#but then took that experience in different directions

[elwenyere]

AO3 Wrapped

Even though 2024 was my worst year for fic-writing by almost any numerical metric, it was also a year when I wrote some of the pieces I'm most proud of, including stories and ships that the me of several years ago would never have thought were in her wheelhouse.

In order of composition, here are five fics I wrote for five different fandoms that helped me discover something I loved.

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Separation (Top Gun, Icemav, 7k, M)

This fic started with me asking what it would look like to write a Top Gun story that leaned into the context of the Reagan 80s and the AIDS crisis rather than bracketing it. It was very different from anything else I'd written, and I quite feel attached to the version of Ice that emerged in this world.

Rope's End (Star Wars, Codywan, 17.8k, E)

a.k.a. the Pirate AU. When I conceived of this WIP, I thought it was going to be a fun, self-indulgent romp to write, and while I did certainly indulge myself, the fic also grew in many directions I hadn't anticipated. I'm very happy with the Cody and Fett family layers it developed.

More Like Misery (TOG, pre Booker/Andy/Quyhn, 1.4k, M)

I love this sad little character study, which was born when I started thinking about Booker and Quyhn dreaming about each other for hundreds of years while she died. Writing it helped me indulge a very particular craving, for which I hope the sequel will offer even more tasty food.

Hypnagogia (Inception, Arthur/Eames, 15.9k, E)

I had such a good time writing this: probably the most unhinged (positive) I've felt while writing this whole goddamn year (derogatory). It started as a note that said "Arthur x Eames sleep paralysis demon?!?" and ended up being a story about what self-concept means to a forger and what happens when they lose it.

However Stern and Iron (MCU, Stony, 19.7k, T)

[movie trailer announcer voice] The fic that took me three whole years to write... I'm hugely relieved I finally found the focus to put in the groundwork for this story: a Victorian AU that led me in unexpected directions and relied on what felt like a fairly risky experiment in style. It was a slow, challenging process, but I'm happy with the result.

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Thank you to everyone who shared the joys and struggles of creating with me this year: I appreciate you all very deeply, and I wish you the best energy possible for 2025. <3<3<3

[marilynthornhilllover]

An Important announcement ⭐️

So as some of you may know, though I’m not quite sure if I’ve said this before but before I was a writer on here I was an editor (still do sometimes). And I found out about tumblr from a friend @slut4milfsss who’s not active anymore :(. Basically she used her work piece for the intro in one of her edit and I was like “ I need to know where I can read that” and she directed me over here. And honestly at first I had absolutely no business or urge to write fics…. Until there were barely any Marilyn thornhill fanfics on here at the time, hence the reason for my username so I began writing my own fics and over time I eventually started writing on different characters/fandoms.

I’ve loved writing since I was in elementary school but my love really grew in high school, and I loved literature and I had that fattest crush on my professor Ms. Lane who’s now Mrs. Cambridge ( don’t worry guys she knows and she’s honestly fine with my little story lmao). Growing up with parents who had money wasn’t always the nicest experience, most of the time I used writing as a coping mechanism with my depression and anxiety.

Graduating high school a bit early,and then before going to college I took a gap year to really decide what I wanted to do with my life and I decided whole heartedly on psychology! But anyway cut the long story short, I’ve had this app for 2 1/2 years which is crazy because it feels like yesterday when my writing started getting recognition. I’m honestly so proud of the work I did and the friends and amazingly talented and supportive writer buddies I’ve come across but unfortunately I’m not 18, 21 and 23 anymore next year (2025) I’m gonna be 25….😭😔. Time flew so much! I literally remember my high school days, college days and university days as well as my gap year in London so well.

I’m a clinical psychologist and in June I did my final course exams and I’m now officially an badge clinical psychologist with my own office in NYC and let’s just say I love my job it has a deeper meaning behind it and waking up everyday and getting the privilege to meet and therapy patients struggling with their MH and working along side some of the best doctors has always been my dream. Recently I’ve started another short course work in neuroscience and it’s so intriguing. Trust me wasting your 20’s away in degrees is not boring it’s worth it.

With that being said. This year wasn’t the best or easiest year for me. Don’t even get me started on 2023.I’ve got a lot of good things going for me right now, new friends, for the summer I traveled to L.A, I went to one the the VP’s rally where I got a picture with her, new experiences and most of all I think I may have met the love of my life! <3. And now going into 2025 I need space and a little breather. I wanna do some new stuff, I wanna travel and I wanna be happy with friends and family and work on some personal relationships and most importantly myself.

With that being said I will be taking a break from tumblr and taking a step back from this account and writing in general . I don’t know when I’ll be back or if I’ll ever be be back (that’s not decisive as yet for now I promise it’s just a break) I’ve taken breaks before, especially before my CPB exams and some random anon people decided to bash me in my own anon box as if I don’t have a life of my own….. but anywaysss I know I have a bunch of requests in my inbox which I will try to get through while I’m away along with CHP 10 the finale of my lady d series. I do love writing for you guys and this app has been my safe place and just a place of peace, smiles, experiences and growth, and I don’t know why I feel like I’m out growing my jacket. But I do want to focus on certain areas in my life now before I make decisions I don’t want to. I’ll always come back and reblog and share my love and support once in a while so don’t worry.

So To all my favorite writers @regalbootie @daydream-cement @prettygreenpills @littledollll @cissyenthusiast010155 @v3nusxsky @d4rkhold @wifeofnatasharomanoff @milfsloverblog @brienneoftarth1989 @willalovexx @daddy-heather-dunbar @togrowoldinv @kararomanoff @harksness @weemssapphic @storiesofsvu2-0 @schemmentigfs @ottiliaxwritten @ilovehugslikealotalot @m1lfsh4ke @gamma-rae-bursts , more in numbers than I can ever tag ( sorry if I didn’t tag you! I literally can’t remember the rest) , sorry for the random tag as well guys 😭☹️ but I do wanna say a small heart felt thank you, not only for being the most generous, genuine, kind, supportive, authentic, optimistically talented writers I’ve ever encountered but for just doing what you do, being a writer can be so hard and it takes endless courage but you guys manage to come through regardless. I remember reading some of you guys work and was in constant awe, most of my motivation and will power to write and be inspired came from you guys. And to my mutuals…. @willalovexx @luisa323 @milkiedimitrescu @m1lfsh4ke @gamma-rae-bursts @mymiraclewitch @kmaxmadness (and again sorry if I forgot anyone) Words cannot describe how much I love you guys. My love pours out beyond words, I will always cherish the continuous amount of love, generosity and support you all have given me. Especially the love you showed to me in times of anon hate and towards my fanfics. I truly did enjoy my time on this app all the fun times 😂 and most definitely the comments. I’ve made so many friends on here like Heidi who deactivated her account sadly but we are still so close and talk everyday on instagram.

I forbid any tears from this post!😤 but I really do love you guys and I will always think of each and everyone of you. And I wish nothing but the best for all you!🤍🌸. Remember to stay true to yourselves, go out with friends, fall in love, do silly things, give yourself a reason, do what makes you happy! Always…. And please do take breaks. Don’t write your life away when there’s so many amazing opportunities, experiences and people waiting. The world is waiting, the life than you want is waiting. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, wishing everyone a very heart felt holidays and happy new year!🎆🎊

— sincerely, your best friend.

[llively-12]

Lost in your moves

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Hirai Momo x female reader

Warnings: Self doubt, mentions of Jihyo, Nayeon, and Sana, mentions of alcohol and partying.

Story: You meet momo during the preparations for sixteen. The Japanese dancer steals your attention right away.

