#but then i was like wait jon would totally say that

[cult-of-the-eye]

Jonathan Sims: I'd love to be hunted for sport, I think it would be a fitting end.

*distant sounds of Alice "Daisy" Tonner getting tackled to the ground by one Martin K Blackwood followed by a muffled "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE"*

[user211201]

Listen Up: Swimmer

--- Originally posted on 2021-04-21 by newyoutf ---

Jon twisted back and forth under the showerhead, singing along to the music blasting from his phone on the counter.

The music lowered in volume for a second, making way for two loud dings. Jon reached out from the stream of water and fumbled with the screen in his wet hands. It was a message from Oliver, his best friend, “Hey bro, got something you should listen to.”

“Bro?” Jon wondered. Since when did Oliver say “bro”? Jon blinked, struggling to think for a moment. Oliver talked like that all the time, he was American after all... wasn’t he?

Attached to the message was an audio file. Jon figured it must have been a new song by one of the pair’s favorite pop divas, perhaps a new leaked track. Jon hit the play button, placed the phone back down, and returned to the hot water.

A harsh static buzz and what sounded like garbled speech boomed from the phone, taking Jon by surprise. The corrupted audio cleared up after a moment and a deep, male voice started.

“Welcome. This audio program is custom designed. Just for you. Ensure you are in a comfortable, private place. You will not want to be disturbed.”

“Oliver,” Jon rolled his eyes, thinking that surely something starting this ridiculous would be some sort of joke or meme. After all, Oliver had always been a dumb joker. “Wait,” Jon felt confused, he could have sworn Oliver was a quiet, twinky lad like himself?

Jon realized couldn’t form a solid impression of his friend in his mind. They met at their university in London and became best friends, bonding over their mutual love of pop music and ogling the campus jocks. But now it was like that reality had been shattered. Those memories gave way for ones of meeting each other at the campus gym shortly after Oliver arrived from the US. Oliver was his best, hot, American friend, right? Jon’s cock twitched at the new image of his friend as he placed his face under the stream of hot water in an attempt to clear his head.

“Relax. Take a deep breath, in and out.”

Jon unwittingly followed the instructions. The frown fell from his face and his body relaxed, taking in the warmth of the water.

“You’re Oliver's best friend. Makes sense, given you’re a total alpha too.”

“Both wha- ah! Ah!”, Jon planted his hands against the wet, tiled wall as the words sent pleasure rippling through his body. He looked down feeling a strong warmth against his leg but it wasn’t the hot water. His semi-hard cock had blasted a rope of cum against his leg. “What the fuck?” Jon mumbled.

“What a coincidence that you’re both six-foot-four. It serves him well in the gym, the same way it serves you well in the water.”

Jon howled in ecstasy, spluttering and moaning, as his five-foot-nine body stretched higher. His soft cock drooled hot cum as it rapidly began to rise. His arms pushed against the wall, lengthening for better performance in the pool. He stepped backward as his head struck the showerhead and rose even higher. Hot water poured down the front of his much longer torso and legs.

“Your shoulders are so broad. Typical of you swimming jocks.”

Unable to resist the command, Jon's shoulders crunched and throbbed, thrusting out larger and bulging with muscle. “God! W- What the fuck i- is... ugh... happening?!” he roared, terrified not just by the growth gripping his body, but the incredible pleasure it wrought on him.

“Those are some long, meaty fucking arms, Jon.”

“F- fuck!” Jon roared, spraying a massive load up the back of the shower feeling his narrow arms explode with thick mounds of muscle, rippling across his biceps and triceps. The growth spread down his arms, his forearms bloating with tight, lean muscle. His wrists cracked as they thickened.

“Hands that big must be useful for pushing through the water.”

Stifled screams rumbled from Jon’s tightly clenched mouth. His hands were pressed against the back of the shower, clicking and twitching as they began to swell across the tiles. The fingers accelerated longer and longer. His palms spread monstrously broad. He flexed his hands, in total awe of their disproportionate size; perfect for pushing through the water.

The experience was like nothing Jon ever felt. A sexual eruption taking place across every cell as the words rewrote his body. “Can’t... resist... so g- good,” Jon grunted, gasping for air.

“You clearly work out for the aesthetics as well, not just the pool. Your shredded chest is proof of that.”

Jon couldn’t even attempt to fight anymore, but nor did he want to. His chest puffed and bulged, distorting the path of the water running across it. The previously non-existent pecs pushed outward from his widening chest. His cock trembled as the changes took hold in his abdomen, causing his flat stomach to erupt with tight, thick abs. Jon gripped his ass, feeling it swell into his huge hands while he erupted cum across the tiles once more.

*“That’s the spirit, Jon. You’re a *stud.”

Jon felt those words echo in his ears and rumble down his throat. Grunts and pants became deeper and deeper as his thickened and voice morphed. His head groaned as it enlarged to fit his frame. Hair began to flourish out of his cheeks and across his upper lip while the mop of medium-length hair on his head retreated, leaving a short, handsome cut in its place. He stroked his cock with one hand and clasped his face with the other feeling his jawline refine and the angles of his face sharpen. He turned to the mirror cabinet, seeing just a sliver of his improved visage. Jon gasped at the sight and immediately ejected another load of cum.

He didn’t just look like a swole swimming jock. He felt like one too. He rejoiced in his mind being filled with thoughts of the pool, weightlifting, spotting his bros at the gym, and fucking them afterward.

“Good to see the bottom half matches the top.”

Jon’s legs trembled. He clutched the slippery tiles harder to hold himself up, the pleasure reverberating through his legs almost too much to bear. Muscles spasmed in his calves, swelling with every little twitch. Muscle wasn’t all that was gracing his legs. Dark hair grew forth from the skin, coating his powerful legs in a layer of fur. Jon swore under his breath, impressed by the hair spreading up and down his legs. He thought about how he refused to shave like other swimmers, he liked the hair, and regardless his superior form needed no extra boost. His body responded to the suggestion, triggering a fine layer of hair to sprout from his forearms, between his pecs, in a trail over his abs and across the tops of his feet.

Memories of the pool, the beach, and victories across university swimming tournaments swarmed his brain. Trophies and medals materialized in the bedroom just next to where he was showering.

“Damn, it’s no surprise you outperform everyone in the water with feet that massive. And you know what they say about that, Jon.”

Every one of the toes on Jon’s size eight feet surged with pleasure. He moaned loudly as they began to push across the floor of the shower while his soles stretched to catch up. He recalled new memories of having large feet, how they propelled him to victory in the pool, and the comments people would make: “Bigfoot”, “You know what they say...”, “Where can you even buy size sixteens?”

“Sixteen?!” he repeated in his mind. The brief shock turned to anticipation as he felt his soles continue to march forward longer and wider, his toes twitching while they reshaped long and meaty. Jon growled aloud as he expelled another load, “God, yeah... so f- fucking... big.”

The jock trembled under the stream of hot water, desperate for sexual release. He looked down as the expanding feet settled into excessively large size sixteens, curling his long toes as his six-inch cock began to quiver in its desperation to grow larger as well. It felt as though it were perpetually hardening, only to then push longer and girthier instead. Jon grasped his wet cock and thrust into his grip hard and repeatedly. He relished in the sensation of the veins bulging and the shaft thickening.

*“I guess what they say really is true, isn’t *it?”

The audio toyed with him, pushing his cock just that little bit longer and pumping it ever so slightly thicker. It pulsed and twitched, gradually and slowly with every breath. His uncut, British foreskin slid further backward, as a larger, blunter head swelled outward. Jon smirked as he groaned and growled, stroking faster and faster, enthralled by the beautiful nine-inch weapon he now possessed.

“Cum.”

“Oh yeah! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Jon made three final long, hard tugs on his thick pole before roaring in delight as unspeakable ecstasy filled him. Cum rocketed upward against the water rushing from the showerhead, ejecting what remained of Jon’s old genetic material while orgasm after orgasm pounded his body.

Exhausted and dripping wet, he stepped slowly out of the tub, unsteady on his new legs and feet.

*“Remember to share this recording with your friends*.”

And with that, the playback stopped. Jon looked at himself in the mirror, still shocked, but enraptured with his new body and looks. He grabbed his phone and wiped the water from the screen, struggling to unlock it with his longer fingers. He typed out a reply to Oliver, “That shit was fucking lit mate!”

A few miles away, a sweaty Oliver was busy lifting weights, waiting for his friend to give him some indication that something had happened. He had to place the weight down slowly as his mind blurred for a moment. He saw the images and memories that he had of his friend change and shift. Gone were the images of a quiet little twink, replaced by those of a loud, masculine swimming jock. Oliver smiled cockily realizing what had just happened. Then, as if on cue, his phone vibrated with Jon’s reply. Following was a photo of a huge, semi-hard cock swinging above two gargantuan feet. Oliver felt his own cock stiffen slightly at the image.

“Hell yeah, bro! You should be selling these pics like I do,” Oliver sent in response, getting a deep chuckle out of Jon.

Both men now looked at their phones, horny and pondering who next to share the mysterious audio file with.

[toast-on-dandelioms]

Hello, I really a fans of your work and always waiting for the updates. I have a question, what happen if Y/n just ignore the batfam as Y/n also turn to superfam becoming their family. It also assuming Alfred A-Okay with it. Oh, also Y/n might be have relationship with one of the superboys and she love to cuddle with the lover. Well, that's just my wild imagination thinking about.

Oh well, I hope you have great days.❤️😘

Thank you for liking my work! If you're asking for part 4, it will come out soon and probably by the end of next week!

Well, I don't think Alfred would be totally a-okay with this and after a bit he would act to 'fix' the situation.

He wants you to stay at the Manor and be appreciated too by the Batfam even though they don't even know you exist.

He has tried before, talking about you to Bruce and the others but they always dismissed him with the excuse of being busy or forgetting about you the next day.

And seeing you giving up on being with your real family and finding love in another family that actually accepts you and he can't accept that.

You're supposed to be with him as the rest of the Waynes not with some alien family.

He would act like he supports you whenever you come to visit him since you mostly live with the Kents nowadays and come to the Manor to grab the things you needed since you were moving your stuff from the Manor to the Kents house.

After a while you start to come home, to come back to him even less before you just visit him maybe once a month before it turns into no more visiting him since you're busy with school, dance classes and the vigilante role you still have.

And Alfred hates it so he decides that he can't stand to watch his boys obsess over your vigilante persona when they can't even bother to notice you weren't living in the Manor anymore.

So he decides to call a family meeting without your knowledge and explains everything, who you were behind the mask and how dissapointed and ashamed that the people he raised didn't even acknowledge that you existed.

