#but then theres losing the one person he felt he could genuinely trust after he takes the fall for killing his dad

[todayisafridaynight]

damnnn was thinking of minedai and i think someone started cutting onions in my room haha

thinking about minedai always starts off like 'haha lmao mine so silly so silly yandere who would cry if daigo told him he was happy to have him as a friend' and then it quickly devolves into 'mine and daigo were both incredibly lonely people growing up one way or another, neither of them feeling as though they had a genuine relationship with someone until meeting each other' and then i throw up and cry

[mizunetzu]

iida 😍😍😍 that’s it that’s the request

LMAO WELL HAVE I GOT THE 3 PART 7K FIC FOR YOU-

Stay tuned y’all, I’m posting all parts + true ending all at once HAHA

——————

Iida x reader - Iida Tenya’s Imaginary Boyfriend (pt.1)

⚠️Warnings - um...idk but, a teeny weeny bit of ooc Iida bc haha

Pronouns - male, he/him

Part two can be found here!

The true ending can be found here! (Pt.3)

——————

Tapping your fingers on a surface repeatedly is a past time that Iida found rather irritable. Along with chewing or clicking on pens, bobbling your knee, fumbling with your hands, things like that.

Though, Iida couldn’t help himself from tugging and tapping on the light red watch strapped firmly to his wrist, checking it habitually.

Uraraka eyed Iida as he tiredly rubbed at the bridge of his nose, staring down the black clock hands as they moved too slowly for his liking. “8 more hours till I can see (L/n)-kun again...” he mumbled ever so quietly, pulling his grey sleeve back down.

He drummed his fingers on the side of his desk once more. Uraraka pursed her lips.

————

“Ne, Iida-kun, you look sort of...restless, these days. Did something happen?”

Iida looked up from his lunch. He hadn’t realized he was picking at his rice until Midoryia set a hand on his shoulder. He untensed and grasped his chopsticks correctly. “I assure you everything’s..alrig-“

“Who is ‘(L/n)-kun’, Iida?”

Uraraka butt in, both hands clenched and resting on the table. Iida stood silent for a tad too long.

“W-well I heard you mumble something about ‘8 more hours till I can see ‘(L/n)-kun’ again’ in class today a-and I was just wondering-“

“It’s no one you know.” Iidas voice was uncharacteristically dismissive and unstable. Two words that never would be used to describe Iida Tenya.

Iida abruptly rose from his seat. “I apologize. I need to do something.”

He briskly walked towards the exit of the cafeteria. Midoryia watched as he discreetly fumbled with the straps of a light red watch barely hidden by his blazer sleeve. He turned back to the table, to Uraraka and Todoroki.

“What do you think happened to Iida-kun? He barely seems like himself...”

“It’s been like that for about a month now, has it not?” Todoroki tapped on his chin with the butt of his chopsticks. Uraraka sighed.

“think it has something to do with this ‘(L/n)’ person?”

Todoroki shrugged. Midoryia sighed, bringing a forkful of rice into his mouth before stopping. “Actually, I think I remember Iida asking me about someone like, a month ago.”

“Was it ‘(L/n)-kun’?” Todoroki and Uraraka questioned, almost in unison. Midoryia let his fork drop back into his bowl. “I...I’m not sure. I think he was asking me about a name like...Ryota? No...Tadashi? No no, that wasn’t it...”

Midoryia rubbed at his chin, before a name popped into his mouth. “Oh! I remember! He asked me...”

———

“...Midoryia-kun, have you seen (L/n)-kun this morning? I haven’t seen him and he has my Quirk-Law textbook.”

Midoryia looked at Iida like he grew a second head. “...gomen, who?

It was Iida’s turn to look confused. He stopped eating his breakfast and faced Midoryia fully. “...(L/n)-kun. (L/n) (Y/n)?”

“Theres no one here named that, Iida-kun...” Midoryia awkwardly gulped down his water, filling his mouth to prevent him from accidentally saying something harsh. He wasn’t sure if he was in the wrong, or Iida was just plain on delusional.

Iida pursed his lips and turned to Uraraka, Tsuyu, and Todoroki. Perhaps Midoryia was just feeling a bit amnesic. Plus, (Y/n) was real close with Uraraka, even if it was slightly to close for his liking. So, she was bound to be able to answer Iidas inklings, right?

“Uraraka-kun, surely you’ve seen (L/n)-kun this morning, am I wrong? A-and what about you, Tsuy-I mean Tsu-chan. Todoroki-kun.”

All three of them gave him the same look of disarray Midoryia had gave him. Tsuyu shook her head while Todoroki grunted out a “no.” Uraraka pitifully set a hand on Iidas shoulder.

“Iida, are you feeling alright? There’s no one here named ‘(L/n)’...”

“Sure there is!” Iida was starting to get a little frazzled. Is this some kind of sick joke? If it was, he’d be willing to laugh it off right now. Surely any second, (L/n) would come running down, claiming he overslept and scarf down his breakfast. Where was he? He was waiting.

One by one, everyone surrounding Iida started to oogle at him, watching as their level headed class rep unraveled at the seams. “W-why must you all look at me like I’m crazy! Have you all forgotten about your own classmate?!”

Iida cursed himself for raising his voice. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding while Yaoyorozu silently counted all the people eating breakfast.

“...19...20. Yeah, no, everyone’s here. All 20. We have not forgotten anyone, Iida-san.”

Iida grit his teeth, a wave of worry piercing down his spine. “20? You can’t have counted 20 in this class if you have not counted (L/n)-kun!”

Everyone copied the look of confusion Iidas friends made. He broke into a cold sweat, grasping at the corners of the table. “(L/n)! (H/c) hair? (E/c) eyes? Accidentally stepped on Bakugou-kuns toe and had to be sent to the nurses office last week?”

People murmured and shook their heads amongst themselves. Some with genuine confusion and others with plain worry. Iida’s lost it, is what their probably thinking.

Iida stammered. “H-how can-“

“Iida-chan, don’t you think we would’ve known if we forgot someone? And don’t you think it’s weird we all collectively forgot this person you’re talking about? Sorry to say, Iida-chan, but this (L/n) person most likely isn’t real. Or we just don’t know him, kero.”

Iida opened his mouth to say something. Tsuyu looked at him with her blank stare, before subtly gesturing to everyone else with her head. He looked around the table.

Everyone either nodded tentatively or downcast their eyes as to mask their pitiful agreement. Everyone seemed to silently agree with her. Iida was stunned into submission.

He scrambled out of his seat. His voice cracked in disbelief. This was a joke. It had to be. “I-I’m going to go wake him up. He’s...he’s probably still sleeping. That’s all. You all are just being delusional.”

He walked as calmly as he could away from the common room, but once he turned the corner, he started sprinting. He hiked up the fabric of his pants over his calves as he ran, running up the stairs next to the elevator. The elevator would’ve took too long.

Running up to the fourth floor, he skidded to a halt in-front of (Y/n’s) dorm. Iida’s hand went up to grasp the doorknob, before hesitating and letting it rest flaccidly on the handle.

“(L/n)-kun?” Nothing was heard or called from inside the room. He really is a heavy sleeper. Iida swallowed the growing lump in his throat. Why was he so nervous?

Outside (Y/n’s) room, he knocked gently on the frame of the door. His voice wavered. “(L/n)!”

There’s no response.

“(Y/n)-kun!”

Nothing.

He really didn’t want to enter his room like this. It was a breach of privacy. What if he was just changing? No, if he were changing he could’ve surely heard him knock and call out his name. He has to be asleep.

He really left him no choice. Iida gently opened the door.

“...(y/-“

White.

He was face to face with an white, blank, empty room. The supplementary provided curtains were drawn closed and there was dust gathering around the bare floorboards. There was no trace of the dimly lit room, with papers strewn across the wooden desk and a bed that was never folded or made. There was no trace of the oddly sweet smell that came from his room, that never really bothered anyone, but no one ever knew was caused it.

There was no trace of (L/n) (Y/n).

Iida felt his knees buckle from underneath him. His legs promptly folded together, his engines digging into the skin of thighs. His jaw went slack. He heard footsteps echoing closer, eventually dying out with the assumption that that someone was behind him. He felt uneasy. He felt like throwing up.

“Iida...?” Uraraka’s voice was soft, like treading on thin ice. He heard Yaoyorozu hum softly, worry lacing her vocal cords. He panned his head slowly towards them, not wanting to look at the blank room once filled with life anymore.

“He’s...gone.”

“‘He’ was never here, Iida-San” Yaoyorozu crouched down, tucking her elbows in. “Do you need to talk to a professional...?”

“No! I need to speak with (L/...” Iida’s voice trailed off. There was no point in fighting a losing battle. He knew Uraraka and Yaoyorozu wouldn’t believe him. No one seemed to.

“...most likely...”

———

Uraraka’s eyes widened. “I...I remember that!”

Midoryia shoveled some food into his mouth. “Yeah, he seemed really out of it since then. He didn’t even notice when Kaminari-kun cheated on last weeks quiz.”

“Don’t you think it’s odd he still hasn’t gotten over this person even after a month? Iida isn’t the type to dwell on things. Whoever this (L/n) person is, he’s obviously important to him in some way.” Todoroki slurped up more of his soba. Midoryia and Uraraka silently agreed.

“Well-Deku said it himself-this person isn’t real!” Uraraka knitted her eyebrows together, slumping back in her chair. “And even if we tried asking Iida, he’ll probably blow us off again...”

“Still...he got me curious...I wonder what ‘(L/n)-kun’ looks like...”

Midoryia’s ears perked up. He shuffled around in his pockets, fishing out his phone and booting up a search engine. Typing vigorously, Todoroki and Uraraka leaned over the table and across his shoulder to see what he was typing. His screen turned pink, displaying a website.

“M-My mom was talking about this place a few days ago...I-we could get some information out of Iida-if he lets us take him-and know what (L/n)-kun looks like-!”

The bell rang, cutting Midoryia off promptly. He saved the address down in his notes, sending the web address to his two friends and pocketing his phone once more. Todoroki set his tray on top of the trash can, dusting off his blazer.

“It’s decided. We’ll go after afternoon classes. I’ll go get a permission slip from Mr Aizawa to leave campus. I trust you two can convince Iida to come along?”

Midoryia and Uraraka nodded. It was a plan.

———

The four stood in front of a small corner shop, it’s sign looking like it was made of cheap plastic, with the words “Art through words” written in dark pink cursive.

It was very off putting, but it had been gaining popularity through social media and other networking apps. Apparently it’s very popular with people who lost a loved one or police looking for a sketch of a villain.

“I...still don’t see why you two requested my presence he-“

“We just wanna know something.” Was all Uraraka said. Midoryia and Todoroki had a firm grip on each of Iidas shoulder blades, shoving him in through the narrow door while Uraraka strut in happily.

The doorbell gave a small jingle. A pale, soft-eyed woman looked up from her desk, her reddish-pink lips quirking up into a soft smile. Her wavy blond hair flowed as she stood up from her chair, leaning over the receptionist desk and resting her elbows on the surface.

“I take it you must be ‘Izuku’. Thank you for calling earlier.”

Midoryia hummed. The lady smiled warmly, leaving her desk to lead them to a door. “Well, follow me, kids. Sorry, my receptionist is on break-I don’t want you to think I’m some sort of scam arti-“

“No no, we’ve seen you around on videotube...and your quirk is amazing...”

“I’m sorry, may I ask who and what we are doing here?”

Everyone turned to Iida. The woman smiled gently, taking a seat behind a sketchbook propped up by an easel. The 4 took a seat across from her, sinking down into a pink couch. “I apologize. Let me give you my formal greeting.”

“My name is Kaitekina Byouga. I can illustrate anything someone describes with complete accuracy, as long as you aren’t lying about your description.” Iida pursed his lips.

“My business usually caters towards people who lose loved ones, so it’s strange to see such...young teenagers in my studio,”

Iida stiffened. He finally caught on. ‘Lost loved one’. It was obvious. He supressed a pointed glare at his friends, choosing to adjust his glasses instead.

“Alright,” Kaitekina flipped open her sketchbook, setting it back down on the easel. “Who’s going to describe something to me?”

Everyone gestured at Iida.

——————

Hahaha suffer

[symphonyofthewrite]

Saw your post, getting stuff off your chest, I just wanted to say that I haven't seen the thing with the kids mentioned by anyone and it really stood out to me, I feel what you mean to some extent, because for me it was a stronger reaction, albeit you probably won't feel the same and that's, obviously, perfectly fine. I have an instant recoil these days whenever a character is around kids for like one second and everyone instantly goes "THEY LITERALLY ADOPTED THEM/THAT'S THEIR CHILD/THEY'RE A PARENT"... genuinely sick of it, and I went white as a sheet when I heard it, I wanted to pluck my eyes out. I don't know if it's an American thing but English speaking fandoms (well, those teeming with fancops that is) seem like they cannot process adult looking characters being in any near proximity to childlike characters without automatically imposing parenthood and family dynamics and it's becoming distressing to me. I feel like Alucard needed to process his trauma and learn to trust and be whole again, he's young himself too, why he needed to be a "father figure" all of a sudden is beyond me.

Thank you so much for the ask!! I don’t get many asks so it makes me happy when I can talk meta with people 💛💛 (Sorry I’m a bit late in answering.)

Funnily enough I actually do agree with you. I didn’t have quite so strong a reaction, but I definitely had a very similar one when I first hear it.

My feelings were and are a bit mixed. I was saying in my other post that I would have preferred that I got to actually see this interaction; see the kids run by him and call him father, and him smile when no ones looking. I still think that would have been a better, more touching way to do the scene, and would have had more chance of me liking it (though I probably still would have felt very weird about it). (I think it especially would have been better because it would show that Alucard himself liked it, not that Greta was forcing the role on him.) I know that it was meant to be something touching, and pretty much everyone seems to like it (and I have seen some cute posts about it), so I just tried to like it too, and focus on the fact that all they were really trying to say was he was having a nice relationship with the kids, and that was indeed sweet.

But yeah, when I heard Greta say “I heard some of them calling you father” for me it was less a reaction of horror, and more a “HUH??!!”moment. When I heard it I was like “Alucard...you agree with this???!! This is how you see yourself??!!” I almost expected Alucard to refute it and say he didn’t see himself as a father to them. Like I seriously do not see Alucard as anything remotely close to a father figure, and it felt weird and wrong to me.

Like when I saw him interacting with the kids the first time, I didn’t think “oh he’s a father figure to them.” I just thought “yay, Alucard’s playing with some kids, and getting out of his bubble!!” I didn’t have any thoughts as to what his relationship role was with them, I just thought that first interaction was lovely.

And if I saw him interacting with the kids again, I still wouldn’t go “father figure” I’d just be like “yay, Alucard’s playing with the kids again, how sweet!!”

Sometimes the relationship doesn’t need a role or a label, ya know?

And I thought it was especially strange because…he literally just met them?? Like how can they possibly start calling him father when he’s played with them once or twice? Regardless of Alucard’s side or things, what group of kids would randomly call a nice man they just met ‘father’? Is...Is this a normal thing??

Anyways, back to Alucard’s side of things, Sypha’s line about Alucard being a teenager trapped an adults body has always been something that stuck with me and shaped how I view Alucard. I definitely view him as internally much younger than he looks. No matter how much I might hate them for what they did to him, I think Sumi and Take are about the age he actually is, and their relationship with him made sense to me. He’s still a kid—or at least young—he still needs his parents in his life, really. (That’s part of why I didn’t like that Drac and Lisa don’t go to him at the end. I personally don’t think Alucard really got closure, and in my mind I think he still very much needed them, and that would have been the perfect ending to his story in my mind, where everything comes full circle; He was forced to lose his parents and grow up too early, and only when he’s started to truly grow up does he get them back.) So yeah, I really don’t see him like a father at all. One of my main focuses in my Castlevania fanfiction is his relationship with Dracula, so I very much see him as the son, not as the dad, even when Drac isn’t around.

(Sidenote, come to think of it, I think this is another reason why Greta x Alucard is a nope from me. She’s very much an adult, so I just see a discrepancy between them that makes me feel weird about them being in a romantic relationship. If we need a label I feel like she fits as an older sister for him, guiding him and giving him support. Him unloading all his problems on her within just meeting her makes more sense if he’s like a younger brother who needs to cry to his sister. I felt weird about it in a romantic context when it was so fast. I mean I know he was desperate to talk to someone, and I probably would have done the same, but still).

“I feel like Alucard needed to process his trauma and learn to trust and be whole again, he's young himself too, why he needed to be a "father figure" all of a sudden is beyond me”

^^ THIS. EXACTLY THIS.

I was honestly really hoping they’d go in depth into him dealing with his trauma, and how he’s still hurting from the wounds of it, and how he needs to heal. I thought that’s what his S4 arc would be about. I don’t think they gave him the chance to really process and work through everything that happened. (Again, I don’t think him just unloading all his problems on a nice stranger is truly working through his trauma. I would have much rather watched him struggle to trust her, and him telling her about his trauma happen later, and be difficult for him, and a deep, heartfelt moment).

Like I was saying in my other post, I think if they framed his arc in how he dealt with the town collectively, I think that would have fit better, and been more touching and satisfying. I would have liked to see him struggling to trust humans, and then see as time progressed how several different people in the town liked him and meant him no harm, and how he realized he could trust them, and that he liked them too. It wasn’t that he had a bad romantic partner and needed a new one. He believed he needed to be punished for killing his father, and in his deep loneliness he let these kids into his house and heart, and they turned on him because he was half vampire. That’s something pretty deeply ingrained, and not something a new romance just fixes by existing. He needed to work through that in a much deeper way.

I know this is gonna be a very unpopular opinion, and it's totally cool if you disagree, but in a weird way... I sort of disliked Alucard’s ending. Don’t get me wrong, Im glad he’s happy, and I’d certainly prefer it to him just getting more trauma like last season (*shudders*), and I don’t think him opening up his castle (and his heart) to humanity is a bad way to end his story, certainly not. I think that fits. And my heart did melt a bit at the "I'm weirdly happy" scene. But, where everyone else is like “*sobbing* happy endings for all our faves” ...I see the creators of the show trying to wrap everything up in a neat little bow, and while that’s certainly not all bad, I don’t love every aspect of that. Theres a time and place for that, but a show based on video games, for which there’s more content in these storylines isn’t one of them in my mind.

Sometimes some of the sadness needs to linger. At the very least, let it linger at the beginning of the season so you can work through it in a powerful way, you know? It may have been tough to see Alucard be more closed off, but I think it would have been more satisfying to see him open up his heart and go back to his old self if we saw his trauma leave lingering effects at the beginning.

To me it didn’t feel like a satisfying arc, it felt like the fairytale ending of “oh look he’s not apprehensive about humanity even after what happened! Oh look he got the girl! And the Castle’s a happy place now! Look he’s not sad anymore! He’s even a father figure to these kids! He’s totally moved on!” And all those things can be awesome when done properly, and when they have depth to them. But they didn’t work through the trauma to get there, so it felt surface level to me, and too fast. I really liked that first episode, and how we saw the two sides of him—one that's become more closed off, and the other that still buries the human despite his comments—and I also really liked the first interaction with the kids, and thought that was one of the few interactions that had depth to it and fit with his arc well. Having it go beyond “they’re helping him learn to like and trust humanity again, and displaying who he really is inside” ended up detracting from the power of his relationship with them in my mind.

