#but then i looked closer and i was like oh maybe theyre digital with a traditional look? but looking closer again

[bmpmp3]

and lowkey the yoshitaka amano zola project designs have kind become really inspiring to me lately. i am no amano. i am no where near the same ballpark. BUT. the traditional art pencil drawing watercoloury copic marker loose sketchy fashion art vibe being used on, of all things, vocal synthesizer box art really gets me pondering possibilities you know. where can i put my funny watercolour drawrings..... what kind of digital places can they go.....

okay yeah i mean people fucking HATE this box art if they aren't familiar with amano's work. but its still inspiring. for me orz

[margowritesthings]

your favorite pairing rn baking holiday treats. them realizing theyre both in love and having a kiss covered in flour 😭❤️❤️❤️

a/n: oh bloody hell this... this was supposed to be a little fluffy piece and it got SAD. sorry not sorry (but kinda a little bit sorry). thank you for the request my love, it was a lovely challenge for me!! (also 3 posts this week who AM I)

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A Bit of a Mess

pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

word count: 785 words

warnings: Big Sad

Two failed batches of biscuits lay discarded on the countertop as you try your absolute hardest to get the new set evenly placed on the tray. Arthur is keeping his distance this time, watching your dainty digits with an almost timid air about him. You glance over your shoulder to see him practically at the other side of the room, which makes you laugh softly.

“They don’t have the plague, y’know. You can still help, just don’t… well, maybe just watch.” You struggle to push the amused tones out of your voice, another laughing fit waiting in the wings of the conversation as Arthur feigns an offended air. 

“Look, I said I’m real sorry, but how was I supposed to know-” “-That biscuits don’t have 3 cups of salt in them?” Your eyebrow twitches and your hands find their way to your hips as you begin to lose the battle with laughter. 

“Well sorry that I spent my childhood on the streets, robbin’ for scraps instead of this Baking School for Ladies you seem ta’ have been raised in, missy.” He folds his arms, but the ever growing smile tightening those wonderful, kissable lips of his gives his amusement well away. 

“Oh hush your mouth, Arthur Morgan, it don’t take a genius to tell sugar from salt.”

“Well, apparently it does…” His voice turns low, almost seductive, as he begins to approach you slowly. He looks like a predator, stalking his unassuming, doe-eyed prey. You know this look all too well: you’re either about to get catapulted into ecstasy or tickled to oblivion. You hold your hands up, part in surrender, part to remind him of the masses of flour stuck to your skin. Neither option phases him and he steals a loud squeal from your throat, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you closer. You giggle uncontrollably as he pinches at anywhere he can get his hands on, not caring a jot about the stark white powder coating his shirt, pants and face. 

“Arthur! Sto-op!” You shriek, your giggle evolved into full-blown laughter. Somehow, you manage to reach over to the bowl of flour sitting next to the uncooked treats, grasping a handful and throwing it over the pair of you. A little goes on your dress, but it’s a necessary damage to stop the tickling enough to catch your breath. Arthur stands, slack jawed in shock, absolutely covered. It is a sight to behold, to say the least.

“Oh, you’re done for, sweetheart.” He threatens, leaving you only a single second to register before breaking out into a run. You attempt to bolt off, around into the living room or even yours and Arthur’s bedroom, but his strong arms barricade you in, pulling you up against his hard, large frame. He engulfs you, and while you expect another overload of touch, he stays still, biding his time. 

You look up at him, watching specks of flour fall from his eyelashes every time he blinks. He smirks down at you, enjoying the rise and fall of your chest as apprehension takes over. Instead of tickling, however, Arthur pulls you even closer into him so your cheek is flush with his chest. It coats you in flour, a final act of revenge, you’re sure, but it’s worth it. So so worth it. 

You stay there for a while, wrapped in the strong arms of your cowboy, feeling the safest you’d ever felt. Everything is falling into place. Everything is going to be okay.

A kiss is pressed to the top of your head as Arthur runs his fingers through your hair soothingly. “I love you, y’little minx.” He whispers, placing two fingers under your chin to lift your gaze to him, “C’mere.”

You have to reach onto your tiptoes, but when Arthur’s lips tenderly meet yours, it is perfect. Standing here in your kitchen, safe, protected by your cowboy, everything is as it should be.

Until it isn’t.

The flour falling from the top of Arthur’s head, splattering your nose like white freckles turns wet and cold. The heat from the oven against your backs disappears, replaced by an awful draught through decaying wood. Arthur melts away, slipping through your panicked, grasping hands like liquid smoke.

Your eyes snap open, the breath dragged out of your lungs in a strangled cry. The noise echoes out into the empty, abandoned cabin. 

You’re awake, clutching onto a dusty jacket, your only proof that it was ever real in the first place, as reality hits you like a tonne of bricks falling from the sky.

He’s gone. You’re all alone. It never fell into place at all, never was going to be okay. 

Oh, your sentimental mind…

[luckyasfuck]

effects of being high [k. bakugou]

pairing // stoner!katsu x fem stoner!reader, mentions of seromina, mentions of kamijirou, mentions of serodenki, kirishima has a girlfriend

warnings/themes // no quirk!au, stoner!bakusquad, college students!bakusquad, confident and flirty reader, smoking sessions, NSFW, masturbation, praise, nipple play, oral sex (f!recieving), fingering (f!recieving)

inspiration // the hills - the weeknd

you had found the ‘bakusquad’ smoking weed in the back of the school a few days ago. they weren’t bothered by your presence, kirishima even invited you to sit beside him while he handed you one. their little ring leader wasn’t there, you noticed as you sat down and took the blunt from the red-haired stoner. “school shit, the teachers needed him. he is pretty smart.” they said. this mini session dragged out all afternoon, mina and sero occasionally shotgunned with each other, as well as kiri and his girlfriend. 

a ding erupted from your pocket and you pull your phone out. mina ashido! is typing. hm? mina? oh. the girl from the smoking sesh. she hit you up with a “i got ur snap from this dude in class, dw! we’re going to smoke again, u should join babes” you hum at the idea, “yeah sure, when”

“after school”

“im down” she left you on opened after that. 

class drags out to be long, mina had texted you the place a few minutes ago. it was at the park. the bell rings and you gather your stuff, the bakusquad already skipped their last class and went straight to the park so you hurried your steps. 

they were sat on the concrete floor, kirishima leaning on a ledge with his head thrown back into the middle of mina’s thighs as she sat on the ledge, denki and jirou were shotgunning, kirishima’s girlfriend on his lap, all while sero rolled up blunts.

and of course, bakugou katsuki. he sat a little far away from kirishima, manspreading while lighting up the blunt he encaged in his meaty fingers. he eyed your movements with knotted eyebrows as you dropped your bag down and stole a newly made one from sero, putting it in your mouth. his eyes widen when you come closer to his face, lighting your blunt with the lighter he was using while maintaining eye contact. 

“ooh, sexual tension.” denki commented as you sat down next to kirishima once again and you laugh. “i just forgot my lighter, no sexual tension here.” you looked beside you to katsuki, failing to see the smirk he hid with his hand as he held his blunt. 

the whole session was messy, kirishima and his girlfriend having a heated make out session that led to the both of them going home earlier than the others, sero and denki shotgunning as a dare from both mina and jirou, but you and katsuki kept quiet, enjoying the show. 

“it’s getting late,” you stood up, high. “i’m going home, i’ll see you guys on monday.” sero, denki and jirou waved goodbye at you with a smile, while mina went up and hugged you. you look at katsuki, walking up to him and nearing your face to him again. “see you on monday...” your whisper sent hot air straight to katsuki’s lips, making them tremble slightly. 

“oh my god, she’s so hot.” denki said as he watched katsuki smirk and throw his head back. 

you get home and your phone gets another notification. from bakugou katsuki. you swipe at the notification, “didn’t get the chance to get your snap, so i asked mina” katsuki started. “you’re hot” 

“i know” you chuckled, stripping of your clothes and laid on your bed in your underwear. “confident, i like that” the stoner replied, smirking through the screen. “bet you’d probably love it when i tell you i’m in my underwear right now”

“you’re really trying to get me hard, aren’t you?”

“maybe. what are you gonna do about it?”

“go to your house and fuck the shit out of you.”

“do it then.”

your thighs rub together unconciously at the thought, your hand wandering past the waistband of your panties to rub your clit. the image of katsuki manspreading clouded your head as your fingers dipped inside your hole, pushing in and out slowly. a moan of katsuki’s name escapes your lips as you bite down on it, legs spreading wider. you pump your fingers faster, nearing your orgasm. your spare hand cups your breasts under your bra, playing with your nipples. 

a knock on the door disturbs you mid-moan and you clench around your fingers, fixing your underwear and getting a large shirt that would cover you. katsuki leaned on your doorframe when you opened the door, another blunt in between his fingers. he took a whiff before throwing it to the ground, hoisting you up by your waist and pressing you to the wall. his hand forces your legs open as he situated himself between them. his lips touch yours and he blows the smoke into your mouth, making you moan. 

katsuki grinds his clothed hard on against your soaking panties, his tongue swirling down your throat. he has you panting when he pulls away from you, eyeing the string of saliva connecting your lips. in a second, his lips slam on yours again as he spoke against them, “so pretty for me, y/n.” his hands tug at the hem of your panties until he set you down and took them off, dangling them against your ankle.

he lifts you up again, rough jeans rubbing against your clit making you whimper. “where’s your room, pretty face?” he whispers in your ear, biting it. “upstairs.” you whimpered out, rubbing your cunt against his hard-on. with hurried steps, katsuki places you on your bed, taking his shirt off and getting on top of you. a greek god body, a perfectly sculpted thigh making itself cozy in between your legs. 

the shirt is ripped off of you, your bra unclipped and in seconds, you’re completely naked in front of him. his tongue licks a stripe up both your nipples, gently biting and sucking on them with his pearly whites. “katsu- hng, katsuki...” you wrapped your arms around his neck as he kissed lower and lower before stopping at your pelvic bone. 

“spread.” with a quick command, your legs instantly separate, giving him the best view of your glistening heat. your toes curl when he uses his fingers to spread your pussy lips apart, giving your insides a taste of his tongue. he sucks on your clit, two of his digits digging inside you. his cock is throbbing inside his jeans, staining his underwear with pre-cum.

the hot kisses travel upwards again, his lips capturing yours as he used his spare hand to take off his remaining clothes. he adds another fingers, scissoring them inside you as he swirled his tongue all around your mouth and lips. “ready for my cock, pretty face?” you throw your head back, nodding. 

katsuki presses kisses against your jaw and hickies on your neck, stroking his  cock and prodding his tip at your entrance. slowly pushing it inside, the both of you let out a moan. he lifts your hips up from the bed, pushing in at a better angle. you whine loudly, “just shove it in already!” he cocks an eyebrow at you smirking.

“you asked for it, pretty face.”