Their reaction, which were mostly of confusion before realisation bothered him but he stayed silent and used their reaction to manipulate them, make them think you weren't in the right place with the Kent family.

And after a week from that meeting, you started to receive texts from all the batfam and also kept seeing them everywhere, with Bruce at school or when you were patrolling the city.

He would always try to talk to you, which you ignored or gave him the finger while swinging away, preferring to not engage in his tries to connect with you.

Plus he would show up at your dance recitals when you never said anything to Alfred about them and he would always be right in first row with a smug smile since he knew you couldn't do anything.

Plus you already knew they knew who you were behind the mask, they said your name when you had your mask on so many times you wanted to punch their faces.

You had to skip a few days of school because Tim and Damian started to show up at your same highschool and sitting next to you in class, to which no one would say anything and it frustrated you since highschool was one of your safe places but not anymore.

You tried to ignore Dick and Jason's attempts at stalking you, not because it was noticeable since you never saw them but the spider sense made you aware you were being watched and after a bit you were able to notice them following you.

Yes you did feel proud since you didn't have any detective training like the others but still knew who was following just by using the things around you.

You vented your frustrations with Clark and Conner and they did help by letting you skip school and everything but you had to go back to school or it would affect your attendance and damage your reputation and curriculum for future colleges applications.

But one fateful day, you went to a mission with Conner and Clark since they needed a third person but couldn't bring Jon since he was busy with school, so you went in his place.

During the mission you got ambushed, Conner and Clark were at disadvantage since the attackers (not sure on the term, the people that attacks) somehow had kryptonite weapons.

Plus you were also fighting, using the tasers and also the objects around you like rocks or trees.

Yes, you did throw a tree at a group of them and you also got Clark telling you not to do it again. Did you listen though? No.

As you were fighting you suddenly got stung by something in the leg, and when you touched the spot where it hurt you saw a small dart there.

You opened your mouth to call for Clark or Conner but someone covered your mouth and held you as you fainted while Clark and Conner had to flee since the attackers were too strong with the kryptonite.

The last thing you saw was the smiling face of Dick before completely giving in the drug you got injected in your body, not hearing them fight about who was gonna carry you in the batmobile.

[catpriciousmarjara]

DP x DC: Dick's Totally Normal Date?

Inspired by that one juju sanpo where Yuuji thought Megumi was being hit on and he, Nobara, and Gojo pull out their ridiculous Formation B to drive away the potential date. And I thought, 'this, but batfam, but veer wildly to the left, with DP'. So here you go.

Third floor study, Wayne Manor

"Thank you all coming on such short notice", Tim said, eyes serious, one hand on the pile of documents on the table.

His siblings nodded at him, faces grave, except for Duke who just looked confused.

"I'm sure all of you already know why this meeting was called-

"I don't actually know why we are here", Duke interrupted.

He was thoroughly ignored.

-and are just waiting for confirmation. But the wait is now over. I have here the results."

His siblings all leaned forward, except for Cass who was too chill for that, apprehension radiating through their frames. Though Duke was more confused than apprehensive.

Tim sighed. "It's true. Dick is dating."

Gasps ran through the group.

Tim dropped the bigger bomb. "And its not a redhead."

Jason cursed as he leaned back in his chair, face directed at the ceiling exasperatedly. Steph brought a fist down on the table, shaking her head. Cass simply placed an elbow on arm of her chair, chin supported by the back of her hand. Damian just scoffed.

Duke looked at all of them still trying to see what the issue was and why they were even here doing this. Tired of being out of the loop the young man decided to just go ahead and bite the bullet.

"Question!", he began,"Why is Dick dating someone a problem?"

They all stared at him.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Dude, he dated a witch king that tried to make us all into creepy dolls just a year and a half ago. The bastard almost turned everyone in Gotham into literal hamster plushies when they broke up."

"His immediate rebound after that relationship was the alien that tried to hunt him for sport", Steph contributed helpfully.

Jason waved an arm towards her while looking Duke, as if asking him why he wasn't getting the point.

And Duke...really wasn't getting the point. In fact he seemed to be getting even more confused.

"Dick's a habitual monsterfucker, old news, so what? And it isn't as if every single one of you haven't had some kind of romantic relationship with non-humans before. Even Damian's dated Jon! Besides Heira did not turn us all into hamsters. That was a joke. Aaaand Ga-va'se is a great guy and he definitely wasn't a rebound. Also he and Dick broke up really amicably and they still meet up for boba and he gives us really cool alien shit so I don't know why you guys don't like him."

"Duke, Ga-va'se hunted us for sport", Tim said from the side.

"That was because we were in his hunting grounds! Plus he apologized for that!", Duke defended his alien buddy. The guy was really nice! What was their hang up with him? Sure he was a bit murderous but hey, Duke dared his siblings to find one person from each of their social circles who wasn't a bit murderous and insane. Sure he hunted them for the better part of five days in a terrifying alien jungle a galaxy away from home but that was honestly their fault for intruding on the hunting grounds of his people in the first place. Plus it was all a misunderstanding!

"I agree with Thomas", Damian said as he thumbed through the files Tim had distributed among them. Across from him Cass was doing the same thing, rapidly turning the pages. "Partially at least. The Yautja was a worthy candidate for Grayson's hand-

"You just like him because he got you that sword, Demon Spawn", Jason drawled in that assholish tone of his that never failed to incense Damian.

-Shut it Todd! Ahem. As I was saying Ga-va'se was worthy but Heira was an imbecile. Unfortunately there are more Heiras in Grayson's romantic history than Ga-va'ses so it would be prudent for all of us to remain vigilant", the youngest member of the Wayne family finished, closing the file decidedly. "Especially if his current choice isn't a redhead."

Duke had to ask. "Again whats up with the hair colour thing?"

Tim looked at Steph pointedly. "Officer Stephanie Brown please proceed with orientation."

A truly terrifying grin bloomed on Steph's face. She stood up from her chair and walked to the wall, pulling down a projector screen. A click of a button and it came alive, with what looked like an honest to god power-point presentation on Dick's dating life. Tim slid Duke an brochure of all things.

"Dick's choice of romantic partners can be classified into three categories", she began as if she was a lecturer. She was even wearing glasses. "Redheads, which everyone and their third aunt's weird dog knows about, morally ambiguous older men, and extremely dangerous non-humans. There are outliers of course, and overlaps, but generally he tends to keep his choices confined to these groups. Turn to page 3 please."

Duke dutifully turned to page 3, which looked like it contained profiles of the various people Dick's dated in the past. If it was any other family this would be a gross invasion of privacy.

"Exhibit A- Barbara Gordon, great taste, mostly downhill from here I'm afraid. Exhibit B-Slade Wilson aka The Terminator, no I'm not kidding, the entire thing is weird and toxic. And Exhibit C-the weird eldritch thing Dick dated two years ago who I'm pretty sure is Cthulhu's actual cousin who made us all taste colours for a week straight."

"Deathstroke?", Duke exclaimed, weirded out.

Jason raised an eyebrow. "Thats who bothered you? Not Cthulhu's cousin?"

Duke huffed. "Their name is Umh'uidrritl and I know where to draw the line."

Tim side-eyed him. "On a whiteboard with an old marker maybe."

"Hey!"

"Back to my very important power-point that no one else is going to interrupt-",Steph said as she glowered at them, "-mapping Dick's dating history shows us that the more volatile of his partners tend to cause trouble post-breakup. A deeper investigation would reveal that while his harem of redheads mainly just stir up delicious, juicy drama, hot tea and angst all around baby, bless their souls, his harem of morally ambiguous older men, and harem of extremely dangerous non-human entities tend to lean towards more destructive reactions. While the former is content with kidnapping and threatening and the assorted standard yandere meltdowns-

"Yandere?", Damian murmured.

Jason just snorted.

-the latter likes to cause damage on a larger scale". The blonde gestured with a flourish and a new slide popped up.

"Exhibit A- That time Gotham almost got gobbled up like a light snack by that space whale pet of the Ryagonian emperor. Exhibit B- That time a Fairy Queen tried to spirit Dick away and almost put the entire city into an enchanted coma, which was honestly kinda festive, I'd never been more well rested. Exhibit C- That entire thing with the tentacles that we are all better off without revisiting."

Everybody in the room blanched at that last one. Duke nodded his head at their reactions. The ink really was hard to get off of clothes.

The screen went dark and she pulled the cord at the bottom, the projector screen rolling up. The blonde turned to them with a smug and satisfied expression on her face.

"In conclusion, despite there being no biological connection between them, and the fact that romantic and sexual preferences are not genetically inherited, Dick has managed to acquire Bruce's proclivity for an interesting dating life, which we all did if we're being honest. Its just that while Bruce dates across the law, Dick dates across realms and his romantic entanglements often happen to be so above our pay grade that its ridiculous. Data has shown that redheads cause the least amount of property damage so whenever he dates non-redheads, we have to keep an eye on the tea-I mean an eye on the situation."

She sat back in her chair with a satisfied air. "Questions?"

"Yes", Tim said miserably. "Did you have to bring Bruce into this? Like ew."

"I had to, yeah!", Steph replied cheerily. "You stole my croissant alienfucker!"

"Excuse you the alien fucks me thank you very much!"

Jason almost gagged. "TMI Timbo TMI!"

Duke frantically gestured at Damian. "Damian's right here!"

The boy in question just looked supremely unimpressed. "I was raised by assassins Thomas."

"Where's Cass?", asked Steph, munching on a packet of chips she produced from somewhere.

"Left this clown fest to assist Pennyworth in drugging father so that he can actually rest."

"Ah", said the whole room. Each one individually resolving to go to Bruce's room and get blackmail pics later. Sibling solidarity at its finest.

"Back to the matter at hand", said Tim, "Dick dating a possibly dangerous entity even remotely around the time frame when the Joker turned up dead is a red flag. And that's why our secret society is meeting today."

"Okay one, you think Dick's new boyfriend offed Joker? Two, this is a secret society?", asked Duke, his earlier confusion now fully evolving into resignation.

"I already filled out your documentation."

"What?"

"Don't worry. Everything's in order."

"Thats not...you know what? Thanks Tim."

"You're welcome!"

Steph chortled at the entire exchange and almost choked on her chips. Karma.

Jason leaned back with his hands behind his head.

"You know, if this guy merked the clown, and has no evil plans or something...I'm all for him actually. Guy has my vote. If they get married I might even decide not to embarrass Dickie at the wedding", he said while Steph hacked up a lung in the background.

