#but then yesterday he was outside on break smoke a cig

[lorileopard]

Thank you Gas Station Guy for the free chips

[moonstruckme]

Thawing Out

collab with @ellecdc

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12

cw: modern au, chronic pain, mention of Sirus' family but no talk of abuse, some talk of traumatic injury

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words

Sirius hates the cold. It makes him look ill, his nose always runs, and he does not have a head made for hats. 

The walk to the rink yesterday was bad, with the chill and the early hour and the dark mood that seemed to permeate him like it infused his very blood, but you made it better by being yourself. He suspects you might have even been going out of your way to be sweeter than usual, given that you knew it was the anniversary of the day Sirius ran away from his family’s home. You’d tried to cheer him up. Still, yesterday was bad.

Today is worse. 

You’re silent as you stalk down the sidewalk, one boy on either side of you. You said hello to both him and Remus as you stepped out the door of your apartment, and then that was it. If it were Sirius it might make sense, but you always have an unnatural amount of energy in the mornings. Obviously you’re not speaking to him. And Sirius is still upset about the addition of the death spiral to your routine, so he’s not speaking to Remus. And Remus is hardly one to spark up conversation during an uncomfortable silence, so that just makes the three of you a very sullen, very silent procession to your early fucking morning practice. 

Except when you arrive, the rink is already bustling. You take one step inside before going back out the door, forcing both boys back outside with you.

“What the fuck?” Remus tries to peer inside. For once, Sirius agrees with him. “Who’s taken our slot?”

“I don’t know,” you say, but you’re still standing in front of the door like you’re barring their entry. “I’m going to go find out. You guys stay here.” 

“Why?” Sirius asks.

Even when you look at him you’re not really looking at him, your eyes distant. If you’re trying to make him feel like shit, it’s working. “Because I don’t need either of you going in there to bite someone’s head off. I’ve got it.” 

With that, you slip inside, not giving either of them a chance to argue. Sirius supposes he could go after you anyway, but you seem like you’d bite his head off, and he’s hurting enough from the cold without that extra ailment to contend with. He pulls out a cigarette instead. 

“You really shouldn’t do that,” Remus hums, but when Sirius looks over the other boy is lighting up too, a cig dangling from the corner of his mouth. When he sees Sirius struggling with his lighter, his fingers frozen and clumsy, he rolls his eyes and steps closer. 

Sirius goes still as Remus cups a hand around his cigarette, lithe fingers an inch from his mouth. The lighter rasps once, and the warmth next to Sirius’ face is a welcome sensation. When Remus steps away Sirius straightens his shoulders, expression carefully impassive as he inhales. He doesn’t thank him. 

“She’ll have your ass for doing it, too,” he says. 

Remus lifts a brow, blowing smoke out one corner of his mouth. “Why? I don’t need my lungs for anything.” 

Sirius shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. She thinks she should be in charge of the whole world.” 

A soft chuckle. Remus looks out to where the sun will rise in a few hours, the sky still a sweet blue. “Maybe she should be.” 

Sirius can’t help a little smile at that. He takes comfort only in knowing Remus doesn’t see. “Don’t let her hear you say that.” 

They lapse into a brief silence, easier and more contented than Sirius would have thought possible between the two of them. It breaks only when you come bustling back out the doors. 

“Okay, so apparently—” You stop, looking between them both. “Guys. Seriously?” 

“What?” Remus asks, but Sirius knows better, dropping his cigarette and stamping it out. 

Your gaze flicks over him, almost approving but still a far cry from friendly. He swears your mouth wants to smile at him, only you’re not letting it. 

“Those are so bad for you,” you tell Remus. 

He levels you with a dry look, the brave bastard. “What does it matter? I’m not an athlete.” 

You wince but don’t back down. “Athletes aren’t the only ones with reason to live past fifty.” You give him a hard look. It takes a while, but eventually Remus relents, dropping his cigarette as Sirius had. You nod, crouching to pick up both dog-ends and taking them to a bin. “Each one shortens your life by eleven minutes, you know.” 

Remus meets Sirius’ eyes, incredulous. “She comes prepared with statistics?” he asks in a hushed voice. 

Sirius nods. “Told you so.” 

You brush your hands off on your pants. “Okay. Anyway, hockey practice got moved up.” 

“You’re joking,” says Remus. 

“Nope. And, someone else got wind of it before us, because the slot they had at nine has already been filled. We can’t practice today.” 

Sirius shakes his head. “Bullshit. Why did hockey get moved?” 

You shrug, hugging your middle so your hands can burrow under your arms for warmth. “Management said they didn’t know, only that someone on the team asked for a different slot just for today. Seems like they were sweet-talked into it.” 

Your eyes meet Sirius’ for half a second, and he takes out his phone, frigid thumbs anger-typing away. 

“So that’s it then?” Remus asks. He looks like he’d really like his cigarette back. “We’ve just woken up before dawn and we’re not going to practice?” 

You sigh. “Seems that way. We can come back during open skate, but you know how that is.” 

Sirius scowls, and Remus’ expression twinges with distaste. “Yeah,” says Remus, “let’s wait until tomorrow.” 

You all break where you usually do, though hours ahead of schedule, Remus going off towards his place and Sirius walking you in the direction of yours. 

“Fancy a coffee?” he asks you, voice intentionally light. 

It has the expected effect. You bristle at his easy tone, keeping your eyes ahead. “No, thanks.” 

“Fair enough.” Sirius would really like something to warm his hands, but he suspects he needs to pick his battles with you today. “Fancy telling me when we’re going to be friends again?” 

You blow out a harsh breath. It crystalizes in front of you, and you walk right through. “Don’t be daft. We’re always friends. It’s because I’m your friend that I’m so pissed off with you.” 

He nods slowly. “I don’t follow.” 

You shake your head, anger quickening your pace so that Sirius is nearly jogging to keep up with you. “Why can’t you ever stay out of your own way?” you ask him. “I know yesterday was hard for you, but you can’t be an asshole to everyone just because you’re having a bad day.” 

“Hey now, that’s not fair.” Sirius knows joking probably isn’t the best tactic with you right now, but he can’t help himself. “I wasn’t an asshole to you, was I?” 

“That’s what I mean!” You stop so hard he nearly plows into you, but you don’t so much as flinch at the possibility. Your stare is fierce. “You can’t keep trying to scare him off. It’s not going to work, and we need him. Can’t you see how much better he’s made us already? I know you didn’t want a coach, but Remus is good for us. So you can stop being so difficult.” 

“I am not being difficult,” says Sirius, though he often is. You stick your tongue in your cheek, annoyed, and he fights the urge to take your face in his hands. He hates having you cross with him, but at least you’re talking. “And you don’t know what we would be like if he weren’t here. We might’ve been fine.” 

You sigh, looking suddenly tired. And so, so disappointed. “That’s not the point anyways. You know what you said to him yesterday was wrong.” 

Sirius feels a dull stab in his gut. He knows. He does. He knew it the second it came flying out of his mouth, and he has no idea why Remus doesn’t seem as livid with him as you are. Remus, with his even voice and his exasperated, knowing looks and that stern little wrinkle between his brows, who seems able to wind Sirius up better than anyone else. A match to his short fuse. 

“How would you feel?” you ask. Some of the anger has fallen away from your voice, leaving it soft and sad. “What if we went to competition in a few weeks, and you injured yourself so that you knew you could never skate again. And then someone used it to mock you.” 

“He’s risking us doing that,” Sirius says, stubbornly, though he can hear the plea in his own voice, “by asking us to change the routine.” 

“He’s trying to help us,” you reply firmly. But your shoulders droop, and you sigh. “I know you feel bad about it. I’m done being mad at you now. It’s exhausting.” 

Sirius feels too hollowed out to revel much in the victory, but your arm linking through his does help some. “Some could say that was my plan all along,” he jokes weakly. 

You make a halfhearted attempt at a chuckle. “Good thing I know better. If your hands are in danger of falling off, you could stop at mine, make yourself a coffee.” 

“When I asked you for coffee five minutes ago you said no.” 

“Yeah, I wasn’t done punishing you yet.” 

[strawb3rryshortcak5]

For You I’d Bleed Myself Dry

simon ‘ghost’ riley x reader

Summary: The spoils of war had filled your dreams forcing you awake screaming. So, you decide to go for a smoke break. Unbeknownst to you, Simon heard the screams.

Contains: SFW, fluff, kissing, all things cute, comfort (received), crying, mention of anxiety attack/nightmares, gore (in the nightmare), smoking, pre-established situationship

A/N: i am so sorry for the pain i caused from the last oneshot i did…not. ANYWAYS! i tried to do something a little more cute rather than sad. but don’t worry, next time ill make sure to break your hearts again 🫶

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Nightmares were familiar to you. You had had them since you were a kid. This one, though, had you throwing yourself up out of your bed in terror. That of which had not happened in a long, long time.

You had watched a hooded man gut your whole team. Every single one of them. He gutted them like fish, cutting them open just to remove the guts and throw them to your feet. First Price and Laswell, then Gaz, Soap, and finally Ghost. You were aware you were dreaming, but it seemed so real. The sounds they made sounded so real, echoing in your ears. And when you found that you couldn’t wake up, it scared you even more. Eventually you did wake up, the screams you let out of your mouth sounded like the screeches of a Banshee. Grabbing the attention of a groggy Simon Riley.

You quickly got a hold of yourself, covering your mouth in surprise all the while feeling the tears streaming down your face. You realized fast that it was getting hard to breathe. You decided fresh air was best for this scenario. Not wanting to wake up anyone in the base, you slipped from your cot, snatching a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and left the warehouse.

Closing the huge door quietly, you staggered to the left of the building. You were barely awake, the cold air from outside hitting you hard as you slid down against the cold metal of the warehouse, trying to calm yourself down.

You dropped the pack of smokes and lighter into your lap instantly. Your hands flew to your face as the tears came again, hard. You covered your eyes, remembering every detail of the dream. The tears flowed as you shook, trying your best to keep calm, at least a little bit. It took a couple minutes before you heard footsteps a couple feet away from you.

“Y/N?”

Your head snapped in the direction of the voice, instinctively grabbing the knife attached to your belt in preparation to face whoever was there. Relief flooded you as you recognized the figure. It was Simon.

“Christ, Ghost.” You heaved out. The scare of your appearing teammate making your breathing even more uncontrollable. You were glad it was him out of everyone else though.

He noticed the fast paced rising and falling of your chest and dropped to his knees, inspecting your body with eyes only, looking for any wounds. He wasn’t completely sure if the screams he had listened to were from physical pain or something different. After a thorough check, he came to the conclusion it was a dream that had done this. Or maybe a vivid memory.

“Breathe. Just take your time.” He said softly. You locked eyes with him taking note that he wore his baklava to sleep. You placed your hands back over your face to wipe your tears and placed them into your lap when you were done.

You quickly took in his form, as well. He was wearing a black t-shirt and the jeans he had been wearing the day before. It was a calm day yesterday. Everyone spent the time preparing their gear and weapons for the journey that was to come the next day.

“Psychopath, who wears jeans to bed?” You whisper out, looking back up at his eyes as a small smile came to your face.

He snorted at your snide comment before joining you and leaning against the warehouse. You observed him as he grabbed the cigarettes and pulled up his balaclava, just a bit over his nose. Putting the cig between his lips, he lit it. Inhaling the smoke and turning his head towards the sky, blowing the rest out. Keeping the burning cancer stick in his mouth and ignoring the comment you made, he muffled out a reply.

“Stars are out tonight.” He said, glancing at you. You nodded your head before removing the cigarette from his lips and putting it between your own.

After taking a hit of the smoke, the tears started flowing once again, heavier this time. Your breathing had stilled but the tears came hard.

“What happened?” Simon questioned, taking the cig from your fingertips and putting it out on the ground beside him.

“Nightmare.” You cried. “You all died. I watched you all die.” You covered your face again as you sobbed.

Feeling Ghosts arm snake around your shoulders, you leaned into his chest. The exhaustion coming at you full force as you tried to rid yourself of your tears.

“I’m right here, the others are inside. Everyone is okay.” Simon whispered as his other hand, the one not being used to hold you, went up his face to remove his mask. He dropped it in-front of him as he held you.

Cuddling wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for you and Simon. Nothing had been confirmed between the two of you, but everyone treated you like a couple. No one made moves towards either of you when you went out drinking, no one questioned it. You had also seen his face a bundle of times, constantly bragging about it to Soap who had only seen it once.

“I was so scared.” You choked out. Holding his arm that was wrapped around you.

“No need to be scared, you’re safe.” He replied, kissing your forehead softly and looking back to the stars.

Once you deemed yourself calm enough, you too looked up to the sky. It was gorgeous. Being outside of the city made the stars shine brightly. The sky was covered with the tiny speckles of light.

“I guess you weren’t full of shit, stars are crazy tonight.” You said, looking up at him.

He looked down at you before grabbing the side of your face with his free hand. Running his thumb across your cheek, removing any stray tears.

“I’d never lie to you.” He said, trying to look serious before a grin flew to his face and he looked back up. Placing his hand on his lap.

You placed your head against his chest again, letting sleep take over. Not before whispering out something you instantly regretted.

“I love you, Si.”

As soon as it came out of your mouth your head launched off his chest. You stared at him in horror as your hand covered your mouth again, eyes widening.

“Really?” He said, not letting the silence get too loud. His eyes were also wide, not as large as yours though. He didn’t feel as embarrassed as you.

Nothing came out of your mouth but a couple stutters, not knowing what to say while being completely flustered. And then you heard it, he started laughing. Genuinely laughing. Continuing to look at him you started nervously giggling, not knowing at all what was happening.

“Come back over’ere.” He said between the last of his chuckles. Patting his hand on his chest and stretching his arm out. You did as you were asked, still confused at what was happening.

“That was completely out of line, i’m sorry.” You said as you once again got comfortable. Still embarrassed. A couple minutes had passed before anyone spoke again.

“I love you too.” He stated. Stiffening immediately after, surprised at his own words. At the same exact time, you both stared at each other.

This time you were the first one to start laughing. Loud and hard, you cackled as you lowered your head back onto his chest. He too, started laughing. You didn’t think you had ever been in a situation so awful yet so amazing.

Looking up at him as your laugh’s expired, you took your chance. Grabbing his face and pulling it further towards your own. You kissed him softly on his lips. To your shock, his lips weren’t rough at all. Not a single part of them were chapped or dry. They were soft and plump and you loved it. You loved the feeling of your lips on his.

