#but the third episode had me feeling things n I wanted to get SOMETHING out lol

[wool-string]

[lieslab]

Not strong enough

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Og8 X gn reader

Summary: Skz finds you when you're struggling with a depressive episode and they try to cheer you up.

Genre: Comfort/hurt & fluff

Word Count: 3.4K

Trigger warning: Depression, anxiety, occasional jokes about dying, and the Seungmin one mentions skin-picking.

A/N: Yesterday I said I'd post a new drabble tomorrow and with barely an hour left in the day, I made it. This was a request, but some of this was sheer stupidity. Depression is a very serious thing, but I have no doubt that the guys would attempt to cheer you up, even if it meant having silly conversations, making bad jokes, and trying to do whatever it took to see you smile <3

_ _ _

Chan:

You rubbed your face with your hands for the third time within the past fifteen minutes. Frustration poured over you as you ripped another page from your journal, crinkled it up, and threw it to the ground. 

Chan glanced up from his computer with a frown. He tugged an earbud from his ear and looked over you. You were bent over the desk in your shared bedroom. Every night, you journal about your day, but the words weren’t coming out today. You already missed the past three entries and were trying to catch up. 

“Are you okay over there?” Chan called out. 

“I’m fine.” 

His eyes went from the back of your silhouette over to the wadded ball of paper and back to your back. You could feel him staring, but you ignored it as you went back to writing words on the lined paper. You began writing, but didn’t get very far. You stopped when your eyes filled with tears. 

You sniffled, wiped them away, and began writing again. Chan knew something was wrong, but you didn’t want to talk about it. Forcing yourself to swallow the lump in your throat and the frustrated sobs that you wanted to push out, you stayed quiet and kept forcing yourself to write. 

The scribbled handwriting was sloppy and none of it was legible. Tears blurred your eyes and made it difficult to see, but you kept pushing. You only stopped when there was a creak behind you. 

Chan put his laptop aside, pulled out his other earbud, and left them on the bed. His bare feet caused loose wooden floorboards to creak beneath the carpet. When he got to you, a supportive hand fell onto your shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” 

You sniffled and shook your head. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

You shook your head again and his fingers sent a light squeeze to your shoulder. “That’s alright. How about you come back to this in a while? We can watch a movie and hang out.” 

“I don’t want to bother you,” you hoarsely got out. 

His lips pushed into a frown. His eyes studied your face, searching for a sign of what was really wrong with you, but nothing stuck out. You seemed to be okay, so it must have been an internal thing. 

“You’re never a bother to me, sweetheart. You’ll never be a bother to me. Even if you wake me up in the middle of the night or interrupt me while I’m working on a new song, you’re never a bother. This is the least I can do to help make you feel better. Besides, it’s been a while since we last watched something funny.” 

The pen dropped from your hand and you nodded. That oversized lump was still there when you leaned forward, grabbed the front of his shirt, and tugged him closer to you. He didn’t fight it as you wrapped your arms around his waist and kept him held tight. 

“Better?” He smiled softly as he wrapped his arms around your back. 

In the familiar scent of his cologne and the comforting warmth, all you could do was nod. 

_ _ _

Minho: 

Plink!

Plink! 

You opened your eyes with a groan. Crying yourself to sleep again caused your eyelashes to stick together. In the darkness of your bedroom, the only thing letting light in was the moonlight slipping between the curtains. 

You shifted in your covers and pulled them over your head. Even the moon was too bright. You didn’t want to let any light in. With the way you had been feeling lately, you were okay with drowning in the darkness. 

Plink! Plink! Plink! 

It’s just hail, you reassured yourself as you buried your head in the cover. It stopped for a while and then there was a loud crack. You jerked up straight in your bed with wide eyes. With eyes meeting the window, a large crack sat along the middle of the glass panel. 

You shoved yourself from the bed and rushed over, hoping to capture the perpetrator. When you got there, to your surprise, nobody was running away. Instead, Minho was down below waving his hands frantically to capture your attention. Confusion filled your half-asleep stature and you slid open the window. 

“I didn’t mean to put a crack in your window with the rock. I’ll replace it, I swear. Come downstairs and let me in before I break a bottom window and crawl inside.” 

“Do you know what time it is?” You called down. 

“Time for me to hold you while we both get some sleep. You’ve been ignoring my calls and texts. I would have come earlier, but dance practice stayed over. I told you I’d be over later, but clearly-” His hands shifted to his hips. “Someone ignored my messages.” 

“Go back to your dorm, Minho.” 

“Don’t make me hunt down a crow bar and force entry into your household. Let me inside. I know something is wrong with you and you’re crazy if you think I’m just going to let you deal with it on your own.” 

“If you’re so desperate, why don’t you just climb up here?” 

“Fine!” He huffed, spun around to face the large maple tree beside him, and began to identify the weakened points to climb up. He shoved his foot into the knot of two branches and yanked himself up. 

His body still ached from practice, but he was worried about you. In the outline of the window, you looked pale and exhausted. You were crazy if you thought he was going to return empty-handed. 

“You’re such an idiot,” you grumbled as he climbed higher branches. He steadied himself pretty well as he used his limbs to climb higher and higher. 

Before you knew it, he was only about three feet from your window. With a steady balance, he pushed himself to his feet. “Back up, so I can jump in.” 

“Huh?” 

“Back up. You know like-” He flapped his hands back towards you. “Scooch your booch or whatever. Haul ass, so I can get inside.” 

“I’m gonna shove my foot up your booch.” 

“You’re going to regret that if I fall and die.” 

“You are so dramatic.” You stepped back, but stood near the window, just in case he needed you. 

He took a running start before he launched himself at your window. Like a cat, he pounced and caught the end of the windowsill. He shifted and shimmied until he got in and landed with a soft thud on the rug. 

“So,” he sucked in a deep breath, “are you going to tell me why you’re ignoring me?” 

“I’m not in the mood to do anything besides sleep. I just want to melt into the bed and be at peace for a while. It’s all so overwhelming and you know how it is.” 

“I think I do. Luckily, I’m here to save you.” He shifted, kicked off his shoes, and pushed you towards the bed. “We’ll discuss this more tomorrow, but for now, it’s bedtime.” 

_ _ _

Changbin: 

“Do you want to go to the movies?” 

“No.” 

“On a walk?” 

“No.” 

“Gym?” 

“No.” 

“How about we relax with a drive?” 

“No thanks.” 

Changbin sighed and shifted on the bed. He inched closer to you and let his legs intertwine with yours. “Well, what do you want to do?”  

“I want to lay here and do nothing. I don’t have the energy to do anything. I just want to lay here beneath the covers and if I’m lucky, God will strike me dead.” 

“Nuh-uh! If God strikes you dead, I’m coming up there and giving him an ass-whooping.” 

“You can’t beat up God, he’s God.” 

“Well then, he can keep his immortal fingers off my significant other. Honey bear, you’re stuck with me forever. No matter what, I’m always gonna be right here beside you.” 

“Thank you.” 

“I know life is hard and I know sometimes you tend to struggle.” He shoved himself up and rubbed his hands together. “So I have decided to squash the sadness out of you.” 

“Huh?” 

“You heard me.” He stumbled and struggled to find his balance on the wavering bed. He rubbed his hands together again and shifted his feet. 

“Here I come!” 

“Changbin, no!” 

“Binnie, yes!”  

You lost your breath as he let his arms out to the sides. Your eyes squeezed shut and you braced for impact, but it never came. Instead, he let out a giggle and plopped back down beside you. 

“You really thought I was gonna squish you? You survive another day and I get to love you one more time.” He wiggled over and rolled on top of you, so your chests were pressed together. You sent an unamused scowl his way. 

“Aw, come on, don’t be like that!” He reached up and pressed your cheeks together. “Goosh, goosh. Who’s a cutie patootie? Who’s my little cutie patootie?” 

Your cheeks went bright red and you tried to shove his hands away, but he wouldn’t stop cooing at you. Your head went back as you laughed and he beamed. 

“There’s the laughter I love. Hold still! I wanna do it again, so I can hear you some more. Oochie, coochie, coo.” 

“Coochie?” Your eyes widened

“Hey! Don’t make it weird!” 

_ _ _

Hyunjin: 

“Have you been feeling off lately too?” Hyunjin asked. 

The two of you had your backs pressed into the overgrown grass. Ticks and bugs were the least of your worries as you stared up at the empty night sky. Your eyes swam across the speckled constellations. “Something like that, yeah.” 

“Miserable and depressed?” 

“Miserable and depressed,” you agreed. 

“I thought so. I’ve noticed that sometimes when you start feeling rough, I feel rough. Maybe we’re connected or-” 

“Maybe you’re just emotionally sensitive and in tune with my emotions or, better yet, you can read body language.” 

“I liked my idea of being emotionally connected better, but okay, sure. Go right ahead and crush my little heart and my dreams.” He dramatically huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I think I will,” you joked softly. 

He huffed once more and a silence grew between the two of you for a while. It took a bit before you responded again. “Do you think the stars look at us and laugh at how tiny we look? Are we looking at them or are they looking at us?” 

“That’s a good question, but I thought stars were dead.” 

“Supposedly, I think, but who really knows.” 

“Space is confusing,” he mumbled beneath his breath. 

“Life is confusing,” you added. 

“I just want to stay in this moment forever.” 

“Me too.” 

“You know,” he shifted and rolled onto his side to face you, “I brought you here to remind you that beauty still exists in the darkness.” 

“How poetic.” 

“Romantic, hmm?” He grinned and leaned closer. “I know you like keeping your struggles hidden, so I’ll be here waiting for you to unleash them. In the meantime, maybe we can find another planet in the maze of stars or something.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Anytime, sweets, anytime.” 

_ _ _

Han: 

“You’re ignoring me!” 

“Han,” you mumbled softly, “I swear it’s not on purpose. I’ve been having a struggle lately and please know that it’s not you. It’s me and my brain. Everything is just a mess lately and I’m so tired.” 

“Wait, why didn’t you say that in the first place? How long has this been happening? What’s going on?” He kicked off his shoes and rushed towards where you were laying on the couch. “Are you okay?” 

“Physically? I’m fine. Mentally? I’m stuck in the waves of depression and everything is so exhausting. I truly don’t mean to ignore you, but all I can think about is how nice a nap sounds. I wake up and barely do anything and then I’m exhausted.” 

“Uh-oh.” He straddled one leg over you and gently sat himself on your waist. “I have some news for your brain.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Uh-huh.” He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against your own. You blushed at the intimate contact and he pushed your head gently back into the leather couch. 

“Listen here brain, you better shape up and ship out. You keep that sad shit away from my significant other. Don’t make me stick my fingers up their nose and give you a good shake. I’ll clock your noggin, baby. Don’t think I won’t give it a good shake and a swift spanking like a piggy bank.” 

“You’d really shove your fingers up my nose?” You whispered in an attempt not to laugh. 

He suddenly leaned back and blinked. His hand went up and he looked at his fingers and then your nose. He cocked his head, stuck up two fingers, and hummed as he shifted and observed them. 

“Now that I don’t think about it, I’m not sure they’d fit. Do you wanna try it?” His entire face lit up at the possibility. 

“Keep your fingers out of my nasal cavity. I don’t know where they’ve been and quite frankly, I don’t wanna know. You’ve probably had them down yo-” 

“Woah, woah, woah! This is a family show! None of that!” 

“You threatened to spank my brain!” 

“If you keep back-talking, you’re gonna be the one to get a spanking.” 

_ _ _

Felix: 

“I would move mountains for you. I would make the world stop tilting on its axis. I’d prick my finger on every spinning wheel until I found my way back to you and I would-” 

“What are you doing?” You asked as you cocked your head. 

Felix was standing in your kitchen early in the morning. In a chef’s hat, a floral apron, and flour smeared across his cheek, he was a mess, but he was a cute mess. He sucked in a deep breath and let it out. 

“One of the guys said you told them you were struggling lately and when you told them and didn’t tell me, I was upset. However, I then realized that you told them when you were drunk which basically meant you weren’t going to tell anyone and the point is-” He stepped away from the counter he was standing in front of and pushed out his arms. 

“I know you have a sweet tooth and I’m not sure when you last ate. I know too much sugar isn’t great for you, but I believe it’s better than starving, so I might have used your kitchen and went overboard.” 

He smiled sheepishly and gestured back to the tray of desserts that sat perched behind him. “So I made you sweet treats and I know you have the day off, so I thought maybe we could hang out.” 

“Felix…” Your voice came out hoarsely as tears filled up your eyes. “You really didn’t have to do that.” 

“You’re right, but I wanted to. You’ve done so much to make my life easier and I wanted to return the favor.”  

“Honestly, I don’t think today is a good day to hang out. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I have the energy to go outside and I…” You trailed off as your hand went to the back of your neck. “I just came out to get a glass of water. I’m still really tired, so…”

“Hey, that’s okay! I’ve been up all night and nothing sounds better than cuddling you. At least, if you allow me to.” 

“As long as you wipe the flour off your face.” 

“Done deal.” 

“And maybe bring two of those chocolate cookies, so we can have a mini snack.” 

“Say no more.” 

“Thank you, sunshine.” 

“Hey, I should be thanking you. You make me so happy and I can’t wait to cuddle you again. It’s been quite a while since the last time that happened. Come on!” He took off his apron and hat. “Let’s eat and head back to bed.”

_ _ _

Seungmin: 

“You’re doing that thing you do when you’re anxious again.” Seungmin pointed out as you picked at the skin along the side of your nail. When you didn’t respond, he tried again. “Hello?” 

No response. 

He sighed, reached out, and placed a hand on yours. You jumped, frightened by the sudden warmth, before you relaxed again. “What are you doing?” 

“You’re picking at your fingers. You told me to tell you to stop it when I caught you doing it.” 

“Oh, right. Sorry.” You pulled your hands away and laid them at your sides. 

“Is something wrong? You’ve seemed pretty lost the past few days. Your mind seems to be elsewhere. It’s like you’re here physically, but not mentally.” 

“I haven’t been the best lately. I think my depression is starting to come back again. I swear, I’m trying to help myself, but sometimes it seems a bit pointless. I seem okay and then I fall apart again.” 

“It’s okay to struggle, but it’s not okay to do it silently.” 

“That’s quite the shocker coming from you. You always like keeping your struggles to yourself. It almost seems a bit hypocritical.” 

He groaned and tossed his head back. “I know and I’m trying to work on that. If I have to work on my issues, it means you have to work on yours. How about this? We ramble our issues to each other and then we pretend that it never happened and go back to normal after being vulnerable.” 

“What’s the catch?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“The catch is that we keep opening up to each other during the next few days, but only at specific times. That way, we’re not overwhelmed and we still get out our issues, even if we don’t want to, but once the time is up, we don’t talk about them again.” 

“Good enough.” 

“You start.” 

“No, you.” 

“No, you.” 

“You’re impossible.” 

“Up yours, Seungmin.” 

_ _ _

Jeongin: 

“Don’t give me that look, you know I cave easily when you look at me like that. This isn’t fair!” You complained with your arms crossed. A pout sat on your face as Jeongin laid in your lap with a full dose of puppy dog eyes and a drooping bottom lip. 

“I just wanna know what’s wrong with you. You’re not laughing at my jokes and you’re distant. You keep staring at the blank wall and it’s starting to freak me out. Are you seeing aliens or something?” 

“I’m not seeing aliens!” 

“Well, you might be!” 

“We don’t even know if aliens exist.” 

“If they do, I’d tell you that you have to tell me what’s wrong. If you don’t, I’d allow them to probe you.” 

“Woah! Woah! Woah! Huh?” Your eyes widened in shock as you stared over at him. “You’d let them probe me?” 

He pouted and shifted, so his face was facing the TV instead of you. “That’s what happens when you don’t open up to your lover. You get probed by aliens.” 

“That’s bullshit.” 

“I’d call them off if you just told me what was wrong with you.” 

“You don’t even know if they’d listen to you or not.” 

“Yeah, I do. I literally sang Maknae on top. Obviously, that’d be their national anthem and my face would be on their flag.” 

“And what planet do you live on? Narcissism?” 

He scoffed, “pft, no. Obviously, it’s planet pride.” 

“For more than one reason,” you whispered beneath your breath. 

“Huh?” He shifted to glance over his shoulder at you. 

“Nothing. Anyway, for your information, I’ve had a rough few days and I’ve mentally checked out. I don’t want to say it’s depression, but-” 

“It’s sadness that could turn back into your depression?” He guessed. 

“Something like that. I need to schedule another appointment with my therapist, but every time I think about making the call, I want to burst into tears.” 

“How about you email her instead?” 

You opened your mouth to disagree and then paused. “Well, I guess I could do that. I didn’t really think about it, but that’d work.” 

“You better get on that before the aliens come down and probe.” 

“I’m going to kick your ass.” 

“Good luck, babe. You can’t reach it when you’re here being sad.” You rolled your eyes and he laughed. “You better write that email by tomorrow. The aliens are merciful for one business day and then they’re coming to search your insides.” 

“What are they going to find besides my depression?” 

“Stupidity.” 

“You’re so lucky that I love you and I appreciate you.” 

“Like I said, stupidity.” 

“I’m going to toss you onto a UFO and send your ass to the moon.” 

“That’s not gonna save you from alien probing. The aliens and I are linked up. We can talk to each other with our brains.” 

“I can’t believe you have this planned out.” 

“And I can’t believe you don’t.” 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lina-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi @stellasays45

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[whiskeyghoul]

Hi can you please write a Hotchner x reader

Reader and Hotchner are married and reader is extremely pregnant. It’s kinda like season 1 episode 22 where hotch sends Elle home but instead it's the reader. And similar events take place, except the reader is kidnapped instead of shot. And it’s a quest to find and save her.

Stay safe, be smart || [Aaron Hotchner x Pregnant!Reader]

A/N: Thank you for the request! This will be a little break between the new sbmws update, since it is taking a bit longer to flesh out. It sounded super interesting and high stakes to me so I hope you enjoy it. It was interesting to write something a lot more case based than what I am used to writing. So if anyone has any more requests please let me know!

WC: 3.3K

Tags: Angst, violence, pregnancy, aaron x reader, pregnant reader, 18+ case mentions, implied violence, death and murder, fluff at the end I suppose.

Warnings: Case details, violence against pregnant women (no real violence described but implied), death, murder, general criminal minds content.

Aaron’s pov

The sun was beating down on the team as Aaron stepped out of the SUV. It was sweltering in the Phoenix heat. He opened the passenger door, helping you out of the vehicle. Married just a year, you were now pregnant and nearing your maternity leave date. “Thank you.” Your voice was honey sweet to him. Your hand in his before you took it to rest on your belly. He’d felt protective over you for weeks now. Afraid something would happen to you, or the precious little being growing inside of you. He’d asked you every week to take early leave, yet you, stubborn as ever, never agreed. Now he just tried to keep you safe in the field, and when he could put you on office duties.

This case was going to be a hard one.

Greeted by the local police, they led the team to the site where the last body was found. Opening the door of the shed made a wall of smell slam into his face. The crime scene was anything but pretty, with the weather the decomposition had set on quickly, leaving the non air conditioned shed they walked into one of the worst smelling scenes they had been to in a while. He knew it was bad when he had seen the picture, it was even worse in real life. When he heard you enter behind him it was only a moment before you bolted back out the door. “I’ll be right back.” Aaron said to the team before following you outside.

He knew what he would find, but still it pulled at his heart to see you hunched over, emptying your breakfast in a bush just a few feet away from the scene. Your nose had been extremely sensitive the past few weeks, he’d felt bad every time you mentioned just feeling nauseous from the smell of certain things. Jack’s soccer shoes for one, had been banished to the garage. “Are you alright, sweetheart?” he asked, walking over to gently rub your back as you heaved a sigh. Standing back up to full height once you felt confident enough that there wouldn’t be any more upchucking. “The smell, Aaron, it’s horrible.” You wiped the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand. “I know.” he offered an apologetic smile as he pulled you into a side hug. Pressing his lips chastely against your temple. “There’s a bottle of water in the SUV, I think you might need to sit this one out.” He tried to make his voice soothing, placating. He didn’t want you to protest against it. 

“I can sit in the SUV, wait until we get back to the precinct and then work from there?” You said it like a question. Though it was clear you would rather be in the field, that was your place. Aaron nodded his head yes, “That sounds like a smart plan. We’ll get back as soon as possible.” He fished the keys to the SUV out of his pocket, handing them to you with a small, comforting smile. You took them, lips pressed in a thin line, nodding your head before taking off. Aaron walked back to the shed, ready to face the crime scene and finish up as quickly as possible.

The body was that of a woman, the third one in three weeks. Exactly a week apart, the unsub was consistent to say the least. The previous bodies had been thoroughly inspected, Aaron had no doubt they would find similar evidence on this woman. The previous bodies had been raped, but there was no semen left behind. The wounds were a near exact match, in the type, deep slashes on the limbs. Worst of all was the deep, surgical cut mirroring that of a C section. Each victim had been pregnant, the infants bodies were found close to the mother. He knew it was a tough case, emotionally it was going to be worse with you close. The idea of sending you home nestling in the back of his mind. Just in case. To be safe. But he also knew you would never agree. Which was still hard to accept. When they got to the precinct Aaron put you on geographical profile duty together with Spencer. There you would be alright.

“Can’t I go help interview the family?” You spoke up, the rest of the team looked at you. Usually you had just accepted the task handed to you. Aaron looked up from the papers he had just gone to reorganize. “Are you not satisfied with your task, Y/N?” he quirked a brow, looking at you he noticed the shift in your body language. Something in you was determined to get out of the precinct and ‘be more useful’ as you would put it. “I just think that Reid does not need my help on the geographical profile. He’s perfectly capable of doing it himself. Like he has done the cases before.” You crossed your arms. Resting them on the protruding belly, with an arched brow that conveyed an air of annoyance. Aaron sighed, he didn’t want to let up, but you did have a point. Reid had managed fine on his own for the last few cases. “Fine, you can go with JJ to interview the families. But only for the interviews. Stay safe.” He gave in. His lips pressed into a thin line. He really didn’t want to play favorites. Yet he relented so easily at times like these. Your small triumphant smile was barely there but he got a glimpse of it before you turned to the door, leaving him alone to ponder why he even said yes. 

“I thought I told you only the interviews!” Aaron had to take a deep breath, calm down, but his blood was rushing in his veins. If something happened to you, well, he wouldn’t forgive himself. You sat in the back of an ambulance, getting your wounds tended to. He had gotten to the scene as quickly as possible, racing from the precinct to the home of the family. “Thanks to me we have a suspect in custody.” You retorted, wincing as you moved your arms. There was a deep cut that looked to be made with glass, scrapes on your knees that tore straight through the pants. “You could have ruined the entire case. We don’t know if this is the unsub. We didn’t even have a profile yet.” he continued to scold. When he heard you had attacked a man, who was lingering around the house of the family, he knew he had made the wrong choice in letting you go. “He was stalking them! Clearly a sign of a killer checking up on the devastation he has caused.” you raised your voice. A certain mix of anger and panic mingling in the sound of it. 

Aaron sighed, pinching his furrowed brow, you had gotten hurt. “Go to the hotel. You are off the case.” his voice sounded cold to him. It must have sounded even colder to you. “W-what?” You stumbled over the word. He looked back at you, to see your jaw slack, eyes wide in confusion. “You are off the case. I can’t have an agent running around and attacking anyone with no probable cause. We need evidence, not intuition.” He explained. You closed your mouth. A deep swallow as you nodded your head. He could see your jaw tick, holding back from saying anything. “I’m sorry… I’ll see you for dinner.” He whispered but you looked away, eyes cast to the ground as though looking at him would hurt. He felt a tug at his heart. It was for the best. You would be safe in the hotel. He made a mental note to bring your favorite food to make it up to you.

Your pov.

Aaron was right. You had been reckless, even more so than usual. Now you were just reaping what you sowed. The wound on your arm stung, so did your knees. Everything had been cleaned with alcohol and bandaged up nicely by the medics on scene. JJ had stayed with you and drove you back down to the hotel, but you didn’t feel like going inside just yet. Being stuck in a stuffy room with just your thoughts didn’t sound that appealing. And you probably wouldn’t be able to nap. The little one in your belly was using your lungs as their own personal punching bag.

There was a park nearby the hotel, and a stroll in the slowly cooling late afternoon sounded nice. So you had changed into a flowy skirt, since you wouldn’t be doing any running after unsubs anymore. The pants you were wearing were delegated to the trashcan in your hotel room. The afternoon air was still incredibly hot but more bearable compared to earlier in the day. The park was spacious, you walked towards the playground where laughter sounded out from the multiple young children running around. Soon you’d have one of your own children begging you to play tag, going down the slide with them. You smiled to yourself, placing your hand on your belly again, absentmindedly stroking it in a comforting motion. 

You watched for a while, though an unsettling feeling crept up the back of your spine. The hairs on your neck began to stand on end. Having a look around to see if anything suspicious was happening. Maybe you were over reacting. Overly sensitive due to hormones and the entire proceedings of the day. This is what got you kicked off the case. Scolding yourself internally for letting this feeling take over. You left the park, maybe it would be better to stay at the hotel. At Least you won’t get the impending feeling of dread there.

“‘scuse me miss.” A voice said, you looked up to see a man approaching you. Your guard immediately went up. “Can I help you?” You asked, trying to quell the thoughts of mistrust. “Just wanted to ask if you knew the way to the art museum.” He seemed innocent enough. Dark black hair, a clean shave, nice white blouse with no stains. No clear markers that would need you to be on guard. “I’m sorry, I am just here for the week. I don’t know.” You said honestly, though internally cursing yourself for revealing you were not native to the area. A stupid mistake, though it wouldn’t matter if there was nothing to fear. “Ah alright, thanks anyways.” He flashed a charming smile before taking a few steps to walk past.

You let out a soft sigh. See. No reason to be so nervous. You scolded yourself internally. Taking a few steps back in the direction of the hotel before you felt a pinch in your neck, a hand clasped over your mouth and everything went dark.

When you opened your eyes it was still dark, slowly adjusting to the surroundings. Your hands were tied down to a bed, along with our legs and straps around your torso. Neck incredibly stiff from whatever happened. Lights turned on, blinding you, blinking rapidly to adjust to the sudden influx of bright, white light. “You’re probably wondering where you are right now.” A voice called out from over speakers. Training kicked in, knowing it wasn’t smart to engage the unsub in any way like this. They want a reaction, something that allows them to relish in the fear they have created. Biting your tongue you stayed quiet. 

“Well, it doesn’t matter where you are. Because you won’t leave.”

Aaron’s pov

When Aaron entered the hotel room the lights were off. He noticed just how silent it was. Usually you would be tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable when taking a nap. But it was still early. He walked in quietly, trying to not disturb you if you had finally managed to get some well deserved rest. He felt horrible for kicking you off the case, but it was the smartest thing for him to do. The bag of take out rustled in his hand when he put it on the small desk pressed against the wall. Turning to look at the bed, it was still pristinely made, no sign of you. The only sign that you had been there was the pair of pants that laid in the garbage can. 

His blood ran cold. There could be a simple explanation. You went out for a walk. Or down to the lobby for some tea. He quickly took his phone out of his pocket. Hoping that you wouldn’t be too angry to pick up. Dialing your contact, it rang once before immediately heading to voicemail. Your chipper voice saying your name on the other end of the line did nothing to calm his increasingly quickly beating heart. He called again. Same thing. His hands began to feel just a little clammy. ‘Where are you?’ ‘Please text me.’ ‘Are you okay?’ All his text messages arrived but weren’t opened.

He dialed JJ’s number. Who picked up almost instantly. “You went to the hotel with y/n, right?” He asked, his voice strained. “Yes, I watched her walk inside.” JJ sounded a little confused, he could almost hear the frown in her voice. “She’s not here. I can’t reach her, and she never turns off her phone.” He sighed. “I’ll meet you in the lobby. I’ll try and call her.” She suggested it before hanging up the phone. Aaron left the room, leaving the take out behind to grow cold in favor of looking for you. 