"Be that as it may Todd, we still need to monitor the situation. If this Daniel did have anything to do with the Joker's death, then he is a dangerous individual who could pose a threat to Grayson", remarked the young Robin, and then as an add-on, "...and Gotham."

Duke sighed. There really was no escaping this was there? "So what do we have on the guy?", he asked Tim.

"Page 4. Name-Daniel Nightingale, prefers to be called Dan. Father, Vladimir Masters. Mother, Daniella Nightingale. Sister, Danielle Nightingale. Brother and sister are apparently vacationing-

"In Gotham?!, Duke asked horrified.

-and Dan met Dick during a Halloween Party in Bludhaven-

"In Bludhaven?!", Steph asked appalled.

"Why was a supposedly vacationing wealthy European in Bludhaven for Halloween?", Jason asked with a frown.

"European?!", Damian asked scandalized.

-And they hit it right off. As of now, they have been dating for five months and the relationship looks to be going strong. While the records seem legitimate, something's off about them. Also the Joker turned up dead on Valentine's Day. So my verdict...sus."

There was a bout of thoughtful silence.

Then.

"Daniella, Daniel, and Danielle? What the fuck? What are they? Clones?" asked an incredulous Jason, aghast at the unoriginality.

Duke scrutinized the provided photos closely. "Whoa, this Master's guy's genes really stood no chance! They all really could be clones for real."

Steph whistled. "He ripped!"

They stared at her. She sipped her boba unrepentantly.

"What? I'm right! He ripped!"

She was indeed right. He was ripped.

Duke put the file down. "So what's the plan? Do we just follow him around till we find out what he is or something?"

"Okay so the next week Gotham's got a week long 'Joker is Dead' carnival planned-

"Another one?", Damian asked surprised.

"We deserve it", both Jason and Steph reply vehemently.

-and Dick said Dan's taking him to the fair every single day of the celebration. If everything goes according to plan, we can sneak our way into the organizers, stall owners, ride operators whatnot and do some tests to figure Daniel Nightingale out. And if he's normal trouble we prepare for the breakup meltdown. If he's a different sort of trouble we deal with it."

"We gotta be careful though". Steph obnoxiously slurped her boba. "Or else Dick will deal with us."

They all shuddered in fear. Dick Grayson could be a mean bitch when it came to revenge.

"We'll just have to execute it well. Thomas will be adequate for the job. The rest of you fools will just have to step up, especially you Drake", Damian said as he crossed his arms across his chest, nose up imperiously.

The two robins, red and regular, sneered at each other.

Jason 'hmpfed'. "Sounds good enough. If that's it I'm gonna go. I got shit to do". He stood up from his chair and stretched, a symphony of cracking sounds coming from his spine. "Shit I'm old."

"You're just gonna re-watch Pride and Prejudice 2005 again". Tim also stood up, even more concerning popping sounds coming from his spine.

"Damn right I am", said the crime lord as he ambled out of the room.

Steph also got out of her chair and started collecting her trash, Alfred would kill he if she didn't. "I'm all in on this plan Timtam! Clown's dead, Gotham's finally calmed down, I went to bed early...No way I'm letting some ripped Adonis mess with my peace and quiet no matter how mouthwateringly swole he is! And he is swole!" With that she also swept out of the room.

"I'll update Cass!", she shouted from the corridor.

Damian had already disappeared. This left Tim and Duke alone in the room. When Tim also made to leave, Duke finally managed to break through the disbelieving fugue this entire meeting had pulled him under.

"So where's the plan Tim?"

"Oh", said the sleep deprived vigilante, already halfway out the door, "I emailed it you already."

And then there was one.

Duke just stood there processing that last sentence for a long two minutes. He sighed.

"So this meeting could've been an email."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dick is rather adventurous in his dating life. Helen of Troy vibes.

The entire operation reveals nothing suspicious. According to all the tests known to man and bat kind, Daniel 'I prefer Dan' Nightingale is a completely normal member of the Homo sapiens species. Not even a metagene. Just generously swole.

Duke being half immortal doesn't really get his siblings' reservations against some of Dick's exes. He doesn't realize that beings like Umh'uidrritl, who was not Cthulhu's cousin but a distant relative by the way, give most people incomprehensible nightmares. He on the other hand thought that Umh'uidrritl and his pet colossal hydrothermal squid were perfectly lovely. Though he and Damian high-key root for their Yautja friend.

There is absolutely no romantic relationship between Vlad and Danny. Dan and Danielle are just little shits who just love the horrified expression that overtakes Danny's face every time he sees their IDs for vacation time. To be clear its the Vlad part that horrifies him, he rocks as Daniella. Vlad, who is reformed here, is also horrified at this. Which is why the two little shits do it. Also the DP characters are all aged up. Could be by a few years, could be by millennia. They haven't deigned to reveal that to me.

Bruce spend the entire week under Alfred's careful supervision, getting rest and relaxation. He had spa days with Clark and Diana. He slept ten hours. He felt energetic in the morning. He hummed a cheerful tune. It was disgusting. He remained blissfully unaware of his eldest son's latest romantic adventure. Good for him.

Alfred thinks Ga-va'se was a splendid young man and that Umh'uidrritl was a lovely partner. He just wishes Master Dick would stop dragging in ruffians like that ill-mannered Heira every now and then. Truly a son of Master Bruce that one. What about that wonderful demon boy from a few years ago Master Dick? Mezarel was it? Oh he was sealed away, was he? Well bat your eyelashes at that man Constantine you and Master Bruce keep around and try to get that boy back will you? Such a well mannered young devil he was!

Alfred becomes that mother-in-law that never truly accepts Dan completely, still holding out hope for Mezarel to make a comeback. I've heard harems are wonderful this time of year Master Dick. A second husband would do you some good!

Dan finds this hilarious. His family does as well. Alfred also likes Dan. They have a weird understanding.

Cass likes most of Dick's exes. Except for Heira. Everybody hates Heira. Although Duke kinda likes him but even sunshine boy has his limits.

Yes the bat-siblings are doing this only for the safety of Gotham, not to also low-key annoy their big brother at all.

Yes Dan and Dick were aware of the hi-jinks.

Yes Cass did think they should just ask Dick.

Yes Dick is aware of who and what Dan is. He met him at a supernatural Samhain gala he literally stumbled into. He just rolled with it, celebrating the end of the harvest with the decidedly non-human revelers, and not only ate the food there but also drunk flirt with Dan.

Dan said, 'You're stupid. I like that in a human' and saved him from being stolen away by some very interested entities. It was the start of a beautiful relationship. Dani sometimes calls them the 'tits and ass duo' and she's right.

Danny is just happy that Dan found someone he loves and could keep up with him. He almost felt like a proud mother at their wedding and then had an existential crisis about it.

The family does find out Dan's real identity. It was after Dick accepted his proposal and it was hilarious. Jason meets Jazz at the wedding. He thinks he got infected with Dick's redhead fetish.

Yes this is all for my Dick/Dan propaganda. I hope you're not immune.

[andy-wm]

https://x.com/jmnberries/status/1817503692083396934

LOUD AND CLEAR

Said by Jimin himself. He's searching for the person he's meant to be with, the one his heart is waiting for. He passes one person after another thinking is it you or you. And guess what ? IT WAS ALWAYS A WOMAN.

You and your theory about WHO proven wrong for 975939488848th time 😛

My goodness Anon, are you telling me my theory has been discussed that many times? That's quite an achievement! I didn't know my theories - or I - had such a far reaching impact.

[basking in the glow of this proud moment]

Ok I'm done basking, now back to the ask:

For those of you playing along at home, here's the tweet Anon sent in, for context.

Anon, I'm going to quote you, since you said it so succinctly...

"He passes one person after another thinking 'is it you or you'. And guess what ? IT WAS ALWAYS A WOMAN."

Absolutely correct Anon!

It WAS always a woman

I'm glad we agree on this.

You also said "He's searching for the person he's meant to be with, the one his heart is waiting for."

Yes! We agree on this too!

He's definitely working hard to find the one his heart is waiting for - you said it yourself, he's searching. He's actively looking for them.

We're doing well so far...

Oh but context is important here, right??

We should probably clarify that he's actually describing the last scene of the MV - the one he's about to film. He's not describing himself or his own life.

Yes, to be totally transparent, Jimin is describing a scene he's shooting for the MV of a song - a song he asked Jon Bellion to write. A song he himself didn't contribute to beyond that. He didn't write the visual narrative for the MV either, that was the creatives at Lumpens. No doubt he gave a lot of input but he didn't provide the material.

Did you forget that part, Anon? Or did you think he was actually describing his own life? Or... were you sneakily pretending he was talking about his real life when he said those things, because that suited your argument?

If you were trying to make it sound like he was talking about his own personal lived experiences, that kinda sucks. Because we love Jimin for WHO HE IS. We don't need to make shit up about his life and pretend things are real when they aren't.

We don't need to pretend, Anon, we can just observe, write about what we see - honestly and objectively and without judgement - and then step back and look at the situation.

I guess you might be wondering how come I'm analysing everything if I think we should just be talking about what we see. Fair call. I don't mean that we can't read between the lines or make educated (substantiated) guesses that we can back up with facts (and cite our sources - I am a librarian after all). I also don't mean we can't look deeper than the surface. There are always layers of meaning and hidden messages in the art produced for BTS. I get right into it because I enjoy it - my background is in visual arts analysis so it's kinda my jam - but I'm not just making shit up. I have a wealth of learning and experience I'm basing my analysis on. I'm also not claiming that it's fact - it's an interpretation - It's my interpretation (and just quietly I am pretty good at this stuff so it's a justified and plausible interpretation).

What I'm saying is don't purposefully misinterpret what you see to mislead, or to fuel an opinion or argument that doesn't stand up otherwise. If you have to bend the truth to back up your argument, you might want to reconsider that argument. Theory is built on evidence, not the other way around.

But back to Jimin...

Of course it's perfectly possible that he did spend several years thinking he would one day find true love with a woman. Maybe he dated loads of women. Maybe he came close to finding a deep love with one or more of them. And if he did, I hope those were happy times for him (or at least meaningful times if happiness was elusive). I would never think of denying that if I saw evidence of it, or judging him for who he loves (or loved). I don't think there's any wrong or right here - whether it's heterosexual or bisexual or asexual or gay or queer or into kink or poly or whatever else he is or does. Who he fucks or who he loves or who he feels emotionally safe with - and for many of us humans those are not necessarily even the same people - that's his business.

His life, his body, his business.

I don't judge Jimin. I just admire and celebrate him for who he is.

And I wish him happiness.

