#but then there is also that private side of the dynamic where they're nothing more than 2 people. and i love how uncomfortable

[lilacerull0]

an arrangement between effects of the light and the flesh of the city

My Brilliant Friend (TV) // L'amica geniale, Elena Ferrante // excerpts from my diary

I am perpetually fascinated by the landmark qualities behind Enzo's physicality in a world plagued by disintegration. I especially enjoy how it compliments Lila's outwardly signatures, such as nervousness and a body that is often described as fragile and betraying, all characteristics that are in tune with dissolving boundaries as a concept. There are two spheres this relationship inhabits narratively: one of the cyclical, historical and architectural Naples and one of the confined area that is a room and I am restless in my curiosity when it comes to those spaces interacting and what that means for these characters.

[thearchercore]

After reading your essays about Charles and PR, I have a bit of a rant when it comes to Charles’ image rn, and how (I believe) him and RBR are working together. I mean, it could be very likely considering his and RBR’s posts.

Let’s have a bit of a look at the 3 accounts that are posting Charles almost all the time rn. Ferrari, Charles himself and Red Bull. Ferrari’s posts are 1. Not much, considering he is their driver, and 3. Are either way too polished or just a thirst trap. Considering that Ferrari is his team, they aren’t posting Charles much, since the beginning of the year. And they haven’t changed their tactics, their posts are too polished, too stuffy if you could say, with the inly non-stuffy one being a pic of Charles falling while playing Football and Skiing, and even that doesn’t look authentic or like they’re really pleased about it.

Now, let’s see Charles. Since the beginning of 2024, there has been a shift in Charles’ social media, it isn’t all theist traps, or any of that shit. I mean, yeah he had a few posts that showed his adventurous fun side of his personality, but they were very limited compared to his curated posts, the posts that are what we could consider “safe” and “according to Ferrari’s agenda” kind of. But since ten beginning of the year, there is only one post which falling in this category, which is a post made by his sponsor, APM Monaco, for a shoot. The rest are, charles is drunk, relatable in LA, being goofy while skiing. Almost as if Charles is trying to detach himself from the Ferrari image if that PR robot who only has looks.

Now onto the last side of this, Red Bull. RBR have always been known as fun, spontaneous, almost chaotic. I mean, their slogan is and always have been and always will be Red Bull Gives You Wings. They have been the ones who never restricted their drivers, Max, Checo and Daniel can post whatever they want. But lets be real, I don’t think Max and Checo use their Socials much (with the chance of Max having a private account which we all knew from his twitch saga 😂, but its mire because Max is a private person).

Back to Charles, Red Bull is posting Charles in a way that shows that he’s a beast on track, only him can battle Max, but also in a way that shows the fun aide, the sticker war?? And I believe RBR and Charles are working together in that sense, RBR showing the dynamic between both, as well as highlight the fact that the ones with the most battles with Max that are the most entertaining is Charles, while Charles is detaching himself from that stuffy Ferrari thirst trap-y agenda into the more fun loving, spontaneous person.

And I think they’re doing that in order to prepare for something. Like Charles to RBR announcement when bestie??

yeah, something may be going on behind the scenes! i mentioned charles' rebrand from ferrari-focused posts to more individual approach here and the recent change of posting patterns (ft. posting charles) on the RBR socials here

i got a bit caught by surprise on thursday -- a day where ferrari is known to post contract announcements -- in the morning f1 posted joint post with ferrari about charles' monza win, then posted a pic with charles' monza helmet quote "one team one dream" (which was rumoured to be his OG renewal helmet, renewal got obviously postponed). all posts lead me and my friends to believe that an announcement is imminent and i patiently waited for the charles renewal announcement to drop.

nothing happened.

the same day, however, we got a new article that updated that carlos' negotiations for a new contract aren't working out the way they wanted. apparently ferrari only wants to give carlos a one year long contract, carlos wants a multi-year contract. that once again delayed the contract renewal announcement.

remember that fred mentioned he wanted to have the contracts locked by christmas so they're ready by january.

also seems like carlos' deadline for contract is the testing in bahrain. they want to announce before the testing starts.

there were also rumours that because of that, ferrari is eyeing alex albon as a possible second driver.

again, it's all quite messy and not fully confirmed but just the delayed timeline shows how many complications ferrari may be facing right now.

is red bull part of the game? maybe, maybe not. we can't tell, we can only follow their social pattern and see how they move in the future.

[justmessybottoms]

Intro time!

As the blog description states, I'm 18+, so no minor interaction please! I will check!

The messy side of my omo sideblog @justpottytime , so pee-centric stuff goes there please! Pee mentions are still allowed here and will be tagged, see below, but if it involves messing at all, it goes here! Also, expect ageplay on this blog too!

This blog is for soft messing and copro, so nothing too harsh or extreme please! No touching, smearing, or eating, and I'd prefer no IRL stories or asking me to assist with holds/telling you when or where to go! Please bear in mind and respect that I have a partner, so I don't do that stuff with others and your ask will be deleted!

Most posts here will probably involve stuff like helping someone with constipation/tummy bugs, cleaning up accidents, just-made-its, helping someone find somewhere private to go in an emergency, that kind of thing!

Tagging system, as usual!

#ageplay mess - anything involving ageplay. That doesn't necessarily always mean someone just using childish words or phrases, but if it's a clear littlespace/CGL dynamic, it'll get this tag!

#diapers and #messy diapers - like on my omo blog, any mention of diapers will get the #diapers tag, but if the post is mainly focused on the diaper being used (or if it's art involving using/used diapers), it'll have the #messy diapers tag too. Block as needed!

#pee - self-explanatory, any posts that contain pee alongside messing

#nsfw - doubt I'll use this one much, but on the off-chance I reblog or post anything with a more sexual nature, it'll have this tag. Also for art containing nudity/exposed genitals

#not messy - anything that doesn't involve the main themes around here, so no poop mentions at all. Posts that are solely about gas will also get this tag

#A/B/O: anything involving an alpha/beta/omega dynamic or universe. Remember the slashes if you're using or filtering this one, they're important!

#puke - also self-explanatory, any mentions of vomit. Probably lightly used, but just to be safe!

#periods - any mention of menstruation

Custom anon-specific tags:

#precious polycule

#little rockstar

#retro littles

Post and tags will be updated as needed! As always, have fun!

[sweetbottletops]

Arai Sumiko's one-shot Makoto no Momoka / まことのももか (Yuri Hime vol 116 - 11/2021) was recently posted in English onto one of the usual places (suddenly not sure where I read it originally back in the day then if not there...hmm. No matter.) so it's been nice to see a lot of new people running across it for the first time. Also a reminder to finally pick that issue up as it's on Amazon Japan still.

I usually make a mad dash to well drawn yuri with adult characters which is what Agu was known for more prior to the green manga (tho Joe and Kanna are a nice inclusion). And an added bonus is this isn't in the office lady genre either.

Momoka (a bartender / prince type) gets into a casual relationship with Makoto (a frequent patron / player of hearts) and this continues as Momoko opens up her own bar. "Momoka" is a cute feminine name the bartender feels doesn't suit her and "Makoto" is gender neutral-to-masculine name and when she opens up her own bar they swap names as their little secret.

It seems to publically suit them both better on the surface. She even names the bar "Makoto". None of the regulars know they are involved at all. They both passively watch how the other is perceived. "Makoto-kun" has her own following a year after opening the bar. Her new name fitting her well.

"Momoka" sits on the side and watches the bartender at work.

The only thing publically staying the same for the year is "Makoto-kun" serving at the bar and "Momoka" sat off to the side watching.

"Momoka" uses the cute name when she picks up guys at the bar. She's never romantically serious and always leaving a trail of hearts. All of her bar relationships are shallow and fleeting. "Makoto-kun" is starting to feel a certain way about it.

They are both watching each other waaaaay too closely in public for it to be truly nothing between them. Past understandings aside.