Authors note: This is my first story. I honestly think I went through the five stages of grief while writing this. It took so long to write the story, and I was very hesitant with everything I wrote, but I think that I'm happy with the end product now. English is not my first language, so if there are any mistakes, I apologise profusely. I hope you enjoy reading it♥︎

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The sounds of bedsheets ruslting and the warm feeling of the sun wake you from your sleep. Your dream is long gone and already forgotten as you stretch your limbs, earning a few pops.

This is your third day in South Korea, and also your third day at the JYP company. Even though Korea is an amazing new experience, you're still doubting your decision to move here.

The company noticed you through simple videos that you posted on social media. Your passion and talent in dancing gave you a fair amount of media attention. But you never thought that such a big company would want you as a trainee.

Your parents were doubtful. No normal parents just sent their child off to practice at a company far away from home. You had to do a lot of chores and improve your grades to convince them. After all, they just wanted to look out for you. You knew that this could be your big chance as an idol, or just another waste of time as your grandparents said.

You were glad that they wouldn't be hearing from your escort to the company, as you begged your parents to keep this secret. It was something you wanted to experience on your own, without any negative disturbance. You didn't need the worried glances or the scepticism.

Your feet meet the cold ground, and small goosebumps rush over your body as you get up from the bed, the blanket falling from your waist and onto the mattress. The room is small. Two beds, a small bathroom, a table, two closets, and a window. The door connects to the hallway. Other trainees settled in around the same times as you did. Though you haven't spoken to them yet.

You were focused on unpacking and getting to know your new home. Meeting new people was always a rough path for you. Awkward talks were your daily occurrence, and you still needed to figure out how to act here. Were you one of the shy ones? The cool dancers? The super sick vocalists?

Questions that plaqued your mind from day one. You heard that you'd be getting a roommate. But she hasn't arrived yet. You hope it's someone cool, as your feet drag over to the bathroom.

♧

The sound of shoes squeaking against floorboards echoes the practice room walls. The mirror wall is slightly fogged up. Sweat rolls of your forehead as you try to keep up with the song playing through the boxes.

The feeling of your sweaty shirt sticking against your skin fills your mind. Your moves get sloppier, and your feet rush to new positions. The song stops abruptly. You freeze, your head moving until your eyes meet another pair.

"Your movements are sloppy, and you're too slow. Try keeping up with the tempo." The dance teacher is strict, direct, and mean. Nothing you ever experienced within dancing classes.

Your dance skills are based on passion, binding experiences, and mostly trust. Back in your hometown, dancing is something people do for fun. Nobody looks for the small mistakes. It matters that the people are having fun.

Here, it's different. You can't even remember a moment when you wanted to quit dancing this bad as you are right now. The dance teacher waits for you to start over. She raises an eyebrow.

A red hue tints your cheeks as you quickly move into the starting position. The song plays from the top, but it's not long until it stops again.

The same critique. The same look. The same annoyed and bothered tone in her voice as she 'corrects' your form. Frustrations build up within you. You huff and get back into your starting position. The day goes on with sharp critique, suppressed anger, and hidden tears, rolling from your face anytime she wouldn’t look.

The way back to your room is filled with silence. You’ve never been this devastated after any dance practice. Your self-doubt keeps growing with every day you stay at this company. Why would they court you if you’re apparently this bad?

It doesn't make any sense. Metaphoric dark clouds wrap around your head, your mind too caught up in the rage, and the worry that you don't notice almost running into someone. Only the slamming of her shoulder against yours pulls you out of your tunnel thoughts.

Her hair is dark, almost flowing in the air with the speed that she's walking. You don't notice her face or her outfit, but she leaves an impression. You stumble, and your body tilts to the side.

A puff leaves your lips as you shake your head and keep going.

♧

You haven't entered your room since practice this morning, so the new suitcase and the bag surprise you. Had someone entered your room? Did your roommate arrive? Who is she, and why isn't she here?

You avoid bumping into her stuff and head for the bathroom. The warm shower soothes your tense muscles and takes your mind off of the problems you faced during practice. The air takes over the smell of your shampoo, and it almost feels like you're home again, back with your family.

A smile adorns your face, the thought of your family bringing you joy. You step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around your body while still blissfully thinking about good memories.

Nothing could ruin your mood. Not even the girl that now sits on the other bed opposite from yours, staring at you.

Wait.

You freeze in your tracks and look at the girl. A scream leaves your mouth as you hide behind the bathroom door, peeking out to stare into the bedroom.

The girl looks equally as shocked. Her eyes wide open. She lets out a squeal and covers her eyes.

"Who are you?" You ask the girl with slight panic.

But she doesn't answer. Her hand moves around on the bed to find something. She is still holding her eyes closed with the other one.

Multitasking is not her strong suit as she knocks something of the bed. You quickly rush into the room and throw on some clothes, not bothering which one you picked.

"It's fine, it's fine. I'm dressed. You can open your eyes now."

But she doesn't. She's sitting there, biting her lip anxiously. It does look a bit stupid, but you also wouldn't react any other way.

You take small steps to approach her. Your hand slowly lifts up and meets hers. You take her hand off of her eyes and smile slightly. It's an awkward smile, but the best you can offer for now.

Her wide dark eyes meet yours. She honestly looks like a racoon. She offers you a shy smile back.

Both of you don't know how to respond. The evening ends with you going to bed early. She hasn't spoken a single word the whole time since she arrived here. It's odd, but you're not better if you think about it.

♧

Why is she so much better than you?

That's the only question that has been running through your mind since you've watched her dance.

Her name is Hirai Momo. She is about the same age as you, and she is from Japan, which explains why she's not that talkative. Her korean is basically none existent.

Momo has been a dancer since she was three years old. She was also spotted by the JYP company. You’ve heard these rumours during lunch.

The way her body hits the moves better than yours ever will makes you almost storm out of the practice room. But you don't want to act like a toddler. Your dance teacher is already annoyed with you. An incident like this could get you eliminated.

You have never experienced it, but the stories almost fly through the company halls. Trainees that were sent home because of their "bad" performances.

There's also been rumours about mistreatment towards trainees. All of this makes your stomach churn.

Her shoes don't squeak when they move over the floor. They stomp in confidence. Her arms don't flail around like yours between position changes. They sit tight or have a different pose to hit.

It's almost like she's been here before. Danced this routine before you did. Why is she so good?

Jealousy boils inside you like it's never done before. You have never been a jealous person, never wished for someone to make a mistake or do something wrong, but this, this was different.

Everything that had been pushing you down the past week kept getting heavier. It's like you're about to crumble under the weight. Your legs feel like jelly even though you're sitting. Your arms feel like they are burning from over exhaustion even though you're resting them.

It's like an endless spiral, pulling you down a long path of confusing emotions and rash thoughts. Your fists clench, and your feet push into the ground.

The music fades away, and the song is over. You have never made it this far in any dance routine. The trainer always stopped you before you had even gotten the chance to approach the end of the song.

It's frustrating, and it's making you tired, and mad.

Your eyes squint a faint little bit as they meet hers across the room. You try to seem nonchalant, but you're not. You're literally about to explode with pent-up frustration.

Her eyes soften a bit. It almost looks like she's pitying you. You don't need her to worry. You don't need her at all. You want her gone. Out of this room, out of this company.

"Y/N?"

The trainer looks at you. Your body moves up and gets into position.

Every dance move is shaky, uneven, almost incorrect. You have never been this bad.

The trainer stops the song with a sigh. Her eyes eat you up like a lioness. The sheer panic that runs through your vains as soon as her gaze meets yours is indescribable. Like you're about to suffer from a panic attack.

"Maybe you should train with Momo. She could teach you a lot."

Those words shatter you. You want to cry, to run away. This was not how you imagined your career to be going.

