#but then i went to get them apart and the paper teared and i cant stop staring at it with literal sadness plooding in me

[mosviqu]

im this close to tears because one of my favorite sketchbook pages got ruined my heart is so heavy

[bloodthirstybatty]

Downpour

💛 ~~~~~~~~~💛

Leona x reader

Hurt/comfort

Disclaimer: I have dyslexia, given that my writing can suck. Please be mindful of this, thank you!🙏❤️

TW: depression and mention of suicide.

A/N

I was originally going to make this a multi-character fanfic but I realized with my dyslexia it's easier for me to only write for one character. I picked Leona because I find comfort in him so it's a bit of a self-insert/vent fanfic of how I would feel if I was yuu.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Downpour

It was raining cats and dogs, you ran fast trying not to trip and fall from the slick ground. You decided your best chance is to run to the botanical garden since it was close by, you turn left and blotted towards the door of the garden.

Catching your breath, you look around to see the rain hit the dome of the gardens, it was beautiful and peaceful. Walking you think about what earlier, you and Crowley got into a disagreement, the showers were getting less hot from the boiler being ancient and your flip phone was cutting off all the Time, so you went to Crowley to ask for an upgrade. He then called you ungrateful and that you should be more understanding on how hard he is working to get you home, that you should realize that your stuff cost school money, and that you could have been on the streets if it wasn't for his kindness... You were tried, very tried. Not just from the argument you had with Crowley but everything, school, tasks from Crowley, ramshackle falling apart, over lots, being belittled for not having magic, etc... You were depressed, you felt alone and felt that nobody truly had your back, even grim sometimes.

You continued to walk around the garden when you spotted a certain someone's tail, it was Leona's. There he lay asleep, peacefully snoring, you stared for a minute before you decide to sit next to him so you could have some company while doing your homework. As you were doing your work you couldn't stop crying a little, tears fell and hit your paper and you sniffle causing the lion next to you to stir in his sleep. you got startled by it, you thought you awakened the lion, you started to hypervalent, you didn't want to cause your hyperventilation to fasten, you started to cry from it, you were freaking out, you were having a panic attack. Just then the lion next to you arose, however, you didn't notice he did.

"Are you crying?", "huh?" you froze, you thought you just made another person mad at you. "are you crying?" he repeated, "i- a no, no I'm not," you said in a panic. "yes you are I can see it, you have tear stains on your homework" "I'm fine, it's just allergy" "no it's not your having a panic attack, your heart is racing and your shaking like a leaf" "i-" you couldn't get any words out, your panicking started to worsen. Leona shifted his body he was now close to you, he looked into your eyes "tell me" you stared into his eyes stunned, you could believe it, leona king scholar was considered for you, generally considered! He was the first person that saw your true discomfort. Taking a deep breath you began to speak.

"i-i, sorry" you took another deep breath to get rid of the frog in your throat, talking about feelings was hard for you, you never really talked to anyone about them in your life, and you mostly found ways to overcome your feelings. "so?" "did you and grim get in a fight?" looking back up to leona you said "no, no I and grim are fine, we didn't get into an argument, actually me and that damn bird did" you huffed. "what did that bird do to you to be all worked up?" your tears started again, just thinking about it was tough. "he called me ungrateful! I just went to him because my water was not getting hot and my phone is a busted piece of crap, then he called me ungrateful, and that he had to spend school money to get me those things. He also said he cant solve every lotion of mine since he's already trying to solve how to get me home!" your voice was now horses from your ranting, but you didn't feel better from it. "your not ungrateful herb- uh y/n" you bit your lip and looked away "maybe I am, tho.. Like I could have been in the streets, if it wasn't for Crowley" "no your not! Stop saying dumb things" "im sorry" you mumbled. Still crying you turned back to leona he look serious, a different kind of serious unlike usual. "I can tell you have more to say, this isn't all that's troubling you, go on spill" "that's true there is more.." "well?"

You fiddled around trying to calm down, you knew if you didn't you would sob. You tried to take several deep breaths but you were still shaking so you decided to spill, "im tried!" "im tried of everything!" "im tried of this school, of living in ramshackle, of overblots" you shaking sobbed taking a deep breath you begin to speak again "im tried of always being called hero from saving people from overblots!" "i-i- IM TRIED OF LIVING!" you shouted, "im tried of life, I want to disappear for good, I don't want to be here" you wiped your tears away but they were like a river, sniffling you squeezed you risk to stop you from panicking. You then looked up at leona, you thought you said to much but his eyes were soft, he then spoke "your feelings are valid, you shouldn't have to be going though this, you didn't choose to" he then stood putting his hand out for you, you reached it and he pulled you up into a hug, leona kingscholar was hugging you! You felt relief flow through you, all your worriedness left your body, you felt peace. Leona the pulled way "if anything is troubling you come to me first okay, I'll help you resolve it" "thank you leona" you smiled. He then pulled your hand to make you follow him "the run stopped lets get something to eat, I'll pay."

Later that week you had a better phone and your plumbing was fixed, all thanks to Leona, you felt grateful. You have to now had protect you, you don't have to worry now. Leona and you also stared to hang out more, eating lunch and sitting in the garden.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n

I hope you liked it! I tried to write it on how I thought leona would actually acted in a situation like this, I want to have him pull you down to nap with him but I don't this he's the type to do that unless you were dating. I also know Leona is canonly protecful and keeps his eye out on others, he doesn't say it but he shown sides of it.

If you want me to wrote more stuff then please put in a submission, also comment down below what you thought of the story!! ❤️❤️❤️

[emocka]

Road show

Ft Xiao aether kazuha scaramouche Hiezou and albedo

Childe is mentioned

Event

Scaramouche

Real (fast 9 saga)

Why he was suffering an eight hour drive with child3 was beyond him. But he'd soon be entertained.

'I WANT TO TELL YOU' someone was yelling. He looked out the window which was opened.

A colored hair idiot. Actually a very cute one. They had a septum piercing.

You were throwing the eyeliner in the back which landed in the make up bag perfectly. You continued to sing the song in Spanish.

'IF THIS IS NOT LOVE'

'I call dibs!' Childe said. 'Paper pen find them. I want to give them my number.'

Scara sighed and handed them over. Childe scribbled down the information before honking the horn at you.

You looked in their direction. Reading the paper you smiled.

'SORRY NOT SORRY BUT ILL TAKE THE CUTE ONES NUMBER THOUGH'

As soon as the words went past your lips scara snatched the pen and paper from childe and scribbled his number down. You smiled putting it in your phone.

*hi! I'm y/n*

He smiled while childe cried.

(The first date was a disaster but he still got the kiss)

Heizou

Rapido (fast 9 saga)

Heizou was next to you at the light while you were belting out the lyrics. At first he couldn't make out what the noise was. Upon rolling his window down he looked at you.

You had gradient (color) hair flowing in the wind. You were tossing a jacket in the back. Something to burn later to prove your were done with your ex.

Heizou?

He was admiring you. Suddenly the light turned green. You took off.

No he couldn't loose you. He landed following you honking to get your attention. It worked.

With a paper and pen he wrote down his number. You smiled winked at him before entering it in your phone.

Safe to say you message him later.

(You also donated the jacket after Hiezou convinced you not to burn it)

Aether

Ocean to ocean (pitbull and rhea)

'THERES NOTHING THAT A HUNDRED MEN OR MORE COULD EVER DO' You sang.

Aether was having a bad. He just wanted to go home but he was stuck it traffic.

'I BLESS THE RAIN DOWN IN AFRICA I BLESS THE RAIN'

At first he was mad. Then he looked over. His jaw dropped. Next to him was the most beautiful creature he has ever seen.

Your hair gently flowing down your back. You had a rescued puppy in your lap. The puppy very excited.

He honked at you. You looked at him. He waved his phone you grabbed yours and opened the camera. Zooming in you took a picture of his number.

You texted him later that night with a selfie of yourself and the puppy.

(He's your first boyfriend)

Xiao

My songs know (fall out boys)

'BE CAREFUL MAKING WISHES IN THE DARK'

Xiao looked around. Someone was singing and it was annoying. He looked over and saw you.

'DREAMING OF TEARING YOU APART'

You had long black hair clearly dye. You had what appeared to be three or four piercings. He honked his horn at you.

You ignore it turning the volume all the way up.

He continued to honk at you. Finally enough was enough. He air dropped a message on your phone which was connected to the radio.

'WHO EVER DECIDED TO AIRDROP....oh your cute'

He airbdropped his number along with a message.

You smiled and waved. He took off

(You guys ended up sleeping on the first date)

Kazuha

You (Matsushita yuga)case 143 (skz) feels (Pharrell Williams Katy perry and big sean) who knew (p!nk)

He had been watching the little concert for the last fifteen minutes.

'WHATCHA GONNA DO TONIGHT FOR SOMEBODY' You sang out.

Traffic jam. You were bouncing in the car having fun. Kazuha smiled as you continued the song in Japanese. Every time someone told you to shut up he'd honk the horn. No one was ruining this for him.

'YOU....YOU...' You sang out more continuing in Japanese.

He smiled as the song in as you started the next song.

'NO NOTHING EVER LAST FOREVER I KNOW' You decided that you wouldn't be moving the next twenty minutes (ita true).

Suddenly your session was interrupted.

'HEEEEY' You whined. You hung up. 'Oh come one now I cant...oh!'

Kazuha looked at you in shock as you sang in perfect Korean.

He should ask for your number. He really should. If he had you in the car this would be more frequent.

Yoy accidently skipped the song.

'Darn it I should get premium now. Oooh!! My favorite'

He couldn't hear you as you bent over to the back looking for something.

'IF SOMEONE SAID THREE YEARS FROM NOW'

Kazuha smiled before honking to get your attention. It took a few minutes till you looked over at him. You paused the music.

'CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER?' He yelled.

You smiled and hoped you air dropped to the right person. He smiled as the message showed up.

(First date was karaoke)

Albedo

Mrs. Right (mindless behavior ft diggy simmons)

'BUT I BET YOU DO' Albedo looked over as you pulled next to him. He studied you for a bit.

'WHERE IS MRS. RIGHT? I GOTTA SEE HER' He wondered why you were singing.

'DO NOT TOUCH THAT BUTTON OR I KICK YOU FROM MY CAR!'

He jumped when you started talking. Your friend? Boyfriend? Was trying to shut off the radio.

'But come on you suck at singing.... I'll shut up'

You must have given a look or something cause the passenger went quiet.

Albedo began to notice your features more. Hair secured in a complications bun. A daith piercing in your left ear. You had some bags under your eyes. You looked very tired but happy.

He decided to honk his horn to get your attention. It worked. But your passenger beat you to the curb.

'Hey cutie' they said.

'BOOK A FLIGHT TO LONDON' You sang out.

'Klee please tell them I want the driver not the passenger.'

Klee nodded.

'My big brother bedo says he want to talk to the pretty driver. He has a-'

'Klee no!'

'Crush on you' She said excited to help her big brother.

You blushed pushing your friend away from you. Albedo on the other hand was hitting the steering wheel.

You grabbed some paper and a pen. Writing down your number you manged to pass it to the little girl. Albedo sped off.

'Oh' you made a sad face 'guess it was a lie'

'You'll get em next time' your brother said.

(He called you and apologized)

[justcallmedust]

Maybe one day someone will read this that isnt a bot.

I am experiencing numbness in my face, on the right side, from my eye and behind it all the way down my cheek to the right nostril, corner of my mouth down to the jaw. This has been happening for a few months now. The toes on my right foot are also experiencing random numbness, only the smaller 3 tho.

I know these things could be associated with the Epstein Barr, Hypothyroidism or even the Lupus. I can't see a doctor about it so I wont every know for sure but its concerning because my father has diabetes and he experiences foot numbness also.

Yesterday the invitation for my youngest brother in law's wedding came and along with it was an invite to a bridal shower. When I saw it I felt my throat begin to close, I had to stop what I was doing and sit down because vertigo was right behind me. Once i regained control of myself, my first instinct was to tear them both up. I mean, theres no way I could possibly go to either of these things. The cost alone for nice clothing for 6 people would exceed a mortgage payment.. like how could we even? But its so much more than that.

I absolutely hate weddings, I think it is the most ridiculous and uneccesary thing people waste time and money on. I never would have gotten married myself if it werent for all the shit we went through with the custody battle between ourselves and my step-sons grandparents. NONE of which was even worth it, we should have just walked away - everything would be different now. But thats moot. Had that whole shit show not happened I would not be married right now, because it was, and is an outdated and useless tradition.

But its more than that too; I had no bridal shower, didnt receive any gifts.. I didnt even invite anyone to our wedding and it stands firm as one of the worst days of my life - and not just because I got married - it was an actual shit show of a day. We got married in the apartment we lived in at the time on one of the hottest days of that year, it was over 100 degrees and the cake my mother in law brought with her melted before we even said I do. I didnt even want a wedding, I wanted to sign the paper and just call it a day because it meant nothing to me. My mother in law happened to be ordained to perform marriages and instead of just signing that stupid paper she had to bring a wedding to my house. Only one of my friends came because I needed a witness to also sign the paper so I only invited her - we don't even talk anymore, she ghosted me about 10 years ago. Thanks for that btw KS. Right after we said I do, the snotty teenager shouted "what the heck was that" and I will never forget the sound of his winey little shit voice. Some of the local riff raff came over and it eventualy turned into a not nice party. The husband was shitfaced and eventually became abusive once everyone left and then passed out on the living room floor angry with me - as usual. No one that was there is part of our lives anymore, aside from his mother and my parents.. and our kids of course.

I have gone through phases where I wished I could have had a nice wedding with someone I loved surrounded by loved ones, but now I know I've run out of time for that. In the years that passed I attended the wedding of a friend I still am in contact with.. tho I never contact her because she's a lot and I burnt out on our friendship years ago. But I care about her and I just leave it where it is.. but the wedding was highly triggery and I knew then that I could not put myself through that again. Maybe if one of my kids gets married.. I dunno. All I do know is, I cannot handle the mental olypics I need to do to be ok at an even like this. So many things and emotions running through my head, I simply don't belong there. Also, at some point I will no longer be family to them and they wont even want the memory or pictures of me there ruining their happy day. I cant even smile with this mouth full of broken teeth..

I don't care if they hate me or if everyone thinks I'm wrong for not going. I can't do it.

[bibs-world]

Promises | 2

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

Words: it's worth many tears, so yeah

Summary: Max finds out what's going on and all hell breaks loose...