Privately they are very domestic.

Privately they use their proper names with each other and that dynamic suits them very well romantically. Ahem.

But after a year of this there's friction between this public / private persona business. "Makoto-kun" feels "Momoka's" increasing affection (Agu knows how to apply the rizz to characters) and wonders if she's just getting a dose of whatever those bar patrons experience before eventually getting dumped. Meanwhile "Momoka" has obviously been breaking her own pattern by staying around for a whole year so this is different for her too.

Since this is Agu there's misunderstandings, blow ups, but also characters actually talk too and that part doesn't drag out. I mean it's a one-shot so of course nothing can drag too long, but it has a nice ending I feel.

The name exchange can trip you up in a first read through, but once you catch on to the game they're playing with names and gender it really feels perfect.

[itiaskia]

lately i've been thinking about shu's prudeness in contrast to mika's preference for the grotesque

-and i'd like to hear your thoughts about it! also in terms of physicalness and sensualness in their relationship

//nsfw

In !! era, Shu tries his best to embrace Mika's differences from him as an artist, since he's human and meant to grow and change, not a copy of Shu himself. However, I think Astraea's Atelier is the tipping point for where he actually makes that change wholeheartedly. Before the story, we know Shu's prudish, he especially gets mad at Mika for doing gravure photoshoots "meant to elicit arousal" (or however he describes it I forget the exact words. Hey Shu, what do you mean by this? Lol. My interpretation is that he's disgusted with himself for being aroused by it, but would never admit he was because it's "beneath him"). In Astraea's Atelier, Shu becomes more accepting of the fact there are different types of art, namely some that he might think are "unsightly" or depict things that he thinks are perverse/grotesque. But instead, he learns to look at them through a different lens, thus accepting that this type of art does exist, and being more open about it. I think he doesn't necessarily like the grotesque art Mika makes, but he does have an acceptance for it now that it's a valid form of art. And… he's a lot more willing to step outside his comfort zone.

So how does this play into their relationship dynamic… Maintenance. No one entirely knows what maintenance is, I believe it's kept vague and up to audience interpretation for a reason as it's their private time with each other, and related to the doll/master dynamic they have. My personal interpretation of maintenance is that it's a self care of sorts, like Shu cutting Mika's hair and getting him ready for live shows, as well as a physical process like stretching or massaging before/after practicing/performances. (Mika makes a comment or two that suggest there is definitely a physical component of maintenance, such as the "I want him to touch me, even if it's so hard it hurts" that make me think he's referring to stretching). I think maintenance is something intimate to them, even if it isn't sexual, it may be sensual at times.

"But wait, if Shu is prudish, why would maintenance have sensual elements?" Because the idea of maintenance is between doll/master, not between two humans doing sensual things. Shu is "taking care" of Mika as a doll, not as a human. With this disconnect, nothing they're doing is out of the order. Dolls need to be cleaned and dressed and taken well cared of. So if Mika's a doll, then he needs to be well treated too. By the time ! era rolls around, we know that Mika has to mostly beg Shu to give him maintenance. He has to ask for it, Shu won't just do it for him anymore. And I feel this marks the beginning of Shu really pushing for Mika to become human. Unfortunately, this leaves maintenance in a sore spot. Because giving your unitmate a massage and stretching him during warmups is sensual, isn't it? This one sided taking care of him comes across a little differently between two guys. Shu does offer to give Mika "special maintenance" in Sports Fes 3 so who knows what that means. But by now there's a level of closeness between them that most people wouldn't "get". Arashi mentions in Victoria that she doesn't entirely understand the dynamic between them, and it looks strange to outsiders.

Shu has no problem touching Mika, in fact Mika even teases him about it in Neveland later. Though Mika does ask permission from Shu, like to hold hands crossing the street and such, Shu usually complies. But whenever Mika spontaneously clings to Shu, Shu verbalizes frustration. To me, this reads as Shu not really accepting that he can be the object of affection. In exvalkyrie, he sang praise about Nazuna constantly, and we don't really ever see Nazuna saying anything back to him of the nature. In Shu's early stories, he is completely perplexed with Mika's devotion to him, he doesn't understand why Mika would stay with him after the fall, and kind of begrudginly accepts that Mika's just going to follow him around all the time. By !! era, I think he realizes that yes, Mika does care about and love him, but it's still not a conversation he's willing to have. He'd rather have things play out like a storybook, which is present in their stories like Antique Legend (Daddy Long Legs) and Acanthe (Sleeping Beauty). This is what imo leads to Shu making the assumption that Mika will move in with him after graduation, getting a little frustrated and saying Mika has been behaving "coquettish" with him. This line is important because it means Shu was definitely aware of all the times Mika flirted with him before, he just… didn't do anything about it in the moment, or if he did, it was a knee jerk reaction like he would in ! era.

Mika is hesitant towards Shu changing. We know this, like how he's anxious in Teddy Bear and Magical Halloween (! era stories) about Shu suddenly treating him a lot nicer. I think a more… sensual/sexual Shu would cause Mika distress and make him anxious about the state of the relationship. Even though he'd /want to have sex with Shu, there's some hindering elements. 1. His self worth, Mika doesn't see himself as desireable or even Shu's type. There's numerous mentions of him wishing he was smaller and cuter, especially like Nazuna (or even getting jealous of Kohaku in Antique Legend). He doesn't like his eyes, he thinks they make him look strange, even though Shu has mentioned he likes them. 2. Fear of change. As I suggested before, Mika gets uneasy whenever Shu changes. He has a view of Shu in his head that he thinks is the "correct" Shu, and whenever Shu deviates from that, he gets a bit anxious. 3. Humanity. Sex would be something very human for the two of them to do. It wouldn't be doll/master, it would be two people admitting that they feel a sexual attraction to each other. It's something that would leave them both vulnerable, and force some honesty out. Because I feel if either one of them were hesitant/cloudy about what they wanted, the whole thing would be called off. And I think Shu knows this, he can't just tell Mika "hey let's commence intercourse" (or achieve intimacy or however Shu would delicately phrase it) because then Mika would just comply. But Mika knows not to ask Shu because Shu's been shirking on 'maintenance' and for a while he'd been a bit bitchy about Mika clinging/touching him.

Let's dig a little deeper into Mika. I think his fascination with the grotesque is his own way of exploring humanity. Mika likes things that "no one else does", ie broken toys that he takes home and fixes is one example (that has also been implicitly compared to how he took care of Shu when Shu wasn't doing well). He's called a "broken doll" by Shu. Mika sees humanity as inherently flawed, and to an extent that humans are irredeemable. He's willing to dirty himself to keep Shu pure, as seen in Raison where he goes to grave rob to uncover the truth. But if Shu is human, doesn't mean that he's flawed too? Yes and no, I think at least for a while Mika views Shu in a sort of category of someone he has almost a divine devotion to. Shu is placed on a pedestal above him, but that doesn't mean he can't step down. If Mika can help it, he won't let Shu. I think this idea of not "dirtying" Shu would be one of Mika's biggest hurdles in a sexual relationship with Shu. Mika's a flawed human. If he has sexual desire for Shu, what's to say he's not tricking Shu into doing "perverse" things with him? Because Shu's prudish, isn't he… He would never want to have sex with something as broken as Mika…

I think in the current scheme of things, Shu's ready to have sex. Mika is not. Mika needs to increase his self confidence, and trust both himself and Shu more before he can accept that he's someone who Shu finds desireable, and someone who isn't going to "tarnish" Shu with his feelings / actions.

