#but then again i wouldn't even know where to start looking

[esotericbluntbaby]

compensation

hamzahthefantastic x reader

description: going against your wishes, your boyfriend decides to fight another match after spraining his wrist the last time he boxed. injured, he returns home to his girlfriend, who can't help but feel more than just "angry."

mentions: boxer!hamzah, bf!hamzah, angsttt, female reader, sub! hamzah, blood, bruises, nsfw!

GUYS IM SORRY I FORGOT TO POST THIS PLS DONT KILL ME

--

this was the first time that hamzah kept you in the dark, betraying your trust in him.

he was always a strong-willed, passionate boy; in fact, it was one of the things you found attractive in him. he kickstarted his youtube with his resilience and determination. giving up was simply not an option for him; one way or another, plan after plan, he'd get his goal even if it meant he had to cut off his limbs and sell them. if hamzah wanted something, he would get it, similar to a horse kicking whenever it's being restrained. though, normally, he knew when to stop pushing, especially when the cost was more than the benefit.

the last time hamzah boxed, his wrist fractured like a 6 year old cracks a wishbone. you, obviously, knew that getting hurt was apart of his hobby; you didn't like it, but you accepted that it was inevitable for some part of him to be banged up and broken. he allowed you to stay in the hospital with him during the time he was getting monitored, meaning that you were allowed to hear the doctor tell him that he had to wait 6 weeks to box again.

during the hospital visit, hamzah realized he had a match in exactly 5 weeks. you argued with him, telling him that there would be no way in hell that he'd be able to box until his wrist is fixed. of course, being as stubborn as a mule, hamzah argued back that he had to fight if his life depended on it. eventually, the night settled in as you laid in bed together that night, cuddling; he told you that you were right. reassuring you that he wouldn't be fighting, he kissed you goodnight. you thought you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

that was, until tonight, an hour after the match: when hamzah walked in the front door, bloody and bruised.

his eye began to swell, darkening around the indents of his skull. the black eye that adorned his face was accompanied by a deep gash that exposed the layer beneath his skin. he looked at you with guilt plastered in his banged up face, furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips being muted by the extent of his injuries. you didn't have to guess where he was: you felt betrayed by the fact that you knew exactly what he went out to do. alongside his injuries and deception, came a girlfriend who wasn't going to speak to him.

--

not a single word was said when you grabbed his other wrist and walked to the bathroom with him; the room was filled with silence and guilt radiating off of him. he was currently sitting on the toilet seat as you rummaged around the medicine cabinet for materials that would help you fix his wounds. though you were upset, you weren't going to leave him to tend to his own injuries; you were still his girlfriend, after all. sitting on the floor, you grabbed his wrist to check how worsened it became.

"baby-"

"no, hamzah."

from your previous arguments, you knew that hamzah has a habit of overloading you with pet names. he knew he fucked up; you know he fucked up. him starting his sentence with "baby" helped you realize that he knew he's in the doghouse.

taking the textured, cotton gauze, you began to wrap his wrist with a softness that foiled your emotions towards him. you felt his eyes trained on you like the aimbot of a video game; his gazed fixated on every single movement you made. he noticed the way that you still looked so pretty even when you were mad at him. the way your face looked, tensed and full of agitation, created a pool of guilt that he swam in. he hated making you upset, but he simply needed to box. it was passion. it was commitment. he had to do it; at least, that's what he was telling himself. however, no matter how much he told himself that he had to fight, he knew it was wrong of him to go against your wishes and back. he knew you wanted the best for him and his physical being.

"i'm sorry. i shouldn't have gone tonight. i was being stupid and i shouldn't have went behind your back like that."

you listened to him apologize, yet, didn't respond. in fact, you didn't even look at him. there was no acknowledgement of his apology; it was almost like it never even happened in the first place. he needed to know how truly upset you were. instead, you focused on wrapping his wrist with a second layer of gauze, to keep everything in place.

"baby, please. just talk to me- i don't care if you cuss me out or give me hell for betraying you like that, just- please talk to me," his mannerisms were tense and rushed, "how do i fix this? how do i get you to speak to me? i'll do anything- i swear- you want me to quit boxing completely? i will. you want me to do all the housework in this house? i will- i'll do every single chore. shit, if even just sitting in a corner for days with no food or water would get you to speak to me, i'd do that. please, baby- please."

you finished wrapping the gauze by the time he finished his speech about what he'd do to get you to speak to him. you began to touch his face, examining the bruise on his eye and cheekbone like a scientist looking through a microscope. suddenly, he grabbed you by the cheek, forcing you to look up at him.

"i'm sorry. please, just speak to me. i'll do anything. talk to me. i just wanna hear your voice."

listening to him yearn for your voice made you feel a certain type of way. yes, you were mad. however, in a way, this whole situation was turning you on. you hated to admit it, but your boyfriend looked attractive with a black eye and bruised cheekbone. the fact that he was begging for you to speak to him made the sexual tension you were feeling within you even worse. his submissive side was creating a potion of ecstasy in your stomach; you wanted to see how far he'd go.

you sighed, "i don't know anymore, hamzah. you told me you wouldn't. i trust you less."

"i know, pretty, i'm sorry. i'll earn it back, i promise. i shouldn't have gone tonight. i was being an idiot."

standing up as his face followed where your eyes were, you rubbed it against his open wound, earning a wince from him as he gripped onto your waist. butterflies emerged in your stomach, causing you to feel similar to how light a fairy is.

"thanks for the warning," he said with sarcasm and irritation laced in his voice, opening his eyes from the hard shut he indulged in

"you don't deserve one."

he pulled you onto his lap, causing you to straddle him on the toilet seat. taking your cheeks, he cupped your face in his hands and sighed. he looked at you with a level of submissiveness you haven't seen in him. normally, hamzah was the dominant one; yet, you didn't mind that the roles switched.

"what can i do to get you to not be mad at me?"

"i dunno. you're a smart boy," you grabbed his cheek and stroked it with your thumb, "figure it out, baby."

you saw a lightbulb flicker on in his eyes. he sensed the tension in the room wasn't only angry, but there was also sexual tension in its silver lining.

"you want me to make it up to you?"

you leaned towards his ear, now whispering, "how are you gonna do that, hamzah?"

you felt something poke at your ass from beneath you, a slight twitch emerging from it too. your words made him as hard as a rock.

that's so fucking hot.

"baby, i thought you were mad at me."

"oh, i am. trust me, i'm fucking pissed."

he kissed you on the cheek, "i'm sorry."

he kissed you on the jawline, "i'm sorry."

he kissed you on the lips, "i'm sorry."

moving down to your neck, he kissed it longer than the pecks he gave you previously. you felt a sucking motion, as well as his tongue swirling on your sweet spot, shortly after. your breath got heavier, almost as if your lungs were being weighed down by hot air. your lips parted as he sucked a dark spot onto your neck.

"i'm sorry, pretty girl. forgive me?"

"not yet."

his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "why not?"

"i need more than that."

"tell me what you need, pretty. i'll do it."

you leaned closer to his ear, kissing his neck and the area between, "you know what i want from you."

standing up from the toilet seat, your legs wrapped around his waist as he carried you to your bedroom. your lips began to intertwine with his as he walked through the hallway, your tongues melting together like two lollipops on a hot day. he laid you down on the bed, still kissing you with everything he had; he needs you to forgive him.

letting go of your lips, he moved closer to the edge of the bed, taking off your shorts and leaving you in your underwear. feeling exposed in front of hamzah was always nerveracking in your own way; however, this time it was different. you knew hamzah had to please you, leaving you with a newfound confidence.

"are you okay with this?" he asked, exhibiting a level of care that you were all too familiar with.

"do whatever you want to me, hamzah."

taking your underwear off, you were left laying on top of your sheets in a tank top. his arms wrapped around your legs like a snake to its prey, prying your legs apart with a sense of desperation.

"you're so pretty like this baby," he kissed the inner part of your thigh, "you're so fucking pretty."

he spit on the area between your legs, earning a subtle gasp from you. his tongue began to lap on you, dropping saliva on the area of you that was already wet. between your legs, you felt the roughness and neediness of his tongue. his hands squeezed your inner thighs as pleasure began to unravel the metaphoric yarn located in your stomach. hamzah was eating the fuck out of you, leading to your moans getting louder and louder with each and every movement his tongue created against you.

his tongue produced a dance that only the both of you would know. some parts were as fast as light, while other ones were full of yearning and slowness; he knew exactly how to balance it for you to feel the best that you could feel.

your hands made its way to his hair, "you're so pretty like this, hamzah. my boy- my pretty boy."

his movements got faster as his grip against your thighs tightened even more, as if you were going to fly away if he let go. similar to his hands, you squeezed his hair as his movements quickened in pace; you could feel the yarn unraveling like a rubber band about to snap.

"f-fuck- hamzah, i'm close-"

he kissed your core, before his tongue sped to a pace you haven't felt before. you watched him eat you out like there was no tomorrow, leaving loud moans echoing the room, before he felt you release into his mouth. kissing it once again, he looked up at you as his hands massaged the pillows that he was in between. you looked at each other with love while he watched your heavy breathing and fucked-out expression.

"forgive me?"

"i forgive you. please go box someone else, baby."

confusion was apparent in his face, "what?"

"you're so fucking hot when you're bruised and yearning."

--

author's note!

this is so short omfg i hate using anatomical words for smut LOL more coming soon!

[zarla-s]

i need to know more about your feelings of tf2 comic 7 because youre the heavymedic expert

I liked it! Satisfying happy conclusion for (almost) everyone, especially since I was a little worried they were going to kill everyone off, haha. Not a lot of Heavymedic stuff in there but I wasn't expecting much, and really it was about the Administrator and her story, so it makes sense the mercs wouldn't really take top billing for it.

