#but then won't actually care to get to know the person

[navybrat817]

Hold You Tight: Part 25

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 24 | Series Masterlist | Part 26

Chapter Word Count: Over 4.2k

Chapter Summary: You want to feel normal after your ordeal, but change won't happen overnight.

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of violence, crying, assault aftermath, inner turmoil, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight, and thank you for sticking with me! Can you believe it has been almost here since we started?! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo. ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby and @mumbles411 , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-in-darkness . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You woke up earlier than you expected, but made no move to get out of bed. Your body felt stiff when you tried to sit up, which was to be expected since Clark threw you to the ground pretty hard. Being prepared for it didn’t stop you from tearing up. You blinked the tears away when you realized Bucky wasn’t in the room.

You barely said a word after you left the club, and you didn’t protest when he held you close in the car. It was like he needed you in his arms to chase away his remaining demons, and you needed comfort as well. But once you were back at the penthouse, he led you to the guest room instead of the master bedroom. He let you be while you robotically went through your nighttime routine. And he didn’t make a move when he got in bed beside you.

“I just want to make sure you get some sleep,” he told you, his hold tender instead of smothering.

Before you sleep took hold, you heard him whisper that he loved you.

Had he snuck out during the night, or did he get up not too long ago?

Grabbing your phone from the nightstand that Bucky graciously plugged in, you were glad you were alone. You didn’t want Bucky or any of his men hovering while you called Mrs. Crandle. It was bad enough you were calling in when you just wanted the sense of normalcy and control in your life, but what were the chances you’d make it through the day without breaking down?

You held your breath when you dialed and waited for Mrs. Crandle to answer. It didn’t take long. “Hello, dear.”

“Hi, Mrs. Crandle,” you tried to smile, but there were already tears in your throat. “I’m sorry to bother you.”

“You are never a bother,” she promised, which only made you feel worse. “Is something wrong? Are you okay?”

“I…” What were you going to tell her? “I’m dealing with something very personal right now, and I don’t… I don’t think I can work today. I’m so sorry.”

It wasn’t a lie. You were dealing with something personal. It didn’t stop you from feeling like you were letting her down.

“Oh. Oh, dear. You take the day off, and don’t worry about finding someone to cover for you. I’ll take care of that,” she assured you, knowing you weren’t the type to make excuses to skip a shift.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on, that’s your business, but is there anything I can do to help?”

You squeezed your eyes shut. She was so kind, always looking out for her staff. “Just… keep being the wonderful boss and person you are.”

“Oh, I will. And you tell that man of yours he’d better be helping one of my favorite employees with whatever’s going on,” she said.

A laugh almost came out. If she only knew. “I’ll tell him,” you said, sitting up straighter when you remembered something. You were concentrating so much on ther other things last night you had forgotten that Zemo met up with her. How could you forget about that? “Before I hang up, I wanted to ask. Did you win an all expenses paid trip to a flower expo?”

“Why yes, I did! Can you believe it? The man I spoke to actually contacted me this morning to make sure I was still going.” You gripped the phone tighter. Zemo had promised to back off, so why continue the charade of the expo? Unless it was legitimate, and letting Mrs. Crandle go was part of the olive branch to you. “I was going to ask if you possibly wanted to go, but if you’re dealing with something-”

“Then it’s probably best that you bring someone else,” you finished for her. “I understand.”

“It would be nice if you could go. I think you’d like Gotham,” she said, making your heart drop. Gotham, where Clark wanted to take you. “But we can discuss that later. You take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will, thanks.”

You put your face in your hands once you hung up. It was all supposed to be over. You hoped it was. Mrs. Crandle deserved only good things, along with everyone you cared about.

You went quickly through your morning routine, and heard chatter once you finally went into the hall. You stood still, torn between eavesdropping and heading to the kitchen for breakfast. Your curiosity got the better of you and you tiptoed down the hall toward an open door- Bucky’s office.

You stopped when you heard Curtis speak.

“You really think she’ll go for that?”

Go for what?

“You’ve already been keeping an eye on my girl from a distance, but she needs a bit more. She needs a real bodyguard,” Bucky replied, your eyes wide. A bodyguard? How the hell would you explain that to your friends? “Last night proves it,” he added with a bite to his voice.

“Why not Ray? From what I’ve seen, she trusts him,” Curtis said, which was true to an extent.

“I could have Ray be her bodyguard, but then I’d need you to be by my side and we know you don’t like being at the club,” Bucky pointed out. “You barely tolerated being there last night.”

Why did guilt fill you? Was it because Curtis put himself in an uncomfortable situation because of you? If you hadn’t been attacked, he would’ve stayed hidden in the shadows.

“She may be grateful that he helped her, boss, but do you think she’ll want him as her bodyguard?” Ray asked. “Or that she’ll want a bodyguard at all?”

“If not Curtis, who else? It’s the best choice,” Bucky replied, which was met with silence. The men must’ve known not to argue further. “And whether she wants one or not, it comes with the territory.”

You exhaled through your nose. Comes with the territory whether you wanted it or not? It was too early for that shit.

“You know, for starters, it would really help if you all asked me,” you said, making your presence known as you walked in. Bucky stood up, alarm in his eyes, while Ray and Curtis looked at you with unreadable expressions from their chairs. “But I guess we’re right back where we started where what I want doesn’t matter.”

Was Bucky going to make you live the rest of your life like that? Would he dictate whatever he wanted while trying to paint it as doing the best thing for you? How could he call that love?

For a moment you thought Bucky looked upset because you were eavesdropping, but he rushed around his desk to you and you knew that wasn’t the case. “Kotyonok, you should be resting.”

“Did you not hear a word I just said?” you asked, stiffening only for a moment when he got closer and reached for you.

You inhaled and exhaled slowly. Bucky wasn’t Clark. He wouldn’t throw you to the floor. He wouldn’t try to choke you.

“I did, and we will talk about that. I’m just glad to see you still have your spirit,” he smiled softly, slowly framing your face with his hands. Your spirit was both itching for a fight and begging for rest. “How are you feeling?”

“Stiff,” you admitted. A bath in that wonderful soaker tub of his would hit the spot, which you would take advantage of later. “But I don’t need any painkillers before you ask.”

He frowned and dropped his hands. “Lay down,” he urged, nodding toward the sofa a few feet from his desk. “It’s very comfortable, trust me.”

You huffed, but went to lay down as instructed. It was only because you were stiff and still tired. Before you could spread out on the sofa, Bucky took a seat on one end and patted his thigh. “What are you doing?” you asked.

“Rest your head here,” he urged, patting his thigh again.

You snuck a glance at Curtis who looked like he was fighting a smile. Ray hung his head a little. “You want me to lay with my head in your lap in front of them?” you asked.

“They're going to see us for the rest of our lives,” Bucky said, tossing an arm on the back of the sofa. “Please, lay down.”

You blinked, remembering the night he broke in and sat waiting on your sofa like he owned the place. The darkness in his eyes, the smirk on his face. But now? He only looked like a concerned boyfriend.

“Unbelievable,” you muttered, getting as comfortable as you could while resting your head in Bucky’s lap. You opted to curl up facing away from him so you weren't staring directly at his crotch.

Bucky caressed your arm, his touch featherlight. “Is this okay?” he asked.

You tilted your head back. He was asking if it was okay to touch you? “It's fine,” you replied.

You caught the soft smile he gave you before you faced forward again. It was strange how people called you Bucky’s queen when you didn't feel like one. What kind of queen curled up with a king in front of their council? Didn't queens stand tall and proud?

“You're thinking too loud,” Bucky whispered.

How did he know? “I think Zemo contacted Mrs. Crandle,” you said.

“He did,” Bucky confirmed, continuing to caress your arm when you tensed up. “You didn’t think I forgot about her, did you? I’ve had someone keeping an eye on her since Zemo met her up with her.”

You remembered. No one knew Zemo’s angle at the time. “But I didn’t…” You sniffled and felt Bucky’s muscles tense beneath your head. “I didn’t even ask about her last night.”

You asked about Lois and your friends, but not your boss.

“You were attacked and you’ve been dealing with so much. Last night was about getting answers for you and the fact that you went to the club after what you went through is nothing short of amazing,” Bucky said, refusing to let you blame yourself for any of it or let you argue. “Mrs. Crandle will be fine. Nothing's going to happen to her. Zemo just couldn't back out of the expo because it would've hurt or upset her, which would have upset you.”

“And he wants to stay on my good side after last night,” you guessed. So it was an olive branch of sorts. “It’s taking place in Gotham.”