[fuckyeahisawthat]

[puts my Actual Serious Media Analysis headcanon carefully up on a shelf] ok but JUST IMAGINE

A scenario where occasionally getting each other off just becomes part of their caretaking routine for each other as definitely-not-weirdly-codependent lab partners. They bring each other coffee and takeout and finish each other's equations and sometimes give each other a handy or a blowjob. Just bro stuff, y'know. Only as a last resort distraction or relaxation tactic of course. Jayce is stuck in a paralyzing anxiety spiral; Viktor is having a pain flare; the post-nut clarity did help them solve that design problem that one time so maybe it'll work again-- This is a practical and completely rational method of stress relief and nothing more.

I actually think it wouldn't happen all that often because every time it is just too emotionally fraught for both of them. For Viktor it's like...at best a form of physical caretaking so intimate it's almost unbearable, and at worst a pity fuck he's too lonely to say no to. Maybe he even feels like he is using Jayce a little, his friend who is so generous and kind but can't possibly feel anything romantic for him. Never asking for more than a brief exchange of physical release because hearing Jayce say Viktor, I'm so sorry but I just don't feel that way about you would be too devastating. Meanwhile Jayce is trying so so hard to be what Viktor needs, which seems to be physical satisfaction and nothing more, but he's dying inside the whole time because he has never once in his life been chill and casual about sex and he wants to kiss Viktor so so so so bad like all the time and also Viktor gives amazing head and he can't stop thinking about it.

And then afterwards, the next day or later that night if they go back to work, they're just sitting side by side Not Talking About It and stewing in their own private hells of (perceived) unrequited longing like the scared emotionally damaged idiots they are.

Anyway this kind of dynamic is DELICIOUS and I am WELL AWARE that I have not explored it in a fic yet but I swear I'm GONNA.

Listen. If you ask me for my Actual Serious Media Analysis headcanon, it's that Jayce and Viktor never so much as kissed in those 7...ish timeskip years of working together every day. Which is unfortunate because I have never seen a combined set of neuroses more ripe for a friends-with-benefits mutual pining while fucking scenario.

[002yb]

Current thoughts: Dick and Jay just having a casual intimacy because they have virtually no boundaries with each other. It's nothing dirty but it so close and open that it feels private (a soft brush of lips to eyelids and forehead, hands anchored to waist or arms to pull each other closer when they talk, skin to skin - sharing warmth and smiles - eye contact and reverent lovelorn expressions as the other presses callused fingertips to their face)

And nobody really thinks twice because for them its like breathing - inhale and they see each other across the room, exhale and their in each other's orbit. Until one day someone not used to their dynamic points out “hey their awfully comfortable huh” and suddenly its everywhere. 

Idk just, them and indulgent trusting intimacy, because its you reverent looks- because I love you touches.

(人´∀｀)+ﾟ:｡ﾟ+ s o s o f t +ﾟ:｡ﾟ+(´ ⌣ ` ʃƪ )

Anon's current thoughts are a gift to my ask omgggggg my heart wasn't prepared for such warm and gentle feelings!! Ahhhhhh thank you for sharing; this is so evocative I can't stop rereading hahaha.

Nothing needs to be added on to this masterpiece, but I'm such a sucker for casual intimacies (and more indulgent intimacies lol). It's just. Their relationship isn't something easily defined - it just is what it is. ;U; So sometimes they're ornery with each other, purposefully pushing and taunting and tormenting just to get a rise from each other (roughhousing and playfighting, games of chase as they snicker and cackle as they triumph or are met with a playful comeuppance).

Sometimes they're soft together, easy comforts and easier affections. Thoughtless touches, fleeting and lingering. Fixing each others' clothes (Dick evening out the drawstring of Jason's hoodie, Jason rolling up Dick's sleeves and getting flustered by Dick's forearm and wrist and pulling down the sleeves again because omg meanwhile Dick is ?? then lol i'm sorry i couldn't help myself; tucking in tags, laughing over mismatched socks) and hair (fringe checks, fluffing up flat spots from impromptu naps; musing hair only to restyle it into some semblance of put-together). Saddling up next to each other, shoulder to shoulder or maybe the entire line of their bodies. Resting their heads on each other's shoulders; resting themselves bodily in the cradle of each other's chests.

Backing up to feet because LOL okay because games of footsies, or simply just bumping the sides of their feet together because any thing more would be too much. ///A//// But also, shoving each other with sock-clad feet. Dick playfully kicking Jason's butt as he walks by (and Jason grabbing Dick by the ankle and making Dick hop around in retaliation hahaha). But most importantly!! Toe curls. Specifically Jason toe curls where he gets shy and just curls his bitty toes. ;U; Another most importantly, but for real this time!! Dick casually squeezing Jason's foot. Thoughtless foot rubs and the endearment that follows when Jason proves to be ticklish.

Sometimes they're just dumb. Young and wild and wanting. Crowding one another's space, nearly close enough to give each other butterfly kisses, to feel the vibrations of each others' laughter. Softer - at a distance, looking for each other in a crowd. Finding each other through an endless stream of strangers and being helpless but to smile.

Oh no, help. I've forgotten what I was writing it just became dickjay thoughts with no actual rhyme or reason. This was seriously lovely though, thank you so much, anon!! Please feel free to share your thoughts again ahhhhhhh they're the s o f t e s t and I adored every moment of reading them. ( ∩ˇωˇ∩)♡

[myimaginationplain]

This was initially a comment of mine on someone else's post (which is actually just a scroll down from this one) but I believe this little essay deserves to stand on its own:

The Batman set up a very plain and clear thematic path for Robin to appear in the sequels.

The sheer amount of emphasis placed on orphanage as the primary trauma that drives the films three biggest players (Bruce, Selina, and Edward,) to have become who they are in the present. The Gotham foster care system being so derelict and foul that it produced someone like Riddler, and left Selina with scores of her own trauma. The idea that, despite of course living with his own pain, Bruce is not a "real" orphan compared to them, because he had his wealth and a guardian in Alfred. Bruce taking in Dick would not only put him face to face with a quote en quote "real" orphan, a child who truly has nothing left; it would give us a window into the childhoods of the three former characters through seeing his fresh trauma. It would also be a private extension of Bruce's new public goal: fixing Gotham's broken social systems, reflected in his personal life as he takes in an orphan. With Robin, the sequel can easily pick up with the orphan theme where it left off.

Bruce and Alfred are, as we see, distant. Alfred didn't know how to be a proper father figure or emotionally connect with Bruce when he was a child, and Bruce keeps him at arm's length as an adult. By adopting Dick, Bruce could both better empathize with what Alfred must have went through raising him, and try to be a better surrogate father than Alfred was. A breaking of the emotional repression chain.

The Batman put more emphasis on teamwork than basically any other modern live action Batman. Solving ciphers with Alfred, staking out crime scenes and collecting evidence with Gordon, and fighting side by side with Selina. This Batman, despite all of his standoffishness, is not built to fly solo; he clearly does his best work in a duo. Frankly, it's nonsensical to prime a character for partnership, only to completely erase his most famous and consistent partner. They're the "dynamic duo" for a reason. Can you imagine a world where we've had decades of Sherlock Holmes adaptations with no mention of Watson, or decades of Doctor Who with no companions? Because that's what's happened with Batman and Robin.

Bruce ends the film with the realization that the people of Gotham need hope more than anything else. And which character has represented Bruce's hope for a better future? Oh yeah, Robin. Robin is hope for Gotham, hope for bruce himself, proof that he can and has actually helped people. Robin is the impetuous for Bruce to be more responsible and take better care of himself, for his child's sake.

The Batman primarily draws inspiration from the Batman: Year One and Batman: The Long Halloween comics. And which story is the direct successor to those two those two? Batman: Dark Victory, the one where Bruce fucking adopts Dick Grayson. It just makes very obvious sense.

[heliomanteia]

Trans m/m Emmrook agenda under the cut because I actually can't shut up once I think about something

There is a lot of appeal and euphoric joy about a trans Rook paired with Emmrich that I cannot really fully explain to someone who is not trans, it comes with experience. There's a lot I can think of.