I wish them both so, so much happiness.

That's the whole point of all of this, really.

That's why I watch Jimin and Jungkook together, Anon. Not because I want them to be together or because I think they should be, but because I see real happiness when they are together.

True happiness and true love are rare and beautiful things.

I think that's why most of us Jikookers are here, Anon. Because the joy we see and the delight we feel, just from witnessing these two beautiful people being happy, is real.

I'm not saying ALL of us are altruistic. Some Jikookers are full of shit. They covet one or both of them and they think supporting Jikook's relationship entitles them to make judgements or assumptions or claims about Jimin and JK. They get possessive, they objectify, they demand things. Some people who claim to support Jikook have spite and hatred in their hearts... yes, we have our share of nut jobs too.

But the majority of genuine Jikook supporters I encounter are simply here to celebrate the greatest love story we've ever seen. We're here to get behind two beautiful men who clearly love each other despite the odds against them. We're here to bask in the reflection of their glow and it's bloody wonderful.

But, I digress....

Let's go back to the making of the MV for WHO...

<and here I go again with the analysis>

Here Jimin describes the MV, just like when talking about the final scene. He says it's like a musical movie.

"Right now we're filming one of my favourite parts. It's like a musical movie." There's definitely a narrative here, it's the part where he joins 6 other male dancers, an obvious nod to BTS.

We already know there 's a narrative, but Jimin confirms it for us here.

So let's look again at the narrative:

Throughout this production we can see that the dance (not choreographed by Jimin) and the lyrics (not written by Jimin) have been created/chosen to show /tell us that Jimin (the performer) is searching among all these women for the love of his life.

THAT'S *PART* OF THE STORY THEY ARE TELLING.

But it leaves out a pretty big development ...

He was searching for love, looking at every woman just as he was supposed to, but someone (WHO?) crashed into his life and stopped him in his tracks. Yes, that someone fell directly into his path in a way that couldn't be ignored.

Jimin said

"I try to see WHO I'm meant to be with... is it you? Is it you?"

It doesn't sound like he was giving anyone much of a chance, does it? It sounds more like he was searching for someone in particular.

Maybe it was no accident. Maybe he was searching for WHO all along and he just didn't realise, until he found him.

Ok I am done talking (finally)

I'll finish responding to this ask so we can all go on with our lives.

To respond to your specific query, Anon:

Jimin doesn't say he's searching for a woman himself, does he? Not even in that quote you supplied.

He could have said "women walk past me" but he said "people walk past me".

He could have said he's trying to see which of these women he's meant to be with, but instead he said "who I'm meant to be with"

We can't ignore him saying WHO, Anon.

The song isn't called Which woman?

The song is called WHO

Anon, if you stuck with me all the way through this post, I commend you.

And yes, I was a bit facetious in the beginning, in my defence I had a shitty day at work. But I responded to you as the adult I imagine you to be, even though your language was a little on the childish side. I assume you were intending to piss me off but I enjoyed answering to your ask, so thank you regardless.

If you are still here I want to ask you a few genuine questions in return... I'd love to hear your honest answer.

Why, in the face of all the evidence, it's so difficult to accept that Jimin and Jungkook have a bond that goes beyond friendship or brotherhood?

They look like they're vey happy together, so why do you want them to not be together?

Why is it a problem for you if they love each other? Homophobia is learned behaviour. Who did you learn it from?

And probably my most burning question:

Have you ever experienced true, deep, lasting love?

[broodingheroine]

tmagp7 thoughts

WRESTLING WITH TAPE RECORDERS AND MANILA FOLDERS??? immediately with the references wtf

celia don't be curious abt the computers

CELIA STOP BEING WEIRD

she def knows who's in the computers

SHES LISTING THE FEARS WHAT THE FUCK

"you won't need to know about tma to enjoy tmagp" yeah okay what the fuck is this then

HILLTOP?

is derek chambers a name I should remember. check this later.

can't remember his name 👀

shouting human face? wtf

also lol bumbling new volunteer who has nothing on his resume but is punctual and hardworking. not martin coded at all.

another name they can't remember

lowkey giving the anatomy students episode of tma

BEARSKIN RUG??? SKIN????

the items are definitely cursed right

more forgotten names and lost paperwork 🤨

it's REALLY giving anatomy students

taxidermy. hm.

also kind of breekon and hope taking over breekon and hope vibes

so hoarding

GUNSHOTS????

fire..... hilltop....... hmmmm.........

security organization.......

THE VOICE THREW YOU

CELIAAAAA YOU KNOWWWW

THOUGHT YOU RECOGNIZED IT AAAAA

SHES TOTALLY FROM THE EYEPOCALYPSE

colin :)

JON???? FUCKING JON????????? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

the real stuff???? what the fuck colin

colin ur paranoia is showing

COLIN WHAT THE FUCK

go gwen! blackmail ur boss!

SHE SHOT HIM?

oh he's not dead? ohhhhhh

SHE GOT PAID TO KILL A GUY?

GWEN WHAT SOURCE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

bouchards old money confirmation?

REAL WORK?

EXTERNALS LIASON? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

NOW I HAVE TO WAIT A WEEK??????????

god okay so

is the oiar secretly the security team that burned the hilltop place down? that's obviously what the external liason will be right. but then what would the response department end up being?

colin is devolving extremely quickly and im deeply upset about it. no "outside" electronics. as opposed to...?

once again: EMAIL FROM JON???? what did it say. what was it about.

"you don't need to know anything about tma to listen to tmagp" yeah BULLSHIT like I'm sure you don't NEED it but it certainly HELPS

gwen going to lena is giving the archival crew confronting elias abt murdering leitner except gwen has dubious morals and is unapologetically in it for her own gain

which I do appreciate. a protagonist who's willing to admit she's in it for herself and nothing else? love.

I do question whether the oiar office work is done purely as a front for whatever lena is bringing gwen into or if it does actually serve a purpose.

like I said up there somewhere, celia is definitely a transplant from the tma verse. there's no way she's not.

okay I think I'm done? that was a lot..... like a lot a lot

so I think I'm gonna go lay down and die now

[lazycats-stuff]

I think I'd like to see jon kent being a great older brother to superbaby like he hears any sounds from the nursery indicating his brother might be awake he is SPRINTING to that nursery, first thing he does when he's back from school is greet his brother and tell him about his day, he wants to be the one that feeds/bathe him/and take him to the park, i imagin jon will be one of those siblings who have a breakdown when their baby sibling stands up on their on for the first time because they realize that baby is growing up!

Oh my God, he totally is that type! He would be happier than Clark and Lois combined. I'm kind of laughing at the situations.

When Lois got pregnant again, it was by pure accident. Clark and Lois didn't think about the second kid, but they didn't mind having a second kid around the house. The only worry they had was concerning their first son, Jonathan.

When they told Jonathan he cried. They were thinking that they were upset, but then he nearly flew through the roof from happiness. He hugged both of his parents tightly, although he was more careful with his mom.

During all those 9 months, Jon was the big help around the house. You are thirsty mom? You are getting a pitcher of water. Oh there is some dust that needs to be wiped? Done. You need ice cream from downstairs? You got it.

And once (Y/N) was born, Jon was too impatient to hold his baby brother. Clark had to remind him to be calm and gentle. Once they entered the room where Lois was resting, Jon nearly ran to her. Clark chided him a little bit, but it was cute.

Lois showed him his baby brother and Jon took his little brother in his arms. Clark showed him how to hold the baby, making sure that his head is supported. Jon watched in wonder and amazement, as (Y/N) moved his little arms slowly. His eyes opened for a moment before closing again.

Jon was officially in love. Clark and Lois could see it from a mile away. They smiled at their two sons and all of their worries were now gone.

Jon also turned out to be a third parent to (Y/N). He carried him a lot, played with him a lot in the living room and insisted to feed him and bathe him. Clark didn't know that Jon would be so attached to his son.

But it was nice to see it.

Right now, Jon was feeding his younger brother, pretending that the food was the airplane and (Y/N) was laughing like a mad man. He was squealing and kicking his legs. Clark was washing some dishes in the background.

You never know how many cute sounds a baby can make until it's fed. If you forget the crying. But none the less, they are adorable. Until they reach their teen years. Then it was going to be a very bumpy ride.

But for now, Clark is going to enjoy this era for as long as he can.

" Say awww (Y/N). " Jon cooed at his little brother, putting a spoon closer to his mouth. (Y/N) opened his mouth, taking the food into his mouth.

Clark turned around, watching as Jon wiped (Y/N)'s face from the excess food. Jon was praising the baby for eating all of it and tried to pick him up. Clark still helped him because Jon was still learning how to hold him.

10 months went by and Jon was officially a third parent. (Y/N) has started crawling a month ago and everyone was officially waiting for (Y/N) to start walking. Jon more so than his parents.

Jon was holding (Y/N) in his lap, talking to him about the his school day. Clark was sitting on the sofa next to the couch, reading the newspaper. (Y/N) started squirming in Jon's lap and he wanted to get off.

Jon put him down and he started to crawl. Then, all of a sudden he stopped and he tried to get up.

Jon watched in fascination. Clark put the newspapers away.

(Y/N) stood up on his little legs and slowly started walking towards Clark. He immediately got down on his knees and opened his arms.

" Come on, you got this! Come on bud. " Clark praised, cooing and smiling widely as (Y/N) was slowly walking towards him. Once (Y/N) got close, Clark picked him up, giving him kisses.

Jon cried as Clark scooped (Y/N) up. His baby brother is growing up so quickly...

" Come here Jon. Why are you crying? " Clark asked as he hugged Jon too.

" He is growing up too fast. " Jon sobbed out, hugging his father back.

Clark could barely contain his smile and laughter. He comforted Jon, telling him that it was a natural thing.

[loveothislife]

You’ll be in tears by the end of André Aciman’s 2007 novel Call Me By Your Name. Turning that last page feels like being rudely cast out of the love story between Elio and Oliver, two men who must be together, who have to be together, because, in the words of Faith Evans, “I never knew there was a love like this before.” But if you’re going to be heartbroken, at least let it be via Call Me By Your Name’s audiobook, read gorgeously by the upcoming film adaptation’s star, Armie Hammer, whose voice is the audio equivalent of ordering a Lyft Line and having it all to yourself.