There were a few cute things though! I know "standing next to each other" is like the most graspingest of straws but you know what, it made me smile each time so I don't care.

The big thing of course being Heavy grabbing his boob, which to me reads like him stopping Medic from trying to help the Admin, which I think is sweet in his own way. Medic has his healing instincts!

Medic also puts his hand on his back as they walk away, which I also think is sweet. It looks like he's comforting him.

I really loved the ending sequence where everyone gets together for that dinner party. It's just such a great bookend to how the comics started - initially when their team disbanded, everyone split off and did their own thing. Some of them didn't even keep track of where the others were! A few kept in contact, but mostly all of them just left the others and they didn't seem particularly concerned or interested in each other.

Compare that to them at the end of the comic! Seven years after everything that happened, they're all meeting up together for dinner! Voluntarily! They're introducing their families to each other! They don't have any contracts or jobs forcing them to spend time together. They WANT to have dinner together. SPY TAKES OFF HIS MASK AND IS FINE WITH IT! I just love that so much. They care about and trust each other after everything that's happened, all the years that have gone by. Team as family was CANON AFTER ALL

I think this whole sequence also sheds a nice light on Medic! Medic's been perceived as probably the most uncaring of the group, given that he did sign up with another team for the money and said he wouldn't mind fighting them again (although not too soon after that he ended up saving all their lives against direct orders). A lot of people interpreted that as him not really caring about the others or anything at all, but that's not the case!

Medic kept and raised his baboon baby! He didn't abandon it or use it for parts or anything, he kept and raised it for seven years! Responsibility!

Not only that, Medic hasn't abandoned his friends, signed up with a new team, forgotten them or tossed them aside. He's with them at the dinner! He comes with his baboon baby! He wants to be with them too! He cares about them, genuinely. And of course, the final shot is with him by Heavy's side, both of them just so happy to be there with everyone else.

Love that Medic's smile still looks unhinged too lol. Would I have loved Heavy holding onto Medic's waist? The two of them wearing matching rings? Of course! But them so close to each other and an obvious irrefutable confirmation that Medic loves and cares about his team and wants to be with them is really lovely. Makes me feel fuzzy, haha.

There's speculation too that Medic came with Heavy's family as that person in the back there but who can say for sure. |D

[cosmosluckycharms]

Bug like angel

Girl Afraid

May 12, XXXX

4:45 AM

"Shit," you think to yourself as you realize you're going to be late for school

Yes, your school usually doesn't start till 7 AM, but you have a field trip today, and the bus leaves at 5:30 AM.

"Ms.Rose is gonna kill me if I'm late again! Where did I put my bag? Where are my earbuds?" you whisper to no one in particular

You had a million thoughts running in your head, but one thing was sure, you were so late.

You still had to grab your phone, eat breakfast, put on your clothes, do your hair and makeup on the bus, and run towards the bus and then maybe you can make it in time.

You rush downstairs to get breakfast and realize you don't have to be as quiet because it's empty in the kitchen.

You quickly eat breakfast and finish your morning routine before making it out the door.

It's 5:43 when you make it onto the bus, Ms. Rose was waiting on you and thankfully didn't you much of a hard time.

"Ms.y/n, please be more considerate of others time next time."You sat down next to your "friends"

You don't fully consider them your friends, they're too full of themselves and you all know none of you guys are friends, just close acquaintances.

After finishing the coffee you brought onto the bus ride, doing your hair and makeup, and taking a quick nap while listening to music, you finally made it.

Alchemax.

You were excited for the trip, even asking Dick, Jason, and Bruce if they wanted to tag along as chaperones.

They said no, which you both understood and were also sad about but, whatever, who cares? Anyways- you're at the coolest place!

It's perfect for someone who wants an internship that would look great on your resume.

Why do you want that resume? You don't know. Maybe it's so you can impress your family? You aren't fully sure.

Before you question yourself further, you get off the bus, along with your schoolmates.

You hear them all chatting about whatever, but it's clear to everyone that you are the most excited to go on this trip.

You, who wouldn't shut up about it despite everyone at school and home telling you to. You, who kept bouncing off walls while talking about it. You, who constantly wrote about it in journals.

Nothing could stop your excitement, and that was clear to others.

While you were there, you were practically the only one participating.

The only one wasnt scared to ask questions.

The one that would ask questions for others who wouldn't.

You were sure that this was the best trip of your life! You were so interested in everything!

It wasn't until later in the day after you got home at 7:56 that you saw everyone in the dining room sitting together eating, like usual, without you.

Every time you saw them together your heart broke a little more.

You tried to not make a scene and just walk away quietly, and it worked!

With everyone but Alfred.

"And where have you been, young miss?" He asked in an authoritary tone.

"I've been on a field trip in Alchemax! I just got back! It was soo fun, why?" you asked, knowing what he was going to ask.

"Wouldn't you like to have dinner with the others?" it's clear he just wanted the others to notice you, he knew you've tried so hard to be with them.

"it's alright, Alfred. I grabbed lunch with my friends earlier, I'm still full!" you said enthusiastically. It wasnt a lie, afterwards you all went to your favorite fast food place, batburger. You're sure theres no better fast food place than batburger.

"Oh, that's quite alright then." as soon as he said that you went upstairs to get unready and unpack for the day. you didnt notice Jasons slight dissapointment on his face when you refused and walked away.

It's good that it was a Friday, you could rest tomorrow.

You didn't notice how you accidentally took Project 111 with you. Mustve sneaken in your bag while you went to the bathroom while at Alchemax.

It took you a while to open your bag due to you getting ready for bed, and you screamed when you saw a spider in your bag and crawling onto your hand.

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK STOP CRAWLING ON ME LEAVE ME ALONE WHERE DID YOU COME FROM GO AWAY!" the stupid spider kept crawling on you.

It's honestly suprising no one heard you scream. Either that or they didnt care.You didnt know what to do. You hate spiders.

It took you minute or two of just flailing before actually doing something.You tried to reach for your nearest hairbrush to hit the spider with, only to accidentally hit yourself anywhere but where the spider was. Thats gonna leave a mark.

The spider, project 111, ended up biting you on the wrist. You ended up killing it with your hairspray.

You started panicking on whether you would die or not, you may have cried a little before realizing you were being a tad bit dramatic.

You realized the spider didn't look like the venomous ones you researched online while trying to find common ground with Damian back when he was new

So you decide to keep this to yourself, a nice little secret.

3:37 AM

You woke up sweating, panicking, hot, cold, tired, wide awake, hungry, full, thirsty, not thirsty.

You didn't know what was happening.

You forced yourself to fall back asleep.

it's around 12 PM when you wake up again.

You hope it was just a weird nightmare.

You realize you woke up late to breakfast, which was usually at 9:30 for you, so on your desk was some cold breakfast Alfred left for you.

While eating it, you thought about what happened.

Was it a dream? Was it a sign? Were you high?

You start walking in circles trying to figure out what it could all mean...it took you a while to realize you were literally upside down on your ceiling.

Oops?

Before you processed it, you panicked.Why are you on the ceiling? Why were you walking on walls? How were you walking on walls?

So many questions. No one to answer them.

After a bit of panicking and running around making a mess, you realize you sort of have powers.

You could stick to walls, that was one.You could make webs, thats two. You could be a hero, like the others!

At first, you find it so cool!

..then you realized your father doesn't want metas in Gotham...

You decide to keep this to yourself, for now at least.

oml this is so short oops guys i swear im. tryigg my hardest but also im kind of a bad writiter 🙏

anyways the next one of these i make is most likely gonna be emu reader cause shes so silly

anyways

[lostinlovingrevery]

Smutty Stuff About Logan: The Reckoning

pt 2 about Logan and cute (and maybe nasty) smut scenarios. Grab your vibrators folks

Logan definitely likes to make a mess. A big mess. He cums a lot, so messes are inevitable. But his kind of mess is the kind where he comes inside, or over your pussy and he just sits and spreads it all over, likes he's in a trance. It sends shocks through you every time his thumb rubs his cum over you clit and stuffs it into your cunt. Is he drooling?

You're on a mission. You and logan get put in a position where you won't be able to go anywhere for awhile. Logan thinks it's a great chance for some bonding. The next thing you know your suit is gonna and Logans been fucking you for two hours. Its when Scott finally clears you both that you have to both quickly get your suits back on and you gotta finish the mission with his cum leaking out. Hes very smug about it (such a perv)

hes big about his cum being on (or in) you in general. it's one of his many ways he likes to "claim" you

making breakfast together, it turns steamy. Now he's pouring whipped cream and syrup over you tits and belly and licking it off you.

He doesn't finished cleaning you when he desperately lunges to kiss you, his chest sticking to your messy body, food covering him. you guys just end up a bunch of lovesick horny fools with syrup and whipped cream. You take turns cleaning each other.

I think Logan wouldn't be a huge masterbater. I think he'd do it out of boredom. Maybe if he was pent up. He'd probably prefer the real thing. But when you come into his life, and you guys aren't sexually together yet- he's yanking his chain nearly every night to the thought of you. An animalistic instinct he just can't control bc if he doesn't get himself off to the thought of you he's going to pounce you (pls do Logan)

Mutual masterbation. You both sit across from each other (or your straddling him) and get off on watching each other. It drives Logan insane. The rule is that you don't touch each other during the session but Logan always breaks that rule

I think Logan has potential to be a peeping tom. He wouldn't do it right away, it starts when you shower and he walks back the bathroom, the doors cracked bc you forgot to shut it- and he catches you in the mirror. You didn't see him.

He's now in his room desperately getting himself off because he's picture you naked hundreds of times but then he just saw a nice view of your tits and they're even better than he imagined

It's not how he imagine he'd get to see you, but he'll take what he can get. Now he searches in moments he could catch a look at you.

