#but then when i finally went to do the final alice fusion which had like 5 components

[blueskittlesart]

I Am Having So Much Fun

[faunastanza]

Species: Kobolds -> Seeds: WAR? is Topside - part 2

Species: Kobolds A reference sheet for a species type that seems vaguely fetishistic about melting and fusing with others. There are mentions of MALwire having vague, malevolent plans.

 midichlorians

At this point I feel like all this MALwire blustering never actually goes anywhere, so what's the point, but I might as well be thorough. Merge Swap is the fusion thing ability, it can also let them swap stuff emotionally/spiritually, whatever that means. Socketpuppet was from Circlet of the Sun if you recall, the redacted VN. Basically I think this is saying that MALwire wants to use Merge Swap to connect different Frequencies to each other, but if they don't "solve" for Socketpuppet then it'll cause reality errors. None of this ever comes up later, I'm almost positive.

Seeds: WAR? is Topside Ch 6

 what!!

Out of nowhere, holy crap!! It's the old plot and the old characters!! Jasmaby is on the title card!! It's actually happening!!

Well, eventually. Glip talks more about RP events in their server in the summary, saying they've been running Eastar RP events for about a year after a couple years before that of planning. We never see any of that so I'll take their word for it. They say they're ready to come back to the actual characters again, finally, although they tease that you can find out about the upcoming story early by joining the discord. Glip really wants you to join their discord.

Luneko's Journey: a tale of cosmic care

A zine Glip put together with some people in their discord about death and pets after their pet cat Pearl died. It's sweet and heartfelt, I have nothing but sympathy. Oddly, there is plot in it though.

If you remember from Crash Landing, Alice and a Luneko were [checks notes] okay, Alice was looking for the Mask of the Sun, believing it'd give her the powers to do anything she wanted. Twigs, the Luneko, crashed looking for the Masked Sun and came with Alice. Twigs admonishes Alice that she's broken the sky with her wish, while Alice says it has nothing to do with her and she just wanted a magic wish mask. Twigs says whatever the case, a broken sky (among other things) is the price to pay.

Alice is annoyed and asks if Twigs is going to help or admonish her for thought crimes. Meanwhile angel looking dudes are scurrying around as Alice runs through the city.

 related to being cancelled? you never know

Twigs says that Alice is going to be in big trouble if she can't recognize that "help" can involve telling her that her wishes exploded the sky and such. Alice asks what's going on with the shear in the sky. Twigs says that the Mask of the Sun WAS broken, that it was used and then "malice" broke it in half, but it was restored thanks to the shear in the sky. Alice gets annoyed, thinking that Twigs is blaming her for it, which Twigs doesn't confirm or deny.

Twigs says he doesn't judge her, but any judgement she has for herself will manifest when she crosses... the threshold!! It's a door not unlike the one Orobas went through a million years ago and it appears to be in a fairy ring.

 did jupet die there again

Twigs then says that if Alice wants to slip into "any story", she has to learn herself. "In order to bear the mask of divine creation, you must see the possibility of creation in every act of destruction or there will be nothing left of you", Twigs says. Alice runs through the door, scoffing that she "knows ALL ABOUT play time, Twigs". This seems like a callback to Beleth who had that a sort of catchphrase when in battle, but what conclusions to draw from that, I have no idea. I guess Alice skipped town to a better universe.

There's a second story where Toxinuate and Pengo's character talk about Pearl that is also fully rendered in color. It's mostly very sad, but it does mention that they are apparently in Heaven's Keys right now.

 :(

Seeds: WAR? is Topside - part 1

Several months later, the first installment! Another VN, they're all VNs now. These ones are actually cleaned up and colored, which I think marks the end of the MSPaint era of VNs. Maybe.

We open with Inkcat, although they look a bit different. Someone called Problemedic (get it) calls out to them, calling them Janitor. It's Toxinuate! But she has a new name apparently!

 weird to see you two with clear lines

Problemedic gives Janitor a hug which makes them teary, with them saying that they haven't seen anyone else in a while. Prob asks them what they've been up to then, and Janitor says they've been keeping an eye on Pearl/Purrl, the Luneko from before. Janitor gives Purrl whatever she wants and she's living the high life, so good for her. Janitor says that it is hard to get her to take her medicine, a problem Glip was having with the real life Pearl as well. Problemedic assures her that she's looking for a cure, although Purrl just sulks at this.

Prob fills Janitor in on how she met "the silliest little angel" on Horseshoe, and I forget where Horseshoe is, in Owel or in Eastar. Well, either way, Prob says that they'd met him before in Heaven's Keys, and that they don't know how they both ended up in the same place again. Janitor runs to get their mop while asking Prob what the purpose behind it was. Prob then realizes they don't remember why they were in Heaven's Keys, or what they were doing there. Janitor asks if they were with the silly angel, and Prob isn't sure, they just remember being with someone, sort of.

Prob vaguely recalls showing someone something at the Encore Medical Bay. Is this yet another reference to Circlet of the Sun? You'll never escape that VN! Never!!

 if mr. 5 comes back i'm going to riot

Janitor asks if they had a task there, and Prob can't quite remember, which they find frustrating. Were they explaining Undertakers, dreamers, moles, angels? They do remember a mole. Prob remembers they were tall and they were showing them how to work the control panel for MALwire, maybe, then says that it all feels like a dream now. They say they think it was related to Horseshoe but they can't remember how.

Problemedic continues to struggle with their memory. They say the silly little angel was very worked up over something. When they met again in Horseshoe, Prob says they were checking for "Chordincepts" and the silly angel helped them. Janitor asks about the Chordincepts and Prob says they all broke out, incensing Janitor who says they just cleaned up around here. Prob again says they don't know why it happened, just that it happened. They mention Arcus "taking from the world" and that that could be related.

 Hey they don't have the sun on their apron anymore now that I notice, what gives

Problemedic says they'll check their notes to see, then lament that some ruffians made a mess of them. Perhaps... The Ruffians Three???? They see that all their notes on Owel are in a pile. They ask Janitor what they meant by saying they cleaned up after the Chordincepts. Abruptly we cut to a sort of half-faced TALcat.

 sure why not

The Bitecat asks if they can hug/bite you, and it turns out they're directing this at Amdusias!! Oh my god, it's Amdusias!!!! It turns out to be one of those hallucination fakeouts though as it's just Beleth talking to her.

 weren't you both in an angel dimension turning into each other or something

Anyway, Beleth admonishes Amdusias that they're supposed to be on vacation and she needs to relax. Beleth DID apparently ask if they could hug her though. Amdusias wants formal literal explanations for why as she normally does. It's interesting to compare her as she appears now to as she looked years and years ago.

 a bit smoother and rounder

Amdusias wants to know why Beleth asked to hug her, and Beleth yells that it's because she's their friend and she looked sad. We cut back to the Biteycat asking if Amdusias wants a more specific question, and that they want to play with her.

 stripey tail, jot that down

Amdusias mostly looks annoyed at this, so it's not entirely clear if she's seeing Biteycat or not. She says she looks and feels totally normal. Beleth gives her a look. Suddenly, Biteycat has her head in Amdusias's giant hands and says that they want to act until one of them breaks (everyone is always breaking!) and that they want to do it over and over and over again. No one is apparently paying attention to Bitecat though as Beleth and Amdusias continue on their way looking irritated.

Beleth asks how long Amdusias is going to avoid talking about it, with Biteycat following with "please specify, you are being vague". And then the VN just abruptly stops. IT'S OVER, GET OUT!!

Seeds: WAR? is Topside - part 2 This opens with a title card saying that this is the story of Sona and her angel, "The Host". Sona was Amdusias's doppelganger if you remember, the alternate personality/form that Uniqorns have for stressful situations and the like. We also see AmdTV for the first time in a million years, God damn, all these plot threads all coming back all of a sudden!!

 I think that's AmdTV anyway

Sona sits looking like a my little pony and thinks vague thoughts about someone. She doesn't want someone to be around, although it has nothing to do with that person personally. She says that she was trapped, and now she isn't, and now the other one is trapped, and now they're both trapped, so can they talk? Typical alternate personality power struggles.

Sona calls out hello. She then looks pensive as the narration says she's keenly interested in an exchange student from Micah in Topside, so this is set in the old world I guess. Sona is the naked model in class and the exchange student won't look her in the face, always looking away whenever Sona looks at her. It turns out it's god damn Pride in the most unflattering outfit in the entire world.

 got my big mauve diaper at target

It turns out that Pride is a Bastian with gigantism and that's why she's so enormous. Pride doesn't speak the local language (there are different languages but this almost never comes up) and is only taking the class in Hellside because it's an "Advanced resonance" class. Sona decides to test something and sings a bit to see how Pride responds. Pride is taken aback by this and shakily attempts to sing back to her.

Sona says that she was sent here to train the resonance teachers, since they're the ones who defend the Blackjack Isles, and that being an art model is a side gig to keep herself from being bored. Sona violated a law, it says, as she and Pride look adoringly at each other. Her horn goes raaaarr.

 0z0

She resonated with a Topsider!!! "In her, she is seen" it says. Sona doesn't know what she's resonating with, but it feels very familiar and also very wrong. Just when things are getting ominous

 [audience goes wild]

Andre appears on Pride's canvas!! It's a big old reunion party in here!! Pride and Andre talk but it's all redacted. Pride looks rather unhappy and worried about it though. Meanwhile Sona sits there :)ing and then flashes into AmdTV for a second. And then Pride's canvas turns into AmdTV!!

 andre is out

Pride yells something at Sona but it's redacted. Sona runs forward singing to try and stop the angel or do something anyway. But then it turns out it's Amdusias! She's fallen out of bed and Toxinuate and Orobas are there. I was about to say "I guess Orobas is okay after all" but it turns out she's tied up in a chair while Toxinuate looks concerned and HotheadBeleth stands nearby looking ominous. Amusingly, Orobas just looks really irritated.

 i'm missing my shows, ugh

Tox tells Amdusias that she needs to wait over there and that she's in no condition to walk, and that they'll take care of the problem and "tend to her next". If you guessed this just pisses Amdusias off, then you're correct! She looks angry and then throws up a lot of... meowing... cat keys...? while AmdTV looks on.

uh i'm playing the trombone back here, do you MIND

 I've tried to keep track of the symbolism in this comic and I don't remember ever seeing these before, except as Luneko faces when they're whining for food or something which I don't think is the case here. I've got nothing.

Toxinuate gets closer to presumably biting off Orobas's head while she just looks angrier about it lol. Tox says that there are so many things about Orobas that need fixing, and BelethHead concurs, saying that she only causes problems and doesn't listen. Amdusias struggles to get up with all the weird things coming out of her mouth while her speech is redacted. Toxinuate tells her it's okay and to just rest, and that they can fix it for her, and that they can fix Orobas for her. Just rest, they say.

Amdusias wakes up from ANOTHER nightmare, so I guess she was two layers deep? Orobas does not appear to be with her.

We cut back to Problemedic and Purrl, with Purrl refusing to take her medicine. Then we cut back to Beleth and someone named Devin wondering if Amdusias is still asleep since they want to go to a convention. Devin wonders if they're going to cancel the convention for some unexplained reason, saying that it "looks pretty serious". Beleth says staying at home isn't going to change anything. Devin says that "it" is happening in Trebol proper and not out in the wilderness, and that it even got the "Art Pyramid". Won't the commanders need your help, Devin asks. Shades of Itchy Itchy here.

Beleth says probably but they're on strict orders to be on vacation and they can't get there in time anyway. We get a look at Devin who appears to be a turkey.

 need a lot of hands for this one

Beleth wonders about whatever it is, but reasons that even if it's at the Art Pyramid, that's where Andre is, so it's the strongest point in Trebol, so things will be fine. Beleth and Devin bicker for a bit and leave, with AmdTV showing up ominously on the monitor in the back.

Amdusias, awake, shows up and demands they leave at once. Beleth says that they said they didn't have to go and things will be fine without them. Amdusias insists and Beleth says that they checked with Pride and Baphomet and they both said that Amdusias is too much of a risk to be fighting angels right now. Beleth mentions that Pride isn't answering her compact which catches Amdusias's attention.

Amdusias rails about how Trebol is her home and she should be going back there to defend it, but Beleth is unmoved. They're going to set up a table at the con, although I don't know what any of them are going to be selling. Maybe Devin sells turkey doujinshi or something. Anyway, then the VN just ends.

In the summary, Glip says they're excited about where the story is going, but that it'll take a while to get there. They insist they've been doing a lot of work on it in the background over the past years and they're having fun weaving it all together. If you think the next updates are going to be about these characters, ha ha! Ha ha ha.

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

April 2021 Picks

And we’re back with the end to another month. April! Wow! Lots more great picks to talk about this time. Lots of new ones to the list too. So, let’s dive in!

Spoiler territory ahead!

THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

or should I say Captain America and the Winter Soldier

I just finished the finale last night, so it felt right to start off with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I really enjoyed it and I feel the episodes got stronger as the series went on. Each one felt like a mini-movie and I was upset it was over and had to wait another week for another one. I think the finale was my favorite. Especially the reveal of Sam as Captain America. I love his suit, his speech and the montage of everyone watching him. The last part of the episode was definitely my favorite and one I can watch on repeat. I loved seeing happy Bucky and him goofing off with the kids in Louisiana. He deserves so much happiness as he has now accepted he’s no longer who he once was. Bucky and Sam’s relationship is fantastic and I can’t wait to see it more. I know there’s a possibility of a second season and they have to be in a future MCU movie. Regarding the villain, I feel I was confused for most of the show as to what their objective was. I’m curious if this is because they had to reshoot parts during the pandemic. I also am mad with Sharon. Like what happened with her? She is definitely the true villain of the show. I also don’t love that we haven’t seen the end of Walker (but Wyatt Russell did a fantastic job). I also loved Torres and I hope he becomes the next Falcon. Definitely so different vibes from Wandavision, but just as good!