When he reached the lobby not only was JJ there, she had apparently informed the rest of the team. All sitting in the leather chairs around a short table. “I can’t reach her either.” JJ spoke up as soon as she saw him. “We’ve all been trying.” Spencer chimed in. His eyes held a certain fear. It was the least comforting feeling knowing that no one on the team could reach you. “She is the unsub’s type. We have to assume that they got her, and we need to be quick.” Aaron’s voice didn’t sound like his own to him. Having to take a certain distance away from the personal part of what was happening. He didn’t want to assume the worst, but he knew he had to. They had a profile and a geographical one too, atleast. A male, who likely lost his wife or girlfriend during childbirth, along with the child. Looking for a replacement, and when the baby doesn’t look like the one he lost, he gets rid of it. A harrowing thought.

“Alright, I will call Garcia to trace her phone. Maybe we can see where it last pinged.” Derek voiced. A smart idea. Aaron couldn’t really think, his mind reeling with things that could have happened to you. “Thank you.” He said and nodded his head. “Prentiss, Rossi, could you canvas the area of overlap in the geographical profile? Take Reid if you must. We know they take the victims to a secondary location, look for something isolated, something that won’t be noticed.” He added, looking at the three agents. “JJ, could you talk with the precinct? Get the police out on the street, looking for signs of y/n or foul play.” JJ nodded her head in return. “Alright, any information you call me, let's go.” Aaron nodded his own head, trying to instill some form of confidence in himself. It was hard.

Aaron kept tabs on everything as minutes ticked by, they seemed like hours. Penelope called with the last ping of your phone, apparently when he had first called it still pinged before it was turned off. Perhaps the unsub scrambling after making a mistake. You did keep your phone in an unusual place just in case. He remembered when he first saw you put your phone in the side of your boot, a strange habit he quickly began to find endearing. Derek, JJ, and himself got into one of the SUV’s as they got the information. JJ went to call Emily to meet them at the last ping place. An ambulance was called for backup, along with some of the agents from the precinct. 

As they raced down a dusty road out of the city, the fear began to take over again. With what happened with Hailey, he couldn’t lose anyone else. He didn’t think that he would be able to bear that. His mind reeled with the idea of having to tell Jack what happened. Losing another mother figure, he didn’t know what damage that would do to him. And his unborn sibling. It would be his worst nightmare. His jaw set, trying not to think the dark thoughts, wanting to remove them from his mind. You were going to be okay. They were going to find you alive and well.

When they spotted a dilapidated white van in the distance, next to a small barn he knew they were in the right spot. “Stop the car, we can’t let him know we’re here.” Aaron instructed, Derek slowed down, parking the car about 20 feet away, hoping the engines didn’t give them away. The second black SUV pulled up next to them. “First, the van, we need to check that no one is inside, then we go to the barn.” He instructed the agents. All geared up in their vests and checking their sidearms. They moved together to the van, no one seemed to be in the driver's seat. The back doors were unlocked and when they opened them Aaron’s stomach dropped. Screens lined one wall, with a computer set up rivaling that of their tech analyst. 2 screens, still lit up with a live camera feed. Two different angles that showed you, tied to a bed, a gag in your mouth. A figure standing over you, dressed in surgical gowns. This was all being recorded.

He stormed out the van, taking the gun from his holster and getting it ready. He walked over to the barn door, the unsub was stupid enough to not lock anything. Maybe it was arrogance. But it made his work a lot easier. He nodded towards Derek, who kicked the door in. “Hands up, drop the knife.” Aaron called as he raised his gun, walking into the barn. The man looked up from you, having a big knife in hand he froze. Looking down for a quick second in contemplation. “Whatever you are thinking of doing, don’t. You are surrounded, either step away from her and put the knife down or face the consequences.” He could feel the blood rushing through his ears, anger and fear colliding inside of him. What he wanted to do was shoot him, punish him for hurting you. But he knew that wouldn’t be the intelligent thing to do. The man stepped away, reluctantly, and from a few feet away he dropped the knife.

Aaron walked over to you, quick strides as he holstered his gun. His hands were shaking as he reached you. Looking at the small cuts on your arms. The wound from earlier that day reopened. He ungagged you, watching as tears started to spill from your eyes, hearing repeated apologies fall from your lips. “Shh… no, I’m sorry. I was so worried. I’m sorry.” He shushed, petting your hair, letting the soft locks slip between his fingers. He quickly worked to unbuckle your limbs and body from the bed. As soon as he could he picked you up, holding you close. As if he could still lose you if he didn’t. “I shouldn’t have sent you away. I’m sorry. I got you now.” He mumbled, his hands holding you tightly as he felt your unregulated breathing against his neck. “I shouldn’t have done it. I should have just thought.” You apologized and he shook his head.

“It’s okay. It’s alright. You’re safe.” He picked you up, taking you to the ambulance and not leaving your side again.

[avalordream]

Part 2: Imagine you get isekaied in Our Life. Only thing is that you wake up as a child and remember everything. You can only save at this point but you can still access the save and load menu and see your previous runs.

Meanwhile your precious neighbor is slowly becoming self aware, getting deja vu with every passing second- as if this has all happened before...

A/N: This took way longer than I thought it would but I hope you enjoy!

Nothing was without consequence

Noelani knew something was off with MC…

For all she knew, something was wrong with her child and she didn’t know what to do

True, MC looked and acted mostly the same

But the look in their eyes…

No kid suddenly just looked so…lost 

They visibly looked hopeless and upset…

She didn’t know what to do..

Noelani went on numerous doctor’s visits with Pam but they all said the same thing- 

Her kid was just going through an episode or a mood shift and that it was completely normal. 

To every single one, they ran standard procedures and MC acted… completely after the second or third. 

The first appointment they went to, MC was confused but they were honest about their answers. 

After that? Noelani had a feeling they either caught on or didn’t want to bother anyone - smart as that was for an eight year old

She saw through each front, painstakingly held up by the impression they set on that first initial appointment

It was fake. 

But you wouldn’t know that unless you spent 24 hours a day with the kid.

Noelani didn’t know what to do…

She already tried asking MC if they were ok but she wasn’t blind. 

She loved MC and Elizabeth fiercely - attuned to their little habits - and as was Pam.

So she knew as well as Pam that they tended to share some blunt wisdom / tell a few white lies / spin quite the tall tales.

Yet they giggled, saying “Ma! You’re so funny! But I’m ok! Really!” / pat her arm, thinking for a moment before saying “I’m ok Ma. I just… feel a lil’ different. That’s all.” / paused before wrapping their arms around her middle with a small nuzzle. “I’m… not feeling too good. But I’ll get better soon. Promise.”

The exact opposite than usual…

No matter how comforting they tried to be, MC’s words were oddly unsettling… 

It was so… out of character for them.

The doctors had assured both of them that kids tend to have some mood swings now and then and that it was completely normal. Perfect even.

Even so, she could see it affecting Elizabeth as well.

She would often come barrelling down to herself or Pam whenever MC would shut themselves in their room…

“Ma!! MC doesn’t want to play with me! They said they’re too tired!”

“Mooms!! MC said that they don’t want to play dolls with me and that dolls are for babies! We played dolls YESTERDAY!!”

“Mooom! MC’s not leaving their room! And-! And!! They said they don’t feel like playing with me and Shiloh at the park!”

More frustratingly, at least for a time, was when Pamela tried to console her, seemingly taking on the side of the doctors, insisting she relax

“Kids go through mood swings! It’s normal! Don’t worry ‘Lani!”

“The docs said they were ok, right? Then it’s settled!”

“Don’t fret, Noelani! The kid’ll go back to normal in no time!” 

Sometimes it felt like Pam was just saying those things to comfort her…as if she didn’t believe her.

In retrospect, she knew her wife meant well but in the moment? 

It felt like the world had pitted her favorite person against her.

It felt personal. 

For some time, it caused some friction between the pair.

Friction that didn’t go unnoticed by neither Elizabeth, nor MC. 

Elizabeth was more outspoken on her worry, although she acted like nothing was wrong on the outside.

MC…acted as if nothing was wrong but…she saw the worried glances and sneaky looks of concern from them when they thought nobody was looking

If she wasn’t…as…observant as she was…she would’ve assumed they were just acting aloof.

Slowly, she began to see herself against the world- beginning to question her very position

Why was not a single person helping her?

Didn’t they see how startlingly different her kid had become?

Even their college friends didn’t see a difference….

Surely, there was a reason everyone but her was noticing…

Was she really… overreacting?

Eventually, she stopped bringing it up altogether, although the underlying tension remained for some time.

“Noelaniiii! You still here with us?”

Her head jerked up as she registered the faces of college friends in front of her, unfocused for a moment as her vision cleared to check in the finer details.

“Ah- No, I apologize- What were we talking about?”

Their college friends were nearing the end of their trip and this was the last of many hangouts. At least for the time being. 

After this, it was time for their flight back home so Pam decided to hire a babysitter to watch the kids so they could come.

“Well, it’s alright. We just noticed the house in front has just been sold!”

“Oooh! That’s right! Apparently, it was previously owned by a family a state away! Their home away from home!”

“Aww! That must be nice!”, Noelani hummed, envying this mystery family for a moment. How nice would that be? If she could have a home away from home, she’d have one in Hawaii… The kids’ grandparents just moved back too… 

“Right?? I wonder who’s moving in though?”

“Ditto! Guess we’ll just have to see!”, Pam chuckled, smile bright as their friends gave their opinions on what the new neighbor would be like.

Recently, the couple had reached a truce.

Truthfully, they both wanted the best for their children.

Noelani agreed to try to not worry herself into stressing about them- if this was how she worried about them now, how was she going to live when they were teenagers?, Pam reasoned.

Meanwhile, Pam agreed to be a bit more mindful if any worries were brought up and not to be as dismissive.

Easy to say but...she was glad they were talking again, smile brighter as she felt Pam's fingers intertwine with her own.

Their voices drifted in and out of Noelani’s ears as she sipped on her lemonade with a giggle of her own.

Life ebbs and flows like the sea…That’s the beautiful thing about it…

It changes just a little everyday. 

The best we can do, Lani thought to herself, is adapt and go with the flow.

Only time will tell...

And just like that… summer started.

-> Next... <-

-> Previous... <-

-> Extras <-

⊹ ‧₊˚ Isekai Self Aware Taglist: @lilqi @annoying-mary @mellozhi ˚₊‧ ⊹

A/N.2: And just like that, we're finally starting this properly! Just letting ya'll know now, I am in college and thus, future updates might be delayed! I don't have a set schedule to write and stuff and I tend to do it when motivation hits. I liked trying to see what Noelani's thought process would be in this scenario and by GOD- It was HARD. But! I did my best! Aaaand, I don't think it turned out too bad! Again, I hope you enjoyed! :D

[wh0reforcoriolanussnow]

Eyes Never Lie || D. Targaryen x oc (Dear Motherhood Series)

GIF by me :) pls give cred if used DIVIDERS by @straywords

summary: Leyla confronts Daemon about Rhaenyra minutes before Aegon is baptised.

a/n: inspired by the episode from the crown where Elizabeth and Philip (Matt) argue about his loyalty. also i dont think that they baptised the children it this period of time but lets just imagine they did for the sake of the story.

Dear Motherhood Series Masterlist

“Why do you look at her like that?” Her voice was strained as she sniffled. The couple had been arguing for about 20 minutes now, the topic? Rhaenyra and Daemon. “Like what?” Daemon spat, fed up about the argument that was going to happen one way or another.

Ever since the young Hightower gave birth to their 3rd child, and Rhaenyra coincidentally came back to court the same day, things felt different. Different between Leyla and Daemon, different between Daemon and Rhaenyra.

“Like-like you’re in love with her!” She furrowed her eyebrows as her lips quivered, she didn’t mean to blurt that out but she was anticipating for her husband’s answer. Daemon physically paused hearing what his wife had to say. “Say something. Please, Daemon” Her voice cracked.

She gave him everything. All of her. And most importantly, she loved him. After everything they went through, facing parenthood together, the ups and down of their marriage. She refused to believe that he had let her go so quickly.

Daemon sighed, massaging his forehead with his freehand. “Leyla, I don’t want to talk about this right now, please my love.” She felt her heart break into a million pieces. Daemon pushing her away stung her. “B-but why? I want to talk about this right now!”

“Please-“ He was cut off by a knock at the door, “Sister, hurry up! it’s all most starting” Alicent called out from the other side of the door. “We’re coming!” Leyla calls back as Daemon looks at his wife with saddened eyes. “I can’t even with you-“ Leyla quickly turned around leaving him there.

Whether or not he chose to attend his son’s baptism and be a supportive and loving husband was completely up to him. The brunette quickly walked to the nursery where the children were. She scooped Aegon from the handmaiden and let out a breath. “You alright, my lady?” Alysanne places a hand on Leyla’s shoulder. She didn’t answer, only looked at her and walked off.

~

The ceremony had begun and there was no sight of Daemon. Leyla felt like a fool infront of everyone. She could feel all their judgemental looks because her husband wasn’t there standing by her side. She looked to Rhaenyra, the Targaryen Princess not even looking her in the eye.

Just before Aegon was about to be blessed, Daemon had slipped into place beside Leyla and their children. She felt a huge sense of relief, atleast the looks would stop, but it didn’t make her forget about the argument they had just mere minutes ago.

Leyla handed Aegon to the maester and looked back at Daemon who was already staring back at her, his expression unreadable. After Aegon was blessed, she was given back to the young Hightower. She looked up at Rhaenyra before kissing her son’s forehead and giving him to Daemon, urging him to cradle Aegon.

Leyla’s eyes connected with her father’s. Otto just staring at Daemon in a gaze she couldn’t quite explain. She always noticed how Rhaenyra’s expression would change whenever Daemon was holding his child, and Leyla wanted to get the satisfaction of watching her watch him holding their son. As expected, Rhaenyra stared at her uncle before quickly looking away.

After the christening, there a celebration was held for Leyla and Daemon’s third child. After bidding her children off to their wet nurse, she approached her father with a tired sigh. “Daughter, how do you like the celebration?” He nodded his head at Leyla.

“Delightful,” She sarcastically answers, taking a cup from one of the servants and downing the liquid. Otto looked at her in disapproval as Leyla’s eyes wander around the room. Her eyes focused on her husband. He was talking to someone, but she couldn’t see who it was as he was blocking the person.

“How is your Husband, I heard you haven’t been waking up to him?” Leyla cleared her throat. She had no idea how he knew that. But it was true, she had not woken up to her husband in their bed for quite some time after she came back.

“Daemon is fine. And He’s just…. busy with things, that’s all.” She smiled fakely at her father, not wanting to alarm him that their marriage was not going smoothly. “Hmm. Busy with things, or busy with someone?” Otto Hightower was no fool.

The two stared at each other for abit, Leyla didn’t know how to reply to that. She only gulped and looked back to where Daemon was. He was busying himself with their children.

“Excuse me father,” She smoothed down her dress before approaching Daemon. “Can we talk, Husband?” She softly says as Daemon looks up form Baelon. “I’m occupied Leyla, can we talk later-“ “No.” She quickly cut him off making herself and Daemon surprised at how quickly she interjected. “Children, go back to Alyssane please” Daemon drops his hand from Baelon with a sigh as the children kiss their father and mother goodbye.

Without uttering another word, Leyla turned on her heels and Daemon followed. They both walked to Daemon’s study. He softly closed the door behind him as he watches Leyla, her back to him. “The only person I have every loved is you.” She spoke, breaking the silence as she finally turns to look at him, eyes glassy.

“And can you honestly look me in the eyes and say the same?” A tear rolled down Leyla’s pink cheek. Daemon stood there, fists clenched. “What is this about Leyla?” He softly spoke, eyes trained on his feet. “You know exactly what this is about Daemon” She stormed up to him so that they were at close proximity.

“I’m talking about her.” Daemon softly chuckled. “You are paranoid. Nothing is happening between her and me.” She rolled her eyes, “Paranoid? Yes, I may be paranoid but I have good damn reason to be! Before we wed. You loved Rhaenyra, you loved your niece. And now she’s back in court.”

“What’s to say you go back to your old ways? I know you Targaryen’s have queer customs.” Leyla folded her arms as tears continued to cascade down her cheeks. “Leyla, please. We have our children, I chose to forget about her a long time ago I found out I was going to be a father.” He raised his voice. “I don’t believe you,” She whispered before pushing past him and opening the door to leave.

Her eyes widen in horror as she stumbles back. Rhaenyra was stood there outside his study. “Leyla-“ “What are you doing here?” She interrupted her as Rhaenyra’s face drops, Daemon came up behind her, his hand resting on her waist—making her slightly flinch to which Daemon ignored—to see what the commotion was about.

“Nyra.” He said, surprised. “Sorry, It’s been quite some time since I returned, the Red Keep is quite big, easy to get lost in” She chuckled as Leyla didn’t believe one word. She had grown up in this castle. There was no way she simply got lost and ended up infront of Daemon’s study.

“Well, I don’t know what business you wish to do here, infront of my Husband’s study.” She raised an eyebrow at the Targaryen Princess. Although their significant height difference, Leyla did not falter. Rhaenyra awkwardly smiles. “Yes, my apologies.” She looks at Daemon briefly before walking off, the two watching her figure leave.

“She’s lived her whole life here and was only gone for what? 3 years? I don’t believe her” She scoffs before walking away from Daemon and returning back to the throne room. It was safe to say that Leyla gave Daemon a well deserved silent treatment for awhile.

[demonpiratehuntress]

jelly

OPLA!Zoro x F!Reader

Summary - Your knees often turn to jelly at the worst times, and after the third time Zoro witnesses it he decides to confront you about it.

A/N: This is a problem with I struggle with everyday, so I thought I might write about it. If anyone knows what I can do to stop this feeling, please let me know. I've tried everything at this point. I also have a variation of this one-shot I wrote on Quotev, so if anyone wants to read that one too let me know :)

Maybe this had been a bad idea. Choosing to explore the new island with the others instead of listening to your body and staying on the ship. You had regrets. So many regrets. But there was nothing you could do now except push on and pretend nothing was wrong.

Your forehead glistened with sweat underneath the cheerful gaze of the sun, not from the heat but from the sheer effort of keeping your body upright and your legs from knocking together. The weakness in your knees was growing by the second, the jelly-like feeling you had grown accustomed to returning and worsening by the second. Any longer and you might actually fall over.

"You guys can go on," you told the others, finding it difficult to even speak. "I'm just gonna...take a break."

"Are you okay?"

You looked up at your green-haired boyfriend, concern prevalent in his chocolate eyes. You slowly nodded and forced a smile, not wanting to worry him with this.

"I'm fine."

Zoro knew better than to press, because although he was concerned for your safety he knew you wouldn't tell him out of the fear of ruining the crew's trip. He would have to ask later on, when you would be more willing to confide in him.

"I'll stay with you."

"No, it's okay-" You started, but he just leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. He wasn't going anywhere.

You sighed. Trying to keep your facade up a little longer was going to be extremely difficult. Your knees were already moving towards each other, the impending knocking making your nausea worsen. You felt sick to your stomach, weak and frail and delicate, but there was nothing you could do about it. And this wasn't the first time it had happened either. There had been many other times where you'd felt this way, and then eventually blacked out. But all of those times had fortunately been away from the eyes of your crewmates and your boyfriend.

"What's wrong?"

Your knees buckled, knocking against each other twice before you fell to your knees, the weakness overwhelming your body. You blinked slowly, your breathing already growing fast and heavy, increased nausea threatening to propel your lunch from your stomach.

"(Name)!"

The alarmed swordsman kneeled beside you, a hand coming to rest on your shoulder. He tried to get you to look at him, but you were fighting his grip on your chin because you didn't want him to see your eyes - glossed over with tears. Some had already fallen, the strain of trying to control your breathing taking your attention away from trying to stop yourself from crying. It was too much.

"Zoro..." You mumbled, your body slackening even more. You tumbled sideways, but were fortunate enough to fall right into Zoro's arms.

"This is not nothing," he spoke lowly, but you could hear the worry in his voice. "What is it? Are you sick?" He placed a hand on your forehead, but you didn't have a fever. "Are you hurt? Damn it, I should have asked sooner."

Your eyes widened when he said that. You hadn't realised he had witnessed your earlier episodes. You opened your mouth to say something, but before you could he stood up and lifted you right up into his arms, bridal-style. You rested your head on his shoulder, dizziness blurring your vision.

That was the first time Zoro realised you weren't telling them everything.

-

The second episode he witnessed happened when you two were running away from Marines. You and Zoro had been assigned to grocery shopping for the ship, while the others were shopping for other necessary things. But unfortunately someone recognised Zoro, and called Marines stationed in that town.

Zoro only realised you were starting to get weak and dizzy again when you slowed down, not being able to run any further because your knees were knocking together again. His eyes widened and he turned back around to quickly deal with the Marines - something he had originally suggested since it was only about four of them.

You collapsed to your knees a few feet away and started sobbing, which made Zoro angry. He thought maybe the Marines had caused it by stressing you out - and he might not actually be that far off.

When they were dealt with, he scooped you up again and all but ran back to the Going Merry with you in his arms, yelling for Nami to come help him.

-

The third time it happened, he decided to confront you about it.

You were on another island, this time celebrating the defeat of a corrupt Marine official that was terrorising the town. The townspeople had insisted that you guys stay and celebrate, and once they'd mentioned food Luffy was sold.

So here you were, dancing with a few of the local children while Zoro watched fondly from where he sat holding a large pint - his third one for the night, if you were keeping track correctly.

The nausea hit first. You suddenly stumbled, but tried to angle yourself away from the kids. Zoro was up in an instant and a few seconds later caught you from behind, just as you were about to completely fall over from avoiding collision with the children. You immediately turned around and leaned against him, burying your face in his neck as you fisted his shirt and tried to focus on how good he smelled instead of how badly your knees were shaking.

The panic returned. His arms encircled your waist to support you, but his grip was tightening by the second. Almost to the point of it being painful. Almost. Zoro had never been scared in his life, but watching this happen to you over and over and you just brushing it off as exhaustion terrified him.

"Let's go."

He didn't even wait for your reply, and he didn't bother to tell the others you were leaving. He even left his drink half finished, a testament to his extreme concern.

"Okay, what is going on with you?"

Despite his flat tone, you knew he was worried. And you knew you had been worrying him too much lately. He had given you time to relax and breathe, even helped with that by cuddling you and getting you anything you asked for, but now he wanted answers. And you couldn't back out of this one.

You sighed, "I have a tendency to faint. My knees get weak, I get nauseous, and I feel dizzy. It happens a lot, and I can't control it. I originally thought it was because of my body lacking sugar, but I'm starting to think it's stress-related too." You couldn't meet his gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you," you mumbled, "I thought it would at least happen when I wasn't around you guys."

He sighed, making a sound of disapproval before his arms enveloped you again, pulling you right against his chest.

"You scared me," he admitted, but the words didn't come easy and you could see that. "I was scared I was going to lose you. That this was some kind of fatal disease, or something."

You looked up at him and saw how panicked he looked, and your expression softened, "You won't lose me."

He met your gaze, "You're the best damn thing that's ever happened to me, and I...I don't think I can live with myself if something were to happen to you." Despite his struggle, you could see he was being genuine. "I need you to tell me these things, (Name). I know I'm not good at showing it, but I..." He breathed in sharply. "I love..."

"You don't have to say-"

"I love you."

He cut you off by saying the full thing, knowing he was more certain of that one fact than anything else in his life. He loved you.

You smiled, "I love you too."

He breathed a sigh of relief, worried you wouldn't say it back even though he knew you felt that way. His grip on you tightened, and he buried his face in your hair.

"What can I do to help?" He asked softly. "I don't want you feeling like this."

"You already help enough," you ran your hand through his hair, enjoying the feeling. "But if you insist, you can kiss me."

He let out a laugh when you said that, your teasing tone managing to pull that sound that you loved from him. He rarely laughed like this, but he was so happy you loved him, he was so happy your fainting wasn't because of any terminal illness that would take you away from him, that he couldn't stop himself.

Then he leaned in and kissed you, just like you asked.

Bonus:

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"GET HER BACK TO THE SHIP NOW!"

Right. You forgot to tell the rest of the crew. Now Nami was screaming at the boys, Luffy was yelling at everyone to take you back to the ship, and Usopp was crying. Sanji was attempting to carry you, only to be swatted away by Zoro.

"It's okay, she's fine," he assured the others.

"Fine?!" Usopp protested.

"Are we seeing the same thing, mosshead?" Sanji glowered. "She's not fine!"

Zoro rolled his eyes, "Let me worry about my girlfriend, cook. You just worry about dinner."

You tried to speak, to stop everyone from fighting and screaming at each other, but you ended up hiding in Zoro's neck.

Explanations could come later.

[vroomvroomcircuit]

Drive all Night

(A/N): This is inspired by the song "Call your mom" by Noah Kahan.

Summary: Max is worried about the sudden shift in his best friends behavior. But he is willing to drive all night to get to the root of the problem.

Pairing: Max Verstappen x fem!reader (little childhood friends to lovers on the side with angst/hurt to comfort)

Warnings: Association to Max's shitty childhood, reader has depression/a depressive episode, implicit mentions of suicide, listen to the song and you get the vibe

Wordcount: 2.4k

🏎Masterlist🏎 ________________________

Max Verstappen is not a big worrier. Actually, he is no worrier at all.

When there is something to worry about, he just changes it. If he can’t change it, it’s out of his area of responsibility, so he doesn’t have to worry about it.

Thinking like that helped him focus through great challenges. But his mindset wasn’t the only motivator. Through all his highest highs and lowest lows, his best friend has been right next to him, either cheering him on or being the shoulder to cry on he just needed.

(Y/N) and him befriended each other in kindergarten, having felt this unexplainable pull to each other. Ever since playing with Legos together for the first time they had been inseparable if they could help it.

Of course, as they got older and Max’s career in karting took off and (Y/N) had to focus more on school, they started to shift to calling and texting more than relying on in person talking. But that didn’t stop them staying best friends. One might even argue that through their 24/7 updates to each other, they grew even closer.

Meeting in person in their adulthood had become increasingly easier. Sometime (Y/N) travels with Max to several races back to back, being blessed with a remote working job.

The young man starts to suspect something isn’t going smoothly during one of their daily face time calls with her being in her dark bedroom and him in a hotel room halfway across the world. “But enough of how annoying these marketing things are. What did you do today? Except for work of course.” Max just finished another yapping season about the last challenge the social media teams had him participate in.

(Y/N) just shrugs her shoulders while focusing on a loose thread in her shirt. “Nothing much. I reread pride and prejudice.” Max halts a bit in his rummaging through his suitcase, being on the look out for his charger. “I thought you had plans for lunch with a friend? And didn’t you read through that book last week already? You do know that no matter how often you read it, the ending will stay the same.” He jokes a bit.

While still not shifting her gaze towards the phone screen, (Y/N) answers in mumbles. “I canceled on her. I really felt icky today, but we will try to set up another meet up some time next week or so.”

At first Max doesn’t think of it as much. Everyone feels not like socializing every one in a while. But then something else changes. The frequency of their calls and texts.

“...here we can do- Max? Are you even listening to me?” Max gets caught off guard by that question. GP was going over some points with him before starting FP2. “Oh, uhm, sorry GP. Gimme three seconds, I just want to reply to (Y/N). It seems like she didn’t have a great day and I just want to make sure she’ll be alright until I’m out of the car.”

This makes his race engineer raise his eyebrows. “Oh, what happened?” “I don’t know. But she is rewatching one of her comfort shows for the third time in two weeks.” He blinks at the Dutchman. “And in what way is that concerning?”

