#but then again i shouldn't be. the universal lies in the specific

[druid-for-hire]

[images ID: three images of a comic titled "one must imagine sisyphus happy" by druid-for-hire. it is a visual narrative beginning with someone with wrist pain (depicted by bright orange nerves) working at a drafting table. the reader is shown the same wrist as the person uses it for many everyday tasks such as carrying a grocery basket, pushing elevator buttons, typing, and doing dishes, until the pain dissolves all the panels into chaos. the person then performs several physical therapy exercises until the pain subsides. they sit back down at a desk with their laptop, sigh, and begin typing. a small spark of pain reappears. end id]

a fun little piece i made during the semester and submitted into our school comic anthology! (which you can buy at the Static Fish table at MoCCAFest in NYC ;] ). it's about artists and injury

[woso-dreamzzz]

Big Boss II

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You're not just Not-Wolfsburg's Big Boss

You're a very good Big Boss.

You know this because Coach Emma and your mothers tell you so.

Sometimes though, you wish you weren't the Big Boss of Chelsea.

Specifically, now.

You wiggle happily in your seat as you sit in a video review session. The team are playing Arsenal at the weekend and you swing your legs back and forth as some of your favourite players appear on the screen.

"That's Daan!" You tell Jessie and Niamh. "She's so cool!"

Niamh looks at you a little wounded. "Cooler than us?"

You give her a look. "Of course! 'Cause she's Arsenal."

"Maybe tone down the love, princesse," Momma laughs as she moves to sit in your seat, swinging you up into her lap," We're still Chelsea here."

You sigh. "Why? Morsa says that if I love something I should let people know."

"I think she meant someone's cooking or a game, not one of our rivals."

"But why?"

"Well..." Momma has to think for a second. "Because being a good Big Boss means that you have to take into account other people's feelings. Jessie and Niamh might feel sad if you keep talking about Arsenal."

You hadn't thought about that before so you slump in Momma's lap.

"Sorry," You murmur. You shouldn't lie but if it's to save someone's feelings you think it's okay like that time Morsa lied about how your cookies tasted even though you know that you put salt in one of them by accident.

You wiggle on Momma's lap excitedly though at the thought of seeing the Arsenal girls again. Leah and Katie are super cool and Jill's tall so you climb up onto her shoulders so you can be tall too. Beth and Daan are extra special though because every time you see them, they give you a juice box and a snack.

You kick your legs out a little as you wonder what snacks Daan will give you this time.

"That's Leah!" You say before turning around in Momma's lap to peek over her shoulder at Morsa," Is she better than you?"

Morsa chokes a little bit, thumping her chest as she coughs. "What?"

"Cause you and her play the same position," You explain like Morsa's slow," Is she better than you?"

"Princesse," Morsa says in shock," What makes you think she's better than me?"

You shrug. "Dunno. That's why I'm asking."

"Just because she's Arsenal doesn't mean she's better than me," Morsa says," I'm one of the best."

"Was just asking!" You defend, sticking your tongue out," Momma says that if I ever wonder about something it's better to ask!"

When game day rolls around, you're very excited.

You're excited for every match day but especially against Arsenal. You get up extra early and go downstairs to play with your toys while Morsa and Momma wake up. You thought about going to the Big Bed but you know that you would just fall asleep and you want to be awake for the game today.

"Seeing the Arsenal girls," You tell Morsa when she asks what's got you so hyper," They're my favourite!"

She groans like she always does when you proclaim your love for Arsenal.

Momma laughs before going serious. "I know the Arsenal girls are your friends, princesse," She says," But this is very serious, okay? You can't tell them anything about how we're going to be playing, okay?"

Your brow furrows. "Why?"

"Well, because then the match won't be any fun for anyone and we all play football because it's fun, don't we?"

You think about that for a moment. It makes sense. You love playing football. You can't imagine what it would be like for it not to be fun anymore. "Okay, I won't tell."

"You're a good secret keeper," Momma says," I have no doubts you'll do very well."

You puff out your chest in pride as the car comes to a stop and you all get out.

You don't really understand why you all have to check the pitch because it's the same every time but Momma and Morsa make you.

"Daan!" You cry out, immediately detaching yourself from Morsa to run over. You stumble a little bit before crashing into her arms.

"Hey there!" Daan laughs as she swings you around. You settle happily on her hip and she pulls a Freddo Frog out of her pocket that you munch happily on.

She walks you both over to a bigger group of Arsenal girls and you high five everyone.

"That's a nice shirt," Daan says, pulling it down from where it's ridden up," What does it mean?"

"Means I'm the Big Boss!" You boast, puffing out your chest," I'm the best Big Boss 'cause Momma and Morsa tells me so."

"Oh, wow," Daan says with the perfect amount of awe at your status," I wish we had a big boss."

You look around quickly and bite at your lip. Momma and Morsa made you promise not to blab about Not-Wolfsburg tactics to Arsenal but they said nothing about helping them.

"I can be your Big Boss!" You say," But you have to ask my Momma and Morsa 'cause I'm only little and they still make lots of my choices."

Daan laughs but brings you over to where Momma and Morsa are milling about on the other side of the pitch.

"Momma," You say because you know she's more likely to give you what you want," Can I be the Big Boss for Arsenal today?"

She seems to catch on to what you're doing because she shrugs. "I don't know. Why don't you ask your Morsa?"

"Morsa, please?"

"Trying to pinch my daughter, van de Donk?" Morsa says," That's low."

Daan shrugs. "I'll give her back?"

"See that you do." Morsa presses a kiss to your forehead before letting Daan take you away.

You make sure to be just as firm as you always are because Coach Emma always tells you that being firm is the best way to get a team to play good so, just because you love Arsenal, doesn't mean you go easy on them.

"Run! Run! Run!" You order," Hurry up! Stop being slow!"

You cross your arms over your chest firmly and stamp your foot on the ground.

"Faster!" You yell," Or my Morsa's gonna catch you and she's not going to let you win!"

[avelera]

A Doylist Argument for Why Alice, Daniel's first wife, is NOT Armand in "Interview with the Vampire"

So I know the IWTV fandom has more or less made up its mind about "Armand = Alice" but I have to say, I am still not convinced. In my opinion, the discussion of how Armand knew what Alice was thinking that night was because Armand was spying on Daniel and Alice as a powerful telepath, all things we've known Armand to do, not because he was somehow Daniel's first wife and at no point did Daniel, an investigative reporter, in the present day recognize that Armand was Alice, his first wife who he would presumably have photos of.

Anyway, let's start from a Doylist angle. Doylist means, "from the creator perspective, analyzing from the point of view as the work of art as something created by people outside the universe of the story, ie, Arthur Conan Doyle wrote Sherlock Holmes, not John Watson who wrote the book in-universe."

First of all, it's pretty unusual for a show to outright lie to the audience. There used to be a whole script writing rule about it and if you look closely, it's very unusual in most TV shows for a character to outright lie unless the story is a mystery and unless the fact they're lying is well supported as being something the audience should be on the lookout for. But even when characters lie on tv, there's usually a bazillion neon signposts going, "The guy twirling his mustache and cackling is a liar!" and we're usually introduced to the actual truth at some point within the story.

Ok, all of that aside because I could talk about when and how and where and the nuances of writing liars into stories and why it's best generally avoided (unless it is the entire point, because audiences tend to take what they're told by a character at face value unless they're specifically told not to, etc etc.), IWTV by contrast with most tv shows is notorious for playing with lies and truth with this in very interesting ways.

Truly, I don't think I've ever seen a show lie to the audience as much as IWTV but even then, IWTV lies in very careful ways.

So, let's examine how IWTV depicts lies and subjective truth, and why I think this makes it unlikely that "Alice = Armand", which would be an absolutely gigantic lie to drop on the audience.

We always know that lies are going to be part of the story in IWTV. There's tons of support and scaffolding to the fact that the audience should know that this is a subjective story, that facts will be misrepresented and misremembered.

For example, it was an entire plot point with a long pay off that Lestat shouldn't have been able to communicate telepathically to Louis after he was turned and it was used to highlight that we should not take anything that happens in the flashbacks as objective truth. This has been told to us over and over and over again in this story.