“do u think theyre fucking” denki chatted the bakusquad gc, attaching a screenshot of yours and katsuki’s location being at your house. “obv dumbass” jirou replied. “i feel bad for y/n’s pussy” “eijirou! dont say that!’ “PLS LSADHALKH” 

[meltwonu]

47. “Shut up.”

         “Why don’t you come over here and make me.”

39. “You taste like fucking candy.”

notes; AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES… lord i just love the idea of fucking an annoyed mingyu kdsjfhkds, cocky!mingyu, dirty talk, using panties as a gag, a little oral(fem receiving)/fingering, a little cum eating. Also forgive me bc im trying a different formatting of my drabbles and rly im just turning them into 1k-ish word fics?😭😭 I JUST CAN’T SHUT UP and these get so long so theyre not rly drabbles anymore sorry but also ive gotten so far without renaming the entire drabble game thing so… ye. Should i rename this drabble game? Or is it okay? Sorry that i cannot write short things…😭😩 should i include a word count?😅 I’m a mess and this is longer than 1k so the rest is under the cut!! Thank you for requesting!!! Enjoy!💕

“Fuck, Mingyu, you left your shit in the washing machine again! Can you just get your shit together so I don’t have to wait on you all the time!?”

You prop a hand on your hip, watching as the male raises a brow from his place on the sofa when he turns his attention to you.

“Why don’t you go clean the bowl you left in the sink then, huh? I can say the same thing!”

Your lips press into a firm line; annoyance clear on your features. “My one fuckin’ bowl isn’t deterring you from using the sink but your shit in the washer is preventing me from washing my damn clothes!”

The tall male gets up from his spot on the sofa; annoyance obvious on his face as well. “You’re just so…”

“Just so what, Mingyu?”

He grits his teeth as he makes his way to leave and deal with the laundry. “Forget it.”

You watch as he moves his things to the dryer before shooting you a harsh stare and beelining straight for his room across the hallway.

You finally manage to put your things in the washer once Mingyu retreats to his bedroom and it beeps once when it finally finishes, 45 minutes later.

Except now Mingyu’s clothes are just sitting in the dryer.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you storm over to Mingyu’s bedroom, flinging the door open with the intent of giving him a piece of your mind again. 

“Mingyu, you fuckin’----”

“Fuck!”

Your eyes flit all across the tall male with his back against the headboard and  you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from his large hand wrapped around his thick cock; throat going dry at the view. “Uh---”

“Don’t you fucking knock!?”

The words die on your tongue the longer you stand his doorway, and he, too, makes no effort to move from his place on his bed. “M--maybe if you fucking moved your shit from the dryer on t-time!” You retort; already losing the fight in your voice the longer your eyes fixate on the leaking tip of his cock.

Mingyu’s at a loss for words himself and he’s unsure of what to even do to make the situation less awkward.

But he will admit; your flustered expression might’ve made his cock twitch.

He clears his throat, “I don’t see you leaving. Finally owning up to the fact you wanna fuck me?” Mingyu grins; cockiness replacing the awkwardness he was feeling moments prior.

“Shut up.”

His grin falters momentarily before it’s back; his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Why don’t you come over here and make me.”

Mingyu is meticulous. You have to admit.

He cleans while he cooks and makes sure his utensils and prepping station are absolutely spotless before the meal is even done cooking.

He’s apparently also just as meticulous with his tongue when he eats you out; fingers knuckle deep and curling into your g-spot just as he uses the tip of his tongue to tease your clit for the umpteeth time. “Ngh, fuck---fuck you, Mingyu!” You lock your hands into his permed hair, tugging on it slightly when he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks hard.

“God, fuck y-you!” You grind against his tongue and fingers as you get closer and closer to the verge of an orgasm.

Mingyu pulls away slightly, lips glistening and wet. “You taste like fucking candy. It’s a shock considering your sour nature.” He mutters quietly, only loud enough for you to catch it as the heat blooms on your cheeks. “Just shut up and eat me out.” You mumble back.

Scoffing, he thrusts his fingers into you harshly one more time. “I think you’ve had enough actually.” He wiggles his fingers inside of your wet cunt as you moan out. “It’s time for you to give me what I want too.”

He pulls his fingers out, popping them into his own mouth as he licks your wetness off of them. Your grip on his hair loosens as he starts to sit up between your legs; his long hair falling into his dark eyes when he looks down at you. “Get up, we’re switching places.”

“Fine.”

It takes you a second to maneuver around the tall male on his small bed; huffing when he lays down against the pillows. “I ate you out and fingered your ‘lil pussy so now you can ride my cock and pull some of the weight around here.” He snides.

A smirk paints its way onto his features as you clench your jaw and sit down onto his thighs. “You’re lucky I needed to get laid or I wouldn’t be this willing to ride your fuckin’ dick.”

“Oh please, you probably dream about my cock. I see you eyeing me when I’m just walkin’ around in my sweats. I bet I’m who you fantasize about when you’re getting off with that vibrator of yours. Which, by the way, is fuckin’ loud. I hope you realize I can hear it when I pass by your bedroom. You should really---mmph!”

You quickly stuff your soaked panties between his lips before he can say anything more; gritting your teeth. “You really need to shut up. You’re cuter with your mouth closed or eating me out.”

Mingyu wasn’t… technically wrong. You just didn’t want to hear it right now.

You quickly shimmy your body up until you can reach down and wrap a hand around his cock and Mingyu places his hands on your waist to steady you as you slowly start to sink down onto him. “O-oh, fuck…”

A garbled moan spills from your lips as you feel him filling you up inch by inch; already wanting to start a quick pace as you chase your own orgasm.

Mingyu groans from around the panties between his lips and he tosses his head back as your tight, warm walls clench around his cock.

He thought about you sometimes too. Not that he’d admit it either.

It takes a few tense seconds and a few stuttered breaths before you’re completely seated on his cock; the tip of it already curving into your g-spot as you give yourself a moment to adjust to his size. “Y’know, if you w-weren’t such a cocky son of a b-bitch, I wouldn’t be so, ah, opposed to fucking y-you… G-god, I’d probably even, ngh, d-date you..”

You slowly start to swivel your hips as you mewl; Mingyu’s cock fit inside your cunt so perfectly. “But all y-you do is, hah, c-complain about m-my messes when you’re m-messy too…”

Mingyu’s blunt nails dig into the skin of your naked waist as you alternate between bouncing in his lap and swiveling your hips. And in return, his harsh breaths are all you can hear as you fuck yourself on his cock. He knows he could easily flip you onto your back and fuck you into his bedsheets until all you knew was his name, but he plays nice for now and lets you have your fun while you could.

“What were you t-thinkin’ about, huh? Before I walked in h-here. Were you thinkin’ about, ah, me? Do I get you s-so heated that, mmh, you g-get hard? Are you t-that easy?” You shoot him a cocky grin of your own as you clench around his cock. He narrows his eyes at you before he plants his feet firmly onto the bed and bucks his hips up into you; effectively jostling you and making you bounce harder in his lap as he starts to fuck you.

A sharp whine escapes past your lips as he starts a quick pace and you're quick to meet his movements as you slam down onto his cock with each of his thrusts. The two of you fall into a comfortable rhythm as you both unload all of the sexual tension that’d been brewing for the few months that you’d been roommates.

Your saccharine moans and whines mix in with Mingyu’s harsh breaths and muffled groans as you both feel yourselves inching closer and closer to the edge. He can already feel his cock twitching and he can already feel the way your walls tighten even more around his cock with each passing second.

You reach a hand between your body and his; fingertips on your swollen clit as you race towards your orgasm. “Fuck, I, ah, w-wanna cum…” You mumble.

Mingyu bites down onto the fabric in his mouth as he tosses his head back again, his forehead covered in a sheen of sweat as he starts to feel his abdomen tightening with his impending orgasm.

And he doesn’t warn you when he cums, but you can feel his cock twitching and his cum filling you up as his thrusts lose their rhythm. You let out a choked moan at the feeling and you rub quicker circles on your clit as you throw yourself over the edge and into your orgasm as well.

Mingyu lets out a muffled groan as he feels your walls fluttering around him and for a moment, he tells himself he could get used to fucking you.

“Oh, g-god, you’re, ah, fu--fucking cumming so---so much inside of m-me…” Whimpering, you slam down onto his cock as you both ride out your high and Mingyu’s eyes fixate on the way his cock slides out of your wet pussy covered in his cum and your wetness.

Mingyu moves a hand from your waist to pluck the soaked material out of his mouth; tossing it to the side as he gently massages his jaw.

“Look at you, still fucking yourself on my cock. Want more already, huh?” He watches as you reach down and scoop up some of the cum that settled onto his skin, lips parted slightly as he lets out a soft moan. You continue to swivel your hips atop his lap, waiting until your orgasm completely ebbs off before you come to a full stop. 

You pop your wet digits into your mouth, keeping eye contact with him as he commits to memory the way you suck on your fingers and swallow down the cum. 

He grits his teeth as he watches you repeat the action. “Such a good girl cleaning up your mess, huh? That’d be a first for you, wouldn’t it?” His eyes twinkle with an almost evil glint when you finally pop the clean digits from between your lips and move to straddle his thighs again; this time, globs of cum dripping from your pussy as his cock slides from inside of you.

Images of you in different positions flit through Mingyu’s mind as he smiles.

“Say, do you really want to know what I was thinking about before you walked in?”

[iilko]

hi iilko! i hope ur having a nice day! i hav this idea for a while now and i hope youre caught up with the manga so may i request a scenario with muichirou and his fem s/o who fights alongside with him against koku, but she ended up dying and mui surviving? months prior to that, they both decided to get married once they defeated muzan and are old enough, and they both wear a ring that they would replace w a real one once theyre old. upon remembering this convo, mui just breaks. thank you

Mono No Aware.

count: 1k words.

苦あれば楽あり。

The thought tended to flee from him before he could utter it out loud, but Tanjirou enjoyed how Muichiro’s household looked from afar. How the sakura trees cradled and hid the home from the onlookers and outsiders. The blessing of spring was that the trees birthed mutations of pink petals that puffed and covered every inch, giving them the illusion of a sakura forest.

Yet, in a season like winter, they became cold and barren, like a being stripped from its warmth, like Eve (the life-giver, naïve woman who cursed the flesh) after struck with the shame of being naked. Then, his shelter became noticeable and the world could see it.

In seasons like those, the former pillar wouldn’t step into the place.

“Ah, Muchirou.” Tanjirou settled himself down onto the engawa. “Did you plant another tree today?”

“… Two today.”

“Ah,” He tugged at the ends of his sleeves, sweat seeping through the cuffs, “I’m sorry, I was running late so I couldn’t help!”

“It’s fine,” Muchirou shuffled in his crossed position, he leaned his back to the wooden rail behind them and scratched his right bicep, the scarred bicep floating and wiggling in response. A painting of scars littered his body as the soft light slightly hit them. “You travel a lot.”