He quickly grabbed the hand that was on his face and held on to it, kissing you back. He felt as you broke out into a grin, your giggles spilling into his lips. He smiled back, kissing you harder.

Pulling away after a couple seconds, you stared at each other out of breath. He was the first to stand up, reaching for your hand as he did so to help you get up as well.

“Lets go to bed.” He said before bending over to grab his mask. Taking your chance you, quite aggressively, slapped his ass and while booking it into the warehouse, laughing out ‘damn baby!’. He chuckled to himself while following you into the base, placing his mask back on.

“Cheeky woman, you’ll pay for that.”

[tippytopdays]

Just a Typical Morning

literally slapped a fresh coat of paint on this little thing and did some proofreading, posting here because it's not really a story i feel like belongs on my Ao3

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A snap. A small flare of light. A hiss. The light goes out with a brief spike of pain. The scent of nicotine filling his lungs, sitting there for a moment before being lazily huffed back out. He rolled the cig between his teeth, canines catching the paper.

For once, it was a slow day. Quiet too, if the silent city ruins said anything about it. No howling of some crazy Zed in the alleyways, no rushing of cars; nothing. Then again it’s probably something like, 6AM if he thought about it, since the sun wasn’t high enough yet to count as day.

Well as close to day as it could get, he assumed. It wasn’t like he knew anything else, anyways.

Deimos gripped the cig between his fingers, watching the flecks of tobacco sprinkle over the railing. The balcony was small, granted, but it was enough. Throw on a piece of metal or two along the railing and it even made for some quick cover if there was an attack. Overhead assault was harder to avoid, especially from so high up.

The end of the cigarette glowed dimly as he inhaled, smoke trailing into the air.

He didn’t like being up this early. It was too quiet.

Normally by now he would probably be going downstairs to fetch some grub from the cafeteria with Ford, talk about their evenings or whatever else would come up. Sometimes he’d be scrambling to get his gear on to check whatever combusted in the lower levels. Of course if it was the mercs just screwing around and breaking whatever had gotten mixed up with their roughhousing then he’d get upset. Fixing that shit isn’t easy you know, but it wasn’t worth straining his voice anyways; Ford could do that for him in spades.

He sighed in a soft plume of smoke. Really, what else can you do when the hired help has to be a bunch of knuckleheads, anyways?

Whatever it was, he definitely wasn’t throwing any parties for them that’s for sure. Last thing anyone needed was those guys keeping everyone up all night by being loud as fuck.

Another drag, a slight shake in his fingers as they met his lips.

His arms hurt like Hell from having to spend so long rewiring that at this point he was surprised they were even remotely steady at all. And when he thought about it him waking up at the ass end of dawn because the comms had crashed again was probably a good reason as to why he was up so early. Digging around in cramped crawl spaces was not how he wanted to spend his day; and being tossed into a late night mission on top of it was even lower on that list.

Damn his bed seemed real inviting, early morning or not.

When was the last time he’d slept in? Or just had a day off? Sure they’d had low days along with the high ones, but when did they get an actual break where they could relax? The last time there wasn’t some kind of emergency or chaos outside their doors was at least a decade ago at this point, maybe less. He didn’t really have it in him to care much, since he didn’t keep track of the days anymore. No point to it.

More smoke filled his lungs. He really should just get some extra shut eye, rest until he felt better.

But, for some reason, he couldn’t.

He’d snapped to awareness with a cold feeling of dread weighing down his stomach. It had been so strong he’d shot up, halfway reaching for the pistol at his bedside thinking someone was there. But there wasn’t. It was dead quiet, like the moments after a bad mission.

Maybe that’s why he was outside right now. The casual air helped to mask the intent in his eyes as he scanned the skyline.

A glint of reflected light from a nearby rooftop nearly made him crush the cig in his hands as he tensed. Eyes snapping upwards he focused, but relaxed when all he found was a few familiar faces among one of the many teams patrolling the area. He snorted, smoke curling around his face.

Another pull, the cold wash of nicotine a nice cleanse to the tension in the air.

He was overthinking this.

And after all they’d been through, who could blame him really? Being constantly on the run would make anyone look over their shoulder or keep a gun within reach. Still, it wasn’t like the Agency knew where they were this time. To add to it nothing could get through the blast doors even if it tried. They’d tested those well enough for him to be certain.

It was just a very quiet night and he wasn’t used to it. That had to be it.

The cig smoldered between his lips in one last drag before he flicked the used butt over the railing. Arms raising over his head he stretched with a groan, “Damn,” He muttered, wincing at the series of pops going up his spine, “Ya’d think I’m getting old with how I crack like a handful of spaghetti.”

He was done with his morning smoke anyways.

Mobility returned to his spine Deimos rubbed at his neck he turned his back to the city, meandering back inside. Hitting the switch beside the glass door to slide it shut behind him he glanced at the clock on the comically cluttered bedside table he owned. Yep, too early for him to be this awake, if the glaring red 7:37 was anything to go by. Well mostly glaring, since his cap was haphazardly draped over it when he’d tossed it there yesterday. Or last night, he didn’t look at it then because he was too busy flopping face first into bed.

A healthy gurgling from his stomach brought him out of his thoughts.

That’s right. He didn’t eat last night either. Not really any time to when you’re face first into the ugly end of some bastardized wiring job done nearly half a decade ago. He hummed under his breath.

Was it too early to get something from the cafeteria? It was still morning he supposed; maybe some breakfast sausage would be left this time since he’d be able to get there first for once. The thought alone was tantalizing despite the exhaustion tugging at the edge of his conscious.

Did he even change after all that sweatshop work yesterday?

Pulling at the hem of his tank top he took a whiff. Yep, stunk of old sweat and probably a hint of grease; he didn’t. Pants probably didn’t smell too great either but who would check those and not come off like a weirdo? A quick sweep of the cargo pants half hanging off his hips proved them to be good enough with no obvious stains or rips.

Deimos shrugged. It was good enough. At least he didn’t stink of blood or anything, otherwise Doc would be on his ass hard. Though it wasn’t like anyone would be able to tell the difference in this sausage fest anyways. He’d be fine for a quick early morning bite.

Just needed to grab his jacket and boots and he’d be good to go.

Deimos scratched the stubble lining his jawline while he scanned the room. He’d taken off his jacket somewhere mid collapse but he couldn’t place where. He wasn’t one to lose things—most of the time at least—but sometimes it felt like they just up and disappeared. With his luck it would probably end up in a really obnoxious place like behind the bed or something. Not like that would happen since the thing was braced up against the wall in the corner so it had to be somewhere around here.

He paused when he noticed the distinctly leather looking lump laying on the floor beside said furniture.

Oh. There it is.

Approaching the bed he picked up his jacket off the floor. It still had some dust from when he’d been crawling through the vents last night as he swiped a hand over the shoulder. He grimaced at the sticky webbing that stuck to his fingers; a few cobwebs, too. Gross. Shaking it to clear out any excess dust he threw it on haphazardly, adjusting his pants once it was snugly over his shoulders. Belt tightened up again he’d turned towards the table and nearly tripped over his own boots.

Welp, at least those weren’t far either. Glad he’d had half the mind to take those off before crashing.

Cursing a bit under his breath he snatched his cap off the clock. With a quick sweep of his hand through his hair to straighten it a bit he put his hat on and sat on the bed, scooting his boots closer with a foot. Once they were laced up and buckled he got to his feet, ready for the day—or at least, the really early morning.

He glanced at the clock again. It blinked lazily at 8AM.

Eh, early enough. But the call of some sweet breakfast sausage was not to be ignored.

The moment he turned towards the door there was a series of firm knocks. He jumped, nearly tripping again as he cracked out, “Uh, yeah?” Damn that cig wasn’t enough apparently because his nerves must still be fried from that morning.

“Deimos, it’s me.”

His lips quirked a bit, confused. Normally, Doc only went after him when something broke or got jammed up again but a glance at the tablet resting on the table face up didn’t reveal a blinking light for a missed message. Unless something went wrong in the handful of seconds he’d been standing there then why was he trying to talk to him now of all times, “Hang on.” Tromping across the room he swiped his code in, the door opening with a hiss.

Doc was standing in front of his room, arms behind his back and head turned away as he kept his focus down the hall before turning to face him. He scanned him head to foot, “You look like shit.”

Deimos rolled his eyes with a huff, “Good morning to you too, Doc.” Leave it to him to state the obvious. Not like he didn’t already feel like crap in more than a few ways. He propped an arm against the door as he nodded towards him, “What’s up?”

2B stood a bit straighter, and just by his posture alone he had a feeling that whatever he was going to say wasn’t good, “Boss called in this morning, we have another assignment.”

Well he wasn’t wrong.

Deimos sighed, traces of smoke licking at his tongue as he tossed his head back, “Seriously? Now? Doc I haven’t eaten yet.” As if to prove his point his stomach made yet another unhappy glug. Both men glanced down, the tech sweeping a hand towards it with brows raised.

“I can tell.” Doc merely returned his gaze placidly, “Have you seen Sanford yet?”

He shook his head, “Nah. Haven’t left until now.” Though if he were to take a guess, he’d say the demolition’s expert would be working out somewhere.

It seemed they shared the same thought as 2B nodded, “I assume he might be downstairs at this hour. I did hear some commotion from one of the training decks.”

He chuckled a bit. Typical Ford.

“I want you to be ready within the hour, Deimos. You’ll get to eat when you get back. I’ll tell the staff in the kitchen to keep something in the oven for you.” He turned around, fully intending to leave before adding, “And also, get some washing done when you get back. You smell like a corpse.” With that he took his leave while Deimos scowled at his back.

Great. Of course it would be doc who’d notice.

Still he only sighed, punching the code into the panel to lock the door behind him. Getting his gear from the locker he had downstairs would only take a couple of minutes, and Ford should already be up if he was taking up a training room.

Just another day in Nevada, per the usual.

Things never really change.

[bottomforkane]

Milex OS: Feels like only yesterday I’ve been ‘ere

Summary: Miles takes note of Alex being in London during lockdown which leads to him hitting up Alex again after not seeing each other for some time..

word count: 2839

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He laid down his phone on the small glass table in front of him and leaned back into the couch „What was I even thinking“ he murmured to himself whilst rubbing his eyes with both his hands.

„Hey Al, heard you’re over in London during quarantine, wanna catch up when lockdown’s over?“

Miles knew this may not be the best first text in almost a year after he unintentionally ended their friendship. They‘d never set boundaries between their touches and desires. Al had kissed and touched him so often on stage and afterwards they never talked about or mentioned it. Both of them had girlfriends whilst they’ve been on tour but all the pining looks, the tension behind closed doors grew too much over Miles. Every so often when they’d been out drinking with the crew after a gig Alex slipped his hand around Miles hip and with time even such a small touch would turn Miles hot and cold on the inside. And Alex knew exactly what he did to Miles. At least since he confessed his feelings to him.

Did he end it after all? Didn’t he just want them to be clear about his feelings? Wasn’t it just a try to set boundaries to not fall in love? Or an attempt to fall out of love with a bloke who’d played with him for the longest time?

The buzzing of his phone ripped Miles out of his train of thought. “Who the fuck rings me up at a time like tha?“ It’s Alex.

“Hello?“ “Aye Mi, what are ya up to?“ He didn’t know how to talk anymore. “Mi are ya there?“ “Yeah um sorry I just..I dunno like right now? I ain’t up for much just spinning some records, havin some wine“ “Mind if I come over?“ “Al we’re in lockdown and uhm..you know this is serious for me health“ “Dun’t worry I’ve self-quarantined long enough after I flew over, imma be ere soon, make sure you’ve got enough wine if you wanna catch up“ - Miles hurried to his closet and afterwards to his bathroom to somehow get ready. He can’t even answer himself why he’s so stressed about his appearance for Al and it’s somehow wrecking him. After all Al was his best friend for so many years.

-

Alex made his way straight to the living room, shrugging off his jacket on the sofa. “Feels like only yesterday I’ve been ere“ Miles set down another wineglass next to his. “Well’s been some time innit“ He poured some red wine which he held in the other hand and as he did he could feel Al watching every small movement he made. “Wanna spin a record for some background noise?“ He tried to somehow break the tensious silence and as he spoke Al hopped on his feet heading over to his records. “Got something like Lou Reed over ere?“ Al turned around to look at Miles who now stood behind him with his wineglass in hand. “So are ya in melancholic mood today?“ Miles smirked and took a step to the left where he’d look for a fitting record. “Wouldn’t call it melancholic, more like down the memory road ready to refresh some of it in talks.“ “You fine with Growing Up In Public?“ Miles tried to manage pulling the record off the shelf with one hand. “Wait lemme help ya“ Alex stepped closer and took it in both his hands, with an ever so slightly touch to Miles‘s hand. Miles knew it’s been accidental. But it left him with a shrug when the area Alex touched for what hasn’t even been a second felt so cold afterwards.

-

“So what made you come ere so fast when I texted ya?“ The second bottle of wine was empty by now and Miles really had to watch his mouth. “Alright..so I told ya why I’m over in London in quarantine and not in Paris.“ Al has told Miles that Louise and her family are quarantined in their Paris home but Alex needed some time for himself and his art. Which was totally understandable for Miles. Al could’ve choosen every other home, even L.A., over London though. “Kinda“ “Well today I called it quits with ´er“ Miles’s mouth flew open as he looked Al dead in the eyes. He never really got along with Alex’s new girlfriend, or ever had the time to get to know her, so this was the most of a reaction he could’ve had without acting. “I’m..I dunno what to say Al..I’m so sorry“ Miles was at a loss of words but Alex showed no sign of a reaction. “It’s fine Miles“ “No it’s..I didn’t know there was so much drama between ya“ Alex sighed and leaned down into the couch “It ain’t that much drama...it just felt as if I couldn’t love her like I do others“

Miles sat up and looked at Al who stared at the ceiling. “Then better spill who’s the bird which is all over ya!“ Miles mustered Alex from his now medium long hair to his slim hips. Almost getting lost in the sight of the person he’s still somehow pining for he caught himself biting his lower lip. “Ya still like what yer looking at huh?“ Al sat up smirking, looking at his glass which he twisted between his fingers besides Miles who’d just jumped up ready to go get some more wine. “It ain’t some girl which is all over me..“ Miles was just about to enter the kitchen when he turned around to look at Al down the hallway. ”Well then tell me who the chosen bloke is then!“

After a second of silence Miles grabbed the desired bottle out the kitchen and paced back to his sofa where he sat down besides Al once again. “Don’t ever feel pressured to tell me errything ey?“ He refilled both glasses and Alex inhaled sharp, then took a big sip.