One night he catches you masterbating in your bed. You're moaning his name. He could smell your arousal. He nearly blacked out

His claws will pop out at sudden things that arouse him. You're planning to go to the beach, and he sees you in a bikini for the first time. He spots you and snikt! They're out. He didn't even notice, too busy staring at the way you tits looked in that top.

I'm currently writing a fic over this BUT, you don't like alcohol, but when you taste it on Logans lips/tongue, you can't get enough. you quickly discover you really like alcohol, but only when logans spitting it in your mouth.

you gift Logan naughty polaroids. Some are of you scantily clad, others are you just straight nude in sexual positions. He keeps one inside his coat pocket. It's not just cause it turns him on, but he deadass thinks you look so damn beautiful in your natural state. He just gotta be careful of where he is when he looks at it.

Sucking on Old Man Logans dick, you drooling and your eyes are hazy. he tastes so good, and feels so good on your tongue. He's praising you for being a good girl, telling you he's all yours, to enjoy as much as you want. He wants you to get sloppy, to suck on him and forget about everything else. You've made him cum multiple times already, and you're still sucking on him, even as he's soft and gets hard again.

Trilogy Logan ravishing you over and over again. It's been a stressful week, and he suggested you both get away from the mansion the weekend. You got a hotel room- and haven't left the bed other than to use the bathroom, and take a nice romantic (and sexual) bath with Logan. Hes putting you in positions you didn't even know was possible, pounding into you with an animalistic fury, stuffing you full of cum. you should probably consider getting plan b (unless you want a baby)

Having an argument with Worst Logan and you say something that implies that you worried about logan really caring about you, a discreet and quiet anxiety you never told him. Of course, it pisses him off and he has to show you how much he loves you. Which involves hot, rough, and sensual sex. he's fucking you and making you tell him that he loves you and that you believe it over and over.

Riding DOFP Future! Logans lap, after he woke back up in this new life. Hes been begging you to keep riding him, to keep fucking him. Kissing you sloppily as you ran your hands through his hair. You were busy grading papers, but Logan stormed into your office and practically yanked you into your bedroom. he found you, his pretty wife that he lost before he fixed things. Safe to say, reunion sex is fun.

70S! DOFP fucking you in an alleyway by the bar you two were in. "You looked too damn good in there baby. All those boys making eyes at you. Gotta make sure you know you're mine." he moans as he buries himself deep inside you, practically lifting you into the air against the wall

Watching Origins Logan chop wood from your pretty little log cabin. You get an idea, taking off all your clothes and standing on the porch, ass naked and waiting for him to notice. His face is concentrated, a cigar hanging off his lips. He just looked so hot, and you found it funnier the Logan he went not noticing your naked figure. When he finally looked up, the cigar hung off his parted lips almost comedically, before falling as he dropped the axe to his side, and he made his way to run after you, throwing you over his shoulder and bringing into the house as you shriek with laughter. He makes sure to make up for the lack of attention he gave you by stuffing you full of him and eating you out for hours

Having sex on Logans motorcycle. You're riding together when Logan pulls off suddenly, somewhere private. he gets you to sit in front of him, pulling your pants (or your skirt) down. The motorcyle still rumbling he makes you lean down so you could feel the vibrations of it, while he fucks you. Lets just say you don't last long- but logans not ready to stop.

Logan certainly doesn't want you to hurt or be in pain, but a certain amount of pride does hit him when he sees you walking around with shaky legs

This man can eat pussy for days. He'll get lost in you, licking and sucking and licking over and over. You'll have to push him off multiple times before he's done

I did my Logan variants BUT riding around with old man Logan in his car. Your legs across his lip. He's got one hand on the wheel, the other massaging your ankles and feet. He made you feel good, so you move around and give him a handjob and a blow. He pulls over, making you get into his lap and ride him- because he can just never get enough of you

Thigh jobs.

Tit jobs

nuff said

Actually no

Logan gets so damn excited when you offer one of those. Something about being able to fuck a body part that's not technically fuckable

this man would get himself off on every part of you if you'd let him

yes, armpits, elbows, knees included. hes insatiable. and gross. but thats why we love him. keep being a freak baby, i'll be a freak with you

anyway, he's fucking your thighs and you're watching as his tip appears and disappears, his precum soaking your thighs, he cums and shoots it all over your belly.

with titjobs, hes sitting over you, thrusting his cock between your wet tits. he spit all over them to lube everything up. his cum lands all over your face and open mouth

Tying each other up? Yes pls

Logan definitely loves it. Tying you up, having his way with you. I mean, he's strong enough to pin you down of course, buuuut something really fun about watching you be helpless to him

and vice versa

logan doesn't have much self control with you, so tying him up can prove difficult. he ends up breaking through the ribbons, rope, handcuffs- etc to grab you and fuck into you

you finally figure it out though, the way to make him behave

you grabbed his box of prized cubans. expensive, rare. he only smokes them on special occassions. you had him tied up, and blindfolded, taking off the blind fold- you told him the rules

"no touching. no breaking the ropes. if you do, I destroy each one of these."

Logans face fell as he saw his prized cigars. okay, maybe you both knew you really wouldn't...would you?

logan couldn't risk that

powerplay is fun

cue the most torturous session logan has every experience. he swears he'd rather have adamantium bound to his organs this time than what you're doing to him

you're playing with him. like a cat who caught a mouse. your messing with him, edging him, depriving him of your sweet pussy. an hour of sensory play. another hour of edging. He's not sure if he can take it anymore. surely he can find another box of cubans...

but then you reward him for being such a good boy. lots of praise. lots of riding and sucking. lots of kisses. when he finally gets to cum he's begging and thanking you for it

now he's starting to see why you like him being so dominant

you had your fun though. next time, he's putting you through worse :)

that's all folks! I'll make a pt 3 soon, i just got a few other fics i wanna focus on ;)

[loulou-land]

Love, Everywhere

Day 7 of @bucktommyfluffebruary | Love Notes/Letters | 1,388 | ao3

Tommy finds the first note by accident—tucked into his jacket’s pocket as he’s getting ready to head out for work. He frowns, fingers brushing the crinkled edge of the pink sticky note and pulls it free. It’s scrawled in Evan’s messy, loopy handwriting: 

You look really hot in this jacket. Like, stupidly hot. Honestly, it’s a bit unfair ;p 

Tommy snorts, shaking his head, wondering what had made his boyfriend leave the note. But then again, Evan has always kept him on his toes. He folds the note up and tucks it into his wallet. 

The second note is waiting in his packed lunch, which Evan had made and wrapped with care, handing it to him this morning with a kiss and a be safe. 

A yummy and nutritious meal for my favorite guy <3 Because you deserve nice things and to be taken care of.   Ps. Do not eat the desert first! >:\ I’ll know if you do.

Tommy chuckles, rolling his eyes. But then he picks up the other container, curiosity getting the best of him, and he sees it's a slice of his favorite cheesecake. It takes all his self-control not to eat it before his lunch. 

He wouldn't put it past Evan to have spies at Harbor.  

“What’s so funny?” Lucy asks, leaning against the kitchen counter. 

Tommy shakes his head and folds the note into his flight suit pocket. He feels warmth creep onto his cheeks, but his heart feels full.

 “Nothing,” he says, but his smile gives him away. 

—————————————————————

After that he finds them everywhere. 

He never knows what he’s going to come across. Some notes are flirty and absurd, some sweet and romantic, others just pure on brand Evan chaos. 

There’s one in his gym bag: 

Get those gains, baby! So you can fuck me up against the wall ;) 

Tommy groans, slapping a hand over his face. Jesus Christ, Evan. 

Suffice it to say, he doesn’t get much of a workout that day. Instead, he drives straight home to ‘punish’ his bratty boyfriend. 

He does go extra hard in his next gym session, though. Evan does have a point. 

*

One stuck to his bathroom mirror: 

Oh look! It's the most handsome and sexiest man I know. Thank you, my life has been better with you. Has been better since you :) 

Tommy sees his own reflection staring back at him, the soft, surprised tilt of his smile. The wonder sparkling in his eyes. 

He presses a hand to the note, fingers ghosting over the words. 

No, Evan. You're the one who's made everything better.  

*

The orange sticky note blinks brightly at him from atop his pillow: 

Are you my pillow? Cause I wanna give you head ;) 

Tommy groans, burying his face in his hands. That one might be the worst pickup line he's ever heard. 

However, when Evan joins him in bed that night, Tommy kisses him all over before laying on his back and letting Evan take him apart with that sweet, dorky and sinful mouth of his.  

*

At this point, he shouldn't be surprised by the placement of some notes. Still, he finds himself bewildered by the one in his medicine cabinet: 

Are you aspirin? Because I’d like to take you every 4-6 hours… 

Tommy shakes his head, muttering under his breath, “Where do you keep finding these pickup lines?

*

There’s one on the inside of Evan’s blue hoodie, which Tommy has stolen for the third time this week: 

If you’re reading this, you’re probably stealing my hoodie again. Which is fine. Looks better on you anyways! Ps. Fair play, I have your favorite shirt :p 

Tommy laughs. Today, the hoodie feels even softer and warmer than usual. 

*

One day, he walks into the garage and feels something flutter to the ground when he flips the light switch. 

He bends down, picking up a blue sticky note that had been stuck to the switch: 

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! 

“Evan,” he says exasperated. Menace, Tommy thinks fondly.

—————————————————————

After a while the notes start changing. 

There’s one waiting on his front door as he's leaving for work:  

I’ve never met anyone like you. You're one in a million Tommy. Sometimes, ‘I love you’ is not enough. Not when I love you so much more than that. More than words could ever express.  Be Safe. Yours, E.

Tommy pauses. 

His fingers brush over the sticky note, over the careful way Evan had written this one, as though making sure Tommy took each of the words in and understood them. 

His throat goes tight, something warm and aching curling up inside him. He takes the note gently, folds it, and places it in a wooden box on his bookshelf with all the others. 