THE IRREGULARS

This is a show that more people need to be talking about! It was SO GOOD! I feel like I heard some buzz about it when it first came out, but not much after. It follows the teens featured about who live on the streets during Victorian London. The leader of their group, Bea gets approached by Dr. John Watson (that’s right...as in Sherlock and Watson) to take on a case that has more supernatural qualities. The story takes off from there. I think the group dynamic was fantastic. There wasn’t a character I didn’t like and each one brought something else important to the group (which they even bring up towards the end of the show). [I’ve watched a few cast interviews since finishing the finale and they seem like they get along really well in real life too.] There is a kind of love triangle, but it didn’t bother me and was over fast. I did like both combinations though. Lots of twists and turns along the journey. I have no idea if there will be another season, but there should be. It didn’t end on a major cliffhanger, but definitely ended in a way where it could continue nicely. Come on Netflix. 

HBO’S THE NEVERS

From one show set in Victorian times to the next. The Nevers just premiered on HBO and HBO Max earlier this month. It follows an ensemble of characters, similar to other HBO shows, ranging from characters who are called “the touched” to men in government who are against them. Being “touched” means they have a special talent or power, which can range from healing to speaking other languages, being extremely tall, or being an expectational inventor (I seriously love Penance. I just don’t know how to explain her ability). Amalia True and Penance Adair are two of the main characters and they help bring in others who are touched to a remodeled orphanage that is a safe haven for people like them. Of course there are those who are against them existing. This seems to be at least two groups as someone is abducting and experimenting on some of the touched, but we don’t know who they are...yet. I love the fusion of a historical setting with a fantasy element. I am very excited to see where the show is headed. I also love seeing so many of my favorite British actors on the screen together.      

ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND

Time for a throw back. Fans of ABC’s Once Upon a Time might remember the short lived spin off following Alice in Wonderland (and some of Aladdin). It only lasted for one season of 13 episodes, but I remember loving it and I am so happy I can rewatch it on Disney Plus. It reminds me of why I enjoyed OUAT so much and I think this show deserved another season or more crossover with the original show. (Luckily the Knave got that opportunity.) I think it should have aired as a summer show or when OUAT was on hiatus, this way more fans would have tuned in. It is something I’ll believe forever. 

Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now... I love Alice. I think she’s a badass and a fierce warrior. If you follow some of my posts on my other blog, Lydia-yougowith-Stiles, you’ll know that I love a warrior romance and Cyrus and Alice fit that perfectly (even if they are apart for much of the series). I also love Alice’s hair and outfits. Everything about her is cool. Her relationship with the Knave is one of my favorite friendships ever. I think they balance each other out so well and how they spend most of the journey together. Back in the day, I totally shipped them, but now I definitely don’t. (Even though I don’t love Anastasia.) This is definitely worth the watch if you’ve ever heard of Once Upon a Time or not. There is very cheesy CGI especially for 2013, but once you get pass that you’ll love it. 

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

It was on a longer break than I expected, and I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would (which I know doesn’t sound good for a show), but I am still loving all the episodes this season. It feels like there are more musical numbers, which I love. Mandy Moore is killing it with the choreography. There are so many amazing moments. I also was a big fan of the newest glitch episode. Everyone is so talented and I also like that we’ve started to hear from more like Jenna and Tobin. Leif has become one of my favorites. I don’t love the new neighbor next door, but I think we’re done with his storyline. I’m not loving the Zoey love triangle, but I do like her with either Simon or Max. She seems really happy with Simon now. (FYI: I haven’t watched the most recent episode yet. The glitch one was my latest.) Can’t wait for more!    

KUNG FU

CW’s newest show this month was Kung Fu, which I just learned was a reboot. It follows Nicky who returns after 3 years to her home in San Francisco. Her family has mixed feelings as she has had no contact with them for the last 3 years. She is now a Kung Fu master and warrior, out to avenge her mentor’s death and stop a villain from acquiring mythical weapons. The show gives me Arrow vibes every time I watch it. It has similar flashbacks each episode to an earlier time in Nicky’s life. While Nicky’s mission is different, the style just gives me early seasons of Arrow vibes, which I am not complaining about. It stars Legacies’ Alyssa Chen, who I didn’t love on Legacies, but instantly fell in love with Nicky. I think she’s a bad ass character and love how she’s fighting for the underdogs on the streets of San Fran, while also taking down a bigger evil. The love triangle is heating up and I’m definitely team Henry (even though there’s some mystery there). I think he’s great and once again we have an awesome warrior romance. They balance each other so well and it’s only been like 3 episodes. Now they’ve also been sleuthing together and it’s just amazing. 

NANCY DREW

Are you sick of hearing me talk about CW’s Nancy Drew? I hope not because I’m going to fangirl again. I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH! I can’t wait till Wednesday comes and I tune in a little after it starts, so then I can fast forward on my DVR. Then when the episode is over I basically start it all over again and watch select scenes that were awesome. (More specifically, they tend to be Nancy and Ace scenes because I love them and we’re entering so much angst I don’t know if my heart will be able to handle it!!!) 

I’ll say it a thousand times: THIS CAST IS EVERYTHING! Their dynamic is amazing. You can have any match ups and it’ll be a great time. There is not one person I don’t like. I was so upset that there wasn’t a new episode last week (especially because it was my birthday). I loved the last one with the Hardy Boys and that Nace reveal! OMG! I’m so sad that Grant has left again because we barely had him, but I feel he’ll eventually come back. He has to. I loved the ending when he spoke to Thom by signing to him. (My heart!) I seriously can’t say enough great things about this show. It is not your typical CW show and deserves more love and views. So happy a third season has already been confirmed!! 

LAST NOTES

Just started Shadow and Bone on Netflix and am loving it! I’m sure I’ll have an entire post dedicated to it when I’m done. (Currently going to start episode 6.) I have no background on the universe or the books (just what my sister is filling me in with as we watch). I definitely plan on reading Six of Crows after this!

So what are you enjoying? Let me know. I’m always looking for more shows to add to the list! Can never have enough. 

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S5E9 Destroyer - 5 Things I Loved/ 3 Points to Consider

I loved -

1. Betty going ultra-rogue and raging out had me in ecstasy - not quite unadulterated, but no matter.  I generally hate the ‘rogue-cop-had-to-do-it-cuz-system-failed’ type nonsense because, you know, it’s propaganda of the most insidious kind.  BUT.   The sheer terror that Betty Cooper, formerly the pink-sweatered doe-eyed teen dream girl,  invokes in these men is so cathartic.  Betty’s childhood acts of violence were always in defense of someone else - and now she’s just taken it a step further, of trying to do prophylactic justice rather than preventing immediate harm.   Betty slamming that dude sneering that “these girls are ‘looking to trick’” right into his steering wheel WAS AMAZING.  We’ve gone from bash-on-back-of-head to slam-head-down-break-nose as the go-to move. Her measured “Jug. Head?” when he calls at a key moment was hilarious, as was her cold hard, “Or I might not” about coming back for that guy she tied to the tree. 

Sidebar:   I feel like I don’t know Betty’s true size because she was most frequently seen with Jughead, whose height and heft fluctuated a lot due to plot demands, but I actually believe she’d be frightening.  The set of her shoulders as she charges around looking for people to beat up is an astonishing change from how I think of her, the fairytale princess in the fluffy sparkly dress. 

2.  Cheryl Blossom performing Stupid Love in that amazing custom-tailored red jumpsuit  with the glittering red strips down the sides - Oh My GOSH!!!   I basically did everything she told me to do in the song - Freak Out/ Freak Out/ Freak Out/ Look At Me.  And the mandatory Cheryl hair whoosh!  Who says you need to show skin or wear heels to be blazing hot?  Her commitment to performance is such that she dances up the stairs at the start of the song. If there had been a coach like this at any of the schools I went to, my physically incompetent ass would’ve thrown the mother of all tantrums to be given dance lessons, instead of um, being a bookworm in the library. 

3.  This is a two-for-one but Fangs and Jughead are currently being the world’s best ex-boyfriends and I want to give them each a big forehead kiss (and a bum squeeze, no not like that, just a little one, friendly-like).  Fangs is so mature and so in love with Kevin, and he is much more calm than I could be given what Kevin has done to him. I want to know everything about you, the good and the bad, he says, looking so handsome and hurt.  Bad Kevin! I believed in you!  And of course the soft way that Jughead talks to Betty when she’s in distress, using his Let me help you sotto voce that he only ever uses with true intimates, always goes straight to my heart.   There’s literally nobody that offers Betty any sort of comfort anywhere but for Jughead. 

But. I did not feel any sexual tension or residual longing, not from this episode.  It was more sibling energy. The tendon of RAGE that stands out on Betty’s neck as the old codger starts going on about Alien Fusion Reactors, while Jughead  cringes like a younger brother who’s gonna GET IT when they get home or she tells mom, was very cute

4. I actually loved the We Scored a Single Point So Team Is Not Cancelled football match.  I normally never get anything out of these games but this one worked for me. I loved Archie’s speech to his players. Specifically, his tone of voice.  He’s so hot when he’s being someone’s big brother - this is the same tone of voice as him telling Joaquin, You have to hit me! Hit me, at the boxing match. There’s something about this delivery  that just um, makes me tingle.  And then him leaping with BOTH FEET off the ground when Britta scores that one touch down (is this right? i have no idea).  Oh Archie can move. And speaking of Britta - the way her long braid whips around when she avoids getting tackled was fantastic!  All the adults celebrating so hard because one thing went right!  I wish we had more of that energy in actual children’s sports lol.

5. Reggie finally getting to show something of who he is as an adult.  (What I remember most about him from previous seasons is I gotta matter Ronnie! and his single tear of heartbreak as he tells Archie how it is at home for him).  Unsurprisingly, he’s much better at being an aggro asshole than Archie.  He smiles and smiles while delivering terrible news (Your team is about to be cancelled!) and jaunty while dealing low blows to kids (Loser, Loser, Loser).  And yet, he is not a heartless criminal of the stripe that Hiram is - I’m not gonna break some kid’s legs for no reason - and knows how to walk away from a Lodge when they ask too much of him.  I can’t wait to see where they go next with him.  He just gets handsomer every time I see him.

Things to Consider

a)  Archie propositions Veronica - to give him motivation heh - while IN THE locker room which was previously full of his teenage students. OK so as Betty Cooper says Three is a Pattern and I’m calling it. The Riverdale High School building is Archie’s orientation. 

b)  Alice Cooper is mixing Zolpiderm (sleeping pills) with wine and that is very upsetting.  She is at least not chugging the wine straight from the bottle which I hate in movies and tv.

c) Tabitha, Cheryl and Veronica starting to cooperate as the business-owner,  maple syrup and pizzazz supplier, and big-scheme launcher is so exciting, and I kind of wish there was a spinoff with just these three women doing things, really. Like, it wouldn’t even be fanfic, because I don’t ship them, but just, these beautiful smart young women doing business together and THAT being the story would be so comforting and inspirational to me. 

[gothamsglam]

How Wonder-land-a-ful!

Transferring to SHIELD high did many things for Tony, one of them was reuniting him with James Rhodes. Just not how he wanted to.

Ever After High/Marvel Fusion. Ironhusbands, of course. (You don't have to know much about Ever After High to read this, think just some fairy tale AU and you'll be fine!)

AO3 LINK IN NOTES

I wanted to churn out one more story for the end of 2020, I thought something more silly would be a great way to end this uh year.

This idea has stuck with me for a while, and I finally wrote it.

Hope you enjoy!!!

~Vix

SHIELD High was so bland . Yes, it was grand of course, structured like the classically large fairy-tale castles of Ever After. The hallways were marble with lockers and vines lining the walls and trees and plants growing willy nilly around the school. Chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, and large arched windows showed off the beauty of the lands around them. In the distance, Tony swears he can see Sleeping Beauty’s castle.

But SHIELD high was just bland in comparison to home. To Wonderland . Not even the personalized dorms could make up for the fact that school was all year long— ew , who made that rule—instead of one day a year. Tony missed the nonsensical beauty of SI High, where the hallways ran instead of you, where you had to find the paintbrushes in passing period to paint the doors—free art credits!—, and the cafeteria that was switched with the auditorium.

But the castle-teria at SHIELD was just a long hall with rows and rows of marvel benches, pillars in the corners to honor the greek storylines and pay tribute to the last generation of Fairytale legends.

It was so boring. And just looking at it made Tony want to *poof* right there and then.

“Hi Tony,” Steve Rogers asked, coming behind him in the castle-teria, “Need a place to sit?”

Oh and this, this was another thing Tony wasn’t fond of. Transferring to SHIELD high meant he actually was walking among the children of fairy tale legend.  Disgusting.

Father was too fond of them, far too fond of them. Back when Wonderland and Ever After had many open portals between one another—back before the curse on Wonderland by the Evil Queen of the HYDRA family. Howard was an ambassador , the git.