“It’s you, Miles.“ He couldn’t believe what he just heard and almost choked on his wine. „Wait can we..head out for a smoke?“ Miles wasn’t the best in such situations and didn’t know how to react but if he knew one thing it‘s that he really needed a cigarette to talk about this.

-

As they stood outside on the balcony Al stared in the dark distance. “So when did you realize?“ Miles tried to play it cool and exhaled his cigarettes smoke. “You don’t love me, do ya?“ Now this really caught him off guard. “Is that why ye’re here in London?“ “Miles don’t give me counter questions give me fuckin answers!“ Alex’s gaze didn’t shift as Miles stared him down from the side.

“Ya know exactly wha’ you’ve done to me and how I feel for ya, that‘s the reason you left London to life with ya bird a year ago, to forget about me, wasn’t it?“ Miles didn’t wanna snap at him like that and realized pretty quickly what he’d done as Alex‘s eyes now met his.

“I always pined for ya.“ Al stepped closer to Miles “All the fuckin time..and I tried to fall in love with some bird again but couldn’t cause ya were all over me head“ Miles could now feel Al’s breath on his skin. It was hard to not just give in and kiss him.

“Remember tha’ show you played in Paris where I joined ya?“ Alex placed his flat hand on Miles’s chest and took a drag off his cig with the other which sent a shiver down the slightly taller mans spine.

“Ever since then I realized how fuckin much I miss ye around me since I went to Paris..“ Al slowly made Miles take a step back against his closed balcony door and slightly gripped his half buttoned up shirt. “The way ye looked at me on stage, with ye eyes full of excitement and ye happy smirk made me heart skip a beat“

He took a step further up to Miles who let out a sharp breath as he felt Alex with almost his whole body against him. „I saw how ye gaze dropped when I went off with Louise and ya know what, it broke me fuckin heart Miles!“ Miles tried to catch Alex’s eyes but they‘re all over the place. “Al look at m…“ “Stop talkin’ let me speak please just let me.“

Alex realized how near he was standing to Miles and let loose a bit. “Since you told me how I made ya feel I couldn’t get the thought of you and me outta me head..“

“So what were ye thinkin’ about you ‘n me?“ Sometimes Miles really just couldn’t stop himself from talking back. Sometimes it caused him fights and people being annoyed but he loved the risk in this situation. Why not play cool as Al did when Miles poured his heart out?

“Ye‘re really testin’ me right now aren’t ye? Like back in the days where I would’ve loved to put you up against a wall after a gig cause ya wouldn’t stop turnin’ me on during the gig with all ya small touches and looks?“

Wait so did Al feel the same as Miles did back then? Miles’s mouth dropped open for a second before he subconsciously started biting his lip.

Now Alex looked him dead in the eyes, with his hand slowly wandering from the Scousers chest to his neck and his head leaning in to his ear. “Did ya really think this time left me wi’out a trace?“

This sent goosebumps all over Miles’s body. How is it possible this man which he tried to oust for such a time is now turning him on ever so quickly with such soft things? Miles couldn’t help but close his eyes and unwillingly arch up his hips with a deep breath as he felt Alex’s kissing his temple.

“So what is ye answer to me question?“ Miles could feel Alex’s hand back on his chest, slighly pressuring him against the wall besides the door as if he wants to gain some security distance. He opened his eyes to look directly in Alex’s in the dim light of the night. Miles’s hand took a hold of Alex’s hip as he pulled him close, so close that their foreheads were touching. Miles could feel the slimmer man shiver under his touch and it drove him insane. “What’s with ya and all yer the questions ey?“ Miles smirked whilst his hand slid up Alex’s back till he took a hold of his neck.

He noticed how Alex tried to keep a straight, chill look but felt his sharp exhales out his slightly open mouth against his face. Miles knew exactly how to turn tension into desire and he never enjoyed it as much as in that moment.

Suddenly Alex gave in, grabbed his shirt and dragged him against the wall which lead Miles to a silent and unexpected groan.

“Will ya just fuckin kiss me already ya damn tease.“

With this Alex let loose of Miles‘s shirt to slide his hand down his hip as he closed the distance. Miles digged his fingers into Al’s hair as if he was scared the moment would end to soon. But it didn’t. To the dimmed sound of Lou Reed playing in the livingroom they kissed. Over and over again. Miles never kissed someone with such a passion. He let Alex lead all movements till they disrupted for a quick breath where they looked deeply into each other’s eyes, Miles cupping Alex’s face with both his hands.

Miles felt Alex placing his hands on his ass and with that their lips where one and his hands back at Al’s neck again. Alex’s hands gripped Miles’s ass firmly as his tongue slowly made his way into his mouth to explore more of him, which led to a deep moan escaping Miles’s throat. He could feel Alex smile into the kiss but what he felt against is thigh made his guts feel like they turned around. He arched his hips against Al’s already hard on which turned him on insanely. Alex responded with a groan and let his right hand slide up between Miles’s tighs till he reached his crotch. “Fuck Al..“

Alex let go of his mouth and kissed his cheek, then down to his neck where Miles was sure he left a mark. He clenched into the touch of Alex’s hand as he slowly brushed over his erection. “Alex I fuck..Al I need ya“

Miles couldn’t sort his thoughts as quick as Alex dropped to his knees without a word and started undoing his belt, all whilst looking up to him with a smirk. “Ye sure I shall suck ye off on the balcony? “ He spoke as he brushed against Miles’s erection again and with a groan the taller man grabbed Alex’s hair.

“Please..just fuckin do it it’s the middle of the night. “

With this consent Alex devoted all his attention back to undoing and pulling down Miles’s tight white Jeans and underwear so his hand had all access to give his full length a few strokes while he gripped Miles’s hip with the other.

“Al..fuck…“ “Ye like that?“ Alex looked up to him with an even bigger smirk than before and Miles could feel his cheeks turn bright red. As he was trying to process the touch of Al’s fingers, he suddenly felt Alex’s tongue steadily licking his tip, then all the way down to his shaft.

“Stop..fuckin teasin me like tha..“ Miles managed to groan in a shiver and as he spoke Alex’s mouth was all around him. He never experienced that much pleasure from getting his dick sucked. Miles threw his head back against the wall and gripped into Alex’s hair which lead Alex to moan against his dick. He wanted to arch his hips but Alex held him down in place with a firm grip.

The sensation ended abruptly “Ye’re so impatient when ye’re horny Kane, did ya ever notice that?” “Alex..please..” Miles groaned “Wha?” Alex looked up “We..can talk later please..just keep going..” “hmm yes beg for me” Alex groaned out laughingly as he dedicaded his gaze back down again.

Miles didn’t know how to properly breathe by now. Never could he have imagined Alex talking to him like this and never was he more turned on by his long time platonic love.

Alex’s rough fingers slowly paced from Miles’s hip over his ass to his balls which he started to massage steady to his sucking. “I..fuck..Al I’m..so fuckin close“ Alex looked up to see the now even more sweaty and heavy breathing appearance of Mi as he started to swirl his tongue around Miles’s tip and stroking again.

Miles thrusted into Alex’s hand which drove him over the edge with unsteady moans “Al..ohh..fuck Alex ye’re so good..hmmh“ Alex took all his load to swallow it and Miles slowly let go of his firm grip in Alex’s hair as he tried to steady his breath again.

“Is tha’ what ye were thinking about you ‘n me?” Miles reached out to cup the side of Alex’s face as he got on his feet again. Al looked him in the eyes with a cheeky grin. “There’s so much more than just tha’ about you ‘n me in me thoughts.” Miles pulled Alex close for another quick kiss before getting himself somewhat properly dressed again.

“Time for a smoke innit?” He handed Alex his pack of cigarettes after lighting himself one. They stood side by side smoking and looking into the night as Miles noticed Alex’s arm around his waist, pulling him closer. He never expected this evening to go down like this.

“Where’d you learn to suck like tha’?” Miles said with a laugh, laying his arm around the smaller mans shoulders. Alex exhaled the smoke off his last drag and turned to Miles. “I’ve done some things I shouldn’t have done and learned some stuff ya know” Miles smirked to himself and kissed Al’s cheek before letting loose of him.

“Guess we shall go inside it’s getting a bit cold out ere” He took Alex’s hand as he opened the balcony door and inside everything seemed as normal as always and exactly the same as before, except the record finished playing by now.

Miles placed his hand on Alex’s thigh as they sat down on the couch again, which made Al twitch. He knew Alex hadn’t got as much satisfaction as himself by now. Miles licked his lips and before he could think Alex kissed him again. Not as slow and passionate as before, wilder and fuller of desire.

Miles broke the kiss to look Alex in the eyes. “Ya staying the night?” “Of course” Miles grinned. “Well then lets see what the rest of the night has to offer us” With that said Alex straddled him and kissed him with even more passion than before.

[vegetasleftsock]

A Devil’s Smile (Vegeta x OC)

Part 1

Chapter 2

Saturday morning arrived. Golden sunbeams poured through open blinds in a window next to Milla’s bed. Waking up, she blinked a couple of times to try to adjust to the light.

“No use,” Milla thought to herself. “My eyelids feel like they weigh ten pounds each.”

She shifted onto her stomach and plopped her head straight into her pillow.

“So soft.”

Milla breathed in the scent of her pillow in a deep breath. It smelled like apples- the scent of her favorite fabric softener.

Suddenly a wave of realization and horror washed over Milla. She used her arms to push herself up from the pillow, eyes wide.

“Oh my god, what time is it?” Milla whispered aloud. She flipped over and began to rummage through the sheets to try to find her phone.

“Where is it?” Milla said, frantic. “Fuck!”

She unravelled her comforter and shook it until her phone made a loud thud on the floor.

“9:52? No! Fucking shit!”

“3 missed calls?? All from Janice?? Great.”

Milla clicked on the missed call and the phone began to ring. As she was waiting for the phone to pick up, she rushed to the closet, pulling her oversized t-shirt over her shoulders as she walked.

“Hello?” the voice in the phone said.

“Hey, yea,” replied Milla while hopping into one leg of her black slacks. “Is Janice there?”

“No, she left to run errands. Joey’s here though, I’ll give you to him,” said the voice.

“Thank you, dear angels above, for watching over me,” Milla breathed a sigh of relief that it was Joey, her bandmate and coworker that she was going to have to talk to and not her boss, Janice.

“Ya, you’re welcome. Although, I don’t know if I’d fall under the category of angel,” Joey laughed.

“Joey, I overslept.” Milla said.

“No shit. I told Janice I sent you to try to get more of that special printer ink from the Office Depot off of 5th,” Joey said.

“You told me that printer ink was discontinued,” Milla said, with a ponytail holder in between her teeth. Her hands stayed busy pulling her hair back and brushing out bumps with her fingers.

“Uh-huh. But I didn’t tell her that,” Joey said. “That way when you get here and you show up empty handed, at least you have a reason, ya know?”

“Oh ok, nice! Damn, Joey- I owe you!” Milla said.

“Just get me a pack of cigs and some pretzels for lunch and we’ll call it even.”

“You got it. Thanks again, friend.” Milla smiled.

“No problem bud. See ya soon.” Joey replied, and then hung up the phone.

Milla took one last look in the mirror. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail and silver jewelry hung from her ears. The jewelry was vintage and an emerald sat in the middle of each earring. The earrings were a prized possession- her grandmother gave them to her the year she started college.

A black blouse with floaty long sleeves and a bow tied loosely around her neck hung slightly off her small frame. The all black outfit made her look put together- professional. Greatly contrasting from the persona she wears at home and on stage during her performances.

A black and white cat curled through Milla’s legs as she leaned against her dining room chair to strap her tall chunky heels onto each foot.

“Okay, Chomps. I promise I’ll feed you in just a moment.”

Chomps continued to rub his head against her ankles and calves aggressively. Just as Milla placed her foot to the floor to walk to the cabinet where she kept the cat food, Chomps placed his teeth on her ankle and bit down- hard.

“OW, fuck, Chomps! Seriously?” Milla yelled. “I said I was on my way to feed you!”

Blood trickled down her ankle onto her heel, but she was already late. No time to waste.

Milla opened the cabinet and pulled out a measuring cup to portion Chomps’s food. He obviously had an food obsession issue. She dumped the food into his bowl, grabbed her keys and ran out the door.

She sat down into her small silver Jetta and started the engine. As she started her car, it reminded her of the night before.

That guy- the one with the black, spiky hair and the death glare. Milla allowed herself to reflect and replay her interaction with him.

She never even got his name. Not that she really cared. What was his problem? He approached her after the show at her car for what reason?

If he wanted to hurt her or be a pervert, there was nothing stopping him. Milla was strong for her small stature, but she was nothing compared to him. He was clearly ripped. She could tell by every muscle in his toned arms, folded over his chest that also appeared to be rock solid. His shoulders were big and built and even though he wasn’t the tallest guy she had ever met, he still towered over her.

“Too bad he’s fucking odd. He’s hot.” Milla thought to herself.

Before she could think any further about the situation, Milla had arrived at work. She walked through the front doors of the doctor’s office and found her desk, acting like she wasn’t an hour and a half late.

“Good morning, Milla. Did you find anything at the Office Depot? I really need that ink.” Janice, the office manager and Milla’s boss said.

Milla took a deep breath and spun around in her chair to face Janice.

“Janice, I’ve got some bad news about that. They discontinued the ink.”

“I have a hard time believing that,” Janice said. “Did you ask to speak to the manager?”

“I did,” Milla said. “I even asked the manager to call the distributor and they said it’s production has been indefinitely suspended.

“Great,” Janice sighed. “Next time can you clock out if you’re going to take more than 30 minutes to drive across town? Thanks.” Without another word, she turned on her heel and left Milla at her desk alone.

“NeXt TiMe CaN YOu ClOck Out,” Milla mocked.

Even though Milla was annoyed by Janice’s never-ending passive aggressive remarks, she was relieved to be relatively unscathed throughout the day.

However, Milla didn’t get to take her lunch break, which means she didn’t have time to get Joey his thank you gifts for saving her behind.

Milla tied up any loose ends and threw her purse over her shoulder. She waved goodbye to her coworkers and she walked to the back of the office to find Joey.

“Hi, friend.” Milla said to Joey, who was slinging his Levi jean jacket over his broad shoulders.

Joey was about 6 foot, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was average build, but his arms and legs were lanky.

Any girl would normally fawn over Joey, but Milla considered him to be like a brother.