Tanjirou chuckled, “that I do.”

They hadn’t reached the middle-half of being twenty. Yet their bodies carried rivers of scars and wounds that spoke of an older, morbidly nostalgic time. As kind as their hearts could be to others, the skin of a former slayer would always be so tough and cruel. Time healed many wounds but not enough, and not the ones that mattered.

He found it tough but manageable living in an era of peace. War and bloodshed still carried on under his eyelids and at night you could hear the voices––– cinematic and life-like. He had the ghosts of the fallen stand beside him as he slept. Life, mentally, was never silent.

He was sure Muchirou could relate.

Those gradient locks were always in a single braid, resting down to the tailbone. His pale skin lost its glow from the scratches that marred his skin like a thin woman’s hair. His deep eyes were narrow but that infamous passive glint was stronger than ever. He said more than he would in the past but spoke less. Almost living in this weird plane of being.

He couldn’t help but play with the word if, if she was still here… Who would he be now?

“I’ve run out of seeds, though. The birds have eaten a lot of them.” Muichiro admitted.

“I’ll buy you more then” Tanjirou exhaled with a softness, “so you’ll never run out.”

He hummed, “she would’ve fed them back to the birds, anyway.”

Kamado laughed. Light and airy, “still, would’ve kept some to plant, no?”

Muichirou did not give him an answer but Tanjirou didn’t need one.

There was a river. It ran from the mountains down through the towns. On its journey, it often made a route behind Tokito’s household, where it would splash against the salty river rocks and little rolls of bumps on the earth. The process was loud enough to hear through the tatami rooms, and it’s chattering spoke for them when they were stuck in their silence. When Tanjirou couldn’t say what he was here for.

Then,

“Did I do enough?” He whispered through the rivers.

Tanjirou could hear him loud and clear.

“You always do.”

Muichiro felt sick when he saw you like this.

Your hurried steps alongside him and Gyoumei were hushed and light. The sheathed claymore you wielded so tight in your grasp made each individual knuckle popped under your skin. Your eyes were dry and burned with holy fire.

It was that aura of a shining beacon, the grace of felinity, and the energy of warzone–– all bombs and pipes that only you radiated. Your face hot, your breathing became heavier, your legs rose higher with each step, and you exploded with a diluted hubris to ease the people around you. To convince everyone that you had it under control.

You were digging your funeral and were waiting for the right time to fall into it.

Yet, when Gyoumei was ahead, you stopped, pulled him to the side and told him not to die. Your warm, calloused hands squished his cheeks as you rested your hot forehead against his. In a firm, beckoning, and tender voice you told him, “don’t you die on me.”

‘Don’t you die on me.’ You said it and soused it with love. Now, those words were morbid and achingly haunting.

You pecked his chapped lips, and the smoothed jade that jumped above your valley winked at him. His eyes went down to the jade bracelet on his right wrist, his words still lost in his throat.

You let go of him and stumbled back to inspect, your expressive eyes invoked a sweet melancholy (it was SAUDADE; a kindling affection sticky like mochi but an accepted destiny lingering under it), before you gleamed a smile, “I still want to get married, y’know.”

Maybe, if he had said it back to you before Gyoumei had called out for the both of you and before the shifting rooms violently pushed you from his space, you would’ve lived.

“Stop looking like that.” Those were the words refused to leave his mouth, he remembered his lips even trembling just to spit them out. His stomach dropped and the world collapsed.

Stop looking like you’re about to leave me.

Tanjirou then put his hand into his laid coat, “right, Muichiro, it’s finally done. I’m sorry they took too long but sending such a small thing overseas can have it lost in a lot of things.”

Initially, it was just a small black box. Those scarred fingers pulled back the top and revealed two rings carved out of pure jade with a centerpiece of a lighter, brighter gem all accented with a gold bezel ring.

“Do you like it? It’s fancier than I expected but…”

“Will you help me put one on?” Muchirou asked and Tanjirou agreed with eager.

When placed, the ring flaunting on his marred digits, the corners of the younger man’s lips pulled.

“It’s glowing.”

“Mui, do you want kids?”

Hazy eyes peeked up at you, before directing their attention back to the frog on the lily pad, his crouched form unwavering. “I haven’t thought that far, probably not.”

You pouted falsely and made your shoulders deflate as you turned your head away from him, “wow, that’s not what I wanted to hear at all.”

“Do you?”

“No, but I’m still kind of disappointed.”

“Oh,” Muchirou said lamely, “sorry.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, making quick steps towards him. You crouched beside him, shoveling your skirt beneath your bent backside then turned to meet his blank stare, “you were supposed to say maybe, Mui.”

“Why?”

You could see the blurry confusion in his eyes and pursed your lips to stop your laughter. You punched him lightly with a fist and hopped an inch closer to him, placing your sight on the frog too.

“Just in case we think about having some.”

“I don’t want any right now.”

“Not in the future, though? When we marry?”

He didn’t answer you then, not until the frog hopped onto another lily pad. His eyebrows bumped together.

“You want to marry me?”

“Of course,” you smiled, “I love you.”

Shock looked hazy in his pupils, and it would leave his eyes to burn into embarrassment on his ears. The stoic look he was so infamous for melted with the small smile on his lips and pink cheeks.

“Okay.” He nodded, his eyes never off you. He wasn’t sure about love most of the time, and what it could mean or be but he didn’t mind learning with you. Never you.

“After, Kibutsuji is done for.” You nodded curtly, “we’ll get married in a forest of sakura trees and our rings would be made of that pretty rock we found. Oh! and we’ll invite everybody.”

“Okay.” He said softly and you arched a brow at his face, “what is it? Why are you making that face?”

The frog hopped and Muichirou’s grin grew a tad wider, “I don’t know, I can’t really stop!”

“You’re so weird!”

“It’s because of you!”

Could one die looking heroic? Of course, you could leave this earth as a hero but could you die looking like one?

If it was, then could you die looking like you were in love? Perhaps, that would just be dying with a smile on your face.

Muchirou believed you died being violently, helplessly, foolishly in love.

You were in love with your family, your friends, humanity, earth, good, and maybe him. There had to be some if you wanted to marry him but maybe not enough if you left this earth knowing you were to die.

He kind of got love now, it was when he hated your absence far more than he loved your presence.

The sight of your body being impaled by the roots of his ancestor would never leave his mind. Along with the sight of his parents, the sight of Yuchiro.

It always felt as if they were always in his grasp and that he was never quick enough, never strong enough. The ones that mattered always died when he was still weak. At that moment, he knew was strong enough to have saved his mother and father. Weeks ago, he was strong enough to stop Yuchiro.

Years later, in a home hiding in a sea of sakura trees, he was strong enough to save you.

None of it mattered if they weren’t there, though. That’s the catch, no matter how strong you get, there was a time when you were too weak and couldn’t do anything, and that will always haunt you.

As Muchirou stood in front of your glorified grave with its white Chrysanthemums, yellow Camellias, petals of Sakura, and blue Sweetpeas, he came to a solution. It was a solution that took years to make.

He couldn’t have been strong enough for you, but he’d strong for himself and the others that needed him. It was the most he could do and it was what you would’ve wanted.

But for today, he’d plant another flower, the red spider-lily, place your ring on the top of the tombstone and cry out the last of his tears.

The river silenced itself, so did the branches, and the wind, and allowed him to cry one last time.

Sakura (櫻)/Cherry Blossoms: 物の哀れ (The pathos of life, the sensitivity to ephemera)

[thatawesomenerdygirl]

let me take the lead || Dick Grayson [NSFW]

OKAY so I was kinda imagining this lil scene where the male reader tries to ‘seme’ his partner (either dick or jason cuz theyre so manly ugh 😭) by, you know, like pinning them against the wall and do this husky/gruff voice and whispers lewd things to his partner’s ear, AND it turned on his partner ;)))) and then comes the goddamn rough sex with lots of thrusting and rubbing MMHMHM

Warning(s): explicit languages and content, the title is serious btw it’s NSFW.

A/N: OH BOI, I have never written an M/M sex scenario before, except for that one HC you probably had read before this one. BUT HEY, a first for everything! Sorry, this takes me so long, things happened, yipes!

And by the way, I just noticed some of my 18+ works are…MISSING- or maybe it’s just me. What am I missing?

M/M, Male/Male.

Dick was surprised upon stepping his foot into his shared bedroom, he was pinned against the wall, a familiar feeling of your chest pressing against his to keep him in position while your hands were resting by his head. He looked at you with wide eyes before the initial shock was replaced with lust, he could feel his cock throbbing beneath his suddenly tight pants.

“Hello to you too, baby,” the ravenette smirked, licking his lips.

You responded with a deep hum as you placed your lips to his jaw, open-mouthed and wet kisses you delivered to his skin as your lips made their way to his own causing him to shudder. This was so unlike you.

“Not that I don’t like the attention– mmm,” he was cut off with a particularly deep kiss, your tongue invading his mouth, tracing every nook and cranny before your mouth decided to trail downwards, he took it as a chance to continue his inquiry, breathlessly, “but what’s gotten into you?”

Dick felt your teeth grazing his neck, nipping and sucking hard at his pulse point and it got him to arch his back off the now warm wall, cursing softly under his breath.

“Been thinking about you,” you looked up at him through your lashes, eyes lidded heavily as you sensuously licked down his neck, grinding your own clothed erection against his which wasn’t too hard since you were almost at the same height as he.

Dick took a deep breath, his chiseled chest expanding. “Yeah?” responded Dick lustfully, his big hands gripping your hips, pressing you more into him and just then he could feel the damp patch in your sweatpants where the head of your cock would be, “gosh,” he nearly threw his head back, “what did you think about?”

Your boyfriend let you reach for his belt buckle, fiddling with it before pulling his pants down along with his boxers, his cock twitched when the cold air hit the sensitive head. Swirling your thumb over the tip, collecting the pre that had leaked from the slit, you pressed another smothering kiss to his lips.

“Many things,” you grasped his thigs, lifting him up against the wall while he wrapped his legs around your hips. Dick’s hand went to your hair, gripping the strands tightly in his fist to bring your face closer. “You okay bottoming today?” you asked, carrying him into your shared bedroom before throwing him on the bed.

Dick bounced on the mattress, watching you as you crawled your way towards him. Your figure looming over him. He eyed the tent in your pants, licking his lips as he shed his shirt, pants already thrown somewhere when you carried him. He didn’t need to answer, all he needed to do was to reach for the lube, spreading his legs and lubed his ass hole as he stroked his needy length. His fingers went in almost with no resistance, he no longer jacking himself off, moaning just because he had his digits inside.

“Hurry,” he rasped, begged for your cock. Gone was the cool Dick Grayson, all that was left just your horny boyfriend, lifting his hips up as he kept fucking himself with his fingers. “Please, fuck, hurry up.”