A man proficient in studies of anatomy and a body's inner workings would hardly need any further explanation past the initial recognition of the matter— and not having to explain is part of what makes this so appealing as a dynamic, to me. He feels like such comfort incarnate when it comes to bodily matters. You're getting your needs handled without a smidge of judgment. What is that you need, Rook? Tea for the pain? Some better bandages? A robe to fit the shape better? Softer textures so it doesn't rub over the scars? Anything for you, darling!

Speaking of, if Rook so happens to be from a background that did not allow them access to complex surgeries (which I assume to be Tevinter or Nevarran in origin, given their extensive educational base), then Emmrich is your man! If Rook were to get surgery or hormonal treatment after the events of the game, that can be handled too, dearest! Nevarra City — and its Necropolis in particular — has plenty of assistance to offer and he'll have its best surgeons (and mages, which might or might not be the same group of people) working on Rook. Given the Mortalitasi proficiency in handling a body, they'd probably know how to give them very unnoticeable scars too, if that's what they want.

Post-surgery healthcare? Emmrich is your man. Watching Rook to ensure they take their medicine on time and replace their bandages and drains? Absolutely the guy you'd want around.

But it's not just the matter of physical health or physical side of transition, Rook could be meeting Emmrich far down the line of transitioning and I would still be feral about it. Because with Emmrich? The man who uncovers some of the rawest traumas of his life upon some of the first private meetings? Emmrich, who has one of his romance scenes be that where he invites Rook into his "world" of wisps and magic and wonder? He values trust and openness.

"I believe there's nothing so attractive as someone who's found himself" is the line of dialogue Emmrich offers if a trans!Rook comments on their identity during one of the flirt scenes. It's Emmrich. Of course he treasures that someone opens up to him in return. He loves that Rook trusts him to that degree, that they're this comfortable with him. He'd tell no soul, that you can be sure of— unless Rook doesn't mind. Emmrich is the confidante you want when it comes to secrets.

I don't feel like overly focusing on this point because it's been said and joked around before a lot but right about everything that has to do with trans-friendly sex is absolutely 10/10 no notes with Emmrich . Whether or not Rook is experienced/older does not matter as much because Emmrich is more experienced. There are men that don't know where clit is and then there's Emmrich who's going to make Rook wish they could live in that bedroom.

Romance, though! Emmrich is an experienced lover who has always wished to fall in love— he's got that open heart and attention to detail. If Rook happens to prefer a specific way of being courted (given that much of it is gender-coded in certain cultures, i.e. who pays for dinner kind of thing — to exaggerate), then Emmrich will tailor their time together to ensure Rook doesn't feel disregarded.

And if Emmrich is also trans? Everything above applies + older trans people are incredibly hot and there needs to be more of them in media and outside of it.

You don’t know this because I don’t really talk about it as much as I should be but I do go crazy about m/m emmrook. And when I say m/m always assume that at least one of them is trans

[katyobsesses]

What do YOU think of Kurtofsky, Sebofsky, Blaineofsky and St Karofsky? I have so many thoughts about them that your ask is gonna take awhile lmao

oh no, I should have prepared for this.

Kurtofsky -

I honestly love the idea of them together, but not, like right off the bat after The Kiss. They would have to work through a lot of Stuff™ together first. I think, if Kurt hadn't been with Blaine in Heart and had agreed to go out with Dave after his showering of gifts, then they would have worked really well. Dave grew a lot from 2x06 to Heart, got more confident with himself, and I think, while they would need a nice long conversation with a fair amount of apologies on Dave's side, they would have been good together in S3b. Kurt would have totally been right by his side after he was outed, and supported him though that, actually picking up his phone when he called.

I could also see them working later in life, I love fics like that, where they stumble across each other in New York.

I love them and how they compliment each other, juxtapositions in character. They're almost how I would picture Burt and Elizabeth, so would be a fun parallel of them. One gruff and 'manly' and outwardly tough but totally a teddy bear, the other seeming delicate and snooty but is actually very kind-hearted and mentally tough.

Sebofsky -

I like this pairing too (but then again I like most pairings, it's a problem). They're not up there as a Dave ship like Kurtofsky is, but in the handful of fics I've read of them they're fun. Sebastian is a huge flirt, and I can kind of see him showering Dave with compliments, not like sweet things though, naughty ones (but sweet ones in private), and I think being with him would help Dave's self esteem somewhat. I guess it entirely depends on what version of Sebastian it is, because there are a few floating around out there in Fandom, but I'm imagining the snarky, flirty, secretly doting one. They'd share a lot of snarky banter and from the outside people would think they were about to break up, when that's just kinda how they show affection to one another. They're a fun ship, with an interesting dynamic and I enjoy reading fics with the pairing!

Blainofsky -

Sunshine, that is my thoughts about them. If Blaine hadn't been hung up on Kurt, or if Kurt hadn't been hung up on Blaine, I could see them staying together for a long while. It seemed like Blaine was Dave's first serious boyfriend after an impressive line of hook ups (? first dates??). I mean, they're living together fairly soon after getting together (judging by the confusing glee timeline) and them sitting in the truck during homecoming makes my heart swell. They're sweet, like I can imagine them being a cavity inducing couple. Blaine would bring out Dave's soft and cuddly side, and Dave would encourage Blaine to better himself, but not necessarily push him out of his comfort zone. They'd be a really stable couple, once Blaine got over Kurt, even with the weird history between them. I can imagine that they talked about that before getting together, though, at least I would assume!

But yeah, sweet and stable and soft.

St. Karofsky -

This was a throwaway random ship, dude, i have never thought of it before sending you that ask! But I am of the mindset that Jesse St. James can be shipped with everyone in the glee verse (provided they're not lesbians and/or much too old) so I am going to try my best to figure out what their dynamic would be, and if I would ship it.

...

...

I can't see myself shipping it. this is a tragedy. I can ship Jesse St. James with fucking everyone. but they don't mesh, they have no parts of themselves that would gel, nothing. I can't imagine the two of them sharing a space together, let alone sharing a life!

Maybe Jesse would feel some sort of musical chemistry with him, like imagining some weird S1 AU where the jocks have to sing with the Glee Club and Jesse hears Dave's smooth, deep, baritone and pops a boner for it. idk. I can imagine him being a thorn in Dave's side for a good while afterwards, stalking him in the halls, talking to him at his locker, being a general annoyance without realising so. Like just weird backhanded compliments left right and centre while somehow also complimenting himself. He's like full on flirting with Dave, but Dave kinda can't tell because it's such a weird brand of flirting, but gradually Jesse wears down his Fort Knox closet door and they make out backstage in the auditorium.

This is the only way I can imagine them.

I think I've redeemed myself with my St. Crackships because this could be a cute little one shot if I knew how to write Jesse St. James as a character.

That was fun!! I hope you had fun answering too 😂

Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

[v-hope]

Someone speaks badly about you on a show

—and they defend you, ofc.

Pairings: OT7 x Reader

Genre: I guess fluff for default, angst

Request by @ally22042000: "Hey, I saw that request for reactions are open. Can I have one with the boys ( just Yoongi and JK if all of them are to much), where they are at an award show or interview or something like that and someone talks disrespectfull about the reader? Thx so much💜 and have a nice day."

A/N: I hope this is what you had in mind, I enjoyed writing these 💕 Also, you're an idol in a couple of them and in the rest you're not. I hope you like it!

Kim Seokjin

Your boyfriend absolutely lived for whenever he got asked to be an MC at award shows.

So, naturally, he was very hyped up once he was handed his lines and had to go up on stage with two other idols – one of them being his good friend of many years, and the other one being a new artist who had debuted last year.

It was simple. Read the cards. Just read the goddamn paper notes you had been given and that was it. But, apparently, the idol by his side was way too new to this whole thing, for instead of reading what he had been handed to, he fixed his eyes on Jin to his side.

"Thank God I got to be with the fun one of your relationship".