In this new excerpt from the audiobook, out October 3, teenage Elio (played in the film by Timothée Chalamet) describes having sex for the very first time with Oliver (Hammer), the 24-year-old graduate student studying under his father for the summer. Elio’s had a crush on Oliver for weeks, and in this scene, we finally learn the significance of the book’s title. In this excerpt (and at all times), Hammer’s voice is brimming with such melody that, if you listen to it long enough, you can probably get drunk off it. Because you’ll need a way to explain to your friends why you have to cancel on your plans because you have a date with Armie Hammer’s voice, here are 20 descriptions of that supernatural sound:

1. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds a little like Jon Hamm’s voice, if Jon Hamm’s voice was dunked in honey.

2. Hearing Armie Hammer say “fuck” in the Call Me By Your Name audiobook makes it totally fine that he had to say “Let’s gut the friggin’ nerd” in The Social Network, because, you know what, some things are just worth the wait.

3. To hear Armie Hammer say “languorous” is to feel like Obama is still president, he’s just taking a vacation, but he and Michelle will be back in the White House soon.

4. Armie Hammer’s voice is the physical manifestation of those wooden decorative signs at Marshall’s or TJ Maxx that sell for $24.99 that say “Your Husband Called And Said It’s Ok To Buy Anything You Want.” Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like the fantasy of luxury.

5. Sometimes, when Armie Hammer is in the heat of a particularly vivid description, Armie Hammer’s voice sounds a little like the man who does the Men’s Wearhouse commercials. You know, the guy who says, “You’re going to like the way you look,” and now you kinda want to Google the nearest Men’s Wearhouse. You know, just in case.

6. I suspect that Armie Hammer’s voice would smell like linguini, seasoned with Tasmanian pepper and lemon with Parmesan cheese on top. I’d need to speak with Armie Hammer in person to confirm this. 7. You know when you’re a regular somewhere? And there’s a long line, but, say, the barista or the clerk or the tailor motions you around the long line because they’ve got your order ready? That’s what Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like.

8. Armie Hammer’s voice is so deep and viscous it sounds like when Beyoncé performs “Love on Top” live and she sings the chorus again and again and again and again, but that last time she sings “Baby it’s you,” she switches it up and goes to a lower key!

9. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like it’s soaked in maple syrup and — surprise! — you’re at Bubby’s, and there’s no line, and lucky for you, your James Beard pancakes with peaches have just arrived to your table.

10. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds as euphonious as Oprah’s voice, which is quite possibly the highest compliment you could ever pay another human.

11. The way Armie Hammer says “kiss” feels like you have literally been kissed, not by his lips, but by the sun itself. You took a picture of this sun-kissing, posted it to Instagram, and you’ve gotten a lot of likes.

12. The way Armie Hammer says, “Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine,” feels like a shared secret too tender for this savage and cacophonous place called the internet, but here we are.

13. Armie Hammer’s voice feels like when you’ve decided to take a nap, but to hell with setting an alarm! You’ll wake up when you wake up, and everyone texting you will have to deal with it!

14. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like when the violins come in on Nelly’s “Grillz,” which is to say that it sounds like the ideal combination of highbrow and lowbrow.

15. Armie Hammer’s voice sounds like the opposite of that swish-swish a nylon sweatsuit made in the ’80s, because Armie Hammer has never worn nylon, he exclusively wears corduroy or linen.

16. The timbre of Armie Hammer’s voice is identical to the timbre of the bells ringing on the last day of school, when you could dump the entire contents of your backpack into the dumpster right in front of the teacher who wouldn’t round your 89 percent up to an A-.

17. Armie Hammer sounds so sumptuous and moneyed, you might think you’ve paid off all of your student loans.

18. Armie Hammer’s voice inexplicably sounds like he’s both speaking to you and listening to you and deeply interested in every fleeting thought that pops into your head, even the ones about Mother!

19. Hearing Armie Hammer’s voice is like going to the salon and getting a really good shampoo, where they use a little bit of tea tree oil and massage your temples and then say it’s on the house.

20. There’s such melody in Armie Hammer’s voice that the devil has to work overtime to get a new Nickelback song in the world, just so everything stays in balance.

Vulture (September 21, 2017)

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

I got my wisdom teeth out today. When I got home from my surgery this morning, I was still a bit loopy, and while my boyfriend was unlocking the door, I heard the neighbor’s dog barking, so I went up to their open window and started telling the dog about how i got my wisdom teeth out. I tell you this because I was just thinking I totally feel like Damian would do something like that 😂

I feel like Dami with that post wisdom teeth surgery high would be so funny, ESPECIALLY if he got the surgery as an adult like I did, so it was the boyfriend (Jon, of course) taking care of him instead of Bruce or Alfred. The shenanigans would be 😂😂

oh, you KNOW that the brothers are SO READY for post-wisdom teeth Damian. They're ready to record every second.

That's why Bruce put Damian under Jon's care, to save him a little dignity. So while he distracts them, Jon is the designated driver etc.

Meanwhile Damian higher than a kite is just crying in the passenger seat about how much he loves Jon and would kill for him and how Jason said they'd never work out but they ARE and they DID and Damian can't wait to marry Jon one day, and then starts crying harder because he imagined how handsome Jon will look on their wedding day.

They get back home and Damian just goes and lays in the grass with their dog and Jon lets their cat out of the house to join them. Jon just stands there drinking something and waving awkwardly at neighbors as Damian just lays in the grass with the animals, and calling to birds to be his friend.

(I hope you're recovering well! I still have my wisdom teeth and I'm dreading the day the dentists finally say I have to get them out 😭)

[saintmagx]

✨ Cruel Summer ✨

pairing: Solo Sikoa x reader, Jey Uso x reader (briefly)

AN: Literally making this for myself, so if I do ever end up publishing - enjoy I guess? 🤪

w/c: 1198

⚠️ Warnings: 18+ , swearing, violence (this is the WWE after all) slight smut, infidelity(if you squint), jealous Jey, toxic behaviour, bad/embarrassing writing ⚠️

doesn’t follow a specific timeline however it is more recent, total divas making a return.

✨ I love you ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard - he looks up grinning like the devil ✨

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“I dunno Trin, the thought of being recorded for 12 hours of the day, like, I enjoy my privacy”.

“Think about it as an opportunity, having the fans see a different side of you. Showing them how hard you work your ass off.”

Trinity is my best friend, she helped me out so much when I joined the WWE 6 years ago. She and her husband Jon took me into their family and helped me adapt into the crazy world of being a WWE superstar.

“Just think about it is all I’m saying. It’ll be fun” trin says nudging me.

Ever since I moved here, we have had a weekly tradition of Wednesday Girls Night, its just snacks, Chinese takeout, and movies, it’s just time for us to catch up and wind down from the gruelling travel schedule.

Right on queue at exactly 11:30pm Jon walks in the door.

“Times up ladies” he says, which is swiftly followed by two pillows being thrown at his head.

“Come on uce, you know better than to interrupt gIrLs NiGhT”

The couch beside me dipped and once again I felt the heat from the body of Josh Fatu, my one weakness. His hand falls to his side and creeps closer to me caressing the side of my bare thigh. You see what people don’t know is Josh and I have an ‘agreement’ - no feelings, just sex and friendship, and it was going great until it wasn’t, feeling were caught, specifically by me and I’m stuck between a rock and hard place as I’m falling hard for him, but I cant let this agreement end because I would rather have him this way than not have him at all.

“Spoke with Joe today, Hunter is bringing him up to the main roster, can’t wait to have my other younger brother fighting by my side”. A third pillow is thrown at Jon from the direction of Josh.

“We are twins, and you are only older by 8 minutes”.

Never a dull moment where the Fatu boys are concerned.

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First day of filming (TD Interview Segment)

Okay, so lets start with a basic intro okay? Ready, go!

The room falls silent the light shines bright on me, I have at least 6 pair of eyes on me, goading me into starting. Gosh why did I sign up to do this!!!

Hi there, my names yn, I am currently on the Smackdown roster and I am the current WWE Women’s Champion.

I’ve been with the WWE for 6 years now and I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for my adoptive sister Trinity, she took me under her wing and I’ve been there ever since. As you guys know – and if you didn't know, the accent should be a huge giveaway, I’m originally from the United Kingdom, I came to the states with a dream in hand and no one there to help me through this bumpy ride. I can never repay her or Jon for the way they have accepted and welcomed me into their little dynamic. Although, travelling the world with Jon and Josh is hard work, they boys are chaotic, I don't know how Trin managed to do it herself for so long!

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Friday Night Smackdown, Atlanta Georgia, 8 weeks before Survivor Series

Walking into the arena for Smackdown I get a message from Hunter asking to meet him in his office. A mixture of anxiety and curiosity fill in the pit of my stomach. In his office I’m met with the familiar faces of Jon, Josh, and Joseph, smiling I look over to Hunter who invites me to sit.

“I got your message, what’s up?

“We have been toying with the idea of a cross brand rivalry - for Survivor Series. Now that Joe has come up to the main roster, we think the Usos and Solo v The Judgement Day would pique interest from the WWE universe.”

“So why am I here?”

“Demi is the Women’s World Champion and part of Judgment Day; it would only seem right that she faces the Women’s Champion”.

Without hesitation I accept. Hunter debriefs us on how it’s going to play out over the next few weeks. We will have to be on both RAW and Smackdown over the next few weeks, so looks like it will be me and the brothers travelling together since Trin is exclusive to Smackdown!

Gorilla, few hours later (TD segment)

Tonight, I have a singles match, however Demi has to interfere and cost me the match – thus starting our road to Survivor Series.

I see Hunter in his usual place over at the screens with his headset on talking to Randy Orton, Randy spots me and immediately comes over to me.

“There’s my favourite girl.”

“I wouldn’t let your wife hear you say that Randy”.

Randy Orton, he is exactly how you would imagine him to be, a cocky little shit, flirtatious as hell, a menace but he has a heart of gold. Many nights we would hit the gym together and training with him before his injury really improved my in-ring ability. He is another one I would call my family away from family.

A familiar scent fills my nostrils, Josh. He stands next to me wrapping his arm around me pulling me closer, as if to stake his claim in me.

“I’ve been looking for you, come on let’s go”.

I smile apologetically at Randy, he just waves me off laughing, as much as I say people don’t know anything about me and Josh, it’s not to say there isn’t rumours flying around, people have their own take on it, and that’s okay, we just laugh it off.

Trin and Jon (TD Interview segment)

“You see yn and josh think they are so slick hiding their little late-night rendezvous” says Jon

Trin sighing, “I just wish they would bang their heads together and realise they are meant to be. Think of the double dates we could finally have Jon.”

Jon’s laugh fills the small interview room, “yeah it would be sweet, and yn is already like family, it would be an easy transition.”

Away from the cameras

“What were you talking to Randy about?” Josh quizzes

“Nothing, you came in and ushered me away before I could say anything.”