You teasingly stroked your length in front of him, precum dripping out of your slit. He whined when you nudged his hole with the tip, barely pushing the head in before pulling back out, Dick was almost regretting pulling his fingers out. This was such a turn on for you, seeing the golden boy like this. Hair messy, sweat dribbling down his forehead, swollen lips opened with every deep intake of breath he took.

“Please,” was all Dick needed to say before you pushed your cock in, not even going for the slow thrusts, you went on jackhammering his ass. Your hands rested by either side of his head while his own was grasping your shoulders, pulling you down to a messy kiss. “Ohh– fuck, please!”

“Mm, don’t worry, baby,” you cooed against his open mouth, nipping his lip before dragging it with your teeth, delivering a particularly deep and hard thrust that made him keen, eyes rolling back and hand went to his dick, stroking furiously. “I’m just getting started.”

[honestlyconkus]

connor and markus having to deal with the media desperately trying to figure out if theyre a thing or not? love everything you write!

Conkus breaks the internet? HELL YEAH

-

Ring

Ring

Ring

On the 3rd ring Markus reached for his phone, groggy fingers grabbing the thin plastic device. His vision was still blurry from sleep. A digital clock glowed brightly and said 8:23am. It was a saturday.

“Hello?”

“MARKUS! OH MY GOD GET ON IRIS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. MARKUS CAN YOU HEAR ME? MARKUS-“

At North’s screeching tones Markus pulled the phone a foot from his ear so she wouldn’t break his eardrums. She was still screaming at him from the speaker after a minute, her voice occasionally going static because she was speaking so loudly and quickly. When there was a break in her sentences that’s when he’d intercept.

North took a quick pause and Markus latched onto the silence. “Number 1, slow down. Number 2, why are you calling me so early again? Number 3, why do you want me online-”

“HAVE YOU BEEN READING THE NEWS YOU OLD FUCK, THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU! AND CONNOR.”

At Connor’s name his heart dropped, ice pooling at his chest. Shit. “Connor? What about him?”

“THEY SAID YOU GUYS ARE DATING. SO GET ON IRIS RIGHT NOW AND SET THIS ONE STRAIGHT WITH YOUR FRIENDS.”

“Uhm.”

“DON’T uhm ME YOU SLUT JUST FUCKING TALK TO US,” suddenly North gasped, her voice considerably dropping in pitch and in volume. “Unless Connor is sitting there right beside you, naked?!”

Actually, Connor was in his kitchen cooking him breakfast. He could smell the greasy scent of bacon and faintly hear Connor humming a tune. There were soft noises of kitchenware being moved around.

Markus figured Connor would take awhile, so he decided to go along with it. He’s also pretty sure North would have a heart attack if he didn’t answer at least one of her questions. “No no, he’s not here with me. Fine I’ll get on, just gimme a second.”

He hung up on North and walked to his desk, where it had a computer screen, a small LED bar meant for holograms, and a touchscreen surface for his keyboard. He logged in and clicked on IRIS, which was a video call service meant to talk to people over long distances. The camera took in a person’s image and turned them into 3D holograms, projected onto a patron’s LED. Markus gave them a call and watched as North, Simon and Josh manifested in holographic forms before him.

He could faintly see the walls and decorations of their bedroom. North’s hair was up in a towel, and she wore a fluffy white bathrobe. She seemed to be sitting in Simon’s lap, who was yawning quietly and resting his head against her chest, blond hair a messy bedhead. Josh was sitting from the bed, and Markus could barely see him wearing sweats and a tshirt, slightly smaller than the other 2. He was farther away.

“MARKUS!” Hologram North said, immediately pointing an accusatory finger at him. He moved back when the particles moved towards him, really feeling as if she were standing right in front of him.

“IS IT TRUE? ARE YOU AND CONNOR ANDERSON DATING? IF SO WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US.”

“And why aren’t you wearing a shirt,” Simon whined, eyeing Markus’ body up and down appreciatively. “You know it’s not fair to us, looking so hot all the time. You’re ruining my self esteem.”

Markus raised a hand, a small smile on his lips. “North, stop yelling. I’ll answer your questions when you stop giving me the Look. Also, where are these accusations even coming from? Simon, baby, you are quite literally a model. A Calvin Klein model at that, you don’t need to compare me to you to know that you’re just as hot, maybe even more so.”

Simon blushed and turned his face into North’s robe, who rolled her eyes but patted him on the back. “He’s right Simon stop saying dumb shit about yourself. And stop flirting with Markus, he has a boyfriend now, apparently.” She crossed her arms and glared at him through her webcam.

The likeness of her and her holographic form were uncanny.

“The rumours started when paps found a photo of you taken by someone, and they dropped a name,” Josh intervened, coming closer to view. He gently pushed North and Simon away and began sending him articles, links. “It began to escalate when people saw the articles and started tweeting them at you. I believe this all happened in a duration of 3 days. Did you really not know about this?”

Markus clicked on the messaging system and frowned when links upon links were sent to him. Mainly on blogs, articles, small funky websites. A lot of tweets too, entire threads about Markus and this mystery man. He’s surprised even news coverage was conducted.

Titles included, Who Is This Mystery Man?, Is Markus Manfred Single?, Markus Manfred: Dating?!, Mystery Man with Famous Detroit Painter, Markus Manfred! The list went on and on, each title only a slight variation to the other, and many sharing the same grainy photo; Markus and a man sitting together at a coffee shop, his face obscured by his baseball hat. The coverage was immense, certain sites trying to zoom in on the photo to try to decipher the mystery person. The name Connor Anderson repeatedly popped up, presumably the name the photographer fed sources.

He shook his head, sighing. “No. I was working on a painting the last few days. You know my rules when I paint; no social media until my main idea is done.”

Josh pushed the black wire-rimmed glasses up, his finger rubbing gently across his nose. “Well, it’s gotten big enough people are speculating what it possibly means, who this supposed “connor anderson” is, if he’s even the real connor, etc etc. People are even appearing on North and Simon’s lives and asking if we knew anything.”

“Which we didn’t,” North said, glaring angrily. If her eyes could light someone on fire Markus would be scorched. “Enlighten us, then.”

“Were you guys gonna tell us before the media found out or? Because honestly I feel like I’ve just been betrayed by my own mother. Which I have, by the way, when she ate my pint of strawberry ice cream back in 4th grade but that’s not the point. I mean, how could you do this to us, and more importantly to me?” She turned her nose up in the air and gestured to him, giving him an opening.

Markus opened his mouth then closed it, thinking about how to word the situation properly. He felt bad, he really did. His reasoning was because he didn’t want his friends involved and to end up being dragged along the wrong side of the screen; too many people have tried to do that to Markus already and he hated it.

His life was open to criticism, but he’d be damned if he let the people he loved get in the mix of it too.

“Okay, fine, Connor and I have been dating for quite some time now. Since… June 4th, I think?”

North let out a scream, which prompted Simon to scoot back so she could stand up and glare into the camera. Suddenly Connor entered the room, smiling wide and holding a tray of their breakfast. He set it down on a nearby table and walked closer.

“Good morning Markus- oh! Is that North? Hello North! It’s me Connor.”

From Jericho’s point of view, Connor’s holographic figure was small and dim due to the distance from the camera. When he came into view, hand wrapping around Markus’ neck and waving adorably at them, they all noticed 3 things.

Connor wearing one of Markus’ button downs- visibly buttoned wrong, wrinkled, and nothing else beneath

The small bruises, red and purple, peeking out of his white collar when he leaned forward.

Markus soft smile as Connor walked up to introduce himself, blue and green eyes looking absolutely smitten.

North continued screaming, standing up and walking out of the room for a moment. Connor watched as her little figure disappeared, concern knitted into his eyebrows. Her voice was merely an echo after a few seconds.

“Is she alright?”

The jericho boys nodded, Simon leaning forward, hand on his desk and chin on his hand, smiling. “She’ll be back, she just needs to let off some steam. But wow, congratulations you guys! I didn’t know you were dating.”

“Yeah, we’re sorry about that,” Connor said, taking his seat onto Markus’ lap. “We didn’t want it to become a big deal, and because he has the Manfred name putting this out public so early would’ve been a headache to him and the police department.”

“So we decided to give it a try secretly,” Markus continued. One hand reached beneath Connor’s shirt and gently drew circles with his fingers along the hips. His other hand rested against Connor’s thighs, also covered in marks. “See if we could, you know, make it work.”

“It looks like it did.” Josh winked, staring pointedly at the marks covering Connor’s body. Connor blushed and stood up, looking for a pair of joggers to present himself better. When he left North came back, towel gone and her hair brushed down. She was still wearing her robe, considerably less ruffled but still pissed.

“So what are we going to do?” North asked, sitting back onto Simon’s lap. Her voice was surprisingly clear despite screeching from the depths of her soul a minute ago. “The media is already trying to make this much more fucked up than it should be.”

Markus rolled his eyes. He’d heard the same things over and over again, always accusing him of plagiarism or thinking he’s up to a scandal, like his half brother Leo. They’re always trying to drag his name to the ground but he’d grown thick skin and it doesn’t bother him as much. “It’s fine. I don’t care what they think of me.”

“But what about Connor?” North pushed Josh to the side and began hunting for the harsher articles, the ones intent on tearing her best friend down.

“What about me?” Connor came back into view wearing Markus’ sweats and sat back down onto his boyfriend’s lap, sitting up straight and smiling curiously at North. She smiled back and blew his holographic figure a kiss.

“Hey baby. I’m still mad at you for not telling me anything, but I promise I won’t rip your fingers off when we meet next time. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Anyway,” She went back on her hunt, ignoring the stunned looks on everyone’s faces between their exchange. “I think the media figured out Markus wouldn’t give 2 shits, so they’ve decided to target Connor instead. They’re accusing him of his integrity, thinking he’s being sold out to Markus so Markus could hide his supposed scandals, maybe Connor is sleeping his way through the department to get a promotion, etc etc.”

She sent over the links to the articles, watching as Markus’ face grew tighter and tighter. Blue and green eyes were lit with a raging fury as the media attempt to get under his skin by attacking the one he loved. They went so far in the reach they even tried to link the two’s relationship with Connor’s father, Hank. Asking if his slump a few years back had anything to do with Connor being “bought” to succession in the precinct. It almost worked, until Connor leaned back to press his weight against Markus’ chest, reminding him he’s here.

He turned and gave Markus a quick kiss to the jaw, waiting until the beating heart he could feel slowed.

Connor wanted to laugh at the titles. Is Markus Manfred Hiding A Scandal?, Markus Manfred, Paying Detective Hush Money!, Detective Anderson A Sell Out!, Scandal In The DPD!

“Where these really all they could come up with?” Connor asked, clicking through, unbothered. “You’d think they went to school for this.”

“You’re not upset?” Markus asked, looking down at his lover. “You’re not mad about how the people will perceive you?”

