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welllpthisishappening · 4 years ago

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Like My Mirror Years Ago

Hey, hi there, that gif doesn’t really have anything to do with the story! So, a couple days ago @shireness-says sent me this post and was like, “You know what you should do? Write some domestic Enchanted Forest with Killian unlacing Emma’s dress.” And I was like, “Yes, this seems like a good idea.” Only then, I didn’t write it. As I am apt to do. Instead here is some season 5A Camelot divergence set at some point between 5x02 and 5x04 with a conversation I have wanted to write forever, but didn’t originally plan on writing until I started typing it yesterday. And we do get to the unlacing, but first: angst in the form of nearly 5.3K.

Also, it should be known that the Google doc title of this was [Insert Hozier Lyrics Here] so if you’re looking for a soundtrack.

————

She knows the exact moment.

As soon as his breathing shifts ever so slightly, a hint quicker than it is when he’s actually asleep and, if nothing else, Emma supposes his inherent inability to lie is something of a victory. To her. Specifically. Or them. Collectively. Or that pesky future that feels as if it’s begun to drape itself across her shoulders.

That might explain the near-constant ache between her shoulder blades.

She resolutely refuses to accept any other reasons.

“You suck at that, you know,” she murmurs, not taking her eyes away from the piece of curved wood in her hands. Killian scoffs, and she doesn’t have to turn to know when he props himself up on his elbows either.

The creaking mattress helps.

Everything creaks a little in Camelot, another metaphor Emma isn’t particularly inclined to spend too long thinking about, but she’s got the growing suspicion that most of this kingdom is prone to making noise. As if it’s shattering right in front of her, tiny cracks that she’s not able to prevent, but that also might just be a commentary on her sanity at this point and—

She’s holding her breath.

Letting it out in a huff she tries very hard to make quiet, Emma knows she fails. Spectacularly. Another sweeping commentary.

“Unparalleled observational skills,” Killian says. With a smile. Smirk, probably. Emma still doesn’t bother looking, can hear the inflection in his voice and already knows how forced the even tone is. Seeing the inevitable arch of his eyebrow will only make it worse.

“Get me in a crow’s nest or something.” “What do you know about crow’s nests?” She shrugs, fingers still moving and the buzzing under her skin hasn’t ebbed much since she started, but there was something almost oddly peaceful about the pattern of Killian’s breathing when he was asleep.

In and out. Over and over. Simple and easy and consistent. Steady, even. Something about the tides or another nautical joke Emma isn’t willing to make.

The mattress creaks again.

As do the floorboards.

And she doesn’t shudder when his hand lands on her shoulder. She doesn’t stop this twisted arts and crafts project, either. She leans back, though — another passing victory and momentary return to normal, relishing the solid feel of his chest behind her.

Killian takes a deep breath.

“How long have I been asleep?” “Not long,” Emma replies, and one of the muscles in her neck isn’t all that appreciative of the current twist it’s in. She doesn’t move, feels as if it’d be admitting to something far bigger and she can’t imagine how he’s still so warm.

Like magic.

Not at all like magic. At least not the kind she’s used to now.

“Awfully vague,” he mutters. Accusation doesn’t particularly hang from the letters, but Emma hears it all the same. Can see it in the way Killian’s fingers tighten ever so slightly, like he’s trying to hold onto more than just her and her tension-filled shoulder blades, and he’d never unbuckled his sword.

Or taken his hook off.

He always took his hook off. Before. When they were—

Safe, Emma supposes. Emma supposes they aren’t that anymore.

“There was no point in you staying up just so you could stare at me with those sad puppy dog eyes and all of that palpable concern.” His fingers loosen. For the best, probably. Since it appears the laces of Emma’s latest Camelot-provided gown, which she hasn’t bothered taking off, are tightening. Enough to threaten several of her internal organs.

Laughter echoes softly around them.

Her.

Only her.

Reaching for another string that she’s only a little worried she’ll snap before she can use, Emma barely moves her arm before there’s metal around her wrist, and anger runs red-hot down her spine. She snaps her head around quickly enough to do damage to several other neck muscles, but Killian hardly flinches at her expression.

He lifts both eyebrows, instead.

So, there’s something to be said for a change of pace.

“We’ve a variety of things we can talk about,” Killian says, more forced lightness that grates on every one of Emma’s nerves, “Although I’ll admit I’m always partial to discussing the fascinating colloquialisms you’re in possession of.” “Can I possess the language?” “The knowledge of it’s—what’s the word? Slang?” Emma rolls her eyes. “That, at least.” “Oh, yeah, I'm the smartest person around.” “In this realm, certainly.”

Emma snorts, not any real humor in the sound, but her lungs work a hint better once Killian pulls his hook away from her. Licking her lips, she spins and neither one of them mention how close she comes to kicking him in a variety of potentially painful locations when she tugs her legs towards her chest.

His lips twitch as soon as she rests her chin on her knees.

There’s an absurd amount of fabric involved in this dress.

“What do a dog’s eyes have to do with the overall force of my worry?” Killian asks, and it’s not exactly funny. Just like whatever noise Emma makes isn’t exactly a laugh. Not when it scratches at the sides of her throat, and the tip of her tongue and honestly screw Camelot.

No ChapStick in other realms.

She keeps twisting her lower lip between her teeth.

“You shouldn't have let me fall asleep.” Her current eye roll rate is going to give Emma a migraine. Maybe Dark Ones can’t get migraines. That’d be something at least. “There really wasn’t any reason for you to be awake,” Emma says. “And I—” Killian tilts his head when she cuts herself off, something stupid like open book and knowing her and they might both be horrible liars. “I know you’re worried.” “Seems a given in this situation, don’t you think?” Another shrug. No eye roll, though. Small victories and whatnot.

And Killian has to readjust his sword to crouch in front of her. Emma very nearly laughs again. Or cries. She’s having trouble distinguishing emotions at this point.

God, but she’s exhausted.

Metal finds her wrist again, cool on her skin, but Emma’s mind barely has a chance to recognize temperature before she’s wholly preoccupied with Killian’s ability to cover both her hands with one of his. It opens up some fairly romantic ideas, all of them fluttering around her skull and under that same magic-prone skin, a slightly different energy that makes her feel light and heavy and—

Her neck gives up.

Leaves her head falling forward and crashing against Killian’s and he still doesn’t flinch. Even as he exhales again, air brushing Emma’s cheeks and the edges of her lips and she could come up with several better ways to use those lips. Something stops her.

Quite possibly the laughter.

That only she can hear.

“You’ll give yourself a coronary.” “Sounds unpleasant.” Emma doesn’t smile. Quite honestly, she’s not sure the muscles in her face are capable of doing that anymore. Still, something in the center of her flutters traitorously at what might be the most twisted instance of flirting they’ve had in their relationship.

Although there was that sword fight. And handcuffing him to the hospital bed. And him unlocking himself from the hospital bed. The Jello thing, too.

Emma figures that all counts as pre-relationship.

“I can’t imagine it would be,” she agrees. “But, uh—” “—Oh, if you say what I think you’re about to say, I will be very frustrated.”

It’s her turn to lift her eyebrows. “Will you just?” “I understand why Regina asked you to do what she did,” Killian starts, and it’s not the last thing Emma expects to hear, but it’s at least somewhere at the bottom of a list she hasn’t made yet. “And I understand even better why you did it. I also—” “—God, how much is there?” He nips at her nose, more out of place flirting that soothes some of...her, really. “This is it, I promise. I understand what it would be to feel that sort of desperation for someone you love. To be terrified of what will happen if you don’t act. Don’t do whatever you can. To fix all of it.”

Her throat collapses.

Her lungs disappear.

And there’s no more disembodied laughter, but the silence that stretches in the minimal space between them is almost worse, thick with unspoken meaning and heavy-handed allusions and Emma’s fingers are moving again. Before she’s entirely rationalized it. Brushing away strands of hair that’s almost getting too long, Killian’s eyes flutter closed at her touch.

“That’s not your job,” Emma whispers.

“Isn’t it, though?” “Falling asleep is not a failure, babe.” He scoffs, a quick click of his teeth and Emma hasn’t moved her fingers. He leans into her hand. “And yet here we are. At an impasse, of sorts.” “I thought we were having a conversation.”

“Not a very focused one.” “Ah, well you’re tired.” “And you’re a very good distraction,” Killian argues, not the insult Emma briefly hears it as. Even so, something almost like fear ripples across her skin. Latches onto the base of her skull and whatever neurons are clearly unstable and irrational and it only takes him a few moments to realize his mistake.

“I know that’s not what you meant.” He hums, nosing at the inside of her wrist. “What are these things you’re making, exactly?” “Dreamcatchers.” “Sounds nefarious.” “No, no, the opposite, actually. Legend said—well, God, it’s kind of shitty that I’m making them, actually. But, um...they’re supposed to keep nightmares away.” “Is it working?” “I’m not the one asleep,” Emma points out. “And repeating my question seems redundant.” Sticking her tongue out is quite possibly the least mature thing Emma could possibly do — particularly when she’s at least seventy-two percent positive the churning in her stomach is actually magic, but she does it all the same. If only to ensure that Killian’s lips move again.

She might be staring at his lips.

Might be is another very bad lie.

“Now you’re just trying to make me swoon with your own knowledge of the language,” she mumbles. “How’s it working?” “Better than it should.”

His lips move. Directly towards hers. Only to deviate at the last possible second, and Emma isn’t totally disappointed by that. Killian kisses the edge of her mouth. The curve of her chin. The bridge of her nose. Directly between her very pinched eyebrows.

“You know, I thought you were dead.” Strictly speaking, Emma has no idea where that particular string of words came from. The depths of her soul, probably. Some dark — or darker — corner where that very specific terror lingers. The way she swore her heart stopped, and breathing was secondary and part of her might resent him.

For making a joke of it.

“That wasn’t a real reality, love,” Killian breathes, and Emma can’t imagine how his knees are dealing with any of this. He’s ancient, he can’t have the best joints. In this realm or any other.

“Still happened, though.” “Aye, it did. And I’d—” “—Nope,” Emma interrupts, lips popping on the word like that will turn it into some kind of decree. Technically, she’s a princess. It should work like that. “I absolutely do not care. At all. Like, at all. I stood there and watched you die and—” Crying is apparently something she’s not capable of doing anymore either, and that’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to her, but it does leave her blinking faster than she’d like and she’ll have to come up with another colloquialism for the look on Killian’s face.

Abject devotion seems a little over the top.

“This is my fault.” Killian blinks. More than once. “How the hell did you get to that conclusion?” “You died, babe. I—I stood there and watched, and it was...it was you, but it wasn’t you and it didn’t even matter because it’s always been you and—” She’s rambling. Words spill out of Emma without her explicit permission, which seems kind of unfair all things considered. Nearly absolute power should allow her to be a better conversationalist than this.

The more things change, or whatever the saying is.

“The point is, we found Regina after that. Henry and I and...she wasn’t going to do anything. Was going to let Robin marry Zelena. But I—well, I told her that I’d just—” He doesn’t look away from her. Emma isn’t sure if that’s good or bad, far too much blue in his gaze even as the candles around them burn to the base of their wicks. She licks her lips again. Still chapped. “I told her that love was a part of all happiness. That...that she had to fight for it because I’d just—” “—Watched me die?” “Not as much fun when you interrupt me.” He makes a noise, a low rumble that tickles Emma’s cheek. “Apologies, my lady.” “You think you’re very clever.” “I think you’re the most incredible lass—” “—Oh, call me lass one more time and see how that works out for you.” “It’s a compliment,” Killian mutters, almost entirely into her skin and the few strands of hair that have come loose. “And you’re being rather distracting again.”

“Still waiting on the compliment parts of this, honestly.” He finally stands up, both of his knees cracking in the process. And Emma hardly opens her mouth to make some sort of misplaced joke about that before Killian is shaking his head and tugging her out of her chair and they don’t lay down on Camelot’s noisiest mattress.

They sit on the edge. Thighs pressed together and Emma’s fingers gripping his hook like some kind of lifeline, which it very well may be because they should have talked about this before, but there wasn’t time before and— “I love you.” Full-body shock, Emma finds rather quickly, is not nearly as uncomfortable as she assumed it would be. She’s imagined this going a lot of ways, loathe as she may be to ever admit such a thing. Most of the time they’re tangled in very soft sheets, or tucked into the questionably comfortable cot in the captain’s quarters of the Jolly, his fingers in her hair and that one specific smile that she’s only ever seen directed at her.

Not once has she imagined it like this.

Stuck in a different realm with a king that does not live up to the legend and something about the air in Camelot reminds Emma of Boston Harbor in the summer.

Salty and a little stale.

Her mouth goes dry and her pulse noticeably slows, turning her head to gape at him. That’s not romantic. That’s insane. This whole thing is absolutely and entirely insane and she can’t quite come to terms with the precise way he glances up at her.

From underneath those stupid eyelashes, that are both kind of dreamy and even more offensive and Emma doesn’t object when he pulls both her hands up. So he can kiss the bend of her knuckles. Like some goddamn pirate prince.

That helps a little bit, actually.

“What?” “I love you,” Killian repeats. “In a variety of different realities, it seems.” “No.” “No?” “No,” Emma echoes, resisting the very real urge to jump up and start pacing. Possibly cast a few spells. That’s the crux of her problem, though. So she does the only reasonable thing. Stays frustrating still and yells at her boyfriend.

Who doesn’t seem all that put out by this turn of events.

“Where do you think I should start?” “I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about,” Emma admits with a snarl. “I...there is no way that deckhand version—” “—Oh, that’s also a little insulting.” “You’re telling me that you were in love with me in a fake reality?” Killian shrugs. It’s absurd as when Emma did it. “I’d hardly die for anyone, darling.” “Really way too confident in your ability to—” “—Ensure swooning?” “I will kick you,” Emma warns, but the sentiment lacks any real threat and she’d like to hear him say it several times over again. The I love you part, not necessarily guarantees of swooning.

“Please don’t do that.” “I’d have to stand up.” “Aye,” Killian laughs, “that is true. Although we are deviating just a tad now.” “From?” “How much I understand.” “Overblown confidence.” Tangling their fingers together doesn’t do much to help the state of Emma’s shoulders, but Killian’s hand is so warm and he’s so warm and, shoulder notwithstanding, every inch of Emma wants to curl against him and close her eyes and let him proclaim every ridiculous thought that has ever crossed his mind.

Regarding her. Specifically. And them. Collectively.

“An appropriate amount of confidence,” he corrects. “In regards to you, at least. Because it wasn’t the right reality, but...finding you, believing Henry, knowing that you could save all of us, that made sense to me. In a world where not much else did. That’s been the case from the very start, in fact.” She doesn’t reply. Knows she should, should say something else that proclaims a whole variety of things Emma isn’t sure she can follow through on, but her mind has already started to drift, eyes moving back towards the window and the dreamcatchers there and—

“Don’t you know, Emma? It’s you.”

“Happily ever after,” she sighs.

Killian squeezes her fingers. “A work in progress. But the fact remains that I am wholly,” he kisses the back of her palm, “irrevocably,” the side of her wrist, “completely,” her tattoo, “in love with you. And if you are going to believe anything, then I need you to believe that.” “Need?” “With my entire heart, Swan.” “Oh, that was good, actually.” He doesn’t pull away from her hand. Just looks back up at her, and Emma isn’t sure if she’s blushing or simply burning from the inside out, but both options seem feasible at this point. “She was desperate here because I told her she should be,” Emma says, “Regina, I mean.” “That wasn’t your fault. Love has a tendency to—” “—Make you desperate.” “And that wasn’t a question.” Emma makes a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat, more scratches and marks that she knows are far more metaphorical than literal and she should probably say something back. To Killian. About loving him.

Saying it under duress likely doesn’t count.

She meant it, though. And in the alternate reality. And every time she thought it before that.

She’s thought about it quite a bit.

“Suppose it didn’t have to be,” Killian muses, dropping his head to press a kiss against Emma’s neck. No goosebumps, that time. “I’m sorry that you didn’t know before.” “Ah, I kind of did.” “Still. It’s—” Pulling back is also at the bottom of that list Emma hasn’t made, but it isn’t often that she hears him quite so tongue-tied and there’s something oddly endearing about the red at the tips of his ears. “It’s something you should hear, as often as possible.”

“You’re on a roll.” “I’m serious.” “I know,” Emma nods, “and I—you know, for like a solid half second I was totally pissed at you when you showed up in the loft.” “What? Why?” “Making jokes.” To his credit, Killian does look more than a little scandalized. Wide eyes meet Emma’s, and his skin is paler than it was a few seconds before, but that might also have to do with the candles and their inability to burn for an entire night.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “I can only tell you I know so many times before it starts getting annoying, I just—I’m not entirely sure what I would have done if it was true. Torn the world apart, probably.” She’s not surprised by the sincerity in her voice. Conviction and another promise that seems to rattle the windows and Emma’s bones in equal measure. Killian’s eyes don’t return to their proper size.

“If you’re not careful, Your Highness,” he says, “I'll be the one swooning soon.” He catches her before she can swat at his chest.

“Idiot.” “Less so now, maybe. But I understand the sentiment. When you were—Gods, it’s entirely unfair to do it like this, isn’t it?”

“This?” He rolls his eyes that time. Emma appreciates the symmetry. “Despite assurances otherwise, I’m not a fool, Swan. I knew you wanted to say something in your parent’s loft and I remembered some of that alternate reality. But then, as always, another disaster. Another problem. Another reason for you to sacrifice yourself. And then words I’d waited to hear for far longer than I’d care to admit, but you were gone and it was—” Killian grits his teeth, a muscle jumping in his jaw, and Emma is an idiot. The biggest idiot. Supreme idiot. She should have realized. “Like a nightmare come true,” he breathes. “Staring at the spot where you were, like I could will you back. Like I could tell you how I loved you more than anything else. No matter what else would happen.”

Lunge is not the best word, but at some point Emma lost any previous control she had over the English language and she’s far too busy relishing Killian’s gasp of surprise when her mouth all but slams against his to be worried about anything else.

She tilts her head. Closes her eyes. Forgets to breathe. Emma forces herself into this moment and this feeling, lets it wrap around her and sink under her skin until it times up with the beat of her pulse and—

The magic in her veins shifts. Rushing from the top of her head to the back of her heels, the kind of power that leaves her dizzy and overwhelmed and greedy for more.

Killian’s tongue traces the seam of her lips.

“They don’t want my help.” “With?” Killian asks, not bothering to pull away from her. Emma’s grip on the back of his hair probably doesn’t help much. “Getting Merlin out of the fucking tree.” “Ah.” “Sound more surprised next time. Have they been talking to you about this?” “Not as such, no. It does not appear that I am part of the inner-Camelot circle.” “Is there one?” “Eh,” he grunts. Disentangling their limbs isn’t all that easy, but it does end with Emma flush against Killian’s side and she supposes beggars can’t be magical choosers. “It seems as if your father is rather taken with having another royal in his midst. Can’t have a notorious pirate captain join them on their perilous quest.” “And how exactly does this notorious pirate captain know about such a quest?”

Suggesting that his eyes actually sparkle at her is entirely absurd and inherently fairy tale, and Emma could not begin to care less.

She can’t hear anything but Killian’s answering laugh. “I’m afraid that’s a rather closely guarded secret, my love.” “Oh, that’s absolutely—” Emma nearly bites her tongue in half. Because it’s not a huge change. Might not even be a change at all, but she latches onto it all the same and the ends of Killian’s lips quirk up. She’s got to find something else to stare at. “Is it super selfish to be glad you’re not going on some perilous quest?”

He shakes his head. It makes the ends of his hair shift, threatening to brush over eyebrows that are far too expressive. “Possibly, but I also can’t help to be anything except glad that you aren’t using more of your magic. I suppose we’re on even ground.” “Not the worst ground to be on.” “No,” Killian agrees, and that’s a strange way to do that. “It’s not. Let Her Majesty work out Merlin’s riddle, she’s got Belle doing research. That’s more help than she deserves.” “High praise. Just,” Emma huffs, “I hate sitting here. There’s too much—” “—Magic?” “Sounds shitty like that.” “Sounds understandable like that. And while I understand what Regina asked of you at the ball, using that power is dangerous.” “I know that,” Emma sneers.

Killian still doesn’t flinch. “I’m not suggesting otherwise, all I’m saying is that we are all here to help, Swan. Some more than others.” “You?” It’s another memory. Another moment her mind has conjured up, a string that connects her to the past and the present and his goddamn eyebrows, Killian staring at her with something that feels like longing and even more like—

Dedication, maybe. Love, definitely.

Emma’s not sure she’s ever been looked at like that.

It’s the worst lie she’s told herself yet.

“Me,” Killian says, and there’s no room for doubt between either one of the letters. “How’d you learn to make the dreamcatchers?” “There was no magic involved if that’s what you’re getting at.” “I wasn’t, in fact.” “No?” He shakes his head. Kisses her forehead. “No.”

And Emma doesn’t deflate, so much as she sags against him. Some of the fight leaves her, pleasantly surprised to find that it also doesn’t leave her feeling hollow. Rather like there’s space for something new there, possibility and potential and her fingers curl themselves into the charms hanging over his shirt.

Another metaphorical anchor and cool metal, helping to temper the myriad of emotions twisting between her ribs.

“I didn’t really learn,” she admits, “just kind of remade them from memory and the supplies Guinevere agreed to give me. Should have seen the first one, it looked like garbage.” Chuckling into her hair, Killian’s hand dances across Emma’s back, grazing the laces she’d almost forgotten about. “You think we’ll ever get to go to a ball on our own terms?” “You mean without time travel or Arthur the worthless king involved?” “It’s a good name.”

“You flatter me,” Killian grins, and Emma doesn’t double check that time either. It’s easy to hear. “And I certainly hope so. I have quite a number of thoughts about you and gowns.” “That so? How many thoughts are we talking?” “Vast.” “That’s not very specific. And I don’t know, babe. As nice as the dancing is, getting dressed for balls is kind of overrated. Half a dozen lady’s maids showed up to tie the laces for me and my mom and then they came back to stuff a gazillion pins into my hair.” “Gazillion also sounds rather vast.” Emma’s eye roll gets her yet another smirk, so she figures that’s a fair trade even if there does end up being a migraine involved eventually. “Did you not think about magic’ing the laces loose?” He says it soft enough that Emma can barely hear him — half concern and even more trepidation, crossing a line that hadn’t been there before and shouldn’t remain there now and she shakes her head. “Didn’t even consider it, honestly. Just kinda resigned myself to a crushed spleen, I guess.”

“Sounds painful.”

The metaphors are stupid now. They should go back to declarations and unfounded promises that Emma wants desperately and she’s not entirely prepared for the first tap of Killian’s finger.

Or for him to mutter, “Turn around for me, love.”

She does. Despite the confusion and the flutter of butterfly wings that have suddenly appeared in her stomach, Emma does as instructed. Something — someone — chafes at that, hackles rising and defenses lifting, and her nails dig deep enough into her palm that they leave tiny crescent shaped marks in their wake.

“No need to get anyone else to help,” Killian says, “when I’m perfectly capable.” Emma must nod. Her neck moves, so that must mean she nods. Speaking however, seems impossible at the moment. When her tongue is taking up too much space in her mouth and the butterflies are threatening to surge out of her and it really is easier to breathe when the laces aren’t quite that tight.

