adaptation. Both series create new plots out of familiar worlds.

Of course, those who've done the work have already figured out AO's Fallout is not a retcon anyway. But even if it was, that shouldn't take away from the fact that this show is actually good. Not even just good, it's great.

Were some references a little shoe-horned in to the themes by the end of the show, such as with "War never changes"? Yes, I thought so. But I love how even with a new plot and characters, they're actually still exploring the same themes and staying true to the games. I've seen folks argue otherwise, but I truly disagree. The way capitalism poisons our world, represented primarily through The American Dream and the atomic age of the 45-50s that promoted the nuclear family dynamic -- it's there. If you think it's glorifying it by leaning so heavily into in the adaptation, I feel like you're not seeing it from the right angle. It's like saying Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck glorifies the American Dream, when both this book and the Fallout franchise are criticisms of it. If you think about it, the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout is a graveyard to the American Dream. This criticism comes from the plots that are built into every Fallout story that I know of. The Vaults are literally constructed to be their own horror story just by their mere existence, what they stand for, what happens in each of them. The whole entire show is about the preservation of the wrong things leading to fucked up worlds and people. The missions of the Vaults are time and again proven to be fruitless, unethical, plain wrong. Lucy is our brainwashed character who believed in the veritable cult she lived in before she found out the truth.

So then consider the Brotherhood of Steel. I really don't think it exists in the story to glorify the military. We see just how much the Brotherhood has brainwashed people like Max (also, anything ominously named something like "the Brotherhood" should raise eyebrows). Personally, I don't like Max, but I am intrigued by his characterisation. I thought the end of his arc was rushed the way he "came good" basically, but [SPOILERS] having him embraced as a knight in the Brotherhood at the end against his will -- finally getting something he always wanted -- and him grimly accepting it from all that we can tell? Him having that destiny forced upon him now that he's swaying? After he defected? If his storyline is meant to be a tragedy, it wouldn't surprise me, because Fallout is rife with tragedies anyway. And a tragedy would also be a criticism of the military. That's what Max's entire arc is. It goes from the microcosm focusing on the cycle of bullying between soldiers to the macro-environment where Max is being forced to continue a cycle of violence against humanity he doesn't want to anymore because a world driven to extremes forces him to choose it to survive (not to mention what a cult and no family would do to his psyche). Let's not forget what the Brotherhood's rules are: humankind is supreme. Mutants, ghouls, synths, and robots are abominations to be hated and destroyed. If you can't draw the parallels to the real world, you need to retake history and literature classes. The Brotherhood is also about preserving the wrong things, like the Vaults (like the Enclave, really). They just came about through different method. The Enclave is capitalism and twisted greed in a world where money barely exists anymore. The Brotherhood is, well, fascism plain and simple.

Are these the only factions in the Fallout franchise? Hell no. But if you're mad about that -- that they're the main ones explored, apart from the NCR -- I think you're missing the point. These themes, these reminders, are highly relevant in the current climate. In fact, I almost think they always will be relevant unless we undergo drastic change. On the surface-level, Fallout seems like the American ideal complete with guns blazing that guys in their basements jerk off to. Under that surface, is a mind-fuck story about almost the entire opposite: it's a deconstruction of American ideals that are held so closely by some, and the way that key notion of freedom gets twisted, and you're shooting a guy in-game because it's more merciful than what the world had in store for him.

I mean, the ghoul's a fucking cowboy from the wild west character he used to play in Hollywood glam and his wife was one of the people who helped blow up America in the name of capitalism and "peace". There are so many layers of this to explore, I'd need several days to try and keep track and go through it all.

The Amazon Prime show is a testament to the Fallout franchise. The message, the themes? They were not messed up or muddled or anything of the sort, in my opinion.

As for Todd Howard, that Bethesda guy, I'm sure there's perfectly valid reasons to hate him. I mean, I've hated people for a lot less valid reasons, and that's valid. We all got our feelings. But the show is about more than just him. My advice is to keep that in mind when you're judging it.

[ravenclod]

DISC: this 'essay' is NOT hating on madohomu, or hating on people for shipping them. nor is it hating on Homura, or implying that her actions should be changed. It is simply an opinion from someone who loves Homura's character who also ships Madohomu, and just wants to rant about things i feel are ignored by the fandom. Please read the full thing before reblogging or replying with your opinions so i dont need to repeat myself.

Maybe I'm just a hater, but I don't understand how people can look at Homura and just excuse everything she’s done, especially in regards to Madoka, because she "actually loved everyone!” and "Is traumatised" and "It’s just toxic yuri!". It feels like a complete ignorance of her character and disregards the complexity and depth of her writing.

Now, obviously, I don't mean when people make jokes about it, I get that, but it’s when people genuinely don't acknowledge how madohomu is unhealthy and homura is a bad person. That is quite literally the whole point.

I'm aware that she does care about the other girls, which is why she didn't try to kill Mami in rebellion, and just acted like the others didn't matter throughout the show because she was all out of hope and had to concentrate on the one thing keeping her sane, which was Madoka. But that is exactly my point. That obsessiveness, that reliance on one singular person [ who is also largely unaware of the reason for said reliance ] is incredibly unhealthy. It is unhealthy. It is toxic. I'm not saying homura is abusive, like some people have, because she absolutely is not, but she is obsessive to the point of being unable to see madoka in a negative way. Even when she criticises her it’s from a "you're so stupid you can’t tell that people love you/you’re so stupid for doing this you're gonna get hurt" point of view, rather than the view of "oh you are genuinely naïve and mess up like everyone". [1] This in turn harms both of them, as she is putting her on a pedestal which Madoka will feel guilty for being on and worry about upholding, and it ruins Homura as she will simply spiral further into this unhealthy mindset.

She takes her [ Madoka’s ] word to the extreme, the word of which has no form of context and is speaking from the equivalent of the naïve Madoka that we see in the first episode. Homura then uses that to justify what she goes on to do during Rebellion, which in turn harms Madoka. when she rips Madoka from herself, I understand it's to avoid the incubators getting to her, and it is very in character, but she still actively harmed Madoka, and went against her wish to save all magical girls [ from becoming witches ] at least, in part.

Her obsessiveness does then leech off and affect everyone else, because she is also friends with them and does care for them. They begin to lose respect and gain upset over Homura, as she is now a girl who has one goal and throws them to the side to achieve this, not attempting to make genuine connections and discarding those which she does have - namely Kyoko in the show. This behaviour affects the other girls in the obvious sense of they die quicker and more frequently as Homura is no longer attempting to intervene; affecting Madoka too, as she ends up getting stressed about her friends not getting along, before then having the trauma of seeing her friends die. [ This is not to put the blame on Homura as it happens regardless, but the point is for everyone else, it will seem like Homura could have helped, even if it was out-with her power.] This will harm Homura as a result, for it will plague her how she treats her friends like this, and will only cause her self-esteem to plummet further than it already has.

Additionally, there are points where she could be argued to be manipulative, which is up to personal judgement, but it is worth noting. Obviously, it would not be from her own awareness or intention, but it is still a plausible outcome of her actions - i.e., the way she speaks to Madoka in the show, almost threatening her before then sobbing over her and acting like she is the most important girl in the world, [2] which, keep in mind, will be weird for Madoka as she barely knows this girl. This isn't to say Homura's actions aren’t understandable, especially in the show, but that doesn't remove the negative impact that they have. Homumado may be cute, and it is cute, especially pre-timeloop, but the reality is, even now, it wouldn't work without years and years of couple therapy.

I also am going to mention kyosaya, as they are also unhealthy, and I know someone may try to bring up how I love them so much in spite of this fact. They are definitely not the most healthy relationship, literally trying to kill each other in a fight in the first episode they met. It is practically impossible to ship characters in this show and have a healthy relationship [ with maybe the exception of madosaya pre-timelooping ]. However, the difference between kyosaya and madohomu is my general issue altogether, which isn't that the ships are unhealthy, but rather the way the fandom treats them in regards to them being such.

Kyosaya is known for being enemies to lovers, its known for being unhealthy and its known for being liked in the theory of "oh this is what they could have been, had they been given more time to understand each other.". It is also an equal relationship, there are no forms of power dynamic between the two, both are equally vulnerable; both hate the other at the start, and respect and care for one another at the end - as seen in rebellion. Even when Kyoko is stronger than Sayaka, that's cancelled out by Sayaka's determination and healing properties.

Homumado, on the other hand, are known for being equally doomed, but in the sense of "Oh Homura will never save Madoka, Madoka will always die, they can never be together.". There is never that acknowledgement that they wouldn't work, even if by some miracle the looping ended. There is simply too much that has happened. The only possible scenario is arguably one in which Madoka stays as Madokami, and Homura stays as the devil, for at least both have equal memories of all that has transpired, but even that has huge issues due to Homura's abandonment issues and obsessiveness toward madoka. There is also, unlike in kyosaya, a large power imbalance, which goes both ways at different points.

In the main show, this is heavy on Homura, as she knows so much about Madoka, she's seen her at her best and worst, and she knows all that will happen. She is also stronger than her, as for the most part Madoka is not a magical girl, and is unable to do anything to prevent her friends’.

Flip that to when Madoka is god however, and she is now the topheavy one, as she is fully aware of everything that has transpired. and Homura is so obsessive. If madoka were anyone else, it could very quickly turn bad with Madoka manipulating Homura's infatuation - which obviously isn't an issue as madoka is so nice, but you get my point.

It is a point though that homura still has power over madoka, especially considering her removal of "Madoka" from "Madokami". She technically has a part madoka all for herself, and has relative power over that for the time being. No one is able to do anything. It’s almost like she’s controlling a doll, except the doll is a piece of madoka she’s refusing to let return to the rest of her.

This is what I mean when I say there is no form of permanent equity between the two, while kyosaya are a yin and yang of give and take, madohomu are simply always off balance. Which is why they're so unhealthy.

Again, that doesn't mean they're not a good ship. That doesn't mean they're not cute, and they don't deserve to be together. It could 10000% work out, just as kyosaya is also toxic but could still work out. My issue isn't with the ship, the writing, or the characters, but rather the disregard to the discussions surrounding it.