Warnings: Ansgt (from me definitely), sadness, heartbreak, tears and mention of a heart disease

Notes: i'm sorry again, i wrote this very late like it's 4 a.m rn and i hope it breaks ur heart in a good way and raises your standards past the roof

Part 1

"Hey, Checo!" Max ran after his teammate, catching up with him as Sergio slowed down, waiting for the Dutch man. "Something's been up with Y/N, don't you think?" He asked him, removing his cap and adjusting it before putting it on again.

The Mexican's eyes widened at the man before him. He shrugged, smiling at him. "She's your girlfriend, mate. I don't know." He chuckled, continuing on his walk towards his car.

"But, you definitely know something. I know you know something, Checo. Give me anything, please." Max begged him. He's been trying to extract whatever it is from you but you'd simply shake your head at him and go on about your things, completely ignoring him.

He had a feeling that there was something with you physically. You're almost always cold now, puking has become your best companion in the morning and you get dizzy and lose your footing a lot, thankfully Max is always there now to catch you.

These were all symptoms for one thing, it made him giddy in his stomach for the mere idea in it, but he didn't wanna make up imaginary things, so the only thing to do is try to get it out of the one person who apparently knows; Sergio.

"I cant-"

"Is she pregnant?"

Sergio frowned at the man, stopping in his tracks as his face scrunche up. "What?"

Max shrugged nervously. "Jesus, Checo. She has morning sickness, gets dizzy a lot and she's cold all the time now. It's almost as if she's pregnant, mate. If she is just tell me and I'll act surprised when she tells me, I swear." He rambled, the excitement flashing in his eyes making Sergio's heart ache for the two.

"You love her a lot, no?" He placed his hand on Max's shoulder who looked bewildered at his teammate.

"A lot, man. What are you-"

"Look for her latest health check, Max. I don't know what it is, exactly, but...she's definitely not pregnant. It's something bad. I'm sorry, mate." He patted his shoulder before dropping his hand to his side.

"No, no, it's alright." The disappointment was very evident in Max's voice as he nodded at the Mexican before he turned around to gather his things so he'd leave and try to figure this whole thing out.

***

He'd won in Monza and now you were back in Monaco. Your condition seemed to worsen, but you were still alive, so it wasn't that bad. You were laying on the couch, too tired to even fetch yourself a bottle of water, but the doctor said you'd get better, so you still had hope.

Max, on the other hand, had seemingly lost his mind. He called the doctors that you'd known and went to before, and they said they hadn't seen you since the last check, which the both of you were at. All that's left to do was maybe look for some papers around the apartment that could have the solution for his torment, and that's what he'd been doing all morning.

And he found them.

He immediately sent pictures of the papers to a close friend who was a doctor and all he had to do now was wait till they replied. And what could he do while waiting?

"Schat!" He called out for you, coming out into the living room of your shared apartment and immediately finding you on the couch.

You smiled up at him as he approached you, crouching down before you. "Do you need anything?" He asked you sweetly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You nodded, shutting your eyes in bliss at the warmth of his hand on your skin. "Water." You rasped out as he caressed your skin gently

You couldn't see it, but his heart was cracking slowly at how you looked and felt. You were so cold, it made him sick, sick from worry. He wiped the corner of his eyes, holding back a sniffle before leaning forward and pecking your lips gently.

"Een hele fles water voor mijn lief." A whole bottle of water for my love. He stood up on his feet, going to your room first to grab your favourite blanket then grabbing the water for you.

But, the ding of his phone stopped him middway to you.

"Y/N." He spoke, voice so vulnerable and scared as he walked towards you again, eyes trained on his phone while he read the words his friends sent him that made him wish he didn't.

You hummed, almost half asleep and not paying much attention to the way he sounded or the way his heart completely shattered in his chest.

- I'm sorry, Max, but I believe your friend has a condition called coronary artery disease.

- It's very dangerous and deadly, so I suggest you spend more time with whoever they are.

He stood in front of you, slowly lowering his phone onto the coffee table and crouching down in front of you.

"I got you your water." His voice cracked, uncapping the bottle with your blanket thrown over his shoulder.

Your eyes opened slowly, confusion visble all over your face as you sat up slowly. "Are you crying?" You asked him, grabbing the bottle from his hand and bringing it to your lips.

He stared at you. Yes, he was obviously crying. Why would there be salty water running down his face?

"When were you going to tell me?" He asked, so soft and quiet you actually did not catch it through your still sleepy mind.

"What?" You questioned, handing him back the bottle as he capped it.

"When were you going to tell me, Y/N?" His voice raised slightly. He was more angry than upset now. How could you not tell him earlier? Were you even ever planning on telling him? Or were you just gonna keep lying till you were in your grave?

His raised tone was your wake up call, back straightening and eyes opening wide, flickering between his baby blue orbs you were so hopelessly drowning in, surrounded by the red that came with his tears.

"Tell you what?" You asked. You had your suspisions, but you still had to make sure or you'd accidentally tell him.

"Fuck!" He shouted, standing to his feet and pacing away from you, his finger pulling at his hair angrily. "You!" He pointed an accusing finger at you, the tears beyond stoppable, now.

"I trusted you! I trusted you to tell me everything and you told me everything! You did, Y/N! But-But you hid the most important fucking thing from me!" He was enraged, and you were afraid. Of what? You were yet to know.

"Max, calm down, please." Your blurry eyes followed his blurry form, hugging your knees closer to your chest, unable to grab the blanket from off the floor.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! This!" He walked towards the kitchen and walked back almost the same immediate second, throwing down papers on the coffee table before you. "How can I calm down after this?! Tell me!" He leaned down closer to you, finger still pointed accusingly at you. You couldn't help but shut your eyes and lean back, away from him, but there's only so much you could go.

"Open your eyes. Look at me." He demanded, finally calming down, but he was so close to you. "Fucking look at me, Y/N!" He yelled as you opened your eyes immediately, the tears flowing down freely out of both your eyes now. "You..." He trailed off, eyes looking across your face before all his anger perished, sadness and loneliness settling in again.

"Why?" He whispered, dropping to his knees in front of you, still keeping his eyes trained on yours. Neither of you could look away, now. You were both trapped.

You straightened your legs, Max holding onto them as you lowered your feet to the carpeted floor. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" He re-phrased his question, praying to the Lord that he'd get an answer this time that would burn out the fire igniting inside of him.

"I couldn't" You sobbed, shaking your head at him. "I couldn't ruin your happiness, Maxie. That'd be cruel-"

"But, what you did was still cruel, Y/N!" He protested, a raspiness in his voice that proved how desperate and hopeless he was.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to, I just-I couldn't." You placed a hand over your mouth, clenching your eyes shut before you opened them again to meet his broken ones.

"Tell me there's a cure to it, at least." He begged you, his hands gripping your thighs and his head dropping onto your lap.

The sadness could almost be felt throughout the whole city, as if the whole world felt it. The two young hearts slowly tearing away from the cruelty of life and what it'd done to them. It was unsalvageable, one's hope and muse was slipping away from their hand while the other's life was being stolen away from them.

"Please, schatje. Please." He cried in your arms while you sat, unable to give him the answer that he wanted. There wasn't a cure, but you could stall the inevitable end, that was it.

"I can't lose you, not now-not at all. I need you, Y/N, you can't leave me. You promised me you'd never leave, you'd never even think about it! You're breaking your promise, baby, please." Your heart broke away by every word that slipped out of his mouth, your finger slipping into his hair and gently caressing his scalp. That was all you could do, it was pathetic, but he appreciated it, he appreciated every little thing even more now than before. He could lose you at any unpredictable moment and there was so much he wanted to do with you, to you, for you.

"Marry me. Please. Anything." It was an impulsive thing, not the right timing at all, yet he meant it. He'd always dreamed of the perfect woman for him and she was right in front of him and he won't let her go before he'd achieved his goals of making her the happiest, most precious woman that would ever walk the earth.

"Max, no." You shook your head, grabbing his face and making him look at you. "You're not thinking straight."

You were silently begging him to not do this. He'd be wasting himself away for nothing, you were useless now. He deserved better.

He shook his own head as well, fumbling into the pockets of his trousers before he got it out. "I carry it with me everywhere now, but I was too much of a pussy to ask you and I'm not wasting any more time with you, I'll make every second count. Marry me, Y/N. Please. I love you so much." He held out the silver ring for her, his other hand grabbing hers and holding it in his.

"You shouldn't do this, Max. Don't do it. I'm not worth it, I swear."

"I want this, I want you, I need you. It's only you and it will always be you. No matter what happens, it's you. All this-All this championship thing? For you. The trophies? Yours. My worth, my house, my money, my heart, mind and soul? All yours. This ring, this marriage, it'd be the least thing I could offer you. Please, accept it. If you don't want me, tell me. I'll move, give you half my money-fuck, if I could give you my heart to live I will do it without thinking, Y/N. Marry me, please."

You knew deep down you wanted this, but you still didn't want him to waste his life, however you just realized how selfish you are.

"I'll marry you, Maxie. I'll fucking marry you." You leaned down and roughly placed your lips against his. Amidst the messy, sloppy and wet kiss, he slipped the ring onto your finger before grabbing your face and hoisting himself up beside you on the couch, bringing you onto his lap and holding you impossibly close to him, never wanting to ever let you go after this moment.

[camileeon]

DISTANCED LETTERS

🍵- “ oh you don't know how much i long to be in your arms once more.”

🦋- GN!Reader x Camilo Madrigal

🍊- originals by yours truly, i had my brainrot at it's peaked finest when i thought of this BNSKSIDNDJ I HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THIS AS MUCH AS I DID!-Ceres

[•••]

Ink was held by the glass dip pen as words were written in legible penmanship, stroke by stroke as black ink stained the ivory paper they wrote on. The light wind making the flourished curtains dance as they wrote with a light thumping heartbeat with him being their only thought at that moment, they couldn't wait to come back to their beloved magical town_ encanto.

Y/n L/n had went out of town with their family for a short vacation, spending a few weeks out of the usual environment they were in to spend days with the white sandy abode and the vibrant sea that was music to their ears. Only problem was, they couldn't get in contact with the one who owned their heart, their significant other, Camilo Madrigal. The two always had been with one another and spent every single day around the lively bustling town, going on dates, pranking town's people whenever they got the chance, and had their time mostly over at casita. When the shapeshifter had found out they would be going away for a few weeks, he could hardly fathom what he felt at that moment. He knew it would only be a couple of weeks but they were the biggest comfort to him and the one that kept him going every day when he saw them, it took awhile for the boy to completely process it in his mind but reminded himself everyday that they will be back soon eventually.

Besides shedding a few tears and crying on his sister's shoulder almost every few nights, he was very patient and persistent while awaiting upcoming letters from them every single day. Writing back to one another, always wondering what time they've read it or whether the mail man had sent it to them already, wondering what they would've replied with on their previous letter and the letter before that one. As time did pass cruelly..

To my dearest Sol,

I write to you with pure happiness in my heart. the day has come, I'll be leaving this abode and will be arriving back to Encanto tomorrow. I hear how loud your heartstrings strum that same melody all over again ever since we met on that same nigh, very impressed on how you've been so patient. I ought to think that you'd be here by my side already by now, watching me write this current letter you read. Though i know there'd be atleast a part of you that had thought about chasing after me all the way here, not that I'm complaining if you did. Amor, i miss you so much.. i await to be in your arms once more. I love you too much mi cielito.

Your dearest, Y/n. <3

The boy practically embraced the letter in his hands while jumping around excitingly as his heart raced giddly, they were coming home finally! The whole rest of the day was merely just a wink, a smile making his lips curve up whenever he thought of them and being able to see them after being weeks apart from one another. Dolores has heard earraping squeals and his heart almost even jumping out of his chest during lunch with the rest of his familia, Pepa had noticed his son wearing a smile on his face almost the whole day.

“you seem very happy today camilo, let me guess, they're coming back home tomorrow?”

“AAAAA MAMI YES THEY ARE, I CANT WAIT TO JUST- I DONT EVEN KNOW I MISSED THEM SO MUCH-!” He couldn't keep it in anymore, his words just bursting out of his mouth.

“I thought so, you've been wearing such a smile the whole day. It makes me so happy seeing you this way with them, we should host a welcome back surprise for them!” Pepa happily suggested, a rainbow appearing out in the open sky as everyone around the table agreed one by one.

That night before, the shapeshifter couldn't sleep. His figure shifting and tossed and turned relentlessly "are they okay? Hopefully they travelled safely..." And a few other thoughts came training in his head for a few hours as the moon lit up the sky, eventually falling asleep as he snored soundly with a smile on his face.

The next morning was just severely ecstatic, everyone in the madrigal household got ready for the surprise welcome back party for the l/n's as to coming back from such a trip. Decoration and outdoor furniture made their way to a plaza where they held the party, streamers and fairy light strung to each pillar as the town's people more than willingly helped out as the l/n's were always the nicest fellows of the community and it was a way to give something back as a thank you. Camilo was racing around helping when he could, holding the last letter they sent him in his hand. He held it ever since that very night he had trained thoight swirling in his head, always making sure everything during the current celebration went perfectly.

“ THEY'RE HERE!!”

And yes, there they were..

The family L/n had returned! Almost immediately as their eyes both met as soon as they stepped foot on the plaza floor, he bolted towards them with open arms and the biggest smile on his face before burying it into their shoulder area as everyone around them cheered. His arms snaked around their figure, securely fixing it on their waist to pull them the closest they could've ever been in that moment as he gave a tight squeeze with still the letter in hand. Y/n couldn't help but do the same, wrapping their arms around him with happiest expression anyone at that place could ever have, saying nothing as presence enough at that moment was only sufficient.

Camilo pulled away their embrace and gave them the deepest yet most passionate kiss he had ever given them, all he longed for right now was with him again after weeks of being away. Tears fell from his eyes as well as y/n's, the feeling of happiness overwhelmed both of them to it's peak but they hardly cared and pulled away to meet gazes once more, they haven't even spoken a word to eachother ever since they came back.

“i missed you so much y/n you can't even imagine how bored i was here! I didn't have anyone to cuddle with and give my affection to- i can't even say anything at all- y-you're here finally!-” he stammered with a slight pout, tears threatening to fall from his eyes as they wiped his tears away from his face and gave him a few more comforting kisses on his nose

“ don't cry now amor, i'm here i know i'm here. I swear, i will never leave for that long ever again. I bet owe you a lot of dates, cuddles session, and loads of affection don't I? I promise, i will make it up to you my love.”

They spoke softly as their foreheads rested on one another's, the smile they fondly saw on eachother's faces again after being unable to see eachother for so long.

Sharing one more kiss as Camilo swiftly dipped them lowly as the madrigals, l/n's, and other town's people celebrated the returned family. Any encanto family was family of everybody, the night and glimmering stars were still young and so were they..