Killian makes quick work of it all. At least Emma assumes, still twisted away from him and staring at the mess she’d left on the desk. She’s not sure why there’s a desk in this room.

“Should I be jealous of your talents in this particular area?” He laughs, kissing the side of her neck again. “Part of me finds that very appealing, actually.” “Which part is that?” “The bastard who wouldn’t mind you claiming me entirely as your own.” “Not into that possessive kind of stuff.” “Ah, it wouldn’t be much of a fight,” Killian argues, and Emma’s breath shudders out of her. In a distinctly swoon-like manner. “I think I’d rather willingly surrender.”

“You’re avoiding the question.” “Aye, I suppose I am.” He kisses her again. Emma hopes it helps. “Milah used to—she had these outfits. Full of laces and buckles and there weren’t any lady’s maids on board the Jolly. It became something of a routine. Dressing in the morning, getting on deck, picking a heading. Anywhere and everywhere, right at the tips of our fingers. But it was a bit easier, then.” Emma’s muscles are never going to recover from this conversation. She turns anyway, straining her neck to meet his gaze and barely-there smile and it doesn’t take her long to figure that out either. “You’re resourceful,” she says, “I bet you’d even be able to figure out how to lace me back up.” “Suggests you’ll be here in the morning.” “Quite a royal scandal, sharing a boudoir with a notorious pirate captain.”

Killian’s smile stretches. Not by much, but enough and, for now, that’s enough. “I love you.”

He’s waiting, Emma can tell. For the response. The answer. The words that she swears are going to snap her tongue in half, weighing it down as they are.

She doesn’t say anything.

Pulling in a deep breath, she moves her hands instead and shimmies until the gown she only sort of likes pools around her waist, leaving her in nothing but a slip. And magic, the kind that hangs in the shadows and festers in the corners of her soul.

Emma wraps her fingers around the brace at Killian’s arms. Buckles and leather, some of it a slightly different color than the rest from years of use and magic of a different kind and she’s only a little worried she’s inadvertently frozen him there.

Until his eyes shift, tracing over her face with that same reverence that she’s come to covet in the exact possessive way she’d always wanted to avoid.

Bastard, indeed.

“Your turn,” Emma says, and her voice doesn’t crack. Another victory.

Killian doesn’t object either. Lets her flick and flip and tug, as lightly as she possibly can, twisting the hook off eventually. That last part seems like overkill, but Emma’s always enjoyed the way it clicks off — almost as if she’s flipping a switch on some other part of her, giving into the vulnerability she can see in Killian’s eyes and she’s going to fix all of this. If only to avoid her melodramatic commentary.

“Come on,” she mumbles, tugging him down next to her as she shoves off the rest of her gown. These sheets aren’t as soft, unfamiliar when Emma pulls them over both of them, but Killian’s arm curls around her waist all the same and her cheek always fits very well against the crook of his neck.

He flinches. “What? That’s—are you—” “Fine,” Killian cuts in. “Just tickles, is all. When you exhale so dramatically.” “God.” “Close your eyes, love.” “I’m not going to—” “—I know, but you can still stay here. With me.” There’s more to those words too. Fraught with hope and even more want, and Emma can’t ever remember wanting this as badly as she does now. So she doesn’t move. She doesn’t close her eyes, either. But she stays still, listens to the steady in and out of Killian’s breathing and—

Laughter.

Creeping across the floor and inching up the stone walls, circling either one of Emma’s ankles until it slams into her chest and takes root. She shifts — not quickly, but determined, careful not to wake Killian as she avoids the other face she knows is hidden just out of sight.

Magic makes her fingers itch. Makes her skin crawl. Anticipation clings to each of her vertebrae.

With her gown still on the floor, and a pirate she knows would tear the world apart for her still asleep, she sits back down at the table and starts again, anxious to catch the nightmares before they can linger for too long.

#cs ff #captain swan #cs fic #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #laura writes canon #this is all devon's fault so blame her for any and all angst #i also refuse to accept any blame for timeline inconsistencies #we write what we want and what we want is characters to acknowledge their trauma

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firebunnylover · 4 years ago

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LoSH S2 discussion

I love Legion of Superheroes. And i love season 2, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about how it could have been improved. In terms of quality, it varies more than season 1. Some parts are top tier while others… eh.

Season 2 is darker than season 1. And there’s the inherent stigmatism that darker means better. But it’s not true.

A horror schlock film is not inherently better than an animated film.

I don’t blame the staff on all its shortcomings. Kids WB was on its deathbed, so they probably had less time to work and iron out ideas. And executive meddling.

The second season had a lot of good elements, but there are things that weighed it down. I am here to discuss how to improve said things.

Heads up: ended up editing part of this post after rewatching the episodes.

This first bit is more of a personal preference, but instead of the 41st century, maybe move the original source of conflict to a farther region of space, one that the UP doesn’t interact with, and has been growing in terms of turmoil until they finally resort to bringing the Legion over. In other words, it has just been put aside by everyone else to the last minute.

Parallel to Brainy’s relationship to Brainiac. He doesn’t want to deal with it. He never brings it up. But maybe if he did, he wouldn’t have gotten corrupted.

This place still has plenty of old documentation of the original age of superman, so Kell is disillusioned with the ideal glory days. Keep Kell Edgy.

Kell’s home and K3NT still gets destroyed - reflects Krypton’s own destruction.

SPEAKING OF KELL:

Make his story more apparent that it’s one realizing that kindness is not an inherent weakness. And neither is being soft. He was raised for fighting and killing Imperiex, and was taught to think that they were weaknesses. Have him realize his identity can be beyond the Clone of Superman made to kill Imperiex. Or rather, have him react more to realizing that he’s moving beyond his given identity.

To clarify; they do address his development in the show a few times, but I want more continuous development instead of the rapid nods we get. Have him try to interact in a more humane way with others. Especially with other members of the Legion. Where they have to take a double take in seeing him acting not that edgy. Maybe offer more flashback of him fighting Imperiex in comparison, and how he treated allies then.

Also put K3NT’s story under the microscope. I doubt Imperiex just came out of nowhere with his attacks. Plus the fact they went far enough to send a hitman after a fucking child? That screams yikes and maybe we need to double check the story.

And an overall issue to be addressed is what rights do robots have and what conditions need to be met? Because let’s face it, we make robots to do complex work for us. But Colu is a culture where the main people ARE robots. Like in Transformers. What line do we draw between non-sentient robots vs the sentient ones in the 31st century? And what about cyborgs/people who give up their original bodies for robotic ones?

Plus Imperiex himself came to be because of the perfected combination of organic tissue and robotics. This topic of robots and individuality/personhood could have been a fun topic to explore.

Don’t sideline the girls. Leave TG alone.

Don’t put SG in a coma for nearly the whole season - seriously it’s the reason why the guys make one bad decision after the other. Although with that said, it’s because she’s not around we got the majority of s2 plots. She’s the goddamn mom of the squad. Just make her busier and unable to keep an eye on her idiot boys for the plots based on bad decisions to happen.

Or have her deal with after-effects of what Esper did to her. Maybe after a whole season of being the emotional support character, have her be the one in need of emotional support or not being able to help directly, especially when the group needs emotional support. Emotional support paradox.

Maybe don’t make Cosmic Boy appear as much as a dick in the episodes where he does show up. He’s trying to hold this goddamn team together, and there’s a goddamn tyrant trying to conquer the galaxy. HE’S FUCKING TIRED AND STRESSED. AND IM SURE THERE ARE A BUNCH OF JERKS WHO WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT TO DISSOLVE THE LEGION. Better yet, throw in some more backstory with him and his little brother Pol!

And in regards to Imperiex… The dude has a lot of potential. I like his voice actor, Phil Morris. The guy voiced Dr. Sweets from Atlantis.

But his writing needs help.

In the original DC comics, he’s the embodiment of Entropy. Anyone who’s seen Madoka is probably familiar with what that is. But if you're not, here’s a definition: “ the measure of a system’s thermal energy per unit temperature that is unavailable for doing useful work...” He’s the embodiment of that energy that cannot be used for anything. And Entropy grows over time.

Another definition of what Entropy is “lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder.”

In the comics, he’s more of a cosmic being as a result of him being an embodiment of unusable energy. He’s been in existence since, well, the beginning. He had destroyed the universe and recreated it multiple times. Okay, so that lines up with how the show portrays him. And technically, he does get the universe to reset itself in the 41st century when he alters the 31st century enough.

But I personally feel that making him a cosmic being is kinda… meh?

I personally prefer more personal villains most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, an Eldritch being done right makes a great character, but I can’t see Imperiex as one. At least not LoSH’s version.

Plus I like it when the protagonist sees the villain has a point and has changed as a result for the better.

You know, over a year ago, I used to think that it was impossible to make a tyrannical villain who’s presented as real evil seem complex.

And then… I was introduced to TFP Megatron.

Now for you LoSH fans who haven’t watched Transformers Prime, Megatron was once Megatronus. A low caste member who worked in the mines and Gladiator games. He wanted to fix the growing corruption of Cybertron. To make things better.

But his worse personality traits took over, and he lost that good motivation. Now he’s just fighting to win and defeat Optimus Prime.

But despite the change of goals and ideals, he doesn’t want to simply abandon his relationship with Optimus. He and Optimus, or as he used to be called, Orion, were fighting for the betterment of society. And they meant something to each other. Megatron doesn’t want to just get it over with. He wants fanfare for his victory over Optimus. And he doesn’t want anyone else to rob him off that. But he isn’t opposed to getting Optimus/Orion back on his side. It’s because of this you can still argue that there is a remaining shred of good in him.

They were the best young lovers anD NO I AM NOT CRYING OVER THEM!

Also, the fact we know he was part of a minority group in the form of the lower cast that was enslaved can make us sympathize with Megatronus of the past, as well as understand how he came to be.

It doesn’t mean we forgive him for his actions - and he has done a lot of shitty things. And I mean a lot.

But his history is more understandable. TFP Megatron’s a fall from grace.

OK I’m done dissecting TFP Meg’s writing.

We know Imperiex was a slave, and was originally organic, who’s from a society where his purpose is literally just to fight, and was gradually stripped of his original body. He was originally stripped of any agency before then though.

But he says this was a good thing. Calling his original body a weakness. And refers to his old self as a pathetic slave.

He gave up whatever softness he had.

Also, this is where K3NT’s story needs to be reexamined. Imperiex was made during what K3NT described as “A Time of Extended Prosperity”. That time had freaking slaves. And K3NT says that when Imperiex did rise up, they were unprepared. So… they were prosperous, but lacked defense to prevent anything like that happening? Or perhaps those who were in charge were that unpopular that it was easy for Imperiex to start the war.

What made him decide conquering the galaxy was the next thing to do after he had every bit of his original self stripped away? Why go as far as destroy it?

What I’m trying to say is that they could borrow a few pages from the Megatron book. Maybe he was once trying to better the society he was part of, but he decides to play the violent card at some point. And somewhere along that strategy, he starts to lose sight of the initial goal. With that, being the victor and in control becomes the main one.

Or perhaps he has grown cynical of the galaxy as it is and decides it just needs to go all together, and then start from scratch.

Like the second definition of Entropy, he gradually declines in predictability and descends into disorder.

Maybe to juxtaposition the fact that Brainiac became the main threat at the end, make him the opposite or foil to him. Rationality or logic do not serve as first-or-second influences to decisions under pressure. Emotions and his own perceived ideas do.

Speaking of Brainiac, maybe offer more of the OG Brainiac. Give us more of that smooth-voiced Corey Burton.

Or TFA Megatron.

Seductive Bastard.

I’m sorry I have fallen for the shady-business-mafia-boss-but-morally-grey robot.

Also, the members of the legion that only get one episode focus? Give them more screen time. You can’t just introduce superman’s new adopted son Karate Kid and just not bring him for another speaking role again!

Actually, that brings me to another point.

As @spandexinspace pointed out, his episode is not the best, and is arguably the worst written of the whole series. Things that are issues do get brushed off to the side.

So a proposal on potential rewrite:

First, have the legion look over its current rules and what exceptions/changes they need to make.

Explore the subject of kids having to participate in these fights.

To clarify, kid shows are meant to be escapism for kids.

Shocking, I know.

So it makes sense that some characters would be the same age as the viewers.

But while this is good representation, as you get older, you find yourself going “WHY WOULD THE ADULTS LET THEM ENDANGER THEMSELVES?!”

Kids having to fight at that age does have consequences. Batman Beyond certainly addressed it. So did Steven Universe Future.

Steven ended up being responsible for so much, that when he no longer needed to take care of things, he was unsure of who he was. And then there’s the fact he ended up with PTSD because of him having to fight so much. Then you have the fact that Greg and Rose never intended to raise him like their caretakers did... but as good as their intentions were, they still caused damage. Rose for… all the gem stuff. And look, Greg is a great dad, but not enforcing anything for Steven when he’s growing up still has it’s cost.

With Batman, he’s obviously going to do his damn best to keep kids safe, including the Robins. But sometimes, it’s not enough. He wasn’t able to keep Tim safe in the event with the Joker in Batman Beyond. Where he was held captive and tortured.

But the Batkids are never expected to resolve this stuff by themselves. Because Batman knows how much you can get screwed up as a kid. He fucking cares.

And to be fair, in most continuities I’m aware of, the other sidekicks came out pretty okay overall.

Except Jason Todd.

So my proposal?

Have Val originally with Grimbor, as a sort of Protege. But have the legion capture him, only to go “uhhh this is a child with no powers”. And Superman, being the good, wholesome paragon we all love, takes him under his wing.

In all honesty, I want Superman pulling a batdad for Karate Kid in his intro episode the whole time. That was the best part of the episode for me.

Plus after the events of “Cry Wolf”, the Legion should examine the no-killing rule. Because they do need to kill Imperiex to save the universe. But that goes against the code. But they can argue it’s a necessity. But Mar Londo is also a monster. He’s the everyday monster some of us have grown up with.

When do you need to make exceptions to kill someone?

And my final main suggestion:

Add more Mekt.

What the heck were you guys expecting? You all KNOW me by now. I LOVE MY GARBAGE BOY.

Joking aside, here’s what I would do.

Have the Chained Lightning episode pushed back, but have Mekt with Imperiex earlier. Most of us would yell “Why the heck would you join the guy whose main goal is to destroy the galaxy?!” But this is one of the easiest things to address.

Explore more of his past. Use the comic sources with him being outcast for being a solo on Winath. With that in mind, him deciding to side with Imperiex can make sense.

Why try protecting something that has done nothing but hurt you?

There’s actually a pretty good reason why he would side with Imperiex, as seen in Champions and Lightning Storm. Remember, Mekt was willing to cheat to get ahead of the sports competition he was introduced in. And also was thrilled when fighting Garth and was beating him on his own. He likes being in power.

Imperiex offers him that.

As for why Imperiex would bother with Mekt? That’s a little harder to answer. He knows that Mekt has a soft spot for his brother, and in turn sister, which proves to be the reason why the Tachyon Cannon fails. You’d think Imperiex would remove a huge fatality.

But he doesn’t.

Maybe he could hold another type of value for Mekt. Perhaps... nostalgia?

I’m still sold on the idea that they were sleeping together.

Also, give us a conclusive answer on where Mekt stands with the LSV. In the comics, he was the leader, but that role was given to Tyr in the cartoon more or less.

OK I think this has been polished enough for me to post now. What you guys think? Feel free to add on!

#legion of superheroes #legion of super heroes #losh #OH GOD I STARTED THIS IN SEPTEMBER #IT'S FINALLY DONE

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mcustorm · 4 years ago

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45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal.

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* - Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

youtube

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy.

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations!

#lgbtcinema #the way he looks #cmbyn #love simon #thanks for reading #thanks profusely to the gif-makers #i couldn't finish maurice...i'm so sorry #half of these are breaking glass or wolfe #argue with yo mama

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faulty-writes · 5 years ago

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Warning: A Few Swears, Mentions Of Blood, Mentions of Injuries.

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Dabi x Reader

[First part located here. Third part located here]

[Requested tag: @marydragneell]

[As requested, this is the second part of my Soulmate Sensations. Since your fateful meeting, you had been unable to feel Dabi. No pain, no nothing and it’s driving you mad. Aizawa kept to his word and kept his eye on you, but you had a promise you needed to keep and you were about to get desperate.]

Life /līf/

Noun:

the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual

You could hear the rain continue to echo off the rooftop of U.A., you were currently in the Development Studio. A piece of equipment laid before you on the table, but you hadn’t touched it since you entered the studio hours ago. You were currently sitting on your work stool, your eyes focused on your hands. Your fingers moved ever so slightly and the burn scars from Dabi were still imprinted on your skin, which at this point was almost a comfort. The thought of the villain caused your heart to sink, It was strange, how much you missed the pain. Despite having to deal with it for years, without it. You felt like nothing.

It just wasn’t fair! It had been a month, maybe more since the mission and Aizawa had kept his word. You could not volunteer for missions, no matter how small or big. You could only work in the Development Studio but your work itself had been shotty and everyone noticed your change in behavior. You were depressed, had a lack of motivation and overall you weren’t yourself. You played it off using stupid excuses like you were tired or simply preoccupied with your own thoughts.

It was strange how one person, how one villain could consume your mind. “Y/n!” you snapped out of your thoughts when you heard your name and turned your head to the doorway where Aizawa stood. Almost immediately you narrowed your eyes. “School hours are over, time to go.” you blinked before looking at the clock, how did it get that late already? If you were being honest, you had grown to have quite a dislike towards Aizawa since the day he decided to punish you. But regardless, you slid off your stool and walked past him.

It was no better at home, you felt empty and you continued to stare at your hands almost like they’d produce Dabi’s flames. “Ah damn it all!” you shouted as you sat on your couch, your hands curling into fists. You were beyond frustrated, everyone else got a happy ending but you, your ending was ruined because of Deku and you sighed. “No …” you said as you ran your hand through your hair. It wasn’t their fault, they didn’t know what was going on. You hadn’t told anyone about your soulmate calling and now it was too late to tell anyone without looking like a fool.

“What am I going to do?” with each day that passed you felt more hopeless and despite your best efforts in trying to track Dabi down yourself. You were at a loss, the League of Villains seemed quiet lately and the news proved to have no leads you could follow. You felt like a sitting duck, just what the hell were you supposed to do? Part of you wondered if Dabi was missing you too or if it was just a one-sided emotion. Well, it didn’t matter, either way, you made a promise and a hero you never went back on your promises.

But still, the question of how you’d go through with your promise was up in the air, Aizawa wouldn’t let you volunteer for missions but that didn’t mean you didn’t hear about them. The Hero Course students were constantly going on missions. But you hated the idea of waiting even longer than you already were. Though no other option was working, so did you really have a choice? Maybe that was the only solution, just listen and wait around for the Hero Course to talk about their missions and follow behind them if one sounded right? Usually, those who were selected for a mission met outside the gates of U.A. so it wasn’t too complicated.

You groaned and laid down on the sofa, your arm draped over your eyes. Your head was beginning to ache from the constant thoughts and you honestly hated yourself. Maybe it was best you told someone about what was happening, but who on Earth would be crazy enough to listen to you and do it without judgment? You paused, wait there was one person and you had class with her every day. “Would she really …” you spoke to yourself and slowly sat up, your feet tapping against the floor. It was a long shot, but it might just work.

You took a deep breath before falling back onto the couch, pulling a nearby blanket over you. Another sleepless night awaited you but at least when you did manage to sleep, you dreamed of Dabi so it was almost worth it. The next day at the Development Studio you cornered Mei, “EH!? You want me TO BUILD YOU SOMETHING!?” she screamed in your face, though you knew it was only out of excitement and not because she was angry with you. “Yes.” you watched her smile and she reached out to grab your shoulders, bringing her face closer to yours. “WHAT sort of BABY would you LIKE!?” you blinked, where the hell did she get all this energy from?

But still, she had helped you in the past and she was your best shot at getting all the precautions you needed. “I need another set of Hydraulic Bracers, uh sorry about what happened to them,” you said as your glance turned to the side, they had gotten pretty busted up in the aftermath of your small fight with Dabi. You were just thankful Mei wasn’t the vengeful type, in fact, she seemed overjoyed because she could redesign them. Still a small part of you felt guilty.

Pushing that feeling aside, you continued, “I would also need another pair of Hover Soles, preferably with the sensor this time.” Mei smiled and released your shoulders, “AH YES! I can make those for you easy!” she declared, her fists raised in the air. “Uh ...yeah,” you said before taking a step away. “I would also need some type of arm bracers that can produce enough pressure to deflect ...fire.” Mei paused, lowering her hands before looking at you from over her shoulder. Her eyebrow was raised and you knew she would probably ask questions.

You sighed, lowering your head. “Does this HAVE anything to do with the fact you’ve been ACTING so weird lately?” you blinked, a little surprised that even Mei noticed your change of behavior, usually she was too involved with her latest invention to notice the world around her. Your heart raced as you lifted your head, looking at her with a frown. Should you tell her? You weren’t sure where your life was going to go if you did this, more than likely you felt if you went after Dabi your life as a hero would be over.

But maybe that was for the best, it was clear you couldn’t get over Dabi and while you expected the way you felt to lessen as time went on, it only seemed to get worse. Others gave up their lives for the people they loved, couldn’t you do the same for your soulmate? Your heart and your brain were in constant battle but it seems they both longed for Dabi. A sigh escaped your lips, “Do you really want to know the story behind that?” you questioned and Mei looked at you with a curious expression before sitting down, patting the stool next to her.

You took a deep breath, “Here goes nothing.” you muttered to yourself before taking the seat and began to tell your story. You had expected Mei to be shocked, tell you it was a bad idea, refuse to make you those weapons but instead, she smiled. “So you want to find this Dabi pretty bad huh?” you nodded. “I see ...hm.” she leaned back, tapping her chin with one of her gloved fingers. “I thought you’d refuse to help me after you heard my story,” you confessed before Mei turned her head, those eyes of hers bright and her smile wide.

“NONSENSE!” she exclaimed as she waved you off, “Frankly, I don’t understand the idea of soulmates my only love is my BABIES, but!” she paused and leaned close to you, her finger pointed at your face. “If it’s meant to be and he’s your SO CALLED soulmate, I think I can understand the NEED to want to BE WITH HIM.” you glanced to the side, a nervous chuckle leaving your lips. But you felt a little relieved, at least someone was on your side. “Though one thing still CONCERNS me, however, I THINK I have FIGURED IT OUT.” she declared and leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You said you couldn’t FEEL him anymore correct?” your heart sank as you were yet again reminded of that, but nonetheless you nodded. “It is possible that ONCE you met him, your calling of sensation broke? Think about it, there are VARIOUS stories out there that claim once your soulmate is FOUND the ability you used to find them disappears. I think it’s because in MOST cases you’d well, have a happy ending.” your eyes widened, you hadn’t thought about that. But it would make sense. Despite having felt pain during your battle against Dabi, it wasn’t until after he kissed you that the sensation went away.

So was it that the physical affection he gave broke the connection? You weren’t sure, there were still so many unanswered questions but the only way they would be answered is if you found him again. You looked down, sighing. “Maybe ...but that’s why I need those items. Dabi’s quirk is fire and I narrowly escaped it last time.” the memories flashed in your mind while Mei placed her hands on her hips. “Well, a good designer can meet all the reckless, ignorant, and ill-advised demands of the client. I’ll make the items for you! BUT it might take ...a month, maybe more.” the hope you felt shattered when you heard those words.