That couldn't be a coincidence.

“Another possible way to get you out of the city, but there was no way to guarantee Mrs. Crandle would've asked for you to go with her,” Ray spoke up. “Not to mention Zemo would've had to handle her if you were missing, which could get messy.”

You shivered and Bucky suddenly had a blanket over you. It would've destroyed her if you went missing while on a trip with her, and your heart could hardly bear the thought of Zemo hurting her or getting rid of her. “So, she’ll be okay?” you asked.

“She’ll be just fine,” Bucky promised.

Your fingers curled in the blanket. “I’m trusting you, Bucky,” you whispered, hoping it was a promise he could keep.

His hand froze and you could sense the emotion in his eyes without looking at him. “Thank you.”

“Curtis?” you asked, his blue eyes meeting yours to acknowledge you. “I know you suggested Ray and I appreciate that, but would you like to be my bodyguard?”

Having a bodyguard was another step in the path of accepting your place in Bucky’s life. But if there were other enemies out there or anyone simply interested in using you as a means to get some of Bucky’s fortune, it was better to have protection. At least for now.

“I already-” Bucky began.

“I’m asking him and giving him a choice,” you cut him off. Yes, Bucky had his mind made up that Curtis would be your bodyguard, but you still wanted to ask. “I think I’ve earned that privilege.”

“Who am I to argue with my queen?” Bucky teased.

Curtis chuckled and you found yourself smiling a little. Even Ray looked like he wanted to smile. “Since you’re asking, the answer is yes.”

“Thank you, Curtis,” you said, closing your eyes. “Can we sort the details out later?”

“Of course,” Bucky replied. You had a feeling he would be the one handling that anyway. “You just need to relax.”

You were trying, but he was making you relax with him. “I need things from my apartment, like my bridesmaid dress,” you said.

“We’ll handle whatever you need so you don’t have to go back there,” Bucky assured you.

You bit the inside of your cheek. It was still him or his men going through your things, your memories. “I need other things. Stuff to bake the brownies, and things to make arrangements here.”

“Again, whatever you need,” he smiled. He’d probably make you a greenhouse on the roof if you asked.

“And I need to get in touch with Natasha so I can-”

“That doesn’t sound much like relaxing,” Bucky gently said. You huffed in response. Sitting around doing nothing wouldn’t do you any good, even if your body was screaming at you not to push it. “But I am arranging our movie and pizza night tonight, so that should help you relax a bit.”

You did agree to that the night before. “I think I want to go to the library,” you said. It was the one place Bucky said he wouldn’t enter without permission and none of his men were allowed in there.

You held your breath and waited for the argument, for Bucky to tell you to stay put. Instead, he carefully helped you sit up. “I’ll take you there and I’ll bring you something to eat, okay? You haven’t had anything yet, have you?”

“No, I haven’t,” you admitted. You called Mrs. Crandle first thing and went to find him.

“Well, let’s change that,” Bucky smiled, helping you to your feet. Ray and Curtis began to stand before their boss motioned for them to sit back down. “I’ll be back shortly,” he said, guiding you out and closing the door behind him.

You glanced back and remembered he had the door open while he spoke with Ray and Curtis. Had he done that as a way to build your trust, to show that he wouldn’t hide things from you? Was he going to make an effort?

Bucky stopped at the library door and kissed your forehead. “I’ll grab your phone for you, too, okay?”

“Okay,” you said, stopping when you took two steps in. “Did you stay with me all night?”

He nodded when you looked back at him. Had he held you? Kissed your forehead? Whispered to you to make any bad dream go away? “I wanted to make sure you slept peacefully, although…”

“You wish I’d sleep in our bedroom.”

His eyes lit up at the realization that you didn’t say his bedroom. “In time,” he whispered, walking away without another word.

You exhaled and went to select a book. Your fingers moved along the spines, recognizing some classics as well as modern titles. But you didn’t pick one, your eyes unfocused.

Curtis was going to be your bodyguard. Your life changed so much that you’d need someone watching you at all times. Would he hang around the shop while you worked? Would he linger nearby when you went out with your friends?

Could you even invite the girls to the penthouse?

You stood at the bookshelf long enough for Bucky to come back and clear his throat from the doorway. “Do you want me to bring the tray in?” he asked, holding it up for you to see. Not only did he have plenty of food, a drink, and your phone, he also had a bright flower in a small vase. It was sweet.

Shaking your head, you went to him. “I can take it,” you said, not wanting anyone in your sanctuary at the moment.

If Bucky was hurt by declining his offer he hid it well. It meant a lot that he kept his word and didn’t go in. That was progress. “You’re not okay, are you?” he asked, your eyes connecting.

You gripped the tray hard when you took it. “I’m just taking it one moment at a time,” you answered. It was all you could do. “Could you please shut the door?”

Bucky didn’t hide the hurt this time. It wasn’t just shutting the door, you were shutting him out. “Sure,” he whispered, the door softly clicking shut when you turned your back to him.

As you sat and ate, you let a few tears fall before you finally selected a book. You were unsure of the next steps, and you mourned, but you weren’t sure exactly what it is you were mourning. A piece of your innocence? A normal future?

Bucky, for his effort, gave you space when you refused to come out after breakfast, leaving your tray outside of the door and refusing to say a word to him. He brought you lunch as well, one of your favorites, and left you another flower and a small sheet of paper that read, “I love you, Kotyonok.” You thought about crumbling up the note, but you put it on the table with the flowers.

Every now and then you’d look around and swear that Clark was there watching you in the shadows. It was your mind playing tricks on you, of course, but you kept your eyes on the door in case someone tried to come in. You swallowed bitterly, hating how afraid you were. How would you conquer that?

The girls in the group chat all mentioned taking it easy today, which brought tears to your eyes all over again. They were taking it easy because they were exhausted, and they were exhausted because they were drugged. All of that because of you. It was your fault. It was all your fault.

No… it was not your fault. None of this was your fault. “It’s not my fault,” you whispered tearfully, gripping your head to quiet the taunting voice that blamed you. “It’s their fault.”

Everything in your mind swirled until it became a tornado, destroying everything in its path. It felt harder to breathe, like something was closing around your lungs. You had to calm down before you spiraled. You needed…

“Bucky!” you shouted.

You barely made it to the door when you heard footsteps race down the hall. The door flew open and Bucky stood with wild eyes, struggling to rush in and pull you toward him since you hadn’t told him to come in. “Kotyonok, what-”

“Tell me you won’t hurt my friends,” you demanded, a sob coming out when you pointed at him. You had to hear him say it. “Tell me.”

Bucky flinched when you gasped for your next breath. “I won’t hurt your friends.”

“Tell me it isn’t my fault,” you continued, shoving him back. You could hear Ray and Curtis in the hall, but you paid no attention to them. “Tell me what happened isn’t my fault.”

“None of this is your fault, do you hear me?” he said through his teeth, his anger directed elsewhere and not at you. “None of it.”

The spiral in your mind began to slow. “Tell me you won’t hurt me,” you barely whispered. “If you really love me you won’t hurt me.”

He made a wounded sound like you saying the words hurt him. “I won’t hurt you,” he promised.

Your shoulders slumped. You believed him, damn it. Why? “I’m sorry. I…”

Bucky waved a hand for Ray and Curtis to stay back before he extended it to you. “Come with me.”

You hesitated before you wiped your eyes and took it. You didn’t realize he pulled you toward the living room when the scent of freshly baked pizza and popped popcorn reached your nostrils. “What…”

Bucky had pizza, popcorn, snacks, and drinks set up along with blankets. “Our movie night,” he reminded you, guiding you to sit down. Had you been in the library so long that it was nighttime? “But before we do anything else, I need you to breathe.”

“Hurts,” you whispered. It hurt to think, hurt to feel, hurt to breathe. Why did it feel so hard today?

“I know it hurts, but you’ll get through the hurt because that’s how incredible you are,” he whispered back, pulling you into his arms to rock you. He breathed slowly, urging you to follow his rhythm. “There you go. Breathe. Good girl.”

You took another deep breath, ignoring how the praise relaxed you. “I didn’t bake today,” you said sadly. You wanted to make those brownies for Curtis. “I didn’t make any arrangements.”

You didn’t contact Natasha to set up those self-defense lessons. You didn’t figure out when you’d visit Lois. God, you didn’t even take that bath. Wallowing in self-pity led you to hiding in the library all day, but maybe you needed it more than you knew.

“It’s okay that you didn’t,” Bucky said, kissing your temple and wiping more tears away. “I know you want to bounce back immediately, but you have to give yourself grace.”