Howard didn’t get the White Rabbit legacy as Tony did, no, Uncle Jarvis had. Howard was a part of the Wakandan court, one of many peace ambassadors to the other royal families, particularly the ones in Ever After. Oh, the tales Tony was told as a young bunny, of the Rogers Family’s legacy brought forth by the apple, of the Red Hooded Romanoffs, and the Rose pricked Wilsons.

Tony was glad he didn’t have to walk among them at SI High, he was content to only have to see them in the crowd at Legacy day. Tony was actually really excited for Legacy day, his own legacy wasn’t following his father, but rather his mother and Uncle Jarvis. Signing his page in the Storybook of Legends was a milestone Tony didn’t mind looking forward to.

However Tony also understood why James Barnes, heir to the Evil Queen, wouldn’t want to sign. To each their own, he supposes.

But ugh, SHIELD high had too many Princes, he hated it.

His nose twitching, Tony ducked away from Rogers—who was bigger, blonder, and oh the clocks was that a red crown on his stupid head? “Thanks, but no thanks, golden boy. I’ll just—uh—”

He looked out at the rows and rows of tables, at the heads of up-dos and flower pins, and the sea of gelled down curls and impeccable sleeves. Seriously how does no one have a stain on their shirt? It’s mud-loaf day!

There! Out in the crowd, a hand popped out waving him over, Tony grinned, popping up a bit and rushing away from the other guy, “See ya, Rogers!”

“Bye…?”

Resisting the urge to stick out his tongue, Tony padded away with swift steps, the click of his shoes drowned out by the noise of the castle-teria. Reaching the table in the back, he grinned at the sight of familiar friends.

He wasn’t the only one apart of the exchange program of course, in fact, he was the second wave of students, prepared by letters sent by the other students. Tony had his own assigned group of the next exchange student. A lovely little trio of kids. Peter would not stop asking about the royal classes offered at SHIELD and MJ was more interesting in the classes offered by Maria Hill. Tony wouldn’t know, of course, he switched out of those classes the second day after running into pig shit mid-chase. For a house on chicken legs, it was surprisingly very fast.

Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts was donned in swirls of light peach and blue with subtle armor around her waist and shoulders. Her hair was curled, pinned away from her face in a half updo, with the rest falling around her and nearly touching the table as she leaned in to pat the now empty spot across from her.

“Tony!” She exclaimed, freckles dancing across her face as she broke out into a smile, “got lost?” She teased.

Tony blew a raspberry, “Pssht, no, How could I get lost here? Wonderland was more interesting, this place is just boring,” he waved, twirling his fork in his food.

T’challa laughed, the matte gold detailing on his black jacket catching the light beans from the windows, it covered his purple and black card-like patterned dress shirt “That’s what you think, Stark. But with everything looking the same, you’ll pass by the same five classrooms over and over without noticing.”

Tony also laughed, “True. Remember, how—when you missed the upside-down sidewalk outside of bio-mechanics—you could end up in fishing class because of the fountain step? Every time the freshmen would come in dripping halfway through class.”

“Oh, does everyone still call them fish?” Sharon asked, pulling out Earl the dormouse from her empty teacup. He hopped up her shoulder to hide in her mini top hat. Her suit jacket was draped over her shoulders—rather than it being on the bench—and her cream shirt had mini hats detailed, blending in with the folds as it was only a few shades darker.

“Classically,” Tony replied with a wink. They turned back to their conversations, gossiping about their peers such as Maximoff—from Cinderella’s line—who was enamored with Vision—from the hunter’s line. Scandalous.

Tony halfheartedly listened to the discussion but was really on the verge of nodding off. His roommate—Justin Hammer, stupid son of the Cheshire cat—kept playing pranks on him and ruining his things with paint bombs. He almost got a fairy fail in physics because his latest essay had swamp goop over it! He had to stay up rewriting it, which wouldn’t be a problem normally but he had stayed up trying to make weld a new type of gear for his pet project.

Tony must have dozed off for a bit, because when he blinked open his eyes, he was resting on his elbows, folded under some familiar fabric. Blinking blearily at the side of his tray, Tony sat up. Well, that’s embarrassing, so much for his reputation. Pushing a hand through his hair, he avoided glancing around and instead went to look at his lap and pull out his pocket watch. However, someone else reached out to poke his side, resulting in a leap and an ‘eep!’.

“Hey there, sleeping beauty!” Rhodey smirked at him, “I think you and Wilson were supposed to have each other’s destinies. That was some impression you were doing.”

Damn him, Damn it all. Of course , Tony would fall asleep right then and there, drooling over his arms in front of James Rhodes . Of course the first time he’d see the precious son of the Alice bloodline—after literal years in different worlds—would be when he’s conked out in front of his dripping mashed potato tray in the flipping Greek castle-teria. Unbelievable, Tony.

And Rhodes— Rhodey —has the literal audacity to sit there with a playful smirk on his face. Sit there in his v-neck— v-neck!!! —map patterned shirt that should make him look like a dork but he doesn’t , and a necklace that dips over his collarbone —and oh stars —his hair .

Tony really should say something, “Uh—Hi, honey bear?” His voice cracks, because of course, it does.

“Hi, Tones,” Rhodey replies with a smile, and it’s dazzling . Tony just might scream.

Everything is muted, he couldn’t tell you if Pepper and Sharon were still talking, if T’challa had left the table or if lunch was even over. It feels like, for a brief moment, there’s only Rhodey.

Rhodey, who’s turning around to address someone else. Tony also looks away, trying to keep his ears from burning up and turning red.

“Tony, were you drawing in your mash potatoes?” Rhodey looks over, pressing slightly against Tony to peer over at his tray.

Which prompts Tony to dart out and pull the tray towards him with a, “Nooooo?”

Rhodes looks back at him, raising an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Maybe~?”

That prompted a laugh out of him, gaining the attention of Pepper sitting a bit away from them. “Oh, Tony’s still doing that? I thought that was only a Wonderland thing.”

“Hey!” Tony wrinkled his nose and glared at her, silently grateful at the fact that pulled him out of mentally gaping like a fish at his best friend—are they even best friends anymore? Rhodey probably has like a billion of them at SHIELD. “I can do it anywhere. It’s called art.”

“You wouldn’t know art if it slapped you in the face.”

Tony opened his mouth, literally about to say, ‘I mean if Rhodey slapped me in the face I would say he’s art.’ before he’s stopped by the one jellybean of a brain cell in the back of his mind.

Well that and Rhodey’s “If anyone can bring wonder with them to SHIELD, it would be Tony.”

Which, oKAY , Tony needs to stop exploding inwardly and actually say something, “Um, speaking of wonder, does anyone know anything about that one well myth?”

“The well of wonder?” Sharon asked, polling her hand from her mouth where she was probably stifling giggles, which rude, ok.

T’challa also answered, “I believe I might be of help. Why are you asking Tony?”

Tony darted a look at Rhodey—he can’t see his face because he’s looking at T’challa, but he swears that under the table his fist clenches. Weird—before looking at T’challa, “It’s a surprise,” He winked.

And it was! But for Rhodey. He was supposed to have it done pre-meeting him at lunch, but thanks to Hammer he missed his mental deadlines. It wasn’t like he had sought out Natasha Romanoff beforehand to ask about James’ schedule so he could know when they had lunch together or anything, absolutely not.

See—back when in Wonderland—, Tony and Rhodey would galavant about, exploring the lands and falling down many rabbit holes, quite literally. Tony remembers how in his workshop, Rhodey would always love seeing Tony design the swords and spears for the Wonderland card-guards—the Dora Milaje. However what Tony specialized in was watch-making, specifically enchanted watches. Watches with personality, with faces that weren’t just hands and numbers or mini mirror-pods, but near people like. Pixel-faires born of Tony’s creation. DUM-E was his first.

‘You’ was meant for Rhodey, he’d been making them ever since he heard he was chosen for the second era of exchange students. It really shouldn’t have taken so long, but without the wonder of Wonderland and his workshop, it was harder.

So when he heard about the well of wonder, the last remain flow between the two worlds, he knew he had to find it. Too bad it disappeared every night, popping up all over Ever After.

“It would be best to go with someone Tony,” Sharon said, “The well likes to frequent the forest.”

“I could go with you!” Rhodey exclaimed, well not exclaimed, that was just Tony projecting. Mostly... Maybe? No, probably.

“Really?” Tony asked, “You don’t—?”

“It’s my free period anyway," Rhodey shrugged, “Besides you’re already using my jacket, so now you can wear it in the forest too!”

“I—” Tony looks back at the table, and oh.

Oh , that’s what he was sleeping on.

T’challa mentioned stopping by their—his and Rhodey’s—dorm so they can get directions. There’s more regaling of the well, and mentions of seeing Bruce Banner and Thor frequenting the area, which ooo? But all Tony really remembers is seeing Rhodey reaching over, draping his jacket over Tony’s shoulder.

“It’s a date,” Rhodey grinned with a dazzling smile.

~FIN~

So do you like who is who? I didn't recast everyone, but I might continue this AU so maybe I will later down the line! Please let me know what you think in the comments and leave a kudo too! Love you all!!!

[lost-in-yujikiri]

Alicization Rewatch ep 22-23

1) Kirito and the Black Swordman persona

In my previous posts I have talked a lot about how Kirito actually dislikes his Black Swordman persona, the reason he’s always so awkward about exposing his Duel-Wielding skill even since ALO arc and his other related skills. And thus, while he was with Eugeo, the person with no knowledge of Kirito’s heroic fame of clearing Aincrad, he finally can stay true to his real self as a normal boy, and averted anything that is related to the Black Swordman.

However, when Kirito, Eugeo, and Alice S30 had to face their biggest enemies in Central Cathedral, he finally had to make a resolve to cast aside his inner turmoil and accept his deadly but strongest self that he tried to leave in the past, in order to pay back to Eugeo and Alice S30′s effort who had been helping him, and were helping him to defeat Chudelkin in 10 seconds. That lead to Kirito’s cool transformation scene to become the Black Swordman persona using Incarnation system, which helped him make a one shot kill.

*In the Cake timeline AU (If You Were Here - If You Wish It), a different Alicization timeline where Eugeo is still alive and Kirito/Eugeo have been together for 3 years, author Kawahara also made it clear that Eugeo is the anchor for Kirito to accept his Black Swordman persona so Kirito can turn back to that self and use its skills again.

In my mind, I’ve always been shirking from my Aincrad persona back when I was called the 《Black Swordsman》. To such an extent that I don’t even want to find out the reason why. I feel that it’s a combination of my self-degrading belief that I have no right to be treated as a hero, as well as my guilt towards the many people that have died in front of me, being associated with my past self. Yet, I believe that sensation has become quite toned down over the three years I spent with Eugeo here. While the fact that he has absolutely no knowledge of my past self is one of the factors for this, that’s not all there is to it. In front of Eugeo, I have always been able to be my true self. I’ve even been able to expose my bad and awful sides to him, wearing my heart on my sleeve. At this point in time, I might be able to accept my past self. Even as the persona of the Black Swordsman, the foundation of my Incarnation.

Novel Excerpt: SAO AU story If You Wish It Part 2

In this scene, Eugeo is very confused when he heard Administrator calling Kirito a person from “the other side”, and has a multiple conflicting thoughts happened in his mind. But Kirito thought before that he’d tell Eugeo everything if they are successful in this mission, thus this part:

For an instant, Kirito looked back at Eugeo. There was a multitude of emotions in his black pupils, but it seemed to Eugeo that foremost among them was pleading, a desperate wish for Eugeo to trust him.

LN source: Chapter 13 Part 2, Volume 14 Alicization Uniting

Sadly, that scenario never came true.

2) Administrator and Cardinal

The anime portrayed really well how terrifying, power-hungry and prideful Administrator is, and her rational point of view was even able to make Kirito unable to rebut. The Sword Golem made out of 300 living souls in UW is the epitome of her utmost cruelty and twisted view on human’s love. Even just one Sword Golem was even able to nearly kill Kirito and Alice S30 in mere seconds.

I can feel Eugeo’s despair here again, from countless times of seeing his best friends in danger or being left far away from them, unable to do anything.

The spider Charlotte, who has been with Kirito and Eugeo since the Zakkaria chapter in LN and Swordcraft Academy time decided to jump out to sacrifice itself for Eugeo to transport Cardinal here. It was a very sad goodbye for me, especially since I know how much help she was to the boys back in Zakkaria, unknowingly to them.

This is not the end to Administrator’s cruelty, she even intended to sacrifice 40,000 more souls to make her invincible army of Sword Golems to fend off the Dark Territory’s invasion. Also, despite all Administrator’s long babbles, her main goal in this fight was actually luring Cardinal here to kill her once and for all. That’s why when Cardinal arrived, Administrator closed off all doors of Central Cathedral from the outside world, so that even if any of them are heavily injured, they can’t draw Solus resource to heal their wounds, even Administrator herself (which is why when Administrator’s arm was cut off later, she couldn’t heal her arm and turned it to sword instead). That is how far she went to ensure Cardinal’s demise.

I recall from LN, The Rulid Trio were still so traumatized from the Sword Golem to the point of not being able to move from their frozen fear of death when Kirito & Alice S30 were stabbed to near death in mere seconds, as well as the fact that it’s made of 300 living human units that they didn’t have enough resolve to destroy. This is an example of what I call the reverse effect of Incarnation, which is also what put Kirito in his current state in WoU. The situation is dead end for Cardinal then: all the exits were sealed and Cardinal can’t directly kill 300 human units, because even though she might have been able to use her believing power to think that her decision to click an erase button to UW is “to save all UW souls”, it’s still against the Taboo Index for her to directly kill anything she knows as “human”. Meanwhile, Rulid Trio in their frightened state were literally dead weights for Cardinal, if Cardinal attacked Quinella, the Sword Golem will attack the trio, and if Cardinal attacked Sword Golem, she could deplete half of Quinella’s power in the process, but Quinella is still overpowered enough to kill off the Rulid Trio in that state.