Having played SOTN, I think an ingrained loneliness and sadness are, in a way, a key part of Alucard’s character. That sounds really sad and awful out loud but…there are some people that just have a sadness or a loneliness to them, and that's not entirely bad. Here’s the thing…it can make them that much more beautiful. The fact that they still fight for good, even when they see all the dark, those moments when they find true friends, despite how alone they are, those moments when they are happy, are so much more powerful. They just are always a bit…separate from other people. One of my favorite lines in anything is the line "We are connected by our darkness, not by our light" in Pandora Hearts. I think it's a line that fits Alucard well, and it’s always something that’s drawn me personally to him. Don't get me wrong, I don’t think Alucard’s all dark and sad and lonely, he’s definitely got a bright side to him too, of course he does. But I also don't think he ever is able to fully accept the vampire side of himself, and I find that interesting, and worth exploring. Personally I was honestly hoping for the show makers to come up with a bittersweet reason for why he went to sleep for 300 years, (and I thought that's why they set things up with Sumi and Taka that he’d have something against his vampire nature). Personally it felt like they were trying to say “oh he’s all better now, he’ll never be sad or lonely again” and while that’s nice I suppose…for me it sort of…stops feeling like Alucard, in a way? I don't know if I'm explaining it right, or if that sounds terrible...😅

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I do agree that’s very common of fandom that people are like “boom! Just add water! Instant father figure!” and I don’t love it either. Sometimes it can be cute if it truly fits, but it doesn’t fit every relationship between an adult-looking character and a kid character, and shouldn't be the first place people go to. In the same way every relationship doesn’t have to be romantic, not every relationship has to be parental/familial either. Sometimes it feels like fandom culture isn't really okay to have some characters just be good friends. A good friendship can be more wonderful than a romance sometimes.

If we have to put a label on it, I think he seemed like a nice older brother figure to them? I think that fits who he is in my mind. But father? Nope. Not for me. And again, I don’t think it needs a label.

Thanks again for sending me this ask!! It was nice to get the chance to work through some more of my feelings here too. Sorry if I went too overboard. And I hope I don’t sound too terribly negative, it really was a great season, and I definitely liked some parts of his arc, just not all of it.

If you or anyone else reading would like to discuss with me more, be my guest!! 💕

[mindofharry]

ROSLYN

in which Roslyn stops trying.

WARNING: angst, fluff n everything in between!

thank you so much for 200 followers x enjoy 🥺

High school. Two words. Parents think teenagers are being dramatic when they say they don’t want to go to school, or it’s “prison”. High school is hell. Cheerleaders, bullies and jocks. Roslyn just stayed away. She was a pretty confident girl, she was the class “clown”. She didn’t have many friends, but she had acquaintes. It was tough going through high school with no real friends. Sure she knew everyone, but she didn’t have any friends. Which really she wasn’t too bothered about until home coming came around.

rejection. One word Roslyn was close with.

She had always liked Harry styles. I mean how could she not? He was music student. He was nice and smiled at her everyday in the hall. He helped her if she couldn’t answer a question. Always invited her to his party’s and gigs. And obviously Roslyn thought he liked her. Like she liked him. She was a very outgoing and confident person. So her being her, she decided to ask Harry to go to homecoming with her. She didn’t really like homecoming not because it was boring, but because she never had anyone to share the night with. She just didn’t want to be alone for once.

Her sister helped her with the poster. Which her sister, Sarah, was really proud of her for doing this, for even going to homecoming. Even though she was extroverted sometimes she found it hard to talk to people. She found it hard to trust and believe she was enough. So she hid all of her emotions. She pushed them deep down, and that got her no where. She had no friends and no one to dance with at homecoming. Even if Harry had one dance with she would be ok.

The day finally came when people were staring to ask people to homecoming. And by people she means boys. Roslyn was never one to be discouraged, so seeing none of the girls asking boys out pushed her a bit. She hoped Harry hadn’t asked anyone out yet. Of course he wouldn’t she thought. He likes you Roslyn. She felt crazy, but the signs were clear. Harry liked her. She finally saw Harry leaning beside his friends, Niall, locker. Niall immediately saw Roslyn with her poster and big smile. At first Niall was in shock as he had never seen her look genuinely happy. He nudged his friend, Harry, and smiled as he saw Harry groan.

“How many of these girls have asked you out today?” Niall asked stuffing his books in his bag. Harry shook his head banging his head against the locker and shrugged.

“Hi harry” Roslyn said with a teasing smile. “You can probably tell from my poster, but i was wonder-“ Roslyn was cut off by Harry “I’m sorry, i already have a date” Harry said and Roslyns smile fell of her face. She felt like she was going to cry. She could feel Nialls stare on her flushed face. She was not going to cry. She was not going to cry. “Oh, cool. Y-yeah of course” she stuttered “it was stupid anyway” she said crumpling up the poster and throwing it at Harry. “Enjoy your homecoming” she said walking away.

“You’re not going?” Harry asked with a frown. He felt really bad lying about having a date. He didn’t even like these dances. He just felt bad saying no without a reason. Which I guess would be worse in the long run, if she found out he didn’t actually have a date. “Not anymore” she mumbled before walking off.

Sarah comforted her with her favourite rom com movies and lots and lots of candy. “Maybe i should ask him out to a movie?” Roslyn asked sticking a bar of chocolate into her mouth. Sarah sighed, not having the heart to tell Roslyn he clearing wasn’t interested. Roslyn nodded to herself. “I’ll ask him in class tomorrow”

Tomorrow became today and Roslyn was ecstatic. She had walked to class with Niall and told him her plan. “Roslyn-“ he tried to stop her but was too late, Roslyn already was beside Harry.

“Harry! i was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie with me theres this new cool movie out and-“ Roslyn was once again cut off by Harry.

“I’m sorry. I have this thing on this weekend” he said not looking sorry at all. Roslyn sighed nodding. “Well you have my number! Text me” she said walking back to Niall. “He said he was busy” Roslyn said pouting. Niall sighed and looked apologetic as he knew Harry had nothing on this weekend.

“Hey! Why don’t we go out?” Niall said and Roslyn looked up smiling “really? You’d go with me?” She asked and he nodded grinning. “Of course! You’re funny and cute! Who wouldn’t go out with you” he said and she blushed before pouting again “harry”

Soon the weekend came and she had the best time with Niall. She was lucky to call him her friend. She was so happy she didn’t just waste away the weekend.

On Monday she walked in with flowers in her hand. She spotted Niall and Harry together on a bench. Niall immediately waved her over with a confused look because of the flowers. She had asked Harry out again on Sunday. But of course he had said no. So now she was after Niall. Harry didn’t want her, Harry didn’t like her. But Niall did. So she was going to treat her friend. She didn’t have a crush on Niall. She just wanted him to know how grateful she was. Call it dramatic or clingy but she didn’t want to lose him.

“Let me guess. You want to go out with me” Harry asked closing his eyes. “No. I was going to ask Niall out” she smiled and Harry opened his eyes. “These are for you m’lady” she said kneeling down. Niall laughed pulling her into a hug. “You can come if you want Harry! But you’re always so busy” Roslyn said pouting.

“I’m actually free after school” Harry said quickly. Niall sighed shaking his head. “Let me walk you to class” Niall said wrapping an arm around Roslyn. “I’ll come with” Harry said running after them.

School ended and they all made their way to the cafe Roslyn recommended. She always came here on a Monday. And she could get there really easily too (she didn’t like exercise) so it was only a 5 minute walk away from the school, otherwise she wouldn’t walk. She’s always been like that. She’s doesn’t understand how she hasn’t gotten ill yet. She barely exercises and eats junk food everyday. She’s not complaining though. They all stopped outside the cafe. It was a retro cafe and they had really good hot chocolates. And they played a lot of music she would be into.

“My sister and i found this place” Roslyn said “i was going to bring Harry here yesterday - but he was busy” she said and grabbed nialls arm. “Come on let’s get some seats”

After finding seats and ordering they all fell into a comfortable silence. Roslyn looking out the window. Harry looking at Roslyn and Niall colouring in the menu. Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac came on and roslyns smile lit up the room.

“This is my favourite song!” Harry and Roslyn said at the same time. Roslyn smiled as Harry blushed. “So hows your date for homecoming?” Roslyn asked Harry leaning across the table. “Is she cute? Or he!?” She asked and Harry sighed “i- i dont have a date” he stuttered.

“Oh” Roslyn said clearing her throat. “I asked you and you said no?” She said clearly confused. “It’s just-“ he began and Roslyn shook her head “you could’ve just told me you didn’t want to go with me. I’m used to it Harry” she muttered looking down at her phone.

“Hey Niall I have to go” she said smiling at him. “What we just got here” he whined. “I know my sister needs help with something” she said hugging him when she was out of the booth not bothering to say goodbye to Harry who clearly waiting for one.

“I’ll see you tomorrow niall”

“Bye Roslyn” Harry said and she sighed walking off. Harry groaned banging his head on the table. How was he going to win her back?

Harry came into school the next day with flowers. He waited by her locker. He immediately smiled when he saw her.

“Roslyn! I got these for you!” He exclaimed and she smiled “that’s nice of you Harry” she said patting his shoulder before opening her locker.

“I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie tomorrow?” He asked messing with the bottom of his shirt. “I’m sorry! I’m really busy helping my sister re decorate her apartment” Roslyn said with a pout “maybe another time” she said squeezing his arm.

This went on for two weeks. Roslyn completely ignoring Harry. Saying no to his plans and not smiling at him in the halls. Harry finally understood how she must of felt. It was no excuse but he was just scared. He’s liked Roslyn for awhile. But he panicked. And now he was going to make it up to her. By singing.

He set up his equipment with his band in the cafeteria at lunch. He knew she ate here. He’d always see her making someone laugh, or talking with the lunch ladies. He had told Niall the plan to which he was fully on board with.

Soon enough the bell rang and the music started. He started singing one of her favourite songs (Niall told him) darling by Christian leave. Niall had grabbed her arm the minute he heard Harry and the band start. He had to hurry as he was needed for the chorus of the song. “Please tell me that’s not harry” Roslyn said trying not to smile.

She walked into the cafeteria Niall running up to Harry grabbing his guitar. Harry looked at her as he sang “darling I’m in love”. Roslyn giggled walking closer to him. “I know who I want to be now. Just your man” he sang as Roslyn danced around with a couple of other girls.

The song ended and he walked up to Roslyn with the poster she made him.

“Homecoming?”

[seawolvesanddragons]

Critical Role Character Study Songs - Yasha//Combo Songs

(all songs taken from my 2008 ipod that has not been updated in literal years)

First off a thousand apologies to Yasha that she only gets to individual songs...I genuinely just could not find a lot of songs on my ipod that fit her well; blame my music tastes. 

YASHA

“I don’t know if you can hear me/I don’t know if you would listen to a gypsy’s prayer,”

God Help the Outcasts (Hunchback of Notre Dam) -  While I could also see this applying to Jester, I felt it fit better with Yasha. Something about the sad, simple request in the song, the denial for anything for themselves while asking for their loved ones and those turned away from society just screamed Yasha, and also reminded me of how Yasha interacts with the Stormgod.

“I’m standing in the sleet and rain/don’t think I’m ever going to make it home again,”

Wheel in the Sky (Journey)- Look I can’t exactly describe eloquently why this is a Yasha song, but it’s a Yasha song; especially the references to where she doesn’t really know where or what tomorrow will bring 

COMBO SONGS 

“I’m running out of time/I really thought you were on my side,”

Don’t Let Me Down (Chainsmokers)- Fjord (when worried about Uk’otoa) or Yasha (when possessed)

“Funny, one small part I never knew/with everything to win/the only thing I lose is you,” 

Everything to Win (Anastasia)- a couple of them: 

Essek when he realizes he actually likes the Nein, 

the group when dealing with the hag and Beau’s deal; 

Caleb when acknowledging that turning Nott back might mean the end of her time with the group 

“I know you hear me now/we are a different kind/we can do anything,”

Heroes (Alesso)- Jester/Mollymauk; While the others tend to take a more cynical and pessimistic view of their role in everything and the type of people they are, I feel like Jester would relate to this song - while they work undercover a lot and aren’t welcome in, well, a lot of places, they’re a skilled and powerful group in the position to do a lot of good, and Jester would want to try and do that; Mollymauk’s whole “leave everyplace better” also is reminiscent in the lyrics. 

“I know that greatness lies in you/but remember from here on in/history has it’s eyes on you,” 

History Has It’s Eyes on You (Hamilton)- Beau, Fjord; Out of everyone, I feel like these two carry the burden sung about in this song the most. Beau, as an expositor and increasingly their spokesperson, was instrumental in  their attempts to negotiate for the end to the war and Fjord as a generally conscientious person is aware how much their actions can have consequences and effect others, and after his own struggle with Uk’otoa is very wary about this. 

“You never knew how wonderful/that smile could make someone feel//but we’re a million worlds apart/and I don’t know how I would even start,” 

If I Could Tell Her (Dear Evan Hansen)- Beau, Caleb, Fjord about Jester; Look if this song doesn’t accurately sum up all three of these fools’ lovestruck thoughts about Jester who they all perceive as way out of their league, than nothing does. 

“He will never be part of us//and we know that he’ll never be part of us,” 

One of Us (Lion King II) - all of them at one point tbh plus Essek; They all felt like outcasts at one point or another but this song particularly reminded me of Essek’s feelings of rejection from being a young prodigy and a non-consecrated one at that. 

“She’s a trusting soul/she put her trust in you//tell her everything you feel,”

Tell Her About It (Billy Joel)- Nott to Beau (or Fjord) about Jester; Look, I’m just saying that at some point Nott’s preference for meddling and her knowledge about Beau’s crush is going to come up during role play. Sam is just biding his time. 

“Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing/who can live without it/I ask in all honesty,”

Thank You for the Music (ABBA)- Cad or Jester to Wildmother/Traveler; This song is about thanking an unnamed power about music, but it could just as easily be about the abilities granted to them through their deities. I feel its more applicable to Jester, and her unique relationship with the Traveler, but I wanted to include Cad in there. 

“I rose up from the dead/I do it all the time//I don’t like your little games/don’t like your titled stage,” 

Look What You Made Me Do (Taylor Swift)- Yasha when raging; Jester when she tricked the Hag to save Nott and Beau and the whole damn peace effort. 

Admittedly not on my iPod but I wanted an additional song for Yasha’s raging and Jester tricking the Hag moment deserved it

“Give them an act with lots of flash in it//and they’ll never catch wise,” 

Razzle Dazzle (Chicago)- Jester (and Mollymauk?); A lot of Jester’s fun comes through trickery and loud, bedazzled statements; she is loud and charming in a disarming way and unapologetic about it because she knows theres a strength in it and it is who she is. She uses her charm to get everyone to let their guards on - and sometimes (like the hag or Essek) that turns out its own kind of deadly for them.  Mollymauk was skilled bs-er who was always ready with some sort of wild backstory or distraction to keep information close to his chest 

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

AH FUCK (sorry i curse a lot when excited, or in general) can i get headcanons with dabi realizing he is love with gn!reader (better if you can do it in male reader!) who helped him leave behind his villain life and now they live together, but as friends at first tho, EXTRA FLUFFY PLEASEEE and thank you!!

I got you, babe 😉 I hope you like it!

So you have a healing quirk

Nothing too extravagent

But the league needed someone to heal them due to all their increased activity, and they found you

They went through hospital staff records and saw your quirk, and they kidnapped you

Kurogiri telling you that you don't have to take any part in their activities, just heal them, and they wont bother you other than that

And as much as you didn't want to associate with villains, you agreed

That's how you met Dabi

You saw all his burns one day, and instantly tried to heal him

"I doubt theres anything you can do unless you can grow skin back"

After time, you learned that the league members weren't all that bad

Of course, they were still villains, but being around them all the time made you see them more as a big group of friends who piss each other off

But they were nice to you mostly!

Especially Dabi, hed always flirt with you a bit - you soon learned that was just how he was, and you grew close

However, you were open about your feelings of what they were doing

"You know, you're not a bad person Dabi... you could stop this, just leave it all. I know you're not happy with society, but I'm not sure theres much you can do."

You never pressured him though, and that's probably what convinced him the most

You seemed genuinely concerned about him, and you didn't call him a monster

He trusted you, that even if he did stay here, you would still care about him

So, he left

You had to get another apartment, deciding that you would stop associating yourself with the league as well - so you had to take precautions to make sure they couldn't find you

You let dabi move in with you, seeing as he probably wouldn't be able to get one of his own

And thus, your friendship grew!

He was thankful for you helping him find an escape, he was happy here

Just living a fairly normal life

He learned how to cook - other than just using the microwave, while you worked to bring money

He hadn't felt like he had a family in a long time, but he knew he had with you

Staying up all night watching movies

Cleaning the house

Hell, just going grocery shopping together

It all felt so right

Too right, in fact

At some point, he got scared

Scared that it would all be ripped away at some point, that his past would catch up to him

He didn't want to lose you

He stayed up one night, sobbing at the possibility of losing everything

That's when he figured out he loved you

And that scared him even more

He went into your room and sat on the bed, staring at you

You woke up as the bed shifted, and you groggily opened your eyes to stare at him

"Dabi? what's up?"

He didn't say anything, and as your eyes adjusted to the dark you noticed the tears flowing down his face

You quickly pulled him into a hug, and he slowly wrapped his arms around you

"What's wrong?"

You were the only person he felt safe with, the only person he could confide in

"I'm scared."

You let him sleep with you that night, and he clung to you as you ran your fingers through his hair

He didn't tell you what he was scared of, but you could guess

You were scared of losing him too

After that, Dabi made sure to let you know of his feelings - but without words

He couldnt bring himself to actually tell you how he felt - at least not for a while - but he made sure to show you

He increased his usual flirting, making sure to amp it up a bit

"Did you know you are the most beautiful man I've ever seen?"

"Wow, look at you, all cute and shit"

"Come on, hot stuff, let's go get some ice cream"

You'd retaliate of course

"I'm not a mirror, Dabi."

"I could say the same to you~"

"Wow, are you taking me on a date? How cute."

All of this, along with the loving smiles you'd share

All of the prolonged touches

The nights you spent cuddling instead of going to your separate rooms

You both knew what was up

It was never said out loud, but after a night of cuddling that ultimately led to much more, it was official

"Dabi? You know I love you, right?"

"Ya... and you better remember - I love you too."

[slcters]

 「 avan jogia. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 SLATER MALIH SAVALIA 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 LAW 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 OCTOBER 2018」and seems to be the 「 DELPHIC 」of the group.「 SLATER」is a「 SENIOR」 and seems to enjoy 「 WRITING & PLAYING MUSIC 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

TW:  CHEATING, ABANDONMENT, PORN MENTION, DEATH, DRUGS

Anyways lemme give you some info about my man and try to keep it as short ( I lied ) as possible I’ll have some wanted connections at the end so hit me up to plot cause I live for that :) 

NAME: SLATER MALIH SAVALIA AGE: 23 MAJOR: PRE- LAW SENIOR @ LEX POSITION: A DADDY HOBBIES: givin 0 Fucks, living life to the full, writing, being an PI on his dad, spiting his family n causing problems as a FUCK U. BORN: LONDON, ENGLAND. SEXUALITY: A truE WILD BISEXUAL :”)

BACKGROUND: 

So Slater was born in London, England however when he was younger he moved around a lot with his parents until they settled in LA. Mainly for his dads business and his mum had previously lived there too.