Sure, there would be rough paths, but this was just pulling at your ego, pulling at your self-esteem.

We're you really that bad?

♧

The atmosphere in your room is tense. Momo had been sitting on her bed, varying between staring at the wall or her phone. She was still very quiet.

You, on the other hand, were trying to get some sleep. All of this stress has been eating you up.

Your blanket is fluffed up, and some plushies are sharing your warmth. The sound of soft breaths and occasional sounds from the hallway fill the air. Your eyes had been stealing some glances at Momo, gauching at what she was doing.

You would be lying if you said you weren't a tad bit interested in her. She caught your attention after the last few dance practices.

Her hair is silky black, and her eyes are a very dark brown, almost black. The way they ghost over her phone screen and focus on different words is almost enthralling. Sometimes, she licks her lips if they are dry.

You don't notice her also looking at you until she clears her throat. It's a very awkward croak sound. It sounds like she's having a voice crack.

She glances at you, her cheeks lightly pink from embarrassment. Your cheeks match hers quickly. You quickly turn to the wall and pull your blanket higher up, so it's covering your ear.

You just hope she doesn't think that your behaviour is weird.

♧

It's still dark outside as your alarm wakes you from your peaceful slumber. You haven't had this much of a rest in days. You put out the alarm and get up a bit quicker than usual. There is dedication pinned in your mind. The dedication to get better.

Momo's arrival had only shown you how much more you needed to improve. This wasn't a place where you danced for fun. This is a competition, and if you don't keep up, you're out.

Momo has also gotten up. She is in the bathroom, doing her hair. You get next to her and brush your teeth. The silence is awkward. She smiles at you, and you smile back.

You don't even know if Momo is annoying or just a bit clumsy. You can't really stay mad at her for long, either. It's like she's an exception to every condition in your head. Like your mind just makes up excuses to like her, even though you don't want to.

She's got this special something that you just can't explain. The way her body moves when she dances. The way her eyes focus while she learns korean. And the way she looks at you.

At first, you hated the way she looked at you. Now it's like you need her to look at you, to notice you, and your dedication to meet her standards. You feel like some crazy fan who tries to impress their idol, and in some ways you were.

During the days that Momo got here, she befriended another Japanese girl, Sana. They always chat during lunchtime or hang out after practice. I guess it's just a relief that someone here speaks the same language that she does. You sometimes wish there were also people from your hometown. Just someone who knows how you feel.

♧

Jihyo nudges you while you're staring at your phone. She's been your only friend since training started. Her warm and open personality makes you feel welcome. She was also the one that initiated this friendship.

Jihyo is one of the top trainees. Amazing voice, a powerful dance, and the perfect stage presence. Everything an idol needed. You're still wondering why she befriended you, though.

It's not like you're the most entertaining, or funny, or interesting. You're just there most of the time, just hanging around and not bothering the trainees around you.

It’s like Jihyo is mostly hanging out with you out of pity. She never made her intentions clear or showed her ulterior motives with you.

„Isn’t Momo your roommate?“ Jihyo broke through your thoughts. She always made you come back to earth when you were high up, somewhere between spacing out and almost falling asleep.

You nod and focus your gaze on Momo. She’s talking with Sana, sometimes laughing at a joke the other Japanese girl made.

jihyo notices your gaze. Her smirk widens. She nudges you again.

„Are you into her?“

„What? No…“ Your head snaps to jihyo, but after a tiny amount of consideration you turn your head back to Momo. Well she is beautiful, and talented, and funny, and-

„Stop daydreaming and ask her out.“ Jihyo interrupts you again.

„You know I can’t. The company is strict with dating. Let alone with queer couples.“

Jihyo quietens down. She knows about Koreas problem with queer couples and the social views. She herself has experienced it. The way people look at you, when they suspicion something.

Jihyo had told you a few days ago that she had a situationship with Sana. It's funny how both you had fallen for the Japanese girls. Jihyo mentioned that they made out after a party. Sneaking out at night and partying was something most of the trainees did. You, on the other hand, were an exception, being too busy and focused on training and improving to party.

“I know how it is. Maybe you should let loose sometimes and come with me. The club is not far from here, and it’s hidden from the company. Nobody cares if you make out with a girl. At least not there.“

„I don’t know, ji, but maybe I want more than just making out. I’m confused.“

„I’ve seen Momo at the club. And she is not confused when it comes to making out with other girls-

"Shut up, jihyo."

Both of you stay silent.

"You should really go for it, though. Imagine the regret you'll feel when things don't go the way you planned. Then you wasted an opportunity."

Later that night, jihyos words still linger in your mind. Maybe you should hop onto the opportunity. As your body slowly drifts to sleep, you think of Momo and how you could ask her out.

♧

Jihyo throws some clothes at you. It had been a week since she ‚dared‘ you to ask Momo out. Only now you realised your potential. Jihyo immediately arranged a sneak out to the club. She had many contacts around the trainees. One other trainee, Nayeon, mostly arranged club nights and searched for different clubs to attend.

Well, you don't exactly have any clothes that match a party night, so Jihyo decided to help you out. She had been out and about at the club for a few solid times, so you trusted her. She's going with Sana tonight. The Japanese girl would meet her later that evening.

The more you think about tonight, the bigger your concern grows. What if Momo doesn't show up to the club? Or worse, what if she thinks you're a total loser and won't accept your confession?

"Try this on." Jihyo throws some dress at you. It's short and body tight.

You put it on and awkwardly glance at Jihyo. The older girl whistles and winks at you.

"Don't worry. You look hot."

"Thanks..."

"Come on. Get your spirits up. I'll bet she will like you."

"I hope she will..."

♧

Loud music drums through the club. The smell of sweat and alcohol dominates the air as many people are moving their bodies on the dancefloor.

You stand at the wall, observing every face, every emotion that you can find. It's not like you don't want to dance or drink. It's just that you can't really grasp the energy of this club. The vibes are not really getting to you.

Jihyo had been long gone ever since she saw Sana. 'She is so lucky,' you think to yourself as you take another small sip from your glass.

The taste lingers on your tongue as the liquid burns down your throat. You haven't had any alcohol in this long, and even the thought of drinking makes you quite dizzy. Not to mention that you didn't eat anything beforehand, so now the alcohol has a strong effect on you.

It's only then that you spot her face across the room. She is dancing. Why shouldn't she? Her moves are amazing, and your eyes linger on her while you take another sip.

She doesn't notice you immediately, but when she does, it's like her whole mood changed.

Suddenly, you're too shy about this. The music, the smell, the people. It's all too much. You flee towards the bar and order another drink while gulping your recent one down.

The bartender eyes you with suspicion, but he doesn't question your intent and pours you another drink.

From there on, only blurred memories enter your mind. Slurred words leave your mouth, and drunk movements make mistakes.

♧

The headache almost kills you. Your eyes are faintly opened while you try to locate where you've stranded. Jihyo shakes her head as she notices your state. Next to her is Sana. She giggles a bit and then goes back to learning Korean. The sound of her pencil scribbling something down is the only sound for a while.

Jihyo almost glares at you.

"Are you out of your mind? We had to carry you back here. Is that your definition of 'partying' and 'asking someone out'?"

She is mad, and you know it. Her eyes almost glowed red from anger.

"Sorry..."

You could voice act as a frog right now, all croaky and raspy.

You don't remember anything from last night. The blurred thoughts keep your actions hidden from your mind.

"Momo enjoyed it, though. I don't know what she sees in you."

What? Momo enjoyed what?

"Can you guys give me the details of what happened last night?"

"You were all over Momo. Not in that way, but you were talking her ear off. Something about her dancing? I don't know."

Jihyo muses and helps Sana with her korean homework.