“Of course I’m mad.” Connor said, rolling his eyes and jostling him with his elbow. “I’m mad that they’re attacking me for illogical reasons, trying to start something they don’t properly understand. The fact that no media outlets have reached out to us is ridiculous and embarrassing on their part. I’m mad they can’t even do their research correctly. I’m mad that this will hinder my future investigations, because detectives at the DPD still don’t like me and will do whatever it takes to tear a rookie like me down.”

Markus’ guilt grew at each passing sentence, feeling more and more to blame at getting Connor caught up in this, until Connor’s voice grew strong and he gave Markus a pointed look.

“I’m especially mad that they think they can get away with attacking my lover like this. They will regret doing this.”

Markus smiled, leaning down for a kiss. The crowd before them held a mixture of boos, cheers, and groans. In order: North, Simon, and Josh. Connor reciprocated by kissing him back, a simple kiss because of the audience.

He grew more bold when there weren’t people looking.

“So what do you want to do?” Josh asked, staring at the couple. “The easiest way to dispel the rumours from escalating is clearing anything up as soon as possible. A statement should suffice.” He was tapping rapidly on his keyboard, already looking at analytics for their social media profiles.

“You need to make it public,” Simon added, nodding in agreement. He began to list off ways they could make it happen. “Markus has a platform; Connor can come to us if he wants to say anything to the internet.”

“Whatever happens, we’re here for you Markus.” North concluded, nodding resolutely at her best friend. The rest of them agreed.

Markus felt his heart swell with pride and fierce love for his friends, the people he’d begun to consider family almost a year ago. He looked down at his boyfriend, who was also staring back at him, waiting for a response.

“What do you think Connor?”

Connor shrugged, sitting back comfortably into his lover’s warmth. “It’s up to you Markus. You’re the one with the social media accounts; it’d also make more sense for the public to hear it from you first. Like I said, their words don’t bother me like you imagined they would, but I think going public with our relationship would be a good idea. It’ll create less headaches for the both of us in the future, and I don’t see anything going wrong in this scenario. We can clear up any confusion, confirm the relationship, and hope no one is still homophobic in the year 2040.”

“Are you sure you want this?” Markus asked, brushing a thumb across the back of Connor’s palm. He stared in thought as Connor flipped his hand over, playing with Markus’ fingers until he intertwined their hands together. “It won’t be the same afterwards.”

“Are you kidding me?” Connor craned his neck to the right, looking up. His eyebrows were scrunched in disbelief. “I’ve been wanting to tell the world you were my boyfriend for months. Of course I want this.”

Everyone laughed at Markus’ perplexed expression, Connor grinning mischievously. He reached up and pulled Markus down for another kiss, this one slow and deliberate, tongues out, making the crowd whistle and cat call at their raunchiness. North had to clear her throat when she saw Connor arch his back, which only meant Markus’ hands had gone to discreet places.

“Alright you whores, it’s settled.” She smiled, crossing her arms across her chest. The couple broke apart and sat up, attentive. “We’ll start our plan of attack against those journalist goons with Markus. Beginning with his Instagram. Once you confirm with a cute photo of the 2 of you (keep it PG), Simon and I will also confirm anything on our lives.”

“Josh will handle twitter; just tweet out whatever the people want to hear, maybe do a Q&A or something, thread here and there.”

“Could I use my snapchat?” Connor offered, waving his phone in the air. North’s eyebrows rose in surprise and she chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief. They hadn’t even known Connor had social media.

“You know, Connor, sometimes you really surprise me.”

“We’ll keep doing this until someone wants to interview us, I presume?” Markus asked, glancing between Jericho and Connor. They all nod and he relaxed against the chair, pacified.

“Huh.” Everyone held their breath, expectant.

There was a flash of white as Markus unlocked his phone, scrolling through his gallery for photos.

“Let’s do it.”

-

am I starting another series? I’m starting another series ;)

conkus breaks the internet

asks still open!! I’m trying to get as many as I can so that when college starts I can just post those and stay active for yall lol

[necroticarachnidism]

> Cae: Be Ridiculous.

necroticarachnidism

Being kidnapped isn't the worst thing that could possibly happen to you. Your captors were certainly trying their best to be cruel, but the holding cell they shoved you in after their deranged "traps" wasn't as claustrophobic as it could've been, and incredibly clean. There was even one entire piece of unnecessary furniture, in the form of an incredibly cheap and tacky folding screen. The only problem is that it's always inevitably interrupted by-

"HOW ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THERE? LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN HAVING A PRETTY GOOD TIME! NOT."

That.

You and Dualscar both groan at the voice you've become far too accustomed to over the course of this trip. At the very least the ringleader and their cronies were here in the flesh, though, which was marginally better than having to hear them abuse a squeaky intercom.

The leader pulls a set of handcuffs out of their pocket and starts spinning them around on their finger before they almost immediately fly off and fall to the ground. After picking it up they almost try again before deciding against it and handing the handcuffs to one of the other gang members.

"I'm going to need you to cooperate with my friend here. We're doing something special tonight, and it needs a helping hand from each of you."

trolljacksparrow

"Why, can't you...HANDle it yourself? You know it'll just get out of hand otherwise." You hate yourself sometimes, you really do.

It could be worse, they could be competent.

However, incompetent as they are, you are Not going along for the ride. They've been haranguing you and your friend for DAYS! You're not giving them an inch! So instead, you muster up a defensive snarl. Its difficult to be mad at them, considering how pathetic they are, but you try to think about how awful your hair looks after a week of neglect anx that gives you the Power necessary to access your battle face.

You jab a clawed finger in their general direction, fins flaring. "Listen....fuck you." Okay, try again.

You put up your dukes and bare your impressively large teeth. "Do you think we'll just hand ourselves over? Hell no! Come get some, motherfucker." Yeah the cmere  finger gesture is happening. Yeah.

necroticarachnidism

You also hate him sometimes, the puns get him a light smack on the arm. The gang seems rather happy about him playing along, though, because of course they are.

Which is then immediately squandered by his attempts to stand up to them. The one with the handcuffs growls a little and takes a step foward before being stopped by the leader.

"Listen," they say, rather flatly "we can do thi-"

"The easy way or the hard way, yes," you interject. "He's picking the hard one, please do continue."

They sigh at you, you sigh back louder, they sigh again and don't stop their associate from creeping closer as they try to engage Dualscar in a hissy match. The leader then makes a solid attempt at fishing their keys out menacingly.

"I'd prefer this not get violent, but if you really insist..."

caepaecaesurae

The tension was somehow starting to mount, despite the competence of half those involved, and threat hung in the air for nearly a second and a half before someone's phone rang.  It was tinny the first time, soft, as if just as uncertain as their captors, but quickly gained in confidence.  There was just enough time to momentarily doubt whether they had heard correctly when it called out again, more firmly, a second or two later.

Someone was definitely calling one of them, and it sounded suspiciously like the default ringtone of a popular chat program.  ...but where was it COMING from?

trolljacksparrow

Waitwaitwait theyre ACTUALLY gonna fight you??? Ohhhhohohoh fuck yesss you're gonna do ART THERAPY with their insides when---

You just look around in disbelief. After all, it cant be you.

"We're having this showdown type thing, and your phone is ringing? How are you that bad at paying attention and looking proper intimidating? What's next, I find out you had another nemesis on the side?? I'm almost hurt - and you wonder why im not going along with this? For all I know youll mistake our legs for arms and tie our feet together!" Cross your arms, huff, tut tut maybe.

......Remember what you were doing and uncross them, going back to posturing. "Anyway, violence for the violentblood - and honestly, do you really think you can take me? "

caepaecaesurae

Ring...    ...was it off to Nadaya's left?

necroticarachnidism

As the ringing started the leader immediately turned to the member of the group who hadn't been part of this incident with a very accusing look. Said member simply gestured to their form-fitting and clearly pocket-less outfit, then to the one with the handcuffs. The one with the handcuffs almost said something, then was immediately interrupted by Dualscar's monologue.

That pissed them off.

"I don't have a fucking phone! None of us having a fucking phone, holy shit, the only thing I have-" They trail off, realizing that they do in fact have something and pulling it out. It's some kind of gun, loaded with a vial. "The only thing I have is this! To drug your dumb ass again!"

"We're a real knockout with drugs." adds the catsuit one.

That was true, at least by comparison to everything else. Not only had they managed to drag you here in the first place but they had their hands on something that could fuck with your mind control. It was the one of the few things they'd actually pulled off.

Meanwhile, to Nadaya's left, the ringing sounds distinctly like it's off to your right. But they took your items, so if it's not them then...? You take a curious step closer and look intently at the area it sounds like it's coming from.

caepaecaesurae

Nadaya's claws tingled faintly, the fourth time it rang, on just his left hand.  Why was the ringing coming from so close by?  It seemed to be following the tips of his fingers, especially the thumb and little finger claws.

trolljacksparrow

Okay okay wow you are going to MURD--what. "Okay a real knockout with the drugs being plural is a bad pun since youre the only one vaguely knockouty and also quit it with the drugs okay what the fuck," you trail off just staring into your hand, and bringing it up to your face, digits with tingling sensations first. "What the fuck," indeed.

caepaecaesurae

His hand rang at him, right in his face, very distinctly.

trolljacksparrow

.........You make a phone gesture with the fingers. "What??????"

caepaecaesurae

There was a soft audible click, and a deep, familiar voice answered in a wry, almost affectionate tone.  "WVhere are you?"

necroticarachnidism

Catsuit winked at the half compliment but this was quickly overshadowed by...whatever was happening.

You personally were looking at this with clear curiosity instead of pure what the actual fuck.

trolljacksparrow

Okay, its. Sounding like your kismesis. Your magic, hope god kismesis. Oh, thank god, you're not losing your mind.

"Caesurae?? Honey is that you?? Gotta hand it to you, this is a brilliant way of contacting me," At this point, though, you were really looking forward to beating people up!

"Gimme two secs I'm gonna kick some ass first," and you deathgrin at your enemies, still talking in your hand.

caepaecaesurae

"Brilliance is one of my better traits," the voice agreed humbly.  "If you're sure, dear, I can call back in a fewv minutes, just wvanted to hear your vwoice."

Apparently the magic hand might actually let Nadaya handle this on his own if no one interjected.

necroticarachnidism

Nadaya's opponent is more baffled than enraged right now, but starts approaching the cell again when ass kicking is mentioned.

You are having none of that.

"Okay, pardon me, but I am not going to let you hang up on your fucking magic kismesis so this idiot can try to stab you."

caepaecaesurae

"Oh, hello!  Say, can you pass her the phone?"

trolljacksparrow

"Okay thats....fair enough I guess? I mean he wouldn't succeed, but, yeah. Can yall hold on on the death maze bullshit for a moment? Trés bitchinnnn'," and you pass Mindfang the....hand. You put her hand to her face.

caepaecaesurae

At some moment during the awkward fumbling, his claws would stop tingling and hers would start.

necroticarachnidism

There's almost a protest at Nadaya putting your hand to your face but you know what, you can't think of a reason for that not to work, it might as well, this is fine. Copy the phone gesture Nadaya was making.