So in her mind there is now only the slim chance that because Quinella had done everything just to lure Cardinal out of her 200 years of hiding, Quinella would do everything to ensure killing Cardinal first, Cardinal’s sacrifice would get enough time and motivations for the Trio to snap out of their fear, live on and defeat Administrator later. Also, even though Quinella can have her ways to bypass the Taboo Index, she can’t go against the rules & teaching set by her parents, her direct authority who have all passed away, which, as Cardinal explained to Kirito in LN, include from basic stuff like “You always have to put tea cup on tea dish” to morality like “You can not kill humans”, and in my speculation, Quinella’s parents also taught her “You have to keep your promises to others”, which is what Cardinal used to force Quinella to swear to her own Fluctlight instead of a fictional Goddess Stacia to not harm the Rulid Trio.

By the time Eugeo thought of a plan, it’s already too late for Cardinal.

3) Eugeo’s decision

When a person has chewed on their thoughts of being powerless for far too long, whenever they get their resolve, their inner willpower will be the strongest.

LN described Eugeo’s thoughts very clearly, at that moment he understood better than anyone that if they run away according to Cardinal’s wish, there is no other better chance to stop Administrator from turning 40,000 people into weapons. If they run away now they would just live with regret for years like he did, and Administrator of course would seperate them again. He thought of the seperation of Eldrie and his mother, Deusolbert and his wife, Alice and her family, and he was deadset on not letting such tragedies happen again. That’s why he thought of the analogy with the making of Sword Golem, and he asked Cardinal to turn him into a sword, with the driving core of his sword being the young Alice Zuberg’s soul crystal on the ceiling.

In the LN, Kirito wondered why only little Alice’s Crystal was not used to make the Sword Golem, and while watching Eugeo’s transformation, he came to an answer:

Thirty-one Integrity Knights. But only thirty swords in the Sword Golem. The fusion with Eugeo’s sword made it clear that the only memory fragment that hadn’t been used for that purpose was Alice’s. So why couldn’t Administrator forge a sword that would pair up with Alice’s memories? It must’ve been because Alice’s memories…her love…was too great. Young Alice loved Eugeo, loved Selka, loved her parents, loved everyone who lived in the village, loved Rulid itself, and even loved the time in which the people she loved lived and would continue to live. Even the almighty pontifex couldn’t convert time and space into solid matter. So she wasn’t able to make a sword she could link to Alice. And it was why the sword that Alice and Eugeo made was so beautiful and radiant.

LN source: Chapter 13 Part 5, Volume 14 Alicization Uniting

Therefore, the pure love of little Alice’s soul towards everybody around her is the true antithesis to Administrator’s twisted view of love. She is one of the strongest souls in UW, and befitting to fight against Administrator as well.

The giant white sword fought so well, that it defeated Sword Golem.

But much to Kirito’s desperate plea, Eugeo went off to fight Administrator as well.

And Eugeo managed to cut off Administrator’s arm…

But at a huge, huge cost…

Seeing Eugeo’s bloody form seemingly about to die, part of Kirito’s heart had died right there, his soul in tremendous pain.

“Ah……ah………” The sound that croaked from my throat came to my ears as though from a very far distance. The entire world lost color, lost smell, lost sound. Everything paled.

Let’s end this already. The thought rose from the emptiness like a bubble and popped. We—no, I—had lost, in every sense of the word. My one single reason for being in this place was to help free Eugeo’s soul into the real world. Instead, he’d sacrificed himself to protect me, and I was powerless, on my hands and knees—the man who would simply log out to reality when he died in the Underworld. I just want to fade out, to vanish from the world. I don’t want to see any more, hear any more. All I prayed for was my own obliteration. But the Underworld was its own reality, and its master was not a program designed to stop once you hit the bad ending.

LN source: Chapter 13 Part 5, Volume 14 Alicization Uniting

And when Aministrator came to the despaired Kirito to finish him off, Alice S30 jumped out to take her hit for him, and it jolt him back to remember the past, Asuna sacrificed herself to save him, just now Charlotte, Cardinal, little Alice Zuberg and Eugeo also just did so in this fight, and Alice S30 is the last one. How many more times he would keep despairing and did nothing to save the situation?

And so Kirito stood back up to fight again.

Amidst his deepest pain he’s ever felt, here it comes his final resistance, his last ditch effort

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Credit for Invader Zim goes to Jhonen Vasquez

Credit for Powerpuff Girls goes to Craig McCracken

--------------

I’m gonna wait a bit more, to talk about some feelings regarding PPG.

which has to do with some Positive and Negatives that has to do with the Fandom.

anyway I got this ship that pop into my head, had to draw a ship drawing of it....if they get married, that would make Dib and Gaz the new Big Siblings of Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup.

the chances of this ship getting more shippers is perhaps well, maybe small......I don’t know how many will like this ship.

also ever since finding out about Resident Evil Character

Lady Dimitrescu, I have seen or heard the word “Simp”

what does that mean anyway....?

she is a very tall lady, in theory I believe she could be a bit more taller than Slenderman himself.

speaking of height, I’m starting to think I’m not 5′5″ at all...

I mean once I thought I was 5′6″ but turns out I’m not.

so I asked my pendulum, asked it if I was 5′5″

it circled slow for No, asked if I am taller than 5′5″

still gives me a No.

asked if I’m 5′3″ and it gave a Yes.

even if it could explain how I notice how my shadow is,

it just seems so small even when I stand close to it, and check the height between myself and the shadow are about the same.

at least my shoes make me a bit taller.

  I guess my pendulum could be telling me the truth

about me being 5′3″......but it could be one of it’s pranks.

I’m listening to Addict right now,

the song was created by a fan called Silva Hound,

the song then ended up having it’s own official Hazbin Hotel Music Video.

 you can find the song on both Silva Hound’s channel,

as well as it’s Music Video over at Vivziepop’s channel.

and I DON’T mean the one that is called “Vivziepop Club.”

I’m still not pleased with that “club channel.”

I’m just gonna try to keep a eye out for the real episode 4

of Helluva Boss.

was playing the AU of AU FNAF game called

Five Nights of Flirting, finally got a Good Ending in them.

well the Romance ones, even if one of the characters didn’t really say they were but kind of implied it,

it is nice that they made them Ace.

well I’m Aceflux, well technically Aroaceflux.

I still find romance interesting and well do some shipping.

plus it is still possible for those who are Ace to get crushes

or fall in love, plus there are different forms of romance

that doesn’t always have to be well the intense version.

like a tender kiss on the forehead or on the cheek.

just hanging out and watching shows or movies

or reading comics or playing video games you love.

 anyway I had successfully got the Romance Endings

with Jeremy and Fritz. (in two different timelines, not at the same time.)

just need to try to get the others, and maybe I will get to a True Ending.

Purple Guy is perhaps gonna be difficult for me.

or as he is known as Vincent.

I like to think of him as the Canon Purpleman’s Son,

like the one who was always bullied by his older brother.

 I’m keeping the name I’m using, if I change it

it is most likely my progress from the Jeremy & Fritz’s timelines

will be lost. 

well the name I’m using is well, it is spelled a bit differently.

but I decided to go with “Alice”

but I decided to spell it with a “y” instead of a “i”

that alternate way of spelling Alice is interesting,

plus they both will still sound the same.

if I have another Save, that is separate from that one.

I could always try to go with the default name “Doll”

I kind of want to think of the three versions of Doll,

being siblings, a Sister, Brother and Sibling.

it be nice if Undertale had such a option.

like you could pick to be either Female or Male

or Non-Binary/Genderfluid.

those are the three picks for Five Nights of Flirting.

 well when we do play Undertale,

whatever the Bio-Sex/Gender of the Player,

it can be projected upon Frisk.

so when I play Frisk and well control them throughout the game.

I can see them as Gyno-Agender.

it isn’t like “Agender” where it is just Non-Binary.

it is a Bigender Identity, being both Binary & Non-Binary.

think of it as being a fusion, think of the song Stronger Than You.

the original from Steven Universe, but the Undertale Parody is still awesome too.

I decided to make a new tumblr avatar,

that shows both my sexuality & gender identity.

the colors I picked is suppose to be for my Aroaceflux Identity,

while inside the heart will be for my gender identity.

so it is suppose to be a Sexuality/Gender Identity type avatar flag.

also I’m gonna try to look up the whole Simp, maybe look it up later and finally figure out what it means.

cause I have No clue.

also I want to say that, it can be possible for even someone who is Ace or Aceflux, to be a empath to “pheromones”.....

even if some might think that can’t be true, I believe it is.

the best thing to keep me from picking up THOSE kinds of energies from family or others that live where I live,

is to keep wearing my bracelets that has Black Obsidian and Selenite Agate.

I started getting gems, to help me.

I even keep them under my pillow.

 I even sleep with my bracelets on too, but only take them off

when I have to take a shower or bath.

but after that, I will put them back on...

it be nice if hospitals had two types of doctors,

ones that treats well the seizures that actually needs medicine in the form of pills.

and the other giving advice to just move to a place with less negative

energy from both human and supernatural.        

not all seizures will be the type that needs pills.

but try telling doctors that, hey if someone goes through withdrawal

don’t just put them back on the pill thinking they need it.

they NEVER needed them in the first place, they needed to get away from the town because it is that place that was causing the dang seizures in the first place.

I....went through withdrawal before, even if now I believe I never truly needed them, just needed to move far enough away from the negative energy......

I think it is possible, when I thought I was being touched

but no one was touching me....I think it might of been something else that I couldn’t see that was perhaps, really touching me.

like you being touched on your arm or back.

I wish doctors didn’t misdiagnose so much.

not all seizures are gonna be the same, and some spiritual doctors would be nice to see too.

I can’t help but be, concerned about staying in a room too long

if I start to pick up certain energies...

plus I’m gonna try to take a break from using my pendulum,

so gonna try not to use it too much.

but only use it once in a while.

also if it is possible that those from a distant future

are messing with timelines,

and that is why I remember a story I was told before

that has to do with someone in my family....

then well I can only hope the ones messing with timelines,

will stay in their own timeline, and stop breaking reality.

timelines can become more fragile the more you try to tamper with it.

plus it is possible those who try to tamper with it,

will get karma, so it is best for them to stop before the karma becomes really REALLY bad.

even if you do try to correct the changes that were made,

that would most likely cause problems too, but you should only fix it

if it truly 100% needs to be corrected back to how it was

before some human messed with it.

if that is true, that would be on my list.

I’m Semi-Misanthrope, I still like humanity but there are ugly parts of it that makes me disappointed.

so there are still good, even if there are the bad mixed in there too. 

Starlight Glimmer did the same thing, but what if she wasn’t the first?

what if Sunset was the original element of Harmony,

but Celestia changed the Pony version of her friends memories.

 but in theory, if Starlight made one more change in history

it would of most likely cause a break of all reality.

I think those timelines that were created, still exist

but are now Alternate Universes, still having existence.

but not being part of the Main Timeline.

or the Beta Main Timeline, while the Alpha Main Timeline

is the one where Sunset came from I think.

 I still love SVTFOE and MLPFIM,

but I just don’t like how they seem to blame the scapegoats

for what Discord, Moon Butterfly and Mina Loveberry started.

even if some fans aren’t fans of Steven Universe Future

(and that’s okay, not everyone has to like it.)

at least that show didn’t pull the same Broken Moral Compass.

the endings of those two shows were awesome,

like Luster Dawn seems like a really interesting and awesome character.

and the whole dimensions in SVTFOE, merging is awesome.

also I’m starting to wonder if Glossryck really did die

or if no longer being bond to SVTFOE’s Realm of Magic,

left him free to explore the Multiverse.

after noticing in the magic book of spells,

that had Glossryck’s to do list.

I believe in theory he is secretly alive,

even if it is off screen, and fans might need to figure it out.

 I also believe it wasn’t Toffee who corrupted Star’s Wand or the Realm of Magic, that was Star.

it is possible the Dark Magic was always in The Butterfly Family.

well Negative Emotion Magic.

Toffee was never in the wands, he was just speaking through from where he was in the Realm of Magic.

I can’t be the only one who is noticing the habit

where Heroes kind of pull a Anti-Hero move

and don’t even bother to punish the ones who started the problem in the first place.

once more I still love those shows,

I just am not a fan of the Broken Moral Compasses moments,

like Star deciding to place the blame on Magic for her problems,

but it isn’t magic that was to blame, it was her family misusing it.

or the whole Cozy, Chrysalis and Tirek being turned into a statue.

I’m not sure if Discord even got punished for bringing those three together or for everything else he’s done that leads up to it.            

 I wonder if it’s weird to kind of start to see

Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup

as Cozy, Chrysalis and Tirek’s Reincarnations.

like Buttercup being Chrysalis’s Reborn Self,

Blossom being Tirek’s Reborn Self

and lastly Bubbles being Cozy Glow Reborn Self.

of course that would be Fanon, and not canon.

anyway, once again this ship of Utonium x Membrane

might not get many shippers.

but I think that’s okay, I mean not everyone has to like this ship.

 and if my pendulum keeps giving me a Yes

about being 5′3″, I guess I will have to believe it.

but I would need to gather more proof.