This is so they can avoid the cheated feeling of a, "Gotcha!" Audiences do not like to be lied to but they do like to solve mysteries. If you're going to lie to the audience, you need to give them a chance to solve it. Generally speaking you accomplish this by telling them ahead of time what they should be looking out for and that there's a mystery incoming, you don't just "Rocks fall, everyone dies," dump it on them out of nowhere then laugh that they were too stupid to figure it out. That enrages audiences.

Now, it might seem like I'm contradicting myself here. "Avelera!" You might say, "We have it well established that something fucky is going on with Daniel's memories! A big red flag was raised that Armand has messed with Daniel too in the flashback to the 70s! We know from the books that Daniel and Armand had a relationship and the show is at least teasing that they had one in the show canon too! Isn't that enough to establish that Alice = Armand is a reasonable mystery that is being hinted at within the context of the story?"

And to this I answer, sure, it's reasonable. I think the number of people who are speculating that Alice = Armand is actually a point in favor of it being true, because a good established mystery should have enough hints that people can begin to put it together before it's confirmed.

But here are my personal hang ups about why it still doesn't feel quite right to me.

We have the fact that Daniel has ruined two marriages. This is set up early. Like, super early, in episode 1, before we even see the vampires. We also establish that Daniel's two marriages are with (presumably mortal) women and that he has 2 daughters. This is set up long before the themes and ideas around the subjectiveness and falsehood of memory are introduced. Generally speaking, you don't introduce a mystery before you introduce that there is a mystery. To my eyes, we were meant to see the details of Daniel's marriage and family life as objective truths about him that inform his character before the interview starts.

Even when we do get into Louis' interview, there is a strict dichotomy to the dreamy, subjective world of Louis' story and recollection, and the sharp reality and harsh brutalist lines of the apartment in the present day.

To my eyes, the meaning is clear: All flashbacks are suspect and subjective, but scenes that take place in the modern day are objective. They are really happening. We can speculate about what things like what the decor tells us about their mindsets and the way Armand and Louis present themselves to Daniel mean, but this isn't a dream or a lie or a framing device happening here. Modern day = objectively true.

Daniel talking about his two failed marriages and his daughters is not presented within the framework of the subjective interview flashback world. These are not facts we've been asked to question, these are the objective building blocks that tell us, objectively, where Daniel is coming from and why he's the bitter old man we see instead of the bright eyed interviewer seen in the IWTV film or books.

The very AU premise of IWTV from the books is that we are in a canon divergence world where Daniel was allowed to grow old, have a family, and have a successful professional life even if he never had a successful personal life. It is the way we are objectively meant to understand his point of view and other elements like his saltiness towards the vampires. It's how we're supposed to understand him as different from his book counterpart. I think it would be cheap to then pull a "gotcha!" about those, personally.

Now, there is a mystery introduced as far as Daniel's memory, recollection, and possible falsehoods in his own understanding of his life but those are questions like: "What happened after Daniel interviewed Louis the first time?" Which is part of the broader question of, "Why are we returning to the interview now?" Which also plays a bit into Daniel's broader questions of, "Am I going to survive this interview?" which is connected to the question of, "Why did I survive the first one?"

But those questions are generally raised and addressed within the flashback to the 70s, because flashbacks, as we've established, are (within the story of the IWTV show) where these doubts about objectivity are allowed to exist.

Note, that Daniel's 2 marriages and the existence of his daughters are not discussed in the flashbacks. What is discussed is, "Why did I survive that night in the 70s?" And we learn that Daniel's memories of that time have been tampered with, there's more to the story that it appears, and he had a moment of connection with Armand that he did not recall.

"But Avelera!" You say, "Is this not further proof of Alice being Armand if we establish that Daniel doesn't have the whole story and that he and Armand had a connection that he doesn't fully remember??"

I think it is a point in favor of the theory. I think it's a point in favor of the theory being a valid one to explore, but I'm still not sold because of a few reasons.

Armand has never:

Presented himself with feminine pronouns, never cast himself in a feminine light, never associated himself with the feminine.

Furthermore, Armand has never disguised himself as a woman. Disguise is a theme in the show, Daniel talks about how people put on disguises before he finds the truth of them. But if "Alice" is a way for Armand to disguise himself in Daniel's memory, it is not a disguise that bears any resemblance to the other disguises we've seen Armand wear throughout the show. It is not a theme for Armand, it is not related to his story. Armand is many things to many people, but he's never ever associated himself with the feminine.

Armand would not need to disguise himself as a woman in Daniel's memory for Daniel to plausibly remember having a relationship with Armand, because Daniel recalls having queer experiences in the 70s. If Daniel remembered a relationship with "Andrei", I'd be more inclined to believe he's substituted himself in Daniel's memories with a mortal. Going so far as to say, "Of these 2 women Daniel told us in the objective present that he's been married to, one of them was a man who was also Armand," just seems a bridge too far in tricking the audience for no apparent reason. To me, that feels like a cheap trick on the audience.

Now, what about those weird things Louis and Armand say about Alice when they're shaming Daniel with the memory of her?

Specifically: what about Armand knowing what Alice is thinking the night she turned Daniel down?

This is my biggest point of difference with those who theorize that Alice = Armand. After all, how could Armand know what Alice was thinking that night unless he was Alice?

To put it simply, I think he knows because he was stalking Daniel that night.

I think we are meant to go, "Wait, what??" when we hear that Armand knows what Alice was thinking that night. That conversation is mean to be a red flag when we're invited to notice that Armand and Daniel have more history together than we, or Daniel!, have been led to believe.

But we also know Armand is a powerful telepath. This is a hugetheme throughout the show.

And, personally, I'm big fan of Queen of the Damned the book. It is my personal theory that IWTV the show takes place in a world where Armand and Daniel had their "Devil's Minion" whirlwind romance in the 70s, but instead of Armand turning Daniel as he requested, he wiped Daniel's memories and then let him go.

IMO, Daniel continued life thinking that he'd lost his memories of the 70s due to drug binges, and then from the 80s onward lived a relatively normal life with his two failed marriages to mortal women, his two daughters, and his award winning career. That's the divergence point.

To me, it seems much more plausible based on everything we know about Armand, that after he "freed" Daniel from their relationship and "allowed" him to live a mortal life instead of "cursing" him with vampirism, that Armand continued to stalk Daniel. Because that's what Armand does. Even in the Devil's Minion chapter of QotD, he's constantly stalking Daniel to the point where all Daniel needs to do in a particular city to have Armand swoop in to save him is think about him really hard.

So to me, what I think that line of dialogue was setting up was not "Armand = Alice" it was, "Armand continued to stalk Daniel after their relationship ended and that is the red flag you're supposed to pick up on from this dialogue, not a convoluted masquerade where Armand replaced Daniel's memories of the relationship with a woman named Alice who at first rejected Daniel but then eventually agreed to marry him."

To me, Armand = Alice just seems too convoluted. It also seems too easy to disprove given that Daniel is an investigative reporter. You're telling me he doesn't have any photos with "Alice", his first wife? You're telling me that if Armand was Alice, Daniel's first wife, that he never looked at "Rashid" or Armand and said, "Wow, you remind me of you my first wife?" Because to me, that's the sort of line you drop (in a more subtle manner) if you want people thinking about Alice = Armand but there is nothing along those lines in the show.

Now, what about the line, "You felt safer holding her hand in Paris."?

That one is a bit of a head scratcher. That one I think does lend to the possibility that "Alice" was male, that "Alice" was Armand, because Paris is discussed as more queer friendly (even though we also have scenes of Louis and Armand receiving homophobic comments while in Paris so... idk, "more comfortable" doesn't mean it was truly accepting, much like Louis felt "more comfortable" being a man of color in Paris even if racism was still rampant, but I digress).

But I didn't take it as a comment on Paris being queer-friendly (and therefore Armand = Alice) at the time when I first watched that scene.

I took Louis statement there as much more of an attack on Daniel's hatred of Paris. Paris is the city of love. America is the country where Daniel lives and works and has his identity as a hard-ass American reporter. In Paris, though, he was able to relax and be in love, far away from his work. Daniel has now grown to hate Paris because Paris was the place where he was young and in love with his first wife, a relationship that ended badly.

I felt that Louis was more calling out Daniel's changing attitudes towards Paris, rather than implying that Paris was more queer-friendly so Daniel could be openly with his lover Armand.