TAGLIST:

@destinydrawssometimes

@camilolovesroxiie

@i-more-need-books

@aphrodicts-imagination

@s1mpystuff

@dai-tsukki-desu

@pepasfavorite

@kaxiaowow

@azrielxx

@l-e-m-o-n-g-a-y

@astroddon

[tendouluvr]

aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader

- [attempt at] angst to fluff

- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’

- wc: 1.9k

a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T

once again, not edited!

#! aizawa!!!! eee

#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare

#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship

#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in

#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o

#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities

walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.

you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.

humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.

“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.

“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.

“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”

your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?

worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.

fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.

due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.

once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.

shou <3: im sorry

shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can

shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this

shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.

staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.

letting out a sigh, you decided not to.

putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.

seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.

aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).

his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.

despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.

a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.

however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.

his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 

finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.

he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.

first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 

you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.

making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.

“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”

it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.

“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”

aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”

letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.

“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”

he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.

“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”

“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.

“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.

he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.

“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”

bonus:

it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-

“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.

guess he did make mistakes after all.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Angel has Kai’s baby in their 3rd (last) year of highschool and Kai has no idea since she hid her pregnancy so 2 years later Kai breaks up with angel to focus on his “experiments” when Kai is sent to Tartarus the guards tell him that he has a visitor and there’s angel and his child and Kai starts to tear up

"Eh...?" you could only mutter in disbelief as Kai read some papers with an unbothered expression.

"I know you for about five years (Y/n). I know you dont have any issues with your hearing." He muttered coldly before sighing and placing the papers on the desk.

"You... want to break up...? Why? What did I do?" You asked with trembling lips as he stared at your eyes.

"Is more about on what you can't and won't do." He pressed his fingers on the bridge of his nose before waving it in the air "You know I am the future leader of the hassaikai. And having you near would be only a distraction to my experiments to give this place more credit. You would be like a rock on my path to gain some knowledge."

"You're kidding right?" You almost sobbed "You always told me I was like a safe place for you to go. What the hell happened to that? Or the promises you made for me for us to get married?" He blinked before answering.

"I was foolish. We have a life ahead of us and well, having you being clingy on my back would be a nuisance while working."

The ground could swallow you for all you cared... what the supposed love of your life just said was enough to leave you with eyes red and legs felling like they were trembling.

"Please dont cry. You're dropping them on the ground. And I dont even know if you're clean." You gritted your teeth before breathing in and looking at Kai Chisaki for what you swore for one last time.

"Very well. You want to break up because I'm only a bother to your path to greatness oh punny God? So be it." You walked until you felt him grabbing your wrist until you snatched it away from him.

"When the time is right, we can get back together." He spoke like he was in a fucking meeting in a company.

"No." You hissed "Chisaki I loved you, and I gave you everything of me even supporting your ideas. But then you want to break up with out of no where saying I would ruin your plans by simply existing neat you and to top it off you call me clingy and a nuisance?"

You could see a tad bit of remorse on his eyes as he pondered for a second his own words maybe, but before he could speak you sobbed and opened the door.

"Don't ever look for me Chisaki. And for your information..." you hesitated and gulped down the urge to just yell what you had discovered just earlier while clenching your purse where the pregnancy test lied on.

"What?" He asked, now no longer seeing to be bothered by your sadness and outburst.

"... good luck on your life. I hope you're happy with this obstacle getting away from you." You muttered before closing the door and walking out until you cursed and screamed while you ran as the rain started to make an appearance.

Not noticing the germophobic himself running out of the house with an umbrella to give it to you and soaked as well as he watched with a dread expression your figurine run away...

.

.

Ten years later...

.

.

"I swear Kaiyo... you gonna drive me crazy one of these days." You spoke heartedly as the boy with brow hair laughed in embarrassment while scrubbing the back of his head as you caught all the pieces of the broken chair on the ground.

"Sorry ma! I got carried away." You scoffed but soon smiled at his tiny hands and focused face morph the pieces and piece them back together and with a proud face show you the new constructed chair with a 'tad a!'

"Wow. Impressive sweety!" You patted his hair as he "complained", golden eyes shinning brightly at looking at you with a huge smile on.

Life sometimes was cruel to give the child you loved the exact same face as their father which teared your heart at pieces. But your love for your son was stronger than this stupid thing.

Kaiyo was your son. Not his.

"Ne ne ma? Father's day is coming up!" Kaiyo said and you froze for a moment before sighing while washing the dishes.

Here we go...

"Yes it is coming." You muttered as the boy sneak around and looked up at you.

"You know I dont really care about what the other kids say about me having only a mom but..." he rested his face on his crossed arms on the sink while shyly looking up at you "I was just curious... if I am going to meet mine..."

You sighed while placing the now dry plates on their place before giving your son the best smile you could get.

"Kaiyo, your father is just a very busy name. When we were together he had.. uh.. family business to take care of, so that's why we cant see him much." Kaiyo seemed a bit dissapointmented and it tore you apart.

You could have your own issues with Kai but that didn't mean you would make his son hate him...

"Well... Sato's also got a busy dad but.." he shook his head, messy brow bangs shaking along with his head, until he gave you a bright smile "That's okay! I just hope I get to meet him one day! And that he gets back to you and apologize foe being a dork! So us three can live together!"

A child can dream, right?

But you knew that Kai needed to know the existence of Kaiyo... you werent ignorant...

"Yeah kiddo. Let's hope for the best." You carresed his cheek before kissing it "Okay. Enough talk. Time for bed young man."

"Awww already?" He pouted as you giggled.

"How about that? You go get ready and I tell you stories about me and daddy while we were together?"

"Can I get my plushie of mr Nighteye?" You giggled. Something Kaiyo definitely wasn't equal to his father was his fascination with heroes.

"Sure honey. Now shoo! Go go go!" You squished his cheeks as he laughed and ran towards his room on the apartment.

You snorted at sign before preparing yourself for digging the past once again for the sake of your son.

.

.

.

"MOM!" You almost chopped your finger along with the carrot at the shout of Kaiyo before looking at him in worry to se ehkm pointing at the T.V with horror "The heroes-! The green hero with the girl-!"

You immediately went to his side only to widened your eyes at the image in front of you.

Chisaki..?

"Ma! He is a villain! A BIG ONE!"your son whimpered while going for you for a hug while stared in shock... "Ma? Why are you trembling?"

"H-Huh?" You let out until you gasped at seeing this teenager punching Chisaki square in the face...

"Ma?! You're okay?!"

You didn't know what to feel, but surely you weren't expecting tears to fall when this girl hand cuffed your ex boyfriend and the cops and heroes to put him into a van to surely got to the prison. Tartarus you bet.

You felt a hand rubbing your cheek and soon looked at your son wide teary eyes.

"M-Mommy...?" You hugged him close to your chest and holding his head close as your heart almost slammed out of your chest. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I-i... I'm okay honey." You inhaled before looking into Kaiyo's golden eyes to see worry on them. "Hey, mommy's okay."

"Ma...?"

"Hm?"

"That man looked like me..."

.

How long was he here? Months?

Didn't matter. Nothing mattered more... everything was taken from him. Including his own arms. Now he was just as useless as a cockroach.

Worst of all? His own father figurine on a damn hospital because of him...

Pathetic.

'Is funny how things change' is what you used to say... he found himself scoffing while pressing the back of his head on the wall.

He hadn't stop thinking about you ever since the day he made the decision of breaking up with you. He did tried inumerous times to contact you when he took leadership of the Hassaikai... but he just gave up.

"Probably married with kids already... why are you even thinking about her on the first place..?" he murmured to himself as he felt his chest tighten in sadness.

Everything was just... what he deserved.

He sighed. Closing his eyes for just a split second until he heard banging on the door of his cell until a guard opened the window on it to glare daggers at him.

"Get up. You have visitors."

"Leave me in here. I thought your job was to take seriously enough to not make jokes." He spoke on a hoarse voice until the cell opened with two guards already on it.

"I cant understand why you have visitors as well but get your ass up already."

He just blinked until he got up, two guards in front of him and one behind as he walked.

He just hoped it was fast.

He entered the room, mirrors which surely was where cops were hidden as he sitted down on a chair and waited until the door of iron opened by another guard.

"Right here ma'am. And remember the rules please."

"Of course." His eyes widened and he snapped his head up to see if he hadn't got crazy.

But no. You were there.

Gosh.. you didn't change at all... was even more beautiful than what his mind could have remember.

He stood there in shock as you got in but along with you... holding your hand, was a boy. Dressed with clothes but he surely didn't looked content about being in here.

His face dropped at seing the kid... you had moved on.

"One hour." The guard said locking the door as you stood there awkwardly, while the kid holding onto to you was glaring at the ground.

He wanted to say something but nothing came out as he was still in shock at seeing out of all people you decided to visit him.

The heels you wore clicked on the ground as you walked towards the table and sit down and the boy right by your side on the other chair... not even once you made eye contact with him.

"... (y/n)..." he whispered, still looking at you as if you were some angelical creature.

"Hey... long time that we dont see each other right? Chisaki." You spoke... not with a smile but not with hatred.

It was a start.

"You... hadn't changed a... a bit." He spoke, voice scratching at his throat as your eyes finally met his, his heart was beating loudly on his chest.

It felt like he was in high school again...

"Should I take that as a compliment?"

"I.. I didn't meant to offend you. Apologies." He bowed his head a bit as you sighed, looking at him with wide eyes out of the sudden.

"Oh God what happened to your arms?!" You almost screamed as the kid also seemed to notice.

"Long story... just.. a business that went wrong." He explained with dread as you seemed to relax a but while nodding.

It remained quiet for a bit only for the sound of the clock on the wall until he decided to break the silence.

".. so.. er.." gosh he was horrible with this "how is your life? Any.. uh.. you got the degree you wanted? I remember how you talked about it..."

You sighed with dissapointment as you looked at everywhere but him.

"No. I haven't... but I see you got what you wanted before being arrested though." You muttered and he let out a bitter chuckle.

"Almost.. yeah." He tapped his foot twice until he spotted the kid glaring at him with similiar gold eyes... "Married?"

"No. I thought it would be a distraction while taking care of my son." You spoke abruptly... as you looked at the boy beside you... "Anyway... I need to give you this."

You showed to him a paper before putting on the desk.

"What.. what is this?"

"Is a DNA test." You spoke coldly "To prove that you do have a son."

His eyes widened at that as he looked at the paper... and then to the boy whose was glaring at him not moments ago...

"Wha... but... "

"Remember the day when we split off? Yeah... was the day I discovered."

"W... why didn't you said something?" He asked in oure horror as you giggled in sarcasm.

"For what? This would only trouble you right?" You said with such venom on your voice that he felt a sting to his chest before you breathed in slowly before exhaling "I'm here because I thought you had the right to know... even after ten years.."

He looked at the kid and soon could tell the similarly between him and the boy... you had to raise a child with his face on it alone and he had broken things because of his own selfishness...

"What... what is his name?"

You pondered for a second before sighing, caressing the boy's hair.

"Come on honey... introduce yourself to your dad..." the boy huffed before opening his eyes and looking at him.

"I'm (L/n) Kaiyo. I cant say is very nice to meet you but my mom told me to say it for respect." He almost cringed at the introduction as he saw you looking at him with anger.

"Kaiyo." You warned as the boy scoffed.

"Dont need to scold him. He is not exactly wrong..." he ended up saying while you looked at him.

"I raised Kaiyo to have respect though."

"Why should I have respect towards him in the first place?" He looked at the dark brow haired kid "Not only he abandoned you ma but he is a villain! A very bad one! That girl on the Tv should be the same age if not younger than me!" The boy gritted with a few tears escaping his face.

"Kaiyo please... "

"Incredible..." you and Kaiyo suddenly looked at him "Despite having my features you are just like your mother... I would be proud of it..."

"... I'm not proud of being a villain's son." He muttered while sniffing "You abandoned us. I know ma hadn't said a thing to you but now I do."

You bited on your lips as he looked at loss of words at what he just heard from a child...

"... I know it doesn't change a thing but... I never stopped thinking about... your mother. About you (Y/n)."

"DONT REFER TO MY MOM AS HER FIRST NAME!" Kaiyo banged his fists on the table before you took him in your arms as the boy sobbed "You never cared! You-You-! Grandpa said you called my ma a bother! You are a MURDER!" The kid cried.

"I'm sorry about that..." you mumbled as you cradled the crying boy in your arms "He didn't take well Mr. Nighteye death..."

"M-Ma-! I wanna go home!"

"But Kaiyo, your da-"

"He IS NOT MY DAD!" he cried in you as you sighed as Chisaki seemed to be dying little by little at each second this visit had.

"I'm... going to go. Another day we will visit. Take care, Chisaki." You spoke before he could hear it and he stood up abruptly from his chair.

"No! Wait-!"

The door closed...

.

Months later

.

"Ma look. Hawk's wings are healing." The kid pointed at the news and you smiled.

"That's amazing! We could use some good news!" You chirped as Kaiyo smiled until both of you heard the door bell of your apartment ring.

"Huh. Weird usually grandpa or grandma visits us on-" you opened the door and you almost screamed at the sign of that same green haired kid on your door but now he seemed so... broken...

"Ma'am.. I'm sorry to bother you, but he said he can crash a bit in here... later cops will come to get him. I'm sorry but I need to go." Your son walked and squealed at sign.

"A hero!" Your son smiled brightly at him and for once, Deku had showed a smile for real... until you saw Chisaki leaning bruised to the core resting on the wall next to your door...

"Chisaki..." you breathed out as your son looked at him in shock.

"I'm sorry. Both of you..." he muttered while looking at the storm outside.

[nebulousfishgills]

In Reality

Request by @nosfera1 : hiiiii is your request open? i was wondering if i could ask for an angsty wanda x fem!r fic where they've been in a relationship for a year and r is absolutely head over heels with her. r planned their anniversary date and during that dinner wanda confesses that she's only been dating r to move on from her previous relationship the whole time and cant carry it in her conscience anymore? make it reaaally really heart wrenching as possible please. thank youuuuu

Ah, thank you so much for sending in your request!! (Yes, requests are open lol). I'm always excited to recieve a new request, especially for a character I have yet to write for!

I hope I get this the way you want! ❤

Warnings: Angst, feels, fluff (but like, fake?)

ฯฯฯ

"Wan, are you okay?" You asked, noticing your girlfriend looking a bit uncomfortable. Her hands were in her lap, her eyes staring at the table or the wall, and she seemed like she was zoning in and out. "Wanda?"

"What? Oh, yes, dear?" She asked, jerking up from looking at the muted paisley tablecloth.

"I was wondering if you were okay." You repeated.