His mum was a travel writer which explains why they traveled a lot, his father runs a few escort agencies + brothels ( nevada only we do it legal here )  and also started up his own pornographic production company / film studio in LA. it would probably now be one of the biggest in the world.  ( think vivid entertainment meets brazzers ) u know FILTHY RICH SHIT.

Both his parents were obviously away quite a lot, his dad ran so many businesses and hmm was hands-on lets say but the household was pretty calm when he was fairly young. his mum was super attentive and loving and just such an amazing role model and always wanted to take him with her to show him the world when she had to leave. i think he definitely was a mummas boy.

at about 8/9 however would’ve been when things kind of came crashing down for him. he really caught his dad cheating on his mum w/ one of the porn stars he hired from the studio. His dad would’ve really asked him NOT to tell him mum because it would break their family up. obviously, slater was like terrified of the chance of losing his family so he just pretended nothing ever happened.

he was so conflicted because he was keeping this huge secret and he had so much guilt but he didn’t wanna be the one to ruin things. Like his dad basically used him as a cover like expecting him to lie for him for a long time. it would’ve really eaten away at him. like it would’ve not been a one-time thing, but slater was in denial for sure.

i think one day slater would’ve slipped up in one of his lies for his dad and his mum ended up fighting out what happened and it was such a mess. it would've led to their divorce and god that was.. SOO messy. they defs didnt have a prenup and like the custody.

I think lowkey he was miserable being with his dad, he had so much resentment and sadness there. he would’ve been okay being with his mum the whole time.

His dad was really the type of parent that would use his kids against each his ex wife like they would use slater to pass on messages and being like no u can’t have him for that day etc etc And not taken slater into consideration.

his dad though really tried his absolute best to bring his mum down which was sooo sad to see, like watching her get put through the ringer by his dad and she just became a bit of a shell of who she was, because he obviously had more than enough money to do it and didn’t want her to see a dime of it even tho he.. RLLY BE LIVING THE HIGH LIFE.

slater would’ve just been back and forth between them both up until he was about 15 when his mum, unfortunately, passed away due to drugs. which was SO UNEXPECTED.  i think there was definitely a lot more to it, like she definitely was self-medicating to help go through the still pending divorce. which would’ve lasted years. 

anyways losing his mum devastated slater because truly she was like a best friend to him, she was. he always enjoyed the weeks at his mums more than his dad and now he knew he’d be stuck there.

he fights a lot with his dad still about everything that happened and what he did, he blames him for it and putting a LITERAL KID in the middle.

anyways though since the separation his dad had like a myriad of “ girlfriends” around who were probably all young enough to be like a step sibling tbh. he never took to any of them until his stepmom. who shockingly he actually really likes. shes one thing keeping his family together atm.

 Anyways as you can imagine slaters dads business was huge and his dad is truly raking in the money but slater has always felt uncomfortable spending or even benefiting off it which is why he’s extremely secretive considering he knows where it comes from and he doesn’t exactly support his dad let alone he doesn’t want to have to explain that to people and get them looking into his family.

his father has really tried and put up this front though as if he’s a huge family man now and is conservative and super religious and smh that pissed off slater to the max. he’s like that dont make no fucking sense..

 when he high school hit though they were going to country clubs all that shit slater hated basically. he truly didn’t mind acting out just to spite his dad knowing hey your a family man what are you gonna do about it??

this drove his dad so crazy and only meant more rules were put on him, it was about the only attention his dad gave him.

when hey fight though its really wild, you know slater throws it in his dads face basically just some fucking pimp and exploits people and he’s never gonna do that and he’d rather have nothing than follow in his footsteps

i think his dad has been fined multiple times for some shady shit going on in his businesses. plus its been common knowledge in the depths of the industry they heavily provide them w/ alcohol drugs etc. probably has had an issue with the treatment of the people hes hired. lawsuits.  there's more under the surface that even slater doesnt know.

there would’ve been a bit of a scandal where his dad employed one of his dumbass country club friends daughters aka someone even slater knew to star in one of his adult films

 but regardless like he knew he really was fortunate he lived an extremely privileged life, like he would be set for life, could sit do nothing and its good. he just never had a huge interest in it unlike his father who really always said that he would take over everything someday and it would turn into a huge family business. and he was like yikes someone come tell him.. no thanks. 

 His dad and him definitely had a rocky relationship after his moms death, he  didn’t parent very much and just left his stepmom in so many uncomfortable situations but honestly

 He saw her more as a friend though then a mum but she was the best parental figure he’s ever even had. She’d genuinely try so hard to make sure his dad was acting like one like telling him he’s going to his sons gigs or else even though slater knew his dad would come for 2 seconds to appease his wife then leave.

But growing up he’s always been super careful of who’s around him and who he lets into his life probably as a result of how secretive his family has always instilled in him to be.

 Like his dad keeps saying we’re family we come first, and he never wanted slater to be sharing that with people about what they did.

 But he has such a resentment to his dad, like he thinks he’s a mess he has a wife he doesn’t give a fuck about a son he doesn’t see, he does god knows what he just is so convinced he can’t turn out like him ever. 

I think people genuinely think he must not come from money because the amount of people who have ever met his parents or seen his house is a handful if that. 

Like he’s always hanging out at other people’s places and just he’s never been really extravagant unless its to purposely spite his dad yikes. that comes from anger.

Like he really got himself a job even though his dad said he could come work for him just cause he was like yeah I don’t want to run ur dumb company and make money off it u pos? 

His dad has definitely been investigated a few times for shady practices. slater definitely started looking into law for that reason, like he genuinely thought he wants to actually be able to put guys who screw the system and own huge corporations and think they can pay outta anything in jail.

meanwhile his dad thought great a lawyer who can defend our family business smh so he supports him He has no clue slater would rather take him down.

hes on the dl investigating his dad himself. who wanna help.

PERSONALITY

losing his mom AND one his best friends showed him that he needs to really do everything he wants to and in that moment which does make him selfish at times 

i think he has abandonment issues, i think like when  his best friend who was kinda the reason he came to lex, happened to pass away also triggered that again ( TBD WHY im leaving this open for plots ) and that really shook him all over.

he really almost feels cursed at this stage.

he was pretty sheltered tbh because his dad wasn’t trusting AT ALL and at first was homeschooled until High school so he didn’t exactly grow up outgoing or being able to have many people at his place or tell them about his life.

i think theres not many people who know he’s related to his dad business, even tho his dad business iS HUGE and legit is his last name. and hes like yeah ha coincidence right??? not my dad at all.

He’s super fucking blunt though like he may be secretive with his personal life but his ass does not hold back which has gotten him into way too many problems. 

He just feels like he grew up lying about so much, his dad was like we don't want people taking advantage of you if they find out who you are and use things against me.

 he hated that and all the secrets about his dad he kept so don’t expect him to hold back on feelings or thoughts back at all 

LOVES to spite and piss his dad off even if that means 30+ students at his dads place during a business meeting lets do it.

He acts a lot without thinking like he sucks at planning anything and a lot of time he seems a little flighty and that he doesn’t take things serious enough esp his relationships

.He’d really go above and beyond though for anyone who’s proven to him that they can be trusted like he’s been known to be all in he either gives it everything or nothing so he goes extravagant

will try everything once.

wild child tm.

 his ass was kinda like living it up. he’s like on the brink of i dont want to just use my dads money but he’s like if i am though i wanna use it to actually do something decent, like get a law degree and be something, travel like his mum did. hes obsessed with the thought of like following in her footsteps BUT HE. NEVER ADMITS IT.

feelings who are u?

 He’s definitely a realist and a little bit cynical too, like he’s seen way too much shit to really have some ideal look on life. 

He doesn’t believe in some fairytale or things just happen for a reason or really in fate or anything like that. 

Like he doesn’t think love fixes everything and someone can be your happiness at all . hes like clearly its only problems so.

He’s only ever really had one serious relationship and a bunch of other casual things but that was just nothing to him

 He’s not closed off to them but he picks and chooses what he gives, but he’s just doubtful how someone’s gonna mix well into his life 

He definitely seems aloof and a bit cold but I mean after a drink and 5 minutes he’ll be picking your brain on just about anything 

loves writing in general, usually lyrics and music though.

secretly Loves a good midnight dnm overlooking the water with a trusted friend

 Awesome at getting himself out of situations he can be pretty convincing lbr

lowkey has abandonment issues. 

connections: donnt say im trash i know.

extra drama - his STEP sibling. aka child of his step mom. 

his best friends sibling, aka the one who passed away :”(

someone whose mum dated his dad WILD.

A TABOO FLING OR CRUSH, basically he got with someone he shouldn’t of, we can decide reasons HOWEVER I’D LOVE if the other chara was the ex of his friend who passed away. HED FEEL LIKE SHIT for having feelings. the angst. and the we cant do this its wrong.

I mean... someone who actually WORKS FOR HIS DAD. i would die, could be an escort, a sex worker, someone who is signed to his dads production company, can be a pornstar or more like a cam star too.

someone who is a huge tease and rlly makes his ass beg to be with them. make him work for it honey.

ooo a really GOOOOD friend and they’ve always been “ platonic” but theres this weird sexual tension and they both know it, but like ooo it could risk the frienndship n makee it weird and like ugh.

like someone whose parents hates them hanging around w/ slater bc of his family, maybe bc they ran in the same circles from back home but they just.. cant stay away from each other.

someone hes kinda dated but they realised we’d be better off as friends even tho weve seenn each other naked, it was fun.

One of the people from back home that found out all about his entire family when the scandal was exposed. They could’ve been friends or enemies.

AN ex!! pls he defs has broken some hearts or THE ONE WHO BROKE HIS :) IF U DO THIS U WILL GET SO MUCH LOVE

An enemy Maybe someone against his family or someone he just can’t stand!

THE damn girl his fucking dad tried to employ to be in his damn movie! My ass would do wild shit for this one wild WILD SHIT.

unrequited love, someone's heart he broke without even realising it

A confidant someone he can really confide in tell-all his dumbass shit too, like his protective ass would really care for this person

Someone who’s into music as much as him pLS!! like someone who can just jam with him late nights

He needs that dnm kinda friend 😂

A fwb that’s self explanatory:)

RIDE OR DIES etc

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

ANYTHING IM SOOO OPEN FOR PLOTTING

[fluffyheretic]

I’m so fucking tempted to say “every single question with Kazushuu or Hitoshuu (except for the nsfw ones i guess)” But I don’t want to singlehandedly kill you

ok let’s do it

as a side note sometimes the answer is the same or similar for both ships just bc shuu is uh. the same person. but ofc not always

under cut for lengthhhh

1. Who makes the first move and how?

hitoshuu: normally im gonna say definitely hitori. he probably decides to be direct and just straight up ask. in iwasweetie au specifically tho i want it to be sweetie if only bc i need to make him get over his shit. he also asks “directly” but it actually involves a lot of stuttering and beating around the bush so it ends up not being very direct

shuukazu: im not sure if it would really be one of them specifically, i can see them as the “this kind of just happened” couple. maybe kazuaki is the one after several months whos like “so um… what are we…. lol………..”

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

hitoshuu: shuu, not that hitori is the paragon of confidence but shuus like “wtf hes the ideal young man and im Bastard Supreme but ok i guess”

shuukazu: BOTH LMAO but kazu is more vocal abt it and shuu is the Bottle Up EVERYTHING type

some good ol body positivity cuddle sessions work in both cases

3. Who is the most romantic?

anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what feelings ARE” reasons

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

again anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what intimacy IS” reasons but specifically hitori is just more confident and kazuaki isnt necessarily confident but is more just. shameless

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

not shuu for similar reasons as above. there’s a trend here, you see

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

THIS is a CHRISTIAN blog

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

hitoshuu: going to dinner at a place thats nice but not TOO nice. like good comfortable atmosphere and good food but not posh

shuukazu: they probably just wander around, maybe go shopping, kazuaki keeps pointing out stuff he wants and dr iwamine “i dont know what to do with my money bc i dont want for material things” shuu just buys it for him. shuu please stop enabling him. stop it.

8. What do they like in bed?

hitoshuu: cuddling :)

shuukazu: snuggling :)

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

i feel like shuu considers every single new couple-y thing he does to be the new most embarrassing thing he’s done. we’re holding hands? embarrassing. i kissed you? god now THATS embarrassing. you caught me wearing your sweater that you accidentally left at my place? well put me in the fucking ground thats literally the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to anybody. how dare i show sentimentality. despicable

kazuaki is similar in that he’s constantly one-upping himself and getting a NEW most embarrassing thing but his things include stuff like getting caught watching really strange anime and scream-singing pop songs and anime OPs in the shower

hitori probably like tripped on the sidewalk once

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

these questions are difficult bc man idk what media exists in 2188 bird japan

11. What do they hide from one another?

in both cases shuus answer is “just about everything” hes terrified of the mortifying ordeal of being known. pretty much everything you learn about him has to be squeezed out

hitori hides how troubled he really is because he wants to seem like the responsible one everyone can depend on so that they dont have to worry about him. he does his best to hide when hes struggling but since shuu has that exact same impulse they pretty quickly start to see through each other, but are also very understanding about it.

kazuaki probably doesnt have as much to hide but he might be shy about portraying how REALLY in love with shuu he is too soon because he doesnt want to scare him away. he also hides the weirder shows and games and stuff that hes into lol

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

hitoshuu: i can see them having that kind of relationship where at first its casual and almost competitive in a way, like a “i think youre sexy and the only thing i know to do about it is see what i can do to make you flustered, then act smug when i succeed” thing. but over time when the novelty of that starts to wear off they both kinda realize they just straight up like each other and start being more genuine and soft.

shuukazu: again its a similar thing with shuu where he starts feeling more comfortable with letting himself be a little more genuine and START opening up. kazuaki picks up on this as a good sign and starts to worry less about trying to impress shuu and more just enjoying their time together.

13. When do they realize they should get together?

this is another one that i think is a similar answer in both cases, at least for shuu’s part he has a “dammit. i cant lose him” moment. since hes a person of very few words he tries to communicate “i want us to be serious” via letting down his walls a little bit, which hitori/kazuaki hopefully notice is happening and then are like “oh maybe we can work”

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

for shuu and hitori its “responsibly take care of you, bc its what i should do but also secretly i get STRESSED AS FUCK when someone i care about is sick so i gotta make sure youre okay”

for kazuaki its “take care of you, although i dont really know what im doing, also i thought since youre bedridden we could cuddle but its not as enjoyable as i wanted so like I’m Here but also im gonna watch tv okay? ill get u crackers and ginger ale”

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

hitoshuu: shuu’s gonna say he doesn’t care, but hitori also doesn’t really care so eventually he’ll get shuu to admit that he’d like to watch a nature documentary. especially if it’s marine-themed. hitori likes that too so hey there you go

shuukazu: shuu WILL watch the 76th pokemon movie OR ELSE

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

hitoshuu: both are cutthroat bastards that do anything it takes to keep each other safe. their reliance and trust in each other is probably 99% of what keeps them going.

shuukazu: again shuus gonna do literally anything it takes to keep kazuaki safe, but to be real i dont know if kazuaki is making it out of this one. and if he doesnt then shuus not either.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

shuu’s answer is going to be at various points in prehistory to study organisms that are now long-extinct (side note god thats definitely my answer too). his bf is worried abt the dangers but comes with him to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.

i think hitori might not have anything specific in mind but going to historical sites in their heydays seems like a good choice.

since kazuaki likes literature he’d probably want to see historical stuff related to that, like seeing shakespeare plays when they first came out and meeting his favorite dead authors to ask them questions.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

hitoshuu: hitori doesn’t like to dance around that kind of thing, after a little time has passed for them to both think about it then he’ll just be direct and say “hey lets talk about that thing that happened” if he feels he was in the wrong then he’ll then follow that up with an apology. i can see hitori being a little grudgy but then quickly getting tired of it and just wanting things to be resolved. shuu hates talking things out because hes bad at it but he knows its best so he’ll just try to explain how he felt at the time but also what he’s considered since then. even if he’s not good at explaining himself, hitori is good at understanding him anyway so they usually work it out pretty quickly.

shuukazu: they can be messier since kazuaki gets really emotional really quickly and sometimes says things he doesnt mean. theyre both bad at dealing with it afterwards though until after a few awkward days, kazuaki cant take it and is like “waaa i dont want us to be fighting anymore 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” and shuus like “ok.” because yeah he’ll take the easy way out. they could probably improve their communication tbh

19. Where do they go on their first date?

hitoshuu: they probably decide to do something simple and casual to make it less awkward so they just get coffee. shuu feels like, from what he knows, that he should be expecting hitori to make a move on him. hitori doesnt because he wants to be considerate of shuus comfort level, but shuu takes it as a sign of disinterest. luckily shuu realizes hes wrong about that when hitori quickly invites him on Another date where they take a stroll in the park, and thats when hitori goes in for the tactical hand-hold maneuver.

shuukazu: kind of the opposite of hitoshuu in that they dont really declare it officially as a date. kazuaki just asks shuu if he wants to see a movie with him, not really calling it a date but kind of implying it to be one. shuu probably doesnt care about the movie but thinks this might possibly maybe be a date so he should go. kazuaki then uses it as a chance to Put On The Movies, as awkward as that might be, including the classic “stretch with my arms up and then let one down over your shoulders” move. shuu doesnt really know how to indicate his own interest in response but hopes the fact that hes also not complaining in any way gives a hint. despite it not REALLY being an official date at the time, later on theyll look back on it and decide that yeah that was their first date.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

shuu hates taking time off work, but if he must, then he’ll be content as long as theres something scientifically interesting there like a museum or an aquarium.

hitori doesnt really mind where they go, hes just grateful to get to go on holiday at all, so he’ll let shuu pick. and again, that’s going to be somewhere with a natural history museum, probably a very nice one and they’ll both enjoy it.

kazuaki is similar in that he’s just happy to be there but his ideal holiday destination is probably just…. akihabara. so shuu relents and goes there with him occasionally. kazuaki does like to visit aquariums with shuu though! they do both

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

hitoshuu: the cemetery, at least at first when they arent used to being that vulnerable in front of each other

shuukazu: well shuu sure as shit is nervous about going to anime cons with kazu

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

in both cases, definitely at one of their homes, because shuus too much of a wreck to have a moment like that in a public place.

for shuukazu, i picture it that theyre just hanging out at kazuakis place and relaxing, and they end up cuddling a lot, and kazuaki kisses him kind of impulsively. hes then very apologetic about it before shuu manages to assure him that its fine.

hitoshuu, maybe hitori walks shuu home after a date and goes for the classic end of date goodbye kiss, but just on the cheek. then when once again hitori has walked shuu home, shuu wonders if he should expect a real kiss this time, but hitori goes for the cheek again. shuus disappointed and grabs hitoris sleeve before he turns away because he doesnt know how to say he wants more. but hitori takes the hint and kisses him for real this time.