I will believe it’s Yes answer about having Multiracial heritage.

but I’m not gonna try to date HUMANS.

not unless they aren’t some stuck up racist shisno.

once again, I’m Semi-Misanthrope, even if I still like humanity,

the disgusting part of it just really disgusts me, and the whole racism thing is only part of it.

plus thanks to my pendulum, I now believe that Jesus

was indeed Black.

and all through out history it had been censored.

once again even though I am a Ma-Acolyte, I can still believe in Jesus too....but now I believe he was in fact Black.

my pendulum gave me a Yes, when I asked if Jesus’s Mother was White, and a Yes for Jesus being Black.

 but you can’t try to force people to accept that, it is best to let them accept it by their own free will.

like I mention many times before, I do NOT like forced converting.

 even if my pendulum gave a Yes

when I asked if Jesus had a interracial heritage that he had inherited from his mother Mary (Not from Joseph.)

not many people will support that, but there will still be some that will support it and believe it is true.

plus I don’t know if I should tell my family about it,

I mean I did finally talk about the whole Asexuality...

but I know there was some form of misinterpreting.

even if some who are Ace are Gay, some will be either Bi, Pan or Hetero or even Omni.

Omni can have different forms of attraction.

but I want to try to wait a while to correct my family for misunderstanding Ace, I still love my family

but I know they can misunderstand things

worse than me at times, I think. 

  I think I should take it one step at a time,

when I’m ready I will correct them about their misunderstanding of Asexuality, as well as the whole needing to tell them that there has been lies told about a distant cousin.

I’m glad I never came out as Aroaceflux,

because if I did, I would most likely get the whole

passive aggressive treatment.

which means your family still loves you, they just can’t accept ya being that way......and it might be possible it could take most families time to fully accept.

plus the passive aggressive, is less bad, it is still bad,

but it wouldn’t be as bad as the aggressive.

it is the aggressive without the passive part. 

I will try to sign back on later, so I can check on some stuff on here.

but before I sign out, I’m gonna change my avatar.

then I’m going to “Wing-Town”

I asked my pendulum, and it seems my energy wings are hugging around me right now, so I will assume I’m already in Wing-Town.

it’s like Sweater-Town, but with Earth Angel Energy Wings instead.

plus I can’t see them, but I should make sure to not go out if there are those around who can see them.

not that I can go out right now anyway.

anyway I’m just gonna hurry up and change my avatar

then I will go lay down in bed while being in Wing-Town.

then later after I finish laying down in bed

(which it is likely I might fall asleep.)

I will go and eat some good.

hope some of you like this drawing of Membrane & Utonium.

so see ya later, stay safe and remember that there many types of ships, and not all of them are romance.

 go here to learn that there is more types of “ships”

  https://shipping.fandom.com/wiki/Shipping_Wiki

just go to the part that says Shipping.

I believe that because people might misinterpret.

for Friendships, it is best to use “I Bud It”

and for Found Families, it is best to use “I Fam It.”

not using “I ship it” keeps from any misunderstandings.

maybe after I take a nap I will watch Kids Next Door,

and maybe even Invader Zim too, as well as some other Cartoon shows

and maybe even a few movies too.

I’m a bit tired, so I’m gonna hurry up and change my tumblr avatar

and then go lay down for maybe a hour or a few.

PS:

maybe this ship will get a lot of fan art, or not...I’m not really sure.

once again see ya later and stay safe....

[solo1y]

From My 2011 Diary

Sunday 15th May

Friends of mine, Blaine and Adrienne, wrote a short movie called Disgruntled. I didn't know anything about it until we were all sitting in a Korean/Mexican fusion restaurant in Riverside. I casually mentioned that I'm free most of the time if they need someone to stand around holding lights, or whatever. They both, at the same time, said "Oh you'd be perfect for the part of Kevin!"

Let's say this part, Kevin, could be anyone. Let's say he could be: 

a plumber with a heart of gold whom women keep using and abusing

a recently divorced fireman whose life is empty despite a constant supply of meaningless sex

a chronic gambler who's lost everything looking for one last score so he can quit the game

a delusional psycho internet stalker creep 

Which of these do you think they both instantly felt would be a good fit for me?

Jessica was playing the girl, who was called Alice in the script until Jessica strong-armed Adrienne into renaming the character Kat. So I kept calling her Alice, obviously. Jessica was told to turn up in "work clothes", which was a short skirt, a sleeveless, translucent shirt and four-inch heels. Then we saw the coat she'd be wearing, which was, as you'll see when the movie drops, bright red.

This was our first conversation:

"Why are you dressed like a hooker?" "These are my work clothes! Adrienne said to turn up in work clothes!" "What do you work as? A hooker?" "No!"    "Calm down, Barry."    "Don't tell me to calm down. She's the one dressed like a hooker." "I'm not!" "OK then, if you were a hooker, how would you dress differently?" "..." "Exactly."

The "hooker" jokes lasted at least two hours. Between takes, in the middle of takes, just in passing: hooker, hooker, hooker. Adrienne said she was sad she didn't get any of it on tape for the blooper reel because despite her feelings that it was mean and inappropriate, she would regularly break up laughing.

When we were filming outside the apartment block, they told me to wait around the tree, ostensibly because I was in shot, but probably because they were sick of my shit and wanted five minutes peace. Every time they reshot Jessica's bit, she had to walk back and then march towards the camera. She must have done this ten or eleven times while they were fiddling with the lights, or the angle, or whatever. When I saw her shadow on the ground, I'd start talking to her. 

Jessica had told us of some problems with her family and she indicated facetiously that her parents rejected her at birth. One time, I saw her shadow approaching and said: "Why did you parents reject you?"

At that point I realised that it was not Jessica at all, but a large, angry-looking black gentleman. Maybe he had parent problems of his own; I don't know. I tried to rescue the situation: "Oh, whoops. I thought you were a girl."

This did not improve his mood.

Production transferred indoors. I had to be shown how to text correctly, as I was doing it wrong and it looked stupid on camera. I can only assume that it had been looking stupid in real life too, as that’s how I had been texting people. 

Then we went upstairs, for the final climactic scene in the bathroom, where the psycho internet stalker creep (me) slashes the girl (Jessica) to death, leaving red pools on the white tiles of Adrienne’s en suite. 

The first bit of the bathroom shoot was Jessica having a shower, hearing a noise from downstairs and getting a fright. This scene took forever. All she had to do was wait for the knock (one of us would knock on the door) and turn in the shower and be like “ah” or “oh” or whatever. Every time, it sounded totally fake. 

Then I started thinking, maybe it’s not her fault. Maybe it’s a fake situation and no matter what she says, it’s going to sound wrong. I couldn’t even see what was happening at this stage, because I was sitting on the bed, but I could hear the conversations. So I shouted in, “Try it without any noise - she doesn’t have to say anything.” Adrienne couldn’t hear me over the sound of the shower so Blaine, who was holding the sound equipment, said it again to her: “Barry says to try it without any noise, like Jessica doesn’t have to say anything.” So they did, and she nailed it in one take. 

Now, I have no idea why this one incident should have a dramatic effect, but I could work out that it made Adrienne angry. She did not want to talk to me after this. 

Update 2020: I’ve still never spoken to her since. I haven’t spoken to Blaine either. I emailed him a few times asking for the raw footage, but he never answered me. 

We continued filming anyway. There was some stabbing bits and some crawling around on the floor bits and the last bit where I was lying on top of Jessica. We had to do this take over and over and for some of it I’d have to stay lying on top of her for a few minutes while they set up the lights.

I had to stop making hooker jokes because whenever they started the take, she’d clandestinely poke me in the ribs. Very gently, and very subtly, with one finger, poking me in the ribs. It wasn’t enough pressure to make me jump or register that it was happening at all, really, but it was enough pressure to throw me off. Jessica might be a genius. 

We got the last scene and we all went home. 

Update 2020: Disgruntled has still yet to be released. I have never seen a blooper reel. I never saw Jessica again either.

[elejah-verse]

Always/11

Fanfiction

Part 11

Elijah Mikaelson x reader/Elena Gilbert

ft. Klaroline 

AU TVD/TO story

a/n: and so another story is wrapping up. I thought I write an extra  happy chapter for all the characters. They all suffered a lot in this story.

 Thanks so much for reading. I really hope you have enjoyed it. xoxo

Spring is in the air and I feel all romantic. LOL 

warning: fluff and the Mikaelson family happiness 

tags @rissyrapp20 @dendrite-lover @cassienoble2000 @captainshurley @goddessofthunder112 @elejahforever @idkhaylijah @hides2000

__________________

A month later

Elijah and Y/N/E laid in bed looking at the first baby scan-

"Tiny little fusion of you and me"- Y/N/E said.

"Our little sweetheart"- Elijah said.

"I feel happy - and maybe it's crazy to think this way but I feel like him or her we lost sent us this baby"- -Y/N/E said tearing up.

"Him or her will always be in our hearts'- Elijah said.

"Yes, always, now dancing with the angels."- Y/N/E said then turning to Elijah looking at him seriously-

"Last night- I went through one of my drawers in the walk-in and found this key"

Y/N/E got up and now showed Elijah the unusual key.

"This is from a deposit box"- Elijah said.

"Do I have a deposit box? Probably, ha? Can't remember. You know that still have bits missing in my head"- Y/N/E continued-"but why would I keep it in a drawer full of sports socks? Completely at the back of it?"

"I really don't know"- Elijah then said-"it really doesn't makes sense-"

"We can find out, can't we?"- Y/N/E said.

"Of course. I will get one of my friends tell me what bank it is"- Elijah took the key.

"Ok. Do that first thing tomorrow, now kiss me - us- and let's get some sleep. Rebekah is coming over and we are going through the whole ideas  she has done for the vows-renewal ceremony"

"Good luck"- Elijah joked a little bit.

"I know."- Y/N/E smiled kissing him.

Flashback

A week or so previously

Rebekah met Y/N/E for lunch

"Elijah told me that you two are renewing your vows. How come I didn't get this from you?"- Rebekah shot at Y/N/E as she sat down at the table.

"Because- ahm- we don't want anything big- just family"- Y/N/E to be diplomatic and cursed Elijah a tiny little bit for having slipped it to his sister.

"Oh no. Last time you eloped. This time you have to give us a bit more."

"Ok. Semi-big then, but really just family and closest friends. Deal?"- Y/N/E said.

"Hm-"- Rebekah let out and she knew that Y/N/E made sense-" we have a deal!"

"Anyway you'll get to have a grand thing yourself"- Y/N/E then said.

"What? Me? Please, like that is ever going to happen-"- Rebekah sighed a bit.

"I thought that things between Stefan and you are really going good."

"They are- but we are like thousand years from a proposal. Not everyone is like you and Elijah."

"I've seen the way he looks at you. He is a keeper"- Y/N/E said.

"Really- he looks at me dreamy?"- Rebekah asked as if she was a fifteen year old girl not really sure if her boyfriend was that into her.

"Duh"- Y/N/E replied.

"You're not just telling me to make me feel better"- Rebekah carried on with her insecurities. She was only like that when love was the topic.

"Please! I am serious about stuff like that. Now, show me what you got."

"Right."- Rebekah said filled with special energy-"you have got to have a designer dress. Here are some suggestions. Don't look at me like that. It will be three months after you give birth. You will fit in easily with all the yoga you are doing and healthy food you're eating" **** After Kol was released from the hospital, he and Sophie moved in with his father and mother, as he still had not recovered fully. Everyone was proud of his decision even though they have scolded him a bit since it was a dangerous thing. Jeremy's killers were charged and they had enough evidence to put them away for a long time. Mikael and Esther, as well as the others were ecstatic to find out that there was another Mikaelson baby on the way. 

The Mikaelsons had officially invited the Gilberts to a dinner to something that resembled a miniture peace conference that had Y/N/E and Elijah as mediators and the uniting force with a little help of their now joint therapist Camille. Another huge revelation came a day before the dinner as Miranda needed Y/N/E to know that she was her and Greyson's adoptive child. Camille found that Y/N/E had the strength to face all and it was important as the process of putting the past where it belonged.

"We don't know who your father was."- Miranda said-"I couldn't get pregnant and so we decided to adopt. The only thing we knew was that your mother was a sixteen year old girl, who was a runaway."

Y/N/E would lie if she said that it didn't matter, but with Elijah by her side and Camille's excellent guidance, she had all the support to process everything. And she poured a lot of her 'processing stuff' into her art, which was also a great theraputic vessel.

She had also changed the location of her attelier. Only a block away from their home, an celler apartment was transformed into her attelier. As Elijah asked what it was going to be she only said that she was inspired by Alice's adventures.

*** The last puzzle to solve was the key of a deposit box.

Flashback

A few days before Jeremy's death

Y/N/E rang Jeremy to come to her house to talk. It was her zillionth attempt to get through him even though she knew that she might not succeed. She prepared lunch for them.

"Hey sis, something really smells good, but will it taste good"- Jeremy snarked a bit as he got in.

"Stuffed tomatoes- the way you like them"- Y/N/E replied.

"Right. What is this about?"- Jeremy asked as they got in the kitchen.

"Does it have to be about anything? I haven't seen you properly in ages. I thought I'd see you at mom and dad's anniversary party- but you bailed. Mom was really sad"

"Please- with all those hypocrites hanging about I really was not in the mood. I got them a present and saw them two days after  - and no biggy"- Jeremy said.