To paint Homura as a "cute girl who's a bit obsessed” is a disservice to the complexities of her actions and her humanity, as again, she is a heavily traumatised 14 year old girl. Her actions are realistic, her actions make sense. But her actions aren’t good. This is not a critique on Homura, but a critique of the denial that she has done these bad things. denying as such waters her down and mischaracterizes her. It defeats the point of her as a character.

After all, she is the devil. She’s not intended to be nice.

[1] - "How stupid can you possibly be" - episode 5

[2] - fountain scene, episode 8, where she breaks down in front of madoka

[tea-time-with-london]

I agree with the Hopper s3 anon. He was absolutely toxic and what they did to his character was out of pocket.

One thing it was shown that he was on meds in s1, which likely contributed to having his anger issues under control, and he might have gone off the meds between s2 and s3.

But still Hopper isn't the best suited father figure for the Byers or El. Their fight in s2 was so hard to watch, I get him frustrated, but El is a traumatised girl who missed her friends. She only knows violence since she was born essentially, and Hopper can't handle a child like this.

He couldn't even talk normally to Mike in s3, which, yeah, Mike was an ass but he's still a child.

Does the fandom really think Hopper would be supportive of Will coming out? Nope, he was already homophobic to him in s1. He doesn't know how to talk to kids or show empathy for their struggles.

Bob was the only person I could have seen been right for the Byers. He cared about Joyce and the kids. Even though Jonathan didn't like him, Bob was never mean to him. He gave him space. Bob was patient and kind. Hopper is the opposite. He's a lot like Lonnie in terms of having a bad temper. He will trigger Joyce and the boys. Like I love him as an action hero, but he is terrible for the Byers family. And now, with more added trauma, he won't process that well idk. He would need therapy, but it's the 80s, and men show no feelings. Men don't cry kinda bullshit.

I love Jopper in theory (childhood friends to lovers), but they made Hopper into Lonnie 2.0, so I can't ship him with Joyce. She deserves someone like Bob, a gentle soul who keeps her calm and doesn't yell at her for minor things.

Confession #119

Hm. So like I partially get where you're coming from but allow me to touch on a few things, if I may. First, let me just say I also loved Bob. He was a sweet, gentle soul who truly did care for Joyce and the boys. (I wish I could describe my dad's reaction to Bob's death. My dad was mortified. He loved Bob.)

As for Hopper...I don't remember anywhere in season 1 where Hopper was homophobic to Will. I haven't watched season 1 in a bit so I could be misremembering, but I can't even name a scene in my head where he was homophobic.

But a genuine question for you is do you not believe he can change? At all? What would be the point of Hopper going through all 5 seasons and remaining exactly the same?

Hopper is re-learning how to be a parent, this is something I think we all have to remember. His only child died at just like five or six years old. As a parent, he was probably feeling so unbelievably helpless because he couldn't protect or save his little girl. This helplessness transformed into the overprotectiveness we saw in season 2. While he may have been overbearing, it wasn't out of malice. He was trying to do everything he could to keep El safe from the people that wanted to hurt her. And sure, he absolutely could have gone about it a different way, I won't argue against that at all because there were times he could have exercised grace and patience and figured out a solution where they were both happy.

As for season 3, I also wasn't the biggest fan of how Hopper acted toward Mike, but also he's watching his daughter grow up and branch out with friends and her boyfriend and there comes that protectiveness again that a lot of parents have toward their kiddos. Again, obviously I don't approve of the way Mike was treated. I think Hopper could have eased up on him while also implementing boundaries as a parent.

And remember...Hopper only got to spend 5 years with his daughter Sarah. El is like a preteen/teen in seasons 2-3. This is a whole different experience for Hopper. He's never parented a teenager before, much less a teen daughter who is superhuman as a single father. Parenthood is trial and error.

And then we obviously have to factor trauma into the conversation as an explanation for a lot of his behavior, but of course that's never an excuse for behavior. But Hopper loves El, and Hopper loves Joyce (and though I feel like we don't really see Hopper and the Byers brothers in scenes together, I'm sure he loves them too) then I think that's some motivation to work on his own healing so he doesn't project onto other people. My point in saying all this is that characters grow and change. And I think Hopper has honestly showed a lot of feelings. Just think of the conversations he had with Enzo in Russia. He showed genuine, raw emotion talking about Sarah and El and all the shit he's been through. That's process. That's development.

At the end of the day, you feel the way you feel about it all and that's perfectly fine. Just wanted to open up the discussion a bit :)

[xdazzlex]

so many interesting points that I can or could have relate/d to over the years, hope it's okay to respond to it <3

yes, honestly at some point it's not the low self-esteem that keeps you away from dating. It's the lack of dating that keeps your low-self esteem where it is.

these clichees are super frustrating. There's plenty of people who have met online (and are now married & kids) precisely because there were very expecting of finding someone. At the same time, the nonchalant, 'not-giving-a-flying, serial daters, casual daters, etc... are the ones who don't have relationships. They are too emotionally unavailable.

'Love yourself"... Does this mean that I should put myself first? Where do I stop & cross the line? Because honestly if I am to spend every day "loving myself" then I'll a) earn a lot money, b) only do my hobbies, c) work out, d) sleep, e)meet my platonic friends & family f) continue to go on lone holidays like I've been over the past... several years :D *Everywhere* alone. Always. Parks, museums, mountains, concerts, *everything*. And yes, dining along. In fact I've been doing all the things that so many people have told me they couldn't ever do on their own... They need someone. I stopped waiting and started experiencing. I can pay for my own fancy dinner, thanks. I also won't have to put any special clothes there... or makeup. It sure is fun. To the point that I'd find the presence of another person annoying. Unless he could just walk after me, keep my pace and shut up most of the time. But it's treating people like accessories/walking dogs. So... Yes, I am loving myself. I've gotten to love myself so much that I no longer have space for anyone else, because that would mean serious compromising...

I also used to think there's definitely something wrong. I saw girls who were uglier/dumber than me, rude and loud, etc etc. And at some point, when in high school, every girl around me (aside from one who was a hard-core Christian-family-raised-dog-on-a-leash that got... forgive the pun... loose once she moved out). I once overheard two guys from high school say about the two of us: 'Man, they're weird" - 'Nah, the slim one (me) is really okay, the fat one (my hardcore Christian friend) is just weird tho". Anyway, there were some girls who were *also* midly disabled (I am, but it's not visible), nowhere near as pretty (I get compliments... only from other women though... but all the time even now well into my 30s :D). And there were girls who were like the MeanGirlsTM, literally. And there were the weird introverted ones (so sort of like me), and there were the super average ones. The cute-girly ones, and the buddy-types (that stupid women's mags can't choose to adise you to be or discourage you from being.. in order to attract male attention). And they all had boyfriends. No rules. Literally, my immature INTJ mind could find no patterns whatsoever.

I then began dating. Mostly not to die a virgin. I managed to find my 1st bf online. He was crap, so we didn't do it :P Thank God! Then another... we did do it... Thank God! Because he was super handsome and it all felt like a cool 70s erotica movie... my first time. I then learnt about depersonalisation and how it's a disorderly state of mind due to trauma lol :D But I still feel I'm lucky and I love my first time. I then dumped him only so as to be able to do it first, because I knew it was coming. Then I found my first "from-IRL" boyfriend. We ended up even living together. We dated for 3 years. And that was a period of awakening. Constant drama & BS. No week without some arguing etc. A borderline sociopathic whiny b*tch. He dumped me when I didn't agree to lend him *any more* money (he'd owened me 12K by that time.... my monthly salary was

Anyway, meanwhile, because served as a pro-bono psychotherapist, I meanwhile learnt a lot. So there are some of the things I've figured out already. Still... considering that I couldn't be the only girl out there who was traumatised, plus let's not just pretend that all the high school/college guys are sane and can detect a 'wounded deer' from a mile to keep away from her (not including even the sociopaths who'd prey on such). I still don't get why I was the only undatable one. Anyway, I noticed that any time I seriously wasn't looking for a relationship (e.g. because I'd just gotten out of one OR I was at the early stages of dating), indeed more guys seemed to notice my presence. Still, never enough to e.g. start some friendly chat, etc.

I meanwhile wen on so many dates with so many men... most of the time, there was never a second date. And we're talking 50+ guys over the past... 10 years? Including the couple years when I had relationships... so while it's 5 on average per year, consider that there were years without a single date. (also the years in which I focused on my diploma paper).

I still appreciate the time. I know that I'd have been so unhappy now if thing had gone differently. I come from a poor family, so I've been woring my ass off to be where I am (a head of one uni department + lecturing at another uni + many other cool things going on for me). I know I'd have been long pregnant numerous times and a sad SAHM, etc. Perhaps even divorced or close to it. So I used all this time to my advantage to learn about what my dealbreakers, standards, etc. should be.

So here I am in my little comfy life... Where if I were to be with a guy, he'd hve to add something not take away... So most guys won't do. 95% of males I pass on the street earn less. 98% are les educated. Let's go further: I'm a handsome (not cute) 30 y o who's often taken as a 28 y o. And not as 'false compliments'. I'm back on the track with my workout routine for the past several months, so I'm bimboing myself up. I've figured whether it's "for a guy" or not, I can look cool regardless. I recently though... on the one hand it'd be sad to find someone only when I'm old... I wish there was someone to appreciate (and collect enough memories to reminisce in the old age) me and my looks while i'm still young. But then again, I'm looking for a connoiseur, not a junk-food-like-relationships fan.

to be continued.... :P

More and more people have started talking about this online which is really nice to see, but I kinda just wanted to go off on a little tangent about never really dating or having much romantic experience and how that has effected my self esteem.

I feel like people say the cliche things like “learn to love yourself first” or “it’ll come when you least expect it” but honestly the more I hear it, the more frustrated I become.

I won’t lie, when I was younger I really did think something HAD to be wrong with me in some way for nobody to see me in a romantic light. It’s taken a lot of work to build myself up into the person I am today, and I’m genuinely very proud of how far I’ve come in terms of the way I feel about myself and my body and the way I’m perceived. I still have bad days, but I don’t think there’s a single person out there who doesn’t. But those bad days are few and far between.

I can honestly say that I do love myself. I think I’m a good person and a kind person and a patient person. I’m a romantic at heart and I have so much love to give but nobody to give it to.