"So nothing embarrassing happened?"

"Not that I remember."

Your head falls back into the pillow. How could you be this embarrassing? You just hope Momo is not freaked out by your behaviour yet.

♧

Momo is mostly found in the dancing room. Today seems to be no exception, as you see her getting ready for another dance practice.

After making yourself known, you talk with her for a while. Or at least you try to.

Her korean is still a bit broken, but you're both trying your best to communicate and make out each other's sentences.

You apologise for your behaviour and invite her to hang out at a local restaurant.

She agrees and seems to be very happy about the invitation.

The rest of the day is filled with laughter and getting to know each other. It's almost healing as you two haven't had a nice conversation in weeks, both too shy to strike up a conversation with the other person.

Now it's almost like you've known her for weeks. She is still a bit reserved, but it's not that bad like it was when you guys first talked.

♧

The atmosphere of the restaurant is nice. Warm lights fill up the place and give it a cosy vibe. The smell of fresh Asian food fills your nostrils and engraves in your mind. You slurp up some noodles and smile at Momo, who is sitting in front of you.

She is focused on her food and rarely glances up at you. You smile to yourself. It's endearing to see her love for food.

"How are you?"

You break through the silence and the sound of dishes clattering. Momo looks up.

"Fine. You?"

"I'm good as well, thanks."

Momo smiles and does little thumbs up. The evening is filled with little conversations and a bit of flirting.

You learn about her hometown and her past. It's nice to hear her talk about things she adores. On the other hand, you try to tell her about your past.

You compliment her on her dancing skills, and she smiles.

It's a bit awkward, but enough for two teenagers that try to have something romantic. Jihyo will definitely laugh at you.

After you finish dinner, Momo and you take a walk around the streets.

You both end up at a park near the company. The air is nice and crisp, wind blows through your hair, and pushes small strands into your face. You both sit down on a bench and watch the night sky.

Tomorrow would be another day at the company, filled with practising and exhaustion, but neither you nor Momo seem to care. It's like the night slows down the time.

Trees in the distance rustle, and leaves fall from the small branches into the grass. Autumn is on its way. You zip up your jacket and glance at Momo.

She is already looking at you. Her eyes rake over your face, and she analyzes the different features. You would give millions to hear her thoughts right now.

But, that's not necessary. Her hand meets your cheek. It's warm and comforting. Her thumb slowly rubbed over your bottom lip. Your mouth parts slightly to catch a breath, and before you know it, she's kissing you.

It's more of a peak, but that does not matter right now. Her lips are slightly chapped due to the cold weather. Your hand finds hers and slowly interwines your fingers.

A few more pecks are shared, and as the air gets colder, the sky grows darker. The only thing that's important is you and her.

Nothing matters. Just her kissing you. You don't know if this thing would last. You just hope it will.

♡

[waitineedaname]

i find wei wuxian, jin guangyao, and xue yang really interesting as foils of each other for a lot of reasons, but a big one to me is the ways they relate to gentry society

jin guangyao is extremely aware of his vulnerable position with relation to the gentry, and he's very conscious of the hypocrisy involved in the classism he experiences. still, he tries to operate within those constraints to rise in status within the gentry -- and he eventually succeeds! he becomes chief cultivator and head of the wealthiest clan around! but he never stops being hyperaware that everything could be taken away from him in an instant, a fear that is eventually proven to be justified

xue yang reacts in the exact opposite way. instead of the constructive way jgy operates to climb the social ladder, he's purely destructive. he was abused by a member of the gentry, so he'll destroy a whole clan in revenge. he saw the injustice of how he was treated because he was poor, and he decided to burn it all to the ground in revenge

so if jgy is working within gentry society, and xue yang is working against it, wei wuxian is a third option -- completely separating himself from it. sure, he had the benefit of being adopted by a gentry clan, but we saw how well that worked out for him in the long run, and he was never allowed to forget his origins. like the other two, he's very aware of the hypocrisy of the gentry and is a direct victim of it, but instead of playing by their rules or burning it to the ground, he just. fucks off. if he'd been left alone, he could've probably stayed in the burial mounds indefinitely. he wouldn't have been happy, but that's more about missing his family than missing his status. and at the end, he has married into a gentry clan again and is begrudgingly accepted by gentry society, but he's more aware than anyone how conditional that acceptance is. his fondness for rogue cultivators and his cottagecore fantasies show that he's not really concerned with class and status, he just wants to be free and happy with the people he loves, separate from the concerns of high society

[not-so-superheroine]

Jesus is my older brother, not my dad.

other christians don't seem to feel the same?

am i missing something where he insists on such a thing except perhaps with actual little children?

[shmowder]

In case you missed it, Game Rant did an interview with Nikolay Dybowski about Pathologic 3. Here is the link for it.

And here are the bits that stood out the most to me:

Q: The non-linearity of time and how it will be related to the nature of the Town are also core story components. How did this affect design and direction?

A: Connecting non-linear time with a long, narrative-heavy story that involves many characters and cause-and-effect chains would be extremely difficult. We focused on what the player feels in the moment rather than on gathering information in the right order. The latter approach works well in shorter formats like Her Story or 12 Minutes, but in Pathologic, it would be overwhelming.

We wanted players to feel like “everything, everywhere, all at once”—similar to Billy Pilgrim in Slaughterhouse-Five. Different versions of reality coexist simultaneously, creating a “quantum” feeling for the player. Look at the time travel mechanic as an opportunity to correct mistakes, or even to make deliberate mistakes in order to unlock new paths and ideas. It is like a "sanctioned save scum."

-

Q: Conversely, how will it (Pathologic 3) connect to and consider the events and characters in Pathologic 2?

A: Consider it as two subjective retellings of the same events. This is the same Town, the same twelve days, the same participants and events that occurred in the Haruspex’s story. But this is a different perspective. Like two witnesses recounting the same event in Rashomon, the stories vary greatly, each focusing on different details. Finally, we always give our heroes the right to make honest mistakes, forget, and even lie. Every narrator is an unreliable narrator.

-

Q: How did Pathologic’s previous philosophical explorations help inform or play into the narrative and themes here?

A: Everything we now see as true and valuable, we’ve kept. Everything we’ve outgrown, like childhood clothes, we either reimagined and reinterpreted to give these ideas new meaning, or let go of them. After all, we’ve grown a lot (hopefully, along with the industry). When I first conceived Pathologic, I was 21 and completely alone. Now I’m 47, surrounded by incredibly talented people who enrich this universe as much as I do, and that makes a difference.

We’ve kept the idea of the tragedy of utopian projects. We kept the idea that the plague is a voice of the natural order—one that the thinking human mind cannot accept—and that it has its own truth. We retained the belief that evil cannot be defeated with its own tools or outplayed on its field; yet it can be defeated realistically in a different, orthogonal way. In another dimension.

-

Q: It’s mentioned that the Bachelor is searching for an immortal man in Pathologic 3. Can you say if this is in reference to Mark Immortell?

A: No, there’s no connection between Simon Kain (one of the town’s rulers) and Mark Immortell (the director of the town theater). Mark is a clown. He awkwardly mimics Simon, parodying him, which is why he takes on this pseudonym. He's fully aware that he’s a jester, and the gesture itself is ironic.

-

Q: What do you hope players will take away most from Pathologic 3?

A: The hope that humanity remains a promising and capable species.

-

Also, new game pictures and screenshots dropped:

(some are old ones I forgot to post)

[jamiethebee]

(In which I spiral down a rabbit hole with Midoriya that has little to do with @codenamesazanka 's original post that started this (x).  FYI I sorta separated Deku/Izuku to indicate Deku as the hero and Izuku as the person outside of heroics.)