He has to take a deep breath before he can step outside. 

*

Then, Tommy finds one stuck to his truck’s steering wheel: 

I know it’s hard for you to believe sometimes, but you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. I love you exactly as you are.

Tommy stares at it. 

The words settle deep, heavy in his chest, wrapping around that raw and vulnerable part inside of him.

He swallows, rereading the note through glassy eyes before carefully tucking it into his glove compartment—where he knows he’ll reach for it again. 

* 

Tommy has picked up the book he's been reading for the past week when a note flutters onto his lap. His heart races wondering what this one will say. 

I choose you and I’ll choose you over and over. Without hesitation, without a single doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you.

Tommy exhales sharply. His fingers shake as he holds the note. He thinks how every note so far has broken him apart only to mend him back together. He thinks, An entire life loving this man will not be enough. 

In that moment, Tommy wishes for an eternity with Evan. 

*

There’s one hidden in the cockpit of the helicopter. 

He has no idea how Evan managed that one. 

But there it is, waiting for him when he climbs in for a routine check, stuck to the panel like it belongs there.  

I’m so proud of you, you know that. You amaze me every single day. I love you. 

He blinks rapidly, looking away for a second before glancing back at the note. Tommy doesn't remember the last time someone told him they were proud of him. 

For a second, he doesn't know what to do with all of this—with Evan’s love, constant and unrelenting. But the more he sits there, staring unblinkingly at the note, the more it settles within him. 

Tommy thinks he’s learning. How to let himself be loved. 

—————————————————————

Then, one night, Evan finds something waiting for him  

A folded letter, carefully placed on his pillow with a single sunflower beneath it, written in Tommy’s neat, precise handwriting:

For my sunshine,  Thank you, for seeing the parts of me I’ve never liked—the ugly and the shameful—and loving them anyway. For seeing me completely as I am and still wanting to keep me. For teaching me how to let myself be loved.  You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.  Evan, sweet, selfless, ridiculous Evan. I love you entirely and wholeheartedly.  Completely yours,  Tommy

Tommy is on the couch when suddenly there's a 200-pound man climbing onto his lap. It takes him a second to realize Evan is crying. His stomach drops.

“Baby, what's wrong?" He asks worriedly, running his hands up and down Evan’s back. 

Evan just shakes his head, clutching the letter like it’s the most precious thing in the world. “You love me.” His voice cracks, thick with emotion. 

Tommy’s confused. Because of course he loves Evan. He thinks he's been pretty clear on that. 

Then he realizes Evan is holding in his hands the letter he'd left him and softens. 

“Of course I love you sweetheart.” 

He gently wipes away the tears clinging to Evan’s lashes, tilts his head down for a forehead kiss, and pulls him close. Evan sighs, burying his face into Tommy’s neck, arms tightening around him. 

They stay like that for a while, wrapped up in each other. 

Tommy doesn't need to say anything else. 

Evan already knows.

[alexrosa13]

Valentine's Favourites

Sylus x female!reader

Genre: fluff

Warning: 2,4k words, overuse of the word kitten and allusions to cat like behavior

Note: fanfiction for my Valentine's Event

for masterlist and request info head to the navigation →

← how are Luke & Kieran doing ★ continuation of the evening →

~★~

Any day spent with Sylus was worth remembering, anytime he felt like it he spoiled you with various gifts and dates, indulging every desire of yours. This time he decided to surprise you, how much will you like the gift he prepared for you...

Being kidnapped from your apartment by your boyfriend who didn't want to share any information about where you were going was not on your to-do-list but oh well, here we are.

It's not that you didn't trust him, it was the fact that you were dying to know what came over him to pull a stunt like this, and he refused to acknowledge your questions.

The audacity of that man? But alright, you can try to act like it didn't bother you, looking out of the window of his luxurious car you tried your best to recognize your surroundings, but it seems that he was taking you to a totally unfamiliar place.

"When will you end my torment?" once again you turned your head his way to stare into his very soul, but he didn't act bothered in the slightest, sly smirk tugged on his lips, he didn't even spare a glance your way.

"Soon, sweetie, I promise, you need to be a little more patient than that." his teasing voice made you want to both: kiss him and strangle him. With a loud sigh you turned your attention back to the outside world, the trees passing fast before your eyes made you feel dizzy.

You closed your eyes, promising to open them in a moment, but then a moment became a minute, then two, then fifteen...

Quiet music coming from the speakers soothed you to sleep.

Sylus couldn't help but smile at the sight, his love, cuddled up in her seat, looking so vulnerable and calm, in contrast to her usual storm-like fierce character.

Well, she had the guts to take over the Onychinus one day if needed. But he wouldn't leave her to take care of such a responsibility, of course. The hard and dirty work shall be his, so she can enjoy herself in the world without worries.

Without counting the worries she felt because of his stubborn actions, but that's a story for another day.

Seeing your body starting to lean a little forward, he used his evol to make sure you won't hurt yourself if your head was to drop and hit something. Seeing you all comfy and safe once again he returned his full attention (99% of it) to the road.

He enjoyed your curious questions and bold but empty threats thrown his way. His favourite one was when you said you'll hang him like a pinãta and let the twins have some fun, how did you even come up with that?

He couldn't help but wonder what your reaction for his surprise will be. Will you be happy? Or disappointment? Will you shed some tears of joy or maybe call him a lunatic for driving you to nowhere just to ask one question.

The only thing that matters is your reaction and answer. Hopefully, you won't get disappointed.

It was around two hours later when you arrived at the destination.

"It's time to wake up kitten." his voice and him gently shaking your body woke you up, your eyes slowly opened, like in haze you stared at him while he tried to bring you to a fully conscious state.

"What..." your sleepy voice made him chuckle a little, he saw you closing your eyes again. Yeah, cats needed their sleep more than anything, right?

"Sweetie, we arrived." he kissed your head gently, your eyes opened once again, still looking tired after your nap.

He caressed your thigh for a moment before leaving the car to go and open your door. The moment he got to your side and crouched down you pulled him into a hug. Instantly his arms pulled you closer to him, making sure to keep your posture comfortable, and not let you lean too much down.

After half a minute or so, he gently moved you to sit back, which made you let out a quiet groan of disappointment at his warmth disappearing from you. He reached out for your shoes that you took off before your nap, carefully taking your ankle in his hands, moving it to rest on his thigh and putting your shoe on for you, giving your calf a kiss before following the same steps with your other leg.

After he was done he looked up, noticing your eyes closed again. A smirk tugged on his lips while he shook his head at your attics, before standing up and picking you up from your seat.

You didn't even flinch, already used to him carrying you whenever he finds the occasion to do so.

Closing the car doors with his leg and clicking the button on his keys to lock the vehicle, he started walking with you in his hold, your hands gripped his shirt like a kitten afraid to fall. Your eyes stayed closed, trusting him completely with your well-being. Your relaxed features made his expression soften, his precious kitten all comfortable in his arms.

The sun started shining a little brighter, irritating your eyes even with your eyelids shut closed, you hid your face in his chest, your arms wrapping around him tightly. He laughed at your behaviour once more.

The same woman who acted all cold and harsh with him the first few months he knew you, now completely trusting him to keep you safe. Your relationship started on rocks, but you managed to build a castle from the rumbles. And he couldn't be happier.

A couple minutes later he finally reached the place he wanted to show you.

"Sweetie... Open your eyes." slowly you followed his instructions. Meeting his eyes above you, the warm light making his features look more gentle than usual.

Slowly he puts you on your feet, your eyes never leaving each other. You stood up on the rocky path still hugging his side.

"Look." he whispered, his eyes turning to look at something ahead of you. You turned your head around, your eyes catching the grassy field full of white flowers. You tried to tell what kind of flowers they were, but you stood too far away from them "Those are datura flowers." he answered your silent question.

"Datura?" you peeked at his face above yours, him still holding you in the back hug "Aren't those like super poisonous?"

"They are." he kissed your head, unbothered.

"Why did you take me here?" you tried to search your mind for any memories that could somehow be connected to those flowers, but your thoughts were blank.

"There's a legend about those flowers, but it's a tale for another day. They just have a symbolism that matters to me." he pulled some strayed strands of hair behind your ear "I didn't just take you here to stare at the flowers."

"You didn't? Then what for?" you looked at him, your full attention dedicated to him.

"There's another place here that I want to show you." he took your hand in his, pulling you to walk after him.

"How did you even find this place? We're two or three hours away from Linkon, we'll be coming back in the middle of the night." he only chuckled at your question.

"Who said something about coming back tonight?" you looked at him stunned, but he didn't even glance your way.

"What do you mean?" you questioned again.

"I own a house not too far from here." you scoffed at his words.

"Pff of course you do." you continued your walk side by side, you tried to guess where he wanted to take you, but everything around you looked the same, no matter how many meters you walked.

After maybe twenty or so minutes you complained about him taking you to nowhere and making you move around too much when you just wanted to chill in your home. The only thing he said was 'be patient sweetie' just like before in the car.

Soon the sun started to hide behind the horizon, you couldn't help but gaze at the breathtaking sight before you, not noticing how your lover's attentive eyes were watching you, taking in the view of your beautiful face coated with warm orange light.

Too taken by the scene in the sky, you didn't see when you walked up to the place he wanted to show you all along.

You felt him coming to stop, your head instantly turned his way, asking a silent question. He only looked at you, with one corner of his mouth raised.

Confused you started to look around, the sight before you made your eyes widen.

A huge, red tree met your eye. Something about it making you feel like under a spell. In a daze you stared as the leaves swayed slowly with the wind, there were some lights hung on the branches, hidden behind the layer of leaves.

Your daydream got interrupted by Sylus's voice.

"Come back to me sweetie." you turned your head towards him, looking at him, waiting for explanation. Why did he take you here? "This place is also a part of the local legends. I guess you could also say that it has a... personal meaning to me." he looked at nature's creation.