“Good, I don’t like it when you get attention from other guys, just me, okay?”

“I think you’ll find Josh that I can speak to who I like”. I say frustrated with his behaviour.

You see as much as I love Josh, this, this right here the way he wants to have his cake and eat it too drives me insane. I so much as look at another guy and he is right there to remind me I’m his, yet he can look at and speak to as many girls and I can’t say shit.

“I’ve got a match to get to, I’ll see you later J.”

“Goodluck out there baby girl, not that you need it.” Before he can come any closer to me, I slip out the room and let my frustrated sigh out. How much longer am I going to keep torturing myself.  

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[my-brain-soup]

I've Never Seen Luka, But Jon Kent Has

Basically I've never watched Luka but I read a fanfic where Jon gets the teen titans to watch it (parallels are drawn between Luca and Alberto and Jon and Damian) so now I will be watching it and writing the thoughts I have during it

No I will not give context and spoiler warning ig

Love the music during the studio logos

We love a superstitious king, I mean, I have a feeling he has a point

IF THEY HIT HIM IMMA BE SO PISSED

Awww, he's such a polite little guy

Luca is a farm boy!!! I love my little Jon Kent varient :)

I, too, would risk my life for shiny object

I, too, do the murder

OMG THEIR SO JON AND DAMIAN BUT LIKE BEING HUMAN IS BEING A VIGILANTE AND ITS THE SAME AS THEIR START BASICALLY I LOVE THEM

HE EVEN HAS THE SUPERMAN CURL

Dami would say he invented walking

And pretend he's not proud of Jon

THEYRE SO CUTESY

Bruno? Or Bruce...o... you get the idea

Sorry, they have Luca grab Alberto like that and expect me not to see them as the most adorable little guy love story? Their so crushing on each other

"You're so lucky your dad lets you do what you want," cue Superman's comment about Bruce getting hit on the head all the time

NO WAY THEIR SENDING HIM TO (basically) BOARDING SCHOOL TO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE "bad influence" THAT IS ALBERTO

Yes! Grandma, my queen!

"We can do anything" I love this movie

MY FRIEND SMELLS AMAZING

God I don't know her name yet but I love her

JULIA OR HOWEVER YOU SAY IT

We're not telling you our secrets! Tells secrets immediately.

FROM EVERYTHING YOU LOVE?????

I love Alberto so muchhhhhh

I love Mr dad human

Oh they know SOO many fish

No way everyone, including an adult, just saw that bitch rob some kids and didn't do shit

He is a sad little catfish

Why are his parents actually crazy

Aww, Alberto doesn't want to lose his friend

Noooooooo

Luca just wants to learn, and Alberto just wants to feel loved :(

How is the gayest looking dude there being homophobic?

When your new father figue wants to kill your entire species

Alberto got mad when Julia touched Luca's hand...

Why does Luca's hair looks like a croissant

NO LUCA WTF

I WAS ALMOST ON YOUR SIDE

GOD WHAT THE HELL

YES, MR DAD HUMAN, I LOVE YOU PLEASE DONT KILL YOUR NEW SON

FUCK.

IM NOT CRYING.

Nooooo

Their fort :(

BESTIE NO

NO ALBERTO MY BABY NO

STOP PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY SO YOU DONT GET HURT. IT'S NOT GONNA WORK

God the organizer adult lady us such a bitch

Why is no one concerned that the scuba kid isn't coming up for air?

Aww, his little clap self tap in

It's totally about to rain

Well shit. Sometimes I hate when I'm right

WAIT WAS THAT ALBERTO

I TAKE IT BACK I LOVE WHEN IM RIGHT

FUCK

NO I TAKE IT BACK AGAIN

I love them so much!!!!

MR DAD HUMAN NO

MR DAD HUMAN YES

YAYYYY

KING

Is the mom the same person that voiced Aunt Cass in big hero 6?

YES LOVE ME THE OLD LADIES

I decided it is a metaphor for older lgbtq people, feeling able to come out after younger generations have proved that times have changed, I love them

(They're sisters, so they're not together, but they can still be gay!)

BRO ITS SO ABOUT BEING GAY I LOVE THIS MOVIE

BRO ALBERTO

THOSE LITTLE LOOKS

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE

JULIA 100% KNOWS

About his crush, not just Luca going to school

AHHHH HES SO SWEET

YES, MR DAD HUMAN, YOU NEED EACH OTHER

Their in love, your honor

THEIR LITTLE HAND HOLDING THING I CANT

IM SO MENTALLY ILL FOR GAY FISH

IM CRYING AGAIN

AHHH, THEY RIGHT EACH OTHER LETTERS

ALBERTO LOOKS SO SMITTEN WHEN THEY'RE ON THE PHONE

ALBERTO GETS HIS KNIFE

DOES HE BECOME A LIFEGAURD???

I love this movie

So much

DAMIAN ALSO HAS A CAT AND JON ALSO HAS A DOG

Also, here is my formal apology, her name is spelled Giulia, my b

Alberto learns to carve wood, awww

Also, does Luca EVER get shoes?

I've decided I need an Alberto to become a tattoo artist future au, at least like on the side or for fun or sm

The dedication is adorable

Yes, I just watched all of the credits. What about it?

I was rewarded with an after credits scene, so fuck you.

I'm gonna watch all the deleted scenes now, I'm not gonna specify which one so have fun guessing

Haha, they called Alberto and Luca the main relationship

BOO STOP TRYING TO GIVE LUCA A CRUSH ON GIULIA

YES ALBERTO CHEER ON THE KRAKEN AGAINST THE HUNTER

YES! CONFORMED LUCA A GIULIA ONLY PLATONIC

Also, she was almost a photographer, like TIM DRAKE?!?!?

Don't worry, Luca, I'll ride in a barrel lit on fire down a hill with you

Awww, they were raised by a lobsterrr

BRING BACK CANNED SEA MONSTER FACTORY

OH SEA MONSTER CAN PASS BUT IF THEIR FOUND OUT THE CONSEQUENCES MIGHT BE REALKY DIRE??? SOUNDS KINDA GAY TO ME.

Oh, Jon is extremely charming

I love how they used different animation styles (in how they had the characters move) on land and in the water

PH THE TRANSFORMATION ISN'T CELEBRATED IN LUCAS FAMILY AND HE MAKES IT A CONSIOUS DEASITION TO CHANGE HIS THINKING FROM I SHOULDNT DO THIS TO I SHOULD EMBRASE THIS? SOUNDS KINDA GAY TO ME

Bro, not the first version where Alberto outs Luca to Giulia, eek

And finally, Ciao Alberto!

Aww, Luca wants to see to Portorosso!

THE GAY OLD LADY SISTERS ARE DEFINITELY CLOSE WITH ALBERTO, AND I LOVE IT FOR ALL OF THEM

He finally has people who care about him!!!

AWW ALBERTO JUST WANTS MR DAD HUMAN TO BE PROUD OF HIM

Alberto, you do NOT got this

DONT LIGHT THE BOAT ON FIRE

OH SHIT

Noooo!!! Don't leave!!!

YOU'RE NOT HIS EMPLOYEE, YOU'RE HIS SON

HE CALLED HIM DAD!!!

YAY HUGS

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

MY HEART

I CANT

I love Alberto being an artist (a bad one, for now, but still and artist)

Okay, that's it, Ciao :)

[wanderingblindly]

hello bestie, i love "i thought i was about to die. i figured i should tell you the truth before that happened" and "well ... that happened" from the love confession prompts!! maybe those spark some ideas <3

GUESS WHO FINALLY FINISHED A PROMPT!!! ME!!!! FEEL FREE TO ASK ME MORE DIALOGUE PROMPTS THAT I WILL TOTALLY FILL AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE.

You Did What Over Winter Break?! (Lando Norris/Oscar Piastri, 900 words, drabble)

Jon storms into the hospital room like a man possessed, eyes wide and hair on end. He stops at the foot of Lando’s bed, eyes flickering between his face – oddly relaxed –, his reset and casted leg, and his hands. More aptly, his and Oscar’s hands, fingers intertwined and resting on the thin hospital sheets. 

Oscar flashes him a closed lipped smile from his place beside Lando’s bed; Lando doesn’t even look at him, blown pupils trained on Oscar’s profile. 

“I –” He says, somehow at a loss for what to ask first. “What the fuck?”

“Broken ankle –” Oscar responds, cut off by Lando before he can elaborate further. 

“I almost died, actually…” He starts, the words over dramatic and loud. 

Lando smiled as Oscar hesitantly climbed onto the back of his ATV, sitting as far back in the seat as possible. He could practically feel the nerves radiating off of him, back stiff and shoulders up by his ears. 

“Too much for you?” He teased, passing a helmet back before securing his own. Oscar rolled his eyes and followed suit. 

“Track looks fine,” Oscar said, peering around Lando to peak at the dirt trail ahead of them – moderate jumps at best, he’d seen better back home. “You driving? Different story, mate.”

“I resent that.” Lando scoffed, turning back to the front and testing his grip on the clutch. “Hold on tight, I don’t bite.” He felt Oscar shift his weight forward slightly, sliding down the seat until they slotted together; Oscar felt big against his back, the few centimeters difference between them somehow so apparent as he pressed his chest against his shoulder blades – wrapped his arms around his waist.  

Had they ever really, full blown hugged before? 

“Gonna wait all day?” 

“Shut it,” Lando smiled beneath his helmet, face hot at Oscar’s voice so close to his ear, and tore towards the first jump. 

“You crashed your ATV?” Jon interrupts, stress pitching his voice higher than Oscar had ever heard it. “We’ve talked about you riding those, mate, I just –”

“We didn’t crash, first of all…”

“Is it meant to storm like this in the winter?” Lando asked, the two of them hiding under a scraggly tree alongside the track. The packed dirt quickly turned to mud as the heavens opened above them, making even the more sloping corners too slick to take safely. 

“Well it’s summer down here, so.” Oscar bumped their shoulders together, just a bit mocking.

“Fucking Aussies,” He grumbled, crossing his arms and looking distinctly away from Oscar and his shiteating grin. It would be endearing, and he knew it would make him blush, so he cut his losses and looked up at the rain. 

The clouds looked infinitely darker, growing heavy and angry before his eyes, when he heard it: a roll of thunder nearby, so close that it reverberated in his teeth. 

“Jesus Chri–” Oscar jumped, cut off when lighting struck down immediately after, splitting the tree behind them. Lando moved fast, pushing Oscar away as the tree gave way, falling directly onto –

“You got hit by a tree?” Jon sounds moments from a panic attack, eyes flashing between the boys with renewed fervor.