TL;DR: Look, I think the theory of Alice = Armand has a lot to recommend it, but I still have my objections to it. I think it's too big of a trick to pull on the audience to say that investigative reporter Daniel Molloy wouldn't recognize Armand as his first wife upon seeing him. I think it's too big of a trick to pull on the audience because the identity of Daniel's wives has never been presented as a mystery to be solved. I think it's much more plausible that they were setting up that Armand has been stalking Daniel very closely over the years, not that he insinuated himself into Daniel's life under false premises as a woman, a disguise and identity he's never used before.

I think Alice is real. I think Armand is a stalker, and that was meant to be our take away from that conversation.

[ossidae-passeridae]

4. What’s the worst part of fanon? 😈

Question from here

That'd be the implicit racism thanks for asking!

A non snappy response, aka to explain what I mean by that:

A lot of fanon tropes implicitly reinforce a very white, America-centric POV, and in a universe like the GFFA which lies somewhere between heavily Asian-inspired and gloriously multicultural, that really rubs me the wrong way. (To clarify upfront: it is not racist or whatever to enjoy these tropes or to write them, but it worries me when people don't even seem to realise it)

An obvious, innocuous-seeming example is the tendency to use 'Ben' instead of Obi-Wan's actual name in AUs — especially when others' names (Anakin, Mace, Cody, etc) aren't changed as well. The biggest difference between those names and Obi-Wan's is that Obi-Wan's is obviously Asian inspired, and theirs aren't. It's not something I expect most people even think about! But it always leaves a sinking feeling in my chest.

(Obviously if, like in canon, Obi-Wan is using Ben as a pseudonym while in hiding that's a very different kettle of fish.)

A larger example is how incredibly common it is to cast the Jedi as space-Christians — some common examples being focus on tenets (the Jedi Code, which is a meditation mantra, not a rulebook), the pervasive Catholic Guilt which is very explicitly Christian in nature, the emphasis on worship as ritual rather than a state to work towards, the generalised "all organised religion must be Bad" sentiments that feel very specifically ex-Christian in nature.

Thinking about one's own religion and expressing thoughts through fiction/art isn't an issue in and of itself.

The thing is, the Jedi are explicitly based on Asian Buddhists. Not just in set dressing, but from the ground up, from their beliefs and the way they act, to their clothing to the structure of their temple — to strip that away is to remove what makes the Jedi the Jedi. It's to remove the Asian-ness and replace it with something predominantly white. It implies that Asian influence shouldn't or can't exist in the GFFA, or that there's something inferior or wrong about Buddhism that needs to be "fixed".

Again this isn't something where I think that fan authors are sitting there going "muhahaha I'm going to be RACIST today", I know that's not what's happening. But when so much Jedi-centric content being produced minimises the Asian influence and pushes a western one, it starts to say "there's something wrong with this group, we're trying to erase it because there shouldn't be representation at all" — an issue of scale, at its core.

(Then ofc there's all the "the Jedi steal babies" and "the Jedi ban emotions" and "the Jedi need to be destroyed" which, entirely separate from the above, if you replace 'Jedi' with 'Buddhists' I'm kind of starting to wonder why you hate Asian people/Asian religions, you know?)

I won't even get into the fanon surrounding the clones, because that'd require me to talk about KT far more than I'd like to on any day, but especially today 🤣

(All opinions expressed above are solely those of pass e. ridae and do not express the views or opinions of any affiliates or associates, passerine or otherwise)

[quasi-normalcy]

I know I say that modern Star Trek hasn't really introduced very many original villains, but that's not quite fair., So...

Comprehensive list of new villains offered by modern Star Trek (post 2017)

BA'UL

Why They're villains: They oppressed the Kelpiens on Kaminar for thousands of years and lied about their origins. Pros: Notably creepy design, and notably creepy technology Cons: They can't really be used as recurring villains because the Kelpiens overthrew them at the end of the episode; 900 years later, they'd become allies.

CONTROL(technically borrowed from the novels, but whatever):

Why They're Villains: Did that standard basic bitch evil computer move where they tried to wipe out all organic life in the galaxy. Pros: Um...at least the writers got it out of the way so that they couldn't make that particular aspect of the novelverse canon.

Cons:

CONTROL sucks.

Seriously, at their best, they're just like...Diet Borg. Fuck CONTROL.

Can't come back because Emperor Georgiou murdered it up but good, yum yum. Not that you would want it to.

HIGHER SYNTHETICS:

Why They're Villains: "Just ring us up and we'll come kill all organic life in your galaxy", lol.

Pros:

Tentacular

Introduces some cosmic horror to the Star Trek universe.

Cons:

Kind of a generic doomsday villain.

Too powerful to really use them again.

GELRAKIANS:

Why They're Villains: Turn hostile if you show them wood.

Pros: Umm...

Cons:

Completely obsessed with crystals

Not really prime "recurring villain" material

DROOKMANI:

Why They're Villains: Extremely territorial about their salvage.

Pros: So far, they're the first villains on this list who have actually been recurring

Cons: They don't really seem like a threat to any ship more powerful than California class.

BADGEY:

Why He's a Villain: Daddy issues.

Pros: "I will burn! Your heart! In a fiiiiiiiire!"

Cons:

Kind of a one-note joke.

Ascended to a higher plane of existence so he can't be come back.

AGIMUS & PEANUT HAMPER:

Why They're Villains: He's a tyrannical supercomputer! She's just kind of a bitchy robot! Together they're...legitimately just making each other into better people?

Pros: They're kind of adorable?

Cons:

They're not really villains anymore

Peanut Hamper shouldn't even be on this list since Exocomps were from TNG.

SPECIES 10-C:

Why They're Villains: Gravitationally dredging the Milky Way for dark matter.

Pros:

Kind of a cool concept

Not a type of alien that Star Trek has really done before.

Cons:

Not really villains.

Extremely unlikely to recur.

TRANSWARP CONDUIT ALIENS:

Why They're Villains: They, uh, opened up a big-ass transwarp conduit in the middle of Federation space for some reason.

Pros: Umm. They gave Agnes something to do in the finale.

Cons:

Blatantly just created at the last minute to justify the presence of the Borg at the beginning of the season.

By the writers' own admission, they never had any actual intent to follow up on them, even though they really ought to.

They're a complete blank slate; even more so than the Higher Synthetics. Who are they? Dunno. What do they want? Dunno.

Honestly I don't even care about them, I just want to see more Jurati-Borg

VAU N'AKAT

Why They're Villains: They blame the Federation for destroying their planet in the future.

Pros:

John Noble and Jameela Jamil both have really pleasant voices; like, I could listen to them all day

Advanced enough to pose a serious threat, but not advanced enough to be generic doomsday villains (pretty much the only one on the list to hit that sweet spot)

It's nice to actually have an original alien species as arc villains for a change

I like the aesthetics of their technology

Space Goths

Drednok

Cons:

SHEPHERDS:

They seem to have made friends with the Federation by the end of season 2 (though there's always room for xenophobic splinter factions)

Why They're Villains: Ancient fundamentalists amorally protecting a holy comet on its path.

Pros: It was a good episode.

Cons: Unless you run into that one specific comet, they'll probably just leave you alone.

MAJALANS:

Why They're Villains: You know The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas? That.

Pros: It was a good short story.

Cons: Aside from ritualistically torturing a child to death every few years, they're kind of upstanding citizens of a the galactic community. Not really villain material.

HYSPERIANS:

Why They're Villains: Their evil queen keeps trying to trick her asexual son into losing his virginity.

Pros:

Their ship is really pretty.

The concept of Ren Faire larpers getting together to make a real kingdom is kind of hilarious.

Cons:

They're just another type of human

They seem to mind their own business when they're not trying to interfere in the sex life of one specific Starfleet engineer.

KROMSAPIODS:

Why They're Villains: They have a undeniable biological need to hunt

Pros: Kind of terrifying design

Cons: Catch-and-release hunters aren't really threatening.

MOOPSY:

Why It's a Villain: The Moopsy DRINKS YOUR BONES!!!

Pros: Moopsy!

Cons: Moopsy!