"Caesurae, please tell me you have something planned, nobody else here does."

caepaecaesurae

"I wvas hoping to figure out wvhat wvas going on wvith you twvo, and if you needed a ride back."

trolljacksparrow

You can't help the smile on your face, you spent a week being unable to contact anyone and you miiiissed theeeeemmm... "We're starring in saw for idiots!" You add, hopefully loud enough to be heard.

necroticarachnidism

"We've been kidnapped and harrassed by mororns. Nadaya is apparently fine here fighting them but I'd quite like a way out."

That gets the group responsible looking around. Was...something going to happen?

caepaecaesurae

"Alright my dear.  I'd like you to try to accept a vwideo call, so I can send you something.  I'm sending the request nowv."

"Just... do your best."

trolljacksparrow

"You can teleport wwhy cant you just send us a phone, " This is getting Ridiculous.

necroticarachnidism

The word 'teleport' only makes the kidnappers more antsy. Meanwhile you...try your best. You make a rectangle with your hands.

caepaecaesurae

The rectangle filled with moving light!  There sure was a giant, slightly relieved looking Ampora sitting in a nice-ish livingroom.  He gave her a smile, adjusted something out of frame, and said -- "--There, I'vwe got wvhat I need."  He took a step back, produced a portable one-use transport pad, and spun it in his hands once, and then looked back towards her with a peculiar look of concentration...

...and it disappeared, and reappeared on the floor at her feet.

"--Dearest, I promise, there's a method here."

trolljacksparrow

"....You beautiful, angelic man you." Holy. Fuck. You offer Mindfang the crook of your arm like a gentleman or some shit, fins and ears perked up. "And you lot " with a menacing look at the assorted kidnappers, "better never brighten our nights again."

necroticarachnidism

Make sure the transportalizer is armed, and then absolutely take that arm, you are now the picture of elegance (minus all the appearance neglect).

After a moment the kidnappers try to scramble for the door, fumbling with the keys, but nowhere near fast enough to catch the two of you before you port away to...wherever this will take you.

caepaecaesurae

Mindfang and Dualscar are whisked away to Nadaya's ship -- and then the device they just left explodes behind them in a colorful fireball.  It might be enough to knock the saw wanna-be's off their feet, but probably not injure any of them unless they use the wrong hair products and are slow to put it out.

The moment her hands parted, Caesurae lost his connection to the video call -- but he scratched his chin, considered, and gave it a few long seconds.

...then Nadaya's pants rang.  If Nadaya swatted at his beltline to refuse the call, he'd laugh and consider it good.

trolljacksparrow

"Absolutely fucking not. I fucking hate him. Are you hearing this shit Sicari? I truly hate him."

You swat at your belt like your pants are on fire!

"Also hey Mindfang if you wanna like....use the bath here or sleep or whatever go ahead its all good - I'm gonna go....cling to him gleefully, honestly." You just. You are just Attention Starved by now.

necroticarachnidism

Rather undignified giggling at the swatting. Amporas.

"I think I'll take you up on that. I might drop by in a few hours to thank Caesurae personally, since it sounds like he'll be here for a while."

caepaecaesurae

The pants obediently stopped ringing when Nadaya refused the call.  Caesurae would be more than happy to apply attention to his missing and beloved quadmate, and to meet with Mindfang later.

trolljacksparrow

"Hey now," he couldnt contest that though. "Hey...now...listen." yeah. Yyyeaaah. Yeah, Nad's gonna dissappear to his quarters for a change of clothes at the least, and transportalize over to be very grateful and very tired at Caesurae - adrenaline barely let him sleep - but mostly just to be delighted and cuddle him.

caepaecaesurae

Caesurae missed him, and is glad he's back, and will happily cuddle him through a nap.

trolljacksparrow

The most affectionate nap. The most.

[sweetlifetownsville]

Doing A Little With A Lot: Move Over Jesus, Your Loaves And Fishes Stunt Ain't In It Against The Townsville Bulletin.

The good old Astonisher showed its going to be more of the same in 2019, sleight of hand, selective reporting and all manner of insulting idiocy same old, same including a spectacular miss this weekend not a word about one of Townsville most long standing favourite eateries bites the dust Michels On Palmer Street is no more. Bancroft boo-boo Channel 7 embraces fake news: so lacking in a sense of the ridiculous, theyre about to disappear up their own ummm kazoo. And the President turns on the pester-power: Trump throws the biggest and longest tanty in living memory ruining the holiday season for thousands of his own people. But first For those many people who have been inquiring about Mark Donnellys funeral in Cairns, it will be at 2pm Wednesday Jan 9th, at St Francis Church, Mayer Street, Cairns. Vale, mate Moving On Its climate change on Bentleys mind. Our toonist is originally a Croweater from Adelaide, and he was amazed to see the jam packed crowds on Adelaide beaches in a TV report about the ghastly weather theyre having over there. The Pie also recalls that during his time in the City of Churches, beach-going was an occasional thing and attracted only sparse crowds to the sandy shores. But Bentley believes climate change is rapidly altering time honoured Aussie pastimes, and soon, getting an all-over tan will be a thing of the past.

Speaking of Things Of The Past

This now sadly includes the much loved Michels restaurant in Palmer Street, which served its last mean on December 22nd. This is how the unexpected news was broken on FB.

It will be sorely missed by many, including The Pie, who just hung out for the lunch-time beef and burgundy pie. Ironic that the one time our local paper had the opportunity to use the word iconic almost correctly, it has completely missed this information which would be of far more interest than the iconic Sizzlers leaving town. (More on that shortly). Well That Didnt Take Long Did It? The Townsville Bulletin set the tone for the year on the very first day of 2019, Tuesday January 1, with a rib-tickling own goal with this front page.

Wow, all those people turning up for a pic, where did they all come from? Well, at least half of them from nowhere. Heres how this little piece of patronizing chicanery went down. First, a couple of weeks ago, this appeared on the Astonishers FB page.

Boy, be on the front page! And didnt that get them flocking in for their 15 minutes of fame not. Just 41 people made themselves available, including the Cowboys mascot and as many of the Bulletins staff who could be spared to avoid the embarrassment of attracting almost bugger interest.

Then the front page appeared, a cheesy tedious old trope of people spelling out the year. Many people more than 41, it would seem. But hang on, lets have a closer look.

Whats all this? This is what all this is.

fair to say that all those excited people were beside themselves behind themselves, and then in front of themselves. Now a while back, the flagship of News Corpse tabloids, Sydneys Daily Telegraph got a clip arround its corporate ears for photo-shopping pics of politicians in unflattering historical situations. As if we needed to be told that Kevin Rudd was a nazi! Pretending to be chastised, management decreed that in future, just so no one was misled, all photoshopped images in all News publications would carry the legend digitally altered.Someone at the Astonisher overlooked this, clearly wishing the few readers it has left would believe it was so widely popular that it had attracted a throng of NY well-wishers. but it seems someone suddenly realised that some arsesole like The Magpie maybe would tumble to the lie, so thinking they could squirm out of it, they really blew their foot off by belatedly posting this on their FB page. The Pie has asked before, and now asks again are they all bloody drunk down there? BTW, the relevant FB page is said to have attracted 4500 views which at a guess that would be comprised of 4458 editorial and advertising staff and their family and friends frantically revisiting the FB as often as they could. At least that was the drill when The Pie was taking Ruperts shilling. But Wait, Theres More The firsts for the year kept coming thick and fast. This story had people wondering if the paper had a cut-price Tardis operating

and that resulted in the first correction of the year.

Although it is quite possible that Messagebank Walker, send out last years media release, and true to form, the reporter just wrote it up with a thought of what it was actually saying. f they would know the difference. Another media release that went into the paper untouched and of course unquestioned could have been headlined Mission Impossible.

Hahahahaah gasp snurffle dont you just love the combination of casual impertinence and immeasurable benchmark of making Townsville Australias first mentally healthy city. This is pure Labor crackpottery at its best, and a great excuse to wring out a few more public dollars for pointless jobs for the boys and girls. Mentally healthy City steering committee? National leader in this field? Pray tell, just how is this going to be measured oh, wait, I know soon it will be announced that we have achieved the title of Australias mentally healthiest city, but we cant be told why or any details because of both privacy and Commercial in Confidence reasons. What an out and out rort. The Townsville City Council has no business stumping up a single cent for this totally obscure nonsense. And youve just gotta love that this call for a mentally healthy city is coming from one of the greatest rates-gouging, anxiety-creating, booze-binge inducing ineptocracies of posturing inadequates one couldnt create as fiction.

And all publicised in a paper that has long abrogated its traditional responsibilities in the interests bargain-basement kiddy journalism and a quick advertising quid (and hows that working for you, eh?) Yet Another Jarring Juxtaposition And it would appear that either no one checks advertising content against news content to avoid this sort of blundering idiocy.

But never mind, iditor Jenna Cairney knows how to thunder away about the really important issues affecting us during the week, it was oh, dear it was people who oh, The Pie cannot bear to utter the words, read it for yourself.

Now normally, itd be kind to let this slide, but its hard to ignore when the iditorial completely contradicts its own ramblings by actually quoting one of the few believable people who work for the paper, fisherman Eddie Riddle, who said sometimes, believe it nor not, people just catch no crabs. Crab pot theft happens less than people would have you believe.Clearly those people who would have you believe that it is rife include the iditor and the beat-up reporter of the original story. Then There Is This From comments during the week. The Magpie From the alleged files: THE TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN ALLEGEDLY ACCUSES THE POLICE OF PLANTING EVIDENCE.

So they allegedly found a shotgun, unequivocally meaning there is some doubt in terms of English, the paper means the cops could be lying and they didnt find a shotgun or else, leaving open the possibility that they planted it there and didnt find it. FFS they either did or did not find a shotgun, and if it comes down to who to believe the Bulletin or the police its no contest. The coppers should complain. And anyway, saying they found the weapon is not legally dangerous and so attract an allegedly , since no names or details of the arrested man are published. During the coming year, The Pie will be running an alleged file from the Astonisher, along with an iconic file the paper has already made a sterling start on that one. This from comments on Friday. The Magpie January 4, 2019 at 11:24 am(Edit) Had a bit of an amused warble and added this to The Pies iconic list.

Iconic is something that is immediately recognisable, usually unique, and with which one readily associates with a name, place or occupation. The Eiffel Tower is iconic, as is the Statue of Liberty, Big Ben, the Kabba in Mecca, the Golden gate Bridge, and closer to home, the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Now alas with this local departure, down south, all the front bar chat and dinner party braying will be along the lines of Townsville? Wasnt that the Sizzler place until a while back? Oh, the shame. Keeping an eye on legendary, too. A Bigger Laugh From The Big Bash Crickets bumbling sandpaper cheat Cameron Bancroft returned to the crease this week in the Big Bash league, and the commentators were so busy tip-toeing around that elephant in the room, they managed to miss a wonderful howler made by their producer.