I’ve never had anyone actively seek me out for a relationship. I’ve never been formally asked on a date, the one boyfriend I have had ended up cheating on me.

When you go through life like that, never receiving any kind of validation that you are worthy of being viewed in that way, it becomes incredibly difficult to believe you ever will. It’s so so hard for me to imagine someone else loving me or being interested in that way. Like I can honestly say that I don’t really know what to do if someone compliments me, I doubt I’d really know if I was being flirted with….. and as much as I would really love to get the opportunity to experience romance, I feel like I’ve been so conditioned to think that it’s something that I’ll never have that I wouldn’t be able to identify romantic interest if it hit me with the force of a speeding train.

Maybe this all sounds incredibly trivial and shallow, but honestly I just want to understand what it feels like to have someone love me that way. Yes I have friends and family who love me, but familial and platonic love just aren’t the same.

And onto the topic of “It’ll come when you least expect it” or “just wait, it’ll happen when the time is right.” WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO WAIT TO BE LOVED! I see so many people experiencing romance every day, why not me? Am I not just as deserving?

This whole rant might come off as bitter, and maybe I am. I just hope at the very least that maybe someone else can relate and maybe feel a little less alone in their experience.

[ihatetaxes99]

 Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Yes, it is I, everyone's favourite favourite part-Irish, part-English, part-Welsh twat with yet more demented rambles to indulge in. I wish to talk about a problem I have felt with Boku No Hero for quite some time, one that I feel above all else has tarnished the series in regards to its quality of writing. So, here I am, jotting down my thoughts lest my head combust with it all. I shall try my hardest to keep the vociferous language to a minimum, if not outright eliminated, for I don't have much interest in hyperbole tonight. A basic little rundown of what I think may well have been the nails in BNHA's sacred palms.

 Spoilers below the cut. But I'm sure you knew that already.

 I would argue that this particular issue has been present in the manga persistently since Bakugo's non-sacrifice in Jaku. However, it only became truly evident to me in Chapter 295. The return of Mirio Togata. And hence, I introduce the problem.

 Horikoshi has taken to writing scenes based on their emotional appeal- or 'cool factor'- first, and logic second. Yes, BNHA is a superhero shonen set in a far-future Japan, but that does not excuse it from following its own logical consistency. Every fictional world has its own logic, and that can be as different from ours as it could desire, but it must stick to that logic. In BNHA's case, Quirks have had relatively little impact on society as a whole aside from the obvious, it's still very much a world that can be compared to our own twenty-first century experience. This is all to say that yes, prioritising grandiose set pieces over common sense is not something that can be hand waved away, as this is not a series such as JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, which is built on an inherent silliness.

 To better explain my point, I want to take a look at a few scenes that in particular highlight my frustrations. First of all, Togata's return. It's cool, he's kicking ass and taking names (not that poor Sako has any ass to kick at that point), and it's a huge moment for fans of his character. However, upon relatively brief inspection, it falls apart. Togata recovers his Quirk by having Eri rewind his body, a rather ethically questionable act that can further the already-established questions into the morality of UA and the Japanese government that this arc did serve to push. However, the act itself is never shown, nor are any potential consequences. Eri, a girl who is far too traumatised to use her Quirk, is never shown actually overcoming that fear. Neither character seems to struggle in any way with what happened. Furthermore, Togata just appears on the battlefield from nowhere, conveniently at the best possible time. What compelled UA to make such a choice? It's implied that Aizawa is now her legal guardian and with him on the front lines, who gave consent for Eri to undergo this process, in spite of the dangers to both herself and Togata? All of this to send one extra soldier into the war, a soldier who, for all his flash, only served to arrest a man who most likely would have died had he not been captured and hospitalised. Mirio Togata looks cool, his Quirk is cool and seeing him in action again is no doubt intoxicating for his fans; But the simple fact of the matter is that the terms of his return make absolutely zero sense. This is also without mentioning the fact that him reattaining his Quirk spits in the face of BNHA's main themes of taking life's harshness and making the most out of a bad situation, even when you've lost everything. Togata faced a tangible loss in the Hassaikai Arc, a loss that could have haunted him for the rest of his life. But he was content, and he refused to indulge in self-pity. He made the most out of his bad situation. Now, none of that matters anymore. And he hasn't even done anything of any relevance since then. 

 Exhibit B, Kaina Tsutsumi's death. I am aware that she technically is not dead (somehow; Clearly Horikoshi never realised that giving everybody absurd plot armour doesn't do anything to reduce the distraction of the protagonist's), but let's face it, she won't be returning again, so she may as well be. Tsutsumi is a character I rather enjoyed while she was around. A former government agent, the same breed as Hawks, who realised the depraved depths of her indoctrination and fought back against the system, only to be tossed into Tartarus for it. It's a fascinating idea, one that capitalises upon my love for gritty, grounded government conspiracy plotlines. What becomes of it, then? Well, Tsutsumi is blown up by All for One for disobeying his orders. How does she disobey them? After making clear her distaste for the blind optimism in the hero system displayed by indoctrinated youth, she is swayed to the side of 'righteousness' by Midoirya's blind optimism in the hero system. It is well established that Midoriya is the exact kind of person Tsutsumi despises, with his blind faith in what has been preached to him as justice and his somewhat self-absorbed hero complex, so for him to convince her, a hardened nihilist who had spent the last decade in one of the worst prisons in the country, of the light in the world by demonstrating exactly that is… Well, there are words to describe it that I'm not willing to say right now, so let's just settle on frustrating, shall we? A falling, burning Tsutsumi, caught by Hawks, the shot of her rain-swept face smiling warmly as her head blows apart is a catching visual, and that visual is what the whole scene is built on, once again sacrificing any actual internal or external logic, as well as what has been established for the characters involved. 

 For the final example, I want to illuminate the events of Chapter 377, the most recent to be leaked. I shan't be sharing any direct spoilers for this chapter here, but I wish to bring it in, for it perfectly embodies my point. A certain character reappears, a character with a relatively loyal fanbase, who has not appeared in many years. This character's return is no doubt cause for jubilation for some, but once again, the shock and awe of a beloved character coming back to the story is a mask for the lack of underlying logic for their return. This character's return was not in any way foreshadowed before the final few pages of the chapter. Considering that they are seen next to Tsukauchi, one would think that he would have bothered to at least hint at this at some point in the setup for the current war (even just a vague line like "We've got a few bargaining chips we can use, some strings to pull…" would be preferable to nothing). The fact of the matter is that their return has one purpose; The story's writing explicitly failed in that it made Skeptic too powerful of a threat. He is far away from any of the battlefields, has complete control over UA's systems and is clearly insane enough to kill everyone inside if given the chance. This is not something the story can allow, so it pulls out this character to correct how Horikoshi wrote himself into a corner. Of course, one should also note that, while they were shown to be fairly tech literate, to suggest that they are on par with Skeptic is utterly absurd. Once again, the wow factor is given more care than the quality of writing and internal consistency.

 There are many more examples I could call upon. Bakugo's death and subsequent revival, the explosion of the Creature Rejection Clan mansion, anything involving All for One lately, the Stars And Stripes fight, I could go on. It's sloppy and it's lazy and it's killing the series that once stood at the top of the world. BNHA, like so many other shonen manga, is going out with a depressing whimper. It's almost as bad as Beastars. I said it. While it was never a perfect series, it did once have strong writing and consistency and that is why I still cherish a lot of the manga prior to the Jaku/Gunga Raid Arc. 

 For that reason, I wish to give an example of how in the past, Horikoshi avoided these pitfalls. The My Villain Academia Arc is heralded by many as the peak of the manga, and I am inclined to agree. Although not perfect, it has the strongest characterisation, world building and emotional draw of the series. So, I would like to take a moment to discuss how it ends. A powerful image. The great Re-Destro, always well-dressed, always immaculate, reduced to a naked, exhausted old man, bowing down to an angel of death, Tomura Shigaraki, the being he towered over mere minutes prior. It's a powerful image, one of my favourites in the series. In spite of that, Horikoshi does not use this image as a substitute for substance. Everything behind it is logical. It is well established that Yotsubashi's two key loves are for his ideology and human life, so in ceding control to Shigaraki, he is, in his mind, preventing further deaths and handing his future to who he sees as a fully liberated individual. As we soon see, this was a fatal mistake, for Shigaraki used the MLA as another tool in his path and ultimately discarded them once he was done, but it is clear to see why Yotsubashi saw it as the best option. The internal logic is consistent and sound. It's an example, one that wow factor does not have to be a substitute for satisfying storytelling, and that Horikoshi is far better than his recent output suggests. The man is ill, he's exhausted and he no doubt wants this Godforsaken series to end so that he can start writing something that he has passion for once again. I cannot blame him one bit. The reason I have written this is not to point and laugh at Horikoshi's failings; It is put into writing the heights that BNHA as a manga has fallen from, to its current point of mediocrity. No matter what, it will always be a series with moments that I shall hold dear. It was once something special, under that façade of bland shonen garbage and as much as that façade becomes the true face in the current state of the manga, I shall never forget how much it has helped me in the past.

 Thank you very much for reading and I wish you a pleasant day. If you disagree, please don't hesitate to share why; Healthy discussion on opposing viewpoints is how media thrives.

[ladyofthenoodle]

How much do you think Chat Blanc is a factor in Marinette's decision in s4? I've seen people say that Chat Blanc has had no relevance in the plot other than cheap angst, but IMO she has been traumatised from the event. From what we've seen in s3 and following s4, how much do you think it affects her?

somewhere in between the two positions, i think. it obviously is affecting her, they wouldn't have shown him not once but TWICE in season 4, once in her nightmares and once in a flashback. however, i do think people (perhaps in response to the naysayers who insist it's not important at all) tend to exaggerate how much it's affecting her, which imo oversimplifies what she's going through in season 4. chat blanc is just one of many factors impacting her decision making. i'd argue that the back-of-her-head knowledge that making the wrong decision COULD lead to chat blanc destroying the world does impact all of her decisions to some degree, as that thought could make even small decisions seem terrifying, because what if there's a ripple effect?

but i don't think it's entirely conscious on marinette's part, especially the idea that she's intentionally pushing him away/keeping him in the dark to prevent that—there's just no canon evidence to support that. risk confirms that knowing they can get akumatized is part of why she hasn't budged on revealing identities to each other, but 1. that only directly applies to the decision not to reveal and 2. even without chat blanc, marinette is well aware she can get akumatized too. they could've easily shown a flashback of almost-princess justice to make the same point. the fact that they showed chat blanc instead is significant though: the writers want us to remember that chat blanc is not only a thing, but a thing that's still affecting her and that chat doesn't know about

my headcanon is that chat blanc is something she actively avoids thinking about or reflecting on, which is why we see him pop up in her nightmares and as a mid-argument flashback, but we never see her discuss it with tikki, alya, or chat noir. ESPECIALLY since she doesn't talk to tikki, who already knows about it. heck, she had fluff available to question all season and never brought it up to them either. so to me, it's this giant weight on her shoulders that makes every step she takes that much heavier, but she's doing her best to pretend it isn't there.