"But still. Anyway, I need to  finish the sauce. Can you pass the wine - the south- american merlot."

"Ok. I need to swing to the bathroom"- Jeremy said,  got the wine and went out the kitchen. But, before the bathroom he went to Y/N/E’s walk-in wardrobe and hid the key in the drawer.

At the bank as they finally found out what deposit box it was for, they also found out it was Jeremy's.  After getting the approval to open the deposit box they found large amounts of money.

Y/N/E looked at it as if hypnotized, at first not saying anything. Elijah was fuming inside of him, but had to keep his cool as he didn't want to upset Y/N/E further.

"You know - huh- I can't believe it. Why? Huh- why was he like that? We have done nothing but love him. He had everything. Good education. A good beginning. And he just didn't care about anything or anyone"- and Y/N/E threw the box full of the dirty money up in the air, and the dollar bills flew all over the place.

Elijah jumped immediately down to her as she was sitting in the chair gently taking her by the arms- "Darling, look at me."

Y/N/E was crying-" Why?"- she muttered.

"There is no plausible answer. Some people get consumed with the darkness and - just can't get out of it - unfortunately. "

Y/N/E knew it. She tried to understand it so many times and had always hit the dead end. Elijah gave her a comforting hug.

At home Y/N/E wrote in her diary-

"Walking through Wonderland sometimes feels like you will get squashed by a giant pumpkin or open a door and slip into abyss and think you will never stop falling and hit something hard, but then you have a cat appear out of the woods bandiging your wound. There are days of colorful charades and dreamy Balls or at the turn of the clock they become a place of the darkest horror as everyone turns into zombies or leeching vampires. And then the clock strikes twelve and a prince grabs your hand or in my case a very handsome viking and kisses me like noone before making my heart accelerate to cloud eleven. Why eleven, I don't know. But I bet there is cloud eleven. Just like magic I am flying free.

And no matter what the weather we can do it better, with you and me together forever and ever... with clear heart and courage. Always."

××× In the weeks tha followed Y/N/E had her first exhibition after the accident,  She called it Walking through Wonderland. 

__________

Three months later

"Rebekah, can you please pick the cake up and take to the penthouse. I am still at the gallery. I've just spoken to him and he is mad that he had to stay longer at work."- Y/N/E said to her sister-in-law.

"I can't believe we made my father in on the whole surprise party thing. So, Elijah still thinks we are just meeting for drinks?"- Rebekah said.

"Yeah. I will then call him and say that I need picking up from the house. "- Y/N/E said-"I got to go- see you there in an hour." 

Flashback 

Couple of weeks ago

Rebekah met Y/N/E in her studio- "What's so urgent? Don't tell me you scraping the whole thing- cos I will not let you. The designer dresses are ordered"

"I called you about something else"- Y/N/E said-"I want to do something special for Elijah's birthday. He doesn't want anything particular. But I want to do something a little bit particular. It is his 40th."

"You want to do a surprise party!"- Rebekah said.

"Yeah, let's. He has been so wonderful throughout it all. I want to make it memorable.  Let's do his favourite food, his favourite everything, music, cheese-cake."

"You-"- Rebekah added.

Y/N/E chuckled a bit to the comment-"so, will you help me?"

"What are you talking about, of course, I will help you, duh! My company just won best party organizers of the decade!"

"I know, but you got so much work plus Stefan"- Y/N/E said.

"Talk about Stefan, I need to cancel our trip to New Orleans"

"Why? Not because of this? Don't."

"He will understand. I am helping a pregnant woman."- Rebekah said.

"No. This is your week away with a guy that you will marry- don't. I will manage."

"What do you mean - marry? Do you know something?"

"Oh, shoot"- Y/N/E said spoiling the surprise Stefan had installed for Rebekah.

"He is going to propose?"- Rebekah was out of her breath.

"Well, Bonnie heard him talk to Damon about - how you're the one!"- Y/N/E tried to wriggle her way out of it.

"But that doesn't mean he is going to propose? It's mad anyway, we've been together three months! This can't be right!"

"It is!"- Y/N/E said-"ok, Bonnie said he got a ring. So, don't go spoiling it. And act surprised."

Y/N/E finally caved in.

"Really?"- Rebekah was completely taken.

"Promise to be surprised"- Y/N/E said.

Days that followed, Rebekah was exercising patience, but it was the hardest thing to do. She even succumbed to look into the chest of drawers one night she stayed over at Stefan's while he was in the shower. but she didn't find it.

A day before the trip as she had breakfast with Y/N/E and Elijah, her brother asked her why she was on edge joking -

"Taking a whole week of work- how will you survive?"

"It's not that."- Rebekah blasted.

Elijah was surprised at her explosive reaction -" Am I missing something here? You are going on a romantic get-away and it's like you're going for torture?"

Rebekah sighed now telling him about Stefan's probable proposal.

"Oh?"- Elijah looked at Y/N/E who nodded and then told him how the whole probable thing came about.

"And you're a wreck cos you don't want to marry him?"- Elijah was confused.

"I do. I just can't wait for the thing happening- the proposal, I mean. And what if he doesn't do it there. You shouldn't have told me"- Rebekah said getting up-"got to go. Later-"

Rebekah left and Elijah remarked- "I've never seen her so stressed- and this is supposed to be about a good thing?"

"She is really in love with him. And yeah, I shouldn't have told her anything. It just slipped. Bonnie and I just talked and we got to the topic of true love and how she and Damon started off bickering when they met in college and turned to be OTL and Stefan could not find anyone, going from one relationship to another, just like Rebekah."

"I am glad for Rebekah. Yeah, she is really in love. Acting like a teenager. What's OTL?"- Elijah now asked .

"One true love"- Elena explained-"you're my OTL"- she came around the hub to him and kissed him. "You're my OTL, too"- Elijah said caressing her hair as he now kissed her back.

And Stefan did propose. Rebekah was bursting with happiness sending a photo to everyone in the family. 

___                       

Y/N/E got to the apartment carrying a little box. Everyone had already been there. Except for Elijah and his father.

As she got to the living room, she saw Rebekah telling everyone where they should stand.

Y/N/E greeted her guests putting her present on the sideboard.

Rebekah now turned to her-

"Ah, you're here. Ok. Will you go and change? I will help you. Father just called and they will soon be on their way"- Rebekah said to Y/N/E, who nodded and they went up to her walk-in together.

As she had a quick shower and changed, she made a call to Elijah.

"Hey, baby-" -Y/N/E said-"I just got in, and I need to change. Could you please come and get me. I don't really want to get a taxi"

Elijah would never refuse her, especially now that she was pregnant. And so they were on their way to the apartment.

To make the ruse complete, Mikael said he would wait for them in the car.

Elijah went up and got into the apartment.

"Y/N/E?"- he called  putting his bag on the chair and heard her say -"living room"

Elijah walked in and everyone shouted -"Happy birthday" - together with Y/N/E, who walked over to him smiling happily.

He was taken aback just looking at everyone wide-eyed. Mikael was there then as well.

"Happy birthday!"- Y/N/E said once again.

"Wow- I- "

Rebekah now passed on a glass of champagne to him and a non-alcoholic cocktail to Sophie and Y/N/E then let her take center stage.

Y/N/E now stood in front of Elijah, her gleaming eyes looking at him, watering a little-

"Elijah - my love - you have been there for all of us at one time or the other and you have been giving and giving and we wanted- I wanted you to know that you are so appreciated and loved- so just wanted to do something special - to always remember"

They all raised a glass to him.

"What can I say- thank you- so much. This is great- really is"

Y/N/E then gave him the gift. He unwrapped it and there was a watch with the engraving 

                       He embraced her dearly and kissed her.

Then there was cake cutting, buffet, more cocktails, music and dance.

I can hear her heartbeat for a thousand miles And the heavens open every time she smiles When I come to her That's where I belong

She gives me love love love Crazy love 

_____________

Time passed by, as it does, and they all continued with their lives in a positive way, never to forget the difficulties of the past supporting one another as best as they could.

This whole ordeal Y/N/E, Elijah, Kol went through made them appreciate so much more what they had, the people that were around them, old friends and new, especially their loved ones.

"So, what are you doing today?"- Elijah asked his wife as he brought the breakfast at the terrace where Y/N/E tried to make herself comfortable on the lounge sofa. She was now in her ninth month and her delivery date was just a few days ahead. Sophie was no better. Kol was as much as Elijah, a dotting father-to-be, fulfilling any craving Sophie had.

"Rebekah, Sophie, Bonnie and Caroline are coming over for late lunch and the double baby shower. There is nothing much I can do. My feet are swollen, my back hurts, I am big as a whale. I need a distraction."

"I thought you will not do the baby shower till after the baby comes-"- Elijah said helping Y/N/E sit more comfortably.

"I need something happening- so I told Rebekah yes to the baby shower and only the six of us. We will make a huge party for both our and Kolphie’s baby after."- Y/N/E explained.

"You are really getting into the party thing-"- Elijah remarked.

"Yeah- after everything we've all been through- why not? Why shouldn't we party? Let's celebrate life"

"You're right"- Elijah said smiling at her and now offered to give her a foot massage.

"Oh, thank you"- Y/N/E said happily-"I knew now why I married you"

"Now you know?"- Elijah teased her a little.

"You are the best foot massager  in the world"- Y/N/E said-"I mean- it is your hands that are just -oh- this soo gooood"

Elijah was happy seeing her relaxing. His soul whispered a little thanks  to the Universe for giving him precious moments like these, moments that at one time he thought would might never be.

"Did I tell you lately how happy I am?"- Elijah then said.

"No. But you don't have to tell me"- Y/N/E said-"I see it. Feel it"

"Well, I think I should say it anyway. "

"Of course, you should. We deserve a little happy"- Y/N/E remarked.

"We do, don't we?"

The way he said underlined a little bit of scared to be really happy and Y/N/E now reached to him with stretching his hand out to him to come closer to her.

Elijah immediately moved to assist her as he thought she needed him to help her get up or something and she pulled him towards her pouting a little, which meant she wanted  a kiss. And he kissed her dearly.  

"It will all be fine"- she said to him-" we deserve more than just a little happy."

He nodded and now kissed her again. 

"Anyone home?"- they heard Rebekah shout out all of a sudden.

They both moved as if they were caught in an inappropriate moment with Elijah shouting back that they are up on the terrace. 

"She has to return the key"- Elijah then said and Y/N/E nodded saying in a whisper- "You will tell her!"

Elijah made a face like can you not do it?- and Y/N/E shook her head saying in a very low voice- "You will have to- "

What it was they both felt like they would be hurting her feelings, as Rebekah has been there for both of them whenever they needed her and she had this exclusive right to come and go as she pleased. 

"Hi. Ok. I know I am early, but I got here with all the stuff ready and well, wanted to sit down with you, too for a little chat."

Both Y/N/E and Elijah knew that there was some kind of drama coming out and they were not wrong-

"Right. I will say it - Stefan has asked me to move in with him"

"And that is bad because?"- Elijah reacted immediately.

Rebekah now sighed-"It is bad because- well- I love my place- and- you know-"- Rebekah now looked at Y/N/E for a comment and support.

"And you don't like his place? And here goes tricky- how to tell him you want to but not really, but he should move into your place!"- Y/N/E said and Elijah was now looking at both of them like- I don't see a problem or drama here.

"You wouldn't get it anyway"- Rebekah shot at her brother-"you two never had this problem- you got together- got engaged- eloped and got to - well- you started living here like it was a normal thing."

"It was easy"- Y/N/E said-"Elijah's bachelor pad was too bachelor and had loads of bachelor history- plus- I never brought anyone here, except for him."

"You're not making it easier"- Rebekah moaned.

"You will either have to tell him you don't wanna move with him or ask him to move in with you!"- Elijah then said.

"What if he says no and then everything gets awkward and I lose him?"- Rebekah went on.

This was a cue for Elijah to leave as he knew Rebekah was going to grind about this particular thing forever.

He kissed Y/N/E goodbye and told his sister that she should not overthink too much.

"He doesn't get anything"- Rebekah remarked as Elijah walked away.

"Ok. Do you want to hear what I think"- Y/N/E then said.

"Yes. Shoot"- Rebekah said.

Y/N/E then laid out her thoughts in a very diplomatic way. 

__

Elsewhere, Caroline and Klaus were on the phone to one another as Caroline slipped very early out of his apartment as she had to go to her place to change and then to the studio to meet the new co-anchor and talk about how they would do the show.

"I think it's time you brought some stuff over to my apartment"- Klaus said.

"How romantic"- Caroline remarked.

"I thought you were a very pragmatic person. You told me to do any extravagant- no crazy gifts. I am just being practical. How many times did you have to get up at five to get to go to your place etc"- Klaus retorted.

"I don't know how we always wind up in your place, so, I have no other choice"

"Let's make a choice then"- Klaus said.

"What would that be?"- Caroline asked chuckling a bit.

"Marry me and everything is solved."- Klaus said.

"What did you just say?"- Caroline was stunned.

"What part?"- Klaus played innocent.

"The marry me part!"- Caroline said.

"Ah, that. Yes. Marry me"- he said.

"You are not serious?"

"I am very serious."- Klaus said and by the tone of his voice it was clear to Caroline that he really meant it.

She went quiet- in her head a little trailer rushed through beginning with their first meeting and to that very phone call.    