I started thinking about this post again (see the link above) and how Deku doesn’t really understand that non-perfect or sanitized victims exist AND still need to be saved and not by destruction. (The "maybe killing someone does save them" thing is a great way to assuage guilt but it's a stupid copout.)  Deku (hero) and more importantly Izuku (person) doesn’t really understand that though because he WAS a “perfect” victim.  Midoriya stayed quiet and inconspicuous and didn’t make a fuss about the bullying or discrimination he faced, he just kept his head down and hoped that something would change without any real effort on his part.  And if he had died as a result from the bullying he would’ve been hailed as an unfortunate victim (of who? or what? Don’t worry - isn’t his death so tragic? oh well now on to our next news story -), so any critique of society and the individuals who reinforce the status quo don’t actually have to do anything.  I know there’s more nuance here and lot of cultural things happening with this all but I’m not gonna dig into that right now.

Moving on!  Quite frankly the boy didn’t live long enough to get out of his childish mindset and get some “righteous" anger at the wrongdoings and failings of society.  All Might came along when he was still starry eyed and hopeful to lift Midoriya out of the trajectory of his life and Izuku never had any time to get to the point where he comes to terms with the hurt caused society’s rejection of his self and get angry about it.  As such, he can’t understand the league.  It probably doesn’t even occur to him that he's missing that understanding because for him it worked out - he got the attention and support to be able to escape the circumstances of his birth/quirklessness and to leave the box (deku) that society shoved him in. Twice and Toga never had that support – they both lived how they needed to in order to survive in a world not meant for them until they broke down.  (Maybe that's why Vigilante Deku AUs were so popular back in the day - they speedran Midoriya past the hopeful kid stage and to a point where a lot of the fanbase was in their own lives - seeing the issues in the world and wanting to affect change.)

Izuku, for all that he claims to want to connect to the villains, hasn’t given enough thought or empathy to understand how continuing to live a life where you don’t fit in with society can be deeply hurtful as well as the emotional repercussions of having unchangeable parts about yourself be reviled.  This isn’t to say Izuku had it easy -  of course Izuku went through hardships but.... there’s a big difference between living through stuff as a kid and finding a way out of it vs living through that, growing up, maturing, and in turn looking critically at society.  But I can’t bring myself to fault Midoriya for those exact reasons because he's just a kid. He doesn’t have the perspective to see outside of himself – at least not for the villains.  Because that seems to be too far of a stretch for him?  But Todoroki was close enough to Izuku’s mindset for him to help back in the sports festival arc.  I also acknowledge that he's a teenager and IS capable of critical thinking, but from what we've seen, his schools have never actually made the students examine the world they live in - which is a different skill from quirk analysis or historical or literary analysis or the various writing exercises that students go through. 

(Believe me – you can have the brightest kid but, most of the time, unless you point out the shortcomings of their mindsets, it won’t occur to them to look further.  (Not necessarily assuming that they’re wrong, but rather that their consideration of life is not as expansive as it should be. Especially for a kid wanting to be the greatest hero and save everyone.)  For example: many abled bodied people don’t realize how inaccessible places can be until someone brings it up to them or they find themselves in that situation (like a temporary crutch or wheelchair).  It’s through no fault of the able bodied person that they weren’t aware enough to consider it in the first place, but what they do once they realize physical accessibility is an issue, is on them.)  Back to the point – hero society never calls attention to it’s own shortcomings despite the proof quite obviously existing and the people within society don’t seem to spare much thought either. The adults who have seen more of these instances are then of course more culpable in this than the kids who haven't.

So, Midoriya was also failed by society (cough all might cough) as well, but he chose the hero path - to save people. We see him starting to consider the deeper issues in his talk with Uraraka, and the few times he “tries” to talk to various villains shows that he is aware enough of underlying issues - which makes it his duty as a hero to do something about it.  In that way, he is at fault. He chose a profession to devote his life to that should require this of him.  And through his hero work, Midoriya has seen the problems in society and yet he’s chosen to turn away from them (and by problems/them I’m referring to the villains “too far gone to save” and the issues they represent). 

(Sorry Midoriya, but considering we’re nearing the end and you haven’t shown any growth in this area….. I am faulting you for metaphorically pushing your head in the sand.  I do want to be wrong though.  I really want the kid to prove me wrong.)

And he’s able to turn away from them guilt free, in part, because he’s gotten the proverbial thumbs up by his classmates that it’s ok and that they’ll just be better and be model minority heroes and that will fix the problem! Because they’re positive representation!  Or something?  If you can put your mind to it that will fix things! Just try harder! Again, very idealistic but they are kids, so it comes with the territory.  (Horikoshi didn’t have to make them unquestionably right in that approach though.  Toga and Uraraka coming together for the win! The Shoji and Spinner match up not so much.)

Overall, there’s something about how Deku still fit into society's boxes in an acceptable way and never truly faced what existing outside of "acceptability" was like.  Don’t get me wrong it’s tough to live in the mha world as a quirkless person and of course it has its problems and restrictions, but that’s still a box that society provides for, even if the society in question doesn’t like it. 

And I'm not saying that Izuku had to live through a terrible life to understand the villains!  Just that, he has the capacity to look outside himself and be empathetic, but the application of it is lacking, despite knowing there’s problems, despite having LIVED with some of those problems. Extrapolate, boy!!!! You don't need empathy to reach out to others but the whole compassionate/kind Midoriya thing has been touted since the beginning! So I want to see it!

(Not sure how much sense this will make to people, but there’s a maturity that comes about with either time or certain circumstances that can be hard to grasp unless you’ve lived through it.  And quite frankly, Midoriya hasn’t. He went from a perfect/acceptable victim to the top tier of society (heroes).)

(Basically: Midoriya never **matured in the restrictive environment he grew up in and can't emotionally connect with the league who did, because of that. Instead he seems to have internalized the "if they were better" or "if they were truly good" then there wouldn't be a problem because just look at his classmater!, so villains being villains is their own fault and no one else is culpable.)

**centers on the idea that someone starts off as hopeful in regards to their discriminated position in life and over time matures to understand how society supports that discrimination and come to terms with the hurt that it's caused them personally (and in this case to fight back against it)

also, if you made it this far, i'm just having a fun time reading codenamesazanka's posts about the latest chapters

[maxgicalgirl]

Archive 81 tv show made Melody Pendras straight we cannot trust podcasts in the hands of mainstream media !!!!!!!

[goldentigerfestival]

I love the vocal nuance in this exchange, but also posting this for my differences posts because this is one of the changes that infuriates me the most. Yuri didn't threaten Ioder, did not threaten him with a weapon, and just said he'd punch him in a lazy, half joking voice (half joking as in, he really doesn't want to hear that - that's just his way of saying so; but that's not the voice of someone who is super angry and threatening).

My other huge grievance is that this is a recurring issue between them in the dub. Yuri is pretty much always vocally rude to Ioder. Ioder has done nothing to wrong him or anyone and has only ever done good for the people where he's able to.

Yet despite Ioder being nothing but sincere, honest and polite with Yuri, in fact even happy to see him here and there, dub Yuri is outright tonally rude to him leading right up this scene where he threatens Ioder in this dark voice. Meanwhile he's actually just supposed to be… lazily telling Ioder he'll punch him in his Yuri Lowell way of saying "I don't want to hear that".

The dub really just wanted to turn Yuri into this dark edgelord and I hate that for my goofy, silly boy.

[perenlop]

terribly sorry for progressively getting more and more annoyed and tired with jn. this show kinda gets a lot more exhausting on a rewatch when you know its not going to get better

[tarraxahum]

One thing I have to thank having Speed Racer as my first fandom ever for

is that it's practically impossible to frustrate me with adaptations being different from source material. However drastically.