[fanficshiddles]

Be Gentle, One shot

Summary: Loki noticed Thor was having trouble pleasuring women. So he ropes you in to help, but while he is trying to teach Thor to be gentle, he finds he wants you all to himself instead. And you only want Loki.

-

Loki was heading along the corridor and was almost knocked over by a young woman charging down it, clearly not happy. He moved to the side to let her passed as she stomped by.

He frowned and looked down the corridor to see Thor stood outside his door, rubbing the back of his head.

‘What did you do?’ Loki headed towards him. ‘Or more, what did you not do?’ He asked knowingly as he reached his brother and leaned against the wall, awaiting his answer.

‘Why do you always assume that I did something wrong?’

‘Because you always do. Especially when it comes to women. Did you fail to pleasure her properly?’ Loki smirked.

Thor glared at Loki, nostrils flaring a little. ‘Not at all… We had fun and’

‘Let me stop you there.’ Loki said with a finger up. ‘When you say we do you mean you had fun, so simply assumed that she also did too? Because that certainly did not look like a satisfied woman.’

Thor was a little stumped, he didn’t answer, just looked down sheepishly.

‘Exactly my point.’ Loki chuckled.

‘Help me, brother. You seem to have luck in pleasuring women, you have them eating out of the palm of your hand. Teach me?’ Thor pleaded.

He wasn’t wrong. Loki did often have a woman spend the night with him back on Asgard, he always gave them a night to remember. Though he hadn’t had as many since arriving on Midgard and moving in with The Avengers. He’d been busier concentrating on work for a change.

‘Why don’t we get a lovely lady’s help.’ Loki suggested.

‘Who do you have in mind?’ Thor asked.

A big grin formed across Loki’s face.

You were just reading a book in the living room when the Asgardians strolled into the room. You looked up, slightly confused when you could feel their eyes on you.

‘Oh… Hi.’ You waved shyly at them, well, mainly at Loki. You were usually so confident, even around The Avengers. But with Loki, he just made you feel like a shy giddy schoolgirl. You had the biggest crush on him.

Loki liked you, he liked your intelligence and how kind you were. You didn’t treat him different from the others, aside from being a bit shy around him. But he found that rather endearing. He had thought about trying to get you into his bed before, but you were too nice to simply be a one-night stand and he wasn’t sure if he was worthy of courting you.

‘Can we borrow you, love?’ Loki asked.

‘Yeah, sure. What can I help you with?’ You asked as you stood up, slightly keener than you had meant to be. But it made Loki smile with how keen you were to help.

You’d do anything for Loki, he just didn’t know it.

‘Let’s go somewhere more private.’ Loki reached out and gently took a hold of your elbow, he also grabbed Thor’s arm and he teleported the three of you to the privacy of his room.

‘My brother has some lady issues.’ Loki started after motioning for you to take a seat on the edge of his bed.

‘Lady issues?’ You raised an eyebrow, glancing at Thor.

‘He manages to scare away everyone he beds, taking his own pleasure and not thinking about the woman.’ Loki explained.

‘Oh… Uhm, how do you need me to help?’ You asked, a slight lump in your throat at discussing this kind of subject with Loki.

‘I wanted to go over a few scenarios with you, see which one appeals more.’ Loki sat down next to you, rather close. ‘You return from dinner with him, are kissed sloppily, more like a dog snogging you. You are manhandled onto the bed, clothes torn off and then you are roughly poked and prodded around your quim, not hitting any good spots at all. Then you are crudely invaded by a reasonably large cock, barely ready. Rammed into until he finds his pleasure, then without making you cum he simply rolls over and says how amazing it was.’

‘Like a DOG?’ Thor roared at Loki. ‘I think you’ll find’

Loki narrowed his eyes at Thor and cut him off. ‘Brother. Was I wrong with any of that description? Or was that pretty much how it went down with that woman I saw running away from you?’

Thor put his hands on his hips angrily and just snarled in response.

‘Does any of that appeal to you, darling?’ Loki asked you.

The only thing that did appeal to you was Loki’s voice telling it. ‘No, not at all.’

‘How about this scenario. You come back from dinner, you are invited into his room for a nightcap. As he hands you the wine glass, his fingers lightly brush against yours.’ As Loki spoke, he acted it out a little by brushing the tips of his fingers against your hand, making your breath catch.

‘He slips an arm around you to pull you in close to him. Brushes your hair back from your face,’ Loki looked at you intently and did as he said, smoothing your hair back behind your ear, then resting his hand on your collarbone. ‘Gently holding your chin, he leans in and kisses you softly, slowly working up to using his tongue in a gentle dance with your own.’

Your heart was hammering in your chest while Loki spoke, so sensual and intimate. You struggled to keep eye contact with him, instead looking at his lips.

‘Then he would slowly remove your clothes, kissing every bit of skin that became available to him. Before gently lowering you onto his bed beneath you. He would kiss and lick his way down, to then make you dance on his tongue. After you were well satisfied, he would take you. Slowly, intimately… Filling you with his cock, rocking into you deep while looking into your eyes. He would make sure that you came first around his cock, to feel you soaking and squeezing him, then he would explode within you.’ Loki’s voice caught in his throat slightly as he had moved a little closer to you, your beautiful scent capturing his attention. And his hand was still resting on you.

‘Loki?’ Thor asked, getting irritated.

‘Well, which is more appealing?’ Loki grinned and leaned back a little, not looking at Thor.

‘Uhm, tha… that last one. Definitely.’ You swallowed hard and nodded, trying to calm your racing heart down.

‘But how do I pleasure a woman? I never seem to even get that part right.’ Thor asked as he started pacing back and fore, clearly frustrated.

Loki rolled his eyes. ‘Do you even know the anatomy of a woman, Thor?’

‘Well, of course.’ Thor nodded, folding his arms over his chest.

‘Oh really? What is the name of the body part on a woman that is most sensitive to stimulation?’ Loki asked, he looked to you and winked.

‘Well, it’s the uh… Of course it’s the vagina.’ Thor chuckled and looked at you with a shrug.

Loki face-palmed and you started laughing.

‘It really is no wonder you can’t pleasure a woman.’ Loki sighed.

‘That’s why I need you to teach me!’ Thor pleaded.

‘You need to listen, didn’t you just hear the two scenarios?’ Loki snapped at him.

‘I need to be taught, I can’t just go by words…’ Then he stopped and looked at you, eyes wide as an idea hit him. ‘I need to be shown, physically!’

Your eyes then widened. ‘Oh no… No, no, no!’ You said quickly, shaking your finger at him.

Loki did look surprised at first too, but then he realised it might be the best way to teach his brother. As you looked at Loki, he gave you the best puppy eyes. ‘That might actually be a good way of teaching him.’

‘You can’t be serious?’ You asked Loki.

‘You trust me, right?’ Loki asked.

‘I do.’ You said quietly. ‘But that’s not the point.’

‘We will be respectful, darling. I will make sure that Thor behaves and does exactly as I tell him. It means you’ll get an orgasm or two out of it, too.’ He grinned cheekily. ‘I will personally guarantee it.’

You were already aroused and the thought that Loki would be involved was rather exciting, too exciting to pass on…

‘Ok…’

‘We won’t if you aren’t comfortable with it, love.’ Loki said softly and put his hand on top of yours.

‘No, it’s fine… I just uh, it’s been a while.’ You said shyly.

Loki took the lead at first, taking your hand and standing you up. He smiled warmly at you, then with regret he looked at Thor and stepped back, hands behind his back.

You weren’t attracted to Thor at all, though he was a kind hearted person. He just wasn’t your type. Even less your type when his brutish hands grabbed your upper arms and he pulled you into him, forcing his mouth upon yours.

You pushed at his chest to try and get him to stop as you couldn’t breathe, his tongue almost all the way down your throat.

‘THOR!’ Loki hauled Thor off you. ‘Did you not listen to a word I said?’

Loki ran his hand down his face and moved over to you, rubbing your back. ‘Alright, love? Not too traumatised?’

‘I’m fine.’ You smiled at him.

‘Alright, why don’t we try and just show him the right way to pleasure you?’ Loki suggested.

‘If… If you think that will work.’ You nodded slowly in agreement.

‘You can just lift your dress up and take off your knickers, if you wish.’ Loki said.

‘Ok.’ You nodded and did as he suggested, glad you weren’t going to be completely naked.

Loki helped you onto the bed and gave your arm a reassuring squeeze. He sat down next to you and motioned for Thor to begin.

‘Let’s see what I’m working with first.’ Loki drawled, he didn’t hold out much hope though.

Thor grinned and moved onto the bed, he grabbed your legs and pushed them apart roughly. You looked at Loki uncertainly, he reached over and rubbed your shoulder.

Thor looked at your cunt and he just started rubbing his fingers over you, then poked and prodded to try and get his fingers in, not aiming for anywhere in particular.

‘Ow! Thor!’ You hissed at him and tried to move away, he was being far from careful.

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘You need to be gentle, Thor. Not hard.’

‘I was being gentle!’ Thor argued.

‘Clearly not!’ Loki yelled at him and he shoved Thor out of the way. He took your hand and helped you up off the bed.

‘I uh, don’t think this is the best idea.’ You laughed a bit.

‘No, you’re right. I think the master needs to show him how it’s done from the beginning.’ Loki said cockily as he moved his hands to your hips. ‘If I may?’ He asked softly as he pulled you into him.