He was right about that. “I shut you out,” you said. You shut him out in his own home. Why? To punish him for his part in all of this? To be in control?

He sighed and only held you closer. “I deserved it,” he whispered, rubbing your back. “But we’ll be okay.”

He said it like he was fighting for you, for each other. “I just want to feel normal,” you said, giving him some insight into your thoughts and feelings.

“And you will. We’ll take it one moment at a time.”

A few minutes passed while he held you, and you eventually put your head on his shoulder. He held you so much in the last few days. You wanted to feel strong and not feel afraid anymore. You wished that could happen overnight, but you needed patience and grace.

And Bucky, well, he would need to accept his hand in this. He had to see you at a low point so that he’d never want you there again. He had to see you broken so you could build yourself again, with or without his help. Because if he wouldn't love and accept you at your lowest, then he didn't deserve you at all.

“So, what are we watching?” you finally asked.

“You said you wanted to pick the movie,” he reminded you.

He listened. He remembered. “Something funny,” you said. Something that wouldn’t upset you or make you think.

“Comedy it is.”

Bucky waited on you hand and foot during the movie, making sure you were comfortable while you ate. He had an arm around you when you weren’t eating, but didn’t let his touch wander. It took a bit, but you eventually laughed during the silly moments in the film, and he gazed at you like the sun rose in front of his very eyes.

You stole a glance after a few more minutes and found him staring at you instead of the screen. Unable to help yourself, you tossed a bit of popcorn at him. He blinked twice in shock while you tried not to laugh. “Did you just…”

“Toss popcorn at you? Yes,” you said, looking back at the screen before popcorn hit your cheek. “Hey!”

He licked the salt and butter from his fingers. “Oops,” he teased. “C’mon, Kotyonok. I had to defend myself.”

One second you were staring at each other and the next second turned into a full blown battle. Popcorn and candy went everywhere as you threw everything within reach and you found yourself laughing when a piece of candy landed in his open mouth. He growled and gently tossed snacks back at you, making you laugh harder.

It was ridiculous. Silly. Unexpected. It felt like… a real date.

“I’m not cleaning this up,” you giggled once the battle ended, gesturing to the mess. At least you didn’t spill any of the drinks. “And I think I won.”

“I have people for that, and we’ll call it a tie,” he smiled, brushing a thumb over your cheek. “Fuck, you have a beautiful smile.”

Your breath caught in your throat. He wanted to kiss you, you could feel it, but he didn’t lean in. He waited for you instead. You didn’t kiss his lips, you were still too raw for that today, but you did kiss his cheek before you put your head back on his shoulder.

“Thanks for this,” you whispered. It was only the first day since the incident, but he was trying and you had to give him that.

“Thank you,” he whispered back, leaning his head on yours. “I’ve got you.”

“I know.”

And resting in his arms like an actual date, you were blissfully unaware of the missed calls and texts from your mom.

Our poor girl. Let's hope Bucky keeps trying. And let's hope Mom's messages aren't a bad thing. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[olderthannetfic]

So I'm not looking for validation because I'm aware that I'm 101% the asshole here, but I need to get this off my chest.

I don't want to make "real" friends in fandom.

I come to fandom for escapism, and I look for fandom community online because it's a very, very rare hobby where I'm from and I have nowhere else to engage with it. I want fandom friends. I want to talk Blorbo, HC, AU, OTP, NoTP.

I already have friends in real life to discuss politics, work, family and what color I'm doing my nails this week - people who are from the same socio-cultural and religious background as me.

But I keep running into truly wonderful people in fandom who are very much looking to "deepen" our friendships beyond fandom (which is understandable! People look for community and friends! Good for them!) and I don't know how to tell them that no, this is not what I want.

Online fandom is very West- (and especially US-) centric and life there is so far removed from my reality that any personal interaction beyond entry-level "I'm from ABC, work XYZ, married, weather is nice" devolves into me being a cultural ambassador on the positive end of the spectrum, or being told something low/high key racist or ignorant on the negative end.

And while I love being a cultural ambassador once in a while, that's not a basis for actual, personal friendship to me. I don't want to explain all the personal and social pressures due to which I have to care for my husband's aging parents, for example, and discuss the state of feminism and #girlboss and my place in it before I'm able to lightly vent about family. I'd rather go straight to Blorbo Hot and let the vent dissipate by itself or save it for a personal friend later.

So while I appreciate that my fandom friends are truly nice, interesting, intelligent people, I do not want to talk about my personal life, I will not discuss theirs so as not to invite reciprocal questions, and I will hope they understand that Blorbo Talk is already literally the deepest, most meaningful thing that they are uniquely equipped to gift me with.

I do feel terrible for nipping in the bud sincere attempts to "deepen" friendships, but I do not want that. I try to be the best fandom friend I can, but if you're not at least somewhat personally familiar with the realities of my culture already, my personal life is off the table.

And this is all, really. Thanks for lending me your front porch, OTNF!

--

Sounds legit. If it's that much effort to explain the context for the vent, venting won't be letting off steam: it will be work.

[the-clumsywitchtarot]

What Financial Doors Are Opening for You? Pick-a-Card Reading

Because we all want to know about the bag.

Cards

Ace of Swords

The World

Queen of Swords (Reversed)

For this pile the world card sticks out for me, you could have been contemplating travel for some and others have been wanting to reinvent themselves. Whichever case, I feel like you were worried about where the money was going to come from or at the very least trying to think of how you could make extra money to do either one of these things. For those that are looking to travel I feel like you have at least three destinations in mind but you were thinking you'd have to save for a while before you could take that dream trip. And for those looking to reinvent yourselves, I feel like you are either wanting to change the decor of your home or room or you'd like to change your aesthetic/clothing style. For this pile I feel like going forward with actually planning to do/buy these things is what will open the door to the financial increase you're looking for. Now before you go and buy that new $1,500 handbag or book an all inclusive trip to Scandinavia, listen further to what I'm saying. I am not saying to buy it now I'm saying plan for it, so for instance if you want to take a trip, look into all of the details and actually plan as closely as you can without booking the trip. And for those looking to restyle themselves or their homes, look for all of the clothes or decor you want, create an account on the website you find it at, and add it to your cart. I'm basically saying go through all of the steps except for actually purchasing. This will create momentum, I'm seeing the domino effect, this act will be the first domino to knock down the rest resulting in an increase in your finances. I also feel like this financial blessing won't come as actual money for everyone that chooses this pile. Some of you will get the money and others of you will receive such good deals and bargains that it greatly reduces the prices of the things you want to purchase.

Keywords: Kailee, white poodle, yellow rain boots, red fire hydrant, cobblestone road, vintage Volkswagen beetle

Cards

Queen of Pentacles

Ace of Cups

9 of Swords (Reversed)

This pile reminds of pile 1 in the sense that I feel two different energies. I feel like both groups of people who will choose this pile are at their wits end, you may feel like no matter how hard you work you can never make ends meet or you only have just enough and you never have any extra money. For the first group of people I feel like the financial doors opening for you will be due to a new love, someone that will either provide for you or greatly lessen the load for you. For some of you this person could lead to getting a better job (I mainly feel like this is for those of you that feel weird about being taken care of). For the other group in this pile I feel like your financial blessing will come in the form of a side hustle but it's one that you really enjoy. I could see some of you being artsy and making little miniature paintings and selling them on Etsy or some place similar, I also see some of you cooking to make a little extra money. Whatever the side hustle I feel like you'll be making much more than you thought you would. Some of you may even be able to start working part time at your main job because of this side hustle.

Keywords: Blue bouncy ball, butterflies, torrential downpour, red lipstick, fashion shows, bookstore

Cards

The Fool

7 of Wands

Kings of Cups

I feel like this group is beginning to see the fruits of their [hard] labor. I feel like the majority of the work this group has put in has been more on the spiritual and emotional levels. It could be working on your inner child, getting deeper into your spirituality, or just acknowledging that you matter. These may seem like easy things to do for some people but in actuality for others, which I believe this group is among the others, it can be very hard work through because there can be a lot to unpack. But I feel like you've done the work and now you'll be rewarded in your finances for it. It could be that before you didn't have the energy or you didn't feel worthy of going out for a particular job that may have paid a certain amount of money but now you feel like you're qualified for it and you feel like you have the energy and stamina to actually do the job. I also see this job being quite fulfilling to you and it may have been something you've wanted to do for a long time.