No shade to fans who get salty about character rewamps or loose story interpretations, but when your first ever exposure to Media You Care About was a franchise that NEVER had two interpretations consistent with each other (story, time period, setting, location, race, names, looks, character development, family dynamics, who is related to whom, fucking car design, future generations consistency, you name it - they flipped it AT LEAST once)... You just never develop the ability to give a fuck!

[zosan-secondchances]

The Pirate King of the North

Main Themes: Villain Sanji, Alternate Universe, Zosan Ship

AU where Straw Hat Pirates meet old Sanji from a reality where Reiju didn't have emotions.

Warning: Long post ahead and some One Piece spoilers. Contains strong language.

Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Young Zoro hates the fucker but those scars and piercings are doing a number to his soul.

Old Sanji's story goes like this:

He didn't experience compassion from anyone else aside from his mother, who--you know what happened.

Judge kept him locked away until he was 13. He had him released when he was deemed too broken to do anything, and he was apparently a waste of space. As far as the world was concerned, he was already dead. He gets left behind at some random pirate town in the North.

His swirly brows were recognized by the pirates who took him in--only for him to be enslaved because people would pay a lot to have their way with royalty.

He picked up some skills from the other slaves and became cunning af--because he had to be.

At 17 he started a revolt against the slaver pirates, effectively taking over as their new pirate captain.

He became the feared "Mr. Prince" and his words are as sharp as his bite.

He's underweight because he doesn't give two shits about good food.

"The All Blue? It's nothing but an old fishwive's tale," he says.

He used his cunning mind and new pirate crew to hunt down and kill his own father from the shadows.

He enslaved his own siblings and becomes the new ruler of Germa Kingdom. Over the years, he used them for warfare and expanded the territory of the North.

His heart is a bottomless pit for power and control.

He had a fling or two or several with is closely allied with Doflamingo because god damn they're both mad like that. The alliance eventually lead to direct connections with Celestial Dragons.

Sanji gains more power and becomes the notorious "Pirate King of the North"

Meanwhile at the other side of the world, Luffy didn't make it as far as he could have without a good cook.

Luffy would have recruited one from Baratie but the restaurant was absolutely destroyed before the smaller Straw Hat crew could make a difference. Some of the staff didn't make it.

Zoro left the crew when it fell apart at some point.

Due to Zoro's reputation and bounty that he had occurred during his limited time with Luffy, he was offered a position as a Warlord, ultimately taking over the late Jinbe's old role. He accepted and served for several years before he was assigned a job that he didn't know would be the most challenging one yet.

The Celestial Dragons didn't like the fact that Sanji had started to have more worldly control over their own, so Zoro was quietly assigned to hunt down the great Pirate King of the North. Zoro accepted because he felt that he needed more experience before he could take on Mihawk again.

Zoro quickly realised that this mission is not a walk in the park.

Sanji loves toying with the Demon Warlord so he insists on taking him on by himself.

It becomes an endless game of cat and mouse. Sometimes Sanji chases and sometimes he runs, sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses.

They're at each others' throats everywhere in the world. Any person, city or being of any kind that gets in the way usually gets torn apart in the chaos. The hunt goes on for a lifetime. They're currently in their 40's.

Zoro severs Sanji's left arm during one huge fight.

Because of this, Sanji relentlessly tries to get Zoro to marry him to use him in so many ways he can think of--both as an asset and under the sheets--oh the things that he wants the swordsman to do and beg for.

Sanji likes to refer to the tiniest scar on his lip as "Zoro's love bite"

He was about to get a nice fresh one on his chest when some fuckers teleported him away.

Hearing old Sanji's backstory was a bit much. It was young Zoro's turn to have a nosebleed that day.

----------

Oh yes I had fun drawing old silver fox, damaged Sanji. I wish I have the time to colour it up. I've also been very much into reading AU stories, especially soul brand ones. Keep them coming, you beautiful people.

Edit: Woo! I finally decided to make my own AO3 account. It's about time. Link here for the story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60686077

[neverendingford]

.

[natugood]

I love just sitting and working in small, local coffee shops for hours at a time. Even though it’s hard for me to sit still, it’s really fun to get to see all the people who come in and to get a better sense of the community as a whole. I love half listening to conversations, seeing how people interact with each other and with the baristas, and who even is drawn to the location in the first place. I don’t usually feel like paying $2 - $6 for a coffee or tea is really worth it except on special occasions, but the value of getting to be around people in a pleasant, safe, open environment like that really adds so, so much value to the experience. I like to feel connected to the people around me, so it makes me happy!

[notmeowse]

That AMA marks the end of Dragon Age.

In my opinion.

I'll start by saying that I have played all 3 of the previous games repeatedly, I've loved the series for 15 years, more than half my life. These games inspired me to become a writer and they've shaped a lot of my tastes and interests in shows and writing -- to say they were formative is kind of an understatement. Don't want to go on and on about how much I loved them, that's not the point here.

I didn't care for Veilguard for pretty much all of the reasons people have already discussed at length on Reddit and Tumblr. The writing is comprehensively bad, the romances are easily the worst Bioware has written by pure virtue of having the most cookie-cutter pacing and shallow characterization I've seen across their games, the lore has been shafted in every direction, and the nuanced storytelling and roleplay I came to expect from the series has been taken out back and shot in the head.

All, apparently, in the name of a "clean slate". It seems to me that, rather than familiarizing himself with the existing lore of the game he took the creative reins on, Epler clearly had a vision for Dragon Age (or perhaps a different IP entirely) in his head that he decided to transplant into the game (and possibly Trick? But they've said so little beyond defending their work that I can hardly theorize what direction they were coming from). That being a sanitized, wildly self-contradicting, morally absolute shitshow focused on distancing itself from the previous games as much as possible. Now, I know it's unrealistic to blame one person entirely, and I don't blame him entirely. Corinne was there. Trick was there.

But if it wasn't already evident from the numerous interviews Epler's given on the game as well as his participation in the Q&A's (while the actual lead writer of the game has been completely absent in not just the marketing, but in most fan-related interaction pre and post-launch outside of BSKY), this AMA seems to have confirmed, more than anything else, that Epler doesn't understand the game nor does he understand its audience. Neither does Corinne Busche, who despite being Game Director for only the last two years of development, has been answering lore questions a) like she has any fucking clue and b) like she thinks Dragon Age is a cozy-gamer IP, meant to appeal to people that want uplifting stories with uncontroversial characters, morally upright heroes, and unquestionably evil villains.

So as of today's AMA, I think I've finally had enough. We're just outright retconning the lore in Reddit AMA's now, I guess. Among other things. I'll provide a few examples, just so we're all on the same page.

This was part of Epler's response to why Solas didn't have his cult following in the game (insert "We Kind of Forgot" meme here):

Solas' experience leading the rebellion against the Evanuris turned him against the idea of being a leader. You see it in the memories - the entire experience of being in charge ate at him and, ultimately, convinced him he needed to do this on his own. And his own motivations were very different from the motivations of those who wanted to follow him - he had no real regard for their lives or their goals. So at some point between Trespasser and DATV, he severed that connection with his 'followers' and went back to being a lone wolf.

The fact that this (the not caring bit) directly contradicts the writing in the actual game is absolutely INSANE to me, moreso than the lack of Solas's spy network (which he apparently carried with him for 10 years only to conveniently drop right before the ritual? Because he clearly had them research Rook?). But in regards to the not caring -- here's a line from Solas's memory of killing Mythal in Veilguard, which. I'll get to Mythal in a minute:

Why should I not tear down the Veil, and bring back immortality to all the elven people? They deserve it!