"Yes, I'm alright, dear. Just a little tired is all." She said, showing her teeth in a smile that almost seemed forced. You chose to ignore it.

"I was going to say, but I didn't want to be rude." You said, chuckling.

"We've been together for a year, we can tell each other anything."

"I'm glad you feel that way."

The waiter brought your dishes not long after that, the thin veil of steam curling off the top of the Italian dishes you ordered. Your glasses were refilled and parmesan was grated on top of your meals.

You started nearly scarfing down your food, the wait having been a little too long without a breadstick refill. You watched Wanda gently cut through the meatballs on the top of her pasta, dividing them into quarters. The delicate movement entranced you for a moment, a bashful smile creeping onto your face.

To say you loved Wanda would be a severe understatement. The past year you had been together was the best year of your life. Before, you had been in a slump, everything seeming sad and dreary. You had been having a particularly bad day that day, as a matter of fact. You missed the bus in the morning, so you had to walk to work. Halfway through, it started raining buckets and you had no umbrella. You were lucky your boss was so understanding, else she would have reprimanded you for sure for being late. Still, the woman signed your paychecks; staying on her good side was in your best interest.

While pondering your latest excuse for being late to work again, it suddenly stopped raining.

No, someone was holding an umbrella over you.

That someone happened to be Wanda, offering her umbrella to you to shelter from the storm. You took one look at her and it was as if the color started to soak back into your previously grey world. Not only was this woman going out of her way to help you, she was beautiful as well.

Wanda held the umbrella over your head while you both walked to where you worked (she didn't mind in the slightest; she didn't have a set destination when she started walking). You told each other a few things about yourselves to pass the time. You were working at your current job until you could afford to move to a better part of the city. The apartment you lived in currently had a lot of small problems that would pop up every now and then that would take your savings. Your dishwasher had just broken and you needed to save up to get that replaced.

Wanda told you about things in her life, too. Her brother had died a few years ago in what she called a "tragic accident." Her last relationship had ended pretty suddenly more recently, so she took frequent walks to give herself something to do.

Suddenly your dishwashers woes seemed so nominal.

You arrived at the building you worked at and Wanda bid you goodbye. Though, not before passing you a small slip of paper with a few digits on it you recognized as a phone number. You went pink and walked into your office, sending a text to Wanda as soon as you sat down. You saw each other more frequently after that, going on your first date not long after.

And here Wanda was, sitting in front of you with her steaming pasta and quarter sliced meatballs. You ate your dinners in silence to start, the only noises between you two being the scratches of utensils on plates and quiet chewing.

After a few minutes, you noticed Wanda poking at her pasta with her fork. She hadn't eaten very much. Her chin rested on her other hand, the food on her plate starting to cool down.

"Wan, are you sure you're okay?" You asked. "You've barely eaten anything."

"I'm fine..." Wanda replied, letting out an exhale as if she were holding her breath. She put the fork down and rested her hand on the table.

"Wanda, it's okay. If something's bothering you, you can tell me." You said, resting your hand on top of hers. She took it, rolling your fingers in hers. She pulled her hand back and rested it in her lap, her other hand following suit. She took a breath.

"Y/N, can I tell you something?" She asked.

"Anything, Wan." You said. Wanda took in another breath and looked you in the eyes. That's how you knew she was getting dead serious with you.

"This isn't easy but... I can't keep holding it in. I can't do this anymore." She said.

"Can't do what?"

"This." She wagged her finger in between the two of you. Your breath hitched in your throat.

"What do you mean? You can't do--?" You asked, your voice cracking slightly.

"No, I can't." Wanda cut in. "Listen, Y/N, I'm telling you this now so I don't hurt you worse later on. I can't keep stringing you along."

"'Stringing me along?' Wanda, I don't understand. Don't you love me?"

"I... I... No. It's just..." Wanda bit her lip and averted her gaze from you.

"Just what? Something I did? What did I do, Wanda?"

"Nothing! You did nothing! It's not you, Y/N, it's just..."

"Wanda, are you joking? One year, Wanda! This is our one year anniversary and you're telling me this now??" You asked, the tears streaming down your face through your anger.

"I know, it's not ideal, but I couldn't find time to tell you before!"

"Couldn't? Or wouldn't? You're telling me you lied to me for a year, Wanda. Why?"

"Because I needed a distraction, okay? My last relationship ended badly and I was having a hard time getting over it. I thought you would... provide support until I could get back on my feet." Wanda admitted. Your face got hotter as the realization sunk in. Your voice got low as you continued speaking.

"You used me? You dated me to get over someone else? Is that all I was to you? Just a distraction? A plaything?" You growled.

"Y/N, you don't understand--"

"Oh, no, I understand plenty, Wanda." You stood up from your seat, throwing on your jacket and grabbing your handbag. You looked at the half empty water glass at your seat and picked it up. You examined the water inside for a moment, looking at Wanda over the rim. "I'd throw the water in your face right about now, but unlike you, I have standards on how people should be treated. Like a person with feelings and not something you use to play pretend with."

You downed the rest of the water and put the glass back on the table.

"Y/N--" Wanda said weakly, but you cut her off with a pinch of your fingers.

"Not another word, Wanda." You snapped, before turning around to walk away. "Don't even try to call me."

You burst out of the restaurant and sat down on one of the stone benches out front. You sent a quick text to your friend asking for a ride home, sending the address. Wanda had driven you here.

"What happened to your date?" Your friend asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Alright. I'm on my way."

You shut off your phone and stared up at the sky. Not a moment later, thunder rumbled above you and it started to rain.

You had no umbrella to cover you.

Finally, you allowed yourself to cry, your tears mixing with the rainwater that dripped onto your face. You let everything out, all the anger and sorrow until your throat went raw.

The headlights of your friend's car pierced through the wall of rain. You stood up and ran over, climbing inside of the heated car. You let out a sigh and leaned back against the seat.

"You okay?" Your friend asked. You didn't reply, just turned to look out the window, the raindrops gliding down it. As the car started pulling away, someone ran outside of the restaurant, screaming your name.

Wanda.

You looked at her as your friend pulled out of the parking lot. Wanda caught sight of you inside the car, watching you leave. You just stared back at her coldly as your friend whisked you away back home.

As soon as you got back to your apartment, you blocked Wanda's number and collapsed onto your sofa. Tears leaked down your face as you fell asleep.

ฯฯฯ

Hope you enjoyed this, nosfera!

As always, requests are open, so send them in!

[godoflobsters]

The Brothers and Dateables With a Tattoo Artist MC

My own MC was a tattoo artist before she came to the Devildom, so I thought I’d write up some head cannons with a tattoo artist MC.

MC is gender neutral!

Mammon

Nobody can convince me that the “Brothers Under a Pact” squad wouldn't be the first ones to get tattoos from MC, and Mammon would definitely be the first

Definitely likes to brag about it too

Don't remind him that there are countless people in the human realm that you tattooed before him or he will pout

People tend to think that Mammon is cheap and would try to talk you into giving him free or cheap tattoos, but he couldn't stand to be like that towards you especially regarding something that you’re so good at

Our first man works his butt off every time he wants to get some new ink from you

Likes to give you a big ole tip every time

Gets fidgety when he has to sit still for too long so you two have to take breaks often

Prefers small/medium sized tattoos rather than really big ones

One time after he started getting tattoos from you, he was at a modeling gig and they tried to make him cover them up with makeup, he quit and that magazine went bankrupt not too long after...dont fuck with the avatar of greed

Once your shop starts taking off in the Devildom, he and Asmo try to convince you to do a shoot for Majolish(They definitely didn't pull some strings to get Majolish to do a whole segment about you and your business)

Beelzebub

The second brother to get a tattoo from MC

Refuses to get any food related tattoos: he doesn't want to accidentally take a chunk out of himself when he gets blinded by his hunger

This man has a very high pain tolerance and sits like a rock while you're tattooing him and you love him for it

He definitely needs snack breaks during longer sessions though

Has a memorial tattoo for Lillith over his heart that matches with one on Belphie

While making this list I was randomly blessed with the mental image of Beel with abuncha old school American traditional tattoos and you can pry that headcannon from my cold, dead hands

Mammon likes to brag that he has the most tattoos from you, but Beel might give him a run for his money, he doesn't mind Mammon’s bragging most of the time though, so he just lets him believe whatever he wants this time

Simeon

But Simeon has never been all that great at following the rules that they set for him

The first of the dateables to get a tattoo

He wasn't actually planning on getting a tattoo at first, but one day he overheard Luke trying to scold you for all of your tattoos(definitely before the incident with Beel and Lucifer in the underground tomb) and that was the only push he needed to jump on the “tattoos from MC” train

There is a lot of rhetoric in the Celestial Realm about how “Your body is a temple and you should not mark it”

He’s still not willing to stray too far from his roots though, so he’d probably get something with vaguely religious undertones

Absolutely delights in the shocked look on your face and the sheepish questions on whether angels are allowed to do this

Once he’s finally convinced you that you're not damning him to fall by tattooing him, the process goes by very easily

He is very easygoing and open regarding designs and he handles the pain very well

He absolutely loves to show his tattoo off, even when he goes home to the Celestial Realm and receives his reprimands from Michael

Leviathan

The third brother to get a tattoo from MC

Didn't want to get a tattoo at first, all of that physical contact and pain on top of it? No way

But then Mammon, Beel, and even Simeon all got one and he got jealous

You're HIS Henry, why are THEY the ones who get to wear your art? He might’ve been able to deal with his dumb brothers, but SIMEON TOO?

You gotta sit down with him and have a nice long chat about it, making sure this is something that he would actually want to do and not just his envy talking

Spoiler alert: It was definitely just his envy talking

He realises that he is actually oddly attached to the idea of getting a tattoo from you now though, so he comes up with designs and draws them on himself until he is certain that he won't regret it

Would get something tiny and probably gaming related

Definitely very squeamish about the pain aspect but the design that the two of you came up with is very simple and small, so he is able to make it through without fainting

He absolutely loves his new tattoo...but he is never doing that again

Belphegor

Fourth brother to get a tattoo

Has wanted to get one ever since Beel showed him the tattoo he got in memory of Lillith, but things were very...not good...between the two of you at that point

Finally worked up the courage to at least ask if you would be okay with it after the two of you made a pact

Beel, forgetting his super high pain tolerance, told him that it getting a tattoo doesn't hurt at all, so he was in for a big surprise when he went under the needle for the first time

Whiny at first, but he manages to stay very still for you

Has a memorial tattoo for Lilith over his heart that matches with one on Beel

Will definitely start to doze off during long sessions

Convinced Satan to get a matching Anti Lucifer League tattoo with him(definitely doesn't try to convince you to get one too)

Make sure that he does not, under any circumstances, actually fall asleep while you're tattooing him. He did once and he rolled over in his sleep, almost ruining an entire tattoo

Ever since that time, Beel has come with him to his sessions so you could focus on your work and he can focus on keeping Belphie awake

Satan

Gets his tattoo not long after Belphie

One of those people that think every tattoo needs to mean something so he takes forever trying to pick out something that he wants

Would probably get some sort of quote or design inspired by his favorite book, something that really resonated with who he is as a person

Was somehow convinced by Belphie to get an Anti Lucifer League tattoo

Does he regret it whenever he realizes that he now has a portion of his skin dedicated to Lucifer of all people? Possibly, but he definitely won't say anything about it to you

Loves to look at you and just admire your tattoos, asking the stories behind each and every one of them that he can see

He might be a bigger fan of literature than the fine arts, but that doesn't mean that he has any less of an appreciation for your work

Definitely pulls some strings and gets one of his friends who owns an art gallery to display some of your work there

Can set you up with all the connections that you need to make your mark on the Devildom art world

Lucifer

The last of the brothers to get a tattoo

In the beginning he has no intentions of getting a tattoo, he does have alot of respect for your talents and how hard you work for them though

As an art lover and artist himself, he will most certainly commission you from time to time and hang your work in his study

He won't admit it, but seeing your art and thinking of you when he's stressed with work is very soothing

He eventually decides to let you tattoo him only if it’s in a place that is easily covered by his clothes, considering how he dresses that leaves you with pretty much his entire body to work with

Sometimes when he has some time off he will grab a sketchbook and join you if he finds you in the common room working on a design, you share a comfortable silence, with the only sounds be the crackling of the fireplace and the scratching of pencils on paper

The kind of person that wants a tattoo but has no idea what he actually wants, but hes picky as fuck so he will turn down every single idea that you give him for weeks

He is lucky that you love him

Whenever you two talk about placements, if you mention anything on his back to cover up the scars from his wings he will almost back out entirely

Almost

Afew months later he’ll put his pride aside come back, admitting that your ideas would be perfect and that he wants to go through with it

During the session he has way too much pride to admit that he was feeling any pain

That is until you have to start going over the scars

As soon as the needles hit scar tissue he starts to fall apart; tears, shaking, the whole nine yards

It takes you quite a few sessions to finish since he cant handle such long sessions on that portion of his back

The summer after his new back piece is finished, he goes with you and his brothers back to Diavolo’s beach, this time he takes his shirt off in front of everyone for the first time since the fall

He wears your art with such pride that he lets everyone keep the memory, he even lets Asmo keep the pictures he took of all of them up on Devilgram

Diavolo

Wanted to be the first to get a tattoo but Barbatos said no

If you want to continue your career in the Devildom for the duration of your stay, he will buy you a building to work from and any supplies to get started since you had to leave your stuff in the human realm

Diavolo has rooms in the castle filled with the art that he's collected over the years, so when he sees that you're an artist he gets so excited

Before he finally gets tattooed by you, he buys a lot of your artwork and hangs it up around the castle

It takes a few years to propose the idea again to Barbatos in a way that wont make the butler’s hair fall out from stress, but he finally relented under one condition: it has to be in an area that is still hidden while he’s in his demon form

He decides that his legs would be the perfect place to indulge in your artistic talents while also keeping Barbatos’s controlling side at bay

Hes another one that knows he wants a tattoo but no clue what he wants to get

Unlike Lucifer though, he is a true open canvas

He truly adores your art so he wholeheartedly trusts you with his body and knows that he will love anything that you do for him

He knows that this is most likely very nerve wracking for you considering his position so he tries to reassure you and make the process very easy for you

You still put everything into designing him something fit for a king

He’s the type to prefer large pieces that span over entire sections of his body rather than abuncha small/medium sized ones

Another fidgetter, he’s really not all that accustomed to pain so he doesn't have a high tolerance for it

Likes to treat you to dinner at Ristorante Six after each of his sessions

Tips like the absolute king he is, you could probably pay a couple months of rent back at your apartment in the Human Realm just from his tip