Seokjin's eyes went to lock with his out of instinct, having not really processed what had just happened yet.

"The fun one?" his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah" the idol nodded his head. "Y/N would've made this so boring".

Jin glanced for a brief second to his friend, as if to verify he had heard just the same and his mind wasn't making it up – his awkward expression itself doing that for him.

Nonetheless, as much as he wanted to snap at him, he decided to be the better one, maybe just because he knew he was still live and didn't want to make a scene right in front of everyone.

That didn't stop him from putting him in his place though.

"Then you clearly haven't had the pleasure to meet her and witness her high class humour" Jin spoke into the camera, later placing his eyes on his friend. "Don't you think, hyung-nim?"

"I have never laughed harder than with her, Seokjin-ssi" he replied immediately.

And then out of nowhere, Jin dug his hand in his pocket, throwing multiple heart shaped red papers that had everyone screaming in a second. "Love you, baby. Don't let anyone tell you you're not funny".

What's the saying? Kill 'em with kindness? Well, Seokjin had just slayed that poor guy's soul.

Min Yoongi

"Hey, it's BTS!" the MC greeted cheerfully once the seven guys came on the shot.

One by one, they went up to her to give her a quick hug before they took their place standing next to her.

Up until then, everything was fine, and maybe things would've remained that way if she had just said nothing after Yoongi hugged her. Instead, she laughed, catching him off guard.

"At least you are polite" she shook her head in amusement.

Yoongi pouted naturally because of his confusion. "Who of us hasn't been polite?"

"Oh, no. Not you" she shook her head one more time, only to clarify: "Your girlfriend".

"Y/N-ssi?" Hobi was the one to ask on his hyung's behalf, being just as puzzled as everyone else by that statement.

At the nod of confirmation coming from the MC, Yoongi brought the microphone up to his lips. "But you've never even met her, where'd you get that from?"

"The video of her not even looking at the paps taking pictures... when you were at the airport the other day".

Yoongi's hold on the mic tightened, suddenly becoming protective of you. "So just because she's a private person she's impolite?"

"She didn't even acknowledge your fans. Come on, that was just very–"

"She's not an idol" he cut her off. "She doesn't have to put up with all of this, especially when she's not comfortable with all the attention".

"She should've known this would happen when she decided to date you".

"Guys…" Namjoon tried to stop both of them from arguing any further, for they had apparently forgotten they were still live.

But Yoongi was already done, slightly shaking his head before he put an end to it for once and for all: "She's given up enough for me already, I'm not asking her to be all bubbly around paps or our fans when she clearly isn't comfortable with it. If that's impolite to you then go off, I guess, but I'm the one dating her and I know better".

On to the next topic now.

Jung Hoseok

"Hoseok!" the girl interviewing them read effusively on her phone.

They had been interviewed person by person that day, since a few influencers had gotten the chance to record short clips with BTS to upload to their social media. This one, so far, had been one of their favourites, for its dynamics consisted in nothing but the young woman going through her Twitter reading fan questions or just letting them know about cute comments they had made.

However, that was soon to change when she caught Hobi's attention, continuing: "I loved you in the concert last week, I got to meet Y/N and she was the cu– oh, irrelevant much?" she mumbled with a small, breathy laugh, before dismissing the topic and scrolling down in search of another tweet.

Hoseok's eyebrows knitted together. "Wha–"

"Oh, here's a good one" she smiled as if nothing had happened, as if she had not heard him; having the seven men exchange uncomfortable glances. "Jimin, you and your girlfriend are such couple goals, I can't w–"

"Um…" Hoseok cut her off, stealing a quick glance to Jimin, who looked just as out of it, before his eyes fell back on the girl's. "How come Jimin's girlfriend is worth talking of and mine isn't?"

"She's an idol" she answered as if it was evident.

His jaw tightened. "So people are only worthy when they're famous now?"

"Well, no..." she uselessly tried to fix it.

"Then I believe you should respect her enough not to call her irrelevant or skip comments at the mention of her".

"But there's nothing interesting about Y/N anyway, so…"

That was all Hobi needed to turn his head to look at his members before he shook his head in defeat. "We're done here, guys. I'm not listening to any more of this nonsense".

Neither were they, which is why they were all soon to follow your boyfriend out of there.

Kim Namjoon

"So, Namjoon-ah" the entertainer's eyes focused on him, "I watched a few pictures of you at your girlfriend's graduation the other day" he smiled. "You guys looked so cute!"

A big smile spread over Joon's lips, recalling the pride he had felt that day because of you, being the happiest to have been able to be there for you.

"Aw, thank you" he said truthfully, his dimples making their appearance. "I'm really proud of her".

"You are?" the man asked.

Now, there were two ways to say those words. One with a genuinely intrigued tone, and one that was looking to offend. In this case, given not only his tone but also the way his eyebrows had raised in impression, it had been clear to everyone present that his intention had been the latter.

"I am" he stated simply, hoping that would be as much as the host would say about the topic before he moved on to the next one.

It was not.

"Don't you ever wish you were with someone more successful though?"

Namjoon's jaw tightened visibly, his eyes turning colder. "What does that even mean?"

"I'm just saying, you're Kim Namjoon" the man shifted on his seat. "Worldwide known idol, producer, rapper… whereas she's just… ordinary".

The way he had said that last word made it seem like being like that was the worst of things, and Namjoon did not like it one bit.

"Her achievements are just as important as mine" he was fast to talk in your defence. "Just because she isn't a part of the idol industry doesn't mean her dreams and passions are any less worthy of recognition than mine".

That alone had the interviewer apologising in a second, realising then how bad he had messed up. Because, in all honesty, Namjoon couldn't really care any less about you being famous or not – he would always be proud of you and your achievements no matter what.

Park Jimin

"Ah, Park Jimin!" the host exclaimed after a picture of you had popped up on the screen in between them. "You really got lucky with this one, didn't you?"

That sure did bring a bright smile to his lips, for he absolutely lived for these moments, when people acknowledged how beautiful you were.

Nonetheless, that smile of his was soon erased when the same guy added: "You should control her more, though".

With that and a frown adorning your boyfriend's face, the picture previously displaying on the screen was gone and replaced with one of you in a night dress from two days ago instead.

"Control her more?" Jimin asked through gritted teeth.

"Yeah" he nodded his head. "She has a boyfriend now, she can't go around looking that hot, it might get the wrong attention".

Now, Jimin himself hadn't really liked it when you went out dressed like that, but he was your boyfriend, so he did have some kind of right to feel a little jealous of other guys thirsting over his girlfriend when she was out alone with her friends, didn't he?

This guy, however? Neither what he said was appropriate on so many levels, nor did he have the right to talk about you and your outfit like that.

"I think you should think before you speak and induce people to have unhealthy relationships" your boyfriend spoke in a low, calm voice.

Controlling you? What kind of bullshit was that?

"Come on now, I was joking" the man brushed it off with a laugh, and a very nervous one at that.

"Were you really?" Jimin raised one of his eyebrows, not believing a word. "Even if you were" he went on before the guy could open his mouth to reply, "you should maybe reflect on yourself and, instead of telling me how to treat my girlfriend because of how provocative she looks, think of why you, a guy who's over his forties, thinks that way of someone who could easily be his daughter".

He had not been rude. He had not raised his voice. Yet he did somehow manage to look so fucking scary to the man in front.

Kim Taehyung

"Y/N?" the interviewer asked in disbelief, only to scoff after receiving a nod of confirmation from Tae. "Of course she'd end up with one of you guys".

Not only did Taehyung's eyebrows furrow in that moment, but so did everyone else's – his members exchanging dumbfounded looks as your boyfriend looked to the guy in front dead in the eye.

"One of us?"

"Mhm" the guy replied simply. "She always seems to be with whoever is the most famous at the moment, so..." he shrugged.

"She's only been with other two people?" Taehyung raised one of his eyebrows.