Keywords: Pepperoni pizza, pickles in a pickle jar, sunshine yellow, a library you visited as a child, nostalgia

Cards

Ace of Wands

2 of cups

The World

For this pile I see a spark of creativity being the means to the financial door opening for you. With the two of cups I really feel like this is going to be a collaboration with a friend that helps to push the financial door open (even though I know most people associate the two of cups with a couple). I feel like you and this friend could start a small business together, I'm not seeing a specific business as I feel like there could be many. I mainly feel like whatever is a shared interest between you and your friend will be the business. For some of you this could be a hobby that both you and your friend enjoy and for others this could be an actual profession that you both happen to have. I feel like you and your friend may start locally and be comfortable with it just being local but at some point I feel like it will expand, if not globally it will at least be a nationwide company. For a lot of you I'm feeling like this could be a boutique.

Keywords: Cuban link chain, white ballet flats, pink fur coat, vintage Barbie, escalator, frolicking, park

Thank you for stopping by and please feel free to let me know which pile(s) you chose!

All the very best to you 🩷

- Erika, The Clumsy Witch

[thedaddycomplex]

You know how all of these companies are cutting staff and letting AI do a lot of the work? Well, it doesn't exactly pan out, like, ever.

I, for one, keep getting texts from an "AI assistant" where I get my car serviced about an upcoming appointment I never made. And when it asks if it should connect me with a service person to deal with the issue, I point out it's an issue the goddamn AI created, so it can fix it its motherfucking self. It's a fun little dance we do about once a week.

Anywho, the venerated Chicago Sun-Times published an insert with an article on summer reading suggestions. This article was created using AI and many of the books suggested simply don't exist.

*sad trombone noise*

Some will argue that this was for a seasonal insert and not exactly officially part of the actual paper. In fact, the Chicago Sun-Times did just that...

But, see up there at the top of the page?...

...Sure makes it look like an exactly official part of the actual paper.

And sure, this could be just a harmless and embarrassing lesson for the self-proclaimed "Hardest Working Paper in America" (and the other papers that picked up the article and also ran it — oops!), but it does speak to a much larger, much more serious, much more complicated problem.

A huge swath of the country simply don't trust the news anymore. It's a problem that has many sources, a few of which are:

The Trump administration's repeated use of the phrase "fake news" whenever there's a hard question or critical article

The very fucked up fact that billionaires own most of the news outlets in the country and are killing stories about Trump as they line up to suck his deformed little knob

The sad truth that these outlets are more and more turning to AI for some of the heavy lifting, a tool that has been proved easily manipulated and horribly flawed again and again and again

Why should you care?

I've said this before and I'll say it again: Journalism Saves Democracy.

Journalism is the only profession mentioned in the U.S. Constitution for a reason. It's supposed to keep power in check and inform the public. That's why people call it the Fourth Estate.

Now, one silly reading list won't topple journalism. But, it's one more mistake, one more small reason to be dubious of the Chicago Sun-Times, and one more thing that supports "fake news" claims — all because some rich guy decided to save some money by firing staff and handed the keys over to AI.

And it comes at a time when we've never needed the Fourth Estate more.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Being told "you're so self-aware, I don't know how I can help you" is really crazy to me because maybe I want to know that someone cares. That I'm not a run of the mill "woe is me" case just because I can put a name to the trauma and disabilities. It's hard to be the person nearly always taking care of other people, knowing that I won't get the same back. Is that awful of me?

No I honestly wish more people knew that usually we aren't expecting final solutions to our problems just because we have a need to talk about them and process them, like you don't have to fix it no one is actually expecting you to fix it - just listen and sympathize! Luckily this is in many cases something you can explain to people

[childotkw]

Omg, I also can't see Voldemort with anyone but Harry. I agree that Harry isn’t as intellectually or magically special, or morally aligned as some of the Death Eaters Voldemort is shipped with, but that never struck me as important when it comes to Voldemort falling in love. Voldemort is already above everyone in terms of power and intelligence, and I feel like he always saw powerful people as merely useful or interesting company, but never as a direct path to forming a genuine bond. I can see him enjoying the company of people who agree with him, but that's it. I just can't see him loving any of his Death Eaters, although I can see him caring for them in his own way. I see Voldemort’s relationship to love and his ability to feel it differently, but I guess I can understand why people might think he could only ever be genuinely interested in powerful, highly intelligent, or morally agreeable individuals. I think that’s one of the reasons people don’t ship Harrymort. But to me, that’s not how I see him at all. I don’t think mere good company is enough to make him actually connect. I know that normal people usually work like this, common interests, shared laughs etc. make you fall in love, but Voldemort is just...not like that. Idk, I guess it depends on who you want Voldemort to be. We never saw all of his sides in the books.

I agree with you! I always operate under the assumption that catching Voldemort's interest is pretty easy. He's attracted to intelligent, unique, powerful or influential people. He likes to collect them, likes to understand them, likes to control them. It's never surface level - if Voldemort decides you're interesting, he won't stop until he's uncovered every aspect of you that first drew his attention.

But once he has you mapped out? Once he knows how you work and what makes you tick?

His interest tapers off quickly.

That's partly why I like writing him. He's a very desire-driven character. He goes after what he wants, and then once he has it, he picks the next thing and goes after that.

Knowledge. Spells. People. All of it falls under the same pattern.

Occasionally, he'll like someone enough that he wants to keep them, or sees value in their continued existence by his side, but he's much like a kid writing their name on their property so no one else takes them.

That's why I think Tomarry / Harrymort are such an interesting pairing.

Because Voldemort never gets Harry.

Harry is, in a lot of ways, unquantifiable to Voldemort. Their pasts and traits are similar, yes, and while that should mean that Harry isn't difficult to understand - the truth of the matter is they are also incredibly different.

Harry truly is Voldemort's equal, and probably the only person to ever live who could keep and hold his interest.

[towasdandelion]

HIII HELLO IM HERE AGAIN I LOVE UR POSTS TOO MUCH WHDHSJDJJS EVEN THO I FEEL LIKE A MAN WITH TOO MUCH AUDACITY WHEN I SEND AN ASK 😭😭😭

may i request for sinostra and vagastrom/frostheim for the when you get injured during a mission without them 🙏🙏🙏 the first part was too good I NEEDD TO SEE IT WITH ROMEO AND SHO OR JIN HEHEHEHE

OFC TAKE UR TIME NO RUSH!!!! THANK YOU USER TOWASDANDELION ILY PLS DONT EXPLODE 🩷🩷🩷🎀🎀

Hi there (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠) Thank you for reading my work!! The requests exist for a reason so it's all good hehe. Also don't worry I'm not planning to explode anytime soon! (⁠*⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠)⁠/⁠～⁠♡ I still have too many smaus to write after all hehehe. Well, I hope you like it!

Sinostra and Vagastrom when you get injured during a mission without them

Romeo got just a little bit angry. He threatened told the ghouls to keep you safe and this is what happens? And to top it off you were trying to hide it from him? Girl be ready for a long rant when he sees you. And it's better not to interrupt him. That's just his way of showing you how much he cares. He won't accept any excuses and will actually try to punish the ghouls who were with you unless you literally beg him not to. He swears he won't be this merciful next time though so... Good luck.

Taiga will literally laugh at you I'm sorry. I mean, he did care enough to at least ask if you're safe right? We can't expect too much from this guy. It's not that he's mocking you anyways, he just genuinely finds it funny how you always manage to come back from a mission with some kind of health issue. Won't make a huge deal out of it but won't leave you alone either. Expect to be carried around everywhere in every single position he can think of. If you try protest he might actually break your crutches so just let him have his fun for a while...

Ritsu is a bit confused until you clarify that his Intel wasn't faulty. But wait, that actually doesn't help clear things up. You're partners both in work and love so why hide something like that from him? He's not angry, just doesn't really understand since he always makes sure to emphasize that you can rely on him. Anyways. If you want to sue the ghouls for failing to protect you - just say a word and he'll have all the papers ready. No? Well at least let him sue the Chancellor for always putting your life on the line?

Leo is another one who will laugh, but this one does mean to mock you... Seriously just how reckless can you be? Through this behavior he's trying to communicate (very miserably) how upset he is with you. He would absolutely hate it if something really bad happened to you. He wishes you weren't so agreeable and easygoing and thinks everyone is just using you.. Once he's done laughing at you he will come over and laugh at you in person. Just kidding. He will bring you Sho's food! Surprise, I guess he still does have a soft spot for you.