Once his tattoo is finally finished and healed, he will find every excuse that he can think of to invite you and the brothers on outings to places where he is free from scrutiny to wear shorts and show off your artwork

Barbatos

The last of all of the boys to get a tattoo

It was a complete shock to everyone when he came to you and asked if he could make an appointment to get tattooed by you

“Everyone” being you, Diavolo, and Lucifer because nobody else knows that it happened and he would like to keep it that way

Another member of the “I’ll get one as long as it’s somewhere nobody will see” club...so basically not his face

Before the two of you get to talking about designs, you expect him to go with something small and simple, maybe an elegant little teapot or something along those lines

Then this man comes to his consultation and throws you for a loop talking about a sleeve

Very picky, he has high standards for himself and what's on his body

Knows exactly what he wants but does his best not to stifle your creativity during the design process

You learn ALOT about just who lurks behind Barbatos’s mild-mannered butler facade during his sessions, he’s surprisingly upfront and honest whenever you have him under the needle

Solomon

Can't get a tattoo

This man has pact marks for 72 demons all over his body, there is simply no more room

Any open space he has is being saved just in case any other demons *cough* Lucifer *cough* ever decide to come around to making a pact

Collects your flash and hangs it up around his room

If you take Diavolo up on his offer to set up a shop in the Devildom, he will make sure to tell all of his pact-mates about you, hype up your work, and get you a lot of business in the door

Sometimes he will commission art from you and use magic to make your art temporarily appear on his skin over the pact marks

Once you become a sorcerer and have a better grasp on your magic, he helps you experiment in creating magical inks and enchanting tattoos

Asmodeus

The only one that actually doesn't want to get a tattoo

He doesnt think that tattoos would fit in very well to the image that he has for himself

And not being able to show off every inch of his beautiful skin while its healing is a no from him

Since he likes to test out his new makeup and skincare products on you, sometimes after he has had his way with your face he will let you draw on him with skin safe markers

would definitely be a wimp about the pain

Will spam pictures to his Devilgram of his fancy new temporary tattoos and you drawing on him

Will definitely try to bring you some of his flings to get his name tattooed on them, you will have to reprimand him every single time and eventually he will stop

If you're not the type to keep up with social media, he’ll offer to keep up a Devilgram account for your shop

If you're ever attempting to draw and you have a very specific pose in your head that you can't find a reference for, he will not hesitate to get up and start posing for you

Luke

He is baby and cant have any tattoos until he's older

His mind frequently bounces back and forth between the whole “your body is a temple” rhetoric that he was taught growing up and “wow that's so cool!”

After Simeon got his tattoo Luke became a lot more enthusiastic and curious about your job though

Will occasionally ask if he can have one of your flash sheets so he can color your pictures

These very often end up on the fridge in Purgatory Hall

Sometimes they even make their way to the fridge in the House of Lamentation too

Will this make the brothers jealous? Yes. Do you care? No.

Luke loves you and looks up to you so much that he goes through a little phase of wanting to copy you, yourself and the entirety of Purgatory Hall can expect loads of temporary marker tattoos

[pansyslut]

hidden letters

summary: astoria finds letters you and draco wrote to each other in the past, not knowing how deep your love for each other truly was

warnings: a little angst, a little fluff, slight cheating

gif: @animeglitch

flipping through the hidden chest of letters, astoria looks at each of them suspiciously, having never seen them before. each marked with a date and nothing more, she’s hesitant to prod into her husbands secret mail. sighing, she lets her curiosity get the best of her and opens it marked with a number one.

november 2, 2002

dear y/n,

well shit, she thought. this was her hint to turn back now. this was her clue to not gaze any further and let the letters be...

i know i shouldn’t be writing you. i know we agreed to let things be and keep everything between us... but i cant. i miss you dearly– more than i can put into words. i miss waking up in the mornings with you by my side. i miss being excited to go home knowing that you’ll be there waiting for me. i miss your laughs and our deep talks and your unwavering joy, flooding through the house with you laughter and presence. i miss you. i understand if you don’t write back. but i thought you should know that i still think about you daily and the time we had shared did not go wasted. you have forever made an impact on my heart and i thank you for that. i hope for me to always be apart of you as you are to me.

sincerely,

draco

feeling a tear fall from her face, she looks down to see the few droplets how hitting the paper and leaving marks on the now smudged ink. astoria knew that him and y/n had a hidden relationship for a short period of time but she never knew the extent of it. she had always liked her when you all were in school. a fellow slytherin- yet not slytherin at all as you radiated positivity like any other hufflepuff. but she was shocked to see how draco was so keen on you. draco is the complete opposite– always dark and gloomy, rarely ever having a smile on his face. reaching down to grab the second letter, she opens it to find it was written by draco yet again.

november 17, 2002

dear y/n,

i lied. and i’m sorry. i lied when i wrote that i would understand if you didn’t write back. because as i watch the window for your letter in hopes for it to arrive, i realize now that i was wrong. for whatever this is worth, i’m throwing myself out on a limb here. if you want nothing to do with me then i understand i will respect that. but please let me know if you are alright.

sincerely,

draco

november 22, 2002

dear draco,

i’m sorry too. i should’ve replied but we both know deep down that this is wrong. you are to be married. married to a good woman, who will help provide and keep your family name strong and intact. i don’t hate you for it. i wish i could but i don’t. you will be a good husband to her, i have no doubt. she will bare children and you will be happy... at least that’s what i keep telling myself. i need you to be happy. i need to know that we didn’t throw away what we had for nothing. so please dray, make it mean something. if not for me than for your fiancé. i miss you too.

sincerely,

y/n

astorias heart aches as she reads the last few sentences. she wants to hate you for loving her husband but she can’t blame you. and you had even wrote than you wanted her to be happy and for draco to be a good husband. what kind of woman does that? what kind of woman lets her man be taken by another? a respectable one. there is no distaste in astorias heart even if it still stung.

december 1, 2002

dear y/n,

you have no idea how big of a grin i have right now. if anyone were to walk in they’d probably think i was finally losing it. i might be actually. i’m so glad to hear from you. i want to know everything. fill me in on all that i’ve missed.

as you know, i’m set to be married in a month. i dread the day as it comes closer and closer and i wish there was something i could do about it. astoria is constantly poking and prodding about wedding this, wedding that, it’s driving me crazy. it only makes me think of you and our stupid dream to run away and have elvis marry us. my mother would throw the biggest tantrum it would’ve been amazing if we went through with it.

p.s. have i mentioned i’m glad you answered and that i miss you?

yours,

draco

yours... the bitter word sits in her brain. as she reads through the letters it is becoming more and more apparent and how draco would never truly be hers. you would always be sitting in the back of his brain.

december 18, 2002

dear dray,

haha very funny. i bet before i even got to the alter your mother would have sliced off my head. and don’t get cross with astoria, you know she’s doing this for her family as well. i do think a part of her will care for you. i don’t see how she couldn’t. remember to pick and choose your battles and remember “happy wife happy life”. and i’m sure astoria could also just as easily slice off your head as well– be sure to remember that.

you’re getting married in a week. i don’t know how we’ve got to this point but we have nonetheless. be good to her. i know you will. make your family proud. that’s all you’ve ever wanted to do and this is your chance.

p.s. i’m a little butt hurt i didn’t get an invite but whatever

astoira shoved each of the letters into the envelopes, not being able to read anymore. there were still hundreds more scattered throughout the chest but it was no use. her husband loved another. she obviously knew he didn’t love her. no matter how many failed attempts of being a sweet, competent wife, she was met time and time again with nothing but a stone cold glare.

shoving the chest back into its spot, she starts pacing the room. after a few minutes, hey eyes catch a half written letter laying on his desk.

october 12, 2005

dear y/n,

you are the love of my life. i’m sorry for throwing that away. i intend to fix this. i’m done trying to please my family while losing myself in return. i’m not a scared little boy anymore. i am going to leave astoria and return to my rightful wife. i’ve been with her for three years and neither of us our happy. it’s always been you, y/n. whenever i fall short, you’re there to pick me up. whenever i have doubts, you’re the one slapping the back of my head muttering how mach of an idiot i am. i love-

and that’s where it ended. astoria didn’t know if he stopped whether it was due to no ink or being preoccupied or having a change of heart, but she knew he was right. none of this was how it was meant to me. and she was going to fix it.

[bloodycassian]

FIRE AND ICE PART THREE - THE END OF IT ALL

Cassian wasn't at the house when you flew back the next morning. Feyre met you in the dining room though, giving you an easy smile and offering you a cup of tea. You took it, hoping she didn't say anything about your puffy eyes. She kept it light, casual. You asked about her painting and summoning wings which she laughed and said "Both could use some work." 

Feyre was a constant that you appreciated. She was safe, and tolerable. Like how Mor was, but you felt like you could trust her more. Mor usually lost herself once a week at Ritas. You didn't want any secrets spilling out there by accident. 

"If you need me, you know I'm here." She said, tone more hushed and serious now. You could only manage a small shake of your head. You didn't have the heart to say you preferred to suffer in silence. The thought of her reaction made you smile. It put on a good enough show, she smiled back and you felt less guilty without saying anything. You made for your room, trying your best to lull the dull aching in your body from sobbing through the night. 

Azriel hadn't left your side the whole time. He didn't say anything besides shushing you when you began blaming yourself for everything falling apart. He had only given you a small wave when you took off together. He flew the opposite way, towards Illyria. You felt colder once he'd left. You didn't know why. You hoped you hadn't scared him off. 

You fell into bed with no grace, and were asleep quickly among the fluffy pillows and soft blankets. Cassian's scent lingered on the pillowed side he claimed when he slept there. You turned away from them, curling in on yourself on the opposite side.

+

Dinner with the entire inner circle the next night wasn’t going to be fun. 

You didnt talk to Cassian the entire day. You waited for your moment to strike at the dinner. And it made it all worth it just to see his face as you said what you’d been planning all night. “I’m leaving for Illyria in the morning.”

Azriel choked on his wine. Mor’s fork clattered to her plate loudly. Az's eyes were wide, and stared at you with worry. Rhys was calm, maybe a bit too much. You checked your mental shields to make sure he was kept out. They held strong.

“Seeing as I lack the proper training, I will be seeking it out at the war camps.” You then met Cassian’s wide eyes. His shocked stare made you smirk at him bitterly. 

“They will clip you.” Az’s voice was little more than a whisper. The thought of it had scared you, yes. But you figured if you were a good enough fighter for the three most powerful Illyrians in history, then you were good enough to take on the likes of Devlon. 

You said nothing to Azriel’s grim words. The tension in the room came to a head when Cassian shot out of his chair, knocking it backwards. “You will not.” He growled. Az’s shadows curled like thick smoke around him, and Rhys tensed. 

“Why shouldn’t she?” Feyre asked, eyes narrowing at Cassian. 

“She dosent know-” Cassian began dismissing.

“I know perfectly well what could happen.” You said with deadly calm. There was a long strained silence after your words. You could practically hear Cas’ teeth grind together.

“Leave us.” Cassian’s tone was an order. The room was deathly silent. He didn't break eye contact with you, just waited for the others to leave.

Mor glanced to Rhys. Feyre’s slight glare did not leave Cassian’s tensed shoulders. Rhys stood slowly, giving the group a gesture. They rose, Azriel last. Then Rhys winnowed them away. 

"If it makes you see me as strong I'll train with them."

"You'll be clipped the second you land." His words sent a thrill of terror through you.

"What do you propose instead? I will not stand by for your protecting."

"Just make this easy... please." He leaned against the table, exhausted with the fighting. "Dont go there. Even if it means.."

"If it means I can't be with you?" You interjected. The entire world seemed to still. You  stopped breathing. They seemed to echo through the dining space. The wind did not make the curtains bellow in the welcoming way they usually did. Your heart slammed in your chest, waiting for his reply.

It was a long wait. But finally - “So you’re leaving me?” He asked, voice rough.

“It seems you give me no other choice. You cant keep treating me like I’m your paper doll, Cassian.” 

The words stung more when they actually came out, instead of the reherals you’d done in your head. They made your throat go tight and your hands shake. You loved him. You knew that. He knew that. But you loved your independence from him more. 

“I just-” He held his head in his hands, his face going red. “I need you.” He sighed. 

“Then be with me!” You were reaching the end of your rope. Your ability to keep going through this with him was wearing thin. This dance of ‘I love you ‘ and ‘prove it’ was ending. You could feel it, as sure as winter was in the air. 

His shoulders shook. Then, you realized he was sobbing. You clamped down on the urge to comfort him. “If leaving you is going to keep you from going to that camp…” He regained his composure. When he finally looked at you again, his eyes were red. His voice shook, “Then at least give me a kiss goodbye.” His lips trembled as he said the words. 

The truth of the situation snapped into place. This was it. This was the only conclusion that would have been made, in the end. Your stomach twisted and flipped in all sorts of new ways. Seeing him so weak, so defeated like you’d never seen before made your mind spin. One of the strongest Illyrians ever was crying… over you. One of the best males you’d ever met was there crying… because you both knew the ending to your story together.

You couldn’t handle it anymore. The floodgates broke and you were sobbing, in his arms in an instant. 

=====================

The next week went by incredibly slowly. You remained nearly catatonic the first two days. Only getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Feyre visited, tried to talk to you. But without you answering back, she went to reading at the couch next to the side of the bed. You turned away, trying not to stare at the pillows scattered on the opposite wall. All the ones Cassian had ever touched - anything that smelled remotely of him.

==========================

Mor finally forced you from bed. Getting up was much much harder than it sounded. She prodded you into getting dressed, and eventually got you down to the city streets for some ‘quality time with the real world’.

“Cassian will-” 

“Cassian isn’t here. It’s about you right now.” She flicked hair from her face. Your mind ran wild. Wasn’t here? 

“What do you mean?” 

“Rhys took him to the continent for some boy time. Az went too. My guess is so that Cassian can’t destroy any buildings in Velaris while he’s on his bender.”

Guilt was the last nail in the coffin. You stood in the middle of the busy sidewalk, not caring that other Fae bumped into you or gave you dirty looks. “I need to apologize..” You managed through the tightness in your throat. 

“No- no no no, hey.” She took your hand and started pulling you along again. You fought away the tears that stung your eyes. They were cool when you blinked them away, the cold nip in the air numbing your face enough so you didnt feel the corners of your eyes beading with the tears. 

“We are going to have fun. You’re coming to Rita’s with me.” She shimmied her hips as you followed her down the familiar alleyway. “Is this really a good idea?” You sighed, offering the door keeper a silver coin. The male nodded and gave you a wolfish grin as you passed him by. 