"Personal meaning? May I ask why is that?" you observed his face, his expression not giving you any clue.

"A couple of years ago, that very tree was dying, locals tried their best to save it, but their efforts were not enough to help with its withering state. I paid it no mind at first, until I heard a legend surrounding that tree. It's said that a dragon lived in this village centuries ago, ruling the lands for many years, until..." his eyes turned to you "He sacrificed himself for his lover."

"Why did he have to sacrifice himself for love..." you asked, your tone gentle, Sylus started to look vulnerable, his gaze turned even softer.

"I don't know, there are many tales explaining that, some claim that his lover was the one who killed him, their greed for his richest becoming stronger than their love, some say that people rebelled against him, and he had to sacrifice himself for his lover to run away, others believe that he had to kill himself or else he would have to hurt his lover." your face took a rather sad expression.

"Which one do you believe is true?" his head lowered to kiss your forehead, soft smile gracing his lips.

"If I had to guess." he stopped to think for a moment "None of them." you looked at him confused, he couldn't help but chuckle at your expression "None of them ever made enough sense for me to believe them."

"Does everything need to make sense?" you crooked a smile, looking at him with something hiding in your gaze.

"No." he turned to look at the tree before you.

"What's the real reason you took me here?" you read through him once again.

"When I came here for the first time, this tree was almost dead, but it still clung to the last string connecting it to life, not letting itself leave this world." it reminded me of myself, the last string connecting me to this world being you "I decided to help it and a couple months later it grew larger, healthy and strong. I couldn't help but come back to this place every once in a while, something about it brought me a sense of peace." something only you were really able to achieve.

"It is peaceful here, unlike your usual environment." you giggled, hiding your head in his chest.

"Don't tell me you don't enjoy the thrill in our life sweetheart." our? "I brought you here because I wanted to show you more... Peaceful piece of my life. Something that you deserve more than the usual routine of the N109 Zone."

"I enjoy my days in the N109 Zone, I wouldn't change a thing." you nuzzled you head into his torso, earning yourself a quiet laugh from the man.

"I know sweetheart, seeing you happy in my home makes my heart fill with joy every time." gently he touched your chin, making you raise your head and meet his gaze "That's also part of the reason why I came out with a proposition for you."

"A proposition?" you were confused, what could he possibly talk about?

"Move in with me permanently." your brows raised in shock, was he actually asking you that? But you already talked about it..

"But... We said that we'll do that once we'll be ready to get married and stuff..." you let out a nervous giggle. Of course you wanted to agree, but you thought that it was still too early for him?

To your shock you saw him leaning down.

"What are you doing-" don't panic, don't panic, DON'T PANIC.

He kneeled before you, your palm still resting in his, you felt your heart beating two times faster than normally.

"Marry me." his voice didn't falter, his gaze confident. You wanted to faint on the spot.

"You're kidding me."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Kitten, I'm not."

"Sylus I..." his free hand reached into his pocket, pulling out a red velvet box.

You watched as he swiftly opened it, your eyes falling onto the ring probably worth more than your apartment.

"So? What's your answer?" you saw how his eyes seemed to lighten up every time you looked at them, you couldn't help but think about how he looked like a cat, pretending that he found himself in the same room with his owner totally by accident.

Your eyes left the jewelry, now looking straight into his eyes. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Sylus..." you felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes. The man of your life, the one who treated you like you deserved the world, who saw you at your worst and still reminded you how beautiful you were to him, was proposing to you "Of course I'll marry you."

He smiled, not his usual cocky grin, but a genuine smile. Gently he put the ring onto your finger, the gem adoring your hand perfectly.

He stood up, taking your face into his palms, your hands went up to his elbows.

He watched your glassy eyes shine, felt your happiness like it was his own, and maybe - it was.

His head dipped down to plant a kiss on your lips, deepening it almost instantly, sharing his feelings with you.

He absolutely adores you, and he'll continue to, through every life and story.

[steddieprompts]

Been craving Eddie and Max content but I can't not write about Steddie so...

-----

"Stop pacing." Max sighed from her ER bed.

"I can't help it. I hate hospitals." Eddie grumbled.

"You can go. I'm nineteen, I don't need an adult with me, you know?"

"I'm not shirking my brotherly duty."

Max snorted.

"What? You don't think I'm doing a good job?"

"No... you said duty."

"Jesus and they haven't even put you on pain meds yet."

"Just trying to get you to chill out." Max sighed, wincing when her arm shifted. Eddie eyed her arm before looking back up at her.

"Did you almost land it?"

"This close," Max said, holding up her fingers in a pinch gesture.

"What about the qualifiers?"

Max sighed again at that. She had been working towards getting in the X-games. She wasn't going to let a broken wrist slow her down though.

"The cast should be off before then. I can still skate with a broken wrist."

Eddie was about to reply when the door to the room opened.

"Hello, nurse," Involuntary left Eddie' mouth like some sort of cartoon animal. Max threw Eddie a look that he didn't see, but luckily the man didn't seem to hear him.

"Maxine?" The Greek God in scrubs moonlighting as a nurse asked Max as he pulled her chart off the end of her bed.

"Max, but yeah."

"Max, I'm nurse Steve. I'll be taking care of you until Dr. Wheeler sees you," the man said, eyes flicking over to Eddie. "Who do we have with you today?"

Eddie stared, enchanted by nurse Steve's eyes. Seconds ticked by before Max took mercy.

"This is my brother, Eddie."

"Eddie," Steve nodded at him with the slightest hint of a smirk before looking back to Max, "Max, Dr. Wheeler is the best ER doctor this hospital has. You are in good hands." Max nodded. "So, here for a broken wrist, huh?"

"Guess so."

"On a scale of one to five, where is your pain right now?"

"Four."

"Okay, I'm gonna get you some pain meds. Are you allergic to anything besides..." Steve flipped through her chart, "Bee stings and shellfish?"

"She can't take oxy," Eddie finally spoke up, the initial trance the man had over him wearing off slightly.

"I'm not allergic to oxy," Max retorted.

"Last time you took oxy, you puked all over my van, Red."

"That was from the anesthesia."

"I'm not taking that chance."

"Okay! Okay, we will give you something that isn't oxycodone based, okay?"

"Much appreciated, Stevie," Eddie smiled at him, taking pleasure in the way Steve almost fumbled taking his pen out of his pocket. Eddie glanced over at Max to see her roll her eyes.

"I'm gonna go get the meds and update your chart. Do you need anything before I go?" Max shook her head and Steve nodded. "Okay, hang tight."

Eddie stared at Steve's retreating form as he left the room.

"Uh, I know I said I wouldn't shirk my brotherly duties but..."

"Uhg, God, gross," Max fake gagged, "Whatever, loser. Go. Chase."

"Thanks, sis," Eddie threw over his shoulder, already halfway across the room.

He caught sight of Steve two rooms down and he nearly ran to catch him before he opened the door. Steve saw him and paused.

"Hey," Eddie started. Real smooth.

"Is Max okay?" Steve asked, concern pinching his brow.

"Red? Yeah, no, she's fine." Eddie waved over his shoulder dismissively.

"Oh, okay. Did you need something?"

"Just wondering if you get a break? I could buy you a coffee?"

Eddie watched as Steve smiled before biting his lip. Jackpot.

Steve looked over his shoulder before waving for Eddie to follow him. They ducked into an empty room.

"I am strictly prohibited from getting involved with patients or family while they are under my care, but..." Steve reached into his pocket and took out a card. "Turn around."

Eddie did as he was told and he felt Steve press the card to his back before he heard the click of a pen.

"If you just happened to somehow get my number and texted me once Max was discharged, I wouldn't mind dinner."

Eddie felt a chill when Steve's hands left his back. He turned around and Steve pressed the card into his palm.

"By the way, you had me at 'hello, nurse,'" Steve grinned at him.

"Don't get that often?" Eddie asked, pocketing the card.

"Not from hot guys who look like they could fix my car."

"How'd you know?"

"Lucky guess... and you have grease on you cheek." Steve smirked.

Suddenly a head popped through the doorway to the room. "Dingus! You're falling behind on your rotation!" The woman whisper-yelled.

"Shit, Sorry Robs," Steve hissed before turning back to Eddie. "Duty calls."

Eddie and Robin snorted simultaneously

"Jesus, what?"

"You said duty." They said at the same time.

"Never mind. When you text me, I'm not responding," Steve said leaving the room, but not before Eddie caught the smile he was trying to hide.

When Eddie made it back to Max's room he was staring at the card with Steve's number on it.

"Oh good, my horn dog brother got hot nurse Steve's number but I still don't have any pain meds."

"Shush. He's working on it. Don't insult my future husband like that."

"God, just kill me now."

[generalluxun]

Werepapas

Since I got a few more anon asks I watched it. Here's my take:

This is where ML being 'episodic' really shows.

As a PURELY episodic/light show this works. It sets up a conflict and resolves it in a quick light fashion without much fuss. Someone just watching this episode would have no idea of any of the implications.

In regards to Marinette's behavior overall: It's a vast improvement, but also feels like a flipped switch. Again- in the episode it's great, I loved Marinette's behavior in this episode A+ It's only when we look at the last 2 episodes that we wonder who this calm collected, effective person is.

Now the other side:

Nathalie's inability to hug Adrien at the beginning? when did that start? She's been trying to mom him for a season now.

The conclusion is painfully rushed for the setup. From extreme to extreme with just an akumatization in the middle. and *Child Custody and family dynamics* are not the same as *little girl doesn't get people to look at her drawings*

ML really has a problem with treating all things the same. Either the custody shouldn't have been THAT brutal, or the resolution not that complete.

And of course- the rings. who knows where the real ones are now, unless the wish made Adrien a Real Boy. This isn't even that interesting to me, just because i know it'll be something twisty and all the speculation will be more interesting than what we really get.