‘Uhm… Ye… Yeah.’ You squeaked.

Loki grinned at your shyness and trailed his fingers down the side of your face, then cupped your chin as he leaned in to kiss you. His lips moulded with yours gently, moving in such a nice way.

You ended up wrapping your arms around his neck as you melted completely into him. Loki had just started using his tongue when Thor coughed, getting impatient.

But Loki ignored him and continued to slowly seduce you, even though you were already putty in his hands from the moment he just laid eyes on you. But when he did start to undress you, it was a whole new kind of seduction.

He was slow, gentle, passionate, doing just as he’d described before. Kissing all over you as he removed your clothes, paying extra attention to your neck and when you whined at a certain spot, he made sure to zone in on that area.

You completely forgot that Thor was there, watching. You were so wrapped up in Loki, it was like you were alone with him only.

Loki carefully lay you down on the bed underneath him, he took your hands and slowly raised them up above your head, leaving them there as he started his journey down. Kissing and licking on his way, he prized your thighs apart and when you felt his warm breath against you, you almost bucked him right off the bed.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms tightly around your thighs, keeping you in place as he dove in. His tongue was like the devil as he licked long strips up and down, never keeping over your clit for long. When he had you squirming and begging for more, he concentrated on your clit, running his tongue over it firmly. He brought a hand down and added two fingers into the mix, carefully twisting and curling them until he found the right spot that had you howling as you had your first orgasm.

Thor was watching wide eyed from the side, having never seen a woman get off like that. He was hard in his trousers, so was just stood there squeezing himself.

Loki smeared his lips against your inner thigh, kissing you gently, slowly pulling his fingers out of you. He crawled up your body, suckling on your nipples on the way, making you moan.

‘Clean my fingers, love.’ He growled as he pressed them against your lips.

You opened and took them into your mouth, swirling your tongue around his digits, tasting yourself on him.

‘Good girl.’ He hummed. You could feel his erection against your thigh, through his leather trousers.

Thor coughed, clearing his throat. ‘Can I try now?’ He asked, stepping closer to the bed.

‘NO!’ Both you and Loki said at the same time, shocking Thor.

Loki looked at you with a big grin, you bit your lower lip and smiled up at him.

‘Get out, Thor!’ Loki barked at him when Thor was just hovering like an annoying fly.

‘I thought this was my lesson!’ He whined.

‘Not anymore.’ Loki growled and glared at him.

As soon as Thor left, Loki’s attention was back on you. He cupped your face and leaned down to kiss you again. ‘Mmm, I don’t think I want to share you with anyone anymore, now I’ve had a taste of you.’ He growled over your lips.

‘I don’t want anyone else.’ You whispered, wrapping your arms around him.

He smiled widely and nuzzled his nose against yours.

‘There is uhm… still more to your scene that you described earlier?’ You asked with a smirk.

‘There is indeed.’ He growled and kissed you again.

[aquaaquila]

She was grounded, not banned from a ball. And if Ella is willing to do anything for those she loves as she states in "get your hands dirty", she would go to the ball regardless of the ban for Bridget's sake. There is a set up and there is a pay-off, it's just not as satisfying and you're looking at this point at stereotype of subverting expectations, where's satisfaction in that? Nothing new is happening because we are in the past. The very thing that is new is prank not happening and Bridget and Ella meeting two girls that soon will look like their daughters.

We're not supposed to witness the prank, we're supposed to prevent it long before it happens. We didn't came here to dance. And Chloe explains perfectly: without the book, the very prank that traumatised Brudget won't happen, so no point in wasting their time in the past anymore.

My bad, missed that part, got distracted + I already seen too many "Ella did it", so a force of habit. And Ella did hurt Bridget but once again, it was not the prank that was an issue. Bridget said herself "stupid I would forgive". Like seriously, no prank that ELLA would pull be anything serious as Ella would not hurt her best friend, and even if it do south, Ella would apologize profusely and Bridget would forgive as mistakes happen, even Bridget said she once mate gingerbread people that bite. So no, narratively it doesn't make sense since Ella is too close to bother doing harm to Bridget. The only way she hurt is by "abandoning" her which really can tie back to "must be home before midnight". Making a character act OOC to make plot work does not serve narrative. And mind you, Ella is kind, but not necessarily nice. There's a difference between the two and while Ella acts kindly towards Chloe in the past, she also does give her attitude due to Chloe's privilege, which isn't exactly "nice". So Chloe already has a reality check that morality isn't simple.

Honestly about no. ASTV still has clear lose threads whereas D4 achieved its initial goal. The point of the movie was to change the past and change the heart of Bridget. Consequences of such actions were not part of the narrative. If QoH remained unchanged, there would be zero payoff. If the future is however too different then there's also no real payoff. The movie ended with its objective, QoH remained sweet and that's what mattered to the plot.

Or maybe you expected something else?

It isn't. We didn't saw how Maleficent grew into a villain in the first film while arguing with her mother in spite of being told as such in Evil Like Me. We were never told how Mal figured out Hades is her dad. The characters have their lives outside of the movie and we as the fan base should have a chance to imagine what happens outside of the focus of the camera. Like seriously, we literally have Audrey singing in D3 "there's nothing to lose when you're lonely and friendless" and it's not as if we saw how exactly Audrey became friendless but saud motivation did reasonate with people because being alone can hurt a lot and Bridget was alone and bitter for 40 years. And said dance number also included VKs dancing along, in musicals you dance with anyone regardless who they are. Said number is introduction to the world through Bridget's rose-tinted glasses.

The movie was still released and for all we know that's all we have. As life sometimes is unfair and Disney likes to cancel nice things if they don't do right by the executives. The movie can be said is more complete because sequel just may not be guaranteed, so good the story at least has some resolution that Red achieved her goal of this movie.

Descendants: The Rise of Red is kind of a bizarre movie to talk about critically because, imo, it almost doesn't make sense to talk about it in the usual terms of good vs bad or enjoyable vs not enjoyable when the way more obvious tension is finished vs unfinished.

Because, more than any other movie I've ever seen, it does *not* read as a full movie. And I don't mean in a "this movie has a cliffhanger" kind of way. The Empire Strikes Back and Across the Spiderverse fit that description. They end on big dramatic cliffhangers that point to a resolution in the third installment.

But Rise of Red just sets all this stuff up and then...ends without concluding anything. It doesn't feel like the first movie in a trilogy (or duology). It feels like the first act of a two-act musical. It very specifically reminds me of the end of the first act of Into the Woods where all the main characters sing the song Ever After about how they all fixed their problems with magic and nothing bad will ever happen to them again and then the narrator ominously says "To be continued" before the curtain drops. But in Into the Woods you know there's a second act and this movie wasn't sold as the first act of a bigger story. Like sure, it has the, "You didn't think this was the end" tag at the end like all the other movies, but those movies were complete, self-contained stories even though they had sequels. This was NOT a full story. It's half of one story.

Like, if we're supposed to take this as a full story, there are so many bizarre choices:

Why did they make sure to mention that Cinderella and Charming fell in love at the ball at the top if it wasn't meant to set up Back to the Future style, "Oh no, I accidentally got my mom banned from the ball so she's not gonna fall in love with Dad and I won't be born" shenanigans?

Why did Maddox very pointedly have that bit about "you could lose your mom completely" if that was never going to come into play? Red never did anything to endanger Bridget or endanger her own birth so it doesn't make sense as a warning in that way.

Why was there all this focus on this Carrie on prom night moment for Bridget if we LITERALLY NEVER SAW CASTLECOMING? Why dance around this moment and talk about it all cloak and dagger with no specificity if they weren't building up to some big reveal that it wasn't as straightforward as it seemed? And like, they leaned in HARD with making Bridget the nicest, sweetest, cotton candy princess as a teen so I need WAY more than, "She got pranked by known bullies she's been enduring with a smile very handily up to this point" to buy that she went from that to "murderous dictator". And even if she did become murderous, I find it insanely hard to believe that she'd include her best and only friend on the list of people she wants to suffer unless there was a betrayal. I find it INSANE that there wasn't a falling out scene at any point in this movie with how thickly they were laying on the admiration and camaraderie.

(Note: And adult Cinderella def has guilty vibes re: the Queen at orientation. Which I know I'm not imagining because it's literally spelled out in the Jr Novelization!)

Before the time travel element of the movie started, I thought they were going for something like they go to the past and realize that Bridget was bullied not by the VKs but by the spoiled royals, and Ella ends up joining in the bullying once she gets with Charming, betraying Bridget and justifying her whole "Love Ain't It" philosophy. Or Ella ditching her at the last minute to be with Charming meaning she has to deal with the monster prank alone and it was the being alone rather than the prank itself that hurt her (though that is NOT a good enough reason to go all off with their heads on your subjects). The fact that, as far as we know right now, it literally was just a relatively mild and reversible prank that caused all of this is just, such flat storytelling, you know?

But! All of this makes way more sense if this is meant to be the first act of a single contained story. And I don't wanna be all "Pepe Silvia, secret good 4th episode of Sherlock" about this but I did see this picture:

Which seems to indicate that this was written as a Part One. Which, if so, idk why they wouldn't advertise it that way but whatever. The point is, if that's the case then it means that we're potentially in bad pacing territory rather than straight up bad storytelling territory. Because this isn't a bad place to be halfway through your story:

The heroes, warned that time travel is dangerous, have gone back in time to change the heart of a brutal tyrant before she can stage a coup. They seemingly succeed in their mission and when they come home, everything is great! But then, the side effects of time travel start to catch up with them. Chloe realizes that, in breaking the vase, she prevented her mother from going to the ball and falling in love with her dad (who was conspicuously absent from the final scene btw) which means she's starting to be forgotten and erased from the timeline. And Red realizes that though this new version of her mom is as sweet and kind as the teen she once met, she's a complete stranger to her (fulfilling the Hatter's warning that she could lose her mom completely). So they have to go back in time once more to make sure the Ella and Charming fall in love again, perhaps at the cost of whatever bad thing that happened to Bridget happening again and bringing back the original version of her future self. But, now with more context of how her mom became that way, Red can now talk to her mother and persuade her to give people another chance.