“Heading out?” Joey said while grabbing his keys from his desk and sticking them into his jacket pocket.

“Yup. Let me take you out to dinner since I didn’t get to buy you pretzels and cigs.” Milla said, starting towards the back exit of the office.

“I’m down. As long as I get something to smoke and we go somewhere that has the big kind of pretzels.”

Milla laughed. “Sure thing, dude.”

They both climbed into Milla’s Jetta and started driving to one of their favorite breweries, not far from the bar they perform at every Friday night.

On the drive over, Milla lit Joey a joint and told her the story of the guy from the bar. How he met her at her car, got defensive, but never even tried to lay a hand on her.

Joey took a puff and laughed. He told Milla that he assumed the mystery man was probably too nervous to tell her that she was pretty.

Once they got to the brewhouse, they ordered a full flight of beer, pretzels, and a medium pepperoni and basil pizza to share.

They discussed work, talked shit about Janice, and Joey talked about his multiple sketchy encounters with recent hookups.

“Alright, you ready to call it a night?” Joey said.

“Ugh, no I really wanted to finish my beer. It’s only 9:30.” Milla said, pouting at Joey.

“Normally I would stay with you, but I have to meet my mom for breakfast at 8. She’ll have my neck if I’m not there.”

“Understood.” Milla said.

“I’ll just grab an Uber so you don’t have to drive. You should too. Call me if you need anything and please be careful.” Joey said, knowing he couldn’t convince her to leave.

“Ew, you’re not my dad.” Milla laughed. “But yes, I will be extra careful if you insist.”

“Thanks.” Joey patted Milla on the back before heading outside to catch his ride.

About 15 minutes later, Goku, Bulma and Krillin walked into the brewery. They sat at the bar, close enough to Milla to get a hint of who she was.

Goku squinted at Milla. “Hmmm..”

“What is it, Goku?” Krillin asked.

“I feel like I’ve seen that girl somewhere, but I can’t put my finger on where.”

“Ha! I know,” Bulma laughed. “That’s the girl that got Vegeta all flustered!”

“From yesterday? The singer?” Goku asked. “She looks so different!”

“She probably works, Goku. Singing isn’t usually super lucrative.” Bulma explained.

“But she’s so good at it!” Goku said. “Excuse me, miss?”

Goku had moved over so that he and Milla were a seat apart. He tapped on her shoulder to get her attention.

“Uh- Hi.” Milla smiled. “Do I know you?”

The guy appeared relatively harmless and the two friends who joined him gave off good vibes. Milla decided to lessen her guard a little.

“Not really. We saw you sing last night. I just wanted to let you know that we all really enjoyed it!” Goku smiled. “By the way my name is Goku and these are my friends, Krillin and Bulma.”

“Nice to meet you guys. I’m Milla. Thanks for the compliment and for coming out last night. I’d love to see y’all there next Friday as well.” Milla beamed, cheeks a little pink from the alcohol.

“I wouldn’t mind going again,” Bulma said. “Your singing is great but it was pretty great to watch Vegeta get all flustered too.” She laughed.

It suddenly clicked for Milla. The blue haired girl and the guy with the nice smile were the ones who were at the table with the grumpy mystery man.

“Vegeta?” Milla moved her head to the side a little. “That’s the guy who got embarrassed and left after I flirted with him, right?”

“Yup. That’s Vegeta!” Goku laughed. “He’s a little hard around the edges but he’s a good guy.”

“Hard around the edges. That’s one way to explain it.” Milla said eyebrows raised. She took another swig of her stout beer.

“Wait-,” Krilled said. “You sound like you know Vegeta.”

“Hardly.” Milla smiled. “He approached me at my car after the show.”

Bulma laughed. “So that’s where he went! It doesn’t sound like he made the best impression.”

Milla puffed up her chest and held her arms out to the side like she had big muscles. “If you knew who you were talking to, you wouldn’t be laughing. Foul woman!” Milla said, imitating Vegeta.

The four of them shared a laugh before Goku was pulled off his barstool.

“Kakarot! Did you forget about our night training? I’ve been waiting for over 30 minutes and I find you HERE of all places, doing god knows what with-“

Before Vegeta could continue, Milla placed her hand on Vegeta’s shoulder.

“Dude. Shut up, relax. Drink a beer or something before your head explodes.”

Vegeta’s face pulled in a snarl as he looked to see who would have the nerve to say such a thing. His eyes met with Milla’s and his expression turned from anger to shock.

Bulma, Goku, and Krillin sat and watched. They were surprised at Milla’s bluntness with volatile and moody Vegeta.

“You,” Vegeta said, brushing Milla’s hand off of his shoulder. “What are you doing here? Are you all just friends now or something?”

“And what does it matter to you?” Milla laughed.

“Ugh.” Vegeta scoffed. “You’re intoxicated.”

He crossed his arms and inhaled the air again. “And you’re bleeding.”

“What?” Milla furrowed her brow in confusion. She was definitely weirded out again.

He leaned down to follow the smell.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Milla cursed at Vegeta.

“Here.” Vegeta brushed his finger against the bite marks on her ankle. “Looks like some kind of small animal marked you.”

Milla then remembered that this morning she didn’t have time to attend to her wound from Chomps.

“Oh, you’re right. That was Chomps.” Milla and Vegeta’s eyes met once more.

“Wow, Vegeta! That’s crazy how you knew that just by smelling.” Goku said.

Vegeta scoffed and rolled his eyes in response.

“Who’s Chomps?” Krillin asked.

“My cat. He bites when he’s hungry, so I named him Chomps.” Milla said.

“Hmph. Your cat and I have something in common then.” Vegeta said while giving Milla a sly grin.

“Kakarot, I’ll let you play your little games for now. But I will not be as lenient if you fail to show for training tomorrow morning. ON TIME.”

Before Milla could even process Vegeta’s words, he had already left.

“Looks like someone has a little crush on Milla,” Bulma said and gave Milla an encouraging wink.

“What’s his deal?” Milla asked. “Why can’t he just buy me a beer or ask me out like any normal human being.”

“Probably because he’s a Saiyan!” said Goku. “And so am I!”

“A what?” Milla said, looking lost.

“I can explain it all later,” Bulma said. “If you’re free you should come over to my place tomorrow night and I can fill you in. I could make dinner for everyone!”

“Are you sure we can’t do it tonight,” Goku whined. “I’m hungry.”

“Goku, you just cleared the wing place we went to of their entire inventory for the week. You don’t think you can wait until tomorrow?” Krillin asked.

“I guess.” Goku pouted. He quickly perked up. “Can you come, Milla? It’d be so fun to have you there!”

“Sure, I can go.” Milla said. She was apprehensive, but the kind nature of the three in front of her and the craft beer bubbling through her system told her to not worry about it.

“Great! Do you have an iPhone?” Bulma asked.

Milla dug in her pockets and pulled out her iPhone.

“Awesome,” Bulma said. “I’ll just connect to your phone through mine and give you all of our numbers, and it’ll put your number into our phones.”

At this point, Milla was ready to go home and sleep. She nodded her head in agreement.

“You look tired Milla, do you need a ride home?” Krillin asked, aware of how quiet Milla had gotten.

“Please.” Milla replied, her eyes fighting to stay open.

“I can help. Where do you live?” Goku said.

“Apple Cove apartments. Not too far from the Sprint skyscraper.” Milla said.

“Got it! Put your hand on my shoulder.” Goku smiled at Milla, helping her onto her feet from the bar.

“It’s okay, Goku I can walk.” Milla said.

“Just trust me.” Goku looked down at Milla and held his hand out.

Milla reluctantly gave her hand to Goku and he placed it on his shoulder. Milla’s arm was almost completely extended, making the height difference between the two of them glaringly obvious.

Krillin chuckled. “Man, I thought I was short.”

“Bye Milla! See you tomorrow at the party!” Bulma said as she waved.

“Bye, nice meeting you. See you tomorrow.”

Goku placed his fingers to his forehead and before Milla could blink again, she was in front of her apartment complex.

“Holy shit, am I really that drunk?” Milla said, eyes wide.

“It’s instant transmission. Pretty cool, huh?”

“I’m not even going to crack open that can of worms tonight,” Milla said before hiccuping.

“Is it okay if I walk you to your apartment?” Goku asked.

“No really, you’ve done a lot. Thank you for all your kindness.” Milla said.

“Please. I wouldn’t feel too good if anything bad happened to you.” Goku said while scratching the back of his neck.

“Okay-“ Milla said reluctantly. “Promise you’re not creepy?”

“I don’t think I’m creepy?” Goku said innocently while looking at Milla.

“I don’t think you are either,” Milla chuckled between hiccups.

Goku walked Milla to her apartment, made sure she was settled, and even fed Chomps.

She was fast asleep by the time he was ready to go home. Goku pressed his fingers to his forehead and transmitted to the kitchen of Capsule Corp.

“Boy am I starving!” Goku said while rubbing his stomach.

“Kakarot.” Vegeta said, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“Oh, hi Vegeta,” Goku said with his head in the fridge. “Did you come to get snacks too?”

“What I was doing in this kitchen before you got here is none of your business.” Vegeta said, pushing the bags of fruit snacks further into the pocket of his black sweatpants.

“Oh. Okay.” Goku said. “That Milla girl is really nice, the singer one?”

“So that’s her name. She has an attitude,” Vegeta stated plainly.

“I’m guessing that’s something you like in women.” Goku shrugged, a plate with an entire turkey in his hands.

“Kakarot-“ Vegeta growled, stepping closer to Goku.

“Good news, she’s coming to Bulma’s get together tomorrow night. You’ll get to spend more time with her. If you play your cards right, you might be able to have a normal conversation with her too.” Goku laughed.

“Why do you smell of her?” Vegeta asked.

“I took her home. She was pretty drunk and I didn’t want her to try to make it home alone.” Goku said in between bites. “You could’ve taken her if you would’ve stayed longer.

Vegeta scoffed and walked out of the room. “Training. 8 AM. DON'T be late.”

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Three Hundred Nine: Quick Exit ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto ] [ SasuHina, blood, vulgarity, smoking ] [ Verse: Oil and Blood ] [ AO3 Link ]

In the middle of the morning, Hinata snaps awake, eyes wide and breath curt with a gasp. She was having the strangest dream about an old warehouse, and a gunfight, and -

...oh. Right. That was just her day yesterday bleeding into her dreams.

In spite of herself, Hinata goes slack atop her bed. What a day it was. In fact, what a few weeks it’s been, now. Saving a member of a yakuza, having to dodge his attempts to repay her, and then the firefight yesterday when a rival faction mistook her as someone actually important, and kidnapped her in hopes of getting information on their enemies.

Meanwhile Hinata was completely clueless, dragged into a turf war she had no real business in.

And now, well...she has no idea what’s going to happen to her.

She got the day off from work, thank the gods. And Sasuke is likely still downstairs guarding her apartment from any unwanted Senju guests. Now he owes her even more than he did for saving her life, getting her mixed up in all of this.

In all honesty, Hinata would be fine with them just...leaving her alone! But she knows it won’t be that simple, now. Though the Uchiha saved her the only way they could - by storming the hideout - that likely only solidified her status as some kind of target. Even if the Senju assume they only came for the doctor dragged in with her...Hinata knows there’s little escaping them.

Especially since their leader Tobirama now knows who she is. Or rather...who her father is. She’s not the important factor. If he still believes her worth something to attempt to blackmail Hiashi, she might not be safe, regardless.

Of course...she highly doubts Hiashi would cooperate, anyway. He disowned her years ago for her defiance against his business dealings. She’s likely worthless to him. He might still have some feelings for her as his daughter - some semblance of loyalty or parental love. But given that he basically dumped her on the street for questioning him...she won’t hold her breath.

So...where to go from here? She has no idea. All she does know is that - as of yesterday - there’s little chance of getting her old life back. Not that it was much of a life, working a base-pay job that both stressed her out and collided with her morals. And otherwise lurking at home when not working behind her company’s back.

...maybe Suigin-san could hire her if she gets fired. She doesn’t know much about the medical in practice, but...maybe the doc needs a receptionist. It’s not like she’s not familiar with how the insurance works.

Sighing, she brings an arm up over her eyes. The little bit of leftover takeout she gobbled the night before is already digested, if her stomach’s pining for food is any clue. But she doesn’t have much in the way of supplies...she’ll have to make a grocery run. But is that safe…?

Bringing a hand to her comm mod, she dictates a text for Sasuke.

I need to run errands. Am I free to leave?

In the interim, she abandons the clothes she simply fell asleep in, having lacked the motivation or energy to change the night before. Tugging on her pants, she receives a reply.

I’ll go with you.

That gets her to blanche. Don’t you need a break?

Took one last night - someone covered me overnight. Came back this morning, I’m fine.

Hinata hesitates. Does she really want to be seen in public with him…?

...of course, she’s already pretty much a known associate by the people who are the biggest threat, so...what else does she have to lose?

...okay. I’ll be quick. Sorry for the inconvenience.

It’s either this, or sit here and do nothing while the others figure out what to do with you.

...oh. She hadn’t considered that.

Putting on a jacket and making her way down to the ground level, she finds him leaning idly against her building nearby the door and smoking a cigarette. He does indeed look rested, and his outfit has changed. Which...is good, given there’d been some blood on what he’d been wearing before. Makes sense, given his...activities. “...ready to go?”

“Where we headed?”

“I usually just go to a place down the street…”

“You don’t do delivery?”

“Some things I like doing the old fashioned way,” is her reply, which to her surprise earns a chuckle. “...what?”

“Nothing. You’re just...weird.”

Her cheeks puff a hair in a pout. “What’s so weird about that?”

“Just not what most people do. Hell, even I typically have things dropped off. Feels like a waste of time, otherwise.”

“I don’t know, I just...like to look around.”

“Mhm...like you said, old fashioned.”

A bit ruffled, Hinata stuffs her hands in her pockets, leading the way as Sasuke falls into step a bit behind her. “...so, um...have you heard anything about w-what happened yesterday?”

“Bits and pieces. We dealt a decent blow, and Tobirama’s scrambling. Apparently he’s pretty pissed he’s failed at killing me twice now in so many weeks.” At her curious glance, he expounds, “My father leads the Uchiha...sort of. His father, Madara, is still around and calls shots...but Fugaku’s still de facto leader. Madara and Tobirama - and Tobi’s brother Hashirama - have some pretty bad personal blood between them.”

“...I see.”