23. Where is their favorite place to be together?

in both cases it’s at home, because shuu finds it much easier to be intimate when they’re in privacy. i think all three of them really appreciate just getting to relax together.

24. Where do they first have sex?

what did i say about this being a christian blog

25. Why do they fight?

usually its because shuu said something a little too tactless. hes not so clueless that he’ll say something really obviously offensive, but sometimes he really doesn’t know what’s too much. but his bf is hopefully understanding of this and corrects him Still Firmly but still with some “but i know you didnt mean it like that, we’re okay” way, because chances are he really didnt.

for hitoshuu specifically, hitori has to be on shuu about eating properly and can sometimes get kind of annoyed about it. shuus kneejerk reaction is to then be offended because hes an adult who can take care of himself. but they calm down and make up when shuu remembers that hitori just worries for him, and hitori remembers that shuu doesnt not eat just to spite him.

for shuukazu, i can see kazuaki’s lack of responsibility and aloofness start to get on shuu’s nerves, and when he brings it up kazuaki thinks he’s just being mean. again, similarly to hitoshuu, they get over it when kazuaki reminds himself that shuu wants him to be able to take care of himself, and shuu reminds himself as well that he can be too abrasive and should work on it.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

hitoshuu: they dont have to right away but over time it would be good for them to be honest abt their respective traumas and the shit theyre dealing with instead of hiding it

shuukazu: similar, shuu should probably get around to being more open abt his shit. they might also want to have a talk abt what a serious relationship is gonna look like for them

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

hitoshuu: i answered this already! but again, its bc theyre so ~responsible~

shuukazu: ppl either see kazuaki being super clingy and think “man hes so overbearing, his poor partner 😒” or see shuu being emotionless and think “man theyre so cold, their poor boyfriend 😒” actually they gotta mind their own damn business

28. Why do they get jealous?

hitoshuu: i feel like hitori actually gets hit on a pretty decent amount. shuu is never happy about it, but the death glares he starts sending usually scare the person off anyway

shuukazu: both of them think the other is too good for them so if anyone looks at them with even a little too much interest the other is immediately like “well i guess this is it”

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

hitoshuu: little moments shuu loves is when hitori asks him how he is, how he slept. when he makes him dinner. hitori loves when shuu looks deep in thought, tucks his hair behind his ear, and he definitely likes to see him get along with nageki, which he does.

shuukazu: shuu loves when kazuakis eyes light up with excitement when he sees something he likes, especially when shuu realizes that hes one of those things too. he also loves kazuakis really nice hugs, especially when shuu just woke up from a nightmare. kazuaki loves how shuu listens to him intently, and asks questions about the things hes interested in, and sometimes rests his hand on him when hes getting tired.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

hitoshuu: both are important figures in each other’s lives, obv shuu helped nageki but also hitori is probably the first person to get even a little close to shuu after ryuuji died. theyre both just pockets of trauma but are doing their best so it would be good for them to support each other and try to heal. theyre both pretty dependable so when the going gets tough they’re each other’s rocks

shuukazu: theyre definitely the “it will never work” couple that ends up working anyway. shuu might think kazuaki is annoying at first but if ryuuji is any indication shuu definitely seems to gravitate towards people who are more chill and even a little silly, and when shuu realizes that kazuaki isnt as dumb as he makes himself seem that helps a lot. for kazuaki shuu definitely has a ~mysterious~ aspect that draws him in initially but when it wears off as he learns more about shuu, instead of the magic being gone he just starts finding him more relatable and endearing so their relationship actually improves.

[just-homo-thingsxd]

Confession (P.6)

"Wake up, big boy."

You looked up from the bed and saw Vlad. Shirtless on top of you.

"V-vlad!? What's gotten into you?"

Vlad leaned overtop of you. His chest against yours, and his face right in front of yours.

"You love me, right? Is this so wrong?"

You felt his hand slowly rub down your chest and belly as it grasped your shaft. Completely mesmerized you couldn't help but stare at him. He smirked and placed his finger below your chin. Lifting it up as he drew his lips closer towards yours. Before you could get that gratifying kiss everything went dark you heard some knocking that continued and a muffled voice.

"Hey, hey. (Y/n) Breakfast is ready!"

Your eyes opened to Vlads voice and a very obvious tent down below. You heard the doorknob jiggle and you quickly stood up and adjusted what was protruding in your boxers. Quickly losing your balance as you toppled over.

You were trying to get into the bathroom but now lay half naked in the middle of the room with a raging erection. Of course before you thought to say anything Vlad walked in. Seemingly unbothered by the sight of you.

"What are you doing almost naked on the floor?"

You put your chin on your arms. Propping yourself up and looking to him.

"Well you know. Falling out of bed trying to get to the bathroom. Your knocking woke me up and I was gonna head there real quick. Then be down for breakfast."

You tried to smile, but the blush on your face gave Vlad different thoughts.

"Right... Well, take your time and come down whenever. I left some extra towels in the bathroom and I can lend you some clothes if you need them. Though they might be a little baggy on you."

You thanked him and he waited for a moment for you to get up. After not budging for a moment he closed the door and went back downstairs. Finally able to pick yourself up you head to the bathroom and took a brisk shower.

Deciding to rub one out since your dream left you excited, and being abruptly ended. You could only imagine about those thick hands touching you again. Rubbing up and down everywhere, and the thought of them handling your rear and even more is what drove you over the edge. You sat for a moment, quickly washed yourself once again and got out of the shower and dried yourself off.

In the sink were some of Vlad's clothes. A red T-shirt some black sweatpants and an old pair of boxers. You figured they were old by the fainting coloration around the crotch region. You stared at it for a moment. You knew you weren't gonna get a chance like this and you brought it up to your nose... Smelled like detergent. What a shame.

After getting dressed and heading downstairs you practically followed your nose to the kitchen. Vlad was at the table with a piece of bacon in his mouth. He looked up to you and quickly gobbled it down.

"I was gonna wait for you, but it seemed something was holding you up in the shower. So I was gonna sneak in a few bites, haha."

He rubbed the back of his head and motioned for you to sit. You did so and after thanking him you began to chow down. Scrambled eggs and bacon was for breakfast and you couldn't have been happier. Once you both finished you stood once again, but this time Vlad guided you back to your seat.

"Let me handle it this time, alright? It's not a big deal."

He spoke and you obliged to his request though you still wanted to help him out. He was right. His clothes were rather baggy on you. You had more lean muscle than anything else. You were small in comparison to him as his muscles certainly made him thick. After a few moments of thought he finished cleaning the dishes and you both head to the living room and sat on the couch. You looked to him, blushing slightly.

"Hey.. could you, hold me like you did last night again? It was very comforting.."

Without saying anything you were hoisted onto his lap and held against his chest. Your back was pressing into it and occasionally his breath would hit your neck, sending a slight shiver down your spine. He wrapped both his arms around you, and pressed his forehead into your back. He spoke rather softly.

"Thank you again for being so open with me. It makes me happy you trust me enough to tell me something like that, and I want you to know it wont leave my lips. That is a promise."

Your eyes quickly shut as they started to burn. You had believed that was something wrong with you your entire life. Ever since you were young and your father made it sound like you were a freak you had always believed it. Yet deep down you always knew it was apart of you, and nothing could change it. Isolation became your only way to cope, and even still. You met Vlad by a freak accident and here he was treating you like.. like a person, an actual human. He turned you around on his lap and rubbed the tears that were now streaming down your cheek with his thumb. Your eyes opened and were met a with the most genuine and warmest smile.

You felt that same throb in your heart.

He ran his hand up your cheek and moved a little closer. He seemed hesitant, and you placed a hand on his cheek as well to reassure him it was alright.

Within seconds his lips softly pressed against yours. Your eyes shut and your heart fluttered. You couldn't believe what you were doing with him. Unsure if he was even interested in you, though he was kissing you so there had to be interest.

After what seemed minutes he slowly split the kiss, and his eyes opened as did yours. For your first kiss it was certainly something you wouldn't forget. Vlad couldn't stop smiling and he buried his face into your neck happily.

"I'm happy we kissed, you're just so damn cute it's been hard to resist as of late. You know, you dont hide your feelings very well."

Your arms clung around him and pulled him closer.

"W-well. I haven't ever had feelings like this. I'm not sure how to handle it."

He quickly left your neck and locked eyes with you intensely.

"Was that your first kiss?!"

When you nodded he grinned once more and he leaned into you. Pushing you down on the couch so he could lean over you. Now sitting on your lap he looked down to you with his arms crossed. Giving you a great view of his biceps as well as his thighs and belly. He was toned all over, and with him sitting on a certain area you quickly had to avert all your attention to something else. Anything else at this point. You noticed his dog walking around and hopping up into a nearby chair where he spun around and laid down.

"Oh hey! Theres your dog, what's its name?"

Vlad could easily tell you were changing the subject and placed his finger on the side of your cheek. Bringing your attention back to him. Your face lit up as he leaned over you. His hands holding your arms down as he drew closer to your lips once more.

"You're more interested in my dog than me? I'm hurt (Y/n) if you really must know.."

You cut him off quickly

"I'm far more interested in you, but with you on top of me I was worried about.. well you know."

He cocked an eyebrow at you and smirked.

"Oh? What is it that you're so worried about? I'm just a big guy sitting on your lap. What is there to worry about?"

You bit your lip, frustrated from his teasing. He knew exactly what you were worried about, but feigned ignorance. You took a deep breath through your nose and quickly raised your head sideways and planted a kiss on his cheek, gave a wink then used your quirk to break free from his pinning. You went over to the chair by his dog who seemed rather unbothered by this.

"Teasing me like that, how could you?"

He spoke as he stood up and walked slowly towards you. You were going to protest, but he ran at you and scooped you up. Now cradling you like a baby.

"You aren't going to leave me again are you?"

He returned that kiss in full, plus interest. Now expecting the softness of his lips his canines were rather apparent, though you didn't mind. You had always found them pretty cute. You were pulled from your thoughts as something just as soft as his lips hit your own. You knew what it was and opened your mouth slightly as his tongue found its way slightly into your mouth. His grip on you tightened and he ran his hand up and down your chest and stomach. Before he lifted up your shirt and did the same only now your body felt 10x more sensitive. Even the gentlest of touches like this one made your body quiver in affection. His tongue left your mouth, although you certainly wouldn't mind it coming back and soon all that remained from the kiss was a single saliva strand connecting the two of you. With your mouth still open in shock and want he used his finger to break it and put said finger in your mouth, not going deep enough to warrant a gag but definitely enough to where you instinctively shut your lips around it. There was no hiding your erection in his arms, and with what he'd been doing he surely expected it at this point. After a moment of sliding his finger in and out of your mouth he finally let it out fully and gave a slight smirk.

"You really like my finger, huh?"

That bastard. You knew what he was doing, but you couldn't say no. You simply shut your eyes and nodded slightly. This pleased him, getting you to admit to him something rather dirty. He cupped your chin with his thumb and index finger and forced you to face him eye to eye. Your eyelids were now open staring into his gorgeous optics. He smiled and sat back down on the couch. You still cradled in his beefy arms. Not that you were complaining.

"You certainly liked that alot. You were rather excited I see."

You buried your face into his chest in an attempt to hide your embarrassment, once again you stayed quiet and only nodded against his burly body. He laid down and you laid atop of him. His arms still wrapped around you but giving you freedom to move around a bit. Your pitched tent now pressing against his own crotch. You couldn't help but move your hips a bit as you felt a slight throb come from his own. Clearly despite his calm, seductive exterior he was also having the same thoughts and feelings. Though embarrassed at what you were feeling you looked up to him and he was simply staring down at you with a gentle expression. Arms behind his head.

"Feel free to explore me, though this time. I wont be flipping over so you're limited to my front."

He gave a wink that made your heart flutter. Anything this man did made your body react in ways you couldn't believe were possible. He had so much control over you.. yet he never once made it feel that way. Even now, he's giving you free reign over his body. It was such an odd feeling, this overwhelming happiness.

Ever so slightly you ran your hands against his thick chest. Though his pecs were very firm you could easily squeeze and grope them, and they allowed it with minimal effort. Vlad let out a grunt as you did so as his eyes shut. Your crotches still pressed together you felt a twitch from down below while you crossed his nipples. Since his arms were already up you easily slipped off his shirt and rested your head between his pecs as your hands traveled between and over his abs. Even rubbing up his sides which made him shiver. Deciding now would be a good time to see, you lowered your head to his nipple and gave a quick lap with your tongue. His body tensed up but quickly relaxed after, earning yet another grunt from the man himself. You took it one step further and took a gentle bite at one. His body twitched all over and he let out a deep, but approving moan. His eyes still shut but you could still tell he was enjoying this. With lust filling your head you simply wanted more of him. You licked up and down his chest. Kissing his neck. Hell, even stuffing your face into his armpits just to get more of his scent. Everything about him was attractive.

"You certainly like teasing me, dont you? I'm not mad in the slightest but you've ignored something rather important. Haven't you?"

His arms came down and his hands roughly landed against your rear. Grasping your cheeks firmly he spread them and pushed into you. His breathing was heavy and deep. All of it hitting your neck.

"I'm a patient man, but with so much teasing I'm not sure how much longer I can wait."

His grip loosened and his demeanor changed almost in an instant.

"Of course, I would never force you. Though you're just so adorable. Like a little puppy, just exploring. That's why I dont mind waiting for you to finish up."

He instantly drew you close once more and kissed you deeply. One hand was on the back of your head while the other rubbed your bottom.

"Let's head to my room, dont have any free sheets for the couch. Plus, itll be more intimate. Which is what we both want, right?"

You didn't want to stop, even if it was only for a moment but you understood his concern and got up off of him. Heading up to his room once he led the way.

To be continued....

[taevcngs-blog]

best mistake - taeyong

Genre: Short Series; Fluff. [bad boy, thief, taeyong au!]

Word Count: 3K

Summary: You lived in a world full of books, while he lived in a world full of you.

While you worked in your towns local bookstore, you meet with a thief. He attempts his mischievous ways until you catch him. Sparing his life from the police, you two make a deal, but what you both don’t know is that the deal ends with a plot twist that you’ve only ever read about in books.

A/N: tbh i could of done better with part two, but i have another series in mind and i think that one will be way better than this! anyways thank you for the support and if you liked any bit of this, i appreciate it!

part one | part two

Usually your afternoons consisted of pages, cash and Johnny’s corny jokes between customers. This afternoon was different. This time you felt like you were babysitting, babysitting a grown adult. You managed to convince your boss to hire Taeyong since you needed more workers anyways. You let Johnny know that Taeyong was a close friend of yours, somehow Johnny knew something was a bit odd. He didn’t question you though, but he kept his eye on Taeyong most of the time.

“This… This is the most boring job I’ve ever had, and trust me I’ve gotten fired from a lot of jobs,” Taeyong sighs, resting his head behind the counter.

“Yeah well, keep that head of yours up. You owe me one, remember?” You roll your eyes, stocking the little goodies displayed by check out.

“How can I forget when you practically choked me to death by my hood,” he grumbles.

You squeeze your eyes shut, containing the annoyance bubbling up in you. You grit through your teeth, “I have a hunch we won’t be getting along well, Taeyong.”

He pouts, defensive and taken back, “yeah well start acting like you do before your boyfriend realizes we aren’t really friends-“ before he could continue snapping, you smack his head with one of the items in your hand.

“Ah!” He rubs the mark on his head, glaring at you.

“Could you be any louder?! And what boyfriend are you talking about?!” You angrily whisper.

“Aren’t you and Jackson over there an item?” He nods his head towards Johnny’s direction.

Rolling your eyes you shake your head, “Johnny, is my coworker and close friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Got that, airhead?” You walk away from him before your temper got any worse. You could of sworn you heard him mutter something, but you just brushed it off and continued your usual job.

When lunch time came around, you usually spent that time across the street. There was a great cafe that served amazing warm sandwiches with their drinks. Their tables outside were never dirty, and the service was amazing. Majority of your lunches took place at this cafe as you read your books while enjoying your meal. This time you were writing in your journal, hoping that you would somehow find inspiration at one of your favorite places. Taking a sip from your mug, you look out the glass screen you sat beside, watching the people walk to wherever they needed to. You ignored the bell that rang as another customer walked in.

You can’t help it, it’s still on your mind and you know it. The concept of romance. Most importantly what is romance? Why do you want to write about it so badly if you can’t even understand it. So, the thought came to you; write down anything that makes your heart skip. In order to understand love, you have to feel it. You decided even the small things count, so let's start now.

Continuing to peacefully look out the window, you decide to jot down things that make your heart flutter, even a mental note to yourself if possible. You thought about peoples eyes. You think they say a lot about them, and their expressions. you can almost see someone's thoughts through their eyes and that’s what made them so important to you. You loved humor, if you could joke around with someone, then they automatically made you comfortable. You happen to notice a couple holding hands while passing by. They where everything you always read about when it came down to romance, it was very easy to tell when others are in love, but could it be easy for you to know when you are?

You felt a presence next to you, causing you to look away from the window. You notice Taeyong smiling at you while he has a coffee in his hand along with a few cookies. He looked a bit hesitant, but you figured he just didn’t want to make the interaction anymore awkward.

“Uh hey, I saw you sitting here alone and I thought you might use the company, unless I’m like wrong or something,” He slowly sits down across from you, trying to find any signs of annoyance.

You sigh, deciding to give him a chance, “yeah, I was just finishing up. I thought your lunch break wasn’t till later?” You ask.

“Johnny kind of let me off the hook since I’m new,” he takes a sip of his coffee, eyes wandering to your opened journal. His eyes lightly skim it, noticing some sentences you had written down.

“Are you a writer?” His brow lifts.

“You seem to have a few ideas written down there,” he smiles, interested.

You quickly shut the journal, clearing your throat. Your eyes quickly wander around you out of embarrassment, avoiding eye contact with Taeyong.

“I don’t know if I’ll call myself a writer, but I do write from time to time for fun,” you clear your throat.

You were giving off to much awkward vibes. Just relax, it’s just Taeyong, you thought. Just another person who needs to take responsibility for his mistakes. Remember, he’s a troublemaker.

“Well, if you’re writing and love to do it then you’re a writer. I’m sure you’re a great one too,” he smiles at you again, his smile bigger than before, genuine and warm, his eyes smiling just as much.

Smiles.

You notice how he took child-like sized bites of his cookies, looking out the window so innocently. It was almost mind blowing to you that this is the same man with piercings, bright hair and edgy clothes. It was pure irony to you. His bad boy style completely contrasted to the innocence he portrays in his personality.

Never judge a book by its cover.

You smile back at him, “we still have some time left before we have to go back. So mister trouble maker, tell me more about yourself. Other than snooping and stealing, what else do you do for fun? What type of person are you, really?”

He rolled his eyes, a bit annoyed at your last comment but continued to answer. He gets comfortable in his booth, leaning more into the table. His hands are folded together, his head turning back to the window and watching everything happening from the outside.

“Other than being a laid off worker... I like to dance. If I’m not working, studying or even hanging out with some friends, I’m most likely dancing,” He sighs, but this time it wasn’t out of annoyance, almost like he needed this, he needed someone to talk to.