Alan worries about your safety a lot on daily basis, he can't help it that he sees you as a very fragile being (even if you're not) so the news about your injury puts him on high alert. He hates seeing you in pain, but he also hates when you're hiding things from him. You don't need to act tough. He will always be there to help you. So what if he does the same? Ghouls are more durable he says. He will be extra gentle with taking care of you until your leg fully heals.

Sho won't hold back from scolding you but he will make sure not to be too harsh. Upsetting you is not his point after all. Somehow he's not entirely surprised you came back injured though. He knows your role comes with risks but wishes you wouldn't have to bear it. Well, at least you can count on him absolutely spoiling you with his cooking during your recovery! Will probably come live with you like it's the most natural thing in the world. Don't let Leo find out or the little shit will get jealous.

[agonizingdespair]

She has done some of these, but yeah it wasn't this bad, and it can be overlooked because they're all understandable and she isn't real.

For fun though, let's go down the list of the ones here that she HAS done (I haven't seen every single spin off so I might be missing some things), as well as ones here she has almost done but not quite, or the ones that are otherwise somewhat relevant.

Theft: She stole guns from the yakuza and JSDF.

Assault: she has in multiple instances slapped someone to snap them to their senses. To her credit, it actually worked every time and was helpful, but still assault. She also shoots Kyubey regularly, but she knows this won't kill him. Since Kyubey is a hivemind and we don't know if every kyubey has spares or if spare bodies are just different Kyubey's, whether killing an individual body or not is murder or just assault is unclear.

Psychological abuse: I've seen this argued, in regards to her relationship with Madoka. I'd say she doesn't display the behaviors that would constitute this frequently enough to qualify, and it is all with genuine good intentions. A lot of it is just a natural consequence of being in a time loop and trying to influence the people around her into making certain decisions to prevent them from dying. There was also that non-canon spin off Manga where a future version of Homura gets with a future version of Tatsuya just because he's Madoka's brother and Madoka is with someone else already, which very likely does count as emotionally abusive assuming she doesn't care about him, as well as considering the age gap, but nobody likes that story and everyone basically agrees it doesn't exist (though I've not read it myself), plus as I said it's officially non-canon. Like very very non-canon. So yeah she hasn't done this.

Tresspassing: She had a conversation once with Madoka that went Madoka: "Homura how did you get in my room?" Homura: "Don't sweat the details Madoka."

Animal cruelty: if Kyubey counts then yes. Otherwise no, and I'd argue he doesn't. You could also say witches or wraiths, but both are capable of complex intelligence and witches are former humans so that's a bit questionable. Plus killing witches is the merciful thing to do anyways in most circumstances.

Kidnapping: Rebellion, as a witch, but she wasn't lucid at the time and was unaware of it herself. Some argue this occurred again when she became a demon, but this is not confirmed and it's not really kidnapping if you essentially just put a cage around the entire universe, is it?

Mass torture: on the incubator species by the end of rebellion (or at least it's heavily implied). It's indirect, forcing them to take on the curses of the world and feel despair. And they are a hivemind so how many people Kyubey counts as is debatable. But I say it counts as mass torture instead of just torture. This is the most egregious crime on this list that she has done, but her victim is Kyubey so a lot of people probably are on her side on that one.

Grand Larceny: stole enough in value from the JSDF that it would count were they a business or person and not military. Has stolen enough from the Yakuza to also likely count, however not all at once. So ultimately neither count. She also stole Madoka's powers, which is very valuable, but not in the sense of monetary value, so it still doesn't count.

Stalking: probably her most frequent offense, even if Madoka doesn't really seem to mind and it's for her protection.

Attempted murder: she tried to kill Sayaka that one time. Has killed many of Kyubey's bodies, which could be this or actual murder, or assault, depending on how they work and her knowledge thereof. She has also been implied to have committed many successful murders on people like Oriko, but they've all been undone by time travel and are unconfirmed.

Destruction: while fighting Walpurgisnacht there is a lot of collateral damage. It would be just as bad if she wasn't there though.

Labor Law Violation: familiars are technically unpaid laborers with no rights. Nobody would prosecute this, but you could technically say almost every Witch in PMMM is guilty of this in a sense unless they are just extensions of the witch they come from, but we don't know exactly how they work. Plus it seems most familiars are willing laborers, so they probably don't count as slaves. Homulily's almost certainly don't, even the non-clara dolls.

2016ish pmmm discourse would have you believe homura akemi is like this

[tategaminu]

I need to get this off my chest about the TDP fandom. I have seen a lot lately of vagueblogging complaining about (wait for it) vagueblogging. Listen here‚ everyone has their own of way of vent with things. "Screaming into the void" doesn't work for me‚ venting on my blog does because I like feeling like someone is hearing me. If I want to vagueblog shitting on people not tagging things correctly I will. If I want to say TDP Reddit has incel energy or that animation reviwers' opinions suck ass I will. May I sound condescending? Yeah sure. Do I think my opinions are sometimes a lot better than the average redditor? Of course‚ why wouldn't I? Do you like it? No? Then don't follow me‚ simple as that. This is my blog. Mine. This is how I cope with things that bother me.

At the end of the day‚ trying to shut down people who express their opinions like this is is another form of censorship. Just as you don't want to shut negative opinions from mediocre youtubers (even if you don't agree) you shouldn't censor negative opinions against negative opinions as long and there's no harrassment involved. I'm pretty sure the average redditor won't care we bash their opinions here‚ I'm sure a youtuber with 500k subs gives a gigantic shit about a random Tumblr user saying they are poopoo. Let people have their opinions‚ even if they are toward other people. You can always block and you are definitely not free of being disliked.

Also‚ if some people from the fandom got beef with each other and they start leaking private conversations I beg you‚ for the love of god‚ not asume stuff or take sides until you know the full thing. Not only sharing private chats publicy is super shady and a violation of privacy (I believe that if the other person isn't threatening or harassing you‚ you shouldn't leak private conversations even if censored. It's another thing to vent in private with a friend for example) you don't know how much of the conversation is cut‚ you don't know how petty the people involved may be‚ their state of mind or their actual relationship or dynamic. As someone who has suffered from difamation irl it just sucks when people take the other person's side without hearing yours. It's normal to support a friend and you are bound to believe them yes but to blindly believe everything and shun that person when you only know one part? They may be Aaravos people who don't say the whole truth. I learnt a while ago‚ that no matter what people tell me‚ I won't go against the other person because it's not my fight. A lot of people stopped talking to me and my parents because stuff my sister in law kept saying to everyone. Some stuff wasn't true and some were things that happened but were cut in half for her own convenience. We are of course all humans and a lot of times taking sides isn't out of malice‚ you just want to support your friend even if that means banning the opposite side.

I'm also so tired of the whole "let's beat purity culture! But oh! If someone doesn't hold my ideals then they are a huge anti on disguise or SJW!!" Things don't work like this. Some people make me uncomfortable over the things they ship and I don't want them close. Do you think that makes me an anti even tho I don't harrass anyone and I actually let them do whatever they want? Or I'm just an human with her own icks? Can I say in my own damn blog "I fcking hate [ship I find weird] and I would rather not interact with their shippers" with proper tags? These are my damn opinions!

You don't actually need to respect everyone's opinions‚ you don't need to accept everyone's opinions but you can surely avoid people that annoy you and continue with your day. The blockity block exists. Let people manage their own experience online‚ we are here to have fun after all :]

This is all sounds very messy but I don't care. My vent is done. I hope it sells the message. I love yall guys‚ I love the fandom and I will be here for many years but understand everyone needs to vent once in a while :3.

[deathofacupid]

FLOWERS OF FLESH AND BLOOD. 𓂃 s. gojo. ◞ ♯ city lights that go gentle into that good night. (a petal.)

"can you close your eyes, remember the flowers for me?" — this was home, until it wasn't. until it was a barren land of flesh, blood, and fear. they said to just survive, but what does that mean? to walk a life of tears and loss? never knowing if the next day will be your last? it's the end of the world, though the start of yours. yours and satoru's. WARNING. walking dead in the vicinity, proceed with caution: zombie apocalypse!au. dead dove, do not eat. gore, blood, death, angst, depictions of violence + murder. eventual smut (afab!reader), slow burn. more to come.

petals are flashbacks!

› series m.list. — ask to get tagged! › my m.list.