Boom, that gives us time to go back and hit everything we haven't yet hit. We can pay off the time travel tropes that were set up but not explored. We can go to Castlecoming which feels so obviously set up to be the centerpiece of this story (like, come on, Back to the Future literally does the school dance thing. This is Time Travel Storytelling 101). We can actually get info about what the prank was and why it affected Bridget so completely.

(Note: This is a side thing but it really strikes me as so crazy that Bridget would so SUCH a big 180 here. Like, I know the Queen of Hearts is a silly, goofy, campy villain, but she straight up murders people and there's no way to get around that if we're taking her out of the surreal story she comes from and putting her in a (comparatively) grounded story. If I wasn't doing a betrayal plot, I would make the twist that the spell that turned Bridget into a "monster" didn't just have a physical effect, it had a mental effect and it magically twisted her personality to be the way it is now. So they broke the physical half of the curse, but neglected the other half and it's been festering the whole time, turning her as evil as she was sweet. Because like, a simple physical transformation isn't that big of a deal to have such heavy security--Bridget made cupcakes with a transformative effect and that was totally fine. I'm not saying that that's what's gonna be the case. I just think it would be an explanation that makes sense for why she changed so crazy much that makes more sense than a simple prank or even a betrayal. Her mom wasn't even evil! How did she go from zero to murder without even an evil mom to push her onto the path? But I'm super digressing right now.)

(Note #2: OK, one last thing. The trap on the book presumably would have hit the VK's and trapped them in Merlin's office regardless of what Chloe and Red did, right? That's like, net zero influence on the timeline. I genuinely can't tell if that's a straight up plot hole or set up to be like, "Oh no. Actually when she said that she was turned into a monster in front of everyone it was meant in a less literal way." Like she was just made to look bad and that was the real thing that pushed her over the edge. Like idk. It really feels like the only thing they really did that would change the timeline was get Ella banned from the dance and presumably out of the way where she couldn't hurt Bridget. OK NOW I'm done.)

Anyway, my point is that this is not how I would have structured my movie and I think this was a super weird way to go into the second era of Descendants movies, but they can still tell a complete story if that's their plan. I'm genuinely really curious to see if this pans out to be a fairly competently told story that just happens to be split over two movies or a complete fumbling of the narrative bag because it could really be either at this point and it's fascinating to me.

[tartagilicious]

the dangerous fellows boys and an mc that takes care of their younger sibling during the apocalypse

long title but fun concept ! it’s been a while since I’ve played, but I hope everything is correct  — that said, this also contains spoilers 💃 requested by @sydisticsyd​ 

* just a reminder, I don’t normally take df requests! I’ve moved on from the game, and this was a special case where I wanted to do something nice. ty <3

Ethan: 

- There’s a long-running headcanon that he has younger siblings — most notably a sister if I’m remembering right, so in this case, so will you! 

- when he saves you from a zombie in that convenience store the first time he meets you, the last thing he expects is for you to push a smaller child into his arms as you run.

- he immediately recognises her as your sister by the similar features you share, but her assumed age throws him off. looking around 5, she behaves extremely well under pressure, though that he can at least wrap his head around more than the fact that you’ve been holding out all of this time. 

- his own instinct as an older brother makes him more defensive towards Scarlett and her absolute need to send you away. Scarlett doesn’t care much about Ethan’s opposition, obviously, but he does all he can.

- your shared affinity for family made it easy for you to bond from then on. you became a duo that worked well and stuck together, all while of course looking after your sister, who had begun to trust Ethan as if he really was her brother. 

Harry: 

- As an only child with problems at home, seeing such an obviously strong bond between you and your sibling warms his heart. even seeing you interact makes him incredibly happy

- He fights Scarlett 10x harder knowing that there are two lives on the line, and Scarlett, while mean, is not heartless — his point of views appeal to her. But, it’s arguably solely him that gets her on your side

- You grow close naturally after he stands up for you for fervently, and you really appreciate how gentle he is with your sister. in the middle of an apocalypse, you naturally have to be wary of any other survivors around her. 

- He willingly gives up parts of his own rations to make sure she’s full every meal, and keeps her entertained to the best of his ability. In a way, it’s his way of having the company he never got? plus, he totally loves kids and you can’t tell me otherwise lol

Eugene: 

- Probably hates kids tbh, but!! he’s not heartless. they rescued you both from being killed by zombies, and they’ll keep you safe. That’s basically a given, especially when there’s a kid at your side.

- The last thing Eugene wants is to see the poor girl more traumatised than she probably already is, after all.

- he’s not amazing with kids so he won’t exactly go out of his way to be nice, or spend time with them, but being close to you means it’s a sacrifice he has to make I guess?? I think he’d do it. I can imagine that your sister notices his reluctance though lolol

- regardless, they’d become quite close as time goes on ! in an environment like that, it would really help to limit rocky relationships. plus, you can’t tell me that the boy wouldn’t get a little bit attached to you both after a while-

- Eugene’s like a doting older brother when it comes to her, all while retaining his signature tsundere vibe with everyone but you. they have a handshake and she likes to ride on his shoulders !!

Zion: 

- before you come along, he basically hates everything and trusts no one 😭 but even the big brood cares about how a kid sees him. he’s a bit sympathetic to your younger brother (in this case) because while he himself may have not had a great childhood, he can barely imagine living through an apocalypse at such a formative age.

- the issue of you being cast aside once you’re rescued is pretty much non-existent, what with Zion’s views and Scarlett’s suck-up ways. No one can really argue once she’s put in her place by the only person she listens to, after all.

- he’d honestly try his hardest from the get-go to be there for your brother, of course with your support and all of that. I can imagine he’d be a little shy to ask this to you, someone who’s essentially a stranger, but you’d both come to appreciate it.

- Zion is actually surprisingly good with kids. he’d find ways to keep your brother entertained that are still apocalypse friendly, to the point where your brother would be almost glued to his side — though, it’s situational if that would bother you, really. 

- if your brother wanted to room with Zion, he would totally give up his blanket for the kid 😭💕 maybe even let him read some of the comics he stole from the library?

Lawrence:

- shit, can he kill with a child around? 🤔 much to think about. and would he have to eventually kill your brother too?? maybe he’s in over his head.

- no but I really do think that if you as a player had a younger sibling by your side over being alone,,, it would lessen the chances of Lawrence deciding to go absolutely insane. he has to respect the child, and also your inborn wish for your brother to stay alive lol

- Lawrence is kind of shaken by the development, but he would definitely try his best to get close to him while he can, though. of course, all while being kind and supportive and being loose on particular rules with him so he gets a good impression in

- but kids are perceptive when they want to be, so don’t tell me that your brother wouldn’t get bad vibes from Lawrence even after all that stuff 😐 he would know right after Judy disappears that Lawrence is up to some sneaky shit

- an extra candy bar and fake sweetness won’t pass him lol

- would Lawrence think about killing your brother if he were in fact that smart? no. it would be a liability, but the entire point if his killing spree in the first place is to keep you with him. there’s no way you’d ever want anything to do with him if he killed one of the only people you have left. and even if he did manage to pull that off, it’d arguably make you more miserable than when he kills all your friends

[julia-highstorms]

Toilet paper (Bryce x Rei (F!MC))

Summary: Being in a relationship isn't always a bed of roses… And every couple will eventually fight here and there. And sometimes over the most stupid thing.

Author's note: flash forward to a while after the end of Book 3, when Bryce and Rei are living together. If you’d like to read more about Bryce and Rei, just click here!

Disclaimer: This is a piece of fiction. Characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, not me.

Rating: PG- 13

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x Rei Sato (F!MC)

Word count: +1.3K

__________________________

Rei Sato and Bryce Lahela were living together.

Things happened naturally. They both have had their eyes on each other since that very first day of their intern year. Bryce was always there to support Rei and she did the same when Keiki showed up during their second year. After his younger sister enrolled in a boarding school, and feeling inspired and overwhelmed by Ines's weddin, they finally confessed to each other in Hawaii and started dating officially (although all of their friends considered that they'd been dating way before it). And after Rei's third and final year of internal medicine residency - and they have finally said those three words to each other -, Bryce invited his girlfriend to move in with him, especially because she would end up spending the night at his house more and more often after they had started dating (not that he minded. Not at all. In fact, he liked it a lot). Plus, Rei's roommates were always around and sometimes they both wanted a bit more of privacy, not having to worry if any of her friends would enter her room right in the middle of their doing the do (poor Elijah, Bryce was pretty sure that his friend would be forever traumatised for seeing his junk)... and that was how they decided to live together.

Now Rei Sato was a member of The Diagnostics Team - not that she wasn’t one before, but not as a resident anymore -, and Bryce Lahela extended his residency to specialize in Cardiothoracic Surgery. They'd been living together for half a year now.

Of course that living together was challenging. Like, Bryce usually left a pile of dishes to wash, sometimes leaving it piling up for days - how could he live in that state? Why not wash it after using it? -, while Rei would clean up the dishes while still cooking. Or how Rei ironed her clothes whatever, leaving Bryce fuming. There was a right way to iron clothes, for God's sake.

But there was one thing in particular that was the main cause of their fights. Rei just could not let it go.

"Hell no, we aren't starting this fight again." - Bryce groaned as he left the bathroom after a morning shower, Rei close to his heels, already fully dressed and ready to work.

"Hell yes, we're fighting over this. We'll fight about it until the day you understand." - she raised her hand, holding an empty toilet paper roll, and practically shoved it to her boyfriend's face. - "Why can't you understand, Bryce? Why do you always leave an empty toilet paper roll instead of replacing it for a new one?!"

He rolled his eyes, while buttoning up his shirt.

"The next person who comes in can replace it."

"And that next person is me."

"No! It can be either you or me." - he said exasperatedly, finishing dressing up.

"Bryce, it takes two seconds to replace it. You pick a new roll in the cabinet and replace it. Two seconds."

"Well, can't you do it the next time you use the bathroom?"

"A-ha! So you are expecting me to replace it." - she pointed to herself before throwing her hands up in the air. - "I knew it."

"No, I meant the next person!"

"But why does it have to be the next person if you're the one who last used it?!"

He picked the car keys and they left the apartment, ignoring Tequila, a four year-old rescue black and white dog they adopted little after they moved in together. She happily followed them to the main hall, only to have the door closed right in her muzzle.