"Who just so happened to be the moment's sensation" he reminded him. "And now she's with you".

"You can't help who you fall for" your boyfriend's stare became colder by the second.

"She's just going to break things off with you as soon as your moment of fame passes".

That was it.

"Okay, no" his voice came out like pure venom. "If she broke up with them, it's merely because they were both complete assholes to her".

"Taehyung…" Namjoon discreetly squeezed his wrist from his side.

"No, hyung" he shook his head before fixing his enraged eyes back on the interviewer. "She's the sweetest person there is, it's not her fault us guys fall for her. And it's not her fault either to have dated guys who don't deserve her. She did well to dump them, and I know she won't leave me just because of my fame's status".

And then, as everyone in the room remained silent, being absolutely perplexed by such situation, he shook his head in disappointment once again at the sight of the guy's desperate attempt to come up with something else to say.

"You know" he beat him to it, "for such an overrated interviewer, you are so goddamn misinformed".

Good thing this would get bleeped out by the editors later, that if they ever wanted this to air at all.

Jeon Jeongguk

"It's been a while since we last were together, hasn't it?" the host spoke after they had all sat down on the sofa placed in front of her. "A lot has happened since then…" a cheeky grin curved up her lips when her eyes fell on Jeongguk, "like the maknae finally getting himself a girlfriend?"

A shy bunny smile didn't wait to part Guk's lips, meanwhile his six hyungs started being chaotic like they, by this point, always were.

"He did" Namjoon was the one to answer for him, fondly patting his shoulder.

"Well, congratulations! It was about time you got someone" the woman said with a smile. "Though I must admit I never thought I'd see you with someone like her".

Your boyfriend's previous smile was replaced by slightly parted lips. "Someone like her?"

"I mean" the woman tried to get her point across, "you've said multiple times that IU is your ideal type, and Y/N's just…" she scrunched her nose in a displeased manner, "she's not exactly…"

Oh, no. There was no way in hell Jeongguk was letting her finish that sentence; the idea itself making him mad. That was the reason his shy side was long gone, being replaced by his protective one instead, which had quickly taken over him.

"She's stunning" Guk spoke in a low, determined voice. "IU is just a celebrity crush. Y/N's the woman I am in love with" he established without hesitation. "I really don't understand why you're bringing this up".

Although taken aback by Jeongguk's sudden way with his words, not having expected such outburst coming from the quietest member when it came to interviews, the woman went on:

"I'm just sayin–"

"No" Guk cut her off, shaking his head hastily, "you have nothing to say about my preferences, you don't get a say on us".

End of conversation.

[092219archive]

i’ve been watching ffxiv cutscenes for the main story (pushing thru heavensward right now) and i’ve been thinking of stuff for my wol lately so i guess now’s a good time to introduce them a bit :-)

here’s a link to the og meme: Self Insert Development Meme

1. Does your insert have a name that’s different from yours? Does the name reflect their character in any way, or is it just because it sounds nice? How did you come up with it?

wol’s currently nameless... i can’t use with the usual “eren” as per the naming conventions of each ffxiv race (i will use wol!eren to indicate, well, My WoL). maybe if i wanted them to be a hyur i’d be able to, but i’ve been hopping back and forth between aura (raen) or viera (veena)...

edit (8/4): i keep forgetting to update this lmfao,, but my wol’s name is momo and they’re an aura (raen)!

2. Does your insert have a very strong relationship with a f/o, maybe more than one? Tell us a little about the dynamic they have! This can be a bond that’s romantic, familial, or platonic, anything - even an enemy would count as a strong relationship!

there’s only maybe one person who’s aware of the character(s) that i’m maybe. MAYBE. maybe. looking at (eros Do Not Interact). no names as i refuse to acknowledge/perceive them in any manner.

but, the relationship’s still in the works,, i’m thinking it’s a lot of it’s gonna have to focus on positions of power/hierarchies... maybe a bit of slowburn... for spice.

i feel like any rom relationship i could build might. be slow burn. oops!

3. Who in their canon are they closest to? Who would they drop everything to come help, if anyone? Who’s the person they’re least close to? Who would they most likely not get along with, if anyone?

in terms of story, i think wol!eren’s really close to alphinaud; i get familial vibes from him (and actual wol spends a very large chunk of time with him as well)... but personally, i’m thinking estinien. yea he’s a bit of an asshat but he’s cool (but ig that makes wol!eren a bit of an asshat too)

when it comes to who wol!eren’s not close with... honestly, anyone that abuses their position of power for selfish and harmful reasons at the expense of people go on the hit list. but even then, if the character’s one of the main characters/shown often then it’s like... i’d have to think about it a little more. happens a lot

4. Does your insert have a backstory? Tell us about it! How does their backstory, if any, define who they are? How does it reflect their relationships now? Their hopes and dreams?

hmm much like my other s/is, wol!eren delves on their past often despite their preaching of looking forward. a hypocrite they are!! (/s) a lot of my self ships also delve on like. “same hat” so... honestly they’re just kinda going with the flow and walking wherever they feel is an easy path. they’re a pretty passive person despite the role they’ve been given.

5. Does your insert have any magical talents or otherwise special abilities? Are they passive, like the ability to befriend animals, or dangerous power that the villains want? Or if they're evil - any powers the heroes want to stop?

as per the narrative, they were chosen by hydaelyn and have the echo. however, they’re also extremely perceptive. they can typically tell whether someone has good intentions or not. the issue is that it’s always a feeling and they usually don’t have anything to prove their claims. as a result, they rarely say anything about it. it's not really a “power” but it can certainly be helpful.

6. Do they fight? What’s their weapon of choice? Do they stay on the sidelines? What would it take for them to get off the sidelines? Revenge? Saving a loved one? What’s the motivation for them to fight, or to stay OUT of a fight?

i plan on wol!eren being a summoner! or maybe not exactly a summoner, but something to do with magic being used offensively. they hate getting their hands dirty so they’ll just blow you up instead.

they mainly fight because it’s their duty/obligation to fight, but had they not been in the position they were, they’d have sooner leave combat and live off the grid. nobody really knows this because they never voice it -- it also wouldn’t be good for a warrior of light to say “yea i hate my job and i don’t really care about some of you”, you know?

(7/18) edit: with the help of my ffxiv mutuals, i’ve decided to make wol!eren a black mage :) it’s definitely fitting for their character.

7. What kind of clothing style do they like? What would they never be caught dead wearing? What’s likely in their closet right now?

REALLY DARK CLOTHING. if they show any skin when they don’t have to, they’ll Perish. i intend for them to wear the void ark clothing for magic users but much like everything else, that’s subject to change. clothing that’s aesthetically pleasing and easy on the eyes is good.

8. How do they fit into their canon world? What’s their role to play, if any? Do they have a big destiny? Or do they more live as a side character that’s helpful for the protagonists/antagonists?

literally the protagonist but very much desires to be a side character. because they like playing a supporting role more than the main role, they live in “anonymity.” kinda. it’s just hard when the group you’re apart of and gods?? know literally just about everything you’ve been doing.

9. Their favorite foods? Colors? Activities? What do they enjoy in life? How do they express their joy for things they like?

they will. eat just about anything they’re given, even if the food’s not super great (like a raccoon.....). they don’t really have any particular favorites and if they do, it’s likely to be meat or basic, easy-to-make dishes.

just anything that’s dark/muted. color colors (blues, purples, etc.) are their favorite.

they very much enjoy doing absolutely nothing, especially now that they’re so busy with working. if they’re free from work even if it’s just for a few seconds, you will find them sleeping. Lazy

if they like something, they’d never say it out right. extremely private and closed off person, so unless you’re really close with them, you’d never know if they truly liked something.

10. Their least favorites? What don’t they enjoy in life? How do they deal with being presented with things they don’t like?

literally just anything that inconveniences them. they want things to run smoothly so they don’t have to deal with anything they don’t have to. when something arises that stops them from fulfilling their duties, they’re get irritated. they also just, not the biggest fan of people and socializing.