“As for what’s going to happen to you,” he goes on, knowing that’s what she’s really curious about, “we’re still talking. See, Suigin’s an asset. She directly benefits the gang, and she gets paid. But everything with you is less...official. You saved a member’s life, but you’re not a member, nor are you on the gang payroll like she is. So figuring out what you’re supposedly allowed in terms of protection and all that is a bit...up in the air.”

“...oh…”

“But either way,” Sasuke continues, pausing for another drag, “I’m going to take care of it.”

“But -?”

“But nothing. You saved my ass, and I repaid you by almost getting you killed. Least I can do is keep you from getting killed for a while, whether my father wants me to or not. Yakuza might do some shitty things, but we still have honor in some regards. And debt is one of them. Until we’re square, you’re stuck with me.”

Hinata gives a quiet sigh. “...I guess there’s no c-changing your mind…”

“Nope. I know this is all gonna affect your life and livelihood, so...we’ll have to hash out the details. Obviously your job might be at risk if people start noticing me hanging around...but at the same time, that’s the only way to keep Senju off your ass.”

“Yeah, I was...w-wondering about that.”

“...guess if it comes down to it, I’ll find you a new job.”

“Wh-?!”

“Cuz that’ll be my fault, too. And I’ve got connections.”

Hinata bristles. “This is getting r-ridiculous!”

“Well, it’s that or we could have you moved, your identity changed...the whole shebang. Up to you,” he offers, giving her a glance and drawing from his cig again. “...being yakuza tied is tough business. Guess I should have warned you, but...well, I don’t think either of us imagined it ending up quite like this, huh?”

“...no.”

They reach the store, Hinata stepping through the automatic doors with Sasuke behind her. Activating a cart, it glides alongside her as she starts quickly stocking up on the essentials. Because apparently...she might be on house arrest for longer than she imagined.

All the while, Sasuke stands casually behind her, hands in his pockets and the butt of his cigarette between his lips.

“...want anything?”

“Huh?”

“You’re here, you might as well get something,” Hinata explains, setting several instant ramen cups into her cart.

That earns a snort. “I’m fine.”

“Want a...candy bar or something?”

“I don’t like sweets.”

“What?!”

Eyes narrowing, Sasuke then tugs her back around the end of the aisle, her cart following like a puppy. “...hold up.”

Oh for goodness’ sake, now what?!

Stock still, Hinata listens as a few more customers walk through the door. It’s a rowdy group of young men their age, Hinata curiously leaning out to peek.

“Don’t do that.”

“But we can’t -?” Turning to look at him, she sees Sasuke staring out oddly...and then it clicks.

Right. Rinnegan model. Instantly bypasses just about any surveillance security and grants access to nearby cameras. He doesn’t have to look...the store’s doing that for him.

“...damn it.”

“What? Senju?”

“Sort of...long story. I know the blond. He’s a pain in my ass.”

“Is...is he dangerous?”

“...no. But I don’t need him seeing me. It’ll just stir up more trouble. I need to make a quick exit…” He then glances to her, Rinnegan turned in its socket. “...think you can handle checkout? I can meet you outside.”

“...yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Just buzz me if something goes down.”

“Okay…” Watching him slink around the back, Hinata takes a moment to breathe before heading to the front of the shop.

The group of men is still there, browsing the cheap tablets bearing various news and articles...among other entertainments. Eyeing them warily, she starts running things through the machine to tally up her total and remove the security on the items.

“Whoa, hold up…”

Tensing, she keeps going, avoiding eye contact as one approaches.

“...Hinata-chan?”

Jolting, she looks up, finding a nostalgic pair of blue eyes. “...Naruto-kun…?”

Wait...blond...is this the one Sasuke was…?

“Holy crap! It’s been ages! You, like...totally vanished after school!” the Uzumaki goes on, grinning widely and clearly excited to see her. “You look...kinda different. Where have you been?”

“Oh, just...w-working. You know...boring life stuff…”

“Dude, I’d love to catch up sometime! You live local?”

“Er...well…”

“Oi.”

The pair both turn to see Sasuke standing nearby. Naruto stiffens, Hinata just looking warily between them. “...Sasuke…?”

“Leave her alone. She’s clearly trying to get her shit done and leave. You’re holding her up.”

“Wh-? This long since you’ve seen me, and that’s how you say hello?”

“Who says I want to say hello? You’re holding her up.”

“What do you care?”

“Because I’m waiting for her, dumbass.”

Blond brows furrow. “...you know her?”

“In a manner of speaking. We’ve got places to be, so save your sap for some other time.”

“Good to see you’re still an asshole,” Naruto mutters, stuffing hands into his jacket pockets.

“Like I give a shit what you think.”

“Look, guys...p-please,” Hinata cuts in, lifting placating hands. “It...it’s fine! Naruto-kun, um...here, I’ll...give you my contact info. We’ll talk later, o-okay? Really. It’s okay. But I...I really should be going.”

Still glowering at the Uchiha, Naruto replies, “...yeah, sure…”

Transferring the proper data, she gives him a strained smiled. “...it...it really was nice seeing you again.”

“...just take care of yourself, Hinata-chan,” he offers, eyes still trained on Sasuke. “Don’t want you getting mixed up in the wrong crowd.”

“...I...I’ll bear that in mind. Have - have a good day!” Things bought and bagged, she gives a nervous grin before fleeing, Sasuke on her heels. “...what the hell was that?”

“Long story,” Sasuke mutters. “...but he’s got Senju ties.”

“...is he…?”

“He’s not yakuza, but he benefits from them. Vague family ties...like I said, long story. As you can imagine...that doesn’t make us best friends anymore.”

Her ears perk at that. ...anymore…?

“Anyway...let’s get you home. Sorry for butting in, but...I wasn’t sure if he’d have heard about you.”

“...that’s okay. Um...I hope that wasn’t too...inconvenient…?”

“I’ll get over it. Mostly it’s just a stroke to my temper. Good news is he seemed clueless...but he might not stay that way, so...keep your guard up with him, okay?”

Hinata gives Sasuke a glance. He has a point, but… “...okay. I will.”

“Good.”

                                                           .oOo.

     (This is a sequel to days 250, 254, 269, 300, and 303!)       More cyberpunk! I am so falling in love with both this little series and this genre, it's just so cool xD      And now we have a new player on the field: Naruto! And given his ties to the Senju...this might get rather...interesting. How? I...don't know yet, but we'll figure it out as we go, as we always do with these, lol      Buuut yeah, I'm...uber tired as usual so I'll call it there - irl is a WEE BIT stressful today and will be for...a while :'D So I'll sign off for now. Thanks for reading!

[diningpageantry]

Can You Hear Me?

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43235681

Chapter 6/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1174

Chapter Summary: Simon has a simple request for Baz, as nerve wracking as it may be.

BAZ

I used to hate mornings. Loathed them. Thought they were the shittiest time of the day--the part where it all started. Except, now that I get daily good morning texts from Snow, accompanied by an odd little meme (usually an obscured, “deep fried” one), I can’t say I hate mornings anymore.

It’s so silly, given it’s such a small thing, but additions of something sentimental and small in my day makes me feel more alive.

Good morning texts. Daily updates. Stupid jokes, playful nicknames, and the intimacy of a phone number. We’re intertwined far enough that Dev and Niall know about him now. I’ve grown proud of speaking about him; he’s rather stupid sometimes, but I always smile at those messages. Sure, I haven’t seen his face yet, or heard his voice, but that doesn’t matter. It may be an issue one day, but for now, I’ll live with where we are.

It’s not entirely positive, though. I know he only texts because he can’t always afford extra data, and Davy cuts the wifi, but it’s more comforting to hear a mobile tone than to feel just a notif buzz.

When I woke up this morning, though, the space where his message usually sits is vacant, leaving the last received one to be from last night.

im fukcin exhausted goodnight x

That’s it. Nothing new, nothing to get excited over. Nothing to smile about.

Nothing in my DMs, and Instagram says he hasn’t been online since yesterday afternoon. It’s mildly concerning, to say the least.

I try to distract myself, but I can’t eat (too nauseous), nor can I sit still. My shower is terrible, and the empty, numbing feeling is driving me insane. It’s nearly 11 by the time I finally get something--a simple, unexpected, heartstopping text.

hey can i call you tonight?

I double check to make sure I’m not misreading it, then exit out of the app before opening it again. Surely enough, I hadn't read it wrong.

He wants to call me. He wants to hear my voice. I get to hear his voice.

While the circumstances call for a concerned pause, I still throw an answer towards him despite the twisting of my gut.

of course you can

call whenever you have a chance, i’ll be here

thank you

sorry i know i usually text sooner

its just a bad day

i know im shitty

you’re not shitty

really don’t apologize it’s okay

so long as you’re okay

i cant promise im ok but im alive

good enough for me

I lay my phone face down, hands scrubbing over my eyes as I exhale slowly. He’s alive. That’s more than good enough for me--that’s a spark of hope. He can always get better, but he can’t stop being dead (whatever-the-fuck-deity forbid that ever happens).

Slowly, my eyes drift towards the window. It’s a sunny day. The weather’s growing warmer, and he only gets out in a month or so. Maybe… maybe I can see him once summer hits. I’ll drive out to wherever he is, and we’ll finally get to exist inside the same spaces. I’ll shake his hand. I’ll take him to dinner (maybe go get a drink, if he’s 18 by then). I’ll be stupid for once in my life and make a bold move. It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.

I look at my phone, repeating it in a soft utter. “We’ll be okay,” I say into the empty room around me, heart speaking differently. Who knows if he'll be okay now. Eventually, we’ll find our peace within the world. He’ll stop hurting, and I’ll start living. We just have to make it over this hurdle.

As my fingers drag across the cotton sheets, I let my mind wander off into thought. I wonder what his voice sounds like. I wonder what accent he has (I don’t even know what region he’s from). How should I address him? Is it proper to begin with a casual “Hi”?

This is shit. I wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew what we were, so it’d be easier.

A bird chips outside, and I break back into an empty stare out the glass.

It’s all empty. I feel empty. Everything feels so empty for hours as I drag myself around the house like a spineless ghost, hoping to hear from my distant friend. I barely feel the need to eat, and I can’t bring myself to care enough to go for a walk to shake off my nerves. Instead, I sit, stare at the wall silently, making pointless reblogged posts on the occasion I can bring myself to look at my mobile. By the early evening, I’ve updated one of my fics and answered a good handful of asks from a numbers post. It’s all mindless and meaningless, but it’s a distraction.

Not enough of one, sadly. By early evening, I get antsy enough to drag myself out of bed and find my pack of cigs.

I contemplate the windowsill briefly, then decide against it in favor of going down to the garage. It used to be the stables, so there’s plenty of room to hide by a window and smoke one or two.

Tucking the lighter and pack in my pockets, I slip out quickly enough. My mobile stays in hand, ready to respond to any buzz.

It doesn’t come immediately. Not as I’m getting comfortable, pillow pressed to my back in the dusty stone and brick building. I settle against the window, cracking it open slightly while my head leans back against the wall. In my mouth lies a cigarette, with another tucked behind my ear. I flick the lighter a few times before it sputters to life

Holding it up, I watch the satisfying glow of the end as my hands tremble. Honestly, I hate smoking. I hate the taste it leaves, I hate the way it seeps into my clothes, but there's a shaking of my nerves that calms it while lighting my insides up.

Carefully, I suck it in, holding back the smoke as I stare out the warped glass. After a slow inhale, I let the tendril of smoke trickle from my lips. I hate this.

I go through the first one, stubbing it onto the stone. About halfway through the second, my mobile starts buzzing nonstop. Looking down, I already know who it is.

offbrand sammy

Fumbling with my cigarette, I switch it to my non dominant hand as I slide my mobile and press it to my ear. “Hello?” I say, not even thinking out my answer. Fuck. Wait. Too formal.

The formalities don't even matter, because suddenly, there's sobs on the other line. They break out, coming in muffled bursts as my heart sinks. In all my utter uselessness, I sit completely silent, jaw hanging open as I wait. After what feels like minutes, rather than seconds, of him crying, his voice comes through. It's clear, deep, Northern, and cuts me to the bone.

“Holy shit.”

[vicfuentesslut]

PART 1 - last night was so amazing. started texting this dude yesterday cuz i was bored looking around on seeking arrangements for some random daddies to spoil me LOL. I already met two dudes from this app which werent bad but def not my type lolz. we moved to snap to talk n he sends a pic of his face DUDES CUTE AF so imlike hiiiii we had a convo just via sending pics and and he's actually hot ok all the pics are just green flags to me. so I ask him if he's free n he is .. he asks me and I say I am.. also he's smoking a joint in one of the first pics which is sexy afff I luv potheads !immediate turn !on there's like a lack of pot smokers on SA lol I swear. I was also drinking this watermelon basil cider drink so I was a lil tipsy during our convo. he's like how much do u wanna be spoiled cutie n my drunk ass was like 800 HOE!!! he's like lol that's a lot Ill give u 300 when u come over and once we know there's chemistry ill spoil u all u want baby. AND get u sexy lingerie ! and i’m like ok bet u like lingerie ? i show him some of my sets n he tells me to wear the red one. killing a blunt roach while i smoke this vanilla backwood roach to the fucking bone! i put a cute casual sexy fit on drank a lil coffee smoked joint eventually he called the uber after i thought he was gonna chicken out lolzand I was on the wayyyy it was a long ride like 30/40 mins i just listened to my emo music in the back . when I arrive to his beautiful tall front door nd he opens it this motherfuckr is like TALL AS FUCKKKKK this dudes chin is above the top of my head he mist be six five or some shit . SO SEXY MY HEART IS RACING ! and his apartment is huge and beautiful and clean and perfect . incredible bathtub porn shower amazing place overall. after I peed in his sexy bathroom and checked out my sexy face in the mirror I sat at his kitchen counter and he started rolling a joint immediately the conversation was flowing and natural and amazing . we start smoking the joint he smokes cigarettes too which is hot so I smoke a cig our conversations were wonderful fr i rolled us a blunt we smoked it outside in his cute backyard . he was doing coke too lol! to relight the blunt we came back outside and we got really cozy under a blanket and we started kissing his lips were soft and he kisses with tongue in the sexiest way. also he was kissing my neck so fucking perfectly fuck . he kept telling me how good i tasted over n overrrr (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)we came back inside and continued making out on his amazing couch he touched me so goodddddr and was so verbal communicative i loved it when he undressed me he told me to just stand up a second so he could admire how incredible i looked in the bra.. heheee he was touching me all over n sucking on my titties and grabbing me in alllll the right places okay….. i took my pants off and bra off .. panties …. he’s so big and warm and i love it. he ate me out and played with me and i was sooooo soaked the whole time i gave him wonderful head too mhm and we fucked he was annoyed he was on coke saying that he was gonna fuck me for 12 hours straight next time. i could taste his coke on my lips the bitter chemical taste bleeding into my mouth . he said he wanted to snort a line off my body n was like do it sexy so he snorted a line off my belly and licked the rest off it was hot we took breaks between making out and fucking for water and spliffs and cigarettes . he called me an uber around 1:30 i got home 2 ish and had some food and slept in like a baby till 11 am …. he was so cute and perf and i loved his apartment and his energy and everything he said and the way he touched me his voice his tattoos everything . i really like this guy. i told him about this concert for this dude i’m seeing on friday near his place and he told me to come over afterwards which i love . we already set our plans for the next time im gonna text him tmr to make sure we’re still on n catch his addy :P