"Caroline?"- she could hear Klaus now on the other line bringing her back to reality- and she replied-

"I- did you have to ask me over the phone?"- Caroline was miffed.

Klaus now knew that he had messed up. But, as always knew way out of it- "Well- you hate all OTT stuff, so I thought if I do it in a casual way - this 8s the way to go"

"Seriously?"- Caroline said slightly annoyed.

"No"- Klaus admitted-"it just came out"

"It came out?"

"Yes. I had no plan, but I want to marry you. You are the one for me, my southern belle. You have been from day one!"

Caroline was left speechless, and that was a rare thing.

"I have to go. I'll see you later"- Caroline eventually said and hang up.

_____________________________________

[collusioncomics]

Still Not Dead Yet...

You may have guessed that I’ve got some blockage in the brain, hence the lack of content for months now...  I’ve had a few ideas on the back burner that I kept passing on when I ran into issues, until finally now they are all the only things left on the back burner.

One is [Orion/Ghost Rider] and [Mister Miracle/Black Panther], another is the Fantastic Four, featuring [John Constantine/Reed Richards], and then also the Shazam family, which I’ve just had a few competing drafts of...

As for the the New Gods thing, my issue is largely that actually getting to Orion and Mister Miracle means having to iron out the whole God Wave, Source Wall, and New Genesis-v-Apokalips backdrop and that’s just tedious.  I’m also still wavering on how to handle [Mister Miracle/Black Panther] in a way that doesn’t feel too ham handed, or worse just really awkwardly insensitive.  On the one hand Black Panther’s real core appeal points hinge around Wakanda being on Earth’s Africa and on T’challa being a proud and powerful king.  Innately having to incorporate the New Genesis thing meddles with that.  Sure, he can still be a black guy in space, but the untethering from Earth and Africa takes a lot of the bite out of that.  Also, while I love the idea of using Apokalips’ slave camps, and Mister Miracle’s escape artist and chains motifs to create a chain breaker and slave liberation narrative, it does feel like it’s kind of a step down from the stature of the Black Panther image.  So there have been many rewrites, and none have felt right.  Also several of them have necessitated heavy rewrites to the larger background lore as well, so that wastes a lot of time.  It’s just been a tricky one in general.

With the F4 there’s a nigh infinite dilehma in constantly shuffling around basically everyone other than [John/Reed] and [Spectre/Dr.Doom].  I’ve tried Enchantress, and Madame Xanadu, and Deadman, Pandora, and even Black Alice as components to go with Susan Storm, but of them all none quite click the way I’d like.  Johnny Storm too has been tricky to find a good match for, although I’m rather partial to Shade the Changing (Wo)Man, but Negative Man, Deadman (again), and Zauriel, among others were passed around.  For Ben, Deadman was once again considered, Zauriel again as well, Blue Devil, Ragman, and Frankenstein’s Monster are all ideas I can still recall.  For a moment I even considered just throwing the whole family together with the Trench Coat Brigade, but that felt super arbitrary and with no real synergy.

Key to a lot of this were ideas about sticking to Johnny’s “Flame On!” sequence to produce/retain some form of flashy, almost finger snappy, activation.  Zauriel offered the option of him bursting into holy flame while sprouting wings, perhaps also of flame, which was certainly tempting.  Zauriel was also an option for Ben, albeit from a different angle; lending to Thing’s Thing-ness and Zauriel’s biblical origin the idea that he might take the form of a biblical canon angel, a collection of looping rings and eyes and wings and fire rather than a man in any sense was very appealing to Ben’s “everyone treats me like a monster/freak“ drama, but it also made the logistics of any kind of day to day life too bizarre to gloss over comfortably.  Deadman too offered opposed angles for the two of them; with Johnny it would be a kind of astral projection power with an emphasis on the “projection” as far as visual design goes --launching him out of his body in a very dramatic fashion-- but for Ben it’d be more of an existential terror, with his disembodied spirit having no body of its own and able to possess only inanimate objects, with the inclusion of corpses, rendering him very literally The Thing(s).  Sue actually has less compatibility issues, but all of them are also pretty equally do-able, which left her waiting on the other two in the event that making a decision for either Johnny or Ben might offer some synergy with one of Sue’s many options.

And finally the Shazam Family...

I bring up the family together here and not just Shazam because his powers actually make him pretty tricky to work with.  I actually considered Kamala Kahn’s Ms.Marvel, but that felt really on the nose.  I considered him and Black Bolt as a play on words of power and literal voice powers, but incorporating the Inhumans was messy at best.  I considered the Runaways and merging The Pride (the villainous parents) with The Salem Seven.  I considered merging Black Adam with Nicholas Scratch and the Salem Seven with the Seven Deadly Enemies of Man.  (Keeping in mind here that I’ve sort of already committed to [The Wizard Shazam/Agatha Harkness])

For a while I messed around trying to find some way to mix and match the whole Immortus storyline with the fact that we have Kang and Zod together here in Collusion, and that Shazam is kind of a Superman knockoff, but that went nowhere...  I tried Shazam and Adam Warlock...  At a very early stage in Collusion I even considered Shazam and Deadpool and Howard the Duck...  And for a bit even Black Adam and Dr.Doom.

It’s just been a real big weird mess trying to pin down a balanced trio of powers, origins, and personality.

There’s also a whole mess involving the Skrull that I haven’t even gotten to a point where I could start a draft, not that I’m sure where I’d start it...

But I’ll get back to posting something more substantial eventually.  I do think stepping away from all this when I did was probably a good move.  But it’s the  getting back into it that’s proving tricky.  Still, I figure some kind of update beats nothing, and honestly I meant to do even this post sooner and put it off. Also, I confess I’ve distracted myself in the meantime with alternate fusions as well as just faffing about with things we’ve already got more or less set in stone, without adding anything new.

Not a great use of time, I know... :P

[raining-v-coffee]

Harry Potter Crossover fic recs

*Multichapter    ~my notes

Sherlock

Whispers in Corners

Everything started with a stumble - his new life in a new world as well as his surprisingly successful career as a medium.

Business

The Dursleys didn't raise Harry Potter to be a very good boy.

Mildest of fusions with Sherlock Holmes

Patience Rewards Itself WIP

Sebastian Moran's job was simple this time; 'fix' Vernon Dursley. He was prepped to do it. He had no problem doing it. That is, until he sees an unidentified boy with no record of existence at the residence thrown out of the home. Thus, Harry Potter gains an (admittedly unconventional) family, Jim gets a protégé and Seb just hopes that Harry won't wind up quite as...off as his Dad.

Symphony WIP

Despite all the magic in the world, Harry had never encountered magic like that of a genius mind. A whole family of them was bit overwhelming really.

Naruto

Loyalty

Magic, wonderful, strange and unpredictable magic took note of him and instead of doing the logical thing, acknowledging what he is, carving out a place between all the other wondrous creatures in this world – magic lifted him up instead.And left him somewhere else.

~ I had this story under a different classification. Whoops! Many thanks to mori-esque for letting me know!

Growing Strong

A young Jasmine Potter escapes a terrible home situation by teleporting herself to the Elemental Nations. Against all odds, she will turn her life around, gain family and friends, and finally… Grow Strong. Warning: Abuse in first chapter, mentions of abuse in following ones.

And it’s sequel, Chasing Shadows WIP

~ I adore this series.

Gringotts Partnership Mature

Hermione never imagined the doors opened to her when she accepted a job as a Gringotts ward-creator. When she receives an opportunity to study she cannot pass up on it and is introduced to a young jounin Minato Namikaze. This changes everything.

Harry Potter and the Secrets of Konoha WIP

Instead of sending Harry back to Privet Drive to sit on his thumbs after Voldemort's rebirth, Dumbledore sends him, Ron, and Hermione to a village called Konohagakure to learn how to defend themselves.

Harry & Co are 14 (end of fourth year). Naruto & Co are 12-13 (beginning of canon). Pairings (if any) are undecided, but will not be central.

Beautiful Star (Or: Why Studying Equals Ramen) WIP

After an unfortunate incident with a compromised Portkey and some revenge-obsessed Death Munchers, a barely eighteen years old GWL must learn quickly to navigate the Elemental Countries, as well as to raise her baby godson, the only one who tagged along on her next great adventure. Heavily injured, starving herself to feed the little six-month-old and deathly afraid of the very real threat of death, Harry is ready to give up when an unexpected hand helped her out. Jiraiya - who only a few years prior suffered the loss of his most prized student - can't help himself when he finds the tiny girl trying to survive without a real understanding of the world around her. For her child. Somehow the Hokage thinks she's a perfect care-taker for her new neighbor, a five-year-old boy hated by nearly the whole village. Now what the hell did she get herself into this time?

Of Authors, Books and Fuinjutsu WIP Mature

After the war a bitter and disillusioned Hermione decides to move to the pocket dimension called Elemental countries. Watch how certain Konoha shinobi change the course of her life.

Deer tracks WIP Mature

Harriet Potter has to flee from England better yet, she has to vanish from this World. An acquaintance has a solution for the problem but is she really ready for what this entails? Fem Harry Potter

Doctor Who

Not Not-Human

Cold-case disappearances, gruesome murders, and unexplainable disasters, and a spate of terrorist attacks rocked the UK only to end with an explosion in a tiny village. The Doctor and Rose Tyler followed the trail of the invisible war for years, but never thought their search would lead to a baby with a lightning bolt scar.

The Littlest Time Lord

The Doctor answers a distress call and finds that he is not as alone in the universe as he suspected he was.

Just a Wrong Turn

All libraries are one, which is how one late night in the Hogwarts library, Harry Potter finds himself lost in the library on board the TARDIS...

The Rising Storm *

Harry Potter opens a fob watch, and his life and destiny is changed forever.

The Originals

Die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt WIP Mature

After Voldemort returned in book 4, Prof. McGonagall decides to ask an old friend for help. 15 years have passed since Dahlia died, so when a owl reaches New Orleans, Elijah gladly comes to the rescue. And while Hermione tries to figure out the secrets of their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Voldemort is looking for an ally to make the fight even again.

Avatar The Last Airbender

Harry Potter and the Avatar's Return

After finding a torn comic in the trash when told to clean Dudley’s room, four year old Harry Potter puts it together with some odd things that have happened around him, and concludes that he’s the Avatar.

- Not a crossover so much as a fic in which Harry Potter is convinced that Avatar: The Last Airbender is a historical documentary.

Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit

The Dragon of Moria

After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry Potter helped with the rebuilding and then went back to school, sitting his NEWTS and graduating with the rest of what The Daily Prophet called ‘The Disrupted Class.’ Following that, everyone expected him to become an auror. Harry himself expected it, right up until the moment came to apply to the academy.

He takes up a hobby instead, and it leads him to a whole new world.

This Dream's On Me * WIP

Fili has heard the whispers, between his uncle and his men. There's going to be a quest, a quest to reclaim Erebor and he wants in. The warrior witch he meets in his dreams doesn't seem to think it's a good idea for him to go though. At least, not alone. Eventual FilixFemHarry

The Avengers

Spellist

The new reality had no wizards or magical nations – but it had a whole boatload of powerful and occasionally inept sorcerers. Who were usually semi-public and sometimes very popular in social media. How it worked, Harry had no idea.

~ Harry/Coulson

Valiant *

When Loki's Staff spat out a girl with a lightning bolt scar, HYDRA were not expecting things to go downhill so fast.

They certainly weren't expecting their new unknown to run off with the Winter Soldier.

Real Enough

Harry Potter, JARVIS and whole lot of artificial existentialism.

where there are no keepsakes

She stalks into his office and throws the letter onto his desk. “Returned unopened, Headmaster,” she says.

There isn’t even an address, just the name Harry Potter. “Oh, dear,” Albus murmurs. Then, with barely a glance at her, “Thank you, Minerva. I’ll handle it from here.”

[AU where Harry Potter did not grow up with the Dursleys -- he was raised by Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes]

Son Of The Champion WIP

Fury needs Coulson to do one quick side trip while passing through England, just a check in on a person of interest to S.H.I.E.L.D.

Daredevil

Wizarding 101: Murderous Megalomaniacs and Their Lasting Effects on Children WIP

Before Voldemort set foot inside Godric Hollow, Vernon Dursley died in a car crash. The shock of it sent Petunia into a catatonic state and, thus, into an institution--but once upon a time, Lily and Petunia Evans' mother was a Nelson, and so when Albus Dumbledore lays Harry Potter at the doorstep of Number Four, Privet Drive, it isn't Petunia Dursley that finds him.

It's Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson.

Ten years later, Harry Jonathan Nelson, of Hell's Kitchen, New York, finds himself a part of a world neither he nor his guardians suspected he was ever a part of, having instead thought of himself as a metahuman with vaguely nebulous powers being trained by the Scarlet Witch, and along with discovery comes danger. It'd be a lot more terrifying, though, if his hometown didn't regularly have supervillains holding up banks and traffic, and if superheroes didn't swing past their apartment every day. And, of course, if one of his parents wasn't Daredevil.

(or: Matt and Foggy raise Harry Potter, with assistance from Karen and Kirsten and some others. things go from there.)

Full Metal Alchemist

The Path of Flame *

Roy Mustang is pretty sure Dumbledore is crazy. Who in their right mind would ask him to raise a newly-orphaned baby?

(Harry Potter's first year at Hogwarts, with changes courtesy of his being raised by the Flame Alchemist. I apologize for nothing.)