"i don't think you're a bad person, 'kuna," you say, the silence stretching out before your words. a grunt is all you get in return. you're sprawled on the car roof, the windshield digging into your back.

he hates that nickname, or he used to. never been a fan of them. back when you had a lisp, "sukuna" came out all soft and giggly – soon-a. the shorter version just stuck. he got used to it.

your gaze drifts from the hazy yellow glow of the city to the figure leaning against the hood. hands tucked behind your head, you continue, "seriously, i mean it."

still no answer. sukuna's arms are crossed over his chest. "you always say that, but it's bullshit. sure, you've done bad things—"

"do bad things," he cuts in, a sharp, almost amused snort. that's just how things are with him – a bitter edge. you're used to it, though, and you don't mean that with any bitterness yourself.

"whatever. you can't be all bad." your eyes trace the dark ink on the back of his neck, the blocky shapes forming a whole. "not if you took me in."

his head tilts, just a fraction, to look at you. you catch the faint curve of his dark lashes, lit by the skyscrapers and the last sliver of sunset reflecting in them. "what, was i supposed to just leave you there?"

your answer comes without hesitation. "a bad person would have."

"right," he drawls.

you let your eyelids drift shut, but the faint light ahead bleeds through. "don't believe me?"

"don't care enough to."

"right," you echo. "pizza after this?"

"you're gonna get sick eating all that junk, brat."

"see? you care!"

you can't see sukuna's face, but you can practically hear the eye roll. "oh, would you just— forget it. you know how much money i already spend on you? i ain't paying for any more."

silence settles again, not awkward, not bitter. you break it, not because it's heavy, but because you like the sound of his voice.

"she's nice."

this time, he turns fully. in the fading dusk, his eyes look almost crimson. you've always admired how they catch the harsh city lights, just like now. he asks, though he seems to already know, "who?"

"you know who. she's nice. good for you. she'll keep you grounded, i think. i won't be around forever."

again, the eye roll. it earns a soft giggle from you, but he remains unamused. "stop saying it like you're gonna die."

"that's not what i mean. i'm just saying, i won't live with you forever. i'll finish college, leave, get a job — you know, whatever."

his brows furrow, like he's actually considering it. "suppose so," he finally replies.

"yeah. so, i think she's nice. i mean, a woman likes you. an actual, real woman."

"brat, alright, now what's that supposed to mean?"

"nothing. i just don't want you to get all old and lonely. or, er— older."

"i am not that old." sukuna doesn't appreciate the jab at his age. sure, he's not ancient, but he sure acts like he's from the heian era sometimes.

"doesn't matter," you shrug, waving it off. "you get what i mean."

"i'm not sure i do."

"you need a girlfriend, or something. that'll take the edge off. you're so grumpy."

"shut up, like you're any better."

"totally am. i'm not grumpy all the time."

"single as hell, though."

frowning, you give sukuna a half-hearted glare. "because you threaten every guy that makes eye contact with me."

he states it like a simple truth. "they ain't worth your time." after a moment, he pulls something from his pocket. a cigarette. he sticks it between his lips, about to light it when you cut in.

"that's the part where you offer me one."

he clicks his tongue. "nah. you'll get sick."

"you won't?" you huff, tilting your head.

watching the tiny flame flicker, you sigh, listening to his weak protest. "been through worse."

"hypocrite."

"baby."

"i am not a baby."

"acting like one now, with that baby-ass pout. put that away, it's annoying."

"you're annoying."

"you're sleeping outside," he shoots back, tone mocking.

"fine, fine, sorry." it doesn't really matter; you've never liked the feeling of smoke in your lungs anyway. and the buzz is always so short-lived. more harm than good, that cancer stick.

you watch sukuna exhale, the gray smoke curling into the crisp, newly night air.

the warmth of the city lights hangs in the empty pockets of thin air.

› (17/50) — @jeonwiixard, @mia-can-yap-too, @kentoslvr, @eolivy, @wunerie, @shokocide, @suckkuna, @sadmonke, @ratedrrrr, @padsfirewhisky, @foreveraangel, @a1zennn, @pickledsoda, @armani78, @ssetsuka, @satoruxsc, @arrozyfrijoles23.

[lixiesstorys]

SKZ Headcanons - Fever/Flu

BANG CHAN:

Is prone for getting the flu just like everything else. Maybe due to the stress and his insomnia.

Hates having the flu because he'll need ages to recover (if he wouldn't work in that time it would be shorter... just saying).

Gets really emotional what makes him more emotional because he doesn't want to get emotional.

As always he mixes up the languages and with really high fever not even Felix understands him. But Felix always has to stay with him because he reminds Chan of home and Chan gets really homesick when he isn't feeling well.

Is completely useless because his body takes the rest it normally doesn't get. That means Chan is slower and sometimes faints because his body is like "hell nah".

Barely eats anything because he is scared that he has to throw up. The others are always like "honestly Chan? It's the flu not a stomach bug" but he doesn't eat.

Sometimes he needs to throw up because of the fever, especially when the fever comes all of the sudden. And if that happens you won't get anything in him without forcing it down.

Cuddles. He needs cuddles. But he won't let anyone near him because he doesn't want the others to be sick. But also gets upset when they aren't near him.

If you want to take care of him: good luck. He is stubborn as fuck and always pretends he's fine. And that with success.

Gets nightmares very often when he has a fever.

MINHO:

Again: he is like never sick.

But if he has a fever, he is completely down. And grumpy. Like really grumpy.

Never gets emotional except around Han. And Han is for Minho like Felix for Chan: a need when he is sick or not feeling well.

Sometimes he starts crying out of nowhere and Han is confused with it.

When someone tells him to rest he normally snaps at them.

He isn't good at hiding having a fever, because he sweats very much but shivers like he was outside (in winter) with a t-shirt.

The only person who is allowed to cuddle him is Jisung (and if Han isn't there Chan). Minho doesn't want the maknae-line (except Han) with him because 'they're annoying' but actually just doen't want them to get sick as well.

Is down for like 3 days and then like super down but then he wakes up and feels like nothing happened.

Sleeps like 22 hours per day when he isn't feeling well.

Is too stubborn to skip dance practice and he nearly fell once if Changbin wouldn't have caught him because he got dizzy .

Is one of the only members that don't refuse to eat a normal amount of food during feeling unwell.

CHANGBIN:

Is like a baby. He needs attention and gets upset if no one is with him. Doesn't really care who is with him (except Jeongin).

Is always emotional when he has a fever. But he isn't very prone to get one.

Normally really sick between 2 to 4 days and recovers after that.

Pouty face. All the time.

Refuses to drink tea. He doesn't like tea and would never drink it in his life. Chan and Minho always try to get it into him but he won't drink it and gets mad at them.

Sleeps pretty much, like Minho.

Gets grumpy easily when he isn't feeling well. That's why the more sensetive members normally don't take care of him even if they know that he doesn't mean it.

He eats his normal amount of food, not a bit less just normal. He is the easiest member with food and the others are glad about it!

Loves and hates cuddles at the same time. Sometimes he wants cuddels all the day when he isn't feeling well and then suddenly he gets grumpy because a member cuddles him. He doesn't understand it himself.

Can't hide fever because it messes with his emotions.

HYUNJIN:

Is a real drama-queen (mostly to annoy the members). He gets a stuffy nose and behaves like he is dying. But as soon as he is taken down by the flu he is too stubborn to lay down or you can't get him out of bed.

Is like Changbin with the time-period of the flu so like 2-4 days really but then he is like Minho too. He wakes up after 2 to 4 days of hell and feels completely fine.

Gets fever easily and always but mostly low fever. Sometimes he doesn't even notice it.

Especially when the fever starts he gets really emotional and starts crying. Then the others always know that he comes down with something and send him to bed.

Isn't good at hiding having the flu (obviously).

Eats but only with complaining the whole time Even when he realizes that it makes him feel better, just out of principle he doesn't stop complaining.

Wants to be left alone and taken care of at the same time. Someone has to be in the same room but he doesn't want cuddles. But he likes to lay down in someone's lap and loves head-massages.

He always feels gross when he has a fever and needs someone to tell him he isn't.

HAN:

Gets as emotional as Chan (most times). But as soon as he has a fever, and not as soon as someone notices.

The smart one who doesn't try to hide it. Honestly he is the only one except Jeongin who doesn't even try and tells one of the members right after he noticed that he comes down with something.

Is one of the easiest to take care of.

He eats a little less than normally but you don't have to force the food down.

He needs Minho with him when he has a fever. It's not a wish, it's really a need!

Isn't really grumpy when he has a fever but tears up in every situation. Just as a tip: never give him animal cookies!

Is cute asf when he is sick. No one knows why but he is. It's a feeling of mine.

Sometimes he tries to work when he isn't feeling well but only writing songs because it makes him feel better.

Most times it seems like he is through the flu but then after two days of feeling better he is sick again.