Lando didn’t get out of the way in time, lower leg pinned to the ground by a massive branch. He couldn’t get enough traction on the mud to pull himself away even if he wanted to, the rain continuing to pool around him. Something may have snapped, it may have been another roll of thunder, but Lando could feel it shooting up his leg like wildfire.

“Oscar?!” He called out, voice panicked and clearly fueled by pure adrenaline. 

“I’m right here,” Oscar popped into his field of vision, soaked hair falling over his eyes as he leaned over Lando’s field of vision. With delicate, shaking hands, he held Lando’s head still – keeping him focused on his face. “I’m gonna go get help, ok? Just don’t — don’t move.”

“Wait! Wait,” Lando blurts out, rushed and urgent. Oscar stills, hands still in Lando’s muddied hair and eyes still trained on him. “If I don’t make it, I just. I love you, yeah?” 

“What?” Jon’s looking directly at Oscar now, then back down to their intertwined hands. 

“I was dying, Jon, I couldn’t just not –”

“You weren’t dying,” Oscar cuts him off with a stern look, the hint of a smile fighting to come out. Apparently ready to put Jon out of his misery, Oscar clears his throat. “We were playing paintball, actually, and Lando tried to jump off one of the obstacles –”

“I did jump, not ‘tried’.”

“Sure. Lando did jump off an obstacle and slipped. Broke his ankle, got two…?” He looks over at Lando, who nods in agreement. “Yeah, two pins.”

“And the…?” Jon asks, motioning ambiguously towards their hands. 

“Yeah no, he actually did that. Crying and everything.”

“I wasn’t crying,” Lando defends with a pout, Oscar can’t help but laugh at him, throwing his head back. 

“Sorry, you were ‘just so in love’,” Oscar quotes, tightening his grip on Lando’s hand and brushing his hair back with the other. Jon stares, wide eyed, aware that he’s becoming an intrusion to a moment that feels significantly too private to be happening in a hospital. 

“Right then, I’ll just… doctor. Yeah, talk to the doctor.” He stutters out, drawing the attention of neither Oscar nor Lando in the process. Lando’s whispering something in Oscar’s ear by the time he rushes out of the room, the other blushing deeply and choking back a laugh. 

[joesanrio]

They’re here | R.R

Summary: Ever since Nova had the baby, they’ve only gotten a hand full of visits. But now the whole family gets to see the golden baby.

Pairings: Joe Anoa’i {Roman Reigns} x Nova (OC) || Established relationship

Warnings: Uses real names, Baby cries, BabyDaddy!Joe, and that’s all bcs it’s just a big pound of Fluff.

Word count: 1047

Ratings: Fluff | 16+

A/N: I’ve been writing so much new stuff that I keep forgetting abt the two drafts, they'll come out eventually.

Part one: Want to see her? | Fluff

@bakugoumarianawrites (sorry for the wait)

———————————————————

“What did you do to my baby?” I gasp when Joe walks in holding the baby with a small mohawk, “She thinks it’s nice, don’t you Lala! See.” He coos at her making her squeal. All I did was ask him to bathe her, not be a hairstylist. “Mommy!” She reaches out when Joe passes her to me as he goes back to the bathroom to get her lotion.

“You don’t have to lie baby… we both know you had no choice.” I whisper to her before smoothing her curly hair down as she leans her face onto my chest and continues to let out a random babble.

He comes back with her lotion, and I finish getting her dressed for the day. “We are matching, you look cuter though.” I smile as I admire her in her cute outfit that’s the same color scheme as mine.

We were going to a cookout with family and a couple of close friends at Jon and Trinity’s house, “Oh look at my princess!” Joe exclaims as he picks Nalani up from the bed. “Lala!” She points to herself as he nods amused at her little voice.

I leave the room to pack her bag with all her necessities and about three toys. “She has her stuff animal, right?” I shout from the other room down the hall, “No, It’s in the living room.” I heard him reply.

“Alright, everything is ready.” I say as I toss her bag onto my other shoulder and Joe comes down the hall holding the baby. When passing the living room, I stop to grab her plush hello kitty off the couch.

“Don’t be sassy with me Nalani, you know my joke was funny.” Joe chuckles as she looks unamused at her father. She squeals loudly when she sees me with the toy, I hand it to her, and she immediately hugs it while Joe sets the alarm.

[Jon and Trin’s House 3:45pm]

“Is that Lala!” Trinity exclaims when she opens the door revealing the music and chatter of family, before she scoots to the side so we can enter. “It’s been forever since we seen her!” Jon said coming around the corner fixing his hat, before giving us a hug. “Jayla has been asking when y’all would be here, all damn day.” Jon joked, making us laugh.

We all headed to the living room where some older members of the family were at. “Oh, I remember when you were a baby, now you have one of your own!” Joe’s great Aunt smiled as we greeted her, “She’s beautiful. Looks just like Nova.” She winked at me before sitting back down on the couch.

 “Isn’t she so big now!” Trinity said as Joe placed the car seat on the corner of the couch, “Bae! Look at her dimples.” Trin said pointing at Nalani’s cheek. “She is only 7 months old. Tell them you’re still small!” I coo at my baby as she immediately smiles, unbuckling her from the car seat.

Joe and Jon already having their own conversation as I pick her up, “Girl! Your body definitely snapped back huh?” Trinity had me spin for her. “You think so?” I smile as I follow her to the outside patio, “Girl yes, your waist is like whoop while you booty is like boom!” She creates sound effects with her mouth causing me to giggle at her silliness.

After greeting everyone, I was finally able to sit down. “Auntie Nova! I can watch Lala for you?” Jayla requests as she clasps her hands together, “I don’t want you babysitting! You should go have fun.” I smile, but Jayla pouts. “Please! Look- she totally wants to go with me.” She begs as Nalani almost falls out of my arms trying to get to Jayla, “Okay, but whenever you get tired bring her back to me.” I say as we pinkie promise, and I pass her the baby. “We are going to have so much fun!” Jayla smiles before heading back in the house.

“Here…”  Joe says coming up from behind me before sitting down in the empty chair on the side of me, he hands me my favorite drink. “You look gorgeous.” He whispers in my ear with a small smile making my heart flutter, “Thank you.” I kiss his cheek before he goes off engaging in a conversation with the rest of his cousins.

“Where’s the baby?” Trinity asks coming back from the kitchen with a glass of champagne, “With Jayla.” My head tilting towards the house. “Tamina and Mercedes drove together, so they should be here soon.” Trinity mentioned as she looked at the time on her phone. The rest of the girls nodding as we began to talk about random stuff, and how much we missed each other.

--- 8:13pm

“Mommy!” Nalani cried as I tried to calm her down, she was never a big fan of loud noise when she was trying to sleep, but neither was I. “Oh my baby, I know.” I coo at her as she cries along my chest while I bounce her in my arms gently, “What’s wrong?” Joe enters the room concerned as it’s been a while since we first entered.

His eyes quickly fell onto the baby, “Why she crying?” he asked as he grabbed her from my arms delicately. “She’s sleepy but it’s too loud.” I say while looking in her bag for her pacifier, though she seems to be calming down now that she’s in Joe’s arms.

He pats her back gently as he goes to sit down on the bed himself, “See, you’re okay.” He whispers to the now sniffling baby. “Oh, so not fair.” I whisper as I playfully glare at Joe, in return he sticks his tongue out at me before grabbing the pacifier I handed out to him. “Don’t be a hater because she’s a daddy’s girl.” He places the pacifier in her mouth, “Whatever.” I giggle before sitting beside them.

Not even 5 minutes later, she was knocked out on Joe’s chest before he laid her down in the make-shift pillow barrier I created so she doesn’t roll off the bed. “She’s just like you.” Joe whispered as he looked at Nalani with small hearts in his eyes.

Nalani’s Nickname: Lala

[dontbelasagne]

to invoke a fear...

I'm very late posting this but in honour of TMA rising out of the flames and each haunting episode of The Magnus Protocol we have recieved, I have come up with incantations/invocations similar to Jon's "Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon..." chant for the other entities we see throughout The Magnus Archives. its mostly for fun, but I tried to capture the personality of each fear to mirror how an avatar would express such morbid annunciation :)

ripen this flesh with gruelling guts that devour and mark with eloquent cuts. take what is sacred and make it equal, for all meat is drowned in its own bloodied treacle. hack away at your sense of mortality, your body is pungent with fatty vitality, digest that last ounce of copius sanity and become one with The Flesh in all its totality.

- The Flesh

call to arms and construct your sick barricade, made of chanting screams and an unending human palisade. the piper demands you line up for ransom, let your mind be frenzied to fuel your brutal anthem. extricate your tools and be ready for The Slaughter, there is no set time for bodies in the water.

- The Slaughter

you need not run, for the darkness is patient. in the corner of your eye Mr Pitch remains latent. encroaching in the night, outstaying its welcome. each blink a reminder that safety is seldom. its blanketed grip won't let you be free of what the shifting shadows can always carry. it hides in the places you cannot see, for in The Dark you cannot flee.

- The Dark

will you remain the hunted prey, that sweats and stinks the path in hungering array. you cannot satisfy the everchase, it will feast and feast on your endangered place. so run, little wanderer, wary of your being, only ever good for heart-thumping fleeing. let your breaths arrive in laboured panting, for The Hunt will always sense if you'll be left standing.

- The Hunt

fold into yourself and cripple that heart, for you are alone and alone you'll depart. waste away at your own lack of humanity, the fog will uncover all your human fallacy. fade away like frivolous smoke, don your pretence of an obscuring cloak. and relinquish connection for The Lonely doesn't cling, only your sick solitude it will bring.

- The Lonely

pick apart those sudden thoughts, no way to know how it contorts. winding, finding your way through, I'm sure there is some clue. leave what that mind says, for look again it is Not What it is. twisting, visiting a place of no mind, you'll be sure to know the doorways to find. it's easy to let go, come down The Spiral, and be sure to refute that pesky denial.

- The Spiral

are you sure that is you? with a face so adjusted that it begs the question if it is at all naturally constructed. peer through those absent waxed eyes, The Doll Maker will offer a suprise to your first taste at a porcelain smile, it'll be so worthwhile. do not fret at becoming The Stranger, you'll only pose as senseless danger.

- The Stranger

take this breath and fill it with clay, for you will never again see the day. a grave is waiting, alloted in the ground, to crush your bones, so brittle it won't be found. the weight of others all around, so close that you choke, yet make no sound. lay down and succumb to The Buried, for that body will constrict and be stubbornly wearied.