Okay, voicing his worrisome thoughts out loud like that makes Max realize that the signs are not too obvious for outsiders. But he is talking about his best friend. The person that always makes sure that he won’t go without his needed amount of sleep. The same person he had been having phone calls that resulted in four out of the last seven nights with him getting not more than 5 hours of sleep, if that at all.

For an outsider it doesn’t seem bad for (Y/N) to reread the same books and rewatch the same shows over and over again. Or having her best friend, the person she became emotionally most dependent on, talk with her through her nights.

But for Max, it raises red flags. It hits his alarm bells, ringing out loud that something is majorly wrong. He can’t put his finger on it, not just yet. He is still looking for a way to get her to tell him what is bothering her.

There is a certain uneasiness to Max during that entire race weekend. He is just itching to seat his ass on a plane on his way back to his (Y/N), a friend that he might harbor more than just platonic feelings for. A person that had his back all the time.

To the person he loves the most, that is also struggling the most right now.

He wants to be able to pay her back for all the times she stuck through his darkest times.

But something in him is scared that he isn’t able to get to her in time. “Didn’t you want to go out with a colleague of yours for drinks last night?” Max asks into the phone while speed walking through the airport. Ever since leaving his hotel room on this fine Monday morning, he has been on a phone call with (Y/N).

A sigh greets his ears. “I wanted to, but I didn’t feel like dressing up or sharing a space with a bunch of strangers. I just ordered some food in and watched your race.”

There is another red flag. (Y/N) maybe was never a big socializer to begin with, but she liked going out every now and then. But for a couple of weeks now the only thing Max gets to hear about plans is that she canceled them.

Listening to her just cutting contact with the outside world like that, it doesn’t only worry him. It’s not even scary. It terrifies him.

The two of them continue talking the whole plane ride until (Y/N) falls asleep. Even then Max doesn’t hang up. He still lets the call continue, not wanting her to wake up and feel alone. She doesn’t deserve to feel alone.

No one does. But especially not her.

When he was in karting, some kids gave him grief for winning most of the time. It was difficult for little Max to understand. So do people not want him to win?

It became more confusing to him since some people around him wanted him to win desperately. It hurt him, not understanding the difference of who wanted his best and who wanted to see him fail.

He felt isolated from his peers, especially those who should understand under what pressure he was, because they must feel the same. Right?

During these days, where he rather stopped driving in circles in a very fast manner and just continued playing football, (Y/N) was his only footing. She talked him out of ending his career in motorsport. She painted a picture of his future in the prettiest colors with her words. She gave him something to look forward during these trying times.

And when it got harder before it got easier, she held his hand and reminded him that she will always stay by his side.

Now it’s Max’s turn to show her that he will always stay by her side.

He opens the door to her apartment slowly, trying to make the least noise possible.

Every room is shrouded in what must feel to her like a never ending darkness. The blinds are drawn in front of every window, hindering the tiniest bit of sunlight to filter through. Even to Max it feels like the despair that is in the air will never stop. It is all consuming.

He tiptoes towards her bedroom. There she lays, illuminated by the low light of his phone screen. Curled up tight under a bunch of blankets and between a mountain of pillows and stuffed animals.

The MV lion, the first one that has ever been produced, the original prototype before giving the go for mass production, is held tightly and close to her chest. It pulls on his heartstrings, seeing the comfort it must have brought her while he was absent.

Max kneels down at the head of the bed, gently shaking her awake. “Schatje, come on. Wake up. We got a day of new adventures just in front of us outside the door.”

It’s something they started to say in elementary school. They once read a book in class with the premise that every day is the start to a new adventure. You just have to welcome it in. Back then, when inviting something unknown in your life was considered exciting, not scary or life changing.

“The adventures can wait a day longer.” She mumbles and turns around, trying to shake his hand on her shoulder off. But Max is having none of it.

“The darkness is fooling you. Every light that has been turned off can be turned on.” He gets up and opens the blinds. Sunlight floods the room, and even at the messiest state the young man has seen his best friend, she still is the most beautiful woman on earth to him

(Y/N) lets out a noise of unpleasantness. “Please Max, I can’t deal with it today.”  “No, you will. We are going to deal with it, whatever this it is, together.” He marches over to her dresser and produces a clean set of clothes out of thin air. That is what it looks like to her in this mess at least.

“You are going to shower. After that we will take a drive with no destination.” His words are final and in a tone that makes the young woman drag her limbs and body out of the bed and trudge towards the bathroom, even when the unwillingness is evident by her groaning.

Hearing the shower is Max’s cue to sit down and take a deep breath. He doesn’t know what he expected, but seeing the light of life missing in (Y/N)’s eyes isn’t on that list. It feels like a punch to his gut, witnessing her wither away without knowing from what.

It doesn’t take long and they both sit in the car. A drive without destination is exactly what it says. Just Max driving with (Y/N) sitting in the passenger seat. Usually they used these trips to catch up, to talk about everything and nothing. To voice big philosophical thoughts and dumb brain farts. They started this tradition, that usually includes some sort of fast food, when Max got his drivers license.

But sitting in complete silence for five minutes straight. That is something new.

“You know,” Max breaks it after another seven minutes. “Not talking about it won’t make the problem go away. It also doesn’t hinder it in its existence. Instead it will just get heavier and heavier until you break under the weight.” His dry tone isn’t something she anticipated.

(Y/N) looks out the window, seeing the colorful sunset for the first time in weeks. It’s easy to forget the beauty of the world when your inside thoughts feel like a graveyard. “I don’t want to worry you.”

That admission nearly has the Dutchman emergency breaking in the middle of a street through the fields. “So you play cat and mouse with your feelings because you don’t want to worry me?” (Y/N) nods.

Max lets out a laugh. “So what exactly makes you think that me witnessing you just becoming a shell of who you once were won’t worry me?”

She shrugs. (Y/N) didn’t expect him to catch that something feels wrong in her.

“Schatje. I will always worry about you, You are too important to me to not worry about you. Seeing you wither away in yourself, it made me scared going out on these tracks, sitting down in the car, and wondering if you still breathe while I’m driving another mile. Not knowing what you feel, that worries me more than the truth. Because then we can work on getting you better together. But when you don’t let me in, I can’t help and feel like by just standing and witnessing without intervening that I’m at fault for anything that happens to you. It hurts more seeing you hurting than knowing what you hurt from.”

She turns towards Max, mustering his side profile. She hasn’t thought about how her actions are perceived by her surroundings. (Y/N) just fell into that hole of darkness unexpectedly. While sitting at the bottom of that somber pit, she thought that trying to reach out for help would mean another person gets pulled into it.

If there was one person she doesn’t want sitting next to her in that dark hole, then it is Max. She harbors too much love and affection for him to want him to suffer the same fate as her. So not talking about her darkest thoughts seemed like the best way of keeping him far away from the hole.

But it just drew him in closer.

(Y/N) finally sees what he saw the whole time.

“You know, it’s hard to explain what happened. It takes time to really understand what goes on in me right now.” Max puts a reassuring hand on her leg. “We have all night to talk about it. Help me help you. Let us find a strategy to get you better. May it be medication, meditation, punching me or falling in love with someone. I need you to find a reason to stay with me, physically and mentally.”

She puts a hand over hers and looks Max in the eye for the first time since he arrived. “I already fell in love.”

He doesn’t need to hear more.

Max keeps his promise. He drives through the night, holding (Y/N) to the best of his ability while she cries, curses and explains.

By that not everything is picture perfect again. But it’s the first step. The first one to a future they both want to share with each other. For now and ever, that is enough motivation for (Y/N) to keep going, to continue turning every light on that was off.

[arazialotis]

Get Him to the Con - Part 10

Pairing: Jensen × Reader

Word Count: About 6520

Story Summary: The reader stumbles into Jensen at her favorite bar, a very drunk Jensen. She soon realizes Jensen was booked for a con this weekend and has to be eight hours from town in only two.

Chapter Summary: Y/n visits Vancouver to see Jensen and, more importantly, to try to win Jared over.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Warnings: Always language. Grumpy Jared. After dinner, well, it gets NSFW 🌶️🌶️, 18+ Only

Although this is an RPF, these are fabricated characters and should not reflect back IRL. I intend no hate or ill wishes to him or his family. This is purely just for writing and wasting my time as a coping skill. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors. I appreciate any feedback or suggestions!

----

The black Escalade wove through the Vancouver traffic, the sun beating down, melting the piles of slushy remnants from the first snow. What should have been an eagerly anticipated moment for your arrival was tense. Behind the wheel, Jensen was trying to be the bridge between you and his best friend.

“Lighten up, man. Y/n’s really excited to be out here again and wants nothing more than to hang out and cook us a nice meal.” Jensen pleaded your case.

He, in fact, suggested pizza on the risk of jetlag, but you had insisted, falling back onto the age-old idiom ‘the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.’ You already had one of their hearts, and you were convinced you could make Jared warm up to you, too, if only he saw you as who you were and not as a clingy fangirl. Yet you felt that rift growing every time you saw him. And the last thing you wanted was for Jensen to be caught in the middle.

“Would you try to like her? For me? Please.” Jensen nearly begged when Jared didn’t respond.

At least he was in the car, though Jensen didn’t give him a choice, with this outing as a pretense of drinks after work.

Jensen tried one more time, fed up with Jared’s stubbornness. “At least act nice.”

That got his attention. “Act nice? I’ll play nice if she does.” The accusation hanging heaving.

Jensen furrowed his brow. “Y/n doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.” Okay, you had a bit of a temper, were known to hold a grudge, and had a smart mouth, but Jared didn’t need to know that.

Jared scoffed. “Last time she came out, she literally laughed and criticized me for overacting.”

Jensen’s confusion grew, trying to remember the last time you came out. Then, the realization hit him as the three of you watched the latest episode together in another futile attempt for Jensen to foster peace.

Despite the animosity, Jensen couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, she laughed at a scene and apologized immediately, saying it was hard to take the show seriously now that she knows us. And I said that wasn’t it; it’s probably because you took your acting lessons from Bruce Campbell." His tongue peeked out between his teeth as he attempted and failed to control another giggle, still quite proud of the slight.

“It was a serious scene. I was acting my heart out.” Jared stressed. “You had just gotten back from hell.”

Jensen lost the smile. “In her defense, it does lose its impactfulness after the 17th time.”

“Whatever, man.” Jared pouted, looking out the window.

Jensen rolled his eyes and prayed to any god that would listen. “Would it make you feel better if we watch Devour together after dinner? Then we’ll just laugh at me.”

Jared said nothing, not taking the bait. The clicking of the blinker filled the silence as Jensen waited to turn toward the arrival gates. Jared ran his fingers through his hair as Jensen pursed his lips together, trying to think of something, anything. The light turned green.

“I don’t even know why I am here. Y/n has, like, what, two full days out here? You should be spending it together without having to worry about me third-wheeling. I’m sure there are other things that you would prefer to occupy time you don’t get over Zoom.” Jared rambled out loud.

Jensen’s eyes tightly blinked shut momentarily as he began seeking out an open spot at the curb. Jared was right, of course, only on account of his last thought, but he wouldn’t be at peace until he had the blessing of his best friend. Jensen inhaled through his nose, held his breath, and released through his mouth.

“It is important to me that you and Y/n find some common ground. If you gave her even the slightest chance, I’m positive you would start to like her.” He said calmly as he put the car into park.

“Why does it matter so much to you if I like her?” Jared pushed. To him, you were still only a rebound after Elena.

And then it hit him. Maybe Jared’s denial of his true fear of being replaced had come true.

“Because she’s my best friend and I love her!” He declared and then laughed through the shock.

It was the first time he had admitted it out loud. The silence was palpable as both men processed the weight of the words. Jensen wasn’t one to open up lightly. He felt deeply, but he was always careful with those emotions, cautious even. It had taken nearly two years before he said the same to Elena. Another before they started looking at rings. Maybe because it was one of the first serious relationships he had since the start of his career. The depth and commitment he had felt with her made the falling out that much more disastrous. He had fortified his walls to be higher and more impenetrable. Then you came out of nowhere and shattered everything he thought he knew about himself. He felt like a caged bird learning for the first time how to spread its wings, to feel the breeze on its face, and the warmth of the sun. With you, he felt free.

Jared’s eyes darted back and forth as if reading his thoughts, finding the right response. Jensen squeezed the steering wheel and nodded his head. “I love her.” He said again, the realization hitting him, fully knowing it was true. But then the terror of the statement hit him. The car door shuttered open, and the catapult of a backpack rolling over the seatbench crashing at the other end pulled Jared from his thoughts as you entered the car.

“Hiya!” You squeaked.

You pulled the door close with a thud and clicked on your seatbelt. You cleared your throat, looking up, momentarily afraid you jumped in the wrong car. But it was Jensen and Jared, alright. Jensen stared directly ahead, his face as white as if seeing a ghost. Jared scrutinized his friend. You sank back in your seat. You had thrown yourself directly into something.

Jared turned in his seat, blinking rapidly and addressing you in the most amiable tone he had ever taken with you. “Hi Y/n. Um, would you mind giving us a minute?”

Oh, you had definitely walked into something. It took you a minute to process this, but then you began fumbling with the seatbelt, “Yeah. Yeah. Of course.” And vacated the Escalade as fast as possible.

Jared’s brow furrowed, and he leaned closer to a whisper as you aimlessly knocked your fists together outside on the sidewalk. “You love her?”

He chuckled again and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I really do.”

Jared knew he should be happy for Jensen, knew they should be celebrating this, offering congratulations, but all he felt was dread.

“Have you told her?” Jared asked.

“Nah, you’re the first to know.” Jensen clapped Jared on the shoulder. “I want the moment to be right, you know. I want to be able to remember it for a long time.”

Jared thought about faking it, but he had to be real with Jensen. “You don’t know her.”

That set him off. “Why are you so set against her? Why can’t you be happy for me? I do know her. I’ve known her for seven months, been dating her for 4 of those, and talk to her almost daily.” His voice went up an octave higher. “I don’t know why I have to keep justifying my choices to you, man? When will it ever be good enough for you?”

Jared didn’t take the bait. “But you don’t know her. How can you truly? You haven’t met her friends or her family, and it sounds like her mom is a real piece of work. Are you ready to deal with that?”

Outside the car, airport security approached you. Both boys could tell from your over-exaggerated gestures that you were attempting to buy them more time.

Jared continued. “And no offense, but she isn’t spotlight material.”

“Fuck you.” Jensen's blood boiled over. He was about to leave the car to find another way to get back into the city. At that moment, he never wanted to see Jared again.

“Come on. Give me a break. You know I didn’t mean it like that.” Though he kind of did. “All I’m saying is that if you truly are that committed to her, that this isn’t some fling, you should think about preparing her for the kind of attention it will warrant. The good, the bad, and the ugly. That kind of stress and attention can ruin a person.”

Jensen didn’t respond but wrung his hands on the steering wheel. There was a knock on the window.

“Please, know I’m just trying to look out for you,” Jared whispered as he began rolling down the window.

“Nobody asked you to.” Jensen snipped back before the security guard started to chew them out.

As the boys were on the receiving end of a very stern lecture, you slipped as quietly as possible into the back seat to avoid further angering or endangering yourself with security. Yes, spending a night in jail was on your bucket list, but this is not what you had in mind.

“Sorry, officer,” Jensen ended a profuse apology before hightailing it out of there.

You weren’t sure exactly what you missed, but the air hung thick with tension. Nobody spoke. There was only the hum of tires on the road. It hit you that Jensen never even acknowledged you. You fiddled with a loose stitch on the seat in front of you.

After five minutes and starting to get out of airport traffic, you couldn’t handle it anymore. “So…” You drew the word out, unsure how to break into a conversation.

Jensen blinked, realizing you had no reason to be as upset as him and that it was unfair to suffer from their drama, especially when you were not privy to it.

He cleared his throat. “I got the groceries you requested delivered.” However, he didn’t know how the three of you would sit through a dinner together.

“Oh, good! I’m starving. Airport food never really hits the spot, but the Cajun snack mix does kinda slap.” You rambled, trying for anything to get them talking.

They both hmmed in response. You were about to ask them about their favorite airport snack, but thank the gods, it was Jared who surprisingly saved you.

“What’s for dinner then?” He was trying. He had fucked up. He knew it. This was how he could try to make amends with Jensen.

You beamed, having perfectly planned it out, trying to finally win Jared over to your side. “We’ll start with a strawberry, basil, and balsamic whipped burrata and roasted bone marrow. Then, a small lemon watercress-radicchio salad for a palate cleanser before moving on to a butter-basted ribeye accompanied by potatoes au gratin and crispy brussel sprouts with mustard seeds and pomegranate.”

Jared’s stomach rumbled. Goddammit, that sounded good.

“And, I was considering a dessert, but Jensen said I already had enough going on, and because baking isn’t my strong suit, I let him handle the rest.” You explained. “You did handle the rest, didn’t you?”

Jensen's anger melted a little. With a smirk, he said, “Yeah, a tub of vanilla ice cream.”

Your heart dropped. “Stop.” There was a glint of teasing in his eyes as he looked at you through the rearview mirror, but the rest of his face remained deadpan. You couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. “Okay, I guess I could repropose what I had in mind for the burrata, and if you have sugar on hand and something salty and crunchy, we could do a quick brittle. Oooh, maybe the cajun snack mix. Or perhaps…”

“Y/n! I’m messing with you. I have an assortment ordered from Thomas Haas.” He winked at you in the mirror.

Thomas Haas meant little to you, but anything would be better than a tub of ice cream. Okay, a tub of ice cream had its time and place, but not when you were working so hard to impress Jared. Still, you eyed Jensen skeptically, unsure if it would measure up.

“Some of the best in Vancouver,” Jared assured. “I’m sure it will compliment your dinner perfectly. I can’t wait. It all sounds very delicious.”

“Hmm.” You looked between the two of them.

There were still too many questions unanswered. What were they talking about before you arrived? Could you trust either of them to select a quality dessert or would you have to resort to brittle anyways? Were you now on a no-fly list due to the tiff with the security guard? When could you get Jensen alone (this stern look painted on his face was doing things you couldn’t control)? But most importantly, why was Jared acting so nice?

“I’ve had bone marrow before, but only in restaurants,” Jared continued. “I didn’t realize it could be done at home.”

“Oh yeah, it’s actually super simple if you can find a good butcher.” You explained.

Jensen interjected. “Don’t let her fool you. She’s been binging The Bear, and now her only goal is to become an Iron Chef.”

You smirked, impressed he even knew what an Iron Chef was. Aside from eating food, anything kitchen-related was the furthest on his interest list. You were rubbing off on him.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “It’s the easiest cheat code appetizer if you want to impress someone. You toast some bread, toss the marrow in the oven for twenty minutes, and add a few accouterments to a serving board. And bam, done.”

Jared laughed, actually laughed. “I’m sure you are underselling yourself. From what Jensen has told me, you are an excellent cook. I can’t wait to see it all come together.”

Jensen glared at Jared out of the side of his eye, the anger resurfacing. He was laying it on thick. Too thick.

You squinted, eyes darting back and forth between them. This wasn’t going to plan. You were supposed to cook the food and then become BFFs with Jared. This was happening too quickly. But perhaps you should take it for what it was. Maybe you had stuck around long enough for him to finally accept you. Or Jensen had talked you up enough. Whatever the reason, you had to stop ruminating on it. All you had to do was get through dinner. Perhaps after, you could corner Jensen into an explanation.

It wasn’t long until you pulled into the parking garage adjoined to the condos. Jensen popped the trunk, surprised to find it empty.

“Where’s your luggage?” He asked, oblivious as his conversation with Jared required most of his mental capacity.

You held up your backpack as a response, and his brow furrowed with confusion.

“What’s wrong? Are you ill?” He pestered, placing the back of his hand against your forehead.

“Shut up.” You snipped and then explained. “I’m practicing becoming a lighter packer.” You lowered your voice to a whisper. “Besides, I recall not needing much clothing last visit.”

Jensen raised his eyebrows, reminiscing, and then nuzzled his nose into your neck in anticipation of this weekend. Jared, having overheard, rolled his eyes and fought a gag. You laughed as Jensen pulled away, his eyelashes tickling your cheeks. And Jared plastered on his fake smile yet again.

“Let’s get upstairs,” He said. “I’m starving.”

-----

Dinner was coming along nicely. You were basting the last of the steaks in butter, and the boys were watching the end of a game in the living room. The thoroughly cleaned plates on the coffee table were the only lingering evidence that there had been appetizers. You snuck a bit here and there, but it was mostly to keep the two of them from sniffing around the kitchen.

With a final splash of liquid, the steak was done—perfect caramelization and crust. Now, the potatoes. You checked the timer—ten minutes, enough time for the steak to rest. And the Brussels? Shit. You scooped the last of them out of the oil in the nick of time. You generously salted them and would add the pomegranate molasses after plating. Satisfied with how it was all wrapping up, you whipped Jensen’s once pristinely white dish towel over your shoulder. There was a shuffling behind you as you began cleaning what you could.

“Need any help?” Jensen asked.

You were about to shoo him out when you heard the scrape of a knife. You snapped your head around to catch him red-handed. He stared at you like a deer in the headlights, the end of one steak pinched between his fingers and the knife hovering millimeters above. You scowled, and Jensen slowly set the knife down, held his hands in surrender, and backed up.

Your scowl melted into a smile. “A couple of minutes longer. If you’d like to help, you can set the table.”

He straightened. “Yes, chef.”

You playfully stuck out your tongue and whipped the dish towel in his direction, earning an exaggerated yelp.

Finally, after a few minutes passed, you brought the final plate to the table and scooched in. Jensen didn’t hesitate and dove in.

With a full mouth, he mumbled, “If this tastes as good as it…” Then it hit him, and his eyes rolled back in pure delight. “Oh god.”

Jared went in a little slower, cutting his steak and bringing it past his lips. He took several testing bites and paused, glaring at you. He was actually glaring at you. Dropping the act, he’d kept up all night, pissed at how good it tasted. He knew what tonight had been about. About you trying to butter him up, quite literally with butter braised steak. And god dammit. It was a good steak. And he was mad about it.

“Fuck.” Jared cursed aloud, snapping your and Jensen’s attention to him. “Fuck, that’s good.”

You smiled sheepishly, looking down at your plate. “I can’t say I’ve had that reaction before. Not quite as orgasmic as I was hoping for, maybe if I adjusted the…” Your face went pale, realizing the last part was out loud.

Jensen snorted, and Jared even cracked a smirk.

“So, um,” You attempted a recovery. “How was work this week?”

A few minutes of silence passed as Jensen gave Jared a chance to answer. When he didn't and caught him glaring again, Jensen kicked his shin under the table, prompting him further.

Jared grunted. “Well, hours weren't as shitty as usual.”

“Cause Collins hasn't been around.” Jensen teasingly interjected.

Jared chuckled. “Yeah, not as many retakes. Finally, it feels like we're making some progress this season.”

You nodded. The three of you looked back and forth, trying to gauge whether it was appropriate to continue the conversation or return to eating.

“What about you?” Jared coughed before going in for another bite.

“Same old.” You simply stated.

Silverware scraped against plates. A clock ticked in the living room. The sounds of the city rose from the streets. You dabbed the corner of your mouth with the black cloth napkin, then considered it. You’d be willing to bet good money this was the first time Jensen ever pulled them out.

Jensen tried again to spark the conversation again. “Should we talk Vegas?”

Your eyes lit up excitedly, ready to discuss a plan and details.

“So, about that,” Jared started. Jensen didn’t hide his scowl, but Jared's eyes widened, challenging him. “It’s not often we get that kind of time off work, and I’m going to meet Gen in Austin.”

Ah, so dinner wasn’t the wondrous miracle you hoped it would be. You cursed yourself for not trying a Wellington. Jensen reached under the table to graze your thigh, trying to communicate that this had nothing to do with you.

“Why doesn’t she join us?” Jensen shrewdly offered.

Jared’s lips formed a thin line before countering. “Actually, we are going to use the time to do some house hunting.” He hesitated for a minute. “We’ve started talking about, um, the next steps in starting our family.”

Kids? Oh god, Jensen was going to be an uncle. He was already an uncle to Harper’s clan, but this was Jared. All the tension momentarily evaporated as you both offered your excitement and congratulations.

“Yeah, our current setup isn’t going to cut it. We need more space, a yard.” Jared explained. “Y/n, are you interested in kids?”

Jensen choked on the last piece of steak, recovering with a swig of wine. The temporary peace was broken yet again.

“Oh, um.” You stammered, trying to think of a response. Every couple (that was serious, that is) had to come across this question. You just didn’t picture you were there yet with Jensen. And you didn’t picture the conversation would come about this way. “Well, I’ve recently only managed to keep a house plant alive, so maybe the next step is like a cat or something before moving onto a…” You gulped. “A child.”

“Hmm. So you haven’t given it much thought?” He clarified.

“I mean,” Heat was rising to your cheeks. “It might not be my first choice, looking after a little drooling, monstrous carbon copy. Don’t get me wrong, I love being Aunt Y/n to my niece but one of my own. It’s a lot of responsibility and sacrifice and time and money… I don’t know. There’s a lot of benefits, too, I’m sure. You and Gen will be fantastic parents!”

“Interesting.” Jared ignored your last comment. “Wasn’t it in Colorado that you said you’d have Jensen’s babies? Or maybe that’s changed after you got to know him more.” He chuckled a bit, trying to conceal it as a joke.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Jensen attempted to shut this down.

“No, I never actually said that.” You talked over him and defended yourself. “Casey, a fan, although more than well-meaning, took several liberties that day. A decision that big should require careful consideration rather than something silly like initial attraction or blind devotion, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Absolutely,” he responded sincerely. “Such as your partner’s thoughts on the issue. Gen and I knew immediately that growing our family was an intention for our relationship. Jensen, you’ve always wanted kids, haven’t you?”

If looks could kill, Jared would currently be en route to the nearest morgue. But then he caught a glance at your wide, curious eyes awaiting an answer. There’s no way he would lie about this. Yet, this was the first time the subject of the long-term future had been broached. He swallowed the lump in his throat with another dose of wine, then threw his napkin on his plate.

“I have always seen my future with one or two kiddos running around.” He spoke softly and slowly. “But if my partner wasn’t on board, there’s no way I’d force that upon them. The two of us would always come first.”

Jared raised his eyebrows and nodded, staying silent as he finished his last bite.

You filled the silence instead, unable to handle the pause in conversation. “Similarly, I would never want to deny my future partner if that was something that was really important to them.”

Jensen closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. This wasn’t a relationship-ending kind of conversation. You did share common ground. And it was each other.

“That seems like a lot of sacrifice.” Jared circled back to the earlier point.

“But what is love?” You asked back.

Jensen whined a high-pitched melody under his breath, “Baby, don’t hurt me,” so over this conversation.

But Jared and you were beyond dialed in.

“You want to define that here, tonight?” Jared pushed. “Scholars, philosophers, religions; they’ve been trying to do that since the dawn of humanity.”

“Many of which have brought it back to sacrifice.”

“And many of which have used that ideal to perpetuate cycles of horrendous abuse.”

You pushed your plate aside, needing the space to talk with your hands. “I’m not denying that. But if you are talking on an individual level about two people in love outside of an institution, there are many components, but sacrifice is usually one of them.”

“So you’re arguing you shouldn’t be happy for the sake of the other person?”

“I’m arguing,” You strained. “Both people in the relationship sacrifice for each other, and not only are they happy to do so, but it is a privilege. You lift each other up and balance the other, and there is a net gain rather than elevating one over the other, becoming nothing more than a mere doormat. Trust me, I’ve been around enough narcissists to understand that never ends well.”

“So that’s your conclusion: love is sacrifice?” Jared asked.