[kissmyassorwhatever]

Minhyuk "Stay" FF

Group: Monsta X, Got7 Minhyuk X Reader X Mark Tuan Genre: angst Word count: 5,393 Written By: @Isabellayankosky21 Summary: What seemed to be just like any other ordinary day turned into something dark to fast. You wake up just before it's time you to go to the convenience store you work for down the street. You've been thinking about quitting for awhile now but who’s gonna pay for food and rent. There's a slit in the curtains, letting in light in this cold dark room. The only thing keeping you warm is the covers draped over you with the warmth of Minhyuk’s body against yours. Getting up carefully you make your way to the bathroom, making sure you don't wake him up. Walking out into the patio of Minhyuk’s small apartment you pull out a red Marlboro carton of cigs and a white lighter. Placing cancer right in between your fingers as you slip the end into your mouth and littling the other end with a lighter waking up the chemicals. Breathing the smoke in and resting both hands on the cement barrier, letting your body relax. Taking in a puff and exhaling a cloud of smoke watching it disappear into the air like it was nothing. Feeling two arms snake around your stomach startled you, as a white haired head rests on your shoulder. Minhyuk let's go and takes a cigarette out from its box right in between his teeth and picking up the lighter, watching as the flame illuminate his face in the dark outside world. “Morning” you greet taking another puff, earning a wink from Minhyuk. Putting out your cigarette you embrace him in a hug feeling his bare chest on your body, then leaving to get ready. Sliding on some blackish grey chucks, skinny jeans, a white on black top, and grey sweater you grab your backpack,and phone. Walking into the living room you find Minhyuk putting on a shirt while checking his phone. Tugging on him he turns around giving you his full attention. “I’m leaving for work i'll be home later than usual, that Amanda girl called in sick yesterday so I have to cover for her today. I’ll bring home some dinner after.” “Okay sounds good i’ll see you later.” Pulling you into a kiss. Kissing him goodbye you walked out the front door. Your shift goes by and it's kinda busy. Your co worker Amanda walked in without you noticing. “Hi welcome, wha- I thought you called in sick today, what happened?” “I decided to suck it up and come in anyways. I didn't want you to have to work more than you should have.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah go home and see your boyfriend I got it from here.” Thanking her you grab your bag from behind the counter, clock out and head next door to a pizza place. You order enough for the both of you and head home. Walking up to the apartment door you notice it's dead silent and Minhyuk usually is watching tv with the volume up high. Reassuring yourself Minhyuk was probably taking a nap or something. You opened the door and walked in, the lights were shut off and there was a woman's purse and shoes by the kitchen counter. You started feeling nauseous. Putting everything down quietly you walk down the hallway towards you and Minhyuk’s shared bedroom where you hear giggles from a girl. The door was cracked open and there was a light shining through. Running towards the door pussing it open with full force revealing Minhyuk laying down on the bed while another girl sits on top of him making out. Startling them both the girl jumps off his lap and pulls her dress down. “(Y\N) I-I-I can explain” You don't answer you walk to what was ‘your’ side of the bed where the other woman was sitting. You gave her a death look and she bolted right out the door. You sit on the edge of the bed processing what happened until you eventually start sobbing. Minhyuk wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry.” He whispers. “Get off of me!” you say pushing him off and standing up with both hands in fists. “Is this what you have been doing when i’m at work or you have errands to run?” He just sits on the bed not making eye contact but you can tell he was crying. Turning around you open the closet doors and grab a backpack off the top shelf and a suitcase. “Wh-what are you doing (y\n)?” still you don't answer you're too hurt to look him in the eye. Pulling all your clothes out one by one and stuffing them in. Minhyuk realises what you're doing and gets off from the bed and walks towards you holding your wrist. “(Y\N) I-” “JUST STOP” you say pulling away. “Do you realize how much you hurt me right now? I don't think you do. How long were you gonna do this for? How do you even know her?” he doesn't answer so you start packing again. “Wait wait wait, okay i'll tell you. I’m sorry I really am. She was some girl I met at the store and we started getting close and one thing led to another and now were here. But you have to believe me I was gonna break it off with her.” Tears were streaming down your face, you were hurt. “Was this before or after I was off of work? You know what I can't do this right now.” You hurry up and finish packing and walk out the room. Minhyuk chases after you and pulls your arm making you stop. You turn your head and sure enough he’s crying. “(Y\N) stay…” you shake your arm out letting a tear fall, you grab the food and walk out, leaving Minhyuk on his knees with his head in his hands crying, asking himself how did it all go wrong. And you a couple doors down fallen to you knees thinking how could you be this stupid.

[whizzersalive-blog]

Disappear like Smoke

is my writing still shit? yes. will i stop? no. will i ever edit my writing? probably not. warning for nsfw implied (also i promise this is hernst even tho there is melchior x ernst stick with me okay)

Everyone knew that Melchior Gabor smoked cigarettes. His clothes had the smell ingrained in them and his parents were never home to smell it. Not many people knew that Ernst Robel also sat on his bedroom’s window seat with him and smoked.

“You should tell him,” Melchior said watching Ernst take a drag. The taller boy raised his eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” he asked back. Melchior took a deep breath. He shifted so his back was against the wall. The other copied that movement.

“You should tell Hanschen that you like him,” he replied.

“I know you pride yourself on being very smart, but that’s a really dumb idea.” Melchior chuckled and took the cigarette from his hands.

“It would be a lot easier than taking to cigs and making me listen to you talk about how you found him-”

“Okay that's enough!” Ernst quickly cut him off. “I don't want to ruin our friendship. You know, make it super awkward between us because I like him and doesn't.”

Melchior breathed the smoke out his bedroom window and rolled his eyes. Ernst kept his eyes forward, looking into the forest that Melchior’s room looked onto.

“You know he wouldn't care,” he objected. Ernst’s eyes returned to the boy’s face.

“Exactly! Just another admirer of the great Hanschen Rilow,” Ernst distressed, now snatching the cig from Melchior’s hand. He took a long inhale, feeling the effects of nicotine in his veins, and breathed out. He watched the grey smoke come from his lips. He imagined it as his feelings for his beautiful best friend. Sneaking out. Floating up and away, never to be seen again. He put it back between his lips.

“Is it worth holding everything in?” Melchior sighed. He looked as Ernst stayed silent. All that could be heard was Ernst’s exhale of the toxins.

“He’ll just apologize for not feeling the same and say that we can pretend it never happened. For him it will be normal but I can't just stop feeling all of this that has built up for years, you know? He's told hundreds of stories of people saying how much they like him, and the same line he uses every time. But, this time it will be on me and not some admirer,” Ernst said, voice slightly wavering. Melchior was silent this time.

“You know, I've never kissed a boy before,” Ernst stated. “I made out with Martha before. Did more than that with Thea, which was weird because I was thinking about her brother the whole time.”

Melchior struggled to keep in his laughter and let it slip out. Ernst blushed and pushed his shoulder.

“Shut up!” he laughed. The smaller boy placed his hand on top of Ernst’s. Slowly, their eyes met. He extinguished the cigarette on the ashtray next to them before placing a hand on his cheek.

Both of them leaned in and felt their lips touch. It was barely a second later before Ernst’s hair was between Melchior’s fingers and their lips met again. Soon their movements went from slow and passionate to quick and desperate. Melchior grabbed Ernst by the shirt and lead him off of the window seat onto the bed.

The taller let his back hit against the bed. He took a moment to watch as Melchior swiftly got on top of him. It wasn't long until their lips were on each other's again.

Ernst’s mind raced with so many thoughts because oh my god he's kissing a boy, and oh my god that boy is Melchior Gabor. There probably wasn't a single person on earth who didn't find him attractive.

The boy's mouth went from his lips to neck and hands moved and began to unbutton Ernst’s flannel shirt. His heart pounded so hard he was almost sure that Melchior could feel it himself.

“Hey-Oh shit, sorry,” a voice said with the sound of a door opening. The taller boy quickly moved out from under and sat up.

The person had already left and Ernst ran a hand through his wavy hair while blushing.

“Fuck,” Melchior whispered beside him. Ernst looked over at the others concerned face. “I lost track of time. I forgot everyone was coming over.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Ernst asked, staying seated on the bed.

“I was going to ask of you wanted to stay but, we got…” he trailed off, making it obvious what he was talking about. His blush deepened.

“Did you know who walked in?” he inquired, now standing up from off the bed.

“I was a bit preoccupied,” he spoke. Ernst stood awkwardly.  

“I'm going to go now, I'll see you later,” he said and started his walk out of his room.

He quickly walked down the stairs, but was met by the eyes of the Ilse, Georg, Moritz, and Hanschen sitting downstairs in Melchior's living room. Ernst swallowed thickly as they all noticed his disheveled hair and one third of his shirt unbuttoned.

“Hey!” Ilse smiled as he made his way to the bottom.

“Hi,” he reciprocated.

“We didn't know you would be here! We sent Hanschen to get Melchi,” she said with a smile.

Shit. It was Hanschen.

“Yeah, sorry about my buttons it gets hot in his room when he smokes,” Ernst lied and quickly did them up. “I was just asking about a math problem since he's the only one in AP Stats with me.”

Hanschen raised his eyebrow but the boy ignored the lies.

“You should stay though,” Melchior's voice said from the top. He turned and met his eyes.

“I, uh, have all that work to do anyway. I don't want to get behind,” he rushed. The others in the room protested but Ernst insisted on leaving.

“I'll see you guys tomorrow!” he said as he closed the door. He stood and took a deep breath.

The group of friends all sat together in the library before class started. The conversation was very lively, except that Hanschen was sitting beside Wendla and not Ernst.

“Do you want to meet up in the bathrooms during lunch to talk?” Melchior whispered to him.

“Yeah, I think that'd be good.” Ernst answered. He glances over and sees how Hanschen is somehow completely engrossed in Wendla’s conversation.

The bell sounded from above them and the group quickly stood up and pulled on their backpacks. Ernst waited for Hanschen as the rest of them quickly left. They had walked together to class each morning since the rooms are beside each other. Hanschen’s icy blue eyes scanned to make sure the rest of them were gone before he started to walk with him.

“So you and Melchior are a thing now?” he asked, no emotion in his voice and eyes straight forward. Ernst shook his head immediately.

“It was a mistake. Heat of the moment type thing, did you tell anyone?” he queried with slight concern.

“Oh course not. You've never told anyone anything about me, why would I not return the favor?” the blond chuckled. Ernst felt a pang of jealously from the reminder of the he was told stories from his best friend.

“Yeah, um, thanks,” he added awkwardly.

“It's whatever. It doesn't affect me who you make out with,” Hanschen stated. Ernst felt his emotions flatline. He already knew that Hanschen didn't have feelings for him but it just hurt that much more to hear it. How Hanschen doesn't care that he's walked in on them.

“Okay. I have to go,” the brunette said plainly before taking the last steps to the classroom and quickly getting inside. Hanschen was left out there, really regretting everything.

“Hey,” Melchior called as Ernst walked into the bathroom.

“Hey, I just wanted to say sorry for everything that happened yesterday and leaving without any explanation,” he apologized. Melchi waved his hand as if to dismiss everything.

“It’s all alright. Has Hanschen said anything?” Melchior asked. Ernst silently looked around the room for a moment.

“He asked if we were a thing and I said no but he… uh… said how who I make out with doesn’t affect him,” Ernst answered, head tilted upward to keep the tears in his eyes. Melchior gave him a pitying stare.

“He's lying, you know?” he said, taking a step closer. Ernst stayed quiet. “You just need to push his limits. That, or move on.”

The tall boy chuckled and let his head down.

“Both of those don't seem like good options,” he states while pushing his wavy hair back.

“Well, what are you going to do?” Silence settled between them as he thought. Well, what would he do?

Go back and pretend that he doesn't care. Or maybe confess his feelings and be shot down. Maybe even get a hug out of that. Ernst’s mind drifted to what else Melchior said, push his limits.

The boy grabbed Melchior’s expensive shirt in his hands and pulled him close before starting a harsh kiss. At first, the other was completely shocked. It only took seconds for him to adjust and move his arms around Ernst. The artist reached behind himself and pushed open the stall before leading the both of them in without breaking the kiss.

Ernst moved away in order to lock the cubicle door.

“What are you doing?” Melchior breathed as Ernst’s lips moved to his neck.

“Well,” he spoke and looked into Melchior’s eyes, “I'm going to give you a hickey, you give me one, then I'm going to blow you. I'm thinking you can return the favor.”

The small boy’s mouth hung wide open as Ernst smiled.

“I-The-Is it to make Hanschen jealous,” he stuttered as his neck began to be sucked. The other hummed.

“We could just tell him we did that instead of you literally doing it in the bathroom stall of the school. We could be caught,” he whispered harshly as his belt was being undone.

“That's no fun,” Ernst replied.

“Who knew that the nicest and seemingly innocent boy in our school would be giving a blow job in a bathroom stall just to make Hanschen Rilow jealous,” Melchior sighed as Ernst got on his knees.

Hanschen leaned against the lockers outside the photography room and waited for Ernst to walk out. He couldn't help the longing feeling to talk to him. Hanschen had sat away from him this morning because he was still dealing with the emotions of seeing him with Melchior. Then the boy didn't come to lunch where they would usually sit and laugh together with the group.

“Lost in thought?” Ernst smiled. Hanschen snapped back to reality and looked at him.

“Not anymore,” he replied, a small smile moving onto his face. They both started to walk down the hall.

“Did I tell you that I'm going to submit my writing to this short story contest?” Ernst gushed and pushed open the doors to go outside. Hanschen shook his head and looked back at him.