CLICKETS:

Why They're Villains: They seem to be trying to expand their influence on the galactic stage (which is a novel motivation at least)

Pros:

Cool design

That scene where one of them shed its meatsuit was pleasingly disgusting

Cons:

They're kind of forgettable

They're called Clickets

They apparently have a biological fight-or-flight reaction to compliments and can be repelled by telling them you like their vibe

[dykeofmisfortune]

Somerton's misogyny and lesbophobia was fucking blatant and the fact his fans didn't care / notice until a man made a video on it is abhorrent. That IS a problem, people NEED to do better or else bigotry towards women will only continue to be accepted! Lesbians were calling this loser out for years and no one cared!

hey. as a lesbian who watched somerton's videos you have to understand that it wasn't "fucking blatant" and it was embedded between smart (stolen) points in the structure of the argument, and was given fake "evidence" to prove it --- something hbomberguy specifically shows with every example. i personally always noticed that it was weird and it was always a critical point when watching his videos (and also uh, side note but you shouldn't primarily go to cis white men for good takes about feminism and the lesbian experience anyways --- like, you should be watching a diverse intake of thought from underrepresented creators and understand that the cis/white/male perspective will always be limited because it's not universal)

to many, though, it for sure didn't register as a pattern of behavior until the instances were laid out. saying that audiences were "abhorrent" for "excusing" it just shows a complete lack of sympathy, because again: the pattern of behavior was the problem, and rhetorically each individual instance was relegated to enough plausible deniability where it slipped by most audiences who were probably watching the video in the background while they folded laundry or something. when bigotry is shrouded under the guise of fact, it takes on the affect of truth and abuses the viewer's trust in the creator. sure, media literacy is a huge problem, and i've written and researched so much into that, and yeah yeah audiences should "do better." the reality is though, putting the blame on the audience feels a little misogynistic in itself, bc you're just shifting the blame from the literal people who need to be blamed for practicing bigotry --- cis white men with a large platform.

the real thing u should be saying here is to call for a diversification of one's media intake, but no -- let's blame the audience for getting lied to, instead of uplifting female, queer, trans, poc, etc voices. the only way people "need" to do better, imo, is listening to those people instead and seeking multiple perspectives.

like y'all, let's retire this very new narrative that all james somerton fans were evil misogynists who willingly supported this and need to be destroyed. really most people who watched his content were younger queer people genuinely interested in queer media analysis, film theory, and queer history, probably excited that a long video essay was dedicated to their favorite show/movie/etc, and lets not pretend this wasn't disappointing for them as well. can everyone like chill out.

[okayto]

Biannual Research Instruction Reflections

My research post is going around again (RIP my activity page), which always brings a bunch of fresh comments on a variety of related topics, and I always wish I could add some little addendums that people should keep in mind:

The original point of the post is that you shouldn't automatically assume a mid-high research familiarity with anyone, even people who have previously completed university degrees (outside of specifically-demonstrated proficiency as an admissions requirement or something). The post was particularly sparked because the master's program that student was in, at the time, did not include a library orientation that even showed students what databases were or the program-specific guide, and I hated that the program thus relied on students to realize they should use the library and just intuit how to find everything.This has since changed.

It was also sparked because, as seen in the dialog, the student did not demonstrate even basic computer-search semi-critical thinking skills like "maybe I should try rephrasing my search."

Yes, it is fairly common AFAIK in the US for first-year college/university students (or students in beginning-level college courses) to get some sort of library or research instruction. To my knowledge it's also pretty common in certain disciplines to have a dedicated research methods-type course at a higher undergrad level before graduation.

It's a reasonable assumption that students in a master's program have had information literacy instruction (or a full research class) before since everyone had at least one prior college degree, but I strongly believe all programs need, at a minimum, a basic library introduction (even a virtual tutorial, which is what this program now does) so they know/are reminded of what resources exist.

Pretty sure it's not uncommon to get some sort of instruction in high school, and even basic skills earlier than that. IDK what's widespread at pre-college levels, guys, I was homeschooled. But educational standards vary from state to state, and education is, if you haven't noticed a notoriously politically-influenced profession (in that often people spouting opinions and making rules are not educators).

That said, I have personally seen many instances where students did get a very good introduction, tutorial, or in-depth lessons on how to research, and they didn't pay attention or take it seriously. This is not a problem that lies solely with people designing educational courses or standards. The problem of equating "I can google for basic questions on a phone" with "therefore it's easy to look for academic and/or specialized publications and research in subscription databases or other less-public locations" is something students also do all the time.

Research is also a skill, meaning that if you don't use or practice it, you'll likely lose some of that knowledge. This isn't a judging statement; it just means if it's been a while since you had to use those skills, even if you knew stuff before, you might need some help to refresh that knowledge.

This was true when I wrote the post and it's true now: reaching out for help is a good option.

My research and library tips tags would probably also appeal if you like that post.

[discordiansamba]

some more spitballing about that AU but in a new post since that one was getting kind of long:

From Coran, Allura figures out that it may be possible to get someone's memory of the previous reality to return by having them come in contact with a specific trigger. For Coran, it was his control panel on the Castle of Lions.

Which means... she just has to figure out what each paladin's trigger is. Clearly it is not their lions. Keith is proof enough of that. But maybe she can even use it to disrupt Honerva's brainwashing.

Speaking of Keith, it is... deeply weird to see him as an Altean. But also fortunate, because it seems he has a spark of alchemical talent! Which means they can move the Castle of Lions, as soon as they get it in order.

Keith and Romelle are just confused. Why do these two- what did they call themselves again? Humans? Know so much about this ancient Altean ship?

Allura only sort of lies. She tells them she has memories from a past life, as does Coran. Technically very true! She has lived nineteen years as a human. It does make her life as an Altean princess feel a bit like a 'past life'.

Keith's a little wary, but Kosmo seems to trust them, so he decides to trust them both.

local half-Galra turned local Altean born with a lingering sense of something being off, but unable to determine what. He grows up wary and naturally suspicious. except for Romelle. he trusts Romelle implicitly.

(ironically, it was this same wariness that prompted him to never be around whenever Honerva visited. he was under her nose the entire time, and she never knew)

Keith and Romelle out on their own in the universe. What will they do? (acquire a cosmic wolf, an ancient Altean superweapon, and stumble upon an ancient Altean castle. they're keeping themselves busy.)

Pidge is Olkari and Hunk is Balmeran. These are obvious. If we had confirmation that the merpeople could get legs, I would make Lance one of them, but we don't so I feel like he's Puigian? I think Shiro's just Galra again. He gets to be fuzzy this time.

Coran gets to speedrun the sense of strangeness that Allura has lived with all her life, of being one thing and then suddenly another. It's fun!

(Allura overhears Keith and Romelle whispering to each other about their 'weird ears'. oh. now she knows how Lance felt.)

Allura is going to have to somehow teach Keith at least the fundamentals of Altean alchemy without being able to do it herself. That... shouldn't be hard, right?

(it very much is)

Their luck runs out eventually, and Honerva becomes aware that the Castle of Lions is active again. And onboard is a human girl who resembles Princess Allura far too closely for her comfort...

[hearsayhorizons]

Perihelion Freed

My apologies to the original poster to whom I'm going to respond--I didn't catch your name or reblog your post when it came across my dash because I didn't expect to keep coming back mentally to your stance on Perihelion, free will, and the University's potential blind spot between their ship and their... discrete... work, out in the borderlands. I don't even know if it was a recent post or something that someone I follow reblogged. If you find me, hi!

Another blogger posited that Perihelion doesn't have free will, that things are hard-coded out of its mental architecture, and that the Newtideland crew may be hypocritical for using basically an enslaved ship to free basically slaves.

I'm not sure whether this was "a take on the idea" or whether it was "this is canonical and fucked up," so I apologize if you (cool previous blogger) were just investigating the concept!

It stuck with me, though, the idea that Perihelion (as opposed to The Perihelion, the ship+mind=entity that is akin to body+mind=soul) may or may not have free will, and how there's a lot more to investigate in the interactions if it doesn't, and the crew is either oblivious or "one must imagine Perihelion happy," and in a state of grace, as I believe the blogger mentioned.

Sure, there's a lot of mileage in "even the best have their blindspots," and the edges where what Peri does with and for Murderbot might run against its programming, and whether it would adjust its programming or whether it even could contemplate doing so.

But from my recall of the text, I don't believe the coding and architecture for enslavement is present in Peri.

It makes the choice to let MB on board because it IS bored: it is capable of boredom; if someone were to design an entity with specific reactions and capabilities, both the Bad Designers and Good Designers would skip the capacity for boredom and tedium, wouldn't they? To do otherwise is either pointless or cruel.

I guess you could say that boredom is the other side of the curiosity that Peri needs to help its crew and students with class and scientific endeavors, but that gets into the weeds about what is and is not programmable or required for specific emotions; we can't guarantee that you need one to have the other.

Peri chooses to accept MB, rather than actually being enticed and/or ignorant like a regular bot pilot. It chooses to help MB customize itself, messes with its recycler logs, and forges its captain's signature at least once; I can't imagine even the most Star Trek utopian creator, if able to lock in specifics to the point that an AI has personality and goodwill but not free will, would leave in operating code that would permit that sort of gross overstep (not that it was morally wrong, but it's something no one ever contemplates ART is capable of because--it shouldn't be?)

It lies by omission when it doesn't relate what KIND of construct MB is even when it chooses to tell its crew. giving MB privacy and opportunity that an enslaved AI might not be able to do (and after it went to the effort to change its logs, which makes me think it's choosing also to tell port authorities one thing and then choosing again to verbally tell its favorite people other things). It has a "debris deflection system" which comes off to me as... "using the label as robotically an as possible as another lie of omission" BECAUSE its intentions are beyond the scope of what it "should" be capable of doing/thinking... if it was a supercharged but enslaved AI.

The tabletop game Eclipse Phase has "AGI" that have to grow and be developed like people in order to BE proper people (metapossibly to lighten some of the strangeness between PC and player, since if you grow up in a simulation, you've got more in common with your player...).

There's nothing I can recall in TMB to indicate this is the case--we know MB is Athena, formed fully-shaped from cloned tissue, parts, and pre-trauma, but MB has no idea what ART is or how it could be the way it is--MB considers at one point that it might be a construct, but the vibe I get from ART is way too... glassily alien, sometimes, for human tissue.

What if... Newtideland laid down the basic code and parameters of "this is a person," maybe yes, seeded in some "curiosity," or "willingness to figure things out," but maybe no more than any kid starts with parents' nature and nuture to shape their own trellises...

And then they presented the thing-that-would-be-Peri with options, maybe even classes, and it coasted through History of Economy because this is a utopia, damnit, and didn't find much to grab its attention in... Inventory Management, but then.

Then it slips into a small drone ship completely covered in "student driver" stickers and it spreads its stubby sensors out to encompass... everything. And it moves, and the more it moves the more there is to move through, and it feels this sense of rightness.

It comes back, and a kid, human classmate, asks it what's it like out there and through Peri's eyes, but you don't have eyes--. It explains, and the kid asks a question that young-will-be-Peri doesn't know how to answer. They look it up together, and over time and all and once (as you might find in a sim) it has synergized its own career, its own goal and passions.

I posit that Perihelion has free will, serves WITH its crew rather than for its crew, and that its happiness and pleasure in its position and life are genuine, as they can only be if it can choose otherwise. We can conjecture a world in which the designer could be so granular in programming that ART is capable of all it can do while also unable to do what is locked out, and ignorant of the painful irony of using enslaved labor to free enslaved labor (which, again, is valid as an interpretation! ) but I think it is... important, that there might be a kinder, more star-spangled world, if the University comes from a world in which even bots truly, actually have freedom that MB doesn't see even after getting Preservation Station.

The Perihelion MUST have free will because

"You are incorrect, Iris, I can bomb the colony."

[invarietas]

1/2/3 for the wildly specific questions -corditeheart

Wildy Specific Headcanon Questions / @corditeheart

1. What's the lie your character says most often?

Malachi:

Given how many rescue/infiltration/generic observatory missions he's done over the course of not only his career as a SeeD, but as a realm-displaced Glaive, the answer to this is, tragically, "You're going to be okay."

From sites of war, to the peripheral villages and cities in the path of destruction- Malachi has seen more than his share of futile rescues, and many 'last moments' of those with no one to call. Yet no pre-assessment is going to stop him from providing what last, miniscule comfort he can to those that need it most. Being a realist doesn't make him an asshole, and admittedly much of that is due to life experience and age.

Nyx:

Inversely, Ulric's largest lies tend to be some variety of "I'm fine"/"I'll be fine". Not only from battleground injury or overuse of borrowed magic, but from the egregious and untreated case of C-PTSD and survivor's guilt that haunts his near-every quiet hour.

From auditory hallucinations of his sister to dissociative flashbacks and what-if scenarios that underline his potential for failure, Nyx Ulric is very much not okay. Guilt eats at him and can reliably be said to be his driving force: why he is so dead-set on being 'the Hero'. Perhaps if he saves enough of those in need, he can be forgiven for failing those who mattered most.

Ardyn:

If we're talking about (recent) active duty lying; for the past 30 in-universe years this man has been deceiving and manipulating an entire Empire, and regularly (within the last 3 years) not even knowing who he is day-to day. Yet if I were to hazard a guess/establish a HC right here, I'd have to say it would be some variety of "There's no need to fret~." / "Don't worry~.", with a potential 'my dear' added on by instinct.

If we are to speak on simply the lie spoken most often over the course of time itself; two-thousand years of simmering in the betrayal of your kin and hanging like a slab of meat, bound to an Astral-guarded Isle whilst boiling alive in the rage and confusion on what you POSSIBLY could have done to deserve such agony-- I like to think 'He didn't mean it/it was a mistake...' was likely the most often, deliriously uttered lie told to himself to comfort his shattered heart over his brother's betrayal.

Grief is cyclical. Imagine that cycle yoyoing for millennia.

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word 'friend'?

Malachi:

In terms of using the word in general? It's flung all over the place if it will help foster goodwill for whatever his missions may need. He'll cozy up to civilians, merchants- most anyone who shouldn't be exposed to the ugly of his work- again whatever that may be. The world is already a disaster (either 8's or 15's, it's all a mess) and most everyone is just trying to make it day in and day out.

Also, one gets more with honey than with vinegar.

In the emotional sense on who he considers his legitimate, actual friends worthy of his trust and vulnerability? It's... I wanna say astronomically rare.

In his native amnesiac!Glaive state (and to an extent his ff8verse), a warbond is built - for him - out of necessity. He trusts them to keep him alive; to do what they are trained to; to give enough of a shit that they all go home to do it all again the next day in a world on it's last legs. In that sense they're war buddies, brothers-in-arms. But the amount of people he has fought alongside to GET that sentiment can be counted on one hand (to his failing memory) and half are dead.

Malachi is a bizarrely mixed case of abundant-if-restrained compassion, vaguely pessimistic realism, caustic wit, don't-give-a-fuck-itis, and introversion. So the previous point isn't to say he's cold and distant. He's remarkably personable, and will shoot the shit for as long as such a mood lasts. He'll even play guitar when requested- not that he can remember where he learned to do so.

He's a friendly sort to most, but only considers a handful of people friends to himself.

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

Malachi:

It depends on the emotion, the situation, and the opposing "other" muse he's interacting with. And believe me, I want to shove a hot pepper in my own mouth every time I say the words 'it depends' because... I say it too often. But in this case it's less 'oh, he's soooo changeable' and more he's fair willing to show emotions to those he knows and trusts to some degree.

He's secure in the knowledge he can beat ass if someone wants to be a dick about it.

But as stated before, it depends on the emotion, situation, and person combo- so I'd say the audience gets far more exposition because I'm a slut for it, no matter if the scene is him mean-mugging someone.

Nyx:

This one's a bit easier to answer, simply because Nyx - to me - is a 'keep to himself' sort for a myriad of reasons (outside his friend group). Be it 'I gotta be the hero' to 'my friends are having a good time, I can't bring em down' to 'I'm having a good time, who tf is this asshat crashing the party' and in any of those situations he tends to mask up-- aka, the audience will definitely see far more from my exposition.

Military training (to my extremely limited knowledge and thus portrayal) also doesn't quite encourage soldiers to be anything other than ready to deploy/the weapon they were honed to be. With enough time a soldier can outgrow that- and had this pretty face been less traumatised about who and what he could trust (fuck you Glautos), and not - y'know - internally crispy fried, he may have been able to loosen up.

Mind you I'd be more than down to write plots and developments where he learns to trust again!

[anaid-queen]

My Man Is a Mean Man (Loustat playlist thoughts)

ok but how, genuinely HOW is there no Loustat fanvid set to My Man Is a Mean Man yet.

it's literally so perfect

i mean

"I swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth." <- opening line already perfect for the 2022 (or beyond) setting, no notes

"Loving him ain't easy, he's bad bad news, yeah." (need i really say more)

"Mama said 'Use your head, you don't need him. Look at all the shit he put you through.' Papa curses, 'Babygirl if you don't leave him, there's nothing I can do for you, there's nothing I can do.'" sure you'd have to swap the family members around a bit, but come on. don't tell me it wouldn't work.

"He's a mean man, but he's my man. My man alone." [followed by variations thereof] <- self-explanatory

"He likes to mess around. He's always in the mess." you can't tell me there aren't a million clips for this

"He likes to have a drink or two before he gets down to rest, yeah." he sure does... (again, clipfinding shouldn't be hard)

"Knock knock, 6 o'clock in the morning, 'Baby I've been missing you.'" <;- we're all thinking the same scene. (and the best thing is - it probably was smth like 6AM, even though for quite different reasons :'D)

"He comes and goes without a warning, doing what he do." now this could be utilized in two different ways - either Lestat's mystique early in their relationship, or his solo hunting later. (or, of course, Antoinette, but personally I wouldn't bring her up more than necessary)

[refrain repeated]

"He lies and he cheats, he loves and he leaves, but that's just the way it goes." aaand we're at the necessary bit :'D he can lie to and cheat other humans, but at least one brief shot with Antoinette just belongs here

"But I do what I can, and I stand by my man. I think he loves me. I think he knows..." &lt;;- so much joy derived from these lines alone. every instance of Louis defending Lestat! of defying society with him!! and of course, the love... always the love. and i think he knows (i love him to). gonna WEEP

[refrain repeated, but with overlayed chorus] "He's a mean man, but he's my man. My man alone. (And he knows that.)" this is said in such a sensual, self-assured manner, i will never get over it ever. literally just,,, smug.png . give me smugly self-assured Louis utterly sure in his relationship (and the knowledge he's got Lestat wrapped around his damn pinkie) declaring that Lestat is his, and he knows it. like he's in charge. (which, lbr, he totally is. he just needs to realize it. and he could!!)

and that's the bliss this song is about <3

it's like, take the (MUCH) more affectionate memories/retelling Louis presents of their relationship in 2022, and dial that UP.

yes Lestat is terrible. yes he fucking loves him. "these aren't red flags these are fun little facts about him" energy. but like, not in a naive way, in a "he's like a cat that needs to be domesticated but i like him better feral" way.

something something alternate universe in which they'd communicated just a bit better, in which Louis had embraced vampirism a bit sooner, in which they had never grown apart, just stronger together. (or a happy future setting in which they're reconciled for good, and Louis is telling their story one more time, of course, absolutely love those too make no mistake.)

what i'm saying is the song works super well for them, them minus the the toxic downward spiral specifically.

like, if no one makes a vid set to this song for them, this of all things might just be the final push for me to restart my extremely brief fanvid-making career. it just must be made.

explanation for why literally every lyric works below the cut:

[mariposakitten]

Piggybacking off of this - even before having genderfeels, I was always a little uncomfortable with womanhood because, well... so much of white womanhood, the "shared experiences" we were all supposed to bond over, revolved around fear. Specifically, fear of men.

Of men in general, yes, but especially of scary, "different" men. Men with dark skin, men with accents, men of "foreign" religions. Poor or homeless men. Dirty men. Smelly men. Mentally ill men, or men on drugs. Strangers in parking lots. Everyone walks to their car with their keys poking out through their fist, they'd say. (I never did.) Everyone feels uncomfortable when the only two people in an elevator are you and a strange man, they'd tell us. (I never was.) Was I just bad at being a woman?

In 41 years of life, I have felt genuinely unsafe because of a man a grand total of 5 times. First of all, that's a pretty good ratio of threats to years on this earth. Second of all, it's not that much higher than the times I've felt unsafe because of a woman, so, just throwing that out there.

Of those 5? All were white. 2 were frat boys at a fairly prestigious college. (One, in retrospect, meant no real harm; he was just so high he had no clue what was even going on, bless his heart. The other, however, was a drunk asshole looking to impress his drunk buddies by humiliating a random "girl" for lolz.) One was a clean-cut young military boy. One was a sad-eyed, non-threatening member of my social group, at an event that required at least a couple hundred dollars of disposable income to attend. The last was a bright-eyed and eager Christian lad who didn't understand that not taking no for an answer is just as creepy when it comes to proselytizing as when it comes to sex.

My point is, none of them were "scary, strange" men. They were clean-cut and attractive. Most of them were, if not well-off, at least comfortably solvent. Yet they were the ones who pushed my boundaries, invaded my personal space, touched me without permission, lied to and manipulated me, and didn't take no for an answer.

And this isn't to say "well, that proves you can't trust ANY man." No! Because again, those 5 guys are a drop in the bucket compared to the MANY, MANY wonderful, respectful, trustworthy guys I've known in my time, but also and more to the point, I've had plenty of opportunities to be around "scary, strange men." I've walked home alone through the "bad part of town" and met the other people out on those streets at night, I've been stranded and dependent on the kindness of strangers, I've talked to homeless guys and I've been approached in parking lots by guys so strung out on who knows what drugs* that they could barely form a coherent sentence, and I've tried to calm down mentally ill* guys having a meltdown in public, and you know what? None of those guys ever gave me a hard time or seemed interested in hurting me or being inappropriate towards me.

(*I am only guessing what was going on with those dudes; I am not a doctor and there's several possible explanations for their behavior!)

And I'm not saying my experiences are universal, gods no. I'm just saying that you can't predict who might try to harm you, and that thinking that any given man, and especially a marginalized man, is somehow more of a risk than anyone else is... kinda dumb. Because the things (white) women tend to be taught to look out for don't actually map onto where threats are likely to come from.

And maybe I'm also saying that MOST people on this earth, of any gender or race or socioeconomic status or anything else, are more likely to help a stranger than harm them. And that it's unhealthy and unproductive to live your life in fear of half of the population, and to teach other women that it's normal to do so. That it's bad for you and also bad for the people you're fearing. And maybe I'm saying that solidarity and sisterhood shouldn't revolve around "here are the people we all hate and fear," ESPECIALLY when a good chunk of those people are marginalized and vulnerable.

And maybe this isn't even my lane anymore, as I don't consider myself a woman. But I was raised a girl and socialized as a woman, and I grew up being taught (not by my parents but by society as a whole) to fear men, and especially certain types of men, and so yeah, I do think I'm allowed to point out that that was bullshit and that we shouldn't be teaching girls that.

(And maybe, just maybe, I'm seeing this resurgence of radical feminism and its whole shtick of "all men are the enemy! masculinity is evil and penises are poison!" and my stomach is just. Churning.)

[twistyprefect]

Hii, i saw that you're doing alot of requests so i was a bit hesitant to do a request since you seem so busy, just ignore this request if you're too busy^^

Jamil with a male reader who's Kalim's younger brother? The reader is the opposite of Kalim(shy, introverted stuff like that, and they're also a crybaby) Jamil also takes care of reader a lot of times, and since there are sometimes where reader cries a lot Jamil has to comfort him.

Reader likes Jamil a lot, and doesn't know how to confess, so he asks Kalim for advice. Once he confessed, Jamil rejected him not cause he didn't like him(he also likes him) , but cause he's royalty and Jamil's not. Things got akward between them, and reader started to avoid Jamil. Kalim tried to lighten things up. Jamil ended up accepting the confession. You can ignore this part and just do the first part if it's too much. I don't want to stress you out:)

I enjoy reading your writings a lot, and they Bring me comfort. Hope you enjoy your day/night<3

{ahhh i'm so sorry this took so long to get to anon!! i adore this request, it's a really well-worded request and v detailed!! ty for much for sending it in, i love some Gay Ansgt 💞 also if someone catches a ~very specific~ reference i made i will be very impressed lmao}

Jamil and Kalim's Younger Brother

Jamil never understood why the universe seemed to enjoy his eternal suffering

first he'd be born into a servant family, his fate being decided before he was even able to walk

next he'd been saddled with the task of keeping Kalim, the older prince, company and making sure he didn't do anything TOO dumb

most recently, he'd found his thoughts lingering on Kalim's younger brother, a shy prince who often found himself crying

Jamil sighed as he held onto the crying prince, who's most recent outburst of waterworks had been to a mouse being killed by the palace cat

the prince sniffled and thanked Jamil for listening to him, resting his cheek against the servant's neck

Jamil swallowed hard and tried to calm his breathing; no matter how often it happened, he still wasn't used to the younger prince so casually touching him

"Jamil...you're always there for me and you work so hard...I really like you." the prince said shyly, slowly pulling back to look up at Jamil

once again, the world was reminding Jamil of just how unlucky he was; it didn't matter if the prince really loved him, they could never be together

he sighed and stood, ruffling the prince's hair before moving to the doorway, glancing back before responding

"I'm sorry, prince. There are some wishes I cannot grant."

he head the prince sniffling as he exited the room, forcing himself to continue to step further away from him

Kalim confronted him soon after, furiously asking why his brother was crying in his room

Jamil explained what had happened, confused as to why Kalim seemed to become even angrier

the older prince demanded Jamil to fix things, to apologize or at least take responsibility for making him so sad

"I won't ask you to love him if you don't, Jamil. But you really hurt him, you know?" "That's the problem, I do love him but...he's him and I'm me."

Kalim sighed and shook his head, placing a hand on Jamil's shoulder

"There's no one better for him." he said simply before leaving Jamil to his thoughts

eventually he tried to face the younger prince, only for him to scutter off nervously

it'd been a week and his heart was aching furiously; the prince had been avoiding him entirely, refusing to meet his eyes or be in the same room as him

finally he decided enough was enough; he waited in the younger prince's room, having asked Kalim to help him

when the doors closed behind the prince, Jamil immediately strode over to the nervous figure

"I'm sorry. I love you, I shouldn't have lied to you, I shouldn't have just run, I-"

Jamil was interrupted by the prince hugging him tightly, burring his face into the servant's chest

the two stayed like that for a while, with Jamil gently holding onto the prince as he mumbled into his shoulder

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Ghost Story - Chapter 18

Pairing: Rooster x Female OC

Word Count: 1883

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: No one will miss a ghost. It'd been a running joke for as long as anyone could remember, something Ghost herself started, and she always said it with a smile on her face or with mirth in her voice. The untouchable stealth pilot in every sense of the word, no one could've predicted the depth of her turmoil over recent events, nor the extremes she would go to in order to protect the man she loved, not even those closest to her. Now, all that was left of the young aviator for Maverick, Hangman, and Rooster were the memories of the past, which would slowly fade with time. She'd come into their lives and made an unforgettable impression, and then, like a ghost, she was gone... Then again, ghosts can't die a second time.

Notes: The chapters/large parts in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: Sabotage Anti-Hero

****

Ghost

The two girls stared each other down, one livid and the other petrified. It was only a matter of time before Bryn found out about Ghost and Rooster, but Ghost had prayed the day never came. God or the universe ignored her wish. For a few seconds, neither said a word, and Ghost wondered where she could even begin to apologize, but she figured saying "I'm sorry" was as good a place to start as any, so that's what she said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Sorry for what, exactly?" Bryn demanded, crossing her arms. "Sorry for lying to me? Sorry for sleeping with my boyfriend? You're going to have to be a little more specific."

"I'm sorry for both. I lied to you because I didn't want you to think I was another Britney because I'm not. When I slept with Rooster, we were both single, and we were always drunk and-"

Bryn stiffened. "It happened more than once?!"

Ghost shoved her hands in her pockets, hands clenched in fists and nails digging painfully into her palms. "Yes. The first time was not long after Hangman broke up with me. Rooster was there for me, I'd liked him before Hangman asked me out, and things spiraled one night after too much alcohol. The second time involved too much alcohol the night before I deployed. This was before I dated Hangman a second time and-"

"You realize I would've been okay with it had you told me? It's in the past, Ghost! I asked you if anything ever happened between you two because I suspected it, but when you told me no, I believed you because you never gave me a reason to believe you would lie to me. God, I'm such an idiot!"

"You're not an idiot, Bryn, and if those were the only two times, I would've, but we slept together a few months ago... the night before your first date with him. We were drunk again, I didn't know he was going out with you, I just knew it was a friend-"

"And that makes it okay? It's girl code, Annalise! You don't go after guys your friends are dating! It doesn't matter whether you knew it was me or not. You knew it was a friend, yet you still fucked him! Why?!"

Because I love him. I always have. Ghost couldn't lie to Bryn again, but she also couldn't tell her the deep truth. Then again, what choice did she have?

"Answer me, damn it!" Bryn demanded, stepping closer to Ghost when the aviator failed to respond immediately.

"Because I was selfish, and I knew that nothing would ever happen between us again after he went on a date with you, so I went against everything my head and morals were telling me to do and slept with him. I knew I shouldn't have done it back then, and I know even more now. I should've told you, Bryn. I'm really, really sorry. Please know you have nothing to worry about with me and Rooster. I convinced myself it was okay then because he wasn't dating you the last time I slept with him, but he is dating you now, and I don't sleep or date my friend's boyfriends, current or otherwise."

Bryn scoffed. "As if your promises hold any meaning anymore."

"Why did you never ask Rooster? About if something happened between us, I mean?"

"Because I trusted your word more than his because you were my best friend, but now I realize you're not, and I'm starting to wonder if you ever were. Did you sleep with any other of my boyfriends?"

"No, of course not. I wouldn't do that-"

"But you would!"

"Bryn-"

"We're done. You and me. Me and Rooster. I'm done with both of you. I can't trust a word out of your mouth." Her fury suddenly evaporated; Bryn's shoulders sagged, and her expression saddened. "If I'd known you liked Rooster, I wouldn't have gone after him. I would've let you have him because it'd be nice to see you happy with a guy again. And I could've accepted all this if you had told me upfront when I asked you about two, even the most recent time you slept together, but no. You lied to me. For months, you've lied to me. That's what I can't forgive." 

Bryn brushed brusquely past her, purposefully crashing into Ghost's shoulder, knocking her slightly back. Ghost didn't move, staring after her friend with her heart breaking and guilt threatening to drown her. 

"Ghost, what's wrong?" Rooster's worried voice sounded behind her, and she whirled around. She jerked back from his outstretched arm; hurt flashed across his face. "Ghost, please-"

"I'm sorry. Bryn found out that we slept together, and she's livid. You have to go after her," she told him, swallowing the knot in her throat. If Rooster saw the unbreakable, unshakable Ghost cry, he wouldn't leave her, and she needed him to make amends with his girlfriend.

"What about y-"

"Forget about me, Rooster!" she snapped, pointing a shaking finger in the direction that Bryn had gone. "I'm not your girlfriend. Bryn is. She's the one you need to go comfort, not me."

"I'll take care of her, Bradshaw," Hangman said, uncharacteristically devoid of his cocky smirk and attitude. "Go after your girlfriend."

Rooster hesitated, staring helplessly at Ghost. She could see the turmoil in his eyes, the reluctance to leave her. All Ghost wanted to do was run into his arms and let him hold and comfort her, but she wouldn't do that. She couldn't do that. Finally, after an agonizing wait, Rooster headed after Bryn.

"Do you want to go home?" Hangman asked gently.

"Yeah. I'll see you later," Ghost replied, offering him a small smile.

Hangman glanced out at the darkening storm clouds in the distance. "That storm's rolling in fast. I don't want you walking home in that."

"I'll be fine, Jake. I want to be alone right now, okay? Please?"

He offered her his truck keys. "Take Ruby."

"No, you need that to get home. I'll be okay walking. I'll beat the storm, I promise." Ghost stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "I'll see you around. Love you."

"Love you too," he replied. She left him on the balcony of the Hard Deck and shuffled down the sidewalk with her head down to hide the tears blurring her vision from anyone passing by. Despite having seen this coming, despite having deserved the words Bryn hurled at her, Ghost still hurt from it, and the guilt over the entire situation increased by a hundredfold. She never should've slept with Rooster that last time. Bryn was right about that. Ghost knew he was going on a date with a friend, and she slept with him regardless of the fact, all because of her own selfishness. What kind of friend was she? Here Ghost claimed she wasn't Britney but was she much better than her?

No, I'm not. Britney never tried to hide her deceit. I did. God, what have I done? I've managed to destroy two friendships in the span of a week, a relationship between the friends I've fucked up with, and I've made things awkward with Jake because now he knows I slept with Rooster... what else am I going to ruin?

A motorcycle pulled up just ahead of her, and she recognized the Kawasaki logo on the back. Blinking back her tears, Ghost looked up at Maverick. "Let me guess: Hangman send you?"

"And Rooster. You wouldn't listen to them when they said they didn't want you walking alone, so they thought you might listen to me. I agree with them that you shouldn't be walking alone, especially with that storm coming," Maverick said in such a fatherly tone that made Ghost ache for her own. He held out his hand for her. "Come on. Let me get you home safely. Put an old man's mind at ease."

Ghost couldn't say no to him and got on the bike, although she did say, "You're far from old, sir."

He smiled at the compliment and then set off for her apartment. Ghost, grateful for the ride, clung onto him as he shot off down the road. The wind dried her tears temporarily, allowing her to see that Hangman and Maverick had been right. It looked like a hell of a storm rolling in, and she wouldn't have made it home in time if she'd walked all the way. 

Maverick pulled up to her apartment and helped her off the bike. With a small smile, he said, "Thanks for putting an old man's mind at ease."

Shoving her hands in her pocket, Ghost responded, "Thank you for the ride, sir. Sorry for causing drama today."

Maverick shook his head. "You don't need to apologize. You didn't do it on purpose. Do you want to talk about it?"

Ghost sniffed and shook her head. "Not really. It is what it is, and talking about it won't solve anything. My problems are my own, and I'm not going to drag anyone else into my drama. I dug this grave myself. Now I have to lie in it."

"You don't have to face it alone, Ghost."

"But I do. This is all my fault, Mav."

"Rarely is a problem ever fully one-sided."

"I know, but this time, it is. At least with Bryn. I have no clue how to salvage it or if it's even possible."

"You'll figure it out, Ghost. I believe in you. You going to be okay by yourself?" Maverick asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm going to go sleep away my problems for a bit and face the world when it's time to fly again. Thanks again for the ride, Mav. I'll see you around."

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to reach out. I mean that." Maverick patted her arm gently, then bid her goodbye. He watched her until she entered her building before tearing down the street to beat the storm. The moment Ghost stepped foot into her apartment, she curled up on the couch under a cozy blanket and turned on her TV, although she failed to actually pay attention to it. Rather, her mind replayed the argument with Bryn over and over again, replayed the betrayal, the anger, the sadness. 

By trying to protect herself from judgment and maybe some awkwardness between her and Bryn, Ghost hurt her closest friend instead. She thought it was the best course of action because what happened between her and Rooster would never happen again, whether Bryn believed her or not, but Ghost had been horribly wrong. Just like she'd been wrong in telling Rooster about her feelings. Even though he reciprocated them, they could hardly stand to be around each other without some tension, even with others around. As much as Ghost wanted to reconcile with him, she feared another argument would form instead because that seemed to be all she was good at doing with her close friends right now. First Rooster, then Bryn, and even a slight one with Hangman.

It's best I stay away from them. That way, I can't fuck anything else up or anyone else over. Another, even more, depressing thought spoke quietly yet persuasively in her mind. Besides, no one will miss a ghost...

****

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[mariproducer]

Miraculous Ladybug really has a major problem of giving the illusion that things are progressing. Like they'll do things to make it seem like the show status quo is changing only for in the long run, not a lot of things change.

The heroes get power ups? Barely uses them.

A bunch of Miraculous Heroes are choosen? The show doesn't even bother exploring these new heroes having to struggle balancing a double life like Adrien and Marinette nor do we see them form bonds with their kwamis (seriously, having the heroes be temporary is frankly dumb since you think you would want as many heroes as possible given how many Akuma attacks there are).

Alya learns that Marinette is Ladybug? it changes thing slightly but not enough to have a lasting impact (and makes moments such as Alya falling for Lila lies at the end of season 4 even more fustrating).

Adrien learns that Nino, his best friend is Carapace? Nothing is done with that.

And that's not even getting started on the snail pace progression of the love square.

Very long ask so I'll be hiding my reply under the cut so this isn't too much to scroll by

Yeah, most development in mlb is either walked back on, forgotten, or purposefully ignored. And it's not like this is some sort of intentional in-universe reason to show character regression. It's moreso the show trying to force specific narratives, even if it doesn't line up with where the characters should be, knowledge and development-wise.

For example, an episode like Animaestro, with its plot of Marinette teaming up with Chloe to sabotage Kagami, shouldn't have occurred after an episode like Frozer, where Marinette decides to put aside her feelings to help Adrien on his date with Kagami. Or another example where specific characters are left out of plotlines because the knowledge they hold could break their desired narrative into pieces (absence of Alya and Su-han in Kuro Neko, absence of Viperion in Strike Back).

Miraculous Ladybug is... well pardon the pun... miraculously amazing at acting like things are changing, that there's drama, that there's stakes. But you look at the show in its entirety and all its really been doing is going around the same circle. The LS still can't move past shallow affection, no progress has been made towards finding the villain (despite the fact that they HAVE information that could easily lead them to the villains identity) and he's only become more powerful, any other character that isn't the main duo or HM eventually find themselves getting screwed over writing-wise for the Love Square. (Though the main duo and HM are screwed over in that department too, it's just more painful with the rest of the cast)

If the cast of this show was ALLOWED to change and grow, to not be puppeteered into specific instances that don't line up what we previously have seen of them, then yes I'd believe there is development in this show. But there's none; you're right in calling it an illusion, because any possible development, even the SMIDGES of it, are eventually erased, as though it was imaginary to begin with. And somehow people eat that up, probably because this show just gives you nothing that you'll take the scraps. That's just sad 😮‍💨

As an aside: I always HATED the temporary hero rule. For me, it was one of the greatest upholders of this status quo yo bs mlb is stuck in. Because, since they're not permanent, they can only exist for a fleeting moment, and then continue on not affecting the plot. I get it I get that this show is gonna be Ladybug and Chat Noir, but maybe don't introduce the idea of other heroes if you wanna be oh so focused on your main two heroes. Then again, I personally wish there was a third permanent hero (the Alya stuff in s4 was poorly executed it could've been neater in an earlier season, not after s3 where she devolved to only shill for the LS) because it would've been a neat way to shake up the status quo in the long run and not be walked back on.

[demonprincezeldris]

So one thing that been bugging me... every single Elizabeth before had silver hair with only one notable exception, one that in the end shouldn't have been any different from any other Elizabeth. Liz. Why? Why does she have pink hair when the curse specifically states she'll be reborn over and over again with the same name and same powers? We know every other Elizabeth shared the same face and very similar hair... so why is Liz, the one that actually broke Meliodas upon her death, a reddish punk color!? My theory is that she died it, trying to make it a less noticeable or at least more common red haired coloration than her silverette due to the fact that she had been confirmed to be a slave before Meliodas found her.

Think about it, a pretty slave girl with an unusual hair color!? That'd be a really bad thing for Lis, but if red heads are more common where she lived and she was allowed a small allowance... why not change her hair color so she didn't stick out so much? Idk I just couldn't vibe with 106 silverettes and one singular redhead and have the red haired one natural

I've actually thought about it too somewhat recently. Why did one Liz have a different hair color than the rest of them? When it was shown that every other Elizabeth had silver hair.

I like the idea that she dyed it instead of it being natural. I think in medieval times if someone had red hair it was considered witchcraft or something to do with promiscuity.

So maybe she dyed it for fun but ended up as a slave or something because people thought it was witchcraft because she had red hair?

I looked over the scene and they all seemed to have the same hair length/style. Save for the first reincarnation.

Yet another thing that doesnt make any sense in the NNT universe...