The commentators, all ex-sporting boofs, so not much could be expected of them, unquestioningly rabbited on about Bancrofts personal attainments, especially that last one. Returned to Tame Impala as their kazoo player? They didn;t dare question the truth of the matter, but they did have a rare old yukity-yuk about it. The producer had unwittingly copied and pasted this bit of nonsense lifted from a story that was doing the rounds, and had originated guess where? The Betoota Advocate, Australias funniest satirical paper. And for the record, Bancroft has never been in the band Tame Impaler, which has never featured a kazoo player anyway. The Pie is wondering, given Bancrofts infamous South African venture, if Bunnings might not offer sponsorship. And Now Off To The Week In Trumpistan and its wall-eyed child President.

. Thats it forn this week, and the silly season is coming to a close (not that you could tell at any time from our august organ of Flinders Street West), and some very interesting snippets have been dropping into the Nest for future examination. Wer will start on them next wee, but comments are running around the clock, so have your say. And any support by way of donation for the efforts over the coming year will as always be greatly appreciated. He how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/doing-a-little-with-a-lot-move-over-jesus-your-loaves-and-fishes-stunt-aint-in-it-against-the-townsville-bulletin/

[s-nnyd]

all of the ask me meme :) please stop talking about naruto

i think that was this one?

rose: what makes you feel beautiful?

man, hmm, when my hair falls just right and it looks like the hairstyle that could be used in like a romcom drama oh or when the sun starts to set because everythign just starts to feel like the right color and it makes it just about everything right

lace: how would you describe your best friend(s)?

complete idiots i love hanging out with

wish: what are your favourite memories?

oh fuck dude my favorite memories? okay so back in middle school when there was the open house and i signed up for one of the shifts i just stayed in ms. dean’s room and like it was raining and pouring and i was just kinda fooling around with some friends before our shifts started and like we ordered pizza and my goodness it was cold and wet as fuck but it was such a genuinely nice memory of just the feeling during that time also when were painting murals for  art ds like shit man that was like the time of my life and i genuinely get all these heartfelt feelings each time i think about it (oh oh oh oh and like mrs q said that like shes trying to make things work with walker about doing a mural inside the class and im like holy fuck please like im legit gonna cry if that happens) and although its super embarrassing just like all the times ive ever really had talks and hung out with mrs q like they were genuinely nice memories and esp friday too like she told me stories about the previous schools she went to and the types of students she had and i love hearing stuff like that and yesterday was truly enjoyable

heaven: describe your ideal date

hhhhhhhh okay okay okay okay so its raining out but we still were supposed to meet up and im standing outside with a cup of hot choco with extra whip cream just the way she likes it cause i wanted to get it for her and when she comes to meet me she also has a cup of hot choco with extra cocoa for me and its just the kinda heart and chest swelling kinda moment cause we both were thinking about each other and then we head over to watch the movies first something stupid yet enjoyable and after going to have some lunch at like a really good tofu house and then after going to an art museum and then ill say somethign cheesy like man im surprised you dont live here ‘why?’ cause youre a work of art  or you know whats the most beautiful piece of art out of this whole exhibit ‘ooo was it the ______ or the _____ one or maybe its the ______?” nah its you and thats the main commentary im making through out the whole exhibition and like after that we head over to my place and the rains still coming down my head on her lap and her fingers through my hair as watch a movie both of us has seen far too many times already that it this point its just for the sake of background noise and like we swap spots where shes on my lap now adn eventually she falls asleep i carry her to the bed and let her nap for a bit and she wakes up after a while and comes into the kitchen and im cooking fried rice at like 3 in the morning and its just lazy hugs and bad singing but all in all its just relaxing soothing loving and everything i really want

angel: what is your dream aesthetic?

oh man like okay have you seen that godzilla jacket that was floating around on tumblr for a while like like that specific aesthetic where its super cool stitching and japanese words that i can actually read for once OH OH OH or like just absolute artist like just paint splatters and charcoal and pastel that wont wash out and jean jackets with patches and just yeeeeeee

wings: list five things you love about yourself

hmmm i think my determination to always be improving, my loyalty, my ability to think from multiple angles of a situation, my creativity and the multitude of ideas that come as a result of it , and mmm prolly the fact that when i love someone or got a crush like more than anything id love to give them the absolute most like id give them the world if i could if it would make them happy and like they dont gotta accept my feelings or anything but jsut please dont reject my gifts like i just want you to be happy and i wanna see you smile and laugh and like even if this aint gonna turn anything im glad i got to love you and have this experience

marble: what do you look for in a partner?

oh man okay so like ive noticed that every single person ive ever had a crush on like  i dont necessarily got a type in the sense of like looks or anything like that cause they all look super different and there is no one “type” but like its a lot closer to a “type” as in a type of person like someone whos generally super open minded and caring and gentle someone who even though they dont believe so theyre changing and helping so so so so many people around them someone who has the best laugh that id do anything to hear and the prettiest eyes and the most amazing smile that id truly do anythign to see someone whos usually loved by many but even in close relations theyre extremely close heart to heart and very attentive someone whos got a great head on their shoulders and the mindset to keep moving forward and improve someone who rlly pushes the idea communication, trust, and honesty and like man theyre people with the most beautiful minds and hearts and like it ends up being a case where theyve got the most beautiful face too

velvet: describe your dream home

oh fuck dude i couldnt even talk about this for my project for japanese i cant do it here

pearl: what is your favourite: scent, flavour, sound, texture?

shit dude ive really gotta say that my favorite scent is prolly the art and the ceramics room like really its super calming my fave flavor would maybe be honey? (i just had a honey stick rn so) my favorite sound is the sound of my crush’s voice and laugh, fave texture has def gotta be my paint like fuck i love sticking my hand in that shit

sunlight: list five things you find to be beautiful

link, zelda, my crush, the specific color of cerulean blue, okay and oddly enough that scar thats on my leg from when i fell off my skateboard

cherry: what words of advice would you give to a stranger?

if you think someone’s got a cool shirt, pretty eyes, a nice laugh, the cutest button nose, a soothing voice, or is just in general attractive to you, just tell them like the smile on their face is worth a whole lot and i promise you that it could make their day

blush: describe your ideal future

oh fuck okay so its one where i got a like four big dogs (cause these are my faves), a samoyed a husky a german shepard and a pit bull, and im living in a nice decent place with my loved one i have a job either at one of the major animation studios or im working with a huge game company (preferably Nintendo so i can work on some loz games) and ive also got a seperate place thats a block or two away from my home and its my own personal studio a place that is just a whole floor dedicated to working on my art whether it be two dimensional traditional or digital and i also got a throwing wheel and a place to put my ceramics and ive made some movies and games that ive dedicated to mrs q and mrs y because theyve brought me so far in my art career and also played such a big role in my life in general and id love to make them proud and like honestly that soudns like the absolute shit to me

sea: what music, art and/or literature brings you peace?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man just seein loz fanart is the best but also like fuck dude like mmmmm when i see an art style i really love that has literally the best fuckign composition and color usage like fuck thats my shit like theres some specific ones that i dont know how to describe

wine: talk about something you are looking forward to

working on that mural if mrs q can make it through cause that is legit what i really wanna do like i fucking love working on murals oh oh oh also when we can finally order the new j shirts cause i finished the design and i really wanna see everyone wearing them im really proud of this year’s design aalsososoooooooo like im really excited to work on the next project for ceramics like were makign slab boxes and we can basically tell a story and do whatever the fuck we want with it and man im just so excited for that (wow i legit realized that like everything ive listed that is part of my dream or makes me excited or happy is like art related like wow)

honey: what do you do to relax?

i watch shitposts oh that or i talk to my cousin lynnette cause really shes super understanding and its really easy to talk to her

silk: describe your most recent dream

man i forgot the bulk of it but i think like it was one where i didnt finish my charcoal portrait or my coil pot in time and then i woke up in a cold sweat

matte: what is something you are proud of?

hmmmm at current im proud of the presents i gave to mrs y and mrs q cause it made the both of them really happy and like i really wanted to show them how thankful i am to them and like they genuinely liked the posters and the flowers

gloss: list ten songs you love right now

lmao shit uh

feelings - hayley kiyoko

maple - hayley kiyoko

redbone - childish gambino

forrest gump - frank ocean

shes so mean - matchbox twenty

perfect - ed sheeran

and legit just like all of the soundtracks for all the loz games

satin: what never fails to make you happy?

oh oh oh oh oh when i give a present to my crush or i do something nice for them and they just give me the biggest smile or the best laugh ive ever heard and theres just the crinkle at the corners of their eyes from smilign so hard and because theyre trying so hard to keep eye contact with me while but theyre laughing really hard and they can only keep one eye open and like just the genuineness of joy and all

opal: talk about your interests and passions

hhhhhhhh dude dude like mannnnnn like hhhhhh okay imma talk about loz for a sec and like i know i brought it up before but i love like so much okay like oot was my first time playing time playing any loz game and my lord it was the shit like the storyline the characters the graphics the sound track the quests and side characters liek everything really made it feel like so much mroe and like i feel so much for it like heres link growing up and hes like what around ten or so and hes got some friends and he finally gets his fairy and then his tree dad goes and dies right after telling him lmao sorry but you kinda gotta save the kingdom k bye and like this kid this kid literally knows jack shit about anything but he goes on and does it anyways he goes and helps zelda he goes and helps the people who are in trouble along the way and plays some rad ass tunes on his tiny lil ocarina of time while doing it and like even when he gets put into the future like he sitll has the mindset of a ten year old hes still as innocent and earnest and pure hearted as when he first started and like holy fuck dont get me started on sheik like shit sheik is so damn cool and like knowing that it was zelda all that time like fuck yeah zelda can kick ass fuck yeah zelda got muscles for days fuck yeah she can punt you across the kingdom and like at the end when she thanks him and sends him back and time so he can enjoy the lost time like shit dude i know zelda meant well and all but like hes experienced so much with and for her hes done so much give the kid a break and then even then navi in the end like leaves and then eveything continues in majoras mask and again hes in his ten year old body but now wiht the experiences and knowledge and basically memories from being seventeen like hes got so much mroe than what his body and mind should handle at this point and he wanders into the forest again all in search for an old friend to look for navi and like when he gets sent to termina after trying to chase after skull kid and like havign those nightmares witht he scrubs like hes gone through so much and i only want more for him and like he doesnt have to save termina he doesnt he doesnt need to do anything he can let termina get smooshed to smitherins by the moon for all the work hes already done for hyrule but he does it anyway and he rewinds time again and again and again and again so he can fix all of these problems for all of these people he does all of this to bring some sort of proper ending for these people who have the last three days of their lives the last three days before their deaths repeat over and over and over and over and over again and he saves them each and every time he rewinds time and he goes through all this shit i mean this ten year old mother fucker is doing olympic bakc flips and twirls and shit after oot like shit boi and then like oh myy gooddddd like damn botw like fuck dude that game means a whole lot to me like its lacking a lil bit in the presence of an evil and i mena i know its ganon and all but like shit i could ignore that motherfucker for all eternity if he wasnt being such a total asshat to zelda and like i mainly beat that motherfucker up just for zelda like for once in a game ive never wanted more to save her like they went so much into detail abotu her and like dude those memories thos cutscenes? like that shit made everythign and i truly love her she works so hard and shes held up to this image of being extremely spiritiually adept because of all her ancestors ebcause of all the other zeldas but she jsut cant she jsut cant do the same thing and so she tries in other ways she tries to udnerstand and get a grasp on sheikah and ancient tech so she can at least be prepared to stand against the calamity when it does come and like the champions all worry about her like the girl nearly got herself killed in the process of trying to awaken her so called spiritual powers and like dude finding out that in the beginning zelda legit hated links ass like they put so much mroe into her like she she hated seeing that he was a prodigy that he didnt have a single trouble in the world and then finally link speaks up and he tells her he talks to her about why he keeps quiet and like the two finally bond and like the two dorks love each other so much that it really does go beyond friendship and romance like they legit would die for each other that one time that zelda was this fucking close to getting her ass handed to her on a silver platter and link was beat the fuck up like he went to save her and then the time when link was basically on his death bed and a guardian was about to pulverize him zelda stood between him and the guardian this bitch wasnt even thinking about having her spiritual powers she was legit ready to die for him if it meant he could run away and get to safety and i mean luckily she her spiritual powers did come out but she legit realized it when she was so genuinely scared but chose to stand up cause she cared for him so much and like these two kids fight so much and have gone through a lot both on their own times and also together but like i love them so much no matter what timeline theyre in