“I don't know if I'll win, but my teacher thinks it's really good,” he continued as Hanschen took a closer look at something that was peeking out of the collar of Ernst’s shirt.

“Is that a hickey Ernst Robel?” Hanschen semi shouted as he pulled down the collar, already answering his question. Ernst flushed and smacked his hand away.

“I mean- yeah,” he professed quietly.

“Was that there yesterday?” he asked as they started to near their cars.

“I kind of blew Melchior in the bathrooms at lunch.”

“What!”

“And he may of jacked me off.”

“What the fuck!” Hanschen yelled, stopping in front of his parked Range Rover. Ernst covered Hanschen’s mouth with his hand and shushed him. The blond quickly moved the hand away.

“I thought you said it was a mistake?” he growled. Ernst shrugged.

“I don't know it was just, good? He's really hot and I've never done anything with a boy before,” he answered.

“So you did that just to do it?” Hanschen challenged.

“No, I did it because I wanted to,” Ernst said with a sharpness to his voice. “I don't get what's you problem! You said it doesn't affect you!”

“I, uh, I care if you get caught,” he stumbled. Ernst stormed over to his car and opened the door.

“Well then it's my problem!” he shouted with a slam on his door.

Hanschen quietly got in his own car and rested his head on the steering wheel. He can't stop fucking things up.

A few days later Ernst sat on the roof outside his own window. His parents one rule was no smoking inside the house, which most parents rules would be no smoking at all. His parents stopped caring about him right when he told them he was gay. The life they had pictured for him was shattered and so was their love for him. Most days they weren't home, just like Melchior's parents, so it wasn't much of a problem.

So there he was, on the roof of his house with a cigarette between his lips and pretending he wasn't thinking about Hanschen when he was being ‘intimate’ with Melchior at school. He and the blond haven't talked since their fight in the parking lot. He apologized to Melchior for using him, Melchi laughed and said he was available anytime. Since Ernst was kind, he didn't ignore Hanschen’s existence. He just didn't start conversation, but Hanschen wasn't starting it either. Therefore, he was spending this Friday (and weekend, probably) alone.

He watched the smoke escape his mouth, but he saw a car pulling into his driveway. Ernst looked closer and realized it was a Range Rover. He quickly put out the cigarette and threw it far from him. The car parked and Hanschen stepped out with something in his hands.

“Hey, can I come up?” Hanschen asked.

“Sure,” Ernst replied. The boy disappeared from his sight when he walked onto the porch. He could hear noises from the kitchen, then a minute later his door opening and Hanschen approaching the window.

“I made you this,” the blond said, setting a cake down next to Ernst. Written in green icing was “Sorry for being a dickhead”. Ernst smiled as Hanschen climbed through the window and sat on the other side of the cake.

“You're so weird,” he laughed and looked up at him. Hanschen’s blond hair reflected the moonlight and his smile faced the shingles on the roof.

“I never should've said those things,” Hanschen sighed. “I just had my own angry and jealous emotions that made me lash out on you.”

“You like Melchior?” Ernst asked in complete shock.

“No!” Hanschen immediately answered. He handed the brunette a fork from his hand. “I could never like someone who thinks he's above everyone else.”

“Do you have some weird bathroom kink and jealous because I did it before you?” he asked putting his fork into the cake. Both of them burst out in laughter. Hanschen looked at Ernst and pushed his shoulder lightly.

“No again, you pervert,” he laughed as Ernst ate the cake. Ernst felt his heart pound against his ribs. His last thought was maybe Hanschen was jealous of Melchior. But that can't be right. He let it be quiet.

“Sorry if the cake is shit, it's the box kind where you add eggs, water, and oil then bake it. Pretty simple so I can't fuck it up because you know how terrible I am with baking,” Hanschen said taking a bite himself. Ernst shifted towards Hanschen.

“It's great. You even used green,” he noticed as he put his fork in again, admiring the messy icing job.

“It's your favorite color, trying to score some extra points so you really forgive me,” he smirked. Ernst rolled his eyes. On the inside his stomach flipped, Hanschen actually listened to him.

“You shouldn't smoke,” he stated, his blue eyes looking deep into Ernst’s brown ones. Ernst decided not to fight it, knowing he probably saw him when he was pulling in.

“Not like my parents care. God knows they would buy them for me. Anything to make die faster,” he spoke softly. A shiver went through him when a gust of cold wind hit them.

“Fuck your parents. They don't mean shit, I want you to live,” Hanschen barked out. Ernst looked at the stars.

“Lets sit inside it's too cold,” Hanschen said. Ernst nodded and crawled back in his room, the blond following the cake. He set it down on Ernst’s desk and sat next to him on the bed. The artist closed the window before resting his head on Hanschen’s shoulder.

“I missed your voice,” Ernst mentioned as the other’s hand stroked his wavy hair. He pushed his glasses back on his nose. “I missed you caring about my existence.”

“All of us care about you so much Ernst. You really should quit, I wish you told me earlier,” he pointed out. Ernst closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Hanschen’s gentle movements.

The artist’s brain moved miles a second. His thoughts completely scrambled as he internally fought his feelings. His feeling of wanting to tell Hanschen that he likes him more than a friend. That he wants to fall asleep in his arms more than anything else in the world. But he can't lose him now. The closest friend he has ever had. Maybe having him as his best friend is something he can settle-

“I like you a lot Ernst,” Hanschen interrupted Ernst’s thoughts. He moved and looked at the beautiful boy beside him. “I like you in a romantic I-want-to-hold-your-hand kind of way.”

Ernst covered his smile with his hand as Hanschen continued.

“I know I don't have the same poetic way with words you do but, will you be my boyfriend?” he asked looking at him again.

“Yes! Yes yes yes yes!” Ernst shouted, throwing himself at Hanschen with arms wide open. The blond wrapped his arms around the tall boy. Ernst smiled into Hanschen’s neck.

“Thank god, because if you said no I was planing running away as fast as I could,” he chuckled. The brunette lifted his head to look at the other’s blue eyes. 

“I don’t think anyone would say no to you.”

[swearronchanel]

continuing the hiatus with 4.05

Well I'm here avoiding responsibilities as usual, pretending that I don't have class in the morning or any laundry to do but like I said I've been watching shameless and I need a little wholesome ctm to balance it out lol & @ilovemushystuff recommended I watch 4.05 *thank u 😌*but let us go on this journey together 🙃...

the clothes lines remind me of home bc we don't have a dryer in our apartment haha & when it's cold out my mom hangs everything up around the house it's a hilarious nyc struggle lol

my bby shelagh!! 💕 so precious pushing the pram! omg we get to see this again next series *hopefully* with unnamed baby turner 😭!!

aw I miss summer!! I love being out in the summer *plus my birthday is in August*🙃

Ahh aren't we glad Shelagh got new dresses, cause I'm not feeling this one lol

Jenny Agutter's smile w/ her eyebrows raised >>, am I right

Wait this is the osteogenesis imperfecta case right ??

Laura looking angelic but that is not at all new, I just have to always mention it

Now all I can do is stare at her hair bc of this debate earlier 😂 what color?? 

but damn I don't like this dress either I forgot how disrespectful the costume designers were in series 4😂😂

Patrick grabbing her hand saying thank you ugh so pure 😭😢

"Two weeks in Lyme Regis does sound nice" ugh Shelagh's so adorable but LETS HERE IT FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT™ BC SHE DIDN'T EVEN REALLY ASK TO GO ON  HOLIDAY EVEN THOUGH SHE OBVIOUSLY WANTED TO & IN THE NEXT SERIES SHE PLANNED THE WHOLE DAMN TRIP WITHOUT TELLING HIM👏🏼 LOVE IT lol even though camping was a disaster

It's been 3 fucking mins and look at all the shit I've said wow I hate me

Pats and Trix!! I miss their friendship

Haha omg this is right after Trixie and Tom broke up #awkward

"Wild peach, isn't it glorious?" I love my other bby trixie. We are so similar but she's better 💕

PHYLLIS OUT HERE YES

"Roasted like a Sunday dinner" LMAO

aw this is the episode with the Sylheti mum, here's some quality early Babs

SISTER E 😭😭😭 I miss her aww

Omg &Sister Mary Cynthia! she just became a nun aw I miss her being so happy 💔 I hope she's in the Christmas special or Series 7 Premiere

"Ready?" ugh I just think of all the times we're heard that, like Trixie asking Shelagh when she was about to get married *hello my two favs interacting its iconic for me* or when Trixie told Sister MC off she wanted to ask her if she was ready when she went to become a postulant like if she was getting married,  my heart 😭 UPDATE: I made a post about it

speaking of my gal Beatrix here she is again

I want to be that platinum blonde tbh

Sister Julienne saying "little man" yes I'm here for this such thing

little Raymond like ST Raymond or the baby that was left on the steps .. wait what happened to him? I forgot lol it's been a while

I do not like Sister Mj's absence

but yes her nephew! Did he just like stop picking her up??

Aw Trixie wanted to hug sister MC I can tell, nuns can hug though why didn't she?

we were robbed of a cute sister MC & sister W young- nun dynamic duo

but I like sister Winifred so much more now she's lowkey golden

Diphtheria yikes

LMAO FRED HAS A DU RAG ON ??

I forgot that the old nurses uniforms were so washed out looking

sweetie, if a ANGLICAN NUN is telling you the baby needs more than prayer wouldn't you believe it ??

like wtf is Christian scientist anyway, yo no se

lol calm down Barbara that's a lot to translate

woah Pat's looks hella good with her hair like that 😍

my bby Trixie serving looks but is heartbroken 😍😢💔

THE PICTURE OF HER AND CYNTHIA!! THAT IS NOW ON HER VANITY MIRROR !! MY H E A R T

*twerks to the bicycle song*

"She says where he goes, we go - even the moon" ahh again my heart!! & it's so similar to what shelagh said in the last Christmas special 😭💕 *i think it was a bible reference but I can't remember bc my memory is fuzzy from being a reckless heathen* jk jk😂

How does a faja type belt help her?

I initially really liked Trixie and Tom but I'm so glad they found better matches

yo I'd be shook though if my baby's bones kept breaking and I didn't know why omg

The nurses being cute eating popsicles outside lol

aw wait Fred and Violet weren't together yet here, they're so cute haha

again so wild, like imagine no one knowing what your baby is hurt and no one believing that you didn't abuse your child?! I cNt

so scary

Ameerah is so pretty & how sweet omg she brought Babs a dish. She misses having girl friends omg!

The Poor Pentergasts

I feel you Mrs ^, I scream into my hands at least 3x a day *for obvs diff reasons*

Baby Angela💕💕 so precious

aw Patrick & Shelagh😭 but now that shelagh's been on her nightie game this blue nightgown should finally go #hereforthebrinylon™

Shit now Patrick is going to realize and blame himself

let Patrick not feel guilty for anything in series 7, cut this guy a break pls

osteogenesis imperfecta yup I remembered ✔️ well I remember watching this with my mom & her calling if before they knew it and I was annoyed bc She can't just watch she always has to be a nurse & put her opinion out there😂 like we watched the finale yesterday and I thought there'd be some suspense but nah she knew the pill gave her a deadly blood clot😒she was surprised they killed the first women described it to though

Shelagh's face while Patrick gets in the ambulance 😭💔

I miss the nuns singing !! mainly miss Laura singing but still!! it's very peaceful you feel?? let me hear some hymns

I feel you Patrick, you smoke that cig

Alright damn Mr Pentergast, I feel your anger but wtf were they supposed to think??

I get anxious watching Patrick be anxious tbh omg xzjkalsfo

the way he fidgets the pen so relatable

Shelagh kissing him on the forehead and the cheek 😢😭💔💕melts my cold little heart

"I don't want my Geraldine being seen by the receptionist" fuck u lady she's the best damn nurse out here Lmaoo

But seriously did everyone just forget she was a nurse/midwife when she was a nun? it has only been like a year since she left and got married so I wouldn’t think people would forget just yet but maybe? wtf lol. I feel like their story was such gossip that it'd be unforgettable? that's just me Lmaoo

Go get that uniform Shelagh!!!

she's so patient, dios te bendiga. She’s too good.

my angry self would've been like "do 👏🏼 ya👏🏼not👏🏼get👏🏼that👏🏼I 👏🏼was👏🏼 a nurse 👏🏼and 👏🏼delivered 👏🏼like 👏🏼half 👏🏼of 👏🏼your👏🏼 gremlin 👏🏼 children?!" Or "you don't want me to help? Okay there's the door, don't let it hit you on the way out"!

SHE'S GETTING THE UNIFORM PEOPLE

okay I don't think I've ever thought about it until now but Shelagh talks about Patrick's war neurosis with Sister Julienne like she already knew?? I bet Shelagh went to her after the adoption interview 😭

ugh I love their friendship/relationship it's so pure

This whole show is so pure! how can it remind you of the darkness in the world while still giving you faith in humanity??  There's nothing like it

I told you I caught my mom up with series 6 & she was just like "I can't believe we have to wait so long. Why can't America make a show as great as this?"

I then said "I know I have like no reason to live until Christmas" but she said i was being dramatic oops

*cue in the mirror*✨

SHE'S PUTTING ON THE UNIFORM PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL

you guys don't get how happy this made me when I first saw it omg, I was so tired of seeing her sad/upset and lost and distressed and everything but happy but THEN SHE PUT THE UNIFORM ON AND THE LITTLE HAT AND LOOKED IN THE DAMN MIRROR WITH HER MILLON DOLLAR SMILE AND I WANTED TO COMBUST I WAS SO HAPPY I WAS IN TEARS😭😭💖💖

SHELAGH TURNER DESERVES THE WORLD AND MORE, I WILL ALLOW NO ONE TO DISAGREE

AND IF U DO WE CAN FIGHT RN

I'm so proud of how far my bby has come ugh I can't deal

It's 1am why am I being a little emotional bitch™ ?? Ugh I just love this character

I'd fight for Shealgh or Trixie/ Laura and Helen in real life. They are gifts we don't deserve

BUT ALSO, YOU MEAN TO TELL ME ALL THESE PEOPLE DIDNT BELIEVE SHE WAS A NURSE & THEN SAW HER IN A NURSE UNIFORM THE NEXT TIME AND QUESTIONED NOTHING???

Like I know it wasn't the same people but still word gets around?

Shelagh and Tim's hug aww

Can we pls see a cute moment between them? We were played with that hospital scene in 6.4 bc it was like 2 seconds long

Patrick's pyjamas though >

the flat filled with things from patients is so sweet aww

How did no one else in Ameera's house get sick though?