11. How easy is it to make your insert angry? Sad? How easy is it to twist their emotions into negative things? By contrast, how easy are they to cheer up? What can brighten a bad day?

they’re easily prone to negative emotions, but it’s not “major/serious” since they’re mostly out of touch with their emotions anyhow. if it gets really bad, they kinda “shut down.”

one way to get under their skin is confront them about personal matters, but you can cheer them up if you have a good sense of humor! alphinaud’s helped with that, albeit unintentionally more often than not.

12. Is your insert a loner, or do they prefer crowds? Do they warm up easily, or do they tend to take longer to befriend others? What kinda people do they get along with? Who are they likely to be uncomfortable with?

i think i did mention earlier that wol!eren really doesn’t like crowds. it takes them a very long time to genuinely consider someone as a friend. sometimes they might not even acknowledge someone even if said person tries their hardest to befriend them. and there’s not really a type of person who they’re really “uncomfortable” with (spoilers they’re always uncomfortable with everything asjfhsd), but i guess if i had to answer, it’s just anybody with potentially harmful intentions?

they have. Trust Issues™, if you will.

13. What are your insert’s goals? Their hopes and dreams for the past/future/present! Do they intend to achieve no matter what? Could anything stop them, big or small?

in the past, they wanted to live a comfortable life as a recluse where they can do things without the eyes of others watching... and they still do, but now they’re too accustomed by the presence of people to truly achieve that. after their duties as a wol (if they’re ever completed honestly), they’d probably pull a cloud final fantasy and start a delivery service or something like that LOL

14. Does your insert have any family relations? How do they get along? How do they disagree? Is it a biological family? Adopted? Or is it found family? How did this family come together, if it was one of the last two?

sssomething like that? so far i’m thinking they come from a family of arooound 5. 2 siblings + parents. they have a younger sibling who’s a miqo bard mercenary and an older elezen (?) astrologian currently working somewhere in ishgard. debating on who their parents are but all of them were kinda... “picked up” and put into a family.

the “parental figures” were desperate to have a family but they had little knowledge of how to care for children. needless to say, the environment was not one to flourish in.

miqo brd is kinda like robin hood where he steals from the upper class to give to the poor because he refuses to allow people who’re in need suffer due to a lack of resources. on the other hand, the ast is the elezen who wants nothing but peace. the downside is that he’s very aggressive with his ideals and follows people like the archbishop, thordan.

edit (7/18): wol!eren wasn’t tied to their family biologically, but due to their questionable actions and words, they cut ties with their family and started traveling alone. it was extremely difficult but because they didn’t stay in confines of their own home, they were able to meet the scions and the not.

alphinaud and alisaie are like their siblings. they share a surprisingly a deep, unspoken familial bond with the three because of all the adventures they went on together. wol!eren’s been caught acting like an older sibling to the two.

15. Does your insert have any enemies? What’s that dynamic like? Why are they enemies? Did they ever get along in the past? Is patching up differences out of the question for the future?

much like the actual in-game wol, i’d imagine that anybody that wants to stop the wol in their tracks are considered “enemies.” i haven’t gotten that far into ffxiv to really name characters though,, tba.....

16. Free question space! Ask whatever you want to know!

if ur into ffxiv and u’ve gotten this far down... thank u :) and talk to me abt ur wols or ur ffxiv faves in my inbox maybe?? 👀

[elizabethrobertajones]

Ok so if all four of them are gonna be in a *cowboy themed* motel in 13x6 they're gonna have to split up 2 and 2 right??? So I'm really gonna need Dean and Cas to share a room and then have a convo that's reverse of the "Talk to me" one in S8 where instead they talk about how they both did feel suicidal but how they've both overcome it. ~For reasons unknown~

That would be great mirroring, and it’s always good to compare the fun episodes where things seem back to normal to 8x08… However… Sorry, but this is a bummer reply, I’m just not good with leaving off things like this :P

I sort of feel though that neither Dean or Cas got to completely overcome things in their respective paths through dark other worlds… Cas said he’d just keep fighting and even if the standing up was an important part, he acknowledged he was going back with a sense of hopelessness that he’d get what he truly wants - and that’s just how it was in the Empty, while it sounds like he may have forgotten the experience so it’s for now a metaphorical state he passed through and we got to see it vocalised and it probably means roughly where he’s up to. But the despair of resolution, the fact need/want has been called out for US to know it’s a major theme but Cas of course hasn’t actually talked face to face with any Winchester, let alone Dean, to resolve need/want, which is the core of his depression, thematically… He’s come back with levelled up determination and a will to live, which is great, but there’s so much work to do before he feels happy even if he DOES remember the Empty. I’ve written ridiculously long things tracking his arc so I’ll just say that this was a great step forwards for him but in no way actually resolving anything. 

For Dean as well, Billie sent him back but it was with the “work to do” order/motivation that’s made Dean and Sam power through a lot of their worst times, and like how in the Empty nothing new was actually said about Cas, it just brought everything up that was troubling him so we’d get a sample of how he feels, that was just repeating the theme for Dean that he started this season on - that at best he’s going to feel like a guy doing his job, because someone more important than him told him he had to and he can’t stop now. 

Billie’s words are the sort of advice he got in season 7 after Cas (and then Bobby) died, from Bobby, Frank and Eliot Ness, all of which was a variation of the same sort of nihilism about doing the job because it’s the job and you’re the one who does it. I’m in most agreement with the meta I’ve seen that Dean didn’t go into that whole mess looking for a reason to die, he just was in that state Bobby described: 

BOBBY:I want to talk about your new party line.

DEAN:Party? What are you talking about? I don’t even vote.

BOBBY:“The world’s a suicide case. We save it, it just steals more pills”?

DEAN:Bobby, I’m here, okay? I’m on the case. What’s the problem?

BOBBY:I’ve seen a lot of hunters live and die. You’re starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean.

DEAN:No, I’m talking the way a person talks when they’ve had it, when they can’t figure out why they used to think all this mattered.

I’m picking on this conversation because it’s the most detailed but also because it’s the one Dean has WITH Bobby so in no way shape or form can it be about Dean losing Bobby, except that of course this episode gave Dean and Sam both a private conversation with Bobby about where they were at, so we could have a good last moment with him each, and also to gauge how they’d react to his death (Dean with this massive depression caused by losing Cas and his betrayal to pile on top of) and Bobby’s last advice apply after as well. His advice being:

BOBBY:Come on, now. You tried to hang it up and be a person with Lisa and Ben. And now here you are with a mean old coot and a van full of guns. That ain’t person behavior, son. You’re a hunter, meaning you’re whatever the job you’re doing today. Now, you get a case of the Anne Sextons, something’s gonna come up behind you and rip your fool head off. Now, you find your reasons to get back in the game. I don’t care if it’s love or spite or a ten-dollar bet. I’ve been to enough funerals. I mean it. You die before me, and I’ll kill you.

Cheery. 

But this is essentially what Billie does for Dean. She reads him, sees he wants to die, and he tells her that he doesn’t matter, so she reassures him that he has a job, that he is important, that he’s in this cosmic position of responsibility. It would almost be encouraging, to know you’re not meant to die that day, that there is a reason for you to be alive. But not for Dean in the state he was in then.

Cas coming back is GREAT and of course it’s going to make Dean wildly happy. But he’s been feeling this way about the job a long, long time in ways that aren’t to do with Cas at all but is just his underlying major trauma that you can see coming from a hundred miles off in season 1:

from 2x09:

DEANI’m tired, Sam. I’m tired of this job, this life … this weight on my shoulders, man. I’m tired of it.

[…]

DEANI just think we should take a break from all this. Why do we gotta get stuck with all the responsibility, you know? Why can’t we live life a little bit?