kiss: what do you want from life right now?

my lord i want life to point me in the right direction tbqh or at least give me a mentor for some help like please ive been guiding and doing everything myself this whole time give me a break like after reading all the stories for lang and lit like it makes me feel so lost in what im doing like after catcher in the rye and playing the role of holden caulfield and denying that i fit any part of the role and then realizing how similar i was to him and then reading death of a salesman and relating to biff and reading raisin in the sun and relating to beneatha like shit i really felt lost like ive been talking about it with my therapist lately and like yeah i think i really need some direction or reassurance or a mentor or at least something in my life thats consistent cause right now im a complete mess

[sweetlifetownsville]

Doing A Little With A Lot: Move Over Jesus, Your Loaves And Fishes Stunt Ain't In It Against The Townsville Bulletin.

The good old Astonisher showed its going to be more of the same in 2019, sleight of hand, selective reporting and all manner of insulting idiocy same old, same including a spectacular miss this weekend not a word about one of Townsville most long standing favourite eateries bites the dust Michels On Palmer Street is no more. Bancroft boo-boo Channel 7 embraces fake news: so lacking in a sense of the ridiculous, theyre about to disappear up their own ummm kazoo. And the President turns on the pester-power: Trump throws the biggest and longest tanty in living memory ruining the holiday season for thousands of his own people. But first For those many people who have been inquiring about Mark Donnellys funeral in Cairns, it will be at 2pm Wednesday Jan 9th, at St Francis Church, Mayer Street, Cairns. Vale, mate Moving On Its climate change on Bentleys mind. Our toonist is originally a Croweater from Adelaide, and he was amazed to see the jam packed crowds on Adelaide beaches in a TV report about the ghastly weather theyre having over there. The Pie also recalls that during his time in the City of Churches, beach-going was an occasional thing and attracted only sparse crowds to the sandy shores. But Bentley believes climate change is rapidly altering time honoured Aussie pastimes, and soon, getting an all-over tan will be a thing of the past.

Speaking of Things Of The Past

This now sadly includes the much loved Michels restaurant in Palmer Street, which served its last mean on December 22nd. This is how the unexpected news was broken on FB.

It will be sorely missed by many, including The Pie, who just hung out for the lunch-time beef and burgundy pie. Ironic that the one time our local paper had the opportunity to use the word iconic almost correctly, it has completely missed this information which would be of far more interest than the iconic Sizzlers leaving town. (More on that shortly). Well That Didnt Take Long Did It? The Townsville Bulletin set the tone for the year on the very first day of 2019, Tuesday January 1, with a rib-tickling own goal with this front page.

Wow, all those people turning up for a pic, where did they all come from? Well, at least half of them from nowhere. Heres how this little piece of patronizing chicanery went down. First, a couple of weeks ago, this appeared on the Astonishers FB page.

Boy, be on the front page! And didnt that get them flocking in for their 15 minutes of fame not. Just 41 people made themselves available, including the Cowboys mascot and as many of the Bulletins staff who could be spared to avoid the embarrassment of attracting almost bugger interest.

Then the front page appeared, a cheesy tedious old trope of people spelling out the year. Many people more than 41, it would seem. But hang on, lets have a closer look.

Whats all this? This is what all this is.

fair to say that all those excited people were beside themselves behind themselves, and then in front of themselves. Now a while back, the flagship of News Corpse tabloids, Sydneys Daily Telegraph got a clip arround its corporate ears for photo-shopping pics of politicians in unflattering historical situations. As if we needed to be told that Kevin Rudd was a nazi! Pretending to be chastised, management decreed that in future, just so no one was misled, all photoshopped images in all News publications would carry the legend digitally altered.Someone at the Astonisher overlooked this, clearly wishing the few readers it has left would believe it was so widely popular that it had attracted a throng of NY well-wishers. but it seems someone suddenly realised that some arsesole like The Magpie maybe would tumble to the lie, so thinking they could squirm out of it, they really blew their foot off by belatedly posting this on their FB page. The Pie has asked before, and now asks again are they all bloody drunk down there? BTW, the relevant FB page is said to have attracted 4500 views which at a guess that would be comprised of 4458 editorial and advertising staff and their family and friends frantically revisiting the FB as often as they could. At least that was the drill when The Pie was taking Ruperts shilling. But Wait, Theres More The firsts for the year kept coming thick and fast. This story had people wondering if the paper had a cut-price Tardis operating

and that resulted in the first correction of the year.

Although it is quite possible that Messagebank Walker, send out last years media release, and true to form, the reporter just wrote it up with a thought of what it was actually saying. f they would know the difference. Another media release that went into the paper untouched and of course unquestioned could have been headlined Mission Impossible.

Hahahahaah gasp snurffle dont you just love the combination of casual impertinence and immeasurable benchmark of making Townsville Australias first mentally healthy city. This is pure Labor crackpottery at its best, and a great excuse to wring out a few more public dollars for pointless jobs for the boys and girls. Mentally healthy City steering committee? National leader in this field? Pray tell, just how is this going to be measured oh, wait, I know soon it will be announced that we have achieved the title of Australias mentally healthiest city, but we cant be told why or any details because of both privacy and Commercial in Confidence reasons. What an out and out rort. The Townsville City Council has no business stumping up a single cent for this totally obscure nonsense. And youve just gotta love that this call for a mentally healthy city is coming from one of the greatest rates-gouging, anxiety-creating, booze-binge inducing ineptocracies of posturing inadequates one couldnt create as fiction.

And all publicised in a paper that has long abrogated its traditional responsibilities in the interests bargain-basement kiddy journalism and a quick advertising quid (and hows that working for you, eh?) Yet Another Jarring Juxtaposition And it would appear that either no one checks advertising content against news content to avoid this sort of blundering idiocy.

But never mind, iditor Jenna Cairney knows how to thunder away about the really important issues affecting us during the week, it was oh, dear it was people who oh, The Pie cannot bear to utter the words, read it for yourself.

Now normally, itd be kind to let this slide, but its hard to ignore when the iditorial completely contradicts its own ramblings by actually quoting one of the few believable people who work for the paper, fisherman Eddie Riddle, who said sometimes, believe it nor not, people just catch no crabs. Crab pot theft happens less than people would have you believe.Clearly those people who would have you believe that it is rife include the iditor and the beat-up reporter of the original story. Then There Is This From comments during the week. The Magpie From the alleged files: THE TOWNSVILLE BULLETIN ALLEGEDLY ACCUSES THE POLICE OF PLANTING EVIDENCE.

So they allegedly found a shotgun, unequivocally meaning there is some doubt in terms of English, the paper means the cops could be lying and they didnt find a shotgun or else, leaving open the possibility that they planted it there and didnt find it. FFS they either did or did not find a shotgun, and if it comes down to who to believe the Bulletin or the police its no contest. The coppers should complain. And anyway, saying they found the weapon is not legally dangerous and so attract an allegedly , since no names or details of the arrested man are published. During the coming year, The Pie will be running an alleged file from the Astonisher, along with an iconic file the paper has already made a sterling start on that one. This from comments on Friday. The Magpie January 4, 2019 at 11:24 am(Edit) Had a bit of an amused warble and added this to The Pies iconic list.

Iconic is something that is immediately recognisable, usually unique, and with which one readily associates with a name, place or occupation. The Eiffel Tower is iconic, as is the Statue of Liberty, Big Ben, the Kabba in Mecca, the Golden gate Bridge, and closer to home, the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Now alas with this local departure, down south, all the front bar chat and dinner party braying will be along the lines of Townsville? Wasnt that the Sizzler place until a while back? Oh, the shame. Keeping an eye on legendary, too. A Bigger Laugh From The Big Bash Crickets bumbling sandpaper cheat Cameron Bancroft returned to the crease this week in the Big Bash league, and the commentators were so busy tip-toeing around that elephant in the room, they managed to miss a wonderful howler made by their producer.

The commentators, all ex-sporting boofs, so not much could be expected of them, unquestioningly rabbited on about Bancrofts personal attainments, especially that last one. Returned to Tame Impala as their kazoo player? They didn;t dare question the truth of the matter, but they did have a rare old yukity-yuk about it. The producer had unwittingly copied and pasted this bit of nonsense lifted from a story that was doing the rounds, and had originated guess where? The Betoota Advocate, Australias funniest satirical paper. And for the record, Bancroft has never been in the band Tame Impaler, which has never featured a kazoo player anyway. The Pie is wondering, given Bancrofts infamous South African venture, if Bunnings might not offer sponsorship. And Now Off To The Week In Trumpistan and its wall-eyed child President.

. Thats it forn this week, and the silly season is coming to a close (not that you could tell at any time from our august organ of Flinders Street West), and some very interesting snippets have been dropping into the Nest for future examination. Wer will start on them next wee, but comments are running around the clock, so have your say. And any support by way of donation for the efforts over the coming year will as always be greatly appreciated. He how to donate button is below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/doing-a-little-with-a-lot-move-over-jesus-your-loaves-and-fishes-stunt-aint-in-it-against-the-townsville-bulletin/