And *Ladybugbreaking the rings- what?* That is nonsense if you know what they are. (Again- episodically you wouldn't know) If they were treated as what they are, Marinette should have been bringing in all the backup she could. She should have run off with the rings. She should at *least* have called in Vipereon to make sure he could rewind time! It's SO bad in terms of the larger plotline to have her just break them.

Marinette's ladybug vision isn't magic, that's been shown. She's gotten it wrong before. That's been shown. Her risking Adrien's life is just... insane.

It's flat out OOC, just to deliver a plot point.

[renthony]

Goddammit I have things to say about Arcane again. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I have never been this obsessed with a show that pissed me off so much. Fucking hell.

Longish critical post under the cut.

Husband and I are re-watching Arcane from the beginning, specifically so we can do some critical analysis and frame-by-framing. This watch, I'm really fixated on the way Vi is reintroduced after being in prison, because it does not make any goddamn sense.

If Stillwater is primarily full of Zaunites working for Silco, and Vi is constantly fighting with them, but she's also constantly being tortured by the enforcers...who the fuck is watching her back? How is she alive? Yes, she has a solitary cell, but we see her let out into the common areas. If she has that many enemies in Stillwater, how has she survived this long? The answer seems to be "plot armor," and that's...not a good answer.

If she has literally zero allies in prison, and she is hated by both the inmates and the guards, she'd be dead. Even if we're supposed to assume Marcus gave the order to the other enforcers to keep her alive, we know for a fact that the enforcers are still abusing her, so they clearly don't actually give a shit, nor do they stop the other inmates from fighting with her.

Like, I don't care how much of a badass she is, she has to sleep sometimes. She has to eat sometimes. She has to take a piss sometimes. She is clearly in fighting-fit shape, she is clearly healthy enough to immediately start parkouring all over Zaun after release, so who's letting her have access to workout equipment? You don't get or stay that jacked just by punching a wall. How's she getting enough calories? You don't get the good food if everyone in the prison hates you. For all that she makes a joke to Caitlyn about prison food tasting awful, she is clearly not malnourished.

And who the fuck did her tattoos????? They're extensive and fairly high-quality. If someone else did them, who was she on good enough terms with? If she did it herself, who liked her enough to smuggle, sell, or share supplies with her?

It really wouldn't bug me as much if it weren't for the fact that the narrative seems to want me to see her as a forgotten loner who has nobody in her corner until Caitlyn. Fundamentally, that cannot be true, or Vi would have been murdered and dumped in the water long before Cait showed up.

Also, if Silco has that many people in Stillwater, how does he not have his fingers in the prison smuggling operation that clearly exists? I don't buy it. If he owns Marcus' ass that hard, and he's already involved in smuggling, he'd have spies and smugglers in Stillwater, too. I do not believe that Silco has the power and the confidence to casually threaten Marcus by showing up in the man's personal home, but not enough power and confidence to get spies into a prison that's already full of his own allies/underlings.

There are definitely possible answers to some of these questions, and I certainly have my own headcanons, but it really doesn't feel like the writers' room spent a lot of time thinking about the actual social issues and politics that they invoked for aesthetic.

Usually this is where I'd say, "I wonder what the S&P notes looked like, and I wonder how many episodes they got screwed out of, because so much of this could have been fixed with a little more runtime." Sadly, based on the shit that keeps coming out of Christian Linke's mouth, I don't think we can blame the corporate office for this one. If Christian Linke is telling the truth and the show got all the episodes they wanted, my ever-present "TV writers keep getting screwed, so I have to analyze the finished product with the knowledge that the creators likely got fucked over" goodwill completely vanishes.

The problem really seems to be that the show was written by centrists with a fundamentally flawed understanding of class struggle, drug use, the drug trade, and the prison-industrial complex. It's not surprising, but it does disappoint me.

And while I'm thinking about it, why is Shimmer somehow both drinkable and injectable in seemingly the same form???? Drugs can absolutely come in different forms, but we see people drink the exact same type of shimmer that other people inject. You don't drink injectable drugs. Fuck's sake, this is Skooma levels of "the writers just threw every scary-sounding drug in a blender to make Scary Super Drugs without knowing anything about how real-world drugs work."

Also, if the Firelights' big thing is that they hate Silco Because Of Drugs, I really wanna know how the hell Ekko found that many straight-edge anarchists willing to build a secret compound together. Are they against all drugs, or just shimmer? Where's their line?

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

I think I finally came up with a request idea! May I request some angst into fluff for a David x Reader where the reader is starting to feel guilty about something that happened in their past and David comforts them? Maybe based on the song Just a Man from The Epic Saga? Thank you!!!

Yes! Absolutely, sorry for the wait! I hope you like this💜

----------------------

A deep sigh left my chest as I looked over the town in front of me, my elbows resting on the cold rails of my balcony. Here and there, there were still lights burning, but almost everyone was asleep. Not me. I couldn't.

I looked at the burning cigarette between my fingers, seeing the collected ash as I had forgotten about it while lost in thought. I quickly released it from my hold, not wanting to burn myself. I stared out over the town again, closing my eyes as a cold wind swept through the trees.

A few nights ago, I had learnt that the world I thought I knew didn't exist. The world I knew was one with harsh realities and consequences. The one presented before me was one of miracles and dark fantasies.

The thing is, I hadn't been scared. Not once. Not when he forced me to drink, tricking me into something unknown. Not when he made me jump off that bridge. I hadn't even blinked an eye when his face transformed right in front of my eyes from handsome to downright monstrous.

It was only when he showed me how they fed that I felt myself become frightened. The way they laughed and cheered, the way they ripped bodies apart, the blood that was flying everywhere...

I shook my head as I tried to remove that image that was now burned into my brain. A few years ago, I wouldn't even have blinked at that scene, not once I knew what they were. But now? Things are different.

I leaned my head on my hands, ignoring the empty growling in my stomach and the persistent itch in my throat. I wouldn't change. I couldn't. I couldn't be like them. Not with how they fed, with how much pleasure they took in killing.

"You should drink this. It will make you feel better."

I jumped up, stumbling backwards as I heard his voice beside me.

"David?!"

He grinned, handing me a flask. I took it silently, opening it and smelling what was inside. Blood. I looked at him, before gratefully taking a sip. Then a second. A third.

It didn't take long before I had finished it, feeling slightly better than I had done before.

"Thanks." I handed him the flask back. "What are you doing here?"

"Just checking up on you."

"I'm okay."

He looked at me, and eyebrow raised. "You looked petrified when we showed you what needed to be done. We haven't seen you since."

"Okay, so, I'm not okay. But I'm dealing with it." I said, silently cursing myself when I heard my own uncertainty.

David shook his head, opening the balcony door. "Tell me what's wrong."

I shook my head, trying to smile but failing miserably. "I don't know-"

"I'm not going to be pissed," he told me as he sat down on my bed. "I haven't seen you in three days. I hate to say it but I was worried."

"You were?" I asked, surprised, closing the door and curtains. I turned some lights on, not daring to look him in the eye.

"Have I not made that clear? I said you were mine."

I shrugged, grinning sheepishly. "I thought that it was meant in a predator way."

He chuckled. "It's not."

I nodded, sitting down opposite from him, crossing my legs. "Oh."

"Yeah."

It was silent between us for a moment, before David looked at me again. "The way you ran from us when we were feeding, you weren't scared by us."

It was a statement. I didn't even have to tell him that they hadn't necessarily scared me. He had known. Had he seen? Or had it been something he picked up from my brain?

"So why did you run?"

I was quiet for a moment, scared to admit it. Scared to admit that the vampire life, the life he had promised me and I had taken, was maybe not for me.

"I couldn't handle the blood."

He was quiet for a moment, looking me in the eyes. "It's more than that."

I nodded. "It is."

His face softened as he looked at me. "Tell me."

"I - about three years ago, some friends and I, we went on a holiday. We had rented a cabin, stocked up on booze and music. It was just supposed to be fun." I tried to smile, thinking back on how wonderful my friends had been, but tears already started to well up in my eyes. "The first night everything was fine, and we partied and danced and just had a lot of fun. The second night, a girl showed up. She - she was covered in blood, screaming and begging for help. We let her in... none of us knew her or knew what she could do. We just - we just wanted to help someone."

"What happened?"

"She was pretty banged up, so my sister and I, we took her to the bathroom to clean her wounds and make sure she wasn't going to get an infection or something. While we were doing that, a man showed up at the front porch. He had an axe with him. We- we didn't see anything. We just heard what happened. He slashed through the door, he killed my friends. He came for us then, the girl screaming for him to come and get her."

I swalled hard, tears running down my face as I remembered the way my sister had held me, both of us hoping to make it through. I trembled, quietly wiping away my tears.

"He came in. My sister - she was older than me, always worrying about keeping me safe and-" I took a deep breath, "she pushed the girl in front of us, sacrificing her so we could get away. And we did. Almost. I- I'd just made it down the stairs and out the front door when I heard her screaming. I turned around, and I was just frozen. I couldn't move, I couldn't help her, I just I just stood there and watched as that maniac slashed right through her, cutting her up in pieces..."

"Shit..." David looked at me. Through my tears, I looked at him, not ever having him seen so soft and caring before. "Kitten, if I had known..."

"I know," I said quietly, looking at him. "I know. I just thought I could. I wanted to. I-"

"Why?"

I looked at my hands, not daring to look him in the eye. "I wanted you to be proud of me."

"Love," he took my hands, making me look at him. "I am proud of you. You are my other half. Literally. And to know what you've been through? And seing what you're doing now? You're strong. Stronger than I initially thought."

"She died because of me..." I whispered, "I'm not strong. Not like her."

"She died for you. To protect you, and give you a chance to live." David pulled me closer. "That you're still here, that means you're strong."

I nestled against him, holding him tight as he did the same to me.