 Mor paused in the doorway and eyed up the lights, the dancers on stage. “This is a perfect idea. Trust me.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You lost yourself in dancing and drinking. It felt so good to let go. Mor kept a watchful eye on you the entire night, but still had fun. She brought you drinks when you were nearly empty, keeping you fueled. 

You stumbled out close to dawn. Mor winnowed you to a nearby rooftop. You spun, your head swimming in alcohol. "Easy..." She steadied you, holding your arm tightly. You didnt know when your thoughts became your speaking voice, but she was replying to you. You blinked at her slowly, the buzz of the alcohol making you slow and sleepy. 

"This is all a mess. I love him, but Azriel just..." You ran your hands through your greasy hair. You couldnt remember the last time you'd bathed. Mor gave you a grim smile. "I know... I've had to make similar choices." She put a hand on your shoulder and squeezed slightly.

You didn't particularly want to think of her with the same male as you. Or the fact that Azriel had pined after her for so long. Or that she and Cassian definitely had a similar history. You hoped you didn't utter the words to her though. Mor was your friend.

"They are both special males. You need to make the right choice for you though." She pulled you down to the cold rooftop. You knocked your head a bit too hard on the ground, making her choke back a laugh. "It is your life that you decide. Not theirs, they will make their choices." Her hand squeezed yours reassuringly. The stars above shimmered and lulled you

You couldn't bear to speak with her pulling you apart with her words. With all the truth in the world hiding behind her eyes- buried in her soul. All the answers you knew you didn't want to know right now.

So you let yourself fall into the darkness that bordered the stars, drifting to sleep easily.

+ 

You avoided the Illyrian males as best you could when they returned. You spent most of your time either asleep in your room after drinking, sparring with Feyre or at Ritas. It was a cycle you grew very accustom to. It worked. It kept your mind off him. Off of the heartbreak.

Mor couldn't drink with you the next week. She had 'important business' in the Hewn city or something similar. So you walked to Rita's alone, sat at your usual table and watched the dancers. By your fourth drink you had joined them. You threw yourself into the delight of drink and merriment with strangers. Various hands caressed your body, the group writhed with you. A living being on the dancefloor, all moving together.

It made you feel whole again. You didn't have to think about Cassian's words, or how he thought you weak. Didnt have to think about the pain you caused him. The worries slipped away with each drink.

You were escorted to the street by a bouncer, along with a few other fae that had been a bit too rowdy. You couldn't hear what was said but it sounded something like 'go home'. You sat on the sidewalk, taking a moment for yourself.  The stars above were shrouded by a cover of fog. It would be a cold morning. You could feel it in your wings, the soft leather was raised with goosebumps. 

"I've been waiting for you." The voice was familiar, but it took you a moment to put your finger on it. Azriel. You grinned at him, wobbling when you took your eyes off the stars. His eyes seemed darker than usual, those shadows of his sluggishly crept around him. Around both of you, you realized when you felt them creep up your legs. 

"Why didn't you join me?" You slurred, shooing his tendrils of darkness off of you. They skittered back to his shoulders, wrapping over him like a coat. His face went a bit flushed at whatever they returned to him.

He held a hand out to you, offering to help you up. "Rita's isn't exactly my style." He grinned, hauling you to your feet with his scarred hands. They were remarkably soft, and warm. You hadn't expected the welcome heat from them against your chilled fingertips. 

"Then what is, shadowsinger?"

His gaze was long and full of questions. "I can show you another time. Let's get you back." He walked you to the middle of the street and took off with you gently, getting you used to flying again. He supported you the entire way, you knew you were drifting. He didn't say anything about it, just corrected and pointed to the landing when you were nearing. He landed first, and caught you when you nearly fell on your face from your rough landing. He couldn't hide the amusement. "Shut up." You shoved him slightly.

 "Do you want me to put you to bed?" He asked, not condescendingly like the words suggested. But genuinely. It made your heart stutter. You stammered - "Ah, no.. No I know where it is." You began walking that way.

"I hope so." He watched you go down the hall. Then, once he heard your door click shut (A bit too loud for normal) He took off again, into the night sky. 

[cursestothemoon]

His Bunny

Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

warnings: smut, degrading, also praising, slapping, spanking, spitting, strong language, use of nicknames like bunny and puppy, subspace, daddy kink

Post Azkaban! Sirius with a younger reader

SHE IS OVER 18, IN HER MID TWENTIES AND EVERYTHING IS CONSENSUAL.

17+ only

if i have tagged you and you are UNDER 17 please let me know for future reference 

Sirius Black is a complicated man. You knew this well from the three months you two had been dating. 

Tonk’s is like a sister to you and her boyfriend Remus is a good friend, so when they said they had someone for you to meet, an old, school friend of Remus’ you were expecting someone just like him. Someone timid, quiet, and unbelievably sweet was what you expected. Instead Sirius Black swaggered into your life with his stormy eyes and deliciously wavy hair. He oozed sex appeal and confidence with his each and every step. 

Upon first meeting you, Sirius was sure he didn’t have the will power to stop himself from bending you over the arm of the couch then and there. With your doe eyes and girlish giggle he couldn’t help but picture your in less than appropriate scenarios. And when you had started dating he was sure it was too good to be true, Azkaban escapee with a young little minx like yourself? It was almost too good to be true, and Sirius tended to dwell on it.

“Sirius? What’re you doing sitting by yourself?” You asked walking into the sitting room.

He was sitting in a large velour chair positioned diagonally in front of the large fireplace which had a small fire crackling. Sirius waved you over with a single lift of his finger without looking in your direction just yet. 

You tiptoed your way over to him, his crisp black dress shirt hanging off your right shoulder and brushing against the soft skin of your thighs. 

“Siri...” You cooed climbing into his lap, his hands gripping your waist to help steady you. 

You gripped his face in your hands forcing him to look into your eyes, “Want tell me what’s bothering you?”

Sirius smiled, grabbing your wrist, “Nothing, love.”

You knew him well enough to know that he was lying, and you knew him well enough to know what was bothering him. The best way to get him out of his head was to show him just how much you wanted him.

You placed a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, moving to his cheek, then trailing down his jaw and the side of his neck. Your hips started to slowly grind on his, the rigidness of his trousers against your barely covered cunt made your breath quicken.

Sirius felt your soft puffs of air against his skin as you dropped your head into the crook of his neck. He smirked at the feeling of you dry humping him like a horny teenager. 

“Keep going and you’re going to get yourself in trouble, bunny.” He warned.

A breathy sigh left your lips as you raised your head from his neck to meet his gaze with a mischievous smirk, “What if I wanna get in trouble?”

That had done it. 

Sirius pulled you down to meet his lips in a harsh kiss before shoving you off his lap and onto the floor with a thud. 

“Strip. Now.” His voice was firm, leaving no room for questioning. 

Your fingers came up to unbutton the shirt you were wearing. An annoyed huff left your lips as your fingers kept slipping off the ridiculously small plastic circles. Sirius let out a laugh at how you were struggling, it was a teasing, degrading chuckle that made the walls of your pussy clench. 

“Dumb bunny, you need daddy to do it for you, don’t you?”

The quick nod you gave him was pathetic, and part of your mind was screaming for you to get a grip and not slip into such a fuzzy, submissive state so soon. 

You hurried over to him, knowing if you took too long a spanking would be in order. 

Sirius wasted no time in tearing the shirt open, buttons scattering to the floor making you let out a whimper. Your thin underwear was disposed of in the same fashion, the material pulling apart like tissue paper. 

“Sirius...” You whined against your better judgement.

Before you realized you had done something bad, Sirius gave you smack on your cheek. 

“S’not my name, and you know better than to whine. Over my lap.” He moved to sit down in the chair again, waiting for you. 

Meekly you walked over to him and draped your body across his lap, suddenly very aware that he was still fully clothed. His large palm fell onto the skin of your ass, rubbing the supple flesh gently before his fingers dipped down to your cunt. The feeling of his fingers gathering your wetness made you whimper and push yourself closer to his hand. 

He pulled his hand away completely making you shudder before his palm rested on the globe of your ass, “I want to hear you counting, nothing else.”

“Yes, daddy.”

With that you felt Sirius’ hand give a harsh smack onto your backside.

“One.”

He landed one after the other, making the skin sting and tears well in your eyes. Sirius gave one last spank, the hardest of them all, before smoothing over the red, stinging skin. 

“What’dya say, bunny?” Sirius quipped. 

“Thank you, daddy.” 

You were moved off his lap again, this time gentler than the first, and set onto your knees in front of him. His hand cupped your cheek, thumb running across your jaw as he looked into your eyes, his stare almost too intense.

“You need your daddy, don’t you? Just a dumb little bunny, need me, need your daddy to take care of you.”

You hummed in agreement, nodding enthusiastically, “Just a dumb little bunny, I need daddy.”

Sirius smiled at the honesty dripping from each and every word, you were his good little bunny. 

An idea popped into your mind, your hands moving quick to carry it out. You unbuckled his belt before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, reveling in the presence of his hard cock. Sirius rarely wore underwear.

Your hand grasped his shaft, jerking him off slowly, letting your thumb swipe over his sensitive head and smearing the glistening droplets of precum all along his impressive length. Having waited long enough to taste him, you leaned down to place a kiss onto his glistening head making him shudder. 

“Don’t tease.” He warned from above you, his hand pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail before giving it a hard tug forcing your head back.

Having been in the position before you knew what he wanted and your jaw went slack and fell open instantly letting him spit into your awaiting mouth.

“Thank you, daddy.” 

Sirius smirked, “Such a good girl.”

Wanting to further prove you were a good girl, you quickly put your mouth on his painfully hard length. Hollowing your cheeks, you took as much of him as you could, spit dribbling out from the corners of your mouth acting as lubrication for the hand you had wrapped around what couldn’t fit. You bobbed your head up and down, ignoring the aching that blossomed in your jaw. 

Sirius, who was wanting more, pulled you off of him so he could stand in front of your kneeling form before gripping your hair again and thrusting his cock deep into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat. Your gags and whimpers only spurred him on, making him speed up his thrusts. 

Tears fell down your cheeks as he fucked your face and you felt yourself get impossibly wet with how vocal was being.

“Fuck, bunny, your mouth feels so good ‘round my cock. Y’like when daddy fucks into your mouth?” He asked, voice shaky with the nearing of his orgasm. 

You hummed in response to his question, eyes watching as the vibrations from the sound made his eyes flutter closed and head fall back. His hand gave a few harsh smacks to your cheek before pulling out of your mouth completely. 

“My good girl,” He cooed, “Get to the counter.” 

Your eyes widened in excitement, it was rare that you and Sirius would find an area of Grimmauld Place that he hadn't made you cum on, but this was new. 

Practically bouncing over to the counter you bent over it, or at least you tried to. Being short, your hips were too low meaning it would be quite difficult trying to enter you from behind like Sirius was planning. 

“Look at you. Pathetic little girl, you cant even get yourself up on the counter.” He laughed, slowly walking over to where you were with no hurry at all.

Sirius gripped your hips and lifted you on to the counter, leaving your feet to hang just far enough from the floor to make him chuckle again. 

His knee nudged your legs apart opening up your dripping core to him, making an almost animalistic growl emit from his lips. You felt his palm rest on your lower back whilst the other travelled between your legs and swiped through your slick folds. 

He ran his fingers up and down your spine, “A dripping mess just from making daddy feel good.”

You whimpered, unable to form a coherent sentence as his middle finger seemed to find your clit and started to circle it slowly at first but gaining speed quickly. 

“What was that bunny?” He asked, tone snarky.

Again, all you could do was moan as his pace quickened vigorously. 

Sirius hummed, “Thought my dumb little girl said something like that.’

His fingers left your clit, only to slowly enter your sopping cunt. The action made a vulgar squelching noise from how turned on you were from hearing Sirius’ moans and grunts just minutes before. 

He added a second finger, thrusting them in and out of you with long, deep strokes pulling each and every whimper and moan out of your mouth. His thumb went to your clit and the palm on your lower back held down your hips that kept trying to move against your own accord. Within seconds he found the spongey spot in your aching pussy and used his two fingers to massage the sensitive area with no respite. 

Your sounds were loud now, physically unable to hold them back, you mewled and cried as your orgasm approached. 

“C-cum, daddy wanna cum-” You tried your best to string together enough words to make sense, your forehead falling to rest on the cool counter.

Sirius tutted, hand swatting at your already sore backside, “Ask properly, don’t be a little brat.”

“Can I cum, daddy, p-please?” 

You felt him place a kiss in-between your shoulder blades before responding, “Go on then, cum for daddy.”

His hand carded through your hair, starting from the base of your neck, and pulled making your back arch. That was all it took for your orgasm to rip through you, a pornographic moan leaving your lips as Sirius pumped his fingers slowly, letting you ride out your orgasm for as long as possible. 

You shuddered as his fingers gave your swollen clit a pinch before pulling his hand away from your core.

“Wanna taste bunny, or y’want daddy to clean it up?” He asked bringing his glistening fingers near your mouth. 

You sniffled, “Wanna share with daddy.”

Sirius crouched down so his face was level with yours. You moved to grab his hand, pulling his index finger to your mouth and sucking off your juices while you kept your eyes locked with his. When you were done you let his finger go with a pop and Sirius brought his hand to his mouth, taking in both his index and ring finger.

He groaned at the taste of you, sweet on his tongue now mingling with your spit from the digit you were so happily sucking on. The sight made your pussy clench involuntarily, already wet and ready for Sirius again. 

“Beg for it.” Sirius said lowly, knowing what you wanted just by your blown out pupils and grabby hands.

Your breath hitched at his demand, but you were too far gone to care about the desperation in your voice.

“Fuck me daddy, want your cock so bad. Please fuck your dumb little bunny, I need it. Wanna feel your cum inside me, please.” You cried desperately, tears staining your cheeks as you wriggled around on the counter. 

He brought his hand to your mouth again, “Get ‘em nice and wet for me.”

You did as you were told, sucking and drooling over his thick digits until he pulled them out and wrapped his hand around his girth moving up and down to lubricate his length with your spit. He moved to stand behind you, moving his head between your folds to collect your juices before thrusting into you harshly, giving you no time to adjust. 

His hand went back to your hair and pulled again so your back was arching, his thrusts had pushed your body forward and the counter and the way he had you arched made your clit grind against the edge of the counter. The feeling of how deep Sirius was inside of you and the mix of pain and pleasure on your clit had you nearly screaming as your vision started to go blurry. 

“Can feel your little cunt milking my prick. Who’s tight little cunt is this?”

You sputtered as the tip of his dick seemed to be hitting the spot inside you that made you see stars, “Yours daddy! No one’s but yours!” 