Loves cuddles. Give him cuddles and he stops crying.

Sometimes he gets little nightmares but it doesn't have to be. That is most times when he has a higher fever.

FELIX:

As soon as he isn't feeling well, he gets really clingy towards Chan.

Isn't really prone to get a fever or the flu. Most times he catches it from Chan because he stays with him all the time. Then Chan always feels guilty and Felix tries to pretend he caught it somewhere else.

Gets homesick too. But as soon as Chan is there the world is okay again.

Always cuddles with one of the members and his BbokAri. And he needs fluffy socks and comfy clothes!

He never thinks that he has a fever because he feels really, really cold. It's a conversation like "Hey guys. It's kinda chilly today!" "Uhh Felix it's 25°C today...".

Also mixes up the languages like Chan, but talkes more English than Korean. And with really high fever he barely talks or understands Korean.

His cheeks are flushed as soon as his temperature went up a little bit.

Tries to hide it but fails (maybe already noticed because of the other points XD).

Sometimes he starts crying but that doesn't happen often. It more likely that he gets upset over small things and starts to pout.

Food is... complicated. Sometimes he eats as soon as you give something to him but sometimes it's a real fight.

Always gets a stuffy nose when he gets the flu. And with always I mean always.

If it's not clear until now, he needs Chan! He would try to sleep in the studio if Chan had to work. He accepts the others for a short time but after 2 hours he wants his Aussie-friend back.

SEUNGMIN:

Doesn't get the flu very often. Could be related to the fact that as soon as someone gets the flu they aren't allowed to come near him (except some members).

He gets it for maybe 2 days and recovers fast after it. Maybe because he actually takes care of himself.

Blankets, some actual fruits (no yogurt), tea and a hot water bottle and he is happy.

Hates cuddles when he is sick. It's okay if someone is with him and sits with him but no cuddles! Except he has a really high fever.

If he asks for cuddles you have to get worried. He likes to lay on someones lap (like Hyunjin) and sometimes he snuggles really close to that member but doesn't want to cuddle.

Looks tired no matter how much he sleeps.

Most times he doesn't tell anyone but won't deny feeling unwell if the members ask.

Wouldn't say it but when he has the flu he always cries himself to sleep :(

He loves watching his childhood movies. He does it all the time. That is kinda cute. And he loves listening to CDs he heard as a child.

Doesn't eat anything except fruits and only drinks tea.

His fever is normally on a lower level but sometimes it gets higher.

JEONGIN:

Is extra clingy as soon as he isn't feeling well.

Normally he is down for a week, because he never really gets sick and is more like feeling unwell except one day in this week. On that he is completely taken down and sleeps the whole day.

He is always forced to stay home for at least 2 weeks, because he is baby and baby must be protected!

When he gets a fever he tears up in every situation. Then he always sniffles and most times he walks to Chan to get a hug.

He loves to be cuddled, especially by Chan, because Chan is a safe space (for everyone tho).

Needs cuddles when he isn't feeling well. He has no problem to be koala-carried all the time.

Is the only member who gets the flu in a normal amount in one year. Like 2 to (really rare) 4 times a year.

Tries to eat enough but never has an appetite. He normally likes to eat pizza then.

He always has Foxi.Ny with him and cuddles with it.

Loves blankets and taking a bath, because that makes him feel better and less gross.

He doesn't even try to hide it, because he can't, the others notice it as soon as he isn't feeling unwell or even before he even knows.

New headcanons y'all :D. For some members I need sooooooo long and for others I'm like "Oh, that's easy!"

Whatever, here they are, hope you liked them!

[hershey-writes]

Could I request Abbacchio and Bucciarati for the yandere alphabet? Idk if u want specific letters as opposed to the whole alphabet but I'll choose O, T, and Z if that is the case!

for future reference, i'll write full alphabets for a single character and up to three letters for multiple characters!

tw: abuse, violence, mentioned murder, kidnapping, implied suicide. please click off if any of this would trigger you.

o: oppression -> how many rights would they take away from their darling?

BRUNO has no issue restricting you for your own safety. It's more a question of what he allows rather than what he doesn't. He can be incredibly patronising, tutting as he snatches a pair of scissors from your hands because you could cut yourself with them. He just wants you to be safe and protected, don't you understand? No matter the fact that you're a grown adult who can probably use an electrical outlet by yourself. He's still going to babyproof it either way.

LEONE is on the other end of the spectrum. You're an adult, he's an adult. He's not really going to police what you do, other than a few basic house rules, such as not escaping and not leaving without his permission etc. This is partly because he does in fact respect you, contrary to popular belief, but its also because his moral compass won't really allow him to control you. Deep down, he does feel guilty for his actions, and feels as though the small freedoms he allows you compensates for the torture he's putting you through.

t: tears -> how do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

BRUNO would feel bad, but try to rationalise it to himself. He treats you like a child throwing a tantrum, cooing and running his hands through your hair. You're just not adjusted to your circumstances, you'll get over it! Just some cabin fever, that's all. After you realise that this is your home, it'll all be fine! He would be the absolute worst to deal with when you're upset, because he simply refuses to see anything that doesn't fit his idea of you.

LEONE will be furious and deeply depressed at the same time. On the one hand, why do you have to make things worse for yourself? He's taking care of you. Can't you see that? If you keep on whining, he will get annoyed and tell you to shut up. Maybe threaten you and push you around a bit. However, on the other hand, he does blame himself for your outbursts. He's the one trapping you here, after all. He isn't dumb. He knows people don't exactly appreciate being kidnapped and trapped in another person's home. But he tries not to dwell on those feelings too mch, for his sake and yours.

z: zenith -> would they ever break their darling?

BRUNO would definitely aim to break you, although he doesn't see it that way. He sees it as you 'embracing your circumstances.' He's a simple guy with simple wants. Clean streets to patrol, a spouse to come home to and a hot dinner to enjoy. As stated above, he definitely loves the idea of you more than the actual you. And if it means you fitting his ideal of a housespouse, he is more than willing to break you.

if LEONE broke you, he couldn't live with it. He just simply couldn't. Everything he loved about you is all gone, all because of him. The guilt would utterly consume him to the point of no return, and he wouldn't be able to live with it for too long.

[threegoldfish]

As Thor watches Marc, he watches the god of thunder in return - expression a bit softer now, less stoic, less harsh at the edges; Thoughtful, if anything, mulling over the things that have been said - and are still being said at that very moment. Lips stretch into a hint of a smirk even when Thor calls his suit not flashy enough, and... alright, yeah, Marc can see that being an opinion when comparing what he wears to the incredible craftsmanship of Asgardian battle attire.

---Yes, he's seen a few pictures. Yes, Steven actually owns a damn book about the Asgardians. It is what it is.

A brief moment of them just existing and breathing, humor fading again, the topic being steered back to... whatever the hell this is. The mission, the... danger of sorts that's apparently arising, threatening to end Earth and everything else that exists within the Universe. Great, really. And, apparently, that Marik-guy can give them some... assistance? Insight, perhaps?

One of the reasons why they are here. The fire, the general warmth of this house, are certainly helpful, a comfortable addition to it all - but not the main reason for both men to sit here with their eyes focused on a kettle being nestled into the golden flames, waiting for water to boil, suitable to pour them both a hot beverage.

Coffee, it might be. Fuck yeah, Marc definitely could go for a good, strong coffee now.

"...It's not the first time." Sounding a bit defeated, almost, Marc inhales a breath before he blinks - gaze momentarily on Thor again, then back on that fire; The flames reflect within his dark irises as he takes in the sight, pupils a little unfocused, thoughts wandering within his mind. "Khonshu is... special. Disrespect is his second name, I guess - you know, the whole arrangement of... this---" A bandaged hand unfolds to point at himself, the entirety of Marc's outfit, before it slides back into the space between is chest and elbow again, "---I didn't ask for it. I was..."

Hesitation, just for a moment or two, and Marc clears his throat as memories pop up as imaginary images in front of his inner eyes; Lids close for a moment, then flick back open, and he sighs - deeply so. "---I was offered a deal, and I took it. Khonshu saved my life, literally, and... I've been his fist ever since. We originally agreed on me dealing with... erm, lets call it one major world-ending thing - and, once done, I'd be freed of this burden, get to have my life back, all of that. But... things changed. A lot of tings changed, and now here I am."

A shrug, and Marc realizes he's just been spilling quite a bit of personal information here. He clears his throat once again, glances over at the god, then shifts a bit where he sits - crosses his ankles, attention back on that damn kettle still sitting there, illuminated by that pretty orange glow.