~ This whole series is golden. ❤

The Adams Family

Harveste Addams * WIP

Harveste began like this - another inconspicuous day in a slew of boring days, starting off with a perfunctory visit to the market, messing about with what could possibly be a very silly idea, and ending in a sense of accomplishment and the first installment. The day after that, buoyed into hitherto unfamiliar levels of ecstasy by readers’ comments (seriously, thank you so much to my first readers), the second installment. And then it just snowballed from there: the researching, the planning, watching and searching out all the little macabre details in a feverish giddy rush.

~ This is such a delightful concept. From the first time I read it many years ago, to every re-read I fall in love with this story over and over again.

Star Trek

Reaching for the Stars *

Hermione Granger is an Unspeakable on a solo mission tracking down escaped Death Eaters. Unfortunately she has to travel across dimensions in pursuit of her targets. After Gotham she ends up on a one way trip to the future and the stars.

Twilight

Aurora Explicit

Alice Lily Potter survived the war, but not unchanged. Pursued by those who regard her new prophetic ability as a valuable resource, and aren’t willing to take ‘no’ for an answer, Alice makes a difficult choice which sends her tumbling into the unknown. There, she finds a whole new world to explore… and love just waiting to be found.

X-Men

Harry Potter and the March of the Sentinels WIP

Harry has never been what you'd call normal, and he generally expects the unexpected to happen all the time when he's concerned. But what's a guy to think when, barely an hour after he saves his cousin from Dementors, the two of them are attacked by Sentinels? Luckily, the X-Men arrive in time to pull them to safety. But what will the Order of the Phoenix say?

Bleach

Lost Boys

After the Triwizard fiasco, Harry leaves Britain behind for a new life. Uryuu befriends Ichigo at a much younger age. Sirius escapes. Points converge and lost boys find a family. Isshin fails. So does Ryuuken. Kisuke finds a friend. Ukitake covers and cleans up. Fate changes.

Multi

Tumbling HP Crossovers WIP Mature

Crossover snippets done to prompts from Tumblr. Harry Potter centric. Slash, crack, au, etc.

Stargate

D.S.S. Requirement *

The Dumbledore's Army use the Room of the Requirement to get themselves a spaceship.

(Knowledge about Stargate is not necessary to read this story)

Yu-Gi-Oh

King's Jackal WIP

Wrecking all of Dumbledore's plans, the Power Dark Lord Knows Not walks up to Harry in the summer before his fifth year, and asks for directions.

To my Masterpost of Harry Potter Recs <3

I also have rec lists for Naruto and Doctor who.

[ricardosousalemos]

Alice Coltrane: World Spirituality Classics 1: The Ecstatic Music of Alice Coltrane Turiyasangitananda

Ashrams, physically speaking, are not easy to reach. Traditionally set at some remove, they are expanses of nature and silence and deliberate living that involve meditation, yoga, and communal meals. They instill a pleasant buzz. To visit the Sai Anantam Ashram, which Alice Coltrane founded and directed from 1983 until her death a decade ago, required a winding and mountainous Southern California drive; one could easily miss the gate. When you approached the entrance, as Franya J. Berkman wrote in her 2010 book Monument Eternal, the music of Coltrane and her devotees floated up from speakers set beside the dirt driveway.

Coltrane’s rare ashram tapes have long been mythical. In the mid-1970s—after a rich musical life steeped in Detroit churches and bebop piano, as an accompanist to her husband John and over a decade composing her own visionary cosmic jazz—Coltrane began to retreat from public and secular life. The pain of John’s sudden death from liver cancer in 1967 set this path. “I.H.S.,” from her album Huntington Ashram Monastery, stood for “I have suffered.” Coltrane—harpist, mother of four, Black girl Virgo, a woman who conferred with Stravinsky in her meditations—had shared a life with heaven incarnate. When heaven went away, she created heaven on Earth.

In 1969, Coltrane’s life was irrevocably changed when she heard the guru Swami Satchidananda speak at a New York church. Not long after, she moved her family from suburban Long Island to San Francisco and then finally Agoura Hills, Calif. There, she founded the ashram, wrote diffuse spiritual texts, appeared on public access television, and made four collections of exquisitely singular devotional music. Coltrane producer Ed Michel, in a 2002 feature for Wire magazine, recalled how she flummoxed her major label: “When Alice wanted to record the things which were essentially chanting by her students, the Warner Brothers project supervisor would say, ‘What’s this about? Why are you doing this to me?’ I’d reply, ‘I’m not doing this to you. We’re dealing with an artist who has a will of tungsten.’”

Coltrane self-released the songs on cassette, producing only a few hundred copies of each for ashram members: 1982’s Turiya Sings, 1987’s Divine Songs, 1990’s Infinite Chants, and 1995’s Glorious Chants. Turiya Sings—the finest among them, with appealingly distant strings, as if Coltrane were mystically levitating above her lo-fi arrangements—marked the first time she sang on tape (because, she said, God had asked her to). Made with the humble intentions of nourishing her community, Coltrane’s ashram music was naturally lost in time.

With the Luaka Bop label’s Ecstatic Music compilation, selections from the tapes are widely available at last. These sublime ensemble recordings reflect not just the result but the process of deep enlightenment. Coltrane, performing with ashram members, illuminates Hindu devotionals with meditative Indian instrumentation, a sparkling Oberheim OB-8 synthesizer, droning Wurlitzer lines, and full-bodied singing evoking the Detroit church choirs of her youth. This was one of the greatest composers of the 20th century bringing a completely unusual confluence of experience (classical training, Baptist church playing, jazz, improv) to prayer songs worshipping Krishna and Rama. With their widened musical scope, they feel more like prayers for humanity.

As Berkman wrote in Monument Eternal, “[Coltrane’s songs] are at once African American and South Asian. Their histories can be traced to religious revivals spanning India’s medieval period, as well as to cultural formations that coalesced in the New World among the descendants of African slaves.” Coltrane’s spiritual fusion music reflects the borderlessness that is manifest in her open religious philosophy of Universal Consciousness. It all made for sacred music that was as exacting as it was exalted. The songs are shaped with astonishing melodic nuance, precise rhythms, and irresistible harmonies, creating a new genre for her new consciousness. You might call it “ananda gospel.”

Hers is a voice that you want to believe could heal the entire world one person at a time. Its considerable power gets at the great consequence of this music. Coltrane sings over a dense cloud of sitar and drones on “Rama Rama” and over the majesty of her dazzling harp on “Er Ra.” Listening to “Om Shanti” is nothing less than an act of self-care. Once a deep cut from Divine Songs, it’s the anchor of this comp. Coltrane’s low, lucid voice—a mix of serenity and strength that is life-giving to behold—bursts as if pouring through clouds. According to the Vedas, “om” is the sound the universe made when it was created, and it continues on humming in our ever-expanding world today. Coltrane takes this primordial “om” and makes its reverberations feel visceral. This is music that will make you feel the air clarifying in your lungs, that will sweeten your breath.

Not unlike a meditation practice, the idea with chanting is to still the mind. You repeat lines of Sanskrit together to embody rhythms and create vibrations. Several tracks—“Om Rama,” “Rama Guru,” “Hari Narayan”—place Ecstatic Music into this collectivist context, performed by a large group, clapping and shaking bells, working into a forceful trance. Like any music deploying repetition to euphoric effect—hardcore, techno, minimalism, doom metal—chanting is transcendent and endless. The recordings here elucidate the magnetic pull of these utopian ashram environments; they are the opposite of the void. Even the nearly 11-minute “Journey in Satchidananda,” which bears little resemblance to Coltrane’s similarly-titled astral jazz masterpiece, contains a peculiar release despite its funereal atmosphere and operatic drama.

There is a man named Krishna Das who was once a member of the Blue Öyster Cult. Since the ’90s, he has been considered the greatest star of spiritual music like this in the West; in 2012, he was nominated for the Best New Age Album Grammy for Live Ananda, similarly recorded with seekers at an upstate New York ashram. That collection, while gripping and lovely, underscores what is so enrapturing about Coltrane’s. The Das album is a devout performance. Coltrane, however, is not reenacting the sacred. She is searching within and pushing a personal sacred out of herself, twisting it into new shapes with audacity, conviction, and grace. Refracting the music through the complexities of her past, Coltrane’s sacred songs contain the story of a woman who suffered and survived, who led avant-garde ensembles and towering epiphanies, whose curiosity never left her.

I wonder about the people on these recordings with Coltrane. What led them to the ashram? What were they seeking? How long had they been looking? In the course of a human life, the search is never-ending. But here, in one hour, is the sound of a woman’s realized higher purpose. Ecstatic Music is her corporeal joy, and clarifies what the rest of her catalog suggests: Alice Coltrane is religion. Once you’ve felt it, the ashram is in you.

[tasteculturepower]

Rachel Leiner

     Throughout my childhood, my mother did what she could to incorporate religion into our lives, however with an agnostic father and apathetic older brother, it never really caught on. Despite the lack of spirituality in my life, I do consider myself culturally Jewish. For many that I tell this to, I am received with a confused expression. “Judaism isn’t a nationality?” “But, what country does your family come from?” These questions bemuse my mind, as I look for the words to explain that my family’s culture is of Eastern-European fusion. Our family recipes, traditions, and practices do not come specifically from Turkey, Russia, Czechoslovakia, or Poland, but are customs that span an entire culture of people that have experienced a diaspora since ancient times. The cuisine I associate with my family traditions is that which we eat during the Jewish holidays each year.      Matzah brei– one of the first foods I remember eating. It was a special-occasion type of food that my family lives off of each Passover, a Jewish holiday when we don’t eat grains to honor the slaves led out of Egypt by Moses. While the matzah itself, unleavened bread that is a central component of a Passover meal, doesn’t excite my appetite, its transformation into a sugary, crunchy, and absolutely delicious mush brings me back to my childhood dining room table. I would sit impatiently with my siblings while my mom stood over the stove, mixing together eggs, the unleavened bread, and every type of sugar in the cabinet (sometimes that meant powdered sugar, granulated sugar, and brown sugar). As years went by, the aroma of the ingredients blending together is a sensation that never fails to excite me.

     When I was a kid, I remember going to Waldbaums, the local supermarket, with my mom. She’d wheel me around in one of those mini-car shopping carts, and I somehow always convinced her to let me buy strawberry flavored Pop-Tarts.  Over time, however, this experience gradually transformed into sitting with my mom beside her laptop, adding food items to a cart on a website called “Pea-Pod.” Traditional grocery shopping was no longer part of my family’s weekly routine, as my mom had decided to use a service to have the food sent directly to our doorstep. I was not a fan.      As someone who enjoys all things food, using a company to deliver groceries just doesn’t seem worth it to me. Rather than hand-picking perfectly crisp apples, we received bruised ones that had been knocked around in transit. Instead of finding a just-about-ripe avocado, I was stuck with green ones that wouldn’t be ready for a week or two.      My family’s use of Pea-Pod definitely made me yearn to stroll through the aisles of Stop & Shop to hand-pick my own groceries. Unlike my mom, I genuinely feel that grocery shopping is not something that should be oversimplified. For this reason, as soon as I passed my driver’s test junior year of high school, the first stop I made was the supermarket. I was ecstatic to finally be able to do my own grocery shopping. My mom often laughs at me for choosing to take the time to physically pick out my grocery list, but it is worth it to me.      Ever since I became a frequent customer of Stop & Shop, my love for cooking has grown immensely. Seeing the vast options at my fingertips, I have the urge to try new foods and recipes weekly. So, in a way, I can thank Pea-Pod for showing me what not-to-do, but in the same vein, I’m definitely disappointed in my family for opting to rely on it, choosing to forego what is such an exciting task to me.

     We are all products of the environment we are raised in; whether we decide to continue on whatever path that is, or defy it, is a personal choice. Growing up in New York, I was fortunate to be exposed to a myriad of different cuisines. That melting pot factor, combined with the mundane culinary experiences within my own home, has led me to become the overtly adventurous eater that I am today.      Throughout the last few years, I was fortunate to have had opportunities to expose myself to a multitude of cultural foods. However, one story comes to mind that epitomizes my newly established curiosity-driven mindset. Over the summer I spent a week and a half road-tripping through the Australian Outback –  a place where one of the oldest known indigenous cultures still exists. The Aboriginal culture, though strongly impacted by external pressures of modern Australia, maintains traditions that are deeply rooted in the history of the tribes. While in Alice Springs, my travel companions and I decided to visit an Aboriginal settlement, where we were taught by a middle-aged couple, Miro and Merindah, all about the culinary traditions of the specific tribe.      As a traveler, I am always enticed to truly diverge myself in the people’s lifestyle as much as possible– to try to truly understand what its like to be in others’ shoes. There was no better way to do so while on this tour than to eat a witchetty grub: a large, white, wood-eating larvae that plays a key role in the diet of Aboriginal Australians. There are various ways that these insects can be prepared, however Miro’s favorite is completely raw. No preparations. To show us how to eat his go-to snack, Miro took out a river red gum root. He then used a special technique to break it in half, exposing three squirming larvae living inside the plant’s hollow center. After watching Miro pop one into his mouth, followed by a grin of delight, I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Living in the suburbs of Long Island, I’d never seen anything like this before, but it was not the time to chicken out.      I picked up one of the grubs from the bark, and, as Miro displayed, held it by its head, and bit the body off. If you had asked me to do this five years ago, my ignorant-self would’ve respectfully declined. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize the importance of exposing myself to any and all culinary experiences– no matter how foreign they may seem to me.