“And who makes puppy feel this good?”

You let out a choked sob, “Daddy does!”

“Daddy’s little girl doesn’t even reach the floor. Y’like it when daddy ruins his pussy, make it all achy and swollen?”

You nodded, the only word able to come out of your mouth being daddy followed by whimpers, moans, and choked cries.

Sirius’ hand on your hip moves to grab your breast harshly before delivering a harsh slap making you yelp and sending burning feeling straight to your core making your walls tighten. 

“Poor thing, gonna cum again? Cum on daddy’s cock, let me feel you.”

With that you felt your second orgasm crash onto you, thighs shaking next to Sirius’ own legs. Soon after you felt yourself come undone Sirius spilled into you, his warm load coating your pulsing walls. 

Sirius let himself slouch over your trembling body, his warm chest coming into contact with your balmy back. He pressed kisses onto your shoulder blades and around your neck as you came down from your high. His cock, slowly softening, was still buried deep in your cunt keeping you stretched around him. 

You let out a sound of annoyance as you felt Sirius move to slide out of you making him let out a soft chuckle.

“Come on, love, gotta get you cleaned up.” He tried to coax you.

You whined again, “No, want daddy to stay.”

“S’not daddy anymore, pretty girl. It’s Siri.” He said slowly pulling out of your pussy. 

The emptiness made tears gather in your eyes, the fuzzy mind space Sirius had fucked you into making you impossibly clingy and eager to please. He set you down from the counter, catching you as your legs trembled under your weight. Taking you up to your shared bedroom and bathroom, and cleaned you up as best he could without getting you in the shower- it was evident that in your sleepy, hazy state it would be difficult to keep you upright. You were slowly coming back, calling him ‘Siri’ instead of daddy and helping him by lifting up your hips as he slid on your underwear. 

“Y’wanna wear my shirt or one of yours?” He asked turning to look at yo from the dresser.

“Yours.” You answered immediately, lifting your arms as he came back to the bed you were sitting on to pull the shirt over your head. 

After making sure you were tucked into bed and comfortable, Sirius went to his wardrobe to grab a pair of black boxers and slide them on. He walked over to the bed and climbed in next to you, his arms coming out to pull you into his side. You rested your head on his chest as you got comfortable in the new position. 

Sirius felt goosebumps blossom on his skin as your fingers traced over the dark tattoos on his chest. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, breathing in the scent of your shampoo. 

“I love you, Sirius.” You mumbled, sleepiness present in your tone.

He gave a fake laugh, “You won’t leave me for some young guy right?”

You could tell his laugh was masking his insecurities.

You shuffled around so you were looking at him, hand cupping his cheek.

“Sirius, I love you. You are the only one I want, the only one I need. You Sirius Black, are the love of my life.” 

He smiled, the faintest blush coming across his cheeks as you snuggled back into his side. 

“I am in love with you too, my good little bunny.” 

Sirius kissed your nose before resting his head on his pillow, eyes focusing on the ceiling as he fell into thought. He thought about you, and he thought about his younger self and how desperately eighteen year old Sirius needed someone like you to keep his head above water. 

tags:

@amourtentiaa

@vsawyer1989​

@lifeofkaze

@siriusement

[just-vibingfr]

Ok ok I want 23 13, and i forgot the number but it said like I’m sorry I’m such a burden so yea with jj maybank im a sucker for angst

Same! Like mood 25/8 is angst, angst, angst!

WARNINGS: Mentions of rape, suicide, self harm, close friends and family thinking you are a liar, ANGST ANGST ANGST, cursing, reader will be using They/Them pronouns.

A/N: I went really angst in this one, this will be all angst with no fluff, at all, like none. Please do not read if anything mentioned will trigger you. This is going to be one of the last OBX fics for a few weeks, I’m going to finish the other four requests I have then I will be writing some Harry Potter Marauders Era stuff! Thank you all for being so patient! I love you guys ❤️ 💕 Bold will be flashbacks!

ABDUCTED

Prompts- 13:God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you. 23:I was kidnapped, I was r@ped! 49: I-I-I’m sorry I’m such a burden

JJ POV:

Thirteen weeks. Thirteen fucking weeks. That’s how long it’s been since they went missing. God, all I can think about is our last conversation.

“I slept with her okay?! I cheated on you and I don’t regret it. At all. You have been nothing but a pain in my ass trying to fix me. Setting me in a path to what, redemption?! Well guess what it’s never gonna fucking happen because I’m a no good, dirty, pogue! My whole family has been doomed to live here, always poor, always a bunch of dead beat losers! I cant be fixed, this is my destiny, so go fuck yourself and you pathetic hopes and dreams and morals! Because none of us liked you anyways, we were only using you to help us grieve after we lost John B. He’s back now, so we don’t fucking need you okay?! I don’t need you! I never have and I never will!”, I ranted. I’m angry at my dad, angry at myself for cheating, angry at Rafe for getting away with everything, angry at Ward for being a bastard, angry at Y/N for making me fall in love with them. I am just so angry. I didn’t mean to take it out on them, but they were there. They’ve always been there even when I treated them like shit. That’s the problem, they were there. I don’t know what to do, I’m so used to pointless hook ups, empty relationships, and abusive behavior, that when someone puts me in a freaking pedestal like I’m actually worth something I flip. I have been looking down for the past five minutes. All I know is their muffled sobs, how their eyes are probably red rimmed and bloodshot, how they’re probably pulling on their wrists like they do when they’re stressed. If I look up I might just crack. “God I wish that you had thought this the before I went and fell in love with you!”, they screamed, letting out all of their emotions. “You said I was different, you said you saw a future together! You told me you fucking loves me! You fucking piece of shit! I hope you get everything you want in the sickest sense! I hope you remember me and feel nothing but pain and guilt! I’m done with you Maybank!”,Those words cut deeper than any blade or bullet could. Being told those venomous words by the person I love most in the world hurts, but I deserve it. I hurt them more than anything, I broke them.

But, now I see truth in their words. Every time I think of them all I can feel is pain, guilt, and remorse. It was all my fault.

Y/N POV

I stumbled through woods. Safety. That’s all I can think. Safety. Safety. I kept stumbling around going anywhere, anywhere as long as it’s away from fucking Jules. That’s what they would call my kidnapper and rapist, Jules. He earned that name because he would take a piece of jewelry off of every virgin he raped. Pathetic. My lower half ached, my mind fuzzy, my wrists scarred. Thirteen weeks, that’s how long I’ve been missing. Thirteen weeks or rape and abuse. Twelve weeks of self harm. I started slitting vanes on my ankles, and the back of my knees, to feel something. Something other than the pain he caused. Self inflicted pain was a way out, a way to still have freedom and independence. Sick and twisted, I know, but it was my way of rebellion. I started to break down crying in the middle of, woods?! It these woods are familiar and I can hear the sound of the ocean. Outer Banks… Outer Banks! Thank God! I’m home. I’m safer, I’m back. I kept stumbling around, my tears making it harder to see. Up ahead I saw what looked like porch lights. “Help! Help!”, I yelled out, although the dryness of my throat mad it extremely difficult.I sped up, basically running to reach a sense of haven. Once I arrived at the house I realized where I was. The Chateau. Anywhere but here. But I needed help, and I was lucky I even found my way here. I knocked on the door, actually I pounded on the door. I was desperate. I heard shuffling and then the door opened revealing a very disheveled Pope, Kiara, Sarah, John B, and JJ.

“Y/N?! How-What-! Just- just come in!” Pope said frantically .

“What happened?!”, Kiara and Sarah said in unison. The boys nodding their heads in agreement to the question.

“I-erm- I was kidnapped, I was raped. I was held in a where house with the other girls. This bitch named Jules was the one in charge. He would take turn with the girls. It was terrifying. I thought he was going to kill me once he saw me helping one of the girls with her miscarriage. I had already had three or four myself and a few of the girls actually gave birth in that where house. The youngest to have a baby was eleven. Eleven fucking years old. I just ran out of the door one day, I got shot. It’s been a few days, maybe five or six? All I know is that I had to burn the wound to stop the bleeding. And I feel really sick right now. I think I’m going to vomit.”, I said before passing out.

I woke up in a hospital bed. The lights burning my eyes. The sheets clean. Someone had bathed me and changed my clothes. I felt clean, it felt good. Everyone scrambled to get up at my sudden consciousness. Looking at me with that pity in their eyes. That pitiful look that made me regret telling them. I didn’t want their fucking pity, I just wanted them to know I have new boundaries, and as my friends they deserved to know. The doctor came rushing in, asking me to explain what happened. I explained everything, the trauma bringing ugly sobs. I didn’t care. I had just been through hell and back, I was allowed to shed some god damn tears.

I was discharged later that day when they had diagnosed me with PTSD, anxiety, ADHD, and self harm. Yay. Weeks went by with my friends checking up on me, never leaving my side: I loved them all for it, but I could see the look of boredom in their eyes, the look that said as soon as I was good enough to be on my own they would leave me to my own devices. It hurt, everything did. I didn’t deserve to put them through this, watching me fall apart. I didn’t deserve this. I needed to end the pain. I had to. And I needed to do it now. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, went to the nearest flat surface and began writing.

“ I’m sorry I’m such a burden. But thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for supporting me. I didn’t really get to know you before John B and Sarah, I see that I really missed out on some good people. Kie, you have been nothing but amazing to me. I can’t thank you enough. Pope, you are like a workers mix of older brother, younger brother, and dad. It always amazes me how you can be protective as fuck, need protecting, and are always prepared with that mind of yours. JJ, I’m sorry. Sorry that we ended things on such terrible terms. You deserve the world and I couldn’t give that to you, I truly apologize for holding you back. But you did break me that night, I was going to end it then, but I was abducted. Ironic how I’m ending it now. I love you all and wish you the best! “

Love, Y/N ❤️

I folded the letter and set it on the island with the pen. Then I crawled into the tub, slit my wrists, and let the darkness take over, sweet, safe, darkness.

@hannahnikohl

[vemuabhi]

ITS OKAY TO TAKE A BREAK

Stressed Reader Comfort!

Hello!!! I am so happy you requested my dear! I am so happy to write for you. Please drink water and take care of yourself. I know it’s a hard time. But don’t lose hope and don’t let stress eat you up. You are loved and you are needed.

Pairing : Sanji X Reader

Word count : 2.2K

Warnings : Not proof read, Stress, insomnia, Hurt then comfort and a very adorable Sanji

Sanji post Tagging : @ye-rin164

 Assignment after assignment. Projects, seminars and exams. Forget about dates, you are not even having time to sleep properly since the last month. Still you stayed up many nights writing all the assignments. Researching stuff needed for the seminars. Memorising all the chapters from all the subjects. Praying to get good credits every time. Even sleeping for those 3 hours a day seemed so stressful because of your piled up assignments, which your teachers just dumped on you mercilessly.

Slowly because of lack of sleep and hectic works, dark circles were visible clearly under your eyes. Headaches became regular now. You weren’t able to focus on things properly. You just… tried to go along with the flow of day. Anything you ate tasted bland making you to loose appetite. All you now wanted was a day to just… rest.

Ignoring the good morning and good night messages from a certain someone made you feel guilty. But because of work, you couldn’t even catch a break. Yes… stress was building up in you.

Researching and taking print outs for the next “group” seminar made you work even harder. Yeah as you know how there is at least one person in the group who doesn’t even attempt to do work. Now you had FREAKING two of them in your 5 member’s team. Guess what happened. You three had to now share the burden of the remaining work.

‘Good thing Sanji isn’t here to see how much of a mess I am right now’, you thought sipping your caffeine. You felt lucky that you were at least getting time to take a quick shower every day.

On the other hand, Sanji knew. He knew how terrible your work was getting, making you to give him a single reply every two days, letting him know you were alive. If you didn’t give him that reply, he’d have gotten a panic attack on how you were. No regular messages, no dates, no video calls, not a single god damn normal call. He was really getting worried. But he stayed patient.

Nami and Robin chan suggested him to go and meet you, but he thought if he went, he’d be a problem to you for not letting you finish your work. His heart was earning to see you. To hug you. To make you something to eat. To just… be with you.

As days passed, you were getting more and more annoyed and you started to have breakouts for almost everything and nothing. Even the smallest things were making you cry. Like once You even cried as you saw a small puppy outside your apartment.

You hated to cry. But because of this pressure you couldn’t even control your emotions. You felt like you were losing yourself.

At Sanji’s house, he and Zoro were doing dishes but Sanji couldn’t help but to worry about you.

“Its just a gut feeling but I cant help but to worry”, Sanji sighed.

“If you feel like shit, why not just go to her place?”, asked Zoro

“Tsk, Its not that easy. What if I interrupt her?”, replied Sanji washing his hands after giving the last plate to Zoro.

The green haired man took the plate and placed it into the shelf. He sighed and said, “Look cook. It’s okay to go and check on her once a while, If you are worried. Maybe she needs you too”

Sanji never thought of that. He was always insecure and felt that he might disturb you if he met you. But this gut feeling of his was telling him to atleast go and see you.

“In 5 minutes, I’m leaving”, the blond told his roommate before going into his room. Zoro just smirked before closing the shef door.

You sat in the corner of the room. Your books were still open and you knew you were supposed to study. Then… the negative thoughts hit you. Your brain wanted to play some tricks on you. And it chose this freaking time to do that.

‘Yeah… you are not gonna get good grades even if you do this’

‘Sanji is so hardworking. He’d be so disappointed to have a person like you as his lover’

‘All your assignments are worthless, stop giving yourself enough credit’, you looked into your mirror.

Tears slid down your face. You looked terrible. With messy hair, unwashed clothes, dirty room. You wanted to tear the place down. You were so hurt and pressured.

*Ring*

Your train of thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. You wiped your tears quickly and stumbled as you made your way towards the main door. You swung open the door and your (eye colour) orbs met the all blue orbs. The golden hair smoothly covered one of his eye. His smile brightly as seeing you.

“Aish! Y/N, how many time have I told you to check before opening the do-”, He didn’t even complete his sentence and you ran into his arms, tightly embracing him, making him to take a step back.

He instantly knew something was wrong with the way to you hugged him. He wrapped his arms around your body. You started to cry as he hugged you.

“Sanji… I… I can’t… I hate this. I don’t like this”, you whimpered between your sobs. He soothingly rubbed the back of your head.

Without breaking the hug, he pulled you inside the house and locked the door. Leaning his back on the door, with still you hugging him, he pulled you even closer. He patted your back while you buried your head in the crook of his neck.

“Y/N, look at me dear”, he asked and you slowly looked at him. His expression from worry turned to one of a sad one.

“I missed you so much”, you cried even more looking at him.