“A month …” you repeated, your shoulders slumping again. Mei frowned at your display and reached over to lay her hand on your shoulder. “It’ll be worth it.” you knew she was trying to cheer you up but honestly, the thought of waiting was driving you mad. You sighed yet again, “Are you sure about that?” you questioned, looking back at her with uncertain eyes. She only nodded in response, “Besides I can tell you aren’t EXACTLY focused on your work right now. I know under NORMAL circumstances you could create these yourself.” you looked at her surprised and blushed.

“Well uh, you ...you were always better at this stuff than I was,” you confessed before glancing at your hands, “I thought my support course work was going to be the only thing I’d love but …” you trailed off and Mei smiled. “THAT’S OKAY! You don’t have to explain, I’ll start on those items for you,” she said as she walked over to her work table and pulled out a sheet of blue paper. You looked at her as she began to sketch, Mei certainly knew how to tug on your heartstrings. “Uh Mei …” you began, watching her pause and look over her shoulder.

“Uh, I just wanted to say thanks …” she chuckled and saluted you. “NO PROBLEM!” grinning she turned back to her work. You, however, continued to sit on the stool. For the past month, you had done nothing productive. Perhaps you’d be smarter this time, you reached up tapping your chin. “Hey Mei …” you said and once more watched her perk up and look at you. “Could you do me one more favor, I know I’m asking a lot,” you said knowing that you’d have to repay her after all of the shit you were dragging her through.

“What is it?” she questioned, her dreadlocks moving slightly as she tilted her head. Latching onto your bottom lip, you actually debated for a split moment about telling her. But you had already started so might as well finish. “Can you keep an ear out when you’re around the hero course students? I want to know what missions they have and if any of them will ...led me back to ...Dabi.” Mei looked surprised a moment, her eyes wide but her expression soon softened. “I see, I’ll try my best. I usually run into Deku once a day so I’ll keep my ears open and my eyes peeled.” you chuckled, feeling your heart flutter.

“Thank you Mei, I just ...I just really needed someone on my side,” you said, reaching up to brush a piece of your hair back. Mei nodded, “No problem, I GUESS it’s in the name of LOVE so.” you chuckled again, “I guess that’s one way to put it.” you said before sliding off the stool. Slowly walking to your work table where you picked up the gadget lying there. Twirling it in your hands, it was only half complete and you could see the inside of it. You looked around the workshop, this is where your journey first began and it seemed this is where your journey would end as well.

You looked back to the gadget, “This is going to be a long month.” you said before deciding to try and get some work done after all. You almost felt like an undercover agent as the days began to pass, Mei and yourself would work in the studio together. She would tell you all she knew about the hero course missions and you were beginning to lose hope, each mission she had heard about only sounded like the bottom of the barrel average everyday filler missions. You decided to do some snooping of your own and stood outside the teacher’s lounge, hoping to overhear something but Aizawa almost caught you.

So it was back to hearing reports from Mei. For a moment, you thought about falling back on your previous plan of trying to track Dabi down yourself. Maybe there was a step you missed? Damn, you knew it was hard but why did it seem like your life was going downhill ever since you met Dabi? It wasn’t his fault and maybe you only felt this way because for the first time in your life you were experiencing love for something other than your support work.

24 days passed and the small high you felt was declining, “What am I going to do …” you spoke to yourself as you walked through the halls of U.A, your destination, the Development Studio. Your fellow students looked at you as you passed them but you ignored their stares, you knew you probably looked exhausted, your mind somewhere else. Upon arriving at your destination, you walked through the door to see Mei and Midoriya talking to one another. “Yeah, the mission is going to be a little tough. But I’m ready, it’s time to stop the League of Villains before they steal more of those drugs.” you blinked, wait ...drugs?!

You watched Midoriya turn to you, “Oh,” he smiled and waved. “Hey y/n, I’m glad to see you’re doing better. It’s been about two months since our last mission,” he said as he approached you. “I hope you’re doing okay, uh I know Aizawa isn’t the nicest when it comes to punishments.” you felt that anger boil inside you at the mention of the teacher and nodded. “Yeah, it’s not exactly fair,” you muttered with your arms crossed and your glance to the side. You heard Midoriya chuckle, more than likely feeling awkward because of your response.

“Uh, yeah ...um sorry. But if it means anything, I think you did a wonderful job.” you wanted to roll your eyes, but you knew what happened wasn’t Midoriya’s fault. “Yeah, well thanks …” you trailed off and let the moment of silence take over, “Heh uh …” Midoriya reached up, rubbing the back of his head. “Well uh, I’ll see you later, thanks again Mei!” he said before running out of the studio. Your eyes followed him before turning back to Mei who had a huge smile on her face. “What was that about?” you questioned and heard her chuckle in response.

She placed her hand on her hip and pointed a finger at you. “Not SURE, but I think YOU finally found your break.” your eyes widened and you dropped your backpack onto the floor. “What do you mean?” she chuckled and tapped her cheek. “Midoriya was talking about the newest mission he signed up for, something about he needed a certain weapon for it but he mentioned drugs and I’m assuming the mission is not only related to the League of Villains but your previous one.” you felt your heart skip as Mei turned to fish something out of a cardboard box.

You stood there a moment before she turned back to you and in her hands was a brand new Hydraulic Bracer. Your jaw dropped and you looked at Mei with teary eyes. “I finished it LAST NIGHT, I’m hoping I can GET some sleep now. But I also have those Hover Soles you asked for!” she said as she approached you and unclasped the bracer. You felt a wave of happiness as she clasped you in, “Hm.” you pushed down on the bracer, it felt a little heavier than her previous one. But that was likely to make it more durable.

“NOW, let’s try them out,” Mei suggested as she held up a button which made you nervous and for a moment you prayed the device wouldn’t blow up. “What do you mean test-ah!” your sentence was cut short when a metal leg came out and made your world spin before you finally landed on the opposite side of the room. “Okay then …” you said before finally stabilizing your legs. “PERFECT. It works!” Mei said, patting herself on the back which you found both endearing and silly. But she was a master of her craft, so you couldn’t really blame her for being happy over the fact an invention worked. Especially considering most of them blew up.

“Now, let’s try the hover soles.” she insisted and your shoulders slumped. “Okay …” you said, a bit hesitant as you walked over and took your seat. Mei strapped them to your feet and the back of them ran up your legs which also meant there were straps securely tied to your calves. You took a breath and stood on your feet, Mei clicked the button once again. “Ah …” your arms waved back and forth as you were lifted a couple inches off the ground, trying to get a sense of balance but it was proving to be a difficult task and you ended up falling onto the floor sideways.

For a brief moment, you felt frustrated as you pushed yourself up, your feet still floating in the air before Mei disabled them. “Well ...THAT’S OKAY,” she said as if trying to cheer you up. “YOU just need PRACTICE! You can teach yourself quickly, my hover soles are easy to navigate once you get the hang of them.” she insisted as she held her hand out to help you up and though you were still frustrated, you took her hand and stood back on your feet. “Besides, I still need to make that compact FIRE DEFLECTION wrist braces for you. Shouldn’t take more than another two weeks,” she informed you before patting you on the back.

Yet more burden was placed upon your shoulders, just two more weeks. “Wait ...when is the mission Midoriya spoke about?” you questioned, a little concerned Mei wouldn’t be able to make your requested item on time. “OH THAT.” she chuckled and waved you off. “The students still need to prepare and make a plan for that, I’m sure Aizawa informed them that he doesn’t want any failures this time.” your eyes narrowed, more than likely he only said that because he blames you for being the cause of failure last time.

“Hm, I see …” you said, your eyes shifting to the side and Mei took note of your behavior. “I also have to finish the piece of equipment Midoriya requested, I will complete yours first and once that’s finished I will complete Midoriya’s and then …” she paused and you looked at her as she approached you, resting her hands on your shoulders. “We’ll make a plan so you can find Dabi again, I would suggest following the group. But we have to be SMART about it.” you had to admit, you thought about trailing behind the students but you knew that was too risky unless you did it the right way.

You took a breath, reaching up to clasp your hands over Mei’s. Taking a moment to look at her expression, she was the only person you could trust at this point. “I’m willing to exchange plans on that if you are,” you said before smiling, finally everything seemed to be falling into place. But there were still loose ends that you had to make sure were tied, you couldn’t risk giving up or failing at this point. Aizawa seemed to be your biggest enemy at the moment, but when it came right down to it. You’d be willing to fight even All Might if it meant you had a chance at seeing Dabi.

As you entered the beginning of a new month, despite feeling like you couldn’t wait any longer. Mei, as promised, finished your requested item, it strapped easily to your wrists and had large slots to produce air pressure that could hopefully defect Dabi’s flames enough for you to create a diversion. You tried to resume your normal life in school, having been able to complete a few requests of your own between your discussions with Mei. Though it was a long shot, she agreed she would tag along with you and trail behind the mission students from a safe distance.

She could easily track them with her quirk and she even suggested allowing a drone to keep sight from the sky in case she somehow lost track of the students. Part of you could hardly believe this was happening, you felt butterflies in your stomach. A small amount of doubt did cross your mind, but you knew that was silly. Even if your plan was compromised, you wouldn’t give up. This was something you needed to do, regardless if it ruined your career as a support hero. Maybe that was a chance you were willing to take, giving up your life for someone else’s.

Another few days passed before Mei informed you she had finished Midoriya’s new weapon and she had even gathered the intel about when and where the mission students were meeting. As per usual they would wait outside the school before departing to the location. Mei suggested waiting at the opposite end of the school building in order to give yourselves distance before following. You thought that was your best shot, you had trained enough with your new weapons to be able to handle your own.

The morning of the mission, you had gotten up early. Dressed in a skinsuit complete with a tunic that was similar to Suneater’s. You wore boots though they were covered by the hover soles, the hydraulic bracer was securely strapped around your waist as well as the air pressure stabilizers which strapped to your wrists and had wires that connected a small compressed air tank that was hidden beneath your tunic. You couldn’t describe the number of butterflies you were feeling as you looked at yourself in the mirror but your expression was serious. There was no going back now.

You met Mei outside the front gates of U.A. She was dressed in her U.A. uniform complete with her goggles. “Ah, there you are! COME ON, before they show up.” she insisted as she grabbed your arm and dragged you behind the school. “I SET UP a drone, I designed it to be as QUIET as possible.” she shared before taking out her phone, you hovered over her shoulder as she pressed a sequence of buttons which brought up a small screen that looked to be the video feedback from the drone. You blinked, “Are you sure this is going to work? They won’t spot it will they?” you questioned and Mei waved you off.

“This will work, shh. I think they are gathering.” the screen narrowed in on the group of students, you could clearly make out Midoriya, Togata, Amajiki, and Katsuki. You almost wanted to laugh, they thought you were the reason for failure last time so they replaced you with the ticking time bomb? You crossed your arms, pushing your own feelings aside as you continued to watch. You saw Aizawa come into frame, giving the heroes the rundown of the mission before they began to depart. Those butterflies only got worse as the minutes ticked by and you waited for Mei to confirm when you could begin to follow.

Though you couldn’t see ahead of you like Mei and her quirk, you trusted her as you walked. It seems hours had passed by and you were somewhere past Shizuoka, Japan. A location about two hours from Tokyo. Your feet would have ached if not for the aid of the hover soles you had, hovering was so much easier than walking. Once you had found out what location the heroes were headed for, you quickly learned it was an abandoned light factory. But then again, that would make sense, if the League of Villains was behind this they would pick a secluded location.

Mei insisted on waiting until the heroes got into their positions and until something happened, your eyes were getting tired of looking at the phone screen and it was getting dark. You yawned and Mei quickly silenced you, “Shh,” you blinked, “Why shh? What’s happening-” you had leaned over her shoulder to look when she clasped her hand over your mouth. You looked at her confused before your eyes caught the glint of headlights on the screen, “Hm?” you removed her hand and continued to watch, just like before it seemed the villains thought it was smart to arrive in an unnamed vehicle.

Your heart pounded with anticipation as you watched the doors open, your hands were clenched so tight you were surprised your bones didn’t break. “Please Dabi …” you whispered, he needed to be here. You held your breath as four men stepped out and sure enough, your heart skipped a beat when one of them was Dabi. He was wearing the same outfit as last time and his hands were in his pockets, his head was tilted towards the sky so you assumed he was either looking at the stars or saying something to his teammates.

“It’s him!” you squealed as you grasped onto Mei’s shoulders and while she laughed, she also tried to keep hold of her phone. “I have to go see him-” you were about to run off when Mei grabbed your arm and pulled you back, causing you to cry “Ah!” and stumble back. “You can’t go in now. YOU’LL expose yourself.” you frowned, you finally saw Dabi and you felt a strong urge to run to him but she was right. You couldn’t expose yourself yet, as much as you wanted to.

“W-What do you suggest?” you asked and Mei tapped her chin a moment. “Well, YOU could wait UNTIL CHAOS,” she emphasized the word chaos by throwing her arms up in the air, “unleashes and sneak into the midst of it, that’s the best strategy I CAN think of given the situation.” in addition to that with your costume, it was highly unlikely anyone would recognize you if you had your hood up and maybe Mei had a point, it would be hard to keep track of the number of people around if chaos was erupting.

“Mm …” you frowned, despite your heart pounding softly at the thought of seeing Dabi again. “How long do you think it’ll take for that to happen?” you asked and watched Mei lean back, her eyes glued to the screen. “I’d say right about now, considering Deku just threw the first punch.” you leaned over her shoulder, “WHAT?!” you exclaimed but sure enough there was Deku. That familiar lightning surrounding him and the unmarked vehicle now had a large dent in it. You assumed the villains had scattered everywhere.

You looked to Mei, your lips pressed together in a thin line. She looked back at you, a smile on her face. “Do it,” she said and despite the butterflies in your stomach, you nodded and pulled your hood up before taking off. The hover soles made it easy to increase your speed and it was almost like rolling skating, it took but a few moments to arrive. But as you did you could see smoke billowing from a section of the surrounding forest area. You placed your hand to your chest, your heart was still racing.

Well, it was now or never, you glanced back and forth making sure there were no heroes around as you made your move. You could hear the hover soles kick up dirt as you made your way into the smoky forest, the smoke was thick and you began to cough the deeper you ventured inside. Bringing your wrists up, you released a shot of compressed air. It blew some of the smoke away as you closed in on its source. You heard two voices as you got closer and ducked into some bushes, holding your breath as you peered through the leaves.

You could see Dabi, he was standing by a tree. His palm pressed against it to keep his flames going. Then there was someone in a dark bodysuit who seemed to be having some type of argument with himself, “Hm, strange.” you muttered to yourself before Dabi pointed down the forest path. “Yeah, whatever Twice. Just keep those damn heroes at bay.” you shivered at the sound of his voice, it was as monotone as ever. You watched “Twice” ramble off something before departing and you leaned back, however that proved to be a mistake.

You ended up snapping a twig which caught Dabi’s attention and you watched his head turn to the bushes where you currently were. “Alright, come out,” he said, stepping away from the tree. His eyes were absent of any emotion and you clasped your hands over your mouth, trying to keep silent. This wasn’t exactly the introduction you had thought of. You watched him step forward, raising his arms. “Guess I’ll have to force you out then …” he said, his eyes seeming to shine as his arms were engulfed with his flames.

Oh no. You cried out when they came, the metal beam from your hydraulic bracer came out. Pulling you away and out of the bushes, which were set ablaze seconds later. Leaves flew everywhere and obscured your vision. “Ah!” your eyes widened when you felt the heat of Dabi’s fireball hurling towards you. “Damn!” you hissed and brought your wrist up, releasing that compressed air to deflect it. However, it only weakened the flame and your hydraulic bracer retracted its beam. You felt yourself fall, that fireball grazing your arm and though it hurt, you almost felt happy to feel that burn again.

You landed on the ground, grunting before you stumbled onto your feet again. Dabi scoffed and slowly stepped in front of you, “Well ...if it isn’t the little hero from before.” he almost sounded like he was mocking you and despite the fact that your arm was now bleeding from that fireball, you took a deep breath. He had recognized you? “My name is y/n,” you said with a small hiss, Dabi had to have known your name. Then again, you don’t remember telling him your name before. Okay, maybe this was awkward. Your soulmate should know your name, but that didn’t stop the fact that you two were destined to be together.

“Should I really care about that doll?” he replied before reeling his hand back and sending several flames towards you. “Damn it.” you hissed and dodged them the best you could, using your compressed air devices to redirect them. “You should care! Considering what you did to me last time!” you shouted before crossing your arms as Dabi charged at you, he knocked you off your feet and once more you found yourself trying to escape him. He grabbed your ankle, pulling you back. You felt his palm growing hot and more than likely he was using that as a silent threat to keep you from moving.

You clenched your jaw, your hands curling into the ground which stained your palms with dirt. You could hear fighting off in the distance as well as the small aftershocks of the heroes’ super moves. “You really trying to escape again? Dollface, I thought you would have learned from last time.” the memories flashed in your head before you turned and shot a compressed amount of air into Dabi’s face. He hissed and covered his eyes which now watered, “Fuck.” he groaned and you took your chance.

Leaping up, you grabbed his wrists and pinned him to the ground. Your legs spread and your knees dug into his waist. He seemed unphased as he stared at you, meaningless tears running down his cheeks. You paused a moment, he almost looked human and your heart sank again. But you leaned over him, tightening your grip on his wrists. “Do you know ...how fucking long I was looking for you!?” you exclaimed, ignoring the fact that the voices were growing closer to your location.

Your hood was down, but even so, you didn’t care. Dabi kept quiet, his eyes locked on you. “Do you feel it anymore? Do you feel me!? My pain?” you questioned and watched his head cock to the side. “Why does that matter?” he questioned and you felt your heart sink and your nails dug into his wrists but once again, it didn’t seem to phase him. “Can you feel the pain I feel inside, missing you?” you asked before releasing his wrists and leaned up to press a hand to your chest.

You almost felt like crying, but you refused to. You gasped when Dabi reached up and you more than certain he was going to choke you, but instead, he grabbed your hand and pulled it away from your chest. You looked at him, a little worried about his next move but found yourself surprised when he placed his hand over your heart. You looked down, his hand was so large and yet it laid innocently there, feeling the rhythm of your heart. You then looked back at him as he sat up and sighed. “If you’re talking about that heavy feeling in my chest, yeah y/n I feel it.” your eyes widened and a shiver ran down your spine at the sound of him speaking your name.

“But I can’t bother with it right now,” he growled before you felt a powerful burst of heat, the burning and blood followed as you were thrown back by the force of it. You hit the ground and rolled, your hand now clenching your open wound. “W-Wait Dabi …” you said weakly as you held your hand out to him, he was standing and looking down at you though you couldn’t read his expression. You could hear the heroes closing in, their words audible but you knew you couldn’t escape in your condition.

Still, you looked at Dabi with a pleading glance and he sighed. “I’ll find you this time.” he said before taking off, “Dabi …” you whimpered before lowering your head to the ground, the pain radiating through your chest was unbearable and your hand was covered in blood. I’ll find you this time, your eyelids began to feel heavy. He better keep that promise or you didn’t know what you’d do. Your vision started to fade and your body went limp against the ground as you finally passed out. The heroes approached your unconscious body and once more, you were taken to the hospital.

When you woke up days later, the sound of the cardiac monitor beeping filled your ears. You groaned, feeling your chest give a soft ache. Looking down, you noticed your chest was wrapped up tight with bandages. More than likely you’d have another burn scar from Dabi, you sighed as you sat up in the hospital bed. Your hands rested on your thighs, your thoughts going back to what Dabi had said. Would he find you, was he trying to find you last time? You couldn’t really tell, but once more you found yourself waiting.

“Well, I would say it’s glad to see you awake but the fact is I need to discuss some things with you, y/n.” a shiver ran down your spine as you glanced over to the door, Aizawa was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. You said nothing, “You took it upon yourself to not only disobey my orders but you bluntly put yourself in danger once again and in addition, you managed to drag your classmate into your nonsense.” you clenched your jaw. “I-It’s not nonsense,” you replied, though it’s not like he’d understand.

He seemed to perk up at your words, but a frown was still plastered on his face. “Frankly, I don’t care what it is. I’m not trying to be the bad guy, y/n but you did disobey me and go against the orders I put in place-” you snapped, “The orders you gave me when I was injured! The orders you gave me because you thought I was the reason for the failure of the last mission!” despite your chest aching, you were ready to throw down with your teacher. He sighed and shook his head. “I did not call you a failure y/n but even so that’s not what I’m here to discuss,” he said firmly, his eyes narrowing on you.

“I have spoken to Principal Nezu and given the circumstances though he did mention he was impressed by the fact you trailed behind the hero students without being caught. I am until further notice, putting you on suspension from U.A.” you felt your heart shatter and your fingers curled into the blanket that draped over your legs, your face twisted with anger. “What do you mean suspension you can’t do that-” before you could finish you heard a scream and the sound of panicked running came.

You weren’t sure what was happening, but slowly you turned to look out the window. Seeing the trees give off smoke and a blue flame hidden in between them. The world around you slowed as you pulled the blanket back and slowly rose to your feet, the heart monitor suction pads peeling off as you made your way to the window. You looked at the burning trees as though you were hypnotized, “Dabi …” you whispered before your thoughts were shattered by Aizawa’s yelling. “Y/n! Y/n!” you gasped and looked at him as he pulled down his signature goggles.

“Stay here, under no circumstances are you leaving this room and you better listen this time,” Aizawa growled the last words before shutting the door behind him, more than likely going to address the situation. You stood there a moment, a frown on your face before you turned back to the window, the smoke was growing thicker and spreading to the various trees that were near the hospital. All in a line, everything was slowly engulfing into blue flame. and for some reason, you felt hope. Dabi was coming.

#dabi x reader #dabi x you #dabi imagine

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hughiecampbelle · 4 years ago

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End of the Year Faves 2020

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 10 favorite works you created in the past year and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

Tagged By: @supervalcsi / @moonlit-imagines (thank you so much!!!! 💕)

I only wrote <70 fics this year, but I am quite proud of a few :) also majority of these are peaky blinders so apologies if you don't know/like the show!!!

1.) Unhinged (Geralt of Rivia Oneshot)

Definitely my favorite fic of 2020. The rest are in no particular order, but this one? #1 in my heart :) It's not the longest fic I've ever written, but it doesn't have to be. I remember writing this while I was still living at the college I left and talking about the show with my roommate and idk, that in itself makes me happy. I love how it turned out. I worried it was a little easy to see the ending coming, like I was failing at trying to write the twist, but I don't think it's too bad :P I just, yeah I like it a lot and I want to write like it more.

2.) Wicked Pt. 1 / Wicked Pt. 2 (Thomas Shelby Oneshot)

This was my first ever part two to a fic, so that felt like a really big step in writing :) I also love the tone of it. Idk, it's dark and twisted, but not in the ways I usually opt for. I like that the reader is vengeful and power hungry and maybe even a little villainous. It's not a perspective I write a lot for, but it makes me want to do it more! Because it's so interesting and there's always a drive and motivation that's usually chalked up to something small in a character flaw.

3.) The Writer (Thomas Shelby Drabble)

I guess I like this because it makes writers block pretty, which it can be. It's frustrating and exhausting and can come with a lot of self hatred, but that doesn't mean it can't also be romantic and pretty like so many things that aren't are. If that makes sense? Idk, I remember being tired and mad at myself because I hated everything I was writing and I guess sometimes it feels worse in the moment, cuse now I can see that block, like all blocks, are necessary....