"I don't want to feed like that. I don't think I can."

"Then you won't have to. We'll find a way that works for you."

"And what if we never do?"

"It only takes one kill to become one of us. If you really can't," he shrugged, brushing his fingers through my hair, "I don't know. We'll rob a bloodbank for you."

"You'd do that?" I asked quietly, tracing my fingers over his other hand.

"For you?" He looked at me. "Anything."

[subbydream]

Inspired by this

~~~~~~

I want to not hear the front door open. Or my name being called. Let's be honest I'd be too wrapped up in my own fantasy to care. All my brain would be focused on was getting myself off on a stupid pillow, nose buried in one of their worn shirts just so that maybe for a moment I could delude myself into thinking it was their thigh I was grinding against.

The only thing that would stop me was how the mattress dipped when they sat down at the edge of if. They'd sigh when our eyes met. "Why do you look so guilty, princess, where you doing something you were not allowed to do?" They'd ask leaning closer, anger and amusement dancing in their gaze.

"I'm sorr-"

"Why'd you stop? I was quite enjoying the show. Come on baby keep going." Their tone wouldn't leave space for rebuttal. A quick nod would tell me to hurry and I'd look away because I know better than not to go back to exactly the position I was in before.

I'd probably sense her moving around me but I wouldn't dare peek, keeping up with my desperate humping against the pillow. Then I'd feel them finding their place right behind me. One of their hands ghosting along my hip, the other around my neck. I'd try to speak up again, their hand around my neck would tighten just so to stop me. "Shhhh, I don't wanna hear any of it. You know what you did, love, now you deal with the consequences. What punishments would befit your crime... Mh..." They'd whisper in my ear.

They'd pull me closer to them, their movements guiding mine. Their hand would slip down, fingers finding my clit. It would take all of the restraint in my body not to start begging then and there. They know, their grip around my neck growing tighter, depriving my brain of oxygen just enough to make everything even better. "Fuck you're so wet doll, you really are desperate aren't you? Too bad you had to go and break the rules..."

I want them to stop, right as I would be at the edge of what I so desperately needed. Want them to laugh when they hear my stupid whine. Want them to throw me down against the bed, get on top of me and cage me in. "What? You really thought I'd let you cum?" Their thumb would trace my pouting lips before forcing it past them, "No, bunny, I'll have my sweet sweet time with you tonight. And if you cum without my permission... Well let's say you don't want that to happen."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men and Minors DNI

If you enjoyed this post and want to support me, consider donating to the Ko-Fi in my bio <3

[lynnie-s3all]

(idk if this got sent already but) chance w another gambler!reader when??

OMAGAWDDDD SURE SURE 😗

(i love gambling btw. NOT FOR LIKE THE ONES IN THE CASINO. AND I MEAN RHYTHM GAMES)

(OH MY GOD I JUST FINISHED WRITING THIS IT DELETED EVERYTHING.)

Chance x Gambler reader

(SHORT BUT WHY.....)

Whatever the situation is on you, you expect to see a dude who's dressed like hes from the mafia but its actually just chance

And yes this doesn't take place on the other heads up chance imagine.

You're just at a casino, full of people who has wealth and money into their own hands, and likes bragging about how rich they are to other people. Unlike you, you wouldn't even talk like that to people because that would piss people off

Anywayy uhhh how do i write a scene about making them gambling with chance...?

Right. You decided to make a bet on Chance on it.

You two were sitting at the table with him, Chance began to shuffle the cards and chips into the center of the table. As a gambler, you know it's going to be a tough game, but you're confident in your abilities.

As the game progresses, you start to see his hands improve, while yours only seem to get worse. Despite the best effort, he continues to outplay you and before you know it, you're down to the last few chips on the table.

"well well well, look who's down for the last few chips."

"shut it, i know you're going to win anyway."

You can feel the anticipation rise onto you as you push your meager stack of chips into the center of the table. Chance smiles slyly, knowing he have you right where they want you.

He finally flicks out the final card, and you tried not to look as you turn over your cards, only to find out that you've lost the hand and the rest of your clips slide across the table towards Chance.

"Well tough luck my darling, but don't worry, you can always try again if you want to lose more money."

Wait did he called you by 'darling'? surprised at his words so far, he proceeded to give you his card to contact him up.

"Call me if you can, I'll see you again in the next round."

(ISTG IM GONNA TWEAK OUT.)

(SORRY FOR THAT WHOLE THING I HAD TO REWRITE THIS BACK AGAIN BECAUSE I FORGOT TO SAVE THE DRAFTS....)

(anyway you can see i didn't put rules on my post and which means, i might do a small smutshot fic of someone. I'll tell you guys if i can.)

[badendfriendstournament]

Hi! I have this alternative bad ending for Wirt, where instead of becoming the Beast, he became a woodsman! But since he knows where ellewoods comes from The Beast manipulated Wirt enough for him to become a serial killer of the woods, now known as the Hunter

The idea is simple, Wirt becoming the new woodsman instead of the new beast. In this bad ending Wirt didn't learn how to stand up for himself, and as a result, the Beast managed to use his worse traits to put them into the extreme until he turns into this guy you see here in order to have a more useful woodsman

Wirt not only feeds the lantern with ellewoods, he also contributes in its making, by misguiding new souls so they get lost or even cuts them down with his own axe, all in order to keep Greg's soul alive, he basically lives only for Greg now. Of course, Wirt feels guilty about it and so he develops a huge self hatred that makes him stop taking care of himself at all, his mental health has been decaying too, since he barely sleeps and suffer from loneliness Wirt started to hear voices and so he talks to the lantern as if it was Greg, and the Rock Fact as well. The Beast does influence him, as the only company he is allowed to have, by time and using feelings like hatred and jealousy, The Beast managed to mold Wirt's point of view into a more similar to his, seeing people as nothing but ellewoods to feed the lantern with

Wirt becomes more lost than the woodsman ever was, not only is he literally lost in life but also he is losing himself too.

Why all of this bad ending?

The Beast wanted to survive, it never implies that he wanted a successor, in that case he should have done it with the woodsman already, or tried to convince people to become The New Beast Instead of tricking them to take care of his literal soul

When the Beast was defeated you can see the unknown is practically the same, or better, so the Beast wasn't that important for the Unknown to need a replacement

When Wirt and Greg are leaving, the Beast tries to manipulate the woodsman to cut them down with his axe, revealing that it is not necessary to lose hope to become an ellewood, The Beast literally said that everyone who perished in the forest would become a ellewood, so it's canon that murder is also a option for The Beast

People usually say that Wirt would become the Beast if he was the one who turned off the lantern, but again, if that was true, then in canon it would have happen to the woodsman instead

Something you can notice about the Beast is that he not only likes to make children surrender but he also likes to corrupt people. He did it with Adelei and succeeded, remember when she said this "I do what he asked me to, the beast of eternal darkness..." and was about to do it with the woodsman as well, that's why he showed him Greg becoming a ellewood, he wasn't moking at The Woodsman, that wouldn't make senses, The Beast was actually looking for him to agree with it, which The Woodsman did not of course

The Woodsman lost his wife, he thought he lost his daughter as well too, he was willing to keep his daughter alive BUT as long he didn't hurt anyone. The woodsman is a full grown man, and in the comics it is revealed that HE WAS A LAWYER, of course he knows what's right and wrong, of course he has his morals already established and will stand by them. But you know who doesn't have that? Wirt

Wirt was clearly a loner because he thinks everyone at home didn't like him, he had a twisted view of his own reality (example: THE WHOLE JASON FUNDERBERKER THING), he is insecure of himself, which makes a more easy target for The Beast. Wirt is literally the first one that falls for him, if it wasn't for Greg, Wirt would have turned into a ellewood tree

In the chapter 3 it seems that Wirt is always doing what he is told, it's a recurrent thing in the comics as well too, he says he does that to avoid conflicts, being submissive and a pushover is part of his character, a characteristic that it was finally defeated by confronting the Beast face to face, which in this bad ending didn't happened

THIS IS A MAIN POINT: in one of the comics that takes place during their journey in the unknown, Wirt accidentally fell over the garden of some sisters, in favor to fix it he now has to do her tasks and he does them as they told him, the thing is that the sisters are taking advantage of him and using wrong words on purpose in order to Wirt destroy things: burning clothes and breaking every single egg of their chickens. Wirt does this because he didn't want them to call their papa and get into trouble, until in one point the sisters asked him to DROWN THEIR DOG, so he refused, then papa woke up and the sister blamed Wirt for everything. The papa cries so much that he accidentally fills all the place with his tears, so in order to stop him, Wirt ask him if Papa wanted him to drown his dog... WIRT WAS WILLING TO DROWN A LIVING BEING WITH HIS OWN HANDS IN ORDER TO STOP THE INUNDATION, THIS BOY WAS ABOUT TO KILL IF HE NEED IT TO, OR AT LEAST ACTUALLY CONSIDER IT LIKE--- LOOK????

10. Even after the events on the main series, in the comics that takes place after the events of otgw you can see that Wirt has still issues to stand up by himself. In one of them he was tricked by a fake ghost and he built a huge construct in order to get to the moon (And it was REALLY well built) if he didn't want to be curse, it was only when Greg came that he dare to go down and realize that the ghost was just a disguise of a really lazy animal. THIS shows how he can be EASILY controlled by fear and how determined he is in order to avoid bad things, dude was about to do the impossible, reached the moon with a giant tower, HOW DID HE THINK HE WOULD BREATH ON SPACE HUH??? And all because he didn't wanted to be curse by a ghost

That's why I think he WOULD kill people if that keeps Greg alive. Wirt is determined to even hurt people in favor of SOMEHOW made up for his mistakes, the good brother he should have been before. Tho, even if his own reason talks to him, Wirt can't just stop now, because if he stops he would have to accept that Greg was never in the lantern, that he hurt HUNDREDS of innocents, and that he wasted his entire life, all for NOTHING