“I grew up in a pretty, uh, weird household,” he says, a questioning tone in his voice.

“Everyone around me had been going into our family business. I was always different though. My family liked numbers when the only numbers I liked where dance numbers. I was always the family “drama” kid. I still don’t know why I’m different, however I don’t hate it. My dancing elevated to something bigger when I met my best friend, Yuta. He entered my Uni after moving from Japan, and we just clicked. We help each other with our dancing, and now we’re in a dance group. We want it to grow and create our own movement, something big and incredible…” He starts losing track, once he notices he clears his throat and sits back a bit.

“Anyways, I study at Uni hoping that it can impress any company. I could go to my parents for that, however I want to be independent. If I’m going to succeed, I want it to come from my hard work not from theres. The only reason why I went to them is for school loans but they got tired of my constant begging, and threw me out unless I follow the steps of the rest of my family. Now, I’m here working for a bookstore I did wrongly of, talking to a girl who thinks I snoop for fun,” he says the last part lightly, jokingly as if it’s just air, but something about it just hits you.

After listening to his story, you grew a soft spot for him. Maybe you pitied him, felt bad for all he has to go through. Maybe, you just relate to him too much and completely understand where he’s coming from, desiring to help him out. You return with a soft smile, sincere and thoughtful. He could tell by your eyes, and you could tell by his.

Determination.

Strength.

A motivator.

“I’m sorry for misjudging you,” you apologize, breaking the silence.

“Its okay, I honestly don’t blame you. You seem like a strong independent person, I admire that,” he gives you that same smile. The same expression he’s been giving you since he found you. It was soft, it was safe. It made you feel warm, but you figure it’s just nothing.

Before you could respond you check your phone, realizing you’re going to be late to your shifts.

“We’re gonna be late, we should go now!” You grabbed your things, throwing out your leftovers in the nearby trash.

“What about your story?” He asks, throwing his leftovers away too.

You grab his hand, rushing each other out the cafe, “my story can wait, I’m an open book, trust me I have no secrets to hide.”

Warmth.

He looks at you while you guys charge back to the store. His eyes lower to the grip you still have on his hand. Something about this makes him smirk. Taeyong felt like he could get used to this now. You were honest, driven, and responsible yet a complete mystery. He admired your skills, and something told him that maybe he wouldn’t hate this job as much as he thought he would.

The rest of your day became extremely weird after your talk with Taeyong. Weird as in your day consisted of constant stares from Taeyong’s way, finding yourself staring back. Whenever you guys bumped into each other, it became really awkward and you kept finding excuses to leave his side. This was noticed a lot by Johnny as well, which ended up with him giving you a talk on how you should be more open with him if you have a crush, however that conversation ended real quick after cutting him off and denying the fact you felt something for Taeyong.

Connection.

This time the store was closing, and Johnny had already left. Your boss depended on you to lock the place up after cleaning. You thought Taeyong would leave with Johnny, but rather he insisted on cleaning up shelves, probably to make up for the messes he made.

After you finished counting the money in the cash register, you rest, laying against the counter and sighing.

“You look... dead,” Taeyong appears in front of you, dusting off his hands and chuckling.

“I’m going to knock out once I get home,” you groan.

“You’re tired already? Awe man, I was hoping you would finally tell me your story,” Taeyong pouts.

You raise a brow at him, “is that why you stayed here all this time, to just listen about my life?”

He nodded like a puppy, sending a weird feeling to your heart.

You clear your throat, “well aren’t you special.”

“Come on, I’m sure the boss wouldn’t mind if you stayed around a bit longer. No one is going to come in anyways,” he jumps onto the counter, causing you to jump at how close he was to you.

Giving up, you lean forward and nod your head. If you were going to spend any time with him might as well take advantage of the time you currently have.

“Well Lee Taeyong, my life is… Uh, kind of similar to yours? Literature runs in my family, it always has. Whether its being a poet, an author, an english teacher, literature has always just been there. When I’m not at school or working here, I’m usually home writing short stories? Journal entries? Articles? I don’t know exactly what they are yet, but I do know I just write whatever comes to my mind. It’s really therapeutic to me. As much as I love reading and writing, I’m not too sure if that’s what I want to do. I see it more as a hobby rather than a lifestyle,” You stare into space, thinking about the many times you’ve thought about this without telling anyone.

A listener.

Patience.

Care.

“I want to travel, write about my adventures. Now that… that seems like fun to me. A job where I can travel wherever I want to go to, and write about my experiences. I know there’s many jobs that do that, but I haven’t finished school yet, and I kind don’t know if I can handle doing that alone. Besides, Johnny and I don’t have a big friend group, which is probably because I’ve always been focused on building a carrier rather than building a social life. I thrive for success in where I’ll be stable, happy, able to support my family. I guess I’ve never realized how much I needed to build my own source group of friends in order to make that happen. Now I’m here, always have been working here. I see a lot of people from my college here, I just don’t know them well enough. What I do know well is, practically every book in this store. I know what a good plot is, a perfect storyline. I learned a lot about writing through these authors which is why I cherish this cheap job a lot,” you smile, looking up at Taeyong with bright eyes.

Reassuring eyes.

His eyes were soft, completely into your words. He understood you, admired you, read you well. He feels comfortable around you. It hasn’t been a long time, but he feels connected to you in which he has never felt before with anyone else. His past relationships haven’t been near this feeling he holds in his heart right now. Especially when you smile while talking about your passions, pout when you’re tired, and express yourself better than any book anyone could pick up.

Realizing he’s been staring, he blinks rapidly, coming back to earth, “I might not dislike you after all Y/N, perhaps you’re kind of cool.”

“Perhaps you’re not bad yourself, Taeyong,” you chuckle, noticing how much darker its gotten outside.

“Oh shit, it's getting dark. We should really lock up,” You remove yourself behind the counter, putting your jacket on and grabbing the keys.

Meanwhile, Taeyong was still sitting there, watching you in awe. He’s never started liking someone within the same week of meeting them, yet you just had a grasp around his heart. After watching you get ready, he jumped off the counter leaving with you.

“I guess this is where we say goodbye till tomorrow,” You finish locking up, standing outside the doors with him.

“Would you mind if I walked you home? It can be really dangerous around this time, I wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you,” He stuffs his hands in his pockets nervously.

Safety.

Protection.

“I-I actually would really love the company,” Your smile gave Taeyong the confirmation that all he needed was you by his side right now.

The walk back to your apartment was probably the best memory you will ever cherish. You got to know Taeyong more, and he got to know a lot more about you as well.

Someone who you can create and cherish memories with.

The feeling you both got around each other was incredible. You thought you only read about these type of feelings in fiction. The type of fiction that becomes so popular that they turn into hit movies. The type of stories that leave you dreaming, or the type of poems that only a romantic could only relate to. This feeling was greater than any stanza, any sentence, any metaphor you could possibly create. He was a motivator, a listener. He was the balance you’ve been searching for. Someone who can dream with you and someone who gives your world the best chapters any story can ever have.

The way someone looks at you before realizing they’ll have to spend a second without you.

“I guess this is it,” your frown deepens when you realize you’re home.

The sparks when someone touches you.

Taeyong grabs your hands, inching closer to you. His eyes wander all over you; from your eyes, your nose and your lips. An obvious blush grows upon his pale face.

When one look can say a thousand words.

“Y/N… I don’t know if your story involves an amazing sidekick, but if you don’t mind… I would love to take you out one day. I would love to experience more with you, learn more about you, be apart of that story you picture…”

Knowing that one person can change everything about you any time, any place.

“What I’m trying to say is- what I’m trying to ask is, may I take you out on a date? Can I have a chance? I know from a lot of peoples perspective, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but if snooping was the biggest mistake I’ve made then it's certainly the best mistake I’ve ever experienced,” His facial expressions are forced into confidence, only deep down is filled with fear. Fearing more rejection.

Butterflies constantly fluttering in the pits of your stomach.

When was the last time you ever smiled this hard? When was the last time you decided to give anyone a chance? This was your life, your future and it’s time for you to start making changes. It’s time for you to open yourself up to more people, accepting these feelings you’ve been suppressing. This was your chance, and  Taeyong was your chance to grow, to love. So you accepted his offer, being the giddiest you have ever been in your life. This was your new chapter, and now things are becoming clearer.

With his excitement jolting through his body, he leans in close to you, planting a gentle yet longing kiss on your forehead. He pulls you in a hug, warming your body and importantly, warming your heart.

Late night exchanges.

This was just the start of building a better future, only you two wouldn’t be facing it alone anymore. Your thoughts then started to make sense to you, it was never about learning about love, it was about building it, experiencing it. That was the missing piece of your plot.

Before he could walk away, in hopes of it becoming the next day already, he turns around to stare once more.

His scent still attached to you, you wave your hand in the air, “just know this won’t get you off the hook, Lee Taeyong!”

“Whatever it takes to spend more time with you, Y/N!” He chuckles while walking away, off to a new beginning, a new chapter.

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 10 - "I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style" ~Amy

Colin survived omg omg. I went on call with him after tribal council and I smoothed things over with us. So I'm like the only person he's not hating right now. Also I literally told Colin everything. I told him exactly what happened which is so awkward if anyone finds out I tolf him that they all backstabbed him. Also Elle cannot be trusted!! Why would she do this? She's probably working with Colin and at this point I'm ok with voting off Elle. She really backstabbed the entire plan. Also Elle's idol is gone so it would be easy. BUT, we need to rid of the advantages that remain. There's not any time to get off people I don't trust. We need to expose every last idol we can. Also I know Brayden has an idol and I'm working with him but I might have to backstab that guy because if he makes it to final tribal council with an idol that will be big on his resume. Honestly Brayden will be seen as the most popular social player so that will look really good compared to me. So I might have to backstab my best friend before the time runs out. 

Wtf was that tribal. Literally besides Colin, the only person left out of the vote and lied to by my own partner. Just when i thought things were looking up for me in this game, the rug gets pulled from underneath me again. I literally dont feel like i can trust any of them but for the sake of playing nice, I have to pretend that everything is fine and be a fake bitch for a day or two. Ugh 😑

I understand Colin is probably really upset and hurt because he felt personally close with me, but I don’t understand why my reasons for not saving him weren’t valid. When he tried to save Dennis, it rubbed HIMYM the wrong way and I didn’t want to betray 5 people for 1 person the same way he did that because it’s what gave everyone distrust. He said he didn’t tell anyone about HIMYM until after he heard his name, but that’s a lie as Josh and Jay both heard of it by round 8. I said that and then he said “well that’s still one person”. It’s more than one and even then, one person is one person. You gave us a reason to distrust you and that’s why you were targeted. I never told anyone about his SWP because I didn’t want to give him a reason to tell others I’m not trustworthy or for him to target me with. Ultimately, of course I knew Jay wasn’t going to send me out, but there was a real concern that Babs had an idol and that between me and Anastasia, I would go. So yeah, my concerns were indeed valid as it could’ve gone to a point where I go. I really want immunity this round. So bad. But if it’s not me I’ll be ok with my allies having it. But please I want immunity!!! 

[this was earlier, but put it wherever✨] Sooooo so much drama these days, I used to be in an alliance with Jay, Brayden, and Anastasia but they're all in a megasix alliance except Jay is relatively new bc they swapped him out for Colin recently, Jay is completely in Jodi's pocket and RIP honestly bc I was hope our little Corn Tribe (we're both from Ohio lol) would make it far, Colin and I are firmly allies now and we have an alliance with Amy (who is currently Colin's no. 1 ally and I respect that she risked it all for him lol understandable) and are goin to make another one with Josh. Josh and I are allies and I trust him a lot partially bc ppl lied to him almost as much as ppl lied to me and Colin and being at the bottom is a good way to know your allies are true, they have little to gain 😂 oh and Brayden and Anastasia and I are still "allies" and idk Jay hasn't talked to me yet sooooo let's see what happens there!

I accidentally said that Josh was on the bottom out loud when I was answering him for the question who doesnt deserve to be here. Omg I literally ruined our relationship. I am sooo stupid. I literally told him i was sorry and he said K. Ok but he is on the bottom. Obviously he doesn't need me as an ally and that whole side has a plan. Omg Im ready to be blindsided lol. But also maybe dont vote out me. Josh really isnt that forgiving is he? That is crazy to me. I wouldve pretended to forgive at least. Now I feel even more awful because he never said he forgave me. Pain. Anyways I screwed up and now I'm just praying Josh doesn't gun after me now. But I did tell Josh the whole truth and apologized genuinly about the situation. Oh god I hope he doesnt hate me. I dont even want him as a jury vote I just cant take anyone hating me or disliking me. It makes me want to throw up. But I deserve to feel this way since I emberassed him infront of everyone i am so so stupid. Anyways time to plan who to get out. OMG JOSH JUST TEXTWD ME "It's fine Im on the bottom. My feelings dont matter" WHAAATTT OF COURSE HIS FEELINGS MATTWR I CANT BELOEBE IHURT HIS ACTUAL FEELINFA I AM SO STUPID WTF I AM AWFUL I WILL GO APOLOGIZE MORW NOW GOODBYE

it appears either jodi or jared are going tonight, and although they’re my allies, i selfishly don’t care. I’ll still be in the game, so that’s nice i suppose. I love jodi, but she’s paranoid and it’s a whole deal trying to work with her, if she got voted out i could maybe get some sleep every once in awhile. I love her to death, but frankly whatever happens tonight as long as it ain’t me I don’t really care. Hell, even if it is me, then whatever lol, I can get caught up on sleep then. Frankly this is where the game gets ugly, and i’m cool with staying out of the drama. it still sucks that josh hates me though, i genuinely like him, and i feel like he doesn’t want to be my friend beyond the game anymore. To me, i’m going to keep doing me. I’m gonna chill, i’m gonna relax, and i’ll play when i feel like it. My mental health is important, so even if i’m not playing as hard as others, it’s just a game. If i lose, i will not lose any sleep over it. 

DAMN last tribal really killed the vibes in the game. no one wants to talk. everyone is scared of stuff getting leaked or turning on people. BUT ON THE FLIP side that means everyone is flipping on everyone SOMEHOW amy managed to escape unscathed. They have NO idea she's in with us and with them. She's telling us everything. it's actually insane to watch her do it. Truly international superspy behavior.   We have our numbers and they have theirs. They made another majority alliance except they replaced me with Jay. Whatever, expected. its fine. I truly did not talk much to people before the challenge, I just laid back and let Amy gather information for us. The immunity challenge was absolutely crazy good for us. Elle winning immunity is perfect, and the fact they GAVE AMY the other immunity is also amazing, a testament to how much they do trust her. THEN THIS IS WHERE THINGS STARTED GETTING EXCITING so I still have my handy chaos idol. I was thinking about numbers and I came to the realization that we could get Jodi cirie'd out this tribal. Their side is splitting votes on Josh and I, and there's four of us. If we vote the other 4 people in that alliance and then play the chaos idol, it leaves Jodi the only one without a vote and she's automatically out. It was a huge risk but I brought this plan to Josh, Amy, and Elle. because of the touchy subjects it made me truly feel that I could trust my allies right now. I was voted "Who is your closest ally" and I'm almost certain it was those three that put me down. That means I can trust them with this plan. (I hope). Elle, however, brought up the very good point that Jodi might be idoled, it's very obvious for us to go after her. SO we also decided that we should leave no votes on Brayden and then theres a revote between the two. SO TLDR THE PLAN RN: play chaos idol and coordinate votes so there's a revote between Jodi and Brayden. Also we're telling everyone else our plan is to vote Jared, that way it's not too obvious we have shit up our sleeve. there is the prospect of them splitting the vote 3-3 and then we don't even need to use the chaos idol, we just have the numbers. The other option is they put all 6 votes on one person and then we do have to play it. Thats why its so good we have Amy as our inside source telling us everything that's going on with them. so yeah right now we're still playing it by ear. not a lot of people are online and available to we're just waiting to get it all sorted out. Updates soon! uwu

Hahahahaha omfg so after we yeeted out of last tribal and then elle used their idol apparently anastasia and jodi changed their vote to Babs so they still went home and we kept Colin's idol. We jumped back on the tribe call and it was only host Jay and Raffy left lol like we were ready for a tribe fight! But I think it turned out better because I am still getting all the info in the group. Touchy subjects was interesting and almost exposed us bc colin and jodi tied for closest allies lol which I'm sure it was like 3-3-whatever. But she said I'm the group maybe it was like 2-2-1s. So that's a relief. However. Everyone is being really quiet with me and our brayden - jodi - me alliance is silent. I'm concerned they think it is me who's leaking but from what I can tell jodi (and thus anastasia, brayden,jay, and jared automatically) believe it was elle who leaked the plan to vote colin. So idk how but I'm in the clear. I'm just waiting to be found out bc I'd be an easy vote out. BUT I think they believe I'm still with new himym because brayden chose to give me immunity in touchy subjects!! And elle got first out!! So we are both safe and the current plan for Jodi's group is to tell Colin josh and elle they are splitting but they will put all votes on josh so that colin flushes his idol. Except lol it's a chaos idol. And if that's the case colin wants me to vote him ☠️ but it actually keeps him safe so I'll do it. I would just hate for the chaos idol to be fake. I think I know where all remaining advantages are except the idol I think Jared has lol. So for the break down brayden has an idol he believes is real but is fake and he is not telling anyone in the group or jodi or me so as much as I like brayden I can't wait to see him play it and it's fake. Then Colin has Dennis's chaos idol and one more regular idol. I have the merge idol and a steal a vote. That leaves only jared's idol that we might be able to flush this go if they actually believe jared is the target from Josh elle colin. But if they don't we can leave votes off jared and jodi and we can vote out the unplayed idol or vote jodi out and her minions have to regroup. My biggest concern has been josh bc he really seems to not like me ☠️ and here I am risking it all to keep colin, elle, and josh in the game lol. So now colin elle and I have a three. Colin filled them in and they trust me. And we waited until josh calmed down bc he was really mad that I cut his rope in the challenge. Unfortunately I knew that he wasn't winning bc he's at the bottom, none of them were giving him immunity, and I needed to keep up the facade that I was with them 100% so I was guessing like everyone else on the most allies even though I knew it would be colin lol. So now colin has talked to Josh and josh knows about the chaos idol so I just hope he's 100% with us. Because if we play this right it's 4-4. And then I'm gonna have to reveal to them I have a steal a vote lol they might be upset I didn't tell them before but I've never said I didn't have anything (except to jodi whoops). Also now jodi is thinking worst case like wants me to say I'll vote out anastasia if it's a revote and also at 6. I was like "oh I'm a revote? I got you" as in if vote you out sorry girl. Listen I know I'm not winning and I know I'm not getting to the end because it would be stupid to take me at this point. I'm literally a double agent secret spy lol. However the entire jury WILL despise me but all I could hope is they respect the moves I made. But it seems like a lot of people in this game take things very personal so I really think it would be a completely bitter jury against me not that I'm getting there. I kind of don't want to use my steal a vote at 8 and hope they still think I'm with new himym because then we could simply idol where their vote is and I keep steal a vote for 6 and my idol for 5 and I'm golden lol 😂. And here I was gonna hard quit the game lol. I mean tbh they could just vote me here... Wait lol I'm immune jk thanks. Literally i think Babs is indifferent and dennis did like me but his vote would still go to colin. But if I was in f3 IMAGINE the story of have to tell lol and convince them all. It's the struggle of playing more behind the scenes but I really think someone is going to leave the info. I hope josh stays quiet until 7 when we should have numbers. Anyway all of this to say I wanted to play this game doing the absolute minimum and I'm spending hours and hours a day like copy pasting from the group to colin 😂 and now to our group. The problem is colin really believed jared when he said he'd flip and I was like colin no that's EXACTLY what he detailed he'd do in the group. And then Colin and josh were like wait anastasia and brayden may consider flipping and here I was like no y'all they are telling me / us they're saying that. Unless it's like a double play they are lying to you and that's their plan. All I can do is copy paste their exact messages and hope they believe me. I really do think they trust me bc I'm risking my life here. I just need to talk to Josh and explain the situation and I am with him not against him! Honestly this is such a great cast and they are playing very well. It'll be fun to see how it all works out. I don't think I'll be at the end but I would love to see underdogs take it. I would actually love josh elle and Colin at the end and I'd vote colin to win lol he put in work! I'd also vote anastasia to win because she has laid low so well with still having pull in the game. Idk it's a fun one that I think will blow up on me soon but I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style bc I'm just here to have fun not to win actually lol. I am writing this while on a flight so I'll have updates later. Oh right our 4 group plan is to use the chaos idol and throw votes around so that like 2 or 3 people don't have votes then they are the only ones vulnerable in the revote and everyone who got votes is safe. Then we can vote either jared or jodi like that's the thing if jodi doesn't play an idol here I don't think she has one or no one is giving her one. I think my only chance to make it farther is to let the 4 group know I'm with them 100% but still keep my idol for myself hopefully until 6 or 5 but lol idk about that. Like I can see them wanting to take me out then. Okay that's all my thoughts right now.

https://youtu.be/ji7K8HkLmRY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Ru1J0iXYA&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/rVRVR2zzkPc

https://youtu.be/PAjCL7-GWV

[😬 Not me completely forgetting to send this oops here i'll add a fun quote at the beginning] Jodi is Regina George, we are the schoolbus✨ Sooooooo Colin has a chaos idol how fun for him and tbh im kinda tired so here's the voting plan and the rest you can just kinda glean: Amy - Josh Elle - Colin Josh - Anastasia Colin - Jay ~~~

Edgic:

Power Ranking:

Amy: She has managed to escape suspicion from last round. Nobody believes her to be the rat leaking things to Colin. She is in the best position in this game right now being on all sides and having every single option open to her.