Or this speech from 2x20 I contractually have to quote at least once a month as a card-carrying Dean!girl:

DEAN All of them. Everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy and I saved. They’re all dead. And there’s this woman, that’s haunting me. I don’t know why. I don’t know what the connection is, not yet anyway. It’s like my old life is, is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn’t want me to be happy. Course I know what you’d say. Well, not the you that played softball but… “So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people’s lives, no contest. Right?” But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom’s not supposed to live her life, Sammy’s not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It’s… Yeah…

(And, side note, it really annoys me when people make 2x20 about brotherly wuv, platonically or not, because THAT is why Dean decided to go un-wish this life, not because of anything to do with AU Sam, who he still trusted he could find his Sam in >.> I’ll just keep repeating this until I stop stumbling over the idea… :P)

He’s had similar smaller moments like this but season 2, 7 and now 13 are his grief seasons, so I’m most interested in these parallels. Like, just in general. Specifically in season 2 because he was dealing with John’s order to save Sam or kill him, which of course is a dynamic that Jack could horrifyingly repeat for him if Dean gets attached to a kid with the same horrifying destiny. Specifically in season 7 Dean was dealing with losing Cas and it immediately struck him to the core, that even while Cas was still Godstiel he was having mirrors with his season 2 self after losing John:

DEANSounds good. You got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad’s research? Because I sure ain’t. But you know, if we do finally find it - oh. No, wait, like you said. The Colt’s gone. But I’m sure you’ve figured out another way to kill it. We’ve got nothing, Sam. Nothing, okay? So you know the only thing I can do? Is I can work on the car.

[… five years elapse]

SAM: So, what? Try to talk to him again?

DEAN: Sam.

SAM: Dean, all we can do is talk to the guy.

DEAN: He’s not a guy. He’s God. And he’s pissed. And when God gets righteous, you get the hell out of the way; haven’t you read the Bible?

SAM: I guess…

DEAN: Cas is never coming back. He’s lied to us, he used us, he cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk; we have spent enough on him.

SAM: Okay.

DEAN: Hand me that socket wrench.

Dean didn’t lose the car this time, just had Miriam deface it with “Bitch” on the window and the car was washed and shiny in a couple of episodes. But it’s metaphorically a similar process and I guess all they had time for when 13x01 was about taking time in a very different way, by giving Dean like 10 minutes at the end of the episode all about how he was grieving Cas. 

Anyway, I think there’s a lot of thematic overlap in what it means for Dean right now, with Billie’s reminder of his position on the cosmic ladder, to John’s order about Sam, to Dean’s responsibility to deal with Cas and the Leviathans, which eventually crystallises into his mission to kill Dick - and though Dick kills Bobby, finding out who is the head leviathan in 7x09 really just seals the deal of who Dean needs to personally kill to deal with everything, and the Bobby thing was just an extra motivation to fall into a revenge mindset, but it also about what happened with Cas (and when Cas comes back, he has to help kill Dick for the same reason it all happened to him and he was connected to it and responsible). 

We really haven’t seen anything yet, but I think getting Cas back is a temporary fix at least to a bigger issue, which is Dean’s burden of the world, which Chuck lumped on him in 11x23 and made me very, very excited that Dean’s duty to save everyone was hopefully going to get some microscopic treatment and maybe one day some sort of resolution. I don’t think Billie’s comment was a pick me up, and it reminds me of how Cas started picking on Dean on Heaven’s behalf in 4x01 - telling him they had work for him. In 4x02 Dean complains a lot about how he hates being singled out and it’s absolutely horrifying that he was saved for unknown reasons. And those reasons turned out to be being Michael’s vessel and one of the 2 grenade pins needed to be pulled on the planet being destroyed.

(Which we have some handy visuals for and reminders of in the AU world right now :P) 

I’d hope in the long run Chuck’s orders end up being destroyed as much as John’s were, because the parallel is 1 to 1 except bigger scale, and Chuck telling Dean the world has him to protect it literally in God’s own place is an absolutely horrifying unfair burden than broke him in season 5 and can be directly equated to how season 2 broke him when Sam, who was basically his whole world at the time, was lumped on him with the same burden. In the mean time, Billie’s adding to the weight on Dean, although long run she’s neutral, commenting on it rather than ordering, and seems to have some confidence that he has a purpose and will fulfil it, I can see Dean struggling with it in just the same way he took Cas’s comments in 4x01. 

So even if he seems happy to get Cas back, the root problem of his depression, his sense of being worthless, is still truly about how he defines himself as a hunter and the guy who is supposed to save everyone - who will trade himself for a house of random ghosts he feels he LET DOWN by not investigating well enough sooner. Because he has sole responsibility to fix the planet.

The job is killing Dean literally and metaphorically, and the grief of losing all his loved ones as they do it is just an additional awful, awful part of it. Not getting Cas back immediately thanks to Chuck in 13x01 just confirmed how alone Dean is in the world to him, and he directly mentioned the line from 11x23 when reaching out to Chuck… Getting Cas back and Cas returning seemingly on his own steam is going to be a nice turning point, and good for uplifting Dean, but the core problem remains and since 11x23 I’ve been pretty certain that Dean’s endgame is NOT to be a hunter… Billie also now makes me think he has some purpose to fulfil, and ideally, fulfilling it would let him finally get off the cosmic ladder and be who he wants to be without obligation. 

About all I can really speculate about that hopeful endgame would be that Sam seems to be lumped in with Dean on this, but Cas is literally outside the system based on how he got himself back from the Empty without Chuck’s interference, OR except for in thematic “rewards” or dramatic irony from just missing him really hard, Dean didn’t actually bring him back by DOING anything, and Jack, who is also outside the system in some ways, did instead. But that’s all a huge mess right now :P Need more data. 

So anyway, to go back to Dean and Cas next episode? I think they will have a lot to talk about but it has to be immediate character stuff about their actions and desires. They are both really good for each other and going through very similar emotional territory so I hope they get honest and tell each other how they’re doing, but I don’t think they’ll be talking about overcoming anything. I think if it does mirror 8x08 it MAY be a reversal that Dean admits how bad he was doing without Cas, and Cas is still too uncertain about what happened to him or with a link to make it directly about Dean to reciprocate the sentiment… For all the good communication lately I’m not entirely sure if Dean and Cas can absolutely knock down all the walls. 

And I seriously fear dramatic interruptions to their reconciliation just because of the extremely vague episode descriptions we have after 13x06, which seem to  be concealing exactly what happens in that episode… I’m really expecting silly cowboys for like the middle half of the episode, with the first quarter for reconciliation and getting onto the job, and the last quarter or five minutes for shit to completely hit the fan in some way, probably about Jack, and probably involving Cas since he’s specifically not mentioned in the episode descriptions *even though they just got him back*. 

I’m not worried or wanky about this, I’m just bracing myself for the next round of drama and what its subject will be. If Cas is fine and hanging out with the Winchesters still for 2 episodes and it was redacted spoilers for the sake of 13x05′s last 5 minutes that’s awesome :P But it sounds like time to brace yourself not to expect everything to be fluffy or resolved, either with plot stuff, or emotional arcs. We’re only 5 episodes in so the drama needs to keep on happening, and there’s no way Dean and Cas can or should overcome their arcs about their depression when it’s been set up so interestingly, just because they’re hanging out again.

But it WILL make them feel a lot better in the short term. :D I’m really excited for what they WILL say to each other, I just feel like in some ways we’re really starting to put the cart before the horse on identifying what stories are being told and what moments are being offered to tell them, and assuming the stories are over just because something really dramatic happened. I’m seeing it a lot with all sorts of thematic threads, that just because they’re becoming obvious or surface level or have had a really dramatic moment all about them, they’re being wrapped up as we speak. Instead I think it’s got to all be set up for the rest of the season, where this is all important stuff to know, but the real work hasn’t even begun yet :P