4.) Dirt Nap (Arthur Shelby Oneshot)

Idk why, I just like this a lot!!! It's a reminder I have to write for Arthur more and how much I love him and how, as a character with these intense emotions, it doesn't mean they're always bad emotions. He can be furious and full of rage, but also so full of joy and intense love and trust and admiration. Idk, I just liked writing this and I liked being able to use those pieces of him as a character :) I didn't like it initially, but I'm happy to look back and feel good about it

5.) Naive (Michael Gray Drabble)

I have no idea why, but I'm seeing a trend where the closest-to-sexy-things I can write always involve Michael.... I can't say why, but I do it a lot!!! Y'all what's up with that!!! I like this for the plot :) I probably could have written more, added more, and I'm thinking of rewriting it now, but I really like how it turned out, even if I didn't love it when I posted it.

6.) A Garden of Apologies (Thomas Shelby Oneshot)

I'd definitely rename it now, but I have to admit I quite like this! Idk, I guess I like the idea of love being a let down. It's not a cure all, no matter how much you want it to be. That's the reality of it sometimes, that it creates more issues than it does fix them. Plus I think it's really fitting for his character too, something I'm always scared of that I don't write characters personalities well, so that's nice :)

7.) Over Before You Knew It ( John Shelby Oneshot)

Ngl, I like this a lot :) Idk, it kinda reminds me of The Sixth Sense. I love twist endings, I think 90% of the books I own have twists and turns and they always pull me in. It wasn't what I was expecting, which is dumb because I'm the one writing it, but I really like how it turned out, even if it was a surprise. And it made me feel better though the storm, so that was an added bonus!

8.) Miserable Pt. 1 / Miserable Pt. 2 (Thomas Shelby Oneshot)

So okay this is my second ever part two of anything, and though I absolutely despised it when I initially posted it, looking back, it's not half bad :) The encouragement was unbelievable and still is!!! Idk, I guess I like that the reader is beating him at his own game, choosing to take steps to better their life, tired of being miserable. They take their life into their own hands. I like to read things like that and enjoy things like it, so I'm glad I could write it!

9.) Achilles Heel (Thomas Shelby Oneshot)

I guess I like this one a lot because I really struggle with story telling. Especially fics that are more for therapy, in my opinion, they don't seem to move forward, if that makes sense? They stand still. And that's okay, but I think this one stepped away from solely description and more towards doing something, being something more, which is exciting!!! Plus idk, I like the idea that where someone sees a weakness, it can actually be someone's greatest strength.

10.) The Horrors of a Quiet Hostility (Thomas Shelby Oneshot)

I can't really say why I love this a lot, and why I'm so proud. It is one of the longest, if not the longest fic I've ever written, and that's really exciting. Maybe it's thay, or the title, or the overall vibe of the story. I just like it a lot and I'm proud I was able to write it and share it :)

#i feel like i sound conceited or arrogant #dont mean to toot my own horn #thank you for tagging me!!!#tagged #tag game #dl

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nauseateddrive · 4 years ago

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4 POEMS by Jake Sheff

Elegy for Dog I: A Failed Acrostic

January was tired when it became king. Apples here love being red in the spring, Casting shadows against the stone architraves our Kapellmeister will never live down. You Stole Apollo’s cows, and let them graze to show me Heaven’s template. Where do failed heroes go? Eucalyptus cupolas and polar icecaps Frame the downtrodden gods. But you weren’t Freakishly wrong, as I so often am, on your

Joyride through nearly twice eight years, Á la someone far from beauty’s stepmom. Copper coin or grimacing sun? I’ve got 20,000 Kor of crushed grief on this threshing floor. Shark-sparks of sadness flood the impetiginous air… How, and why, do clouds cobblestone Entire days, and lakes, when you’re not here? Fixing every broken thing, poets go where Ferns and geraniums baptize the morning.

“Jur-any-oms,” is how you’d spell it; After all, a dog’s a dog, and wisdom knows futility. Cassations make a rusty brew, to drink the truth of truths, and Kill whatever ceases wanting to be new. Stewardship, the color of gravity’s silence, naturally Houses every “glur” (a glittery blur); go chase what plays Eternal games. I hear the swans by Rooster Rock. Your handsome Face, its happy handsomeness, in memory’s eye, goes in and out of Focus; in love’s better eye: your goodness neath its everblooming ficus.

Gravity and Grace on SW Murray Scholls Drive

“Impatience has ruined many excellent men who, rejecting the slow, sure way, court destruction by rising too quickly.” Tacitus, The Annals of Imperial Rome

The traffic lights control the people’s actions, but Not their feelings, as the limits of philosophy Collide head on with the nose of a Dalmatian.

I tell you, the day is stress-testing itself, and these Sidewalks wish that it’d just gone straight. Geese Take this sky-hairing wind for granted, as they

Land on the lake like memorable speech on The sensitive soul. Time is never sharp, but it’s Cutting something in the credit union. Maybe

It’s dancing a back Corte for the woman in line Thinking about the taste of limes from Temecula As she waits for the teller. Air Alaska and that

Haunted pie in the sky are not the only reasons For all the volatility in the air today. Rushing And perfectionism both produce a loss; behind

The Safeway Pharmacy, you’ll see the small Smells of both, sloshing around to the ticking- Sound of the ocean’s tides. I must admit, I am

Frozen in place by the sight of steam from Joe’s Burgers; it is poetry’s pale tongue, rising in And arousing the air. This neighborhood’s street-

Lights are more serious than kokeshi dolls. Lights From its windows outshine poison dart frogs. Maybe to forget about life for awhile, the lamps

Are focused on The Population Bomb? ‘Easy Tiger,’ all these incidents whisper. Each day’s A sign twirler’s dais; each corner a promise

Of something more in a different direction: it isn’t A marriageable daughter or impoverishment, But inguinal ingenuity plays a part, and that isn’t

Bad at all. What oaths and paths went here Before Walmart? What voices were voided by The liquor store? What are vague’s values

When the library shares a parking lot with a 24- Hour gym and a cargo cult? Gas stations satirize The Queen of Hearts; I tell you, it makes every

Question seem incidental. Treaty-breakers in Pajamas swing on the swing sets. Was August That full of angst? It feels like autumn went too

Far on accident. Desertification, in a sugar tong Splint, takes a shot of ouzo and talks shit About the death of Brutus, but my Bible-thumping

Memory – on a ski hill in Duluth – is also too busy Watching some ducks on the lake to notice; and Desertification makes a face at me like a Swedish

Film. Poets make for poorly picked men to Familiarity’s paymaster-general. The Calvinistic Rain is an ill-starred attempt to make mayonnaise-

Fries just for me, but I must admit, it all seems – You know – cybernetic. And step-motherly as all Get out, if you ask the trees. They prefer “You

Can’t Hurry Love,” by The Supremes, to any Changes that take effect in one to two pay periods. Pretext ricochets; a perfect reverse promenade.

At Summer Lake, When the Vegetables are Sleeping

Cruelty drinks all the wine, and never gets drunk On these shores. When Summer Lake speaks, In every word, an introduction to the world. I am

Easily duped. The greatest duper duplicates my pride, Which always lingers, in the hallways of my heart And beneath the surface of Summer Lake. The sky is

Supplicating, it’s literally shaking. An hour passes Faster here, the hour always held too dearly dear In paranoid and ivied walls. The ducks can do

An unwise thing correctly, and it sounds more like Dusty than Buffalo Springfield to the enokitake Sold in Springfield, Illinois, which is the opposite

Effect it has on the wild mushrooms on these shores. On cables capable of love, the geese convince The weather to taste like kvass today. Basically,

Another Cuban Missile Crisis drowned itself just Now. The clouds might ask themselves, ‘Is lowliness Allowed here?’ To which the crows might ask,

‘Does omertà sound like lightning?’ The answer’s Oubliette is ten times worse than impotence. Summer Lake isn’t smart, but it stays quiet, like

Someone too smart to say all they know. ‘Whoa, Sweet potato,’ the capital gains tax mutters To itself, knowing that what matters doesn’t mean

A thing. Some say the lake bottom’s sands receive Commands from Hearst Castle, others say Its hands are King City’s hands, and still others

Maintain more sins have been than grains of sand Times secondary gains, and that explains The beauty and industry that none can see but

All can feel on these shores. (Some possibilities Play possum, or get opsonized by hate; this one snores Like Rip Van Winkle.) This orb-weaver spider is

The Milton Friedman of Summer Lake, the wind On her web is Grenache from The Rocks District Of Milton-Freewater AVA for the eyes. The day is

Stereotypical, although it feels like three days In one…But for the lake’s good counterfactual Questions, I would forget that some die young,

But most die wrong. I’ve tried to pick up Summer Lake’s reflections in three lines or less, but The hardest truth is your own impotence. Oh,

It’s hard to hand your power over to a thing No one can see. Hopped up on distinctions – not The obvious distinctions – Summer Lake is pretty;

Cold, but pretty! In the distance, with so many Intercessory prayers, hot air balloons are rising; Shaped like teardrops, upside down and rising.

This lake re-something-or-anothered me. Are first Impressions wrong sometimes? I am a season’s Golden calf, according to the sunlight, doing

A prospector’s jig on the surface of Summer Lake. If not for the Weimar Republic’s wooden- Headedness, I’d set down my heart-song and

Listen to reason on these shores. I never trust An activist guitar, if the weather is socially clumsy. The future is reflected on the lake: it always

Laughs at us – between its math and gratitude Lessons – and never thinks of (or gives thanks to) Us enough. The presence in the lake juniors

My ears. The day is not too baffling, nor is it Jane Eyre. Space-themed and spiritual, some autumn Leaves are swimming in the rain. The ducks arrest

My attention in the mardy weather, even though they Must know my attention is dying. The barbed wire Around my stated goal is an outcome out of

Their control. Picnickers picnic with acorns and apricots, On blankets covering Holy Schnikey’s death mask. My unsandaled thoughts thrive and increase on these,

And no other shores. They are pets for the days less Important than love, when Summer Lake says it’s Humble, because it knows the right thing to say.

Summer Lake gives the comfort of commonly held And seriously absurd beliefs to the blue heron. Nothing is wrong with this lake or anything in it,

Not even the ghost of Amerigo Vespucci. It’s all so Simple to the stiff-necked molecules of water, made out Of frogs and snails and puppy-dog’s tails. These thoughts

Are fine manna in a fine ditch. Post-structuralist squirrels Can tell my heart’s in Italy, and I’m in the intellectual Laity. Chivalry’s technician sees my shovel, and they say,

‘You’ve got to hand it to him.’ Neurocysticercosis Sets the bar high; it looks at this park, and thinks The smartest monkey drew the perfect landscape.

That’s this maple tree’s previous disease, its precious One. It unfurls the ferns of my firm and foremost Beliefs, I’m told, to partialize insufferable vastidity.

We Install a Sump Pump on (What Used To Be) a Holiday (Take 2)

The oppressive heat was born a fully grown Man. I admire the result of its effort, but Despise the means of achieving it. My wife Asserts her individuality in the gunk; her Body’s allegations aren’t too soft or hard today. Her self-interest seems to have drowned in the vortex.

Our little garden knows flippancy with regards To privacy is unwise. The stepping stones can Only blather, as slugs draw nomograms on Their faces. My wife’s body speaks Proto-Indo- European in the vortex and denim overalls. Marc Chagall’s The Poet studies her. He calls her

‘Innocence: The opposite of life! A criminal with A badge!’ I hand her the tools of a crude and Rudimentary faith, and she says, ‘Jill, great books Make fine shackles.’ Her arms only have An administrative objective in the vortex, but They are where good things come from.

Jake Sheff is a pediatrician in Oregon and veteran of the US Air Force. He's married with a daughter and whole lot of pets. Poems of Jake’s are in Radius, The Ekphrastic Review, Crab Orchard Review, The Cossack Review and elsewhere. He won 1st place in the 2017 SFPA speculative poetry contest and a Laureate's Choice prize in the 2019 Maria W. Faust Sonnet Contest. Past poems and short stories have been nominated for the Best of the Net Anthology and the Pushcart Prize. His chapbook is “Looting Versailles” (Alabaster Leaves Publishing).

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fayevalcntine · 5 years ago

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god i am Tired why does everyone love logan so much

I honestly don't know lmao. I mean I can understand the appeal of his character on a surface level. He's rich, can be charming when he wants to be, and is generally pretty easy going, but overall as the show goes on he really just gets worse and worse (or he gets better and becomes a somewhat better boyfriend before turning into a not-so-good one again). I can never really be into his character the same way all his fans are, because while they like to view his "development" as only a linear one, to me he basically flunctuates in whichever way the writers need him to in order for their plot (usually involving Rory) to work.

Logan can be charming and attentive when he tries to get what he wants (like getting Rory back after their fight in Balalaikas), but he can also be overly defensive about his actions and offensive towards anyone who questions or doubts him (their fight in Balalaikas or him continuing to excuse himself for sleeping with the bridesmaids). While his easygoing personality is a feature everyone loves about him in season 5/7, to me it gets a bit old after a while. Like sure, I appreciate him at least being honest with Rory about not wanting to date, but I also don't like how Rory wound up crying on the bathroom floor because of their so-called "arrangement". I also don't like how he doesn't give Rory the space to explain herself and makes her doubt her feelings when she asked him if she could come over after the wedding, only to turn up to a poker game (when he very likely knew she wanted alone time with him, even if it was for them to just talk). He also always wants something he can't really have, which is what Rory deliberately has to use in order to have him spend time with her (by going out with Robert first). Even their whole conversation where she tells him she can't go on with this fwb situation, his weird exasperation over being a boyfriend is uh, pretty foreshadowing. Like look, I'm not gonna say he has to agree only with enthusiasm, but to me, Logan's complete lack of experience with mutual romantic relationships is an issue that shows itself multiple times even in season 5. He's completely fine to let Rory do anything (even commit a crime and go to jail), because from his perspective it's "no big deal", but he never considers what could've possibly caused her to get the idea to impulsively do something like this. It's why his whole speech about her being "sheltered" or w/e is just ironic to me, seeing as how he has absolutely zero problem doing anything and everything, because he's allowed to, to the point where he doesn't seem to even grasp the notion of his actions (or Rory's) having consequences.

I also simply don't like who Rory becomes around him as a person. Logan isn't directly responsible for Rory's behavior, but he is a catalyst for it, and since Rory wants to appear cool and easygoing like he is in order to continue getting his attention, this later just snowballs into various problems she causes for herself.

When it comes to how his character is more often than not used for a plot device, it's obvious with how Rory is "introduced" to the easy ways of the rich with him leading her into that, to being completely passive to her sudden shift after dropping out of Yale. Even in the revival, Logan isn't really much of a developed character. The bare bones of his personality are there, but he's used more as a sign to show that Rory's in a really bad place for herself, that she would fall into another affair with an ex-boyfriend, before she breaks if off with him. Not to mention the pregnancy, which was Amy's apparent dream for Rory all along.

I think that overall, his fans love Logan's fun personality on a surface level. And it really helps that he's just rich and his story/life is and always will be tied to him being rich. Lmao if there's one thing I've learned from this hellsite is that people love excusing rich people, fictional or real, because they want their lifestyle. To a lot of Logan fans that I've seen, he basically represents that. So it's easy for them to excuse everything and anything he does. Logan's not really emotionally mature when it comes to his situation with his future career? "Mitchum's abusive!!!" (Also funny how Mitchim apparently being abusive excuses Logan's behavior, but Jess having a flaky mother who abandoned him is no excuse for anything). Logan sleeps with numerous girls immediately after thinking he and Rory are broken up? "He apologized and he thought it wasn't cheating so it's not cheating!!!" (He never apologized btw, he simply made Rory doubt her being understandably upset by repeatedly excusing himself and not considering her own feelings on the matter) Logan proposes to Rory at her own graduation party without even so much as talking to her about marriage before that but merely asking Lorelai for her permission? "RORY SHOULD'VE SAID YES. HE LOVED HER. I WOULD'VE MARRIED LOGAN" Logan is cheating on his fiancee with Rory and wants to continue his affair even after getting married? "He's following the dynastic plan!! He wants Rory to ask him to not marry Odette!! Rory is actually to blame for this because Logan loves her and can do no wrong!!" There is no moment in the revival that shows him so much as even thinking about Rory wanting to ask him anything. If he didn't want to marry Odette, I'm fairly certain he could've simply chosen to break off his engagement. Logan always has the weight of his own choices taken away from him by his fans because they simply cannot accept him not being perfect and good, because for the most part, he's their wish fulfillment of sorts.

Overall, whenever I watch his scenes I can stand him and go along with it or w/e, but his story is never that interesting and he's not really as charming as his fans make him out to be so much, he's just smug for the most part of his screentime. I think that, if anyone was actually a fan of Logan, flaws and all, and not just how he's a "giving" rich boyfriend, they'd want him to go to therapy and maybe find some better friends.

#anti rogan #anti logan huntzberger #/#//#///#gilmore girls

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0poole · 5 years ago

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Some thoughts on Temtem

Because as far as I’m concerned Pokemon games are some of my all-time favorites (as a group, since they’re basically all the same) so naturally there’s a lot to say about Temtem. Considering this is the first standalone Pokemon-alike that got serious attention, especially after the Sword and Shield riots making Pokemon fans just want something else, it’s basically the game that’ll let different developers make their own Pokemon-alikes.

And yes, I am going to call them all Pokemon-alikes because let’s be real that’s the role they’re trying to fill.

But actually, for once, there’s a few major things that I really dislike about the game. Like, seriously dislike. Considering we’re coming from the stuff people always disliked about Pokemon, I feel like it’s easier to be critical about this stuff. Might as well start with them so I can end on a higher note:

Conversations with random tamers. Literally like 95% of all tamer battles start with some sort of conversation with them, all of which require you to press some random response to either skip the dialogue or go through a completely pointless series of dialogue. There’s absolutely 0 chance I’m interested in what these random people have to say, because I know that no matter what, it’s going to end in a fight. Maybe if they made it so you can actually convince some tamers not to battle you, then it might be a fun mechanic (although I still wouldn’t bother, it would just have a purpose). But, no. All it does is make me want to spam click through everything and start the battle as soon as possible. It’s legitimately annoying. When it comes to more important tamers, it makes sense, just because that’s a convention of RPGs and junk. It still feels pointless, but at least it’s the norm.

The evolution system. Unlike Pokemon, where you evolve once your Pokemon reaches a specific level/etc determined by the Pokemon’s species, Temtem instead evolve a certain amount of levels after you catch them. Sounds pretty alright, until you realize that a lot of these level requirements are way too high. Most evolve after like 20 levels, and your starter evolves after 30. This might not be a total issue if the story is much longer than it seems, and the final battles are around lvl 60+, but even then it really makes you want to ditch the unevolved Temtem you caught a while back for its evolved form once you encounter it. Like, you can find Bunbun and Mudrid in the exact same area, so there’s absolutely no point to catching a Bunbun. If they evolved at a set level, you could just catch one, level it up once or twice, and it’ll evolve anyway, since there being others of its evolved form close by usually means it’ll evolve around that level. Instead, if you do that, you’ll have to wait a seriously long time. I’m currently going through this issue with my Mushi. This is even worse for the second reason:

Eternal double battles. For strategic purposes, it’s obviously a major plus. But, even though the difficulty is definitely higher than Pokemon, the battles are still pretty easy, so as long as you switch into the right types you won’t have any issue. That’s not the problem. The problem is that it makes leveling up feel so much slower. Since the EXP from a battle is always split between at least 2 Tems, it’s harder to train up just one of them. It’s worsened because all battles are set battles (where you can’t instantly switch Tems out once the opponent is about to send out another Tem) so that basically means it’ll be split between around 3 Tems each battle, since you’ll be accounting for a new type on the field.

The human names. They’re too out there to be at all memorable. Apart from Max, obviously, I can’t even remember any names because when I first see them I’m just like “I don’t even know what that word is so I’m just not going to bother.” I’m guessing this makes translating names easier, since no name has any obvious tie to some language/region, but it’s still annoying. Mainly because a lot of quests are like “Talk to [character name]” or “Find [character name]” so if you don’t remember the names it makes questing harder to follow. The names of the Tems are kind of in the same boat, but it feels more warranted because they’re weird monsters and not people. Most of them are a pretty normal Pokemon level of naming (Barnshe, Toxolotyl), some even less interesting (Crystle, Mushi).

The roadblocks aren’t any better than Pokemon. It’s still just “You can’t get past here until you get this item.” It’s like the tiniest step above Pokemon, where they just have some dude at an entrance who says “You can’t get past here because [reason],” but effectively it’s exactly the same. It’s even weirder with the Crystal Skates, because they don’t do any sort of slippery puzzle with the Crystal path before you get them, but later you lose the skates and THEN they put in the slippery puzzles in. They really should have just not given you the skates yet and made any reachable secrets a part of a puzzle instead.

The start of the game needs more variety/balance. Ganki is actually OP, and was my hard carry. But, there are so many Wind and Water types early on it gets kind of boring quick. It’s worse, because Wind resists Wind, meaning you’re constantly dealing with Tems that resist your type. But, sure, I guess the variety isn’t the problem and one of the most prominent types resisting itself is. Ganki does need a decent check though, since Crystal types don’t exactly come around until later.

The clothes are WAY too expensive. I’m the character customizer type. I want to buy out all the shops and make myself look snazzy. I can do that while a fucking early-game bikini costs 9000 Tembucks or whatever they’re called.

Then, here are some stuff I’m kinda neutral/iffy on:

The type chart feeling a little arbitrary. Obviously this one isn’t actually a problem, since they probably just did that to make sure Pokemon had even less of a reason to sue, but like I mentioned before, why does Wind resist Wind? When I imagine two gusts colliding, it turns into a giant tornado that destroys everything. That, or they just flow around each other. Considering it slows down the early game, I really wish it wasn’t that way. Another questionable one is that Wind is strong against Toxic. Maybe it’s just because we use vents to clear out toxic air? Considering most Toxic attacks involve liquid that doesn’t help much. It probably wouldn’t be an issue to someone who hasn’t completely and totally remembered the Pokemon type chart, though.

The “representation.” Yes, they tried, and that’s a step in the right direction, but like... it’s really not quite there yet. Like, in the character creation screen, as we’ve all heard from the #gamerrage you get to choose your pronouns. Sure, good. Then they give you the option of the girl body or the boy body, and the girl voice and the boy voice. Really? Still no ambiguously chubby option? Slightly more rounded faces aren’t enough people. Also, I still actually don’t get why they (as well as other game developers) don’t just put in a bald option. Did they just not model the scalp or something? It’s obvious they did because there was a bald option in the beta/alpha, and they just... removed it? Why? It’s not even a matter of reason, It was already there. But yeah, back to the gender representation bit, fused a bit with the conversations, there’s one specific bit of dialogue that really confused me. When big event happens and one girl tells you to go searching for her wife, sure they’re lesbians whatever, but then it pops up with the dialogue options of “Sure, I’ll go looking for him/her/them” but like, as 3 different choices. What’s the point of that? She literally said it was her “wife,” so I just picked “her,” but what’s the point of having the other options? If the first girl’s response is just like “’Him/Them?’ I did tell you she was my ‘wife,’ right?” It’ll boggle my mind even more. Anyways...