Was he trying to trap you? “Like I said, it’s a component. But at the end of the day, I’d say love is a choice. There’s those initial feelings of lust and excitement and newness that will eventually fade away. And you’ll get on each other’s nerves, and there’ll be tears and fighting, and hell, we all get old, and gravity always wins. There’ll be moments where you have to choose. In fact, there’ll probably be moments where you choose not to. At the end of the day, I’d like to end up with someone who is my best friend above all else because you’ll have that to fall back on when it's hard to love.”

Jared didn’t say it contradictory but as a compliment to your point. “Friendship is its own kind of love.” He looked to Jensen apologetically.

“Very true.” You agreed. “What do you think, Jensen?”

Jensen sighed and shook his head. He stood up to start clearing the table. “It’s a mystery. Sometimes love is just love.”

You began stacking the dishes, bringing them to the kitchen as well. “It defies explanation, logic even.” You added.

Jared grabbed the bottle of wine, refilled glasses, and brought the fresh pour to you. “And definition. It’s the ultimate expression of humanity, isn’t it? To wrestle with complex concepts.”

You chuckled, taking a sip. “I guess that’s based on how you define humanity.”

Jared leaned against the counter. “Well…”

Jensen snapped up from putting plates in the dishwasher. “How about a movie?”

Jared lost his train of thought. “I have kind of been in the mood for The Matrix.”

You beamed. Perhaps this disaster of a night wasn’t ruined after all. It would be the perfect opportunity to bring up simulation theory with Jared. From what Jensen told you, Jared loved debating and theorizing over abstract topics. It would be the perfect foot in. Maybe you could impress him after all.

Jensen caught the mischievous look in your eye. He shook his head. “Don’t…”

But you beat him to it. “That sounds perfect!”

---

Later that night, hours after discussing perceived reality, you hovered over the kitchen sink, scrubbing down the remaining mess. Jared was long gone but thanked you for a pleasant evening. Jensen came up behind you, stripped down to his undershirt and briefs. He pulled your waist to his, wrapping his grasp around your hips, and nuzzled closer.

“Come to bed.” He whispered into your neck.

You half-moaned, leaning into his touch. “I just have a few more.”

“That’s what the dishwasher is for.” He said.

You paused and stiffened. “And ruin the finish on this cast iron? You monster.” Jensen gave a light chuckle before closing his eyes against your skin as you continued. “How do you think tonight went?”

He sighed, chewing it over.

“I know.” You agreed. “I should have done the Wellington.” That earned you a pinch to the side. You yelped. “Not when I’m washing the knives!”

“Honestly,” Jensen started. “I don’t know what to think.”

You took a deep gulp and turned off the faucet before turning to face him. You searched his eyes and ran your pruned thumb against his cheek.

“I don’t want to come between you two.” You strained.

He took your hand and his and glided your knuckles across his lips.

“You’re not.” He whispered.

Your glare pierced him.

Jensen continued. “He’s coming around, albeit slowly.” He added as your gaze held, “I promise.”

Your breath released, and the tension left your body, too tired to challenge him further.

“Come on, off to bed.” He instructed.

But you turned around and yawned, “Only a few more.”

Suddenly, you were swooped up and being carried away from the kitchen. “The rest can wait.”

You hit the mattress, immediately sinking into the plush duvet and feathered pillows. Jensen followed, his warmth and weight wrapping around you. The day's weight full of travel, cooking, cleaning, debating, and worrying all hit you instantly. You closed your eyes, darkness quickly closing in. Yet you couldn’t ignore the lips peppering slow, soft kisses at the edge of your navel.

“Mmmm. Jensen, I’m tired.” You moaned over the response your body had to his touch. His fingers danced along the hem of your shirt, trailing higher. Between kisses, he breathed. “You won’t have to do a thing.”

You popped an eye open and raised an eyebrow, looking down at him through the darkness. The city lights illuminated his features. There was a feral glow in his eyes, waiting for that sweet, sweet permission he longed to hear.

“Are you proposing to use me?” You questioned, rubbing your thighs tighter, seeking pressure to alleviate the quickly growing need.

And he knew it, too. A smirk that would impress even the devil crossed his lips. “That depends,” He brought his hand from your ribs, prying your thighs apart, and you whined in response. “Would you like to be used?”

You nodded even though you could barely keep your eyes open, “Very much.”

He made quick work of your clothing, your lazy attempts to help only impeding the process. The cold air of the condo brushed over your skin, providing temporary alertness as your hair rose and you shivered in response. His hands roamed over you, chasing away the chill, replacing the sharpness with tenderness.

Even as you wrestled sleep from taking you, eyes fluttering close, you could feel his eyes on you. From day one, he made it his mission to study you; taking note of every sharp inhale, every squirm, every crease of the brow. He had been a quick and eager student. His hand gently encouraged your legs apart, his hand roving over your core, parting your very soul as he found his mark. Satisfied, his eyes closed, and his head rested against your chest as he let instinct take over.

Dancing on the edge of sleep yet pulled to the waking world by pleasure, your brain couldn’t comprehend thoughts. The worries of the day, the countless insecurities, the what-ifs, they all melted from your mind. The only thing you knew was touch. It was the only constant. The concept of time faded, and at some point unbeknownst to you, fingers had been replaced with lips.

Incoherent words praised his practiced tongue as thoughts attempted and failed to form meaning. Your hand wound through his hair, gripping to hold him in place as you rocked your hips forward. His arms hooked under your legs, lifting you higher, spreading you farther as he lost his need for air. His only purpose in consuming you.

“Jensen.” You mewled his name as a curse. “Please. God, please.”

Teeth scraped against soft flesh, sending you soaring off that endless cliff. You cried out, a slew of fractured speech. Jensen idly continued as you floated back down to reality. Only as breath returned, hungry for air, did he stop, attempting to catch some himself.

“Turn over,” He instructed through the shallow pants. “On your knees.”

You whined, rubbing your face with your palm. “You said I wouldn’t have to do anything.”

He nipped at your inner thigh. “Brat.”

You lazily smiled until he grabbed your sides and flipped you over himself. That woke you up, but only momentarily as he shuffled behind you, allowing you a minute to bury your head deeper into the pillow.

“Oh, I don’t think so, sweetheart.”

An arm snaked under your diaphragm, and you lost your breath as he pulled you up to a kneel, pinning you against his bare, hard flesh. His hands roamed your curves, already mapped in his mind, desperate to bring to fruition what he had imaged during the month apart. A hand came to your throat, gently squeezing, as he tilted it to the side.

“Color?” He cooed into your ear.

You only moaned, too tired for words, grinding your hips back into him, hoping it would prompt this process further along.

“Use your words.” He softly demanded.

“Green.” You placed a hand over his, encouraging him to squeeze harder. “So fucking green.”

He buried his mouth into the crook of your neck, claiming you, possessing you, undoing you. But two could play this game. With your free hand, you reached behind you, immediately claiming your prize. You stroked up and down his length, stopping at the apex and rolling your grasp.

“Fuck.” He indulged temporarily before taking your hand, guiding it to the top of the headboard.

Your other hand followed suit as he gripped your hips. You arched your back and swayed side to side, inviting him in or, at the very least, enticing him to hurry.

“Patience has never been your strong suit.” He playfully scolded.

As he knocked your knee with his own, spreading you apart further and lower, he bent down, planting long, deliberate kisses on the small of your back. Your eyes fluttered close yet again, your mind at war with your body, demanding sleep. He neared your entrance, testing at first, then surged forward, completely filling you. You cried out, sparks turning to flame as he flooded you. Over and over, he built pace, seeking his own high.

It was unlike anything you had ever known. Nothing existed outside of this claiming rhythm, outside of this mounting heat, outside of this ecstasy. Your mind was blank. Your mind was numb. He was the only thing you had ever known—the only thing you were created for.

His hand gripped your shoulder, arching you deeper, pulling you more flush against his hardness, hitting the deepest parts of you. Your curses and praise garbled together, moans became mute, and blinding pressure rose, threatening to break.

“Come on, Y/n,” Jensen said through ragged pants. “Come for me, sweetheart.”

“Jensen.” You cried, tears spilling over. “I can’t, I’m so tired.”

His grip left your shoulder and joined yours on the headboard, intertwining his fingers with yours as he drove into you over and over and over.

“Yes, you can.” He encouraged. “Tell me where.”

He adjusted, giving you time to assess the effectiveness.

And then, suddenly, “Ah, right there. Fuck, don’t fucking stop.” You squeezed your eyes shut.

He did as he was told, gritting his teeth together, fingers digging into your flesh as he held on. He waited and waited until he felt you close in around him, constricting, demanding he fall off that cliff with you into the deep pool of bright light. Your hands slid from the headboard as you collapsed back onto the mattress. Jensen fell with you, his weight trapping you.

It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. But eventually, you found your way to the surface again, taking a deep, shuttering breath. Jensen rolled off you onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling, breathing in and out, in and out. Sweat outlined his sculpted frame as he ran a hand through his tousled hair. When his heart finally settled, his eyes found yours, and he pulled you close.

You were no longer aware if you were sleeping or awake, but still, you said. “I think it is safe to say we can move ‘exhausted sex’ from the maybe category to any fucking time or day.”

He laughed and kissed your forehead. “Thank you.”

You groaned. “Oh please, let’s not start that again.”

“Fair.” He agreed and thought of something else to say. “You’ve ruined me.”

“I’ve ruined you?” You corrected. “Sir. You’ve gone and rendered the entirety of the male species inconsequential.”

“Okay,” He challenged, rubbing his eyes. “You can’t be that tired if you can spin that heap of bullcrap.”

You burrowed into the crook of his arm and closed your eyes before mumbling, “It's not bullcrap. You’ve ruined me too.”

His eyes darted back and forth in the darkness, contemplating everything you had said about love and god, even children. He looked back at you. Your breath had slowed and evened out. And he knew his epiphany remained true. His love for you was beyond his initial attraction, curiosity, or, frankly, his blue balls. He’d give it all up if you asked, find some office job, become a cat dad. And then it hit him why, and he chuckled, saving that thought for another day because now sleep was threatening him too, and he might not be thinking rationally.

He kissed your hair and whispered, testing it out loud. “I love you.” A cold, electric shiver ran throughout his being.

He froze as you stirred. “Hmm?”

He chuckled. “What would you think about going public?”

You shot up, fully conscious. Fully alert. Your brow furrowed, trying to comprehend.

“Aren’t we already public? You did ask me out at a convention?”

He also sat up, rubbing his hands through his hair to stir further energy.

“Well, kind of. People know I’m dating, but only a select few know who.” He explained trying to assess your emotions at the same time. “We’ve done a pretty good job keeping a wrap on your identity.”

“Probably ‘cause your ballcap and sunglasses are such a convincing disguise, Clark Kent.” You teased.

“Smartass,” he grumbled. “Probably more likely because I have a good manager and an even better team right now who locked down and scrubbed your social media.” He waited for you and added, “If you don’t want to…”

“No, that’s not it.” You stopped him. “I… Can I think it over?”

“Of course. Take all the time you need; there’s no rush.” He assured.

“I’ll have to talk to some people beforehand. Friends, coworkers, family.” You gritted your teeth. “My mom, she… Well, she might make things difficult.”

“Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up so late. We can sleep on it and talk to the team tomorrow. They’ll answer any questions you have and maybe provide some guidance on the hard things.” He bent down to look into your eyes. “Okay?”

You nodded in response.

“Let’s get some rest, yeah?” He encouraged again and pulled you down against him.

But how the fuck were you supposed to sleep now? Your whole world could change overnight. And you weren’t sure you were ready for it.

---

TAGS:

Everything Jackles: @akshi8278

GHTTC: @maggiegirl17 @foxyjwls007 @djs8891 @deans-spinster-witch @tmb510 @ghostofjoharvelle @ellen-reincarnated1967 @deansgirl79 @chriszgirl92

(Always feel free to ask to be added or removed (I won't be offended))

[stusbunker]

Spotless: Dolce

Chapter Twenty One

Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/Bela

Word Count: 1787

Warnings, etc: Mutual pining, minor backstory, they're idiots your honor, unbeta'd

A/N: Thank you all for your patience. Apart from being sick, I second and third and quintuple guessed myself on this chapter and then thoroughly ignored the difficult parts and just let them have a conversation on their own. That's it, it's just a phone call. xoxo Stu

Forgive me @lastactiontricia <3

Series Masterlist

You stood in your kitchen staring at the food in the fridge. It wasn’t much, but you had options.You just hated them all at that moment. You closed the door and slogged over to the pantry. It was the Friday night after Dean’s birthday and you wanted nothing to do with your phone or work or anything social media related. 

So you had turned off your ringer and left it to charge. 

You grabbed a bag of microwave popcorn out of the box and ripped off the plastic wrap. It was a poor excuse for dinner, but it at least would tide you over while you decided what you actually wanted to eat. Then you poured yourself a glass of wine, a sweet white because you were not a snob about it. No matter how many trips to Napa people took you on, you really weren’t going to spend an arm and a leg on a bottle that you only half-heartedly appreciated.

Once it was ready, you took the puffed up bag of popcorn with you to the living room because what was the point of making another dish? And decidedly resorted to turning on the tv.

The thing about streaming shows is that even though your attention wavered, the consistency of the characters on the screen made you feel less alone. You got through six episodes before you realized you never made anything for dinner. And at that point, it was too late to start. You stomped around trying to remember where you left your phone only to find a missed call from Dean and a dozen random texts from other people.

You double checked you didn’t have any voicemails and scrolled down to order delivery. Once dinner was finally sorted, you poured yourself the last of the bottle of wine and called Dean back.

The phone rang in your ear as you sat in the corner of your couch, criss-cross applesauce while turning on the next episode on mute. He answered on the fourth ring.

“Trouble, hey!”

“You rang?” You took a sip. Wherever he was was loud, but you could hear him moving through the buzz of passing conversation and cutlery.

“Yeah, you got a minute?”

“The night is my oyster, what’s up?” You leaned forward and set your glass on the coffee table, stretching back and settling in for whatever fire you were going to have to put out next.

The sounds surrounding Dean ended abruptly and he exhaled. “Not much, just grabbing drinks with some people from the label with Bela. You know, schmoozing the uppity ups.”

“Oh— good luck with that.” You shifted onto one hip and hugged your knee. “Tell her she has to pick where we’re getting brunch because the place I wanted is closed for remodeling—- and that she’s paying.”

Dean huffed a laugh. “I’ll fucking cover it, okay? Anything else you need me to tell her? Cuz I could go back in there and just hand her the phone if you want—”

“Nope— no, sorry. It’s fine. You okay?” Something in his voice was setting off a proximity alarm in your head, not full blown panic mode, but enough to let you know something had appeared on the horizon. 

“Yeah, ‘m good. It’s just not my kind of thing—- Bela’s great at these things— I just stand there wishing I could be anywhere else.”

“I’m surprised you even showed up— especially with rehearsals starting Monday.” You grabbed your wine again, waiting Dean out.

“Gotta play nice— you said so,” Dean teased, you could hear the soft hum of his smugness before he shifted gears. “Listen— that whole thing with Cas and the birthday bus— and the whole day actually—”

“Are you really gonna start bitching about that now? Dean, it is so not the time— don’t you have someone’s ass to kiss?”

“What?! I’m not— would you let me finish?! Jesus. I was trying to thank you!--- Don’t know why, now, but yeah.”

You bit your lips and perked up, straightening your back and wagging your head a little back and forth. “Oh? By all means— continue.”

“Yeah, okay, smart ass.”

You cackled and let him stew a bit.

“It was seriously the best, okay? Like, top five of all time.” Dean switched ears and you tried not to squee with the idea of making him so happy he’d been thinking about it for days. That he had to call you to tell you— even as an excuse to escape a less than stellar social situation. Everything seemed to sparkle on your skin, but that could have been the Reisling. “And about dragging Cas out— that was an unexpected gift. So, yeah, thank you— for all your trouble.”

You groaned.

“Oh come on! That one wasn’t that bad.” Dean pretended to be affronted and you pretended to be annoyed.

“Sure.”

He sniggered. “It was good to see him. It’d been too damn long.”

“Seriously. We had lunch and just getting to hang out with him made everything better.”

“Yeah.” Dean was thinking and you let him.

The television was frozen on the prompt screen, judging you for still watching, but you ignored it. You finished your wine and looked at the last drops through the curved glass, distracted by the reflection of your empty living room.

“You think he’s doing alright? I mean— he’s got a freakin’ kid. That’s got to have been a total mindfuck— you know?”

Naturally, Dean was worried about how Cas was, not about harboring grudges or blaming him for the rift between them. At least not out loud.

“I cannot imagine— and luckily we don’t have to worry about anyone trying to pull that again.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. Fuckin’ Lisa, I almost forgot about that. That was like the first big thing you had to bury when you started.”

You sat up and climbed onto your knees, like getting taller would help make your point. “Oh, I know! God that was such an uphill battle, even when she pretended to play nice. I still get the heebie jeebies when I pass her yoga studio on the way to Charlie’s.”

Dean chuckled. “Man— the things we do for fame. We are paying you, right?”

“Last time I checked.”

“Okay, good, probably should be more though, especially with all the Bela stuff.”

“Dean— I make well over the industry standard percentage with you guys. Plus, you barely even charge me rent. I’m doing fine.”

“Whatever—- still, want you to know your hard work is appreciated.”

You settled back down and picked at the seam of your leggings. “That is the weirdest way you could have said thank you, I hope you know.”

“Fuck off— Thank you, okay? THANK YOU. Should I spell it out? Maybe say it in Spanish?”

“Claro.”

“Como se dice ‘bite me’, huh?”

“Muérdeme.”

“Uhhh—- yeah, not gonna try that one while I’m standing in an alley alone.”

You rolled your eyes. “You should probably go back inside. People are waiting on you.”

“They barely even looked up when I stepped away— Bela’d message me if it was a problem.”

“Deeeeeean.”

“Trouuubbbllllle,” the way his voice rumbled with your nickname made it hard to remember you were even wearing clothes.

You climbed off the couch and decided to put your glass in the dishwasher for something to do. He wasn’t going back into the restaurant, but he wasn’t exactly keeping you from anything either.

“Why’d you call if you were out anyway?”

“Heh— I called you to talk me into going through with it.”

Oops. “Well good job on getting there on your own.”

“I was already halfway to Bela’s anyway. Paps perked up real fast when we rolled up. Gonna have to switch out Baby for a rental one of these days. Don't like the way they hone in on her.”

You rolled your eyes. “Probably a good idea, especially if you need privacy.”

“Not really the point of this little arrangement is it?”

“Okay, but still, be safe.”

“With my car? Always.”

You smiled to yourself when there was a knock at your door.

“Somebody there?” You hadn’t realized he could hear it over the line.

“Just dinner.” You beelined through the living room, suddenly starving. You pinched your phone between your shoulder and your cheek as you unlocked the front door. 

“So, what? Just another night in for you? Lemme guess, messy bun and no bra, maybe some leggings?”

You made sure everything was in the bag where the driver left it and dragged it back to the kitchen for a plate. “Is this you asking me what I’m wearing?”

“Maybe.”

You stopped short, and had to lift the bag up onto the counter a second time to keep it from becoming one with the floor. “Ha, ha.”

“Come on, it’s not like I’m gonna do anything here. Just making conversation.”

You ground your teeth, anger spiking from this sudden turn into teasing. “Yeah, well, when it’s the closest thing to a come on I’ve had in months— it feels a little bit more than that.”

You feel the penny drop.

“Dry spell, huh? I was wondering about that.”

“Oh shut it. You’ve got a fairytale fake girlfriend and I’ve got a band to keep relevant, neither of us is really out there mingling.”

Dean cleared his throat. “You can take time off—- if you need, you know that right? Hell, find somebody’s discarded boyfriend backstage and burn off some steam or something. ‘S one of the perks of a tour.---- But take care of yourself first, alright?”

You look up at the ceiling at the rows of spotlights Dean installed, once upon a time, that framed the island and sighed. “I’m not discussing my sex life with you— like— ever again.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. We’ll have a sleepover and braid Sam’s hair.”

You sputtered and then went back to dishing up your food.

“Muérdeme, Dean. Then we’d have to listen to all the kinky shit him and Madison are into, no thank you.”

“Touche.”

You heard Dean’s phone buzz with a notification. The metaphorical clock struck twelve.

“That’s Bela, isn’t it?”

“Yep. Okay, well, it’s been fun.”

You inhaled and sent him off, “go get ‘em, champ.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks again for the birthday shenanigans. I’ll see you next week?”

“I’ll be at rehearsal, but I’ve got calls and stuff scheduled throughout the day.”

“Sounds good. Have a good one.”

“You too.”

Something lingered between you in the silence and before you could say something you’d regret, you finally ended the call. It almost felt like he was waiting you out, making sure not to be the one that hung up first.

Tagging:

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@mrswhozeewhatsis

@cosicas-cuquis

@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like

@suckitands33

@ladysparkles78

@deans-baby-momma

@stoneyggirl2

@sassy-pelican

@leigh70

@globetrotter28

@winharry

@lastactiontricia

@rockhoochie

[0-sparkling-lace-0]

The Lab Assistant

Hey! Before I start I'd like to introduce myself. You can call me winky, or wink, or luna. Also, I'd like to say in no way shape or form am I a writer. I dabbled in it when I was younger, it's been well over 5/6 years since I've written anything, though. So that being said, I wrote this years ago on a Tumblr account that I had that is now deactivated, because I personally wasn't happy with my work.

sigh

Always the critic. Anyways, I found this in an OLD ASS Google doc, and decided to read it again. Um, why I thought it was bad is beyond me. I was like 18-19 when I wrote this, and thought it was terrible. It's not the best, but for someone who was literally only just starting to write, I'm not sure it's that bad. Also, I'd like to say that my interests have steered away from Rick & Morty since having written this, so I don't really see myself writing for this fandom again. If you like it, please let me know! Also before I start, here are some warnings and tags.

MDNI. WC:1.8k RickSanchez x LabAssistant!Reader/AFAB!Reader/Age Gap/Use of Y/N/Masturbation/(Maybe slight degradation? If not let me know.)/Oral (Giving&Recieving)/Pet Names(Use of Daddy, baby girl ect-nothing too extreme)/(if I've forgotten anything, let me know!) Also it's been so long that I've been in this fandom or have read any fanfiction with Rick involved. If it's fell out of touch to write him with burping and or his usual stutters, I'm so sorry. That's probably the only thing that made me cringe while re-reading this.

It was a day like any other, as I helped Rick with whatever he needed. "Screwdriver." He said with a gruff voice. Before I walked over to the box that held his tools, I peered over his shoulder to see what exactly it was that he was working on. Mildly interested, I grabbed him the screwdriver and handed it to him. "Final touches..." He announced finally after an entire day of working on whatever it was that he was working on. "Finished!" He shouted. I was excited to see what it was, finally. "So, what is it?" I ask curiously. He smirks at me, giving me wild eyes that I'm easily intimidated by. "It's a de-device that can-burp- read your mind." I step back cautiously. Usually, I'd be the first to offer myself up as a guinea pig-bearing in mind that there's no way he can delve into my mind and discover the parts of me that I wouldn't want him to see. I always sense he knows that I have feelings for him, but he never brings it up because I'm a third his age. Even if that's the case, I can't take the chance. "No, I don't want you in my mind." He laughs. "Why not? Have some d-deep dark secret that you don't want people to know about?" I narrow my eyes at him, giving him a look that says back off. "Maybe I do. But seriously, I don't want to test this one." He sighs an upset sigh. "Alright. Maybe I can bribe-burp- Morty into doing it later. It's been a long day, let's go to-to bed." I give him a sad smile before I apologize and waltz out of the garage door and into the kitchen. "Goodnight, Y/N." I looked at the clock above the sink and realized it's only 8:30. "You're really going to bed? Why don't you hang out with me a little? We can watch Ball Fondlers together." I smile at him with questioning eyes, not wanting him to go to bed yet. I'd spent the whole day with him and I still want to be near him. He gave me a dirty look before lugging himself up the stairs. Maybe I made him mad when I told him I didn't want to test the mind reader. I frowned before grabbing something to eat and heading upstairs. I grabbed my TV remote once settled in my cozy bed and turned on Netflix. I kept the volume on low, not wanting to disturb Rick and make him even more upset towards me. 2 episodes in I started to hear mumbling. Wait, no, was it moaning? Someone must bewatching a movie, or something. I try not to think about it as I pay attention to my show.After a while, it starts to get louder and my thoughts interrupt my concentration. "I can't deal with this." I hop off my bed and walk out into the hallway, following the sound. But as I get closer, I realize the moaning isn't coming from a TV. I look over to Rick's bedroom door and see it cracked a bit. I tiptoe over to it and slightly peek through. Immediately my face flushes red at the sight. Rick, on his bed with his pants and his boxers to his knees, hand furiously tugging at his member. I had to cover my mouth to not moan at the view in front of me. He's a moaning mess. I slowly start to feel myself get wet with every passing second. This is wrong, so wrong. I shouldn't be invading his privacy like this. But I just can't tear my eyes away. "Fuuucck, Y/N..." My eyes got wide and how could I possibly get wetter than I was already? I could feel the wet patch forming in my jeans. My free hand went down to touch my clothed core. I had to bite my hand to keep myself from making any noise, this was too good to be true, I didn't want to lose it. My confidence boosted as I heard my name being called once again. I grabbed the door handle and thought about it one more time before finally making my decision. I swung the door open as I said: "You do realize I'm less than half your age, old man." He jumped and looked startled before he smirked at me; not the reaction I was expecting. "How long have you b-been listening?" I hopped up on the bed and crawled over to him. "Long enough to know that you're lusting after me, your lab assistant-how taboo." He chuckled darkly before saying:

"Not my fault you have killer tits, babe." I looked down to my chest and then back up to him before smiling. "Really? You think I have nice tits?" "Don't flatter yourself. I know you have a -burp- huge crush on me." I sat back on my heels with a frown on my lips before I said: "Well, from the look of it, it seems that you've one on me too." I gestured to his throbbing cock, still on display. "Like I said, killer tits." A thought popped into my head before I grabbed the hem of my spaghetti strap tank top and pulled it over my head, not wearing a bra. I heard his breath hitch in his throat. I raised my eyebrow in a challenge. "Fuck it." He breathed before grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me closer into a kiss. Not a gentle one, but an all consuming, hungry one. I kissed back with fervor. He pulled his hand up to my tit and ran the pad of his thumb over my nipple. I reached down between his legs to grab his aching cock and pumped him. He grunted and bit my bottom lip. I stole a glance into his wild, lust blown pupils. He pulled away from the kiss to shove my head downwards. "Suck it." I let out an angry breath through my nostrils. "You can boss me around in the garage, but not in the bedroom." "Hah! You act li-like I'm paying you-you for hard work." I grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed slighty while he hissed in slight pain. "Don't dare treat me like a 2 cent whore, ask nicely and you'll get what you want." He let out an annoyed sigh before saying "Please dear, would you su-suck my dick." Although I'd like it to be less sarcastic and more sincere, I want to get this show on the road. So I take his tip into my mouth and give it kitten licks to tease and get my revenge.