Which is it? Does Solas care about the people he's saving (the venn diagram of people he's saving vs. the people following him is surely a circle, i.e. elves) or not? Does he even care about the spirits trapped behind the Veil anymore or is it just convenient to abandon them and have him only care about elves, now? What happened to saving The People? What happened to him not identifying as an elf in his conversations with a Dalish Inquisitor? And what the absolute fuck happened to him wanting to bring back the magical marvels (that the ancient elves did in fact achieve) that were greater than anything we see in Thedas today? Here's what Epler has to say about elven magic, now:

I do agree that the elves have had their place in the sun at this point. [...] The thing about the Evanuris is that, ultimately, they were able to take a very specific type of magic and shape it into doing what they wanted. But even their understanding of magic was only skin deep [...] Even the magic that Tevinter wields, the magic of the Southern mages, is different from what the Evanuris used. The magic of the Evanuris is powerful but it's sterile, and it's constrained. So while the Evanuris have made magic work in a way that's more predictable and understandable, it's not the only kind of magic out there, and even then, I'd say they understood it at a very surface level. People were confidently describing how the natural world worked back in the 16th century. Very few of them were right.

First of all, Tevinter has been stated in previous games to have clumsily adapted ancient elven magic for their own, but they did adapt it. To the point where even Solas is surprised that Corypheus achieved effective immortality -- by binding himself to a dragon the same way the Evanuris did. So, cool, more contradicting the lore here. "They understood it at a very surface level" you mean when all of the magic of the Fade wasn't locked behind the Veil? You mean when magic flowed freely through the world? What do you mean, Surface Fucking Level? The entire point of the Dalish elf culture is what they lost; this wasn't the ancient elves thinking the sun revolved around the earth, the Veil was their fucking Library of Alexandria burning. Oh my god. I still cannot believe he said this.

And how have the elves had their day in the sun? I'm sorry, was Arlathan not given to... the Veil Jumpers? Instead of the Dalish? What happened to all the Dalish clans in the south, who had no infrastructure when the world was apparently blighted to hell? I guess they're just gone now! They've had their day! The story of the Dalish and the Evanuris is over (also confirmed in this AMA), and it apparently ends with the final snuff of the candle that is their culture. Congratulations, Chantry, you've won! Only took two genocides and a double blight, but we're done with the Dalish now! We get your mind-numbingly superficial factions instead!

What happened to Mythal, by the way? What happened to "She was betrayed as I was betrayed, as the world was betrayed! Mythal clawed and crawled her way through the ages to me, and I will see her avenged!" What happened to the reckoning that will shake the very heavens? John's answer to this:

People grow and change over time. Mythal's essence - and in particular, the fragment of her spirit that Morrigan carries, that she got from Flemeth - is not the same Mythal who he knew millennia ago. Centuries of living in this world and being around the kinds of people Flemeth found herself around - the Hero of Ferelden, Hawke, the Inquisitor - changed her views, and made her realize her own culpability in turning Solas into the kind of person he is now.

Oh, right, okay. So she was pissed for like a thousand years, got her big speech about the impending "reckoning" out 10 years ago, and then she just chilled out because the last 3 heroes were neat people. What a fucking joke. And yes, here is the confirmation that the Evanuris story is over --

The story of the Evanuris is done - the gods are dead (or imprisoned) and Thedas is in a state of flux and uncertainty. I imagine that whatever happens next is going to be a surprise to everyone, including the people of Thedas."

So I guess Mythal's reckoning is never coming. One of the most fascinating characters in the series, shrouded in mystery for those first 3 games, PROMISING US a blaze of glory, only to fizzle out in this one. Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, for Epler's clean fucking slate. And we've not just tied up her story, but also the Veil and the Blight:

When Solas bound himself (or, depending on your ending, was forcibly bound) to the Veil, it severed the connection that the Blight had to the waking world. The reality is that the Veil has been leaking ever since the Magisters first entered the Black City, and the dreams of the Titans gave it its terrible and awesome power. Now that the Veil is fully repaired, the Blight lacks that motive force, and being so close to the epicenter of that change has stripped the Blight in Minrathous of its vitality. It's calcified now - dead - and Bellara/Neve no longer suffer its effects. If they'd been anywhere else, further from that epicenter, it would've likely been different and they still would be looking for a cure.

So the Veil is permanently fixed now because our half-dead Dread Wolf bound himself to it (a decision I still don't understand) and that somehow fixed every single hole ever poked in it. Fully repaired. No more holes, no more "Veil is thin here" because tons of people died in the same spot, nope, we're washing our hands and leaving it (and the spirits) behind us because we've wrapped up both the series-long Veil storyline and the blight storyline in a big red bow.

And Epler tells us Solas not only bound himself to the Veil but fixed it entirely in one fell swoop, no ritual required, just a little slice to the hand. Again, all in the name of a clean slate, so any future installments or media centered around Thedas can turn away from this story.

Then there's this. What we can expect from future installments, I freaking guess. The aforementioned roleplay getting taken out back and shot:

Q: "What lead you to the decision to step away from active conversations with the companions as in previous Bioware games, where you can initiate them at any moment and ask exhaustive questions?"

John: "For us, because of tech limitations, it became a choice between exhaustive investigate conversations, or letting the companions move more freely around the Lighthouse. With the kind of experience we were going for, one where seeing the team grow around you is paramount, we felt that seeing them interact in common spaces (and in each other's rooms) made more sense."

Literally confirmed that they chose companions moving freely about the cabin over ... interacting with them outside the handful of cutscenes we got. Who in their right mind would think this was a good call in a Dragon Age game? A series that quite literally prides itself on complex character interactions and storytelling? So they could... sit in different places? Are you kidding me?

They don't see an issue with the game's reception. They don't have any interest in addressing or responding to criticism. They're either happy with their choices or EA's got a gun pointed at their heads, I'm honestly not sure anymore. I used to believe the latter was true, but looking at both Epler's and Busche's responses today, I'm inclined to believe the former.

So I think that's it for the series. Not that I thought it was going to get another game after this, but on the absolute off chance it did, what would be the point? The best stories were ruined. Anything left they have to tell is going to read a lot like Veilguard -- superficial, morally absolute, flagrantly disrespectful to the lore, and delivered in a very poorly written package.

[stevebabey]

you're the only one for me, baby

1.7k, steddie, one of them getting so drunk that they don't recognise the other and telling them back off i've already got a boyfriend, it's all sweetness <3 likely a modern!au and actually just goobers in love

Eddie doesn't really drink. He's not against partying but he's much more attuned to smoking a little weed to take the edge off, sometimes a spliff if he wants to mix a little business and pleasure.

Eddie doesn't really drink—so when he does, it goes about as well as expected.

From zero to a hundred.

Steve had lost track of him after directing his stumbling feet towards the bathroom to take a leak. But apparently, as he's now found out, this bathroom has two doors.

What the fuck kind of bathroom has two doors, like some weird thoroughfare?

Regardless, it took all of five minutes with no noises coming from the inside before Steve had loudly announced he was coming in, no matter what, getting quite worried for his boyfriend.

He trusted Eddie to not be too sloshed to handle a piss, even if he was on the wilder side tonight, but still leaned up against the door to chase off anyone else looking to knock—because Eddie hilariously gets pee-shy.

The door had opened easily, apparently unlocked, and Steve had stepped into the empty bathroom. The other door across the room, the one he hadn't noticed until now, was wide open to the party.

So, now he's on the hunt for Eddie.

Which is a task that feels a little bit like herding cats because drunk Eddie isn't something Steve has a lot of experience with. But what he does know, is this: it's the opposite of high Eddie.

Stoned, Eddie likes to find the comfiest place he can (usually Steve's lap, or so he proclaims) and sink into it, like melting wax. Then, given he has access to adequate snacks, he doesn't move for quite some time.