- The Buried

slough off that mottled skin with putrid holes that leak out things that crawl and creep and scuttle and speak of misery to be worshipped until you hatch that crawling rot. let it recede and uncover the disease, to rejoice in The Corruption out of your filthy predeliction.

- The Corruption

The Mother of Puppets will care for you my dear, don't worry for there is nothing to fear. let go of that innocent worldly desire, do not look to those who only conspire. you won't be safe outside of this cocoon, on the peripheries those spiders loom. come hither and rest on The Web, as the strands of your life fall and eb.

- The Web

ignite the blackened flame that consumes the heart, as each beat you increasingly depart from all that you love as it burns to crisp with every connection becoming a smoky wisp. the poisonous wax only drips further, as you become your own selfish burner. let this light guide you to The Desolation, choking on the smoke of your lost machination.

- The Desolation

there is no need to beg this is simply Terminus, not everything will be alive and feverously continuous. it is lavish to think of equal permanence, so resign to your fate and the universes ordinance. death awaits with weary bones to share the fatigue of a weighted throne, and rejoice with souls who call and lament that this is The End, it is your final descent.

- The End

look at you, in this magnitude of inproportionate calamity that sizes you down to microbial plurality. let yourself be enveloped by the dizzying expanse, we are all pale dots in the universes glance. enjoy sky blue and witness The Vast, can you bare the weight on your bones made of glass?

- The Vast

bring upon the silent decay, delivering life with forbidden foray. eeking out products and sustenance that glitch, don't forget this will only enrich. who's to say what is unnatural? it'll all slog into the ground both new and perpetual. plant those seeds of The Extinction, and sow your last destructive conviction.

- The Extinction

[lostonehero]

I'm late to mermay, but well, uh, no excuses have Siren! Martin doing such a great job in the archives.

Tim loved going to the ocean. He loved the water in general, and when Danny was still with him, he would try and fail to convince him to try to go with him during the winter. Danny always quoted old legends, but Tim didn't believe in them. Well, he does now, but that's besides the point.

The reason Tim believes is the 6ft5inch man in his apartment who is technically his husband or mate in his words. Of course, this happened years ago he's now a much more jaded man. He works for the insistute now trying to get answers for his brother, and somehow, his husband works there too. He really doesn't understand how he lied about everything on his CV.

"Tim?" A male voice pulls Tim out of his thoughts. "Should I wear this one or this one? We work together now in the archives, and you don't want me to match you."

"The blue one is fine, Martin." Tim smiles softly. Martin wasn't human, and he's honestly surprised nobody has figured it out. He's also grateful for the face that he's his husband, even if he keeps it secret.

"Are you sure? You want our mate bond to be kept secret. I don't know if they can smell it.... I should wear one from the dryer." Martin sighs.

Tim chuckles. "Just because I wore that to bed doesn't mean you can't wear it. We humans don't have the same abilities as you guys."

"Yeah, but I don't know if everyone there is human." Martin huffs.

They have this argument about once a week, which is fine. It's better than the raw meat debate. Tim smiles softly. "Alright, alright, won't wear your jumpers anymore."

Martin huffs. "I didn't say that! You always do this."

Tim chuckles. "Maybe I like seeing you riled up. Seriously though, it's fine as long as we don't arrive at the same time." They've been together years at this point, so they both know when they are joking.

"I know the drill, Tim." Martin sighs. "Can we share the same bed tonight?"

"I'm not sleeping in the tub with you again it took weeks for my skin to heal, and before you suggest it no I'm not going in the ocean either we were both incredibly late to work." Tim raised his brow and pauses. "Oh wait, you meant my bed."

Martin rolls his eyes. "Forget I asked."

"No, wait, yes." Tim moves closer to Martin. "Then I don't have to wear things that smell like you."

Martin smiles. "You're already my mate. You do not need to scent yourself of me."

"What if I want to?"

"I suppose that can be arranged."

......

Sasha rolled her chair closer to Tim. "So Jon totally has a crush on Martin. I was talking to his ex, and she totally agrees. How about a wager? I mean, Martin is totally into him. Have you seen how aggressive he is about taking care of Jon?"

Tim chokes on his tea. "W-what?" He wipes off the mess the best he could. "Sasha, he's that way to everyone."

"Not you, and nowhere near that way to me or anyone else in this building. Besides, the timing is perfect. We have that mandatory institute day out on the beach. Sure, we're picking up trash and sending flyers out about the institute, but there's also games and food. We can totally set them up." Sasha claps her hands together with a smile on her lips.

"No." Tim could feel that green eyed monster rear its ugly head. Danny always made fun of him because he insisted he felt nothing of their marriage. Danny was right, of course. He was about to out them, and he had to think of something. "No, I mean well, what are the stakes? Is Jon's ex going to be there?"

"Oooo, that could be even better." Sasha smirks. "She can help us, and she is bringing her girlfriend. Tim you're a genius."

Tim gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

......

Sasha pushed Martin and Jon together. "You two can start at one end, and Tim and I will start at the other. Then we'll meet up and get some American fair food they have."

Jon raised a brow. He was in a binder with a loose tank top above it and a pair of shorts. He was also in boots and long socks. "Ok? I don't understand why Elias has this to be mandatory."

Martin looked like he was about to growl and hiss. They were so close to the ocean that the instincts to take his mate to the ocean screamed at him. "Yeah, it's an odd choice."

Tim grits his teeth as Sasha pulls him away. He was still mostly human, well it was slowly changing but he was still mostly human but even he could feel the pull of the ocean he can't imagine how Martin feels.

......

Jon rubs his brow as he looks over to Martin, who is carrying about six full bags of trash without breaking a sweat. It was impressive and kind of depressing that there's that much trash. "Martin, we can stop and drop those off, we have a ways to go."

"Why?" Martin tilted his head in a way that Jon thought was adorable.

"Isn't it heavy?" Jon sighs he only had two half full bags since Martin keeps taking the full ones away from him.

"No, not really. Are you alright? Do you need more sunscreen? We are nearly done with our side." Martin puts the bags down and takes out a bottle of sunblock.

"I'm dark skinned Martin I don't need that much." Jon, let's out a noise of surprise since Martin already started to put on a fresh layer.

"Dark skin still burns." Martin is quick but thurough. "It's better to be safe."

Jon blushes a deep red. "I uh right, of course. Let us continue. We're almost done."

.....

Sasha and Tim waved from the start of the stands. "Took you guys long enough!" Sasha laughs.

Jon frowns. "Martin insisted I drink some water and put on another layer of sunscreen. However, we did collect the most trash."

Martin nods. "Yes! We found a big pile someone buried under the sand. Also your health is important."

Tim looked between them, and something clicked. The green eyed beast was dead, and Martin was treating Jon like a pod member who couldn't care for themselves. He did this before with Danny when he was really into extreme sports. He felt the tension drain from his shoulders. "How about some weird American food? Heard double boss man got some cool stuff like pickled lemonade, and fried oreos."

"Good lord, that sounds like a heart attack." Jon scoffs.

"I would like to try that. Sounds like a perfect hangover cure." Sasha chuckles.

.......

Martin somehow ended up on a cliffside. He loved watching the waves from this high up, Tim was behind him talking to Jon's ex, um Georgie was her name. It was very nice and he really wanted to jump.

"Pretty view." A old man was next to him. His white hair was wind swept back. "You can get lost in just how vast it is."

Martin nodded, not realizing he was moving forward until he was tumbling over the edge. Well, he wanted to do this anyway.

Tim did a double take before he started to run. "MARTIN!" He went over the edge as well, and he could swear he heard an old man laughing.

Georgie and Sasha ran to the edge. They saw Tim hanging on grabbing Martin on a ledge.

"Holy shit are you two ok?" Sasha stared down at them wide-eyed.

Tim huffs. "I know you're making that face. I'm not dropping you." He did not hear Sasha, but she can hear the two men.

"But Tim, the ocean! Pleaseeeee I wanna go with you." Martin huffs.

"No, Martin, you're going to out us!" Tim groans his grip was strong but not enough for their combined weight. "Grab onto a ledge! Use your damn claws."

"I will bite you." Martin holds his hand out and then slams it into the side of the cliff and lets go of Tim. "You owe me!"

"We can go swimming when it won't out us." Tim rolls his eyes and adjusts his grip with both hands. "Now focus, we need a way back up."

"I'm not helping you." Martin sticks his tongue out and climbs the clifside like he was a lizard and stops above Tim. "You're also banned until I see fit from taking my clothes."

"Seriously? We're literally hanging from a cliff." Tim huffs.

"You are. I am climbing." Martin kicks off his shoes then his socks. "Last chance."

Tim looks up at the two women staring at them, and of course, they see Martin sink his claws into stone. "Fine. Not because I want to, but because Sasha and Georgie already saw you sink your hands into the cliffside." He lets go of the cliffside and falls with his arms crossed.

Martin follows in a diving position.

Sasha and Georgie screamed.

......

"Now, Sasha, let's not be hasty." Elias hums, walking by the bottom of the cliffside. "You also said Martin pushed his hands into the cliffside."

"I'm sorry, Sasha, but he's right." Georgie frowns. "I believe in the weird, but that's like impossible, and to fall at that height."

"Well, I hope the supernatural exists." Jon mumbles. "They could survive the fall right?"

"Not likely, water becomes -" Elias is cut off by laughter.

"Martin! Bloody hell!" Tim said through laughter.

Martin was carrying Tim. They were walking out of the waves. "Oh, I love cliff diving. We should do that again!"

The four people stared at the two with jaws open.

[dinos-are-cool-posts]

got to season three of the magnus archives, and I know the number one ship in the fandom that everyone loves is Jon and Martin, and I get it, it's fun, oh Martin is sweet and wants to be his friend but Jon finds him annoying and they have to work together anyway oooh, toss in a heartfelt moment in a tense situation and it's a fun dynamic, I like it. I thought it was just like a fan thing, but as I get further the "undertones" are getting pretty heavy handed. If they actually end up together or having some kind of romantic plot that would be unbelievably funny to me

EVEN WHEN HE'S TALKING TO THE POLICE Martin is so upset at first and no cooperating at all just totally shuts her down and says "No nope John would never ever do that he's a good person shut up get outta here" but then the second she says that it would help since they were so close he totally shifts and is like "Wh- really? Did Jon say that? I-I mean I guess, a little more than the others maybe, but not like- wait did HE say we were close??" <- paraphrased but almost a direct quote. WAHT COULD THEY POSSIBLY MEAN BY THIS? Other than the obvious, of course