He twines his hand through my hair and pushes my head all the way down. After pausing slightly to gain control of myself, I started to bob my head up and down. His hips started to move on their own. The only thing I could do was relax my jaw in order to not hurt him while he face fucked me. Soon enough he was twitching in my mouth and I could tell that he was close, so I stopped. "What the fuck are you doing?!" "I don't want you to cum yet. Like you said, I have a crush on you too, where's my fun?" "You little bitch." He said before grabbing me and flipping me onto my back. "You like tea-teasing me? Huh?" I giggled before saying, "Yes, I do." He growled before ripping down my jeans and panties all in one go. "You're my assistant. I'm above you. Where's your respect?" All I could do is laugh. "You don't intimidate me, Rick. Now are you gonna keep babbling or are you gonna shove your face where it belongs?" Taking jabs at each other was a normal thing for us, but in a scenario like this? It only made me love him more. He gave me a look that could kill before he finally lowered his head. He started at my knees, giving me soft open mouthed kisses and traveled slowly up to my inner thighs. I was starting to get impatient. I sat up on my elbows and said: "Just get on with it." He shot me a smile. "Oh no, babe. I'm gonna-gonna make you beg." I laid back down with a huff. He laughed softly. I could feel his breath on me now. Finally, he took a long stripe up the center of me. I put my hand over my mouth, hoping he wouldn't see, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. He then started to suckle on my sensitive nub and I whimpered somewhat loudly into my hand. He looked up, angry. "None of that, baby. I want to-to hear you." When I didn't listen to him, he stopped. I whined at the loss of contact. "What? You wa-want me to keep going? Like I said, beg -burp- for it, honey." I looked in his eyes a long while before finally saying, "Please." "Nuh-uh. You gotta beg." He grazed his hand over my clit before quickly taking it away, and that was enough to make me want more. I grabbed his neck, pulled him closer to me, and whispered into his ear, "Please, Daddy." "Fuuuck. God, I can't wait-wait any longer." He rubbed his cock against my entrance a few times before finally pushing himself in. My arm flew over my face before I could moan out loud.

He growled once he saw and grabbed both my wrists and pinned them above my head. Once he was all the way in, he leaned down to my ear. "Is Daddy big enough for ya, baby doll?" I was lost. I couldn't hold back any longer. "Yes, fuck Daddy. You're so big." He laughed before pulling back out and ramming himself back into me. He took his hands to the backs of my thighs, lifting them and pressing them up, my knees close to my chest. "F-Fuck!" I moaned loudly into his shoulder. He started at a slow pace, over time growing impatient and speeding up. I swear I could feel the tip kissing my cervix, he was so deep. Before long I could feel the enticing feeling in my stomach start to pool, my walls around him beginning to clench. "You close, sweet-sweetheart?" All I could do is nod furiously, as words were beyond my comprehension. "Good, cum with Daddy. C'mon baby-baby girl. That's it." That was all I needed to be pushed over the edge. I felt him cumming along with me as I looked up at him to see his face contorted with pleasure, filling me up with his load. Panting, I grabbed his face and pulled it down to me, giving him a loving kiss. After a while of heavy breathing, he rolled away from me. I sat onto my side to look at him. When we caught eye contact he rolled his eyes. "C-C'mere." I smiled wide before nuzzling my face into his chest. He was playing with my hair before I looked up at him and said, "So, Ball Fondlers?"

[mxssingmemories]

brave // sam and dean x sister!reader

summary: you've been battling a secret addiction for months. when your brothers finally notice, they do their best to get you through it.

wc: 2k~

warnings: weed, angsty shit, withdrawal, drug use

a/n: this was written for the one and only @supernerdycookietrashblrr! hope ya like it, sorry it took so long

You knew that one of your brothers would catch on soon enough. They were both incredibly observant thanks to years of being in the hunting business, so it didn't surprise you when Sam caught on after only a month.

He'd noticed little things first. You stopped bringing home papers or report cards with big fat A's written on the front in red ink. Then came the attitude.

You're a sweet teenager, or at least you were. At 16, Sam knew you might be prone to episodes of attitude or teenage rebellion. What he wasn't prepared for was the constant snarky attitude, and, for lack of a better word, downright bitchy behavior. He genuinely had no idea what to do, and it steadily got worse as he put off having the conversation he knew he had to have with you. 

The turning point for him came when your appearance changed drastically. Your eyes were bloodshot almost every time he looked at you, and your shaky hands were obvious as you tried to hold your gun steady. Your safety on hunts-and possibly in daily life-was obviously at risk, and he wasn't going to leave that alone.

"Jesus, Dean! How can you not see it? She's fucking shaking! Her eyes are always bloodshot and she's got the attitude of a drug addict!" he shouted, the volume of it making the sound travel to your room. Your heart beat faster in your chest as you tried to ignore it, putting headphones in your ears as you blinked away the stray tears in your eyes. 

With a sigh, you pulled a joint out from the container under your bed. Your hand finally grabbed a lighter after fumbling for one for what felt like an hour. You flicked the lighter open, watching the flame dance for a minute before bringing it to the tip of the joint. 

A loud cough was forced out of you as you inhaled deeply, the smoke temporarily filling your lungs as you allowed yourself to zone out. You continued this process until the joint was almost gone, the lines of reality blurring sweetly as you allowed yourself to feel. You were pleasantly distracted, seemingly watching everything from third person.

You were so out of it, though, that you missed the knock at the door. You also missed the more frantic ones after thirty seconds, and the door slamming open. Unfortunately, you didn't miss Sam's loud yell.

"What the fuck?!" he shouted, watching you as you immediately threw the lit joint and headphones on the floor.

Angrily, he stomped it out, walking closer to you as fast as humanly possible.

"I fucking knew something was wrong. What the hell, kid? Why didn't you tell us sooner! We could've caught this shit early! You can't just sit here and get high on God knows what!" he practically screamed in your face. You sat there silently and took it, allowing him to get whatever he needed to say out before you explained yourself. To your credit, thinking was a little hard-you were still high, although thankfully not as much as you were before he walked into the room. The minute he stopped talking, you began.

"You don't get it." you said quietly, teary eyes making contact with fierce ones. "I've tried everything I could. You think I'd want to talk to you about it? Sam, you and Dean are on the road almost every day. I only come on half of the hunts you guys go on, and when I do, I'm usually put to the side like I mean nothing! Do you know how that feels? I know you guys love me but you're shit at showing it!"

"Listen-" Sam started, but you immediately cut him off.

"No! I can't just sit here and listen anymore! I can't even stand being sober! You know I'm high on almost every hunt we go on, right? Did you even notice that?"

At these words, your brother's eyes widened in shock. You knew he probably didn't, but after walking in on you with a joint to your lips you thought he would assume so. It didn't make it hurt any less, either.

"Why do you even care?" you muttered, a sob coming through on your last word. It all hit you in that moment; your brother, who you worked so hard to hide it from, had caught you with a joint in your hand. He didn't even just catch you high, he caught you in the process of doing it. You curled in on yourself almost immediately, not wanting to be more vulnerable than you already were. Your whole body shook as you involuntarily let go.

"Dammit," your brother mumbled as he sat down softly on the bed, hoisting you into his lap as he cradled you in his chest. You were still his little sister no matter what. At that moment, you went from 17 to 7 in his mind, and he let his instincts take over.

You sobbed into his chest quietly as he rocked you back and forth, his hands rubbing your back softly while he reassured you. You let yourself break in that room, your brother's steady arms around you letting you feel safe for the first time in months.

This feeling was disturbed in less than 5 seconds when Dean walked in the room.

He made eye contact with Sam quickly to asses the situation, briefly trying to read his face before giving up and scanning the room. His eyes almost immediately landed on the joint laying on the floor. Dean's jaw clenched the moment he saw it, the look in his eyes turning from concerned to deadly in just a few seconds. 

He picked it up quickly, turning his gaze back to you. The disappointment in his eyes was obvious as he walked over to you both.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he growled, voice strong with frustration. 

You sobbed even harder in Sam's arms, the weight of everything coming down onto your shoulders all at once. The realization of how much you'd hurt yourself and your brothers wasted over you, causing you to curl in on yourself even further.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," you choked out in between sobs, clutching the fabric of your brother's shirt like a lifeline. Dean's face softened ever so slightly as he came to your side, kneeling down in front of you. His voice was gentler than before as you did your best to meet his eyes.

"I know what you're going through, kid. You just have to understand we're here for you, yeah? We're gonna get you help." he reassured, placing a hand on your arm. You instinctively flinched back, tucking your head back into Sam's chest. You missed the look of hurt on Dean's face, his own eyes welling up with tears as he started to process the situation.

Sam signaled for Dean to leave the room for a minute, allowing him to get you in a suitable position and hopefully recover from the situation a little bit. He shifted slightly to where you were sitting up instead of hidden, meeting your eyes with a gentle smile.

"You're alright, kiddo. I've got you. We're gonna get through this, hm? There's a rehab center right around the corner-"

"No. No! No rehab! Please, Sam, I can't do that, you don't understand-" you shouted, almost hyperventilating as you defended yourself. There was nothing worse than that in your current state of mind.

"Okay, okay," he relented, rubbing your back slowly. The tension visibly left your body as you took a deep breath. "We'll try it at home, but if it doesn't work, you know we're gonna have to do that, right?"

You nodded resignedly, leaning back into his chest as you kept breathing as deeply as you could. You would have the difficult conversation in the morning-for now, you just wanted comfort, and Sam was all too willing to give it.

Morning came sooner than you would've liked it to. The bright sun shone through the curtains as you stretched, rubbing your eyes while forcing your feet on the floor. The voices coming from the dining room were quiet; the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through the bunker led you to it.

Your presence startled both Sam and Dean, so much so that Dean dropped a piece of bacon on the floor.

"Morning, kid," he greeted you, bending down to grab the bacon. You cringed as he put it right in his mouth, Sam side-eyeing him from the other side of the table.

You hesitated before taking a seat at the table, the tension in the room thick enough that you could cut it with a knife if you wanted to. Sam cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"Okay, we've talked about this, and we're going to give this a shot at home." he said, his voice firm but with more compassion than you thought you deserved. "We're going to be here every step of the way, but this means that you're going to have to follow the rules we set, okay? No exceptions."

You nodded gratefully, tears springing in your eyes at the thought that you'd have to live without your friend. Gently, you felt Dean wrap his arms around you, and for once, you let him.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into your ear. "I was a dick, and you didn't deserve that. I'm still pissed, but not at you. You're going through more than we knew and I didn't see that. I love you." 

There was no restraint left in you as tears welled up in your eyes. You allowed them to run down your face freely as you buried your face in his shirt.

You could feel the material getting wetter and wetter with each passing second. Either he didn't notice or he didn't care; he just kept holding you through it.

When the tears subsided, you pulled away from your brother. Determination was in your eyes as you looked him in the face, placing a firm smile on your face quickly.

"Thank you," you whispered, turning to Sam. "Both of you."

They both nodded, each having a hold of one of your hands and squeezing gently. The detox would start in a few hours-you'd been smoking at least two joints every day for long enough to know this as a fact-but you let the moment be still for a minute. This calm was something you wanted to have fresh in your mind for the coming hours.

As you'd predicted, the withdrawal hit around midday. The anxiety was the first symptom to come. Your leg shook constantly, the tapping echoing through the living room loudly.

Your brothers exchanged worried glances as they watched you sit on the couch with your head in your hands, the constant fidgeting not going unnoticed by either. Of course they'd done their research on this, so everything was expected, but it hit hard having to see it firsthand.

The next symptom to hit you was unfortunately the nausea. You bolted up quickly from the couch, running to the nearest bathroom just in time to get up the light breakfast you'd had this morning. Two pairs of footsteps trailed behind you, eventually crouching down beside you. Sam held your hair back while Dean rubbed your back, letting you get it all out. 

Once the worst had passed, Sam helped you clean up and guided you carefully back to the couch.

"I can't do this shit," you muttered weakly, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Listen to me," Dean sighed. "Yes you can. Sam's done it, hell I've done it. You are stronger than this you hear me? We'll guide you through it. You know damn well you're never gonna be alone in this," he reassured quietly. 

As his words washed over you, you sat quietly with your hand in his. Somehow he'd managed to stir up a flicker of hope and determination in your heart and you swore right then and there to use it for good.

Days of being sober turned into weeks, those weeks gradually turning into months until you hit one year. 

"Mornin', kiddo," Sam smiled, spatula in his left hand as he waved at you with the other. You smiled back, mumbling your own greeting before sitting down across the table from Dean.

"Today's a big day, hm?" he asked, making eye contact with you from across the table.

"Yeah, it is. Just-" you cut yourself off with a whimper, which surprised the both of you and scared the shit out of Dean, dropping his spatula as he turned to make sure you were alright. Sam's hand instantly covered yours, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand as he urged you to continue.

"Thank you guys for being here. I don't think I could've made it without you. I was a bit of an idiot to think you didn't care and I can't thank you enough for proving you do. I love you both so much," you whispered, allowing a few stray tears to leak out of your eyes.

Dean said nothing as he turned the burner off, walking over and pulling your head into his chest. Sam joined the hug not 5 seconds later, and you let yourself breathe. The sense of safety you felt like this couldn't be compared to anything, and you thanked Chuck for them and their love. 

The thought of even touching weed hadn't come to your mind in at least 5 months. It definitely wasn't easy to get to the place you were now, but you were finally okay. Even though you hadn't said it, it had a lot more to do with your brothers than they thought.

[nhlclover]

ENCHANTED . . . COLE CAUFIELD

summary: an enchanting night with your brother's teammate changes the way you feel about dating

warnings: NOT proof read, drinking, kissing

word count: 2.57k

You pause the episode of Survivor, tuning into the muffled conversation you could hear from the kitchen. It was Nick and Caitlin, although their raised volume indicated that they were arguing, which was bizarre. It had been a bit over 6 months since you’d lived with your brother and his girlfriend and not once had you heard them argue, let alone get in a serious disagreement.

Their voices approached your room accompanied by footsteps.  The room is brightened by the hall light as they appear in the doorway, dressed to go out.

“What?” You ask in a monotone voice.

“We’re going to Kirby’s house for a party.” He tells you.

“Okay? Have fun.” You say, wondering why he felt the need to tell you.

“No I mean we as in all of us. You’re coming too.” He says.

You roll your eyes, pulling the comforter over your torso. “I’m not really in the mood for partying with your teammates, Nick.”

“Don’t care. You’re coming with us, y/n.” Nick said, turning on the bedside lamp. “It’s getting a little sad, all of this moping. I mean I’m pretty sure it’s been a week since you’ve seen sunlight.”

“Nick, she just got broken up with, cut her some slack.” Caitlin says from the doorway. 

“Thank you, Caitlin. See this is why I like her better than you, she shows me compassion.” You say.

“To hell with compassion.” Nick rolls his eyes. “You guys dated for less than two months, he didn’t even know your middle name.”

“Can’t you just let me be sad?” You ask. “I don’t know why you want me to come with you guys.” 

“Because if mom knew that you were just lying in bed, eating chips and binging Survivor, she wouldn’t be happy with either of us.” Nick pointed out your depressing habits. He yanked the comforter off you, taking your laptop and putting it on the desk. “Now get dressed we leave in 15 minutes.”

You groan, watching him walk out of the room with Caitlin shooting you a look of sympathy before she walks out too. Not that he deserves the credit, but Nick was partially right. You had only been dating for two months, so your moping about this one guy was a little extreme, but he was the third guy that you had gone out with only to get dumped less than two months later. It was getting frustrating as you started to wonder if something about you was turning all these guys away.

Another thing he was right about was that you hadn’t left the apartment in over a week. Even you were starting to get a little disappointed in yourself. 

You forced yourself out of bed and into your closet to pick out an outfit. You pick out a black miniskirt and a black corset top, finding an oversized leather jacket in the closet to wear over. You got some block-heeled boots to finish off the look. 

You have enough energy to get out of bed and get dressed, but not enough to put any effort into makeup or hair. You took my hair out of its braid, tousling it a bit, while putting on a bit of mascara on your eyelashes.

You grab your purse, heading to the living room where Caitlin and Nick are waiting. Nick eyes your outfit, then shakes his head.

“No, that skirt’s way too short, go change.” Nick says. You go to protest but Caitlin speaks before you can. 

“Get off her ass, Nick. She looks good.” She says. She hooks her arm with yours as you head out. You get in Nick’s car, the short drive getting you guys to Kirby’s house in a few minutes

Immediately you regret your decision. You thought was going to be just Nick’s teammates but it became apparent that you were wrong as there had to be 100 people in the room. This is the exact opposite environment you wanted to be in at the moment, with sweaty bodies on either side of you as soon as you stepped into the room.

“Nick!” A voice shouts.

Kirby swoops in out of nowhere, scooping up Nick in his arms, giving his captain a hug.

“Hey, Kirbs.” Nick chuckles as he’s put back down.

You quickly zone out of their conversation, looking around the room at the different guests of Kirby’s party. You sport various Habs players and their significant others around the room, but mostly people you don’t know.

It was somewhere in the middle of another unamusing joke that you were prepared to exhibit some forced laughter when you spotted him across the room. His familiar face grinned as he downed the last couple drops of his drink, then began to make his way over to you. 

“Hey, boys.” Cole says as he approaches. “Hey, Caitlin.”

“Cole, wassup bud,” Nick says, dapping him up. 

Cole turned to you. “Hey, y/n.” He said, a smile tugging on his lips.

The first time you’d met Cole was two years ago during the Stanley Cup Finals when Montreal played Tampa. It was Cole’s first year in the league, and you had just wrapped up your sophomore year at Western.

At the time, you’d developed a small crush on your brother’s teammate. It was nothing huge, truly just a passing crush, like the ones you’d had on the boys you’d see once in your lectures.

Then you transferred to McGill and moved in with Nick. Cole became a frequent presence in your life, being a good friend of your brothers. Your once ‘small crush’ bloomed into something stronger. But Nick had already made it clear long ago that he didn’t want you crushing on any of his teammates. Ever.

So, you moved on. You let your crush on Cole get shoved down deep as you moved on to other guys.

“Nick!” Someone shouted from within the house.

Suddenly Chris Wideman is pushing through people, barreling towards your brother and engulfing him in a hug.

“C’mon man, you’ve gotta see Slaf right now.” He says.

Within seconds, Kirby, Nick, and Caitlin are out of the room, leaving just you and Cole. He looks over at you but you avoid eye contact.

“Did Nick drag you here?” Cole asks, making you finally look at him.

Oh, his eyes.

“How’d you know?” You ask.

“I’ve seen you smile, like a real smile, and the entire time Kirby was talking and cracking jokes and you were smiling? That was not a real smile.” He says.

He notices my smile?

“Um, yeah. Nick forced me here. Pulled the brother card.” You say, making Cole laugh. “I would genuinely rather be anywhere else, parties aren’t really my thing.”

Cole looks around, then back to you.

“Listen, I’ll go back in there, nab a bottle of something and bring it back.” Cole says. “We can find somewhere to sit and take a break from them. Because if I’m being truthful, I can’t stand most of the people here.”

You laugh, watching Cole enter the kitchen. He returns a minute later, an unopened bottle of Malibu in his hand

“Jackpot.” He says, holding it up.

The pair of you walk through the hall to the back door, exiting the stuffy kitchen. You guys head for the pool, sitting down at the edge, removing your shoes and sticking your feet in the crystal water. Cole unscrews the cap, takes a sip, and pulls a face as he swallows.

“I forgot I hate coconut.” He says. You laugh, taking the bottle from him and taking a swig. 

Conversation soon finds you naturally, not running out of things to say, topics flowing from one to the other. Hours passed by as you guys sat at the edge of the pool simply talking your way through the bottle of rum. 

“Who do you love?” Cole asks suddenly.

You choke on the rum you’d just sipped, laughing as a blush forms on Cole’s cheeks as he tries to backtrack.

“What…what I meant was are you… are you dating someone?” Coke says, eventually falling into laughter himself. “Fuck that was so weird of me, I’m sorry.”

Once your laughter subsides, you take a swig from the bottle. “Um, no one at the moment.” You say. 

“Really?” Cole says, a shocked look on his face.

“Yeah.” You nod. “I haven’t exactly had the best luck in dating these past few months.”

“That’s surprising.” Cole says.

“Why’s that surprising?” You ask.

“Well... you’re so… I mean…” Cole stumbles over his words. “Y’know you’re being a bottle hog.”

Cole grabs the bottle, taking a large swig himself. You allowed the moment to change but his question lingered in your mind.

It was somewhere around 2 AM when you finally checked your phone. Several text messages and phone calls from Nick and Caitlin appeared in your notifications.

“Shit.” You say, clicking on his contact and calling Nick back.

“Where are you?” Nick asks, a hint of anger and fear in his voice.

“I’m just in the backyard.” You tell him.

“Why the hell are you in the backyard?” Nick asks, then relaying the message to someone, no doubt Caitlin.

“I needed fresh air.” You say.

Nick continues to scold you, telling you how worried he was when he couldn’t find you or get a hold of you. He tells you that they’re leaving now and to hurry up. You stand up, grabbing your shoes in one hand. Cole follows close behind as you make your way to the front of the house.

“Wait, hold on.” Cole says, grabbing your hand and pulling you back slightly. “I can’t go around front. If Nick sees me with you, both of us wasted on Malibu, I don’t think he’d be too happy with me.”

You laugh, nodding in agreement. “Thank you, for tonight. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.” You say.

Cole smiles and agrees. The pair of you stand there, caught. Part of you doesn’t want to leave him just yet, feeling too much was left unsaid. You don’t know how long to two of you are standing there staring, but you’re yanked out of it as Cole pulls you into him, your lips crashing together.

His stubble lightly scratches your chin, goosebumps prickling down your spine. His hands find your hips,  and needing to close in the space, he pulls your body into his. You break apart, left a little shocked by what Cole had just done. 

“I uh… Nick’s waiting.” Is all you can say.

You spin on your heel, walking towards the driveway, leaving Cole there. You regret it as soon as you’re around the corner, spotting Nick in front of the house standing next to his car. You nearly turn around to go back to Cole, but Nick spots you, chastising you for taking so much time. You shove yourself into the back seat, looking out the window.

The kiss plays on repeat in your head the whole way home, your cheeks heating up as you remember his hands on your hips, gripping onto your jacket in an attempt to pull you closer.

You get home, beelining for your room, afraid that Nick or Caitlin would try to ask questions about your demeanour or why you were in the backyard. The kiss and the conversations keep you up, wanting to replay them over and over in order to not forget them. Eventually, you fall asleep, the feeling of Cole’s lips never leaving your mind.

You wake up in the late morning, the sun beaming in making the room a little too bright for your sensitive eyes. You trudge out into the kitchen, noticing the silent house. On the counter was a note from Nick and Caitlin, saying they’d gone to run errands and that they wouldn’t be back till later.

You took the opportunity to bask in the quiet apartment, making yourself breakfast. A few minutes later there’s a knock on the door. You open the door to Cole. His hands shoved in his pockets, a backwards hat on his head. Upon seeing you, a soft smile spreads on his lips.

“Oh, hey Cole.” You say. “Um, Nick’s not home right now.”

“Oh…I’m not here for Nick.” Cole says. “Can I come in?”

You step aside, letting Cole step in, shutting the door behind him. You’re suddenly painfully aware of your outfit, wearing an old McGill shirt and a pair of men's boxers that had been repurposed as sleep shorts. Your hair was pulled back in a messy braid, strands of hair having fallen out during the night.

“I think it might’ve been a mistake. Me kissing you last night.” Cole says.

“W-why?” You ask.

Cole’s brows furrow. “Well after I kissed you, you just said ‘Nick’s waiting’. Didn’t exactly seem like the reaction of someone who enjoyed the kiss.”

“Well, how else are you supposed to react when the guy you like kisses you out of nowhere? It kind of catches you off guard a bit don’t you think?” You blurt out. You clamp your mouth shut, but a small smile appears on Cole’s lips.

“What? Do you like me?” Cole asks. He steps towards you as you offer him no response.

Part of you, the rational part of you, is screaming at you to step back. Not only were you just in multiple failed relationships, but Cole was your brother’s teammate and friend. He was part of the one group of people you knew Nick would never approve of.

But the other part of you wants him to kiss you again. You want to feel that rush you got when he put his hands on your body, the chills that went up your spine when his stubble scratched your chin. 

“Do you or do you not like me?” Cole asks, taking another few steps towards you.

He’s right there. Right in your face. And you can’t help but kiss him.

Your hands go up to the sides of his face, pressing your lips to his. Cole doesn’t hesitate to put his hands on your waist, instead tugging on your shirt to draw you in. The same chill-inducing rush comes back, Cole pushing his tongue past your lips. 

You’re about to let him carry you to the couch and take control when you hear keys jingling in the door. You jump back, nearly pushing Cole away. Nick and Caitlin come through the door, grocery bags in hand. When they spot Cole, looks of confusion paint their faces.

“Cole?” Nick asks. “What’re you doing here?’

“I uh… wanted to see if you wanted to work out with me today. Maybe play a bit of tennis too?” Cole asks.

“You couldn’t text me? Or call?” Nick laughed.

“I left my phone at Kirby’s last night.” Cole says. 

You know Cole’s lying but Nick doesn’t and seems to buy his lie. “Uh yeah let’s do it.” Nick says. “Just let me put away the groceries and I’ll be good to go.”

Nick and Caitlin begin to put the groceries away. When they aren’t looking, you shoot Cole a look which he reads as ‘what the hell did you get yourself into?’. 

Cole quietly steps over, leaning over. “Looks like I’m going to the gym.” He whispers. “I’ll text you later.”

You shoot him a smile, walking to your room, replaying the events of last night and a few minutes ago in your head.

[ariesqueencobra]

what we used to be | Vlll

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: The All Valley is here but you're realizing things that weren't there before.

Warnings: tournament fighting, swearing, mild violence, implied slut-shaming

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Things are finally getting good! Loved working on this chapter and I hope you love reading it! This concludes season 1, next chapter will be season 2! Also, tell me why it's so hard finding gifs for each episode? I wanted the gif where Hawk is at the All Valley, showing off his tattoo but I can't find it! What the heck?!

Thank you to those who already reblog and comment, I see you and I love you all for it!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

It was the next day—the day of the All Valley. 

You were standing outside the arena, awaiting Sensei yet he was nowhere to be seen. In the meantime, Miguel was practicing punches but the look on his face uneased you.

“Calm down, man. Save some for the tournament,” Eli spoke up.

Miguel sent him a look. 

You frowned, knowing he was aggravated because of his breakup with Sam. You couldn’t blame him, still based on what you heard last night, she had good reason to end things when he hit her. 

Accident or not.

“Where’s Sensei? The tournament’s gonna start soon,” Eli asked Aisha after she told him to to bother with Miguel.

“He’ll be here,” she reassured.

Agreeing with her, Bert spoke up, claiming he saw him at the mini-mall last night drunk and yelling. 

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” You furrowed your brows.

“It didn’t seem like a big deal since I’m so used to seeing him drunk,” he defended. 

It was a fair point. If you had seen it, you probably would’ve thought the same thing. Sensei always had a Coors Banquet in his hand.

“Well, we’re here and he’s not so it’s officially a big deal,” Eli spat. 

“Something could’ve happened to him,” you said, opting for a gentler tone. “We’re just worried.”

“It doesn’t matter, we’re gonna have to do it without him,” Eli shrugged.

“Do what without me?” Sensei said.

You smiled when he approached.

“I may not always win but I never back out of a fight,” he said after Eli responded, glancing at his students before they focused on Miguel.

“All right, let’s sign up,” Miguel looked antsy.

“Not yet, there’s one more lesson I have to teach you,” Sensei said, signaling for you all to walk into the arena.

You intertwined your fingers with Eli’s, making your way inside. You gathered in a circle, your Sensei standing in the middle as he began to walk around.

“You’ve all learned to strike first, to be aggressive, not be losers,” he started. “I taught you to strike hard, to put every ounce of your power behind everything you do.”

You nodded. It was a surprise how much you’ve grown in the past few months because of Cobra Kai. You weren’t scared to walk through the halls and see Yasmine or Moon, you weren’t fearful of expressing yourself in your art class, and you sure as hell weren’t afraid of being yourself.

“But I haven’t taught you the third rule of Cobra Kai,” Sensei continued, pausing in the middle of the huddle. “No mercy.”  

Narrowing your gaze, you recalled the mantra on the wall in the dojo. You always wondered what it meant. Why it was important. 