They kept on arguing all their way to the hospital, only finally changing the subject as they entered Edenbrook.

"I have a long surgery today. Might be back late."

"Okay. But I won't replace the empty toilet paper roll."

"Suit yourself."

And then, each of them went their own ways. Rei met Ethan and Tobias already there at the diagnostics team room.

"Hey, Rei! Look who has come to visit us today. Our super busy and highly important Chief of Medicine." - Tobias bowed a smirk playing on the corner of his lips, teasing his friend, who only ignored him. 

"Good morning, Rei. What's with this scowl?" - Ethan asked. It was impossible to not notice the giant pout in the young doctor's face.

"Have you fought with your boyfriend? That scalpel jockey?" - Tobias joked around, but Rei informed him that he was absolutely right.

"That's news. I didn't know you two fought." - they always looked lovey-dovey whenever he saw them together.

"C'mon Ethan, every couple fights. Even you and Harper used to argue. But what was it about, Sato? It looks serious."

And then she told them what happened that morning.

"So… you're fighting because of… toilet paper?" - Ethan was able to keep his face straight, although he felt like laughing. That was so stupid. 

"UGH, I GET YOU, REI!" - Tobias, on the other hand, knew exactly what Rei was talking about. - "IT'S SO IRRITATING!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?! I mean, I can't understand why he can't simply replace it if he is the one who finished it!"

"Yeah! It's like an untold rule that the last person replaces it. I used to argue with my sisters whenever they left the toilet paper roll empty. It's empty, why would you let it there? Just change it already."

"Exactly! I know I shouldn't get so pissed at it, but it's been six months and he keeps on doing this. And this isn't the first time we argue about this specific subject."

"No, you're right, Rei. You have to put him in his place. Tell him how it is." - Tobias nodded.

"I'm glad to know someone gets me. I was starting to think I had a problem."

"Nah, you're good, kid. It's common sense that, you empty it, you replace it."

"I'm sorry, I think I don't get the gravity of this situation... it's just toilet paper." - Ethan finally said something, but Tobias and Rei immediately glared at him. - "What? Someone will replace it eventually."

"Looks like we have another one who doesn't replace the empty toilet paper roll." - Tobias concluded, shaking his head in disapproval.

__________________________

Later that night, when Bryce finally arrived at home, Rei had just finished eating. She heard him greeting Tequila when the dog ran to the door to welcome him back after a long day.

"Good day?" - she asked, washing the dishes. He kissed her temple.

"Good day! The surgery was a success, but that isn't any news. Yours?"

"It was good too.”

"Great! I'll take a shower first before eating." - he said this and strided to the bathroom.

A few minutes later, Rei heard her boyfriend calling out for her. When she entered the bathroom, Bryce looked like a little boy, ashamed of himself.

"Uh, can you pick a new toilet paper roll for me, please?"

She handed it to him, a cocky smirk playing on her lips.

"I told you." - she simply stated, resting against the doorframe.

"Yeah, I see your point. The last person who uses it, replaces the roll. Fair."

And then, after a whole day fighting - Bryce Lahela finally replaced the empty toilet paper roll for a new one. Rei was feeling victorious… but then, she noticed something.

She looked closer, her smile twisting in a frown.

"No, it goes over, Bryce."

"What?"

"Toilet paper is dispensed from the top, so it's easier to pick it. It's even printed this way so you can see it."

"No, it goes under so Tequila won't get at it."

"What? This makes no sense. That's literally the stupidest thing you've ever said. Why would she play with freaking toilet paper?" - at this moment, Tequila showed up, after hearing her name. They both looked at her smiling puffy face. - "If Tequila enters here, she'll go straight to the toilet vase, not the paper." 

"Well, you say this because you never saw her munching on it. But I saw it. So, it goes under."

"Oh no, we aren't starting this again." - Rei rolled her eyes.

But it was too late. They had already started it.

__________________________

Tag: @nyastarlight @endlessflame @awkwardalbatros @choicesarehard @strangelycami @stillafictosexual @queen-kass-the-writer @indiacater @worldofchoices9-blog @radlovedreamer @fairydustandsarcasm @choicesthot @blackreddish @fluffywhitehair @weavingfractals @eileendannie @hellooliviaolivia  @lahelable  @bucket-harrington @god-save-the-keen @choices97  @allthatglitters2020 @thequeenofpixels @hellomynameisdevi @dreaming-of-movies @maria-lahela @zodiacsign1 @omgjasminesimone @miss-raleigh-carrera @lahellacute @brycesgirl  @raleighcarrera @simsvetements @wolverinesbeer @virtuallytakenby @anotherbeingsworld @teenytinytanya08 @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl @sitsoncornflake @jamesashtonisbae @cashweasel @kelseaaa  @eleanorbloom @freckles-spangledvampire  @choicesficwriterscreations (if you would like to be tagged in (or out of!) upcoming Bryce x MC fanfics/fanarts, please let me know!)

[nicelytousled]

What's the deal with Copley’s sociogram at the end of The Old Guard?

”Maybe this is the why, Andy.”

@ssungods​ made this post about Copley’s sociogram (his big board on how the team are related to important people and events) and it inspired a bunch of thoughts about moral ethics and what I’d like to be explored in the next film so here we go.

There’s two ways to interpret Nile saying “Maybe this is the why, Andy”:

She could be suggesting the sociogram potentially explains why they’re immortal

or that the sociogram explains why exactly they should keep doing what they’re doing, using their immortality to help people 

The first suggestion is a whole other can of worms, I’m gonna be talking about the second. 

It’s been a couple years since I actually studied moral philosophy, so forgive me in advance as I gloss over some details in the theory, but I think The Old Guard serves as a perfect springboard for the deontological vs teleological ethical debate. 

When Copley is showing Nile his sociogram and states “Two, three generations later we reap the benefits" it stands in pretty stark contrast to earlier in the film when Nicky argues "We did it right, Andy. For the right reasons.” This tension between the idea that moral acts should be determined as good or bad by a person's intentions (deontology) vs the idea that moral acts should be determined as good or bad by the consequences of a person's actions (teleology) is in my opinion a core part of the film. 

Most obviously the deontology vs teleology dilemma shows up in Merrick’s lab, where he and his scientists determine that the team's suffering is justifiable because of the potential outcome of a medical breakthrough (and the money that would come with it) but this tension is also seen in smaller nooks and crannies, and shines when the character contrast one another.  

Copley is maybe the most grounded in his moral stance. He’s in awe of the positive ripple effect the team have had on human history and is convinced, partly due to the loss of his wife, that it’s the consequences of an action that determine its moral weight. 

Joe and Nicky seem to represent the other end of the spectrum, Nicky repeatedly shares the sentiment that we often have less control over the consequences of our actions than we think (“like destiny”) and that it’s “fighting for what we think is right” that matters above all else. In the lab Joe is seemingly more hurt by Booker’s selfishness than the physical torture he and Nicky have been put through, hurt by the act of betrayal more that its immediate consequences. This makes sense to me for them as I think recognition of good intent is potentially how Joe and Nicky made peace with one another, and it ties into a lot of religious values too, such as that of duty and forgiveness. 

Both Andy and Booker are pretty lost in comparison. Andy is bearing the guilt of not being able to find Quynh, and is struggling to find her place in a world that's not necessarily getting worse like she claims, but rather is rapidly changing, it’s moral dilemmas changing alongside it in a way she can’t keep up with. (”We’ve done nothing. The world isn’t getting any better. It’s getting worse.”) Booker is still grieving, feeling more cursed with immortality than gifted as he couldn’t use it to save the people he loved, couldn’t use it in a way that really mattered to him personally. They can’t see the wood for the trees, and for them it’s less of a question of intent vs consequence, but rather whether any of it even matters in the first place when it feels like they’re just treading water. 

Nile is different again. She's certain of the value of individual agency, both for others and herself, determined that it should be up to them to share the secret of their immortality for science, that it’s their gift to give. She also argues for her own agency so she can return to her family, which gains her Andy’s respect. However, in contrast to the rest of the team, Nile lacks the moral perspective that living an unnaturally long life brings. Both as a young woman and as a US Marine, at the start of the film her morality is pretty black and white (”So are you good guys or bad guys?”). She’s not lost in the way Andy and Booker are because she’s not yet experienced what there is to be lost in, and she’s still learning what it means to manage the new sense of morality that comes with immortality. 

Copley’s sociogram raises the question about what exactly should be motivating the team to do what they do. Should the team keep intervening in conflicts because of the pattern of positive future consequences their actions result in, or because reducing suffering is the right thing to strive for, despite whatever the people they’ve helped go on to do?  As @ssungods​ points out, “lives aren’t just the potential they have, they have inherent worth on their own.” Copley and his sociogram very much imply that what the team do is good because of the potential of the people they might save, rather than because the people they protect from suffering have innate worth and should be helped no matter who they become in future.

In my opinion, in isolation neither perspective is good enough to sustain motivation. Both deontology and teleology are flawed ethical theories. They’re both open to criticism and between the two (and all the more specific theories under their respective umbrellas) neither provide a satisfactory or complete answer as to what makes a morally good action, and in turn neither provide sustainable motivation to keep doing good things. It’s also not black and white, the line between valuing intent and valuing consequence often blurring. 

Arguably, the only thing the team have left as motivation to keep going is the belief that one way or another they’re doing the right thing. When you’re not tied down to anything like a place or a job, and your ragtag found family can’t fill the hole in your heart that was made when you were forced to sacrifice life as you knew it to your immortality, no matter how much you love them (as evident with Booker), the only thing you have left is the belief you’re at least doing something good with your long, long life, whether that good is trying to do everything you do with the right intentions or laying the foundations for future positive events, or potentially both.  

I think having a variety of moral perspectives within a team of characters faced with a lot of moral dilemmas is key to the plot of The Old Guard, and in a sequel I’d love to see it explored more deeply. It’s self-belief that Andy and Booker lost sight of, and I think Nile’s character has the potential to both restore this belief and bring more harmony to everyone’s differing moral perspectives, as she had already started to do by the end of the film. This in conflict with a traumatised Quynh seeking revenge would make for one hell of a sequel.