Angela looking so adorable wow what a pretty baby

the real million $ question is, will we ever see Mrs B? Probs not Lmaoo

Still waiting for the day Timothy Turner has an angsty teen moment bc his unrealistic perfect child-ness has been going on too long

Disregarding that time he was mean to Shelagh in series 3, I won't forget it bc I wanted to smack him 😂👋🏼

*shelagh voice* Dr Turner's back to save poplar from ill health and disease

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SHELAGH WHEN HE REALIZES IT WAS HER IN THE NURSES UNIFORM

ALSO I'm sure he realized a kink he didn't know he had lol 😭😂

tracheotomy 😬 how do they make it look so real ahhh!? wild

"..Because I have you" BYEEEE 😭😭💖💔💔💔 my heart melted into a puddle & I can no longer live

the first kiss that you can't even see !! But still it took a season & a half for the married couple to kiss!😂

Ok shh Vanessa is gonna say something profound I must hear

Who tf am i talking to? I'm losing my damn marbles

And yes that's a Hook reference

"Humanity is fragile and all the sunshine in the world can't save the frail or make the delicate invincible but love has the power to strengthen and protect and guide us to a place where we feel sheltered and fulfilled. Where it doesn't matter if it rains for we are home and dry"

UGH SUCH GOLD!!!

And Shelagh holding Angela next to Ameerah and her new baby, my heart!!

such an amazing show

The End.. until next time..

[solasulad]

Two Weeks Worth.

Feb 1st recap

And I can’t believe the lies that I went though

Thought you where mine but you decided to be with him tho

You took my feelings and just through them out the window

Feels like it’s too hard to fall in love again no

On some nights like this shorty I can’t help but think of us

I been reminiscing simply missing ya

Can you tell me what’s with all this distance love?

If I call would you pick it up?

On some nights like this i just want to text you but for what?

You gon say you want me then go switch it up.

Just gon play with my emotions just because..

You gon get my hopes high boy.

How am I feeling?

I cried my eyes out last night because of josh. (Jan 26)

Did a 13 hour shift and closer to 9ish I messaged him asking how he was with his girl? And he replied back saying that

“I decided to say with her and see how things go, I don’t want to ruin anything because of our anniversary and that would break her. So I’m just going with the flow”

I read that message at work and sink in my seat. I felt bad all over again. Like wow.

I don’t know what i was expecting with him tbh. Like he fed me the idea that he was unhappy with his girl, and that’s what i kinda took and ran with it.

I cried so much last night, both eyes tearing when i normally cry form my left only.

I felt my chest getting heavy and my breathing was barely there. Like I was hurt bad. Then i started thinking about all the other guys who’ve put me last.

He wants to protect her and her feelings okay, but also look at mine, I had sex with you, I hung out with you, I make stupid moves and showed you who I was.

I shouldn’t be catching feelings but, once you been shown something that feels so good it’s kind of hard to forget about it.

I asked myself this question last night:

When are these guys going to look at me and see me. When are they going to be like damn I really hurt her. When? Cause I’m giving up at this point.

Even hair.

I went to see him Thursday Jan 26 @ night. Had back and forth messages through text. I made plans to see him Thursday at 6.. but I was running late and there was traffic.. he asked me to come by his ends.. okay.. but when I got there he was in a white van, light tints, parking in an open space.. so i was kind of shocked how low he thought of me. He said he couldn’t hang up the call cause he was on a conference “meeting” call.. so he put it on mute and fucked me right there in the open space next to a church. I felt disgusted with myself afterwards. Like I can’t believe I allowed myself to want that.. met up with Marisa after that didn’t tell her it was Thursday we had sex but told her we fucked Wednesday. I feel no ways towards hair at this point either, cause josh was bigger than him but also how he didn’t care tbh. Like you finger me that’s just it. He doesn’t even eat. And I was doing the most on his dick. Like the fucking most deep throating it, back and forth holding it there for a bit then going on. I don’t even know if he came from head cause he switched me over like 5 mins into it. We fucked, I felt space between his dick I think I got bigger but 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Spoke about josh with Marisa she says he’s a pussy. Which he is. Didn’t tell Marisa about hair cause she would look at me crazy.

Who wouldn’t look at their friend and think of them as a thot or hoe? After fucking a guy in a open space next to a church? Damn.

Feb 7th cont. recap

It’s been 2 weeks so far since I fucked hair..

Didn’t speak to him afterwards or anything, after I left the car he asked me a question saying basically how I want sex but I don’t get it as much as I want. Told him yah and something along the lines of I got a guy but my sex drives on high lately... idk wtf I said but when I left that car I had no intentions of linking him up again.

Josh.

After crying my eyes out, our snap streak died. I also decided to just let it be. I worked that pervious night on the 27th of Jan. So we been just sending memes on insta and Snapchat was pretty dry, on Sunday feb 2nd he has the nerve to message me a snap with 1 second.. I was busy doing school work and replied back along the lines of “you sending 1 second snaps might as well send a nude cause I can’t see shit” so.. he send a dick video.. I sent back a twerking vid (someone I sent to hair) and then.. that was it. He saved the video and nothing else. I went to sleep woke up seen a meme and we never spoke about the video afterwards.. that following week, he messages me saying come by his place and we can go swimming. Uhm.. I did want to go but honestly.. it’s just conflicting cause I’d be holding myself back knowing he has a girl and wants to fuck. So I just lied and said I was busy. On Wednesday night that week, the fuck it in me went thru but instead it was just to “kick it” didn’t bring a bathing suit, went there just to smoke and leave it as is. We smoked in his parking lot basement, felt that all over again, he was talking about my body telling me i got thicker, i just wanted to hang as friends but honestly we could’ve, but i felt his vibe and I left. Now I’m high as fuck and went home. He sends me a message asking when is he gonna see me again. I told him when the weather ain’t shit & that convo died.

Fast forward now to second week of February..

Past Monday he sent a snap with 👀 eyes.

I replied back wassup? He’s like I’m tryna see you.. alright, bam.. I was on the phone with Valentina and then replied back saying what you wanna do? He’s like you... so I let the convo go until he said he wanted to fuck. I paged him saying “you confusing as fuck, don’t be saying one thing and do another” he replied back saying sorry and alright. So fucking short and quick. Wow. I was on the phone with vale during that time and then later on in the night I sent him a snap saying “I just wanna fuck no confusion just fuck?” And he replied back saying the same thing.. then told me to pull up it was like 10 ish at night or so I had shit to do the next morning told him nah can’t but tomorrow...

Now fast forward to yesterday aka Tuesday feb 5.. he messages me in the evening around 5ish saying he finishing up with his lawyer, told him come by my ends. He comes by my ends but I’m paranoid cause my older bros out and i don’t want him seeing me. I pick him up from the station with the quickness. Ended up just driving down the Main Street all the way until I reached downtown. Smh my dumb ass was literally in the heart of the city and I didn’t know what to do. So the car ride was pretty chill we just talked about nothing pretty much. His girl friend wasn’t brought up, his feelings wasn’t brought up but he kept saying things like you cute, sexy ass. Etc to show he was into me. I went in dressed as a niggah. No make up, hair tied back, black sweats and a grey hoodie. Wtf am I looking cute for tryna get some dick?

Anyways. We leave downtown go to a park next to the lake and smoke. The ground is filled with Ice and I’m sliding all over the place in my A1’s. smh. We smoke it’s pretty outside but cold a fuck, we get back in my car & I think the biggest mistake I did that night was giving him the keys to my car. I was high but fuck, I should never allowed him to drive. He drove back to his ends and we said fuck it went into his parking basement and fucked right there. I gave him some head and then said it was time to fuck, he goes in to put it in and I’m like where’s the condom??????!!!!!! He said he didn’t have one and forgot when we went to 7/11.. smh he said he’ll pull out but I was so scared then he went in to give me head tryna get me wet.. like wow this guy is a fucking goof, he knows what he’s doing. After I said I was kinda iffy he went in to get me horny.. smh

We fucking how he’s going in hard and I’m digging my nails into his thigh, I’m pretty sure I left marks.. he pulls out and I felt a drip. He asks me to finish him off by giving him head so I go in. I’m sucking it deep throating it until he says that it’s painful.. okay, so I’m just sucking the tip and moving my hands with his dick.. he kept saying “oh shit” and I didn’t know what was going on thought I was hurting him but after I pulled up he told me he came.. wtf I swallowed it and I didn’t even know?? Kinda disrespectful tbh, like let me know when you coming so I can catch it. Anyhoo, I swallowed and sat up, he said that this was the short amount of sex he had but the most intense ever, lol okay? We leave the parking spot and he drives us out. I don’t want to be seen tbh. So.. we get outside have a cig and then I leave him off. He was paranoid his moms would see him from the window. Smh okay whatever.

I’m ashamed with myself big time but at the same time I wanted that dick so badly. Like confusing as fuck how you want to say one thing then do another...

We fucked and that was that. Wednesday he had to do that immigration stuff so he didn’t really message me or anything, Thursday now; I asked him how it went and he said he got accepted. Okay... wow..

But shits not gonna change. I’m dead ass just leaving it as that, like I caught myself wanting dick again just thinking about Tuesday night smh. Now I have to wait until my period comes to make sure I’m not pregnant. Smh my periods due sometime this week or next week. But woowerz.

Let’s just be friends?

And with being friends you can’t be all sexual towards me. Gotta have boundaries. No hand holding, back grabbing or kissing.

Let’s just fuck?

And with fucking we can’t be friends cause that’s just going to lead to wanting it more than we should. Wanting more than each other’s time.. peeping what we doing and who we with?

Let’s just dead it?

Cause fucking or being friends is just too much at this point. We can both just do our own thing and not worry about each other?

Who knows what’s next cause it feels like at this point shit just happens randomly in life.

[vindicatingchivalry]

Usually how I explain us, the more I do the more I hurt

Dated for 8 months first two were going great until we took acid and I could literally just see on her face she's cheated on me and I was right. That was two months in when I found out. The beginning was a lie. I felt broken I already thought I found my soul mate I wanted to out a ring on her finger. I spent the next 4 hours of my trip trying to talk to her while she went manic and detached. I was never given closure as to why she cheated she told me she thought we wouldn't last and was done. Two weeks later I looked at her phone when she was asleep I found a literal holy fuck ton of nudes and sex tapes pictures during sex... we barely fucked I felt like unloved and unwanted we never took pictures or did anything kinky just plain old sex like once every two weeks because you "weren't in the mood" probably not in the mood for me.... Two weeks later I find her texting a trans girl to guy wanting to fuck behind my back. Then everything settled for a while and it was fine we argued but that's because she cheated and all I wanted was for her to come home at night and stop sleeping over random places because I'm not trying to keep getting fucked over like no trust. That caused some friction because she couldn't handle it, she also had fucked most of her friends so I didn't trust her for shit bisexual and all over town. So arguments about going places or spending the night and shit because she couldn't take no for an answer ever. We barely did stuff or went out because I was never invited to come along her friends hated me because she made them think I was a controlling psycho but she didn't tell them of course all the totally fucked up shit she did. Flash forward some more things are fine like arguing still about going places sometimes bc I'm not invited and I feel left out as fuck in the attic no ac watching your cat. My work schedule flopped to early 8-4 and she had work 3-11 so I used to ask if she could find a ride home sometimes because I was so fucking tired not because I didn't care. She started getting rides from a tire tech that's a coworker and like yeah she then was getting rides from him every day. Then she dumped me on the 4th with no explanation and we've broken up before actually but only for like a night lol. So I was very confused as to why she dumped me in the middle of my shift. She went out to a party with Pete that night while I went home and cried in her bed. She got coked out and drunk and fucked him and cuddled with him all night while I was texting her in bed crying not understanding why and asking her to please be good at the party. I put in my two weeks two days later when I found out she fucked gross pete and probably got diseases. I couldn't move out yet because I didn't have anywhere to go so I was staying there, we still cuddled at night and she still said she loved me and kissed me sometimes and I cried and begged for her love, attention, answers, and all I got was a manic cold wall that couldn't handle any of the reality that was set in. I couldn't handle seeing her at work because we both worked at loves I made it as long as I could before I just crumbled because I couldn't see her and him smoking cigs together outside instead of on break with me. I couldn't do it I snapped one day and just left and didn't come back to work and have been couch surfing for like a week. I'm going to have to move to my mom's that I haven't seen in 6 years because she initially got me kicked out of my house because she stayed for 4 days straight and then I got kicked out and moved in with her because she felt guilty and she had nowhere to go because she didn't want to go matts the kid she woke up and then failed to mention she was at his house and came to mine the same day when we started on Thanksgiving 8 months ago. Cleaned and sucked him off before she left which I funny because I cleaned her room and made the bed every day she didn't want to unless I pleaded her to help. Yeah that's who she cheated on me with though she said she had to talk to him when I was going to work so I dropped her off at the motel where he lived and she said she had a ride in like an hour to leave. But anyways so first matt then pete and all the others inbetween. Caught her texting bodies right in front of me, sending nudes, booty pics. She even has shit in her tumblr of her old ex she never and still never deleted. Tons of people on snapchat that have her nudes saved in chat not removed.. we planned something real together and nothing but games from the start. So I've been couch surfing and had nowhere to go and she had pete in that house when I still had my shit there the other day too and her dad covered for that coke scum fuck. Apparently she hasn't talked to pete in a week or so but bullshit. Then yesterday I asked her if I could have the ticket that was already paid for so I could go to the last warped tour ever after we planned to go together for months I wouldn't even of grouped with her if she didn't want to. But she literally went to Jones beach without me and scalped my ticket at the gate at Jones beach. Her mom gave her 400 bucks that she said she spent and probably blew all on drugs, you can't spend 400 in two days besides coke. I haven't been to a beach in like 5 years and we never went to a concert together. Weirdly after all this I still love her and want her back because my heart is too big. Sigh. I've been suicidal and beyond depressed not eating sleeping, drinking puking. Just sitting around thinking about her and how wonderful everything was back then. She won't even text me now and I'm honestly just beyond my pain threshold I just wished she loved me forever like she promised. I want her back so badly I can't even describe It in words. I still want forever, I gave her a stick and poke tattoo and we spent so much good time together. I taught her how to play xbox and everything we really loved each other. I will miss my perfect little home, best time of my life and her cat that we lived with in the attic. I hate the feeling I'm left with while I just sit around crying wishing she'd even remotely care again and just come back to me and snap out of it.