“The older you get, the more you’re gonna learn that life isn’t fair. You wake up one morning feeling great, and then life throws a spinning heel kick to your balls, takes a big steaming shit in your mouth.” 

You grimaced.

“You get an “F” on a test, you get suspended. You fall in love with a girl and another dude comes and steals her away. Car gets set on fire. Just when you think things are good, everything falls apart,” he rambled.

Shocked that you weren’t confused by his words, you nodded along, understanding exactly what he meant.

“That’s how it goes. Life shows no mercy, so neither do we. We do whatever it takes to keep our heads above water. We do whatever it takes to keep moving forward. We do whatever it takes to win!” He exclaimed, voice booming with power.

A smile grew on your face as you felt the adrenaline bubble inside you.

“Remember who you are. You’re badass. You don’t give a shit! You kick ass! You’re Cobra Kai!” 

“Cobra Kai!” Miguel shouted, following the rest of the group.

“Let’s go down there and kick the shit out of everybody!” Sensei concluded.

With that, you were gonna reach for your gi when he stopped all of you.

“No, you’re not wearing those,” he smirked.

~

You overheard the announcer introduce your dojo but right before he said your name, you and your teammates all got into formation, chanting your name as you entered the gym, creating a rouse from the audience as you rounded the mat. 

It was empowering to say the least and you felt proud as you stood in your place, next to Eli, arms crossed behind your back.

“And finally, fighting unaffiliated from North Hills is Robby Keene!” The announcer shouted.

You realized this was the boy Sam showed up with last night right as you were leaving the party. Interest piqued in you, it was something out of a soap opera, and based on the look on Miguel’s face, you had a feeling things weren’t going to go down easy if they had to face each other.

“Alright folks, get ready. It’s karate time.”

You shook with excitement, some nerves bubbling in your stomach but you kept them at bay, trying to remember what your Sensei taught you.

Miguel was fighting first. The first round was quick as he used the crane kick to strike his opponent. Next was Aisha and she kicked her opponent to the ground, punching him in the face. 

You cheered her on, Sensei encouraging her. 

Then Eli was next, his opponent struck him but he blocked it, hurdling towards him and sending him to the mat as he knocked him out. He was announced the winner by the ref and you’ve never seen your boyfriend more pumped than now. 

“Yeah!” He cheered, pumping his fists before he threw his gi off, cheering towards the crowd that amped him up.

“Woah,” you were taken aback. “He’s so hot,” you spoke out loud from your daze, Miguel and Aisha sending you an amusing look.

Distracted from your boyfriend, you didn’t realize your turn was next. As you stared at your opponent, the excitement coursing through you turned into anxiety. Your chest was heaving as you took calming breaths, your boyfriend taking notice as he grabbed your arm gently. 

He sent you a concerned look. 

“I’m fine, I promise, just nervous,” you nodded, averting your gaze. 

While you had anxiety with tests or presentations, common things, this was new.

“Remember to stay on offense, Miss L/N, no mercy,” Sensei said, patting you on the shoulder as you stood before the mat.

You nodded, Eli squeezing your arm for good luck before you stepped on. You met your opponent in the middle, the guy slightly taller than you, but he could definitely be beaten—at least that’s what you told yourself.

“Face me, bow,” the referee ordered. “Face each other, bow. Ready?”

You raised your fists. 

“Fight!” 

You utilized the adrenaline in your system, blocking out all the fear and doubt, and just went for it. Dodging a few hits, you managed to hit one square in his chest. You scored the first point, but he got you on the next when you didn’t block quickly enough. You were losing hope when he got the next one too, but as you listened in on your dojo chanting your name, all the strength you needed found you. You blocked his hit, kicking out your leg and hitting his side. 

The score was 2-2.

One more point and you were in the quarter-finals. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, you shook out your jitters, letting the ref set up the fight before you were ordered to start. You charged toward your opponent, swinging your leg over his head and using his crouched position as an advantage, roundhousing him with your opposite leg. 

The ref wrapped his hand around your wrist, raising your arm as you were declared winner. 

You beamed up at the crowd, finding Demitiri and your parents cheering you on from the bleachers. You giggled to yourself before you made your way back to your team, receiving congratulations and pats on the back. 

“You did great!” Eli hugged you, pressing a kiss to your lips.

Your face heated up at the affection and you were still in shock as the final matches went on. As things funneled out, your next opponent was named and you gulped when you saw Keene on the board right under your name.

“Don’t worry, babe, kick his ass for what he did to Miguel,” Eli told you. “No mercy.”

You furrowed your brows. “He’s just a random guy, I’m not gonna hurt him for that,” you disagreed. “I’ll give him my all because it’s a karate match, not a duel.” 

“Yeah, well, he better not hurt you,” he grunted, face stone cold as he faced forward. 

“That’s inevitable, Eli,” you blew out a breath.

~

The quarter-finals were commencing. 

Miguel easily beat his opponent, but Aisha unfortunately lost her match with Xander Stone, she didn’t take it too well and while you wanted to go comfort her, your match was up. 

“You’ll do great, okay?” Eli reassured. “Beat his ass,” he encouraged.

You walked onto the mat, meeting Robby in the middle. You shook hands before you got into fighting positions.

Staying on offense, you struck first. When you landed a kick to his stomach, his arms barely attempting a block, you weren’t sure if he was taking it easy on you since you were a girl. Having seen how easily he took down his opponents, you believed that was the case.

So in the second round, you showed him no mercy, not holding back as you threw punches and kicks, landing your second point. 

He was taken aback by your fury and you sent him a look that you wouldn’t be holding back. You saw the furrow between his brows, his gaze traveling over your shoulder and something familiar to anger clicked. In the third round, he got his first point, kicking you in the kidneys. 

You tried to keep up, but he was a good fighter. He blocked your hits and landed a punch on your chest. You were tied again. 

He kept you on offense but you blocked his kick, your arm flying to the side as you aimed for his side but he got you, a kick right in the stomach. 

You went flying back, groaning in discomfort as he was crowned victor. You hissed in pain as you clutched your stomach. You heard Eli call your name but you ignored it when Robby stalked over to you.

“You okay?” He offered his hand.

You hesitated before you reached for it. Wrapping his fingers around your hand, he pulled you up, holding you straight as you regained balance. You let out a small laugh. “Not the worst I experienced, but you’re a tough fighter,” you grinned.

“You too,” he returned it, a genuine smile plastered on his face.

“Good luck in the semis,” you tipped, letting go of his hand and backing back towards your team.

“Thanks,” he followed you, eyes bright.

“Good job, Miss L/N,” Sensei congratulated you, raising his fist.

“Thank you.” 

You felt calm now, feeling accomplished that you made it through. It was over now. 

“You okay?” Eli glanced at your stomach where you were kicked. “I’m gonna make sure he regrets it,” he cupped your face, eyes blazing with fire.

You gulped from struggling to catch your breath. “I’m fine,” you reassured.

He nodded, smirking before he was called over by Sensei. The two of them plus Miguel joined the finalists on the mat. Cheering for them, part of you hoped that Eli would be the champion. 

The announcer got everyone sitting on the edge of their seats, anticipating the winner of the tournament before last year's champion was called to the center of the mat. 

Shortly after that debrief, Eli joined you once more, and Miguel’s match began. 

Without a doubt, Miguel was the better fighter, and the match became 2-1. Getting his game face on, he was able to score the final point, kicking Xander in the stomach.

You high-fived him as he made it back to the group just as Sensei got Eli ready for his match. Wishing your boyfriend good luck, he hopped on the mat, stalking over to Robby.

It surprised you when Robby struck first, starting with a kick. He sent Eli backward until your boyfriend had enough, wrapping his arm around him and knocking him to the mat before he punched him right in the chest.

It was intense and you could see the shock and anger spread on Robby’s face. 

Starting the next round, Mr. LaRusso shouted “Remember what you learned, Robby!”

This got him back in the game, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

You were intrigued, wondering why he was doing that. It wasn’t anything like Sensei taught you. Nothing about it screamed Cobra Kai. It was the opposite and watching it brought you a feeling of peace. 

It was odd.

When the round began, he still had his eyes closed when Eli attacked but he was able to block it. 

That impressed you more than it should.

Eli circled Robby before throwing a punch and a kick, both missed until Robby swept his leg up, striking your boyfriend in the face and sending him to the mat. 

You winced, worried for him but that changed to worrying for Robby by the look on his face. You knew he was in the game, adrenaline coursing through him, but you didn’t like the look so much. You saw as he got close to Robby, saying something to him. 

He wasn’t happy with what Robby said in return as the moment he had his back turned, Eli stalked over and kicked him in the shoulder, Robby’s knees giving out.

You screamed out Eli’s name in distress, not seeing Sensei run over to check on Robby. At the same time, Eli was disqualified, not making him happier.

Sensei scolded him and Miguel was quick to pull him down from the mat.

“What the hell were you thinking, man?” He pushed him.

“I wasn’t going to be a pussy,” he barked, smirking. 

You were standing next to Miguel, arms crossed over your chest as you stared in disbelief. It was one thing to strike hard during a match but when an opponent’s back was turned? What could validate something like that?

You were in your thoughts when he approached you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders but you shrugged it off, scoffing at him when he dared to send you a look. You rolled your eyes, moving to stand on the other side of Miguel.

Even he knew what Eli did was wrong and he only took your side when he made sure he wouldn’t come near you.

~

Before the finals began as the medics were checking on Robby, you grabbed a pretzel from the concessions stand, needing a breather after what you had just witnessed. You were sitting on the bench in the hallway when a presence sat next to you.

“You’re still mad?”

“I’d be shocked if I wasn’t,” you said, breaking a piece off your pretzel. “You know what you did.”

“I took down the enemy, now he won’t have a chance of beating Miguel in the finals,” he pointed back into the gym. “No mercy, remember?” He furrowed his brows.

“No mercy during a match, not when your opponent’s back is turned,” you straightened up, face centimeters from Eli’s as your voice raised. 

“Why are you defending that dweeb all of a sudden?” He spat. “One smile at you and you’re suddenly on his side?” 

Your eyes widened. 

He wouldn’t, would he? 

After all the years of seeking him for comfort after Yasmine and Moon would call you names, spreading rumors about your friendship with Eli and Demitri—would he really do that to you?

“Take that back right now,” you gritted. “Or shut up before you say something else because if you’re implying what I think you’re implying, you’re gonna regret it,” you stood up, towering over him. 

He held his composure and when he didn’t say anything, you walked away.

As you found your spot back in the gym, he appeared next to you a few moments later.

Your heart was heavy as you felt him next to you. But you didn’t want to think of that right now. You wanted to focus on Miguel and his match and you did. You watch as the points are tied nearly every round. 

When Robby struck Miguel with a two-legged kick, sending him to the mat, you didn’t think Robby would offer his hand like he did with you. But instead of taking it like you did, Miguel reached and tugged on his injured arm. 

Your heart raced. First Eli, now Miguel? You glanced at your Sensei, finding a look of concern on him. You wondered how much of his teachings he regretted, how much he would take back if he knew what would happen. 

In the final round, Miguel struck the third point. 

He was the winner. 

Cobra Kai won.

But at what price?

[themochiverse]

The Monster in the Dark | JJK

Banner credits go to the talented @gfxstdio

➳Pairing: yandere!sleep paralysisdemon!jjk X fem!Reader

➳Genre: Yandere, Angst, Horror

➳Warnings: Yandere themes, horror cuz its scary, sorta supernatural stuff happening? Sleep paralysis [like a ton of episodes], scary shit- Jungkook is a horrific menace, swearing, lots of whispering, unknown deep voices, creepy shadows, mental manipulation, NON-CON kissing, NON-CON touching (Nothing sexual happens), choking, suffocation, assumption of death, mentions of death, attempted murder, threats, medication (Sleeping pills), bruises, emotional breakdown, hallucinations & just monster stuff that monsters do during sleep paralysis 😶‍🌫️

**Note: Sleep Paralysis does not cause death, it's only temporary for a while and not permanent. I have researched beforehand so do not come at me if you think I have stated something wrong also bcz this shit has happened to me, so yeah.

➳Synopsis: Sleep paralysis is a common concern for everyone, but once your episodes start to become more frequent, you meet a horrid monster. A horrid monster who has only come for you to join him in his world. You can't run, you can't hide, but you can only watch whatever the hell is going to happen to you right now.

➳Word Count: 9.6k+

➳Disclaimer: This fanfic is purely from my imagination, I do not intend to harm any Idol or person in any way. Nor sexualising them. Please do not steal any ideas from here, this is all of my work and original work. I DO NOT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOUR IRL.

The Monster in The Dark ©Copyright -2023- themochiverse

-All Rights Reserved

No part of the story can be copied, reproduced, redistributed or transformed into any other form. Meaning no photocopying, recording whether written or electrically. No methods are allowed that uses anything from this fic. This follows in the permitted Copyright Law. All images and videos go to their rightful owners.

A/N: This was sitting in my drafts for a while so here it is, finally. Also I met my demon 😬

A/N 2: Holy shit, this was so hard to write.

Permanent Tag-list: @minshookie29 @6tslovr @proflyndo @pinkcherrybombs @xanslii @papijiminfeed @justanotherstarlightmonger @kittykatfey @princess-sunshyn @jinniesjoon94

If you would like to be added, ask/join here!

“Shh, you know you can’t scream…”

You breathe laboriously, your muscles start to ache and the nippy air enveloping you makes you want to writhe in your bed. But you can't. Your limbs are frozen, and you are unable to move as if you're stuck in place. You can see your whole room, but you're skeptical about whether or not your eyes were open. Oh god, this was another episode. What was it now? The third time this week? 

You try to move a finger or two, but it felt like you were trapped. Your breathing is mute, even if you opened your mouth to utter a single word, it wouldn't come out. You needed to move, it felt so unnatural and dangerously ominous to feel this way. A true feeling of helplessness. 

Wake up

Wake up

You close your eyes, endlessly telling your mind to wake up. Lord no, you needed your body to be attentive, yet your mind was already aware of everything occurring. You had to try harder. You do everything in your ability to move one muscle, just to move one inch so you can be awake properly. 

Come on...

You're urging yourself to move any part of your body, whether it be your head, legs, or arms. You just needed to move something to get out of this horrid episode. 

Just before you’re able to move the tip of your fingers, you catch the sound of your bedroom door, it deliberately creaks open and a lanky, jet-black shadow stands there. It whispers things you can’t discern, and a ring fills your ear like a bomb that has been blasted, the silence crawls in your skin tenaciously, and your breathing gets abrupt. You can see the silhouette appearing closer, you can feel it. Then, with one last impulse, you’re able to move your fingers that soon form into a fist as you wake up.

You come around alive, and not paralysed. You unhurriedly, start to shift your hands and legs, and you feel relieved. You sit up, body angling to the bedroom door as your perpetual breath could be heeded. This was your first encounter of witnessing a shadow, not any ordinary shadow, a sleep paralysis shadow.

Though luckily it hadn’t come excessively close to you, it intimidated you. Its imminent figure just gawking you suffer in cessation was so unforgiving and memorable about how these merciless things were just here to give their victims a slight push to the edge. To let them know, that in the real world no one could stop them. No one.

You could hear the faded chirps of birds, your room was slightly dingy but some light eluded through the curtains, suggesting it was early morning.

As much as you would love to sleep more on a weekend, you decide to get ready for the day since you also had to attend a breakfast party, personally invited by your ex-best friend Seulgi. She had been nagging you all week to stay free just so you both could have some breakfast together. It wasn’t at her house though, it was at some café. It also wasn’t just so you guys ‘could have breakfast together’ it was to catch up after not seeing each other for a while.

When you go to the bathroom to get fresh and wear your clothes, Seulgi starts texting you to come over soon.

Seulgi 👑 8:37am

Hey Y/N, come soon, I’m already here.

You 8:38am

Yeah, I’m just getting ready, send me the address again? [seen]

Seulgi 👑 8:38 am

12 Burrow Street (Café Triton)

You 8:39 am

Thx, coming soon bae [seen]

You drop your phone onto your bed, your hands finding their way into your brushed hair. You can’t stop thinking about it, you can’t stop thinking about the shadow that was just there, gawking at you. It’s not real though, it’s just part of human imagination. Well, that’s what the experts say. Ignoring your repetitive thoughts, you grab your things and leave to meet Seulgi at the café.

The warm breeze unravels on your shoulders, the day nice and bright for any event. You drove by peaceful streets as the sun gushed its tenderness everywhere. You soon stop by the café Seulgi was at, eyes prowling for a parking spot. Damn, it was hella busy today, you reckoned.

As you were glimpsing for a spot, your thoughts lingered on Seulgi. You were best friends since freshmen year, having the heaviest bond any best friend would have. You both used to take it easy all the time, conversing past midnight, and sneaking out to parties. Gosh, those times were gorgeous, but as time flew your friendship promises were long gone, and the division of moving away to another whole country shattered your bond.

The impression of meeting her after so long carves you doubt the relationship you two have now. Your hands squeeze the steering wheel, knuckles turning white when you hesitate to turn around and go back home. Yet, it would be so insensitive and overwhelming to just leave like this.

“Fuck it,” you mumble as you turn the key to turn off the engine. Clutching your purse you slam the car door, making your way over to the café. When you strut towards the quiet shop, you instantly recognise the long, silky black hair.

Resting on top of her hair was a red beret, at first it looked like a cherry but a squashed one with its stem just sprouting out again. The accessory matched with her red coat, all buttons unbuttoned revealing her black checkered top. A black skirt hugged her legs, flimsy edges falling onto her knees.

Seulgi

There she was, reclining outside, absorbing the breeze that was dancing away. You stood there as still as a statue, interesting thoughts consumed that no non-living thing would have. You breathe in and out like you've run a marathon and just came last place. Honestly, you weren't much the athletic type.

Your heels clack against the wonky road when you cross, and once Seulgi obtains your attention, you wave at her like you waving at a small child who came running to you.

This was so stupid.

You come up to her foreseeing a hug, after all, it's been more than 4 years. But, the girl just sits there, expecting you to not be that friendly. You sit on your seat, hands clasped on your lap. Seulgi gapes at you, and you stare back. It's been 4 years since you've met face-to-face, and talking to her now? It felt awkwardly problematic.

She analyzed you up and down, and the insides of your stomach churned in a growling matter. You squint a bit out of irritation, but you weren't sure if it was for the pang or if you were ravenous.

The breeze whirled past your ear, whispers humming away in the wind. You sit upright, ready to strike it all to start the conversation.

"I-"

"I've missed you!" Seulgi exclaims, scooting closer to the coffee table. "You have no idea how right you were Y/N, I was such an idiot for leaving you!" The words slowly start to cure the hole in your heart, her words were medicine to you as they filled you up with infinite happiness.

She suddenly clasps your hands, squeezing them when she mutters the next words.

"Please forgive me, I should have never left a friend like you." Your eyes glistened with tears, the way she said it, with passion and honesty, you finally felt that your best friend was here. Even after all the unpromising events, Seulgi finally realised her mistakes, and she accepted her wrongdoing.

You went in to pull in a hug but that all shattered when a hand waved at your face.

"Y/N? Hello, are you even here?" The tone was what made you snap out of everything. Fuck, what the fuck were you doing?

The hand continues to wave at you when you stop it from moving any further. Seulgi snatches her hand away, exasperating a loud purposeful sigh.

“I was asking how you were?” Seulgi raises an eyebrow as she fixes her beret.

“Good, I’ve been good, you?”

“Better, actually,” she suppresses a smile before nodding her head gently.

“So how are things going at-”

“Shall we order first? I’ve been waiting for a while and I’m hungry.” Her cutting you off startled you a bit, but you complied.

“O-oh, yeah sure.” Her manicured nails grip the menu on the wooden table, her eyes skimming past numerous types of breakfast options. You do the same, looking for something light and enjoyable. Aha, two buttered croissants, a side of fresh strawberries and a cappuccino coffee sounded nice.

“Have you picked?” Seulgi questions, neatly putting the menu away.

“Yeah I have, how about you?”

“I decided the minute I touched the menu,” she sighs again, almost sounding annoyed. You nearly frown, but you hide it when she glances at you and calls for the waiter.

“I’ll pay by the way, I don’t want to hear it from you.”

“What do you mean? It’s been years Seulgi, at least let me do something.” Seulgi rolls her eyes in response, before turning to you again.

“Y/N, please don’t pay, let me do it.” She emphasised the ‘me’, her tone was like a volcano erupting. You scoff, moving closer to the table.

“Why? Is it because you think I can’t pay for the both of us?”

“Y/N, I thought we talked about this.”

“Seulgi, what is up with you? You decide to invite me for some breakfast after not seeing each other for more than four fucking years and you’re not willing to let me pay?”

“It’s not that, I just thought it would be better if I did it, and stop overreacting for god sake.”

“I’m not overreacting, you left me Seulgi, you practically left me to save your huge ass ego.” You nearly jump at her, people walking by side eye you both.

"Y/N, not here." She growls, avoiding the looks people were passing by.

“Y/N, you need to understand that I had to do it-“

“Here you go with the same excuse again, why did we even meet up in the first place?” And there goes the deafening silence, and you knew you hit the bell this time.

“Yes, you're right, why did we even meet when we both knew there wasn't going to be a happy ending?” The words rattle your heart and it felt like a mini earthquake was going on in there.

How could she just say that? How could she just expect everything to go normal after she left you during your most difficult time? When she knew everything beforehand, she just decided to leave you and move on with her own life. You didn’t even know back then that she had gone until her parents told you where she had went. It nearly broke your heart, like a nail being hammered repeatedly.

“You’re still taking those pills, aren’t you? That’s why you’re acting like this.” You momentarily freeze, eyes widening in shock and disbelief.

“What the fuck Seulgi? I stopped taking them fucking months ago.”

“Then why are you acting like this? Why-“

“Why are YOU acting as if everything was going to be normal when we met up?” Seulgi opens her mouth again but you don’t let her talk.

“You’re doing this to show your other friends, isn’t it? To show that you miss your dearest best friend and that you’re such a kind soul to be with.”

“Fuck, Seulgi I've seen your posts, you’re just doing this to show them, I'm not that stupid.” Your voice cracks when your own words hit you like a truck. This was really stupid. You get up to leave, not wanting Seulgi to see your warm tears trickle down your cheeks. The chair screeches when you prepare to walk away, a hand grasps your arm.

"Y/N, listen I am so so so sorry, but you have to believe me please. I swear it's not for them, I am sorry for leaving you, I am sorry for being so rude to you, I am so sorry that I was not being the best friend I was meant to be." The words shake your heart even further, it was too late, you can't accept the apology when she might just do the same thing again.

Should you? Or, should you not?

It was a risky decision, but was it going to be worth it? Was she just apologising because people were staring at the commotion? Or was it truly coming from her? The real Seulgi?

"I'm sorry." And with that said, you leave, her hand slipping away. You've taken so many decisions in life, but you never had thought of making this one.

You reach the parking lot, hands fumbling to find the keys. The door snaps and silence hits the air again, the replay of her apologising was giving you a headache. You were not prepared for god's sake, why did you come? The emotions start to pour out of nowhere, and your eyes start to become red, brimmed with water. Out of nowhere, you bite your fist, teeth digging into your skin leaving prints of faint, red marks.

You should have just gone back to bed.

"Shit, why did she even want to meet up if she was gonna behave like some stuck-up bitch?" The disgusted tone rolled off your sister's tongue, venom spitting out as she scrunched her eyebrows in anger. You were sitting on a stool, legs crossed in comfort as you murmured, "I don't know."

The abrupt argument with Seulgi lingered in your mind, and you had decided to drive to your sister's place. To knock it off and forget it ever even happened.

"What else did she say?" Your sister takes a seat across from you, sitting down to hear you out, to listen. Your brain processes the devastating event, finally ticking at the comment that made you fire up.

"The pills- she was talking about the pills." The gasp was almost silent but audible enough to hear it come from your sister's mouth. The shocked expression could relate though.

Months ago, after sleepless nights of doing work, late shifts, and too many 'outgoings' you were fed up with the tiredness your body was composing every day. No matter how hard you tried to shut your eyes, listening to music that did not help you sleep made you confused and frustrated. That was when you started taking sleeping pills. You heard a lot about them, how great they were when you were having restless nights.

When you bought it one night, it kicked in within thirty minutes and you were snoozing into a deep slumber you hadn't had for ages. You took a couple more for the following days and you've never felt better before.

Wrong. You were just simply wrong.

You've had sleep paralysis before, it was on rare occasions, however. It would happen to you at least once a month before you experienced another after more months passed by. But then, one night you did not take the pills, worrying it would affect your health if you over-dosed yourself.

You were concerned about this since a week ago, you were extremely tired at work all of a sudden, accidentally falling asleep during your working hours. Your boss had made an unnecessary commotion in front of everyone, and you were humiliated, and embarrassed. During that day, before the drama had risen, you were acting irrational and grumpy. Your mood jumped from side to side, like a character not being aware of themselves. That was why you had stopped taking them.

Though, during the starry night as grey clouds consumed the moon, the paralysis itself decided to try you out. In other words, to make you a paralysed human, to see during the frightening experience and see the after-effects.

You were prepared to sleep, shuffling on your bed to get a perfectly comfortable position. Surprisingly, after forty minutes or so, you fell asleep. You actually fell asleep. Two hours later, you suddenly wake up, eyes groggily getting used to your surroundings in the dark, only to be lit up by a night lamp. You had this sudden sick feeling, and then you really felt it.

At first, you thought it was a nightmare, and that you would simply wake up, but the twisted feeling in your gut proved it real. It was as if the shock had run through you and you were frozen out of fear. Out of exhaustion. Out of lack of sleep.

Of course, your friend sleep paralysis had come over to visit.

Normally, you would try anything to get you to possibly move, yet sometimes you would just close your eyes and wait for it to go away, knowing it would last for a couple of minutes. But for some reason, you were scared, it felt different to you somehow.

It was not numbness as people who hadn't experienced it before thought, it was like being stuck to cement and no one could help you. No one would hear your screams or cries, only your heavy breathing was the source of your being alive.

The feeling had disappeared within three minutes or so, and you were able to move in pleasure. But, that one episode, definitely felt much different than before.

"You should get some rest." Your sister said, grabbing the car keys that were on the kitchen counter.

"Gonna get some food, and I'll talk to you about it later." She accidentally gives a look of concern, waving the keys around in her hands before heading out. Once she left, you sat on the couch, propping yourself comfortably. You grabbed the tv-remote, flicking through the channels.

Nothing really interesting.

You let out an exasperated sigh, staying on a cartoon channel, displayed for younger kids. You lie down primarily, just watching and thinking, watching and.. thinking. Was there even anything better to do?

"I am so sorry that I was not being the best friend I was meant to be."

You squeeze yourself momentarily when you recall the words. It was a rollercoaster just meeting her. The girl who broke your heart, and now you did not know how to seal the crack and let it heal. Was it the right choice you made? Not accepting the apology, and waiting for the foreseeable future? There was a growing ache that travelled everywhere in your body, and it hurt so much that you closed your eyes and breathed.

Gosh, you weren't able to breathe freely today.

Your loud breaths were soon tranquil snores, and the atmosphere around you vanished.

You were at a café, sipping on some hot cocoa with pink and white marshmallows on top, whipped cream melting into the hot beverage. There were muffled sounds but it was quiet. Peaceful enough for you to fall asleep on the spot.

Cars were roving around but there was no sound except for the light breeze that sang melodiously your way. It was relaxing and soothing, and it was getting the best of you. A music note flew your way and a tune was playing not too far from you. A white glowing figure stood there, dancing slowly to the music as well.

You think of joining them, leaving the hot cocoa on the table, the soft marshmallows fading away in the drink. As you sauntered towards them, the tune was more rackety now, more audibly visible. You take small steps, registering them carefully as you approach the person. The glow on them, however, dwindles away. When they pivot, the words screech into your ears.