Drunken Eddie cannot even fathom the concept of sitting still.

Either way, looking where there's food is a good as a place to start as any.

Steve ambles out the strange two-doored bathroom and flips his head back and forth, trying to remember the direction of the kitchen. He hasn't been here before—one of Eddie's band connections—and Steve's still had a couple beers himself.

He shakes his head and takes a left, relieved when it leads to the stairs. Okay, he sort of knows where he's going now. They had only come upstairs to find the quieter bathroom for Eddie.

As Steve reaches the bottom of the stairs, a faint stir of irritation flashes through him. Eddie just left him behind? That wasn't that nice, even if he was incredibly drunk.

He can hear the din of people chattering just above the music and he follows it, leading him into the half-full kitchen, people dotted around. There's a few pizza boxes scattered around and Steve eyes each of them specifically, looking for the tell-tale wipe of Eddie's greasy fingers. No dice.

Steve wrinkles his nose, spinning around and double checking before he moves on.

If not by the food, then... where?

Steve takes a few steps forward into the living room, his heart beginning to sink and shrivel all at once. There was a miserable feeling attached to looking for his partners at a party, a wallowing and awful memory tied to the feeling.

Steve pushes a hand across his chest roughly, as if trying to shove the feeling away.

Eddie wasn't... her. Eddie wouldn't do that.

But the moment he's thought it, it's stuck in his head. Steve's feet begin to speed up, checking a little more carelessly as he starts to stick his head in different rooms, his hazel eyes jumping around. Not Eddie, not Eddie, not Eddie—so many people and none of them are Eddie.

Until—there. Steve spots a very familiar looking behind as it leans over the back of the couch, the owner of said-behind talking to someone sitting on the couch.

He blinks, just to be sure, but the details come into better focus. There's chains on his belt loops and when he shakes his head, Steve can see the curls he loves to bury his hands into.

Eddie.

Steve's relief pulls him forward, his feet almost stumbling, his mouth pulling into a relieved smile. He puts a hand out, fingers spread, across the leather-clad back.

"Eds," Steve says, relief colouring his voice.

Eddie swings up abruptly, pushing himself off the couch. When he turns, a bit of liquid sloshes out of the beer bottle he's holding.

"Heyyy," The words come out a bit slurred and when he finally stands straight, he doesn't look right at Steve. "Handsssss off the merchandise, buddy."

Steve chuckles, reaching out and plucking the bottle from his boyfriend's grasp. Eddie gawps, an adorable little hiccup interrupting his shocked expression.

"Hey," He says loudly, reaching forward for it fruitlessly as Steve pulls it out reach. "That's mine." Eddie whines.

"You've had more than enough, I think." Steve says. He steals just one gulp of it before he turns at puts it on a nearby table. When he turns back, Eddie is frowning at him, brows pulled together tightly and bottom lip jutting out.

"Listen—" Eddie leans forward, jabbing a finger into Steve's chest. "I dunnowhoyouthinkyouare," The words come out in a one big jumble and Steve frowns.

What? Something sour claws into Steve's chest at the frosty greeting.

"Eddie," Steve says, his hazel eyes wide and worried as his gaze darts between Eddie's squinted face and swaying form.

Steve reaches out to put a hand on his waist, aiming to steady him, but Eddie sees it coming and widens his eyes comically. He swerves back to avoid it, his boots tilting dangerously on the wooden floors. If he was still holding his beer, Steve bets half of it would be on the floor by now.

"Wo-oah," Eddie exaggerates, waving a hand out and batting Steve's outstretched arm away. The rottenness in Steve's chest blooms, rancid and freezing. He sucks in a sharp breath.

"Ed—"

"I—" Eddie says, holding up his hand and waggling one finger at Steve, like he's a naughty schoolboy. His words still have that drunken slur to them.

"—already have a boyfriend, thank you very much. He's much too pretty to be throwing it away for the likes of you, you weasel of a man..." His ludicrous and nonsensical insult trails off under his breath as Eddie's attention is drawn away by a shout across the room.

As he watches Eddie drape himself back over the couch, the sourness between Steve's ribs shifts, transforming into something infinitely sweeter. He lets out a dazed laugh, a wild smile spreading on his face before he can smother it beneath his hand.

I'm dating a lunatic, Steve thinks happily.

He reaches out and steals Eddie's beer once more, taking another large swig before giving it another go.

This time, he sidles up beside Eddie who's engaged back in conversation with one of the guys on the couch, and just waits. It only takes a minute before the dude on the couch seems to realise who Steve's waiting for and he nudges Eddie, gesturing behind him.

Eddie, still bent over the back of the couch, twists only his head to look. This time, the recognition is immediate.

He springs up, pushing the couch forward an inch in his excitement and leaps forward, his hands clawing into Steve's shoulder with a fierce delight.

"Steeeeve," Eddie croons, crowding in close. His hands start moving, fingers searching like curious spiders, fingertips dancing along the sensitive skin of Steve's neck til he's squirming back, laughter betraying him.

"Stop it." He laughs. Steve arrests Eddie's wrists in his hand and Eddie cackles, using the pause to surge forward, kissing him square on the mouth.

Eddie tastes like the beer he's been drinking and Steve barely gets a moment to enjoy it before Eddie's pulling back, leaning forward so they're forehead to forehead.

"I was looking for you." Eddie says, his doe eyes wide. His pupils grow larger the longer he stares at Steve.

Steve grins. "Uh huh. Looking for me between the couch cushions, were you?"

Eddie rears back, his head flipping as he stares back at the couch and then back at Steve. "Nuh uh. I came out the bathroom and you were goooone."

That explains it. Eddie must have left out the other door — and then thought Steve had left him behind and gone hunting for him. Something else settles in Steve's chest, relieved.

"And—" Eddie hiccups. "—and some guy tried to- to freakin' flirt with me. Can you believeee?"

Steve's grin widens by a mile. "Is that so? What you'd tell him?"

"No, of course!" Eddie says, head pulled back as if he's appalled Steve would think otherwise. He shakes his hands out of Steve's grip and drops them, fumbling for a moment to get his fingers into Steve's belt loops.

When he does, he yanks Steve forward a tad too forcefully, their bodies colliding in a way that's more sore than sexy. Eddie continues on as if he doesn't notice. "Even if he was particularly tasty," He murmurs, his lips tracing the column of Steve's throat.

"I let him know, baby." Eddie all but purrs.

And perhaps if the competition Eddie was beating off was literally anyone other than himself, Steve would be right there with him.

Instead, he can't contain his snort of laughter. Eddie was perfect; he was a possessive and drunken dog, barking up the wrong damn tree. Steve loves him.

"You're laughing," Eddie states plainly, even as his doe eyes manage to grow even more round. Steve can't help it, it just makes him laugh more.

"Treason." Eddie declares. Then using the belt loops to keep Steve captive, he leans in and blows a raspberry on his neck.

Steve lets out an unattractive squawk, his laughter melting into Eddie's as he pushes his boyfriend's face away — to which Eddie simply lets himself go limp, his face cradled and held up solely by Steve's hands.

"Christ," Steve says between his laughs, shifting his hand to hold him more tenderly. Eddie smiles dopely, then puckers his lips and closes his eyes.

Steve rolls his eyes, entirely too endeared. "Alright, c'mere," He gives in, leaning and kissing Eddie, short and sweet. When he pulls back, Eddie's eyes are open, starry and gazing up at him. He gives a dreamy sounding sigh. Steve's heart fizzles, like it's full of pop-rocks.

"Ready to go?"

"As long as it's with you, baby." Eddie says, sounding every bit like he means it.