Sadly there's only so much they can do in two hours and I’m not really expecting a sequel it to get That Deep about it, but nonetheless very interesting to think about!

[i-demand-a-hug]

So, let’s talk about Akiren, our friendly neighbourhood phantom thief. He’s a silent protagonist, but also he’s kind of traumatised and is incapable of being vulnerable with his dearest friends. More than that, it’s as if he doesn’t want to burden his friends, even if it’s just with his feelings.

The most important part of his backstory is him being falsely accused of assault. It’s the reason he’s in Tokyo, the reason he has a terrible reputation. It’s clear he only brings up this incident when prompted, and he doesn’t go into how he feels about it beyond “Yeah that sucked” even though it was clearly emotionally taxing. His memories of that incident are blurry, he feels dizzy when he hears Shido’s voice, and even though he admits it sounds like the same man from that night it still takes hearing him multiple times before he really recognises him. It’s trauma, pure and simple.

A moment I think about a lot is from Yoshida’s confidant. There’s a point where Yoshida says “You must’ve experienced cruelty and justice in this life. I can tell by the look in your eye. (...) Would you care to... talk about it?” and one of Akiren’s first possible responses is “What good would that do?” A very blunt response. He doesn’t want to talk about it. He doesn’t see the point in talking about it. He’s sad and angry but He. Won’t. Talk about it.

You could argue Proof of Justice is similar. When Ren starts thinking about Akechi after his death, he doesn’t consult his friends. He goes out alone, and ends up crying and mourning Akechi alone, and I bet he doesn’t tell anyone about this afterwards either. He won’t let anyone see that side of him.

Next up, let’s check out the Mementos Mission manga. In chapter six, Ren has to give info to the police as a witness to Asakura’s poisoning by himself. Unfortunately, he’s also got to deal with the police being rude to him about his history.

He’s clearly uncomfortable being judged like this, but he just keeps his head down and takes it. It’s like he’s just accepted it. You’d think, “Oh but Ren can talk to his friends later, he can vent and then they can complain together about how awful those police officers were!” Except, this is the next time we see Ren:

He’s smiling like nothing’s wrong, like he didn’t have to go through something horrible. He’s back to being the leader who everyone can rely on. Back to hiding sad feelings.

This time I want to talk about an anthology story, called “The Curry’s Secret And The Treasure That Joker Can’t Steal.” This story was drawn by Rokuro Saito, same as Mementos Mission (I swear Saito is a godsend).

In this story, Morgana lunges at Ren for being ignored, which leads to Ren knocking over a pot of curry and nearly smashing a special coffee cup. Sojiro is super mad. Ren doesn’t want to admit it was Morgana’s fault, since Sojiro might throw Morgana out, so he stays silent but that just makes Sojiro angrier.

Later, Ann asks him why Ren doesn’t just explain what really happened. She says that it Ren was honest about it then there wouldn’t have been a misunderstanding. Ren’s response is... kind of chilling.

He gets such a dead look in his eye. He’s already accepted that he won’t be believed and there’s no point in saying anything. That trauma’s shining through once again.

In the end, the situation is only resolved because Ann, Ryuji, and Yusuke got together to tell Sojiro what really happened. And Ren seems so happy, like it never occured to him his friends would want to stand up for him.

There are many other examples I could use, like Akiren has to turn himself in towards the end and he just thinks “Oh this way I can protect my friends. But I’m not going to tell any of them I’m turning myself in and essentially repeating my trauma of being arrested.” I love him, but I think he could really benefit from expressing his real emotions some more. (Maybe that’s why Expression isn’t one of the protagonist’s social stats in this game...)

I think I got off topic. Anyway, Akiren is a master of bottling his emotions and he needs a hug.

[topazy]

Silent bloom

Pairing:Finn Collins/reader

Chapter: 1.02

The guilt was eating you up inside. You should have gone. Anybody with working brain cells knew that letting Monty and Jasper wander off on earth was a death wish waiting to happen. Octavia was almost killed by some kind of sea creature, and grounders had speared Jasper.

Monty was traumatised. Finn was now shuffling around you. He seemed nervous. Clarke and Bellamy were wasting time arguing about taking their wristbands off, and what was going to take place with the people on the ark. You didn’t want people to die, but you also didn’t care at that moment in time. Eventually, it all becomes too much for you.

"Cut it out!" You snapped standing up, earning a few surprised looks. "The only thing that matters right now is finding Jasper! Bellamy, stop moaning. You’re coming with us and that’s the end of it."

"Excuse me?" He asked, in a tone you imagine he thought was intimidating.

You walked closer to him. "You want to lead? Then they lead. You’re the only person here with a gun, and those kids out there won’t follow you unless you give them a reason to."

"She’s right." Clarke chimed in. "Because you want them to follow you and right now they're thinking only one of us is scared."

"Fine." He huffed.

"Good. Now let’s go." You walked towards the gate when you felt a familiar presence by your side. "Not now, Finn. I need to find Jasper. We can talk when I get back."

"Y/N?"

‘Y/N’, not Daisy or Daze.

You turned to face him, surprised at how close he was standing behind you. "Yes?"

"Be safe."

You just nodded before walking towards the gates again. You just prayed it wasn’t too late for Jasper.

—

"So how did you earn the nickname angel eyes?"

You rolled your eyes at the ridiculous question. "The only person who calls me that is you, Murphy."

You have decided to split off into groups to search for more ground faster. Finn went off with Clarke, while Bellamy trailed behind with Wells, leaving you with Murphy. You didn’t mind Murphy on a personal level. Sure, he was a little annoying at times, but the problem was he was absolutely useless at helping.

He grinned, "How did you get the scar?"

"Fist fight in a bar. You should have seen the other guy." He laughed at your terribly sarcastic answer. "I fell and cut it."

"Can you see clearly out of it?" He asked, standing closer to you.

"Yes, and I know what you are doing!" You snatched your wrist back laughing. Murphy just shrugged. He was trying to distract you so he could get close enough to take your wristband off. "I’m not giving it to you, so you and your little king can stop trying."

You jumped at the grunting noise coming from behind you. You turned to see Bellamy glaring at you. He didn’t look impressed with your comment.

"Did you hear that?" Wells asked. The four of you stopped walking and stood in silence until you heard it again. "It sounds like a moaning pain."

"Jasper!" You gasped before running in the direction of the noise. "He’s over here!"

"Y/N wait!"

You didn’t listen to what Wells was shouting and stepped forward, launching into a pit. You grabbed onto the long grass and vines to stop yourself from landing on the spears below. Bellamy was the first one to arrive. "Help me up!" You screamed as he looked at you with no emotion.

"Y/N? Bellamy pull her up!" Finn yelled as he grabbed hold of your arm, before Clarke and Murphy helped him drag you up.

You landed on top of Finn before quickly rolling off him. You lay panting on the ground while glaring at Bellamy. "What the fuck was that about?! You almost got me killed!"

Clarke shook her head and stepped forward before Bellamy could reply. "This isn’t going to help. The grounders are setting traps to catch us. We all need to be more careful."

"Whatever." You huffed, standing up, brushing the grass off your body. "I’m going to get him down. Who’s helping?"

Murphy and Finn both helped you cut Jasper down, while Bellamy stood by and did nothing, again.

"What was that?" You heard Clarke ask, as a growling noise got closer. A large animal appeared and leaped towards them. "Shot it!"

You watched Bellamy fumble at his sides, looking for his gun before you heard the shots. Wells shot the creature right before it reached them.

Bellamy looked at him in disbelief. "Now she sees you."

—

When you arrived back at the camp, you, Finn, and Wells rushed Jasper into the drop-ship so Clarke could start treating him. While Bellamy and Murphy brought the large cat in with them, earning cheers and praise from the other delinquents.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asked, pointing towards your wrist. You hadn’t realized it was bleeding.

"I’m fine, thanks. I can clean it while you focus on Jasper." You smiled softly. The blonde wasn’t your favorite person, but at least she was trying.

Later that night, the camp celebrated being ‘liberated’ by the fire. You didn’t eat meat, so you didn’t feel the need to participate.

"Aren’t you hungry?" You turned to see a young girl sitting down next to you.

"I’m not hungry. Did you get plenty to eat though?" She nodded. "What is your name?"

"Charlotte, is your name Daze?" She asked curiously.

You let out a chuckle. "My name is Y/N, but you can call me Daze or Daisy. It’s what I usually go by."

Charlotte smiled at you, and the two of you began chatting about how beautiful the earth was, until you heard a commotion on the other side of the fire. You looked across to see Finn taking meat for him and Clarke. Obviously, he got one for her. She hadn’t seen Finn this smitten with someone apart from Raven.

Thinking about you had nobody on the ark, you didn’t care if they thought you were alive or dead. The only people you cared about were already on the ground. Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the young girl's stomach rumbling. You turned to Charlotte, "stay here, I’ll be back shortly."

You could feel multiple sets of eyes on you as you walked to the other side of the fire pit. Bellamy was glaring at you, while Finn and Clarke watched you with confused expressions.

"Hey, John?" You said, stepping towards Murphy, who frowned at being called his first name.

"What?"

You held your wrist up, "fancy freeing me?"

You both shared a smirk as Murphy twiddled his knife as he walked towards you, amused. "Anything for angel eyes."

You felt the smooth coldness of the blade between your skin and the bracelet. It nipped for a second before holding it in front of you proudly. Taking it from him, you tossed it into the fire before accepting a stick of meat.

"What did you just do?" Clarke asked, walking up behind you. "You know that the ark..."

You sighed, stopping in your place. "Clarke, no offence, but I don’t want to hear about how defenseless the ark is right now."

As you tried to walk away, Finn stepped in front of you, "You’re vegetarian."

"Yes, I am aware of that. Now if you don’t mind, can you move out of my way?" You said calmly, trying not to show how irritated you had become.

"Then tell me, why did you take it off?" Finn demanded, ignoring what you had said previously.

"Some of us don’t want to get punched in the face," you answered, glancing at Bellamy, who was watching the interaction between you, Finn, and Clarke. "Plus, it was hurting my cut wrist."

Finn still didn’t move. You walked around him and back towards Charlotte. You gave the stick of food to the young girl who reluctantly accepted it.

Season one

[sneakydraws]

Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool  I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance.  11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance  The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword?