#but the whole fandom needs to see this so im putting it in the tags
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HOW DID I NOT GET NOTIFIED ABOUT THIS!? Im not tagging anyone, it’s open tags because I don’t have that many people to tag xD
So for those who don’t know, I chose Storm because she’s my main OC who also became my online persona.
StormyBlueberry came around eventually because her hair is a blue to purple ombré and I couldn’t get her being a blueberry out of my head.
Now that’s just the short story.
The long story is… Well, let’s start at when I first made her.
Imagine a 10-year-old Stormy who doesn’t enough know about or write fanfiction yet. I’d been on the internet since I was little, only at my dad’s house though. That’s where she got all my YouTube content until my stepdad gave her a phone. Technically, it was his one kid’s that we no longer talk to, but shhh, it was my phone from that day forward.
One day, just for fun, I started thinking about myself in one of my favourite series. For the life of me, I can’t remember which story I tried to self-insert myself into, I think it was the Rainbow Magic series? Don’t ask how little old American Stormy got a children’s book series written by people in Britain, but she did.
When I turned 14, though, is when I finally put pen to paper for her. First it was Quotev for a short stint of time, then it turned into Wattpad for my entire high school writing career.
First, she was just Storm because I’d used her in a fanfic with Jacksepticeye, crankgameplays, Nathan Sharp, PewDiePie, Markiplier, their egos, and of course, [Y/N] as the main cast.
I need to go back and delete that story now that I think about it… It’s not really me as a person anymore…
Anyways, while I was in the middle of writing that fic on Quotev, I’d found fanfictions from the fandom of a Minecraft FNAF rp my best friend, Hollywood, had gotten me into. It spiralled from there, because FNAF quickly became one of my biggest hyperfixations.
From that moment on, Storm was a multi-fandom OC. She was in the FNAF universe, and TheFamousFilms was my outlet for a short stint of time.
Then came Bendy (her husband), then Baldi’s Basics, then all of my other hyperfixations… And a whole list of last names.
Her main one, of course, is Afton.
Her next main ones are Lawrence and Drew, Lawrence because her dad is Sammy Lawrence, and Drew because of the OC I use a lot in Bendy fics that is actually Joey Drew’s son, Ben, who actually got tossed into the ink machine and turned into Bendy.
His sister, Ryan/Reanna, is shipped with my other Anti and another OC. Ben was originally created by the same person who made Reanna (who, btw is trans, mtf) but I stole Ben and made him my OC.
My online bestie was cool with me stealing him, just throwing that out there.
Now the Blueberry part, that actually came about in a roleplay that me and my online bestie were doing in a Google doc after we lost the third member of our group and before we moved said rp to Discord.
Yes I roleplay, so kindly shut.
Anyways, I kept coming up with many different nicknames for Storm related to her hair colour. I kept going from Bluejay, to Bluebird, to Bluey (this was before the show came out), to Blues Clues, to eventually Blueberry.
That one stuck, obviously.
I originally went by NightmareStorm on Quotev, then NightmareStorm102603 on Wattpad, then changed my Wattpad to StormAfton102603, then nixed the Afton and changed that one tiny part of the name to Films, then eventually changed it to Storm_The_Blueberry on both Wattpad and Archive of Our Own when I got invited there.
So there! That’s my story.
Edit: I lied I’m tagging @firequeenofficial just so she can see it, she already shared her username story, she doesn’t have to go again. Open tags still!
Tag game🎉
Tag your moots and ask them where they got the idea for their tumblr accounts name!
For my name it was a nickname I was giving back in middleschool! One of our teacher had a system where we worked with 'wifi' eachtime we talked in class we lost a bar of the "wifi" (was a weird joke and we never held count on that) All the kids usually joked if they needed 'wifi' , they would borrow mine if they wanted to talk more. (I was incredibly shy in middle school, I only talked to like 3 people at school;^;)
They called me Ms. Wifi because of that. I just thought it would be funny if I put 'miss' instead of 'ms' because of my terrible actual wifi connection I have at home lol.
That's my story! Now moots, only if you guys want to, tell us your story.
Tags-> @slipping-lately @firequeenofficial @noagskryf @twinklstarrrr @halfbakedspuds @polterwasteist @rokushi-san @mygedagtes +anyone that sees this and wants to do this as well
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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。⋆ʚ♡ like father, like son
›› chapter 5 ›› nsfw 18+ ongoing multi-chapter fic!
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ʚ ao3 ɞ / ʚ kofi ɞ / ʚ fic masterlist ɞ
›› toji fushiguro x reader ›› megumi fushiguro x reader ›› toji x reader x megumi (mfm) ›› 18+ f!reader ›› started: 12/6/23 : updated: 1/29/24 : status: ongoing
‹𝟹 summary: You and Megumi are best friends. You've known eachother for almost your whole life. His home has become your second home. As time passes and life happens, Megumi slowly develops feelings for you, even though he's unaware of it. To complicate things further, you're now living with him and his father, who has also taken a liking to you.
‹𝟹 fandom: jjk, jujutsu kaisen
‹𝟹 genres / warnings: au - no powers, college au, power imbalance, pseudo-incest (they both want y/n, nothing w/ eachother), dubious consent
‹𝟹 tags: good cop bad cop, fluff, smut, angst, toji has a big dick, dilf toji, toji is his own warning, toji tries to be a good parent, toji is an asshole, toji is trying okay?, daddy dom toji, daddy kink, porn with feelings, porn with plot, friends to lovers, spit / spitting, spit kink, spit as lube, breeding, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, double vaginal pen, double pen, anal, making out, making love, love triangles, praise kink, degradation, light masochism, light sadism, emotional sex, cuckolding, jealousy, jealousy kink, smoking, smoking kink, emotional manipulation, manipulation, polyamory?, father and son share you, protective megumi fushiguro, megumi needs a hug, megumi has a big dick, AGED UP CHARACTERS, dead dove: do not eat, finger sucking, large cock, cum swallowing, blow jobs, first time blow jobs, under desk blow jobs, fingerfucking, face sitting, face riding, 69, mutual masturbation, threesome mfm, lots of smut, loss of virginity
‹𝟹 notes: hi, sorry this took so long to update! i've had a lot going on lately, but i finally felt good enough to finish this chap! i tried to go for soft megumi but then eventually i couldn't help myself. sowwy x_x (im not sorry :3!) don't try so hard to imagine the positions, just go with it PLSSSS T_T LOL. for tumblr: i'm gonna start adding a section for tags. if y'all wanna be tagged in future updates on this fic or any of my stuff lmk!
<;33
!! - again, PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE CONTINUING - !!
! - ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ - !
Chapter 5: Pink Carnations
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“It’s already almost 5 in the afternoon… and there’s a storm forecasted? Why are they not home yet?” Megumi questioned as he anxiously paced back and forth in the living room. He was worried, not really about the guy who he’s supposed to call ‘father’, but about you. He would never admit it, but he counts the hours, minutes, seconds, moments even when you’re not together. He misses you but feels like he’s not allowed to miss your presence.
Yet… he does. He always does. And that’s why when he sees you come bursting through the front door, clothes soaked but laughing, he’s confused. He knows you hate getting your clothes wet, much less completely soaked through. So why are you in such a good mood? He doesn’t mind, and loves hearing your sweet laugh, but he’s confused, nonetheless. That is, until he sees Toji’s massive frame follow right behind you.
Megumi’s cheeks flare with jealousy, his face flush a crimson red. He stares right at you, loudly asking where you’ve been. He isn’t trying to be mean, but he is mad. “What took you so long in a storm like this? You know it’s dangerous to drive with streets flooded so badly like this.” He finishes, looking straight at Toji, staring daggers into him for even thinking of putting you in a dangerous situation.
“I’m a good driver. You don’t need to worry. And we took a while because we were busy.” Toji smirks slightly at the end of his sentence, moving across the foyer and setting his keys on the table.
You don’t want to feel the uncomfortable sensation of soaked clothes for any longer, so you silently slip out of the room and make your way towards the bathroom.
Toji being Toji, he’s watching every part of you until your silhouette disappears into the dimly lit hallway. He’s watching you like a predator stalks his prey. Megumi’s brows furrow as he feels anger and jealousy boiling beneath his skin. He starts walking up to his father, confronting him, “Why are you looking at her like that, and why are you spending so much time with her in general, you old bastard?” Megumi is practically in Toji’s face, eyes fierce and cheeks flared with anger.
Toji only smirks as he’s leaned against the wall, looking down at Megumi. “I mean, why wouldn’t I? She’s fucking hot, and so obedient. I would be a fool to not want her for myself.” His response almost sends Megumi into a blind rage. Megumi understands Toji most likely takes what he wants from you, sometimes aggressively, and he wants to protect you from that.
“You’re disgusting.” Megumi retorts, words laced with venom. “You make me sick.”
“You can’t deny it though. I’m right. And you know I’m right.” Toji responds before pushing off the wall and away from Megumi towards his own bathroom. Megumi rolls his eyes as Toji walks away, but somewhere deep down inside him- that he’s blind to and wouldn’t even admit to- agrees with Toji. And that’s what pisses him off the most. He feels as if he’s been thrown into a competition to “win” you, one that he is already losing at. Megumi is disgusted with himself at the idea of you being described in terms of a prize, but he also can’t resolve the fact that he wants you. It’s wrong and unfair how someone like Toji could get to you first; Toji doesn’t know you like I do. He doesn’t value you like I do. And thus, Megumi resolves to make you happy in a way no one else can.
--
A few days pass, and nothing really happens between anyone except sneaking glances and private thoughts.
Eventually, Megumi can’t take it anymore. He chooses a night where Toji is out working overnight “hustling’ or whatever the fuck he called it. He ordered your favorite food and went to pick it up, hoping you’d spend some time with him. Even a little bit. On the way home, he picked up a small bouquet of pink carnations- flowers that mean missing someone.
You get back home from your afternoon class shortly before Megumi pulls up in the driveway. You are just barely sitting on the couch before Megumi opens the door and enters, the sight of flowers and bags of food warming your heart. He makes his way towards the table, setting down the food, flowers still in hand, as you hastily get up and hug him.
“It smells amazing, Megs.” You say, holding him tightly. He thinks you’re talking about the food, but you’re most certainly talking about the intoxicating scent of him and his cologne. He smelled like what rainwater personified would smell like, comforting and refreshing.
“It’s gonna get cold, ___. And these are for you.” He finishes as he sheepishly hands you the flowers. You sit at the table, placing the flowers aside as Megumi looks for plates and silverware for you both.
“Thank you, Gumi.” You gently say as you’re taking containers out of bags and unpacking them. “It smells so good!! I can’t believe you remembered what kind of pasta I like.”
Megumi returns to the table, placing silverware and plates down. “You’re welcome. Of course I’d remember. How could I forget?” He’s sure he could see a faint blush creep on your cheeks, but you’re ultimately distracted by your craving for noodles. He chuckles at how you’re practically inhaling the food.
You both talk for a while about how classes have been, what stuff you’ve been watching, just mundane stuff that still shows how deeply interested he is. You know he remembers every detail, no matter how boring it may seem. He never forgets.
--
After finishing the wonderful food and cleaning up together, you’re both relaxing on the couch looking for something to watch together. Usually, you gravitate toward thriller or horror movies, but Megumi picks out some almost cringey – but still cute – romance anime about two people who meet at a convention for a game and fall for each other. It’s not your first choice, but it’s still cute.
Your legs are resting on Megumi’s lap, not moving as you both watch. Megumi is slow, almost cautious when he places a hand on your leg, just rubbing you. He wants to make sure any touch in general is fine as he takes his time, slowly moving up your legs and eventually reaching your thighs. You’re acutely aware of his agonizingly slow touch, but the wait almost makes it better. He’s not even watching whatever he put on, and you’re too caught in the sensations of his soft hands rubbing your inner thighs to even begin to pay attention to the show.
Megumi’s hands continue its ascent up your inner thighs, going painfully slow. He’s looking for any and all reactions he can get out of you, and the way your breath hitches as he gets closer – it drives him insane. The way you try to hide your blush across your cheeks with your arms, trying to look at anything else to save you some embarrassment…. He loves it.
His hand moves to the waistband of your shorts, tugging at them to show he wants to take them off. He hooks his fingers around the waistband and gently pulls them completely off before tossing them to the floor. Megumi’s eyes instantly lock on to your panties. “Fuck, ___... do you always get that wet?” He’s teasing you but also shocked, the underwear was soaked from just a little teasing. You must have really wanted him.
His fingers play with you, rubbing the outside of your underwear as he draws sweet moans from your mouth. He absolutely loves the taking his time, hearing every soft moan you squeak out every time he moves his finger. He pulls your panties to the side, not even bothering to take them off as his long, slender finger slips past your folds. Just as quickly as it appeared, he pulled his finger back to his mouth, tasting a bit of your slick. “You taste so good, baby. Oh my god.” He purrs as he brings another finger back to your cunt, this time pushing into you.
“Fuck, Gumi…”
He fucks you with a single finger as he expertly rearranges you on the couch, one leg hanging off with him in between. He slips another finger inside your tight hole as he brings his mouth to your cunt, flicking his tongue around your clit. The whimpers and pants you make only serve to make Megumi feel like a man starved. Eventually he slips his fingers out, much to your annoyance, and replaces it with his tongue. He’s eating you like a man having his last meal. He wastes no time in tasting every part he can reaching, fucking your cunt with his tongue. His hand creeps back up to your clit, thumb gently circling it as he continues eating you out.
He comes back up for air and inserts his fingers again, fucking you in a rhythm matching his thumb on your clit. You can feel yourself approaching that edge, the knot in your stomach tightening as Megumi stretches your cunt with just his fingers. He adds another finger, stuffing you full of his fingers as his thumb continues its assault on your clit. “You’re such a good girl for me, huh? Did you miss me, baby?”
Your eyes widen as he praises you, feeling yourself reach your limit and cum over his fingers. You make quite the mess over his arms and the couch. “I guess that’s a yes, isn’t it princess?”
He pulls his fingers out of you and reaches for the waistband of his sweatpants, pulling them down. There’s a noticeable small wet spot on his boxers, he was definitely hard and leaking at just teasing you. As much as he loves your mouth, he absolutely wants your already fucked out hole.
He picks you up and turns you over so you’re on your knees, hands on the back of the couch. Megumi aligns himself behind you, gently pushing his throbbing cock into your soaked hole. Your panties are still pushed to the side, creating a lewd sight Megumi hadn’t even anticipated as he watched your cunt swallow his cock.
Your upper body was pushed against the side of the couch, with your knees spread apart and ass in the air. Megumi bottomed out his cock inside your tight hole, pushing against you fully. “You’re such a good girl. Holy fuck.” Megumi wasted no time in picking up speed, developing a comfortable pace. You moan in tandem with his thrusts, turning him on even more. He wants to be gentle with you, but you were taking his dick like a bitch in heat, and he couldn’t be more thrilled about it.
He spanks your ass as he slams his thick cock into you, and you tighten around him in response. He doesn’t realize it now, but soon will understand how masochistic you really are. He slaps your ass, creating red marks all over it to mark his presence. “You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you? You like being fucked like a whore?” He asks as he thrusts into you, hitting your g-spot. “Answer me, princess. Are you a disgusting whore?”
He gives you almost no time to respond as his hand snakes up your back, reaching your head and grabbing fistfuls of hair to pull you back with. “Yes sir, I am” You barely manage to squeak out as you feel yourself being fucked silly, close to cumming again.
“You’re what? Answer me clearly, darling.” He coos as he tugs at your hair, pulling you back against him.
“I’m a dirty whore-ah” You yelp out as he pulls on your hair. You can feel the warmth of his body on your back, as you feel another hand make its way around your neck.
“Good girl.” Megumi purrs out. He is picking up the pace now, as his grip around your neck gently tightens. He’s thrusting into you with ferocity he didn’t know existed, abusing your tight cunt.
You feel yourself getting dizzy while Megumi keeps drilling into your cunt. He releases his grip on your throat, allowing you to gasp for air as he pushes you down against the couch. His hands grip you at your waist, giving him a better holding on you to fuck you harder. He groans as he feels himself getting close.
His cock slams into your g-spot again, as he nears his edge. “I’m close, baby. Be a good girl and come with me, yeah?” You can feel his cock starting to twitch inside your cunt as he continues his relentless assault on your sensitive spot, feeling that knot snap in your belly as you tighten around his cock. The moment you cum, it sends Megumi over the edge, and you feel his warm cum filling your womb. He slips his cock out as he pulls your panties back over your cunt. “Keep this on for a while, sweetheart.” He says as you start to roll over. He leans down and kisses your forehead, while caressing your cheek.
“That was amazing, ____. You were amazing.” He praises as he sits on the couch, pulling you into an embrace as you sit on his lap. Your head rests in the crook of his neck and you can smell that familiar, fresh scent. It smells like home.
“Thank you, Gumi.”
--
‹𝟹 notes: i don't think there are going to be many more chaps for this fic soon. maybe 2 more at most idk. i dont rly know what i wanna do going forward, so i gotta keep it cookin in my brain for a lil more i guess lol. if y'all have suggestions i am ALWAYYYYYYS open for them! getting comments on my fic literally gives me so much serotonin u dont even understand lol
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(・ω・)つ divider creds to @/cafekitsune and @/eloquentreverie
#jjk fanfic#megumi fushiguro#megumi x reader#megumi smut#jjk smut#megumi x you#jjk megumi#jujutsu megumi#jujutsu kaisen megumi#toji x reader#toji fushiguro#toji is my husband#fushiguro toji#jjk toji#daddy toji#dilf toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji smut#jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#smut#jjk fic#fushiguro x reader#fem reader#female reader
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most of the kuwei hate in this fandom is absolutely racially motivated and most of it is probably subconscious but i NEED to talk about this.
and not because i think people r thinking "i hate kuwei!! he's asian and i hate asians!!" tbh most anti asian racism on the internet goes way deeper than that.
basically, what i believe to be the most prominent type of racism against asians, especially on the internet, is stereotyping. specifically "uwu-ification." the east asian entertainment industry likes to paint asian people as cute, submissive and sweet because it markets disturbingly well to american audiences, and whether people mean to or not, they internalize it and it affects the way they think of asian people as a whole. This mostly happens to east and southeast asian women, but definitely a lot with men too, especially in more recent years with the whole yaoi culture thing (i fucking hated typing that) becoming more popular. simply put, it's fetishization.
so how does this relate to kuwei? well, when kuwei is introduced to us, and im not gonna dance around it— he is pretty stereotypically asian. he's shy, innocent, small, good at math/science and— you guessed it— no speaka engrish. leigh bardugo lays the perfect trap for fandom white girl weeaboos to gush over this guy. once i came across a modern au where kuwei's whole northern chinese-mongolian ass is a "shy japanese transfer student." i really wish i was making this up.
but then we find out that kuwei is actually a conniving little shit who is really quite terrible at science and spends all day making shitty drawings of his crush instead of doing math or wtv. The turning point where we are told this is the jesper kiss. This is the point where we find out kuwei is not the yaoi uwu baby we thought he was. and how does fuckin 2/3 of the fandom react?? hate. instant hate. If you search "i hate kuwei" on twitter there are tweets both defending and attacking him, but there is significantly more of the latter.
most of them claim to hate him for kissing jesper but like... jesper kissed him. He doesn't say anything because, in his own words, "we're all probably going to die anyway." does no one see how tragic that is?? he let his first (probably) kiss be taken by someone who he knew didn't even like him because he thought it would be the only one he'd ever get.
and yet the only thing people see is that he "got in the way" of wesper and he's evil. throughout the series kuwei is given no agency, and that's the point of his character. everyone on the planet treats him as a weapon or a bargaining chip. he gets tossed around like a rag doll and to white (or otherwise not asian) audiences, that makes him the perfect picture of a little asian cutie i almost vomited typing that holy shit. but the moments where he takes something for himself— insisting on going to ravka, kissing jesper back— that's what makes people hate him. and don't even get me started on the way people project their hatred onto the other crows, especially wylan. yall will act like wylan loathes kuwei with all his being. he doesn't!! wylan is not a hateful person and he always defends kuwei!! but nooo, kuwei sucks and he deserves it for daring to be a person instead of an idea.
and hey?? guess what?? kuwei was NEVER in the way of wesper. there was no love triangle. narratively speaking, there was never any threat that kuwei would end up with jesper instead of wylan. never ever. the kiss was literally only put there to create drama for wylan and jesper. we never even hear how kuwei feels about it. stop using that as an excuse to hate on kuwei when we can all see it's because you're subconsciously mad at an asian person not being nice.
also disliking kuwei does not automatically make you racist, im just saying a lot of hatred towards kuwei is rooted in racism.
tagging my fellow aapi moots (that i know of) because i wanna hear yalls thoughts on this! @hauntedacousticversiontv @dramaqueentruther
#bishangzoy#shadow and bone#six of crows#kuwei yul bo#wesper#i wanna make it clear that it IS mostly subconscious but that doesn't mean mfs who are guilty of this should be held any less accountable
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Massive thank you to you and everyone else who calls out how shitty it is to get mad at peoples interpretations. Sleep tokens music is romantic. Its also toxic. These statements can coexist. Its not your business if someone plays bloodsport or vore or hell even atlantic at their wedding. Youre not them, you dont know what the music means to them. If you see a weird take just roll your eyes and move on, its not a big deal. Absolutely sick and fucking tired of all these "why are you calling this romantic/sexy? Youre stupid and a terrible person!" takes like fucking relax. Media literacy is important yes. Respecting that this music is dark and personal to vessel is also important. Same goes for respecting how people relate to the music in dark ways. But as long as people are not saying things directly to vessel or fans about how their individual trauma is sexy then just chill out and respect peoples different interpretations. It sucks that i cant talk about how i view certain songs without being called horrible things and having really fucked up vitriol aimed at me. Yall need to grow the fuck up and get over yourselves. Im not thinking of your personal shit when i call a certain song romantic/sexy, i dont even know you, sometimes im thinking of my own trauma actually lol. Lets all discuss this music maturely where we respect each other and what each of us as individuals bring to the table for interpretation, stop making this fandom toxic as hell for anyone who doesnt agree 100% with your own interpretation. (Also the whole "youre not allowed to say this song is romantic/sexy" thing is very dismissive of some peoples trauma in itself, it ignores how messy someones feelings toward their abusers/toxic partners can be. Pretty fucked up to call a trauma survivor stupid or a terrible person because a song reminds them of their positive feelings towards someone who hurt them) Anyways yeah, just tired of people being so harsh because they refuse to see other peoples perspectives. I genuinely think one of the most toxic aspects of this fandom is the vitriol over different interpretations, people act like outright children at times with it im ngl, especially with more sexual discussions. It also feels infantilizing towards vessel at times, hes a grown adult who put romantic/sexy elements in his music and he doesnt need people trying to protect him from those themes. Im rambling but this stuff pisses me off so much, this fandom needs to do better
Context post for the clueless ones - regarding my tags/replies
Here's the thing - I've been in fandoms for many, many, MANY years. This type of discussion isn't anything new nor unique to Sleep Token, but it sure does make a comeback quite often. It's tiring to keep repeating the same things over and over, but that's what fandom is all about isn't it?
Someone needs to say something, and I am not one to shy away from uncomfortable conversations like these. Something something, build your own community, be the change you wanna see, etc etc.
I've said pretty much everything I wanna say already under that post, but for the sake of clarity, and because I can't keep my mouth shut apparently -
Under the cut for length - you know the drill:
Music is art. And art is subjective. Meaning, each individual will have their own personal connection and interpretation of a given piece of art, which in this case is Sleep Token's music.
Did Vessel write the songs with a certain intent or meaning? Most likely yes! It's not hard to connect the dots and guess what events/emotions might've transpired and served as inspiration for them (accuracy to personal life is irrelevant and none of our business, but it's also no rocket science to understand what's been said).
Can we establish a base meaning for any given song, or better, can we have a general consensus of what a song is about based on its lyrics and themes? Absolutely! Not every song is like that, but we can all agree there's a lot of recurring themes of past relationships and mental health struggles.
Is it wrong to diminish the songs to one basic element (eg. the sexual undertones) and/or completely disregard the bigger, more important theme? I'd say it is.
Giving Atlantic as an example (which as a lot of you know, is my most favourite song of them and very dear to me): this one has some very blatant references to suicide and depression. Regardless of whether it is based on irl events or not (none of our business!!!), it is extremely heavy and emotionally charged. I find it incredibly disrespectful when people say random stuff during the rituals when he plays this one.
Or for example, how certain people reduce Sleep Token to "baby making metal", instead of acknowledging the insane (insane!) variety of genres and the profound lyricism they present.
Should we limit our views, and by extension, those of others, to surface-level interpretation, without allowing room for different views and interpretations, either fictional lore based or not? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Vessel himself said to "not restrict ourselves to labels or genres because music transcends it all" (paraphrasing here). It's literally their whole thing. It's very hypocritical to be shouting from the rooftops about "media literacy" and assuming people are stupid or idiots for not understanding the basic, surface-level meaning of a song, when Vessel himself constantly writes in metaphors and half-truths.
I've touched on this a lifetime ago on one of my analysis, but if you *actually* look at the lyrics, you'll realise Vessel hardly ever says what he means. There's always something else behind his words, something he purposefully keeps hidden. It really sneaks upon you sometimes! I'm over a year in and I still find something new everyday on their music. That man has a way to weave in a hundred and one statements under a single sentence, that is just truly beautiful to study.
Is, say, The Love You Want, about a man (Vessel) mourning the fact that his love isn't reciprocated? Yeah! Is it about someone who, despite knowing they can never receive from their lover the attention and affection and care they want, will stay by their side anyways? It is!
Is it about bitterness, spiteful accusations aimed at the one person who should love you fully? Or a reflection of how little self-regard the singer has, so much that they are willingly and actively choosing to stay in a sinking one-sided relationship, because the alternative is too painful to bare? Can you flip the switch and see it as someone who is obsessively pursuing another person, and painting themselves as a victim? All of this, yes!
You can even eliminate the romantic aspect all together and apply it to a relationship with the self (past or future, or an alter ego), or a parental figure. The options are endless. There isn't one universal truth when it comes to music, and as such, all of these takes are 100% correct.
Many statements can be true at the same time - it doesn't make one more true or correct than the other. Simply different. The way we connect with music is very much dictated by our own life experiences, and no two people have lived the exact same life.
Can you prefer a certain way to look at a song, or completely disagree with certain takes? Absolutely! I know I sure as hell do! That's normal and expected and part of the fun in being in a community such as ours. More people means more ways to look at a song - isn't that just wonderful?!
Now, this is very obvious for most of us, but some people, especially in the younger rage, have been taught to look at things in a very black and white way. Not to be that person, but the truth is that the rise in awareness of social issues and "pc-ness", is slowly starting to eliminate the possibility of things being flawed and nuanced.
If you're wrong, you're awful. If you're right, you're obnoxious. Made a mistake? Get cancelled. Grow from your mistakes, but not like that. Learn from your actions, but change your whole personality in a day otherwise you're problematic.
You know what I mean.
Life isn't black and white. Art isn't black and white. Music isn't black and white. What may seem like a toxic, dark, obsessive depiction of a relationship to you, might translate to the deepest and most truest of loves to me. I can acknowledge something is Not Right, while still drawing my own conclusions.
Is Blood Sport a sad af song? Yeah! Definitely not the first thing I'd think of when in a happy relationship. But maybe that's the point. And maybe I do. And that's okay, and none of anyone's business. "Okay but The Apparition isn't a good example of a healthy and romantic-" TO YOU! Maybe that's what love looks like to me! Maybe I just happen to be into it! And what about it?
Maybe to me love comes with all the ugly sides too. The violence, the despair, the self-doubt. Who are you to dictate what I can or can't think? I highly doubt Vessel would go 🗣️ "WRONG! NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! >:::(", so why would you?
You can, and should, discuss the songs with others! Maybe some people do genuinely need a fresh pair of eyes to help them get to the juicy core of the songs - that's why we're here! To discuss, and exchange ideas! You can, and should, call people out when their engagement with the music is being harmful to others (joking and laughing during Missing Limbs? No bueno. Speculating about Vessel's personal life? VERY no bueno. Choosing a potentially weird song to walk down the aisle? None of your business + not your wedding + you weren't even invited + none of your business. Notice how I've been repeating that. Notice again).
You shouldn't, however, shame and ridicule others for having different views from you.
I think, rather than engaging in pointless discussions and start accusing people of being this or that, we should all exercise a little "don't like? scroll past". Is it harming you or others? No? Then scroll past! Is it an awful, truly horrendous take about something you're really passionate about? Okay! Disgusting! Scroll past! Good for them! 👍
Also - keep an open mind. We're all doing this living businesse for the first time, no one holds all the answers to everything. It's okay to change your mind. It's okay to say the wrong thing and backtrack. It's okay to make a mistake and learn and grow.
You know what's not okay? Being a dick to others because the thing you like is being misinterpreted. It's hard, I know!!! You can block people! You can scroll past! You can look at pictures of your favourite vessel and cleanse your brain!!!! I know I do!!!!!
And this is a last afterthought but - you don't get to complain about the fandom you're in if you're doing nothing to change that. I see many, maaaaany of you bitch about this and that, while having 0 engagement aside from the bitching. Like?? Maybe if you spent more time reblogging cool art or gifs and less time whining about literally everything, this would be a much more pleasant space!! And I DO get to be a little petty here because I sure do try my best to make this a fun and nice community. I am allowed a little bitching 😌
Anyways, tl/dr: don't be a dick; don't like - don't engage; keep an open mind; gaze upon the vessels. Peace and love yall 💙💫
#i think i may have gotten a little carried away but! you get the gist#very rich of me saying don't like - scroll past while engaging in Discourse™ i know 🙄#but. well. i kind of really really don't like this whole “you bad me right” attitude some people assume when talking about certain topics#(and this goes for both the recent discussions of the referenced post and the whole identity reveal thing)#is it too much to ask for a little respect? dang it#i swear december is a cursed month for Sleep Token and fans. last year we had iii's absence + the Wembley situash + THAT WHOLE THING in here#(remember that? lmaoooooo)#and now we're repeating the exact same thing? cmon guys. euclid. break the dang bough already and be someone new#i said i wouldn't get pissy but here we are LMAOOO HYPOCRIT NUMBER 1 IS ME!!!#in my defense. i couldn't not say anything about that Espera thing 😤 my queens. my lieges.#and this. well. i am just annoyed enough to engage 🥰#ANYWAYS!!#gonna schedule this and go honk shoo some more#i wanna be peaceful eeping while ~this~ goes live 💙 muwah#sleep token#darya is unhinged#<- it warrants the writing tag#darya answers#anon ask
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Okay so absolutely loving your writing sm <3
So I had this idea while, of course, scrolling down the aaron x reader tag so like you dont have to write it if you dont want to but i wanna throw this out here bc otherwise itll stay stuck in my brain
But like reader who is just,, incredibly shy? Like in social situations they put up a front and you would never expect them to be shy because theyre very present and speak up often despite almost blending in the background when quiet. But its a whole other story at home and such?
Like, Aaron notices and first thinks theyre uncomfortable with him but he slowly realizes that this is like, their love language ig and showing vulnerability? Quiet time, acts of service and such yk? Like, they always put up a front and to drop that (not entirely ofc but a decent amount of it) is just the highest form of trust bc theyve been ridiculed for being shy? And the shyness is much more present in the bedroom, especially when he praises them they just get even more shy and hes just so so gentle :(( like asking if theyre okay, going slowly and asking to see them when they hide their face but never forcing them to and just like praising them when they do and the praise kink of them just sticks its head up and its just the purest form of being together? Like, its not rough but gentle and its soft and theres really no other word than making love for it and its all just :(( and the aftercare the man would provide is just AHHH😭❤️
Oh dear im so sorry but i got sucked into the fandom and got obsessed by hotch and then your writing so- this is so long so imma shut up now but i just needed to throw it out there tbh before id explode from all the hotch ideas i have in my mind that im not writing myself or giving to any writer bc what if they think the ideas are weird or too long like rn- but anyway imma shut up have a nice day/night and hydrate <3 (also you might see more of me if you dont mind long ass rants in the middle of it like this one- if you do mind just tell me to shut up im not gonna be mad or anything <3/srs)
-🧽
my sweet sweet 🧽 anon <33 this took me a while to write i'm sorry!! i hope you've been well!! i think about you a lot and i haven't forgotten the kind words you had sent to me <3 i hope you enjoy this!! (and ofc i don’t mind long rants i LOVE talking about aaron <3333)
nsfw - minors dni
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
“Can I, honey?” you heard Aaron’s words as he wrapped his hands around your wrists.
You had been covering your face as you usually did when your boyfriend went down on you. After making you finish, Aaron had made his way up again, urging you nicely to look at him.
With a nod of your head, you gave him permission to gently remove your hands from your face.
“There you are.” He smiled at you.
“Hi,” you said, softly, unable to keep yourself from smiling a little.
“Hi,” he answered, just as softly. “Do you wanna taste yourself, baby?”
“Mhm…” You nodded, staring at his chin instead of his eyes.
Your own eyes closed involuntarily, as he lowered himself and his lips touched yours. You opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to touch yours. Knowing where that tongue had been before it was inside your mouth, made you even more excited for what was coming next.
Aaron placed his hand on your hip, giving it a squeeze and then moved it down your thigh, wrapping your leg around his body. “Open them wider, sweetheart.”
Only a few moments later, Aaron was inside you, rocking his body against yours, in a pace slow enough to be considered both romantic and tormenting.
“Ah…”
“Good?” he breathed heavily on your mouth.
“So good…”
“I love you,” he moaned, his face now buried in the crook of your neck. He left open mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin after every little whine of yours. “I love your body. I love the sounds you make. I love the way you take me like you were made for me.”
“I was,” you sighed, because you really were. There was no man in the world you’d let yourself be this vulnerable around, other than Aaron. Your Aaron.
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Okay- so I feel like im a bit calm (definitely real) after yesterdays finale to properly make a statement about it
And I really want to put a few of these points out there while the tags are still trending and while I still have time cuz now that AAA I finally over I really need to focus on my studies which is gonna be hard…..but yeah it is what it is
And honestly
Look idc what anyone says anymore
Yes there were some loose ends and a whole lot of questions
And I get that a lot of people were upset…..believe me I was too and still am
But I wanna be a voice of positivity
cuz I feel like whatever plot wholes they left
Like jac said were there for US to interpret
Or as my delusional ass is telling me maybe theyre setting up for another season???
And yes for those of you whore saying that we shouldn’t be the ones to figure theyre story out YOURE RIGHT, I AGREE WE SHOULDNT
But at the end of the day it still was a marvel show
And Whatever it was
It was an amazing experience
Yes we had our highs and lows
And Looking back on Agatha’s story, yes I do feel a mix of admiration and frustration. There was so much potential in exploring her relationship with Rio and the complex layers of her own journey, which felt overshadowed in the end. At times, the focus on Agatha's role as a mother felt like it could have been handled differently and Instead of fully delving into Agatha’s growth, her story was ultimately used to elevate Billy’s arc, leaving her character, her grief, and her love for Rio without the closure they deserved.
That being said
Again while it's fair to wish for a bit more closure for characters like Agatha, Rio, Jen, and Alice,
I truly do think jac schaeffer is a genius
like for a really long time i used to think that we were reading too deep into scenes and that they arent actually that deep and we’re just being delusional
But watching, reading interviews of her
Finding out that as a matter of fact it actually IS that deep
And that everything means something and nothing is unintensional
just hearing her talk about the characters she writes is such a fulfilling feeling you have no idea
its the way she understands those characters and portrays their trauma….She really cares for themm
she does her research and makes sure she understand her characters and the lore
unlike *cough michael waldron cough*
Who couldnt even be bothered enough to watch a show which was an indefinitely important arc for one of the characters he was assigned to write for a movie
Its just-
Look all im tryna say is
Shes a master in her craft and no one does it like her
despite everything she provided us with two of MARVELs best shows up to date and no one can tell me other wise
Cuz While the narrative pivot left parts of Agatha’s story untold, Schaeffer's dedication to character depth shows her commitment to storytelling which you can really see in the way she talks about those characters
again while I wasnt satisfied with the finale its her dedication to understanding these characters, down to the smallest detail means so much to me.
Cuz it’s not just about the story—she collaborates with her actors to bring out the arcs they envision which makes it even more special
And It’s truly disappointing that Marvel didn’t fully capitalize on the opportunity to explore Agatha’s own arc in its entirety, especially with such a capable writer at the helm.
Still, I’m hopeful that future stories will revisit and give the characters like Agatha and Rio the focus they deserve
And i reallyyy hope they sign jac up as a writer for future projects
Cuz ultimately, I think her approach to these characters makes her one of the standout storytellers in Marvel right now, and I’m excited to see what she does next with all the new responses from the fandom
I hope you guys get what im trying to say
Anyways to conclude my thoughts
Whatever it was
I truly did love this show
And ill really miss coming back home on Thursdays to watch the new episodes drop
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agathario#rio vidal#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#vidarkness#halloween
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wotw round 1
propaganda under the cut!
will graham:
OMG where do I even start??? A lot of the fandom (not the whole fandom, but a lot of them) are obsessed with Will Graham being traumatized helpless baby boy sub and it's just like… Hello? Did you watch the same show as me?
"Oh no he got his brain caught on fire with encephalitis he needs his big strong psychiatrist Hannibal to take care of him and spoon feed him and protect him from the world"
"Oh he's in love with his friend Alana but she just sees him as a friend and a psychiatric project I just need to wrap him in a blanket and cuddle him and protect him from all these people who hurt him"
Like the list goes on and on but guys, come on. Will Graham lives by himself with his 7 dogs and takes care of all of them. He's an FBI agent. HE'S LITERALLY KILLED PEOPLE BOTH WITH HIS BARE HANDS AND WITH WEAPONS. THIS MAN IS A SCRUFFY OUTDOORSMAN WHO'S LIKE 6'0" AND MAYBE NOT BUILT BUT DEFINITELY NOT SCRAWNY AND IN NEED OF PROTECTING. I think a lot of people get caught up in the fact that Will Graham is played by Hugh Dancy and he was very much a "pretty boy" character in a lot of stuff before he played Will Graham and this is also exacerbated by Hannibal being played by Mads Mikkelsen who is "slightly taller rugged silver fox European man who is going to fix my daddy issues" and since Will and Hannibal are the main couple a lot of people are like "well they can't both be big tough top guys so obviously it's the guy who's slightly bigger and buffer and older"
Will Graham is a 38 year old FBI criminal profiler who has killed dangerous people with his bare hands, went to prison for some time, masterfully manipulated others, also hunts and fishes, and he's like very good at reading people and their motivations. Incredibly smart everyday man.
Sweet JESUS sometimes the fandom makes him out to be more of a helpless puppy than he really is. Granted, even if he has his moments of mental vulnerability, it's never treated as weak by the show. He's managed to persist through some of the hardest situations. AND LIKE I GET IT, HE'S REALLY PRETTY WHEN HE'S IN PAIN AND SUFFERING BUT HE'S NOT!!! A BABY!!! Anyway I've seen a lot of fandom takes where he's been twinkified to high hell or portrayed as helpless/submissive and often it entirely diminishes that he's a grown fucking person (who has KILLED AND WILL DO IT AGAIN).
had encephalitis in s1 so everyone calls him sweaty & got framed for murder so when he actually murders people people say it’s not his fault and that he was manipulated into doing so (how do you manipulate someone into putting down a shotgun and beating someone to death with their bare hands when you’re not even there? fuck if i know. also, the manipulator in question (hannibal, his sort of therapist) actively stopped him from killing someone). “someone help will graham” is an actual tag on ao3. people treat him like a child. he is a serial killer and people act like he can’t even feed himself. it’s terrible. will graham is a liar, a murderer, a cannibal, a manipulator, and i love him for it
jason "jd" dean:
shoutout to my lovely friend who knows who they are who talk abt how jd does no wrong and hes so slay when like. he does slay. he did slay. he slayed three whole people. and tried to slay a school. like, jd does a lot of wrong. all he does is wrong. and sometimes the fandom acts like everything he does is super chill and fine and sane, and ignores what he did altogether. like yea christian slater was fit in the movie. yk whats not fit? homocide
hes also treated like an innocent lil baby who can do nothing for himself but im watching the movie rn and he just bashed veronicas head off of an emergency fire hose, and shes apparently the love of his life
#tournament poll#will graham#hannibal#jason dean#jd#heathers#this is my favorite matchup yet. two lovely men who have something deeply wrong with them. and kill also <3#wotw#round 1
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Salutations!
So... um... I'm kind of sick and am in desperate need of Sebek Zigvolt fluff.
How about a Fem!Reader who takes care of Sebek when he's sick, please?
I've read your other works and I absolutely love them 🫶🫶
*ੈ✩‧˚₊⁀➴ A/N: HIHI! Im crying' over here Im so happy you read my other works too even though they aren't twst fandom. I just love writing. ALSO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. Ya know I was just going to make it head cannons but here is a whole ass story cause it's super late and I could not stop on this one while writing it. I really hope that the characterization is right, I don't know that much about Sebek. BUT I hope you enjoy and thank you for being my very first request! ✧.*✦ *.✧.* *ੈ✩‧˚₊⁀➴Sebek x f!Reader *ੈ✩‧˚₊⁀➴Word Conunt: 2.3k <- yes 2k more so pls enjoy *ੈ✩‧˚₊⁀➴ Tags: sickies in bed, indirect kissing, ungodly thoughts and confused feelings, slightly hidden fluff, in denial about feelings
───────────✧.*✦ *.✧.*✦ *.✧.*✦ ───────────────
The moment there is enough peace on campus to hear your inner thoughts you know something was out of place.
The first couple of periods rushed through with mild amusement. Grim snoring on your left and occasionally a new note would come from Ace across from you making comments about how 'boring' the lecture is.
The usual, but someone was missing in your day.
Next, lunch went with a suspicious calm. No major fights, a couple forkfuls of food splattered in glory across the table from missing its targets, casual conversation, and nothing more.
Usually, lunch is more...
Noisy?
You couldn't find the answers until you saw Lillia who taps your shoulder out of your daydreams. You let out a small gasp waking up to reality, "Lilia! Don't do that- you scared me half to death."
A small fang pokes out of his smile, "Why I'm only here to deliver a message." He puts his hands up in mock surrender, "The small one Sebek is out with a cold right now. Tucked right into bed."
It was like a lightbulb going off. The boisterous energy that would usually interject into your day leading to ridiculous jabs at each other, Sebek, was missing.
No wonder you felt so off.
"He wouldn't keep quiet when I told him to rest. Saying things quite out of place-" he leans closer to you whispering into your ear in a small voice, "' Where is she? Where is (Y/N)?'"
You can feel the tips of your ears burn but you hope your face doesn't give anything away as Lillia breaks away a little happy smile on his face, "Why it seems he is quite fond of you."
Before you could even retort he quips in, "He's up on the second floor at the dorm. Passed out after I cooked him my famous soup!" He waves walking down the hallway, "Keep well!"
He disappears around a corner and you take a deep breath. Sebek sounds delusional, and you can imagine it has to do with something he ate, especially since Lillia cooked it up.
You hear the warning bell and you scamper off to class.
Later today you give him a visit…
Just to make sure he was alright.
Wallet slightly lighter and a fresh chicken noodle soup you step into Diatom's lounge. You're thankful there is barely anyone here right after school, you are even more thankful Jade didn't even bat an eye when you asked for the rushed order before the kitchen was even open. In fact, he just smiled…calmly…
There was more to dissect on that another day.
Winding up the stairwell, you come to a hallway filled with similar wooden doors all facing one direction. The only difference was a small name plate etched into each forehead of the door. The back of your heel clicked down the cobblestone.
"Sebek, Sebek- ah there, Zigvolt."
A knock for life, you hear a groan like one of those zombies in the movies.
"Hey Sebek we uh-" you think about your words before they spill out how much today actually felt off without him, "I heard you were sick!"
You joke raising the bag of soup up as he could see through the door, "I brought you something a little 'better' than Lilia's cooking!" It was more to test how healthy Sebek was and you did not even hear a response.
Wow, he really must be dying.
You crack the door open peeking your head through. Clumps of tissues were littered on the floor along with some plastic bottles and a different assortment of cups and medicine on his nightstand. What you could assume is a mound of a person was huddled into a little ball underneath the sheets.
You walked through carefully avoiding the snot-filled tissues on the ground, "Sebek, hey. How are you feeling?" You tug the edge of the sheet just to let him know there is a healthy presence of life here, "I brought some soup. Really cost me an arm and a leg (yet),"
A shift of the blanked and another groan escapes him, full of snot he lets out a sneeze. He shifts his body to barely peeking out of the blankets, "You cough you're here?" He says it with no bite, but more of wonderment.
It makes your heart melt just a little.
The two of you have been playing this game recently… where he would make an effort to find you and "train mentally" against you. For what training, you still never understood, but it is a usual constant 'noisy' flow of Sebek. Sometimes he brings you extra lunch saying his enemy couldn't give him an easy win when you weren't having a good day. Other times, he might come to do his homework prideful when gets a question right before you and indignant when you need to teach it to him.
…It was obvious you were playing a game. The shy looks went as you both glance over each other, the constant quarrels that you two would get into and it would slowly fade to each other's company. It was even apparent to Silver, yes Silver that you two have been dancing around each other's toes! He said, 'You two are like the old couples in the valley.'
No, you weren't, this development was by Sebek only! It had nothing to do with you and you became a little closed off and a little more cold and you ignored what was hurt on Sebek's face because how could you recognize that emotion if you did not know him well.
A creak breaks you from your daydreams, "(Y/N)…how cough a human like you is going to get sick." You give a soft laugh sitting by the edge of the bed, "Well, it's pretty incredible you're this sick with your genetics, though maybe it's a blessing that I am human- got to have a better immune system than you."
A gaggle of annoyance, "Not- cough true. You're really cough weak."
You roll your eyes, "Obviously since I'm sick in bed right now. Here you should eat." You step near the nightstand to make some room for the bag gently cracking the tape around the lid of the soup. It smells fantastic.
"Here sit up so you can eat."
He doesn't move or at least maybe he tried to because you hear a grunt. What a baby. You place the soup on the nightstand and reach for the covers of his bed pulling it just to be met by resistance.
"Sebek, come on you have to eat."
"I- no hack la-later would be fine."
"But it's going to get cold!"
"Its! It's fine! I cough like it cold…?"
What a liar. He may be able to lift eight chairs but you have the power of surprise on your side. Your hold lessens on the sheets.
"Alright…then I'll come back later."
He relaxes underneath the sheets, "…really?"
Your grip tightens against the sheets again, "Pshhh NO!"
Sheets wave in the air with also a couple of tissues and oh no was that his phone? It's alright though because you won this one and you look down to hopefully see indignation on Sebek's face but…he's- oh completely naked from the top up.
Strongly lined abs with traces of sweat falling down the lines of etched muscles, the way his pecs were peaking due to the sudden rush of cold air, and his collars dipped nicely really painting the picture of a perfect man. Your eyes meet with Sebek's and he has red forming around the edge of his face from the fever! It's the fever…
The sheets slowly cascade down and messily cover his perfect body his shoulders and head now peeking through.
Was it hotter in here your throat feels more dry as you chide him in fake authority, "You- you should really sit up and eat." You glance at the soup the steam still leaking out, "I'll help you!"
It's only a ten-second break to calm your thumping heart as you balance the soup in your hands reaching for a spoon inside the remnant of the bag. You face back and Sebek is now sitting up slightly against the headboard, sheets tucked in like a modest princess above his chest, the face still red.
You make a place facing him, he won't meet your eyes and to be honest, you really can't meet his. But it's not like you haven't seen guys at the beach before, or even at home when it was too hot of a day. The soup swirls in its paper-like container as you lift the spoon up.
"Here say ah."
He doesn't, mouth still shut, ears tingling red. You knew this look it was when you got the question right first when you won.
But that really didn't matter right now.
You lower the spoon, "Alright. Fine. I'm sorry I took your sheets from you." You don't think about how hot he is and continue on, "It's really yummy soup though. I think that you should have some."
To prove your point you blow on a spoonful and dip it into your own mouth, you try not to think of why his eyes won't leave the spoon. It pops out of your mouth, "See better than Lilias."
His eyes furrowed, "You- you can't say anything about cough Lilia-sama." He nodded towards a half-empty bowl on the nightstand, "See! His food is hack delicious." He really must be delirious because the bowl is caked on black with thick goo hardening in it. You don't fight him though, because this is the first real response you got out of him.
You nod, "Yes yes, then you should be able to finish this too?" Another dip into the mixture, "Say ah."
He looks so reluctant like a cat being sprayed with water, but slowly he opens his mouth, "..ah"
You place the spoon in his mouth and you see the way his teeth are a little sharper than yours clink on the spoon, mouth closing around it before a little pop as you pull out.
Your ears start heating as well, you hope you're not getting sick also.
It's almost done when you can touch the bottom of the soup bowl and Sebek has been quite well-behaved the past couple minutes. After the last bite, you pack the trash and a couple of the tissues are littered around in the bad crinkling it shut.
The air was tight.
"I…I should get going." You try to find any excuse to get out, "Grim- he um- need to be fed! Yeah, so I should go back to Ramshackle."
Sebek knew you well enough to hear a shifty excuse so you believed that was the reason he grabs your hand before you can leave, "Wai- Wait!" he hacks into his other arms elbow, "I want- I-." He takes a deep breath his voice becoming less choppy, "They say I need to say "sincerities" when it's my loss…so cough for a small human like yourself coming here I- hack thank you…"
It's the first thank you he has ever given you and you feel this is more than just a 'thanks for taking care of me'. It felt more about the two of you. In truth and honesty, you were the ones who took the first step away from him, even though you may have something more akin to 'feelings' than the general source of friendship you have with your other friends.
You needed to take the first step.
You gave a small smile, "Oh, the great Sebek is thanking a 'small human' like me." You walk up to his bedside, him still sitting in the same position as before. You're close as you lean down only inches away, "Well then, you're welcome Sebek."
You give a small kiss, right on the side of his cheek, just a peck before Sebek has time to process in his foggy brain.
You are already out the door the time you hear a loud holler from his bedroom. Your face was burning red but it felt nice to finally start exploring these feelings.
A couple days later and Sebek was back in action.
Though, he was with you almost 24/7. Even in the evening, he stayed for extra study lessons, more than usual. It went on like that for a couple weeks.
Of course, you are a little slow to the advances of Sebek and it took Lilia (again) to really make the pieces fall in order. It was just a casual conversation
"I'm glad the dear is a little more open about you, why he was such in denial that he even made the excuse to see you as "mental training"!" Lilia laughs and you do your best to add on the conversation.
"Well he's getting better at math now so maybe he will be teaching me about potions soon."
Lillia laughs even harder now at your response and you tut, potions were difficult alright? He seems to read your face with the knowledge of a sage and wipes a nonexistent tear from his eye, "No you are mistaken dear. He said something across the lines, 'My heart keeps thumping around (Y/N) and I need to fix it!'." He grins, "Why he was such a cutie saying that, so in denial back then- you ask well."
Your face is flush, cheeks a rosy red. And comedic timing comes when you least expect it because Sebek is racing down the halls toward the two of you. He grips your face between gloved hands, your face squished together, "Your face is evenly red… ARE YOU SICK!?"
Your words are muffled together, "Nomhrooo mmmmh fhhine Sebrekkk!" You pull his hands away from you, "I'm fine!"
Lillia looks completely amused by this and just has to open his mouth, "Why Sebek, (Y/N) was just telling me how she felt a little under the weather today."
"What no! I'm fine Sebek, really."
He doesn't believe you of course and that day you're carried in his arms to the infirmary him muttering how a pitiful human like you should be more careful all through a crowded hallway.
God, what were you going to do with the both of you?
#.wwrenwrites#twst x reader#twst x you#twst wonderland#twst sebek#sebek zigvolt#sebek x reader#reader insert#requests are open#I probably won't write this long for a request again but it was nice to try and do character writing hehe.
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><> - SHINIGAMI EYES IS NO LONGER RELIABLE!
pinned post cause my old one is fucking depressing!!! be 18+ to follow please! i dont post porn but i do post suggestive stuff.
IF YOU HAVE MEN DNI ON YOUR PROFILE, FOLLOW YOUR OWN DNI! I'M A MAN AND PROUD OF IT: GET OVER IT!
hi im Anchor! im 19. im otherkin, autistic + adhd and a whole lot of other mental shit, physically disabled, and fall under the trans man and nonbinary umbrellas. im gay as hell ( i love men + nonbinary people!!! im both lol ) so youll see posts abt that. my gender is an enigma, but i am not a woman for sure! i only use he/they pronouns, but i heavily prefer he/him. i like to talk abt myself in the third person a lot bc autism. that's why i'm autistic-fuckwad!
i make art! the guy above is me but like. a bunny version. i also have tons of fandoms that i like but dont really talk abt! idk i dont really know what to put here if you wanna check me out from other places, here's my carrd!
Find me funny or cool and wanna support me? [Throne | Ko-fi]
><> - Tags: [#anchor rambles] - my original post tag! i just be yapping all the time. [#tom the fat cat] - my tumblr/reddit/pinterest famous by proxy cat Tom! i finally gave him his own tag. [#my asks] - self explanatory! [#hate mail] - my tag for hate anons that i do answer. most of them are just funny or old things i felt needed addressed. [#my art] - i generally post my art on my art sideblog, but i will also crosspost it here! [#chroxri/#chroxris] - this is my original species! as of right now they arent finished and exist entirely in my head, so they arent for public use.
><> - OC Tags: [#oc: spraypaint | #oc: lucifer | #oc: megaladon | #oc: mau] [#oc: akeno | #oc: cirsium]
><> - Mine sideblogs: @commander-frostfang - Guild Wars 2 sideblog. Named after my first character, but holds both Zohar Frostfang and Hyacinth of Malvale as my commaders. I post my gw2 art there, if i make any, and reblog posts abt gw2. I currently have played through the entire story on Zohar.
@5h4rku8us4rt - Art blog! kinda disorganized, not tagged well, will fix up in the future. still badass as hell tho. i post my art here so you can follow this to see when i post art specifically cause i reblog so much on my main blog. 5H4RKU8US is generally my username on other sites, i just tagged art to the end in the same style. it's pronounced sharkubus. @5h4rkd0llz - doll blog. heavy wip, ive been depressed. i collect rainbow high and calico critters, i also sew doll clothes. might do customs, might not. idk.
@5h4rku8us - Had to claim my main username somehow! im honestly using this to store my sona's art and post abt vtubing stuff. once i start making videos, i plan on uploading links to them here! honestly, kind of dead rn. it will happen in the future tho!
@sharksimsss - sims 4 cc blog. i hardly use this one so its just for myself and my bff to grab cc from lol @chroxri-corner - my own original species and world building blog! currently dead but not abandoned. im just depressed
I block heavily and I'm not interested in arguing about my core belief systems. i dont hold opinions on most things so dont come into my inbox just to ask abt if i support giggleshitfart68 or not for being twinklekin. i support intersex people and believe in breaking the sex and gender binary. do as ye will as long as ye bring no harm upon others.
RADFEMS, TERFS, GENDER ESSENTIALISTS AND INTERSEXISTS FUCK OFF!
sometimes i misunderstand things! always willing to talk it out if the other party is receptive and civil.
#ill probs go over this and edit as needed when i can#but for now#new pinned post!#last update: 1/9/2025
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(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
gege never said the original draft was boring, he only said he needed to revise it to fit the shonen genre more. where tf are all these people getting that lie from??? if he thought jujutsu sousen draft was boring, it's story line would not be implemented into the culling game arc that we have today.
it was unpolished. not boring.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
also, the reason for the mc switch is because yuuji's character fits the shonen genre more.
naive and just happy all around ((naruto??? gon??? luffy????? deku??? that kid in black clover?? i forgot his name)). im not saying that serious characters like megumi as mc was never done in shonen before - but since jjk was gege's first series, he had to conform to shonen norms a little for his story to be approved.
yuuji's character fits what shueisha thinks a shonen protagonist should be (his whole thing of saving every single person around and all that) while megumi's kinda fit seinen more (picking and choosing who to save depending on whether or not he deems them as a good person). gege wanted megumi to stay the way he originally perceived him, so instead of changing megumi's personality - he just gave shueisha the mc they wanted with yuuji. and kept megumi the way he is but as a supporting character that still have the same strong ties to the plot like how he originally wanted.
this isnt a megumi vs yuuji as mc kinda thing btw - because if gege had it his way he would have made this two a duo mc but shueisha wanted to keep to their formula.
i'll put the translation screenshots on here from twt account @///soukatsu_ - you be the judge.
tell me where he said boring there
((im just mad atm dont mind me. i'll probably go draw a chibigumi to calm myself <( •̀ᴖ•́)>))
im not, in anyway, against yuuji being the mc btw - i like how megumi was written in the story that we have now, granted i would love to see more of him, but his role in the story is just the way i like it! i'm just the type of fan who gets more invested in what the supporting characters are doing rather than the mc in any manga that i have ever read. e.g kagura (gintama), L (deathnote), sanemi? (kny), todoroki (mha), grey (fairytail), aki (csm), MEGUMI (jjk) etc etc.
so i like megumi as the supporting role.
and people seem to be forgetting that jjk almost got axed on its first ten chapters ((literally the same thing that almost happened to gintama back then)). so thats really just how publishing a series works. the mangaka (esp a first time serialized one) have to change the story flow here and there in order to conform to what the publisher want - not because they think the story they're trying to weave is boring.
tldr. gege never said he found his first draft boring. idk where all these people got this from. but i guess people wanna cling to anything that can keep their agenda running 🙄
im not gonna tag the general jjk hashtag here coz i'm kinda hating on the fandom atm lmao. its another week another megumi slander with these guys and its always coz of misinterpretation 🙄
#im so tired#this fandom sometimes... 🙄🙄🙄#dont let agendakaisen ruin your brains#im never stepping foot in jjktwt ever again#i'll just keep to myself in megumi nation#<( •̀ᴖ•́)>#anyway#megumi looked so cutie in jujutsu sousen aaaa#the curse that possessed him there kinda reminds me of venom tho...#if youre a megumi hater go away#>:(
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2024 in Fanfiction
2023: 0 words
2024: 118,553 words
Acca Larentia | E | Hope Lupin/Lyall Lupin | 16/24 | 111K
My firstborn child. Twenty-ish years of exploring the magical world from a muggle’s eyes, the rise of Voldemort, and what it could have been like to raise the world’s coolest werewolf.
The First Train Home | T | Remus Lupin/Sirius Black | 5K
Three Wolfstar scenes (post-prank, post-Azkaban, post-veil). A good dose of hurt/comfort and a fun little diddy I wrote to try out a new style.
Way to Go, Tiger | G | Scorpius Malfoy & Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter | 2K
Draco takes Scorpius to the zoo for his seventh birthday. Harry keeps an eye on them. Is it Drarry? Is it not Drarry? The world may never know. (Pls. It’s so obviously drarry.)
Thanks for the tag @wolfpants 🩷 you’re the reason I started writing, and one of the best parts of this fandom - and my whole life.
My first year writing! (Okay, technically I started in December 2023, but for the sake of this post let’s give me three weeks of grace time).
I started writing when I was stressed and overwhelmed with grad school, and I was exhausted from the constant work - study - work - study - work cycle. I wanted to do something just for me, to bring myself some joy, even if no one I knew was aware of it and no one online even read it.
It was hard at times, no doubt. I’ve deleted thousands of words (utter shite), had months-long writers block, or (worse) months where I wanted desperately to write, but didn’t have the time or energy to get the words down. I’ve learned some difficult lessons, and got hurt in ways I didn’t see coming.
But even when it was tough, I can honestly say it was worth it to try. I’m so happy I decided to start writing after years of telling myself I wasn’t good enough, or that there were enough stories out there, or asked myself who would even want to read this? To that girl, I say now - it doesn’t matter. It’s okay to be an imperfect writer. It’s okay if there are similar stories already. It’s okay if no one reads what you write. Do it for you, and have fun with it.
I feel like I’ve learned a lot about myself this year. I can slowly but surely see places where I’ve improved in the last few months. I’ve written some things I’m really proud of (and some things that make me cringe). But most importantly, it gave me a much needed creative outlet and a purpose outside of work and school. Writing has also led me to the most amazing community, and that’s been the greatest gift of all. I love the friends I’ve made through this fandom dearly, and if you’re one of them, I hope you know how loved you are.
My goals for 2024 were to just write. And good golly Miss Molly, I did it. Yeehaw! I put those words in the doc and I uploaded them to the archive. Pats on the back for me. Go girl!
In 2025, I want to finish my WIP and start posting my next long fic (similar to Acca, a female POV rare pair). I also want to write more one shots for fun, and explore new pairings and plots (muggle AU maybe? Drarry maybe? One of the dozens of ideas I have locked in a note on my phone?) And I want to leave a comment on every single fanfic I read.
Im glad I took the chance in 2024! And as I wrap up the year I want to say - thank you for being a part of mine 🩷
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ok so I've been shipping sidlink for years now and been in the zelda fandom for longer(fandom since 12, shipping since 16) so I'm used to seeing bad faith takes trying to explain why a ship between two adults who aren't related is "problematic" but "if you don't ship z/elink your a misogynist" is definitely the newest and most disheartening.
out of all of my LITERAL YEARS of shipping these two I haven't once seen a post bashing zelda or another female character. Even with the interruption of Yona I haven't seen much hate, sure there has been somethings here and there but for the most part everything's been chill.
what I wish people would do is analyze racism and sexism on the Gerudo, discussing how although link is gender androgynous in botw it comes at the price of orientalism, and how Zeldas powers being connected to birth right calls into question how much sexual agency she has. not you know....trying to prove moral failings based on what you ship(sidenote, please don't read this line and think im p/ros/hip I got beef with yall but that's for another post)
what I have seem instead was toxic z/elink stans putting sidlink hate directly in the ship tags. I can't look up sidlink on here and especially twitter without seeing a post saying that if you ship them you're a pedo when I haven't seen this behavior for all my years I've been shipping. only in the last year that I've seen it. I personally think the problem is (that isn't unique to z/elink) is that fans feel the need to feel justified when hating a ship, it isn't enough to just not vibe with it, there has to be a valid reason. so instead of ignoring it they come up with reason why liking something that's completely fine is a problem. so they come up with a reason like pedo are most recently misogyny. I don't like z/elink but I would never try to make a moral reason as to why.
you can understand sexism in zelda, and fandoms as a whole without shipping the main girl character. infact I would argue its more sexist to imply you can only understand a female character only when they're with a man. so if your gonna callout non-z/elink shippers for misogyny can I also callout z/elink stans for internalized homophobia with their weird need to nitpick every mlm ship?
#rant#ok to interact#ok to reblog#this is kinda a reply to a self proclaimed ceo#but mainly about stuff I've seen in general#mainly from new fans#sidlink#also don't yell at me ill c**#this is getting tagged#zelink#too because it shows my point better#legend of zelda#totk#tears of the kingdom#my post
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SLIGHT PJSK (main story) AND PJO/HOO SPOILERS(?)
So!! As some of you may be aware.. I love pjsk. In case you didn't know, I love pjsk. I also love pjo and hoo. And last night I when I should've been sleep, I was fucking PUNCHED by both hyperfixations at the same time and then I started wondering what it'd be like if pjsk characters were demigods and/or Hunters of Artemis. This is that post. Feel free to ignore, I just need to infodump lmao
Mafuyu is a daughter of Jupiter. Jupiter's children are often set unrealistically high expectations, which causes them to be terrified of failure and slowly crumble under the stress. This can be seen with Jason during his time as praetor, on the Argo II, etc. In Mafuyu's case, her mother and the majority of her peers all expect her to excel in everything she does. Do you see where I'm going with this. Yeah okay. Anyway she's specifically a child of Jupiter and not Zeus because the gods are stricter in their Roman aspects and Mafuyu was raised by a strict parent. Also I think she'd either be a praetor or join the Hunters of Artemis.
Airi and Mizuki could both very much be children of Aphrodite. Airi because her whole "the most important thing in an idol is the heart" thing breaks so many Aphrodite kid stereotypes and I love it. She would so teach others that there's more to Aphrodite than being a toxic person (cough cough Drew cough Cheerful*Days) and I love her for that. Mizuki is here because they have trouble expressing themself freely and finding out that Aphrodite is their mother could help them figure stuff out?? Maybe?? Idk man. Also TRANS APHRODITE KID LETS GO!!! I think that they can both charmspeak but choose not to unless like their fucking lives depend on it.
Shiho is a child of Hades. Hades' kids are shunned and often misunderstood, which reminds me of how Shiho is mischaracterized in the fandom a lot. Also the way she acts reminds me of Nico. "I'm fine on my own" NO YOU'RE NOT!!!
Tsukasa, Saki, Toya and Kanade are all children of Apollo. Do I even have to explain for Tsukasa? He is the most theatre kid to ever exist, literally who else would be his godly parent???? Toya would be the most unconventional son of Apollo ever. Imagine him being like "no dad fuck you and your instruments im gonna be a street musician" and Apollo's just like "yeah go piss girl idc music is music" it's so funny to me omg. Kanade's whole self-sacrifice complex + composer thing?? She is THE daughter of Apollo (sorry Kayla). I feel like Toya would be a praetor if Roman Apollo was his dad but idk just a hunch. Toya could also be a child of Jupiter for similar reasons as Mafuyu. Kanade is literally Will Solace if he was musically gifted (Will I'm joking ily). Saki is here because I didn't know where else to put her and I'd feel bad if I separated the Tenma siblings.
Ena is a daughter of Ares. I can't quite explain this one, but Ena wanting her dad's approval of her being an artist reminds me of Clarisse a lot for some reason?? She could also be a child of Apollo but I already put four characters there sooooooo yeah
Rui the most son of Hephaestus EVER. "I'm not good with organic life forms" is such a Rui line oml. The automatons?? The mechanic shit?? ROBO-NENE. Do you see my vision. I want Rui and Leo to be friends so bad augh.
Nene could be a daughter of Poseidon because she has mermaid imagery, aside from that idk.
I think Minori could be a daughter of Iris since she's underrated (similar to how Iris is underappreciated/a minor goddess) and Minori + Iris both strongly believe in hope.
Besides Mafuyu, I think Honami and Shizuku could be Hunters of Artemis. As I'm typing this, I just realised that the april fools Meru trio are all Hunters asdfghgfdghj
A lot of characters were left out because I didn't know who their parents could be but if anyone has headcanons pls put them in the replies or tags!! Thank you for coming to my ted talk, goodbye.
#project sekai#pjsk#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#pjo#hoo#nightcord at 25:00#niigo#vivid bad squad#vbs#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#more more jump#mmj#leo/need#l/n#siren-serotonin
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TLB challenge: messed up kinks edition
tlb fandom! i have a challenge for you! let’s giggle together like a bunch of schoolgirls and tell each other about what kinks the boys have
and by that I mean the most disgusting barely-sex-related stuff your our dirty little minds can come up with.. the stuff not even the lost boys would think about practising in real life, or confessing to other boys
dont be shy. im gonna go first kay?
Warning: NSFW
David
Medical play:
We all know David loves control. Physically restraining, bondage, dom/sub good time and all that stuff. But sometimes he thinks about taking that to whole another level. David really likes the idea of actually controlling someone‘s body. A person strapped to gyno chair, their legs spread wide with no chance of getting out of the binds, now that’s a scene he could get into. Giving the person pleasure and pain.
Literally controlling their body’s fuctions. Putting them to sleep with drugs. Using urethral sounds and catheter to stop them from emptying their bladder or making them pee when he decides.
And when a person really misbehaves? Nothing like severing some tendons to teach them a lesson.
==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡==
Dwayne
Maiesiophilia (yes, it has a name):
We all know Dwayne has breeding kink. But really deep deep inside his mind this kink turns into something much darker.
He enjoyes when a person is close to the end of pregnancy. The discomfort that comes with it. The joint pain, muscle pain, difficulty with sleeping, false contractions.
He gets off on the idea that the person who wishes to have a child needs to go through all that hell. Including the birth itself. Seeing a person going through a worst pain imaginable because they wanted their little baby more than they feared the whole process is doing something to him.
==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡==
Marko
Cannibalism:
Yep. Just straight up cannibalism.
He’s a beast in man’s body. It’s normal for all lost boys to take a sip when they are fucking some rando but with Marko it can be so much more horrifying. Because let’s be honest, he’s the most sadistic out of the entire pack and if the rest of them didn’t hold him back, there would be many more corpses killed in much more gruesome manner.
But sometimes he thinks about it. With someone who is really hot and they have amazing sex, but it doesn’t seem to scratch the itch. He doesn’t want to just fuck them, or taste them. He wants to posses them. Take them apart and keep them with him forever. Devouring parts of their bodies is a nice compromise.
==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡==
Paul
Dollification:
He just wants a doll, that’s it.
Just a pretty little thing to keep in his nest. Cute and quite. Something that doesn’t talk much. No need for it to move either. In fact, if it behaves like a proper doll, he might even take care of it. Keep it alive for a while.
He would use drugs and his mind powers to achieve this. Just scoop some poor soul from the boardwalk, put it in a nice dress and keep it. Sometimes to just look at it’s pretty face. Or cuddle it. Feed it.
He would get rid off it before it died. Suprisingly he doesn’t like the stench of rotting flesh.
and i’m tagging these brave souls, let’s see how messed up we can get here: @luv4fandoms, @misslavenderlady, @ghoulgeousimmaculate, @maskofmirrors, @prettywhenibleed, @6lostgirl6, @auntvamp, @sadlostgirl
#... i need a therapist#tlb#the lost boys#the lost boys david#the lost boys marko#the lost boys paul#the lost boys dwayne#Enaris brain goes brrrrrr
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ok time to settle this Which of these would you actually want to see me do something with?
the reason why i didnt put prophecy shipping down [wu x mayor from lmk] is cause i want to spare the LMK fandom of my shenanigans, they dont deserve that Also, i already made a whole blog about the two :3 things like wusako and all that arent in the category im talking about, people already make that, this poll is specifically on picking from my bullshit that you all FOR SOME REASON still stay around to see so here you go my beloveds
Also no need to go 'wtf' in my tags, weve ALL established how i am unhinged, you signed up for this
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