there is no going back, what else could he do after all of that? Wirt's been far away for too long, if he ever came back home he has no idea what to expect, but even if everything was right where he left it, how could he live on his life knowing all the things he has done? How could he be able to sleep at night? That even around friends and family NO ONE could ever know what he has done or understand what he has been through, because if they knew, all of them would want him dead. And so, he sees no other choice than keeping forward it, giving in into the lovely lie until it consumed his entire self, until his mind is completely gone with it

Until he lost himself forever.

Now, despite all my points and explanation I know is kinda edgy why Woodsman Wirt would be a serial killer of the woods BUT---

This idea is actually mentioned in the first chapter of the series! When Wirt and Greg first saw the woodsman, the first impression Wirt had from him was to say:

"Do you think it's some kind of deranged lunatic with an axe waiting out there in the darkness for innocent victims?"

So I thought... What if in the bad ending HE turns into that deranged lunatic? Which is such an ironic turn if you think about it ✨ because even after that, Wirt sees the Woodsman as a crazy or even DANGEROUS man to run away from in the rest of the series until the final.

I read a little about the information you have in the blog, and I think he would be in the category of "Fanon Bad Endings" but you guys are the experts

And so that's all, sorry if it was TOO MUCH text ;; I just love this concept and I wanna know if my boy can be classified as a Bad End Friend too, it would be so cool to see him being included in the different dynamics you guys usually do, like I made this a AU but is around a bad ending so I think it still counts

Anyways, I hope you guys like it, or at least respond me, have a nice day!

Hello there.

Yeah we already knew about this AU and theres also a few more request for this wort version to be in so yeah, he can get in

[spacejade]

Dawner/Twilight and Hero party focused chapter directory

Have you ever wanted to revisit a certain moment but couldn't remember the chapter? Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle aka Maoujou de Oyasumi aka Maoyasu has so many chapters and the titles aren't always helpful so I compiled a list of the most relevant Twilight/Dawner (AkaTaso) chapters on my reread! I've also noted down the chapters focused on the other members of the hero party, since they are so few. Hope this is helpful!

Disclaimer: This post is for those who have already read through the entire series and just to be able to jump to certain moments to reread. I encourage new readers to read the whole thing without skipping. There's just so much to love about this manga!!

Dawner/Twilight focused chapters

Ch53: Suya's nightmare of Dawner from their childhood. Now that I think about it, it mentions the time that Dawner went missing (and met Twilight), so it's related(?). It's also the first Dawner-focused chapter in the whole manga

Ch 70: Twilight and Suya have a practice pajama party and the first hint of Twilight's love story. It's not really related but I'm including it since it's directly related to ch257.

Ch257: Twilight's first love story, of his time with Dawner 15 years ago.

Ch316, 318-319: THE Dawner/Twilight reunion, and Twilight's reaction to it.

*ch317 is Harpie+Suya taking care of the sick cursed musician, if you were wondering what was missing

Ch339 (Kai runs away from the demon castle)+Ch346 (Suya's bar): These are actually focused on Twilight+Kai but they are also about. This.

Ch332: Not the focus of the chapter, but Zeus and Twilight talk about Dawner for a bit after saving Goodreste Royal Academy, and you can see some of Twilight's reaction here.

Ch334: Leo gets Chamos to investigate Dawner. Not much on Dawner/Twilight themselves and more on Leo's reaction to it, but we get Dawner's full name here.

Ch384-386: The Hero Party in the demon castle's dungeon mini-arc, up until Dawner meets Twilight (again)

(fun fact, the deserted island was first shown in ch300, the beach chapter)

Ch391: Dawner's reaction to finding out that Twilight is Dee

And that's where we are now! Will I get to update this post next week or will Kuma-sensei make us waiting another 70 chapters?? How exciting 👀

(Bonus: Way back in Ch22, Twilight already had nightmares abt disappointing the Hero. I thought it was interesting how he's always wanted to impress him, even without the connection to "Hee")

Hero Party focused chapters

Other than those already mentioned, here are the chapters focused on the hero party, since they are so few. I didn't include minor 1 frame appearances (especially in the first few chapters) but let me know if anyone wants that too

Ch77: Suya meeting Dawner in her dream. The first time we see Dawner's personality in the current time besides minor appearances

Ch83: I said I wouldn't include minor appearances but look at Dawner being a lil (clueless) shit here. The chapter is focused on Suya's childhood stories but Dawner is there for 2 panels, which i might as well just post here

Ch105: Poseidon tells Dawner that Suya doesn't want to go home. Again a minor appearance but it says sth abt his personality

Ch137: Sunrise's introduction. Queen.

Ch151: Princess Robo Mark III vs. the hero party. Not focused on the personality of the hero party but they sure are there a lot (?)

Ch227: The chapter is actually focused of Zeus+Poseidon but. is this anything

Ch233:Poseidon teaches Suya how to do pull-ups(?official translation?) backflips feat. a tiny flashback to Dawner giving Suya more trauma

Ch238: The lost teddy demon is found by the hero party (hooray! finally another proper Dawner-focused chapter!)

Ch242: The lost teddy demon from Ch238 starts to imitate Dawner and Suya gets suspicious. Really shows what she thinks of him lmao

Ch287: Neo Alrune battles the hero party. I feel like this counts as a Sunrise chapter, yes?

Ch352-353: The hero party at the fake inn. The Waker focused chapters!

Ch383: The suspension of the hero party's quest, right before they go into the demon castle dungeon. Kisho focused with more insight on how the team works together

That's about it for now. Honestly I was shocked at how far apart the chapters were.... How long has Kuma-sensei been cooking... Now with the plot developments I hope we get to see more of the Hero Party though!!

Also please let me know if there's any chapters I've missed or you want included. With nearly 400 chapters there might be stuff that Ive missed... 400... that's crazy.... may maoyasu go on forever....

[astertimberwolf]

We're all survivors of one too many bad things happening to us. I've healed from a lot, but CPTSD still makes me feel like I'm the lonelist of all, at times... Mostly because of trust issues. It becomes so hard to trust again and so easy to become a hermit or social recluse who never wants to leave their safe space or interact with other people ever again- out of fear of being abused, hurt, let down, disappointed, etc. all over- for the umpteenth time.

I think the thing that stings the most is- knowing, deep down, that the likelihood of you finding love... AKA someone who understands you wholly, respects you, cherishes you, supports you and wants to know- and love every single part of you... Is close to none. At least for me it is- or feels that way. When people look at me, they only see my mental health issues, my quirks, my defects, my vulnerabilities- or worse yet: my past mistakes. They're not able to see that there's a complex, emotionally deep, sensitive, empathetic, caring conscious being underneath all this.

Yes, I'm autistic and have ADHD. Yes, I suffer from Complex PTSD, which can lead to unfounded anxiety or depressive bouts from time to time- and hinder my ability to socialize and connect to others... But I've got a lot of love to give as well, a past- complete with a stupid number of experiences, both good and bad... a story to tell- a personality, which, while quirky, doesn't make me repulsive or hard to be around. I've also got lots of hobbies and interests as well... In short, I'm not just another "walking, talking problem" or "NPC you can interact with". I'm a person that can add color to your life. All you have to do is take some time to get to know me. If you're not a bad person, then I don't bite at all and won't retreat into myself to safeguard my wellbeing.

Life is so short, yet so many people have been traumatized or are socially maladapted to a stupid degree because they grew up on toxic social media... Wouldn't it be amazing if it became easier to form bonds and deeper connections with people? If we learnt to communicate and respect each other more? Live in harmony despite being very different? Share laughs, good memories and find company in one-another?

I don't know if this pain is just a consequence of having CPTSD- or if it's a whole slew of generations that depended on the internet for everything and, now, don't know how to form meaningful friendships / relationships with one-another.

If we want to change things for the better, we have to start putting more time, effort and points into empathy and mutual understanding. I have... But so many people I have come across have not, and it's deeply saddening and disheartening that nobody takes the time to develop their emotional intelligence or maturity any more... I want a better world and better people...

...a better future. I'm fighting for all that, tooth and nail. But will people join my plea and fight? Can we turn this around...? Be it through investing more time in platforms where you actually have a semblance of seeing a person in front of you like VRChat- or even creating new places where people can gather and help one another?

I don't know anymore. I'm rambling at this point. But I think these are real problems that everyone is just looking away from or denying the existence of by pretending everything is fine... It really is not. Can we make this year, a year where humanity starts slowly turning around and becomes a truly social, communal species again- instead of this individualistic, narcissistic, consumeristic / capitalistic nonsense? I know the former sounds political, but it really isn't. Look at how the most popular social media platforms are designed to enrage us, manipulate us, degrade our attention, ability to function- and click on stupid ragebait and misinformation. All for the sake of targeted adverts, engagement... And at the end of the day, money. It's always about that and not people's wellbeing. Is there a way to stop this and start over? :(

believe me, it hurts like hell to face the fact no one is coming to save you.. but fighting to save yourself can give you a connection to yourself that no one else can give you. it's a feeling that honestly can't be put into words. but it's so worth sticking around for.

and this doesn't mean you have to fight alone. there will be people in your life who can help tend your wounds. give you a safe space to rest. teach you how to strengthen the parts of yourself that are injured. or simply be with you in between battles, doing all the wonderful things that make life worth living, together.

i don't know if that made sense. i just want anyone else going through it to know there is another side to the hopelessness and desperation you're feeling. maybe it won't feel like mine is. but i do hope it's just as rewarding for you. you deserve that much, and so much more.

whatever you're facing now does not have to be the end of you. keep going. i promise you're worth it.

[funforahermit]

do you think there really is a season 2 trailer coming out on valentine's day, and they're waiting for that to drop before releasing the new cryptid factor episode because they were somehow talking about spoilers in there??