“Shhh~~ Y/N, I’m here. Please don’t cry. This hardship will pass away. Don’t let the stress eat you up”, he kissed your forehead as he calmly whispered into your ear.

Actually Sanji was also so hurt because of your situation. But if he wasn’t strong, who would encourage you.

Soothing your tears away, he kissed your eyes.

“I am sorry. I look horrible”, you sniffed and damn yes, he was not happy by the way you said it.

“Don’t ever say that. You are the most amazing and hardworking person. Give yourself a bit more credit”, he shook your shoulders as he said that.

“Listen here, you are tired, but you are still very much beautiful. All you need is a good night sleep”, he said as he pulled you towards your bedroom.

The bed was a mess. Books, papers, laptop, stationary on it. You felt embarrassed as Sanji saw you in your worst state.

“Sorry Sanji for making you see this”, you said as Sanji just made his way into the room and started to quickly clean the bed.

“You are apologising way too much Y/N. If I didn’t support you now, I shouldn’t even call myself your friend let alone your boyfriend”, he said.

Within minutes, he cleared everything up. You went towards the table to continue your work, but then, you felt your wrist being grabbed.

You looked at him and he looked at you with worried eyes.

“Y/N, I never said you should now write your paper”, he said sternly. Even though his voice was deep, his eyes showed worry.

“But I should complete it”, you said but he was quick to pull you towards him. He lifted you up with grace and walked towards the bed swiftly and plopped you on it. You couldn’t even protest because of how quickly it happened.

You tried to get up but then he decided to jump on you and cuddle you. You chuckled at how he behaved like a small child. When he heard your laugh he looked up to you, his head still placed on your chest. Oh how much he wanted to hear that laugh of yours. But you yourself didn’t knew when you fell asleep. As Sanji was looking while you laughed, you almost immediately fell asleep.

He smiled at you as you slept. He woke up and went towards your desk and sat on the chair.

Looking at the assignment that you should start, he analysed what you wrote in the roughly at the side. He took your phone and placed his thumb on the finger print scanner. Yes of course, you guys are having the healthiest relationship. He went towards the pdf of the assignment due dates and found the assignment you were working on. And damn he got angry at how many assignments you were given. The one you were working on was to be submitted the day after tomorrow.

‘Damn… no wonder Y/N had to stay up most of the night for these’, he thought as he called one of the smartest people he knew. No… it wasn’t Luffy. He has the devils Luck to pass his exams.

“Hey Robin chan! This is Sanji”, he said as he looked at the assignment.

“Hi Sanji. What happened?”, she inquired

“Robin chan, I actually need some help”, he started to ask about the assignment and how to collect the required information related to it.

Robin chan understood the situation and started to explain.

“So Sanji, Don’t waste your time searching all the websites. Just go to the websites I told you and you can see almost every possible explanation required to you”

Sanji searched on the laptop as he placed the phone between his shoulder and ear. The un-lit cigarette was dangling between his lips. The habbit of having it made him focus on things even more. But he ofcourse didn’t want to light it and make you wake up from its smell. And for gods sake, it was your divine room. He would never light a cigarette here. Soon he could see the information required to your assignment.

“Oh yes! I got it Robin chan! Thanks for your help”, he thanked her and they both ended the call after the exchanging a few more casual talks.

He looked at some other sites Robin mentioned and found everything that you required for writing this assignment. He actually wanted to write for you but, he knows that you’d feel guilty if he wrote it. So he just searched it for you. Then looked at another assignment which was the next one you had to submit in 5 days from now. So, he started to search for it and found the required information. He looked at the time and noticed that, it was already 2 in the morning. He didn’t even knew how the time passed while he searched for the information.

Sanji stretched his arms and stood up. He walked towards the bad, where you were sleeping peacefully. He smiled at you before kissing your forehead. He hugged you as he slept beside you.

The next day you woke up to the aroma of the food. You woke up from the best sleep you had. It was so refreshing and you felt so much better with it. You got up from the bed and went to the kitchen, where you saw the blond cooking for you.

You hugged him from behind as he grinned at your cute behaviour. “Good morning love”, he greeted you as he placed one of his arm around your shoulder and snuggled closer to you.

“Thanks for making this baby. I am so thankful for this”, you said pecking his cheek. He smiled and continued to make the breakfast.

“Its alright. Well, Y/N, you need to eat before you start writing the assignment. You smiled looking at him. ‘I am sure lucky’, you thought. You ate breakfast and then Sanji showed you the information he collected to write the assignment. Just when you thought you couldn’t fall in love with him more, he proved you wrong.

He was beside you leaning down with the laptop before you two as he was talking about some websites Robin chan mentioned. You placed your hand on his chin and turned him towards you then  pulled him in for a kiss.

“I think, I found the best boyfriend one could have. I’m so lucky”, you said as you hugged him

He blushed so hard when you said that.

“AHHH!! AND YOU ARE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND Y/N, I LOVE YOU TOO”

That day you both wrote the assignments together and finished them.

“Its okay to ask for help Y/N, I am always happy to help you”, Sanji said as he held the finished papers of the assignment.

You smiled back at him and said, “Thankyou Sanji. I… I’ll ask your help”

XOXOXOXO

So, I hope you liked this one shot. I felt so connected writing this. If you are facing a similar situation. Just remember. You need rest and you can always ask for help. Please give yourself credit and stay positive.

Like/Vote, Comment, Reblog/Share if you liked it!

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[ohheyitsokay]

before tomorrow

Pairing: Javier Peña x (f) reader

Wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: mentions of sex, strong language, a touch of angst

Summary: a classic fake dating undercover mission, with a healthy dose of miscommunication

>>

“Hey, Peña, can we talk?” Your head popped into Javier’s office and an annoying … feeling spiked in the pit of his stomach.

“Yeah,” he gestured for you to come in, pushing some papers aside to give you relative attention. The door closed behind and you sunk into the chair across from him.

There was a comfortable smile on your face, these visits to his office becoming frequent over the past few weeks. He could see you thinking, knowing full well this was one of your first undercover missions, and he almost heard your words before you said them.

“About tomorrow,” you started, but there was something in your eyes he didn’t recognize.

He waited.

The weekend was something he figured you both were looking forward to. It was... an honest to goodness fun mission. Like the ones you’d see in movies. Intel, appearances, earpieces, and playing parts. Out of the heat, no takedowns or chances of innocent people getting hurt. More than that, it had felt like, these past few weeks, that neither of you would mind getting the chance to just hang out together, even for work. No watching eyes, no paperwork to get to, no opportunity for another one of the guys to shoot his shot with you.

At least, Javi had been looking forward to those things. He liked you. You were clever and pretty and you cared about people, genuinely.

“Can we make some rules?” Your tone wasn’t shy, but definitely a bit vulnerable. There was subtext there, and in your sharp eyes, but that was another thing he wasn’t quite sure of.

“Okay,” he said, slow, curious.

You chewed on your words again, Javier’s brown eyes not leaving yours for even a moment. The top button of his shirt was undone, and the humidity was making the ends of his hair curl just a touch.

There was no way you could promise you weren’t going to fall in love with him so you settled for something different.

“No pet names, no messing up my hair,” you held his gaze, trying to match his confidence. Months of banter and comradery should’ve prepared you for that much, at least. The corners of his eyes crinkled just a bit as you counted on your fingers. “And no kissing.”

“Alright, fair enough,” he said, a faint line between his eyebrows forming as he wondered what prompted this.

“Obviously, I’ll follow your lead, and…” you leaned towards him a little bit, a glint in your eye. “If I catch you looking at my butt I get your gun.” You almost cackled at the look on his face as you got up, waving before you left, not even waiting for his response.

Javier ran his hand over his jaw. What a set of rules. You following his lead, telling him not to look, not to kiss… it almost made him wonder what exactly you did want. If kissing was the only physical affection off the table, he could definitely work with that… He shook his head. If he didn’t know any better, that interaction almost made him more excited for the night to come.

-

It didn’t exactly happen like he had hoped.

He spent the morning preparing his bag – he had most of a weekend to pretend to be your lover at an elite conference – and overthinking your rules.

It was no secret that he was a ladies man. Even if he’d stopped talking about the women who once occupied his bed, the office gossip hadn’t. But the idea that you could potentially be bothered by that reputation left a bad taste in his mouth. This was his chance to show you he wasn’t that guy, at least not any more.

That personal mission promptly got in his way. When he picked you up, you were stunning. Sexy. He nearly choked, trying to compliment you, explain to you how gorgeous you were without sounding like goddamn creep.

The rest of the night was the same, Javier cursing himself for tripping over his words and feet. You could feel something was off, too. He was trying so hard to … make this seem like a date that he completely lost his cover.

You’d managed to get part of the Intel you need, thank goodness, but the narrowed eyes of the other guests followed the two of you around the room.

Lovers did not keep each other at arms length, with hovering, respectful hands. When they found themselves molding into each other’s sides, they did not jump apart, flinching, not fully meeting each others eyes. And then certainly did not avoid kissing when the lights were soft in the corner of the room, and the music and drinks were flowing.

No one present questioned you outright, and Javier’s heart protested when you got a message from headquarters and had to slip away.

Tonight, for him, was nice just being with you like this. He was enjoying the flush on your face, and the way your fingers felt, clinging to the fabric at the elbow of his suit. If it were a first date, it would have been perfect, the process of slowly becoming comfortable with each other, close to each other.

But it wasn’t a date at all.

It was a mission. And you were the rookie who had been flustered by your partner and almost cost them all the effort put into the invites, the placements, the whole weekend.

At least, that was what they told you.

It took you long moments to articulate your plan to do better, to reign the butterflies, and to rebuild your walls, but you did it. The nature of the conference and covers dictated you share a hotel room. As you went to find Javi – no, your partner – there, you focused on stripping yourself of the electric heat his hands had left on your skin.

Javier Peńa didn’t have eyes for you. He made eyes at most people, but it was just fun and games and he was good at his job. That was all that was behind those tender touches and adoring looks. He was good at his job, and you just needed to get it together.

But Javier's heart ached a little when you walked into the room. He was already set up on the couch and he almost jumped, standing to greet you.

“How’d that go?” he asked, before anything, the neutral look on your face feeling unfamiliar.

“It’s fine, it’s too late to pull me out anyway. I’ll get it together for tomorrow,” your professionalism was hard to maintain when his eyes were holding yours. They were deep and dark and even here, long hallways away from prying eyes, they seemed like they cared for you.

“And… forget those rules I made.” Now, your gaze was stuck on the floor. There was a small stain by the end table, the maids had tried to cover it with a rug.

Javi wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Still flying high from the feeling of you on his arm, his mind wandered to his previous thoughts about your rules. His mind was occupied for a moment, indulging the idea that maybe this was his chance.

Images of you – under him, gasping, fingernails curling into his skin – short circuited his brain.

“No rules, cariño?” Javier stepped into your space, eager at this off chance he could show you how much he liked you.

No pet names.

His touch started gentle, brushing a strand of hair back before combing it in with his fingers. Broad fingers slid through until he was palming the back of your head, by your neck.

No messing up my hair.

You were still as a statue, your eyes finding his like magnets and metal, and you could feel him draw close, his breath in yours.

The gentle bump of your noses was the a yank, back, back, back to your senses. Heart racing, you pulled away, a white hot feeling tearing through you. One hair closer and you would’ve been done for. This was Javier Peña. He had probably used those same touches to get countless girls and if they were anything, they were proof that you were not special.

“Tomorrow,” you all but spat at him. Turning, you shoved yourself towards the bedroom, hissing under your breath, “I cant believe you.”

Javier watched you go, dumbfounded. And then the realizations hit him one after another, sharp pain with a healthy onslaught of panic.

You thought he had been getting close to you for the job. You thought it was your fault, that you had to do better because this was professional.

He had misunderstood everything, tried to come on to you when you were giving him a chance to be respectful and he ruined it.

Cursing, he wished fruitlessly he could punch himself. Had he done anything, anything at all to make it clear to you he adored you? That if you’d kiss him, sleep with him, it would be a damn honor? That it had nothing to do with the mission?

Fuck.

He figured he had roughly ten seconds before you remembered to close the door and it would be all over.

Pushing into your room, he saw your expression and felt physical pain shoot through his chest.

Hot, angry tears were carving paths down your face, and they almost drove him to his knees. By the door, he tried to make himself look smaller, trying to tell you on face he hated himself for being so blind tonight.

Speak, words, now. His mind yelled.

“Querida, please, I'm sorry,” he was talking fast, desperate. He told you as quickly as he could how much of an idiot he was, how he didn’t mean to get you in hot water. You stared at him, wide eyes, tears drying as he tried to explained how much he liked you, how he was trying to do this thing right and screwed it up. How the last thing he wanted was for you to think you were just another opportunity hook up.

When he was done, he was almost breathing hard, forcing himself to wait for you to process before he risked shooting himself in the foot again.

Slowly, almost as if you were in a trance, you reached behind you and grabbed an overstuffed pillow off the bed. Javier was nervous you were going to hit him for a moment before you held it to your face and groaned.

“Of all the stupid, emotionally incompetent men in the whole world I just had to go and pick you,” your voice was muffled but the feeling the words gave Javier was clear as spring water. He was fine being stupid, knowing you ha picked him.

“Get out, we can figure this out tomorrow,” your face was visible again and then you threw the pillow at him and he retreated. A goofy smile was growing on his face. He had made a fool of himself, then apologized and confessed and still you picked him.

You picked him.

The idea of going back out into the field tomorrow became more than exciting. Javier felt like a damn teenager in love. He was still confused, but at the same time he wanted to go to sleep quickly, so he could skip to the part where you were near to him again.

There was a lot left to figure out, but he felt light now that you were no longer mad at him. Settling into the couch, he was already half dreaming of the next day, playing at your lover for real this time, and … and kissing you.

That thought made him slow down, and wake up again. Something felt off, and that feeling carried him back towards your room.

His knock was quiet, nervous you wouldn’t hear, and nervous you would.

When you opened the door, you looked soft and confused and he knew.

“Querida… our first kiss shouldn’t be undercover, it should be now,” he said, with determination. Before the night could end, he had to show you, prove to you that he was serious. “Before the mission starts again,” he added, and he watched the understanding fill your eyes.

“Do you mean that?” your voice was small, but equally determined.

And he nodded, swallowing.

He was offering to do this, for real: not for the game or the job or anything else, because none of those mattered here in your hotel room. It was hard for you, an hour before, to let him apologize. To let the wall that said he was in a category of men who would only hurt you. But you had, had deconstructed your self preservation and now…

The man in front of you was asking for permission to fall in love with you.

And when he kissed you, solid and gentle, you both knew you’d let him.

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