"Khonshu... well, he is who he is. I'm not surprised about him being quiet about what's going on, being all dramatic instead - yeah, that's just... him, really. Very much on brand for this bird."

---Months ago, part of Marc actually would've refrained from talking in such a disrespectful way about the god that's offering him the suit an dall of that - but nowadays? He doesn't give much of a fuck anymore, honestly. Khonshu won't let them go anyways, so... whatever.

"So...yeah, it is disrespectful. But then, things have always been fucking disrespectful - cannot complain about that anymore. Have to take it. Will take it. Have gone through worse - it's fine."

---He's got Steven and Jake, after all, and they care about him - take over, deal with shit, take some of that weight off of his shoulders. Without them Marc wouldn't be able to handle any of this, really.

"I'm more concerned about... you know, the new shit that's going to happen, apparently. Some ancient bad god trying to destroy everything? Sounds delightful, huh?" A chuckle, dry in nature, as Marc looks back at the other, arching a brow.

[ ϟ ]—– Finally there is some ease in the human, the shift in the man's demeanor something the Asgardian had hoped for, and it takes no effort to simply observe and listen for a moment. In the slivers of quiet between flame crackling and Spector's words the god considers the mortal with interest, noting the slipping loose of both words and physique.

' Flashy...' The word is echoed with a hint of mirth in the warm bass, a brief twitch of lips betraying amusement as well.

' I dare say it could use a little more gold still, to be considered flashy,' and there is additional warmth in the tone there, meant to reassure in some way. His own kind, so prone to appreciate splendor, were no strangers to bright and elaborate craftsmanship, and undoubtedly Spector would find the god's full attire even more overbearing than his own.

There was hope still, that the man would not need to witness that any time soon, if ever, and a brief nod is offered for the expressed gratitude.

' The Fates have brought us together for a reason it seems, it would be unwise do go against it.'

Rising once more the cabin's creaking boards suffer momentarily when Thor fetches the mugs, returning to the hearth with a minor frown and pursed lips as thoughts are mulled over. Settling again, close and almost companionably so, thunderer's gaze is fixed on the embers beneath the kettle then, form slacking into familiar posture of someone used to firelight and consideration between battles.

' I have walked away too often to my liking.'

The admission comes with a reassuring nod, golden head tilting ever so slightly to turn attention from fire back to the human.

' It was not only compassion that brought us here specifically. Marik, the owner of this, may be able to provide that much needed wisdom for this quest of ours...'

And subconsciously he had named it theirs, the realization he had done so causing the frown to deepen and a mild sigh to escape. Avoiding human involvement, avoiding Spector's involvment, it would not longer be possible, as much as he regretted it.

' So your god protects you, somewhat, demands you fight for him, clearly, yet shares little to no information with you regarding the purpose of it all? You do not find this odd? Or at the very least highly disrespectful?'

Control and one's purpose, they were both so thickly entwined within every Asgardian that Thor found it difficult, if not highly disturbing, to see it meddled with so carelessly by others.

[wombtowaste]

Generally I don't care too much what strangers or anyone thinks about me but when it's ppl I see like every day(coworkers) and start to care about(coworkers, etc) then it starts to bother me that it seems nobody actually has an interest in getting to KNOW me, they just like being able to treat me like I'm their own personal therapist without actually caring about me or my wellbeing in return. Which just makes me feel even worse about my lack of social skills. Like what am I doing wrong?

[starrbirrd]

now adding a vanserra daughter that's been haunting me.

Niamh, meaning "bright" or "radiant". Fourth born and the only daughter, Niamh was probably the only child the LoA would have been allowed to raise herself after Eris and before Lucien. A consolation prize more than anything, and Beron wouldn't have any use for her until she came of age anyway. For anyone old enough and still alive to remember, she was the LoA's exact copy. Both in looks and personality as a girl. Niamh grew up more wild and magic than anything else and had a connection to the forest her other siblings lacked. Often in trouble and very frequently bullied by her brothers, she would spend hours in the woods, sometimes even days. Later in life, she ends up one of her mother's many heart breaks, and one of Eris' worst failures. By the time Beron takes over the reigns, she's too feral to be kept contained, running around with the lesser fae and generally shaming him. When he gets it into his head that marriage would calm her down since nothing else he did worked, she tries and fails to run like her brother's former betrothed. When he recaptures her, Beron offers Niamh the chance at being disowned since he sees her as a stain on the family name- if she agrees to take a tonic that rips away any ability of her having bastards in the future. She doesn't recognize it for the trick that it is and is left for dead deep in the forest, this time somewhere no one will find her (Beron won't make the mistake Keir did with his own disobedient spawn) (They're honestly lucky he didn't kill her in the cradle as he did his own sister). However the forest loves that girl and the magic keeps her alive. Many years later and she's still running wild across the courts and continents, though no one in Autumn is allowed to speak her name. Beron occasionally sends people to assassinate her and her brothers have a kill on sight order, but no one's been able to catch her. Lucien has no real memories of his only sister, just stories.

Beneath the cut for my thinking out loud on the naming in the Autumn Court!

The issue with the Autumn Court is that we're given no for sure pattern to their names. We have Eris, which is Greek, Beron, which is German, Lucien, which is French, and Jessiminda which is Persian. We don't even know the LoA's actual name, though I know Aíne is popular throughout the fandom and everyone generally HCs Autumn specifically as Irish or Scottish. Which I know also lies with SJMs horrible world building.

Out of the seven kids we know exist, we only get Eris and Lucien's name. Eris meaning strife or discord, after the goddess. And Lucien meaning light, probably due to his parentage. No real pattern here save for being on the nose about their personalities.

All this to say that I would probably lean into the LoA being either French and Irish while Beron himself is Germanic and Greek. He likely claimed naming rights for his first born son, but I don't really see him caring all that much about what his other children get named, especially a daughter.

Going with Aíne for the LoA, which means radiance and joy, she also had two sisters. Chances are their birth was seen as a joyous event since one fae child is rare, much less triplets, and they equally had happy and loving names. Maybe Sorcha (brightness) and Caoimhe (precious).

Aíne, from what little we see, loves all of her children but I could see her going the same route for naming a daughter especially. Which is what led me to Niamh.

Rhysand's sister is named, as you all well know from some of my snippets, Rhaenys (didn't know until after the fact that it was from GOT 😔) and his father is Rhadamanthus just because I like the idea of the Rh being a royal family theme. I also played with the idea of her being named Sidra because of the Sidra River, since in my head his mother is named Velaris and his father renamed the city for her, which is something I talked about Rhysand echoing with buying Feyre all those fancy houses and stuff. Grand but empty gestures for women who came from poor backgrounds and would in theory be disgusted by the excess amount of riches they now possess.

I think I'd name Mor's sister Brighid(Brigid?) also to keep up with the theme since Mor is apparently(?) named after an Irish goddess. I also think it would be ironic and funny to have Mor, named after a goddess associated with "war and fate, especially with foretelling doom, death, or victory in battle." be the dreamer that made it out of the CON while the sister that is assumed to be just as bad as their father and left to rot down there is named after a goddess associated with "wisdom, poetry, healing, protection, smithing and domesticated animals." Keir is also a Gaelic name and like most of the women who aren't the MC of the series, Mor's mother doesn't have a name. I like to think she's from a different region and got sold off ages ago so she's spent more of her life in the CON than her original court.

Cassian's name means "void, hollow" which I think is very telling considering his mother got pregnant through sexual assault. His sister, I think, would be his half sister. Same father, but the legitimate daughter of the warrior and whoever his wife was. She'd have a name like Laetitia, meaning "happy" and "prosperous". A stark contrast to Cassian's name since they'd have exceedingly different circumstances surrounding their births. However, while it can be inferred from the story that Cassian's mother at the very least grew to love him, being a legitimate daughter wouldn't save Laetitia from the fate of every Illyrian woman and she would only be given such a lofty name because a daughter is only as good as the amount of money/status they can make off of her. When Cassian goes on his rampage in the village and slaughters almost everyone, including their father, I think he also slaughters her mother (if you go to his mother's wiki, it says he slaughtered everyone save for the innocent, children, elderly, and some females.) and any siblings they have, which also plays into her name since Laetitia can mean "lucky" as well. Is she lucky to escape her fate even though it cost her entire village and almost everyone she knew?

[dancerinthesky]

This particular population of Marauders fans can justify and contextualise themselves all they want, if they want. But as an aroace girlie, the sudden usage of asexuality as a trend just. Makes me sad.