The Temtem designs. It’s more like two extremes balanced out to become neutral. I seriously love some of the designs, and I seriously hate others. From what I’ve seen so far, my favorites are Oree, Platimous, Capyre, Valash, Barnshe, Gyalis, Myx, Mushi, Valiar, Noxolotyl, and Kalabyss. My team at the end of the current story consisted of Mushi and Banapi, who I were still training, Gyalis, Mudrid, Kalabyss, and Gazuma, so I only slightly compromised for the sake of my interests. I actually seriously love Valash, but I already had 2 Crystals on my team, and being Neutral wouldn’t be much of a help. My least favorites, though, are Tateru, Taifu, Houchic, Tental, Babawa, Saku, Magmis, Ukama, and Vulcrane. So many Tems have the classic Pokemon issue of “just getting bigger” as the evolve, and a lot of them evolve for the worse, like Vulcrane and Saku especially. Vulcrane, Houchic, Tental, and Zenoreth (who I still sort of like for its colors) look uncomfortably humanoid, where they have almost too much muscle detail on their arms and legs. Pocus is a better example of a humanoid design, because its legs are much more nubby and arms less detailed. Plus, the former Tems’ designs aren’t quite exaggerated enough proportion wise, making them just feel kinda weird I guess. I don’t really know how to explain that yet. Some other designs I think are good, despite me not being into them as much, are Skail, Saipat, Sparzy, Cerneaf, Volarend, Shuine, Adoroboros, Tuwai, Kinu, Pigepic, and Anahir. Overall, Temtem have some good designs, with a few stinkers strewn about.

The evil team/rival. The evil team, as far as I cared to know, are just evil because they’re evil. They’re not crazy, but they’re fine. I definitely think the term “clan” can only be used in an evil context nowadays, so I guess that’s a good thing. Max is just whatever. I’m extremely tired of the stupid rhetoric Pokemon fans keep throwing around, suggesting the only good rival’s an asshole rival. It’s obviously just not true, and Crema’s obviously just catering to that idea with Max. They really just seem like an asshole for asshole’s sake, so that’s boring. The rival’s level of asshole-ness is completely independent of their quality. Honestly I’m like 2% of the way into wanting to make my own Pokemon region so I’ll be able to test my mettle there once it comes around.

The MMO-ness of the stuff feels really minimal, and sometimes I found it hard to find the NPC I was supposed to be looking for because they were in a crowd of random people. I’m pretty sure more MMO-esque stuff will come later, but now you basically just see other people walking around. I obviously didn’t use the co-op function either, but the fact that it exists is good. I guess a good thing to implement later would be an offline mode, so you can choose not to have all those strangers running around if you so choose.

Then, here are the things I really like:

The breeding system. It’s really just simpler, and that’s a good thing. It was kind of annoying to figure out which Pokemon have the same egg group (before I just used a Ditto, at least), but now it’s just based on type. Plus, you can just buy the right items to get the right stats. I do hope they lower the prices though.

FreeTem. It makes actual sense that the people who didn’t want Temtem to fight didn’t go full-on Plasma and become terrorists for their cause. Plus, you get money for cheating their obviously cheatable system. It’s a win-win!

The graphics. This is just one of those cases where people who don’t like it say it’s “bad,” even though they’re objectively wrong. The only “badness” about the graphics are the human faces. Everything else actually looks really nice and polished, especially the animations. I actually died when I saw my Mushi scurry behind me. It’s too cute. Too bad Mushook is losing its luster... But, anyway, it is one of those things that’s just a preference. There’s nothing wrong with the quality. In terms of human designs at least, I was going to say that they look to similar, but for the most part the only characters that looked too similar were the random nobody NPCs, and even then they put together the already existing character customization options in pretty decent enough ways. Some tamers even being not at all subtle references to other things was kinda cute too, although it’s not something I at all care for. That just seems like it’s asking to be reposted every other week on the subreddit...

The music kinda grew on me. The generic themes (wild battle/tamer battle) will never not get old, but the specific themes actually are pretty good. I especially like the theme of the Xolot Resevoir, since it kind of gave me Field of Hopes and Dreams/Scarlet Forest vibes. That might be my favorite kind of video game area song, to be honest. It’s the perfect blend of relaxing, mystical, and trance-y.

The gyms. No one, no matter how good you are, can actually get up to that high of a standing just by using one single type. The fact that Tem Dojos are all based on 2 types is great, especially in how their puzzles/appearance are styled. Obviously the slippery puzzle of the Crystal/Toxic dojo kinda took me aback as mentioned, but alone I liked it. The one problem was that 2 of them were with the exact same types, which kinda sucked, since it also used the same kind of puzzle. That’s the thing about good designs, though; you don’t mind as much if they’re re-used.

The CRYSTAL type. Oh my god, I love it so much. I tried to mask it a bit when talking about the Tems because it’s seriously my favorite thing about the game. It’s the perfect replacement for the Rock type, and it makes any Crystal Tem look so damn cool! The only one I don’t like as much, as mentioned, is Zenoreth/Azuroc, but that’s not at all the fault of their Crystal parts. I seriously wanted to create a whole team of Crystal Tems just because of how universally cool they all were. Gyalis and Valash are easily two of my favorite Tems. I also love how they managed to give the type two signature colors at once, with the bright red and seafoam green. Most other types really only use one or many colors for their part of the Tem’s design, but it seems so solidly both a red type and a green type, even if the icon is red. Since I play Pokemon/these types of games for the cool monster designs, having a whole section of the monsters be this cool is a major upside for me. I love it.

I kinda-sorta tried to arrange this list from worst to best, although really most stuff in between is sort of a crap shoot anyway.

Honestly, I don’t feel like a good source for a “should I buy this game?” kind of review, especially since the game basically just came out of Beta. If you’re into what they’re putting down, you might as well get it now. If you’re not sure, there’s no harm in waiting. The game is clearly making enough money to stay afloat, and since they’ve been at it for so long, there’s really no reason for them to stop now. I remember hearing about this game eons ago... Crazy to think I actually played it.

Now the next wave is Kindred Fates. That’s the next logical step in the genre. I hope this decade is the age of Pokemon-alikes, like how the past few years was riddled with BRs. Every game better have a monster collecting portion to it or else. I want to train my guns in CoD.

#temtem #opinions #rant #rambling #tem #crema #poole #etc #pokemon #thoughts

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eiirisworkshop · 4 years ago

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Untitled O Human Star fic

For Good Intentions WIP Fest, details of which can be found @goodintentionswipfest

I read the first chapter of O Human Star for a class on comics and graphic narratives, loved it, and read all the rest of what was already posted--then I started writing a fic because that’s who I am as a person. O Human Star was, itself, a work in progress at the time, and I felt like I needed to see where the story went before I went further with my fic. O Human Star has now finished, and it’s beautiful, but the plan I had for my fic now feels out of place, and I just don’t feel like doing the retooling it would need for me to continue.

***

Sulla needed to find a book—she knew what book, and where it was supposed to be, just, actually getting it was a bit slow going since she was trying and failing to stare at the purple haired synthetic curled up in a beanbag in the corner. He—she assumed he, definitely human shaped and flat chested under the baggy graphic tanktop, sharp jawline, black and white flannel tired around narrow hips, so he had a book propped in one knee, chewing his lip while he read, and a braided cord running from an outlet in wall next to the nearest shelf to plug in at the nape of his neck, parting his sleek bobbed hair.

He looked up and looked her dead in the eye. Sulla squeaked in embarrassed surprise and hid behind a shelf. When she peered out around it, he was still looking and he raised one lilac-tinted hand in a little wave. She waved back sheepishly. “Hi.”

“Hi,” the purple-haired, purple-eyed, just overall purple synthetic said with a touch of a smile playing at his lips.

“I didn't mean to stare, I just—” Sulla stammered, stepping fully around the shelf, “—you don't usually see people just kinda plugged in to charge out in public, you know? Or I don't. I haven't.”

“Uhuh.” He plinked placidly.

“Sorry. I, uh, I'm Sulla.”

“Aytrin.” He closed his book around one finger and held the other hand out to her. “Nice to meet you.”

She hesitated slightly, grinned, tucked her books under one arm, and stepped forward to shake his hand. “So,” she sank to her knees next to his beanbag, “you plug in. Do you not have a respiratory engine, or…?”

“No.” Aytrin's cheeks glowed faintly blue. “I was a hobby build and I'm old enough there was no way most hobbyists could afford that kind of thing.”

“Oh! That makes sense. I'm a hobby build too—well, sort of. And my, uh, my dad's a roboticist, so it's a little different, I guess.”

“A little, yeah,” Aytrin chuckled. “I'm guessing by that stack of books you're not just at the library to meet strangers, though.”

“Oh,” Sulla glanced down at her books, “no. I—sorry…. I didn't mean to bother you.”

“You're okay, I'm just, like, two pages from the end of a chapter.”

“I have one more book I need, so I'll go get that. Yeah. I—can I leave these here?”

Aytrin smiled. “Sure.”

Sulla neatened her little stack then ran off to find her last book. When she got back, Aytrin had set his book aside—it had a shirtless man with a sword in a cave on the cover—and had grabbed one of her books to read the back. He glanced up at her as she approached and dropped the book back on the stack. “[INSERT TECHNOBABBLE HERE] Unless these are for your dad, looks like you're the roboticist here.”

Sulla smiled shyly and set her new book on top of the others. “I'm homeschooled and my dad lets my study whatever I'm interested in so...yeah. What're you reading?”

Aytrin cast a sidelong look at his discarded novel. “Oldest queer robot romance I could find. Was pretty good until about about a chapter ago.”

“What happened a chapter ago?”

“Author lost the plot. I was hoping it would get back on track but it only seems to be getting worse. I've given up.” He moved to stretch, arms over his head, and knocked his charge cord out in the process. “Ah, crap.” He grabbed the end of his cord, cheeks lighting blue again, and he looked at Sulla. “Can you do me a favor?”

“Do you need me to plug you back in?” She reached for the cord.

“No, I can do it, but sometimes when I plug in, something shorts out or something, I go limp and I can't move.”

“That's not good,” Sulla said, mentally running through and discarding guesses as to what could cause that kind of failure mode.

“If that happens can you unplug me?”

“Yeah, of course..”

Aytrin held his hair aside with one hand and carefully fitted the connector to the port at the nape of his neck with the other. For a tense moment he was still, then he looked at Sulla and flashed a smile. “All good.”

Sulla sighed, relieved. “Good. I can't think what would cause that, but only some of the time. It's dangerous for you to plug in if you're alone, isn't it?”

“Yeah. If I overcharge I overheat, too. It's a problem.”

“You're not here by yourself, are you?” Sulla looked around. There was no one else in the section.

“No, I'm here with my boyfriend. He's over—” Aytrin gestured to one of the mezanine levels, “—over, he's over, over in—he's over in, in the, he's over in the, over in—over in the, in the—”

“Are you okay?” Sulla asked cautiously.

Aytrin held up a finger. “He's over in the, in the law section. He's over in the law section. Sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Sulla asked again.

“I get stuck sometimes and have trouble—I have trouble finishing sentiences.”

Sulla frowned. “You're kinda glitchy, huh?”

Aytrin shrugged. “Like I said, I'm an old hobby build. It's fine.”

“It's not fine if it's hurting you.”

“I don't hurt,” Aytrin said simply, cheeks glowing.

“Causing you problems, then,” Sulla insisted. “You could go to one of those debug shops on—”

Aytrin laughed once, coldly. “Do you have any idea how much it costs to actually get anything done at those shops?”

“Don't they do free diagnostics…?”

“Free or a dollar diagnostics, yeah.” He folded his arms. “To fix any of the problems they find, though, the costs start adding up so, so fast. I'm worth less sold as parts than they'd charge to fix me.”

Sulla blinked. “I never thought about that.”

“I have plenty of 'glitches' I wouldn't want fixed, anyway, because to me they're not problems they're quirks, but even the ones I would want fixed I can't afford to do anything about. Between me and Kash we don't make enough to cover rent in the city, let alone enough to drop a few hundred or thousand on maintenance, for me or him.”

“Kash is your boyfriend?” Sulla hugged her knees.

“Yeah.”

“And he's synthetic too?”

“No, he's human.”

She tilted her head, hair slipping over her shoulder. “Then what do you mean by maintenance for him?”

“Going to the dentist, things like that.”

“Oh.” Sulla looked askance and fiddled with the corner of the top book in her pile—a coding manual. “I can't help with dentists and stuff, but maybe I could help you? I could call it a school project.”

“I'd appreciate that.” Aytrin smiled warmly, cheeks aglow. His eyes flicked up behind Sulla and his smiled widened into a grin. “Hey, Kash.”

Sulla almost fell over herself turning to see a dark skinned young man with a shock of wavy, blond-tipped hair walking up from behind her, a laptop bag slung over one shoulder. He nodded a greeting. “Who's this, Ay?”

“Sulla,” Aytrin said brightly. “Um, Sulla, what pronouns do you use?”

“She,” Sulla said a little more sharply than she meant to.

Kash chuckled. “Don't be offended by him, he sucks at gender. Ay, we've been over this, boobs and long hair is usually a girl.”

Aytrin held up his hands. “I'd rather ask than guess wrong. Anyway, she's offered to fix some of my glitches. Her dad's a roboticist and she's studying it.”

“Yeah.” Sulla stood. “I can ask my dad if it's okay for you to come over sometime. Or, I'd have to bring stuff with me, but I guess I could come to you if you don't live to far. Aytrin mentioned you don't live in the city.”

Kash looked intensely down at Aytrin, who shrugged. “All I said was that we can't afford rent here.”

Kash sighed. “You're very kind, Sulla, but we'd have to come to you.”

“That's okay, I just have to ask my dad.”

“Of course,” Kash agreed. He poked Aytrin gently with his foot. “You got enough juice to get you to class with me tomorrow?”

Aytrin pressed the crook of his wrist, his cheeks lit along with a series of three dots on his inner arm. “Not quite.”

“Well,” Kash jammed his hands into pockets, “I need food, so I'm going to go grab myself dinner—you charge.”

“Okay,” Aytrin agreed, drooping slightly. “I think Burger King is doing that thing again where if you order on the app from next to a McDonalds you get a Whopper for a nickel.”

“I'll try that.” Kash stooped to kiss Aytrin quickly. “I'll be back.”

Sulla and Aytrin watched him walk away. Sulla ran her thumbnail under one of her fingernails. “Money's really tight for you guys, isn't it?”

Aytrin nodded. “Law school's expensive.”

Sulla lowered herself back down to the floor. “Kash doesn't like to talk about it, does he?”

“Nope.”

Sulla looked him over and pressed her lips together. “You can't charge at home.”

“We live in his car,” Aytrin said shortly.

Sulla's eyes widened.

Aytrin shrugged. “His school fees cover a parking pass for the campus deck so that's where we stay. We usually manage a little better than right now but the semester just started so all his, all his books, the semester just started so all his books and start of term expenses have sunk our budget.”

“That...makes sense. I don't think he'd want you to tell me that, though.”

“You were most of the way to figuring it out yourself.”

~*~

The front door banged open, announcing Sulla's return home.

“Brendan!”

“Up here, sweetheart,” Brendan called through his open office door without pausing in typing the email he was working on.

Sulla zoomed up the stairs and touched down lightly just as she came through the door. “Can I have some friends over for a project?”

“Which friends? Titus and everyone?”

“Um, no. New friends.”

“New friends?” Brendan hit send and swiveled his chair to face his daughter. “Do I know these friends?”

“Well, no….” Sulla rocked on her toes, hands folded behind her. “I just met them.”

“You just met them, and you want them to come over.”

“Yes.”

Brendan rubbed his temple. “Sulla.”

“One of them's synthetic and he's a hobby build and I don't think he's been updated at all—I know he's hardly had any maintenance—and he's got some really nasty glitches he can't afford to get fixed, but I can fix them!”

“Sulla….”

“Their names are Aytrin and Kash. They're really cool and Kash is a law student and they're dating and they're homeless because rent and school and everything costs so much. We're really lucky we have a house and money and all the stuff it takes for you to do maintenance on me and Al, and I'm really lucky I've always been able to count on you for that. They can't count on anybody for it and it's not fair, but I can help!”

Brendan settled back in his chair, looking at Sulla. Her hands had balled into determined fists at her sides. Law student meant mid twenties at least, and he was pretty sure he didn't like the idea of Sulla befriending random men, but apparently that's what he got for letting her go into town alone. And now she had her mind set on something.

With a sigh, Brendan turned back to his computer. “Let me make sure there's nothing too worrisome about these guys online. What did you say their names were?”

“Aytrin and Kash.” Sulla leaned on the back of his chair. “Aytrin doesn't have a last name but Kash's is MacAodha. Here, I've got his Insta.”

~*~

Al just about spat out his synth tea. “And you're letting her?!”

Brendan crossed his arms. “She's as stubborn as you and, honestly, I'm not inclined to talk her out of doing a good deed.”

Sulla wooshed through the living room, dropping her laptop on the couch as she passed. It bounced lightly on the cushion.

“I looked these kids up,” Brendan continued. “There's just about nothing online about the synthetic one besides the public record of his emancipation in 2020 and a few pictures on the other one's Instagram; that one, though, the organic one, Kash—he's in law school, he works for a nonprofit that provides legal aid to displaced women and youth. I was hesitant, but these really seem to be good guys in a tough spot. Sulla just wants to help.”

Sulla flew through the other way and dropped a tool case next to her laptop.

“You've had three days to tell me this is happening,” Al grumbled.

“I didn't know until this morning.” Brendan shrugged. “Apparently Aytrin had to get his work schedule before they knew when they could come.”

“You at least could have told me people might be coming over.”

“It's my house, Al—”

“I know that.”

“—and you've been nose to the soldering iron all week. Even if I had told you, you'd've given a monosyllabic answer, forgotten I said anything, and we'd still be having this same conversation.”

Al glowered at him and sipped his tea. “How long til they get here?”

Brendan opened his mouth, paused, and turned to call, “Sulla, when are we expecting your friends?”

“Umm,” Sulla popped over the railing of the stairs, checking her phone, “in, like, five minutes.”

~*~

Kash's car was an old Honda minivan, still in good shape but showing its age in the outlines of old bumperstickers left in varying degrees of less-sunbleached than the rest of the paint. It pulled up, parked in front of the garage, and the old converted engine cut with a descending whine. The driver's side door opened and Kash got out. His door closed with a hollow thunk just as Aytrin got out of the passenger side wearing the same black and white flannel he'd had tied around his waist at the library, carrying Kash's laptop bag. Aytrin hipchecked his door shut, the headlights flashed once as Kash locked it, the two young men looked at each other then up at the house.

Aytrin took Kash's hand, then a step toward the door—which Sulla then burst through.

“Hi!”

“Hi, Sulla,” Aytrin returned brightly as her feet touched down in front of him.

“Is it weird if I hug you or…?”

“Not weird.”

She hugged Aytrin, pulled back, held out a questioning arm to Kash, then hugged him, too, when he shrugged.

“Come in,” Sulla beckoned, trotting up the front steps. She held open the door and the boys stepped over the threshold.

Brendan was waiting just inside with a fresh mug of tea cradled to his chest. “Hello, there.”

“Good afternoon, sir,” Kash said politely, then turned sharply to Sulla. “This is your dad?”

“Yup.” Sulla bounced energetically.

“You didn't mention your dad is is Brendan Pinsky.”

“Well, no,” Sulla admitted, “but he is.”

Aytrin cocked his head toward Kash. “She did say her dad does robotics.”

“A lot of people do robotics, not a lot of people are CEOs of the foremost company in robotics—it's a pleasure to meet you, sir,” Kash segued abruptly. He held out a hand. “Kash MacAodha.”

#fanfic #o human star #good intentions wip fest

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snkpolls · 5 years ago

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SnK Chapter 124 Poll Results

The chapter 124 poll closed with 2,065 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

This month’s poll team: @erensjaegerbombs @momtaku, _Puppet_ , @shifter-lines and @ladymoe6��

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,926 Responses

Fours and fives still dominate but there’s no denying that this chapter lacked the hype we’ve seen recently. “Thaw” had the lowest number of 5’s this year, performing similarly to the Zeke-centric flashback chapter in 114, “Sole Salvation”. (There’s a pun to made here about us “warming up to Thaw” but sadly I am not smart enough to make it.)

The Chapter of Necessary Filler & the Obligatory Cliffhanger

I love that Isayama isn't rushing everything and is actually focusing on little details and small interactions between characters. He really isn't glorifying an "apocalyptical scenario" just for the sake of destruction in itself or shock value.

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride.

This chapter was a breath of fresh air ngl. These past chapters were mostly full of either a flashback, monologue or just having two characters talking in a realm where nothing happens and time is frozen, but, at last, the plot is moving foward in the real world too. Not only it contained long gone titan action, but also great character development/moments as well. I missed this.

The leaks didn't give this chapter justice

A weaker chapter overall, I hope all this buildup will be well spent in the next chapter.

I actually loved everything about this chapter, I can't believe Isayama finally gave me a reason to kind of like Gabi. I'm sure she'll do something to immediately change that…

Isayama-sensei is the best, each chapter is a 10/10 for me. I do agree that this chapter is not as great as as the last 5, but it's still great. This year is impossible to choose the Top 5 Best Chapters of SNK

It was good, but I was hoping for a crazier year closure.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

1,995 Responses

There were many great moments in this chapter, but Annie’s highly anticipated return to the active plot takes up the largest amount of votes! Other notable moments were: Shadis taking command, Armin realizing Annie’s crystal must have unhardened, the 104th discussing Eren, and Jean’s salty reaction to Floch’s continued survival.

A N N I E is BAAAAAAACK!!!

as someone too invested in the gabi-nicolo-braus plot thread by i love sasha i am absolutely Fed with that excellent "get out of the forest" talk. thank u for the good food nicolo

It's great to see the other 104th members discuss about Eren's actions. At least we got a glimpse on what they think about Eren's plan.

For once I'm gonna forgive Isayama for putting off Levi and Hange. I FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE ANNIE BACK ON MY BIRTH MONTH!!! BEST PRESENT EVER

I like the parallels to Trost, especially the part with the thunder spears sort of mirroring the thing with the guns and the elevator from S1

WHO WAS THIS CHAPTERS MVP? 1,988 Responses

Despite the influx of negative commentary, 38.2% of respondents agree that Gabi’s persistence to save Falco and reconciliation with Kaya earned her the MVP title this month. The strongest contenders were Shadis and Jean.

Annie saved this chapter from the Gabi / Kaya focus

Connie- the underrated suffer boi

Gabi best girl!

I am proud of Jean for taking charge, he acted like a real commander.

Reiner Best character 😔👌

SHADIS IS THE MVP AND I LOVE HIM

WHICH CHARACTER WERE YOU MOST DISAPPOINTED WITH? 1,998 Responses

“None of the above” was a popular suggestion (25.2%) but Connie edged that choice out by a percentage point (26.3%) . At least you guys listen when the evening news says that stealing children is bad.

Silly of you to ask us which character we're most disappointed with. We're always disappointed with Floch in every panel he shows up in

it's good to have a connie development, but I was a little sad about his attitude

I'm not so much disappointed with Connie in this moment as I am with the direction his character arc has gone lately in general. I miss when he was fun instead of angry all the time.