"I am so sorry that I was not being the best friend I was meant to be."

Your eyes shot open from the terrible dream you had. You realised the tv was still on, but there was no audio. Only the clock ticking every second was heard.

Oh fuck, it’s happening again.

Your mouth shapes an ‘o’ form as you try to speak out something. Anything. But frivolity comes out, your voice had been held up like from the Disney Movie, Little Mermaid. You were entirely attached in one position, head facing the awning as one of your arms droops off the settee. The curtains were drawn, no light escaping this time.

You hear footsteps shuffling, and what was that? A hum?

The footsteps approach closer, and closer, and closer...

Then it halts, and your breathing quickens. God knows what the hell was there, you couldn't even move to see what it was. Something tugs your hair and your heart skips a beat.

And when they show themselves above you try to let out a cry.

A deep giggle fills up the room, its fingers still weaved into your hair.

You’re shushed up quickly when the figure floats around you, analysing you up and down in awe. You gaze at the shadowy, blurry figure, making out its appearance. Black hair and deep black eyes, and its black silhouette. Your eyes widen in realization, the shadow. The figure crouches down to your eye level, its cold fingers tilting your head to the side to face him. Those doe black eyes just peering into your soul like black jewels glistening in the dark and charcoal hair sleek in one position. Smooth skin, and sharp eyebrows. It looked almost, entirely human.

“I'm not an object dear, I can hear your thoughts.” He whispers, head resting on one of his hands. “But I like how you're admiring my physical appearance in a way.” He grimaces, eyes gazing into yours. Holy fuck, this thing can listen to your thoughts?

He traces your face delicately, fingers grazing against your soft skin, your wish to flinch doesn't occur but it makes your heart beat faster within seconds.

The figure notices it, simply drifting away as he hums, “Don’t worry, I won't hurt you.” He won't hurt you, just yet.

"You know, it's a shame that you humans can't speak once we get a hold of you, but you can speak with your mind you know? It saddens me that I can't hear your pretty voice coming from your pretty mouth, but I'll at least be able to listen to your personal thoughts." He laughs again, almost sounding innocent but buried in deep evil.

You don't speak with your mind at all, instead, you close your eyes and tell yourself to wake up. It's just another episode, and now you've probably met your sleep demon. The demon realises what you were doing, his hand hovering above your head as he whispers words you can't comprehend.

You muster up all your strength to move but your eyes snap open when those same words echo in the room.

"I am so sorry that I was not being the best friend I was meant to be."

It repeats again.

"I am so sorry that I was not being the best friend I was meant to be."

But this time, it approaches even more piercingly.

"I am so sorry that I was not being the best friend I was meant to be."

It rings in your ear as a high pitch shrill vibrates, making you lose your mind. As much as you would love to squirm, shutting your eyes and telling yourself to wake up was almost impossible.

Please, stop! Stop it, please! You beg entirely through your mind, eyes looking at the hand that was on your head. He takes his hand away, the sharp shrill disappears and it was all silent again.

"Well, that wasn't so hard was it?" He walks towards the end of the couch, right where your feet were touching. His hands rest by your feet as he admires your feared figure.

Jungkook was loving this so much. He loved how your heart would quiver at his touch, the shaky breaths you took as he circled around you. He would love it even more once you were his.

Poor thing, you still didn't know his name, well, he'll tell you soon. Jungkook watches you trying to close your eyes again, doing those stupid things that were apparently supposed to help you out of an episode.

Honestly, humans were so funny to him.

But you were more of a delight.

"You know, nothing will get you out of this episode, as long as nothing interrupts us." His giggle comes out soft, as if it were bouncing on clouds in the sky, except it was light rainfall just pattering down.

This was entirely fucked up.

"You know, I'm kinda getting bored just staring at you like this." Jungkook drifts away, merely vanishing within a second, "I wanna hear your thoughts, so let's have some fun shall we?"

Wake up or panic?

You chose panic.

The room magically turns foggy, thick and misty. Your eyes scatter around the room, literally just to find the weird almost human looking demon. You hear the clock ticking again, dead silent.

"Boo." You don't know whether if your heart exploded into a million pieces or it jumped out of your chest because the next movements created a real frightening mood.

Your head is turned to face the pillows resting in front of you, and warm fingers graze against the skin of your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, and then soon to your neck. They rest there for a couple of seconds before giving a light squeeze, and Jungkook hums out of satisfaction.

A hot whisper thrums in your ear, "I want you to listen what I'm going to say to you Y/N, focus carefully."

You could hear his next words, this time your heart thumping out of your chest, "Feel my hands touching your collarbone, just gliding my fingers across your gorgeous skin."

"Feel how they move down to your chest, to your arms, to your stomach."

"I want you to feel how my hands smooth across your legs, up and down in motion, slowly."

"And watch how my hands grab at your neck, tightly." Jungook's hands practically fly towards your neck, as he uses this opportunity to turn you to him, his eyes trail your pale face, happy that you were on the verge of tears.

Satisfaction.

"Do they feel nice around your neck? Tight enough to get no breath out of you?" His fingers dig into your neck, red imprints arising from the pain. Blood rushes, and your head starts to pound. You can feel your heart beating faster and faster, your lungs trying to give out as much as oxygen it can. You can't move, you can't fight him at all.

"You see human, you're very weak in this state, so alone and afraid, pathetic."

None of this is real, it can't be.

"Tell me now, is it your desire to wish that the 'little disturbance' you're experiencing right now not real?" His laugh ruptures through the room, his eyes turning dark when his grasp on you gets immense.

"I'll prove to you what's real or not."

A large crash bounces off the corner of your ear, followed by a loud slam. You awake, muscles and fingers, your entire body finally able to move. You roll off the couch, breathing.

That fucker is gone.

"Y/N?" You look to find your sister at the door, a confused expression all over her face. She held up a bag that smelt of fresh food and you get up, pretending that you just fell by accident.

"Aren't we gonna eat?" You question her as you stroll to the dining table.

"Holy fuck, Y/N, what the fuck happened to you?"

Your sister practically drops the food on the table and rushes towards you, her hands carefully touching your neck.

You hiss in pain. Pain?

Your eyes widen in realisation as you run to the bathroom, the mirror reflecting and revealing the bright red marks left on your neck. Those hands that had been wrapped around your neck left light bruises, and tiny, not too deep cuts were everywhere.

Every time, a light feathery touch to your neck was felt, all you could do was wince in agony.

"I'll prove to you what's real or not."

This truly cannot be real, if you cannot comprehend it in your mind then surely, it is not true. You know what? You're probably having those dream loops right now. You're just dreaming, in another dream in which you had faced another terrible dream.

"Y/N, what the hell?!" Your sister yells from afar, and you almost jump at her voice.

"What?" You question, leaving the bathroom, you find her staggered as she pointed at something to the ground.

"Did you do this to yourself, Y/N?"

"Do what?"

"Did you seriously shatter my vase, and fucking cut yourself?"

Your eyes squint, and your eyebrows scrunch in incredulity, how could she blame you like that?

"Listen, I did not do it. I don't fucking know how the vase br-"

The crash. No way...

"Yeah, as if it totally just fell by itself." Your sister shoves past you, snatching a broom to clean up the mess. While the glass clinks against each other, your sister sighs.

"Look...Y/N, I know things haven't been going great for you lately, but you shouldn't use these situations as an excuse to hurt yourself." She says the last words softly, grunting as she stood up.

"I didn't cut myself, I swear, it was just-" You hesitate momentarily, she would not believe you now, would she?

"Just what?"

"You wouldn't believe me."

"Hit me up."

"It's just that, I- you know how I get those sleep paralysis episodes? I had one early today morning, and I saw a shadow standing at my bedroom door, that fucking creeped me out and now, I encountered my demon, Y/S/N, it was choking me."

The sigh that comes from her mouth explains it all.

“Y/N, we know they're not real, it’s just a hallucination.”

“It’s real! The fucking thing broke your vase, and it was strangling me so fucking hard that its fucking nails did this.” You point at your neck frustratingly, but honestly who would believe you?

“We should eat.” That is what your sister replies, disappearing into the kitchen. Your shoulders droop as you slump on the couch, pain inching further and further when you move your neck a little. You had no energy to argue with her, everyone knows that the scenarios you witness in sleep paralysis are not real.

But you knew this one was.

After a little convincing to stay over the night, you quickly drove back to your home, grabbing some clothes and your toothbrush. There was no message left from Seulgi, after the chaotic public arguing. Looks like you did make the right decision.

You re-counter the horrifying nightmare you had faced, the human-looking creature who was nearly about to kill you triggered your brain of the thought. You felt so weak, so desperate for help that all your focus to somehow manage to get out of the episode fell onto being alive… and not supposedly dead.

The marks that were scathed on your neck were now small bruises, pampered all over. Your sister had treated it, but every time you tried to mention the episode, she would ignore you and change the topic for both of your sakes. It made you feel stupid and delusional. Even if you had gone to see a doctor they would repeat the usual things.

Fix your sleep schedule

Try to regularly get 6 to 8 hours of sleep a day

Get regular exercise

And so on.

Dusk hits, and the night starts to settle in. Grey clouds block the crescent moon which hung at the sky, as you enter your sister's home. You stroll around the kitchen only to find a sticky note stuck to the fridge.

Dinner is in the fridge, gone to get some work stuff.

Time starts to pass as you do things that wouldn't make you bored.

You were scrolling through your phone, reading articles of mysteries and wonder but your eyes fall upon the big, bold, capitalised letters presenting: 'HOW I RECOVERED FROM SLEEP PARALYSIS'

Instantly interested you click on the article and start reading it. You were looking for some tips and ideas, just in case it happened to you again.

'First tip as usual: Don't sleep on your back in a straight position'

'...I had sleep paralysis before but it started to become frequent over the past few weeks.'

'...I knew there was sleep paralysis demons but I never interfered with one.'

'...And then it was there, a creepy lookin' shadow that just peeked through the doors of my wardrobe.'

'...I wasn't havin' sleep paralysis that night but I thought I was dreamin' but my cat was with me, and he started hissin' at the wardrobe.'

'...This thing had red eyes, and long scaly fingers that were at least 10 centimeters.'

'...It used to whisper stuff I couldn't understand, but it always said its name: Cybil.'

'...I didn't do the hippy stuff at the beginning but then I thought of following them, you know? So I started to exercise, fixin' my sleep schedule and basically made it a routine.'

'... And it was a miracle because it stopped comin'. I had no demons snickerin' and scarin' the sh** out of me now. I tell you to follow this hippy stuff because it actually worked.'

You shudder at the feeling knowing such a unreal creature could torture a human so much in their sleep. But it was the same thing over and over again. You start to remember the cold fingers that landed on your neck, the charming devil that was smiling all the way while you were on the verge of death.

You shook yourself vigorously and drew out a heavy breath. Anxiety started to creep in and you were suddenly aware of your surroundings. A vile feeling in your stomach was created and you couldn't help but wonder if that thing was watching you right now.

Would it stare at you if you were sleeping?

Planning to do something to you again?

Or was it just here to make your life a living hell?

Most importantly, could it kill you?

You hugged your knees, the caps hitting your chest as you rocked gently and started humming to yourself. You prayed that the paralysis wouldn't happen tonight, especially after having such a horrific encounter with him.

Jungkook sat in his own little space, black shadows whispering all around him, ghastly words that could send a shiver down your spine. The invisible force that held the others back made them shriek with each hit they took to break it down.

"What is he doing?!" They hissed, anger fumed in their corrupted souls, evil leaking with each word they spoke. Their misdeeds were the only thing that kept them alive.

"He's hogging the room." One said, their faint long nails stained the invisible force, all of them slowly calming down.

"Why?"

"What else do you think? He's doing it for a mere h-human." The shadow's voice drew out deep, sounding disgusted with the term. The rest gagged at the intention Jungkook displayed.

"Our energy is getting wasted, we're hungry, let us in you fucking dog!"

The force vanished, and all of the dark demons whirled at Jungkook, but something had stopped them. Jungkook stood as his hand glowed a black aura, it sparkled with sin. Their eyes grew wide, hunger devouring their wicked souls.

Oh god, Jungkook loved toying with them. He loved it.

"Look at you miserable demons, hungry hustlers ready to enjoy fear?" The aura grew even bigger in his hands as the demons' eyes turned pure black, their whispers chanting for food.

"Go get it."

The aura flew into the air and, all of the shadows cried for it as they ran. They bit, scram, swore, and yelled (even causing fixable injuries), desperate for the fear they were wishing to taste.

Jungkook chuckled as his eyes followed the drawn circle in front of him. It was as clear as night, (well in his saying), you slept so peacefully. He could hear your tranquil snores and your tired mind. The fear that was stuck to you was strong, incredibly strong for him to not hold back.

He thought he would feel bad after your first meeting with him went wrong. No, actually right. Because Jungkook didn't feel bad at all, but more excited. He chose the perfect person to coquet around with, to suck in some distress here and there. He found you.

When his hands touched your skin, it ignited a fire within him. Something he hadn't felt in a while. It was a sign that you were the one, the one for him. The reminder of his shadow watching you from your bedroom doorway, and your little panicked breaths made him smile.

You looked so adorable while being scared.

Every time your heartbeat raced, his did too. He would inhale your intoxicating scent, which drove him mad as he was anguished to devour some of your fear.

Exhilaration got to the best of him, and he swore he could never get tired of the fear that you released. He was blessed to frighten you, oh what luck he had in his hands. Jungkook never meant to go overboard last night, but how could he control it?

"Jungkook..."

His eyes snapped to him, black irises filled once again.

"What?"

The demon in front of him licked his black sinned lips clean, some of the aurae still dripping down his chin. He smiled wickedly before proceeding to speak.

"You don't mind sharing do you?" He looks over Jungkook, glee spread across his face.

"Fuck off."

"Yes? The last time I checked, you were the one who made the rule to share amongst our.. friends."

"Cybil, you're getting on my nerves lately, I suggest you to attend your duties."

"Or what? Are you afraid I'm going to scare the shit out of that thing?"

Jungkook growled, his shadow growing with the aura he brought upon.

"I can fucking banish you to the low-level demons, the ones with broken souls and mourning's everyday. Is that what you want Cybil? If it isn't enough for you I can make sure everyone can enjoy their next course meal."

This time Cybil's shadow fattened, as Jungkook's aura started to intimidate him. He spins around, muttering words he would soon regret.

"He should be banished, unwanted, filthy hellhound."

With the snap of his fingers, all of the demons' attention was directed to Cybil. Silence creeps up as all of them peer at him with greedy stares.

"Eat him."

If people who sang high notes could break glass, then the shriek coming from Cybil was a note that would never exist in the real world. The demons sank their teeth into Cybil, biting off his existence. His cries of pain and fear, mixed, drove into the air, while others were shamelessly sucking away.

Jungkook drawled back his attention to you. Tonight, he was going to let you go. But of course, he would come again soon.

Jungkook shook his head as a fear bubble sprouted in front of him. He could hear Cybil's protests, his useless begging. Happily, he quaffs the last bit away. He scoffs at the bitter taste and a deranged smile popped onto his face.

"Filthy hellhound."

It was as if you had faced a miracle.

A restful night and the alarm clock ringing indicated the long hours you had slept so quiescently. You heard how the occurrence of 'sleep demons' usually only comes once or twice, nothing of them too frequent.

The bruises on your neck were now less visible and looked completely normal whenever you moved your neck at a certain angle. Your prayer had been answered and you smiled so wide that your cheeks hurt. You get up to freshen up and meet your sister along the way.

"Hey, got a good sleep?" She asks.

"Yeah, probably the best one yet." You exaggerate as you go to the bathroom.

Goodness, you really were absurd thinking about how these hallucinations could be so real. Now that you hadn't had any demon coming over it made things better for you.

You were waiting for your sister to arrive while you sat on the dining chair, munching on some cereal. She strolls past you and sits on the opposite seat. A sudden hesitant question pops into her mind as she shuffles in her seat uncomfortably.

"Um, Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh, how long are you going to stay here?"

You look at her and grin, "I was just hoping today will be the last, if that’s okay?"

"It’s just that I have a business trip to go on tomorrow morning and I won't be here.”

You drop your spoon and the action spilled some milk on the table.

“Oh, when are you going to leave?”

“Early, like eight am?”

“That shouldn't be a problem then, I'll just leave at the same time then."

Your sister nods her head and starts eating her breakfast as well.

You hold your spoon, thinking that maybe you've actually stayed for quite a while, so you ask her.

"Listen, I-I hope I'm not burdening you or anything, you know? Especially after what happened with Seulgi, you're like the only person I have left to be with."

Your sister smiles and she gently puts her hand on top of yours.

"You're not a burden to me Y/N, you're my sister and.. sisters always stick together."

You smile back and continue the morning with laughter and joy.

With a groan, you unkink your back whilst plopping down the suitcase you brought next to your bed. The clock ticks and you just unexpectedly sit in silence. Thoughts consume your mind, like how you were going to go back to your normal life now. Doing your 9-5 shifts, coming home tardily, eating microwaved food- it was just the day-to-day routine.

Your eyes snap to the alarm clock posing on the bedside table, red numbers flickering 00:00. With tired hands you put an alarm on to wake you up in the morning. You sigh in response as you lift yourself onto the bed, pulling the blankets up to your neck as you curl into sleep like a small kitten.

It's dark and quiet, and the lights are out. No late movie nights, no pestering animals, and especially no awake humans.

A soulless noise vibrates from Jungkook’s throat as cold, icy breaths sail into the spacious room. He gapes at the room and does a bit of exploring like looking at the drawers, the windows and of course, under your bed.

He stares at your still, peaceful figure. He can't help but gawk at you in awe, his hands anticipating touching you and feeling your warm skin. He couldn't wait any longer. He had to take you home. He hurriedly backs away from you as he slowly crouches at the foot of your bed, his irises turning pitch black as his hands waver a heavy black haze. His feet float a couple of inches from the floor as he hovers above you and speaks in a deep, startling voice.

But you can't hear it.

You're not in his world, yet.

The mist spreads from his hands, leaving a trail over your sleeping body. It clings to your legs and feet, and your arms but Jungkook stops at your neck.

He reminisces about the moment when he first tried to kill you, how his inhumane fingers attached themselves to your pretty neck and he just wanted to feel your blood pulse through all that pressure. How your fear was nurturing him, providing him with a longer chance of living. You are his. And he's thought everything through, just to get to you, to have you and cherish you forever. You’re his favourite human.

However, today he wanted to hear your voice. It was an unforeseen idea, a rule that mustn’t be broken.

But Jungkook didn't care, he wouldn't get banished or eaten alive. Maybe get a warning at first but by then things will already be smooth when you're there. Just as he was about to snap his fingers, you yank your head roughly in your sleep. Jungkook quickly hides in a corner, stunned by the action at first. He then realises what you were doing.

You kept moving your head back and forth because you felt it. You felt the invisible strings that were consuming your body and you wanted to let go of them. You get up without a word and happen to roll to the other side of the bed. And soon again you're in peace.

Jungkook comes out of his spot, ready to snap his fingers again as he watches the dull mist sink into your gorgeous skin. Jungkook then disappears and watches you from afar, just waiting for you to jolt in your sleep and realise the nightmare that was reliving again.

Time went by and Jungkook was starting to become impatient. He had a choice to go rough and just physically shake you but that would be no fun. He has to take his time with you. He wants it to be a night that will be glued to your memories, something that he would also be fond of.

And then he senses it.

He sees it.

Your eyes snap wide open and the distressed feeling in your gut turns sour and gives your heart a good punch.

You feel that sick feeling again. Your body felt like it was just glued and stuck in cement, or like a dozen chains that were wrapped around you giving you no space to breathe. A feeling of helplessness. You closed your eyes and mentally pushed your body to move. But for some reason tonight, it was impossibly hard. You hated this sensation, a spectacle of fear and anxiety mixed drove you mad.

Is he here? You abruptly pondered.

“He’s here.”

Your eyes visibly shake when you see his tall figure, alluring doe eyes that aren't callow and his face as a mask of an angel but a devil in disguise.

“There’s no need for you to be scared of me, after all, I do apologise for what happened last time.” Jungkook roams around your room as you watch him through your eyes.

Is he truly sorry?

Never, what he did wasn't wrong. It was just part of his nature, surely you would understand that soon.

“I won't play to scare you this time, I promise.” His face is extremely close to yours, and you could feel his chilly breath on your neck. He caresses your face and gives you a small smile.

“You can talk you know? I just really wanted to hear your vocals, I wondered how it would sound like.”

You pry your mouth open and the first word is so croaked that you almost cough.

You had no idea what to say to this strange thing, all you wanted was to get out of another horrible episode and just go home.

The atmosphere screams awkwardness to you, but to Jungkook it was all fear. Just bits and pieces that go straight to him.

You finally manage to say a couple of words,

“What do you want from me?” You whisper, eyes trailing over the demon.

“To take you with me, to my home where we can be happy together. A place where you won't be alone.”

You're shocked, too shocked to even process whatever the hell you were hearing right now.

“And today I'm going to take you and you won't have to stay in your horrible world anymore with your horrible sister and friends.”

You suddenly snap, anger just surging through you. You're just tired, tired of everything that has been happening to you all you wanted was a good night's sleep, nothing more than that.

“Shut up! You’re not real. You're just a sick fucking nightmare and I'm stuck with a thing like you, you fucking son of a bitch just leave me alone!”

You expected to wake up and slap yourself for having such episodes but you didn't. You were still here with him.

The atmosphere becomes too quiet, so quiet that you bet you could hear a pin drop from the other side of the house.

Jungkook continues to stare at you as his eyes narrow a bit. You just added fuel to fire.

“First of all, I'm not a thing, my name is Jungkook. Maybe letting you speak was a mistake but I must say your voice is exhilarating to listen to.”

His mood shifts in a millisecond and then something just so sinister crawls out of his mouth.

“Do you know how I'm going to take you Y/N? Do you still remember how we did our first unjust encounter?”

Him choking you...

“I'm going to ruin the surprise but I'm going to do the same thing to you today. And then you'll be with me forever.”

“No...” You choke out, “stop, just stop and leave me alone...this isn't real, none of it is and you aren't that's for sure.”

“Oh really, Y/N? Do I have to prove to you again that I'm real?” His voice drops octaves lower and it frightens you.

You needed to get out desperately, this was completely deranged. But how? Your sister is asleep and this time Jungkook probably won't break another vase on purpose. Then what could help you?

You suddenly remember Jungkook’s words: “...nothing will get you out of this episode, as long as nothing interrupts us.”

An interruption.

Something that could possibly wake you up as an advantage for this demon to leave you alone. Maybe something loud and a bit heavy or-

The alarm clock. You had set up the alarm clock to wake you at 6 so you would have a heads-up on the time.

Your eyes shoot to the clock and the screen flickers from 5:58 to 5:59 now. Just one more minute and you would be able to get out of another sick interlude.

You don't notice but Jungkook follows your eyes and realises the way they enlarge as if you had a bit of hope left. Because you did have hope.

It doesn't take long for him to grasp your thoughts and all the planning that was whirring the cogs in your sleep- deprived brain. Jungkook titters at you when he calls out to you.

"Oh Y/N, my love, I hope you know whatever you're planning in that little head of yours is not going to work." Your eyes keep scanning between the clock and him.

"Because I know that your final minute is precious to you, but it is precious to me as well."

Jungkook emits a long, audible breath when all your focus is buried on the clock.

"I really wanted to take my time with you Y/N, I really did. But I guess with just a minute to spare-" Jungkook's hands creep toward under your head and you could feel the frigid skin against yours, "I need to kill you."

His hands grip the pillow next to you and a hard smack lands on your face. You can't move your head, your neck, your arms or your legs. You can't move. How can one be any more helpless than this?

You softly shriek and begin to bear the softness of the pillow suffocating you. The breaths you gasp out and swallow become harder to manage, and your body begins to feel hot. The pillow becomes heavier and the demon who's doing this just smiles in glee, black irises and black shadow overpowering your condemned soul.

“Shh…you know you can’t scream.” Your mouth shuts instantly and all you could do was muffle.

You start to detect spots in your vision, your breathing slowing down whilst all the blood that's rushing to you gives Jungkook more of a thrill.

You were soon going to be his.

You were going to belong to him forever.

You're counting on the last seconds of the clock, just hoping it would ring any second now. Every breath you take takes a second away, and you're just praying that something will wake you up right now.

...3

...2

...1

The spots invade your vision, your breathing stops and your eyes lay open with no life left in them.

You heave out aggressively, immediately scrambling away from the bed. You slowly touch your face, fingertips shaking from the experience you just interfered with.

Oh god, it was over. It wasn't real, it was just another episode. You're alive, and you're not with him. You jump out of excitement and relief ready to go to your sister and tell her you were feeling much better.

But she beats you to it.

You weren't aware when your sister walked into your bedroom. She was already dressed in her black suit and white shirt, with her hair up in a neat bun.

"Hey." You hear her voice and turn around to find her sitting on your bed just staring at your pillows.

Silly her, she probably didn't notice you standing in the corner of the bedroom.

"Listen Y/N, first of all I know you're awake," she smiles "but I wanted to apologise to you."

You frown at the comment, and you frown when she still doesn't pay attention to you standing right next to her.

"Hello, I'm right here. Who are you talking to?" You question her, hands waving right at her face. But your sister doesn't move her head to see you, she just continues looking at your empty bed.

"I'm sorry for not talking about what happened with Seulgi, I know so much has happened to you and I feel so guilty for not reassuring you or anything. I was completely wrapped up in my own work that I forgot about you, your situation and the life you were leading."

You instantly smile when she said that, and your heart is finally filled with contentment. Her hands touch something that you don't see, so you rub your eyes and you suddenly feel sick. Your heartbeat races like a runner that you almost drop to the floor.

There on your bed was you.

You were lying down on your bed with a pillow on your face, the blanket all crumpled white your sister rested her hand on your shoulder.

"Um, Y/N, you okay?" Your sister queries as her hands start to push off the pillow.

"Y/N? Hello? Oh my goodness are you-"

She touches your skin, checks your pulse and she felt the unseen frostbites that were stuck on your skin.

You stood frozen when a bloodcurdling scream erupted from your sister's throat, her eyes already stung with tears and her yells were becoming more desperate and louder.

Her voice started to become hoarse and dry, she needed water, but she whimpered and wept next to you, her hands shaking and fiddling with her suit pocket to bring out a phone but it drops to the floor and she does too.

You've never seen your sister like this, never.

You start to feel the wet tears glistening on your cheek and your surroundings turn dull and grey. It becomes incredibly dark but you could still make out your poor sister trembling as she stared at your dead body.

"No..." you whispered to yourself, "n-no, this can't be happening."

This had to be another nightmare, something unforgivable to make you see a distraught scene. You spin around and your eyes jump out of your sockets.

There he was. Standing tall and proud with a stupid smirk on his face as he watched you cry so beautifully. You shook and started to back away from this monster who had tormented you so much.

He crept up to you and your back hit the wall, and your sister and your dead body were no longer here. Instead, you saw a dark room with a silver glow on top of you. Hundreds, no, more like thousands of sleep paralysis demons were whispering and growling as they looked down at you.

You weren't home.

You were dead.

You were with him in his world.

Jungkook stood impossibly close to you and you just wanted to shrink into a little ball and get out of this place.

His hands grasped your chin and his eyes turned yet black again, simply purring as he spoke.

"I told you I would bring you home love."

You stared at the clear ceiling again, peeking at the disgusting creatures. You wondered how many people were disturbed because of them, because of the torments they brought upon their toys.

You trembled under Jungkook’s touch and your will to push him or even fight him withered away. And so you shut your eyes when you felt Jungkook's cold lips on yours.