Colin: King of idols. King of chaos. He has it all locked down. Has capitalized on those the Jodi side has burned. Will continue to capitalize on it. The power struglle ends here.

Elle: Mostly just floating behind Colin’s shield which is what she should be doing atm.

Josh: If he stays out of people’s periphery, he can make it far. Might be dragged to end, but could make a great pitch for himself.

Jay: Ruined his position with multiple people last round. Is sort of in the middle? Sort of not? He is definitely aligned with Anastasia and Brayden who are protecting him.

Brayden: If he betrays Jodi, he will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to become a free agent instead of being locked into an alliance.

Anastasia: If she betrays Jodi, she will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to step away from Brayden and Jay who are clouding her good judgment. She is being iced from the other side.

Jared: I don’t know why he is going to use his idol on Jodi? His loyalty to her will be his downfall.

Jodi: Seems to have accepted being voted out this round. Seems to have backed herself into a corner based on her logic. Too worried about advantages to see the right path.

[elfdyke]

Heya max. What did you think of before the storm episode 3?

hey!! i have some like.. weird opinions i guess?

basically when i played it and chloe and i were talking about it while the credits were rolling we were genuinely pretty happy. in retrospect the episode wasnt actually that great but during then i was feeling good because of the gay content at the end and i was pretty relieved they didnt try and remind us of rachels fate. (i didnt think there would be more after the creds) 

and THEN post creds when that fucked up shit happened like.. honestly? it sort of ruined it for me. i lost my honeymoon feeling towards the episode and i just felt sick and empty and sad & had a break down. it fucking sucked! it was so triggering and hurtful and scary and i genuinely dont understand their thought behind that, especially considering they literally said jefferson wouldnt be in the gay (him taking pictures off screen is still in the game)

so after that brutal slap of reality, looking back on the episode was.... sub par. theres a ton of badly done stuff (the .. hospital scene... bad) and the scene with sera was sooo bad and distasteful. having a woman tied up and drugged... again? i get life isnt perfect but its just something so nasty to have in a game where the same thing happens to young women who get assaulted and murdered. 

the whole scene with sara after damon gets killed literally felt like a dream. the way chloe woke up really implied it was a dream, the fact sera was just sitting there and waiting for chloe to wake up. damon and frank just , gone. it was so stupid. plus sera completely changing her mind about meeting rachel. like i get that she wants to be her best self, but she could try taking the time to get clean again if thats whats important to her, i really believe she should have been able to meet rachel more easily,it honestly bothers me that it was resolved in the way it was. (also telling rachel her dad forcibly drugged her birth mother, right after shes had life saving surgery... is so fucking stupid. that would be so hard on her body and hard for her to recover with that emotional pain)

(ok just throwing this in here but im SO mad that d9 went with the same offensive spirit animal shit. saying “chloe is the raven” what the fuck that makes NO sense. on the totem pole in episode one, it literally says that the raven is a trickster spirit who shouldnt be trusted. ITS ITS OWN PERSON. what about chloe is tricky or untrustworthy? the raven is literally its own character. how can chloe BE the raven when its literally a character. thats like saying max caulfield is .. id ont know , kate marsh, its stupid. chloe cant factkin the raven)

the scene with elliot was literally... so stupid. i dont understand why he was in the game at all. he literally served no purpose besides making everyone uncomfortable and whining. the game would have been completely fine without him And Yet. here he is. the fact that he and max and chloe knew each other from childhood yet the second chloe gives rachel more attention than him he loses it??? like.. couldnt he have some empathy for her, that shes gay and lonely and rachel genuinely cares about her and wants to escape the bay together...... youd think a childhood friend would get that.. it would have made more sense having them be classmates who didnt talk much until chloe hooked up with him,,, and THEN he wouldnt leave her alone. but i guess that actually makes sense god forbid.. he ended up being a half baked nathan and it was stupid

ok ok .. the ending scene yeah? it was fucking bad, tasteless, and absolutely ruined their game. it isnt a subtle nod to the end of lis, its a slap in the face. you cant see off screen but youve seen rachels pictures. you know the pain and anger and hurt she must be feeling. its literally sickening and its hurting to even think about now. a subtle nod to rachels death would be a deer resting in the junkyard. its not clever or subtle to have the ending scene of a game thats supposed to give rachel closure involve her own torture prior to her death. its sick its gross and i cant even explain in words how betrayed i felt by that ending. it ruined a really good game and its just.. bad

YEAH basically. these are my thoughts sorry this got long but oh you know.

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode #9: “i hope that i'm out of the pickle and eating the... pickle” - Daisy

how i feel about merge: https://66.media.tumblr.com/68a1cf13a1ea5ca8ec0c6c8a044f92ad/fdb9160ed3342b6d-08/s500x750/a71a511c4f332aba10424d15b5e074bc9bbe5e0d.gifv

Click HERE to watch Szymon’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Chips’ Video!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to view Szymon’s Trust Rankings!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Video! Click HERE to watch another of Rob’s Videos!

So here is my i guess merge confessional! LOOK WHAT I DID! I MADE THE MERGE HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Voting cindi out last round was very sad but very needed, i think she was looking to have fun and cause chaos but i need some stability in my life rn, crackhead seamus has not came out yet and he can’t yet LMAO. so what happened is as soon as we merged Szymon approached me and wanted to call, and pretty much went on a rant about how annoying Rob is and how everyones so far up his ass, and that HE HAS THE IDOL!!!! And that Szymon wants me daisy and jules to start working together which i was like OH I LIKE THIS. Going into merge i wanted to reconnect with rob, and then keep my alliances with daisy and gage and try and just use them as shields to get into deep merge and then start causing shit.

In terms of my thoughts on everyone…. Gage i am very torn about. Because he is the person i am closest to on a personal level but i think game wise he just is rlly desperate to not lose. I offered him a f2 on our last tribe which i do intend on keeping my word on, but then as soon as we merge i just felt kinda off about him? And he formed a new alliance with Szymon Rob and Conor and didnt say nothing to me or tried to include me. Szymon leaked it tho and so im like oh ok i see i see. I think he is trying to have his hand in everyones cookie jar, but knowing he wants everything is off putting from an ally stance. But also last night he opened up a bit with me and i think he genuinely does wanna work with me, just perhaps not with Daisy. so i am trying to figure out like what is the right move with Gage, is he someone who can actually commit? and will he defend me if people like rob or conor suggest voting me? idk, but i hope he would.

Daisy: my relationship with Daisy is really strong. I think we have a lot in common personally and game wise we mesh really well. Coming in from embb10 i wasnt sure how we would work together but so far so good. everyday she makes me laugh and i want to keep working with her. Supposedly people are painting us two as a duo but i also think if people targeted us they would choose Daisy over me at this point which means i can embrace and keep working with her however openly i wish. Daisy i think also wants to more so work with Szymon and Jules which is fine by me. I think us 3/4 can work really well, it’s just about finding the right time to possibly take a shot at someone.

Szymon: i wasnt sure how i felt about Szymon at the beginning. Sometimes i thought he was annoying, other times i just thought he was being himself which i sometimes just dont vibe with. But him being really honest about his opinions with people shows that he actually is someone i can work with. i am a blunt person and when others are willing to throw mud too, it means we can work well together. I think he is very eager to vote out Rob and also doesnt want to work with Gage which i’m not 100% sure what my plan is yet regarding both.

Rob: rob is a big threat but only because he is so blatantly talking to everyone. dont get me wrong Rob is a great guy, but he isn’t a great ally just because he talks to me. I also know that he has the idol and clearly I aint the top of his ally list since he didnt include me in the one with gage szymon and conor and he also didnt tell me about his idol. Also every inactive person talking to him is not good bc i dont want his farmer ass to let his sheep target me. I think Rob may go home very early and he wont even see it coming.

chips/brandan: we arent working together. that’s about it.

Conor: we became a bit closer during the swap but i certainly wouldnt say he is an ally. more like a neutral friend. i think conor plans on working with gage/rob/szymon. which doesnt include me. But i dont think he has many other connections such as with dylan or daisy or jules. so im not sure how much he’ll be doing anytime soon.

Lovelis: he seems pretty inactive. itll be interesting to see if i can use our pre-established friendship to kinda pull him in and work with him but i also dont know who he plans on working with or doing. very nice and everyone agrees when he is on he is fun to talk to, its just about activity levels and trying to see if he actually is here to play or not.

Dylan: I LIKE DYLAN. BUT HE ALSO LEFT ME ON READ FOR LIKE 16 HOURS NOW LMAO. He was super fun to talk to on our tribe game night, and then in pms but then he kinda ghosted me but continued to talk in the tribe chat. granted i got rlly sloppy drunk last night so when he was free to talk more i wasnt ;/ So ill be interested to see if we can keep vibing, im defnitely open to working with him bc he seems like he would be fun to strategize and work with, but we aren’t necessarily at that point yet.

Jules: juuuules!!!!! amazing, fantastic, the best. but also not the most active. im interested in working with her and i think she appreciates me being crazy and i appreciate her being crazy too. also she is the main reason i won this challenge SOOOOOO. I think me szymon and daisy have a great opportunity to work with her and form a tight 4 if thats the path we choose to go down. Jules is here for fun and to socialize with people and i think some people are off putted by that but i thinks its fine, i just hope we have fun doing crazy stuff together and not against one another :D

THATS IT! MY MERGE CAST ASSESSMENT.

________________________________________________________________

SO I WON IMMUNITY! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE WHICH IS KINDA EMBARRASING SINCE I ONLY ASKED 2 PEOPLE FOR THEIR WORDS, AND THEN DAISY/JULES/SZYMON GAVE ME THE REST. Honk honk i love sharing, this is what communism is all about! But being immune first is kinda a great thing because it really puts you in a firm spot and allows/forces people to strategize with you. since i am unsure if i can attend tribal/live night it also provides some much needed security early on. i am hoping chips goes home at this first tribal which seemingly everyone is on board with. And then id prefer brandan or lovelis to go in live night. But i think Szymon and Daisy will want to vote for Rob. I am not sure if i want to take that shot yet because it might hurt my chances of working with Gage, but also leaves several more inactive people in. if i was confident people like lovelis and brandan would follow rob out the door that would be one thing, but i think it would make people like conor/gage possibly start targeting szymon/daisy/myself and that isnt a good thing. especially if we can wait to f9, and have 5 directly on rob and he goes home and then theres less potential for us getting outvoted

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Video!

I know I have been sending only really text confessionals right now and I am REALLY sorry about that, since pretty much a lot of my life has FINALLY FUCKING CLEARED UP I can actually start doing them, butttt since I'm a procrastinator on all sense of the word I'm just gonna type something here and be done with it okay?

Anyways, MERRRRGGGEE! I am fucking SHOCKED that I have made it this far. Keep in mind I really don't think that I would have had any issues getting to the merge keep in mind. Other than the shit I was going through early game and then with some other stuff I feel relatively blessed to be here. I made some connections on my swapped tribe which helped me stay around, and then afterwards I pretty much like... I'm here! I wanted to try and win as many challenges as I could just to help me get by, but then again I'm not the most TALKATIVE person in the world so whatever, I'm planning on fixing that now.

ANYWAYS going into live night I am worried. I was playing three games at once including this WHILE working and BEFORE I got COVID so that was.... okay that wasn't really that fun but still WHATEVER I TRIED GURL OKAY? And from the looks of it the first round should be easy with a relative chips boot which I am fine with. The second round though? That's where the primary issue lies. The only name I heard relative to that is potentially lovealis which I am down with. I got Jules who is a Brandan STAN, my Coco loco alliance with daisy/szymon, and other connections I have made with people like rob. Since after Chips leaves we're in the Final 10 during live night that's easier for my mental sanity. and with me/daisy/szymon/rob/jules, that is already HALF the votes. So I feel... good.

I did not succeed at the social queen immunity.

A social queen i am not.

I was told the vote would be me... so I packed my bags.

Then... a LONG time later they want to blindside Rob. I say okay, I'm down knowing I trust no one so trying to hold on to my smallest sliver of hope that this isn't an elaborate lie.

Then we get live round! If I make it that far I'm ready to party!

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Final Words

________________________________________________________________

Rob is voted out 6-3-1. He becomes the first member of our jury. We then have LIVE NIGHT! At live night, Lovelis goes home 9-1 and becomes the second member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment for this Episode and last Episode below:

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[ts-hvv4]

EPISODE FOUR: “I JUST NEED ME AND MY GIRLIES TO SURVIVE.” - JAKE

I'm jumping ship because Keegan voted for me TWICE!!! Bro I'm like Kelley Frickin Wentworth, I'm gonna underdog this game. Heck yeah I'm joining Andreas, Chris, and Dennis. 

The word of the day is definitely Tinky Winky. It’s a Tinky Winky revolution and all because I couldn’t get the fucking epic rap battle line “we’re in the endgame now Tinky winky” unstuck from my brain

Literally all my best friends are on the other tribe UGHHHHHHHH Sharifa, Trent, Kurt, Lukas we will be together at some point 😞✊ And Jake tbh imma miss him I have ned, Keegan, and Malik Ned doesn’t like malik Keegan thinks I voted ned Malik would’ve been voted out if he didn’t have immunity Sitting in a burning room with a teaspoon of water but ILL GET THROUGH THIS I PROMISE

I imagine Olivia, Trent, and Keegan as the episode 2 trio of Jamal, Jack, and Molly from Island of the Idols, specifically the line "we're really impressed with ourselves." They think they're playing some mastermind UTR game but in reality literally everyone knows their schemes.

Sooooo I received a vote and it was likely from Kage so that’s annoying… BUT here are my thoughts on the swap

1) I think Lukas told Kage I was trying to get him out. The way Lukas talked to me about Emma and the way he talked to me about Kage were very standoff ish. He was clearly trying to get info and just say things that didn't give anything either way. It was a very different feel than what I got with anyone else. 2) I think there's a winners alliance between Jake, Sharifa, and Kurt. Jake told me he got along well with Sharifa and Kurt. So clearly he's hoping we target Trent. BUT Also Sharifa knew I was a winner when I talked to her and made a point to bring it up. Yet, when I asked if there were other winners she mentioned Kurt and not Jake. That doesn't make sense. She doesn't know me at all. Why would she have that info about me but not have that info about Jake? 3) I think I'm losing Lukas a bit. Before we swapped Dennis told me that Kage mentioned something about the idol no longer being where it was originally. He also mentioned that Kage told Lukas. Me and Lukas had been sharing idol information but Lukas hasn't been coming to tell me things and he DEFINITELY didn't tell me the Kage info. Now that I've said all that, I wanna debate whether or not to tell anyone about the 5 that was created on our old tribe. Dennis might not enjoy it cause it would throw him under the bus. But he's no longer on my tribe. I could use this opportunity to inch my way into the winner's alliance and surround myself with threats. Get Lukas closer to me and make him a bit more sus of Kage. AND get Matt closer to me as well. My relationship with Sarah is interesting and I think it'll stay that way. I think we've been getting along nicely but I don't think she's actively going out of her way to work with me cause she likes me. I think at best, she wants to just get info from meAGAIN, all this said, one of the BIGGEST things I've learned in the past is to trust my perception. In both real life games I've played, I had a gut feeling about all of the important things in the entire game. I knew when things were happening that were shady and was able to sus it out. BUT in both, I waited too long to act on it and tried to logic my way through issues rather than trust myself. So I genuinely think what I'm feeling about all these relationships makes a lot of sense and I'm trying to really figure out what I should do with the trust I've built. I gotta a lot of ground to make up cause of my vacation and I can feel my relationships slipping. Jake and I rn are really close. As outside friends, I trust him to work with me for a while. He’s giving me lots of info and even shared an idol clue with moi And honestly, the only person I would care to push to go home rn is Kage and even then I don't necessarily think it's smart to take him out yet 

This was actually a good swap! Me, Andreas, and Dennis are in the minority, although I felt prepared that it would go this way! I talked to everyone and actually think all of them are cool BUT Matt claimed that Olivia told him Malik was the target on their tribe had he not gotten immunity and Sarah I believe said do not trust Olivia so I want to capitalize on that somehow! Also Malik and I know one another so that's cool! But we must downplay!

Just survived the double tribal. It was way more stressful than it should have been, but thats just because of my paranoid self. I had a 1/6 chance of going home, but luckily i didn't receive any votes. There were two rouge votes on keegan who was in my alliance but jake admitted that he and ned were the votes because they both got scared they were the vote and wanted to protect themselves in case of an idol. I thought for a split second there was a much bigger alliance controlling the game and I just got played. But luckily that didn't happen. Now comes a much harder part of the game. We swapped into our original roles, classic Heroes vs Villains. This would be fun expect for the fact i'm now in a 5-4 minority.  I'm going to have to work extra hard to not get voted out, but if they choose me, theres not much i can do unless i find an idol. Lukas I sorta knew threw olivia and she was hoping all three of us could work together, so i'm hoping he can protect me a bit. NIcklas I played BB pokemon with. We were never on the same side in that game, but hopefully theres so some sort of connection there I can use. Sarah Lynn also played that but she was inactive and first boot and I dont think she remembered me. The other two i just met for the first time last night. It's going to be tough to survive, but hopefully we dont even have to go to tribal.