I think everyone is acting super irrational. Eren is going to destroy the world but all the SC are "accepting" of it. I think deep down they are all horrified and in a completely insane mental state causing irrational decisions and thoughts such as Jean being okay with genocide.

I understand that Connie is desperate to find a comfort after all the ppl he lost, but I'm still extremely disappointed in him for wanting to murder a child. Not just Connie tho, the same goes for Jean and Armin. Armin didn't say "Let's not kill a freaking child" he just objected because he didn't want to provoke Reiner and Pieck.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF REINER’S ROLE THIS CHAPTER? 1,889 Responses

Reiner takes a back seat this chapter, and just barely over half of the fandom believe he deserves that nap after all he’s been through. Another quarter, at 25.8% are wishing he could just die at this point, for better or worse.

"Enough already. Just sleep." - Reiner to Eren in 117

Can Reiner pick an opinion and stick with it for .2 seconds. he's like hardcore ready to kick ass and then immediately turns around and is ready to die again

Game over man

He's cute. End of the story.

I think it was bizarre that Gabi just let him fall asleep and left him in an enemy territory where he could be captured or eaten by a mindless titan

I understand him being tired an all, but sleeping in the middle of a warzone and at the start of the apocalypse???

Helos needs his rest and good dreams of Bert

I think it is set up for his future death : saving Falco by being eaten by Connie's mom (he was there with Connie in Ragako village)

Madlad goes to sleep instead of dying

Man literally too tired to die

There were certainly worse ways than "passed out from exhaustion" that he could've been written out of the chapter. At least we know his current status this way, unlike a certain duo...

He need some milk

Reiner votes for “Can’t he just die already?”

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE EREN PARALLEL IN GABI AT THE MIRROR? 1,869 Responses

Gabi’s design is based on Eren, and she’s had similarities and parallels to him in the past, what does the parallel in this chapter mean stacked on top of all of that? About 70% say it’s to further emphasize how similar she is to him at her core. 12.7% don’t think it was an intentional parallel to that Eren scene, 7.7% say she’s going to receive his titan, and a solid 1% wrote in the eloquent thesis of “Fuck Gabi.”

A bit too on the nose

Both have the common factor of determination and the desire to fight to save someone else. "Fight, fight" = "Like I'd give up" In Eren's case, his scene in the mirror is portrayed in a darker, more aggressive environment, he must fight to save his loved ones, but for this goal he must destroy everything. On the other hand, Gabi shows a more heroic/pure attitude, the light is predominant, and his words refer to the desire to fight to save Falco without taking this violence path unlike Ere

Eren cant copyright this hairstyle

How dare she stand where he stood.

I didn't like any parallels that include Gabi. Not this one, and most certainly not the one with Sasha.

It definitely foreshadows something, but I don't think it's that she'll inherit his titan. I think she's going to be the one to end this madness and break the cycle. Unlike Eren, who fights for freedom both for himself and his loved ones, Gabi will fight for peace and equality: a different kind of freedom.

It symbolizes Gabi's character arc starting to go in the opposite direction of Eren, rather than showing them being similar.

It symbolizes Gabi's change in motivation to do anything to save her friends. Just as Eren's motivation in the mirror scene really marked the moment he turned genocidal to protect his friends.

DO YOU AGREE WITH JEAN’S CONCLUSION THAT EREN IS DOING WHAT HE’S DOING TO PROTECT THOSE HE LOVES? 1,950 Responses

Jean believes he’s figured out why Eren’s doing what he’s doing, does the fandom agree? The large majority think that’s at least a part of it, as 40.8% think it’s solely that goal in mind, and another 53.5% believe it stemmed from that desire but has evolved and become more complex. 3.3% of fans don’t believe that’s where his motivation stems from at all.

But if that's his goal it still doesn't explain chapter 112

EREN is doing it to protect his friends. YMIR wants vengeance and bloodshed.

I agree, because I really don’t know what else could have been done. The Eldians were hated all over the world and Talk-No-Justu is a folly.

I don't know what to think. At first, Jean seems to be in denial (like most of the 104th), but perhaps it's his way of realizing things. No, Eren must love them a lot, there's absolutely no way that his genocide is unjustified. Right...? Wait…

I think he's being pragmatic and analytical. Like a real leader. Something I expected from Armin. However Armin has strokes of genius during critical times so I'm expecting something.

In a breaking bad way, yes

Yes, although I believe Eren's old and complex relationship with the idea of freedom also plays a big part in this situation.

No, because he isn't doing anything about the mindless titans and treated his friends like trash. I didn't see any kind of concern while they were in danger. I think he's more eager to set his ideals into action.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO WHAT TO DO WITH FALCO? 1,958 Responses

Another serumbowl type discussion arises, yay!!...? The vast majority, at a combined 81.4% don’t want to feed Falco to anyone, and just want to wrap him up and not start any more conflict. 11.6% think he should be fed to a known titan such as Pixis, and only 4.3% side with Connie’s reaction of feeding him to his own Mama Springer.

Falco is too important. He and Connie will probably have an arc.

Feed him to Floch, jaw titan always dies stupidly and Floch never dies so it should cancel out

Feed him to Levi that way we get jaw Levi and his hand back.

Feed Zeke to Connie's mom instead and take Falco somewhere safe

I don’t have anything against Falco personally, but it makes since to feed him to someone else

I like Falco, but Connie has lost far more than anyone outside the Walls. If feeding Falco to Connie's mom gives Connie some semblance of peace, so be it

NILE !

In a perfect world Connie can have the satisfaction of feeding ZEKE to his mother. Kinda proud that I predicted the “Connie tried to revive his mom” plot point but I think the fact that it’s falco means that Connie fails

There's no right answer here, but I can't imagine any mother would be able to live with the fact that she ate someone else's child in order to live again, so that's probably the worst option.

Well, logically speaking, Falco should probably be fed to Pixis. But my heart calls out for me to wrap him in a blanket.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF CONNIE SEEMINGLY SNAPPING ON THE OTHERS AND INSISTING FALCO BE FED TO HIS MOTHER? 1,947 Responses

Understanding prevaled with close to 80% of the fandom selecting “I don’t agree with his actions but I wholeheartedly sympathize with his reasoning”. Only 13% indicated that they were disappointed with him.

Falco's a kid, man! You don't cross that line!

Connie, if your mom needs a kidney transplant, you don't just shank another person to steal their kidneys. Just saying.

Connie has been pushed to his limit. He needs a nap and a minute to cry.

Although Connie is not thinking clearly, I'm glad they're not blindly hating on him like some have been doing for Eren.

Connie's break is truly amazing to me. The guy was always so good and chill and dedicated before these hard times. To see him at his breaking point, horrified by everything that is happening and overwhelmed by the situation, and thus reverting into single-minded dedication to one fundamental goal - saving his mother. It's tragic to see him like this and it's probably not the best "logical" action, but it makes complete sense that he'd do this. He's sick of this clusterfuck. He has a ticket to save his mom and he's gonna take it. Poor Falco though, of course.

I didn't see it coming, but it's not like it's unthinkable. When the world collapses we often want to run back to our mama.

I disagreed with him, but I thinks his feelings are understandable and, also, I liked a lot that he pointed out 104's hypocrisy. The serum drama is coming back to bite their asses.

I understand he wants to see his mom again but does he really want to give her the cruel fate of becoming a titan shifter?

I understand his reasoning, but this is literally the WORST possible time to cause an internal crisis

I'm sad for him & deeply uncomfortable by it.

I’m mad at Connie only because he straight up abandoned his duty to pacify the Titan situation. He left Jean, Mikasa, and Armin to take care of it without him. Lucky Shadis was there to help.

REGARDLESS OF YOUR VIEWS ON CONNIE’S ACTIONS, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM FINALLY GETTING SOME TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT? 1,946 Responses

More than half the fandom was happy to see him speak his mind and get some character development (53.3%). 16% were absolutely thrilled. Those who don’t care, and those whose disappointment over how he returned soured the moment came in at 10%... I’m willing to bet at least one of those votes is because he doesn’t have a new hair style.

Going to the dark side doesn't suit the former sunshine called Connie.

My man has been in the story since the beginning. He is well overdue for an arc.

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

But why FALCO? He's the ONLY character outside the Walls I actually LIKE!

Finally we get to see him say something about his mother. Yeah, maybe he's not one of the most important charcters overall, but what he lived through when he saw his mom on that roof finally deserves some thoughts and emotions. Connie was on the margin of the story for way too long, and I'm happy we get to see him talk about how he feels.

Glad he’s doing stuff but he’s 100% going to die

I haven't really liked his development. He's, altho understandably, just an angry dude that can't help himself from getting overcome by his emotions. Not a good look.

I really liked his whole "Eren's crossed the line", now he's making the same mistake. A bitter irony, but does Isayama have time for that?

I'm really disappointed in Connie's "friends" for basically telling him to "chill out, you can't save your mother because we need to make our enemies happy". Hell no to that, I completely sympathize with Connie far more than his "friends" especially since Armin is being the world's biggest hypocrite

It's good because it now opens up the possibility of Connie finally getting his revenge on Zeke

My Boi Connie deserves his own plot-line, so I'm really excited

TITAN ACTION! BUT OF THE PURE AND AVERAGE VARIETY INSTEAD OF COLOSSALS, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THAT AS THE FOCUS OF THE CHAPTER? 1,936 Responses

A chapter in the endgame that’s almost reminiscent of the defense of Trost with respect to mindless titan action and defending a base. Despite many other happenings such as the rumbling going on currently, 46% were totally fine with the focus on mindless titan action and thought it was written well, whereas 35.6% enjoyed it, but wished there was a bit more beyond checking that box. 10.8% wanted a larger focus on the titans in the rumbling, and 5.5% would have preferred a focus shift away from Shiganshina entirely.

I love the fact that shows how prepared and easy fighting mindless titans is for them now. When the titans attacked Trost they were hopeless and Jean was the one frozen in fear. Now we get to see him clear up the titans with ease.

I think showing smaller happenings before the big reveal of Eren's titan and the effects of the rumbling are important buildup.

I would have rather focused on what's happening to Pieck and the others near the wall.

I didn't feel that was the focus, but either way, I liked it.

I wish more would’ve happened outside of it BUT it’s important to show them being dealt with otherwise readers would be like “wait, what about all those people who turned into titans?” So not the best, but necessary.

I'm not crazy about fighting scenes, I prefer the ones where they discuss stuff, but these were really emotional with Shadis and Pixis and everything. Like, it wasn't even so much about fighting itself, for me at least, but about Shadis uniting people again and Armin setting Pixis free finally.

I wish the chapter had explored the idea of Titans appearing now that the Military has begun using weapons which are more effective against humans than Titans. I had thought that the reappearance of Titans would do much more damage since the Military is no longer equipped to handle such threats.

Reminds me of the Trost arc and I love it, but it will probably end up being the last time we see pure titans as this much of a threat.

I love the Season 1-esque fan service. How this series has evolved.

I just wished they didn't have to kill their comrades...C'mon this poll question is so heartless wth?

AFTER EREN GAINED THE FOUNDER, WHY WHERE THE MINDLESS TITANS STILL ATTACKING THE SOLDIERS? 1,944 Responses

Nearly half of the fandom are giving Eren the benefit of the doubt that he simply cannot control the titans, rather than not caring about them or using them. Although many believe that he’s too focused on other things to concern himself with them, and many others feel certain that mindless titans attacking the soldiers is part of his greater plan.

3 times it was mentioned that Eren/Zeke can't control the Titans, I think someone else is controlling them. Possibly Ymir, maybe we'll see Eren getting betrayed.

Eren can't control the mindless Titans because they're Zeke's Titans

It's highly likely the Founding Titan's power and control over Pure Titans has a collective effect of sorts. That is, it can turn Pure Titans back into humans, but if it did, it would happen to ALL Pure Titans, not just a specific group of them. It's possible that is how the Fritz royalty used the Pure Titans while maintaining the Eldian population during ancient times. Here, if Eren were to use that aspect of the Founding Titan's power, both the Military Branch Officer Titans AND the Wall Titans would be turned back into humans. Right now, Eren is bent on using the Wall Titans to flatten the World, so he most likely does not want to use the power of the Founding Titan to turn all the Pure Titans in Shingashina + Connie's mom into humans; otherwise, the Wall Titans would turn into humans again too, and that would ruin his rumbling plan.

Regarding Eren and the mindless titans, control issues aside, I just don't think he cares.

WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE TITAN KILL THIS CHAPTER? 1,968 Responses

In a chapter full of titan action, several titan kills stood out as both awesome and tear jerking. Just over half of respondents, at 51.6%, most remember Armin taking out Pixis after thanking him for his service to the cause. In a very narrow battle for second place, Keith Shadis sowing the recruits how it’s done won out over Gabi taking a cue from Sasha and saving Kaya.

All of them were pretty darn cool

Gabi's and Mikasa's tie for me

Hard to choose, they're all good

I didn't find any of them memorable if I May be honest

Can I choose all? Because I am.

It's a tie between Shadis arriving to save the recruits, Gabi saving Kayo from the Nile Titan, and Armin killing the Pixis Titan. If I was forced to pick, I'd say Armin's scene because of his sorrowful dialogue upon seeing Pixis as a Pure Titan and the flashback to one of Pixis's earliest highlights when he believed in Armin and Eren shortly after they first met.

Literally all of them what kind of sadistic question is this how could I possibly choose

Loved all the kills!!!

ALL OF THE ABOVE

THERE WAS A LOT OF DEBATE AS THIS CHAPTER WAS COMING OUT ABOUT GABI, AT THIS POINT DO YOU LIKE HER AS A CHARACTER IN THE STORY? 1,985 Responses

Nearly two-thirds of of the fandom currently enjoy Gabi’s overall character, despite what their first impressions may have been (65.1%) . Though there are still many who have yet to warm up to her, if they ever do (34.9%).

Gabi is beginning to grow on me enough I feel neutral about her.

Gabi is a LITTLE more favorable to me, but I still hate her and I wish she never existed. She can never earn forgiveness for Sasha.

gabi is good you guys are just mean

WHICH THOUGHT BEST MATCHED HOW YOU CURRENTLY FEEL ABOUT GABI? 1,977 Responses

One of the most controversial characters in the story is of course Gabi Braun, but what do fans truly think of her? Almost half, at 45.9% don’t profess love for her character from the mountains, but understand why she’s important to the story. In contrast, 19.6% firmly believe the story would be better off if she never existed, and 17.6% want to see even more of her in the upcoming chapters. 16.9% just think she’s been in the spotlight a little bit too much.

Fuck Gabi, Eren will always be better, not this carbon copy Mary Sue

gabi fucking GANG

Such a great chapter! I’m glad that the Gabi hate is stopping now.

Don't know why are people surprised about Gabi. Her closure with the Braus family is something I figured was gonna happen eventually. Guess Isayama wanted to get that out of the way early.

Of course my opinion of Gabi is unchanged. I still hate her no matter how much "development" she gets.

Gabi is a super uninteresting character to me

i really liked gabi’s character development in this chapter, especially since i was previously a gabi hater.

She is the new MC now. Upgrade.

I see why Gabi exists but she’s just such a forced character. The parallel between her and Sasha was so forced and just felt wrong. Don’t care about her killing Sasha her character is just a forced rehash of eren.

I'm disappointed in her as she is becoming more likeable

Gabi's character development finally completed in a brilliant way

Like Eren, she's fighting for people she cares about, even if she's wrong/vicious with her methods.

I’m tired of Gabi

Really wish we wouldn't have Gabi shoved down our throats, she's not a good character, let alone person

I'm really proud of Gabi and how far she's come from her original POV. I'm really hoping that this influences Eren and I really hope Falco and Gabi get to reunite.

yams wants us to like her more

She has the same motivations as Eren once had, to save the world, basically.

I will admit Gabi has gone through a lot of development. But that doesn't mean I have to like her. I still hate her, and I will NEVER EVER forgive her for what she did to Sasha.

Gabi's haters being mad is so funny. My girl truly shined this chapter, I love her even more.

Gabi.... I feel like I would absolutely hate being around her irl but I guess I do appreciate her as a character in the story.

Never wanted to kill a child so badly in my existence

Death to Gabi Braun!

I don't hate Gabi enough to want her dead, but "too much spotlight" is the understatement of the year, especially when there is still a lot that has yet to be resolved with the main characters

She just wants to protecc

I love Gabi but she gets too much screen time at this point in the story. I want to see Historia and hopefully Eren later.

I LOVE GABI SO MUCH SHE IS THE BEST GIRL

I like Gabster. Gabi Gang Gabi Gang

Me no likey bad bad

NOW THAT ALL OF THE ORIGINAL BRANCH HEADS ARE GONE, WHO SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF THE PARADIS MILITARY? 1,955 Responses

The head of all of Paradisian government, Darius Zackly, went out with a bang, and now we’ve lost the interim head Pixis, as well as Nile Dok. Who’s going to pick up the torch? There’s a big three that seem to have emerged as popular choices, with Jean winning out, Hange coming in second, and Shadis taking up third.

A combination of several people noted above.

Hanji+SC Armin+Garrison Jean+MP

Anyone but Floch

Jean. He's the only one that can view the Rumbling objectively and not rule it out as bad because their enemies are destroyed

Armin for strategy, Jean for leadership, Hanji for progress

Daz

Shadis should take over, but only untill Jean can get a little more experience leading.

As long as they agree Marley needs to be wiped out for the sake of Paradis, I'm okay with any leader that accepts that responsibility

Definitely not Hange. She wanted to make peace with Marley. Not leadership worthy at all.

Rico ;-;

Hange may be commander, but they are unfit for taking on as the head of the military. Same goes for Keith, though in this chapter he shows courage by stepping up to push the trainees to fight, I doubt he is willing to go back into a similar position as he was before as the Survey Corp's commander. Among the candidates, Armin may seem like a promising candidate, but aside from his proven intellect, just like Hange both do not possess the level of prowess of leading all three branches (four if count the training squad)of the military. More I think about it the "best" candidate in this list may surprisingly be Jean, but so far he hasnt been giving me the impression as someone who can take on such a massive role.

Erwin

WHY DID FLOCH ARREST THE VOLUNTEERS? 1,903 Responses

The fandom is fairly divided on Floch’s motives, with a three-way split that comes close to being even. The highest amount of respondents feel he is arresting the Volunteers because he doesn’t trust them based on past actions. In the middle, people feel that he doesn’t want to be associated with any non-Eldian people. And in third place, people felt that he doesn’t trust Yelena specifically, and is taking her group down with her.

As far as I've seen, Floch is on Eren's side, not Zeke's. So that would make Yelena, who hasn't heard about her boss and the euthanasia plan, dangerous as fuck. Even with that, Floch's following his own principles. He has different reasons than Eren, but he just needs the "devil" figure to project his own will.

He always knew Yelena and Zeke's intentions because of Eren, and now he's arresting them to prevent more trouble caused by them. I think Eren "trusts" and is working with Flcoh more than the fandom expect.

Because they conspired to sterilize/euthanize the Paradisians.

He's a completely inconsistent character whose personality and character motivations change at the drop of a hat in order to create conflict in the story.

He thinks Yelena can take over his position of the best Yeager fanboy and he can't have that.

He was never really on their side at all! Just like how Eren saw them - they were a means to an end, a useful tool but a dangerous one that could never really be trusted. Now that Eren has made his intentions clear and the ideological split is visible, he's fully turning on them and suppressing them from potentially pursuing their own agendas further.

There’s not enough room on Paradis for both of those eccentric hair cuts

GABI AND ARMIN BOTH SEEM INTERESTED IN PUTTING ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES: WILL THE SURVEY CORPS AND WARRIORS TEAM UP? 1,928 Responses

After having been warring factions since the beginning, will the warriors and Survey Corps finally team up as one? 62.9% feel a team up will happen, but not everyone from both sides will want to be involved, and a solid 30% believe a full team up is in the cards. Only 5.8% don’t feel that it’s possible at this point.

Any cooperation will be a compromise, so maybe?

At this point I really don't know. Their passivity disappointed me fully this chapter. They need their TRUE leaders who are MIA at the moment.

I hope it happens but I think Armin is acting under Bert's influence

I hope not, it sounds lame.

i think maybe they will be forced to work together to stop the titans because they are attacking both sides.

It's the ideal scenario I suppose

Only until the Rumbling stops. After that, the SC needs to dispose of all the remaining Warriors to end the war for good.

PLEASE MAYBE REINER WILL GET SOME CLOSURE OUT OF IT

Probably but it’s waaay to cliché. Please don’t Isayama

They'll team up to stop Eren, if that works they'll be enemies once again

Yes and Yes! I've been saying this for months: warriors and SC are going to have to work together. Magath is going to play a role in this too.

ANNIE!! THOUGHTS: 1,948 Responses

91 chapters. 91 Months. 7 and a half years. Longer than we were with the characters pre-timeskip. Annie has been in a crystal, but now she's free! 33.4% think she came back at the perfect time and Isayama has nailed his writing once again. 18.4% are excited for her return, but don’t feel there’s much time left in the story for the wait to be worth it. 15.7% aren’t worshippers at her crystal, and so aren’t too hyped out of their minds. 29% however: A N N I E

akueeoekskfnfjyfjekqwiruuri MY GIRL IS BACK BITCHES, AND I NEED POST-AWAKENING MIKANNIE FANFICTION NOW

glad she's back but the plot has nothing for her to do anymore

How he brought her back makes perfect sense and I love it. If she chose to come out at this time rather than being forced, it would have been awkward and forced to be honest. But Eren taking away all hardening is the best way to bring her back AFTER SEVEN FUCKING YEARS.

glad to have her back but sceptical of her importance

go back into hibernation

Good in-story reason, great writing, but waited far too long. Not sure if she will even be relevent for the remainder of the story that already has a lot of loose ends.

Hentannie

I am not hyped because it took too long and the series has gone too far down a path I can no longer follow.

I DID MY WAITING! TWELVE YEARS OF IT! IN AZKABAN!

I don't know what Annie can do at this point of the story that will make her return worthwhile

I don’t think Isayama and his editors would allow her to be brought back for a poor plot point/reason, so I’m curious to see what role she’ll have.

I wasn't too concerned about Annie at this point in the story but I'm glad that her return makes sense with the events currently taking place and I'm interested to see what Isayama has planned for her.

I'm no fan of her so I'm not excited at all, but I assume she'll drive the plot somewhere soon.

She's got a lot of catching up to do. Concerned it won't be handled well.

The reasoning is sound, and I am glad that Isayama thought that part through, but we have a limited number of pages left, so I am worried about how this will play out.

Took too long so it ended up being very 'meh' for me, but congratulations Annie-stans, have a drink tonight

Should've been way sooner, her potential as a character feels wasted since we're almost done now. All she'll have time to do is get caught up on what happened and then have a couple reunions.

I honestly have no idea what Isayama plans to do with her but I’m just GLAD SHES FINALLY FUCKING BACK!!!! MY BABY GIRL IS BACK!!!!

ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT WHAT ANNIE WILL DO NEXT? 675 Responses

Annie will have a run-in with Hitch, get things explained and head towards the main conflict.

Dare I say it, Assist With Armin’s Talk No Jutsu with Eren

"Run"

Definitely try to get to her dad.

Try to find her warrior friends

Determine her situation and act accordingly

She won't be too surprised at what Eren's become. She remarked how when the "good guys" take power, then it's all over to Marlowe in Season 1.

A girl can dream of her and Pieck being badasses.