He finally got you just like how he said and wanted. He hears your thoughts and Jungkook wasn’t going to lie but he does agree with you. He's a monster and so are the others above the both of you, after all, in the end, no matter how cruel or kind, they are monsters in the dark.

[maximoffcarter]

Messy.

Pairings: Peggy Carter x Natasha Romanoff, Peggy Carter x Steve Rogers.

Summary: Peggy lost so much when she decided to sacrifice herself to save the people she cared about, years later and living a new life, she finds what she has lost; but she was not sure if she truly wanted it back or if she wanted a certain redhead that always stood by her side.

A/n: Well, well, well…here we are again, after a whole year of not posting anything, I’ve made my comeback. Will I continue posting? We don’t know, but this is a first step🫡 Happy new year everyone!✨I decided to write what the writers didn’t give us in the episode. I was really hoping for them to give us peggynat but they were too cowards to give us that, hopefully in the third season🥲 So this is a ‘What if…Peggy’s episode turned out a bit better?’ but…written by me🤪 Haven’t written anything in so long so give me a chance. Hope you guys enjoy and…request will be open🫡✍🏻 Also, I added some scenes from the episode but it’s also sort of changed, enjoy!

Natasha moaned the moment her back hit the coldness of the wall, feeling a rush of excitement as she looked at Peggy taking off her shirt and showing part of her stunning figure. Peggy lost no time in going back to her lips, her hands gripping her sides to pull the redhead closer once again, not wanting to be any inch away from her. Both women moaned as the kiss became more heated, both trying to undress one another to get rid of the heat they both have been feeling all day. But just as they worked on each other's clothes, both phones went off. They both pulled away and groaned loudly.

“Is this gonna keep happening every time we try to have some alone time?” Natasha asked with a very annoyed tone and throwing her head back against the wall.

Peggy looked at her and chuckled. “Desperate much, my darling?”

“Eh. Just a bit. Not like I’ve been waiting all day for this.” Natasha smirked as she looked at Peggy, shocking her head and reaching to the floor to grab her shirt. “We better get going before Fury sends someone to find us.”

Peggy nodded. “Right.” She went on to find her shirt but stopped her movements when she heard Natasha chuckling. “What’s so funny?” She turned to look at her with a confused look.

“You might wanna get some makeup on that neck of yours. Wouldn’t want the team to ask what happened.” Natasha smirked as she grabbed her bag and kissed Peggy’s cheek before she left the room.

Peggy moved to the nearest mirror she could find and sighed. “Bloody hell, Nat…”

____________________

“You know she’ll be pissed, right?” Natasha asked as she looked again through the small window the new discovery.

“We don’t have any other option. She’ll find out one way or another, either way, she’ll get mad at us.” Fury said on the other line, hearing silence before a big sigh from Natasha. “We can’t hide it, not when we now know this is not a myth anymore.”

“I know.” Natasha shook her head as she thought about it for a second. “Okay, I’ll go find her.”

“Good luck.”

Natasha hung up the phone and went to find Peggy. She knew the moment Peggy saw what was inside, it’ll be the end of whatever they had. After all this time of knowing each other, Nat and Peggy became closer than anyone else, not that they didn’t get along with the rest of the team of course, even Hope was a good friend to them, but what Natasha and Peggy had was different, unlike any other thing. The moment they met each other, they had their backs no matter what, Natasha was not one to get close to just anyone, she had her story and had her doubts, but Peggy was so easy to get along with, they understood each other in a way that made them be closer.

That closeness of course became something more, but not enough for both women to conclude what they had going on. No one knew about their encounters at night, about the sleepless nights on their apartments, the secret going outs or anything about their relationship outside work. They didn’t know what they were doing either, but Natasha knew a thing for sure; whatever was going on between them, she couldn’t get enough of Peggy. 

____________________

Peggy felt a rush of anger and confusion as they went back to the quarters. How could he still be alive? How come she never found out about this? Did they know about this the whole time and that’s why they sent them to this mission? Everything was confusing, so many thoughts were running through her head, her legs bouncing with anxiety and nervousness and her hands gripping into each other. Natasha noticed the state Peggy was in, still wet from the ocean and the towel laying just beside her. Natasha went on and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around Peggy, making her come back to the reality she was avoiding to be in.

“You alright, Peg?” 

“What do you think?” Peggy looked at her and sighed. “Sorry, Widow. I know it’s not your fault.”

Natasha’s heart sank as she heard those words. Of course, it was partly her fault. She knew about this, but how could she make her go through that again? 

“I need to speak to Fury as soon as we get there.” 

“Peggy, you need some rest, we’ll go to him in the morning.” 

“This can’t wait. All this time I’ve been here and he’s…he’s been here too. For way longer. For me it was just a second, for him…I’m not sure what happened.” Peggy shook her head. “I should’ve known.”

“How could you, Peg? It’s 2014, you came from the 40’s. How would you know?” Natasha placed her hand on top of Peggy’s, knowing everyone else were either distracted or asleep. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

Peggy nodded as she looked down at their hands, feeling a sudden warmth. “You’re right. I’m just exhausted. So much happened today.” 

“I mean, other than Fury interrupting us and then your fight with that mustache guy, not sure what else happened unless you got something to tell me.” Natasha smirked as she saw a little smile coming from Peggy. 

“Right. I’m just tired.”

“You’ll get some sleep, you can go straight to your apartment.” Natasha paused for a moment as she looked down at their hands. “Or you could come to mine.”

Peggy looked up at Natasha, questioning what was better for her to do at the moment. She wanted to go so badly but she knew what would come down if she did, but going back to her place would be torture, she knew her mind wouldn’t be able to rest one second. 

“You know I don’t mean that, right? Just saying you can come back to my place, so we sleep. I know you.” Natasha grinned.

Peggy smiled and nodded. “That sounds good.”

Natasha smiled. “Good.” 

____________________

“Peg, think about this. We’re not sure what we’re gonna fight with, this is not the Steve you knew.” Natasha said as she followed Peggy through the hallway. 

“You didn’t tell me anything about this. You hid it from me, knowing perfectly how I felt.” Peggy felt upset, confused, the one person she trusted the most had hidden this information from her.

“I told you; I didn’t want you to overthink this and blame yourself for not doing something.”

Peggy stopped and turned to look at Nat, making Nat suddenly stop right in front of her. “And how do you think I feel? Happy? I could’ve done something; I could’ve found him sooner.”

“I don’t want to keep arguing with you, you perfectly know why we did what we did.” Natasha said with a serious look on her face. 

Peggy sighed. “You can either follow me or stay here, your choice.” 

Natasha rolled her eyes as she saw Peggy walking away. She would literally do anything for her, but she had her doubts about this. Of course she wanted to see Peggy happy, but not exactly with Steve. She knew why Peggy was doing this, she could finally have what she lost, which was still doubtful as to how he had survived for so long, but Peggy wouldn’t give up on this, she’d do anything to get him back.

As in with Peggy, she was still very confused about the whole situation, she was not sure what she was supposed to do or how she’d react when she came face to face with Steve. She didn’t mean to be upset at Nat, she didn’t want that, but how else was she supposed to feel? Everything happened so suddenly, the fight with that Ultron robot, meeting another Nat and new people from different universes, to coming to find that Steve Rogers was still alive and inside the Hydra Stomper. How else was she supposed to feel? 

It even felt wrong, unreal, like this was not supposed to happen, but slowly learning now about new universes made her realize that things happened for a reason. If she was destined to meet with Steve again, there was a reason. She was just confused as if she felt happy or scared or sad, so many feelings mixed that she could not comprehend, she couldn’t figure out she felt, but one thing she knew, is that she felt guilty for not looking for him sooner. Both Bucky and Peggy thought he was definitely gone, she was making her new life, even if that new life was having mission after mission, no social life other than hanging out with Natasha, which…if she was honest…she truly didn’t mind at all. 

____________________

“Are you with me or not, Widow?” Peggy asked as she walked to her.

Nat drank from her cup and looked back at Peggy. “Before I joined SHIELD, I spent five days in a Hungarian sewer tracking down and killing the head of the Red Room.”

Peggy raised her brow. “Are you certain that you killed him?”

“I mean…” Natasha shrugged. “I stabbed him in the carotid artery with a corkscrew. So, yeah, I think I did.” She grinned. 

“You should write a memoir.” Peggy grinned.

Natasha grinned. “At the end of the day…it meant nothing. The Red Room is still there, somewhere. No one could find the location.” 

Peggy sighed. “We have to try, Nat. We need to figure out what to do with Steve.”

“How are you so sure that it’s really him and not someone who is controlled by the Red Room? I don’t wanna tear you down with this, but Peg, you need to be conscious that this might not be right to do.”

“I know. I’m aware of the consequences, but you know me, I need to find a solution to all this.” 

Natasha looked down at the floor. “This is blinding you, Carter. But you know I’ll do anything to help.”

Peggy smiled. “I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t.”

“And leave you here alone? You kidding? You need me.” Natasha winked as Peggy laughed softly. “So, what’s the plan? Where should we start?”

“I can take you there.”

Both Peggy and Natasha turned to look at Steve. He looked so tired, his face looked different, they were right…Steve looked so different, but Peggy still felt some kind of comfort to hear his voice. Peggy walked to him as she smiled. 

“Peggy.” Steve smiled as he looked down at her. “It’s so nice to see you.”

“Likewise.” Peggy smiled. 

Natasha only looked at the scene in front of her, feeling her heart sank as she wished she had Peggy’s heart and not him…

____________________

“So, this place…”

“It was built to look like an American town straight out of a John Mellencamp song.” Natasha grinned at Peggy. “He’s a rock ‘n’ roll musician.”

“Oh, I know. Barton introduced me to dad rock.” Peggy chucked. 

As the three of them walked into the small town, Peggy looked in horror as it seemed out of a horror movie. It was completely silent and empty, aside from having the company of robots and American look alike houses. Nat decided to check the place for a moment, make sure that no one was there, leaving Steve and Peggy alone for a moment. 

“So…it’s a whole new and modern world. Howard really did see the future.” Steve smiled.

“I suppose so.” Peggy smiled as she looked at the town. “Technology took over and music is a bit better. It’s not so bad.”

“Good music to dance?”

Peggy looked at Steve and felt a bit sad about the thought of them losing the chance to dance. “Perhaps.” She smiled. “Why didn’t you continue your life? Like Bucky and Howard.”

Steve shrugged as he looked at the beautiful sunset. “It wasn’t for me. I was looking for a purpose.”

“Did you find it?”

“Not yet.” Steve smiled as he turned to look at her again. “But at least I found you again.”

Peggy smiled. “You did.”

“What about you?” Steve noticed Natasha going back from checking the place. “New partner?”

“What?” Peggy looked at Natasha and smiled. “Oh, uh…yes. She’s a good friend.”

“I can tell.” Steve smiled. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of this.”

“I should be sorry. I didn’t know you were out there.” Peggy looked down at her hands as her fingers played with each other. 

“It wasn’t your fault. It just happened. I did some terrible things.”

“Haven’t we all?” Peggy shrugged. “This world is full of evil and as much as we fight, there’ll always be another.” 

“And you’ll never stop fighting.”

Peggy shook her head. “Not really.” She chuckled. “That’s my specialty.” 

“You could have a new life. Another chance.” Steve looked at her and smiled. “Doesn’t hurt anyone.”

Peggy smiled and as she was about to say something, they heard Natasha calling for them. Suddenly the robots started gathering around them and started shooting at them, the three of them tried to destroy all of them but at some point, it became too many to fight. Peggy fell to the floor and looked at Steve who was still fighting and then she turned to Nat, who was also on the floor and trying to protect herself. She was about to move to Natasha when she suddenly felt a strong wind, and looking up the sky, there it was; the Red Room.

“Home sweet home.” Natasha walked to Peggy as she looked up the sky. And then her heart stopped for a moment as she heard a familiar voice.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Natasha.” Melina smirked and then turned to Steve. “Mission report, soldier.” 

“What?” Peggy turned to Steve, who was already pointing at both Natasha and Peggy, ready to fire. 

From there it all came down when Melina started talking, it had all been a trap, one where they had easily fallen into, all thanks to Peggy. She felt guilty knowing this was not easy for Natasha either, coming face to face with a past that she had avoided before and had never talked about, but here they were now. No going back even if she tried to. Peggy stared at Natasha for so long that she didn’t notice Melina walking to her, almost running, prepared to hit Peggy since she was concentrated on making sure Natasha was okay. But before that could happen, Natasha stopped Melina’s hand, making Peggy come back to reality and turning to look at Melina.

“Ah, so your job is to protect Captain Carter. You’ve become someone else’s dog, I see…again.” Melina laughed.

“I can defend myself and Natasha is very capable of doing anything she’s willing to.” Peggy said as she looked at her with anger. 

“Right, right. Cause she’s a…what is it called? Guardian? Security? Slave?”

“She’s an avenger.” Peggy felt her blood boiling the more Melina talked.

Melina laughed. “Right! So…Natalia. My sweet girl.” She turned to look at Natasha with a defiant smile. “I thought you would be the greatest assassin. You were one of the best. No…” Melina shook her head. “YOU were the best…but you left the moment you had a chance…how pathetic that was. A big mistake.”

“That was not what I was meant to do.” Natasha tried to keep a straight face, but she never imagined she would have to face the women she grew up with for so long. 

“You were not meant to have a life!” Melina screamed. “What? You wanted to fucking run around the streets? To be a stupid simple girl who fell in love and had a happily ever after? We owned you the moment we saved you on the street. No one wants you, Natalia. You were nothing and we gave you a purpose. “

“That was not a life.” Natasha shook her head, taking a step back as Melina continued talking. 

“A life? We gave you one. I gave you one! I raised you! I trained you! You were meant to be the best and we worked day and night for you to become the best. To serve Dreykov. But now…” Melina smirked. “Your purpose is to serve me. You could lead by my side, Natalia.” 

“To what? Take more innocent people? Take away the chance of a life that those little girls could have? Yeah. No, thanks. I’m good where I am.” Natasha grinned a bit.

Melina’s blood boiled as she heard Natasha, at this point she knew nothing would make her come back to her. “Turning against your family for what? Protecting our enemies as a fucking mutt.” Melina took a deep breath. “You betrayed us. To go be a slave of someone else. That…is a shame, Natalia. You know how disappointing that is? You’re nothing but a waste of time. A waste of space in this world. I raised you better than this. I cuddled you too much, and now you’ve become a softie.” 

Peggy knew that those words could mean nothing to Natasha, or they could mean everything…but to her ears, they were nothing but pure lies and manipulation to weaken Natasha. She was done with it. The more she talked, the more she felt anger taking over her body, looking at Natasha trying to stand still but noticing how she kept taking a step back, she couldn’t hear more of this nonsense. She put her shield back and threw herself against Melina, punching her face hard enough for her to fall to the ground and whine in pain. Peggy kept hitting her but before she knew it, Steve grabbed her and the fight began, both Steve and Peggy fought each other while Natasha was faced with the Widows and Melina stood up, cleaning the blood from her face. Peggy tried to go back to Natasha but Steve never let her, she knew she had to go over Steve to get back to her. The sudden denial rushed over her again, what was she supposed to do now? How was she supposed to end this? She didn’t know what was best for her, lose Steve again or lose Natasha, she knew she couldn’t have both. 

“Steve, listen to me. This is not you. You can’t do this.” Peggy pleaded. “You know better than do this.” She breathed heavily as she kept fighting. “Steve, I know you’re in there. The sweet guy I met, the guy that wanted to find a purpose, this is not it. And you know better.”

Steve stopped for a moment as he looked at her. “No.”

“Steve. Please, do it for me. I need you.” 

Steve opened his mask and looked at Peggy, guilt washing over his face. “Peggy.” 

Peggy looked at Natasha through the dust, Melina was now fighting with her. She then looked up at the Red Room and sighed as she was coming with a plan. 

“I need something to destroy the Red Room.” 

“Peggy, you can’t do that.” 

Peggy let her shield fall to the ground.”I’m done fighting. I need to do this.”

“No. This is not your end; this is not where it ends.” 

“Steve…” Peggy sighed. “I have to fight for this. I have to get this over. I can’t let them keep going.”

“But this doesn’t have to be your fight. I can do this for you. For her.”

“What you mean?” Peggy looked at Steve confused. 

Steve sighed. “Peggy…you know I have to do this.”

Peggy shook her head in denial, this couldn’t be happening again. “I can’t. Not again.”

“This happened for a reason. You belong here, you made a new life, you need to continue doing that, you were given a second chance and you cannot waste it.” 

Peggy felt tears in her eyes as she looked down at the floor. “I don’t know what I want.”

Steve shrugged and smiled. “I do.” 

Peggy looked up at him with a confused look. “What you mean?”

“Peggy, we had our moment that sadly didn’t last long. I never stopped looking for you, and you always had that place in my heart. But I can tell you have someone else in that place.” 

“I don’t know what you mean. I’m-“

“Peg.” Steve chuckled. “You’re too stubborn to accept it. But even with the little time we had together, I know you.” Steve smiled. “I’m happy I got to see you again, but we both know this is not what you want.”

Peggy finally let the tears roll down her cheeks, feeling heavy pressure on her chest. “For so long…I’ve been grieving for what I lost. I didn’t know what to do with myself when I appeared here, so many years later. I thought I wouldn’t get back my life, that I’d suffer in here.” She smiled sadly. “But I found my people. They made me feel like home.”

“She made you feel like home.” Steve whispered.

Peggy smiled. “Yes.” She sighed. “And for so long I’ve been denying it because I thought my purpose was to fight to get over my past, but I didn’t notice that I was already finding a new purpose to live.” 

“Oh Peg.” Steve smiled.

“Steve…I love you…”

“But not the way you love her.” 

Peggy nodded. “Perhaps…in another universe…we got to be together.” 

“But in this one you belong to her.” Steve nodded. “I get it.” 

“But you don’t have to do this.” Peggy tilted her head. “I can’t bear the thought of you sacrificing yourself.”

“You did it once, I don’t want to live like this. So let me accomplish my purpose.” 

Peggy heard an agonizing scream and her heart stopped when she recognized it. “Natasha…”

“Go. She needs you.”

Peggy looked back at Steve. “Steve…”

“Enjoy your life, Peg. Don’t waste another second.” Steve smiled. “I’m glad I got to see you one last time.”

Peggy smiled as more tears rolled down her face. “Likewise.” 

Steve nodded and flew away directly to the red room. Peggy grabbed her shield and ran to find Natasha, scared that it was too late already, but just when she saw Natasha, she saw how Melina flew away, screaming Natasha’s name before disappearing into the sky along with Steve. She looked back at Natasha who laid in the floor in pain, running to her and dropping to her knees. She then heard a loud explosion and pieces started to fall on them, Peggy rapidly helped Natasha and covered both of them with her shield, running to a safe place. Once she found a safe spot, she helped Natasha sit on the floor and checked on her. 

“Nat…are you alright?” 

“Pegs.” Natasha smiled. “Where’s-“

“He’s gone.” 

“Oh…right. I’m sorry.” Natasha groaned as she laid her head back.

Peggy wrapped her arms around her carefully, helping her to lean on her so she wouldn’t lay on the cold floor again. “I think you have a concussion.”

“Maybe so. Cause I see some tears in that pretty face.” Natasha chuckled softly.

Peggy rolled her eyes as she tried to hide her smile. “Let’s get out of here.” Peggy picked her up carefully and walked away.

____________________

“Captain, I’m very sorry about this.” Fury walked to her as she walked out of her checkup. 

Peggy nodded. “I know. It’s alright. Things happen for a reason.”

Fury nodded. “Natasha is out of her checkup too; she was asking for you.” He grinned. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”

Peggy smiled as she looked at him and shook her head. “No, I’m taking tomorrow off.”

Fury chuckled. “Very well. Natasha also took the day off.” He said with a playful grin before he left.

Peggy blushed slightly but turned rapidly so he wouldn’t notice the redness on her face. She proceeded to walk to Nat’s room, hoping she was still there and to her surprise, she was. She smiled softly when Natasha looked at her, a small smile on her face. 

“Are you alright?” Peggy asked as she walked inside. 

“Yeah, just some bruises and a hurt knee. Melina told them about me hurting it when I was a kid so.” Natasha shrugged. “But I’m okay.” She looked up at Peggy. “Are you okay?”

Peggy nodded. “Yes.”

“You sure, Pegs? I-“

“I know what happened…” Peggy sighed as she tried to find the right words to say. “I know that- that was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t think I could live with losing Steve again, I was glad I got to see him again but truth is…you were right. It’s not him anymore. For a slight moment, he was back, but he didn’t want to live like that.” 

Natasha nodded. “I’m sorry you had to go through that again.”

“Well…he did say something that made me realize that all this time I was stopping myself from.” 

Natasha got up from the bed and raised her brows as she looked at Peggy. “Which is?”

“I was given a second chance. I could’ve died back then, but I didn’t. I was presented this chance to live, and all this time I’ve been trying to avoid it and try to make up for the time I lost. What I didn’t know was that…I was given a second chance, and I wanted to to live that second chance…with you.”

Natasha’s heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Peggy. That beautiful and sweet smile of hers, always wearing that beautiful red lipstick that captivated Natasha every single day. “What?” 

Peggy laughed. “You…really didn’t get what I just said?”

Natasha shook her head. “No, I just- I mean I did. I just…didn’t expect that.”

“I know it took me a while. It’s always been there, but I was too scared and a coward to accept that I want you. I can’t bring back what I lost, but I can move on and live my future.” 

“Well…gotta say I need to thank Steve for that. You wouldn’t have come to that conclusion yourself.” Natasha smirked.

“Oh for God sakes. Is that all you have to say?”

Natasha chuckled. “No. I have a lot to say.” She walked over to Peggy and wrapped her arms around Peggy’s neck, bringing their lips closer. “But I’d rather show it than talk.” 

Peggy smiled as she let Natasha pull her closer for a passionate kiss. They both knew all the times they have kissed before meant more than what they thought, but this time they were sure that kiss sealed whatever doubts they both had. Of course, they still had to talk about what they were, if they’d keep it private or not, though she knew one or two people already knew what was going on with them, but at this point, they really didn’t mind. Peggy pulled Natasha closer by wrapping her arms around her waist, Natasha smiled against her lips and caused the kiss to break, but it didn’t matter, because there would be more of those kisses from now on.

Peggy smiled as she looked at Nat. “So…yours or mine?”

“How about yours for tonight?” Natasha grinned.

“Sounds about right.” Peggy smiled as she grabbed her bag and Natasha’s, not being able to contain herself as she held Natasha’s hand softly. 

“So…is this enough for a long day?” Natasha asked as they walked together. 

“Well, I actually gotta tell you something that you possibly won’t believe.” Peggy chuckled.

“I’m sure I will, let’s but some pizza and a bottle of tequila.” Natasha looked at her with a smile.

“Yes, my darling.” Peggy smiled as she looked at Natasha. Life started to make sense again.  

[vidavalor]

So... I made a key lime pie cheesecake thingy with toasted marshmallow topping, and something that was meant to be mint choc chip cake but ended up as mint choc chip brownie (task failed successfully?) with mint buttercream and candied violet petals on top -- have a slice of each!

Also, GO thoughts:

Restoration of angelic status: obvious BS offer in s2, foreshadow/Chekhovness for s3???

If the Bookshop was literally burned in s1 and got un-burned a couple of episodes later, and was metaphorically 'burned' in s2, five gets you ten it'll be un-burned by about halfway into s3. Reason one, parallel storytelling. Reason two (I think it was @ao3cassandraic's 'compassion fatigue' meta that talked about this), Azzy's never been shown much gratitude for the good stuff he does, so he's due a heaping helping of positive karma -- Anathema doing witchy stuff? Gabriel wanting to repay what he sees as some sort of life debt? Muriel wanting to repay his kindness? Azzy's old platoon remembering seeing him desert and deciding their respect for him outweighs their fear of punishment? Reason three, Good Omens is a fundamentally optimistic show written by a very talented storyteller who loves and cares for the characters, so the bad shit ain't gonna stick around forever and the good stuff is allowed to happen and persist without being cancelled out by gratuitous Drama(tm) and Angst(tm) (this isn't Game of Thrones, or a J**s Wh***n project). When Aziraphale quits the Bookshop for the South Downs, it would I think be out of keeping with the themes of the show for it to be anything other than his free, genuine, un-manipulated/forced/puppeteered choice, where he's had time to think things through and make arrangements for a proper handover.

If Gabriel could remember parts of Everyday even after removing his own memory, because of the strong positive emotional wossnames after less than four years, how much more might Aziraphale retain in his subconscious after an attempted memory wipe, given his bloody-minded stubbornness and 6000+ years of Crowley?

...it's too warm here rn and my brain is going wibbly and giving me Emotions(c)

Hi @jotun-philosopher! Hope you're having a good week so far, dear. Your kitchen adventures sound delicious. 💕

-On b.s. "Metatron" offer for Crowley foreshadowing restoration of angelic status in S3: I think, by the end of it, that Aziraphale's fall leads to the characters banding together to try to challenge it and overthrowing The Metatron in the process. They might all find out that it's The Metatron behind the concept of a demon and it's all b.s.. The demons will wind up restored to "full angelic status" by way of the fact that they'll realize they've really had it all along. Evil exists (Satan, The Metatron) but the rest of the angels and demons are, for the most part, just different shades of moral grey, like the rest of us. I think that would go along with the ideas of personal power that you mention and not letting others define you that I see in the series a bit. We'll have to see what happens though.

-On bookshop "unburned" in S3 & it being Aziraphale's choice to leave it: It's funny that you mention the fact that it was burned two different ways-- on fire in S1 and as a safe place in S2-- and how that fits in with the idea of mirrored storytelling because I was musing about what that could look like continued into in S3. I was thinking of the idea of "unburned" and I think there is an element of that. (Would also not be surprised if it's burnt a third time-- this time, by a burnt orange paint job lol.) I feel like it probably does remains an embassy. Have a meta in the ol' drafts folder about the bookshop, that its an embassy, and the cottage idea & where I can see already where the cottage idea might weaved into what's going on in S2 (besides the potential Jane Austen connection) so more on that when I get to finishing that one at some point between now and 2027 lol.

I do agree with your thoughts on the tone of the show and how it deals with dark stuff but in a way with a lot of humor and an overall positive tone. It'll have a good ending. You're right about Aziraphale being overdue for some good karma-- I think S3 will take care of him pretty well before all is over.

-On Gabriel's memory loss foreshadowing that Aziraphale might remember some things: What Gabriel could remember and when was really interesting. It played to me a lot like retrograde amnesia, which can really happen to some people who experience traumatic events. The mind puts caution tape around anything associated to the trauma and doesn't let the person engage those memories so, as a result, they lose parts of their identity. Suffer severe enough or all-encompassing enough trauma, like Gabriel did, and the mind can cause itself to forget its own identity completely in an effort to protect itself.

Gabriel's recall is also in keeping with that. He knows things like how to take himself to the bookshop and the lyrics to "Everyday" (and, some of us suspect, remembering Bildad!Crowley during the protection miracle scene) because part of his mind is whispering to him "these things are safe" since he considers the people associated with the memories safe but the context isn't safe enough to fully remember because of how Aziraphale, Crowley and Beez are tied to the traumatic event he's undergone.

There's also that Gabriel remembers more when he feels safe enough and trusts enough to do so. Crowley is more successful at helping him remember things once they've talked and the tone is less antagonistic and it's Beez, of course, who can bring him back in full.

I think Aziraphale will be the same if he loses his memories for part of the story. There will likely be things he remembers without full context. It will be fun to see what those are. One scene I think foreshadows his memory loss in general is the one below but I go back and forth on what it might be suggesting regarding what of Crowley Aziraphale can remember at first. The mirrored storytelling we mentioned would mean it could go either way, really, but I can only think of one, other character who could genuinely be described as a skinny latte, can't you? lol