To absolutely no ones surprise, we have swapped! But before I get into that, let me just unpack a little bit that happened at the last tribal because I am SHOOK. So the plan was for there to be a near unanimous vote for BIRCH. With Olivia throwing an extra vote on NED just in case BIRCH had an idol and was lying about who they were voting for. All is well and good. But then tribal happens and not only does NED get two votes but I get two votes. Record scratch. Hold up. What the absolute fuck? I genuinely though I was about to be blindsided and sent home pre-merge. So the end result was five votes for BIRCH, two for NED and two for me. In the brief chats I had before we actually swapped, as well as after with OLIVIA, MALIK and NED, it appears that it was KURT and JAKE who wrote my name down. Fair enough I guess, I hardly spoke with them at all this round. But it was still a shock. As far as I can tell, the McBITCHES all stuck together with the plan. SHARIFA, TRENT, MALIK and myself voted BIRCH with OLIVIA sticking with her NED vote. BIRCH definitely voted for NED and I’m pretty confident NED voted for BIRCH which definitely leaves KURT and JAKE as the two who voted for me. Which means they are close and working together. So that’s definitely something to keep in mind. In regards to the swap it is now a true Heroes vs Villains season and we swapped into those alignments. Which honestly I am okay with because I’ve got OLIVIA with me, who is probably my #1 ally at this point. I’ve also got MALIK who I trust a great deal. And NED, well NED I’m still working on gaining his full allegiance to me. ANDREAS, CHRIS and DENNIS are the other heroes from the original Molysmeno tribe. So far they’ve been nice and I’m bonding with CHRIS over horror movies so that’s been good. However, because of the late tribal we didn’t get a whole lot of time to talk last night. Moving forward, I’d like to win immunity challenges for sure. As much as I would hate to lose TRENT or SHARIFA on the other side, I don’t trust that OG AMMONIA will stick together if we end up at tribal. And who’s to say one of ANDREAS, CHRIS or DENNIS doesn’t have an idol and idols us out even if we do. I genuinely would like to stick with OG tribes for the time being though. As of this very moment, ANDREAS I think is who I would prefer to vote out right now. He seems to be the most difficult to actually talk with at the moment. But it’s still very early in the swap so we’ll see how things progress. 

So I feel that everything is coming together. Andreas/Dennis have told Malik on the Olivia stuff and he was hurt but it is going to have him come to us. While they think Malik's going to be all for them, there is a good chance he and I can snipe! Meanwhile Malik and Ned have expressed a little concern about Olivia/Keegan. I think my ideal tribal scenarios are 5-2 or 3-2-2 so stay tuned on THAT 

Today I've spent lots of time thinking about my odds in the game while at work and tbh I feel like I can surprise a lot of these people. For me, a lot of them want to play under the radar or downplay themselves, but I feel like perhaps the fact I am so new I can legitimately do so without it not looking suspicious and unbelievable. Someone like Matt or Sarah or Dennis or Ned or whoever I feel will have a hard time with that- at least I hope they will. So yeah. Still, I enjoy so many of these people that I feel if I do lose, then I certainly won't be sad about it! Having that said, I'm here to win and plan on doing so!

The swap happened as expected after Emma left. If Emma had stayed, this swap would've been a mess and a half, but she didn't and Kage (the rogue vote) prolly put himself really low into that swap. The swaptribe is amazing. Thanks to Matt's info, I was instantly able to form a really good relationship with malik, who didn't necessarily know he was on the outs, but is SO easy to talk to. He also seemed so so sad when I told him Matt's info, like literally heartbroken and I felt so so sorry for him :(. Ned also approached me about him being on the outs and even being close to Malik, so that is good... right?! Olivia and Keegan seem really nice, but we swapped into a Minority, so I will have to work every angle I can. There are a few concerns I have and those are mainly based on the fact, that things seem way way WAY too good and this just can't be?! I do feel like tho. My connections to Malik and Olivia would EVEN if they stick together mean, that I hopefully don't get targetted and that is actually my entire premerge strategy (or atleast until we make jury). Make connections and make people depend on you/like you enough that even if they betray you, it won't be you, who gets the boot. We just have to be careful, especially depending on what awaits us at Thera. The new Idolsystem is very very interesting to say atleast. It seems multi facetted and apparently Thera plays into it, so yeah

Music. Video. Challenge. No. I hate it. However, I stupidly volunteered to edit the damn video and I'm literally wasting almost three whole days of my life editing It's Raining Men. But I'm putting a ton of effort in so even if we lose I think I might be doing enough to make people feel sorry for me and like they can't vote me out. But by golly if I ever have to do another music video in my life I am RIOTING.

So for this challenge I’m really not feeling too hot about my tribes chances. It seems like not many people are excited about it, granted I did get a score of 8 on guess who. Hopefully we can pull it together.

Omg were back to original tribes..... it’s 7 heroes and it’s 4 original Armonia and 3 molysmeno. I’m with Dennis and Chris who were in the mystery inc alliance so I trust them. But then Malik is here who is someone I played a FB BB org with over a year ago and we went to f3 together and were extremely loyal. And then we have Ned who is one of my best friends from ORGs ever. Ned caught me up to date pretty quick about how he’s been targeted by Olivia and Trent. That’s dangerous for sure. He also said that there’s a Ned/Olivia/Keegan/Malik alliance that ‘plans’ on working together.... I have a plan to break that one up.

So I broke the news to Malik that Olivia led a campaign to target him and while he was really upset, he took the news well. Honestly, this has been the most gameplay I’ve done all season and it’s weird because I’m trying to be cool calm and collected. Also, Olivia and Keegan are so hard to chat with .... they just leave me on read so often, or will just react to my messages halfway during our chats and it’s just hard to chat with them. Neither of them want to talk game at all, and I’m thinking it’s cause they believe they’re going to be Armonia strong. Further to this, Dennis and Chris said the same thing is happening to them too. Malik approached me about a me, him, Ned, Dennis and Chris alliance. That works well for me honestly. I can get behind that quite frankly. As long as Ned and Malik can play both sides for at least this round, I won’t have much blood on my hands. My only fear is about idols or double votes or what not. If we split the votes and they have a double vote it could 3-3-2. That would cause a revote so all would be fine. But as long as they don’t sniff it out we should good. This is all dependant if we can win or not.

Woo we won immunity!!!! 😄😄😄 i worked so hard and Keegan kicked ASSSSS (pun on my password lol) I’m terrified for my buddies sharifa, Trent, Kurt, and Jake because they’re outnumbered. I hope Lukas can flip or something

Things got insane after the immunity, all of the other villains were messaging me except for Kage. Suddenly everyone wants to work with me...sounds fake but okay. Matt and Sarah were ALLLLLLLLL up in my dm's talking about how they weren't going to vote for me because of how hard I worked on the challenge. Do I believe them? No. We’re all villains, someone here literally voted out Isaac on his birthday LFKJASDKJFA. But I do think it’s smart for them to work with me, taking out the target on everyone's back eventually means yours is the only one people can shoot at. Yes I'm the biggest target, but that means I'm a shield for yalls bitch asses. I'm just never gonna fully trust Matt and Sarah, they think they have the game WRAPPED around their pretty little fingers, and their final 2 is BLATANT. Then Lukas messaged me saying the same thing, but it felt genuine from him. We ended up having a lovely chat and I trust that a lot more than anything Mattrah said to me. MATTRAH AKSDLFJALSDJ. I went from Trolivia to Mattrah I'm never escaping these duos GOD. Speaking of which, Matt revealed that Kage was bringing back everything Trent was saying to Mattrah. So I gave Trent the heads up and then proceeded to throw him under the bus to Matt. Initially the plan was to get the target on Trent and then use my idol on him...and I even said that to Trent. But there’s a whole day left to play tomorrow so I have ZERO idea what I’m doing as of now. It’s a huge risk not to play the idol on myself, and everyone could just be trying to make me feel safe...but a part of me thinks I might have an opportunity to get power. The most interesting convo I had was with Nicklas. I’ve just had a feeling about that one since the swap, and we had a really meaty game talk. Not even talking about the game but just strategy in general...that one is a smart fucking cookie, I like him. He reminds me of myself in a lot of ways, the more pragmatic side. I was open that I was really fucking with what he was saying, and he seemed to be vibing me. It just felt like a lot of effort for him to put in just to make me feel comfortable but YOU NEVER KNOW. Everyone, and I mean everyone said they wanted to talk about the vote tomorrow...I feel like everyone is trying to use me in their plots and schemes, but I’m the queen for a reason. I need to figure out how to not only survive, but put MYSELF in a better position by doing what I need to happen. I have to take paranoia out of it, I have to take my personal shit out of it, forget I'm one of the pieces and step back and look at the chessboard as a whole. Tomorrow is going to be a huge day, if I go home, I’m gonna leave SWWWWIIIINNNNGGGGGGIIIING!! YOU WANT TO TAKE ME OUT YOU BETTER EARN IT!!

All that work was worth it! We won the immunity challenge! By a glorious 2 points! The only thing that worries me is whether SHARIFA and TRENT can survive this vote. KURT or JAKE can be voted out and I won’t feel any amount of sadness over it. I still feel like it’s early enough in the game that anything can happen so I’m really hoping the McBITCHES can stay whole until another swap/merge and we can reunite. I think for my own safety I’m going to try to propose an alliance of sorts with ANDREAS and maybe CHRIS, maybe bring in OLIVIA. I don’t think it would be the worst thing in the world to lose NED, but if we lose the next challenge I think it would be in our best interest to vote out DENNIS or CHRIS, depending on who OLIVIA and MALIK would rather see go.

 This week was a bad week to go to NOLA. I can tell I'm not doing so hot with the people on my tribe. Not bad, but not good. Kage apologized for "not checking up on me" after tribal today. Days after I already told him I was feeling fine about it all and just wanted to let him know since other people checked on me. Lukas has been quieter with me. Sarah and I are still talking but it took a lot to get info out of her today. People are also talking about the game without me cause Kage told Sarah that Trent was trying to target her earlier this morning as an "easy vote". And only Sarah told me that but I doubt only Sarah and Kage know about it. So I’m aware of my spot here…

Ok so update: We won the challenge by two points! The other tribe did great but we ended up getting the win! And based on what I know, Olivia was likely really trying to gun for me and said that to Matt because they were able to talk as Olivia confirmed it to me herself, and there’s no way Matt can randomly come up with that when he doesn’t even know me. So the second we lose if we do, Olivia is going home. She did great in the challenge, but if I know someone’s after me I never just let them stay in the game. I also got an alliance going with me, Ned, Chris, Andreas and Dennis! We(or I atleast) called it the teen titans and everyone went with it and we have roles. I’m cyborg, Andreas is Starfire, Chris is Raven, Dennis is Robin and Ned is Beast Boy. I love that group, they definitely made me feel at home on the new tribe!

i can’t believe we lost this effing challenge. LITERALLY ROBBED. anyways, first lemme confess about my new tribe. of course the other tribe has majority. i’m with kurt and sharifa who are the ones i trust, trent is iffy especially since i lies about the keegan vote, but came forward after to try to put it behind us nicklas is here who i trust a lot but am trying to keep the connection low because tbh idek how far he would go for me, i’ll have to see what happens in the vote to determine that. sarah might have a grudge against me idk, matt can’t even be assed to talk to me, i know lukas a bit and me and kage are eh. sharifa is worried we won’t have majority but this queen tellls me she has the idol so we might have some luck nicklas told me he doesn’t trust kage so i’m gonna try to work that angle, i just need me and my girlies to SURVIVE.

I'm so happy that we won! I get we have ideal targets but if I can go as many rounds as possible without seeing tribal, it'll increase my longevity in making the bonds I need to! Teen Titans was created (Dennis, Andreas, Ned, Malik, and myself) and I honestly love it! Between that and Mystery Inc and Andreas & The Chipmunks I feel good!

My gut has been telling me Kage is in trouble and so if he does get voted I'll feel horrible for not warning him that some people in MI think he had the idol. Hopefully he, Matt, and Sarah at least can pull through but I dunno, I have a bad feeling for one them going home

Omgggg so I had a very cathartic and explosive meltdown last night. I think this is my first time I’ve ever let like... true emotions trickle into an org. But I don’t regret it and I think it was a valuable experience. In terms of the vote tonight, I have no idea. I want to vote with Matt and Sarah because I think they will be a good lotus of power to cling to for awhile. I want to keep Kurt and Nicklas close as well, but Nicklas is kinda elusive. I assume the vote will land on Kage or Trent, which are both completely fine options to me. Both are a little unpredictable but Trent is super nice so I would feel bad.

*later on*

I feel like I’m in an okay spot! I helped launch the Kage vote (which hopefully will work) but I don’t think anyone sees me as the mastermind. I’m getting super close with Kurt and Matt. Jake seems to not hate me. Trent is def weary of me, but I’m weary of him too, so I’m not offended. My plan as of now is to just play this middle zone as much as I can!

I’m beginning to think that there’s nothing at all in the “idol system” and it’s all an elaborate ruse. Or I’m just that unlucky. I’ve also spent a bit of time on the blog typing random things into the URL in hopes of it revealing something useful but no luck with that yet either.

[vidoxi]

just finished mystic messenger and i just wanna write down my thoughts. major spoiler warning + i-might-talk-shit-about-your-fav warning. if you want to discuss with me any of the points i bring up here, go for it.

Jaehee “No Homo” Kang

so when i first heard that her route was just a friendship route i was hella disappointed and thought that sounded like a total bullshit cop out, but after playing it i feel a little differently. i think it makes sense for jaehee’s character and narrative that she would value a friend over a relationship at that point in her life, but also its pretty clearly said that she does have romantic feelings for you but she needs time to process them, which is especially understandable since you can infer that before she met you she thought she was straight and also she’s catholic. her after ending was the perfect time for her to confess or for there to be the implication that you two are in a relationship, but instead it’s the only after ending where we DONT get to see interaction between you and your partner, which is a bullshit cop out. i do like that in the christmas DLC things got a little more romantic but i’m still wanting more. jaehee and the fans deserve what the male characters get, a CG of a kiss on the lips and a confession of romantic love. i hope that if more DLC gets released, cheritz will push the envelope a little a lot more. but i have heard that korea is still really conservative and for all i know making it more explicit could be illegal so i might be being unnecessarily harsh there lol;;

about her actual route though... it was good. nothing really exciting happened. it was definitely the chillest route i thought, but it was really sweet and she’s absolutely adorable and it warmed me to her a lot. her bad ending 1 (the one where you end up with zen) is so depressing, fucking hell. it feels like you betray her. it’s so ugly. ;_; i never want to do that ending and i’m glad there isnt a unique CG to tempt me into it either. her bad ending 2 (where you push her to work so hard that she ends up in the hospital) is pretty terrible too. after ending was hella cute though, i love the thought of mc and jaehee having their little coffee shop together and jaehee getting to actually work on something she’s interested in and being with her “best friend” all the time. oh and yoosung becoming jumin’s new assistant was interesting and i need me some fics, u feel?

something i also feel a little robbed about is that jaehee never blew up at jumin. she drags yoosung like theres no tomorrow and you just know she could say some venomous shit about jumin so i was hoping there’d be a big confrontation between them where she gets a dramatic The Reason You Suck-type speech but there wasnt really a moment like that.

however, seeing jumin all bitter about it at the end was a little gratifying (sorry jumin)

i love their emojis and you cant stop me from using them

also on this route where 707 has yoosung hunting for the LOLOL expansion pack (how is this boy so naive? im worried) and he finds a buried picture of rika’s dog sally instead, i at first thought that he had dug up sally’s corpse and i was like “wtf the fuck seven”

also wtf @ v saying he has terminal cancer. this is presumably a lie, right? before reading the secret endings i thought he was going to commit suicide but now im thinking that (seriously if you havent played the whole game you need to stop reading this rn) maybe he knew that rika was going to dispose of him soon and he didnt want jumin to investigate his disappearance? iirc yoosung’s good ending is the only one that he’s present in, so is it meant to be assumed that he’s killed off camera in every route possibly?

everyone else under the cut

Zen

the worst tbh. i dont like saying it but there it is. possibly this depends on who you are as a person but to me it didnt really feel like MC and zen had much chemistry except during that scene where youre on his roof together. most of your interactions are just you praising him and fellating his already huge ego. and jaehee was exceptionally annoying with all her “muh zens reputation” shit and feeling like i was taking zen from her was really awkward and unpleasant because it does seem like she has repressed feelings for him. fuck and the whole story with echo girl was super predictable and generic and feels like something i’ve seen 100 times before and probably have. my overall feeling about this route can be summed up by this emoji.

i feel like it could have been improved by either removing the echo girl stuff or at least putting an interesting spin on it. i think they should have made zens’ childhood abuse and family problems and maybe his past as a gang member as well an actual conflict instead of it just being a thing of happenstance. it’s an interesting backstory that as far as i can recall didnt end up having an impact on the current day situation. it would have been interesting if he had some sort of emotional issue you had to help him through like jumin, like secret crippling insecurities due to his family telling him for years that he’s ugly and inadequate, and thats why he tries so hard to be perfect so that people will give him the love his parents didnt. also his elementary school teacher was implied to be a pedophile(??? i dont remember what was actually said in the conversation i just remember the pedo-vibes) so they could have made him a CSA survivor but maybe thats too dark even for mysme lol.

also his bad ending 1 confuses me. the first time i saw it it felt really rapey but rewatching it now, MC does seem to consent but its after being cold and refuting his advances so it seems really weird. MC seemed genuinely disinterested, but i guess she was just playing games, testing him to see what he’d do? since theyre in a relationship a year later. and his bad ending 3 (the one where youre both kidnapped by saeran) is pretty bizarre lol.

so yeah this is the weakest route imo. maybe its different for people who are zen fangirls but i personally felt like i was being super fake the whole route, which was especially jarring coming off of yoosung’s route where the dialogue choices felt very organic to me. also his responses to mean things arent even interesting lol so thats frustrating too. and this route felt weirdly short. all the others felt like 11 days but this one felt more like 5? and when i missed chats on this route i just let it go most of the time instead of spending hourglasses. i wasnt feeling it, mr krabs. by far the best part of his route for me was the relationship development between zen and jumin.

now that ive spent 4 paragraphs just complaining you probably think that i dont like zen but actually i think he’s is a fantastic supporting character and i do like him a lot. that picture of him sneezing was my phone wallpaper for quite a while lol.