All the titan shifters will come together (location-wise), it seem like a flag? Since all the shifter's powers is a part of Ymir herself, having them close might have significant meaning.

ANNIETHING

Be traumatized by manga spoilers? Wonder wtf happened?? Try to find Reiner??

Annie will join Eren.

Not give a shit about anything apart from Papa Leonhardt

Annie will play a huge role in stopping Eren, in some way.

be a badass like usual and FEMALE TITAN ACTION?????

Change her clothes because why is she wet

umm take a shower lol

Character development and teaming up against Ereh

I think Hitch will be the one to find her - she was in charge of guarding the crystal. I think she'll be too weak to fight right now though, so I'm worried that she's just going to be used as a Titan Shifter snack :(

Somehow affect Eren's mindset. Not sure exactly how.

Go kiss Armin pls

I'm hoping for Armin to transform into the Colossal Titan. Annie will see this thinking it's Bertoldt, and then have a good character moment upon finding out that Armin ate him.

Her endgame is to at least partially counteract the rumbling with her scream ability.

Confused --> Shocked --> Mad --> or all at the same time. Anyway, she will probably meet up with Armin and the gang and they will explain the shit situation to her and somehow they will come up with a plan or smth.

I think she’ll be forgotten about for a few chapters then show up in the battle. It’ll be interesting to see what side she takes at that point. I’m sure someone will conveniently fill her in on the last few years.

She's a wild card, but the last we saw her she wanted to get back home. I'm sure she will be invested in saving the world from annihilation.

She is FAR away right now. I think dealing with Annie is a good wind-down after all this World-ending stuff has been dealt with, like when they save the Shire after defeating Sauron

Crystallize

Yeet to Marley and die with her papa.

Annie's first move will be to find a toilet sure she must be dying for a pee like

HOW HAS YOUR OPINION ON THE FOLLOWING CHARACTERS CHANGED?

Shadis, Jean and Gabi are the big winners in the opinion poll this month with the majority selecting “More Favorable” reaction to them. Shadis had 1379 respondents selecting “more favorable”, Jean had 1076 and Gabi came in third with 980. Fighting titans so soon after surviving a bear attack is impressive, so I’m not surprised with these results. At the other end of the spectrum, Connie (542) and Floch (496) had the most number of “Less Favorable” selections. While the good outweighed the bad, Gabi again proved to be polarizing with 432 people choosing “Less Favorable” despite her positive development this month.

FAVORITE NEW TITAN DESIGN? 1,926 Responses

Isayama’s nods to his television viewing habits continue with the appearance of the “Better Call Saul” titan. Our appreciation of Isayama’s sense of humor continues with more than 50% of us selecting it as “Favorite New Titan Design” (51.5%). Pixis was a distance second with close to a quarter choosing his titan form (23.7%) as their favorite.

Still laughing over the Saul Titan. Good ol' slippin' Jimmy

the Better call Saul titan looks more like Bolsonaro (Brazil's president)

one last hurrah to the Pure Titan mayhem the series was originally known for, and witnessing the tragic end to Nile and Pixis

WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,926 Responses

The three elements of the story which have been absent for months, or even years, take the top overall votes for what the fandom would like to see next. 33.6% are dying to see present-day Levi and Hange again. 24.1% are still eager to get Historia’s perspective. 23.6% are still hoping to one day see Eren’s inner thoughts.

All I want for Christmas....Is Historias POV

I'm missing Connies adventure on the 'What are you hoping to see next chapter?' question.

Bitch give me Levi. It’s been more than half a year.

I literally only care about the 104th characters so the more of them we can see next chapter the better

Give me more Eren action pleaseee

So why is Annie pov not an option for next chapter?

I have waited for 7 years, finally, Annie is back. I wanna see more of her story and character development. I cant wait to see her conversation with Hitch and Armin!

Please Isayama give me more good Shadis content

I really want to see Eren's full complete titan. Issayama, stop blueballing us please!

I would actually like to know more about that spine creature that is evidently the source of Titans.

Is there a Kiyomi option?

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,843 Responses

With close to 200,000 members it’s no surprise that Reddit continues to dominate the discussion field (47.7%), followed distantly by Tumblr (15.5%), Real Life (9.8%) and Discord (6.7%). Amazingly, 9% don’t discuss it at all. This month, FIVE of you said Snapchat, up from four last month, so while there’s still technically a possibility that you guys are actually forming some weird snapchat cult and this isn’t an elaborate psyop, I’m still not convinced. But regardless of where you discuss the series, or if you even do, we truly appreciate your participation in the chapter poll!

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS? 416 Responses

OMG! Okay, it's happening! Everybody stay calm! Annie! Annie! Annie!

Annie got crystalized in chapter 33, and now she's out, 91 chapters later. Since 12 chapters are published in a year, we have been waiting for her (not including flasbacks and her just chilling in the crystal) 7 years and 7 months. I salute all the diehard Annie fans, you had a long wait.

Once again I have marked my calendar. May 9, 2012 - December 5, 2019. After 7 excruciating years our queen is FINALLY awake. This deserves a new record for longest amount of time a character has been comatose in real life. Thank GOD it's finally over I still can't believe it.

I'm a big fan of all of the smaller storylines coming together, hoping for everything to be wrapped up nicely and characters from different factions (i.e Hange, Annie, Historia) all coming together to address the rumbling.

It felt a little like a breather chapter, despite all the action. It was nice to slow down and get some character development for everyone.

“Everyone has a devil in them” is a great message. Hope they all team up and stop Eren. Very curious about what Annie will do!

The parallels to Trost arc were nice, but I felt like the endgame was finally amping up only to be put on hold.

Great chapter! I like Pathland, and the flashback with Levi and Hanji was great, but it was a relief to get some current time action. Gabi is best girl, Armin just went up by leaps and bounds in my book, and Annie is back!! So excited for the next chapter…

Great one ! The fear from the mindless titans in back, like in Trost. Many side characters development/deaths (Nile, Pixis, Shadis, Kaya, Nicolo, Gabi, Annie, Connie, Jean...). So much good stuff, I almost forgot about the rumbling going on !!

Amazing. If Isayama maintains this quality til the end, then this will be one of my favorite series, of any media, ever.

I'm wondering what Annie can realistically do at this point. Sure she beat Eren before but now he's in another level.

Guess we don't have to deal with the genocidal jock for a while

REINER HELOS BRAUN WILL SAVE THE WORLD (after his power nap)

ANNNIIEEEEE; Shadis' comeback was wonderful. I hope he can make up for the loss of Pixis and Erwin and such. He has great potential and he's a well developed character. Jean is asking the real questions, but the showdown between him and Floch is about to go down.

I said previously that if Floch survives I wanted my money back. But you know what? I'll take my refund in Annie store credit. Thanks for that bright spot, Isayama! Also: this chapter pointed out how many good people in the world will suffer if Eren succeeds. And I felt as frustrated with the remnants of the 104th as Gabi. Nicolo and Shadis became my unexpected heroes this chapter.

Is Zeke still alive? Is he still controlling the mindless titans?

Floch didn’t do anything particularly bad this chapter but every time I have to see his face my opinion of him becomes less favorable. When Jean said “so you lived...” I FELT that disappointment lol.

I love the Braun siblings interaction in this chap. And Nicole's "we'll try to get out of the forest" sends chills. I think that's one of the point ISTM is trying to get across.

Does Connie realise that if his mother was given one of the nine titan powers she would be made to fight? Getting one of the titan powers is very much a curse not a blessing (especially with the Jaw titan)

At this point the Eren/Gabi parallels are feeling a little overdone and forced.

If Gabi receives Eren’s Titan it will be the stupidest most disappointing thing to happen in this- no all of manga! Besides, what is the damn point of her “paralleling” Eren anyways? But the Sasha paralleling was even more gnarly YUCK!

It's true that the people of Paradis will benefit from this shit, but I highly disagree with any justification when it comes to Eren's horrible actions. GENOCIDE IS NEVER THE OPTION. I think Jean is disappointed too but he's trying his best to rationalize the crap Eren's carrying out for he still doesn't want to believe his friend is committing genocide. I expect he comes back to his senses soon otherwise I no longer will appreciate him as a character.

That "who are you most disappointed" will sadly be filled with Armin hate tbh. And in the end he was just wanting to avoid unnecessary conflict... tbh Anyone hating on Connie, Gabi and Armin doesn't seems to know how humans emotion work in helpless situations...

What Yams is doing to Connie is further proof he is ruining his main characters (the good ones) to make room for his precious Marley characters (the crappy ones)

Connie's regression and frustration was more and more visible since Sasha died. He's lost everyone close to him. I am happy to see him finally snap at Armin and go his own way. This was foreshadowed for a while now.

I hope Isayama sensei doesn't forget to include World Millitary's raid in the action. They already mention in some previous chapter by Zeke.

Quantity-wise, the chapter wasn't centered around Gabi, okay. But. BUT. Gabi got quite a few powerful scenes, very Gabi-centric scenes, and I'm not happy about that. I don't see how and why the fandom so easily forgave her for what she's done. Isayama drawing parallels between Gabi and Sasha was insulting and distasteful.

It is highly likely that this is the last time we are going to see Pure Titan mayhem in the series now that the Rumbling is taking place, so I think it was great to that focus in this chapter. I thought it was handled well, especially with Shadis's scenes, the parallel of the new recruits seeing the Pure Titans peaking through the hole of the fortress tower much like a similar scene in the Trost arc, the tragedy of seeing Pixis and Nile (two of the last remaining head honchos of the military not counting Hange and Shadis) as Pure Titans and getting killed off for good, and how characters like Armin and Jean fought those Pure Titans.

WARMASTER FLOCKE, TO LEAD THE ARMIES OF ELDIA TO VICTORY! Haha no I guess not. I'm torn between Flocke, Jean, Eren, and Shadis. All could be good picks but all outcomes would have different implications on the story and what it means. I guess if I had to pick, it'll be Shadis or Eren for now and then perhaps Jean later when things have settled and they've grown up more.

I honestly can't keep up with how many faces Floch has.

With how the pacing is handled there's no way this is ending in 6 chapters. The real climax is Eren having to go against his friends because there's no way in hell Mikasa is allowing him to genocide kids

As heartbreaking as this chapter has been, I already had my hopes destroyed when 119 was released. Today has been the confirmation for two awesome characters, who fell because of the non-veteran rule. I don't know why I still hope to see Keith staying alive, but at least we got an awesome moment of his.

Characters are being balanced relatively well. Isayama's got a lot of characters and plot threads to deal with, and while Levi, Hange and Historia are getting less focus than I would like, I think he's doing a pretty good job of keeping each character relevant and giving them all some good arcs/ moments

Everything (except for Gabi scenes) was perfect for me!

Eww Gabi-focused chapter…

I simply hate how cowardy the 104th is acting. It's clear they're only fighting in their own interest and are just pulling excuses after excuses for supporting Eren. At least Floch is honest about it.

Man, the 104th always been the group I care the less in the story, but this chapter they're being so annoying (apart from Mikasa). Well, I can forgive Connie because of everything he went through, but Jean... why are you saying this ""there was no other choice, eren is protecting us"" bs ? Nice of you to be complicit of mass genocide. (Yes, I know his face shows he's conflicted, but he still sides with eren) Also Armin... at least he's horrified at what's Eren's doing but when he said that if they don't kill Falco there would be no conflict with the warriors since Marley will be gone....that's just dumb. Their home and families are going to be destroyed, but ok Armin, go off. And getting into another serumbowl situation, with one of my fave uncounscious while the SC decides who will eat him... I don't like it. (I don't think Falco will be eaten tho, the whole thing raised many death flags on Connie)

Great chap, Isayama seems to finally give closure to certain plot parts. End is near.

Here's a crazy idea: feed GABI to Connie's mom instead of Falco, there would be nowhere near as much arguing with that

Highlights that people can rise above their conditions to become better people, offering a counterargument that humanity should be wiped out.

I don't get why the story pacing was disrupted so much. Why build up to a climatic cliffhanger with the rumbling, only to basically ignore it for the entire following chapter?

I honestly wonder if titan shifting still works as it used to. I'm afraid of seeing Falco get eaten for nothing. Honestly I'm worried about Falco dying for nothing while people right over him as a pawn in general.

Quite interesting chapter. Had fun with it. Much, much slower paced than expected almost. But then again we need time to cover all this stuff. And I'm happy it all took place in the current rather than another flashback. Not really a fan of the Gabi stuff but it is what it is. The other character developments were quite nice. Reiner literally just falling asleep tho lol. Overall I guess I wouldn't say it's a "big" chapter but it is necessary to bridge what came before with whatever comes next. And at long last Annie is back, so that's GLORIOUS.

I hope Annie will have such a big role she gets repaid for the all years she's been gone😞

I hope Isayama uses the slowdown in the pace to better sell the scale of the rumbling, we already see part of that by hoe Eren's dino titan still isnt complete, even after all this time

I love how the story is progressing.The next chapter is always something I personally don't expect and it's always exciting. The hype at the beginning/end of the month is unreal. As for the chapter itself, it's always refreshing to see Jean's perspective on Eren's plans because I love his interpretations on him. #TEAMJAEGER

i love my waifu annie i missed her so much

I love you Connie and I'm sure your mom is nice and all but Falco is a precious bean who needs to be protected.

I really hated the Gabi-Sasha and Gabi-Eren parallels. I also still think Gabi was never needed in this story, in fact I don’t know how I’ll be able to stomach season 4. Ugh, the first half will be completely and utterly Gabified. Gabi in color and motion plus speaking, YUCK! Anyways I hope that the next chapter will have an update on Hange, Levi, and Historia. And maybe Floch getting punched by Shadis that would be the Cherry on top.

It was an average chapter, not bad but nowhere near as good as the previous ones. Plus I'd appreciate if other characters, outside of Gabi, had more spotlight. Her arc and development is done, give more development and screentime to other characters such as Mikasa please.

Just being disappointed. The pacing is very slow. Also the main cast's reactions were too passive. I hated it.

Just great. Just great. The drawings were incredible and the plot just keeps getting better.

Less Gabi, more Historia!

Levi and Hange better return in some way, shape, or form, or Yam's is in for it.

Levi is the new Annie

Love getting to see thoughts from many different characters and where they stand. A lot of them are still left behind trying to rationalise things to make it emotionally palatable, or simply stuck not being able to accept the reality, whereas Gabi has kind of gone ahead and realised there's evil on both sides, and she's willing to kill Eren or work with him if she can best protect the people she cares about (eventually probably not just her friends and family either, but the outside Eldians as a whole).

My baby is back!!!!!!!! I wanna see more of ANNIE!!!!!!

Nicolo talking to Kaya and Gabi was cringey af. Did they really do back to that derpy forest analogy? If this series ends with them holding hands and singing around a campfire imma legit be so disappointed. I need me my Rumbling!

This chapter felt like a nostalgia trip, but I wasn't in for the ride. It was a mess of short catching-up moments when I just want to pick Eren's brain. I want to see Levi and Hange alive or hear what Annie and Historia think about the events, but at the moment I don't care about even those storylines. I just want to know what the relationship between Ymir and Eren is now that the walls came down.

The first panel being Mr. Leonhart was a pretty strong indicator to me that Annie would be released in the last panel, and it was. I felt that to be extremly poetic, and the timing is good too. Another wildcard in the plot. Excellent.

Compared to the previous chapter, this one turned out to be very disappointing. I was excited to see the rumbling and getting a glimpse of Eren’s thoughts and feelings. But instead I got Reiner going to sleep, Gabi being paralleled to Eren (again) and Sasha, the 104th busy arguing over what to do with Falco instead of, you know, focusing on THE RUMBLING

Good chapter, but if S4 is the final season and airs Autumn 2020, and with a monthly release, curious as to how isayama might tie up these "last minute" plot threads such as the new developments with Connie and Falco.

What else can I say except it's amazing and it was worth the wait

Where is Levi damnit

#snk poll #snk poll results #snk chapter poll #snk 124 #snk chapter 124

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maikatc · 5 years ago

Text

Black Sun Tale | Two Weeks

i’m dropping this bad boy early!! this is by far my favorite chapter i have written as of yet so i really do hope this gets spread around from the people that reads this because boy is this an experience!-

regardless, remember that this is a first draft with only minor edits, but nonetheless enjoy the chapter.

The child picked upon the grasses of Fowls and freed the broken pieces from his hand. Only instead of it flying away through some gentle breeze, dashing away into the nature ahead, it fell without any weight behind it, landing flat into the rest of its brethren. He sighed at the falling pieces, continuing to drop them and sitting beyond disappointment. The greens coaxed his weighing patience and filling stomach, yet an emptiness lied in both matters at hand.

His mother sat by him, face crinkled in concern and gaze fixated on the grass he broke. Her position imposed his usual state: knees up, arms wrapped around and mouth buried in. However, her dress fluffed out of the arms she belted her legs to, the summer blue of the fabric touching both of them, while her hair crumpled up against her arms. No cold winds blew the hair, the dress, even fragile skin away, but the stillness brought eerie silence.

“What’s the plan,” he spoke. “The one for me to start eating?”

She continued watching the greens falling, no seeming heart to reply at first. “I won’t be the one to guide you in this,” she replied.

“Then who is?”

“Margaret,” was her answer, “a second era.”

He broke a new piece. “Why her?”

Her tone rang empty, no energy peeping from her arm. “Her and her brother are known in the society to feast on their victims.”

He squirmed.

“She’s more fitting to aid you than I am.”

Plucking an entire patch of grass, he stuttered out, “What’s her plan for me?”

The best answer she gave was, “I haven’t an idea. All I know is that it may work.”

With the last bit of the grass patch gone from his hands, the boy sighed. He dusted off his dirt-less hands and plummeted himself down. “When do you want me to meet her?”

“… A day.”

“A day?”

She told him, “You likely need to be as energized as possible, as I’ve said.”

“Right.” his body tensed at nothing as the possibilities arrived closer than he would have wished. “So, tomorrow then.”

She hummed a yes. “I give you my luck.”

Soon, his vision began to blur along with his sense of consciousness. It seemed he must be returning to his normal state. Though before he could frolic with a full stomach and painful guilt, he muttered to himself, “I hope I even have luck.”

***

“Oliver,” Vittorino asked him, “Are you ready to go to Grettie’s for once?”

“Grettie’s?” Oliver whisked his head from his music, a great distraction.

Vittorino’s arms crossed between one another as he wore an impatient face. “You’ve been avoiding it since you came back from school.”

“And why’re you so worried about it?”

He whined, “Because Alice told me I had to take you.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, besides I haven’t met up with the twins in a while.”

Oliver retorted back, “But that’s your choice! I have nothing so far except that I have to.”

Vittorino sighed. “I’m sorry to say but you gotta get over this,” reminding him, “you’re only gonna get hungrier.”

Plucking a string harshly, the next few days of the starving cycle flashed to him. Morally speaking, dying was the better option. Though the escape from pain and survival weighed more in his fears. “Fine.”

In an instant, another door appeared before Oliver’s room, basking in loving swirls for a design. The bubbliness of it subdued his overall interest.

“I do not like that.”

“Nobody does, except Grettie.” Vittorino opened the door to the inside of another home. Walls formed by wood and decorations to spare. “Hey! Margaret! It’s been forever!” He turned back to Oliver, gesturing him to enter.

Oliver, still in bed, sighed and brought himself over, grabbing his cardigan on the way.

Once inside, the door slammed shut.

Vittorino already adjusted himself by the dining table. His back leaned by the side of the wooden chair and legs relaxed by laying on another. The table decorated itself with a flower vase and coasters that shined with antique beauty. The fine detail of all the furniture were similar to the table, even. Loving swirls and loops cradled each other in its old-fashioned beauty. And along with it all was the woman of the household carrying a bucket to the kitchen.

Warm colors bloomed unto her dress and apron, her sleeves dangling against her elbows even when rolled up. Her height continued to stature Oliver, especially in heels, though still not as tall as Vittorino. She held a smile upon her face at him, with brown eyes shining like agates and hair tied with a braid. “Why Oliver! It’s such a pleasure of meeting you.” Her accent was thick compared to others, Oliver supposed German. She lowered a hand to meet his as a greeting, a dirty substance piled onto her skin. “Forgive me for not washing up yet, but I suppose you’ve met the same issue before,” she joked.

Oliver knew the scent, and reluctantly took the hand. “You’re Margaret?”

“Yes, but you’re always open to call me Grettie,” she said. “You can sit with Vittorino while I make preparations.”

“For training…?”

“Oh no,” she laughed, “I simply plan on making sweets later today.”

“Don’t eat them,” Vittorino whispered. “The sugar’s like poison.”

Trusting some of Vittorino’s guidance, Oliver nodded at him while sitting in the other chair.

As brought herself to the kitchen, and no loud noises rang at her area. Oliver breathed, “Okay, so far, she isn’t as bad as I thought.”

“Oh, Gret’s definitely one of the nicer ones of the second eras.”

He questioned, “Then what’s worse?”

“Well, there’s some that are just stuck-up, so they’re annoying. And others like to complain like first eras, so they’re annoying too.”

“… And?”

“Yeah that’s about it.”

God, I can’t believe it, “What about the crazy ones?”

He chuckled. “We’re all probably ‘crazy’, but the crazier ones of us are just funny.”

Bluntly, Oliver replied, “You all suck.”

Margaret exited her spot in the kitchen. “Now Vittorino, we need to catch up with one another.” She sat between the two of them.

He eyed Oliver before speaking. “C’mon, I’ve just been busy with work for months. I need to hear what’s up with you and everyone.”

“You haven’t had any interesting targets?” She pouted. “You have to have at least one good story to tell.”

Vittorino scowled, “Even with our break, Alice’s been having me deal with eight different people! And I can’t even kill them off like normal because ‘she says so.’”

“That’s seems like a fine hassle, Vittorino.”

“They aren’t. Half of ‘em are dumb and boring.” He rolled his eyes as Oliver sat confused. “But let me hear about how everyone else is doing.”

“Why,” she started, “Hans and I have been living comfortably as always.”

“Yeah, duh, you guys are functional.”

“Though apparently, Orelia found Mei.”

“Huh, no way,” Vittorino’s face widened. “How’d she find her?”

“Got bored herself and hunted her down,” she exclaimed.

“Sounds like her,” he laughed. “And did Mei panic?”

“Well, of course, no! She actually managed to escape from what ‘Relia says too.”

Wait a minute. Oliver continued to stay silent. Is this just their gossip?

“Look, look, now the question is how she even got out.”

“Jumped out of the window while tied up.”

Vittorino busted out laughing.

“It was all for fun and games, so there wasn’t much effort put into it.”

“Still! The savageness,” he wheezed, “is unreal!”

Says the savages.

“So now Mei’s gone again,” Vittorino asked.

“Yes, yet again.”

“Darn, I would’ve gone and picked on her a little.”

Margaret asked him, “Well, what about Adeen?”

He shrugged, “We both got tired of each other a while ago. But she had the same deal with everyone else.”

“Well, have you seen her since?”

He scoffed, “No, she’s just bothering herself with her own fires and crying about it, probably.”

“My, what a shame,” she huffed. “But Vittorino, we may need to find another time for stories because of the little one over here.” She gestured her hands at Oliver, now washed and clean.

He smiled. “Ah, right. Sorry Oliver.” He stood up from his chair and waved as he walked by the door. “Good luck with her,” he commented.

“He’ll need it,” Margaret replied.