Jumin

me at the beginning: i fucking hate jumin han. fuck him. fuck his cat. i hate this type of asshole love interest.

me after zens route: i guess he has some hidden depths... i’m curious...

me after jumins route: *loves jumin han so much i cant breathe*

this guy... this cat man...... where to start? i’ve had a while to think about this route and i’m still not totally sure how i feel. “i feel complicated” is a term i’m going to start using because its just too handy for situations like this.

i guess i dont like that to get the good end you had to be passive and compliant and act like you were walking on eggshells. your relationship with him is undeniably a little scary and abusive. i think jumin needs more in his life than just you. but mysme is an otome game so of course youre the one that “fixes” him but thinking about it more realistically its worrying and jumin should be in therapy cuz the dude undeniably has some issues.

winning his heart by being understanding and with gradual, slow-growing trust was pretty touching. something i really appreciate was him opening up and his true self actually being hard to accept sometimes, instead of whats expected which is “oh youre secretly a perfect, beautiful soul”.

i do really wish they would have opened him up further though. there isnt ever a point where he completely loses control of his emotions. not to be gross but i’d do anything to see him crying, honestly.

i hope people are joking when they say that his bad end (you know the one i mean) is a good end. just because its hot doesnt mean that its good lol. its actually really tragic and shows the deterioration of his mental state and how he’s just accepted that he’s a fucked up/defective person.

“I was worried that the loneliness inside me would pile up and explode some day.” FUCK. dont do this to me jumin. ;_; this line is heart breaking.

something thats kind of interesting and worth noting maybe is that even though the other rfa members arent privy to the VNMs and you can give them little indication that he’s acting so worryingly theyre all still alarmed and concerned and thinks that jumin is going to hold you hostage/abuse you, which makes me wonder if youre meant to infer from that that theyve noticed red flags in his personality that he’s potentially kinda crazy.

and man, zen is always complaining about how jumin seems to have no emotions, but jumin finally opens up about his feelings and zen calls you laughing hysterically about how pathetic he is for being emotional. i was kinda hurt on jumin’s behalf during that call lol. he is so supportive to zen on zen’s route. just... shut the fuck up you albino freak. dont make me whip out yoosung’s “hyung, what’s wrong with you?” emoji. i wont hesitate, bitch.

there. you asked for it. feel those judging purple oblongs pierce your soul.

man, just reading the dialogue options that treat him like a psycho make me cringe. usually i’m tempted by mean dialogue options but not this time. i want to protect jumin han. ;_; i want to untangle his threads. i dont want him to feel like a mutant ever again. i want to love and accept him. i am now the president of the jumin han protection squad. jumin han did nothing wrong. shameless jumin apologist. that’s me. no but seriously he did a lot wrong and is pretty morally grey but thats one of the reasons that i love him. if you love jumin for pure reasons (that arent just “daddy~”) then youre automatically my friend and i love and appreciate you.

just to love on him for a minute: he is so damn funny, for real. he’s such a sass master, its great. him being terrible with technology is funny. his social awkwardness is funny. his shitty jokes are funny because theyre not funny. he should be the poster child for gap moe cuz goddamn. he’s such a ham. an absolute goofball dressed as a billionaire CEO, and i dont think he even knows it.

also every time elizabeth meows i fucking lol. its literally just a woman saying “meow”. every time jumin says “elizabeth is just a cat, she’s not human” i’m like “ARE YOU SURE?”

Yoosung

this is the first route i got and i assumed that i had already peaked at the beginning and no one was ever going to top yoosung for me, and that assumption was correct. i love this boy. do you hear me? i love him. “perfect” has seven letters in it. “yoosung” has seven letters in it. coincidence? i dont think so. i have feeeeeeelings over this character. he is so darling. i just adore him. i’ve opened the app many times just to look at his album. his voice is like a choir of angels. i have so many screenshots of conversations with him on my phone. he is so selfless and caring and adorable and kinky and pure and i want him to be real so i can marry him irl.

i’m not even sure how to give a critique on his route because i feel so emotionally close to the situation lol. i was very, very invested. ah. gosh. this boy. his good ending is absolutely beautiful. you know youre playing a weird otome game when the good ending has your boyfriend tortured and disfigured. he really earned his happy ending, not quite as much as seven but its up there.

i really love how for better or worse, this boy is like putty in your hands to be molded and what you say to him effects him so deeply in a way that doesnt quite get as extreme as with the other characters. obviously your words majorly influence the other characters but i feel never to the extent where theyre hanging on to every little thing youre saying like yoosung does. which makes sense because he’s young and impressionable and doesnt know what to do with himself and he says he wants to be controlled lol.

MAN, speaking of that, i love his bad ending 3 so much. it’s so twisted that he’s technically getting what he wants in a lot of ways. he’s a masochist that loves the idea of being kept as a pet and controlled, and he gets all that and more with saeran. that ending is so fucking hot, slkdfljsf. i might write a fic. i have a couple ideas.

oh shit, using that seven gif just reminded me. there’s a chat thats on the first few days of common route that ive always participated in before, but when you dont participate in it and yoosung has time to ramble, it gets really kinky. he says “i wonder what it would feel like to be locked up? just a bit.... curious lolol” which i think is what he says when youre in the chat too BUT THEN HE STARTS GETTING OFF ON THE IDEA OF SEVEN BEING LOCKED UP TOO. “Imagine the super smart Seven all flustered. and not knowing what to do.” AND I’M JUST LIKE BOIIII;;; HOW YOU GONNA JUST TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF ZEN AND JAEHEE LIKE ITS NOTHING? if he would take the obvious hints that seven hits on him he’d probably be willing to roleplay that scenario. 707 strikes me as a fetish friendly person lolol.

ummm... well, to get back back on track, ahem.... him confusing you with rika was creepy and interesting and they didnt take it far enough. even on the yandere bad ending he’s still fully aware that you arent rika. it seemed like it was building towards him having some kind of psychosis where if you feed into his desire for you to be rika he’ll really think youre rika but that doesnt happen so theres no real pay off, and he doesnt have time to do anything yandere-y to you before the bomb goes off so i found that ending to be pretty disappointing and unsatisfying. it felt like someone waving a delicious cake in front of my face but only giving me a crumb of it in the end, do you know what i mean? aaa. maybe i can find a fic that runs with the ideas set up here. when youre desperate, turn to fanfiction lol.

speaking of disappointments, i’m not over the last line of his good ending being “youre not rika, are you?” like... at this point we’re past this arent we omg stoppp. this line is a blight on my happiness. fuck rika and fuck whoever thought that was a good last line.

i noticed that yoosung is the only rfa member including v and rika that doesnt have childhood trauma. his trauma all happened recently. i think that lends to him being the most fragile and child-like character. the other rfa members are so strong because their pasts molded them that way, but yoosung has no such constitution and rika’s death is undoubtedly the worst thing thats ever happened to him.

something thats been on my mind concerning bad ending 3: does rika know that saeran is torturing yoosung? saeran must know that yoosung is his savior’s cousin because he’s hacked the chat and presumably has read messages where yoosung mentions being her cousin, correct? therefor wouldnt that make him hesitant to harm him? i think rika must have consented to yoosung being tortured then. maybe his ultimate fate at the end of bad end 3 is that he’ll be brainwashed and become part of mint eye.

man he’s such a bad judge of character lol. he hero worships rika, loves echo girl, thinks that jumin isnt potentially dangerous, and even you can fall into this category if you choose to play it that way. the one person he really dislikes is v, and v has nothing but the rfa’s best interests at heart lol.

something i love about him is how quick he is to call everyone out on their shit. like, his finger is always on the “whats wrong with you? :>” emoji, just waiting for someone to say something he doesnt approve of lolol. he’s so empathetic and naive but he still has such a strong sense of right and wrong and isnt afraid of standing up to his older friends and i think thats great.

ahh. this boy. he might be ranked #2 on LOLOL but he’s ranked #1 in my heart.

707

before playing his route i thought seven was an obnoxious tryhard and that jumin was way funnier, and after playing his route i still think that he’s an obnoxious tryhard and that jumin is way funnier.

HOWEVER.

however. i can definitely see why he’s the most popular character. that hot and cold drama, i-cant-be-with-you-because-it’d-put-you-in-danger, dark childhood backstory, sad clown type shit is a recipe for a lot of fans to be in love with you. he personally doesnt make my kokoro go doki doki like i kind of expected because of the fan response but i do really like him as a character.

he’s similar to zen in the beginning in that you have to constantly stroke his ego and i was like uuuuggghhghghghghg nooooo. “god seven” kill me lol. at least that only lasts for the first few days though.

i liked his bad end 2 where youre really sexually forward with him and he keeps snubbing you until you just snap and push him down lol. (“why arent you pushing me away?” “...i dont know. the floor is comfy.”) seeing him finally just give in and be hedonistic and decide to run away with you was nice. god i want fanfics based on like every bad end, theyre just so interesting

the chat where he tells yoosung that their friendship doesnt matter was paaaainful. also that part on day 10 when youre leaving mint eye and he says horrible shit to v. what was it, “if this is what youre really like i can see why rika blinded you”? like... goddamn, dude. i would never want seven mad at me lol.

one of the moments on this route that got me the most was in the flashback when saeran is being brainwashed and is speaking of or thinking about seven and says something like “please come back. we dont even have to be happy. just as long as we’re together i can endure anything” and then he’s crying about how he misses him and.... augh... *clutches at chest like the heart attack guy meme* i want to give saeran 52 hugs and a box of cupcakes and a puppy. i want to adopt him even though he’s older than me and be his mom. saeran.... saeran...... ;_;

THE ZEN AND YOOSUNG DRUNK PHONE CALL AT THE END OF DAY 10 IS THE BEST FUCKING PHONE CALL IN THE GAME. i called yoosung again after they hang up and he answers and its so great too. i need fanfiction R I G H T N O W about that night. nsfw or sfw, i just need more drunk yoosung antics and zen trying to handle him. oh and if you also call seven at this time he picks up and its really sweet and i think it should have been an incoming call so more people would hear it. the fact that the first time he tells you he loves you is in an optional phone call kinda sucks.

oh fuck his fucking after ending. at first where mc and saeyoung are in bed and talking about going to rescue saeran i was like “GDI CHERTIZ” thinking they were going to leave it open ended, and then in the chat where saeran joins in i fucking s c re a med i was so happy and relieved omfg. seeing the rfa being so inclusive and nice to him warmed my fucking heart. and when they asked him if he has the same taste as saeyoung and he says “ive never been interested in women” and zen is like “oh? where is jumin lololol” i fucking died. i can see now why ive been seeing yoosung/saeran shipping stuff and its romantic and not the abusive stuff based off of yoosung’s bad end 3 like i was expecting. but of course it turns out to be a fucking dream and ruins everything. the second that creepy music box music started playing i was like “fuck you cheritz”.

707′s voice actor in the free talk part is great. saying all these cheesy romantic lines makes him want to “rub sandpaper all over my skin” lmao. and he hopes that it becomes a series with new titles like “Strange Messenger and Thankful Messenger”? fuck yes mate, fuck yes.

does seven not actually open a toy store? :c i kind of want this to be an actual thing. its a good fit for him. maybe the fact that he dreamt about it means that it’s something he’d been thinking about.

oh and BI THE WAY, SEVEN IS BISEXUAL. this makes me so happy. bi visibility is so important to me and the fact that he’s the face of the game, the fan favorite, the canon route, etc, is so delicious. thank you cheritz.

on the subject of the secret endings.... man. i knew it was going to be crazy but i still wasnt prepared. these were a trip and a half and genuinely had me feeling shook up emotionally. if there’s ever a time in my life when i’m too happy i’ll just think about v. definitely the most tragic character in the story. he’s not an angel and he’s pretty much culpable for his own suffering but he did not deserve that.

something of note is that jumin was in love with rika but after learning what she did to v, he has such a grudge against her that he wants her arrested even when she’s completely lost her mind and he even thinks about chasing her down to alaska. he loves v so, so much, augh. it hurts. i’m in pain.

it’s pretty fucked up that jumin (and yoosung and zen and the rest of the world) are still being lied to about v’s “suicide”. jumin spent a lot of money and went to a lot of trouble to get help for saeran, who is his best friend’s murderer and he just doesnt know it.

the fact that yoosung in particular never knows the truth about the cult and drugs and brainwashing and everything is a good thing though. just seeing his hero come back from the dead and be reduced to someone so mentally ill that she cant communicate and needs 24/7 care would be extremely distressing and i imagine would worsen his depression. knowing the truth would be too much i think.

i think this game fucked up v and rika’s VA’s too because both of their free talks quickly derail into too-serious territory. v is like “i once hurt my wife so badly and the guilt was unbearable” and rika is like “im going to die some day and i have no idea when...” and im sitting there like “i need a fucking hug, oh my god”

it’s amazing how quickly the secret endings shot saeran up to being one of my favorite characters. he’s so good. ;_;

okay but what was mint eye’s plan? i know they wanted to end the world’s suffering but like, how exactly? through brainwashing + drugs? rika could clearly see that saeran was miserable though, couldnt she? also some of the things saeran said made me feel like they were going to do some sort of ritual group suicide or something. maybe thats how everyone is going to be happy. and the doctor says that saeran was on peyote, shrooms, AND meth? god damn, what a cocktail lmao rika doesnt fuck around.

i love rika. she’s thoroughly disturbing and a sickening person and i can see why she’s so hated now in the fandom but even she is deserving of sympathy (abused adopted child with severe mental illness) and also has good qualities (high emotional and social intelligence, genuinely sweet, and extremely empathetic). one of my favorite villains from anything in recent memory. she’s terrifying and i absolutely love her.

we never learn her real name, which i thought was intriguing. i get the feeling that she’s meant to be mysterious and unknowable, even with all her power stripped from her as it is at the end.

im so happy that the game ended on a hopeful note, with saeran seeming like he's starting to recover and he's either grown out his hair or dyed it back. he still has literal mint eyes though, which makes me wonder if theyre not contacts like i was thinking and are actually some permanent body mod he had done. he got a tattoo of the mint eye logo, so i wouldnt be surprised if that was the case.

stray thoughts (this part is super disjointed and im just saying things as i think of them)

with the exception of 707 (if you count the secret endings as being part of his route), sometimes i get the feeling of these characters being like big fish in a small pond. mysme is already head and shoulders above what i thought a mobile game could ever be, but that doesnt change that i still feel hungry for something more. i want to see this cast in more situations, under different circumstances. they all feel like fleshed out characters full of potential that are just waiting for something more and bigger to do, like maybe something thats not restricted by being a mobile otome game. but maybe thats one for the fic writers, i dont know. maybe cheritz could work them into another project somehow since mysme got so popular.

i love that the characters have actual flaws. all of them have unattractive qualities that really make them seem human. and all of their relationships with each other are entertaining too. they are all multi-faceted and interesting and i really do adore this cast.

so 707 is the canon route but i hate the thought of any of them being canon because that means the others arent canon. all of them needed you. i want a harem route. give me all of them at the same time.

i feel a spiritual connection with vanderwood. he just constantly looks so done. his gender confused the hell out of me at first. i thought maybe he was a trans woman at first because of the hair and name but then he responds to seven referring to him as a woman with things like “i’m going to taze you”, so i was like “okay, he’s just a dude with a girls name and haircut for some reason” but then seven tripped me up again with the fact that even when the scene is really serious and seven isnt in a joking around mood, he still refers to him with female pronouns. but i guess this could be explained as this is just what seven’s used to. @aouba brought up a really good headcanon that i believe actually is canon because it makes too much sense which is that “mary vanderwood” is just the identity that he’s assuming at the moment, like saeyoung being “707″. its even noted by one of the other RFA members (yoosung?) that the name is weird and sounds fake.

i’m never more thankful to be a pale girl with long brown hair and bangs than when i’m playing this game lol

also i love this game because it feeds into my pathological need to help people without me actually having to do anything lolol

is it just me or do the full portraits of the characters look weird? like when you look at them on the wiki and you can see their legs. i cant tell if it looks bizarre because you just never see their legs in the game or if their legs are drawn weird or both lol.

i love the character designs. 707 in particular is very nicely put together and distinctive. and i love how angelic rika looks. that one taylor swift song thats like “darling i’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” is totally her theme song.

... okay now that im listening to that song it really does fit rika a lot.

oh and Take Me To Church is def v’s song for rika.

the two guests i was unable to get throughout all the routes is @god and @star. star’s is just so counter-intuitive and god’s seemed like such a crapshoot that with two chances for both i made the same mistake on their first email both times lol.

it surprises me that religion is mentioned so frequently and openly. maybe its not as big of a deal in korea or something? i’m thinking thats the case since two of the VAs mention their religion in their free talk (i forget who but one said they were an atheist and another said they were christian). it just seems like an oddly serious and potentially alienating topic to bring up in a dating sim. also jumin and yoosung are so inconsistent with what they believe. jumin says that he’s christian on one route and then firmly says that there’s no god on another. yoosung says he doesnt believe in god multiple times and that he has no interest in having any religion but he also talks about praying and refers to rika as being “up there” and watching over the rfa. i think zen is actually the only character that doesnt ever say where he aligns.

was anyone else suspecting that rika was the one that blinded the dog, sally? i’m glad that turned out to not be the case.

i love the voice acting so much. i think quality of voice acting is sometimes harder to discern when its not a language you speak, but the quality of the voice acting here shines even to my english-only ears. yoosung’s voice is straight up one of my favorite sounds, 707 has an impressive range and is overall just always entertaining to listen to, i love the way zen’s VA delivers his lines when zen is surprised and his howls lol (which were apparently ad-libbed by his VA), jaehee’s voice sounds so sweet and lovely, and jumin is so very... jumin-y and nice and relaxing to listen to.

zen and the twins were so fucking cute in the flashbacks i want to scream. i know we get to see yoosung as a teenager but im not satisfied and i want to see jumin and jaehee as little children so bad too, augh.

rika and yoosung are the only two characters that get the creepy ass yandere eyes where their eyes get all dull and flat when theyre being crazy.

i never cried but i got pretty close on yoosung’s good end and during the secret endings. i still feel shook from the secret endings lol.

why are there still bad end relationship endings for 707 and zen and jumin that no one has found? its almost february of 2017. its surprising considering the games popularity and how long its been out. is datamining not a thing with mobile games? or does the fandom not have anyone who knows how to datamine, or what?

ships im particularly interested in: jumin/v, jumin/zen, jumin/yoosung, yoosung/seven, yoosung/jaehee, yoosung/zen, yoosung/saeran, seven/saeran because i have no shame, mc/everyone, like literally just every ship tbh because i love every character hnnng

i had no idea that buying the christmas DLC gets you another free talk with the VAs. yoosung’s VA is so cute. “please get your flu shots if you havent already”.

not sure what to do now. i definitely want to replay yoosung. and i want to hunt for all the CGs and phone calls too, but i dont want to spend $20 on the calling cards lol. would buying them even be a better deal than just spending the same money on hourglasses? $26 gets you 1000 hourglasses which is more than you’d ever need, right? it seems like the better deal, unless youre not using a phone call guide for some reason and want to try to just discover them all on your own.

i’m super excited for more DLC. i definitely think there will be more because when you open the DLC folder, the christmas DLC is shoved off to the left, making room for at least one more. also just the nature of it being a DLC folder and not a direct button to the christmas DLC.

... i guess thats all i have to say lol;;; bless cheritz. this game is fantastic and has consumed my life and ruined my sleep for the past almost three months and i had so much fun and i hope they get even more ambitious with their future projects.