As he shut the door, the woman shifted her gears towards Oliver. “Now then, let’s talk. Cannibal to cannibal.”

Oliver shuffled in his seat. “Even if I joke about it, I don’t like being referred to that…”

“That’s fine then,” she ensured. “About your diet…”

Adjusting his jacket, he replied, “Yeah…”

“Is there anything you’re curious of?” She pointed towards the kitchen. “Anything you want to try out?”

Oliver twiddled his fingers with a teared-up fabric from her pointing, and tapped his foot against the table. “Not really, but what– … How come you started to eat like that?”

“Why,” she exclaimed, “there isn’t much to it, but my brother and I were introduced to it thanks to Akeldama.”

Akeldama…? The name rang a bell in his head. “What do you mean by introduced?”

“Oh, he gave us flesh for meals as our experiment,” she told. “They tasted all fine and well but we grew accustom to it.”

“Wait,” Oliver pointed his finger to a pause. “Experiment?”

She gasped, “I’m sorry. I forgot you aren’t one of us.” She flipped her braid to the side and twisted it. “Akeldama saved every one of us from one thing or another and raised us all to be free endeavors. But whilst raising us, he experimented us with different kinds of exposure for curiosity sake. Effects varied but for me and Hans, we live jolly lives.”

Oliver pulled back, disturbed at the actions. “And you all were okay with it…?”

She answered, “Some put up with it before he even found them. But all of us trusted him one way or another.” She grasped her apron’s bow. “Besides, if it weren’t for the experiments, I wouldn’t have found a fun joy in the career we have.”

Oliver bit his lip. “Okay, I know you guys have fun with killing and all that stuff, but… explain a little more?”

She chuckled. “Killing is alright, but it’s not my interest. I found more fun in making meals of the matter.” Explaining herself, she grabbed a cup and kettle, serving herself tea. “Nobody’s ever explored what you could make with the meat because of the moral standards, but we don’t have that to back us down. So, it’s like discovering a whole new type of art in cuisine!”

He bit harder.

“It’s lucky that my brother and I share our payments, because now we’ve set it to where he hunts our share while I venture to see what I can make in the world here.” She grinned in pride at him. Though Oliver refused to genuinely smile back.

“So, uh, you like cooking then. That’s why.” Oliver studied the house more as a distraction from implications. Cute frames and paintings floated above them on the walls, staring him down. “… How are you gonna help me?”

She swirled her tea around, eying him. “You see, my ability is going to help us today definitely.” Clicking on the ring of the cup, she assured him, “There’s nothing to worry about considering time.”

He questioned her on the statement.

“My ability preserves time and magic in closed areas and objects.” She said in excitement, “If I ever were to store ingredients, they’d never rot for instance; and that way, we can take as long as needed.”

“Oh wait, that’s useful.”

“It truly is.” She then stood and pushed in her chair. Tea was still buried in her hands as she led a new route. “Come with me, now.”

Oliver followed.

“How do you feel about eating the meat? As a concept.”

“Terrible.”

“Oh, that’s no good.” She stopped at a rustic door, one made of newer metal than the rest of the home. She sighed, “I haven’t used this room in forever!”

Yanking onto the door handle, Margaret pulled with all of her weight and muscle. She tried to keep her grunts hidden though failed the more she pulled on the metal.

As she struggled, Oliver insisted upon himself grabbing the handle she once held. “Can I try?”

Huffing, she nodded.

The weight was mild, but his strength prevailed with his missing hunger. The door opened quite easily for him.

“My,” she cheered, “you’re definitely the son of a strong fellow.” She scuffed his hair, to his pride and discomfort.

Stepping on over, Oliver entered into what laid behind the door. A setting of bricks created a small room along with cobwebs to match the darkness. Rotten water stank the area and the only scene of comfort to be found was a worn-out pillow and a rock bed floor on the side. Countless of cracks and withers dressed the land, grass plucking up down beneath. It was all empty abandon.

“Huh…” Oliver tensed. “What exactly is the plan for being here…?”

Slam.

Eyes widening, Oliver whipped his head back to find the door shut against him. Immediately, he run to the door and tried to push it back open. No avail. “Margaret,” he gasped for air, “what are you doing?”

“Ah, luckily I can still close this old thing. Anyhow, it’s my plan for your training,” she said. “I won’t let you out until you eat- oh hold a second, I forgot.”

Her will was correct, as it only took a second until the edge of the door opened up, leaving a little hole. “Until you eat this.” Through the hole, a plate appeared before Oliver, scent thick once she closed the opening again. A raw piece of flesh was on that plate, blood dripping at the edges and forcing Oliver’s heart to pound at the sight. “I’ve heard you tended to eat uncooked meat. Mighty interesting, I say.”

“No…” The shaking body dropped to the ground, gagging and wheezing. “I- I have a family, and friends, and-”

“Don’t worry about that. If you take long, you’ll only be gone for an hour or two.” She added, “And the dungeon disables magic, so you aren’t able to turn into the wolf here.”

Tears were too staggered to drip against his cheeks. He covered his mouth as he whimpered, “Let me out.”

She giggled, “You think that’ll get me? This may have been years ago but I’ve had plenty of people crying in this very dungeon before. You won’t be any different.” Though, after she said, “That is, aside from the fact that I’ll force you if you get to the brink of death- but that’s just because this was all Alice’s request.”

He cried, “But I can’t-”

“And if you’re worried about the meat, there’s no need for concern. It’ll be fresh no matter how long you prevent yourself!” Steps uttered in Oliver’s ears as his heart dropped. “And trust me, it’ll be delicious.”

“No, no, no,” the breathing began. He banged on the door as he screamed, “Let me go!” over and over. “Please let me go!”

But nobody arrived in his aid. No way sufficed as a way out. No one hid to find him at the latest moment. Nobody comforted him in the hopes of anew after so long.

Minutes passed and he realized this. His last scream finally croaked out as his panicking high peaked. Still restless however, he turned to the plate of flesh, disgusted at the sight. Pushing it aside, he escaped from his thoughts to the corner of the dungeon, and curled up into a ball, shaking and crying in the silence of the darkness.

***

She hummed as she cooked and baked, twirling around in the meanwhile as she made her fun.

Hans would arrive to the home from time to time; their sibling bonding being rather kindly and that of a truly connected family.

Otherwise, some guests would arrive at the home, Grettie greeting them all to her lovely home with delicious sweets and rarities. They’d discuss all kinds of topics and all expressed such great interest and passion between one another, until they left for the satisfying day.

Time spent at her home was considerably gracious. At least, from Oliver’s observations in the dungeon.

Shaken from weakness and exhaustion, he listened. Carefully and quietly, the life outside his cell irked in his skin as his hunger ached him. A mixture of a certain emptiness welled inside of him, something he could never describe again every second, over the time he had been trapped. And the length of how long he was inside? He lost that long before.

No distractions were laid out in front of him. The beautiful music to focus upon; the news to worry over; the few friends to trust and talk to, gone with seeping recollection. He wept for them without knowing who he truly wept for by that instance.

All there was, from the useless bed and careless bricks, was that plate. It daunted him. From the ever-growing scent and tiny pool of blood, it ravaged his mind to almost a resisting obsession. The only answer of escape was through that core of a human, taking it up and knowing it down to his throat where the nectar and bites lodged itself with flavor. He gulped at every thought from the scent, though never carried out. He still refused to lose his own battle despite the torture it brought him. The pain will eventually force him to truly forget his purpose, he imagined; however, the conversations from the outside was his only grasp to the rope of sanity.

Margaret’s humming continued, a hellish humming so-to-say. Basic and leaning towards off-pitch, but Oliver did not mind anymore. Cutting ingredients and burning kettles tickled his ears harshly, the sounds growing more aggressive the more he stayed. Though, yet again Margaret’s door opened up.

“Margaret? You’re home, correct?”

His twitching eyes darted at the cell door. The timid voice screamed into Oliver’s memory. And soon his breathing quickened over the voice of his mother who brought him here.

“Why, Alice! Of course, I’m home.” Steps pattered on the floor. “It’s always lovely to have guests over, come, sit.”

More trickles of steps hit the ground, the new ones much more gentle and hesitant in sound. The chair squeaked away from its spot for one to sit.

“Would you like some tea?”

“Oh- No, thank you. Your brews are considerably too sweet…”

Another chair screeched back. “Says the woman known for her amounts of sugar.” An object, likely a sugar cube, dropped into a beverage. The clicking against her tea cup jabbed into Oliver’s ears.

“Well, not many trust your meals anyways.”

“But it’s always kindly to offer. Besides, Hans and sometimes Orelia already enjoy what I make.” A sip replied to her words. “Oh, it still needs more sugar.”

She continued to drink her tea as Alice sat silently along with her.

“So, Margaret…” She cleared her throat. “What was the conclusion for Oliver?”

“Ah.” The junior set down her cup. “It’s been about a week but he’s still in there. Quite stubborn I’d admit.”

“He- what are you speaking of?”

“His training, obviously.”

“… What did you do for him?”

She clicked the cup. “What I did? Why, I decided to use up the old dungeon again and keep him there until he eats. There’s not much else to it.”

A slam banged the table. “You WHAT?”

“It’s a simple method, Alice. People grow desperate quick with it.”

“- And he’s been stuck there for a week? It’s only been an hour since he was dropped off-. Margaret, you’re traumatizing him!

“Is that what you call it?” She laughed. “My dear, his lifestyle must have been filled with so much ‘trauma’ that this will be nothing.”

“Yes but-” she paused. “He’s only a child!”

“A child that’s seen faces of death millions of times for almost half his life, who isolates himself constantly and penalizes himself to the brink of death. I wouldn’t refer to him as an innocent one.”

“… How do you know that?”

She sipped. “It was merely a hunch though it wasn’t hard to guess. Us lost children have had similar instances at some point in time.”

“You’re just excusing yourself,” Alice hissed. “Where is he?”

“Right over there.” A running dashed and slammed at his door.

“Oliver! Oliver, are you okay?” Alice cried out for him carelessly.

Thoughts were blurred for the sickened one, his opinions empty. However, few words he remembered, those he questioned, rang out like none other. “I’m fine,” he croaked, throat burning at his first time talking in ages.

She choked back her tears. “I’m so sorry, Oliver. I didn’t expect her to go this far!”

He never questioned her words, only her actions.

In silence, he asked, “Why was I created…?”

“What,” she gasped through her sobs.

“You put me here… because of how I was made,” the words flew out of his mouth without thinking. “Why make me when I have to be in this…?”

She spoke softly. “Because I wanted you. That’s all I ever wanted… But now, I regret being so careless of my desires. Careless enough to make you the way you are. And it pains me every day to know what you are because of me, Oliver.”

A pit in his gut yanked him into a sicker state. “Then, I was a mistake.”

“I-” She paused. “No, no, that’s not what I’m telling.”

She stuttered at words.

“You’re… an anomaly to be amazed with, Oliver. It was a miracle for you to be created in the first place… But all I’ve wanted was to live a normal life, living in a pretty cottage with my daring husband and beautiful, happy son. I tried my best for my dreams to come true, trust me.”

There was no reaction to the words that displayed soulless for him. Though a certain lie stuck in his head. “What about my father?”

“Your father…” She giggled against her crying. “Christopher was… a rambunctious fellow. He’d pull off some idiotic things just to spite like- like he named himself after his housecat to make our leader mad! He made so many stunts in rebellion it was charming until… that, occurred. But, nevertheless I love him.”

“… Sounds nice.”

Oliver lost the time between their silence. All he heard was her crying, and sobbing endlessly until the emotions laid dry.

“Why won’t you let me go,” he asked.

She delayed her answer at first. “Regardless of how terrible it is, you have to learn. Forgive me…” A step back uttered in Oliver’s ears yet again, but this time with no panic or fear. “I’ll have to leave you now, but good luck.”

She left him there, as his loving mother, thanking Margaret for the visit and shutting the door.

***

“What were you thinking, Margaret?!” The door slammed intensely to the harm of Oliver’s more sensitive ears. His conscious began to fade in and out without his control along with his skin wilting into black. Though, despite the weakness, the angered voice brought an unrecognizable memory.

“Oh my!” Margaret cheered while placing down her knife. “Akeldama, it’s lovely of you to be here after so-”

“Answer the question.”

“What? About Oliver?”

“Of course, about him,” he yelled. “You don’t know of the consequences that it would bring, don’t you?”

“Well, I figured he’d be fine considering being of-”

“It doesn’t work like that,” he interrupted. “He’s been inside for almost two weeks, hasn’t he?”

No sound of a reply.

A click was made. “He should be going numb by now from his senses going wild without anything.” He ordered, “Let me see him.”

No steps crinkled into his hearing, however a new feature of the cell door arrived so late. The top opened up a small linear hole for eyes to appear before him. Oliver shook and winced at the light he never recalled. Yet what pierced his heart was the blood red eyes looking back at him.

“How long were you planning on keeping him here?”

Margaret answered, “About three weeks, since that was the point most of my targets lasted.”

“That’s too much of a risk,” he replied. “He’ll last two or three days at most by now.”

“Wow,” she exclaimed, “I wouldn’t imagine him being weak-bodied.”

“Just special,” he commented. However soon after, his voice grew stern. “Now, if he doesn’t eat by tomorrow, you make him eat the food or else I’ll execute you and your brother. You understand?”

Again, no reply.

“Good, now go. I want to talk with him.”

Soft steps surrounded the area slow and steady, with muttering words, “He hasn’t executed anybody since the 1700s!”

“And I won’t hesitate about it, Grettie,” he spoke back. “But give yourself credit. It’s a first for me to be this frustrated. Consider it a good job on your part.”

“Ah, why thank you, Akeldama.” And she ran off to a room she normally wandered off to in Oliver’s head.

After a moment of silence, Akeldama looked away from the peep-hole and sighed. “I should’ve expected this honestly, but hopefully majority of your memory here is blurred over time.”

Oliver refused to open his mouth at the supposed, experimental heathen.

“You don’t have to talk, if you’d like. I’ve just wanted to talk for a long while. Besides, humans need some sort of interaction once an occasion, so it’s for the best.”

The boy followed the beast’s response. Though, his way of speech poked in his mind.

“… Okay. You’re not in the best situation, even for an apparent benefit. And I know you listened to what I said so let me say one thing: it’s fine to feel however you’re feeling about your case.”

He listened against his wildering mind.

“People can say idiotic things, make absurd actions, that can overall be ridiculous in the grand scheme of things. But that’s the beauty of it. They choose to do as they please because they feel like it’s the right thing, even if to others, it isn’t, you know?” He blabbered silently, yet with passion sighing out. “And what’s greater is that you don’t even have to listen, you don’t have to agree with them or follow them. Humans choose their own paths because they are themselves and their own mind, and you’re even able to do that as well.”

He paused. “… The point is, no matter the reasoning, or the excuses some make up, you don’t have to follow them or continue on liking them. It’s all one’s choice and you live for your benefit, that’s another beauty.” He formed a short chuckle. “Honestly, you were one of those sudden impulses… from what I recall. Sure, you may not live the best life, but be grateful for living. I’m surprised this has all come this far, even. You’ve been a wondrous creation just with some faults in the mixture, but that shouldn’t back you down at all.”

The monologue eased Oliver’s shaking breathing. His words held no panic nor inane excitement. Only a foreign, changing accent and honest words spoke even when he could not understand them.

“You may not enjoy your hardships with them but you should still live… You’re able to be furious, despondent, fearful, and even if that leads to one’s downfall, it’s still one of the best things you can have. It makes you human. And as-”

He stopped. Then began to pace in his new steps. “I’ve said too much. Far too much, haven’t I?”

Oliver stayed silent still.

“Why, this is very new for me,” he stammered. “I must’ve gotten it from Livi- no, don’t say that… What should I consider this, then?”

He talked to himself for some time, to Oliver’s still listening ears.

“Ugh, I want you to forget this- practically all of this, but that’d be ill-wise for your sake.” He continued his fast steps. “Forget about me but don’t forget my words,” and a command was made.

Afterwards, his steps led to the exit and a shut was made.

More steps scuttled back in, with Margaret’s voice following. “My, he’s never said anything like that to us. What a surprise.” After a moment, she walked on over to the cell door, opening the peep hole and Oliver meeting her eyes. She gasped, “Oh wow, I never imagined something so peculiar… Well, you heard him earlier, I’ll make you eat by tomorrow, so enjoy your time.”

And the opening was shut, cutting off the light he yearned for so long.

***

After fading away from himself once or twice, he began scratching up his arms. Yet no blood seeped out from the deepening black they have become.

Every movement ached in numb pain. A burning sensation crawled under his skin every second as his heart raced for something to take. His mind floated away from any thoughtful strength, waiting for something to take over him like all the other times, but to no avail, his reliance failed. Outside noises began to ring an inaudible tone while the darkness finally blinded his surroundings. The bricks he laid against disappeared as he lost what he once viewed as a simple corner. And the pain blocked him from being able to acknowledge himself through touch.

All that remained was his desperate self, and his scent.

How long will it be until he was finally free? He wondered. It must only be a few hours until she arrived again, dragging him back to the light. Returning him to his home, his music, his apparent love. He would return to where he was cherished, right? Only one would believe of where he had been, and care for him, he knew that much. The gratification of comfort awaited him the more his pain faded away.

All that was needed was a bite.

A delicious bite that would bless him back his senses the most sinful way possible. The tender meat stacking on his tongue, blood staining his refurnished skin. The scent and taste masking all of himself and pain with ecstasy instead while the meat crumpled in his mouth into more flavor within itself.

He would lick up the blood off his fingers, for what a fine delicacy it would be! Such a tiny bite would turn into the amass in front of him. His tiny hands grabbing and hassling all the meat until he gobbled it all up, for what a delight, it was! What an amazement, it was, for embracing such a sin! Who knew something so torturous would transform to something so addicting!

… That is, until his sight returned to him, and in the dark, was his bloody hands in front of an empty plate. He gasped back with a jump as his energy already started returning to him. The metallic taste blended into his mouth while processing what he committed. His fingers curled into his mouth, his body craving more for what was on it.

He whipped it away, and tried rubbing it all off on his cardigan. Don’t.

He stared back at the plate, now empty but still carrying trickles of blood. Don’t.

Crawling back, his pain ached for more. Please, don’t.

Yet his heart’s cries failed while licking off the blood on the plate.

“Well, well…” Her words articulated perfectly again. Oliver turned to find the peep hole open. “I wonder how delicious it would’ve been before,” she laughed.

Glaring at her, he wiped his face, thoughts trying to lick it off.

“You only had an hour left but, congrats.” The door knob turned, but she grunted back with no door movement. “Oh, now I didn’t think this through…”

“What,” with a tone empty.

She continued to pull the door until she pouted. “It seems that you have to open this yourself, but you don’t have the strength yet, don’t you?” With a sigh, her steps faded off. “I’ll fetch you more food to gain yourself then. Consider this as more than seconds.”

He sat in silence, and all he reacted with was a lick of the teeth.

***

“You don’t have to…”

“But I insist!” Margaret rushed back and forth from the kitchen, carrying various items each time from an old cloth bag to a kitchen knife, her apron getting dirtier every minute. “Consider it an apology treat.”

He asked without effort, “And why an apology treat?”

She rushed out of the kitchen with the burlap bag, brown and sturdy, and handed it to him with blood slowly staining the cloth underneath. “I didn’t expect this to be that much of a controversy, so to say.” She grinned. “This won’t rot by all the rest, but I know you’ll gobble it up in no time!”

A pit in his now full stomach grew. His senses acted up upon the treats inside the bag. “… Okay, just get Vittorino please.”

“Gladly, but you may have to wait.” she dabbled on a piece of paper and pen she quickly grabbed, only to then slide it into a box. “Would you like to talk in the meanwhile-?”

“No- no,” Oliver replied. “I’ll wait… here.” Sitting down, he stared at the bag whilst she sat across from him.

She placed an arm on the table. “If you must.”

Only a few minutes passed before Vittorino returned by the door. His arm held his head from behind as he walked in. He sighed, “You cannot believe how dumb some teenagers can be.”

Glumly, Oliver found Vittorino in his relaxed state as always in his talking, but the aching relief of seeing him again simply moved him to his side.

Vittorino noticed, and looked down upon him.

“… Take me somewhere quiet.”

Vittorino stared, then made an understanding face. “Margaret, you took him in there, didn’t you?”

“Did you think it was a bad idea too?” Her arms crossed each other. “Even Akeldama got mad about it!”

He never replied, and instead returned to Oliver’s request. “Yeah, I think I know a place.”

The place was a beach, cobbled with sandy air and a serene blue sky. Clouds overweighed the color; recent drops kissed marks on the ground with gentle mush at every touch. The clouds refused to walk on yet the gusty breeze blew away from any dim atmosphere, blowing speckles of sands and the fluff of one’s hair.

Waters slept soundly, not pushing against the end of the island and instead snoring little tuffs of its puddles. Its clear body reflected the sky above, and through glimpses shined the rocks it used as pillows. Those rocks of smooth sheen crept around every step, from the waters to the growing forest behind. No tide could interrupt the restful evening, not the moon nor any sight of the sun.

The greys of the land contradicted lifelessness.

Vittorino trudged himself over onto the sidelines of the water. Sitting down, he snatched a pebble and watched the whistling waves.

Oliver only stood against it all, eying Vittorino without the rest of the world. “What’s this place?”

He threw the pebble into the water. “A place that no one’s lived in for 300 years. It’d be quiet, yeah?” The pebble skidded through the water for seconds’ count until dripping down below.

Without a motivation, he joined the other. His shoes tipped at the edge of the water with temptation of dunking in. The water tickled his soles, but to none of his laughter. He stared down upon it and Vittorino’s pebbles. The gratifying wind of the land dissatisfied his unknown desires. As the wind carried his hair against his face, he turned to the bag by his hands, gaining closer to stain the sand underneath him.

It was a bag of fulfillment, one that he could show off to himself and bask in the treasure. Such a fulfillment already engrailed in his stomach in which he obsessed over only minutes ago. Why would he like that, he asked. A mere worthless beast would crave such a fulfillment. Yet, the pit in his spirit craved to be rid of it, and told his arm to move. Staring blankly against the sky, his dried-up, bloody hand dipped into his mouth, creeping down to into his throat until he brought himself down to a gag and-

A hand grabbed his arm back, another trapping around his torso. “Don’t do that-” Vittorino struggled to speak.

“No,” he wrestled back at him. Water leaped out of his eyes.

“You’ll die, Oliver.”

“Please stop and leave me-” His spirit stopped at the final word, complete fear and pain returning at the thought of the word, the thought of the phrase. The sickening pit gouged his skin to an utter freeze. And the seeking of comfort finally returning him to a necessity.

“Oliver…?”

“Take me to the street,” he said.

“The street?”

“You know which one,” he said.

Vittorino studied and loosened his grip, still grabbing hold. A small wave finally kicked and watered their feet, catching a small trickle of blood along the way.

“… Okay.”

***

The comfort was writing on his journal, drabbles of lines sinking down into the corner without control of the page. He was curled up in his blankets, earbud wires attached in the abyss of his hair and the end of an MP3 player.

Oliver stood beside him in his distraction, bag in hand, until he finally turned around and saw.

He froze from his writing, eyes widening and blinking to a red tint. He stared up at his dead eyes, mouth agape and finding a word. But Oliver already knew what to begin with.

“Let’s not talk about it.”

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